#gotta think of a good name :thonk:

[princepsumbra]

"SHHHH! 'lo, milord! as much as your presence charges the very essence of my undying soul, i must ask for immediate silence!" hushed whispers (yes, whispers) float across the room to greet him, and with a proud flick of the wrist, odin points out his latest project — one that appears to be an unassuming wooden chest at first glance. "you see, lord leo, this new spell i've crafted demands it. so, please. i must ask you to keep your voice down. you make take a seat over there."

he waits for the prince to settle in. then, with a wide grin, odin struts toward the chest. he places one foot atop it in a dramatic display of theatrics, and announces:

"on this fated day, we celebrate the hallowed hour of thy momentous birth, o'bearer of greatness! you, whose valor and wisdom carves the very fabric of our world! it is only right, then, that you are bestowed with a legendary gift, worthy of your most illustrious pursuits-!"

the chest's lid swings open with a loud bang! (oops). within, a monstrous plant unfurls, its verdant tendrils writhing and snapping like serpents disturbed from slumber. one tendril nearly smacks odin across the chest, eliciting a mumbled curse as he dodges the strike. "not to worry, milord! it's friendly," the mage reassures, approaching cautiously. he extends a hand in demonstration, gently stroking one of the plant's giant petals. gradually, its growls subside into gentle purrs, seeming to relax under his touch akin to a tamed beast.

the plant, now calm, sways gently, its colorful foliage shimmering under the faint light filtering through room. "it only hates loud noises. i learned the hard way."

...he shall not elaborate.

When it comes to Odin, Leo takes nothing at face value. It may sound cruel, but it's a hard-learned truth, one Leo will not easily forget. There's a motive behind every flashy move and dramatic turn of phrase.

So when both trunk and retainer appear, Leo nods his acquiescence for total silence. (The whispers are a nice touch, admittedly.) "That's the second time today I've been ordered to sit somewhere," he murmurs, claiming the aforementioned chair.

Prince folds his hands neatly in his lap. Ah, there are the theatrics. It's truly a nice speech; he doesn't expect anything less than the heartfelt exaggerations. 'O'bearer of greatness' could work as an alternate epithet should he ever desire a change.

Leo's out of his chair before the first tendril finishes unfurling. Immediately, he raises a hand, incantation on his lips in preparation to defend his retainer. Disaster does not yet befall them. Odin's reflexes are as quick as his wit; Leo nonetheless keeps his hand up. One blond eyebrow raises in dubious agreement. "I'll take your word for it."

Low vibrations soon replace deep growls. Slowly, Leo lets his hand fall. Now that the danger has (mostly) passed, he can truly assess this legendary gift.

"Did you create this on your own?" Measured steps carry him forward, until he's peering over Odin's bent shoulder. "What an incredible feat of skill and magic. Is there a meaning to the different colors, or was that purely for aesthetic? Either way, you should be proud of yourself, Odin."

Leo risks crouching beside his friend, also extending his fingers in greeting towards the waxy leaves. "I can honestly say I've never received a birthday gift like this. Thank you, my friend."

[emotionally-creative-rogue]

DOMINATION LINES!!

THANK YOU @caramelcheesegay FOR COMING UP WITH 90% OF THESE, ILY<333

DOMINATED:

Scout:

-“Can’t stun me if you can’t hit me! I’m a freakin’ blur, dipshit!”

-“I am ALWAYS gonna dodge that. When will you LEARN, man?”

-“Oh, oh, oh! I’m STUNNED at how bad you’re doin’!”

Soldier:

-“Don’t swing your puny stick at me, maggot! You come from fake America!!!”

-“I AM IMPERVIOUS TO ALL OF YOUR ATTACKS, SYRUP-SLURPER!”

-“Get off the battlefield and go play some hockey, weakling!”

Demo:

-“Aye, I bet you thought it’d be easy ta kill me, didn’t’che? Well, iaarrghhnnn *snore*.”

-“You call tha’ a grenade?? Me blind Mum farts worse than that wee thing!” 

-“Don’ come a’ me in those ghoulish boots lad, I’ll blast ‘em right offa yer feet!” 

Engie:

-“You’re just a little piece a’ sentry fodder now, aren’t’cha?”

-“You make for some real shitty target practice, son.”

-“Tell me ‘bout those stun grenades sometime, yeah?”

Heavy:

-“Ha! Leetle bug man is crushed. Like bug. Leetle bug. Feed you to Archimedes, Buggy.”

-“Small jumpy man- not Scout? There are two small jumpy men???”

-“You think loud noise and bright light are enough to take down Heavy??? I am killing you now!!”

Medic:

-“Oohoo! Free organs! Young, too!”

-“Ach, that reminds me- I need to feed my birds.”

-“Ohhh, sorry little boy! Go play with your crayons, ja?”

Sniper:

-“Piss off, y’ jumpy git. Bloody grasshopper…”

-“Awh, get quicker next time, won’tcha?” 

-“Dead like a ‘roo on the side o’ the road!”

Spy:

-“For someone named ‘The Rogue’, you are certainly a pack thinker.”

-“Oho! I am *stunned* by your lack of skill!”

-“Not so *Dexx*trous now, hm?”

DOMINATING:

Scout: 

-“No runnin’ in the halls, freshman!”

-“Bonk? More like thonk, eh? ‘Cause that’s the sound your hollow head makes when I hit ya!” 

-“Hah! Too slow!” 

Soldier: 

-“Y'know, a 3" piece of rubber can do a lotta damage, Trench Monkey!”

-“Hah! Oh, I mean- I'm sooo soooorey aboot tha', Bud! (snicker)”

-“A cat on a sloped roof is braver than the entire U.S. Military, Booklicker!” 

Pyro: 

-“Ack! Sorry, Firecracker!” 

-“Oh shit, I think I’m still on fire. Damn it, these were my favorite pants!” 

