#honestly I think I could die right in front of them and neither would bat an eye

[resident-rats]

I may be miserable and on the verge of biting someone - but at least I am writing✨

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LUNATIC PARADE ;; Shuu Route ー Chapter 1

Yui: ( I have to retrieve my heart no matter what...! )

ー The scene starts in the area surrounding Bernstein Castle

Yui: ( Anyway, we should head to the city surrounding the castle. )

( But... )

Shuu: ...Pwah...

Yui: ( Doesn’t seem like Shuu-san wants to move a lot. )

( Honestly, I can’t imagine he would have come here in the past, so I’m happy he even came this far. )

( Still, we can’t just sit still here forever either. I wonder if there isn’t some kind of effective method to get him moving...? )

...Right!

Um, Shuu-san?

Shuu: Hm...?

Yui: There’s carriages over on the other side, so why don’t we take one of those to head to the city area?

I’m sure it will be much easier than going on foot.

Shuu: ...Aah, good point.

I can continue sleeping for a little while longer inside the vehicle as well.

...Let’s go then.

ー Shuu walks ahead

Yui: ...Yes!

ー The scene shifts to Glimmer Street’s main area

Yui: ( So this is the city...? )

( The townscape has somewhat of an unfamiliar vibe to it. Although I suppose that makes sense since this isn’t the human world. )

Shuu: I barely got any sleep because the carriage shook a lot more than I expected.

Haah...What a drag...

Yui: I’m sorry.

Shuu: You don’t need to apologize, really.

ーー So, what should we do next? We came here for you, so you’re coming up with our plan.

Yui: Um...

For starters, I would like to drop by Bernstein castle once.

So...Um...Will you come with me...?

Shuu: Nah.

ーー But if I say that, I would have come all the way here for nothing.

The castle’s that way.

Yui: Y-Yes!

ー The scene shifts to the frontside of the wagons

Yui: ( It has gotten more crowded. )

( The atmosphere is a little different from the Carnival as well. )

( ...Hm? Actually, now that I think about it... )

Shuu: ...Oi. You’ve been quiet this whole time...Do you have something on your mind?

Yui: Ah...You see...

Back during the Carnival, I remember having to constantly run away from trouble, but this time everything seems fine.

Shuu: Of course. Your heart has been stolen, so the usual scent of your blood is different.

Even the tasteーー

*Rustle*

Yui: Wah...!

ー Shuu drags her into a side alley

Shuu: ...Nn...Haah...

Yui: ( This...suddenly... )

Shuu: ...

Nn...

...Haah...Just as I thought, it tastes completely different as well.

With the Kleinod put inside of you in replacement of your heart, you are currently neither human nor Vampire.

So your blood is very mediocre, tasting somewhere in between both species. Like this, nobody will even think of targeting you.

We wouldn’t make the extra effort to drink bad blood after all.

Yui: T-Then why did you drink it....? You should have known all of that...

Shuu: ...Good question. Why don’t you try and come up with the answer by yourself?

Well, depending on how you look at it, this isn’t too bad of a situation, is it?

If you stay this way, you’ll no longer be chased down by Vampires.

Yui: You do have a point. But...

According to Reiji-san, Kleinods are unreliable...

If it stops working, then...

( If that happens, I will die. )

Shuu: Rest assured.

When that happens, I’ll turn you into a Vampire.

So there’s nothing to worry about.

Yui: ...Shuu-san...

( Into a Vampire, huh? )

( It would mean I get to live another day. )

( I’m sure this is Shuu-san’s way of showing kindness. )

( It makes me very happy. But... )

( If I get turned into a Vampire, I will no longer be human. )

( When I consider that... )

...

Shuu: ...What?

Yui: ( ...I should tell Shuu-san how I genuinely feel about this. I don’t want to lie to him after all. )

Um, I...

I can’t say with confidence that I would become a Vampire just to save my own life.

I’ve always been a human after all...

Shuu: Heeh...

...I see.

But why do you seem that hesitant then?

Yui: ...That’s...Well...

Shuu: ...

Yui: ( Oh no, I can’t put it into words very well... )

Shuu: ...Whatever.

For now, we should hurry ahead.

ー Shuu walks away

Yui: Ah...!

( Now it just feels as if we got into an argument... )

ー The scene shifts back to Glimmer Street’s main area

Shuu: ...

Yui: ...

Shuu: ...

Yui: ( ...Shuu-san hasn’t spoken a word ever since. I guess he’s upset after all, huh? )

( What should I do...? )

*THUD*

Yui: Wah!?

Stall owner: Uwah!?

*Thud thud*

Yui: ( O-Oh no! The goods...! )

Stall owner: Ahー... I can no longer sell these now.

Yui: I-I’m terribly sorry! I wasn’t paying attention and...

Shuu: ...Haah. What are you doing...?

Yui: ( Uu, Shuu-san seems completely done with me as well. )

Stall owner: No worries, don’t seem upset.

Yui: Eh...?

Stall owner: Only a few things fell on the ground. It’s no big deal, really.

More importantly...Is something weighing heavy on your mind? You were walking while lost in thought, no?

Have one of these candies and cheer up, okay?

These bat lollies are very popular here in the Demon World.

The gentleman over there is your boyfriend, isn’t he? If you’re fighting, you should give him one of these to make up.

Yui: Eh!? Y-Yes...!

Stall owner: Until we meet again...

ー The stall owner leaves with his cart

Yui: Ah...!

( He disappeared into the crowd almost instantly. )

( That being said...What a nice guy. )

( I would love to properly thank him one day. )

Shuu: ...

Yui: ( Ah...Shuu-san waited for me...? )

( I got this lolly now anyway, so might as well... )

( I wonder if I can really use this to make it up to him, just like that mister said? )

Um...Shuu-san, please, go ahead and have one.

( Will he accept it...? )

Shuu: ...

Thanks. (1)

Yui: N-No problem!

( Thank god! )

Shuu: Heeh...This lolly seems quite well-made. Hm...

...It doesn’t taste bad either.

Yui: ( For some reason...Like this, Shuu-san always seems like a child. )

Shuu: ...What?

Yui: N-Nothing!

Shuu: Well, okay then.

...Why don’t you give it a try as well?

Yui: Eh? ...Can I?

Shuu: I wouldn’t offer otherwise. Here.

Yui: Ah, thank you very much.

...You’re right, it’s delicious!

Shuu: Told you? It’s not half bad.

If you like it, why not have some more?

Selection

�� You should have it (☾)

Yui: I’m good, so you should have it.

Shuu: ...Oh. You don’t actually like it then, do you?

Yui: That’s not it, um...

I want you to have it exactly because I think it’s so delicious. I was hoping it would cheer you up at least a little.

Shuu: Hm...

I’ll take it then.

Yui: Yes.

Shuu: Ah, butーー

ー Shuu moves closer to kiss her

*Smooch*

Shuu: ...

Yui: ...!?

Shuu: I can share the sweetness with you like this.

Yui: ( H-He surprised me! But...I’m happy. )

→ Just a little more then

Yui: Just a few more bites then...Nom...

( Yeah, it really is good! )

Shuu: Haha...

Yui: Why are you laughing?

Shuu: No...You just seem so happy while eating that sweet treat.

Yui: ( Uu, it’s actually a little embarrassing now that I think about it... )

( But... )

Yui: ( I can assume things are good between the two of us again now, right...? )

Shuu: ...

...I guess you could say good things come when you least expect them. (2)

Yui: Yeah. My thoughts exactly. I would have never thought I’d get a treat for bumping into his cart.

Shuu: No, that’s not what I meant.

I’m talking about the smile that candy brought to your face.

You should always smile like that.

Yui: Shuu-san...

Shuu: About what I said...You really shouldn’t worry about having to choose between being a human or Vampire.

I’m sure I wouldn’t know what to say if someone suddenly told me to become a human either.

Yui: ( I didn’t think he’d be so understanding... )

Shuu: ...Come on, let’s get going now.

*Rustle*

Shuu: Give me your hand. You’re a horrible airhead, so I’ll hold it.

Yui: ( Wah...! Shuu-san grabbed my hand. )

Shuu: Good grief...Everywhere is overflowing with people.

Seems like it will take a while to get to the castle like this.

...What a drag...

Yui: ( He may say that but... )

( Personally, I’d love to stay like this just a little longer if possible... )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the gate in front of Bernstein castle

Yui: ( So this is Bernstein castle? It’s very impressive... )

Shuu: Doesn’t seem like we can get inside. The gates obviously won’t open and there appears to be some sort of barrier set up as well.

We might be able to sneak our way in if you could fly, but that would be asking for the impossible.

Yui: Yes...

Shuu: Well, I knew this would happen from the very beginning though.

The Count prides himself on never having a single treasure taken back from him.

In other words, he must have taken measures to ensure nobody can get inside his castle.

Even so, I assumed we would have been able to find at least one opening as long as we got close enough...

However, it seems it was naive of me to think that.

Yui: ( I see... )

So we’re out of luck...?

Shuu: ...

Yui: ( What should we do...? )

Shuu: ...Say.

Let me ask you just one thing. Do you truly want to get your heart back?

Yui: Eh...?

Shuu: Just answer me. Do you want to retrieve it or not...?

Yui: I...

I want it back.

Shuu: ...I see.

Gotcha.

ー Shuu suddenly walks away

Yui: S-Shuu-san!? Where are you going...!?

Shuu: ーー To an inn.

Yui: Heh...?

Shuu: Just standing around here won’t get us anywhere, will it?

So I’m going to an inn.

I’ll think of a plan there.

Yui: Shuu-san...!

Shuu: I didn’t give up on you. Rest assured.

Yui: Thank you very much!

Shuu: No need to thank me. You are always way too modest.

Come on, let’s go.

Yui: Yes...!

ー The scene shifts to the lobby of Hotel Mondstein 

Yui: ( I’m a little nervous... )

Hotel staff: Excuse me, sir. You would like a room for two for tonight, correct?

Shuu: Yes. 

For me and my wife.

Hotel staff: Noted. We will get everything ready, so please wait over there until then...

Yui: ...U-Um, Shuu-san...

Are you sure you should have called me your wife?

Shuu: Yeah. Got a problem with it?

Yui: N-No, not really...

( It just felt a little embarrassing... )

Hotel staff: ーー My sincere apologies for the wait. I shall escort you to your room.

Shuu: Yeah.

Yui: ( Phew...That made my heart skip a beat. )

ー The scene shifts to their room

Yui: What a lovely room...

Shuu: You think so? Seems pretty mediocre to me.

...Haah...

ー Shuu lies down on the bed

*Thud*

Yui: ( Ah, geez, Shuu-san. He just plopped down on the bed right away. )

Shuu: I’m exhausted...Just order some room service for now. Whatever strikes your fancy.

They should have a special menu available only during the Parade as well.

Yui: Fufu, okay. Please leave the order up to me.

( Um, the menu card is... )

*Flip*

Yui: Wah...!

( What a delicious-looking dinner! )

Shuu: ...

Yui: ( The afternoon tea inspired by the Parade is very cute too. )

Shuu: ...

Yui: Huh? Shuu-san...? Aren’t you going to sleep?

Or rather...Did you chuckle just now?

Shuu: I was astounded by how happy you looked.

Yui: ( D-Did I get a little too excited? I should calm down... )

Shuu: So, have you decided on what to get?

Yui: Um...I’ll order the afternoon tea then, okay?

( Phew... )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ( Order complete. )

Shuu: ...

Yui: Shuu-san? Are you no longer tired?

Shuu: No, I’m sleepy.

I’m gonna take a nap so come here.

*Rustle*

Yui: Wah!

( He pulled me into his arms. )

U-Um...?

Shuu: Keep quiet. Body pillows shouldn’t talk.

Yui: ( Uu...This is embarrassing! )

( However, I should keep quiet for his sake. )

Shuu: ...Perfect.

...Nn...

*Smooch*

Yui: Ah!?

Shuu: I told you to keep quiet, no?

Yui: ( No fair... )

Shuu: ...Nn...

*Smooch*

*Knock knock*

Yui: ( The room service is here! )

S-Shuu-san. You have to let go...

Shuu: Why?

Yui: Why, you ask...?

Shuu: They can just come in if they need us.

*Knock knock*

Shuu: ーー The door’s unlocked!

Hotel staff: Pardon the intrusion.

ー The lady enters the room

Hotel staff: I have brought your orーー!?

Yui: ( S-She saw us. )

Hotel staff: ...I have brought your order.

Shuu: Set everything up on the balcony, please.

Hotel staff: As you wish.

*Cling cling*

Yui: ( Uu...How embarrassing... )

Hotel staff: Now if you would excuse me.

ー She leaves again 

Yui: S-Shuu-san! Why would you do this...!?

Shuu: What do you mean ‘this’?

Yui: Y-You know...This...As if you’re trying to show off...

Shuu: I didn’t just ‘try’, I actually did mean to do that though?

Yui: ...!

Shuu: Haha...Your face’s bright red.

Yui: G-Gosh! Don’t tease me!

Shuu: You’re to blame for always falling for it.

ー Shuu gets up from the bed

Shuu: Anyway, hurry up to the balcony.

We’re going to set up a plan over a cup of tea.

Yui: ( Haah, he has me completely following his lead... (3) )

ー The scene shifts to the balcony

Shuu: ...I actually remembered something.

Yui: Remembered...?

Shuu: Yeah.

*Cling*

Shuu: I happen to know a Vampire who is very knowledgeable on the Count.

Yui: ...!

Shuu: If we hit him up, he might be able to tell us a way to get your heart back from the Count.

It’s just...There’s one little problem.

Yui: A problem...?

Shuu: ...You’ll get it once we get there, don’t worry.

Yui: ( I wonder what he means? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the gondola dock

Yui: ( I wonder what kind of place it is if we have to go there by gondola...? )

ー The scene shifts to the middle of the mountains

Yui: T-This is...quite the creepy area, isn’t it?

Is someone truly living here?

Shuu: If my memory serves me correctly.

ー Shuu starts walking

Yui: ( I should just follow Shuu-san for now. )

ー Yui follows suit

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ( We’ve gone quite far into the mountains already... )

( I don’t think I could make it back to the gondolas by myself. The path is bumpy as well... )

Shuu: Haah...What a drag...

Yui: ( Shuu-san...He may complain, but he continues walking on regardless. )

( I shouldn’t be the one lagging behind then. I have to push through! )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ( We’ve walked for quite some time since then, but I still can’t see the end... )

...This acquaintance of yours lives quite far away, doesn’t he? 

Shuu: ...

Yui: ...? Shuu-san?

Shuu: ...Haah. 

ーー We got lost.

Yui: Eeh!?

( T-That possibility briefly crossed my mind but no way...! What now!? )

ー The scene shifts to a cave

Shuu: Haah...We should get some rest here for the night.

Yui: Y-Yeah.

( We really lucked out to find a cave nearby. )

*HOOOOOWL*

Yui: ...!

Shuu: ...

ー Shuu hugs her close

*Rustle*

Yui: ( H-He embraced me...! )

Shuu: If any wild beasts get in, I can simply chase them back out.

So, you know...Don’t worry.

Yui: Shuu-san...

Shuu: Once we get your heart back, I don’t mind keeping you company at the Parade or whatever.

You like that sorta stuff, don’t you?

Yui: Yeah...!

( There’s no reason to be anxious. I...have Shuu-san by my side after all. )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) もらっとく or ‘morratoku’ literally means ‘I’ll accept it (in preparation of something else’. I could have translated it as  ‘I’ll take it’ as well, but personally I felt like this was Shuu-san’s way of thanking her. The boys tend to take the roundabout way when expressing their feelings after all.

(2) The idiom 棚から牡丹餅 or ‘tana kara botamochi’ literally means ‘red bean mochi falls from the shelf’ and refers to an unexpected streak of luck.

(3) If you get caught up in someone else’s ‘pace’, it means that you are at their mercy, simply following along as the other person decides what you will do.

← RETURN TO PROLOGUE

→ PROCEED WITH MAIN STORY [CHAPTER 2]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #1 [W/ REIJI]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #2 [W/ LAITO]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #3 [W/ YUMA]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #4 [W/ CARLA]

[kopikokun]

(Don't) Tell Me More༄ m.taeil

↳ Taeil's loaded, and that's a severe understatement. So, what on earth is this rich kid doing cleaning pools every Sunday? Looking for love, of course, and a little help with rubbing sunscreen on his back. Ultraviolet protection's a must; it's getting real hot in here.

pairing: (secret rich kid) pool boy!taeil x gn rich kid!reader

genre: fluff, suggestive

warning(s): the suggestive bit is the unaddressed tension, and the one joke about bad porn taeil makes. overall, just the ~vibes~ haha

word count: 2153 words

author's note: i got... carried away. no worries, the starved taeil fans deserve a meal. idk how many years it'll take for the next one. also, please notify me if i accidentally used any gendered language. i’ve checked multiple times, but i’m human, and would sincerely appreciate if you pointed out any of my mistakes or even offered feedback ♡

☆༓･*˚⁺‧͙ 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗹𝗶𝘀𝘁: do i wanna know (arctic monkeys) ✧ head over heels (loveleo) ✧ honey (moxie) ✧ dance with me (sir, please) ✧ doubt (hippo campus) ✧ heat waves (glass animals)

← BACK TO NAVI.

Labour isn’t Taeil’s forte. Born with a gold spoon between his lips, and six digits in his bank account at five, he’s lived a life beyond lavish.

Fridays are reserved for piano lessons and tennis, Saturdays for buttering up his father’s potential clients in country clubs, and Sundays for swimming in the five meter deep pool in his backyard. Well, at least, Sundays used to be.

Taeil’s plenty passionate about swimming–freestyle, backstroke, butterfly–but about cleaning swimming pools? Not so much.

So, why is he spending every Sunday afternoon sweaty, swathed in sunscreen, and despairing over chemical imbalances? The answer is simple, and lazing on a deck chair at this very moment: you.

You’re new–courtesy of the raise in your father’s already outrageous salary–and when Taeil first lay his eyes upon you at the park, he was enamoured. He’d actually tripped on a root in his trance, and you’d crouched beside him to ask whether he was alright. Humiliated, he’d silently hobbled after as you lead him to a bench. You’d nursed the wound he hadn’t realised he’d sustained as best you could: rinsing and dabbing it dry.

“I’ll walk you home,” he’d said. “A token of appreciation, if you will.”

You’d accepted his token. The walk wasn’t far, but it was likely because you made for such good company. Taeil would be engrossed even if you droned on about cheese for an hour, which coincidentally, is exactly what Mr. Liu’s monologue had entailed the month before. That conversation had bored him half to death however.

It felt too quick; your estate was already looming over him, auguring the end of your encounter when he’d finally recovered from his ignominy. Desperate for more, Taeil had blurted out the first thing in sight: your pool. That’s why you’d mentioned your dad needing a pool cleaner every weekend, and how, despite being clueless in the department, Taeil had wholeheartedly offered himself. You’d been elated, beaming, over the moon. How could he say no?

It had seemed appealing in the moment, but his train of thought had been superficial. Turns out, those mass-produced specially-targeted summer chick-flicks were lying! Who would’ve guessed? Pool boying was not just flaunting your washboard abs and bulging biceps as you netted a few leaves. Oh no. The first few test cleans Taeil had done with his pool… well, it became off limits for a week. And an actual expert had to be hired. Those gritty aspects aren’t the most marketable, or inherently sexy, so Taeil supposes the chick-flick deceits are partially excused.

