#happy robin and hugh are back

[theno1joelhater]

i don’t have many thoughts on the new long form video (besides me being outraged by the fact that robin’s voting trump and that THEY WONT BE VOTING FOR EITHER BECAUSE THEYRE CANADIAN). here is a timothy and a hugh

[freeabortionslol]

Sassy Man Apocalypse (luke hughes x gf!reader)

summary: you and your bf luke finally have a night for yourselves after not seeing each other for two months, but your drunk friends decide to crash it

warnings! sassy luke (obvi), heated makeout, suggestive, mentions of alcohol, mentions of smoking, fluff, slightest bit of angst

a/n I feel like the makeout is so poorly written so pls ignore that. also I can just imagine luke being contributing to the sassy man apocalypse so I wanted to play off that. pls look up "himym robin Canucks" on yt so u understand what scene im talking abt. anyways happy reading!

wc: 2.5k

You and Luke were ready for a night in, just the two of you. He’d been in New Jersey for two weeks and you couldn’t handle missing him any longer. When he told you he was going to fly out to come visit you, you were nothing but ecstatic. Jumping up and down on the other line of the facetime as he laughed at you in joy. Now the two of you were lying on the couch watching How I Met Your Mother for the 6th time. It didn’t matter that you were sick of the show because all you could think of was the chest you were lying on. When Luke was away you missed him more than you cared to admit. The bed felt cold and empty without him by your side, but you were forever grateful that he was finally here. You were both cozied up on each other wearing hoodies and sweatpants. Your head lying on his chest while his hand gently stroked your back. Your arm was wrapped around his torso like he might leave if you were to let go. You started to feel your eyes close slightly at the comfort of the moment. Everything about it was perfect down to a T. Luke was watching the tv as he grabbed another handful of popcorn from the bowl on the coffee bowl. 

“Robin is so overdramatic. There’s no way the Canucks are THAT attractive.” He shook his head at the tv and you tilted your head to look up at him, stealing a kiss on his jawline.

“Well when a New Jersey Devil walked into my apartment this afternoon, my panties just about dropped so hard there was a hole in the floor halfway to China.” You smiled at him and he began to laugh slightly. Luke grabbed your chin and pulled you closer to him, so he could plant a kiss on your lips. It was soft and sweet at first, but deepened quickly. You pulled back for a moment, letting yourself get a couple of breaths in, but he quickly went back in. He firmly grabbed your waist, pulling you onto his lap to straddle. Your hand moved to the nape of his neck, running a finger through his hair. His tongue swiped your bottom lip, causing a slight moan to escape from the back of your throat. Luke took this as a signal to move his hands down to your ass, pulling you up closer to his groin. A groan escaped his lips when you moved your hips slightly against him. Your left hand moved further up his hair underneath his hood, while your right began to travel down to his chest. You tugged at his curls which caused him to move his hands back to your waist, flipping you over under him. With your legs wrapped around his waist pulling him closer, he removed his lips from yours to begin placing a trail of wet kisses down your neck. You had one hand tangled in his hair, with the other clawing at his back for more attention. He wanted to tease you, make you want it more than you already did. His hand started to make its way up your shirt when he found the sweet spot on your neck. A very soft “Luke” leaving your lips as he began teething at your skin, letting his hand trail up to your breast. You gave him a noise that he knew was only reserved for him as you grew hungry for his touch. Just as the moment was growing more intense by the second, you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You decided to ignore it, and Luke started slowly pulling your sweatshirt off. You were both entranced in each other as you felt him pulling up the cloth on your bare skin, until you felt your phone buzz about ten more times. As much as you wanted to let him keep going you let out a quiet “Stop.” Luke’s lips leaving your neck in an instant as he buried his head into your shoulder in defeat.

“What is it?” He groaned out clearly frustrated. You pulled your phone out of your front pocket, to see ten new messages from your best friends Amelia and Maddy. 

Mads: dronk dronk dronk need ride and warm bed

Meels: lorst my shnoes feet hurrrtttttt

Mads: pleeeeeaaassseeeee we are downtown and no money for uber 

You pointed the phone towards Luke to show him the several messages you’d been sent. He scoffed at the sight, and buried his face further into your neck.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” He whined and let out a frustrated groan. A part of you wanted to ignore the messages and let him dive into you, but you knew if you were drunk in the city at one in the morning with nowhere to stay, you’d be scared. Without having to ask, Luke got off you and stood up holding his hand out for you to take. 

“Baby, I can go alone if you want. I’ll just find them a shitty hotel or something.” You said with a tone of sympathy as you let him pull you off the couch. You gave him puppy eyes hinting at the fact that you did not want to go alone.

“You think I'd let you go out in the city at night alone? You’re crazy.” He gave you a smirk and held his grip to your hand as he walked to the front door, grabbing your car keys on the way out. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The drive to downtown only took about seven minutes. Luke was settled in the driver's seat with his hood up. One hand gripping the steering wheel, and the other rested in yours on the center console. He pulled into a street parking spot to wait for the two girls. You sent them a message letting them know you were there. The car was quiet for the most part, the soft sounds of Lord Huron playing from the radio, but that all changed when the backseat door opened. Amelia and Maddy were laughing relentlessly about something stupid probably. The car quickly filled with the stench of cigarette smoke and tequila. Luke gave me a glance that said “Save me” and I returned an apologetic smile.

“LUUKKEEEE I DIDN’T KNOW YOU WERE COMING!” Amelia screamed in a way that echoed throughout the car.

“Can you please use your inside voice? You’re making my ears bleed.” Luke stared only out the front windshield, earning a loud laugh from Amelia in the backseat. He tightened the grip on the steering wheel, slowly rubbing circles on your hand as he pulled out of the parking spot. You turned around to face the drunk girls while they recapped their night which was filled with sugary shots and random makeouts with nameless men. Luke drove in silence while you giggled with the girls. You laughed at how drunk they managed to get in the span of two hours, but Luke was clearly not amused. 

“Luke, I'm hungry. Can we stop at Taco Bell?” Maddy slurred through her sentence, letting her tongue out of her mouth for a slight dry heave.

“No. We have food at the apartment.” His speech flattened, clearly annoyed.

“But I haven’t eaten all day and I want a crunch wrap.” She whined as she kicked her feet against his seat, which earned you a death stare from Luke. You only shrugged at him.

“I’m not responsible for your eating habits, Madeleine.” Maddy let out a frustrated grown, slouching back into her seat. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Getting the girls into a house was more of a challenge than the two of you expected it to be. Maddy marched in perfectly, but Amelia was so stubborn and felt that her seat in the car was more comfortable than wherever you intended to move her. Luke slung his arm around her waist, letting her fall limp onto him, while you placed a hand on her back worrying that she’d manage to fall over. When the four of you entered the apartment, Luke immediately let go of Amelia, already annoyed by her presence. The two girls ran to the kitchen with you and Luke following close behind. Maddy found herself settled on the countertop while Amelia began to rummage through the cabinets. Luke sat on a barstool at the kitchen island and you claimed the spot standing next to him. He pulled out his phone and opened instagram, trying to distract himself from the loud girls, screaming in his girlfriend’s kitchen. You placed a hand on his back, slowly rubbing circles around the fabric of his hoodie. Luke tilted his glance from his phone to see Amelia pulling his favorite bag of chips out of the cabinet.

“No. Those are mine.” He gave her a stare that could kill. She turned around slamming the bag of chips on the counter, giving him a disgusted look.

“So, you say there’s food at the house, but we can’t eat it.” A slight sassy tone to her voice. Luke nodded his head with eyes widened, as he bit on his bottom lip. Amelia rolled her eyes and placed “his” bag of chips back into the cabinet. You gave him a slight nudge to which he looked over to. You gave him a look that sent him the memo “don’t be a dick” and he heard it loud and clear. Luke sighed and put his hands over his face.

“Why don’t we just order a pizza?” He muffled through his hands. The two girls started cheering, jumping up and down. You smiled at him before running to your bedroom to get your laptop. When you returned, Luke held out his hands signaling you to give it to him. He placed the laptop on the counter and started typing into the search engine. You wrapped your arms around him, resting your head on his shoulder while looking at the laptop screen. You could smell his cologne coming off his neck, and in all honesty it made you wish your friends never called. 

“Luke, what's your venmo?” Maddy asked from the counter, earning a big grin from luke.

“I got it.” He said as he smiled and nodded his head like he was the hero that saved everyone. Amelia clapped her hands in joy, as you planted a kiss on his cheek whispering “Love you Lukey.” into his ear which made him blush profusely. 

“We got that NHL card paying for our food tonight.” Maddy shouted, holding her hand out to Amelia for a high five. Luke responded with a triumphant fist to the air. You could tell that even though he wanted it to just be the two of you, a part of him was having fun with your friends. When Luke closed the laptop after ordering the pizza, you sat down at the stool next to him. You grabbed his hand and began tracing over his fingers with your thumb. The scent of liquor and cigarettes had been replaced by your pumpkin spice candle that was centered on the island as the night began to quiet down.

“Hey Luke, are there any hot guys on your team?” Amelia asked, raising her eyebrows at him.

“Uh I guess some of them are good looking.” He said, not looking up from his phone.

“Can you set me up with one of them?” She gave a mischievous smile at Luke whose eyes were still glued to the instagram reel he was watching.

“No.” He deadpanned.

“What? Whyyyy?” Amelia groaned and let her shoulders slump.

“Because I would never want to put them through that.” Amelia’s mouth gaped wide open as you and Maddy giggled at Luke's comment. You could see a slight smile creeping up on Luke’s face which relieved you, knowing that he wasn’t entirely miserable.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

After about twenty minutes, the pizza had arrived and the four of you were now in the kitchen snacking on the greasy food Luke and graciously paid for. The four of you were casually throwing jokes around, most of Luke’s being at Amelia’s expense. He thought it fit best knowing that she had come in and ruined your perfect night in. Maddy was still sitting on the counter with a plate under her slice. She tried to eat without one, but Luke made sure that no pizza sauce was going to get on the linoleum you had moped earlier that day. When Luke finished his slice, his hand made its way to your thigh, painting figures with his thumb. You decided since everyone was finishing up with their food, and it was almost three in the morning, it was time to discuss sleeping arrangements. You told the girls that they would either have to share the love seat in the living room, or make a palette on the floor.

“What? Are you kidding? We both can’t fit on that couch, and there’s no way you’re gonna make us sleep on the hardwood floor.” Maddy whined from her spot on the counter.

“Yeah, we thought we were gonna sleep on the floor in your room, or we’re you guys gonna fuck?” Amelia finished the bite of her pizza crust as she spoke, and Luke returned a deadpan stare.

