#hey everybody get a library card

[charliebot-art]

Did you know that Optimus Prime is the mascot for this year's library card sign up month (sept) through the American Library Association?

i didnt know that but thats so cute i love this 😭💖 op is such a huge nerd i know hed support this

went to look up the press release if anyone’s interested!

[mari-thesapphic-lady]

AAA's incorret quotes (+ Original Characters from my AU)

(Why did I do that? I have no idea, but it seemed fun)

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Rio: Agatha keeps fucking me and I can't remember the safeword, happily.

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Agatha: My skincare routine is not having feelings for men.

Alice: Look guys, I need help.

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Lilia: Are you getting enough sleep?

Agatha: Sometimes when I sneeze my eyes close.

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Jen: Love help?

Lilia: Financial help?

Agatha: Emotional help?

Rio: Help moving a body?

*Everybody looks at Rio*

Rio: What?

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Agatha: I'd kill someone if you asked me to.

Rio: I'm pretty sure you'd kill someone even if I didn't ask.

Rio: And mostly I don't ask.

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Tiger-Lily: You look like an angel.

Jen: Really?

Jen: Oh wait. You mean a biblical angel.

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Lilia: You remind me of the ocean.

Rio: Because I'm deep and mysterious?

Lilia: No, because you're full of salt and you scare people.

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Tiger-Lily: My mom is calling… Ey, mami.

Vidalia: Come on guys, stop. She's trying to talk to her mom.

Stephanie: *loud fake sexual noises*

Billy: EVERYONE SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Lyra: *is asleep*

Lily-Rose: *gets really close to the phone* Ey, mami.

(Lyra is one of Alice's second cousins, and Stephanie is a distant relative of Lilia)

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Tiger-Lily: Not since sharing a uterus with my twin sister have I been so unhappy sitting next to someone.

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Lily-Rose: The fastest way to a mami’s heart is through ch-

Agatha: Chest cavity.

Lily-Rose:

Lily-Rose: Cheese, mama. She loves cheese.

Lilia: Trust me, just tell Alice that you like her.

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Tiger-Lily: Remain CALM! *slaps Billy multiple times*

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Agatha: Yeah Jen, what's the worst that could happen?

Jen: I'm glad you asked!

Jen, taking out a huge binder: I've got a million different horrible scenarios in my head and written down a few.

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Alice: That’s illegal, right?

Rio: Why do you care? Are you a fucking cop?

Alice: Actually I was but-

Rio: Then shut the fuck up.

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Agatha, talking to Tiger-Lily: When I was your age-

Rio, mocking Agatha: When I was your height.

Agatha:

Agatha: Listen here you little shit-

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Rio: Wake up, nena! The sun is shining!

Lily-Rose: And...? What do you want me to do, photosynthesis? I'm not one of your plants! *angrily covers her head with blanket*

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Billy: Always stay positive!

Billy: *falls down the stairs*

Billy: Wow! I got down those stairs so fast!

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Tiger-Lily: I'm not some innocent little witch, okay?! I read romance books from the adult section of the library!

Agatha: You what?

Tiger-Lily: Uh, nevermind, mama, y'know, they're pretty tame, it's not-

Agatha: Let me see your library card now.

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Lily-Rose: The real reason Howl kept his castle moving was tax evasion.

Tiger-Lily: This may sounds like a joke but I read the book. This is the literal reason.

(For those who are wondering who Tiger-Lily and Lily-Rose are, they're Aradia and Abelia's middle names, almost everyone they have known since they were little calls them that)

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Agatha: Gasp! HOW DARE YOU CALL ME A LADY?!

Agatha: I'M A BITCH! Thank you very much!

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Rio: Lirio.

Tiger-Lily: Si, mami?

Rio: What’s sexting?

Tiger-Lily: ... I'm not having this conversation with you. ROSE, COME HERE!

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Lilia: Breathe, just breathe.

Billy: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!

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Rio: Awww, that never bothered you before.

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Agatha: We can't lose. Because we have this. *points to their chest*

Alice: We have heart?

Agatha: Heart? No, me. I'm pointing at myself. I'm going to win this for us.

Rio: So you like cats?

Agatha: Yeah.

Rio: *tries to impress her by slowly pushing a glass off the table*

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Lily-Rose: When you said 'Magic in Bed', I wasn't expecting this...

Stephanie: *pulls out card from deck* Now, was this your card?

Lily-Rose: Oh my-

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Rio: I’m not just some trophy wife, y’know.

Agatha: You’re a trophy wife?! What kinda contest did I win?!

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Jen: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Agatha: What’s up your ass this morning!

Alice: *walks in* ... Hey.

Agatha: Hmm… nevermind.

Tiger-Lily: *stops mug halfway* In front of my tea?

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Agatha: Dating me is fun

Rio: Yeah definitely is sweetheart

Agatha: You get a comedian, a mental patient and a pornstar all in one

Rio: I’m lucky, i know

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Jen: That's it. Are you done bitching?

Agatha: That was just a warm up.

Tiger-Lily: Good thing I brought some popcorn.

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Jen: I just want someone to take me out.

Alice: On a date?

Agatha: With a sniper gun?

Rio: Both if you're not a coward.

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Tiger-Lily, seeing the Wiccan outfit: I can't take you seriously wearing that.

Billy: Aw, you take me seriously at all?

Tiger-Lily: Fair point.

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Agatha: I wonder who’s ruining my life.

Agatha: *looks in the mirror*

Agatha: So we meet again.

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Lilia: Do you take constructive criticism?

Jen: No, only cash or credit.

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Billy: It’s beautiful outside this morning!

Alice: It’s 2AM.

Billy: It’s beautiful outside!

Lilia: We’re indoors.

Billy: It’s beautiful!

Agatha: It’s storming.

Billy: It’s!

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Agatha: sSSSHIT- I BURNT MY LIP-

Jen: Why the fuck would you even drink coffee with a METAL STRAW in the FIRST PLACE??

Agatha: BECAUSE WE WERE OUT OF THE PLASTIC ONES!

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Agatha: Fuck capitalism. it's a rigged system that keeps us poor and it isn't fair. You shouldn't need to work three jobs to afford basic necessities.

Agatha, playing monopoly: sorry, if you wanted to win you should have tried not being poor.

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Rio: I think we can be evil, as a treat.

Agatha: We?

Rio: We ;)

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Lily-Rose: I cut my finger

Lyra: I can kiss it so it'll get better

Lily-Rose: That works?

Lyra: Yeah? My mum used to do it when I was little

*later*

Lily-Rose: I need you to punch me in the mouth

Tiger-Lily: Fucking finally

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Agatha: Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming

Jen: Does anyone in this godforsaken group ever think before they speak

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Alice: Wait, I thought you could drive.

Agatha: I didn't learn yet. I'm busy witch!

Lily-Rose: I got it covered.

Alice:

Agatha:

Lilia:

Jen:

Alice: You're like, 15.

Lily-Rose: And?

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Rio: Where can I get your blood.

Agatha: It's free but you have to catch me.

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Lily-Rose: Dinosaurs aren’t extinct! I mean, mami’s still walking around.

Tiger-Lily, fighting back laughter: Pfft! Rose! That wasn’t nice!

Agatha: She isn’t wrong, though, hon.

Rio: *groan of frustration*

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Agatha: I'm emotionless!

Rio: Says the person who confessed to me while smiling, blushed while dating, and cried when we got married.

Agatha: Shit.

-

This a mess. I probably won't post another one of these, because probably almost no one will like it, but, yeah, it was fun.

[drdemonprince]

Hey Doctor Price!

Do you have any tips for how to stay sane while autistic with no privacy? I live in a one room college dorm with a freind and there's literally nowhere anywhere on my campus where I can have even 15 minutes alone without being on edge that someone will come in any second. I'm going nuts and struggling to cope :[

I was in a four person dorm room on a 50,000 student campus and suffered from overwhelm virtually all the time, and I had to compensate by learning to really scope out the places where privacy could be found, so I believe I have some relevant tips for you!

Locate the study rooms or study carrels that can be signed out for individual use, typically in the library. Keep a close eye on them and book them as often and as early as you can, as they tend to be booked up during finals quite quickly.

Scope out the computer labs and study areas in department-specific buildings and get a sense of their busy and fallow periods, especially ones that remain unlocked during the weekends. I worked in the Psychology Department computer lab as a work study student, and they were completely empty on the weekends. The Sociology Department's computer labs were also totally empty most nights and weekends too.

For that matter, find on-campus jobs that can get you some privacy, often lab monitoring or administrative jobs in smaller offices. One summer I worked at the front desk of the student newspaper, which was tucked away on the eighth floor of a massive building, and it got basically no business because it was the summer. I also worked as a Psych Department admin and hid myself away in the copy room and supply closet as often as possible. If a job gives you key card access to break rooms or bathrooms you might not otherwise be able to use, so much the better.

Find the bathrooms that are tucked far away from any heavy activity. Check out the basements, top floors, and down around the corners of long hallways, and near meeting halls that have to be reserved for special events. The Chemistry building had a weird, shitty women's restroom that had been converted from a supply closet across a long walkway connecting two buildings, and everybody hated it. That meant it was nearly always empty. In my old office in the Psych building at Loyola, there was a bathroom off the main hall that was busy, but then another that was up a half flight of stairs near a room that was only ever used for guest speakers. NOBODY used that bathroom. I spent hours in there curled up in the dark vaping.

Learn the rhythms of a building or area of campus so you can take advantage of slow periods. If a building only has one dedicated purpose, such as a massive lecture hall, try checking it out when you know there aren't any class sessions happening. If a building is only used for recitations but those are only on tuesdays and thursdays, check it out on a wednesday. I went to a big football school, so on weekends half the campus was absoultely crawling with sports fans, but the gyms were completely dead during that period.

Stairwells. Sit at the tops of stairwells. If a building has multiple sets of stairs, find one that's far off in a corner and then hike your ass all the way to the top floor. The southwest stairwell of Loyola's Information Commons is a place I've written whole essays in, and even attended Zoom meetings from, it's so quiet.

Learn you roomate's schedule. If you're on good terms, ask them to put their schedule up on a whiteboard where you can see it, and share your own. Both of you will want time alone sometimes, and coordinating can really help. If your'e on good terms you can text as well. If your roommate ever requests alone time to study or to fuck, you get to, too.

Find the totally useless neglected spaces by exploring a little. Some dorm buildings have a shared kitchen in the basement or an activity room with air hockey tables that nobody uses. Laundry rooms are good during off times. Because most campuses are in a perpetual state of construction, there's usually old union buildings or emptied-out department buildings that haven't officially closed down yet but have next to nothing going on in them. There's lots of small waiting areas by professor's offices in nearly every building. Try every door. Duck into available classrooms. You will get interrupted sometimes but the more you learn the countors of the place and its patterns the more mastery you will have, and the less stress you will feel about the possibility of being interrupted.

I know that you said there is nowhere for you to find privacy, Anon, but I promise you that is not true! I have been on 50,000 person campuses, 12,000 person campuses, and for a few years I worked on a 2,000 person campus. I was ALWAYS able to find tucked-away bathrooms, empty classrooms, tops of stairwells, and weird neglected study areas to find some peace in. You can too. Please explore and help yourself feel more in control of this stressful situation! Good luck and let me know how it goes.

[twistedpink]

(“Iron Legacy Anon”)

To fill in the gap between regular posts, we have another weird “Play By Post/Fanfic Hybrid” of another SOTM Custom Game… Assuming I can keep my motivation. I’m going to start by saying that the only custom about TWST made for SOTM is Riddle. So join us in “Feedback Loop” as we explore a new story in Night Raven College.

But first, oddly enough a casting call, because we will be having 7 billion custom characters… So naming their mechanical identities is important to me.

In turn order, we have our unknown villain played by/twisted from Miss Information, Deja Vu. A custom variant of the original that hopefully won’t kill me to death 7 times over.

Next up we Scarabia!Reader and Ignihyde!Reader, played by/twisted from The Librarians from Library of Ruina. (Smiling Faces’ book for Scarabia and Warp Cleanup Crew for Ignihyde)

Following them closely we have Savanaclaw!Reader, played by/twisted from Mainstay from the original games Void Guard expansion. (Specifically Road Warrior Mainstay)

After that we have Pomefiore!Reader, mechanically played by Pachait’s Rin Tohsaka custom.

Second to last in turn order it’s Disomina!Reader and Heartslabyul!Reader, played by/twisted from The Knight from the Cauldron Fan Expansion, specifically their Wasteland Ronin Variant.

And finally we have Octavinelle!Reader, played by/twisted from Void Guard’s own Doctor Medico. (From of course, The Void Guard expansion for the original game).

And of course, Night Raven College itself, mechanically played by Dungeons of Terror from the Cauldron expansion.

I think that’s far too much rambling for an opening, so here we go…

PRELUDE:

It was a snowy day at Night Raven College… None of our 7 participants of the local group project would think much of it, they weren’t special in anyway, just some regular students. [Octavinelle] had proposed the group for their journalism class, check out the strange ghost stories of recent in the school… The others were ok with it, with only [Pomefoire] expressing any doubts. Their time to keep up their fashion schedule was already stretched thin, and they personally doubted they could get their beauty sleep after this…

[Ignihyde], meanwhile, was quick to note that with all their clocks they could easily stop whenever they wanted to. [Scarabia] gave a chuckle and said to their sibling that “Everybody says that, but I’m not sure for how many it’s true.” before quickly extinguishing their cigarette and walking out through the snowstorm and into the previously abandoned Ramshackle Dorms…

[Disomnia] yawned, they had stayed up all night last night studying for tests… Sensing that their group project member might fall asleep, [Savanaclaw] lightly clawed at the soon to be sleeping knight. Who quickly responded… “Ah sorry! Right at your service…” They said, looking around… finding their fellow knight and upperclassman, [Heartslabyul] who chided them… “Hey, listen up kid. I understand if you’re tired just tell us, Ok?”. [Disomnia] nodded and the group continued to the center of the abandoned dorm.

In which, they found something… shockingly real.

TURN 1:

A spectral force proceeded to blow past them… Seeming intent on disarming them, removing a majority of their items and equipment. The group looked behind them shocked to see three ghosts malevolently staring at them… [Disomnia], believing they were seeing things… Stepped right up to a crying figure, seeing the figure shivering they put their hand to the figure’s shoulder and found the touch freezing as suddenly the figure’s breath turned icey and threatened to freeze the group… [Pomefoire] dashes into the way, getting caught in the icey blast alongside the two knights.

Not to be outdone, another ghostly figure seemingly made of cards began to unfold itself, violently spinning itself into everyone not hit by the cold. Suddenly, an imposing ghost grabbed all hit by the cards and redirected all their momentum from being flung back into themselves, smashing them against seemingly invisible walls… With [Ignihyde]’s magical time piece mysteriously activating, healing them and their twin.

[Ignihyde] stared a hole into their twin, [Scarabia]‘s chest… Upon [Scarabia] asking why that was, [Ignihyde] answered… “These ghosts… Since they are activating my pocket watch they aren’t real… They’re projections from another time…” almost as if it demonstrate, [Ignihyde] pulled out their pocketwatch and held it up to the imposing ghost and watched as it vanished… [Scarabia] shouted about why didn’t you do that earlier and [Ignihyde] sighed, saying they didn’t know earlier. Before both quickly began patching themselves up to deal with the other two time ghosts…

(So uhh, legitmately that turn was just using clues to do villain character card stuff and heal. I did manipulate discard pile, but that doesn’t make for good writing.)

[Savanaclaw] meanwhile, didn’t care about this ghost mumbo jumbo… They had jaws that could bite and the mer-crocodilian wasn’t going to let whatever incorporeal nature they had stop them from biting into them for smashing their stuff. The crocodilian quickly tore through the cards with gnawing teeth, feasting on the black ink inside. Before the two ghosts decided to fight back a little, but that just meant they could hit back harder… Quickly ensaring some remaining cards in their jaw and throwing it into the crying figure… Leaving both dazed and confused, [Savanaclaw] shouted… “ALRIGHT? YOU WANT ME?! COME AND GET ME!”, goading the ghosts to attacking them.

(For Tax Purposes, that was a Drop The Hammer into School of Hard Knocks.)

[Pomefoire], meanwhile was more annoyed about their stuff being destroyed… Pulling out their letter opener they quickly began to reassemble their lost potions… Keeping them close by their side… [Pomefoire] didn’t really care for the ghosts themselves as long as they didn’t attack them…

(For tax purposes, yet again, that letter opener is a Azoth Sword. I should probably do my taxes at the end of my posts.)

Meanwhile, [Disomnia] and [Heartslabyul] were internally panicking… Well, [Disomnia] was more so externally panicking but all’s fair in love and war… Including [Heartslabyul] suddenly reaching out and finding the still intact plate helm, handing it to [Disomnia]… Who feeling a little more comfortable suddenly charged into the fray and slashed at the two ghosts recklessly, almost getting themselves seriously injured… But not more than the amalgamation of cards, who fell to the reckless sweeping blade attack.

We cut to [Octavinelle], who is very annoyed that their classmates have somehow gotten into combat with ghosts. They sigh and quickly get to using their powers to control water, to create a shield around [Savanaclaw]… As much as they hate to admit it, they find them kind of cute, and wouldn’t want them to die a frivolous death to strange ghosts… So they keep working their magic, quickly having the water burst forth and gather up the scattered resources… Sending a little to [Heartslabyul] just to make sure they’re ok.

(For both of these turn’s tax purposes, it was infact extra-draw and not recursion from trash, unlike Pomefoire‘s actually recursion.)

[Scarabia] thought that the strange robotic figure probably was going to keep spewing ice at everyone… So they quickly got some abandoned tables and propped them down for cover, shouting: “Listen up you fuckers! Get behind cover if you wanna live!” In all actuality the tables couldn’t do much to stop the attacks, but reducing the harm was very nice for everyone.

However, what if that little harm it takes was enough to trigger a horrible omen… Something so dangerous that just a scratch could kill… Find out next time on “Feedback Loop”…

EEEEEEE!!!

