#he lost his cousin and she lost her mom
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mcssages · 2 months ago
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⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Elation was clear on her face as he asked her to be his girlfriend for real. Finally, she could say that she was taken. A sort of rite of passage she missed out on was being offered. “ Yes ! ! I promise to take care of you , too , Yoosung . ” His ideal concept of a man was admirable, to say the least, but she didn’t want him to get too caught up in what that meant traditionally. He didn’t need to conceal his feelings or fret over providing for her. They would get through everything together and support one another no matter the obstacle. Many storms were brewing within her at any given moment. Clouds heavy with the weight of the hand she was dealt in her formative years. Her first step toward healing was reaching out to find a connection. The next step would be opening her heart to Yoosung. To her, there was no better person to take that arduous leap with.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀” And please don’t worry about the kiss ! It was better than I imagined . ” Admitting she had imagined it caused her complexion to tint a rosy shade; it was true. He had given her an entire grand, sweeping, romantic gesture. As far as firsts went, she doubted anything could top it until their next one. Surely she must have had admirers aside from him, but she couldn't name them. Dating was the last thing on her mind until recently. “ Wow 
 My first boyfriend . I wish I could have introduced you to my mother . Ah , maybe it’s too early for that anyway . ” If he blinked, he’d miss the brief sadness that darkened her bright irises. None of her new friends knew too much about her past, so that subtle remark was more of a big deal than she was letting on. Without question, Chaesun believed that Chaeyeon would have liked him. She would have asked him a million questions and told him all about the places she had been, whether anyone asked her to or not. Traveling for her career had left her with plenty of stories. What her daughter wouldn’t give to have to apologize to her significant other on her behalf. As for her father, he wouldn’t be getting a blessing from him either
 wherever he was.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀A variety of emotions were happening at once for her, but she wouldn’t let the negatives ruin this for her. “ Actually , I should probably introduce you to my best friend . ” A wide smile lifted her cheekbones as she broke away from him to go toward the big sliding door that led to the balcony of her apartment. Her tiny frame knelt and held out her hands. A blur plopped into her arms. “ I know , I know . It’s been a couple of days since I left out food . Grumble at me later . ” A joyful laugh escaped her as she stood, slid the door shut with her foot, and returned to her boyfriend’s side. In her grasp was a large orange and white cat. It looked smug and content, seeming indifferent to the new presence.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀Her head tilted and lowered so she could whisper to the fluffball. “ This is the boy I was telling you about . ” Chaesun was being playful for the most part, but the truth was that this cat was her only companion before meeting the RFA. He knew all of this mysterious girl’s secrets. “ Yoosung , this is Curry . Well , it’s a cat , obviously , but I call him Curry ~ ” Brown eyes similar in shade to the one holding him finally opened and lifted to the blonde as his fluffy tail wrapped around her wrist and he began to purr loudly.
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The smile on Chaesun's lips when he gave her this answer was something that he felt certain that he could sit by and admire forever. Even the curl of her lips was attractive to him. Was that just what being in love was like? It brought out so much in himself, and he hoped that it was all she had hoped for. That she wouldn't get cold feet, seeing more of himself.
She had another question for him, and he perked back up at this. “Of course! What's your next question?” Something that he would need to prepare for
 For someone who was able to make him feel so comfortable and understood, she was good at keeping him on his toes, too. Her ability to pull off both so fluidly was just another reason that he loved her.
He watched as her hand left his shoulder and pressed to her lips, drawing his eyes there again. Was it her way of thinking, or was it a hint about what was on her mind? He was still working on spotting all of her little quirks now that they had met in person, and he could witness her in real life. They were a couple now, weren't they? He certainly hoped so. Her statement regarding his first kiss did take him by surprise, though.
“Really? That was your first kiss?” He'd assumed someone as beautiful and kind as her must have had some previous experience with romance. Even if she hadn't engaged, he could hardly believe that he was the first one who had ever fallen for her. “I'm sorry! If I'd have known, I'd have asked beforehand.” He hadn't wanted to make her uncomfortable by being overly forward, but he wanted to display for her that he had matured. Don't get him wrong, that was his first kiss, too. But the fact that it was hers was far more pressing to him.
With his free hand, he brushed a few of her brown locks behind her ear, leaning in a bit to lower his voice. “But in a way, I'm glad that I was your first kiss. You were mine, too.” Maybe it had been obvious at the time because there was some clumsiness in his movements, but this could also have been attributed to his recent change in vision and hospital stint (that he probably shouldn't have left). There was something he found comforting in that, knowing that they were both one another's first kiss. There could be many more firsts in their future together. “I want you to be my real girlfriend so bad
 Can we be a real couple? I promise I'll take care of you, Chaesun
”
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aquaticfreakshow-sys · 2 months ago
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Too many people are dying around me lately.
#tw venting#vent post#cw death#tw death#my stepdad has lung cancer. starting chemo soon.#my grandmother is recovering from surgery. breast cancer.#my cousins stepmother passed last friday. my uncle is dying and his closest family hasn't said whats going on. wont tell.#its so hard to be happy and want to talk to anyone lately. im sorry friends#plus my mom has a pinched nerve in her upper spine and had failed surgery for it twice now. her hands and arms are numb. her legs too#shes fighting to move at all. theres times ive woken up to her screaming because of pain and the doctors wont help her#my grandmother has been declining really fast. she doesn't remember half our family. shes getting confused and lost and easily irritated.#she cant function without my grandfather in her sight. ive been in charge of watching her days on end. im stressed#i was promised to be paid for it and my grandfather refused to actually pay me. unrelated but he threw my laptop away.#and he put my cats tree thing outside and i cant carry it back inside on my own. my cat is never allowed outside thats dangerous.#my stepdad keeps calling me pathetic for how thin i am. (87lbs)#and my relationship has been a complete mess. im stressed and struggling to find things to look forward to. im tired#im tired of being triggered and neglected and yelled at and overwhelmed. im tired of everything#my mom promised to watch a movie with me soon but every time i remind her she just says Later. its been weeks.#im burnt out and bored all the time. ive lost access to my outlets and my special interests (not mystreet. thankfully lol)#i need to get my id and a haircut. i need to dye my hair i genuinely cannot handle my natural hair it makes me dysphoric. im struggling.#im on the edge of getting kicked out of my house. if anyone sees my messy room im getting kicked out.#i need a break. a nap. idk
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bloggerspam · 4 months ago
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Cousins, Clones and Conning the Family
Family Reunion AU, where cousins Maddie and Clark try to smuggle their clone children into the family reunion that happens every 5 years and pretend they've been there the whole time.
Spoiler alert, one of them does significantly better than the other. Mainly Kid POV, and also on AO3! Multichapter. ===
The problem with big family reunions, Danny thinks, is how utterly fucking lost Danny is all the gosh dang time.
"Well now, you're Maddie's son now ain'tcha? How old is you now?" The woman standing before him guffaws, ruffling his hair. He lets it, trying desperately to remember the speadsheet Jazz created for the family and (obviously) failing to recall this woman's name.
Agatha? Selene? Riri? No, Aunt Riri is over there—
"Yes ma'am," Danny smiles up at the unnamed aunt, accent going a little twangy like it always does at these functions, "I'll be hittin' 17 in a coupl'a months or so."
"My, my, you youngin's sure grow like weeds!" The aunt coos, gesturing to a height by her hip, "You used to be this tall last time I saw ya, betcha don't r'member me now do ya?"
It's a trap. If he says he doesn't remember, which is expected at reunions such as these that happen every 5 years or longer, she'll start going on and on about the stories she has of the family. Danny would have to stand here and demure and laugh at these cousins he doesn't really remember too well, but know enough to know that she's gotten them all mixed up.
"Pshaw," Danny doesn't react when a whisper breathes the answer into his ear, "I'd never forget a pretty lady like you, Aunt Helena!"
It works like a charm.
The second he's out of her clutches, he feels around for a cold spot. There, trailing just behind him, is Ellie. She's not invisible anymore, so he tucks her under his arm and bee-lines it towards the metaphorical kid's table.
"Thanks, Ellie. Weren't you supposed to stay with Dad?" Danny leads them around, trying to avoid any other mishaps. "Did Jazz send you?"
"She made me flashcards!" Ellie smirks up at him, ignoring his other question and pulling a corner of an index card out from the palm of her hand. She's always been better than him at manipulating the ecto in her body, for obvious reasons. Danny's not bitter about it at all.
"Damn, all I got was a presentation." Danny grumbles. Jazz and Dad somehow know every single one of their family members, which is ludicrous when even Mom doesn't know despite it being her side of the family.
He still can't really believe how big his family actually is, but he supposes that's natural. He only sees them once every couple of years, the only relative they see even on a remotely regular basis is Aunt Alicia, who has no kids and refuses (rightfully so) to remarry.
Danny's fine with that, he gets the best of both worlds after all. Cozy holiday stays with Aunt Alicia and he has places to stay all over the country if he really needs it, no questions asked.
Plus, crazy as they can be, these reunions have always felt like a big country festival for Danny.
"She likes me better." Ellie snickers, tugging him back to avoid Uncle Charlie's drunken stumbling.
"Everyone likes you better," Danny rolls his eyes, pushing Ellie's head down and ducking to avoid a stray kid's toy flying overhead, "I like you better."
As if somehow knowing Danny's being self deprecating again, Jazz shows up to smack him on the head. "I like both of you equally in special ways."
Danny makes a disgruntled noise, grumbling as he rubs his head, "Mooooom, Jazz is therapizing me again!"
Even though he was only half joking, Mom does show up specifically to laugh at him. "Honey, your father and I love all our children equally!"
"It's a secret," Dad says from behind Jazz, kids climbing all over him, "But Ellie's the favorite!"
"Jack!" Mom yells at the same time Jazz screams, "Dad!"
Ellie dissolves into giggles, making everyone but Dad helplessly laugh. It's good to see Ellie laugh, she does it a lot but it still doesn't feel like it's enough. Danny picks her up, giggling mess and all, and tosses her at Dad.
She lands, as expected, straight into the pile of children who scream and accept her easily.
"Nice." Jazz chuckles, this time patting him gently on his head in approval. Danny shrugs, dusting his hands off and heading back towards salvation: the food.
He and Jazz mingle a bit, exchanging greetings and school updates with the Aunts and Uncles they occasionally bump into, making their way slowly through and keeping an eye out for the other cousins.
Eventually, Jazz gets nabbed by Cousin Dermot just as Danny reaches the table, tossing a pig-in-a-blanket into his mouth and chewing with glee. The locals of the family usually something potluck style—and though Dad's genes are strong and the Fentons can't cook, the bulk of the Walker family definitely can.
In fact—Great Aunt Martha said she was going to bring some mini pies right?
Danny spies a pile of them in the middle of the large table and reaches for one, only to bump into the spikes of black fingerless gloves.
The gloves are, of course, attached to someone else.
It's a boy, around Danny's age, in a spiked leather jacket (matching the gloves) and white tee shirt with ripped jeans. He's got the tiniest John Lennon sunglasses and piercings everywhere—it makes Danny squint at him, with how much the sun keeps catching on everything—the spikes, the piercings, the metal arms of the sunglasses, is this dude also wearing lipgloss?
Danny's not judging, a guy can appreciate proper hydration to avoid chapped lips or even just for the aesthetic, but it doesn't help with the glare.
"Sorry, my bad." Right, okay, city slicker then. Not that Danny's much of a country boy or anything. "Did my spikes get you?"
Maybe Cousin Jenny brought a plus one? Danny eyes the guys jeans—they look tight. Was Cousin Mark into guys? Is this dude a guy or possibly a masculine girl? Ack. Stupid sun frying his brain.
"It's okay," Danny says, blinking away and tossing mini pie to the other person. "Aunt Martha's pies are worth the minor injury. You comin' in with one of the cousins?"
"Uh, yeah." Citypunk looks at Danny nervously, "I mean, I am one of the cousins." The guy bites his lips, shrugging, "Uh, one of the Kents, actually. Ma's real proud of the pies."
Danny blinks.
"
You're not Jon." Danny says, very carefully and slowly.
"
No
" Stranger Danger draws his vowels out, "I'm Conner. His, uh, older brother? Can't blame ya for being confused though!"
"
You can't." Danny agrees, because out of the two them, Danny definitely isn't to blame for the confusion.
"Yeah, lots of cousins, and all," Curiouser and Curiouser beams at Danny, shrugging and rubbing the back of his neck, "Plus, I know Jon's more sociable at these things."
"Right, he really is rambunctious, that guy." Danny nods, as if that's the problem, and not the fact that Danny knows every single cousin his age. Big as his family might be, Danny's generation came out the smallest. Cousin Jenny and Cousin Mark are the only two his age.
With Ellie and Jazz each being four years younger and older than Danny, and the other cousins being well beyond those ages in gaps, there is no way this guy is a cousin.
"Don't worry," Punk'd laughs self deprecatingly, "I know he's the favorite. even if Mom won't admit it."
Danny feels a vein throb in his right temple.
He's unsure if he should slowly back away or get up in the guy's face. It's just—now that Danny thinks about it, if wedding crashing is a thing, does that mean family reunion crashing is a thing too?
What's the protocol here? Should he fight this guy for having the audacity to use Great Aunt Martha's name in vein?
Wait, no, that's Jesus.
Is Great Aunt Martha Catholic? ...Is that the one with Jesus, or was that Christianity?
Wait, Danny, you knuckle head, Uncle Clark was adopted. Conner could be adopted too! Even though he looks exactly like that Uncle Clark when he was younger

"Is this your first time at a reunion?" Danny ventures, "We only have 'em—"
"Every 5 years, yeah." Conner huffs, "Nah, I just used to hide with Ma in the kitchens."
Okay, clearly Great Aunt Martha isn't in on this, because Danny used to hide with Great Aunt Martha in the kitchens. Danny's about to lose his shit on this guy—or maybe sic Ellie on him. Whichever is worse.
"Oh yeah? That's must have been cozy." Danny grits out, taking a deep breath so his eyes don't flash.
"Yeah, it was!" Conner beams shyly. though all Danny sees is a smug smirk. "She's real nice-like, I'm sure you know. Real lucky to have her for a Grandma."
"Real lucky." Danny agrees, because Great Aunt Martha really was one of the better Great Aunts. Though most of the Walker Kin were hardy and tough, in that badass kind of way. Mom really liked Great Aunt Martha's lessons on bull wranglin' back when they were younger. "Speakin' of, she ain't here?"
"Nah," Conner makes a sad little pout. "She hadta stop by Auntie Agatha's for an emergency. She left two days ago, so she's runnin' a little behind. Cl—Dad went to go pick her up."
Danny squints at the possible imposter. That sounded like he was going to call Uncle Clark by his name, which makes things confusing for Danny. Guy will call Aunt Lois Mom but he won't call Uncle Clark Dad easily?  Maybe he's a kid Aunt Lois had before marrying Uncle Clark? But Aunt Lois would never hide a kid, and Great Aunt Martha would never let her treat a kid like that. That's not even taking into account that this kid looks way too much like Uncle Clark for it to be a fucking coincidence. Plus, Danny knew about Aunt Aggie's emergency and how she might not be making it to this year's reunion—this gives Conner's story credibility.
But Danny knows that the best way to lie is with truths, even if the truths are confusing.
So what the hell is going on? Is Clockwork fucking with him? Did an alternate timeline get switched with his?
It wouldn't be the first time, but Clockwork at least had the decency to let him know at least.
"What the—" Danny blinks, as Conner picks up a very familiar, eye-searingly green colored post it note that was stuck to the plate under a mini pie. "Is this yours?"
"Yeah," Danny huffs. taking the note and rolling his eyes as lies roll off his tongue, "Sorry, y'know how it goes with Jazz."
"Oh, yeah." And Danny has to give it Conner, he at least rolls with the punches real quick, "I heard about it but didn't ever uh, see it in action."
"Really?" Danny feigns surprise, head pulsing in irritation at the words all is as it should be written in purple pen. There's no mocking smiley face, but Danny feels it in the ink anyway. "Thought she got all the cousins at the last reunion."
Conner chuckles nervously, "Oh, yeah—Guess I'm just, easy to miss you know?"
"Uh huh
" Danny eyes the guy and his piercings and very distinct style, from the tip of his clearly styled hair and needlessly ostentatious big black studded boots. "
Right."
Conner laughs, wincing. "These're new. High school debut."
"
You're a freshman?" Danny tilts his head, squinting.
"Junior." Conner automatically corrects, before stiffening. "
I just wanted to reinvent myself for Junior Prom."
"Right." Danny repeats, drawing out the vowels and finally giving up. He can tell Conner already knows what Danny is going to ask, and is trying to exit this conversation post-haste.
Fortunately for Conner and unfortunately for Danny, Jazz comes barreling in, almost knocking the former out in the process as she grips the latter's biceps tightly with her eyes wide and nervous.
Unfortunately for Conner and fortunately for Danny, though the look in Jazz's eyes thoroughly distracts the latter and gives the former a window to escape, Jazz's hissed out words end up keeping Conner rooted to the floor.
"Baby Jon has powers!" Jazz hisses as she moves Danny away from the possible imposter a couple feet. Even though she says it low enough for only Danny to hear, Conner's wide eyes as he whips his gaze towards them suggests that Jon's not the only one with powers.
And then words actually register along with that thought.
Danny hisses out the first thing he thinks of. "Since when?? I thought he took after Aunt Lois!"
"Since now," Jazz gruffs, switching her grip to drag Danny away, "and I need you to do something about it!"
"What?" Danny doesn't struggle, going along even as he eyes Conner who seems to be following them at a distance. "Why?"
Jazz pushes him towards the kid's area, rushing out a frantic "He's in the bounce house with Ellie!"
Danny freezes, or tries to even as Jazz keeps tugging him along, before shaking off her hand and booking it towards the bounce house.
Once the bounce house (a castle) comes into view, Danny clocks several things in succession:
One: Ellie and Jon are thankfully the only ones in the bounce house right now.
Two: Ellie and Jon are laughing, and through the mesh Danny can see Ellie watching Jon jump way too high to be considered normal.
And three: The bounce house is about to fucking tip over.
There's a gaggle of Aunts herding the younger cousins towards the food that's dense enough for cover, but sparse enough for Danny to dash through.
Between one blink and the next, he disappears.
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rainandsentences · 20 days ago
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Always Almost, Conrad
season three!conrad fisher x female!best friend
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synopsis: when her chest physically hurts and her heart flutters violently for him, how would she tell him? you don’t tell that stuff to your best friend
 do you?
rate: 16+
warnings: angst!
a/n: in honor of tsitp new season
 i was literally imagining this as i watched the new episodes. 💀 drop in the comments: team conrad or team jeremiah? 🧐 (i’ll read and judge quietly
)
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The pizza box was open between them, half-eaten and lukewarm, and she watched Conrad pick olives off his slice with the kind of lazy precision that only came after hours in traffic. He looked tired, older in a way that made her heart ache—more grown-up than she ever wanted him to be.
“You know you could just order without olives, right?” she teased, leaning back against the couch cushions, trying to sound light.
He smirked. “And rob you of this precious moment of judgment? Never.”
“Okay, you’re such a pick me.” She scoffs.
“I love all the ingredients this pizza has
 except this guys.” He picked up an olive that she grabbed from his hand to eat it after.
“You have no brain.” She looked away.
“More than you? Absolutely.” He chuckles as she pushes him.
“Bitch” She mumbles as he only smiles.
It was always like this now. Comfortable, familiar and relaxed, she still came over without warning and he texted her sometimes dumb when he couldn’t sleep.
They were like that, simple and easy to be around each other. Like they used to do back then

They’d grown up together, met at second grade in school when he snitched on her over being copying on a test. They were called at the principal office as she killed him with her gaze, after that, she swore to herself that she would hate him forever. The pledge didn’t lasted till third grade when she was paired with him to do a science project, there’s where they became friends and after, the bestest of friends. So they took her to Cousins Beach for the first time in the summer vacations of fifth grade; they introduced her to the Conklins and quickly they were racing down the dock to see who could cannonball the loudest.
As they grew up, things changed between them and all the other participants of the group.
At fourteen she could see how Belly looked at him with awe so she teased him about it.
At sixteen, she barely saw him. He was moody all the time, he started to see other girls in high school but occasionally they had time to hang out.
Then with seventeen, cancer. His bad mood increased as her mom was fighting the horrific battle against the illness.
She lost, and he also lost his spark.
At eighteen, she realized her stomach dropped every time he smiled at her.
She never told him.
Not when Susannah died. Not when he left for Brown. Not when he and Belly finally broke up and she held him in her arms, rubbing circles into his back while he cried like a child.
