#gonna link this in my pinned for quick access

[torchiiko]

where to find me in case tumblr dies

i dont wanna spread panic but i DO wanna make sure ive got backups in place in case smth does end up happening in the future instead of scrambling last-minute to find everyone. id prefer us all in the same place ofc & i wont leave tumblr until it completely ceases to exist, so this is all a precaution for now

first up, i wanna make it clear that i will have the same username across every platform im on! i have no plans to be anything other than Torchiiko as long as im able to. if you cant find Torchiiko on a site, im probably not there! next i wanna mention my carrd [torchiiko.carrd.co]. its where ill keep my links if you ever need them, so if tumblr explodes my carrd is the first place to check for other places to find me!

artfight [artfight.net/~Torchiiko] - more of a big art trading game than a social media. i dont log in much in the off-season, but i try to participate in july!

bluesky [@torchiiko.bsky.social] - like twitter but before that idiot ruined it. i dont use it much since i prefer being able to make longer posts but in a pinch i may switch over

discord [Torchiiko] - you guys know discord. its a messaging app & will probably be the best place to reach me since i get mobile notifs (unless they decide not to do their job for no reason. happens a lot :/)

flight rising [Torchiiko] - dragon petsite :) doubt anyone will need to find me there but its An Option

pillowfort [pillowfort.social/torchiiko] its Kinda like tumblr?? has a short waitlist tho. i forgot i had one so its Empty but it might just be my first choice if i need to migrate

neocities [torchiiko.neocities.org] - personal website! theres nothing on it rn but i Believe you can follow sites for updates. youll need html knowledge to make your own tho

toyhouse [toyhou.se.com/Torchiiko] - invite only (but its Not hard to get a code), primarily a character storage site with forums. i check in now & then but dont tend to post much. you can always look at my ocs without an account!

twitch [twitch.tv/torchiiko] - i stream sometimes btw. i usually forget to announce it so you can follow me there if you want stream notifs 👍

[simspaghetti]

i aspire to edit like you - please give me some advice so i can be as good as you = where do you get all those cute phone things / emails / icons / boxes etc. ps. love you <3

Hiya lovely!! Thank you so much that's really kind of you to say <3<3

You asking this made me realise I haven't done a full resource list for editing yet :O

Before I start, I'm gonna give a BIG shoutout and recommendation to Honeywine sims' Sims 3 Resources for Storytelling & Screenshots list - if you're looking to improve your screenshots then the tutorials linked on there are a very very good place to start :)

Anyway, here is just the stuff I personally use:

My Simblr Editing Resource List:

TS3 Ultimate Icon Collection from MTS

Trait Images from TheSimsWiki OR Here by Hexagonal Bypyramid

TS2 High-Quality Icon Pack by EddySims

Sims 4 Icon Collection

Sebastian Hyde's Sims Icon Portfolio (requires a bit more editing as you need to erase the background & isolate the icon - but the TS3 ones tend to be much higher quality, so for certain stuff it's worth the effort)

Created by me:

Blackout UI Gameplay PSD Collection (includes moodlet, wish & career templates) - CleanUI Versions here: Moodlet & Wish / Career

Photography / Camera Template

Interaction Box Templates

Notification Templates

Location Templates

Any more PSDs I create in the future can always be found linked here

Created by others:

AwkwardWhims PSD Collection (I have made a personal edit of these to make them dark-mode)

Windslars PSD Collections (both versions - again I've edited these for personal use)

Simblr trading card - I have borrowed the Skill Template from these

LoeySims PSD

Sterina-Sims' PS Action

The full tutorial on how I made my editing bases is here (aka making the curved outline and combining the PSD & action templates)

BePixeled Gradient Backgrounds - I use these for photoshoots etc.

I use Photopea to edit everything - It's a free, online alternative to adobe photoshop

I have a folder on my desktop with alllll the PSDs & resources I need in it

Then inside that I have a sub-folder containing my main editing bases & any of the UI PSDs I use super regularly

When I go to start an editing session, I open up the sub-folder (called 'quick editing access' - I have it pinned to my file explorer as well) and just select all the PSDs to open altogether in Photopea

Then I go from there just going with vibes & screnshot framing to judge what size template to put my screenshots in

I know some of ya'll will just want the links to resources, so I've kept my editing advice behind the cut for those who are curious ⬇️

My (kind of embarrassing) Credentials:

Here is a comparison of what my edited content used to look like back when I first started Simblr 5 years ago VS. what it looks like today - I'm gonna now dissect what made the biggest difference for me in improving my editing game

Obviously adding visual interest to your screenshots with icons, UI elements etc. does help them look more interesting - but for me the biggest difference between these two pictures actually comes down to colour grading, lighting, camera angles and overall staging

To break down the differences more visually:

So, how did I make my screenshots better?

1: Work out what visual style you want your simblr to be, and start emulating that style in your game

A lot of this actually comes down to the aesthetic things you do in-game before even taking the screenshots (eg: what skin you use, the kind of outfits and colour-scheme you dress your sims with and how you furnish their homes)

I'm sure you know a few simblrs off the top of your head that you like the content of, look through their posts and figure out what stands out about the ones you particularly like Is it the colour scheme? How are they staging their camera angles? How are their sims styled & dressed? Most simblrs have resource pages you can scroll through which will tell you exactly what aesthetic mods they are using to make their game look the way it does & sometimes they also have CC finds blogs where you can find similar clothing & cc to the stuff they use

To break this down in practice: I realised that I really like a maxis-match style when it comes to how my sims & their homes look, I want it to look simple, kind of cartoony and visually quite colourful So, when I went on a CC shopping spree to do a visual overhaul in my game a few years ago, and I only downloaded stuff that fit into that style I was looking for skins and hairs which had flat, less detailed textures, and objects / clothing that had been converted from other sims games to TS3 - if you like alpha style instead then you can only shop for stuff that fits in with that, or if you like a specific vibe (such as cottagecore) then only look for themed cc etc. etc.

2: Use Reshade, seriously!

I put off using reshade for the longest time because I thought that it was complicated to install & use - and while (like with everything) there is a learning curve, I got my head round it really quickly and now I use it without thinking

Again my advice for finding presets would be to look at simblrs you admire and find what presets they're using - or search up 'Reshade Preset' on tumblr and just pick one you like the look of - this will really come down to personal preference & what kind of vibe you're going for in your game

3: Colour-Grading & aesthetic design

I'm not the greatest decorator or home builder when it comes to creating something entirely off the top of my head with no reference, so when I'm building homes or decorating a room I always like to look on websites like Pinterest for inspiration

For example, here is a bedroom I recently designed based off a pinterest room - I added in some decor objects which are more specific to my sim's personality, but you can see the basic colour scheme & vibe is very similar to the other photo

In terms of picking a colour scheme for sims & their homes, I always use their favourite colour & traits as a guiding tool - this makes all of my sims look more unique and have a clear & defined sense of personal style that really helps me when coming up with ideas for decorating

Can you guess my sim Betty's favourite colour? lol - but having red as a starting point seriously helped me when deciding what vibe to go with for her bedroom, I just looked up 'cosy red bedroom' and that picture popped up - she's also a Snob and a Virtuoso, so I decided she'd probably be a classical music buff & a fan of old Hollywood - and I incorporated those aesthetics by using vintage posters and some music decor objects such as the CDs on the floor

I know this probably seems like it’s not relevant to photo editing but it 100% is - you need to have well-designed rooms and sims in order to take good photos!

4: Experiment with camera angles

This one is really difficult to describe but I'm gonna give a recent example of a screenshot I took:

You can see the second one (from a higher angle) is much more visually interesting and IMO just looks a lot better With the first one, I'd probably be inclined to put a moodlet or something over the empty space - whereas the second picture is full enough on its own not to need anything else

5: Useful mods & game cheats for you to know...

Game Cheats: -> hideheadlineeffects ON hides most of the headline effects like speech bubbles, plumbobs etc. -> moviemakercheatsenabled TRUE You need to do testingcheatsenabled true first but this cheat basically allows you to direct your sims to do any animation you want, which is useful for posing or storytelling purposes -> moveobjects ON I assume you already know about this cheat, but I use it all the time for moving my sims to a better location for screenshots - you do have to reset the sim afterwards though otherwise they will get stuck in the floor lol

Mods: -> no drift / lower level camera mod Allows you to get to those more interesting angles I was talking about earlier! -> Create your own visual effects mod Follow the instructions and create your own custom mod to remove the effects that you don't like the look of (eg: I got rid of the university life social boost things cos they annoy me) -> No camera fade Allows you to get way more up close & personal with your sims! -> Sethour cheat Suuuuper useful for scenery pictures or photoshoots

I hope that's useful, honestly, just keep at it! Keep experimenting, keep posting and make mental notes of what performs well vs. not well - the only way to get better is with lots and lots of practice in my experience

Like 5 years ago I had no idea how to use anything on photoshop - and now I'm really familiar with most of the tools - It took me a long time to get to this point, so don't beat yourself up if you're just starting out and stuff isn't looking how you want it to - just use it as motivation to try and get better!

Youtube / blog tutorials and other simblrs resource lists are your best friends when it comes to learning how to improve your game style & when learning how to use photo-editing tools :)

Also, an important final note is that I really really enjoy photo editing, it's part of the fun of playing the game for me! - If you don't, that's totally fine! Don't force yourself to do something you don't enjoy, you can just post your screenshots no matter how they look, this is simblr after all, we're all posting about games which are decades old atp, it's really not that serious :P

[saxxxology]

Nonstop | Drabble

PAIRING: Alpha!Sam Winchester x Omega!Reader

WORD COUNT: 809

WARNINGS: a/b/o dynamics, smut, oral sex, multiple orgasms, creampie

NOTE: This story was posted to Patreon in October 2023. To get access to dozens of new stories like it, click the link below to become a Patron!

⭒ become a patron for just $3 ⭒

I do not consent to minors (17-) reading my work. This story is 18+ only. Do not save, download, or repost my work on any other sites.

It had started out slow — gentle touches under the covers as they allowed their bodies to wake on their own time. It was meant to be quick, maybe five minutes of grinding and thrusting until they got what they wanted, and that’s exactly what had happened.

But it hadn’t stopped.

Neither of them can remember the last time they woke up with this much desire in them, or the last time they’d been able to make it work this good, but when they’d ended round one with even more lust and need in them, they’d just gone with it, ignoring the two alarms he’d set for work the night before.

He’s made her cum twice, the first time on his cock, the second time when he’d slipped down beneath the covers and tongued her until he felt her thighs shake and she’d squirmed away with a plea for a quick break that he barely gave before shoving her legs apart and sliding back inside.

“Holy fuck—” she tips her head back, reaching up to grab hold of the pillow above her head, “Sam, please…”

“What?” He leans back, skimming his hands down her ribs and over her belly, “too much?”

“No, no,” she takes a quick breath, and he watches her rock her hips up to feel him move inside her, “don’t wanna make a mess.”

He chuckles, leaning down just enough to kiss her, “we made a mess already, don’t know how we could make it worse.”

She doesn’t get a chance to respond before he’s fixing his grip on her waist and pinning her in place against the mattress. The heavy slap of his hips hitting hers fills the room, and she only makes it a few rough strokes before she can’t hold back the sweet whimpers and moans that drive him absolutely crazy.

Her nails dig into his skin, and he grits his teeth at the sting, letting out a grunt that makes her tighten around him. She loves it when he’s loud, and he doesn’t hold back on giving her what she wants. He can get one more out of her if he really works for it.

He’s almost lightheaded when he feels her start to tense up again, and she tips her head back, mouth open as she works a hand down between her legs and touches herself just enough to help him out. Her thighs shake, and he collapses over her, thrusting through the strong waves of her orgasm as she whimpers and moans in his ear.

She lets out a breathy giggle when he rolls her over and tugs her hips up into the air. Two pillows get stuffed under her waist to keep her propped up, and he takes a moment to sit back and stare at the mess they’d made between her legs, where there’s just a little bit left of his first release mixed with the slick of all three of hers. He wants to knot her so fucking bad and and it kills him that he’s not going to be in rut for another month.

She lets out a heavy breath when he pushes in, teasing her inch by inch until she’s stuffed full of him and he can feel her squeezing around him, teasing him right back.

“Go harder,” she whimpers, “please—”

He shifts his weight behind her, catching his breath as his hands slide up and down her sides. “Y’sure?”

She nods eagerly, sucking in a deep breath that almost makes her dizzy. “Yeah, I can take it.”