[t-a-c]

opinions on games I played in 2024 since I realized I haven't done one of these posts in aeons

Touhou: Artificial Dream in Arcadia: I can't believe we got a fanmade SMT-style Touhou game and I can't believe it's more than good, it's incredible. Story that chooses to avoid dipping into edginess and just go with something that is faithful to the setting and characters, incredible art and music that perfectly captures the style of the Super Famicom games, and a fun Undertale-style gimmick to replace negotiation and finish the whole circle of inspirations. My only nitpick is that they missed the chance to go for the reference with the exploration theme in Megami Tensei II but that's like a decimal point off of a 10/10 game Touhou Library Survivors: It's no Vampire Survivors or Holocure but it's certainly functional enough, it has a pretty unique upgrade mechanic, and let's be honest, it stars Patchouli and cost less than 5 USD Sonic Superstars: It's no Mania, but it's not an awful game by any means. I'm astounded that the audacity that Sega wanted to charge full retail for this like this was 1993 and it could compete with a mainline Mario title, though Balatro: I... am at a loss for words. This is basically just a game about making poker hands to score points but all the ways you get to interact with that system make it such a bizarre and fun experience. This feels like a game that should have been made for DOS but wasn't because computers in that era couldn't do large enough integers. Playing this game feels like interacting with a spacetime anomaly. Astrolancer: really fun retro-style shmup that I would feel obligated to plug even if I wasn't friends with the dev Yakuza Kiwami: Amazing story, but when I said the combat was kind of jank and punishing not only did a friend agree with me but they also said "the PS2 original did better in that regard". When your climactic final boss is easier than the stuff leading up to it because you're only fighting one guy, something is wrong Yakuza Kiwami 2: Much better combat-wise than the original since it ditches 0's style system. The story is a wild ride, not sure if I like it better than 1's or simply 'just as much' Final Fantasy XIV - Dawntrail: It was an amazing expansion and everybody on the team did a stellar job - writers, combat design, artists, and especially the composers. I loved the expansion story, the new jobs, and the raid series. However it feels like a bit of the magic is gone, and I don't think that's necessarily the game's fault so much as part of my circle moving on to other games Hatsune Miku Logic Paint S: Branding aside, this is an astoundingly well-featured picross game with a very good number of puzzles, some excellent QOL features, and on top of that you get a very nice gallery of official Crypton/Piapro art? Transport Fever 2: I bought this on sale and gave it a shot since I need a new transport management game to make up for A-Train Classic's utter incompability with WINE/Proton. It's servicable, I just need to put more hours in to it Mindustry: It's amazing how much game there is here for something that's 200 MB and can run on a toaster. Very nice mix of strategy and tower defense mechanics Etrian Odyssey III: hey everybody point and laugh at the person who played every EO game except one of the best ones until 2024. Everybody who has been hyping up this game was correct to do so

Shadow Generations: look, when IGN has to admit that a Sonic game is good, we're on to something. It turns out when Sonic Team has a defined scope and timetable for development they can knock it out of the park? TCG Card Shop Simulator: Really fun management game, definitely captures the 'experience' even if it's a bit simplified from the reality of the business I know from speaking to friends and acquaintences. Looking forward to future updates Metaphor Refantazio: I'm not sure if I should be allowed to count this here since I started it 3 days before the end of 2024 and it'll be mathematically impossible for me to finish it before 2025 but it washes the bad taste of SMT5's underwhelming release out of my mouth (and no I didn't buy Vengeance because I was not going to buy the same game again for full retail). The characters are good in part because they can't just rely on high school cliches and actually have to put thought and depth into everyone. Or maybe I'm just weak-willed and ATLUS can just dangle a red-haired woman with a sword in front of me like jingling keys

[justanotherfanfolks]

Twisted Wonderland Main Story Scattered Thoughts (Prologue Chapter 6-8)

Letting it be known I accidentally clicked Chapter 5 again and had to redo the Twistune, omg. Crowley jumpscare. He FORGOT there were ghosts!? Crowley my guy, how do you forget crucial information? Actually, on the topic, what WAS the Ramshackle dorm for? Who went there, it’s so small! Grim disrespecting Yuu’s help. One track mind on the tuna. I’m still confused on Crowley’s transmutation potion, Leona said those weren’t allowed! I’m adding that to the Crowley being sus list. Do it for the tuna, yes do it for the tuna Grim! He’s a runner, he’s a track- hey he’s not running anymore. He just made the twistune bearable by just slightly speeding it up. HE’S SIDING WITH THE GHOSTS! Oh, I just completed my 400th Twistune! Nice.

Crowley thinks Yuu is a monster tamer, oh gosh. “My educator’s intuition did sense something about you after the brouhaha at orientation” press X to doubt. Yuu’s vouching for Grim! So real of Yuu. Crowley’s got a thing against monsters. “Some responsibility” Crowley, this teen got robbed and yoinked through a portal unexpectedly, I think you guys bear ALL responsibility. He’l just wants free labor! Child labor laws! Well of course Yuu is alarmed, you are evil laughing under your breath! The Ramshackle Duo: NRC’s epic janitorial team. Library access is allowed, I’d sell my soul to look at the library of a magical school. Crowley, if you were charitable, they wouldn’t have to work to eat. Grim sees this is kind of a crummy deal, but eh what’re you gonna do?

Ooo, a battle. I’ll be honest, I figured out the element thing, but I can’t wrap my head around the curse thing and the little minor abilities that show up. I just know mettle means they will stay at 1 hp no matter what you do. Ghosties. …5000 HP? Laughs in has been grinding cards for like a year. Well, actually my cards are still pretty low all things considered. But I have friends that have good cards, sooo… (I didn’t understand the friend thing until I played Phantom Bride) Omg, Grim said the thing! And broke through the bed, absolutely tragic. “Suck it up and move on” Headmaster of the year, everybody. The duo gets to venture out. And that's it for my refresher! Is it Ace time? Is he in the next Chapter? I'm already missing Adeuce, can't wait to see them.

[residentdormouse]

Hey, hi! You are on my BINGO card (like last year haha) and I was wondering if you could tell me literally whatever you can muster about Hayden and/or Stephanie (what they did before the world went to shit, their interests, hobbies, their personality, style, quotes, lyrics, colors relating to them, etc.)

Thank you so much and also eternally thankful to you for all the comments you left on Save a Prayer - I saw them and they made me really happy ❤

Hey there 👋 (and I'm still eternally grateful for last year; that gif makes me so rediculously happy.)

Most information on the 'Jumping to Wonderland' series can be found on this main post - questions/asks/playlists are towards the bottom. Granted, most of that is for Hayden (she has a full 101k story to herself before Steph and my others OCs really join in with Diving.) The best segments for her are: General History and Interview Questions.

But that's a lot of nonsense to dig through. More consise answers:

Hayden (Hadley) Flynn

Hadley worked for an organization that was constructed to help protect against supernatural elements. At first, her role was in experimental expeditions, and assisting in dimensional travel. When conflicting agendas were discovered within the, now redubbed, 'Institute', Hadley moved to a first line public safety position which better situated herself to help peaceful individuals. Shortly after, disturbances outside of their universe were picked up by her old department, and Hadley was tasked with investigating. Unfortunately, as they had found from prior missions, there was a barrier between their worlds and her knowledge was barred from her upon entry, along with most of her memories. With no recollection of her past, she could only stumble into this new world, picking up the name Hayden from one of her first companions - Stu Redman.

Hayden is naturally curious, and loves learning, but she is also a fan of the arts and relaxation. Especially relaxation. Good stories are essential. Comfy blankets, fluffy pillows, warms drinks, fires. As somebody with a higher anxiety level than others, she struggles to find a calm sometimes, and has been known to study breathing techniques and coping methods (some of a potentially questionable variety). Mediation also helps aid with setting up and maintaining an easily accessable mind library, which is a necessity for travelling. She is also an animal lover, which helps establish a light tone for her first interaction with Kojak, and in turn, Glen.

Teal is a color that is significant to her, and attached to a mental key of sorts. Her full playlist is here, although 'Smile' by Wolf Alice and 'Underworld' by Cyprss are go-tos for her. Style is more about comfort and practicality. Sweaters, jeans, sometimes a blazer for 'nicer' occasions. Layers and heavy coats are a must as she usually runs cold.

Stephanie Graham

Steph served as the 'tech guru' for her community. Working on the IT department of the hospital was primary, but she also set up her family and their friends. No, you can't just use the browser that comes with. That's your password?! Is that phone from this century? While she had her job, and was very close with her family, a good deal of her free time was spent in her apartment. A safe haven full of adopted house plants and stock piles of games. Video games, board games, multitudes of 20 sided dice. Her desk was a shrine to her fandoms and online activity. Does she have a Tumblr? Maybe, but she likes your shoelaces. Does she read fanfiction? C'mon that's not taboo anymore, right? It was a comfortable life. A manageable life. Until everybody started coughing...

Anxiety is also something that Steph suffers with, although that partly stems from her untreated ADHD. It is not uncommon to see her fixating, or obsessing over little things, and excitedly babbling on about something. There are many topics that she cannot be normal about, and expect her to really get 'in it'. Words coming out faster than they have any business being, and still not fast enough for her thoughts. This also happens when self consciousness kicks in too. Catch her appologizing for appologizing, and she appologize once more. For good measure.

Much like Hayden, Steph's color is in the green category. But while Hayden's is more of a jewel tone, Steph's is a reflection of her plants, and leans towards more of a forest shade. Her playlist is here, but her main song (and the original song I used when developing her) is 'Life is Short' by Bufferfly Boucher. Style is also a comfort concern for her. Flannels and t-shirts with jeans and chucks. Nothing fancy, she wouldn't know where to begin with any of that.

[the-stray-storyteller]

Excerpts From My First WIP

(which I made with my friend) @usernamewastaken

I am feeling a bit nostalgic.

First day at school/ When Anne got attacked by Aidene:

Oh how I wanted to return back to the confines of my not-scorching-hot-home, but it was too late for that... mostly because a random girl in the crowd had, for some reason, decided to jump me. She haphazardly charged at me, almost tackling me to the ground. I was caught off-guard, as one does when you get vigorously embraced by a somewhat younger-looking girl who looks like she spent the morning trying to beat the world record to the most amount of caffeine consumed by one sane person. 

This year was off to a great start. Still startled I attempted to regain my posture while trying to figure out what just happened and why I was tackled.

But before I could inquire anything about it, 

“I’ve caught a FRIEND!!!! A LIVE ONE TOO can you believe it??” she then asked, sticking her face closer, obscuring my view of anything besides her ginormous brown eyes. I was too shaken up to say anything besides,

“Uhm sure. Congrats”

“You’re staying by me for the rest of the year.”

Aidene Comitting Identity Theft For a Library Card:

Anne decided to continue “Look there’s apparently this rumour about an old guy who used to live where Havenpoint Acad-”

“Oh, are you talking about Greylight? Name please”

“What? Why? You just told his name?” Anne said, confused.

“Spongebob Squarepants. He was asking for the library card.”

“Your real name”

“Anne Gray” I looked dubiously at Aidene quickly wondering if Aidene had stumped me again. 

“HEY!” Anne exclaimed, knitting her eyebrows together and glaring ( she was showing the most amount of emotion since the first time I met her)at Rayner’s for the theft of her identity.

“Fine. Aidene Rayners.A-I-D-E-N-E-R-A-Y-N-E-R-S”

Penelope Questioning Her Company:

“BOOKS!” Aidene yelled and ran into the library.

“Guess what! She likes books too.” Anne snapped, the heat must be getting to her.

However, I had to agree this girl got over excited about… basically everything we’ve seen so far, including the fat overfed pigeons that barely moved (she wanted to feed them. More.) and the dirty stray cats and even a cow we passed by on the little grazing field next to Havenpoint and to top it all off, Kace’s old raggedy-definitely-stale-candy store.

Penelope Being Done With Everybody's Shit:

I stared at the seven phrases we (*cough* I *cough*.Val had just found the first she scrolled through instagram while I found the rest) had found, all scattered and in a random order. A riddle obviously, but scattered. 

“a house based on”

“one has covered”

“like a secret box”

“like the skies” 

“with a veil”

“A house”

“a foundation” 

I read the phrases one by one in the wrong order. They could have been in any order.

This guy could have really used book organiser things they keep advertising at 1:00 am on TV. But this guy being a slob was now our problem.

Valentina unpotatoed herself and stretched.

“I’m gonna head back to the dorm before it gets late, catch you guys there I s’pose- if we’re not getting in detention again” she said as she hurried out of the library

I looked at my watch and grimaced. We only had around 15 minutes left and still no signal from Anne and Aidene. I dug around my pocket for my phone. A message from Aidene.

“Wait for our signal” 

What signal. I hissed in my head. They were only supposed to start a bonfire, one that could be extinguished in seconds but would send people into confusion.

Anne The Babysitter:

“Ok so we take the more erratic Plan B,” I said.

“I was really hoping it wouldn’t have to go down this path,” she sighed but her mouth twitched until she couldn’t handle it, it broke into a really big grin.

“You look like you wanted it to go down this path,”

“LET’S BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND,” she made her voice sound like she had been gargling acid. Then she started looking around at something to set on fire. Before she could do that I grabbed her shirt and dragged her into the restaurant. I was hungry.

“Okay let’s make this clear one last time,” I said as slowly as possible. Looked over the pizza and made eye contact with Aidene, who was grumbling and nibbling into her piece.

“We do not set anything that might explode on fire,”

“Okay,” she groaned.

“We won't be setting any store or vehicle on fire,”

“Fine,” she whined.

“And we are definitely not going to dress up as burglars and break the store window with a brick and threaten Mrs.Eliza,”

“I got it. I got it. Sheesh! Stop!” she put up both her hands. 

Anne Wants New Friends:

So there was a floor underground like some sort of bunker and the diary might be there and if it wasn't we would have to search the whole school.

OH! Wait, I didn't need to do that. All I had to do was stop talking to a crazy girl and maybe get more sane friends like Valentina. No not Valentina, if anything she’s worse than Rayners, maybe because of the lack of her brain cells. At Least Rayners had a moderate level of intelligence. I would have said Penelope if we hadn’t been getting into fights recently (yes we have been fighting a lot in our dorm). It was like we had declared each other as mortal enemies after the deal Aidene made was over.

[angelikigai]

I came across a short piece I wrote when I was seventeen, and it brought back memories of the time I attempted suicide because I was afraid of birthdays.

Sorry for the ungrammatical, and I didn’t think about its title, but here it is!

February 18, 2019

Everybody knows that they were born for a reason. But me? I never thought about that. My parent cared for me since I was an infant until my hair grew. My name is Angel. When I turned on my 5th birthday, I started wondering why my parents brought a bunch of kids into our house and sang and waited ‘til I wished and blew out my candle. Yes, I wouldn’t say I like birthdays. And now I’m Seventeen, as usual, I am facing a chocolate cake with a cherry on top, and my parents are giving me pleasant grins that seem happy about my age and are near death. I never had a close friend because I knew they’d leave me. Until one day, someone is brave enough to talk to me. I was sitting in a library, and there he was, Duncan.

“Hi,” his greetings.

“What do you want?” I responded.

“Nothing, I am just looking for someone willing to join our club. I mean to be a journalist?”

“uh.. so you think about me joining your club?” I asked.

“Absolutely, yes..” He said, “I saw you writing.” He continued.

I just looked at him and rolled my eyes. “What are you doin’?”

He forcedly grabbed my journal, and he didn’t give it back. “Black possesses mystery..” not until he finished reading my poem, “and at the end, it’s just death.”

“Wow, I never thought you were suicidal.” He smiled.

“Of course not; it’s just a poem.” I said.

“But poems were written because of one's inspiration.” He justified.

“Okay, so what?” I mumbled.

“It's nice. But maybe you need a reason why you exist.” he added.

I was thinking about that. I need to know why people have to live.

“Here's my number; call me If you change your mind.” He gave me a card with a number under his name. Duncan. He tapped my shoulder, and then he almost reached the door out, but I stopped him.

“Hey, Duncan! Count me in.” I shouted out.

“Great, see you in five!” He grinned.

Since the first day we met, we’ve been together until now. We became closer and did stuff a lot. Bestfriends, if that’s what it looks like. We joined in journalism; he taught me how to be a wise thinker. Sometimes we’re having a mind-to-mind battle; we argue about something, especially when it talks about life.

“You know I hate birthdays,” I mumbled.

“Hah! Yeah, I hate getting old, though. Hahaha,” he said.

“No. What I mean is, I wouldn’t say I like birthdays. For me, it’s like a sign that you’re just going to die near someday. You know the thoughts that we exist to die.” A deep silence comes abruptly.

“Have I told you I’m a miracle baby?” Duncan said.

“Yah?” I’m surprised.

“Yeaaah.. haha, my Mom told me I was not breathing when I was born. They were already preparing for a funeral until I suddenly cried..” he smiled.

“Funny, right?” He asked.

“Woah.. wow.. you’re..” I paused. I have never said this to someone before, but. “It’s miraculous! You’re an angel!” And we exchanged smiles together.

“So I am here, sharing my talent to inspire everyone even if I don’t know when will be my last breath. At least I made a lot of memories. It’s an opportunity to enjoy and express myself. I love to uplift everyone with this.” he let out.

My heartbeat stops, and I feel my hands sweating. I never believe to someone before that life is meaningful and we live for a purpose. But now, I understand. Duncan is right; I don’t just live to die.

We grab all of our opportunities together, he wants to become an Author, and I want to be the most excellent documentarist in media.

Duncan and I auditioned for the Poetry Writing contest. We took a lot of time to ensure our poem was remarkable and wanted it to be remembered so that we would become famous. When the day arrives, we’re going to show the world our talent and inspire people to keep on going through the ups and downs of life. People will love our work. I can’t wait for that to happen.

Until here it is, the day we waited.

I am still waiting for Duncan, It’s 2:17 in the afternoon, and the program will start at 3:00.

What if he doesn’t come? What if he left me as people do? What should I do? Do I have to trust him?

It was almost 4:00 in the afternoon, and Duncan didn't show up.

A few weeks passed, and I never saw him anymore. He missed my calls, or maybe he just ignored them. But I didn’t stop looking for him.

Until one day, He called.

“Hi, it’s his Mom. Duncan passed away; my baby can’t fight his heart illness. Sorry.. sorry..so..” she cried.

I never knew he had suffered from sickness; he never told me about that! I cried a lot and didn’t know what to do.

He’s the only one who brought me to light and showed me the meaning of life. Yet, he took mine with him.

-angelaikigai

[jobean12-blog]

Midnight at the Library: Chapter 2-It’s Not Trivial

Pairing: Bucky x reader (College/Librarian AU)

Word Count: 922

Summary: Bucky asks you to join him for a date night 

Author’s Note: This is for the HBC’s @the-ss-horniest-book-club Week of Love Challenge and day 2: First Date. Thanks so much for all the love on chapter 1. Really happy you guys are enjoying this and that everyone liked Professor Beck showing up! I couldn’t resist! Thank you all SO MUCH for reading! Much love always! ❤❤❤ My beautiful divider is by my love @imerdwarf

Warnings: Soft and fluffy fun, silly Science 

Series Masterlist

“Isn’t it a little late to be going to the library?” your roommate asks.

“Not for me. I like being there late at night. It’s less crowded and I get more done,” you tell her as you shove your laptop into your bag.

“So, it has nothing to do with the hot librarian that works the night shift?” she asks with a smirk.

“Who? Bucky?” You let out a loud raspberry and don’t even bother with more of an answer.

“I’ll see you later,” you say with a wave.

When you walk in he isn’t even at the desk and you start to smile. You hear the familiar creak of the bench at your favorite table and look over to see him sitting there.

“Hey you. Thanks for saving our seat,” you whisper, sitting next to him like always.

He gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before handing you a cup of coffee, just how you like it.

“No problem. We’ve got some tough problems to tackle tonight,” he says with a groan.

It was the third time you were meeting this week and you were really hoping each one wouldn’t be the last.

“So um, I wanted to…” he starts. “What question should we…” you say at the same time.

Doing a poor job of containing your chuckles you dip you head and whisper, “you first.”

He brings his face close to yours and his eyes once again drift down to your lips.

“So, it’s trivia night tomorrow at the coffee shop and I was wondering if you wanted to be my partner,” he sort of mumbles, continuing quickly with, “maybe we could grab a bite and kick some ass. I think the topic is right up our alley.”

