#home for the bitchless

[hannie-dul-set]

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS [1].

SYNOPSIS. wherein your friend offers a room for you to crash in while your dorm is being renovated, but fails to mention that your new housemates don’t know how to talk to women (oh, and they also have an ongoing bet about you, too).

PAIRINGS. choi soobin, choi beomgyu, lee heeseung, park jongseong, sim jaeyun, park sunghoon x female! reader. GENRE. housemates! au, rom-com, sitcom, reverse harem time baby. WARNINGS. swearing, a house fire, mentions of sex, like the chapter title says there is too much underwear in this, an awful amount of embarrassing men WORD COUNT. 2.2k.

TAGLIST. @cerealdreamwriter @tyongff-ff @dinonuguaegi

NOTE. i have nothing to say except i hope you enjoy this shitshow as much as i enjoyed writing it. please check the link in the masterlist if you're curious about the layout of the house. feedback much appreciated i love u.

MASTERLIST | NEXT >

CHAPTER 1 — this is too much underwear for a first meeting.

YOU WISH YOU CAN TAKE BACK ALL YOUR COMPLAINTS ABOUT DORM LIFE. Sure, the disgusting, communal bathrooms scrape a year off of your lifespan every time you have to take a piss, and the abhorrently thin walls make you want to rip your ears out every time your neighbors have mind blowing sex, but hey— all of that is better than not having a roof above your head. Even if that roof is two years behind maintenance. 

But it’s all too late. You should’ve appreciated having a bed to sleep in before life pried it out from you in the form of a swirling inferno.

When the semester came to a close, your dormmates thought it would be a fantastic idea to throw an end-of-year party. The problem is, that party ended up in flames. Literally. The last person you saw entering the kitchen was Choi Yeonjun until something exploded and before you know it, there’s a stampede, and you’re choking on black fumes, and there’s suddenly a lightshow happening right before your very eyes with the dorm building you’ve been living in for the past year serving as the sparkler.

Holy shit, your dorm is burning down.

It’s a good thing that the fire was stopped before it could reach your room. You don’t know what you’d do if all your notes and textbooks burnt down along with half of the building into debris. Even prior to the fire, a lot of the facilities were janky and needed to be renovated, so you had to pack your bags and find somewhere else to stay for the next two months while the place went through repairs.

“Great,” you huff, filling your two carriers with the bare minimum you have collected in your unit. “This is just fucking great.” 

However, just when you’re falling into the brink of homelessness, a friend from your book club graciously offers you a room in his house as a saving grace from your misfortune.

“It’s a small bedroom compared to the rest, but you only have to share a bathroom with one other person! There’s also a laundry room and a living area on the same floor. It’s a big place, so it doesn’t feel stuffy at all even with six, seven people.”

You have no reason to decline Jake’s offer, especially when it’ll be just a temporary arrangement anyway. “Are you sure? You said you have housemates, right? Are they fine with living with another person on such short notice?”

“Yeah, they said it’s cool,” he assures, helping you load your luggage into the taxi. “I’ve been wanting to fill up the last bedroom anyway. The house is just too big even with our current living setup. The more the merrier.”

You’ve always known that Jake Shim was fucking rich. Not because he bragged or flaunted his wealth or anything— but because he’d drop the most privileged, tone-deaf shit at the most inappropriate times and no one can get pissed because he looks oh so innocent while saying them. You had once complained about stuffing yourself with too much meat during a club dinner and that one more bite will have you nauseous. He replied with, “oh yeah, I once ate wagyu steak for a good week in Japan and I got sick of it, too!” and you physically felt your economic status erode at that very moment.

He and you will never be the same. And that fact is made suffocatingly evident right now, as the vehicle slowly pulls into a fancy neighborhood and stops right before the fence of an unreasonably gigantic yard with an unreasonably gigantic house. You do feel a little poor when he shows off the pool and the two garages, but at the same time, beggars can’t be choosers.

Also, it’s a really nice fucking house.

It’s three stories tall, with a covered deck and a substantial amount of outdoor lounging areas. Floor to ceiling windows give you a glimpse of the modern interior of the foyer and spacious living room. You’re a little afraid of getting used to such luxury that you might never want to come back to your old, dingy dorm room— but with every blessing comes a curse.

Jake did mention that you will be living with six other people including him. What he did not mention is that those ‘other people’ would all be men.

Imagine your shock when you’re greeted by a whole ass man in nothing but neon green boxers and shades the moment you slip through the sliding doors of testosterone hell.

Very. You’re very shocked. 

“Hey, man,” Jake greets the almost naked individual who is also holding a bowl of cereal in the middle of the afternoon, presumably having just walked out of the kitchen. “What’s with the glasses?” That’s not the biggest issue here. You can see the outline of his fucking penis.

“Oh,” he reacts. “It was just so bright when I got out of the room.”

Jake nods. “That makes sense.” No it does not.

“I think it just got even brighter.”

You can’t tell, but you assume he’s squinting at you underneath his shades. You believe you might also need a pair because there’s definitely a contender in being the brightest thing in the room, so you try your best to not be distracted by the neon of his undies as Jake introduces you to him. “And this is Park Jongseong— or Jay, as he prefers to be called.”

“Call me whatever you like,” Jay smiles at you and reaches out his non-cereal hand for a handshake. He seems chill enough. Maybe he’s just a very laid back person who doesn’t care about general appearances. You can work with that.

“Nice to meet you.” You shake on it. “Aren’t you cold, by the way?”

When he retrieves his hand, he combs his fingers through his hair, ruffling the strands. “My friends often say that I am pretty cool.”

“No, I mean cold,” you clarify. “That does look like a statement, but I’m worried you might get sick.”

You’re starting to get an inkling that you have misjudged Jay. It takes him a few seconds to understand what you were referring to, until a breeze passes by from the open entrance and suddenly, he looks down. “Oh,” he flatly says. “Of fuck.” And the innocent bowls cereal crashes and spills into the ground as Jay disappears into the hallway to your right.

You and Jake stare at the milk minutely seeping into the wooden floor. “I was gonna ask him to help you with your luggage but—” Where Jay disappears, a new person emerges (fully clothed this time, thankfully). “Oh! Hyung, come help.”

He has his neck turned back as he walks up to the both of you. You can hear the sound of footsteps scrambling from where the newcomer is looking at. “What happened to Jay?”

“I don’t know, but let me introduce you to our new housemate!”

“Hi there.” You give him a smile.

Jake tells you his name is Choi Beomgyu, and Choi Beomgyu doesn’t exactly look like he’s keen on accepting your handshake. Instead, all he does is stare you down with his arms crossed, eyes scaling your entire height like he’s doing a motherfucking evaluation. You’re trying your damn best to maintain a pleasant expression. You almost break when he quits his rude staring and turns over to Jake. “So, you need me to help carry her things?” The bastard isn’t even talking directly to you. Your pride can’t take this hit.

“No, it’s alright. I can take care of these myself. Thanks!” Jake flinches when you snatch your second carrier from his hands. “Third floor, right?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“Got it.” 

Yes, you might have shoved past Beomgyu on purpose, but that’s not the point. You leave the two behind to take care of Jay’s fallen cereal as you struggle to lug your luggage up the staircase. You manage to bring them all the way to the second floor landing before your arms give in and you let the two cases settle on the floor with a huff. When you pause to take a breather, you catch a familiar face walking down the stairs from above. You recognize him from Jake’s instagram stories. You’re sure his name is Lee Heeseung. “Oh! Let me help!” he quickly exclaims after noticing the situation, hurrying down the steps. “You’re the new addition to our residence, right?”

“Yes, I am, and it’s totally fine! You don’t have to—”

Big mistake. You should’ve just let him help, but you’re a little prideful so you reach out for the carrier he took, and when your fingers brush against the back of his hand, the man suddenly drops the fucking case and retracts his entire arm. You stare, wide-eyed, as Heeseung stumbles back to the ground next to your carrier that happened to crack open in the fray and is now spilling out all your clothes like guts and blood. Behind Heeseung, the door creaks open. “Is everything oka— oh my god, is that a b-bra—”

Well. It is, in fact, a bra, and its color seems to match the flushed face of the poor, unsuspecting individual that just opened the door out of concern for his friend. You make eye contact with him once before he retreats into his room with a loud slam! Heeseung is still on the floor and he’s now profusely apologetic.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, this is all my fault, please let me help—” The issue dawns on him belatedly, right when it’s already too late and he has your undergarment in his hands in the midst of trying to undo his mistake. “I don’t think I should help.”

“Good call.” You kneel down, politely prying your blood red bra from Heeseung as you proceed to gather the rest of your clothes back into the carrier.

“I should cut my hands off.”