She stayed, obviously.
Now, he was recently out of med school,few kilometers away, but still called her when his car wouldn’t start or when he forgot how to cook rice. She was living downtown, working finance hours, and pretending she didn’t care that her phone lit up with his name more than anyone else’s.
But it was different now. She was different.
He still talked about Belly sometimes.
Not in the same way—not with longing or pain. But he mentioned her. Little things. How she was doing. How they’d been kids, really.
And every time, she felt it again.
That he would never look at her the way he looked at Belly. Not then. Not now.
Because she heard him.
“how many times you’ve been in love?” “once”
So she started pulling away in the only ways she knew how.
“Busy week, sorry I missed your call.”
“Can’t make dinner, work stuff. Rain check?”
He let her. For a while

But he was too smart and knew her too well to figure out something was off.
“Did I do something?” he asked one night, voice low, cracking slightly at the end.
She looked up from her phone. They were sitting on his fire escape, city lights buzzing in the distance.
“What? No. Just tired.”
He watched her. “You always say that now.”
She forced a smile. “It’s always true.”
He didn’t push, because he never did. He just passed her the beer they were sharing and leaned his head back against the railing.
She turned away so he wouldn’t see the tears she wasn’t ready to explain.
The night it finally happened, it was raining.
He offered to walk her to her car after dinner. They hadn’t talked much during the meal, both fidgety and off-center. She didn’t know if he felt it too.
She almost didn’t say anything. Almost climbed into her car and drove off into the familiar ache of never knowing.
But she was tired.
Of pretending, of the constant pain in her chest, of her mind.
“Hey,” she said, grabbing his sleeve before he turned away.
He blinked down at her, hair damp and curling at the ends.
“I think I’ve been in love with you for a while now.”
The words left her like a breath she didn’t know she’d been holding.
He froze.
She kept going, quietly.
“I didn’t say anything because
 i know you have been dealing with stuff. And i’ve always supported in everything and i’m glad i’ve been present in almost every step of your life, i know you how much you loved Belly
 
And maybe you still do. I could see how happy you were every time you spoke about her, I didn’t want to lose you for some stupidness of mine. But it hurts now, my chest hurts more every day and i had to say it, i need to
 i’m sorry, Conrad.”
Conrad swallowed hard. Looked down. Then up.
His eyes were so soft it broke her heart.
“You mean everything to me,” he said. “You know that, right?”
She nodded, a lump in her throat.
“But not like that.”
There it was. Kind. Honest. Crushing.
“I don’t want to lie to you,” he added. “If I loved you the way you deserve to be loved, I’d never stop saying it. But I don’t.”
She smiled, even as her heart cracked open.
“I know.” She chuckles as she cleans the tears from her cheeks.
He hugged her, tight, longer. She closed her eyes enjoying his presence, his scent and his touch. Her mind wondered to a universe where that was normal, where that was her present— but when he let go, her eyes open and she’s back there, to her reality. She stepped back, he looked at her softly, not with pity but with understanding.
“Maybe we need some space,” she whispered.
He nodded. “If that’s what you need.”
She looked at him, memorizing his face like it was the last time. Maybe it was.
“Honestly, I didn’t wanted for this to happen
” She scoffs.
“I don’t want to lose you
” He says softly.
“Me neither.”
Conrad smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes either.
“Be careful.” He says softly.
“Yeah.” She says still crying.
“Do you think
 that it could’ve worked out in another life?” She says with a mixture of pain and frustration.
“In another life, maybe.”
Never in this one
 Not a chance
“Funny, in this one still hurts.” She smiles at him, looking at his face for a last time, she turned, walked to her car, and didn’t look back.
And for once, he didn’t follow.
And it was okay.
Because it was almost him.
But for her will always be only him.
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sangunary · 2 months ago
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Hear me out, yandere platonic batfam x reader who has a weak immune system, i think the reader will keep her sickness away from the family, her only source of comfort is her friends and for the batfam i think they will go yandere when zeny collapses maybe And then there goes full yandere, like you will be monitored 24/7, strict rule and blablabla
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- Your Love Is Too Sweet
Yandere Batfam x Sick Reader
SYPNOSIS: Your family love's you too much to listen to your pathetic plea for the sweet taste of death.
Warning: NOT FOR SENSETIVE READER!
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It all began when you were at the ripe age of ten, during school while chasing your friends around the hall your legs gave up on you. Your vision began to blur and saw black patches.
With your little hand you hold onto the wall to support you, the wind knock out of your lungs.
Something heavy was pressing down at your lungs even tho you tried to stood up straight and look up, hoping for more oxygen.
It was so sudden and unexpected, you have been fine and suddenly clutching onto the wall seeking for oxygen. It was a pathetic scene to look at but when it past your friends helped you to clam down.
When you arrived at the eerily haunting manor you called home, you immediately seek for comfort.
"...Dick? Are you busy?"
Your little voice ring out throughout the room. Your last family never listened to you speak, too busy sleeping on the couch or on the ground, their eyelids open in a way it shouldn't be possible.
They were always busy and you ended up having to take care of your baby brother, who wasn't biological your brother but dna meant nothing to a child.
But, you had a new family and your new dad told you to forget so you can have a better future. But you couldn't help but miss them, atleast your mom still listen just she only listen when she took her medicine.
"Sorry, birdie... I have to talk to Kory, go talk to Jay yah? He's at the cave"
Dick with his phone still on his ear, quickly turned your body around and push you out the living room as he nudge you to start walking.
You understand why he was busy with Kory. Lately, Kory doesn't visit anymore...
The last time she visited she went home mad after Barbara mentioned something. You didn't really understand as Damian did cover your ear with his hands, from his expression it seem like a normal conversation but from their body language... opposite story.
After that, nobody mentioned Kory or Dick will cry in his old room, you could clearly hear him apologising and sobbing since your room was next to his.
While picking at your hands you slowly walked towards the entrance of the cave, although you admire your family for prospecting the city, lately you realised how everybody was so disconnected to the family.
It felt like they only have family reunion because it was traditional and not because they wanted to catch up with everyone.
The whole family was indeed present today because Joker escaped from Arkham again... But they all acted like guests visiting their far cousin.
"Jay...? Could you please listen?"
You asked as you sat next to him on the ground, watching up at him fixing his motorcycle.
"Sure, what is it?"
With the opening you began to speak, talking about how you have been feeling under the weather alot.
Sometimes you would wake up and just puke, but you didn't wake anybody up because you felt like it's your responsibility to take care of yourself. Quietly cleaning yourself up and going back to bed.
How you have lost sleep because you kept getting sleep paralysis and how the monster was your biological mother. How she would morphed into this creatures that loves to scream into your ears.
How your mother would carry your baby brother, as their skin began to merged with eachother as you heard bone moving or breaking. It was a hard scene but you couldn't look away.
But, you couldn't do anything but pray to God and go back to bed. You didn't want to burden anyone with your stupid hallucinations.
Jason would replied with 'oh, sucks', 'good', 'hm', 'oh,... He wasn't listening and you just got up and left.
Tim wasn't much help either, the moment you enter his room you always left with atleast three errands from him.
Throw away some paper, get him coffee and tell Alfred that Tim was still in the house so he wouldn't forget to make him dinner as well.
So, you didn't even put him on your list.
He only see you as an errand kid. You doubt he would waste his time to listen to you speak.
"Dad?"
You called for Bruce as you enter his office, filled with pictures so his kids but they felt drain of emotions.
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"I felt sick today"
"Go tell Alfred, sweetheart"
Right, always Alfred but never him. The supposed father.
You couldn't help but felt a huge Disappointment on your heart.
The best batman, the worst father.
He knew the family was slowly drifting away but he was too busy with joker and ivy to even try to find solutions. Too busy saving the city to even save the family he vouch to protect.
With a heavy heart you left, didn't even seek for Alfred he himself was busy.
Having to collect the broken glasses of the family, trying to tape it back. To have the once lively family back to normal.
Damian, too inexperienced in emotions and his grandfather have been trying to take him back.
Stephanie, she was going through alot and she asked to be left alone.
Cass, you and her have no connection. Knowing that she tried to not scared you by avoiding you.
Barbara, the whole city is on her shoulder she and doesn't have time for kids like you.
Duke, depressed after his girlfriend cheated on him.
Even tho they themselves were heros, they couldn't save themselves from crumbling into pieces.
For year's you have been silently taking medicine after watching videos and self diagnosing yourself.
Cleaning after yourself at night when you had an accident, buying medicine from shady places. You tried everything to fix your body, but barely nothing worked.
You always fell into sickness the moment the season changed, it get abit cold, virus is around and even just from standing too long under the sun.
Your friends were your only source of comfort as they would bring you some sickness pill or even painkiller to stop your stomachache.
Your family was falling apart and your friends kindly took you into each of their family's and treated you like their own.
They were truly God sent. And you were greatful, trying your best to spend as much as time you could with your new found family.
At night while studying you would fall asleep and you prefer to sleep on the cold wooden desk than on your bed. You don't get bed dreams when you're not resting on your bed.
You hated your bed at times, because you always see your brother and mother. Their skin becoming one, your brother sweet voice would turn into one that sounds like a wild animal and a baby shared a voice box.
Your mother or the one from your hallucinations would try to touch or caress your face, but it was drain of affection and emotion.
It felt like metal being dragged across your cheeks, her messy hair highlighting her eyes and the nasty yellow-ish slash under her eyelids.
And your brother body was at her upper waist towards her upper belly, she was never good at holding him. She was always trembling and the amount of black bruises on her arms made her uncomfortable, to the point that she avoids having direct skin contact with you or your brother.
Even without those nightmare, your stomachache was enough to make you squirm around at your bed so you instead always choose to study during any moment.
With drools down your mouth and book still open, you would wake up with a blanket on your body. Somebody did check in on you, which is surprising as everybody in the family were going through dirt.
But one day you collapse suddenly.
It was at the Manor, while looking at the pictures of your family. Everybody was present even aunt katie, a big smile and you in the middle with a shy smile.
Your first day with them, after you lost your world. Bruce gave you a new one, where you can start from the beginning.
But, everything just crumble down into pieces after one year in the family.
Bruce gave you a world that was born to crumble. Everyone were so distant now, even Christmas left like a drought.
You overheard Alfred talking To Bruce about this matter. Telling him on how he shouldn't just watch as his family is slowly breaking into shards, how he would regret is sooner.
Bruce argues that they were just modling out of their shell, becoming a new person. Escaping from his hands and finding their own path.
Alfred told him, no matter how old or young they are they will always be his kid. Kid's that need their Father to help them become into a brand new person, they needed his hands to hold theirs so they won't be afraid to fall.
Bruce was stubborn, seeing himself as the villain in his kid's life. He doesn't want to be involved in their life because he would definitely ruin it, and if that happens there is no point in Batman if he would just be a bad guy to his kids.
After you collapse you woke up to a place that looked like an hospital but looking at the machine hooked up to you was definitely not one.
Several amounts of wire that drilled through your skin to supply you with the essential to keep you breathing, began to felt like machines sucking every cell out of your body.
The cold metal against your back felt like your skin was merging with it and even lifting even a finger sent immense pain through out your body.
You couldn't tell how long you have been laying there but, it had taken a toll on your body.
The familiar scent of medicine and a weird scent of rotting corpse filled your nostril. You couldn't help but cover your mouth and nose to stop the noise but it always remain there.
Your nails were long, lip felt chap and everything felt new. You couldn't move your hand so freely and even struggle to move your left leg.
Beside you Cass was sleeping. Her hand holding your right tightly Like you would slip away like a balloon if she wasn't to hold onto you.
But when you move your leg she jolted awake. Now you understood.
Cass was the one who checked up on you at night, the one to cover you in blanket and left pills when she observed that you have a fever.
"You are awake!?"
She seem delighted, you felt like you could see a ghast of anxiety leaving her body as you tried to speak.
But nothing came out.
"It's alright. Rest. I am here"
She spoke gently, her hand still on yours. The fear you used to phantom seems you disappear. She wasn't so bad afterall.
After your slumber, each of your siblings came in one by one to not put pressure onto you.
Dick was with Kory who smother you with hugs and kisses on her forehead and cheeks, while Dick asked her to not burry you in affection too early as you might still be in pain.
They repatch their relationship because after you collapse and Stephanie found you, Dick went to her seeking for comfort.
He was stressed out about being a cop and w vigilante barely getting sleeps and all the inhuman behaviour he witnessed were hitting him harder. He knew that his previous family was falling apart and he couldn't do anything... And you the youngest being in coma took a devastating toll on him.
But, Kory listen to him, forgave him and help him took care of you.
Jason look alot better as well. Gave you some treat and told you about the outlaws.
How, he found a meaningful purpose in life. He finally understood why you spend so much time with those brat from school... He would too if he were you.
He also left a small plushie lf superman but alot more bigger and great say's it was from bizzaro, a letter and a gift from Arthemis and a keychain from Roy? He said the real present from Roy would be given when you could drink.
Tim on the other hand, turns out he was in a relationship . After you were in a coma, he started to become more distant from everyone. Whenever anyone entered his room he would looked back hoping to see your little figure. But it was hopeless.
He lost touch and just overwork so he wouldn't have a complete breakdown every minute. And Kon dragged him out of his shell, after a big fight which ended up with both of them tearing at eachother and Kon just confessed.
The same guy who love's to ruin your freshly combed hair and messed with it / freshly ironed clothes and wrinkle it.
Damian was alot more better with emotions now, finding his true path in life and defeating his grandfather.... All that while you were in a coma.
He did briefly mentioned having friends now since you being in a coma awaken something inside of him. He realised how little time some people have so... He volunteered to work in the hospital after a terrible accident and accidentally found a new passion.
Everyone in the family seems to be in good term while you were in a coma. You didn't know if u should be sad or happy since you did miss all the good things.
But at time past everything just went terrible for you.
You could still couldn't move much and you ended up in a wheelchair and they would fought over who gets to hang out with you. You couldn't meet your friends who were extremely worried about you, in the name of protection.
When you felt like your health was peaking the next day you'll be laying down at the same cold mattress, stomach hurting, tears all over your face and having Alfred to inject you with those green liquid.
Those green liquid seems to be the cure to your every problem, although whenever you asked about it no one would speak just a pat and telling you to sleep.
It was getting concerning. Sometimes at night you would always dreamt of the same thing how your mother and baby brother died, she wouldn't let go of him even tho you begged her to.
She hold onto her like her life depends on it... And before you could do anything the explosion engulfed them both... The aftermath wasn't pretty.
Their body melted into eachother... How you saw your mother finger move towards your face, it felt like a horror film. Where the whole movie was centred around you, suffering one after another.
"Bird?"
Jason called out your name, he was one of the people who wouldn't leave you alone at all.
His hand was on your head as he tried to brain your hair for the second time.
"hm?"
you couldn't reply much as you did actually just went through a horrible migraine that came out of the blue.
"Do you wish to be free sometimes?"
He asked, which was quite odd. You looka t his face with didn't tell much either.
"Am I not free?"
You asked curiously, the white blanket that was covering you was now only covering half of your body. As you did sit up straight.
His hand immediately went back to his, as the brain he have been working on for hours with alot of error came undone. His disappointment was clear but he didn't speak up.
Rather he knew the braid would end up looking stiff and maybe even look like a candy caine. Although he wasn't the best at it, it was his best shot at comforting you.
"Nothing, just curious... I'll stay tonight. Can't have you crying at three in the morning cause I definitely won't help you out"
You look at him as he lay down on the other bed which Bruce installed... Saying you need to be under monitor at all times.
"Jay... please what's going on?"
You pleaded, from the way everyone have been Acting you knew only he would tell you the truth.
"You didn't survive... you didn't went to coma"
He began, still he was very calm.
"Your heart failed... I couldn't take it and with the rest except for B... We brought you to the Lazarus pit... But, you... Attacked us, Damian hit you and you went into a coma"
He explained as he stared at the wall infront of him. He seems eerily calm for what he was confessing for.
"We've been injecting you with it because you'll die if we stop, but it's the only reason why you're getting all those symptoms. Those headache and nightmares. But, we do it for your own good"
It makes sense now. How they banned you from seeing anyone out side the family as you have been pronounced dead already.
The headache, the nightmare, your body felling into a deep sleep suddenly, the nose bleed. Everything was because they have been injecting you with the that thing.
The same liquid that brought back Jason was the very same that brought you back. But, alot more problems follow you.
How blood would randomly seep out of your nose and nails, your organs felt like they were rearranging themselves.
Every passing hour felt like your body was slowly rotting from the inside like how ut was supposed to be.
Alfred came into the room with a string on his hand. You couldn't stop the swet from forming, your body temperature was extremely High and everything felt like they were from some cold place.
"Please, Alfred... Just end this. I can't continue this madness"
You clutch onto the bed sheet as dark red blood drip onto the mattress.
The pit didn't exactly fixed you like how it did for Jason. It just put your soul and brain back to power. It didn't fix about the fact that you were dead. You were a walking corpse with consciousness .
You grab onto his arm, he was your only hope for being free from your body.
The same body that was rotting from the inside, your body didn't belong to you any longer... You could feel them decomposing.
Your ribs slowly falling apart, your heart even tho beating was rotting slowly. And everything hurt.
"Please... I can't live like this..."
You clutch onto your heart as you could felt the vein snapping and tearing itself one by one... piece by piece.
"Sorry Master, you do not know what is good for you. Without you the family won't be the same... And I know how much it meant for you to see them together. Sometimes pain is needed to achieve what you want"
He took your wrist and pierce the metal through your skin as he inject the substance.
"Now... Go to sleep, when you wake up everything will be normal again. You could see the sun again. We are waiting for you"
Your eyes began to gave up. As you couldn't even mutter a word out.
You would have yo repeat the cycle forever.
Whenever you began to rot they would refresh you.
Cause a family without you is nothing.
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mishappeningss · 23 days ago
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omg i’m obsessed, we need more scene of our driver with the rookies!!
oh, yes. the rookies love her. if max were their grid dad, that automatically makes her their grid momma. everyone lives for this family, even your favorite drivers!
more about driver!yn
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Max is the tired father figure who just wanted a quiet career but now walks into media pens like he’s about to say, “I’m not mad. Just disappointed.” He’s always asking, “Where’s YN?” like she’s the only one who can keep their wild children from zip tying each other to garage doors.
YN is the emotionally unavailable but fiercely protective mom figure who drinks energy drinks at 9 am and tells the rookies, “You didn’t see me.” She’ll scream at them while also giving them the key to her car and a pack of Oreos. Grid wife energy. Always has somebody’s glasses.
Together? They co-parent the rookies like it’s their full time job they didn’t apply for.
Ollie calls YN ‘mum’ with full British sincerity. He clings to her arm post race like a victorian orphan. Max pretends not to enjoy it but gave him a ride on the scooter once. Gets bribed with pizza to stop live-tweeting things he shouldn’t.
Kimi is the baby genius. Quiet, a menace. Sits beside YN on planes and asks philosophical questions. Max says, “Don’t encourage him.” But she immediately does. Once made Max google “existential dread.”
Isack is constantly plotting something. Probably a fake ID ring, or ordering a bunch of merch and blame it on another rookie. Calls Max ‘dad’ as a joke until Max actually grounds him. Has the biggest soft spot for YN, brings her weird snacks.
Liam is only stable when YN’s present. Big middle child energy. Can be seen screaming “I didn’t start it!” across the paddock as Max is counting to ten in his mind. Definitely the one who almost set something on fire at the Red Bull motorhome.
Gabriel’s the one who says “Let’s do something stupid,” and is already halfway up the scaffolding when YN says no. Max doesn’t understand the point he’s trying to make, but nods like a disappointed professor.
Franco is the golden child. Follows Max around like a duckling but worships YN like she’s a Disney princess. She calls him ‘baby’ and makes sure he eats right. The others throw chips at him because he’s clearly the favorite.
Honorary mention: Lando. The loud cousin who keeps getting “advice” from YN and “judged” by Max. Somehow is the always the reason why someone’s crying. Thinks he’s one of the rookies. He isn’t. Max reminds him of that weekly.
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a small moment from our grid family :)
They’re in the Red Bull hospitality, long after the race is over. The paddock is thinning out. Max is sitting on a folding chair, half-lidded eyes trained on the floor, sipping water from a lukewarm bottle.
He looks exhausted — his fireproofs peeled halfway down, hair a little damp, the kind of tired that comes only from wrangling points and rookies in the same day.
YN walks in holding a tray. Not for herself, she’s already eaten. She just knows none of them have.
“Eat,” she said simply, placing it on the small table in front of him.
