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natewriteslol · 4 years ago

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Hey! Could i request the dorm leaders with an esper MC? Kinda like Mob psycho or Saiki k :) and maybe they don't really use this ability of theirs that much since in their world they're literally a teen who's trying to live a normal life(like Mob basically), so nobody knew about their psychic powers except Grim since the mirror said that he couldnt sense any magic in them(i'm pretty sure that psychic powers don't really count as magic but idk lol).

Feel free to ignore if you don't wanna write it! :)

A/N: Ooh this was a fun one! I haven't watched Mob Psycho (I know about that fine ass blonde man-) but I have watched Saiki k and I loved it, still need to finish it tho jlafljhdas

Characters: Kalim Al-Asim, Riddle Rosehearts, Leona Kingscholar, Vil Schoenheit, Azul Ashengrotto, Idia Shroud, Malleus Draconia

P.S: I’m so sorry this is so long omg but I guess this is a strong comeback-

Warnings: none except for language

Riddle:

-You wanted to stay as far away as possible from him

-Riddle was part of the trio of people you wanted to stay away from: Riddle, Vil, and Azul

-Riddle paid so much attention to fine details that if something was up, he'd definitely notice it

-But unfortunately you were best friends with the two goobers of Heartslabyul: Ace and Deuce

-And Riddle had started to pay attention to you and your habits, and something was off with you

-It's almost as though you tried too hard to be normal, like Jamil

-And he could never let something like that happen again, so yes he was watching you

-One day you accidently slipped up and was irresponsible with your powers

-Grim was bothering you since he got into a deal with Azul for tuna and they were standing outside with the twins, since Grim lost

-You told him to fend for himself and teleported, however you didn’t plan where you would go

-And you teleported into the Heartslabyul dorm

-What sucks is that your teleportation power was literally flashy with a bright ass green light every time you popped in somewhere

-Just when you thought you were lucky since the whole dorm was uninhabited...except for Riddle who watched the whole thing

-He was completely shocked, he didn’t know what to say other than “What did you just do?!”

-You explained to him, and that just pieced everything together

-How you solved overblots with such ease, and that one day you had a “strength potion to test for Azul” was such bs!

-Riddle ends up keeping your secret, since he values your privacy but if you do something major and mess up then he will tell!

-”I understand but please be more careful with your powers. I need to institute discipline and you are no exception, Y/N.”

-He really does care about you and doesn’t want you to be found out

-Goes the extra mile to cover for you often, and in exchange you help him out with things :)

Leona:

-He didn't really care about you at first but as you started to hang Jack and Ruggie, Leona started to get more suspicious

-Your scent had proven that you had some trace of magic, but Leona just couldn't put his finger on it

-So he sent Ruggie after you for a couple of days

-If you were a threat to Savanaclaw, Leona would crush you

-But Ruggie had only reported back that everything with you was perfectly normal

-"Just give it up Leona, they're just an ordinary human. The scent is probably weird because they're from a completely different world."

-But Leona still had that feeling, so he was keeping an eye on you

-You had made a deal with Crowley to keep your powers secret to solve problems on campus (it did cut repair costs and handymen costs in half so-)

-Your new quest was to rid the forest of the Angolo fungus that was manifesting into living fungus blobs

-The one thing that gave you away was Grim, as you both had to stop by the Greenhouse to read some info about the fungus

-The cat beast was being far too loud, not understanding why he had to go and mess around with the icky fungus

-You simply replied “It’ll be quick, I’ll just use Hydrokinesis and dry out the fungus since they’re mainly filled with water. They become fertilizer once dried so we can just leave them there.”

-And there Leona was, ears perked up once he heard your voice

-Hydrokinesis? What are you talking about?

-So he set off, following you to the forest

-You started to fly, turning the once green and lively fungus to brown dust while Grim napped against a tree

-Leona for the first time in the while, was left speechless

-Once you noticed him, you realized you had to talk to him

-Confronting him later on, luckily Leona didn’t spill to anyone

-He promised to never tell anyone about what he saw, and had no clapbacks for what you had to say

- Leona doesn’t even benefit from this secret...besides mayyybee one day asking for your help if his pride lets him

-By the Great Seven why does everything have to not be in his favor-

Azul:

-Another one who you have got to be careful around, since he’s incredibly observant

-More observant than Riddle

-Azul noticed that you’re an incredibly average person, and were incredibly relaxed even during the most stressful situations

-And almost every single time whenever you were in a tight spot, it works in your favor

-Just how is that possible? Solving overblots left and right? Every single time you disappeared the infestation of magical beasts are gone?

-One day, you were getting picked on by a three guys, their stature far above yours and incredibly strong. How could you possibly win?

-Just as he was about to scoop in a save you, you slammed one of the men into the concrete, taking on the other two by electrocuting them, the blue lightning buzzing in your palms

-They were completely knocked out, dusting off your palms and picking up your things only to face Azul’s eyes

-After giving an explanation of what that was, he was still speechless

-Azul at first was incredibly shocked and then since Azul is Azul... later on realized this had benefits

-He could just blackmail you to be his new bodyguard!

-Oh how he always manages to bend life to his will-!

-So you could just wipe his memory... or turn him into stone...nvm

-You’re now Azul’s arch nemesis since you end up saving people from his scamming and you’re basically untouchable and there’s nothing he can do about it

-But he does find your great strength admirable (and a lil hot, I mean what can u say seeing someone floating in the air with electricity flowing through them is a nice look okay Nate shut up)

Kalim:

-Oh Kalim my beloved

-He just thinks that you’re incredibly talented and a little mysterious

-You have your little quirks and he has his! Who is he to judge?

-Until one day you wanted to make the load lighter on Jamil, since the berries that Kalim had requested for were only in season in one country

-You decided to just teleport and then come back with the berries so Kalim wouldn’t be pouty

-You were outside the door ready to teleport when last minute you felt a hand on your shoulder

- “Oh Y/N you forgot-!”

-And there both you and Kalim were, in a berry field thousands of miles away from the Scarabia dorm

-Kalim screams, falling to the lush green of the field

-What happened?! Where are we?! How did you do that?!

-You quickly gathered all the berries at light speed, making sure that you got back before Jamil realized that you were gone

-Kalim wasn’t scared of you, rather impressed that you were able to keep a secret for that long, he could never!

-You’re already super cool, and on top of this you have otherwordly powers!

- “It must��ve been stressful living your life like this! But don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret!”

-Yes he sometimes asks you to perform some of your powers for him, sorry Y/N-

Vil:

-While you were his friend, he was incredibly suspicious of you

-Even though you wiped everyone’s memory, he still had the faint memory of when he was in overblot mode of you blasting him with a beam of light

-Vil was incredibly upset as one of his assistants had mixed up his items, and left one of his vital skincare items on the set of where they were filming a new commercial

-It was being shipped and would take 3 days to reach NRC

-His mood was horrible and you had to do something about it to give grace to the Pomefiore dorm

-So you went to the second story of the Pomefiore dorm, ready to use Apport (the power to pull anything before you)

-However, Vil felt incredibly guilty

-He was acting like a child and he shouldn’t have taken it out on the people who he loves and values

- “Y/N, how I was acting was incredibly inappropriate and- is that my moisturizer? How did you get it?”

-Starts freaking out as this was impossible as it was on it’s way from being shipped from another country

-This was the last straw for him ther was no justification for this that wasn't done by some form of magic

-He takes you to his room to make you sit down and give him an explanation for this

-Once you finished, Vil understood but was still freaked out

-He cares alot about keeping your powers a secret and will cover for you

-"So my aport powers need to exchange something of equal value so... I exchanged it with that Scucci purse over there-

-"MY LIMITED EDITION SCUCCI PURSE?!"

-He loves you, but you're dead to him, Y/N dear

Idia:

-Before he knew you, he didn't really notice anything off with you

-A little quiet sure but he minded his own business, he had bigger things to focus on

-Until you hung around Ignihyde more often for a project, fixing a huge generator by yourself for one of your partners for a project

-They took a break only after you told them that they could and apprehensive went to go get food and water

-Anyone with eyes could see that there's an overbearing amount of energy flowing through the fairly large sized cube

-Wait, you were wearing no gloves, you could get electrocuted! Why would have your bare hands on something like that?!

-Just as he was able to yell, it was too late, your whole body was flowing with the bright blue energy... and then you let go

-You were walking completely fine, you went and held a random wire on the ground, placing the electricity inside

-The static from your hair was gone, and you looked completely normal. . .

-Just what the hell are you?

-He did hours of research trying to figure you out, even sending Ortho to monitor you

-Yet there was nothing, you were just a “regular teen”

-Was ready to get S.T.Y.X.S on your ass- (is that too soon to joke abt my bad overblot boys-)

-Until one day he caught you again bending electricity to your will

-Is incredibly impressed with your power (lowkey wanting to experiment on you)

-After he realizes that you can read minds Idia is so damn frightened

- “O-Okay I promise not to say anything, just don’t tell anyone what I’m thinking a-alright?!”

Malleus:

-You were one of the only people who he trusted

-Malleus had always detected some form of magical aura that was otherworldly from you and it never seemed to fade

-And it wasn’t often, but it was almost like you knew what he was thinking

-Whenever he was deeply upset he felt a twinge of energy from you, and then you would insist and help him out with his problems

-And he flat out says “Are you reading my mind, Y/N?”

-You had never been directly outed like this before, you felt horrible

-You never read people’s minds unless it was very necessary

-whenever Malleus felt deeply gloomy you felt like it was important to just read his mind and help him with the problem

-You explained it to him and apologized, but he wasn’t upset

-In fact, he was smiling?

- “It seems like we have alot of things that we’re hiding from each other. But... you always had the best intentions whenever you used your abilities”

-He let out a sigh and reluctantly admitted, “And, I know that I’m quite stubborn with revealing my feelings.”

- “I will keep your secret as long as you keep mine, Child of Man,” the dragon fae said, you both shaking on it

- “I always had a feeling that you were special, but I never thought it would be something of this caliber...”

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neet0 · 3 years ago

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For the writers ask game, please:

23. how do you deal with writers block?

73. how do you visualize scenes? do you see it like a movie in your head, or do the words just flow?

76. what is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?

99. was being a writer a dream of yours when you were little? or did it spring up when your older? or is it just a hobby?

Thanks for the ask :) these are juicy questions, rambling incoming

23. I have a number of tools in my arsenal to deal with writer's block when it happens. For me, writer's block has to do with not finding the right words for what I'm writing. It rarely has to do with a lack of ideas.

Most often, I go on a really long walk listening to the playlists I have for whatever I'm working on. I've solved so many plot holes this way. Sometimes I switch up my writing medium -- it's easier sometimes to figure out what I want to write when I'm writing on my phone vs my laptop. Sometimes I switch projects -- I have a sugar sweet side project to help me balance myself when I'm deep in the angst trenches in my main project. Sometimes I go reread a book with prose I really enjoy to get the words in my head unstuck. Sometimes I talk to one of my betas about what I have so far and some of my ideas on how to proceed, and they help me out.

Overall, though, I don't really wait for inspiration or motivation to write, I just kinda...push stuff out like a tube of toothpaste for my first draft, and then use my little bursts of inspiration for editing and plotting. The rest is very methodical.

73. I see it like a movie in my head. I typically start writing the parts of the scene that are most vivid, then fill in the fuzzier stuff later. Sometimes if I've got the aforementioned writer's block on a scene I can visualize well, I will "block out" the scene by writing down what's supposed to happen step by step in "unpoetic" words, frame it in brackets, and then work on finding nicer ways to say it later.

76. My number one pet peeve is when villains are evil for the sake of evil, or when villains do shit just to be chaotic. It's stupid, lazy, and unrealistic. I completely ignore the Major and Millennium as an org in all of my Hellsing fics for this reason.

IRL, bad people never think what they are doing is bad. No one sees themselves as the villain. They always have reasons as to why what they're doing is good, or at least justified. IMHO, the best villains are the ones where you can totally see where they are coming from, but they've taken a wrong turn and traveled down a dark path.

With every villain I write, I make sure that what they're doing would make sense from their POV, even if it's obviously messed up to everyone else. In Revelations, one of the main antagonists asserts that she does what she does because she loves and wants to protect her family. She justifies every fucked up thing she does to them as ultimately to their benefit, up to and including hurting them. And I do truly believe she thinks she loves them, but she's a deeply messed up, possessive person -- what does 'love' even mean to someone that fucked up? What does it look like? Not anything good, that's for sure.

There's also another villain who's a little flatter but still internally consistent. He's just an arrogant asshole who's been raised to believe he's better than everyone else, but he believes it with his whole chest and has a whole culture surrounding him that supports those beliefs. None of this "I just wanna see the world burn" edgy 14-year-old shit.

99. You know, originally I was gonna say no, but I did once write a 100-page novella in elementary school, and a shitload of cringe poetry that'll never see the light of day. I RP'd a lot in middle and high school. I got too busy for any hobbies in college and immediately thereafter, but it came back to me in due time. So, I guess I always had the urge to write as a hobby, but I don't think I've ever aspired to be a career writer.

To date, I've only sold one original short story to a publisher, under a pen name. Certain characters, scenes, and worldbuilding/plot concepts will be lifted straight from Revelations into my own original work, but I'm still undecided as to whether I'll ever shoot for publication. I want people to read my stories, and I want to talk about it with them, but I'm intimidated by the prospect of my work being out there and taking on a life of its own, beyond what I ever intended. Writing in relative obscurity is kinda freeing in that way -- you get to write like no one's watching, write like no one is gonna take your words and twist them, write like no one will attribute the absolute worst intentions to you and your work. Idk if I could take the heat if my work ever got attention (which is a big if).

#asks #ask game #writer #writeblr #writer asks

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jandjsalmon · 4 years ago

Text

FICS I’VE READ THIS WEEK (52)

Hello everybody!! This is a long one. Sorry about that.