“Good girl.” He squeezes her hips, and she clutches at the bedsheets when he finally gives in to his own lust and ruts forward as hard as he can. She bites down on a knuckle, eyes shut tight as she takes every heavy thrust that has her practically crying from the overstimulation.

“Fuck—” he curls over her, one arm wrapping around her waist to keep her against him as his orgasm starts to peak, “gonna come in you, baby, you want that?”

She nods as best she can, lips parting as his teeth graze against the side of her neck. “Yes…”

“That’s my girl.”

She braces herself for it, unable to move her hips or legs as he uses his weight to keep her pinned underneath him. She can feel the start of it, a quick throb that’s matched with a deep grunt, and then a soft rush of wet heat inside her that makes her almost want to come again. He holds himself deep, fucking everything he’s got into her until she feel him relax. He stays inside her, moving up close to keep himself tucked deep as he dots her neck and shoulders with kisses that have her squirming.

“I’m calling out today,” he whispers against the back of her neck, “I’m not done with you.”

💕 Comments are lovely 💕

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[literallyjusttoa]

Hey guys! I'm putting out a call for my commissions again for two big reasons: One, Emergencies have caused me to be low on funds when I wasn't expecting it, and that kind of sucks actually. Two, I have a project that I've been dreaming about for years but have actually been able to start working towards in the last couple of months, but to finish it I need to not be living paycheck to paycheck for like a month at the very least, which brings me back to point one :(. I will talk more about the big project under the cut, bc I think it's something you all might really enjoy!

But for now, I will link my commission sheet: Here (It's also my pinned post)

And my new Ko-fi!: Here for if you just want to donate, which would be literally incredible and I would owe you my soul actually.

Ok now for big Project Time!!!

I am in the process of editing and revising my first Youtube video! This has been an on and off dream of mine for like 7 years at this point, but I've finally taken the plunge and gotten to work on a channel. I wanna talk about all sorts of fandoms (including the riordanverse ofc) With videos ranging from plot and character analysis, to trends in fandom culture in general, to fun little ranking videos and speedpaints. All around, I just want the channel to be a fandom hive, where everyone can find something they enjoy.

I already have PNG's created of my sona to use as assets (And I have a sparkly new sona, the one in the pic above!) and I have two finished scripts, with the first one being fully recorded as well! One for my first video, which will be a retrospective on Gravity Falls, and one for a video about the Percy Jackson TV show, the inherent differences between TV and books as mediums, how I think the TV show could improve, and the things I think it got perfectly. I also have a bunch more ideas, such as:

BIG Trials of Apollo video essay, with a focus on how the books and the fandom have effected me over the years.

Ranking all of my favorite characters from all of the media I've been a fan of over the years (This would be over 70 characters)

Explaining the Iliad, but make it funny (with a side of Troy apologia)

Reading Lore Olympus and pointing out how it deviates from myth (the things I'm willing to do for you people /j)

Canon vs. Fanon, where I compare a characters canon characterization with their fanon counterpart and try to figure out how things turned out the way they did.

And more, but I don't want this post to be 5000 words long.

Now here's the big question. As I said in the part above, I'm struggling a bit now money-wise. And I really wanna make this project work, but there's also, you know. Tuition. Rent. Food. Stupid other adult stuff. So if anyone is amenable (and this is totally up to demand, I don't wanna pressure anyone into doing anything!) I was also thinking of maybe making a Patreon. Now, I'd have to do research for this, bc I wanna make sure anyone who signed up would get the right rewards and really get the bang for their buck. I'm pretty sure there's not gonna be much interest in this rn, cuz like, I'm not that big of a blog oof. But if anyone is interested! Here are some of the perks I would definitely be implementing! (sry it's another list)

Early access to videos, and behind the scenes looks at art assets and video creation

the ability to request topics for videos

Patrons names being shown in the videos. And higher tiered patrons getting custom chibis that will be shown in videos as well (and given to the patrons obv)

This ones a bit complicated, but I want to create a cover of a song that has to do with each video to play during their outros. So like, for the gravity falls video, I'm gonna record a quick cover of the Disco Girl song from the show. Only a small section of the song would be in each video, but patrons would get access to the full covers, and be able to request songs to be covered.

Discounts on commissions

A monthly speedpaint that would be exclusive to patreon. Patrons would be able to vote on what the drawing would be.

All of these ideas I'm 100% sure I want to add to a patreon if I make one, but obv there could be more that comes up later. I'm just gauging interest on this idea rn, so let me know if that's something you'd be down to sign up for! Maybe I'm jumping the gun here but I'm just really excited to create and give back to the community and aaahhhhh

Now, no matter what, I'm gonna have this first video out by mid-September at the latest. Because stupid money troubles are not gonna stop me from making this a thing dangit. So look out for that, I'll link the vid here when it releases! But I am just really stressed rn and any support would go a long way towards making this dream come true. And on that note, one more sappy real talk if I am allowed it?

If you've read this far, from the bottom of my heart, thank you. This community and fandom is truly incredible. My blog is about to reach 5 years old, and I've never seen a group of people so accepting and creative and just fun to be around. You guys have truly changed my life, and I wouldn't have the courage to try for this if I didn't have the support you've given me. I know this is super dramatic for just trying to make a youtube channel, but making a place where I could just talk about all the nerdy and overly specific things I care about and share them with the world is something I've wanted for my whole life. You guys gave me that with this blog, and if this channel works out, it'll be thanks to you, so you'll have given it to me twice. I don't have the words to express how much I love this community and all the incredible people in it. So even if you can't support, just know that being here for however long you have been, whether it's the whole five years or the last two days, has done more than you'll ever know. You guys are the best, thank you for everything <3

[icy-watch]

are you ever gonna make a master post of your liveblogs? bcuz I wanna catch up on what you’ve watched, but it’s hard to scroll alllll the way back, yk?

I'd eventually like to, just to clean up all the subpages on my blog bc it looks like this and that's not all of them:

It makes me a little anxious with all of them. But there's links to every single episode on those pages.

My pinned comment on my blog has a little navigation to everything I've watched. But for quick access:

Ninjago

Monkie Kid

Dragons Rising (might need to be updated for last few episodes)

And movies

I'm trying to figure out how to make all of these more accessible to folks using the app, but it's going to take a little bit of work. It all works better on a browser (Opera, FireFox, Chrome, whatever you use) on your phone or desktop.

A couple of posts may be mis-tagged bc I haven't had a chance to go thru and fix things since... Tournament? So, it's been a hot minute.

But yeah, here's a way to maybe help you out.

[starsthoughtsonthings]

Putting this here because this is for now my pinned post: If you ever wanna talk or something, please feel free to reach out. I could always use more people to talk to - though I am shy and not good at social, so don't expect too much from me.

Made this blog, gonna start it off immediately so I don't forget about it, too.

Edited in: Link to her dress because I just shared it and I love it a lot!

Editing in some more links over time:

Tag for more info about Kori (her normal tag is also for pictures/recordings and stuff)

First post, of course, about my character. A lot of pics incoming, will try to put at least some of them below a cut.

So yes, this is my girl. Kori, or Star how she's also called. Elf sorceress with wild magic, lived her life in Baldur's Gate in their family estate without ever really leaving it. - Prefers fire and radiant spells, and has the spell for flight, I like to imagine that flight is either an innate part of her magic that she can like always access, or at least a thing that her wild magic tends to often give her. - Not really used to how people can be, she is very trusting and friendly and somewhat naive, and of course very easily swooned (and barely even realizing he might not mean everything) by the antics of a certain elf rogue that joins her group pretty early on in this adventure. If they would have met at a different situation, she would probably have been one of his easiest 'targets' to lure in.

Here's a pic of her outfit, and on the second/right pic how I would like for the colors to be (as a badly done quick edit). I haven't considered editing mods yet, though, so the blue thing is what you'll see on most of my screenshots even though I would prefer the purple silver because that's kinda her thing.

Yes, you might notice from her name and colors, she is based on Starfire, because I almost always go with a character like that.

I'll spam you with some more pictures (the cut was here first but I changed it to have this look better/shorter as pinned post), and I would like to note just how pretty this game looks a lot of the time. Like wow.

Okay, that's all I have to say for my first post. I don't know what tags to add - I don't think it'll show in tags anyway, but because it is about the game, I'll just throw the BG3 tag on and then it's done.

Down here I'll add links to other posts I made about her, until I figure out a tag to use for her I'll link the posts here so I can easier find them again.

Plan for the future

Foreheadtouchy bc I need to link it here

Summary of a few things happening within Act I of the game

Example of her "dynamic" with Astarion

How I'd like to do the confession scene

Sleep instead of Trance

Some thoughts and stuff about her

[pixiecaps]

that betrayal arc post is gonna be linked with the clips archive in my pinned in case anyone ever needs quick access to it :3👍

[bouncybrain]

I couldn’t edit my last pinned post on mobile so this is a remake where I hopefully will be able to continue editing it after my laptop dies, considering I’m writing it entirely on mobile, this time.

DO NOT REPOST MY WORK! This means both my art and writing. This means not giving it to AI.

REBLOGGING IS NOT REPOSTING. YOU SHOULD REBLOG ALL THE TIME.

This blog utilizes a custom theme on desktop, where additional useful pages are accessible. Otherwise, please use the links below to navigate to the most important places.

THESE ARE MY OTHER ACCOUNTS:

UnVale: [link]

CharacterHub: [link] (inactive, do not recommend; see below)

Art Fight: [blog page] with more links.

Toyhouse: [link]

Bluesky: [link] where I failed to get my proper username in time.

Pronouns.page: [link]

Chicken Smoothie: [link] I was gonna review this but I’m still figuring out how to format it

Discord: I change my name to BouncyBrain in all servers I join. Requests (friend/DM) are allowed only through shared servers. I am currently in public servers for UV, CH, Ellipsus, and PaperDemon. There are ChickenSmoothie UMA servers I’m in, but I won’t name them.

MY AO3: [works] [quick-reference masterlist]

MY ART: [everything] [fan and original characters] [just original characters]

BOUNCY REVIEWS:

CharacterHub (general): [page]

UnVale vs CharacterHub (comparison): [Part 1] [Part 2] (As of posting CH still has not taken a stance against allowing genAI on their platform, so I am currently strongly recommending UV over them purely because UV has a firm anti-AI stance, despite the current restrictions on posting.) (This got worse the longer I left this in my drafts.)

Ellipsus (beta): [post]

All (includes the above and others): [tag]

If you would like me to check out a (free) site, drop it in my inbox and I’ll see about it. Keep in mind I am but a poor, monolingual American.

Asks and Submissions are OPEN, anonymous enabled. Feel free to use them whenever you want idc

[webbedphantom]

Drabble #1 Explanation

Okay, so since I posted that drabble yesterday (linked here if you missed it), I figured it was a good idea to explain a few of the bits that go unexplained, since this is kinda in the middle of a larger story.

First off, the most obvious one; Shiho's disappearance. Why'd I do that? Well, for one thing, Aaron would've already had his powers by the time she "heads for the roof," so there was no way in hell he would've let her hit the ground. If he saw her up there, like he does in the game, he'd dive out the window to save her, no hesitation. Which would mean his secret would be out immediately, and that would severely limit what all I could do, so I took a different route.

Secondly: Did Kamoshida actually kidnap her? No. Surprisingly enough he had absolutely nothing to do with that, something that would later be proved by the "evidence" Aaron did all this to steal. But he was the prime suspect, and even if he wasn't, he still needed to go down, so down he went.

Third: So who did take her? Wouldn't you like to know~ But seriously, if you've been keeping up with these au thoughts posts, (don't blame you if you haven't. They're kinda all over the place) you can probably put together the pieces from what I've said about the first semester

Fourth: Why does Aaron's costume change mid-fight? And why was it different in the first place? The way I like to look at it is that his costume was unfinished before then. His awakening was unnatural and kind of forced, so while he had these powers, he didn't accept them. But each time he decides to put on the suit, he gets closer to that, culminating in the scene with Arsène at the beginning where he truly awakens to his power for the first time. But it still wasn't finished. He needed to test his resolve. And that's what happens during the fight. It's him deciding that no matter what happens, no matter what it costs, or how much it hurts, he will keep fighting for what he believes in. And because of that, he's able to access the rest of his powers, aka the webs.

Fifth: Okay, but why do the webs not act like webs? Why is it just a glob of sticky stuff? That ties into something I've explained before, and something that's in his character info doc. He has to wear some special bracelets he later invents to use the webs properly. But since he hasn't done that yet, it's just goo.

