#he put a lot of time and effort in getting to know and be with Daon dang it

[fairestwriting]

this is corny so you don’t have to answer the req if you don’t want to, how do u think dorm leaders would react if the only girl in night raven college ended up in their dorm?

𐙚 Riddle Rosehearts

Well, he's definitely not spoken to a lot of girls around his age range... if he's even spoken to any of them at all. That's the main obstacle, in Riddle's case. He just feels like he doesn't know how he should talk to you.

He does have enough common sense to know he shouldn't treat you differently because of your gender. Obviously. So he's not going easier on you with the rules or anything like that— he'll still scold as harshly as he'd scold any rule breaking guy...

...That's what he tells himself, at least. In practice, it's still true, but he can't help but second guess if what he's doing is really okay, at least while he's still getting used to you.

Luckily, Heartslabyul students are, in general, pretty sociable people, so you actually manage to get along with your dormmates rather quickly. It's just Riddle that trips on his words every now and then.

𐙚 Leona Kingscholar

Honestly, he's not thrilled about it. But it has nothing to do with you personally, and everything to do with how he just knows some of the guys in the dorm might get a little too excited about it, and he'll have to actually put effort into making sure they behave.

It's not like they're creepy or disrespectful or anything. Even your most obnoxious dormmates will, at most, just be really awkward around you — It's just the right thing, in Leona's mind, to avoid having you end up in these weird situations.

With the large amount of beastmen in the dorm, though, it's more likely that they'd get too nervous to even do that. They don't play around when it comes to respecting women. If anyone even dared to think about going against that, they'd be very, very quickly outcast.

But besides that, you're just another member of the dorm, to him. He'll at most complain about the dorm getting attention just because there's a girl in it and nothing more. You're still getting the "Herbivore" nickname if he finds it applicable.

𐙚 Azul Ashengrotto

You don't see any of it, but he's ripping out his hair over the whole thing. And it honestly doesn't even have anything to do with you — It's just that it's all so sudden? Your acceptance into NRC, and into Octavinelle, will definitely attract some attention, and he wasn't given any time to prepare for it...

He definitely does his best to make it look like he wasn't taken completely off guard, though. You're welcomed into Octavinelle with a big smile from him, telling you how honored he is to have you in the dorm— And it's not a lie, really, he is glad to have you, he's just stressed out.

Azul is fairly decent at helping you get settled into the dorm, despite that. He'll ask for your thoughts on the room sharing situation on your very first day, and make sure you come to an agreement on the matter as soon as possible.

𐙚 Kalim Al-Asim

Honestly really happy to have you. NRC turning co-ed is a big deal, after all! It means a lot that his dorm gets to be the one to house the first girl to attend the school.

Kalim was planning to have a big welcoming party at the start of the school year anyway, but since it seems it'll be an extra special one, he'll change his plans accordingly. He might end up going a bit overboard, but it's better to do too much than too little, right?

After the initial fanfare, though, he'll also default to treating you like any other Scarabia student. Which doesn't mean he's any less friendly or warm, it's just that he shows the same amount of interest towards any new student.

He worries a little about you feeling out of a place, though. He's heard from the girls he knows that it can be lonely to be in a space that's all guys, and he doesn't want you to feel othered like that! Maybe he'll talk to Crowley about letting more girls transfer, or something. Or at least introduce you to his other friends, if you want.

𐙚 Vil Schoenheit

Honestly, he's a little stressed out. Mostly for the same reason that would make Kalim so happy and proud — NRC turning co-ed is a big deal, his dorm is the first one to house a female student, expectations are higher than usual.

He lectures the other students on what not to do on the first day, and personally talks to you to ask if there's anything you'd like to be done to the dorm to make you more comfortable. He's mostly thinking about things like whether you'd prefer to not have roommates and such, but he's pretty open to any request as long as it's reasonable.

Honestly, Pomefiore might objectively be the best dorm to end up in, in this case. The push for students to be open minded and respectful is real. Anyone who's too biased and unwilling to change just gets filtered out.

𐙚 Idia Shroud

People start whispering about it the second the news come out —Ignihyde is like a lair for awkward people, their leader himself barely attends class in person. Having the first female student of NRC join in surely will make everyone there lose their minds, right?

And, yeah, people do get anxious, sure. But Ignihyde's image as this safe haven for the socially awkward also means, to their members, that they can be at ease around each other. And you are one of them now, so...

You don't really talk to Idia directly, but that's just because nobody does. He sends Ortho to ask you if you'd like a room to yourself, or anything else, really— He avoids mentioning anything specific because he doesn't want to sound weird, but he'll make sure you have whatever you need.

Your dormmates warm up to you pretty fast too. They're shy, and a good amount of them probably never really talks to any girls, but you're still one of them, above everything else. Gender doesn't matter as much after the initial feeling of surprise is gone.

𐙚 Malleus Draconia

Malleus isn't that stressed out about it, honestly. He knows it's a big deal for the school as a whole, but to him, it's just something that should have been done a long time ago. It's not like restricting student genders was helping anybody learn magic.

He's a bit puzzled when Lilia asks him about possibly taking measures to make you feel more comfortable. He has no issue with taking them, of course, he just doesn't think about them right away? It won't occur to him that you might prefer having a room to yourself, for example.

Because of Diasomnia's reputation, you're sort of shielded from most unwanted attention from the rest of the school, and your dormmates themselves are pretty much all polite people who keep to themselves. It's very peaceful in there, really.

Overall it's just not a big deal to Malleus himself. He'll be curious about how you feel being the only girl in the school, sometimes, but he won't ask unless you haven't shown interest in speaking to him first.

if you like my work you can support me by commissioning me or tipping me on ko-fi ── ᵎᵎ ✦

[hcnnibal]

I'm curious how much time the angels put into appearances? do they have clothes they gravitate to? do either of them like to shop

long answer, sorry, ive thunk many a thought about this

i feel like they are both very aware that they are conventionally attractive and act accordingly. a1 puts in a lot of time and effort in maintaining/enhancing his looks. a2 knows he’s hot enough to put very little time/effort into his appearance

a1 definitely views attractiveness as social currency, so he puts quite a bit of effort into his appearance, even though he doesn’t really want to. especially when he was younger and hanging out with thomas a lot, he really tried to put on muscle and achieve that sort of Abercrombie physique, find the right sort of haircut for his face, wear the right kind of clothes, buy the right cologne, etc etc

and on the flip side, i think a2 kinda wants to put in effort the same way a1 does, but like. it always makes him feel… weird. why he feels uncomfortable putting on muscle, getting fitted for menswear, wearing expensive men’s cologne, we’ll just… never know

and i think a1 gravitates towards these sort of expensive but understated outfits to, i guess, downplay the amount of effort he actually puts into his appearance. like he works very hard to look like he just rolled out bed and grabbed whatever out of his closet

and a2 just defaults to a t-shirt and jeans if a1 doesn’t dress him. he prefers practical/comfortable clothes, and being invisible/forgettable (haha)

and yeah i think they both kinda shop a lot, a1 because he’s compulsively keeping up with the latest trends, and a2 because he wants his boyfriend to have nice stuff

[garez19]

hellooo!!1 tysm <33 i also hope i never go bald… you’re highly appreciated. and ofc you can!! ;))

the remedy for lovesickness

yandere actor! x gn! makeup artist! reader. yandere themes, power imbalance, manipulation. 2.6k wc

°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

he was born in a small town.

he spent the majority of his life hating it, a total waste of a land full of fussy and old people. it didn’t have enough bars to socialize, nor did it have a swimming pool for him and his friends to enjoy. it didn’t have enough area for him to let his emotions out. there weren't enough people for him to express himself. 

no, there weren’t enough experiences this small town could give him.