Oh no. “Hey, it was an accident. It’s fine—” When you try to reach a hand out to give him a completely innocent, completely harmless pat on the shoulder for assurance, he flinches back again. Now your arm is awkwardly hanging mid-air and you’re both looking at each other with shared looks of alarm. The exchange (or lack thereof) reminds you of a forgotten memory— a memory from your childhood. Snacktime all throughout elementary school, to be specific, when all the boys would fucking run away from you and your girl friends for having cooties.

This moment is oddly reminiscent of that and you don’t want to acknowledge it.

“What happened? I heard a crash, is everything alright?”

By the time Jake arrives, you have already managed to clear up the crime scene. With a grunt, you get back up and prepare yourself for another round of heavy lugging. “Can you tell me where my room is? I think you should stay here and make sure your friend is okay.”

“It’s...the first door through the hallway, next to Sunghoon’s. Hyung, are you good?”

You have no idea who the fuck Sunghoon is, but you nod in acknowledgement anyway. “Who’s the person living in that room?” 

“Soobin hyung,” Jake answers, helping a dazed Heeseung back to his feet. “Why?”

“You should go check on him, too.”

With that, you leave another mess in your wake as you climb up the flight of stairs to the third floor. You can’t wait to rest. You really want to lie down. But when you walk past the hallway, entering into the floor’s unreasonably cozy living area, you’re met with a fucking fork in the road.

There’s one door right across the hallway, but when you open it, it’s not a bedroom, but a laundry room. So you make a sharp right to the archway opening up to three doors on each of the walls. Jake should have been more specific with what he meant by the first door. You don’t want to take a risk and walk into something you’d fucking regret.

Fortunately, someone emerges from the door on your right and reveals what looks to be a bathroom. You assume he’s Sunghoon, and Sunghoon nearly doubles over when he turns around and meets eyes with you. His expression stiffens, and you’re both just standing there for a good moment and looking at each other without saying anything.

You press your lips into a smile. Holy shit, he’s intimidating. Why the fuck isn’t he saying anyting?

“Hi. I’m—”

“S—shit—”

Suddenly, he’s gone. He’s disappeared into the room in the center after struggling to open the door for a bit. You’re left dumbfounded, but at least now you know where your room is.

You slot the key Jake gave you and twist open the doorknob. The empty room greets you with a body slam of fatigue, and before you know it, you’re sinking face down into the bed and you have no energy left in your fingertips. Admittedly, you have questioned yourself multiple times upon first entering the house whether you made the right decision, whether it’d be better to find an apartment, or maybe you should just crash at your parent’s place for the time being.

But this bed is more comfy than any hotel suite you’ve ever been to, and your bank account isn’t suffering from an enormous dent. Six disastrous men is nothing when you’re able to call a place your home. You can already envision where you’ll be placing your new bookshelf. They’d have to pry your new house key from your cold, dead hands if they want you out of here.

HOME FOR THE BITCHLESS. © hannie-dul-set, 2023.

[technicallyaminecraftsimp]

GOD I love starkid so much they saw that idea of ‘hey musicals are kind of a strange scenario if you think about it. If people just broke out in song I’d be pretty weirder out’ and they fucking ran with that and now it’s evolved into an entire universe where the whole point is that the characters are fucked up and their world is fucked up and they all need to be traumatized in a different way every time we see them. and that’s exactly why I love starkid and their hatchetfield stories

[squuoosh]

was never a fan of the loser lesbian trope until I realized it fits me perfectly. tall, awkward, introverted, and too gay to have game with women

[impishsensei-a]

❝ from now on, anyone that wants to court my precious son megumi has to run it by me first. there will be a trial by combat to test if you're worthy, and your opponent is me. good luck to all of megumi-chan's future suitors! ❞

[fics-lovebot]

enhypen fic recs pt.2

main masterlist - pt. 1 - pt. 3 - pt. 4 - pt. 5

· · ♡ · · tysm to the amazing creative minds of the writers for giving me sevaral moments of joy reading your creations

these are my personal favs, so pls reblog if you like any of my recs❤️

home for the bitchless - ( @hannie-dul-set ) on going au. crack, rom-com, rev harem. hee + 02z + txt soobin and beomgyu. housemates! au. LMAOOOO this has to be one of the funniest things i´ve read on here fr

When you catch the bouquet at a wedding - ( @scented-morker ) ot7. FLUFF. PLEASEEE I LOVE THISS, i´ve never seen any writing with this concept!

sassy - ( @jaysng ) fluff, slice of life. husband!jay, wife!reader. AAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS SO CUTE JAY IS SUCH A GIRL DAD!! :((

dni (do not ignore) - (@boyfhee ) ot7 smau. crack, fluff, vvv lowk angst. lmaoooo you know i love me some dramatic bf!jake

noona - ( @hoonvrs ) smau, fluff, a lottt of crack, noona!reader, jungwons older sister!reader, younger!sunghoon, SDKJAJHAS THIS HAD ME UGLy CACKLING AT WORKKKK, im livinf for the banter, they´re all sO MEAN TO HIM LMAOO

crash and burn - ( @hannie-dul-set ) fluff, two-part rom-com, skater!au. loser!enha ft. loser!sunghoon, THIS IS SDSJFKSJ LMAOO, i love it :3

safe and sound - ( @thatfeelinwhenyou ) jungwon au, dystopian, post-apocalyptic survival, horror/thriller, slow burn, ANGST. you cannot even begin to UNDERSTANF THE CALIBRE OF THIS ART PIECE RIGHT HERE, THERE´S JUST NO WWWAAAYYYYYYY I´M READING THIS FOR FREEE!, MISS GIRL THIS NEEDS TO BE ON GOODREADS OR SUMM OH MY GAAAAWWDDDD

sent, delivered, loved - ( @woniedarlin ) angst, fluff. idol!jungwon, hybe-staff!reader. the way i ate this whole thing UPPPPPPPPPPPPP UGHHHHHH, plssilovedit

the weave to my love - ( @mygnolia ) fluff, classmates to lovers, idiots to lovers, spiderman!riki, class pres!reader. yes yes yes yes yes, this is what i´m talking about, I LOVE ITTTTT. the banter is deff my favorite thing, love the concept as well

pics i posted on my ig story for my crush to see - ( @lattegyu ) ig stories, fluff, crack, smau, non idol!jake

brought the heat back - ( @jayniks ) smut, idol!jake, giving him a bj while he´s on weverse live sdlkjlsd WHEWW

hello kitty meets batman - ( @star-sim ) fluff, angst, lowkey smut, dark horror creator youtuber!jake, downbad!jake, beauty vlogger youtuber!reader. fans had no idea their fav youtubers were in a long-term secret relationship. THIS IS SO GOOOOOODDDDDDDD plsss, i wish i could read it again for the first time

things we never said - ( @hoonigiris ) very angsty, jake au. it’s heeseung’s wedding, jake’s had too much to drink, and really, he just misses you. perhaps what happens after are the things he should never say. This is realllyy well written, i loved it

taste of heaven - ( @moonstruck-muses ) vamp au, smut, fluff, angst, vamp!jake, human!reader. he´s keeping his true nature a secret. THIS HAS IT ALLLLL and the smut is so gewd too, pls i would love the see another part of this

waiting on calls - ( @miumura ) fluff, angst, exes to lovers, second chance romance, ex bf!jake, non idol au, I LOVE THISSSSSSS, its so different and well written

ouch my head - ( @jakesangel ) loser desperate jake, smau, crack, fluff, "when y/n almost gets hit by a random hot basketball player who happens to have a huge crush on her" this is an on going series, so so so entertaining and fun to read lmao

everything but nothing - ( @cherryrikis ) ANGST (i love that shii), non-idol!au, break up talk, football cap!jake, fluffy happy ending, comfort, i rrrreally wished i could read what the rest of enha did to make yn go back to her and jake´s house omg

sidewalk theory - ( @mlyscha ) FLUff, bf!sunghoon,, wowww ahaha so WHAT IF KMS RN AND CHANGED THE TRAJECTORY OF EVERYONES LIFE?????? THIS IS SO LDKFJHSKDFHLKSJHDLKGSHJGHL :((( miss girl this made me want to ugly cry and scream bc why is it so fucking cute :(((((((((((

fixed comfort - ( @paarksunghoon ) fluff, non-idol!sunghoon, "the one where sunghoon’s drunk at a bar and misses his girlfriend a little too much",,, SSSSSSO WHAT IF I TELL YALL THiS IS THE MOST SLICE OF LIFE-ISH AU I´VE EVER READ?????? it´s so domestic and cute and fluffy and perfect :((

random ass texts - ( ( @saursoob ) fluff, crack, downbad!dunghoon

freaky bf!hoon texts - ( @enha-stars ) fluff, crack, very suggestive, downbad!sunghoon, mentions of pee kink,,,IKYFL

pictures of bf!sunghoon enha sends you - ( @enha-stars ) text, fluff

emergency contact - ( @hoonatic ) ANGSTYYYYYYYYY, fluff, exes to lovers. weeks after your breakup, sunghoon finds out that he’s still your emergency contact. i love it SO fucking MUCH plssss

the pussy eating competition - ( @karinasbaby ) sunghoon au, smut, HELLO???? THIS WHOLE CONCEPT IS CRAAZZZYYYYYYYYY, bc WDYM there´s a competition of how many times a guy can make a girl squirt under 5 minutes??????? IM- it´s good yall

crush - ( @star-sim ) fluff, crack, non-idol! bf! sunghoon, sleepy!hoon, dumb!hoon. AAAAAAAAA i love it :( so domestic and fun and cute and :((((((