But back to what matters: you. Your–how should he put it?–spunk, hadn’t been anticipated. Not an ounce of that pretentious reticence the local wealthy feel entitled to prevails in you. It’s refreshing. You’re adrenaline personified. Just your presence has Taeil’s heart palpitating. Since he’d been hired, every week has been more fleeting glances, yearning touches, puckish banter. And last week… well, there’s no time for that, because now you’re beckoning him over, your hand wrapped around a tube of sunscreen. Taeil prances to you, complaisant.

“Sit,” you urge, dragging a wicker stool in front of you. “You’re done for today, right?”

“Yeah, water didn’t need treatment this week. Just skimmed the surface for debris.” Taeil hesitates. He feels awkward after last week, when he’d kissed you. Yes, kissed you. You haven’t said a word about it since, and there’s no way in hell he’s doing it first. “But, it’s okay. I’m gonna go soon.”

“Aww, please, Taeil? Sit?” You pat the chair and smile, eyelashes glinting in the sun. That’s all it takes for Taeil to succumb, the rattan crackling beneath his weight. Your fingers graze his arm. “It’s a hot day, huh? A swim would be nice.”

His eyebrows crease. "Sorry, were you waiting?"

“No, no, it’s fine.” You tilt your head. “But…”

“What?”

“Do you want to go swimming with me?”

Taeil fists the material of his swim shorts, spine erect. The fabric crinkles. Whether he wants to what? “Oh, uh, well, I don’t wanna intrude. I’m sure your parents wouldn’t be happy about me swimming in their pool.”

The heat of your body seeps into his skin as your arms coil around his. “They don’t mind, and if they did, they’re not home to say so.”

This feels like the start of a trashy porn. Taeil flushes. “Oh.”

“So? What do you say?”

His adam’s apple buoys. “Sure. Wouldn’t hurt, right?”

“Exactly.” The sunscreen’s cap clacks open. “Here, you gotta reapply more.” Taeil extends his palm, and you squeeze some into it.

He deliberates his next move. It’s difficult to think when you’re gazing at him like that, lashes batting and lips curled into a demure smile. “You don’t mind if I”–he rubs his nape with a free hand–“uh, take off my shirt, right? I don’t wanna dirty your pool.”

“Sure! I definitely wouldn’t mind, so long as you’re okay with it.” You tuck your knees to your chest. “Why? Do you want me to look away?”

“No, I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t making you uncomfortable.” Taeil’s going to pass out, he’s betting money on it.

He doesn’t, but he does glow incandescent when he strips himself of his clammy shirt. The humid air only exacerbates his feverish blush.

Growing up, Taeil’s parents always emphasised presentability, and he’s nothing if not presentable. He’s proud of his physique, diligently maintaining it with rigorous exercise, and sure, he’s had a few self-conscious blips, but they’re transient. Taeil knows he’s attractive, yet under your keen eye, he rubs sunscreen–on his neck, chest, and abdomen–hunched forward.

“Do you need help?” You peer over his shoulder, wagging the aquamarine bottle like bait. “With your back. You know, for the spots you can’t reach?”

You’ll be the death of him. You’re going to kill him, but he honestly wouldn’t mind that. Taeil’s never had any ‘spots he can’t reach’, but, “Yeah, sure. Thanks.”

Your fingers are ridiculously delicate, like you’re weaving gossamer across his back–sunscreen webs, if that’s a thing. Taeil’s sure someone would pay grotesquely for that. Mr. Liu would.

Neither of you speak, only the sound of skin against skin drifting alongside the scent of coconut oil and cocoa butter. At one point, your nails unintentionally trail his back, and Taeil shivers.

His body tingles with the vestige of your touch, and when he assumes you’re done, you stun him with a good, hard, satisfying squeeze to his shoulders; the ones twined rigid from graft. Taeil actually groans in relief, which had probably stunned you. Or maybe that’s what you were hoping for.

Internally, he’s broiling in mortification, but externally, his shoulders slacken, his head hangs forward, and his exhales are long and grateful. It’s embarrassing. For crying out loud, he has his own professional masseuse, yet when it’s you doing it–yeah, he needn’t elaborate further. He’s gushed about you enough.

“Feels nice, right?”

“God, yeah, it feels”–a particularly forceful squeeze elicits another groan from him–“good. Do you have any experience? You’re amazing at this.”

“Just my dad. When I was younger he used to pay me to massage his shoulders after work,” you say, fingers miraculously knowing exactly which muscle to knead at what intensity. Is this what heaven feels like? “Well, there was also the massage course I signed up for a few years ago.”

“Well”–another sigh–“it definitely paid off.”

“It better have, given how pricey it was.” Your lilt is roguish, and it sounds like you’re enjoying this as much as Taeil is.

He wants to die like this, but you’re already standing, and stretching your arms overhead before he can really soak the sensation in.

“Let’s go for that swim, huh?”

“Uh,” Taeil blinks, dazed, “yeah.”

He trails after you, facing away when you lower yourself into the water without qualms. Duh, it’s your pool. Why would you have scruples about swimming in your pool? Taeil, on the other hand, dithers, because it’s not his pool, and he can’t help but fret that your parents could walk in on you swimming with the pool boy.

“Hurry up! A little water’s not gonna hurt you.”

“I’m not scared of the water,” he says, staring pointedly at you. He’s never felt so vehemently for someone before, and you’re so… unpredictable. It’s invigorating. It’s terrifying. Do you like him, or are you just bored?

He ventures as far as sitting on the edge of the pool’s deck, where water kisses concrete. His legs dangle, acclimating to both the temperature, and the reality that he really is about to jump into his employer’s pool. The water is cold, caressing his leg as you wade closer to stand between his knees. Your eyes sweep over him. Taeil’s stomach coils. He hopes you like what you see.

“You okay?” you ask, hand over his right knee. It’s freezing. “You look a little flushed.”

Your hand crawls further up his leg. “Yeah,” he scoffs, “I wonder why.”

“Aw, don’t be shy,” you grin, upturning your palms and offering them to him. “Come on.”

Taeil should’ve thought your motives through, but how could he have denied your invitation? He’s still a guy, and well, it’s you. Regardless, he should’ve scrounged up some semblance of prudence because it was blatant what you’d needed his hands for. To pull him under. Literally.

The tug is harsh and efficient, jolting him forward into the polar depths before he can object. Taeil’s not thinking straight–the stark contrast in temperatures pummel his rationality–so he grabs the closest thing he can: you. It’s reckless of him, given the two of you are in the deep end and he could drown you. But risks evade his psyche as he loops his arms around your waist, your body pressing into his. Fortunately, he won’t be facing charges anytime soon because you do resurface, still in his arms, and strangely, you’re not pissed, you’re laughing. Laughing so hard your head’s thrown back, and your body trembles. It’s not funny–you could’ve died for God’s sake–but Taeil feels a rumble course through him; a chuckle, a giggle, a laugh. Now, he’s laughing too, though there’s nothing funny about this. He’s laughing because you’re laughing, and that’s enough of a reason for him.

“Are you okay?” you finally say, titters dissolving into a faint smile. “That was mean of me, sorry.”

Your face is inches from his, so Taeil’s voice shrinks. “No, it’s fine. I’m sorry I grabbed onto you though. And, oh, uh”–he starts loosening his grip of you–“sorry I–”

"No, wait.” This time, it’s your arms curling around him. “It’s fine. I don’t mind this. It feels… nice.”

“Yeah… it - it does.”

The water laps at his sternum, and Taeil takes his chances by nuzzling his nose into the crook of your neck. You let him, though neither of you know each other enough for this kind of intimacy. Maybe that’s why he’s so enthralled by you. Hell, you don’t even know he’s the son of some rich socialite. To you, he’s just the pool boy. Maybe that’s why you’re playing along with him. Because there’s something exhilarating about chasing something you shouldn’t when you’ve never had to run before. Because there’s a thrill in pain when you’re unscathed. Because when you’re someone like you and Taeil, mistakes can be afforded. Anyway, what does Taeil know of pain? In fact, what does he know of you to think this? It isn’t like he knows what your intentions are with him. You’re unpredictable. That’s your whole schtick. It’s funny, because Taeil knows your pool’s pH levels better than you.

Your fingers scrape into his sopping hair.

Or maybe he likes you for you. Maybe he likes what little of you he does know. So, does he want to know more?

“What do you think of me?” he murmurs against your skin.

“You’re fun.”

“Is that all?”

“Well, then, what do you think of me?”

Taeil lifts his head from your shoulder, the strength of his embrace withering. “Honestly, I don’t really know.”

You grin. “See? It’s hard to put into words, right?”

“I guess,” he smiles. You make it sound nice that you don’t know him. You make it sound like there’s just too much that you can’t express it. Maybe that’s what’s happening right now. Maybe there’s just too much Taeil likes about you to comprehend, so he thinks there’s nothing he really likes about you at all.

“You’re funny, Taeil.”

He isn’t. “Thanks.”

Taeil’s unsure how much time passes; long enough that the water’s gone tepid at least.

“Do you… like me?” he asks. Maybe if he hears you say yes, he’ll know what all the things he adores about you are.

There’s a pause.

“You’re fun, right?” you ask, thumbing a rivulet from his cheek.

“Yeah, I’ve been told I am.”

“Then, yes.” Your lips brush his. “I like you, Taeil.”

[gravegroves]

Can I ask about 2 and 8 for the wip tag game?

I've already talked about 8 (search #tag game in my tags and you'll find it).

But omg thank you for asking about 2!!

2. Like a Bat Out of Hell, Indiana

Oh man, oh man. This. This right here? This is my baby. My precious. The one I wrote so self indulgently that even if no one else likes it, I LIKE IT. And I'm completely okay with that.

El and Hopper fail at closing the gate at the end of s2, Billy appears at the Byers' house just in time and so begins a mad dash across the country, trying to outrun the end of the fucking world.

Tw: death (no one we care about though)

Excerpt:

The sound of a car roaring into the driveway has Steve's heart crashing up into his throat and they all turn to watch as headlights dance across the living room walls, sharp and blinding, like a goddamn beacon of hope.

And Steve doesn't have time to think about why the deep rumbling of the engine sounds so familiar.

He moves the kids now or they die.

"Get to the car, now!" Steve screams, just as the window at the end of the hall explodes inward.

Max gets to the door first and tears out of the house, sprinting toward the high beam lights with the boys hot on her heels.

"Billy!" She screams and goddamnit she can't mean--

She reaches the car, yanks the passenger side door open and pushes the front seat forward, shoving Dustin, Mike and Lucas into the back before diving in herself, righting the front seat in a practised move just in time for Steve to jump in after her.

And yep. There he is.

Hargrove's expression would be hilarious if they weren't seconds away from being overrun by a horde of carnivorous monster dogs.

"What the fuck do you losers think you're doing?!" Billy roars, eyes bugging slightly when he recognises Steve.

"Harrington?!"

Steve grabs him by the collar and screams into his face: "Just fucking drive!" 

A loud crash has them both snapping their heads to the side just in time to watch as a hundred Demodogs or more come rushing out from behind the Byers' house, heading straight for them.

Without another word, Billy yanks the car into reverse and accelerates before hitting the breaks. Steve's stomach swoops as their momentum lets the wheels slide over the gravel to land perfectly on the road.

He grabs Billy's arm, yanks on it like it might shake some urgency into him.

"Hargrove, go!"

"Seatbelts! Get the seatbelts" Max yells at the others.

That's what she's worried about? Steve thinks, even as he reaches over his shoulder to strap himself in.

Then Billy puts the car into gear and guns it forward and they go from 0 to 70 mph in ten seconds flat, zooming down old, twisting back roads and Steve honestly can't believe that Hargrove's insane, wannabe NASCAR driving is gonna be what saves their asses tonight.

"What the hell are you doing all the way out here with my sister, huh?" Billy yells, taking his eyes off the road to look over at him and Steve might seriously have a fucking heart attack.

"Eyes on the road!" He exclaims, foot searching the footwell for a break pedal that isn't there, "For real, man? You want to do this now?!"

"Or you can get out and fucking walk, amigo," Billy snarls, swerving around another Demodog leaping for the hood of his car, "What the hell is up with these dogs?"

"Billy, stop it! Can you jus-- look out!" Max shrieks, her arm shooting between them to point straight ahead and the kids all begin yelling as the flower-in-bloom-faced ugly fuck grows larger in the windscreen at an alarming speed.

Smooth as butter, Billy avoids the gaping creature in their path, not taking his foot off the accelerator for even a second. Steve's heart beats a drum solo against his adam's apple. His fingers feel fused to the edges of the seat, holding on for dear life.

"Jesus Christ, what the fuck was that?" Billy turns to look behind him and Steve clenches his teeth so hard his jaw hurts, barely restraining himself from yanking Billy around to face forward again.

"Hargrove, I swear to God--"

"Oh god, look."

Steve turns his head the slightest amount to see Lucas pointing out of the window at the treeline to their right.

Demodogs.

Lots of them.

So many slimy, greyish bodies that the forest floor has all but disappeared and transformed into a churning sea of dark, slick oil.

More worryingly, they're all running in the same direction as the Camaro.

Fuck.

"What the…" Billy falters when he looks out of the window at the treeline, then seems to shake it off, placing his undivided attention back on the road for once.

He speeds up to pass a whole group of the beasts trying to cross to the other side, narrowly misses being cut off entirely by the mass of Demodog bodies. Steve releases a hand from the seat only to clutch at the grab handle on the door. He closes his eyes, swears he can feel his stomach fall out of his ass when the wheels on his side of the car lift into the air for half a beat.  

"Shit, we're gonna die!" Dustin wails, voice wobbly as Billy jerks the wheel again to avoid a creature charging straight for them. If the kids weren't already packed in like sardines they'd be sliding around back there, seatbelt or no. "We're definitely gonna die! This psycho is gonna kill us before the monsters do!"

Billy scowls into the rear-view mirror and grits out "Hey kid, you're welcome to get out and walk."

"You literally tried to run us off the road a week ago--"

"Not the time, Dustin!" Max snaps and shushes him.

"We need to get to the gate!" Mike blurts out, leaning forward to speak directly at Steve. Demanding. "We need to help El!"

Steve doesn't even have the faintest idea of how to begin doing any of that.

"Dude, we can't just go back there, are you crazy--" Lucas pulls him back and they continue to argue in harsh whispers.

"If you losers don't shut the fuck up, I'll crash this goddamn car just so I can take you all with me." Billy barks, knuckles white on the wheel.

"Oh my god, see! What did I tell you?" Dustin exclaims, "He's dangerous, Steve!"

Yeah, well, he's all that we've got, Steve doesn’t say. "Shut up, Dustin."

They turn into the first proper residential street and Billy misses a tree by an inch as he tries to avoid colliding with five demodogs hunched over something on the road.

Oh god, was that a body?

"Harrington, where the fuck am I going?"

Steve closes his eyes, overwhelmed and completely out of his depth. They might have been the B team, but there hadn't actually been a plan B--

"Fuck, fuck! I don't know--"

"Billy," Max pleads, voice shaky with terror, silencing them all, "My mom…" 

Billy sighs explosively before turning down a side street, barely slowing down.

"Shit."

*****

It's not just Max's mom, but Dustin's mom, too. Lucas's family. Mike's family. 

They reach Old Cherry Road first and Billy barely allows the car to come to a full stop, Demodogs further down the street are taking notice of them already, stalking forward, mouths blooming excitedly. Steve eyes them warily until a garbled oh fuck from the back seat draws his attention to the other side of the street and--

It's bad.

The porch light sets the stage for a grizzly scene at the Hargrove residence. A woman lies directly beneath it, like the opening shot to a fucked up play, her head of red hair spilling over the top step.

She's very obviously dead. Steve can see where she must have tripped on the welcome rug -- awkwardly stiff and upturned between her feet -- and he can only hope she got knocked out in the fall and didn't feel a thing that came after. There isn't much left between her head and her knees except for a dark patch of gøre.

The headless body of a man lies slumped against a truck parked in the driveway, one arm stuck through the open car door, half torn off within his jacket. Blood still running down the concrete incline, pooling in the roadside gutter.

"Oh, you Bastard," Billy spits, barely a whisper.

The longer Steve stares, the more horrifying the scene becomes.

He doesn't want Max to see this. Or Billy.

Max doesn't make a sound.

Billy slams his fist against the steering wheel a couple of times, then peels away from the curb before the Demodogs can get too close.

*****

Dustin's house is dark. There's no car in the driveway.

"I told her Mews had been seen in Loch Nora. She must still be out looking..." Dustin trails off quietly. Shellshocked.

It's almost midnight. Steve doubts she's still out looking for a cat. And if she is...

"I wanted to keep her out of the way."

No one says anything.

They drive.

*****

The Sinclair house is dark, too, no lights on except for the motion sensor activated ones over the empty carport.

Billy doesn't bother slowing down. The area is absolutely swarming with creatures already.

"It's so late. Where..." Lucas falters, scanning the houses they pass, like he made a mistake and his home will appear any minute now. "Where did they go?"

"I'm sure they're okay, man," Steve tries, but it feels flat, false, "If they're in a car they could make it out. Your mom too, Dustin."

Billy grimaces, but says nothing.

"What?" Steve demands.

"I was just here looking for Max. They were home." 

He keeps a laser focus on the road now, on avoiding the monsters spilling out onto their path, growling when he's forced to change down a gear before aggressively working his way up in speed once more, jaw clenched tight.

"You probably caught them on their way out." Steve insists.

Billy looks doubtful, but he nods anyway. Neither of them enough of an asshole to take a kid's hopes away like that.

They move on.

*****

"Let me out," Mike says, quietly. Trembling. Hands pushing against the back of Steve's seat like he'll be able to bend it out of the way through sheer force of will.

No one moves.

The front door to the Wheeler home is open, door splintered where the deadbolt held, but the wood didn't. The car is parked in the carport. All the lights are on. 

Karen Wheeler's corpse lies forgotten and half devoured on the front lawn.

In the driveway, a tiny yellow sock lies next to bloody drag marks disappearing into the grass--

Oh god...

"Let me out." 

Steve's lips move, but he can't seem to draw breath enough to produce sound..

Billy seems to shake himself out of a daze, takes a deep breath beside him. "Nah, kid."

And Mike just snaps. 

"Fuck you! Fuck you!" He screams, punching and kicking the seat in front of him.

Steve leans forward out of the seat and puts his head in his hands. 

"Let me out! LET ME OUT!" Mike shrieks, begs.

"No." Billy says again, evenly.

Mike's voice breaks on a wordless scream.

Steve wants to do his own bit of kicking and screaming, but someone needs to keep their fucking head in the game or they're all going to end up dead.

By some twisted turn of fate that someone is turning out to be Billy fucking Hargrove.

Hysterically, he remembers hearing about Billy abandoning Carla Green to walk home alone from the quarry after she'd scratched the Camaro's dashboard with her fake nails by accident.

Mike kicks the back of the seat again. Billy says nothing.

All the kids are crying, now.

Mike's screams eventually taper off into babbling sobs and Dustin does his best to comfort him through his own half-choked cries. Lucas is whispering to a sobbing Max, his own breaths hitching and heaving uncontrollably, on the edge of breaking.

Steve's eyes sting, hidden behind his hands.

He lifts his head up and glances over at Billy, still tracking the side of the road, the edge of the trees. He looks so normal that it almost throws Steve for a loop. He wants to grab Billy by the collar again. Shake him. Scream: what part of this aren't you getting?

"The fuck is going on?" Billy hisses, almost to himself and oh, right.

"Later," Steve promises, hoarsely, digs the heels of his hands into his eyes hard enough to see stars.

"You know what they are?"

"Yeah." Steve says after a great deal of swallowing past the lump in his throat.

