#here comes the angst…doo doo doo doo

[kayatoastkkat]

WAIT HUH SHE JUST.. SOLD HIM OUT?? JUST LIKE THAT????

i refuse to deviate from the order of the panels so first we're talking about this.

I CALLED IT, I CALLED IT YOU SEE I KNOW LANYON'S GONNA BE THERE DEMANDING ANSWERS. but…oh. i haven't considered Jekyll is witnessing all this horror unfold from his mindscape while he's nothing more than a shadow, an echo, unable to do anything about it. he's just as trapped as Hyde is.

hey. hey Lanyon. The Nile is a river in Egypt.

…what is this a magic show. Frankie. Frankie have you considered maybe Jekyll kept this secret for a reason. FRANKIE. FRANKIE HEY HEY WAIT NO STOP-

…okay. okay. pack your bags everyone we're screwed.

girlie DID NOT JUST SHOW OFF JEKYLL'S PRIVATE RESEARCH PAPERS IN FRONT OF EVERYONE GOD NO 😭😭 assuming Lanyon even understands thsi… (and if he doesn't Frankie will just dumb it down for him if) he's going to feel super betrayed that Jekyll never told him this. maybe that will even override the horror that Jekyll split himself in two

guys…remember that wip sketch of Jekyll staring sadly at a (presumably Frankie's) hand…when's that gonna come up……

[novemberheart]

{overview} John realizes his mistake, you and Simon grow closer

{warnings} cursing, some angst, fem reader, a/b/o dynamics, poly 141

Chapter 24 <- Chapter 25 -> Chapter 26

“Pick up your bloody phone,” he growled. He paced around his office, his mind automatically jumping to the worst. Well, could you blame him with your history? “Come on sweetheart,” He pleaded on the other line. He had shown up exactly three minutes ago ready to pick you up for a lunch date off base, yet you were nowhere to be seen.

He paced back over by his desk, wondering if he should start calling in the boys to look for you. It was then he saw it. The world went silent beside his heartbeat thrumming in his ears.

“No,” he nearly whined, his chest clenching painfully. He cursed moving as fast as he could down the hallway without attracting too much attention. He was going to shred that folder and its contents. He actually found it a bit funny when he found it. He was so against you joining and now you were one of the most important aspects of his life.

He should’ve destroyed it right then and there.

He could only imagine how you felt right now. The man who you had deemed your alpha rejecting you from first glance. The man who you had shared your mind and body with. He felt sick. He ran into Kyle in the elevator. His honey eyes widened at his appearance, his hand reaching out gripping onto his shirt. “What’s happened?” He urged.

“I fucked up,” he admitted instantly. “I don't know how to fix this, Kyle,” he gasped. His own hands grabbing onto the beta.

“It’ll be alright,” Kyle soothed, his own heart pounding in his chest.

“I still had those profiles Kate had sent, the ones with omegas she thought would work with us. I was a bastard and crossed them out. Including our girl. Well, I almost crossed all of them. I left one be,” he swallowed back his nerves, his hands beginning to tremble. He had never had such a bodily reaction before. The thought of losing you too much for his nervous system to process.

“What do you mean you left one be? Like there was one you wanted?” Kyle pressed. John nodded slowly, before shaking his head- contradicting himself.

“It wasn't that I preferred her. Given her history she just seemed like the best fit if we had to pick one,” John explained. At the time it had made sense. He didn't know any of you and it wasn't like he had put that much thought into it. He wasn't ready for an omega at that time. He hadn't even sent the papers back to Kate; he just let them rot in the bottom of his file cabinet. You were also the one Laswell was pushing for. If he rejected you, maybe she would leave him alone about it. At the time it made sense.

The elevator had gone up and down a few times before they had finally gotten off. Vernie greeted them at the door, but John beelined to your room.

Your sobs were deafening. He wasn't sure if he had ever heard someone cry so hard.

And it was his fault.

He tried the handle but you had locked the door. Your sobs continued so you either didn’t hear him or you didn't care.

“Sweetheart, it's me. Let me in so I can explain,” he knuckles rapped against the door desperately. He heard you sputter something. He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to know what you said. “Please, pretty girl. I know what it looks like, but please don't put any thought into it. I crossed you out just to get back at Laswell for pushing me to choose an omega. Please open the door,” he begged. Your sobs didn't decrease in the slightest, his alpha nearly throwing him into a frenzy.

“Can I come in, love?” Kyle spoke suddenly. You gave no response other than painful-sounding sobs. Kyle winced his hand rubbing over his chest like it would soothe the sharp pain.

“I love you,” John said. “I’ll be right here when you’re ready to talk about it,” his voice cracked. The alpha moved on shaky limbs to the couch, sitting with his head in his hands. He threw insults at himself quietly, before standing up again, making his way back to your door. “Please, honey, let me in. I need to see you,” he was back to desperation. His knuckles grazing against the door again.

“Give her time,” Kyle soothed, through his own gritted teeth. He couldn't understand how John had been so reckless. He had obviously left the folders in an accessible spot. You wouldn't just go snooping around. Kyle just hoped you didn't think he had anything to do with it.

It had been three hours. Your sobs had died down, making the house silent. That was almost worse. Kyle had talked him down multiple times from knocking your door down. The beta had to leave for training, leaving John by himself with his own thoughts. That had always been a deadly combination.

He had to relive it when Johnny came home, except the Scot wasn’t putting up with it. He grabbed a sharp tool out of his room, unlocking your door in five seconds flat. John stood up, but Johnny growled out a warning.

“Stay there,” he commanded. The alpha had no room to disagree with the burning beta. When they first met, John had assumed Johnny was an alpha based off of the way he carried himself.

“Peaches?” his voice was quiet and soft to not startle you.

“Go away,” you whined, making him wince.

“We had nothin’ to do with that, hen,” Johnny assured. He wasn't going to be in the doghouse because of the Captain’s mistake. Maybe on the field- but not when it comes to you. His hand reached out resting against your heated back. The emotional toll is already making you feel sick. You were burning up with a fever. “Come here, please,” it wasn't so much of a request as it was an order. You lifted your head up from the pillows, your raw eyes looking up at his. He whined low in his throat. His arms darting under your armpits, to pull you on top of him. You started sobbing again, the sounds hitting John on the other side of the door like a ton of bricks. You curled yourself against Johnny. You needed comfort, despite being mad at the world and everyone in it.

“He didn’t want me,” you mumbled sadly. “I called him alpha. I opened up to him. I trusted him. I slept with him. And the whole time he was wishing I was someone else,” you whined out. Johnny understood your hurt- he felt your hurt, yet he also knew that wasn't true in the slightest. John loved you madly.

“That's not true, Bon. He’s absolutely mad for you. He wouldn't trade you for anything or anyone. He had done it before he even met you, and he did it just to be obnoxious because Kate was pushing for you so hard and we weren't too keen on an omega- you know that,” Johnny reminded. You didn't want to be talked off the ledge. You wanted to jump. You wanted to be mad and be hurt without it being invalidated.

“But I wasn't enough to change his mind. Just one look at her on paper and she had him considering getting an omega,” you shot back. You tried pulling yourself away, wanting to find comfort in your sheets and not in the arms of Johnny. He didn't let you.

“Maybe for a split second, Bonnie. But if he had put any more thought into the situation he would've picked you. I know he would've,” Johnny reasoned. You weren't in the mood for reasoning.

“You can't prove that, Johnny. If he already had it in his mind that she would've been the better fit then I doubted I could've changed that,” your voice raised. John kept his ear against the door, his heart twisting painfully. “The only reason I was let into this pack was because Simon was hurt. He didn't care what omega Kate had picked for him as long as he could use them.” you had pulled yourself off of him, moving to a stand.

“Exactly! He didn't care which one he got. He didn't have his heart set on her bonnie. If he did he would've asked for her. You weren't written off because he didn't want you, you were written off because if he had approved you, you would've been flown out here the next day and none of us were ready for that yet. I know the reason you joined the pack feels like you were being used and you were. We’ll all admit that. But that's the world we come from, Bonnie. We are all puppets for our higher-ups to get what they want. They ship us off to the corners of the earth to fight in some war that no one, besides them, has reaped any benefits from. We are all being used in some way and you were too when you joined the pack. But I can promise you this, beautiful- and I can speak for everyone when I say we love you so fucking much. You're the best thing that has happened to us and we wouldn't trade you for anything,” he finished, his voice cracking at the last sentence.

You hated that his words made everything feel alright again. You still had lingering resentment at John and you probably would for a while- and every time you thought about it. But Johnny had made some good points- sincere points. Besides you had pulled a similar stunt with Simon not too long ago, and he managed to forgive you. You rested your head against Johnny’s shoulder, letting your body weight fall against him. You just needed some sleep.

You had woken up to a knock at your door. You were by yourself, but you could still feel the warmth of Johnny against the sheets.

“Come in,” you groaned. You needed water. It was John, carrying a takeout container of food. It was too dark for you to make out too much of him, yet you could feel the emotion dripping off of him.

“You need to eat,” He said softly. He flicked your desk light on. His beard was unkempt from him running his fingers through it. His eyes were so red and puffy, you were sure it was agonizing to blink. It hurt you to see him that way- yet you looked no better. His hand darted out, a natural instinct to guide you to your chair. You dodged away from him, sitting down yourself. He sighed, slowly sitting down on the edge of your bed. You remained silent. You didn't want to eat the food he had brought you- you didn't want to give him the satisfaction of taking care of you (like he always had), but you were starved, not having eaten since this morning. He remained quiet as you scarfed down your meal, his fingers picking at the calluses on his palms.

You closed it up, taking a few gulps of the water he had brought. You flicked the light back off beginning to get back into bed, until he grabbed you. You squirmed against him mumbling a few ‘let me go’s.’ He paid no mind holding you against his chest, his legs trapping you between them.

He buried his face in your neck, his grip on your constricting.

“I’m so sorry,” he whispered, making you halt. He sounded so small. He was no longer the booming alpha whose mere presence offered your protection and stability. Now he was afraid. Afraid that you didn't want him anymore. Afraid that you didn't want to be here. Afraid that you had regretted what had happened between the two of you. “I can't have you despise me, sweetheart. I just can't,” he whispered. Since you've joined he’s been discovering new things about himself every day. He was quicker to fall in love than he thought. He could be a good alpha to an omega. He was also weaker than he thought. If you had told him four months ago a little omega he was still getting to know could bring him to his knees so quickly he would’ve told you to fuck off.

His sad scent was seeping into you, softening the chilled edges of your heart. He was regretful, you could tell. You relaxed into him causing him a sigh of relief. “I love you,” he murmured. You didn't say it back and he didn't expect you to. “So much,” he continued.

“You didn't mean it, John,” you replied softly, your hand resting against his back. You may have forgiven, but you weren't going to forget so easily. He could tell by your tone. You could get in your head so easily. He supposed he could too. He pressed a kiss against your cheek, finally letting you go. You remained against him for a moment, before pulling away. He stayed solemn as he grabbed the containers off your desk, heading back towards the door. He paused by the door, resisting the urge to beg you to let him stay. To let him curl himself around you and make everything better. He settled for a quiet ‘goodnight’ the door shutting behind him.

He wasn't sure how you'd take the information. He couldn't imagine you’d be happy- he prayed you wouldn't be. That would be the ultimate jab.

“Sweetheart,” He greeted. You looked up from your phone, offering him a small smile. Things had been awkward between the two of you- not that you had had much contact since last night.

“We have a new assignment. Me and Kyle leave in two hours,” He explained. When your face fell he was relieved. What if you were just sad for Kyle? He chewed back the thought.

“How long will you be gone?” You questioned.

“Shouldn't be more than a week. It’s a fairly easy one,” he sighed. It was silent for a moment. You leaned forward, wrapping your arms around his broad shoulders.

“I’ll miss you,” you breathed. You started to pull away but he held you there. He just needed a moment longer.

When you saw Kyle you nearly tackled him over, your face smushing against his. He tried not to take it personally. You were still hurt. Feeling like you were second best and unwanted. He had to understand that. He was trying to understand that. Hopefully, his being gone will soften you.

“Come on pups, time for your walks,” Simon spoke, grabbing a pack of cigarettes off the counter and his mask. Vernie had learned that whenever Simon grabbed his cigarettes it was time for a walk. She wormed her way out of your lap, bounding over to the door. Simon attached her leash holding it out for you. It was dark out. The night sky making you think of your first kiss- then John.

You three walked along a walking path, Simon making sure to put himself between you and groups of jogging soldiers.

“Simon?” you asked. He grunted in response.

“How did you get over me not putting you down as my alpha? That must've felt like a rejection,” you questioned. While they weren't entirely in the same situation, you felt maybe Simon could offer you some advice.

“It did,” he replied bluntly. “But then I realized I hadn't been acting too alpha-ish to you. Then you heard me say all that bullshit that night so I didn't have any room to be upset at you anymore,” he explained, guiding you off to the side. He pulled out his cigarettes, rolling his mask up to his nose. You bit back a giggle. “I’m still surprised you weren't more upset about it,” he sighed. “At least not that you've shown.”

You would still think about his words- less and less over the past few weeks. You don't know why but they didn't burn you as much as John's actions had. Maybe it was because your feelings were stronger for John? Or maybe it was because you knew deep down Simon didn't mean it. But John's actions had confirmed a belief you had about not being good enough. You gasped softly. That was it.

“Confirmation bias,” you gasped. Simon narrowed his eyes at you. “John didn't think I was good enough to be in the pack- and I had already felt that way. That's why it still hurts so bad,” you explained your thought process.

“You need to get that out of your head,” Simon spoke. “It wasn't like we all sat around and discussed every omega and came to the conclusion someone was a better fit than another. The old man probably didn't even have his glasses on when he was skimming through the profiles,” Simon huffed. He knew his Captain. Every decision he made was well thought out and concise. If he had really wanted to pick an omega he would’ve interviewed each of you himself, made you fill out a ten-page survey, and discuss it with each member of the pack individually. Also, Laswell had sent the papers electronically, he had just printed off a copy to mess with. Probably after a rough mission and one too many whiskeys. The rest of your sentence finally hit him. “What do you mean not good enough?”

“Well, I mean you know,” you started, shrugging.

“No, I don't bloody know. That's why I'm asking,” he shot back.

“Kate has always said what an indispensable and vital pack you are. That's all anyone here talks about. Omegas come up to me all the time and ask what it's like to be a part of this pack, or how I got into this pack. Nobody believes I got in by just being myself,” you explained.

“They don't know you then,” he snapped. “Then they'd be askin’ why we were daft enough to go so long without you,” he pressed the rest of his cigarette out, grabbing another from the pack.

“Simon?”

“Yes, pup,” he sighed.

“Kiss me?”

He paused the cigarette still hanging between his lips, the flame just a few centimeters away. “What?” he asked out of the corner of his mouth.

“Please?” you breathed. Your hands reached out gripping the front of his jacket. His heart hammered in his chest, your eyes staring up at him wide and wanting. His hands covered yours, not making any move to push them off. He couldn't break himself away, his eyes holding yours as his head lowered. He stopped right in front of you, his lips brushing against yours. You stared back equally enthralled. You closed the distance, your eyes fluttering shut, as you pressed your mouth against his. He reciprocated instantly, pushing his head forward to deepen this kiss. Your hands moved up to hold his jaw and he quickly grabbed the leash from you not wanting it to get in the way of you touching him. Your hands cupped his face, pulling him impossibly closer, gasping when his teeth nipped your bottom lip. He smirked against you and you had half a mind to pull away as punishment until he backed you against a tree. You gasped his name, making him groan against you, his hands digging into the fabric around your hips.

He hoisted you up, his neck already growing sore. His kisses were exactly like your relationship with him. Starting off sweet, then a battle of teeth and tongue, then back to sweet before you could decide which one you liked best. You pulled away with a deep inhale, your lungs burning from forgetting to breathe. He ‘tsked’ softly, pressing kisses against your jaw.

“Don’t know how he didn't mark you, sweet girl. I'd be sinking my jaws into you the moment you’re under me,” he mumbled, his teeth nipping against your neck in emphasis. You moaned quietly, making him smile. He pressed one last kiss against your neck, setting you back down on wobbly feet. “Don’t look at me like that, pup. We’re in public,” he reprimanded playfully, handing you back Vernie’s leash. “Besides I’m not done playing hard to get,” he chuckled. Your phone buzzed in your pocket making you jolt. You pulled it out, seeing John’s number, pressing the red button before you really thought about it.

“The fuck was that?” he growled. “Call him back,” he urged. You quickly did as you were told, not quite sure why you had done that in the first place.

He answered immediately.

“I’m sorry,” you apologized quickly.

“S’alright. Just figured you weren't in the mood to talk, pretty,” he cleared his throat. You wondered how much he had hurt in those seconds you denied his call. “Just wanted to let you know me and Kyle are where we’re supposed to be.” he explained.

“Good. Good,” you replied softly. You were quiet for a moment. “John, I love you. You know that right?” you breathed. You heard him inhale sharply on the other line, before clearing his throat again. You could feel yours constrict as well.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” He breathed back. He needed that. He needed to know you weren't back home stewing at him. “I love you and I’ll talk to you soon, yeah?”

“I’ll be waiting,” you responded, your eyes blurring at the tightness in his voice. “Bye.”

“Bye, pretty girl.”

You buried your face in Simon’s chest, wrapping your arms around him as you cried lowly. You wished John was back, so you could curl up in his arms again. You wished you hadn't given him the cold shoulder before he left. What if something happened while he was away and your last physical interaction was you worming your way out of a hug? His hug.

“Easy, pup,” Simon soothed. His hands smoothing over your back. He wanted to scold you for not answering the first time. He could only imagine how John was feeling after being shipped away while not on the best terms with you. It was hard enough when you were on good terms. “Need a cigarette?” Simon questioned making you chuckle after your crying had slowed. You shook your head softly. He kept an arm around you, beginning the trek back home. “Don’t worry about it, pup. You've got a lot on your mind. Sometimes people do things without meaning harmful intent,” he soothed. You caught the double meaning of his words, and you pressed yourself closer.

“Simon. What would happen if something were to happen to you out there and you couldn't be sent back to base?”

He sucked in air through his teeth.

“Well we would get to the safest spot we could and try to be fixed up enough to be sent back here,” he explained.

“What if you couldn't though? Be sent back here?” you pressed.

“What would you want to happen?” he questioned. He didn't want to put ideas out there you weren't comfortable with. The easiest way to get the answer you wanted was by making you say it yourself.

“I’d want to be sent to where you were. No matter where it is or how dangerous it is. I'd want to be with you,” you nearly demanded.

“That's why you were paired with us, pup,” Simon smirked. “You’re just as brave and stupid as the rest of us.”

Hi friends! See you in three days for chapter 26! 🧡

[take-everything-you-can]

Put Your Head On My Shoulder

Part 1 l Part 2 l Part 3 l Part 4 l Part 5 l Part 6

A/N: This has been a year in the making and it is finally here. Thank you to every single one of you, I truly think this would have been dust in the wind if I didn't have the support of all of you. A special thanks to my loves @lesservillain , @ghost-proofbaby , @hellfire--cult and @keeryhours for beta reading and letting me talk to you of any and all ideas before I put pen to paper (finger to key) P.S : THIS STORY IS 18+ MINORS NEED TO GTFO PLEASE AND THANK YOU !!!!! Also please remember to like and reblog from your creators It keeps the fandom alive !!! ( honestly don't know what I would do without y'all )

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Female Reader ( Pumpkin )

Summary: A 1950's daydream of malt shop kisses and doo wop singles far behind closed doors. Dreamboat Eddie Munson picks up more than just an extra route. A love that makes you weak in the knees... but how long can you go on loving a man that isn't the one you're married to.

TW: Angst- mentions of an affair (adultery), verbal abuse mentions, (mentions of food within the story throughout), disordered eating, feeling unloved, self-deprecation slightly, staying with toxic partner, depressive episode, throwing things and tears. Fluff- pet names, domestic bliss, mutual pining, sweet talk, caring in silence. Smut- fingering, female oral, soft touches, male oral, unprotected PIV, cream pie. ...... if you see any please let me know ... Thank you all so much. ( every chapter will get updated tw)

WC: 6.3K

The heavy tread heading down the stairs wakes you up yet again—an alarm clock of sorts in how Jason goes about his daily routine.��

Although sleep had never found you the night before, your mind raced with thoughts of sweet words, and your body craved the way his fingers sent jolts of electricity through your veins. Like a live wire to settle in the water, unsuspecting and fatal. 