He doesn’t even look up. “What is it?”
“Something with protein. Don’t be difficult.”
He sighs, and she doesn’t push — just sits beside him, crossing her legs beneath her and leaning back in a way only she can: careless, relaxed, absolutely unbothered by the chaos she probably caused earlier.
Then— a crash. A yell. And a voice.
“Franco took my snacks!” — “He pushed me first!”
Max closes his eyes, “No.”
YN doesn’t even blink. She reaches into her hoodie pocket and pulls out two lollipops. “Go fix it,” she says, handing them to Max.
He looks at her like she’s lost her mind. “What am I supposed to do with these?”
“Bribe them.”
“I’m not bribing children.”
“Fine.” She shrugs. “Then I will.”
Before she could stand, Max stops her. “Just five minutes,” he says. “Before you go stop World War Three.”
She sits back down. Doesn’t say anything, just nudges the tray closer to him.
Outside, Liam’s yelling something about sabotage. Oliver is calling someone a traitor. Isack’s laughing. Inside, Max finally picks up the fork. YN closes her eyes.
Just five minutes. That’s all they’ll ever get, but it’s enough.
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urmum-lovesme · 5 months ago
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Dad!Rafe and baby fever...
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Y/N could barely contain her excitement, practically bouncing on her feet as she waited for the door to open. In one hand, she clutched a pastel gift bag, stuffed with little baby essentials- tiny onesies, soft blankets, and a plush bunny that she knew would be a favourite. In the other, Rafe stood beside her, holding a bouquet of fresh white carnations, his fingers idly twirling the stems while he watched his girl practically vibrate with anticipation. When the door finally swung open, revealing Lena with tired eyes but a glowing smile, Y/N squealed.
"Oh my God!"
She gushed, immediately diving in for a hug. Lena laughed, squeezing her back.
"Y/N, I literally saw you two weeks ago—"
"Yesss," Y/N cut in, pulling back just enough to beam at her.
"But you're officially a momma now!"
She gripped her cousin’s arms, eyes gleaming with pride. Lena chuckled, shaking her head.
"I know, I know"
Rafe, who had been standing back watching the interaction with a smirk, finally stepped forward, holding out the flowers. He spoke with a lopsided smile.
“Congrats on the baby, Len”
"Thanks Cameron"
Lena smiled warmly, taking the bouquet as she teased lightly. Y/N handed over the gift bag, grinning as her cousin took it, eyes trying to peek through the tissue paper covering the top.
"We got you some stuff for the baby! We may have gone a little overboard-"
"We?"
Rafe let out a short laugh, arching a brow as he repeated, glancing at her with amusement.
“I think you mean you, baby.”
“Whatever.”
Y/N playfully rolled her eyes. Lena peeked inside the bag pushing the covering to the side and let out a breathy laugh as her eyes widened.
“A little?”
Y/N just shrugged innocently as Rafe bumped his shoulder into her own. Lena shook her head to herself as she spoke, stepping aside to let them in.
"Come in, come in"
Y/N didn’t have to be told twice. She all but rushed inside, her eyes immediately scanning the living room for the main event. The second she spotted the bassinet in the corner, her heart melted. She barely heard Rafe and Lena talking behind her, too mesmerised by the tiny bundle nestled in the bassinet. Her chest clenched as she squatted down beside it, her eyes going all soft and dreamy at the sight of little Charlie, wrapped up snugly in a white blanket, her tiny chest rising and falling with each peaceful breath. With the gentlest touch, her hand came out to brush over the baby's little tummy, barely pressing, just enough to feel the warmth of her.
"Hi Charlie"
She murmured softly, voice dripping with adoration. The baby stirred just a little, her nose scrunching up in her sleep, and Y/N was surprised she didn't start crying on the spot at the precious sight. Behind her, Rafe and Lena were still talking, but then she felt a warm hand settle onto her shoulder, rubbing slow and affectionate.
Rafe.
He had come to stand beside her, looking down at Charlie with an expression that was almost as soft as hers.
“She’s perfect, Lena,” he said, voice full of sincerity as he glanced over at her cousin.
“Lucky to have you as her mom.”
“Thanks Rafe.”
Lena smiled, touched by his words. Y/N barely even registered the conversation, too busy getting lost in baby Charlie’s tiny fingers and impossibly soft cheeks. She felt something stir deep in her chest, something that only grew stronger when Rafe’s thumb swept lightly over her shoulder.
She should’ve known.
The moment they stepped into the cozy little living room, the scent of baby powder lingering in the air, and she saw that tiny bundle wrapped up in white, something inside her chest tugged. But the real problem?
Rafe
Rafe, sitting on the couch now, cradling the newborn in his arms, looking so effortless with her. Y/N sat beside him, watching as he carefully adjusted his hold, his large hands so gentle as they supported the baby’s tiny body. He was so focused, yet he seemed so relaxed- so natural.
“She likes you”
Her cousin teased softly, watching how the baby had nestled into Rafe’s chest, her tiny fingers curling slightly around his finger which he held out for her. Rafe chuckled, barely above a whisper.
“Yeah? She’s a pretty girl, huh?”
And oh.
Y/N felt her stomach flip.
Because Rafe was smiling down at the baby like she was the most precious thing in the world. And the way he spoke- soft, affectionate, careful- like he already adored her, like he’d do anything for her?
Y/N swore her heart skipped a beat.
She couldn't stop staring. Couldn’t stop thinking about how good he looked like that- holding something so small, being so gentle. Couldn’t stop thinking about what it would be like if that was their baby...
And that thought?
That was dangerous.
She swallowed hard, forcing herself to blink, to breathe, to not let the sudden urge consume her. But it was hard. So hard. Especially when the baby let out a tiny noise, and Rafe instinctively rocked her, swaying slightly, murmuring a quiet, 
“Shh, I got you, pretty girl.”
Y/N was done for.
The sun had started to set by the time they were driving back, the sky fading into warm hues of orange and pink, casting soft, golden light through the car windows. Y/N sat quietly in the passenger seat, as she gazed out at the passing scenery. Her teeth pressed lightly into her bottom lip, eyes distant, deep in thought. Rafe noticed. His grip on the wheel tightened slightly as he glanced at her, flicking his gaze between her and the road every few seconds.
Y/N's thoughts drifted back to the little bundle of joy they’d just met. She couldn’t help it. Her mind flickered to the pills resting in her bedside drawer. She knew she was on birth control- had been for years now, ever since her and Rafe had started dating. She had a plan. She wasn’t supposed to be thinking about babies, not yet anyway. But today, with everything- seeing Rafe with Lena’s baby, how effortlessly sweet he was with her- it was like something inside her clicked. It wasn’t a new thought, but it was the first time in a while that it felt... real.
There was something about the way Rafe had kissed her earlier before they went in to see the baby, the way he always cared for her without a second thought, that made her realise that when the time came there was no one else she'd want by her side. She imagined, maybe one day, their own little baby Cameron. A small smile tugged at her lips, though she tried to hide it. Before she could process the thought fully, Rafe's voice cut through her thoughts.
“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours huh?”
She glanced up at him, his eyes soft, like he could already tell she was so deeply lost in her thoughts. Her heart skipped, but she turned her face to the window again, her smile betraying her as she muttered,
“Nothing”
It wasn’t nothing.
"C'mon, tell me" 
He asked, his voice curious. One hand left the wheel, coming down to rest warm and steady on her thigh, the cool feeling of his signet ring grounding her. She hesitated, just for a second. Then she looked at him momentarily, voice quiet but sure.
"I think I wanna have a baby."
Rafe choked.
His grip on the steering wheel tightened, his jaw going slightly slack as he turned to look at her.
“A- what?”
“A baby,”
She repeated, her voice softer now as she turned her head towards him and continued to speak.
“I think I want us to have a baby.”
Silence.
Rafe was... thinking- evidently in slight shock. He was just looking at her, his lips parted slightly like his brain was working overtime.
“Like
 our baby?”
“Yeah Rafe. Our baby.”
Y/N let out a soft laugh, nodding. Rafe exhaled, running a hand over his hair. Instead of words, he just let out a low hum- like he was still letting it sink in. His head nodded slightly, and he attempted to speak, but no full sentence came out. And Y/N was watching him so closely. Because she knew him. She knew every little expression, every little movement- and she could see it. That spark in his eyes. That little twitch of his lips like he was trying not to smile too hard.
“
You sure?”
He asked after a beat, voice quieter now, more serious. Y/N looked at him, heart thudding in her chest. And she nodded.
“I’m sure.”
And that’s all it took.
Rafe let out a breath- almost like he’d been holding it in- and suddenly, his grip on her thigh tightened, his fingers curling against her smooth skin as his lips finally broke into a grin.
“Yeah?”
He murmured, glancing at her again, like he needed to see it in her eyes too. And when she nodded again a wide smile creeping onto her lips, he was all in. Y/N’s heart fluttered at the way he asked, at the way his eyes practically burned with the unspoken promise in his words.
“Mhmm”
She hummed her voice trembling slightly with anticipation. Rafe’s grin deepened, and before she could even process the moment, he steered the car off the main road, guiding it towards a small, empty parking lot in the distance. Y/N blinked, a little confused, her brow furrowing as she leaned forward slightly.
“What are you doing?”
She asked, glancing at him as the car slowed to a stop. Rafe didn’t answer immediately. Instead, he shifted in his seat undoing his seatbelt his eyes gleaming as he turned to face her. A playful yet look settling on his face as he reached over to undo her seatbelt also “Well,” he said his tone low and confident,
“we gotta start practicing, don’t we?”
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They're so cute it makes me sick đŸ€­
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kisses4themissus · 3 months ago
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Just A Fool | M.R X Reader
a/n: happy mothers day y'all...why not celebrate mother's day with some cuteness...and angst.. pairing: Michael "Robby" Robinavitch x Single Mom!Reader wc: 5.2k (idk I blinked and it was at 5k)
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Chatter and clicking of plates and cups filled the restaurant.
“So?” Robby began, glancing over to Lacey then to you beside her. “How did you not know she’s mine?” You asked, confused how he had assumed she was your niece. “I wasn’t thinking, does anyone else know?” he asked, glancing over to see Lacey already staring at him.
“I thought everyone knew i was a mom, lovebug stop staring at him.” You said, patting lacey’s hand on the table.
“He looks like the guy from josh’s game!” Lacey realized after staring intently at robby. “If having a kid turns you away then– what did you say?” you turned to lacey who sat next to you smiling at robby.
“He looks like the army guy!” She laughed, before turning to robby, sitting up on her knees. “My mommy likes his face hair.” She told Robby, who chuckled and titled his head. “Army guy?” Robby questioned.
“She thinks you look like a call of duty character.” You explained, chuckling to yourself. 
With a shocked expression, Robby stared at Lacey for a bit before turning to you. “She plays call of duty?” he asked, shocked as the little girl began to nod proudly.
You laughed and shook your head. “Her older cousins play but they let her get on the mic to talk shit.” You explained, looking over to see Lacey searching for her restaurant crayon. 
Robby nodded at the explanation. “I’ve dated a single mom before, she had a son
his name is jake.” Robby spoke softly as he watched you recognize the name.
“The boy who lost his girlfriend at pittfest?” You questioned, earning a slow nod from robby.
“He told me that he had gone to a therapist and said that it didn’t help but when he went to the hospital, he ran into someone..” Robby hinted, making you nod.
“I know the grief he’s going through, told him I wished Adamson was here so I could give him a proper apology.” you told robby, running your hand over the back of lovebug’s head 
There was a beat of silence before Robby asked.
“Was the person you lost her dad?” Robby motioned for lovebug who was too busy following the little maze on her place setting to listen to the adults.
You shook your head. “I wish he was her dad, he would’ve been a great one.” You sighed, looking down at the little girl. Robby saw the look of sadness and backed off the topic. 
Feeling eyes on her, Lacey looked up and saw both you and robby staring at her. “What?” She asked, looking a bit upset. “Got a problem?” She asked, raising her crayon to point at robby and you.
Robby chuckled and raised his hands in surrender. “I haven’t said anything.” 
Lacey sighed and nodded before flipping her place mat to face Robby, handing him a yellow crayon. She tapped the paper and pointed to her little tic tac toe board where she had placed a big X in the middle.
Glancing over you took in a deep breath and looked at robby with a smile. “Good luck, she’s good at those..” You sighed, picking up your drink.
Robby had begun to play with Lacey, at first letting her win but slowly grew to be competitive as she managed to trap him each time before running her red crayon over a line of hidden X’s. He leaned across the table and looked at Lacey in a mix of shock and awe.
“How do you keep doing that?” He laughed as Lacey shrugged before turning to you.
“How much longer, I'm hungry!” She dragged out her letters, flopping over on your shoulder.
You laughed and rubbed her head. “I’m not sure lovebug, we’re not the only people in here eating.” You explained, motioning towards the other booths and tables.
She sighed and placed her hands under her chin as she sat back down. She looked out the window before sighing once more, a bit more dramatic.
Both you and robby exchanged a look.
“Why does your family all call her that?” Robby asked, earning a laugh from you.
“Before I found out I was pregnant, I claimed I had a really terrible stomach bug, that’s why I was always tired, vomiting, and grumpy. So when I took a test and it was positive my brothers teased me by saying I had a lovebug in my stomach.” You explained.
Robby chuckled and nodded. “She’s more of a bedbug though!” You teased, tickling her sides. 
“Stop it mommy!” She laughed, wiggling from you.
You let her go and smiled as she sighed and moved back to her part of the booth, leaning over the table, Lacey looked at robby.
“Dr. robby. what’s your favorite color?” She asked, tapping the table with her pink painted nails. Robby chuckled and pretended to think.
“Blue.” He answered, earning a nod from lovebug.
“I like blue, my favorite is green.” She smiled at the doctor. 
“How was rat practice?” he asked, taking a sip of his drink, watching as Lacey perked up.
“Great, me and the older kids said on opening night we should do WWE rats, and– and I'd be the flying rat off the couch!” She explained, her eyes bright as she said her plan. You and Robby laughed.
“And the boys agreed?” You asked, laughing into your cup.
“Yep, Jason said to do it!” She nodded, waiting for you to finish your drink before asking for a sip.
Robby’s heart warmed as he watched you and Lacey across from him.
Lacey happily drank the lemonade, streaks of the drink on the sides of her mouth, she sighed and wiped it away with the back of her hand.
“Here honey.” Robby handed the little girl his napkin, smiling warmly as she nodded and wiped her face and arm. “Thanks dr. robby!” She grinned.
“You just call me robby.” His heart grew as you laughed.
“But you’re a doctor!” Lovebug tried to reason. “Like when mommy isn’t nice, I call her dr. mommy.” She explained before taking gulps of more lemonade.
“What’s your favorite food lacey?” Robby asked, making the little girl stop her gulps, she let out a deep gasp before answering.
“I like cheesy noodles!” She explained, making Robby tilt his head in confusion. 
“Fettuccine alfredo.” You clarified, lacey nodding in agreement. She turned to your purse and searched through it. Leaving you and robby to your own conversation.
 - - - - - - - -
Leaving the restaurant, you attempted to carry lacey who looked around the street, her sugar rush going crazy.
Robby noticed the look on your face as Lacey chattered and attempted to climb around you and quickly stepped in.
“C’mon monkey.” He took lacey and held her up. You smiled at the two. Lacey settled down a bit as Robby placed her on the ground before giving her a piggyback ride.
“Sure, your old man back won’t give out?” You teased, earning a laugh from robby; the fluttering in your stomach resumed. “I can’t guarantee it.” he joked, following as you walked to your car down the street.
As you passed an ice cream parlor, you took a deep breath and waited.
“Ooh, can we stop!” Lacey squealed, making you chuckle. Robby glanced at you with a grin. 
“It is nice to have dessert after dinner.” Robby teased, making you sighed before nodding at the pair, who cheered and walked inside. As the tired employee greets you three, staring at the ice cream flavors you turned to ask what everyone was getting only to see a sight that’d melt your heart.
Robby had moved Lacey to be in his arms, nodding as she pointed out different flavors she had liked the sound of. You felt red as robby’s free hand fell to your lower back and guided you to the counter.
“We’ll take a waffle cone with, what did you say you wanted honey?” Robby asked, looking at Lacey who sat comfortable in his arms.
“Cotton candy!” She squealed, making robby chuckle and nod at the employee before turning to you.
“What do you want?” he asked, not noticing how flustered you were. “Um- can i get a brownie sundae please.” You ordered, your face feeling overwhelmingly warm.
The employee nodded and typed something on the register screen. “And one fudge sundae.” Robby finished, removing his hand from your back to get his wallet out of his back pocket. 
“Hold this honey.” Robby told Lacey who nodded and held his leather wallet as he got out a twenty. At the same time you had pulled up your digital wallet on your phone.
You and robby looked at each other, robby looked almost offended as you attempted to pay. “Put that away, I'm treating you girls.” He playfully scolded you, making you nervously chuckle, nodding as you turned your phone off, letting him hand over the bill.
“Could you get the change for me, Lacey's shoe is falling off.” He asked, not waiting for a response, walking over to a booth and sat lacey down before helping the little girl with her Mary Jane shoes.
“Cute family.” The employee smiled at you, handing the change over.
You stuttered to get the words out. “Thanks..” You smiled and quickly walked over to the two.
After you and robby had shared your sundaes with each other, you three continued the way to your car.
As you unlocked the back door and loaded Lacey in, she sighed and whined. 
“What’s wrong babybug?” You asked, running a hand on her leg, trying to sooth her. “I don’t want dr. robby to leave!” She sighed, looking at Robby with puppy eyes. “Please come home with me and mommy!” She pleaded. 
You sighed at her. “Eat your ice cream before it melts some more!” You pointed to the waffle cone, she followed your finger and quickly jumped up to start eating it.
Both you and robby chuckled, softly shutting the door. You turned to robby and looked around the parking lot to see a few cars.
“Which is yours?” You asked, finally looking at him who smiled at you. “I walked.” He shrugged, watching as your eyes widened. “What?!” You scoffed at him. “And I thought carrying lovebug would’ve taken your back out..” You lightly laughed.
He nodded and motioned for you to get in the car. 
“You can’t be serious, I'm not gonna drive off and leave you to walk back to your apartment michael..” You said, noticing the flushed look on robby’s face. “What did you call me?” He asked, a sly grin growing.
You recalled your words and froze at the slip up. “Robby
I meant robby!” You attempted to cover. He nodded and grinned. “Nice cover slick.” 
“Are you getting in the passenger or what?” You asked, turning to the driver’s seat.
Robby laughed and nodded, opening the driver's door for you before running to the passenger side.
 - - - - - - - -
Somehow lacey had managed to convince you and robby to go back to your own apartment, robby agreed on staying till lovebug had passed out.
Unlocking the door, you sighed and smiled as Lacey ran into the living room and threw herself at the couch. Robby stayed at the doorway and admired the apartment, hanging plants in every corner of the rooms, a small kitchen and living room, two doors on each side of the apartment; easily you could tell which was Lacey's the colored construction paper and stickers stuck on the white door.
You kicked off your shoes and walked to your kitchen, opening the fridge to grab a cold water bottle, you turned to robby and offered one. “No thanks, nice place.” He nodded and looked around.
“Thank you.” You smiled, walking around the kitchen and poured the water into a bottle with cartoon characters before going to the couch and handing Lacey the plastic cup, “drink it for me please!” You smiled as the little girl began to chug it down.
She hopped onto the sofa, and patted the spot next to her for robby to sit, you sat on the opposite side of lacey and picked up the remote.
“Movie or bluey?” You asked lovebug who paused before looking at robby then back at you. “Movie since dr. Robby hasn't seen bluey!” She sighed, motioning for you to pick a movie out. 
Robby chuckled as she slouched down, and watched as you scrolled through movies, waiting for someone to pick.
“OH ALADDIN!” Lacey popped up from the couch and pointed at the screen. You hovered over the disney movie and turned to see Robby watching with a smile as Lacey bounced around, waiting.
He glanced at you and nodded.
It had barely gotten half way through when Lacey's sugar high hit, causing her to crash on the carpet in front of the hung tv. “She looks like a bug that’s been squished.” Robby chuckled, leaning over as you got up and prepared yourself to pick her up.
“Oh that’s because she’s tired from her long day, normally she’s fighting off demons.” You joked, you picked up the half full water bottle and placed it on the table to the side of the sofa.
Robby got up from the couch and carefully scooped up lovebug and looked at you. 
Too busy staring at robby’s broad shoulders you hadn’t noticed him gently shushing Lacey as she whined in her sleep, gently patting her back. Snapping back, you led robby to her room and watched as robby sat her down gently, you walked over and settled her in.
