#harry: you cannot be serious right now (knowing full well tom is serious)

[tommarvoloriddlesdiary]

Tom: Harry, we already tried things your way.

Harry: What? No, we didn’t - when?

Tom: Well, we tried it in my head.

Tom: And it didn’t work.

[grits-galraisedinthesouth]

Meghan Markle is a fool who lacks real friends.

It is clear to me from this scripted reality tv show (designed to rehabilitate Meghan's image and reputation) that Meghan Markle remains a woman devoid of true friendship. Real Friends don't allow friends to go through life making a fool of themselves in front of the entire world.

The scripted commentary with Doria is a new low, and a stark reminder that Doria Ragland trained her daughter to view all relationships through a transactional lens.

"What are you getting in return?"

Meghan's high school was shocked to learn that Meghan's mother was black (they only met her father), yet this duo is attempting to surplant Thomas Markle's parenting with an absentee mother and some invisible (it takes a village) women who weren't worthy enough to accompany Doria to London for her daughter's "spectacle." In the end, Doria failed at her mission to offer the necessary "street credit" that Meghan so desperately needs to politically exploit the black community.

If anyone in the world needed to stop talking, it is Rachel Meghan Markle. It will never happen because she's a narcissist who lacks the discipline and self awareness to simply sit down and shut up. I truly feel sorry for any children. With Harry and Meghan as full or part-time parents, they have sadly been setup for serious emotional and psychological damage. Tragic.

With a personal mantra that is to always complain and over explain, there was no hope for Meghan as a working member of the BRF.

I only entertained a small dose of Meghan and her mom, and I'll attach clips in a separate rant, but suffice it to say that they were both insufferable. I now understand the reason Tom Bower felt the need to go on GB news in defense of Thomas Markle. Doria could have explained her ressons for abandoning Meghan, but none of these characters are interested in authenticity or humility. Doria nor Meghan will accept personal responsibility for their failures.

They say the narcissist is incapable of learning to remain quiet. While that might be true, her behavior does serve as a cautionary tale for us.

We know Meghan (and her teams) are obsessed with our criticism of her via social media. The best counsel I could find is found in a devotional taken from Proverbs 17:28.

Image and Reputation Repair:

"Improve your image and reputation today. Anyone can do it, even a fool. Cut your words in half – others will consider you a wise and knowledgeable person. What a proverb! Here is profound advice and a wise tip to quickly enhance what others think about you.

Hasty speech, unstudied speech, or much speech marks a fool. Closing your mouth and reducing your words will cause others to assume you are a wise and understanding person, even if you are a fool. God and King Solomon, both truly wise, guarantee it.

Speech reveals character (Pr 15:2; 29:11; Eccl 5:3; 10:12-14). Careful, deliberate, profitable, and proper speech marks a wise man. Hasty, impulsive, vain, and froward words mark a foolish and wicked man. A fool seldom says anything profitable or suitable (Eccl 10:3), but reducing his words will cause others to think he is careful and deliberate.

It is wise to see and hear well, but to say little. You learn by listening, not by talking. You should not talk until necessary or profitable. Others will assume your silence indicates careful observation and deep consideration of the topic and a deep search for the right thoughts and words before speaking. Has a wise reputation ever been so cheap? Never!

The tongue is dangerous and easily hurts others (Pr 10:19; 18:21; Jas 3:2-12), so wise men limit words to avoid sin (Pr 17:27; Job 13:5), and they study before speaking (Pr 15:28). It is better to be swift at hearing than at speaking (Jas 1:19-20). God gave you two ears but only one mouth. Cutting your words in half will then match your anatomy.

Ah, but the fire to speak burns in some men (Ps 39:1-3). They cannot quench this fire; they cannot reduce the heat; they cannot rule the impulse; they must talk, now! What a curse to have an unruly mouth and tell everyone within hearing distance that you are a fool. Close your mouth, and even though you truly are one, no one but you will know it."

Famous leaders have revised it

[tooruluv]

Katsuki Bakugou x F!Reader ( part 1 )

❝ ...and then there’s you. ❞

description: you and bakugou have hated each other since childhood. through the constant bickering, fighting, and actual fist fights... you had no idea that you had been writing to him.

genre: angst, soulmate au where you have a notebook that you can write to your soulmate in

word count: 3.8k

warnings/notes: strong language, lots of angst, aged up characters, bakugou being bakugou, reader has an air manipulation quirk created as part 1 of 3 for my winner of my tooruluv2kparty contest @katsulovee​ <33

teaser | part 2

| masterlist

“ ‘cause when the sun goes down, someone’s talking back ” - talking to the moon, bruno mars

┏━━━━━⋇⋆⋆⋇❦⋇⋆⋆⋇━━━━━┓

The storm only escalated, casting the sky in deep blues and greys. Loud rain clattered against the roof of your apartment building, the ceiling of your top floor apartment being the only thing that separated you from the pour. 

The rain may be cold, but you were on fire.

You had been livid all day, positively outraged by the man who seemed to always be in your way. He was the most arrogant, most opinionated, and most… loud-mouthed person you ever met. You were screaming from the inside out, burning with rage.

Groaning, you sprawled out on your bed.

Katsuki Bakugou was the biggest fucking issue on the planet. His absurd need to be the best at everything he did, his cold demeanor and venom that spews from his mouth -- you wanted nothing more than to punch him directly in the throat. 

With a deep breath, you flipped open your Soulmate Journal. 

The world was such a strange place, full of quirks and criminals and heroes and villains. To add on top of that, when you turn thirteen a journal just… appears. And whoever is your soulmate can read everything you write. Once they read it, they can reply or talk to you that way and the ink disappears. There are plenty of rules that go along with it, like if you turn thirteen before your soulmate does, the ink is red until they receive their own journal. Or how the journal itself is indestructible. Or the biggest rule: you cannot write any given name. 

When you’re thirteen, your life is full of hope and wishful thinking. Almost everyone at that age is excited to start writing to their Person, the one who they were supposed to be created to be with. You were surprised when you opened yours to find nothing written.

You assumed that you were a bit older than your soulmate, but that was quickly shut down as you wrote in black ink. Your soulmate hadn’t written anything. 

It took two months for him to write back. Two months of your excessive writing and nearly diary-like entries. Two months of you wondering if they would ever write back. Until he did.

Today sucked.

That was all you wrote, your past two months of writing still ever present and glaring at you with smudges and hinted annoyance. The ink started to fade like Harry talking to Tom Riddle, reappearing with new handwriting.

It was scrawled across the page with terrible handwriting, very much one of a middle school boy. 

Life sucks. Deal with it.

You were now twenty two, an adult and that once hope and love has turned into pessimism and indifference. And life still sucked. 

You were pretty famous, your air manipulation quirk one that catches a lot of attention. That, alongside your rivalry with the second most famous hero Bakugou, brought an abundance of recognition. Bakugou completely steals your thunder every chance he has, stealing your light and victories. 

You hated him. With the utmost disrespect, you hated him. Since your days in the hero academy, the two of you were at each other’s throats. He would even stop in the middle of antagonizing Deku to make some horrendous comment towards you instead. 

You ended up scribbling along the Soulmate Pages, heated rage boiling with each word.

Hey Honey! I need to vent if that’s okay.

Of course.

You would not believe the shit I have to endure in real life. I wish I could describe the hatred I have for this man I work with, he’s a real piece of shit. Anyway, how was your day?

My day was about the same as yours, living with the idiots of real life. If we could write names I would because there’s this bitch I work with that I fucking hate.

Maybe we need new jobs (insert laughing face even though I’m livid right now)

Yeah. Maybe. But we’ll get through it.

It took years for your soulmate to warm up to you. The first interactions were hesitant, slow, and barely considered conversations. But now you can discuss your day as if you were texting a friend, talk about your likes and dislikes. 

He was your soulmate after all.

You learned that he was a boy and an only kid, he had a strong quirk, and that he liked ramen. He was a rule follower and his handwriting always used proper punctuation. You told him all about your life and how you wanted to travel away from everything.

You wanted to know who he was, more than anything. 

You wished you could tell him your name and quirk, where you lived and who you were. You wished he could do the same. 

You’ve tried, of course, to write out your name and location. But the second the words were written onto the page, they turned into a random assortment of letters. Gibberish. Never to be written, never to be known.

“Dude, fucking relax!” You rubbed your temple at your desk, voice spitting venom against Bakugou’s loud vocals. ���Not everything is about you, just sit down and wait to be sent on a mission.”

“What did you say to me?”

Katsuki Bakugou had been going on and on about how Deku got assigned to a mission in upper Japan, sent to work with a separate force for a bit to expand his horizon. He was outraged, yelling and standing tall and broad to pretend to be bigger than he was. 

You were doing paperwork, trying to concentrate despite his yelling and complaining and bitching. You were hovering above your seat with your legs crossed, papers scattered (it was a habit of yours, to just kind of hover a couple of inches off the surface of things; air manipulation and all that). 

“I said,” You turned to look into his ablaze eyes. “Sit down and wait. Not everything is about you.”

You only threw fuel into his fire, you could hear the sparking between his fingers. You turned back to your paperwork. 

“You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not even in the top five heroes.” Bakugou barked in your direction. You could feel his heat as he approached your desk. “You can sit and do your own paperwork all you want! I need to be put on serious cases, just like stupid Deku is always placed on.”

“You can argue with me all you want.” You moved to continue your work, pretending to be unbothered. You could feel the anger boil in your chest. “But you still are and will always be measly little number two. Now shut the fuck up, you’re interrupting those who are actually working.”

He was going to hit you, you knew he was. You two ended up fist fighting all the time, oxygen and explosions ending in destruction. Before he could, your boss walked in with a bellowing, “Bakugou! Get over here, I have something for your loud ass!”

You decided to give him a bored middle finger as he walked away.

They say that words are the way of life. You could say an infinite amount of words and sentences in your lifespan, you could say a word and only ever say it one time. Each assortment of words are different each time, something new every day. 

You figured that’s why you hated the soulmate thing. 

Finding your soulmate should be one of chance, of pure coincidence and meeting of strangers. With the journal, you are starting something you only hope to find. You could go your whole life without finding your soulmate.

And that is terrifying.

There are horror stories of writing to an endless notebook, sad movies created where the lettering turns back to red before they’ve found each other. You wanted nothing more than to meet and just… be with the man you’ve been writing to since you were thirteen.

It seemed to be some sick joke, a tease in the palm of your hands.

When you were young, you attended UA High. It was meant to be the best school for heroes, grooming them into the best of the best. Both of your parents had been heroes themselves, your mom with a cloud quirk and your dad with wings. You took after a bit of both, no wings and no clouds but could create air currents and manipulate the air surrounding you within a certain radius. It has something to do with your breath and lungs, but you never looked too much into the actual DNA aspect. 

When you arrived in the hero program, you passed the tests with ease. You tried to focus mainly on yourself and gaining your own points, alongside a couple of students with the same idea. 

You were pissed when you were placed in 1-B instead of 1-A. It was the start of your rivalry with the explosion boy. 

Luckily, you quickly gained friends. You actually seemed to have a soft spot for Hitoshi Shinsou, and you and Itsuka Kendou seemed to be the only two with brains (this led to many conversations resulting in shit talking and giggling). So in the end, you weren’t too upset to be placed in the second best class. 

And you did get to fight with Bakugou a lot more without punishment, your professor wanting to be number one as much as anyone else. 

One particular day that you remember to this day, one that really labeled your hatred for Bakuogu, was just a normal day at first. You were finished with your normal morning classes and just beginning the hero portion of the day, the training and fighting. 

Your class was working with Class 1-A for the day, teaming up with one of their students and seeing how your quirks would act both against and with each other.

You were, of course, teamed with Bakugou.

The fucker was already set in his ways, loud and in need of attention at all times. You were well aware of his… loud personality… at that point, being beside Shinsou when he called your class “extras”. He was already someone you wanted nothing to do with. 

“Good luck.” Kendou muttered to you when your names were announced as partners. “See ya.”

The second you headed to him, you could feel his apprehension. He wanted nothing to do with you. And you wanted nothing to do with him. In fact, you were hoping for Uraraka as your partner, wanting to see how your air manipulation would work with her gravity. 

Apparently the professors wanted to see the oxygen working with the burst of flames. Which, honestly, is cool yes — but it was the person behind the explosions that you did not want to be a part of.

Bakugou was not one to mumble under his breath. 

“Why am I paired with you?” He rolled his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest. “I could at least be with someone interesting like Mind Control over there.”

You already wanted to punch him. “You’ve obviously never seen my quirk.”

“Clearly it hasn’t been interesting enough to be worth my attention.”

“Say that again when I remove the oxygen straight from your lungs.” You threatened, knowing damn well you didn’t know how to do that yet. “Let’s just get this over with.”

He let out a long exhale, moving into position. You were already flying by the time he let off his first explosion.

His utter disrespect for you and your quirk not only irritated you, but only was the start of a long term competition on Who Can Be Better Than Who that lasted the rest of your time at UA.

Through the constant loud arguments, the yelling in the cafeteria and the comments just loud enough for the other to hear, the fist fights and the swearing that was reserved only for each other, you found comfort in talking to your soulmate. It was relaxing after a long day of pure annoyance and shit talking to finally just get to have normal conversations with someone you enjoy. 

Are we allowed to ask about school in this thing?

I don’t think so.

I’m sighing. Pretend that you could hear my sigh.

Wow, that was a loud sigh.

YOU’RE FUNNY! Anyway, I really want to know if we go to school together :(((

I don’t even think we can talk about JRTPD or BO::SOMD. See, they turn into gibberish.

 I mean… we can say school. So we can ask ABOUT school just not… specific schools. 

That’s true. I go to a special school and am the best in my class. You’re getting lucky by having me as a soulmate.

Well I would only hope so. Need a smart soulmate for fun facts.

Fun fact: you’re pretty cool. I guess.

Ah, the admission of your love for me.

Not love. I don’t hate talking to you if that does anything for you.

The one person you don’t hate. I’ll take it, Soulmate.

Don’t push it.

We should give each other nicknames. Since we can’t call each other by our real names.

Does the book allow it?

My parents did it before they found each other.

Okay. Like what?

I can call you Hot Head, because you’re hot and because you are always writing about how mad you are.

No.

I can always go with something cute like Honey.

This is gross. I was thinking like gamer tag nicknames.

Okay, Honey.

I take back what I said, asshole.

Honey and Asshole. The perfect pair. We could solve crimes!

I’m going to bed now.

Goodnight Honey ♡ I know that you aren’t reading these but you will in the morning. Dork.

“Do you know who your soulmate is?” You asked.

You were hanging out with Kendou, Monoma, and Shinsou in Kendou’s bedroom. The dorm rooms were all set up the exact same way, but for some reason Kendou’s always seemed to be bigger. 

“No idea.” Monoma shrugged. “I don’t think I want to know until I’m older, we’re too young and I want to focus on graduating first.”

“He’s right.” Kendou twisted in her position on her bed. “Why? Do you want to know who yours is?”

“I want to know more than anything.” You sighed. Your head was laid across Shinsou’s lap on the floor. “We get along so well and I try to talk to him every day.”

“How do you know it’s a he?”

“He told me.” You laughed. “We tried really hard to narrow it down as much as possible.”

“It sounds like he wants to know you too.” Kendou said. She giggled. “I should ask my soulmate their gender.”

“What about you, Shinsou?”

“I barely write to mine.” He shrugged, making your head tilt a little. “I’m sure they understand.”

“I’m sure they do, they were made to be yours.” You looked up at him with a smile. “Of everyone, I thought you would write the most.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because most people are scared to talk to you in real life.”

He flicked your forehead. “You aren’t scared to talk to me.”

“I’m not scared to talk to anyone.”

“I’ve noticed.”

You sighed and closed your Soulmate Journal, the rain now casting a dark shadow across the entirety of the sky. Your face was flushed in red, hair disheveled and you were still in your hero uniform, dirty and kind of burnt. 

Katsuki Bakugou had not only interrupted your victory, but he had claimed it as his own. His desperation to be the number one hero hadn’t stopped. It’s been years, you’ve grown past his stupid desire and he simply… hasn’t.

You fought the villain yourself, using your quirk to it’s full capabilities and trapping them in a circle of air. You fought for over an hour by yourself, taking up the mission while out and witnessing it first hand. Your freshly bought coffee was long forgotten as you raced after the thief.

The second you landed the thief, the ball of air dissipating as you grew tired, Bakugou arrived in a fiery feat and handcuffed the villain. Of course, the main photos were of him with the handcuffs, standing proud as if he hadn’t stolen your fight. 

His argument was that he did help. Yeah, he did ‒ for three seconds.

Katsuki Bakugou was a piss stain upon himself, truly the worst of the worst who’s own personal interest outweighs anything else in his life. He will never be anything but second best because he never thinks of anyone but himself. 

If only he could read thoughts instead of turning his sweat to ignition. Then you wouldn’t have to put your harsh thoughts into tone.

Your Soulmate was one of two people you genuinely enjoyed talking to, he always seemed to be on the same page as you. The other is Shinsou, from your high school. He was the only one you really kept in contact with.

Sometimes you like to convince yourself that Shinsou is your soulmate, since he hasn’t found his either. But you compared the handwriting and it didn’t match at all. Shinsou’s handwriting was much smaller and neater than the man you would eventually call yours.

“This is so fucking stupid!” You screamed, your rage reaching its max.

You threw your journal across your bedroom, the storm masking the sound of it banging against the wall by your bed. You were pissed, you wanted nothing more than to see Bakugou’s downfall. It’s been years. You were over it.

You were over it all. You were over him, you were over not knowing your soulmate, you were over being alone in your stupid apartment. It all reached it’s apex. Maybe you needed a shower, or maybe you needed to move from your job.

