#gonna gamble all of my stuff SO BAD FOR HER WHEN SHE COMES OUT

[selstice]

so how do we feel abt the new survivor guys1!1!

[sometimesanalice]

Are You Gonna Be My Girl?

Summary: It’s been a couple of months since the two of you have started hooking up, and it’s no secret that Rooster is hung up on you. He takes the gamble and invites you to the yearly Halloween bash at the Hard Deck. The only problem is he can’t figure out what the hell you’re supposed to be. 

Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x Female Reader

Length: 6.2K

Warnings: allusions to smut and Rooster being a simp (but what else is new 😂) (mdni)

The Black Keys’ “Howlin’ for You” playing loudly over the static-y speakers of the Hard Deck masking the sound of Rooster’s fingers as he impatiently drums them on top of the worn table, uncaring of the fact he’s out of tempo with the song.

Penny’s yearly Halloween Spooktacular has always been a fan favorite with those stationed at North Island. A name that Amelia had thrown shade at no less than five times as she worked on designing the event flier the afternoon that the Daggers had been bribed with free beers for coming in on their free time to help decorate.

There wasn’t an inch of the bar that was left untouched, and it wasn’t just that Bob had gotten carried away with the downy spider webbing. There were orange and purple string lights threaded around the circular mug racks, floating candles over the pool table, dangling bats and streamers, and an enthusiastic but poorly executed attempt at a balloon arch over the entry door.

The wispy fog covered punchbowl with a suspicious dark purple beverage bubbled away on the bartop, tendrils cascaded over the side only adding to the atmosphere. The stuff was so potent that Bradley was pretty sure it would put the jungle juice he’d thrown back in college to shame.

Rooster had been tasked with curating the playlist for tonight’s party, and if he’d been paying even a little bit of attention, he’d have known his choices were being well received by the boisterous crowd. But his attention is half split trying to listen to Hangman’s story about the Halloween prank gone wrong that left him with twelve stitches and half listening for-

Ding

He’s quick on the draw to pull out his phone from the chest pocket to check if it was his that went off.

When he’d arrived Nat, decked out in a sequined pink gown with a gun he wasn’t sure was fake or not strapped to her thigh for her Miss Congeniality costume, had given him a look of disdain and said what he was wearing was low effort even for him.

Rooster tucks his phone away with a disappointed sigh when there are zero new notifications on his lock screen.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you so whipped over a girl before, Bradshaw,” Hangman drawls, leaning into the gunslinging cowboy thing he has going on for the evening. His shirt is unbuttoned more than is strictly necessary, and is complete with a belt buckle that is larger than the state of Texas and too heavy looking to have been bought off Amazon.

Ding

Bradley fishes out his phone again from the pocket he’d put it back in only moments earlier.

You, 10:32pm: “u up?”

He grins.

“And we’ve lost him,” someone snarks, but he’s too busy punching in the password to unlock his phone to care.

Bradley Bradshaw, 10:32pm: are you ever going to let that go?

You, 10:32pm: Mmm, no. You were so bad at being a fuckboy, it was funny.

You, 10:33pm: But in a very hot way, might I add. And clearly, it worked in your favor since I let you come over and hit it a second time.

Rooster snorts in amusement.

It was the first and last time he’d taken Fanboy’s advice and you teased him about it every opportunity you got. He had been a little rusty with the ins and outs of no-strings-attached sex with someone who wasn’t in the Navy. But he’d more than made up for it that same night by eating you out until your legs were shaking and you were weakly pushing his head away as he’d coaxed you into coming just one more time against his tongue.

Bradley Bradshaw, 10:33pm: don’t remember hearing you laughing last night when your pussy was dripping all over my cock

He takes a sip of beer as he waits for your response.

You, 10:33pm: Look! You’re already so much better at sexting than you were when we met!

You, 10:34pm: “u up?” is still on the table, by the way. Not to brag, but I even have a pumpkin shaped pizza. 

You, 10:34pm: If you want to come over. 

If you want to come over. He shakes his head reading the text again.

As if he’d ever pass up on getting to spend time with you.

As if Rooster hadn’t been hooked on you since the moment he’d met you.

𝗧𝗪𝗢 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗧𝗛𝗦 𝗔𝗚𝗢

As a general rule, Bradley hated grocery shopping.

He’s never had the patience for it, with the way that everyone is in their own world. He gets tired of always having to weave around people and the way that there always seems to be carelessly parked carts or people catching up standing between him and the items on his list.

Which is why when he noticed the parking lot was mostly empty on his way home, he decided to stop and spare himself the headache of doing it over the weekend when everyone else was out and just get it done.

He’d expected to be in and out in record time until the uniform lines of colorful cartons of ice cream caught his attention as he was tossing in a few bags of frozen chicken into his cart. Normally it was always so crowded that he never felt like he could take his time looking without being in someone’s way, that he’d skip it entirely and later try to convince himself that his Greek yogurt was just as good. But tonight since no one was around, he was taking his time.

Under the glare of the fluorescents, he stands there with the hum of the freezers competing with the too-twangy-for-his-taste country song playing over the speakers and debating his options when he feels an arm thread around his own, surprising him out of the pros and cons list he was making in his head between the healthier low-calorie choice versus the one he actually wanted.

“Hi, hello there.” Bradley glances over to see the prettiest pair of eyes looking up at him expectantly. “Do you mind playing along for a few minutes, there’s some creep who keeps trying to bother me.”

He looks over the top of your head to see some guy lingering at the end of the aisle. “The guy who looks like off-brand John Mayer?”

You scrunch your nose up. “That’d be the one.”

“How good are you at picking out ice cream flavors?” he asks, standing up straighter and pulling his shoulders back.

You blink at him in confusion before your lips tick up in a relieved smile. “Very good, as a matter of fact.”

“Great, you came to my rescue just in time.” Bradley guides you closer until you’re in front of him, lightly resting a hand on your hip the way he would if you were his girlfriend. “Is this ok?” he asks under his breath, only loud enough for you to hear.

When you nod, he feels the knot in his chest loosen. Because while he wants this to be convincing to the guy still loitering at the edge of the aisle, he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable.

“First things first, we need to establish a baseline.” You point at the carton covered in cartoony looking chocolate chip cookies. “What’s your opinion on cookie dough?”

“Overrated,” he answers, not missing a beat. “I’d rather just eat the stuff out of a tube instead.”

You lean back into him a bit more. “Ooh, tough crowd,” you tease, your head finding his shoulder. “Ok then, mister tempting-fate-with-salmonella, what’s your stance on the great vanilla bean vs French vanilla debate?”

Bradley takes a quick look around to make sure they’re not blocking any other late night grocery shoppers. He pretends to ponder for a moment before responding, “I like the one with flecks.”

“A dignified choice.” You say it so solemnly that he can’t help but chuckle.

The easy back and forth banter goes on for a few more minutes. Sometimes you rib him about his answers and other times agree. It shouldn’t be so fun standing there in front of the cooler filled with tubs of ice cream, but it is. It was the last thing he could have expected when he’d decided to stop in at the last minute on his way home after hitting up the Hard Deck.

When he tells you the two choices he had been contemplating before you’d come up to him, you hum contemplatively and tap a finger against your cheek, “Well this changes everything if you’re dairy free.”

“Nah, just watching my figure. The containers are smaller and I have a sweet tooth.”

“Respectfully, I don’t think that’s something you need to worry about. You fill out those khakis just fine, if you don’t mind me saying.”

“I don’t mind at all.” Rooster wonders if you can hear his self-satisfied grin. “Not every day I get a pretty girl telling me she was checking out my ass.”

You let out a small, amused scoff and all he feels is pleased with himself.

“I was not checking out your- oh.” The surprise in your voice has him leaning back enough to get a look at your face. “Wait, is he gone?” You peer around his shoulder, but don’t make a move to pull away from the gentle hold he has on you.

“He left around the time you were giving a very impassioned speech about how overlooked spumoni is. I probably should have mentioned it sooner, but you were making a pretty compelling case and I didn’t want to interrupt,” he says, trying to play it off casually and hoping that he didn’t just become the creep in this story when you tell it to your friends later.

“Oh, ok. That’s, um, that’s good.” You sound almost… disappointed? You take a step towards the case and he drops his arm back down to his side, already missing the feel of you under it. “Thank you so much for committing to the bit. Seriously, I truly appreciate it,” you say over your shoulder, opening the glass door.

He rubs the back of his neck, watching as you grab a carton out of the freezer, not sure whether to move on with the rest of his shopping or not. But when you turn back towards him, he’s hit with the full force of your smile, feeling it all the way to his toes.

“Rocky Road,” you say, setting the carton into his cart. “It has peanuts in it, which is a nutrient-dense food and an excellent plant-based source of protein. There’s collagen from the gelatin in the marshmallows. And chocolate has antioxidants in it and is known to trigger the holy trinity of happy brain chemicals. It’s basically a superfood.”

Rooster grins. “I don’t think it works like that.”

“No, unfortunately, it really doesn’t,” you agree, playfully leaning a hip against his cart. “But it’s more fun this way, don’t you think?”

He’s so fucking charmed by you and he doesn’t even know your name yet.

While he’s glad he was there at the right time and got to play a small part in deterring that guy from continuing to hassle you, he kind of wishes the two of you could have met under different circumstances, because he’d jump at the chance of being able to score a date with you. He sighs and shakes the thought out of his head.

“Would you like me to walk you to your car?” Rooster offers, ready to abandon his groceries for a few extra minutes with you.

“Oh wow.” That mischievous gleam that had been in your eyes changes to something softer. You tilt your head, taking him in with a thoughtful expression on your face. “You’re one of those rare genuinely a gentleman types, aren’t you? Like the kind who always walks closest to the curb and mows their elderly neighbor’s yard without being asked.” Bradley just lifts a shoulder. He’s used to looking out for other people, it’s just something he’s always done. “And they say chivalry is dead,” you muse, contemplatively, “I should let you know though, knock-off John Mayer is my ex.”

He feels his hackles rise up immediately and scans the area again to double check the guy isn’t still hanging around. “Is he harassing you?”

“Oh no, it was only an unfortunate fluke, I promise,” you say, patting his hand that’s gripping the handle of the shopping cart reassuringly. “He’s just a jackass who thought he could cheat on me and that I’d still take him back.” Bradley grunts at that, even more irritated than he was before. “But he was still trying to test the waters, even after I told him I was seeing someone,” you continue, with a roll of your eyes, “Which was technically true- even if I am in fact single right now- because that’s when I saw you over here gazing very intensely into the freezer case like you’d been personally victimized by Ben and Jerry.”

“You’re out of his league anyways,” he rasps. 

There’s no way in hell Bradley would fumble a girl like you.

You grin widely, clearly amused at his annoyance on your behalf. “He was a tool with an overinflated ego and a flat ass.” Rooster barks out a surprised laugh. “And you’re so much hotter than him, so I really lucked out there with you as my knight in ironed  khakis,” you say unabashedly, reaching out to straighten out his already perfectly straight name tag. “You really went above and beyond for your country there helping me win the break up.”

“I don’t think you needed me for that part. It’s pretty clear you came out on top.” His eyes dart down to your hand on the cart, like you forgot it was still resting on top of his. “But I was more than happy to help all the same.” He takes a half step closer into your space, deciding just to go for it. “I’m thinking we should keep up the ruse though, you know, just in case he is lurking by the pasta or something.”

You quirk a knowing eyebrow at him. “Is that so?”

“I could also use your professional opinion on cereal. That is if you still have some more shopping to do,” he suggests, nodding to your mostly empty handbasket.

There’s no question that he’s caught your interest, not with the way you’re looking at him. That smile you’re wearing tells a story of its own. “What a coincidence, that just happens to be my forte.”

“I had a feeling you might be the right girl for the job.” Bradley takes your basket from you and sets it in his cart and gestures for you to lead the way.

He learns your name around the same time he does about your hottake on Frosted Cheerios.

And later that night, his groceries are packed away in your fridge as the container of Rocky Road the two of you were sharing melts on your coffee table- the condensation puddling on the marble surface reflecting the credits rolling across the TV screen- as you ride him on your couch. Your hands tightly fisted in his hair and your breathy whines in his ear urging him to fuck you harder and faster until you come with his name in your mouth.

And in the morning, he gets your number over a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

The two of you have been fooling around for a couple of months now.

On the nights Rooster wasn’t fucking you, he was getting himself off to the thought of you and wishing you were in bed with him. You’ve never been to his place, so he doesn’t even have the bonus of that bright citrus scent of you lingering on his sheets on the nights he spends alone.

The sex was great. Mind-blowing. You were loud and enthusiastic and gave just as good as you got. Bradley found your confidence sexy as hell. You were the type of girl who knew exactly what she wanted and he was always up for the challenge of finding new ways to make your back arch and toes curl.

But he was just as much of a fan of the parts that came before and after getting you spasming around his cock.

He liked the way your mind worked. You were always telling him about something interesting you’d read, because you were naturally curious about the world around you. You asked him thoughtful questions about his job and his life in the Navy, but not in the way he was used to from the tag chasers that frequented the Hard Deck. There was no mistaking you were asking because you wanted to know more about him, and not fixated on the shiny sheen of his golden aviator wings.

Rooster has never laughed as much as he has with you. In those moments between catching your sighs with his mouth and waiting for the knock on the door for whatever late-night craving was being delivered, you’d have him laughing and grinning until his cheeks ached.

The closest he’s ever gotten to taking you on a proper date was that one late night drive-thru run when everything on delivery apps were closed. You’d looked like his favorite daydream sitting there under the glow of the streetlamp in the nearly empty parking lot in a shirt of his that he must have accidently left behind after a hook up.

That night was the most real it’s ever felt. And he wanted more nights just like that.

He liked the way you always seemed to have a documentary to recommend for any given topic, he has a list on his phone and has been working his way through them. He liked the way the glasses you wore sometimes seemed slightly too big for your face because it was cute the way you’d constantly push them back up your nose. He liked that you texted in full sentences with complete and proper punctuation.

Bradley could already imagine how tonight would most likely go.

He’d dip out of the party early and come to your place. Your tongue in his mouth and your greedy little hand tugging to get his belt undone before he’d even made it through the door. The two of you going at it until someone has to tap out- which he is smug in the fact that more often than not it’s usually you- now that he knows all the best ways to pull orgasm after orgasm out of you. Sometimes the two of you order in, and other nights you’ll pass a bowl of ice cream or cereal back and forth over the island in your kitchen where he gets to hear you laugh and tease him and tell him about your day. Then do it all over again and once you’re thoroughly spent, he’ll hold you as you fall asleep. And then in the morning he’ll press a kiss to your cheek and take one more look back at you before leaving through the same door he’d shown up at only hours before.

And that was fine for now, but he wanted more of you. He didn’t want to be just a casual hook up, he wanted to date you.

He wanted to be soft launched and hard launched, or whatever it was that Mickey was talking about that night he’d taken his misguided advice and sent the much teased “u up?” text. He wanted to block people in the chip aisle of the grocery store as you talked him into getting some crazy flavor, turning his least favorite chore into the highlight of his week. He wanted knockoff John Mayer to see he got the girl and knew how to treat her right.

He wanted you to be his girl.

“Aren’t you too old to be in a situationship, Bradshaw?” Jake asks, interrupting his thoughts.

“Fuck off,” Rooster grumbles, his eyebrows furrowed and his thumbs still hovering over the screen. A couple minutes have ticked by since your last text as he sits there stewing. He knocks back the remainder of his beer, it’s mostly foam, “I think I’m gonna head out.”

“No, you’re not. Bob hasn’t even performed the dance routine to “Thriller” yet,” Nat says, pinning him to his stool with a look, “Come on, Bradley, just invite her here.” She reaches overs and squeezes his shoulder. “You’ve been seeing her for a couple months now. You’re clearly into her, and you wouldn’t disappear on us as much as you do if she wasn’t into you too. This is a low stakes environment with everything going on and people off having fun doing their own thing. And the two of you can still go and do whatever you’re going to do after.”

“I don’t know, Phoenix, she might dump him when she sees what he’s wearing at a Navy bar on Halloween,” Hangman drawls, unhelpfully, grinning around that damn toothpick.

“Shut it, Bagman,” they both say simultaneously.

“Just throw it out there and see what she says.” Nat slides out of her seat, the beads on her dress scraping against the edge of the stool. “Now, we’re going to let you panic in peace for a few minutes while we get another round.”

“We’re?” Jake asks slowly, deliberately drawing out the word.

“Yep,” she confirms, the look on her face leaving no room for arguments as she tugs him off his seat. “And you’re paying, let’s go.”

Bradley scrubs a hand over his face, but not before he sees Nat punching Seresin in the arm on their way to the bar.

He doesn’t know why he’s so nervous all of a sudden, he’s never had an issue asking girls out before. Not that he’s ever had to work that hard for it, but still.

His knee bounces on the foot rest as he works out what to say. He types out the message and gives it a quick once over and hits send before he can overthink it.

Bradley Bradshaw, 10:42pm: I’d never say no to you or a pumpkin shaped pizza. But I’m actually at a Halloween party right now at the bar near base with some friends. And I’m thinking you should stop by.

Bradley Bradshaw, 10:42pm: I’m sorry it’s a last minute invite, but it’s always a good time and I think you would have fun. I’d like to see you, if “ur up” for it.

He tries not to dwell on the fact he just double texted you, a thing he didn’t know he should be worried about before Fanboy warned him about doing it.

It’s like he’s been hit by lightning the way he shoots up in his seat when he sees those little dots appear on the screen. Rooster holds his breath when they start and stop a few times, each time they disappear and come back again his heart pounds a little harder in his chest.

You, 10:44pm: I’m all in. What’s the address?

All the bubbles from the beer he’d had earlier swarm and rush to his head at once as he drops you a pin.

Nat pushes a shot of bourbon towards him across the table when they return. “Did it go well?”

He nods. “She’s on her way.”

“Good, because you know Halloween is my favorite holiday and your sulking was bringing the vibe down.”

He chuckles, there’s no way he’s beating those whipped allegations now.

She clinks her own shot with his and they throw them back together, the warmth of the expensive tasting liquor sticks behind his sternum.

The next thirty minutes are the longest of Rooster’s life. His head swings to the front door every time it opens, hoping that it’ll be you outlined by the purple, green, and orange string lights.

When he sees you come through the swiftly deflating balloon arch scanning the bar for him, he almost does a double take.