Robby smiled at Lacey's room; fairy lights were strung up across the room’s ceiling, painted stars on the walls, he looked back and blushed; It had felt oddly right to be domestic with you.
With a forehead kiss, you backed away from Lacey's room, turning on her fairy lights before leaving the room with robby.
Robby quietly shut her room door, noticing as you walked to your kitchen to clean up. 
He sighed and walked over to you. “I’ll be taking my leave now.” He smiled as you turned to him, two wine glasses in hand. “So soon?” You grinned, placing the glasses down on the island before turning to an upper cabinet and pulled out a bottle of wine.
Robby chuckled and sighed, looking down. “Alright, you got me.” He shook his head and walked further into the kitchen as you popped open the bottle. 
Robby took it gently from your hands and began pouring some into the glasses.
You scoffed at the amount. “Give me that, stop trying to be cheap with it!” You both laughed, taking the bottle from his hands.
He watched as you poured more wine into the glasses.
“Trying to wine and dine me?” He asked, a sly grin on his face as you froze in place.
“...possibly..” You looked at him quickly before taking a long sip of the wine. “I mean, I'm not opposed.” he told you before taking a drink. Feeling flushed, you watched as he drank more. “If you think you can stay quiet then absolutely..” You shrugged, placing down your glass.
There was a beat before both you and robby leaned into each other and let your lips touch, it was exciting, your stomach curled in as he reached to cup your face, bring you deeper into the kiss.
You pulled away first, smiling as he followed your lips. Placing your hands on his chest you motioned to your bedroom. Robby smiled and picked you up, cupping your bottom as he carried you to the bedroom, shutting the door and locking it behind you both.
 - - - - - - - -
Waking up to the smell of food was unusual for robby. He looked up from where he laid, all the memories of the night before rushed back, the late night chat with you.
He grinned and got up, putting on his clothes from the day before. Opening the door he saw you in the kitchen, humming to yourself as you made coffee and prepared something. Walking over he stopped at the kitchen island, smiled as you turned and grinned at him.
“Morning robby..” You said a bit shyly. He chuckled and walked over you, wrapping his arm around your waist. “Good morning, sleep well?” He asked, you closed your eyes and leaned your head against him. “Be quiet!” You giggled.
Robby had begun to help you make sandwiches, he raised an eyebrow as he placed another into a zip lock bag. “What are these for?” He asked, slightly confused.
You chuckled as you finished another sandwich. “Every other weekend, I get lacey all dressed up and cutesy and we go have a picnic.” You explained.
“That’s sweet.” Robby smiled.
As you both talked about your date, Lacey's door swung open to show a tired and crazy haired lacey. Her pajamas all messed up, one pant leg was hoisted up by her knee while the other was on the ground, her shirt was now backwards.
She walked out and rubbed her eyes as she yawned, she dragged over a stepping stool and hopped onto a stool nearby to sit down.
Robby quietly chuckled at the sight while you smiled and walked over to your crazy little girl. “You ready for our picnic?” You asked, earning a nod from her.
“Is dr. Robby coming with?” She asked, quietly. You looked over your shoulder and shrugged. You leaned in and shrugged at you. “I think you should ask him.” Your words made her light up.
“Do you want to go with us dr. robby?” Lacey asked, sitting up looking at robby with her puppy dog eyes once more.
He sighed and nodded. “I’d love to!” He grinned. With an answer lacey nodded and motioned for you to help her down.
Lacey ran off to your bathroom to brush her teeth and her hair. Leaving you and robby alone again.
Robby looked down at his clothes before nodding to himself, with a deep breath he walked over to you and leaned in. “I need to go back to my place, I need an outfit for the picnic with you lovely ladies.” He grinned as you got flustered and nodded, robby leaned in and kissed your cheek before leaving your apartment, out walked lacey, toothbrush in her mouth, her comb stuck in her hair as she looked around and shrugged at you. 
“Where’s dr. robby?” She mumbled, making you giggle before walking over and guided her back to the bathroom. “He went home to change, just like we need to change you into your dress.”
 - - - - - - - -
Robby had sent you a text about a park he knew that had good shade and a playground to take lacey to. You had agreed to meet there, packing up the picnic basket, a big enough blanket and getting lacey into the car; thankfully you had gotten there peacefully and quickly.
You carried the basket while Lacey insisted she carried the blanket, she walked through the grass, smiling as little kids ran past and towards the big playground. You had spotted robby across the park and walked with lacey over to him.
“Hi Michael!” Lacey yelled, making Robby turn and smile widely at you both.
You laughed and looked at lacey. “How do you know his name?” You asked, the little girl shrugged.
“After ice cream you called him michael.” She explained, running over as Robby knelt down to her height.
“Look at how pretty your dress is!” Robby smiled and spun her around, making her skirt fan out.
She laughed and sighed as he stopped and turned to you, his cheeks tinting pink.
You stood before him in a matching dress with lacey, a basket in hand and a warm smile on your face made his heart palpitate. “You look wonderful too!” He told you, taking the basket from your arm as lacey attempted to lay the blanket out.
“Thanks robby!” You smiled, helping lacey before sitting down on the blanket. Turning back to him, you chuckled as robby stood still, watching over you both.
“Come sit.” You patted the spot next you, robby nodded and with a groan sat down, placing the basket to the side. 
Lovebug began to buzz on her knees as kids ran past laughing, she turned to you.
Without having to ask you nodded at her and watched as she zoomed to the playground. “She could hardly wait.” Robby laughed, his arm going around your waist. You watched with a smile as Lacey joined a group of kids easily and began to play.
“I didn’t get to tell you but you look very nice as well.” You complimented, turning your head to robby who was looking over his shoulder. “I don’t look as good as you in that dress though.” He winked, making you both chuckle.
TIme had passed, you and robby had ended up cuddled together under the tree, watching as Lacey played with other kids, talking about anything and everything. 
You sighed and turned to look at robby, he had opened up about his struggle with adamson’s death then jake and his fallout. Your mouth frowned as you opened your mouth.
“Her dad’s name is nicholas callahan..” you started, earning a look from robby as you opened up. “He was my ballet partner, he and my ex boyfriend were best friends, everyone at the studio was surprised to find out that me and him had begun dating rather than me dating nick.” You looked down at your palms, not meeting robby’s gaze.
“When everything had happened, Nick comforted me...I was a fool, he took advantage  of my grief and convinced me to sleep with him; he said it’d take the weight off..” You sighed, feeling Robby's grip tightening on your waist in anger at Lacey's father.
“When I realized I was pregnant and went to tell him
he had left for Scotland, saying he didn’t want to be stuck in one place; I told my mom I wanted to quit ballet and the reason why.” You finally looked up to see Robby's eyes of remorse.
“That dick..” Robby muttered under his breath.
“He’s only seen lovebug a few times, she knows who he is, what he does for work; and how rarely she sees him.” You began to tear up. “My ex’s family knows about the whole thing, they adore lacey.” You chuckle, looking up to see robby looking distracted behind you. 
“She really likes you y’know.” You added, noticing the far off look in robby’s eyes but brushed it off.
He absentmindedly agreed, a pain struck your heart at his actions. 
You looked over to see lacey on the monkey bars, playing chicken with another little girl. As you turned back to robby, you saw him with his phone out, typing quickly.
“Is something wrong?” You asked, robby sighed and got up from the blanket. “I need to deal with something but you and Lacey have a good picnic.” He gave a peck on your lips before giving a quick smile before running to the other side of the park, leaving you alone on the gingham blanket.
Calling lacey over you had pulled out the sandwiches and ate as lacey talked your ear off about her new friends, part of your mind listened while the other half wondered why robby left urgently.
 - - - - - - - -
Going back to the hospital after spending the weekend with robby was lonely, no help with lacey’s questions of medical things she’d hear you both talking about.
As you scanned your badge into the ICU a mix of night shift and day shift all stood together around the nurses station, watching you with wide grins. You ignored them and placed your things down before going to log into a computer.
The night doctor stared at you before sighing and walking over to your desk. “So, how was your weekend?” She asked, smiling down at you.
You chuckled as you scrolled through files from the night before. “It was good, took lovebug to the park, got into a fight at my parents studio oh and made cookies!” You listed before turning to see the pile of workers.
“You forgot your date with dr. robby!” She giggled, making your face drop. 
“What? How did you know about that?” You asked, standing up, your face feeling warm. She quickly pulled out her phone and showed you a photo.
It was of you and robby at the coffee shop, both smiling at each other almost looking like a couple, it was clearly taken across the street.
“We met up for coffee
so what?” You asked bashfully, glancing back down at your new lockscreen. She laughed and leaned against the desks. “So what? You got your biggest hater to go on a date with you!” She laughed and began to clap at you.
You quickly stopped her. “Can we stop talking about my love life in front of all the patients, please?” You asked, gesturing to the open room doors.
She sighed and waved you off. “Most are intubated or probably want to hear something other than a depressing diagnosis.” She insisted; making you sigh.
“Fine, it was a date, he may have also stayed the weekend at my place..” You smirked shyly. 
A bunch of squeals and gasps came from the ICU workers. “Are you dating?” One of the respiratory nurses asked, grinning widely. You sighed and tilted your head to think. “Umm– I’m not too sure, he hasn’t officially said..” Your words made everyone stop and stare at you.
“And he stayed over?” The night doctor asked once more, making you nod.
Quickly the excitement disbursed. “I knew he was a player..” One of them sighed, shaking their head.
“What do you mean?” you asked, watching as the ICU workers began to pick off some post it notes off the fridge, groaning at each one.
“Do I have to tell her?” The nurse sighed, earning a nod from the others. She sighed and walked over to you and rubbed your arm as she sat you down.
“There’s rumors of dr. robby dating dr. Collins and for a while the rumor was dead but
 lately all the other departments have been talking about them,” She sighed, your stomach tightened before releasing. 
“Apparently, one of the girls in CT saw them snuggled up together just this past weekend at the park by that one deli shop..” She finished, watching for your reaction.
The park
the park he had suggested for you, Lacey and him go for your picnic, the park where he kissed you at–.
You sighed and shook your head. 
“Their exes so what, maybe he needs closure..” You tried to excuse, your stomach began to sink as you thought about it some more. “I need to go get some fresh air..” You quickly got up from your chair and exited the ICU.
As you passed through the pitt, you were stopped by Langdon and McKay who both smiled widely at you. “Wanna place a bet?” Langdon asked, making you look at him confused.
“What kind?” You sighed, looking around for robby, but failed.
“Rumor has it, Robby's got a girlfriend, and I'd place a bet quickly if I were you..” Langdon smiled, you froze and shook your head. “No thanks, left my wallet upstairs anyways.., hey where’s robby?” You asked, turning to mckay who shrugged and glanced around the ED.
“No ones seen him since he got in.” Dana replied, sighing as she placed her hands on her hips.
You nodded and excused yourself to go to the ambulance bay, as you stepped outside by the bush you sighed and closed your eyes.
As the feeling of bile rising slowly washed away laughter caught your attention.
Opening your eyes you froze as you saw robby with Collins by her car; both laughing together. The bile quickly rose up as you saw the look of love in robby’s eyes.
Finally leaning over, preparing as the bile rose to your throat. Looking up for a final time to see robby rubbing over Collins stomach before cupping her face with a longing look.
The EMTs nearby jumped into action as you vomited into the bush. 
One held your hair back. “Are you alright?” She asked, you nodded and took a shakily breath before wiping your mouth. “Peachy..” You sighed, watching robby and collins off in their own world.
You stood up before walking back into the ED, rushing to the nearest bathroom. Thankfully being a single stall, you locked the door and bent over the sink.
Once again you had been taken as a fool; thinking a man would love you with no bad intention; was him being sweet to lacey just to get you to sleep with him faster.
Sighing, you glanced in the bathroom’s mirror and fixed the stray hairs as tears began to form. Silently crying as you perfected yourself.
Rolling back your shoulders you sighed and wiped away the tears. You stared at yourself before walking back out. As you exited the bathroom, Langdon laughed and shook you by your shoulders. “I won the bet, I knew him and Collins were together again!” He laughed.
You looked over to where the group of ED workers all cheered for the pair.
Among the workers, robby found your eyes, watching as they went from lovingly to sharp. He went to excuse himself but you had been faster as you slipped to the staff elevators with a blank expression.
 - - - - - - - -
The ICU had noticed the subtle shift of your personality; it was only seen on your worst days.
Everyone had quietly spoken about it. You had been snippy with any ED call, denying any bed space and allowing any OR patients the bed first. 
While on a cafeteria run, you walked through the ED, ignoring the gaze stuck on your back.
As you passed a curtained room, someone calling your name made you stop. You turned and opened the curtain and begged for your day to be over or to keel over and be bedridden.
“Nick..” You sighed, fixing the end of your jacket, feeling insecure around him; Nick the man your whole family hated, the man your heart still had affection for, Lacey's father.
He sighed at the sight of you.
“You still look pretty as always.” he smiled, admiring as you looked around the room. “What are you here for?” You asked, avoiding his gaze.
“Got trampled by some folks during a fire drill.” He explained, smirking at you. “Are you my doctor?” He smiled charmingly at you.
As you opened your mouth to speak the curtain was pulled back to show robby, collins and santos.
You saw robby and shut your mouth before turning to nick. “I got bumped upstairs, better patients and doctors.” You told him, using santos as a shield from robby walking closer to you. 
“These will be your doctors, dr. Collins, dr. santos and
dr. robinavitch.” You motioned to the three, seeing robby’s hurt expression from the corner of your eye.
“You still have my number right, let me see you and lovebug this weekend?” He asked, you turned and noticed robby’s furrowed brows at the patient.
“My apartment’s still the same.” You told Nick before walking to the elevators, leaving Robby to brew in his anger.
next pt!!
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robby taglist!! @nerdgirljen @whatdoesntkillyoumakesyoustrange @evans-dejong @lovebuggyies @snowflames-world @whimsicalfungiforager @itschelseacisneros @kmc1989 @foolishseven @rhysology @delicatetrashtree @equallyshaw @qardasngan @fallout-girl219 @dantemorenatalie @18lkpeters @ohmystrawberrycheesecake @blackblueberries @swiftie-4-lifes-stuff @isla-finke-blog @baileythepenguin
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seaglassandink · 3 days ago
Text
𓊝 𓂃Oceans
Conrad Fisher x ex!fem!reader | part 2 part 3
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Summary: When Conrad calls you from Cousins Beach, you expect a catch-up. Instead, he tells you Belly and Jeremiah just showed up engaged. What starts as a late-night FaceTime turns into sixteen years of friendship unraveling: old wounds, unspoken love, and the sting of realising he still hasn’t let go of her
 and maybe never will. Warnings/tags: angst, season 3 spoilers, Conrad doesn't know what he wants, mild swearing if you squint, English is not my first language Word count: 4.2k
╭┈┈┈┈┈┈╯ 𓆉 đ“‡Œ ╰┈┈┈┈┈┈╼
The beach house looked the same from the outside as it always had, but the moment Conrad stepped inside, it felt different. Four summers had passed since you were last here with him—the last one before you left for New York. Until now, he hadn’t realised how much the house had become a place that only existed in his memory, polished and softened by time like a piece of sea glass.
The first few days had been calm. Quiet mornings. Coffee on the porch. The endless rhythm of the ocean filling in the jagged edges of a life that had been all sharp corners ever since med school began. For the first time in a long time, it felt like he could breathe again.
Until today.
Jeremiah and Belly had shown up unannounced and engaged. Engaged. And now Belly was staying in the house.
The place suddenly felt much too small.
Later, after everyone had retreated to their own corners, Conrad shut himself in his room. The night pressed close around the windows, the only light the pale glow of his laptop on the desk. He sat on the edge of his bed, phone in hand, and hit FaceTime.
The screen flickered, and then there you were. Hair pulled back in a messy bun, a faint streak of dried paint on the collar of an old T-shirt. Behind you, the walls of your apartment were soft gallery white, and somewhere beyond the glass he could hear the hum of the city—muffled, like a heartbeat.
“Hey,” you said, a slow, surprised smile tugging at your lips when you saw him. “You look
 stressed. Bad day?”
“You have no idea,” he answered, leaning back against the wall.
Your brows knit together, your eyes sharpening with concern. “What happened?”
He let out a long breath, dragging a hand over his face. “They showed up.”
“Who?”
“Jeremiah,” he said, pausing as if the next word might hit harder if he said it too fast. “And Belly.”
You straightened, folding your legs beneath you. “Wait. What? Why are they there?”
“They’re engaged,” he said. Saying it out loud still sounded absurd. “They came because Belly had a huge fight with her mom. So she’s staying.”
The call went quiet, except for the faint hiss of city noise coming through on your side.
You blinked slowly, each word settling like a stone. “Engaged,” you repeated, as if saying it might help you believe it.
“Yeah,” he said quietly. He never got to tell you after that stunt they pulled off at the diner.
You just stared at him for a long moment. He saw the crease form between your brows, the small tightness in your mouth as you thought.
“And you’re okay with that?” you asked finally. Your voice was steady, but there was something simmering under it.
A dry laugh escaped him, humourless. He tilted his head back against the wall, meeting your eyes through the screen.
“I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to feel right now,” he admitted. “So tell me, what do you think I should do?”
You shook your head, exhaling sharply. “Shit. Are you serious? Belly and Jeremiah? Engaged? They’re kids.”
He could see you trying to process it, to make sense of something that didn’t make sense.
“Well,” you said after a moment, “are you going to stay there or fly back to California? What about that summer job at the clinic? There’s no way you can just go back?” You hesitated, then added quietly, “I know you lost it on your first day. With Steven’s accident and all.”
Conrad’s mouth curved faintly despite himself. Even now, you still had a way of cutting straight to the heart of things. You always had.
He let out another breath. The truth was, he had a flight booked for Saturday. But after today? He wasn’t sure he even wanted to be on it.
“I don’t even know anymore,” he admitted, fingers raking through his hair.
You studied him on the screen. At least this time, for once, you were in the same time zone. When he’d been in California and you in New York, catching each other had been harder. Or maybe it just felt hard because most of the time, he hadn’t answered.
“And that engagement
” you began, shaking your head. “How do you feel about it? Because, let’s be honest—it’s ridiculous. They’re kids. Didn’t you tell me Jere has to repeat a semester? And he owes your dad twenty grand? It’s insane.”
Conrad’s jaw tightened, a muscle flickering in his cheek. He knew it was stupid, reckless. And hearing you say it made it all too real. Like you were giving shape to the very thoughts he’d been trying to bury all afternoon.
He sighed, shoulders heavy. You always saw right through him.
“Connie, baby, c’mon. Talk to me,” you said as you moved from one room of your apartment to another, phone in hand.
Her words—your voice—washed over him like a tide. He hated how much just hearing you say his name could undo him.
He looked up, the screen’s blue light painting his face. You were in your pyjamas now, hair loose around your shoulders. Just looking at you eased something in his chest, even as everything else tightened.
“It’s just
 it’s a mess, ” he said finally, the words tumbling out. “They’re kids. They don’t know what they’re doing. And Jeremiah—he’s barely getting his life together. He doesn’t even have a job.”
He paused, swallowing hard.
“And then there’s
 Belly.”
The name caught in his throat, and you stiffened slightly. “Yeah, there’s Belly,” you echoed. “Belly, who’s now going to be staying alone with you in that house for God knows how long,” you added, raising a brow.
You didn’t like it. Not one bit.
Conrad’s jaw tightened again, hearing exactly what you weren’t saying.
Belly, with those brown eyes and that familiar laugh. Belly, who had been his best friend’s little sister. Belly, who—
He forced a humourless laugh. “Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”
“Very funny,” you shot back, your expression flat. “It’s completely fine that your ex-girlfriend is right there with you, all alone. Ex-girlfriend who will be in love with you forever, no matter if she marries your brother or not.”
Your words struck something deep, and he hated the bitterness laced in your tone.
He raked a hand through his hair, frustration rippling through him. “You can’t seriously think—”
“Are you trying to bullshit yourself or me right now?” you cut him off, brow arched. You propped your phone up on the nightstand, climbed into bed with your laptop and a bowl of mac and cheese, still watching him.
He shut his mouth, staring at you, guilt twisting inside him.
“I’m not trying to bullshit anyone, especially not you,” he said finally.
“Look,” you said, stabbing at the pasta with your fork, “all I’m saying is that she will always be in love with you, and everybody knows it. Probably even Jere knows it, and they’re engaged. He’s back in Boston, doing that internship for your dad, and she’s there—alone with you. That’s all I’m saying.”
