#hate to see you go but at least new save incoming

[tipreaper]

the save ive been playing in for 3 years has started being laggy from the amount of lore and I have to put an end to it 💔💔💔

[jq37]

Your sister who you love so much (even though you’ve never shown it) asks you to be her sister again, her true sister, in deed not just in name. And yes, of course that’s what you want. That’s what you’ve always wanted and now that she’s shattered your defenses and destroyed the ones who would pit you against each other and died right before your eyes, how could you refuse? How could your answer be anything but yes?

So you go home with her, not the ruins of your perfectly posh prison, but a new home which provides love and care and bunk beds and it’s so so nice. Ridiculously nice. Sickeningly nice. And a small, sick part of you almost misses your old home (if you can even call it a home) because yes, it was cruel and awful and you hated every second of it but you knew where you fit. You knew what your role was. You don’t fit in here. Everyone accepts you because they’re all so nice, but they don’t know how to volley back your sharp words or find a hidden, “I love you” within an offhanded insult. 

And then your sister leaves to save the world again because that’s who she is. She’s the kind of person who goes out to save the world with her friends when she’s needed and you’re not. You’re not, not, not. Not on any count. You don’t save things, you destroy them. And friends? You have to allow yourself to be vulnerable for friends so of course that’s out. Your sister is 16 and she’s out saving the world for the third time and you, fully grown at 18, are a wanted criminal who hasn’t even properly graduated from high school. You can’t stop thinking about it and, without your sister and her friends occupying the house as a buffer, the ones who are left try to get you to talk about it so you make a rash decision, as you are wont to do. You leave, like a thief in the night. You can make your own way. You can. You’ll prove it.

You find a shitty apartment and pay for it with the ill-gotten spoils from one of your many exploits. You could probably pawn some treasure for more luxurious  accommodations–there is that chest of rubies just lying around–but you don’t. That’s not what you deserve. And what if your sister needs help later? You don’t have access to your parental funds anymore which means she doesn’t either. You know she won’t ask anyone for help–you wouldn’t. But someone has to look after her. You’re an abjuration wizard. You protect people. You protect her. No, that’s a lie. But you want to make it not a lie. You want to start now.

If you’re saving the rubies then you need a source of income. You narrow down your least villainous talents to try and find a suitable job and hit on teacher. You’re good at magic, right? So how hard can teaching it be? Hopefully not as hard as securing the job, which proves trickier than expected because, oh right, you’re a wanted criminal who hasn’t graduated high school. But you dip into your villainous talents once more and tell yourself it’s for a good cause. You secure the job. You’re doing it. You’re making your own way. 

You want to text your sister to see if she’s doing alright but you don’t want to intrude and you don’t want to answer any questions about what you’ve been doing because then either you’ll have to lie or explain that you’ve left again, right after you promised you’d be there. Both options make your heart ache, especially since it’s her birthday. So you wait until the house is empty (mostly empty–you’re never really alone in a haunted house) and enter the room you and your sister shared for too brief a time. You paint her walls with carefully rendered runes, filled with all your abjuration magic and stamped with your arcane mark. It’s a possessive bit of spellcraft. A selfish claiming of a climactic kill. You mean to make a different kind of claim. You are claiming your sister, as she asked you to months ago. You are telling the world that she will not be fucked with while you live. Your rooms were so close before. You could hear her. You knew every night she went to bed in the grips of a panic attack with no one to console her. She won’t have to feel unsafe in her own room again. You can make sure of that at least. 

The sun rises one morning and you know that means your sister is alive and well and coming home. You teleport to Falinel to make sure she returns to her favorite dessert. It’s worth the spell slot and the chance of being recognized. The tower where they kept you is long destroyed and you know that this time, if you were ever captured or even killed, rescue wouldn’t be measured in a matter of months. It would be days. Hours even if your clever sister and her powerful divination magic put things together faster. The thought fills you with more emotion than you know what to do with. You leave a note. “I love you,” you think. “Enjoy the nemesis ward,” you write. 

Practicing magic, as it turns out, is a very different skill than teaching magic. The children are loud and obnoxious and you don’t quite realize that maybe your expectations are too high between the hothouse you grew up in and your sister being the world’s greatest diviner, fullstop. You know you can always go back to the manor, but that somehow makes it easier to stick it out. You’ve always been taught that pressure provides the best results but there’s something about the security of a safety net that makes everything a bit more bearable. And so what if you have to take a second job involving a light criminal element. You’re only smuggling–that’s barely even a real crime.

Your sister who has saved the world thrice now, texts you and she wants help. She is looking to you for help. And you do your best to oblige. You offer your knowledge, you offer your rubies, you invite her over again and again. She sends you a text and deletes it. You’re not the diviner in the family but you drain your spell slots scrying for information you already know. Information that you'll hear from her own lips in just a few hours. “I love you.”

She finally visits and you’re not unaware of the state of your apartment. You know you’ve been too exhausted for an Unseen Servant or even a round of Prestidigitations but you know that your sister has seen your mind and there’s nothing messier about you than that. She teases you and you tease her back. She’s the only one who understands how to deliver a complement with a backhand so you can receive it without your skin crawling. The only one who knows how much tartness you need with your sweetness. 

Later, she visits again. She sits in your filthy apartment and you watch trash TV and it’s the highlight of your week. Your month even. That should feel pathetic but, somehow it doesn’t. You want to tell her. She deserves to hear it from time to time without having to filter out the layers of prickliness that you add as second nature, a layer of armor as ever present as your abjurer’s ward. You may not be able to handle naked sentiment but she can. You’ve seen her with her friends. How affectionate they are. You’ve always been taught that loose lips sink ships but you have experience with ship sinking and this prospect fills you with much less dread. You tell her and it’s awkward and fumbling but you manage. Maybe loving people isn’t so different from loving cats.

You have a new job which is perfect because the school year is almost over and, blackmail or no, you aren’t sure how many times you’ll be able to get away with casting Sleep on your class to give yourself a break. Honestly, you should have applied for jobs in Leviathan from the start. Why would pirates care about your sketchy history and lack of credentials? You could teleport yourself to Leviathan every day but that would be a waste of a spell slot when the door to the Compass Points is right there in the manor (and if your sister happens to be there too then hey, happy coincidence). While you’re there, you might as well do your laundry. And stay for dinner from time to time. And spend time with your sister in your her room where your runes stand sentinel and your old bunk lays untouched. You don’t think you’re staring but later, as you go to grab a snack from the kitchen your sister throws you a casual, over the shoulder glance. 

“You can just move back in, if you want.”

And would it really be that easy? Just like that? After a year of trying to make a point or a plan or a better version of yourself or whatever? Just like that? 

You remember a year ago. You and your sister and words that will be burned into your mind forever. 

“Despite the fact that you have not earned it, I do love you.”

Just like that. 

You say yes. You stay. 

[genericpuff]

And so the titan finally falls.

Its corpse will be hung on display for the public's gawking until August 29th, after which it will be sent into the lockup known as Daily Pass, where completed series go to die.

Okay, all jokes aside though, this day was always coming so if you're unfamiliar with Daily Pass, here's the gist of how it works:

Any Originals series completed on Webtoons is eligible to go into their Daily Pass library. Any income made from this system is, theoretically, meant to go to the creator, but I say theoretically because we don't know what the split is between creators and WT's, and if there's any sort of Minimum Revenue Threshold shenanigans like with FastPass that would prevent a creator from receiving their share. That said, there are creators who have confirmed that Daily Pass is meant to help creators profit off their works after they're completed, so we at least know that.

As for how Daily Pass works:

Once behind Daily Pass, the majority of episodes (save for the first several episodes to give people enough content to get hooked on) are re-locked and only available under any of the three following conditions:

a.) Once per day you get one Daily Pass ticket per Daily Pass series to unlock any locked episode from that respective series. Meaning if you spend a Daily Pass ticket on Lore Olympus, you don't get another ticket to use for Lore Olympus for the day, but you'll still have a ticket to use for any other series you haven't unlocked yet that day. Ticket unlocks remain unlocked for 14 days, after which the episode will be locked again;

b.) If you have already spent your one Daily Pass ticket on a series you're reading but you REALLY want to read more episodes and don't want to wait until tomorrow, you will have the option to either pay for episodes with coins (which, unlike the Daily Pass ticket, is a permanent unlock) or use Ad Pass on eligible episodes (this is a temporary unlock like the Daily Pass ticket, but is only applied for THREE DAYS unlike the 14 you get from the Daily Pass ticket);

c.) Any episodes you FastPassed from a series original run are permanently unlocked, so if you were someone who paid for episode unlocks of LO every week, then congrats! None of those previous qualifications apply to you and you can re-read the series to your heart's content! You win at Daily Pass!

Now if you got through all that and are now thinking, "why is this so confusing???" don't worry, you're not alone! Readers fucking hate this system! I can't wrap my head around how it's in any way profitable for the creators when the people who are willing to pay for it ALREADY FUCKING PAID AND DON'T HAVE TO PAY AGAIN and the people who AREN'T willing to pay for it probably didn't see it as worth paying for the first time around when the comic was still new and updating - so why in the world would they pay for it NOW when they could just use Daily Pass tickets once per day when they were already willing to wait each WEEK for free unlocks?

Granted, the coin cost on Daily Pass series are usually lowered to accommodate the fact that they're completed, but the reality is that many Webtoon readers are already pretty reserved when it comes to spending coins on the app. This is largely due to WT's demographic being predominantly made up of teenagers and children, and while that can make for great viewing metrics, it's not so great in turning around a profit, because kids and teens don't typically have disposable income to spend on webcomics, let alone disposable income that has to be paid through an app store which typically requires credit cards/Paypal/etc.

The bitter irony is that the audience that has the most time to burn on the app also have the least amount of money to go around. So oftentimes - at least from what I've observed after using the app for years - readers will often be VERY picky with what they put their coins towards. Which begs the question again but in a different light - why in the world would someone choose to spend coins from their limited allowance on the app on a completed series that was once available to read for free and technically still can be read for free through ads and Daily Pass tickets?