“Well we were planning on it.” She groaned at Luke’s response and you gave him a playful smack to the shoulder. “But I guess anything fucking goes with the two of you.” Luke crossed his arms in frustration. The girls grew smiles as you leaned your head into Luke’s shoulder, giving his arm a squeeze. 

You and Luke made your way to the hallway closets rummaging for blankets and pillows for the girls, and threw them into the room. Luke insisted they had to set it up themselves since he’d already done enough for them tonight. The girls shuffled into the room already on the floor setting up their palette, and you made yourself comfortable in the bed. You flopped onto Luke, resting your head into the crook of his neck while your arms wrapped around him. He grabbed the remote and turned How I Met Your Mother on the bedroom tv. The same episode you had been watching earlier. As the show began to play in the background, you planted a kiss on his neck and whispered a “Thank you.”

“If this is how I get to end my night, I will take care of your drunk friends all the time.” You gave him a smile and he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead. You let yourself fall into a deep slumber as Luke stroked his hand up and down your arm. The quiet noise of the tv playing in the background, and the subtle laughs of your best friend’s from the floor, you wouldn’t have it any other way.

“I get it. When I see Luke’s brother, my panties drop harder than that.” Maddy let out during the same scene you and Luke had watched earlier.

“Shut the fuck up. Go to sleep.” Luke said as his eyes started to flutter shut, at the feel of your breath on his neck soothing him to sleep.

[femtoddanderson]

behind the scenes

Steve harrington x Cinephile! reader

Summary: You work at the movie theater at the starcourt mall and Steve at scoops ahoy, you guys were always just the babysitters but what if you were more?

wc: 1.2k

note: this is my first post and blurb in over 2 years but im having fun again so expect a pt. 2

"I swear if anyone hears about this-"

"we're dead"

-

you glance at your watch and sigh as you stand by the the delivery access door with your foot against it to keep it ajar. they're five minutes late and at this rate they'll miss the iconic opening of the day of the dead. A opening you don't want to miss either; the seconds tick away as you contemplate ditching them to watch it for the third time by yourself or going back to your job of sweeping up theater two. And just at that moment you hear the growing bickering coming from the door.

you dip your head back into the hallway and glare.

"Hey! you're late!"

the group scurries in as you hold the door, "I swear if you make me miss this movie-"

"We're dead" the respond somewhat apologetically.

You all file into a row and take a seat. will unzips the backpack and begins passing out the snacks they smuggled in with them. You sigh and turn the other way to at least have plausible deniability. The projector whirs up and you lean to your right and bite your cheek in anticipation; you turn youre head already grinning as you watch them jump in their seats and the title card fades in.

-

“Hey are you ready to go?”

“Uh yep” robin responds as she closes the cash register.

“Robin your leaving? We still have 5 minutes until closing,” Steve responds exasperated.

“My ride is leaving so I’m leaving goodnight loser!”

You and Rob walk out and you say your goodbye: “have fun taking the kids home!”

You turn back walking towards the parking lot, and you hear a loud groan coming from the counter causing you two giggle with arms interlocked.

-

You and Steve bound because of the kids. But most of all Dustin. You were his real babysitter by choice and Steve was his babysitter by force.

Despite how much Dustin may claim he doesn’t need a babysitter, whenever the world was coming to an end you and Steve were there. And now you were there to welcome him home from his genius camp. You and Steve hung back watching el and them creep down the hallway to surprise him.

“So what are you doing tonight?” Steve attempts to break the silence coolly.

“Not much, me and rob are gonna see weird science supposed to be good…I mean it’s John Hughes,”

“Huh yeah so what is that like you’re 20th movie of the summer?”

“And what you’re going on your 20th date of the summer?”

“Ha, yeah I wish…no I’m working tonight” he looks back down to his feet.

Dustin’s voice grew louder as he walked down the hallway. “This camp was awesome it had an observatory, a billion telescopes, endless access to computers…” you’d never tell him but you missed hearing his geeky rants.

He finally acknowledges you and Steve’s presence when he reached the living room

“Hey I missed you guys so much. I even used the lady moves you taught me to get my girlfriend!”

There was a universal shock felt by everyone except Dustin. Girlfriend? You’ve barely been on one date and your little dork has a girlfriend?

“Oh you guys wanna meet her?” He grins as he leads the group out of the door.

“We’d love to dust but me and Steve have work, we’re happy you’re home”

“Yeah welcome home bud” Steve follows up as Dustin grins and shuts the door following his friends into the woods.

You mouth “girlfriend?”. He mouths back “lady moves?” with a genuine confused face.

You slap his arm laughing a little and open the door. He follows you to your respective cars.

“Hey if you’re not doing anything after work you should come see the movie with me and Robin it will be fun.”

He fixes his hair, “yeah maybe I’ll check my schedule” he says so not nonchalantly.

You chuckle a little considering five minutes ago he had nothing going on.

“Okay cool” you grin slightly, ducking into your car and turning your key.

-

You look up from your three ticket stubs to find Robin and Steve walking towards you, albeit totally engrossed in their conversation. the quarreling ends when they greet you with a sighing 'hi'.

"You came," you meet his eyes grinning.

"yeah I guess I made some time in my schedule," he responds cheekily, matching your grin.

Rob gawks at the locked eye contact between you too and takes it upon herself to break it up. "alright come on if I dont get cherry in the next 30 seconds I will kidnap one of your nerd kids to build me a new superhuman hot best friend".

You laugh at the reference and go to catch up with her. you look behind to find the joke to have gone over his head but following regardless causing you to laugh harder.

The three of you settle into your seats with your cold drinks and candy, all legally bought, and pass the popcorn around and the light dimming. It came as a surprise to Steve that you and robin were so vocal during the movie. Steve found a you he had never seen as he heard your laughs and jokes. For the first time this summer he had actually felt like he was having fun. He liked the movie but realized how much more fun everything can be with friends.

-

"okay lots of questionable character choices but feminism aside soundtrack 4.5/5, cinematography 3/5, and action 3.5/5 " you genuinely critic the absurd john hughes movie walking into the cool summer night's air.

Robin responds unprompted, "Um its a 5/5 on soundtrack, 2.5 on cinematography, and like a 3 on acting I mean what are they like 14? i dont know...what do you rate it Steve."

Steve had been visibly tuned out and was also confused by the conversation it seemed you two have had dozens of times. He scratches the space right above his ear. "It was good probably like a 4/5."

there was a silence of you and robin expecting more and exchanging a look confusingly. a honk came from behind.

"oh shit thats my mom, bye guys" she spits out quickly as she jogs to her moms chevy. "night" "bye" you and Steve respond.

He walks you to your car and you lean against it looking at his hazel eyes in the dim parking lot light. And he looks back at you in the same content way he did earlier in the night.

"I'm happy you came," you break the silence.

"I'm happy you invited me...movies are more fun with you guys"

"Oh yeah?" A smile begins to spread across your lips.

"more fun than I've had in a while actually," he steps in closer.

"Well I guess we'll just have to hang out more often" Your eyes flicker between his lightly tussled hair, his entrancing eyes. Your breaths get shallower.

"Yeah I would like that," he speaks in a tone only you and him could hear. A light breath bouncing off the tip of your nose.

[delayed-affection]

20

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Lhughes_06

Liked by _alexturrcotte and 24,628 others

Lhughes_06 happy bday sorry we couldn’t celebrate together this year see you soon ❤️

Tagged: y/n.Hughes

View comments…

User9 all realness Luke her post was better 🫤

G.brindley4 Happy birthday to my two favorite people

Nolan_moyle Quite the caption Luke

Jacob_truscott20 Definitely put his heart and soul into it

Y/n.Hughes See you soon Lukeyyyy ❤️

Liked by Lhughes_06

User7 Expected nothing more from you

owenpower_ Party hard for her

Lhughes_06 I’ll leave that up to Jack

Seamuscasey26 twin powers are peaked rn

_Alexturcotte Baby Hughes’ are finally 20

User8 Y’all are really two different people

Jackhughes mermaid man and barnacle boy

Lhughes_06 batman and robin

Y/n.Hughes Mario and Luigi

_quinnhughes Donkey and Shrek

User0 🎊Happy birthday🎊

Mbeniers10 Short and sweet

User2 Happy birthday you two 🥰

Y/n.Hughes

Liked by Seamuscasey26 and 19,738 others

Y/n.Hughes Spent my first day being 20 with some of my best friends 🥳

Tagged: Edwards.73, Dylanduke25, Markestapa, mackie.samo

View comments…

Jackhughes Happy birthday stinky

Y/n.Hughes Thanks smelly

User6 Happy birthday!!

Lhughes_06 but like I’m your best best friend right

Y/n.Hughes Behind Quinn

Lhughes_06 just say yes dude

Y/n.Hughes Yes you’re my best best friend

Edwards.73 The prettiest birthday girl

Liked by Y/n.Hughes

_quinnhughes Big 2-0

User4 Wait who’s older you or Luke?🧐

Trevorzegras They grow up so fast 🥲

Markestapa Ran up the bill cause she knew she wasn’t paying

Y/n.Hughes It was Ethan’s fat ass not me

Edwards.73 you think my ass is fat

Dylanduke25 National Goat Day 🐐

User5 Happy birthday to the pretty Hughes

Taglist: @calesmaker @huggybearluvr @daveyjoneshat @jayda12 @sweetestdesire @dasiysthings @kiarabellerum31 @loveforaugust @thequeenofaces @girls-and-guts

[astorytotellyourfriends]

For the WIP thing: Youth Pastor and/or Speed dating please

ok so i wrote the first two chapters of the youth pastor au a couple months ago and then kinda lost the spark for it but then i watched heretic a lil while back and WEIRDLY it inspired me again??? hugh grant's character is very much a source of inspo for eddie (but way way less creepy i promise) and here's a lil peek:

The sharp pain of an elbow to her ribs snaps Chrissy out of her daydream and she whips her head to look at Heather, who’s attempting to hide a smirk. “You’re drooling,” she whispers. “I am not,” Chrissy hisses, her face blooming with a traitorous blush as she turns her attention back to Eddie. Don’t get distracted, don’t get distracted. Just pay attention. Listen to what he’s saying.

i haven't decided what decade the speed dating au is set in but i'm feeling probably the mid-90s because that seems right? anyway, robin is in charge of the whole thing and she sets it up at eddie's bar much to his chagrin (he begrudgingly admits it boosts business ok but he's not happy about it) and he has absolutely no intention of ever signing up to be a part of it ... until chrissy walks in 😉

ask me about my wips

[ladykailitha]

Royal Pain: Epilogue

I know I said I would hold off posting until the Christmas story was completed, but this one literally had one chapter left and it felt rude to make you wait for it.

Happy boys!