maybe that was the reason he became so good at his job. he didn’t have a place to express himself, yet the classroom had plenty of empty seats to think about how one must feel in certain situations. he didn’t have many reasons to get angry, but he could always watch the old man in the neighborhood going crazy over the kids making too much noise. he could read books about agony and love.

at first, he did it for laughs. the jester way of conveying the message. then it became a hobby. then— an overgrowing passion.

and, safe to say it paid off well. a pretty face with talent -with the devotion to get it right-, and of course, a little bit of luck finally helped him get out of that shithole. a pretty face and the obsession with imitation got him places, unlike what that one girl from highschool had said. 

it got him fame, thousands of people who cheered him on, lovely apartments, and numerous opportunities to try and catch a glimpse of new lives, of new roles.

still, he didn’t like the metropolis any better. a total waste of a land that’s too industrialized for his country-boy tastes, although he might have not liked to admit. it didn’t give people enough time to process their feelings, and the crowd wasn’t something he thought he could get used to. 

but he still loved his job, and he most certainly had thousands of inspirations.

except for that one role. the story of a prince and his undying adoration for his lover. the one his manager didn’t stop blabbering about. he had considered it for an hour or two. “no,” he then decided. it was a role he had never got the chance to explore. he wouldn’t know how a lovestruck guy would act and talk like. he didn’t have enough time to practice.

but his manager didn’t seem to take no as an answer.  

“you have time to practice,” she said, “it’s a good opportunity.”

guys with possessive tendencies truly sold a lot, apparently. 

the manager was too sure that it was the perfect role for him at the moment. it took a long time and effort on her end to convince him, but it was a good opportunity.

“a good opportunity…” he finally agreed. 

he had to be ready by the tenth episode. and he had nothing except books about love.

“so kais loses his mind, right? he’s now a madman telling everyone he met about leyla’s breathtaking beauty and praising her. people start making fun of him, ‘majnun’, they say, ‘madman’,”  

now, you weren’t really sure if that was in your contract. 

still, you nodded, signalling him to go on as you kept applying his makeup. either your boss was very fond of love books, or he was bored to the point where he would talk about anything. 

you loved being a makeup artist. you loved working with idols and celebrities. gossiping to your friends about them was fun. seeing them without filters or scripts was fun. most importantly, makeup was fun.

“you know the remedy for lovesickness?” he asked suddenly.

“no. could you please close your eyes? thank you. I’m going to put on some powder now.”

“if love causes sleeplessness and delirium, it’s understandable to worry that the person might lose their mind. in such cases it’s a good option to keep them fed with easy to digest foods… like soup. um, and a hot bath should help them relax.” 

“interesting...”

“yeah, and the scent of violet oil can also help too. that’s the remedy of the body.”

“could you lift your head just a little bit— perfect.”

“as for the soul, that’s kind of like a mental illness. the person should be talked to gently. at least until they calm down a bit. they can also keep themselves busy with other things. to distract themselves, you know.”

this guy didn’t know how -and when- to stop. 

it was hilarious. it was strange. but there was something truly captivating about him. so you didn’t stop him. you didn’t pretend you weren’t interested. you didn’t intervene with his drawn-out threads that felt like a needlessly long script from a soap opera. 

“duly noted.”

by the time they shot the fourth episode, he had shared a handful of stories. all revolved around one plot: love sickness with tragic endings. you didn’t think too much of the obsession with it, and honestly, you probably wouldn’t really understand even if he told you that was the only way he could learn. 

“on the wedding night kerem tries to undo the buttons of asli’s robe. but he keeps failing. and then he takes a deep breath, right? he sighs so deeply… that he quite literally bursts into flames.”

you couldn’t help but snort at the very sudden ending, “what?”

“yeah, because the buttons are enchanted. and then asli tries to save him but ends up catching fire too.”

you hummed. 

“I’m gonna need you to stay quiet or a second now,” you said. he nodded before asking, “what do you think?”

“fire as a metaphor for love is… intense.” you changed the brush. “within that, the stories you’ve shared focus on forbidden love more often than not.” 

he closed his eyes. 

“the metaphor starts making much more sense in such cases.”

you tried your best to stay professional, to not speak unless you’d been told otherwise, and to make sure you did your job properly. but he was friendly. not just with you. he was close with the whole crew, and it wasn’t something you often came across.he was easy to talk to, genuinely warm, and honestly fun to listen to.

“and, you’re ready,” you said. 

“it’s all about the unrequited -or forbidden- desire,” he mumbled.

“kais was literally a prince. and layla loved him back.” you finally replied to his ramblings.

you definitely didn’t sign up for this. it wasn’t that deep. love-turned-obsession stories often came with such characteristics, but that didn’t mean that was the case all the time.

“he was still scared he couldn’t have her.”

“I don’t know. maybe some people are just not meant to be.”

“wouldn’t that make their love sweeter?” he laughed softly.

debating on love every other day with your regularly transformed opinions while doing your job was not something you often told your friends about. but you weren’t complaining, not really.

6th episode’s shoot, and you were busy with doing someone else’s makeup. but, not a big deal, not at all. it happened in sets all the time after all. it was chaotic, unbearable. the part he hated the most. but it was fine. he had stories to tell. people who listen. or so he thought.

the new makeup artist seemed easy going too. yet, the story refused to be known. the tale wouldn’t let him reveal it. he couldn’t bring himself to say a word. he adapted quickly to most things very quickly, but he could hardly let them go. it was his little ritual: underlining passages from the books and getting excited to tell you more about it the next day.

it hadn’t even been that long. but he didn’t dare tell the newest story to anyone but you. as I said, he picked up silly habits easily. sometimes worryingly so. he even waited for you to finish your job so he could talk to you— but no. someone always had to ruin the day.

7th episode, and he didn’t seem as excited about telling a love tale. his mind was obviously on something else. the quietness was unfamiliar and almost unbelievable, but for some reason, it wasn’t bothering you. 

still, you truly wanted to ask what was going on in his head, even when you did your best to stay professional.

“do you want to work with me?” he finally spoke up. you let out a sudden “huh” as you grabbed the far palette.

“would you like to be my personal stylist?” he asked again.

“oh, I do have a contract with the producer of the show at the moment.”  

“I’m not asking you to quit.”

a good opportunity, one that you shouldn’t even hesitate before saying yes. “it’d be more appropriate to talk about it later,” you said, a perfect way to dodge the question . he handed you a card with a phone number.

“reach out to my manager whenever you’re available.”

he sounded like a businessman, a person who hated love books and romance more than anything, like he was rude towards service people on purpose. but well, mostly likely because he was tired, at least you thought so. 

you loved your job, but it sure had drawbacks. working with people adored by everyone didn’t suddenly make you as appreciated, for instance. you were still easily replaceable. every single person in this industry was.

and a contract meant insurance, a promise, and a guarantee of employment. working for a successful actor meant promising career prospects in the long term. it meant network and experience. and there was hardly anything that could be considered as a con. an opportunity too good to pass. an opportunity too good to be true.

was it professional? not that you cared.

“it’s a good opportunity,” he agreed, “better not waste it.”

so you didn’t. 