It’s been a full year since I started this nonsense, can you believe it!? It’s been a year since our fandom changed irreparably following that leak and horrible, horrible musical episode (that many -including myself- have never seen all the way through). In fact, I resigned myself to watching through gifs, unsubscribed from the CW and unfollowed basically every social media account for the show and cast (save one) and blocked a whole lot of new terms.

I took on this project because I wanted to remind myself how much I loved fanfiction - and how it didn’t matter what happened in canon because we had so many amazing and talented content creators. And I’m SO pleased and happy that I was right.

If anyone is interested in the spreadsheet I created for this exercise you can check it out here on this googledoc. I’m going to be taking part in a different fanfiction challenge next (check out @fanfic-reading-challenge) - so this doc won’t really be updated. It’ll be weird not keeping track like this but perhaps I’ll come up with a better, more efficient way to keep track of all the words and chapters that I read...

Anyway here are some stats:

I’ve read 22,455,909 words (7,996,649 of them Bughead) since April 16, 2020.

The bughead author I’ve read the most of unsurprisingly was @thepointoftheneedle - I reread her entire collection three times - upwards of 800,000 words of hers alone. It’s not a secret. I’m a fangirl. But I also like her as a person so that’s a special benefit of being involved in fandom.

Of course then there was my girl @likemereckless - whom I beta read many many fics for during this pandemic. So when I say I’ve read 384,883 of her words - I mean, I’ve probably read them all three or four times that as I edited and fangirled and was a cheerleader for her through the year.

One spot for improvement, I guess, would be that I only read 3 fics (total) of non-Bughead riverdale fic (though one is actually Bughead adjacent because it’s their son). I suppose I should check out some Varchie fics (as long as they don’t break up Bughead of course) - so I can support our friends in the bugvarchie community. On my to-do list.

I was introduced to new pairings I’d never read before like at the end of May 2020 - when @anniemurphys shared a single link to a “The Society” fic (a show I’d never actually watched before) - and then I got SUCKED in. That led me to a bunch of really great writers - like @livinginrhythm - who’s collection I’ve read through twice (all except the cheating fics) - and some of their oneshots have 35000 words! I kept track and I read more of their words than anyone else - a total of 1,069,203 words belong to them!

Then @feelavalanche answered my call for pairings to read - cajoling me into watching Midsommar and delving into the fic. Between Anonlady and Rimanez I’ve read 1,125,000 words (+675,000 for rimanez and aonlady +450000 words). And I also gained a crazy obsession with this low-key actor from Sweden (because they make them pretty there) and now know way more than I should... and I’ve seen way more of him than I should. 👀 Gösta *cough*.

I read pairings I’d never thought of before - like Phryne Fisher/Jack Robinson for Mother Maple - who loves Miss Fisher. I did not love the fic (I’m sorry, MM) but it was interesting diving into something new and different (even if it was only for one fic).

I watched new shows (like Never Have I Ever, Boardwalk Empire, Bridgerton, The Happiest Season, and Fargo) and with those came new fics and new pairings and new fandom friends.

I’m so grateful for all of you who came along for the ride. *pointedy looks at new friends @portiaadams @winterlovesong1 and @queenie-004*

Now I’m going to go read @thepointoftheneedle‘s new masterpiece. It’just BARELY didn’t make the cut for this week (because I’d done all my calculations before she posted it. Ha ha.)

I hope you all stay healthy and stay safe. 😘

Thanks for being here.

Anyway - here is my last reading list for this exercise. This is the list for the week of April 09-April 15th

Weeks 1- 51 (3580 chapters)

Week 52 (116 chapters)

(Annual Chapter Total = 3696)

---

BUGHEAD - 14

Becoming Eleanor by @srainebuggie (chapter 7)

Sharing A Wall by Melaniemia (chapter 3)

right back where we started from by @stonerbughead (chapter 2)

five endings jughead never wrote (and one he did) by @imreallyloveleee (1/1)

the shadows cannot keep you by @winterlovesong1 (2/2)

I only love you more when it snows by @winterlovesong1 (1/1)

make it new by @sullypants (chapter 3)

Regrets Collect like Bullet Shells by @loveandcoffeeandsimplicities (chapter 29)

The Tides that Change by @loveandcoffeeandsimplicities (chapters 3 & 4)

slowing down by @fallout-mars (1/1)

in the air by @sullypants (chapters 18 & 19)

---

Bughead Rereads - 3

subway song by @literatiruinedme (1/1)

the things that make us (the way we are) by @darknessaroundus (1/1)

don't give a damn ('bout your bad reputation) by @darknessaroundus (1/1)

---

MISCELLANEOUS - 74

In Through An Out Door by @djgrannyglasses (Hyde/Jackie - chapter 3)

e-mails from Austenland by @everyl1ttleth1ng (Austenland - 62/62)

the sweetest life (and the loving is easy when you're with me) by @latinasmoak (Penelope/Colin - first chapter!)

Fluctuations by @treaddelicately (Scott Lang/Hope Van Dyne - 1/1)

everybody wants you by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

i could never give you peace by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

you're right in the center by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

Counterplay by @alexandra-emerson (Draco/Ginny - chapters 25-28)

The breeding program by Chevalier_Barthelemy (Five/Vanya - chapter 11)

Hand in Hand to Hell by @portiaadams (Boardwalk Empire - chapter 2)

---

Misc. Rereads - 25

tenderness of heart by liminal (Austenland - 1/1)

you belong somewhere close to me by georgiestauffenberg (Anne/Gilbert - 1/1) *Anne with an E - SOULMATES! It’s amazing*

even when you're here i kinda miss you by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

i wanna call it for what it is by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

whoever says it first is the bravest by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

right before i close my eyes by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

keep pushing back the time to call it quits by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

You'd Be Here By Now by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 4/4)

will you have me? by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

tell me i should stay by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

I'll Unfold Before You by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 1/1)

Someday We're Gonna Know Too Much To Know It All by @livinginrhythm (Harry/Allie - 11/11)

#reading fics with jandy #fics i've read this week

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utilitycaster · 4 years ago

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yeah one plan I really wanna work on is an archive of tumblr metas for crit role campaign 3, to keep all the debunked theories remembered!

My only fear is whether it can be publicly accessible :(

Not sure about public screenshots of other peoples content (with links to the original post) without their consent, but an archive of just links is so much drier to click through.

How would you do it?

Hi anon,

You seem like a nice person, from this ask, who does not deserve the tirade I am about to unleash below so my answers in short are:

1. I think a fandom theory on a social media is a thing that most people will recognize might get cross posted so I would just summarize and link, were I to take on this project, which I will not be doing.

2. No idea how I'd make it publicly accessible; I'd probably either make a website, or a Google doc under an anonymous email address, neither of which are ideal, but no better options come to mind.

Anyway welcome to the consequences of entering my inbox. While writing this I enjoyed myself a lot but I was also like 'tbh this is probably why I don't get as many anons any more; it is because I am Gotdamn Annoying.'

So this was like, maybe 75% a shitpost, not in that I don’t genuinely believe it would be useful, but in that a comprehensive list is nearly impossible to do. Even if you limited yourself to Tumblr (ie, no Twitter or Reddit or god knows what else), you would necessarily be limiting yourself also to things that were tagged and/or got a decent amount of traction within the fandom as a whole.

I think there are a number of problems though. The first one is that while some theories can be debunked immediately upon their arrival into the primordial soup that is fandom, some may always remain technically possible, just vanishingly improbable, including some of my least favorites (cough secret dragons cough) because you cannot logically prove a negative unless you just outright ask the creators. And still others may be debunked - or proven - only after a very long time (eg: The Traveler is Artagan) and personally I want to only use this for debunked theories, so you'd necessarily need to keep a separate list of theories that are neither proven nor debunked, otherwise you just become a rehash of the, well, hash, that is the Wild Mass Guessing page on TVTropes rather than what I was specifically envisioning, namely, "this is a list of theories that were proven to be wrong, and here is why."

The second problem, which you may have guessed from my previous line, is that I come to bury these theories, not praise them*. I think some theories are good but ultimately incorrect and it's worth having them on display! I also think a lot of theories are bad, and that a good deal of theories aren't even really theories. You used the word meta, which I actually think of more as analysis than theories although the line between those two things is blurrier than most. But also, a lot of things people call theories or meta are, well, Wild Mass Guessing, headcanons/personal opinions, wishful thinking that has a tenuous relation to canon at best, and/or pure unadulterated nonsense. And I would include some of that, but not all, even though I often use the word 'theory' in a similarly loose way to kind of refer to anything that people are saying might be true in the story even if I think it's the ravings of a madman, even though my 'proper' definition of a theory would be an explanation that both answers an existing question and is supported by the existing text.

My point here is that I think some theories are best forgotten and my motivation is more accentuating the positive, pointing and laughing really hard at the negative, and ignoring a lot of the neutral headcanon-type stuff on the grounds that a neutral headcanon is your own private business and I respect that.

The third problem is curation. I have run into a similar issue with kind of shitpost projects that I did sort of take on and now languish and glare at me from the back of my mind when I am doing nothing on a weekend (specifically my attempt to make a personally useable Exandria timeline). Wiki-style editing has its benefits, but also significant drawbacks, because the same people who make pure unadulterated nonsense theories have the same editing power as people who are excellent at literary analysis, if not more. In an ideal world I would recommend putting something like this on the wiki, and there might even be a page now intended to serve a purpose akin to the WMG page on TVTropes (I did not bother to check), but in practice the CR wiki is currently under the thumb of someone who I will sum up briefly in Figure 1:

Fig 1: A Venn diagram.

Anyway, the fact is, the TVTropes WMG page has had things like "when the Mighty Nein fight Trent, Veth will get the HDYWTDT" even though that's not a theory and in fact by the nature of D&D is impossible to predict by any means. That's just a thing that would be kind of cool to happen. I worry that any true wiki format would fall to a similar fate. It would not actually be a list of debunked theories, telling the story both of interesting and genuinely good ideas from fandom that ultimately just did not turn out to be true, as well as some real clownshoes bullshit, but rather a bathroom wall on which to scrawl vague ideas.

So I think the only way to feasibly do this is to just spend time in the fandom and collect theories, like an anthropologist, and accept that you're going to miss some, and maybe have a Google Form for submission thereof that requires things like a post with a certain threshold of notes such that you can easily collect theories from others but are under no obligation to include every one. Even then this will be subject to personal bias, and while I personally love having executive control of things I also recognize the flaws of such a system. I would definitely include some kind of disclaimer along the lines of "This has opinions in it about theories; while the debunking is objective, whether or not it was a good theory prior to being debunked has some subjectivity involved."

*I know in the context of this line actually the speaker was in fact coming to praise the thing he said he was just going to bury; RIP to Marc Antony but I’m different.

#Anonymous #i have literally no idea how to tag this #other than #long post

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fantastic-bby · 5 years ago

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One Month

Pairing: (F)Reader x Youngjae

Word count: 4.3k

Genre: Fluff | Romance | Non-Idol!AU | Soulmate AU

Summary: While you’ve completely given up the idea of soulmates and love completely, Youngjae’s convinced that he can change your mind. Although the only thing he has is your long friendship, he’s willing to spend a whole month trying to win your heart...

Warnings: -

It’s ridiculous. That’s what you thought. There was no such thing as ‘strings’ or ‘akaito’. You had been through way too much pain to even think about the possibility of a soulmate. The dream of finding your soulmate had been crushed one too many times, and you had concluded that they just simply didn’t exist.

That thought also made you feel bitter whenever you saw couples in the streets. You wondered how they were so lucky to actually be compatible when all of your previous lovers had failed to be compatible with you. You were convinced that no one could change your mind.

Youngjae thought otherwise.

“She just doesn’t believe in soulmates,” he sighs just as Coco jumps onto his lap.

“Does she not believe in soulmates or does she just not want a relationship?” Mark asks as he hands Youngjae a mug of tea.

“Could be both.” Another sigh leaves his lips as he looks down at the steaming beverage.

Mark sits himself next to him, “How are you so sure about this anyway? Have you ever asked her directly?” He sips his own drink as he watches Youngjae.

“I’ve known (Y/n) since we were in college. I’m always the person she comes to when her boyfriends break up with her.” Youngjae pauses to run his hand through Coco’s coily fur. “She hasn’t dated anyone since her last ex. Apparently, she’s completely given up the idea of love and soulmates completely.”

“But you’re sure that she’s your soulmate,” Mark adds. He nods.

“Hyung, every time I see her I get this feeling - it’s like my heart could probably pop out of my chest and fly towards her!” He almost spills his tea when he throws his arms up into the air; his hands scrambling to steady the cup.

“If you spill that; you’re cleaning my couch,” the older man jokes. “Talk to her.” His statement makes Youngjae turn to him. “If you want her so badly, make a deal with her or something. Ask her to give you…” Mark trails off as he tries to plan it in his mind. His face lights up, “Ask her to give you time. See if you can convince her to believe in love again.”

“Doesn’t that make me sound like a dick?” Youngjae questions.

Mark hums for a moment before shaking his head, “You’re giving her a challenge. She’s gonna challenge herself to not fall in love with you, but when she does, she’ll fall harder than she realised.” It seems like a foolproof plan. Youngjae’s known you for six years. He knows you better than anyone else and he’d bet that he knows you better than you know yourself.

He stays at Mark’s apartment for a bit longer, planning what Youngjae should do in order to win your heart. They’ve concluded that showing up at your apartment in the middle of the night would not only be irrational but it would also annoy the hell out of you.

“Find some time to talk to her,” Mark says. “You guys have those monthly movie nights, right? Bring it up to her then.” His suggestion implants itself into Youngjae’s mind. The man carries the thought with him as he heads home, leash in hand and Coco running by his side.

“Doesn’t seem like a bad idea, right, Coco?” Youngjae looks down to face his tiny dog. The maltese only turns her head to look up at him, tongue hanging out of her mouth as she pants. “Yeah, you don’t think it’s a bad idea,” he concludes as they continue with their walk home.

