#guava and grudges

[richincolor]

This month is starting off with a huge spread of books! There's something for just about everyone here. Which books are on your TBR list?

Celestial Monsters (The Sunbearer Duology #2) by Aiden Thomas Feiwel & Friends

Teo never thought he could be a Hero. Now, he doesn’t have a choice. The sun is gone, the Obsidian gods have been released from their prison, and now chaos and destruction are wreaking havoc on Reino del Sol. All because Teo refused to sacrifice a fellow semidiose during the Sunbearer Trials. With the world plunged into perpetual night, Teo, Aurelio and Niya must journey to the dark wilderness of Los Restos, battling vicious monsters while dealing with guilt, trauma, and a (very distracting) burgeoning romance between Teo and Aurelio. Once more racing against the clock, the trio are determined to rescue the captured semidioses and retrieve the Sol Stone. With it, Sol and their protective light can return and order can be restored. Now the future of the whole world is in their hands.

God Flare (The Reckoner Rises #3) written by David Alexander Robertson & illustrated by Scott B Henderson HighWater Press

Cole and Eva are reunited once more. A new terror looms as Mihko Laboratories latest human experiments are about to be unleashed. Cole is on the long road to recovery, but he’s still struggling with survivor’s guilt. He must stay focused as he, Eva, and their friends prepare for the final showdown with Mihko. After the events of Version Control, Brady’s mind is fractured, and he can’t distinguish between what really happened and what Mikho made him believe. Eva and Cole may have to face this terrifying threat without him. It’s a grim prospect, but a new discovery might just change everything: God Flare. Will Brady recover enough to join the fight? Can Cole come to terms with his abilities in spite of his PTSD? And will God Flare help even the odds against Mihko? God Flare is the latest volume in the Reckoner Rises series from best-selling author David A. Robertson.

Guava and Grudges by Alexis Castellanos Bloomsbury

Ana Maria Ybarra dreams of becoming a world-famous pastry chef, but dreams have a cost. Her family can barely keep the family business running, let alone pay for culinary school. Ana Maria helps out at the family bakery, Café Y Mas, whenever she can, but they are struggling while the rival Cuban bakery across the street, Morales Bakery, is doing better than ever with their Instagram famous desserts. Ana Maria's only hope is winning a recipe competition, which has a grand prize big enough to pay for culinary school. But then the ultimate distraction shows up in her small town: Miguel, a boy she spent one magical day with six months ago, and who she never thought she'd see again. Ana Maria thinks maybe fate has brought them together again for a reason-- until she learns the horrible truth that Miguel is a Morales. A Ybarra cannot be associated with a Morales-let alone fall for one. But when Miguel offers to help Ana Maria with the competition, she is so desperate to win she can't turn him down. All she needs to do is keep Miguel at arm's length and keep their deal a secret from their families. After all, teaming up with Miguel is just business, nothing more…right?

Immortal Dark (Immortal Dark Trilogy #1) by Tigest Girma Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

The Cruel Prince meets Ninth House in this dangerously romantic dark academia fantasy, where a lost heiress must infiltrate an arcane society and live with the vampire she suspects killed her family and kidnapped her sister. It began long before my time, but something has always hunted our family. Orphaned heiress Kidan Adane grew up far from the arcane society she was born into, where human bloodlines gain power through vampire companionship. When her sister, June, disappears, Kidan is convinced a vampire stole her—the very vampire bound to their family, the cruel yet captivating Susenyos Sagad. To find June, Kidan must infiltrate the elite Uxlay University—where students study to ensure peaceful coexistence between humans and vampires and inherit their family legacies. Kidan must survive living with Susenyos—even as he does everything he can to drive her away. It doesn’t matter that Susenyos’s wickedness speaks to Kidan’s own violent nature and tempts her to surrender to a life of darkness. She must find her sister and kill Susenyos at all costs. When a murder mirroring June’s disappearance shakes Uxlay, Kidan sinks further into the ruthless underworld of vampires, risking her very soul. There she discovers a centuries-old threat—and June could be at the center of it. To save her sister, Kidan must bring Uxlay to its knees and either break free from the horrors of her own actions or embrace the dark entanglements of love—and the blood it requires.

Little Moons written by Jen Storm & illustrated by Ryan Howe HighWater Press

In this moving graphic novel, thirteen-year-old Reanna grieves the loss of her older sister. Can she find comfort through her family’s Ojibwe traditions? It’s been a year since Reanna’s sister, Chelsea, went missing on her way home from school. Without any idea of what happened, Reanna and her family struggle to find closure. Driven from their home by memories, Reanna’s mom moves to the big city. Left behind on the reserve, Reanna and her little brother go to live with their dad. Reanna is hurt and angry that her mom has run away. She feels lonely, abandoned… but she is not alone. Lights turn on in empty rooms, and objects move without being touched. There are little moons everywhere.

One Last Chance to Live by Francisco X. Stork Scholastic Press

What would you do if you had one last summer to live? Nico has always believed in his dreams. Especially the dream he has of becoming a writer; it's the reason why he started taking a creative writing class his senior year of high school. But then Nico has a dream about his own funeral. A dream that feels too real to ignore. In it, Rosario is beckoning to him. Rosario was Nico's neighbor, his best friend's girlfriend, and his inspiration. She was also the girl that Nico was in love with. And Rosario died last year. Nico becomes obsessed with figuring out what Rosario was trying to say to him, and how she died. Surely if he can make sense of her death, he can find a way to prevent his own? But at the same time, Nico's mom is sick, and his brother is falling down a bad path with a local gang. Nico knows it's on him to step up and take care of his family -- but how can he keep it together when, like Rosario, he sees how easy it might be to just let go of it all. This searingly beautiful and hopeful novel is about the search for a life of meaning and creativity, while also accepting the flawed life that we're given. It's a love story between a teen boy and the girl who still haunts his dreams.

A Second Chance on Earth by Juan Vidal Holiday House

Have you ever encountered a book that KO’d you, Iron Mike Tyson style? One that hit you square in the face and heart like some abracadabra casting a hex from an unknown planet? For sixteen-year-old poet and b-baller Marcos Cadena, that book is the beat-up copy of One Hundred Years of Solitude he finds among his late father’s possessions after Papi is killed in an accident. Marcos’ papi has always loomed large in his eyes. So, when Marcos travels to his parents’ childhood home of Cartagena, Colombia to spread Papi’s ashes, he brings his father’s book with him, convinced that Gabriel García Márquez’s masterpiece holds the key to understanding Papi’s life and accepting his death. In Cartagena, Marcos befriends eighteen-year-old Camilo, a taxi driver and fellow García Márquez fan who appoints himself Marcos’ unofficial tour guide. Together, the two boys explore the landscape of Cartagena, from the picturesque streets of Old Town to the poor neighborhood where Camilo grew up. But when Camilo reveals a troubling secret from his past, Marcos must ask himself whether everyone deserves a second chance. Woven through with themes of friendship, family, and forgiveness, this poignant novel in verse is also a love letter to Colombia and to the books of Gabriel García Márquez.