8th episode, and he finally turned back to normal again. full of joy and positivity, wishing everyone a very good day as he passed by. full of energy and with little stories of love and adoration while you made small comments here and there.

love stories then evolved into his ramblings about his town, his annoying physics teacher and what that one girl had to say about his acting skills in highschool -he seemed very offended by it, by the way-, and questions of what your life looked like. question that almost felt like an interrogation.

questions about your routine and habits, your love life, whether you liked that one book, and a bunch of very privacy related stuff you’d rather not answer.

he was made for this job, you decided when you watched episode 10.

but that is also when you realized his obsession was a two edged sword. his devotion to playing the character accurately, to see him through the scripts, to not just act like him but becoming him— it meant danger. the character and his successor would merge into one; eventually, they would become impossible to distinguish. was it always the case? most certainly. playing the role of an angry old man, he used to storm into the street, snatching the kids’ ball while also shouting they were making too much noise. or at least, that’s what he suddenly remembered.

it didn’t always have to be the case.but here he was, calling his manager, the crew and the producer by your name. “my bad,” he’d say quickly, correcting himself, and then his eyes would wander around the room exactly three times. the makeup would take much longer than usual. the seventh time he pinpointed the eye makeup– implying you should redo the left eye, you would sigh with frustration.

it didn’t always have to be the case. but here he was, yet another prince of the metropolis, featured in magazines with his picture everywhere. interviews, questions about how he prepared for the role– but no, please give him a second as his stylist fixed his goddamn hair for the fifth time in ten minutes.

you didn’t sign up for this.

you weren’t his goddamn manager. you didn’t know you had to follow him everywhere he went, even to places he certainly didn’t need any makeup or hair styling. but emergencies could happen, he would say. 

14th episode, and it was getting harder to keep the script straight in his mind. tangled stories with the image of you and dialogues he had made up. his face would grow warm, the slow thrum of his pulse made his knees weaker. the accidental mentions of your name turned into small comments on how well you did your job. soon, they became long, winding monologues about you, the kind someone with a fevermight mutter in the middle of the night.

that was how kais felt when they called him majnun.

the magazine pages kept mentioning the scandalous news, although no one could confirm any of it for sure. the manager ran her hand through her hair, swearing under her breath as she tapped furiously on her phone. she spent her days arguing with journalists, demanding they take the stories down.

you tried your best to act oblivious. ignorance was bliss, after all. but it was hard when he acted like you two were joined at the hip. when he kept claiming how much he loved you. when he was so desperate for attention he ended up crying, ruining the makeup he asked you to redo every 15 minutes.

“do you know the remedy for lovesickness?” 

you made soup for him. told him to take hot baths, said it’d be good for his body. then you gave him books to keep his mind busy. after that, you started applying violet oil to his clothes every day. none of them truly helped. if anything, the fact that you made soup for him only made things worse.

“you should quit.” the manager finally said to you. and if you had to be honest, although the job did pay you well, being the center of attention because of a madman made you consider leaving. so all you did was nod. you didn’t try and solve it. you didn’t pretend you weren’t scared and uncomfortable. 

safe to say he didn’t take it well.

“I'm just wondering— where did you get this stupid idea?” his harsh tone didn’t match the kindness on his face. the type of kindness that held that strange, almost gentle warmth.

“I didn't sign up for this,” you said, voice louder than you intended. he blinked, as if confused, then let out a faint chuckle that almost made you shiver, “yes, yes you did,” he smiled. mouth ajar, you glanced at the manager, her lips pressed into a tight, straight line. he gave a small tilt of his head when he noticed you looking at her. the manager caught the signal and nodded once, then silently left the room.

“you did sign up for this,” he said, voice flat. “the moment you let me read those book passages out loud. when you let me ramble about my nowhere hometown, stupid stories from my high school like any of it mattered,” he looked at you, unreadable, “you knew you signed up for it the second you took the opportunity. don’t pretend you didn’t.”

“I’m quitting, then,” you murmured. you’d never seen him so serious, and the unfamiliarity made your body tense.

“yeah?” he gently smiled, “you truly believe I’ll let you walk away? just like that?” he let out a quiet, genuinely amused laugh. “do you really not see it? your career’s pretty much over.”

a contract meant insurance. protection. it also meant chains. guaranteed captivity.

“and one more thing” he muttered, rummaging through the drawer as he spoke. at last, he finally pulled out a small bottle— the violet oil. “I adore you,” he said, voice too sharp, a little too bright. “and that—“ he gave the bottle a little shake, 

“is not the cure. not even close.”

[ackerlikesmen]

"You're biased and just hate Annabeth!!"

Recently, I've noticed posts criticizing anti-Percabeth shippers for being biased against Annabeth because we overlook Percy's mistakes. There's some truth to that.

We focus more on Annabeth's actions than Percy's because they're more impactful and harmful, at least that's me. That's not to say Percy is a saint because he's not. While I do see more criticism of Annabeth, I also see criticism of Percy, such as his passivity when Annabeth does something he dislikes or his lack of openness to her. Hell, a lot of anti-percabeth stans feel Percy is a shell of himself and don't like where he's heading. I also see them criticize how he treated Bob in Tartarus because he was manipulative and a dick. I'm sure there's a lot more to criticize him on.

Percy gets criticized as a character and his choices, but for percabeth, he's rarely the issue here.

To keep it short, let's ask ourselves:

Has Percy done ANY of the following to Annabeth?

Has he called her mean names, intending to bring her down, so he feels better about himself?

Did he demean Annabeth for not understanding something?

Did he crap over her accomplishments because others acknowledge her achievements, then get happy when she's being insulted and told she can't do anything without Percy's help?

Has he insulted her family members or friends?

While Annabeth mourns for her dead brother, has Percy made that moment about himself?

Did he stalk her while she was changing and make excuses for it?

Did he yell and scream at her during stressful times, causing more stress?

Has he made her afraid of him to the point she expects to get hit or chewed out for getting something wrong, even if it's a little?

Has he hit, kicked, shoved, and body slammed her because she ANNOYED or ANGERED him? We're not talking about sparring. Has Percy put his hands on her because she did something he didn't like?

Has he shown a lack of appreciation when she does something kind because she can't afford to do something extravagant?

Has he made her plan everything and hold expectations while he sits on his ass, only to later judge her efforts???

Has he put her life at risk by shoving her into a dangerous situation with a dangerous god/goddess wanting to kill her, watching her getting her shit rocked, and when she asks for help, he sits on his ass and points to his "watch"? Did he do all of this, not knowing if she'll survive?

Has he tried to control her? Make her do something she doesn't like, or make him uncomfortable about interacting, or even think about others?

Has he brought up an ex in fucking Tartarus with the intention of making her uncomfortable?

Has he shamed her for using dark powers that literally saved their lives? Again, showing no gratitude.

Has he gossiped about her to a friend and let his friend paint her as an animal/monster that needs to be leashed?

Has he tried to guilt-trip Annabeth into doing things?

All of those are no.

But Annabeth has done them to Percy.

What's worse? She hasn't apologized. Not once.

Now do you understand why anti-percabeth stans don't like her or are critical of her? It's hard to like a character that's not only a bitch but a bitch that faces little to no consequences, on top of stans calling you 'sexist' for not kissing her feet and calling their relationship the "golden standard".

Trying to shift blame onto Percy is annoying at best and scummy at worst. It's victim blaming. Yes, Percy has done some rude things, but that's nowhere near as horrific as what she did.

When I hear stans talk about her changing, part of changing is acknowledging WHAT NEEDS TO BE CHANGED. Being aware of your wrongdoings. Please list where she has apologized to Percy for being a cunt? Where does she realize she's being cruel and needs to change?

It's Percy who either apologizes or looks over what she did.

That's not changing or becoming better. That's sweeping your shit under the rug and hoping no one smells it. It's the victim trying to tell themselves that what they're going through isn't terrible, and they need to "toughen up".

Yesterday, I saw a stan bashing a fanfic writer for writing Annabeth in a critical light. When the author gave evidence of how Annabeth mistreats him, not only did they ignore it, but they also bash Percy and blame him for things he didn't do or were out of his control.