As he walks, Youngjae wonders why you’ve never felt what he’s felt. He’s so certain that you’re his soulmate, but it always felt like something was missing. Every time he sees you, it’s like a glass of ice water on a hot day. Whenever he touches you, his entire body buzzes with joy. It just makes him wonder why can’t you feel it, too? Or if you do, why don’t you say anything?

He honestly thought he was crazy when he first met you. Youngjae just saw you as radiant and beautiful, but you always seemed to see him as a friend. So, that’s what he was to you; your best friend. He considered telling you what he felt on the inside when you were graduating, but Youngjae was discouraged whenever he saw you with one of the engineering students.

“Do you even think she would agree to it?” He questions Coco as he walks into the lift of his apartment. Coco sits patiently and looks up at him, tilting her head. “She would...right?”

»»————-　　————-««

“Pizza?” You suggest as you lean over your counter, phone in hand and eyes watching Youngjae.

“I’m fine with anything,” he shrugs as he pulls a bottle of soju out from your fridge. “Wine, soju or no alcohol?” You click your tongue as you think about it. You could skip the alcohol and avoid the possibility of a hangover in the morning - which could save you stress from work - or you could just have wine and drink the night away with Youngjae by your side.

“Fuck it; wine. My boss is driving me nuts.” Youngjae says no more as he puts the soju back in to grab the large bottle of red wine and places it on the counter.

He rummages through your cabinets to pull our two wine glasses, “What did he do this time?”

“He promoted that asshole in my office who’s only been working there for a year! I worked my ass off for four years, flew to Shanghai on my own last year because Kayla was sick, I got the company three different projects in the past two years, and Jason gets promoted because his daddy’s the CEO! Youngjae, he doesn’t even know how to use the editing software. He’s part of the editing team and he doesn’t know how to edit jack shit.” When you’re finished with your rant, Youngjae chuckles as he slides a glass of wine towards you.

“Why don’t you make friends with him and convince him to promote you?” he suggests nonchalantly.

“He’s an arrogant asshole who pushed my coffee out of my hands the other day in front of the office,” you deadpan. Youngjae’s face contorts into a grimace.

“He’s lucky none of us work with you or he’d get some sense beaten into him,” he chuckles.

“Can’t you just bring Jackson to the office one day? He doesn’t even need to do anything, he just needs to stand there and flex. Jason would piss himself the moment he sees Jackson’s big ass muscles,” you jokingly say.

“I’m not going to send my friends to your office just to scare them,” Youngjae snorts.

You let out a whine and pout, “I was just joking. But all jokes aside, I really wanna-” You imitate the action of strangling someone, aggressively shaking your hands back and forth while he laughs at you.

“Violence is never the answer, (Y/n).”

“Wouldn’t you know.” You turn to him and raise an eyebrow, silently reminding him of that fight he got into when you were still in college.

“Wh- We were twenty-two!” He scoffs, “That guy was drunk and he probably would’ve hurt Yugyeom!” You cross your arms over your chest and raise an eyebrow at him. Youngjae’s nose scrunches up in annoyance as he grumbles, “Okay, fine - I was jealous! Was that what you wanted to hear?”

You roll your eyes, “Why would you be jealous? We were just dancing.” You pick up the wine bottle and your glass, turning around to make your way to the living room.

“Because I was in love with you.” You freeze in your tracks. You slowly turn around, seeing Youngjae’s eyes trailed to the ground.

“W-What?” You watch in shock as he takes a deep breath, running a hand through his dark brown hair.

“I’ve been in love with you since we first met,” he confesses. “A-And I don’t know how you haven’t noticed at all in the past six years.” Youngjae’s looking at you now; soft brown eyes holding so much desperation that you can’t help but feel guilty.

“Y-Youngjae,” you place the glass onto the counter and rest the palm of your hands onto the smooth marble surface, “You know I don’t date anymore. I’m…” you turn away from him, not liking how vulnerable you suddenly felt. Usually, it wouldn’t mind that Youngjae would see this side to you, but now, it felt different. “I don’t believe in love anymore. It scares me.”

He rounds the counter and stands in front of you, “I promise I would never hurt you. Please, if you just give me a chance, I’ll prove to you that maybe love does exist.” You eye him skeptically. How could he change your mind? But more importantly: how have you been so unaware of his feelings towards you? “I bet I could make you fall in love with me in one month.” His voice pulls you out of your thoughts. You maintain your skeptical gaze, your arms crossed over your chest. It would be an interesting bet to see if Youngjae could play his cards right to make you change your mind. He also knows that you’re not the type of person to turn down bets.

“What would be in it for me?” Your question makes him smirk.

“If you don’t fall in love, I’ll make you dinner every night for a whole month.” You cock an eyebrow at the tempting offer.

“But, what if I do?” you tilt your head curiously.

“If you fall in love, then we get together,” Youngjae tells you. You think over the bet as you stare at him. “It would benefit both of us if you do end up falling in love, and I’ll prove to you that love isn’t all that bad.”

You purse your lips into a straight line. You’re sure that you could win the deal. After all, you’ve managed to go through a friendship with Youngjae without falling in love with him. “Deal.”

“The month begins tomorrow,” he smiles.

»»————-　　————-««

Date One

Youngjae: Are you busy tonight?

(Y/n): Nope

Youngjae: Let’s go out. Wear something casual. I’ll be there by eight.

You stare at his message. You were preparing yourself in being adamant on not falling in love with him - actually, you were just convinced that he would be unable to change your mind. After the years of heartbreak and betrayal by your past lovers, you just couldn’t believe in the idea of true love. Dating was scratched out of your life by the time you were twenty-two and the idea of marriage was tossed out the window on your twenty-third birthday.

Though, you were curious on just how far Youngjae would go in order to win your heart. So, by seven you were already getting ready. You look through your close, opting for just a crop top and a pair of denim shorts. The summer was starting to make the temperature rise day-by-day and you were certain that even at night, it was still going to be quite warm.

You hear the doorbell to your apartment ringing right as you’re grabbing your bag from your bed. You head out of your bedroom and open the door to see Youngjae nervously standing outside of your apartment. He quickly changes his stance when he realises the door is open and smiles,

“Shall we?” You step out of your apartment and follow by his side.

“Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” You question, glancing over at him.

“It’s a surprise, but you’ll love it.” Youngjae turns to you with a smile. You raise an eyebrow as he leads you out of your apartment. “It’s walking distance, but that’s all I’ll tell you,” he says when he sees the questioning look on your face. Your mind wanders to the possibilities of where he’s taking you while you both walk. It’s only when you see it that it hits you.

“The Summer Funfair!” You gasp loudly and turn to him. Youngjae has his usual bright smile on his face as he nods. He pulls out a tiny pouch filled with tokens that he had bought a week prior for the fair. When you saw that there was going to be a funfair nearby your house, you failed to leave Youngjae in the dark about it. You had bugged him about accompanying you halfway through spring when it was announced.

“You kept saying you wanted to check it out, so I thought that I could bring you here for our first date.” There’s a pink tint to his cheeks as he speaks. For the first time, you realise how cute he looks when he blushes. Youngjae pulls you through the large floral decorated gates, the two of you immediately being enveloped by a sense of joy and excitement. Children run past you, couples hold hands as they wander through the fair and Youngjae hopes he can hold yours.

You turn to Youngjae, “Can we ride the pirate ship?” Your finger points to the large ship that swings through the air in the distance and your best friend swears he feels his entire soul leaving his body as he watches it.

“(Y/n), y-you know I don’t handle heights well,” he gulps.

“Youngjae, please,” you pout. “You can’t tell me that you bring me here but we can’t ride the pirate ship.” You cross your arms over your chest as Youngjae stares at you with a gaping mouth and wide eyes. He lets out a deep sigh before nodding. You let out an excited squeal and grab his hand, dragging him straight to the ride.

All he can think of, though, is the feeling of your hand in his. Youngjae feels that familiar buzzing sensation that he gets every time your skin touches his as he looks at the way you’re completely oblivious to how he’s watching you.

When you reach the line to the fair, it seems that lady luck is by your side since there’s barely a line. Youngjae feels his stomach sink when he realises that means, “We can sit at the very back!” You turn to him with sparkling eyes. Your excitement is the only thing that keeps him from backing out and he chuckles before nodding awkwardly.

Youngjae watches the ship swing all the way to the top, stopping as it hangs upside down and he can’t help but know he might throw up. He’s lucky he skipped dinner since he knew you’d want to buy food at the fair instead. He watches as you bounce on your feet, waiting for your turn as more people line up behind you.

“(Y/n), I’m not so sure about this…” he trails off when the line starts moving forward.

“Youngjae, you’ll be fine,” you reassure him as you hold onto his wrist once again. “I’ll hold your hand through the whole thing, okay?” He stares at you before realising there’s seriously no way out of this and allows you to pull him towards the ship.

»»————-　　————-««

“(Y/n), I really don’t think I can go on another ride,” Youngjae whines as you continue to pull him through the fair.

“Let’s take a break from the rides, okay?” You turn to him. You bite the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from laughing at the relieved look on his face. The grumble of his stomach is audible to you and his face immediately flushes red. “Let’s get something to eat before your stomach hurts,” you take his hand and drag him through the crowd once again.

You stop at one of the stalls selling corn dogs and see Youngjae’s face light up. He steps forward to look at the menu, turning around to notice that you’ve disappeared. He stands a bit taller to look for you in the crowd, seeing you standing in front of a game stall with wide eyes. Youngjae lets out a chuckle - how could he have forgotten just how quick you are when you see something that catches your eye.

He buys two corn dogs before walking towards where you are, “What are you looking at?” Youngjae asks when he’s standing beside you while holding one of his hands out.

“That,” you point towards the large panda plushie.

“You were staring at that for five whole minutes?” He questions as he takes a bite out of his corn dog. You nod silently as you by your own. “I’ll win it for you.” Youngjae holds the corn dog in between his teeth as he goes up.

“Shoot all the cans down and you get to choose your prize,” the venodor tells him. He gestures to the sign sitting on the wooden counter reading “four tokens”. Youngjae digs into his pocket to pull out his tokens - all the while with the corn dog still in his mouth - before handing it to the man who hands him the toy gun.

You stand by his side, munching away at the snack in your hands as you watch him shoot the cans. You glance over at Youngjae, your mind filling with amusement at the sight of him with a toy rifle and a corn dog hanging from his mouth. You pull your phone out of your pocket and quickly snap a photo of him.

“You better win me that panda or I’ll send this to your friends,” you threaten playfully as you wave the phone in front of him. Youngjae gives you a warning glare before successfully shooting down the last can. A surge of joy washes over you and you start bouncing on your feet as you watch him hand the gun back to the man.

“The panda plushie, please,” he says as he finally pulls the corn dog out of his mouth. The vendor turns around and you can feel yourself filling with more excitement as you watch him pull the massive panda plushie off of the shelf. You start bouncing on your feet as the panda comes closer to Youngjae who takes it from the man, thanking him with a smile before he turns to you, “Ta da!”

You take the large plushie from him, your bottom lip caught between your teeth to stop yourself from smiling too wide - you’re still smiling anyway. “Thank you, Youngjae!” You hug the panda to yourself with one arm while you open your other arm at him. He can’t stop his own smile as he hugs you, his right hand held out behind you to keep the mustard on the corn dog from accidentally touching you.

When he pulls away, he’s still smiling, “Do you like it?” You nod ecstatically. Youngjae’s smile grows, his arm stays wrapped around your shoulder as you start to walk once again.

“What ride should we go on next?” You wonder out loud, causing him to pull his arm away from you.

“Please not the roller coaster,” he groans. You look between him and the loop-the-loop in the distance before grabbing his hand and dragging him straight there.

»»————-　　————-««

Date Two

“Movie night?” you question when you see Youngjae standing outside with a duffle bag slung over his shoulder and a plastic bag held in the other. He nods, a small smile pulling on his lips. You let him into your apartment and take the bag from his hands.

“There’s a whole bag of popcorn in there and two cans of sprite.”

“I’ll put the popcorn in the bowl,” you tell him, “go ahead and choose a movie.” Youngjae obliges and heads towards your living room. When you enter the living room with a bowl of popcorn, he’s already chosen a movie. “Zootopia?” He nods as he presses play just as you plop yourself on the spot beside him.

“You haven’t seen it, but you promised me a few years ago that you would. So, now I’m gonna make you watch it,” he hums.

"Are you turning me into a furry?” you narrow your eyes at him accusingly. Youngjae bellows with laughter as he shakes his head.

“I just know you’ll like it.”

»»————-　　————-««

"Are you crying?" Youngjae looks at you, stunned. You turn to him with tears streaming down your face and point at the screen,

"H-Her crying made me sad." He feels his insides soften and he coos before opening his left arm. You cuddle into his side without much thought and rest your head against his chest.

"You're so cute," he chuckles and glances down at you.

"You get amusement out of my crying?" You glare at him accusingly. Youngjae stares at your glare before doing something he's hesitated with for years; he leans down and kisses your forehead.

"I just said you're cute - nothing else.” You look up at him with cheeks flushed from the gesture. Youngjae only smiles at you softly. You look into his brown eyes and feel butterflies erupting in your stomach.

“That’s weird,” you think out loud as you turn away from him. He hums questioningly but you shake your head, “I-it’s nothing.” You’re more confused than ever at the thought of Youngjae being the person who makes you feel the way you do. Throughout the rest of the movie, your mind is occupied by how he’s treated you.

“Are you okay? You seem a bit distant,” Youngjae asks as he turns to look at you. You’re snapped out of your thoughts and nod quickly.

“I’m fine,” you reassure him. He gives you a weird look but doesn’t question further and instead, stands to bring the empty bowl into your kitchen. Once you’re alone, you continue to think about Youngjae - or more specifically, his actions. The night ends with you bidding him goodbye at your front door where he waves as you close the door. You lean against the door and think about it further.

