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sungjinhos · 2 years ago

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TRACK N02. KAMIKAZE - CHOI SEUNGCHEOL

I love the beginnin', the moonlight is callin' I know we'll go up, but we'll end up freefallin' You mind if I need to come kamikaze, crash into your way?

✷ wordcount: 7.734 ✷ genre: angst, break-up, smut

✷ This work is a part of "The Loviest Time Universe" - A collection of stories inspired by Carly Rae Jepsen's album

✷ Thea's note: hi everyone this is finally out - the first installment of the loveliest time, hehe. But first let me say a few thank yous. To @ssinboo for giving this a read since the first draft and enduring my thoughts on Discord 24/7. A thank you to @dalamjisung for reading this when i thought this was too sad and nobody would read this. And a special thanks to @toruro mika you are the kindest, thank you for reassuring me when I thought this sucked and was too depressing <3 , and for beta-reading ♥ I hope you all enjoy this (even if it hurts) also seungcheol-enjoyers i am very very sorry. Kkuma 2nd appearance.

I saw you in the deep end A shipwreck underwater And I know I shouldn't want that

Loving Seungcheol was not an easy task, and you learned it in the hardest way possible.

Loving Seungcheol seemed easy. He crashed into your life - loudly, fast. Often, you thought about it like a car crash in a movie scene - the part when everything gets upside down, and even the glass pieces flying around look kinda magical.

But you guess, after a while, the movie scene was just a little bit too loud and possibly a security hazard for everyone involved.

A part of you really wanted to give your all, to sacrifice, to just give a little bit more of yourself to make it work, but lately, you have been so fucking tired and so alone that you don’t even have the strength to try anymore.

You loved everything about Seungcheol, you loved his laugh, you loved the way that Seungcheol made everyone feel cared for, you loved how he treated you and you loved how he loved you, and knowing all that made everything worse.

But Seungcheol had that power - he made sure to make you fall in love all over again every time he had a chance. And everything would be okay after a few hours in the same space as him, you would feel loved, he would smile, he would embrace you and everything would just feel right.

The problem was that lately, Seungcheol didn't have the time to make you fall in love with him.

If you thought about it, you couldn't even pinpoint the last time you saw Seungcheol. You know he dropped by before going overseas for his tour - four months long tour, for a quick fuck but before that you can't really remember because he was already busy with a comeback and rehearsal.

And you tried your best to keep it cool, and you tried your best to deal with it on your own - Seungcheol was a constant topic in your therapy, and you tried to understand - of course his life is more glamorous than yours, of course he has the chance to go to all those beautiful places you can only see in pictures, of course it was work.

And you tried to bite your tongue and think how much of his life he had to give up in order to be where he is now. And it is his dream, his youth, his life really - so you can't make Seungcheol choose.

You know all that.

And you try to use your brain instead of your heart. But when Seungcheol is in the same country as you, in the same time zone, and still has a problem reaching up, it still has a problem finding more than a 30-minute time slot, you know what you need to do.

You need to let him go.

It is a Monday when Cheol arrives on your doorstep, you let him in and everything seems so normal - the majority of times you two hang out was in your house, not a lot of dating outside, not a lot of going out with your boyfriend enjoying the city.

You tried to brush it off and pretend you didn't care Seungcheol didn't have a normal life, so you two could have brunch on a sunday or a stroll in the nearest mall.

"Hey baby I was thinking of ordering from that chinese restaurant god I am craving the food," Seungcheol says, crashing on your sofa like it is his own house, and it settles on you that it is almost like his second house, a hideaway, every time he had a problem he would just crash on your place. He had the keys, why didn't he open the door? Why were you always doing the job? Letting him in, let him crash into your life? Why couldn't you crash into his and set things on fire? "Baby? Are you listening?" Seungcheol calls, but you know he doesn't really care because his eyes are glued to his phone.

"Cheol I need your attention for a minute," you say, looking at him, trying your best to keep it straight, to not fall on the ground and cry.

"Okay okay just let me answer a few more texts. We are scheduling the next varieties right now so everything is a bit crazy," your boyfriend says, still not paying attention. And you ask yourself - has it always been like that?

Did Seungcheol always come into your life, create havoc, crush everything on his point of view, take everything he could get his hands on and everything you could give him to not give five minutes of his time in return?

"Seungcheol I really need you to put your phone down," you say again and you are so pathetic that you feel the tears rolling down your cheeks, your voice cracking up - and that's what calls Seungcheol's attention, eyes big on surprise.

"Love, are you okay? What happened?" he asks and now that you have his attention, his phone is screen down on your sofa, his eyes on you, you feel all certainty leaving your body because you miss him so much and he looks so tired your heart almost breaks because you feel like to Seungcheol you are just another thing he needs to take care of, to handle, to adjust in his crazy hours.

You feel like you are a plate spinning in the little stick, and you are about to fall down because Seungcheol forgot that he needs to spin you around.

"I'm really sorry, I-" you hiccup, and god you feel so fucking silly.

"Baby what is going on?" Seungcheol's voice is low when he tries to wrap his arms around you, scared when you don't let him do it. "Baby you are worrying me," he says again when he watches you take steps away from him.

"You don't need to worry, everything is fine."

"Clearly everything is not fine, I am back after ages, and my girlfriend is crying in the living room," he says god you wish you could get angry and pick a fight with Seungcheol but you feel so tired, you feel so exhausted.

"I-" you try to start, but you feel your legs buckle and your heartbreak. "I think we should break up."

"What?" Seungcheol because that is the only thing he can say. Seungcheol feels like he is inside a car crash like he is the one getting upside down. He feels so blindsided by your decision, did... Did you find someone when he was away, or did you just fall out of love?

"I think we should break up," you say it again, more to yourself than to him, like you are making up your own mind.

"Can-" Seungcheol paces around, he actually feels his throat close and his tongue feels like sandpaper around the roof of his mouth, he can't even bring himself to actually look at you. But he finally does, seeing you sitting on the floor, back against a wall, hands holding your own hand, elbows on your knee, and you just feel so different. Seungcheol can't actually pinpoint what seems different, but you are, and you look so tired, what the fuck happened, how could he not see this coming? "Can I ask why?"

And you scoff, Seungcheol can see your whole body moving. Everything is so clear to you and so hazed to Seungcheol is like you two are in different directions speaking through a tin can telephone.

"I don't think this is working for me I-" you try to start, trying to dry your tears with the sleeve of your shirt.

"Did you find someone else?" Seungcheol blurts out.

"What?" You ask in actual disbelief, did he-

"Are you in love with someone else?" He says it again and you can wrap your mind around it, what he wants to mean with those silly accusations.

"Thats-"

"That's ok, I can take it, you can be honest with me," Seungcheol says again, trying to brace himself for the impact, preparing himself to hear the eyes falling out of your lips.

"You know what's funny?" You say without a hint of humor in your voice, "You actually prefer that wouldn't you? You would actually prefer the idea of being cheated on, of me being guilty of falling in love with someone else than to acknowledge that may be-" you hiccup, and try to breathe even though you can't do it through your nose, "that may be I am ending things with you because i can't deal with the shit show that is your life anymore, that I can't take being a second option anymore because your life is so fucking good that only someone crazy wouldn't want to share it with you." You pick yourself up, and you feel so angry, you feel so disrespected. You look at him, and god, even though you love him you know Seungcheol can't give you what you want, he can't give you coffee dates, he can't give you holidays, he can't give you the certainty of Valentine's days and birthdays. And even though you love him, even though you gave everything you could, even though you spent months and months on videocalls or just texts, even though you felt so fucking happy when he was by your side even though it meant a delivery and a night in, he is implying that you could cheat on him, like you could find someone like you are not broken enough to think that you could never love someone again like you love him. "Guess what Cheol, you don't share anything. You just take and take until the person doesn't have any more to give you"

And he stays silent like he doesn't have anything to say. Like he is trying to understand the situation, those hazy moments after the crash when you try to make yourself come back to reality.

"I am sorry I am really tired if you could-" you start, walking to your door.

"Do you-" Seungcheol starts and when he looks at you can see the tears around his eyes and you want to take everything back, you want to say you are sorry, you want to say it was just you're feeling lonely but now he is back, now everything is okay, you can deal with going to every working related dinner or party alone and lie when people ask why your boyfriend never comes. "Do you think I could do something different?"

"No," you say voice small, looking everywhere just so you can avoid Cheol's eyes. "I really love you, I love you so fucking much, I just can't deal with your life, I just can't deal with the loneliness that comes when you go MIA between shows because you are tired, I just can't deal with whole weeks gone just because you guys are working on a new album, and I can't deal having a boyfriend only inside the walls of my apartment, it hurts so fucking much Cheol and I just have nothing else to give you." you catch your breath, and you smell his perfume, and everything looks so out of place, how can a heartbreak make you nauseated, make you feel physically ill? "And even though I love you, I wish I could bring myself to ask for it, to make you give me what I want, but I know you and I know I can't ask you for that, and I know you enough to know that if I ask for it maybe I won't get what I want in return because you can't give what I want.

When Seungcheol leaves the only thing you do is cry. Like a child, on your bed, in a fetal position, hiccuping every few minutes. You cry so much that you fall asleep while doing it. In the morning when your alarm goes off, you can feel a headache. You think you will need a lot more than a painkiller. But you pick yourself up, and go to work and you regret it. You regret it when you see a fucking bus with Seungcheol's face plastered on it - his birthday is in three weeks. You regret it when you see it again on the subway, and when you open social media the news around his new album is across it - you think you need to delete every account Seungcheol related.

You also regret when you see Mingyu's name on your phone screen. But when Mingyu calls you for the third time you know something must be wrong.

"Hello?"