Your fit was interrupted by a loud crash on the roof of your apartment building. You nearly jumped at the sound, the sound not even close to the crashes of thunder. 

You rushed to the roof, your hero senses kicking in more than your regular carefulness. Once you were outside, you were almost instantly drenched in the rain. Only a couple of yards ahead of you was a man crumbled to the ground; they must’ve hit the roof harder than you thought.

When they turned, clutching their side, you knew instantly who it was.

“Deku?” You rushed towards him. “I thought you were in Hirosaki for some serious villain.”

He moved to stand, much taller and broad than he was back in high school. Yet still with the fluffy green hair and bright eyes with hope always seemingly sewed in. 

“I was. I just… I need your help.”

“Why do you need my help?” You helped him stand fully, taking his hand from his side to check for an injury. He wasn’t bleeding. “Doesn’t Uraraka live around here?”

“I don’t… want to involve her in this.” He stood straight. His healing must’ve started. “I… this is something I need you for.”

“Okay…” You crossed your arms. “What do you need?”

“I know what you’re going to say.” Deku started, and you didn’t move. “But it’s Bakugou.”

“No.”

“C’mon, Aero, I know that you two…”

“No.”

“Please, I…”

“Deku, you know more than anyone how and who he is. Whatever it is, he can deal with it himself.” You started back towards the stairs. “I appreciate you coming to me, for whatever reason, but this is something that you have to find someone else for.”

“Don’t think of this as us doing something for him.” Deku rushed to stand in front of you. “Think of it as a favor for me. You owe me one.”

“Don’t do this now.” 

“I’m officially cashing in my favor.”

You sighed, “Fine. Can you at least tell me what we need to do for the asshole?”

“I’ll tell you on the way.” He nearly jumped in joy. “But you cannot tell anyone. Not Shinsou, not the police, and not our boss. This is under the radar.”

“Oh, shit.” You followed him as you flew next to him. “What are you getting me into?”

tag list: @katsulovee @paradisebabey @seaofemptygold @zhaixiaowen @daylghits @haikyuusimp91 @darknessyournewfriend @samwise-though @liaxxx109

[violetlilysunshine]

Your First Time - 18+

Harry Holland x Female Reader

Summary: You lose your virginity to Harry.

WC: 4,154

Warnings: 18+, smut, loss of virginity, dry humping, swearing, fingering, protected sex

MINORS DNI

A/N: tagging a few ladies who wanted this <3 and posting today to celebrate Kena finishing school! Happy graduation, darling!

@harryhollandsgirlfriend @thegirlintheswivelchair

If you are choosing to continue reading below, you are saying that you are 18 years of age or older and therefore are consuming this content at your own risk. Warnings are listed above, so you can consume what you are comfortable with of course. If I find out that you are a minor consuming my 18+ content, you will be blocked and reported.

MASTERLIST

You and Harry had had the best day together. You spent the day walking around London, enjoying the fresh air and soaking up some time with his family. He didn’t get to be home very often, always flitting about with Tom, and this was the first time that he brought you back with him. You finally got to meet his parents and Paddy, which you were more than happy about.

You’d filled the day with golfing, lunch, a little bit of shopping, a walk with Tessa to the park, a home-cooked dinner a la Sam, and finally a movie night, before heading back to your hotel. Harry of course offered you to stay with him at his parents’ house but you thought that might be a little awkward, especially with a full house since Sam came in. Tonight, he decided that he wanted to stay with you at the hotel, soaking up as much alone time as he could get with you.

“Hi, babe,” Harry greeted you, pecking you on the cheek, as he crawled into bed behind you.

You turned over on your side so you could face him and brought a hand up to push his curls off his forehead. Harry wrapped one arm over your waist, settling his other hand underneath the pillow. You studied his face, taking in every detail. You were so in love with him, it hurt. As much as you wanted to tell him this, you were afraid to drop the “L Word” just yet.

“What’s on your mind, beautiful?” He asked you, making you look into his eyes. He always knew when you were churning something over in your head.

You took a deep breath, a little shy to talk about it, “you know that thing we were talking about a little while back?” you started, still brushing his curls with your fingers.

“Darling, you’re going to have to be a little more specific…” he laughed as he trailed off.

“You know, the thing, with us?” you said gesturing between the two of you. He raised his eyebrow in response, not picking up what you were putting down. You sighed, “the thing…” you emphasized, widening your eyes at him.

“Sweetheart, I cannot read your mind, just tell me what’s going on, please,” he answered, laughing and rubbing his fingertips over your waist lightly.

“I don’t know how to talk about these things!”

“You can tell me anything, safe space, remember?”

“Okay, well you know how we were getting a little heated and I pushed you away, saying I wasn’t ready yet. And you were so sweet about it, and you told me that you’re ready whenever I’m ready?” You asked him, hoping that was enough for him to connect the dots.

“Yeah, I remember all of that. My statement still stands, I’m ready when you are, but no pressure. I don’t mind waiting, it’s a big decision,” he told you, eyes locked on yours and eyebrows raised in sincerity.

“Well, I’m ready,” you breathed out.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

“100%? Positive? No doubt in your mind? Because really, I’ll wait forever if you want. I don’t want to push you into anything,” he answered.

“100%. Absolutely positive. Please, Harry, I want to have sex with you.”

“Yeah?” he answered, almost cheekily, a small smirk replacing his serious face.

You giggled quietly, happy with his change of attitude, “yeah, Harry.”

“Like right now, or…?” he trailed off.

“Well if you’re up for it,” you answered, getting a little nervous. You had groomed a bit before getting in bed tonight, trimming up your downstairs, putting on chapstick, and brushing your hair out instead of just jumping into bed with the same ponytail you’d been sporting all day.

“Yeah, sweets, of course I’m up for it,” he answered quickly and excitedly.

Your nerves settled about him, but the ones about actually doing the deed kicked into high gear. You looked at him, your eyes growing just the slightest bit wider and your breathing picking up its pace. Harry could feel the change in you, wanting to put you at ease.

“We’ll go slow, yeah? And if you don’t want to right now, we can wait until later, or if we start and you change your mind, we can stop. I won’t be mad; just want you to feel good, darling,” he reassured you.

“Thank you, bubs, but I want this. Just slow…”

“Slow,” he repeated back to you.

Harry pushed you over onto your back lightly, pushing himself up to hover over you. He kissed up the side of your neck to just under your ear, beginning to suck lightly. He gnawed at the spot, making sure to leave a bruise for everyone to see tomorrow. Once he was satisfied with his work, he pulled back and looked into your eyes lovingly.

Harry slowly leaned down connecting your lips. He started out slow and sweet, moving your mouths together languidly, before stroking his tongue across your bottom lip. You let him in, and he explored your mouth for a while, relaxing you before moving any further.

He began to slowly run one hand up your side, moving your sleep dress around, causing it to ride up your thighs. It’s not like Harry hadn’t seen your legs before, but it had always been innocent, your shirt accidentally riding up while sharing a hotel bed together, or your dress coming up a little when you sat down, but this was different. You started to get a little nervous again, knowing that something was coming after this.

Harry could feel you tense up just the slightest bit and he pulled back from you, “okay, love?” he asked, “want to stop?”

“No, no, just nervous is all.”

“Okay, you’ll let me know if you do, right?”

“Right,” you breathed.

“Maybe I’ll go first, yeah?” he spoke, quietly.

“Okay,” you whispered.

Harry reached down to the hem of his shirt and slowly pulled it over his head. You’d seen him shirtless before, but never in this context. You felt the room heat up exponentially and your breathing picked up again.

“Just relax, I’ve got you,” he spoke quietly, brushing his lips against yours before connecting them fully once again.

You sighed into his mouth, deciding to focus on his taste instead of overthinking everything. You wanted to enjoy this because, after all, you only get one first time; you didn’t want to hate this experience for the rest of your life.

Harry began to rub your side again, this time pulling your dress up purposefully.

“Can I take this off?” he spoke against your lips, not opening his eyes and pecking you again before you could answer.

“Yes,” you breathed out.

He bunched the hem up in his hands before leaning back on the bed to sit the both of you up, facing each other; you lifted your hips off the mattress and he pulled it off of you completely. You bunched the blanket around your hips, keeping yourself covered just a bit.

You didn’t know how to sit, so you mimicked his pose, sitting up on your feet, bumping your knees into his.

He sucked in a deep breath, blowing it out against your chest, causing goosebumps to rise on your skin.

“Wow,” he breathed, staring at your figure. You adorned yourself in your white bra with a little white bow in the center; you didn’t have anything particularly enticing, never having had the courage to go into a store like that before, so you picked your newest bra, hoping it would look the best and not ragged like some of the others.

He’d seen you in a bathing suit before, but you usually opted for one pieces or high-waisted bottoms, protecting your modesty. You were never a g-string kind of girl.

The longer he stared, the more nervous you got; you wrapped your arms around your waist quickly, pulling away from him slightly.

“No, no, no, no, don’t do that darling,” he said, reaching out to grab your wrists and pull your arms away from yourself, “let me look at you… god you’re gorgeous,” he spoke, his voice dropping in pitch.

He memorized the curve of your breasts and the way the underwire bent around your side, the rise and fall of your chest as you breathed deeply, and the definition of your top two abs - he knew you’d been working out for a while, but now he finally got to see the results your hard work. He leaned forward, kissing you again.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he pulled you closer to him by your waist. Your lips moulded together again, a mess of spit and teeth.

You relaxed quite a bit in that moment with him, something in the air changed. You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but you knew you had made the right decision tonight.

He pulled back, looking into your eyes again, before reaching a hand up to your face. He tenderly brushed your hair out of the way and over your shoulders before reaching down to pull on your bra strap.

“Can I take this off too, love?”

“Please.”

He reached around your back, unhooking the clasp gently before pulling it forward and off of your body. He tossed the garment down to the end of the bed, watching it land before he looked back at you.

“Wow,”

“You already said that,” you chuckled.

“I know, but just, wow…” he laughed back, “can’t believe you’re mine.”

He took one breast into his hand, squeezing gently and rolling your nipple between his thumb and first finger. You moaned out just the slightest bit at the feeling, closing your eyes for just a second as you let him explore. He switched to the other and repeated his movements before gliding his hands down to settle against your ribcage.

You opened your eyes again and were met with his beautiful smile; you smiled back as he guided you onto your back. He slipped under the blanket with you.

He hovered over you, straddling your hips, and kissing you again. The blanket rested over the top of him, caging the both of you. You felt in your own world underneath it; just you and him together. You kissed a little while longer, before he got back at it.

He pulled back, locking eyes with you, “me first again?”

“Can I do it?” you asked quietly.

“Of course, darling,” he spoke, pecking your lips.

The both of you looked down between your bodies as you gently brought your hands up to his waist band. You slowly pushed both his gym shorts and boxers down at his hips. He looked up, watching your face instead of your hands. He knew what he looked like; he wanted to see you instead.

You had your brows pulled together, watching your hands intently. You never touched his skin, just his clothes. A move you didn’t consciously make, but one that turned him on even more. The teasing feeling of having you so close to him, but never touching his bare body went straight to his head. Then of course once he’d processed that, straight to his dick.

The idea of seeing his front was much more intimidating than the back, so you started there, easing yourself in; you guided his shorts over his backside gently before moving forward. You slipped the front of his waistbands down, his cock springing out and hitting his stomach.

Your mouth parted a bit as you looked at him. Your eyes zeroed in on his tip, which was swollen and leaking. You couldn’t even process how that was supposed to fit inside of you, but before you could get really nervous, Harry pulled your chin up to look him square in the face.

“Slow, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you breathed.

“Don’t worry, darling, I’m right here,” he spoke. He leaned down and connected your lips again.

He lowered himself onto you, rocking down onto your clothed center a little bit, not being able to help himself. He sucked in a harsh breath, stroking you a few times before he realized what he was doing.

He pulled away quickly, “sorry love, sorry, I’m so sorry -”

“No, don’t stop,” you moaned, pulling him against you again.

He rocked his hips against yours again, this time with more force. His cock stroked up and down your mound, the only thing separating you was your thin panties. He changed the angle of his hips causing his tip to bump your clit in just the right way. You moaned again, much louder this time, and gripped onto his biceps. You were starting to feel it now, a pit building in your stomach and a patch dampening in your panties.

He breathed out against your ear, pressing the side of his face into your temple, “feels so good, love, but - fuuuccckkk - have to stop, want to take care of you first.”

“Yeah, yeah, okay,” you panted out. You didn’t want him to stop, it felt so good, but you didn’t want it to end here. You wanted to go all the way.

He reluctantly pulled himself back after a few more strokes, climbing off of you and resting next to you. He pulled the blanket off of the both of you, finally getting to see your bottom half for the first time tonight.

“Oh god,” he breathed, “you’ve been doing a number on me all day, love, but this?”

He ran two fingers over the waistband of your white cotton panties. You wanted to match your set and this was the closest thing you had. He played with the bow at the center a little, rolling it between his fingers just like he had with your nipple.

“This?” he referenced the bow, “this sends me over the edge.”

You laughed at him, your cheeks heating up and turning pink.

He slipped his index finger into the band gently, “can these come off?”

“Yes, please,” you nodded quickly.

You lifted your hips off the mattress as he pulled on either side of your panties, gently pushing them down your thighs. You rested back down, lifting your ankles up and allowing him to remove your panties completely. He tossed them down to join your bra as he turned his attention back to you.

He placed one finger on your chest between your breasts, tracing it all the way down your body gently. It ticked a bit and he stopped just below your belly button, “so beautiful,” he breathed.

You felt hot under his gaze, your body reacting, your flush spreading down your neck and collarbones. He started moving his hand again, gently running his fingertip over your mound and to your clit. He bumped it ever so lightly, your body jolting at the contact. He smirked, looking up at you again.

“So responsive, she is.”

All you could do was whine as he pressed down a little harder before his fingers trailed down to your slit, gathering up your wetness. He scooped a bit onto two fingers, spreading it around before rubbing your clit again.

You moaned out, feeling the knot in your stomach tighten again; he pressed down a little harder, bringing his other hand into the mix and poking one finger at your entrance. He pushed in lightly, watching your face, not wanting to hurt you or move too fast.

You accepted his finger quickly, moaning louder and grabbing onto his bicep again. He began to pump his hand in and out, still circling your clit with the other. You started to rock with him, raising your shoulders off the bed a bit so you could watch. You held yourself on one elbow, your other hand still locked on his arm.

He added another finger quickly, still pumping into you slowly, letting you adjust. Your breathing got heavier as the pit in your stomach built even more.

“That’s it love, just like that,” Harry spoke as you rocked against his hand, “taking my fingers so well.”

“Faster, Harry please,” you moaned, urging him on.

He pumped in and out of you rapidly, circling your clit with fervor. He slipped in a third finger without stopping. You felt the burn as he stretched you, but it quickly dissipated into pleasure as the knot in your stomach was about to burst.

“Almost there, don’t stop... don’t stop… don’t stop,” you breathed.

“Come on, babe, cum for me, show me how pretty you look when you come,” he spoke, looking right into your eyes.

That was all it took to push you over the edge. You hit your peak and rocked against Harry’s hand even harder. Your nails dug into his bicep, leaving marks in their wake, as you tried to ground yourself to something. Your mouth dropped into an “o,” your eyes screwed shut, and your head fell back on its own accord.

“That’s it, just like that, even prettier than I imagined. So good, love, so so good.”

Harry worked you through your orgasm, slowing his fingers to an eventual stop as you came down.

When you came to and opened your eyes, Harry was smiling down at you. You don’t know how long it took you to come back, but he was waiting oh so patiently. His hands now rested on your stomach, stroking lightly. You released your death grip on his arm, smiling back at him, and rubbing your fingers over the marks.

“Sorry,” you breathed, referencing the bruises bound to show up on his arm.

“Don’t apologize, darling,” he laughed, glancing at his arm, “totally worth it.”

“That was… wow…”

“That’s my line.”

You laughed quickly, just enjoying each others’ company. You were very blissed out from your first orgasm, but oh so desperate to have him inside of you.

“Got a condom?” you asked him.

“Well, uh, I didn’t really think about that when we started, and uh, no I don’t,” he stuttered, “but don’t worry about me, we can just stop right here if you want, or I can do you again, or we could try some other things that, ya know, that can’t get you pregnant, or I can just finish myself later, whatever you want.”

“I’m kidding, bubba,” you giggled, “but that was cute.”

“What?”

“You’re cute. I know you didn’t expect this to happen, I came prepared,” you laughed again, reaching over and pulling a new box of condoms from the drawer beside you.

“Oh, you cheeky girl,” he laughed, poking your sides.

You giggled back at him as he took the box from your hands, ripping open the packaging and pulling one out.

“You’re sure?” he asked again, “we don’t have to do anymore, promise, darling.”

“Oh my god, just fuck me already!” you laughed loudly at him. You were glad he was letting you lead this experience, but you just wanted to get on with it.

“Alright, alright,” he laughed back, ripping open one of the packages and sliding the rubber down his length.

He positioned himself over you once again, slotting between your legs. He bent them at your knees for you before reaching down and holding onto one of your hips, his other hand tugged on his cock a few times.

“Tell me if it’s too much, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you breathed.

He nudged your entrance with his tip, gathering up some of your orgasm and spreading it down his length. He slowly pushed inside of you and you sucked in a sharp breath through your teeth.

“Talk to me, love,” he groaned out as he stilled halfway inside of you.

“I’m okay, I’m okay,” you gritted out, eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched.

“You don’t look okay,” he spoke with concern, considering just pulling out on his own, not waiting for you to tell him to. His hips started to slowly move out of you before you grabbed his sides.

“No, no, no, don’t leave. Just give me a couple breaths.”

