#he needs to be in a goddamn psych ward

[ruenii]

YES i also like toxic shizun-disciple jiuyuan (platonically)

And YES i ALSO love it when after the damage is done to shen yuan, shen jiu will quietly suffer and panic at what he’s done. But healing isn’t easy, especially for a completely damaged person like shen jiu.

but shen yuan cares more about his self preservation more. why should he care about the scum villain? if anything, it proved his case even more that he’s a scumbag that could never be saved.

he would never enact revenge on him, shen yuan thinks, it would be worthless in the end. why would you try and force the person who hurt you to apologize when they don’t even see their wrongdoings in the first place?

their ending becomes bittersweet, imo, if it ended up this way.

shen yuan would leave to become a rogue cultivator to travel the world, and probably just avoid the plot all in all. (because as much as he admires Binghe and his badassery he does NOT want to be part of the kill count)

shen jiu will come to know of shen yuans decision to leave, and he wont stop him. he’ll continue to manage his peak without that pesky disciple of his.

he doesn’t miss the snarky arguments they have. the mind games, the competition of who could outsmart the other. no, he doesnt. and he wont acknowledge it.

he keeps the fan that shen yuan once brought him, though. he’ll say its a reminder of the insolent and ungrateful brat, and how he wont tolerate such disrespect like that once again.

but its one of the only fans he keeps on using.

[nothazellevesque]

idk, the bts seems suspect to me. like you mean to tell me that THEE bobby nash is dead and buck isn’t being carried down the street sobbing and wailing? not one member of the 118 is crying? we’ve seen how Ms Angela Bassett gets down (getting nominated for an Oscar for portraying a grieving widow and mother in a marvel movie???) and yet we don’t see none of that here? not to mention, the show just made a whole big deal about bobby reconciling with his estranged mother and brother this season and we didn’t see them there?

peepaw’s fine yall he’s just napping let him get up

[smokeysweater]

I vote for roommate into spouse John pleeeaaaassseeee I am begging 🙏

holy shit my first ever goddamn ask and it’s about Yandere obsessed john price, this is hilarious, I’ll give everyone a little more thought put into that idea than (sorry for using your ask lmao) It started when you, were kicked out by your shitty ex boyfriend, yeah typical, who would’ve thought not to trust a man who spent his all of his money on his sneaker collection rather than you? so now, basically, you were homeless, or living at a friends house, which ever was available at the time. And than, you saw an advert, for a roommate, saying he was an older male, didn’t come to the house much but would pay rent on time yada yada. anyone who wouldn’t accept that advert is insane and needs to be checked into a psych ward, was the thought that was prominent in your mind. so, things happen, and miraculously, without meeting you, john accepts the deal, and the very next day you move into the house, and low and behold you thought you met a Greek god who turned human just to mess with you. A tall man with a gruff face, body built like a man who lived in the woods all his life chopping trees, actively holding a cigar as he greets you. Handing you a sheet of what you need to pay and the general house rules, before explaining in a deep smooth tone that he won’t be home a lot due to his job, but to just keep everything nice and tidy sweetheart. and by god, are you so glad that your boyfriend broke up with you. here is the masterlist

[helltiervriska]

it is essential to my health that karkat is functionally a good influence on dave and rose but i think it needs to be in the most backass ways possible. karkat could say "YOU ARE A NUISANCE TO SOCIETY AT LARGE AND YOU ARE YOUR OWN WORST ENEMY. CHECK YOURSELF INTO A GODDAMN PSYCH WARD AND CHART THESE DELUSIONAL FUCKWIT THOUGHTS ON A WALL WITH A CRAYON NUB." and rose two weeks later tells him "Hey. Thanks for your advice. I've finally started seeing an actual therapist." "WHEN THE FUCK DID I SAY THAT?" dave on his hands and knees gripping the carpet because hes been suggesting Rose see a therapist every week for the past ten years. the original remark was about rose putting a cup of water on table without a coaster

[stabbyfoxandrew]

You already know I'm gonna ask for demon Neil this week, last week's part had me screaming omg. Happy Wednesday!

WIP Wednesday (1/22) | Demon Neil AU (Part 16)

When the joy of creation starts to die down a bit, Andrew realizes his neck is stiff from sitting like a goddamn gargoyle and his wrist is ever so slightly pissed off. He stretches it and rolls his head side to side, hoping this won't affect work tomorrow. Andrew freezes. How the fuck is he supposed to go to work with a demon in his head? Actually, that might just earn him brownie points with their clients. It would not go over well with Renee though, would it?

Is he allowed to tell people he's possessed? Andrew wonders as he makes himself a sandwich for dinner. And suddenly, Neil wakes up.

"No. Most definitely not. You will get carted off to a psych ward." The demon says, sounding half-awake.

"Oh, hello Neil. Where did you go?"