I realize I'm digressing quite a bit, but all of what I'm going off about is already being reflected in the reactions I've seen from fans of LO who aren't excited to see it go behind Daily Pass (at least, the part of the audience that's been informed, god knows there will be a huge chunk of people asking where tf LO went after it goes behind DP lmao). Daily Pass in and of itself is just a crappy, inconvenient way to re-read completed comics. Even if you opt to do the Daily Pass ticket system, that's still essentially turning the act of re-reading comics into a chore, as it restricts you from binge-reading episodes which you typically would want to do with a series that's already been completed. The concept of new episodes every day might sound appealing as it's more frequent than the original once-a-week schedule, but in practice, it can often have the opposite effect of ruining the reading experience by turning it into a daily task rather than a pass-time the reader can freely participate in at their own pace.

All that said, it will definitely be interesting to see how LO does once it goes behind that Daily Pass wall. I think at best it will probably see an influx of traffic in the coming weeks from the people who either want to re-read it one more time, or the people who never finished it in the first place and see this as motivation to do so (and yes, if you haven't finished LO yourself yet, absolutely do so if you want to see for yourself how it ends BEFORE it becomes an inconvenience LOL). After that though, it'll probably be entirely on the physical copies to drive future sales, but those are a long way away from being completed.

When all is said and done, August 29th will mark the true end of the LO era of Webtoons. If the series finale was a funeral, then this is the moment we set its ashes adrift in the sea and say our final goodbyes.

It certainly was a hell of a ride. The good, the bad, and the absolutely insufferable.

[goldom]

HI3 Pt 5 Ch V let's go

Aaannd I'm immediately lost. Didn't we leave off in the middle of an apocalypse with an Evil Me floating in the sky? Why am I just on a spaceship hanging out?

No really, am I in the right chapter?

After a bit of searching it seems I'm missing seeing a whole first section of story dialogue. Watched it on YouTube. I'm still confused but I think I'm in the right place?

Also even as someone coming here from HSR, I do not love how it is suddenly being shoehorned into HI3. Sparkle crossover sillies, sure whatever, but making stuff like aeons part of the lore feels like a mistake. I guess not a financial mistake tho given the two games' relative income...

okay thank you story for taking pity on me

So the pt 1 girls and Vita aren't responsible for Dreamy? She was put there by Evil Dreamy Leylah who is a god? This is a lot to drop casually in a "since last time..." segment. This is exactly what I mean when I say mihoyo cannot write endings to save their lives, with rare exception. Just cliffhanger then skip ahead past the resolution.

Also I still don't actually get what a shadow calamity is (outside the simulation) but I'm willing to accept that part is due to me skipping past pt 1.5 for now.

10 shus? That's too many shus!

me.jpg

oh. goodie. another hoyoverse story about immortality. just what i wanted.

oh ffs is Dreamy obsessed with Sena because Leylah is using this whole simulation thing to try to undo something bad that happened to her Real!Sena in the past and it will in the end be a moral lesson about letting go of the dead I swear to god hoyo if I have already predicted where you're going with this and it's That Again, I am going to be so mad.

I'm starting to think hoyo does not know what jade looks like

Coralie is totes in love with Helia right, I'm not just imagining that?

oh god damn it it's called Amber Street because it's been preserved in time how did it take me this long to realize AGAIN just like with the Amber Lord?

Am I crazy or is Vita in plain white gown a way better look than her insanely elaborate normal outfit?

Big Herta energy

hey. hey. But wasn't this the patch before Sparkle?

Sure, I'll ship it.

...Looks like hoyo does too.

Current time frame: 100 years ago + 2 hours later + the next day - 3 years ago

Yknow the first time I met Baiji I had to go check if he shared a VA with Genshin's Baizhu to see if they were intended to be the same guy, because they seemed so similar. Though they weren't, I'm feeling that even more now.

You cannot tell me this is not Baizhu.

Sure that's a normal thing to say about your battle partner who you totally aren't in love with

lol ok

...I don't get to hear them before I pick one, huh?

oh shit it's Kiana

oh shit it's a Memokeeper. Man I feel bad for HI3 peeps suddenly having HSR shoved down their throats if they weren't interested before. And I'm still not happy that they switched out (at least the assumption of) "HSR is a separate branch universe on the tree" to "actually HI3 is within HSR's branch, just walled off from everyone else." It makes things like having another Himeko over there feel less acceptable, storytelling-wise. Similarly, the fact that Honkai hates Earth so so so much but the rest of the universe with its thousands of inhabited worlds are totally okay and left alone by it... that feels way dumber if they're supposed to be in the same universe.

It also opens the possibility of what would be some really bad ways they could merge the two. Like if Kiana suddenly bursts into HSR and goes "Hi, I'm the Aeon of Finality now" to save the day at some point, I'm preemptively calling that bad writing.

Oh that was the whole chapter, I did it. I was expecting 5-7 to be enormous the way 1-3 were, but that wasn't too bad. No new boss though, that sucks. I've really liked part 2's story bosses.

[countlessrealities]

I normally wouldn't do this, because this is a RP blog and one of its purposes is to allow me to take a break from reality, but this is too important and it's heaving me too much not to put it out there.

It's the first and ONLY post I'll ever make on the subject. Anything else can be discussed privately, if you want to talk to me about it. Ofc, with "talk" I mean a civil discussion, otherwise fuck off.

I'll start with saying this: I'm not American, I live in Europe. Still, what happened with the elections affects the whole world, including my country, so I think I have the right to be as bitter and upset and real fucking worried as anyone else.

Also because, you know, Russia and Ukraine are my neighbours, so if someone decides to do something extreme, like dropping a nuclear bomb, well...it was nice knowing you, guys.

However, that's just one of my concerns, and it's not even at the top of the list. What really scares me is what the world has been turning into in the past few years. There are extremists and fanatics everywhere, I see people getting killed every day on the news, and not just war victims. I'm talking deaths in countries that are supposed to be at peace and civilised.

Where I live, every day there's at least one woman who gets killed. The youngest one so far was 14. Every day there's some hate crime happening. Every day there are immigrants who die at sea, because my country prevents rescues and tries to stop humanitarian organisations from saving lives.

Every day our government makes a step further in denying us our rights. Abortion, euthanasia (which has never been legal in my country, btw, and now it probably never will), the right to hold peaceful protests, civil unions for not conventional (hetero cis) couples, a proper accessible health system, and so on. The list goes on and on.

I'm a doctor and I work in the public health system. Around here, the State is supposed to provide free basic care to everyone and make the rest at very accessible prices (with exemptions for some categories, depending on age, income, disability, etc). This sounds nice, but it's becoming less and less of a reality. They keep cutting our budgets, the waiting lists get longer and longer, people are forced to pay for what should be provided by the taxes they pay. It's nowhere as bad as it's in many other counties, not yet, but I see it getting worse every day. Over a year of waiting for an exam. You could literally die while waiting for it, if you can't afford to pay for it. Also, everything in the health system is understaffed. There aren't enough doctors, nurses and the rest of the personnel. A lot of my colleagues leave the public and open their own private practices and, as much as I hate it, I can't even blame them. We're mostly underpaid and the shifts are fucking brutal.

It's getting hard to do everything. Do your work properly, have freedom, be able to be yourself, be allowed to live your life now and with whom you choose.

I know for sure that Trump's winning is just going to exacerbate all of this and honestly I can't help but think that it's gonna end badly for a lot of people, if not for everyone. I'm not saying that the other side is blameless, it's their fault too if we got this far, but at least we wouldn't be risking what we're facing now with them.

I wish I could say that I'm shocked that he won, and with so many votes, but I'm not. If something, this is the umpteenth proof of what I've been thinking for years. Humans suck and we're obviously set on self-destruction. Just look at what we have done to the planet. And what's crazier is that, even with all the consequences of climate change slapping us in the face every day, we still go on as if it wasn't a big deal. Because, of course, unless it happens to you specially, it doesn't really matter, does it?

I'm not saying that I've completely lost the little faith I had in humanity after this, but I've surely become more pessimistic than I already was. Perhaps we should really just go extinct, it would be for the best.

I've rambled enough. I'll end by saying that, if there's at least a little justice in the universe, that man will get stopped before he can do irreparable damage. Does me wishing him the worst make me a bad person? Probably, in the eyes of some. But let's look at the fact. He's old, overweight, eats badly, probably never exercises. Being president of the USA is a highly stressful job. It's a fact that he is an individual with a high risk of cardiovascular events.

Anyway. Don't give up on trying to change things, no matter how little. I won't, even if I'm really tempted to. Stay safe, as much as you can. I hope to see you on the other side.

[rottenfleshnbones]

really, okay, i feel like i should explain my situation a little bit more. everything is under the cut so whatever. more of a vent, i guess

my parents are divorced and i live with my mother — anyone who's been here long enough knows how our relationship goes. anyway, my mother is disabled and is now off work and the only source of income is her benefits which is about 1.100brl (198 dollars)/month. i used to work until last year but my contract ended since i graduated hs, and with that i could have a fairly decent life (couldn't buy whatever i wanted but still could buy food and pay the bills, lol).

my father has a job and saves up money but he's very aware of how he spends it, so he rarely helps; mainly because he thinks my mother is "possessed" and just wants to drain my/his money. my mother is disabled and uhhh nearly an alcoholic, every money she puts her hands on she spends with beer & cigarettes, which is probably considered life goals by anyone under 30, but you can imagine there's not much left to use for anything else we actually need.

my father still pays child support (that's the last year, btw) but there's a lot of "discounts" (my phone bill, money he lends me to buy food, etc) so what i get is usually nearly nothing. the first thing i do with the money is buy my dogs food, then i see what i can do with the rest.

my mother forced me to make credit cards because she would "use them and pay the bills as if they were hers", now i'm quite literally drowning in debt. my score keeps dropping and it limits my chances of getting a job since they do check my score for some fucking reason.

i graduated high school last year with an i.t major, i have 1 year+3 months of work experience, i speak two languages (nothing to brag about but actually kind of if we take into consideration 99% of every other student in my class could hardly speak our own language), still i can't get a job at a fucking market. i can't be a fucking cashier. i've applied to so many jobs, i still do every day, and at this point i don't know what to do.

basically i mainly work with programming and cyber security but the laptop i owned died and if i'm too fucking poor to buy aspirin then you can guess i can't buy a new one, which could be a source of income as there's many freelancing stuff on the market right now.