[merlucide]

SPOTTING YOU IN THE CROWD! hcs

notes: first post of the new year!! Happy new years!! <33 [Requested]

characters: Aiku, Sae, Sendou, Kaiser, Ness, Lorenzo, Snuffy, Loki, Noa, Chris Prince, Lavinho, Leonardo Luna

warnings: cursing probs, not proofread (again, idgaf) fem!reader in Lavinho’s

pt1 pt2

You bundled deeper into your sweater hoping to savor some warmth, it might as well be snowing right now. As much as you wished you were at home, curled up under a blanket, you were happy to be here, watching your boyfriend’s game. Normally, you only went to home games, but this time you thought, ’why not?’. So, after a 4 in a half hour flight, a 30 minute taxi ride, you finally made it to the stadium. You’d go to his games pretty often, sitting in the VIP section. This go around, you wanted to sit closer, to get a better view of your lover of course. The whistle blows for halftime and you excitedly signal to him.

OLIVER AIKU

Smirks and shakes his head hehe

Means tons you came!! :)

He rlly can’t believe you came lmao

Doesn’t yell back but makes hand signs to ya

You can just tell what he’s trying to say, benefit of The Charm™ (*AHEM..*👀)

Might blow you a kiss, might not, depends on which Aiku you get😙

If he does you ofc accept it and return it, which he cradles it to his heart hehe

*cue jelly and disgusted sendou*

-

🦢: ‘cringe tbh’

🐍: ‘Say, I don’t see your S/O in the stands’

🦢: ‘Low blow.’ bitchless HA

ITOSHI SAE

Surprised

-

That’s it, thanks for reading.

-

….no like he’s so boring, no expression, no fun, no personality

Why are you with him bro

-

Sorry the Sae hater in me took over, let’s continue.

-

Happy? You came? Like

Hes indifferent to it 😭

I mean he recognizes the effort made to see him and appreciates that, YES!

Gives you a little wave :3 (if you’re lucky he’ll give ya a small smile)

He def scores a goal for you and kisses his promise ring looking in your area

After the game he Venmo’s you what you payed for the tickets— despite your retaliation lmao

I hate this hoe

SENDOU SHUTO

Aiku thumbs to you in the stands and bbg lets out the BIGGEST OVERDRAMATIC gasp when seeing you

he could squeal

— Quickly goes back to ‘cool mode’, which lasts for two seconds before yelling back at you

🦢:’BABYYYYYYYY!!’

⚓️: ‘BABEEEEEEEESSSS!!

The team give him the look saying ‘simp’ LMAO

Gets all blushy n embarrassed lol

Yells at you to watch him and tell you he’s gonna score for ya (he totally missed the net)

MICHEAL KAISER

his face when he notices you: 😏

Fuels his ego by like, a gajillion times

—though he is conflicted between making it known to his teammates/fans that you’re here or not letting a single soul know of your existence lmao

Doesn’t wanna hurt your feelings by ignoring you tho 💀 especially since you came ALL the way to see HIM

(Rlly appreciates it)

Just rolls his eyes at you and grins

You kinda have a conversation with your faces LMAO

Bc again he’s trying not to attract to much attention to you!! (cus media, etc)

Ness sees you and waves ! :)

-

🪄: ‘I didn’t know y/n was coming! Hi y/n!!’

🥀: ‘Shut up you squealing maggot.”

🪄: ‘Oh okay’

ALEXIS NESS

turns exactly into “🥹+🤩” combined

So happy you came!!!!

Means so much to him that you’d take your time and money to see him play!

Gives you that big fat wobbly smile of his and yells ‘Hi!!’

Points you out to Kaiser ‘Look! Kaiser, y/n came!’

he doesn’t gaf LMAO

He gives you a nod tho!

-

Blows you many kisses 😌

BM is all giving him the biggest side eye LMAO His love for you makes everyone within a 20 mile radius uncomfortable

-

def gives you the biggest cheek kiss ever and hugs you HEHHEEEHHEHEHEHE

DON LORENZO

Ugly smiles hehehehheh

Two-finger point at cha’ yelling ‘HEYYYYYYY!!!!’

Laughing and smiling soo much

He’s literally BEAMING

He always wants you to come to his games, but understands you have a life of your own and can’t make it to them all

BUT YOU CAME THIS TIME!!

‘MIO AMOUR DIDJA SEE MY MOVES EH? PRETTY SWEET YA?’

afterwards totally tries doing more showy tricks and plays for ya hehe

He’s just pumped af you’re here!!

MARC SNUFFY

Touched 🥹 

Fr tho, he’s touched af

Happy big smile!!

Waves back at cha :3

-

He called you earlier before the game and had no clue!! I mean he heard crowd at the airport but you just brushed it off as ‘oh I’m just at the mall’

Really appreciates it! :)

JULIANN LOKI

he’s like ‘😮!!’

Didn’t expect that!!!

Means so much to him!!

Gets all blushy hehe…,.

Doesn’t want to make a scene so he opts out for a small slightly hidden wave (not to draw attention to you)

rlly appreciates you supporting his career !! Esp since he’s so young starting off so strong

-

After game he goes to you and shakes his head and hugs ya hehe

Can’t believe you lmao

NOEL NOA

Surprised af

Like the thought of you doing this never crossed his mind literally once, E V E R

He knows you watch his games on TV when you don’t go (most of the time)

Soft grinning from him heh

Doesn’t do much bc he doesn’t want the media all over you

-

After the game he brings you closer (not touching bc he’s sweaty af) and kisses your forehead

——Whiiiich the paparazzi saw and it was over the internet for the next few days

So mission failed for Noa lmao

LAVINHO 

okay think Bokuto’s ‘HEY HEY HEY!!’ That’s him rn

Manically laughing LMAO

Starts F L I R T I N G  with you from the field

He’s just like yelling ‘HEEEEY MAMAS, YA FREE AFTER THISSSS?’

Def brags to any single teammates of his LMAO

CHRIS PRINCE

Signature Chris Prince smile!!

Belly laughs too lmao— can’t believe you’re here! And that you didnt tell him

He would’ve easily arranged something easier for you to come, probs traveling with the team or smth

energized as crap and now will do everything at the tippity top of his game to impress you (he does this every time you go to his games, but like it’s 10x bc he’s so pumped)

LEONARDO LUNA

Making ‘:o’ face lmao

So surprised !! But SO happy!!

Like wym his darling came to his away game?? Wym they took a 4 hour flight to see him play

Feels so special hehe

Blows you kisses with both hands and waves with both as well

Makes it known you’re here (if you’re comfortable with being public, but in this scenario I’d assume so)

Gives you a big hug afterwards

help sorry for any ooc-ness for some I had a hard time getting creative juice

Made January 1st 2025

[sharkylass]

So- Fnf fans how we feeling about the weekend update- (this is not even remotely related but it triggered the fixation-)

Just thinking about how Pico was fully planning to commit to the assassination bit, but just saw BF and he realized he couldn't do it. Lord forbid he admits it to himself that he's fond of that damn idiot tho- (Idiot who was shot at and promptly proceeded to invite the shooter to a friendly rap battle CAUSE YO, WE HAVEN'T SEEN EACHOTHER IN AGES!!!) So instead he is "playing with his food" so to speak, only to end up going home hungry, broke and bitchless.

I have some ideas as to how the actual songs go along but for now this is all you're getting.

But yeah no the weekend was really cool- [Commissions]

Also putting an alt here for my sanity, don't pay attention to it

[toxycodone]

mouthwashing characters and their icks

ship. tulpar crew x reader

content. sfwish, just annoying things about our faves, some are romantic and some are general.

