#having the context for some of ds behavior

[insufferablemod]

thinking about john n davesprite n dave what happens when he finds out its not just a bird dave thing but a dave thing..... the idea hes built up of The Real Dave comes crashing down

like things were def made worse by being stuck together for 3 years with noone else n all of the extra issues davesprite has On top of all the normal dave bs but like, fuuuckkkkkkk

[petite-guignol]

bringing this over from twitter because nobody is reading twitter anymore lmfao and i figure the long version is more likely to be interesting to people here

(the OP is responding to some film account's description of something in an upcoming Avatar movie, not that it really matters but that's the context in case anyone was curious)

putting this under a cut because, as is apparently customary for me, the long version is like. really long.

the elemental theming for different nations in FF4 is not very strong and we do not see much of Damcyan anyway but i do think it has a pretty interesting angle on what a "fire kingdom" looks like

the crystals mostly serve as a metaphor for stewardship of the land and the people on it. the earth crystal in Troia is probably the most on the nose about it but that's kind of my read on the whole deal. various fantasy settings, particularly video games, have had different variations of what a "fire landscape" looks like, and a lot of times its inhospitable. (FF5 always makes me laugh here because Karnak, the fire crystal city in that game, just has literal open flames straight up raging in the streets, presumably all the time. the people there are actually distressed when the fires go out. but i digress) Damcyan is a desert, which is kind of a harsh environment comparatively but both naturally occurring and perfectly habitable, a place one ought to care for and not just a big empty wasteland.

Besides being situated in the middle of a hot, bright environment there's a vague aesthetic connection to fire. edward dresses in bright red and gold, with anna in a yellow dress and sometimes bright red hair. the DS version puts sunbursts on the castle walls and a lit candle on their flag, and maybe this is just me overthinking it (this whole thing is tbh) but the SFC version of Damcyan castle features these weird clusters of extremely tall towers that almost resemble smoke stacks or something. at any rate Damcyan is at least slightly more clearly "fire themed" than Fabul is "air themed", for example.

the elemental connection is again mainly metaphorical, in the associations people have made with the classical elements. water is knowledge, air is discipline, earth is abundance, and so on, which means Damcyan is indeed supposed to have the figurative qualities of fire

which are...

well, again we don't see much of Damcyan. in-game, their prince is a bard (and in the DS version they also have a lyre on their flag). they have soldiers but are clearly not intended to be read as militaristic in any way. the castle has a dungeon, which is full of treasure chests largely containing hats. it has the first healing pots you'll come across in the game. it's the only country on the surface besides Baron that seems to have anything approaching modern tech, and its a civilian vehicle that helps you get across the desert. the area's signature boss monster produces a healing item and is supposed to be docile despite its terrifying appearance.

Edward himself is primarily known for his beautiful voice and is a healer, mechanically speaking. the first thing we learn about him is that he eloped with his lover against her father's wishes, and while the game on its own doesn't really give any context for his apparent habit of wandering around in disguise, it's very easy to read his behavior as impulsive. he's extremely emotional, to the extent that it actually bleeds into the battle system. so he's "fiery", in a sense -- seemingly always in the throes of some volatile emotion or other -- but in a way that's essentially the opposite of aggressive

the primary quality of fire here, i think, is compassion -- warmth and light, music and love and healing. it's a harsh world out there, but here in the firelight even the monsters are tame

plus, a little bit of "hey, can't you use fire to do metal smithing? what about a combustion engine? wouldn't that make you like, fabulously wealthy?" thrown in there for spice i guess

(actually, if you want to combine poet-kings, the vague tech-y overtones of the place -- including Edward functioning as a sort of proto-Chemist -- and the guidebook stuff about Damcyan having gotten extremely rich off trading and idk Rubicante, you could probably make a good argument that "fire" also serves as a general emblem for "civilization," but that's neither here nor there and this post is already long as fuck)

[npzlawyersforimmigration]

Navigating U.S. Visa Challenges: What Employers and Applicants Need to Know in 2025

The U.S. visa landscape is undergoing significant changes. Applicants and employers accustomed to a relatively predictable system are now facing longer wait times, increased security checks, and more unpredictable outcomes. Whether it’s administrative processing, social media screening, or unexpected visa revocations, the stakes have risen—making preparation more important than ever.

Administrative Processing: A New Reality, Not a Rare Occurrence

Delays after visa interviews, often referred to as “administrative processing,” are becoming more common. This process involves multi-agency security reviews and can take weeks—or even months—with little or no communication from the consulate. For some, this phase ends in a visa denial with little explanation, making transparency and case monitoring essential for legal teams and employers alike.

Social Media Now Plays a Bigger Role in Visa Vetting

The U.S. government now routinely collects social media identifiers as part of the visa application process. Posts, comments, or associations on public platforms may be reviewed and could influence the outcome. Visa applicants—especially students or young professionals—should be mindful of what they post and how it may be interpreted in the context of immigration law.

Spotlight on Student Visas and SEVIS Records

In recent months, there has been an uptick in F-1 student visa revocations and terminations of SEVIS records—some reportedly linked to social media activity or allegations of behavior “inconsistent with U.S. interests.” These actions have occurred without advance notice, leading to serious implications for students, schools, and employers relying on post-graduation OPT talent. In some cases, affected students have succeeded in reversing terminations, but the uncertainty remains.

Who Is Most Likely to Face Extra Scrutiny?

Applicants from certain countries, those with experience in sensitive academic or professional fields (such as cybersecurity or defense technology), and individuals with prior visa refusals are more likely to face extended review. Even small inconsistencies in documentation can trigger additional checks, so ensuring the accuracy and completeness of all application materials is crucial.

Tips for Employers and Applicants Moving Forward

Prepare applicants in advance: Review documentation, DS-160 entries, and social media profiles.

Track applications closely: Use CEAC to monitor case status and be alert for requests for additional information.

Respond strategically to visa denials or revocations: Legal support is vital in these cases, especially when considering reapplication or pursuing a waiver.

Consider long-term impacts: A single visa issue can delay key projects or disrupt hiring plans. Companies should incorporate visa risk into broader talent strategies.

Today’s visa process is no longer just about paperwork—it’s about understanding the bigger picture. Employers and foreign nationals must work together to stay compliant, anticipate risks, and act quickly when issues arise.

Contact Information

If you or your family members have any questions about how immigration and nationality laws in the United States may affect you, or if you want to access additional information about immigration and nationality laws in the United States or Canada, please do not hesitate to contact the immigration and nationality lawyers at NPZ Law Group. You can reach us by emailing info@visaserve.com or by calling us at 201-670-0006 extension 104. We also invite you to visit our website at www.visaserve.com for more information.

http://www.visaserve.com

[callixpene]

L&DS Future Lifetime Series - PART 5: RAFAYEL & NERISSA - THE BEGINNING

Note: Please read Parts 1-4 before reading this!Unfortunately this fic cannot be read as a stand alone, as it needs context from the previous Parts.

READ HERE: MASTERLIST for PART 1-5

RAFAYEL & NERISSA - PART 5: THE BEGINNING

Rafayel X OC

Set in Future Timeline. All Love Interests have no memories of their past lives. All of the MCs(5 Sisters) all have memories of their past lives. Very persistent LIs. Avoidant MCs. Love at first sight. Soulmates.

Genre: Fluff

The evening air shimmered with a warm ocean breeze as Rafayel stood alone on the moonlit terrace, surveying the final touches of his carefully crafted setup.

Soft white lanterns floated like tethered stars, and trails of pink rose petals created a path to an elegantly intimate table for two. Somewhere nearby, a string quartet played a slow, haunting melody — a soundtrack for a love story he was determined to write with his own hands.

He exhaled slowly, running a hand through his tousled hair.

"Be patient," Jasmine's voice echoed in his mind. "She jokes to protect herself. Match her wit. Make her feel safe...and make her laugh. Only then will you see her real heart."

Good thing Rafayel had taken her words seriously. He wasn't just here to impress Nerissa tonight — he was here to win her trust, to deserve her heart.

And if that meant dealing with a few barbs and walls? Bring it on. He'd play her game and enjoy every second of it.

When he finally spotted her stepping onto the terrace, time seemed to stop.

Nerissa Kingsley.

She wore the deep emerald gown that he designed and crafted especially for her to use for this occasion. As Rafayel envisioned, it hugged her delicate frame, and highlighted her gorgeous features. She glanced around with suspicion at the romantic setup, arms crossed, one brow arched high.

Exactly how he knew she would be.

Rafayel’s lips tugged into a boyish grin. She could raise her walls all she wanted. He still had time—and all the love—to tear them down.

“Nerissa,” he greeted, his voice soft but sure.

She raised an eyebrow, stepping forward with feigned nonchalance. "Well, aren’t you laying it on a little thick, Mr. Superstar? Planning to propose marriage before the first bite of dinner?"

Rafayel laughed, unbothered by her sarcasm. "Relax. I’m not proposing... yet."

Nerissa huffed, but he saw the way the corners of her mouth betrayed a smile.

He offered his arm gallantly. "Shall we?"

She paused, giving him a skeptical glance, before relenting with a sigh. "Fine. But if you start reciting bad poetry, I’m throwing you off this rooftop."

Rafayel smirked. Her behavior and snarky comments now were quite endearing, he thought fondly.

"Careful, Nerissa," he called out playfully, stuffing his hands into his pockets. "If you roll your eyes any harder, you’re gonna sprain something."

She gave him a flat look, but he saw the slight twitch of her lips.

"Is this some sort of trap?" she asked, voice dripping with dry humor. "Because I should warn you, I'm immune to cheesy lines and desperate millionaires."

He sauntered toward her, savoring every step. "Good thing I’m neither desperate nor cheesy," he said, eyes gleaming with mischief. "Just devastatingly handsome and stupidly rich."

Nerissa let out a short laugh despite herself. "Stupid is right."

"Baby steps," Rafayel quipped, offering his arm again, this time with an exaggerated flourish. "Come, mock me all you want. Now, would you do me the honor of surviving one evening in my company?"

A playful smirk was plastered on his face.

She hesitated, suspicious as a stray cat, but finally, with a sigh of theatrical suffering, slipped her arm into his.

Over dinner, their banter was fast and fiery — Nerissa throwing sarcastic jabs like darts, Rafayel effortlessly dodging and tossing back sass of his own.

"Did you seriously name one of your paintings 'Eternal Temptation'?" she teased, sipping her wine. "Bit full of yourself, aren’t you?"

Rafayel shrugged with shameless pride. "I call it as I see it. And if you must know, it was inspired by someone suspiciously like you."

Nerissa choked slightly on her wine, coughing into her napkin while Rafayel grinned devilishly.

"Don’t flatter me, fishie," she said when she recovered.

"Too late. You're already flattered. It’s written all over your cute, angry face," Rafayel teased.