You’ve got on a black and white polka dot top, the cuffs are a flared ruffle that are tied with a bow at your wrist. Your skirt is plain black, but the way it hugs your hips leaves little to the imagination. He can’t even begin to guess what you’re dressed as because other than the night he met you, it’s the most clothes he’s ever seen you in.

Excluding those little silky matching sets you’re usually wearing when he comes over. But those don’t usually stay on too long before they end up on the floor of your living room. Or bedroom. Or kitchen.

He usually has to leave before you, so he’s usually headed out your front door while you’re still wrapped up in one of those fluffy white towels you have. He’s enjoying seeing you here in his favorite bar in that outfit and heading towards him like you’re just as happy to see him as he is to see you.

“Huh, if I'm not mistaken I’m pretty sure that’s what I sent you into work in this morning,” you say, grinning up at him and lightly tugging on the zipper of his flight suit. “Are you supposed to be a Walk of Shame?”

Bradley wraps an arm around you because he can’t help himself. “Please, we all know it’s called the Stride of Pride. It’s never a shame when I get laid.” He presses his fingertips into the swell of the top of your ass before leaning in close, his lips brushing against your ear, “Plus, I didn’t have time to go home and grab my costume because someone lured me back into bed this morning.”

He had to do 200 extra push-ups and stay behind to do paperwork as penance for being late the third time that week, but it was worth it. But by the time he was finished, the sun was already well on its way to setting. If he’d been a bit more forward thinking he would have brought the costume he had planned with him, instead of thinking he’d have time to swing by his house to change. Bradley didn’t think it was too much of a let down for you, not with the way you’re looking at him. It’s that same heated way that tells him you’re remembering your reaction to it the first time you’d ever seen him in it.

“Sounds like poor planning on your part,” you tease, your finger tracing the edge of his nametag. “I can’t believe you’re wearing your work clothes to a Halloween party, Rooster.”

“Ok, funny girl. Tell me then, what’re you supposed to be?” He takes a step back and gives you a blatant once over, taking his time admiring the shape of you from your head to your toes in some wicked looking heels and back up again.

Maybe if things went well tonight, you’d leave them on for him later when he gets you alone.

“That’s for me to know, and for you to spend the night guessing,” you smirk, the curve of your mouth promising mischief. “But I think you’ll like it once you figure it out.”

“Bradshaw, are you going to introduce us to your sexy librarian?” Hangman hollers, waving the two of you over back to the table with his hat. Bradley doesn’t hear as much as he sees the oof that comes out of the blonde when Phoenix sends an elbow into his side.

Rooster glances at you with a raise of his eyebrow and you shake your head. Not a sexy librarian then.

“I take it you know the rodeo clown?”

He tips his head back and laughs, already looking forward to telling Hangman. “I do. And Gracie Lou Freebush over there too.”

You wave over at Nat, gesturing to her costume and mouth obsessed, before turning back to him to ask, “Is that gun real?”

“I’m too afraid to ask,” he jokes, only half kidding. “C’mon let me get you a drink, I have an in with the bartender.”

“Are you trying to show off for me, Bradley?”

“Definitely.” He reaches out and toys with the end of the bow on your sleeve. “Is it working, Leslie Knope?”

You just send him that devastating smile of yours and thread your fingers through his. “I think I'm going to have so much fun with this tonight.”

“But full disclosure, you see Napoleon Bonaparte?” He points over to where Mav is behind the bar wearing tasseled shoulder pads pouring pints behind the bar next to a bedazzled Penny in a white neoclassical style dress. “That’s my godfather and his fiancée.”

You school the surprise on your face quickly. “Bradley Bradshaw, are you a nepobaby?”

“That’s a story for another time.” He chuckles, carefully winding his way around a Fred Flintstone and a Deviled Egg to the bar. “Be warned though, the Blue Slime Sipper is lethal. I had four last year and put on an a cappella performance of the Ghostbusters theme song.”

“Please tell me someone has a video of that,” you laugh.

“I called in every favor I had to get all evidence of that particular performance erased.”

At the bar, you order two Blue Slime Sippers looking the picture of innocence as you admire the giant spider affixed to the top of the bar by the till, even though he knows better.

One for him and one for you.

He briefly introduces you to Penny and Mav, trying to keep it casual. Thankfully, it’s busy enough that there’s not more time for small talk or jokes about the frosted tips he had when he was thirteen.

Their guess at a modern day I Love Lucy was also met with a no.

But he’s pretty sure Mav’s attempt to stealthily shoot him two thumbs up after you get your neon blue colored drinks fails based on the way your lips are pressed together in an attempt to smother the smile that he sees toying at the corners of your mouth.

Over the course of the night, it becomes a game that the rest of the team joins in on as he introduces them to the girl he’s been hung up on for weeks.

You help him kick Payback and Fanboy’s asses at the Eyeball Beer Pong that Penny had set up outside on the deck.

“Damn, Lawyer Barbie has an arm,” Fanboy says, the spring of the Slingy Dog costume sagging sadly between him and Payback, watching as you sink another doodled on ping-pong ball into a cup.

“I think we need a rematch,” Payback countered after their loss, “Flight Attendants have great hand-eye coordination, it’s an unfair advantage.”

Both guesses were met with a no.

When you side with Nat over Death Becomes Her as the best, but most underrated, Halloween movie, she throws her hands up in victory, “Thank you! Finally, someone with good taste… Olivia Pope?”

It’s another no, but he’s happy to see how much fun you’re having with his friends.

Between the riotous costume contest voting, and the one-man performance of “Thriller” that Bob puts on, and the pumpkin tic-tac-toe, Rooster has a lot of fun making his own guesses.

Except for the time he offers up Miss Bliss, he nearly chokes on his Cauldron Cooler when you ask him, “Is that a porn thing?”

Which in hindsight, he probably should have specified from the show Saved by the Bell, that he only knew because he’d been into Tiffani Amber Thiessen as a kid, but he doesn’t get to because you’re too busy delightedly laughing at his near spit-take.

He sticks close to your side, an arm slung over your shoulder or around your waist. There’s a moment when he gets worried he might be smothering you, but then you’d lean your head on his shoulder and he figured you were right where you wanted to be.

The two of you step outside when the Monster Mash smashburger contest starts up, the song following you to the sun-bleached wooden deck.

There are less people out here now, a few people are stationed behind the ping-pong table and others are seated on the picnic tables chatting and swapping stories. Most of his friends had stayed inside to cheer on Coyote’s attempt to hold onto his burger eating crown.

It’s the first time all night that he has you on your own, and while he appreciates how welcoming his friends are with wanting to make you feel included and slipping in more than a few jokes at his expense, he’s ready to have you to himself for a while.

But first.

“Are you ever going to tell me what you’re supposed to be?” He runs a finger along the ruffle down the front of your shirt. “I think I’ve lost count of how many failed attempts I’ve made now and It’s starting to take a toll on my ego.”

“How about this, you tell me what you were supposed to be and then I’ll tell you what my costume is,” you offer, playfully.  

You’re still toying with him like a cat does a string and he doesn’t mind a single bit.

He steps in close, winding an arm around your low back pulling you in close. “James Bond,” he says, enjoying the way your eyes light up.

“Now that’s something I would love to see,” you murmur, running your hand along his arm. “Not that the flight suit isn’t working for me.” He grins smug because he knows exactly how much this flight suit works for you.

Rooster shakes his head amused. “I’ll put it on for you later if you want.” He grins smug because he knows exactly how much this flight suit works for you, but you haven’t seen him in a tux yet. “Now, I’ve been dying to know since the moment you walked in, what are you dressed as?”

You grin, wide and bright, like you’ve been waiting for this all night.

“Your future girlfriend, I thought it was pretty obvious.”

Bradley doesn’t waste a moment bringing both of his hands to your face and getting his lips on yours. A surprised noise escapes from the back of your throat before you’re wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him even closer.

Your full lips soften under his demanding ones, the sensual slide of your lips against his has him desperate for more. His tongue chases after the sweetness of your mouth. He can’t get enough of it.

He can’t get enough of you.

“So I take it, you like my costume then?” you ask against his lips.

“I’m about to go swipe that trophy from Cousin Itt because yours is the best one here by far.” You giggle when he pulls you back in to kiss you again- or tries to. “C’mon, sweetheart, I need you to cooperate here. I’m trying to kiss my girlfriend.”

But then his teeth click against yours because now you’ve got him smiling too.

You skim another soft kiss against his mouth and lean back. “You know, I did have a back-up costume, just in case things didn’t go well.” You put a finger up and twist a little in his arms to rummage in your purse. And when you turn back towards him you’ve got a bright red clown nose on your face.

“Are you kidding me? The only clown here is Seresin.” He chuckles and gently pulls it from off your nose. “I’ve been trying to figure out how lock this down for weeks now. That tux was going to be my ace. It’s about a half size too small, but I figured it might do the trick to make things more official. It’s a good thing I’ve got a girl who knows what she wants.”

“Don’t think you’re off the hook, Bradshaw. I still want to see you in it.”

“I can make that happen. Especially since that means I get to take you home with me tonight.” He drops a kiss on your cheek. “I’ve got an idea about what we can be next year though.”

“It’s not even midnight yet, and you’re thinking about next year?”

Bradley shrugs nonchalantly. “I’m all about playing the long game. Just want to give you something to look forward to.”

“Let’s hear it then,” you say, giving him an expectant look.

“Considering how we met and all, I think contestants from Supermarket Sweep would be a solid choice for us. There’s nothing sexier than some khakis and sweatshirts.”

You look delighted and amused and like his.

“Done. You know I am a big fan of you in a pair of khakis.”

Rooster tugs you to him again needing to taste your grin. He hears a cheer go up inside of the bar, probably for whoever won the contest, but he pretends it’s for him.

After all, he’s the one who got the girl.

Happy Halloween! I'm dropping a smitten Rooster into everyone's candy bucket this year! Thank you for reading!

You can read my other stories here!

taglist:

@gretagerwigsmuse @sehnsuchts-trunken  @callsignspark @notroosterbradshaw @tongue-like-a-razor @laracrofted @ofstoriesandstardust @bradshawsbitch @starryeyedstories @top-hhun-main @startrekfangirl2233 @callsign-viper @teacupsandtopgun @angelbabyange @oneelleandaneye @mizzzpink @cornishkat @alana4610 @20th-centu-fairy-girl @pono-pura-vida @donttouchmycarrots @eg-dr3amer3 @whaledots-blog @a-beaverhausen @hangmanscoming @mandolin22 @theweekndhistorybook @lilpeekabooze @high-bi-imgonnacry @ahintofkiwistrawberry @ruewrote @spiderman-stilinski @jayniebop @my-soulmate-is-mycroft @imaginecrushes @keyrani @chicomonks @artemissunn @mayempress @eddiemunsonreader

[livebloggingdeltarune3and4]

(spoilers below cut)

I'm back again for more Deltarune. Man I've been taking it at the pace I want to but I do wish I could finish the chapters already so I can consume all the fan content and stuff. Ah well

Save file time check: I've nearly spent a day playing this save file :]

I dunno how much I should actually gamble. I wanna have a fair amount of points stored up in case something comes up in the future, but how many do I really need? I might save like... 3000 of them and gamble the rest. It's just, I wanna get all the secrets...... I may be slightly too obsessive about that, though. There's really no way of knowing if I have gotten everything, so I should probably try and accept that I'll miss stuff. That's what youtube videos are for lol

Actually given how many points I still have left (7396) I probably won't even go down to 3k

Anyway here's my gambling:

Very interesting fortune. The chair from Susie's room or??

Hell yeah third Lancer

ExecBuffet but for real this time. Blue "caviar" = pipis spotted 👀

Oh okay so it DOES tell me when there's nothing left to find! Swag, I can move on lol

Where to, though... Well, firstly. I do think, having thought about it, that I'm gonna go do a small genocide route. Just a little one. As a treat?

Tbh that whole thing freaked me out a little lol. It's tripping my Undertale 'do not do violence at all' instincts that tell me I'm gonna get the bad ending. But like. You can't let the perfectionism get you, and it's not like this is the only time I'll get to play the game, and there might only be one ending anyway. And I'm curious what happens! So... murder time I guess.

To be clear, I don't actually think it's gonna lock me into a bad end or anything anyway. It's just the anxious I got

Mannn this section is so scary. Why is it genuinely making me feel anxious even the second time around dude

I've achieved level 2 and now I have... two swords? I'm gonna assume that just means I have a stronger attack stat. What happens now? Also don't like how the music stopped :( Actually hey the ocean noises that are still here are probably significant in some way that is not yet clear

Ohhh it's the leftover

...Shit I know this is a serious situation but now that I have the raft I am filled with the desire to explore the entire ocean again lol. I think I am going to resist that desire and just go up

Hiiiii white islands (<- genuinely scared rn. did you know deltarune is a horror game)

Purple cliffs? Also is that a maze or does it just look like one

Also also this is reminding me of that thing Noelle talked about in the sweepstakes, about the... ice maze or whatever?

The delta rune... actually this is a lot like the door to the ruins in Undertale

Okay so this made me flinch and make a sound I cannot transcribe into letters irl. Agh

...What is the something important? Who's saying this/wrote it into the game? Is the 'you' here me or Kris? Or someone else entirely? So many questions, nothing but a vague sense of dread as an answer

...Well. I still haven't told Tenna we're not doing a fourth round, so I guess I better go do that, and then find out what's on the other side of the door that was being guarded...

I was wondering what they need airholes for and I had a sudden vision of a feral Chaos King trapped in a cardboard box like a raccoon a kid found on the side of the road lol

Susie's expression pffft

Why is he mentioning her in specific though? Hmm maybe I'll find out if I watch the rest of the cutscene lol

HIS FUCKING JUMP-SPIN LMAO

Does she... know something about this? I don't like that expression on her :(

...Can't help but notice we didn't actually tell him we're not doing a fourth round

Fair

I kinda accidentally walked back into the room Tenna's in and his fuckin, sigh-turn around-jumpspin of panic combo absolutely got me lmao

Hunky doody. bro

Alright welp on to the field of doom I suppose

Yup. I still don't like this

Ominous. Also is it just me or is that a Toriel face outline? Or, you know, Asriel maybe.

Hey speaking of. We still haven't seen Toriel. Where's that woman at

Maybe behind the Toriel door

Actually, maybe that door is like... to Toriel's room? Her room is locked in the light world, so this could be that.

Ah I see lol. Shoulda just looked at it

...Nah, actually; I like doing my speculations even if they're immediately disproven :) And hey, I was right about it being Toriel!

Hmmm a 3 digit code... Probably there's not much point trying it right now, I'll just have to find the code somewhere. I will try 413 though because I am a freak :]

Oh huh we have this now though

Heeeeell yeah I get to be Susie again :D

Hm, based on the passageways between rooms, it seems like someone set these screens up wrong. So I'll probably have to switch around the numbers I get to account for that

Okay we got it! 213. I wonder if that means anything?

Ralsei's trying to start another Susie cutscene? Sooner than usual...

Hm

Well... yeah, I think I'm gonna ask Ralsei. I'm more concerned and curious about him than Susie, after all

I told him it's okay to take it easy. Hope he remembers that

I have the feeling. Somehow. That is it not going to be selfish

Aww man that's cute and sad. And also, not selfish

Literally why not

It's like... and this is a weird way of thinking about it but I'm influenced by a fic I've been reading recently lol. It's like, a character that's an AI and doesn't have a physical body. Ralsei can't entirely interact with other people the same way Kris and Susie can. He can't physically exist in the 'real' world, and so... if I have a way to help him kind of 'be there', in a small way, I'd feel like a dick if I didn't.

Also, I can think of one way Ralsei could be at the festival... I dunno if it'd be possible/safe to cover that much space in darkness, though.

Nah man you just need like... accessibility tools. Assistance. Nothing wrong with that

This puzzle is hurting my brain ^^; I hope the next one isn't harder, if there's another one...

Elsa reference

For real though, ominous. And this blowing wind sound effect... where've we heard that before..?

Ohh hi dark fountain lol

Gotchy ball, isn't that what they use in pokemon

Oh hi Toriel lol

She's got a throne in there I think. Chairiel! Of course :]

I mean I was kind of thinking this too, but still, slightly ominous

:/

Uh oh Susie's looking pissed

Oh

...

I will not elaborate.

Well, that quiz was something. I thought maybe I could run down the timer and not pick an option, but I didn't

Anyway, Tenna: world's normalest guy

I really like that sprite

Lol

I wonder how long Tenna's been unplugged? He must've missed a lot of stuff. Does he even know about the divorce? Probably not

Ran down the timer on the second quiz, but I dunno if it really changes much

Yeah I'm still not doing that my man

Your what

Okay welp. That sure was something. That guy needs therapy. And like... friends

[twoforflinching-ktbedition]

[ECHO.EXE RUNNING]

XIII▸ Ah, I don't mind you asking at all! It's more a combination of things really- the lacerations wouldn't be nearly as bad if the blood loss wasn't a factor, vice versa. Lost maybe a little more than half? I've stablised fine enough though so I'm not worried.

XIII▸ I also have... a couple bad fractures that need time to knit back together, too? More than a couple? It's fine. Maaay have gone through a wall, but I'm pretty sure the concussion's gone by now. I was on the ground for this deployment, ended up getting rather personal with someone in an augmented hardsuit. Kept my squad safe though, that's the most important thing.

XIII▸ I am... I'm Armory forces. I don't typically have a consistent deployment, I mostly get thrown about wherever they really need a medic. I'm on the ground most of the time, but- I am a lancer, yes! When I'm needed to be. Funnily enough, I am also a Lancaster pilot- she's my pride and joy. Would be nice if I got to head out in her more, but- ah, shouldn't complain.

XIII▸ Harrison doesn't typically need me in the mech as much, considering how you're more likely to catch a bullet outside all that metal and machinery. But when it's truly dire, they deploy me to keep people running in good shape. I'm something of a repair tech too! Keep people and frames up and running :}

XIII▸It's... I'm busy a lot, for sure. Part of why I'm impatient to get back out there; but it's not up to me right now. I'm not allowed out of my room yet, let alone back to the field. So- means a lot to me, you're willing to talk like this. I don't have a lot of stuff I can personally talk about that's not the battlefield. It's... kind of been my life?

XIII▸... that sounds bad. I don't mean it that way, it's just- it's what I've always done.