"Got sleepy while you were dicking around trying to update your Neil drawing." Neil says with a yawn. "It's hard to jump into mirrors, takes a lot of energy."

"Oh poor baby. I hope you like turkey and tomatoes." Andrew says, then some of the mustard from his sandwich gets on his finger. He licks it off, then feels Neil's grimace in his mind and wonders which he objects to.

"Neither. It was the mustard you just shoved in my mouth." Neil complains.

"Oopsie." Andrew starts to take his plate over to the coffee table and glances over at the Neil on his desk.

"Woah." Neil says suddenly. "Take me over there."

"Why?"

"I want to see."

"Too bad," Andrew says as he sits down. "You shouldn't have nodded off."

"Where'd you learn to draw like that?"

"Lots of places." Andrew answers. 

"You didn't go to art school?" Neil asks. Andrew snorts at the question. "What, you taught yourself how to do that?"

Andrew supposes he did.

When he was a kid, he would doodle in the margins of his school notebooks. On the backs of his homework pages, on desks and on his jeans and anywhere else he could reach. It was like he needed to get the pictures out of his mind and onto paper. So he did, to the aggravation of many a teacher, custodian, and foster parent.

It wasn't until Nicky took him in that he had an actual, real dedicated sketchbook. And from there, he only got better and better. His memory helped, of course. Andrew could look at something for a couple minutes and recreate it in almost perfect detail. It came in handy for work.

"What do you do for work?"

"I'm a tattoo artist." Andrew answers. "Now be quiet, it's TV time."

[according2thelore]

Foaming at the mouth over your OlderBrother!Sam!

I'm convinced that Sam will try (or threaten) John into taking full custody or his brother once he legally turns 18!

Sadly even if Sam manages to get Dean out of hunting, it's likely that Dean will still try to help his Dad in secret or even runaway to do it. (Just a HC)

hi, anon!!

ooh! that's super fun to think about!

i'm of the belief that sam would still go to stanford, even if he was the older sibling. in his mind, i'm sure he's thinking that john will be forced to step up now that sam isn't there to carry his extra weight. a trial by fire, of sorts. john will finally have to be a dad, and it'll be good for both he and dean, in the end. he loves dean more than he needs to breathe, but i can only imagine how much more the life chafes since he has the added burden of being the older brother.

BUTTTT

it would be absolutely fucking delightful if sam gets a call in the middle of the night from a hospital in georgia asking him if he knows a "dean cobb." john left his sixteen year old son behind at a motel to go hunt something else, and dean found a hunt in the neighboring town and decided he was going to try to take care of it himself. sam gets there--jess assuring him she can take care of rent next month, because sam has to use his half to buy a plane ticket to atlanta--when john does. sam decks him in the face right there in the parking lot, lays him out on concrete. and that's the "two years" they mention in the pilot that he hasn't seen sam. fuck. oh god oh fuck i have to write this.

anyway!

i still LOVE your idea!! i think if sam was going to stay behind from stanford--or fuck it, take dean with him to california--he'd have to keep it under wraps in the months leading up to it, because he knows john'll fight him tooth and nail.

when he's younger, he threatens john with it all the time. dean needs to be normal, and he needs to be safe, and he needs to join the goddamn wrestling team, dad, look at him, he loves being on a team. sam would make sure he'd get what he needed. sam would make sure that dean wouldn't have to sleep with a knife under his pillow and have salt perpetually underneath his fingernails.

sam has bobby draw up the custody papers, has bobby pull his strings to get a death certificate for their father, good enough to convince any judge that dean is legally his ward. and in the months leading up to him getting dean the fuck out of dodge, he is the perfect son. he picks a few dumb fights with dad to keep him from being suspicious, but he doesn't complain about dean's living situation once. he cleans the guns and hides his papers and makes sure he and dean's duffles are always packed.

agreed, even if sam manages to convince or trick dean into going with him to california, dean is not going to go quietly into that good night. he loves hunting, and loves that it's something secret and special and good his family does. hunting is the only thing that connects him to the mother he didn't know. it's the only way he can show that he loves her and that she mattered. he'd find small hunts around palo alto, and sam would get a call in the middle of his psych 101 lecture that dean hasn't been in any of his sophomore classes since first period. dean comes home--a family housing dorm that sam was able to plead his way into--with a busted lip and boots covered in grave dirt.

if john knows where they are, you bet your ass he's calling dean in the middle of the night, telling dean to hop on a bus and meet him in topeka for a wendigo case he really needs help on. he burned all of his other bridges with hunter contacts, and pastor jim & caleb are on the other side of the country. and dean jumps at the chance, desperate for his family to be whole again and thrilled to be useful. he leaves a note for sam, but sam is inconsolable until his fifteen year old brother walks back in the front door almost a week later, after a cross-country bus trip solo. "i'm not a civilian, sam." dean gripes, as sam chews him out for being reckless. "i can handle myself."