now, why would i need money? as i said, my mother is nearly an alcoholic and disabled. i suffer from constant headaches since the meds i need are way too expensive for me right now, so i need at least a few boxes of aspirin monthly to go by. the thing is, my mother is in greater pain than me so she took all my painkillers, i don't mind it because i have sleeping issues so i need sleeping pills, which means at least at night i won't feel pain because i'll take the med and just sleep until the pain comes back the next morning, but then she actually took all my sleeping pills too.

now i feel pain, i can't sleep, and we don't have fucking groceries because both my parents are selfish fuckers. i got hurt the other day and i'm only treating my wounds because luckily i had shoplifted a few bandages a few days prior. this is ridiculous and rather embarrassing to admit, but i've been sleeping on a flat mattress on the floor for about two or more years now (something that keeps making my asthma worse and this shit nearly killed me). jesus. only now my father decided to buy me a bedframe, but of course he's gonna take part of it from my child support because my mother won't have the money to split, so basically next month i'll receive nothing.

i don't even know what to do anymore. i'm nearly going crazy, if i'm being honest. everyone in my family hates me for being "selfish", "cruel", "cold" and everything else. of course they do. why wouldn't they? they've always loved to bite and i've always refused to sit still while being attacked, now great! they all fucking hate me.

my mother also has this "ex" abusive boyfriend who (guess!) is an alcoholic and they keep fighting downstairs, or he keeps yelling her name here all day. this shit been going on for years, and i relapsed back in 2021 after being years clean, since i'd use the pain to distract myself from all that mess. still do. in the past 3 years i nearly died once after an allergic crisis, to this day i wish i did, and i tried taking my own life quite a few times. nearly succeeded this year, maybe i'll up the dosage next time.

TLDR; i'm fucked, my father has money to help but refuses to share because "if my mother can buy beer, then she can buy groceries" and my mother doesn't have money but spends it all when she does.

this turned out to be more of a vent, i don't even know. glad i got to get this outta my chest still. oh wow

[fckinwild-kiwi]

Dec. 14th: Let’s Play House

Day 14: Morning Routine/Handiwork Around the House

It’s time for day fourteen of @comp-lady’s Domestic December writing challenge!

Warnings: Swearing, *Slight* Allusions to Smut (This is an 18+ blog, minors dni)  Word Counts: 1.3k+ Words Pairings: Eddie Munson x Reader

You and Eddie had finally agreed, after the New Year you two would begin saving up money to move in to your own apartment with hopes that it would be by at least the middle of summer. With Eddie’s income working at the record shop and the money you’ve been saving from your job as a para in a school, you would finally save enough money to make a deposit on a studio or one bedroom apartment in Hawkins. 

“I think we should practice living together,” Eddie randomly blurted as he played on your bed. 

“You mean compared to what we have already been doing?” You said before laughing. “We already stay at each other’s places every night.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” Eddie agreed, sitting up and putting his head on his hands. He stayed quiet. You could tell something was beginning to eat away at him, it wasn’t in his nature to have long bouts of silence.

“What are you thinking about,” You said, walking to the edge of the bed to sit down before nudging your shoulder against his.

“I really want to have a trial run of living together, like actually,” Eddie said, turning his body to face yours. “People fall out of love all the time and the find little things they hate about each other because of their living arrangements. I don’t want that with us.” 

“Baby,” You whispered, now turning your body to face Eddie’s as you looked into his eyes. “We have been living a trial run, but if you want to make it feel more official, I can see if my Mom and Macy would give us the weekend alone? They might be able to go visit my grandparents or something.”

“We could decorate the house together for Christmas,” Eddie said, his eyes lighting up with excitement as he thought about the possibilities. 

“I swear on my heart, I will not fall out of love with you based on your living habits. Shit, I already know how messy you are, Eddie Munson,” You mumbled, pulling his head towards you to press a kiss to his nose. “But if it will ease your mind, I’d love a little domestic moment between us.”

The next day you had asked your mom if she would be okay with giving you and Eddie the space for a “domesticated trial run,” as your mom was calling it. She eagerly agreed but Macy was extremely hurt.

“Why don’t you guys want me here with you?” Macy asked Eddie the night they were getting ready to leave. 

“Sweet girl,” Eddie sighed, his eyes widening as he tried to determine the best way to approach this conversation. “You know we both love you right?” 

When Macy acknowledged Eddie’s question, he continued, “We want to live together sometime soon in a place that is our own home that you can visit us in. We want to pretend that we are living together alone for a few days to make sure we’ll be okay. I need to know if you sister farts in her sleep or not.” 

Eddie winked at you and your mom as Macy giggled at the word fart. “She does,” Macy said as she looked over at you before laughing harder.

“You’re such little traitor,” You said, stalking towards your sister to wrap her in a hug. “Be good this weekend, we’ll see you soon!”

“Have a good weekend, my lovelies,” Your mom said before she wrangled Macy into the car and drove away. 

“Soooo,” You whispered, making sure the car was out of eyesight before turning to Eddie. “We’re all alone, in a big house, what ever should we do?”

“I want to fix the ceiling fan in Macy’s room,” Eddie said, before turning towards the house and beginning his walk back. 

“What!” You shouted. “We are home alone and that’s what you want to do?”

“You’re incredibly sexy, baby,” Eddie said, chuckling. “And we’ll have plenty of time for that later, let me be the man of the house for a few hours.”

“I can not believe you,” You gawked. “Okay, go be the man of the house.”

Fist pumping the air, Eddie ran into the house and up the stairs to Macy’s room. As you began to follow him up the stairs, you could hear him banging around. 

“Eddie, what the fuck are you doing?” You questioned as you walked into the room. Spread before you were tools that you had never seen before. Eddie had a pencil behind his ear and an empty tool belt on his waist. “You were left alone for less than two minutes!”

“Oh, I had all of this stuff ready when Macy and your mom left,” Eddie said, shrugging. “Can you go get me a ladder?”

“Jesus Christ,” You mumbled, walking out of the room to grab the ladder from the garage. After finding the ladder, you began carrying it up the stairs. As you approached the stairs, you could hear a faint singing sound coming from Macy’s room. 

“We’ll know for the first time, if we’re evil or divine,” Eddie sang as you walked in to the bedroom. Placing the ladder against the wall, you walked over to Eddie and gently grabbed his face to press a kiss against his lips. 

“Dio?”

“Dio,” He agreed, kissing you again. “Thank you for the ladder, I’m going to try and fix this fan now.”

“Mm,” You mumbled as you watched your boyfriend start climbing the ladder with a look of concentration. Quickly, the idea of Eddie being a little domestic handyman began to grow on you. There was the man of your dreams, putting in manual labor to fix your little sister’s ceiling fan. And, he was wearing grey sweatpants, your domestic dream. “You look incredibly sexy up there with your work face on,” You said, smirking up at the curly-headed boy. 

“You think I’m sexy up here?”

“It’s definitely working for me,” You answered, proceeding to wink. 

“What about when I do this,” Eddie said, flexing as he turned the wrench, tightening the fan to the ceiling. 

“Yeah, baby,” You said, giggling at his macho display. “My big strong handyman!”

He chuckled as he finished fixing the fan. Before long, Eddie climbed down the ladder and jumped off the last step before dusting off his hands and presenting you with jazz hands. “I did it!”

“Macy is going to be so excited when they get home on Sunday!”

“Now imagine, five years from now, we’re married and our first child’s little dangly thing from their crib is loose. I’ll be able to fix it because that’s way easier than a ceiling fan,” Eddie said, matter-of-factly. There was no way to argue with his logic, fixing a mobile. 

“We’re married in five years? With a baby?” You questioned, stuck on the fact that he was thinking so far ahead and he spoke so sure of your future. 

“Well I’d like to think so,” Eddie said, his neck and cheeks heating up with a soft pink blush. “I’m pretty confident in our love.”

“Oh, my handsome boy,” You gushed. “Me too. If you’re so confident, why were you so worried about our ability to live together successfully?”

“Oh, I wasn’t,” Eddie said, shrugging. “I just wanted an excuse to show you how great it’s going to be when we do live alone. There’s nothing you could do, even farting in your sleep which you definitely do, that would make me fall out of love with you. But I also had to prove that I am capable of fixing anything.”

“I hardly think tightening a ceiling fan equates to the ability to fix anything,” You scoffed, before smiling at Eddie. “You’re sneaky but I love you. I’m excited for this weekend alone too.”

“C’mon, let’s go practice playing house,” Eddie said, scooping you up in his arms as you squealed.

“When you say, play houses do you mean?”

“Yeah, I’m gonna rock your world, baby,” Eddie said, huskily before dropping you on your bed.

[f0point5]

REALLY HOPE YOU SEE AND ANSWET THIS

Kelly posted on her insta story not that long ago that one advice/important lesson is to not rely on someone else to pay your bills

And I get she does the alo stuff and now, with the pregnancy, she had I think 3 new brand deals, but that's about it. You can get payed per insta post, but I don't think the low engagement she has, even when posting with Max and P, gets her much. Ronaldo probably does

No shame or judgement or anything, I actually like her and have been following her since she was with her ex, I am actually curious what is the amount of money that she could get from instagram (because I don't think she is on tiktok) that could sustain her lifestyle

I think she probably makes like 5k per sponsored post. That’s based on my rudimentary understanding of how influencer marketing works.

I remember seeing that story and being like “girl please” 😂

Idek how to say this in a way that doesn’t make me sound like a hater because I’m really not. I think she kind of…stretched it with that point tbh. Because look, I just don’t believe she finds her own lifestyle. I don’t think even her dad has enough money to be supporting her on a 50/50 basis with Max. And Danill can’t be paying that much child support. So like…come on. No judgement from me at all but for her to say that had me cracking up.

However, I do think the core point of “don’t be entirely reliant on someone else” is a thing. Like, a man can be paying your bills which should allow you to save any money you’re earning, which I presume is what she does, or at least uses her money as disposable income because she doesn’t have rent etc.. And that’s always good advice. My mum has a part time job that she uses to have her own money even though my step dad pays the bills. So it’s like, never let yourself be in a position of having no money at all if things go tits up. I agree with that.