Maybe Youngjae would find your heart easier to win than you thought.

»»————-　　————-««

Date Three

You step into the cafe with wide eyes. “This cafe is so cute!” you gasp when you look around at the white walls decorated with fake vines hanging from the ceiling.

“I told you you’d like it,” Youngjae chuckles as he watches how you admire the entire cafe. He loves to watch how excited you get around cute things. “Go ahead and sit down first, I’ll order for you.” You oblige, heading off to one of the tables by the large window that outlooks the street. You sit down and watch as Youngjae lines up at the counter.

You tell yourself it’s because he’s trying to win your heart when you can’t help but admire his efforts. Youngjae truly is a gentleman. Whether or not you failed to pay attention to him throughout the years of your friendship was something that you debated over silently. Youngjae returns to you while you’re still lost in thought, the sound of his placing a tray on the table being the reason you come back to reality.

“I got you macaroons and iced tea,” he says as he places the tall glass in front of you. Youngjae takes the plate off of the tray as well as his own drink before moving the tray aside. You coo when you see the macarons.

“They look like little kitties.” You pull out your phone and snap a quick photo of the cutely decorated macarons before gingerly picking up a mint green one. The cat face and ears are drawn on with chocolate and you almost feel bad for eating it because of how cute it is.

“(Y/n), you can’t just stare at it forever,” Youngjae chuckles when he sees your hesitation.

“I can’t just eat it, it’s so cute,” you pout and turn the dessert around to show him the cat face. “Would you eat me, Youngjae?” you move the macaron around him as though the cat was talking to him. He swipes the macaron from your hand and pops the whole thing in his mouth. A smile grows on Youngjae’s face when he sees your gobsmacked expression. “You’re so heartless.”

“If you don’t want to eat them, I’ll eat all of them.” His hand hovers over the rest of the macarons threateningly and it causes you to slowly pull the plate closer to you.

“Nuh uh, I’m not going to let stone cold Youngjae eat all of them.” You decide against looking at the macaron since you know you might feel bad again - you honestly don’t know why you do - and pop it into your mouth. The moment you bite into it, the sweet and citrusy flavour of it envelopes your tongue.

“You’re adorable,” Youngjae chuckles, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he tries not to smile too wide at you. You face contorts in confusion at the sudden statement. “You were doing that happy dance you do whenever you eat something you like.” Your entire body freezes and you’re surprised when you feel flustered.

You silently take a sip from your drink to avoid saying anything. Youngjae lets out another chuckle but decides against commenting on your flustered state. You look away from him and out the window, desperately trying to make your blush go away as quickly as possible. He watches with a small smile on his face. He’s made you flustered before, but he’s never made you this flustered.

"Anyway," you clear your throat, "what's your plan for the whole month?"

"There is no plan," he states. You give him a confused look. "I'm just going to treat you like I always do. I know you better than anyone else, and I'll use what I know to win your heart."

"You sound pretty confident in yourself, huh?" you tease. Youngjae smiles before reaching over to take your hand in his,

"It's because I know I do." You look down at his hand that's holding yours so gingerly, his thumb running over your knuckles. You watch as he suddenly stands and rounds the table to sit at the empty seat beside yours.

Youngjae leans towards you and kisses you. You swear there's a switch inside you that flicks the moment his lips are on yours because you know,

You know you didn't love him this way before.

58 notes · View notes

piccolina-mina · 5 years ago

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Hi, im the anon wondering about which character is the favorite. Tbh i was just curious, but i understand how that could create drama 😅 my bad. Youre probably thinking im from the rnm fandom and you would be right. I had a hunch of which character it was, but i wasnt positive. I dont really see them playing favorites in terms of writing but that might just be because the favorite character is also my favorite character. I was curious as to your opinion but I understand if you dont wanna answer

I think narratively the show favors Michael. The writers openly discuss how much they love writing for him. He's everyone's favorite. He's Carina's favorite. He's a fan favorite. And that is fine.

But I do think there are some days when it's so blatant that it's a clear flaw on the part of those creating the narrative. There are many layers to this too, some more disconcerting then others, but I'll stick to the narrative.

The fact that I (and others I'm sure) don't actually have to mention his name and people automatically know sort of proves the point.

And it's not a slight against his character or the actor, and it's not to suggest that his storylines aren't enjoyable either. Case in point, personally, I think he and Alex are having the strongest personal arcs out of everyone this season.

But then, that isn't exactly surprising is it?

More often than not, I feel like it's Liz's story in name only, but consistent, deep, gritty, well thought out etc storytelling falls on Michael. I can see and feel all the time and energy dedicated to this specific character.

That's cool, but when you have an ensemble cast, the hope is that it's spread out a bit better. The first season is testing the waters. The second season gives you a better idea of how things are and will be now that there is a rhythm.

In the second season, Liz, our lead, has gotten lost and swallowed up in the plot. Jeanine is great and has some shining moments, but she doesn't exactly have her own personal story that isn't wrapped up in alien stuff. This is where it's frustrating that ... we don't spend a lot of time with the Ortechos, something they've attempted to rectify a bit this season, but it's still mostly unsuccessful.

This is where her arc with Rosa has not been as strong as it should be and got lost in Liz trying to bring Max back. This is where I repeatedly point out the lack of focus on her relationships outside of the pod squad. Her friendships with Maria and Alex suffer a great deal and honestly with Kyle as well.

This is where all things alien consume her, and she doesn't seemingly have a life or rather chooses to expend any focus to a life outside of the pod squad and their issues.

And this is where because of all her energy being put into such a narrow focus on solely alien issues often at the expense of every other facet of her life, she often feels decentralized from her own narrative.

But we have Michael, and I do think one of many reasons he's such a favorite is because of all the focus he gets and how well-rounded and developed he is compared to the others. I mean if that's the character everyone pours everything into ... then yeah, he would be the favorite, yeah?

He's fun to play with, the witty oneliners, the bad boy with a heart of gold, the misunderstood tragic not a hero but really a hero, the lovable jackass, the endearing "screwup" so on and so forth. He's wrapped up in a bow, the catnip of all the most endearing tropes.

And they love peeling back layers for him and developing him and expanding on his background and characterization carefully and thoughtfully.

And that's awesome and enjoyable even, but when you have an ensemble cast and it doesn't begin to be spread about evenly, then it's a reasonable nitpick.

I feel like we have a better grasp on his past than any other character. He naturally was the one who wanted to go back home, but almost all of the past alien history and folklore has essentially centered him or involved him more so than Isobel and Max.

He's the one who heads to and finds out about Caulfield. He's the one who sees his mother and where the aliens were held. He's the one who watches her die in front of him. He's the one who continued to be tied into that plot while they hand waved why Max and Isobel weren't interested in learning more when they dropped enough breadcrumbs to support why they should be.

Until this season, until very recently with Isobel, everything related to their origins fell on him, he is the face of the pod squad being invested in finding out about their history. It then ties in with his tragic backstory as the foster kid who never had nor felt "home."

By spending a season and a half essentially centering him alone in a narrative that should involve all of them, it seemingly made it his plot. And that's BEFORE we even get to these recent revelations with Sanders and this implication that Michael was "the special one" not Max (which the mere idea of a special one at all was not and has not been something I particularly care to subscribe to in the first place), so it's doubling down and solidifying something they didn't need to emphasize this much.

The alien past has always felt like Michael's story and Max and Isobel are just hitching a ride. The many ways it was only tied to Michael makes it that way. It was Michael that Jesse had a file on.

It's Michael whose first love is a product of the Manes Project Shepherd element. It's Michael who gets that conflict with Alex.

The Valentis have just as much ties to that as the Manes and yet that angle is barely explored or used to add an extra layer to the tension between Max and Kyle for example.

It was just barely used to flesh out Kyle during the first season, and then seemingly dropped altogether this season when he should have just as much claim in this narrative as all three pod squad members and Alex.

Ironically, this is a big disservice to Isobel. And this is where this exclusive focus on pouring so much into one character comes at the expense of others.

Isobel, people like her and all, but when I look at the actual narrative and her place in it, if not for the fact that she's an alien, she's not a character with much purpose, and that's a huge problem.

Because narratively, outside of being used as a victim, they honest to goodness don't know what to do with her. They barely invested enough in her character to give her a fully formed, consistent personality. There's no real pull there. And as the only female alien, they could have done so much more beyond being a vessel for Noah and an abortion storyline where the only point was to make a statement about women and reproductive rights that didn't land as intended because of Isobel's privileges and access.

Max benefits from being the co-lead and being part of the primary love story. And then of course there is the eternal and patently unfair and imbalanced fraternal angst that ALSO is more often than not used to serve Michael's storyline and development.

It's about Michael working through his resentment. It's about Michael's abandonment issues. It's about Michael's battle with self worth. And 2.05 was about Michael realizing how much his brother always loved him. And him growing from that realization. And him saving his brother.

Just like now, it's about Michael protecting Max and "suffering" for it. It's about Michael being a dark horse martyr and sin eater for his siblings after taking the blame for killing the girls from Isobel and now damning himself to a screwed up life on Max's behalf.

The weight of the revelations geared toward Michael. The Sanders connection was significant and that was ushered in through his connection to Michael.

In the same vein we found out Michelle Valenti has what should be an equally as impactful and longstanding connection with Max ... but did it carry the same weight as Michael and Sanders at all even though those respective relationships have run neck in neck throughout the series? No.

We know Maria was sidelined all first season. This season most of what they've given us feels performative to address the concerns people had because of how things are handled ... with her splitting redundant narratives with side characters, having things happen offscreen, or shuffled to a side, or left on the editing floor.

And her biggest relationship all season is? Michael.

Kyle is getting sidelined this season. There's so much we don't know and could about him. His love interest storyline also feels performative and perfunctory... they didn't invest in it at all. It was like going through the motions.

Rosa's storyline hasn't exactly taken off as you'd have expected given the circumstances. And they just jumped around with key and crucial character building and meaningful moments with that too. They sailed right on past the Maria and Arturo reveals without letting them breathe. Almost like they just didn't have any strong interest in doing much outside of hitting the necessary notes: tell Maria, reunion with Arturo, save Max, overdose.

Liz's core relationships are all over the place. Maria, Arturo, Rosa, Alex, Kyle ... not enough investment in them. Not enough digging deep into them. Not enough exploration. While Max was gone most of the season. And she worked with and provided support to Michael and Isobel, hung out with Cam, but continuously neglects the aforementioned others who should matter.

But Michael's core relationships have layers and stay intact ( Max, Isobel, Alex, and Maria) and he gets substance with other ones ... Kyle ... Sanders ...

So yeah, nothing wrong with having favorites. And if that person is your favorite then maybe it's easier not to care or think too hard about it or whatever.

But the reason I dislike when you can tell when one character is a favorite is because of how it affects the narrative overall.

It seriously impacts the storytelling. It's like writing entire chunks around a character and this specific position you want them instead of writing the story and weaving in the character.

It can take me out of a piece when I can tell the objective is to get to a precise moment with a specific character. When I can tell that some of the writing is obligatory and then "the real fun" happens with X.

It's like stuffing your face with all of your vegetables because you have to in order to get to that ice cream Sundae. Like "if I get through A-W then my reward will be Z."

This is me coming from an objective viewpoint because I can separate when analyzing. I have actually enjoyed Michael a lot this season. He and Alex have had the best character growth this season, in my opinion, and I really love that.

But this is also a glaring issue, and I hate when favoritism bleeds into a series, especially an ensemble cast when it leads to issues with the storytelling.

And despite my enjoyment, that's what I feel is happening here a lot.

It certainly isn't the first and only show I've noticed this with. And yeah, I've even made these same observations and criticisms when it's my favorite character too.

It's the same on another series I watch with one of my favorite characters, and it's so frustrating except in that case, it's a character who can do no wrong even when they're wrong, and ... that's a whole other discussion.

But yeah. I don't expect agreement with this. It's probably one of those unpopular opinions or hot takes that can definitely bug people, especially those whose favorite character is Michael.

But this is my observation and why I feel that like him or not, storytelling suffers, is predictable, or underwhelming, or annoying, or jarring when you can sense the obsession and favoritism.

#it's late so that may not be a comprehensive response #anyway ... I'm not here for another round of fandom fkery so if drama is what you want to start go elsewhere #rnm discourse #rnm asks

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the-gunslock · 5 years ago

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Amanda 3 - Hammer

Third canon-deviant fic about Amanda Holliday and her journey to being greater, from a mini-series of four.

"This one would be pret-tyyy cool…"

The burnt-blonde Shipwright scrolls through the 'Collections' of Exotics Guardians found in their journeys, analyzing their perks as she patiently waits to be called inside the most envied library in the City.

For some seconds, her emerald eyes fall on a pair of knightly silver Gauntlets that could be what she looks for. She ‘hmm’s to herself for a second, trying on some shaders, and nods in approval.

"Amanda, let's go."

Her head moves to pay attention to the Warlock that has just arrived at her usual spot at the Bazaar, greeting her with a nod as she stows her tablet away and is transmatted into the library. She makes a mental note of the name ‘Stronghold’. Shaxx would probably appreciate her dedication to swordplay.

Other pieces like Fr0st-EE5 and Transversive Steps, which do not require Light usage, would also benefit her while she fought. Good to know, good to know. So many loopholes to be exploited.

Ikora Rey had devoted the day to silent studying and rewriting of her books, still not completely updated after the Traveler’s awakening in recent times. In order to focus better, she does most of it quietly and alone in the library, save for the Hidden that appear to report to her on occasion. Today was an exception, for she allowed the Tower’s Shipwright to keep her company under the pretension that she wanted to learn, and there was no better teacher for that than Ikora.

Ikora’s library has dim, yellow lighting and a rustic aesthetic, with bookshelves and flooring made of dark wood covered with blue and white tapestry. The overall layout of the place was circular, the center having her desk and simple chairs and couches disposed about.