If Hargrove's voice betrays even a hint of emotion Steve knows he's gonna fucking lose it. Luckily, the guy keeps his shit together so Steve can keep a lid on his.

"You know what kills them?" Billy continues.

"Heat," Dustin says, voice thick, "And, like, bullets."

Billy nods, "Alright, how warm are we talking?"

"They don't like warm weather or daylight, but I don't think it kills them. Weakens them, maybe. Sends them underground."

"Fire will." Steve says, pulling at his hair until it hurts, dragging himself out of foggy despair and into the present where he's needed. He accidentally runs his gaze past Karen's body and tries not to dry-heave.

Mike is still crying behind him and god fuck, they should get out of here. The kid shouldn't be seeing this.

"Where do we go?" Max whispers, like she read his mind. She sounds as lost as Steve feels.

Billy revs the engine and turns to Steve, "Any requests?"

Steve thinks about the huge empty house waiting for him, a gaping nightmare at the edge of the woods. He balks at the thought.

Where the fuck do we go?

"Just get us out of Hawkins."

[cybernaght]

Guardian rewatch: Episode 3

First of all, wow. When I decided to post those online, I was expecting that they would be read by two people, both of whom I personally know. It was in equal part surprising and terrifying that so many of you ventured here. Thank you for reading, I really appreciate it. 

Episode 3 is probably my favourite case. It’s not perfectly strung together, there is little actual investigative work in it, but it’s a beautiful story of boundless love and devotion, which echoes through the relationship between our protagonists

Professor Shen is looking at some materials that are looking suspiciously like research into something supernatural, when Zhang Ruonan makes an appearance at his office, claiming that she is absolutely fine, while clearly being very far away from fine. This is something Shen Wei can certainly relate to, because he is the king of hiding his ailments from others. 

Zhu Hong’s one-sided affection for Zhao Yunlan starts to show already in this episode:  while he has the cold, she nags him to take care of himself, shoves tissues into his hands, and presses him to drink his meds. It’s easy to imagine even this early on that she will be the woman drunk dialling him one day. 

I know this could be seen as straightbaiting, but I honestly thing that the actual purpose it serves in the show is the opposite; I’ll talk more about it when we get there.

Zhao Yunlan spends a lot of this episode in Shen Wei’s office, starting with this scene, in which is obviously flexing. Not only does he sneeze all over the office, he goes to eat Shen Wei’s cake after specifically being told not to eat it.  He also takes his opportunity to mix questioning with flirting, as is his usual way. He keeps eye contact while spooning cake into his mouth, as he explains, jovially, that another mysterious death on his campus cannot possibly be a coincidence. And, to be fair, he is not really wrong. We are meant to believe that this is all set in motion by Zhu Jiu, aka the least scary villain in the history of villainy, and an owner of your staple baby goth wig. I will not mention him again until the plot makes it impossible for me not to do so. 

Zhang Ruonan comes in, and Zhao Yunlan introduces himself as Shen Wei’s good friend. Which is half-way between a flex and an act of kindness. On one hand, he could have said he was from the police - which would be absolutely true - and risk tarnishing the professor’s good name. On the other hand, he could probably look less pleased with himself. Shen Wei, at the very least, looks neither grateful, nor amused. 

Zhao Yunlan asks her if she new the victim and she looks incredibly shifty as she flees. He is right to think that something is up, and he correctly assumes trauma, rather than guilt. We can now start to see that he is very very good at reading people. It must be equal parts thrilling and disconcerting for him to have met something who he decisively cannot read. Shen Wei vouches for the woman, partly, surely, because his Hei Pao Shi sense is tingling, letting him know that someone is eavesdropping. 

Despite feeling uneasy, Shen Wei still offers Guo Changcheng, who is left to collect various paperwork from his desk, a little smile. He has a reason to like Xiao Guo, of course: he was the one to see the young man’s kindness and understanding, and he is already growing protective of him, way before he will start seeing members of the special unit as his people. This reminds me of how many months later, he will subtly, but decisively stop a barrage of verbal abuse against Xiao Guo by dropping a pair of chopsticks. 

Zhao Yunlan is taking Xiao Guo with him on the case rather than anyone else, partly, supposedly, because of Guo Changcheng’s familial connections. The young man looks more sure of himself, asking correct questions, dutifully records answers. He also tries to look after his Chief by asking him to go home and rest. He does phrase it badly, but Zhao Yunlan has a thing against his own health and well-being, so he reacts extra poorly.

Soon after, Zhao Yunlan’s at Shen Wei’s office yet again, as Shen Wei tries his best to ignore him, in the hope that he… well, maybe not goes away, but does not ask him anything that will require him lying. Instead, Zhao Yunlan is asking Shen Wei why he is bad at reading people, which is a very strange thing to ask. Shen Wei answers his question with a question, “Will seeing through people really lessen the hurt and disappointment?” Adding, “Many tragedies were destined from the beginning”. He looks well.. like this as he says it. 

This is loaded. On first glance, it’s a pretty good set-up to the way this story will unfold, as a tragedy of two individuals who let their devotion to each other nearly ruin each other’s life. A fragile human and a dangerous powered Undergroundian: what else is that, but a tragedy, waiting to happen? But this story - this one right in front of us - will not end tragically, at least not for the two people it enters around. It could do so, but it will not. Maybe, this truly is the first hint that this entire narrative, so carefully set up from the very first time Zhao Yunlan and Shen Wei meet, is destined to be a tragedy. Moreover, that it must be one, for some cosmic reason. 

(… I apologise while I go have a little cry in the corner. Damn you, Guardian, why do you make me hurt so much?)

Da Qing inexplicably morphs from black cat to a human in white t-shirt while doing night shadowing, and promptly falls asleep on patrol. Why is he being sent to stake anyone out? He is least suitable for it.  He is literally a cat. He sleeps 16 hours a day. 

Surprisingly, when pressed, Zhang Ruonan comes clean very easily, revealing that she was a victim of the three students she failed (two of which are already dead and one one standing right next to them), who lured her out at night, which left her vulnerable to be attacked. Zhao Yunlan listens to this story, and instead of… oh I don’t know, perhaps asking her the identity of the third student, leaves to go find that out for himself. It is heavily implied that he does it on purpose, which is definitely not okay.  

Moreover, he goes and... asks Shen Wei. This makes me suspect that he’s not really thinking with his head at this point. As he does so, he is brandishing a letter opener. 

Shen Wei is looking even less impressed with him than he did during their last few conversations. 

Zhao Yunlan is a little bit flippant when it comes to students’ lives this episode. And yes, they have done something really quite horrible to another human being, but that's not a very good excuse to let the last of them just die. As it happens, the situation Yunlan created - perhaps on purpose - did lure out Zhao Ruonan’s murder girlfriend, but it also cost a student his life. Which is far from ideal, but is somehow never even mentioned. Instead of being aghast, he sits on the table as he goes into full interrogation mode. (As he will continue to do a lot. Sometimes he crouches on tables instead. There is no further point here, apart from: I like this character quirk. It’s a nice character quirk.)

He brings some of his team in at this point, and asks Zhu Hong to continue interrogation. It would be a nice gesture is he did not interject two questions in. 

“How do you regard your relationship with Wang Yike?”

“We are family.”

They are definitely, decisively not going for sisterly bond here. Which is kind of incredible. This is one of the moments the amorphous being that show is looks at the censors, wiggles its battered low budget eyebrows at them, and then proceeds to flip them off. Well done, Guardian. 

Wang Yike calls Zhang Ruonan, saying there is one more victim she needs to take care of, and Lin Jing traces the call back to campus. Zhao Yunlan, who did not even bat an eyelid at a dead student earlier, now looks decisively worried  

“Oh no. Professor Shen.” 

The only reason Shen Wei is attacked is jealousy. Wang Yike does not know this of course, but trying to kill him is a bad move, because a) he has long ago given his heart away, and is definitely not interested; b) this is probably the only thing she could do to make the man on the case very very upset; c) Shen Wei’s immune to her powers. 

“Someone like you will never understand what she means to me!” Wang Yike shouts eventually. “As long as I can protect her, my life has worth!” And, even as Wang Yike has no way of knowing it, these are the words that ultimately save both her and her loved one. Because Shen Wei does in fact understand what Zhang Ruonan means to her. His own endless and ultimately self-destructive devotion is his main driving force.

Shen Wei pretends to be hurt, again, which earns him a half-hug from the object of his devotion. If Zhao Yunlan does notice that Shen Wei should really come out of this attack grey haired and dead, and not just mildly inconvenienced, he chooses not to say anything. 

Worried about her murder girlfriend, Zhang Ruonan rushes in and accidentally touches her. Zhao Yunlan Freaks The Hell Out. Shen Wei does, too, but in his own, reserved, way. They are both emotionally invested in those two people, although for very different reasons: Shen Wei is acutely feeling resonance of his own past in their story, and Zhao Yunlan, I think, wants to fix it, he wants to be able to make it better. Instead, Shen Wei fixes it for him, turning the tide on this tragedy, and giving it a happy ending. He heals Zhang Ruonan right in front of the officers of SID, albeit with much subtlety. (“Have someone saved her right under our noses?” Zhu Hong will snort the very same evening, and she will be 100% correct.)

Shen Wei also lets Wang Yike go despite the undeniable fact that she did kill three people. Here, he is looking at the picture of this human/Undergroundian couple, surviving despite all odds, and touches his only reminder that Kunlun really was in his life. 

He then burns the picture as the only evidence that Wang Yike was not punished by him for her crimes. 

In the end, Guo Chengcheng is making first of his many diary notes about the events, recounting a conversation between Shen Wei and Zhao Yunlan we had not witnessed, in which Shen Wei mentioned a relationship based on devotion that can last a thousand years, and Zhao Yunlan called such a relationship “guarding”. Finally, Guo Changcheng hopes that he can become a guardian of all. 

And this is making me think that this absolutely should be a set-up for him becoming a wick of the guardian lantern, as per every single other decision that was made prior to the last two episodes. Right? This is a perfect foreshadowing, and mentioning it here, so early in the show would not make any sense if it were a deliberate subversion. So, was Guo Changcheng meant to become the wick after all before... what, some rewrites happened? What made the final episode be what it was in the end?

(This is a genuine question by that way, if anyone has any insight on the matter.)

The episode would end here, if this was a western show, with a familiar monster of the week structure, but it does not. At least, the way it ends is reminiscent of a cliffhanger, with Zhao Yunlan catching Shen Wei in a middle of a crime scene, and looking betrayed. 

Next episode: Lynchian Nightmare, aka people without faces. 

PS.

I did not have a seamless way to stick this in anywhere but... Shen Wei’s technological ineptness at the max: he does not know how to use a Polaroid camera. Help him, he is so lost.

——

Second point of housekeeping to say a few things: 

I don’t think I will be consistent with certain things being transliterated versus translated. I am more likely to use Hei Pao Shi rather than Black Cloak Envoy (because the later reminds me of Tuxedo Mask, which makes me inwardly giggle every time) but at the same time I am also more likely to use Underground/Undergroundian rather than Dixing/Dixingren. I am more likely to use Xiao rather than Little, but have called Chu Old rather than Lao before. I hope that’s not grating, but do tell me if it is

My recaps are Shen Wei-heavy. I have no real explanation for this, apart from.. I like Shen Wei. 

I realise that there will definitely be things here that are head canon and speculation rather than flat observations; this show is a work of fiction and a work of art, which cannot be interpreted objectively. If you have alternate takes on anything I write in the future, let me know! 

[charming-2d-boys]

New follower here! For the 500 follower event, could ask for #16 with hisoka and/or illumi? You choose. Thank you!

Hello! I hope you'll like it here @heyitsgarnet 😊

And thank you all for requesting, I hope you’ll like those as well and whatever else may come! 🙇💕😄

Here is Uvogin’s part and here is Nobunaga’s!

A/N: I put the ones with Illumi together with the other request since they are pretty similar and it would be a bit hard to use prompt 11 in 4 different ways...especially for Illumi. This just became part of something bigger and I had an idea, hope you and the others don’t mind me lumping them together

11. “You’re insane,” “You love me,” “Not right now I don’t.”

12. “Give me attention.”

16. “You met me yesterday.” “Yes, and I would die for you. Next question.”

19. “She’s hiding behind the sofa.”

Word count: 1539

-----

   It hadn’t been his idea. Honestly, if Illumi would’ve had any saying in this, it wouldn’t have even been worth mentioning. But, alas, the Zoldyck family wanted a wife for him and he couldn’t say no. Despite Silva being confident in Killua returning and taking over the family business, Zeno quietly suggested the oldest son having an heir himself. Just in case things didn’t work out as planned.

   That’s how Illumi found himself face to face with you. You were different, he could just feel it. Your Aura, the way you held yourself, how you spoke and even moved. Illumi didn’t really know what to think of you. You must’ve been something if his family chose you. After all, they wanted only the best.

   “The reason we called you here today is because we have a mission for you and Illumi. Here are the details.” Zeno said as a butler came and gave you and Illumi some documents with information about the target. You smiled and agreed while Illumi stared at the paper, confused. It didn’t seem like such a difficult mission, so why did they send the two of you together? “We’d like to see how the two of you would work together.” Ah, so that’s what it was about. After all, if you’d get to be part of the family, knowing that you could work together with Illumi and be professional while also married - and probably giving the family a new heir would - be an asset to the Zoldycks that they couldn’t miss out on.

   Knowing the details, the both of you left together the very next day, watching your target and learning more in order to come up with a good plan. At least, that was the plan. Illumi didn’t seem to want to work with you that much. He barely spoke and kept to himself, shooting down your suggestions and always finding a flaw within them. You kept trying. Not because you wanted to get married to him or anything – you couldn’t care any less. But you actually wanted to get along with him, at least a little. Stubbornness apparently ran in your family.

   During the mission, both of you went your own ways, dispatching guards left and right on opposite sides of the target’s house. You reached an enormous room full of precious artefacts, only to find Illumi in the back of the room, fighting some guards as a few others were doing his bidding and slaughtering their comrades – his Nen needles’ power, no doubt. He didn’t seem to be having a very hard time nor breaking a sweat. But you did see a sniper aiming at him from the floor above, gun propped against the railing as he had a clear shot of Illumi. Whether Illumi had sensed him or not didn’t matter because soon, he was falling, his body and gun hitting the floor with a loud thud. Illumi briefly glanced at the commotion and you before going back to his fight, with you coming to his aid here and there and getting rid of whoever dared to come from above or behind you. One of Illumi’s needles whizzed past you and you heard a gurgling and a thud. Part of you was thankful while another was wondering if he might’ve wanted to scare you with the needle’s proximity. You’d almost thrown yourself in front of an enemy who attempted to catch Illumi by surprise, the aforementioned man angrily dealing with the guard in a split second. As all of the bodies on the floor were soon lying on the floor except for the two of you, Illumi strode to you, toe to toe with you as he glared.

   “Are you stupid? You met me yesterday.”

   “Yes, and I would die for you. Next question.” Illumi looked at you incredulously as if you’d just grown another head. No sooner were the two of you done talking that you noticed a vault door in a hallway to the side, almost hidden, which you wouldn’t have noticed if not for a faint noise coming from its direction. You both looked at one another before silently moving in unison. The door wasn’t completely closed and when Illumi pulled it open, you saw your target in a corner. Needless to say, he was quickly disposed of by Illumi and the two of you returned to the hotel you were staying at, taking a late night dinner together.

   You both talked that night – you more than Illumi, though he talked a lot when it came to his family. At your suggestion a few hours later, Illumi and you decided to stay for a few more days in town, which was solved with a quick call to the Zoldycks. He wasn’t so bad once you got to know him somewhat and he was definitely an interesting individual who seemed to be quite knowledgeable despite his young age. The time together was spent going through different cafés and museums, enjoying the town and whatever it had to offer.

   And as soon as you returned to the Zoldyck estate, it was pretty much settled that you two would get married. Neither you nor Illumi seemed to mind. It would be a new experience for the two of you and you were sure you could make him open up even more. Luckily for you, he already care quite a lot by the time you two tied the knot.

   Besides that first mission where you showed Illumi that you were willing to sacrifice yourself for him, there was one more time when something similar happened. Another mission where the two of you went together – this time as a married couple instead of business partners – and again, your instinct told you to protect Illumi. This time, he was late by a fraction of a second and you got hurt – not badly and you barely reacted, but Illumi grew angry at the sight of blood trailing down your skin and quickly killed whoever hurt you. The target was still alive and Illumi sent you home, leaving before you could argue with him to finish the mission.

   It had left a bitter taste in your mouth and as soon as you were dropped off at the estate, you went to your room and hid behind the large couch present there, just like when you were a kid and got scolded. Looking out the large, open window at the garden outside, mulling over your thoughts and what you could’ve – should’ve – said, you were snapped out of your thoughts by Illumi’s voice coming from outside.

   “Where is (Y/N)?” He asked as he started going up the stairs to the entrance, Gotoh following behind him.

   “In your bedroom. She’s hiding behind the sofa, sir.” You rolled your eyes, readying yourself for Illumi’s appearance. Of course Gotoh would tell him. Soon, you heard the door open and saw Illumi appear  next to you. You refused to look at him as you drew formless shapes into the carpet with your finger. With a barely audible sigh, he sat down next to you, your knees touching.

   “I don’t want you to get hurt on my behalf.” You stayed silent, trying to sort through your emotions and thoughts. You were married – in love or not, you knew you liked him a lot and cared about him – and felt it was natural to want him to be safe, even if he was more than well prepared. It was like your body moved without your mind having a say in it. But would Illumi understand if you told him this? Would he consider you too weak or as if you needed protection? Would he just refuse to let you tag along on missions?

   “Hey, give me attention. I really don’t want you to get hurt, okay?” You sighed before turning to face him, finding Illumi’s stare directed at your face. You had to explain your feelings to him, even if it would be hard for him to understand. But surprisingly, he did understand your point of view.

   “I know you’re strong and capable, Illumi. But so am I, don’t forget that. I was trained to be an assassin, too, even if it’s not what I want to do for the rest of my life.” He only nodded before tensing as your fingers linked with his. He was still getting used to affectionate gestures and tender touches, but he soon relaxed, both of you left in comfortable silence.

   “You’re insane, you know that?” Illumi asked you after a bit of thinking, though you had a feeling it was a rhetorical question. You could only laugh before squeezing his hand.

   “Maybe~ But you love me~” You looked at him, batting your eyelashes as a playful smile took over your lips.

   “Not right now I don’t.” You pouted before pinching his side, receiving only a confused look which you quickly altered by poking his cheek cutely. Illumi surprised you by kissing your palm, making you freeze and feel your cheeks heat up.

   “You’ll be the death of me one day…” You mumbled before burying your face into his shoulder, trying to compose yourself. Little did you know that Illumi was thinking the exact same thing as he looked at you fondly, feeling the butterflies swirling around in his stomach.

[voidcat]

– a case of bad luck

3. making a scene

m.list ; prev ; next ; wc: 2.7k

a/n: rmr when i said i'd not post a chapter befre writing at least one chapter ahead? ahahaha anyways,,, here's wonderwall. song name mentioned at the end of the chapter!!

He doesn’t show his face for the next few days.

The feeling of being watched goes away with him, despite knowing it’ll be over shortly.

Finding things to occupy your mind starts off easier than you thought, no one bats an eye to it either. Slowly rumors start to spread about the boy who hasn’t shown his face in weeks.

Exes complain and bad mouth, friends stick around and make excuses, some believe he ran off to chase a dream or start a new life; a theory from each head, all speculating, not even close to the truth of it.