You tap him on the nose with your pencil, giggling when he grabs it and pulls it from your hand.

“That sounds great! I’d love to!” you exclaim, trying to not to let your excited voice echo across the tall ceilings.

“Ok great! It’s a date then,” he answers, immediately biting his lip before finishing with, “if that’s ok with you of course.”

“More than ok with me Bucky. I’m looking forward to it,” you say.

You study until almost 3 am and the both of you are too tired to see straight. Bucky’s shift ends in an hour, so you bid him farewell and head back to your apartment for some much-needed sleep.

Friday rolls around and you wait for Bucky, the butterflies in your stomach fluttering around like crazy.

“You look nervous,” Nat, your roommate points out.

“Yea. I am. I don’t really know why though. We’ve been hanging out for over a week,” you say.

The knock on the door startles you from your thoughts and you give Nat a small smile before opening it and greeting Bucky with a hug and kiss on the cheek.

He takes your hand, and you start to walk the short distance to the coffee shop.

“So, I should probably warn you ahead of time,” he starts. “I’m really competitive and we have to win.”

You throw your head back and laugh. “Is that so?” you ask with raised brows. “Thankfully so am I so let’s kick some ass!”

Once you’re both settled at your table with two drinks and a big bowl of nachos the game starts. The topic this week is Astronomy so you two feel pretty confident.

“I’m pretty sure Professor Beck is the only one who would like our team name,” you tease as you write ‘Schrodinger’s Cats’ on your score card.

“Hey! You agreed to it!,” Bucky laughs, throwing his arm around your shoulder.

You turn your face and nearly bump heads, your lips just a few inches apart as he leans in closer.

“Ok everybody, let’s get this game started!” the announcer cheers, breaking the spell.

Bucky gives you a lopsided grin. “Ready to win?” he asks.

The game is close, but you and Bucky manage to take the win. You walk home high on adrenaline and victory, your combined energy making you far too loud for the time of night it is.

“I think we should go back and kick everyone’s ass next week,” Bucky says with a grin.

You reach your door and start to fidget.

“That would be great. Thank you for inviting me. I had a really good time tonight,” you tell him.

“Me too. Will I see you this weekend? I’m working Sunday night,” he says, shuffling his feet.

“Definitely. I have Beck’s problem set due Monday, so I’ll need some help!” you inform him.

He takes a step forward and brushes his thumb along your cheek.

“Yea, of course. I’d love that,” he breathes out, inching a bit closer.

“Ok, good. You’re a really good study buddy,” you whisper, licking your lips.

His head tilts just as the first drop of rain hits you on the head.

“Hey!” you screech, flinching as several more heavy and cold drops start pelting you. “I didn’t know it was supposed to rain!”

“Me either,” Bucky shouts. “Shit. It’s really coming down.”

You open your front door and quickly grab an umbrella from the stand in the corner.

“Here, take this and run!” you say with a laugh. “Be careful!”

He pauses for a second looking like he might just kiss you anyway but instead opens the umbrella in a flourish and jogs down the steps. He walks backwards and blows you a kiss.

“I’ll see you Sunday!” he yells before running off.

@addikted-2-dopamine @bugsbucky​ @book-dragon-13​ @eurynome827​ @emmabarnes​ @fxckbuckyscoming​ @jhangelface0523​ @jewels2876​ @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123​ @lookiamtrying​ @loricameback​ @la-cey​ @marvelgirl7​ @drabblewithfrannybarnes​ @nano--raptor​ @pinkdiamond1016​ @randomfandompenguin​ @tuiccim @the-wayward-robot @lizette50 @white-wolf1940​ @hiddles-rose​ @littleredstarfish​

[huntertales]

Part One: Tough Love. (Bad Boys S09E07)

Episode Summary: When an old friend of Dean’s asks for help to solve a murder, Sam and the reader discover that the older Winchester as a secret past—one that will help solve the hunt. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Word Count: 4.591.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

Silence was a rare occurrence in the bunker, even more so when everyone was home. Despite the place being vast and wide with countless rooms to occupy, you and the boys typically stuck with the same out of functionality and comfort. One room in particular quickly turned into a personal favorite among all of you when you moved in almost a year ago. The library was the perfect spot to get research done for an upcoming hunt and lounge around with a drink after a job well done. It was also the only spot where it was impossible to hear actual quietness. No sounds of talking or obscene noises that ruined the reason why Sam wanted to be here in the first place.

Out of all the rooms the bunker had to offer, it was obvious to Sam the library was his most favorite of it all. Just like you and his brother. You enjoyed it for the perfect atmosphere that it brought for research. Dean loved the comfy chairs and expensive liquor he drank on the odd occasions. It might have  been easy to guess that Sam loved the library for the several shelves of books on lore. A hunter's dream come true. While that was part of it, there were little gems spread around that had caught his attention. First editions of classic novels he heard of before, and a few he discovered by accident. Sam forgot the last time he was able to read a book that wasn't for learning about a monster or figuring out how to undo the mess of Heaven. All he wanted to do was sit down with a good book and just relax. Today felt like the day he might be able to do that. 

Sam called out his brother's name first, a few seconds later it was followed by Kevin's. His answer was dead silence. A smile crept on the edges of his lips when he stepped into the library to see that it was perfect. You looked up from your laptop when you heard Sam's voice break your concentration from what you had been working on. Dean was off somewhere else while Kevin decided to work on the translations in a different part of the bunker, hoping a change of scenery might help him focus better. You turned your attention back to the laptop to continue working, filling the air with the sounds of your keyboard tapping. A familiar tune that brought the younger Winchester back to his college days. Sam decided to join you.

Sam made his way over to the bookshelf, the exact one he'd come in here for, and glanced over the several battered hardcovers. He pretended to casually gloss over the titles as he glanced over his shoulder to make sure his brother was still gone. You wouldn't have cared about the fact that he plucked off a red cover novel that he couldn't stop thinking about. One with a familiar title of a land you both had thought was fictional. Filled with characters by the name of Dorothy and the Wicked Witch, who were in fact real people. Sam had been itching to read the series for himself to get a taste of the real magic, a fraction of the adventures Charlie was having in Oz. 

Sitting down in the chair nestled in the corner, Sam happily got himself comfortable and opened up the book to the first page, with a little too much eagerness for a series that was supposed to be written for children. No one was too old for a classic tale. However, right before Sam could even read the first word, he overheard a noise over your typing and occasional clip from the trackpad. It sounded like vibrations. A slight annoyed look crossed his face at the disruption. It only deepened when Sam watched as you continued to sit there, mindlessly scrolling through whatever was keeping your attention. Sam passively shut the book a little too loudly. You still didn't acknowledge the vibrating phone on the table across from your own.

"Please, let me." Sam muttered to himself. He set his book aside on another shelf and reluctantly made his way over to the phone. Glancing down at the caller I.D., it turned out to be a number he wasn't familiar with. Not the one to ignore a call, he pulled the charger out from the plug and answered before it could go to voicemail. "Hello?" The voice on the other line was male, and not one he was able to recognize. You finally glanced up from your laptop from what you heard next. Sam smiled to himself at the ridiculous nickname for whomever they were trying to reach. "I'm sorry, there's no Dee-dawg, uh..."

"I got it. I got it." Dean came out of nowhere, seeming to have heard the conversation from wherever he was, and plucked the phone out from his brother's hand. "Sonny, hey. So, what's up?" You shut your laptop and got up from your seat at hearing the one-sided conversation unfold, curious as to who was on the other end. Never in your life did you hear someone use a nickname like that on Dean. You wondered who this Sonny guy was. "All right. Yeah, just sit tight. I'll be there soon as I can." 

You made your way over to the boys right as Dean ended the call. You casually crossed your arms over your chest and sat down on the edge of the table, a little curious as to who contacted him. "So, what was that all about, Dee-dwag?" You couldn't help the smile that crossed your face at the nickname that sounded childish coming out from your mouth.

"Sammy, you remember when we were kids that spring in upstate New York?" Dea tried to spark an old memory in his brother's mind, despite how their childhood wasn't spent in one place for very long. They'd visited so many different places, so many small towns with motels that blurred into the same place. "Dad was on a rugaru hunt. We crashed at the, uh...the bungalow colony with the ping-pong table?'

"Yeah. You disappeared. Dad came back. You were gone. He shipped me off to Bobby's for a couple and went and found you." Sam remembered the details from the time he was twelve. While the small details were a bit fuzzy, there was no forgetting the moments when his father got beyond angry after coming back from a hunt to see disaster had struck. "You were lost on a hunt or something.”

Dean's expression changed at hearing his brother's version of the story that differed from his own, almost like it refreshed his own memory. "That’s what we told you. Right."

"I'm sorry?" You were caught off guard at what Dean said. John was never going to be father of the year in your eyes. He was a lot of things, but a liar was not one of them. You furrowed your brow in confusion. "That's what you told Sam?"

"Truth is, uh..." Dean came clean with the real version of what really happened all those years ago while you continued to listen. You and his brother both appeared to be interested as to why John felt the need to keep up the lie for so many years. What could have been so bad that Sam wasn't able to know? "I lost the food money  that Dad left for us in a card game. I knew you'd get hungry, so...I tried taking the five-finger discount at the local market and got busted. I wasn't on a hunt. They sent me to a boys' home." 

"A boys' home, like a...reform school?" You took a wild guess as to where he ended up for those few months. You didn't understand the need to cover up the truth, and why John let him stay there for all that time. You weren't a personal fan of the way John raised his children, having made a remark here and there over the years, you figured it was for the best to keep some things to yourself. It might have been one of the few moments in Dean's life where there was an actual proper guardian looking over him. Beside Bobby, of course. 

"Yeah, more or less. It was a farm, and the guy who ran it—Sonny—he, you know, he looked after me." Dean told you the rest of the story. You always enjoyed meeting people from the boys' past, it was almost like getting to discover another part of their tangled and strange childhood. 

"Wait." Sam was caught up on one detail as to why the older man was calling out of the blue. People from their past don't call just to say hello, unless there was a problem attached to that greeting in need of solving. "Does Sonny know what we do?"

"Yeah. He's good people. I gave him the number to the Bat Phone, and it sounds like he's got something in our wheelhouse." Dean said. You nodded your head in agreement at the plan. Sometimes people were believers in the supernatural, sometimes it took a strange phenomenon for them to understand. You covered your mouth with your hand when you found yourself letting out a yawn, which didn't go unnoticed. "Hey, you gonna be cool do this, or are you too tired?”

"Yeah, I'm just, uh..." You pushed yourself up to your feet and tried to get yourself to feel more awake. You blamed your sluggishness on the lack of your usual amount of caffeine. There was no way you were missing out on a hunt because you felt tired. "I'll be fine."

Dean wanted to take your word on that alone, but he wanted to be sure. He placed a hand on the back of a chair and balanced the other on the table, leaning down to ask you an odd sounding question. "And everybody's okay with heading out to the Catskills?"

You found yourself looking around the library to see who Dean might be talking to, despite the fact he was making full eye contact with you. You raised your brow slightly and smiled at his behavior. "Unless Sammy has other reservations, we are everybody.”

"Yeah. Right. All right." Dean stood back up into a standing position, pretending like everything was back to normal once more. You didn't see the strange look Sam passed his brother from the way he was acting about a certain someone. "Grab your stuff, and we'll head out." 

You rolled your eyes as you watched Dean make his way out the library to pack a few things for the hunt ahead of you. Before he could get too far, Sam stopped him. He needed to ask a question of his own about the conversation spoken just a few moments ago. "Hey, Dean...why didn't you just tell me you went to a boys' home?"

"I don't know. It was Dad's idea." Dean said. "And it just—you know, the story became the story. I was sixteen."

For some reason you felt like Dean wasn't telling you the whole story. It felt out of character for John to make up some lie to Sam. A parent would most likely make this a teachable moment. Screw up enough and you'll end up in a boys' home for a few months. You looked over at Sam to see he shared the same confused expression as yourself.

+ + +

You weren't sure what to expect when you made it to the Catskills where Sonny's home was nestled in. You heard of homes for troubled youth for behavior and crimes that weren't drastic enough for juvenile hall. An alternative that was the epitome of tough love for kids with parents who reached their end, or for those who didn’t care enough to bother trying at all. "Sonny's Home For Boys'' greeted you and the brothers of the establishment where Dean spent a few months by himself. It turned out to be exactly like Dean said, it was just a farm that had seen better days with a cozy looking home nestled on top of the hill. 

Dean parked the Impala on the dirt road that led up to the house and got out, you and Sam following quickly after. He glanced around the area to see if it might still look the way he remembered. You swore you saw a smile across his face when you happened to glance over his way, the kind someone got when returning to a happy memory. You took a look around yourself to see what made this so special. For a kid who spent his entire life from town to town, stability was something he might have craved. He had his own bed for a couple of months. Dean didn't have to worry about taking care of someone for those two months besides himself...You wondered if that’s why Dean kept it a secret. 

"You were here for two months and Dad couldn't find you?" Sam examined the farm for himself to try and see what was so special about this place that made Dean want to stay. It was another small town with acres of farmland that most likely was taken care of by the boys who stayed here. Not exactly paradise for a sixteen year old who'd been all over the country to settle for a little while.

"Oh, no. He found me quick. But he left me here 'cause I lost our money." Dean told you the reason for his extended stay, following a chuckle like it was all some funny story. You and Sam shared the same unamused sort of expression when the both of you happen to turn your heads to look at one another.

"You were sixteen." You came to the older man's defense to try and realize the punishment was a little harsh for something stupid. When you were at that age, what few months you still had left of teenage bliss, you fooled around and got yourself into deep trouble. Maybe not gambling away food money while your father abandoned you for God knows how long while you were forced to take care of another sibling...still, you felt the punishment didn't fit the crime. "You made a mistake."

"Yeah. I made the mistake." Dean said, seeming to refuse to try and see things from your perspective. "Look, I know how you guys think. None of this was Dad's fault." 

Was it ever in the eyes of Dean? You kept your thoughts to yourself and trailed behind the boys as you made your way up the porch steps. Dean knocked on the door and waited a few seconds before someone answered. It was a middle aged woman who opened up, leaving the screen door as a barrier between you and her. You noticed right away from the stern look on her face she didn't seem too pleased to see three strangers standing on the porch. You figured Sonny didn't tell her company was coming. You spotted the gold cross that hung from her neck, the size of it was too hard not to miss. A holy woman helping run a boys' home. There was nothing scarier than a God fearing woman.

The woman crossed her arms over her chest when Dean offered a friendly smile and a polite hello. "What can I do for you kids?"

"I'm Dean. This is my brother, Sam. And this is our friend, Y/N." Dean introduced all of you. "We're old buddies of Sonny's."

"Prison buddies?" She was quick to judge, causing Sam to clear his throat at the quick escalation of who Sonny was before even meeting him. You softly nudged the man in the ribs and gave him a side-eyed glare before smiling at the woman.

"No." Dean said. "You mind telling him that we're here?"

"I'll go get him." She responded a few seconds later, taking the time to give all of you a once over in some kind of way to make sure you were decent people. Not some strangers from Sonny's past he had all left where it should stay. Dean opened up the screen door and was about to step inside, but she stopped him before doing such a thing. "I just mopped this floor, so you take off those roach stompers."

Not the one to make a bad impression, you and the boys listened, slipping off your shoes so they laid on the porch before stepping inside. Sam felt the need to bring up a small fact about the man who ran this place, finding it rather odd someone who had a run-in with the law now helped troubled youth. "Sonny's an ex-con, huh?"

"What, and we're such angels?" Dean scoffed at his brother's passive judgement on the guy before he got the proper chance to meet him. "Trust me, he's more than made up for it." 

Dean stepped inside the home first with you and his brother following behind. You looked around while Dean took everything in about the place that hadn't changed since the last time he was here almost twenty years ago. The furniture was still the same as he remembered, Sonny even kept the awards in the same spot of their accomplishments. Dean didn't realize how much he missed this place, despite not wanting to be here at first when he was a teenage punk who gave the cop who arrested him a black eye. He might still have the same sarcastic charm and hatred for authority when he was a kid, but there was no doubt in his mind Sonny taught him some valuable lessons during his stay here.

"Dee-dwag!" You heard that ridiculous nickname again, this time coming from the man who gave it to Dean. You saw an older man step out from another room with a wide smile on his face at the sight of the fully grown Winchester.

"Sonny, good to see you." Dean greeted the man with the same happiness in his voice. He embraced the man into a tight hug after meeting up again after so many years apart.

"Hey, you, too, brother." Sonny said. Pulling away, he noticed that Dean didn't make the journey up here alone. He was quick to notice the tall man looming around was the little brother Dean talked so much about. "Oh, and this must be Sam." 

“Good to meet you.” Sam greeted the man with a friendly smile of his own. 

"Back at you, brother." Sonny grabbed the younger Winchester's hand to shake when he stuck it out before dropping it back down to his side. He finally turned his attention to you, trying to put a name to a face. “I don’t believe Dean mentioned you before.” 

"Sonny, this is my girlfriend, Y/N Y/L/N.” Dean rarely introduced you as such to people. Most of the time it was either hunting partner or family friend to strangers from his past. For some reason he felt the need to tell Sonny the deeper relationship you had with him. "She's a close family friend of ours. We’ve known each other since we were born. Circumstances broke us apart, but we actually reunited back together a year after I left this place." You looked over at him and smiled, the thought of seventeen soon-to-be eighteen Dean was a drastic difference to the man who stood in front of you today. 

"Good for you." Sonny seemed to be proud at hearing Dean had landed himself in a happy relationship. From the way you two looked at each other it was easy to tell he was head over heels in love. "He ain't giving you too much trouble now, has he?"

"Not anymore than usual. But it’s what I signed up for." You joked with Sonny. You lightly tapped Dean on his chest and flashed him a smile. “Good thing I love him.” 

Dean couldn't help the bashful sort of smile that crossed his face at hearing you say those three words to him. Normally they were saved for private moments where no one could hear you. You carelessly tossed them around and meant them. Dean felt a spark of pride hit him out of nowhere for some reason. As if he was showing Sonny he ended up okay for himself.

"So," Dean continued on with the conversation. "The farm looks."

"Oh, please, man. It's barely standing." Sonny brushed off the empty compliment that was just the polite way to make small talk before going in for the real reason why all of you were here. "Only got a handful of kids working around here."

Dean's face scrunched up slightly at hearing that news. When he was here back in the day, almost every bed was taken here with no one left without a job to do as instructed by Sonny. "Why's that?"

"Because these days, the system would rather incarcerate a boy than redeem him." Sonny replied.

"Hey, Sonny, uh," Sam happened to look across over to the dining room to spot the woman who answered the door was lingering around in an obvious sort of way. She was wiping an already clean table with a rag. You could tell she was trying to eavesdrop. Sam made sure to drop his voice to a whisper as he casually crossed his arms over his chest. "You mind if we talk alone?"

"Hey, Ruth," Sonny looked over his shoulder to see she was lingering around for whatever reason why. Maybe she wanted to know why a bunch of strangers from Sonny’s past decided to come by without a warning. "Would you please go check on the boys, make sure their money chores are getting done?"

Ruth hesitantly nodded her head before making her way somewhere far enough away to keep the conversation going without worry. "All right." Dean jumped to the real reason why all of you were here in the first place. "So, what's happening?"