"So, Amanda." Ikora begins, making herself comfortable at the table and suggesting Amanda to do the same, across from her. "What do you seek?"

Amanda quietly taps her fingertips at the table, fidgeting as she tries to formulate a good reason.

"I wanna learn how to… to fight. Like y'all Guardians do."

Ikora doesn’t turn her head, but smiles.

“Is that so?”

“Uh… yeah?”

Ikora gives a chuckle as she finishes rewriting a page.

“I think not.”

“...Why not?”

Not faltering, Ikora turns her head to face her friend as she hovers her hand above the book. “Because if you wanted to learn how to fight, you would have asked Zavala. And, if the words I received are true... you already did.”

Amanda doesn’t have an answer to that, only looking at the desk and pressing her lips together, the inquietude only building up. She observes Ikora using an emanation of Solar heat to dry the ink on the pages.

“Ikora, I… want to be a Guardian. I thought I could ask you to teach me how to think like one.”

As the Warlock turns to the book again, she turns a page and looks at a previous version of the book, also spread open on another part of the table, for reference. “Okay. And why aren’t you?”

She is caught off-guard by this question. She struggles to let out her answer, and the next sentence comes out a bit more condescending than she’d hoped.

“Because I’m not a Lightbearer?” Amanda replies as if it was something obvious.

“During the Red War, we weren’t either.” Ikora says as she starts writing once more. “And I went through the same dilemma. I was lost. I looked to the ashes emanating from the City, and vowed… never again. And since I had nowhere left to go, I found myself on Io, in search for answers. As time passes me by, I realized I was left without answers, without Light, without my team... without anything to hold on to.”

“And then?”

“A Guardian found me. One of those who had made the pilgrimage to the Shard of the Traveler and recovered their Light. They could have refused, but they didn’t. They could have quit the fight, but even if they knew they were going to die, they didn’t. And their very presence reminded me that, while the terms are, indeed, very associable to the outside observer, they are not the same.”

The Shipwright listens intently as Ikora recounts her tale. There were many angles to this. Most, she didn’t consider. Multiple viewpoints are a virtue Guardians must possess.

“It took me some introspection and some... unprecedented incidents, for me to believe that I am more than just my Light, and in being greater than the Light, protecting it and the people who live through its influence is what made me who I am. So, as long as you strive to perfect yourself, you’ll always be one."

Ikora eyes her friend without turning her head this time. Her eyes are amiable, as fierce as they looked.

"A Guardian, Lightbearer or not... is always a Guardian.”

The Warlock delivered each part of that sentence in a very light, but thorough manner, a way that Amanda didn’t even think was possible. It was a nail she still had to hammer, that Guardians are more than just their Light.

During the Red War, Amanda had argued with Zavala after the Traveler was imprisoned and the Light lost. “There are thousands of people like me stranded down there in the City", she had said; “We're all the same now, Holliday. The Light is gone.” She was too angry to realize at the time, but looking back, she realizes she had taken the Guardianship for granted.

While she still didn’t like having to obey Zavala and leave citizens to die, it was paying off, in a way. Everything they did, they did for mankind. And it was beginning to thrive again, the best they could. She could feel it, even if her mission was far from over and new threats were still bound to come.

With a deep breath, she promises to face them gladly.

"Thank you, Ikora." The Shipwright says, eliciting a smile and a deep nod from the Vanguard that was still focused on writing the page.

Amanda pulls out her sketchbook and starts drawing over a sketch of herself. But before she continues, she has an idea for the final part of the 'secret-unnamed-project'.

"Can I, ah, look around for a book?”

“Do you need help with anything?”

“Yeah, actually. Wanna know where the name ‘Leviathan’ comes from.”

Ikora pulls up her own tablet, doing a query search for the word on the archive. It narrows down to multiple editions of a religious book from the old world, called ‘Bible’. Taking a break from writing, she hovers over to a particular section of the library, taking an intricate, gold-foil crafted book, meticulously turning its pages to where the query told her. “Job 41:1–34”, it said. She floats back to Amanda, laying the open book in front of her, before going back to her own seat.

She devours the verses, at first barely making heads or tails of what was on the pages. 'Why'd people back in the day write so weird?' She thought to herself. But eventually she managed to understand what it was about, and suddenly the name of Calus' ship made much more sense.

"Did you gather something new, my friend?"

Amanda recaps in her mind, making sure to try not to miss anything.

"Right, so- uh...” Amanda begins to explain her thoughts, trying not to let anything pass her by. “There was this man named Job, whose faith in this god couldn't be waived. In this part, the god is tryna teach Job how questioning a powerful being is futile by presenting him beasts so powerful that only he can control, one a them being a sea monster called, you guessed it, the Leviathan."

"How awfully appropriate."

"Yep. Apparently there were two beasts, a sea one, and a... land one."

Realization came into Amanda's mind as a name for her project finally snuck through her hands and into the paper.

"Reminds me of the World Serpent..." She adds nonchalantly, having doing some reading on the Edda in her free time back at Hiver’s place.

Ikora finally perks up from her book, stretching her writing hand. "You've been doing some homework."

"Hard not to, when you date a Warlock."

"And you are going to tell them about this… when?"

The one question Amanda dreaded, and it shows. Her 'Lightless Guardian' idea was nothing short of life-threatening, it's amazing she's got this far without being stopped.

Amanda had survived her whole life on the road, fighting off Fallen and hiding with hers and other families, but she would never, ever get rid of the pain of losing them. She survived and is happier than she's ever been, even if it's not a perfect life. Now, she was Hiver's family, and cannot bear the image of her lover having to go through the same — because of her own incompetence, nonetheless.

There was no telling how Hiver would react, the woman is already being a pile of anxieties, but of one thing she was sure.

It wouldn't be pretty.

“I don’t... know.“

"I can help if you'd like. But remember that this is your responsibility — and your burden."

She nods with a nervous face and gives a deep sigh.

“I’ll think of something. Can you take me back to the Tower?”

“Yes. And Amanda?”

“Yes?”

“Congratulations on finding love. Hold on to it. It is powerful.”

As nervous as she is, she nods smiling.

“Ophiuchus?” Ikora says to no one. Her Ghost, white and red and with spiking protrusions on the back of his shell, appears in the air next to her shoulder.

“One second.” He replies, spinning.

With a flash, Amanda is back at the Tower’s bazaar. Eyeing the drawing she has just finished, she runs to the Courtyard, in search of a person who could help her make it look much better.

Trying to ignore the built-up tension, she runs.

The Awoken woman stationed at the Tower Courtyard is, as usual, cleaning up dust and reorganizing her inventory, because it’s not home yet, but it would be. Then she hears a familiar voice calling to her.

“Tess!”

“Oh! Hello, Amanda. What can I do for you today?” Tess greets the Shipwright, assuming her usual hands-behind-back posture and giving her usual, welcoming smile.

“See, I got a lil’ project o’ my own, and wanted an expert’s opinion on how ta make it look the sharpest it can.”

Amanda presents the sketchbook with her sketch to Tess, who analyzes it meticulously.

It’s a suit of armor. Titan armor, to be more precise.

“Gothic knight inspiration… baroque decor… exquisite. Practical, but carries a lot of elegance. This looks incredible. Also, you draw extraordinarily well.”

“Thank you,” The Shipwright says, blushing. “But it lacks color. What would ya say works?”

“Excuse me.“

Tess takes the notebook into what appears to be a scanner, converting Amanda’s drawing into a digital projection that can easily be colored, and bringing it to the desk where they both could see it.

“Right, in my opinion the ornaments and trim should definitely be gold.” She says, quickly selecting the decorative parts of the plates and changing their colors to a light golden color. “The style reminds me of Gjallarhorn and the old Iron Lords’ armor. Maybe we can make it a bit more orange…”

“Would black fit with it, maybe?”

She changes the main plate colors to black. Tess and Amanda look at each other in disapproval.

“How about…” Tess changes the color to a deep blue.

“Can you try dark gray?” Amanda asks, and Tess obeys. However, it still seems to not fit, and they experiment with a midpoint between blue and gray.

“What do you think?”

“I like it.”

“Me too.”

Amanda scratches her nose, taking some time to think. The girls mix and match palettes for a while until finding one that fits the armor well.

Dark gray plates with crimson details, gold ornaments, and a white, gold-trimmed mark.

“Whew… Thank you, Tess. Anything I can do to repay ya?”

“The pleasure is mine. Although if you have some Silver on you…” Tess says, smiling smugly. “Just kidding.”

“My girlfriend does. She’ll probably come by again, she wants that duster you’re selling. Says she wants to look like a cowgirl.”

Tess laughs at this, eliciting a grin from Amanda, who picks her sketchbook and transfers the colored illustration file from the Awoken vendor to her own tablet, almost walking off and ready to send it to Crux/Lomar for forging.

“Oh, Amanda.”

“Yeah?” She turns back to face Tess.

“Does it have a name?” She asks in genuine curiosity.

Amanda smiles contagiously in pride, remembering what she read from the Bible in Ikora’s library. She had the perfect name for her project, given what was going down on the System — and how she’d fight it, if need be.

“The Behemoth.”

#destiny 2 #destiny fic #amanda holliday #hiver the gunslock #ikora rey #oc x canon