Shadows of Perl (House of Marionne #2) by J. Elle Razorbill

Unleash the darkness. Claim your power. Quell Marionne’s explosive final Rite of Induction to House Marionne sent shockwaves through the magical world, unearthing long buried secrets and her own deadly power. But she paid a steep price: her family and her love. Fleeing Chateau Soleil for House of Perl, for once Quell is celebrated instead of shunned. She has finally found somewhere to belong. But secrets lurk in every House, and Quell’s quest to find her mom threatens to lead her deeper into the shadows. Assassin Jordan Wexton, second-in command of the Dragun brotherhood, must protect the source of all magic, the Sphere. Yet the biggest threat to the Sphere is Quell Marionne—the girl he loved, until she claimed the deadly, outlawed toushana. As the Sphere cracks and war brews among the Houses, can the only way to save the world be to kill his own heart? Now, these two lovers-turned enemies must confront their competing ambitions and conflicting loyalties. Or die. The future of magic hangs on their decision.

The Unfinished by Cheryl Isaacs Heartdrum

In this debut YA horror novel by Cheryl Isaacs (Mohawk), small-town athlete Avery is haunted by the black water and Unfinished beings of Kanyen’kehá:ka stories and must turn to the culture she hasn’t felt connected to in order to save her town. The black water has been waiting. Watching. Hungry for the souls it needs to survive. When small-town athlete Avery’s morning run leads her to a strange pond in the middle of the forest, she awakens a horror the townspeople of Crook’s Falls have long forgotten. Avery can smell the water, see it flooding everywhere; she thinks she’s losing her mind. And as the black water haunts Avery—taking a new form each time—people in town begin to go missing. Though Avery had heard whispers of monsters from her Kanyen’kehá:ka (Mohawk) relatives, she’s never really connected to her Indigenous culture or understood the stories. But the Elders she has distanced herself from now may have the answers she needs. When Key, her best friend and longtime crush, is the next to disappear, Avery is faced with a choice: listen to the Kanyen’kehá:ka and save the town but lose her friend forever…or listen to her heart and risk everything to get Key back. In her stunning debut, Cheryl Isaacs pulls the reader down into an unsettling tale of monsters, mystery, and secrets that refuse to stay submerged.

Wednesday: A Novelization of Season One by Tehlor Kay Mejia Random House Books for Young Readers

Return to the hallowed halls of Nevermore Academy with Wednesday Addams in this delightfully dark novelization of season one of the hit show, Wednesday! Wednesday is a sleuthing, supernaturally infused mystery charting Wednesday Addams’ time as a student at Nevermore Academy. Follow along with her as she attempts to master her emerging psychic ability, thwart a monstrous killing spree that has terrorized the local town and solve the supernatural mystery that embroiled her parents 25 years ago — all while navigating her new and very tangled relationships at Nevermore Academy. Relive the excitement and intrigue in this amazing novelization of the phenomenal first season. Based on the characters created by Charles Addams.

When Haru Was Here by Dustin Thao Wednesday Books

We Are Okay meets Wandavision in this novel about loss, and learning to let go. After the death of his best friend, Eric Ly creates imaginary scenarios in his head to deal with his grief. Until one of them becomes real when a boy he met last summer in Japan finds his way back into his life. When he least expects it, Haru Tanaka walks into the coffee shop and sits down next to him. The only thing is, nobody else can see him. In a magical turn of events, Eric suddenly has someone to connect with, making him feel less alone in the world. But as they spend more and more time together, he begins to question what is real. When he starts losing control of the very thing that is holding him together, Eric must finally confront his reality. Even if it means losing Haru forever.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 3/5

Book Blurb:

“Filled with decadent descriptions of food,bittersweet rivalries, and zesty romantic tension, Guava and Grudges will have you hungry for more from Alexis Castellanos. A deliciously sweet read!” -Ashley Poston, New York Times best-selling author of The Dead Romantics, The Seven Year Slip, and A Novel Love Story

A Cuban Girl's Guide to Tea and Tomorrow meets Tweet Cute in this YA romcom about two teens from rival Cuban bakeries who create a recipe for disaster when they start to fall for each other.

Ana Maria Ybarra dreams of becoming a pastry chef. She loves developing new and exciting Cuban-fusion treats in her family's bakery, but her dad refuses to change the menu created by her abuelo decades ago-meanwhile, the rival bakery across the street, Morales Bakery, is thriving with their Instagram-famous desserts.

Ana Maria's only hope to change her dad's mind and save up for culinary school is winning a recipe competition with a social media angle. But then the ultimate distraction shows up in her small town: Miguel, a boy she spent one magical day with six months ago, and who she never thought she'd see again. Ana Maria thinks maybe fate has brought them together again-until she learns the horrible truth. Miguel is a Morales.

An Ybarra cannot be associated with a Morales, let alone fall for one. But when she finds out Miguel is behind the Moraleses' viral success and he offers to help her with the competition, she is so desperate to win she can't turn him down. All she needs to do is keep Miguel at arm's length and make sure their families don't find out. After all, teaming up with Miguel is just business and nothing more…right?

Review:

All her life Ana Maria Ybarra has only two goals: become a pastry chef and make sure to maintain the rivalry between her family's Cuban bakery and the rival bakery across the street owned by the Morales family, the only problem is she's fallen for a Morales herself. Ana Maria wants to become a pastry chef and hopes to help her family's bakery beat their rival neighbor's bakery. She wants to go to culinary school and win a social media competition that would give her the money to do it... and that's beside the fact that she has to break that news to her parents. Yet last summer she met a cute boy named Miguel, that she fell for and to her great surprise he's come to her small town.... and she's discovered that he belongs to the Morales family, her family's sworn enemies. Ana knows it's forbidden for her to be associated with a Morales, let alone have feelings for one, yet when she discovers that Miguel is the one behind the Moraleses' viral success and he wants to help her with her competition... she can't turn him down. Yet the harder she tries to keep him at arm's length the more she can't seem to resist how kind and charming he is. Yet if her family finds out she knows she's going to be in deep trouble. Can she sort out this mess before it explodes? This was an easy read featuring two rival families with a romeo/juliet esque vibe. Ana Maria is determined to make her family happy that it completely clouds her judgement. She's definitely what you'd expect a teen to act like and I feel like it's a cute YA read. Miguel was a really charming an cute romance interest for her and overall, it's a fine read.

Release Date: September 3, 2024

Publication/Blog: Ash and Books (ash-and-books.tumblr.com)

*Thanks Netgalley and Bloomsbury USA Children's Books | Bloomsbury YA for sending me an arc in exchange for an honest review*

[six-eyed-samurai]

idk if you write for gachiakuta but i saw you like it.. is it possible you could write some stuff for enjin, follo, and zanka 😭😭? i feel like tumblr is so empty in terms of gachiakuta fanfics!!