Underneath the playful war, something softer began to unfold — Nerissa’s laughter came easier; her smiles lingered longer. Jasmine had been right: behind her sharp tongue was a heart yearning to trust.

And Rafayel would never, ever betray that.

Nerissa teased him mercilessly about his fame, his paintings, even his overly perfect hair.

Rafayel volleyed back with playful jabs about her "secret" shrine of his work.

He drank in every small smile Nerissa tried to hide, every fleeting softness in her gaze when she thought he wasn’t looking.

He loved her.

Deeply, impossibly, absolutely.

Being Lemurian, Rafayel had always known he would love once and forever. His heart wasn’t designed to wander—it was designed to anchor itself to one soul.

And it had chosen Nerissa the moment he laid eyes on her.

She was it. His beginning, middle, and end.

When dinner wound down, Rafayel rose and extended his hand again. His voice softened, threading through the crackling electricity between them.

"Come with me, Cutie. The night’s not over yet."

Nerissa gave him a suspicious look. "If you lead me to a karaoke machine, I swear I’ll drown you."

Rafayel barked a laugh. "Relax. I have standards."

He led her down a private staircase, towards a sleek black yacht glistening at the private dock.

Nerissa eyed it warily. "Should I have brought a life jacket?"

"Only if you plan on jumping me mid-ride," Rafayel said with a wink.

She snorted. "As if."

"Your loss," he shot back, climbing aboard with casual ease. "I’m great at rescuing damsels. Ask my PR team."

The yacht sailed smoothly under the starlit sky. Nerissa stood at the bow, wind teasing her hair, her laughter echoing across the waves. Rafayel kept stealing glances at her — this woman who unknowingly owned him body and soul.

After a short ride, he steered the yacht towards a glistening shore.

Nerissa leaned over the railing, frowning slightly. "That’s...an island?"

"Very observant," Rafayel said solemnly, cutting the engine.

He hopped off the yacht onto the pristine white sands, then turned to face her.

The beach shimmered under the moonlight, untouched and beautiful, framed by lush trees and soft dunes.

Nerissa gasped softly. "Where are we?"

"Welcome," he said dramatically, "to Isla Nerissa."

She blinked at him. "Excuse me?"

Cautiously, Nerissa let him guide her ashore.

The beach got more breathtaking the more she looked at it. In the center, nestled under a canopy of ancient trees, was a hand-built coral pavilion — delicate arches, soft golden lanterns, a hidden oasis just for them.

"This island," Rafayel began, voice deepening, "was once part of Lemuria. A piece of my ancestors' home. Lost, like so much else...until I found it."

He walked up to her, taking both her of her hands in his.

"I bought it. Restored it. Preserved it. For you."

Nerissa looked stunned, words failing her.

Rafayel’s voice softened, a rare, tender edge slipping free. "I wanted you to have a piece of forever. A sanctuary. A home that no one can ever take from you."

He pressed her hands to his heart, letting her feel the furious rhythm pounding inside.

"I’m Lemurian. We don’t love halfway. We don’t fall lightly. When we give our heart — it’s once. It’s eternal."

He kissed her knuckles with aching reverence.

"And Nerissa Kingsley," Rafayel whispered, voice raw and beautiful, "my heart has chosen you."

Her eyes shimmered with unshed tears, her defenses crumbling with every word.

"You’re insane," she whispered brokenly, a shaky laugh escaping her. "You can’t just... buy an island and—"

"Sure I can," Rafayel interrupted with a smirk. "Multi-millionaire, devastatingly handsome, remember? I’ve got receipts."

Nerissa let out a choked laugh, swatting at his chest weakly.

Rafayel softened instantly, reaching to cup her cheek with both hands.

"You don't have to say anything tonight," he said, voice like velvet. "You don’t owe me anything. Just let me love you. Let me protect you. Let me be the man who makes you believe that love doesn’t have to hurt."

Tears finally slipped down Nerissa’s cheeks.

"You’re impossible," she whispered, smiling through her sobs.

"And yet," Rafayel said cheekily, "here you are — crying on my very expensive island." Then, he added bashfully, "That is now yours."

Nerissa let out a broken laugh—and then, to his eternal joy, she launched herself into his arms, her emotions overwhelming her defenses.

He caught her easily, cradling her against him, feeling the wet warmth of her tears against his neck.

"I don’t deserve this," she whispered brokenly.

"You deserve the world," he murmured into her hair. "But I can only start with this."

Pulling back slightly, Nerissa looked into his eyes—truly looked—and for the first time, Rafayel saw her walls finally, gloriously, fall away.

"Okay," she whispered at last. "Okay. You win.... I’ll be your girlfriend."

The world stopped spinning.

Stars collapsed into themselves.

Time ceased to matter.

All that existed was her—his Nerissa—saying yes.

Rafayel grinned, the kind of smile that hurt, that stretched all the way to his soul.

"Finally." he said, before scooping her into a kiss that tasted like salt and hope and promises sealed by the universe itself.

For a beat, Rafayel couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe.

Then he laughed — a sound of pure, devastating joy — and swept her up into another kiss that felt like coming home.

Their silhouettes stood framed under the ancient trees, moonlight dancing around them, as the waves kissed the shore of Isla Nerissa.

And Rafayel knew — with absolute certainty — that he would spend forever proving to her that she was the greatest masterpiece he had ever been blessed to love.

And as they stood on the shores, wrapped in each other’s arms, Rafayel knew:

A new beginning had bloomed.

Thank you for reading💜🩵🩷🧡❤️

Please let me know your thoughts in the comments what you think of this series so far🥹🫶

[keefiswhoiam]

September 08 - 2024 Sunday

10:58pm

5.5/10

The first chunk of today was a blur, as usual I took a long time cooking breakfast and I wasn't sure how to start my day. Part of me wanted to spend a lot of time in Cities Skylines but I didn't get around to that. I couldn't even watch my shows because the internet was bad. I kinda messed around and did nothing until JD was free to hang out. We played Planetary Annihilation for a good while. We started off against 2 "bronze" AIs which absolutely swamped us. It was pathetic. Then we fought each other but using only bot factories and I totally smoked him. He got a little frustrated though so I felt a little bad. Although I also feel good because of how he was always the winner when we were kids, especially when it came to RTS games. We hopped on VRchat for a little after that so he could show me this world he found. I didn't think it was very good tbh, especially with the world size but he thought it was cozy. At this point I was feeling the need to talk a little deeper so I asked him how he was. We talked about whats been stressing each other out a bit and that helped. I think he got a lot of benefit out of that, more than me today. Right now and the past couple days I've been feeling strong, like I've been staying true to myself well, making plans, and sticking to decisions. My big focus has been on making sure I'm being myself. I think thats the only requirement I need to have friends or be loved. Also if I keep sacrificing who I am too much for others, I will not be able to take it anymore. I'm forced to respect myself lest I snap.

I was peaking at mods and stuff for PA when DS let me know she was free. We watched some youtube, took a practice drivers test, and then she bought Hades so she could stream it. We moved to my server for that. It was a lot of fun, it was more pleasant to watch than I thought it would be. I knew I'd have fun either way but I really got into it. Unfortunately someone annoying joined for awhile but he did leave eventually. He was backseating and doing that thing where he talks to his pets out loud WAY too much without anyone having any context for what he's doing. DS and I would be trying to listen to the dialogue but he'd be yapping to his dog. In bed we did classic puzzles. I felt like I shared a good sentiment to DS tonight which is not caring or giving into people that might think something about you. Its really toxic behavior I've learned and I hope that sometimes I can help quell that kind of thing because I don't like to see her or anyone else I care about losing themselves to others. I think I'm right with this new emphasis on being myself and I want to spread that to others. True connection happens between 2 entities that identify each other as separate beings. And we can only do that when we act like our own being knowing we will be accepted for it. Either entity bending to the will of the other creates an unbalanced dynamic which often results in harm.

I think a lot like a sleep schedule is the foundation of all scheduling, being yourself is the foundation of many things as well. It's a core requirement to pursue anything higher effectively.

Lately being myself includes accepting how I feel and loving strongly. It also includes making the tough decision to enforce more boundaries and take care of myself in an attempt to be more effective at contributing to my environment in the ways I choose to. Thats whay I want, to be a well functioning individual that helps improve areas I personally think need it. I also want to help my loved ones and let them know that I love them very deeply. It's something I was a little ashamed to admit because my behavior has often been pointed out to be problematic or undesirable. Over time I've taken to believe that my form of "love" is unwelcome so I cannot experience it anymore. I'm not allowed. But I am. Maybe I have made mistakes in the past but they do not bar me from experiencing a basic human need and trying to do it right. I love. I love a lot. I refuse to hide it.

[packaginginsight]

Inclusive Packaging Market Growth Analysis Global Trends, and Opportunities Forecast by 2031

Inorganic Chemical Packaging Market ForecastScope & Overview

Inorganic Chemical Packaging Market Forecastresearch examines supplier differences in revenue and customer base. All market information is included in the research, making it easier for newcomers to understand the sector. Estimating a supplier's size and competitiveness may be made easier by knowing its market share in the base year. It exemplifies the market's characteristics of accumulation, fragmentation, domination, and amalgamation. Key market components including primary competitor financial performance, SWOT analysis, product portfolio, and most recent tactical advances are also highlighted in the market research.

The Inorganic Chemical Packaging market research offers a succinct analysis of the current market landscape, outlining significant elements like development drivers, difficulties, constraints, and opportunities for the future. In the market share study, market participants are rated according to their overall market contribution. It shows how much money it makes compared to other businesses in the sector.

Instant Access to Your Exclusive Sample Copyhttps://www.snsinsider.com/sample-request/4226

Market Key Players:

Berry Global, TPL Plastech, The Cary Company, Hoover Ferguson Group, Milford Barrel, International Paper, Orlando Drum & Container Corporation, DS Smith, Snyder Industries, Sealed Air

COVID-19 Impact Analysis

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Russia-Ukraine War Impact on Inorganic Chemical Packaging Market

The impact of the Russia-Ukraine conflict on the worldwide market is covered in great detail in the study paper. Although tensions between Russia and Ukraine have been increasing for some time, the recent military action raises questions regarding the possibility of a protracted conflict in Ukraine as well as its potential effects on the market and the global economy.

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Spouted Pouch Market Size

Global Packaging Market Size

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Sustainable Plastic Packaging Market

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[synsemuca]

Presentation: Monday, May 13 - Nikos Angelopoulos (UniCA) “On clausal complementation (again!)”