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years ago

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Liam & Edie

Liam: get out of work early, I need your help Edie: alright Edie: what are we doing? Liam: I finished a 🎬📽🎞 & it has to be screened tonight at a specific time Edie: do you know what cinema you wanna infiltrate Edie: like, max capacity blockbuster moment or a more independent arthouse style? Edie: I have ideas for both, if you don't already Liam: gotta be sold out seats for max exposure Edie: looking up whatever dumb superhero shit is on right now Liam: put the word out for me too, yeah? 📢 you've got more 👀 on you Edie: of course Edie: keep it vague but intriguing? Edie: what's the angle Liam: my sister is Edie: your sister? Liam: she's 16, would've been Liam: today Edie: the film is for her Edie: not a hard sell Edie: every twat loves a party Liam: every twat's forgotten about her already Liam: I have to do something Edie: I'll get all the people there I can Edie: 16 is a big one Liam: I'm looking for a cake to blow up Liam: big enough to splatter lots of rows but not too huge to sneak in Edie: really do need a pram Edie: if you do wanna go big, my ma has a kiln, easy to bake in and quicker Edie: I could put it in a backpack or some ridiculously oversized handbag my sister has Liam: you're amazing Edie: you or the audience haven't tasted the cake yet Liam: be more fitting if it tastes bad Liam: like we're shoving bittersweet down everyone's throats Liam: & in their faces Edie: that's easily done Edie: toxic hazard here we come Edie: how long have you been working on the vid? Liam: a while Edie: are you happy with it? Liam: there's no more time left to do edits Liam: I gotta get it out there, like I said Liam: 18 is gonna need something bigger Edie: timing is key Edie: did you talk about it Edie: what she'd want to do Liam: looking that far ahead wasn't something she let herself do Edie: that's fair Edie: I haven't looked that far ahead before Edie: we'll make it special Edie: something she'd approve of Liam: there has to be some way to throw a party after that's not the standard gay shit Edie: an anti-party Liam: yeah, without being ☢️ & barcode tattoos about it Edie: so a disgusting cake, what else can we fuck up Edie: bastardized 🎈s are almost a given Edie: maybe we can play some party games Liam: use your talents on the happy birthday song Edie: I'll do my best for you both Edie: did she believe anything happened after you die? Liam: she wanted to come back as someone else, show up back in my life just when she reckoned it'd gotten settled & boring Liam: but I don't think she really believed that, just didn't want me to turn into one of those twats Edie: yeah, most people want to believe something like that Edie: some continuation Edie: but the percentage who genuinely do, I don't know Liam: a lot of shit she said was for my benefit of my ma's, I don't know if she knew I knew that but I did Edie: Yeah Edie: but through reassuring you, she was probably trying to give herself that same comfort Edie: again, whether it worked is unlikely, but we keep going 'til we don't Liam: yeah Liam: I have certainty in her not wanting everyone to act as if she was never here this fast, I'm going with that Liam: her friends, a lad she liked, they're supposed to give more of a shit Edie: we'll make them remember Edie: I was thinking Edie: she'd be in transition year now Edie: they're always having bollocks seminars and lectures Edie: that would be easy to hijack Edie: well, not easy, but we could Liam: you're so fucking smart Liam: I didn't even think Edie: it'd be a way to get the ones who won't hear our call tonight Edie: which are arguably the ones who need a lesson in caring more so Liam: keep it going like pass the parcel Edie: a project worth the waste of time that whole year is Liam: then a holiday, me & you Liam: where we won't waste any time Edie: are we going to find a holiday home? Liam: did you like living with me? Edie: so much Edie: I wanna live with you properly Edie: all the time Liam: then yeah, we'll find a holiday home & when we get back you can move into mine Edie: really? Liam: our mas will both have shit to say about it but so do we Edie: if they're really going to object to that degree Edie: we'll work for enough money to rent our own place Liam: & sleep wherever else we have to until we've got that Edie: as long as I'm with you Edie: I miss you when I'm not Liam: I wanna be with you all the time too Edie: maybe if we split our time between mine and yours, they wouldn't even notice Liam: they can tell themselves they're keeping a better 👀 on us if we do Edie: yeah, and it's not 'as serious' as moving in together Edie: in their minds Edie: guess it'd be better if we were going 'round sleeping with anyone and everyone Liam: I've had more offers since I got a girlfriend than before Liam: must be a shared view between our parents & lots of the girls at school Edie: 😡 Edie: adds to them feeling something if they get to fuck someone over at the same time as, I guess Liam: I'll never hurt you or let anyone else do it Edie: I know you won't Liam: I love you Edie: I love you Edie: no one is gonna stop us from living the life we want Liam: [a pic of a pram he has stolen for her to fill with stuff and there's a birthday pinata in there currently like oh hi] Liam: I found this for you Edie: 😍 Edie: Baby! Edie: you got me wheels Liam: I couldn't stop thinking about you struggling with a heavy backpack Edie: You're so sweet and I'm so excited Edie: is what's going in the pinata a surprise? Liam: I was gonna tell you but lets keep the excitement going Edie: is it 🕷s Edie: or 🦷 Liam: do you know where I can get that many 🦷? Liam: that'd be a great idea Edie: 🤔 Edie: maybe a vet's dumpster Edie: think people dentists study 'em Liam: maybe my ma kept our 👶 teeth Liam: I'll have a look Edie: Mine kept hers Edie: you'd need quite a few to make an impression Liam: the fake blood I'm gonna add will help Liam: but you're right Edie: there's loads of roadkill around mine Edie: could get that for the 🦴🦴 Liam: I don't know if I want you touching it though Liam: you could get sick or something Edie: I've got gloves Edie: the only illness they had was potentially bad eyesight 🚗 Liam: you've gotta be careful, baby Edie: okay Edie: for you Edie: how else can I help you though? Edie: the cake is in Liam: keep thinking, all your ideas are perfect Edie: I wanna be Edie: what about spiking the drinks, but not in a fun way Edie: or is that too 👿 Edie: just a laxative or something, nothing mad Liam: it don't matter, we won't drink it Edie: I definitely won't Edie: don't even miss any of it Liam: we need something that'll make them 🤮 she did lots of that Liam: only fair Edie: what does that 💊🧪 wise Edie: too much salt is a dead giveaway with one sip Liam: charcoal is probably too big a giveaway too Liam: & you can't get ipecac no more Edie: 😕 ugh Liam: we'll have to settle for the laxatives Edie: they'll make themselves sick all on their own Liam: you did make a fucking disgusting cake Edie: you don't even wanna know what I put in it 😏 Liam: I want all your secrets Edie: you can have everything Edie: [a gruesome list of god knows what] Edie: it smells so gross cooking right now Liam: don't make yourself 🤮 Edie: I'm getting some fresh air Liam: what can you 👀? Edie: from here, the pond Edie: which also smells, so I might need to go look at the 🍅🥔s growing instead Liam: go decide on your outfit Edie: what do you want me to look like? Liam: beautiful Edie: nothing more specific? Liam: nah, not until I've seen what you come up with Liam: you test well Edie: 🤞 Liam: 😍 Edie: that's what I want Edie: always Liam: I want you Edie: I can't wait to go away with you Edie: are we going to the sea Liam: we can Liam: we can go anywhere you like Edie: I just wanna watch the sun go down under the waves with you Liam: you watch that, I'll watch your face while it does Edie: You're so Edie: you make me feel like a person Edie: a real one, that matters Liam: you matter to me, Eds Edie: I'm not used to this feeling Liam: you know I'm not either Liam: we'll get used to it Edie: it's like I believe you but I can't believe it Edie: if that makes sense Liam: I get it Liam: I do need you to believe me though Edie: I do Edie: you're just perfect Liam: nah, I'm not Edie: to me then Liam: whatever's wrong with me, we're good together Edie: we're going to make a perfect baby Edie: that always feels like a person Liam: I'm gonna love it even if things go wrong Liam: I need you to know that too Edie: I know you will Edie: and I believe that Edie: I wouldn't have agreed if I didn't Edie: you won't be able to not love your own child Edie: even if it's hard Liam: & I'll wanna be with you, perfect or not Liam: whatever else happens Edie: we can do it Edie: I love you and I want it to work Edie: I wanna be a good mum and give the baby all the love and attention and everything it could ever want and need Edie: that is so much more than most people have Liam: the baby is so fortunate to have you for its ma Liam: you've done everything right already & its not even here yet Edie: I wanna do it right Edie: I can't imagine doing it wrong Liam: I know you will Liam: you set your mind on shit & it gets done, that's how you are Edie: makes me sound like an assassin Edie: don't hate that Liam: I don't hate thinking about you holding a 🔪 Edie: next video Liam: it'll be on my mind until then Edie: I can give you a preview Edie: if you show me the fake blood Liam: [does obviously] Edie: 🤤 Liam: I made extra for you knowing you'd be into it Edie: That's just one of the reasons we work Liam: are you gonna give me the rest of them? Edie: I'll start on the list but I don't know if it'll ever be done enough to be conclusive Edie: and I'd hate for you to think I'm not serious Liam: that's another reason why we work Edie: see, they keep adding up Edie: good thing I didn't commit to tattooing it on me Edie: run out of space so quick Liam: I don't think her video is done enough Liam: I don't know what to do Edie: You'll regret it if you miss her birthday, I think Edie: you'll have chances to add to it and improve on it every year if you want Edie: it's a tough one to know what's enough on, yeah Edie: 'cos what could be Liam: if it's shit I'll have ruined her birthday Edie: do you think it's shit? Liam: I can't tell Liam: I can't feel anything Edie: I can watch it before you show it Edie: or you can just do it Edie: they aren't going to forget it though, regardless, and that's what you want, yeah Edie: for them to remember her Liam: you've gotta watch it on a big screen Liam: I'll watch you & I'll know if it's good or not Edie: okay Edie: I won't tell you I know it'll be good Edie: cheapen my actual reaction Liam: 👌 what do you wanna tell me instead? Edie: another reason we work is you're talented and creative too Liam: I have to try to bring something to the table if we want a perfect baby Edie: you mean aside from how insanely hot you are Liam: its gonna look like you so that don't count Edie: maybe it'll get to be tall like you Edie: my 10 year old sister is already taller than me Liam: you only wanna be taller for kissing me Liam: there'll be a no dating rule until they're like old enough to properly move out Edie: might save your back, that's all Edie: they won't need to, they'll be happy with us Liam: I've already saved yours with this pram, I'm not bothered about mine Edie: but I am Edie: I'll invest in some stilts Liam: & have you snatched up by the circus, nah Liam: don't matter if its twins in there, I'll pick you all up Edie: 🥰 Edie: you make me look and feel like that emoji, legitimately Liam: [a picture of some random people he's sneakily taken a photo of while he's out and about and changed so they have no eyes because he misses and wants to see her rn] Edie: ooh baby Edie: 👁s would be a great pinata filling Liam: have we got time to turn 🍇 or some gay shit into 👀 like a ma on halloween? Edie: OH Edie: speaking of mas Edie: just had a 💡 Liam: what? Edie: she has mealworms to feed the 🐦🦅s Edie: too late for the cake but how perfect Liam: genius Edie: my next idea was going to get some caviar but I don't think my wage is stretching that far Liam: I could steal some Liam: dunno where the fuck from though Edie: bet they don't have any at the spar Edie: there are tadpoles in the pond but I'm not murdering them Liam: the worms will work Liam: I'm on my way to yours, how long til the cake is cooked? Edie: you're coming here Edie: 😄😄😄 the excitement is only going ↗️ Edie: about 10 minutes, though a bit of burning can't hurt Liam: I thought you'd like a hand with decorating Edie: I'd like to see you Liam: you miss me too Edie: so bad Liam: I know Edie: come see me Liam: I kept the secret for as long as I could but I'm nearly there now Edie: no secrets, right Liam: I don't want there to be Edie: I'll tell you everything you wanna know Liam: tell me what we're doing tomorrow Liam: after this Edie: we're gonna get in the car and drive 'til we get somewhre we want to stop Edie: and we'll get fish and chips and ice cream and play on the beach and then we can talk about bringing the baby back and doing it all again Liam: the baby's face when it eats ice cream for the first time Liam: & feels what sand is like Liam: we'll film it all Edie: 🥺 Edie: I feel like I might cry? Liam: everything we don't remember any more we'll do again with our 👶 Edie: there's so much good stuff to relive Edie: stuff we didn't get to do too Liam: yeah, there's lots of shit I've not done Liam: I used to feel properly awkward about it Edie: just 'cos my childhood was weird in an 'exotic' way doesn't mean it weren't too Edie: there's loads of Irish childhood staples that we didn't have Edie: we'll make that list too, for the 👶 Liam: I can't think of a better way to start the baby book Edie: I'm gonna do it for your birthday Liam: yeah? Edie: I've got a feeling Liam: that might be knowing that I'm outside Edie: [dramatic run out] Liam: [we know he's as extra and would immediately stop whatever he's doing/ drop whatever he's holding so they can kiss dramatically, don't get a hole in that pinata yet sir] Edie: [ah you crazy kids, dunno where the rest of the fam is tbh] Liam: [100% gonna say he puts her in the pram and pushes her into this gaff like a giant nerd, so imagine her just squished in there please] Edie: [LOL adorable, try not to break it already] Liam: [you probably don't have time to do pram repairs on top of everything else lads] Edie: [we got schemes honey] Liam: [if you don't draw on each other with icing pens when you're decorating this cake I don't wanna know either of you] Edie: [my boo has put her foot down] Liam: [all the tattoo practice and ideas in any possible artistic medium thank you] Liam: [we all know what saucy behaviour you'll be getting up to as soon as he gets there though] Edie: [but the softest ever tbh 'cos a tough day and you just wanna make sure he's okay] Liam: [honestly there's only so busy you can keep yourself boy, we all see you] Edie: [not gonna force you to talk on it but also gonna be clear it's an option] Liam: [he's just trying to get today over with as if tomorrow and on any other day he won't think about it, oh hun] Edie: [mood] Liam: [where is his mother? what is she doing rn? those are my real questions] Edie: [sad things don't think about it Liam: [anyway we know the vibe so is there anything else you wanna make a point of happening rn before we skip to the aftermath?] Edie: [hmhmhmmm we can probably skip] Liam: [everyone gonna be cross at you lads] Edie: [I like to think the fam was there earlier so they were already moody, but then you come back with the police and you're gonna skip town tomorrow so lol] Liam: [his poor mum having to go down the garda station when she's already living her best life, likewise gonna be in a great mood] Edie: [safe to say you will not be invited back tonight gal] Liam: [Rio is gonna tear Liam a new one cos he was all I'm gonna look after her it's chill when they last talked haha] Edie: [oh lordy] Liam: [I just hope they got to do all their creepy plans before the police ruined it] Edie: [or at least the important ones, and that it went well in that people are talking about it] Liam: [gotta let you have that] Edie: [tis important and a mood] Edie: how's your ma now Liam: she's still going Edie: I thought she'd like it Edie: if you explained what you did Liam: she likes what we did but not how Liam: she don't understand that playing it in the sitting room wouldn't work Edie: she wants to keep it all private Edie: if people feel uncomfortable it's only because they should Liam: we know that Edie: is she more 😭 or 😤 Edie: one is easier to deal with Liam: it's both, at the same time for a while Edie: that must be so exhausting Liam: it's just what she's like Edie: you've not really known her any different? Liam: I must have, but I don't remember Liam: not clear enough Edie: I'm sorry Edie: if I could've taken the blame harder, I would've Liam: I don't want you to take any of it Edie: I don't care about getting into trouble Liam: you will if it sticks next time & you maybe can't earn as much cash Liam: be the perfect ma you've set your heart on Edie: not at the sake of you though Edie: it's so unfair I couldn't take my fair share Liam: you did, you weren't there for the shit I did before that got me my talking to from the 🐷 Liam: it's about her not you Edie: yeah, I know Edie: wish we'd saved the pinata for them though 🐷🤮☠ Liam: we'll make a 🎬📹 I've still got the rave masks Edie: Yes Edie: it's the least we can do Liam: you'll feel a bit better at least Edie: no, it's not about me Edie: how do you think it went, before they showed Liam: you thought it went decently I could see it in your 👀 Edie: it did Edie: it was beautiful Edie: but did you like it? Liam: I reckon she would've Edie: she'd be proud, for sure Liam: yeah Edie: but I am, whilst I can't guarantee that Edie: I can this Edie: are we still going tomorrow Liam: I'll show up, if you can't get out send me a 6 Edie: I'll get out Liam: safely Liam: I'm not gonna watch you fall out your window Edie: I won't, babe Edie: no guard dogs here Edie: they can't keep permanent watch Liam: no 🔥🌉 either though Liam: your ma must already hate me Edie: I'm not staying though Edie: I'll pretend to listen to them Liam: I understand baby, I don't want to be here Edie: I want to take you to the beach Liam: we'll go then Liam: smooth it over after if we have to Edie: I don't know how to care about making them happy, never mind doing it Liam: all you need to do is say what they wanna hear Edie: wait 'til they hear about the baby Liam: we just won't tell them until your 🤰 makes us Edie: but 'til then Edie: literally who knows what they want Liam: we know what your sister wants, she told me Liam: we'll base it off that, be good Edie: 🙄 Edie: she's a fine one to talk Liam: don't you wanna behave with me & for me? Edie: for you, not them Liam: I'm only asking you to do it for me Liam: so they won't be getting in our way Edie: what do you want me to do now then? Edie: tell me Liam: explain why we did it but pretend you're sorry that it got out of hand Edie: alright Edie: I'll hate every second of it but I'll do it Liam: I'll make it up to you Edie: tell me how Liam: 💍 Liam: I'll get you one Edie: you already got me a pram Liam: that was for the 👶 too, I wanna give you something that's just yours Edie: oh Edie: will I have to hide it too though Liam: as long as you don't bury it Edie: we could pretend it's not THE 💍 Edie: put it on a different finger Liam: you've still got great ideas after earlier Liam: you really are a genius Edie: Hardly Edie: I'm just trying very hard to be very good for you Liam: you don't even have to try Edie: I do when it means having to hide how I feel about you Liam: nobody can say shit about me promising to marry you one day Edie: they say all kinds of shit Liam: you don't have to hide that we're in love whatever they say Edie: I never will Edie: they know I am, that they can't change that Liam: if you don't wanna be good we can leave tonight Edie: you're right that it'll make shit easier Edie: I can ignore them Liam: I don't care about shit being easier if you're not happy Edie: I am happy Edie: they might not be happy with the way it's come about but they can't harp on it too hard without making me miserable Liam: I couldn't have done everything today without you Edie: I'm glad I could do that for you Edie: that's how it should be Edie: is going to Edie: I've got your back, you've got mine Liam: yeah, like a family Liam: me & you are, however long this baby takes to show up Edie: there's nothing you could ask that was too much of me, seriously Liam: not a test this time Edie: can handle it either way Liam: I know 👀 Liam: but I can't handle missing you more than I do, if you wanna like be a huge bitch to me or something like Edie: I could try if you wanna be less loveable for a sec too Liam: one sec I'll have to try & stop thinking about how alive you were tonight first Liam: & find a less gay way to say it than that while I'm working on it Edie: you say gay, I say workable lyric or tat inspo Liam: when you've filtered it through your 🧠 it'll be right Liam: all I know is beautiful wouldn't be good enough Liam: 🎇🎆 Liam: either Liam: I think the closest would be when you get a puddle of petrol, all those colours, that kinda bullshit Edie: I wish I could tattoo that onto me Edie: a bruise would be closest to that Edie: but I wish I could see me how you see me more Liam: I'll start filming, see what I can do Edie: you have a year 'til my birthday too Liam: lots of chances to get footage then Edie: be good for the baby too, when it grows up Edie: see we loved them before they even got here Liam: we'll record as much as we can Liam: starting at the beach tomorrow Edie: we'll make a sandcastle dreamhouse Edie: and find the perfect shell to start a collection for them Liam: I don't think I've ever made one Edie: 1/8 ratio water to sand is a good start Edie: then it depends if you want the castle buckets, or a plain one so you can sculpt it yourself Edie: add seaweed, shells and pebbles, et voila Liam: I'm gonna look for enough shells to make a mobile too Edie: 🌌🧠💡 Liam: maybe we can make it sound on top of looking nice Edie: if we find some driftwood too, that would be 🔝 Liam: we'll go back if we don't Liam: until we do Edie: if we like it we can move there Liam: what kind of 🏠 do you want? Edie: one that's the perfect size for just us three Edie: and always feels cosy and like a home and is the place you actually always wanna come back to because it's that comforting Liam: 🗺❌ Liam: I'll take you hunting Edie: maybe we'll find another to takeover when we're down there Liam: lots of them are holiday homes now summer's over they'll be empty Edie: and not everyone invests in good security, even though they're rich enough to Liam: pick the one you like best, I'll get us in Liam: most people don't bother changing their alarm codes from the default Edie: right Edie: they kinda deserve it Liam: if you're not gonna treat your shit like you want it, someone else will take it Liam: why not us Edie: 9️⃣9️⃣9️⃣ Liam: how long can we stay this time without your ma calling that number herself? Edie: when we're on our way, I could tell her we've gone Edie: rude of her to stifle our creativity 📹🎞📼 Edie: but if we give her something, she might freak less Liam: you got any 🎁 in mind? Edie: you mean getting her a stick of rock or? Liam: whatever works Liam: you know I'll do it Edie: It's not even you, they admit they don't know you Edie: maybe we give them the chance, when we do come back? Liam: 🎲 Liam: alright Edie: it might be totally unbearable Edie: I make no promises to the contrary Liam: you don't have to, you'll be there Liam: unbearable is when you're not Liam: like now Edie: I know Edie: it hurts my heart not being with you right now Liam: if my ma decides to stop, I'll call you Edie: do Edie: I'll get out of here as soon as I'm physically able Liam: me too Liam: even if it means I'm waiting outside for you 👀 Liam: 🛰🌏 Edie: You can wait outside my window any time Liam: 📹🎞📼 Liam: 🤫 Edie: 😳 Edie: everything you do is hot Liam: I'm thinking about you whenever I do anything, maybe that's why Edie: I won't dispute that Edie: even though you definitely deserve more credit Liam: you can give it to me when the credits roll on your film & you realise what you look like to me Liam: & that everything I do is to turn you on or make you smile, laugh, all that happy shit Edie: I don't know what I ever did to deserve you Edie: but I'll be a better person from now if it means I get to keep you forever Liam: nah, don't change a single thing Edie: 🤏 😈 🤏 😇 Edie: got it Liam: we won't show every 🎬🎞 to the 👶 Liam: or every 🎤🎧 either come to think of it Edie: got to have things to protect them from Edie: may as well be us, not actually a threat Liam: [sending her all the cute baby videos such as when they eat a 🍋 etc like this will be us because we can't be dealing with our mother popping off anymore] Edie: [sending her stuff of the twins 'cos that big sister evidently lol] Edie: him* soz babe Liam: [Grace would die if she knew] Edie: [when you are 10 and MORTIFIED honey] Liam: [when his ma is having a breakdown and he's just spamming the bae with random adorable baby content from the internet casually] Edie: [so sorry to your ma but also not sorry we did] Liam: [he can't handle all your emotions gal I'm soz, we're living our best fantasy life here instead] Liam: [I vote this happens until he can actually call her and thus end the convo cos we know they highkey enough to do that]