THANK YOU FOR THIS REQ I'M SO EXCITED LIKE RUBBING MY HANDS TOGETHER AND SMIRKING EXCITED >:) I've actually already written a couple things for Enjin and a Follo fic already, and a Zanka WIP, you can check my master list if you'd like ♡ YOU'RE SO RIGHT THE FANDOM IS LACKING and I'm trying to finish some non reader related fics as well to vamp it up T-T

do I like Gachiakuta? my pink guava lemonade, I live and breathe Gachiakuta.

ENJIN:

There used to be a very nice booth at the back of the bar he liked to frequent in his free time.

Used to, because one day a whole lot of trash fell on top of it and Enjin's still looking around for a new haunt that doesn't serve expired poison for drinks.

It used to have the right combination of rowdy noise and not many patrons. The seats were worn and torn, the tables creaky. Dim enough to make everyone look extremely fine, or maybe that was the alcohol talking. He socialized and the bartender knew his name, but when Enjin and just finished a mission or wanted to have a cigarette break he made a beeline to that particular booth at the back. No one really took that seat and it was pretty dark - dark enough that to this day Enjin still thinks about how lucky he is to have no one find out about when he accidentally burnt the table. It's his seat.

“Got your name on it? It's a free seat.”

“Yeah well, it's my seat. I sit here, you can ask around!”

A pair of disinterestedness eyes flick to him. “Then I'm sitting here now.”

“Wow. Rude.”

How old are you, Semiu said exasperatedly. Just share the seat or go find somewhere else to sit, she'd dryly commented when he dragged himself back and grumbled about it. Enjin wasn't a petty man but he's not letting the fact that he got kicked out from his booth, after a fight he lost and ensured a particularly brutal verbal spar about the way he smelled slide. No. It was a matter of pride now.

The bastard had the audacity to show up at the exact spot the next day! Lazily looking him over with an “Oh, you again. You really want this seat, huh?”

“I'm sure we can figure something out,” Enjin said. No - an empty wallet and half a dozen drinks later he still wasn't convincing enough to get his seat back.

Enjin's not sure exactly when did it go from a grudge settlement to a competition to see who could get to the bar first and claim it, to a playful cat and mouse game he is definitely not enjoying. It's on purpose, he complains, the seat's taken just to spite him despite all the other empty tables. Riyo refrains from mentioning the same could be said of him.

“I was thinking.” At least they shared a lighter for a smoke.

“Oh, don't do that. It'll hurt your head.”

“Salty, aren't we? Sorry, the seat's still mine.”A sip. “Why not just share the seat? There's enough for both of us. And we can finally talk like mature adults.”

“I'm a fully mature adult, you're…whatever you are.”

He surrendered anyway, and after that they spent their nights opposite each other, sometimes moving or inching closer, on the same booth and just coexisting, giving Semiu a bigger headache with Enjin's slacking off even more.

( “Don't you need to go back soon?”

“Nah, not really. Let's have another round of cards.” Yeah, well, he's already an hour or two late, can't get worse than that.)

Name, age, birthday, secret talents, family, occupation, Enjin learnt it all; favourite colour, food, drink, card game, et cetera. No, he doesn't like the company (it's the highlight of his day). Enjin wishes he had more time to learn two more things though: why the cards never favour him, only his opposition, and address, because once the bar was closed down and destroyed he never knew where to find his companion ever again.

He's good at hiding it, but Semiu noticed his listlessness on nights like these anyway. It's been months and for all the new bars and places Enjin has looked for, for a new place to while his time away, for somebody he used to know, he's never had much luck. He's taken to driving around aimlessly instead. Or walking polluted zones.

Speaking of which, some asshole was hogging up the road, parking there like they owned the place. Damn.

With a groan and a slap of the car horn, Enjin slams the door shut and stomps out. He's in no mood for it but he's about to give the shithead a piece of his mind. What kind of driver stops in the middle of nowhere like that?

He can just about make a silhouette squatting beside the front tyre. They look rather frustrated. Or not. Enjin can't tell, not when they're cupping their hand over a flame and over their mouth to light the cigarette lolling around.

“Hey, do you mind moving and taking your smoke break some place else?!”Enjin called out irritably.

“My tyre's busted, smart ass, so unless - oh. Oh. No way.” Standing up, the figure jogged over to him. “Enjin? That you?”

“What the…”

He's shaking his head disbelievingly, a fumbling grin unfurling on his face. Enjin reached out to touch, wondering if he's just putting faces to shadows and strangers. “Oh my god. It *is* you. Where the hell have you been?”

“Around. Where have *you* been? Been looking everywhere, all over the place, even that shady ass bar downtown.”

“So was I!…are you sure you're real?”

“Of course I am, why wouldn't I be?” A snort. “Tell you what, fix my tyre and I'll buy you drinks?”

Everyone wants to know what's got Enjin staggering in the next morning smiling like an idiot. Somebody that he used to know, Semiu replied.

ZANKA:

“Nijik, you’re so cool and talented and great at all this, you must be some kind of genius for sure!”

“Hmph, not really.”

He’s pleased, though, and he’s glad he’s facing away to hide his (unhinged) smile. Praise is praise, and while this certain shadow of his was always complimenting everybody for something or another, you knew it was an honest, genuine statement. Zanka’s got to be special, right, since he’s been chosen to be the much envied role of best friend? He pretends he just got used to the “annoying stalker” after a while to the rest of the world.

“Child prodigy, then!”

“Hah, sure.” They were taking a break from training - once again he was the best, nothing less than everyone expected - and he passed over a bottle. “Whatever you want.”

“You really are, you know. I wish I was just as good as you, but I’m not even halfway there yet. Not even a measly quarter. Guess I’m just meant to be an average Joe for life.” A self deprecating, sheepish laugh. “Or a scuzzball, like you say.”

“You’ll get there. Eventually, somehow. Probably.” Zanka shuffled his feet awkwardly. He’s not entirely used to this whole friendship thingy. “Quarter of me, I mean. You’re better than most of this lot anyway.”

“Did the great Nijik just acknowledge me? I can die happy now!”

The smile is less unhinged this time. “Shut up.”

Then Hyo came along and wrecked everything he ever thought he was. Stupid stick, stupid arrogance, stupid him. They don’t hang out anymore. Zanka closes his eyes when he sees somebody chasing after him, calling out a greeting. He could take it if the praise was about Hyo now. He couldn’t if the closest person to him started seeing him for the loser that he was.

When he finally leaves the Hell Guard for the Cleaners he makes no attempt to reach out again. They’re both too far gone and be honest, would you have stuck around after the way he behaved? Zanka still feels like a jerk though. You’ve already been a disappointment, no need to stick around and see it and make it worse, he thinks. A fake genius, now a Giver. They say to never meet your heroes.