And that's why I criticize her more. Her actions are more impactful and harmful than Percy's ever will be. The fact Percy EXPECTS her to hurt him is damaging enough. That's probably how fucking Sally feels with Gabe. If I do something wrong, he'll hurt me. Why the fuck can't this be considered the same or similar to Percabeth? Her intent to bring him down and hurt him because of her insecurities is why I voice my complaints, and when I got hardcore stans trying to OVERLOOK and DEFEND her actions, even blaming Percy, I can't help but scorn and bitch louder.

You stans want Percy to share the blame when he isn't required to. You want Annabeth to seem less bad and mean, and I am not okay with that. We should not lessen the blows she delivered. I get that some people can blow things out of proportion, but we have evidence that she's similar to Gabe and is just a nasty person.

Overall, it's not bad that one person gets more blame, especially when they're the ones causing the problems, and that someone is Annabeth Chase, and I won't stop being vocal about that.

Alright. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

Have a good night xxx.

[quartztwst]

All jokes and memes aside what was it that made you like Azul so much?

I dont know

Honestly, it started out really shallow. I used to hate Azul like ACTUALLY until he had his breakdown and it made me feel really bad. I thought his backstory was basic and boring although I could relate to it.

I was on the bandwagon where people were calling him a crybaby and a cute helpless octobaby and I genuinely fed into it because I didn't have the media literacy back then. I was like 13-14, I was in my anime x listener phase bro

I don't know I was kinda amazed by Azul's outburst like that shit entranced me when I was 13-14 because I didn't really see guy characters have a breakdown this bad 😭😭 I saw deku cry a lot but he wasn't insane as Azul at the time

I think I forced myself to be attached to Azul because I was amazed by that which is WEIRD I know but I think I was just amazed by his sudden switch from being a tough and cool guy to a sobbing and crazy mess.

It was really shallow btw

It wasn't until I got older that I started to appreciate and understand more of his character which made me like him a lot.

I really liked how he carries himself and how silly he puts so much effort on things. I'm also really intrigued by his schemes and I enjoy seeing him with the tweels the most.

To be honest, the only word I would describe him is "cute" because I find him cute like genuinely.

A lot of people would say "omg hes so handsome!!" "Pretty!!" "Ugly" "so beautiful" but I think he's just cute.

I love seeing how caught off guard he gets or how angry he gets. It's super fun lmaoo and I love when he gets insane too

I think I love Azul because he's very dynamic and very interesting when you learn more about him.

[eviemonroeer]

The Monroe Effect: Chapter 32

Set before and during Season 6, Episode 16 of ER. Spoilers if you haven't seen the show.

Warnings: Angst, Mentions of Anxiety

WC: 1.5 k

ER story belongs to original creators, just adding on my own original charter.

Taglist: @pleasecallmeunhinged, @rainmg, @arigoldsblog, @queenslandlover-93, @hagarsays, @antisocialfiore, @snowflames-world, @guiltypleassure243, and @omgbrianab

MASTERLIST

I felt like a bundle of nerves trying to keep myself together through various fraying strings. It was like any little thing could set me off, the tension bubbling just underneath the surface. I didn’t like living this way. No one would. Plus as a still pretty newly post-partum mom with an out of commission partner, things were ten times worse, and I didn’t know what to do. 

First, it was when Carter came home from the hospital. He was absolutely restless from the moment he got home. This was crazy to me given the fact that he could barely walk without being in pain. The emotional part of my brain knew he was trying to be helpful, knew he was trying to contribute to the household like he normally did. And I appreciated it, I really did. But the rational part of my brain saw him getting up to load the dishwasher or trying to unload the dryer as a step back in his recovery. His surgery wounds were just starting to truly heal, and he still had his colostomy bag. We couldn’t afford a setback. I needed him to sit on the couch for once and do nothing except hold our daughter and watch TV. But that defiantly wasn’t my boyfriend. 

So, there were arguments. Some choice words that were usually quickly followed up with an apology. But the tension was still there. 

The thing I thought was going to be my true unraveling was the arrival of Carter’s parents. They had supposedly been “stuck” in Tokyo for the first three weeks of Carter’s recovery, and they hadn’t tried to speed up their return until he was conveniently out of the hospital. I had stayed up until after midnight the night before, cleaning every visible itch of the apartment and maybe even then some. For the first time in weeks, I put on something other than sweats or pajamas, and even did my make up to try and put forth an effort. I mean, the last time they saw me, Eleanor Carter claimed I was a phase and not good enough for her son. I had to be put together, I had to. 

They were respectful enough. They kept their disdained looks about the place we chose to live to a minimum. Jack held Meghan while Eleanor looked on. The comment about me looking far too nice to be taking good care of Carter made me want to scream, but thankfully Carter was also on high alert around them and shut it down quickly. I just held it all in, the tightness in my chest getting a little bit worse. They left after maybe an hour and a half, a check on the table and a new baby swing still in its box propped up by the one we already had. It was taken by the store the next day for return.

The second surgery to remove the colostomy bag was “easier” in comparison. But to Carter it was still a setback to returning to work. He spent a few more nights in the hospital and then it was back to overdoing himself at home despite still needing to heal. So, we continued our arguments and our apologies. I spent a lot of those nights sleeping in Meghan’s room. It was under the guise of her sudden cluster feeding stage, but I think we both knew we needed the space. 

The moment the doctor cleared him to go back to work, he was on the phone with Weaver to get put back on the schedule. I really wanted to fight him on it. I still had a week left of my maternity leave and it would be easier if we could go back together, coordinate our schedules so Meghan didn’t have to go into daycare just yet. But a selfish part of me deep down inside wanted him gone; wanted space to breathe again and deal with only one helpless human being. 

It made me feel like a horrible person.

The thought first came when I got in the shower after his phone call was done. I already felt the edging of pissed off tears, so I excused myself so I wouldn’t blow up on him. Once I was under the cascade of water though, my heart felt like it was beating so loud, the pounding of it echoed in my ears. My hands shook as I tried to clean my hair and body and I turned to rinse off my back and found my face still wet, quiet tears rolling down my cheeks. 

I needed a break. 

I needed a break, or something was going to be said or done that I regretted. 

The morning of his first shift, I made sure his bag was packed, including an easy lunch, and made breakfast since Meghan was still fast asleep. I tied his tie for him and when he was ready to go, I zipped up his jacket for him. 

“Please be careful today. Go slow and don’t do too much if you’re not ready.” 

“I will.” He replied. 

That was a lie. But I chose not to call him on it. I gave him a quick kiss and opened the door, allowing him to leave. I waited until he was inside the elevator before I went back in.

Everything is going to be okay, I kept repeating to myself over and over throughout the day. He’s in a place with people who care about him and can help him. They’ll call if something goes wrong. 

Despite the silence that now lingered due to his absence, I felt a couple nerves disconnect, fraying away into oblivion. 

I was in that precarious state between awake and asleep when the bed beside me dipped and I heard a low groan. My eyes immediately snapped open, and I sat up as Carter tried to work himself into bed alone. “Evie don’t—” 

“It’s okay.” I said and got out of bed. Retying my robe, I walked around to the other side to help him position himself correctly.  It took a second and a few grunts of pain, but it eventually worked, and he was in bed. I propped his crutches against the wall before I began walking to the door. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I was going to go check on Meghan and go pump, give you some space.” 

“Please lay with me. Please.”

It was the first time in a couple weeks I felt he was genuine in wanting to make physical contact with me. And my body reacted in an almost Pavlovian way. I nodded and walked back around to my side of the bed, draping my robe over the headboard. “Now that’s not nice.” I raised an eyebrow and Carter’s eyes drifted down to my body. I looked down and sighed. I was wearing a silk slip, the lace falling over the top of my engorged breasts and hitting just above my knee. 

I sighed. “It’s all that was clean. I’ve either leaked on every pajama set I own, or your daughter’s messed it up. I didn’t think you’d want me ruining any more of your shirts then I already have.” Carter chuckled, genuinely chuckled, and patted the bed. I smiled and laid down beside him, cuddling into his side as he held me in his arms. He kissed my head and snuggled into me. “You’re home pretty late. They’re not already running you ragged, are they?” 