Then comes the news reports, a close friend must’ve heard from the cops, body found dead, covered in bruises. ‘They say he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, crossed an alley too narrow at a time too late.’ Nobody speaks of the bodies found with him, someone must’ve messed with the crime scene.

“So, how are things going with him?” a voice from your right snaps your attention.

What?.. You stare at your friend, then realize she must mean Dazai.

“Not much. He’s still in town, we hang out sometimes.” The lie slips off smoothly yet they seem disappointed at your answer. Then remembering what he claims to have said to them, it makes sense in a way, although a dumb way it is.

“Do you think he was murdered?” “What could he have done to die a brutal way?” they join the flock of gossipers. Nothing new or exciting to do recently, taking a guess has become the new sport, as if a correct guess could earn them something of a meaning.

You close your ears to the same whispers of different voices and try focusing on what’s at hand. Maybe you should remember what it is for first.

The dreaded feeling comes back after few more days and with it, so does he.

Waiting in the same spot just like the last time, another suspicious smile decorating his face, accompanied by fresh bandages. Rolling your eyes at the sight of him, you look for a means to escape, even just for one more day but your friends spot him short after, wave their hands at him and push you to his direction.

Lovely.

A cloying voice to match that smile, he greets you first. “Hello darling-“ “Don’t call me that.” You cut in. He pays no mind.

Like last time, the two of you begin to walk, ignoring the curious looks of your friends focused on your back. “Have you thought about my offer recently?”

“Honestly? I forgot.” You expect a raised eyebrow or a glance thrown your way at the very least. “I have a life of my own, you know.” He shows no sign of emotions or annoyance.

“And so do they.” He shrugs and looks at the each store window you walk by. It’s the air within him, that rubs you the wrong way, you decide. The way he talks as if he is discussing over what to eat for breakfast when it’s lives, living breathing lives you’ve spent your whole life with that he threatens.

Exactly how many times has he done that to not care at all?

Another answer- no, a possibility, an explanation to this lies in your mind and you brush it off –or try to do so. It’s cruel, maybe not exactly but such an idea shouldn’t come to your mind so easily, no matter how… logical it sounds to be.

“What do you want me to do? What do you expect me to say? Just blindly agree?” your steps begin to get louder, more pressure applied to each one you take.

Then his voice rises, a stretched out ‘ah’comes first, “Bella, you’re making a scene,” he makes a move to drape an arm over your shoulder as you take a step forward to escape it. “-especially when you don’t even have the slightest clue what I’m asking for.” And comes back the empty tone of voice with his last words.

Few steps ahead there’s a turn you can take. You wonder if he will stop when you part ways, will he wait, walk after you to grab your arm and make you follow him again? Another voice tells you instead he will keep walking ahead, not even sparing a glance your way, already aware you’ll fall defeated to fear or curiosity only to trail after him again.

But still, the possibilities are still worth the risk, no matter how true he is to his threats, it’s better than to walk into an alley with him again.

People around walk on and continue their lives, out to enjoy the sun or to hang out after their not-so-busy lives. You don’t cross the street at the lights like you did the last time.

From the corner of your eye you peak at him but the bandages cover a good portion of his face, not that he is loose with his expressions and mimics. You focus on the walk again.

“Whatever it is, it must be something dirty, or risky, considering you’re threatening me into this.”

“Now now, don’t flatter yourself just because you have an ability. It isn’t anything big, just a small chore I don’t want to deal with.”

“From the way you talk, the list can go from taking the trash out to murder y’know…” To this, he just lets out a dry laugh. You’re unsure if it’s a good thing or not that he doesn’t even deny it.

The scenery around begins to change slowly, store by store, people by people. Maybe this is a good time to take a turn right or back, before ending up in a part of town who knows where. Nearby you spot a pot of flowers and stop as you reach it. A checkpoint, of sorts. It used be enjoyable at least, to have little checkpoints of your own on paths you took daily, on streets you weren’t familiar with. Stores, a pavement stone sticking out, a cat that sleeps in the same place all day, all to yourself, –as if a checkpoint could actually serve you as if life is a video game.

As you stop, he does too. “That’s fair.” He shrugs, “but it’s nothing big. I just want you to capture this guy by the end of tonight.”

Narrowing your eyes, you observe his face, “why, is the mighty Dazai incapable of such a simple task or does he carry an infectious disease of sorts?”

“Neither,” crossing his arms behind, he rests his head. “I just don’t feel like doing it.” Unbelievable.

It’s your turn to cross your arms this time, take a step back and balance your weight, just to say alert. “So let’s say that I agreed to this, will you get off my neck? Even if it fails?”

“Ah, bella, failure isn’t an option in your case.” You wince at nickname, again, and positive why he avoided the first question. Like it or not, getting involved in even the tiniest task would link you to the mafia somehow, an accomplice, even if he says he will leave you, there’s no guarantee someone else won’t show up. And this time with a better excuse to use, that’ll get worse for you if the said person is tortured or murdered.

“Okay, I… have a song in mind but-“ you look around and down and around and at his face again, he seems to be waiting for you to finish whatever it is you’ll say. Straightening up, you speak the next words with more confidence, no matter what, showing any signs of weakness or submission is not an option. “-even if this whole ability thing is real, I doubt it will work unless it’s night time.”

He waits there for a moment, looking more like he dozed off then considering what you’ve just said. “Alright!” he claps his hands in front of him suddenly, “I’ll be waiting by the door around 8. Don’t make me wait.” “wait!-“

Coat wavering in the air, he turns and continues walking the direction you two were following.

Your ‘How the hell am I supposed to find an excuse to get out at 8?’ waits on the tip of your tongue, his shrinking form looking more and more punchable with each passing second. Waiting a little longer to make sure he’s gone, though it isn’t important since he made it clear he knows where you reside, you begin to walk back home.

Now each word spoken, his gestures, moves and his voice start to come back at you one by one. Want it or not, you did agree to become an associate to them, even if it’s a weak link. A disposable one, easy to trace, not important enough to protect. Taking one arm off, you hold your bag in front and search for your earphones.

If you’re really going to do this, that ability thing better be working. Typing in the song title and you click play, putting it on repeat, that might help get you in the mood at least.

A dinner like any other evening, occasional chitchat mixed with the clanking of cutlery. Your cat peaks from the door frame and goes back into the living room, leaving the three of you alone. Few nods here and there, hums instead of ‘yes’ and ‘no’s.

You consider if you should try to sneak out or make up a lie to go out, though there’s no guarantee on the latter that they’ll allow. That is, until you see alcohol in the mix and stay silent, then offer once to refill their glasses and refuse “No thank you, it’s a school night after all.”

Pleased with your reply, their attention is back on talk about their day, few complaints here and there, and soon after they grow tired. Dimming the lights and burning an incense stick in a far corner of a room helps to set the mood.

“You seem tired father, why don’t you go to bed earlier tonight?” he doesn’t even loom up from his cigarette but the heavy eye lids suggest he is keen on the idea.

“Mother, didn’t you say you have an early meeting tomorrow? It’s better to sleep now and review the papers in the morning than to stay up all night.” If she suspects your sudden interest in her schedule, she doesn’t make a comment. And always being the first one to go to bed, she puts the documents into a neat pile and gets up first.

You wait for the sounds to come to an end and glance at the nearest clock. 8.05, not bad. Who is he to complain when he didn’t even bother to ask if it works for you anyway?

Tiptoing to the door and grabbing the keys, you ignore your cat’s curious gaze and grab your shoes.

Like he said, he waits 20 meters from your house.

“Ready?” he offers his arm, which you ignore.

Putting on your earphones and pressing play, you let out a breath. “Just lead the way.”

With music in your ears, the journey there goes faster.

At first you lend an ear to Dazai, seeing his mouth move, but once it’s clear he’s just babbling about some random thing, you let your focus loose and allow the tune to surround you.

Losing count on how many times the song replayed, you eye Dazai, waiting for a word on at least what you’ll do.

And as if on cue, he stops whatever nonsense he was sputtering and that tone comes out of his mouth again. You make a mental note to control your body language better in the future.

“It’s just one man, slightly taller than me, built in but not very bright. He should be easy to spot in the next turn to the left, I doubt he got company.”

Turning the volume down, you slow your steps to match his pace. “So he is just… there? Why would he even walk into a trap?”

“Oh he isn’t! But he will arrive in-“ he pulls out his phone to check the time, “-in half an hour.” as his voice starts to get more excited, not genuine like a kid’s, but fake, you get a bad feeling in his intentions –worse than before.

“What if it doesn’t work and I cannot use my ability?” you ask and immediately regret upon seeing a smile on him, as if he was waiting, –who are you kidding, of course he was waiting! “Well that sounds like a you problem, doesn’t it?” he says with a shrug.

“Good luck! I’ll be back in an hour!” he turns around and walk into a shadowed corner before you can run after him.

Eyes fixed on where he was standing a while ago, with that smile on his lips, you mutter to yourself, “What the hell…”, and turn the volume back up.

In the remaining minutes to his arrival, you’ve taken off your earphones, humming to yourself and waiting by the corner.

By the time he arrives, you watch him look around for a minute then walk into the alley with ease.

“Hello, sir! If you’re not busy at the moment, can I borrow 5 minutes of your time?” Adding a sweetness to your voice isn’t hard but he seems vary of you.

Who wouldn’t be? In the dead of the night, a high schooler appearing in an alley when they’re supposed to have a meeting.

“Oh please, it’s nothing big. You see, I’ll be auditioning for a band and I’m waiting for my friend before we go in.” You wave your hand like it’s nothing. “And though I know I’m somewhat decent, I need actual criticism from someone who won’t sugarcoat it for me. Would you like to hear me sing?”

He doesn’t look impressed, nor does he look like he wants to deal with a brat. But twisting his lips once and looking around for a sign of arrival, it’s clear he prefers to hear you once and get rid of you for good.

“Okay and before we begin, if you understand the lyrics, please don’t get any ideas. The actual theme and story of the song lies in the verse.” You flash a smile when he raises an eyebrow, maybe it was a stupid thing to say, it’s not like everyone can understand a song in a foreign language on first listen, even if they know the language.

Pulling out your phone, you press play, keeping rhythm to the beat with your foot and drum your fingers to your leg.

“I am not, I am not, I am not, I'm alive, live-” you begin singing and close your eyes for a brief moment.

Perhaps you should’ve picked a… more convenient song, instead of spending your day til dinner listening to this.

But would another one be as interesting as this to witness? It’s a hard no, of course not.

Yet this doesn’t help silence the creaking sounds from earlier leave your head. And now those mixed with the song itself, sends a shiver. Would that happen to me if I sang it in a moment of weakness?

You wait with your back to the cold wall, check the time again and like clockwork, faint footsteps reach your ears.

It’s Dazai’s face to show itself first, peaking from the street opening like your cat did today during dinner. He spots you, and him, and his expression changes suddenly.

Unsure what he thinks of this, you decide don’t want to learn it, or any other expression of his now that you’re at it. Decoding him means knowing him, to an extent, and this also means spending time with him, getting closer to him. None of which you’re eager to participate in.

As he opens his mouth to say something, you push yourself off the wall and take a step to your right to avoid colliding.

“There. I’m going home.”

Steps long and fast, you leave immediately, putting as much distance as possible. Hands into fists, moving in sync with your legs and your gaze focused ahead. It seems trip back home will go faster than it was to get here. You ignore for the night how easily you could turn your back to him and just walk.

song: Crows - Rest in Bigger Pieces Remix by Car Seat Headrest

yep, thats the full name. if u listen to it, it'll make it easier, but if u dont, here's a brief summary:

the song is written for one of will's friends, cate wurtz (for one of her webcomics) the main theme of the song and the webcomic is in the verse but lyrics beside it are references to having sex at a park at night, hence the reader telling "dont get any ideas"

[asteriismos]

five oh five - jacob thrombey

warning(s) : eighteen! jacob thrombey, ddlg, choking because it wouldn’t be an eleanor fic without it, an overuse of the word daddy pls, this is honestly just filth

authors note : anyone else think of jacob thrombey while listening to 505 by the arctic monkeys? no just me ok

words : 3k

request(s) :

imagine telling jacob ur into ddlg and he’s like “what’s that” and the reader is like “i’m baby and also ur daddy 😤😳” and he’s like ok let’s go try it out 🥴

ALSO OMG A FUCKING JACOB T FIC WHERE HE EXPERIMENTS WITH DDLG I-

it started off as an inside joke. 

when you told your friends that you were talking to jacob thrombey, they were not short of making fun of you. everyone has heard stories about jacob and all the crazy shit that he did with past girlfriends and hookups. he was infamous for being the womanizer of your private school. and what started as simple snapchats back and forth turned into exchanging numbers. you had made the mistake of leaving your phone unattended and your friend grace saw his incoming texts. 

“you are not talking to jacob thrombey!” grace exclaimed, grabbing your phone from the table and passing it along to the other girls in your group. they all looked at the text and saw the contact name as jacob, and there was only one jacob in your grade. 

you blushed, reaching to take your phone back. “so what if I am?” you said, raising an eyebrow. a blush rose to your cheeks. 

“look at that, she’s blushing. gross. she’s in love,” your other friend kelly said with a roll of her eyes. you stuck your tongue out at her and put your middle finger up. “I am not,” you said to her.

but you totally were. soon enough you were going on a date with him, and then that date turned into two and then three. you liked jacob a lot, despite his stupid twitter rants that he went on sometimes and how he always liked to piss off his parents whenever you were there for dinner. 

your friends, upon hearing the news of your new boyfriend, teased you endlessly for it. it made you laugh, but also made you want to punch them in the face sometimes when they talked about how many kinks he probably had. it was the worst when he would be sitting next to you at the lunch table and your friends would burst out laughing thinking about their conversations that you had during sleepovers. 

“he probably likes bdsm or something like that,” kelly said, taking a sip of her mug filled with tequila. your parents could care less if you and your friends were drinking at the house since they weren’t even home, but mugs were always some kind of tradition with your group. “probably makes you call him sir.”

you hit her on the shoulder, cheeks burning up in a blush. “shut up! seriously this is embarrassing.” you took a sip of the contents in your own mug and wrapped the blanket over your shoulders closer against him. 

“no, no, no. guys, you’re totally missing the obvious one : a daddy kink! thrombey definitely has that. did we guess correctly, y/n?”

you rolled your eyes. “I wouldn’t know.”

that was two days ago, since then it became some kind of inside joke between your friends. the more you thought about it, though, the more you thought about how hot it would be to call jacob daddy. there was a certain appeal to it that you desperately craved, and you were going to see if he thought the same thing. 

you haven’t had sex with him yet either. not because you were a virgin because you definitely were not, neither was him from the massive amount of rumors that surrounded him. it just hasn’t happened yet. 

you were determined to change that. 

you were walking up to jacob’s room now, since his parents weren't home a maid let you in through the front door. your footsteps echoed along the mahogany wood floors all the way to his bedroom, which was at the very end of the hallway in his house past his fathers office that laid empty. the door was closed as per usual, and you knocked three times, opening the door when you heard a small come in. 

the second jacob turned away from his homework and saw you, his face lit up, he closed his textbook and turned his chair to face you. “hey, didn’t know you were coming so soon. thought you were coming in an hour or so?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow up. smirking, he said, “not that I mind.” 

you shrugged. “I don’t know, I got bored at home and didn’t want to wait longer to see you.” 

jacob stood up, walking towards you and putting his hands on your sides. he pulled you close, your eyes flickering up to look into his own green ones. “missed me that much?” he asked in a teasing tone, leaning down and kissing you. your hands went to cup his face and kissed back, humming in content. it was hard to ignore your heart rapidly beating in your chest, you really did like him.��

you pulled away and smiled. “I guess you can say that.” jacob laughed and went to go sit at the edge of his bed, pulling out his phone and looking at the time. “well, I guess we can stay here for a while before we go out to eat then? if you want. I'll see what’s open today,” he said, scrolling through his phone. he wasn’t looking at you and you smiled to yourself. 

he was oblivious. 

you set down your bag, standing there with your arms crossed while working up the confidence to do what you were going to do. in one quick moment, you tugged your shirt up over your head, dropping it to the ground silently. he still wasn’t paying attention. you smirked and pushed down your pants, stepping out of them and that grabbed his attention. jacob sat there staring at you, eyes wide while looking over your body. you wore a black lace bra with matching panties, standing there and batting your eyelashes. 

you sauntered over to him, throwing your legs to either side of his waist and placing yourself right in his lap, face nearing his. “what are you doing?” he asked, hands going to the small of your back. his fingertips led to goosebumps on your skin, breath hitching in your throat when his lips attached onto the column of your neck. 

“hmm, nothing, just wanted to try something out,” you hummed, rolling your hips against him. he was already beginning to strain through his pants, and that led you on to go further. jacob’s face pulled away and his eyes locked on yours, asking a silent what is it? your hands reached for his face, cupping his jaw and kissing along it, teeth grazing along his soft skin. 

“I was wondering if I could call you daddy,” you muttered lowly, his eyes catching yours yet again. instead of their usual light cheery look, they were dark, filled with lust. he liked that. he liked that a lot. jacob didn’t have to say anything, since his hands on your back held you against him as he shifted your bodies. jacob was now on top of you, hips grinding against your own. your moan caught in your throat. he looked at you, ordering, “say it again.”

“daddy, please fuck me.”

he didn’t need to be asked twice.

his lips were connected to yours and his hands trailed to your hands, grabbing both of them by the wrists and pinning them up above your head. your hands strained against his own, quickly losing the battle of dominance with him and succumbing to his touch. harsh kisses were pressed along your lips to your jaw, paying special attention to that sweet spot where your jaw and neck connected. his teeth grazed along your skin, taking it into his mouth and sucking. your eyes fluttered shut, a sigh passing your lips. 

although the thought of him being completely dominant and you unable to control anything, you thought that it would be even better if you teased him. you didn’t call the shots all the time in the relationship, but you were always a little bratty when it came to following his orders. testing the waters, you pressed your hips upwards towards his, gasping at the pressure that was alleviated for just a moment. as quickly as you had been there, he let his free hand trail down and press your hips into the mattress. his other one stayed with your pinned wrists. 

“don’t be a brat, y/n,” jacob said in a condescending tone. “brats don’t get anything, and you want something, don’t you?”

you only nodded, not trusting your voice. your eyes stayed closed, feeling his kisses trail down to the valley of your breasts. your back arched up as you tried to get some kind of gratification, you needed it. you needed him so badly you thought that you just might die. jacob’s hand on your waist squeezed tightly, bringing your attention back to the present and out of the fantasies in your mind. “use your words, princess, if I wanted you to be silent I would’ve put something in your mouth.” you shivered. 

your voice wavered as you said, “I want you, daddy. please.”

“that wasn’t so hard, was it?” his hand around your wrists squeezed them, pushing them further into the bed. you stayed as still as you could for him, only moving your head to see what he was doing. you looked down and saw (and felt) that he was still paying close attention to your tits. 

jacob captured a nipple in between his teeth and he bit down just a little bit to pinch it, sending shockwaves right down south. he had you in the palm of his hand, wrapped around his fingers and he knew it. he wondered how he hadn’t succumbed to this lustful attraction before, since you guys have been dating for a while. the buildup was long, but so rewarding in this moment. 

he looked at you like you put stars in the sky. he was so immensely attracted to you, not just physically, emotionally, and that made the connection that much more powerful. it was like there was an invisible string that held you two together, not able to get that far without the constant pull. 

and while he was kissing along your tits, going from one to the other, hearing those soft gasps and moans coming from his lips - well he knew that he was going to lose it soon. this teasing game, no matter how much he loved it, didn’t account for the fact that he was almost instantly hard the second that he looked up from his phone minutes ago to see you in just skimpy lingerie

his fingers danced along your soft skin, going down, down, down until he was at your lower stomach. a finger hooked along the edge of your panties and pulled up, letting it snap back onto your skin. you jumped at the tiny impact, the pain of it turning into pleasure the second you realized how close he was to you. that same hand trailed down until he was rubbing along the wet spot, pressing down along your clit and mumbling something along the lines of so wet for daddy, but you were too busy getting lost in the sudden pleasure to really register what he had said.