Pt 1 Pt 2 Pt 3 Pt 4 Pt 5 Pt 6 Pt 7 Pt 8 Pt 9 Pt 10 Pt 11 Pt 12 Pt 13 Pt 14 Pt 15 Pt 16 Pt 17 Pt 18 Pt 19 Pt 20 Pt 21 Meta Pt 22 Pt 23 Pt 24|Pt 25|Pt 26|Pt 27|Pt 28

****

Six months later:

They were having a holiday plus everyone celebrating something awesome party.

It was held at Steve and Eddie’s new house. Steve had decided to move out the apartment and buy a house now that the business was so successful. And on their six month anniversary, Steve asked Eddie to move in with him.

It had two studios. A music one for Eddie, where he could write songs and the boys could practice so that they no longer had to rent out that garage.

The second one was for Steve to get his art degree. He was still running Royal Pain, but wanted to learn new styles and techniques that would help him become a better tattoo artist.

Chrissy, Robin, and Vickie had also moved into together, but into a bigger apartment that had three rooms so that they could all have their own space, but still remain a committed polycule.

Argyle and Chrissy were both full time tattoo artists, leaving time for Steve to go back to school.

Robin was going back to school, too. To become a translator.

Eden and Argyle were still a couple and expecting their first child in the summer.

Nancy and Jonathan remained broken up, with Nancy in therapy and Jonathan dating a friend of Miranda’s.

Jeff and Miranda were getting married in February, the reception to be held at the Nightmare Holes.

Mike and Will were official now, too and were in talks to move in together. They were trying to decide to move to Will’s apartment, Mike’s, or a find another apartment all together. One that was both their space.

Erica had moved to New York to be with Max and Lucas. But all of them were in town for the party. Having planned it around when the Knicks would be in town.

Hopper was loving Eden as his apprentice, hers almost being up. He was eyeing the first of the year to promote her.

Brian came out as ace and that Cecil was his platonic life partner and had been for the last couple of years.

Gareth and Gethin were still sharing the apartment, but they were still single. Gethin was always looking for the next Mrs Hughes, but Gareth was content to find out more about himself before diving into a relationship.

Dustin and Suzie were also expecting, but they had just found earlier that week.

The Binghams were so excited that two of their daughters were pregnant and were planning to come up in the summer to help with Eden’s baby and help Suzie get ready for hers.

They were all gathered around in the kitchen with a package that Murray had sent over that morning.

“Come on, Ed,” Wayne said softly. “Open ‘er up.”

Eddie nodded and tore the brown paper off the gift. He let out a choked out sob.

Steve put his arm around Eddie’s shoulder.

“Oh sunshine,” Steve breathed. “Show everyone.”

Eddie nodded and lifted it over his head so everyone could see.

There in a black frame and nestled in a white background was a gold record for their song, Pretty Boy Under Bright Lights. The first love song Eddie ever wrote for Steve. And it had just sold its five hundred thousand copy.

They all started cheering.

Steve kissed Eddie’s cheek fiercely. “See? I knew you could do it on your terms, Eds. You are a rockstar now.”

Tears ran down his cheeks nodding his head. Then he was surrounded by his band. They were hugging him and cheering.

Sometimes it really does work out for everyone. Even if didn’t happen the way they thought it would.

Eddie thought back to that day so long ago when Max had called him to let him know that she was leaving. He never thought that losing a tattoo artist would change his life forever.

Later that night, he pulled her aside.

“I owe you big time, Red,” he said, wrapping his arm around her.

Max grinned. “Hell yeah you do.”

“Anything you want, you’ve got,” Eddie promised. “My left kidney. My first child.”

She laughed. “When you two get married, I want to do matching tattoos on both of you.”

Eddie blinked. “Deal!”

Steve wandered over just then. “What’s a deal?”

Max grinned up at him. “Eddie just promised me that I get to do wedding tats when you two get married.”

Steve looked at Eddie and then back to Max. “Yeah, that’s fair.”

Max nodded once. “Damn straight it is.”

“Oh, honey,” Eddie teased. “There ain’t nothing straight about this relationship.”

She smacked his arm.

But Eddie just giggled.

“Come on,” Max said. “I want to see it.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “You saw it on my Insta.”

“It’s not the same and you know it,” she growled. “I want to see Steve’s masterpiece.”

Steve blushed. “Come on, Max...”

Eddie looked at his blush and then turned to Max. “Fine. But here and not out there where everyone can gawk.”

“Well, duh,” she said. “That’s why I asked now.”

Eddie took off his shirt and turned around.

“Oh shit,’ she hissed. “It’s even better than the pictures give it credit. Steve, this is incredible. There’s no way I could have done something like that.”

Steve ducked his head. “I really really like how it turned out.”

Eddie put his shirt back on. “Yeah. Me too. I just don’t like showing it off, because it’s so personal. Between me and Steve.”

Max nodded. “Yeah. Absolutely. Thanks for showing me.”

Eddie nodded back and wrapped his arms around, Steve. “Thanks for everything, Red.”

She waved them off. All she had done was leave. But they didn’t see it that way. So yeah, they owed everything to Max, for choosing to live her life on her own terms.

“Before we go back to the party,” Steve said. “I wanted to give you another present before we got to the main one later.”

Eddie’s shoulder sagged. “Babe you didn’t have to do that.”

“I wanted to,” Steve said scratching his cheek. “In fact it was something I’ve been meaning to give to you for a long time.”

He pulled out a brightly wrapped package the size of baseball.

“This isn’t a baseball, is it?” Eddie asked playfully.

Steve laughed. “No. It’s not that.”

Eddie removed the wrapping paper to find a small black velvet box. He opened it slowly.

“Babe, you can’t give this to me,” he begged. “This is the only thing you have left of your grandpa.”

Steve took it out and slid it on Eddie’s middle finger on his right hand. It fit perfectly. “I’ve been wanting you to have it since you gave me your lucky guitar pick. I wanted to give you something that was on the same level of importance to me that this was for you.” He tapped the pick gently that was under his shirt.

“It’s not–you’re not–”

Steve shook his head. “I will propose. Just not yet and not with that. You’ll get a ring on your left hand, sunshine. Make no mistake.”

Eddie nodded. “I love you, babe.”

“Steven Courtney Alexander Harrington you better not be making out in there!”

Eddie and Steve laughed and kissed deeply, then they walked back to the party, arms wrapped around each other.

“Right names, wrong order,” Eddie teased as they rejoined the group.

Robin blinked. “Wait, really?”

Steve nodded.

“I can’t believe you told him before you told me!” Robin hissed. “I was here first!”

“But I liked watching you guess,” he said laughing. Then he turned to the rest of the crowd. “Who told?”

Robin wiggled her shoulders smugly. “No one told me. I looked up your grandparents. They’re both pretty famous, after all.”

Steve sighed. “Again which of you told her to look it up?”

Robin’s jaw dropped and Vickie’s hand slowly went up.

“Traitor!” Robin said in mock outrage.

Eddie leaned down to see that Steve was pouting about her learning his middle name.

“Don’t worry about it, babe,” he said kissing Steve’s cheek. “We can make her guess my middle name.”

Steve immediately brightened up. “Oohhh. Yeah, okay. It’ll take her years to guess yours!”

“It’s Wayne,” Robin said confidently.

Wayne snorted from the corner. “You really think my deadbeat brother would name his son after me, the responsible one?”

She frowned.

Steve turned to Eddie gleefully. “You’re right, sunshine. Best game ever.”

Robin started shouting out names and it wasn’t even Eddie correcting her. It was Jeff, and Miranda, and Gareth, and Brian and everyone else who knew Eddie’s middle name.

And of course Steve knew it too, but he liked watching their friends and family laugh and try to guess. Because the truth was, Eddie didn’t have a middle name. Robin could guess forever and never get it right.

Steve curled up against Eddie’s side and sighed happily. It was his best year yet. And as long as he had Eddie by his side, they would all be great years to come.

END

****

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[okartichoke]

hi artichoke i hope you’re having a fun holiday season! I kinda want to hear more about ace avian but don’t want to make you grind so you are free to infodump or sketchdump whatever you want here that wouldn’t really fit in other posts just for fun.

um getting self conscious right now but I know pretty much everyone likes asks so gonna send this right now :D happy holidays!

hi rosie !! my holidays are so chill i am having a blast <33 hope you're having a good month too ! i am glad you asked! i am going to use this opportunity to share all the bird choices that were requested that i never ended up drawing!:

Athena Cykes: Golden Masked Owl - @/modpoppy helped with his one. Owl is so perfect to me because Athena (goddess of wisdom who has an association with owls) (also just wisdom being associated with owls). Owls have exceptional hearing! They also have ears that are non symmetrical, allowing them to pinpoint where sounds are coming from more accurately, which to me matches Athena's ability to read the emotion of a voice.

Gumshoe: Rock Dove (Pigeon) - these birds are historically trained, good sense of direction, and ones that live in cities are constantly eating crumbs (skull emoji x3)

Redd White: Peacock - I got a few recommendations for a bald eagle, which I totally see the vision for ! But to me, he is a peacock for sure. Pompous as all get out, flashy, show off.

Juniper Woods: Warbling White Eye - pretty green bird, often carries connotations of spring. another idea for her wasa mourning dove. this one is kinda just vibes

Robin Newman: I'm not super decided but maybe a type of kingfisher?

Hugh O'Conner: He gives me such raven vibes but, spoiler alert, Kay is 100000% a raven. If I'm trying not to have duplicates, i'm less sure. A crane hawk, maybe?

Kay Faraday: Raven - In Shinto mythology, I think that Yatagarasu is depicted as a three-legged crow? However, I'm pretty sure in the aa games Kay calls it a 3-legged raven. But if I'm wrong about this please feel free to correct me! Either way it is her x3

Spark Brushel: I never decided for Spark. I was thinking maybe a swallow or a seagull? Swallow because fast, energetic, fits the reporter who always is first to a story vibe. Seagull fits that latter idea, but also has seagull charm x333

Vera Misham: I am not sure of this one either. I know I want a small bird, and one where the males are brighter than the females, like how her dad was the face of their operation, like a songbird, maybe a finch or a bunting. Not sure of specifics.

Okay and then TGAA characters !! I ended up not yet finishing the second game :pensive: so some are missing

Ryuunosuke: Black-Billed Magpie - I also want to switch Phoenix to this one for consistency's sake. This is a lot of the same reasoning as Phoenix being a blue jay originally, so check back to that post if you want more reasoning. (jays and magpies are closely related). Coloration was a big factor in this decision, but also i like the myth that a lone magpie will bring badluck and how that works with the naruhodo family.

Sholmes: a fewwww ideas... though admittedly all vibes. I've racked my brain for him. A pheasant is one way to go. I think my favorite idea is a chicken (golden comet chicken). This is for similar reasons as @\modpoppy gave for buff orpington chicken Bobby Fulbright (that being friendly; golden retriever of birds). If not chicken.. sholmes still feels like a game bird to me..... solely vibes....