“No. I went to see Gamma before I came home.” 

“Is she okay?” 

“Yeah, she’s fine. She asked me something.”  

“Oh god. Do I even want to know?” 

“She asked if we would move in with her and grandpa for a little bit.” He paused and I felt his grip on me tighten. “And I’m honestly inclined to say yes.” 

“What?” I asked and sat up out of his arms. “You seriously want to move in with your grandparents? Why is that even a remotely good idea?” 

“Because I can barely hold my seven week old daughter. I’m still in so much pain that I can’t pick her up from her crib or play on the floor with her. Because you’ve resorted to sleeping in your nice lingerie instead of being comfy because you can’t get laundry done fast enough. Because you were supposed to spend your maternity leave taking care of and bonding with our baby, not being my nurse.” He paused, pinching his nose. “If we move in with them, Corrine can help you and take some stuff off your plate and she can watch Megan during shifts, so we don’t have to put her in daycare yet.” He cupped my face with his hand and brushed my cheek with his thumb. “You deserve to have a break. Please Evie. I’ve been useless the past month and a half. Let me do something to help you.” 

I could see the devastation in his eyes at having to admit all of that. This time had been so hard on him, on both of us. I guess I just hadn’t seen it as clearly, trying to keep my head above water. “Okay.” I said and nodded my head. “Okay. We’ll go stay with them for a little bit.” 

Carter nodded and pulled me in, laying me back down beside him. “Thank you.” He whispered. “Thank you.” 

[jomiddlemarch]

Never know how much I care 

“Not on my watch,” Robby said, putting an arm around Abbot’s back, feeling how Abbot immediately let his weight rest on Robby. The effort Abbot was making to stay upright, to keep steady. His shift started in ten minutes and he was early like he usually was and it had taken Robby about five seconds to see Abbot was sick as a dog, most likely with the flu that had started going around two weeks ago.

“M’okay,” Abbot said, his voice low, rough. He’d been coughing for hours, Robby could hear that, even if the residents looked apprehensive, like Abbot might growl at them for messing up an ABG. Like Abbot would ever do that.

“You look like shit, man,” Robby said. The ER was busy around them, seething and heaving the way the ocean did far from shore and Robby tuned it all out. “I already did sign-out, I’ll take you home—”

“I’m fine, they’ll be short an attending—” 

“It’s okay. Cheryl’s here and they can call Tom if they need back-up. He’s bored, he’s been texting me about the game the whole shift,” Robby said. Abbot was still, as if he were gathering himself to refuse, to pull away and then Robby realized Abbot was trying as hard as he could not to cough.

“It’s okay,” Robby repeated. “They got this. I got you. It’s good for them to see we take time off. You’re being a role model—”

“You know the way?” Abbot asked, interrupting Robby. Leaning in closer, too warm. He had a fever, hard to say how high, definitely over 101 but he wouldn’t have taken anything for it and Robby had a bottle of ibuprofen in his backpack, so it didn’t matter if Abbot’s medicine cabinet was empty.

“I remember,” Robby said. 

They didn’t talk about That Night, which is always referred to in his inner monologue as That Night and nothing else, only a series of images and sensory memories he can’t bear to limit with words. Yeah, Robby remembered where Abbot’s apartment was, what the front door looked like and the view past the kitchenette, down the hall. He remembered a lot and it wasn’t relevant at the moment, with Abbot feeling like crap and needing to be put to bed with someone keeping an eye on him, making sure he took an antipyretic q4 and had a wrung-out washcloth laid on his forehead.

“Get Cheryl to change the schedule. He’s going to be out the next two shifts minimum,” Robby called over to Donna. He gave Abbot a little squeeze to prompt him to walk and Abbot’s halting shuffle made it crystal clear Robby was right. “C’mon, let’s go, you belong in bed.”

They made it to the couch in the living room. Robby decided to call it a win, since Abbot almost certainly slept there a decent percentage of the time, based on what he knew of Abbot and the state of the couch, which compared to the rest of the furniture in the apartment had been Abbot’s splurge purchase when he became an attending.

(Robby had gotten a really good set of speakers but at least neither of them had gone for the clichéd plasma TV. They worked in the ER, not ortho or derm, so neither one of them had a red sportscar.)

Abbot’s couch was upholstered in a non-descript neutral that even full sunlight would fail to elicit any real color from, but the material was high-end and there were no signs of any fraying or worn patches. There was a striped throw blanket tossed over the back but it wasn’t going to cover Abbot above the waist, so once Robby helped Abbot lie down, he went to the bedroom to take the quilt off the bed. It was handmade, elaborate geometric piecework by some female relative of Abbot’s Robby hadn’t dared to ask about That Night, though he’d speculated to himself and if pushed, would have put his money on it being the work of Abbot’s grandmother.

“You don’t have to stay,” Abbot said but he couldn’t manage more than a mutter, working hard to get that even. Robby rolled his eyes. They said doctors make the worst patients and if that were true (and Robby knew from experience it was), Abbot made the worst of the worst.

“I guess I don’t but I’m gonna,” Robby replied.

Who knew you could measure a fever in missing protestations? Abbot’s lack of response made Robby reconsider, Abbot was probably around 102 based on his silence.

“Let’s get some ibuprofen into you and some fluids, then I’ll start working on some soup,” Robby said.

“Fridge is empty,” Abbot said, his eyes closed, shifting in clear discomfort.

“I’ll use DoorDash,” Robby said. Abbot grimaced, an expression Robby recognized, though Abbot never actually uttered a complaint.

“Let me deal with your leg,” Robby said carefully and this made Abbot open his eyes. Robby braced for an argument or a dismissal.

“Thought you’d never ask,” Abbot said, his usual dry humor eclipsed by a hacking cough that hurt Robby to hear. Robby knelt beside the couch and rolled up the scrubs covering Abbot’s prosthesis, then made quick work of unhitching the metal leg from Abbot’s knee, setting it to one side, within Abbot’s reach.

“Better,” Abbot said and he didn’t look worse, so Robby got up and went into the kitchen to get him a glass of water. There was no time to waste getting the ibuprofen into Abbot and once that was done, Robby would get started on the soup, which meant finding a pot big enough and putting together the DoorDash order. There was no chance Abbot had one single carrot lying plaintively in the veggie drawer of his fridge and with the time he had, Robby was going to have to break down and order some chicken stock or possibly luck out with some bone broth as the base.

One rotisserie chicken (another hack, but one he felt Bubbe Esti would approve, since he could also make sure there was a little chicken salad in the fridge for Abbot), a bunch of carrots, some celery, onion, chicken stock (no bone brother available, the OUT OF STOCK flashing enough to trigger a seizure or at least a seizure warning) and an over-priced but essential bunch of dill ordered and six hundred milligrams of ibuprofen and two glasses of water swallowed, Robby’s hand hovering, then guiding Abbot’s trembling one, Abbot lay quietly on the couch and Robby was at loose ends.

He wasn’t familiar with that or anyway, he didn’t want to be, which was partly why he chose a career that had him moving and talking and always juggling one more task, and why he kept a kids basketball hoop on the back of his bedroom door and never considered getting a cat, because he didn’t need a pet that threw back in his face his inability to sit quietly and simply be. Abbot had remarked on it, That Night, but the observation had so much affection in it, Robby hadn’t taken offense. He’d actually settled down, still, drifting a little, Abbot’s hands gentle and knowing and incredibly sure. Now he watched Abbot’s chest rise and fall and tried to keep himself from fidgeting or getting up and poking around Abbot’s apartment, something between a nosy body and a spy.