Conrad’s jaw tightened again. He hated that you were right.
“So what, you think I’m just gonna
 hook up with her?” he asked, trying not to sound defensive.
“I think you’re too selfless to do that to Jere,” you replied, sliding your glasses on and opening your laptop. “But I do think you’d be more than willing to hook up with her if the situation were different.” The bitterness in your voice slipped out before you could stop it.
The tension between you thickened with every word. You’d never believed much in the so-called change he’d claimed over the years, and the sting of that was something he felt all over again now.
“You think you know me so well, don’t you?” he said, sharper than he intended.
You scoffed. “Oh, please. Are we really doing this? Is this high school all over again?” Your gaze flicked back to the screen. “Connie, all I’m saying is that
 we both know the truth, whether you want to admit it or not. And you’re asking me what you’re supposed to do about Belly.” Your voice cracked slightly. “I just think it’s unfair. Out of line.”
Conrad’s eyes narrowed. The implication that he still had feelings for Belly—feelings that weren’t for you.
“Out of line,” he echoed, his voice tight. “You think talking to you about my ex-girlfriend is out of line? Even though we’re not together anymore?”
“Yes,” you said flatly. “It’s unfair to me. It’s uncomfortable. Especially when I’m in a whole different city, doing something completely separate from this.”
His jaw tightened again, anger flaring, guilt following close behind.
“So you expect me to just
 not talk to you about it?” he asked.
“Oh my god
” You dragged a hand over your face. “Fine. Tell me, straight up, what you want to do about it?” You set the laptop and bowl aside and stared directly into the camera. “You see her for the first time in two years, she’s engaged to your brother who’s gone for a week, leaving you alone with her in that house. What does Conrad Fisher do? Tell me.”
Conrad sagged back against the headboard. The truth was simple but impossible.
“I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice rough. “Honestly? I don’t know.”
Seeing Belly again had shaken him more than he cared to admit. He’d spent four years burying his feelings for her, but seeing her now—all those old feelings came rushing back.
And you could see it. You could see it all over his face. And it hurt. Because you knew then, with painful clarity, that it wasn’t you. It never was.
“My advice? Stay away from her unless you want to lose your brother,” you said coldly, turning back to your laptop.
Conrad’s chest tightened at the iciness in your tone. It stung more than he expected.
“Why did you call me?” you asked suddenly, still typing. The words came out low, pained. “Do you have any idea how happy I was when I saw your name on my screen? And of all things, we end up talking about her.”
He sank into himself, all the fight gone. “Because I needed to hear you,” he said finally, raw honesty in his voice. “I needed to hear your voice.”
Your fingers stilled on the keyboard. For a moment you just sat there, staring at the screen, throat tight.
“Well, you heard it,” you said after a moment, softer now. “You heard my opinion. And now what?”
Conrad dragged a hand down his face. “And now I try desperately to ignore the fact that Belly being here makes me feel things I shouldn’t feel.”
You nodded, eyes fixed on your laptop. “If this was just awkward, I’d fly there,” you said. “Like the good friend I am. But this? This isn’t just awkward. It’s because you still have feelings for her. And that? I can’t help you with.”
The word “friend” hit him like a punch.
“You’re really going to pull the friend card right now?” he asked, his voice rough.
“Isn’t that what I’ve been for sixteen years?” you said bitterly. “The best friend. That’s all I’ve ever been.”
His jaw clenched. He inhaled deeply, forcing down his frustration.
“It’s not all you’ve ever been.”
You clicked your tongue. “That was the past. And now, after four years, we’re here, talking about Belly again. It’s pathetic.” You closed your laptop sharply. “It’s pathetic for me, don’t you think?”
He sagged, the anger draining out of him. “Pathetic?” he repeated, quietly. “Is that really how you see me?”
“Connie, baby, not everything revolves around you,” you said softly, your voice flat. “I see myself that way. Pathetic that I’m still sitting here talking about this with you when I really, really don’t want to.”
His chest tightened, words failing him. He wanted to tell you that you weren’t pathetic. That you were everything. Strong and beautiful and always so far out of his league, it was almost comical. But he couldn’t get the words out.
“I’m sorry,” he said finally, the words low, raw.
You stayed quiet for a long moment before you finally whispered, “Sometimes I wonder if all those memories and plans we made as kids even matter anymore. I can’t remember the last time I saw you. And the fact that you call me for this and not to check in
 It tells me exactly how you feel about me now.”
Conrad felt the air leave his lungs. Guilt pooled in his chest, heavy and suffocating.
“I
 I didn’t mean for it to get like this,” he said softly. “You’re still the closest person to me.”
“Doesn’t feel like it. Hasn’t felt like that in a long time,” you said quietly, your voice steadier than you felt. “And I get it. You left for California and cut yourself off from everybody for your own good. And I’m happy for you, Connie. I really am. I’m proud that you’re growing, that you’re healing, that med school is everything you wanted it to be.”
For a moment your lips trembled, the strength in your voice wavering. “But I don’t
 know who you are anymore. I don’t know you, Connie. I don’t know the person I spent most of my life with. And it feels
 awful.”
The words sliced through him like cold steel.
Until now, Conrad hadn’t realised the full cost of his silence. He had been so focused on keeping himself afloat, on surviving med school, on burying his own pain, that he hadn’t stopped to consider what his absence had done to the people who mattered most—especially you.
Guilt churned in his chest, bitter and sharp, as he stared at you on the screen. The sadness etched across your face, the hurt in your eyes, was worse than anything he could have imagined.
He opened his mouth, but the words stuck like stones in his throat. What could he possibly say to fix something like this? Could he even fix it?
“Y/N
” he started, but no more came out.
“I just wish you checked in on me the way I do from time to time,” you said, glancing at him through the screen, your voice quieter now, almost fragile. “And not just call me about your ex-girlfriend.” You let out a small, humourless laugh that sounded more like a crack in glass. “Because, flash news, baby—I’m an ex too.”
You paused, your next words a whisper. “And I bet you don’t talk to Belly about me. I bet you don’t talk to anyone about me. It’s like I stopped existing.”
The breath left his lungs like a punch.
The way your voice wavered broke something in him.
He felt like the world’s biggest asshole, because you were right. You had been right all along.
Conrad dropped his gaze, unable to meet your eyes through the screen.
“You’re not an ex,” he said finally, his voice low, gruff, almost desperate. “You’re
 you. You’re my best friend.”
You swallowed hard, your jaw clenching as you nodded slowly. “I’m just
 me. Good to know. So you have ex-girlfriends—and then there’s me. Just me,” you said, shaking your head, disbelief flashing in your eyes. “Do you know how humiliating that sounds? How belittling it feels?”
Conrad’s chest tightened.
“I
 I didn’t mean it like that,” he said quickly, voice raw. “You’re more than just ‘you.’ You’re—”
But the sentence died in his throat. Because how do you explain that someone has always been everything when you’ve made them feel like nothing?
You gave him no time to find the words.
“I’m gonna tell you who I am, Conrad,” you said, straightening a little as your voice turned sharp, every word trembling but full of fire. “I’m the invisible best friend. I’m the forgotten ex-girlfriend. I’m the person you call to talk about another ex—the one you’re still in love with.”
You blinked back the tears threatening to spill as you kept going.
“I’m someone who’s been there for you for sixteen years. And in return? You don’t bother to call unless I do first. Or now—when you need to talk about Belly.”
Every word hit like a hammer.
“And I’m someone who’s been chasing a ghost for the past four years. Hoping, stupidly hoping, that maybe one day things would go back to normal. That maybe one day I’d have you back. But tonight? This whole thing just proves that I was wrong. I over-calculated my chances. I have work in the morning. So goodnight.”
And before he could respond, the screen went black.
Conrad sat frozen, staring at his own reflection in the dark glass of his phone.
The silence that followed was crushing.
It settled over him like a heavy blanket, suffocating, filling his lungs with guilt and shame until he couldn’t breathe.
He’d messed up. Badly.
The weight of everything you had said pressed down on him, suffocating and relentless.
I’m the invisible best friend. The forgotten ex-girlfriend. The person you call to talk about another ex.
The words replayed on an endless loop, each repetition cutting deeper.
He pressed a hand to his eyes, the guilt burning hot behind them.
How had he let it get this far?
He thought of every missed call, every unanswered text, every opportunity to check in that he had let slip by. Four years of silence that had built a wall between you so high, he didn’t know if he could ever tear it down.
He thought of your laugh. The way you used to make fun of him until his stomach hurt. The nights you’d talk until the sun rose. The way you always seemed to know what to say, always seemed to understand him, even when he didn’t understand himself.
And he had ruined it.
All of it.
He had been selfish, so wrapped up in his own pain and fear that he’d blinded himself to what you needed from him.
And in the process, he’d lost the one person who had always been there for him.
The one person who had never left.
Conrad leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his fingers tangled in his hair as the guilt rolled over him in crushing waves.
He had been terrified of feeling pain again. But tonight, as he sat alone in the dark, he realised that losing you hurt worse than anything he had ever been afraid of.
How the hell was he supposed to fix this?
Could he fix this?
Or was this the moment he’d finally lost you for good?
————————————————————————
The next day began already sour.
You woke up to chaos: your alarm hadn’t gone off, your coffee spilled across the counter like an act of betrayal, and then traffic locked you in place for nearly an hour, leaving you with nothing but the thrum of engines and your own thoughts. By the time you finally reached the gallery, your mood was hanging by a thread.
Last night had poisoned the whole day before it even started.
The knowledge that Conrad was under the same roof as Belly—that after all this time he was still uncertain, still torn—burned inside you like acid. It wasn’t just about Belly. It was about being reminded, in one terrible phone call, that no matter what history you and Conrad shared, she was still the ghost he couldn’t shake.
And the fact that he’d called you only to talk about it?
Humiliating. Pathetic. You were angry.
So when, just past noon, a man came into the gallery holding a bouquet of flowers, you assumed there had been some mistake. You weren’t expecting deliveries.
“Miss Y/L/N?” he asked, double-checking the note.
Your brows knit together as you signed for them.
The blooms were exquisite—your favourites. A riot of colour, soft and fragrant, standing out against the sterile white of the gallery walls.
Tucked between the stems was a card.
“I’m not asking for forgiveness. I just want you to know that I’m truly sorry. —C”
Your fingers clenched on the paper until it bent. For a moment you wanted to throw the entire bouquet into the trash, as if that would erase the ache in your chest. Almost.
But you didn’t.
You said nothing. You didn’t text him. You didn’t tell him the flowers had come or that they were beautiful. Because they were beautiful, and that made it worse. You were too hurt.
Conrad spent the entire day staring at his phone like it was the only thing tethering him to earth.
He wanted to call. He wanted to say something—anything—to fix what he had broken. But he knew you needed space.
So he waited.
He checked the screen every few minutes, hoping, praying, for a message from you.
But nothing came.
As the hours dragged on, doubt began its slow creep.
What if she hates me now? What if she never forgives me?
By the late afternoon, those doubts had transformed into certainties. He had convinced himself that the last four years had erased whatever you and he had been to each other.
That he’d lost you for good.
He went through the motions of the day in a haze—answering a few texts, eating lunch he couldn’t taste, pushing himself through surfing, responding to emails—but every thought circled back to you.
————————————————————————
When you finally made it back to your apartment, you stripped off your gallery clothes and threw on something soft, something that didn’t pinch or squeeze. You painted for a while, hoping the colours would pull your thoughts into a quieter place, but even the paintbrush couldn’t fully distract you.
By dinner, the flowers had already been brought home. They sat on your nightstand now, their scent delicate in the air, mocking you.
It hurt.
It hurt because Conrad was showing up, just as he always did. Because it only ever took one moment of you telling him exactly how deeply he had hurt you for him to do something. Not talk. Never words. Just gestures.
And gestures were sometimes worse.
You sighed, grabbed your phone, and opened your messages.
Y/N: Thanks for the flowers.
Simple. Bare. Practical. It was all you had the strength for.
Conrad’s heart almost leapt out of his chest when the notification finally appeared.
You had answered.
It was short, cold—just like you had been the night before. But it was something.
He opened your message and read it over and over, his thumb hovering over the keyboard. He deleted and retyped three different replies, none of them good enough.
Every word felt wrong. Too much or too little.
Finally, after agonising minutes, he settled on the safest thing he could think of:
Connie: You’re welcome.
You stared at the reply for a long moment, your phone balanced in your hand.
Was this how it was going to be from now on? Polite. Short. Stripped of everything you used to be?
You couldn’t reconcile it—the boy you had grown up with, the boy who had been your everything—with the man who could only manage “you’re welcome.”
The same boy who had held your hand in the rain. The same boy who kissed you like the whole world had disappeared.
Now you were just this. Words on a screen.
Belly had taken the rest.
You swallowed the ache and typed before you could stop yourself.
Y/N: Did you figure out what to do?
Conrad’s chest tightened as he read those words.
Of all the things you could have asked him, this was the one that made him feel like the smallest man alive.
He didn’t want to lie. But the truth was just as bad.
After a long pause, he answered.
Connie: Not yet. Not yet.
The message stung when you read it.
The fact that it was even a question—the fact that Belly was still, after all these years, an unresolved thing in his heart—was unbearable.
Your eyes prickled with tears you refused to let fall.
Why couldn’t it be you? Why didn’t he fight for you the way he still seemed to fight against Belly?
You wanted to ask. You wanted to scream it.
But you didn’t. You couldn’t.
Y/N: I see. Goodnight.
Conrad’s world collapsed around two small words.
I see.
They were cold. Final.
He stared at the screen long after the conversation ended, until the glow dimmed and the phone went black.
He fell back on his pillow, the ceiling blurring as he blinked back the tears that came anyway.
“What have I done,” he whispered to the empty room.
Alone in the dark, Conrad thought about your laugh, your smile, your voice. He thought about your touch—the one thing that always brought him back to himself.
And he cried.
Silent, desperate, aching sobs that no one could hear.
Because for the first time, he truly believed he had lost you.
╭┈┈┈┈┈┈╯ 𓆉 đ“‡Œ ╰┈┈┈┈┈┈╼
EDIT: PART 2 IS UP. READ HERE
PART 3 READ HERE
A/N: Here's this small piece. I may or may not have part 2 brewing, but tell me if you want one :)
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hughes-your-daddy · 3 months ago
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baby fever
pairing: jack hughes x fem reader
summary: a week at the lake house with jacks family has got you thinking far into the future with him.
warning: a lil suggestive
you’re barefoot on the dock, letting your legs dangle in the water beneath you embracing the sun rays. quinn and luke are out on paddle boards trying to push the other in while jim and ellen are sat around the fire pit with a few other family members.
and jack?
jack is sat playing with a baby. his baby cousin ellie, and by god was it hot. you don’t think you’ve ever been this whipped in your whole life. she decided that jack was her favourite since the beginning of your trip only sticking to his side and taking naps with him when they’re not playing and jack couldn’t be more reciprocal.
you’ve been watching them from the dock for the past ten minutes, watching him chase her around the small patch of grass, talk g dramatically making small giggle erupt out of the small girl. his skin golden in the sunlight, tshirt soft when he finally sits down, ellie climbing into his lap hearing that stupid soft voice he uses when he thinks no one’s listening.
“you like uncle jack huh?” he asks the little girl squealing, placing her hands on his cheeks.
“jack jack,” she squeals as he begins tickling her, wiggling in his lap.
“ellie, you wanna grab some food.” her mom calls out before the little girl is up and running her little legs up the small hill, back to her mom.
jack smiles as he watches he run away before his eyes flicker over to yours grin only widening before he’s pushing up to his feet and coming over.
he drops down beside you, letting his feet dangle in the water, taking your hand in his, pressing a soft kiss to the back of you hand.
“hiya.” you smile, pushing your sunglasses onto the top of you head t see him better, “lost your little friend huh?” you tease playing with the small bracelets on his wrist.
“stand your ground, she’s stealing your man.” he teases back causing you both to laugh before he’s looping his arm over you shoulders pulling you close, “nice to have a minute with just you though.” he hums you smiling turning to press a kiss to his hand that rests over your shoulder.
“it’s nice,” you say turning to face him better, bringing your feet out the water resting over his lap, where his hands find your legs, gently brushing up and down them, “i like seeing you with kids, you’re really great with them.” you smile seeing a smirk creep onto his face.
“you telling me you got a little bit of baby fever.” he smirks leaning in closer to you, your hands finding his cheeks.
“maybe,” you say leaning in but stopping against his lips, “but i’m not ready to give up my body yet.” you whisper causing him to chuckle as he pulls you in for a kiss, hands moving up to your waist pulling you onto his lap.
you giggle pulling away, resting your head against his shoulder as you sit sideways across his lap, looking out over the lake. one hand comes up and down brushing over your back the other coming over your knees, thumb brushing across your skin.
“i think we have plenty of time for that babe.” he mumbles against your neck, pressing a small kiss before pulling away hearing a certain scream of his name
“jack jack.” ellie squeals running down to him crashing into his back, her little arms coming around his neck.
“hey ellie.” he laughs as you move off his lap, ellie replacing you, sitting with her back against his chest, “you’re gonna be getting ready for bed soon.” jack says, ellie shaking her head as she leans back against his chest.
“me no tired.” she says, followed by a well timed yawn making you chuckle.
“how about if jack jack took you to bed huh?” you ask and you see her eyes light up, as she quickly nods, you and jack standing up, him carrying ellie on his hip into the house.
yous make your way upstairs to her small makeshift crib as you wait by the door, jack laying her down, gently pulling the small blanket over her.
you watch from the doorway seeing him press a quick kiss to her forehead a small smile appearing on her face as she falls asleep.
he lingers for a moment, leaning over the e crib watching to make sure she’s asleep before he turns to you, flashing a smile, before he quickly leads you out, gently shutting the door behind you, leaving it a few inches open.
“your good at that you know.” you whispers, wrapping your arms around his waist, his falling around the neck as he looks down to you.
“well i was apparently great with luke when he was a baby.” jack mumbles, a smug smile on his face before you laugh.
“jack you would have been like 2 or 3.” you chuckle, as he pulls a face at you.
“hey, i was good for a 2 year old.” he huffs before pulling you close, kissing the top of your head, “how about we grab a drink now, i bought that wine you like today.” he smiles, leading you downstairs to the kitchen where you smile as he pulls out the bottle of wine you love so much.
“gimme a big glass of that please.” you joke sitting at the island while he pours two glasses, a bit more in yours than his.
you slides your glass over, both of you taking a sip as you hum in joy before heading out to the fire pit where everyone else is sat talking.
there’s only one space left and without thinking, jack sits down pulling you onto his lap being careful of your wine before shoving a blanket over the top of yous.
“warm enough?” he asks and you nod laying back against his chest.
“i’m all good.” you smile, settling into conversation with his family around you. yous laugh along, ellen sharing some stories of the boys when they were younger, like the time jack when he was 5 tried to use quinns skates and fell over immediately, him hiding in embarrassment behind you, digging his head in your neck.
time passes and soon people are starting to head back inside, you going in to refill your glasses when you notice jack didnt follow. confused, you quickly pour your wine before poking your head out the back doors, squinting in the darkness trying to find jack.
you see him, laying in the small hammock looking out over across the lake. you smile, walking over and stumbling slightly once you reach him, jack reaching out to steady you.
"woah, baby maybe youve had too much." he giggles, taking his glass from you, helping you get comfy, laying ontop of him, back against his chest.
"mmh, im good," you humm, closing your eyes for a moment feeling jacks breathing beneath you, "just a bit tipsy," you giggle, looking up to see him holding back his own laugh.
you both manage to calm down a bit? jacks fingers grazing up and down your arm as you both sip your wine under the stars.
“you’d be a great mom y/n.” jack whispers, coming down to kiss you, letting his lips slide over yours.
“mmh,” you hum pulling away, “how many would you want?” you asks, moving carefully to see his face better.
“maybe three, i mean growing up as three brothers I’ve always wanted three of my own.” he smiles, as you nod, letting one hand tangle in his loose curls at the back of his head.
“i could do three,” you start before rethinking, “although if the whole process is traumatising, i might have to rethink.” you say causing him to laugh.
“whatever you want baby, it’s your body.” he smiles, moving slightly so the hammock will rock side to side.
you finish your wine before you start to feel your eyes droop most likely due to the alcohol as you feel your glass be taken from your grip.
looking up you see jack placing them both on the floor, “come one baby, let’s head to bed.” he whispers carefully getting up as he helps you up, arm going over your shoulders as his other hand carries the two wine glasses.
you both stumble a bit, laughing at your walking before making it to the kitchen, sliding open the patio door and creeping inside, locking the door behind you.
he places the two glasses in the sink before turning back to you, taking you in his arms, yours moving around his neck.