“Anything for you, dear,” he answered lightly, bending down to kiss you.

You kissed him back quickly, adjusting to his size. He felt your walls relax around him as he turned his head to kiss down your neck.

“More,” you spoke quietly in his ear.

He pushed in three quarters of the way, stilling once again as you contracted around him.

“Breathe, baby girl,” he spoke against your neck as he felt you holding in your breath. You didn’t even know you were doing so.

You breathed shallowly, your walls releasing a bit. He finally pushed in the rest of the way, his hips now sitting flush against yours. He moaned against your neck as he bottomed out. He was fighting back against himself so hard. He wanted to pound into your tight cunt, mercisessly, but he knew he had to hold back. You’d get to that point one day.

Your breath fanned against his neck as he tucked himself even closer to you. You felt his arms begin to shake from holding himself up above you.

“Lay on me,” you spoke so softly he almost missed it.

“What?”

“Relax, bubba, lay on me, please,” you breathed.

He released his weight gingerly, wrapping his arms around your back completely; he wasn’t all that heavy and you enjoyed feeling him on you. Your arms wrapped around his sides as you gently ran your nails over his back.

You stayed like this for quite a while, the both of you relishing in the feeling of each other.

“Okay, Har, move, please,” you finally spoke.

He slowly started pumping in and out of you, gently knocking your hips together over and over. He braced his weight on his knees on either side of yours as he moved. You loved the feel of his skin gliding up against yours.

Your walls contracted around him as you began to grow close again. This time much faster than before. You moaned in each other’s ears, faces buried in necks, kissing every so often.

“Dunno how long I’m going to last, darling, sorry,” he grunted out, deeply.

“Me either, Har,” you moaned against him as he gave a lick to the side of your neck.

You moved one hand down in between the two of you as he pulled out again; you began to rub at your clit trying to get yourself to your high faster.

“No, love, let me,” he scolded you lightly, pushing your hand away and replacing it with his own as he rolled the two of you over just a bit. The change in position caused him to hit your spot just right.

You moaned out louder than you ever had before as he hit it.

“Oh yeah, right there?” he asked, beginning to pound into you harder, aiming for that spot over and over, fingers flying over your clit.

“Oh. My. God. Just. Like. That.” you cried out, each word accented with a thrust of his hips.

He pressed down on your clit harder, sending you over the edge once again. You all but screamed as you hit your peak, contracting around him.

You were squeezing him so hard, he had to slow the movements of his hips, but it didn’t matter all that much as he hit his high as well, shooting his load into the condom.

You both came down, slowly, breathing heavily against each other. He leaned back a bit to look into your eyes, smiling brightly.

“God, baby, wow.”

“Yeah, wow,” you laughed.

He jerked his hips back to pull out of you, and you hissed at the feeling, overstimulated as all hell.

“Sorry, love, sorry,” he spoke, moving slower until he was all the way out of you. He untangled your limbs, and strolled into the bathroom, disposing of the condom, wiping himself up, and grabbing a wet cloth to clean you as well.

He returned and wiped you up gently, whispering praises to you, before going back to the bathroom to put the cloth away. He glanced at himself in the mirror, his hair a mess, curls sweaty and ruined, bruises littering his arms from your grip, and lips almost bruised, but he’d never felt better.

When he came back to the bed, he looked at you lying there. You looked almost like him, bruised lips, hickeys scattered about, hair a mess, but as gorgeous as ever.

He sighed, falling onto the mattress next to you, wrapping around you to spoon again.

He pecked your cheek, “happy darling?”

“More than happy, Harry,” you whispered back, turning over and kissing him again.

“Good.”

You kissed a few more seconds before you started to nod off in his arms.

“Get some rest,” he said gently, brushing your hair with his fingers and pecking around your forehead, “you’ll need it,” he chuckled.

You slapped his chest lightly, “Harry!’

He just laughed in response, pecking you again, before you both fell asleep peacefully.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Could you talk about the Statute of Secrecy? Or the Ministry’s corruption in General :)

Well, those are two different things. Given that I believe I have an ask floating somewhere in my inbox on the Statute, I suppose we’ll talk about the Ministry of Magic today.

I feel like this is such a broad topic though that I’m not quite sure where to start. I guess I’ll just throw spaghetti at the internet wall and see what sticks.

The Ministry is a Reflection of Society Who Never Admitted They Were the Death Eaters

In the ministry of Harry Potter’s era the Ministry is hopelessly corrupt and filled to the brim with spies (more on this in a later section). Lucius Malfoy, very high up in an unofficial capacity in the Ministry and owner of the Ministry’s mouth piece: The Daily Prophet, was a known Death Eater with a very flimsy excuse.

How is he even able to wield so much influence, you ask? Well, I think it’s not just because of Fudge picking the wrong friends.

I think most the population probably does believe Lucius Malfoy is innocent the way Fudge does. I think it’s a very small subsection, i.e. Dumbledore’s lackies, who go “Nah, ain’t buying it.” I think that, in 1981, when it came time to reveal just how many were Death Eaters and how far this went many people just couldn’t handle it.

Because it was to the point where the nation wasn’t battling Death Eaters, Death Eaters were the nation. Look at the members, these are and were the most influential and prominent families in the country, who combined hold a non-small minority of seats in the Wizengamot. More, these were only the participants, combine those who given anti-muggle and muggleborn sentiment (which I believe are pervasive even among those who claim they fight for the rights of muggles and muggleborns) and you get a nation that is suddenly facing a huge cultural issue that was never previously acknowledged.

We’re talking an entire purge of the Wizengamot, of the Ministry, of the major families and cornerstones of this society. The Black family is completely and utterly destroyed.

People were and remain throughout the 1990′s, desperate to believe it was not as bad as it was or isn’t as bad as it is. If Lucius Malfoy says he was never really a Death Eater then he was never really a Death Eater.

The Ministry is Lousy With Corruption and Spies

What’s hilarious to me is not only is the Ministry incompetent. It is positively flooded with spies. Given the ministry’s overbloated, it’s not even a sizeable minority of employees, but nonetheless every major department has at least one person (if not more) who works for somebody else.

Most work for Tom Riddle. He seems to have intelligence in every department. Through Lucius, who is working pretty much as an unofficial aide to Fudge, he has access to Fudge, complete control of the Daily Prophet, and a voice on the Hogwarts’ board of governors.

Through Rockwood, Tom has direct access to the Department of Mysteries which Lucius is then able to take full advantage of.

Lucius is able to set up an ambush in the Department of Mysteries, getting escaped convicts into the building with the none the wiser, and, had his sole purpose not been a prophecy that only Harry Potter and the Dark Lord can touch, he would have been able to take what he liked. (Though it was always odd to me that the plan was to get Harry Potter to do it, when the better solution would have been to polyjuice Tom Riddle into someone else, set up a tour with the department, and then Tom wanders off conveniently to pick up the prophecy. My theory, I suppose, is that chasing after the prophecy was mostly an exercise in punishing Lucius. And then Lucius fucked up.)

And of course, in book seven, Tom Riddle makes a puppet minister. Point being, to me, it always said a lot that in Book Seven Tom just sort of walks into the building and says, “I’m in charge now” and everyone says “okay”. There was no second Wizarding War, it was a bloodless coup that met zero resistance from anyone but angry school children. 

But that’s Tom’s spies, we also have other spies. Who am I talking about, Dumbledore’s folks of course.

Shacklebolt, Moody, Tonks, and Arthur Weasley are all spies, they just don’t have the introspection to even realize it (which really tells you something about the state of corruption in the ministry). They all work for the ministry, yes, but they in fact pass on information to and serve another master, whose goals do not always align with the government and was a hop skip and a jump away from overthrowing the government at any given moment.

And they don’t even really realize they’re doing this! There doesn’t even seem to be a thought of “I’m doing this for the greater good”, they don’t seem to acknowledge that what they’re doing is very very very bad. Arthur, in fact, is appalled when Percy refuses to do this (well, he’s upset for a lot of reasons, such as that he thinks Percy is spying on Arthur for the minister, but in there is also that Percy refuses to help out with the Order or follow Dumbledore without question). 

Harry paints the Dumbledore’s Army threat that Umbridge saw as something utterly ridiculous, but honestly if I was the ministry I would be worried about this. Dumbledore’s people have infiltrated the ministry just as deeply and badly as the Death Eaters, Dumbledore’s known for recruiting children into his vigilante organization, I don’t know what he’s doing with an army of schoolchildren but I can smell a coup coming.

Anyway, I’m getting off track, point being though that corruption is not only expected and accepted by the ministry, they cannot recognize what it even is. They’re at the point where paying bribes is allocated in their budget.

I Don’t Blame the Ministry For Not Thinking Tom Riddle Was Anti-Jesus

Fudge is designed to get a lot of flack for his outright denial that Voldemort had returned from the dead. He, and other denier characters, are meant to be fools with their heads in the sand who can’t see the obvious.

I ask what about it was obvious?

The only witness to Tom Riddle’s resurrection, Harry Potter, has a known history of erratic behavior.

The previous year, he’d performed illegal magic on his muggle aunt and run away from home. During the previous school year, Harry was revealed to be a parselmouth in a time when the Chamber of Secrets was presumably opened and the mystery was never fully solved (remember, that it was a possessed Ginny never comes to light for more than a few people.) Beyond that, since his first day of school, Harry is routinely in and out of detention, constantly out after curfew, and only seems to not be in serious trouble because he’s openly favored by Dumbledore (who gives him hundreds of points for breaking one of his school rules, during the Philosopher’s Stone fiasco in first year). In 1994, Harry is entered into the Tri-Wizard Tournament under very suspicious circumstances.

We know why all this happens to Harry but from the outside he looks like a delinquent. In fact, he kind of is a delinquent. 

Point being, the only witness is not only Harry Potter (who is already sketch) but it’s Harry Potter holding a dead body of a rival in the tournament.

And he’s claiming that a man who has been nearly fifteen years dead, a man who held the nation in terror and Harry Potter is beloved for destroying, has returned from the grave and conveniently murdered Cedric.

Why is Cedric dead? Well, you see, he and Harry both touched the goblet at the same time because they were going to share the reward. The goblet, a national treasure, was turned into a portkey so that Voldemort could kidnap him.

Why didn’t Voldemort just kidnap him at any other point during the year where he’s guaranteed not to get tag a longs or the wrong kid? Uh... VOLDEMORT IS BACK (for the record, I think it’s because Barty got hung up on the goblet scheme and was determined to ruin his father’s day.)

Where is Voldemort at this very moment? Being evil, somewhere, that is not right here. No, Harry has zero evidence this happened.

Frankly, I wouldn’t believe Harry either.

And when Dumbledore goes about promoting this as sound evidence that Tom Riddle has in fact returned, it starts to get even sketchier. Rather than sounding the alarm, Dumbledore is using this boy’s madness to stir the public into a panic that he, perhaps, plans to take advantage of.

After Dumbledore does that, I would suspect that, even if Harry does give me a memory of the graveyard scene that his head had been tampered with by Dumbledore.

And it’s so convenient that, of all the names Harry picked, it’s Voldemort who killed Cedric. It seems like a ploy to not only deflect the fact that he murdered Cedric but 

Harry’s very upset when some don’t take him at his word but Harry’s also a dumbass and a psychopath. He hates everyone who doesn’t agree with him.

More importantly, necromancy isn’t a thing in the Harry Potter universe. People don’t rise from the dead. Horcruxes exist, but they’re extremely rare, and it seems like no one ever really makes use of them.

So, yeah, not unreasonable that Fudge didn’t immediately go, “My god, Voldemort has risen from the dead! LIGHT THE BEACONS AND SUMMON ROHAN!”

So yeah, it’d take me seeing Voldemort waltzing through the Department Mysteries to go “... Goddammit, this man is more unkillable than Sheev Palpatine.”

After the Epilogue, I am Certain It’s Still the Same Damn Ministry

People hate the epilogue, but in a way, I love it, because it confirms many of my headcanons: these people don’t learn a goddamn thing.

Nothing in their society seems to have changed. Instead of one set of families holding all the power it’s now a new set of families and friends holding all the power. The difference being that they are now all in some way connected to Harry Potter.

Nepotism’s still the name of the game, we still see only human children boarding the Hogwarts Express so you know shit hasn’t changed for the goblins, Draco Malfoy’s alive and well and holds a position in the Ministry that Kingsly graciously allows him to have, it’s just now you have Hermione writing all your laws for you.

The Wizarding World is still the Wizarding World in every single capacity. The only difference is that Voldemort is dead again. Hooray.

Harry and friends simply don’t have the introspection to even realize it.

[tastic-blog]

So, inspired by a recent first time viewing (how did i make it this long? No good answers) of The Holiday, I now present to you my Christmas gift to the internet 

A Comprehensive Ranking of Romcom Sweaters by Sadness

Join me in an exploration of the knitwear of these dreamy eyed seekers of love, hearts full and arms covered! Their faith: true. Their choices: frequently bad. Their necks: cold.

Two notes before I begin! First- a lot of my very serious research came from the When Romance Met Comedy series of essays by @carolinesiede This series is one of my favorite things on the internet and you should all check it out

Second- my love for this genre is deep and sincere, as is my love for sweaters. Those who dismiss either out of hand may see themselves out.

OK LET'S DO THIS

0/10 Clueless

 

None percent sadness. Your hair is thick and shining, your schemes are manifold and successful, Daddy's sucky Italian roast is doing exactly what you intended. Let your arms bask in the sun in your sweater vest of youthful triumph.

(Note- the presence of sweaters in teen romcoms are rare. Sweaters are for olds. A teen wearing a sweater is generally a nerd, a cynic, or a cynical nerd. Just another reason why Cher Horowitz is an icon.)

1/10 When Harry Met Sally...

Only a slight tinge of melancholy. Sure, Sally's been on some bad dates recently and she could probably stand to get laid. But it's autumn in New York and she's a fucking avatar of emotional well-adjustment. The sweater is perfectly fitted and perfectly tucked. God, she's in such great shape. 

+100 bonus points for Crystal serving proto Chris Evans in Knives Out realness

2/10 While You Were Sleeping

This ranking may appear controversially low, as Lucy Eleanor Moderatz is pretty fucking sad. She is alone at Christmas. Her beloved father is dead and she's fantasizing about an asshole she sees once a day from a public transit token booth. But you guys. This sweater. I've been searching for this sweater since 1995. It's enormous, yet beautifully shaped. It's the platonic ideal of coziness. SHE CAN LITERALLY HIDE PRESENTS IN HER SLEEVES. Sandy B is getting a break on the rent and peak Bill Pullman is about to lean over her, she's doing fine.

3/10 Bridget Jones Diary

Not great, but not precisely sad. Mark Darcy is at a shitty party wearing a dumb sweater and is about to thoughtlessly fuck up his romantic life. But his parents aren't the most embarrassing in the room, and he's got wine and gherkins. Things could be much worse. 

4/10 Practical Magic

 

The sadness of Sally Owens is legion, but she cried in her PJ's and she's got more pressing concerns now. She's got daughters to take care of and a thriving skincare business to run and an undead rapist to send to hell. This is a sweater that acknowledges that your sister is a glamorous fuck up with terrible taste in men, and then is ready to get down to business. It's lightly fitted, with the breathing room for serious magicks. 

(Maybe rethink the hair clips tho)

5/10 (500) Days Of Summer

 

This is where things start to take a turn for the more majorly sad. Tom is pretty pathetic. This is the saggy, washed out cardigan of a man who thinks that liking The Smiths is a meaningful character trait. It needs to be lain flat to dry, and so does Tom. But he still gets up in the morning, puts on a tiny tie, and goes to work. His depression is functional, and so is his sweater.

6/10 The Holiday- Cammy D edition

Amanda is sad in the way that only the thin, unhinged, and inexplicably wealthy can be. She has no friends. She doesn't know how to pronounce esophageal. The pristine whiteness of this cable knit is terrifying; the reckless abandon with which she waves a glass of pinot in front of it, even more so. You know that shit is dry clean only. Truly, a sadness touched with insanity.

7/ 10Love Actually, Colin Firth

The heaviest, darkest, most turtley-necked sweater to wear on a sadness vacation, sorry writer's retreat, in fucking France. What kind of whiny sack falls in love with someone with whom he cannot communicate at the most basic level? She's in her underwear, he's in an itchy monstrosity 3 sizes too big. This plot line can eat me like that collar is eating his chin.

8/10 Breakfast at Tiffany's

Who gave Holly Golightly the right to be so sad and look so good?? I spent my twenties sobbing on dozens of fire escapes and never came close. In a movie of iconic fashion, this sweatshirt is pre-American Apparel nonsense. Her soul is empty, but her hamper is apparently full because that's some laundry day shit. Her sad sweater is so sad, it trudged north and grew a depressive turban companion. 

9/10 High Fidelity and Love Actually 

 

Aka the asshole division. Above, a terrible boyfriend turned into a worse ex boyfriend in the worst fucking sweater I've ever seen. It's a Cosby sweater.  A COSBY SWEATER. And below, a creep who turned filming his best friend's wedding into an opportunity to stalk and who keeps that video WITH THE REST OF HIS REGULAR VIDEOS AND IS THAT A DETACHABLE COLLAR?? At least Rob exhibits some growth, Stalker McGee over there gets a kiss on the cheek and a pat on the ass from his movie. These guys are jerks and their sweaters are terrible.

10/10 The Holiday- Kate Winslet edition

 

The nadir of sartorial desperation. Like its wearer, Iris' sweater has given up. It has no color, no shape, and no options. It is a formless mass that won't even keep your neck warm, thereby necessitating The Stringy Scarf of Sadness. It is literally a sweater in which to contemplate suicide. Thank god Eli Wallach is waiting in the wings, because this is as bad as it gets.