"Hey can you- ok guys shut up, hi hmm” He says in a lower voice, “can you tell Seungcheol to hurry up he is a bit late we have scheduled in like 30-ish," He says across the line.

"Hm, Mingyu I really can't do that." You say almost laughing because his friends don’t call you ever, you have Mingyu’s number registered because once Seungcheol had a dead phone and he asked Mingyu to tell you he was arriving late - that’s when Seungcheol still cared you think, after that he just arrived late without telling you his schedule was running late.

"No really like it is a really important schedule."

"Mingyu Seungcheol is not with me right now you should call him-"

"Is he not? I mean he slept with you, right? Did he leave your house already?"

"No, he didn't sleep at my place last night-"

"No?" Mingyu asks and the line is dead silent before you pick yourself up and have the courage to tell you.

"Mingyu we broke up yesterday," You say in the lowest register ever, the last thing you wanted was Karen from the sales department eavesdropping on your conversation and asking if you needed a girl time.

"Why did you break up with him?" He asks and that makes your head spin a little, how did he know?

"Mingyu that's-" you breathe loudly, you want to smash the phone against the nearest surface, but you need patience, and to be honest Mingyu didn’t do anything for you to be rude, yes, you are angry but it is not Mingyu’s fault, "That's really personal I'm sorry"

"Ok, sorry, yeah I overstepped for sure," you can hear the faint voices in the background, "Do you think you know a place he could've gone to?"

"No, I really don't, I am sorry, just" your bite your tongue because you think that’s overstepping too, but you say nonetheless, "Just give me a heads up if you guys find him or if I need to worry ok?"

"Yeah, yeah."

And against everything - your rational mind and your broken heart, you call Seungcheol, because he still comes first, his well-being and state. Even if he is not picking Mingyu's call that stills a part of you that says that you are special enough to him that he may answer your calls. He doesn't. But you don't even have time to worry because Mingyu sends you a message saying that Seungcheol just showed up and he is fine.

And the reality of it crushes you. You are not the person that Seungcheol will pick up when everyone calls him, you are not the exception anymore.

What really hurts is when you think that maybe you never were.

And the feeling makes you so physically ill that when you knock on your chief's door to say you are going back home because you feel unwell and gonna try to work remotely he just says you can take a day off because you are clearly looking like a fucking truck hit you.

The first few days make you wish Seungcheol was right. You cry so much you feel dehydrated and have a non-stop headache. So you wish he was right, you wish you did cheat on him, you wish you ended things because you fell. in love with somebody else.

You don't delete his messages but you do archive the conversation because every time you open the app it is just there and the want to hover it, to go back, to look at it, to have Seungcheol back in your life is so big you ask yourself how can you carry such a burden.

When you reach the 7 days you feel like somehow you can breathe again, now crying only 25% of the time. It's painful how you get back into your routine very quickly, it makes you feel that Seungcheol was not a big part of it. The main thing you do is to just keep your phone away, check less social media - the last time his face popped up and you almost yetted the phone.

On week two you do all the things that you wanted to do with Seungcheol, alone or with other people. You go to the new corner cafe with a book and order a lot of sweet treats. You go to the movies after a day of work because why not. You drive yourself to the beach, and even though it’s not really summer, the weather is nice enough. In a way you think you are a masochist, experiencing all of those things and reminiscing of what could be if Seungcheol was by your side. But every time you come home and your empty place greets you with the memory of Seungcheol and his belongings you think that masochism would be locking yourself up in a place where Seungcheol was most present in your life.

Week three is a living hell. It's Seungcheol's birthday and you catch yourself entering a store just because something nice enough to be his present caught your attention. When you pick up your phone to ask him if he prefers leather or wool the reality crashes into you. It makes your world spin a little, and everything is in slow motion when you go back home.

It doesn't help that you still have a pair of shoes, some shirts, a few pieces of jewelry, and even toiletries that don't belong to you in your own house. You feel stupid when you cry, but you pick everything up and put everything in a box - but you still don't have the strength to contact Seungcheol and say that he needs to pick up his things in order to move on.

I'm just here for the weekend A wordless kind of offer And I'm hoping that you saw that

After a month you stop crying.

Even though you don't keep tabs in a tracker you know every month that passes by, and Seungcheol's box turns into a decorative item by your door.

In a way, everything you know about Seungcheol is stored in the back of your mind, and sometimes it comes back to your conscious mind like an intrusive thought.

To be honest, Seungcheol still pops up daily in your life, his voice plays in the nice book store, his face shows up in the make-up store and now he is the face of your favorite lip balm, he shows up in the tv and again in the subway, he shows up in the news and in your favorite variety show - the first time you don't actually binge watch. You know when Seungcheol is blond and when he is not, you know when his hair is long or shorter. And even if you don't want to, you keep tabs on him.

But in reality, you can deal with it, you can deal with Seungcheol's absence when he doesn't come back to make you fall in love with him.

And it gets easier.

Or you get used to not having Seungcheol in your life, seeing him from afar, or not seeing him at all. After 3 months you think to yourself that for the first time, you feel like a human again. Like your feet are back on the ground. You can walk without crunches for the first time after breaking both legs.

When it hits the six-month mark you think it is okay to remember, it is okay to think about it, it was a milestone after all. When you think about buying a cake for the one-year mark you think that maybe that's not normal.

But maybe that’s the path of healing, the ups, and downs of it, healing is not linear - you think that you saw an Instagram post about it. And you just accept it, you don’t fight anymore about how you remember Seungcheol in the silliest things, when you look at something on the street, or when you start binge-watching a new tv show. But sometimes you also don’t remember him, sometimes you can go a few days without conjuring him in your mind - but you always end up losing the game when you think to yourself how you did not think about him.

'Cause I see you I fall back into the feeling like we've just begun Tell me, ooh Are you tired of being alone? You're not the only one

When you see Seungcheol, two years later, you just laugh and take a sip of your drink. It is really crazy how Seungcheol's absence makes you forget that one of your closest friends knew Seungcheol - he was the reason why you two met in the first place.

And yet you feel surprised to see Seungcheol in the same space as you after a while. And god why do your legs buckle and why is he so good-looking?

At the same time you want to turn and run, you are so freaking obsessed with seeing Seungcheol with your own two eyes after such a long time. God. You need a drink, you need a glass of the most powerful poison, you need courage and you need strength.

But before you can turn Seungcheol has his eye on you.

And you want to run and scream when you see him walking into you.

"Hey," Seungcheol says and he too looks like he is fine with everything, and you think if it has always been like that if Seungcheol almost didn’t get a scratch when you always left with a broken heart and broken bones "I-" Seungcheol laughs. "This is weird."

"Yeah," you say drinking the rest of your drink in one gulp "They didn't tell me you were coming so-"

"Do we need to continue doing that?" Seungcheol asks and you can feel your head tilting like a damn dog, and Seungcheol's tint smile across his face confirms your suspicion- he always thought it was endearing. "Avoid each other I mean," he clarifies.

And you want to say yes because you feel so weak on your knees. You feel like you are getting pulled - physical traction makes you throw away all that you learned in the past year, making you forget how difficult it was, how painful.

"I don't know, it is not the ideal but what is the other option?" You ask and don't even wait for Seungcheol to answer you when you look around - you need another drink, you are not doing this sober, you feel yourself close to tears and you can't cry sober - drunk you at least have an excuse to bawl everything out.

"Not hating each other?" Seungcheol scoffs, and you do the same.

"Sometimes I think about how we spent four years together," you say, going to the bar with Seungcheol by your side, you order a mojito while Seungcheol just brushes the guy off. Seungcheol is so close that you can feel your brain start malfunctioning.

"Come on, I swear I didn't try to pick a fight if you want I can go I already said my wishes to the host so-"

"Is not that," You feel so fucking frustrated, you can feel your heart in your throat. "I just-" You breathe loudly, maybe you should let him enjoy the party and go - he was the one that didn't show up in two consecutive years. "Look this is not the time or the place for us to have this conversation but the point is I never hated you - I never could, and to be honest never wanted."

Seungcheol just looks at you, his eyes big and mouth agape.

And you wish you could hate him because it would be easier. And because if you hated him you wouldn't question yourself if it was the right decision, if you hated him you wouldn't be thinking about letting Seungcheol back in your life.

"Hey, hey-" you hear Seungcheol's voice behind you.

Fuck you forgot the uber, so you do your best to ignore Seungcheol and pick up your cell phone, trying to open the app fast enough just so a car teleports in the street.

"Come on I can take you home," He says and you want to laugh really, what the fuck is on his mind.

"And would I say yes to that?"

"Look," Seungcheol’s hand goes through his hair and you know he is frustrated, and a part of you relishes that, in the way that you still know him even after more than 24 months apart, "I don't know how you are doing, and this can be me being fucking egotistical, but I have been thinking you hate me for two years, so if here is not the place then we can find a place, I would say my place but that would make me sound like a jerk so-"

"Cheol," you almost beg.

"I really just want to understand what happened, fuck-" And when you look again you see Seungcheol in such a different light, he is so tired, he looks so exhausted, he looks older, but not just older he looks jaded, "It is been plaguing my mind since we broke up I can't fuck wrap my head around-"

"Your house then."

"Ok, ok. Just so you know I have a dog." Seungcheol says while guiding you to his car and you just feel a pang in your chest because you know how he went on and on about how he wanted a dog, how you two could get a dog, how if he wasn't so busy, and far away half of the time you two should get a dog.

And God you feel so sad, you can actually feel everything building up inside your body, you can feel it in your throat.

You heard and heard about the dog and you were not there, and that’s all you can think about the entire trip to Seungcheol’s house.

"This is Kkuma," Seungcheol says holding the dog up, when he sees that you are not in the mood to greet the cute creature he gives up. "Is this a mistake?"