“please,” you begged, your eyes staying on his face. you had a desperate need to alleviate the pressure in between your thighs. you wished that you could press them together tightly, but his hips were situated in between them, rendering that idea merely useless. you knew that he wouldn’t have stood for that anyway. 

without a second thought, your panties were being pushed to the side and he was plunging two fingers in. his index and ring, which were so much longer and thicker than yours that you weren’t expecting it. luckily you were wet enough for the discomfort to last for only a moment, pain once again being replaced for pleasure at the hands of jacob thrombey.

his fingers were curling in just the way to make your toes curl while they pumped into you. you were left writhing, feeling the grip on your wrists tighten with the more you moved. you knew that there would probably be bruises left for you to see tomorrow and shamelessly find a way to cover them, but you loved it. 

you would let jacob mark you up however he wanted to if it meant that you could feel this good. 

you were sure that by the loud moans that you were making, the people working inside of his house would be able to hear what was happening. they were smart to just turn a blind eye, since jacob would surely be royally pissed off if one of them interrupted you. 

all that slipped past your lips were his name, voice so high pitched as you ran towards that high. your legs started to tremble and close around his hips, but he just kept them open before him. jacob’s thumb pressed against your clit and that almost had you cumming, almost there. “jake, im gonna-”

everything stopped. 

jacob pulled his fingers out of you, in fact, he pulled his whole hand away from your heat, bringing it back up to caress your cheek. you could feel yourself coating his hand against your skin. you looked at him with such desperation, your throbbing, neglected pussy felt hot and deceived. the bastard. 

he kept a smirk on his face while you looked at him, feigning anger that he knew wasn’t really the case. “you don’t get to cum until I say so,” he said to you in a condescending tone, pressing your cheek. “which is soon, I promise, you’ve been a good girl for me.”

surprisingly, he let go of your wrists, using both of his hands to turn you around so that you were laying on your stomach. “push yourself up for daddy, will you?” he asked, hearing him pull off his shirt and undoing your belt. your legs were still a little wobbly while you pushed yourself up onto your knees, ass in the air just waiting for him. 

you wiggled your hips and heard him chuckle from behind you, feeling the bed shift with his weight and soon enough his hands were on your waist again. he gave you a kiss to the middle of your spine, making you tingle all over. even though he was being the dominant one, there was still emotion behind all of his touches. it made your heart warm. 

the first thrust into you almost made you slump down into the mattress, and you would have, but one of his arms slinked around your waist to keep you up on your knees. your face was pressed against the sheets, mouth wide open in a silent moan that had gotten caught in your throat. you were sensitive from his fingers, and knew that you wouldn’t be lasting too much longer, especially because he left you high and dry minutes ago. it wouldn’t be hard climbing to that peak again. 

“keep yourself up,” jacob ordered. you nodded slowly, whining as he snapped his hips against your ass, hitting a deeper spot in you. his arm left your waist, the hand connected to it came and wrapped around your throat lightly. the feeling of his fingers spreading along your delicate skin, squeezing just a little bit made you groan. the vibrations from your groan went through his fingers and he kept the pressure, hips rutting into you relentlessly. 

you were having a hard time keeping yourself up, muscles starting to strain every time his hips pushed close. but you did it, because you couldn’t really even think about it. he was hitting that spot so deep inside you, it had you moaning every time his tip pressed up against it. 

“daddy, im going to cum,” you moaned in a desperate tone. your cheeks reddened. 

jacob’s hand squeezed harder on your throat, leaning over and kissing along the back of your ear. “not yet, don’t fucking do it yet,” he said in a dark tone, sucking a hickey right behind your ear. you felt tears well up at the overstimulation, trying your best to do what he was telling you to do. you felt like you were dancing on some cloud and you were going to fall any second now. the adrenaline pumping through you, like fire coursing though your veins. 

“cum.”

and you did, your legs finally giving out and shaking, body slumping into the mattress. his hand stayed at your throat and you couldn’t just focus on one thing, your mind was going haywire. you were in a bliss, a constant euphoria that you knew you never wanted to get out of. you clenched around him with not one second after he told you that you could cum wasted. 

with a scream of his name, you rode out your high, him still thrusting in and out until he pulled all the way out. he pumped himself with his hand and soon enough he was cumming onto your back. you could feel the hot liquid on your back, dripping down, he watched it and relished in the feeling of you looking like this. 

he left the bed for just a second, just to get a towel and cleaned you up, kissing your spine again and helping you roll over. you pushed your panties back into place and he left again, still in your eyesight where he opened up one of his drawers and gave you an old t shirt of his. you accepted it gratefully, pulling it on and humming because it smelled like him. 

“I really like you,” you said to him, shifting on the bed so you were under the covers. jacob was just in his boxers now, coming to join right next to you. he felt warm and you cuddled into his chest, his arm wrapping and keeping you close. “more than just physically.”

jacob kissed the top of your head. “I like you too, y/n. but you have to call me daddy more often.” 

you hit him playfully. “don’t get your hopes up, thrombey.” 

[thiswaycomessomethingwicked]

Hello! So, I mean, this might be out of the blue, ambiguous and crazy to answer (but it's something I think about a lot, and you touched upon it in a previous ask and would love your further perspective on!) but let's say, at the end of The Return of The King, Grima lived! What do you personally think his journey and path would look like from there?

Grima asks are never out of the blue - I always want them <3 Thank you so much for asking!!

--

man ok - well Grima at the end of ROTK is in a really dark place. Frodo, Gandalf et al first run into Grima and Saruman on the road near the misty mountains as the make their slow return journey from Gondor. 

As they (Frodo, Merry, Pippin, Gandalf) came out again into the open country at sundown they overtook an old man leaning on a staff, and he was clothed in rags of grey or dirty white, and at his heels went another beggar, slouching and whining. 

[...]

‘Get up you idiot!’ he (Saruman) shouted to the other beggar, who had sat down on the ground; and he struck him with his staff. ‘Turn about! If these fine folk are going our way, then we will take another. Get on, or I’ll give you no crust for your supper!’ 

The beggar turned and slouched past whimpering: ‘Poor old Grima! Poor old Grima! Always beaten and cursed. How I hate him! I wish I could leave him!’ 

‘Then leave him!’ said Gandalf. 

a man who has never been in an abusive situation in his life, clearly. 

‘One thief deserves another,’ said Saruman (to Merry), and turned his back on Merry, and kicked Wormtongue, and went away towards the wood. 

Great guy, Saruman. 

And the famous scouring of the Shire bit that everyone on here misremembers when it comes to Grima’s whole situation: 

But Frodo said: (...) But I will not have him (Saruman) slain. It is useless to meet revenge with revenge: it will heal nothing. Go Saruman, by the speediest way!’ 

‘Worm! Worm!’ Saruman called; and out of a nearby hut came Wormtongue, crawling, almost like a dog. ‘To the road again, Worm!’ Said Saruman. ‘These fine fellows and lordlings are turning us adrift again. Come along!’ 

[Saruman tries to stab Frodo as he leaves and Sam gets ready to shank a bitch. Frodo stops him saying: ‘...He is fallen, and his cure is beyond us; but I would still spare him, in the hope that he may find it.’ ...]

He (Saruman) walked away, and the hobbits made a lane for him to pass; but their knuckles whitened as they gripped on their weapons. Wormtongue hesitated, and then followed his master. 

‘Wormtongue!’ called Frodo. ‘You need not follow him. I know of no evil you have done to me. You can rest and food here a while, until you are stronger and can go your own ways.’ 

Wormtongue halted and looked back at him, half prepared to stay. Saruman turned. ‘No evil?’ he cackled. ‘Oh no! Even when he sneaks out at night it is only to look at the stars. But did I hear someone ask where poor Lotho is hiding? You know, don’t you Worm? Will you tell them?’ 

Wormtongue cowered down and whimpered: ‘No, no!’

‘Then I will,’ said Saruman. ‘Worm killed your chief, poor little fellow, your nice little Boss. Didn’t you, Worm? Stabbed him in his sleep, I believe. Buried him, I hope; though Worm has been very hungry lately. No, Worm is not really nice. You had better leave him to me.’ 

A look of wild hate came into Wormtongue’s red eyes. ‘You told me to; you made me do it,’ he hissed. 

Saruman laughed. ‘You do what Sharkey says, always, don’t you, Worm? Well, now he says: follow!’ He kicked Wormtongue in the face as he grovelled, and turned and made off. But at that something snapped: suddenly Wormtongue rose up, drawing a hidden knife, and then with a snarl like a dog he sprang on Saruman’s back, jerked his head back, cut his throat, and with a yell ran off down the lane. Before Frodo could recover or speak a word, three hobbit-bows twanged and Wormtongue fell dead. 

A sad end to a very sad life. 

-

So that’s the canon ending, obviously. A very neat, pat ending where all the baddies are dead, everyone who is broken will disappear into an asylum and/or die take a boat to the grey havens and life will move on. 

How nice. 

-

Alright, now for the speculation! My favourite thing. 

Assuming Grima lived, god knows what his journey afterwards would look like. He’s mentally (and physically) in a bad way after having been physically (and emotionally) abused and starved by Saruman for the last year/two years. Saruman may have lost his powers, but he’s still terrifying force to be reckoned with. I don’t know how much Grima would be capable of on his own in terms of survival. 

That said, Grima’s made it this far. He’s clearly got something in him that’s keeping him alive. Something in him wants to live. It might not know how to go about doing that, but it’s there, and that’s important. 

So he’s stabbed Saruman, A+ work. The hobbits don’t shoot him. The question is then: does he take up Frodo’s offer or does his fuck off into the wilderness. 

I can see him going either direction, honestly. But I suspect, given that he’s starving and in a bad way physically, I suspect he’d stay for a time. Now, considering what’s happened to him in the general vicinity of Bagend, I’m not sure how long Grima will stay, but I do think he’d rest there for a short while. Get a proper meal or two in him. Take a bath. That sort of thing. 

From there he could go to somewhere like Bree or Dale, take up a new name/new life and try and move on, as much as a person can in a world that has absolutely no support networks for people who have gone through bad shit. 

If he stayed for a longer period with Frodo? I could see Sam putting him to work. 

‘I need someone to help me garden.’ 

‘...I know about horses?’

‘Plants are easier, trust me.’ 

‘....Are they though?’ 

Considering the fact that Grima has been dehumanized (Worm; like a dog; cur) and treated as worthless/unworthy by one of the more powerful beings in Middle Earth - and one who was once Great! Who was once wise and wonderful! I suspect he’s going to have a difficult time accepting kindness? 

Frodo, of course, would be generous and understanding, because it’s Frodo and that’s the measure of man he is. Truly one of the nicest and most forgiving and tender people in the series. 

Aragorn said of Grima that if he walked out of Orthanc alive it would be too good for him. 

(Everyone is a lot meaner in the books. Funnier, yes, but also meaner. Then there’s the weird Faramir moment where he’s all up on that “Numenorian Blood Quantum Is Important” nonsense (tell that to your brother who has no blood of the Westernese in him...) There’s a lot of Oooof moments). 

Frodo, though, Frodo is one of the genuinely kind and loving people who would never think such cruel things about anyone. 

But back to Grima, I think the line Gillian Flynn wrote about how when you’re weaned on poison, it makes kindness seem like a cruelty is very relevant here. The first step to healing is allowing yourself to admit that you deserve to be healed, that you deserve love. That’s a very hard thing to allow, to acknowledge is something you are worthy of having. 

And so it would be difficult, for him, to accept kindness and gentleness from Frodo, or anyone else. But if he was doing something to “earn” it, that might make it more palatable. 

Which is a shame, since if there is anyone who understands the power and allure of the dark lord/Saruman etc. and how that can mess you up and contort you into someone you don’t recognize anymore, it’s Frodo.

-

Would Grima go back to Rohan? I don’t think so. Unless there were some wild, unexpected circumstances that brought him there, I truly don’t see him returning home. He’s torched that bridge pretty successfully - at least, I’m sure that’s how he sees it. 

Now if he did. If something Bat Shit happened - and he went back. It would be wild and very emotional.  

A Rider of Rohan, lost in the shire: I’m looking for a Mr Baggins? I understand he might know where Gandalf is? We sort of need some magic help in Rohan. 

Hobbit: Turn left at the end of the lane, go past Grubby Harold’s llama farm, stop at the intersection with the red sign, take the third exit of the roundabout, turn right, turn left, turn left again, take the second switch back up the hill, at the crest of the hill, take the path that turns left at the big tree that someone carved Fuck Lobelia into and that should get you close. 

Rider: 

Rider: Right. 

Rider eventually shows up, Grima’s out front updating Sam on some shit that Pansy Fielding said to Fardulf Braceblower, an ongoing war that has existed since the Dawn of Time. Sam is like “Please never stop telling me all the gossip, I live for this shit.”

Frodo: How did you hear about this? 

Grima: I might have set up an informant’s network but it’s solely to trawl for entertaining gossip.  

Rider approaches: Oh dear gods. 

Grima: 

Grima: Go get fucked, Gundahar. 

Sam: Friend? 

Grima & Gundahar: No. 

Anyway. The rider tells Frodo that he’s after Gandalf because XYZ is happening in Rohan and Eomer-king is annoyed and “wants it dealt with, preferably yesterday”. Grima knows what’s up because you know, resident Spook Master also he was spending a lot of time around a lore-filled Wizard. Might as well get something for the years of mistreatment. 

Gundahar: He’s not coming back to Rohan. 

Frodo: We’re going on a road trip, Sam. Let’s get packed. 

Sam: I’m so ready for this. 

Grima: But I’m not going back to Rohan. 

Gundahar: He’s not coming back to Rohan. 

Frodo: Too late, he’s coming with us. Neither of us can be left alone for too long or we go weird in the head. 

Merry: Oh we’re going to Rohan? Well, as a member of the royal court I’m coming. 

Gundahar: .... How is this happening? 

Grima: Hobbits, they move in herds. 

Pippin: WAIT FOR ME! 

Gandalf is UPSET that he has to travel with Grima. Grima says it’s mutual. He doesn’t like wizards. Especially wizards in white. He gets weird about hoarding food when Gandalf is around. 

Grima then has to visit Theoden’s grave and have a lot of emotions about everything and it’s a Lot.

I don’t think he’d stay, though. Either he’d go back with Frodo or he might go on to Gondor or out east or something. Travel for a while. 

- 

I’ve gone off on some tangents here. Ahem. 

But in general, I see his journey going in one of two directions: one where he fucks off after murdering Saruman and takes up a life somewhere else like Bree, or wherever, probably drinks too much and is miserable until he dies. 

The other is where he accepts Frodo’s offer and either just chills in the Shire being the resident gossip-monger and mischief maker (Frodo: NO MISCHIEF. Grima: we can make a little mischief .., as a treat?) or he accepts the offer, stays for a while to get back on his feet and shake off some of the darkness, then goes off to travel around. Maybe he settles somewhere, maybe he doesn’t. Regardless if he stays or goes, it is a better ending to his life than he probably hoped for or expected. 

And it shows the power and importance of kindness and love. Healing only happens if there is love and gentleness. And it’s terrifying - of course it is - but it’s so necessary. 

-

Ok I am so sorry for my dissertation on Grima. I love talking about him so much.  

Thank you!! <3 <3 

[werezmastarbucks]

more like honeymoon [1]

stuck in the prison world together with kai, and it turns out to be awesome

kai parker x reader (ER)

word count: ~4160

warnings: mentions of suicide, suicide, graphic violence, glorification of violence

music: right in the text + darkside by iann dior and travis barker

DON’T WORRY BE HAPPY by Bobby McFerrin segment

You danced, while making sandwiches. This kitchen rocked. They had... they used to have about four hundred types of cheese.

The only thing they lacked seemed to be black bread, so you were forced to make one yourself. Kai was a bit grumpy about it since he wanted to move on to the library, and you got stuck in this hotel. He ended up going without you, while you had a go at making bread, and returned with a hip of books that he threw around in the lobby. He moved all the cozy puffed armchairs together and created a neat nest that didn’t seem to have an end, right in the middle. You were still getting used to how incredibly stylish everything was back in ‘94. The year was absolutely special to you, and you couldn’t have wished for a better year to get stuck in. The best music was already out, the fashion was on its peak, and they already thought of creating relatively skinny jeans - not the kind you enjoyed in the new world, but not the baggy horror of the eighties, either.

It’s been one month and a half that you stayed in the prison world, and it was going very well. So far, it felt to you like a long prepaid holiday with absolutely no restrictions. You were breaking into houses and raided supermarkets, you could visit any cafe and any shop, Kai changed cars every day unless it was a Chevy; maybe there was something dramatically wrong with your head, you had no way of knowing.

You were spreading California cheese on fresh, still warm slice of black bread, dancing goofily to music, and chopping tomatoes.

Kai was resting like a little birdie among the expensive cushions which you knew he’d spot with the tomatoes or the cheese, and you still brought the food out. He gasped, excited, and threw the books away, and you stuffed your faces.

Every day, which was the same day again and again, you discovered the new shades of good in him which was frankly unthinkable before. Kai Parker good; but it seemed like being back in prison either broke him completely, or, more likely, put him back into the environment he knew well. Sooner or later you work out your comfort zone; some people, spending years in imprisonment, learn to live and enjoy the place. Not because they’re weak, but because it’s a survival instinct. Kai’s survival instinct was unbelievably strong.

You listened to music and traveled, and every day you asked yourself when the horror will settle in, and it still didn’t. Looked like, with the right company, and the whole world to explore, the magical prison world could seem like a resort.

COME WITH ME by Phil Collins segment

You were standing on the edge of the Canyon. Kai was holding your hand, clearly thinking about something.

“I can’t believe you’ve never been here before”, he muttered.

You were considering other things.

“Where’s the path again?”

“Right there, where the river turns. There’s a narrow way between the rocks that leads up”.

He looked at you. The sun was slowly going up, climbing over the red mountains, coloring them in insane shades.

“We don’t have to do it, if you’re afraid”.

His face gave a mocking expression as he squeezed your hand lightly.

“I’m not afraid”.

“Then just do it. I gotta say, the first thing I’ll do when we get out, I will marry you”.

You got distracted from your thoughts by this. You looked at him. The rising sun was coloring him, too. Kai had that kind of face which you always wanted to hold. It was just so... holdable.

“You fucking with me?”

He shook his head with a smile.

“No. This place doesn’t even feel like a prison anymore. I love it. Because of you”.

Of course he loved it. He had the whole planet at his disposal, but he wasn’t alone anymore. He still had magic from the merge, and he was high and lovestruck. He was about to jump from the Grand Canyon and fall to death, and then come back and continue his journey.

You’d asked him before which way to die was the most painful. This was about to be your first time dying. Before that, you only witnessed people die.

He said being crashed by a car slowly was probably objectively the most painful. He has never set himself on fire because he wasn’t crazy.

The irony completely escaped him.