(He still feels like a jerk. Not even a goodbye.)

Zanka wonders sometimes what he’d say if they ever met again. Sorry didn’t quite cover things. Explaining his reasoning sounded too excuse-y and long and draggy and messy. It didn’t matter anymore was just plain cruel. Easier to imagine they’d never meet again. That’s not really how this world works though.

It’s so coincidental, way too coincidental, that they should, in fact, meet again, at the very moment when Zanka is wandering around and thinking about what he’d say. Scouting an area for a Trash Beast, no less. He’s forgotten who’s from around here; Zanka has no one to blame when he comes face to face with -

“Nijik?” Wide eyes. The Cleaner uniform, lovely assistaff. “Wow.”

“Who?” Zanka can’t think whether to deny being Nijik or deny knowing who was talking to him. He settles for the middle ground. “Excuse me, I need to make sure the Trash Beast are really gone.”

“Nijik, you don’t remember?” Not even the slightest bit mad. Zanka feels a rising panic, guilt, shame, the whole shtick. A name, one he won’t ever forget. “You’re a Cleaner, and you - you did all this? You killed the Beast? You’re even cooler than before now!”

Once, someone had made a joke about Zanka’s “adoring puppy dog, wanting a walk with its master”. Zanka made it a point to go out of his way to make his day horrible later on. His shoulders finally relaxed. It’s a scenario he’s never considered before, but not one that’s unwelcome. The praise was as honest, as genuine before. Only he’s changed.

“Yeah, that’s me.” He glances back. “And of course I remember you.”

“You really are a genius.” Pure admiration that has him smiling self-consciously.

“No. Just an average Joe.”

FOLLO:

The other two had long gone, but Follo still waited around in the cold, underneath the makeshift shelter, shivering and rubbing his arms. He didn't have to wait, he knew, and the other two had said so (some parents were a lot more paranoid about the snow than the rest), but he was sure. He liked it best when it was just the two of them.

Not quite right. More like…well. Just the one where Follo didn't have a nagging feeling of doubt at the back of his head. He knew she only talked to him because she wanted to talk about him.

Plodding footsteps has his head snapping up. Someone thickly bundled against the snow pattered up to him, looking distinctly out of a normal kid's body shape with the oversized jacket and boots and who knows what else a protective mom stuffed her kid into to guard against this toxic world.

Follo’s eyes crinkled up; he stretched a hand out.“Hey, you came.”

“Sorry, my mom was freaking out about me getting radiation or whatever. Where's the rest?”

“Er, they left already.”He patted the ground next to him and mentions the snow eating incident.

“Well, if he dies we know why.”Head tilt, curious blinking - cute, Follo thinks, before he hastily glances away. “What are you still doing here then?”

“Waiting for you. You said you'd show, and I know you would, even if you're late all the time.”

“True, true. Late, I mean. Heh.”

Comfortable pause.

“What if the snow soaks into our clothes and we get intoxicated because we're sitting down?”

“I don't think that means what you think it means,” Follo said instead. “Oh well, I guess. There's a million other ways to die even without the snow.”

“You’re right, it's gonna soak into our shoes anyway.”

They play rock paper scissors for a couple rounds. A certain somebody wanted to make a snowball but chickened out and the other had to finish and throw it with a sigh.

“You're my best friend, you know that? Don't tell the others.”

You're the one who likes me for me and I hope that never changes. “I know.”

Of course the seasons changed, years changed, Follo himself changed, whatever the promises two kids make to each other. He's only got a vague idea of the new address, an educated guess on what that formerly baby-chubby cheeked face looked like now, because *reasons*. Sometimes he'll get a start when he sees a familiar form in the crowds, a little nostalgia when the snow comes back, but that was it.

The one who liked him for him never changed though, although there were others now. If they met, he wants to know. Am I as cool as him now?

Cool enough to make a good impression to the new Supporter, he hopes. Gris nudged him forward. “Hi, I'm Follo-”

“Tunito.”

“…yes…?” He looks up, really looks up, this time. That old scarf, bundled up until the neck, although not as thickly as it was when they were-

“How did you-”His eyes widen; a name falls out of Follo's mouth.

“Heh, you do remember. Sorry I'm late.”

“I knew you would.”Follo’s hand looks for the hammer instinctively.

A laugh that means you're older, you've changed, are you the same as before? “Do you still work out to impress girls?”

“Yeah.”

Follo smiles self consciously, a little sheepishly, but only someone he used to know would spot that.

[bookaddict24-7]

(New Young Adult Releases Coming Out Today! (September 3rd, 2024)

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Have I missed any new Young Adult releases? Have you added any of these books to your TBR? Let me know!

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New Releases:

Immortal Dark by Tigest Girma

The Monstrous Kind by Lydia Gregovic

When Haru Was Here by Dustin Thao

Compound Fracture by Andrew Joseph White

Second Chance On Earth by Juan Vidal

The Ghost of You by Michael Gray Bulla

Guava & Grudges by Alexis Castellanos

The Loss of the Burying Ground by J. Anderson Coats

Luminous Beings by David Arnold & José Pimienta (illustrator)

Girlmode by Magdalene Visaggio & Paulina Ganucheau (Illustrator)

Fairy Godmother by Jen Calonita

Us in Ruins by Rachel Moore

Please Be My Star by Victoria Grace Elliott

The Dagger & the Flame by Catherine Doyle

Songlight by Moira Buffini

Mismatched by Anne Camlin

Welcome to Fear City by Sarah Dvojack

This Book Kills by Ravena Guron

Repeat After Me by Jessica Warman

I'm Not Really Here by Gary Lonesborough

A Wreck of Seabirds by Karleah Olson

New Sequels:

Celestial Monsters (The Sunbearer Duology #2) by Aiden Thomas

Shadows of Perl (House of Marionne #2) by J. Elle

Rebel Fire (Rebel Skies #2) by Ann Sei Lin

The Mongol Ascension (A Jump in Time #3) by Andrew Varga

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Happy reading!

[nerdieforpedro]

Cigarettes and Guava

Javier Peña x Mia (plus size OFC)

Fanfiction 18+

Javier Peña Masterlist / Main Masterlist / A03 Link

Summary: Mia is tired of working the last two New Year's Eve holidays. Since she's here for a third and encounters a familiar scent, she decided to try something out in the office.

Word Count: approx 2.7k

Warnings: toxic work environment from management, masturbation, Javier Peña's lips, Javier hands (Nerdie is noticing a trend), teasing, edging, voice kink (maybe), cum eating (might be turning into a staple), every so slight begging

Notes: So I finished my pickle submission and thought about Javier some more because thots and wondered, did we see this man put anything in his mouth besides cigarettes, whiskey and pussy (maybe we didn't see that one, but my head cannon remains the same)?

No, and I know he likely hates pickles. But might be interested in a fruit that resembles something else pink and fleshy. Maybe. Thus we have this fic, not beta-ed, just out here raw.