But yeah I don’t think Kelly is on some 50/50 basis for the giant Monaco apartment, or all her Hermès bags. And again, no hate, because nor should she be with Max making in €70m a year.

[pshattuck]

Hello everyone so this is going to be a pretty big blog about the upcoming future of my life as a artist. So to try to shave off some time I will be copying and pasting the Twitter thread I made to here.

Startiiiing now:

“Hey everyone I got another update for you and it’s probably gonna sound like “she’s changing shit again” but I feel like a lot has been going on in my life and a lot of it is changing too and I think I discovered something about me and my artwork that I feel like is important.

The reason I started pumping out content before this new job I got was well after I lost my old caregiving job YouTube and commissions were my only source of income for the last 6 month and I honestly was making enough for bills at that point it was my family keeping me afloat.

So yeah, life was not kind to me and I got.. well extremely depressed. I kept applying and no one was accepted them the one job I wanted I did not get and I was lucky to just get by. My brain all the time for the past few months kept saying I was a failure Until I got lucky.

I just got done with shadowing and orientation and I’m now officially working at a job that yeah can be stressful but I fully enjoy. I’m feeling happy and I’m finally healing from this dark cloud that’s following me. And with this month coming to an end I realized something.

Growing up my art was the one thing that kept me happy it was my happiness from real life issues and it got me to meet the love of my life along with great people in online community’s. However, the more it became a stressor to live off my art… the less it made me happy.

Not to mention the reason I shared my art to begin with because even if it was cringe or my art was not the best in the past … I always loved to see people enjoy it. It killed me to ask people to give me money to draw for them. It’s just not me.

I allowed a online algorithm, and a few words from a small handful of people to make me second guess what I loved to do, I allowed money to make me decide what I should work on…I realized I secretly hated myself for it.

This new opportunity in my life is why I’m writing what I am today and it’s my own choices and it’s one I’m actually happy with.

Everything I draw will be free to view I’m going to build it up on Tapas and Tumblr just for the multiple image support plus they have better age restriction on there platforms because I’m a adult and do want to dabble in NSFW stuff.

The one animation I have on sale in my store I will be making it free to view. For the amazing person who did buy the pack I will be dming them so once my paycheck comes, they will be refunded.

And now for the big thing.

The next few months I will be saving my own money and working on Concept Art for the next few months along with working on comics because by next year I want to work and pay people to help me bring my comics to life as animated projects.

The first project will more then likely be Jackie’s Everyday Adventure because it has the least amount of characters and backgrounds and will dabble in the form of 3D animation. This will be a strictly animated series with some rewrites from the original comic version.

Homebrew… is honestly the biggest project since there is over 30 chapters and I’m not even halfway done writing scripts. I won’t Even considering working on animating that until at least chapter 10 is out.

Everything else will be explained over on Tumblr that will be where I blog about my projects since there’s not as tiny of a character limit on there. Thank you all for reading this and I will link the full update on Tumblr and I will share a link to it on here.”

And now here we are on Tumblr!

The only thing I will be keeping for any financial support will be Ko-fi but that’s only if people want to, I’m not going to have anything locked behind a pay wall.

Commissions will no longer be open because I will just be doing art trades or request. Since my new job is full time I don’t need to worry about the stress of not finishing something quickly.

Physical print books are still gonna be a thing however not for a long while. Since my old client liked my original books ill be printing a small handful of copies of them so I can give them to her to read at the nursing home. And leftover copies will be for contest prizes.

YouTube on the other hand… I’m going to be honest I’m not sure if I truly will bring back Pshattuckproductions. The most fun I have had with YouTube was building up lunar comics. I will honestly be focusing on that channel in terms of any uploads.

So far this is all for now. So see you soon everyone.

[a-dark-sanctuary]

Hey hey hey fic time

This was so fun to write I love using different formats I hope this is easy to read!!!

Hey @meme-boys-blog look!!!!

—————-

(Light snoring)

(Indistinguishable muttering)

[Dagda Appears]

(Rage.) “You-“

[Fingers snap, Pages flutter]

“Apologies, but we are not going to take any chances.”

(Struggling, muffled anger)

(Muttered) “Shame it had to come to this. Hold still, will you?”

[Pages rustle, nib pen scratches]

“There we are.”

[Pages flutter closed]

[Body collapses, movement]

(Seething) “Oh you are not getting away with that, Galla.”*

(Laughs quietly)

[Knuckles crack.]

(Grunt of exertion, halted abruptly)

“Wha-“

(More grunts, intensifying in anger.)

(Seething) “The fuck did you do to me?!”

“After your little stunt this evening, we thought it prudent to have some form of insurance.”

(Growls)

(Loathing) “Leave us, Dagda. Go back to your ward and stay until we finish what we came here for.”

[Dagda returns]

“Ah, such blessed silence. Good that Navarre stepped out.”

(Snaps fingers, Humming)

“Do not mind us, child. We shall return it in a moment.”

[Anger, Query; purpose?]

[Amusement, Command; Cease.]

[Rage, Anger, Hate.]

(Giggles)

(Muttered) “No wonder Orsinov had so much fun.”

[Sarcasm; Pity.]

————————

[Bitter, Query; Purpose?]

[Denied.]

[Suspicion]

> Hello user Dagda.

displayProperties ;OS/GodslayerCOMP/Music.app_

> You need administrator permission to access this file.

> Music.App; You’re going to have to be better than *that*. -Admin

[Annoyance]

message Admin fuck you_

> Error; attachment not recognized.

[Frustration]

message Admin “Fuckk *You*”_

> Message sent!

displayProperties ;OS/GodslayerCOMP/appdata/Music/Songs/

> DateCreated; DD/MM/20YY 22;34

> CreatedBy; Admin

> Note; Contains songs for Music App in mp3 format. You’re not going to get any info out of this either, High King. -Admin

[Anger]

Message Admin “What the hell are you doing”_

> Error; command not recognized.

[Rage, Frustration]

message Admin “what in th eHELL are you do ing”_

> Message sent!

—————————-

;OS/GodslayerCOMP/DemonSummoningProgram/_

execute shadowlock.exe_

> Enter password;

***********************_

> Enter passphrase;

忘れない いつまでも 決して until my life is exhausted._

[Bitter, Query; Purpose?]

> Welcome, Admin Kurokami.

> If you’re seeing this, this means I’m not able to come to your assistance. Sorry about that. -Burroughs

[Denied.]

IgnoreUser Dagda_

> This will prevent viewing of messages from user while you are logged in. You will still get notified when they send a message.

> Are you sure? y/n

y_

> Incoming message; Mido

> Good to see you again! Will you be transferring data like before?

message Mido “Gracious offer, but we have to decline.”_

> Message sent!

moveFile Music.app from ;K/ to ;OS/GodslayerCOMP/_

> Moving file Music.app...

> Incoming message; Mido

> Suit yourself. You should tell Nanashi to fill out his compendium more. Compared to Flynn it’s almost barren!

message Mido “Give the boy time. Not everyone can be so meticulous as him or us.”_

> Message sent!

> Incoming message; System

> File Music.app successfully moved from ;K/ to ;OS/GodslayerCOMP/

open ;OS/GodslayerCOMP/Music.app_

> Opening...

> File Music.app wants to make changes to your system. Allow? y/n

y_

> Music.app; Performing initial setup…

[Suspicion]

> Incoming message; Mido

> Ah, I remember my surprise upon seeing you as a new user. How long ago was that now?

> Incoming message from Music.app

> initial setup complete!

close ;OS/GodslayerCOMP/Music.app_

> Closing…

[Annoyance]

message Mido “Not long enough. The masquerade ended as soon as Lucifer set his eyes on us. ‘Sacrificing’ ourself against his little ‘test’ was the least we could do to save that Flynn.”_

> Message sent!

[Frustration]

> Message from ignored user Dagda blocked.

movefolder ;K/Selected_Songs/ to ;OS/GodslayerCOMP/appdata/Music/songs/_

> Found 8 files

> Moving files...

- City_of_Tears.mp3

- Daisy_Bell.mp3

- Hummingbird.mp3

- Its_Going_Down_Now.mp3

- Mass_Destruction_New.mp3

- No_More_What_Ifs.mp3

- Road_Less_Taken.mp3

- Were_Finally_Landing.mp3

> Incoming Message; Mido

> Of course. If you ever want to relive those moments, let me know.

message Mido “Will do.”_

> Message sent!

> Incoming message; System

> Files successfully moved from ;K/Selected_Songs to ;OS/GodslayerCOMP/appdata/Music/songs/

[Anger]

[Rage, Frustration]

> Message from ignored user Dagda blocked.

shadowlock.exe endsession_

> End session? y/n

y_

> Logging out...

> See you soon. -Burroughs

—————————————

“…Hey! You didn’t tell me you had a pair of earbuds…”

“Huh, Guess I did.”

(Smug)“…You jealous?”

“You gonna share?”

“Heheh, Finders keepers~”

(Huffs) “Fine, I’m gonna find my own and they’re gonna be so much cooler than yours!”

(Laughs)

———————-

Translation corner; *Bitch.

Used this site for the translation.

Coding stuff may be inaccurate, but that’s mostly because I’m used to another system. I have no doubt that the original Demon Summoning Program runs on some suped-up version of Linux or something, but I don’t wanna know how an entire operating system works for my silly little fic, so Windows OS it is.

Don’t ask who Orsinov is. You don’t wanna know.

local god of death has maybe the Worst Time trying to hack in weird transdimensional shadow’s ipod, more at 11

[percontaion-points]

19th Wife chapter 2, part 2

Click here for the rest of the series!

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

“I’m very sorry for doing that. I didn’t have a choice. I only hope you can understand that now.” “You don’t need to say anything else.” “You need to know it’s the only reason I would’ve done that to you.”

I think the only thing Jordan understands now is that his mother is nuttier than squirrel poo. Although in BeckyLynn’s defence… I think that these cults sometimes murder young boys. Maybe she thought that she was saving him from that? (Me being way nicer than I probably should be.)

It was also clear to me that she had no choice in the matter. Her opposition to polygamy had become her new faith, its abolition her salvation.

So that we’re all on the same page here… But people who grew up in a healthy environment, and then who went on to have healthy marriages… Do not wake up one day and decide to go on a crusade against their religious upbringing.