Sixth: What was with the headache at the beginning? Why's it brought up there, only to never happen again. That's something I probably could've done better, but basically the headaches are a result of him not accepting Arsène, yet still having him anyway. His mind is fighting itself, actively rejecting his other half, yet because of his awakening, he's also technically accepted his shadow. It's a paradox of sorts. He shouldn't have a Persona, but he does. Hence the headaches. Then once he actually accepts his Persona, no more headache.

Finally, what was up with that Makoto bit at the end? What was she talking about?

That is in reference to a scene from the fanfic proper (which I will link in my pinned at some point) but here's a quick rundown.

Basically, Aaron snuck into ShidoCorp for Futaba to get some more info on their parents, and more specifically, their deaths. Makoto catches him, but lets him stay because she didn't see him as being a bad guy.

But then he betrayed her trust, and snuck into his father's old lab, where the spider bite happened... among other things-

And you can bet, that breach of trust is gonna come back to haunt him eventually.

Anyways, that's it... I think. Might update this later if I think of anything else I need to clear up.

[abalidoth]

Die a Hainly or Live Long Enough to See Yourself Become the Vilia: Gender, Breath of the Wild, and Representational Sterility

Thanks to @start-anywhere for encouraging me to write this essay!

Major spoilers for Breath of the Wild, minor spoilers for Mass Effect Andromeda and Horizon: Forbidden West, as well as the Tears of the Kingdom trailer and H:FW Burning Shores.

cw: transmisogyny.

"Be careful playing the Gerudo segment," I heard from friends. "There's a transmisogynist joke there."

There's a lot I don't remember about 2017. That year was a perfect recipe for dissociation: I was finishing a very fraught and frustrating PhD dissertation and TAing at the same time, with very little sleep. I was constantly worrying about finding a job after graduation, and moving to a new city sight unseen. I spent the first two months of the year away from Emma for a math fellowship, the longest we'd ever been apart.

And on top of that, I was a closeted trans femme living in Laramie, Wyoming, a town famous for a homophobic hate crime, during the first year of the Trump administration. My gender pressure had been building for years, out to friends online but not to anyone in person save Emma. I knew I wasn't a man but the closest I could come to expressing it was wearing skirts at home, and nail polish on the weekends. (Apply Friday afternoon, remove Sunday evening, repeat weekly.)

But I do remember playing Breath of the Wild with Emma.

Zelda is in the DNA of our relationship -- Emma showed me Ocarina of Time before we even started dating, Twilight Princess was one of the first games we played through together, and I proposed to her with a ceramic replica I made of Anju and Kafei's wedding mask from Majora's Mask.

So, getting to play a new Zelda game -- an extremely good one, at that -- with her, during one of the worst years of my life, was an incredible beacon of light.

So the warning about a transmisogynist joke in the Gerudo segment was disappointing, but I kept it in mind as we played.

For those who haven't played the game, here's a quick synopsis of that quest: Link, our hero, needs to access Gerudo Town, a town of all women. (Sorta. Put a pin in that. 📌) You talk to a male shopkeep outside who tells you that he's heard "a man" has been "sneaking" into town, and he's waiting to catch a peek. Other (Gerudo) characters mention an odd human woman, a merchant, who hangs out on the roof of a bazaar a ways outside town. Up there you find Vilia.

(image source: Zelda Wiki, which correctly genders Vilia unlike some wikis 😒)

If you accuse her of being the "man in disguise" she brushes you off and won't speak to you further. If you compliment her, she'll offer to help you get into town, sell you the Gerudo clothing set (grab another pin 📍) and say how pretty you look, making Link blush. Then the wind will blow her veil aside, which we only see obliquely, but we do see that she has facial hair. Link acts surprised.

Okay. Let's unpack.

First off... Vilia is a trans woman with a beard. I'm just gonna treat that as a fact from this point forward. Everyone who actually interacts with her refers to her as a woman, she refers to herself as a woman, we will set "but maybe she's just a crossdresser" or whatever aside, she's a trans woman. With a beard.

Is that problematic?

A big theme of my evolution as a social justice advocate is that "problematic" is meaningless in a vacuum. The existence of a trans woman with a beard is not, itself, problematic. Otherwise that's pretty bad news for me, a trans femme with a beard.

But her depiction... There are definitely some elements of cultural transmisogyny being upheld here. Stubble is a common feature in popular caricatures of the Gross Tranny. Link's reaction being played for comedy makes Vilia's existence sort of a big joke.

And on a surface level examination, it looks like this is a straightforward "man dresses as woman to gain access to women's spaces" story, straight out of Joanne's Twitter-addled fever dreams.

But other than that, Vilia is pretty well treated by the narrative. All of the Gerudo refer to her as a little odd, but fundamentally a helpful person, and they respect her identity. It's clear when Link runs around Gerudo Town that multiple people clock him, but nobody ever throws him out because they just assume he's a trans woman and therefore implicitly welcome.

Vilia's character model isn't exaggerated in any way I'd consider transmisogynist, aside from the facial hair, and Link in the Gerudo outfit is, well, far from an unflattering portrayal.

And importantly, you cannot progress the main story if you misgender her.

There is no other way to get into Gerudo Town, and thereby the Divine Beast Vah Naboris, if you just say "you're a dude, right?" and don't walk it back. You can technically finish the game without any of the four Divine Beasts, but they make it MUCH easier, and a significant chunk of story is locked behind her quest.

So back in 2017 I played this, went "well that wasn't great but it wasn't as bad as I thought," and went on to wear the Gerudo outfit as much as humanly possible.

Flash forward to my 2023 replay, in anticipation of the sequel. I'm avidly curious to replay this section, given my evolution in my own gender understanding. (The first time around, I id'ed as genderqueer and Definitely Not A Guy but I'm not sure I was comfortable with "trans" yet, and definitely not "situationally a girl".)

Turns out? Vilia fuckin' rules. Gender icon. They hate to see a girlbeard winning.

Ok, I'm exaggerating. (A little.) But there is a reason I'm writing this essay, and I came away with a much improved sympathy for her character and her position in the story. I want to talk about why, but first let's clear a couple of those pins.

📌 The Gerudo are an all-female race. This is historically true in the Zelda games, with the single exception of Ganondorf, an ancient incarnation of evil who is born as the only make Gerudo once in an age. Ganondorf isn't in this game (though he is in the sequel!) so he's not relevant here. There are two things to note here: one, the Gerudo are nonwhite and heavily middle eastern coded. This is something I can't get into, as an Extremely White Person, but their interaction with gender is not without racial context and it would be irresponsible of me to not mention it.

But second, and the thing I will talk about, is that they seldom use the words "man" and "woman", but rather "voe" and "vai". We get these translated for us, but they are just that -- translations. They are gender concepts unique to the Gerudo that get mapped imperfectly to Hylian standards. The Gorons, a race of rock people who all use male pronouns and forms of address, are allowed into Gerudo Town, being "neither voe nor vai". And all of the Gerudo characters treat you differently when you're in the Gerudo clothing, even though it's clear that many of them have the perceptiveness to see through it.

I think it makes perfect sense to interpret "vai" as less "woman" and more "fem presenting". The Gerudo's actions are consistent (arguably, more so) if you do so.

📍The Gerudo armor. There's a few things to talk about here. First, Vilia sells it to you rather than just giving it to you. This seems a bit callous, but there's other similar monetary roadblocks in the game, and she's explicitly a traveling merchant and jewels are (as she says) expensive. I don't blame her.

The Gerudo armor is also, in game, pretty terrible. If you're wearing all three pieces you get a tiny bit of heat resistance, but it has basically no armor and can't be upgraded. There is a purchaseable "voe armor" with similar aesthetics but much better stats, but it can't be used to access Gerudo Town.

This is... Not ideal. I like to run around in the Gerudo armor because Link looks absolutely adorable in it; that was more of a priority back then than it is now that I have my own fem wardrobe, but it's still true. I wish it could be upgraded. I also wish you could just wear whatever armor aesthetically and get a different set of bonuses.

Okay. Now. To explain what it is I actually like about Vilia's portrayal, I want to talk about two other transfeminine characters from open world games: Hainly Abrams from Mass Effect: Andromeda and Wekatta from Horizon: Forbidden West.

Hainly Abrams is a scientist on the planet Prodromos in Mass Effect: Andromeda. In her first conversation with you, you can ask her why she came to Andromeda, and she says she was looking for a fresh start for her transition, and then... weirdly deadnames herself, in a way that feels utterly alien to anyone who's interacted with trans people. BioWare took criticism on this... sort of, and patched that conversation to only happen after you gain her trust by saving her fiance. But it's still extremely jarring. I cannot find information about her voice actress.

Wekatta is a troop leader of the Sky Clan Tenakth in H:FW. Like Vilia, the narrative is actually somewhat cagey as to whether she's a trans woman or not. I don't believe anyone actually refers to her with she/her pronouns, unlike Vilia, and the closest she gets to saying she's trans is

Aloy: And you think he's crazy for trying?

Wekatta: I'm not a fan of that word. When I chose to wear a woman's armor, people called me crazy, too.

Wekatta only shows up for a single minor side quest, and doesn't really get to actually do anything. She is at least voiced by a trans voice actress, Rebecca Root.

Both of these portrayals are mostly free of overt transmisogyny. Hainly deadnames herself in a strange and off-putting way, and Wekatta's portrayal is ambiguous to the point of over-caution, but there's not much that could be read as a transphobic joke like in Vilia's story.

They're also both boring as heck. And neither of them really feels trans.

Both of these characters feel like existing bit-player characters with one "bee tee dubs, I am A Tran" line slapped into their dialog. Sure there isn't anything overtly wrong with that kind of representation, if it's done carefully, but this is "minor character mentions he has a husband" rep, not "on-screen gay kiss with main character" rep. (Side note, though, good for Guerrilla for making Aloy canonically queer in Burning Shores. Haven't played it yet but I'm stoked to. Hell yeah.)

Vilia, as problematic as elements of her portrayal are, feels like a real transfeminine person. She feels more like me. Her gender is kinda messy! She has a girlbeard! She gets to call you out if you misgender her!

And best of all, her interactions with Link (excluding the shocked face at the end, which is pretty annoying) can be read very easily as an older, more experienced trans woman helping a younger trans girl with early transition, giving her her first feminine outfit and complimenting her. There's no wonder why transfem Link is such a popular headcanon. (My personal favorite for Link is some kind of transfeminine genderfluid.)

Vilia isn't perfect, but truly great and realistic trans representation is going to be easier if you start with a Vilia and clip off the overtly problematic bits, than if you start with a Wekatta or a Hainly and try to make them feel more real.

[rainbowchewynuggets]

Hello, and welcome

For everybody’s convenience, I’m gonna try to keep an index of quick links to the stuff I’ve made pinned to the front of my blog for the time being. I figure it’ll be a little more universally accessible than separate pages, given how wacky navigation can be (especially for mobile users). Lemme know how I can make improvements.

vvv INDEX UNDER CUT vvv

ORIGINAL WORK

NEW!!!

AN IMPORTANT UPDATE - 7.28.24

AN IMPORTANT UPDATE - 7.28.24

THE NIGHT FESTIVAL / CHUNCHO

- Chuncho Pic Archive:  1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7

THE GREATEST BATTLE (ANIMATIC from my old blog)

BFF, BEAUTIFUL SOUND (ANIMATICS)

RAGS

POSTER

sketches: SK1 - SK2

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NIGHT HUNTERS (COMIC)

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STORY NUGGETS (TEXT)

Friends at War - Easy Magic

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UNSUCOTH

Characters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

FANWORKS

TMA: ENCORE (COMIC)

COVER - PART 0 - PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 5 - PART 6 - PART 7 - CHANGE OF PLANS - PART 8 - PART 9 - PART 10 - PART 11a - PART 11b - PART 12 - PART 13a - PART 13b - PART 13c - IMPORTANT MESSAGE - PART 14a - PART 14b - PART 15 - PART 16 - EPILOGUE

sketches: #4 Sks - The Hands - In Reverse - Jon n Bruno - Dance With Me - Really, Jane? - Lyrics - Gerry, L.E. - Mike n Niko - Umbrella - Tim n Sasha - Sketchy Sasha -  Martin :3 - Jon Comp - Beanie Baby - JMart - Jude’s Fuse - Jon Smol - Those Guys - Tim’s Shirts - Jane Cometh - Fanart Kiss

HELLBOY & THE GATEKEEPER (COMIC)

PART 1 - PART 2 - PART 3 - PART 4 - PART 5 - PART 6 - PART 7 - PART 8 - PART 9 - PART 10

PSYCHONAUTS SIDE BLOG (COMICS, MISC.)