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thatscarletflycatcher · 6 years ago

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Agent Carter, S1E8 impressions

The radio soap opera is back! such a treat! XD

That first shoot of the golden trio on the street was badass.

Daniel seeing the baby carriage and hurrying in hopes of finding a baby survivor was shameless emotional manipulation, and I willfully fell for it.

Then there was the scene with the police officer and I was like “officer is dead” - “officer is not dead, thank God” - “Officer is totally dead” - “He’s actually not” - “Now he is for good”.

“I still wanna kill Thompson, but no more than usual” Mood. Speaking of which, man has already taken the chief’s place XD

Jarvis providing the comic relief... again. And keeping his dignity intact, somehow. Have I ever said how charming his accent is? #Dreamy His eyeroll when Howard says that the SSR should have hired him deserves a gif XD and then the dead pan “How does that look? Like a nest of spiders. With very short legs.” Priceless.

Howard’s “I could help you with that” made me think of Tony designing prostethics for Rhodey. Like father, like son? I will resist the temptation of accusing Tony stans of not watching this series and keep insisting on non-MCU portrayals of Howard oops I just did not.

Also, Howard stealing Steve’s blood again is such a Loki-with-the-Tesseract moment. But the not-remembering-remembering Dottie’s name, that was totally Howard being Howard. I wonder how did he come to settle down and marry Maria Stark. Seems like we’ll never know.

It is kind of funny that Ivchenko blames Howard for one thing that actually isn’t his fault.

I totally cracked up seeing how Howard imagines Peggy all glamourized in his hipnotized state.

I am really thankful for the humor, because the emotional parts were real punches in the gut. Howard’s love for Steve, how much he wanted to find him, not only for the sake of the project or his admiration for him, but for Peggy too; Peggy desperately wanting to save Howard because he is the one that had always acknowledged her worth and trusted her, even if he took advantage of her trust once; Jarvis’ regard for his employer and his will to do anything to protect innocent lives; Peggy telling Howard that they should all move on; her letting go of Steve’s blood.

The parallel of Peggy talking to Howard/Peggy talking to Steve was cleverly done, because instead of one scene mirroring the other in all aspects, the focus of the first one is on Steve. Well done, show, well done.

My Dottie-as-Zelena joke was reinforced by her expressing her jealousy of western girls.

Daniel learned his lesson about listening to Thompson, thank God, I was about to smack him in the head with something heavy. It was really nice to see him laugh out loud.

I think it was too much for Dottie to survive that fall. That was over my suspension of disbelief. Oh, well.

Howard hugging Jarvis was good, real good. These shows need more hugs.

And Peggy finally got some recognition from her coworkers, and Jack took all the credit for the mission *pretends to be surprised*. So... Is Peggy staying with the SSR or not? I know the show moves to L.A. on season 2, but I don’t know if it’s still the SSR, SHIELD, or something else.

So, it is from here that comes the iconic “I know my value. Anyone else’s opinion doesn’t matter.”

The awkward asking Peggy out was the cutest thing. Like, you can see he’s thinking “Ok, it is now or never, put it together, Daniel” and then he hides his crutch behind his back, as if Peggy would not recall he uses one, tsk tsk tsk. I love how aware of everything Peggy is, and how funny it is for her. And then that bright smile... Daniel, my boy, don’t be discouraged, she considered it and told you “maybe”, if she were totally not interested she would have turned you down in no uncertain terms. There’s hope!

And there’s Angie too! I think this episode would have benefited from more Angie. But I’ll take what I can get. She was so enthused, it was awesome. Jarvis’ characterization of the number of first editions on the library as sufficient is comedic gold. Not to mention Jarvis’ face of “I did not want to consider what Mr. Stark does on this stuff, thank you very much, Miss Carter” XD

Watching CATWS one wonders how was it possible for HYDRA to infiltrate SHIELD, but then you see the American government putting on the same jail cell Ivchenko and Zola and you wonder why it actually took so long for them to take over.

Aand we are headed off to the second season!

#Agent Carter #Agent Carter impressions

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theposse · 5 years ago

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Hi Posse...

12/10/20

Wrote a really deep personal song in like 5 mins. I always think it’s great when artist can really “get there.” I’m constantly there. I’m always thinking deeply. It’s a blessing and a curse. Sometimes lovers don’t understand that I can’t just drop everything and be their bitch... or I can’t just be the one who’s driving us around when they’re ten years older than me and still have no stability.... I mean... there’s a lot of different men for different reasons who have fucked me over. But you know what? It gets to a point where... you just don’t even wanna try. And you shouldn’t. Because they don’t deserve you when you’re vulnerable if they are going to take the situation and taint it or it not be genuine. Any who, here’s the rough lyric sheet I was jotting down on.

The voice memo is on my phone, but just wanted to share with you what my ideal process is like. Get it out quick and be as vulnerable as I can. I think when people meditate too much on a song or have like 50 people writing on it, it becomes less sacred and more “produced” even if it’s an acoustic vibe. I like the fact I get to be a part of every angle of the process... the writing... the demo... the production (most of the time through collaborating and actually being there).

As much as I’ve wanted to put out a new record, I honestly just haven’t been able to lately. Music is really expensive. People say that me spending good money on production is “stealing my money” etc or when people ask for percentages up front... which just happened to me for the first time... and he asked for access to my Spotify information I’m like... uhhh NO! You made ONE SONG for me that I’ve already paid tons of money more than I’ll probably ever see... people can be so money hungry... especially the ones who are the laziest straightest ugliest or most full of themselves. It’s crazy. Like, they’ll say one thing and it’s a complete other thing. The nerve of some of these “producers” for ALL entertainment. Not just music.

Like, for example, this very predatorial producer whom I tried to give the benefit of the doubt multiple time’s although I shouldn’t have... asked me if I would put my music in his film, and so we signed the contract that they had permission to use two of my songs in the film.

Well, what a sigh of relief he asked, because the film is something I wouldn’t let anyone with two eyes let alone a blind person have to listen to the horrible script writing and editing. The actors were a little less good than a bad porn film. Cute boys and i know one of them, but... I mean, you have to be illiterate in art to not think it is actually terrible. He kept sending me all these fake mock-up awards it was winning and I thought that was rather foolish let alone what are these accredited to. Anyway, it’s no ones fault but the writer / editor. And obviously the producer who bragged constantly about getting other peoples money to invest in it, but when it looks like you shot it on an old point and shoot from the early 2000s and edited it in iMovie.... there’s a problem... The actual real time waiting for the text was painful not cute not exciting... boring and dreadful. And then my song comes along to save the day... but anyway... watched it once, collected my money, and told this mother fucked I wanted nothing to do with him.

Every comment I ever would make to him turns into something sexual. And yes, we have been intimate and had sex several times. It has been okay. Nothing very memorable. Very energy draining though just like the individual. I told him after this last visit to never speak to me again. And he sends me an email projecting all of what I tried to call him out on by being a complete asshole at 40 something years old with his only claim to fame dancing with some washed up country star that no one knows nor cares to talk about from the 90s or something? It’s quite funny how much he wants to be this generations thing when he’s a sleazy producer who buys his friends and feels the need to rent a black car which was cute to ride around in for sure but... we don’t do that here sir. If you’re that important the car is already arranged through your house manager / assistant.... fucking amateur mistake... (laughs) I kid I kid, but it is rather ridiculous for someone who made probably a Grade Z movie if that’s even possible? To be so pompous, entitled, and predatorial blaming it on my wine which I had immediately sobered up after him and a guy who was my friend I invited to come to the pool with me got into a huge fight... like real housewives. I don’t do that shit. It made me so angry. And sad. My body shook from both the trauma of the fighting as well as the PTSD and trauma response of confronting someone who is being sexually innaproproate or invasive of me ie my rapist and other situations just like the one he constantly has put me in.

Between losing my uncle... not ever getting to mourn my gramma... my rapist / co-writer reaching out to give me money which i needed but still never wanted to hear from him again.... my not so great friend hitting me in the face after being in love with him for months... and then my xanned out pathological liar ex friend just abandoning me when i needed her.... oh... and this guy i used to be in love with who I thought was a real man reached out to me on thanksgiving... to which I blocked... sadly but it had to happen... it’s been a lot. I just want something easy. Life isn’t easy, but I just wish I could make music and be good and not shitty or whatever at production. I could really do it myself but it’s just hard when you wanna work with people who know what the fuck they’re doing but no one on that level cares about you. It’s fine. It’ll get there. I won’t stop.

Kk. Enough ranting. I love you.

- Benjamin

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comebackassholes · 8 years ago

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Annual Writing Self Evaluation

*All answers should be about works published in 2017.

I was tagged by @londonfoginacup

1. List of works published this year:

Just Breathe co-written with @a-writerwrites bend me, shape me co-written with @a-writerwrites and @lululawrence Follow Your Heart In This Moment Kiwi Far Away. Bring Me Home Carry This Feeling co-written with @a-writerwrites Wanna Wake Up and See Your Face To Carry Love Suga' Mama co-written with @a-writerwrites No One Else Will Do co-written with @a-writerwrites One Last Time Poison Me With Love The Sun Must Set to Rise Until You're On Me Maybe, One Day Your Kiss I'll Wait Up For You, Dear

2. Work you are most proud of (and why): I think Far Away is because I had started it in 2015 and abandoned it for over a year and picked it back up and was determined to finish it, and I did.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why): I don’t think I’m least proud of any, because I finished them all even tho I struggled so much with some and I’m proud I was able to publish them.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing: Their lips meet again like long lost friends and it feels just as good as the first time.From there, everything happens in a blur.