Captain Curly

Wildly empathetic. Like to a point where it’s annoying. Like yes, you get it. It’s sad to see an animal on the side of the road. But this is the second dog this week and it’s bit him twice. (He also falls for like. Fake homeless scams. Omg.)

I think he had an era where he had a cat that fucking hated him and never ever left under the guest room bed and terrorized his guests but he didn’t have the heart to get rid of it. 💀

He always ends up playing devil’s advocate without trying. Like when you’re complaining about someone at work or some bitch who cut you off in traffic, Curly’s like “maybe they had a bad day!” or something.

He just…never lets you just wallow in your misery when you need to. When he starts with his “look on the bright side!” stuff it makes your eyes roll back into your skull.

Is soooooo fucking conflict avoidant he’d rather just take shit on the chin then ever speak his mind about things with you. It gets so bad bc he’s bottling all this crap up and getting kinda catty. Because he won’t just grow up and tell you what his problem is.

Comes home in his dirty ass shoes and tracks mud all over the house. I mean he’ll swiffer it up like the housewife he is but it’s annoying.

Doesn’t clean his hands before touching your phone (or his own) before eating,. U get a greasy screen.

Jimmy is an asshole to you and Curly just goes “now now, Jim…” It won’t be until Jimmy does something like. Really bad. That Curly decides to put his foot down and enforce boundaries with that man. You witness this dude literally use your man as a doormat way too often.

If you make him choose. He would probably choose Jim unless push really came to shove…..

GIRLS FLIRT WITH HIM IN PUBLIC AND HES TOO ‘AWKWARD’ TO SAY “I’m taken…” so he just flaunts in the attention. In reality he just…likes the attention but doesn’t want to admit it to himself. (He’s loyal don’t get me wrong but this is annoying)

Thinks big romantic public gestures are cute. Whether that is an ick or not is up to you.

Jimmy

GOES THROUGH YOUR PHONE WHEN YOU’RE ASLEEP OR IN THE BATHROOM. And when you catch him he’s doesn’t even bother to make a good excuses “just wanted to check something.” Okay??? What?? If you go through his phone he will legit tackle you for it back (he isn’t even cheating he’s just pathetically bitchless and friendless. His last text was to his dealer and bro didn’t even respond.)

Will leave your important messages on read. It’s like he has read receipts on just to spite you.

Aggressively questions you out of the blue on who you know and hang out with as if it isn’t the same fucking people each time.

Really horny when he’s drunk and tries to seduce you but has terrible whiskey dick.

Terrible morning breath. Rank. Disgusting. Also all his clothes have the faint scent of stale cigarette smoke. Along with his carpet. And furniture. His walls are probably off-white too.

World’s dirtiest bathroom it’s literally so gross. He leaves his stubble in/around the sink after shaving with an electric razor real fast before work.

Has probably kissed you and then asked you what you last ate with a grimace 💔

Your friends hate him. Your family hates him. Your landlord hates him. And he hates them back.

You’ve had to bail him out of jail before. The officer on duty just gives you a pitied look when he sees you walk in and say you’re bailing him of all people out.

Pretty sure he has threatened to kill himself if you leave him multiple times but lashes out at you when you’re sweet to him at the most random times.

Anya

Stealing this from @l1v1ngd3dgrrl but Anya has the DUMBEST. LAUGH. Like she has a cutesy laugh until she’s finally not thinking and she laugh so hard she snorts. So loud.

Refuses to file down her nails so she accidentally scratches you all the time.

Definitely has an ex she’s still friends with that makes you lowkey question what is going on between them bc they’re obviously still into her and she doesn’t see it.

She silently judges and you can see it on her face when she has something to say but then she goes “it’s nothing!!!” And refuses to say it. (However, this does make her the best gossiper and she can be a total mean girl and tear apart bitches you hate on secret.)

Lowkey tries to psychoanalyze you when you’re venting to her like girl. I am not your homework.

Thinks it’s her responsibility to “fix you” for some reason. Takes you being depressed, angry, etc a little too personally.

Never watches the movies or shows you recommend you have sit her down and watch it w her. And she will. Be distracted by stuff on her phone.

Avid Mitski fan. And Nora Jones. Just an air of sad girl and longing to her that goes soooo crazy.

Big fan of ugly sweaters and tacky matching outfits….but has the audacity to make comments on your style.

Daisuke

“This one’s for you!” *Misses*. In public. In front of your friends. Need I say more.

Uses your hair products in the shower and your soap and your nice shaving oil without asking. :/

This is moreso in the beginning of the relationship but. I see this persisting that he’s constantly looking to you for approval for things. Has a really difficult time making decisions on his own, too. He’s looking to you for guidance on stuff,

Unironically thinks Dutch ovening you is funny.

Your friends all think he’s mid and although he’s sweet. You’re way outta his league. You’re dating down.

Has more skin care products than he can ever use. He’s a total product junkie.

GACHA GAME WHALE. Has definitely borrowed money for a ten pull in genshin 💔

Has cried out of frustration over Fortnite before (he was in a bad place. Okay.)

Cannot keep a job for the life of him. The only solid career he lands is like. Bobarista. But goddamn he’s good at it.

Has. Forgotten your anniversary/birthday/etc. before. and probably almost threw up out of guilt.

Swansea

Does the dad cold start every morning. Hacking. Coughing. Spitting up in the sink. It’s gross.

When he takes a shit he’s stuck in the bathroom for like half an hour at least. It’s always oddly humid and gross if you go in after him.

Chews with his mouth open.

Walks around shirtless only in underwear and will proudly fart whenever he needs to and it’s loud as fuck.

His kids lowkey hate him tbh. 💀 they have a better relationship as adults but man. Rocky fucking childhood.

Nothing ever really makes him satisfied or truly happy so you’re stuck in this weird limbo on if he actually gives a shit about you or not.

Rolls his eyes at you. When you can plainly sees he has suuuuch an attitude problem it’s crazy.

Definitely has asked for a manager in your presence over something minuscule (you wanted to die)

[hannie-dul-set]

Hyperventilating what do you mean home for the bitchless is getting an update WE ARE SO BACK💜

Twerking so hard right now dont stop get it get it get it

unfortunately i did end up napping for 4 hours yesterday and my friend somehow convinced me to continue watching/rewatching blue lock after making me watch a season 2 episode with no context so no writing will be done in the next 3 days.

[chaconnewon]

nerd!won surprising u by actually being good in bed despite what the others say (him being bitchless i mean) *but still clumsy and cute 😩* PLEASE

a/n: TOOK ME A FUCKING WHILE TO WROTE THIS. I am so, so sorry. Is not even that good. I had to change it so many time that I dont really know if it's what you wanted or... anyways I hope you like it(if you see it ;_;) Thank you so much for the request. <3

surface ─── y.jw

contains: nerd!jungwon x fem!reader, masturbation(f. recieving), unpreotected sex(gyus no), mentions of a party, alcohol(both conscious), jungwon looks like a tease but it's a softie, mention of aftercare. wc: 2k(2.261) a/n pt2: this is proofread but once again english is not my frist languague so it may contains mistakes. hope you enjoy it !!!

‘’Why you care about body count so much?’’

You didn’t mean to overhear that conversation but those students were too close to you, and they weren’t speaking quietly. You took some books off your shelf locker, maybe a little slower to continue being nosey.

‘’ What if I'm sleeping with someone who has zero experience?’’

‘’ Everyone has been inexperienced at least once. Not a big deal, you’re having sex for fun not to impress someone.’’

That was right. No one should be ashamed for being a virgin, or lacking in experience. From the past years people made sex look like some kind of competition. Setting your status based on how many people you slept with. Nothing to flex about, neither if you have sex or not, both valid. 

‘’ I know for sure some of your classmates have lost their virginity…’’

‘’ Jesus, why are we talking about that? ‘’

‘’ What do you mean ‘we’? She seems to have been ovulating for the past two months! My girl, if you wanna get laid so bad, go ask Jay for one night. I'm pretty sure he won’t deny.’’

‘’Not my type.’’

The girls laughed, and so did you. Quietly, of course. 

‘’My type is more like… Jaeyoon? Or maybe Jungwon!’’

You knew both of them. Well, actually you knew Jake for always saying dumb shit at the worst moment possible. He kinda makes you laugh, and was a good classmate. And Jungwon… 

Jungwon was the type of guy who’s smart as fuck. Like, had a response to everything. He knew about so many things you couldn’t remember. Doesn’t talk too often but always has the first place in the ranking grades. No one could beat him even if they tried. A lot of people envied him for that, even making bad comments about him but Jungwon didn’t seem to care. For you, it was just admiration. A person so sweet, caring and smart. You couldn’t find bad traits about him and you didn’t want to.