WWDITS (GALLERY)

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DELTARUNE (COMICS, MISC.)

KRIS’ DRESS - SPAMTON (AND GUEST) - CH.2 SKETCHES

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NIER AUTOMATA (COMIC)

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SPIDERSONAS

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OTHER ART

MY SON, GNASHER - MY SECOND SON, SPECTER - 

MY FRIEND, CROWBOBOT - PRIDE :) - HER - FELIX

THERE’S WAY MORE ON MY WEBSITE - note: My website is currently down because I’ve left Wix in support of Palestine. For These Reasons.AN

[bokutoslittlebird]

The Perfect Family

Alpha!Bokuto x Beta!reader x Beta!Akaashi

Author’s Note : If you’ve read the little drabbles and asks with the fluffy BokuAka family, then you’re in for a surprise. Those were not canon to the actual works I created, it was just something nice to write and think about. This will not start off fluffy at all. This will also include the pregnancy process, so be warned of that ; This is a sequel to my Kinktober piece, Threesome with Bokuto and Akaashi ; I’m so sorry it took for fucking ever

Warnings: Omegaverse, noncon/dubcon (explicit use of the word r*pe), gun play, choking, water torture (attempted drowning), gaslighting, manipulation, watersports (briefly, kind of), mindbreak, dumbification, pregnancy, creampie(s), asphyxiation, lactation, knotting, breeding (technically), degradation

Kōtarō’s rut had finally ended, pumping you full and fucking you into a stupor, all while Keiji made sure to have him give you a break. It was the week for you and Kōtarō to catch up, after all. You were bonded to Kōtarō and Keiji now, you were their mate, so you had to be taken care of. With the stinging pain on your shoulder from Kōtarō’s mark, you were only missing the legal document to bind you to Keiji the normal, Beta way. Keiji was currently thinking about which ring to get you, since Kōtarō had already decided on his “proposal” gift. Keiji figured you’d need time to adjust, however, as he was laying on the couch with Kōtarō’s arms wrapped around him, you missing. There was a cute show that they were watching, Keiji was sure you’d like it. You weren’t allowed out of the bedroom yet, so he would have to show it to you another time.

Once Kōtarō had been satisfied and Keiji had recovered, both got to work on making your stay permanent. You attempted to leave, but Keiji was quick to cuff you. Kōtarō held you down, forcing you to struggle until there was nothing left to do except lay there. Kōtarō had to go back to Osaka soon, so he was trying to enjoy his last few days in Tokyo.

“That was a fun show. Cute, too,” his yawning interrupted his sentence, cutting it short. Keiji nodded in response, snuggling closer to Kōtarō. The Alpha was warm and comfortable, it gave him a sense of home. “I gotta go back tomorrow, Akaashi,”

“I know, Bokuto-san,” Keiji sighs, knowing he’d have to work on their new pet by themselves. It was going to be a struggle. At the beginning of the week, you were so pliant and easily coerced into things. Now, you wouldn’t look or talk to them. Kōtarō threw a fit yesterday, screaming and crying because you weren’t the same person, you were much more distant. It’s the same when it comes to Keiji, however. You only looked at him with betrayal and sadness, even then only looking at him briefly. You exhausted yourself, but you were fighting them. Distancing yourself and giving them the silent treatment. It made Kōtarō not want to leave, you being so upset at him, but he didn’t have a choice.

Kōtarō needed to find a new place for everyone to live, of course. With the high probability of you becoming pregnant, you couldn’t be living in Tokyo, hours away from your alpha. Knowing you would be carrying his pups without him around had Kōtarō growling, Keiji gently patting his arm. Kōtarō calmed down at that, indulging in the calming scent of Keiji. Keiji has already been bonded to him, so it wouldn’t be as stressful if he wasn’t bonded — you were both his mates and therefore, you could be trusted in Keiji’s care. It was still hard to go. He didn’t want to leave with the state you were in.

“What place were you thinking about?” Keiji mused, running his finger in a pattern on Kōtarō’s arm. Just something to do as he mentally planned for the upcoming weeks. The type of house would determine how long those weeks would be.

“Some place big, but close by the gym and practice gym. Maybe traditional? I’ve always wanted to live in a traditional, zen kind of house,” Kōtarō’s eyes lit up as he talked, images and scenes of a large house full of his lovers and his children, playing volleyball in the yard. Keiji smiles at that, knowing it would be at least a month. Enough time to have you positively pregnant and to get you settled into your new role. It’d take effort, of course it would, but he could do it.

“I think that’s a wonderful idea, Bokuto-san,”

“Ya know, we really gotta get used to calling each other by our given names. You’re gonna be a Bokuto, aren’t’cha?”

“Well, of course I am. Just like [Y/N]. We’ll be the Bokuto family,” he sighs, closing his eyes as the name settles in his mind. The Bokuto family has a nice ring to it, he thinks.

Kōtarō spends his last night cuddling you to sleep. You want no part of it, lying stiff as a board as he presses kisses to your neck and rubs his hand over your stomach. It’s a sickening thought, the possibility of getting pregnant. If you really had been ovulating during the rut, you most likely were pregnant. It’s not like you’d know or not, you barely leave the bed to urinate. It’s disgusting to have to deal with, but even when you do get the bathe and do your business, Keiji is right next to you, ready to intervene if necessary. Although Kōtarō is often in there with you, lathering up your body as his touches become less innocent, Keiji’s stone-cold gaze forces you to not attempt anything silly.

When the morning comes, Kōtarō is desperate to keep something of yours until he can see you again. In order to keep him happy, you acquiesce to his demands and let him take your used clothes, yet to be washed. As if the lingering scent of the morning sex isn’t still clinging to his skin. You can’t smell it, nor Keiji, but you know it’s there as you watch him dress himself, tucking himself away as he rambles on about his plans for the future. Three kids for him, two for Keiji, a nice big house, just the ideal lifestyle for anyone. It’ll never happen, though. His delusions will soon shatter when you stay distant and refuse to love him or Keiji.

Keiji waves goodbye to you, saying he’ll come back when he’s done with work. He plans on taking Kōtarō to the train station and then going to work, so you’ll be stuck for the next few hours. Until dinner time, that is. After an hour, you hear a ping from your phone and reach over to look at it. You can still use your phone, of course, but any possibility of calling for help is useless. In this society, nobody would help you. Not only that, your phone is bugged and linked to Keiji’s. He knows when you unlock your phone, what you do at what time, and how long you’re on it. You’re almost positive he can shut it off if he wants to.

The noise is a message from Kōtarō, telling you he misses you already. A roll of the eyes as you lock it, setting it beside you again. You’re able to barely reach the table beside the bed, but none of the drawers. One hand is secured to the headboard, wooden and strong enough to withstand Kōtarō’s ruthless rut. You feel restless as the day has only begun, the next time you will be able to move out of the bed, if at all, will be when Keiji comes home.

The doorknob to the apartment jiggles, making you jump. Keiji should’ve gone to work, so the sudden noise was unexpected. When it finally turns, you expect to see the familiar hair of your former friend, the tousled raven hair and the broad build. Although the man has the proper stature, the hoodie covering his head and the cheap-looking mask covering his face prevent you from properly identifying him. You can’t tell if he’s smirking or not, the intense feeling that he’s giving off tells you he is. With your hand secured to the bed, you really don’t have much in the way of options. The phone is still an option, but you doubt you could get to it in time.

The man lunges towards you, spurring you to attempt to grab the phone. Your fingers brush the metal device before your arm is forcefully gripped and twisted. You scream as your body twists, attempting to lessen the pain. It’s useless, but you still try. When your mouth opens, he quickly shoves something round and hard in it, your tongue pressed against the barrel of the gun.

“Don’t move a muscle,” his voice was low and hoarse, as if he was adjusting it to hide his identity. It was still unfamiliar to you, your brain unable to register what was going on. The man easily overpowers you, using his weight to keep you pinned to the bed. Fear prickles your skin, the chill setting in deep into your bones despite the lingering warmth of the fading Summer heat. It’s a horrible feeling, frozen in fear as your mind races, unable to do anything except stay still. It’s horrible, the fact you listen to the stranger’s demands despite wishing you were dead and out of Kōtarō and Keiji’s grasps. The gun is removed from your mouth, but the knowledge of it being in his possession is enough to keep you compliant, barely acknowledging the man’s hands moving to slip under the dress you were kindly given.

To keep yourself ready and easily accessible to both Keiji and Kōtarō until they had to part, it was best to slip you into a plain and simple white sundress. It was a present from Kōtarō, a small way of saying you were his now. With the lack of panties or other undergarment, you were essentially naked to the intruder as he sat on his heels, dark eyes scanning over your form. You were shaking from the fear, the unknown, but you weren’t attempting to move or thrash about. It was so easy to take advantage of you, you already nice and wet for him, too. The slick buildup from the morning session with Kōtarō lingers, as well as the creamy substance of his seed fucked into you. Unless the intruder was an Alpha, he couldn’t do much damage, but the thought of leaving you alone without a touch, a taste, was too unbearable.

It didn’t take long for the feeling of something hard and thick to push against your folds, collecting slick and teasing, your sensitivity making you whimper at the touch. It was a sudden plunge, forcing himself deep into your cunt as he groaned, your walls clenching around him. You thought the groan sounded familiar, but there was no more time to think on it when he put his hand on your throat, effectively shutting off proper access to your lungs. Your walls tighten again around him, him finding it hard to retract his hips but thrusting back in. His pace isn’t too fast, but his thrusts are brutal as he continues to drive his cock into your sensitive and abused pussy. He’s not an Alpha, you can tell by the lack of an inflating knot, but it still remains that you’re being violated by an unknown man. The whimpers coming from your throat are all you can release, barely sucking in air to stay conscious. When your vision starts to fade, the man and the walls of the room slowly blurring together, you start to panic.

The gun is still beside you, but it’s not your concern. The bullet in the chamber can’t threaten you unless the barrel’s against your head, but the hand currently cutting off oxygen is threatening your life. Attempting to dig your nails into the fabric of the hoodie is useless, his work gloves keeping his hands from getting any marks, either. Your lungs burn from lack of air and your vision slowly fades to black, a heat and chill settling over your body at the same time as you continue to feel his body pinning you down. The brutal fucking is the only sensation you still have, the stinging of your skin as he snaps his hips to meet yours and the squelching sounds from your sloppy pussy, cum and slick spurting and coating his cock as he chases his own high. You don’t know if he finished inside, your sensations dying out as you slip into unconsciousness.

When you wake up, your lungs ache and your face feels wet. When you flutter your eyes open, you’re faced with the creamy beige walls of Keiji’s bedroom, the lamp and phone on the bedside table. A presence is beside you, a large hand gently brushing your hair. Your eyes widen as you jolt, Keiji gently shushing you as he holds you. It’s comforting, someone familiar beside you after the experience you just had. You don’t know what happened after everything went black, but the smell of Keiji’s morning coffee and his cologne calm you down, tears spilling out as your fists bunch up the fabric of his shirt.

“I had a bad feeling, so I immediately came back home. I didn’t expect you to be completely unconscious, what did you do?” He asked, oblivious to what had really transpired. It was painful to recall, the fear from before rising again as you remember the man’s stature, looming over you as he pinned you to the bed. Another fit of tears come, the droplets soaking the white of Keiji’s shirt. “Darling, you need to tell me what’s wrong. What-“

“A stranger,” a hiccup interrupted you, red and tired eyes looking to his face. He looks confused, so you need to press on. “He broke in. Violated me. He— he ra-“

“Oh, sweetheart, I’m so sorry. If I had known something so horrible would happen, I wouldn’t have left you all alone. You could’ve come with me, but you’ve been so naughty, you know,” his voice is gentle, but there’s a certain chill in his voice that has your fear spiking. His hands are warm, caressing your back as he speaks. “But, you know, you cheated on Bokuto-san and I. I have to punish you,”

“I— I didn’t do it on purpose!” Why were you defending yourself? Your mind had to momentarily adjust itself, the feeling of helplessness from earlier now back. Once the cuff had released the headboard, it was nothing for Keiji to force you into the bathroom. No amount of strength you had could compare to him, nor height. He wasn’t afraid to hurt you either, almost smashing your fingers in the door frame because you wouldn’t let go. “Akaashi, stop!!”