GAH! ageswap!au is endlessly fun and fascinating to think about for me, and i'm so glad you agree! thank you so much for the ask!!

and thank you so much for your patience!!! <3 and i'm so glad you liked these!

-lizzy (the post in specific anon is referring to) (and the other ficlet i wrote for it as well)

[scientia-rex]

Some Thoughts on Antipsychotic Medications

Ok, enough of you seemed interested in this when I asked in my antidepressant post (don't ask me for a link, search my goddamn tumblr for it, oh my GOD people were so lazy about my post on bariatric surgery). Once again, this is NOT medical advice, medical advice must be TAILORED TO THE INDIVIDUAL, that's the whole POINT of a professional field, literally every answer is "it depends" and without being your doctor, which I better not be because if you're my patient reading this I need to nuke my entire social media presence, I can't give you good advice and I wouldn't anyway because I already work 115% time and I'm very tired and you don't pay me.

There's a lot of crossover between "antipsychotic" and "mood stabilizer." I don't have as much experience with antipsychotics as I do with antidepressants, but more than your average bear. So you may see a med here and go "wait, what?" because of that overlap.

It's also worth discussing what psychosis is. There are a lot of media representations, and they are generally very stupid and bad. About 3% of the population will have a psychotic episode in their lifetime, so keep that in mind when you're talking about psychosis. There's about a 1 in 30 chance that the person you're talking to will actually have had psychosis, and a much higher chance that someone they know or love will. So don't be a dick about it. Psychosis involves losing the ability to distinguish what is reality and what is not. It seems to involve overactivity of dopaminergic transmission in specific brain pathways. It tends to be very frightening for its sufferers, although not always. Psychotic symptoms can range from a persistent delusion--I have one patient who is quite simply certain that they have worms in their lungs, despite all the tests indicating that they don't--to hallucinations of voices, to visual hallucinations, and any combination of those. Delusions and hallucinations are often negatively valenced, which means that they make the sufferer feel bad in some way, whether it's an auditory hallucination of someone telling you you're the devil, or a delusion that you're being persecuted by conspiracies for unclear reasons, or hallucinations of shadowy figures out of the corner of your eye. Delusions, when I see them in my patient, often reflect a patient's deepest fear. I had one patient who was a caregiver and they were fixated on the idea that there was a conspiracy of people watching them and setting up "tests" to make sure they weren't hurting patients or doing drugs.

It's also worth mentioning meth. Meth is one of the major causes I see of psychotic symptoms (especially since I'm in a rural area), and you need to understand that the longer and the more you do meth, the higher the likelihood of persistent psychotic symptoms. When I was a med student on an inpatient high-acuity psych ward, I had a very pleasant gentleman who'd been doing meth for years. It's tough to get a clear history, but my impression was that he probably hadn't developed psychotic symptoms until multiple years into daily use of meth--but now, despite being on the ward for over a week, there was no sign of the psychosis going away. He believed he could say things to passing cars and the sound would travel with the car, and someone miles away would hear it. He also believed there were indistinct white figures who hovered around his campsite. (He was homeless.) Meth can break your brain. Don't do meth.

The original antipsychotics are old school. We're talking the 1930s. Promethazine was developed in the process of trying to come up with antihistamines. First-generation antipsychotics are dopamine antagonists, and that means that they're blocking a large proportion of dopaminergic transmission both in the brain pathways related to psychotic symptoms, but also in the pathways related to reward, which sucks. When you think of "antipsychotics," this is most likely what you're thinking of unless you have personal experience with antipsychotics. First-generation antipsychotics include haloperidol (Haldol), chlorpromazine (Thorazine), and a handful of others, but it's a smaller class than the second generation.

Second-generation antipsychotics were a game changer. These are serotonin-dopamine antagonists. They include risperidone (Risperdal), paliperidone (Invega-Sustenna), quetiapine (Seroquel), aripiprazole (Abilify), olanzapine (Zyprexa), lurasidone (Latuda), ziprasidone (Geodon), and also clozapine, AKA the antipsychotic everyone hates prescribing because it can cause your white blood cells to suddenly go bye-bye and boom, you're at huge risk for infection. The only patient I've ever seen develop clear, unambiguous serotonin syndrome was on clozapine. I don't prescribe it as an outpatient family doctor; it's a medication of last resort, and more often seen in inpatient settings due to the need for frequent blood tests to monitor.

Because the brain is a great recycler, we also use dopamine in the control of our movements. This means that one of the more serious side effects of antipsychotics is a problem with movement. This is typically going to be something called "tardive dyskinesia," which means "slow messed up movement," but in Greek because we're fancy. TD is dreaded because we can't always reverse it. A medication called benztropine can help, but the better option, if at all possible, is to get someone off the medication that called the TD in the first place.