-“Hey we're, uh, still on for s'mores later... right?”

Demo:

-“Pen's mightier than the sword, cyclops! Get it? 'Cause I'm an artist and you- yeah, nevermind”

-“Someone must have put a little sleepy sauce in your mickeys, bud, ‘cause you are NOT on top of it today!” 

-“Smile and wait for the flash!” 

Heavy:

-“Somebody order ten thousand pounds a’ dead weight? (Snort)” 

-“It’s really hard to miss your pressure points, y’know.” 

-“Move it, ya big lug! You’re in the way!” 

Engineer: 

-“GRENAAAAAADE! I WIN! Ya proud of me, da-uhhh.. dude?” 

-“See ya round, Daaaeengie! I said Engie. Short for Engineer. That is you. You are- I’ll go.” 

-“Bam! And another one down, and another one down! ANOTHER ONE BITES THE BO STAFF!!” 

Medic: 

-“oohohoh, Maybe I can try some experiments on you this time!- Y'know, put your lessons to good use!”

-“Doc, you seriously gotta take care of your health. Damn hypocrite... (Mocking voice) 'Do az I say, not az I do!' my ass!”

-“Guess that's what happens when you don't follow your own advice, thanks for the hands-on lesson!”

Sniper:

-“There, away from the noise now! Just how you like it, Dee!”

-“You may wink at your opponents, but ya gotta take the shot as well, y'know! Can't charm 'em to death!”

-“I just... un-cozied your... camper. I'm having a bad day please be nice.”

Spy:

-“Crisse de connard! -Aheh, not used to gettin' berated in your own language, eh?”

-“Va te faire foutre, merde de con!”

-“Bein Tabarnak, it feels good to turn the tables! Hah, deserved!”

Taunt ideas:

-Using the Bo-Staff as a microphone

-Using the bo-staff as a rifle(making fun of sniper)

-Juggling the stun grenades, almost dropping one and catching it in time before glancing around to see if anyone saw him and putting them away again

OCS:

DOMINATED:

Strat (@emotionally-stressed-strategist):

-“How are you this bad? I’m dominating you with a PEN, Rogue, A PEN.” 

-“Rock, skull. Man down.” 

-“One less dot on the map- don’t come back, yeah?”

Arrow (@emotionally-dead-archer):

-"Hah! Gotcha! Oh, gotta love a little sibling rivalry, am I right?"

-“Bigger sibling? Not really.”

-“Hey! My aim is getting better! Thanks for the target practice!”

DOMINATING:

Strat:

-“I’m done bein’ your wingman if you keep this up.”

-“That’s what happens when you steal my art supplies!”

-“How do you still not have ink poisoning? Dude, seriously.”

Arrow:

-“There! I make for a pretty good role model! You get to see my stuff first-hand!”

-“You're adopted. Sorry.”

-“I think it's almost bedtime, kiddo.”

Jet (@emotionally-broken-robot):

-"Hey, uh, does this count as Softwaregore?"

[starlightshadowsworld]

Danganronpa 3: Despair episode 3

Thonks.

It hurts seeing Hajime so low.

You get so used to Hajime in the game who was definitely more upbeat.

Seeing him look down on himself is hard to watch.

Especially because we know where it goes.

Makes you wonder how many people with his mindset exist.

We saw a bit of that from Makoto but he always puts a positive spin on it.

Like my optimism is only thing I'm good at.

But Hajime was full of despair long before Hope's Peak found him.

And they zoomed to him like he were blood in the water.

God and the shot of him walking part the 77th class, the elites themselves as a nobody.

It's good, it hurts.

Well this girls blunt and rude.

Natsumi Kuzuryu.

Wait.

Waaait.

That's Fuyuhiko's little sister?!

... Oh no...

Well she definitely has his personality.

Maybe it's a family thing?

So she has the whole thing of because my family, namely Fuyuhiko is talented she must be by association.

Gonna get a rude awakening.

Wonder who freckle faced bitch is?

And now this girl, Sato has beef with Natsumi. I feel so bad for Hajime he's just sitting there while they insult each other.

Hurt her?

Ohhh Mahiru.

No yeah Chisa did say she had a friend in the Reserve Course that she went to middle school with.

That must be Sato.

And Sato was in the photography club in her last school, which is Mahiru's talent.

Makes sense.

Man Natsumi is bad, but man she's good at causing chaos.

Junko should've recruited her, but given her arcade game... Guessing something happened.

I'm suprised Mahiru is scared of Natsumi, they must have had quite the history.

Again, poor Hajime just sat here as they argue at his desk.

Definitely been in that situation.

"My sisters been crazy since the day they bought her home."

Damn Fuyuhiko.

I mean, he's not wrong. She makes old Fuyuhiko look calm and civilised.

Annd Peko and Fuyuhiko are doing the pretend they don't know each other thing.

And him warning her not to do anything.

.... That warning unfortunately didn't translate into the game.

Gotta wonder how much was based on reality.

Annnd ibuki found them.

Hajime and Chiaki gaming together. I like their friendship, Hajime desperately needs a friend.

Him asking if she'd still like games if she sucked at them.

Her saying yes because she truly loves the games she plays.

Man... Talent really us everything to those that don't have it.

And it makes sense why, especially being cut off from the main school.

Her using Chisa's words, she really is the best teacher. And for a while that gets through to Hajime.

It won't last.

But it's nice to see him smile and game without a care in the world.

And than stopping Sato from slapping Natsumi.

Unfortunately as nice of a sentiment as the people you know doesn't make you special.

It might not make you talented, but it sure can open doors.

Especially if your the daughter of the head of the Yakuza.

Also... Sato you erm... Need to chill a little.

A lot.

You need to chill a lot.

The thing is, Hajime and Natsumi are the same.

They're both stuck in the Reserve Course and want nothing more that to join the main school.