Stongheart: golden pheasant LMAOO i don't know why this guy got a bird in my mind before kazuma or susato or iris or etc,,, but he did. good for him. I just think its fits.

That is all i have! once again sorry from myself 2 months ago for not finishing these requests x33 i hope everyone who sent something in sees this text post lol

[cream0fwheat1998]

Girl from the Band 1 (Yandere!Jason Carver x Band Geek!Reader)

WARNINGS: dark, yandere, non-consensual intimacy (next chapter), maybe death (haven't decided yet), violence

This was random but honestly I think Mason Dye is a very handsome man so I really wanted to make a Jason Fanfic

Alternate AU but still 80's, No upside down fantasy stuff.

(Y/N) held her trumpet at attention while during the anthem which was sung by a previous student that has since graduated. Y/n rolled her eyes; she remembered Tammy Thompson from a science class long ago.

"This girl has no talent, why are they letting her perform?" y/n said under her breath but a laugh to her left caught her attention.

Robin Buckley shook her head with a smile on her face. For some reason, this made y/n feel warm. She was happy that she had made someone smile, even though she barely knew Robin and Robin's group of odd-ball friends outside of band.

How weird that Robin hung out with Steve Harrington; a man that graduated last year but still hang out with high school kids. Y/n shook her head, feeling sour at her own bitchy thoughts. People are allowed to have friends and just because she didn't have any, didn't mean she could judge everyone else for it.

When the game ended, all of the Hawkins Students fled to the courtroom to celebrate with the Basketball team on their win. Specifically, everyone cheered for Lucas Sinclair who'd made the winning shot and even though Y/n wasn't much of a participator; she found herself cheering along with her classmates.

It was until an object bounced infront of her, pulling y/n out of her own daze. A basketball had flown its way to her and one of the players rushed to her to collect it.

Jason Carver was a handsome guy. A classically handsome highschool athlete you'd see in any John Hughes movie. Y/n felt her cheeks warm at the thought of him coming towards her, looking her in the eye. It was an intimate feeling that she wasn't use too. She felt weak not wanting to look him in the eye but felt she lacked the type of beauty he'd want to look at.

"Sorry about that; it's the championship game-ball and we lost it in the celebration." Jason said, grabbing the ball from y/n's feet.

His voice was deep and warm; his damp hair sticking to his moist skin reminded her of a model posing by the sea. He was a dream and she lived in reality.

"It's okay." Y/n said, staring at the ground. She didn't feel like making eye contact.

Jason chuckled while heading back to his team; he'd seen this girl before but had no interest moving forward; his girlfriend was the queen of Hawkins High anyway. Chrissy Cunningham. For some reason, she was nowhere to be seen since the ending of the game.

The following week, Y/n had noticed Jason's demeanor change. Once a confident, prideful man to callous, irritated ass. You'd think he'd be at his best since the big win but instead he's acting like he lost completely. In Jason's perspective; he did.

Chrissy Cunningham had been hand in hand with one of Jason's basketball friends down the hallway. Clearly, they were still in the honey moon stage of their affair. It wasn't an adult kind of affair; Chrissy had broken up with Jason the night of the game for someone who'd swept her off her feet in his absence.

Y/n kept her opinions to herself, even during lunch when the loud whispers from all the lunch room increased at either Jasons or Chrissy's appearance. However, even with an increased attitude Jason kept his cool. He had to; his reputation depended on it. Sure, his first real love tore out his heart and stomped on it on what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of his life; but he considered himself the man of the school. He'd be damned if he didn't hold his head up high and looked for a replacement soon.

If Chrissy could move on within seconds, so could he. He felt himself getting heated; looking at the other girls in the school. While they werent Chrissy, he knew he could find someone to love him just as much. There were 2 obstacles;

There was only 1 Chrissy Cunningham.

He'd have to pick someone who respected his position as top-dog but it seemed like most of the girls in school were laughing at him now.

It was Study Hall. Y/n had been planning out an idea. She didn't want to graduate this year without doing something new and had been researching DnD for the past few months. There was a Dnd club called Hellfire ran by an eccentric classmate of hers' Eddie Munson. Yeah he was cute too. But Y/n didn't WANT to think about that; she just wanted to do what she wants and then graduate. Don't cause attention, don't put yourself out there. Those were her rules.

However; it wasn't up to her to not stand out as Jason Carver had remembered her genuine shyness from gameday. It was cute and honest. So many girls in school pretend to be cool or bitchy to seem higher class without realizing that they were just unpleasant rather than interesting.

Looking at her, Jason really believed there was something there and was determined to make her his arm piece for the rest of the year. In the deepest parts of his mind he decided y/n had no choice.

part 2

[supaserajupiter]

In justice we truuuust~

I recently finished ‘Turnabout Academy’ and omggg it is one of my favorite third cases!!! I loved all the characters and I’m gonna scream about it under this cut because there will be ✨spoilers✨

So, first of all, the cast and story for this case is S rank! I love all the twists and the comedy in this one is great~!

I was so shooketh to see Junie as a student here!!! She wanted to be a judge?! But she was so shy in Turnabout Countdown! And look at her here, so confident and…distant?! Girl, why are you giving Thena the cold shoulder? 🥺 and I was totally suspicious of Hugh and Robin from the jump. I initially thought they killed Constance and roped Junie into helping them hide the body. The way I was waaaaay off 😂😂😂

Aristotle Means is my favorite villain! One look at him and him being a little too nice and I knew he was in on the murder! But more on him later.

Ok, so when they said a famous prosecutor was going to give a lecture, I had assumed they were talking about Edgeworth! I forgot all about Klavier 😅 but listennnn, Edgeworth wears fuchsia just like Klavier and Phoenix was the other lecturer, so I just assumed it had to be Edgeworth! But it was so nice to see Klavier again! And it’s so nice that he’s still flirting with Apollo 🤧

Day 1 of the trial was crazy!!!! Once again, I was completely off with where I thought they were going with Robin. I thought we were getting a transgender character! But now Robin is free to be the girly girl she really is 😭 *smashes a vase*

I thought I really believed Hugh was the killer (and his attitude wasn’t helping) the whole time tho..he was such a jerk, but by the time of the second day of the trial rolled around, turns out he was just an idiot 😂 an idiot with a pure heart! Can’t believe they had me rooting for him in the end! And all the secrets that were exposed about him! A 25 year old genius 🤭

You know what took me out? Fulbright waving and screaming out the window “In justice we trust!” and Athena waving back and replying, “In justice we trust!” and Klavier is just like, “….wtf. Is that a greeting between you two weirdos?” I loved that 😂😭 Y’know, I had my doubts about Fulbright because I miss Gumshoe, but Fulbright is awesome! I love this guy! In justice we trust~

Omg, back to Aristotle Means!!! Him losing it in court and going full-on professor mode was so awesome!!!! I loved how he had us all fooled about the location of the crime scene! And then him causing Athena to have a crisis in court was 😄👌🏾 perfection! I felt so bad for Athena, but Robin, Hugh, Junie, and shockingly Blackquill giving her encouragement was such a beautiful moment! It made taking down Means even better!!!

I cackled when Athena was proving how a corpse could be a statue and she asked Apollo to tie her up and said, “Wait. You’re not into this, are you?” ATHENA PLSSSS 😂😂😂 Poor Apollo!

And then we get Means’ breakdown which was so GOOD!!!!! I loved his suggested punishments and him getting booed and rocks thrown at him!

Also, me and Athena anytime Apollo mentioned his friend: Oh Apollo, you can’t just go around making up people 🤭

And I’m glad the three besties (plus Myriam) got a happy ending! It would be cool if they were setting up Junie to be a judge in the future and take the role from our old judge, but I doubt that’ll happen especially since Junie said she wants to stay home in Turnabout Countdown.

Anymoo, I really had a good time with this case! Case 4 and 5 have a lot to live up to 😌 I’m excited to find out why Apollo is being all emo and junk! You belong at the agency, damn it!

Y’know, I was worried this game wouldn’t be as good because Takumi didn’t work on it, but I was wrong~! I’m loving this game ^^

[kermitscavern]

The John Hughes Blues Pt. 7

<- prev | find it on AO3! | next ->

To put it plainly, Steve is hurt. He’s hurt, and frustrated, and upset, and really fucking angry. He had trusted Eddie, that little shit, he had trusted him with things he had never told anyone else. He felt fucking betrayed, that’s what it was. The one person in the whole world he thought he could trust— Poof. The one person who knew the extent of fucked up his relationship was with his parents, the one person who had held him through the nights when he thought he just couldn’t take it anymore, the one person that had saved him from nightmares again and again, and in doing so saved him from the Upside Down countless times. Never-fucking-mind, apparently. No, he gets blown off like none of that mattered, like it never fucking happened. Whatever. Whatever.

He worries the turmoil in his head has started affecting his actions, or at least Robin worries about that. To be fair, he has been rather… irritable lately, quick with what he calls snarky, Robin calls mean comments, he’s been short and sometimes vaguely threatening with customers, and in general he’s just been a pain to be around. Or so Robin says.

“I’m just so fucking sick of it!” Steve grits his teeth, slamming the drawer under the counter where they keep their magazines and crossword puzzles. “I kept getting these… these… mixed fucking signals,but whenever I tried making a move he’d pull back, and now… now this?! Are you kidding me?! I thought he liked me! I thought I liked him! What the fuck?!”

He hears Robin groan. He knows she’s been subjected to this same conversation an awful lot recently, and he knows that while she was happy he was opening up and being more “honest with himself” in the beginning, she’s also made it clear they passed that stage ages ago. Now she’s just plain sick of it.

“Oh, for crying out loud! Just do something about it then, birdbrain! Or at least stop whining to me about it, Christ. And stop slamming things!” She whacks his hand. Through his rage, Steve’s hit with a moment of clarity. Oops. Maybe he had taken it too far.

He takes a deep breath. “Shit, sorry Rob, I didn’t mean to, I’ll stop talking about it. I’ve subjected you to it enough.”

She sighs. “We both know that’s a lie, Steve-o.”

He bumps her shoulder. “Yeah, maybe. But for now, want me to take a turn rewinding?”

“God yes.”

As he sits down, he thinks a little more about what she had suggested. Go talk to him about it? Now that was an idea…

[phantomofthepairofdice]

The 2025 Rosscars

Welcome, dear reader, to the live coverage of the most dazzling event of the season - the Rosscars! Reporting is brought to you by our resident doofus on the scene, Ross. It makes sense for readers to be skeptical of this reporter given the fact that he’s both bad at writing and not very observant, but them’s the breaks.