It’s been four days since that conversation lingered in your mind and you couldn't help but wonder what was your ideal type. Never thought about that before and you felt curious. Not that you have an extensive list of crushes throughout your life but still.

Of course you liked some people, but none of them had a unique trait to make you think ‘’that is maybe some kind of my type’’ like glasses, or people taller than you. Honestly, you didn’t care as long as they were nice to you and the others.

Cuz we don’t beg or idealise the bare minimum. 

As soon as you stepped outside the school building, you stretched your body, hearing some of your bones crack. It was Friday, finally. And you couldn’t wait to arrive home and do nothing for the rest of the weekend. But again, you overheard another conversation.

‘’It is true that this boy next class is arranging a party?’’

‘’I think so, shall we go?’’

A party… When was the last time you went to a party? You thought about it, until said party day came. You stood in front of the door, hearing the music through the walls, blasting. Was that a good idea? You were 100% sure you wanted to spend the night in someone’s house full of people you didn't know?

When you stepped inside, the warmth of people's bodies slapped you, making you gasp for air. Did they really enjoy being so crowded, almost sweating, rubbing against other people? You didn't like the idea, and walked through dancing bodies until you reached the kitchen, apparently the only place in the house that seemed to be… spacious. 

You got yourself a cup of whatever they were handing, sipping thirsty and almost immediately regretting it. 

‘’Shit, did these people even pour some soda or something?’’ you muttered, eyebrows furrowing as you checked the plastic cup. 

By the corner of your eye, you caught some silhouette gripping the kitchen counter. He seemed like the alcohol was doing something to him, and he tried to act cool but didn’t work. Concerned, you held him by his arm, and soon found out who he was.

‘’Jungwon?’’

‘’Did you know those fuckers are serving just alcohol? No mixed, no shit. Straight pure alcohol like it’s gonna be banned.’’ he said, shaking his head with disapproval. ‘’Fuck, it’s burning my throat. And the people here aren’t making it easy.’’

You chuckled, softly. You haven’t heard Jungwon curse like that, like he was truly disgusted. 

You looked around, searching for a crowdless place to bring him. But everywhere was full of students: furniture, the couch, even the corners… Everything was filled with drunk, noisy people. And when you were that irritable, the least you wanted was some drunkass bothering you.

‘’Come here, let’s go.’’

You took him by his wrist, leading the way across the people. You didn’t even know whose house it was, but your steps guided you to the close bedroom, opening the door and entering, pulling Jungwon inside too. You placed him on the edge of the bed, and you took a seat on some chair in front of him.

Jungwon had his cheeks blushed due to the alcohol but still was very conscious of his actions and thoughts. His lips were parted slightly, breathing through them. And then was when you realised that Jungwon never had a dating rumor. You found him so pretty you reached that conclusion. You haven’t seen him with a girl, or talking about girls. Was he single? Or was he in a private relationship with someone? You heard other students making fun of him because apparently he had no one.

But what was the reality?

When you came back down from your daydreaming, you found his feline eyes looking directly at you, his head tilted to one side trying to read your mind.

‘’You good?’’ you asked, acting as natural as you could.

‘’Uh-hum’’ he hummed. ‘’And you? You seem far away from here.’’

You looked at him again, feeling how the blush was creeping in your face. And he smirked. He fucking smirked, like he noticed you red-ish shade lighting up you face. Like he knew what was inside your head.

Jungwon leaned in to grab the armchair, and pulled it closer to him, placing you and the chair between his legs. Suddenly something shifted in the air. Having him so close made your pulse rate high. 

‘’Is there any hidden intention why you brought me here?’’ 

You swallow hard, shaking your head. ‘’I–I saw you struggling, and thought to… I don’t know, you maybe feel better with no one around.’’

He faked a thoughtful expression. His hand travelled from the armchair to your chin, raising your head for you to look fully at him. There was something dark in his eyes, something you couldn’t quite tell. And honestly, it was hard to tell if you liked it or not.

Before you could react, his lips were pressing against yours. Slow movements started an addicting dance between both lips. His hand cupped your face, tilting it to one side to fit the kiss even better. You kissed him back without thinking twice, with hunger. 

With ease he lifted you and laid you down on the bed, positioning him between your legs. His lips descended from your mouth to your neck, marking and sucking it at the right places, like he knew your body better than you did. You squirmed beneath him, soft whines leaving your lips. You heard him curse underneath his breath, teeth sinking your soft neck skin to suppress his gasps.

He looked at you again, desire mixed with some kind of adoration reflecting his eyes. His hand roamed your body, memorizing every inch of it. You could keep still, arching your body against his soft touch. Jungwon’s fingerpads reached your clothed nipples, brushing it slowly until they were hard, perky.

‘’You liked that?’’ he smiled, pitching you perky bud and got a moan for answer, content.

‘’F–Feels good.’’

‘’Does it? Should I continue?’’

‘’Please.’’

Jungwon didn't hang you waiting, raising you top clothes and exposing your breasts, covered by the thin layer of your bra. Gently hands were kneading your soft flesh, feeling every inch of your breasts. You back arched again to keep feeling the warmth of his hands, which traveled down until reaching your pants. You nodded at him as giving permission to go further, and he unbuttoned your pants, sliding them through your legs and tossing them aside.

He gripped your knees, spreading them to settle between them again. His fingers traced soft lines inside your thigh until they reached your clothes core, cupping it above the fabric. You gasped, breath hitching as he started to give pressure into your clit –or at least where he thought it was.

You shifted slightly, moving your hips to align his fingerpads and your clit. He was fast to catch up on what was going on.

‘’Not reaching?’’

‘’You’re a bit to the side…’’ you giggled softly, earning a soft chuckle from him for the first time that night.

He was a bit ashamed. It was his first time doing something like that, a fact that you would believe if he said it out loud. When he had enough of teasing you, his free hand moved to slide your panties to one side, taking a look at your wet pussy. He tried again, pressing two fingers in your clit and moving them in slow circles. He watches carefully your expressions, how you face contorned in pleasure even if he was moving them at slow pace.

He left you clit to spread your lips and coated his fingers in your arousal, the same ones brushing your entrance but not putting it in. Jungwon saw your legs tremble, trying to trap his hand between them and had to grab one of your legs to keep them open.

‘’Tell me if you want to stop because I don’t think I have enough energy myself. Please Y/N…’’

‘’N–No, don’t stop.’’

He smiled, and got rid of his own pants and underwear. You looked down, curious, and saw his hard dick standing. Maybe it was the prettiest dick you have ever seen–not that you saw many but still. He took himself from the base and pushed the tip a bit, coating it with your juices.

‘’You sure?’’

‘’Yes, I’m sure.’’

You looked at him for the last time. He trapped his bottom lip between his teeth, brows furrowing slightly. His cheeks were even red-ish that before, and you couldn’t help but to think that he was looking so cute right now. Despite being seconds away to fuck you, but he was still cute. He held one of your hands, interlacing his fingers at the same time he pushed his length inside you.

Inch by inch he bottomed you out, making sure there was no pain during it. But the second he noticed your scrunched expression, he stopped.

‘’Are you alright?’’

You nodded but Jungwon didn’t feel like it. His mind was racing, thinking of something to ease the pain you were not talking about. Then an idea snapped his mind. Jungwon took a pillow and placed it under your lower back, making your body a bit arched. 

‘’O–Oh, feels better like this.’’ You told him, squeezing his hand.

He took it as a sign to continue. Slowly, he pulled back a bit and again pushed his entire dick inside you, leaving you gasping for air. Jungwon continued to move with no rush, letting your insides adjust to his length. His free hand caressed your sides, then your stomach until they were back at your hips. Grabbing them, he started to pick up his pace, your moans slowly driving him insane.

You found out that, same as you, he was a vocal person. Especially when your walls clapped him so tight it was hard to move inside.

‘’Shit– You feel so good.’’ he panted, leaning closer to your body. His hot breath reached your neck, giving you goosebumps. 

Soon his dick was reaching spots you would have never known it would feel so good, making you squirm under his body. Your moans became a bit pitch-highed and more continuous, a clear sign you were close to snap. And that was the last straw from Jungwon, pushing harder into you, his tip constantly rubbing that sweet spot inside you.

You could tell he was close too by the way his thrusts were sloppier, his dick twitching inside you.

‘’F–Fuck, I’m so close–’’

‘’Me too, please. Don’t slow down.’’

He growled, hooking one of your legs from behind and lifting it a bit, reaching even further.

‘’Fuck! Just like that!’’

‘’ Haah… Y/N, wh–where do you want it?’’

You mumbled something about outside but not clarifying where. He waited until you reached your peak, clamping hard his dick with your gummy walls as the orgasm washed you all over. It felt good, so good he almost forgot to pull out. He was lost in the way his name fell off your lips in such an erotic way.