Abstract: Recent literature argues that elements such as English that introducing a declarative embedded clause should be treated as Ds (Manzini and Savoia 2007, Kayne 2010, Roussou 2010, 2019 i.a.) rather than Cs (Bresnan 1972, Chomsky 1986 i.a.). This is reinforced by the nominal use of these elements elsewhere, such as the use of that as a demonstrative. This literature has yet to show, however, why the embedded clauses introduced by these elements do not have the distribution of DPs, as has been observed since Emonds (1970). Building on this literature, this paper introduces a novel structure, treating such elements as Ds instead of Cs, with D-heads having more intricate selectional requirements than traditionally assigned to Cs. They not only select a clausal complement but also the root of the verb or noun with which they are combined. The foundation for this proposal is grounded in new generalizations derived from the distribution of finite declarative embedded clauses introduced by oti and pu in Greek. I demonstrate that these clauses exhibit DP-like behavior only in some contexts. I argue that this restriction does not undermine the treatment of these clauses as DPs. Instead, it is related to the root’s need for categorization, a process feasible in certain syntactic positions but not in others. Besides accounting for the distribution of oti- and pu-clauses, the proposed analysis also supports a number of theoretical insights, including that (a) internal arguments are introduced by higher event-related heads rather than the lexical verb (Borer 2005, Merchant 2019 i.a.), (b) nouns do not take clauses as complements (Arsenijevic 2009, Bondarenko 2022, Kayne 2009, Moulton 2009, 2014 i.a.) and (c) embedded´ clauses are interpreted either as sets of situations (Bondarenko 2022, Moltmann 2021b) or sets of individuals with propositional content (Elliott 2020, Kratzer 2006, Moltmann 1989, 2013a,b Moulton 2009, 2015 i.a.), (d) displacement in attitude and speech reports arises from projections of the embedded clause’s left periphery (Bogal-Allbritten 2016, Kratzer 2006 i.a.). Lastly, the proposed analysis offers insights into the internal structure of nominalized clauses, and provides remarks on how to capture the use of elements such as pu in different contexts.

The workshop will take place from 4pm to 6pm (CEST) over Zoom.

[shufflet]

I originally wanted to wait on more information on Green. Though I'll admit I did forget that I haven't covered anything about him in the past. Sorry about that.

In the episode 3-D specs, the contrast between him and Dr Buck was intriguing. Agent Green actually gets to know the D-class personnel unlike Dr. Buck. I'm assuming Green worked on the foundation for a longer time considering the lax rule on being able to smoke during an experiment in the past. Or it could just be a different department management. Different styles of experimentation could create different outcomes. The guy isn't a scientist but can handle people mainly through experience and building trust with his test subjects. Understanding of others, D-class included, seems to come naturally to Agent Green. Sometimes I wonder if the scientists and agents themselves can be considered variables in the Scp Foundation Universe testing. Like we know that Scp 166 has severe trouble with her condition giving her a form of supernatural asthma when she is around smokers and even those who gave up smoking for weeks. That is an example of how some scientists, agents, d-class, and other members of the scp foundation can be limited to certain interactions for experiments. This reminds me of Agent Carson's comments about being expendable as the Ds might be more applicable to far more departments than himself or Agent Ramsey as field agents. The Scp Foundation Universe isn't exactly against considering their employees just as much of part of the experiments they carry out as tools to use for understanding the entities and objects they deal with.

The episode of Black Shuck introduces that Agent Green was worried about his son in a flashback. I used to wonder if in the past if there would have been more world building via explaining Agent Green's family situation and how living within a secret society within a "regular" society would affect behavior. This could have shown how a more socially appealing person like Agent Green would fit in with civilian life. I'll admit I do enjoy viewing and reading things about the sociological contexts of people and their environment especially in fiction. Please keep in mind I'm not a professional, I'm just curious and like to have my fun on the speculations even if I turn out to be wrong on it. It's kinda fun poking around the potential headspaces of others isn't it?

Besides forgetting Agent Green, I did forget if I covered anything with Agent Ramsey or Dr. Riley yet. I do have some unusual speculations on Gustave as well but maybe that's for a different topic.

Do you ever get obsessed over a youtube series?

Even though the series hasn't updated in a while. I'm still speculating on the series. Hoping I can get better at humans so maybe I'll make fan art someday.

I'm making headcannons and attempting to learn human art after watching Tales of the Foundation a lot more than reasonably healthy XD

I really like Dr Buck and Dr Collingwood a lot.

Because of the Dracula Factory episode I have a lot of guessing of what Dr Buck used to do. Seeing her handle the specimen in that episode made me wonder if she was a veterinarian at some point. Perhaps even a marine biologist because of her IDing of the lamprey makes me wonder if she has a background studying deep sea stuff? Could you imagine being a marine biologist and learning some organization wants you to identify an actual land lamprey species that hunt humans? (Look I know in the actual scp file for the scp 2191 the Dracula Factory creatures are considered related to humans but the idea of a land lamprey species is terrifying and fascinating).

I like to think Dr Collingwood has a background in psychology because of all the way she questions people. She is very calm usually in the earlier episodes. There doesn't seem to be much about her beyond her assignments. Though maybe I overlooked something?

Agent Lawrence is kinda neat too when you learn he used to be an electrician. Wonder if he saw something while repairing a customer's electronics? Or did the Scp Foundation just like hired the guy and later learned he was a good fighter or something? That would be shocking. One moment you're repairing a blown circuit at your new job, next moment a big monster or some other supernatural entity is breathing down the back of your neck. Like that would be scary but kinda funny in a way. That's like one way to get promoted.

I dont really know much about Carson though. I think he keeps his face covered after enough things attacked his face and head area. So I don't think he's the type to show off much.

[likeabxrdinflight]

Azula and the Issue of Diagnosis- an Essay Which No One Asked For

With the avatar fandom resurgence, I want to talk more in depth about something that I’m noticing an increase of with the increased interest in the show- and that is the occasionally troubling, sometimes deeply ableist, issue of diagnosing of Azula.

What I tend to see most frequently is the use of words like “psychopath” and “sociopath,” often followed by “psychotic” or “narcissist.” Occasionally I’ll see someone refer to her as “schizophrenic,” and perhaps most troubling of all are the people using ableist slurs against her like “psycho” or “lunatic.” Even words like “crazy” in this context are a bit bothersome- it’s not a word I’m going to advocate banning from the English language, but directing it towards a character who’s visibly mentally ill has an unfortunate side effect of continuing to perpetuate stigma against mental illness.

It’s not cute.

So we’re going to talk about this today. Let’s talk about Azula, diagnosis, and mental illness.

My background

Before we deep dive, however, I want to state this plainly. I have a master’s degree in clinical psychology, and I am currently a second-year doctoral student in a clinical psychology PhD program. I’ve been in school a total of five years post-bachelor’s degree specializing in this field. I work in my school’s training clinic and have active therapy cases with a wide variety of diagnoses. I have patients who were easy to diagnose and patients where it took several months to decide what the most accurate label was. Like many mental health professionals, I have also had my own struggles with my mental health which I am not going to disclose today. But I have been in out of my own therapy since I was a teenager. In short, while I am still a trainee and still operate under the license of a supervising clinician, I know what I’m talking about.

Okay, let’s begin. The rest is under the cut:

The issue of diagnosis

I do want to dive into Azula specifically, but first, we need to talk about diagnosis as a concept. I’m coming at this from an American perspective and an American educational background, so we need to talk about the American psychiatric bible: The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM).

I’m gonna let you in on a little trade secret- DSM sucks.

You see the problem with diagnosis is that our diagnostic categories are little more than descriptions of symptoms clustered together. To say that someone has major depressive disorder tells you very little about what that specific person is experiencing. What contributed to their depression? Are their symptoms more of a body-based experience (tiredness, low energy, trouble eating/sleeping) or more emotional/psychological (feelings of worthlessness, negative thoughts, suicidality) or some combination thereof? All you have to do is meet five or more criteria to get a depression diagnosis. It doesn’t tell you WHICH five. To say nothing of the context of the person’s life- are they grieving? Is there a history of trauma to consider? Are they homeless, unemployed, or struggling to make ends meet? Do they have another chronic illness? Have they ever had a psychotic episode? Any anxiety? What about mania, which would require a different diagnosis altogether? All a DSM diagnosis really tells you is what DSM diagnosis a person’s healthcare provider decided was most appropriate to describe their symptoms. It tells you very little about what’s causing those symptoms or what treatments this person might respond to and the nature of the help they need. Even for something as seemingly simple to treat as depression- would they respond better to cognitive behavioral therapy or an interpersonal approach? How about emotion focused, humanistic/person-centered, or psychodynamic? All are effective for depression. What about medication? And what type of medication, because there are several classes of drugs that can be considered.

And there are other problems with DSM besides its lack of specificity. There’s also the issue of significant overlap and comorbidity (multiple diagnoses occurring at the same time). Someone with PTSD might also meet criteria for depression. Someone with borderline personality disorder is also likely to show symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, PTSD, depression, or generalized anxiety. The amount of overlap in the personality disorders alone has caused come psychologists and psychiatrists to consider throwing that entire section of DSM away and starting over with a new method of labelling and diagnosing these conditions. Deciding what disorder someone has is complicated, messy, and very rarely straightforward, because most likely they’re not going to fit neatly into these somewhat arbitrary categories.

The DSM is also incredibly culturally bound. These disorders are very white, very western, and have been used to stigmatize women, queer people, and people of color throughout the book’s existence. It was not so long ago that homosexuality was a DSM diagnosis. Gender dysphoria is still in the book now (though it’s the subject of much debate). Borderline and histrionic personality disorders are disproportionately diagnosed in women than men, and both disorders feature “symptoms” that may just represent misogynistic attitudes about women. One of the symptoms of histrionic PD, for example, is “sexual promiscuity.” People of color have significant disparities in access to mental health care, but when they do get it, they’re more likely to be inaccurately diagnosed, and white clinicians may (probably will) overlook important cultural considerations and over-pathologize people of color as a result.

So why the hell do we still use this thing?

Well, several reasons. The big one is for insurance companies. They often require a diagnosis before approving treatment, so you have to put something down. Another is that these labels give professionals a language to use amongst ourselves- everyone knows, generally, what it means for someone to have PTSD vs schizophrenia vs anxiety, even if those labels are flawed and don’t tell you many specifics. This has been the language of the field for over 100 years now, it might not be realistic to expect that to be upended too quickly. Labels can also be organizing for patients- some people like having a label, they like knowing that the scary and upsetting things they experience have names and that others experience them too. Labels can allow for community. And finally, a lot of psychotherapy and mental health research is done by using diagnosis.

So diagnosis isn’t totally worthless, it’s not going away, and the language we use to talk about mental health is probably not going to change anytime soon. These diagnoses do also represent real symptoms and real distress, there is no minimizing that. But it’s highly nuanced, and more complex than is commonly assumed.

So what the hell does all of this mean for Azula? It means that trying to diagnose her is going to be really hard, inherently flawed, and that the diagnostic label chosen is going to tell you fuck all about her personal experience, her history, and the reasons she’s symptomatic. So what’s the purpose of even trying?

Should we diagnose Azula?