“how do you feel about a boat day tomorrow baby?” he asks, hands running up and down your hips, swaying left to right.
“is like that.” you smile, placing a small kiss below his ear before heading upstairs to bed. he guides you upstairs hand on your lower back and into his room, locking the door behind while you walk over to grab something to change into.
you decide on one of jacks old training camp t-shirts and strip of your shorts and top, unclasping your bra before sliding on the shirt, just staying in your panties.
you turn seeing jack frozen in place one eyebrow raised.
“what?” you giggle at his posture.
“you’re just so hot,” he says making you laugh even more, walking over to him, his hands grasping your waist, “i’d get you pregnant eighth here if i could.” he whispers with a smirk as you smack his chest.
“jack,” you whisper shout seeing his smirk turn to a grin, “i mean id probably let you but im on my period right now.” you say seeing his face turn to disappointment, “also put a ring on me first please.” you say as his eyebrows raise.
“i’d marry you tomorrow baby.” he whispers pressing his face into your neck, pressing soft kisses up and down.
“me too baby, me too.” you smile before pulling away to finish getting ready.
you move into the bathroom, tying your hair up and starting to wash your face, while jack walks in after a few minutes in just some sweatpants ready for bed.
he comes up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist, head resting on your shoulder as you finish your skincare.
“can i try some of that?” he asks, as you put on your moisturiser. you smile at his curiosity before hopping up onto the counter, letting him step between your legs, hands on your thighs as you apply a thin layer across his skin.
“you’ve got gorgeous skin honey.” you smile, how he never gets any zits and doesn’t even wash his face properly is crazy to you.
you finish before he grabs you by the waist as you squeal in surprise, carrying you back to bed, laying you down before he lays ontop of you, face buried between your breasts.
“you ok there jacky?” you ask, seeing a content smile on his face at his position.
“i just love your boobs y/n,” he whispers causing you to laugh, but quickly quieten down again as there’s a small knock at the door.
jack moves, so he’s sitting up, resting on his elbow, before quietly saying “come in,” seeing his cousin peek inside with a certain someone in their arms.
“so sorry to wake you jack, but she won’t go to sleep unless it’s with you,” she says, feeling guilty as jack just smiles.
“don’t worry, she can sleep with us.” he smiles, looking down to you for confirmation. you nod smiling at him, before his cousin comes over laying her on jacks chest, ellie immediately lighting up at jacks presence, as his cousin leaves.
“jack jack.” she mumbles half asleep, before light snores come from her as she falls asleep almost immediately.
“she’s precious.” you whisper, cuddling into jack side, head resting on the spare area of his chest, “can’t wait for us to have our own little family.” you whisper, feeling a light kiss pressed to the top of your head.
“soon baby, i promise, soon.”
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kxsagi · 3 months ago
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Can you please make a hc of blue lock 11 with a reader who is an exchange student and their family is basically a host for the 3 years of readers school? Omg I wonder how'd they'll deal with thatđŸ«ŁđŸ«Ł
“𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 đ„đąđ€đž 𝐚 𝐬𝐡𝐹𝐭 𝐹𝐟 đžđŹđ©đ«đžđŹđŹđšâ€
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a/n: some might be out of character/not canon and i apologize 😓
ft. isagi yoichi, itoshi rin, nagi seishiro, otoya eita, yukimiya kenyu, karasu tabito, bachira meguru, chigiri hyoma, niko ikki, gagamaru gin, mikage reo, hiori yo, barou shoei
isagi yoichi
the moment you arrive, isagi’s mom greets you like you’re her long-lost child. full-on apron, cookies, and “sweetheart, are you hungry?” 
isagi tries to play it cool but nearly knocks over a vase when you smile and say his name with your accent. 
you quickly become the golden child of the household. his parents adore you. they’re always like “why can’t you be more like her?” 
he’s so stressed. 
you help him study for school and he helps you with japanese, except half the time you catch him staring at your mouth when you pronounce things wrong. 
one night you’re wearing pajama shorts and brushing your teeth, and he walks past the bathroom, sees your legs, and promptly runs into the wall. 
tries to hide his feelings until his mom says, “you know, you’d make a cute couple,” and he short-circuits on the spot. 
his little cousin saw you two giggling and drew a picture labeled “isagi’s wife.” he’s still recovering. 
itoshi rin
rin’s family? normal. rin? not emotionally equipped for this. 
when you show up, he avoids eye contact and just mutters “room’s down the hall.” 
his older brother sae walks by, raises a brow, and just goes “... good luck.” 
rin has a system. a routine. a silent household. then you walk in with your foreign snacks and your cheery little “good morning!” and it’s all downhill. 
you catch him watching you dance around while making eggs. he denies it to this day. 
he keeps buying your favorite snacks “just because they were on sale,” but they never are. 
his mom loves you. invites you to help cook. rin accidentally says “thank you” to you instead of her and chokes on his rice. 
one day you fall asleep on the couch with your head on his shoulder. he doesn’t move for three hours. not even to use the bathroom. 
nagi seishiro
you move in and within the first hour he’s like “can i nap in your room?” 
his mom is an absolute saint. she keeps asking if you’re comfortable and if nagi is being too lazy (he is). 
nagi gets attached too fast. follows you around the house like a sleepy cat. 
you teach him slang from your country and he starts using it in the most inappropriate situations. 
like “yo that’s fire” about a math test. 
he accidentally sees you in a face mask one night and thinks you’re a ghost. goes into cardiac arrest. wakes up his mom. 
he gets a little jealous when you get friendly with some neighborhood boys and mumbles “don’t like that” under his breath. 
tries to impress you by scoring goals at the park. ends up tripping on the ball and says it’s your fault for watching him. 
otoya eita
the moment you show up, he leans on the doorframe with a smirk and says, “i didn’t know foreign girls were this cute.” 
his mom adores you. his sister adores you. his grandma’s ready to knit you a sweater. 
otoya? in hell. 
flirts with you constantly, but you’re unfazed, and it drives him nuts. 
you steal his hair ties and his hoodie once, and he lays face down on the floor for ten minutes. 
makes you breakfast once, shirtless, like it’s a romcom. burns the toast. still acts like it was seductive. 
one day you walk in wearing his oversized hoodie and he just deadass says “i’m gonna marry you.” 
accidentally says “babe” instead of your name. pretends it was a joke. it was not. 
yukimiya kenyu
this man’s family has taste. they have scented candles. fancy dinner. classical music at breakfast. 
yukimiya greets you like a prince: “welcome to our home. i hope you’ll be comfortable.” 
you trip on the rug and he catches you bridal-style. moment one. 
his mom invites you to spa nights. his dad debates art with you. he teaches you skincare routines with extreme intensity. 
once you walked into the kitchen in an old t-shirt and his jaw dropped like you were on a runway. 
you catch him posing in the mirror and he’s like “it’s for my mental clarity.” 
gets flustered when you compliment him. “you look good today.” visible lag in system. 
literally gets pouty when you don't notice his new cologne. he 100% wears it for you. 
karasu tabito
his mom welcomes you with open arms and a giant plate of food. 
his dad is chill. and karasu? chaotic big brother mode activated. 
teases you constantly: your accent, your height, your choice in cereal – nothing is safe. 
but threatens to fight a guy in your class when he hears someone called you “foreign girl” like it’s an insult. 
his mom starts calling you her “bonus daughter.” karasu tells everyone you're the "family's favorite now." 
has a secret soft spot for when you say his name gently. tries not to show it. 
once you fell asleep on his shoulder and he pretended to be annoyed but didn’t move for two hours. 
brags to everyone at school that you live with him. “yeah, she’s kinda obsessed with me.” he gets kicked for that. 
bachira meguru
bachira’s house is a vibe. weird posters, odd trinkets, and like, randomly hanging up abstract art that only he can explain. 
he greets you with a high-energy “LET'S GO! YOU’RE HERE! LET’S PARTY!” and immediately drags you to play soccer in the yard. 
his mom’s just as chill as he is. she hands you a plate of food like she’s been waiting for you to get hungry. 
bachira’s motto: “let’s make the weirdest memories!” 
at 2 AM, he convinces you to help him paint his nails. it’s a disaster. 
you catch him mimicking your accent to “improve his language skills,” and it’s honestly more terrifying than cute. 
he constantly sneaks in unnecessary touches. he’s like “nah, i was just trying to help you out” when he’s accidentally on your lap. 
tries to cook for you once. it’s a mess. he hands you a bowl of noodles he made, and the noodles are like
 stuck together. “it’s art, okay?” 
one day you fall asleep on the couch with your head on his shoulder, and he lowkey takes a picture to show off to his friends. 
chigiri hyoma
chigiri’s family is super chill. dad’s got a fancy job, mom’s super organized, and his older sister follows you around, asking way too many questions. 
you’re immediately like “wow, this is classy” but then chigiri starts making weird noises to entertain his sister, and you’re like, okay, this is not what i expected. 
chigiri gets flustered every time you compliment him. “stop, i can’t concentrate,” he says as you casually mention he’s good at soccer. 
one time you’re just chilling in the living room, and he walks by in a t-shirt and sweatpants and he’s suddenly the most attractive person you’ve ever seen. 
he denies he’s into you, but when you’re both playing video games together, he gets a little too competitive and ends up sitting way too close to you on the couch. 
he lets you borrow his hoodie. you almost faint because it smells like him. tragic. 
at a family dinner, he tries to be the perfect son but you catch him sneaking a french fry from your plate. “hey, don’t judge me, i’m hungry.” 
lowkey panics when his mom calls you “her new daughter.” he’s like, “no no, she’s just staying for three years. not like that
” 
niko ikki
niko’s house is quiet. like
 eerily quiet. the kind of quiet where you feel bad walking too loudly on the hardwood floors. 
his parents are polite but very hands-off. they give you space, and niko follows suit, but not out of rudeness. that’s just how he is. 
when you arrive, niko gives you a curt nod and simply says, “welcome.” that’s it. no wild greetings, no over-the-top gestures. and honestly? it’s kind of comforting. 
the guest room is perfectly tidy. stocked with extra pillows, a reading lamp, and a little sticky note on the desk that just says: “make yourself comfortable. – niko.” 
niko doesn’t hover, but you’ll catch him glancing over his manga when you walk into the room, like he’s curious but too shy to say anything. 
sometimes you’ll sit next to him while he plays handheld games and he won’t say a word, but he won’t leave either. 
the first time you compliment his gameplay or mention you like anime too, he literally stiffens. straightens back. pauses game. “
 really?” 
he starts recommending titles to you through sticky notes, or leaving them conveniently open on the coffee table. 
eventually, he starts talking more, quietly, but warmly. about small things, like how to use the rice cooker, or what time the house gets loud because the neighbors vacuum daily. 
one night, you wake up to find him in the living room watching anime with headphones. he sees you and takes them off. “you can join me, if you want.” 
his affection isn’t loud, but he’ll wait for you after school, cook extra rice, and walk on the side of the sidewalk closest to traffic. he doesn’t say why. he just does. 
and his parents? after three months, they start treating you like you’re part of the family – quiet dinners, warm nods, and the occasional “we’re glad you’re here.” 
gagamaru gin
gagamaru’s family is straight-up chaotic. it’s loud, even though his parents are extremely chill, and the house is filled with weird art projects and half-finished DIY projects. 
you immediately hit it off with his mom, who teaches you all the “good gossip” about gagamaru’s childhood. 
gagamaru acts tough, but once you get to know him, he’s a big teddy bear. he tries to act like a “cool older brother,” but ends up giving you some really questionable advice. 
once you hear a weird noise at night and go investigate. you find gagamaru trying to “reorganize” the kitchen
 at 2 AM. 
he insists on helping you with everything, but his idea of “help” is just him eating your food and giving you compliments. 
random gagamaru fact: he 100% still wears his childhood pajamas when he’s at home. 
you once get into a heated argument about whose snack is better, and he’s so passionate about it that he throws a bag of chips at the wall. 
his family starts asking you if you’re sure you don’t want to marry him. “he’s a good catch.” gagamaru chokes on his drink. 
honestly? probably the most fun house to live in because nothing is ever boring. 
mikage reo
reo’s family is fancy, and by fancy, i mean the type of fancy where everything looks perfectly polished, the plates are fine china, and everything is “just so.” 
his parents immediately recognize you as a special guest. they treat you like royalty, which is both flattering and terrifying. 
reo is a softy for you, even though he tries to play it off. “i’m just being polite,” he’ll say, but he’s literally making your favorite drink every morning. 
you walk into his room once, and it’s like
 the room of a true rich kid – velvet sheets, a bookshelf full of books on money, and his perfectly organized clothes. 
reo’s mom gives you a quick rundown of their house rules, and one of them is that “reo never finishes his dinner.” reo gets very flustered when you finish his portion. 
he buys you a cute necklace and tries to play it off like it’s nothing. you thank him and now his entire family is like “oh, they’re totally dating now.” 
tries to style your hair once and it ends in an absolute disaster. both of you end up laughing, and his parents are watching the whole thing. 
hiori yo
you could tell the moment you entered hiori’s home: it was beautiful, polished
 and a little too perfect. 
his parents greet you with smiles that don’t quite reach their eyes. “we expect greatness from those who live under this roof,” his father says. 
hiori’s standing behind them, quiet. unreadable. he nods at you gently, then helps you carry your bags inside. 
your room is pristine. everything feels like it belongs in a catalog. hiori knocks on your door before you can even unpack. “if you need anything
 just let me know.” 
you slowly learn that hiori’s the kind of person who notices everything: you like warm tea in the morning? he’ll make some before you’re up. you study better with music? he shares his playlist. 
his parents are polite, but distant. hiori rarely speaks to them at meals, and when he does, it’s measured. practiced. but with you? he’s quieter, but real. 
you catch him reading on the balcony after practice, hair still wet, eyes far away. “you ever feel like your life’s not really yours?” he asks one evening. 
when you’re cooking together (because he’s really good at it, to your surprise), he opens up a little more. “i used to think being the best was all i had to offer,” he says, “but lately
 i think there’s more.” 
he teaches you things without making you feel dumb. soccer, math, even how to tie a scarf properly. he’s got this wise, old-soul energy that makes you feel calm around him. 
over time, he starts laughing more. soft, rare laughs that make your heart flip. and he starts walking into your room without knocking, only when he’s sure you’re alone, though. 
his parents start commenting on how much happier he seems. his mother pulls you aside once and says, “thank you for being here. it’s
 different now.” 
and hiori? he thanks you in his own way, through gestures, little notes left on your notebook, the way he waits up when you’re late, and the way he listens. really listens. 
“you make this house feel like a home,” he says one night. then looks away, ears pink. “... just thought you should know.” 
barou shoei
barou’s family is no-nonsense, and he’s the golden child, which means you are immediately in the spotlight. 
his mom does not play when it comes to manners. “you better treat her well, sho.” barou literally turns into a different person when his mom’s around. 
you catch him randomly flexing in the mirror and get awkwardly complimented about his “perfect physique.” 
one time, you definitely tease him about being a king, and he just glares, but then in a lowkey way starts acting like he’s your personal bodyguard. 
you think barou is cocky, but the second you show up wearing his team jersey (just to try it on), his entire mood changes. 
barou’s mom loves you. barou? not so much when she starts asking you about your future together. 
every time barou tries to “show off” in front of you, he ends up doing something embarrassing, like tripping over his own feet. 
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imhalfplastic · 22 days ago
Text
the weight of what we buried
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âŠč overview — pairing: jeonghan x f!reader genre: mystery · contemporary fiction · psychological drama · angst themes: grief & trauma, complicated family dynamics, secrets & lies, unreliable memories, guilt & protection, fractured relationships. cw: death, violence, blood, emotional distress, implied substance use, anxiety, mention of alcohol
summary: the case was closed. the door was locked. and yet... the questions remain. because something still doesn’t feel right. and it’s getting harder to pretend you don’t see the shadow. invisible, but impossible to ignore.
nets: @kpopficsalon
ps: thanks @cheol-e-kat and @escoupsue for the real talk and tips to level up the story, you guys really came through!
now playing: skinny love - birdy
no one cried the way they were supposed to.
not like they do in movies or documentaries or in those long, aching stories people post online when they’ve lost someone they love. here, everything was too quiet. too still. like grief had arrived wearing gloves and didn’t want to touch anything.
you sat in the corner of the room, clutching a cup of tea that had gone cold in your hands, and watched them. your mother, trembling, wiping the same tear over and over like she didn’t know how to stop. your father, frozen, eyes fixed on the carpet. they were saying goodbye to their first child, though nothing in the room felt alive to begin with.
no one screamed. no one sobbed. someone put on a playlist too soft to hear. someone brought egg salad. someone touched your shoulder and he was “so full of light.”
you nodded. you said thank you.
you were wearing his hoodie. still too big on you, even after all these years of stealing it when he wasn’t looking. you’d washed it out of instinct, and now it smelled like lavender detergent instead of him. and you hated yourself for that.
like maybe the scent was the last part of him left.
you try to remember the last time you saw him. you were in the kitchen, arguing. not about anything serious. you can’t even remember the reason now. something about bills or plans or how he always forgot to lock the door. you said, “you never think about consequences”. and he snapped back, “maybe i don’t have to”.
he slammed a drawer shut. you rolled your eyes. and that was it.
you didn’t hug him. you always hugged him, even in silence, even after fights. but that day you didn’t. and now that day haunts your every breath.
a few people brought up the incident.
your cousin said it was bad luck. your uncle asked if they ever caught the guy who hit you. your mom smiled without showing her teeth and changed the subject like she was shooing a fly.
you didn’t say anything. not about how you still dreamt about the sound. not about how you could still feel the ache behind your ear when you touched it too hard in the shower. not about how sometimes you woke up sweating, convinced someone was standing at the foot of your bed.
you swallowed it all.
they called it a break-in. wrong place, wrong time. but sometimes you wonder if that was when everything actually began.
jeonghan wasn’t at the funeral. no one asked about him. no one said his name.
but you did. quietly. twice.
he wasn’t just your brother’s best friend. he was your brother’s shadow. sometimes, it felt like he belonged to your family more than you did.
and now nothing.
they closed the case. said there was no evidence. no fingerprints. no weapon. no motive. just a fall. an accident. wrong place, wrong time again.
they questioned jeonghan, of course. he was the last person to see him alive. but nothing stuck. nothing pointed to him.
you tried to believe it. you tried.
but your body wouldn’t let you.
sometimes you dream about him.
not the way he was. not your brother. just
 a shape, crumpled at the base of a tree. a scream caught in your throat. blood on your hands. the kind that doesn’t wash off.
you told someone once that you thought it was jeonghan. that something about the way he stopped showing up, the way his number went quiet, the way that something didn’t sit right.
they said you were tired. said grief messes with memory. said jeonghan loved your brother. everyone loved your brother. you were making things up.
you didn’t argue. you just stopped talking about it.
but deep down, something kept pulsing under your skin like it knew more than you did.
you don’t know what you’re trying to prove. maybe that your brother wouldn’t have died for no reason. maybe that you’re not crazy for still dreaming about blood. or maybe (just maybe) you want jeonghan to look you in the eyes and say:
“yes. it was me.”
because then maybe it would finally make sense why your hands won’t stop shaking when you remember the sound of something breaking in the woods.
before anything else, they were a duo. your brother and jeonghan. same age, three years older than you.
the kind of friendship that makes people jealous. that language only two people can speak. where the punchlines don’t need explaining and the silence doesn’t get uncomfortable.
they met in middle school, and by the time you were old enough to care, jeonghan was already a fixture in your life. in your kitchen. on your couch. in your family photos. he was the third child in a two-child house, the voice at the end of the hallway saying “where’s the cereal?” like he lived there.
and for a while, you didn’t mind being the little sister. you sat at the edge of things listening to their jokes, watching their games, memorizing the rhythm of their friendship like a song you weren’t allowed to sing.
sometimes, they included you. jeonghan would let you pick the music on late night drives, or ask for your opinion when your brother was being stubborn. he’d ruffle your hair like you were still ten, even when you were seventeen. and call you “kid” like he didn’t know your name.
you rolled your eyes, but never said anything. because he was kind to you. and you loved him long before you had the right to.
things didn’t shift all at once. it was quiet. gradual. an eye contact that lingered too long. a laugh that meant something else.
by the time you turned nineteen, the distance between you and jeonghan started shrinking. and the one between him and your brother started to stretch.
you don’t even remember how it began. a party. a drink too many. maybe the music was too loud or maybe he just looked at you like he finally saw you.
you kissed him first. or maybe he kissed you. you’ll argue both sides for years.
it didn’t become a thing.
not officially. just occasional. stolen, clumsy, never serious. you didn’t talk about it. which somehow made it worse.
you didn’t mean to hurt anyone. he was an adult. you were an adult. and your brother didn’t have to know.
but of course he knew.
of course he did.
the night he found out wasn’t dramatic. he didn’t yell. he didn’t throw anything. he just looked at you like something had broken. like you had broken it.
he stopped talking to jeonghan after that. no big blowout. no explanation. just a slow, deliberate silence. like cutting a thread.
you tried to ask what happened. tried to explain. tried to say it wasn’t serious. but he didn’t want to hear it.