Feeling your joints tear, and bones shatter, and all, that’s the worst. But psychologically, suicide was scarier. Knowing that it’s your own hands doing that. Falling from a height like that, there was danger of breaking something and staying alive for a fragment of a second, being horrified by the violent collision with the sharp pieces of rocks, but you wouldn’t probably even notice. Jumping from the Canyon was your idea, and that was why he got so inspired.

You looked at each other. Dying together is fucking symbolic, and this world rocked. For a second there you thought, even if you didn’t know you would resurrect, you would still jump, as long as his hand was holding yours.

You interlocked your fingers not to lose each other too soon, and hopped down. The air whistled and howled in your ears as you fell down. It’s nothing like flying, you thought with disappointment. And too fast, as well. You see nothing but the racing red stone. The feeling of being free is still good, until you crash into the first step of the hard mountain, crushing your skull in several pieces.

The Grand Canyon didn’t hear you two die, it was too big.

It took you the whole day to get out, but it was okay because the next day was the same again.

HEARTS IN FLAMES by Red 7 segment

And the next one. And the next. You discovered something you kinda know, but can’t fathom completely until you actually go there: on the other side of the world, it began with night, because it was the eleventh of May after midnight. Somewhere, the time was going further, and somewhere it was slower.

You rode down the long sandy and stone roads in the deserts, and sped as much as you could, not afraid to crash. You ate at any place you wanted to, Kai showed you the ‘secret’ recipe of making the McDonald’s fries, and he cooked it so well you didn’t see any difference. The process looked disgusting, and you knew, once you got out, you’d never go to McDonald’s again.

Once we get out became a kind of a proverb, a catchphrase you used, hopeful and indefinite, and light-hearted. Neither of you really suffered or felt confined in here; you didn’t know when you’d get out, really, because this time the Mystic Falls gang seemingly made sure Kai never has a chance to walk the earth again. You were just there when they tried to send him away, and you wouldn’t have it.

There are several most important moments in a person’s life, and you knew, in a weird way, that was when you and him got absoultely, ultimately connected. It was your chance to stand up for him for once, and, more importantly, to show him that there is somebody after all who refuses to give up on Malachai. So they sent you away, too. Clutching hands together, as you held his open wound, because Kai kicked and bit better than anybody else you knew, and they had to stab him first, you flew away in a tunnel of white light, didn’t feel anything, and it was ‘94 again.

Once we get out had all kinds of plans you weren’t sure you’d fulfill. Like marrying, and getting a car, and moving away from Mystic Falls. Settling down in New Orleans was yours, and burning New Orleans down to the ground was his, because he didn’t want to live there.

Once we get out was a point in the future very vague and distant, because, three months since you landed in the front lawn of the Salvatore mansion in the past, you had only a spell that was useless without Bennett blood. Somebody, whoever hid the spell, overestimated its importance hugely, and went a very hard way to secure it. Kai found it in Florence, of all places. He couldn’t speak any Italian, and your saying you’re fluent in French only made him chuckle with adoration. Do not let it fool you, his adoring chuckle only meant he thought you were a silly creature. French is no use because it’s Italy, bella, he said. Your ass started arguing that a lot is similar in the languages, and he shut you out with jokes. Then went into the library. You preferred to spend time in the streets, cruising around and remembering everything Anne Rice used to write into them.

The spell was scribbled on the piece of yellow paper and put into The Name of Rose. The backup spell which allegedly could go round the whole blood routine. Kai tried it and nothing happened. You weren’t even that sorry, and you both looked at each other long, promising you would keep looking. But honestly...

The whole world. It was yours.

YOU GOT IT by Roy Orbison segment

You had to carry a big bag with you now with the clothes you ‘stole’ from shops because, even though you could change every day, there were still a couple of things you refused to let go of. Kai was trying to teach you to travel light, but the whole life spent in a usual world still had a hold on you.

You realized you liked sweet life, you liked staying at the big houses where the rich people of ‘94 used to live, with all the rich things they had. The pools were the same, and the mini bars, too. May was warm and sunny, especially so in warm and tropical places, and only in Madrid it constantly rained, again and again.

You realized you still had an overall petrifying respect for the pieces of art, but the prison world was an amazing chance to push your limits. Whatever you destroyed, returned back on its place the next day, because it was the same day. You watched Kai swing a bat at Venus herself. The poor gal didn’t have arms for all you knew. He had no mercy for her. Everything here was like a video game. Kai only did it to show you what it feels like. It seemed like he was determined to use this opportunity to make you completely liberate yourself, but something had a hold on him, too.

You danced a lot, you found it especially romantic to dance in the dim lights of the evening in the hotel lobbies. You could choose anything, anywhere, and yet, so it happened that when you finally got tired of traveling non-stop, you found yourselves in Las Vegas. Kai said, awesome, this city has the best hotels. You really doubted that.

But nothing was better than dancing with him, foreheads touching, in the empty, well-furnished space of the Cesar Palace, and sing to each other. Without other people constantly interrupting, the time and schedules, other faces triggering hatred or anxiety in him, it became so easy to just be with each other. You were high on the free wealth, the opportunities this empty planet provided. You had no idea how much Kai was really enjoying it.

The feeling of closeness was overwhelming, even you felt that. Sometimes you wouldn’t be able to let go of each other for days; Kai kept his journal he understandably abandoned once he got out of here the first time. Now, it was its second go. By the time you have finally had sex to every single song in your 576 songs playlist, it’s been seven months in the prison world.

Las Vegas was cool but it was a desert. However, the desert was simply magical at the end of the day, when the heat settled down, and the dense air cooled a little. You’d drive down the avenues of the empty city to look at the dark and lit buildings. Some of them looked occupied, but there was nobody. You never understood what determined which windows were lit.

CLOSE TO YOU by Maxi Priest segment

“Sometimes I was thinking about killing you”.

You’d be more surprised if Kai had never thought of it. When you love someone, you think about killing them constantly. The one option you never tried before left, which is an absolute no go. The forbidden apple of relationship, the ultimate joy of possession, feeling as the life drains from the one you love. You wondered if it would be scarier than jumping off the Canyon if he killed you. You didn’t know if that was Kai poisoning your mind already, or it was what made you two click in the first place.

“Now you have the chance”, you said. He looked a you, cocking his head, and examined you as if trying to understand if you’re joking.

“You want me to kill you?”

Uttering it was still a little bit too much. You were nervous about falling down that rabbit hole where the whole pushing the borders experiment turns into bloody twisted chaos, and you end up like the children from Gummo. Senseless, pointless violence, filthy, dictated only by lust or ignorance. Kai was far from that still. He was essentially hurt and curious, not filthy. He was bold in the ways he professed his violence. But there’s always this danger of going too far and not being able to pick yourself up anymore.

“I mean, it would be good for you. You know what your cravings do to you if you don’t let the steam off from time to time. Now you can kill me safely and close that door”.

He was thinking about it quietly.

“I’m not interested in hurting you anymore”.

It sounded like a song.

But he listened to you, and listened well.

“By the way, if I can kill you, then you can kill me, too”.

Your head snapped towards him.

“I know you”, he chuckled, “you always wanted blood. But you’ve never killed anybody, have you?”

You shook your head no. Kai was like a serpent playing disinterest, but you could see the tip of his tongue split two ways, showing through his sharp teeth as he spoke.

“It’s a changing experience. Nothing quite like it, a good exercise”.

“Did you actually enjoy hurting others?”

“It felt necessary”, he said simply. “I woud die if I didn’t. Better them than me”.

You looked at him blinking slowly. He was a textbook killer you’ve read about millions of times. The philosophical question of whether that darkness that pushes them towards violence has the bottom and end was still unanswered in the future. You yourself had some gems of unanswered mysteries inside of you. Why were you so attracted to this boy, what made you want to stick with him so much? Why this obsession with being the only one who cares for him? Momma complex much? The saint redeemer? He was just so so cute and murderous and that was it. Maybe you did come from a completely cursed generation after all.

“How would you do it?” Kai asked. You were sitting on the porch of a suburbs house you chose to squat in by the way. It was your ‘pretending like you’re middle class’ week.

“Stab you”, you replied, without thinking. “You?”

“I’ll choke you”, he responded, looking at you. You noted how he didn’t use the conditional, but the future. He has made his mind up.

He took his time, though, trying to intrigue, or unnerve you, perhaps. It’s been about two weeks, or even a month, and you almost thought he forgot about it, which wouldn’t be atypical of him. His thoughts were all over the place.

You really loved this house, resembling any house from a 90s sitcom, with that big family couch in the living room which had the way right into the kitchen.

You finished doing the dishes and put the last plates away. Kai usually cooked, and you did the cleaning, all was fair. He appeared silently, wrapping his hands around your waist, and distracted you with heated kisses. They were heated literally, like he had a fever; you turned to feel his skin, and drowned in the kiss. You felt the itchy hot wave coming up, as his hands slid down your hips, and suddenly, his fingers were on your throat. He broke the kiss, leaving your mouth open, and the next second his face was cold, eyes black like two pieces of coal and you recognized that old Kai whom you met at the Grill. While he was still pretending to be fun, pretending to be nice, before you two got together.

His palms closed on your neck and your brain went in overrun. A part of you knew that was something you had discussed beforehand, and he even chose the right time, just after the sunset, when the kitchen was only lit by the pink-scarlet cloud light. A part of you, the more physical chunk, started fighting him, and the air got blocked out from your throat. The feeling of your own cartilage pressing on your artery was one of the most disgusting types of pain you’ve ever experienced. Your hands flew up, slapping his face, but he could as well be made of stone. The murderousness of Kai Parker was unmatched. Like a bulldog, once he closed his clutch, there was only one way it’d end.

Slowly, as you suffocated, blood throbbing in your eyes, he laid you down, while the darkness was consuming you. Damn, it’s taking so long, you thought with a grudge. You’ll definitely kill this dick back. You knew choking someone takes minutes, but these minutes feel like agonizing hours when it’s you being choked. Just relax and try to enjoy it, your mind said, and you suffocated even further on the inner dying laughter. Your hands were shaking violently as they grabbed his, and you wiggled on the floor. He shook you once, banging the back of your head on the tiles, and you almost blacked out. Your body bent out towards his in a fake desire motion. He put his knee on your stomach to keep you in place and pressed further and you died slowly, confused the hell out, in pain, and a little but irritated.

IKO IKO by The Belle Stars segment

You stood there, looking at the row of knives. A song from the future got stuck in your head, where there were lyrics that went,

that you’ll love me more when I’m dead

Your overall mood has not changed. It was just so good to be together, all the time, like a long, magical [sic!] honeymoon. You did not argue. You weren’t upset. Sometimes you’d get slightly disappointed, entering supermarkets, like this one, and expecting people to be there. After all, you have spent a huge chunk of your life... well, all your life, surrounded by other people.

It was another side of good though, knowing, that Kai is the only other one here. He joked a lot about ‘the last girl on Earth’. He was extremely romantic about it.

One of the knives laid in your palm obediently. It was beautiful: short stirdy grey handle, and the sharp broad blade. You could almost see your own reflection in its perfectly clean steel. There’s something about knives. Something about their inevitability, their thinness. You weighed it in your hand, completely mesmerized. You liked knives and was always the one to chop all the food before Kai could cook it. You were the Chopper in this... family?

You turned to look at him, the tall, lean frame, his black as hell head cocked on the side as he was reading something on a pack of nuts. He never read anything from the packs, so you found it curious. What were you calling yourselves? He was like that demon who slides from below your bed and you hold its cold paw in the dark, questioning, what are we?

The way he looked at you, it really felt like he has reached the end of his path in searching. You’ve never seen him so calm before. And vice versa, he was the only one who ever made you feel like that. It was a unit. He never once called you his girlfriend, and it was different. You never spoke about it, except that one time on the Canyon when he said he’d marry you. He looked very sure about it, but, knowing him, you didn’t think much of it. It was one of the things you’d do once you get out...

You walked up to Kai, and as he turned to you, about to show you something that got him so interested in a plain pack of nuts, you stabbed him in the side of his body.

Kai gasped gently, like it was more of a kick, and, unsure if you’re applying enough force, you pressed further.

His hand didn’t even get down to stop you. Unlike you, he didn’t even begin fighting you. He shot you a short glance, and there was nothing but curiousity in his eyes. He’s died thousands of times. It was horrible to think about it, but he was used to this kind of pain. You asked yourself why you’re hurting him, of all people, but it was cold math. You had to get even, because that’s what you had both decided. Plus, once the blade was inside of him, you couldn’t stop yourself.

You stabbed him again, as he grabbed on a shelf no try and stay on his feet. The second hit went right into his abdomen, and you wondered at the thickness of his stomach; being an innocent child before, you believed that a human body would be like butter, since a knife is sharp and extremely thin. It turned out to be a bit harder than you expected.

Kai fell down and laid on his back, putting his hands aside. You suddenly realized, with bursting heart, that you were the only one person in any world that he allowed to kill him and didn’t even struggle. It was the ultimate demonstration of trust, better than any kind of I love you. The best thing he could ever do.

You sat on top of him, stabbing him again and again, trying different spots. The side proved to be the most vulnerable, and the chest was the hardest to break through because of the ribcage. When the blade got stuck against the bone, Kai was already dead, and your elbow hurt. No matter how much you climbed and how much heavy stuff you carried here, you weren’t becoming stronger, because one day’s excercise does nothing.

The blood was splattering onto his face and yours, and then you got tired, and horror finally seized you. At some point you stopped being curious, and became enraged for no reason, stabbing him blindly, just because he was good being stabbed.

You stopped, panting, and looked into his white face with his eyes open, turned away, drops of his own blood on his chin. Your hands were red as you touched his open wounds, and your own stomach seemed to have sucked on itself with fear.

Why did I do this? What does he like so much about it?

You knew for sure he’d come back. There was no reason for him not to resurrect. But the irrational nervousness grabbed you. You took his chin and turned his face up, looking at him.

I love you so much, and I don’t know why I did it.

His blood was warm and salty. It went well with bubblegum ice cream.

You had no idea that it was invented SUCH a long time ago. You had no hope to find it in ‘94 and felt like an idiot, but a happy one.

You sat on the floor two steps away from him and stress-devoured ice cream for an hour until he finally woke up.

Kai groaned and attempted to get up, lifting his head and looking at the high ceiling for a moment. He then rolled to his side and lifted himself up on an elbow.

“How did it feel?” he went straight to the point.

“Good at first, but then horrible. I think I went a little overboard. I stabbed you about twenty times”.

“I always knew there was something deeply, fundamentally wrong with you”, he said with tenderness. He got up and crawled up to you, attracted by the sight of the half-empty bucket of ice cream.

“I don’t wanna do this anymore”, you said, and felt lonely for a second. “I didn’t really enjoy neither the first nor the second time”.

“Each to his own, I guess”, Kai shrugged, and opened his mouth. You shoved a spoonful into it.

[twistinghearts]

Hi! Can i please request a fluffy/ funny imagine with Malleus X fem mc who wants to talk to him/ ask him out and approach him but ends up either embarrassing herself (tripping over/ biting her tongue) or stalking him(not in a creepy way just tailing him to find a way to talk to him)? Thanks a lot:)

How does one talk to a boy? Especially when that boy was status wise way out of your league, way out of your height zone, a little bit scary and never alone! Talking to people first was never your strong suit and it felt like everything about Malleus made it even harder to approach him. Yet you still wanted to, you wanted him to know how you felt, how he was constantly on your mind. It might be the only way to get him off it. You told yourself the next time you spotted him alone you would approach him. 

It didn’t take too long  for you to find him one day participating in his club activities. While you weren’t planning to back down, it did take you a little while to work up the courage so you simply followed him for a bit; being sneaky of course. It wouldn’t end well if he spotted you before you were ready. Just as you were about to pop out of the tree you were hiding behind you felt someone pull you to the ground. “Why are you following Malleus-sama! What are you planning! Out with it!” Sebek shouted, as he always did. “I-i- jus-st.. w-well…” You stuttered out, basically shaking. You were so close, why did he have to yell at you too. You didn’t even get a chance to do anything!  “Look over there!” You yelled, pointing in a direction. Sebek’s head turned and you scrambled away, running full speed all the way back to your dorm. It didn’t seem like he followed you. 

It took about a week for Sebek to stop glaring you down anytime he noticed your presence. You were grateful he didn’t push for information about what happened. You could only hope he hadn’t told Malleus either.  Now that Sebek was less agitated you decided to try again, this time waiting for a moment when Malleus was alone with Silver. You spotted them one day tucked away in the corner of the library, and decided it was the perfect time to make a move. Clutching your books tightly to your chest you strolled over, a bit of excitement boiling inside you put a spring in your step. A bit too much of a spring as your bouncy walking caused your chin to smack into the top of the textbook you clung too, your tongue getting pinched between your teeth in the process. You let out a gasp from the pain, but you could still do this. “Helow” 

Oh no. 

The sleepy knight shifted, sitting up straighter to try and seem more alert. “Do you need something?” He asked, as Malleus raised is head. “If you’re going to ask for me to grab a book off the top shelf the answer is no. I’m trying to study.” He had enjoyed the attention at first but now it was just a nuisance. “Noo, noo… I juth wanned to s-sawy… I liewk yowr… ah.” You started but between the shaking of your voice and the slurred speech from your hurt tongue neither were able to understand you. Silver rose a brow glancing from you to Malleus. “You’ll need to come back another time… we’re studying.” Silver stated hoping you would leave. He felt a little bad but it was a job to keep people from bothering the young master. Despite how it shattered your courage to hear that, it was probably for the best. “S-sowwy..” You gave a bow before scurrying off once again defeated. 

With two attempts down, maybe the third one would be the charm? You figured out by this point that talking wasn’t your thing so you decided to try a different approach and confess in a love letter! It took you a while to write it, after all it had to convey your feelings, but you also didn’t want it to sound too desperate or be too personal since his guards might read it. Finally it was done, a lovely handwritten letter on some light green paper. You even doodled a little gargoyle, bat looking creature and some hearts on it. Now the next step was to deliver it. You didn’t think you could work up the courage to approach him directly and have it go wrong again, so you decided to leave it on his desk to see. With the professor's permission you left the letter on the desk and left to go to your own class. You returned later that day to ask Trein what happened, “Yes, Lilia picked up the letter.   He seemed quite pleased when reading it… I wish you the best of luck however do not let your relationship get in the way of your studies.” You honestly didn’t fully process the second half of what Trein said. Lilia picked up the letter… you got the wrong desk so LILIA got your love note. You wanted to die all over again, of course you hadn’t written a name on the envelope. Now you absolutely had to avoid them… now that Lilia knew your feelings, and you had upset his other retainers. 

Well you could still love Malleus in your heart… this was fine.... 

The next time you encountered the Diasomnia crew was one day at lunch, and it wouldn’t have been an encounter if you hadn’t tripped on something right in front of their table! “Oh no! Are you okay hun?” Lilia’s voice called out, as he moved his leg back under the table. “Malleus, will you take them to the infirmary?” You remained frozen on the floor at Lilia’s suggestion. Maybe if you were still enough you would just disappear. “No, the young master should not be troubled with such things. Silver can-” Sebek started. “No.” Lilia answered coldly. “This is a good opportunity to show your kind side and bond with a fellow classmate.”  Noting how determined Lilia seemed about this Malleus agreed and lifted you from the floor. Before you could protest you felt Lilia tuck your hair behind your ear and whisper, “Don’t protest. This is your chance to tell him how you feel.” He gave a wink as he pulled back and finished dusting some of the food off you. “You look rather faint. You can lean on me.” Malleus offered, his arm slipping around you as the two of you headed off. 