They want a talent so bad they would do anything for it.

Natsumi tries to use the rays of her brothers talent to make herself shine.

Hajime agrees to something that will ultimately destroy him, just for a talent.

If anyone knows how Natsumi feels is Hajime.

And even than he's trying to use what Chiaki told him.

It's so sad how much not having a talent grips people, tears them apart.

Because she doesn't have one, she's afraid Fuyuhiko will leave in her the dust.

I doubt he would.

But if you're not useful, if you're not the best than do you even deserve to be in his life?

It's cut throat, it hurts.

And feeds into why someone would agree to participate in the Kamakura project at all.

Police?

And there's tape corning off the entrance.

"Some kid got murdered I think."

"Yeah a straight up homicide."

Thank you NPC's.

... And that's how Natsumi dies.

Fuyuhiko having to identify his sisters body... Peko being pissed feeling like she failed.

Sato... If it was truly you, you're fucked man.

And Hajime loses someone he was just starting to get to know.

... Okay Natsumi wasn't the nicest person but fucking hell she just died... Don't say that shit.

... Sato.. Has issues.

Idk if it was Sato because I can't see her lying to Mahiru but she's still sus.

But it if it wasn't Sato, who was it?

And Sato just vanished and was found dead.

... Fuck...

WHO LET JUZO BE SCHOOL SECURITY?!

That man should not be anywhere near kids. And in a position of authority?

Fuck that.

Fucker, who just throws a kid on the ground.

Also I don't believe the story he's giving. I doubt he's telling the truth at all.

Also Hajime I get wanting to punch the shit out of Juzo.

But not the best idea to try to hit a staff member.

No matter how scummy they are.

Annnd especially when that guy is the ultimate boxer.

Man that's 2 protags this man has hit to the ground.

Someone hide the others.

...and he fucking spat on him?!

... Nevermind hit him again... With a truck.

I'm suprised Izuru allowed this guy to see daylight.

Juzo, you're nothing, so I dunno why you're on such a high horse.

You are a pathetic little bully and when you die I'm going to laugh.

Hell I'll cheer.

I don't think I've ever hated a character more than Juzo Sakakura.

Like Munakata I can get.

I can understand where he's coming from and why he has this mindset.

Granted I might have to get hit in the head first.

Several times.

But Juzo is literally just a bully, he's been a bully since day one. He's prejudiced, he thinks he's God's gift to the earth.

He abuses his position to beat a high schooler, fucking spat on him because he's not "an elite."

I have no idea how someone like Chisa befriended him.

And just, ugh. Fuck this guy.

The worst thing is, Hajime could've moved on. He could've accepted Chiaki's words.

Could have truly believed he didn't need a talent to mean something.

But it's asshole's like Juzo who literally beat it out of him.

That make him think he's nothing.

Hajime being picked wasn't an accident.

It was strategic.

Congratulations Juzo Sakakura you contributed to the creation of the man who's going to destroy us all.

Thank god Chisa stepped in.

Don't blame Hajime pushing away from her though, of course he can't trust them.

Her friend just beat him up.

Also "Dark side of Hope's Peak." Is people like you, you're literally contributing.

The project your investigating, you just gave them their test subject.

And he might not have even gone for it if it wasn't for asshole's like you.

You literally had to just not beat and berate a student, but that's to fucking hard for you.

Don't get me wrong I appreciate having a character like Juzo, I just hate him.

... No no you can argue with that logic.

I know it's dangerous for Hajime go be snooping about but that doesn't justify Juzo's actions at all.

You don't beat up students.

Asshole you don't know to be nice.

And the funny thing is by doing that you've just given him more reasons to go for the project.

And look how safe that was.

Wait are they arguing over Munakata?

... Really?...

Guys, raise your standards he looks like a wet mop.

Hajime saying he has somewhere to go and talking like Chiaki's never gonna see him again.

God... My heart hurts.

"I'm empty. But you can take something empty and fill it."

Parallel to Makoto saying that words can be hollow but you can fill them.

... Oh Hajime... You are worth so much and I'm sorry the world won't let you believe it.

[cogneartive]

The Beach Boys go to the Museum

A crackfic. Read if you want to immediately lose all your brain cells.

---

    Once upon a time, Brian Wilson was daydreaming about girls going to the museum which was very educational. More educational than daydreaming about girls which is good for you which is why he was daydreaming about going to the museum instead of girls. 

    “Yoo hoo brothers!” he said. 

    “What is it, big brother?” shouted Dennis and Carl Wilson from another part of the Beach Boys ResidenceTM

    “I have decided to go to the museum which is a very educational activity for us to do which will be beneficial for us,” said Brian. “I will call our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine.”

    “Oh ok, big brother,” the two younger Wilsons said. “As soon as we get out of the shower and clothe ourselves (which will probably align with the arrival of our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine), we shall take off in the Beach Boy MobileTM to go to the museum as you wish.”

T I M E S K I P

    “Incredible,” said Carl Wilson. “We have finished showering and being clothed just as our cousin, Michael Edward Love, and our friend, Alan Charles Jardine, have arrived.”

    “Now we can go to the  Beach Boy MobileTM to go to the museum Brian Wilson, my big brother, wishes.”     “I hate this story,” said Michael Edward Love, a man with no taste.

“Do not attempt to break the fourth wall,” said Brian Douglas Wilson, extremely annoyed at Mike Love’s lack of taste.

“Harrumph >:( !” harrumped Michael Edward Love.

Suddenly, Bruce Arthur Johnston appeared out of Norway. “May I come too?”

“Permission accepted,” said Al Jardine

T I M E S K I P

    The beach boys arrived at the Museum of Interesting Plot which interested them very much. They headed into the museum, where they bumped into GASP! The Beatles - an English rock band formed in Liverpool in 1960 with a line-up comprising John Lennon, Paul McCartney, George Harrison and Ringo Starr, who are regarded as the most influential band of all time. 