XIII▸ Regardless- if I may ask, how did you end up in the Baronies? It seems quite a far cry from the Union :}

[Unsigned]

//

Christ-the-Buddha, I stand fuckin’ corrected. You went through a fucking wall? I’m surprised you ain’t chompin’ at the bit to get off that rock and go the fuck home. Figure the Armory doesn’t let their soldiers go that easy, though.

I’m gonna keep my personal feelin’s on the Armory outta this, since you’re a good kid and it ain’t your fault you ended up on the side you did. Not like any side of that fuckin’ war’s any better than the other. Fuck ‘em both, that’s what I say.

Ah, a good ol’ Lannie pilot! Fuckin’ love those trucks. Anything IPS-N is worth it in my correct opinion. Built like a damn old-world Nokia, those things are, and the Lannie keeps ‘em together even fuckin’ more. You must be a damn celebrity out there, a medic and a mechanic.

I get not havin’ much to talk about that ain’t the battlefield. I’m a career soldier, my family were all career soldiers, I come from a long line of Lancers been deployed from the core to the Dawnline Shore. Was my life for the longest time, still kinda is as a pankrati.

Take care of yourself, though, kiddo. From the way you’re talkin’ you ain’t givin’ yourself the kinda consideration that someone as important to the fight as a medic/mechanic needs. What happens to your squad if you go down and now they ain’t got no support? Goin’ through a wall is no fuckin’ joke. Listen to your docs, you ain’t a damn “repair tool,” you break way more fuckin’ easy.

How’d I end up in the Baronies? Well, damn, that’s a long fuckin’ story. The short version is that you do not fuck with the House of Stone, especially not when it comes to manna.

The long story… I dunno how much the good Suzerain Sarthis wants me runnin’ my mouth about it while the case is ongoing, but the vague outline is that I got myself into some damn deep debt gambling on pankrati matches, fucked over a House of Stone asshat, then got fucked over in return. Ended up an indentured servant to the minor house of Belisario within the House of Stone, then got my contract bet on a pankrati match and lost to House Sarthis. The transfer’s still goin’ on, though, so the legalese is fuckin’ complicated.

Keep in touch, kiddo, I… I need a distraction right now.

[may-be-a-plant]

Ezra's Gamble Notes Pt.1

Friends, I was not expecting the book 'Ezra's Gamble' to be such a goldmine of lore. 😭 I'm gonna need to talk about this in multiple posts.

What I've got so far:

-----SPOILERS------

First of all, the foreword: "For Alan Harris, who is a much nicer fellow than Bossk." Harris was Bossk's actor. ❤

The book takes place pre-Spark of Rebellion

We literally start the book with Ezra at the Lothal spaceport pickpocketing and finessing people out of their valuables.

He walks up to a rich-looking Chagrian wearing an Imperial pin and being followed by four blue Twi'leks and manages to sell him 5 tickets for a private booth at a gladiatorial cage match (that the Chagrian is implied to want to keep secret). Ezra finesses him out of 700 credits, then also steals his Imperial pin, his ring, wrist-comm and half his money pouch.

He winks at one of the Twi'leks and all of them giggle, one of them winks back at him. (He's 14)

He meets up with a Xexto named Ferpil Wallaway who is actually the one who taught Ezra how to steal!!

The cage-match ticket money gets sent to the commissioner, then Ferpil pays Ezra for his loot at the Pawn-shop he owns on Lothal.

Ezra gets flagged down by a red-haired friend (also 14) named Moreena Krai. Her family is leaving Lothal because Imperials condemned their farm and took it from them.

Y'all I was not ready when she said she was moving to Alderaan. 😭🥺

Moreena starts to get sad about Ezra being alone, Ezra cuts her off and says "Don't ever feel sad for me. I've always done just fine on my own, and I always will." BOY TELL THAT TO HERA. 💚

He briefly wonders if he'll ever get to steal a TIE pilot helmet. (Spoilers, he does lol)

Lore for Bossk: his ship 'Hound's Tooth' is a modified Corellian Engineering Corporation YV-666 freighter. He's employed by the Bounty Hunter Guild and his Imperial Peace-keeping Certificate number is #55946112.

Bossk was headed to Lothal searching for a Dug named Gronson "Shifty" Takkaro who was wanted for jumping bail in the Ahakista System.

Bossk picked up the bounty from the Imperial Enforcement DataCore.

Bossk's ship was scanned by the Imperial Spaceport and the official talking to him immediately transferred his call to ISB HQ. (He was on hold for 30 seconds.)

ISB Lieutenant Herdringer talks to him and tries to send Stormtroopers to arrest Shifty rather than let Bossk collect.

Bossk counters saying Herdringer would be interfering with the authorized acquisition of a government bounty. Herdringer realizes that would be bad for him.

Herdringer actually wants Bossk to not use firepower as Shifty is in a civilian sector. Bossk says okay, but still brings his Mortar gun. Bossk gets escorted to the spaceport by TIE fighters which Bossk thinks is WAY too conspicuous.

This random academy propaganda played on a speaker at the spaceport though: "You too can be a part of the Imperial family! Don't just dream about applying for the Academy, make it come true! You can find a career in space: Exploration, Starfleet, or Merchant Service. Choose from Navigation, Engineering, Space Medicine, Contact/Liason, and more! If you have the right stuff to take on the universe, and standardized examination scores that meet the requirements, dispatch your application to the Academy Screening Office, care of the Commandant (Aresko), and join the ranks of the proud!" ---(I wonder how Kallus felt about hearing that kind of stuff, I'm assuming his office was soundproofed, but he did still technically work in the same building as the school, and seemed used to having things delivered to him by cadets, im sure he heard it occasionally.)

Ezra knew what a Trandoshan was on sight. He tried sneaking up on Bossk's ship, but Bossk snuck up on him first.

Bossk appeared to be avoiding his stormtrooper escort and asked Ezra (who actually gave his real name!) Where the tavern he was looking for was.

He's very suspicious of Ezra and warns him against snooping in his ship and notices his weapon right away. "An energy slinghot. Cute."

Ezra tries to finagle 100 credits out of Bossk for information. Bossk says he doesn't have time to haggle and will give him 1000 credits for help. Ezra demands 500 up front and Bossk pays him. He also politely gives Ezra his name.

He only refers to Ezra as "Shorty" and insists that "to you, its MR. Bossk" lol.

--------

Will continue to take notes, this is fun!!

[reneissanceee]

Shifting storytime:HxH DR

Long story short, I have successfully shifted! So here I am telling stories about my HxH DR

Training with Bisky

I shit you all not, this woman is absolutely going for my throat when it comes to training. If you have watched HxH, you probably have seen how Biscuit Krueger or Lady Bisky trains Gon and Killua, in the 7 years I have trained with her, my training is WAAAAAYYYY worse than what I expected and saw initially in the series. My power (Nen) has something to do with the abilities of the Cheshire Cat (Alice In Wonderland) and I needed to perfect my disguise as an actual cat. This mf made my ass parkour on trees and high ass cliffs the whole 3 month, 4/5 times and 4 hours each a day. By the end of the day, I'm literally sweating my holy ass off. My next course in this mentally and physically challenging training was stealing fish in the market for my food. When she first told me about the new practice in the routine, i was like (???). It was easier said than done, vendors were chasing me with wooden pods or bats, i dont know whats it called, my furry ass hairs were literally standing up! Next training routine was like being liquid and when she said liquid, lowkey i was confused, what she meant was me squeezing into tight spaces and I swear to you, i did not enjoy it one bit. Like sneaking sneaking shit, ya know? I had to squeeze into the walls, pipes i kid you not, i only go for the bigger ones where i can actually squeeze. Another routine was socializing with cats, bro, i love cats and was pretty excited to see the world from a cat's eye but it was way more complicated than just a bunch of meow meows. Some had beef with me, tried to scratch me, stole my food (its sooooo hard to steal fish as a cat) but some are nice, following me and smelling me. Thats all i remember so far.

Killua and Gon

So i love these kids to death, lol. Gon is so positive to everything its actually crazy, he has me rethinking about lots of stuff. I shit you not though, they are noisy as fuck. Their dynamic is entertaining, one minute ill be sitting on the couch, doing nothing and they'd be arguing over the dumbest, kid shit, I had to stifle my laughter. Did i mention they eat a lot and chip my money a little too fast? Im rich as hell but just looking at our table turned buffet, it worried me way too fast. During their training, id only watch them and cant help but be impressed, theyre such strong kids for their age and they really are striving hard to be strong individuals. I did observe that Killua is more stronger and faster than Gon, but he still makes up for it by catching up. Not gonna lie, i got way too jealous of how strong they were, it always looked as if they were stronger than me and theyre barely teens yet, when I was their age, I was barely breathing during just one lap of running around

(Honorable mention) Palm Siberia's creepy ass

Oh my fucking god, she scared the holy shit out of me, mate. I swear to god, she was all up in my ass hairs during Gon and Killua went to fight Knuckle. Me and Bisky would be drinking tea on the couch and id feel a presence behind me. When I tried to sleep, i felt her ass lurking, it was like sleep paralysis which was scarier since i could move and it was real. "They'll keep their promise, right? RIGHT?" SHE WENT UP ON MY FACE I SCREAMED SO LOUD

(Honorable mention) Neferpitou

She scared me so bad yall. The aura was so URGH it was so full of malice, i couldnt bring myself to actually fight her. I retreated and when i got home, i vomitted. Can I mention she was way too good into getting in my nerves? I was shaking with so much anger and she wouldnt stop. She terrified me the same way, if not much, as Palm did. I was lowk going crazy and was almost in tears just cause of the rage like warahell.

Chrollo Lucifer

(scripted their gangs dont kill, just steal) this one was waaayyy too juicy. I have this legal gambling den as my way of income, and I saw this ssssoooooaaaaappppeeeerrrr handsome fella who was a regular in the den. I had a bit of infatuation towards him cause he was soooooo charming, like toooooo charming. He was blonde, super tall like 5'8 to 6'1, blue eyes, he was always dressed in very crisp black or dark blue suits and silver bayonetta type glasses, id mistake him for someone who works in corporate. So one day, I was the dealer in one of his games, it was super fun, i had fun messing with the players actually. After his game, he asked me out we went out for drinks. I got to know him for a bit, he introduced himself as "Ronin" (my dumbass realized too late it was a fake name cause he was just so charismatic, my survival instincts went all the way down). He said he worked as an accountant nearby, hence the fancy attire. He was super regal, such a gentleman too, ffs, I fall in love way too fast for my own good and i did just that. He drove me back home and when I was just about to enter my house, we kissed (was internally screaming my ass off cause to be fair it would be the first kiss, MY first kiss cause my lips are in dry season since birth in my CR). We bid each other goodnight and I went inside. And the weeks go by and we kept seeing each other, but I was getting more and more suspicious that i didnt even pass by him in the morning, only at nighttime at the den, he doesnt talk much about work and would rather listen to me talk about myself (i would note it was more than just kissing and holding hands by the 4th month, well yk, bed creaking and stuff, i dont need to say it lmao, mind you my back is always sore and i could barely walk by the morning). By like our 5th month or so, i wanted to ask him about him cause he isnt giving me so much info, he gave me so much limited answers, sometimes even outright ignoring the question and changing the subject but i was sooooo smitten by him i left it alone (i know, im this way in my CR as well). Few more months of seeing each other, we got more closer and closer, more intimate id say, when the months flew by, i was in the den more and more just to see him (i only used to visit the den twice or thrice a week, i was also late to notice that he never really brought me back to his house, sometimes we only checked into hotels). By the 16th month, i decided to call it quits cause I felt and expressed he wasnt too open to me and it almost felt like he was hiding something from me (actually what was I expecting, my dumbass got played even in a DR). I was flabberghasted by the way he responded to what i said, he transformed into Chrollo Lucifer in front of my mfing eyes, my eyes widened. "I'll be more open to you now" he says and I was all "what the fuck" inside my head. Kid you not my mouth was just agape as fuck cause what do you mean i did THAT to THE Chrollo Lucifer???? But knowing Chrollo, I then checked my Nen to see if he stole it. Motherfucker just chuckled at me and just said "I didn't take anything from you." as he annoyingly nonchalants his suit draping over his shoulder, istg i was almost losing it. I was just so flabberghasted, bro had to used his finger to close my mouth and said his fuckass corny farewell, said along the lines of "I enjoyed your companionship while it lasted" then kissed my cheek, turning away and just poof, disappeared. When i got home, i had this small spider tattoo thingy by my rib, i could not for the life of me remove it.

The storytimes with each character ends here for now, enjoy this with shits and giggles

[themaskstayson]

Part three of the Wyll origin run

Ah man, this is a lot. I haven't had Gale so excited to talk to me since my first playthrough 500 hours ago it's kind of cute ngl

I'm thinking about Wyll being emo during the party cause the little scene is one of my favorites, and trying to cheer him up from his body dysphoria(?) but I also really, REALLY, enjoy the idea of Wyll stuffing his feelings down to make everyone happy since he can't be emo by the river since he's the party lead. Wyll is trying to keep the team morale high and then when he's alone in his bed he just cries to sleep. Cause, let's be real, no one is mentally capable to help each other when the player is the therapist.

Also, his funny lines are pretty good and I have been picking every single option to have Wyll just laughing the pain away.

So, we saved Karlach, asked her if she had any advice on horn care since I feel like that's a WAY better route to go instead of Wyll being depressed during the party when you are Tav amd makes more sense since Wyll is gonna mingle.

(Side rant: People say Wyll sucks because he's insensitive but like, come on. He's a DEVIL not tielfing! I think he's allowed to express how he feels uncomfortable in his new DEVIL body. "But tielfings have horns!" yeah okay but they straight up saw Wyll as a human like two days ago, they know something is fishy with the sulfer smell coming off him. You gonna say there's no difference??? Now THAT is insensitive /hj lol)

I also went to the Rest and Counsellor Florrick asked what the hell happened and once again Wyll joked that he was running with the wrong crowd. Unfortunately that backed fired and she said she knew since his father informed them which damn. Ulder is talking mad shit about his own son, that's crazy. Felt bad and then she had the audacity to demand my help???? Like I was gonna give it but damn.

Anyways, I was hoping to get to level 5 before the Goblin Camp but I didn't. So, we gambled it. Had Gut give me the sleep potion and got assistance for that. Knocked Minthara out cause I'm STILL trying to get that girl without being a bad guy. Then fought Ragzlin which.... that was rough. Gale did die but luckily his deas body did some damage to a goblin and Ragzlin. I usually cheese the fight but idk I decided not to this time around for some reason.

STILL not sure who imma romance. Flirted with Gale at the party, which was cute. I am leaning towards him cause I gotta stop romancing Astarion and Wyll all the time. And despite being a huge wyllstarion fan, Gale is doing something to my current need for a cute romance. Plus my other game I am romancing Astarion and Wyll (two Tav game yippee) so I should romance someone new. Karlach did not try to put the moves on me and I am not putting the moves on her so rip. First time ever Shadowheart and Lae'zel are meh about me, which is weird. I'll figure it out the next time I play but might be joining the Gale/Wyll club. I should find some fics to get into the mindset.

Also if anyone is reading these I should mention this is a modded custom game. Meaning I am using the mod honor feature unlock so i can have the playstyle with multiple saves, playing in a custom game that I cannot see the NPC HP, gave the NPC 100% more HP compared to the game 30% more. I want the multiple saves for story stuff cause I'm still trying out new lines but also I need the combat to be harder.

Honour Feature Unlock

Tactician Plus (best for party limit begone tbh this file I'm doing just 4 to a party tho but in other files with everyone, I use the 150% HP)

[kiddoryder]

A Gemini Birthday

It's Sonya and Liz's birthday and things sure do happened!

A commisson for @dustinlaughlin as Hardy Wiley belongs to him

Blitz and Sophie McKnight belong to @loli-momo1908

At the hotel Charlie and the others were in a lobby for a meeting. Charlie stood in the middle of the lobby and said:  

Charlie - “Okay guys! So I was thinking that for our redemption lessons, we would go on a trip. So any ideas?”

Angel - “How about-“

Vaggie - *interrupts* “Somewhere that ISN'T sexual-related, Angel”

Angel - *went back on his phone* “Then I got nothing.”

Husk - “We can go to a casino. I know some good places.”

Vaggie - “How’s that supposed to be a bonding experience?”

Husk - “We win as much money we can and split it evenly. But I get a little more since it’s my idea.”

Charlie - *unsure* “Uhhh, okay, does anyone else have any ideas? Maybe something more safe?”

Sir Pentious - “Maybe we can go to the museum? I love seeing the weapons they have there.”

Angel - “Snoresville, museums are for nerds and old people.”

Sir Pentious - “Oh please! I go to museums all the time. Does that make me old and nerdy?”

Angel - “Actually yes.”

Charlie - “Actually a museum trip doesn’t sound like a bad idea,”

Angel - *moans* “Seriously?! Do we have to learn stuff too? Isn’t that what tv and phones are for?”

Charlie - “Come on Angel it’s not that bad. Now let see when can we go.”

Charlie looked at her phone in the calendar app, and saw a big red dot on the 25th. She clicked on the dot and it said Sonya and Liz's birthday. Her eyes widened in shock. 

Charlie - *shocked* “Sonya and Liz's birthday is next week?!”

Angel - *surprised* “Wait, what?! The twirts' birthday is coming next week?!”

Niffty - “Ooh I love birthdays! You get really good presents!”

Angel - “Yeah, not to mention cake!”

Sir Pentious - “And the balloons!” 

Charlie - *frantic* “Oh man, what kind of cousin am I?! How can I forget my own baby cousin's birthday?! I always celebrate their big moments like their first loose tooth, first day of school, first magic power, etc.”

Vaggie - *comforting* “Charlie calm down, we still have some time to plan something out for them. Trust me, whatever you plan out for them, they are gonna love it.”

Charlie - *calms down* “You're right, you're right. *deep breath* Okay, change of plans, everyone. We're going to plan Sonya and Liz's birthday. Does anyone have any suggestions?”

Husk - “We can take them to the casino to celebrate.”

Vaggie - *annoyed* “Husk, they are too young for that.”

Husk - “So? They are close to their manhood.”

Charlie - First of all Husk, they are little girls. Second, Uncle Azrael and Aunt Zella would NEVER approve of their kids going gambling. Let alone drinking alcohol.” 

Sir Pentious - “Ooh! What about an opera?” 

Angel - *deadpanned* “Pentious, it’s their birthday, not death sentence.”

Charlie - “Yeah, Sonya and Liz are not really into Opera. Plus, they've been banned from going there after that fiasco they caused to make it *finger quotes* more exciting.”