If you're keeping track, you're noticing that dopamine does a lot in the brain: the reward pathway, psychotic symptoms, movement. Your body also uses it for stuff outside the brain, like affecting gut motility and blood vessel dilation. It is really hard to come up with medications that only affect one thing, because the body will use the same messaging systems over and over. This is a big part of why there's some much cross-talk between medications that are ostensibly for one thing but used for many other things.

First-generation antipsychotics can be particularly bad about making people feel flat and incapable of feeling joy. The technical term for "incapable of feeling joy" is "anhedonia," Greek again, this time for "no happiness." This is incredibly punishing and people will often go off their meds in order to feel something. I don't want to hear any bullshit blaming people who do this. You probably would too, and learning not to throw rocks from a glass house is critical to being a decent fucking human being. However, it does mean that I have much more success keeping patients on second-generation antipsychotics. There is both a lower risk of anhedonia and a lower risk of TD, so in general, unless someone doesn't respond to second-generation antipsychotics, they won't be started on a first-generation. I have absolutely used first-gen antipsychotics for patients but they're more typical in the inpatient setting, where it's okay--and sometimes a good thing--if someone is sedated. One memorable example was in an emergency department where a woman was violent and had to be restrained with both physical restraints and a spit hood. We can't just go around sedating people these days--that's a whole-ass thing, because for a long time "treatment" in inpatient facilities was too often taken to be "sedation"--but boy howdy, she needed some Haldol.

I also work part time at the county jail, and while I again try hard not to use first-generation psychotics in patients who didn't come in on them, there are patients who actively request Haldol because they hate how being totally wound up and psychotic feels. I write for them to have as-needed oral doses. This means if they ask the jail nurse for it, they can get it, and it helps immensely.

The leading cause of death for patients with mental illness is heart disease. Antipsychotics tend to cause weight gain, and that is not only psychologically distressing to my patients because we live in a fatphobic world, it's probably related to worsened insulin function. Unfortunately, just putting everyone on an antipsychotic on preventative metformin (a medication that improves insulin sensitivity) also didn't work when we tried it, so we don't do that. But it's scary. I'm actually really hopeful that this new GLP-1 agonist med class that's in constant shortages because it causes weight loss (Ozempic, Wegovy, etc.) will be an option to help improve long-term health for psychotic patients. Some antipsychotics are worse than others for weight gain, but there are few genuine head to head comparisons of effectiveness, so I can't say "X works better than Y," we just have to pick one based on a) my familiarity with it and b) whether it seems like a good idea. I also feel it is better to be fat than dead, so if someone needs one of the more fat-inducing antipsychotics to live their life and/or have a decent quality of life, I'll prescribe it and I fucking dare you to talk shit, I will eat you.

My clinical experience has been that Seroquel and Abilify are the best-tolerated antipsychotics. I don't know why. Someone else might, but those are the ones I usually reach for unless someone is having really severe symptoms, in which case I think risperidone works faster. Data are, again, generally pretty weak.

But mostly I want you to remember that psychosis is not a funny punchline, "psychotic" is a shitty fucking insult to use, and someone you know and love probably has psychosis. Some people have a single break and it never happens again, some people can control it with medication, some people need to be institutionalized. It's a life-changing illness and people with severe psychosis, yes, even the weird ones who scare you, are still human beings whose lives have exactly the same inherent value as yours, and who deserve the exact same inalienable human rights as you do. Any other approach is garbage. Human rights are not negotiable.

[aquillis-main]

I'm so often dejected that I feel like I'm never allowed to talk about the best character traits of characters I like, without someone shitting on them to try and make me not want to talk about them. Take for example, Tails and Amy. I've often explained in the past what traits I enjoyed for these characters, and why I feel some people just end up ignoring them for the weaselish opinions that force them to be something they're not.

With Amy, it doesn't matter how often I talk about her or not, the moment I make one mention of her character being 'what I like' about her, a dozen anons out of the woodwork come in to talk gruesomely about how much they want to murder a fictional character, all because they don't like her at all. Not only do I find that childish, I also feel it's a sign that some people might be into gore in real life, which I don't condone and I'd frankly would rather see them sent to the psych ward for that. But because it's a fictional character they harp on that they want to do that with, it wouldn't stick. It just... It infuriates me. I love Amy as a character, and I want to talk about what makes her my favourite. But I can't, because there's anons out there who'd try to get me to be grossed out by her by stating these things.

As for Tails, I feel many people harp over the idea of Tails being 'young', even though in the games, Tails does not have any characteristics of his age beyond being a bit meek, and having to psyche himself up. Most of his appearances showcase him living on his own, having his own workshop and (generally) working on his own without much assistance. He's more or less got himself sorted, and out of everything Sonic gives Tails, it's a confidence boost. I'm all for Sonic and Tails having a sort of brother-bond, as the two often work together, but beyond that there's not really much to talk about in terms of their relationship, and people are missing more of the forest to hyperfocus on one tree in it when it comes to Tails.