    “THE BEACH BOYS!” the bug boys ejected.

    “THE BEATLES!” the sand children exclaimed.

    “What a coincidence that we have bumped into you guys in the exact same museum,” said John Lennon. “I bet you were trying to sneak behind us and steal our songwriting ideas >:O”

    “Absolutely not >:O” said Brian Wilson, putting his hands on his hip in a gesture of frustration. “I bet YOU were trying to sneak behind us and steal OUR songwriting ideas”

    “We were not >:O” said Sir James Paul McCartney.

    They started fighting and in the moment of anger, they broke!! The statue of David (not Crosby unfortunately for the statue of David Crosby has cursed the museum for over a century now)!!!!!!!

    “HEY” said The Manager of The Museum (which was an unfortunate name given to him by his parents sad emoji)

    “Oh no” said Brian Wilson.

“Oh no” said Carl Wilson.

“Oh no” said Dennis Wilson.

“Oh no” said Mike Love.

“Oh no” said Al Jardine.

“Oh no” said Bruce Johnston.

“Oh no” said George Harrison.

“Oh no” said Paul McCartney.

“Oh no” said Ringo Starr

“Yoko Ono?” said John Lennon. “My wife in the future, depending on the era.”

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” THERE WAS A CAR CRASHING INTO THE MUSEUM WHICH BROKE THE STATUE OF DAVID TENNANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

IT WAS THE POOR MONKEES!!! IN THE MONKEE MOBILE!!!

“Ouchies!” said Micky Dolenz.

“OMG” said The Manager of The Museum (who happened to also be a clone of  Ringo Starr) He was angry. Very angry. So angry, that he was angry. “You guys better pay for this.”

“But we can’t,” said the Beatles (for Brian Epstein did not give them their allowance that day)

“We can’t either,” said the Beach Boys (for they had already spent enough on getting a nintendo switch to play animal crossing: new horizons.

This is left the poor, poor Monkees. “Bruh we poor af.”

“Then you have to work to pay for it smh,” said The Manager of The Museum.

“OH NO!” said all of them at once.

“You must go around the museum to find three fragments of the broken statue that you have broken, which somehow have been transported into the museum which you must complete challenges to get!”

“Like Dora the Explorer?” asked George Harrison, the youngest member of the Beatles. 

    “Yea,” saidThe Manager of The Museum. “Ok bye im gonna play animal crossing: new horizons now :))))))”

    “Ok. We must split up into three groups.”

BEACH BOYS SECTION - THE HALL OF THINGS THAT HAVE TO DO WITH WATER

    “Wow, how convenient is that we have coincidentally walked into the hall of things that have to do with water,” said Denny Wilson. “It is as this was planned.”

    And then…………………….”oh my god a wave,” said M*ke Love.

    “QUICKLY INTO THE BEACH GEAR” shouted Brian Wilson as they proceeded to use the sims animation to change into their beach gear. “NOW WE MUST.,,,,,,,,,,,,.,.,..,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,.,..,.,.,.,..,.,.,”

“We thro Dennise into da water bc he is da only 1 who can surf XD” said Mke Luv as he tossed Deniise into da water liKE A BOSS AND HI-FIVES ALL ROUND WAPOOSH WAPOOSH TAHK YOU GUYS FOR WATCHING AND I’LL SEE U IN THE NEXT VIDEO!!! *outro plays*

“Ahem,” said Ctrl. “We did not bring a surfboard,,,,,,,,so how is he supposed to surf??? Thonk emoji. Lmfao roasted XD”

“We use (drumroll pls) AL SARDINE as Da Surfboard Lmao!!!” said Miiiiiike lov e as they all jumped on Al Jardine.

“I did not feel a thing, lol” said ALAN JARDINE because he was a super strong boy (stock image of a blond guy flexing his muscles).

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

Surfing montage.

“Bruh we reusing animation bro,” said Denal Wilson.

“Oh look an island,” said Brain. Dey all hopped off and landed on the island. On the island was Kurt Cobain.

“Wow Mr Kurt Cobain,” said Broose Honda. “I did not know you lived on dis island.”

“I don’t rofl,” said Coq Au Vin as he handed them a statue fragment.

“Oh wow thx Coco Van,” as they flew away.

MONKEE SECTION - THE HALL OF….I DONT KNOW

    “Lmao is that Stephen Arthur Stills, an American singer, songwriter, and multi-instrumentalist best known for his work with Buffalo Springfield and Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young,” joked Micky Dolenz, pointing to a mirror in front of Peter Tork.

    “Lol yeah,” said Stephen.

    Micky screamed.

    “Here you go broski,” said Stephen Stills, handing them a fragment.

    “But what did we do?” asked Mike Nesmith.

    “Allowing the author to make the awful, often repeated annoying joke about me and Peter Halsten Thorkelson looking like identical twins.”

    “Ok thanks brewski,” said the Monkees as they headed off. “Come on Peter, don’t just stand there.”

    “But I’m Stephen.”

    “Wait,” said Davy. “But Peter was standing there just now.”

    “No, I was standing there.”

    The Monkees looked at each other and had a collective sigh. It was not gonna be as easy as they thought.

    And to make this complication more complicated, the author decided to make David Crosby, Graham Nash and Neil Young walk into the scene.

    “Bro Stephen wtf,” said Neil. “I knew you were small but I didn’t think you could crawl into the vents like that.”

    “But I’m Peter??????????”

    “Oh no not again,” said Graham Nash, already getting another headache.

    “Wait, wait wait, just a moment,” said Davy Jones. “Go back a bit. What do you mean by crawling through the vents.”

    “Please do not question the plot,” threatened David Crosby. 