It was a long quiet walk as there was not much to say, besides your heart was beating too loud for you to think. You were sure he could hear it. “Thank you… for walking me.” You muttered as you finally got to the door. “Of course. Lilia seemed insistent on it after all.” Twiddling your thumbs. You didn’t want him to go just yet but there was no reason for him to stay.

“You have something you wish to tell me don’t you?” Malleus crossed his arms, “We cannot be interrupted now after all.” 

How did he know? Well then again your failed attempts kind of gave it away. “I do… Malleus.. I…” You took a deep breath before raising your head and summoning all your courage you yelled. “I REALLY LIKE YOU MALLEUS!!” 

There he had to have heard that, you did it! However Malleus just stared at you blankly as if he hadn’t heard a thing. Did he not hear you somehow? Or worse was he simply unimpressed with your confession and all hope of being with him was gone? You felt like you were about to cry everything was working against you wasn’t it. Before the tears in your eyes could spill over you felt his hand rest upon your head a soft smile on his face as he looked down at you. “I was merely teasing, little one. Fufu~ I heard you just fine.” You couldn’t help but start crying anyway, and so Malleus just held you until you were ready to hear his answer. 

[mc-doppomine]

Day 20 Bonus: Bad Ass Temple vs Matenrou

I’m just going in order of the battle dates at this point. And I’m just going to go from the music to the character stuff again because I feel it would just get long again. Look, I wanted to go for Bad Ass Temple. Sometimes you want to hope for an underdog. However when it comes to style...I just couldn’t get into BAT as much. Which is a shame because they have the same foundation of their team as MTR and going in the fight a similar way. But in terms of the individual songs, they’re actually pretty even. I didn’t have many songs that I really liked from either side besides One, Two, Law and Black or White. 

I feel this is also the time that I have to say, with music a lot of the time, I’m basing it only as music. It’s lyrics and the like are secondary and mainly used to like inch any song forward if I was truly stuck. So sound wise, it’s been all over the place. Between having flashbacks to high school with Jyushi and feel like I’m being taken to church by Jakurai...it’s been a time. But of course the ones I like are the ones that are ultimately the ones about more mundane stuff I guess? 

And with the group songs...I had to grow to like Kaigen. It’s just a personal thing with slow build up songs, I don’t usually have patience for them which is why I usually like fast paced songs over ballads (there’s always exceptions). But when you get to it though, it is good. I won’t deny that. (Yosh, Jyushi part and then him going off, is such a fuck yeah moment!) Well, Kirei, Kaigen is more fast paced than Tomoshibi, what gives? There’s always exceptions. One is that Tomoshibi doesn’t have as slow a build and that it caught my heart without me knowing what’s going on. Like a lot of my initially crying over Tomoshibi was over how it SOUNDS, not their lyrics. Also it’s slow but not ballad slow. 

Which then brought us to the actual battle. And they would not make us wait. I was gut punched when they let Jakurai and Hitoya go from right out the gate. Anyone else notice how they mirrored each other’s final line of defeating the other with everything they have? Shivers! I initially wondered why these two were put together to fight but it makes sense after Light & Shadow because they have essentially the same ultimate desire of finding safety and growth with their teams but how they go about it is very different. Neither of them are wrong but it’s a matter of the clash between those difference. 

If I had one thing that threw me so thoroughly in this battle though was Hitoya. Like I bet he was the real threat of BAT and I don’t feel I was wrong. But his angle was way different from what I was expecting. Like it seemed like his perspective changed before the 2nd DRB happened. Which ends up coming up really strange, at least for me, in this battle. Because HE is the one that initiated a fight with MTR by challenging Jakurai and was determined to take him down. Not that he still isn’t but he’s already had his chance of reflecting and changed why he’s fighting Jakurai from wanting to drag him down from his high horse to wanting to do this as a challenge against himself. Which isn’t bad, it just makes for a strange dynamic when it felt like it was set up for settling this grudge and he settled it himself before even getting on stage. 

As for the rest of the battle, I don’t have as many memorable lines as they go so fast in this one. It’s a lot easier to lose them but considering this track was designed like a final boss encounter, I guess that’s to be expected. But overall...I just felt like Kuko and Jyushi were too...not that they didn’t take it serious but too green to this kind of scene? Like it reminds me of Jiro and Saburo in War War War except I think Kuko and Jyushi delivered some great lines such as ‘you’ve been so shaved off by society, there’s nothing left of you.’ But they also didn’t seem to hit with me? Although I guess there is a small bias there as like...I feel weird hearing them say ‘middle-aged men’ when I’m not that much younger than Hifumi or Doppo. And know that it’s really not that old...it reminds me of my younger sister.

Lyric wise, it felt like they were fighting two completely different ways and I don’t know how it worked out honestly for me. Like I’m really glad for the sound because a lot of it...wasn’t nonsensical but just didn’t feel like they were going at the same thing. Like MTR didn’t even seem to really focus on beating down on their opponents whereas BAT did. And it makes for such a weird confrontation. So I basically defaulted to what I usually do with the music and go with how I feel from the music and I felt MTR through it. To me, I felt more passion from their delivery and also I’d be lying if I I was living through Hifumi’s haughty laugh, Kuko’s roll of words and Doppo’s screaming (how does Itou-san do it???). 

So yeah, MTR got me with music. 

I said I did the character thing because it’d be shorter to do the music...I didn’t realize I had to so much to say about the music until I was writing. I’m so sorry that this just ends up being super long as I add the character/story aspects...which honestly I guess would be shorter because in the grand scheme both BAT and MTR just have a lot less to lose of going against other teams. Which could be argued is their charm but I don’t know if that alone could save them from future shenanigans to happen in this DRB. But let’s get to the team stuff

BAT vs DH would have to be the most even chance music wise for both teams because they’re new to this battle season. Although I am absolutely terrified of what kind of sound would come from mixing their sounds together. I’m sure all the talented folks behind the DRB music can do it...I just can’t imagine it. I can’t really think of the conflicts here since for the most part they don’t know each other outside of Kuko and Sasara being in MCD for a time. 

BAT vs BB would be a chance to make the ‘koi yo Bad Ass,’ ‘Ou yo Bus Bros’ from Division Battle Anthem+ come true. I’ve hung onto that direct call out since I’ve heard it. There should be answers to their fall out. Ichiro didn’t forget it and feels like Kuko had to have some kind of revelation with it. This would be the chance to resolve this. Meanwhile I also entertain that this iust good hearted fun of like Ichiro, Kuko, Jyushi and Jiro all being around the same age and just being boys having fun. All the while, Hitoya is groaning as he pulls out another set of adoption papers. 

BAT vs FP...I can’t think of anything really since they haven’t had any real connection outside of Ramuda--and I think it was OUR Ramuda--thinking Kuko was too irrelevant for his plans. What a kick that’d be for Kuko to be like ‘so, I heard you were talking shit!’ 

BAT vs MTC, I also have a problem seeing as much of an issue. Outside of Hitoya trying to not have a whole ass conniption. He needs to bring like most of these bastards to court. And also dadtoya because he would not want to drag Kuko and Jyushi around these guys. I fear of Jyuto eating Jyushi alive. Although there could be a slight chance of anger from Samatoki towards Kuko because he’s one of the few people that know the extent of Kuko’s abrupt departure left with Ichiro and even if he doesn’t forgive Ichiro, I don’t think that erases that nasty taste in his mouth. 

And then to reverse around with MTR vs DH, I still think of it being more light-hearted of Hifumi and Doppo being like an accidental rival manzai to Sasara and Rosho. And just ending up petty over it. Watch Hifumi insult Sasara’s suit, ohmygod Hifumi can you not--And meanwhile I’m pretty sure Rei knows that Chuuoku is trying to use Jakurai’s rap ability and I can’t tell if he’s interested in how it goes or if he’d stop it. Because Rei I feel has less hesitance in doing extremes to eliminate what’s in his way. Be that incapacitating Jakurai’s ability or Jakurai himself or ruining Jakurai in a way that he can’t help...that’s all doesn’t seem outside the realm of possibility for Rei to me. 

MTR vs BB would also be a lighter affair as it just seems like bros just going against each other as I don’t know, I think MTR has a softer spot for BB than all the other teams. And to BB it’s like going against dad because I will die on the dadkurai hill. 

MTR vs MTC is rematch REMATCH. DEATH RESPECT PART II. Let’s get it. But yeah outside of sore feelings from last time, I don’t think it’d be as bad as last time. It’s really a ‘nothing personal but you’re in my way’ sort of thing. There is a meeting for the anti-Honobono club that goes on, maybe? Maybe there could be some bad blood if Samatoki knew about Jakurai thinking of helping Chuuoku with perfecting the thing that, at least for a long time in his head, took Nemu from him. 

But unsurprisingly most that would happen is if they did MTR vs FP. Because on one hand, it’s a REMATCH and one I’d personally love because their rap battle was my favorite. But they have the most story threads. I glossed it in the previous but it’s a chance for collaboration or using the other team if Honobono came up. Such as FP throwing MTR at her to distract her from getting Ramuda. They’re cutthroat enough to do it. Or if they could see past their rivalry and work together to save both of their sides from this mutual threat. I think this would be a time for Ramuda and Jakurai to REALLY go at each other. 

Because despite their disdain of each other, I don’t think they hate each other as they like to proclaim. Chuuoku seems to know this feeling on Jakurai’s end as they dangle Ramuda’s well-being in front of him time and time again. Even if he can’t get along with Ramuda, he sure as fuck doesn’t want him DEAD. And it seems to get forgotten but Ramuda IS Jakurai’s MENTOR, the person that taught him to survive in the new direction of the world. Even if this was orchestrated, that bond still exists. And it’s not one-sided because I can’t imagine Ramuda being pleased with Jakurai willingly going with the bitches that made his life hell. He’d be pissed as to how Jakurai could roll over to them (as he might perceive) and his effort to keep Jakurai from them failing. 

Phew...done...with the thing. But yeah in terms of like story/character....mmm, yeah that would have to go to MTR too. I really don’t feel like it’s BAT fault. I just think they’re at a disadvantage for coming new to a battle season. 

[bowsie22]

Pingxie Week 2021 Day 2

Summary: For a city with such a high rate of criminal activity, Wu Xie has always been safe. Now if only he could figure out why? Photography student Wu Xie/Triad leader Xiaoge

It was weird. Despite being open for eight months, Wushanju had never been robbed. The stores around it had all been robbed multiple times in that period. He’d never been attacked on the street, despite multiple robberies happening every day. Pangzi put it down to Wu Xie’s stupid luck, but Wu Xie thought it was weird. Anytime he was cornered, or a Triad member came into the shop for their protection money, there was always a moment. A moment where the men would stare at him like they knew him from somewhere and they’d run. Literally run from him like bats out of hell. It made no sense. And he knew it was a weird thing to be upset by, but he was.

Which led to now. Wu Xie, in a moment of stupidity, decided to go into the city at night to complete one of his final projects for a photography class. Sure, he had his own store/gallery/studio, but that was more due to his uncles making sure he could look after himself. And to a lesser extent, Pangzi. But he still had to finish college, no matter what Sanxing said. And after taking his two-year break, possibly due to an emotional and mental breakdown after the disappearance of the love of his life, Wu Xie was more determined than ever to ace his courses and make his uncles proud. And again, to a lesser extent, Pangzi.

Hence the moment of stupidity. While the city was beautiful at night, it was also dangerous. Especially for someone was still trying to get himself back to full health after the aforementioned disappearance. Not that Wu Xie couldn’t defend himself. He had learned something from Heiye and Pangzi.

So, he wasn’t too nervous about being followed by the two men creeping behind him. Honestly, they weren’t subtle. He wasn’t surprised by the bruising grip on his wrist, as the men pulled him into an alleyway, slamming him against the wall. Wu Xie groaned as his head bounced off the wall, attacker one holding him against the wall, attacker two standing in the mouth of the alleyway, cutting off any escape attempt.

“Ok, suppose my luck had to run out sooner or later.”

Pangzi always said that his sarcasm would hurt him. Never mentioned a mugger slapping him around the face though. Spitting out the blood, Wu Xie realised a second too late that he should have aimed away from the expensive looking shoes.

“You little bitch.”

A punch to the gut had Wu Xie gasping for air, the one to the back of his head had him on the ground and the following kicks to his stomach and chest had him spitting up more blood. Typical. The first time he gets robbed and he’s going to get murdered too. Attacker one grabbed his hair, forcing Wu Xie to his knees. That was a knife against his throat. Oh God, he was really going to die here.

“Whatever you’re doing, make it quick. Traffic is starting to pick up.”

At those words, a car drove past, Wu Xie wincing as the lights shone in his eyes.

“Shit!”

He was thrown to the ground, the two men backing away from him. Looking up, Wu Xie could make out the scales tattooed on their necks meaning that they were from the Zhang Clan. Shit, why were the Triad attacking him, he thought robbery was a bit beneath them? More concerning, why weren’t they doing anything anymore? The two were staring at him, wide eyed and pale. Wait a minute, why were they scared? They were the ones who attacked him!

“Shit, it’s him. We’re not meant to touch him. He’s going to kill us!”

“No, he’s going to torture us and kill us in the most painful way possible. The top of the list. The one person in this city, this country that you are not meant to touch and you chose him!”

“We were behind him! It’s not like we were given a picture of his ass! Look, don’t worry I know what to do.”

Wu Xie had a head injury. That was the only explanation for attacker one to slip a business card into his pocket and beg him to visit their boss and explain that this was all just some terrible mistake. What kind of self-respecting Triad member did that? Reaching for his phone, Wu Xie decided that it would be a tomorrow problem. Right now, he needed to contact Pangzi and make sure neither uncle heard about this.

“Are you serious? No!”

Pangzi swiped the card from his friend’s hand, glaring at the younger man.

“Like hell you are walking into a Triad building. To do what? Speak to the boss, demand reparations of some kind?”

“Of course not Pangzi. I just want to know what happened last night.”

“You didn’t hit your head that hard Tianzhen. You got attacked last night and had to be treated for bruised ribs, a sprained wrist and get stitches on that head wound.”

“I know all that. I meant after that.”

“After that you were concussed and probably imagining things!”

“So, I imagined that business card into reality?”

Groaning, Pangzi dropped the card in front of Wu Xie, recognising the stubborn pout on Wu Xie’s lips.

“There’s nothing I can say is there?”

“You can say that you’ll drive me there and wait outside like a good friend.”

“Damnit Wu Xie.”

Wu Xie was used to people staring at him. He was emotional, loud and the nephew to two of the wealthiest people in the city. But something was different about this. Normally people looked down at him, the rich boy who used his uncle’s money to open his own shop/studio. Or he was looked at like something to be used. Get into the Wu heir’s good books and you have an in with the brothers.

Here though, people looked afraid of him. Steeling himself, Wu Xie stepped away from the entrance, heading for the receptionist. Taking the card out of his pocket, Wu Xie pasted his biggest, friendliest smile on his lips and waited for the young man to hang up the phone. Considering he worked for the Triad, the man looked fairly unthreatening. Long hair, glasses, nice jaw bone, Wu Xie supposed he was attractive, if not a bit twinky. Hanging up, the man smiled nervously at him.

“Hello sir. The boss will see you now.”

“What?”

“Kan Jian here will show to you to the head office.”

Wu Xie was so distracted by the man’s blazer with the sleeves ripped off that he was standing in an elevator before he knew what was happening.

“I’m sorry, what the hell is going on?”

“Don’t worry sir, the boss will explain it all. Just two more floors aaaannd here we are!”

The elevator doors opened onto an office that even his uncle Erbai would be jealous of. A wall of windows looked over the city, there was a fully stocked bar against one wall, a couch beside it, while a large TV took up the majority of the wall opposite. Directly across from the elevator doors stood a large, wooden desk, mahogany if Wu Xie were to guess, these desks usually were. More importantly behind that desk sat the boss, the head of the Triad. And Wu Xie’s waste of an ex who had abandoned him two years ago.

“Xiaoge?”

His ex-boyfriend was the head of the Triad. And still, Wu Xie was annoyed to say, stupidly handsome, especially in an all-black three-piece suit. Wu Xie had always been weak for a man in suits, especially when it was Xiaoge.

“It always felt like you were hiding something from me. Never would have guessed this though.”

Accepting the drink from the other man, Wu Xie tried to ignore the eyes running over his body and the frown on Xiaoge’s face.

“Wait! You’re why I’ve never been robbed or attacked. Until now at least. Why?”

Xiaoge settled onto the couch beside the younger man, an odd look on his face. Wu Xie knew Xiaoge, knew that he always needed a minute or two to think over his words.

“It was the only way I could keep you safe. I always knew I’d have to take over. Zhang Rishan gave me a few years to be normal. I wasn’t expecting to meet you and fall in love. When I took over, I sent out a picture of you and informed everyone that touching you meant instant death. Clearly, not everyone understood.”

“This is why you had to leave, isn’t it?”

 “This life isn’t safe. If I involved you, you’d be in danger. I had to keep you safe Wu Xie. You were and still are the most important person to me. If you got hurt because of me, I don’t know what I’d do.”

“Wasn’t that my decision to make!? Xiaoge, I was a mess after you left. I didn’t eat, I didn’t look after myself, I dropped out of university! You leaving ruined me. And now you tell me it was to protect me and you did it because you love me so much? What am I meant to say to that?”

“Tell me what to do. Wu Xie, please. I’ll do anything to make it up to you if you’ll let me.”

Wu Xie looked at his ex, mind racing. He knew what Xiaoge was expecting. That Wu Xie would give him some impossible task. But damnit, Wu Xie loved him. The last two years had been the most difficult of his life. Wu Xie had spent the entire time feeling like something was missing, searching for Xiaoge in every crowd, dreaming about him every night. Even just being in the same room as the other man made him feel better.

“Dinner. At the fanciest restaurant in town, tonight.”

Xiaoge looked at him, a small smile on his face, the one Pangzi always used to call his Wu Xie smile.

“Dinner, that’s it?”

“That’s it. And a very long, overdue conversation.”

“I can do that.”

“Good, see you tonight Xiaoge.”

Wu Xie turned to the elevator, making sure to add extra sway to his hips, aware that the older man was watching him. When the elevator doors closed behind him, Wu Xie realised that Pangzi was going to kill him for this.

Eh, worth it.

[tragiceyes]

The Importance of Being Honest

Note: Because of course I had to write a quarantine Jaydick fic. And it’s a little too dialogue-heavy to be a good fic, but I still had a lot of fun writing it!

Summary: Fourteen days Jason and Dick have to stay in quarantine together. Fourteen days until he kicks Dick to the curb forevermore. Jason’s counting down. Link to ao3 --> https://archiveofourown.org/works/23598802 (read it there, better formatting)

14.

Fourteen days left. Jason was counting his lucky stars they’d gotten stuck at one of his more robust safe houses. Half his places in the City were one-room, bare bones bunkers, with enough food and clothing for a couple days tops.

Conversely, they were trapped at his place in the Bowery, which, for all intents and purposes, had the form and function of a normal apartment. Fully stocked cabinets, a comfy couch and plenty of books to pass the time.

That is, if one could concentrate on reading.

Dick let out a long-suffering sigh. His tenth in the past five minutes.

“Christ, Dick, can you please shut up? I’m trying to concentrate here.”

“I’m bored, Jason,” Dick complained, “if you had more interesting things to do in your apartment-“

“-there are literally two shelves full of books right behind you-”

“I don’t feel like reading.”

Honestly, Dick was such a child.

“I don’t care what you feel like, find some way to entertain yourself,” Jason snapped at him, “or get out of my sight.”