“Akaashi? Now, we can’t have that. You should address me properly, dear,” he grips your face, smushing your cheeks together as you find yourself practically flung into the tub. It’s already full of hot water, almost scalding, as he holds your head under. Struggling once more, it’s futile. His strength far surpasses yours, stature looming over you. Under the water, his image is distorted, but the way he looks down at you feels familiar. Before that thought can continue, you feel your lungs burning as you thrash again, thoughts only focused on surviving. When your head is pulled up, you gulp air as you cough, water sputtering as you do. “You need to be punished.”

“Let me go, I didn’t do anythi-“ your head is once more under the water, nails digging into the flesh of Keiji’s arms as he holds you still. You didn’t get a good gulp of air, so you’re quickly back at the previous feeling of helplessness as your lungs burn, vision blurring. Before everything goes black, you’re once more pulled from the water. Your face is hot, either from lack of air or the heat of the bathroom and water, you’re not too sure. But Keiji is sure of one thing and that’s the way you’re clinging to him. You were digging your nails into him, squirming and attempting to leave, but now your nails were digging into his as your grip tightened around his forearm. You were clinging to him, unconsciously seeing him as your savior, as he was the one who controlled your ability to breathe, therefore your life. He could drown you if he wanted to, but Kōtarō wouldn’t like that. No, he just needed you to depend on him, change your stance on how you saw your lovers.

Keiji also couldn’t help how delicious you looked, drenched as steam rose from the water, your white dress floating around you as if you were an ethereal being. You looked angelic and untainted... an urge to corrupt you washed over him, compelling his body into the steaming water. It was a tight fit, but he managed. With his sweatpants on, it was easy for him to simply push down the waistband and pull out his cock. “Now I have to cover up that man’s scent, or do you want everyone to know you’re a whore?”

“Akaashi, enough, this isn’t any diff-“

“Are you saying I’m a rapist? That’s what you’re implying, right? If you really think that, then I’ll be that. I would never purposefully hurt you,” his words contradict his actions, his hard cock pressing into your walls as he speaks. Sensitivity still lingers, your legs twitching as he sinks down to the hilt. “You’re saying I’m the bad guy, aren’t you? Well, how about I be the bad guy? Let’s recreate the scenario,”

“Akaashi, please, stop!” You cry out, weak limbs attempting to push him off. Hot, fat tears stream down your cheeks as Keiji licks them away, kissing their trails as you continue to sob at the feeling. It was a horrible feeling, being helpless, but a part of you knew you were safe. Keiji wouldn’t let you die, the only thing that prevented you from putting more effort in. Even with the splashing water, he kept one hand on the back of your head to prevent you from going under. Keiji’s pace is always the same — slow strokes, but deep and meaningful as he rocks his hips into yours and makes sure to roll his hips. It’s a completely opposite of Kōtarō’s, brutal and relentless, but Kōtarō fils you out more. Keiji has to make sure you feel every ridge, every vein, every pulse from his cock and have it completely engraved into your mind.

When Keiji gets close, he holds you closer to him, kissing your neck as your hands grasp at the tub’s edges, mind reeling from the force of your orgasms. Your nerves are on fire, your walls constantly clamping around Keiji’s cock like a vice, all while he rides out his own high. He presses a sweet kiss to the mark on your neck, where it meets your shoulder, right where he sports a matching mark on his own skin. It’s Kōtarō’s bond, what links him to the two of you forever. With a final thrust, Keiji spills deep inside you as he kisses you deeply, forcing you to swallow his moan of pleasure as he swallows your mewls. You’re still tight around him, walls fluttering pathetically around his girth as he relishes in the way you feel, keeping his seed locked inside you.

When he breaks the kiss, you’re both panting heavily, chests heaving for different reasons. “There. Now he’s gone,” a gentle kiss on your temple. With those words, a silence settles over the room. Although the stranger may be gone, in his place stands Akaashi Keiji.

The next day, Keiji is home.

“Just a precaution, dear,” he had said. “So nothing else bad will happen to you when I’m not here. You wouldn’t want that, would you?” With those words, he convinced you of his intentions. The previous day’s events had you rattled, the fear of being alone subconsciously rooted into your mind. A small whimper of Keiji’s name, his given name, had him smiling and cooing at you, taking you anywhere in the apartment you wanted to go. It was nice to finally leave the bedroom and bathroom sections, seeing the front room and kitchen, able to hear and see people outside the windows. You dare not let your eyes linger too long on the windows, covered completely with only shadows passing by, nor on the door. The door which had a recently newly installed lock, to take extra precautions. A passing thought of how it seemed to be so quickly enforced comes by, leaving as you become hyper aware of the blank gaze Keiji gives you. It’s not blank, per se. It looks blank to many bystanders, but to you, you know he’s focusing. He’s watching you and analyzing what you do. It’s a test.

A test you seem to have passed, when he calls you back for a bath. He doesn’t guide you there, no threats, just a simple “Come along,” as he walks towards the same bathroom he almost drowned and violated you in. The fear and anxiety of going back has your flight or fight response kicking in, the seemingly easy option of flinging the door open and leaving has your legs moving. But Keiji is quicker, stronger, and smarter than you. Before your fingertips can even graze the lock, your face is slammed into the floor.

“You were doing so well, too,” his feet are planted on either side of you, one moving to plant itself on your back. With a bit of force, you’re screaming as he has his heel pushing into your spine. “You deserve to be punished.”

“Fuck you, Akaashi!” You spit, squirming and wriggling to get him off. When his foot moves, you attempt to get up, but soon he drops down and fists your hair in one hand, the other pushing your cheeks together.

“I should wash that dirty mouth of yours,” he growls, shoving your face against the floor. By shoving, he essentially drops you into the floor. With a burning sensation in your nose, you feel a vaguely familiar liquid trickling out, a small red dot beneath you. He does it once more, making sure to keep his hand on your head to prevent you from getting up. “I trusted you to listen to me, [Y/N],”

“I’ll never listen to you,” you declare, hands balling into fists beside you. “I’ll never forgive you and Bokuto for what you did. I’ll never forgive or forget how you raped me, either!”

“I did no such thing. You enjoyed it, whore. You clamped around me like a vice last night, just as you probably did the stranger that violated you. Can it be consider violation if you were wet? What about when you started to enjoy it?”

“How would you know that, unless-“

“I know how much of a slut you can be, sleeping around with Alphas in high school and other Betas. You probably got off on being raped,” He sneers, putting more force in his hand, making it uncomfortable as your cheek is smushed against the floor.

“Fuck you,”

“I’ll take that as a yes. As a punishment, you won’t be leaving that bedroom for some time,” he finally lets you free, a large breath of air inhaled as you realize he was putting his weight on your lungs. “Come here,”

Wrenched from the ground, you find yourself dragged, kicking and screaming, back into the bedroom where Keiji cuffs you to the headboard. He’s huffing, but he manages to get both wrists cuffed to the headboard. Back to square one, with you refusing to acknowledge him while he tries to talk. Well, he does talk, you’re forced to listen.

When dinner time comes around, you expect some plain chicken broth or maybe even water, but instead you’re given nothing. Keiji doesn’t come in the room at all. The water running let’s you know he’s washing dishes, but where’s your meal? When his humming enters the room, you know he’s coming down. When he opens the door, in his hand lays a plate with bread crust and crumbs, along with some pocky sticks. Just two, however. Barely considered a meal. “Dinner!”

“You’re kidding me,”

“Dear, you know I don’t joke around easily. You were naughty this afternoon, so you’re going to eat my leftovers. Bread crust and some stale pocky sticks is the only thing on your menu,”

“I’ll starve instead,” a glare sent his way does frazzle him one bit, instead almost makes him... chippier. As if you’re falling for his well hidden trap. A nod and he’s gone, your only source of food with him. He won’t enter to room again until nighttime, so you’re left to wallow in your own solitude, something you used to take for granted.

When Keiji does finally come into the room, you’re excited to see him before remembering you don’t like him. Instead of taking the key and releasing your restraints to sleep, he grabs his pillow, his blanket, and his phone charger. “Where are you going?”

“Well, since you obviously hate me, I thought it’d be best that I leave you alone. After all, that is what you wanted, yes?” A small smirk is on his face as your eyes widen, thoughts running through your head as he takes his leave. Without a bid goodnight, Keiji leaves you alone in the room. With no possible entertainment except your mind, you feel uneasy. Unsteady. The world is suddenly dropping you off in an empty room with nothing and you can’t think of anything to keep yourself entertained. The television set buzzes to life outside, while the popping of popcorn fills your ears along with the melted butter smell. An urge to move flits around, but you decide it is best to not.

The next day, it’s a similar situation. Within three days of Kōtarō’s leave, you’ve found yourself craving his company more than ever. Keiji is ruthless and merciless, entering the bedroom for clothes and then leaving for work. He doesn’t talk to you, he doesn’t look at you, he barely enters the room anymore. You feel your stomach grumble at the thought of food, your mouth dry from the lack of fluids in your system. A pathetic way to die, one would think. With the lack of nutrition, your body will eventually decay or fall into an unstable state. Keiji isn’t a dunce, he knows this — at least, he should. Why then, you wonder, is he allowing this? Not only are you completely attached to the bed, but you haven’t been able to get up at all, even for bathroom use. The urine has stained the sheets, turning the pristine white cotton into a grimy yellow color, the ammonia stench covering the entire bedroom. You felt like a helpless child, in dire need of your parents to come home.

In a way, that’s what it was. You were helpless and needed someone else’s help. You need Keiji’s help. You can only go so long before you end up breaking, and you’ve reached a limit. The disgusting liquid under you was the final thread, the squelching and squeezing every time your hips move to a different area to attempt to leave the spot resulting in a failed attempt. The white dress was soaked, first from the bathroom incident and now it was dyed yellow due to your own fluids. Kōtarō wouldn’t be happy with those results.

When Keiji finally comes home, you hear him. You hear the door close and a sigh. Waiting for him to enter the room is quickly disregarded as you call for him. With no hesitation, he arrives at the room, looking at you. “You called, darling?”

“Keiji, please. I’m sorry I was bad. I need you, please don’t leave me,” you cry out, pulling on the cuffs. Shushing you, he quickly attends to your wrists, red and raw from the tugging, pulling, and twisting you’ve done over the past day. Once one hand is free from the restraint, he’s happy to feel it grabbing his shoulder, a silent beg to not leave. “Kei-“

“I know, I know. I won’t hurt you,” his words calm you down, sobs turning into hiccups as he guides you off the bed. Your legs are weak, unstable from lack of use, so he bridal carries you into the bathroom, not caring about the urine. After setting you on the toilet, he strips you of your dress and starts the bath. Trusting you to not move, he leaves. Another test, to see if you’ve really shaped up after the last attempt.

Keiji stands in the bedroom, pulling the sheets off the bed and removing the pad. He puts them aside, but waits. No movement from the bathroom, not even the toilet seat squeaking or the shutting off of the water. Continuing to put the sheets and dress away, he picks out a set of panties — new and clean, a treat for being good — to go with the pastel pink sundress. It looks exactly like the other one, except the color. After getting a towel and a change of clothes himself, he leaves.

You’re still sitting on the toilet, looking at him as he enters. Perking up, you push into the hand the caresses your head, brushing the tangled hair. He stops the water, guiding you into the tub. Once you’re settled, he strips down and joins you.

“You’re not going to hurt me?” You ask, voice dull.

“Of course not. When have I ever done that?”

The next day is such an improvement, Keiji can’t help but let Kōtarō know how well you’ve adjusted. You’re compliant out of fear rather than love, but Kōtarō doesn’t know that. He’s so excited to see a picture of you cooking in the kitchen, he probably wouldn’t care. The picture doesn’t capture the longing look at the knives, the fleeting glances at the door, the rigidness of your body as Keiji wraps his arms around you. It’s small gestures, but you never move to accomplish the action. Your finger might twitch, a gulp as you see the unlocked door, but you continue on. You make the noodles, you bring the tray to Keiji, you sit in his lap and allow the arms to secure your place. The food is something you’re ever thankful for, the lack of food spurring your resilience into breaking. With a gentle blow, Keiji feeds you the ramen you dutifully prepared for the both of you all day.