Every time I talk about how much I prefer Tails being independent, it always comes back to how I want him an orphan for whatever reason, even though the games showcase he's fine on his own and doesn't need anything beyond confidence.

It's so goddamn hard to talk about things I like without bad faith a tors coming in to shut my mouth all the damn time.

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

ok sorry this is going to be 1 million screenshots, u r NOT allowed on the wiki. but.!!!!!!!!

gift for u!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hehehehehehe :333

OH FUCK YESSSS HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO COOL??? classification not being indication of raw strength and instead taking into account amount of panic and collateral damage is INSANE to me ive never even CONSIDERED that. what the fuck!!!!!!!!

the jump in power between even 1 and 2 is kind of crazy and SUPER interesting to me. 1s can be taken care of by any random guy on the street but 2????? you need an "exceptional, well-equipped, trained individual" i love that so much. what the fuck

also . thinking about new haven wards as always. still thinking abt the fact that you said pd would be AT LEAST power level 7 . which is "parahumans should engage in pairs or trios AT MINIMUM" AND "ALL ACTING PARTIES SHOULD SHIFT TO DEFENSIVE OR DELAT UNTIL INTEL CAN BE ACQUIRED" holy shit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! these are teenagers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! having normal emotion about this and also worm as a whole !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8 is where they start requiring evacuation of citizens. fuck. greyscale wibby is NINE OR TEN. im sure this does wonders to his psyche on the "not having people be scared of me" front. aha. what do u think he would do if he saw civilians being evacuated because of him. god.

hey also?????????? real quick. real FUCKING quick. if i remember correctly. leviathan was only rated like. a 9. LEVIATHAN. ONE OF THE ENDBRINGERS. how the FUCK is that not "planet level threat" hello???????????????? is it because the endbringers are such localized events that theyre only contained to like. a single city. or because they need rest periods between attacks. or the fact that their movements are predictable. hello>>>>?????? this is extremely sobering information to have. what the fuck is more powerful than goddamn leviathan, the worst thing to happen in worm so far. fear.jgp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[briarpatch-kids]

What i don't think the pain doctor at the ketamine consult understood about my pain is that I'm doing the equivalent of the lighter game or the pain box and not just like... not having that much pain. I need a goddamn BREAK from it as much as I need lasting pain relief. I'd be happy for one day a month of pain at a 2 or 3 and he's like "well we usually only do this for people on opiates so we can get them on a lower dose" and it's like... my man, I'm not on opiates because IV MORPHINE is the only thing that touches it, and I can't start a lifelong relationship with that at 30 even if I WANTED to.

On this note, please don't tell me you had no choice but to take opiates. It bothers me a lot because that's never been an option for me, and it feels a lot like "Well some of us HAVE to work." The choice I got wasn't "opiates or pain" it was "pain at home or pain in the psych ward"

[c0worker-bryce]

Stop pretending you don't know jasper for a minute. Please.

You wouldn't hurt @doppelcoworker , right? He's your little brother and you've gone through alot with him and Bry. You two need to reconnect

<[he sat down on the ground with his tail between his legs. He looked on the verge of tears]

I should've never told him in the first place..! He threatened to send me to a goddamn psych ward and I'm sure he doesn't love me at all ...

[livingfandomly]

K. So I’ve been binging SPN again, which is a bit of a surprise because I didn’t like how S6 started out. S7 is muuuuuch better and second half of S6 was great too. To summarise……

1. Sam without a soul was fucking horrendous. I’ve seen parts of the fandom liking Sam like that I dun geddit. At all.

2. Cause of the sadism running through my veins, I loved the whole “forcing Sam to get his soul back” part. And when he did get his soul back, godDAMN! The bitch forgot everything and Dean was literally like “DONT TELL MY BABY BRO ANYTHING AT ALL LET HIM STAY INNOCENT” and for that I wanna hug his for forever.

3. Soulless Sam tried to literally k*ll Bobby?????????????? I wanted to k*ll Sam in that moment tbh.

4. BOBBY DIED?????!????!?!?? Y’ALL???!?!?????? (Though I’m 10000000% sure that stubborn shit head didn’t go with the reaper and is currently haunting my bois)

5. Sam. Lucifer. The psych ward. Me. Crying. Inconsolably.

6. I know I shouldn’t. I REALLY REALLY know it. But I love Lucifer. That man (ahem fallen angel) is a fucking comedian. When Sam told him to shut up and he went “he told me to shut up” like a fucking kid I was gasping for air though laughter.

7. Cass. Baby. I know the writers needed plot points but seeing Cass go cuckoo was not the way to do it. At all. It so anti Cass. And the fact that he created the problem for Sam….. nah….