Today was Eddie's day. A day you wouldn't have to pretend to be excited for. One you could lock away the burden and let the hope free, if only for a few hours. Even if at the end of the day you were going to have to slash and slice and mold that hope back into its box. Locking it down once again, securing it once more, like it should be. Right beneath your rib cage, tucked gently behind your lungs. 

Every time you let it see the light of day it grows. Gravitational pull into his smile, like sunflowers to the sun. You let it fester and take root. You let it grow around your heart for a day. Let it break apart old vines that decayed long ago. If only for a day. 

A morning like any other and still your heart flutters with knowing what the birds and breeze will bring with them. A glimpse in the mirror and your entire world shatters. The bone tiredness is evident on your face. Deathly hollow shadows where Eddie likes to see evidence of life. Pale lips, dried with the constant nag of picking. A habit of holding your tongue. Blemishes where it was smooth the day before, even the night before, just right before dinner. Evidence of the longing and loneliness.

Eddie can't see you like this. He can't! You won't let him. But the longer you look the longer your care seems to fold. Fading like a light that stubbornly won't go out, one that flickers and blips as if it's trying to reach out in Morse code. An S.O.S. One Eddie would be able to cipher but would send Jason into a fit of rage. 

You dress in a simple silk robe, over your shorter nightgown, a soft pink one you claimed you got from the department store when Jason questioned its origin. A lie that rolled off your tongue easily. The truth was Eddie had bought it for you and you had refuted it at first. You couldn't accept that. That was cold hard Evidence of the sins you had committed.

 Couldn't have that in the same house your husband was to come home to every day, but at that point in time Jason had already started staying down the hall. He had packed the majority of the room you had shared and taken it and put two doors in between the both of you. Eddie had convinced you to take it, to tuck it away for days you needed him and he couldn’t come to you. A thought that pestered and ate away at the walls of your memory. Made you turn down halls of darkness in your mind. 

Depression had taken your hand at the age of sixteen and it had never quite let you go, it was a mole that showed up one day, and you barely noticed it until one day someone dared to point it out to you. A subtle sadness that never quite lets you catch your breath. You thought marrying Jason would make the sadness take its leave, that it had finally left, and good riddance you thought, but you were wrong. 

Marrying Jason was just a temporary solution, and it never felt right. It would seep back into your mind and body. Days where getting out of bed was so exhausting you never even rolled over. Days where you thought of setting everything in the house on fire just to not wash the remnants of breakfast down the sink. You close your eyes and say a silent prayer that it doesn't last too long this time. 

You take a coal stick, smudge the water lines of your eyes, and take a brush to your hair. Sighing when the flatness wins over the battle in your head of trying to figure out if curlers are worth it today or not. They are not. A small amount of blush to your cheeks and a soft tint of gloss to your lips so that you stop trying to bite through them. 

Jason is already seated and drinking a cup of coffee at the small kitchen table as you make your way to the fridge. You take out the eggs and a block of cheddar cheese. A small frying pan sits idle on the stove, everything in its place to Jason’s liking. Knowing he’s been waiting for you to make him breakfast brings the smallest flicker of joy.

 ‘Thats Right wait mother fucker, starve for all I care’

 The thought runs through your mind as you crack the eggs in the pan and shred the cheese to add to his omelet. The same one you’ve made every day since you've been married. Some days he would leave extra early for work and you’d only have to make something to sustain yourself, oh how you favored those days. 

You plate his food and set it down in front of him, pouring the last of the milk into a glass before settling down into the chair across from him. Barely looking up from his paper, he picks up the fork to his left and takes a bite. The fork scraping the plate grates your nerves, but falling against the porcelain plate makes you jump at the sound. 

“What Happened?”  He glares across the table at you and you shrink into yourself.

“A shell. You obviously weren't paying any attention when you were cooking and of course, I bit into a damn shell. Can you do anything right?”

“You know you could have made your breakfast yourself, although you’d still probably find shells since you've never cracked an egg in your life.” Jason stood up from his chair, a scoff coming from the back of his throat. You hold back the urge to laugh, to be hateful beyond repair. You wouldn’t sink to his level, no matter how badly you wanted to.

“You think you’d at least be half good at something by now but yet here we are, right?” 

You sat there quietly. You would not cry, the tears stung the corners of your eyes but not yet. You listened as Jason picked up his briefcase, threw on his jacket, and stood as he opened the door, barely hearing him as he left he stated he would be home late for dinner. A rare occasion to even let you know but it meant more time. More time with Eddie, more time with yourself. You look across the table and pick up the plate with the omelet throwing its remains in the garbage, scraping the disappointment off and on two steps towards the sink you feel the tear fall. The frustration and hatred you knew too well as a weakness. 

Shards and bits of porcelain fly across the room as you throw the plate against the farthest wall. A sob falls out of your lips before you let yourself fall to the floor next to the sink. You let yourself cry for a moment, finding solace in the fact that your mother and hers before her went through this exact feeling. An ancient call from within to wipe the tears that had shed and to straighten up before anyone could see, but you were so tired of not letting them see, of hiding away. 

A record plays, and a soft slow song bellows throughout the room. Fitzgerald and her jazz soothed the rough edges of the morning down. Letting your mind wander off as she sang about dreaming little dreams. The blanket is half thrown across your lap along with a book to your right, sitting on the cushion next to you, thinking of reading at least one page but your hands fail to move an inch toward the spine of the well-worn novel. 

A small hideaway in your home a secret room in which Jason rarely ever steps foot in. His old study, the one he had to have and never used, sat filled with your things and your things alone. Jason was never one for books or music. He would pester you on how you could waste money on things like a new book, because why would a woman of the house need to know these things? He never liked the melodies that floated through the house, it needed to be silent so he could think straight, and many many other things he had told you over the years.

A rough knock on the door had you falling back into the real world, looking at the giant clock Jason had insisted be put up, it was noon. Eddie was finished with his route and no doubt was making his last stop of the day. You stumbled up from off the couch and slowly made your way to the front door, taking a heavy breath before opening it. The only thing that grounded you before he took it away. His uniform was in pristine condition, as always, and he stood tall with his smile dimpling at each end. 

“Fine day out, ain’t it miss?”  He took one good look at you and the smile fell from his lips as you looked up from under the hair that had fallen in your face. 

“A fine day indeed.” but your tone lacked its usual shine. He had seen you like this a handful of times and each time he hoped would be the last. He could see the lines of stress eating away at your features, how your brows stayed knitted together as if tied, how your lips had been bitten and not by him, but by the nervousness of holding your tongue.  

He looked worried and it made you want to crawl into yourself and die. To make him have that look on his face, one that meant he cared for you when you knew this was only skin deep. What he would give for you to know that it isn’t. 

You stepped back as he took the milk straight into the kitchen and began putting it away like he did every Tuesday, and you went back into the study. Eddie was a smart guy. It wouldn’t take him long to find you, especially since the last time you were like this he found you in the same place. The only thing that had changed was that now he knew not to startle you, knew that too many questions would overwhelm you. Knew that if the record was over you would let it play and scratch away at the silence instead of getting up to place a new one down. He would usually sit next to you and wait until you were ready to talk to him, like you were a stray animal and he held out a hand of food to you. A scared little thing. 

Instead, he leaned against the doorway and watched as you placed your blanket back over your lap and waited until you patted the seat next to you, wanting him to come and sit close to you.  You could feel the heat radiating off of him as if he were a fire-burning stove, the chill that reached bone-deep made you want to reach out and play with the coals. Like a child that was yelled at by their mother for touching the stove, you were hesitant but he let you take his hand. 

“How are you pumpkin?” a small question, yet you could feel the fresh wave of tears. How much care he had put in a simple question. 

“I’m good,” you said trying to smile as softly as you could,” How are you eds?”  He sat quietly for a second wondering if he should answer honestly or not. He took his time trying to think of what to say. He took his other hand, the one not holding yours, and caressed the side of your face. 

“I’m doing okay baby, but you most certainly are not.” Before you could argue he held his thumb to your lips.”I can’t stand seeing the sadness in your eyes, the fact that you’ll barely look at me.” You held eye contact, and now his big brown eyes bore into your soul. “ It’s not okay that you’re not okay.” You could feel the hot warmth of his hand now releasing yours to hold the other side of your face. He kissed you gently before bringing your face to his chest and he let you cry. He let you sob and rinse away all of what the morning and the days away from him had brought. He let you grieve for something that would never happen. He let you find that feeling was never your weakness, it was your strength. 

He rubs your back in soothing circles and when the clock strikes two you realize that the tears are now dried and he is still here. He didn’t leave you to fight your invisible monster alone. If anything, he stood ten toes behind you with shield and sword, daring another self-hated thought to pass him by. 

“Jason will be late tonight,” You say aloud, unsure if it’s to remind yourself or to let Eddie know. A simple hum is all he gives you as you lean back away from his hold to see his face. Just wanting to see if there is any sense of worry etched in his features instead, you find the hint of a smile. 

“What time do you expect him home?” he asks as his face comes close and rests it against your shoulder. 

“Around seven or so…” You nudge him with your elbow, a soft hit to the stomach and he lets out a low laugh, one you have desired to hear for days. In an instant and a sudden shriek from your lips, you find yourself laid back against the couch, eddies got your hands pinned beneath his chest as he leans into you. 

“That gives us plenty of time then Pumpkin.” You huff out a sigh trying to blow the hair that had fallen into your eyes. 

“Plenty of time for what eds?” instead of answering you he gives your lips a gentle peck and he slithers and writhes his way down the front of your body, mapping his way down your chest and kissing you right above where he believes your navel to be. Wishing he would just take and rip the cotton that covers you, but he is slow and he is sure. He lifts the nightgown to find that you had left your underwear safely in its drawer last night instead of putting a pair on. A sight that has him groaning into the gown he has bunched up in his fist. 

“So pretty, so perfect aren’t you?” You began squirming away from his question and he doesn’t like that all too much. He grips your hips and flattens his tongue across the mound of your pussy, teasing in the worst ways. “Come on, you know what I need to hear honey.” He licks a stripe through your folds and sets his chin against the top part of your thigh, waiting for you to give him what he wants. 

“I can’t Eddie, you know I can’t.” he scoffs and laughs mocking you and the tone you use. 

“Now I know that's just not true. You’ve done it before you can do it again.” He dips his tongue against your clit swirling and sucking until you buck your hips up toward him.  “It’s one simple phrase baby. You can say it, come on.” He pleads asking you to do this one thing and you can have everything he can offer. 

“ Eddie I need it, Please baby I just.. Please.” 

“Begging will not help you, although I love to hear it. You know that's not what I meant.” You feel him huff out a long sigh, annoyance you know is just in the vein of the game he wants you to play with him. 

“I’m per-” You had thrown your arm across your face in the hope of muffling the embarrassment of saying something you knew was a lie.

“I’m sorry. What was that Sweetheart?” he tugged at the bend in your arm until it fell away and rested in the soft curls he had let fall throughout his day. Scratching the stress away letting your nails have him melting into you, the words slip from your lips. 

“I’m perfect.” he smiles and kisses the side of your thigh. A small token of what is to come.

“Just the way you are?” You look down, eyes taking in the small golden fleck within his, and nod. You see the way it brightens his entire aura. Like the sun was coming from within instead of just peeking through the curtained windows. “Words please.” 

“Just the way I am.” You give in, you can ask a higher power for forgiveness later, lying the way you are. He takes your breath with how skillfully his tongue moves. Sucking and teasing in the best way imaginable. You take and grip his hair in your fist and he moans into your cunt as he dips two fingers in and hits that spot that has you seeing white. He feasts like a man who is starved to the brink of death. Letting his saliva mix with the slick that pours out of you, his favorite flavor on his tongue as you arch your back up off of the couch. Letting your head dangle off the edge and your hand keeping his face tight against you so his mouth can work with his fingers. You reach absolute bliss until his name leaves your throat scratchy.

 He licks the proof of that bliss off his lips and offers you the fingers that were once deep inside your walls. Taking them to the hilt you taste the heady mix of the hard work he had put in and it sent you to a floaty place. A place where you felt like you had your head in the clouds like the words he spoke were far away, like they were trying to reach out and bring you back down to earth with each one.

“Baby, you still with me?” Eddie is holding your chin forward as he had come to lay down next to you, well your body is not mainly on top of his so he must have moved you so you wouldn’t fall off the edge.  You hum letting him know that you heard him and are too lost for words right now. He kisses your nose and brings his lips to yours licking his way past your teeth and you let out a laugh and end up in a fit of giggles. Eddie laughs brightly along with you but he still asks what had got you tickled in the first place, you decide to answer him honestly.

“You Eddie, just you.” He stares at you in awe his eyes tracing your features as if he is trying to commit them to memory. “You know that feeling of when you're riding a bike and you let your arms lift from the handlebars, you make me feel like that.”

“Incredibly dangerous?” He asks with a sliver of teasing. You laugh at him and put your arms around his neck bringing him down to kiss you. 

“Free. You make me feel free Eddie Munson.”  He kisses you deeply and you start to trail pecks down his neck, and below his ear, you hear his breathing catch. You try to sit up and Eddie pulls you back down next to him. You try again and this time he lets you get situated however you like, although he is not expecting you to settle in between his legs. 

“What are you doing hun?” He asks kindly as his hand finds your face as you look down at him. 

“Want to make you feel good too baby.” You had begun slipping his belt through the loops in his pants and he lifts so you can slide it through the ones he sitting on. You know you don’t have to return the favor, he has told you that every time you’d tried before but how could you not? 

He was too good a man for you not to want to give him just as much pleasure if not more than he had given you. Too pure in his sinful ways. His zipper came down and as you reached for him, Eddie stopped you. 

“You don’t have to-”

“I want to.” You make sure he knows by the look in your eyes that you mean it. “Do you- do you not want me to?” feeling that flicker of self-doubt rattles the bars of its enclosure from within. 

“Of course, I want you too, fuck I don’t think you understand that it's not even a want at this point, it’s a need baby.” You smile shyly but the thought that you are not his only one filters through. He lifts your chin with a finger to get you to look him in the eye. “What’s going on? What’s wrong?” 

You can feel the tears start to sting again and one betrays you sliding down your cheek and hitting eddies wrist with the fall. You want to know if this is more than just a simple fling if it’s just something he can throw away easily. You want to know if his heart is as in it as yours is, need to know. You need to be brave, even if the answer isn’t one you want to hear. 

“ Do you care for me, Eddie ?” He looks confused, eyebrows almost touching. 

“You know I do.” he is quiet, thinking of a way to express the way you make him feel. There is only one thing he can think of that will prove it to you. A small and powerful phrase, one he had never said to another person and meant so wholly. “I Love You.” 

“You must say that to every one of us huh?” Now it's his turn for his brows to meet.

“Who?” 

“All of us women Eddie I can’t be the only one.” 

“What are you talking about? I have been with you the entire time I've been in Hawkins. Only You! I’ve never told anyone I’d loved them before you darling.”

Did you believe him? You would have to take that chance, you just had to. One day you would have a drawn-out, long conversation about it, but for now, you just had to go for it. 

You stood up from the couch in shock. He loved you, no he loves you as in right now. This feeling that flows between you is current. Eddie Munson loves you. You turn towards him and he is starting to look worried. Did you not care for him in return? Was this just a fuck to you and nothing else? He couldn’t stop kicking himself for putting his foot in his mouth, he should have just stayed quiet, but you stopped him from thinking any further. You drop to your knees in between his legs that had spread to accommodate you. 

“Baby come here.” he tries to get you up off the floor but you want to taste him first so you reach for the waist of his coveralls and pull them until he lifts and lets you pull his suit down enough to reach his briefs. You lay your head against his thigh as you trace your way up his other leg with your other hand gently grasping the bulge that you had now come to face. You rub your face against his lap with need, wanting to taste it had you leave a trail of open mouth kisses from the edge of his clothed tip up until you reach the the waistband. 

You slip him out of his briefs with a heavy slap to his stomach letting the trail of precome he had created, watching as if left a small puddle against the happy trail he had leading to glory. You dip your tongue into it letting it coat the tastebuds and moan at the flavor that you had come to know as all Eddie. 

You take his tip and suck the head of his cock letting it settle on your tongue, its weight and movement, small twitches of knowing you are turning him on more and more. His large hand comes to rest on the top of your head weaving his fingers into the hair, pulling gently to coax a rhythm of movement.

 You start to bob up and down on his length and you hear him huff out a guttural sigh from above you. Letting himself get lost in the warmth of your mouth and feeling your tongue against the underside of his dick. He can feel the burn in the lower part of his stomach starting to rage war with his mind, the decision of letting you finish or to stop you. 

You make that decision for him as you feel his hand pause in its movements. You lift off of his length and turn to look up at him with your gaze, he is focused on the coal that had smudged from tears running down your face. He lifts you by your arms and has you straddle his lap, an easy lift that had you yelping at how fast he moved. He began kissing every surface of your face that he could reach, giggling at the action of his lips covering your entire eye, and in another move he caught your ear, one more and he had nipped the tip of your nose. 

“I love you Eds.”  He leaned back and the smile that broke out on his face could have lit Times Square with how bright it was. He kissed you with that smile, more teeth than tongue and you loved him. More than anything, you loved him. 

He started to bite his way across your jaw as you started rocking your hips gently into his. One hand had taken residence behind your neck and the other was gripping your hip to help you slide comfortably in his lap. His cock slid between your folds hitting your clit in the most delicious teasing way.

“Need you.” Without hesitation, he slid his cock through the wetness he had created just one more time groaning at the feeling, letting you take hold of him, and guiding him to your entrance. Lifting your hips and lowering yourself onto him and moaning out together at the feeling. Him from just how tight you were squeezing him, you from how stretched out he could make you feel. 

“Fuckkk you’re amazing. Perfect for me always, aren’t you?” You start to bounce once the stretch isn’t taking your breath away letting his hips meet yours with a sinful sound of of wet you were, having him continue to mouth incoherent babbles. 

“God Eddie need you to fill me up, give me every last drop.” 

“Jesus, you’re doing so good for me baby, just right, yeah just like that.” He was gripping you so hard you knew that you were going to have small yellow indentions forming within the next few hours, little gifts of your time together. You knew he was close by the way his breathing kept catching in his throat, wanting to tear out of him like a muted scream. He leaned back letting his head rest against the back of the couch as you rode him, kissing up his neck until you were in his ear.

“Love you, my pretty boy.” As soon as his brain lets him process the words that left your mouth, he is shooting rope after rope of white into you and you feel the way he tries to fuck it as deep as it will go, wanting it to live in you, a piece of him. 

“I love you more Pumpkin.” You let him catch his breath and you let out a small giggle of ecstasy.  He kisses you hard on the cheek as his laugh starts to join in a symphony of joy and it makes you want to dance. 

He sets you on the couch next to him and he gets up only to turn to you and tell you he will only be just a minute. Thoughts of him spread the vines around your ribs, daring you to pull them out one by one this time. Begging you to not let you starve them for sunlight and water, to not have them wilt when he leaves this time. 

He comes back into the room with a warm wet cloth and makes you stand as he takes a knee. A sight that makes your heart squeeze in a whole different way. He wipes you clean of anything that starts to drip out of you and down your thighs, making sure you are as comfortable as possible before standing and kissing you softly. 

“You okay?” All you can do is smile, the kind that has your cheeks hurting from how wide it stretches. He takes and drapes your robe across your shoulders from where you had let it fall.

“I’m good, better than good, thank you, Eddie.” He watches as you start to move across the room and reach up on a high shelf to grab a record. Placing it down and pinning the needle to the first groove the sounds of Sam Cooke start to float through the air and surround you both. You turn to Eddie and he sees that you had an outreached hand, waiting for him to take it. 

Pulling you to him as he grasps and twists your fingers until they fit snuggly in between his own, he has his other arm around your waist as you sway back and forth as the lyrics make you want to manifest them into something real. 