"Well, you remember Jack, do you?" Sonny asked. 

Dean nodded his head. "Yeah. The tough, old leatherneck." 

"Mmhm. Well, somehow, that ancient, rusty, broken-down tractor just roared to life and ran him over the other night." Sonny shared the strange and unfortunate news of an old worker here who suffered a strange and terrible sounding death that was out of the ordinary. 

"Maybe it just slipped out of park or something." You guessed, trying to figure out a more logical reason behind it.

"Couldn't have. You know, I never believed any of this mumbo-jumbo stuff you kids are into, but...something ain't right." Sonny said. His concern made you a little bit curious as to what he meant by all of that. "Well, just things started happening—lights flickering on and off, strange scratching sounds coming from inside the walls, windows and doors slamming."

"All right. You think you can round up the boys while we take a look around?" Dean asked, having heard enough to suspect of what might be going on around here.

"Well, that shouldn't be a problem. Most are home on a break—well, except those with no home worth going to." Sonny said. 

Sonny went on to round up the boys so they wouldn't be around to disturb any of you when you got to the bottom of figuring out what might be going on. "All right. Why don't you and Y/N take the house?" Dean suggested a plan to you and his brother. "I'll check the barn."

The both of you nodded your head in agreement before going your own seperate ways to get a proper sweep of the house. Sam decided to take the upstairs part of the house while you stuck with the downstairs, thinking you might be able to cover more ground that way while Dean stuck with the parts of the farm he was familiar with. You took a sweep of the main parts of the house to see there was nothing out of the ordinary from what you usually looked for in this situation; no EMF, no sulfur and not a trace of a hex bag. Even though what Sonny described was typically signs of a spirit, it didn't hurt to check off all the boxes just to be safe if things ended up not being what you thought. 

Soon enough you made your way into the bedroom area where the boys slept after a hard day’s work. You spotted at least a half dozen twin sized beds spread around the place. Some of them were messy, a few of them were perfectly made. Sonny was right about there not being a lot of boys anymore. You looked around the place to see it almost seemed like any other bedroom. Plenty of furniture, some toys and board games lying around. You realized that this was the exact same room Dean spent two months in when he was sixteen. And you got confirmation he was here when you spotted something engraved into one of the beds.

Your fingers brushed over a hunting symbol carved into the bedpost that was most likely done by Dean himself. A smile crossed your face at the thought of teenage Dean protecting himself from evil while alone from his family, despite it only being his brother and absent father. You crouched down when you spotted some masking tape on the foot of the bed as well, making up as some kind of nameplate. Out of curiosity, you pulled off the first layer, revealing another name that you guessed belonged to another boy who slept in this bed previously. You pulled off another piece of tape, and another, and another until you came across the one you had been looking for—Dean W. 

Your head snapped away from the tape and to the door across the room when you heard rustling that broke your concentration. The door that led to the other room was opened slightly, giving you enough of a bad feeling not to go in there without some kind of precaution. Slowly, you pushed yourself back up to your feet and reached for the knife you kept tucked in the back of your jeans. You made your way over, taking cautious steps when you heard what sounded to be a whispering female voice. You didn’t take into consideration there might have been another bedroom located right next to the boys’, it was a small house after all. And it might have been Ruth’s. You discovered that a little too late. 

You pushed open the door, expecting to find the thing who killed Jack standing across from you, only it turned out to be someone else. You quickly whipped the knife behind your back when you realized it was in fact Ruth. She had been kneeling at her bed before you scared her. "I am so sorry." You quickly apologized to the woman at the accidental mishap, suddenly feeling like a fool for mistaking her whispering for something evil when it was in fact most likely a prayer from the rosary beads that was tight in her grip. "I thought I saw something in—”

"Like a ghost?" Ruth's presumption made you look at her a little funny, wondering how she managed to come up with that conclusion on her own. "Sonny told me you were old friends, but I know why you're really here. That's why I was praying for us."

"Praying for what?" 

"For the ghost that haunts this farm to leave." 

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[apocalypseornaw]

Always be Yours- 7

Word Count: 8,000

Story Summary: Inspired by the 2 part I did of the same title. Follows Dean and Reader through season 9 into season 10

Chapter Summary: An old friend of Dean's calls needing help

Warnings: the usual. Cursing, fights and NSFW warning. Some steamy stuff happens

The little talk with Dean or more so the way he worded what he said helped you to push the feelings you thought you’d been developing for him to the side. You decided to blame it on the fact that for weeks you’d only been in close quarters with him, Sam and Kevin. Maybe you just needed to hit a bar and get some tension out of your system. You knew it wouldn’t change how you felt but hoped it may take some of the sting out.

You were curled up on a chair in the corner of the library leafing through one of the lore books on enochian spells hoping maybe just maybe the passage Crowley had translated was wrong. Cas had so much hope in him still that there was a way to help the angels that you refused to give up simply because of him.

You glanced up when Sam called out Dean’s name but knew you were tucked in a far enough corner the only way you’d be spotted was if you let your presence be known. It’d only taken you a week in the bunker to figure out what spots you could actually have a few moments to yourself in and Dorothy letting you all know about the garage only added to that, the night before you hadn’t been able to sleep so you ended up detailing half the classic cars just for something to keep your hands busy.

When he called Kevin then your name you let out a low whistle and saw him jump “Y/N?” you laughed before laying the book down in your chair and stepping around a corner “Looking for me Sammy?” he looked over your shoulder then back at you “Where were you at?” you grinned “Oh that’s for me to know and for you to never find out” he let out a short laugh “Ok then. You seen Dean?” you nodded towards one of the tables “He came in a little while ago and plugged his phone in. He didn’t see me either” the moment you were through speaking the phone started ringing. Sam looked at you so you shrugged “Your brother’s phone, you answer it”

You followed Sam over to the table and he picked up the phone “Hello?” After a moment he said “I’m sorry there’s no dee-dawg here” you looked up when Dean came around the corner saying “I got it, I got it” and grabbed the phone out of Sam’s hand “Sonny, hey so what’s up?” you looked towards Sam for an explanation of who Sonny was but he looked as clueless as you were.

Sam sat on the edge of the table so you leaned across his shoulders while Dean finished talking to whoever Sonny was “All right. Yeah just sit tight, I’ll be there as soon as I can” Once he hung up Sam asked “So what was that all about Dee-Dawg?” Dean took a breath and his eyes flicked towards you before he turned his attention to Sam “Remember when we were kids that spring in upstate New York?” Sam looked a little lost so Dean continued “Dad was on a rugaru hunt, we uh crashed at the bungalow colony with the ping-pong table” Sam nodded “Yeah, uh you disappeared. Dad came back and you were gone” that set off a red flag in your head as to where this story was going because Dean disappearing on Sam? No something unsavory had to have happened. Dean nodded then Sam added “He shipped me off to Bobby’s for a couple months that’s when I first met Y/N because her aunt had dropped her off at Bobby’s for a week. Then dad went off and found you, said you were lost on a hunt or something” hunt? You didn’t think Dean had started solo hunts until he was eighteen or older. 

Your suspicions were confirmed when Dean said “That’s what we told you. Right” you pushed off Sam’s shoulder and tracked Dean’s movements with your eyes “What you told Sam?” Dean shrugged and looked between you both before saying “Truth is, I lost the food money that dad left us in a card game. I knew you’d get hungry so I tried the five finger discount at the local market and got busted. I wasn’t on a hunt they sent me to a boy’s home” “A boy’s home? Like a reform school?” Sam asked. Dean nodded “More or less. It was a farm and the guy who ran it, Sonny..he uh looked after me” 

“Does Sonny know what you do?” you questioned and Dean nodded again “Yeah. he’s good people. I gave him the number to the bat phone and it sounds like he’s got something in our wheelhouse. So” Dean turned to walk out then stopped and looked back at Sam “You gonna be cool to do this or are you too tired?” Sam was mid yawn but said “Yeah, I’m just I’ll be fine” Dean looked over Sam at you so you nodded that you thought Sam was ok then inwardly groaned when Dean asked “So everybody is ok with heading out to the catskills?” 

Sam looked back at you “I think he’s talking to you” you smiled “Yeah, I’m good Dean” and hoped he got the point when you shot him a look when Sam turned back around. “All right, grab your stuff then we’ll all head out” before Dean could walk out Sam asked him “Why not just tell me you were sent to a boy’s home” Dean shrugged “It was dad’s idea then the story became the story. I was sixteen” then walked out to grab his gear. Sam looked back at you for help so you said “I don’t know either Sam. We were twelve at the time. Aunt Lena always said John could’ve done better by you two even with him choosing to be a hunter and I more than agree” Sam nodded then stood up “Well let’s grab our stuff so we can head out”

------

You sat in the backseat of the impala quiet for most of the drive only arguing with Dean over the radio a couple times. When he pulled onto the gravel road that had a farmhouse at the end and a sign that read “Sonny’s home for boys” you sat up straighter and grabbed your jacket to pull on. You were about to see a part of Dean’s past even Sam hadn’t been privy to before that moment.

You walked around the back of baby looking around at the property while Sam told Dean “You were here for two months and dad couldn’t find you?” You turned to look at them when Dean said “Oh, no. He found me. He found me quick. But he left me here cause I lost our money” “You were sixteen! You made a mistake” you quickly argued refusing to let Dean’s self deprecating nature win out yet again. 

“Yeah, I made the mistake. Look I know how you two think. None of this was dad’s fault” Sam rolled his eyes and looked at you so you took the opening to say “Just as quickly as he dumped Sam off at Bobby’s for the couple months he could’ve left you both there to go after the rugaru” then walked towards the house leaving both of them to have to catch up with you.

------

You knocked before Dean even made it to be standing next to you. He looked your way but you simply met his gaze refusing to give on what you’d said. A woman answered and crossed her arms looking between the three of you “What can I do for you?” Dean smiled “I’m Dean, this is my brother Sam and this is our friend Y/N. We’re old buddies of Sonny’s” “You boys prison buddies?” she asked and you stifled a laugh considering Dean had once been on the FBI’s most wanted list. Dean shook his head “No, uh you mind telling him we’re here?” She nodded “I’ll go get him”

She opened the door then looked down at the fact that all three of you were wearing boots. “I just mopped this floor so off with the roach stompers” you bent to pull your boots off while she walked away to find Sonny. “So Sonny’s an ex con huh?” Sam asked and Dean scoffed “What? Like we’re such angels?” you raised an eyebrow at Sam “Lena spent two years when she was in her early twenties Sammy. Someone’s past doesn’t define them”

Dean tilted his head at you and added “Trust me, like Lena he’s more than made up for it” You followed Dean into the house with Sam right behind you.

------

You were standing between the two of them when who you were guessing was Sonny walked around the corner with a smile “Dee-Dawg” Dean smiled before the two of them hugged and Dean said “Sonny, good to see you man” “You too brother” Sonny replied. When they pulled apart Sonny looked at Sam first “You must be Sam” 

Sam offered his hand and the two of them shook “Good to meet you” “Back at you brother” then Sonny looked at you “And this must be Y/N” you smiled and shook Sonny’s hand “Nice to meet you” he smiled “You too ma’am”

“Farm looks nice” Dean said and Sonny scoffed “Please man, it’s barely standing. Only got a handful of kids working around here now” “Why’s that?” Dean asked and Sonny shook his head “Cause these days the system would rather incarcerate a boy then redeem him” Sam looked off and you followed his sight to see the lady that had let all of you in but you weren’t sure if something was wrong until he said “Hey Sonny, um you mind if we talk alone?” 

Sonny got the message so he looked back at the lady “Hey Ruth, would you please go check on the boys? Make sure their morning chores are getting done?” When she walked away Dean asked “So, what’s happening?” Sonny took a breath then said “You remember Jack don’t you?” Dean nodded “Yeah the tough old leatherneck” “Well somehow that ancient,rusty broken-down tractor just roared to life and ran him over the other night” “Maybe it slipped out of park?” Sam offered but Sonny shook his head “Couldn’t have. You know I never believed any of this mumbo-jumbo stuff you all are into, but something ain’t right”

“What do you mean?” you questioned and Sonny explained “Well just things started happening. You know, flickering lights on and off, strange scratching coming from inside the walls. Window and doors slamming” you nodded “Yeah sounds like an us thing” “Think you can round up the boys while we take a look around?” Dean asked and Sonny nodded “Shouldn’t be a problem, most are home on breaks. Well, except for the ones with no home worth going to” you didn’t miss the way he looked at Dean when he said that last part. 

Sonny left to round up the boys so Dean turned back to you and Sam “Sam, why don’t you take the house? Me and Y/N will take the barn” “Yeah” Sam replied meeting your eyes before you turned to follow Dean out the door. You both stopped long enough to slip your boots back on then you followed him down the steps.

------

“So what was it like?” you asked walking into the barn behind him. He shrugged without turning around “Ok, I guess” you felt like there was a lot he wasn’t saying but you knew Dean well enough to know forcing him to talk simply wasn’t an option. 

You stopped when you saw the tractor in question and grimaced at the dark stains that you knew were blood. You saw Dean pull the emf detector out of his jacket pocket and watched it once he fired it up to see if it gave any reaction. The moment he turned it on it started going insane. He looked towards you then said “All right Casper, where are you at?”  

You walked next to him further in the barn then heard a little kid laughing, both of you following the sound. Dean knew the layout of the barn better than you so for once you had no complaints about having to let him take the lead. He slid open another door and waited for you to follow him through. “Hello?” you called out once both of you were into the other part of the barn. There was no response so Dean tried “Anybody here?”

You pointed behind Dean and he spun around to see the kid that had seemingly popped up out of nowhere behind him “Hey kid, what are you doing in here by yourself?” Dean asked him and his response? “Fighting monsters” ok point for the kid considering that’s what you and Dean were currently doing. “What kind of monsters sweetie?” you asked and he smiled and showed you the action figure in his hand “All sorts with Bruce the monster smasher” 

The little action figure was complete with cape and all. You weren't going to say anything but leave it to Dean to point out “Is that a cape? Little impractical for smashing monsters huh?” “Yeah flannel doesn’t sell as well” you muttered and Dean gave you a small shrug “Just saying”

The little boy hit the button on Bruce and it said “I clobber evil” Dean chuckled lightly “I bet you do” then held his hand out “I’m Dean and this beautiful lady with me is Y/N” you rolled your eyes at Dean but smiled when the little boy said “I’m Timmy” “Nice to meet you Timmy” you told him but when he shook Dean’s hand he barely gripped his fingers so Dean tilted his head then squatted down “Let’s try that again. If you’re gonna be a man you gotta learn to shake like one” He offered his hand to Timmy again “Give me your best kung fu grip” Timmy did what he said and Dean nodded “Good. Now look me straight in the eye. Let me know that you mean business and shake as hard as you can” you tried to look anywhere in the barn but at Dean being downright fatherly but good lord you were only human. 

Timmy’s smile got even bigger so Dean asked “Timmy, did you know Jack who worked here?” When he said that Timmy’s smile dropped “Uh huh” so you squatted down next to Dean “What can you tell us about him?” “He yelled a lot. He was yelling when he had his accident”

“How do you know that?” Dean questioned and Timmy replied “Because me and the other boys were playing here when it happened” “Did you see anything?” you asked but Timmy shook his head so you added “Is there anything about that night that you can remember? Anything at all” 

You could see the kid thinking hard about his answer before he finally spoke “It suddenly got really cold..Can I go? I’ve got to finish my chores before Ms Ruth gets mad?” Dean chuckled softly “Man that Ruth she runs a tight ship right? Yeah you better roll” Timmy ran out so you stood up and looked around the barn “Have there been any deaths here before Jack?” Dean shook his head “None that Sonny knows about anyways” you let out a breath “Well looks like we’ve got to figure out just who is haunting this place before we can figure out the why”

Dean nodded so you bumped him lightly with your shoulder and nodded towards where Timmy had left “You were good with him Dean” He scoffed “Please, he was probably just focusing on you the entire time he was talking to me” “No that was all you Winchester” you replied with a smile as the two of you headed back towards the house.

------

Ms Ruth had told Sam about the previous owners of the farm Howard and Doreen Wasserlauf and the fact that when Jack worked as a farm hand for the couple Howard got it into his head that Jack and Doreen were having an affair. He tried to kill them both but Jack got away, Doreen wasn’t so lucky. Howard had died in prison the year before and had always sworn he’d get his revenge on Jack so that led all three of you to Howard’s final resting place.

You sat on the edge of the grave watching as the boys shoveled dirt out. All three of you couldn’t fit and there was no part of you that wanted to get stuck between two guys their sizes. “Why don’t one of you take a break and let me shovel for a bit?” you offered so Sam held his shovel out “Have at it” you hopped down in the hole next to Dean and Sam pulled himself up to stand next to the headstone.

You felt your back bump into Dean’s but there was more room with the two of you digging than with him and Sam. Sam was quiet for a few moments the only noise the sound of the two of you shoveling dirt until he finally spoke to Dean “So, dad didn’t want you to tell me. How come? Was this place really that bad” Dean shrugged cutting his eyes towards you before he said “I don't know. I don't really remember. Look, nobody bad touched me. Nobody burned me with their smokes or beat me with a metal hanger. I call that a win” you stopped shoveling long enough to say “Fuck your standards are low arent they?”  Your shovel hit the casket so you reached for Sam’s hand and he helped you up out the hole then hopped back in next to Dean.

You handed Dean the salt and Sam the lighter fluid out of your bag. After they’d salted and soaked the corpse they both climbed out to stand next to you so you lit the match and flicked it in “Bye Howard” 

------

Dean decided that you and Sam had to try the banana pancakes at Cus’s place. While you and Sam were looking at the menu you glanced up and saw that Dean was looking at the woman working the counter and felt your heart fall. Fuck you had to find someway to get over whatever feelings you’d developed for him with a friendship still intact for Sam’s sake if nothing else.

You dropped your eyes down and pulled your phone out with the excuse of checking your emails. Maybe Garth or the Banes twins needed some assistance with a hunt. That would give you an excuse to hit the road without the boys freaking because you’re hunting alone amidst everything with the angels and Abaddon.

The woman in question walked over and you glanced up long enough to see her name was Robin. “Welcome to Cus’s what can I get you three today?” Dean had that patent smile in place so you rolled your eyes at him but refused to be rude to her. “Bet you never thought you’d see me here huh?” Dean asked her but you’d turned your attention to Sam where the two of you were debating splitting a breakfast plate since neither of you were exactly starving.

She brushed him off “Look, I’m a little bit slammed right now. Do you want to hear the specials?” you cut your eyes at Sam who was just as intrigued by whatever you and him were missing between Dean and Robin as you were. “Robin.. Dean Winchester? I used to live at Sonny’s?” “Oh, look sorry there’s just so many boys that pass through there it’s hard to remember every name and face” she looked towards you and Sam so you nodded “Oh I get it believe me”

You almost felt bad when Dean looked embarrassed “No, it’s fine. I remember you coming with your mom up there when she’d give guitar lessons. It was a long time ago” Robin smiled and you had to admit she was really pretty “Yeah mom loved helping out the boys. I guess that;s why I kept giving lessons after she passed” a woman from the back called Robin so she excused herself by saying “I’ll be right back”

“Dude!” Sam started but Dean cut him off “Let’s go” before you or Sam could react Dean was grabbing his jacket and walking out so you rushed to follow Sam behind him.