Niffty - “Ooh! Ooh! What about a club that has a lot of bad boys? Thats a perfect way to celebrate.” 

Vaggie - “Guys! Aren’t you forgetting that Sonya and Liz are kids? We gotta do something kids like.”

Then the door opened and it was Hardy who got back to the store with Blitz and Sophie while the little bat girl was eating an ice cream cone. 

Hardy - “Hey guys, we're back from shopping, and we managed to grab everything that everyone requested on the list.”

Charlie - “Thank goodness you guys are here! We need your help.”

Blitz - “What’s wrong?”

Charlie - “Sonya and Liz birthdays are next week and we don’t have anything planned out for them.” 

Sophie - “Maybe you should ask them.”

Charlie - “We tried that many times before in her previous birthdays, but she never answered. Frankly, I don’t know why I mean whenever we go to a party, it’s always a blast.”

Blitz - “Guess they don’t see it as a big deal since it’s not a milestone.”

Hardy - “Maybe, or maybe there's a different reason. Like me, I don't celebrate my birthdays often because I was always too busy helping and serving the community.”

Angel - “You don’t get out much do ya?”

Hardy - *offended* “Yes I do! Didn't you hear what I said?”

Blitz - “He's teasing you, Hardy.” 

Sophie - “Maybe we can throw Sonya and Lizzie a surprise party?”

Charlie - “If that's the case, what kind of surprise party should it be?”

Vaggie - “Maybe something they like?”

Charlie - “Yeah, but it has to be something that they both like equally. Don't forget, even though they're twins, and very close with each other, they have different likings. Sonya likes reading and gardening. Liz likes sports and roller skating. It has to be something that they both can enjoy.”

Blitz - “You know, you could ask them but not mention the party.”

Charlie - “Oh, not me, she knows me too well. She will know that I'm trying to do something for her birthday and will try to avoid it... Unless… *gets an idea*  What if one of you guys asks her on my behalf?”

Hardy - “You can leave it to me. Since Sonya, Liz and I don’t really hang out much.”

Charlie - *relief* “Really? Ah, thanks Hardy. Now remember to be subtle and not try to mention anything about her birthday, okay?”

Hardy - *smiles* “You got it.”

Charlie - “In the meantime, we should set up the party like with the balloons and stuff.”

Husk - “I'll go sharpen my magician skills to wow him.”

Angel - “I'll contact Cherri and have her  join in.”

Vaggie - “Wait! No makeup stuff for them, Angel.”

Angel - *whines* “Aw! That would have been a perfect gift gag for her. Why you gotta be a buzzkill.”

Vaggie - “She's a tomboy, Angel. You know how she is. She would like books or maybe video games.”

Sophie - “You think she would like a drawing I would make for them, Vaggie?”

Blitz - *smiles* “I'm sure they will love it, sis.”

Charlie - “Ooh! We gotta invite her friends and parents too.”

Everyone spreads out and start getting to work in setting up Sonya's birthday.

Hardy - “Well, I better go see what the girls are up to. *to Charlie* Say Charlie, do you know where they are now?”

Charlie - “Probably at the library. Sonya love to go there.” 

Hardy - “Figured since she loves to read.”

()()()()()()()()()

At the library, Sonya was reading some books. Liz however, instead of reading some books, she was actually stacking some books like a tower. 

Liz - “Sis check it out! I’m almost done making this into a house.”

Sonya - *sighs* “Sis, that's really nice and all, but have you ever considered trying reading a book for once, instead of just comics?”

Liz - “Hey it’s not my fault some of these books are super lame and boring.”

Sonya - “No, but it is for judging a book by its cover, instead of actually checking out what's in it.”

Liz - *dismayed* “Man you’re sounding like Dad right now.” 

Sonya - “Well he is a very wise man.”

Liz - *mutters to herself* “More like a nag.”

Then the door opened and it was Hardy who walked up toward them.”

Hardy - “Hey girls!” 

Sonya - “Oh hey Hardy. What’s up?”

Hardy - “Nothing, just seeing what you girls are up to. I see you are reading books, huh?”

Liz - *points to sonya* “The nerd is. I’m just trying to find a way to keep myself busy.”

Hardy - “Ah come on, Liz. There's a lot of amazing adventures within these books that you may have never heard of before. Like one of my favorites, The Journey to the West. A story about a mischievous monkey born from stone and goes on an epic quest for immortality and enlightenment while battling demons and Chinese gods with his cunning martial arts and incredible magic abilities.”

Sonya - *intrigued* “Ooh sounds interesting!”

Hardy - “Yeah. I’ll tell you the rest later. I came here because I was thinking of spending the day with you two.”

Sonya - “Really? Why?”

Hardy - “Because... *thinking of an excuse* I like to know more about you two. I feel that we haven't gotten to know enough about each other.”

Liz - “Really? That's odd because we know a whole lot about you.”

Sonya - “Yeah, you're a fan of Jackie Chan.”

Liz - “You like rock music.”

Sonya - “You learned kung fu long before he came down here.”

Liz - “We often find you passed out and your face all red from watching Angel's movies, which neither our parents or Charlie allow us to watch for whatever reason they won't explain.”

Hardy's cheeks turned red from hearing this, as he scratched the back of his head and chuckled in embarrassment with a sweat drop appearing on his temple.

Sonya - And you can eat a lot and I mean a lot- 

Hardy - “Right. But don’t you think it would be fair if I knew a little more about you girls? I mean, you sometimes stay over at the hotel even having your own rooms.”

Sonya - “That is true.”

Hardy - “So come on. We can go out and get snacks.”

Liz - “Sounds good to me, I am starving from being cramped up in here. I lost track of time for how long we've been sticking around in this shabby old dump.”

Sonya - *annoyed* “We have only been here for half an hour. *to Hardy* Please excuse Liz since she’s a drama queen.”

Liz - *annoyed* “Hey!”

Sonya - “Well, you are!”

Hardy - “Girls, girls. Let's not fight over silly things. Come on, I will treat you guys with some good food that I know personally close by.”

Sonya - “Alright, sounds awesome.” 

Back at the hotel, Charlie was calling Sonya and Liz’s friends. She first called Rimire and explained everything to her.  

Charlie - *on the phone* “That’s right! A big birthday party! But we're gonna surprise them.”

Rimfire - “Crikey, sounds like a blast! I'll be sure to score a big gift for the twins!”

Charlie - “Oh that’s perfect! Thank you so much.” 

Rimfire - “No worries, mate. I'll be there

Charlie ends the call and goes to check on how the others are doing. 

Charlie - “How is the decoration going?”

Niffty - “Almost done cleaning! But the bugs are stubborn. But don’t worry about it,  I’ll take care of it!” 

She giggled manically and got out the knives. She began to tried to stab at some of the bugs. But then Charlie gently grab Niffty’s wrists. 

Charlie - *interrupts* “Um, Niffty, please use bug spray instead of knives for a while. Hardy's still patching up the last holes you left with them. “

Niffty - *pouts* “Well alright. But it will be less fun though.”

Charlie - “Okay now we need the balloons.”

She sees the Egg Bois trying to blow balloons but keeps failing. Or when they try to put them up, they will fall and the balloons float to the ceiling. Pentious just facepalm in annoyance. 

Charlie - *calling Blitz* “Hey Blitz, Pentious's eggs could use some help with the balloons!”

Blitz - “Hold on! Gotta work on the cake.”

Blitz continued mixing the cake batter with an electronic egg beater until it was nice, creamy, and smooth. Then he grabbed the bowl and put it on the counter. 

Blitz - “Okay look good enough. Now to get the cake pans.”

Blitz went to the cabinet to get out the cake pans. But then he sees Fat Nuggets on the counter eating some of the batter. 

Blitz - *dismayed* “Nuggets, no! *shoos him away* Don't eat the batter! *calls to Angel* Angel, did you forget to feed your pig? I caught him gorging the batter.”

Angel - “Oh yeah! I told him he can have a treat.” 

Blitz - *annoyed* “Well you should have told him to eat something else! Now I’ve gotta make more cake batter.”

Angel - *rolls his eyes* “You can still use it, it's not like he ate all of it.”

Blitz - “It's still not enough to make the right size. Just keep Nuggets away from the cake, okay?”

Angel - “Oh alright *picks up Fat Nuggets* Come on Nuggies, Daddy will give you some yummy cookies.”

With Angel and Fat Nuggets gone, Blitz started making more cake batter. Charlie was a little nervous things are getting a little messy, but knows that things will get fixed right away. 

()()()()()()()()

Meanwhile with Hardy and the twins, he didn’t want things to be too quiet since they were at a little diner waiting for some food

Hardy - “So uh…any plans next week?”

Sonya - “We're still working on it, haven't thought of anything yet.”

Liz - *shrugs* “Yeah we would probably watch a movie and eat pizza or other junk food.” 

Hardy - *surprised* “Really? That’s it? Nothing special?”

Sonya - “Nope, nothing at all. Why do you ask?”

Hardy - “Oh, uh, nothing special. Just thought you would want to do something big next week.”

Sonya - “Why?”

Liz - *teasing* “Yeah? Do you have a hot date or something?”

Hardy - *surprised* Oh no, nothing like that. You know me, I focus more on my friends and martial arts training than any of that. I was simply curious.”

Sonya - “*chuckles* “Oh man you gotta do more than just kung fu stuff dude.”

Hardy - * mildly insulted* “I do too! I do lots of things like helping the community, reading books, supporting your cousin, solving cases, bodyguarding others, and so much more. It may not sound exciting to you guys, but it is a living thing to me.”

Sonya - *rolls her eyes* “Sure, whatever you say.”

Liz - “Man where the food? I’m starving.”

Then all of a sudden a couple of tough looking demons came up to Hardy and the twins. 

Tough Demon 1 - “Okay you two get lost! We wanna eat.”

Sonya - “Get lost assholes!”

Hardy - “Sonya please, *to the demons* look, there are many other tables, why not sit there?”

Tough Demon 2 - “Yeah but we want this table. Get out!”

Sonya - “How you like the silverware being forced down your throat!”

Tough Demon 3 - *laughs* “Look at the little tyke thinking her little fists can do any damage to us strong men.”

Sonya - “My fists maybe not be that strong, but I have one word to say. 

visio nocturna!”

Tough Demon 1 - “What the hell was that? Did you swear at us in Spanish or-“

Then all of a sudden, the tough demons eyes turned purple and they began to scream in pain. Everybody in the diner looked surprised or simply didn’t care. Sonya and Liz fist bump each other in pride while Hardy looked a bit uncomfortable. The tough demons ran out of the diner and into the streets. 

Hardy - “Uhh…Sonya, what did you do to them?”

Sonya - “Oh don’t worry about it. It is a spell I did that made them see their worst nightmares. It wears off after a few hours. Plus you always tell me and Liz to never use our fists or magic  unless something is important.” 

Hardy - “Well…Those guys were rude and bothersome. And the spell you did does seem kind of harmless.”

Sonya - “Unless you don’t count the trauma. Which is my favorite kind of torture on horrible assholes.”  

Hardy - *chuckles nervously* “R-Right. 

*sees the waiter* Oh look, here it comes.”

Waiter - *flat tone* “Here you go enjoy your food.” 

Liz - *under her breath* “Yeah enjoy working at a dead end job.”

The waiter simply huffed as he walked off. As they began to eat, Hardy said:

Hardy - “So uhh…Umm *tried to think of a good way to make Sonya and Liz remember their birthday* "How close are you two when it comes to Charlie?”

Liz - *confused* “Uh, we're her cousins. We hang out with her all the time. You should know this dude.”

Sonya - *worried* “Are you alright dude? Did you hit your head and lose your memory?”

Hardy - “What? Pssh, no. Of course not. Just umm...*tried to think of something* 

I actually…wanted to know stuff about Charlie so I figured it best to go to you guys.” 

Sonya - “Us?”

Hardy - “Yeah I mean she is busy with her hotel and stuff so it would be hard.”

Sonya - *weird out* “Okayyyyy...*thought of something* Wait a second, Hardy?”

Hardy - “Yeah?”

Sonya - “Do you... Have a crush on my cousin?”

Hardy - *eyes bug out and makes a WTF expression* “Huh?!”

Liz - “Well do like to spend time with her and now your asking things about her. So do you have the hots for her?”

Hardy - *flustered* “Whhhhaaaatttttt?! Pffff, no, no. Of course not, why would I have a crush on her? I mean, don't get me wrong, she's extremely pretty and absolutely nice, and I really believe in her faith in redemption, but come on, she's already taken. I would never steal  her away from Vaggie. That would be like breaking her trust, you know? I would never intervene with what they've got. *continues rambling*

()()()()()()()()()()

Meanwhile Charlie was calling another of Sonya’s friend Frostbite and his foster sister Raina. 

Frostbite - “Ooh a birthday huh? That sounds awesome. Hopefully you guys got some good snacks and not crappy ones. Can’t stand those health cleaning ones.”

Charlie - *nods* You bet we have awesome snacks. We've got all the essentials for an awesome birthday party.”

Frostbite - “Raina asks if the party is gonna have some plants?”

Charlie - *chuckles* “Yes we are. I can see she’s still talking to nature but I know she’s taking baby steps.” 

Frostbite - “Alright. I’ll be there and so will Raina.”

Charlie - Good! Tell Raina about it too. I know she’s still trying to figure out how phone works.”

Frostbite - “You got it. We'll see you there.”

Frostbite hangs up the phone. Then Charlie heard Vaggie and Niffty arguing.

Vaggie - *strictly* “Niffty no! You can’t hang dead rats as decorations. It’s disgusting.”

Niffty - “How else can I warn their children to not come to the party unannounced?”

Charlie comes in.

Charlie - “What's going on?”

Vaggie - “I’m trying to get Niffty not to put dead things like rats on the wall”

Niffty - “But it will let the children know that they don’t need to worry about pests!”

Charlie - *unsettled* “Niffty, why I appreciate your creative idea, but can we use mouse traps instead, please?”

Niffty - *exctited* “Ooh yeah! I can even leave a head out for the other rats!”

Charlie - *frantic* “No-no-no. No need for that. Just...Use rodent repellent and regular mouse traps instead.”

Frank - “Surpsised!”

Sir Pentious - *annoyed* “No! They aren’t here! You have to wait! How many times did I have to tell you?!”

Egg Boi - “Uhh…Around 18 times, boss.”

Egg Boi 16 - “Merry Sinsmas!”

Egg Boi 23 - “No no it’s valentine day!”

Sir Pentious facepalms himself and moans in annoyance. 

Charlie - “Don’t worry we will work on that.”

Charlie goes to check on Husk to see how he's doing with his magician act.

Charlie - “How the trick going?”

Husk - “Huh? Oh, I'm still trying to perfect some things. By the way I made some punch.”

Charlie - “Ooh some fruit punch! It perfect for the kids.” 

Husk - “Wait, you wanted it for the kids? Can they drink vodka with punch?”

Charlie - “Uh, no. Why?”

Husk - *nervously* “Uhh…I better go make a different punch.”

Charlie - *sighs* “Yeah, you do that. Okay I better work on getting the gifts for the twins. But what to buy her? Hmmmmm....*thinks of what present to get for the twins* It needs to be something perfect to wow them!!”

()()()()()()()()()

Meanwhile back at the diner, Hardy kept  rambling on and on about why he doesn’t have a crush on Charlie. Not realizing the twins were getting bored and already finished their meals.

Hardy - “I mean, I just love Charlie like a sister. I mean she quickly accepted me for who I am. She always supports me whenever I’m feeling down, and I’m not that good at romance stuff anyway. I mean, I’m not that good enough for Charlie anyway. I mean what can she ever see in me anyway?”

Liz - *whispers to Sonya* “We ask him a simple question and he gives us an freaking essay.”

Sonya - *whispers to Liz* I know, right? I think he's trying to dig up something from us, but what could it be?”

Liz - *whispers* “Maybe our embarrassing secrets?”

Sonya - *whispers* “No, that's not like him. I think it's something else. Something that has to do with next week.”

Liz - *whispers* “What’s happening next week?”

Sonya - *whispers* “No idea. Let me check my phone.”

Sonya pulls out her phone to check the calendar. Then she saw that it said how next week on the 25th is their birthday. 

Sonya - “Oh! It’s our birthday.”

Liz - *deadpanned* “Really? That’s the big deal next week?”

Sonya - “It would seem so. You know that cousin Charlie would want to throw a party for us.”

Liz - “Well better tell Mr. Mumbles there.”

Sonya - *Right. *to a rambling Hardy* Dude, we know next week is our birthday. And cousin Charlie wants to throw a party for us.”

Hardy - *stops and stares at the twins*”...You...You do?”

Liz - “Duh! We aren’t dumb. We just don’t care about it.”

Hardy - *surprised* “You don't? Why not?”

Sonya - *uncomfortable* “It’s not easy to talk about…”

Hardy - *concerned* “Did something bad happen on one of your Birthdays? If so, I can relate. I mean, I did learn about my parents not being able to afford me on my 10th birthday.”

Liz - “It’s a bit more complicated then that.”

Sonya - “This isn’t a place to talk about it. I know the perfect place.”

()()()()()()()()() 

After eating, they take Hardy to an alley where they do stuff like graffiti and throw random things at a wall and trash can. Hardy looked a bit weird out about the place. 

Hardy - “Uh…Why are we in an alley?”

Sonya - “This is one of the places where me and Liz go to clear our minds and stuff.”

Hardy - “I see. So you come here when you feel overwhelmed?”

Sonya - “Yep. I like to graffiti or break stuff.”

Liz - “I like to throw things against the trash can or glass.”

Hardy - “Anyone else know about this place?”

Sonya - *shrugs* “Yeah probably.”

Liz - *proudly* “We don’t know nor care.”

Hardy - “Okay...So back on point, why is it that you don't care about your birthday, kids?”

Sonya - *takes a deep breath* “Well…Remember my cousins…Well, former cousins?”

Hardy - “The ones that tried to lobotomize and crystallize you guys?”

Liz -  *upset* “Yeah them…”

Sonya - “When we turned 6, I actually invited them to my birthday party to show them that Liz was tamed.”

Flashback 

Little Sonya and Liz went to their cousins and had presents in their hands. They were really excited to see them for the first time. Especially Liz since she’s now calm thanks to Charlie .  

Little Sonya - *happy* “Hi guys! Thanks for coming. Liz and I got something you *hands them drawings* 

Little Liz - “We made them yourself! *guilty* I’m also sorry for how I was. Didn’t know it wasn’t nice what I was doing.”