Mia sits at her desk again on another New Year’s eve. It had been the same in the previous two years. She was told that because she has the least seniority, she'll have the graveyard shift in the consulate. 

“It’s fine. I have to pay my due, I guess.”

But she has told herself this in previous years when she didn’t have plans.

This year was different, she’d actually had plans and even went as far to request the day off and put up as a suggestion that there be a rotation for working different holidays. Most workplaces that required holidays had rotations so why was the consulate so different? Maybe it wasn’t just the consulate.

Mia had maybe rebuffed one of the manager’s invites of drinks after work one too many times a few years ago. And maybe she saw him speaking with her boss. And it was maybe then she started working New Year’s eve. Who keeps a grudge that long? And sir, there are many other women here. 

Sitting in her office, shuffling papers, staring at her office phone that in previous years she’s never had to answer because even people seeing asylum and wanting to talk to ambassadors apparently wait until after January first so she truly is the only one here. She rose to make a short bathroom trip, which on her way back, a scent caught her nose: cigarettes, musk, a little sweat topped off with…guava? It made her giggle as she stepped back into her office and plopped down, removing her light blue buttoned down shirt that had been tucked in, off her skirt  and opened her legs a bit, feeling the cool air touch her inner thighs finally. It felt so good to just loosen her clothes a bit. The dress code always called for business casual and everything to be tucked in. Mia would feel better about it if she didn’t have a stomach that was both large and she had to pull her shirt up over the lower portion of her belly. It took quite a bit of readjusting in the morning and throughout the day to ensure that her shirts didn’t bunch, making her stomach that much more noticeable. She got up, turned off the light and returned to her seat.

Her cool hands ran over the tops of her warm thighs as she continued to inhale the faint scent, she recalled who it belonged to - one Javier Peña. Her date tonight would have been with another man, one who was willing to treat her to dinner and possibly more. Well, Mia definitely would have been up for more, it had been a few months. The holidays where everyone seemed to have coupled off already and she was taking on more responsibility as those same people suddenly couldn’t work late or arrived late. 

Mia stood, huffing with her hands on her hips, it was an hour until the New Year according to the program on the radio. “Why the hell not? Seems like this is the only way I’m getting any action is if I make my own.” She used her thumbs to raise her skirt and loop around the waistband of her panties, pulling them down and placing them on her desk, she then sat back down and thought for a moment. She was really going to do this in the office? She’s the only one here so it should be fine.

The scent and all its memories had set her body ablaze. Speaking to Javier after he’s just come back inside from what his assistant calls ‘a breather’ which translated to a smoke break for him. He always puts his hands on his hips and moves his jacket away from his torso to reveal that waist of his as he assigned tasks and greeted the staff, her included. The lingering scent of the tobacco would waft from his body as he spoke combined with his baritone voice. The first time she spoke to him after he came back in, she felt quite damp afterward, embarrassed that he hadn’t touched her at all to enable her body’s reaction. Her hands slowly rose up her thighs toward her core and Mia found that she didn’t even need to lick her fingers this time before spreading her folds and slipping a finger inside. “Fuck Javi…ah!” She gasped at the sensation and lifted her left leg to set it atop the table for better leverage. With the slow pumps of her fingers beginning she reached up and pinched one of her nipples, letting herself be as loud as she wanted.

Guava had her recall when she arrived in her office last week and saw Peña eating one of the fruits off of her desk. A coworker said that she’d drop them off for her and she did, Mia was grateful that she did. The light pink juice at the corner of his mouth as she heard him slurp the fleshy rose coloured fruit. She stood in the doorway until he turned to acknowledge her with a smirk. “Buenos dias hermosa dama (Good morning pretty lady)? You’re Mia correct?” He asked, popping his tongue after licking a bit of the pink pulp off his top lip. There was a slight sheen on the tip of his nose and mustache. Mia leaned against the doorway and crossed her legs.

“I am Agent Peña, how can I help you?” His brows furrowed and she gasped lightly. “Sorry, Javi. How can I help you?” Peña gave a chuckle and gave the fruit another bite, ensuring that he licked both lips slowly this time. Mia cleared her throat and made the short trek to her desk, nearly tripping over her heels. 

“Close call there. There’s no rush. It’s first thing in the morning. Though you will need to take anything you normally use for work.” The confused look on her face must have been quite something because he tossed the empty husk of guava in the trash bin and put both of his large hands on his hips. It had Mia sitting up straight. “So you’re going to be filling in for my secretary this week. She took a trip, I don’t remember approving it, but I could have so it’s fine. Who knows, you might do a better job than her.” He gave her a head nod and she stood to follow wordlessly, scooping the fruits into her purse. It was a routine week, answering calls, setting appointments, filing. Nothing she hadn't done before, though she didn’t think Javier would be in office that much. Though it allowed her to hear more of his voice, take in more of his scent and even see him eat another few fruits. She suspected he may be teasing her by the exaggerated way he was consuming them, but she'll be back at her desk next week. The fantasy is fine, right?

Mia inserts another finger as she starts to buck her hips, calling Javier’s name. By this point, she has a light sheen of sweat on her skin and she managed to unbutton her top three buttons to fish one of her breasts out of her bra. Her voice became more ragged and higher pitched to match the frenzied squelches of her core.

A voice rang out, “Mi princesa (Princesa)? Busy tonight I see hermosa.” The light in her office flipped on.

The woman’s body froze and she nearly slipped out of her chair, turning her head toward the door. Javier Peña was walking toward her and placed his palms on the desk, his fingers strumming her underwear and observing the slick coating them. The look of embarrassment and fear on Mia’s face had Peña shake his head and he spoke again. “That’s my nickname for you since you kept giving fruit to me and enjoyed watching me eat. I don’t think you ever offered me what you really wanted.” He leaned toward her as she swallowed despite her mouth being curiously dry at the moment. “Keep going. Don’t stop on my account. I’m here to watch, after all, you called me.” Closing her eyes eyes for a moment, she re-opened them with little reservation,

“I’m not proud that you caught me, but I’m not going to apologize.” Her finger started moving in and out of her again slowly, feeling herself even more wet than she had been a few minutes ago. “I deserve…ah…to feel good…fuck…” Mia kept eye contact with Javier, his lips twitching at the sight of her continuing in front of him. He hadn’t expected her to be so bold. To him, she’d been more of a ‘yes sir, no sir, thank you sir,’ type but he clearly was wrong. Mia had a fire in her and he’d been damn glad he finally had more of an opportunity to speak to her in more than just passing. Peña had glimpses of that past week, her quips, finishing tasks much quicker than his previous secretary and asking, “Is that all? Any more you need done?” As much as Javier enjoyed women, he had an elevated level of pleasure from competent women - no matter their job or role.