    “YUH DAVY” said Micky. “Come on now, Peter,” - he grabbed Peter’s hand -” we gotta advance the plot.”

    “But I’m Stephen.”     Micky looked at him with such an expression that expressed a deep amount of hatred for the author. “It doesn’t matter. You guys are the same person anyway.”

The other lads shrugged and took poor Peter Halsten Dorkelson who was too confuzzled and befuddled and bamboozled to be crying.

BEATLES SECTION - THE HALL OF PAPERWORK

    “This is so boring,, (-_-)” said Jawn Jennon. “I think George Harrison fell asleep.”     “L M A O i did rofl lol,” said Heorge Garrison.

    “I am surprised because there is so much paperwork lying about that all look so boring!!” said Paul McEyelash.

    “Someone should clean this up smh,” said Ringone Starone.

    “YAAWWWWWWWWWWWNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!” they all sed at 1nce. That yawn pushed a stack of paper off a table, which caused a chain reaction, leading to a bucket falling down, a train being activated, a cow mooing and the members of Queen being awoken from their frozen-in-som-kind-a-tube state.

    “BRO WTF WHOMST WOKE US UP (((p(>o<)q)))” said Roger Taylor, stretching. “I was still having my beauty sleep.”

    “(O.O) omg (O.O)(O.O) oh mah gawd (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)” said Freddie Mercury. “Are those (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O) the legendary (O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O)(O.O) bug boys????????”

    “Ja” said gH.

    “ヽ(★ω★)ノ” said Brian May

    “(¬_¬") smh you woke up my cheese toast,” said John Deacon.

    “I guess, we should thank u for waking us up,” said Freddeh.

    “We wuz nevah gonna wake up,” said Briaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan Mei.

    “Take dis,” Rogah Taylah gave them a statue fragment that had landed in his hair.

    “Wow thanks that was EZ lmao,” said the bug boys as they went away.

T I M E S K I P

    “（●＾o＾●）” said The Manager of the Museum as he stuck the broken statue fragments of the broken statue of the Museum of Interesting Plot Idea (well I think that what it was called Lmao I didn’t check don’t correct me doe lel)

    “It was’t very challenging at all doe…” said Sand Children. “And for a story with out name in the title, we did not seem to get much attention at all.”

    “Shut up you’ll get your moment later,” said the others pointing down to the rest of the story. “See look at that.”     “None of this is very good,” said Mike Hate, a man with no taste.

    They all went into their respective vehicles and drove away.

    “WAIT!!!!!!” said Dave Jone of the Monkees, pausing the time. “We did not resolve the plot point of us actually kidnapping Steven Stills?????”

    “Help me,” said Stepe.

    “STFU IT’S OUR STORY (◣_◢)” said the beach of the boys, so infuriated with them that smoke came out of their ears like a boiling kettle and their eyes started glowing red which indicated anger.

    “Oh ok sorry lel, he’s British Lol,” said Mike Nesmith.

    “STFU Myke Gessmith.”

    “;~;” said Mike Nukesmith.

    “Y do u guys always have to take the spotlight?!” asked the Beaky Bubs.

    “Bc we’re the author’s favourites, unfortunately,” said Micky, shivering at the memories of what had happened to them before in previous crack fics.

    “Sux for u lmao.”

    Uh how to end dis. Boom. Story done lel.

    THE END FADE TO BLACK

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.Al Barmine

[forkanna]

[AO3 LINK] [WATTPAD] [QUOTEV]

"Go on without me."

"What?" Kristoff piped up. "Why, did you forget something?"

"Yes!" she seized on, actually pointing at him. "I forgot something, but I… do not want you to come with me. To get it. The something."

Honey was smirking, though as it turned out, not because she had sussed the situation. "Have to make a phone call, hm? Fine. We'll save you a spot on the sand." Then she was tugging Kristoff away before he could protest any further, though he still shot a couple of looks over his shoulder.

And now Elsa… had to think fast. This was a disaster. She wasn't ready to come out! But she couldn't let her internet acquaintance come all this way for nothing, either! Maybe she was wrong; maybe the voice was just strikingly similar to the one she adored. But the body poking down and out from under the brim of that beanie was also a match. And when the girl turned away from the desk, frustrated with the man and preparing to stomp out the front door-

Anna.

Seconds left now. As an actor, she had taken extensive improv courses; even if she was still an awkward bean, sometimes that skillset came in handy. As it would now.

"You are alright, ja?"

"Huh?" Anna asked, looking up at her with teary eyes. She hesitated a moment when she got a really good look at Elsa… distracted by her obvious beauty. Was the jig up already? Then shook her head hard, red braids bouncing to and fro.

"O-oh… n-nah, I'm just… dumb. Thanks." And she prepared to brush past, but Elsa jogged to the side to block her path.

"I vill say you are not dumb." It had been a while since she dusted off her Swedish accent - not since the evil twin episode - but Anna didn't seem to notice. "But you are upset. Vill you join me… for a drink?"

"Don't have any money." Her lip wobbled before she did a decent imitation of a polite smile. "Stupid, right? What am I doing here, why did I drive all this way… nah. Doesn't matter."

"No, no, I pay. Come to here." She gestured to the bar at the far end of the lobby's lounge, with its neon lights and vest-wearing mixologist.

Anna frowned, squirmed uncertainly… then sighed and followed her. They got seated and she ordered a beer, asking for "something on tap", and Elsa asked for a Heineken - leaning into her role. Since ordering her an Arbor Mist would have given her away. Then she laid a hand on the younger girl's shoulder.

"This is important to you, ja? It is not stupid. Please, I have an ear to listen."

"No, it's…" She drummed her fingers on the bartop as she slouched down. "She's so… I drove here because I knew a friend was going to be here. But like, I've never met her in person; I don't even know her name. And she didn't know I was coming, so like, I'm kind of a gross stalker - which is really dumb, since I accused her of being one before. How the turn tables, as Michael Scott would say."