The list of celebrities in attendance is meager and saddening. The cast of Alien: Romulus is trying to get out of a conversation with Bam Margera. The Chicken Shop Date lady is forcing Hugh Grant to take a selfie together. Luke Hemsworth is clarifying who he is for confused onlookers. The Wild Robot is here and is being emotionally manipulative (Robot Dreams 4 Lyfe). Jesse Eisenberg seems very uncomfortable, but what else is new. 

A few caveats and guidelines:

The rules and categories are a little different around here. In keeping with the Academy standard, there are five nominees in each category, except for Best Picture, Best Non-Fiction/Documentary Feature, Best International Film, and Best Ensemble which have up to ten. Every category except for those with 10 entries will have honorable mentions. I want to highlight some things that just barely missed the cut. The narrowing down of a lot of these categories is always tough, but I’m nothing if not a martyr for my medium *hold for rapturous applause*

Distribution continues to be more fractured and odd, so there’s only really one criterion for eligibility, and it seems self-evident: the nominees must have come out/become available between last year’s Rosscars and this year’s Oscar award nominations.

Nominees are listed alphabetically, and the winners are bolded.

Also, it’s important to keep in mind that I couldn’t see everything, and that these are just the opinions of one (self-described) “bozo on the internet.” If you’re a reader and have different picks, feel free to share!

Starting our ceremony is Ross’ monologue. His voice trembles as he chokes out a bad joke about Justin Baldoni and Blake Lively. It’s not just that it’s in poor taste, it’s also plain unfunny. Then he sort of fumbles the punchlines to a bunch of bad wordplay about Megalopolis. Wait a minute, we have the transcript. Read it below (if you’re feeling masochistic):

“Get a load of these headlines, people. Turns out he was a Justin Bal-phony. Blake Lively? More like Blake Deadly - for your career!

Megalopolis turned out to be a Mega-flopolis. At least the music was a Megabopolis. And it’s better than all the other generic 4-quadrant content churn Megaslopolis. The politics of the movie are moderately dubious, but they’re certainly not Magalopolis. 

In the effortlessly charming and deceptively deep Hit Man, Glenn Powell played a bunch of distinct characters - too bad none of them were agents who could sell the movie to a real distributor. Take that, Netflix!

I took the substance recently, and other than the copious liquids and gelatinous excretions, my only complaint is that neither version of myself is truly happy. Good product. Sure, yes, my back now looks like a waterlogged pleather Buick bucket seat, but my younger self is also losing muscle mass and deteriorating at an alarming rate!

Kneecap? The movie was not Knee-crap! If someone told me that it was, I would say that was Kneecap cap! (internet slang, hip dude)

Close Your Eyes? More like Open Your Eyes and Watch this Movie!

The Bikeriders went to the kooky character buffet and took a hearty helping of every offering. By the time they were done, there was barely anything left of the false teeth, goofy accents, and silly wigs for everyone else.

In Here, Tom Hanks and Robin Wright reunite to help tell the story of a single space over centuries, elevating the mundane to the profound and emphasizing the thread that ties time and space. The sequel is in production, but there’s a lot of controversy that this one’s about a bathroom at a Pottery Barn.

Horizon: An American Saga - Chapter 1 saw Kevin Costner go back to directing and no one go back to the theater.

Gladiator II was criticized for its historical inaccuracy in having the colosseum flooded for a naval battle, complete with sharks. I think it’s foolish to criticize a movie like that for historical inaccuracy. You should criticize it for having a bad script, spotty direction, and a dull lead character.

Deadpool and Wolverine was nostalgic fanfiction for movies that people don't even like. Good news is that it was a massive box office success. I am depressed by this on an existential level :-)

You want my capsule review of Nosferatu? I wouldn’t cheer for the movie - More like Nosfera-boo. It was so boring - More like Nosfer-honk-shoo. It sucked - More like Nosfer-hawk-tu(ah). By what felt like the fourth hour, I was sick of it - More like Nose-for-achoo. Robert Eggers starting to feel like a poser - more like Pose-feratu. If you asked for me to recommend it, I would be like “No-sferatu.” More like I got to pick the movie and I regret what I chose-feratu. 

Jake Gyllenhaal starred in a remake of cult 80s action classic Road House. Also in the cast was Connor McGregor, who is, in a court of a law, arguably acting. A more apt description would be something more like “trying to keep his veins inside his body in spite of all the steroids and cocaine.”

Ti West wrapped up his recent horror trilogy with MaXXXine, but when I say wrapped up I mean less like a gift with a bow and more like a diaper with a fish hook."

For those of you who read the previous passage, The Rosscars are considering out-of-court settlements for damages.

Best Supporting Actor

Tuwaine Barrett for Hard Truths

Don Johnson for Rebel Ridge

Karren Karagulian for Anora

Jay O. Sanders for His Three Daughters

Jeremy Strong for The Apprentice

Honorable Mentions:

Yura Borisov for Anora

Tom Burke for Furiosa

Louis Koo for Twilight of the Warriors

Clarence Divine Eye Maclin for Sing Sing

Edward Norton for A Complete Unknown

Guy Pearce for The Brutalist

Jesse Plemmons for Civil War

Karren Karagulian is a miraculously funny ball of stress who helps keeps Anora at the exact right pitch of wild but never histrionic. Don Johnson's Rebel Ridge performance is so locked in, you might as well call him (frantically Googles brands of locks)... Assa Abloy? But, look, the simplest way to put it is that Jeremy Strong got me to understand the appeal of and ultimately take pity on Roy Cohn. 'Nuff said.

Best Supporting Actress

Michele Austin for Hard Truths

Joan Chen for Dìdi

Carol Duarte for La Chimera

Anjanue Ellis-Taylor for Nickel Boys

Tilda Swinton for Problemista

Honorable Mentions:

Laurie Babin for Red Rooms

Charlee Fraser for Furiosa

Michele Austin is one of the truly special screen presences in a tough, scary, overwhelming world where human connection is our greatest asset. Joan Chen has some moments in Dìdi that brought me to deeply felt catharsis with some of my own memories. Anjanue Ellis-Taylor has been on a bit of a run lately, and while I think she's exceptional in King Richard and Origin, I don't think the movies around reach her level. In Nickel Boys, she looks into the camera and there is a transference of energy. Tilda Swinton, folks, what more is there to say. Carol Duarte, though, is an actor I hadn't seen before, and she's the real deal. I've been quick to make the obvious comp to Fellini when talking about La Chimera, and I think that part of it is because there are shades of Giulietta Masina in what Duarte is doing here. If it's readily apparent how high that praise is, I want to clarify that Giulietta Masina gives what may well be my favorite performance of all time in Nights of Cabiria. But she also recalls Ana Fabrega in Los Espookys. Duarte's Italia is all elbows and effervescence, and she's a ray of joyful, oddball sincerity.

Best Score

Daniel Blumberg for The Brutalist

Clint Mansell for Love Lies Bleeding

Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross for Challengers

Umberto Smerilli for A Different Man

Gints Zilbalodis & Rihards Zaļupe for Flow

Honorable Mentions

Nick Chupa for Thelma

Jed Kurzel for The Order

Dominique Plante for Red Rooms

Benjamin Wallfisch for Alien: Romulus

Junkie XL for Furiosa

Hans Zimmer for Dune Part 2

Clint Mansell rocks, and he conjured up something that’s sinister and romantic. Umberto Smeriilli has crafted a perfect theme - languorous woodwinds, curious strings, emphatic brass, and a melodic piano swirl to a dizzying effect - to anchor his score as an integral part of the success of that film. Daniel Blumberg would probably win in most years for his sweeping, stressful, grand score that bolsters the ambition of The Brutalist. Yet, this is not like most years, because this year gave us Challengers. Most awards bodies are certifiably insane for passing up the opportunity to celebrate the phenomenal, propulsive, party anthem banger-clad score that Reznor & Ross cooked up for Challengers. It seems the Rosscars are not quite that insane to do the same.

Now this next is not an award that’s given out every year, but when a little rubbery goofball critter pops up in a movie, I’m powerless to its charms. When a movie has a whole bevy of chaotic puppet wackadoos, it’s time for a trophy to be engraved for one of those little silly geese. Here to present the next award is Ross.

Best Supporting Puppet

Baby Beetlejuice from Beetlejuice Beetlejuice

Boink Bardo from from Frankie Freako

Dottie Dunko from Frankie Freako

Frankie Freako from Frankie Freako

Tahar Rahim for Madame Web

Yes, Tahar Rahim’s entire performance was built around re-recorded dialogue, essentially making him a puppet. I’m both very clever AND very funny. Also, Boink Bardo is a close personal friend, so forgive me for the nepotizz.

In between categories, a montage plays honoring the incredible Special Makeup FX from this past year. The Substance, In a Violent Nature, Smile 2, The Shadow Strays, Sasquatch Sunset, and A Different Man all show off a wide array of tactile effects that had the Rosscars voting body deeply impressed (and often repulsed). Bravo.

Best Ensemble

La Chimera

Conclave

Close Your Eyes

Evil Does Not Exist

Hard Truths

His Three Daughters

Juror No. 2

Rumours

Marianne Jean-Baptiste has gotten heaps of well-earned critical acclaim for her lead turn in Hard Truths. Her cast mates may not be getting the same praise as MJB, but they are worthy. Each exist as people, not characters. Glances and blinks tell stories that dialogue never could.

As the show’s been going on, David Zaslav of Warner Bros. Discovery (corporate mergers, nice!) is taking a break from destroying art for tax write-offs to be here tonight. Rumor has it that he'll be fed to sharks live on air later during the broadcast.

Cinematography

Lol Crawley for The Brutalist

Michał Dymek for A Real Pain

Jomo Fray for Nickel Boys

Hélène Louvart for La Chimera

Sayombhu Mukdeeprom for Challengers

Honorable Mentions

Greg Frasier for Dune 2

Adam Arkapaw for The Order

Lol Crawley’s high contrast, punchy, ultra-detailed photography made a splash for resurrecting the relatively defunct VistaVision format. It’s another element of the movie that feels keyed into the rotten grandeur of The Brutalist. I’ve not seen many people give kudos to Michał Dymek’s work on A Real Pain, but the pastel colors create an emotional timbre the way he shoots the locations creates a sense of mournful place but beautful place. I don’t know if anyone really had a better year in movies in Sayombhu Mukdeeprom. He shot 4 movies that came out last year, and of the 3 that are readily available - Queer, Challengers, and Trap - the guy continues to create visual dynamism that astounds but never distracts. Challengers is not a subtle movie, and neither is the camerawork, but form matches function perfectly.