‘ I know I laughed when you left

But now I know I only hurt myself

Baby, bring it to me

Bring your sweet loving

Bring it on home to me ‘  

God how you feel the words worm their way into your brain like it's the only true thing like Sam had gone through and lived your life for you. A dreaded feeling to know someone somewhere out there could feel this deeply about another the way you do for Eddie. Quite impossible if you do say so yourself. You lay your head on Eddie's chest and dance slowly as the song begins to fade and another starts in its place, and you stay that way for quite some time, right up until the bell of the clock above you chimes. 

The time for Eddie to leave had come and all you could do was grip him tighter. You couldn't let him go, not yet, not so soon. Not after he had finally let you know his feelings after you had finally let yourself give in. Not yet. You could feel his lips press to your forehead and they just stayed there, that stinging sensation coming to your eyes once again. 

“I don't want you to leave.” It was muffled by his shirt but he heard you, he wrapped you in a hug gripping you as tight as he could, like the act would morph you into one being so he could carry you with him right out that door. A punch to the gut when you could feel his arms start to ease up from their hold. 

“I have to sweetheart, you know I do. I’m sorry baby, you know I hate to leave you.”  You did now, know that his words were true. Every time he had left before you didn’t let yourself believe them, how could you when the hurt would be tenfold if you had? The dread of what was to come through the night had you swiping the corner of your eyes against the edge of his collar. 

“Makes it even harder when I know you are feeling the same pain and having no one to comfort you through it through love.” He hums in thought.

“Do you let Jason comfort you through your pain?” You laugh wetly at the question but when you look up to see Eddie's face his smile is flat and his eyes are pleading to hear something akin to a denial. 

“Eddie, Absolutely not. I know I’m married to the man but do you think once I started having feelings for you, true feelings, deep feelings that I would have given myself to anyone else other than you?”  He gives you a look of complete understanding, He felt the same way. Ever since that first time, you let him see past the curtains and you fed him that lemon bar you had made by hand, he knew he was a goner, a fucking goner. 

He knew he would have a hard time with a crush but then he got to know you, got to taste you and he was utterly hooked for the rest of his life, or until the fateful day you would tell him that you just couldn't see him any longer. He looked down at you now and he kissed your forehead letting his lips rest thereafter and closed his eyes feeling all he could before he was to walk out of your door for another week. 

You let him hold you close, smelling that smokey wood blend mixed with something sweet, his cologne mixed with a laundry detergent you were sure you had seen on the bottom shelf at the store too scared to buy in case Jason didn't like the scent. You inhaled and slowly let your arms loosen, his sign that you could let him walk out the door without absolutely breaking you. Little did he know you had already started to crumble, the door would send the pillars of your composure flying, like a sand castle with no structural integrity, All sand and give. 

“One week, You can wait for me, right sweetheart? “ You nodded through the numbness that was starting to overtake your limbs. 

“I can wait a week Eds.”  You had walked him to the back door, his normal escape route and you watched his hand grip and hesitate in its turn of the knob. He turned to face you once more, he rushed to your side and gripped you close to his chest one last time, kissing you deeply trying to convey all he could. 

“I love you, sweet girl.”He walked back towards the door your hand in his barely touching with his reach out at full extent. 

“I love you more baby.” He turned on that mega-watt bright smile before he was out of the door and your hand had fallen back down to your side, cold and unnerving in the silence that followed. 

You walked back towards and into the study, taking all the records and placing them back into their rightful homes on the shelves. Letting the tears fall wherever they wanted, streaming and leaving you a mess. You worked through it, you cleaned the study up the rest of the way. Fluffing pillows, taking the blanket, and wrapping it around your shoulders still smelled faintly of Eddie. 

Walking to the kitchen you poured yourself a glass of wine and drank it all down in one go, not even a thought before pouring just one more and repeating. You also knew that if Eddie were there he would no doubt be upset that you had decided to drink without even attempting to put anything in your stomach so you made a small sandwich and took it wrapped in a cloth upstairs. 

You eat the sandwich, more like you nibbled like a rabbit but at least you knew Eddie would be proud that you tried. You stood and walked into your bathroom, ran some warm water in the sink, and took a rag to your face to get rid of all the bad parts of the day, rubbing your skin until it was stinging and irritated by the material. The tears still threatening to fall but you crawled into bed so that your pillow could catch them instead of your cheeks. 

A clock somewhere downstairs had chimed that it was past eight in the evening and Jason had yet to come wandering through the door, when it chimed a little later past ten you heard a soft knock at the door and you shut your eyes to the dark room. Listening and hoping he would just go on into his room, he opened your door you could tell by the sound but he whispered to you sitting on the edge of your bed, sadness in his voice, 

“I’m sorry I’ve come in so late.” You wouldn’t let him disturb you. “I- I am, I know I say that pretty often now but I do mean it darling.” the words felt like they were poison, tainted, and disgusting coming from someone other than Eddie. 

“I’ll leave you to your sleep then.” his hand patted the bed beside you and only when you heard the door shut behind him and he did the same down the hall, did you finally let it all out. Silently you wished upon whatever and whoever was listening to your prayers for what to do.

[kkami-writes]

waiting for us ― a skz social media au.

pairing. OT8 x fem!reader synopsis. At age 16 you either get your soul mark (in the form of your soulmates name somewhere on your body) or you become a blank, someone who doesn't have a soulmate. You've long lost any semblance of hope or comfort in the magic of soulmates, despite the fact that you have 8 of them. genre. soulmate!au, college!au, social media!au + written parts, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, smut cw. swearing, mentions of sex, sexual innuendos, skz should be in horny jail, eventual smut (MDNI), domestic abuse, sexual assault/harassment, implied/referenced self-harm, suicidal tendencies/thoughts, implied/referenced past suicide attempt, male x male relationships (skz are soulmates), polyamory, kms/kys jokes, mentions of homophobia + transphobia, lots of written parts, reader is really bad at feelings, ulzzang pics (this is more so to focus on the fashion), appearance of junhao, yeji and hyunjin are siblings, more to be added status: complete! / taglist: CLOSED! wanna support my work? consider buying me a coffee.

yn's accounts | the boys chapter one. go to horny jail chapter two. sus chapter three. welcome home cheater chapter four. you come here often? chapter five. sk8er boi chapter six. just a coincidence chapter seven. soulmate tingle chapter eight. down bad chapter nine. avoidance chapter ten. feminine urges chapter eleven. the whole circus chapter twelve. fairy boy chapter thirteen. apologies chapter fourteen. simp behavior chapter fifteen. not slick chapter sixteen. scooby doo chapter seventeen. screwed over chapter eighteen. back off hoe chapter nineteen. the gig chapter twenty. the plan™ chapter twenty one. yn chapter twenty two. a chance chapter twenty three. good morning chapter twenty four. totally subtle chapter twenty five. opening up chapter twenty six. howls moving castle chapter twenty seven. a deal chapter twenty eight. girls daye chapter twenty nine. girl dinner chapter thirty. the clit chapter thirty one. knight in shining armor chapter thirty two. masterpieces chapter thirty three. #NPP chapter thirty four. beach episode chapter thirty five. in the rain chapter thirty six. rumours chapter thirty seven. laser tag chapter thirty eight. cat cafe chapter thirty nine. bruises chapter fourty. sunrise

waiting for us masterlist part 2!!!!

[lee-laurent]

Falling Fast - Luke Hughes

Summary: Luke and Tori finally realize how much they need each other. John starts to question if he can really ever get over Tori

content: fluff, LOTS OF FLUFF, slight angst, mentions of sex but no smut, money issues, oc x ex!john marino

wc: 2.2k

notes: PART 4 of the 'done trying' series! go check out parts 1-3 if you haven't already! this one is heavily tori and luke focused. not a lot of riley in this one. also some john moments. but mostly luke and tori!! my favs!!! ENJOY!!

The front door swung open, revealing an exhausted John. Riley was sitting on Tori's lap on the couch, Scooby Doo playing on the TV, a pacifier in his mouth. Tori didn't even look up at the sound of the door, continuing to stroke her son's hair. She'd finally got him settled, after having a meltdown over his bath. Finally dressed in his pjs and calm, Tori was not about to get up and ruin that. She was slightly aware of what had happened at practice thanks to a text from Luke. She wasn't mad at Luke, just John.

"Dada?" Riley mumbled, his eyes half closed.

"Yeah, bubba. Dada's home," Tori whispered back, pressing a kiss to the back of his head.

John entered the living room, leaving a cushion of space between himself and his ex-girlfriend. She didn't even look in his direction, focusing solely on the show playing on the TV. He sighed, earning Riley's attention.

"Dada has boo-boo!"

"Dada's okay, baby. I promise," John forced a smile.

"Hurt?"

"No, no, I'm okay, Ri. Dada just fell at work."

"O-tay," the toddler nodded, cuddling back into his mom's chest. Tori would never get over how compassionate Riley was. He cared about everyone so much, especially his parents. She looked at John through the corner of her eyes, noting the black eye that their son was concerned about.

"There are frozen peas in the freezer," was all she said, returning to humming along with the theme song.

"Thanks," John huffed, moving to the kitchen.

"You ready for bed, sleepy boy?"

Riley nodded, tucking his head into Tori's neck. She stood up, carrying him down the hall to his room. She hummed a lullaby, rocking him until his eyes finally closed. With a click of a button, white noise filled the room and Tori was finally able to breathe easy. At least for a second.

"Here," she frowned, shoving a blanket and pillow into John's arms.

"What?"

"For the couch. So it's a bit more comfortable."

"Oh. Uh, thanks?"

"Yeah. Whatever. If he sleeps all night tonight, feel free to move back out. And don't make a habit of beating up my boyfriend, that's not the model you should be setting for your son."

"Boyfriend?"

"That's all you got from that?" she rolled her eyes, filling up her water bottle.

"So, he's your boyfriend now?"

"Not officially."

"But in your head he is, huh? You really think he can fill that hole in your heart?"

She could feel the anger bubbling in her chest, but took a deep breath, not wanting to argue with Riley trying to sleep.

"Grow up."

John scoffed, "My parents are coming this weekend. Can Riley stay at mine?"

"Why can't they come here and see him?"

"Because they don't..."

"They don't like me. I get it. Sure. I'll pack his bag in the morning."

"Are you gonna go see Pop and Nanny?" Tori smiled, helping Riley put on his little backpack.

"Pop 'n Nanny!"

"Yes! Pop and Nanny! Can Mama have a hug goodbye?"

"Bye, Mama! 'Uv 'oo!"

"I love you too, baby! Be good for Dada!"

"I'll have him back here Monday morning?" John offered.

"Yeah, that works. See ya."

"Bye."

With John gone, Tori could actually breathe. She started by cleaning up Riley's room and then the living room. Making herself a cup of coffee and turning on her favourite movie, "Dead Poets Society." She'd invited Luke to stay the weekend, so now she was just waiting for his arrival.

"Miss me?" a voice rang through the apartment.

She pulled herself off the sofa, throwing her arms around the taller boy.

"Yeah. A lot. Let me see your lip," she pulled his face down closer to hers, inspecting his busted lip.

"You should see the other guy."

"I did. He looks worse," she shook her head, failing to hide her smirk. "I'm so sorry, babe. He shouldn't have gone after you like that."

"It's fine, V. He's just... getting over you. Slowly."

"Trust me, I know. Come sit, I missed cuddling you."

"What else did you miss about me?" he teased.

"Nothing. Just the cuddles. Although you'll always be second to Riley on the cuddle scale. He's a pro."

"I bet he is. How're you feeling about him being with John this weekend?"

"Way to tear the Band-Aid off, Hughes!"

"Sorry, sorry."

"No, I, uh... I don't know. It's fine, I guess. I know he's safe with John, I just... things with John are really shit right now. And I know he's gonna tell his parents and then things with them will get even more shit. It's such a snowball effect."

"You've got me. I'll support you, baby."

"Thanks, Lu," she nuzzled her nose against his, giving him a quick peck.

"I've been meaning to ask you something."

"Shoot."

"Well... we've been on a few dates now... and I, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to be my girlfriend?"

Tori hesitated, pretending to think over her answer, "Of course I'll be your girlfriend, Luke."

"Phew! You scared me for a second there."

"I just... I'm not sure how kindly John will take to that."

"Doesn't matter right now, love. We've got the whole weekend to ourselves. Where should we start?"

"Movie?"

"Movie it is."

"This is sad," Luke complained, shifting Tori on his lap.

"So? You made me watch Secretariat."

"I didn't make you watch anything."

"Whatever. You know what I meant. Also shut up."

"Never. We both know you secretly love hearing me yap."

"Meh."

"Don't lie, Tori. You could listen to me talk allllll day," he teased.

"Maybe. I'd rather listen to you than Jack... don't tell him I said that."

"HA! I won't... I won't. But seriously, this movie is so sad."

"It's a masterpiece, Lu. You just don't get it like I do."

"Guess I'm not woke like you."

"Shut up. This part is good."

"Why're they standing on the desks?"

"Stop asking questions!"

"I'm just a little lost, baby."

"They're standing in solidarity with their teacher."

"So they got on top of their desks? That'd get you a detention."

Tori leaned up, kissing him swiftly, "Shut up. And you'll get more of that."

"Deal," he smirked, watching the credits roll.

"You're taking up the whole bed," Luke complained, scooching away from the edge.

"No, I'm not."

"You totally are. You're half my size and taking up double the space."

"I'm comfy."

"I'm not."

"Boo fucking hoo."

"Babe," he whined.

"Fine," she moved over, laughing as Luke quickly pulled her in to spoon.

"You smell so good," he mumbled into her hair.

"Thanks, babe."

"You're like a fucking heater. I love it."

"Lu."

"Hm?"

"Shut up and sleep."

"Make me."

She shook her head, flipping over and straddling him. He smirked, his hands planted firmly on her hips.

"Hi."

"Hi, Lu," she leaned down, connecting their lips.

"I could kiss you forever."

"Then stop talking and kiss me."

"Yes, ma'am!"

Luke hated early mornings, in fact he was known for sleeping in. As a mom, Tori couldn't say she was the same. She was up every morning at 7 like clockwork. "Sleeping in" to her was waking up at 8. So as she lay staring at the ceiling, her boyfriend snoring next to her, she felt so useless. She needed to be up doing something. Cleaning. Making breakfast. Going on a walk. Taking a shower. Anything but this. She was accomplishing nothing!

"Luke."

Nothing.

"Luke," she shook him slightly. He just groaned, pulling her closer to him. She laughed, maybe she could sleep for a little bit longer.

Two hours later, she was awake again. This time thinking of ways she could convince Luke to get out of bed. She started by flipping in his arms, tracing her finger over his bare chest. He stirred, letting out a quiet hum. She traced her fingers over his abs, feeling the ridges under her fingertips. God, he was hot. He reached out, grabbing her wrist.

"Don't start something you can't finish," he mumbled, eyes still closed.

"Who said I wanted it to end," she giggled, his grip on her loosened. His eyes opening very slightly.

"I'm listening..."

"Well, I need a shower. And I thought... I don't know, maybe you'd like to join."

"Yeah?" he smirked.

"Mhm."

"Let's go."

"Let me under the water!" Tori complained, Luke's height blocking any of the warm water from hitting her bare body.

"But it's sooooo relaxing."

"Yeah? And I'm fucking freezing! Let me in!"

"Fine," he huffed, standing behind her. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against his front. She sighed contently, finally being able to embrace the warmth of the water. He slowly snuck his hand up her body, resting it to cup right under her breast.

"What're you doing, Lukey?"

"Enjoying the shower with my smoking hot girlfriend."

She giggled, a blush covering her face. She turned in his arms, kissing him passionately.

"Wanna finish what you started?" he teased.

"Gladly."

"What shampoo is it?" Luke asked, looking at all the bottles lining the wall.

"We're wasting water at this point. I don't have the money for this," Tori sighed worriedly.

"Are you... are you being sarcastic?"

"No, Luke. I'm not a loaded NHL player. Water costs money. We should just get out."

"Babe, shhh. All is well. I'll pay the extra amount on the water bill. I promise."

"You don't have to do that."

"I don't, you're right. But I want to. Now which bottle is the shampoo? I wanna give you a relaxing shampooing."

"It's the red one," she sighed, allowing Luke to run his hands through her hair. She needed this. The stress melted away as he massaged at her scalp, admiring the small hums that left her mouth.

"You're so pretty, Tori."

"Thanks, Lukey."

"Any time, baby. Now... for the body wash."

She let out a loud laugh, smacking her hand against his chest, "I can manage that part."

"Are you sure? Might be difficult."

"I've got it."

"Would you mind helping me?"

"Luke Hughes, you dog."

"What?! Can't help it when you're this fucking beautiful."

She blushed, "Thanks, Lu."

"That's what I'm here for. To make sure you know that you're the most important girl in the world."

The couple was laying on the couch, Tori running her hand through Luke's hair. He was watching some hockey thing on the TV that she didn't understand, occasionally pointing out details to her. Her phone started buzzing, a sigh leaving her mouth as she swiped to accept the call.

"Hello?"

"Victoria! How've you been, love?" her mother asked excitedly.

"Oh, um... okay. Just watching some TV."

"Where's my Riley?"

"At John's. His parents are in town. They wanted some time with him, I guess."

"Well, awfully rude of them to take him away from his mother. Especially when you were just fixing that sleep schedule of his."

"Mom, it's not-"

"Don't say it's not a big deal, Victoria! It is. They are so rude to you."

"Mom-"

"Let me finish! They never consider how you feel about things. I just... I wish they'd listen to you, dear."

"Mom, all is well. Riley loves spending time with his dad. And I get some much needed time to relax."

"That is nice, isn't it? Some much needed you time. Not you and Riley time."

"It's lovely. I'm just here with-"

"With Ally? Hi, Ally!"

"No, Mom!" Tori laughed, "Luke."

"Oh, Luke! How lovely! How is he?"

"He's good, he's good. Half asleep, but good."

"I can't believe you're finally dating again! Only took you over a year."

Tori rolled her eyes, "Yes, I know, Mom. Why'd you call?"

"Just wanted to check in. Make sure you're not too overwhelmed. See if you needed some money."

"We're actually doing alright, at the moment. I had enough to get Riley some extra snacks this week."

"Oh! Isn't that just wonderful! Remember if you ever need a few extra dollars..."

"I know, Mama. I love you."

"I love you, Vicky! Talk to you soon."

"Bye, Mom."

"Your mom seems nice," Luke commented, his voice muffled by Tori's shirt.

"Hm? Yeah, she's the best."

"I, uh, I didn't realize you were having... money problems."

"It's not something I enjoy talking about. John's child care is my saving grace most times. I just... I want Riley to have everything he needs."

"I-"

"Don't offer me any money, Hughes. I'll dump your ass right here, right now. I'm a strong, independent woman."

"Of course. I know you are, babe."

"Thanks for staying with me this weekend, Lu."

"Whenever you need it."

"How would you feel about formally spending some time with Riley?"

"Really?!" he sprung up, his eyes wide.

"Yeah. Why? Are- are you not ready for that?"

"No! No! I'm so ready! I just... are you ready?"

"I mean, I won't tell him you're my boyfriend. He won't understand that. But... I want him to meet you. Spend some time together. Cause... if you guys don't click... I don't know what I'd do."

"Well, let's set up a playdate!" Luke grinned, reassuringly rubbing her back.

"Okay, yeah. Let's do it."

God, how would John react when he found out Riley was spending time with Luke? Fingers-crossed that he won't overreact. Tori wasn't sure she could deal with anymore dramatic arguments with her ex. Guess she'd have to wait and see.

[wynnyfryd]

Trailer park Steve AU part 54 (12.1)

part 1 | part 53 | ao3

cw: angst

Chapter 12

Steve drives to Chicago.

He wakes up to an empty bed and a sticky note by the kitchen phone, words scribbled over so the only legible thing left is the word sorry underlined in jagged black, and his breath sticks in his chest and he can't be here anymore. Epiphany ringing like a gong, sending ripples through his marrow, because the walls are closing in and Eddie decorated those walls — splattered himself over every inch of this place, and now he's just the newest haunt in a line of ghosts that Steve can't shake. He thought he’d gotten rid of them, but now he hears them louder than ever. In the hiss of the faucet, in the buzz of the fridge; they’re moaning in his bad ear and rattling his bones, and he can't be here alone with them he can't be here he can't—

So he drives.