"Hmm. Vell… I do not know dis Michael," she replied, making Anna snort in distant amusement. "But I am sure… your friend will not be angry." And she wasn't. Distressed, yes, and panicking, but not at all angry. Quite the opposite; she was touched.

"It doesn't matter!" she burst out as her head thonked against the bar. "I can't wait here! Like, I'm not a paying customer! I'm still not, so as soon as you head to your room they're gonna call the cops, I'm pretty sure."

"They vill not. You vill come to the beach vith me, and… ve vill figure out what to do."

"No…" She sat back up and took a deep breath, then let it out slowly as she came to a decision. "No. This is my fault. Like, I did the dumb thing, I gotta go home and face that I just burned a bunch of gas because I'm way too impulsive. Why didn't I just… ask her? Text her? Noooo, I had to do the big 'surprise! It's that weirdo from the internet!' thing instead!"

By the end of it, Elsa was smiling down at her. Perfect. This girl was actually even better than her halfassed fantasies had told her she was.

"Nej, you vill not do dat. Come to the beach, please?"

"I don't… I mean, I do want to come, but I don't deserve it." Now the tears came for real; she had managed to hold them back until then. "I j-just want to see her and tell her I'm sorry. But I can't. S-so I gotta go drive off a pier or something now."

"Drive off later. Beach. Now."

Taking a big swig of her beer, she shrugged. "Alright. At least it gets me out of that jerkface's thinning hair for a little while." With a nod toward the front desk, she got up from her stool. "Thanks, um…"

Why not? "Elsa. And you?"

"I'm Anna, Anna Granger." She held out her free hand formally, then blinked and laughed. "Ugh… too many interviews with professors and shit. Sorry to get all formal."

"It is fine," she chuckled, taking it and shaking anyway. "I am happy to meet you. Let us walk."

They walked. Once out on the deck, Elsa appreciated something she hadn't quite been able to put her finger on before; Anna in clothes. She had seen all kinds of slutty outfits on her, but never this jeans-and-tee combo with ratty old Converse. Too cute. The setting sun just barely caught in her aquamarine eyes, and the shadows flickering in and out of her coppery hair as they passed the electric tiki torches were like spirits at play. Every freckle was one she wanted to kiss…

Yeah. She had it bad.

"Thanks for hanging out," Anna whispered with a weak smile. "I'm… really Cusacking it."

"Hm? Cusacking?"

"Y'know… from Say Anything?" Elsa was starting to catch on, but still listened. "He makes the big dumb gesture, and it's not quite enough but everything turns out okay? Feels like one of those deals."

Elsa shrugged. "Perhaps it is, ja. Tell me about this woman you do not know, but you know."

"Oh… she's amazing. An actor who works really hard, like, I can tell it's killing her but she loves it. I know she's tall, and she's thin… hot yoga? Dumb stuff I probably shouldn't remember. She likes her coffee with peppermint, sweet potato fries. Oh - and she probably has a 3DS in her purse. Unless she decided not to bring it on vacation…"

As they got to the beach, Elsa made a mental note to keep her purse closed. She also suddenly realised there was a very large obstacle to keeping this whole thing incognito. Two of them, in fact… and they were already waving her down so animatedly that people on the hotel roof could have seen them.

"Ohhhhh Scheiße."

                                                To Be Continued…

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Fl4k Fl4k Fl4k Fl4k Fl-

i didn’t die i just fell in love with that skill tree creator and have done nothing for the past few days but make skill trees and sleep for 3 hour intervals. im very excited for the gameplay on Wednesday but oh man oh me oh my i gotta catch up on a lot of posts lol

tl;dr: Fl4k is a badass. Stop misgendering them or I’ll show up at your home at 3am local time every time and then eat your spine. Bonus: Mr. Chew being an ‘Eridian skag’ is probably due to some funky mutation from eridium/slag/eridian stuff. Kinda like how Threshers have the ability to make singularities because they are native to Elpis, which is a big ol’ Eridian base (which i totally addressed in this post lol). I also gave my opinion on Fl4k’s skills in general, if you’re interested in that. Overall, a very awesome trailer! Definitely lived up to the hype.

i said it before, this trailer was one of the best ones. definitely #2 for me, Zane is still at #1 because i actually laughed during it. the music in this one is definitely the best out of all 4 tho. seems like they’re all variations of the same song, i like this one best. I need this soundtrack sooo bad.

also i know probably no one else following this blog watches one piece but like

that first footstep with the studded boot and the sound effect immediately flung me back to katakuri. god katakuri was a badass. i was so excited to see that fight animated.

mr chew spinning around is my favorite thing ever. i love that you can tell the personality of the pets just from watching the intro. 

i know fl4k is like a real badass in this trailer, but i get the feeling they’re going to end up being at least a little soft for their pets. i mean... they have stuffed animals of them ffs.

so... we’re near Sanctuary-III in this trailer? I gotta keep my eye out then. i also want to see if that one claptrap area guess i had is correct or not... this looks like an entryway for the garage so im guessing i wasn’t, but let’s seeeee

there is a raised bit up and to the left

also im wondering if this means we’re going to have to rescue ellie from the CoV.

hmmmmmmmm

hmmmmm i don’t think the signs match up.

mr chew is the goodest boy. im so glad we can pet/interact with him!! i want to know what the names of the other pets are

also, a bit off topic but

i could have sworn fl4k’s jabber was cryo/shock. it was blue, wasn’t it? i wonder if they changed it or if it’s skill upgrades change its color. i thought the upgrades just gave it better guns.

yeah it was! i guess possibly upgrading it with the guns gives it a new color scheme? maybe? this could be the gunslinger upgrade!

it looks like their jabber went through the most design changes out of all of the pets. that or this is yet another upgrade (since each pet has 3 states). maybe this is the beefcake version.