“I know you can do better than that. Weren’t you just calling my name louder Princesa?” Peña teased, his eyes darkening as he bit his bottom lip. He was pressing his palms into the desk, feeling his cock ache. He was dressed casually, and had come into the office to take a quick peek and see if he had left a bottle of whiskey in his office. Javi had finished the ones in his apartment and wanted some for the New Year. He didn’t expect that on the way to his office, he'd hear his name. Not moaned in these walls. Curious, he went to see who it was. His eyes widened and he waited in the doorway, watching her. Mia hadn’t noticed him and was going faster and louder. ‘She sounds close, but I don’t want her to finish yet. No one should come quickly to my name unless I want them to.’ That’s when he walked in and surprised her and why he was watching her short fingers work to try and bring her to a peak. He made sure to pat his back pocket though, making sure he had a condom with him.

Javier walked behind the desk and set his head on Mia’s, making her eyes open as she didn't see him in front of her any more. “Hermosa, let’s switch, give me your hand.” It wasn’t a suggestion or command, he just pulled on her hand that was in her core out of her and snaked one of his hands around her waist, patting her belly before reaching down to squeeze her thigh. “Let me smell you, princesa.” Her slick fingers glossed his lips before he kissed her palm, letting her fingers graze his nose. “Tienes un olor divino (You smell divine).” Javier used his tongue to make a wet path back to her fingers and placed them in his mouth, hollowing out his cheeks on them, pulling at the skin. The sounds he was able to pull from Mia changed immediately from whines that she had done by herself to low growls as soon as he began using his tongue. Her walls were clenching around nothing with her chair now soaked with arousal. Without warning, he slipped a finger into her cunt, stretching her slightly. 

Peña heard her gasp and then curse, his grin felt on her fingers as he removed them from his mouth, “Been a little while has it princesa? All work and no play is no good for you.” He bit her earlobe, licking the bite and then nibbling on her lobe. His thick digit began to tease her walls, pressing into them as they squeezed. “Let me open you up some Mia.” he added a second finger and began to drag them back and forth inside of her, making her hips buckle. Peña dropped her hand and used his now free one to put her other leg on the desk while remaining behind the chair to keep her from sliding back as she humped his fingers. 

“Dammit Javi! Faster! I need more, g-give me…shit, more..” Mia continued to groan, reaching back to take a handful of Javier’s hair. Her head was tilted back on his shoulder, Peña’s lips scoured her exposed neck, nipping at her skin and bit into the sot flesh of her rounded shoulder. He felt her core pulling on his fingers trying to keep them inside, just one more push. 

“Scream for me princesa, say my name.” Javier cooed in her ear, he blew air into her ear before kissing her cheek. Her hips were grinding on his fingers, he knew what to do, he was just taking his time, milking her moans. 

“Make me…make me come Javier, please…” She whined, turning her head to look at him, her hips making erratic circles.

“You know what to call me princesa.” Peña cracked a smile as he heard her hiss. His lips once again toying with her neck. Soft kisses planted over the bite marks. 

“Fuck it all to hell Javi just let me-” Mia screamed in frustration at the agent, he gave her one more bite before having his lips claim her ear again. 

“As you wish cariño (dear)” Javier’s thumb grazed her sensitive bundle of nerves before circling it, Mia cried out for Javi as her cunt quivered from his fingers, spreading her slick over his hand and her chair. The little whimpers she unleashed had Javi give her a small smile as he pulled his fingers from her. He sucked her nectar off and kissed her lips so she could taste herself. It wasn’t hungry, instead a slow deliberate kiss. When he parted from her he decided, “Smell and taste better than guava Estas deliciosa (You’re delicious).”

Mia gazed up at Javier with glossy eyes as her chest heaved. She moved her legs off the desk and slid back into the chair, able to relieve some of the strain on her back. “Gracias (Thanks) Javi. Estas mintiendo (You’re lying). Go about your New Year’s celebration. I still have to finish up here…somehow.” Javier leaned against the desk, watching as Mia was adjusting her shirt and bra back, she didn’t tuck in back in though. “You don’t need to watch. I’m fine. I’ll get up when I’m ready” Or able, that was only with two fingers and his mouth. Damn. She was buttoning the top of her shirt when his hand cupped her face and had it face toward him. 

“I’m just watching you like to watch me, even before last week. Turnabout is fair play.” Planting a kiss on her forehead, he touched his nose to hers. “Come to my place with me. I’d prefer you come tonight, but if you have other plans…”

“You’re aware I don’t have other plans, otherwise I wouldn’t have been here.”

“So do something else not planned, namely me.”

Mia giggled and placed her hand on his thigh, feeling him pulse next to her hand, his bulge was moist under his jeans. “That so? Why not here?”

“I could, but we might want to be a bit kinder to your back considering what I plan on doing to it princesa, besides,” Javier slipped an arm around Mia and stood her up, having her lean on him as she wobbled a bit, “I may want to eat some guava with you instead of for you tomorrow morning.” Mia laughed and pecked Javier’s lips as he spun her around, taking the opportunity to grab her panties and slip them in his back pocket. 

The radio explained that it was already ten after midnight. “Well princesa, you started the year off on a high note and with my name rolling off your lips no less.”

“You can’t just say Happy New year like a normal person? Geez…Happy New Year Javi.” Peña had picked up her purse and was walking Mia down the hallway, his bottle of whiskey forgotten.

“I could, but would you have wanted me to Mia? Just ‘Happy New Year’ instead of my fingers? No you wouldn’t.”

“You’re right and I’m not mad about it.”

As they left the office, their banter continued and they hopped in Peña's car and drove to his apartment, a little fast for Mia’s taste but that didn’t matter as much as what they planned to do when they got there.

Admirers of Javi's pouty lips 👄: @morallyinept @fhatbhabie @covetyou @pedritapascal @pascalsanctuary @nissaimmortal @grogusmum @theywhowriteandknowthings @beefrobeefcal @goodwithcheese @iamasaddie @movievillainess721 @megamindsecretlair @pamasaur @joelslegalwhre @pedrodascal @trulybetty @perotovar @chronically-ghosted @josephquinnswhore @mandoisapunk @secretelephanttattoo @for-a-longlongtime @dameron-grant-spector @legendary-pink-dot @sp00kymulderr @intoanotherworld23 @linzels-blog @guelyury @laurfilijames @missladym1981 @pedroshotwifey @alltheglitterandtheroar @din-djarins-riduur @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin @rhoorl @yorksgirl @maggiemayhemnj @saturn-rings-writes @gwendibleywrites @angelofsmalldeath-codeine @undercoverpena @musings-of-a-rose @soft-persephone @javierpena-inatacvest @mysterious-moonstruck-musings @pedritapascal @magpiepills @handspunyarns @frenchiereading

(I may do a follow up to this one as more writing practice for Javier Peña. I haven't quite figured him out yet.)

[aesylem]

Melissa's Journey and Experiences in Her Childhood days.