"Probably," you say, looking at his living room - god when you two dated he didn’t have his own house. How much did you miss? How many milestones in his life were you not a part of?

"I-" Seungcheol starts, making you look at him, "I just thought we could go back to good terms you know, I've been keeping tabs on you," and you don’t know why but you feel so angry, you feel like there is something growing under your skin you can’t quite name it. "Don't look at me like that, I wanted to know how you were, how you've been doing, and when I asked about you this last time he said I could show up so I thought you knew"

"I didn't"

"Yeah, I'm sorry," he says, rubbing his palm against his pants in an attempt to dry it. "I mean for today and for everything I guess, I wasn't the best back then. I just thought-"

"What do you want from me Cheol?" You ask for the first time looking at Cheol's eyes, looking for the truth in it, searching for every little detail you can catch to make it make sense, but that just makes you crumble like a sandcastle against a wave, "I've been trying so hard- god"

"Hey, hey-" Seungcheol's hand close around your wrist, his fingers in contrast with your skin. "Don't cry please, don't cry, I always hated when you cried, hated every time I saw you in tears because of me." He says while getting closer to you, which just makes you cry a little bit more.

"I am so sorry, this was a bad idea, I can take you home if you want to," Seungcheol says with his arms around you - and god, you should've braced yourself from the impact, but you didn't and Seungcheol was just crashing into your life again.

"Yeah, and I was crazy enough to say yes to you," you say against Seungcheol's embrace and you are surprised when he picks up your muffled sounds.

"Why did you, say yes I mean" Seungcheol making space to look down at you.

"You know why Cheol," you say rolling your eyes at him.

"It's the same for me too, I guess," Seungcheol says tucking your hair behind your ears, "Maybe that's why I went after you today, fuck, that's why I talked to you really-" his lips find your forehead, and you can feel your heart in throat. You feel like your lungs are about to collapse, you can't breathe, "when I saw you I just-" He smells your hair like he used to do, his hand on your neck, his thumb caressing your jaw. "it just felt like nothing had changed"

I know it sounds fatal, I know we made fires The ending's real clear and it won't take us higher Tonight, I might need to come kamikaze Crash into your way (Kamikaze, kamikaze)

You know Seungcheol, you can tell, you can anticipate every step. With Seungcheol it is like you have the ability to see the future in your lids. With Seungcheol even when he crashes and burns makes you think to yourself that you can take the fire against your skin.

And you miss the feeling - to be understood even when you don't have words, when the silence speaks for you when Seungcheol just knows what you need before you ask for it. That's why you broke things up, you think, maybe you felt the most loved when Seungcheol would anticipate every and each one of your needs, and the moment he stopped you felt so unseen.

When Seungcheol's lips find your cheeks, just below your eyes, you can hear the sound of your heart-shattering. Your hands tighten against his sides.

"I missed you," Seungcheol says, his forehead resting against yours. "I missed this, missed us."

"Cheol," you beg because it is the only thing you can do, the only thing you can master.

"Let me take care of you," You can feel the way his hand goes to your nape, making you shiver, "Let me make you happy."

You just nod, because that's what you want. You want it so much that you could change the earth's axis, you could change the future and the past for it. And when you feel Seungcheol's lips against yours you think that ending the world would seem like an easy task if it was to achieve Seungcheol's love, to have his touch against your skin every day.

When you wrap your arms around Seungcheol's neck you know you are done for - you know you fell in love all over again.

And you do it because it is him, because it is Seungcheol, and he is the only one who could break your heart.

"You will, won't you?" Seungcheol says mouth against your jaw, hand still against your nape holding you in place, "Let me love you?"

"Don't say things like that," you whisper, tugging on Seungcheol's shirt.

"Why baby?" He says kissing your jaw, his hand caressing your cheek, "god, I missed this," Seungcheol says when his breath in on your neck, rubbing his nose on it. "missed how you smell," his hand holds your waist and you feel so glad because you almost melting, "missing the way you taste," he says when his tongue laps at your skin, giving you a small kiss on the kneck.

The only thing you can do is try to anchor yourself, one hand splayed against Seungcheol's back and another one tugging at his hair. Seungcheol's hand goes around you, caging you against his body, his hands finding the hem of your shirt and putting it under your shirt.

And it is just so much, the way his hands feel hot against your back, keeping you upright. The way his lips feel against your skin, wet, across your cleavage. The way that his body feels hard against yours.

It's just so much. To have all that again, you almost forget how to breathe.

Seungcheol is so big - physically yes, but his whole existence is so big, it makes you feel suffocated. Seungcheol is so big that you question yourself how you used to fit him in your heart.

But you choose not to think about it, not know. You call his name while tugging his hair, blindly searching his mouth. And you focus on Seungcheol, the way that his tongue feels against yours, the way that he holds you, the way that you feel how hard he is against your hips.

"Let me," Seungcheol whisper against your mouth before his hand found the back of your thighs and picks your up - and you do the only thing you can do, letting out a surprised noise and hugging Seungcheol. And you can feel how Seungcheol's smiles spread against the skin of your chest.

"Don't laugh," you try to scold him, hand tugging his hair again - when he let his hair gets so long? It was a newfound joy for you.

"-m not laughing," you hear Seungcheol say against your skin, his fingers dipping in the skin of your ass.

When your back hits the mattress, you feel like you can breathe again for the first time, Seungcheol's body away from yours. Until his hand is back on your hips, making your heart skip a beat and your lungs collapse.

"You are so pretty," he says when his hands travel up against your body, lifting your shirt, Seungcheol's lips find the skin of your stomach, his hand pressing on your ribcage. Seungcheol looks at you, his tongue on your skin, linking a strip of it.

The thing about Seungcheol is that he still remembers. He still knows what makes you melt, makes you hot, makes you whimper. And he does it so right that makes your head spin.

Seungcheol lifts your shirt up, pooling it against your neck. "Fuck-" Seungcheol starts again and you ask yourself how he doesn't feel tongue-tied like you, "so pretty like this," his digits touch your chest when the lace of your bra ends, and it is just so faint, you lift your chest searching for his touch.

"Can I?" Seungcheol asks and you don't even know what he wants but you are nodding. He tugs on your bra, letting your boobs free. His forefinger and his middle finger find your nipple, tugging at it lightly, making you whimper. "Always loved how you are so fucking sensitive," he coos.

Seungcheol's lips find your skin again, and the way he kisses the underside of your boob is so soft and so tender that makes your head spin a little. Seungcheol lowers his body against yours, making you open your legs a little to make space for him between them.

Seungcheol kisses your sternum at the same time that his hands wrapped around your throat, he doesn't put pressure on it. But the mere fact that his hand is splayed on your windpipe makes you lose it, make you whimper. "God, missed this too, the way you sound"

"Cheol," you want to complain but you can't because Seungcheol just licks one of your nipples, his free hand holding you in place for him to latch on it. You don't even know what to do - it is just too much, the feel of Seungcheol's hands on your body, of his mouth against your skin.

When his mouth leaves your nipple with a low pop, his mouth doesn't leave your skin. "Don't worry babe gonna give it to you," you hear his voice low and muffled, "Gonna give you everything."

"Want you-" you say tugging at his shirt. And you feel so hot all over, you ask yourself how did you survive without his touch for so long, how did you survive with your skin against yours.

"I know, I know” Seungcheol coos and you just melt against the hand he places against your face, when he kisses you again you know you are doomed. “Just let me eat you first," he says putting his lips just below your ear, his body heavy and hot against you, "Missed your pussy too, missed everything."

"Don't talk like that," you beg and you don't hear it, but you feel the way that Seungcheol's body reverberates with a chuckle - and you take the opportunity to tug at your own shirt and bra.

"I know you like it," Seungcheol says opening the button of your pants and tugging at each leg.

"I don't anymore," you say just because you feel like you need to pick a fight really. To look like it is harder to rip you apart at the seams, to make Seungcheol think it is not that easy to wreck you.

To make Seungcheol think it's harder to have you again.

"I know you do," Seungcheol says lifting your leg and kissing your ankle, and you feel if it's not normal to feel so much. "I can see you do still like it." Seungcheol's voice drops and you can see his eyes on your pussy, his knuckle pressing on it over your panties, you can see how wet it feels, and god you feel so ashamed because you want it so much, and because Seungcheol knows.

You can feel how red your skin is. Seungcheol lies between your legs. He rearranges your position, opening more your legs, putting one of your thighs on his shoulder. "Don't need to lie to me," He says before slowly biting on the meat of your thigh, his hands holding you in place when you buckle.

Seungcheol kisses your pussy over your panties and you bite on your tongue, you hold yourself back. "God, I even miss the way you smell," Seungcheol says and you feel faint - and you tug at the sheet almost crying, almost begging.

But before you say anything you feel him tugging at your panties and you don't move, you just let Seungcheol move your body to his pleasure, taking your panties off but putting your legs the same way as before.

You feel Seungcheol digits against your folds and you bite your tongue again - trying to hold back. But when his thumb presses on your clit you can't resist calling his name. "Shh, it's okay baby," Seungcheol says before his tongue is on you, making your head spin.

You ask yourself again how you survived without him.

Because with Seungcheol was just so easy.

Seungcheol doesn't ask what you like he already knows.

Seungcheol knows how to pin your hips down, with his hand splayed, because you like how strong he is. Seungcheol knows how to lick your folds, how to suck on your clit, how to tease you with his fingers.

"Can you-" you try to ask for it, but when you look down between your legs you see Seungcheol looking at you, seeking your reactions, trying to catch every little detail, and before you can ask again Seungcheol is nodding against your pussy, mouth not leaving it for a second even thoughyou are bucking your hips.