Paulie - “How nice, thank you.”

 Patrick - *nervously* “Yes I-It lovely. You shouldn't have.”

Jeanie - *gushing* “Yeah, these are so cute! We will keep them forever.”

Ashley - “Yeah you’re a really good artist.”

Little Sonya and Liz smiled at this. They were so happy that their cousins loved their gifts and forgave them. Then little Sonya was holding a diorama of her family she and Liz made from a shoebox and paper.  

Little Sonya - *excited* “Oh I can’t wait to see what we made!”

Little Liz - “Yeah! Glad the glitter work out.” 

Little Sonya - “But you went too crazy with the glitter.”

Little Liz - “You can never have enough glitter.”

Little Sonya rolled her eyes and began to walk in the hallway to find their other cousins. As little Sonya and Liz were walking in the hallway, they heard sizzling and laughter. They saw a door slightly opened and peeked inside. They saw their cousins laughing cruelly and burning the gifts they made them 

Patrick - “Can’t believe that monster tried to bribe us!”

Jeanie - “Yeah,  just who does she think she is?”

Paulie - “An idiot that what she is! Thinking that thing she had is tamed?”

Ashley - “Yeah, no way that we'll ever accept them! And the art work they made is so lame! The only thing they are good for is either for the fireplace or toilet paper!”

The cousins cruelly laugh at that remark. Some even spit on the paper before burning them. 

Patrick - “As far as I am concerned she doesn’t exist. A disgrace to the family!”

Paulie - “Yeah, she's just an insane freak that deserves to be an asylum for life! Or lobotomized!”

Sonya and Liz quietly gasped from hearing this. Their cousins STILL hate them? Even after Liz apologize and they gave them gifts?

Sonya - *shocked* “T-They hate us?”

Liz - *tears up* “But I thought…thought…”

Sonya in tears threw the diorama on the wall and ran outside. It was raining and Sonya tripped causing her to prick her finger on a branch. That’s when she switched with Liz. Liz began panting, was in tears, and screamed in isolation.

Flashback ends

Sonya - “Since then, Liz and I never bothered to celebrate our birthdays again.”

Liz - “To us, it is like a reminder that we are hated and never meant to be born.”

Hardy stares at Sonya and Liz with sympathy, feeling sorry for the twins for experiencing such a thing at a young age. Deep down, he wanted to find Sonya and Liz's cousins and teach them a lesson, but he knew it wouldn't be right. He sighs and sits down next to the girls.

Hardy - “I can relate to you girls. When I was alive, every kid in my school strongly believed that I was the son of that stupid serial killer that caused terror around my hometown before I was even born. Even though it was proven to be wrong, they still treated me  that way all the same. I rarely had any friends at that time, if at all. I was fortunate to have Mr. Chi and the tenants care for me like I was part of their family.”

Sonya - “That really sweet dude. But I’m also sorry you had to go through that.”

Liz - “Yeah I mean why can’t people see who we are and stuff? They are just stupid.”

Hardy - “Sometimes, people are just too stubborn to admit when they're wrong. They much rather live in denial and make excuses for their wrongdoings than facing the truth. Just like how some toxic fans are detached with reality and rather stay in their own fantasy world.”

Sonya - “Oh yeah…The only people we told this to are my parents. Cousin Charlie we couldn’t tell at all. The only thing we did tell them was the assholes who were mean to us.”

Hardy - “Why?

Liz - “Cause you know how Cuz is: she is all happy and sunshine. She has been through a lot and I know something like this would crush her. I mean she always wants to do something special on important moments and unimportant moments.”

Sonya - “Also we know that she loves to throw parties and it makes her happy.”

Hardy - “I think you underestimate her, girls. Sure, she's been through hard stuff, but with us by her side, Charlie bounces back on her feet stronger than ever. I'm certain that she would understand how you feel. Plus when you think about it, she throws parties for you two to show that she cares about you guys even the unimportant moments in your life. You can’t let one bad moment ruin that forever you know? Then you will never know the good things.”

Sonya and Liz eyes widen at that. They never realize how much Charlie put so much effort on showing how she cares about them and being in their life. 

Liz - *guilty* “Man, I feel like a total douche right now…”

Sonya - *guilty* “Me too…I mean I don’t wanna break her heart. That's the last thing I wanna do.”

Hardy - *places his hand on Sonya’s shoulder and gives a comforting smile* “Trust me, she will understand.”

“Hey! Get away from our alley” 

Hardy and Sonya turned and saw some loan sharks. Some of them even had guns in their hands.” 

Liz - “Your alley? Get lost dickhead! My sister and I always hang out here.” 

Loan shark - “Not anymore! We now own this alley.”

Sonya - “Since when?”

Loan shark 1 - “Since now! Get out!”

Just when Sonya and Liz was about to do something, Hardy stopped them and said:

Hardy -  *whispers to the twins* “I'll deal with this, girls. *clears throats and faces the loan sharks* Pardon me, gentlemen, but I think we've got off on the wrong foot. May I suggest that we talk this out like civilized people over a drink?”

Loan shark 1 - *thinking* “Well I do like drinking…” 

Loan shark 2 - “Especially when it’s free.”

Hardy - “Excellent, and I know just the perfect brew for you fellas. It's called... Shark. Fin. Soup.”

Loan Shark 1 - *confused* “Huh?”

In a flash, Hardy strikes the loan shark's nose with his palm, disrupting their electrical senses. Then, he kicks the shark into a barrel full of liquid that appears to be acidic, as the loan shark popped out screaming in pain like it's skin was melting. Sonya and Liz were amazed at what Hardy did. 

Sonya - *amazed* “Whoa dude! That was so cool.”

Loan Shark 3 - *angry* “Why you sneaky fire-headed-“

Before the loan shark could attack Hardy, he pounds him from behind with his backhand, causing him to fall unconscious easily.

Sonya - *cheering* “Yeah, kick their ass!!”

Two loan sharks pull out their tommy guns and aimed right at Hardy. However, at the very moment they pulled the trigger, Hardy ducked beneath them and turned one another into bloody swiss cheese.

Liz - *impressed* “Wow, he's so cool! Wild Cherri would be so proud of him.”

There were two loan sharks left, but they were both quaking in their feet. Hardy simply turned towards them and...

Hardy - “Boo.”

Both loan sharks jumped in terror and ran off like chickens. However, they both were soon run over by a speeding truck, rendering them both a splattered mess.

Sonya - “Hardy that was so awesome! Never realize you can fight like that!”

Hardy - “Luckily, these guys were dumb enough to not carry blessed weapons, so they won't get erased. They'll respawn, but hopefully, they learn their lesson.”

()()()()()()()()()

Meanwhile at the hotel, things were still a bit messy, but Charlie and her friends managed to get through those bumps by putting up decent decorations and balloons. Then there was a knock at the hotel door.  

Charlie - “Oh! I’ll get it.”

Charlie went to open the door and saw it was her Uncle Azarel and Aunt Zella. 

Charlie - *happy* “Oh, hello Uncle Azrael and Aunt Zella, it's good to see you. I’m so glad you came. I need a little help with this party.”

Azarel - “Yeah Charlie about that-“

Charlie - “I know my friends and girlfriend are doing their jobs but we do appreciate your help since you know you guys are Sonya and Liz’s parents.”

Azrael - *a bit annoyed* “Charlie, there's something you should know-“

Charlie - *not listening* “Oh that’s good because this can really help with the twins birthdays and-“

Zella - *loudly* CHARLIE! *Charlie stop talking and Zella took a breath* Charlie, they don’t like their birthdays. They don’t see their birthday special that way.”

Charlie - *stops within her tracks and turns to them* “Say wha?”

Azarel - “It’s true. They don’t see it as a big deal.”

Charlie - “But everybody love parties! Especially surprises.”

Azrael - *shakes her head* “Well, not anymore Ever since that incident on their sixth birthday, Sonya and Liz stopped celebrating their birthdays.”

Vaggie - *confused* “Incident? What incident?”

Azrael - “On their sixth birthday, they invited their cousins over to show how Liz changed thanks to Charlie’s help. However, things didn't go as they were hoping for.”

Zella - *glumly* “They broke their hearts by saying and doing hurtful remarks.”

Azrael - “They even burnt the gifts that they gave to them as an apology for Liz's previous actions.”

Husk - *sympathetic* “Gee that’s fucking rough for them.”

Blitz - *eyes widen* “I remember them…At the family reunion where they tried to frame them with poison pies and crystallize them. Never think those bastards can stoop so low to do that. Especially to their own family members.”

Azrael - “Yeah, and ever since that day, they stopped celebrating their birthdays.”

Sophie - “Man that's really sad. But birthdays are supposed to be fun and happy.”

Zella - *glumly* “It is no longer for our daughters. They no longer bring them joy or laughter, just sadness and buckets of tearful water.”

Vaggie - “Charlie…Maybe it best we don’t do this party.”

Charlie - *sighs disappointedly* “Yeah, I guess so. But I don’t get it…I always throw parties for them before and always have a great time! 

Azarel and Zella looked at each other with uncomfortable looks. But they knew they had to tell Charlie the truth now. 

Azarel - “Actually honey, it was YOU that had a great time not Sonya and Liz.”

Charlie gasped from hearing this. She ignored their baby cousins' feelings? 

Charlie - “But I don’t understand I…I didn’t even invite the mean cousins. How could they-“

Then Charlie gasps and remembers times she threw the parties for Sonya and Liz. She would invite their parents and even the Sins to celebrate with them. However, while Charlie was laughing, talking and having a great time, Sonya and Liz weren’t. They looked uncomfortable and just either stayed in a corner, stayed in the kitchen, went to their rooms, or used the old “have to use the bathroom but stay long” trick. Remembering this caused Charlie to feel down and guilty.

Charlie - *shocked* “I...I had no idea...I'm such an idiot. *sniff* I'm a terrible cousin.”

Vaggie - *comforting* “Hey honey you’re not a terrible cousin, you just didn’t know the truth.”

Charlie - “But I should have! I'm their only big cousin and best friend! How could I not have noticed?!”

Angel - “Hey Princess, nobody is perfect.”

Blitz - “Angel's right. Don't beat yourself up, Charlie. Everyone makes mistakes.”

Charlie - “But I still want the twins  to have fun for their birthdays.”

Vaggie - “Then why not do something different than a party? There's infinite ways to do it on a birthday instead of just a party.”

Angel - “Yeah you can take them where fun like a shooting range. That’s one of my favorite places to go beside sex dungeons.”

Blitz - “Or maybe take them to an arcade and have pizza.”

Husk - “Or go to the movies and see the latest film.”

Vaggie - “Or even have your dad take them to his amusement park, Lu-Lu World.”

Charlie - “Man these all sound like great ideas! It's gonna be hard to pick which one they want to do.”

“Why don't you ask her yourself?”

Charlie spun around, and there she found Hardy with Sonya and Liz beside him.

Charlie - *surprised* “Oh! Guys! I didn’t expect you to come back so early.”

Sonya - *skittish* “So...Mom and Dad told you, huh?”

Charlie - *sigh* “Yeah...Listen, Sonya, Liz, i'm really sorry for what happend to you girls on your sixth birthday. I had no idea that the other cousins would do such a thing. But how come you never told me about not liking parties?”

Sonya - “Because we know that they make you happy.”

Liz - “Yeah I mean you get overjoyed being at parties and especially at planning them. We couldn’t ruined that for you.”

Charlie - “I only thought of those parties to make you happy, not for myself. *lowers her head* So much for me being your best cousin.”

Sonya - *raise eyebrows* “What are you talking about cousin Charlie? You are my best cousin!”

Liz - “Yeah! You helped me when we were six and realized I meant to exist.”

Sonya - “And you defended me from those assholes who tried to frame me for poisoning those pies.”

Liz - “You accepted me for who I am.”

Charlie smiled from this and hugged both her cousins.

Charlie - *touched* “I love you girls so much.”

Sonya - “Besides there are actually some things we don’t hate about our birthdays. The present is the obvious one and cake.”

Liz - “To be honest, on our sixth birthday, I did remember something and it just came to me now…”

Flashback 

When Liz was crying outside, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder. She looked up and saw it was their cousin Charlie. 

Charlie - “What’s wrong sweetie?”

Liz - *whimpers* “M-My birthday is b-bad!!”

Little Liz kept crying and then she felt being picked up by Charlie. Charlie was gently giving her a hug. 

Charlie - “Aww don’t cry sweetie. Everything going to be okay.”

Little Sonya - “How?”

Charlie - “Well your parents did tell me the other cousins left. But we can still make it fun!”

Little Liz gave a small smile. Then Charlie handed them a gift. 

Charlie - “This is from me and my dad.”

Little Liz opened her gift and her eyes widened. It was a harlequin hat. 

Little Liz - “Wow! A cool hat! *puts it on* it fits me!”

Charlie - “Dad noticed you love the circus especially the clowns and wanted to give you a hat.”

Little Liz - *giggles* “Thank you!”

Little Sonya - *opened the gift* “Wow! Gardening tools!”

Charlie - “I even noticed you love flowers and plants.”

Little Sonya - “Thank you cousin Charlie!” 

Charlie - “Come on, let's continue celebrating your birthday.”

Flashback ends

Sonya - *eyes widen* “Man…I can’t believe I forgot about that.”

Charlie - “Guess that’s why I always throw parties.”

Liz - “I guess I was so upset about what happened with those assholes, I forgot about that memory. Can’t believe I forgot that…”

Sonya - “But it does show despite us not liking parties the best thing about them is being with you. It makes it worth it.”

Charlie's eyes start to swell up with tears of joy. She gave her baby cousin a big hug. 

Charlie - *sniffs* “You girls are the best cousins I could ever have.”

Sonya - “And I know what to do for our birthday.” *smiles* 

()()()()()()()()()

Next week had passed and it was Sonya and Liz's birthday. Her family and friends decide to come to the hotel for a movie day and then a laser tag game. With Lucifer's help, Charlie is able to set the hotel in a great movie. Right now, everybody was watching Sonya’s favorite movie and eating some snacks. 

Charlie - “Man who knew a band of misfits is able to protect the whole outer space.”

Hardy - “Yeah! This movie is super amazing!”

Sonya - “What I tell ya. One of the best movies ever.”

Frostbite - “Hell yeah! All those weapons and fights, I know I would have taken dudes down in a heartbeat.”

Raina - “Yeah. I love all the pretty colors and how space is so big with stars and stuff.”

Rimfire - “I’ll admit it's not cliche. But I do wonder why they don’t kill the talking badger.”

Sophie - “Technically, he's a raccoon.”

Rimfire - *shrugs* “I would have skin that thing or eat it. I mean what animals are good for anyway.”

Angel - “Heh, if you try that, he would've blast ya to the smithereens. I mean, have you seen the size of that dude's gun? Boy, would I like to take that bad boy a joyride.”

Niffty - “Speaking of bad boys I love the leader! He’s so handsome and love how he kills people *giggled*”

Hardy - “Huh, funny. I figure you would go for the green dude who takes everything too literally.”

Niffty - “Oh he’s there too! Trust me, he’s number 1 on my list.”

Husk - “I’ll admit this movie is better than the other hot trash shit I've seen.”

Then the movie was finished and Charlie stood up and said: 

Charlie - “Well, now that the movie is over, who's ready for some laser tag?”

Sir Pentious - *excited* “I am! I even got my own laser gun. Made it myself, you know.”

Vaggie - “No Pentious, the ones we have are toys not real ones.”

Sir Pentious - *disappointed* “Awwww.”

Frostbite  - *scoff* “Relax old man. The toy versions are fun. But I know I’m gonna win since I’m the best.”

Rimfire - *grins* “Is that a challenge?”

Frostbite - *proudly* “You know it dude!”

Raina - *worried* “Will these light things hurt?”

Charlie - “Don’t worry they are harmless.”

Liz - “Okay, enough chit chat, let's play!”

Then everybody began to play and chase each other around. Angel had four guns on his hands and began shooting at Sonya.

Sonya - *annoyed* “Hey! No fair!”

Angel - “Oi, be grateful that I ain't using all my six arms!”

Cherri - “Better start running squirt!”

And she did. She ran as Angel and Cherri chased after her while blasting at her with their lasers.

Sonya - “Cut me some slack it’s my birthday!”

Liz - *annoyed* “You mean OUR birthday. Also, *zaps her twin sister with her laser* gotcha!”

Sonya - “Betrayal!”

Liz - “All's fair at love and war, you know!”

Azarel - “Okay guys! It’s time for cake and then presents!”

Sonya and Liz - *gasps* “CAKE!!!”

They ran and saw that their cake was a big vanilla and chocolate cake. There was even ice cream on the side and luckily it wasn’t melted. Sonya and Liz were about to use their hands to grab the cake but then their father stopped them.  

Azarel - “Whoa whoa girls! You’re not toddlers, use a cake knife!”

Both - *sheepish* “Sorry Dad.”

Azrael gives them a cake knife each. 

Azarel - “Now you can take them.”

Sonya - “I can’t wait to taste this cake!”

Liz - “And ice cream!”

Sonya and Liz slowly scooped a piece of cake and ice cream from their plates and bit it at the same time.

Both - “Holy crap it's good!”

Zella - *chuckles and to the others* “Please have some cake there’s plenty for others to take.”

Everyone grabs a slice of cake and ice cream. They all agreed that it tasted really good and they were talking and laughing too. As they were eating cake it was time to open presents and Sonya grabbed one from the table. 

Sonya - “Alright! Okay let’s see! *see a pink box and said it was from Angel* Okay this is from Angel Dust.” 

She opened it and had a deadpanned look on her face. The gift revealed to be baby stuff like a toy rattle and pacifier. Angel was laughing along with Cherri. 

Sonya - *annoyed* “Ha, ha. Very funny, Angel. Maybe you could use these for your next film.”

Angel - *stops laughing* “Relax kid, it's just a joke. Here’s your real gift.”

He handed Sonya a red wrapped gift. She opened it and saw it was a t-shirt with flame designs and for Liz it was the same thing but the flames were blue.

Songs - “Wow this is cool!”

Liz - “Ya got good taste Angel D!”

Angel - “Oh I know that. By the way, the baby stuff is actually for Nuggies.”

Angel takes the pacifier and places it in Fat Nuggets' mouth, as he sucks on it rather adorably.

Liz - *excited* “Okay my turn!”