There are a couple reasons we might want to diagnose her. One is if you’re mentally ill yourself- headcanoning Azula to have a similar disorder as yourself might be a way of seeing yourself in a fictional character. There is truly nothing wrong with this. Another is if you’re interested in psychology and mental health care as a potential career- it is a very common training exercise, in both graduate and undergraduate programs, to practice diagnosing fictional characters. It’s a good way to learn how diagnosis works and there are significantly fewer real-world implications to it. Another reason is that giving Azula a diagnosis could lead us to trying to understand that diagnosis better ourselves in real world contexts- if done with sensitivity and a genuine sense of open curiosity. If we think a favorite character might have schizophrenia, we might be more open to learning about schizophrenia and hearing the voices of real people who have schizophrenia. The final reason I can think of is related to the first- representation. Giving Azula a label can cause her to function as representation for others with that same diagnosis- and this can be important to people. Seeing depictions of mental illness in the media does matter, even if Azula is far from perfect in this sense, and even if there are troubling implications to potentially equating mental illness with villainy- and Azula does function as a villain at the end of the day. So we need to be careful in how we talk about this. However, Azula may still be an important character for people with mental illness in terms of representation and it’s important to honor that.

But why might we not want to diagnose her? Well, a specific diagnostic label really doesn’t help us understand her character at all. Labelling her doesn’t alter her character arc, her history, or our understanding of why she turned out the way she did. As well, diagnosing fictional characters can have some troubling real-world implications if the diagnosis is based in stereotyped writing. Worse, for a character like Azula, diagnosing her may reinforce the age-old belief that mental illness (especially severe mental illness) makes a person more prone to violence. There are quite a few ableist tropes in the world of Avatar, which become especially apparent in the comics series that depicts Azula wearing a straitjacket, behaving erratically, and continue to behave violently during an active psychotic episode. There are deeply problematic storytelling elements at play here and as such, we may not want to associate this with real-world diagnoses. There is also the reality that the Avatar world is not our world, and these diagnoses likely don’t exist in this universe. Azula is also a woman of color from a cultural context that might make diagnosis complicated at best, downright inappropriate at worst.

Finally, people with no background in mental health care who have no training on how to give diagnoses are likely to give inaccurate diagnoses (hence the popularity of referring to Azula as a psychopath) or may give a more correct diagnosis, but accidentally perpetuate stereotypes or misinformation in doing so.

So is it right or wrong to give her a diagnosis? Well, like most things, it’s complicated. I would say proceed with immense caution, please do due diligence and research (reading a few Wikipedia articles is not sufficient), and be aware that some people are going to be uncomfortable with it- and those reasons are entirely valid. Be open to hearing from people with mental illness and listening to their voices, as well as being open to correcting yourself if you get something wrong. Mental health professionals like myself may also want to correct any blatant misinformation- this is important- but our degrees ultimately do not trump the lived experiences of people with mental illness. A bachelor’s degree in psychology most definitely does not.

Some brief misconceptions about mental illness

Before addressing specific labels, there is a misconception I occasionally see among those defending Azula that I want to address- I sometimes see it said that we can’t label her mentally ill because she comes from a dysfunctional family background characterized by abuse, war, and trauma. This…isn’t true. Mental illness is not a purely biological construct. Even the single most genetically based disorder- schizophrenia- only has a heritability rate of around 50%. What does that mean? It means that if you look at identical twins- who share 100% of their DNA- and one of them has schizophrenia, the other twin is only about 50% likely to also develop schizophrenia.

This means that there MUST be environmental causes that trigger the disorder. And that’s the heritability rate for the MOST biologically driven of all the mental health disorders. The rates for others are significantly lower. We often consider the causes of mental illness from a biopsychosocial model- meaning there are multiple causal factors that can contribute to a mental illness. These causes can be biological, but there are often psychological, sociological, and other environmental factors that can put someone at increased risk of developing a mental illness. It’s very uncommon for someone to develop a disorder without some kind of environmental trigger- these are not purely biological disorders and to think of them as such is a serious oversimplification.

So dysfunctional families, trauma, abuse- these things do contribute to mental disorders, and in fact, are significant risk factors for many of them. So yes, Azula can be both traumatized and mentally ill- in fact, she’s most likely mentally ill because of her trauma. Reducing it to some biological flaw in her brain is grossly inaccurate at best.

But that still doesn’t tell us anything about what label best fits her. Is there a label we can assign to her? Should we?

Well…it’s complicated.

What Azula is not:

She’s not a psychopath or a sociopath. These are both outdated diagnostic terms that typically refer to what we now call antisocial personality disorder (ASPD). ASPD cannot be diagnosed before age 18, like all the personality disorders, because children just haven’t finished developing enough to assign such a label to them. For this reason, we can eliminate every single personality disorder as a possible diagnosis for Azula- she is 14, and thus too young. So she’s not a narcissist either, and she does not have borderline personality disorder.

It also highly unlikely that Azula’s symptoms can be explained by disorders like depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder. You could potentially make arguments or headcanon that she has them, but these are likely insufficient labels to account for the wider range of her experiences. You could make an argument for a mood disorder with psychotic features, and you might want to consider PTSD- psychotic symptoms can occur alongside it, though this is rare. I’d argue none of these diagnoses are the best fit given what we know about Azula, however, the fact that you even could make an argument for them sort of proves my point about the fuzziness of diagnosis. It really isn’t very clear-cut.

What labels might fit? Pre-Sozin’s Comet

But wait, you say, Azula clearly had a lot of problem behaviors as a child! She was cruel and manipulative, she had low empathy, she blatantly disregards the rights of others, she throws bread at turtle ducks! Why would a kid hurt turtle ducks? That isn’t normal!!

It’s true that we do have a label for this kind of behavior in children, and it’s called conduct disorder. Conduct disorder is characterized by unusual aggression, deceit, rule breaking, lying, and other significant problem behaviors. These are your kids who act out to express their emotions, who show little remorse, and may act abusively towards peers, siblings, or animals. Conduct disorder can lead to a later diagnosis of ASPD- and in fact is required for that diagnosis to be made- but it does not have to. Contributing factors to conduct disorder include but are not limited to: dysfunctional family dynamics, history of abuse/neglect, genetic factors, low socioeconomic status, and peer rejection.

So does Azula have a conduct disorder? You can certainly make a case for it. That does not, however, mean she’s destined to grow up to have a personality disorder. Conduct disorder is treatable, and especially for someone like Azula, who grew up in such a flagrantly toxic environment that no doubt directly contributed to her behaviors. Azula was an angry little girl who felt neglected by her mother and was groomed by her father. Ozai took all of Azula’s worst traits and rewarded them- this child doesn’t know another way of behaving or getting positive attention. Of course she looks like a kid with a conduct disorder- conduct disorder frequently results from childhood trauma.

We do, however, need to be careful when talking about this as a possible label to not act like that makes her evil or unredeemable. Kids with conduct disorder are not psychopaths- more often than not, they’re kids who’ve experienced significant traumas, disorganized attachments, and severe stress. These kids need help, not shame, and Azula, were she a real person, would be no different. It’s also worth considering that Azula is a woman of color, and we need to consider her culture and background- is she really so mentally ill when she was raised in a culture that reinforced her aggression and fostered low empathy in all of its soldiers?

Debatable. You can make an argument that her behavior was actually normal given this context, especially when it was so clearly encouraged by one parent. Kids are sponges- they absorb the things they are exposed to. They learn constantly. If Azula learned to behave a certain way from her father, is that really a mental illness? Regardless, can it be unlearned?

Yes. It absolutely can. She is only fourteen.

What labels might fit? Post-Sozin’s Comet

The next one that frequently comes up is in the context of her breakdown during Sozin’s Comet- schizophrenia. Does Azula have schizophrenia?

First we need to define some terms, because Azula does exhibit some symptoms that lead people to this conclusion.

Psychosis (from webmd): Psychosis is a condition that affects the way your brain processes information. It causes you to lose touch with reality. You might see, hear, or believe things that aren't real. Psychosis is a symptom, not an illness. A mental or physical illness, substance abuse, or extreme stress or trauma can cause it.

Schizophrenia (from mayoclinic): Schizophrenia is a serious mental disorder in which people interpret reality abnormally. Schizophrenia may result in some combination of hallucinations, delusions, and extremely disordered thinking and behavior that impairs daily functioning, and can be disabling. People with schizophrenia require lifelong treatment.

So psychosis is a set of symptoms, and schizophrenia is a disorder. I am not going to use the terms interchangeably, and you shouldn’t either. Azula does experience psychosis, this isn’t the debate here. So with that out of the way, can we consider Azula to have schizophrenia specifically?

This one is actually even less clear-cut than conduct disorder, particularly because there’s some debate about what materials count as canon. But first let’s take a look at the DSM criteria for schizophrenia, as it’s changed in the most recent edition of DSM. Schizophrenia is now considered a spectrum of disorders and the criteria are as follows:

1.       The presence of 2 (or more) of the following, each present for a significant portion of time during a 1-month period (or less if successfully treated), with at least 1 of them being (1), (2), or (3): (1) delusions, (2) hallucinations, (3) disorganized speech, (4) grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior, and (5) negative symptoms.

2.       For a significant portion of the time since the onset of the disturbance, level of functioning in 1 or more major areas (eg, work, interpersonal relations, or self-care) is markedly below the level achieved before onset; when the onset is in childhood or adolescence, the expected level of interpersonal, academic or occupational functioning is not achieved.

3.       Continuous signs of the disturbance persist for a period of at least 6 months, which must include at least 1 month of symptoms (or less if successfully treated); prodromal symptoms often precede the active phase, and residual symptoms may follow it, characterized by mild or subthreshold forms of hallucinations or delusions.

4.       Schizoaffective disorder and depressive or bipolar disorder with psychotic features have been ruled out because either (1) no major depressive, manic, or mixed episodes have occurred concurrently with the active-phase symptoms or (2) any mood episodes that have occurred during active-phase symptoms have been present for a minority of the total duration of the active and residual periods of the illness.

5.       The disturbance is not attributable to the physiologic effects of a substance (eg, a drug of abuse or a medication) or another medical condition.

6.       If there is a history of autism spectrum disorder or a communication disorder of childhood onset, the additional diagnosis of schizophrenia is made only if prominent delusions or hallucinations, in addition to the other required symptoms or schizophrenia are also present for at least 1 month (or less if successfully treated).

So, let’s get the easy part out of the way- Azula definitely experiences hallucinations (the vision/voice of her mother), delusions (the belief that her servants and court will all betray her, and if you consider the comics canon, the belief that her mother has been conspiring with everyone else to take her down). I would also argue that when floridly psychotic she exhibits pretty significant psychomotor agitation- she moves differently during her Agni Kai with Zuko, her behavior is disorganized, sloppy, and her movements less precise. For Azula, who has long been defined by her sense of precision, that’s significant. She does not, however, experience disorganized speech, catatonia, or very many obvious negative symptoms (negative symptoms are typically similar to symptoms of depression- again, there’s that overlap problem).