He'd compromised on looking at the contents of the tall bookshelf in the living room, noticing which books looked most handled, what other objects Abbot had felt merited a display when the doorbell rang. The groceries were waiting on the mat, the delivery person already thumping their way down the hall to the elevator. Robby picked them up and brought them inside, walking the short distance to the kitchen. Abbot didn’t stir on the couch.

Twenty minutes later, a big pot was simmering on the stove, Robby had wiped down the counters and found what was evidently the one piece of Tupperware Abbot owned and had put the remaining chicken into it. It wasn’t going to be the best soup, but without homemade stock and an organic bird, that was a given. The state of Abbot’s fridge and cupboards made it clear he was unlikely to offer any complaints and also, Robby should have ordered more groceries. He leaned against the tall cupboard, which was supposed to be a pantry, even if it was mostly empty, and started a list on his phone. OJ, ginger ale, bananas, English muffins…he was mulling over peanut butter when he heard Abbot.

“You can go, leave, m’okay,” was what Robby could make out, though Abbot had said more, words Robby hadn’t been able to understand, though it hadn’t been because Abbot was coughing. He went over to the couch and crouched down, taking Abbot’s wrist in his hand almost without thinking. He was tachy and he felt even warmer than before. He was spiking through the ibuprofen, which wasn’t good.

“Not going anywhere, buddy,” Robby said, taken aback when Abbot’s arm came up, his hand catching Robby’s chest.

“You don’t wanna be here…you can go on home, better that way, you’re on tomorrow,” Abbot said and it was That Night again, the same words, the same tone, Abbot’s eyes dark, his hand holding Robby even as he told him to go. It was That Night and that meant Abbot was delirious, lost in a memory. It meant his fever was at least 104 and he needed more that Robby could give him at home.

(Home—Abbot’s home or Robby’s? How could a place he’d only been to a few times be more his home that his own house, the bed he’d slept in for the past twelve years?)

Abbot’s arm dropped, his wrist grazing Robby’s hand. It wasn’t a conscious thought, Robby just held him, watching his breathing, the lack of focus in his eyes.

“That’s it, we’re going in,” Robby said, more to himself than Abbot, given that Abbot was drifting in and out, and Robby was starting to worry about his sats.

“No, don’t—ice bath,” Abbot croaked. 

Robby shook his head, thinking about whether he needed to call an ambulance or could get Abbot back to the hospital in his car—

“Don’t need to go in. Ice bath,” Abbot said.

Robby opened his mouth, about to tell him it wasn’t up for discussion, Robby was making the call when Abbot spoke again, a little slower, a little looser.

“I’m not fucking delirious, Michael.”

For a moment, Robby felt like he was the one with the fever, delirious, his face burning, dizzy. Jack hadn’t called him Michael since That Night and he hadn’t known how much he’d wanted to hear it again. How he’d feel if, when he did. For a moment, they were silent together and then Jack shook with a rigor. If an ice bath was happening, it was happening now.

“Ten minutes. If we don’t have you in the tub, if your temp isn’t dropping, I’m calling an ambulance. I’m not fucking around. No heroic measures in your shitty bathtub,” Robby said.

“Maybe next time,” Abbot, Jack said, turning his wrist so he could hold Robby’s hand in his. So he could close his eyes and know Robby, Michael understood.

[yaegeram]

VOLKER LORE DROP REAL???

° I have thought about Volker a lot and a few things have changed since I came up with his design and talked about him for the first time.

° While most of him stayed the same, I do want to lean more into the meth addicted part of him. I've started to give him open sores on his face and body in general as well as worse teeth. On his body he now carries a belt with several of those Pervitin bottles strapped in on it, similarly to Coyle's cigarette belt thing.

° Nothing about his backstory changed that much, it's mainly just minor things and I will try to get a comic done in the style of black frog eventually, I just don't know when.

° Additionally his body looks a lot worse for wear, his hemiparetic side now has significant muscle atrophy with his leg orthosis having to do a lot more heavy lifting. I think the sound design of him creaking about and having the metal of this orthosis hitting the ground would be interesting.

° As for Eastermans family dynamic within the prime assets, he'd fulfill the role of a brother or a sister. Since he had a kind of brotherly relationship with a lot of his comrades from the war, I'd imagine a lot of that would carry over into his trials. The sister thing comes from the way nurses get called "Schwester" (sister) a lot in Germany. This transcends gender and is also a term used towards male nurses (speaking from my own experience). Maybe he'd have a kind of sisterly bond with his "patients", acting like a relative, someone they can trust or even describe himself as one.

I never stopped thinking about my Shayla and will continue to post about him since he's an OC i put a lot of effort into 🫶

[eliotquillon]

summer of ketamine head cannons!!

oh i am SO GLAD YOU ASKED

- it doubles as a bit of a summer break for the kids too; they don’t have as much time off as house, but they do get signed off for a bit after witnessing the trauma of, y’know, their boss getting shot in front of them. (foreman tries to protest, but ends up getting more out of it than either cameron or chase; this is later why he also takes time off after kutner dies.)

- when the fellows DO come back foreman makes a weak stab at heading up diagnostics until house returns, but doesn’t really put up much of a fight when cuddy shuts it down; he goes to neurology, and cameron gets put in the ER because immunology is overstaffed—where she Finds Herself and decides that that’s what she wants to do when her fellowship is over. chase just sort of bounces around surgery and the ICU where needed and does a loooot of overtime trying to make up for that trust fund shortfall now that house isn’t looming over his shoulder. cameron and chase make an effort to meet for lunch every week or so and email one another occasionally; foreman gets the odd invite off cameron, but never shows up LOL. (he reasons that he’ll be seeing enough of them eventually when house gets back.)

- wilson and cuddy spend a fair amount of time together over this summer. he initially has to browbeat her into agreeing to the ketamine treatment (she might feel guilty about her role in what happened with house’s leg the first time, but that just makes her especially reluctant to mess with it again; she’s not exactly gagging to act on house’s very vague and semi-unconscious wishes as secondhand reported from cameron just because wilson claims he knows what house meant), but when it becomes clear that it’s an initial success and house is happy with it they spend a looot of time hanging out and worrying about house together over lunch. iirc @cuddytism has a great post about how cuddy and wilson are suddenly a lot closer from the very start of s3 onwards (and explains pretty clearly why this happens from a meta, doylist perspective); i like to think this gets its start that summer.

- house spends a lot of time outdoors that summer. not just because he’s becoming physically active again—although that’s a big part of it—but also the weather doesn’t risk setting off a flare. he bikes, he swims, he goes camping and drags wilson out with him. he wears shorts, even; he’s a lot less self-conscious of the scar when it doesn’t have so much literal, physical pain attached to it. he won’t let wilson talk about work with him, so they spend a ridiculous amount of time playing racquetball.

- there’s a very weird moment where chase runs into house while they’re jogging the same route, and house is…not a complete dick about it. chase is absolutely thrown by this; he was pretty badly shaken up after the shooting (nearly seeing your boss die in front of you not long after your estranged father died thousands of miles away is a rough combination, buddy), and although the kids had all heard about the ketamine they’d all assumed the effects would be either very temporary or fairly minimal (cameron emails chase and foreman NEJ articles about it lmao). the interaction is so random that he ends up a quiet believer in the idea that, actually, the ket might stick AND change house for the better, although he never says it out loud. he is rewarded for this faith by…the tritter arc and getting punched out in finding judas lmaooo

- house doesn’t step foot in ppth that whole summer after he’s discharged. he blows off his first rehab appointment, then switches to princeton general after getting an earful from both wilson and cuddy about it (she threatens to cancel his rehab leave if he won’t actually use it for rehab). cameron assumes he’s traumatised from the shooting; chase and foreman just assume they’re being avoided. wilson gets it out of him eventually, when he gets the full hallucination retelling: house is a lot more disturbed by that whole episode than he lets on, and doesn’t want it to fuck with his recovery.