“As far as I can tell. Here, look at this, it just came in.” He waved a file folder. “It’s the ballistics report. Her latent prints showed up on the Big Boy. They found others, but they found a lot of hers.” “In other words, she’s in deep shit.” “Your words, not mine. But yes.” He came around from behind the desk to sit on the corner near me. “It’s pretty screwed up out there in Mesadale, isn’t it?”

As I said earlier, there’s probably a good case for justifiable homicide, and battered woman syndrome. But, if BeckyLynn refuses to accept the fact that years of abuse is what led to this… Then she’s not going to make a good victim.

“The Prophet made her do it.” “Your dad didn’t try to stop her?” “My dad. He was probably in the basement getting high.”

Yes, talking about how deranged that BeckyLynn is totally important to her mental health history. But also talking about how her husband was apparently too busy doing drugs is also important.

“I’m hoping to get her trial pushed out a bit. Give us some time to figure out what’s really going on out there. She didn’t kill him in a vacuum—that’s the only thing I do know for sure. This wasn’t a simple domestic dispute. I want to put the crime into some context. And meanwhile maybe the feds will finally get off their rear ends and do something about that so-called Prophet. As far as I’m concerned, it’s that cult that should be put on trial, not your mom. And that’s why I’m really glad you called. I could use your help.”

At least the lawyer seems competent enough.

A message from Heaven has told him he should possess 19 wives? A message from Heaven has told us we should possess a finer house, a larger income, and at least one day each year free from this esteemed publication, but those minor miracles have yet to transpire.

YES, THANK YOU!

As for Mrs. Young, Number 19, we most respectfully inquire: What did she expect?

Not mentioned is the fact that she grew up in this cult.

I was parked by the sign telling you how far to Mesadale, but buckshot had chewed it up so bad you couldn’t read it. Every time the sign went up the Prophet sent out an apostle to shoot it up. My dad did that once. I remember him boasting about it at breakfast. “Took out Satan’s marker,” he said, stuffing his mouth with fried ham.

Oh no, not those unholy mile markers!! Whatever will people do on this road that only goes in one fucking direction! However will people fucking find Mesadale?!

The guys who run the Mormon Church— those old dudes in out-of-date eyeglasses up in Salt Lake—they hate the Prophet almost as much as I do. They call him a heretic, a blasphemer, and a whole bunch of other things like rapist, pedophile, and tax cheat.

Pot, kettle, black. The only difference between the Mormon apostles and leaders of the FLSD is that at least the apostles try to hide that they still want Mormonism to be a polygamist religion. They don’t do a good job, but at least they’re TRYING.

Here’s something: I have no idea how many brothers and sisters I have. There isn’t a good way to count. There’s full, half, step, and foster. Who goes into the tally and who doesn’t?

This is why I’m having a hard time coming to terms with the idea that his father knew which wife BeckyLynn was. Like he can’t even keep track of his kids. And don’t tell me that he doesn’t view his wives as pussy he gets to fuck whenever he wants.

We slept in triple-decker bunks; or five to a bed, head to foot; or on the couch, four boys elbowing over three cushions; or on the living room floor, on blankets and pillows, twenty kids laid down like tiles. Shirts and sweaters in plastic garbage bins labeled by size. Shoes handed down. Tennis balls and kickballs stolen from one kid to the next. The only thing in that house that was all my own, that I never had to share with anyone, was a drawer in a dresser, twelve inches wide by fifteen inches deep. I measured it a million times. If you’re bad at math, that’s 1.25 square feet, which was really more than I needed because I didn’t have anything to keep inside.

Y’all need LESS Jesus, and more birth control.

Then I’ve heard a really good one: it’s actually hard to prove polygamy in court. Think about it: it’s not illegal for a man and a bunch of women to live together. And if the state doesn’t recognize the marriages, how can they be breaking the law?

I think that you’d have to be pretty touched in the head to believe that no funny business was going on in a place like this.

At the end of the day he’d file a report, lock up his firearm, and head home to a macaroni supper with his dozen lonesome wives.

Chapter 2 summary: We learn a bit more about Jordan Scott. He was kicked out from the cult at 14, and eventually made his way to California. He basically has one person in his life, Roland, and his dog, Electra. One day, he was at the library and happened to see the article about his mum online. Despite Roland advising against going back, Jordan dropped everything and went to go see her in prison. Despite the fact that his mother, BeckyLynn, had snapped, she’s still devoted to her husband, and God. She also swears up and down that she didn’t do it. She wants Jordan’s help to get her out of prison, but at the same time, refuses to acknowledge the hurt that she caused Jordan by not only bringing him into this cruel cult, but by listening to “God” aka the Prophet telling him to kick Jordan out of the commune. Then the narration is randomly interrupted by a random letter from Harriet Beecher Stowe about Elisa Ann Young. It started off with “I think Mormons are fine people who simply want to worship God in their own way”, but then quickly devolves into her talking about listening to Mrs. Young talk about the trials that she endured. That the things that happened to Mrs. Young are revolting, and it needs to be stopped. Back with Jordan, he goes to visit BeckyLynn’s lawyer, Mr. Heber. The lawyer is certain that not only did BeckyLynn do it, but that the death penalty is probably going onto the table for this. However, he’s also convinced that the feds need to get involved because this kind of stuff doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Jordan tells him about why he was kicked out, and the reason is basically that he held the hand of one of his sisters. That’s it. For the crime of daring to be close to his sister, he was kicked out. Mr. Heber says he doesn’t have time to listen to Jordan right now, but schedules him for a longer sit-down later. Then there’s a newspaper article about Mrs. Young. It’s basically slamming polygamy, and calling Mormonism a sham of a religion. But at the same time, also pointing and laughing at Mrs. Young for having gotten married to Brigham in the first place. As Jordan makes his way to his childhood home, he tells us more about the cult he grew up in. The general gist is that everybody is so poor, they barely have food, the clothes are threadbare… He isn’t even sure how many siblings he has, or what actually counts. When he gets to his childhood home, he’s greet by Rita telling him that since he was excommunicated, he needs to leave. That it’s “upsetting the children”. The children are watching from the windows, and he can imagine that some of them are begging to be taken away from this abuse. As he drives out of the town, he’s followed by a police officer until he crosses the boundary of Mesadale. This launches him into a story about how one of his sisters went to the local police to report being molested by her father… Only for the officer to pat her on the head and return her to her father. The police are all polygamists themselves, and only look out for the prophet.

Hire me to fix your book! Copyediting, proofreading, developmental editing, sarcastic editing, and more! 16 years of book-editing experience. Message me anywhere for pricing and further details.

[yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit]

Gremlin update November 26th 2024

[short for realzies this time]

9:00 am

I still dragged my ass out of bed before 6:30 and got the second stupid card and some more cat food for now. Only got 470 on the card because I saw the -perfect- all cotton plaid shirt and because I had been looking for that colour for months, I got it and didn't know exactly how much everything would be with tax and fees and hadn't thought to put extra money on my card before leaving. But whatever. I just need enough for cat supplies and honey over winter mostly, and if I decide to get those metal tool chests before spring, depending on how much downsizing I get through.

Whatever, Either way I am done for the year and washed up and tucked in and now I do whatever I need to until at least spring, like May or something, including being able to call people to pick up the stuff I need to get rid of that isn't garbage, such as donations or used electronics.

Hoping to have new apartment photos later this year so you can see the progress, the MIRACLE.

~*~

November 27th

1:40 pm

I slept a little after getting home, got up around 6 pm, stayed up long enough to eat something [and feed cat] and went back to sleep. Woke up this morning around 6 ish, got up long enough to eat something [and feed cat], got tired and went back to sleep, slept till 1 pm. It feels like cramming 3 days of sleep together, but also it's barely past noon the day after shopping.

I actually feel kind of rested now? That's very rare for me. Apparently I just need to sleep until I am having strange abstract dreams that slowly turn towards strange abstract dreams involving memories and it takes like at least 24 hours.

I did start on about half the dishes the last time I got up though. Both the times I have massively 'over slept' in the past week I have woken up to start cleaning up around the house. Starting to think my executive dysfunction gets way less bad when I am not suffering horrible fatigue? Go figure. One might even argue it's not 'over' sleeping.

I also instantly feel less 'depressed' even though the last dream I had made me sad.

Also I think being fully rested, eating chocolate and putting on music are all things that massively take the fuel out of the annoying intrusive thought voice I have been dealing with for... Since recovering from covid the first time. I think some of the neurological damage it caused made that problem exponentially worse in a real hurry. Also I think magnesium might help? And it might be because it is needed for your brain to make oxytocin? Have they studied the relationship between oxytocin levels and intrusive thoughts? Anyway...

I'm feeling better. I am also starting to feel how much I damaged my muscles between last week, and the two walks to walmart. I only really carried cream [3-4 of it] and a new cooking pot on the first trip, and a bit of cat food on the second trip, but I also walked there and back in the cold and none of my muscles like that at all. The shoulder injury is back full force. But I'll have months to recover now.

~*~

November 30th

I got my cheques and paid my bills and put 500$ back into savings, I won't quite have the other 500 until after I get the housing benefit and tax payments this month. But that's tucked in with everything, 1k to spend on whatever I need over winter and into the following year online, and then everything I had back in savings by end of December. The next 6 months will be saving up all my income after bills again.

For my birthday and x-mas, in addition to those 12$ of Cyan games a while back I got Forbidden west on sale, and 3 things from the dollarstore... And a few cotton plaid shirts [very spendy very bad I know]. My old plaid shirts are very worn out, both were second hand, one is faded to all fuck and the other is shaped for a skinny woman. It took me a while to find the colours I wanted, but I did and they're mine. One of them turns out to be a women's cut with no proper shoulder seams and I hate how it fits, but it will end up being patches when I wear through the others, eventually. Here's me going back to not buying any clothes, because by the time I wear through these shirts and the 2 pairs of jeans another 5-10 years will have given me time to sew my other clothes.

This past week was still supposed to be recovery week from the errands, and I did spend a good chunk of time sleeping a bunch extra, but I did also already do half my chores spaced around playing silly little nothing free games on steam.