You never looked at the door again. You never looked at the knives unless you were cutting something. Even with Keiji breathing down your neck, eyes focused on your hands, you didn’t twitch or move to hurt him. You went to the bathroom and didn’t complain when he joined you. Even when he had to do his little daily checkup, you didn’t complain. The first time, you mentioned it tickled and questioned what he was doing, sticking his nose between your legs as he pried them open. He just smiled and said he needed to know if you were healthy, to which your questions easily stopped. Although he occasionally swept his tongue over your still wet folds, you never told him to go away and leave you alone. Even when he went further and had put you on the bathroom’s countertop before diving between your legs once more, your fingers thread themselves through his hair as you moaned.

When the news of Kōtarō coming back reached your ears, you didn’t know how to feel. Keiji was the one to help you, give you comfort, so you didn’t feel too excited to see Kōtarō. Keiji knew this would cause problems, as Kōtarō was expecting you to be as loving to him as you were to Keiji. After an explanation of the situation, you promised to perform appropriately for Kōtarō. With a whispered threat of locking you up again, you easily complied with everything you were asked to do. When Kōtarō came through the door, he was easily able to catch you as you jumped on him. “Welcome back!”

“Aw, [Y/N]! I’m glad to be back!” He nuzzled into your neck, indulging in your scent. You could easily pretend to be in love with Kōtarō, but your scent would tell him if you were feeling off. With his superior senses, you had to be forced into a mindset where you did love Kōtarō. Threats and memories of the past had could nodding along, situating yourself into his life easily. “I missed you, a lot,”

“Well, we won’t have to be gone for so long again, right?” You ask, a pout forming. “Or are you going to leave me?”

“Oh, no! You’re gonna live with me,” he grins, a closed eye smile. Your eyes widen as the information is processing, Keiji coming from the kitchen.

“It was a surprise for you. We’ll be moving to Osaka to be close to Bokuto-san,” he’s drying a knife, one he recently finished washing, but it’s also a silent threat. Kōtarō didn’t see the horrified look on your face, but he sure did.

“O-Oh. Okay! I can’t wait, when are we.. when do we move?” Twiddling your fingers, Kōtarō wraps his arms around you once more, effectively picking you up. No hesitating, your legs wrap around his waist as he looks up at your face, love flooding his eyes.

“You’ll move in with me tomorrow. Once Akaashi’s boxed everything up, he’ll join us. Our room is all set up, and there’s lots of rooms for kids. Speaking of-!”

“Another time, Bokuto-san,” Keiji harshly whispered, Kōtarō’s eyes widening before smiling, nodding. You didn’t know what that was, but you then focused on Kōtarō moving to the couch.

“Let’s eat, I’m starving! Maybe I can have something special for dessert, if you know what I mean,” with an added eyebrow wiggle, you shyly smile and nod. It’s what Keiji told you would please Kōtarō. It’s what Keiji told you that you need to do.

The dinner itself is fine, but when you ask to use the restroom, Kōtarō points out the red splotches on your white dress. Panicking, you attempt to locate the spot as your face heats up in embarrassment. Keiji then points out the bit of blood on Kōtarō’s pants, making you think your cycle has started. At that mention, Kōtarō’s growling in anger as you seize up in fear, unsure of what to do. Keiji tells you to change while he deals with Kōtarō, you immediately obeying and going to the bedroom.

“I thought ovulating meant she would get pregnant. Why isn’t she pregnant? Were you wrong?” Kōtarō asks, still angry. He knows he scared you, your lingering scent of fear in the room and around him. He thought he could smell another scent on you, but he didn’t know what it could be.

“Bokuto-san, I know this is frustrating but it’s possible she didn’t get pregnant. However, spotting is a sign of pregnancy. It was only a few drops. If she has anymore blood leakage that gets heavy tonight, we’ll know,” Keiji is able to calm down Kōtarō, who rolls his shoulders back and lies against the back of the couch. “Do you want to change your jeans?”

“Nah, it’s barely noticeable. Plus,” a thumb runs over the denim, Kōtarō licking his lips as his eyes darken, “this is like she’s claiming me, right?”

Kōtarō does not force himself on you that evening. Instead, he just cuddles you that night. It’s a differing touch than Keiji’s, who ends up rolling to the other side of the bed in the night. Kōtarō holds you close and tightly all night, snuggling closer to you, as if it was possible, and nudging his nose in your neck. It’s sweet, you think, as he caresses you like you’re made of glass.

The next morning, Kōtarō has you properly dressed to leave with him. A set of panties, sweatpants, t-shirt, and a hoodie. It’s a casual set of clothes, but they are all you came to Keiji’s house in a week and a half ago. Kōtarō says he’ll get you better clothes once you’re settled in, but you feel uneasy as you bid goodbye to Keiji. He worries about your mental state once you’re alone with Kōtarō, but he just has to hope you’re able to seem stable enough for a day.

In Osaka, you feel like your life is beginning anew. It’s not much different from Tokyo, but as Kōtarō guides you through the streets, it becomes known that Osaka has a lot more greenery. It’s very beautiful, in your opinion. When he stops in front of an old house, you glance at him. “Our new home, sweetheart!” He cheers, kissing your cheek as he picks you up. Carrying you inside the house, you notice the security. The gate is only opened via pin entry, which the gate itself is roughly 2 meters tall. Even the door to the house requires thumbprint access, a very modern and technological touch in an older, traditional house.

He shows you to your room, which is also his room, but yours too. It has its modern touch, with the remaining aspect of futons to lay on. The cameras in the hallway also are in your view, the one in the bedroom and the hallway. Looking into each room, you notice they are containing cameras, but one room is different. “What’s this?”

“Oh? This is our nursery! So, when you have a baby, it’ll be in here,” he chirps, pointing out things in the room. Scanning the room, you notice the lack of camera secured.

“Where’s the camera?”

“What— what camera?” Rubbing the back of his neck, he fakes confusion. You see right through it.

“I noticed the other cameras. There’s not one here,”

“Oh, well, that’s because this room has baby monitors!” He gestures to the white device. A nod of understanding has the tour moving on. Showing you to the kitchen, you notice the pantry and fridge are stocked. “Would you make me dinner?”

“Of course. What do you want?”

“You, served hot and steaming in the bath,” he grins. Eyes widen as you realize what he wants, you sheepishly laughing as you acquiesce.

Kōtarō is much rougher than Keiji, you knew that, but the way he fucks you with fervor as he hasn’t seen you in almost five days is something akin to his rut. Sinking his teeth into your skin, remarking his territory as he spurs you into your first orgasm of the night. Your nails are digging into his broad shoulders, the only thing you can use to keep yourself grounded. The setting wasn’t in the bathroom, but rather the bedroom where he claimed he wanted to “seal the deal” of you coming home. Legs tighten around his waist, back arching as he continues to drive his cock into you and litter your neck with less painful marks, claiming already claimed territory. As he presses a wet, sloppy kiss against your lips, you scream as you tighten your walls, feeling his knot force its way inside you.

A warm hand rubs the side of your body as your walls convulse around him, squeezing as he pumps you full of his cum. It’s a memory to you, but it feels so warm and fulfilling, you immediately relax in his hold as he continues to pepper kisses along your body. It’s a comforting feeling, being praised and cared for, a drastic difference from the way Keiji treated you a few days ago. Well, how you think he treated you a few days ago. He said he never did it, but your body said differently. With Kōtarō’s eyes of love looking down on you, you didn’t think it mattered. That was in the past, this was the present. You felt comfortable here, that was what mattered.

When Keiji arrived with a bunch of boxes, you were told to make them lunch so they could eat when they were done. Kōtarō said he didn’t want you straining yourself after last night, so you agree to his demands. Deciding to make some udon for lunch, you get to work as they lug in the boxes. The boxes aren’t large nor heavy, but watching Kōtarō easily lift three of them with no effort, while Keiji brings in two at most with also no effort, you feel yourself get wet at the thought of them hot and sweaty afterwards. With a possible treat in mind, you work more diligently, mentally preparing yourself to ask them.

Keiji mentioned he’d be looking for another job while Kōtarō was at the gym. It would be the first time you would be alone and free to roam. You begged Keiji to not leave for too long, hands grasping at the fabric of his shirt as he pried your hands off. Kōtarō gave you a sweet kiss before he left, telling you he’d try to hurry back, but you knew Keiji would get back first. Sitting in the large house, you didn’t know what to do except cook and sleep. Your phone screen lit up with a message from Kōtarō, a picture of him blowing you a kiss with a message of ‘I miss you!’ under it. You smile at that, sending back a message that you miss him, too.

Before you lock your phone, you look at the many games you have on it. There’s one game you don’t remember being on it, it looks like a tracker app. Clicking on it, it welcomes you and it shows how far along you are in.. pregnancy? First reaction is to panic, how do you know if you’re pregnant? Going into the internet app, you search up symptoms of pregnancy. One that jumps out to you is the spotting, only a little bit of blood as the sperm fertilizes the egg. It is most likely what you did on Kōtarō’s lap, the day he came to Tokyo. Another surge of panic comes as you think of your lovers, your mates. With Keiji looking for a new job and Kōtarō being busy with being a professional athlete, they don’t have time to take care of you and a baby. You decide to not tell them.

Although you decide to not tell them, the next week is excuses of your recent symptoms. You find yourself more exhausted than usual, not even getting out of bed to bid goodbye to Kōtarō and Keiji. Not only that, you end up in the bathroom as you feel sick, but only half of the times does something come up. It’s when you have another episode of morning sickness does Keiji pop the question. “Should I get a pregnancy test?”

“N-No! I’m not pregnant, just some bad sushi!” When Keiji’s grip on your arm gets tighter, you whimper. “Keiji, stop hurting me,”

“I’m not hurting you, I just need you to tell me the tru-“ the door shutting cuts him off, his attention to the door of the bathroom where Kōtarō is, panting.

“Something’s wrong, isn’t it? I could sense it,”

“I’m just a bit sick-“ “She’s pregnant-“ You both speak at the same time. Your eyes widen as Keiji looks at you.

“Pregnant? Now? Really?” Kōtarō is ecstatic, but you don’t take it that way.

“I’m not, I promise! I’m sorry!” You beg. Kōtarō’s mood turns sour, the anger directed towards you. Keiji stands back, but he doesn’t interfere.

“Why are you lying to me? If Keiji says you are, then you are! I know you’re lying!” He kneels on the ground and grabs your shoulders, digging his meaty fingers into the flesh. You yelp in pain, attempting to get him off. “Why are you doing this?! You were doing so well!”

“Stop, Kō-chan, stop! You’re hurting me!” A call out of his childhood nickname has his rage quelling, as you brush his hands off and rub the stinging skin. “I don’t want to be pregnant,”

“This isn’t about what you want. It’s about what we want, do you understand that?” Keiji speaks, voice low and threatening. You quickly nod your head, attempting to explain yourself.

“I- I thought that you wouldn’t want a baby because you’re both busy! I don’t- I don’t want to burden you more than I do,” with your words, the anger and rage suddenly evaporates as they understand.

“Burden us? Baby, we love you and do everything for you. You’re going to be carrying my pups and Keiji’s babies, we want this. This is all I ever hoped for,” Kōtarō coos, taking your hands and pressing a kiss to them. A fit of sobs escape as you wrap your arms around him, hiccuping into his chest. Keiji sits and smiles, knowing you have completely adjusted into the proper role.

With the news of your pregnancy, Kōtarō is able to get off a lot more to be there for you. You’re no omega, so it’s not as if he has to take off for 9 months, and Keiji is there to take care of you. Keiji takes care of any appointments you need to do, signing you into a private hospital nearby where Kōtarō’s teammate’s omega gave birth. A list of what was normal was given to you and Keiji and what would be a cause for concern, so you made sure to drill into your head about the possible problems. It was vital that you were able to give birth, being able to give Kōtarō and Keiji what they wanted all you needed to take care of yourself. Keiji prepared your meals, making sure you were eating properly even before the bump showed.

When the bump became prominent, you were glad that your wardrobe consisted of dresses. The dresses you had were all loose-fitting and easy to move around in. With the upcoming winter months, you had lots of blankets and an oversized jacket, bearing Kōtarō’s MSBY number and logo. Kōtarō couldn’t keep his hands off of you, always rubbing your bump and pinching the extra fat you were putting on. Worry over the added weight was a brief concept that quickly evaporated as Kōtarō voiced how much he loves the extra meat to fondle and love, tickling you as you giggle afterwards. Keiji couldn’t say he disagreed with Kōtarō, the added weight adding to your cuteness charm as you did the most basic and minuscule things. He could disagree with Kōtarō on the obsession with the pregnancy milk, however.