- first thing house asks when he’s well enough to talk is what happened to tongue guy. wilson and cuddy have no idea what he’s talking about. the kids admit they transferred the guy over to general and that none of them have any idea what happened to him, and house is sooooo annoyed they threw out a perfectly good case. full-on sulks for a day. then he realises the ketamine is working better than expected and tongue guy literally never crosses his mind again

- house does quietly consider leaving ppth permanently; it’s partly why he draws out his medical leave for so long. he doesn’t tell anyone this. it never gets past the floating resumes stage; his fear of change wins out, as does his quiet anxiety that maybe the ketamine won’t stick.

[insertna-me]

I’m moving sooooo slow I haven’t gotten anywhere and it’s stiff…🫩

@sonem3w - Felicia :3

I’m really worried abt anything being mischaracterizing* so I wrote this like- more on Amelia’s side if that makes sense.

Anyways! I think Amelia would be friends with Felicia, probably in a “extrovert adopts introvert” kind of way.

After Felicia and her brother had gotten their reputation up a bit and Amelia noticed that the other preps didn’t mind having them around Amelia did her best to befriend Fel.

Amelia probably starts the conversation off by like talking about some drama going around and gauging her reaction before deciding; “oh hell yeah I can gossip with her”

She’s like a big sleepover person, with no siblings (She doesn’t count Avery and he’s not living with her family) she has a lot of space and puts a lot of effort into it. She of course invites Felicia over and they probably stay up watching movies and such.

Amelia is very interested when she learns Felicia knows how to do henna, she thinks it’s cool and well- she herself wouldn’t get a tattoo (probably says something along the lines of not wanting it to be tacky- whatever) but knowing that this would fade makes her more willing to do so. She probably lets Fel freestyle most of the time and is more than willing to hand off some of her allowance to buy her more supplies.

And ofc in typical prep fashion she probably spoils Fel and insists on paying. She thinks she’s doing something and that it makes her look better— eheh

GOD I DONT KNOWWW, guys 😭😭

[leslutdepointedulac]

I saw you like Nicki/Eleni. I've never heard of them as a pairing so I'm curious. What are your thoughts about them?

Aaahh where do I even begin omg! It's such an interesting ship to me with A lot going on that I'll do my very best to explain lmao. The thing is, I don't really view them as a 'typical' ship as such. When I think about them and their relationship, they sit in this weird sort of grey area to me in that they're not platonic but they're not exactly in a place of romance either, they sit somewhere outside of both those things.

I've always seen Eleni as something of a mother type figure to Nicki and he's her adopted coven son who she took under her wing when they formed the Theatre des Vampires. But there's something else with them that runs deeper than that for me. I see them as being two people who are deeply bonded in a way that's hard to put a proper label on and define, I think they do love each other but in a very particular kind of way. Although I do adore calling them MotherWife and SonHusband because I think it's funny and it makes me happy and those things do apply to them on some obscure level that in my mind, does give a simple overview to their connection.

I think this sums them up quite well honestly 😂

I don't imagine them instantly bonding though, I think Eleni had to earn Nicki's favour, but she worked hard to get it and it paid off. I see Nicki as having recognised her efforts and seeing them as genuine so over time he learned to trust her and be tolerant and, in my opinion, show her, on some level, a sort of love. Not necessarily as a lover but in a form of gratitude for her treatment of him and dedication to earning a more docile and tolerant side of him.

I view Eleni as being the only person to actually understand Nicki in a way that no one else really does. She knows how to deal with him and control him, which even Armand is often unsuccessful at achieving, and based on how she talks about him in her letters to Lestat in TVL, it's clear to me personally that she really does care for and about him and loves him. She understands that he's Not Doing Okay and that he shouldn't have experienced/be experiencing the Horrors in his life that he's faced. She feels sadness when he dies though she no doubt knew it was inevitable and lets it happen. I think she (and the whole coven tbh) let him go because she loves him and to stop it would be cruel.

And with Nicki, I'm not sure what it is exactly to be perfectly honest, but I've just always imagined him having a good relationship with Eleni. Like, to me, not only is she the only person he really tolerates and likes (post Lestat) but he finds a sense of comfort and companionship with her that no one else gets the privilege of experiencing from him. And I think it's down to Eleni being the one to treat him the nicest, in my mind anyway, and I also imagine her as being the one person who actually treats him like a person instead of just a feral animal in need of taming, or a crazed fledgling who needs to be feared and dominated into submission.

Anyone else would be, and probably is to a degree, skittish around him and/or downright fearful of him, which is understandable to be fair. But at the end of the day, I think a part of why Nicki acts the way he does is because he's angry and scared, so lashing out and causing chaos is how he deals with it, but it doesn't deter Eleni or scare her off. I get the vibe Eleni stands her ground with him and shows him no fear while still showing him kindness and fairness.

Like, she does assert a level of authority and control over him but I don't think it's in a way that is unfair or treating him like an animal, it's more that he's a bit wild sometimes and someone has to do something to calm him down. It's a bit like a parent trying to keep their hyperactive toddler in line, it's nothing malicious but she needs to correct his behaviour so he knows he's in the wrong. Showing aggression towards him or serving him violent punishments isn't respectable to him and sure as hell doesn't make that person 'safe' to be around. Ultimately, the way Nicki is treated by Eleni shows him she can be respected and seen as a 'safe person', whereas everyone else is pretty unfair to him in his eyes, whether they intend to be or not.

So yeah, I think through a series of kind actions from Eleni along with her maternal nature (imo), Nicki saw in her someone he could rely on and find comfort in, and over time it turned into a strong bond between them that lasted until Nicki died.

Delving even deeper into some real headcanon territory here lmao, but I like to think that on Nicki's good nights, he and Eleni were able to relax around each other, and Nicki could reflect something similar to how he used to be when he was more playful and charming, albeit in a slightly skewed manner now and with a touch more deviousness. He might say something mischievous which makes Eleni lightly and playfully slap his arm and scold him, even as she smiles and he doesn't take offence because he knows it's harmless and it's Eleni. He simply flashes her a smile and says something else even more shocking.

Even on Nicki's bad nights, Eleni is someone he can rely on. On the nights when Nicki is upset and even shuts down entirely, Eleni can either be someone to comfort him or simply give him space while ensuring no one else bothers him. He can rant to her, get angry and even throw things if he wants and she'll just hear him out, step in to gently talk him down if needed. When it's directed at someone else, Eleni can be firm with him but not unreasonable and attempt to de-escalate things.

And I don't think Eleni ever has to worry about Nicki turning on her, I think she's more than sure of herself and has gained his trust and affection to the point where she isn't in danger of getting hurt. That's not to say Nicki doesn't lose his temper with her on occasion but he won't do much more than yell at her and demand space.

I have so many thoughts about these two, there's so much about them which I find so fascinating and I adore them 🥹 I know we're not given much at all in canon but the crumbs we do get are really telling to me. The minimal details from canon also just means we get to play around with them and make it our own which is always fun! I just hope I can convince at least someone to get on board to join the current grand total of 2 Nicki/Eleni shippers (myself ofc and my dearest @aunteat, it's just us against the world atm 😂). If I've managed to recruit at least one other person I'll be happy, I just want more people to scream with about them and share all the goodness 🥹

[momomallowart]

Happy birthday Tomura ʕ⁠ ⁠ꈍ⁠ᴥ⁠ꈍ⁠ʔっ🎉🎂

He is loved more than he knows 💗

Alt version + close-ups 🫶💗

[loopyarts]

Shouma Ginzaki, I have so many thoughts on this little guy. That I wish to ramble about him for a bit. Mostly about things that I find interesting such as his character design but also my thoughts on him so far.