Also easy- do her symptoms get in the way of her occupational/relational functioning/self-care? Yes, without question. She banishes her entire staff. She cannot maintain relationships, and this is especially prominent during The Search. In terms of self-care, though, she actually manages all right (we’ve all badly cut our own bangs before don’t deny it). She does, however, jump off of Appa during The Search in a way that probably could have killed her if Aang hadn’t intervened.

Onto the third criteria. Do her symptoms last at least six months? If you consider The Search canon, then yes, they last at least a year. If not, unclear. Was there a prodromal period? Yes, the time between the Boiling Rock and Sozin’s Comet. Prodromal periods refer to a period of time in which the person is beginning to show signs of possibly developing psychotic symptoms, but are not yet what we call “floridly” or “actively” psychotic- meaning no full blown delusions or hallucinations yet. Prodromal individuals may be more erratic, have some strange or unusual beliefs, and/or experience symptoms of other psychiatric disorders- it’s common for prodromal individuals to be misdiagnosed until they become actively psychotic. And finally, does Azula have residual phases? Maybe- again if you consider the comics, she may be in a residual phase during Smoke and Shadow. However, this is highly unclear as that story is not complete- she may become actively psychotic again, she may not. We don’t really know. If she does not become actively psychotic again, schizophrenia is no longer an appropriate diagnosis, as the disorder is typically chronic.

Onto the fourth criteria-  have other disorders have been ruled out? Well…personally I don’t see too many signs of mood disorders in Azula. You could probably make an argument for mania and I’d be curious to see what that looked like, but personally, I wouldn’t consider bipolar disorder very likely for her. What I do see, however, is an awful lot of trauma. And in a child Azula’s age, I would look at trauma 100% of the time before I considered a diagnosis of schizophrenia. Schizophrenia in a fourteen-year-old is rare. Not unheard of, but incredibly rare.

Criteria five. This one’s actually up for debate. Was Azula’s psychotic break the result of Sozin’s Comet? Was it the result of sleep deprivation and acute stress/trauma? If you don’t consider the comics canon, this is actually a much more likely possibility than full blown schizophrenia. 

And finally criteria 6- not applicable.

So does Azula meet criteria for schizophrenia- maybe, but only if you consider the comics to be canon. If you don’t, then no- you cannot make that argument. However, regardless, it’s a troubling label for someone so young and so obviously traumatized. If she does have schizophrenia, you must consider her context, consider the causal factors- schizophrenia and trauma can and do frequently go together- and you must must must be careful in how you talk about this. Schizophrenia is a heavily stigmatized and misunderstood illness, and applying it haphazardly to a fourteen-year-old girl is a serious thing. Especially a fourteen-year-old girl from a non-white, non-western culture.

But if you remove the comics from consideration, what does Azula have?

A single psychotic episode, the causes of which are highly up for debate. And that is all you have evidence for. A single psychotic episode does not a schizophrenia diagnosis make.

Ultimately, the label isn’t necessary, because this is not a world in which diagnosis is needed to conceptualize Azula’s experience or provide treatment because of insurance companies. It’s not particularly helpful. She experiences psychosis, without question. Is it really schizophrenia, though?

Maybe. Maybe not.

If you’re asking do I have a problem with people headcanoning Azula as schizophrenic, the answer is no, with some reservations. It definitely doesn’t bother me if the person doing so has a psychotic disorder and sees themselves in Azula, or else has a background in mental health care and understands how diagnosis works. For everyone else, please do your research and please do your due diligence. These are not labels to throw around lightly, and not every person experiencing psychosis has schizophrenia.

In conclusion:

Diagnosis is an incredibly complex and tricky thing even in the real world, and it is based on a flawed and imperfect system that at best manages to describe clusters of symptoms. Am I diagnosing Azula today? No, I am not, and that is not the purpose of this very long essay. If you take from this that I am definitely saying Azula has a conduct disorder and schizophrenia, you have not read it thoroughly.

At the end of the day, slapping a label or set of labels onto Azula is unnecessary to understanding her character. There may be benefits to it as described above, however, this is something you must be careful about doing as there can be troubling implications to doing so. Proceed with caution, be informed, and do your research.

And for god’s sake fandom, stop calling her a psychopath.

[isekaisyouwithmyforearmlaser]

emergency donation post. if you have the time please read for context.

please send donations to my cashapp $pikman2

hi i know i dont have tons of followers but im hoping i can get some circulation because my family is in some really dire circumstances rn.

ive always been against making donations posts because i always figured others had it worse than me, but now that theres children involved im desperate and im selling my own things/ working overtime just for cash. my moms wife, D, cheated on my mom with my moms boss after being married for 6 years with 2 kids, and up and left without trying to talk about it at all. After originally kicking us out, she realized she couldnt afford the house thats under her name alone, and let my mom and the kids and my nana live there temporarily. our name isnt on anything, and if my family gets kicked out again theyd be homeless. right now my older brother, my nana, and my two younger siblings- both elementary school children- are dependent on my mom. my mom recently lost her job because she couldnt work under her boss anymore and the entire work place was extremely bad for her mental health. D and her new GF then sent their work friend to go "spy" on my mom while she was out with her friends (D started doing coke again around last year so her behavior is erratic) and the guy who they sent physically assaulted my mom. my mom already has prexisting injuries on her back and a past broken wrist from a few different abusive exes she had years ago, AND on top of that just last year my mom got in a nearly fatal car accident that fucked up her back more, and the assault made these injuries incredibly worse.

my mom (pictured above) has been prescribed new medication, but no longer has insurance because she lost her job. she works retail now which is extremely taxing on her body. my mom lives in texas and has applied many times to state assistance programs but she keeps getting denied. The house isnt in my moms name, so she has no proof of address to allow her to get food from any nearby foodshelves. after the accident my mom has really bad fears of driving and cant drive long distance without her anxiety becoming debilitating.

my brother recently got sick and is getting tested again. my nana has social security but its only 900 a month, really only 700 after buying her meds. my mom and i are the only ones working.

below are the some of the bills my mom has to try to earn in one month on 11 dollars an hour

plus rent which is 1250 and her car insurance. currently they spend all money on bills and barely have food or hygienic products most of the time.

D  hasnt been very helpful during all this, as she expects my mom to pay  all the bills despite knowing my mom is solely responsible for the well  being of 5 other ppl rn, and despite the fact EVERYTHING is in Ds name.  unfortunately we cant really negotiate with her because she can just  kick us out and then we'd lose shelter.

TL;DR

to clarify, i live in minnesota rn, so im not asking money to help ME, but rather my immediate and closest family- 5 people, 2 children, one elderly. my moms mentally ill, has chronic pain and longlasting injuries mostly from past abusive relationships, recently got in a traumatic accident, then was assaulted by her wifes friend after her wife of 6 years suddenly left after her affair was exposed. she just got prescribed a bunch of new meds that she cant afford but needs in order to keep working, all the while needing to pay off all the bills which comes to a total of about 2,000. there are 5 people in the house- my mom, my nana, my brother and two children. they are all constantly at risk of homelessness, they barely have any food at the house, and because nothing is in there name they cant show proof of address which is required at all food shelves locally. my mom cant drive far because of her anxiety due to her past accident and shes the only licensed driver in the house.

right now ive stopped school completely to work full time at my current job in retail. im trying to find a new job that pays more so that we can start saving money so they can move somewhere affordable and no longer have to deal with D. ive been doing this since the beginning of 2020 and if youve been following me you know i also stopped my own HRT and meds just so my family can eat, which has basically fucked my mental health incredibly, as im already suicidal and have been on and off meds/therapy/inhospital since early highschool. i skip days without eating and only do it when i need to so that my family can have more money. basically, ive exhausted everything i can to help and its still not enough.

Please if you can consider sending any donations directly to my cashapp $pikman2. every little bit helps, even 1 or 2 dollars can help with small groceries. thank you.

[sullustangin]

Not a disaster spy.

Note:  I speak in lawful/neutral/chaotic alignments as seen in D&D.  I’m not getting into good, evil, or neutral, nor “Dark Side” or “Light Side” activities. 

There were more than a few reasons why I commissioned a piece of art that depicted some pretty gnarly scars on Theron Shan (and on my smug, Eva, but you don’t care as much about her, let’s be real). It’s part of a story I’m telling.  It’s part of my headcanon.  Also, it’s my own sort of protest against the habit of writing Theron off as a hot but inept spy.  He’s an impulsive fool despite being intelligent, which is why he ends up in bizarre situations. He always gets hurt because of this (but he’s always magically healed up in time for any smut). 

To be clear: Theron totally has issues due to his early life and an inability to play well with others; you can label him with attachment issues, intimacy issues, whatever keeps him a bit of a lonely character (which he admits).  Personal life -- disaster.  That’s canon, explicit and implicit.

What I object to are his skills and abilities being discounted because of that.  His professional life is far from being a disaster.  Director SIS Marcus Trant brands him as one of the best field agents, and long term, he ends up being operations manager for a covert base for an upstart independent government.

Reasons:

In the book Annihilation, Theron runs around in his boots and briefs trying to destroy the Ascendant Spear.   Hot, funny, and strangely effective.

But why?

Because Jace Malcom and Marcus Trant were ok with sacrificing a few planets of people “for the greater good.”  They let Ruan be attacked.  They planned on letting Duro be attacked, because they wanted the Pub fleet to focus on the Ascendant Spear, the Empire superweapon.  They watched a planet get wrecked and planned on doing it again.  It’s war.  It’s a lawful action, for the greater good.  It complies with society’s expectations -- the Republic leadership’s expectations -- in a time of war. Lawful neutral, probably.  Maybe lawful good if you squint and do the math about the Spear’s potential fatality rate, galaxy wide.

But Theron isn’t a lawful character -- he doesn’t just do stuff because society says it’s ok.  That’s why he goes off and does impulsive stuff because sometimes, society is wrong.  Theron is a neutral, leaning chaotic character -- he mostly follows the law, but also relies on his own intuition and gut feeling about what is right. Neutral characters balance what society says is right and what a person internally thinks is right.   Chaotic characters -- like my oc smuggler -- don’t rely on society’s views at all; it’s all about her gut and moral compass.  Theron at least considers lawfulness and order in his response, which is why he is (mostly) not a chaotic character.  He has his moments, though - no character is pure.  In contrast, Lana is a Lawful character in the context of the Sith Empire.  She does things that her society approves of.  She does like to think of herself as ‘her own woman’, but her behavior patterns are heavily informed by the Sith upbringing and training - she is Lawful but leaning Neutral on occasion due to her own sense of pragmatism.  She does not go by her gut alone. 

(Please remember I’m not addressing good/evil, Light/Dark side in this post.)