And then you feel his fingers against your entrance. And it is Seungcheol he knows how you like it, but he knows too much, he teases you first, just the knuckle against your hole.

"Seungcheol, please," you ask again, accepting that you lost the war, accepting that you can't pretend anymore because you know Seungcheol will only give you when you ask for it.

But you asked for it so he gives to you.

He starts fucking you slowly with his fingers, his tongue never leaving your clit.

You feel like you are going insane, it's just too much - his hand’s strong grounding your hips, the way that his mouth closes against your clit, the way that his fingers enter you, the way his eyes never leave yours.

And before you can say anything you are cumming against his tongue, Seungcheol laps at it like he wants to feel your taste on his tongue, like he wants every drop of it.

"Always loved your mouth." You say before Seungcheol kisses you and you can taste yourself on his tongue.

Seungcheol lifts his body, kneeling on the mattress, and finally takes his shirt off, "wait," you call for him, and you look at him. And god he is so fucking pretty all over. He always has been. You touch him, hands against his stomach, and you wish you can make him feel like he does to you.

You sit on the bed, Seungcheol's position making him taller than you, but it is not a problem when the difference makes it easier to kiss his pecs. And Seungcheol holds the back of your neck, his eyes again, never leaving you, making sure he sees every tiny fraction of every little touch.

You don't know if you actually forgot, or, if you just locked the memories away in a tiny part of your brain, but when you see Seungcheol so pilant against your touch - against one of your hands on his stomach, the other touching his pecs and mouth sucking at his skins it is like it's unlock something on you.

"Did you miss it?" You ask hand working on Cheol's pants, palming him in the process.

"Hun?" He asks voice low, like he didn't catch the meaning behind the question.

"The way I make you feel," you answer, hand underneath his underwear, touching his hard dick. "Did you miss it?" You ask again, looking Seungcheol in the eyes.

"So fucking much," he answers and you can see how his body reacts to every single touch you give him, you lower Seungcheol's underwear, just enough so his cock springs free - red and leaking, and God you wish you could forget how many time Seungcheol split you open with his dick, but you can't, you think you remember each and every time, "Thought about it every day."

"Can you fuck me?" You ask Seungcheol, fingers wrapped around his dick, pumping him slowly, thumb rubbing against his tip, and you can see his body twitch, but Seungcheol just lets you do whatever you want with him.

"How do you want me?" he asks.

"You know how," you say it because it is true. Seungcheol knows how to eat you, how to fuck you, how to split you open, he knows how to make you feel good, and how to make you cry.

"Come on," He says hand on your shoulder making you lay down again, and you whine because the action made you set his dick free "You asked me to fuck you" his hands wrap around your leg and make your body turn to the side.

And it is just so hot, how Seungcheol can manhandle you, can make you turn and move, but still cave into every and each one of your whims. You ask and he answers it. You ask him to jump and he asks how high.

Seungcheol lays on the bed, his front pressed against your back, his strong arms around you, his lips against your neck, his dick against your ass.

Your mind goes back to how big Seungcheol is, how he doesn't let space for anyone else.

But you come back to reality when you feel Seungcheol's dick going against your pussy. Seungcheol mumbles against the skin of your shoulder, but you are so gone that you don't actually pay attention to it.

When Seungcheol starts fucking you you are halfway there. You hold Seungcheol's arms, your nails marking his skin. "You take me so fucking well," Seungcheol says before his teeth find the flesh of your shoulder. "Do you need-" You don't let him finish, tugging at his hair, searching for his mouth - and the kiss is messy and sloppy, and when Seungcheol's fingers find your pussy again you just moan on his mouth.

"Are you-" Seungcheol asks, and you know what he wants to say in the way his hips fall in rhythm the way his other hand tightens against your ass, the way with every stroke he goes deeper and deeper. And you nod because it is the truth, you are so close to it that you feel like your bones are melting.

And you just let it hit you, let the wave of the orgasm wash over your body. And you know Seungcheol is close by the way he pants against your neck, by the way, his strong hands hold your thigh - until you feel him cum on you.

You can feel your heart beating against your chest. You can feel the way Seungcheol's dick slips off you, and the way your back feels sweaty against his chest. You squirm a little trying to put some distance between your bodies.

"Stay," Seungcheol murmurs against your shoulder while enveloping you in his embrace, tugging you closer and you do. You stay because Seungcheol still makes you fall in love with him every single chance he gets, but your mind is still wrapped around the feeling that maybe, you two, are not meant to be, one of the lovers that could be so fucking beautiful and that marked your life, that is a before Seungcheol and after Seungcheol in your life.

But, deep down you know, that you just got tired of asking for more.

Now you don't want a lover that you need to ask for it - even though you know Seungcheol would never say no to you, but for once, you think that you want someone who gives to you without being asked for.

I love the beginning, the moonlight is calling I know we'll go up but we'll end up freefalling

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kaiowut99 · 2 months ago

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Some GX Remaster thoughts, as memed shared over on the NAC Discord the other night...

but tl;dr me seeing all the hype they did at these Japan events to promote the remaster, only to see what feels like little love being given to it as they make it another cropjob, only not even giving it a "20th Remaster" logo like with DM's:

Okay let's fire this up and se--okay wHY IS THE LYRIC FONT SO BIG

And cropjob it is, sasuga Konami [NAS?]

From all the work they did advertising it as the "GX 20th Remaster," to not even bother updating this bit in the OP to include the logo like they did for the DM Remaster openings, I'm...

Still not fully sure how much of this is from whoever encoded the video (a "JibaRaws" release) because wHAT is this filter they added to whooshy scenes??? (Judai running in the city isn't even that whooshy??) wild sepia tone appeared

RIP, even less Yugi--but at least they seem to have thoughtfully cropped this shot since the same amount of his face is there

They didn't try to fix the error with the one orange "face-down card" Big Shield Guardna's duelist had that I fixed here, lol.

I thought they would have at least fixed this one like I did, but the error with Misawa's LP dropping from 3000 as Ring of Destruction resolves is still there... They did get better about fixing those rare errors by Season 3, but I wonder if they don't have access to the original project files with the LP counters as their own layers that they could fix (though I guess if they did they'd redo the counters as they crop the shots, since DM's counters would be cut off slightly here/there too in its remaster iirc).

Random whooshy-scene sepiaesque filtering again, but also love how you can barely see Featherman's card [though with it being a zoom-out shot, it was probably a bit tricky to crop well]

No "20th Remaster" even on the cropped eyecatches, shame 😔

They cropped the "gotcha!" 😭 [how will this new generation learn the finger pose]

Well, I guess one upside to this whole thing--aside from the Limited Packs coming out with 10 previously anime-only cards finally being printed like Linear Magnum, Titan's Matadors, and Asuka's Prima Light (and hopefully a chance at a long-awaited Sound Duel 3 for the remaining unreleased OST)--is a bit of a better shot of grabbing the Heroes' anime artworks from the Battle on the Edge/Genkai Battle ED [a proper 1080p upload would be niftier for this, I'm sure]

Kinda bugs me they didn't crop this to put the title in the center [unless they maybe did it this way to account for two-liner titles in the future]

It is cute they brought back this "tune in next time" card from the TV airings too

Would've been a nice touch to retroactively do "Today's Best Card" bits for Season 1, but then I guess most of the key cards became Best Cards later in the show anyway [also too much effort to expect given the effort already shown here]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`

Sooo, overall, it's a bit of a mixed-bag remaster there--mostly a cropjob as I was expecting since we saw the logo drop at its announcement event being a crop of the logo shot from OP1 (though I'm curious to see how much the "remastering" for GX in ARC-V's 777 OP or in those Duel Select re-airings [where they re-aired a handful of fan-fave episodes like Judai vs Kaibaman or Fubuki vs Asuka] stack up to this), and things like not even bothering to give it the "20th Remaster" logo they used in promos in the OP/eyecatches or even trying to fix art/animation errors mostly sours it for me, but if it finally gets us more anime cards and a new Sound Duel of unreleased music as mentioned, I guess I'll embrace it. also Fire Dragon pls Also, not sure how much of it is my GX brainrot because of all my time fansubbing it (check out my finalized episode 1 subs, ft the aforementioned animation error fixes, here if curious!), but it's so awkward seeing it so cropped and zoomed in, lol.

...also, apparently these aren't airing with closed-captioning either??? which, welp, there goes the other benefit I was hoping for with this lol. I'm curious how Japanese fans are seeing this, though the couple of Twitter comments I've seen are also picking at the cropjob aspect.

Though I am kinda glad they didn't try to mess with the OP/EN like they did with DM's--but then, you can't mess with perfection, after all 💁🏽‍♂️

#GX #yugioh #yugioh gx #ygo #ygo gx #yu-gi-oh #yu-gi-oh gx #Lance it up!#GX remaster #*sad girl dabbing over 'SAILING MY SEA' TikTok here*

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princess-self-shipping · 5 months ago

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I AM FINALLY LEARNING HOW TO SCUG OMFG (I do not know how to do their legs still so I could use some help there but otherwise!)

Anyway this was inspired by me beating Saint's campaign while in a discord call with my friends and it being. Very. Very chaotic lmfao

Also bonus video cause. Guess what was blasting in my ears at the same time while I was going through Rubicon?

(Slight warning for flashing colors)

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nehswritesstuffs · 5 days ago

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One Piece Rare Pair Week 2025 - Part 6 of 7

Someone said it was Rare Pair Week so you know that I, a mod in a Discord server dedicated to exactly that, was on it.