------

Once all of you were outside Sam asked “Dude, what was that?” you were just as curious but Dean said “Nothing” and his phone ringing saved a lot more awkwardness even though Sam being the perpetual little brother was asking you who you thought the waitress was. Dean shook his head and answered his phone “Sonny?” you and Sam both dropped any teasing when he said “What?”

------

Ms Ruth had drowned in the bathtub and according to Sonny he tried to get in to save her but the door wouldn’t open. When Sam questioned if it could’ve been locked Sonny shook his head and explained that there were no locks on the farm. “That means our little field trip to the cemetery was a bust” you uttered feeling like you always did when someone was lost on a hunt. You hated losing people.

Dean nodded “Sonny, is there anything else weird you can remember?” “What, cause we’re not chest deep in weird already?” you smoothed a hand through your hair “I know but Dean means anything like at all that you’d consider weird or out of the ordinary?” Sonny glanced away but you could see when a thought occurred to him “There was one thing. Ruth always had her rosary beads with her but now I can’t find them anywhere” “All right um let’s start with the vics ok?” Sam offered so you nodded “Both lived in the house, worked closely with the boys”

Dean agreed and said “Well let’s have a chat with the rugrats Y/N. See what’s up” You and him left Sonny and Sam in the yard and headed up the hill towards the house. 

------

You could hear the boys taunting Timmy before you ever saw them. Calling him a weirdo and asking if he was going to cry. You saw when it hit Dean that big brother instinct kicking in to the fullest. When you walked around the corner two bigger boys had Timmy shoved against the house so Dean hollered “Hey, hey. Hey!”

He pushed one back and snatched the other away from Timmy “What are you doing? Come here” You stood back choosing to let Dean handle the situation. He looked back towards Timmy and asked what was going on. Timmy didn’t respond so Dean turned to the older boys “All right you two where were you this morning when Ruth had her accident?” They looked at him then shook their head “Unless you’re a cop, We don’t need to tell you anything” You happened to have your badge in your jacket pocket so you flipped it out and whistled to get their attention “He’s my partner boys so speak”

Dean smiled smugly as the bigger of the two said “We weren’t even here this morning. Sonny sent us into town to get chicken feed. We swear” They seemed genuine enough but you still asked “What about Ruth? What can you tell us about her?” the boy who hadn’t spoken yet said “We used to call her the warden. She was a real bible thumping hard ass” way to speak about the dead before she was even cold but you let it go. “Obviously, what else. Anything different or weird?” “You mean besides Timmy?” The bigger boy joked and you narrowed your eyes at him before Dean said “Either of you touch him ever again. I’m gonna go all guantanamo on you and I’m the good cop here. Understand me?” they looked back at you so you smiled sweetly to push Dean’s point. “Now get the hell out of here you little rats”

They ran off so you and Dean checked on Timmy. He said he was ok so you headed inside to find Sam.

------

You were helping Sam go through records when a scream ripped out so Dean and Sonny ran outside to check on the boys. Robin hadn't long showed up to start her weekly guitar lessons. “You know Dean was Sullivan county’s one hundred and thirty five pound wrestling champion when he was here?” you looked up from the file in your hand “Really? You know I’m thinking he remembers more here than he’s letting on and I’m betting his time here was good”

Time passed and Dean walked back in the door “Kids good, gonna need about eight thousand stitches” “That kid was bullying Timmy before the accident right?” Sam asked and you knew where he was headed because he’d already bounced the idea off of you. You held out the file Sam had shown you “Timmy was found in an abandoned building a year ago by himself. No one was sure how long he’d been there” “What about his parents?” he asked handing the file to Sam “Well, they posted a picture on the internet but no one ever showed up”

The working idea was ghost possession which meant shoving salt down the kids throat for a forced ejection. Dean sent you back to the barn with Sam while he looked through the house.

------

Inside the barn you found a little hideout in the loft of it. In that hideout you found drawings which basically told you Timmy’s entire story, showing a wreck and how he’d come to be alone.

“We need to tell Dean” you said and Sam nodded in agreement.

------

The moment you and Sam were walking into the backdoor Dean and Robin were running towards you “Go!” you reached for the door but it was locked. “Damn it” Dean hollered so you ran to the cabinet and grabbed the salt then threw it at Sam “Circle!” so he set about making a circle around Robin.

“Dean, what just happened in there?” Robin asked. You shook your head “Robin just whatever happens don’t leave this circle” she looked at Dean then back at you and nodded.

Timmy walked into the entryway “I can’t control her” “Who?” Dean asked but you knew the answer “Your mom right?” Dean looked at you for an explanation when Sam asked Timmy to tell you both about the fire. Him recounting what happened broke your heart for the kid but the fact remained his mom was the ghost killing people and from what he told Dean his action figure was the anchor so Dean turned the oven on and threw the action figure into the flame as you pushed Timmy to Robin inside the circle.

Turned out it was in fact not the action figure but Timmy himself working as the anchor. Dean managed to get through to Timmy so he could break the anchor and let his mom go. You ran to check on both boys once she let them go. “I’m good” Dean grunted and Sam nodded.

You watched as Timmy’s mom finally got to move on with a small smile then he ran to you and Dean and threw his arms around you both.

------

You tried not to watch Dean and Robin but failed. Sam put his arm around your shoulders where you both stood next to baby “You good?” “Peachy”

All of you said your goodbyes to Sonny then hit the road.

------

You were sitting quietly in the backseat until Dean cleared his throat “Anybody up to stop for the night?” you still had a few states to go so you said “Why not?”

He pulled off at the next exit and stopped at the first motel which was the bluebird inn. He glanced your way in the mirror “What’d you think?” you shrugged “Dean you and Sam have slept in baby and I’ve slept in my jeep. This is a five star resort simply because if we have to sleep in here I’m taking the whole backseat and you two can fight over the front” He grinned “Here it is then”

You helped Sam gather the bags while Dean got a room then you both followed him. He unlocked it and you started to simply collapse onto one of the beds but the shower was calling your name. “First shower!” you announced running to the door before Dean and playfully stuck your tongue out at him when you got there first.

--------

While you were in the shower Sam went on a food run,him and Dean were eating when you stepped out the bathroom. “Who wants it next?” Sam had less food than Dean so he closed his plate “I’m next”

You sat across from Dean at the small table and picked at your food. “Something wrong sweetheart? I’ve seen you order orange chicken every time we get chinese” you shook your head “Guess I’m more tired than hungry, which Winchester do I get the pleasure of listening to snore tonight?”

"I can take the couch” he offered and you rolled your eyes “Just for that now you must share a bed with me” he grinned “Is that so?” “Yes it is” you teased and by the time Sam got out of the shower you were already curling up under the blanket on the bed nearest the bathroom. “Night Sammy” “Night Y/N”

-----

You were half asleep when Dean climbed into the bed behind you “Y/N, it’s a little cold but I don’t want to get punched here” he whispered so you lifted the blanket and felt his feet bump the back of your legs so you rolled over to look at him “I can sleep however which position do you prefer?” he smiled at you “There are so many ways I could answer that but I’m taking the win that you’re finally in a bed with bed” you rolled your eyes and said “Goodnight Dean” “Night sweetheart”

You closed your eyes and felt him trying to get comfortable without invading your side of the bed so you opened one eye and threatened “If you do not go to sleep I will sleep on you dammit” “I’m in the room!” Sam groaned and you laughed realizing what you’d said “Sorry Sam but your brother is a fucking wiggle worm over here. Not like I’m the first woman that’s been in bed with him”  “First one I know will kick my ass if my hand slips” Dean muttered and you looked up at him. He was so damn close and you could smell that scent of leather and gunpowder that always seemed to cling to him and it took everything in you to not close the space between your lips.

"Y/N about what Charlie said.." You closed your eyes at the wave of embarrassment that came along with those words. Christ he knew, he knew and had flirted or tried to flirt with Robin in front of you. How much of a sign did you need that he'd never feel the same about you, you'd always be his little brother's best friend to him. "Can we just go to sleep?" You begged quietly both of you trying to keep your voices down as to not disturb Sam again.

You felt his fingers lightly brush across your cheek "If you open your eyes for me and just listen I'll gladly go to sleep after I say what I want to" you slowly opened your eyes and took a deep breath before meeting those green eyes you loved so much. "Dean I'm not some kid you can just say you don't feel the same ok?"

"What if I do though?" Your heart was pounding so loudly in your ears you weren't sure if you'd heard him right so you asked "What?"

"It's took me a little while to figure it out but sweetheart living in close quarters with you, hunting with you... I've got to see another part of you. I've always known you were smart and a damn good hunter but you're also the type of woman to make everyone dance in the kitchen first thing in the morning. You can make Sam laugh at any given moment and you make me talk about things going on inside my head when anyone would else would give up at it. You can comfort someone one moment and scare the fucking hell out of a demon the next. You're beautiful when you first wake up and a knockout when you go undercover and I really want to kiss you right now but.." You cut him off by pressing your lips against his.

The momentary surprise of you kissing him wore off quickly. You felt when he shifted slipping an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him. His lips moved against you gently, savoring the feeling.

A noise from Sam's bed made you pull apart quickly and you both looked over to see he was actually fast asleep and had just knocked a pillow off the bed. Dean let out a low laugh leaning his forehead over onto your chest "Guess that's our cue to get some sleep?" He asked leaving a light kiss on your throat before looking back up at your face.

You nodded trying to get your voice to work correctly "Um how do you want to sleep?" He settled onto his back and pulled you over to be laying on his chest. Your hand smoothed across the black t-shirt he was wearing trying to slow your brain down a bit to process what had just happened. "Already regretting wanting me?" He asked with the hint of a smirk but you could hear the actual hesitation under the sarcasm. You shook your head and laughed "Was just thinking Sam's reaction if he'd woke up to us kissing in the bed across from him" "He would've thrown something at us both" he joked then lightly kissed your forehead "Get some sleep. If you still want this come morning then we'll tell Sammy"

You fell asleep from the feeling of his fingers gently moving through your hair. 

-------

Sam whispering "So are you two finally together now or what?" to Dean was the first thing you heard when you started to wake up the next morning. You almost had the urge to remain quiet to see what Dean would say but instead you spoke as you stretched "Unless he's already changed his mind" making both of them look your way with a guilty expression. 

Dean was standing at the foot of Sam's bed repacking his bag and winked at you "Oh no Sweetheart. I'm a lot harder to get rid of than that" you smiled sleepily then cut your eyes at Sam "Unless you want to see me kiss your brother I suggest you make the coffee run" Sam laughed and grabbed the keys to baby "I'll grab breakfast too while I'm out" 

Dean watched him walk out then turned around and looked at you "So I got offered a kiss?" "Come get it" you replied and he grinned walking over to the bed. He slowly climbed onto the bed bracing his weight on his arms as he hovered over you "Good morning" he said before ducking his head down to catch your lips in a tentative kiss. 

You slid your arms up around his shoulders to pull him closer as he deepened the kiss. When you pulled away to catch your breath he moved down to your neck nudging at it until you moved enough to give him complete access. He kissed across it licking then nipping at the places that pulled a response out of you. When he bit down gently on your pulse point you let out a low moan "Fuck, do that again" he growled against your skin biting down just a little harder. You bucked your hips up against his letting out a light gasp when he ground down into you "Dean, christ either we've got to stop or this is going to go further than a few kisses" 

He made his way back up to your face and this time when he kissed you it was more possessive but just as gentle "I don't want you thinking that's all I'm after here" he whispered against your lips letting one hand trail down your side smiling at the little shiver you gave when his fingertips slid under your shirt and brushed across the bare skin. "And I'm happy about that Dean, really I am but waiting is easier said than done when you're touching me" he chuckled darkly then looked up at your face "Well what do you want to do here sweetheart? Because I'm yours no matter if we have sex or if we wait. You're stuck with me now"  

You took a few deep breaths then nodded "As much as I'd love to, I kind of don't like the idea of Sam waiting outside in the car for us to finish?" He smiled and kissed you once more "Fine by me. I'll let you get dressed and be a gentleman about it" he climbed off the bed and you saw him readjust himself in his jeans and had to stifle a laugh. He cut his eyes back at you "Laugh now sweetheart but the moment you tell me you want to, I'm going to do my best to make it hard on you to walk for a few days" you bit your lip at the promise and right before he walked outside you said "Well we are headed back to the bunker where we have two different bedrooms we can break in"  he winked at you then stepped out the door shutting it behind himself.

------

The ride back to the bunker you rode in the backseat as usual despite Sam's offer to switch seats. You didn't plan for that much to change about the dynamic you'd built with the boys. Just because you were now with Dean didn't change anything, did it?

You must have fell asleep at some point because the next thing you knew Dean was gently shaking your shoulder "Come on sleeping beauty, we're home"

You rolled your eyes then sat up straighter "Sam already head inside?" He nodded "We stopped to grab some food so he went to round Kevin up" You climbed out and reached back in for your bag but Dean beat you to it. You eyed the bag and he shrugged “Oh come on Y/N. You can let me shove my tongue down your throat but you wanna argue about me carrying your bag?” “Fair enough” you replied and was rewarded with one of those smiles that always made your heart flip. He held his hand out so you took it and let him lead the way inside.

-------

The moment the two of you made it into the interior door you heard Kevin say “I honestly thought they were already sleeping together” You stopped dead in your tracks and cleared your throat “Excuse me?” Kevin glanced up to see you and Dean standing at the head of the stairs and the guilt was clear on his face. He grinned then gathered his food “As I was telling Sam I am mid marathon on Netflix so I am going back to my room” you watched him scamper away and couldn’t help but laugh. Times like that you were reminded just how young he still was and it hurt your head to think about everything the kid had been through.

You followed Dean down the stairs and took your bag from him “I’m going to go put my stuff away, you two leave me some food” 

------

Dean watched you walk down the hall then looked back to see Sam was watching him. “What Sammy?” “Nothing, just you two are good together. I’ve seen it for a while” Sam answered with a shrug then grabbed his own bag and food “I’m going to go put my stuff away and grab a shower” “You headed to bed this early?” Dean questioned but Sam shrugged once again “Heading to bed, making sure I don’t stumble upon my brother and best friend in a compromising position however you want to put it”

------

You stepped out of your room and headed back towards the kitchen expecting to find Sam at the table but Dean was sitting alone and glanced up when you walked in. “I know Kevin retreated but where’d Sam get off to?” “Something about not wanting to catch us in a compromising position” he replied, taking a sip of the beer in his hand. 

Since Dean had already voiced the fact that he was concerned if the two of you slept together this soon you’d think he was only after sex you tried to act as if you’d thought about anything else besides how his lips felt on your skin. You walked to the fridge trying to ignore the way his eyes tracked your movement as you grabbed a beer out then walked back over to the table. “So what he thinks now we won’t be able to be around each other without you trying to throw me down on the nearest flat surface?”  Dean’s eyes skimmed up your body, biting his lip before he finally said “Something like that”

You took a sip of the beer and tried to look anywhere but at Dean as you said “So if I suggested we go to your room?” He was on his feet and to your side before you got the question out completely “I mean if you want” you took another swig of the beer then sat it down on the counter “Let me rephrase myself. Dean, can we go to your room now?” He smirked then pulled you into his arms capturing your lips in a lingering kiss full of unspoken promises. When he broke away from your lips leaving you a bit breathless he said “Lead the way sweetheart”

------

You stumbled into Dean’s door both of you working to kick your shoes off without breaking the kiss. Once you were inside he shut the door then pushed you back against it. He pulled back from you, both of your chests heaving slightly “Are you sure about this Y/N? About me?” “Just shut up and kiss me Dean” you replied with a slight laugh.

His hands went to the hem of your shirt and he hesitated for a moment before pulling it over your head letting it drop out of his hands once he had you bared. He started at your neck kissing down your jaw then across your collarbone savoring every sound he was able to pull from your lips. When he closed his mouth over your clothed breast you let out a low moan “Dean, bed please” he smiled against your skin and you felt his hands slide across your ass before he gripped your thighs to pull you up into his arms. You wrapped your legs around his waist capturing his lips in a messy kiss.

He walked the few steps to the bed then lowered you down onto it before pulling back long enough to pull his own shirt off then he climbed back onto the bed hovering over you. “I’ve wanted this for a while” he confessed, leaning his head down to kiss across your chest. “So have I” you whispered not trusting your voice to speak much louder. He chuckled then you felt his hands slide around you so you lifted up far enough he could unsnap your bra then he threw it somewhere behind him.

“Look at you, so damn beautiful” he murmured rolling your left nipple into his mouth teasing it with his tongue and teeth. “Oh fuck, Dean” you moaned tangling your fingers into his hair. He switched sides giving the right breast the same attention. You bucked your hips up against his and could feel how hard he already was through your jeans. “Use your words princess” he teased as he moved to leave a trail of open mouthed kisses across your stomach stopping just shy of the top of your jeans. “I need you” you whimpered not caring how desperate you sounded in that moment. Dean kissed your hip then moved to unsnap your jeans “Lift your hips for me baby” you did as he asked and felt the cool air hit your skin as he pulled the jeans off your legs and dropped them to the floor. A small part of you registered the fact that you were left completely bared to him but the rest of you could only concentrate on how Dean looked at you like you were the most beautiful thing he’d ever laid his eyes on. “If I do anything you don’t like, tell me ok?” he asked and you nodded. He winked at you before lowering his head down to lick into you. Your hips arched off the bed at the feeling but one of his arms snaked across your waist to hold you in place “Lay back and enjoy it sweetheart” he cooed before flicking his tongue across your clit and you felt the pressure in your stomach start to build. He slid one finger into you followed by another curling them up until they found that spot inside of you that made your eyes roll back. He kept pace with his tongue and fingers working you over that edge. When you came with a moan of his name on your lips he greedily lapped up your juices letting out a groan that vibrated through your core. 

When you became too sensitive you pushed his head away so he kissed his way back up your body until he got to your lips, kissing you sloppily and allowing you to taste yourself on him. “Please let me fuck you baby” he begged and christ hearing Dean Winchester sound like that was nearly enough to push you over that edge again   “Take your jeans off” you spoke and he quickly stood up long enough to push his jeans down off his hips then he climbed back onto the bed keeping his weight on his arms. You looked between you and felt your eyes widen slightly at his girth. He pressed his lips against yours in a gentle kiss “One more time, you’re sure?” you nodded “Yes Dean” He lined himself up with your entrance and you both let out a moan at the feeling of him slowly pushing into you.

Once he was completely sheathed inside of you he stilled letting you adjust to his size while he kissed down your neck. Once the sting of him stretching you gave way to the pleasurable fullness of him you moved your hips against his “Move baby” he started slowly rolling his hips into yours making your back arch off the bed at the feeling. “Dean, oh god” you moaned and that spurred his movements on. He snapped his hips forward into yours ripping a scream of pleasure from your lips. “Fuck you feel fucking amazing Y/N. God damn why didn’t we do this sooner” he groaned changing his angle just enough so that every thrust of his hips rubbed across that spot inside of you. “Right there Dean..oh fuck please don’t stop” you begged as your nails dug into his back. “Wasn’t planning on it” he grunted, keeping his pace the same as he slammed into you. You could feel that pressure building again and you must have clenched around him because he kissed your neck and said “Go ahead and come for me again baby. I won’t be far behind” his fingers came down to rub tight circles onto your clit and that was all it took to push you over the edge.