That’s why Theron ends up dehydrated with cramped leg and half naked.  He didn’t want people to die "for the greater good” when he personally could stop it.  So he and Gnost Dural fool Darth Karrid into participating at Duro, which means the Republic Fleet has to defend the planet, since its target is the Ascendant Spear.  The only way that happens is that Gnost-Dural is tortured, and Theron has to manually slice into the nearly uninhabitable bowels of the ship.  Hence the whole strip tease by the end of the incident.  

Consequences: 

In the example above, it’s mostly situational embarrassment for Theron, and the Jedi gets tortured. 

In an earlier part of the book, Theron is beaten up to keep his cover and acquire important information (and loses a few teeth in the process) and leaps off a building and probably fractures a few things -- he dislocated a shoulder too.  Still didn’t blow cover, and he is able get off Ziost with Gnost Dural. 

Every SWTOR player knows about Rishi -- it’s easy to argue that Theron doesn’t give up Lana because that could burn his Republic ally.  But if  you’re playing Imp side, what’s stopping him?  Flirting is nothing to this point.  Why not burn all the Imps down?  He could save his own skin, infiltrate the Revanites that way and save the Republic Fleet -- to hell with Darth Marr.

Because it’s not just “ooo rah Republic” informing his choices -it’s not Republic society saying it’s ok and lawful that makes him sit there.  It’s his own moral compass that says it’s wrong to burn Jakarro and the operative, even if Lana did give him up.  So he holds out under torture, even as Revan tries to make his descendant his ally. 

Theron had been in SIS for about 12-13 years by the time we get to Rishi.  We know he’s fallen from high heights and survived worse falls than leaping between buildings on Nar Shaddaa -- survived, not gotten out unscathed. He was a swoop racer for awhile -- that’s a risky hobby.  As an agent, It’s reasonable to assume he’s been shot at with blasters and possibly slugthrowers (if he came across a Mando), stabbed with traditional blades or vibro-blades, got burned if he was in an industrial area or a hot engine room or a chemical lab -- the list goes on.  After Yavin, we know that the one agent possibly more chaotic than he is, Jonas Balkar, ends up giving him a few broken ribs in the name of busting up an implants ring. 

So Theron does have very real consequences for his decisions, in all likelihood.  That’s what I wanted to reflect in the recent commission; although it happens shortly before the torture session on Rishi, it shows the viewer that this is a path he’s been on before, and not by accident. 

Cutting here because boy, did I have a lot to say about what happens AFTER SoR in terms of alignment/characterization.

The KotFE and Beyond: Consistency Issues

Theron registers his approval and disapproval on certain decisions in later xpacs, and he often takes the more benevolent “light side” end of things -- whether that’s based upon his societal expectations or personal moral compass is not as clear.  But he still does disagree with the Commander (one of the more obvious examples being  storming out of the room if there are too many Pub casualties on Corellia when the player is Imp side).  While it remains a touchy topic, the Traitor Arc does reflect his neutral-chaotic tendencies. He goes with his internal moral compass.

Electrocuting the Commander on Iokath was part of Theron gaining the Order of Zildrog’s trust. Theron’s smart enough and probably familiar enough with the Commander’s bio data to know how to make it happen and look bad enough without serious ill-effects. This is part of what he does as a spy, and there’s likely a guide on double agent sabotage somewhere in SIS -- how to look like you’re doing bad stuff without actually doing as bad stuff as requested.  This is also part of what he personally believes to be a better path -- certainly not by Alliance “what to do when bad things happen” book, which was to tell his Commander.   

Does Theron fail at Nathema?  Yes; there is a major loss of war materiel (the Gravestone and the Eternal Fleet).  But what would he have considered more important?  The loss of the fleet or the loss of the Commander and others if the Fleet was unleashed?  The loss of life or the loss of stuff? That’s where Theron’s neutral-chaotic alignment comes in. 

It also does matter how the player views the entire situation -- Theron’s boss also has a say in ‘success,’ which is why Trant matters in judging Theron’s previous actions. At the end of KotET, some people had been miserable that they HAD to either be a ruler or a peacekeeper instead of just getting on their ship and riding off into the sunset for more class-specific adventures. By the end of Nathema, some people were mad about losing the weapons and the power.  Some people were relieved that they weren’t so OP anymore; the writers had written story/character development into a corner, and ending the whole Throne/Fleet thing had to happen. (It’s still not fully out of a corner, in my personal opinion.)  

Theron doesn’t get out of the Traitor Arc completely clean, no matter how many stans we write about it -- the writing is what it is.  He assuredly gains a new scar.  But it is player choice as to the severity of the failure -- and the consequences: Theron can end up married, still in love with the Commander, dumped by the Commander but in the Alliance, exiled, or dead. Those were the consequences for what he believed was the right thing to do -- this was probably his biggest leap into the chaotic alignment in terms of decision making, and this was the most dramatic spectrum of consequences.

As a side bar, the latter xpacs suffer from writing issues; there’s a lack of nuance compared to the vanilla stories and even Hutts and SOR.  Although the writers did promise that characters would leave if there were enough negative actions, only Koth actually left because of something we did; Lana never leaves, and Theron leaves regardless of prior actions -- because he’s doing the  double agent thing. (I thought the opening speech on Umbara was ill-fit for most classes, frankly -- the writing got better as we got closer to Nathema, but there are plotholes that make me fume.)  Lana and Theron never leave because the player makes too many LS or DS decisions. I honestly wish that was a consequence, because not having a consequence for decisions hallows out both characters and makes them lackeys rather than the stronger, distinct characters they were prior to Popsicle Time. Lana never leaves no matter what. Theron ultimately remains gone by player decision, not by his own.  Koth was at least granted that autonomy, for which I respect the writing for Koth. 

Theron Shan is a good spy that accepts consequences.

Theron is good at his job -- the best at his job, around the time of SoR. Because of how Theron approaches the world, he takes risks so others don’t -- so others don’t get tortured, so other planets don’t get blown up.  It doesn’t mean that he’s some inept idiot that fumbles his way toward mission success. He  knowingly suffers for his choices that are a combination of by-the-book training and his instincts. He doesn’t complain about it, even when the player points it out on Rishi.  It is the job.  Spies do really, really strange stuff to keep their covers. He also doesn’t complain as he’s limping around after Nathema, nor does he object if he’s exiled or dumped.  He knows what he did.  He can live with it (if the player lets him). 

Spies that remain alive and get back to their home nations without giving anything important up to the enemy are successful spies.  We see this in pre-SWTOR media.  Rishi is a success for Theron -- although he is exposed, he remains alive and uncooperative.  The temporary Alliance between Marr and Satele gain massive amounts of intel, including Revan’s base on Yavin.  Later, Theron is able to keep the Odessen base functional and secret.  We even get to do some infiltration work on Zakuul -- the Alliance’s spies don’t give anything up while surviving and making it home with gains.  He succeeds overall at Odessen.  He fails at Nathema, though that failure is mostly interpreted by the player in terms of severity. 

Few spies are perfect and survive to become old men.  Even if Theron is killed at the end of Nathema, he did make it further than many; if we consider that Theron was about 37 or 38 at Nathema and he started SIS at 16, that’s upwards of 20 years in the field.  That’s a long lifespan for an active field agent, even in real world estimates. 

For those of us who let Theron live, then he still has potential for more spy escapades, though probably with some serious oversight.  We can leave that to headcanons, since Lana and Theron have taken a step back in prominence since Onslaught.  Theron will never be orderly like Lana; if you favor lawful characters, you will rarely see eye to eye with Theron.  He is not a by the book spy, and even Trant complains about that.  At the same time, the instinct, the skills, and personal conscience is there, which is why Theron is successful all the way up to Nathema -- and depending on the player, arguably still is. 

Personal life -- sure, a disaster. No doubt. But as a spy?  I don’t think disaster is an accurate assessment.

[zoologynewsology]

How Zoos Have Made Themselves Relevant to Conservation

Written by Shanley Ryan

Zoos are responsible for some of the most extensive animal-based educational programs provided for the young and old. Often these programs are geared more towards children than adults. For example, Potter Park zoo has a zoo education program that brings children to the zoo to learn about animals, their environment, their husbandry, and even their conservation efforts in classrooms. Children easily grow attached to the animals they learn about while at the zoo. These fond memories often stick with them till adulthood. Once these children grow up and have children of their own, or even grandchildren, they hold onto that nostalgia they had as a child at the zoo and they bring their children to the zoo for similar experiences. While they’re at the zoo they may end up donating towards their favorite animal, spending money at the gift shop on stuffed animals and t-shirts or participate in fundraiser programs. However, the most important thing they must do is visit the extensive animal exhibits.

Educating the public is the most important aspect of an exhibit. A zoo’s goal is to plant the seed of conservation in the minds of their visitors. Once this seed has been planted it will grow in the individual’s mind and may possibly lead to conservational action. For example, a zoo can inform an adult visitor about the current laws or actions taking place that involve red wolves. Recently red wolf populations have been declining and changes in laws have threatened their territory. With this knowledge, a visitor can then make a conscious decision whether to take a stand to help the wolves. Unfortunately, not everyone will be able to reach out to their local governor, create a petition, or fundraise to help support the species. This is where the zoo comes into play. A zoo can accept donations, sell items in the gift shop and use the funds toward conservation efforts, or more. In addition, by allowing the public to experience a red wolf as a living breathing animal that can bond with others of their kind, they will gain sympathy and compassion for the animal. This is something that cannot be done without a zoo exhibit. Being able to experience the beautiful harmonic howling of these creatures firsthand is a very powerful encounter. A sound recording does not do the animal justice. A zookeeper’s primary goal is to engage, enlighten, and educate the public.

Additional programs such as the dolphin interactions and shows help encourage people to take action towards conservation efforts. This is shown through the surveys that were conducted between those that had seen dolphins and had not seen dolphins. Conservation-related knowledge (DS: t = -2.73, P < 0.01; IP: t = -12.12 P < 0.01), attitude (DS: t = -2.05, P < 0.05; IP: t = -12.33 P < 0.01), and behavioral intentions (DS: t = -11.23, P < 0.01; IP: t = -13.84 P < 0.01) in the short term were significant (Miller, 2013). Three months after these results continued to remain higher than that of the pre-show survey (DS: t = -2.56, P < 0.05; IP: t = -8.10 P < 0.01) (Miller, 2013). People who experienced these programs agreed that they felt their knowledge on the subject was significantly strengthened (Miller, 2013). They also found the programs entertaining and educational (Miller, 2013). If the public enjoys the programs and the programs themselves help influence more visitors to participate in conservation, then the zoos or aquariums that have similar programs should continue running them.

To further education in zoos many institutions have incorporated technological advances in hopes of drawing a younger more tech-savy crowd to the park. Utilizing screens, videos, games, animations, and more increases the likelihood of zoo visitors remembering crucial material from a zoo’s conservation message. In the future zoos may be able to implement virtual reality exhibits where visitors can experience an endangered animal’s habit without having to travel around the world. Having these realistic and memorable experiences may draw thousands of individuals from across the country to view and contribute to this future zoo’s conservation efforts.