Best International Feature

The Beast, dir. Bertrand Bonello

La Chimera, dir. Alice Rohrwacher

Close Your Eyes, dir. Victor Erice

Dahomey, dir. Matti Diop

Do Not Expect Too Much from the End of the World, dir. Radu Jude

Evil Does Not Exist, dir. Ryusuke Hamaguchi

Flow, dir. Gints Zibalodis

Kneecap, dir. Rich Peppiatt

The Substance, dir. Coralie Fargeat

Rumours, dir. Guy Maddin, Evan Johnson, Galen Johnson

Twilight of the Warriors: Walled In, dir. Soi Cheang

La Chimera is like an stray dog that you’re drawn to but are afraid to pet because its fur looks a bit gnarly. The movie’s a wet cigarette but a hot cup of coffee. It’s the warmth of the mid-morning sun on a bone deep cold. Rohrwacher’s hazy, playful masterpiece had me near levitation with sheer pleasure. Imagine Elliot Gould in the The Long Goodbye as the lead of a movie that’s a hybrid between Last Crusade and Nights of Cabiria.

Best Adapted Screenplay

Jay Cocks and James Mangold for A Complete Unknown

Glen Powell & Richard Linklater for Hit Man

George Miller & Nico Lathouris for Furiosa

RaMell Ross & Joslyn Barnes for Nickel Boys

Peter Straughan for Conclave

Honorable Mentions

Denis Villeneuve & Jon Spaihts for Dune 2

He nominated a music biopic? Do we need to do a wellness check on Ross? Has he been body-snatched by someone with terrible taste?No. First, I've always had questionable taste. Second, A Complete Unknown is type of focused, non-traditional character piece that gives glorious bits of friction for is marvelous cast to play. The structure of this screenplay is mesmerizing - it's a house of cards until the final act doesn't just knock down the tower, it tears up the cards and makes a collage. Part of that power, unquestionably, comes from Nicholas Monsour's superb editing, but the build up is delicate, sincere, and empathetic - profoundly so.

Documentary/Non-fiction

The voting body didn't feel like they were able to see enough documentaries to create category worthy of the form, but instead they wish to recommend a handful of feature length and episodic nonfiction stories:

Dahomey, dir. Matti Diop

Girl State, dir. Jesse Moss & Amanda McBaine

Spermworld, dir. Lance Oppenheim

Ren Faire, dir. Lance Oppenheim

Ross keeps telling people backstage that he was trying to "push boundaries" with his "jokes" and that he “just wish[es] Will Smith tries something,” and that he, “wish[es] he would try to slap [him], and get to see the dog come out.” This writer knows that a slap from Will Smith would send Ross 6 feet deep in an unmarked grave.

Best Original Screenplay

Ryusuke Hamaguchi for Evil Does Not Exist

Justin Kuritzkes for Challengers

Jeremy Saulnier for Rebel Ridge

Aaron Schimberg for A Different Man

Julio Torres for Problemista

Honorable Mentions

Sean Baker for Anora

Brady Corbet & Mona Fastvold for The Brutalist

Jesse Eisenberg for A Real Pain

Victor Erice & Michel Gaztambide for Close Your Eyes

Pacal Plante for Red Rooms

Jeremy Saulnier for Rebel Ridge

Guy Maddin, Evan Johnson, & Galen Johnson for Rumours

Schimberg's created a real goulash of tropes and ingenuity to explore identity and narrative with dark humor and an O Henry/Twilight Zone type of premise. The film carries surprises and laughs with its irony and empathy. It's wicked, acerbic, and always evolving.

The lights get low and the mood gets serious for the In Memoriam segment of the show. The montage this year is 2 hours and 7 minutes long. When the lights come up, there are murmurs in the audience. Halle Barry leans over to Glenn Close to ask a clarifying question and the answer she receives is a curt, "Yes, that was the entirety of Kraven the Hunter."

Best Lead Actor

Kieran Culkin for A Real Pain

Cillian Murphy for Small Things Like These

Josh O’Connor for Challengers & La Chimera

Aaron Pierre for Rebel Ridge

Sebastian Stan for A Different Man

Honorable Mentions:

Adrien Brody for The Brutalist

Josh Hartnett for Trap

Glen Powell for Hit Man

Manolo Solo for Close Your Eyes

Ryan Brickson Cole Tews for Hundreds of Beavers

That’s right, Culkin is a lead actor in that movie! He is incredible in that, an absolute spitfire performance that helps nail down the movie as being in the tradition of Hal Ashby, Paul Mazursky, and other 70s road movies. Equally incredible is the steady hand and astounding presence of Aaron Pierre in Rebel Ridge - powerhouse stuff. Josh O’Connor had an amazing year with two performances that capture a rumpled charisma as a veneer for tenderness underneath. Stan, though, is this year’s winner, because I’m not a good enough writer to distill the tonal tightrope that he treats like a runway. Stan has never had better material than he did last year, and I don’t think I’m alone in finding new dimensions to his talents that haven’t been showcased prior. Aaron Schimberg’s script puts us in a very strange POV, and it requires a lot of an actor to be as tragic, funny, pathetic, sincere, deplorable, petty, but still compelling through it all. Sebastian Stan, I owe you an apology. I wasn’t really familiar with your game.

Best Lead Actress

Juliette Gariépy for Red Rooms

Marianne Jean-Baptiste for Hard Truths

Mikey Madison for Anora

Ilinca Manolache for Do Not Expect Too Much from the End of the World

June Squibb for Thelma

Honorable Mentions

Adria Arjona for Hit Man

Mia McKenna-Bruce for How to Have Sex

Demi Moore for The Substance

Naomi Scott for Smile 2

Léa Seydoux for The Beast

June Squibb's performance may seem like a bit of a lark at first blush, but she's able to do physical comedy and reckon with mortality with the delicacy of a soufflé. I have seen the Mikey Madison ascendency, and I hope to continue to watch her star rise for many years to come. Ilinca Manolache has created a character that will forever be honored in the Dirtbag Hall of Fame. Marianne Jean-Baptiste is a true force of nature, and her character is a typhoon of lashing out and disappointment. And yet, I feel for Pansy. It's a work of alchemy, really. I feel a bit insane not giving her the award, but man, I love when something comes out of nowhere like the French Canadian psycho-thriller Red Rooms, announcing every participant as worthy of attention and praise. Juliette Gariépy is the type of unknowable actor who uses her intensity like a Ginsu. The movie kind of lives or dies based on that lead performance, and Gariépy’s tiny reactions, or complete lack thereof, are like a flame trailing up a line of gasoline, leading to the bonfire finale.

Best Director

Mike Cheslik for Hundreds of Beavers

Brady Corbet for The Brutalist

Victor Erice for Close Your Eyes

Luca Guadagnino for Challengers

Ryusuke Hamaguchi for Evil Does Not Exist

George Miller for Furiosa

Mike Leigh for Hard Truths

Alice Rohrwacher for La Chimera

RaMell Ross for Nickel Boys

Arkasha Stevenson for The First Omen

I genuinely don't understand how Mike Cheslik created his movie. Here's to the scrappy, micro-budget ingenuity of him and the Hundreds of Beavers team. If you want to see one of the best scenes of the year, look at was Hamaguchi does with the town council meeting in Evil Does Not Exist. Arkasha Stevenson took a junky prequel premise and injected visceral horror and jaw-dropping craft. I had never heard her name before the credits rolled, but I'm a Stevenson lifer, now. But the winner is a man who has a shelf full of Rosscars already. George Miller's construction of his set pieces gave me the type of thrills and rare pleasures that invoke audible cheers and a feeling of joy-induced ecstasy. The multi-layered assault on the war rig is the best action scene of the year, and it reminds us that cinema is sight and sound in motion. Dr. Miller's sense of rhythm and his instincts of when to amplify or simplify are not tuned into an expected frequency. Miller has the eccentricity and ingenuity to fill every inch of his movies with quirks and color. He's made a movie a Sergio Leone movie with Chuck Jones sensibilities.

Best Picture

The Brutalist

La Chimera

Evil Does Not Exist

Furiosa

Hard Truths

Nickel Boys

Rebel Ridge

Red Rooms

When it comes to the power of cinema, Nickel Boys is practically unrivaled. While there have been some great movies in the past year, Nickel Boys is head and shoulders ahead of the rest. It's a movie that altered me forever on an atomic level, as a person and as a film fan.

There you have it, folks. The awards have been handed out, but keep in mind that they can reshuffled at will, so don’t get too cozy with that statue, Jeremy Strong!

Feel free to share, to disagree, to boycott next year - all reactions are welcome.

For more thoughts on film, and a whole bunch of other junk, you can find me on Letterboxd here and on Twitter here. You can also find very sporadic pieces on this very same blog space: (that’s https://phantomofthepairofdice.tumblr.com/).

On behalf of the RAOGL (Rosscars Association of One Guy at a Laptop), thanks for reading. We’ll see you next year. Keep watching movies, and keep arbitrarily quantifying them in terms of subjective quality!

[jrpneblog]

North End edge tight lunchtime encounter

North End took all three points in the lunchtime kick off thanks to a goal midway through the second half after a hard fought game against Mark Robin`s Coventry City. It took a world class save from Freddie Woodman in added time to keep the Sky Blues at bay but on balance I thought North End just about deserved their win and the climb up the table has started to unfold. There were a few decent chances for both sides and North End will rue missing one or two in the first half, however a ball back in from Brady in the seventy second minute saw Emil Riis head home to send the North End fans in a crowd of 15,907 home happy and to hopefully enjoy the rest of their weekend.

Paul Heckingbottom made two changes to the side that drew at Turf Moor a fortnight ago with Ryan Ledson and Stefan Thordarson coming in for Ben Whiteman and Brad Potts. The game started brightly with a couple of half chances at either end. Our best early chance came when Riis headed wide from Ledson when he should have really hit the target. Brady then shot wide coming in from the left and Riis had a shot saved as North End threatened in front of their own supporters on the Town End. Riis was then booked for simulation after falling in the box and North End had to be satisfied with going in at the break level when they really should have been ahead.

No changes from PH at the break as the visitors started much the brighter and had a couple of good chances in the opening ten minutes through Eccles, who shot wide, and Bassette who failed to hit the target with his shot. North End recovered and got on the front foot again and Mads put in a superb cross from the left which Riis just failed to connect with. North End took the lead with the match winning goal eighteen minutes from time when a Sam Greenwood corner from the left hand side was flicked on to Robbie Brady at the back post. The Irishman whipped the ball in with his trusty left foot and Emil Riis nodded home the only goal of the game. Wright got the ball in the net for the visitors but there was a clear hand ball in the lead up and the same player failed to connect at the back post moments later. With less than two minutes left Thomas headed what looked to be a point winning header but Woodman dived superbly to his left to keep out the effort and to ensure North End took all three points.

So this latest victory moves North End on to twelve points from ten league games and means that the manager has taken twelve points from his eight league games in charge. That averages out at one and a half points per game and would give North End sixty nine points if extrapolated out over the season. So in spite of coming in with morale at rock bottom and the club not being able to buy a win, Heckingbottom has got the side playing top ten football in terms of points. This is probably North End`s busiest period of the season with games coming thick and fast and if we can get a similar result against Norwich on Tuesday evening then things will really be looking up ahead of the long trip to Plymouth next Saturday.