For context I am going off from just the demo alone, so I don’t have the full picture of what he will be like in the full game.

First off, the red marking on the characters foreheads seem to have some inspiration in both a red dot called a bindi and traditional Japanese kabuki theatre make up. A bindi has ties to Buddhism and is linked to the Ajna Chakra which is also known as the "third eye" or "inner wisdom". And if you’re an anime fan you might have seen at very least one character with a red dot in their character design. So there might be some pop culture aspects to the inspiration as well. Which is why some of the characters have such dot markings in their battle ready designs.

Another thing worth noting is that the colour red in Japanese culture is a pretty prominent and versatile colour with multiple layers of symbolism. Such as being associated with protection, joy, and strength, but also with passion, power, and even danger etc.

Finally, with Shouma and Mako they both have two dots markings above their forehead. It kinda look similar to geisha dot eyebrows or Hikimayu (引眉). It’s probably just a coincidence but I thought it was worth noting.

Shouma number is nine but interestingly enough it is written in upper capital Chinese Hanzi instead of Japanese Kanji. which is probably on purpose because in Japan the number nine is considered an unlucky number because the pronunciation (苦) (ku) is similar to (苦) (suffering). The association with hardship, pain and ties to bad luck/misfortune overall contributes to the negative reputation behind this number. Similar to how the number 4 similarly avoided in Japanese culture.

While in Chinese the number nine has the opposite reputation with it being associated with good luck/good fortune and can also mean long lasting and represents the maximum level of martial happiness and longevity. I just think that is a nice subtle detail in his uniform and weapon design overall with his number being nine and all. 

This probably means nothing but nine or more correctly eight phases of the moon can spiritually is often associated with cycles of growth, release, and renewal. Also the number Nine is symbolically represented by change and having a very empathic and compassionate soul. In numerology the number nine is usually linked to things such as completion, idealism, and a strong desire to help others. Which mostly fits Shouma personality in terms of his ideals and morals.

Also his star/zodiac sign Pisces is often associated with compassion, empathy, creativity, imagination and strong intuition but also a deep connection to the sub conscious. But also the weaknesses of the sign is being indecisive, sensitive, prone to escapism and their own inner turmoil. And melancholy behaviours feelings of sorrow and poignance; where they would rather go through and meditate on deep emotions such as despair/sadness rather than have no feelings at all.

Overall, the zodiac sign Pisces is very emotional driven sign and I don’t think it is a coincidence that Shouma as a character is written to be very driven by his strong emotional feelings and thoughts.

Anyway, this line of dialogue stuck out to me while playing the game demo. There seems to be a bit of a moon theme going on here? Or at the very least I think that the moon might be an important plot beat for this game story.

Which also lead to me noticing Shouma’s mecha also has some moon imagery on its design via the shoulders pads. Another interesting thing is that the chest of the mecha is designed with a Shiba Inu face notable a black one.

Shouma’s dog is probably not a literal black shiba ha ha. Although, his weapon having the chest be of the head of a black dog reminded me a bit of the Chinese mythology of the black dog called Tiangou/the heavenly dog. Which in the myth Tiangou either eats the moon or sun causing an eclipse but the moon is more notable one. Which could have inspired some design aspects to Shouma weapon perhaps.

Real quick, I will say that I haven’t looked too deeply or check to see if other characters have a subtle moon theme to their designs. Also, if you look closely on images of the other characters weapons they also have an although I will say a more subtle animal theme going on in their weapon designs as well.

Now onto his character design. First off, his backpack resembles a Kame/turtle shell get it because he’s hiding in his shell and need to slowly come out of it. Man, you gotta love the creativity Rui Komatsuzaki puts into his character designs overall.

Shouma’s boots also have a bit of a turtle-like pattern and with them being green, it looks like he has little turtle feet. His boots also partly resemble wellies, which are commonly associated with children at least in fiction giving him a childlike feel to his design. Plus they’re also outdoor boots and are usually quite popular with dog walkers as well.

Finally, his cap in terms of shape resembles either a frog, bear or hamster which adds even more to the animal theme to his overall character design.

I’m honestly curious with how Shouma’s dog, which is most likely a Shiba Inu and Sirei are connected somehow and it’s also interesting how he’s the only one that didn’t technically fight. Like there has to be a reason for it right? I also think Shouma is more important than he gives himself credit for, although I may wrong who knows. 

I don’t know if others have noticed this but Shouma to me seems to be a very peacemaker type of character. He doesn’t like conflict and always puts others comfort and needs first before himself a far good amount of the time. Plus, the way he talks about his dog in optional dialogue. Makes him appear to have a selfless and kind hearted soul underneath all the self esteem/self deprecation issues of course. 

I also think Shouma appears to be pretty good at reading the room and how others might be feeling. On the rare occasion he chimes in, he has some pretty possible ideas and theories on what might be happening in the current situation. But given how many times he’s gets shot down or told he’s stupid for thinking or saying anything at all.

Which probably breaks his confidence to where he feels he shouldn’t have said anything at all. Which is why he’s just accepts it and doesn’t push against it. Because he truly believes he can never be right on something but also insists on being a peacemaker making him unable to truly take on conflict.

Overall, from what I’ve seen so far, Shouma seems to be a very gentle soul. Who is way too harsh on himself but I do have faith that he will develop as a person as the story progresses. It probably won’t be perfect and I don’t expect his self esteem problems to just magically go away, that takes time. Honestly, Shouma so far is very relatable to me as someone who has gone through similar hardships as a teen.

Shouma has so much potential to be such a lovely and compelling written character overall and I look forward to see what the writers have in store for him in the full game. (He’s so autistic coded to me but that could just be me projecting a little onto him ha ha…)

Lastly, gameplay wise Shouma has the potential to be pretty op as a unit depending on how his abilities and moveset functions in the gameplay mechanics. 

He is a counter defender and his ability shut-in gives 1+ attack with every emery that hits him. Which could have potential to be stacked if his ability can get even stronger. Reflecting back attacks is his key, so Shouma ideally will probably excel being throw at enemies head first and focus on crowd control. 

Shouma will probably work best with the more frail units. Leading the enemies onto him while doing chip damage and letting heavy hitting units dish out the big hits. He’s also will probably have good synergy with the healer/support units as well but overall. I think he will probably be one of the better units in the game due to his ability to do crowd control in a game, where crowd control is key. Also depending upon on how his ability works he could also be quite a decent boss slayer as well. 

Anyway, that concludes my little slightly mentally ill ramble on him. OvO’)

[jewlist]

“And if I do touch them,” he hisses. “If I say use this sword” — In one swift motion he scoops Time’s sword off of the ground, holding it up so that the blade gleams — “to slit their necks what will you do? Will you don the Deity mask that sits in the pouch at your hip? Will you follow me across time? Hunt me down?”

A piece I drew inspired by this fic by @adrift-in-thyme.

bonus close-up under the cut:

[akkivee]

re: jyushi having no connections in the guidebook and him maybe considering the world’s stage

but i’ve been kinda wondering if it’s also bc jyushi’s never left nagoya in any meaningful way. in a very odd parallel between them, while dh has the standard 3 other connections all the other divisions have except bat as pictured above, none of them belong to rosho, who has also never left osaka

to round this off, ichiro’s also somebody who has never left ikebukuro and only has as many connections as he does bc others came to bukuro, so maybe this is one of the overarching reasons team ichiro was crafted for the mixed up arc 🤔

[squishosaur]

hey man. i'm just saying. why would we put inexperienced teenagers with over-inflated egos and obvious emotional issues into combat classes and make them claw their way to the top of their dorms and expect things to just run smoothly. who actually thought this