8. The whole episode where Jo was forced to k*ll Dean sucked because I truly believe they should’ve been endgame…

Anyway. On to continuing S7 and hoping for the best but expecting the worst 🤡🫡

Also also. Special mention TO THIS FUCKING SCENE (and the only good thing soulless Sam gave us) [high key comedy how Jared didn’t even descend that much when he let go of the bar… man’s so tall]

[hopusthebrainlessfloof]

Spewart: "Have you ever let the little you take over...?"

Hariet: "In most places we've lived, the medical facilities have all been quite nice. At least, from what I've seen. Most of us go in and out of the hospital a lot for varying medical reasons. However, I can't speak for the MA part since I've never been in one, so yeah..."

Rango: "They're really nice from what Spewart has said! He once described one of 'em to us... He was in a room with an adjustable bed, a TV on the wall, ton of books, drawing stuff, really nice meals, beautiful window view, personal bathroom, etcetera. The only things he couldn't have were phone, keys, wallet, and anything potentially harmful. Strings of any kind (Like in hoodies or shoelaces) sharp things, metal, pockets, blah blah blah... It sounds great! He was gone for a month and a half one time!"

Topper: *Punches Rango really hard in the arm* "I already told you to quit talking about that!! Spewart doesn't like that info being known! And the psyche ward isn't a goddamn luxury vacation! He needs it for serious reasons! Stop talking about it like that!"

Rango: "OKAY, JEEZ!!!"

Hariet: That sort of hospital seems beneficial for Rango and Spewart... I think that Rango is more likely to give it a shot than Spewart is...

-----------

Topper: ... Once...

And... Horrible... Things... Happened...

[confessions-official]

I absolutely hate myself for wanting what my friend has. She’s disabled. She can’t live on her own and her boyfriend stays with her and treats her so well so she doesn’t have to live with her family who doesn’t give a fuck about her

I may not be paraplegic but I’m also disabled. For me it’s a bunch of “smaller” invisible disabilities. I have chronic pain that’s not too bad sometimes but still affects how much I can lift and how fast I can move and sometimes I have flareups so bad I have no energy and am pretty much housebound. I also have very shitty lungs. I come down with a pneumonia like illness that knocks me on my ass at least twice a year and if I’m lucky it’ll only last a coupke weeks but sometimes it REALLY clings in and is so resistant to antibiotics I’m sick for months. There’s also the autism.

I can pretty much take care of myself but I’d give anything to have someone who’s there like she does. Do I need them? No unless I need to move something heavy during a pain flare up or need to drive long distances which is hard because of the pain but I force myself to do it anyway even though my body is SCREAMING at me to stop because if I don’t I’ll pay for it later but I’ve got to do it all myself because unlike her, I don’t have anyone in my life who gives that much of a damn about me. I have my parents, but they treat me like a fucking toddler even though I’m in college and have a job. If I go back to live with them it’s back to being monitored around the clock, not being allowed to eat without their permission and being treated like a psych ward patient - they’re all or nothing people.

If I need their help with anything at all, that’s how they fucking treat me and I’ll never be able to build a bond wi to anyone outside of them. Unless I can be normal to where you can’t even tell my body is slowly destroying itself, I can’t have a relationship. I can’t expect to ever find anyone as understanding as the kind of person she found, especially because on the outside you can’t tell anything’s wrong with me and I have to deal with people screaming at me all day for being “lazy” , simply not understanding how burned the fuck out I am not only from trying to fight my own stupid body but being traumatized and mentally exhausted from having to be a fucking one man army against an entire world that seems hellbent on killing me and keeps throwing one thing after another at me that I’m forced to tackle one after another but I’m slowing down and soon I won’t be able to keep up with all of this shit.

I know that makes me toxic. I should be focused on money and success instead of wanting love and support. I’m a man. I’m supposed to be a fucking island. But this world has no idea I’m running on fumes at this point. Nobody knows, nobody cares, and I don’t have a single person on my side or even an emergency contact.

I know I know I know! Stop being a man child. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps! Don’t love anyone until you can be an island and don’t need anyone’s help with anything ever. That’s what they tell me. Little do they know that I’ve lost 40 pounds in the last 3 months from stress and being spread so goddamn thin. I have no one who can help. I’m in this completely alone and I don’t know how much longer I can keep going on like this.