.

PRESTON 1-0 COVENTRY CITY

.

WOODMAN 8

KESLER-HAYDEN 7 STOREY 7 LINDSAY 8 HUGHES 7 BRADY 7

LEDSON 7

McCANN 8 FROKJAER 7 THORDARSON 6

RIIS 7

.

SUBS

GREENWOOD 7

HOLMES 7

.

MOTM: Liam Lindsay

Attendance 15,907

Preston Fans 13,312 (83.67%)

[jimmyblog]

James Griffin

Happy Feet (ages 3-4):

Happy Feet was released in 2006 which was directed by George Miller. This film was written by Warren Coleman and John Collee. Although there are no real actors in this film hence its a cartoon, there are actors that did voice overs for certain characters. These include Robin Williams, Elijah Wood, Brittany Murphy, Hugh Jackman, and Jeffery Garcia. Although these actors were not fully in the movie, their roles in this movie were very crucial to the fabulous plot. BOX OFFICE INFO ATTACHMENT***** .  I came into contact with this film when I was waiting for the bus after basketball practice and I saw a huge advertisement on the bus that was approaching. The ad was for the new movie “Happy Feet” that would come out a week later. My longest lasting memory from this movie is when Mumble is released from the zoo and goes back to Antartica. This movie was very interesting to me because I was little and found that penguins were one of my favorite animals. I grew out of this film later on in my life because it was a happy ending almost disney-like movie. As I grew older I started to like more action or sci-fi type movies. 

Moneyball (ages 8-9)

Moneyball was released in 2011 and was directed by Bennett Miller. The writers of this movie were Steven Zaillian, Aaron Sorkin, and Stan Chervin. BOX OFFICE ATTACHMENT*****. I came into contact with this film when my baseball coach when I was 8 introduced me to it. We were at the end of the year party and for “summer homework” we had to watch this film. When we got back from the summer we had a test on the film. This wasn’t really homework for me because I love baseball and watching it is entertaining for me so of course, I aced the quiz. The movie made me feel joy throughout the entire film. The moment that stood out to me was when the Athletics finished last in the league, but the lesson wasn’t about being the best team, it was about how to spend the right amount of money as a baseball franchise. Brad Pitt in the film successfully fails. This movie never really grew out of me because I still have a passion for baseball. This film impacted me on the baseball field because when it came down to it, my teammates and I would think about the film and it would motivate us to work harder and be more productive on the field. 

Captain America: Civil War (age 13)

This film was released in 2016 and directed by Anthony and Joe Russo. It was written by Christopher Markus, Stephen Mcfeely, and Joe Simon. IMMMAAAGEEEE. I came into contact with this film because my friend texted me after school asking to see the movie. I had watched marvel movies before but this is the first one where they all came together in one film and all fought each other. I thought this was very fascinating because they all fought good guys vs. good guys. My memories from this film is when Captain America and Iron Man have a huge fight scene. This stood out to me because they were two of my favorite characters and they were fighting each other. This will forever stick with me because I remember talking about this movie for days and even weeks after it to my friends and family. 

Game Night (Age 16)

This film was released in 2018 and was directed by John Francis Daley and Johnothan Goldstein. It was written by Mark Perex. IMAGEEEE. I found this film because I was home sick from school and I was scrolling through netflix and saw it. I didn’t think much of the film and wouldn’t have thought that this film would be one of my favorites. My favorite memory of the movie was when Jason Batemen’s brother (in the film) actually got kidnapped. Everybody else thought it was part of the game that they were playing. This was very funny to me and probably why it stuck to me. It also has a major plot twist at the end which helped as well. Although this was one of my favorites, I wouldn’t watch it again because of the plot twist. You can only watch this movie once for it to be good. This movie made me feel connected to the characters because my family just like his has game nights quite oftenThurber

Red Notice (age 18) 

This film was released in 2021 and was directed and written by Rawson Marshall Thurber. IMAGEEEEE. I found this film because I saw it on instagram and it stared Dwayne Johnson and Ryan Reynolds which are some of my favorite actors. The part of the film that stood out to me was when The Rock tricked Ryan Reynolds and actually stole the egg even though he was a CIA agent. This was again a major plot twist. I guess you could say that I am a sucker for the plot twist. I enjoyed this film throughout because there was always some type of action happening weather it was people shooting at each other or a big car or foot chase. This kept me locked into the movie the entirety of the movie. I never grew out of this movie as I watched it the other day.

[dameronology]

'' you're the only one who's ever going to see me this way. '' '' this way what? '' '' this happy. '' [beat] '' not counting our wedding day. '' + steve? :) maybe the end of s3 when it’s all over. or when he and robin are on drugs, you pick

i loveeee this

The night after the fire at Starcourt Mall was the first time in weeks that Steve Harrington had slept properly.

It wasn't all over. Not yet. There was still the question of how the hell anyone was going to cover up the last few weeks; how they were going to cover up the deaths; how anyone in this sleepy little town would truly take anything other than the truth as an explanation. The best part, though? It wasn't his fucking problem. He could relax now, knowing that the Upside Down - at least for the foreseeable future - was dealt with.

The morning after, ironically enough, was bright and warm. The sun beat down on Hawkins, streaming through the windows of Steve's bedroom and causing him to rouse. You were still passed out beside him, curled up in a ball with your arms desperately wound around one of his. Because yes, things were fine now, but this wasn't your first rodeo with the Upside Down. You'd been clinging onto him at night since the first time you'd seen a Demogorgon. It was second nature now; you attached to Steve, with his entire body wrapped around you. It was all in an attempt to protect you - from what exactly, he didn't know.

He rolled onto his side, letting your sleeping form flop with him. Steve couldn't help but let out a smile - honestly, he was just glad you were still here. There had been times where you had either a) run head first into danger and he thought he'd truly never see you again or b) he missed a date one too many times due to alternative dimension commitments and he was convinced you were going to dump his ass. There were moments where you had come close to both.

"The fuck you wriggling for, Harrington?"

His chest rumbled with a chuckle, shaking you awake. "You're making my arm go dead, babe."

"The world nearly ended yesterday," you grumbled, returning your head back to its rightful spot in the crook of his neck. "I needed your shoulder for emotional support."

"The world did nearly end yesterday," he nodded. His dark eyes moved from you to the ceiling, just pondering for a moment. The trauma of it all was definitely there - had been since the fall of 1983.

You peeled open one eye, raising your head again to analyse your boyfriend. His face was still littered with red marks and scratches, but his eyes wasn't as swollen anymore. Despite everything - the injuries, the kidnapping, the fucking torture - he had a big ol' smile on his dingus features. Tilting your head to the side, you propped yourself on your elbows and thinned your eyes at him.

"You're real smiley all things considered."

He peered over at you, grin widening. "You're the only one who's ever going to see me this way."

"What way?" you frowned.

Steve reached his arm back out towards you, wrapping it around your shoulders. You hit his chest with an oof! - you couldn't get annoyed though. He was too much of a fucking goofball.

"This happy," he said with a content sigh. He paused for a moment, then pressed a kiss to your temple. "Not counting our wedding day."

"I just threw up in my mouth a little-"

"- you're such an asshole!" he cut you off, squeezing you even tighter. "C'mon, admit it!"

"Admit what?! That you're about to SQUEEZE the life out of me-"

"- that you luuuurve me!"

"I do not luuuurve anything, because I am not a fifteen year old girl in a John Hughes movie-"

"- okay then."

Steve grabbed you again, flipping you on your back. He pinned your arms above your head as he did, positioning himself above you. His hair dangled over his face, catching it in the morning light. He was fucking perfect.

"Admit that you love me," he said. "Just love - plain ol' love, with the right amount of o's and u's and e's."

You smiled. "I love you."

He leant down and pressed a kiss to your lips. "I love you more."

[hannibalsloverboy]

master list of my fanfiction:

Gentle On My Mind (T, Steddie, wip 1/7, 6k+) - As Eddie struggles to figure out what he wants out of his life, his uncle suggests taking some time off for some soul searching. Luckily, Wayne has connections to a small family farm in the middle of nowhere, where Eddie can get all the quiet introspection he so desperately needs.

With Every Hour (M, Steddie, 25k) - In search of worldwide fame, small-town band Corroded Coffin sets out on a short tour, hoping to catch the eye of a music producer. They hire help in the form of Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley. Steve finds that he hates nothing more than the company of lead guitarist Eddie Munson.

I Want to Break Free (T, Steddie, 3.5k) - With nowhere else to go, Steve shows up at Eddie's front door with nothing to offer but a John Hughes VHS and a few beers.

This December, I’ll Remember (T, Newtmas, 2.5k) - Newt never considered himself a romantic, but something about the way the faint tinge of smoke from the record store stuck to his clothes made him rethink his philosophy.

A Perfect Place to Cry (T, Wolfstar, 20k) - Famous musician Sirius Black is in desperate need of some time off. He ventures to a small town and finds a phone number in a book at a second hand bookstore. With nothing else to do, he texts and slowly finds himself drawn to the mysterious man behind the screen.

Takes One to Know One (M, Wolfstar, 2k) - Remus had been happy running his ranch by himself before Sirius Black shows up at his front door, broken and alone.

Close Enough to Touch (T, Wolfstar, 3.5k) - 5 times someone had a crush on remus + 1 time it actually mattered

Crystal Clear on a Starlit Night (G, Wolfstar, 2k) - Begrudgingly, Sirius agrees to go on a blind date after James’s insistence, expecting nothing more than a one night stand, only to see the rest of his life in front of his eyes.

Minho Needs a Day Off (G, Newtmas, 1.5k) - Minho considered himself a good friend. He would even go so far and say that he is the best friend someone could ask for. But currently, he wanted nothing more than to be back in the glade so he could toss his two best friends into the maze for the night so they could sort out their feelings. Grievers be damned.

[remakethestars]

Being Batman’s Daughter Would Include:

Headcanons.

❝Listen, Robin. At their core, people are cowardly and self-serving. Trust no one until you know them. And even then, never completely.❞

— Bruce Wayne, “The Lesson Plan”

TRIGGER WARNING: Plant murder. Mentions of drugs/tranqs (stopping dealers), violence/physical harm, broken bones (knee cap), limb dislocation (shoulder), (Jason’s) death, smoke, waterboarding/drowning?

Headcanon masterlist.

You know how every teenager has that paradigm shift because as much as they love the people around them, they’ll never know the inner workings of your psyche? And they realize they’ll never truly be known? And it makes them feel really lonely?

Yeah, you never come to feel like that because you know Bruce digs so far into everyone around him he probably knows you better than you do.