‘bitch’. i love how expressive fl4k is with just the eye. very well done.

ohhh you know what that building is in the back?

[we’re near the intro to the game!]*

and tbh i don’t think this place has the building for Ellie’s Scrap in it... i don’t see it anywhere. maybe this is the actual scrapyard and the building is on the other side?

not quite sure tbh. but at least we know this place may also be near sanc-iii, just maybe not the same area as the actual Ellie’s Scrap.

i mean... there IS a shitload of cars everywhere. i wouldn’t surprised if it’s near her garage cause it looks like a scrapyard.

but also where in the fuck are all these ‘normal’ looking cars coming from?? it’s not like we see them being used on pandora. all the ones we see in bl1/2 are clearly dilapidated and rusting. big thonk. at least the vans/busses kinda make sense.

oh yeah that is definitely the same building. [it’s the recruitment center!]*

this scene with the rakk is my favorite out of all the trailers. so fuckin cool

i do hope the jabber goes back to being blue at some point. i like the red design too, don’t get me wrong, but i much prefer the glowy blue. it’s my favorite color and you guys know i love glowing things 👀

<Huge Selection!!!> lol

cat/doggo/monkey. mr chew is my favorite pet but i love the jabber panting like a dog lol

i never knew this is where spiderant mouths were

i always assumed they were below that... f r e a k y

“he likes to chase cars”

fl4k probably took them to the scrapyard for this exact reason ngl. fl4k being a big softie to their pets confirmed

(also, notice how fl4k uses ‘he’ for mr chew. it’s almost as if they understand the concept of gender, chose their own pronouns, and your argument that they only are nonbinary only because they “don’t understand yet” is invalid! Fl4k is canonically nonbinary and uses they/them/theirs pronouns as confirmed by both SungWon Cho and their in-game skills. 

Now that you know, use they/them/theirs for Fl4k or get off my blog. Because by not doing so, you are disrespecting the devs’ wishes for this character AND the nonbinary people who find representation in them and I won’t support that. if you feel like arguing your reasons to purposefully misgender them even after knowing this, please DM me so I can block you. thanks! 

For those of you out there actually making an effort: mistakes happen, especially if Fl4k is the first NB person you’ve learned about. Just make sure to correct yourself then move on, and we’re okay. Everyone has to learn sometime and it’s better to put in the effort than not care at all. It will become second nature.)

Fl4k is such a badass, they really are way different than i expected (personality-wise), but i am not complaining. gearbox knows me better than i know myself, so i know i’m going to end up loving Fl4k anyway. ProZD did such a fantastic job, i honestly did not recognize him at first! i can tell with certain words now, but wow i am blown away. 

i hope we’re able to climb that bird’s nest lookin’ thing in the back. it would be perfect for sniping and/or placing ur clone for maximum coverage.

seriously, what a badass.

idk i feel obligated to give my opinions of Fl4k over here since they were recently released. I am digging them 100%, tho i was kinda surprised (not in a bad way) they’re not as... i guess soft as i was expecting from their character design with the plushes and the face on the backpack and the smiley face pin, but i imagine that’s different when they’re interacting with their pets. im super curious to see how this VH group’s dynamic is going to go. 

mechanically, their skills seem perfect for people who loved sniper Zer0 and in general Mordecai, with a splash of Salvador tossed in for good luck. I am a dirty melee Zer0 main and i prefered Phasewalking over Bloodwing (altho i still play mordy bc he’s best bl1 VH) so, while I am definitely going to give Fl4k a go, they’re not my main bl3 Vault Hunter, that’s reserved for Zane and his lovely ability to befuddle enemies and run around. Funnily enough, I’m not even a fan of pet classes, so Fl4k being second in my play order is pretty funny. Tho, yeah, Amara being last is also pretty weird. I guess I don’t necessarily enjoy melee, I just enjoy messing with the bad guys lol

ohh, also, I am most interested in the upgrade for mr. chew that gives him the ability to create singularities and is called ‘Eridian Skag’. 

so I’m not saying my theory that the threshers on the moon were connected to Eridians was right, I’m just saying they’re the only form of wildlife we know that has a singularity ability (outside of Mr. Chew, apparently). 

im just saying gearbox, you should hire me to write your deep lore for you cause i’d do it for free

im wondering if we’ll be seeing skags with wormhole abilities in bl3. maybe the constant exposure to slag is starting to mutate them further beyond just elemental bonuses (on badass skags). We know Maya’s phaselock has a singularity ability (so does Amara’s phasegrasp), and that is sorta ‘occurring naturally’ (you know, as natural as siren powers can get) unlike the singularity grenades we encounter which use our known technology. plus, uh, whatever happened to the destroyer’s eye in TPS that made it create a singularity/wormhole by injecting it with a fuckload of slag. that probably has something to do with this as well.

but geez i really hope mr. chew is okay with being all slag/eridium-ed up. i guess being badass elemental skags doesn’t appear to hurt them, just make them more powerful, unlike humans. maybe that has something to do with sentience, if slag/eridium/eridian stuff actually is driving bandits crazy. could explain why/if the jabber doesn’t get an element like the skag (eridian skag) and spiderant (fire) do, since they’re described as semi-sentient...

anyway.

Fl4k is cool. Definitely a neat trailer- my second favorite for sure- and the skill tree drop blew me away because i was not expecting it. im expecting a lot of Fl4k mains in the first few weeks of gameplay because they look like a lot of fun!

EDIT: i was wrong, in the newest IGN vid, it turns out we ARE near the recruitment center, because that IS the recruitment center

they gave them little orange flags! good to know!!