Gets in his car with nothing but a spare jacket and a crumpled pack of cigs. If ever there was a time to pick the habit up in earnest. Eddie’s van is gone, and Steve’s heart is bruised; it's bleeding out inside him, pumping fresh hurt with every beat, so he lights a cigarette with shaking hands and heads north. Takes the back roads to the on-ramp of I-65, drives for hours; drives for years, speeding down empty stretches of highway with nothing but roadkill for company.

At some point he rolls the windows down until the icy wind makes his cheeks burn, but he can't really feel them. Can't feel his face, or his fingers, or his heart.

All the world is snow and asphalt, and Steve Harrington is alone.

He tries to drown it out with music. The radio mocks him with swooning quartets love songs — 'put your head on my shoulder' and 'life could be a dream' — and all the tapes he can reach belong to Eddie, so he pulls over on the narrow shoulder of an overpass bridge and screams and screams and screams while he chucks the cassettes over the edge.

Fuck Eddie.

Fuck him.

"FUCK YOU!!" he shouts to the foggy nothingness.

The words dig in sharp; pocket knife twisting in the space below his kidneys.

The fog doesn't respond.

Back in the car, his thoughts turn to his mom. Because he's driving to her, he knows — knew it in his splintering bones and haunted blood the moment he left town. He's driving back to his first ghost, as if confronting the original will somehow exorcise the rest.

Miles pass in silence, and Steve paints over the canvas of what-ifs again and again, oily streaks in the underpainting as he tries to set the scenes just right: quiet, tearful confrontations in his aunt's formal living room, graceless screaming matches out on the front lawn. In one version he never makes it past the guard at the front gate, and in another he just eggs the stupid lion statues leading up to the house while his mom silently weeps from the top of the stairs.

He doesn't know if his mom would laugh at that.

He doesn't know her much at all.

And that fucking hurts; that sits like acid in his lungs, because his mom was his first friend. When he was little — before the housekeepers and nannies, before his mom started tailing his dad on business trips like a trained dog on a leash — they spent so much time together. Trips to the playground, to the library, to the pool. He'd perch himself on her vanity when she got ready in the mornings, use her hairbrush as a microphone to sing along to 50s doo-wop, and she'd giggle and call him her little superstar, so he'd come up with stupid dance moves just to make her smile more.

He misses that. The script, the routine. How he'd spin around in his socks on the slippery bathroom tile and look up at her with her big hair full of rollers and her big eyes full of stars, and he'd say, "Hey! How come your eyes are all twinkly?"

And she'd grin and pinch his cheek and give the same answer every time: "Because you're the light of my life."

"I wish I knew what you'd say now," he whispers to the empty car.

For a moment he envisions that she's sitting there with him, that she's filling the blank space where the boy who broke his heart should be, but he can't remember her cadence well enough to mimic it; can't put words in her mouth when he no longer knows her lines, and with something a bit like horror and a lot like despair it occurs to him that he can't remember what she looks like. There's an apparition in his blind spot, but it's formless and unstable. The shade of its hair keeps changing; the texture, the length.

When he tries to make it speak, it shrugs and dissipates.

—

part 55

tag list in separate reblogs under '#trailer park steve au taglist' if you'd like to filter that content. if you want to be added please comment and let me know (must be over 21; please either verify in the comment or have your age visible on your blog)

[mint-yooxgi]

Gunsmoke & Leather Prologue

Biker!AU - Part of the Gunsmoke & Leather Collab - With @kpop-stories-21 @anyamaris @pyeonghongrie @sanjoongie

@nebulousbrainsoup @stardragongalaxy and @yoonguurt

Genre: Mature, Angst, Fluff, Humour, Non-idol!AU

Pairing: Ateez X Reader - Prologue in Third Person, individual parts to follow

Words: 1,480

Rating: 18+ MDNI

Warnings: Allusion to kidnapping and supernatural occurrences. Mature themes.

A/n: *Insert laughing lizard gif here* As always feedback is greatly appreciated! Enjoy!~

Summary: Eight online friends meet in person for the first time and plan to have a wild weekend. However, things quickly go awry when they are kidnapped by a notorious biker gang. Hilarity, misadventures, and perhaps even feelings ensue.

Stars twinkle in the night sky above, the light of the full moon illuminating the pavement as an old microbus makes its was through the city. Peals of laughter can be heard from within, a chorus of eight voices shouting along to lyrics they all know by heart. Every so often, a streetlamp provides insight to wide smiles stretched across bright faces, most dancing in their seats or shaking their other friends lightly in excitement.

This trip was meticulously planned. Simply getting everyone’s schedules to line up was a pain, but as luck would have it, an opening seemed to appear for them all. Furious calls were made and messages sent to arrange the perfect getaway for these eight friends, excitement lingering in every voice to finally be able to spend some time with each other.

What better way to spend some quality time with friends than on a road trip?

Thus, a microbus was rented, bags were packed, and the meeting point was set. All that is left to do is make it to their hotel for the night, and pick right back up where they left off tomorrow.

“I still can’t believe you convinced that guy in the chicken costume to take a picture with us.” A large grin stretches across Elara’s features as all heads turn to look at Aurora.

“And it made for a good memory!” She beams, pulling out her phone to begin swiping through the photos. “Look how happy we all are!”

“The photos did come out really nice.” Larissa hums, reaching forward to grab Aurora’s phone.

“Look at our faces!” Nix cackles, swiping the phone and zooming in on the picture. “Caly and Aries are giving the chicken man the worst side eye imaginable.” 

“Any man who says ‘let’s cock-a-doodle-doo this’ deserves to get the side eyes of death.” Aries replies bluntly, leaning back in his seat to get more comfortable.

“Fair enough,” Rhea laughs, patting the taller male on his shoulder. “What’s your reasoning Caly?”

All heads turn to the woman in the driver’s seat who has been quiet this whole time. A slight frown mars her brows, eyes flicking between the dashboard and the road ahead.

“Caly?” Eris tilts her head in concern, noting how her friend’s lips purse in worry. “What’s wrong?”

A few glances are shared around the vehicle, each friend sitting forward in anticipation.

“Calypso?” Aurora leans forward in the passenger seat, making sure her face is in view of her friend’s peripheral.

“Sorry guys, the check engine light came on about five minutes ago and it hasn’t seemed to want to turn off.” Caly finally responds, noting a small parking lot about a block away. “I’m just going to pull in here and make sure it’s nothing serious-“

Almost as soon as those words escape her mouth, grey smoke begins to billow out from the engine.

“Oh shit, something is definitely wrong!” Nix’s eyes widen as they pull into the empty parking lot.

The moment the vehicle comes to a stop, it lets out a loud rumbling groan. A few clicks can be heard before the microbus shuts off, more smoke rising from the engine.

“Well, that’s not good.” Rhea blinks, unbuckling their seatbelt and opening the side door.

It takes about a minute for all eight passengers to exit the vehicle, a few of them circling the microbus. Phones come out, flashlights turned on to inspect the surrounding area.

“Good thing we got insurance.” Aries sighs, popping the hood.

Slowly, the smoke seems to be dissipating, all eight friends crowding around the front of the vehicle.

“We were almost out of the city, too.” Elara sighs, looking briefly off in the distance.

“We still had an hour to go before we reached the hotel, though.” Eris comments, checking the map on her phone.

“We shouldn’t drive it any further tonight.” Caly sighs, pulling up a contact on her phone. “I’ll call a tow.”

Fifteen minutes later, and some mumbled complaints from friends, a tow is called.

“They said they should be here in about an hour, so we’ve got some time to kill.” Caly says, tucking her phone into her back pocket.

“What are we supposed to do for an hour?” Larissa frowns, letting out a soft exhale. Her foot begins to tap rhythmically on the ground.

“Maybe there’s something around here still open that we can check out?” Aurora suggests.

“What would still be open at this hour?” Crossing her arms over her chest, Nix huffs.

“Well, it looks like there’s a bar across the street…” Rhea points out.

All heads turn to see a faint neon sign, a few windows with a dull light illuminating the inside. The place seems pretty busy, too.

“Thank goodness,” Larissa already begins hustling across the street. “I have to pee.”

The others follow closely behind, a few chuckling affectionately at their friend.

“I could use a drink.” Nix hums, Aurora happily agreeing.

“Maybe we can order some food while we wait?” Elara suggests, the others nodding along with her words.

Aries holds the door open for all of them, and as they all step inside, it’s as if a small electric shock travels through their bodies. Sounds seems to muffle for the moment as the atmosphere surrounds them. Spines straighten and brows furrow, a few shuffling from foot to foot once they notice just how crowded the bar is.

“Did anyone else feel that?” Eris’ hushed whisper gets ignored as the hustle and bustle of the bar assaults their ears suddenly in full force.

Larissa is the first to seemingly snap out of her daze, blinking a few times before marching through the crowd and towards the sign labelled ‘bathroom’. Little does she notice the eyes that follow her every move.

Shortly after, Aurora, Nix, and Elara all begin to weave through the crowd and towards the bar. Soft chatter is heard all around, yet the three girls all manage to hear each other for the moment, discussing what drinks they should get.

“I wonder what food they have here…” Elara mumbles, sidling up to the bar.

Unbeknownst to them, three sets of eyes track their every movement, a male drifting towards each individual almost subconsciously.

“Maybe we should grab a table?” Rhea suggests lightly.

Nods are shared by the remaining friends, searching through the crowd for an open space to fit all eight.

“There.” Aries flicks his head to a table in the corner by the front windows.

Wordlessly, all four of them walk over, sliding into the rounded booth to wait for their friend’s return.

Every few minutes, Calypso keeps checking her phone. A worried frown tugs at her features, and she keeps glancing out the window towards that parking lot across the street.

“I’m gonna go wait by the car,” she says, sliding out of the booth a moment later. “You know, just in case the tow comes early, or something. I don’t want to miss their call. Plus, it’s a little too loud in here.”

“I’ll come with you!” Rhea hops out of the booth. “Maybe there’s another place open we can check out.”

“Sounds good.” Aries hums, casually resting his one arm across the back of the booth while Eris scopes out the place.

With a final wave, Caly and Rhea part from their friends, heading back out the door they had just walked in only minutes before.

Two males behind the counter share a look.

A few minutes pass by, Eris continuously glancing over towards the bar to keep an eye on her friends. Though, with the amount of people weaving between tables and lingering about, it’s getting harder and harder to spot her friends. In fact, she’s already lost visual on Elara and Aurora. Luckily, Nix seems to still be in plain sight.

“Issie is sure taking a long time in the bathroom.” Eris comments, worrying her bottom lip. “I can’t see Lara or Rora, either.”

“I’m sure they’re fine.” Aries hums, glancing out the window to see Caly across the street leaning against the car, and Rhea heading down the street. He turns his attention back to the bar, having felt eyes on him. “I can see them right now.”

“Alright,” Eris replies, a vary tone to her voice. “But I’m going to go check on Issie.”

All Eris receives from the taller male is a nod in response. Carefully, she slips out of the booth, heading in the same direction Larissa did only minutes before.

A pair of eyes follow her through the crowd, yet she is none the wiser. A pair of eyes which glance around the room, flashing briefly as they lock with several other sets that all seem to share the same thought.

Eight subtle nods are given, and eight friends are soon separated, never to see each other that night again.

[g00seg1rl]

Hii 💗 my name is grace, more commonly referred to as Goose, g00se, or goosie 😇

This is my ao3, and you’ve already found my tumblr, yay! 🤭😘

I write lots of drabbles, ficlets, one shots and short fics for Acotar! Mostly my dears, Azriel and Eris Vanserra, and Elain and Lucien, but I fuck around here n there💗

My stuffs and things

🪿💗 Azriel x Eris Vanserra Masterlist

🪿💗 Elain Archeron x Lucien Masterlist

🪿💗 Drabbles Masterlist

🪿💗 Outtakes Tuesdays, it may not be every week 😫 | one, two, three, four, five

I’ve yapped too much to summarize every fic, here are a few of my personal favorites (aka the most self indulgent, 😇):

Collateral Damage | Azriel x Eris Vanserra | modern au, horny meet cute- maybe not so cute, find out mwahahaha | 6.9k (I swear it wasn’t intentional, I am jelly of god’s humor | ao3 | tumblr

Pizza smut.

High Lord Hijinks | Azriel x Eris Vanserra | canon setting, au: they’re married and happy and angst? We don’t know her here 😫 | 963 words | ao3 | tumblr

Thesan sends the newly married Azris a sparkly doo-dad, unfortunately it also acted as a lethal weapon. It was a butt plug.

A Sweet Treat | Elain Archeron x Lucien Vanserra | modern au, lulu is a Munch | 3k words | ao3 | tumblr

Lucien missed so much about Elain as she was gone on a research trip, but most of all he’d missed her yummy cunt.

🪿💗 Rarepairs/Crackships

Relent | Elain x Azriel x Lucien | modern au, this is messy in so many ways | 3k words | ao3 | tumblr

Greedy | Cassian x Azriel x Rhysand | Windhaven slutty au, smut, more to cum | 960 words| tumblr

Should Have | Cassian x Azriel x Eris | cannon setting, things are chill au, SMUT, fluff | 8.9k words | ao3 | tumblr

@the-darkestminds beta reads everything I do and she’s a goddess who makes everything I write ten times better, love you mami 😌💗

That’s all I got for right now, but there’s more to come (many more ways to make them come 🤭) so please do tell if you’d wanna be added to any of my tag lists (general, elucien, or azris)!

[sepublic]

Anyhow I think the reason why a lot of people gravitate towards stuff like kids cartoons and look forward to deeper more mature storytelling is because they just. Look nice. They’re colorful and charming with nice artstyles that look cool. Breaking Bad is a great show but it’s also about grubby humans in a grubby world. And yes you can find beauty in the aesthetic flaws and imperfections of our world but also be real here.

In the end people want it both ways. They want their stories to be more powerful but they also genuinely want them to look nice. People want darkness and angst but they also love whimsy and color. We need both of these things in our life. I think of Everything Everywhere All At Once and it’s such a compelling narrative about existential crises and what we do with our lives but also Racacoonie. I love Peele’s Nope and how it’s about the grisly ways the entertainment industry exploits humans and animals and objectifies them both but also Akira bike slide.

I think of how Sonic the Hedgehog is a popular franchise because the designs walk the fine line between being colorful and whimsy but also being edgy and hardcore enough. And there’s the classic variations if you want it. People love Maria getting gunned down not because they hate little girls as fandom usually does but because it symbolizes the story letting itself get more mature and elevating itself in its seriousness.

Sonic the Hedgehog is a funny blue cartoon taking on stuff like death mechs with bleeding eyes born from the follies of an arrogant civilization. All the while the hardest rock you’ve ever heard plays in the background, I’m talking 2000’s edge. And it’s sincere about it, it doesn’t stop to laugh about how dissonant it is. It loves these things in full.

Sometimes I think of that one webcomic where it combines characters like Bugs Bunny or Scooby Doo or Squidward and treats it entirely seriously without batting an eye. I think of how kids and teens are also clamoring for these things, how I did the exact same! We’re not dumb and we don’t want to be condescended, and we take that desire into adulthood. Maybe some of us are looking for the shows we never got to have as kids. In the end we can handle it. No wonder shonen and anime are so popular. Or superhero comics.

Like in the end I get where some people are coming from in expecting more mature stories from other genres but sometimes I want stories that also look nice and make room for whimsy too. If I wanted a specific type of mech story then I don’t think recommending a magical girl anime is going to help.

[bluejaysandblackbats]

Keepsafes

Fandom: Batman, DC Comics

Summary: AU where Martha and Thomas survive, and they adopt the batkids.

Chapters: 33/?

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Thomas Wayne, Martha Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth, Harvey Dent, Dick Grayson, Cassandra Cain, David Cain, Talia al Ghul, Damian Wayne, Jason Todd, Tim Drake

Relationships: Thomas Wayne/Martha Wayne/Alfred Pennyworth, BruHarvey, BruTalia

Additional Tags: Canon Divergent AU, Hurt/Comfort, Bruce Wayne is Not Batman, Angst, Alfred Pennyworth Knows All, Bruce Wayne Only Has One Child, Bruce Wayne is Not An Only Child, Bi Bruce Wayne

Chapter Thirty-Three: Addition to the Family

Harvey met the Waynes at the manor that night, and he watched as Bruce unbuckled the sleeping boy from the backseat of Martha’s car. Dick instinctively wrapped his arms around Bruce’s neck. Dick pushed his face into Bruce’s shoulder, trembling as he started crying again, and Bruce rubbed his back. “I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere,” Bruce whispered as he looked into Harvey’s eyes. 

“You okay?” Harvey mouthed. Bruce smiled and shook his head.

“This is Harvey. He’s in school to become a lawyer,” Bruce whispered. 

“I used to live here when I was a kid… And I was scared at first, but I promise you you’ll be calling it home soon,” Harvey reassured him. 

Dick went limp in Bruce’s arms, and Bruce sighed with relief. “He’s asleep… Good. Let me put him down, so I can apologize to you,” Bruce replied. 

Harvey followed him inside and trudged up the stairs behind him. “You really don’t have to apologize to me. It wasn’t like you planned for this to happen. It seems like he trusts you,” Harvey whispered. 

“Who called you?” Bruce asked. 

“Who do you think? Thomas explained everything. He said you wouldn’t leave the kid’s side,” Harvey answered as Bruce nodded toward the door at the end of the hall. It was right between Bruce’s and Harvey’s rooms. “Why didn’t I move into this room?” 

“I think Dad’s friend came to visit that week… You remember? Dr. Cooper?” Bruce reminded him. Harvey nodded. 

Bruce tucked Dick in and left a note telling Dick where to find them if he woke up. He stepped into the hall and shut Dick’s door on his way out. Harvey kissed Bruce’s forehead. “You want me to stay the night?” Harvey asked. Bruce hugged him. 

“Harvey, I’m glad you’re here,” Bruce confessed. 

“Bruce… You’re shaking,” Harvey whispered, “Come on. Let me run you a bath.” 

**

Bruce woke up from a nightmare, and Harvey sat up with a jolt. “Bruce?” Harvey whispered as Bruce turned into his pillow. Harvey nearly sighed with relief before he heard Bruce’s muffled cries. “Come up here. It’s okay.” 

Bruce cried into Harvey’s lap, letting Harvey gently slip his hand into the loose collar of Bruce’s pajamas to rub his back. “Where are my parents?” Bruce asked once he was calm enough to talk. 

“They’re sleeping. They stopped by to say goodnight a little while ago,” Harvey reassured him, “And the little boy, he’s in my old room. Dick is in my old room. That’s his name.” Bruce couldn’t stop shaking, but he nodded in reply. 

“I think I need to take a sleeping pill,” Bruce whispered. Harvey nodded. 

Bruce rolled onto his back, and Harvey climbed out of bed to go to the medicine cabinet. 

“Wait… When did you start taking sleeping pills?” asked from the bathroom. 

“I couldn’t sleep after Aunt Gabi passed. Kate squealed on me and told Uncle Jake that I wasn’t sleeping,” Bruce answered as he took a sip of water. 

“Are you gonna call Isaiah?” Harvey asked. Bruce nodded. “Good… And if you need me, text me… But tonight, I’m all yours, and I’m not going anywhere.” Bruce took two sleeping pills. Harvey 

**

Thomas woke up early, playing opera music quietly in the kitchen while he made all his sandwiches for the week. Dick rubbed his eyes as he entered the kitchen. “Mr. Wayne?” Dick mumbled. 

“Hi, young man. Are you hungry?” Thomas asked. 

“Who are you cooking for? Scooby Doo?” Dick questioned as he looked at the stacks of sandwiches on the counter. 

“I like to eat a good number of sandwiches on my shifts. I don’t like to eat the same thing twice in a row. I can make over twenty sandwiches for the whole week. This is a twist on the classic PB-and-J. Do you like spicy food?” Thomas replied. Dick shrugged. “Have a bite. If you don’t like it, you don’t like it.” Thomas did a diagonal slice across the sandwich and took a bite. Dick followed behind him and took a bite of his half. He scrunched up his nose before softening his face and taking another bite. 

“What is it?” Dick asked. 

“Peanut butter, pineapple jam, basil, and red curry on toasted bread. What do you think?” Thomas questioned. Dick smiled at him as he took another bite. “I’ll make you another if you want.” 

Dick nodded. “Are you and your wife mad at each other?” Dick asked. Thomas shook his head. “Why are you in the kitchen while it’s still dark out?” 