Honestly, he probably reads your diary. At least, he reads the fake one you hide under your mattress. And the second decoy in the A.C. vent above your dresser.

If you’re as paranoid as Bruce, you probably don’t have a diary, and the aforementioned “decoys” are just to mess with him.

Sun Tzu’s The Art of War was practically your Bible growing up.

You’re torn between giving yourself the tactical advantage of being underestimated & being non-reactive, which — besides giving you the lioness role in the lion–gazelle dynamic — gives you the advantage of having time to think carefully on the repercussions before speaking.

Because, as Sun Tzu said in chapter seven, verse twenty-one, “Ponder and deliberate before you make a move.”

Seeing as Bruce and Damian both have eidetic memories, I’m guessing you do too. 

Which means you totally read the dictionary when you were young and whip our big words nobody’s heard of.

Bruce always assured you it’s okay to be scared. As a matter of fact, like he told Dick (seen in flashbacks in “The Lesson Plan”), he taught you to “Let terror embrace you. The better you know fear, the better you can use it against others.”

And we all know Bruce is the paragon of using fear against people.

Take that, Scarecrow!

(See, I chose that gif because earlier in that move, he displays a fear of bats, & in that scene, he summons them to use as a distraction and walks through them completely unperturbed. No? Okay, I’ll see myself out.)

You started into the vigilante business young, a little bulge under the back of Batman’s cape that made the rest of the Justice League in the meeting think Bruce was host to an alien parasite until your little mask-covered eyes poked up over his shoulder.

The League’s known you since you were young, so they kind of all see you as their niece. That just quadruples the amount of people who are overprotective of you.

Eventually, in your tweens, you think enough’s enough and start out on your own — being underestimated may be an advantage, but it’s getting ridiculous — and you tackle unsolved cases.

You set up various safe houses around the world for your own disposal (using the zeta tubes) and anyone who sees the inside of one in an emergency is always surprised. You don’t really understand why; what serious vigilante doesn’t have secure, state-of-the-art safe locations scattered across the planet?

Sometimes, it gets you into danger, but you always get yourself out of it. If there ever comes a time you can’t, well, you’ve got a direct link to Batman, and if communications fail, you can always yell for your Uncle Clark at the top of your lungs.

If the latter ever comes to fruition, you ask Bruce if he’s disappointed you had to call for back-up or that you called Superman instead of Batman, and he says, “It takes a strong person to admit when they’re weak, [Y/N]; if anything, I’m proud of you. Besides … you’re not the only one who yells for Uncle Clark when they get in over their head.”

Your training entailed hacking and mechanics, so you like to fix computers and sell them on the internet Hugh Jeffreys style. It started out with Macs from the dumpster behind Gotham Academy and turned into a surprising side hustle. Large portions of your profits go into either savings or funding your extracurricular activities. 

You’re using a MacBook that’s running Linux and an iPhone 4 that’s running your own program. 

At some point, your phone falls into the wrong hands, and someone asks why it has such high security. You deadpan and say, “I have three older brothers.” No further explanation required.

One such solo case led you to a ring of drug dealers working in a small town outside of Gotham. You made some tranquillizers and heavy-duty smoke bombs and busted out your shinobi-iri training.

After sliding on a mask covering the bottom half of your face that filtered out smoke, you set all of the bombs off at once in the ventilation system, filling the building and using the infrared in your domino mask to sedate everyone before the cops arrived so no one got hurt (because there would inevitably be a firefight if the cops got involved).

You never go into a situation expecting to go hand-to-hand with someone; you always have a plan to take our your targets quickly an efficiently.

One night, when you’re working on a cold case in Gotham, you stumble across some intel that Poison Ivy’s been stockpiling chemicals and is going to wipe out all human life on Earth.

Luckily for you, Bruce’s paranoia is hereditary; you just happen to carry some white kryptonite in your belt, so you won’t have to go all the way back to the cave to obtain some.

You type out a quick debrief on your wrist computer in case you end up needing to send out an S.O.S., pop on your bottom mask to filter out spores or pheromones she might send in your direction, and bust out your shinobi-iri training again.

Of course, you try the peaceful approach, explaining to Ivy that you agree with her on the tree-hugger front to build rapport (T.B.F., who doesn’t?), but it comes to physical confrontation. You kill every vine that comes your way with a quick punch from your kryptonite ring, toss an expanding polyurethane foam bomb (see Batgirl #38) at her feet, and manage to get an inhibitor collar on her.

Gordon takes her away, and by the next morning, it’s on the news.

“You took down Ivy by yourself?” Bruce asks when you come down for breakfast.

“… Yeah,” you say after a moment, expecting a tongue-lashing.

“Are you hurt?”

“No. She didn’t get a hit in. And before you ask, I had a contingency set up in case things went sideways.”

“… Good job.”

Your dad has the article framed in the batcave, which is the bat-equivalent of having your drawing on the fridge or getting a sticker back on a test.

You’re fighting a grin for the rest of the day.

It bugs you you can’t tell anyone why you’re so happy, so you visit Dick in Blüdhaven while he’s on patrol and give him a play-by-play. You even get a hair-ruffle!

Deathstroke targets you at some point. One of Batman and Nightwing’s worst villains, and he targets you because he knows they love you. You’re the smallest bat at the time, the weakest; he thinks you’ll be the easiest to take.

Boy, was he wrong.

He was trained by the League of Assassins, so you know dropping a smoke bomb’s not going to give you cover (and his mask probably has infrared). His brain processes faster than yours, so tricking him is improbable. He’s probably done enough research on you to know you favor foam bombs and has fast enough reflexes to dodge before they go off.

And he’s jammed your comms so you can’t call for backup. You’re worried he’s got kryptonite on him and will hurt Superman if you call for help.

It’s just you and him.

He has enhanced stamina, so he tries to wear you out. You maintain distance to avoid taking damage and wearing faster.

You always admired Tim for his ability to plan ahead (see, like, the entirety of the Red Robin comics). He doesn’t know how he does it; he just does. He can’t really teach you, so you just watch and learn.

You realize your fight with Slade is just a matter of managing the distance and immobilizing him, so you strike. You duck behind a pillar or grab onto a railing or something and shoot him through the thigh with your grappling gun, reeling him in. He, of course, draws his sword or a knife to cut the line, but you’re already throwing high-density expanding polyurethane bombs.

And, just like that, you’ve single-handedly taken Deathstroke.

It sends a clear message to the rest of the Gotham villains, Blüdhaven’s villains, the League of Assassins — don’t mess with the bat’s little girl. She can hold her own.

Now it’s time for you to come up with another plan to take him down; you doubt the same method will work twice, and you’ve just made a very powerful enemy.

As Wonder Woman’s said, “Do not mistake a desire to avoid violence for an inability to deal with it.” You might go into most situations with a plan to take down your opponent already in motion, but when it comes to an all-out brawl, you’re perfectly capable and don’t pull your punches.

You’re working on an unsolved case in Blüdhaven (Dick’s got enough on his plate) when you get an S.O.S. from the aforementioned along with the feed and recording from his mask. You listen to the mission briefing while you ride back to the cave and then the audio from the Young Justice mission. They got jumped by the League of Shadows in an abandoned factory, and Talia’s trying to coerce Damian into joining the League or whatever.

The usual dropping some smoke bombs and tranqing everyone isn’t going to work on thirty armed League assassins who were trained to fight blind, so you load up on polyurethane foam bombs and call Jason and Cassandra.

The three of you take out the guards outside before splitting up and taking either end of the building (Cass stays with you). You meet in the middle, in the room the team’s being held in.

You highjacked the speakers, so they’re blasting AC/DC’s “Shoot to Thrill” upon Jason’s insistence. You wanted Zayde Wølf or Alice Cooper’s “Hey, Stoopid,” but big brothers will be big brothers.

Jason pops them with rubber bullets from above to slow them down for you while Cass demolishes them and you drop foam bombs, slinging your signature custom shuriken, bonk them over the head with Tim’s staff you picked up along the way, dislocate their arms, or shatter their kneecaps. 

You and Jason get a couple slices from swords that got a little too close, but it’s nothing compared to what you’ve had before. 

When the fighting’s done and the building’s quiet, the team’s, like, “Who the heck are you guys?” 

And Dick’s, like, 😏 “They’re our siblings.” 

Speaking of siblings, you’re older than Damian, and as such, you take upon yourself the honor of teaching him all things pop-culture.

“I have a lot of amazing older siblings. I want to be a good big sister.”

First things first, you give him one of your refurbished e-waste phones and take him to Target to pick out an OtterBox or a LifeProof case or something that’ll keep it safe in the pocket of a vigilante.

Vigilantes are always coming to you when their phone’s broken anyway; you’ve got a stack of spares you’ve repaired.

Then you help him set up a Spotify account (follow me at @remakethestars 😉) and try to help him find his rhythm.

Poor child’s never had Oreos before, so you drag a pack of Double Stuffs out of the cabinet and a glass of milk and show him the best milk-dunking method you know.

You think about handing him a cookie and telling him to waterboard it until the bubbles stop coming up, but cookie-dunking is something every kid does; it’s sacred, and you don’t want him to associate it with violence.

You show him how you and Alfred feed the bats in the batcave.

And you show him Vine compilations and your favorite shows and movies and as many classics as you can, and you put up with him pointing out the inaccuracies and calling them stupid.

Every time he doesn’t get a reference, you write it down so you know what to show him later.

If anything ever happens to you, Damian finds your list and makes it his personal mission to watch/read everything on it. It makes him feel close to you.

You build a relationship with him that’s similar to his and Dick’s, and he comes to you with things he might not be able to come to anyone else with.

Plus, since you live in the manor still and he doesn’t want Bruce to think less of him, it’s you he comes to after a nightmare.

If you know Alfred has pictures of him curled up in your side, you ask him to send them to you. Not for blackmail purposes; just to have.

You’d never use the need of comfort or the sharing of emotions against him because (A) it’s perpetuating toxic masculinity and (B) you don’t want him to think it’s wrong or confirm any of the stupid “strength” things the League of Shadows taught him.

You gave him a stuffed cat that looks like Alfred (the cat, not the butler) with some of your perfume spritzed on it. He verbalized his revulsion when you gave it to him, but on nights he has a bad dream and you’re not home, it brings him comfort.

Titus comes to get you when Damian’s upset. 

Even when he’s not with Damian, he seems to know. Pets are like that.

You’ve learned to trust Titus’s instincts. Damian thinks it’s suspicious when he’s feeling down and you just happen to call.

You never realized it until a long time later, but Ace was acting weird the day Jason came back from the dead.

And he was acting weird the day Jason came back to Gotham too. He ran to the door and began barking. Alfred swept security, but nothing seemed to be off. The whole family was on edge that day.

You were the reason Jason knew he wasn’t completely forgotten; he spotted you through a café window, and you were wearing his jacket.

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