Tempting to now dive into forbidden west or something and then sleep it off so I feel like I have had a mental vacation... But I want to maybe finish this load of laundry and clean my floor first?? Idk. Usually with a big aaa game like this I accidentally stay awake for 3 days to play it mostly through because of the amount of mental stimulation. I would not assume I'd default to that in my current state except my metabolism is fully going nuts and if I eat enough to not be sleepy all the time... I'm going to end up awake for a few days maybe, and maybe that's even what I need to do while my body rests, because I'm actually very burned out on sleeping almost 20 hours a day.

I still only have two modes: 1. Intentionally nerfed metabolism and hypersomnia OR 2. Actually had the nutrition my body wants and now have the metabolism of a 400 pound body builder and it's all going to my brain which won't sleep and needs something to chew on.

But whatever I do I can take December to play and take it easy and then get back to work.

~*~

January 3rd

eugh, so I immediately descended into symptoms again, as documented in other posts, and I have been in terrible pain for a month again. I played forbidden west because I needed something to do with my swollen sausage hands.

The main take away is I am very capable of developing a dangerous sodium deficiency very quickly by trying to avoid gout, if I listen to any guides that tell me to also avoid salt. I do not eat enough processed foods to accidentally dodge that. 3/4-2 teaspoon of salt per day minimum, especially while hydrating that much.

The excess fluid retention from that problem is past. I think the excess uric acid causing the gout is gone and quite possibly any excess of all else. The problem is there's still a bunch of joint damage. It's even gotten to the point where advil isn't helping much because most of the problem isn't even swelling, inherently, I think it's actually just damage that needs to heal and it is taking annoying amounts of time.

I'm tired of being in pain I want to move on with my life.

January 19th

4:40 am

About to go back to bed. Still muddling through managing my symptoms.

Yesterday I decided that sitting around with full body swelling in an apartment slowly filling with allergy triggers all day wasn't going to help me. Started taking 3 normal dose advil at a time and discovered that if I do that twice early-ish in the day, the swelling goes down and stays down all day, didn't come back until bedtime, and another dose then kept it down most while I was sleeping too. 9 advil a day is technically more than advised, but I used to take for more for migraines, and my kidneys still seem to be processing everything I give them. Maybe if I can talk my body out of this endless cycle of swelling, that will actually improve something.

I did finally get cleaning done though, being restless and having the swelling down. Yesterday I cleared off almost all the floors and dealt with a bunch of garbage and recycling, after doing about half the dishes early that morning or the night before, including cleaning up the entryway and a lot of sweeping. This morning I cleaned the toilet, the area around the toilet, started a load of laundry [there might be a second by now] cleaned around he sink in the bathroom and got the shower stall 50% clean. After today my apartment should at least be clean for me to sit in trying to recover.

I did find out the one kind of corn cat litter I can order to my door turns out to be pine scented... so I guess we'll see if anything comes of that because I already have 2 bags.

I have 2 areas left to sweep, the dishes to finish and the floor to wash, but then we're good and I can focus on getting on top of symptoms and getting on the ass of the credit card company to try to get my money back.

~*~

January 29th

So I forgot about this again and have been making separate updates. Had the new building managers "give 24h notice" by quietly sticking a note to the neighbours door and walking away, to show up and inspect the fire alarms.

The place was messy of course because I have barely been able to move. Got notice the next day of "we just need to do a general inspection of all the units :)" like sure. And I am sure nothing prompted that.

Of course I pushed myself to clean everything. They came back to it spotless. But the guy said he had a problem with how much stuff I have because he thinks there should be 4 feet of clearance around everything or he'd "hate to see a fire inspection or an actual fire happen" and started telling me how any fire marshal he knew would mandate I be displaced to a hotel room while someone came to throw out all my stuff "because it's unsafe" ... Because I have 2 feet of clearance around everything and my dresser sticks out too close to the bathroom doorway. I literally had to stop downsizing and reorganizing only long enough to do fall groceries and recover from two extreme health episodes, and I told him he's looking at the aftermath of moving from a whole house into this tiny place and being too sick to have downsized any faster, but he just kept re-iterating how unsafe he felt it was, not matter how much I assured him that none of it was staying like this and I was already on it, and already understood.

It's like he thought I was saying it would be like that for a year until I got around to it. Like no buddy, the ONLY reason I stopped there was because I was actually dying a little, and I'm going to get right back on it once my bones aren't as fragile.

But whatever, I spent the last week downsizing by another 8+ totes and rearranging everything I own. My kidneys seem fine now. My muscles want me dead for my crimes.

I just have to do minor reorganizing and then move the furniture all back by about 2 feet. There will be so much fucking clearance.

... And then I get to recover and then rest right? This time for real right?

THIS TIME FOR REAL RIGHT?

On the bright side, As far as stopping points go this one will be good. There will be lots of room to manouvre, access to all the totes for continued downsizing and organizing, two of the ones on top are paint and office supplies that can be organized into my filing cabinet and office. Two more are wood for fixing up the dresser and book cases [so they can go away once I knock those off], and another 2 are tools that can be organized into my tool box, and a tool cabinet when I get one, or the green chest when I get it out from under the book cases. There's 4 totes of clothes and fabric for making my new clothes, and 3 totes of general crafting supplies at the bottom, One of mixed lights and lamps and such, and that's it.

I have emptied over 16 totes since moving in.

BY the time I'm done my wardrobe and fabric stash will all fit in my dresser and on the clothes rack with room to spare. The spare office stuff will fit in my filing cabinet. The tools will have a home. All spare storage will fit behind other furniture under the bunk bed, and the bunk bed will be set squarely on the floor because I'll be able to move my desk over another 5 inches or so. I'll be putting my dining table on leg extensions with wheels so it can fit over my box freezers and provide a standing height work surface that wheels back out of the way for food prep. I will be well on my way by spring.

I. Just. Need. To. Rest.

I just need people to stop piling timed demands on me long enough to fully fucking recover and actually catch a fucking break.

I'll take one more day of organizing, go through the electronics bin and have someone come pick up a batch of electronics, get the garbage out on garbage day, get my deliveries later Friday, and be ready to e-mail him by the weekend that it's handled.

Also it turns out one of my 500$ credit cards didn't work, and I remember the cashier switching it out with the one I was putting back at the time but I didn't process what was happening in the store. She then proceeded to be really cunty at me. I said I'd be back for the other one the next day because I -apparently- still have the daily limit -that they keep telling me is gone- and she -very smarmy, very cunty- is all "oh sure come back in an hour when your limit has lifted :)" like she was having some kind of joke [we all know there's no such thing as an hourly limit, like that would be the most face-saving bullshit excuse, like what are you trying to paint me as? "one of those" poors that feels this bruised-ego-ass need to hold themselves like a 'temporarily embarrassed' rich person? Like no, my bank keeps TELLING me my daily limit has been made 5k instead of 1k so I couldn't buy 2 500$credit cards for over-winter on top of also doing groceries because it's still 1k, apparently, and whatever you think of me that doesn't give you the right to rip me off like you think you're teaching me something???], switched the card she had scanned and handed to me out for the one I was putting back saying "oops here :)" and continued to be cunty while rushing me out of the lane. Anyway, I called the company they took the full fucking month to investigate GRILLED me for personal information and pictures of everything, multiple times, like I am the one who'd done something wrong, but finally decided to activate the card I have for 500$ without telling me what the mistake was. So if the lady got in trouble, or not, I genuinely won't know unless she approaches me about it at random in a walmart come spring.

My good bitch, we steal from corporations, not individuals who are clearly disabled, who are trying to stock up for winter before x-mas.

I had been concerned I'd be forced out of hibernation for eggs and cat food [I know, I had 60 eggs, I ated them all okay?]... Exposing me to post-holiday levels of virus. But that's been resolved now with no further fighting.

For the record, in case anyone thinks it's overkill, finishing the winter shopping so far has left me with 189$ unspent for the rest of winter that will likely be spent on medications [not even a tool cabinet]. But everything I have been getting in the meantime not spent on rent and bills has been going back to savings.

So you know, on the bright side, come this weekend I should be set up to actually rest for a while with nothing hanging over my head, right??? [and a new 60 eggs]

I mean I also need to pay my bills soon and do my stupid taxes, but like, whatever.

Then this list:

Glue the one drawer from the dresser that pulled apart [because 1-2 drawers were never glued by me to begin with because they *seemed* to be holding in one piece too well] & put the pulls on it

Get the electronics tote organized and downsized

Call the electronics disposal service

Get the things I am giving away gone and out of the apartment [2 donation bags and maybe some kitchen stuff]

make ramp [for spring, haha, late, next spring!]

Re-upholster arm chair

remake cat stand into cat stand/window bench

remake plant rack

shelf over sink

Re-downsize 'out' stack of totes [gone!]

[izylife]

How to organize your finances for long-term stability

Financial stability long-term is a dream that some people have the privilege of enjoying. However, you can be a part of the few who enjoy a stable financial life free from daily struggles and insecurities.This doesn't come without work however, whether or not you are willing to do all that is necessary to enjoy this benefit probably would make the difference for you in the not-so-distant future.

So without much ado, or the intention to build up any unnecessary suspense… Here are my tips Organizing Your Finances For Long-term Stability.

Make sure to let your resources overlap

A lot of people have a mindset of eating today and letting tomorrow worry about itself. Even though that may be good in some sense- the idea to live in the moment free from anxiety about the future, going too far with that path will lead to an unpleasant destination. Making sure your salary/wages or income of any sort overlap would prevent the risk of a financial starvation and debt. This way you train your mind on constantly having, even though it may not be much.

This thought pattern is better than having and starving, and having and starving and all the effects that starving does to your kind psychologically- the stress, anxiety, panic, etc.

You can do this by stretching your income to go across by a week or at least a few days after when you are sure the next income arrives. This is best for individuals/families with regular and predictable income.

Savings is for the weak, live life

I almost fell into that particular school of thought. Quick story

I've been working online remotely for a while. During this period I earned about six figures monthly for three consecutive months (prior to that, I've still been earning, only not that much, that regularly). I am an avid saver, I truly believe in it and I've been able to save up a lot. I’ve been able to sponsor myself partly through school and even sending money back home to my family on several occasions, at some point placing my parents on regular stipends.