Lactation was painful, the way your boobs ached as they were full of creamy milk. Although they ache, Kōtarō encouraged you to let him drink from them. Hesitation was in the beginning, but once his lips had secured themselves on your nipple and started sucking, it was quite relaxing. The tender ache in your breasts were gone as Kōtarō drank from them, but he often had to drink from both of them due to Keiji’s aversion. He didn’t see the appeal, he rather enjoyed teasing your nipples when the sexual appetite of yours had risen, but he didn’t see the appeal in drinking the milk. Keiji did oblige Kōtarō, however, in looking into lactation cookies, which would increase milk production and could even make it taste better. It was worth a try, as it would help the children to develop as you breastfed them.

The lactation cookies Keiji made looked awful, but tasted amazing. You would have eaten all of them had it not been for Keiji stopping you. Kōtarō seemed excited, immediately begging for another go. He’d have to wait until nighttime, since he often took naps after you breastfed him during the day.

At night, you often slept completely naked, able to easily feed Kōtarō if he woke up in the middle of the night. Your sex drive had risen exponentially in your second trimester, to the point Kōtarō had to request off to take care of you. He made sure to keep his promise, stuffing you with his thick cock and plugging you up with his cum or lapping at your folds until your fluids splashed against his face. With the third trimester underway, your libido has decreased while your milk had increased, but that didn’t deter Kōtarō from getting frisky. Even as Keiji bathed away from you two, he couldn’t help but touch himself to your whines and mewls.

Kōtarō has been riding a cloud since your pregnancy came about. Even before the milk, he found it hard to resist fucking you, especially with the added sensitivity. Your breasts were larger now, bouncing with every thrusts as he tweaks the nipples, watching the cream dribble from them. He can’t help himself, really, as he goes to attach himself to one of your perky buds. When Keiji enters the room, he chuckles at the sight.

“Should we worry that there won’t be enough milk for you and the baby?” He muses, sitting on the futon next to you. Your hand grasps at his silk shirt, bringing him down to give you a kiss. Even as Kōtarō drills into you, you want more. A wet pop resounds around the room as Kōtarō laughs, groaning in your ear as he plugs you with his knot, pumping you full.

“The pup can have those bottles, and with help of those miracle cookies, we should be fine. You sure you don’t want to at least try a bit? It feels nice for her, doesn’t it, my little Beta?” He coos, pressing kisses to your cheeks as you come down from your high, walls fluttering around Kōtarō’s cock.

“It relieves some pain, I’ll admit that,” you smile at Keiji. “You can try,”

“Well, how can I say no to that?” He smiles back at you, brushing hair out of your face. Kōtarō massages your breast, holding it so Keiji can attach his lips to the nipple. His eyes focus on the creamy liquid dripping from the bud, only to become transparent as it follows gravity. When he does get a taste, he knows he’s in trouble. It’s as delicious as Kōtarō said, creamy and full that makes you want more. As he sucks with fervor, you giggle and Keiji is joined by his other lover, suckling any milk he left behind. It’s such a strange thing to happen, both grown men sucking on your chest as if they had been born only recently. With the swell of your stomach, you knew they’d have to share their milky mine.

As your due date drew near, you found yourself unable to do anything alone. Kōtarō was off completely until you delivered and Keiji was no longer looking for a job, as it was decided Kōtarō made enough for everyone to live comfortably. He knew he’d have to find another job soon, as more children were born and needed to be fed, but that was a well ways off, at least 9 more months.

What started as a normal day soon turned to chaos as preparations for delivery expedited when your water broke. The hospital had your room prepared already, but it was for your week stay as you were three days away from your date. Kōtarō was in a frenzy, unsure of what to do but desperate to do something. Keiji has to drive to the hospital, while you were doing breathing exercises with Kōtarō in the back seat. It was the birth of their first child, so even Keiji was panicking, but he was also excited.

Once settled into the room, the nurses had to check to see how far along you were dilated. Kōtarō was anxious, his scent permeating the room as he started to pace. The doctor had come in, spurring him into a fighting mentality because the doctor was another Alpha. Keiji and a nurse had to get him out of the room, with a promise he could see the children once they were born, but he would have to wait in the waiting room. Weakly calling out his name and telling him you were fine, he obliged as he left, punching the wall once as he felt his emotions boil over. Keiji was by your side, holding your hand as you squeeze it, pushing when the doctor told you to.

When the room was filled with screaming, the clock chiming as 12:15 had arrived, signaling the date of birth of your first born son. With his stubby arms and legs, you laughed as you held him, Keiji getting the honor of cutting the cord. The baby still needed to be cleaned and checked over, so the doctor and nurses took him while Keiji went to get Kōtarō. By the time Kōtarō and Keiji has come back, you were holding a small, but still big, baby boy swaddled in a thick blanket. Kōtarō immediately raced over to look over both of you, his scent out of control as his emotions mingled together. He didn’t know what to think.

“It looks like it’s yours, Kōtarō,” Keiji says, hand resting on Kōtarō’s shoulder. He smiles in response, looking at the baby’s golden eyes blinking open at him.

“Sure does, Keiji. I guess the next thing we should work on is proper marriage, right?” He watches as the baby grasps his finger, the small hand even smaller compared to his large one.

“A proper marriage, yes. The ring, the dress, the ceremony, you would like that, wouldn’t you dear?”

“Of course Keiji. Anything you want.” As you look up to him, he sees nothing but love in your eyes. He smiles, nodding in agreement.

“Well, as well as making sure the next one’s mine. We should start on that as soon as possible, don’t you think?”

[kiruliom]

FINALLY PROGRESSED THE RENTRY SO THAT ITS PRESENTEABLE

https://rentry.co/whatabeautifulwaytokill here's the link, gonna add this plus a quick link to the blog to my pinned post in a minute. it's open to criticism both for accessibility and just general aestheticness but do keep in mind it's still not COMPLETELY finished.

content warning for gifs and also bright colors, but nothing outright flashing or eyestrainy for the sake of it. gonna work on a plain text version sometime soon

[jatpwriting]

Birthday Boy - Charlie Gillespie x Reader (SMUT 18+)

Request: birthday smut for charlie // sex in a pool or bathtub with Charlie

Word Count: 1827 words

Summary: It’s Charlie’s birthday and to celebrate you book a weekend away in a hotel for the two of you, and you’re determined to make it the best weekend away ever

Warnings: smut (duh), swearing, dirty talk, shower sex, skinny dipping, dick riding, unprotected sex (always use protection!!)

A/N: I think I might do a part two of this one, i have a couple of ideas that work well with a request so let me know if you’re interested in a part 2 sorry for any errors, it’s currently 4am and i’m half asleep but i wanted to get this out asap :) 

also this is kinda a double smut lol enjoy! 

“Oh no way, we have our own private pool!” Charlie exclaimed as the two of you entered the suite you would be calling home for the next two days. 

It was Charlie’s birthday the following day, and as a present to him you booked a weekend holiday at the fanciest hotel you could afford, so that the two of you could have some one on one bonding and relaxing time. 

“I thought it would be nice for a late night swim.” You replied, winking at him. He smirked, clearly understanding what you were implying. 

“It’s a good thing I brought my swimmers along then.” Charlie said, placing his bag onto the bed. “Although by the look on your face I probably won’t be needing them.” 

You laughed. 

“It’s a private pool Char. The perfect opportunity for a bit of skinny dipping.” You copied his movements of placing your bag on the bed. “Now, should we unpack and have a quick shower before going to eat dinner? It seems like it’s getting late.” 

You checked the time on your phone. Almost 5pm already. 

“That sounds like a plan. I can book us somewhere for dinner while you shower if you want?” Charlie suggested. You rolled your eyes. 

“I meant shower together.” You said, putting emphasis on the word together. 

“Oh, well, in that case.” Charlie took a step towards you, grabbing onto your waist and pulling you flush against his body. “We better unpack quickly then.” 

His breath was hot on your lips and your heart skipped a beat. Even though you and Charlie had been together for almost three years, you never got used to the feeling of him being so close to you. Your eyes met his and you lent in, closing the gap between your lips, groaning slightly as Charlie bit on your bottom lip. 

“We have to unpack.” You managed to stutter out between kisses. Charlie pulled away, sighing quietly. 

“Fine.” 

 It took you less than ten minutes to unpack your clothes and pick out an outfit that was nice enough for dinner, but not too fancy. Armed with your toiletries and your outfit you headed into the small bathroom, smiling to yourself when Charlie followed, hot on your heels. 

You placed your clothes on the closed toilet lid, and your toiletries bag down on the bench, unzipping it to find your body wash, deciding to unpack the rest of the supplies later, before turning to Charlie. 

“So...” You began. He grinned, throwing his clothes on top of yours quickly, before pulling you back in, connecting your lips in a mess of slow and sensual kisses, bodies pressed against each other, quiet moans at the pleasure. 

Charlie pulled away to strip down, before turning the water in the shower on to hot, but not hot enough to burn the two of you. You followed his lead, pulling your own clothes off as Charlie wrapped his arms around your waist, leaning down to kiss and suck on your neck, surely leaving a mark that you would have to try to hide the next day. 

By this point the water was hot and you stepped into the shower cubicle, thankful that it was big enough for the both of you to fit in. 

“What do you want?” Charlie asked, taking a step forward as you took a small step back, your back pressing against the wall.

“I want you to touch me.” You whispered. Charlie nodded, connecting your lips again, his hands roaming your body, sending chills throughout your body despite the fact that you were standing under hot water.

You moaned into Charlie’s mouth, desperate for more contact. He pulled away with a cheeky grin.

“Now what?” He asked, his lips barely touching yours.

“Charlie.” You whined, and Charlie smirked, pulling your body flush against his, his hard dick rubbing against your leg, turning you on even more.

“Tell me what you want princess.” He whispered.

“You.” You replied, and before you knew what was happening Charlie had lifted you and pinned you against the wall.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, moaning at the feeling of his bare skin on yours.

“You want me to fuck you?” Charlie asked, his lips on your neck again.

“Please.” You managed to stutter out. In one swift movement Charlie shifted you so that his dick was lined up with your hole and you moaned. 

“Hurry up Charles.” You groaned and he grinned, sliding into you slowly. Once he was fully in he paused, giving you a moment to adjust. When you indicated that he was good to move he started thrusting slowly. 

You moaned, tangling your fingers through his wet hair and pulling his head down to kiss you as he thrusted. 

“God you feel good.” He murmured against your lips, causing your stomach to flutter. He sped up the pace, your kisses getting sloppier as the two of you reached your peaks. 

“I’m gonna...” You stuttered out. Charlie moaned. 

“Me too baby.” He replied. He lent his head down, biting into your shoulder which sent you over the edge. You came with a gasp, Charlie quickly following suit as your walls clenched around his dick, filling you up with his cum. 

Gently he pulled out of you and lowered you to the ground, and you grabbed onto him, your legs slightly shaky. You could feel his cum dripping down your inner thighs, which you tried to ignore, knowing the thought would turn you on again and you still had to have dinner. 

“We should probably shower, eh.” Charlie spoke softly and you nodded, not moving. Charlie grinned, reaching for your peppermint scented body wash, squeezing some onto his hands, before rubbing the soap all over your body. 

“I’m never gonna shower alone again.” You said as Charlie moved to let the water rinse the soap off you. 

“Lazy.” Charlie laughed and you fake gasped. 

“How dare you, I am not lazy. I just love having my gorgeous boyfriend do everything for me.” You retaliated. Charlie smiled, reaching for his own body wash and washing his body quickly before pulling you in for one last kiss. 

You reached past him and turned the water off, before stepping out of the shower and grabbing two towels, passing one to Charlie. 

You dried off and got dressed in silence, and when he was ready Charlie turned to you. 

“I’ll go find us somewhere to eat.” He told you and you nodded. He left the bathroom and you finished getting ready, applying a thin layer of foundation and a little bit of mascara and deciding that was good enough. You decided to let your hair air dry, not feeling like messing around with the hair dryer. 

Satisfied with your appearance you headed out of the bathroom to find Charlie sat on the bed, messing around on his phone. 

“Did you find somewhere?” You asked. He looked up, nodding. 

“There’s an Indian restaurant across the street that has really good reviews, and I called and they said we don’t need a reservation.” He told you. You grinned. 