1065 words; I tried really hard to avoid reusing characters in a single edition of these prompts but sorry not sorry I got the brainrot and you all are getting Law twice (thrice if you’re also keeping up w/the Pride version of these; ch. 1055 was Date Night for these two you can’t change my mind; I missed LawBin Day on 6/6 so here is penance

Day One [FFN]/[AO3] - Day Two [FFN]/[AO3] - Day Three [FFN]/[AO3] - Day Four [FFN]/[AO3] - Part Five [FFN]/[AO3] - Part Six [FFN]/[AO3]

Day Six: Secrets | Confessions - LawRobin [1065 words; T+]

It was late as Law and Robin were down in the secret chamber underneath Wano, studying its Road Poneglyph. The pair were going over papers compiled of notes that they had made with Sukiyaki’s help—the elderly man had already come back twice with more paper and ink, as well as a snack for them all. He was now sleeping in the kokeshi doll room, having decided it was better to sleep while guarding the chamber’s entrance than to sleep when a sneak-attack would be too late to stop.

“This is honestly incredible,” Law said. He was standing as he looked at a few pages of translations in his hands, hat and coat draped on the hilt of his sword as it leaned against a mossy railing. A pair of reading glasses sat perched on his nose while he read in the low light. “…and you’ve just… known this…?”

“Not this specific information, but how to interpret it, yes,” Robin replied. She was knelt down at the corner of the Poneglyph, finishing off another rubbing as her Devil Fruit helped her hold the giant sheet together with a multitude of hands. “This is what got me my bounty as a child.”

“I believe it.” He compared the notes to a piece of paper that another one of her arms passed him. “The only reason we’re not dead because of this is because we’re in Wano.”

“We’re in Wano and the imperial family has taken a liking to us.”

“That too,” he admitted. Law sat on a stool that Sukiyaki had brought down, his right leg bouncing on the ball of his foot as he continued comparing the pieces. “How many other people know this?”

“Not many,” she admitted. “I can imagine there are little pockets of people here and there who learned from Ohara’s example and don’t advertise their knowledge, so aside from Sukiyaki, myself, and now you… it wouldn’t surprise me if there’s a few hundred people who know this in secret pockets all over the globe—a thousand at-most. Almost everyone I’ve encountered who lives near a Poneglyph are completely ignorant of their secrets.”

“…and let me guess: it’s ‘almost’ because of our current benefactors?”

“Perceptive.” Robin glanced over at Law and smirked at the intensity in which he was studying. It reminded her of a few times she caught him pouring over books with Chopper, both medical professionals glad there was finally someone else to commiserate with. “You pick things up quickly.”

“I have to, given field work is a tricky thing,” he admitted. “There’s not a lot of leeway for researching how to piece together bodies while also managing a gut wound, malnutrition, and intense fatigue… and that’s just one example.”

“Mmm; so you need to catch on quickly and be able to do a variety of things or else your patients will die.”

“Right. I’m not in a clinic somewhere, picking and choosing patients based on how well their issues mesh with my specialization. I’m just impressed you learned how to read this as a child.”

“You learned medical terminology as a child.”

“That’s different.” His face grew hot with blush—she had him there. “Jargon is one thing, being multilingual is another, but this is a dead language… a dead writing system… it’s impressive.”

“Then don’t sell yourself short,” she replied. Robin stood and brushed the dirt from her kimono, watching as her extra hands folded the rubbing paper and dissipated. “A challenge is a challenge.”

“This is a challenge to the world.”

“It’s a challenge to Marie Geoise.” Law looked up to see that Robin was now standing directly in front of him. She ran a hand through his hair, starting from the front and moving back, then down and back until she was cupping his jaw. “This is not idle information—are you willing to stand against them with me?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“My crew burned their flag for me and it was treated as more than just a piece of charred cloth. Meanwhile, they don’t know what goes on within Wano. You can still back out and deny any plausible connection to this… you can still say it was only me.”

“Now why would I do that?” he posed. “They know I’ve spent this kind of time with you and I’d get a boost to my bounty from their jealously alone.”

“Good to hear you say that.” She sat down on his lap, causing his leg to stop bouncing as it held her weight. He went to take off his glasses and she stopped him, threading their fingers together as her other arm rested along his shoulders. “You look good like this.”

“N-No I don’t,” he stuttered. He rested the hand still holding papers against her back as he worked his other hand free, shakily taking off the eyeglasses before looking her directly in the eyes. “I’m nothing compared to you.”

“Sure you are.” Robin leaned down and pressed her lips against Law’s, lingering as she broke the kiss. “Do you need to be taught that as well?”

“You already said I’m a good student.” His voice cracked slightly as he tried to quickly think ahead to how he thought this night might go, the front of his jeans feeling tighter with each possibility. The corner of his mouth twisted up in a smirk, daring her as he decided it was worth the risk to shoot his shot. “I’m ready for the final exam.”

“I don’t know about that,” she hummed before kissing him again. “I think you need some more practice… remedial by the looks of it.”

“Good thing I’ve never gotten a low mark in my life.” Law passed the papers and eyeglasses to extra pairs of Robin’s hands, which freed up his own to reach up and cradle her face before pulling her into another kiss, this one warming them both from the inside out. He felt her fingers grip his shoulder, thread through his hair, hold him from falling off the stool, feel his arms and legs and chest. She moved to straddle his lap and he moaned; damn it felt good, making out while he was hard and she was warm and it made their heads spin.

For all they cared, their benefactor could keep sleeping in the kokeshi doll room—they had better things to do for the time being.

#One Piece #One Piece fan fiction #OnePieceRarePairWeek2025 #One Piece Rare Pair Week #OnePieceRarePairWeek #One Piece Rare Pair Week 2025 #Lawbin #Law x Robin #Robin x Law #Nico Robin #Robin One Piece #Trafalgar Law #Law One Piece #Trafalgar D. Water Law #I can and shall write this part of the story a bajillion different ways YOU CANNOT STOP ME #oprarepairweek

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cartograffiti · 8 months ago

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An entry for #WinASignedSetofTheQueensThief2024! This is a story about falling in love with a book cover, and why baby teen me would have told you to read these books, too.

The year was 2009. I was 13. The wonderful children’s magazine Cricket recommended an adventure book called The Thief. I was very intrigued, but when I found it on the shelf it looked like this.

This was the first cover for the first book in what later came to be known as the Queen’s Thief series, and there are things I like about it! But I am not here to gush about it, because one of the nicknames this cover has in the fandom is “the Jesus cover.” It isn’t Jesus, it’s the fictional goddess Hephestia, but some of us didn’t know that right away.

Me. I didn’t know that.

I went hm! Is the thief Barabbas from the story of Jesus’s crucifixion!? What a downer!!! And I put it back.

And then a few months later, I was browsing a list of upcoming books and saw the most perfect cover I had ever seen...

I would love for my 13 year old self to tell you everything about this, the Vince Natale cover for A Conspiracy of Kings, that had me in an ecstatic chokehold. Instead, I have made the fancam moodboard I think would have fulfilled my dreams.

My reaction went a little like this.

I was drawn to the warm colors, but of greater importance was...

Pretty horse! This was like putting cheese in a mouse trap for catching child me.

Pretty hair! I was in the middle of a phase in which whenever I couldn't picture the protagonist of a book yet, I was just inserting Orlando Bloom as Legolas. I remember zooming in on this cover to look for elf ears and deciding they were inessential.

Especially because I was so intrigued by all the details I could see. I so instantly wanted to know about his lion ring, why he was shackled, and the beautiful fraying embroidery. The ornate flourishes on the title suggested to me that this might be fantasy and not historical fiction, and I was sold.

Of course, then I discovered it wouldn't be out for something like 9 months yet and was the fourth in a series...and you'll never guess what the first book is!

Later I would learn that the cover I first saw was probably a bearded version that was replaced by a smoother Sophos face before publication. I hugely approved because I had gone on to watch A Knight's Tale on the strength of "that guy looks like how I picture Sophos" and fallen in love with Heath Ledger (my thanks to Abigail in The Geninsula for the image edit used here), and so by the time a copy was in my hands, I loved the final cover even more.

But first I sighed and put a hold on The Thief, and, well. Here I gesture grandly at approximately 15 rereads and the 900-person fan club I run on Discord. You might say I liked it a little bit. :)

So, from my 13 year old self to all of yours: not only was TT and its sequels everything I hoped for, this is just one of my beautiful blorbos who has done so many crimes in Queen's Thief. You should read it so you can make a moodboard about your favorite, too.

#Queen's Thief #QT #WinASignedSetofTheQueensThief2024

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h0pelessnecromantic · 9 months ago

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Okay expanding on (or just dumping here) my thoughts from discord on Benson flagging as a bottom.

On a long enough timeline he finally trusts Randy enough to let him top - but Randy is a sad little wet worm boy and doesn’t know how so Benson has to instruct him every step of the way. And he’s like. Awful at it. Half the time Benson just ends up riding him and then spends the next day bitching that his legs are sore cause *someone* doesn’t know how to fuck. He makes Randy fuck a fleshlight while he sits and watches and critiques him. Makes them do it in front of a mirror so Randy can see how to do it right. He’s getting increasingly flustered and embarrassed and on the verge of crying like “benson please — I can get it right. I just, tell me what to do. Please” meanwhile Benson is so over it and just berating him like “God Randy, never learned how to use your dick? What kind of a man are you? What are you even good for? Just a fucking hole I guess”

Randy probably gets the hang of it but now he still can’t top unless benson is humiliating him

#is this anything #the passenger #the passenger 2023

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woodstown · 1 month ago

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— ★ Things I’ve learnt about Keith Woods from watching WoodsTown (+ paul town)

WoodsTown Weekly Windup was a weekly internet show hosted by Keith Woods and co-hosted by Paul Town. It aired from August 7, 2024, to February 23, 2025, entering an indefinite hiatus following the exposé of Keith Woods’ DM Leaks that happened on the same day as the last episode. The show provided commentary and analysis on political and cultural news from the preceding week.