As you were coming back from your high, Jungwon suddenly pulled out, just in time to spurt thick ropes of cum from his throbbing cock. They landed in your pussy, mixed with your own release. 

You two tried to catch your breath, feeling how his seed was dripping from your cunt into the sheets beneath you. 

‘’You good?’’ he asked, stroking gently your face. You nodded. ‘’Good, let me clean you, okay?

[pandoraspurgatory]

seeing your hc of katsuki being into vanilla homemade porn has me dazy eyed 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫….. i’m so curious now if there were any specific porn creators you thought of when envisioning what he liked? or any who you think would fuck like katsuki? goodness… 😵‍💫

Turbulent

Truthfully I am not a porn watcher as I am a porn reader, so that question is far beyond my knowledge lol. Though I’ve written an in depth version of Katsuki watching porn, hope you enjoy<3

Katsuki Bakugo can’t get off on mainstream porn, though something changes when he finds a couples homemade video

Katsuki Bakugo likes vanilla porn, masturbation, cum, pretty vanilla here, mentions of facefucking + cuckholding, Denki and Mineta are bitchless

Katsuki never cared enough nor paid much attention to porn, stroking himself in his bedroom wasn’t worth the effort when he could spend his time training and honing his skills as a 3rd year student close to graduating.

Either it was that, or the fact that he just couldn’t cum from it.

He first gave it watching porn a go when Denki and Mineta spent the afternoon yapping about different genres of porn. He wasn’t an eavesdropper, though he listened in on the conversation, taking notes for a later date.

Bakugo only ever found himself rubbing one out when he woke up with a painful hard on, or got so worked up over some fantasy that he couldn’t get his dick back down.

That same night Katsuki sat infront of his laptop, legs open and pants discarded on the carpeted floor, a bottle of lotion splayed out on the bed next to him. He opened up the first website that appeared after typing ‘porn’ in his browser, incognito mode on of course, he had double checked. Hastily typing what he had overheard in the orange and black search bar.

‘Face fucking’

He grimaced as he clicked on the first video of some Internet whore with a fat cock stuffed down her throat. Mascara running down her face as she started her assault of sucking on the comically large dick. He could somewhat imagine himself doing it, though the drool and mess was a massive turnoff that made him feel sticky just watching it. Next

‘Cuckholding’

The moment it appeared on his screen after searching a lot made sense regarding Denki and Mineta. Of course they were into this shit, why the fuck did he even decide to listen on to those morons conversation. He was confident he could never be into this. Next

The next hour was filled off him stroking his half erect cock to mediocre videos with no luck. He’d even watched the top most recommended on the site, the drum beat before each video posing as a reminder that this wasn’t working. At this point it wasn’t even to get himself off, but rather to prove to himself he could find a video to do it for him.

None of this shit on his laptop could even remotely turn him on, there was no love or intimacy, just videos of devoid eyes and lacklustre movements that screamed ‘I want to get home and get my paycheck!’.

He hated to admit it, though he couldn’t ever imagine himself having a one night stand or watching these emotionless videos again. Despite his rough and calloused nature, he craved intimacy just as much as he craved to be the best in his class. Katsukis cock lay limp in his hand as he scrolls through the videos, more and more loading after each roll of the laptop mouse.

That was until a certain video caught his eye.

‘Our first video - couple homemade’ 12 views, posted 2 hours ago

He clicked on it, something felt different about this one. The thumbnail displaying what seemed to be a couple in their mid twenties, kissing in the frame of the video. The women had long black hair and sexy curves that made Katsukis dick twitch. The man she was with cupping her face gently with deep admiration for her in his eyes.

As the video slowly played out on his screen, he paid no mind to the humming background noise of their bedroom fan and the shitty resolution. What struck him was the way they kindly talked to each other, pressing small yet passionate kisses on each others faces, how their soft hands rubbed and stroked at one another with care and love.

Katsukis hand roughly gripped around his dick before he could even think to do it. Feeling himself desperately stroke faster each time the couple said sentences of care and sweet nothings to each other. Low moans he didn’t anticipate escaping his mouth as the man slowly inserted himself into the curvy brunette. He wasn’t even attracted to the couple in the video, though he couldn’t help but feel the coil in his stomach build as the intimacy of their love making displayed itself before him.

He wanted to be the one to do it, to bury his cock into his hypothetical girlfriend and dick her down with all the love in his heart. Apart of him felt weird for not being turned on by the professionally made studio porn instead of the homemade couple video with a total of 500 pixels. He tried not to think about it too hard, and focus on how hard his shaft throbbed in his hands.

He felt blissed out as he slowly edged himself, determined to cum at the same time as the couple, a desperately attempt at feeling included. Squeezing his tip harder every time pretty moans escaped their mouths, fuck he wanted to be in their position so badly.

“F-fuck babe… mmmnggg… gonna cum”

“That’s it, come for me pretty girl”

“Cum with me! I wanna feel you cum inside me”

Katsukis stomach felt hot, he was so turned on by the way they spoke to each other, the way they both quickened their movements desperate to make each other cum.

The moment the couple on the screen cried out in pleasure, Katsuki gave a few quick tugs, finishing himself off.

He gave out an embarrassingly loud groan as he released himself, ropes of his cum shooting onto his laptop screen. Panting as he laid back on his bed, he needs someone to do this with as soon as fucking possible

[dykealloy]

life is not a competition but good fucking lord it sucks to suck sometimes

[roxoxoxoxy]

NSFW Headcanons For ZeroBaseOne Maknae Line

Includes:- Taerae, Ricky, Gyuvin, Gunwook

Shimkongz section is kinda long, mb guys, they're my biases 😞🔫

Many typos, not much grammar.

Hyung line, Maknae line

✿ ✿ Taerae ✿ ✿

Every group has a bitchless virgin and I fear Taerae is it HEAR ME OUT✋🏼✋🏼

Just never really bad the opportunity, I also kinda get the vibe he was less interested in romance than other people.

Or maybe that's just me leaning into the fact that he's the only T in the group.

He's awkward as hell I'm the beginning, stops you before something can really happen because he's kind of shy.

You definitely have to take a more forward role in the beginning but I don't see him as someone who's really into Dom/sub dynamics.

Pretty vanilla, at least for now.

REALLY likes getting head, seeing you on your knees trying to please him really gets him going.

Prettiest moans, his voice is so beautiful like 🤭

Cums ALOT, his thighs shake from how much he cums sometimes.

Speaking of which, he gets really tired after sex, like fall asleep any minute type of tired, just wants to cuddle and go to sleep.

Gets kind of annoyed when you insists on cleaning up but will do it if you make enough of a stink about it.

✿ ✿ Ricky ✿ ✿

lol. Lmao even.

I'm sorry everyone but in my heart this man is a loser.

Wdym you played daddy's home on your live stream and posed? YOU WANNA BE COOL SO BAD🫵🏼 (I say this with affection)

Talks a big game but at the end of the day he's only like 20 years old and doesn't have much experience.

Tries to do the daddy Dom stuff, fails spectacularly.

Really ties to be a hard dom but he's too much of a softy for that, he isn't a virgin but still needs to figure out what works for him.

Definitely does like being dominant just not as hard as he thought he did, think of him as a soft dom that's into some hard kinks.

Praise kink. Both giving and recieving, he isn't insecure in anyway but it really turns him on when you talk about how food he's making you feel.

Vice versa he also loves praising you, most of its unconscious though, it kinda spills out when he's inside you.

More switchy than he initially thought he would be, the first time you pushed him onto the bed to ride him, it unlocked something within him.

Lazy as hell during aftercare, usually you have to pester him to come shower with you.

Will order you food though, anything you want, Mr tall rich and handsome over here

✿ ✿ Gyuvin ✿ ✿

Service Top. Argue with the wall because I'm right!!

Into minor pet play, being called puppy and such. Might even let you put a collar on him of you really want.

Also doesn't have much experience but I don't think he's a virgin either, maybe slept with one more person before you.

HAVE YOU SEEN HIS HANDS.

Has you lean your back against his chest and spread your legs so he can finger you easier, won't let you get up until he's made you cum at least twice.

Also a switch, he's so much of a service top that he'll sub if that's what you want.

Huge praise kink, on the receiving end. I remember he mentioned once that he didn't get a lot of compliments growing up so when you praise him, especially when he's fucking you, it really gets to him.

Also feel like he cries after sometimes, I feel like he's just a emotional person in general.

Speaking of being a service top, another munch 🙏🏼, laps you up like a dog (istg I can't go more than two posts without writing something with pet play, that's mb)

Prefers missionary, really likes seeing your face and the way it contorts when he's hitting it right.