Your vision went soft around the edges as your second orgasm washed over you. You felt Dean’s hips falter as his thrusts started to become more frantic chasing the release. “Do I need to pull out?” he asked between gritted teeth. “No, I’m covered” you breathed, feeling yourself getting close to a third orgasm. He buried himself deep inside of you with one final thrust and the feeling of him coming coating inside of you pushed you over that edge again. “Holy hell Y/N” he spoke leaning his forehead over onto your chest while both of you worked to get your breathing back to normal. “Right back at you” you said then grimaced when you noticed the angry red claw marks littering his back “Shit, I marked the hell out of you Dean” He raised his head to glance over his shoulder at the marks and a grin slipped onto his face “Good, like I said I’m yours Y/N. Might as well mark your territory” you shook your head with a laugh that turned into a gasp when he pulled out of you. He reached down and found his shirt to use as a means of cleaning you both up. Once you were both as good as you could get he laid down next to you and pulled you into his arms “So, did I disappoint?” he asked and you cut your eyes up at him “Remind me to kick your ass for that question when the feeling comes back fully in my legs” he chuckled and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips “Sure thing baby”

Tags: @facadeformyrealblog @akshi8278

[alpacaparkaseok]

7 Secrets <pt. 11>

GENRE: Soulmate!au BTS!

WARNINGS: whole lot of uwu that’s what

WORD COUNT: 4.8k

I just...no words. I’ve been wanting to get to this point for a hot minute now, so I’m glad we’ve made it. No, this isn’t quite the end. Although we’re getting there. *cue tears* Have a happy halloween this weekend! <3

By the time we make it back to the house it’s nearly evening, seeing as Jin decided to take a detour and get lost. Kyung-soon didn’t mind, she took the opportunity to re-listen to Seventeen’s new album. And then listen to it again.

We’re nearly there when we get a call from Taehyung. Jin puts it on the car speakerphone.

“Hyung! Where are you?”

“We’ve been lost, that’s where-” Jin cuts Kyung-soon off with glare.

“We were hiking and enjoying the island. We’ll be there in ten minutes. Are you guys getting ready to eat?”

As if on cue my stomach growls. Our last meal was this morning, and the granola bars have only held up for so long.

“Yeah, we’re finishing up with the food now. Guess what we’re doing tonight, though?”

A few voices can be heard in the background. It sounds like utter chaos at the house. The sound of it brings a smile to my face.

“What? What are we doing?”

“Production team just finished editing the final episode! We’re going to project it on the side of the house and watch it!”

I nearly choke, Kyung-soon turning around and staring at me in horror. Namjoon chuckles, patting me on the back while I recover.

“That was...fast.” I mumble. The production crew must have been working overtime in order to finish up the final episode so we could watch it on our trip.

Kyung-soon is in the middle of involuntarily cringing. “Oh no, this is going to be horrible. So cringey.”

I nod in agreement, Jin reaching over to grab Kyung-soon’s hand. The houses pop up in the distance - we’re almost there.

“Just pretend that it’s somebody else,” Jin tries to reassure his soulmate. “I promise, it’s really not bad. We were thoroughly entertained.” He grins at Namjoon through the rear-view mirror.

“Yeah, and besides, you guys have seen plenty of weird content from us. Consider this an even playing field.” Namjoon adds.

“Ok, I’ll see you - huh? Oh, Ichika says hi. Alright, see you in a second.” Taehyung cuts the call.

↔

The side of the boys’ house has turned into a temporary movie screen. Taehyung is in the process of popping popcorn while Jungkook and Jimin are giving a detailed overview of three years worth of episodes.

I think they’ve forgotten that we were very much a part of those three years. After all, it is a documentary about us.

Aera sits beside Minsuh, the two of them grinning like cheshire cats at their soulmates. They look like they’re thinking the same thing that I am.

“Yah, so where did the last episode leave off?” Aera questions, raising her eyebrows at Jimin.

“What, you don’t remember what happened two weeks ago?” Himari asks, chuckling.

Aera shrugs her shoulders. “It’s been a busy week for all of us, I can hardly remember what happened two days ago.”

Namjoon emerges from the house, a couple of blankets in hand. His eyes scan the small crowd before landing on me where I stand beside Seohyun. I’ve been trying to get a feel for how her and Yoongi’s conversation went earlier, but I don’t dare ask anything too direct with Yoongi right there. He holds her hand, looking content as she explains how she tried and failed at painting.

“Where did the last episode leave off, Joon-ah?” Hoseok asks when Jimin and Jungkook have a hard time remembering the finer details. Namjoon is in the process of spreading a blanket out on the ground, motioning for me to come over.

“Umm…” He chews on the inside of his cheek for a moment before snapping his fingers. “Aera had just pitched her new designs, and everybody made dinner for her when she got home. Then they were just getting Beth’s room ready for her to come back.”

Aera blinks as though just remembering that she has an actual job. A job she’s really, really good at.

“I can’t believe you forgot about that!” Aera feigns offense and Jimin freezes in his spot, eyes wide. “That’s my whole career we’re talking about, Jimin!”

Jungkook gives his friend a pat on the shoulder before walking over to plop into the seat beside Minsuh.

“I-I remember it now…” Jimin pouts, looking at his soulmate with puppy eyes. Aera glares at him, never one to give in easily. In fact, Aera is the fiercest when it comes to these kinds of things.

If I remember correctly, I’ve heard the boys state on several occasions that Jimin is absolutely terrifying when he’s mad.

“Hey,” Namjoon grabs my attention from the show up front. “Wanna sit? I got us an extra blanket for if we get cold.”

“Perfect.” I settle down on the blanket, laughing as Jimin tries his best to escape Aera’s wrath. She’s currently moving his chair to the opposite end, as far away from her as possible.

Minsuh turns around to look at me, her eyebrows wiggling mischievously. “Are you ready for this cringefest?”

Namjoon chuckles, settling down beside me. The butterflies in my stomach kick things up into high gear just from sitting beside him. He checks the time on his phone, his new background pulling my attention away for a moment.

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” I sigh. Namjoon places a comforting hand on my knee, smiling at me when he realizes that I’m looking at his lock screen.

“It really is that bad usually. I swear.” I roll my eyes, knowing a lie when I hear one. “Hey,” he nudges me. “Let’s see your new phone background.”

I excitedly fish my phone out of my pocket, already chuckling at the thought of our candid photo. Showing it to Namjoon, Minsuh and Jungkook wander over to see what we’re laughing about.

“Oh my gosh, that’s so cute!” Minsuh gushes, laughing at me. “I’m guessing you learned today that Beth is terrified of heights?”

Namjoon nods, shooting me a pitiful look. “I sure did. I’m pretty sure she bruised one of my ribs in the process.”

Jungkook proceeds to ask Namjoon about the hike, sounding like he wants to venture out there tomorrow. Jin and Kyung-soon come back out with Tae and Ichika, all of them carrying a couple of bowls each filled to the brim with popcorn.

“Movie time!” Jimin shouts from where he and Aera disappeared around the house. A moment later he appears with his chair in one hand and lugging a disgruntled Aera along with the other.

As soon as all the popcorn is distributed Yoongi flips on the projector from the back. A moment later the song “Psycho” by RedVelvet blasts through the speakers, and the episode begins.

“Oh my gosh, I can’t believe they actually made that the theme song!” Seohyun shouts, already laughing as she and Minsuh appear on screen. Little title cards appear above their heads from where they study in the library, lost in their textbooks. I grin, all of this appearing a little surreal.

“I can’t believe we actually have a theme song!” Himari says. She’s the next one in the opening credits, trying and failing to flip a pancake. “Oh, come on, that’s how they introduce me?” Hoseok laughs beside her, his eyes darting from the screen back to his soulmate.

Next is Ichika, and I notice Taehyung scooting a little closer to her and she hides behind her hands. She’s opening the door to the apartment, her lopsided smile greeting the cameraman as she invites the cameras inside.

“This is the best part!” Jimin shouts.

The cameras follow Ichika inside the apartment and catch their next victim for the opening credits: Aera.

She’s clearly in a rush, probably running late for work. Careening down the stairs she freezes once she sees the camera, quickly pushing her hair out of her face as she waves before rushing out the door.

“See, told you it was the best part,” Jimin mumbles, Aera dissolving into a fit of giggles beside him.

Namjoon scoots closer, adjusting so that his right shoulder is just behind me. “Ready for the next part?” I can hear the smile in his voice.

Kyung-soon and I appear on screen, and I can hear my friend groaning from where she sits with Jin. We share a look across the way.

We’re sitting on the couch in the living room, locked in an intense game of rock, paper, scissors. Kyung-soon wins, and she throws her hands up in triumph right as our title cards appear. I get up wordlessly, walking straight out the door.

Despite how strange it is to be watching the documentary after all this time, I find myself shaking with laughter. Maybe we are kind of entertaining to watch, after all.

“Do you remember what we were playing for?” Kyung-soon asks me.

“I think it was over who had to call the takeout place.”

She laughs, returning her attention to the screen. I find myself avidly watching as well.

Episode basically from here until just before the end, enjoy! (actions/dialogue in real time will appear in as normal text, whereas the documentary is in italics)

Himari and Aera sit in the kitchen, both of them staring down at their breakfast. Himari glances up at Aera, noticing her worried expression.

“I’m sure they’ll call you soon. Anybody who turns you down is a complete idiot.”

Aera nods, not saying anything. Jimin reaches out to hold Aera’s hand. Minsuh comes in from down the hall, stretching.

“Morning,” she says around a yawn. “Any news A?”

Himari answers for her friend. “Not yet. What do you have going on today?”

Minsuh reaches for a bowl, waving at the kitchen camera like she does every morning. “Nothing much. I think Seohyun and I are going to study for a while, she’s going to help me prep for an exam I’ve got coming up. What about you guys?”

“Ichika and I have lessons. Want to join us, Aera? Brush up on your Japanese?”

“No,” Aera shakes her head. “I’m going to start getting Beth’s room ready.”

“Oh!” Himari grabs her phone from her back pocket. “That reminds me, I have to call that little punk.”

I gasp at Himari, my friend giving me a shy smile and shrugging.

Himari places the phone on speaker while the other two girls quietly eat their food and wait for me to answer.

“Was this the day before I flew out?” I ask no one in particular.

“Yeah, I think so.” Himari responds. Suddenly my voice cuts through the audio, and I physically cringe. Namjoon chuckles, reaching a hand up to steady me as I rock back against his chest.

“I knew you were going to call me,” I say, and Himari rolls her eyes while Minsuh snickers. “What’s up?”

“Are you all packed and ready to go?” Himari asks.

“Yeah, I think so. My flight leaves in...six hours. I’ll start heading to the airport in a couple of hours so I get there on time.”

“Hey, when’s the last time you logged anything?”

It’s silent on my side of the line for a while. “Er...a while.”

“Do I even want to know?”

“No, probably not.”

“Well this is me calling you and telling you to do your log before you leave. BigHit sent us some of those questions, answer them if you don’t know what to say.” My voice starts to cut in but Himari cuts me off. “I mean it! If you don’t I’m making sure you sleep on the couch when you get here.”

My sigh is audible, Aera looks up at Minsuh with the ghost of a smile.

“Ok, will do. I’ll log it as soon as I get off this call. How is everybody?”

Minsuh pipes up. “Hey Beth! We’re good!”

“Am I on speaker? Hey Min! Who else is there?”

“Just me,” Aera says, leaning closer to the phone. “I’m about to clean up your room so there aren’t any cobwebs. It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, B. I miss you.”

“Aw, I miss you too A. You don’t have to worry about my room...but make sure nobody has stolen my Jeju Island photo. Where’s everybody else?”

The camera jumps to another location, answering my very question. Kyung-soon is walking up to a nice looking apartment, double checking some files before kindly greeting a couple. She must have had a client.

Again the camera jumps, this time to a different continent where I’m settling down before my camera as I record my first log in months. I’m sitting at my kitchen island in my apartment back in the states, a picture of all the girls and I hanging on the wall behind me.

“Hello camera, it’s me again. Sorry for not logging in a while, I’ve been busy. And now I’m about to leave in a couple of hours to catch my flight to Seoul.” I look at my phone before me, reading something off of it. “This will be pretty quick, but I’ve got some of the questions BigHit sent me, so I’ll try to answer a few before I have to leave. Sound good?”

I scroll through the list of questions, eyebrows furrowed as I try to find a good one. “Hmm, it looks like these have gotten more and more personal over the years. I guess I’ll go with this one: ‘what do you look forward to the most returning to Seoul?’”

Shuffling in my seat I bite my lip as I stare down the camera. “I think I just get excited to be back with everybody. I know I don’t usually say anything like this, but I really miss them when I’m gone. I’m kind of stranded out here in the states. It’s hard to be here and know that all six of them get to stay together while I jump around from place to place. At least I’ll get to stay for a solid six months this time around, maybe more. Just depends.”

Namjoon fidgets behind me until he’s directly behind me. Slowly he pulls me back against his chest until I’m laying with my head tucked under his chin.

“Wow, this one’s intense. Should I just answer it? I doubt anybody will actually ever watch this. I feel like my logs are pretty boring. It says, ‘if you could go back and say anything to yourself three years ago, what would you say?’”

I lean back against my chair, pushing my hair out of the way. “I’m not sure I would really say much. There was just so much going on, it was information overload. I remember when I woke up the next morning, I thought everything was a dream. My sister had no clue, so I just left her a note and left our hotel to go on a run.” I laugh a little, recalling the memory. “I probably looked so crazy! This white girl running around Seoul like a maniac. I finally got to a point where I stopped, and finally was starting to calm down. Then, ha! Oh my gosh I remember this like it was yesterday, seriously. I checked my phone and saw that I had a notification from Weverse. It said ‘RM commented on so and so’s post’ and I lost it. Right there in the middle of this random park I started bawling. I was so overwhelmed.”

Namjoon’s grip tightens on me, and I take a deep breath. I’d honestly forgotten that I’d even done this log, I really didn’t think they’d put it into the documentary.

“So if I could go back to three years ago, I think I’d go to that moment and just give myself a hug. I was so terrified and had nobody to talk to. I’d hug myself, and say, you figure out how to keep moving forward. Just enjoy the ride, because it’s a crazy one.”

The screen fades out, my voice still narrating as I talk over the others girls’ actions. Kyung-soon is helping that couple to sign some paperwork.

“It’s definitely been crazy, but I’m better because of it.” I narrate and Kyung-soon gives an award winning smile to the couple, saying her goodbyes before heading back to her car.

Now we’re watching Minsuh laugh about something with Himari in the kitchen.

“I don’t want to think about where I’d be without my soul sisters, they mean so much to me. I really never thought I’d meet people as amazing as them in my life.”

Aera is in my room, sweeping and straightening my photo of Jeju Island.

“Sometimes I still wonder if there’s been a huge mistake and I’ll get a call from BigHit saying that I don’t actually have a soulmate. Things are so good that I think they may be too good.”

Seohyun jogs in a park, making faces at the camera each time she passes in front of it.

“But I’ll just keep living this dream for as long as fate will let me.”

Ichika struggles up the stairs to the apartment, grocery bags all over the place. The camera shakes as it’s set on the ground, and the cameraman assisting her.

“And as for the last question for this log… ‘if you could say a single sentence to your soulmate, what would you say?’”

Suddenly we’re back in my apartment, where I give a side smile to the camera.

“Hey Namjoon, wanna go out sometime?” Winking at the camera I lean up and turn it off.

The screen goes black, and then words cut across the screen.

Final Installment- Episode 132 “Finally.”

Everybody comes back to life as the introduction to the final episode ends and the rest of the episode starts up. Namjoon leans down to whisper in my ear.

“I’m sorry for making you cry in the park that morning.”

I shake my head. “I can’t believe you’re apologizing for that and not for trying to kill me earlier.”

My body shakes with Namjoon’s laugh, and we settle down to continue watching the documentary before us.

Kyung-soon stands in the living room with a huge mass of balloons before her. Minsuh comes up behind her, staring in awe.

“That’s a lot of balloons.”

Kyung-soon nods, biting her bottom lip. “Do you think it’s too much?”

“No, I think it looks great. Just, how are we going to get them into the car?”

“I have no idea.”

The two of them discuss possible game plans as Himari wanders in looking at her phone.

“Ok everyone! She’s over the ocean between us and Japan. We should probably get going. Wow,” she finally notices the balloons. “Looks good, Soon-ah. Don’t fly away, though. Seokjin would be so upset.”

Footsteps sound as the other three girls come in, each one’s attention going straight to the balloons.

“Ha! That’s amazing.” Ichika says. “She’s going to die when she sees that.”

The scene cuts to the airport, the girls anxiously waiting at the bottom of the stairs. Himari once again checks her phone for my flight information.

“It says that the flight landed fifteen minutes ago, she should be here any second.”

Aera nudges her. “Yah, you’re acting like your long lost lover has finally returned.”

Himari raises her eyebrows. “And?”

“Oh, there she is!” Seohyun shouts, and sure enough I appear on camera. Hat down low and a mask on I wave at everyone. A few people pause to look at all the commotion before continuing on.

Namjoon whispers to me again. “You look like a celebrity with your hat and mask.”

I chuckle, watching my reunion with the girls that only happened earlier this week. “I felt like one, too.”

My soulmate lets out a breathy laugh when the girls start teasing me, asking me what my reaction would be if he were the one to pick me up from the airport.

“You know, I’ve noticed that you’re really good at avoiding teasing.”

“I’ve had lots of practice.”

The documentary skips to our apartment, the girls hanging out in the living room debating whether or not to wake me up or let me sleep.

“I’m going to wake her up, she’s probably starving.” Aera says, and Minsuh follows her out of the room. The other girls remain in the room, Seohyun talking about one of her classes.

I nearly fall asleep in Namjoon’s arms, it’s so comfy. What brings me out of my stupor is the distinct sound of Seohyun’s rendition of “Mic Drop” and everybody laughing along with her.

I watch as we enjoy the show, Kyung-soon announcing to everyone that we’re going on ahead. Suddenly I jolt up, Namjoon jumping at the sudden movement. I remember what comes after this.

“What’s wrong?” Namjoon asks. “Did you see a bug?”

“No…” My attention is pulled into the documentary as Kyung-soon and I quietly converse. “It’s just - that was a hard night for me. That’s all.”

I can feel Namjoon’s eyes assessing me but I refuse to look at him for fear of him seeing right through me.

“If you’re uncomfortable we can go inside,” he offers.

Finally I look over to him. He calmly returns my gaze, awaiting my answer.

“I think I’m fine for now. Just, don’t judge me, ok?”

Namjoon nods fervently. “Never.” Extending his arms out, he pulls me back into his chest. “Let me know if you want to leave, and we’ll go.”

Kyung-soon and I appear on the balcony of our apartment, where we both study the stars above us.

“I can’t-”

“You have to. Beth, please don’t lock us out and keep all of these feelings to yourself. You don’t have to tell us every little thing, but you need to talk about it. Just because you don’t say it out loud doesn’t mean that you won’t feel scared or worried anymore.”