I have finally watched all 20 episodes of WoodsTown, and now I can report back facts or tidbits that I found interesting about my dear Keefling. I hope some of you will enjoy this or find this interesting. I made this in part because I know some people find it hard to watch Keith since he is, admittedly, less charismatic than Nick, so I thought this would be useful for some people to learn more about him.

I started compiling this list since early mid-March.

(‘PT’ = Paul Town & ‘Peith’ = Paul & Keith together.)

Keith believes in peaceful parenting and is anti-harsh disciplining & thinks it's more harmful to children when parents spank them.

In episode 7, PT suggested that Keith had previously mentioned he would be deeply upset, possibly to the point of tears, if he ever had to spank a child, and said he can't bring himself to do it.

In episode 14, PT made him react to a video where a child's punishment was doing Fortnite dances, and he stopped the video early and called it child abuse. (Timestamp. It’s kinda funny.)

He, just like Nick, has a deviated septum. If you pay attention to him in videos you will notice that he does play with his nose a lot the same way Nick does.

Keith says he has to “force himself to eat” and naturally will forget to eat after eating one meal a day and doesn’t understand how people stay fat.

He has an insane metabolism and says he lost 2 kilos of muscle after not working out for a week and felt himself lose his strength.

He prefers to listen to podcasts and audiobooks while at the gym instead of music.

He was raised in a Catholic family. His family is still Catholic.

He used to play the Irish sport Hurling but quit when he was 13.

He was apparently put on a hit-list for being too pro-Russia and it made it so that if he ever stepped foot in eastern Europe, he’d be murdered. He mentioned this at least twice on the show in different episodes. He has said that he is now removed from the list.

There is old Peith footage of Keith calling into PT’s livestream to talk about the movie ‘Tenet’. This was the first time they ever talked. (I have uploaded the archive, here.)

He is into scenery. He’s guessed where PT’s scenery background is located at, correctly, in multiple episodes.

Peith have watched movies together on Discord calls.

PT's favorite thing about Keith is how classy he is. (Timestamp. It was so cute.)

In PT’s “Clique Theory,” he categorized Keith as Ascended Nerd.

Keith worries about his mind cognitively declining as he ages.

According to Nick in episode 4, Keith used to be a communist, which checks out if you go on Twitter and search ‘keith woods communist’ you will get a plethora of tweets of people over the years, and even to this day, calling him a commie or a leftist, I even found one comparing him to Hasan Piker, I compiled the tweets here, if you'd like to look at them.

He has claimed the title of socialist before, as he made a video in 2019, titled “Reclaiming Socialism from the Left” where he boldly states in it, “I will happily say that I’m a socialist.”

He’s said that his ideal economic world would consist of a mix of capitalism & communism in his “What I Believe” article, which he did a voice over for that you can listen to.

Both Nick & PT often joke about Keith being a leftist.

In episode 7, for example, Keith said he thought Kamala Harris won the Presidential debate she had with Trump, and PT replied with, “Of course you’d think that.”

Keith gives off a pacifist type of personality to me.

In episode 3, PT told him to repeat the affirmation, “I am not the abused, I am the abuser”, and so he did, PT then asked him if he felt powerful after he said it, and Keith said he felt quite uncomfortable.

Keith told a story that at AFPAC, a 7 ft. tall man was following him and PT around and trying to “join in” on their conversations and dynamic. Apparently, the man tried to corner PT.

Keith thinks his Hogwarts House would be Ravenclaw.

Keith is very pro-Halloween. He loves that the holiday originated just a short distance from where he grew up in Ireland.

His birthplace is Roscommon, Ireland.

His birthday is July 30th, 1995.

He is currently 29 years old and will turn 30 this year.

His zodiac Sun sign is in Leo, just like Nick.

His Moon sign is in Virgo.

In the Pilot episode, Keith says while in Detroit, Michigan, for AFPAC, that it was the most he's ever been around Black people, and then says he saw more Black people that weekend in Detroit than he has in his whole life.

While in Detroit, Keith says he ended up staying in part of the hood.

PT says what brought him and Keith together was talking about looksmaxxing. (This could’ve just been a sarcastic comment from PT though, haha.)

Keith is into MBTI personality types.

His MBTI type is INFJ. He says he’s a feeler and PT is a thinker who he suspects is an INTP or INTJ.

He doesn't listen to music that much. When he does, he says it's more so to help him focus because, in his words, he has a short attention span.

He said he does think he might have ADHD.

He said he likes to listen to loud Electronic or EDM music to help him stay focused. (Which is not at all what I expected.)

He said his favorite subject in school was History.

His best subject though, was English, he said he got an award for getting a perfect score.

His worst subject was learning languages.

Keith is a fan of wrestling, in particular WWE.

Keith says he doesn't speak Irish Gaelic very well.

In episode 2, he said that he “quit nicotine completely” and uses ZYN sporadically—which if you don’t know, ZYN is a tobacco-free nicotine pouch, Tucker Carlson has promoted it before.

He said he did nicotine because it helped him stay focused.

He said he used to Vape but doesn’t anymore. (His only ick, if he smoked cigarettes, it’d be hotter.)

Keith has a missing tooth on the right side of his mouth. (Image.)

It’s never mentioned or explained why he has it on the show, neither online from what I could research, but his former nicotine habit could potentially be the reason. Though, this is just speculation on my part.

He says he took an autism test and scored low, but one aspect he scored higher on was having trouble with eye contact.

He said if he were to move out of Ireland then he’d move to Croatia. He said he’s lived there in the past and has fond memories of the place.

He doesn’t know who Central Cee is. (I just thought this was funny.)

I’ve noticed Keith tries to be diplomatic with everyone.

Keith says he works out for aesthetic reasons, and has started working out since the beginning of 2024.

Keith said he doesn’t like the idea of boxing because he doesn’t want to get brain damage.

He is very conscious about things that do damage to his mind.

Peith have sent progress photos of themselves at the gym to each other as positive reinforcement.

Keith said if he had to choose which serial killer to be reborn as, he’d choose Ted Bundy because he was “the handsome one”.

Nick & PT in episode 4 told a silly story of Keith at some restaurant or bar, when they were in Detroit, of him getting attention from Black women there, and saying that Black women loved Keith. Though the way the story was told, it was probably just a joke, but they kept mentioning it, so maybe there is some truth to it.

He seems to get easily startled by fireworks.

He’s not a fan of the beach.

He’s said he likes the naivete he finds in Americans because he relates to being a bit more naive and wanting to believe people have good intentions. (Which honestly makes a lot of sense when I think about it.)

He said John Doyle was not his type.

Keith has only watched two anime shows, Evangelion and Death Note.

He says his favorite one out of the two is Death Note.

He seems to be more playful and sillier when around PT.

He likes the Luke Kelly version of Foggy Dew & likes the Wolfe Tones version of Skibbereen.

He seems to dislike things that are what he’d describe as “self-indulgent”.

He is an anti-materialist. In late 2020, he actually made a video titled, “Why Materialism Is Absurd”.

He has insulted/criticized incels at least twice on the show.

In one instance, in episode 16, he said about incels, “If women don’t want to have sex with you, you are probably a loser.” I am unsure if it’s meant to be sarcastic or a genuine belief from him, considering the community he willingly surrounded himself with at that time (Nick & the groypers), though he did say this a few days before him and Nick publicly started falling out.

He shaved his head in 2020 and said people mistook him for being sick or having cancer.

Lowkey a money whore. He said he’d be willing to do an episode shirtless if he was donated 5-10k dollars, and said he’d shave his eyebrows for 5k. Also, PT has subtly called him a prostitute at least twice on the show.

In episode 19, he revealed he does have a few grey hairs, and he said he may dye his hair when he gets older.

Keith says he has no plans to run for election to be president of Ireland or Prime Minister for a lot of reasons, but one reason being that he says he’s too young and too anti-social to be in any high government positions.

The way Keith says he involves himself politically is by supporting and being a member of the National Party in Ireland, which if you look at the National Party’s Telegram, he is sometimes shown on there via pictures.

He's not a fan of horror movies and says he's only seen 5 horror movies in his life.

He said that he doesn’t like to watch movies that are too old, I think he said anything pre-70s he doesn’t watch often if at all.

He said that he likes to watch podcasts and read articles from intellectual leftists at times because he prefers to have nuanced opinions and likes hearing all sides.

In episode 15, he said he is philosophically theistic, but does not follow a specific religion, and yet at the same time, he does not consider himself an atheist.

He said if he were Catholic, that he’d be a Perennialist Catholic, similar to Aarvoll, or he’d have to believe in a heretical form of Christianity.

Keith said he struggles with the concept of an eternal hell in Christianity.

He disagrees with Nick on hating on poor people.

In episode 13, the ‘Wifeguy’ episode, Keith reveals that he does not have a ‘wifejak’ of his own, implying that he does not have a girlfriend—despite having one earlier in the year. (He has used the term, wifejak, as a synonym for girlfriend before, FYI.) This means that at some point during 2024, they broke up. In my opinion, this is what led to his little downward spiral with Slayter later in the year. He was actually already talking to her when this episode aired, on December 1st.

That is all the Keith info I have for you that is from the show! I was going to add more to the last fact/bullet point, but I have decided that I will make that one into a separate post so expect that one coming sometime next weekend? I only post these big NFCU posts on the weekends or when Nick has cancelled a show. Lol

If you would like to read some bonus facts about his co-host Paul Town, and my overall thoughts on the show, click below the cut! But if not, then, thank you for reading, and hopefully this was interesting or insightful to at least one of you out there. ❤️

— ★ Bonus! Some facts about Paul Town!