Really cuddly during aftercare, wants to talk to you and just hold you for a while, pulls up and covers and brushes your hair out of your face, smiling as he talks about anything and everything with you.

You eventually start feeling gross though and make him clean you up.

Small spoon.

Sigh, I want him do bad it's not even funny.

✿ ✿ Gunwook ✿ ✿

He's such a tease, type of guy to hold something over his head so he can watch you try to reach for it, that translates into bed too.

Makes you say what you want, even when it's clear as day, will literally have you half naked I his bed and still insist you tell him exactly what you want.

Consent king?? I guess???

Also loves getting head, like so much that he'll go out of his way to ask for it, not that you mind though, he's got a pretty dick and even prettier moans.

He's into mild bondage too, both being tied up and tying you up, something about him being at your mercy turns him on immensely, and vice versa.

Into body worship, giggles and blushes whoever you point out how good his muscles look in his tank top, shaking his head and denying your compliment, all the while your words went straight to his dick.

Has a pretty high libido, you've done it in less than private places more than once, he just can't help himself.

Kinda shit at aftercare at first, just kinda goes to sleep, maybe draping a arm around you.

He learns overtime though, he still does the bare minimum but he genuinely does care.

Big spoon.

Don't really like this but I still wanted to post </3

[earlgreylatte]

Play to Lose

Marshall is a huge dick who probably hasn’t ever gotten laid. For some reason, you want this pathetic man.

Marshall Ward is so fucking weird.

The first time you ever interacted with him (if you could even call it an ‘interaction’) was watching him argue with a bunch of dumbass high schoolers.

Sat on his doorstep with a bowl of cereal in hand and a lit cigarette resting next to him, you watched a trio of teens happily heckle him as they practically skipped past his house on the way to their school.

“Hey, you’re not going to find a girlfriend at the bottom of that bowl, Marshall!”

“He’s nothing but a cuck, anyway!”

“Bitchless!”

High schoolers are particularly mouthy these days.

You watch him swing his spoon around wildly as he retorted, “I’ve gotten more than you virgins could ever dream of! Have fun getting killed by global warming before you ever know the touch of a woman besides your mom, who I also FUCKED, by the way!”

“Go fuck yourself!” The kids shout, flipping the man off as they turn the corner.

He sticks up his middle finger in response, spoon clutched in his palm, scowling before he catches sight of you across the street, your neighbour’s dog sniffing the ground, your grip on his leash slack from the scene you just witnessed.

He stares at you for a moment before realizing he’s been inadvertently flipping you off. He opens his hand into an awkward wave, spoon cluttering to the ground.

“Hey—oh fuck,” He bends down to retrieve his spoon, but only ends up dropping his bowl in the rush.

You shoot him one more judgmental glance before leading Stewart the Black Labrador back home.

It becomes a part of your routine, after that.

Every other day you would take Stewart on a walk, stop to watch Marshall get bullied by some kids, and then indulge his attempts at conversation.

(“Yeah, no, I’m like the cool older brother to them, we’re just joking——I didn’t actually fuck any of their moms, haha…”)

Soon, jilted conversations across the street turned into movie discussions at his doorstep (after the high schoolers were long gone, you didn’t want to become a target.), where you learned his eyes were a bright, almost electric blue. They were…nice.

He was definitely an asshole, but he wasn’t a bad guy. He always had something to say, someone to disparage or scoff at (usually high schoolers), was unusually invested in the new hero Radiant Black, but despite all that, he was considerate. With how he always put out his cigarette when you approached even when it looked freshly lit and the way he listened intently to your words when you decided to deem him with anything more than a dry stare.

(“All people do is talk shit without knowing the details, I——Radiant Black shouldn’t have to deal with their crap. Honestly, fuck everyone else and their moms…too far?”)

Eventually, conversations outside his door transferred to ones into his house when you realized he had a very adorable dog by the name of Orson, with charming, floppy ears and an appreciation for cuddles.

Yes, Orson is the reason you warmed up to Marshall.

(“I see how it is, you’re just using me to get to Orson! Well, Stewart and I don’t need you, anyway! Wait, come back—“)

Okay, so maybe you’ve become a bit fond of him and his stupid looking face. But that’s solely because of Orson. Definitely not because you caught a slip of his defined stomach when he was stretching.

So, when you find yourself next to him on his couch, watching some 80’s movie, as Orson naps by your feet, you make a decision.

“So, do you usually just pass out on your couch, or do you actually have a bed?” You speak up, turning your head to look at him, his face only illuminated by the TV.

“Uh, random, but yeah,” He responds, attention shifting to you as he raises an eyebrow, “Why?”

You rise from the worn couch, “Show me.”

“You’re so weird,” he says, but he acquiesces, leading you to his room.

A twin sized mattress rests next to the wall (no bed frame?), clothes and comics scattered across the floor. It was cluttered but not necessarily a pigsty, as from just a sniff you could pick up a whiff of laundry detergent and shampoo. Luckily, he mostly smoked outside.

He almost looks sheepish as he observes your reaction, “Trying to figure out if there’s anything valuable for when you decide to ransack the place?”

“No, nothing like that,” you respond before turning to face him, “You like me, right?”

He seems to blank out for a moment, “What?”

“You’re into me,” you nod, “And, I’m into you.”

“Huh?”

“Are you going to stand there slack jawed or are you going to do anything about having a girl that likes you right in your bedroom?” You ask.

He seems to snap back to reality, letting out a near hysterical laugh, “You confess like you’re talking about the weather, and what? No, actually, why am I even supposed to do with that!? This is a lot all at once! Are you expecting me to ravage you or something—“

“Yes.”

“I was joking? No, I was definitely joking—“

You tilt your head, “You don’t want to?”

“Well, I didn’t say that…”

You grip the hem of your hoodie before shrugging it off, letting it drop to the floor. He stares at your chest, still covered by your bra. You’re tempted to ask if this is his first pair.

“Is this your first pair?” You ask, gesturing to your breasts.

“No! I was just wondering if girls just——don’t wear shirts under their hoodies?”

“Shut up,” you order before stepping out of your pants.

“Shutting up…” He replies, fingers twitching at his side watching you intently as you slowly approach full nudity.

“Okay, you can talk,” you toss your bra next to his comics, an arm covering your chest as you move to his bed, propping yourself against the wall, seated on the mattress he called a bed. “Take off your clothes already, weirdo.”

Within an instant, his shirt and pants lay discarded on the floor and he joins you on the bed, crowding against you, a hand resting on the mattress near your hips, while the other places itself where your neck and shoulder meet as his mouth presses against yours, lips slightly chapped but incessant, as he hungrily devours you. A far cry from his earlier hesitancy.

You taste the smoke on him as he groans into your mouth, tongue pressing against your lips before you open for him, letting him suck and lick, swallowing your noise of surprise when a hand starts groping your chest, thumb rolling over your nipple.

He parts from you, letting you catch your breath before he dives down to envelop a breast into his mouth, teeth nipping as you jolt while he pinches you with the other.

“Ah, Marshall—!” You try to chide him, but you’re cut off when he does it again, “Ugh, seriously, you’re going to make them sore!”

You feel his laughter against your skin before he pulls away, meeting your gaze with a grin, “Really?”

“Yes, you—ow! Seriously, Marshall!” He pinches your nipples with another laugh, is this actually his first pair of tits? He’s acting like they’re a new toy to fiddle with. He continues to squeeze and flex his hands as you wiggle your hips impatiently, the heat in your stomach growing at his impromptu massage.

“Okay, okay, sorry!” He grins, hands trailing down your stomach to your thighs, fingers rubbing comforting circles, appreciating the softness.

You huff, hand reaching back to position the pillow against the mattress, nudging him to shuffle back with your foot as you lay down, shifting before looking up at him expectantly.

“You’re lucky you’re cute,” he smiles, keeping your thighs bent and apart, fingers brushing over your underwear, before his palm rubs against your clit, making you gasp. If you were more clearheaded, you’d have expressed surprise at him finding it so quickly.

“You know, you were complaining earlier, but you’re pretty wet now,” he comments smugly, watching you squirm at the continuous pressure against your sex, “Maybe if I…”

“Nnn-no,” you moan, back arching when he snakes a hand to pinch your hardened bud again. You’re going to kill him.

“Okay, last time, I swear,” he promises, now focused on helping your discard your last piece of clothing, pausing as the two of you silently stare at the clear liquid stringing from the fabric to your mound, “…you really don’t like it when I play with your tits?”

You glare at him and he pulls off your underwear, staring at them mournfully for a moment before tossing them on the floor with the rest of your clothes.