Also, I covered some household bills and even sent money to my siblings, then it happened..I got robbed one morning. It was sometime around 2am and I heard a loud bang. I heard pleading and panic, and as soon as I peeped through my window, I saw men with flash lights …Ok, I know the story is getting a bit long, Anyways if you are interested in the story, I will share it and what I ok learnt from in in another Article.

To my main reason for sharing this story, I got robbed, I lost my gadget, and as such I couldn't go online to work. I borrowed a small phone I was using to get in contact with my family and close friends. You see, the thing is I wasn't worried, I had 6 figures in savings. I just had to block my account for a while to avoid scammers accessing my accounts. Now here's the crazy thing.

When I got a new device, I found out that the company I worked for remotely announced that they are discontinuing the segment I worked for and the last pay would be for the work for the current month.

I was perplexed, but I finally came to terms with it. My savings was spent in about a month or two. I had bills pending that I had to address, like my school fees, my rent and getting a new device (a better one).

After a couple months searching, but still out of work. I felt a wave of regret. I've been benevolently giving to friends (as regards giving to family, no regrets on that, I love doing that), I didn't for once take myself out or even got myself anything nice, until I was robbed and got myself a device upgrade. This regret went on for quite a while until Iit dawned on me that I probably wouldn't have been able to settle pending bills if I hadn't saved up. It may have led to being stranded or maybe even debt- I hate debt.

My regrets slowly turned into gratitude that I actually saved. Yeah I know, this contradicts the subheading.

There's no good in debt

As you may have noticed already, I hate debt. I see no good in it, except you are one of those millionaires that are using debt as a way to avoid taxes and all of that. I personally don't understand the concept or how it works (feel free to give me a short explanation in the comments section).

All the same I don't think it is would work for a person working an average 9 to 5 job- which is a majority of the population. Debt is chains and captivity. If debt was so brilliant why do governments panic about its effects on its economy, why don't countries brilliantly use it to their advantage, why is there a whole discussion on how China and the US are using it as a method of enslaving African Countries? A lot about its brilliancy doesn't add up.

Debt is not good and it grows, a financial Cancer of some sort. If you have a business and even in your finances, do well to avoid debt. Conclusion Letting your income overlap, saving and avoiding debts are some of the points I have for now. I know, investing is not in this article, I'll do an in-depth dive into investing, I'm actually working on it, so it will be available soon.

Anyways, with these steps or better-still, ‘lifestyle’ duly followed, you will be on your way into ‘stable financial longevity’ in no distant time. Did we miss anything? Feel free to add it in the comments section, we read and answer all comments.

Thanks for the read, please do well to follow me and don't hesitate to support in anyway you can.

[coolcoelacanth]

i wrote a long diary entry basically about my cat findings and financial life so i will put under the read more if you are interested in the tea LOL

update on my cat again: luckily the gabapentin made her sedated enough so they could take the chest x-rays w/out having to fully sedate her. bad but expected news, she has patchy lung infiltrates in both lungs, and her bronchioles were opaque. this means there is definitely irritation/inflammation in her lungs. i was hoping it would just be a pulmonary issue, since the vet said her heart murmur sounded quieter while she was on the gabapentin (possibly indicating a stress murmur), but we did a proBNP test and the results were abnormal :/. it didn't say low-high which is kind of annoying (esp considering how much i'm paying...), but that means i have to do the echocardiogram now to finally see if there is something wrong w/ her heart/what it is. if there is something wrong w/ her heart, the coughing and the lung x-ray could indicate pulmonary edema (fluid in the lungs due to all the blood in the left ventricle not being expelled to the body, causing regurgitation into the lungs).

i am praying that the echo is normal and she simply has like bronchitis from allergies, or asthma or something with a better prognosis than a heart condition. i'm also going to be 1.2k in the hole after all this testing, but i'm already in a massive amount of debt from going to pharmacy school so i figured why the fuck not who cares lmao just tack it on. plus it's better to figure it out now than to wait until she's in terrible condition and on her deathbed. and i will have some sort of salary after this final year of pharmacy school, so i don't have to make it too much longer. (either a salary from doing a residency or if i'm desperate, signing onto walgreens or some shit and hating my life). but i also have to pay a ridiculous amount of money to even take the naplex (pharmacy board exam basically), and i have to pay to take the MPJE (NYS law exam for pharmacists). i'm pretty sure the total will be like $700, and. that's if i pass the first time....and my tuition is crazy high, and the last year i'm literally not even in the classroom bc we just do straight rotations onsite for the last year WHICH WE ARE NOT PAID FOR.

i'm tired of getting boned economically by my stupid ass school. i'm not so upset about the vet bills tbh, for some reason i literally don't care. i have enough savings (although most of them are from my graduate plus loan to pay form my rent LOL RIP) and i can always TAKE OUT ANOTHER LOAN if i need more money for rent or something, so i at least i'm fortunate enough to have that option. i am just so ready to be free from all this bullshit and have an actual goddamn income. i'm going to treat mirabel anyway, but now i'm worried how much treatment is going to cost, i only had my mind on the tests we had to do. and i really really really hope it's something curable/manageable and NOT a congenital heart disease. or if it is heart disease, it's not severe. i did have hope from the chest x-ray, b/c the vet said that her heart did not appear abnormally large or shaped, and i read that a positive proBNP test can also indicate other stressors like bronchitis so it's not a guarantee that it's her heart.

also it's literally just my luck that i pick out the congenitally sick cat from the shelter. i love her and she's my bff at this point, but it's like yeah that's about right for my track record. they didn't even mention a heart murmur on her vet notes from the shelter, which i'm confused about. did they just not write it down, or did they straight up not hear anything? b/c the vet said it was grade 3/4 which means its pretty goddamn loud. i'm like, did i get lowkey scammed by the shelter? i mean i love mirabel, but idk seems a little shady to me. but i am at least glad that i chose a good paying career so this is all (hopefully) a temporary issue, which a lot of people do not have that saving grace.

sorry i literally just wrote like a diary entry i did not plan on writing this much LMAO. if you actually read this, bless you. if you didn't, that's okay i'm fine w this being my echo chamber.

[fruggo]

the boys x tough f!reader (part 2)

requested by : @dranonymous

i love this idea and i hope you all enjoy part two! :D here’s part 1 with the original request.

warnings: swearing, canon-typical violence, dwight is really cute, danny is an asshole, jake is that cute “stoic man who is actually caring and thoughtful” trope because i say so

𝐃𝐖𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐅𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐃

you are so cool. like ,,,,,so cool

dwight admires you so much. you just got here and yet you are breaking pyramid head’s ankles—dodging his trail of torment left and right, the killer just can’t touch you.

and how did you feel about everything? terrified, honestly, but nobody would ever be able to tell because you didn’t let it get to you. it was like you had already been here before, because the second you learned how to do something, you had it down no problem. fixing generators came naturally, and you could also run the killer for the whole trial if you had to. teammates could easily rely on you to do whatever needed to be done.

that was what made you and dwight such a powerful duo. from the moment you met, you knew you felt comfortable around this guy. he was sweet, maybe a little timid sometimes, but he knew how to step up and be a leader for everyone despite his fears.

you both knew what to do, and you fit together like a glove. your minds worked in very similar ways, which made communicating that much easier and efficient; the second a decision needed to be made, dwight was on top of it, encouraging the teammates and helping them get on their feet. you were already ahead of them, so dwight would just nod to you, knowing you could do your job well.

of course, there were times when dwight’s anxiety got the better of him, and you had to be the one encouraging him.

dwight hated the hag. despised her. he could not stand her jumpscares when a trap was triggered, he would swear he was about to have a heart attack. he couldn’t admit this at first, but you figured it out when feng min was hooked and dwight stuck to the generator, nervously glancing over his shoulder every few seconds. he always went for the saves, so something was obviously wrong.

“dwight? why don’t you go save her?” you asked, eyeing him from your side of the generator.

he didn’t respond, looking over his shoulder again.

you decided to rescue min, but when you got back, you were going to chew dwight out until he gave you a straight answer.

you crawled up to the hook to avoid triggering a trap and gently lowered min to the ground. the two of you inched away carefully until you were far enough away to patch her wound.

“dwight, get off your ass and answer me,” you demanded (affectionately) once you were back at the generator, which was nearly finished. “what’s wrong?”

his eyes conveyed nervousness in every sense of the word; they darted all around, searching for any incoming danger. this was your first time seeing him like this, so you were confused. was he alright?

“it’s just…the hag,” he started, still fiddling with the wires. “her traps, i can’t…”

oh. was he anxious about the traps?

“i just can’t deal with them,” he finally said with difficulty. that was understandable; when they caught you off guard it definitely made you leap out of your skin.

“dwight, listen,” you said. “you’ve dealt with every other killer in this realm, haven’t you? you’ve bested the nurse, the huntress, micky myers, and even the spirit, who’s a bitch. i know hag’s traps are fucking terrifying, but you’re dwight! you are a leader, and you are good at being a leader. you can get out of here, i promise. and besides, with me here, you have nothing to worry about. i’ll kick that witch’s ass, got it?”

your very inspirational speech got him to smile. you were right, anyways—you could definitely kick the hag’s ass. what could go wrong?

nothing, actually. genuinely nothing went wrong. you took chase for the rest of the trial so that dwight didn’t have to worry about a thing, and everybody escaped with no problem. he didn’t understand how you were so good at evading capture—but perhaps you would tell him about your past eventually. you hadn’t yet decided.

back at the campfire, you and dwight comfortably sat side-by-side, patiently waiting until your next trials.

“thanks,” he said.

“for what?”

“for that very motivational speech you gave me,” he laughed.

you wiped imaginary dust off of your shoulder, giving him a confident smile. “i got your back. and man, that hag lady really is a bitch, huh? i can see why you hate her.”

that comment unintentionally caused one of dwight’s long, angry rants about his least favorite killer, and all you could do was watch him and listen with a soft grin on your lips. you’d never seen him angry before—it was adorable. made you wonder if you should just piss him off for fun sometimes.