This was originally just going to be Keith facts, until last minute, I thought about shoehorning in some PT stuff in here. Which is why there is a ‘keep reading’ tag and why this list will be much shorter, because a lot of these are just from memory from watching the show.

The reason why I was originally hesitant on sharing PT info before making my NFCU blog is because, despite Paul Town being friends with Nick for a long time, they don’t have a super public and detailed history from what I can see (Like appearing in each other’s things frequently, hanging out often, or frequent mentions of the other, etc.), I do think he’s interesting on his own as a person though, away from Nick. But because my main blog is Nick-centric, I thought, it’d be kind of pointless to share information about another person who doesn’t have that much relation to Nick, whereas Keith is different because Nick called Keith his best friend, hung out with him IRL multiple times and has mentioned him on his show a bunch throughout their friendship. (Which you will all see in my Neith compilation #soon one day.)

Really, the only thing in PT’s relation to Nick that’s interesting is that he’s been friends with him for a long time, but that’s sort of where it stops, unless I find more, of course. Or maybe an anon knows obscure NickTown (Nick & PT) lore that I’m not aware of and would be willing to share. I know he appeared on a super old AF call-in show from like 2018 I think, and in more recent times, he has called into one of Nick’s chill streams in 2023, and there’s one picture of him and Nick together that I have found and have posted on my Pinterest, but that’s kind of it.

Outwardly/publicly, it seems like PT was closer to Keith; with all the things I mentioned on this list already about them watching movies on Discord together, sending each other progress pictures of them working out, them hanging out at AFPAC, them having this show together, etc. I believe around the AF sphere as well, they were often compared to each other as being similar. PT in his cozy chat, has emotes of him and Keith, and on his streams, he talks about him a lot. I might upload some clips of those on my clip channels one day.

In one of PT’s streams that I decided to take a gander at watching, he says that he respects Nick, but they aren’t that similar and are very different people, but with Keith, he finds that they are quite alike:

But with that out of the way, I’ll share with you just some things I’ve found!

He’s a writer and has made and published several books.

He smokes cigarettes and weed and says he gets his story ideas for his books while high.

He owns a bunch of random websites and web URLs. (Likely hasn't been updated in awhile.)

If you type “woods.town” into your search engine it will take you to Keith’s rumble page, PT made this personalized URL for him.

He’s very technical, very into technology, coding, and AI.

He is currently making an “anti-woke” pong game. He mentions it a lot on the show and even demonstrated it on episode 18. (Timestamp.)

He’s also into finances, as he regularly talks about bitcoin and cryptocurrency on his streams, in a YT video of his, and on his old blogs.

I’ve noticed PT likes to idolize violence and war at times on the show.

His real name is Evan Zenker.

You probably already know, but I’ll write it here anyways, he has diagnosed schizophrenia. He found out he had it by having a schizophrenic episode in 2018, by committing arson, setting a barn on fire and getting arrested and placed in a psych ward. (Yes, this is all true. This is a news article about it.)

He was born in Catskill, New York. He doesn’t live in the city.

He’s said recently though, that he’s moved to Alaska, which is why he took a break from streaming.

His birth date is slightly confusing.

At first, I thought he was born in 1994, which would make him 31. I thought so because of this tweet, under the replies, people were saying that he was 30 years old.

But then in this tweet of this year, he said that he’s 30, and on one of his YouTube videos that he posted, it says he’s 30.

So I don’t know if he was born in 1994 or 1995. But I do know his birthday is January 14th.

This would make his zodiac sign, Capricorn, which he has stated on WoodsTown, specifically in the pilot episode.

He is 6’1.

He's a Calvinist Christian.

He mainly listens to rap music.

He started working out, via boxing, due to a fight he was challenged by John Dave Irving, who is an infamous superchatter of Nick’s and was even PT’s replacement co-host for one episode of WoodsTown on episode 8.

Since he’s started working out, you can see him gain more and more weight as the episodes of WT progress.

He’s co-hosted different shows in the past, with different people, one of them was called “WangTown” with Andrew Anglin.

His favorite sport is baseball.

His YouTube videos are the strangest yet most interesting thing I've seen in awhile.

I’ve noticed he likes animated movies where the characters are animals a lot (Fox and the Hounde, Over the Hedge & Zootopia being some he’s mentioned), plus he has a bunny as his profile picture on his Cozy page and a fox and a blue jay bird as his header.

The earliest tweet I found of Nick mentioning Paul Town was one from 2018.

PT doesn’t identify as a groyper, more so as just a friend of Nick.

He has a girlfriend whom he's had for a long time.

He infamously did a stream where he got very drunk in January 2023, where he threw up on himself and threatened Jaden McNeil very graphically in it. This incident, along with his arson crime, has been mentioned on the show multiple times.

On the show he has said he is into musicals.

PT said in the pilot episode, that if anything happens to the show, that it would be Keith’s fault, which unfortunately, did end up actually becoming true.

That is the end of my WoodsTown research! As for my personal thoughts on the show, I really enjoyed it! I think it was one of the rare occasions that you’d get to see Keith smile and laugh a lot, so I appreciate it for that on its own. I love Peith’s dynamic with each other, and I actually found the humor quite funny. I found myself laughing a lot at their awkward silences, but maybe I am just weird.

The only episode that I had a hard time watching was episode 18, & 8 which had a guest on, so it changed the dynamic to something I was not used to. Plus, the guest made things awkward to the point of cringeworthy, so I skimmed through a lot of those episodes.

My favorite episodes were episode 4, because Nick and NEITH! (≧▽≦) I am not lying when I say I revisit episode 4 all the time, re-watching the superchat segment in particular. And I loved episode 7! Easily the funniest and best episode if not for episode 4. I loved PT’s passive aggressive slights throughout the entire show, it was so funny, and Keith was being so playful in this one! Like he randomly decided to fake himself doing a freeze frame? Omg, I know it sounds so small, but for someone like him who is usually serious all the time, you just never see him act like that so, it was very enjoyable.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, if you did, and I hope you enjoyed this post! (^_^) ❤️

#keith woods #woodstown #paul town #peith #nfcu #nickblr #info post #long #fav

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loafthecat · 11 months ago

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Now I don’t have any drawing or anything planned for the anniversary-

But I do wanna express how much this game means to me personally-

Honestly, I don’t even remember what drew me into ctm, lol- I just remembered the series from some old play throughs and thought to give it a watch but- something about the game just made my brain want more of it-

So- I watched more playthroughs and comic dubs and animation memes, (even vine comps too-) I just- loved it- and from there it’s led me a lot of places-

Thsc was how I joined discord and met some of my best friends and some of greatest people I know! All my mutuals are really creative and nice- idk what I’d be doing without @emperorcandy or @rubianarosevine or @toxsradioactivelocks and ESPECIALLY without @randomgasleak because Leaky is one of the bestest, nicest friends I have- and I would seriously miss out on every fun lil conversation and infodump we have with eachother, getting to share my ocs with him is some of the most FUN I’ve had in my life- and i am seriously thankful to EVRYONE in Tox’s server for just- existing lol-

Also no I didn’t forget about- @kean-thebean or @savagepotat or @cybercypress24 or @lynplaque or stormy love yall too-))

Thsc led to me learning about more lgbtq+ identities that I didn’t even know of- in fact it helped me figure out my own identity and realise I was AroAce! So thanks for that-!

Thsc also helped and inspired me to improve my art!!!! Seeing the talent in this fandom made me wanna improve and develop an art style I truly love to draw with- and well- I did it!!!! I finally have an art style I LOVE to use and which actually looks good!!!! I can finally draw necks!!!! And no that was not something I could do before thsc- hm, funny because sticks don’t have necks technically so who would’ve thought-???

Continuing on from that, thsc is directly responsible for the creation of some of my FAVOURITE ocs!!!! Ollie, mitzy, mavy, Kapper, Tulip etc. heck- even ocs that while they ain’t sticcs or direct thsc ocs were INSPIRED by and influenced BY the game!!! (Lookin at you, Opal and Angus-) I especially have to gush about Ollie because I just LOVE him so much- who would’ve thought a BACKGROUND oc for a rp would become one of my main ocs today-? Not me that’s for sure-, I especially didn’t expect that I’d cry over how invested I am in him lol- I just love my lil gae sticc so much!!!!! He’s brought me so much joy, he’s helped me to vent out my problems- I just- I just- LOVE Ollie- lol- and I’m sure I’ll continue to do so even in future-

Thsc also introduced me to Dave panpa’s existence so everything is 100% worth it. I would die for this man, I want to platonically hug him and him and Rupert kiss kiss, I should know- I am the loaf of bread on their countertop!

And I guess last of all- I wouldn’t be on tumblr if it wasn’t for thsc. Thsc gave me the confidence to branch out and actually start using over websites aside from YouTube- it’s also how I joined discord and as I’ve said meet all my closest friends- sure- tumblr hasn’t always been the best at times but- I enjoy being here and while yes I’m not the most popular person here or even of note to some people- I’m still here right-? And I gotta thank thsc for that-

So in conclusion-

It is 23:24 pm at night- and my WiFi really didn’t like me finishing this- (it f^cked up THREE drafts of this that I had like wtf WiFi-????)

Now. Is this normal-? No, it probably isn’t normal to have a extreme obsession over a silli game about a sticc figure stealing shi- but shush I’m weird- and autistic it’s fine-

So yeah. Thanks thsc, and thank you puff for making the game.

You changed my life- for worse or for better take your pick-

#thsc #henry stickmin #the henry stickmin collection #henrystickmin #henry stickmin collection #oc tag #thsc oc #henry stickmin oc #rambles #meow meow daily loaf apprence lol #loaf speaking from the void #is this a love letter-? idk-#/:#eh-

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insertdisc5 · 2 years ago

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Devlog #16: Answers and Questions

Hello everyone! Welcome to this month’s devlog!