She saw a present and opened it. It was from Rimfire.”

Liz  *amazed* “Wow! Hunting daggers!”

Rimfire - *nods* “Yep, best ones ever crafted. Sharpen them myself.”

Sophie - “Sonya! Lizzie! I got something for you guys too!”

Sophie brings out a beautiful drawing she made for them.

Sonya - *impressed* “Wow! You made that yourself Sophie?”

Sophie - *happily nods* “Uh-huh. You guys are not only my best friends but like sisters to me too!”

Liz - *cooing* Aww Cupcake, this is the sweetest thing you ever made!”

Sophie gives out a sweet and adorable smile. As Sonya and Liz gave her a hug. Then she grabbed a present that was wrapped in card designs and knew who it was from.

Sonya - “Ooh this present is from Husk!”

She opened it and it was a pack of cards and dice.  

Sonya - *confused* “Oh how nice! But what’s it for?”

Husk - “Oh, there's plenty of use for a pack of cards and dice, such as tricks, games, *whispers* And maybe a gamble or two.”

Sonya - “Oh well thank you!”

Charlie - *excited* “Ooh! Open mine!”

Charlie handed Sonya and Liz her present. Sonya and Liz saw it was a necklace and when she opened it, it was a picture of a young Charlie with the twins. 

Charlie - “I wanted to make something special since you guys had it rough but wanted you to remember you always have somebody to be there for you.”

Tears of joy welled up in Sonya and Liz's eyes. Sonya and Liz gave their cousins a big hug.  

Sonya - “Thank you Charlie for everything.”

Liz - “You’re the best cousin we ever have.”

Sonya - “And thank you for making this the best birthday ever.”

Charlie gives her cousins a big hug in return. 

Charlie - *smiles* “You're welcome, girls.”

Sonya and Liz continue opening presents and they each had something that was based on their interest. Like getting stuff animals, clothes, even action figures. The pets and Egg Bois got Sonya and Liz gifts too. KeeKee gave them a toy mouse, Fat Nuggets gave them two rocks, and the egg bois gave them random bottles they found in the recycling bin. Then it was Hardy and Blitz turned. 

Hardy - “Hey girls, wanna see my gift for you guys?”

Liz - “Hell ya!”

Hardy hands them a present box and the two open it. It reveals a rather bizarre yet interesting-looking thing that looks like a cross between an ancient artifact and a gaming console.

 Liz - *impressed and confused* “Whoa, that looks cool, Hardy. But... What is it?”

Sonya - “Hold on, I've seen this before. *pulls out a book* It's called the Doomsday Drive Mk. DCLXVI, the Phantom Reality Gaming Console. It was supposed to be a legend.”

Hardy - *nods* “Yeah, Blitz and I found it when we were helping Grandmaster Long clean his things. Stories say that there are seven games to collect and you can collect them by playing each game. After you collect all seven games and beat them, it will grant you a single wish.”

Sonya - “Really? That’s amazing!!”

Hardy - “Yep but you gotta be careful cause sometimes it can get a little tricky.”

Angel - “One question. Is this thing safe? Because usually these sort of things are said to be cursed or something, like that magical jungle board game movie.”

Hardy - “There's an instruction manual saying that should only be played by demons, and not humans. For humans, it'll be extremely dangerous. However, for demons like Sonya and Liz, it's tolerable. It does, however, have certain rules to it.”

Charlie - “What kind of rules?”

Hardy - “Well, for starters, if you lose at a game, then you will lose all your progress and the games that you've managed to collect, meaning you will have to start all over from the very beginning.”

Liz - *amazed* “Whoa, like Dark Souls.”

Hardy - “Right. Plus, from a certain game that you lose in, you will have to endure 24 hour curse penalty. For example, if you lose the Gluttony game, you will have to endure 24 hours of insatiable hunger.”

Angel - “You mean that they'll eat as much food as they want, but it won't be enough to fill them?”

Rimfire - *impressed* “Crikey, that's gnarly.”

Frostbite - “Yeah it sounds really badass!” 

Raina - “So amazing!”

Sophie - “What happens if they lose? Will they lose their wish?”

Hardy - *shakes his head* “No, they just start over from the beginning while having to endure a different type of curse for 24 hours.”

Husk - “And you say there are seven of them?”

Hardy - “That's right. Each one represent the seven deadly sins: Pride, Lust, Greed, Gluttony, Envy, Sloth, and Wrath.  From a certain game you lose in, not only will you have to start over, but you will be given a 24 hour curse based on that certain sin. Such as Gluttony being insatiable hunger, and Lust makes you hyper-flirtatious to every person you see, no matter your sexual orientation.”

Sonya - “Well we are definitely staying away from the Lust one.”

Liz - “We might have to if we're going to get a wish. Otherwise, we'll just have to keep this thing as a fancy paperweight or something.”

Sonya - “Well alright we will do the lust one last.”

Liz - “Good idea, so which game should we play first?”

Sonya - “Let’s do the one in the gluttony ring. I mean after all, if we lose we will just wanna pig out.”

Liz - “Like we always do.”

Sonya and Liz high-fived each other and begin their quest to obtain their wish. It truly was the best birthday they ever had. 

To Be Continued...

The End.

[watching-pictures-move]

Movie Review | God of Gamblers (Wong, 1989)

I remember hearing about this one back when I first started getting into Hong Kong cinema. I remember watching The Killer, thinking how cool Chow Yun Fat was in that one, and assuming he’d be similarly cool in this one. I remember reading the piece on David Bordwell’s site where he lists some titles he considers essential introductory viewing for Hong Kong cinema, and setting on the A Better Tomorrow, which also stars Chow Yun Fat and features him in the single coolest shot in movie history, and this one right after, and getting more confidence that this would offer similar pleasures. I remember seeing all these gifs of Chow in a tuxedo doing all these crazy moves presumably befitting of the God of Gamblers, and of all these crazy action scenes, and forming an idea in my head of how impossibly cool this movie must have been. I suspect others approaching this movie without reading any actual reviews may have formed a similar idea in their heads.

What Bordwell conveniently left out, and what was likely harder to distill into gif format, was that Chow is really only cool for the first and last half hours of this movie, and is in a very different mode for the middle hour. You see, Chow is the God of Gamblers, and you see him put his amazing gambling powers to use as he gambles better and harder than anybody he comes across. I personally don’t gamble and have little personal interest in card games and the like, but Wong Jing directs the hell out of these sequences, serving up ample style to compensate for the supposedly meager budget. (I was a little disappointed that Michiko Nishiwaki, who appears in one of these scenes and, as in My Lucky Stars, elicits some well deserved gasps when she reveals her muscles, doesn’t appear in more of the movie.) And you get a pretty sweet action scene on a train with triad member Charles Heung, who’s another person you’re gonna have to separate the art from the artist with.

But then Chow gets bonked on the head multiple times and reverts to a childlike state, retaining only his love of chocolate and his godlike gambling powers while falling under the care of low level criminal Andy Lau and his friends, a turn which suggests Wong watched Rain Man and decided he needed to fit that in with all the other movies he was cribbing from. What’s shocking is how well this works, in large part because of the total commitment Chow shows in the role. No, it’s not sensitive, and the scene where Lau watches a kid being yelled at by her mother on a bus and feels bad about yelling at Chow, only to run back to him and find him eating ice cream and holding balloons will elicit unintentional laughs more than anything else, but I respect the commitment to the bit. I guess scenes like this, or the one where Chow threatens to cut off Wong’s dick after being told men aren’t allowed to scream during sex, or the one where he chops up Ng Man-Tat’s tie are harder to distill into gif format, but they’re entertaining none the less.

So as long as you don’t expect the movie to flow together at all, there’s something to keep you entertained during the two hour runtime, especially as all the goofy stuff is interspersed with the usual acrobative and squib-heavy set pieces you can expect from classic Hong Kong action cinema. (Wong’s most distinct directorial flourish is the use of slow motion to emphasize particularly impressive or painful-looking stunts.) That being said, I’m still a little baffled that this was a big enough hit to have spawned as many sequels and spin-offs as it did, but I guess people just loved watching Chow gamble.

[valer203]

Chapter 9-Taking a moment to breathe

March 28 2026 Well the things are starting to get into a bit of a routine. People come to the Garden and some stay and help in here. The Fireman and the Wonder Kid for example. One was saving the other from the fire when the shit has gone down. The families of both have died during that time. Poor guys got no one but each other and our little forming community. Hell we all want some companionship after all that started. Even little Shadow needs it now<-(Can you not diagnose me here?)<-(Just stating what i see. We all have our problems. You don't need to be ashamed of yours.)<-(God you are a such weirdo.).

Anyways i think Fireman can control temperature or something and the Kid is a talented artist and can bring his art to life. Kinda beautiful not gonna lie.

People keep scavenging and adjusting to the new life. We keep helping each other. Electricity, water and even internet are still somehow working. Is someone managing it all? And if so then who? It can't be these people who started it all right? Hell anything's possible at this point. Still we need to not take it all for granted. It can all disappear in a moment. We need to be ready<-(Didn't know you can be pessimistic.)<-(More like realistic. It's a serious concern.).

-Speaking of which i think we should start training or sparring or something. What do you think little Shadow? -Well better learn some stuff in training instead of another stressful situation. I don't know if i'll be able to take another pure imrov like last time. -Yep we might even understand each other better after that. Anyways how good is your hand to hand? -Not bad but please don't get too serious. I seriously don't know what to expect from you at this point. -Am i seriously that unpredictable? -Yes! Yes you fucking are! -Okay okay i'll try to be careful. You ready?

The Shadow took a deep breath and took a stance.-Yes. Let's do this. She then immediatelly covered the area in Darkness. -Should i pretend that i don't see you? -No need.-Shadow used the darkness to quickly move through it with no difficulty or danger. -Mm interesting. Okay show me what you've got little Shadow!-Detective decided to stay on the defensive to let the Shadow confidently try whatever she has in her arsenal.

The Shadow took the chance sliding and gliding around him to try and confuse him and make him guess where she will pop out from until she popped up behind him almost meeting his fist in the process. Detective predicted that the first strike will come from behind and his Gift helped him perceive it without even turning around. Thankfully for the Shadow this was planned to be a feign from the start and she immediatelly slinked back shortly attacking him with a kick from the opposite side. Detective was just a tiny bit too slow to block the kick entirely but managed to offset some of the force. He then tried to grab her by the leg but his hand found nothing in the place where it should have been. She vanished again wasting no time to give him an axe kick from above but was predicted and swiftly caught. Detective tried to knock her on the ground but once again she dematerialized and retreated.

-Heh not bad. You weren't lying. Someone trained you? -Yeah. Was in a gang before. They helped me practice a bit.-Shadow's voice betrayed the bittersweet nostalgia. Detective dropped the stance-Wanna talk about it? -Do you always have to pry into other people's lives? -Yes. I'm the Detective. That's like my thing. The Shadow wearily sat down.-Siiiigh You are gonna be asking me about my backstory every time you have a chance aren't you? -Mmmmaaaaybeee?-The Detective followed suit.

The Shadow took a long pause and with a deep breath started opening up.

-I…didn't have a very good childhood. When i was still young father gambled away almost all the family money, became an alcoholic, started abusing me and mom, i decided to get into petty crime to pay for at least something.

Found out i was very good at it and not long after that a minor gang found me and took me in. Heh it was probably the best part of my life. I had friends, money, fun.

Well even that part was not perfect. Mom died after another fit of abuse. Father got arrested and put into jail. Thank god cause frankly he fucking deserved it.

Shadow has gone onto the memory lane revealing stuff Detective didn't even ask about and he just listened to her story without interrupting. He was curious but also it was pretty obvious that deep down she wanted and needed to talk about this with somebody, anybody even if she wasn't aware of that.

But even the good times end. The gang started getting bolder, more arrogant, more violent, more reckless. We were shifting to more violent crime and i didn't like that but i was not in the right state to change anything in my life after mom died.

It continued until one day i almost got shot because these dumbasses weren't careful enough and well i wasn't too. That day the reaper winked at me and i decided to not risk my life anymore. I left the gang despite their protests and started doing planned out solo jobs with no risk of getting killed.

A few months later i found out the entire gang got arrested and jailed so i guess i dodged another bullet there heh. I continued doing my thing until you and all this shit came into my life.

That's the story. Holy shit didn't know i'll spill so much and not going to lie it felt liberating.

-Yeah talking about stuff that has been weighing you down can be very therapeutic.-Detective once again pat her gently on the head. -Heh i swear if you weren't a Detective you would have been a great therapist. -Aaww come on i'm not that great. I was just a curious listener. -And that was enough in my case i guess.-The Shadow smiled in content. -Heh i guess it was. The Shadow moved closer.-Soo now that i opened up how about you do the same?

Detective was a bit surprised by her sudden boldness but was not against sharing.

-Well i can but it's just not that crazy in general. -Ooh come oon i'm curious too. Heh also wouldn't be surprised if it's still crazy for me.

-Fine fine. I was born in a normal loving family. Always was curious and loved detective stories. It was obvious who i was destined to be. When i got out of school i immediatelly made an office as soon as possible. You could have guessed from the veeeery original name.-Shadow slightly chuckled-And the life was just mostly good after that. I got into shit, got out of shit. Hell i might have even helped the police get your gang. I don't know really. There was a lot of stuff. Got my experience in fighting mostly by getting into danger heh. Also tried some more structured training. Not going to lie but i train better without much artificial structure.

-But what about your parents? Were they also okay until all this? -No they both died in a car crash after i already established my office. -Oh. -Yeah it hit hard but i was already independent and doing my dream job so it hit me only emotionally and i eventually got over it. I'm overall a pretty jovial person so it wasn't THAT hard. -Yeah i noticed. -And that's pretty much it. I was doing my job and eventually stumbled upon your case and we both know the rest. -Well you weren't joking. If we ignore the fact that you were dead set on Detective work from childhood it is a pretty normal life. -Told ya. -Still it's good to know more about you. -Same with you.

-Hey kiiiids! It's time to eat! I baked some pie for everyone!-The Gardener who at this point has become the group's mom called everyone to enjoy the evening. -Yes mooom!-Detective replied in a half-joking manner.-Let's go little Shadow. I wanna know what flavour she put in that. -Yeah i was getting hungry too. Let's go.

[the-firebird69]

The Stand 1994 Trailer | Stephen King | Gary Sinise

It's no joy being here it's very hard and it gets attacked a lot I'm kinda doing it that's his point isn't like Vegas at all he didn't like really going there and she didn't like it either she's talking about to her friends after said he's like some kind of fanatic and had to go there and look at it and see what it was he didn't really like it that much said a lot of old people come here to die and they give up their money and it's over and it was them too the girls said she was talking to they think to win a lot of money and he says they don't win too much and rarely do they have a jackpot and they probably collected but you didn't say that he said most of it and she said it was very sad when he explained it to me no felt bad for awhile and he said I'm gonna try to win something so we have something and it was horrible and she was talking about other stuff and she finally said they probably won't ever let us win there and they're superstitious and it kinda clicked with me he can't win there and then it's like he's sending out code sometimes and I got that too but not all the time and not to win off their machines and such so he went a little bit but it was off of us kind of in our machines and I do follow it but he's not much money it's coded but really it's kind of silliness but I guess we take our gambling seriously and I can see their point but really we're keeping him poor and we're probably all gonna pay. Go into this movie and I know what I'm doing and other people do too vegas is a place that took in a lot of us and Megan Merkel does not sing the song but but she's on it and they show her as a giant I'm just looking around but we go there and cause problems and we can come to Axman and we fight each other and we're taking max and all sorts of things happen I probably get shot a lot. And he says my character is bad breath and smells like farts it's true that's what the guy smells like it's because of what he needs to get bigger and it's gross it's not cohogs but close crabs no it's clams and yeah that strange looking guy at Essex we have a lot of stuff to talk about but this is a huge deal with me it's pretty big because he recognizes it my son does too and he can't go gung ho and say to do stuff but they've had problems with  but they've had problems with them for a long time that area is very evil to them when they were up there they had some issues and they got prolonged and elongated and things got a little mean and they didn't even win anything and their businesses got better but really he attracts a negative crowd and we're part of it and that was what happened too and Tommy F attracted a negative attention when he got to Diablo stuck and they prevented him from going there and yeah I was helping to get him there and we call ourselves demons and the devil and stuff. And they knew about it and that's what they're saying they're saying about him too. And about Tommy F and he said he's the count like Count Dracula and we caught on to it and they hated him for it but we want to make this car and he is saying we can't do it the other car had mistakes but we'd have to copy the Lambo And it would have to be very high performance and it would cost a lot of money. To make it on the Asian chassis seems kind of a waste it's not really sturdy enough and it's true for 800 miles an hour the Ford and the Camaro are not that great the older Corvette is pretty good it's a little longer but you can elongate this and the chassis is very sturdy and you kind of need it and he said he was thinking of it at first and he knew it was a little long but it looks the same wouldn't be a big deal to lengthen it and he says it's not mid engine and to lengthen it would make it work easier that's kinda true cuz you can fit it behind it easier it's usually a real pain when you're using a different type of motor so it gives you the added three inches which won't be noticeable so we're gonna try and do it and he says on a Corvette is symbolism and it's powerful and you see Justin on the fleet and those are old corvettes the new ones are like star Blazers and I guess we're gonna toss our fleet to the wind and he's saying it you need to go to earth to defend your stuff and it's a pseudo empire they are going after our stashes and catches so yeah they don't wanna allow it but going after Venus is a waste and that's what they're saying and they don't want them there at all and nobody does right now and I tell them to do it I guess and it's stupid and he is remarking that it's remarkably stupid so I'm sounding logical in the next minute i'm doing something that is really really bad for myself and my people and he understands why he just can't stop me and he's gonna have some of those and foreigners and eventually will have to face the empire I do get that I'm not handing it off but that's kinda what's gonna happen yeah lobster that looks good this guy is so small and he prepares the most meat I've ever seen in my life I don't know why the hell he's so teeny and he said that he craps it all out and he has to think about why and sometimes bread works along with things like that but it's true he eats a lot of stuff that makes you poop like the cream it use yogurt instead plain yogurt that's Greek and it tastes nice a little tangy but that cream will go right through you just like mayonnaise

trump

andno not my father but close ok hahah lol. was him ok. and he luaghs oh me nd nope not the guy either knows who that is

we work now this rules this is gonign to be good no this blows so badly call off the fleet off fvenus we are his enemy due to hit do that ok we suck so badly

[vent-ablog]

Very recently, I had to send my mother $3000 because she called me saying her trip to Vegas went bad.