Ok, I'm gonna go watch While You Were Sleeping. THANK YOU AND GOOD NIGHT

[torestoreamends]

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Recap: Part Two -- 25/05/17

Note: In case anyone’s interested, just this part alone is my longest ever recap. In total, both parts of this recap reach almost 21,000 words. I hope this is enough detail for you all! 

I’m not going to lie. After Wednesday night I felt really weird. Not unhappy, just odd. On Wednesday it felt like I was going to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, but then it was just so different on Wednesday night, and there were so many things that I was apprehensive about for Part Two, that I simply didn’t know what to expect yesterday.

It’s weird sitting in a familiar theatre, about to watch a play with a script you know back to front, and characters you know inside out, and feel that you have no idea what is about to happen, or what to expect. I was nervous, a little apprehensive, and desperately in need of a hug, which @aberorca kindly provided.

But then it began, and all my fears and worries were allayed. I feel so full of joy and excitement right now. That was really great, and some of the scenes are already my favourite versions of those scenes.

If this is what an ass kicking from John Tiffany does for people, then maybe we all need one of those in our lives. It seems to inspire great things.

I’m going to start by reassessing some of the characters, and giving some impression of the characters we only saw in Part Two. Then we’ll get down to the detail (of which I’m not sure how much there’ll be, because my brain spent most of the show screaming with euphoric relief).

Snape

David is quite literally everything you want in a Snape. He was quiet in a menacing way, full of suppressed emotion, with just the right touch of humour. I enjoyed everything about his performance.

Craig

James Phoon’s Craig might be the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. He sounds terrifyingly similar to Jeremy in some scenes (which I don’t think is deliberate), and he was just pretty great.

Cedric

Rupert looks so young as Cedric, but he still exudes the same heroic goodness that Milligan always did. He really blew me away in the few seconds he had. It was such a touching scene.

Delphi

You think you’ve seen all there is to Annabel’s Delphi, but then she captures the boys and attains her full power, and she reaches maximum creep mode. This Delphi is Bellatrix all over: laughing hysterically at the boys’ pain, revelling in mayhem, actually licking her lips when she sees she’s causing fear, like she loves the taste of it. She’s brutal and awful and gross.

Draco

This Draco is impressive and powerful, but so broken and afraid. He does things and hates himself for them. He’s terrified of the possibility of sending himself, and more importantly his son, back to Voldemort’s world. His grief seems to ache. He’s become such a good man. And as well as the weight of the serious moments, he’s incredibly funny too.

Scorpius

Sweet, funny, full of pain just like his father, but somehow still in love the world around him. He absolutely adores his dad, and he loves his best friend. He wouldn’t hurt a fly and he’s disgusted by the idea that any version of himself could cause pain.

Harry

Harry is so open to Albus, so warm towards him, so intent to listen. When he’s told to ‘be honest to those you love, show them your pain’ he really takes it to heart. He’s heartbroken with guilt over the people who’ve died on his behalf. I loved the tone that Jamie brought to him in this act.

Albus

I’m going to be honest, I’m still not entirely sure who Albus is, but in a really exciting way. In Part Two there were flashes of a genuinely funny, awkward, ridiculous Albus. An Albus who desperately cares about the people around him. An Albus who adores his best friend and his father. An Albus who could be so many things. Losing the establishing half of Albus’s character makes it difficult to assess, but I’m so excited by the possibility of Theo’s Albus, and I’m jealous of anyone who gets to see him do a really good Part One in the next month, cause I think that’s where you’ll find the heart of him.

And now to the detail.

*

Act Three

Scene One

·         Samuel doesn’t fidget like Anthony did, not in the same way at least. He makes lots of little muttering motions with his mouth, like he’s constantly trying to work out the next thing he wants to say, or like he’s having thoughts while other people are speaking but doesn’t want to interrupt.

·         During this scene he was moving his hands around really slowly, as though he were scared to make any sudden movements, like he might alert Umbridge to the fact that he’s not the right Scorpius, and she might hurt him.

·         Elizabeth, the new Umbridge and Petunia, is really very good. Not funny like Helena, more severe and intimidating, which I prefer. She has a strong presence, and a really great emotional balance. She’s understood the characters she’s playing, and the context of the spaces they inhabit, and really does them justice.

·         Samuel’s voice is really deep, in comparison to other Scorpius’s. He has squeaky moments, but he’s not high pitched. His excitable energy isn’t high in his voice, it’s more rooted somehow.

·         So apparently this Scorpius’s athleticism (or lack of it) is going to be a running joke. It seems that neither he nor Albus have any confidence in his Quidditch ability. More on that a lot later.

·         I absolutely adored what Samuel did with the moments where Scorpius was trying to copy the ‘For Voldemort and Valour’ hand gesture. He would make the motion once, then do it over and over again. It wasn’t in a mocking way, he didn’t do it as a joke, it felt like he was really trying to figure out this bizarre world and its strange customs, and like he was trying to come to terms with the fact that he was expected to make this gesture, and believe in everything it stood for, but that he just couldn’t figure out how. It was a really beautiful choice. Really interesting. Samuel’s Voldemort timeline is already great, but it’s going to become breathtakingly good really soon.

Scene Two

·         I’ve never seen Tom Mackley so menacing before. Karl came storming on stage with this look of pure malice on his face. It was genuinely terrifying, and it took me by surprise, because I didn’t know Mackley could look so evil. But then he saw Scorpius backing away from him and started to laugh, and it was actually a relief. A Karl who laughs at the pain he’s causing is something I can handle. A serious, terrifying Karl I cannot. Kudos to Mackley for some really touching, beautiful bits of acting in this part.

·         He also put his wand between his teeth for the high-five. Apparently he needed both hands free for that one.

·         I really love Sarah as Polly (also she’s the sweetest person at stage door, but more on that later). She still had the purple streak in her hair during the Voldemort timeline, which made me really happy.

·         She’s really flirty in an adorable, awkward sort of way. She makes it very clear that she’s flirting, but Scorpius is so confused by it. It’s like he’s never experienced that sort of thing before in his life, and it’s so curious to him. He just sort of stares up at her in amazement, and she seems confused by his lack of understanding.

·         I loved the ‘the future is ours to make’ line. This whole scene was done with lots of nervous pauses (acted ones, not real ones), so it was at a slow pace, and this one was too. It felt like Polly was really serious. Serious and a bit scared. Up until that point it was all flirtation, but there was a definite element of seriousness to that line.

·         When Polly told Scorpius that the torturing was his idea, he stumbled back a step looking absolutely horrified. @mayhemtothenthdegree and I had been talking earlier in the day about how Samuel’s Scorpius would react to discovering the violence he’d been inflicting in the other world, and Samuel did not disappoint. He just couldn’t believe it, and he hated it. Clearly his Scorpius did not deal at all well with the news about who he was, and it was an illustration of how shallow his confidence actually runs. Penetrate the surface even a little, and you find this broken, scared child, who’s prepared to believe the absolute worst of himself.

Scene Three

·         This was the scene I was most excited for, and I’ve been looking forward to it for a long time. It did not disappoint even a little bit.

·         It’s so obvious that Samuel and James have an amazing level of chemistry, and James cares for Samuel so much. I couldn’t wait to see what they would be like together in character, and it was just a beautiful moment of seeing our new Draco and Scorpius look each other in the eye for the first time.

·         Scorpius didn’t go behind Draco’s desk. He has confidence, but not that much. He seemed a little overwhelmed by the room, and he stayed in the middle of it, staring around, looking up at the banners, just taking it all in.

·         Draco came storming in, brusque and busy and irritable. Maybe he’d been waiting for his son for a while, and had had to go off to do other things because he was taking so long to arrive. He really didn’t hesitate to tell Scorpius off for being late.

·         Scorpius seemed so shocked by how his dad was treating him. His ‘sorry’ was really genuine, and then when Draco corrected him again he seemed sort of shaken. After that, when Draco said about humiliating him at Hogwarts, there was genuine confusion, the ‘humiliate you, sir?’ was a real question, because Scorpius had no idea how he could have caused humiliation.

·         And then the real pain began.

·         When Draco said about Scorpius disgracing the Malfoy name, there was a moment of realisation that ran through Scorpius about how deep into this awful world his dad was. And he almost didn’t seem to be able to believe it, but it made sense with all these things he’d seen, and it scared him and angered him.

·         He delivered most of the tirade standing in the middle of the room, but he stepped forward when he started talking about his mum, and advanced during the part about his dad being a murderer and a torturer.

·         The thing about James’s Draco is that you don’t see the violence coming. It’s swift and awful and appears from nowhere, like Draco just snaps in that moment and acts on instinct without any premeditation.

·         When he dragged Scorpius to the table, Scorpius lay there in shock, hands spread and flailing, gasping, eyes wide with intense fear. He was just so afraid, and when Draco let him go he fell away and backed across the room. Meanwhile, Draco made this twitchy movement with his hand, like he was regretting what he’d just done and was wishing he could take it back, or trying to work out how he could stop it happening again.

·         There was a real and complete disgust from Scorpius, both with himself, and with the Malfoy name, and with his dad, and with everything they were. He hated everything about who they were in that world. When he said about the bad things he and his dad had done, and asked what they’d become, it wasn’t funny. It wasn’t a humorous line about Draco’s past. It was horror and misery at their position in this world, and it only got worse with the ‘murkier place’ line.

·         Draco reacted to that one by slapping his hand against the table with such frustration and violence, then marching out from behind it to face his son. He hated his son’s accusations, and wanted to understand how to help him.

·         Scorpius’s ‘I don’t want to be who I am’ and ‘I’ve seen myself in a different way’ were completely heartbreaking. He didn’t know what to say, or how to say it, but he needed his dad to understand, and he wanted both of them to go back to the normal world, where he knew who they both were.

·         The ‘did she?’ was tiny and curious and painful.

·         Scorpius didn’t take confidence from the meeting with his dad, and Draco didn’t take confidence from him, but there was an understanding they reached something changed between them in that room.

·         This has been my favourite scene for as long as I can remember, and wow did they do it justice. One of my favourite versions ever, and it’s only going to get better. We’re really lucky.

Scene Four

·         I’ve already said that the new Craig is completely adorable, and he really is. He sounds just like Jeremy, although perhaps a little less angsty and scared about everything?

·         Scorpius started off in the library deliberately searching for A History of Magic. He picked up several other books before he got to it.

·         There was such a cool reaction when Craig mentioned Snape’s name. Scorpius’s eyes went really wide with amazement, and he was briefly distracted by the news that he hates homework, but mostly his mind was on Snape.

Scene Five

·         During the transition into this scene, Anthony and James both used to sort of rush around the turntable. They’d go and peer behind the blackboard to see if it was true, then stumble back in amazement. There was none of that with Samuel. He went for just determined walking in one spot on the turntable, like he knew what he had to do, and he was ready to do it. Scorpius marching through the halls of Hogwarts, ready to save the world.

·         When he saw Snape, his eyes widened, and he had a tiny flail moment, and his ‘this is an honour’ was so excitable in the most ridiculous way.

·         All Scorpius’s short opening lines to this scene were brimming over with his new brand of ridiculous, excitable, nerdy confidence. I can’t even describe the voice he uses, but let me assure you, it is very ridiculous, and you’re all going to love it.

·         Snape is really wonderful. Drier than dry. Just perfect.

·         This was a great scene in general. Samuel takes the long speeches at a slightly slower pace than Anthony did (which means the ‘can you see? Can you see it?’ is less hilarious, but you can actually understand what he said).

·         At the end of the scene, Snape didn’t really threaten Scorpius. He drew his wand and seemed to think for a long time, and Scorpius was eyeing it, preparing to drop to the floor and duck a spell if he had to. He had his hands held out to Snape, and he did duck down, but it was quite obvious that Snape wasn’t really going to hurt him.

·         On a related note, there is no more floorpius. Which is a little sad. But Samuel just isn’t as attached to the floor as Anthony was.

The Campaign Room (Scene Six and Seven)

·         Instead of pinning Scorpius to the ground with her foot, Hermione knelt on the floor and put her knee on his chest and her wand to his throat.

·         I adored Snape’s ‘you were moderate to average’. There was a long pause after moderate, in which he seemed to consider whether he could be so bold as to call her average. It was truly hilarious.

·         Hermione released Scorpius when he mentioned Albus. It was like she had an instinctive reaction to trust anyone who might be connected to Dumbledore. There are so few of them left in her world, that she has to take friends where she can find them.

·         Ron threatened Scorpius with the wrong end of his wand for several seconds before realising it was the wrong way round. Also I noticed that Hermione didn’t lower her wand for a second. She kept it pointing right at Scorpius even after she’d got off his chest.

·         I loved how Samuel did the transition, when he’s explaining the story to Ron and Hermione. He was flailing his hands around and rolling them over, really doing all the talking with his hands. I loved how you could see that he was telling a story, instead of just dancing around for a bit.

·         Samuel called Harry Minister for Magic. That was the only line he messed up in two nights, and I wouldn’t have noticed it if he hadn’t awkwardly tried to correct himself.

·         The Romione bits were really great. I love the way Rakie and Thomas play those moments. When Hermione was going through the plan with the map on the wall, when she was done she snapped the screen back up and turned to glare at Ron, like he’d been looking at her too hard. It felt like a continuation of the ‘close your mouth when you’re looking at me’ line, and he sort of swallowed and looked away.

·         In the ‘how very irritating’ line, there was a pause before irritating, while Snape considered how he felt about the whole matter.

·         When Snape addressed Hermione as Minister, she grinned and gave him this little salute.

Scene Nine

·         This was another beautiful Romione moment. There were so many of those with Rakie and Thomas. I absolutely love their chemistry, and I think they’re both really incredible individually too.

·         Rakie was clearly nervous about hooking onto the Dementor, cause she kept fiddling with the straps on her costume, like she wanted to reassure herself that they were still there, and like she wanted to find them before the lights went down. She was holding onto them during the kiss. But the Dementor hooking was actually very smooth! She was quicker than Thomas which was nice. They did really well with that.

·         This was another scene between Scorpius and Snape that I really enjoyed. Snape’s calm presence, and Scorpius’s immense fear combining.

·         When Scorpius talked about the Dementors having sucked out Hermione and Ron’s souls, he made this gesture, like a soul leaving his lips. And he was panicking so much about it that that’s what attracted the Dementors.

·         This was the moment where Scorpius really cracked, and you saw through to the terror and pain underneath. The Dementors were inescapable, and he was consumed by the memory of his mother. I’m actually really glad this scene exists, because it was the perfect moment to expose the broken core of Samuel’s Scorpius. It was exactly what his version of Scorpius needed to make it feel complete. And I loved the heartbreak of how he played this moment. Really well done.

·         When Umbridge came, Scorpius hid himself behind a tree (he really loves to play hide and seek apparently. It happened again later on), and he only came out when he realised she knew he was there. When he did come out, he looked absolutely petrified of what she was going to do.

·         Snape’s Depulso was well timed and just worked really well. I don’t know why I loved it so much, but I did. Really great.

·         The doe seemed to take a second to light up, but she got going in the end, and Mark was really careful with her. I really do adore everything Mark does as the Sorting Hat and Hagrid. Just brilliant, interesting, fresh choices. This scene was touching and beautiful.

·         When Scorpius got into the lake, Snape leaned over to check that he was okay, and that he’d definitely gone down there, before he went over to the Dementors and offered himself up. When they took him he let out the most awful, gut wrenching scream. David’s Snape is just amazing.

·         Scorpius came out of the lake and splashed everyone again. Just don’t sit in the middle of Row AA. It’s not safe. Anthony was restrained with what he did in the lake (if you can believe that). Samuel is not.

·         I was a little bit nervous for Theo to show up in Part Two, but you could tell even in these early stages that he was more relaxed, and I started to really enjoy his Albus for the first time.

·         Scorpius kept doing all these stupid little dances. Samuel does not sing, but he does dance, which is possibly even more ridiculous. He already has a Professor McGonagall dance.

·         The most beautiful moment in this scene was when Scorpius saw his dad. It was just pure relief. He sounded like he wanted to cry with happiness when he said ‘my dad’. And he reached out his arms like he was reaching for a hug, before thinking better of it and pulling them back. And Draco just looked at him for a moment before handing him the robe and saying hello back. Also, Draco didn’t physically touch Scorpius here, he just gestured imperiously offstage, which is a beautiful and important contrast to the manhandling in the office scene.

Scene Ten

·         The kids during the gossip scene and during the scene in McGonagall’s office were just spectacular, minus the moment when Henry (Yann) slipped on the water Samuel had been splashing everywhere. They had so many more genuine reactions to what was being said, always glancing at each other and murmuring. There was also a simply beautiful moment, after McGonagall said Rose had been disappeared, Karl reached down and put his hand on Rose’s shoulder, and she looked up at him, heartbroken. Mackley can do truly touching, as well as hilarious funny.

·         James’s ‘That seems fair’ got a massive laugh. He really is nailing the humorous moments.

·         When Scorpius said that the world with Voldemort was a horrific world, Draco just sort of bowed his head and looked so ashamed. I think he felt personally responsible for Scorpius’s pain, and he absolutely hated everything that he’d become in that other world.

·         The hug between Rose and Hermione at the end of this scene almost made me cry. I could see Hermione’s lip trembling when she was looking at her daughter, just on the verge of tears. And I love how every Rose and Hermione just seem to fit so beautifully together when they hug. They always look so perfect, in the most painful way.

Scene Eleven

·         This was hands down my favourite scene of the night, which is not something I would have ever in a million years said with Jamie and Sam. I’ve always wanted more from this scene, and I didn’t know what I wanted, but now I do. It was what Theo and Jamie gave us.