If you just stumbled upon this, I am Adrienne, also known as insertdisc5! I’m the developer, writer, artist, main programmer, etc of the game. The game being In Stars and Time, a timeloop RPG, which is also the next and final game in the START AGAIN series, following START AGAIN: a prologue (available here!). You can find out more about In Stars and Time here!!!

LET’S GET TO IT. This month is Q&A: Cohost edition!

“A Q&A again?” Heheh well I don’t have anything to talk about this month ✨ We’re working hard on finalizing the localization! And on porting to consoles! And on secret stuff! You know, the usual!!! Get excited!!! So, Q&A again 💖 And see, I asked questions for Q&As on Twitter. On Tumblr. On Discord. But some new social media platforms have entered the fray. SO.

Welcome to Q&A: Cohost edition. (Follow me on cohost and/or read this post I wrote about why I think cohost is neat teehee) (and follow me on bluesky if you want. I like it way less though. Sorry bluesky)

@ItsMeLilyV asks:

One of the bits of advice that gets tossed around by indie devs is to avoid making RPGs, especially for your first few games, because they tend to be large in scope, difficult to prototype, and easy to underestimate.

Was this ever a fear for you in making START AGAIN, or In Stars and Time? Did you take any special precaution to keep these games within a scope you could handle, and did you learn tricks from START AGAIN that carried over to ISAT when in came to keeping things manageable? Thank you!! ✨

I had no idea that was a piece of advice given, but yep, that makes a lot of sense! Since I didn’t know, I went in blissfully aware, teehee.

I will say that I am familiar with working on big projects from working on comics, and with seeing big webcomic artists always mention to never start with your magnum opus… And I could tell ISAT had the potential to be way bigger than I imagined, which is why I decided to start with creating the prologue to get used to RPGMaker as well as making games. Kind of a pilot of sorts!

Again, thanks to comics, I know to keep my scope pretty small, because even if you keep it small it WILL balloon into something way bigger than you thought. Just for the prologue, I imagined it’d be a 20mn game, and it’s easily a 2-3h one! Keep your scope small!!!

As for tricks, when I catch myself thinking “wow what if I added this cool thing”, I try to always keep in mind those two things: 1. How long will it take to implement (including bug testing), and 2. Does it add something important to the game. I know we always want to add a fishing game, or a fun minigame, but do you Need It. Does it add something substantial to the story, to the Themes. Or are you just adding it because you like fishing games. Which is a valid reason, but also, maybe just make a fishing game instead. You are not the Yakuza series!!!! You are a small indie gamedev!!!! Think about you in 4 months who has to fix all the fishing game bugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

@stem asks:

how is it to have a piece of art that's basically done (as far as i understand) that you can't share yet? like how do you personally bide the time until it's finally ready to release, or is it not really a challenge to wait? :0c

It’s so weird!!! The game has been done for so long!!! I’m very glad I asked some friends to playtest the game, so I could at least get some feedback before the game is out… In some ways it feels like the game will be done twice: once back when I finished making the game, and once when the game actually comes out. It’s just a very strange experience. Sometimes people tell me they’re excited to find out more about this story beat, or about this character, and a part of me is like… Wait, haven't you played the game? Oh, yeah, it’s not actually out. Guess you’ll find out later.

EDIT: My god. I just checked on my private devlog for when I completed the Alpha of ISAT. It was in August of last year (I lay down on the floor and look at the ceiling) (I still had to finish all the illustrations so really the game was Done Donezo in October but still…)

anon asked:

What role did Armor Games play in creating the final product?

SO MANY THINGS. Here are some of them: support when it comes to porting/marketing/social media/localization, feedback on the game and how to make it better, community guidance, testing support, QA/internal testing… The game couldn’t be the way it is without them.

For more small details, I have a weekly meeting with my producer, Dora! We talk about the game and how everything is going. A couple months back, I also was checking in with the internal QA team fairly often to fix any remaining bugs. They also helped me find ISAT’s additional programmer, Isabella, and she is a godsend because coding is hard. They also take care of communicating with press, finding more opportunities to showcase the game in conventions, talking with the localization/porting teams… I am probably forgetting a thousand little things they did to help out!!! THEY’RE SO GOOD OK

Anon asked:

So obviously the skills/spells/what have you are based off of Rock, Paper, Scissors. Did you design each "type" to be like a certain style? Rock being heavy damage and defense buffs, scissors being speed and quick attacks, like that?

Absolutely! I just went with the obvious. Rock is physical damage, defense focused, Scissors is swords, attack focused, and Paper is magic, mind focused. It was fun to develop a spell system around those! I’m excited for people to find out more about Craft…

@nickshutter asks:

I really loved START AGAIN (streamed it for a small handful of friends) and was super happy to hear about a follow-up! The cast is so much fun and their personalities are really well-balanced—did any of the characters change pretty drastically from their initial conception during development of the game?

I’m so glad you streamed it with friends… I hope you had a good fun time…

And for sure! Isabeau and Mirabelle were pretty set from the get go (himbo and shy wallflower), but Odile started as more of a gentle teacher type, even if I very quickly went the snarky old lady route. Siffrin and Bonnie were harder to pin down– I wasn’t sure how to portray Siffrin’s despair in the prologue, and started showing them more overtly depressed, but I thought it’d be Very Yummy to have them show a happy facade to their friends. And then, for ISAT, I had to figure out what a non-depressed Siffrin would be like, for the first couple acts of the game before the despair sets in. As for Bonnie, I had a lot of trouble figuring out what they’d be like, what kind of kid they were, what their relationship with everyone else would be like, and then I thought about what their past would be like and then their characterization was set in stone. Sometimes you need to figure out One Thing to unlock a character’s brain. I’m very excited for everyone to find out more about each character in ISAT!

@SuperBiasedGary asks:

What games (or other media) lit a fire under you to create your own?

It could be stuff you liked so much it inspired, something you found frustrating because you felt an itch to do it differently, or something that made you realise humans make things and you could be one of them.

I found a lot of indie games inspiring, but I think Umineko might’ve been the one that made me go… Oh, anyone can just make a massive video game narrative. And you can make it very simple, with kinda goofy sprites, and still manage to make an incredibly touching story!

As for frustrating games that lit a fire under me, I think I’d say in general, I found issue with the classic trope of the “main character helps people and doesn’t get anything back”. What often happens in some games is that you help NPCs with their problems, sometimes helping them with very intense, complicated problems! For a very long time! And, in exchange, you get… A cool item? A nice new skill? And that’s it?

I know this might be complicated to implement on a narrative perspective, but I remember playing Persona 5, and your character just went through a very harrowing experience (like, oh, being INTERROGATED AND TORTURED BY THE POLICE) and you help your friends during social links, and they go “thanks for your help! Bye~” like WHAT ABOUT ME. WHAT ABOUT MY PROBLEMS. CAN YOU GIVE ME A HUG

So on a certain level, I wanted a game where instead of the characters around you having problems, the main character also has problems. And is subconsciously screaming “CAN YOU PLEASE NOTICE I HAVE PROBLEMS AND GIVE ME A HUG.” And hopefully, the characters notice. Winks

Hm. I do want to say I wrote most of the prologue/ISAT during the pandemic, and I felt very lonely and not supported. But then guess what. I told my friends about how I felt. And most of them told me they had no idea, and vowed to support me more. And now I’m closer to them. So the moral of this answer is, yeah, it’d be nice if people noticed, but also, you need to tell people when you’re feeling bad. LOOKS AT SIFFRIN

Anon asked:

Is there a song you listen to in order to put yourself in the sasasa/ISAT mindset?

I have a whole playlist baybee. Before you ask: there aren’t any hidden meanings behind those song choices. It’s about the Mood, and also my personal tastes in music I listen to when I need to concentrate. I like songs that go WUB WUB

In no particular order, here are five random songs I played on repeat when making the prologue:

Future Club (Arcade Version) by Perturbator (in bold because this was THE song I listened to on repeat. I believe I gave it to Lindar for inspiration lol)

Arcades by C2C

Wake Me Up by Para One

The First Wish by DROELOE

Les Enfants du Paradis by World’s End Girlfriend

And here are five random songs I played on repeat for In Stars and Time:

Down by Chloe x Halle

Nonsense Bungaku by Eve

Non-Breathe Oblige by PinocchioP

Gentle Heart by Jamie Paige

Ready For The Floor by Hot Chip

It’s interesting, the songs I listened to for the prologue are generally more heavy and frenetic, while the ones for ISAT are more hopeful… I made sure to listen to more lively songs for ISAT, since that’s the feeling I wanted to give off…

That’s all the questions I have! In other, non related ISAT news, I have started a new project and having a lot of fun. It’s a visual novel this time. I’m hoping to get some screenshots ready in the next few months, but also I’m taking it easy on this one. If it takes years with many breaks in between to get it done, it’s fine. What matters to me right now is the process!

That’s all I have to say for today! Let me know if you have any questions, or if there’s any aspect of the game development struggle you’d like me to talk about! See you next time!!!

AND DON’T FORGET TO WISHLIST THE GAME ON STEAM ALSO IT REALLY HELPS BECAUSE STEAM’S ALGORITHM IS MORE LIKELY TO SHOW OFF GAMES WITH A HIGH AMOUNT OF WISHLISTS THAT’S THE REASON WHY GAME DEVS ALWAYS ASK TO WISHLIST!!! OKAY BYE!!!!

#in stars and time #start again start again start again #devlog #game dev #game development #indie game #indie dev #indie games #timeloop

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