Once upon a time the 3rd of princess of the family was born. We're living in a happy house. We always go to church together. And you know what, I feel happy when the lights went out because my dad will bring a many food. But circumstances came, our happy family became broken. My dad decided to go to other place to work so that he can support us financially. And one day my mom told us that we're going to Bohol just to visit my grandmother or just for vacation. But I just found out that my mother decided that we will living in Bohol for good. And I met my grandmother, grandfather and many cousins there. I started my primary school there and I did so much fun. I made so much friend and I did well to my studies (because I want my parents to be proud of me) but guess what they didn't attend any recognition day. But I didn't hold grudges or I just didn't think that much because my grandmother and grandfather are always there for me and I'm contented with their happy faces if I have an award to bring to our home. I grow up not feeling that I am lacking because my grandparents didn't let me feel that I am not enough. I enjoyed my childhood because of my cousins. If we are bored at the moment, they'll just say that wo would go swimming

or pick some fruits. I experienced harvesting rice, kepping our garden that full of vegetables and fruits, catching fish in the morning, catching crabs and frogs in the evening. Raise a pig, chickens, cow and carabao. My lolo always bring guava from the hill for me; he would say "pakuhaa sa ninyo si Melissa". I experienced also wash clothes in the stream and look for woods so that we will have firewood. Playing some games after school until evening.

My elementary days would be always my favorite part of my life. No just it's the happiest but I guess it's the most peaceful part of my life. If I were given a chance, I would always go back to my childhood we're my smiles are not fake, were I didn't not feel so much preasure if my life is going where it should be. Just by thinking today that I always cry, I want to go back to the days that I didn't think about the future.

[cocoawithbooks]

Review: Guava and Grudges by Alexis Castellanos

Buy on Bookshop If you like the star-crossed lovers trope with a side of buñuelos, then definitely check out Guava and Grudges by Alexis Castellanos. It’s a cute foodie-centered YA romance between two teens from rival Cuban family bakeries.  When an out of town cousin of the Morales family, the rival family to Ana Maria’s Ybarra family, moves in, Ana Maria realizes that he is the same boy she…

[hyunewrlds]

i know nobody cares so here goes nothing i just need to rant about this guy i've been talking to... cause why is he perfect in every single way! he's only done one single move that 'gave me the ick' but honestly knowing this guy... i can't ever hold any grudge against him because of how beautifully he treats me 99.9% of the time. like. he's always silly with me. he always makes jokes with me despite 'the gang' aka his friends thinking they're cringe. he's always so loving and always SO ready to make sure i know he appreciates me and he does it in SO many ways. he's so verbal about it and he does NOT hesitate to immediately make sure i feel loved if i ever remotely show that i may feel otherwise. it's the way he talks to me that says it all he's so full of love he's such a beautiful man i want to love him properly and run my fingers through his hair and tell him how much i love him and that everything's going to be okay and that everything has been okay for me because of him like he actually has my heart and he occupies my thoughts all the time and i mean it in the best way possible. like i don't even want anything from him i just want us to have an ongoing conversation. i just want him to be comfortable in my presence and tell me everything that goes through his head i want to know all of his thoughts i want to know what he thinks of everything. you saw some concrete today baby? tell me about it! what do you think of the colour red? what do you think of jellyfish? do you like tea? what about open-ended movies? what about highlighters? you like maths? what about guava? like tell me all of it. all of you. all of the details you deemed unnecessary all of the details you think nobody else wants to hear everything you think is too mundane to be mentioned. tell me all about it. i want to hear i want to know. he's the pinnacle of my happiness and i mean it. like the absolute most amazing guy. an incident happened today where he said something and then automatically went 'what's the problem' 'i want to know if it's making you uncomfortable' oh my GOD thanks a lot for realising it could make me uncomfortable and for directly asking thanks a lot for realising i have boundaries thanks a lot for realising i might want to draw some red lines and thanks a lot for actively trying to draw those red lines as well so you wouldn't make me 'uncomfortable' although that's something i don't ever think i'll feel with you! i don't know how else to explain how much i love him and in that i mean i want to love him every single part of him every single part he likes and hates and knows and doesn't know i want to love all of it all of him i want him to know he's so loved it's impossible to contain all the love in the small vessel i call my heart so it spills and overflows and i gladly embrace it. all of it. and i'll gladly add onto it. cause with you everything seems lighter everything seems fine everything seems okay even if you don't know what to talk about but still keep a conversation because ' i just enjoy talking to you and i don't want to stop' thank you thank you thank you you're making it all worth it you're not making me regret the times i decided to open up cause i was scared we're falling apart thank you for always being so gentle and understanding and immediately owning up everytime i told you something upset me thank you for being the perfect man that i'll do anything to have even though it's so tough for us to even form a possibility we could just be. that we could ever exist. and i'll still love you forever either way. i'll still love the way you say my name and talk to me and the way you laugh with everything you've got your little chuckles and giggles the way you get so excited over little things the way you love so fully so deeply so perfectly. i love you so much beautiful boy i love you so much

[sugarstock]

all the fruity asks (I'm genuinely curious)

Oh god ALL OF THEM??

Aight bet. I promise I'm not that interesting tho LOL

mango: what makes you smile?: My friends :3

kiwi: how do you act when you first meet people?: I'm extremely shy and don't talk unless spoken to lol

strawberry: do you believe in love at first sight?: Yes, 100%

plum: what is your favorite holiday?: Christmas!! :D ☃️

blueberry: what’s your favorite childhood memory?: Uhmmm uhhh uhmmujmhhuhmmm unmnmmm

guava: what do you like most about vacations?: Being able to relax of course!

grapefruit: do you hold grudges?: No, not really

banana: are you a sensitive person?: YES

pear: do you like the way you look?: I think I look decent. 6/10🤷‍♀️

apple: are you good at/do you like school?: No and no lol

cantaloupe: are you a morning person or a night owl (or both!)? Night owl!

orange: are you a funny person?: I'd like to think so, yes!

cranberry: do you have a close family?: On my mom's side we're all very close, but I don't get to see my dad's side of the family very often

cherry: what are you passionate about?: Music!

grape: what quality do you most like in other people?: Empathy lmfao

raspberry: how do you express affection?: Mostly through words, I'm not a very physically affectionate person

blackberry: what’s your favorite book?: I don't read that much so I don't really know,,,,

papaya: what’s your favorite snack?: SMARTFOOD WHITE CHEDDAR POPCORN.

avocado: what is something nobody knows about you?: I legitimately have no idea. I feel like I'm too open about things.

pineapple: what’s your favorite television show?: Oh god uhhhhh....in terms of nostalgia it would be Teen Titans. If we're talking about my CURRENT fav it would have to be Better Call Saul!

coconut: what is your favorite type of weather?: Rainy! (Even tho it gives me a headache and makes me wanna [REDACTED]

dragonfruit: have you ever been to another country?: Nah

durian: is there something that you just absolutely detest?: People mumbling or muttering under their breath. Idk why but it ignites this primal rage inside of me.