·         There’s a promo picture somewhere of Jamie and Sam sitting on Albus’s suitcase and both looking miserable. But Jamie and Sam never actually did that on stage. They were always standing for this scene. No such thing with Theo and Jamie, and that was part of what made it so truly touching.

·         There was a real hesitant beginning of communication in this scene. Both Albus and Harry were listening to each other so deeply, and struggling to begin to understand each other. There wasn’t the bouncing off each other, just strained and difficult attempts to really talk.

·         Albus sat down on the suitcase around when Harry said he could have destroyed everything, and he sat there staring off into the distance and looking heartbroken. Then a few lines later Harry sat beside him, so they were shoulder to shoulder, looking in opposite directions.

·         It was the ‘You really scared her… and me’ that began the beautiful moments. Albus sort of froze and glanced around at his dad, and asked ‘Really scared you?’ like it was a concept that he simply couldn’t understand. He just didn’t get how Harry could possibly be scared, because ‘I thought Harry Potter wasn’t afraid of anything?’ And it wasn’t accusatory. It wasn’t angry. It was a genuine attempt to understand. A real question. And Jamie responded in kind with another genuine question, turning to his son in complete bewilderment and shock. ‘Is that how I make you feel?’

·         The part about Albus realising that being in Slytherin wasn’t the reason for their problems was the moment where I knew that Theo was going to be good. He was already doing well in this scene, and it felt so much more relaxed, and natural, and Albus began to come out. And as he said it, Albus was looking at Harry, because he really didn’t know what their problems were, and he was really upset about that.

·         When Harry asked if Albus was okay it was because he really wanted to know, because he really wasn’t sure, and of course the answer was no, and of course the answer was no for Harry too. And they looked at each other for a moment, before Albus decided he couldn’t handle it anymore and he walked away.

·         That scene was breath-taking. That scene showed how Theo and Jamie are playing this relationship, and I am absolutely in love with it. I was completely blown away by this scene. They did such a beautiful job. And if they continue to play that scene like that then I am going to be very very happy (and very very poor) for at least the next year.

The Third Dream (Scene Twelve and Thirteen)

·         Elizabeth is a great Petunia. This was the moment where she pitched the emotion at the exact right level. Because this is a dream Petunia, so you can have some leeway with how she is. She’s not real. She’s meant to not be real. This entire scene isn’t real. But also, I don’t think Petunia should be breaking down in tears by Lily and James’s grave. That’s never felt right to me. So this was perfect. Anguish, pain, but not tears. Really brilliant job.

·         It was super cool to hear David’s Voldemort voice for the first time. I enjoyed the little flash you get in this scene.

·         Great screaming from Theo. He can really nail the drama.

·         I really love what Jamie does with Harry’s pain after the dreams. He’s not screaming, he’s not in audible agony, but he just looks so ill. It really reminds me of the descriptions of Harry’s pain from his scar in the books. There are times when he wants to throw up from the pain, and when he woke up from this dream, Jamie looked like he was on the verge of throwing up. It was pretty great.

The Dorm Scene (Scene Fourteen)

·         These boys are going to destroy us all. They might have already destroyed me a little bit. This scene was amazing.

·         When they were being wheeled on, Scorpius was already tapping his fingers together, full of energy, ready to go, mind racing a million to the dozen. He was probably planning what to say to Albus, and rehearsing the time-turning line over and over in his head. Seeing him awake before the scene even started was just really funny. What a great choice.

·         He lay down for the first whispered Albus, sat up a bit for the psst, crept over and whispered in Albus’s ear (all in really silly voices too), and then he screamed in Albus’s ear. Which would have been funny enough, but Albus sat bolt upright and just started attacking him with his pillow. It was unexpected and hilarious and brilliant. I was so delighted by it. I feel like this is how they wake up literally every day. Albus was just really ready for him.

·         When he was talking about Mouldy Voldy, Scorpius wrapped the duvet round himself like a cloak and did this creepy little finger wiggle and sinister voice. And Albus just sounded exhausted by his good mood.

·         The line about Polly Chapman from Albus was really funny. Loved the way he said that. Like Scorpius should be happier that that had happened, but of course Scorpius completely ignored it and set off on his little angsty speech about the Scorpion King (and wow did he emphasise the upset and amazement about people being frightened of him).

·         The bit about Albus fighting alongside Scorpius was truly touching. A lovely moment of connection between the two boys.

Scene Fifteen

·         James Phoon was another of the people saying lines that are in the script but that the original cast never bothered with. After McGonagall told Craig to stop being tiresome, he sort of spluttered at her, and the words he said are in the script, but I never heard Jeremy say them. It was a really cool little thing. Also, Craig redid the belt on his dressing gown as he ran off, like he was preparing for battle.

·         I loved the heat between Harry and Ginny in this scene, it was one of Emma’s bolder moments, and it worked really well.

The Owlery Scene (Scene Sixteen)

·         The Hogwarts echo is gone, which is a shame, but the boys are so sweet and nerdy in this scene that it doesn’t really matter. Also, I feel like I should mention, while I remember, Scorpius’s jumper is really huge on Samuel. It falls so far down his legs. It makes him look even tinier!

·         Delphi came and sat right in the middle between the two boys, and Scorpius didn’t appear at all happy about the arrangement. He seemed to feel betrayed that Albus had sent her the owl.

·         She had such a reaction to hearing that Voldemort ruled. Because she’s trying to disguise her feelings, it was difficult to tell if it was meant to be anguish, or if it was just pure, breathless, almost tearful excitement. Perhaps it was a combination of both.

·         Theo’s Albus is just too much of a little nerd to want to get a tattoo. That line was just hilarious. But also, this boy clearly doesn’t understand subtlety or how to behave around people, so of course he’d say he wanted one to try and impress Delphi. This Albus is just so dorky. I can’t entirely handle it. And it’s almost like he’s unaware of how awkward and nerdy he is.

·         When Delphi talked about the Augurey being kept in a cage, she gestured up to the owls around them. Which was actually really cool, because this is the moment when Delphi, the Augurey, escapes her cage and is let loose.

·         Before I forget, at one point, Delphi gave Scorpius a little, friendly tap under the chin. I mean, it wasn’t really friendly, but this was before she exploded into full Augurey mode.

·         The moment when she trapped the boys, she just ignited with happiness. She threw her head back and started laughing. Every inch her mother. John Tiffany said during the interval that Annabel was on fire, and she really was. Absolutely incredible. Creepy and powerful and actually shocking, because she was so different as the Augurey than she was as Delphi Diggory.

·         She was radiating happiness and delight as she snapped their wands, just full of joy to finally be able to be herself.

Scene Seventeen

·         All you really need to know about this scene is that Ron and Hermione kissed twice, and Thomas knelt down the reproposal. Also he was sitting in Hermione’s seat at the beginning of the scene, and I just love the idea of Ron sitting around in her office, taking up her chair, just generally getting in the way, but she’s learned to work around him and actually enjoys having him there. It was really sweet.

·         Ron and Hermione were still kissing when the others walked in, and Draco gave them (mostly Ron) a look a pure disgust.

·         The idea of Theo’s Albus having an older girlfriend was just really entertaining.

·         Thomas also stole the Scrupulus line from Paul, but it didn’t get a laugh even though Draco reacted to it. I think he needs time to figure out how to deliver it with Paul’s panache.

·         This was the only scene where I believed that Emma and Thomas might actually be brother and sister, and I was really happy with their interaction.

The Maze Sequence (Scene Nineteen and Twenty)

·         With this cast you can tell the scenes they’ve done a lot on and the scenes they haven’t. They’ve focused on technical pieces, and on the big emotional scenes that really provide the structure of the show. Scene Nineteen is not one of the scenes they’ve done a lot on.

·         It felt emotionally bare. I don’t think the boys (either of them, but especially Theo, who’s the one who really needs to deliver emotionally here) have the confidence to improvise yet, and it’s the improvisation, the in the moment reactions to Delphi’s actions, that really make this a hard hitting scene.

·         You didn’t feel Albus’s pain nearly enough when Scorpius was being tortured, or when Craig was killed. I didn’t feel the heartbreak from either boy after Cedric’s murder. But like I say, this clearly wasn’t a scene they’ve focused on, and given time I’m sure it’ll be great.

·         Annabel, however, killed it. Powerful and creepy. Playing with the boys, especially Albus. She kissed him on the cheek when she pulled him in at ‘Albus is the unseen child who will kill his father’, and it was the most disgusting thing. It was almost too creepy.

·         The maze scene itself, however, was a scene they have worked on! Thankfully, because the moment with Cedric is one of my favourite in the show, and that was completely beautiful.

·         I’m kind of sad that Mackley isn’t playing Krum, and I did really miss Jack North during Krum’s movement around the maze. But I assume Mackley is needed as a hedge mover. They seem to be utilising the originals to their fullest extent where set movement is concerned. There was a really sweet moment when the team were bringing a staircase on at one point, and Nuno was with them. The got the staircase in place, and he looked around at them and nodded and led them all off, like an adult duck with a flock of baby ducklings. I love the confidence that Nuno inspires when he’s onstage.

·         Anyway, back to this scene. When Albus started talking to Cedric, Scorpius was desperately shaking his head, but Albus just ignored him and kept going. Cedric’s reactions were surprised and confused, but he seemed to take Albus’s words to heart. This Cedric looks an awful lot younger than Milligan did, but I actually like that. Cedric was only seventeen after all. I don’t think it’s bad to have someone young looking.

·         Another thing about that Cedric scene – it was perfectly in time with the music. Theo nailed the pacing. In fact the whole cast really improved on the pacing in this performance. It felt the same speed as the old cast would have done it, apart from a couple of tiny moments. I presume pacing was part of the John Tiffany ass kicking.

·         I absolutely adored the boys’ heartbreak and fear when they were taken back in time and realised they were lost. Theo was brilliant in that moment.

Scene Twenty-One

·         Jamie pronounces the Parseltongue a tiny bit differently to Jamie P, which I actually really liked. They were definitely saying the same words, but the last word varied in pronunciation. I’m not sure which is right, as the Parseltongue isn’t written in the script, but it’s interesting that something like that could be the same bit different.

·         Harry sounded so anguished when he said ‘because I’m a parent who hasn’t seen his child’. He was trying so hard, and loves Albus so much, and he’s desperately upset to have failed so badly.

The chat with John Tiffany we had during the interval was really insightful. I love talking to the creative team. You can learn so much from them, and it’s fascinating to hear what they’re thinking. He really seemed to be loving Annabel, and he was talking about how nervous the cast were, knowing they had such huge shoes to fill. We told him we were impressed with how good the technical stuff was, and that was when he told us it was because he’d kicked their asses. I mentioned how good I thought Samuel was, and it seems like he’s already bored of hearing about how good Samuel is. This is clearly old news to him, and he changed the subject to say that the whole cast were doing great. Which they really were.

I was flooded with delight and excitement after that act, so much so that I skipped down the corridor to the loos. It was thrilling, after my nervousness before the show, and I was especially delighted by Theo. It was a really great act. They’re all going to be incredible at Act Three really soon. I think it’ll be a favourite for everyone over the next year.

*

Act Four

Scene One

·         I think I might still have been freaking out about how good Act Three was, because I didn't pay nearly enough attention to this scene.

·         I don't feel like I've talked nearly enough about Rakie's Hermione, and this seems the perfect opportunity. I absolutely loved her portrayal. She was authoritative, bright and fierce, powerful, sweet, and loving. Her chemistry with Thomas was amazing, and she was simply adorable with Helen. The whole Granger-Weasley family have this air of fun and energy to them. They feel like such a lovely, connected family.

·         I think April is one of the standout new ensemble members. She was amazing in the movement sections, and her speaking roles were spot on. She had so much to live up to, stepping into Annabel's track, but she was sharp, and owned every moment. I particularly noticed her in this scene, because she was one of the people who glanced round at Draco when Voldemort's child was first mentioned.

·         We felt Harry's authority in this scene too. He rarely raised his voice in the previous acts, but this was Jamie's shouty act. He saved it up for an explosion at the end, and this scene was just the start.

·         I really enjoyed Emma in this scene. When Ginny joined Harry on the stairs you felt her fierceness and connection with him. This was probably her best act overall. Lots of lovely little moments.

·         James Howard was phenomenal in this scene as he was in so many others. Polished and precise, with all of Draco's authority and impressiveness. But there was so much underneath it too. James's Draco has so many layers of complexity, so much detail. He brings so much understanding of the character to the role, which really makes him one of the stand outs. Both among the crowd and when he was on the stairs, he shone, and was feeling Draco's struggles and fears.

·         The moment when Ron pushes past Draco onto the stairs was really funny, and both Thomas and James played it really well. James looked irritated and exasperated, and Thomas was all innocent, but at the end of his line he shared a really nice look with Rakie. The family aspect of this scene, all the adults standing up there together as a group, was really nice.

·         Apparently I will now never escape having my heart broken by the line 'then – just like that – most of the people in this room will be gone'. Thanks to Noma for that one. It ached so much on this day when so many of the cast were new, especially knowing that some of the people on that stage had been through the experience of Sunday.

Scene Two

·         I don't think Martin really did a Scottish accent in this scene, but it still worked somehow.

·         In this act I really started to notice Samuel's mannerisms, and all the things he was doing with his hands. They were mostly expressive things, rather than Scorpius's nervous fiddling, but I get the impression that now I've started paying attention to them I'm never going to stop.

·         He touches his face a lot, so many exasperated little pinches of his forehead, touching of his chin when he's thinking. He does a lot of staccato movements with his hands when he's explaining things. His hands really are all over the place. He uses them to illustrate what he’s saying the entire time, and it was particularly noticeable when he was frustrated, like in bits of Godric’s Hollow.

·         When Albus couldn’t understand the station master, he just gave up. He stepped back and gestured to Scorpius like, you take this one, I’m out. It was one of their old married couple moments, and really cute. I love the interaction in their friendship. For such a short rehearsal time, they’ve managed to get an awful lot of detail into that.

·         Thanks to Samuel, I now realise that the script doesn’t entirely make sense in this scene. He played every line so perfectly that there was a moment where I was like ‘wait what?’ So Scorpius realises why Delphi is in this time, because he knows she’s there to attack Harry. But then he doesn’t realise what prophecy Albus is referring to, but shouldn’t it be obvious?

·         Theo’s only slip up on words was in this scene, and it wasn’t even that he forgot the line. It was just that his tongue got twisted around the wording of the prophecy, because he was speaking so fast. For someone who was so terrified (especially on Wednesday) he nailed the script. In fact almost everyone did, apart from that one line in Part One from James Howard, and one slip up from Samuel at the beginning of Part Two. They did a lot better than the original cast were doing during the previews!

Scene Three

·         On Sunday I told Chris Jarman that the way he plays out the pumpkin transition in Godric’s Hollow was one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. That scene has always been my favourite, and I adored how Chris used the choreography, and the feel he gave it. It was another perfect example of his lyrical, flowing movement. So Mark had absolutely huge shoes to fill, and he absolutely did it justice, to the point where I almost cried again.

·         He walked out very briskly, but then he stopped and checked his watch. It was like the Sorting Hat had been travelling in time too, and that wanted to make sure he was in exactly the right place, and that this was the right time for him to summon the pumpkins and the snow. Which it was, so he began sprinkling the snow with a perfectly straight arm, no soft hand movements, just straight and solid, and with this air that he was enjoying himself immensely, loving every second. And when he spread his arms and the pumpkins appeared, it was just pure euphoria. He was basking in their light, and the happiness of the people of Godric’s Hollow. It was absolutely beautiful.

·         April had a lot to live up to as Lily, as did Rupert as James Sr, but they both completely delivered, including in this opening transition. The joy with which they played in the snow was just wonderful to behold. Exactly as it should be.

·         The boys in this scene were simply delightful. It’s quite clear that the Godric’s Hollow section has been very well rehearsed, and I thought the results were great.

·         I loved the moment about the statue of Harry and his parents, and Albus’s surprise about it. He looked right at Scorpius, who started pointing out that he didn’t yet but he hopefully would soon.

·         It was the part where the boys hide from Bathilda that really showed the first signs of Theo’s comedic streak. When she came out of the door he dived away from her and went over to the wall where Sam always loved to hide. But inside of flattening himself and hiding behind the lip that sticks out from the wall of the stage, he turned his back on her and leaned his shoulder against the wall, attempting to look casual and as though he’d been there all day. It was ridiculous and brilliant and I loved it.

·         Samuel did not do a proper squeak, and I was very disappointed for all of two seconds, because for his ‘my geekness is a-quivering’ he decided to do the dorkiest little disco dance wiggle sort of thing. I cannot describe it accurately for you. It has to be seen to be believed. But it involved him putting his hands up in the air and wiggling his body around.

·         James ended up playing with baby Harry while Lily shut the door. He did the peekaboo blanket thing with him, and the kiss between Lily and James after that was very sweet.

·         Scorpius grabbed the back of Albus’s jacket to stop him running after them.

·         One thing I do particularly like about this cast is the way they end their scenes. Some of these Godric’s Hollow scenes, where Albus and Scorpius just run off, have always felt a bit weird to me, but I liked how they were handled by this cast. They felt smooth and well-paced.

Scene Four

·         This was the scene I knew about be weirdest of all. Jamie P’s version of this scene is so iconic, that I was really worried about how it would turn out without him. But I actually ended up quite liking it. It’s certainly very  different, but I’m actually grateful that Jamie is taking this role and making it the way he wants it to be. It would be so easy to copy Jamie P, for any of the actors to copy their predecessors, but none of them are doing that, which is brave and brilliant.

·         It was a lot softer, and the breakdown came so much later. There was none of the shouting. Anger and pain, yes, but not shouting.

·         I love how Jamie listens. He really listens to other people on stage, in a way that’s really palpable, and it gives all the conversations he’s part of so much meaning. I felt like he was listening to Dumbledore, and in him doing so, I listened more too, and I found myself watching Dumbledore more as well.