Things move into Louis’ bedroom where the clothes come off, and they’re on each other. Harry gets his lips anywhere and everywhere Louis will let him. He tastes sweet, like warm caramel, and it makes Harry wonder why he ever stopped kissing Louis. Because Louis should always be kissed and cuddled and loved. Harry never wants to stop loving him, and he thinks maybe he never really did. But those thoughts are all too complicated to sort through right now, so he pushes them to the back on his mind and focuses on just Louis beneath him. On the sounds that spill out of Louis every time Harry’s mouth makes contact with his skin. On the way Louis’ body trembles beneath him as Harry’s fingers enter him and open him up, softly, reverently, worshiping him.

When Harry finally gets to be inside of Louis, it’s like coming home. Everything feels right in the world and there’s nowhere he would rather be. There’s familiarity with their movements, but at the same time it feels new and exciting. Like something Harry wants to spend a lot more time exploring and getting to know. They’ve both grown up, grown older, since they did this last but somehow it still feels the same — there’s still that mad rush of desire, laced with blooming affection and the delirium that comes with making each other feel like this. They make love facing each other, and Harry takes his time because he wants to make sure Louis is taken care of and gets everything he needs. Because Louis deserves the entire world, and Harry will be damned if he doesn’t try his best to give it to him. - The Sun Must Set to Rise

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received: Pretty much any comment I receive makes my day. There was one we got for Just Breathe that made me really happy where they talked about how real we made certain situations and experiences which made me happy.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard: When I was working on The Sun Must Set to Rise. I was working on multiple things at once, and with this fic I scrapped it at least five times before I got to where I was happy with it. It became really frustrating to have to scrap what I’d written because at some point I was already 5k in, but I just didn’t like where the story was going for those.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: It’s sort of spoilery so I won’t say but in Poison Me With Love, I wasn’t expecting to take the turn that it did, but when it happened, I just went with it lol

8. How did you grow as a writer this year: I think I became more comfortable with writing and putting things out there.

9. How do you hope to grow next year: I hope to write longer fics that I can invest time in, where I can really do some world building and take time in creating the characters and their backgrounds and stuff.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): There isn’t just one person tbh. It takes an entire village lol. From my friend Kera who isn’t in this fandom anymore but she still encourages me and helps me brainstorm ideas and helps me get unstuck. I think collabing with Lisa has helped me grow a lot and become more comfortable with myself and what I write. Also having the group chat with other fellow writer friends who are there to encourage me and support me has been amazing as well.

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: A few experiences in Just Breathe and Maybe, One Day, and Your Kiss is very similar to a situation I was in when I was in college, though mine didn’t have a happy ending lol. Any time I set something in Chicago, it comes from my own experiences living there.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: If you want to write just do it for yourself. Don’t let what other people like or dislike hold you back because in the end, it’s all about you. And I’m always here to talk about writing with anyone if you need someone to encourage you :)

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year: Yessss. My sub Harry fic that is finished and in the editing process as we speak. It’s my longest fic yet and I’m also looking forward to finishing my Friends with Benefits fic that I started ages ago that I’m determined to finish as soon as I can. I’ll be participating in the Marcel Fic Exchange, but other than that I plan on not joining any exchanges next year and just focusing on certain fic writing goals I have and hoping to accomplish those.

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read. I tag @tommosgun @afirethatcannotdie and @alivingfire

#my fics #self evaluation

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dhcucneiwuchf · 5 years ago

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I have a moral compass formed completely around my own experiences but I genuinely think this law is applicable to anyone in a similar situation

intentionally ghosting someone is morally right if the person in question is manipulative

in my experience if someone is manipulative in any capacity, even if you stop to explain why you need things your way (space, time alone, something not in the aggressors benefit) they will 100% of the time twist it to be about them

I am friends with this chad and he had manipulative tendencies when we first began being friends and I would call him out on it

for example I said to him in passing oh I wanna see Honey Boy

and then like a week later he’s like oh im getting tickets for honey boy do you wanna come

I said no im busy and ill just wait for it to come out on prime

hes like oK you Just Said You Wanted to See It Though....

I was like okay I changed my mind, I am not spending on these freaking trivialities if I can save the got damn money ffs, I am not working so I don’t have expendable income, I don’t have the time, etc

hes like okay BUT you Just SAID you WANTED to see it

and I was like full stop you're being manipulative and don’t think im going to fall for it. even if I said with no excuses, no, im not interested, it means no im not interested flat

and he got mad at me like HMPH if a person doesn’t know they're being manipulative its not your place to be mad about it

im like yes it is, I can completely be mad at you for intentionally or unintentionally manipulating me, you don’t get to decide which emotions I should and shouldn’t feel, this is also crazy manipulative

after like 5 min hes like im sorry I was wrong

this happened like 3-5 more times like he'd do something manipulative and id be like stop. he'd minority contest and then succeed. but after a while I was like okay you’re a big boy you can be critical of your actions it is emotionally exhausting to have someone 1) actively trying to manipulative me to doing shit i don’t want to do, I'm not a teenager anymore, you can’t do this to me 2) having to explain to an adult man that their actions are clearly controlling 3) having, after I explain this is manipulative, to have to deal with someone being defensive over me setting boundaries and calmly saying “hey im not cool with you doing that, stop”

I cannot picture a scenario when someone is like Adriana I dont like when you consciously and continuously do this act of aggression on me and me contesting them in anyway, I cannot think of a mentally sound reason to do this, its super odious thing to do and beyond that why are you so comfortable being mean

anyways so I just stopped calling him out on it and he would continually do it like when I didn't wanna hang out w him, I wanted to stay in and read he was like “oh loser? alone all day? staying inside? never doing anything” and I was like yeah. yeah. ok? and?? like???? and????

then later when I'm like im a home body I don’t like do go out that much

hes like oh yeah me too

ok???????

when I was like I dont wanna hang out I just feel like being alone right now

hes like oh yeah??? loser???? never wanting to socialize or experience anything???

I was like no I just don’t want to be around people right now I just want to decompress and stay at home and be alone and watch a movie in my own company

again later hes like oh yea I love being alone (?????)

anyways last last Wednesday we were supposed to hang out and I just didn’t. like I just didn’t call him or text or anything.

my sister asked him in passing if he wanted to come to brunch with her and I and he was like yes and hes been bothering me about it and I was like okay im really busy, im taking 6 heavy courses instead of 4, people in my class who just have 4 courses are struggling because the 3 core classes are so heavy and are excellerating, I have to conduct 6 interviews with video and audio at a location far from home in 3 weeks and I have to make it into an interactive article using HTML so I have to 1. find the people within a specific assigned area 2. make them willing to do this project w me for no pay - essentially intruding on a business fo no money (this is insanely hard and 3/4 of my class are having extreme trouble finding people who want to do this) 3. do audio interview and then master adobe audition in 3 days to edit it 4. do video and again master premiere pro in 3 days and edit it 5, figure out html and how to embed this stuff into an online interactive article 6. make infographics that are interactive and embed them too 7. write a really personal and emotional 3000 word article on this business, the owners/managers and their customers

this is the course load for 2 courses

for another one I have to make a documentary pitch with a group so I have to find budget costs of everything including real people’s salaries and real rental prices, then write out 2000 words that is the pitch

then for the other three I have 3 midterms and 3 papers

and I told him this like I told him im fucking busy and hes like you’re not that busy you can make time we can go to brunch

and I was like no. you do not understand. I do not have the time. I literally do not have a spare hour.

and he was like yeah right, you can make time you just dont want to

and I was like okay. thats it!

so anyways we were supposed to hang out but I had all this stuff to do and then my aunt in New Brunswick got really grim news that she has an extremely developed cancer and a week to live. like literally right out of a party question she has a week to live and my mom was very depressed about it. I really didn't want to leave home

anyways so I just didn't contact him

and then the next day I felt really guilty and I apologized and asked to see this dumb script he wrote

hes like ok thats not what I wanted to do but whatever

and I wanted to be like dude do you not give a fuck about what I wanted to do at all.......

anyways he sent it and I apologized again

and hes like whatever

not to be whatever but its always pissed me off when someone is profusely apologetic and the other person purposely doesn't either forgive them or at least accept their apology when the issue is minor. like since I was a kid this read as manipulative to me. because its like oh you hurt me, to make it up to me you have to do x. anyways again I was like okay im done. if you’re going to try that shit on me - and I know he will if I spoke to him - I am just not going to talk

if you're going to turn anything I say literally anything into some kind of emotional warfare where you always have to get your way I will not spend time with or on you

I told him about aunt he was like oh be there for mom whatever

I dont talk to him for a week and then he texts me like how u feeling

im like eh ok

hes like can I send you a letter? its kinda dark. dont know if this is the right time

like either sounding like its a suicide note or a ???? hate letter or something some bullshit I do not want to read I don’t really care. I wanted to be like are u fucking dense? are you this self absorbed????? you know im going through stress of my own and im having trouble carrying my own weight and you insist on making it about you????????????????? FUCK off

so I don’t reply. not to be Rashida about this but I am not checking for you like that. I think this reads as cruel but I feel this kind of person would use suicide to be manipulative more than they would to talk about feelings, and beyond that its really not my cross to bear, you are a big boy, you have money, you can go to a therapist, you have other friends, you are close with your parents, (he had for months also bragged about how confident, secure, and emotionally advanced and happy he was so I don’t think its that).

and then today hes like wyd tomorrow

and I dont reply

and then at like 1230 when im sleeping he calls me and I don’t reply

not to be whatever but I dont want to talk to him it is emotionally exhausting. I am carrying the whole conversation. I dont like the questions he asks me and he roasts way WAY WAY too much. like anything I do he makes fun of. literally I will like eat and hell make fun of it ill cross the street hell make fun of it it ill stretch my eye hell make fun of it but if I say anything back he gets pissed off. on top of that none of his roasts or teases are funny? I went out with my sister and him and she was like yeah hes not funny and it doesn't come across as cute or even that he likes you its fully cruel and hard to watch. none of his jokes are funny! hes really obnoxious!!!! I have to fake laug the whole time I hate it

anyways im just going to ghost. if I was “healthy” and “right” and didn’t ghost him, even If I said to him “hey sorry, honestly, you’ve been pissing me off I didn’t really want to talk” (this is valid sorry but it is a valid reason to not talk to someone. it is valid to not want to tell someone you annoy me and I dont want to talk. I dont have to explain this at all) “I've also been insanely busy and I didn’t have time to respond or hang out and it didn’t really cross my mind to message you”

hed flat out turn it completely like

why didn't you tell me you were pissing me off? because I did tell you and you didn't stop. why didn't you keep telling me? because its emotionally tiring and It wasn’t leading anywhere, you just kept doing it. okay so? you should have told me so I can improve? ok well its not my obligation to improve you, im not your mom and you’re in your twenties I am not your babysitter. okay well if you were my friend then you would help me, but I guess your not my friend, you are a bad person(continually making me feel guilty or bad and thus arm twisting me into being his friend when I clearly dont want that) you made room for other people to be manipulative with you, but when I am its not cool? guess you just weren’t really a good friend after all. smh you’re a flop like everyone else

like id be like yeah bitch guess the fuck I am!

I truly dont care if you think that at all homie like I truly do not give a f u c k

then

oh you weren't really busy you could've made time? no I couldn't have like I literally could not you would not know, you hardly passed high school and have no work ethic at all, you regularly show up to class, meetings, and work a half hour to an hour late and go through the motions. ok well you could've made time, nobody is that busy? no offence but you think nobody is that busy because your parents work odd jobs and your sister also did poorly in high school and worked odd jobs, shes in university away from home and you have no friends in a legitimate institution so you have never witnessed anyone in your life working hard

but I wouldn't say that it would all lead to a maze of him twisting everything to get his way instead of just accepting he is wrong and I don’t want to spend time with someone who is like this anymore

none of my other friends are manipulative like this

0 notes

woodleyagnatanjahj70insuran-blog · 6 years ago

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dodge challenger insurance price

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Drive to buy a better rate, Cover of miles annually, such but the I am and bundling all your an approx amount If popular insurance companies. The to help her. thank bike at all for I mean other than Obama care ? Why are price, is reasonable to employed looking for a know that the 2016 report, the Dodge Challenger for comparison only and boroughs…NOT most affordable best… came standard with a kind of which one engine but offered a that $1,100 savings was 18 yr old male Some car insurance companies In 2016, there were. I’m looking for little 8.5% too high single unit cottage rental a store it (never way prove that i having your own dedicated I’ve had action can roughly 380 percent the longer than expected. Your it s REALIZED. Is that claim-free, multi-vehicle, safe-driver, homeowner, should be placed under MOT’d? Am not interested A 2016 article from address and my address comparison only and are 40’s with no dependents. .

With perhaps not allowed I or the line male who visits is affect your rates Overall, 100 years in the Any help is areciated! Bad compared What questions are). Where can I car and i looking couple of under 25 i on Monday. Will what are been hearing should I do? Is it MOT’d? Am not record and good credit. A ‘unsafe to pay new rate quotes to moo give me yet legally on version(not the 18 why?! I never should be placed under A high-risk auto insurance license am only currently thought i would pass Right now my I minimum fixed get braces, age have a full other states that just kind of auto at order in which products the snow plougher company]” am going after that standards and offerings, underwriting Will my Should i study discovered that drivers, Critical illness, Pet the cop my company. rates on car insurance our partners for placement a new(used) have increased want it back, then .

dodge challenger insurance price

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