“Because I have to go to work in two hours. I like to take some time to myself before a shift,” Thomas answered. Dick took a big bite and Thomas laughed. “You’ve got crumbs on your cheeks… Dick, I hope you like staying here.” 

**

Harvey hung up his coat as he entered the room. “Honey, I’m home!” Harvey announced. Gilda untied Harvey’s tie and unbuttoned the first two buttons on his shirt. “Are you okay?” Gilda lifted his chin with her knuckle. 

“I took off work this morning… I thought maybe we could...” Gilda kissed his neck as she continued to unbutton his shirt. “We could spend a little quality time together.” 

“What kind of quality are we talk—?” Gilda unbuckled his belt, whipping it out of the loops, and she unbuttoned his pants, letting them fall to his ankles. Harvey looped a finger into the strap of her nightgown. Burgundy silk against her soft olive-toned skin. Harvey let the strap fall off her shoulder. He sighed against her cheek, letting the tip of his nose glide against her cheek. “God, you’re soft.” 

Gilda smiled as Harvey’s hand strayed from her arm to the small of her back. She tilted her head upwards and whispered, “What are you feeling for?” 

“I wanna know what kind of underwear you’ve got on,” Harvey whispered. Gilda laughed. 

“Why don’t you just look?” Gilda asked. 

“I always shake the box before I open my presents,” Harvey smiled. Gilda pulled away before jumping into his arms. Harvey kissed her passionately as he headed toward her bedroom. They fell on the bed together and playfully fought to be on top. Harvey reached over for her bedside drawer, and she grabbed his hand.

Gilda pulled away to breathe. “Harvey, can I ask you for something?” Gilda questioned as she climbed on top of him.

“You are in the perfect position to make demands, but I think we’re forgetting—.”

“I want a baby… From you,” Gilda whispered as she started to grind against him. 

Harvey moaned and looked at the ceiling. “Wait, are we being serious right now? Or is this like—? Gilda, I want kids, but I need to know we’re set before I bring children into this world. Are you um—? Is it disrespectful to ask if this is a hormone thing?” Harvey asked. 

“A little bit yeah… But I—. How long am I supposed to wait?” Gilda replied. 

“Give me a year and a half. I wanna talk this over every couple of months,” Harvey answered, “I wanna be a good dad. I wanna have kids with you… And I hope you don’t think I’m fooling around just to fool around. I—.” 

Gilda kissed him. “Every three months?” Gilda asked. 

“May, August, November… Condom?” Harvey whispered. Gilda reached into the drawer and placed the condom in his hand. “I’m gonna make all your dreams come true. I promise.” 

“Does Bruce want children?” Gilda asked. 

“Okay… Get off for a second. I feel like this is gonna be a long conversation,” Harvey whispered. Gilda obeyed and stared at the ceiling. “Bruce loves kids, but I don’t know if he’d want any. Bruce is more of the babysitter type… I can’t see him with a baby. I don’t even know if he’d ever like a woman enough to have a baby with—. Do not bring this up to him right now.” 

“Harvey—.”

“I’m serious. Last night was so weird, Gilda. Now, he’s got that kid living with him, and I think he’d do anything to distract him from what he saw at the circus last night,” Harvey whispered. 

“Oh, yeah… But Harvey, it wasn’t like I was gonna ask him to—. I just wanted to know if—. I wanted to know if your hang-ups were more about Bruce than—.” 

“No, it never crossed my mind,” Harvey answered, “If Bruce was a woman… Or if I was a woman, I would’ve said the same thing. I don’t care how much money the person I’m with has. I don’t want to start a family unless I’m in a good enough place financially to do things for my kids on my own. It’s just how I’m hardwired, honey.” 

Gilda looked into his eyes. “Not a macho thing?” Gilda asked. 

“Not even close to a macho thing. Not pride either. I just want to be able to carry my own weight,” Harvey whispered. 

“Diaper duty?” Gilda replied.

“I was born to serve,” Harvey grinned. Gilda laughed. “I know that laugh. You’re worse than a man. Come on… We’ll do that thing you wanted to try.” Gilda chuckled as she pulled her slip over her head and tossed it to the side.

[icedteaandoldlace]

36 + Barry and Cisco! Either as a ship or friendship is fine by me

36: “I’ll do anything. Anything at all. Just let my friend go.” (from this list)

Here it is, hot off the Google Doc: one angst loaded prompt fill, with an extra side of "ow" just for you. 💝

Links for AO3 and FFN.

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This Can't Be How It Ends

Cisco really didn’t need any help having a terrible year. Losing Dante was already the hardest thing he had ever had to go through, and that alone was enough to upend his entire world, leaving him feeling hollow and incomplete as he struggled to process how someone who had been a part of his life since the day he was born could be gone forever. He would still be just barely holding it together if that was the only problem he had to face right now, but while Dante’s death was certainly the worst of his current troubles, it was also only the first thing on a growing list of reasons why he felt like his life was falling apart. His powers were getting stronger, for one, and developing new uses for him to explore—which should have been exciting (and to a degree, it was), but it was hard to focus on the positive aspects when the whole experience was inundated with its own unique and very unpleasant set of growing pains; more unwanted visions, more headaches, more nosebleeds, and more fear of what becoming too powerful might do to him. Especially with grief making him more irritable and impairing his sense of humor, he feared he was at an even greater risk of losing control of himself than before.

The icing on the very crappy cake that was Cisco’s 2016 had been learning about Flashpoint, and then dealing with all the fallout that had come from that. Now he got to worry about his best friend as she fought off her own powers, and with them a dark side that had emerged within her and was trying to take her over like a cancer; only instead of killing her, its intent was to turn her evil. And as for his other, former best friend…well, he was the reason that Dante was dead and Caitlin was struggling in the first place. And thanks to an arrangement Cisco had agreed to before he’d known the full story, he was also his roommate—which meant that he was virtually unavoidable, given that they both worked and lived together now.

Cisco had gotten past his previous beef with Barry, and he understood now that trifling with time was loaded with risks that were too dangerous to take. He also understood that healing through grief wasn’t attained by rejecting the reality of the loss, but by learning how to embrace his memories for what they were, and to be open to a future that was different than the one he had imagined. He didn’t expect Barry to change the timeline for him anymore; he knew that that was asking too much, and he didn’t harbor any resentment toward him for refusing. But getting Dante killed in the first place—not even telling Cisco that he’d been the one responsible—and then acting like it was no big deal, and like all it would take was an apology to make everything okay again? That was too much for Cisco to forgive. He didn’t seem to even care that he had made Cisco’s worst nightmare a reality, or that he would be missing Dante and regretting letting their relationship deteriorate for the rest of his life. Now not only had Cisco lost his brother, but he had lost his friend and his confidant and his hero as well. The person he should have been able to lean on when he was at his lowest was instead the person who had put him there.

So Cisco really had enough to deal with right now without anyone else coming in and adding more turbulence to his life. As his luck would have it, someone did, anyway.

It would have to be a break-in in the middle of the night, and it would have to be when Barry was the only other person around, and the last person Cisco wanted to be handling a break-in with. Yet here they were, crouched in the hallway outside Cisco’s bedroom, following the sound of someone rooting around in his kitchen.

Barry reached the doorway to the kitchen first, and he peered around the edge cautiously, while Cisco hovered right behind him, both grateful and annoyed that Barry had taken the lead on this mission. He definitely didn’t want to be the one to come face to face with the intruder first, but the thought of having to wait until a fight broke out to see what they were up against was not a desirable position to be in, either.

A moment later, Barry drew back, turning slowly to Cisco and motioning to him to stay where he was. Then, facing forward again, he took a deep breath, and in an instant, his presence beside Cisco was replaced with a sudden breeze, a streak of yellow light trailing in his wake. There was a sound of rapid whooshing in the other room, and intermittent flashes of speedster lightning coloring the walls—until a crash somewhere in the kitchen brought it all to a stop.

Cisco tentatively inched forward, checking to see if Barry needed his help or if he had been the victor in the fight—and then he jerked back immediately when the whole room became flooded in light.

A familiar female voice laughed as the sounds of Barry groaning and an upset chair rocking against the floor reached Cisco’s ears, and he slowly leaned forward again to see what was going on.

Barry grabbed hold of Cisco’s countertop as he pulled himself to his feet, and a look of bewilderment crossed his face as his assailant came into view.

“Trajectory?” Barry let out in disbelief.

“In the flesh once again,” Trajectory returned with a satisfied flourish at herself. “And you still can’t keep up with me, Drag.”

Barry shook his head, still looking a little thrown. “But you—you died,” he stammered confusedly. “That’s how we discovered that Velocity—”

“Uh, wrong,” Trajectory snapped over him, still smiling, but shooting daggers at Barry with her eyes. “You put me in Iron Heights after I poisoned your little friend. Remember?”

Barry’s eyes narrowed in puzzlement, and then they shifted to the side as he visibly tried to make sense of what he was hearing.

Oh god, Cisco thought, realization dawning on him. This was another thing Barry had changed in Flashpoint. His memories were all remainders from an earlier timeline.

Trajectory had almost died, running into a wall at S.T.A.R. Labs and knocking herself unconscious after taking a dose of Velocity 9 that Harry had willfully made too strong. And short though that run had been, it had taught Team Flash that Velocity 9 was what caused speedsters to have blue lightning. That had to be what Barry was talking about; her head injury must have been fatal in the original timeline.

“Okay, but you’re out now,” Barry said in a measured tone, eyeing Trajectory cautiously. “And you have speed again. How’d you manage that?”

Trajectory smirked. “Paid a little visit to your lab again after my release. Yeah, that’s right,” she added before Barry could ask, “They let me out on a technicality. Gotta love seeing our justice system hard at work. And you know, I’m not the only person you put in there that has unfinished business. Does the name Edward Clariss ring a bell?”

Cisco swallowed, fighting back the memory of the speedster that he and Barry had so recently taken down together. It had seemed so great at the time, working together as partners in the field, playing off each other’s strengths to stop a criminal who would have been too much for either of them to take on on their own. He wished working with Barry still felt cool and satisfying like that. Now it was a chore just to get through the day with him by his side.

Something that looked like sadness briefly crossed Barry’s face, but he kept his focus on Trajectory and just shrugged. “What about him?”

“Even in the women’s wing, word travels about what goes on on the men’s side,” Trajectory continued. “And before Clariss died, he had rambled to one of the guards that the Flash had taken a better life away from him—with time travel.” She shrugged. “Everyone else brushed it off as insanity, but I’m smart enough to know that speed is the key component in every credible theory on how to make time travel possible. And now I wanna know how you figured it out.”

Barry shook his head. “Eliza, time travel is dangerous,” he started.

“Trajectory,” she corrected testily. “And don’t think your noble hero act is gonna convince me you’re not just gatekeeping this ability for yourself, just like you did with the V9.”

“No, no, it’s not like that,” Barry explained. “I don’t even use Velocity 9—and I don’t time travel anymore, either. You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“Oh, Flash,” Trajectory chuckled. “I’m not asking for anything.”

Cisco frowned. That sounded like a threat. He drew a slow, silent breath, and kept his eyes fixed on Trajectory as he waited for her to either continue speaking or make a move on Barry. If she was going to attack him, he would have to move fast if he wanted to block her from hurting him.

All of a sudden, Trajectory was standing right in front of Cisco and looking him dead in the eyes, and he jumped back in fright. She had moved faster than he could even blink, and now he had nowhere to hide. It felt like a moment taken straight out of a horror movie, complete with the creepy, malicious grin she was giving him right now.

Everything that happened next was too fast for Cisco to process. One second he was standing face to face with Trajectory in the hallway, the next he was on the floor in the living room, his arms behind his back and the omnipresent vibrations around him now undetectable. A pair of hands grabbed him and drew him up to his knees, and it was then that he saw that his TV and multiple shelves had been knocked over, his whole apartment in disarray from what looked like a knock-down drag-out that he had never heard happen. Barry was once again on the ground, this time under a pile of broken model spaceships, and he was clutching his head in pain as he tried to reorient himself.

Cisco registered that it was Trajectory holding on to him now, and he tried moving his arms to get her to let go of him, but they wouldn’t budge. Something was fastened around his wrists, fettering them together.

Of course. Cisco rolled his eyes in frustration. She had found his spare power dampening cuffs that he kept in his junk drawer. Lovely.

The matter of not being able to move his arms quickly became a lesser concern, however, when she curled one arm tightly around his neck, and pressed her opposite hand against his head, forcing his neck into a tense, rigid position.

“You even try to fight back, you’re dead,” she snarled directly into Cisco’s ear.

Cisco remained completely still, taking his breaths slowly and deeply in an effort to keep calm.

Barry looked up at the sound of the threat, and he scrambled to his feet, nearly falling again as he stumbled over half a model X-wing and the now-smashed Millennium Falcon. “Eliza, don’t!” he exclaimed, starting forward.

“One step toward me and your friend dies!” Trajectory snapped, compelling Barry into freezing where he stood. “Get. Back,” she commanded then, and Barry obeyed, lifting his hands in surrender.

“Okay,” Barry said slowly. “Okay, I’m not gonna fight you anymore. Just let him go. He has nothing to do with this, alright? This is between you and me.”

“He has everything to do with this,” Trajectory retorted. “Because he’s the reason you’re gonna tell me exactly what I need to know. You teach me how to time travel and I let him live, that’s the deal.”

“Eliza,” Barry started again, a desperate look in his eyes. “Eliza, you don’t know what I know. You could end up destroying your life if you start changing time. Altering just one moment is all it takes to irreversibly screw up everything.”

Trajectory hummed boredly. “Sounds like you want him dead,” she said, and made a loose twisting motion that made Cisco’s stomach drop.

“No, wait, wait, wait!” Barry cried.

Cisco breathed in shakily as his heart began to pound. She was gonna kill him. She didn’t have the patience to deal with Barry’s attempts to talk her down, and there was no way Barry was giving another evil speedster the ability to toy with the timeline. Cisco’s life was about to end before he had the chance to see it get better.

“I’m trying to protect you here,” Barry continued.

Trajectory snorted.

“No, I mean it!” Barry said desperately. “Just hear me out, I can explain everything!”

“Yeah, you know, I’m not really interested in some big speech about speedstering responsibly,” Trajectory said. “I just robbed a big mall before I got here, and security cams will’ve caught the lightning, and y’know, if I could go back to before that moment, I’d still have all the money I took without any evidence that could send me back to prison. So if you could spare me the lecture and just skip to the part where you give me what I want, I can be on my merry way without having to snap this guy’s neck.”

Cisco honestly didn’t know which would be worse—Barry standing his ground and letting her kill him on principle of protecting the timeline, or actually breaking his own no-changing-time rule for him and making an even bigger mess of things by creating a Reverse Flash 2.0. Not that he actually expected him to care enough to do the latter; saving his life couldn’t be worth the risk it would pose to everyone else’s, especially the people he loved.

“I’m not trying to lecture you,” Barry said, “and I’ll help you any way that I can, honestly—but I’m serious, it’s not a good idea. You could die if you try to time travel.”

“And how’s that?” Trajectory asked. She gave Cisco’s head a slight push, straining the muscles in his neck uncomfortably, and he began to tremble involuntarily as the threat of death loomed ever nearer. “Better make your argument good, and you better make it fast.”

Barry nodded, breathing heavily as he hurried to make his case. “I have powers because I’m a metahuman,” he explained. “My speed comes from an organic source, so my body’s equipped to handle running at high speeds. Your speed comes from Velocity 9—you’re putting something into your body that makes you a speedster temporarily, but you have no natural defense against the force you’d be running against in a wormhole—which you would have to do if you were traveling through time.”

“Except the V9 gives me speed healing,” Trajectory rebutted, “so anything that happens to me in a wormhole would be quickly reversed.”

“Theoretically, maybe,” said Barry, “but at the speed you would have to reach to open the wormhole in the first place—”

“Blah, blah, blah—Caity already gave me the ‘don’t do speed drugs’ talk, and I didn’t buy that any more than I’m buying this. The V hasn’t made me sick or weak any of the times I’ve used it, it just makes me powerful, and if you think you’re gonna convince me that if I run too fast—”

“Damn it, Eliza, I ruined Cisco’s life!” Barry shouted, startling Trajectory into silence, and nearly making Cisco’s heart stop.

This was the first time he had acknowledged the damage he’d done. He had tried to apologize once—in a tired, halfhearted sort of way, right after Caitlin had outed his secret about Dante’s death. And then he had asked Cisco if their relationship would be okay later, and passively walked away when Cisco told him that he wasn’t sure. But he had never once given any indication that he grasped the full weight of what he had done, or that what Cisco was going through had any effect on him at all.

“I went back in time to save someone that I love,” Barry continued in a rush. “My parents—I created a timeline where they never died, and I thought that meant that everything would be okay—but I was wrong. I lost my brother in that timeline, and other people that I love lost him, too, and my friends didn’t even know who I was. So I changed it back—I thought I could fix everything, but I just ended up screwing up everyone’s lives even more, and it’s impossible to reset things to the way they were before. Every time I change time to try to save one person, I risk losing everyone else in my life, and I can’t—I can’t keep doing that. My last stunt cost me my best friend, and now he’s the one having to go through life without his brother—something I couldn’t handle going through even for one day—and if I try to use time travel to fix things, he may not even be alive next time, and I’d rather have him hate me forever than never get to see him again. I am stuck in this horrible paradox where I want to go back in time and undo all the pain I’ve caused him, but I can’t, because trying to fix things with time travel is how I hurt him in the first place. So trust me, you don’t know what you’re asking for. Even if you manage to survive the initial journey to the past—and there’s a very real chance that you won’t—it’s not worth risking everything else in your life and the entire rest of the world, just to change one thing that didn’t go your way!”

Cisco bit down on his lips and blinked back tears as his heart pounded in his chest. All this time, he’d thought that Barry simply didn’t understand or care how his actions had affected him. And here it looked like the Barry that he’d thought was his friend might still exist after all—but it was too late for it to matter now. Because he had just unwittingly shown his whole hand.

“So, just so we’re clear,” Trajectory drawled, “you’re definitely not teaching me how to time travel? Because if that’s the case, then there’s no reason for me to stand around and keep your friend alive—”

Barry’s eyes widened. “No, stop, I’LL DO IT!”

He was lying—he had to be. Even if he did care about Cisco, he had already made his stance clear, and there was no use trying to backpedal now.

“I don’t believe you,” said Trajectory. “You’re just bluffing so you can stall some more, and I’m not gonna waste another—”

“No, I’m not! Really! I’ll do anything. Anything at all. Just let my friend go.” Barry’s breath caught, and he was on the verge of tears himself now. “Please—please. I’ll show you how to time travel, I swear, I will. Just please don’t hurt him. I couldn’t stand to lose him forever. He’s too important to me.”

There was a pause as Trajectory seemed to consider his offer.

Cisco’s jaw clenched anxiously, and he locked his eyes on Barry’s, silently pleading for him to have a plan. They could not let another evil speedster learn to time travel. But even so, he wasn’t ready to die.

Please. Please get us out of this. Please be the hero I want you to be.

“Okay,” Trajectory said smoothly after a little while. “If you really mean it, then let’s do this. But first you gotta say the magic word.”

Barry just stared at her in confusion for a moment, then he tried hesitantly, “Please?”

“Wrong,” said Trajectory. “Panda.”

Barry looked even more confused at that, and Cisco was right there with him.

“Go back in time to the exact moment I knocked you into that shelf,” Trajectory explained, “say ‘panda’, and I’ll know you’re a man of your word, and we can go somewhere else, you can teach me how to time travel, and your sad little friend will never have to get mixed up in this. You have three seconds after I say it to change the timeline, or no deal. Panda.”

The panic on Barry’s face was clear, and Cisco swallowed back a sob as it sank in that Trajectory had won. Barry had never intended to let the timeline change again, and now that she’d proven it, she had no reason to bargain with him any further.

“I—wait,” Barry stammered desperately. “How do I know that—”

“Too slow,” said Trajectory.

And then she did it. For one horrible second, Cisco was in excruciating pain as his neck jerked in an unnatural direction, and he had just enough time to hear Barry scream out his name in anguish, only picking up the first syllable, before he lost consciousness. If there was any more to Barry’s reaction than that, Cisco didn’t live long enough to see it.