She tells me it's cause her friends charged a bunch of stuff to the room, and thus her credit card - like a $150 haircut (that's the only example she gave, but I'm guessing there was room service and whatnot too). So she calls me and asks if I can, "e-transfer her $2500 - no, make it $3000".

I say OK, and as soon as she gets the money, she says, "If it weren't for you, I'd have been sleeping on the street." Now I know that a normal person would probably just take that as words of gratitude, however, I didn't like that one bit - cause it's getting into the territory of the same kind of manipulative language she used to use on me when I was a kid and I'm kinda getting some PTSD flashback vibes coming on. But whatever, I relaxe & release and let it pass. I ask her about the $3000 cheque written out to her from my step-dad that's sitting in the basement (I'm house/cat-sitting for them and the cheque was just sitting in the open) and ask why she didn't cash that before she went?

She tells me she did. So now I'm even more confused. She had $3000 (from step-dad), + whatever $ she brought, - $150 for haircut - whatever else they charged to the room), and somehow that = $0 for hotel???

Then, less than 2 hours later, she sends me this:

Like, OK. I GET THAT YOU'RE IN VEGAS, and gambling is kinda what it's known for. I get that it's your friend's birthday. But did you seriously just try to guilt me into feeling sorry for you when one of the first things you do with that money is immediately go back to gambling??? Like what the actual FUCK are you doing?!

If it WAS just gambling, I'm gonna be so mad, dude. I'm considering having an intervention for her or something.

Am I just overreacting? It certainly seems possible, given the aforementioned triggering vibes. Somebody, please tell me if I've gone insane!

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That said, until she gets back and I hear her side of the story, I'm gonna try to refrain from passing judgement. For all I know, her friends decided to order Dom Pérignon or some stupid shit. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt.

[lonesilverw0lf]

One way that I thought Slanessh would always eat the Eldar is that nobody else wants to get in their way. As tasty as a fresh Eldar soul would be to any other demon, if they try then Slanessh would consume them in revenge because ‘those are my snacks’! And with them being so linked to the Eldar as a whole, any Eldar deaths would probably be a bigger beacon to them than the other Gods.

The only reason the Goddess bothers to intervene is when they are going after one of her own. Insert the “and here comes the Goddess with a steel chair” meme. She also doesn’t just scrap Slanessh since there is a whole civilization and pantheon in their gut and doesn’t know how to remove those without hurting everyone. It was kinda their fault creating such a monstrosity in the first place.

I didn’t consider the gang going through their own Avatar cycles like Jaune, mostly because I was just focusing on Jaune, but that’s an interesting idea. Add more pain to their story. Jaune was the last to die, the last to be collected and finally able to find some peace, so they’re all waiting for his return only to be told by the Goddess that he decided to stay behind and try again. So of course they’re not going to just sit easy while he’s out there alone so they dive back into the Warp to be reborn. However with the Galaxy being so damn large, they are reborn in different locations(sans Malachites) and always miss just each other.

It’ll also be a good incentive for the Primarchs to not steamroll every Xeno species they find. If Jaune is refusing to stay dead and keeps coming back for more, then who’s to say his Wookie friend wouldn’t be the same? Wookie friend needs a Wookie body, so no we aren’t stomping the Wookiees. The apparent sole survivors of their races decided to roll the dice on Jaune’s gamble and indirectly saved their souls, so it’s only fair to give their kind another chance. So not only are they looking for Jaune but everyone else from the crew! Which finding the others would be harder since Jaune was the only one they actually met, have a body to confirm dna, and Jaune is the only one who thinks to call them up before he dies. The rest they just have stories and pictures supplied by Penny. She’s bittersweet when reminiscing on those days. The Goddess having a mask over her children’s eyes doesn’t help them being found and reunited.

I’m sure there would be many that won’t agree with suddenly sparing the Xenos, but Kahn, Lord of Sick Burns, can ask them ‘if they believe that humanity is so weak that the only way we can survive is if everything else is dead?’ Are ya really gonna say no when Rowboat says they could be useful to the Imperium?

If we look to your left we can see Trazyn and Malcador, two magpies collectors arguing discussing over who gets the latest corpse of Jaune, He Who Refuses To Retire! Oh wait, are those the Blood Ravens coming in from the side for their first foray into Jaune Collecting? Bold strategy of the Ravens getting in between those old farts gentlemen, let’s see if it pays off for them.

My idea for Jaune’s cycles is that he’s mostly unaware during his new life until Little Timmy returns. The best way I can try to explain it is still bad so bear with me.

The original Jaune, Jaune 1, is only vaguely aware of the latest Jaune’s life. Like sitting in the back of a vehicle dozing in and out. You’re sometimes aware you’re turning, slowing down, it’s raining outside, and stuff, and sometimes you ask the driver to turn the music down, turn the heat up, etc. So Jaune 1 is mostly a soul template for the current Jaune. Pilot Jaune is going to be very different from Planetary Lord Jaune and WordBearer Jaune. Their tactics and mindsets are going to differ, but their determination, kindness, and such will be relatively consistent.

Also the various Jaunes don’t have access to their other lives. Jaune 57 can’t talk to Jaunes 2-56, Jaune 2-56 can’t speak to each other, and Jaune 57 doesn’t even know Jaune 1 exists until Little Timmy comes knocking. Only Jaune 1 has some awareness of everything and his interactions are limited to the Timmy fights. When Timmy shows up only then Jaune 1 fully wakes up and hops in the front seat with the latest Jaune, who they have to work together to defeat Timmy again.

If we use this pattern for the others, then would they have the same general soul pattern like Jaune but with the extra subconscious need to find a certain blonde human? Jaune hopped back into the Warp unaware any of the others would’ve come after him, so he has no inclination to look for his old crew. His only focus is fighting Chaos as he thinks all the rest are safe back in Dragon Land. After reading about Eldar reincarnation sound weirdly similar to what I imagined. I swear I didn’t read up on the Eldar part until after I wrote Jaune’s rebirths.

Just because the Horus Heresy Loyalists are slightly better people doesn’t mean that they’re immune to being manipulated and corrupted. Majorkill did a couple of videos of the Robutian and Lion El Heresies. Dropping those two will show that they’re all vulnerable so they don’t apply the wrong pressure to the others.

I don’t know about Lorgar revering the Goddess in a worshipful sense, but a highly respected sense is plausible. He can be conflicted in how to view her since she did witness every damned Heresy possible the Imperium suffered and yet sat to the side and did nothing. But that can be countered as akin to watching ants build their colonies and such, you wouldn’t step in and interfere with a buncha ants fighting over anything. However it was also because of her that Jaune was able to attempt his gamble of saving the galaxy.

Sorry Perty, I don’t think whatever you build is going to stop the Goddess from putting you back in time out. She liked to eat entire galaxies back when and the Ctan were nothing to her, so putting a dozen and half man babies in time out is nothing. I don’t know if he would be that petty about being called Peter Turbo, but if he did then he would absolutely get steamed whenever he hears that Jaune left them another message. The message doesn’t even have to be for him, it could even be for Shrek Vulcan to drop a bomb on him to get Timmy. At least until he learns to get over himself.

I can see NightHaunter taking a blow to his ego. He was convinced that the future is set and this rando just shows up and starts changing the future left and right. Not to mention the numerous bad futures he dumps on them that he didn’t foresee. At the same time it can be a load off his shoulders as now he can actually put forth effort to make a better future. But with his shtick being justice while Jaune goes around breaking all the laws possible resulting in a net positive would also grate on him.

I thought it’d be a cool twist for Angron to have a Bruce Banner/Hulk issue. Jaune blew up the Butchers Nails factories, but Nuceria wouldn’t let such an asset go so easily. They could take it as the Nails were a threat to someone, which they are but not the way they think, and so went ahead to make them better. Angron got this new set, or another set of Nails, and it only halfway worked. So now it’s a coin flip of whether he’s an empath or a psychopath that day. He would tell his Legion not to get the Nails, seeing how badly they screwed him up yet didn’t entirely wipe his kindness, so cutting down on the agents of Khorne. Make it so that Angron still has a chance to be pulled by Chaos if he and others don’t watch him. Give Jaune a new problem that didn’t appear in any of his future readings and no idea how to deal with a nice side of guilt for not saving the Red Angel. Would it be better to have them removed and return Angron to the Paladin type he was designed for?

I forgot about Typhon. Yeah, he’s dead in no time flat. Even a demon of Nurgle wouldn’t survive that onslaught. Were Lucius and Kharn that bad before the Heresy? I remember Lucius being a bit of a prick, and I think Kharn happened after he got the Nails, so would they be scrubbed? Ahriman wasn’t a bad guy from my recollection, just was desperate to save his brothers and cast the Ruberic so he’d get a pass. Abbadon was ok before the HH. Would they leave Belisarius Cawl and Fabius Bile alone? Or at least monitor them? Their genius could be put to great use, figuring out Xeno tech for the betterment of the Imperium. Their Primaris and Numen work are iffy.

Finding the Pharos device and searching for more could be in the table. Perty and Dorn reinforcing the absolute hell out of Cadia as well.

I can see all the Primarchs using Jaune’s stupid nicknames on occasion. Usually only to get certain points across. Maybe they can all question if it would’ve been better if Jaune did gather them and raise them all with his ragtag crew. Listening to Penny’s stories they can have a few favorites that they would’ve loved to hang out with.

My take on the RWBY/40K idea. It’s not a ‘Jaune is a Lost Primarch’ that @guardsman-of-remnant or @the-wayward-arc have, or as thought out as @weatherman667 Astartes Chapters.

Juane was a normal guy who’s planet was destroyed. Then he decides to do something about it and potentially changes the course of the galaxy.

Jaune’s early life and world was dealt a bad hand. On a planet considered backwater, ruled over by incompetent lords, an over paranoid and self-righteous Inquisitor, continually and unrightfully drained of resources, repeatedly denied aid and due process, castigated for things beyond their control, and so on. Punished for ‘refusing to pay their tithe’ despite the fact they did pay the tithe but it was attacked by pirates. There was even a time when an enterprising farmer designed a better water pump, really all he did was find an older and better model and made more. Yet somehow the Mechanichum got wind of it and declared it Technoheresy. They destroyed every model and glassed a good swathe of the planet. Those are just a couple of many examples that Jaune was alive to experience. When everyday looks like hell, the Warp starts looking pretty good. Well between a Chaos uprising and a surprise Ork Waaah, alongside the possible threat of a Tyrranid fleet, the planet was declared hopeless and Exterminatus was ordered.

However instead of dying with the rest of the system’s population, Jaune was whisked away to another dimension. A pocket realm in-between the Materium and Immaterium. This realm was reined by a goddess yet not a goddess, who also sits in a weird in between with the materium and immaterium. Said goddess was an entity from another galaxy before the War in Heaven. She started off as just another galaxy conquering dragon, but after a few zillion years that got boring. Seeing the Old Ones and their creations she decided to observe. She’s got nothing but time, so why not? Over time she became loving, a gardener, a collector, a teacher. She doesn’t interfere with the Materium much because of her overwhelming power, and her control over the Immaterium is mostly spent keeping her corner of the galaxy protected from everything else. She’s pretty hands off and lets everyone else do their own thing, hence she didn’t take part in the War in Heaven. Or much else for that matter. She likes to watch the galaxy spin and all its different paths.

In her Library Jaune finds out the truth of the Horus Heresy, along with many other Heresies and major calamaties from alternate timelines that brought the Imperium to its knees and eventual demise. Horus Heresy, Robutian, Dornian, Lion, Erebrun, each and every Heresy and their potential variations. In a desperate bid to prevent these calamities, Jaune convinces his goddess to send himself and a motley collection of volunteers back in time to just before the Great Crusade. A Suicide Squad consisting of those that the Imperium would execute on the spot: Mutants, Abhumans, Heretics, Traitors, Xenos, Abominable Intelligence, and more. I’m sure Big E would get a laugh out of the irony.

Jaune knows that he can’t do half of what he wants to do. They can’t deal with anything big, like E’s journey into the Warp, the creation of the Primarchs and Astartes, the scattering of the Primarchs, the Great Crusade, etc. He can’t just go and tell the Emperor or Malcador about this. They won’t listen first off, and then they’ll just kill him for knowing too much, trying to play with things he has no business in, or just because Jaune refuses to kiss their asses.

He can’t just go out and pick up all the Primarchs and raise them like his own sons post-scattering. They’re scattered too far apart, their homeworlds need them in some fashion, the worlds are too big and dangerous to be looking for them, the Crew is always on the move which would be bad for their personal growth, each of them are too intelligent to not notice something’s different, they grow too fast for their limited resources, and more. Not to mention the unwanted attention they’d bring themselves from Chaos and Big E. That would spell doom in no time.

What they can do is use their knowledge of what happened and what could be to alter small yet key moments. A quick bombing run to eliminate the Butcher’s Nails factories, ensuring Corvus makes it to the surface, eliminating Kor Pheron, erasing Erebrus from the equation, keeping RG’s family alive from the deamon(Robutian Heresy story), warn and prepare several civilizations of what’s coming, plant a few bugs into each of the Primarchs’ flagships regarding certain orders, and more. These guys do not get a day off. They have to move in relative secrecy because who’s going to believe them? And those who may will likely have him killed for ‘interfering with the Emperor’s will’.

He’s met with relative success in his endeavors. Angron wasn’t implanted with the Butcher’s Nails, but with a different kind of device of similar purpose. This new set wouldn’t turn Angron’s brain to soup like the Butcher’s Nails did, this set gave him a form of split personality in the same way that Bruce Banner has with the Hulk. So Angron can be either the Stalwart Paladin type he was meant to be, or the Raging Barbarian type from canon. It’s a flip of the coin with him. Give the guy some more complexity than just rage rage rage.

It eventually comes to a point where he’s too far into the game to know what to do next. He’s changed too much to know the right call. The Primarchs are all gathered and conquering systems, so trying to do anything to them is out. Chaos has to know about his meddling by now, probably the Emperor as well. Despite the anti-aging tech, he's getting too old. His entire crew has fallen one by one. He’s the last man standing in this crusade.

Out of resources, options, ideas, allies, full of desperation, Jaune decides to throw one last Hail Mary. He calls in a favor from his Goddess, and through means that I haven’t decided on, gathers all the Primarchs in one room, locks the door, glues them to their seats, and lays it all out on them.*

He explains who he is, what his mission is, the nature and rise of Chaos, large parts of the Emperor’s plan, and all that. He tells them of all the potential futures, all the Heresies, the one where E decides to make Eye of Terror 2.0, one where all the Primarchs go balls to the wall mosh pit civil war, how each of them could/did fall, the War of Heaven, the Tyrranids, Necrons, Tau, many other subfactions, potential allies, those that would’ve been very helpful but were butchered, allies in one but not another, what E has done and his potential plans, their own half Warp entity souls, lots of history, lots of secrets exposed, what Jaune and crew have done, and so on.

He doesn’t hold anything back either. He rants on about how badly humanity has fallen, how logic and reason are replaced with fanaticism, progress with stagnation, the hypocrisy, the injustice, the stagnation and corruption of the Imperium, the bloated and rotting corpse of a once great civilization, the works. He even has a nice little partial Abominable Intelligence helping him out. It puts up all sorts of data, photos, videos, recordings, etc. to supplement Jaune’s rants. Just a little guy that gives intel like how Astartesanonymous, Majorkill, Isyanderandkoda, Livefromtheblacklibrary, Wes, and them give lore explanations.

 “But it’s only one guy who did a cute trick of keeping us in our seats and talks a lot, why should we believe him?” Sorry to do this to you Sanguinius, but he just casually drops the fact that your legion suffers from the Blood Thirst in front of everyone. The thing that you fought so hard to keep quiet from everyone and only a few even within your Legion knew about? Yeah that’ll get your attention, along with everyone else’s given how badly you react. Dropping a couple less dangerous secrets from the Lion’s assortment of secrets is also on the table. Pretty sure Alpharius wouldn’t mind getting pointed out as the actual first Primarch recovered, #sarcasm. He drops a little skeleton from each of their closets in front of everyone.

Suffice to say he isn’t going to be invited to any family cookouts after this.

He calls out each of them on their critical failures, dangerous shortcomings, hypocritical mindests, how easily they fell to Chaos, all the ways Papa E screwed up and is still screwing up, and more. All while calling them the stupid nicknames the Crew used. Mufasa, Simba, Long Johnson, for the Lion. Rowboat Girlyman, Bobby G, Robot Gorrillaman, for Robute. Fido, Balto, Scruffy, for Leman. And so on. He only calls them by their proper names once, at the very beginning when he was introducing himself and being respectful.

Is it smart to insult a room of the most powerful people in the galaxy and their daddy? Or talk down to them like the emotionally immature people they are? No. If it weren’t for the Goddess favor pinning them to their seats and disabling their gear and abilities he’d be dead and he knows that. They try to use their Primarch Aura on him, but after however long serving his Goddess he’s relatively immune to it. And he’s in such a IDGAF mindset that the most they get out of him is a raised eyebrow. It’d take one of the Chaos Gods’ or the Big E’s aura to really make him shake.

However pointing out flaws without a solution is just bitching. He gives credit where credit is due. He offers help and suggestions to a lot of their problems. He asks everyone to start appreciating Perty a little more, tells the Prophecy duo to get together and speak with some Farseers about their visions, commends the achievements of the Builder Brothers and ways to make their stuff even better, etc. He gives them self-help books, some psychiatric care books, and some insights from various sources to help out with some of their more human problems. God knows E isn’t helping them out with any of this.

Jaune had the foresight to make volumes of his findings. He drops many encyclopedias worth of books in front of them, all scaled up in size for their convenience. They hold everything. Names, dates, quotes, specifications, supply lines, blueprints, maps, numbers, persons of interest, items of interest, planets of interest, deamons of interest, xenos of interest, xenos that are beneficial to the galaxy and the Imperium, xenos that Leman can have fun exterminating, xenos that must be protected, xenos that can be uplifted, xenos that are up in the air, events that could happen, things that Jaune prevented from happening, nothing was left out. Not just books pertaining to the Primarchs and their dealing with Chaos, as both opponents and slaves to it, either. He also dumped books detailing events from the various futures for the next 10 millennia. Greatest victories, worst defeats, the breaking of the Legions, Successor Chapters, betrayals, redemptions, plots, plots within plots, the power of Faith, the detriments and benefits of groups like the Inquisition and Ecclesiarchy, the strength of character in Xenos races, and on and on and on. The Primarchs have quite a bit of reading to do.