The tension is palpable as my sobs cut through the silence. I’m pretty sure Namjoon stopped breathing.

“I look at our boys, and I feel like they’re already complete. They have each other, they have ARMY, they’re complete. They have no idea that soulmates are even a thing, let alone that they have soulmates. There’s a part of me that’s mad about that. Mad that for the last three years I’ve been waiting for a man that is already happy without me, that is already more loved that he can even fathom. Mad at freaking Mr. Bang, because he refuses to tell them until the ‘time is right’. It’s been three years! And I’ve picked myself back up and tried my hardest to continue on in my career, and it’s fulfilling. I have the most amazing friends in the world, my family is so loving and supportive, and I love my job. So why do I feel so lonely?”

Namjoon wraps his arms around me tightly, and I feel that strange ache in my chest again. This time, though, it aches and aches until it cracks. With it, come the tears.

Like a dam come undone the tears flow from my eyes as the echoes of my sobs from the documentary cut through the night. Namjoon holds me tighter, tighter until he’s all I can feel.

“You know what, come here.” Namjoon says, his voice thick. He stands, pulling me up with him. We’re near the back, so nobody really notices us as Namjoon pulls me away. He leads me around my beach house until we’re completely blocked from view. The audio from the documentary follows me, and I keep my eyes trained on the ground as the tears blur my vision.

Namjoon finally comes to a stop, his hands resting firmly on my shoulders. I can’t bring myself to look up at him, thoroughly humiliated at one of my most vulnerable moments being on full display.

“Beth, look at me.” I shake my head, angrily wiping away my tears. He reaches up to catch a tear as it rolls down my cheek. “Look at me. Please.”

Again I shake my head, completely mortified at the situation I’m in. Wasn’t this supposed to be a fun trip? Worry-free?

“Ok, that’s ok. You don’t have to.” Namjoon moves to grab my shoulders again. “I just need you to listen to me. Can you do that for me?”

I clench my teeth as I nod, trying so hard to keep in my sobs.

“Alright. I am so-” his voice cracks and he takes a moment before speaking again. “I am so sorry, Beth. For all of it. For making you feel that way. I wish - I just wish we could have avoided all that heartache and pain. You were so strong, for so long. You still are, I can see that. From the second we first met I saw that you are strong and the most incredible person to ever walk the earth. I might be a bit biased,” I croak out a laugh which seems to spur him on, “but nobody can change my mind about you. I was lonely, too. Did you know that? Even with all the love I receive every day, I’m still lonely. Do you know how infuriating that is?”

Steeling my nerves I peak up at him. My heart twists further when I see the tears running down my soulmate’s face. He continues on, paying them no mind.

“I felt like there was something so wrong with me, but I learned with time that it’s normal. Everybody feels lonely. It’s a horrible feeling, and confusing sometimes. Especially when it feels like you have every reason to be happy. But we’re human. This is part of our human experience, as much as it sucks. Beth,” Namjoon rests a hand under my chin when my eyes fall again, gently urging me to look up at him. “I don’t feel alone anymore. That’s because of you. Just seeing you, I feel like everything is going to be alright. Do you see how amazing that is? I’m not lonely anymore. Please, Beth.” He releases a shaky breath, the earnestness in his eyes bringing a fresh wave of tears to my eyes. “Let me try. I don’t want you to feel alone anymore. Let me in,” Namjoon gestures to his heart, “and I swear I’ll never leave.”

Staring up at him, I know he’s telling the truth. I can tell he means every word he’s saying. But I have to know. I have to ask.

“You’ve been promising a lot of things,” I mutter, inhaling sharply as the tears rush down my face. “Are you sure you can keep all your promises? Please, Namjoon. Please don’t promise me something you can’t keep.”

Gently brushing the tears from my face, Namjoon leans in. Slowly, and close enough that I can see the light reflected in the tears still on his face. My heart, limp and weak as it may be, jumps at the close proximity.

“Do you mind if I make another promise?” Namjoon whispers before his lips brush up against my cheek. I freeze as he licks the salty mixture from his lips before moving to the other side.

“N-no,” I mumble.

Just there, the only warning I have is the feeling of his warm breath before he sweetly kisses away the remaining tears on my other cheek.

He pulls away just enough to look into my eyes. “I promise that I will never make you a promise that I cannot keep.”

Eyes drifting down to my mouth he tilts my head up ever so slightly. My eyes drift shut of their own accord, the only thing keeping me tied to the earth being Namjoon’s hands that hold me like I may break at any moment.

The first brush of his lips takes my breath away, the feeling so light that I wonder for a brief moment if this isn’t all just in my head.

Slowly he deepens the kiss, just enough for the salty tang of my tears on his lips to seep into my senses. The bittersweet taste has me reaching out to him, hands fisting the material over his chest. I cling to my soulmate as he clings to me, and even the world slows for a moment in order to accommodate this moment. Fate has never been my friend, but in this sliver of time I feel that it has been uncommonly kind to me.

By the time we pull away, resting our foreheads together, the ache in my heart has subsided. Namjoon’s hands slide down to my waist, holding me in place. As if I’d go anywhere.

I look up at my soulmate only to find his eyes still shut, drinking in the moment. Taking the precious seconds fate has given me, I study him out. Bliss suits him.

As though feeling my gaze, his eyes slide open. A small smile crosses his features, and the word that I have come to associate with Kim Namjoon over the past couple of days reappears in my mind’s eye, hanging over us like the stars in the sky.

Perfect.

Previous - Next

Taglist is open! Happy Halloween this weekend everyone! Thoughts? They finally kissed! (lol, finally. they’ve known each other for what, two or three days?) I love these two. Stay safe and healthy! 

taglist: @mae-musicbitch @taylorroe3​ @heartblackerthancoffee @eusticenatalie @agustneeds

[marlborodean]

spn quotes: season one

i’m collecting a bunch of quotes from the show! favorite lines, good points of characterization, etc. all organized by episode and character, and with timestamps!

w/ncest shippers get lost

season two.

1. PILOT

Dean—

[Sam: So we kill everything we can find.] Save a lot of people doing it, too. (08:51)

I can’t do this alone. [Sam: Yes, you can.] Yeah. Well, I don’t want to. (09:30)

[Officer: So. Fake U.S. Marshal, fake credit cards. You got anything that’s real?] My boobs. (28:50)

Sam—

When I told Dad I was scared of the thing in my closet, he gave me a .45. [Dean: What was he supposed to do?] I was 9 years old. He was supposed to say, “Don’t be afraid of the dark.” (08:30)

You think Mom would’ve wanted this for us? (08:58)

We were raised like warriors. (09:06)

[Dean: Are you just gonna live some normal, apple-pie life? Is that it?] No, not normal. Safe. [And that’s why you ran away.] I was just going to college. It was Dad who said if I was gonna go, I should stay gone. (09:09)

[Dean: You’re really serious about this, aren’t you? You think you’re just gonna become some lawyer, marry your girl?] Maybe. Why not? [Does Jessica know the truth about you? I mean, does she know about the things you’ve done?] No, and she’s not ever going to know. [Well, that’s healthy. You can pretend all you want, Sammy, but sooner or later you’re gonna have to face up to who you really are.] And who is that? [One of us.] No. I’m not like you. This is not going to be my life. (22:45)

If it weren’t for pictures, I wouldn’t even know what Mom looks like. What difference would it make? Even if we do find the thing that killed her, Mom’s gone, and she isn’t coming back. (23:17)

2. W*ND*G* ( x )

Dean—

Her brother’s missing, Sam. She’s not just gonna sit this out. (14:55)

[Hailey: And you’re hiking out in biker boots and jeans?] Well, sweetheart, I don’t do shorts. (15:54)

I’m supposed to be the belligerent one, remember? (25:13)

The way I see it, Dad’s given us a job to do, and I intend to do it. (26:31)

All that anger, you can’t keep it burning over the long haul. It’s gonna kill you. You gotta have patience, man. [Sam: How do you do it? How does Dad do it?] Well, for one, them. I mean, I figure our family’s so screwed to hell, maybe we can help some others. It makes things a little bit more bearable. And I’ll tell you what else helps. Killing as many evil sons of bitches as I possibly can. (27:05)

Sam—

[Dean: No, you’re not fine. You’re like a powder keg, man. It’s not like you.] (25:06)

3. DEAD IN THE WATER

Dean—

You don’t think I want to find Dad as much as you do? [Sam: Yeah, I know you do, it’s just—] I’m the one that’s been with him every single day for the past two years while you’ve been off to college going to pep rallies. We will find Dad, but until then, we’re gonna kill everything bad between here and there, okay? (04:09)

Well, maybe you don’t think anyone will listen to you, or... or believe you. I want you to know that I will. (11:58)

You’re scared. It’s okay. I understand. See, when I was your age, I saw something real bad happen to my mom, and I was scared, too. I didn’t feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom—I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that everyday. And I do my best to be brave. (20:14)

What if we missed something? What if more people get hurt? [Sam: But why would you think that?] Because Lucas was really scared. [That’s what this is about?] I just don’t want to leave town until I know the kid’s okay. (29:48)

Sam—

People don’t just disappear, Dean. Other people just stop looking for them. (03:51)

4. PHANTOM TRAVELER

Dean—

It’s your job to keep my ass alive, so I need you sharp. (05:18)

Sam—

[Dean: It’s your job to keep my ass alive, so I need you sharp.] (05:18)

[Jerry: Well, he was real proud of you, I could tell. You know, he talked about you all the time.] He did? (07:09)

Hey, hey, it’s just a little turbulence. [Sam, this place is going to crash, okay? So quit treating me like I’m friggin’ 4.] You need to calm down. [Well, I’m sorry, I can’t!] Yes, you can. [Dude. Stow the touchy-feely, self-help yoga crap. It’s not helping.] Listen, if you’re panicked, you’re wide open to demonic possession, so you need to calm yourself down right now. (30:26)

5. BLOODY MARY

Dean—

Do I look like Paris Hilton? (18:08)

Her boyfriend killing himself, that’s not really Charlie’s fault. (29:54)

Now listen to me. It wasn’t your fault. It you want to blame something, then blame the thing that killed her. Or, hell, why don’t you take a swing at me? I’m the one that dragged you away from her. [Sam: I don’t blame you.] Well, you shouldn’t blame yourself, because there’s nothing you could’ve done. (31:24)

Sam—

[Dean: Hell, why don’t you take a swing at me? I’m the one that dragged you away from her.] I don’t blame you. (31:37)

Charlie. Your boyfriend’s death, you really should try to forgive yourself. No matter what you did, you probably couldn’t have stopped it. Sometimes bad things just happen. (40:37)

6. SKIN

Dean—

He’s sure got issues with you. You got to go to college. He had to stay home. I mean, I had to stay home with Dad. You don’t think I had dreams of my own? But Dad needed me. See, deep down, I’m just jealous. You got friends, you could have a life. Me? I know I’m a freak. And sooner or later, everybody’s gonna leave me. [Sam: What are you talking about?] You left. Hell, I did everything Dad asked me to, and he ditched me, too. (24:21)

Sam—

[Rebecca: It must be lonely.] Oh, no. No, it’s not so bad. Anyway, what can I do? It’s my family. (39:02)

Misc—

Shifter: Evolution is about mutation, right? So maybe this thing was born human, but was different. Hideous and hated. Until he learned to become someone else. (27:14)

7. HOOK MAN

Dean—

I told you, you don’t have to be a college graduate to be a genius. (14:59)

[Sam: Hey, be quiet.] Me be quiet? You be quiet! (19:48)

Sam—

[Dean: You’ve been holding out on me. This college thing is awesome!] This wasn’t really my experience. [Let me guess—library, studying, straight A’s. What a geek.] (21:30)

8. BUGS

Dean—

Growing up in a place like this would freak me out. [Sam: Why?] The manicured lawns, how-was-your-day-honey? I’d blow my brains out. [There’s nothing wrong with normal.] I’d take our family over normal any day. (08:21)

[Sam: You’ll be able to get out of that house and away from your dad.] What kind of advice is that? Kid should stick with his family. (20:26)

Hey, so with that kid back there, how could you tell him to just ditch his family like that? [Sam: Just, uh, I know what the kid’s going through.] How about telling him to respect his old man? How’s that for advice? (23:20)

Matt, under no circumstances are you to tell the truth. He’ll just think you’re nuts. Tell him you have a sharp pain in your right side and you gotta go to the hospital, okay? [Matt: Yeah, okay.] Make him listen? What are you thinking? (32:44)

Sam—

Remind you of somebody? Dad? [Dean: Dad never treated us like that.] Well, Dad never treated you like that. You were perfect. He was all over my case. ...You don’t remember. [Dean: Well, maybe he had to raise his voice but sometimes you were out of line.] Right. Right, like when I said I’d rather play soccer than learn bowhunting. (11:46)

[Matt: Larry doesn’t listen to me.] Why not? [Mostly? He’s too disappointed in his freak son.] I hear ya. [Dean: You do?] Matt, how old are you? [Matt: Sixteen.] Well, don’t sweat it, ‘cause in two years something great’s gonna happen. [What?] College. You’ll be able to get out of that house and away from your dad. (20:04)

[Dean: Hey, so with that kid back there, how could you tell him to just ditch his family like that?] Just, uh, I know what the kid’s going through. [How about telling him to respect his old man? How’s that for advice?] Dean, come on. This isn’t about his old man. You think I didn’t respect Dad, that’s what this is about. [Just forget it, alright? Sorry I brought it up.] I respected him. But no matter what I did, it was never good enough. [So what are you saying, that Dad was disappointed in you?] Was? Is! Always has been. [Why would you think that?] Because I didn’t wanna bowhunt or hustle pool, because I wanted to go to school and live my life, which to our whacked-out family, made me the freak. (23:20)

Dean, you know what most dads are when their kids score a full-ride? Proud. Most dads don’t toss their kids out of the house. [Dean: I remember that fight. In fact, I seem to recall a few choice phrases coming out of your mouth.] You know, truth is, when we finally do find Dad, I don’t know if he’s even gonna wanna see me. (24:05)

9. HOME

Dean—

And then you tell me that I’ve got to go back home, especially when... [Sam: When what?] When I swore to myself that I would never go back there. (07:56)

I remember the fire, the heat. Then I carried you out the front door. [Sam: You did?] Yeah, well, you never knew that? [No.] (12:38)

I don’t know what to do. So, whatever you’re doing. if you could get here... please. I need your help, Dad. (14:45)

Sam—

[Dean: I remember the fire, the heat. Then I carried you out the front door.] You did? [Yeah, well, you never knew that?] No. (12:38)

Misc—

Missouri: All those years ago, real evil came to you. It walked this house. That kind of evil leaves wounds, and sometimes wounds get infected. (27:15)

10. ASYLUM

Dean—

[Sam: This is a job. Dad wants us to work a job.] Yeah, well, maybe we’ll meet up with him. Maybe he’s there. [Maybe he’s not. I mean, he could be sending us there by ourselves to hunt this thing.] Who cares? If he wants us there, it’s good enough for me. [This doesn’t strike you as weird? The texting, the coordinates?] Sam. Dad’s telling us to go somewhere. We’re going. (07:05)

[Sam: We deserve some answers. I mean, this is our family we’re talking about.] I understand that, Sam, but he’s given us an order. [So what, we gotta always follow Dad’s order?] Of course we do. (12:17)

[Sam: I mean, why are we even here? ‘Cause you’re following Dad’s orders like a good little soldier? ‘Cause you always do what he says without question? Are you that desperate for his approval?] (36:52)

Sam—

[Dean: We’ve got to burn Ellicott’s bones, and all this will be over, and you’ll be back to normal.] I am normal. I’m just telling you the truth for the first time. I mean, why are we even here? ‘Cause you’re following Dad’s orders like a good little soldier? ‘Cause you always do what he says without question? Are you that desperate for his approval? [This isn’t you talking.] That’s the difference between you and me. I have a mind of my own. I’m not pathetic like you. [So what are you gonna do? You gonna kill me?] You know, I am sick of doing what you tell me to do. (36:43)

11. SCARECROW

Dean— 

[Sam: I don’t understand the blind faith you have in the man. I mean, it’s like you don’t even question him.] Yeah, it’s called being a good son. You’re a selfish bastard, you know that? You just do whatever you want. You don’t care what anyone thinks. (08:08)

[Sam: You know, if you’re hinting you need my help, just ask.] I’m not hinting anything. Actually, uh... I want you to know... I mean, don’t think... [Yeah. I’m sorry, too.] Sam.... You were right. You got to do your own thing. You got to live your own life. [You serious?] You’ve always known what you want, and you go after it. You stand up to Dad. I mean, you always have. Hell, I wish I.... Anyway. I admire that about you. I’m proud of you, Sammy. [I don’t even know what to say.] Say you’ll take care of yourself. (25:04)

Sam—

[Dean: Dad doesn’t want our help.] I don’t care. [He’s given us an order.] I don’t care. We don’t always have to do what he says. [Sam, Dad is asking us to work jobs, to save lives. It’s important.] Alright, I understand. Believe me, I understand. But I’m talking one week here, man, to get answers. To get revenge. [Alright, look, I know how you feel.] Do you? How old were you when Mom died, 4? Jess died six months ago. How the hell would you know how I feel? (07:25)

[Meg: I had to get away from my family.] Why? [I love my parents. And they wanted what’s best for me. They just didn’t care if I wanted it. I was supposed to be smart, but not smart enough to scare away a husband. Well, it’s just.... Because my family said so, I’m supposed to sit there and do what I was told. So I just went on my own way instead. ...I’m sorry. The things you say to people you hardly know.] No, no, it’s okay. I know how you feel. Remember that brother I mentioned before that I was road-tripping with? It’s kind of the same deal. [And that’s why you’re not riding with him anymore? ...Here’s to us. The food might be bad, and the beds might be hard, but at least we’re living our own lives and nobody else’s.] (21:11)

[Med: You’re running back to your brother? The guy you ran away from? Why, because he won’t pick up his phone? Sam, come with me to California.] I can’t. I’m sorry. [Why not?] He’s my family. (31:13)

12. FAITH

Dean—

Looks like you’re gonna leave town without me. [Sam: What are you talking about? I’m not gonna leave you here.] You better take care of that car. I swear I’ll haunt your ass. [I don’t think that’s funny.] Oh, come on, it’s a little funny. (04:44)

[Sam: Maybe it’s time to have a little faith, Dean.] You know what I got faith in? Reality—knowing what’s really going on. [How can you be a skeptic, with the things we see every day?] Exactly, we see them. We know they’re real. [But if you know evil’s out there, how can you not believe good’s out there too?] ‘Cause I’ve seen what evil does to good people. (08:10)

[Roy: I looked into your heart and you just...stood out from all the rest.] What did you see in my heart? [A young man with an important purpose. A job to do. And it isn’t finished.] (15:27)

You never should’ve brought me here. [Sam: Dean, I was just trying to save your life.] Sam, some guy is dead now because of me. (19:30)

The guy is playing God, deciding who lives and dies. That’s a monster in my book. (22:42)

[Layla: I wish you luck. I really do.] Same to you. You deserve it a lot more than me. (30:38)