·         It’s the words ‘be honest with those you love, show them your pain’ that felt as though they resonated most of all with Harry. I felt as though they harkened back to his conversation with Albus, and the way he didn’t realise Albus didn’t see his pain and fear. It seemed like he was really thinking about that, and that that was what slowly began to break him down, because it was from that moment that he began to spiral downwards in terms of emotion.

·         The line ‘I loved you too, Dumbledore��� was desperate and childlike, and garbled. You almost couldn’t understand it because it came out as such a desperate rush to catch Dumbledore before he walked away.

·         Only after Dumbledore left did Harry finally allow himself to fall apart, and he’d really only just begun sobbing when Draco showed up. He quickly cleaned himself up once he realised Draco was there, but of course Draco had seen enough.

·         Somehow, James Howard managed to get the biggest laugh ever for the ‘no five minute problem’ line. He just delivered it, and the audience ate it up. I really do love how well he balances the humour with the seriousness of Draco. Because his Draco really is so serious, but he still gets those laughs, and it’s a testament to how skilled he is that he can do both so easily.

·         James Howard’s Draco continues to break my heart by playing with his wedding ring while he’s talking about Astoria. It’s always been a signature move of his, and I’m sure it will continue to be so for a very long time to come.

·         I also still hate how James delivers the line ‘Our child, Scorpius was born’. I have always hated it and always will. I’ve seen him do it differently in the past, but he seems to have reverted to his old ways which is a shame. It’s the one thing I dislike about his Draco.

·         Something I do love about James is how he pushes to an emotional brink, but holds himself back from it. Draco is determined not to crack, not to break down, especially not in front of Harry. He was almost about to cry at ‘She wanted me to have somebody when she left’, but when he began talking about himself he pulled back, like talking about his life, and his guilt, somehow steadied him. It’s not about her, or about his feelings, it’s about Scorpius, and the damage he’s caused Scorpius, and how he will rectify it and save his son at all costs.

·         Jamie did the most wonderful thing at the end of this scene, and I’ve only just realised that it’s even more wonderful than I thought. Right on the stage direction ‘they look at each other as friends’, he reached out and took hold of Draco’s wrist. And I thought at first that he was just stopping Draco using the Time-Turner and doing something reckless, but now I wonder if that’s Harry’s version of taking the hand that was offered to him back when he was eleven years old. Whatever it was, my Drarry shipper heart got just a tiny bit excited at that moment. It was fascinating to see a physical connection between the two of them, and at such a profound moment too.

Scene Five

·         Theo started this scene sitting in the classic tiny scrunched up Albus position down on one of the doorsteps. I could see the snow collecting in his hair and it made me very happy indeed. But then he got up and started wandering round the stage with Samuel while they both thought very hard.

·         I loved how excited they both get whenever either of them had an idea. They would both be so on board with it, at least initially.

·         I hope Samuel develops his ‘HELP. HELP. HELP’ line. I’m sure he will. It’s a very iconic Scorpius line, and I’m excited to see what ridiculousness he comes up with there when he’s had some time to think about it. I did love how done Albus was with Scorpius’s ridiculousness. He didn’t even try to mock him, just gave him a withering look and repeated ‘help’ when it came his turn to say it.

·         When Albus said his line about it being pleasurable to hide in a hole with Scorpius, he actually put his arm round him. I’m not sure anyone has explained the meaning of the word ‘subtlety’ or ‘appropriacy’ to Theo’s Albus. But I’m kind of glad they haven’t.

·         The great thing about having the two boys both standing up and facing each other, was that when Scorpius said he line about choosing a companion for the return of eternal darkness, he was looking right at Albus, and they were inches apart. I loved how Albus responded to that line. Just casual and easy, and his line really made sense too, because Samuel is very tiny.

·         Here we had another classic Scorpius hide and seek moment. I said I’d come back to that. When Lily came out of the house, Scorpius dragged Albus over to the row of houses to hide, then decided they weren’t hidden enough, so he dragged him further down the row, creeping away and away until Scorpius deemed that they were safe.

·         When Albus saw Lily putting the blanket on Harry he broke free of Scorpius and walked out into the middle of the street like he was in a trance, and there was so much wonder in his voice when he talked about the blanket. It was like he almost didn’t realise he was in the middle of the street until Lily walked up to him, and he did this really shy grin (Theo’s smiles are shy and cute and bright) and waved at her. She looked perplexed for a moment, then waved back and walked on past him.

·         Samuel’s ‘I wish I could tell my dad’ line got a little laugh from the audience, because of how he delivered the ‘well, I’m not sure what’.

·         I very much enjoyed how Theo did the whole explanation to Scorpius. Really great. I particularly liked (not sure why this line stood out but it really did) ‘so if we were to get that blanket and write on it in Tincture of Demiguise…’

·         It didn’t feel so much like Albus had a fully formed plan, and was giving Scorpius the satisfaction of figuring it out for himself. The questions and suggestions felt genuine, like he was slowly figuring things out, and that Scorpius was just a step behind.

·         Both boys’ delight in the Eureka moment was beautiful to behold. Some leaping up and down and excitable cheering was involved. Then they both went to Bathilda’s door together, and when it opened they sprinted through it at the same time. It was lovely how they stayed right together at that moment. They were really together for the whole scene. Such a beautiful feeling between the two of them.

Scene Six

·         This is where Harry’s real breakdown came. He was sobbing inconsolably when talking about the people who had died for him. Maybe again this was a result of his earlier thoughts about showing Albus his pain. This right here is Harry’s pain, and Albus never saw any of it. (The more I think about it, that lovely conversation in the dorm scene really set up everything of Albus and Harry’s relationship through the rest of the play. I truly hope they keep playing that scene like that.)

·         This was one of Emma’s best scenes. She was really great in all of Act Four, but this was a good one. The way she reacted to how upset Harry was was really beautiful, trying to reassure him.

·         I read someone else’s recap about how in the earlier scene after Albus and Scorpius go missing for the third time, about how Emma’s Ginny jumped on Harry in that scene, and got really accusatory with him, and I think that just perfectly set up her apology in this scene. This cast may not have a massive amount of character detail yet, but they have great technique, and are amazing at introducing new significance and connections between scenes. All those already exist in the script, but they really play them out in an excellent way that signposts and does great justice to Jack Thorne’s writing.

·         There were two nice Hinny kisses in this scene (I swear Jamie and Poppy were only doing one by the end, but I could be wrong. I was certainly excited that there were two, because it felt different.)

·         I loved Emma’s ‘and it is us’ line. Full of Ginny’s fierce determination, giving Harry a serious look that said ‘don’t you dare go without me’.

Outside St Jerome’s (Scene Seven and Eight)

·         Absolutely loved James’s farmers’ market line, and I made a point of looking at Thomas, and saw the disgruntled little glare he shot Draco for his attempts to be funny.

·         I’m a bit upset with how close attention this cast actually pay to the script, because Thomas definitely says ‘unwelcome’ not ‘unwanted’ in the ponytail line, and I was very much attached to the unwanted ponytail.

·         Hermione was really amused with Ron saying Draco had really nice hair. She gave this little smile before going back to getting everyone in place for going back in time.

·         Emma and Jamie took a while to get to their time-turning positions, because they were having some sort of silent interaction between Harry and Ginny. It was actually pretty sweet.

·         At first it seemed like the boys didn’t notice the parents arriving, but the second they did, Albus absolutely yelled at his mum, and she went sprinting across to give him the hugest hug. She actually gave him multiple hugs, and a kiss on the cheek.

·         I was so looking forward to this Malfoy hug and it was very sweet. It got a huge aww from the audience. It wasn’t super drawn out, and there wasn’t a lot of interaction afterwards, but the hug itself was wonderful. Scorpius didn’t do all the shrieking we’ve heard before, he just stalled in front of his dad and looked uncertain, until Draco told him they could hug too, at which point he flung himself forward.

·         Samuel’s ‘how did you – how did you without the Time-Turner’ was just adorable. So much curiosity and interest.

Inside St Jerome’s (Scenes Nine, Ten, and Eleven)

·         Theo fits perfectly on the bench in Godric’s Hollow. I know Albus doesn’t exactly do much in this scene, but I always absolutely love watching him lie there and sleep. He looks so peaceful.

·         I quite liked this scene between Jamie and Emma. There was a sweetness to it. I don’t have many details about it, but I remember it being just nice, and lovely.

·         I love seeing what the actors do in the slow mo transitions between scenes, and the real standout here was that Scorpius waved at Albus as he came through the door with his dad. It was like they hadn’t seen each other for hours, and Scorpius had missed him. These two have their co-dependent moments.

·         Albus delivered virtually all his lines in this scene to Scorpius, like he was constantly checking that what he was saying wasn’t completely idiotic, and that it all made sense. This also meant that when he was asking about the history books, he really was asking Scorpius, even though he didn’t use Scorpius’s name.

·         Rakie and Samuel did not nail saying ‘you’re not wrong’ together. Rakie went for it, Samuel kind of hesitated and squeaked out his version so it was almost too quiet to hear. They’ll get there.

·         I loved Rakie in this scene, especially when they were talking about the Transfiguration. She looked round at everyone, kind of assessing them, before she said there were ‘some excellent witches and wizards’ right there.

·         In this scene we really saw scared Draco. When Draco is picking apart the plan, it felt like it was because he was so scared of what would happen if something went wrong. If their efforts failed, they’d all be plunged back into the world with Voldemort, and having heard about it from Scorpius, he was terrified to go back there. Not just for himself, but for Scorpius. He didn’t want Scorpius to have to suffer that.

·         Jamie did the Transfiguration very well indeed. Some lovely pained screaming. I’m looking forward to hearing more of that as the year unfolds. I was also really happy that David made it out safely without falling over Harry’s cloak or anything.

·         The Malfoys were being cute at the back of the stage while they were watching out of the door. Draco put his hand on Scorpius’s shoulder. I really do enjoy watching them in the background of this scene, and sometimes I struggle to pay any attention to Albus and Ginny at all, but I managed it this time!

·         Ginny was sitting all alone on the bench, looking lost, and forlorn, and worried. Albus was kind of standing in the middle of the room like he didn’t know what to do with himself now his dad had disappeared, but when he saw his mum he took the time to go over and comfort her. It was one of his strongest, bravest moments of the night.

·         The hug between Ginny and Albus, when she holds him in her arms, was absolutely beautiful.

·         Scorpius was definitely embarrassed by his dad in the ‘I’m being bossed around’ line, and Thomas has taken a leaf out of Paul’s book, and stuck around to glare after Draco when he disappeared through the door.

The Duel (Scene Eleven)

·         I’m just splitting up scene eleven because it’s so long, and I hope this will help with clarity!

·         Both Annabel and David were excellent in this scene. I wish I had more specific notes about it. But David’s Voldemort voice is great, and Annabel is desperate as Delphi, trying to convince her father to love her.

·         The really cool thing about this scene was listening to the recordings of the Augurey voice effect. Both Annabel and Jamie have really deep voices, so the effect for them was boomy and ominous, rather than musical like Jamie P and Esther’s recordings were.

·         The end of the bit with Annabel and David was pretty excellent. I loved how Annabel played Delphi’s slow realisation that it was Harry in there. She went from looking anxious, to this sort of slow, lazy smile that grew and grew as she realised what was going on and decided to play with her food a bit before eating it.

·         As a note, Annabel doesn’t have all the detailing and markings on her face that Esther always did. I’m not sure why! I never really knew why Esther had them to be honest, but it’s an interesting difference in the make-up. I love how the wigs and make-up people seem to be going for some subtle new stuff (like Polly’s purple hair).

·         The ‘Incendio!’ at the beginning of the duel was absolutely bang on in time, and I was so impressed. They were both completely committed and in synch, and it was exceptional.

·         Harry went over and really explicitly tried to pull one of the doors open, instead of doing it subtly like Jamie P used to.

·         I felt like Jamie’s scream of terror as the bench was dropped on him was completely genuine. Having got through a year of seeing Jamie P do that and survive, and I now have a whole other Jamie to worry about. That bench terrifies me. I would not fancy being under there.

·         Thanks to Jamie for grabbing hold of Albus and crouching in front of him for the duel. I always appreciate seeing Harry protect Albus in this scene.

·         There were so many little touching things at the end of this scene between Albus and Harry and Ginny, like Albus trying to reassure Harry that he was okay, and Ginny rushing to check on him.

·         There was also a touching moment between the Malfoys too. So Draco always goes and collects Delphi’s wand. She throws it when she’s disarmed, and he goes and gets it. And at one point I noticed the Malfoys kind of reach out to each other, and I thought Draco might be handing something to Scorpius, although I couldn’t see what because Theo was in the way. But Scorpius was looking down at this thing in his hand with so much disgust that I realised it must be Delphi’s wand. I asked someone sitting at a different angle later, and they said that yes, they had seen Scorpius holding a wand, and that he’d pocketed it, so there we go! Draco gave Scorpius Delphi’s wand. It’s really sweet to see how Draco trusts his son and treats him as an adult. That’s not the kind of object you’d give to someone you didn’t respect and trust to look after it.

·         Delphi was completely heartbroken and desperate at the end of this scene, wanting to see her father. Her begging to ‘take my mind, take my memory’ was awful. It was like she couldn’t handle the idea of living with the knowledge of his death, and her reaction to being told she was going to Azkaban was complete terror.

·         After Harry collapsed because Voldemort was coming, I loved Albus’s terrified little ‘what?’ at the sight of his dad writhing on the ground, and I even more loved Thomas’s ‘Voldemort’. Ron was looking right at Harry, and it was the way he assessed his friend’s symptoms, and the way he was clutching his scar, and just knew. You really felt in that moment that here was Harry’s best friend, someone who’s seen this countless times before and understands what’s going on and accepts it, ready to face whatever it might mean.

The Death Scene and Aftermath (Scenes Twelve and Thirteen)

·         I loved Theo’s line in this, Albus addressing his dad. I loved how Albus was in this scene. Theo had really got going by this point. He was just great.

·         It was the Malfoys (of course) who I spent all my time watching in this scene. Scorpius was tearing up, staring in horror and shock. Draco’s expression was one of pain and disgust, although he kept glancing at his son, wanting to check that he was okay. Scorpius held out until Voldemort blasted into Harry’s room, and only then did bury his face in his dad’s chest, while Draco stroked his hair and held him, eyes closed, head bowed.

·         I really loved this version of Hagrid’s speech. There was more of Mark’s classic staccato activity. The lines at the beginning were so disjointed, like he really couldn’t cope with what he was seeing, and didn’t know what to say about it. (He was milking this scene for all it was worth, and he takes so much time over everything.)

·         The most interesting thing about what he did was that, instead of addressing the speech to the burning bed, he addressed it to the floor beside the bed, like he was speaking directly to Lily’s body. She must have been lying there, and obviously the audience couldn’t see her, but Hagrid definitely could.

·         The way he spoke to Harry was so tender and lovely. Also, I realised that the blanket has a sort of hood on top, so when he puts his hand inside it to make it look like the baby, it’s already folded in place.

Scene Fourteen

·         Scorpius was breathless with amazement at the stupid thing he’d just done. (This was one of Samuel’s most adorable scenes.)

·         This was another scene where the actors said the lines from the script, not some random alternative version they’d come up with. Anthony used to say: “I’d agree with you, only Pretty Polly did ask me out.” Whereas Samuel says: “I’d agree with you, only Polly Chapman did ask me to the school ball.” Samuel’s version definitely sounds a bit nerdier, and a bit more like a high school prom sort of deal, as opposed to a more mature sort of asking out.

·         Samuel said ‘a rose is a rose’ in the most adorable accent. I can’t describe it, but it’s an entirely different accent to the posh one Anthony used for that line, yet still thoroughly ridiculous. Us regulars nearly died at that line, simply because it was so cute.

·         I think ‘palace of love’ got the Samuel disco dance treatment. Someone might have to check that for me.

·         Helen’s Rose is just the cutest thing in this scene. She’s as cute as a button. When she leans against the bottom of the staircase and overhears them, she looks so delighted, grinning so broadly, and then she bursts out with such confidence.

·         When Rose appeared, Scorpius started patting Albus on the shoulder for some reason. I honestly have no idea why he thought it was a good idea, it just made him look ridiculous, but it was certainly weird, as in ‘this is only going to be weird if you let it be weird’. Also Albus was grinning at the two of them, fascinated by their interaction.

·         Helen didn’t reel Samuel in or anything, Samuel stayed at the top of the stairs with Theo, so there was none of the close up interaction, but that didn’t make it less funny. When Scorpius said ‘received and entirely understood’, she said her line and ran away cackling wildly. It was clear she was going to have so much fun torturing Scorpius about his crush before she let it go anywhere, and was really looking forward to doing so.

·         When Scorpius said he thought he might make the house Quidditch team eventually, Albus threw his head back and laughed so hard. It was a definite throwback to Scorpius’s ‘athletic’ sarcasm in the Voldy timeline.

·         The hug was very sweet and tight. Albus didn’t hug back, but Scorpius lingered for a moment, and his ‘I wasn’t sure if I should or not’ was just the right sort of breathless and uncertain, and full of meaning. And Albus responded with this big grin, and sort of teasingly walked his fingers all the way up Scorpius’s arm to his shoulder when he said he should ask Rose if it was the right thing to do.

·         Such a great scene, and this is only the start.

A Beautiful Hill (Scene Fifteen)

·         I adored the way Theo delivered the smoke ring line, just a hint of excitement to be telling his dad about this thing he’d witnessed, before trailing away and worrying if he should have said it. Also, Harry’s ‘yeah?’ wasn’t so much a question, but a statement that he already knew this but loved hearing about it again.