To aid in conservation many zoos incorporate breeding programs into their institutions. For instance, Canis rufus, commonly known as the red wolf, is currently an endangered species and has been since 1967 (U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, n.d.). The species was once common all throughout Eastern and South-Central United States (Manganiello, 2009). Approximately only 40 red wolves remain in the wild in North Carolina from a reintroduced population and more than 200 participate in breeding programs in the United States today (Kelly, 2018). There have been multiple attempts at restarting the population, but the species has still yet to thrive once again. By placing the critically endangered wolves on exhibit in zoos throughout the United States the species may experience additional help from the efforts made by the zoo itself along with the public.

Pup fostering is a common reintroduction strategy for red wolves performed in the past (Animal Welfare Institute, n.d.). This is when captive-bred red wolf pups are placed in wild red wolf dens in the hopes that a wild red wolf female will “adopt” the pups (Animal Welfare Institute, n.d.). In May of 2003, this process was performed and documented with a pair of siblings from the North Carolina Zoological Park (University of Michigan, 2003). The pups were adopted by a wild female red wolf and biologists monitored the wolf family (University of Michigan, 2003). This finding is important because “fostering enhances the genetic diversity of the wild red wolf population and increases their overall chance of survival” (University of Michigan, 2003). This zoo along with 36 other AZA accredited zoos and aquariums participate in the red wolf Species Survival Plan by providing housing, care, and breeding knowledge (University of Michigan, 2003).

Animal conservation is more than just trying to increase populations of animals by any means possible. In some cases, there can be too much genetic representation of an individual. Take for example the giant panda. Despite the decrease in special use of reserves by farmers and the increases in number of protected area reserves the total area of the reserves available to giant pandas in 2013 has actually decreased in comparison to 1988 (Bai, 2018). However, there has been an estimated 16.8% increase in the number of giant pandas in 2013 from 2001 (Bai, 2018). This with the combined decrease in available protected area causes more issues in the long run. Adding more individuals to an ever-shrinking area will inevitably cause resource shortages, territorial disputes, and cause the minimal success in the effort to save the species to be all for nothing. Although there has been an increase in the total amount of wild pandas this number is still rather low at an estimated 1864 individuals (Bai, 2018). These individuals are divided into populations of around 30 individuals. This lack of connectivity between the groups of wild pandas can ultimately in the long run cause more issues at the genetic level (Bai, 2018). Without more genetic diversity groups run into issues with genetic mutations and diseases among highly related individuals.

Work Cited

Animal Welfare Institute. (n.d.). Protection of Red Wolves. Retrieved December 2, 2019, from  https://awionline.org/cases/protection-red-wolves

Bai, W., Connor, T., Zhang, J., Yang, H., Dong, X., Gu, X., Zhou, C. (2018) Long-term Distribution and Habitat Changes of Protected Wildlife: Giant Pandas in Wolong Nature  Reserve, China. Environmental Science and Pollution Research. 25 (12) 11400-1148. https://doi-org.proxy2.cl.msu.edu/10.1007/s11356-018-1407-6

Kelly, T., Beyer, A., Phillips, K. (2008) Canis rufus. The IUCN Red List of Threatened Species. Retrieved December 2, 2019, from  http://dx.doi.org/10.2305/IUCN.UK.2008.RLTS.T3747A10057394.en.

Manganiello, C. (2009) From a Howling Wilderness to Howling Safaris: Science, Policy and   Red Wolves in the American South. Journal of the History of Biology. 42(2) 325-359

Miller, L. J., Zeigler‐Hill, V., Mellen, J., Koeppel, J., Greer, T., & Kuczaj, S. (2013). Dolphin shows and interaction programs: benefits for conservation education?. Zoobiology, 32(1), 45-53.

Patrick, P., Matthews, C., Ayers, D., Tunnicliffe, S. (2010). Conservation and Education: Prominent Themes in Zoo Mission Statements. The Journal of Environmental Education. Retrieved from https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.3200/JOEE.38.3.53-60.

Swanagan, J. (2010). Factors Influencing Zoo Visitors’ Conservation Attitudes and Behavior. The Journal of Environmental Education. Retrieved from  https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00958960009598648.

University of Michigan. (2003) Red Wolf Fostering is a Success. Opposing Viewpoints in Context. 20(1) 28, Retrieved from http://link.galegroup.com.proxy1.cl.msu.edu.proxy2.cl.msu.edu.proxy1.cl.msu.edu.proxy 2.cl.msu.edu/apps/doc/A102657725/OVIC?u=msu_main&sid=OVIC&xid=97981c7d. Accessed December 2, 2019.

U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. (n.d.). Red wolf. Retrieved December 2, 2019, from https://www.fws.gov/southeast/wildlife/mammal/red-wolf/

[amysubmits]

I’m so bad at trying to overcompensate and think three steps ahead when it is truly not needed. I wish I had someone like that to realize I don’t have to work so hard at something that may not be worth the stress. Do you think it’s undermining your DD/Ds when a person does what you described?

I think this is probably one of those things that might vary in perspective quite a bit between different DD or D/s relationships?

I guess for us, it can be okay for me to do ‘extra’ but it’s not okay for me to decide that I have to or else I have failed? For example, if he tells me to do two loads of laundry and I do three, that is fine. I mean, that’s good! But if I were to convince myself I need to do 3 and “only” get 2 done and then beat myself up about not getting a third done then he’d be talking to me about how it’s not my job to make those guidelines for myself. He sets the standard not me. Similarly, in the past I’ve felt guilty for something else I’ve done so I don’t want to take an orgasm he’s granted me but that’s not my call to make, if he says I can orgasm I should try to take it. And also I don’t get to make my own goals that contradict his. So if he tells me to take a relaxing day to myself and I randomly get it in my head that “he’d be so happy” if he came home to a perfectly clean house so I were to spend the day deep cleaning “for him” when he told me to relax? That would not be okay even though I had convinced myself it was to make him happy.

I definitely can be guilty of thinking too many steps ahead too. Sometimes my over-thinking is helpful but other times he discourages it, it just sort of depends on the situation. If something is within my responsibility then I can over-prepare to high heaven for the most part. If it’s his responsibility then that’s different. If he’s actively in the process of making a decision on something, he’ll definitely welcome discussion and ideas from me about it even if it’s his decision to make. But if something is his responsibility and it’s something that isn’t going to happen for like a week or more and I’m over-analyzing it to death already he’ll discourage it. Sometimes he literally says things like “That’s a month away, we aren’t going to talk about it for a couple of weeks. Try to stop worrying about it.” Which doesn’t necessarily make me 100% turn my brain off on over-thinking about it? But it definitely helps because if I have someone to talk to about my over-thinking then it definitely makes me over-think even more. Most of my closest friends are over-thinking enablists. 😁

Anyway…I do think those sorts of behaviors can undermine our DD or D/s especially if I am able to get away with them. I think it’s sort of topping from the bottom but without the intentionally manipulative part, or at least they can cross into topping behavior. But the fact that they aren’t intentional doesn’t mean they couldn’t be harmful still.

CD has never accused me of topping from the bottom (TFTB), even though I am guilty of those sorts of things sometimes. He kinda thinks for me (and many submissives like me) the concept does more harm than good. From the beginning of when we started DD I was so worried about TFTB just because I had seen that label used on DD forums in such a negative context. I thought the worst possible thing a submissive could do would be to TFTB, but I also thought TFTB could be really minor accidental things. Like if you ask for something that your Dominant/HoH doesn’t want to give you then I thought that could be TFTB! Which is ludicrous. Respectfully asking is not topping and that mindset would encourage a submissive to basically never use their voice which isn’t good. But I had seen that sort of example talked about so I thought it could be TFTB. So early on I basically was so worried about TFTB that I hesitated to ever speak up. But also, advocating for myself just difficult for me anyway, so me worrying about being too pushy or demanding was just silly. So CD has spent a lot of effort in encouraging me to use my voice and to speak up since we started DD. I’ve come really far in my ability to communicate but it’s still not natural for me, it still takes a lot of conscious effort in some cases. And I still just fail to do the right thing sometimes, honestly. I still sometimes try to force myself to swallow feelings instead of being open about them with CD and things like that. I think it’s something that I’ll have to continue to work on for years to come.

So anyway…because of those reasons, CD has always basically rejected the idea of me topping from the bottom. “You can only top from the bottom if I let you.” he has said to me many times in the past when I’ve talked to him about worrying about topping. 🙈 Not gonna lie, I find that statement super hot.

But he would rather make it his job to not let me top from the bottom than leave it as my responsibility to never come close to topping because I err on the not speaking up side most of the time as it is..and he doesn’t want to do anything to encourage more of that. Where if it was viewed as a really naughty thing if I accidentally top from the bottom then I would err even more on the ‘don’t speak up’ side. 

Anyway, when I overstep, he just calls me out for it and that’s that. It’s not a huge issue or something he punishes me for. But I do think those behaviors can undermine our DD or D/s if it were allowed to persist.

[packaginginsight]

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[daresplaining]

cutest matt/kirsten moment?

    Oh boy, that’s a challenge, since their entire relationship was (and will hopefully continue to be– fingers crossed that Kirsten comes back for good in Zdarsky’s run!) extremely cute. But one of my favorite moments, and one that I’ve wanted to write a post about anyway because it epitomizes their dynamic and Waid’s run in general, is the end of volume 4 #10 (by Mark Waid, Chris Samnee, and Matt Wilson): 

Kirsten: “And you? How’s your head?”

Matt: “Me? I’m fine.”

Kirsten: “I– It seems pretty obvious to me that those kids did a number on your inner Matt. Tore up some mental floorboards. Are you really okay, or is this ‘fake it ‘til you make it’ mode?”

Matt: “They churned up a little grit, but it’s settled. I fake nothing. I am ducky, ma’am. Beautiful day, lovely company, wrongs avenged… Life is pretty spectacular. See ya tomorrow, beautiful.”

     We get this gorgeous wordless page of an obviously depressed Matt going home to wallow in his pain alone. 

    We get the double-Ds in the bottom corner that signal the end of the issue. 

    We get the letters page. 

    And then…

Matt: “Hey–”

Kirsten: “‘Ducky’? Who says that? Did you really fool anyone into believing you were your own twin brother once? Because I have seen horses on Mexican soap operas that are better actors than you!”

Matt: “–there. I just… I feel like talking. You don’t have to come over or anything…”

Kirsten: “Of course I don’t. I never left. Thanks for letting me in.”

    It’s been four years since this issue came out, and I still remember reading it for the first time because of how impactful this ending is. 