Don’t worry Lemon Rush, you can still have your fun hunting down Xenos. Here’s a stack of books detailing all those filthy Xenos that are detrimental to the Imperium and galaxy at large! This lists where they are, what danger they pose, what their biology is, how best to kill them, and so on. Have fun!

Guilliman, here’s a stack for you regarding Xenos that are good guys that could use a hand. Vulcan, here’s a buncha worlds that could really use your more human touch. Horus, these worlds are major players so will be better won with your diplomacy. And so on.

So what is the Primarchs reaction? Do they accept the things he’s said? Do they bring this intelligence to the Emperor and Malcador? Do they take a hard look at themselves and decide to do better? Do they throw themselves at the feet of Chaos? Do they slow down the Crusade to better reinforce the reclaimed worlds? Do they help each other overcome their weaknesses and petty grievances so Chaos has less of a foothold on their souls? Do they exacerbate their flaws? Do they watch each other’s backs for Chaotic influence? Do they start training their Sons in Astartes vs Astartes combat? Astartes vs Chaos combat? Do they purge the corrupt members of their legions? Do they decide to eradicate the dangerous Xenos while uplifting the benevolent ones? Do they go hard in ways to better the Imperium? Do they become the mindless tools that E wanted them to be? Do they start to stand up to the Emperor and call him out on his shit when he needs it?

Jaune has no idea what they decided, or what any of their thoughts were. After he drops everything on them, gives them the books and AI, he walks out the door. His only thoughts were getting blackout drunk and working on the next step after the hangover. That particular conversation never left that room as far as he’s concerned or aware. He’s fully expecting any one of them to turn him into a red mist for his attitude, or a visit from the Banana Squad for a ‘chat’. He doesn’t even care what happens to him now.

He doesn’t even manage to find a bottle before he’s in trouble. He’s hit from the side, a mortal wound that kills slowly and painfully. However his attacker isn’t anyone from any branch of the Imperium. A deamon has been hunting him and his crew ever since he came back to the past. This is the thing that’s been orchestrating the deaths of his friends one by one. It’s very proud of its work and monologues like a cartoon villain. He just saved Jaune for last since he’s the leader. Something about helplessly watching as your friends are picked off as you can do nothing.

Taking this as confirmation that Jaune was doing the right thing he gets up for one last go. As noble as he is he can be a spiteful little shit, so he’s not going down without a fight. Jaune uses a single word of Enuncia to banish the demon, however his previous injuries and the power of the word kills him at the same time.

This is a good ending right? Did everything he could, gave those who hold the galaxy in their hands everything they need to keep things going right, gave a big middle finger to Chaos, the Emperor, and the demon, and died an unsung hero. Good place for retirement right?

However Jaune’s not done! The word quit doesn’t exist in his dictionary, especially when he knows that he was making a difference. Or was at least enough of a thorn in Chaos’ side to warrant a personal Demon after him. He reject’s his Goddess’ offer of a peaceful afterlife to go back for more. He’s a sucker for suffering sometimes. He crawls his way through the warp to be reborn in an Avatar type way. His DNA is identical, he holds the same kind soul and indomitable spirit, but he’s a fresh slate in everything else. The ‘current Jaune’ doesn’t know anything about the potential futures, his past lives, or any of that. The most that his original past self, the ‘original Jaune’, can do is subconsciously nudge him in what should be the right direction. Eventually the Demon, which I dub Little Timmy, comes back from the Warp to kill him again. To which Jaune’s original soul takes over in a sense, like how Ozma fights alongside his current host and body, and the two die in a draw yet again. Then he crawls back through the Warp to be reborn yet again, and so the cycle repeats.

Jaune does most everything during this series of cycles. Was an Astartes for each of the legions at least once even the Lost 2, guardsman, Commisar, Rouge trader, mechanicum, planetary lord, bounty hunter, Psyker, Blank, anything and everything as long as it wasn’t under E’s direct oversight like the Inquisition, Assassinorum, Custodes, and the like. Not to say he hasn’t tangoed with and against such organizations over the cycles.

Despite having the same face and dna, he���s missed completely by those in the know. Besides the fact his Goddess is blocking certain figures’ sight from recognizing him properly, think how just a piece of fabric over the eyes works for most heroes identities, he’s just one guy in trillions of trillions in that particular sector. They might have an idea of ‘that guy seems familiar’ in a déjà vu kind of way, but easily dismiss it. How common are blue eyed blonde dudes? The only confirmation that the Primarchs get that Jaune has been reborn again is during or after his fight with Little Timmy. Jaune leaves a message or calls them or whatever, and the original soul makes sure he calls them by one of the stupid nicknames from the chew out session. Who else would have the balls to call Ferrus Manus Tin Can Sam, or can tell the difference to know which TweedleTwin he’s talking to? Not like they can do much by the time/if they get the message, he died in the duel again. They’re lucky to find parts of his body from the fight. Little Timmy tends to desire a lot of collateral whenever possible, and Jaune isn’t always the roided up transhuman super soldier to trade blows so he has to get creative when he fights.

*As everyone else is stuck to their chairs, Jaune is standing on the table to look them in the eyes and move around easier. Also allows him to move close enough to the Primarchs to drop the reading material in front of them, but not close enough to be grabbed. It’s a funny image, but couldn’t find a spot where it would fit so here it is.

~

I have no idea where some of this should go, but I know that it should be a mess of things anyway because it’s 40K. As much as I don’t want any of the Primarchs taken by Chaos now that they have guidebooks on what to look out for and just how fucked that would be if they do, I can see a few of them falling anyway. Fulgrim for instance. I can see him taking the Laer Blade just to try and show Jaune that ‘Oh look, I guess you were wrong and I am strong enough to carry a demonic blade and not get corrupted!’ That’s the reason he talked down to you like a child, ya Purple Nurple! I love the idea of Snakegrim and Clonegrim duking it out, a duel of both loyalties and ideals. Although from what I hear from the various fangroups I’m in we probably won’t see that. Dangit GW. You’re missing a trunkful of easy money.

I’m not sure how the other Primarchs should be affected by Jaune’s meddling either. Angron was just an easy picking on how to change things up.

[wonderlandleighleigh]

A Fashionable People short, taking place while Midge is still in the hospital after “On the Other Foot.”

Susie doesn’t sleep for a week.

A fucking week, and she cannot force herself to go to sleep, because every time she closes her eyes she sees her best friend, lying helplessly in that awful hospital bed, surrounded by her family and Lenny and Imogene and it’s just-

It’s too fucking awful.

So she smokes, and she drinks and she paces and she watches some TV and she reads, and she does a crossword puzzle, and she smokes and drinks some more, and nothing fucking does it.

So she braves the cold weather and heads to the hospital. 

Midge blinks at her, frowning in confusion. “Are you actually here, or am I just on the good stuff?” 

“Both,” Susie tells her, pulling up a chair. “Couldn’t sleep.” 

Midge nods, reaching out her good hand to pat Susie’s. “Believe me, I get it. It’s not easy to get any sleep here…doctors and nurses running around…the bed stinks, the pillows are flat.” 

“Yeah, well, it’s a hospital, not the Plaza Hotel,” Susie reminds her. “And they’re gonna let you out soon.” 

Midge huffs and shrugs, wincing a little. “Sure, they will.” 

“Hey,” Susie snaps. “You’re gonna get outta here, your gonna get better and you’re gonna get the fuck back to work.” 

Midge smiles just a little and nods. “Okay, Susie.” 

“You’re damn right, okay,” the older woman grumbles. She stays quiet for a long, long moment. “So…Lenny was with you when they brought you in.” 

“Yeah, he was,” Midge confirms. 

They both go silent after that, letting it hang in the air. 

“He’s in love with you,” Susie tells her. 

“Yeah,” Midge mutters.

“He’s also got an arrest record as long as your arm, and a really big fucking drug problem,” Susie reminds her. 

“Yeah,” Midge repeats. 

“He’s not exactly a nice, Jewish boy from the Upper West Side,” Susie points out, sitting back and crossing her arms. 

“Neither was Joel,” Midge counters. “And even when I found one of those, it didn’t exactly work out.” 

“Joel didn’t have the United State Government and a raging drug problem to contend with,” Susie argues. “Look, I get it. The guy’s good looking, he’s funny as fuck, you’ve been friends for a while now. I just wanna make sure you know what you’re getting into.” 

"I do know," Midge says softly. "But he gets it, Susie. It's not just that he's funny and attractive. It's that he gets what I'm- what we're trying to do. And he wants me to succeed."

Susie sighs softly and nods. "While we're talking about the men in your life, there is one thing I gotta come clean about."

Midge gives her a shocked look. "You fucked Lenny, too?"

"You fucked Lenny?!" 

"Say it louder, I don't think the corpses in the morgue heard you." 

"How long has that been going on?"

"Since the night before Carnegie hall…"

"That's good, though. We can spin thar. Two good friends, fallin' into each others' arms the night before his big gig, and then you get hit by a car. The optics on that ain't bad."

"You had something to tell me," Midge reminds her. 

Susie nods slowly, blowing out a breath. "It's about Joel?"

"You fucked Joel?"

"Fuck no, I know where he's been."

Midge laughs and winces. "Okay, that was funny. What about Joel?"

And Susie tells her. About the gambling. About losing so much of her hard earned money and going to Joel for help. About letting Joel manage her finances. 

Midge stays quiet, taking it all in. 

"You hate me now," Susie surmises. 

"I…don't," Midge admits. "Before my accident, I might have. But you shouldn't trust Joel with money. He is bad with money."

Susie stares at her, shocked. "Fuck, I thought the stereotype about Jews and money existed for a reason,” she half-jokes.

"For every last one of us except Joel," Midge jokes back. "When we were married I would try to ask about our finances and he'd tell me we were fine, but we were actually living beyond our means."

"Shit."

"Yeah."

"Shit!"

Midge nods. "Yeah."

“I gotta get your money and find someone who knows what the fuck they’re doing,” Susie says.

“Yeah.”

“I thought because he cared about you so much-”

“Yeah, no.”

“Fuck. I’m sorry, Midge.” 

Midge nods. “I am, too. That plan of mine…it was awful, and I was awful, and I just- I had my head so far up my ass and then-” 

“Hey,” Susie says. “You can’t think about that now, you gotta focus on getting better. Cuz when you get outta here, we got work to do. Right?” 

Midge nods, looking grateful. “Right.” 

They sit in silence for a little while before Midge speaks again. 

“Susie?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Don’t ever make decisions about the money without me again.” 

“Yeah.”

[shuinami]

Got any Encanto unpopular opinions that you’d like to share? 🙈

No, damn it, but since you want to draw me out, here I go 😭😭😭:

(Also, if I get proven wrong on any of these, I'll fully accept the L 😫)

Starting off with my staple, I don't think Isabela and Dolores are true besties. I think they're close, but not besties, at least not at the time the movie was taking place, but maybe when they were younger.

In the same vein, I have the exact same feelings about Mirabel and Camilo, except I think they'd be less close than Isabela and Dolores.

I don't think Mariano was intended to come across as unintelligent as the fandom has made him out to be. I feel like everyone took Mirabel name-calling him a "big dumb hunk" wayyy too literally, but the creators are probably gonna run with the fandom take now.

And I think his poems and songs would be good. This is meta but Maluma (Mariano's VA) started out songwriting because he wrote ghost-wrote love poems for his friends to impress gyaldem and it worked, and then he went on to become a global popstar (purr). Disney has based little details off of the VAs in the past so... 🧐 Like, put some respect on my man's name, he may be stupid in love but he can write a banger for sure

I think Bruno - rightly - grew a bit bitter towards the Encantownies for always blaming him for everything.

I don't think Dolores knew for sure that Bruno was still in Casita, just had a suspicion (because, as well, who tf would guess they have secret corridors and rooms in the walls of their house?)

This one is a bet, but I'm a gambling gyal: I don't think Isabela will be able to grow fruit and veg post-rebuild 😬 (not that I know of some scientific difference, I just don't think that's the metaphor)

I think Camilo's VA might get recast if they do a series instead of a sequel 💀 Love Rhenzy but I get the vibe that it was just a bag and a cool opportunity to him but not something he's invested in

I don't think Antonio would go vegetarian or vegan or anything like that, I think he becomes really mature to the madness within the animal kingdom so a lot of stuff wouldn't bother him as much as it would other people.

I don't think Dolores' power is as bad or overwhelming for her as the fandom makes it out to be. She looked fine with the fireworks, all she did was cover her ears, but was still smiling and enjoying herself. Fireworks are LOUD, I even cover my sub-par ears for fireworks, christmas crackers, party poppers, etc. Ole girl is fine, especially considering her gift.

I don't think the family were that tight before the house crumbled. I think they were mostly wrapped up with their own shit cause when I think of 'dysfunctional family that lives in the same house', I think of the drama series, Greenleaf. If you've never watched, it's basically pure unadulterated mess, secrets, lies and drama. Sure the family have their moments, their bonds, but in general everyone's got their own bs to deal with. So, whilst, of course they do a lot together, (and it's a Disney family so it won't be as intense) I feel like they don't really pour their hearts out and support each other in a very genuine way until they start working on changing the family dynamics when they rebuild Casita.

Okay, that's all the hot takes that I could think of for now...

[mrskurono]

Oh my god I am literally foaming at my mouth, the Utahime piece you wrote was soooo fucking g o o d. Not to mention your other stuff is just as great o o f

On the topic of Utahime, could I ask for the $25 one for her as well? Woman;;; pretty and hot need more content for her.

Seriously where has this blog been all my life lmao

a/n: ehehe thank youuu <3 I hope you were able to find the other Utahime stuff on here/my ao3 too! She's my wife god I love that woman and there's never enough Utahime <3

A gamble…will it pay off?

$25 for the beautiful sorcerer and you won...futa!Utahime with reader!

tags: fem!Reader, futa!Utahime, mean!Utahime, dubcon ish, senior student/teacher relationship, age gap, oral (giving), throat fucking, rough sex, unprotected sex, vaginal sex, creampie, multiple orgasms, name calling

-> Check out the other slot boys and girls <-

You saw it. 

Then promptly tried not to acknowledge it. You knew what happened to students that got on Ms. Utahime’s bad side. And you didn’t want to be that student. A teacher’s pet, in trouble! 

You couldn’t. You wouldn’t. Anything just so Ms. Utahime didn’t get mad at you when you saw her jerking off in the classroom.

“What do you think you were doing?” Utahime demanded. Fistfuls of your hair with her cock sheathed in your mouth. You gargled on his length while your eyes water and nose ran. Staring up at her with the most pathetic look on your face until she sighed and pulled her cock from your lips, “Spying on a teacher? I should report you for sneaking around the grounds you know.”

“Ms. Utahime no!” You pleaded, “I wasn’t sneaking! I was coming to grab my books. Please don’t tell on me-”

Cock pressing into your cheek, she hummed and looked to be thinking it over, “Hmm...lying....and I thought you were such a model student...”

“I am!” You cry out, “I am a good student! Please Ms. Utahime I’ll do anything- Anything you want.”

Shifting her tip against your lips. Utahime pushed past them and shoved her cock back into your mouth. Groaning lowly when your tongue wiggled against her shaft and the woman smiled, “Maybe I can look past this one transgression...for a price.”

Eagerly you nodded. Quick to catch on. You clasped your hands around your length. Desperate to suck her off. Tongue lapping at her slit as you couldn’t fit all of it in your mouth. Hands stroking the rest of her as Utahime held onto your head.

“Fuck- That’s a good girl- Shit- Your gonna make me cum.” Utahime grunted. Rutting her hips into your mouth. Forcing her cock down your throat as you gagged and tried to take her. It didn’t matter though your teacher fucked herself into your throat without a care. Cock swelling. Then the twitch of her tip against the back of your throat. Leaving you to sputter and choke on the cum washing down your throat.

“Mmm, fuck- That’s right, drink it. Drink it all fucking whore.” Utahime held your face until you were done swallowing.

When you popped off her cock for a gasping breath. You could taste the muskiness of her cum on your lips. It lingered as you felt your own wetness growing.

“And what do we have down there...” Utahime pushed you over. The older sorcerer getting between your legs as she pulled at your soaked panties, “You get this wet sucking a cock? You really are a slut aren’t you?”

“Ms. Utahime-” Your whine was more of a moan. 

Slit soaked. Her cum making you lick your lips. You saw her cock still throbbing between her legs. Hard as could be even after that load.

“I think we’ll make this an extracurricular-” Utahime rubbed her cock up against your puffy slit.

“Your too big- Ms. Utahime-” You moaned. The underside of her cock hitting your clit. Immediately making you shudder and twist under her.

“Look how badly you want me. My cock. Fucking whore.” She positioned herself at your entrance. All at once slipping her cock into you without resistance, “Won’t fit? Hehe, looks like your cunt wants more.”

More is exactly what you got. Her hips snapping into yours. Driving her cock into you fully each time. You couldn’t even catch a breath as Utahime fucked you harder. Both your tits bouncing. Until the elder sorcerer leaned down and pressed her body into yours. Feeling your tits jiggle against her own as her cock pressed right into your cervix.

“Look at you- Fuck- Sucking me in like this- Taking all of me-” Utahime grunted above you, “Looks like a found a new way to help my problem.”

Fucked right out of your mind. Cock hitting all the places you didn’t even know existed. You couldn’t do anything but let out a string of lewd noises as Utahime snapped her hips into you.

“Mmm fuck- Fucking one of my own students- I shouldn’t cum this fast- Not after one go but- Shit-” Utahime caged you between her arms. Driving her cock into you mercilessly, “Mm fuck- Gonna cum. Be a good girl and take it all- Take all teacher’s cum you slut-”

What you thought was a big load down your throat. Hailed in comparison to what she filled you up with. Swearing even in your fucked out daze that her cock got bigger inside you. Utahime’s cum flooded your insides. Hot sticky ropes burning your insides as she kept pushing deeper and harder. Really seeding as deep as she possibly could. All until you couldn’t even feel if she was cumming anymore.

“There.” Utahime propped herself back up. Cock slipping from your soiled cunt as her cum oozed out of your splayed legs. To your amazement her cock still looked hard as could be. Utahime smiling as you could hardly form a coherent sentence, “I think I’ve found my new cumdump. And she’s cute as can be.”