·         I simply loved how all Jamie’s set up for this scene came to fruition with the ‘you don’t think I’m scared of anything’. He and Theo had worked so hard for this moment, and it was wonderful, Harry finally being able to tell Albus about all his fears.

·         Albus’s line about his childhood being a constant struggle just like Harry’s got a really cute little laugh. That’s one line that was really believable, thanks to the awkward, insecure Albus we were presented with.

·         There was no touching of Albus’s heart in this version of the scene, but it was still really nice and it still worked as a moment between the two of them.

·         Theo absolutely nailed the pigeon racing line. Knocked it out of the park. It was hilarious. The delivery was perfect. (Which I was really happy about, because not every Albus does a great job with that one. It’s my least favourite line of Mackley’s performance.)

·         The end of the scene went back to the dorm scene again. It had the same feel to it as that scene. Harry and Albus really listening to one another, and understand each other.

·         They actually started off a little away from Cedric’s grave, and Harry guided Albus a step or two across to it, which I really liked.

·         When Harry asked how well Albus knew Craig, he really wanted to hear the answer. It was an attempt to connect with Albus. And Albus seemed really sad when he said ‘not well enough’. His emotion was the same as Harry’s, so they were both sharing in this moment of loss. And I loved how Harry’s recounting of what Cedric could have been felt like he’d picked this information up over the years, like he didn’t know it at the time, but that he’d worked to find out about Cedric (which goes nicely with his line to Amos earlier about Amos knowing he sympathises with his efforts to memorialise Cedric), and that he was now recounting everything he’d found out, and trying to make Albus understand what they were doing there. And Albus did understand.

·         The final moment was beautiful. They delivered the last two lines, and then stood apart for a moment, not touching. Then slowly Harry reached out and put an arm around Albus. Albus glanced at him, then stepped across and really melted into him. And only then did the lights go down. I loved that they waited for that moment to play out, and I adored how that all important moment of Albus and Harry’s coming together was handled. Fantastic job.

Brief curtain call notes:

·         Samuel was tearing up when he saw the standing ovation. He looked so overwhelmed with pride and happiness. It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Also, James Howard put an arm round him as they went off after the last bow.

·         The ensemble bow was a mess, but I guess no one ever has time to rehearse curtain calls and they’re always carnage.

·         Mark took the Sorting Hat’s hat off for his bow, which I thought was a lovely touch.

·         Jamie was so bouncy during the curtain call. He’s inherited Jamie P’s enthusiasm for leading the bows.

·         The whole cast just looked so happy and amazed and overwhelmed by the love from the audience. It was so cute.

Final thoughts – what a lovely Part Two. They pulled it out of the bag. I’m so desperate to go again immediately and see a really good Part One, but I’m going to restrain myself. Also, all the cast are so sweet and lovely at stage door. James Howard is so proud of Samuel (and Theo). We finally have a Jamie who does stage door! James Phoon entered Friday Forty all last year and never won. Apparently Samuel and Theo met up before rehearsals started and went to see the play a couple of times, plus Samuel is a massive Potterhead. April is simply amazing and lovely (she checked if it was alright to sign my programme in green pen when everyone else had used black). Sarah who plays Polly was delightful and said she didn’t ask for the purple streak in the wig, they just gave it to her and she loved it!

Also, we had a brilliant and insightful chat with Sonia Friedman. But if you want to know more about that, please message me or ask, because I think I’ve rambled on quite enough!

Thank you so much for reading this epic recap (if you’ve made it to the end), and I hope you will enjoy the new cast if/when you see them. I know I’m in love with them already. They’re going to be spectacular.

[shannrussell-blog1]

When you say ‘Coober Pedy’, three things usually come to mind. Firstly, opals. It’s the opal capital of the world. Secondly, hot and remote. And finally, it makes a convenient stop on your way to Uluru or somewhere else you actually want to go. And all of those things are true.

What’s also true is Coober Pedy actually makes a pretty good base to do some serious exploring in the region. A one trick pony it ain’t – it’s a genuine destination in itself if you’re prepared to look a little further afield and don’t mind getting dusty.

I recently drove up for the Kanku-Breakaways Marathon and that’s where my adventure started.

The view of the Kanku-Breakaways. 

Do you need a 4WD for this trip?

The Kanku-Breakaways is about 30km north of Coober Pedy. The road in is unsealed, but fine with a 2WD. It’s worth mentioning, any unsealed road can have issues in wet weather though, so an SUV would be preferable, but a 4WD is the best and safest option. In good conditions though, a 2WD will get you where you need to go. Eventually.

You can take a 2WD, but a 4WD would be preferable. 

Gear to take

When I’m on the go like this and lightweight gear isn’t required, I go for extreme comfort and sleep in the back of my SUV with an Exped Megamat and the Coleman Pilbara C-5 sleeping bag. It may be warm during the day, but at night it can get down to around zero, so you’ll want something that keeps you warm.

Are there opportunities for hikes or walks?

There aren’t really any hikes or opportunities to explore on foot at the Kanku-Breakaways, it’s very much a case of driving in and stopping at a few lookouts to take in the views. Which are awesome. There are two main lookouts and a few places to stop throughout the park, including the dingo fence and the Moon Plains – an unbelievably barren landscape that, as the name suggests, looks not unlike the moon. This spot has been used in a number of films including Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and The Red Planet.

You can do a round trip, entering off the highway and coming back to town via the unsealed Kempe Road. It’ll take half-a-day tops and only a few hours if you’re on a mission.

If you want to head off on foot, you can explore the Moon Plains. 

Exploring the town

My next stop was to do some exploring around town. I’m not big on tourist attractions as such but I figured I’d take in some of the sights. In half a day I visited Tom’s Opal Mine and did a self-guided tour.

You’d probably get more information on a hosted group tour, but a quick self-tour is also fun and more my speed. They even lend you a blue light to spot opal in the mine walls which is very cool.

The grass-less golf course is one of the things to see in Coober Pedy.

Crocodile Harry’s

I’m not one for golf, but driving past the local golf course with not a blade of grass in sight is a good reminder of the Aussie sense of humour.

And, a visit to Crocodile Harry’s Underground Nest is a good reminder that heat can fry your brain. Crocodile Harry was an actual crocodile hunter in the Northern Territory before moving to Coober Pedy where there’s a distant lack of crocodiles, so he started hunting gemstones instead. He ended up building one of the whackiest houses you’re every likely to see. And trust me, I’ve seen a few.

Like a lot of miner’s homes in the area, his is underground. What’s not like other miner’s homes, is his home decoration skills which are off the charts. Well worth a look and a laugh. Both are only a few minutes out of town.

Crocodile Harry’s is a unique tourist destination in the town of Coober Pedy. 

Sightseeing in Coober Pedy

If you’re up for more sightseeing around town, there’s Faye’s Underground Home, the underground Catacomb Church, the underground Serbian Orthodox Church, the underground bookshop and if you’re hungry, John’s Pizza which weirdly enough, isn’t underground.

Equally weird, they claim to have once been included in a list of the top ten pizza places in Australia, but I’m yet to work out if that’s for real, or another quirk of the Aussie sense of humour. Much like their ‘Coat of Arms’ pizza which has emu and kangaroo from the Australian coat of arms. I kid you not.

Galleries to visit when in the town

Back in town, you could visit any number of galleries offering various indigenous art, but Josephine’s is the one to go to because it’s also a kangaroo orphanage and…baby kangaroos are awesome! They close the gallery and feed the roos twice a day, so get there on time, or get locked out.

Josephine’s – the gallery and kangaroo orphanage is the best one to visit in town. 

Accommodation in the area

There’s plenty of accommodation options in town including numerous underground hotels. I was on a budget, so I opted for a cabin at the caravan park, opposite the drive-in. Yes, there’s a drive-in that usually operates on weekends.

Day trip to the Painted Desert

If you’re up for some more serious exploring, The Painted Desert is a full day trip. You could do it on your way to somewhere else, but I did it as a loop ending up back in Coober Pedy. I went there via Kempe Road, an unsealed road directly out of town then turned off to Arckaringa station, and came back via Painted Desert Road.

You’ll need a full day to check out the Painted Desert. 

It’s definitely do-able in an SUV but I’m not gonna lie, a few pieces broke off my car as it was so rocky and rough in places. If you go slow or have a real 4WD maybe it won’t be an issue, but this area is remote and the roads can be pretty rough in places.

You could do this trip on the way to Oodnadatta, or pop out on the highway about 150km north of town and be on your way up to the NT.

Due to the rough roads, it would pay to be in a 4WD. 

The Painted Hills

Breaking your trip up and staying the night at Arckaringa probably isn’t such a bad idea either. I’m usually travelling with time restrictions and so I squeezed this trip into half a day, driving back down the highway after dark – which is not something I’d really recommend with sheep, cattle, wild brumby and roos on the road.

The Painted Desert itself is quite spread out. There’s a lookout area, and a few kilometres away, a short walk you can do which is pretty cool.

It’s worth checking out Wright’s Air for a tour of the Painted Hills.

As good as the Painted Desert is, I can’t help but feel it’s the poor cousin to the similarly named Painted Hills, south-east of Coober Pedy. I’m almost certain you can’t actually drive there regardless of the vehicle you have unless that vehicle happens to be a light aircraft. If you don’t have one of those, hit Wrights Air up for a tour.

They’ve just worked out a few of their light aircraft can land nearby, and have started doing tours in the area. Although all I did was fly over, this looks like total bucket list stuff to land, and go in for a wander. I’m sure it’s only matter of time before you can access it by road, but for now, it’s by air only.

Visiting Lake Eyre

And, if you’re going to jump in a light aircraft, you may as well check out some of the other local sights including Lake Eyre which, right now is one of the rare times it’s filling up with water courtesy of the Queensland floods a few months back.

As great as it was to see Lake Eyre filling up with water, the true highlight for me was simply the landscapes from above. They were absolutely mesmerising. The shapes. The colours. The textures. The patterns. I literally could not take my eyes off of any of it. It was incredible.

I know a tour in a light aircraft won’t be in everyone’s budget, but I cannot recommend highly enough that you find a way to do it at least once.

The view flying over Lake Eyre was incredible.

Stopping over in Woomera

Finally, there’s the trip between Adelaide and Coober Pedy. I went up via the highway, stopping in Woomera for the night. It’s where the rocket base was back in the 60s. Unfortunately, there’s really not many accommodation choices there or anything else for that matter, although, there’s an outdoor space museum which is well worth a half-hour look.

I stayed at Mt Ive Sheep Station on the way home. 

Mt Ive Station

On the way back, I headed inland into Kingoonya and down the west side of Lake Gairdner, staying the night at Mt Ive (sheep) Station. Even a few weeks later, my teeth are still rattling from the drive as some of the unsealed roads are super corrugated, but the landscape was amazing, and there was plenty of wildlife along the way including emus, kangaroos and wombats.

I went there because Mt Ive has direct access to nearby Lake Gairdner, the salt lake where the Dry Lake Racers have Speedweek in March every year. Mt Ive Station has camping, basic ‘Shearer’s Quarters’ accommodation, and if you’re lucky and it’s available, ’the princess suite’ – a restored, stand-alone cottage with air conditioning – which is where Miranda Kerr stayed when doing a photoshoot in the area.

All in all, my trip to Coober Pedy and the Kanku-Breakaways Park was a good one. 

Coober Pedy is a dry and remote location, but it’s still a seriously cool place to explore if you don’t mind the dust and you’re ready for an open road adventure.

Are you thinking of heading off on a spontaneous road trip to the arid and scenic Coober Pedy?

  The post Coober Pedy’s Travel Secrets – More than just Opals & Mines appeared first on Snowys Blog.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 8th December 2019

Top 10

This is a pretty easy week for me, thankfully, as not much has changed... well, apart from pretty much everything... except the top four, of course. “Dance Monkey” by Tones and I is at its tenth consecutive week at #1.

At number-two, we have “Before You Go” by Lewis Capaldi steady at the runner-up spot.

Similarly non-moving off of the debut at number-three is “Own It” by Stormzy featuring Ed Sheeran and Burna Boy. I’d say this could make a viable play for #1 in two weeks with the album release but I have my qualms, mostly because... well, you’ll see.

“Don’t Start Now” by Dua Lipa has not moved at number-four.

Arizona Zervas keeps climbing with “ROXANNE” up two spaces to number-five. As much as I hate to say it, this could clinch the top spot in the foreseeable future.

Billie Eilish is only slowly pushing herself down the chart, with “everything i wanted” down a spot to number-six.

“Memories” byhabm Maorith 5n is aipneone s;aceygw to nnujmberse0even bht who the hell cares

Now here’s the big story: “All I Want for Christmas is You”, the 1994 classic by Mariah Carey, straight off of its re-entry in the Top 40 last week, is up a whopping 26 spaces, probably the largest increase we’ve seen in months. It’s getting the #1, I’m guaranteeing it, in both the UK and US. It has virtually no competition. It’s getting there.

“South of the Border” by Ed Sheeran featuring Camila Cabello and Cardi B isn’t moving at number-nine.

At #10, we have “Heartless” by the Weeknd, a debut in the top 10 that I honestly expected to be higher, but nonetheless, it’s here and I’ll talk more about it later, but it’s the Weeknd’s 21st UK Top 40 hit and his eighth top 10.

Climbers

As I expected, there are no climbers to speak of here. You’ll see why.

Fallers

Well, here’s our first of three big lists to cover in this episode, as we have 14 fallers within the Top 40. Alright, let’s blast through them all: “Bruises” by Lewis Capaldi and “Down Like That” by KSI with Rick Ross, Lil Baby and S-X, both in the top 10 last week, are down five and seven spaces respectively to #11 and #17. “Good as Hell” by Lizzo isn’t far off, down seven spots to #19, and “Netflix & Chill” by Fredo is down five positions to #24... You know what, I’m typing too many words and too little numbers, here we go: “Turn Me On” by Riton, Oliver Heldens and Vula is down eight to #25, “Professor X” by Dave is down five to #27, “Must Be” by J Hus is down eight to #28, “Lights Up” by Harry Styles is down 14 to #29, “HIGHEST IN THE ROOM” by Travis Scott is down seven to #30 and “Ride It” by Regard featuring Jay Sean is down six to #31 – that’s five consecutive fallers. “Someone You Loved” by Lewis Capaldi is down eight to #34, “New Dior” by DigDat and D-Block Europe is down nine to #35 off of the debut last week, “Don’t Rush” by Young T & Bugsey with Headie One is down eight to #37, and finally, “Nice to Meet Ya” by Niall Horan is at #38, down 16 spaces from last week. The sad thing is that I think most if not all of these songs, excluding “Bruises” and “Down Like That”, have been hit by the Christmas explosion and prematurely lost their chart runs, which is kind of sad – I don’t see these tracks rebounding anytime soon.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

Now for our second list of 12 drop-outs, which is only slightly less than the last list. Don’t worry, these lists do get increasingly smaller... or decreasingly bigger, however you want to phrase it. Out from #27 is “Orphans” by Coldplay, “Watermelon Sugar” by Harry Styles is out from #28 (It’ll rebound due to the album release in the next two weeks), “God is a Dancer” by Tiesto and Mabel is out from #30, “Loyal” by PARTYNEXTDOOR and Drake is out from #31, “Liar” by Camila Cabello is out from #32 (It’ll rebound next week if nothing goes awry, although she has suffered a serious sophomore slump), “Gangsta” by Darkoo and One Acen is out from #33, “French Kisses” by ZieZie and Aitch is out off of the debut from #34, “Circles” by Post Malone is finally out from #37 and “Better Half of Me” by Tom Walker is out from #38. I don’t see many of these rebounding, although the releases of sophomore albums Fine Line and Romance could seriously help out Harry and Camila, and “Gangsta” and “French Kisses” seem like they could rise later on.

Edit: I forgot to note that “Can’t Fight This Feeling” by Bastille and the London Contemporary Orchestra is out from #39.

IT’S CHRISTMAS INNIT

Now for our final list, and our shortest, with only seven entries, although I will also recite the year they were produced just to show how insane these returns are every year. “Step into Christmas” by Elton John, from 1973, is back at #39, “Santa Tell Me” by Ariana Grande, from 2014, is back at #33, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé, from 2011, is back at #32, “Merry Christmas Everyone” by Shakin’ Stevens, from 1985, is back at #26, “Do They Know it’s Christmas?” by Band Aid, from 1984, is back at #23, “Fairytale of New York” by The Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl, from 1987, is back at #22, and “Last Christmas” by Wham!, also from 1984, is back at #13. Rest in peace to George Michael (Who actually contributed to two songs here), Kirsty MacColl and Rick Parfitt.

NEW ARRIVALS

#40 – “Falling” – Trevor Daniel

Produced by KC Supreme, Taz Taylor and Charlie Handsome – Peaked at #3 in Latvia and #41 in the US

I have no introduction for this. It’s just one of these TikTok songs and it’s produced by the new crop of trap-rap Internet Money-type guys. I don’t care for Lil Tecca or most of the crop surrounding him, so I doubt I’ll like this. This is Trevor Daniel’s first UK Top 40 hit and yeah, surprise, surprise, it’s not great. The bland guitar pick-up is good enough, but Trevor Daniel cannot sing and makes no effort to convince you that he can. The distorted sub-bass is just odd and honestly way too menacing and dark for a break-up song that paints itself not as a kiss-off, but more like a “Thank God I found someone else” song, so why isn’t this happier? The trap percussion is an FL Studio loop, and his delivery and cadence is mopey and pathetic. Everything here just feels painfully amateur, almost offensively so. This might be a lot worse than I’m giving off with my more apathetic tone here, but this is underdeveloped with a singular verse that somehow stretches out to nearly three minutes due to an overlong chorus. Yeah, no, I can’t stand this. Next.