[Sam: To cross a line like that, that preacher’s wife—black magic, murder. Evil.] Desperate. Her husband was dying. She would’ve done anything to save him. (31:35)

God save us from half the people who think they’re doing God’s work. (32:04)

[Sam: What’s happening to her is horrible. But what are you gonna do? Let somebody else die to save her? You said it yourself, Dean—you can’t play God.] (32:58)

Must be rough, to believe in something so much and have it disappoint you like that. (40:57)

You know, I’m not much of the praying type, but I’m gonna pray for you. [Layla: Well. There’s a miracle right there.] (42:00)

Sam—

[Dean: I’m gonna die. And you can’t stop it.] Watch me. (05:23)

[Dean: You’re not gonna let me die in peace, are you?] I’m not gonna let you die, period. (07:04)

How can you be a skeptic, with the things we see everyday? [Dean: Exactly, we see them. We know they’re real.] If you know evil’s out there, how can you not believe good’s out there too? (08:18)

[The guy is playing God, deciding who lives and dies. That’s a monster in my book.] No, we’re not gonna kill a human being, Dean. We do that, we’re no better than he is. (22:42)

Misc—

Layla: I guess if you’re gonna have faith, you can’t just have it when the miracles happen. You have to have it when they don’t. (41:19)

13. ROUTE 666

Dean—

[Sam: Look man, everybody’s got to open up to someone sometime.] Yeah, I don’t. It was stupid to get that close. (13:06)

[Cassie: Whenever we get—what’s the word?—close? Anywhere in the neighborhood of emotional vulnerability, you back off or make some joke or find any way to shut the door on me.] (15:19)

Sam—

You told her. You told her the secret. Our big family rule number one—we do what we do and we shut up about it. For a year and a half, I do nothing but lie to Jessica, and you go out with this chick in Ohio a couple of times, and you tell her everything? (04:18)

Oh, my life was so simple. Just school, exams, papers on polycentric cultural norms. [Dean: So I guess I saved you from a boring existence.] Occasionally I miss boring. [So, this killer truck—] I miss conversations that didn’t start with “this killer truck.” (29:31)

Ever make you wonder if it’s worth it? Putting everything on hold, doing what we do? (39:10)

14. NIGHTMARE

Dean—

[Sam: Well, with what he went through, the beatings, to want revenge on those people—I’m sorry, man. I hate to say it, but it’s not that insane.] Yeah, but it doesn’t justify murdering your entire family. [Dean—] He’s no different than anything else we’ve hunted. Alright? We gotta end him. [We’re not gonna kill Max.] Then what? Hand him over to the cops and say, “Lock him up, officer. He kills people with the power of his mind.” [Forget it. No way, man.] Sam— [Dean, he’s a person. We can talk to him. Hey, promise me you’ll follow my lead on this one.] Alright, fine. But I’m not letting him hurt anybody else. (25:01)

[Sam: We’re lucky we had Dad.] I never thought I’d hear you say that. [Well, it could have gone a whole ‘nother way after Mom. A little more tequila, a little less demon hunting, then we would have had Max’s childhood. All things considered, we turned out okay. Thanks to him.] All things considered. (38:27)

As long as I’m around, nothing bad’s gonna happen to you. (41:27)

Sam—

Well, I know one thing I have in common with these people. [Dean: What’s that?] Both our families are cursed. [Our family’s not cursed. We’ve just... had our dark spots.] Our dark spots are pretty dark. (19:13)

I was connecting to Max. The thing I don’t get it why, man. I guess because we’re so alike? [Dean: What are you talking about? Dude’s nothing like you.] Well, we both have psychic abilities. We’re both— [Both what? Sam, Max is a monster. He’s already killed two people, now he’s gunning for a third.] Well, with what he went through, the beatings, to want revenge on those people—I’m sorry, man. I hate to say it, but it’s not that insane. (24:43)

If I just said something else, gotten through to him somehow. [Dean: Don’t do that.] Do what? [Torture yourself. It wouldn’t have mattered what you said. Max was too far gone.] When I think about how he looked at me, man, right before.... I should have done something. [Come on, man, you risked your life. I mean, yeah, maybe if we’d have gotten there 20 years earlier.] Well, I’ll tell you one thing. We’re lucky we had Dad. [I never thought I’d hear you say that.] Well, it could have gone a whole ‘nother way after Mom. A little more tequila, a little less demon hunting, then we would have had Max’s childhood. All things considered, we turned out okay. Thanks to him. (38:03)

15. THE BENDERS

Dean—

Look... he’s family. And I kind of—I kind of look out for the kid. You gotta let me go with you. [Kathleen: I’m sorry, I can’t do that.] Well, tell me something. Your country has its fair share of missing persons. Any of ‘em come back? Sam’s my responsibility, and he’s coming back. I’m bringing him back. (08:56)

When we were young, I pretty much pulled him from a fire. And ever since then, I’ve felt responsible for him. You know, like it’s my job to keep him safe. I’m just afraid if we don’t find him fast.... Please. He’s my family. (15:04)

Demons, I get. People are crazy. (28:08)

If you hurt my brother, I’ll kill you, I swear. I’ll kill you all. I will kill you all! (35:54)

16. SHADOW

Dean— 

[Sam: What are you gonna do when it’s all over?] It’s never gonna be over. There’s gonna be others. There’s always gonna be something to hunt. [But there’s got to be something that you want for yourself.] Yeah, I don’t want you to leave the second this thing’s over, Sam. [Dude. What’s your problem?] Why do you think I drag you everywhere, huh? Why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place? [’Cause Dad was in trouble. ‘Cause you wanted to find the thing that killed Mom.] Yes, that, but it’s more than that, man. You and me and Dad. I want us to be together again. I want us to be a family again. [Dean, we are a family. I’d do anything for you. But things will never be the way they were before.] They could be. (24:04)

Sam— 

What if this whole thing was over tonight? Man, I’d sleep for a month. Go back to school, just be a person again. (23:42)

Dean, we are a family. I’d do anything for you. But things will never be the way they were before. [Dean: They could be.] I don’t want them to be. I’m not gonna live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you’re gonna have to let me go my own way. (25:02)

Misc—

[Sam: Go to hell.] Meg: Baby, I’m already there. (30:22)

17. HELL HOUSE

Dean—

People believe in Santa Clause. How come I’m not getting hooked up every Christmas? [Sam: ‘Cause you’re a bad person.] (27:01)

Sam—

Man, we’re not kids anymore, Dean. We’re not gonna start that crap up again. [Dean: Start what up?] That prank stuff. It’s stupid, and it always escalates. (04:24)

Kind of makes you wonder—of all the things we hunted, how many existed just ‘cause people believed in them? (37:17)

18. SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES

Dean—

[Sam: What makes you so sure?] Well, because I’m the oldest, which means I’m always right. [No it doesn’t.] It totally does. (03:38)

Listen to me. I can promise you that this is not your fault, okay? [Michael: It’s my job to look after him.] (20:53)

I know how you feel, I’m a big brother, too. But you got to go easy on your mom right now, okay? (21:24)

Dad did not send me here to walk away. [Sam: Send you here? He didn’t send you here, he sent us here.] This isn’t about you, Sam, alright? I’m the one that screwed up. It’s my fault. There’s no telling how many kids have gotten hurt because of me. (25:35)

Dad never spoke about it again. I didn’t ask. But he, uh... he looked at me different, you know, which was worse. Not that I blame him. He gave me an order, and I didn’t listen, and I almost got you killed. [Sam: You were just a kid.] Don’t—don’t. Dad knew this was unfinished business for me. He sent me here to finish it. (29:26)

Are you sure you want to do this? You don’t have to. It’s okay, I won’t be mad. (33:57)

[Sam: Sometimes I wish that...] What? [I wish I could have that kind of innocence.] If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could, too. (40:05)

Sam—

Dean, I’m sorry. [Dean: For what?] You know. I’ve really given you a lot of crap for always following Dad’s orders, but I know why you do it. (34:39)

Sometimes I wish that... [Dean: What?] I wish I could have that kind of innocence. [If it means anything, sometimes I wish you could, too.] (40:05)

19. PROVENANCE

Dean— 

I’m sure that this is about Jessica, right? Now, I don’t know what it’s like to lose somebody like that, but... I would think that she would want you to be happy. God forbid have fun once in a while. (20:47)

Sam—

I had a girlfriend. And she died. And my mom died, too. I don’t know, it’s like... it’s like I’m cursed or something. Like death just follows me around. Look, I’m not scared of much, but if I let myself have feelings for anybody— [Sarah: You’re scared they get hurt, too.] (30:39)

Misc—

Sarah: I know, losing somebody you love—it’s terrible. You shut yourself off. Believe me, I know. But when you shut out pain, you shut out everything else, too. (31:27)

20. DEAD MAN’S BLOOD

Dean—

He does what he does for a reason. [Sam: What reason?] Our job. There’s no time to argue. There’s no margin for error, alright? It’s just the way the old man runs things. [Yeah, well, maybe that worked when we were kids, but not anymore, alright? Not after everything you and I have been through, Dean. I mean, are you telling me you’re cool with just falling into line and letting him run the whole show?] If that’s what it takes. (14:51)

Sam—

I’m happy he’s okay, alright? I’m happy that we’re all working together. [Dean: Good.] It’s just the way he treats us like children. [Oh, God.] He barks orders at us, Dean. He expects us to follow him without question. He keeps us on some crap need-to-know deal. [He does what he does for a reason.] What reason? [Our job. There’s no time to argue. There’s no margin for error, alright? It’s just the way the old man runs things.] Yeah, well, maybe that worked when we were kids, but not anymore, alright? Not after everything you and I have been through, Dean. I mean, are you telling me you’re cool with just falling into line and letting him run the whole show? (14:51)

[John: You left. Your brother and me, we needed you. You walked away, Sam. You walked away!] You’re the one who said “Don’t come back,” Dad. You’re the one who closed that door, not me! You were just pissed off that you couldn’t control me anymore! (19:27)

[John: Sammy, it never occurred to me what you wanted. I just couldn’t accept the fact that you and me, we’re just different.] We’re not different. Not anymore. With what happened to Mom and Jess, we probably have a lot more in common than just about anyone. (29:20)

Misc—

John: This is never the life that I wanted for you. [Sam: Then why’d you get so mad when I left?] You got to understand something. After your mother passed, all I saw was evil, everywhere. And all I cared about was keeping you boys alive. I wanted you prepared, ready. So somewhere along the line, I stopped being your father. I became your drill sergeant. So when you said that you wanted to go away to school, all I could think about, my only thought was that you were gonna be alone, vulnerable. (28:21)

21. SALVATION

Dean—

For the last time, what happened to them is not your fault. [Sam: Yeah, you’re right, it’s not my fault, but it’s my problem!] No, it’s not your problem, it’s our problem! (05:42)

You’re just willing to sacrifice yourself, is that it? [Sam: Yeah. Yeah, you’re damn right I am.] Yeah, well, that’s not gonna happen—not as long as I’m around. [What the hell are you talking about, Dean? We’ve been searching for this demon our whole lives. It’s the only thing we’ve ever cared abut.] Sam, I want to waste it, I do, okay? But it’s not worth dying over. [What?] I mean it. If hunting this demon means you getting yourself killed, then I hope we never find the damn thing. [That thing killed Jess. That thing killed Mom,] You said yourself once that no matter what we do, they’re gone. And they’re never coming back. [Don’t you say that! Don’t you—not after all this, don’t you say that.] Sam, look. The three of us, that’s all we have. And it’s all I have. Sometimes I feel like I’m barely holding it together, man. Without you or Dad.... (37:51)

Sam—

So Mom’s death, Jessica—it’s all because of me? [Dean: We don’t know that, Sam.] Oh really? ‘Cause I’d say we’re pretty damn sure, Dean! [For the last time, what happened to them is not your fault.] Yeah, you’re right, it’s not my fault, but it’s my problem! (05:34)

Misc—

John: I want to stop losing people we love. I want you to go to school. I want Dean to have a home. I want Mary alive. I just want this to be over. (21:10)

22. DEVIL’S TRAP

Dean—

You know that guy I shot? There was a person in there. [Sam: You didn’t have a choice, Dean.] I know. That’s not what bothers me. [Then what does?] Killing that guy, killing Meg... I didn’t hesitate. I didn’t even flinch. For you or Dad, the things I’m willing to do or kill, it’s just... it scares me sometimes. [Azazel!John: It shouldn’t. You did good.] You’re not mad? [For what?] Using a bullet. [Mad? I’m proud of you. You know, Sam and I, we can get pretty obsessed. But you, you watch out for this family. You always have.] (29:41)

Listen, you mind just getting this over with, huh? ‘Cause I really can’t stand the monologuing. [Azazel: Funny, but that’s all part of your M.O., isn’t it? Mask all that nasty pain, mask the truth.] Oh yeah? What’s that? [You know, you fight and you fight for this family, but the truth is, they don’t need you. Not like you need them. Sam—he’s clearly John’s favorite. Even when they fight, it’s more concern than he’s ever shown you.] (36:52)

Sam—

[Dean: Well, you and Dad are a lot more alike than I thought, you know that? You both can’t wait to sacrifice yourself for this thing. But you know what? I’m gonna be the one to bury you. You’re selfish, you know that? You don’t care about anything but revenge.] (19:24)

Misc—

Azazel: He’s gonna tear you apart. He’s gonna taste the iron in your blood. [Dean: Let him go, or I swear to God—] What? What are you and God gonna do? (35:09)

[hatterstan-shameblog]

Everybody Else Is Getting A SFW* Alphabet Except My Boy Hatter So I’m Rolling Up My Sleeves And Making One Myself

*SFW except I’m probably gonna be swearing a bit sooooo keep that in mind (and also there’s like one or two drug references but not in detail)

Btw this doesn’t follow the usual format of topics or whatever, I decided to just do some fun word association myself

A: ADHD. As hell.

B: Bisexual. Because it’s true.

C: Cards. BUT NOW HOW YOU’D THINK! Lost $700 (whatever that is in yen because I’m bad at math) playing one hand of blackjack and said ‘well I guess that’s not for me’ and never did it again. But he IS really good at making playing cars houses, so that’s nice.

D: Dentist. Terrified of the dentist. Brushes his teeth RELIGIOUSLY because he wants to avoid going to the dentist as much as possible.

E: Eyeliner. This is kinda confirmed in the show (I think) but you better believe the guy slaps on some eyeliner every once in a while

F: Fickle. When it comes to the big, core values, he’s solid and consistent. But little stuff, like his favorite color? Changes constantly.

G: Glasses. Those sunglasses are PRESCRIPTION because he usually wears contacts because the mans got some ASTIGMATISM but he wants everyone to just think he’s blocking out the haters or whatever

H: Hearts. I know the source material is all “he’s good at spades games” BUT COME TF ON everything about him SCREAMS “heart games master.” I mean, he seems like a great manipulator and I think he really loves having power over other people—not in a ‘I want to control them’ kinda way but a ‘I want them to love me so much they’ll do anything I say’ kinda way

I: Intelligent. Here’s the thing: under that aloof exterior is a guy who actually knows his stuff. Just because he needs the boss ring to help him remember the code for the safe doesn’t mean he isn’t a really good problem solver. I also think he’s a reader, probably has a library card, too.

J: Jokes. He laughs at his own jokes, but also, he’s kinda funny in a bizzare way.

K: Kids. He’s actually really good with kids? You know how babies just kinda stare at people sometimes? That happens to him a lot. But he’s also just kinda casual when there’s kids, like a 5-year-old walks into the hat shop and he’s all “hey man how’s it goin? How’s the job? How’s the wife?” and it’s very charming actually. But also he’s not allowed to babysit because. I mean. You know how he is.

L: Lover (not a fighter). Big into hugs and everybody getting along. But like. Also kinda “fuck around and find out” because yknow he killed all those people for hiding cards (not your best look sweetie)

M: Movies. Total movie buff. Digs the escapism they provide.

N: Nepotism. Literally just hires his friends so meetings or work or whatever sucks less because he’s surrounded by his buddies.

O: Odd One Out. Has a history of just not fitting in places (bullied in school, you know how it is), so that’s why he crafted a kinda cool-guy, devil-may-care personality

P: Perfume. I’ve outlined this before, but he cuts Chanel No.5 (stolen from Ann) with that Sauvage cologne Johnny Depp models for and puts a lil whiskey in there to give it a kick. That’s it, that’s his signature scent. And you know what? It works.

Q: Quixotic. This is pretty well-defined in the show, dude wanted to create a straight-up utopia out of the Beach, which was...........not gonna work obvi. And I think he knows it’s not possible to create a perfect place, but that’s not gonna stop him from trying.

R: Restless. Doesn’t sleep much, whether it’s a ‘took drugs’ reason or not. Has trouble sitting still. Needs to pace around the room when he’s thinking. He’s the guy who keeps clicking the pen.

S: Sensory. Take him shopping and he’s gonna touch everything. Why do you think he dressed the way he does? Soft fabrics at the hat shop (in the flashbacks) and the silky kimono thing? *pounds fist on the table* WE GOT HIM BOYS

T: Tidy (surprisingly). I think the guy actually cleans. Maybe not full-on scrub-down of the whole house every weekend, but I think stuff being gross would bother him. Clutter in moderation because if there’s too much he gets stressed out.

U: Unpredictable (but predictably so). There’s a pattern to his inconsisties, so much so that anyone who knows him knows when he’s going to change his mind and what he’s going to change it about.

V: Vinyl. As in the records. He’s a guy over 30 with long hair, it’s a requirement for him to be into collecting records.

W: Whiskey. He’s one of those whiskey guys who knows what terms like ‘single malt’ mean and he does the thing where you put in like a drop of water to ‘activate the flavor’ or whatever.

X: Xerox. That’s the funniest X word I can think of right now. Maybe he just really cares about scanning documents??? I don’t know, let’s move tf on

Y: Youngest (sibling). I was trying to think of “y” words but wasn’t coming up with much, until I thought “could.......could it be......that he is radiating SEVERE youngest child vibes???” And I realized, YES, it’s true! It all fits! Thanks, Letter Y, for being such an inspiration.

Z: Zzz (he sleepin). I know I said he doesn’t sleep much, but consider: when he does, he’s out COLD. Cannot be woken. Flops in the middle of the bed and BAM he’s out.

[novelconcepts]

HELLO HELLO HELLO. first all of all, just saw your post about recharging - i hope you are doing well. i know there’s very little an internet stranger can say to drastically change things aha but know how hard it is to be human so i wish you the best.

second - and slightly/much less monumental - have you read or heard of A Memory Called Empire?? i just finished it last night and it was lovely and i thought you might appreciate (getting a library card is the best thing i’ve done in years). it deals with space colonialism from an outside parties perspective; and ah it captures the POV of someone who at once resents the “larger” culture and is enthralled by it - it’s such an intriguing, nuanced read. it’s also GAY. WOO. and won a Hugo. thus, i thought you might like (if you had not already read)

once again, i hope you are well. yeehaw and goodnight

Hey! I appreciate the kind words—and all the folks who have left messages over my absence, though I don’t want to inundate anybody’s dash, so just. A big thank you to everybody who was kind. But also, I just picked up this book today on your recommendation. It’s been on my list a while, and this message finally convinced me to grab it. I hope to read it before the summer’s out.