His finger runs up and down your slit, before pushing against your hole, sliding into you, and a second finger enters, as he begins a rotation of scissoring and thrusting as he stretches you out. Your stomach flexes, squirming when he speeds up.

“Keep still, you’ll be the one crying if I don’t prepare you enough,” he scolds you lightly, more focused than you’ve ever seen him.

“Confident?” You say, breathing hitching as you clench around his fingers. “Doubt you’re that big…”

He stops, face unreadable before he pulls away, and you glance at his prominent bulge. Okay, he’s not small.

He shoves his boxers off, and, okay, definitely not small.

He plants his hands on either side of you, settling in between your legs as he leans down to your face, kissing you again, as your hands move to trail up and down his back. You’ve never heard him talking about working out despite his built frame.

He pulls away, member rubbing against your hole, “You still want to do this?”

You dig your nails into his flesh, “Obviously.”

And without any more fanfare, he pushes into you, slowly feeding you each inch, as you shakily exhale, trying to swallow your noises and failing when your mouth drops opens and you swear you can feel him in your gut.

He starts to move, thrusts slow and long, gradually increasing his pace, as your chest starts to heave, your breath coming out in short pants and moans. You shut your eyes as you writhe under him when he moves to grip your hip with one hand as the other grinds against your clit, causing you to let out a choked whimper.

“You look innocent but you’re as desperate as me, aren’t you?” He speaks up, pace increasing enough to rock your body back and forth with each thrust. “You’ve wanted this as l-long as me, bet you touched yourself too…couldn’t get yourself to cum though based off how swollen your clit was from a little groping, heh. You needed me to help you cum, right? You particularly threw yourself at me—”

“Dick,” you choke out.

“Didn’t deny it…you acted all high and mighty earlier, but now you can barely string a sentence together—“

“Shut up,” you scrunch up your eyebrows, as you clenched around him, his pace faltering as he shuddered, wisps of hair sticking to his forehead.

“D-don’t do that….”

You do it again.

He pinches your nipple.

“Ah, f-fuck you—“

“Already doing that,” he grunts, finger still moving against you, his other hand leaving your breast to lock fingers with your hand, which was lying limply next to you, “You’re close, so just let go and—“

“Marshall—“

“Come on, there you go—“ he coaxes you, enraptured by the increasingly fucked out expression on your face.

With an embarrassingly loud moan, you orgasm as he fucks you through it, before he finishes, shooting his load into you with a low moan and shudder.

You both pant, eyes locked as he pulls out, cum oozing out of you onto his sheets, before his head falls to slump between your breasts.

You stare at the ceiling as he nuzzles against your moist skin.

“We didn’t use a condom.”

“Oh, fuck—“

(Shoving your head and arms into a borrowed graphic shirt, you flinch when the coarse fabric rubs against your nipples. You whip around to glare at Marshall, “I told you that you were going to make them sore!”

“Just go shirtless, and boom, problem solved,” he replies, pulling up his boxers.

“Kill yourself.”

“Love you too, babe.”

“We’re seriously doing things out of order, aren’t we…”)

I already know no one is going to read this and the small number of radiant black fans on this site are going to block me, but IDCCC! I’m the first one to make radiant black x reader content!! ME! (Why do I do this to myself…)

Reader and Marshall about each other: they’re so weird, thank god I’m normal…

read radiant black…

Masterlist

[miruac]

dating nanami headcanons

masterlist

navigation

warnings: nanamin being the absolute green flag he is(im so in love with him it isnt funny)

a/n: i love this man. i love him so much. the blueprint for my type irl. i love u namin <3

nanami thought he would never date-want to date, while being a sorceror

but when he met you, it was like a switch turned on in his brain

he suddenly fell head over heels when you walked onto the campus, as a teaching assistant who worked under gojo

you stepped into the room behind gojo, and behind his glasses he was STARING at you

everything gojo was yapping about came in through one ear and left through the other

when some people write nanami they write him as if hes absolutely bitchless and has never felt like any attraction to ANYONE whatsoever

but not me teehee :3

sure nanamins had some crushes on the past, but not so bad that he would be daydreaming about them everyday while laying on his bed and kicking his feet

it's been a while since he's crushed on someone, so he dismisses his feelings

his heart racing? too much caffeine. blush on his cheeks? thermostat cranked too high. sweaty palms? wore too many layers

hes so oblivious but also not how tf do i describe him

so observative. he saw how you shifted your weight away from gojo when he leaned on your shoulder and nanami SWOOPED RIGHT IN

'y/n-san, are you feeling alright? here, let me take you to shoko.'

oh im feral lol AWOOOOOGA

it went from being assigned on missions together, to small waves and smiles at each other in the halls, then shared lunch breaks 💔

hes so protective its sooo hot

he manages to always tuck you behind him and shields you with his body

his shoulders....his back...his arms...🤤🤤🤤

smash WHATTT WHO SAID THAT

i did im admitting it and im proud to admit it

he does the thing that like whenever someone he doesn't like comes up and starts flirting with you grabs your waist and pulls you against him

he does it so easily too its scary but so hawt of him

HES SOO OBSERVANT

knows when ans how to cheer you up if youve had a bad day

he never never wants to get angry at you

if he gets too heated, he politely asks that both of you find some time to cool down

always knows how to comfort you

you want time alone? yeah youll get some space. you want food? hes ordering it. whatever you want, he does

oh my baby. my old baby. i love him.

hes such a sleepy guy

hes used to not getting as much sleep due to him working so much overtime in the past

so much that its become a habit for him to sleep for like at most 5 hours at a time

sometimes when he comes home, he beelines straight for you

he throws his blade and blazer to the side, kicking his shoes off

and then he just lays on you

its crushing but in the most comforting way hes like a giant weigted blanket

you can't count the amount of times he's fallen asleep on you like that

he just feels so safe around you </3

im sad now

[machveil]

alright I know we’ve all talked about how johnny is a bush guy and honestly. bars. but it got me thinking about the why (the smell, obvi) and the how and the nitty gritty details.

start off with the facts: he didn’t ALWAYS know he was a bush guy. I love my beautiful pathetic man but I also strongly believe that part of his gym behaviors and simp tendencies stem from being a Loser in his youth. man was terminally bitchless. and that means, of course, that he watched truly SO much porn. and thanks to that influence, he spent much of his early adulthood thinking body hair on a woman or man was gross.

his path to enlightenment began in his first threesome. he proudly brags about the time he banged two chicks at once to his army buddies— and he did! but the reality might do less for those guys than it did (and still does) for johnny. some femme top and her pet butch took him home for the night, a little three person party to satisfy the craving for some strange. he’d planned for SOMEONE to spend the night face down ass up, just didn’t think it’d be himself. ariana and len had taught him the joys of pegging, body hair, and pad thai that night. he still sends them christmas cards.

from that day on it was him and his love of pubic hair against the world. fascinatingly, he isn’t as committed to other forms of body hair— whatever state of shaved or not his partners come to him is fine, so long oral involves him diving face first into bliss. he likes chest hair on a man, but he won’t weep the way he does when he sees a naked twig and berries. women with armpit hair? cute, but shave it if you want. just don’t leave his poor kitty out in the cold 🥺

and when he finally settles down with his girl (gonna go cis afab on this one bc it’s wish fulfillment for yours truly), best BELIEVE he is involved in that grooming routine. not in a controlling way (or not without prior consent, anyway). but as soon as he had the green light , hes buying the mildest hair oils, cotton underwear, the most unscented soap he can find! he wants his best friend to be comfortable and cared for!!!!! also you ig, whatever. he’ll even help with trimming every few months if it’s ABSOLUTELY necessary. just be prepared for him to pout the whole time. gently massaging his “favourite forest” (that one got him a kick to the head) is his most beloved pastime. he views cotton as the cleanest canvas for an artists masterpiece, folds his darlings panties with the care and admiration of a craftsman with the tools of his trade. there’s a special sort of hum in his chest as he tucks them into their shared intimates drawer, knowing he’ll see them on the other side when they smell musky and used and perfect.

AUGH i just live for Johnny being an absolute dog when it comes to being a munch+!!!!! (the plus is the hair). him coming home from a stressful day and peeling his sweet thing out of her knickers just so he can’t put his face down and kiss and smell and nuzzle. and half the time it’s not even sexual, he just feels so CLOSE to his partner at this, the most essential part of them. short of cracking open their ribcage and climbing in, it’s the best he can get to satisfy the part of him that craves the safety and closeness and comfort of them being one. FUCK he’s such a freak I wanna match it!!!!!!!!!

anon, I’m kissing your cheek, my Johnny thoughts have been loud lately and this scratched my brain just right. I don’t even have any notes, it was just a stellar take. shoutout to Ariana and Len, iconic