#14 – “River” – Ellie Goulding

We’ve seen this before with Katy Perry’s “Cozy Little Christmas” last year. A week before the real Christmas kick-in, a new, mediocre Christmas-related song enters for the first time at an alarmingly high position by an increasingly irrelevant female pop star, that is exclusive to Amazon music for no other reason other than to bump sales and chart success, falsely implying that this song is successful. In the r/popheads thread about this chart, people upvoted a comment saying they didn’t even know Ellie Goulding had released anything – and I didn’t either, because it’s not on Spotify, Apple or even freaking TIDAL. It’s just on Amazon music, which is so odd to me but that is why I don’t have production info. No-one on Genius has bothered to download Goulding’s cover of a 1971 Joni Mitchell deep cut (I’m sure they just copy-pasted the original lyrics) to check the songwriting credits. The Wikipedia page for the song doesn’t have a separate section for Goulding’s version, and they did for the John Lewis advert rendition of “Can’t Fight This Feeling” that Bastille made with the London Contemporary Orchestra, a song that I forgot to even note myself until I realised it dropped out this week. In fact, I am protesting this song’s chart placement. Okay, that’s a bit far, but I’m not reviewing it, even if I could easily take a peep at a leaked YouTube re-upload. If it’s not on Spotify, it’s not on REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

#12 – “Blinding Lights” – The Weeknd

Produced by The Weeknd, Max Martin and Oscar Holter – Peaked at #3 in Lithuania and #11 in the US

It’s the Weeknd’s 22nd UK Top 40 hit: the double A-side with “Heartless” was released oddly, with “Blinding Lights” here being released days after and about a week after, was finally accompanied by a music video that’s really just an advertisement for Mercedes-Benz vehicles. Neither single got to experience their best possible tracking week in full, but nonetheless, both are still pretty high because it’s the Weeknd, and I’m actually somewhat excited for this. I’ve heard that it interpolates A-ha’s cheesy 80s synthpop classic “Take on Me”, and it wouldn’t be the first rendition I’ve heard of the song in 2019. That would be Weezer’s hilarious cover on both the Jimmy Fallon show (Where they played it with kids’ toys) and their “Teal Album”. Sorry, I bring Weezer up too much. Is the song good? Hell, yes. It starts with an overwhelming wave of ominous distortion before retro 80s synths quickly come in and an iconic, reverb-heavy drum pattern comes in that sounds awfully familiar – it’s probably also from “Take on Me”. The synth riff, as typical with 1980s synthpop, is hilariously grandiose and egregious, but the Weeknd kills it here as well, not letting the instrumental or even the freaking bongos playing during the verse shine over him or put him off. He blends in with the airy synth painting in the chorus, and it is gorgeous, it really is. I wish this was a tad catchier but that definitely will be a possibility for it to grow on me later on (Which hopefully it does, it’s already perfectly qualified for my best of 2020 list). The Weeknd’s vocals on the bridge are oddly powerful, and that last moment in the penultimate chorus where there is this epic beeping synth that rises until the synth riff drops once again is awesome. The pre-chorus is probably my favourite part, though, especially when the synths cut out for it to just be the Weeknd over the drums, right before the chorus kicks in. I love this so much, unexpectedly so, and I’m so glad it charted so high. I hope it survives the Christmas songs, though.

#10 – “Heartless” – The Weeknd

Produced by The Weeknd, Metro Boomin, Dre Moon and Illangelo – Peaked at #1 in the US

If “Blinding Lights” was the “pop” single, this is the “R&B” single. It’s very much like the Weeknd to release two singles harboured towards two different demographics and two different radio formats, and for both of them to be smash hits, although dropping them at the same time is a tad overwhelming. I can skip the pre-amble as I’ve already done that at the start of the episode, so does it deserve its (Likely single) chart-topping week on the Billboard Hot 100? Well, yeah, I’d say so definitely, this is pretty cool, although not nearly as good as “Blinding Lights” or really any of his songs by now. This really is only decent-tier Weeknd but, man, this guy’s too good. Metro Boomin is one of my favourite hip-hop producers, and he definitely makes his presence known here, with the watery synths in the intro being abruptly drowned out by massive 808 bass and a skittering trap pattern, as well as the Weeknd whispering “Sheesh” for whatever reason. Weeknd uses a very typical delivery for him here, one I’ve heard on his other massive #1 hits, “The Hills” and “Starboy”, but he still sounds charismatic as all hell, and rides the beat incredibly well, especially when those drum hits come in before pounding back into the groovy trap beat. Weeknd plays more into his cocaine-addict sex god persona here, but is pretty thorough and honestly kind of funny here (Despite sounding checked-out in the chorus’ whiny falsetto), as he’s “running through the [women] like a dog pound” and getting so much of said [women] that it’s falling out of his pockets... although he definitely doesn’t just glamorise the sour rockstar lifestyle, in fact he predicts himself to be jumping the shark in seven years (Or, alternatively, says he has already jumped the shark within his seven-year-long career). On both of these songs, however, I do feel that while they don’t run too long, they don’t really have that effective of a climax, even if both the final choruses are epic (This one going for a distorted, cluttered vocal samples to build up the dark sonic atmosphere replacing a plundering bass), and the bridges are kind of unnecessary. I’m not complaining that these songs exist though, they’re both pretty good at least. Welcome back, Abel, we missed you.

Conclusion

Best of the Week is going to the Weeknd for both “Heartless” and ESPECIALLY “Blinding Lights”, and Worst of the Week goes to Trevor Daniel for “Falling”. We’ll see next week a large amount of Christmas nonsense coming in once again, as well as the impacts of a certain unfortunate circumstance I’ve said my peace on with Twitter @cactusinthebank, which you can follow for more musical ramblings. See you next week.

[isakvaltzrsen]

92 truths

i was tagged by the lovely @wandarogers. Thank you so much!! ♡

rules: once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. at the end, choose 25 people to tag!

last… 
[1] drink: water 
[2] phone call: my mom 
[3] text message: to my best friend 
[4] song you listened to: waking up in vegas - katy perry 
[5] time you cried: well i got closed to tears yesterday cause i got nervous while driving

have you ever… 
[6] dated someone twice: no 
[7] been cheated on: no 
[8] kissed someone and regretted it: lol yes 
[9] lost someone special: yes 
[10] been depressed: yes 
[11] gotten drunk and thrown up: nope, still super proud of that one.

list 3 favourite colours: 
[12] blue 
[13] pink 
[14]  green

in the last year have you… 
[15] made new friends: not really 
[16] fallen out of love: no 
[17] laughed until you cried: yes, thank the gods  
[18] found out someone was talking about you: hit me where it hurts :)) 
[19] met someone who changed you: no 
[20] found out who your true friends are: yes, sort of. still going through that process. 
[21] kissed someone on your facebook list: yes 
[22] how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: most of them tbh 
[23] do you have any pets: my beautiful dog 
[24] do you want to change your name: no 
[25] what did you do for your last birthday: had a dinner party at my house 
[26] what time did you wake up: around 10am. i was hoping to study but oops. 
[27] what were you doing at midnight last night: i was actually on tumblr lol  
[28] name something you cannot wait for: getting into college. i can't take this limbo anymore. 
[29] when was the last time you saw your mother: like 5 min ago.  
[30] what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: so many things to wish for. but for starters: i wanna be a college student. and i wanna be in a serious relationship.  
[31] what are you listening to right now: television in the other room, plane passing above my house.  
[32] have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes 
[33] something that is getting on your nerves: i never seem to have enough time and motivation to study.  
[34] most visited website: probably tumblr tbh. or netflix. 
[35] elementary: good stuff 
[36] high school: also good stuff but with more stress  
[37] college: my dream 
[38] hair colour: dark brown 
[39] long or short hair: long 
[40] do you have a crush on someone: no 
[41] what do you like about yourself?: i'm a glass half full kind of girl.  [42] piercings: none [43] blood type: omg i always forget that's so embarrassing  [44] nickname: li / ali / lice  
[45] relationship status: single 
[46] zodiac sign: capricorn 
[47] pronouns: she/her 
[48] fav tv show: oh wow, so many. let's name a few. skam, b99, friends, prison break, suits. 
[49] tattoos: no 
[50] right or left handed: right

first… 
[51] surgery: -  
[52] piercing: - 
[53] best friend: carolina. we studied together at pre-school and then met again in high school :)) 
[54] sport: ballet 
[55] vacation: some beach probably but idk 
[56] pair of trainers: what? lol  
[57] eating: - 
[58] drinking: - 
[59] i’m about to: study yay 
[60] listening to: my playlist 
[61] waiting for: my life to begin lol  
[62] want: maybe i should get some water 
[63] get married: eventually yes 
[64] career: medicine [65] hugs or kisses: both [66] lips or eyes: eyes [67] shorter or taller: taller [68] older or younger: older

[69] romantic or spontaneous: romantic [70] nice arms or nice stomach: nice arms [71] sensitive or loud: both [72] hook up or relationship: relationship [73] troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker 


[74] kissed a stranger? yes 
[75] drank hard liquor? yes 
[76] lost glasses/contact lenses? no 
[77] turned someone down: yes 
[78] sex on first date?: no 
[79] broken someone’s heart? i hope not. 
[80] had your own heart broken? yes. 
[81] been arrested? no 
[82] cried when someone died? yes 
[83] fallen for a friend: yes

do you believe in… 
[84] yourself? yes 
[85] miracles? i'm not sure.  
[86] love at first sight? not really. 
[87] santa claus? lol 
[88] kiss on the first date? depends i guess  
[89] angels? no

other… 
[90] current best friend’s name: thainá, leticia, isabella, raquel. 
[91] eye colour: brown 
[92] favourite movies: i'm a rom com kind of girl, i literally love all of them. but also the man from uncle, wonder woman, harry potter, disney animations and captain america. 

[shannrussell-blog1]

When you say ‘Coober Pedy’, three things usually come to mind. Firstly, opals. It’s the opal capital of the world. Secondly, hot and remote. And finally, it makes a convenient stop on your way to Uluru or somewhere else you actually want to go. And all of those things are true.

What’s also true is Coober Pedy actually makes a pretty good base to do some serious exploring in the region. A one trick pony it ain’t – it’s a genuine destination in itself if you’re prepared to look a little further afield and don’t mind getting dusty.

I recently drove up for the Kanku-Breakaways Marathon and that’s where my adventure started.

The view of the Kanku-Breakaways. 

Do you need a 4WD for this trip?

The Kanku-Breakaways is about 30km north of Coober Pedy. The road in is unsealed, but fine with a 2WD. It’s worth mentioning, any unsealed road can have issues in wet weather though, so an SUV would be preferable, but a 4WD is the best and safest option. In good conditions though, a 2WD will get you where you need to go. Eventually.

You can take a 2WD, but a 4WD would be preferable. 

Gear to take

When I’m on the go like this and lightweight gear isn’t required, I go for extreme comfort and sleep in the back of my SUV with an Exped Megamat and the Coleman Pilbara C-5 sleeping bag. It may be warm during the day, but at night it can get down to around zero, so you’ll want something that keeps you warm.

Are there opportunities for hikes or walks?

There aren’t really any hikes or opportunities to explore on foot at the Kanku-Breakaways, it’s very much a case of driving in and stopping at a few lookouts to take in the views. Which are awesome. There are two main lookouts and a few places to stop throughout the park, including the dingo fence and the Moon Plains – an unbelievably barren landscape that, as the name suggests, looks not unlike the moon. This spot has been used in a number of films including Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome and The Red Planet.

You can do a round trip, entering off the highway and coming back to town via the unsealed Kempe Road. It’ll take half-a-day tops and only a few hours if you’re on a mission.

If you want to head off on foot, you can explore the Moon Plains. 

Exploring the town

My next stop was to do some exploring around town. I’m not big on tourist attractions as such but I figured I’d take in some of the sights. In half a day I visited Tom’s Opal Mine and did a self-guided tour.

You’d probably get more information on a hosted group tour, but a quick self-tour is also fun and more my speed. They even lend you a blue light to spot opal in the mine walls which is very cool.

The grass-less golf course is one of the things to see in Coober Pedy.

Crocodile Harry’s

I’m not one for golf, but driving past the local golf course with not a blade of grass in sight is a good reminder of the Aussie sense of humour.

And, a visit to Crocodile Harry’s Underground Nest is a good reminder that heat can fry your brain. Crocodile Harry was an actual crocodile hunter in the Northern Territory before moving to Coober Pedy where there’s a distant lack of crocodiles, so he started hunting gemstones instead. He ended up building one of the whackiest houses you’re every likely to see. And trust me, I’ve seen a few.

Like a lot of miner’s homes in the area, his is underground. What’s not like other miner’s homes, is his home decoration skills which are off the charts. Well worth a look and a laugh. Both are only a few minutes out of town.

Crocodile Harry’s is a unique tourist destination in the town of Coober Pedy. 

Sightseeing in Coober Pedy

If you’re up for more sightseeing around town, there’s Faye’s Underground Home, the underground Catacomb Church, the underground Serbian Orthodox Church, the underground bookshop and if you’re hungry, John’s Pizza which weirdly enough, isn’t underground.

Equally weird, they claim to have once been included in a list of the top ten pizza places in Australia, but I’m yet to work out if that’s for real, or another quirk of the Aussie sense of humour. Much like their ‘Coat of Arms’ pizza which has emu and kangaroo from the Australian coat of arms. I kid you not.

Galleries to visit when in the town

Back in town, you could visit any number of galleries offering various indigenous art, but Josephine’s is the one to go to because it’s also a kangaroo orphanage and…baby kangaroos are awesome! They close the gallery and feed the roos twice a day, so get there on time, or get locked out.

Josephine’s – the gallery and kangaroo orphanage is the best one to visit in town. 

Accommodation in the area

There’s plenty of accommodation options in town including numerous underground hotels. I was on a budget, so I opted for a cabin at the caravan park, opposite the drive-in. Yes, there’s a drive-in that usually operates on weekends.

Day trip to the Painted Desert

If you’re up for some more serious exploring, The Painted Desert is a full day trip. You could do it on your way to somewhere else, but I did it as a loop ending up back in Coober Pedy. I went there via Kempe Road, an unsealed road directly out of town then turned off to Arckaringa station, and came back via Painted Desert Road.

You’ll need a full day to check out the Painted Desert. 

It’s definitely do-able in an SUV but I’m not gonna lie, a few pieces broke off my car as it was so rocky and rough in places. If you go slow or have a real 4WD maybe it won’t be an issue, but this area is remote and the roads can be pretty rough in places.

You could do this trip on the way to Oodnadatta, or pop out on the highway about 150km north of town and be on your way up to the NT.

Due to the rough roads, it would pay to be in a 4WD. 

The Painted Hills

Breaking your trip up and staying the night at Arckaringa probably isn’t such a bad idea either. I’m usually travelling with time restrictions and so I squeezed this trip into half a day, driving back down the highway after dark – which is not something I’d really recommend with sheep, cattle, wild brumby and roos on the road.

The Painted Desert itself is quite spread out. There’s a lookout area, and a few kilometres away, a short walk you can do which is pretty cool.

It’s worth checking out Wright’s Air for a tour of the Painted Hills.

As good as the Painted Desert is, I can’t help but feel it’s the poor cousin to the similarly named Painted Hills, south-east of Coober Pedy. I’m almost certain you can’t actually drive there regardless of the vehicle you have unless that vehicle happens to be a light aircraft. If you don’t have one of those, hit Wrights Air up for a tour.

They’ve just worked out a few of their light aircraft can land nearby, and have started doing tours in the area. Although all I did was fly over, this looks like total bucket list stuff to land, and go in for a wander. I’m sure it’s only matter of time before you can access it by road, but for now, it’s by air only.

Visiting Lake Eyre

And, if you’re going to jump in a light aircraft, you may as well check out some of the other local sights including Lake Eyre which, right now is one of the rare times it’s filling up with water courtesy of the Queensland floods a few months back.

As great as it was to see Lake Eyre filling up with water, the true highlight for me was simply the landscapes from above. They were absolutely mesmerising. The shapes. The colours. The textures. The patterns. I literally could not take my eyes off of any of it. It was incredible.

I know a tour in a light aircraft won’t be in everyone’s budget, but I cannot recommend highly enough that you find a way to do it at least once.

The view flying over Lake Eyre was incredible.

Stopping over in Woomera

Finally, there’s the trip between Adelaide and Coober Pedy. I went up via the highway, stopping in Woomera for the night. It’s where the rocket base was back in the 60s. Unfortunately, there’s really not many accommodation choices there or anything else for that matter, although, there’s an outdoor space museum which is well worth a half-hour look.

I stayed at Mt Ive Sheep Station on the way home. 

Mt Ive Station

On the way back, I headed inland into Kingoonya and down the west side of Lake Gairdner, staying the night at Mt Ive (sheep) Station. Even a few weeks later, my teeth are still rattling from the drive as some of the unsealed roads are super corrugated, but the landscape was amazing, and there was plenty of wildlife along the way including emus, kangaroos and wombats.

I went there because Mt Ive has direct access to nearby Lake Gairdner, the salt lake where the Dry Lake Racers have Speedweek in March every year. Mt Ive Station has camping, basic ‘Shearer’s Quarters’ accommodation, and if you’re lucky and it’s available, ’the princess suite’ – a restored, stand-alone cottage with air conditioning – which is where Miranda Kerr stayed when doing a photoshoot in the area.

All in all, my trip to Coober Pedy and the Kanku-Breakaways Park was a good one. 

Coober Pedy is a dry and remote location, but it’s still a seriously cool place to explore if you don’t mind the dust and you’re ready for an open road adventure.

Are you thinking of heading off on a spontaneous road trip to the arid and scenic Coober Pedy?

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