“Sounds amazing, shall we go?” He nodded, and you quickly slipped on your shoes and grabbed your phone from the bed. Charlie held out his arm and you linked yours through it, and together you headed out for your dinner. 

Later that night the two of you were curled up on the bed, a movie playing quietly in the background. You glanced towards the pool, an idea forming in your head. 

“Hey Char...” You started, and he looked up, his eyes meeting yours. 

“What’s up?” He asked. You bit your lip. 

“Wanna go for a swim?” His eyes lit up, and he nodded, watching as you stood up and pulled your pyjamas off, leaving you completely naked. 

“Come on.” You said, walking across the room and outside to the pool and stepping in. “The water’s fine.” 

Charlie hopped out of bed, pulling his tracksuit pants off, leaving him naked too, as he hurried outside to join you. He slipped into the pool next to you, sitting down on the step in the water and you grinned. 

“By the way...” You started, glancing at the large clock on the wall. You paused for a moment before continuing. “Happy birthday.” 

Charlie grinned, pulling you in for a gentle kiss. After a moment you pulled away, a cheeky smirk on your face. 

“Do you want your present now?” You asked, biting down on your lip again. His eyes darkened with lust as he nodded. You climbed on top of him, straddling his lap and lent in to kiss him. 

Your lips connected and you instantly felt at home, bodies pressed against each other, a mess of wandering hands and tongues. You ran your hands through Charlie’s hair and he moaned. 

“Wanna ride you.” You muttered against his lips and he nodded, capturing your lips in another heated kiss. He bit at your bottom lip and you moaned, allowing him access to slip his tongue into your mouth again. You shifted slightly, the both of you gasping at the sensation of your crotches brushing together. 

“Can I ride you now?” You asked and he nodded, helping you get into position. You gasped as you sunk down on him, your body adjusting to having Charlie in you for a second time within a few hours. 

After a brief pause you slowly lifted yourself up before dropping back down onto his cock, the two of you moaning in unison. 

“Fuck princess.” Charlie gasped. You repeated your actions. 

“Gonna make you feel good on your birthday Char.” You told him as you began to bounce steadily on his dick. He placed his hands on your hips, helping you set a quicker pace. 

“I love it when you ride me.” Charlie said, his eyes watching your boobs as they bounced. You grinned, speeding up again, watching his face for any of the tell tale signs that he was about to cum. His eyes fluttered shut at the pleasure and your stomach knotted up. 

“I’m close baby.” He warned, and you sped up again, water splashing around you. You lent closer to him, your lips grazing his ear. 

“You can cum for me Char, I want you to fill me up with you hot cum all over again.” You whispered and he moaned, releasing inside of you. The feeling of his cum filling you up was enough to send you over the edge, cumming all over his dick as you rode out your orgasms. You lifted your hips up one last time, sliding off his dick but staying in your position in his lap. 

“Happy birthday Charlie, I love you.” You whispered, resting your head on his shoulder. 

“I love you too.” He replied, wrapping his arms around you. 

And there you stayed for the next few hours, just enjoying the skin to skin contact and the intimate feeling of each other.

[darthkruge]

Could you write a cute sequel to the Padawan! Anakin and Padawan! Reader oneshot, where they have a secret wedding two years later?

Anakin Skywalker x Reader ~ Can I Kiss You? (Pt 2)

Summary: Two years after their first kiss, Padawan!Anakin and Padawan!Reader return to the gardens of Naboo for their wedding

Warnings: Nothing. Once again, this is fluff. A bit more emotions thrown in this time, but cute fluff nonetheless!

Words: 1.6k

A/N: I can’t believe someone requested a sequel for one of my fics!! That’s so exciting!! The first part is one of my favorite fics I’ve ever written and I hope I did justice with the second <3. Also! You don’t need to have read the first part to understand this. But I do think it makes it more fun, as I kinda tied them together :)

Part 1

gif credit

“Can you believe we made it?” 

Anakin’s voice broke you out of your trance. You were sitting on the grass and leaning against him, head resting on his shoulder with his arms hugging you from behind. The palace’s gardens once again surrounded you; the familiar fresh, flowery scent intoxicating. 

You hummed, turning your head up and looking at him. He looked down at you and smiled. 

“Hi,” His voice held his laughter, teasing.

“Hi,” You replied, mirroring his happiness. 

You connected your lips with his, both of you grinning into the kiss. His metal hand came up, fingers gently holding your jaw as he deepened the kiss. Your mind wandered, remembering your first kiss. Here. 

You were pulled back to the present as his tongue gently swiped across your lower lip. You opened your mouth slightly, allowing him access. As he swirled his tongue around yours, your head spun. Your hands wove into his hair and pulled on the back of it lightly, making him groan into you. You smirked, loving the effect you had on him. He grabbed your waist, pulling you around so that you were straddling his thighs. You broke from his lips, trailing kisses up and down the side of his neck. 

Missing the feeling of your lips, he pulled you back up, reconnecting them with his own. You kissed and kissed and kissed until you couldn’t anymore, breaking apart only once you were positively breathless. You leaned your forehead against his, chests heaving as you relaxed.

“We’re gonna be late for our own ceremony if you keep distracting me like that” 

You lightly smacked his chest, throwing your head back and gaping in mock-offense. “Now who’s the one that shoved their tongue down my throat?”

“Well I guess that’d have to be me… considering you haven’t kissed anyone else…” He trailed off, looking at you somewhat sheepishly to gauge your reaction

“Anakin! That is rude! And unkind! And completely accurate, you kriffing asshole!” You said, laughing the entire time. Anakin joined in, sighing in relief when he realized you weren’t mad at him. 

“Rude and unkind? I’d say that’s slightly dramatic, Y/N”

“And where do you think I picked up the dramatic flair, hmm?” You shot back, quirking your eyebrows and glaring at him playfully.

Anakin rolled his eyes but, intelligently, didn’t argue. He just chuckled, pulling you back in for another kiss. You obliged but quickly pulled away, laughing as he pouted at you.

“Now, come on! We’re going to be late for our own ceremony if you keep distracting me like that!” You said, mocking him.

You got up and started skipping away before he could retort, smiling as you heard his footsteps scrambling to catch up with you. He pulled your hand into his, leaning down to press a fleeting kiss against your cheek. 

He pulled you forward and you laughed as he stopped to spin you around. Your breath caught as you felt yourself tripping over your own feet and squealed as you came in contact with Anakin’s strong chest.

You buried your face into him and he rubbed up and down your arms. As he peppered kisses into your hair, you did the same on his collarbone. Moments like this were what you wished you could live in forever. Just two people in love. Without the pressure of the Jedi, the Council, any of it. You wished you didn’t need to hide your relationship, your happiness. But you truly believed that any sacrifice would be worth keeping Anakin in your life. 

It had taken months of planning to even get the time to slip away with Anakin. Luckily, the Council thought you and Anakin worked well together and frequently allowed you to go on missions together. Granted, you both usually ended up in front of the Council trying to justify why you disobeyed their orders on these missions. Even if it was your idea, Anakin would always try to take the blame, despite you constantly telling him it was unnecessary. However, Anakin did have a point when he said that he was the Chosen One; they wouldn’t expel him from the order because of a series of poor decisions. He said that even if you didn’t have the Council’s protection, you could count on his.

To be fair, he wasn’t wrong. That’s why those fights never lasted. Most of your fights were like that. Silly, stupid arguments that almost always boiled down to the fear of losing each other. And, by the next morning, you were always curled back in bed together, unable to bear the idea of being apart. 

“Y/N?” 

You looked up, shaking yourself out of your own head.

“Yeah?”

Anakin looked at you quizzically. “You alright, my love?” He asked, concern evident in his voice.

You nodded. “Perfect.”

You were about to marry the most perfect man in the entire world. Kind, beautiful, giving, protective, understanding, flawed, yours. As if “perfect” even began to describe how you were feeling. You weren’t sure anything could. When you joined the Jedi Order, you never thought you’d get this. Love. And yet, here you were. 

Anakin leaned in, kissing your nose. “Me, too,” He whispered in your ear.

You walked up to the secluded altar where Obi-Wan, R2D2, and C3-PO stood. You thanked the stars for Obi-Wan; he had done so much to ensure that your secret stayed that way and you could successfully marry the love of your life. 

You stood, looking at Anakin. He held your hands and you gave his a squeeze. It was a signal that had developed over the years; whenever one of you needed reassurance or just wanted to remind them that you loved them, you’d squeeze the other’s hand. As per usual, he immediately returned the gesture. 

Obi-Wan cleared his throat. “Y/N, would you like to go first?”

You looked at him, mouthing a quick “thank you” and nodding. He smiled right back. Obi-Wan had become a good friend of yours over the years. You were quite grateful that he was here on this wondrous day. 

You took a deep breath, looking into Anakin’s deep eyes. “Anakin, when I first met you I thought you were reckless, arrogant at times, insubordinate…” You trailed off as he gave you an amused look, clearly wondering where you were going with this. 

“Gorgeous,” You added in, “and, truly, so much more. Now, while I still think of you that way, I’ve grown to love it. You inspire me, you believe in me, you understand me in a way that I thought was impossible for one person to understand another. You’re strong and loving and you always keep me safe. You make me laugh and smile and giddy and… happy. I still remember, two years ago, when you made me choke an apple and kissed me, all in one day. And that feeling I had when our lips first touched, it has remained, constant, since that moment. I want to spend my life with you. And I don’t want to put that off for another second.”

Anakin’s eyes were misty with tears by the time you finished speaking. It was hard for him to fathom -- that he’d found someone who cared about him that much. For once in his life, he believed that there was someone who wouldn’t leave. 

Obi-Wan gave Anakin a knowing smile before asking him to begin.

“Honestly, I don’t know what I did to deserve you. You’re perfect, you’re… everything. You challenge me, by the Maker, you challenge me,” Anakin said as you chuckled, nodding in agreement. “And you’re strong and good and selfless. You’ve always seen the good in me, sometimes even when  I didn’t deserve it. You sought to know me for who I am, not for what I could bring to the galaxy.” Anakin paused, looking into your eyes. He swallowed, long and hard, before going on. 

“And I know this wasn’t the relationship you dreamed of. I know I can’t give you much of anything. But I promise that for the rest of our lives I will be right here, by your side. I will love you for as long as this life allows, and for a thousand after that.” 

Tears streaked down both your cheeks, making everything else fade away. The weight of his words sat heavily on your heart; his love for you so powerful it was nearly overwhelming. But that seemed to be a theme in your relationship, didn’t it? Everything right on that edge, so close to falling apart. And yet you and Anakin balanced each other. You wouldn’t crumble. 

You once again traveled back to when all this started. You remember thinking, perhaps foolishly, that you and Anakin would make it. That one in a million couple. You thanked the entire galaxy that you were right.

You looked at Obi-Wan only to see that he was grinning at the both of you. He’d had his suspicions about you two for months before he eventually caught you kissing after you returned from a long mission. Anakin swore up and down that he “fell on you” and was “tending to your injuries” but Obi-Wan just brushed away the excuses and assured the both of you he would keep your secret. 

“You may now… kiss each other. If you so desire,” Obi-Wan said before averting his eyes.

Anakin looked at you, adoration clear in his vision. He held your gaze and gently cupped your cheek. “So… can I kiss you?”

You rolled your eyes, laughed, and leaned in. 

-----

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[sukunasbabymama]

Okie I got the pin post down, know the question is how do I do the links for quick access to my works/ writings

Is easy, everything you want to put on another post you have to copy the link. I’m gonna elaborate.

Take the post you want to put onto the navigation/masterlist or wherever you want to and click there.

After that, you just copy the link.

Then, on the post you want to add that link you highlight what you want to be the link, it can be a word (like we do with the words masterlist/rules/tags) or it can be a whole sentence, or it can be just a letter, it doesn’t matter!

After highlighting what you want, you click on the corner in where it shows a little chain(?) yeah, that means to add link.

Then you paste the link there and voilà! When you see the word with an underline it means that it has the link attached to it. You can copy links from everywhere and its the same; twitter, google, pinterest, tik tok; as long as it has a copy link option you can paste it on here.

When blog owner say their links are broken is because they change their url and the old post has the old link, so when that happens all you need to do is to copy the post again and paste the link. Of course for people with a lot of works posted is tedious so that’s why we think twice before changing the url.

With all and all, it’s really easy, it’s just coping and pasting and all the time wasted is in thinking how the post itself would look cute and stuff.

I’m here if you have more questions my loveeee~