“i don’t care what it was.” he said. “you’re my sister. he’s not supposed to look at you like that.”
you and jeonghan drifted. not in anger, just in caution. like you both understood something had shifted too far, and neither of you knew how to pull it back.
you started answering his texts slower. he stopped showing up at your door. the pauses in conversation got longer.
until it stopped altogether.
and still, somehow, he and your brother found their way back to each other. tentatively. quietly. you’d hear his voice in the house again. you’d see his shoes by the door. you never asked how it happened. some reconciliations are too sacred to touch.
so you stayed out of it. you watched from a distance, again. like you always had.
and when your brother started laughing like he used to, you let yourself believe it meant things were okay.
but now, you wonder if they ever really were. because even then, there were cracks. restless eyes. shaky hands. too many locked doors. missed calls.
he’d go out without a word and come back quiet, like he was trying to hold something in. and when you asked where he’d been, he’d smile too easily. shrug too fast.
you wanted to believe him. so you tried to move on. 
you told yourself you weren’t mad of how you were now treated with the polite distance of a shared memory. you started seeing other people. went out more. let your phone die on purpose. 
some nights you stayed out too late just to prove to yourself that you could. that you didn’t care. 
so when your friends cancelled last minute, when you stood in the cold outside a half-empty bar with smudged eyeliner and ringing ears, you just ordered a car home. you didn’t text your brother. didn’t text jeonghan. you didn’t think there was anyone waiting for you.
it was almost 2 a.m. your phone was at 7%. you remember the exact number. funny, how some things stick.
the uber dropped you a few houses away. you didn’t want the headlights to wake anyone. you walked the rest of the way, arms wrapped around yourself, heels clicking against the pavement like a metronome.
the porch light was off. the door was unlocked. it struck you, but not hard. your brother was always forgetful. you stepped inside and closed the door behind you.
the house was still. dark, except for the hallway lamp your mother always left on. you didn’t turn on any lights. didn’t call out.
you slipped off your shoes. dropped your purse on the table.
you moved through the living room slowly, tugging off your jacket, already thinking about the shower you’d take, the waffle you might microwave. and then
a sound. faint, but real. too soft to be nothing.
you froze.
another step. closer. too fast.
you turned instinctively, just as something moved in the hallway.
a figure. taller than you, dressed in dark clothes, a hood pulled low, face swallowed by shadow. for a second, the world folded in on itself. your body didn’t know how to scream. everything in you braced, but too late. the blur came toward you, and before you could process what it was and what it meant, there was a sharp impact against the side of your head.
you dropped.
no sound. no time. just black.
you woke up in the hospital. they said you were lucky. just a concussion. the intruder had fled.
your mom said it was a robbery. your dad said it was trauma. and your brother, he didn’t say much at all.
just sat beside you, biting at the skin on his thumb, eyes too wide, too bright, like he hadn’t slept in days.
after that, things got
 strange.
you felt it before you saw it. in the space between two glances. in the way your brother said jeonghan’s name. not with anger, but with weight. like the word itself had become something sharp to hold.
they weren’t fighting. not exactly. but they weren’t as easy with each other anymore.
conversations that used to flow turned into fragmented sentences. inside jokes dried up. your brother started answering calls in other rooms. jeonghan stopped staying for dinner.
and when they did speak, it was always in code. sentences that didn’t end. eyes that didn’t meet.
you tried not to read into it. everyone changes. people grow apart. maybe it was college or stress.
but one night, you walked into the kitchen and saw jeonghan already there. just standing. arms crossed. staring out the window like he was trying to breathe through something.
your brother came in a minute later. stopped when he saw him and there was this silence. so thick, so sudden that your skin prickled.
“we’re not talking about this again.” your brother said. and jeonghan just laughed. low and bitter, like there was nothing funny at all.
neither of them noticed you were in the doorway. neither of them cared.
jeonghan came by less often. your brother barely left his room anymore. and once, when you were passing the hallway, you heard them in the living room.
not yelling. not quite whispering.
but whatever it was, it wasn’t casual.
“you think i won’t do it?”
“you’re not thinking straight.”
“i think i’m the only one thinking straight!”
“this isn’t your family.”
and then footsteps. a door closing. and you standing there with your heart lodged somewhere behind your ribs.
you asked your brother that night if he was okay. he said yeah. you asked if he and jeonghan had fought. he said no. you asked if it had anything to do with you.
he looked at you for a long time. too long. “just stay out of it, y/n.”
he walked out. left you in the dark with your tea still steeping.
and you knew, in the way you know a storm before it rains, that something was going to snap. you just didn’t know when.
but maybe it already had. maybe you were just the last one to hear it break.
so since the funeral, you’d been keeping notes. you kept finding pieces. in old texts. in photos. in things you didn’t know you’d kept.
jeonghan’s name came up more than it should. and every time it did, something twisted in your stomach.
the dreams didn’t help.
you woke up gasping some nights. hands clenched, nails dug into your palms, sweat at the back of your neck like someone breathing. sometimes there was blood on your hands. sometimes a scream. sometimes the sound of something cracking open.
you didn’t tell anyone. not at first.
but the dreams kept getting louder.
you told yourself it was grief. but grief doesn’t feel like this. grief doesn’t make you paranoid. doesn’t make you open your brother’s old phone and read things a hundred different ways, searching for what isn’t written.
the texts weren’t clear. not enough for anyone else to care. but enough for you.
[jeonghan, 2:12 a.m.] you’re gonna do it. or i will.
[your brother, 2:14 a.m.] it’s not that simple
[jeonghan, 2:15 a.m.] you think i’m just gonna forget?
[your brother, 2:16 a.m.] it was a mistake.
[jeonghan, 2:19 a.m.] no. it was a decision. now make another one.
you didn’t know what they were talking about. but you read it again and again. until the words started rearranging themselves into something worse.
you imagined a threat. jeonghan cornering him. jeonghan saying you do it or i will like a warning.
you imagined your brother scared. desperate. being forced into something.
and it made sense, didn’t it? jeonghan had vanished after the funeral. said nothing. showed up nowhere. grieved quietly, like a man cleaning up his own mess.
you tried telling your mom.
you sat across from her in the kitchen, held your phone like it meant something.
she didn’t even look at the screen.
“i miss him too...” she said softly.
you pressed on.
you said jeonghan wasn’t acting normal. that he knew something. that there were messages. that he was involved.
her face didn’t change.
“your brother and jeonghan had a complicated friendship,” she said. “but they loved each other.”
you shook your head, fingers tightening.
“you didn’t see them that last week. something was wrong.”
she sighed.
“something was always wrong with your brother lately.”
that made you pause.
“what do you mean?”
she hesitated. looked down at her hands.
“i think...” she said carefully, “he was carrying more than he could handle. and i think that weight made him act in ways he wouldn’t have, otherwise.”
you stared at her. she reached for your hand.
“i loved him. more than anything. but this
” she nodded at the phone in your hand, “this isn’t going to bring him back.”
you pulled your hand away.
“you’re just like everyone else.” you said, voice breaking. “you don’t want the truth. you just want to move on.”
“no y/n.” she said gently. “i want you to come back.”
but you were already gone.
there’s no real moment where you decide to go. you’re just out and it’s late, and your body moves toward his building like it remembers the way better than you do. the key’s still in your bag. the one he gave you when things were still simple. and maybe that’s all the permission you need.
his place is quiet. lights off. windows shut. you don’t knock. you slip in, like memory. like guilt.
the air inside smells like cedar and something faintly citrus. it’s cleaner than you expected. a little too clean, like someone’s been trying to erase something.
you stand in the middle of the living room for a moment, unsure what you’re looking for. maybe proof. maybe closure. maybe nothing.
still, your feet take you down the hall. you open the door to his bedroom. you hesitate.
the top drawer of his dresser isn’t locked. you wish it were.
inside: a black mask, carefully folded. his black jacket, the one he wore the week everything fell apart. in the pocket: a small pistol and your mother’s jewelry, the ones stolen that day. your breath caught.
it didn’t make sense. but it didn’t have to.
he had the jewelry. he had a gun.
your hands were trembling as you stepped back into the living room, heart pounding so loud it drowned out the quiet.
you didn’t hear the front door open. but you heard his voice.
“y/n?”
you turned, slowly. the gun shaking in your hands. jeonghan stopped where he stood, his eyes falling to the weapon.
he didn’t speak at first. he just looked at you, like he already knew how far gone you were.
“what are you doing with that?” he asked, softly.
“don’t move.”
he raised both hands, not in fear, but in resignation. like someone who’d already been expecting this moment.
you stepped forward.
“you knew.” you said. “you knew something. you threatened him. he was scared. you forced him into something he didn’t want.”
jeonghan swallowed hard.
“y/n...”
“don’t lie to me.”
you held the gun tighter. your voice cracked on every word.
“what did you do to him?”
“i didn’t touch him.”
“then why did you run after the funeral? why did you keep everything?”
“because i couldn’t let it go.” he said, voice sharp. “because you wouldn’t remember.”
your breath hitched. you stared at him. the room felt like it was tilting.
“remember what?”
he stepped closer, just barely. his hands still raised. his expression unreadable. but there was something in his voice now. something frayed and breaking.
“the break-in...” he said. “it wasn’t random.”
you blinked. shook your head. no. not this again.
“your brother wasn’t a saint, y/n. you know that.” jeonghan’s voice was low, but steady. “he was using. your parents found out and it was a whole fucking mess. they cut him off. no allowance, no backup plan, nothing.”
he looked at you like he was daring you to deny it.
“your brother needed money,” he went on, slower this time. “and he thought he could fake a robbery. but you came home early. you weren’t supposed to be there.”
your stomach twisted.
“you’re lying.”
“he panicked. he hit you. you don’t remember any of that?”
you took a step back. the room shrunk.
“you’re making this up. to protect yourself.”
his voice didn’t change. but something in his face did.
“have you never wondered why your nightmares always end with the sound of something breaking?”
you froze.
“what are you talking about?”
“the day he died.” jeonghan said, eyes locked on yours. “do you remember where you were?”
your mouth opened, but nothing came out.
“you followed him.” he said. “you saw us fighting.”
“stop.”
“you heard what i said to him.”
“stop.”
“you saw the knife in his hand. you saw him come at me.”
you were shaking. your fingers curled tighter around the trigger. you felt like you were underwater.
he took one more step.
“so what?” your voice rises, desperate. “you snapped? you decided he didn’t deserve to walk away from it? you killed him to protect me?”
his voice cracked.
“i cant believe that your fucking brain is still trying to protect you from the one thing i couldn’t forget.”
you stared at him. your voice dropped to a whisper.
“what the fuck are you talking about, jeonghan?”
his voice dropped too.
“i’m talking about that night.”
he paused.
“i’m talking about the way you showed up. about the way you screamed when you saw him come at me. about the way you grabbed the nearest thing you could find and didn’t even think.”
and suddenly, it’s like your lungs forget how to work.
the room disappears. his voice fades. your legs weaken.
and then something inside you clicks. not a memory. not yet. just a feeling.
like something breaking loose.
and then it starts coming back. slow at first, like fog lifting over something you didn’t know was buried.
that night.
you remember your brother’s voice before anything else. angry. sharp around the edges. it cut through the walls, even with the door closed.
you had come home early. you weren’t supposed to. just a stupid change of plans. your friend’s car broke down, the party was dead, you’d said maybe it was a sign to sleep for once.
you stepped inside, kicked your shoes off, and heard it. his voice in the kitchen, loud, rushed, like he didn’t know who he was yelling at anymore.
“i said i’m handling it.” pause. “you think i want to be in this mess?”
you stood in the hallway, just listening. he didn’t know you were home yet.
“i didn’t mean for it to go like that.” he snapped. then quieter. “i didn’t know she’d be there.”
your blood ran cold.
he hung up fast.
you stepped into the kitchen. he was already putting on his jacket, not even looking at you.
“where are you going?”
he stopped, but didn’t turn around.
“out.”
“with who?”
“no one.”
“are you okay?”
he finally turned to face you.
his expression was
 off. not angry. not sad. just somewhere else.
“why are you back?”
“my plans changed.”
“you shouldn’t have come home early.”
“why?”
“not why. when.”
“wait. what?”
but he was already gone. door swinging shut behind him. his voice echoing in your head.
you stood there for a second. then grabbed your coat. you didn’t think. you just followed.
the night air was cold. your breath came out in short bursts, fogging in front of you. he was walking fast, almost running. you kept your distance, trying to stay in the shadows.
he turned toward the woods. toward the old path behind the train tracks.
and something in your chest told you to stop. but your legs didn’t listen. you crept closer. saw them before they saw you.
your brother. jeonghan.
standing across from each other, a few feet apart. just beyond the edge of the trees. where no one else could hear them.
your brother’s hands were shaking. jeonghan looked exhausted. like he hadn’t slept in days.
“you don’t get to do this now, jeonghan!” your brother said, his voice low but urgent. “you said we were done.”
“you lied,” jeonghan replied. “you said it was an accident.”
“it was.”
“you knocked your sister unconscious.”
your breath caught in your throat.
“you left her bleeding in your own house.”
“she wasn’t supposed to be there!”
“but she was! and you ran like a fucking pussy.”
your brother stepped closer, voice rising.
“what do you want from me?”
jeonghan’s fists clenched at his sides.
“i want you to take responsibility.”
“you want me to ruin my life?”
“you already did.”
silence stretched between them.
then jeonghan said, softer this time. “she thinks it was some stranger. that it was just a break-in.”
your brother looked away.
“if she ever finds out
”
jeonghan’s voice cracked.
“you don’t deserve to walk around like none of it happened.”
“so what?” your brother snapped. “you’re gonna tell her? tell our parents?”
“if you won’t, i will.”
your brother’s jaw clenched.
“you think you’re some fucking hero?”
“i think i’m the only one still trying to protect her”, jeonghan said.
and then
your brother moved. fast. too fast.
his hand inside his coat. a flash of silver. the blade glinting in the dark. he lunged forward. jeonghan flinched, caught it in the arm. blood, immediate and dark, soaking into his sleeve.
you didn’t think. you ran.
you grabbed the first thing your hands could find. a rock. cold. jagged.
you heard your name. heard your brother shout something.
but it was all too fast. too loud.
you screamed. your feet pounded against the earth.
you didn’t mean to. you just

you swung.
the impact echoed through your bones. a sound like something splitting open. his body crumpled.
his hand fell open. the knife hit the ground.
jeonghan dropped to his knees. one hand pressed to his arm, the other reaching toward you like he didn’t know what to say.
you stood there. rock in hand. blood on your wrist. your own breath rattling in your chest.
then
darkness. everything going black around the edges. your legs folding under you. silence, except for the thudding in your ears.
the world tilts. your knees give out. you fall hard against the cold earth. the rock slips from your fingers, clattering against the dirt. your breath comes in ragged gasps.
everything inside you is shaking. not just your hands, but your whole body.
tears blur your vision. you want to scream, to run, to disappear. but you can’t move. you’re trapped between what you rememberand what you desperately want to forget.
jeonghan kneels beside you, his voice soft, barely above a whisper.
“do you remember now?”
you don’t answer. the silence between you feels endless. like the moment itself is holding its breath.
you close your eyes, trying to hold the pieces of yourself together but the weight of it all is crushing.
and in the quiet, you finally realize the nightmare was never over.
after that night, everything changed.
you didn’t tell anyone. not the police. not your mother. not even yourself, not out loud.
it stayed between you and jeonghan. and the woods. and the dark.
you kept waiting for the guilt to go somewhere. to drain out through your fingertips or dissolve in your sleep. but it stayed. sharp. steady. settling beneath your skin like something permanent.
jeonghan didn’t talk about it again. he just called sometimes. showed up at the edge of things. not close, not far.
and when you asked him where the jewelry went, he only shrugged. said maybe it didn’t matter anymore.
but you remembered how he started dressing differently after. how he traded in his old car. how the quiet around him turned from sadness into something that looked a little too much like relief.
and you started wondering.
you replayed the messages again. jeonghan saying: you’re gonna do it. or i will.
but the words your brother said in person echoed louder in your mind:
“you said we were done.”
a sharp edge to them. a final break in whatever fragile agreement they had.
and suddenly, things shifted. because what if it was never about your brother doing the right thing? what if it was about control? what if the plan hadn’t just been your brother’s? what if jeonghan had planted the idea?
what if your brother wanted out and jeonghan didn’t let him?
you started noticing the gaps in his story. the parts he let you fill in. the things he let you remember.
and then it hit you.
maybe he’s been protecting me this whole time. or maybe he just needed me to carry the guilt too.
you stood in front of the mirror one night, the world behind you silent, the past coiled somewhere deep in your lungs.
you looked at yourself. really looked. and wondered who you were without the blood. without the story you kept telling. without the safety of blame.
you held the weight of it in your hands. and didn’t know whether to let go or hold it tighter.
because the truth was (even now, even after everything) a part of you still wanted to believe him. a part of you still wanted him to be the boy who looked at you like you were worth saving.
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ace-turned-confused · 11 months ago
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sickening desire
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joel masterlist | read on ao3
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pairing: stepdad!joel miller x f!reader summary: you and your stepdad don't have much in common, but you always try to keep things friendly. back home for college break, he's not making it very easy. word count: 2,7k warnings: 18+ only, reader is able-bodied & wears a skirt, big ol' age gap (reader is nineteen), food mention, joel is big & beefy, stepcest, cheating, fucked morals all round, pet names, joel's a disgusting dirty perv (i'm so serious), smut, grinding, mentions of m & f masturbation, unprotected p in v, cockwarming, 1 spank, creampie, dirty talk, sprinkle of daddy kink, praise kink, panty kink a/n: written for @beefrobeefcal's MARRIED JOEL SITS ON YOU prompt - i got to witness the birth of this on discord, and thought how can i make this cute idea deranged instead, so here we are. idk how all this happened. this is stepcest, you have been warned. if it's not your thing then pls scroll on, no hard feelings in here <3 not beta'd
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After weeks of phone calls, texts and endless hounding from your mother, you caved and decided to come home for your college break. She was missing you like crazy, and apparently you had aunts and cousins who were just dying to see you after so long, no doubt ready to bombard you with questions about the life of a college girl as if you were the first of the kind.
So, you came home to your mom and her new-ish husband, Joel Miller. You can count the number of times you’ve met him on one hand, one of those occasions being their wedding. You’re not sure how they make it work, but then opposites do attract

Marriage has been good to Joel, his mental health and financial stability have improved, and overall he seems a happier person — not that you could tell from looking at him, with a permanent scowl etched on his face. The only ‘drawback’ seemed to be the effect it had on his waistline — his jeans now too tight around his thighs, the seams visibly strained, and his tummy poking out past his belt. They no doubt add to his eternal pissed-off facade, but he’s far too stubborn to admit he needs to buy new ones.
Your mom reminds him, often, how much he’s filled out in recent times, and judging by the bitterness in her voice, she clearly doesn’t approve. You’re not sure why she disapproves, but you’d never admit that.
From what you know, he’s neither an overly good nor a bad guy, he’s just
 Joel, and the two of you have nothing to talk about, so you keep your distance out of courtesy. At least, you try to.
Since you’ve been home, you’ve caught him staring a few times but pin it down to aged eyesight. Most days he greets you in the kitchen with a husky ‘mornin’ sweetpea’, and makes a point of brushing up against you, half hard and warm in his threadbare sweatpants. He’ll place a hand on the small of your back when he stands beside you, pinky wandering down to toy with your waistband.
You cover up the way your breath catches and stop yourself from clenching your legs together every time — either he doesn’t have a grasp on personal space, or he’s doing this on purpose. The way he watches you move around once he’s sat down says all you need to know. You try not to think about it.
-
You’re flicking between channels one night when the front door clicks open, the heavy stomp of workboots echoing down the passage and into the room. Joel waltzes in, dumping his keys and without a word, sits directly onto you.