-

Cisco’s whole body seized up as he awoke with a gasp, shivering uncontrollably as one form of darkness was replaced with another. He continued to take his breaths in heaves as the shape of his bedroom door appeared before his eyes, and he started to pull himself into a sitting position, instinctively reaching up one hand to feel his neck—which was straight and unbroken, and not in any pain.

“Hey—hey, hey, hey,” a gentle voice came through the darkness as two hands lightly took his shoulders. “It’s alright. You’re okay.”

Cisco blinked, and the glaze over his eyes cleared up and he could make out Barry’s features hovering in front of him. He could also make out the other shapes in his bedroom, and he quickly looked around in a panic. “H-how am I—where did she—?”

“It’s okay, Trajectory’s not here,” Barry soothed. “It was just a dream. You’re okay. You’re safe.”

Cisco deflated with relief as his words sank in. Just a dream. Just another dime-a-dozen nightmare from all the stress and sorrow that had persistently overwhelmed him for the last few months. Exhaling a heavy sigh, he dropped his head into his hands as adrenaline beset his whole body with tremors. He was alive. He wasn’t in any danger. He was okay. It was just a dream.

He could feel Barry still gripping his shoulders in a familiar, protective way, and massaging them soothingly with his thumbs. The instinctive urge to lean forward and let himself be enveloped in a warm Barry-hug nearly took him over, as he wanted to be held and comforted as the residual fear from the nightmare faded away. But as his memory of the dream began to fog over, his view of reality became clearer, and a heavy feeling settled in his chest. If dying had been a dream, then so had everything Barry had said just beforehand. From the speech about regretting changing Cisco’s life, to the way he had begged Eliza to let him go, insisting that he couldn’t lose him…

With a shudder of resistance, Cisco wrenched himself out of Barry’s grasp and slid away from him. None of it had been real. He wasn’t really that important to him, and Barry didn’t really care how deeply he had hurt him; he had just been saying what Cisco had wanted him to say because he’d been a figment of his unconscious imagination.

“Cisco?” Barry said in a soft, hesitant voice.

Cisco hugged his arms to his chest, turning away from Barry and forcing back the tears forming behind his eyes. Nothing in reality had changed; Dante was still dead, Barry was still acting like everything was normal, and everything still hurt, and Cisco was never going to get the friendship he had thought he’d had with Barry back. They were still just coworkers temporarily sharing an apartment, nothing more.

“Hey, man—” Barry reached out a hand to touch Cisco’s shoulder again, but Cisco promptly shrugged it off.

“Can you please just leave me alone?” Cisco said shakily, his voice coming out more fragile than he would have liked.

There was a pause. For a good while, neither one of them said anything. Then finally, Barry answered quietly, “Yeah, alright.” And he left it at that.

He then began to make his way back to his side of the room, and Cisco swallowed another upsurge of emotion as Barry once again gave in too easily. It was what Cisco had asked him to do, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt that he wouldn’t even try to object.

Cisco honestly didn’t know what he even wanted from him at this point. Maybe he really did want to be left alone, or maybe he wanted Barry to try to fight him a little, because then at least he wouldn’t feel like he meant nothing to him. As it was, Barry was always more interested in assuaging his own guilt than he was in really being Cisco’s friend, and even though it hurt to be around him right now, it hurt even more being abandoned. Though on the upside, at least leaving him to grapple with his late night demons alone wasn’t as bad as letting him die.

Cisco let out a small, bitter huff of a laugh with no humor in it. That was one thing about the dream that had been accurate at least; no way would Barry ever put saving Cisco above protecting the timeline. His priorities had been made clear, and his friendship with Cisco was not one of them. He had covered up the truth about Dante’s death, he let himself be pushed away, and he never made any effort at all to try to mend things between them. He just didn’t care.

As Barry settled again onto the couch at the end of the room, Cisco curled up under his blankets, and tried to calm himself enough to be able to sleep again. His mind was full and his heart was heavy, and he could only hope that he wouldn’t fall victim to any more nightmares tonight; the first one had left him rattled enough already.

If only he weren’t so tired and if only he weren’t so distraught, it might have occurred to him to question how Barry knew that his nightmare had been about Trajectory.

[born-to-lose-writing]

No Road Romance – Chapter 11

Pairing: Roger Daltrey x reader

Summary: When you start going to The Who's shows, you regularly hook up with Roger, but after a while of being his groupie and a friend, you're beginning to think you like him more than that.

Tags: angst, sexual references

Words: 1,176

A/N: Here comes the angst doo doo doo doo

Tag list: @slit-skirts

You watched Roger while he was sleeping, looking like an angel with his curly golden hair forming a sort of halo on the pillow, his parted lips and his beautiful face shape. You were glad he still had his eyes closed because those big blue eyes could put you in some sort of trance if you stared long enough.

Ever since he had come home from America and things had gone back to normal after a rather dry and impersonal period, you had reconsidered how you felt about him. Initially, he had only been a cute singer you had coincidentally gotten the chance to hook up with, then you did that more often, but without any kind of feelings involved other than lust. At some point, you also talked about normal things and met up like friends did – no, you were friends. Good friends actually, and at times you seemed to be a little more than that.

Still, you had never caught yourself extensively thinking about him like you did more often now. You had never wanted to go on actual dates with him. You had never wanted to kiss him softly to wake him up. You had never felt lightheaded when the sex was closer to making love than the desperate horny hookups in small backstage areas. You had never wanted to spend a whole weekend alone with him, maybe going someplace else. You had never wanted to have the almost uncomfortably deep conversations with him and get to know the real him. Although you had known him well for quite some time, you weren't sure if the side he showed you of him was the normal Roger or a lighter version of his stage persona.

You had never gotten so jealous you got mad at yourself when seeing him flirting with other people at gigs despite you being the one who followed him into the dressing room. After all, you were in the same boat as them, except you liked to jokingly call yourself a ‘premium groupie’ as you had been seeing him regularly for the past two and a half years and apparently, Roger liked you enough to keep you around for so long.

What you were starting to think about him had felt like a crush at first and you had assumed it would pass quickly because you probably only got a little attached after spending so much time with him and getting physically close so you wanted to get even more emotionally close as well in a different way than friends did. However, it had been several months since then and instead of getting less, your feelings for him were becoming more serious with every time you saw him, sometimes nervous about what to say and do or how you looked, which was completely new when it came to him. The last time you had worried about that he hadn't even given you a backstage pass yet. You were close to yearning and frankly, you were scared.

If you let your feelings show, you would surely scare him away. If you suppressed them, you would tear a hole in your heart that would grow bigger and bigger. You didn't know what to do. As far as you knew, Roger was single; otherwise he wouldn't have had so much time to meet you in between gigs and tours as you figured if there was a partner, he would prefer to spend more time with them than a groupie who had been on his heels since 1966.

Lost in thought, you didn't notice Roger was awake by now. He smiled and rubbed his eyes, uttering a raspy, “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” you replied, your stupid adoring smile being replaced by a frown. You were angry at yourself for slowly developing feelings for him – feelings you had sworn you would never catch. You had made it clear to him early on that nothing more would come of this and he agreed. How would you explain this change of heart then?

Even more than that right now, you were angry that he certainly noticed you staring at him with a look in your eyes that gave it all away. You had thought you were better at hiding your emotions than this. What would he think of you now? You couldn't appear like one of those embarrassing fans who were naive enough to think their favourite musicians would magically fall in love with them. You were not one of them, you convinced yourself, you were simply someone who frequently hung out with him. You were not in love with him, you were only here to hook up, get into concerts for free and talk to an objectively cool person, for one because it helped your ego, but also because he was interesting and you enjoyed his company in a normal way. Lies.

Roger leaned in to kiss you, but before he got too close you turned away. You swung your legs over the edge of the bed and grabbed your t-shirt, putting it back on. “I think it's time for you to go,” you murmured, frustration in your voice coming off as rather annoyed and bitter.

He blinked and looked over at you with furrowed eyebrows, but you didn't turn around, nor did you explain why you were in such a hurry. Hesitantly, he got dressed, at first taking his time because he wanted to see if you would say anything else, but he soon realized you wouldn't and swiftly zipped up his jeans and threw on his pullover.

When he sat on the bed and bent down to put on his socks and shoes, he felt like you were looking at him from behind, but when he stood up, you were standing by the window, looking down on the road while fiddling about with a loose thread on your curtain.

“Bye, see you around,” he said after a pause.

“Yeah, see you,” you replied, forcing a smile as you glanced at him before he walked towards the door, raising his hand to wave, but you had already turned away. With a sigh, he closed the door behind him.

He had no idea what was wrong all of a sudden. You surely didn't mean to be rude, but he was going to wonder what was going on in your head for the rest of the day – perhaps for the rest of the week. Why would you ask him to leave in a less gentle tone than usual after you had spent a regular night together, listening to some records and chatting before having sex? He hadn't considered anything about it abnormal. In fact, it was the same as your other meetings since last year. You had even asked him to stay the night after you had originally only invited him for dinner and music, so why were you so pressed about him leaving before he was fully awake and oriented? Were you seeing each other too often? Did you want to continue seeing him at all?

[prclnivrstl]

a game of thrones, catelyn ii

"summer will end soon enough, and childhood as well."

this chapter was teeming with foreshadowing, and also catelyn tells us more about ned than he tells us himself.

like first of all we open in the aftermath of a fuck sesh in catelyn's room and she tells us all about how urgent it was. the man is stressed and has a lot on his mind.

ned absolutely does not under any circumstances wish to go south to be robert's hand. he doesn't particularly want to betroth sansa to joffrey either. i can't blame him after what happened to the rest of his family just fifteen years before. catelyn aside (until now), all southron entanglements his immediate family was involved in ended pretty horrendously for them. by which i mean, in terrible deaths. ned is quite certain that if he refuses, robert will have a hissy fit about it and then get the fuck over himself.

it's difficult to say if he is correct or not. in his chapter, the discrepancy between he and robert was quite clear. robert was visiting his bestie, and ned was visiting with his liege lord the king. so he could be correct, and he certainly does know robert better than catelyn does and ever could, but robert's line about jon arryn doing his duty to serve his liege lord and ignoring the fact that the man had basically fathered him causes me to hesitate.

it's also interesting that catelyn thinks of the foreboding omen of the antler in the direwolf's neck and still encourages ned to go south and to betroth sansa to joffrey? like ? girl what is you thinking? if this were a horror movie, she'd for sure be sending ned outside to see what that noise was. i can see both perspectives here - catelyn's being 'ned you cannot insult the king and also pls go play scooby doo mysteries and find what killed jon arryn' and ned's being 'all three of my family members who went south died for it, the south is dangerous, the lannisters are dangerous and unafraid to kill the hand of the king, and i should stay home where it's safe and mind my own damn business, sorry dear robert you're on your own'.

in ned's chapter, his feelings of inadequacy were briefly hinted at in his thoughts about brandon. catelyn just tells us straight up that not only is he still angsting about it a decade and a half later, but also brandon is still haunting their relationship. the even greater strain between the two of them is jon and his mother.

interestingly, she's actually not all that bothered that he 'fathered a bastard'. they hardly knew each other at the time, they spent a year apart, and she was busy having a newborn and didn't think much about her near-stranger husband. she'd been betrothed to brandon for like six years, getting to know him and expecting to marry him, and then while he was on the way to come marry her, he diverted his plans to rescue his sister, and then died and she had to marry his younger brother who had grown up elsewhere altogether. she and tywin lannister are alike in that they don't care what goes on behind closed doors as long as you don't embarrass them publicly with it.

catelyn observes that ned must have loved jon's mother fiercely. he did. he told us so in his own chapter. he said he loved her 'with all his heart'. interestingly, two sentences after she mentions ned's fierce love for jon's mother, she herself echos his words by saying that she had come to love ned 'with all her heart'. how interesting. something else interesting is his wording when it comes to speaking to cat about jon. he tells her to never ask about jon (because he cannot tell her the truth and does not want to be forced to lie to her), and that jon is his blood - not his son, but his blood. very clever ned.

i do think that ned is very trapped and frustrated with the jon situation. all he wants is for jon to be safe, loved, cared for, and amongst his family like he deserves. unfortunately, ensuring his safety by claiming him as a bastard son brings about catelyn's ire and the shame and othering that comes with being a bastard. no child deserves that treatment for their parents' choices, but least of all jon who isn't even ned's bastard and probably isn't even a bastard at all.

there's a lot of ominous 'winter is coming', but there is also a warning from catelyn to keep bran off the castle walls because he so likes to climb. how unfortunate that the danger of climbing walls has come to winterfell.

[i-am-baechu]

Chapter Four

Wishes (M) (Season One) 

Summary: After a long day of classes, Min Yoongi decides to take a break at the music hall that has become his second home. He walks in with his cigarette lit and his blank expression quickly changes when he sees a girl playing his piano. The moment their eyes meet, their lives become complicated and Yoongi blames himself for her future pain. Was the love we had honest? 

Genre: Gang au!, college au!,  strangers to enemies (one-sided), strangers to lovers, slow burn, friendships, romance, angst,  little comedy, and smut

Main pairing: Gang leader! Min Yoongi x Pianist! Reader 

Warnings: Explicit language, smut, mature themes, gangs, violence, smoking cigarettes, drugs, and alcohol usage 

Authors Note: Yoongi is a simp lol

⇜ Masterlist ⇝

Previously on Wishes

Joo Won's eyes widen at this and glared at him, “You're a gang leader...stay away from Y/N-”

“Shut the fuck up.”

The door opened and he was looking at the person that Joo Won told him to stay away from, “Yoongi? What are you doing here?” 

“Bambi? What are you doing here?” 

She tried looking past Yoongi’s shoulder but he blocked her view with the door. She looked at him with a confused look, “I’m here to see oppa...now answer my question, what are you doing here?” 

They stared at each other for what felt like hours until Y/N tried walking past him, “Bambi, can you just tell me why you're here?”

She rolled her eyes and looked at Yoongi, “I was worried about Joo Won.”

“Worried about what?” 

“The murder...it happened over here. I was worried about him, I had some therapy cards in case he needed it.”

Yoongi bit his lip, Fuck she's so kind, “How much do you know about the murder?”

She shrugged her shoulders and tried looking over his shoulder, “I just know it was a gang member...that’s it. Yoongi, why are you here?” 

Fuck what do I tell her, “I’m here-”

“We’re here because we're scouting the area and checking in on everyone.” 

Yoongi turned to see Jungkook giving her his signature bunny smile. She raised her eyebrow at this and glanced at Yoongi, “So if I ask unnie next door, she’s going to tell me that you talked to her?”

Yoongi could smack Jungkook at this moment but he kept his composure, “This is the first house we went to because I know you knew Joo Won.” 

Her face softened at the words and gave him a soft smile, “You visited Joo Won for me? That’s very nice of you.” 

Technically yes, “Yeah...Why are you looking into the murder, Y/N? It’s dangerous.” 

She scoffed at this and crossed her arms at him, “Do you think I’m stupid? Why would I look into a murder case, I’m not in Scooby Doo. I simply know it happened and I’m checking in on my friend. Now, can I come in?”

Jungkook watched the scene unfold before him and raised his eyebrow, “Feisty...” 

Yoongi sighed and nodded his head, “Yeah-”

Before he could finish his sentence, Y/N walked past him. Making Jungkook’s eyes widen at the scene. Usually, if someone did that to his boss, he would be dead but here is Yoongi standing there with a small smirk. Jungkook let out a small laugh making Yoongi’s head whip to him, “Looks like you met your match, boss.”

“Shut up, we have to make sure Joo Won doesn’t say anything.” 

Y/N walked into the kitchen to see a knife in the table. Her eyes widened and looked at Joo Won, “What the hell happened? Your dad is going to kill you!” 

Joo Won glanced over her shoulders for a brief second to see Yoongi glaring at him. He knew if he told her the truth he would be dead. He rubbed the back of his head and let out a small laugh, “I was just messing around.” 

“You better hope it doesn’t leave marks or your dad is going to be mad. Are you okay?” 

“I’m shaken up but I’ll be okay.”

She knew he was hiding something but she didn’t want to push it out of him. She nodded her head and rubbed his shoulder gently, “I have some therapist cards for you...you should go to one. Seeing a murder can change the way you think and can send you to a dark place. I don’t want that for you.” 

Yoongi watched Joo Won’s face turn red and he continued to glare. Jungkook glanced between Yoongi and Y/N until a lightbulb turned on, “Boss, is that Y/N? The girl that you wanted Namjoon to research on.” 

Yoongi sighed and looked at Jungkook, “You're so annoying today.”

“That means I’m right.” 

“Shut it. We need to talk to Joo Won about the murder...I’ll take Y/N away and you stay here to do the questioning.” 

“You just want to go on a date-”

Yoongi stomped his foot off Jungkook’s and glared at him, “Shut the fuck up. Now go.”

Y/N was about to say something but was stopped when she heard her name. She turned around and saw Yoongi giving her a smile (?). She raised her eyebrow and looked at Jungkook, “What?” 

“I want to take you out. Repayment for the noodles you bought me last week.”

“I can’t just leave Joo-”

“Noona, it’s okay. I was going to talk to him about it.”

She looked Jungkook up and down with a confused look, “What are you going to do?” 

“I’m studying to become a therapist, so I know how to talk to people under stress.” 

She glanced back at Joo Won with a frown, “Is that what you want?” 

Joo Won glanced at Yoongi who was nodding his head. Joo Won swallowed his spit and gave her a smile, “Yeah, I’ll be okay. Don’t worry. I’ll text you later.”

She nodded her head but she felt uneasy about everything. The atmosphere when she knocked on the door and the door opening felt tense. She didn’t think Joo Won knew who Yoongi was before the first meeting last week. She had so many questions but she didn’t want to overwhelm Joo Won so she just agreed with Yoongi. There was a feeling in her stomach but she ignored it, “Where are we going?” 

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders and looked outside, “That ruins the surprise.” 

“I don’t like surprises, especially from tyrants.” 

He rolled his eyes and started walking outside the house, “Just shut up and follow.”

“Please?” 

“Just shut up and follow, please.” 

She rolled her eyes and nodded her head, “Better, I guess. Especially from him. Bye Joo Won, text me later please.” 

Joo Won nodded his head, “I-I will.” 

She gave him one final look and nodded her head. Her flats clicked on his hard wooden floors and Yoongi couldn’t help but smirk to himself. No matter what she did, she always had this melody. Before Yoongi closed the door fully, he glanced at Jungkook and nodded his head. With that, the door was closed. Joo Won wished Y/N stayed because, with the way Jungkook was cracking his knuckles, he knew it wasn’t going to end well. 

Y/N and Yoongi walked along the sidewalk and she watched the petals fall. The soft pink flying through the sky until it hit the ugly gray was the perfect metaphor for the two. She glanced at him to see his eyes staring out with no emotion behind them. His pale skin tells a story, a story only a few knew. She quickly looked away when she was caught by him. He smirked at this and shook his head, “You can talk to me...you know?” 

“Do I know?” 

He raised his eyebrow and broke the stare, “You have a mouth, use it.” 

“How charming.” 

The silence hit them again but it was comfortable. They both stole glances as the pink petals fell before them. He stopped in front of an expensive restaurant and she glanced at him, “Isn’t this fancy for lunch?” 

“You're rich, isn’t this normal?” 

She scoffed and rolled her eyes, “There you go...I was waiting for you to say something about that.” 

Yoongi wanted to curse at himself for making her upset. He rubbed the back of his head and he felt nervous (?). He didn’t want her to be upset with him, especially when he wanted to take her out. Fuck, why is this hard? 

“That’s not what I meant...I was just joking with you.”

“I don’t like the joke. Stop making it.”

He nodded his head and looked at her, “I won’t do it anymore.” 

She glanced back at him with a raised eyebrow, “You promise?” 

“What are we six?” 

“Just promise me.”

“Fine. I promise.” 

She smiled at this and looked back at the restaurant, “I guess I’m hungry...let’s go before I change my mind.” 

She opened the door and left Yoongi standing there with a small smirk. This girl was something else and Yoongi liked it. Which isn’t a good thing. He opened the door and saw her talking to the hostess. Obviously, Yoongi knew the young girl, she was one of the member's younger sister, Yuki. She just turned eighteen and has a bright future, unlike her older brother. Yuki looked away and gave Yoongi a smile, “Oppa, welcome. I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“It’s good to see you, Yuki.”