I have a boyfriend. But if he knew what I dealt with (he doesn’t think I’m actually sick), if I asked him for help, he’d leave like everyone else. As a man it is NEVER okay for me to need help

 

[violettarays]

I need to talk about the book The Silent Patient right now because I stayed up way too late reading the entire story and now i’m reveling in the ending (SPOILERS)

okay so the story starts with facts about the night that alicia murdered her husband- he was shot 5 times in the face point-blank while tied up with wire in a chair. the book is then split into a few sections, and each section begins with a diary entry from alicia depicting her mental state at certain dates. the chapters that come after those entries are from the perspective of a psychotherapist named theo, who in his first chapter states everyone who goes into mental health as a profession does so because they themselves are fucked up. we then get chapters about theo’s transfer to the Grove aka the place where alicia is housed post-trial (she was placed in a psych ward after being charged w the murder of her husband). the book is titled The Silent Patient because miss alicia hasn’t said a goddamn word since she was found with the gun at her feet and it’s been six years since then. theo thinks he can get her to talk (save her? fix her?) and does many unprofessional things in order to make her feel relaxed and trust him. between chapters of visiting her at the psych ward, we get snippets of his home life with his wife, kathy. slowly but surely throughout the chapters, we learn that she is having an affair. go figure, right? at first I was like okay this is boring I don’t care just tell me about alicia and why she did it, but I knew there was a reason for these chapters so I stuck with it, and boy fucking howdy am I glad I did. those somewhat inane, slightly boring passages became progressively more insane and unhinged as the story progresses, showing us that theo isn’t as stable as we thought he was at the beginning, and really showing us his true colors (everyone who goes into mental health is fucked up, right?) eventually alicia gives theo her diary, containing the passages we had been reading at the beginning of each section. he sees this as a major breakthrough and knows he can get alicia to talk if he fits in a few more pieces of her puzzle. eventually he manages to get her to reveal her story via TALKING (we did it woooo!!) but something isn’t right- alicia got the details of her murder wrong. she confessed, but she didn’t, really. up until this point, we had been getting hints of a man following alicia and making her paranoid. her husband tells her she’s just imagining things, but she knows what she saw. we also get chapters of theo following his wife kathy to see the man she’s cheating on him with. he follows this man back to his house and watches as the man kisses his wife. this is when the reader begins to click the puzzle pieces together. THE MAN WHO WAS WATCHING ALICIA SIX YEARS AGO WAS THEO!!! HE WAS THERE THE NIGHT OF THE MURDER! HE TIED UP THE HUSBAND AND ALICIA AND TOLD THE HUSBAND TO CHOOSE WHO DIED: HIMSELF OR ALICIA. HE CHOSE ALICIA. THEO DIDNT KILL HER, JUST UNTIED HER, BUT WHEN HE LEFT, ALICIA REALIZED HER HUSBAND DIDNT LOVE HER LIKE SHE THOUGHT HE DID AND SHE SHOT HIM!!!!!!! THEO WENT TO THE GROVE TO FIGURE OUT WHY SHE KILLED HER HUSBAND THAT NIGHT!!!!! AND WHEN SHE MESSED UP THE CONFESSION ON PURPOSE, THEO REALIZED SHE KNEW WHO HE WAS AND HE THEN MURDERED HER HOLY FUCKING SHIT THIS BOOK IS SOOOOOOOOO GOOD AAAAAA

[lovestuckyhatemarvel]

My bastard boy cat was a bastard child to my old lady cat and just kneaded a blanket while yowling as if he’s the one who was put upon. Anyway, here’s Stranger Things Season 4 Episode 6. Let’s see what’s dumber: the show or my cat.

1.) Patrick’s corpse looks too goofy for me to feel bad for Jason right now.

2.) “Eddie is a vessel for Satan.” Lmao this was a dude who like last episode swore he didn’t believe in the Supernatural. Not to tell him his business but I would not be jumping to Satan even when I was a kid who believed in that shit.

3.) Also, maybe the cops should be worried about a teenager who already hunted down Eddie once when he’s being like ‘EDDIE IS A VESSEL FOR THE DEVIL’. Like I’m gonna be real with you, small town cops will put you in psych ward against your will for less.

4.) I need everyone to understand that even though America’s military fucking LOVES torture, torture does not work. It does not work. It will get you a false confession long before it will get you a real one. Part of the problem though is that media fucking looooooooves torture. Like this isn’t bullshit ‘media makes you violent’ nonsense. Congress literally cited the show 24 during talks about whether torture works. Because it always worked in the fictional bullshit garbage TV show 24.

5.) The shot of El walking down a hall with a team behind her while Brenner talks about how she had a LITERAL STROKE is hilarious.

6.) To be clear, you do not repair broken or dead connections in your brain. Once those are dead, they’re dead forever. They do not come back. You create NEW routes.

7.) Can we talk about how Kali has not been mentioned once? Did the Duffers forget she exists? Like Brenner sucks but he’s not an idiot, so he should be aware that someone is killing people from the fucking place.

8.) Sneaky Eddie steals a walkie with his tongue out.

9.) I love that Robin talked about Eddie’s doe eyes.

10.) The cops releasing Eddie’s name and photo as a ‘person of interest’ in this town based on Jason’s stupid testimony that sounds insane is B-B-B-Bonkers.