peach: do you like physical affection?: I don't mind it

watermelon: is there one part of yourself you wish weren’t there?: My double chin

lemon: how do you react if someone hurts you?: Cry and then forget about it in 48 hours

fig: what’s something you like to the point of hating it?: Drawing LOL

kumquat: what type of music do you like?: Pop/Rock/Metal/Rap/Literally anything

[anaclarachavez]

Things I did when I was a child

I keep thinking about my childhood lately. Some of the work I do in therapy requires me to go back to those days and really pay attention. I feel like Murnau's Faust (a much less darker version, of course): hovering over my old schools, trying to listen to my childhood conversations with friends, amazed at how light and cheery I remember life being. Would it be safe to say that I won't ever be as unafraid as I was when I was a child? I think it would. And I'm ok with that. But every once in a while –when I'm not sure who I am– "I wish I were a girl again, half savage and hardy, and free", as did Catherine Earnshaw when she yearned for the untamable spirit of the Yorkshire moors.

***   

I thought it best to put these adventures and amazements in words, in case my memory once fails and I truly don't remember who I am: - I loved Maleficent. One Halloween I dressed up as her for a school show. I didn't have time to change my shoes, so I very proudly sported my black outfit and make up with white girly shoes. I was LIVING. Whenever I see the photo I feel my true nature shining through.

- I used very weird words for a small human. Like the time I called my kindergarten classmates "abúlicos". To this day, I’m not even sure I know what that means.

- My mom had a go-to fruit lady near our house. And whenever I made an appearance, she would give a guayaba (guava is not a good word). This went on for many years. Some time ago, I went back there for... reasons... and the lady recognized me and, true to form, gave me said fruit. It felt like a gift to the Anaclara of the past.

- I used to do cartwheels anywhere and everywhere large enough to fit an over enthusiastic seven year old.

- I had this beautiful Russian friend named Polina, and we lived nearby so I hung out at her place sometimes. We made up a dance to “I Want to Hold Your Hand” by The Beatles. I thought we were so cool, but for some reason, maybe her Russian demeanor, she didn’t seem like a very happy kid to me. Never saw her again.

- I adored drawing. The joy of drawing felt like very few.

- I thought about having a career as a bird-watcher. - When I moved to England we sometimes took a shortcut to my mother's University. And it was muddy. Real muddy. Unaccustomed to the realities of British weather, I thought such mess to be the funnest time of all. Sometimes I would wear some plastic bags over my boots to avoid childish disasters, and I was even more amused by this. - My dear, dear mom let me dress up however I saw (un)fit. So I wore a spice girls crop-top, some glittery hairbands, a cow print vest and, of course, black mini-skirts over trousers.  - I danced. I danced every minute of every day. - My lovely teacher Mrs. Thompson thought I was very creative but "too chatty." An accurate assessment if I’ve ever heard one. - I used to play a hand clapping game with my friends. We once made up some lyrics and choreography. It started like so: "I met a girl in Sweden, called eye-shoe-Shalyla. All the boys in the football field said 'I love eye-shoe-Shylyla’"  - I earned a badge for winning three chess games in a row in our junior school chess club. Anya Taylor... who? - Music classes were the best. We sang "Morning Has Broken" by Cat Stevens. And a song about socks: "Black socks, they never get dirty, the longer you wear them the stronger they get..." - I got a kick out of beating boys at running fast. But I never had very close friends who were boys. They didn’t seem as appealing and fun as the girls.  - I had a purple bike that made some sort of odd sound when it rolled too fast. I thought it was unique and my parents could always tell when I was arriving home because of it. I rode it to see my friends. I made so many friends and so easily. No self-consciousness, no weird insecurities, just pure eagerness. - I loved to sun bathe. I very frequently over did it and suffered the burning consequences of feeling invincible. But those tans though. - Bonfires. Bonfires were magical.

- I vividly remember where I was the first time I saw a mobile phone in action: it was 1999 and I was in a double decker in London. One person suddenly “rang”...and a few seconds later we could hear the other guy chatting with him downstairs. It was equal parts ridiculous and amazing. - Me and my mom would walk down to a market near my house and buy some cheese empanadas that I have since idealized as the perfect empanada.

- I had a bright orange goldfish who I named “mi amigo.” How cute is that? I also had a pair of ducklings who followed me everywhere.  - I was constantly braiding the girls' hair in class. I found it relaxing and wasn't really aware I was shamelessly turning the classroom into a hair salon. - One of my first childish grudges was against the man who drove the ice-cream truck: I once gathered my pennies and asked for some very specific sweets. The small paper bag of these gummies cost fifty pence, and I when I got back in the house and opened it, they were not the sweets I had asked for. Such betrayal. It felt infuriating. I didn’t buy anything for weeks, until my mom convinced me to forgive the poor distracted man. 

- Whenever my family and I travelled to a foreign place, I was mesmerized by my father’s ability to know where we were going, how to pay, where to stay, how to find the way if we got lost. This, I think, gave me the confidence to be alone anywhere in the world and (try to) find a way. 

- Arriving to Antwerp remains one of my favorite memories in life. I couldn’t (can’t) get over how magical it was. I was tired, so tired, because we walked for what seemed like forever, but I still couldn’t sleep that night because I was so excited to be in a city that felt like a fairytale. Who knew what we were going to encounter the next day? (tourists, mainly). 

- I spent my 9th birthday in Barcelona but against everyone’s wishes I decided to stay in my cousin’s house and play The Sims all day. 

- My aunt lived in a very large house with doors everywhere. One door led to a small room, a corridor almost, which was preserved as such because it had beautiful original wood framing. My aunt collected witches and they all lived in there. One of them had a sensor that made her laugh whenever someone walked by. I was terrified of walking through that dark room, sometimes I even crawled so the witch “didn’t see me.” And now I love witches. 

- I once decided lamps were very boring and that I was going to decorate  random lamps and make them fun. And I did. A couple of them are still lying around, looking worse than they ever did in the first place.

- The best part of dancing in the Nutcracker as a little girl, was that we got to buy new dolls for the show. And styled our hairs with shiny voluminous Shirley Temple curls. 

- During Nutcracker season my friends and I used to tell horror stories backstage. A popular one was that the human sized nativity figures which were stored in the theatre’s warehouse were in fact haunted. Legend had it, a girl  once went in there and saw their eyes move from one side to another. 

***

It is hard to pinpoint when you cease to be a girl. The best I can come up with is this: my joyful childhood was over when I started looking at these as memories rather than possibilities. 

I don’t feel like a child anymore (at least not everyday) but I definitely don’t feel like a grown-up either. Most of the time I feel like a strange kind of grown up, but I find so much charm and peace in honoring my child self. I know that my Maleficent-costumed-persona is very proud of this lack of staidness, and whatever I do, I’m always secretly hoping I don’t betray her.