    Waid’s run is about forward motion– about Matt trying to find healing amid continuously difficult circumstances. It’s a deeply emotional run, rooted in the evolving relationships between its characters, and it places its stories firmly within the context of Daredevil history while also trying to move the comic, and Matt, into new territory. I won’t say that Matt’s relationship with Kirsten is utterly unique among DD’s love stories, because it’s not. I stand by the assertion that all of Matt’s romantic relationships have been meaningful, no matter how they may have ended. But Kirsten is a character very much in conversation with the history of romance in DD comics. Kirsten is almost constantly empowered by the narrative. She is an active force in Matt’s life. She breaks up with him because she is afraid of being relegated to the role of “Daredevil’s girlfriend” (read: eventually dead or damaged). And she engages with Matt in a direct way, refusing to let him fall into patterns of behavior that have become time-honored DD traditions. With her help (and Foggy’s too, of course), Matt’s not-exactly-healthy “fake it ‘til you make it” approach to moving forward translates into actual growth and healing. 

    And this scene is a perfect example. It’s obvious that he is lying about being “fine” in that initial conversation. The reader knows Matt well enough to realize that, and so does Kirsten. But he dismisses her concerns and goes home to handle his depression alone. This is standard Matt behavior. He closes down and turns inward when faced with pain, and almost always chooses to cope with it by himself rather than seeking help from others. That image of Matt lying by himself in the dark could be right out of any issue of Bendis’ or Brubaker’s runs. It’s visually reminiscent of a scene from “Born Again”. It’s the classic Matt Murdock Downward Spiral™ that every Daredevil fan instantly recognizes. And the issue “ends” there because Waid knows the reader assumes it will. Because that’s how it always goes in these situations: Matt is depressed and just hides it. Period. But then the unexpected happens. Matt makes a change. He reaches out for help, and finds that Kirsten is right there waiting, because she believed that in spite of everything, he was capable of making that change. It speaks to how well they know each other, and to the positive influence they have on each other– the idea that someone can date Matt without being destroyed by the experience. That it can actually yield positive results. And now I’m honestly on the verge of tears while writing this, because that is damn powerful (and very cute, too).   

[fortunatelylori]

A lot of people thought Arya was acting OOC in s7. To me it was more of the same. They've always used Arya to force sides between her and Sansa. And it's very black and white. Arya always sees the worst in Sansa. Or what she thinks is the worst. It just looks worse when they are basically adults and she's acting like a petulant child. My hope is that they really become sisters and see the value in each other. Do you see this happening in S8?

To follow up on my ask. Arya also still holds on to some of her earlier childhood perceptions- about Jon (he can do no wrong) about Sansa (she is all about herself) and according to the clip about Dragons (in awe about stories she’s heard). Do you see this having a role in her arc in s8? A lot of her “unreliable” POV set the tone for these characters and the GAs perception. Jon’s a hero. Sansa’s a useless female. And Dany’s her destined bff because she loves dragons and is an atypical female.

Hey, nonnie!

You pose a series of very interesting but quite hard to answer questions. I say it’s hard to answer because firstly we need to take into account the differences between book Arya and show Arya, as well as the Ds inability to write positive female relationships. On top of that, there’s also the trauma that both Sansa and Arya have experienced, the issues they had as children, their very different personalities and ultimately what their story arcs are, or rather what we can theorize their endgame arcs will be. 

So the subject of Arya and Sansa’s relationship becomes hard to tackle. Particularly since we tend to pick sides, independent of where in the fandom we are placed. Arya stans will always take Arya’s side in everything, even when Arya behaves in truly terrifying ways (like threatening to cut off her sister’s face) and Sansa and Jonsa stans are somewhat reluctant to look at things from Arya’s perspective (while not excusing her behavior) and talk about how Sansa could have potentially handled things better in relation to her sister in season 7 because for one Sansa is always the one that gets the short end of the stick in the fandom when it comes to her conflicts with Arya (despite the fact that most of them are not her fault) and also because, again and I can’t stress this enough, show Arya went as far as to threaten to cut off her face. 

I think when it comes to show Arya, she’s learned to see the worst in people, period. Because the Ds were so focused in season 7 to screw with the Starks, we didn’t get to see what the fallout of Arya’s stint with the Faceless Men really was in terms of her state of mind. But that must have left some pretty deep scars because Arya went there in good faith, on the word of Jaqen H'ghar and ended up joining a death cult instead. Also the waif must have really shattered what little trust she had left. 

So by the time she reunites with Sansa, Arya is very much not in a good place emotionally. She’s just come from committing mass murder, after all. 

Talking about the Winterfell plot in season 7 is difficult because it’s such a cesspool of bad writing and unearned twists and poor character development, that trying to taking it seriously and actually analyze the characters’ decision making process within that context feels almost not worthwhile. 

However, I will say that during Sansa and Arya first meeting in the crypts, there are a few things that become clear: 

Arya is dissapointed that Jon is not there since he’s the only reason why she decided to come home. However, she isn’t cruel to Sansa, just apprehensive. Sansa for her part is excited to have Arya back home but she’s pretty awkward around her as well because she doesn’t quite know how to behave. However, once the ice is broken so to speak and they hug for the second time, it’s actually a very sweet moment between the two of them. Which is why the rest of the plot pisses me off as much as it does. 

In season 7 we get another clue that Sansa does know Arya as well as accept her for who she is, when she goes to the crypts knowing that Arya would be there. This is after talking to Brienne in season 6 and smiling at the thought of Arya not being dressed like a lady. “No, she wouldn’t be,” Sansa says. So it’s actually inaccurate to say that Sansa doesn’t value Arya for who she is.

Unfortunately the same can’t be said of Arya who from the first moment she meets Sansa in the crypts begins to be dismissive of her. She’s slightly incredulous that Jon left Sansa in charge and things only escalate from there. 

Both these girls have huge trust issues that impede them from treating each other like family. It becomes even more apparent that the only reason why Jon and Sansa’s reunion went as smoothly as it did was because of Jon’s willingness to welcome Sansa with open arms and no apprehension. 

Sansa tries to do the same with Arya but she doesn’t quite manage to go all the way.  Arya for her part is slightly emotionally cut-off even in the beginning of season 7, which is why probably people feel she was acting OOC. I’m not sure she was but rather that we are not given the proper context as to what has made Arya even more emotionally distant. I’m going to assume that the Faceless Men and the killing of the Freys had an impact on her state of mind but I would have appreciated the writers actually doing the work to present that as opposed to just filming LF smirking in dark corners every other episode. 

Then everything is, of course, derailed by Littlefinger so we never see the slow progression of Sansa and Arya’s relationship. But I will say that in order for them to have a real sibling relationship, two things need to happen in season 8: 

Arya needs to let go of her internalized misogyny and treat Sansa with respect. Not more digs at her liking to knit or enjoying pretty dresses. No more assumptions that Sansa took the Lord’s Chamber because she’s always liked “nice things”. I mean, she didn’t even know what the context of that was. She didn’t know that Jon had the Lord’s Chamber prepared for Sansa and that she didn’t take it for herself. She doesn’t know the full extent of Jon and Sansa’s relationship. And she doesn’t know any of those things because she doesn’t ask. She just jumps to conclusions. She needs to actually give Sansa the benefit of the doubt and stop attacking her at the slightest provocation. 

For Sansa’s part, she needs to lower her guard and let Arya in more. Be more vulnerable around her. She’s never going to win the stone face, tough as nails competition with Arya. She’s much better at it than Sansa. The only way she can have a relationship with Arya is if she opens up and let’s Arya get to know her better. She also needs to accept that not everyone is going to be as patient or understanding with her as Jon is. I’m not blaming Sansa for her traumas but looking from the outside, it’s actually pretty hard to deal and relate to someone who is actively trying to keep everyone at arms length and Arya simply does not have the kind of personality that can deal with that in the optimum way. 

What I’m trying to say is that Arya and Sansa’s relationship is a work in progress. And I do hope that at some point they will end up being the true sisters that they’re supposed to be. They’ve both been through a lot and they need each other. However, for that to happen they would both need to put in the work and, most importantly, the Ds would have to be capable of writing it. While I think the first can be achieved, I’m not that sure the second is since the Ds prioritize everything in this story above female relationships. 

Arya also still holds on to some of her earlier childhood perceptions- about Jon (he can do no wrong) about Sansa (she is all about herself)

I can’t really fault Arya for idealizing Jon. He was her closest sibling, her big brother, her protector and number one fan. The thought of Jon kept Arya going through some pretty horrible experiences so I don’t think she will ever care about Sansa the way she cares about Jon. When push comes to shove, she’ll always take Jon’s side over Sansa’s, unless Jon does something truly inexcusable, like let’s say give away Arya’s childhood home to a tyrant with nukes … or something like that … just an example, mind you. 

So it’s really on Jon, particularly if Jonsa happens, to try to keep these relationships separate and make sure that Sansa doesn’t feel cornered, so to speak. It’s not really fair to him to have to play referee that but that’s what faux-incest does. It inevitably complicates family relationships. lol 

according to the clip about Dragons (in awe about stories she’s heard)

Again, I’m not sure this is quite odd. Dragons ARE fascinating creatures. They’re huge, they fly, they breathe fire. It’s normal to be in awe of them at first so I don’t see anything wrong with Arya being interested in them. That doesn’t mean she’s going to continue being in awe of them once she realizes the damage they can cause. 

Dany’s her destined bff because she loves dragons and is an atypical female.

This is a fandom invention made by people that hate Sansa and Jonsa. It has nothing to do with Arya’s storyline. Arya stans simply want Arya to continue to hate Sansa because that validates their own hatred of her and D*ny stans want Arya to become D*ny’s handmaiden because she’s Jon’s favorite sister and, as such, her stamp of approval means Jon is going to continue to be D*ny’s lover. It’s insulting to Arya because she’s more than a shoulder to cry on for D*ny and it’s insulting to Jon because he’s a grown ass man who shouldn’t need his little sister to approve of the woman he wants to be in a relationship with. 

But the problem with D*ny’s fandom is that it’s essentially a black hole where every other character is sucked of life and energy in order to feed the “D*ny is a godess who deserves for everyone to worship at her feet” mindset. 

As far as Arya’s arc in season 8, I think Maisie really laid it out for people: 

Maisie Williams: “There’s this split with Arya between trying to be who she wants to be — getting back to that naiveté and innocence with her family — and her unfinished business.”

 Arya will have to grapple with who she has become, her desire for revenge, her list and trying to reconcile that with being back home with her family and trying to get back to her season 1 self. I also suspect the Faceless Men will make a come back in her storyline because that arc is not concluded and cults tend to stalk ex-members through most of their lives. I think she will be pretty involved in the White Walker war but I’m not sure what her story will be post that or how all of the elements in her plot will play out in relationship to the larger aspects of the story. 

I feel like I’ve rambled quite a bit in this answer but I hope there’s some value in what I’ve said. :)

Thanks for the ask!