𝐉𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐊

this guy has hella respect for you

you’re independent and easy to teach, and that’s everything he could ask for.

now and then, the other survivors basically gave newbies to jake to teach them everything about the realm—they considered him the expert on all things survival. you were one of those newbies he was forced to take care of.

jake normally hated teaching new survivors more than anything, because it was never his choice and they were all so difficult. but you were different. you were responsible, reliable, and smart, and it made his job so much easier. as time went on, he grew to be quite fond of you.

word eventually got out that the new girl had managed to charm jake out of his “hermit ways,” but he insisted that it was not true (he also disagreed about the “hermit ways” part). it was never spoken of between the two of you, but it definitely floated around in the air waiting to be addressed.

it really couldn’t be ignored any longer. anytime you were seen anywhere within 24 feet of each other, the other survivors would give you looks and wiggle their eyebrows or shoot you a thumbs up—all of which were unwanted. it created a weird tension between you and jake that wasn’t there before, and you really didn’t like it.

you missed when you were first starting out, and jake had just realized how competent you are. those days were fun—he respected you a lot; you could see it in his face when he looked at you. you always knew when he was pleased and when you did stuff right, because he would have the tiniest, most subtle grin on his face, but you could see it, and it made you feel accomplished.

you knew he still respected you, but you had basically jumped the learning curve of the realm and quickly adapted to every killer, every challenge, and every task. how you did it, nobody could ever know. but you were almost sad, because there was kind of no reason for you and jake to spend a lot of time together anymore. if you did, then everybody would freak out for the wrong reasons, and it would ruin your friendship.

so what if you had a few small feelings for him? no one gave a shit—you knew jake probably wouldn’t give a shit. to him, you were just another annoying survivor he was forced to teach. besides, you didn’t have time for that kind of thing.

man, were you wrong, though. he really, really wanted to be around you, but you already knew everything, so he didn’t know what to do to spend time with you. his way of initial bonding was sharing knowledge, but that had already been done, so…what now?

then came the one trial that changed everything.

it was normal at first. the killer, blight, was doing well, so you had to step up your game. one generator was completed and he had 4 hooks on three different people—you were the only one not hooked yet.

he was after you, and you were expertly dodging every rush and swing he threw your way. unfortunately, you accidentally ran to the generator that jake was working on, and things got a little complicated.

when the blight rushed at the wall, then at you, jake ran towards you while you ran towards him—you were both looking over your shoulders—and alas, bonk. you crashed into each other.

oh, no!! how terrible!! looks like jake fell on top of you :/ what an unfortunate situation to be in /s /s /s /s /s

wowwww near proximity ! you’d never been so close before and it was awkward but nice (?)

then you remembered there was a crazy drug addict or whatever over there and he was chasing you, and the moment was ruined. jake quickly rose and pulled you up with him, and you went in opposite directions, both nervous and wide-eyed now.

lol

after that, the trial went quite south. everybody was sacrificed. perhaps the loss could be partly attributed to you and jake avoiding each other like the plague. but who knows, right?

back at the campfire, you began feeling overwhelmed by all the weird stuff happening lately, so you excused yourself to the edge of the woods to have some quiet time to yourself. a few minutes later, jake came to check on you bc he is a fucking gentleman and yes i will die for the “stoic man who is actually caring and thoughtful” trope. fuck you

it’s slightly awkward at first, but then you start talking like normal and things feel a lot better. a little bit of the tension eases away, but not completely. what the fuck do you do with feelings like this?????

you simply composed yourself as best you could. it would have to do.

now that you felt a little more normal (lie), you trekked back to the campfire to wait for your next trials side-by-side. there was no one you felt more comfortable with or more respected by than jake. he appreciated you for your competency, and that was one of the best things you could ask for.

and to your surprise, jake actually took your hand and laced your fingers with his own. and it felt nice. never in your existence would you have thought he would be okay with displaying public affection, but you smiled up at him and gave his hand a light squeeze.

maybe the entity gave him drugs.

or he just liked you that much. either one would make sense.

𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐍𝐘 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍𝐒𝐎𝐍

danny hated you. he really did.

you were so unbothered, so calm, so good at knowing what to do. it really pissed him off.

you got so much attention from the other survivors for your skill and that really pissed him off too. it’s not like you cared or wanted it or anything, but how dare they even touch you when you so clearly belonged to danny?

…who knows wtf that even means. so anyways-

when you realized how much time danny spent chasing you in trials when he should have been patrolling generators, you began to get suspicious. especially when he would take you to the hatch and then close it in your face, watching you die to the entity. he obviously had some kind of beef with you.

you were determined to find out what he had against you, so you began to tease him a bit in chases. your favorite and most frequent phrase was something like, "can't catch me? lil baby man? lil baby? lil baby man gonna cry?" you were really testing your luck with that one, and that's why you loved it.

once, you told him his fly was down, and he actually fell for it, making you nearly keel over in laughter. you got moried without even being hooked after that.

despite the horrors that frequented this place, you were never in a crisis about it. you simply learned what had to be done, and then you did it, much to the chagrin of danny. you had skipped the big "useless baby survivor" phase, and that one was his favorite :( he loved trials with new survivors because it was so easy and fun!

but alas, from the beginning, you were always on top of things, always slamming pallets onto his head or saving teammates with a flashlight.

oh, don't even get him started on your flashlight usage. you were the absolute worst to go against--every pallet stun, boom: danny's eyes fucking burned out. every time he picks up a survivor, boom: danny's eyes fucking burned out. you were a bitch with that item.

he finally began to get so fed up with your behavior that he decided you must be taught a lesson. somehow, countless mori and tunneling and camping incidents had not even managed to bother you. you literally did not care. but he had something different in mind this time.

the realm was haddonfield, of course. all of the killers despised this map, and for good reason--you ran danny around the entire neighborhood for three generators. did he have to chase you? no. but he needed to for himself.

he finally caught you in a dead zone, rejoicing to himself as you fell to the ground in defeat. "wow, that was a good chase," you mumbled under your breath, feeling accomplished. one of your best against danny, probably.

you were expecting him to pick you up, but instead he snatched the flashlight from your grasp and chucked it as far away as he could. and before you could protest, he pulled you up to stand again and yanked you towards himself, gripping your wrists so tightly you swore it left bruises.

"what's wrong...lil baby man?" you said with a pout, trying not to laugh. "is baby man angry?"

you were slightly scared if you were being honest, but you couldn't let him know that.

danny sighed. you really didn't know when to stop, did you?

"bitch," he spat, voice dangerously quiet. "cut that shit out."

"what shit?"

he squeezed your arms tighter, provoking an "okay, okay, i get it!" from you.

"do you?"

"sure. what's the worst you could possibly do to me anyways?" after those words left your mouth, you got a weird feeling that the killer was smiling behind his mask.

"listen, uhh, danny, is it?" you said, putting as much nonchalance into your voice as you could. "i just wanna know why you hate me so much. remember that time you closed the hatch in my face? the fuck was that for?"

he frowned at the use of his name but responded regardless, "you're a little bitch, and you deserved that."

you gasped dramatically, feigning offense. "ouch. that one hurt."

"i can make you hurt a lot more," he said darkly. you probably should have been scared, but you just really couldn't take him seriously.

so you laughed. it shouldn't have been funny, but it just was and now you couldn't stop. "you're just--you--i can't--" you wheezed, shaking from the laughter. "i'm sorry, it's really not funny."

danny didn't understand you. anybody else would have been sobbing if he so much as touched them, and here you were acting like it was a joke.

what could he do if you truly were not afraid of him?

perhaps it was time to let it go.

while his guard was down, suddenly you reached above his head and plucked his mask off, revealing his face and continuing your bouts of laughter at his shocked expression.

you threw the mask in the same direction as the flashlight, composing yourself and putting your hands on your hips. "you look pretty nice," you said, nodding.

wow. what the hell was danny supposed to do with you? perhaps the only completely unbothered, completely unserious survivor? he knew you were smart, and you knew what you were doing. he didn't even want to kill you anymore, you were just that fascinating.

that trial ended in you standing at the exit gate, your finger and your thumb in the shape of an L on your forehead. danny couldn’t care less at this point--he was done with your shit. but somehow he still liked you, and this definitely would not be the last time you saw him without his mask.

[weabooweedwitch]

are you gonna ask your friend to be your bf 🥺

I've thought about it 👉👈 but I don't think it's realistically a good time for me, or for either of us really, since he's working really hard towards school and he already told me his current goal is going to take the next 5 years? I feel so all over the place and... not put together. I'm getting a start on adulthood pretty late and i dont have a lot to show for myself, no savings and no inspiration for a career, and i still have to get my GED. I'm really struggling a lot with procrastination and impulse control, for multiple things like eating and shopping. I'm kind of sitting around a lot and not getting a lot done; i hate how I've been spending most of my free time.

I guess I would want to really better myself and improve a lot first? But I've thought of bringing it up to him, like maybe when we see each other again 👉👈 but the thing is, is, I feel like, unless he felt really strongly about it, about us, I feel like it would be really unfair to, basically ask him to wait for me, because right now neither of us are really where we want to be in life and I'm not as self sufficient as I'd like. I feel like I'd be cutting him off from other people and other possible partners that might make him more happy while I'm trying to become worthy of him (in my eyes)

I also have to consider "is it him, or just his male approval and he's the first man to give me attention like this" but there really is a lot about him I like, i feel like he inspires me to be a better person, but I also recognize I've never really dealt with this stuff so my heart is easily swayed, and there's still a lot we don't know about each other. So I dunno. I've been thinking a lot and I'm getting older and I have to decide what I want to do with my life and the people I want to keep in it.

I guess if I were to ask him, I'd at least want to have some things going for me first. I was thinking just today of how i should be trying to take the next step forward in my life and what I'd like to do is, file my tax return and put the entire thing in a new savings account and let that collect interest, have passive income from that, and I'd actually like to get a credit card to start building my credit? I keep trying to put off things to do it all in one big purchase when I could be making credit card payments? Like I've been wanting a new computer for years and there are a lot of personal goals and things that would require one and it would be more realistic if I try to make credit card payments instead of trying to save up one lump sum, but I would also have to make sure to not overwhelm myself with that, which is why I don't have one already

Gjfmfjgk long answer is long but, I think for now I just want to focus on trying to better myself, because right now I feel like if I entered a relationship, we couldn't be equals because of where I'm at and what I can and can't do. But maybe I'll shoot the shit with him and say something dumb and cheesy like in the medias where one person turns to another and says "hey, if we're still single in the next 5 years, wanna get together?" 👉👈