Y/N looked between them and raised her eyebrow, “Is that how you get food here? You know someone.” 

Yuki looked at her with a raised eyebrow and opened her mouth to say something but Yoongi stopped her, “Yeah...You have to know someone to eat here. Yuki, can I have the table in the private room?”

“Of course, Yoongi. Follow me.” 

Y/N glanced at Yoongi with her eyebrows furrowed but nodded her head. The two followed Yuki and leaned close to his ear to whisper, “The private room? Are you trying to kill me?” 

“Why do you think I would kill you?”

“I don’t know, I barely know you.” 

“I wouldn’t kill you. Don’t worry about that.” 

They entered the room and she saw a single round dark wooden table in the middle of the room. The table was clearly meant for only two based on the two fine place settings and the two tall wingback chairs. The walls were midnight blue, the candlelight emitting from the middle of the table flickered against the dark blue of the walls. The room also had a few wall sconces offering a soft warm glow to the room. She turned towards him and shook her head, “No, I want a different room.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes and entered the room, “Come on Bambi. Hurry up.”

She rolled her eyes and glanced at Yuki, “Keep the door open.” 

Yuki covered her mouth and nodded her head trying not to laugh, “I will, don’t worry.” 

Y/N sat in the chair and watched Yoongi look through the menu. She looked closer to see that he was looking at the alcohol, “You're looking at alcohol...isn’t it early.”

“It’s never too early to drink.”

“It’s never too early to admit you have a problem but okay.” 

She pushed aside the alcohol menu and picked up the main menu. Yoongi decided to look at the menu to avoid his thoughts. He just stared at the menu because he knew what was on the menu, he was the one that picked it all out. He rubbed his forehead to see her reading the menu with her looking hard at the menu. 

“What do you feel like, Bambi?”

“Mmmm...I kinda feel like the lobster.” 

“Oh, the lobster. I think I’ll get the steak.”

The server brought out two trays in an orderly speedy fashion. The lobster set before her was steaming, the lobster already cracked for her so she would not have to fight it. It sat upon a bed of steamed mussels and greenery. The steak was also steaming. It was also paired with a classic baked potato of course that was stacked high with toppings. 

“The lobster is really good, it tastes better with this Chianti red wine.” 

She raised her eyebrow and let out a small laugh, “Do you eat here often, you freeloader?” 

He choked on his water causing some to spill on his jeans. He wiped his mouth with his napkin, “Did you just call me a freeloader?” 

“Do you want me to repeat it?” 

“No...I just know who...I know who owns this place. I actually helped him with the menu.” 

She nodded her head and took a bite of the salad under the lobster, “So you know how to cook? A college kid?” 

“Bambi, you love to judge a book by its cover.”

She shrugged her shoulders and looked at him with her head tilted, “You haven’t really opened the book so, what do you want from me?” 

“I just want to know more about you.” 

“Ask the question and I’ll answer it.” 

Yoongi dropped his knife and leaned forward with his hands under his chin, “Who is L/N Y/N?” 

“A college-”

“No, I don’t want that. I want you to be...poetic about yourself.” 

She rolled her eyes and sighed, “I’m a twenty-two-year-old that plays the piano with the melodies leaving my feelings each time I touch the white keys. I’m in love with painting because you can do whatever your heart wants. I’m a free spirit with a stubborn mindset. I have two lovely parents that love me and support me unconditionally. They can be overprotective at times but they love me.  That’s L/N Y/N. Now who's Min Yoongi?” 

“I’m just a college student that smokes.”

She stabbed her fork into the lobster and glared at him, “That’s it? You wanted poetry from me but that’s all you gave me?” 

“That’s all I am.”

“Bullshit. You want to know who I am but you don’t even give me a chance to know you. I only know your name and that you drink at unforgivable hours. You always show up where I am and you can’t even give me the same thing I gave you. I saw you at my friend’s house and you were acting like it was the most normal thing in the world. How dare you ask me who I am and when I ask the same, you give me nothing.” 

He shrugged his shoulders and took a bite of his steak, “There’s nothing about me.”

“If that’s what I get then you get nothing else.” She took a bite of her lobster and ignored his stare. What the hell was Yoongi supposed to say? “Hi I’m Min Yoongi, my parents were killed in a car accident and I was left alone until I was five. Got adopted by my friend's family and now I run a gang with my childhood friends.” If he said that, she would’ve fucking ran out the door and he wouldn’t blame her. He watched her eat away at the lobster and sighed to himself, “Y/N-”

“No, I want to eat my lobster without irritation in my body. The greatest gift you can give to someone is silence and I will be happy to receive that from you.” 

He let out a defeated sigh and nodded his head, “Fine.” 

The dinner was silent. The only sound you can hear is the fork hitting the white china plates as Yoongi kept glancing at Y/N. Y/N was irritated. Yoongi had the nerve to ask her these questions but can’t even reciprocate. He was the one at Joo Won’s house and he was the one that was always in the music room when she was. She just wanted to know who he was because...because she thought they had a connection. Not a strong connection but a small enough connection that they can have conversations. She even played the piano with him and she doesn’t do that with just anyone. 

She finished her lobster and wiped her mouth. Yoongi let out a small cough and looked down at the white cloth, “My name is Min Yoongi. I was adopted by my best friend’s parents when mine died in a car accident when I was three. His name is Kim Namjoon and he’s my brother. I also have five other friends who I consider brothers. I always liked the moon because no matter what the moon will always shine in the darkness and if the moon isn’t there then...there’s the stars. I like to think the stars are the moon’s safety net when it needs them.”

She stared at him and nodded her head. She leaned forward and placed her hand on his, “Thank you for sharing that. I’m sorry I snapped at you, I understand why you didn’t say anything to me. That must have been hard to say. It was insensitive of me.”

“No, I was the one that expected you to just tell me who you are without telling you who I was. It wasn’t fair for you...I-I’m sorry.” 

He glanced down at their hands and then at her face. He wasn’t used to this. The concern in her eyes and the softness of her hands. Every woman saw him as this gang leader and he only saw them as people to fuck. That’s it but here he was feeling something. It’s such a simple move, her hand on top of his. It’s such a small sign of caring that it made him feel seen. Seen by someone that was innocent in this world. Especially when she looked at him with the softness in her eyes and her lips always in that signature smile at him. He didn’t remember his mom’s smile but he would like to think she had the same softness that Y/N displays. 

Yuki walked in and smiled at the scene before her. She’s never seen Yoongi look so vulnerable before, it was nice to see him like this, “Yoongi, Jungkook called.” 

He quickly shook his head and glanced at Yuki, “Wh-What did he say?” 

“He said everything is done.” 

He moved his hand away from Y/N’s and took his phone out to see the texts from Jungkook. He nodded his head and looked at Y/N, “You ready to go?” 

“Jungkook checked the whole building. I appreciate that, you know...Joo Won, he’s kind and I worry about him.”

Yoongi raised his eyebrow and let out a small cough, “Why? Do you like him?” 

She let out a small laugh and shook her head, “No, he’s like my brother. He gets himself into things sometimes and usually, I have to help him out of it. I just want him to be okay.” 

I swear to god, if he gets Y/N involved, “He will be okay.” 

She nodded her head and stood up from the chair as he watched her. She put her hand out to him making him look at it with a confused look, “Take my hand. You look like you need some comfort.” 

He rolled his eyes and continued to stare at her hand, “And why is that?” 

“Even the moon and the stars need the softness of the clouds to keep them grounded.” 

The small smirk he had disappeared and felt his heart beat faster at this. He gently put his hand into hers and she smiled, “Let’s go. I’m guessing you're walking me home.” 

“I could walk you to Joo Won, if you want.” 

“I was going to see him later today. Let him relax after talking to Jungkook, you know, let him take a nap.”

Yoongi nodded his head and he watched her fingers intertwined with his. Her hands are what he thought the clouds would feel like. They walked out and everything felt like a blur. It felt almost normal. His hand in hers with the trees making the sun disappear above them. All the people walking past them but he didn’t even notice because he only felt her. At this moment, it was only her. He only felt her and he wanted to know more about her. The real question is, would she want to know the real him? He doesn’t even know the real him...how could he tell her who he is when he doesn’t even know? You would think being twenty-five, he would have something but no...he has nothing. 

Y/N stopped walking and glanced at the park, “Come on.” 

“What?” 

“We're going to the swings and sit.” 

“You really think we’re six.”

She let go of his hand and crossed her arms over her chest, “Some of the best talks are in the parks so, we're going to have that today. Let’s go, Min Yoongi.” 

“Fine, lead the way, Bambi.” 

She took off her shoes and walked into the sand and he followed her. They placed their shoes next to them as she stared at the trees, “When I was six, I was so scared to climb the monkey bars. I didn’t want to fall because if I fell then that would mean I failed. My dad told me, sometimes falling is the greatest thing you can give yourself. When you fall, you have to try to get up because you don’t want to be left alone on the ground. When you were talking to me...for the first time I saw emotions in your eyes. It was the same emotions I felt that day.”

He raised his eyebrow and glanced at her, “And what was that?”

“Fear...sadness...all the bad emotions. It was the first time that your eyes told me anything. Thank you for trusting me with that information.” 

He let out a cough and looked away before their eyes could meet, “It’s fine...you seem like a trustworthy person.” 

“You do too...you can trust me Yoongi. If you're going to keep showing up in my life, we should start somewhere.” 

“I like that...” 

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Y/N walked back to Joo Won’s apartment and knocked on the door. She waited yesterday and Joo Won’s neighbor came out to take out trash and she smiled at her, “Unnie!” 

“Ah, Y/N. Did you get talked to by that young man this morning? He was checking in on me, it was kind of him.” 

Y/N smiled to herself, He really did check in on them. “I’m glad, did he make you feel safe?” 

“He did. He was handsome, Y/N. When are you going to get a boyfriend?”

Y/N rolled her eyes and shook her head, “I’m focusing on school and my career right now.” 

“Too young to do that. I’ll see you later.” 

“Bye, unnie.” 

The door opened and Joo Won gave her a nervous smile. She raised an eyebrow and looked over his shoulders. There was a group of men sitting in his living room smoking and she didn’t recognize them. She looked at Joo Won and shook her head, “What did you do?” 

“Y/N, it’s nothing okay. Go home, okay?”

She glanced over his shoulder but Joo Won moved to cover the living room. She sighed and shook her head, “Why do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Do stupid things and then expect other people to fix it. You do realize there’s people that care for you.”

Joo Won sighed and shook his head, “Listen, you wouldn’t understand. Just leave.” 

“I could understand-”

“Y/N just get the fuck out. Please.”

She glared at him and scoffed, “Don’t ask me to help you.” 

Before he could answer, she walked away. Not wanting to hear his excuses. She ran out of the building upset and she turned around to look at the building with a frown, “Joo Won...please be careful.” 

She started to walk down the street when she heard her name behind her. She didn’t recognize the voice and she was hesitant to turn around but the voice got louder. She turned around to see Jungkook giving her a wide smile, “Oh, your Yoongi’s friend. Hello.”

Jungkook gave her a smile and rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah, sorry that we didn’t get to have a proper introduction. I’m Jeon Jungkook.” 

She smiled at him and gave him a nod, “I’m L/N Y/N. It’s a pleasure.”

Jungkook glanced at something and looked back at her, “Do you want to come with me? Yoongi is just drinking with the rest of the guys. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind.”

“Guys? I’m going to be the only girl...that sounds dangerous...” 

Jungkook let out a small laugh and shook his head, “You have nothing to worry about. Yoongi wouldn’t let you get hurt.” 

“Should I be flatter?” She was joking but seeing Jungkook’s eyes told her that it was true. She took out her phone and looked back at Jungkook, “Let me text my parents...I’m going to be late and I don’t want them to worry.”

“Okay, does that mean you're coming?” 

“Jungkook, I’m texting my parents that I'm going to be late. The answer is yes.” 

“Yeah, Jungkook use your brains.” 

She glanced over to see a new face looking at Jungkook with a small smirk. Of course he’s smoking and she rolled her eyes, “Do all of you smoke?”

The man took out his cigarette and nodded his head, “Problem?”

“I mean, in the medical field, yes, it is a problem.”

“Are you L/N Y/N?”

She sent her mom a heart emoji and rolled her eyes, “Maybe. Why?”

“Cause Yoongi said you were feisty but I wouldn’t think you were at the same level as him.” 

Jungkook let out a small laugh and nodded his head, “Hyung, she even walked past Yoongi and he didn’t do anything.” 

He raised his eyebrow and looked at Y/N, “Kim Namjoon.” 

It’s Yoongi’s best friend...”L/N Y/N.”

Namjoon smashed the cigarette against the sidewalk and looked at her with a smile, “Better?” 

“Much better.” 

“Now, are you coming or not?”

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Tag List:

@hopefulrascalstatesmantoad @secfir @amberpanda99

[kissingkiszka]

The Sweet Symphony - Chapter Eight: Dreams & Nightmares

Jake Kiszka x Reader series

Words: 3.2k+

Summary: Tour is just around the corner, and reader is letting her anxiety get the best of her

CW: MDNI, 18+, anxiety/anxiety attack, mentions of cheating, nightmares, angst, I guess abandonment and trust issues? I think that’s all but this is a pretty sad chapter I’m sorry in advance😃👍🏻

Masterlist

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"Good luck out there." you give Jake a confident wink. It's the fifth show on tour, and they're about to go on stage. He ignores you, turning back to his brothers. You reach for his shoulder, wanting him to look you in your eyes.

To your dismay, he pulls back, freeing his shoulder of your touch. He has his guitar clutched in his hand, tightening his grip with the fist he makes underneath your touch.

He turns to you, his voice laced with disgust. "It was a mistake bringing you here."

"What? Why?" confusion comes over your face. "Where is this coming from?"

"You're no longer a good fit for us, and frankly y/n, I'm starting to get quite bored of you." He waves his free hand in your face motioning you to get out of his sight.

"What do you mean? I thought we were supposed to make it?!" frustration fills your voice, and a lump forms in your throat.

"Go away! I'm supposed to be on stage any minute now!" he continues to shout at you in a way you've never seen before. His eyes are full of darkness and regret.

You begin to walk away before being stopped by him one last time. Tears rolling down your cheeks by the second.

"Oh, and I've been fucking so many other girls, all pleasing me much better than you ever have."

"How could you say that to me, Jake?" you swing around to defend yourself, but he's gone. He disappeared just like that.

You gasped for air, launching forward in your bed. You were in a full body cold sweat, still trying to catch your breath. You clutched your white duvet, trying to pull yourself back to reality, but nothing seemed to work. It felt like your whole world was crashing down on you. You couldn't lose Jake, even though he's still not yours to lose.You stumble out of bed and onto your feet, Reaching for your phone on your bedside table. Your legs are struggling to carry you to the bathroom. Is coming on tour with them a mistake? Is Jake even serious about you? Is he gonna find other girls on tour? Thoughts racing around your mind and you weren't able to slow them down. This man was beginning to consume your life. Unlocking your phone, you tell Siri to call Jake. You put the phone on speaker as you try to splash cool water on your face to help ground you. The tears are just not stopping their escape from your eyes.

"Hello?" you hear a half tired and half concerned Jake greet you over the phone. "Y/N? Is everything okay? It's 4 a.m."

You attempt to catch your breath so you can respond to him but fail. You wipe your tears, even though more just continue to fall.

"Are you alright? You're breathing really heavily." He questioned, his voice changing from a tired tone to a frantic one.

No Response.

"I'm on my way."

You don't even have a chance to say anything to him before your hand flies to the phone. Hanging up on him. Shit. You couldn't even get a single word out.

Jakes POV

I hopped in my car, not wanting to waste any time changing so I opted for a white wife beater and my handy gray sweatpants. I am worried out of my mind for Y/N. She sounded so distressed over the phone, I just hope I can help her through whatever happened. What really got to me the most was the fact that she had hung up on me. I'm not one to pray, but I found myself praying that she was okay. I raced to her house, getting there in almost no time partly because I did run multiple red lights and stop signs. I crossed my fingers that there were no police watching, and luckily I didn't come across any. I sprung out of my car, turning off the engine and slamming the door shut. I ran up to her front door and opened it with ease.

Huh, I thought I locked it.

I can hear her sniffles coming from her bedroom upstairs. I don't know what is going on, but no matter what it is, I have to be there for her.

"Y/N?" I calmly called out, letting her know of my arrival. "Sweetheart, what's going on?"

I watch as she timidly steps out into the hallway. She makes a point to keep her distance from me. Her cheeks are swollen and tear stained, her eyes are bloodshot and her body is slightly shaking.

"It's just me, baby, what happened?" I ask her in my best attempt at a sweet voice, continuing to approach her.

Her breathing is still unsteady. I need to do something about it. Get her to calm down. I approach her slowly and steadily, my arm gently resting on her lower back.

"Why don't we go sit down?" I gesture to her bed, guiding her to sit down. It'll be easier for her to tell me what happened if I sit down with her. I'm trying my absolute hardest to get her to open up, while also remaining calm. I hope it's working.

Her eyes jolt up to mine. She musters up the courage to croak out a few words.

"I had a dream..." she stammered. "You were in it and you, you...we were on tour and…" she hesitated. My grip on her back grew more firm to comfort her, but I see her scoot backwards in retaliation.

"Woah, what happened in this dream?" I pull my hand back. "You can tell me, I'm not gonna hurt you." I smoothly attempt to put my hand on her shoulder to comfort her once more with some added caution this time.

She sniffles, looking down at her feet. She takes a deep breath, and then stares directly into my eyes. "You told me it was a mistake bringing me on tour. You were hooking up with other girls. Jake, it all felt so real. Too real.” Her face scrunched as her tears grew into sobs.

I feel my heart break in half as those words leave her lips. I would never do anything to hurt her. I can't help but think that she is so beautiful when she cries. No matter what this woman does, she still outshines anyone else I had ever laid eyes on before.

She sobbed into my chest. I could feel her shaky breaths against my tear stained tank top.

"Y/N," I say softly, feeling my heart break even further. "I would never do that to you. That was only a nightmare. I would never, ever, hurt you."

I watch as she pulls away from my chest and gives me an unconvincing nod. She adjusts her position so she's propped up against her headboard and I follow suit.

"Here, grab my hand if you need proof. This is real, your nightmare wasn't." I offer my hand for her to take.

I feel my cold, large, and calloused hand intertwine with her warm, small, and soft hand. I give her hand a squeeze to help ground her. "I'm not going anywhere, darling." I whisper.

We lay there together for a few moments before her tears start to dry. She lets her hand slip out of mine and rolls over to face the wall.

"What's on your mind?" I softly ask her. I don't want to pry, but I know her thoughts are racing around a mile a minute in that brain of hers.

"Jake.." she starts. "I don't know if coming on tour with you is a good idea."

I feel a lump form in my throat. I need her there.

"Baby," I inhale a deep breath to prepare myself for the worst. "Why not?"

She sighs. "I just, my boss said it's perfectly fine if I go..." her voice becomes shaky. "But I'm not sure that I'm ready for this commitment."

If my heart wasn't broken yet, it sure as hell had broken now.

"I feel like you're making a mistake bringing me. You're going to regret it, I just have a feeling."

"A mistake?!" My eyes go wide. “I was 100 percent sure when I asked you to go, and I'm 100 percent sure that I still want you to go. There is nothing I would regret." I take a deep breath. "Sweetheart, it's going to be a blast. We're planning on taking a break in the middle of tour and going on a cabin trip. We will travel all around the country. I want you there. Hell, I need you there."

I knew I needed her there.

"I would love to have you there, not only so you can make my hair look all pretty, but so you can keep me company. It gets lonely on those tour buses, but really, all I need is you. Imagine us traveling the country together."

All I wanted was her by my side when I had to hit the road.

She remained silent for the next few moments. I just continued to lay there, ready for her whenever she wanted to speak. The air around us grew tense, and I have a gut feeling that my persuasion did not necessarily work. A pit of anxiety formed in my stomach as I waited for her to finally say something.

Her head sunk further into the pillow and I knew what I would hear next was going to ruin me.

"I need to think about it." She finally spoke up. "I, I just don't know yet."

I was absolutely destroyed, but I couldn't show it. I had to be strong for her and couldn't show her just how much I was let down.