“What the fuck?”
“This is my chair, sweetpea. Not my fault you’re in it.”
You try pushing him off you, a losing battle with the extra kilos he’s put on since tying the knot with your mom. He mumbles something to you, his words lost underneath the TV and your strained grunting.
“What?” You huff at him, growing more and more agitated.
“I asked, you gettin’ off on this like you did sittin’ on my lap?”
Your mind swirls as you try to pinpoint what he means. It’s just when you’re about to give him lip and ask him what the fuck he’s on about, that you remember — and suddenly you wish the world would just swallow you whole.
-
During Sunday’s roast lunch, you were surrounded by extended family, filling in the blanks and avoiding the painfully personal questions; Joel spent the day with his standard disgruntled look and your mom was overzealous in her storytelling — everything and everyone just how you remembered.
Everyone broke off into smaller bubbles after lunch, and you stared at Joel as he unbuckled his belt and slumped back on your aunt’s couch — he stared right back at you, head cocked to one side as he weaselled his way into your mind with just a slight smirk and a wink, large hand resting teasingly over his crotch. You left the room, intentionally distancing yourself from him the rest of the day.
It was late afternoon by the time you begrudgingly hugged each family member goodbye and settled in the backseat next to Joel, some extras tagging along for the free ride back to your neighbourhood. With your headphones in and all other passengers occupied, you tried to nap the rest of the way home and regenerate the energy siphoned from you throughout the day. You had no complaints, up until now.
You sat up when your mom stopped off at a different house with just over half the trip still to go. Her heart of gold meant she’d offered a lift home to too many people for her one car, so being the youngest, she suggested you just squash up or sit on someone's lap
 Which is fine when you’re nine, not nineteen.
And not just anyone offered up a place, no, Joel lifted his hand in the air and said you could sit on him — with no other way to get home, you pinched your eyes and cringed, but did it anyway. You were fine for the first 15 or so minutes until the road became uneven, and you realised just how fucked this whole thing was — when you first sat down on Joel, he wasn’t hard. You took a breath to try to steady yourself without drawing extra attention.
It was just a
 natural response? God, that doesn’t make it any better.
You shifted forward, tried to reposition your weight over his legs and knees and told him you were just getting stiff — wrong fucking choice of words as you became even warmer than before.
Your mom stopped off to refuel along the way, everyone climbing out of the car to stretch, and you made a beeline for the bathroom, splashing yourself with water to cool down.
Joel watched as you came back to the car and you tried not to stare when you saw he was fully hard in his jeans; you felt mortified when you saw the damp patch you’d left on the fabric.
Back on Joel’s lap for the rest of the trip, everyone else was asleep with your mom still driving, radio turned up and blissfully unaware. You’d be able to forget about this, lock the memory away and move on if you hadn’t been so fucking turned on.
What’s worse, you making your stepdad hard, or him making you wet?
-
Joel snuck his hands onto your hips and you tensed, caught off guard by his touch.
“Keep ya steady,” he muttered, fingers digging into your skin.
Holding onto the seat in front for balance, he felt you were trying to lift your weight off him. He tightened his grip on you, slowly pulling you down onto him completely. There was no going back — he was fully hard by now, so he may as well get the most from this.
He pulled you to lean into his chest, his voice quiet in your ear, “S’alright sweetpea, almost there.”
Your head was turned to watch your mom the whole time, and Joel should have cared, but he just couldn’t, not when you were all warm and sweet on top of him. You stayed taut the entire trip home, Joel’s hands on your hips and bulge pressed deliciously against your core. He shifted you atop him every so often, and you desperately wanted to hate how good it felt.
When you finally arrived home, you clambered out of the car and left everyone to fend for themselves, darting for your room. You were about to close the door when you caught Joel staring again, the front of his jeans damp and darkened from where you were perched. You unpacked your clothes, sorted out your washing, and even took a shower but the incessant ache was still there. You finally gave in and shoved your hand between your legs.
-
A loud advert plays on the TV and brings you back into reality, Joel still firmly on top of you.
“Don’t act all fuckin’ innocent on me now, I know those panties of yours were gettin’ all wet with you grindin’ down on me like that.”
“I wasn’t—”
“You were real quick to run off to your room that night, you had to stick your fingers up in that cunt of yours to get yourself off?”
“Fuck you, Joel.”
“Oh, I’m sure you’d love to. I know you dream of gettin’ fucked real good by your daddy, huh?” He twists to look at you, the motion pushing more of his weight onto you. “No point in arguin’ with me, I heard you that night
 I’ve heard you on a lot of nights since you been home, always callin’ out for me.”
You don’t talk back as you keep pushing to get him off of you — he has enough leverage just from hearing you at night, he doesn’t also need to know that you are enjoying having his weight on you like this, unable to fight back or do anything about it.
“Now you got nothin’ to say?” He lifts himself slightly and gestures for you to get up, grabbing your wrist before you can walk away. “Did I say I was done talkin’?”
He faces you towards the TV, standing you between his now spread legs. Skating his hands up the back of your legs, goosebumps rise on your skin as he moves higher and higher, lifting the hem of your skirt as he goes. He kneads the swell of your ass, sliding his thumbs under the edge of your panties.
“These the ones you had on that day?”
“Huh?”
“Barely touched you and you already can’t think straight. Are these the panties you had on when you sat on my lap?”
“Uh, no? I don’t know, Joel.”
He pulls your panties up to expose more of your skin, smacking a hand down on the side of your ass. You jolt forward at the impact, a fresh wave of arousal seeping out between your folds.
“‘S a real shame, I bet they were soaked right through, huh? Soakin’ ‘em right now, the way you’re droolin’ for me. You wanna know somethin’, sweetpea?” You don’t bother answering, lost in the feeling of finally having his hands on you. “Never used to enjoy doin’ laundry before you came to visit, but now
 Well, now I get to see all the pretty panties you have. And I always know when you’ve been thinkin’ of me, they get extra dirty.”
He reaches up to grip your hip, his other hand twisting to push in between your legs. Your hips jerk as he traces his fingers along your damp panties, pushing up into you against the fabric.
“Seems like you actually were gettin’ off on havin’ me on top of you
” You crane your neck at the clink of his belt buckle and watch as he drags his zipper down. He stares up at you the whole time. “But now you’re gonna sit on me again.”
Pulling you backwards by your waist, he keeps your skirt lifted and hooks a finger into the gusset of your panties, tugging them aside. He runs his fingers through your folds, already sticky with need. You clench your legs when he pulls away again, and he sighs, frantic and satisfied; turning around again you see he’s taken his cock in his hand, thick and hard, coating himself in your slick.
He guides you down onto him and a gasp slips from you as he drags the head of his cock through you to line himself up. Your gasps turn to a strangled moan as he pulls you to sit, sheathing himself completely — it’s a delicious stretch without any prep, and again you find yourself wishing you could hate this, hate him for doing this.
He lets your skirt drop down again as you settle on his lap, and picks up the TV remote with one hand, the other a vice grip on your waist. He flips through the channels, ignoring the fact you’re sitting firmly on him.
“What are you doing?”
“What’s it look like? We’re watchin’ TV, sweetpea. And you’re gonna be a good girl for me and sit still. With all the starin’ and whinin’ you do, this was only a matter of time.”
“And all the staring you do?”
“As if you don’t fuckin’ love it.” You clench around him at his words and he sniggers at you. “You’re real tight, sweetheart. Now sit still.”
-
You’re not sure how long you sit like this — Joel staring deadpan at the TV with his hands wrapped around your waist, and you aching for relief as you hold back from squirming on top of him. The initial sting has subsided, replaced now with a steady and simmering burn as you leak around him.
Your breathing deepens as you fight with yourself — do stay composed and try to win, or give in and let Joel make you feel good?
“Won’t lie, sweetpea, I’m impressed. Didn’t think you had it in you.” His low voice draws you from your inner conflict. “‘Specially now that you got me in you.”
You can practically hear the shit-eating grin on his face, and he punctuates himself with a lift of his hips, rolling you on him. Fuck it, just give in. Whimpering as he repeats the motion over and over, it’s the most he’s done the entire night.
“You wanna know somethin’ else?” He keeps grinding your hips against him, the stretch of his cock and the strain of your panties against your clit bringing you closer and closer. “Dunno if you’ve ever noticed your panties go missing? S’cause I took ‘em, sweetpea. I take your pretty panties and I use ‘em to jerk off, dirty or clean, doesn’t matter to me, s’long as they’re yours. I smell ‘em, I wrap ‘em around my cock, I picture you wearin’ ‘em when I come all over ‘em.”
At some point in his rambling, he’d snaked a hand around to your front and under your skirt, and shoved his fingers in your panties to circle your clit. Just like a lot of things lately, you’re trying to hate how much you love it.
“That’s it sweetpea, come all over your daddy.”
Your legs tense, trapping his hand as he works you through your high, murmuring praises in your ear as you writhe on top of him — unfortunately for you, it’s the hardest you’ve ever come. He doesn’t give you time to think, wrapping his arms around you to lift you up and bundling your arms behind your back.
“Stay there, ‘m not done with you.”
Steadying yourself by leaning on his jean-covered thighs, he starts pistoning up into you, over and over as he uses you for his own high. Squeezing your hips, he pulls you down to match his thrusts, the room filled with his grunting and your whining and the obscene squelch from between your legs each time he fills you. It’s not long before he starts shuddering underneath you, pulling you down hard as he spills into you with a groan.
He holds you, almost affectionately in his arms as he relaxes, warm breath being puffed into your neck as he nuzzles against you and his hands smoothing over your clothes. Turning to look at him, his lips are just parted and his pupils are blown wide. You try to discern the emotion behind his eyes, surging forward to press your lips to his instead, afraid of what the truth might be.
It’s soft, it’s sweet, it’s almost pure, the way he kisses you back, the hairs of his beard and moustache prickling your skin as a hand comes up to cradle your face, the other still held around your waist. You pull back from him, and he has that usual deviant glint in his eyes when he opens them again.
He stands you in front of him, just like you were before this, and he pulls your panties back over your core. He waits and watches as his spend starts oozing out of you and gets absorbed into the already damp cotton.
“Definitely gonna make good use of these ones, sweetpea.” He winks as he stands up, tucking his softening cock back into his jeans, still sticky from both you and himself. “Next time you can wear ‘em, just like I told you.”
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tagging some friendos from the wip wednesday snippets, Imk if you'd like to be taken off <3
@luxurychristmaspudding @whocaresstillthelouvre @milla-frenchy @clawdee @burntheedges
@greenwitchfromthewoods @yopossum @evolnoomym @mountainsandmayhem @bubble-pop-eclectic
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comments & reblogs are hugely appreciated, forehead kisses to all 💜
dividers by @saradika-graphics
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chocostrwberry · 1 year ago
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who's part of the empire group? i dont really remeber you metioning it fully, i think you've said its kim, sabrina, chloe and adrien? anybody else?
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Introducing the royalty of Lycée Françoise Dupont!!
They’re names are all coined by Alya because they’re basically the richest kids in school!! Kind of code names they use to basically gossip ahaehhde
Once Adrien joined the class, Alya already had a name for him. She joked he was adopted by the Queen and followed her around like a puppy while she trained him on how to be royalty.
Lila told everyone she was essentially a “nouveau riche” according to Chloe. She claimed one of her parents was part of a long-lost duchy in Italy and inherited a large sum of money, which is a complete lie so she could weasel her way into The Empire and get closer to Adrien. Once she was found out, Adrien convinced Chloe not to boot her, but was promptly relabeled accordingly.
Kagami joins because of Adrien, but she never really fit in with their lifestyle, despite being leagues above it. Once she gets with Felix, they kind of just hang out together at school. Alya struggled with a name for her, but once the class found out her uncle owns an albino tiger and the dated clothes she wears is custom-made by top luxury designers, it was easy. The highest status than anyone else, but no power of her own. The Emperor’s Daughter.
Felix never was accepted into the group despite being Adrien’s cousin and his mom’s connections because he was a jerk to literally everyone when he got there, so he didn’t have any friends and didn’t want them.
I think these titles would kind of idolize them in a negative way. To the rest of the class they’re these exotic heartless animals that have never known what it’s like to not eat with a silver spoon, but it’s not true at all. I’d like to see their friend groups start to mix a bit later in the series!!
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palindrome-mystery · 5 months ago
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Aaron Minyard is written to be a bit of a jerk, but honestly after everything he's been through he deserves to be a bit of a jerk (as a treat).
The bullshit this man has gone through:
Found out at 13 that he has an identical twin whom his mother gave up at birth
(Likely found out at that time that she gave him up as well, only to change her mind and go back for one (1) twin. That has to cause some turmoil of what-ifs and why's)
Wrote a letter to his long-lost-twin hoping to meet and be brothers only to get a response back of "fuck you"
(At the time Andrew was trying to protect Aaron from Drake, but his only way to protect him was to keep Aaron away, but Aaron didn't know any of that)
His long lost twin soon after gets sent to Juvie
(Andrew did it intentionally because Cass/Drake wanted to invite Aaron to meet, and Andrew needed to GTFO to make sure Drake didn't get near Aaron; again, Aaron did not know any of this)
Aaron's mom then moves them from California to South Carolina.
Aaron is 13 when this happens, so Junior High going into High School, and he is uprooted and is moved across the country where he has no friends
(Nicky would have been in his final year of High School at that time, and was depressed and suicidal before leaving to be an exchange student in Germany, so Aaron probably only had a few months of having Nicky around before he left)
Aaron is the new kid from out of state, no friends, abusive mom, super religious hate-filled aunt and uncle, his older cousin who could have shown him around went to study in Germany and decided to stay even after finishing his study abroad program (no hate to Nicky, he didn't know what was happening and also had to save himself first before stepping up for the twins). He is also 5'0" so a prime target for bullying on top of everything else
We know Aaron was taken advantage of a lot around this time, in the extra content where Nora wrote about Aaron and Andrew's session with Bee, Andrew said that "Aaron's all bruises" and the girls he doted on and friends he ran with in high school "would all shove him underwater if it meant they wouldn't drown." (which is likely why Andrew made the 'no friends, no girlfriends, just family' deal with Aaron to protect him and prevent him from being taken advantage of by others)
Aaron was also an addict thanks to Tilda, though we don't know if this started before or after the move to South Carolina
Many things happen including: finally meeting Andrew and Andrew moving in, Tilda dying in an "accident", locked in the bathroom for a DIY rehab and going through withdrawals RIGHT AFTER HIS MOM DIED, Nicky moving back to be their guardian (yay!), Nicky being assaulted and Andrew being arrested and put on medication (boo!) so now the brother he has BEEN TRYING TO CONNECT WITH is even more difficult to communicate with
The three of them get recruited to join the Foxes, it's a full ride scholarship and also gives him more time to extend his deal with Andrew and try to forge a relationship with his brother
The first semester is rough, Andrew dealt with any threats the upperclassmen may pose and the three of them are now called the "monsters"
Aaron is also starting to regret the deal he made with Andrew because there's a girl named Katelyn in his classes and she's nice and smart and he really likes her...
He's still trying to forge a relationship with his brother, he's been trying for a few years now, and then seemingly overnight Andrew goes from hating Kevin Day to becoming BFF's/bodyguard to Kevin Day?!?
Kevin rides shotgun?
Kevin goes with them to Eden's?
Kevin and Andrew are practically inseparable?!
Okay, whatever, as far as Aaron knows Andrew likes having control over people, it's probably a power thing for him to have control over Exy-celebrity Kevin Day. And Aaron doesn't really mind adding Kevin to the "family", he's been through a lot with some mafia-exy-cult-bullshit, and as an added bonus pisses off the upperclassmen as well. It's fine, totally fine, just a bit annoying that Andrew and Kevin became so close so fast... he's not jealous, it's fine.
Then Neil fucking Josten happened
This man is a pathological liar, clearly on the run if he's disguising himself with colored contacts, speaks French and German?! And is just kind of an asshole whose only interest is stick-ball
Says things like "Drugs are stupid" like he's the pretentious spokes-kid for the D.A.R.E. program
This pretentious asshole joins their "family?!" He's even added to their family cell phone plan?!
And this pathological liar somehow gets Andrew to agree to stuff?
And Andrew has told Neil stuff he hasn't told Aaron because Neil KNEW something was wrong at Thanksgiving when Luther said someone named Drake was there?! Andrew opened up to this man who is a liar and a practical stranger but not to his own twin?
(Then Aaron killed Drake, the whole murder issue, possibly ruining his future if he's found guilty, but he'd do it again in a heartbeat)
HE NOW HAS A MURDER TRIAL COMING UP IN JULY, IT IS NOVEMBER AND HE STILL HAS PRE-MED FINALS TO DEAL WITH AND THE FUCKING EXY TEAM IS TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY'LL PLAY WHILE ANDREW IS IN REHAB?! HE HAS FINALS AND A MURDER TRIAL AND THEY'RE WORRIED ABOUT STICK-BALL?!
Oh, and Andrew gave the pathological liar permission to drive his car while Aaron is still not allowed.
Neil then interferes in his secret relationship with Katelyn
January comes around and the pathological liar has a literal blood bath in the locker room, complete with a cryptic message written in blood.
Someone very dangerous is clearly gunning for Neil, which in turn puts Andrew in danger because Andrew promised to protect him
So there's another thing for Aaron to worry about
Aaron probably wants to throttle Neil every time he opens his mouth in an interview because he's not just putting a target on his back, but on Andrew's back as well
Binghamton riot happens, more bullshit, the FBI is involved, and Aaron finds out then, alongside the rest of the team and a few FBI agents, that his brother is gay AND IS DATING NEIL?
Epiphany of his brothers sexuality aside; NEIL? Really? That man is a walking-talking-liability, still with mob ties, just being near him puts Andrew in danger! And he's annoying...
However, he can use Neil to break the deal with Andrew so he can be with Katelyn, but then they have Final match of stick-ball (ending with Andrew breaking Riko's arm), then finals, AND THEN he has the murder trial in July
In conclusion: Aaron's been through a lot, and continues to go through a lot. He's a pre-med college athlete, a recovering addict, trying to forge a relationship with his brother and also trying to have a healthy romantic relationship, but stick-ball-mafia-bullshit keeps interfering so being a bit of a jerk is warranted given the bullshit this man goes through.
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lesbiansfor-blackbeard · 1 year ago
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because wymack is the one you call when you're just lost and you don't know what else to do
we know neil calls from the airport but he also calls from the mall, when teammates have dragged him out after andrew has graduated and there are too many people and he just wants to go home
kevin calls many times his first year out of school, alone, standing in the liquor aisle of the grocery store and just needing to hear that he still matters
seth would have called after he found out his wife was pregnant and he runs out the door. he calls wymack from his car in some parking lot and gets an earful and a game plan
maybe jean calls when he can't get a hold of kevin and hes spiraling. wymack doesn't let him hang up until jeremy is sitting next to jean and wymack has found kevin
dan calls after her aunt shows up. she has a spine she built herself, and wymack reminds of her of that. he reminds her that yes, she has a soft spot and wants to help, but that he wouldn't have made her captain if he didn't have faith in her ability to stand up for the foxes. and he reminds her that she is a fox as well.
renee just calls to talk. she calls because she worries about wymack as he gets older. she calls after her mom passes away. she calls just to keep in touch.
allison rarely calls. she sees him on holidays and misses him but she finds it hard to keep in touch. one morning a scandal breaks: a gossip site has found allison with her girlfriend. it's too soon, she didn't want everyone to know. and that's the face she puts on publicly, but the morning it breaks she calls wymack just to sit, and to remember the family she was and is a part of that will always have her back
andrew calls because he misses wymack but her never admits it. like neil, wymack was the first man who let him be safe, who listened as he crashed through his meds and let him be himself one night a week and believed in him. andrew calls to say nothing, but that's okay because wymack doesn't know what to say either.
it takes aaron a while to call. he liked wymack, sure, but he always knew his brother was the first choice. it's actually wymack that calls first after aaron graduates medical school with a "congratulations" and an "I knew you could do it" aaron starts sending pictures and videos of his daughters and he even tries to get the original foxes organized for a meet up once a year
nicky calls just to say hi, much like renee. but many years after they've all graduated he calls, and thanks wymack for gluing his family together when he was coming apart at the seams to keep his cousins from drifting.
matt calls after his first kid is born. "I don't want to be like my father" and wymack is a little taken aback because he has a hard time seeing how matt and his father are even related and eventually matt says "I want to be you." and wymacks heart heals a little when he hears that because he is so unlike his own father that one of his foxes wants to be like him
this got a little off topic but I love post-uni foxes
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