11.) Poor Eddie is like, very close to a breakdown and I do not blame him.

12.) Why can’t they just tell Argyle that Suzie’s family is Mormon.

13.) Okay no one ever mentions people are being bonkers in Suzie’s house. Also there are so many kids.

14.) Argyle has a mega crush on Eden that people also never mention.

15.) I’m glad Joyce and Murray survived their plane crash but how did they do that with zero injuries.

16.) Oh, the traitor is still alive too.

17.) I will say that leaving someone in the middle of nowhere tied to a tree is actually killing him. Lmao Like not to get into ridiculous semantics, but just because it wasn’t directly 100% by your hands doesn’t not make it murder.

18.) Yuri decides to help them though because the show can’t actually have either of them do anything terrible.

19.) Oh Antonov is like, catholic or some shit.

20.) What is with this feast?

21.) Hopper was doing SOMETHING on the floor during this rando telling people about upside down monsters.

22.) Hopper was the first dude to figure out the last meal shit????

23.) has anyone edited this plinking scene with El to put a horse into it?

24.) Brenner saying One didn’t exist is hilarious. Like, no kids, we just started at 2 for funsies. Like maybe just say he died or something.

25.) Oh now they finally mention Kali, but still no mention or attempt from anyone actually in charge. Just a memory of a mention.

26.) “We should have just told her the truth”. Sirs, I don’t think you actually know the truth.

27.) When exactly did Steve practically invent Skull Rock as a make out spot?

28.) Lucas is so goddamn sweet.

29.) Why would Robin of all people hint that Nancy and Steve should get back together???????

30.) Robin and Nancy are cute.

31.) Dustin’s dads calling him a butthead is great.

32.) this town hall is bullshit.

33.) Oh god, Jason and his stupid crew. I hate his stupid face. Also suddenly he’s not giving details. Probably because no one would actually believe him. Why doesn’t he just say ‘vessel for Satan’?

34.) Oh suddenly some of the people in the crowd realize their kids are accused cult members.

35.) Jason I wanna beat you silly.

36.) WHY THE FUCK HAS NO ONE CUT HIS MIC? WHY HAS NO ONE ARRESTED HIM FOR ATTEMPTING TO INCITE A GODDAMN RIOT?

37.) Jesus Christ, Powell, you are 5 minutes late and a dollar short.

38.) why are they lying to Susie oh my god.

39.) I love Eden.

40.) Karen, don’t call the cops, oh my god.

41.) “The thing I do now, apparently. I ran.” This implies that this is a new development for Eddie.

42.) Dustin’s gate reveal.

43.) Steve pointing out they can’t put Eddie in danger via a walk in the words.

44.) I’m gonna be real with you, technically Eddie’s statement is nonsense since the Shire isn’t burning into after everyone gets back from Mordor.

45.) IDK who needs to hear this but putting extra black people in the show just for most of them to be background or killed is like, not actually representation.

46.) It’s actually kind of nonsense that Henry is so obsessed with El in the past.

47.) Yuri has a point. He doesn’t need to need to do anything to them at this point. Either they succeed or they die.

48.) Ohhhhhhh Murray is now Yuri and Yuri is now Murray. That’s smart. Maybe. If they’d actually established that no one knows what Yuri looks like, which they didn’t do that first.

49.) Antonov is kind of right about hope. Also, people can absolutely defeat a demogorgon. Hopper should know that. So man I hope this is a distraction or something, because damn, otherwise what are you doing?

50.) Oh Hopper and Antonov got taken out.

51.) I also don’t know how they got a demogorgon here.

52.) Oh, Hopper did have a plan. Good job, bud.

53.) Okay I know what the internet is and I know how I got access to it in the 90s, but I just realized I don’t know how Suzie’s household has it in the 80s.

54.) Oh, Eden and Argyle were getting high.

55.) Maybe one of you two cops could have actually done something about Jason before he became a riot inducer. Maybe when he accused Eddie of being an agent of Satan.

56.) Robin would put Nancy in charge.

57.) “Miss you already.” Robin, you’re the queen of my heart.

58.) What’s with the bully group of kids?

59.) For real why do these kids fucking hate El?

60.) El literally does not know what happened?

61.) Nancy watching Steve and Robin watching Nancy and Eddie watching Steve. Also, Max approves of Steve’s chest hair, almost guaranteed.

62.) Merman Steve Harrington. He can hold his breath for at least a minute.

63.) Max distracting the cops.

64.) damn he really does get just yanked across the ground.

65.) Nancy jumps in. Dustin gets caught by the cops. Robin follows. Eddie calls it stupid and then follows seconds after.

66.) Steve’s first time in the upside down. And he gets to fight mutant bats with an oar and immediately get his ass kicked as he’s strangled. There was like, definitely a version of this where he died.