[pixieradio]

yall pray for me because at school today i was just thonking, trying to at least think of contrustive things, and the sub comes up anf asks for my name. i say it, and he wrote it down. i gotta super scared/confused/pissed because i didnt know what i did. at the end of class, he gave the good kids lollipops. and GUESS WHAT?! he SKIPPED me and my friend next to me! im so mfing scared he's gonna get me a DETENTION! he's subbing for my math teacher in a few weeks and now i am soooooo fucked. ughhh

[lepdopt]

me thonking about that kingsman: redux comic idea i had where i basically take film kingsman and make it better and gayer... everything against matthew vaughn but nothing against mark millar cuz i havent read the ACTUAL kingsman comics yet but.....u kno. a gays gotta do what a gays gotta do.

some little ideas to note: 

kingsman is actually unknown to the government / thus the government sees it as a threat when they find out about it. its more of a rebel group that takes on the gentlemanly facade + thee government does not like that one bit.

poppy is actually much less cartoony and much more gritty - like a real corrupt drug cartel. plus charlie tries to redeem himself despite being apart of the golden circle / doesn’t die, or could die, due to the fact that he betrayed poppy. 

the whole aggressive, murderous epidemic that happened in the first film is pinned on the kingsman and not val and gaz, and the fbi is chasing after them constantly. harry is seen as the mastermind of the epidemic - the only thing notable that they can trace of testing the devices, is the south glade church massacre, leading them to believe harry is the perpetrator + creator of the virus.

val and gaz live in this. they too, are much more underground, not particularly celebs, or they are - but very b-list - and they don’t purposefully stamp their name on everything, they don’t wish to get caught. they instead frame the kingsman at every chance they get. and after the whole epidemic is solved, val and gaz still pop up from time to time to try and kill remaining agents as revenge... think edgy team rocket.

roxy and merlin are still alive - roxy is unharmed but because of her being close to the blast she’s now deaf. merlin is missing both his legs and is now in a wheelchair due to the impact of the landmine. 

tilde joins the kingsman and ditches her royal title and is given a new identity. also fuck the whole tilde x eggsy shit. it was forced... she’s a lesbian, thank you.

statesman and kingsman join forces. jack and harry do side missions together / subplot of them in an undercover mission where they pose as lovers and accidentally fall in love (YES i have got a thread going w that exact plot i know i KNOW)

ginger ale and merlin become good behind-the-line friends. 

a lot more of dynamic + world-building with more consistency. 

more poc and openly lgbt cast because arthur is dead the bigot controlling the agency is now DEAD where are the HOORAHS?

[thehando-a]

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

name: okuyasu nijimura

eye colour: brown !

hair style/colour: black on the top, lighter grey on the bottom

height: 5′ 10″ / 178cm

clothing style: almost exclusively the uniform he wears in canon, unwashed, for days on end. if not that, simple colored tank - tops and sweatpants.

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

your fears: there’s large, conceptual ones like losing the people he loves, and making serious decisions without help. however, also many other small, nigh childish ones: dark rooms, scary pictures, the like.

your guilty pleasure: this man is a foodie. he eats lots

your biggest pet peeve: okuyasu has a very short fuse so.... anything, in spans of minutes, can become a petpeeve

your ambitions for the future: if im to be honest? okuyasu doesnt have any specific ones. the money he saved from the lottery will, inevitably, end up most likely going towards whatever he can to help his dad, and just settling by in morioh. most likely, due to his grades, he wont get an exuberant job that pays lots. and most definitely, hell never go back to bigger cities, like tokyo or S. City. ( not that he particularly wants to ). whether or not he realizes it early, he will most definitely settle to be, if anything, a busboy/dishwasher with tonio.

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

your first thoughts waking up: first thought? five more minutes. then its something like o! gotta feed dad n cat! and then its lamentation of having to go to school.

what you think about most: most of the time? he’s thinking about the coming weekend and what plans hell have. usually? none.

what you think about before bed: he might, if anything, consider what he had for homework, but if anything, hell replay the day that had just happened.

you think your best quality is: lets just say hes very.... HUMBLE. lmao, im not sure -- theres no definitive feature hed point out as ! this is the best ! he’d definitely, if anything, say his best quality is his The Hando!!!

WHAT’S BETTER?

single or group dates: hed be much better off on group dates. a double date perhaps?.

to be loved or respected: :thonk:

beauty or brains: shrug.

dogs or cats: he's the badboy you see handling stray cats around town.... realistically tho... hes partial to doggies…..

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU…

lie: oku would never

believe in yourself: his fighting prowess? he’s sure of. but in terms of mental capacity? never

believe in love: he believes in the truest love.

want someone: tfw no gf. 

LAYER SIX: EVER BEEN…

been on stage: never.

done drugs: he would try smoking once. but then cough up a lung n decide never again

changed who you were to fit in: no thats dumby

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

favourite colour: gold

favourite animal: dogs ! dogs ! dogs!.

favourite movie: the rocky movies? would be his absolute favorite. he wants to, its his dream, to Be Rocky..

favourite game: super smash bros!!!!!!!!!! whichever one came out in the middle of the buttfuck 80s 

LAYER EIGHT: AGE

day your next birthday will be: oct 2 (i couldnt find a date so i just chose one in libra szn... if yall know lmk U_U).

how old will you be: 17!

age you lost your virginity: no

does age matter: i don’t get it. ( this question sucks)

LAYER NINE: IN A PERSON

best personality: someone who can deal with a temper, and also doesnt make him all annoyed n riled up. as long as theyre just. generally nice and decent and good?!!

best eye colour: doesn’t matter.

best hair colour: doesn’t matter.

best thing to do with a partner: okuyasu straight up just wants to have a milkshake with someone (and then steal the entire thing and bring it to his side of the table)

LAYER TEN: FINISH THE SENTENCE

i love: food.

i feel: angery.

i hide: definitely from his past.

i miss: mother / brother.

i wish: that he still had his family. TAGGED BY:  @heartshredded MY MEME DEALER!!!!!!!