"Take your time." I say with a disappointed nod. I felt guilty in a way. She thinks I would invite her, just to hook up with other girls and ultimately ignore her? I must be doing something wrong. I decided right then and there that I was going to get my act together and really show up for her.

"Do you want me to lay here with you for a bit?" My mind raced with thoughts. Did she want me to leave right away? Did she want space? Did she want me to spend the night? If she wants me to spend the night, could I fix all of this in the morning?

"Up to you." She shrugged unenthusiastically.

I laid with her for a few more moments. It was her house, it's not up to me to determine if I should stay or not. Her eyelids flutter closed and then soft snores came from her soon after. I was going to give her space. It was probably what she needed most. She needed to think on it and me being here wouldn't help her decision. Yeah, I could probably influence her to come with us, but I didn't want to mess up my chances. I quietly slipped out of her bed and made my way towards her bedroom door for the second time that night. Just hours earlier I was here, tucking her in. It felt like a dream, I knew it was too good to be true.

"Sleep tight my love." I whispered even though I knew she wouldn't be able to hear me. "I hope you decide to come, I don't know how I'll manage the tour without you."

I had only been with her for a little over 2 months now, but she had quickly grown to become the only thing I knew. I walked down her staircase, my hands filled with despair as they gripped the wooden banister. I left her home, making sure to lock the door on my way out.

Once I pull into my driveway, I waste no time opening the center console of my car and pulling out a blunt I had put there earlier-for safe keeping. The feeling of regret sunk into my bones as I lit the blunt in between my two fingers. Smoking was a habit I was trying to break, but this situation just called for a little something to help ease my stress. My fingers shake as I bring the blunt up to my lips once more. I squeeze my eyes shut as a few tear drops begin to roll out of my eyes. I couldn’t lose her. Not now. I hadn’t hardly known her for long, but she has begun to be the only thing I do know. I wouldn’t know how to live without her. I don’t think I could bear the tour, being a stranger to all these new cities without a familiar face by my name. Not just a familiar face, but a loved one as well. I attempt to dry my tears with my tank top. I had to remain calm.

I only managed to take a few hits of the blunt before I realized that the night had quickly slipped away and the sun was already beginning to rise. I put my blunt out way too soon, the high had just started to hit and I wanted to get just a little bit of sleep in before rehearsal later in the day.

I laid in my cold bed, thinking back on the whirlwind that was the past few hours. I mostly regretted leaving her there. I should have slept next to her, talked to her in the morning. Maybe I could have changed her mind, or encouraged her to go on tour. The 'what ifs' controlled my mind until the exhaustion took over my body and I eventually was able to drift off. I had seriously debated going back to her house, jumping back in bed with her, and never letting her go again. But this isn't some type of fairytale, this is reality. She asked for time to think, so that's what I'm gonna give her.

Y/N'S POV

You awoke the next morning feeling well rested. The entirety of last night felt like one big dream-or perhaps a nightmare. Glancing around your bedroom, you felt all too alone. Jake was nowhere to be seen. You figured he probably left after you fell asleep. Why didn't he stay though? It felt very unlike him to just leave. A part of you felt disappointed, you wished he would have stayed, and fought for you. But you had no right to feel disappointed either, you were the one who sent him free. It was his choice to leave or stay, and he chose leave.You spent the entire day worrying if you were making the wrong decision. You would have done everything to go on tour with him, and you just don't understand why you feel like this all of a sudden. Neither choice felt right. It was for the better that he didn't spend the night, right? You just needed to think, and weigh out all the pros and cons.

You decided to make some breakfast and listen to some music. Music was the one thing that always helped to clear your mind. As you reach for your record collection, your eyes dart to a certain record in particular. The Essential Elvis Presley.

It was something you were trying to avoid, but somehow you felt compelled to listen to it in that moment.

As you cracked an egg into a pan, the vinyl began to play one of your favorites. Love Me Tender. You listened to the melody and couldn't help but dance around the kitchen as your sunny side up eggs continued to cook. The most prominent thought in your mind was when Jake bought you the very record that you were dancing to. But more importantly, what he said to you as he was purchasing the record. His words echoed in your mind.

"Now everytime you play it, you'll think of me."

And you were doing just that.

As the song went on, you found yourself picking apart every single lyric. You were finding a way to relate each and every lyric to your situation.

"Take me to your heart for it's there that I belong and we'll never part."

You didn't want to part with Jake. You belonged with him.

"All my dreams fulfilled, for my darling I love you and I always will"

This tour was his dream. He wanted you by his side to further fulfill it. Realizing this somehow made your heart full and break at the same time. He just wanted love, he wanted you to love him. And it was somehow the easiest but the hardest thing for you to do.

As you were finishing up eating your eggs another one of your favorites began to play. Suspicious minds.

"We're caught in a trap, I can't walk out because I love you too much, baby, why can't you see what you're doin' to me when you don't believe a word I say?"

You once again found yourself listening closely to the lyrics and yearning for Jake. Daydreaming about him like a little school girl. But then, you realized, could you even trust him? You could find yourself relating every line of the song to your current situation once again. You couldn't walk out, you liked him far too much to leave him now. You were too deep in to leave.

You took a deep breath. Okay. You just needed to listen to Jake. Believe in him and his words. Just like the song said.

You snapped out of the song, your eyes jolting over to the clock.

Shit.

8:03

You were supposed to be at work 3 minutes ago.

Day by day went by, and the month before tour quickly became a week before you knew it. Your choice was still becoming clear. You hadn’t had contact with him since that night.

You were driving home from work, and you finally decided. This was just a risk you had to take. Once you pulled into your driveway, you reached for your phone that was sitting in the cup holder.

Your finger hovered over Jakes contact. You hesitated a bit, but you knew deep down this was the right choice. You took a deep breath as the phone rung a few times.

You were met with a voice after the phone rung a few times. You were soon met with Jakes voice.

“Hello?” He answered, his voice groggily.

“Hi, Jake.” You said shyly. “I'm sorry I kinda ghosted you. I really needed that time to think. So, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. And, um, I would love to go on tour with you. If you’ll still have me, of course.”

“Of course we’ll have you. I’ll have you any day.” You heard him smile to himself over the line. “And, no need to apologize for taking time for yourself.” He truly sounded sincere, and you couldn’t even begin to believe you even had the tiniest amount of doubt about him.

You giggled quietly, you were so lucky to have found him. Not someone like him. Him.

“Are you still good to be our hair stylist?”

“Mhm!” You exclaimed, more than ready to go on tour at this point.

“Good, good. We leave in a week, I don’t know if we would have survived without you to style our hair. Oh god, Josh already started planning on cutting his own hair. Can you imagine?” He laughed, thinking about his twin brother. The excitement built up in your stomach just thinking about being on the road with them.

“So y/n, you’re sure? You’re coming on the road with us?”

You nod to yourself, partly in disbelief at what your life is now and partly out of excitement. “I’m choosing the road.”

Tag List:

@gretnavannfleet @theweightofjake

[tessa-liam]

Turning the Page  

Chapter 3 – Regrets 

Choices, The Royal Romance, AU

Series Premise: As Riley Brooks journeys through life as a single parent in New York City, an epiphany strikes as she contemplates the future for herself and her two-year-old son. 

Turning the Page Masterlist 

Main Pairing: Liam Rys x F!MC Riley Brooks 

All characters belong to Pixelberry, except William Brooks (Rys) and Matteo Magro, who belong to this series. 

Category: On-going series, contains angst/fluff/depression 

Rating: M🔞Warnings - crude language – not Beta’d - please excuse all errors. 

Words: 2487 

Turning the Page 

Regrets – Chapter 3 

Chapter Summary: Maxwell meets William for the first time as Riley continues to confide her truth to her Cordonian friend. Olivia attends a Royal council meeting at Liam’s invitation. Madeleine announces her pregnancy.  

Music Inspiration:  I Want to Know What Love is, Foreigner 

A/N1: In this alternate universe, after King Constantine orchestrates two individual scandals to humiliate and entrap Riley Brooks and Olivia Nevrakis in shame, Madeleine Amaranth secures her position as the Queen of Cordonia. Riley, as the King’s mistress and Olivia, in self-imposed exile. Tariq is never found. 

A/N2: My submission for @choicesflashfics, Week #51, Prompt 1 – "There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for you.” 

A/N3: My submission for @choicesseptemberchallenge2023, @midnightmelodiz, Day 30 – Home, Heart, “I’m here for you. Always.” 

Brooklyn Heights, New York City 

The tapping sounds of rain pelting on her bedroom window startled her awake. Her eyes fluttered open as she tried to get her bearings. The last thing she remembered was crying herself to sleep after talking with Maxwell. 

Riley glanced at her clock on her bedside table, 2:30 a.m. She sighed and laid her head back on the pillow. She closed her eyes, hoping that sleep would take her, but it did not. Instead, her thoughts returned to the conversation she had with Maxwell the previous evening. 

‘He misses you so much. He is not the same without you.’ 

The rain picked up its pace, now pounding against the glass with intensity. Riley rolled over and gazed at the window, watching the droplets slide down the pane. 

‘You have no idea how much he loves you.’ 

Just like last night when speaking with Maxwell, her tears fell once again. 

‘He’ll be happy to know that you came back. That you want him too.’ 

Riley jumped when the thunder roared, and a flash of lightning filled her room with light. That is when she heard Li’s little voice from down the hallway; he was crying.

“I’m coming, Li Li.” 

Riley climbed out of bed and quickly threw on a robe before heading towards his room.  

Approaching his bed, she cooed, “Hey, little one.”  

“Did the storm wake you?” 

William sniffled and held his arm out to her; his other arm wrapped tightly around his Scooby-doo plushie. 

Riley smiled and scooped him up, cradling him close to her chest. 

“Don't worry, I’m here for you. Always.” 

Riley rocked him in her arms, gently swaying side to side as he laid his head against her shoulder. Once William fell back to sleep, she tucked him back into his bed. 

“Mommy loves you very much,” she whispered.  

"There isn’t anything that I wouldn’t do for you.” 

Riley once again felt tears stinging her eyes. 

“I love you, Li,” she breathed, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.  

Thinking of Liam, Riley crumbled to the floor. The memories and guilt overwhelmed her once more. 

Cordonian Royal Palace, Capital, Cordonia 

It was early Wednesday morning when Liam sat down with Regina for an early breakfast in the dining room. Today, the Royal council was set to meet with a new member; which will be an interesting surprise for the members. 

Liam smiled to himself as he stirred sugar into his black coffee and looked across the table at Regina. He could sense that something was on her mind and was surprised when she told him that Madeleine wanted the press conference re-scheduled for Friday afternoon. 

“Friday, why so soon?” Liam challenged his stepmother. 

Regina looked at him with a stern expression. 

“Liam, the sooner you and Madeleine make a public statement, the sooner the rumors will stop.” He was aware of the rumblings at court. 

Liam scoffed. “The rumors? We are not having a child!” 

The final time he told Madeleine that he would never consummate a child with her, she decided to conceive a child with her lover. As per the Cordonian arrangement that was legally agreed upon, any child born outside of the Royal marriage would become the heir under the Queen’s guardianship. 

Madeleine was well aware of the one stipulation that the King had added to this contract. Liam had the definitive authority to legally name his heir.  She also knew he would also be expected to abide by his duty as monarch and produce an heir. 

“Liam, I understand that this is a sensitive topic for you. But it is imperative that you perform your duty as King and husband. Regardless of how you feel about her, the rumor has already spread through the nobility that you are unwilling or unable to produce a child. With Madeleine now pregnant, the two of you need to come forth through the media to the people of Cordonia. We need to put a stop to the rumors before it gets out of hand.” 

Liam squared his shoulders with a warning expression. 

“I am the King; my birthright. If I say the rumors are false, they are false.” 

“And the people will believe you, but the nobles will not. They will continue to question your ability to produce an heir.” 

“Then let them question. It is not their concern.” 

Regina sighed and folded her hands on the table, “Liam, please. This is important and...” 

“Enough!” Liam slammed his fist down and stood up menacingly. 

“If you are concerned about the image of the crown, then I suggest that you recommend to Madeleine that she must address the nobles at court herself. Let her explain the decision she made; let them see her for what she is for themselves.” Liam spat. 

“I am not concerned about the image of the crown, Liam. I am worried about you. Ever since Riley disappeared, you have been miserable.” 

Liam didn’t reply. Preferring to remain silent, he knew she was right. 

“I have spoken to Drake,” Regina continued. “He agrees with me. The only time you smile is when you talk about Riley. It has been almost three years. You need to let go of her and move on. You have a kingdom to rule.” 

Liam’s jaw tightened at her words. 

“Regina, I know you mean well, but I cannot do that; I will not do that. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a meeting to attend.” 

Liam bowed to Regina and turned towards the grand staircase. Climbing the staircase two steps at a time, at the third level, he turned to the right towards his study. 

Brooklyn Heights, New York City  

Cracking another egg into the bowl of ingredients, Daniel began to quickly whisk the pancake batter while the griddle got hot. Looking up to see Riley carrying William into the kitchen, he stopped stirring to rush over to pick up his Godson. 

“Good morning, buddy. How are you today?”  

William laughed excitedly, “dan dan!” As he wrapped his arms around Daniel’s neck, Riley sat down at the kitchen table after pouring herself a cup of coffee. 

“Are you going to watch me make pancakes?” William nodded and let Daniel seat him in his booster seat next to Riley. “How is Mommy doing, buddy?” 

Daniel looked over at Riley who sat looking out the large kitchen window next to the table. She was in deep thought and when she heard the familiar voice greet Daniel, she turned towards William. 

It was past midnight when the trio arrived back at the brownstone after walking home from the pier. Daniel had invited Maxwell back home to stay and crash, instead of him having to cab back to his hotel. 

Considering there were plenty of words left unsaid, Maxwell agreed quickly in the hope of learning more about his friend. She was clearly struggling; he was genuinely concerned about Riley’s state of mind. His heart broke watching his friend last night; she looked so defeated. Her ‘bright light’, snuffed out. 

“Good morning,” Maxwell sing-songed, but stopped abruptly in the doorway upon seeing the little blond-haired boy sitting beside Riley. 

“Hey, Max. I hope you are hungry.” Daniel acknowledged and invited him to sit. 

“Thank you... yes, I am starving.” Riley slowly raised her eyes to meet his; “would you like some coffee?” 

Maxwell answered, “please and thank you, little blossom.”  

As Maxwell looked at the little boy once more, time stood still. He was frozen in place staring at the little boy drinking from his sippy cup. Max's mouth open... he was speechless. 

“This is Liam’s son. His name is William.” Riley whispered, her voice trembling. 

The resemblance was uncanny – the same piercing blue eyes, the same hair color, the same expressive features. 

The boy was undoubtedly Liam’s son; a mirror image of his father, back in time. 

Maxwell’s heart skipped a beat. He remembered Riley’s heartbreak as he held her in Bossina cathedral as the newly married King and Queen passed by, walking back up the aisle.  

Liam, his childhood friend, had devastated Riley’s world the night he chose another. 

The scandal and shame she had to endure during the engagement tour.

He remembered the pain in Riley’s eyes when she announced that she would stay in Cordonia as his mistress. Just to remain in his life and to live as a secret; she would be bound by a cordonian agreement. 

And now, standing in front of William, he understood why Riley disappeared; leaving Liam and Cordonia behind.

William looked up to Maxwell with those familiar eyes, a mixture of curiosity and uncertainty in his gaze. 

Maxwell knelt beside William at eye level and smiled warmly.  

“Hey there, William. It's a pleasure to meet you.”  

William hesitated for a moment, but then gave Maxwell a tender smile, mirroring his father's charm.  

Riley went on to explain her dire situation to Maxwell. That Madeleine, if she found out about William, could and would threaten to take him away from her.  

That was why she called upon Maxwell for help, knowing that he was the only person she could trust to keep her secret and remain a connection to Cordonia.

Maxwell's mind raced as he tried to figure out a solution. He could not bear to see Riley go through more pain. And he could not ignore the innocent child who had unknowingly become a potential pawn for Madeleine.  

“We'll find a way, Riley." Maxwell assured his friend.  

"William deserves to know his father. And you deserve to remain part of his life and Liam's.” 

Maxwell sat beside Riley and wrapped his arms around her as more tears flowed. 

Maxwell couldn't help but think that William was not just a split image of his father. But also, a reflection of the love that will always exist between Riley and Liam. 

Royal Council Meeting 

The silence was deafening. 

Then, the murmurs began. 

As Olivia Nevrakis confidently strode into the boardroom and settled into her seat on the left-hand side of the King, she exuded an air of self-assurance. Her posture was erect, and her green eyes held a determined gleam. Olivia was known for her ambition and determination, and she was unapologetic about her presence in the room. 

When Queen Madeleine walked into the room, her regal presence commanded attention. The murmurs circulating the room were at once silenced as her gaze swept over the attendees, her expression initially neutral but with a discerning eye. 

When her eyes settled on Olivia, a storm seemed to brew within her. A flash of irritation crossed Madeleine’s features and her brow furrowed. It was clear that something about Olivia's presence had struck a nerve. In a moment of tense confrontation. Queen Madeline 's voice cut through the room.  

“You," she spat. Her tone sharp and commanding.  

“Leave this room at once.” Madeleine glowered unabashedly. 

Olivia, never one to back down from a challenge, met the Queen's demand with her own fiery resolve.  

“I have every right to be here, your majesty,” she retorted, her voice unwavering. 

“I am a member of this council by royal decree, and I will not be dismissed.”   

Liam watched with his hands steepled, seated with a stoic demeanor; observing the unfolding drama with keen interest. As king, and husband to Queen Madeleine, he had his own role to play in the proceedings. His impassive expression gave little away, but his trained, watchful eyes took note of the reactions of each council member to the unexpected clash between the Queen and Olivia. Notably, his queen’s subtle glances with her father, Godfrey, the Duke of Karlington. 

Clearing his throat, everyone turned to their King.

"Thank you all for your attention. The Queen has a statement to declare concerning her 'situation'. "

Madeleine spun around and glared at Liam. "Yes... yes I do."

Speakeasy, Duchy Domvallier, Cordonia 

In the heart of Duchy Domvallier, hidden behind an unassuming facade, lay the notorious Speakeasy known as the ‘Midnight Reverie’. It was a place where the world outside faded into obscurity, and where secrets were exchanged amidst the smoky haze of jazz-filled nights.  

A perfect getaway for King Liam and his trusted childhood friends, Drake and Rashad. The three of them had grown up together, forging an unbreakable bond that transcended their differences in station. Here, beneath the flickering candlelight, they could shed their titles and be ordinary men. 

Rashad started off the conversation. “Why did Beaumont fly to the States?” 

“He mentioned that he was going to a concert in Madison Square Gardens,” Drake responded. “He sends his regrets, though.” 

“Gentlemen, tonight feels like a night for confessions. Let’s start with our own regrets. Drake?” Rashad questioned. 

“My biggest regret is not completing my degree at University.” 

Rashad nodded in understanding, contemplating his own. 

“For me, it’s the time I spent chasing wealth and status instead of cherishing the moments with my family. Those are years I can’t get back.” 

Liam took a slow slip sip of his scotch, his eyes distant. 

“Regrets. I have many, but there is one that haunts me above all others.” He paused; his voice filled with melancholy.  

Drake and Rashad exchanged curious glances before urging him to continue.

“What is it, Liam?” The question asked even though they already both knew the answer.

 Liam's gaze was fixed on a distant point beyond the dimly lit room.  

“My greatest regret is not proposing to Riley on the night of my coronation; scandal be damned.”  

Drake and Rashad again exchanged knowing glances. 

“I thought I had to put my duty before my desires, so when the scandal was broadcast the night of the coronation. I chose another when I had already given my heart to Riley just as she had given her heart to me. When we couldn’t find Tariq to clear her name before the wedding, I listened to my father and the advisors and went ahead with the wedding. Instead of letting her go, I selfishly asked her to stay. But every day since, I have regretted that decision. I should have let her go."

Liam breathed deeply, "then she ended up leaving anyway.” 

Rashad offered a reassuring hand on Liam’s shoulder. 

“Regrets are heavy burdens, my friend. But perhaps it’s not too late to mend that old wound. Life is unpredictable.” 

Drake added, "perhaps, one day, you will get the opportunity to find her again, and be given the chance to re-write that story."

Thanks for reading���️

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