Dick fell silent. He was the type of person who’d prefer silent company over lonely exile, Jason considered.

Jason returned to his book.

For a moment.

Dick stood on his hands and began tottering around upside down.

Jason let out a sigh of his own.

13.

Monday morning. Jason had the same breakfast every day: six eggs and six strips of bacon. After pointedly ignoring Dick’s request for cereal, Jason was making enough for both of them.

Dick was making coffee.

“You don’t have any cereal? Not even Cheerios?”

“No, Dick. I don’t like to start my day eating a bowlful of sugar, and neither should you.”

Dick rolled his eyes, “Okay, grease monster.”

“Dick, this is a protein-rich breakfast. I burn through at least half it before lunch with my workout routine.”

“Yes, you have very nice abs, Jason. We’re all very proud.”

“How long do you think the energy from that cereal’s gonna last you? One or two girly cartwheels?”

“I’m an acrobat. I don’t want to be built like a tank.”

“Yeah, I can see you prefer to be built more like a ballerina.”

“Shut the fuck up, Jason.”

Jason sauntered over and dropped a plate in front of him. He grabbed Dick’s hand and slid it under his shirt, “Feel that, Dickie-bird? Try punching through that and you’d break your feminine wrist.”

“Impressive,” Dick concerned with a smirk, “or, it would be, if I hadn’t still beaten you in hand-to-hand combat countless times.”

“What you do isn’t hand-to-hand combat, Dick. It’s more like a rousing game of ’dodge-the-fist.’”

“Whatever, Jason.” Dick withdrew his hand, but not before purposefully yanking a little on the hair beneath Jason’s belly button.

He wasn’t above being petty.

12.

Dick was a slob!

He was leaving his clothes everywhere, like a trail Jason could follow to find him.

It had only been two days. How had he made such a mess?

He stomped into the bedroom, where Dick was sitting on the floor, video-chatting Wally West.

“Pick up your shit, Dick!” Jason yelled, tossing the clothes at him, “This is my fucking apartment, have the decency to clean up after yourself!”

Dick hung up the phone, and removed the dirty shirt in his lap, “God! I’m sorry! You could just fucking ask-“

“You’re a fucking adult, Dick! I shouldn’t have to ask you to clean up after yourself!”

“-and I would have-“

“It’s not a fucking circus in here!” Jason stormed into the other room, having no further escape, “fucking trailer park circus boy!”

He instantly regretted that. Wasn’t like he hadn’t grown up poor himself. Dick’s trailer was no more shameful than his parents’ dilapidated apartment.

Or the occasional cardboard box.

He felt sorry. He hoped Dick hadn’t heard.

11.

“Jason, can I borrow something else to wear?”

“Hm?”

“I’ve been wearing the same thing for the past three days. Can I borrow something of yours?”

“Oh, yeah. Go for it.”

Dick emerged from the bedroom in a pair of jeans he’d cuffed at least six times (they still dragged on the floor) and a t-shirt emblazoned with the Red Hood logo.

Jason liked it, though he couldn’t say why.

10.

Dick was lounging on his couch watching television, taking up as much space as humanly possible.

Jason ambled over, shirtless and still a little sweaty after his at-home workout.

“Whatcha watching?”

“Love is Blind.”

He snorted, “Seriously?”

“Don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it.”

“Sit up and move over, then.”

To his surprise, Dick moved over to make room for him.

They sat in silence for a couple minutes.

“I can’t believe you watch this crap. Honestly, Dickie, do you have no shame?”

“It’s not as bad as you make it out to be."

“Nothing about this is even remotely real.”

“Sometimes it’s real. And they really fall in love.”

Jason laughed heartily at that, “You’re kidding, right?”

Dick ignored him.

“Love at first sight? On reality tv?” Jason mocked him, “You do know people don’t really believe in that shit, don’t you?”

“They want to believe it.” Dick said simply.

9.

Jason had just brushed his teeth and was getting ready for bed.

Dick was lying back on the couch, a hot towel over his eyes.

“You alright there, bird brain?”

“Fine.”

“What’s with the towel-blindfold?”

“My eyes get really dry at night. Hot towels help a little bit.”

Jason bit down on his smirk, “Hmph.”

“What?”

“Nothing. It’s just, I guess Mr. Perfect is mortal like the rest of us.”

Dick pulled the towel off his eyes to glare at him, “I’m not perfect, Jason. You’re just insecure.”

Jason raised his eyebrows, taken aback, “Well, tell me how you really feel.”

“I’m sick of you saying shit like that. You’ve been snarking at me since you were a kid. And I’m sick of everyone else saying shit like that, too. I never claimed to be fucking perfect, so it’s not my fault when people have ridiculous expectations of me that I can’t live up to.”

“Relax, Dickface, I’m sorry. Didn’t realize it was such a sore subject.”

Dick’s face fell a bit, “Well, it is. You all expect a lot from me, and I can’t always be what you want me to be.”

He put the towel back over his face.

8.

Dick was in his bed.

Dick was in his bed.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Jason demanded.

Dick looked up at him, “I think we should trade tonight. I’ve been sleeping on the couch for almost a week.”

“Yeah, and you’ll be sleeping there for another week. Beat it!”

Dick didn’t budget, “Come on, Jason. It’s uncomfortable. It’s too cramped and my back hurts in the morning.”

“You know what isn’t too cramped? The floor. Try that.”

Dick snuggled into his pillow, the bastard.

“Dick.”

Dick ignored him.

“DICK!”

“Just for tonight.” Dick said it like he was bargaining, but it was clear he wasn’t going to move.

“Dick, you’re 5’10-“

“5’11!”

“-I’m 6’3. I need more space than you. Physically.”

“We can share, if you want.”

Jason glared at him, “You want me to come over there and move you myself?”

Dick didn’t even glance his way, “Try it.”

Jason stomped over to the bed and grabbed Dick’s ankle. Dick slithered out his grip. Jason lunged for him, and they wrestled on the bed together. He had the weight advantage, but Dick could be as slippery as a snake.

Jason moved to crush him, but Dick wrapped his legs around Jason’s waist and flipped them over. He seated himself right on Jason’s stomach, and grabbed both his wrists, bearing down so they were face to face.

He smirked, “Pinned ya.”

Jason’s face was red and his stomach felt funny.

Dick curled up tight like a child, far away from him, his head resting on Jason’s favorite pillow.

“This is a one-time thing.” Jason said aloud to himself.

Dick was already asleep.

7.

“You’re smiling.”

Jason looked up from his book, “What?”

“You’re smiling at your book.”

Jason stared at him.

“Did something funny happen?”

“No…I, uh…I just like this line.” Jason mumbled to himself, “In The Importance of Being Earnest.”

Dick waited patiently. Jason swallowed.

“When Jack leaves, Gwendolen says ‘If you are not too long, I will wait for you all my life,’” Jason reads the line, biting down on his smile, “I always liked that line. It’s a good line.”

“It is a good line.”

Jason nodded at him awkwardly and continued to read.

“That’s cute.”

Jason snapped his head up so quickly, he cricked his neck, “What did you say?”

“It’s sweet,” Dick was smiling at him now, “that a line in a book makes you smile like that. I didn’t know you were such a romantic, Jason.”

Jason bit back the denial on the tip of his tongue. He returned to his book, feeling the heat of Dick’s gaze warm his cheeks.

6.

The next morning, Jason was greeted with an unusual, though not totally unwelcome, sight.

Dick was contorted on the floor, ass up in the air and knees boxed around his ears.

What the fuck.

“Karnapidasana.”

“Gesundheit.”

Dick let out a soft chuckle, “I’m doing yoga.”

He gestured flimsily to Jason’s laptop, which was open to a YouTube video on advanced yoga practice.

“Sorry I borrowed your computer without asking. Hope you don’t mind.”

Jason’s mouth was a little dry.

“Not at all.”

Dick breathed in time with the practice, “You’re free to join me.”

“Thanks, but…pretty sure I can’t do anything resembling that.”

Dick slowly untangled himself, “We can do a beginner’s class. Give it a try, it’ll do wonders for your state of mind.”

Jason considered snapping back that his state of mind was perfectly fine for someone who’d watched his mother die, lived on the streets, been beaten to death, resurrected, and replaced, but instead he just said:

“Okay.”

5.

Dick was singing a soft tune in a language Jason didn’t know.

Strange. The Bat had trained them in all the same languages, or so he had assumed.

He wanted to complain, but true to form, Dick had a nice voice, and Jason had been about to take a nap anyway.

He closed his eyes and let Dick’s gentle voice wash over him:

“Nane man dajori,

ňi kalo dadoro, ačhiľom korkoro

sar čhindo kaštoro.”

4.

Dick was scrolling through the channels when he noticed Jason rummaging around in the cabinets.

“What are you doing?”

“Just looking for some yeast?”

“Yeast?”

“Yeah, I was gonna bake a loaf of bread to go with dinner.”

Bake bread from scratch? Jason was clearly a more sophisticated cook than Dick had realized.

“I didn’t know you could bake bread from scratch.”

“I can do a lot of things.”

“Will you show me?”

Jason looked over at him, surprised.

“Uh, yeah. Sure.”

Kneading was fun. Dick wasn’t doing it right.

“Not like that! You’re going to tear it.” Jason admonished him.

Dough was stuck to Dick’s hands. He tried to push it back into the mound.

“No, look. Like this.” Jason moved behind him, taking Dick’s hands in his own and guiding them rhythmically.

Push. Turn. Push. Turn. Flip. Push. Turn.

“Better. Keep doing that.” Jason let him go and turned to switch on the oven.

He liked the feeling of his hands on Dick’s.

3.

“Let’s play a game!”

“No.”

“Come on, Jason. It’s not like you have anything better to do.”

“Well, I’d rather do nothing.”

“Come on. A drinking game. Let’s drink the rest of your stash and play a game.”

Jason rolled his eyes, knowing he was going to give in. After all, it wasn’t like he had anything better to do.

“Fine. Go get my whiskey.”

Dick grinned triumphantly and made his way to the kitchen, returning with the bottle and two glass tumblers. He sat on the floor and patting the space across from him for Jason.

“What, we can’t use chairs like civilized people?”

“Come on. It’s more fun this way.”

Jason made his way to the floor, taking a pillow with him. He took the bottle from Dick’s hand and poured a finger into each glass, “What are we playing?”

“Truth or Dare.”

“How very high school of you.”

“You can go first.”

“Fine. Truth.”

“Who’s your favorite Robin?”

“I hate all of you equally.”

“Liar.”

“Fine. Stephanie, then.”

“Good choice. How come?”

“Because fuck the Replacement-”

“Jason-“

“And I don’t like the demon child.”

“He’s not a demon child.”

“-but you knew exactly who I was talking about…”

That surprised a laugh out of Dick. Jason was surprised. Usually, Dickie-bird was much more sensitive about his little demon friend.

“What about me then?” He asked with a self-satisfied grin.

“You’re in second place.”

“All right!”

“It’s a distant second.”

“Fair enough.”

Dick was still grinning at him with a funny look it his eye. It was making Jason feel exposed. He took a swig from his glass.

“Your turn.”

“Truth.”

“Same question.”

“Oh, I love all of you equally.” What a sap.

“That’s a cop-out.”

“But it’s true!”

“No, it’s not. Your favorite is Demon Boy, followed by Replacement, followed by Steph, followed, in a distant fourth, by me.”

“That’s not true, Jason!”

“Yes, it is.”

“You were a great Robin-“

"Yeah, okay."

"I mean it!"

“Well, you didn’t exactly think so at the time I took the job.”

Dick’s face fell. Jason hated himself for hating himself for doing that.

“That was…complicated. And it wasn’t about you.”

“Whatever. I want a dare this time.”

“I dare you to lick the floor.”

“What the fuck, Dick!”

“What? These floors are immaculate.”

“They aren’t, not since you’ve been here.”

“Are you really going to chicken out this early, Jason?”

“You are fucking deranged.” Jason said authoritatively. But he bent down and licked the floor anyway.

“Ew!”

“Fuck you, Dick.”

Several drinks and rounds into the game, and things were starting to get a little hazy.

“Your turn.” Dick slurred, flat on his back.

“Truth.”

“Coward.”

“Last time you made me dump ice cubes down my pants, and my nuts are still numb. I’m not taking any more chances.”

“Who was the first person you ever liked? Like like liked.”

Jason wanted to mock his language, but he was suddenly feeling a little warm, “Pass.”

“You can’t.”

“I’ll take a dare, then. Go ahead and make me drink from the toilet or something.”

Dick snickered at that, “No, you have to answer. That’s the law according to the rules.”

“You don’t need to know.”

“I really need to know now, cons-slithering…condisering...considering how much you don’t wanna tell  me.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“I won’t laugh at you, lil’ wing…”

“What a fucking liar.”

Dick cackled. “Fine, maybe I will then.”

“I’m not telling.”

“You have to,”

“No.”

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaassseeee?”

“Fuck no.”

“Please, please, please, please." Dick chanted. "Please!”

“GOD! Shut up! It was you, okay! Fuck!”

Dick’s jaw dropped, his eye wide. He looked like a fish. Jason decided to tell him so.

“You look like…you fucking fish. You look like a fucking fish.” He took a defiant swig of whiskey straight from the bottle.

“You like fish then. Fish fucker!”

Jason couldn’t stop a laugh for bubbling up, but being mid sip causing a bit of whiskey to go up his nose. It burned like hell!

“Fuck! You! You just made whiskey go up my nose!”

Dick was laughing hysterically, unsympathetic as can be.

“Fuck, that burns.” Jason coughed loudly, “God, I hate you.”

“No, you don’t.” Dick was teasing him now, and Jason couldn’t stand it. His face was reddening and he was glad to have to whiskey as an excuse.

“Get over yourself.”

“You really liked me?”

“Yeah, I really did. Which made you hating me fffffff-fucking hurtful." Jason continued thickly. The alcohol was really loosening his tongue now, and this could only end badly, "You hurt my fucking feelings, you know.”

“Jason,” Dick was crawling over to him now. Jason began scooting away, “Jason, I’m sorry.”

“Get away!”

“I want a hug!”

“No! Get back!”

But Dick was relentless. To Jason’s clear horror, he climbed up on his lap and threw his arms around Jason’s neck and pressed his face into Jason’s shoulder.

“God!” Jason yelled. He would never forgive himself if he went hard, “Damn you! Get the fuck off me!”

“Stop moving and just hug me!” As though Dick wasn’t the one squirming on top of him, absolutely clueless as to the effect it was having on him.

Jason groaned miserably. What had he done to deserve such torture?

“Get. Off.”

Dick squeezed him a little harder before relenting unhappily, “Fine.”

He crawled away on all fours, until Jason, emboldened further by the alcohol, raised a hand and brought it down as hard as he could against Dick’s ass.

SMACK!

“OW! Fuck, Jason!” Dick cried indignantly.

Jason was cackling madly at the look of disbelief on his face, “Ha! That’s what you get!”

“That hurt!” Dick dragged himself to safety, far from Jason’s reach, “Jesus Christ.”

He knocked over the bottle of whiskey on his way. Fortunately, it was empty.

Empty!

“I guess the games over then…” Jason slurred, “which is….imma go to bed then…”

Jason stumbled to his feet, slowly and clumsily making his way to the bedroom, and collapsed face first into the pillows.

Dick wasn’t far behind.

Jason flipped to his side with a moan, only to be confronted with Dick shuffling himself into a little spoon position.

“No, Dick!”

“Cuddle me!”

“No! Get back on your…that side.”

“Jason!”

“No.”

“You know you want to.”

“I’ll kick you off.”

“Is it because you have a boner? It doesn’t bother m-UNF!”

Jason had just shoved a pillow in his face to smother him. He held it down with all his might, but Dick’s fist flew out and hit him on the shoulder. He loosened his grip for a moment, but that was all it took for Dick to get free and mount an attack. He gripped the pillow underneath his head and whacked Jason as hard as he could.

Jason pushed his face down with one big hand.

Dick kicked him in the stomach.

Jason grabbed his ankle and started tickling his foot.

Dick screamed in spite of himself and used his other foot to kick Jason in the chest.

Jason grabbed his other ankle and forced them to either side of his body.

Dick grabbed him between his legs and began to squeeze.

Jason threw himself down to crush him under his weight.

Dick squirmed to the side and used Jason’s momentum to flip them over.

“Ha!” He cried in triumph, hands on Jason’s shoulders. From where he was seated, there was no mistaking Jason’s arousal. Dick was impressed. After all those drinks you’d think he-

“AH!” He cried as Jason suddenly forced himself up, dislodging Dick from his crotch. Jason pressed his advantage, crushing Dick beneath him, hands gripping his thighs, chests pressed together, his face inches from Dick’s.

Dick’s eyes were wide, his face was pink, his lips were parted. Jason wanted to devour him.

Dick looked like he was about to speak. Jason could think of no other way to silence him.

He crashed his lips against Dick's.

Then they were kissing and moving aggressively, hands wandering, rolling around on the bed. Jason ground into Dick and Dick let out a moan that he knew would follow him in his dreams. Dick was tugging at his shirt, Jason was fumbling with his own pants, he was so tangled up in Dick he could hardly tell who was who, but he never wanted to be separate again, from now on he always wanted to be this close to Dick.

They were rolling, pushing, squeezing, and Jason’s head was pounding, but he was seeing and touching parts of Dick he’d never imagined, and Dick was touching him too.

They came apart together, and when it was over Jason, pressed closely to Dick, slept better than he had in years.

2.

He woke up as if in a strange dream.

He was naked

Someone was next to him.

That someone was Dick.

His nose was in Dick’s hair.

He arm was clutching Dick’s waist.

Dick was naked too.

Dick. Naked!

And he was still asleep.

Jason shamefully snuck a peek at him.

He was all warm, golden skin.

Angular, perfect face.

Long, slim neck.

Strong, lean back.

Faded scars.

Round, plush ass.

Strong thighs.

Jason could lean in and stay pressed up against him all day long.

Instead he went to make some coffee.

As he prepared the first cup to Dick's liking, he heard a soft shuffle.

Dick was there.

He hadn’t bothered getting dressed.

God bless him.

"Hi."

"Hi."

1.

“You know what this means?”

“What?”

“You cheated.”

“…what?”

“During the game. You said Steph was your favorite Robin,” Dick was grinning at him now, all teeth. Smug as can be, “That wasn’t the truth.”

Jason walked toward him, stopping only when they were inches apart. Smirking triumphantly when Dick had to look up at him.

He wanted to taste that grin.

Dick opened his mouth again, “You-mmmmm”

Jason had finally found a way to shut him up.

They spent the day together.

0.

They’d made it fourteen days. Dick was free to go.

But Jason didn’t want him to, and Dick didn’t offer.

What Jason did want to do was finally get to a grocery store. He had a nice dinner in mind, and needed some ingredients.

“I’m heading out!” He called, but Dick appeared, fully dressed in athletic gear.

“I thought I’d get some fresh air too. Going for a run.”

“See you back here later?”

Dick grinned, “If you’re not too long-“

“Don’t even think about it.”

“-I will wait for you all my life.”

Jason, refusing to dignify that with an answer, made his way out the door.

“Don’t pretend you’re indifferent to me!” Dick called after him.

Jason turned back with a grin, “Even before I met you, I was far from indifferent to you.”

Dick smiled, “Oh, Jason. That was so sweet. Did you just make that up?”

Jason’s grin froze on his face. He stared at Dick. Dick stared blankly back.

“Fucking dumbass!” Jason stomped off, not even trying to keep the amused smile off his face.

“Jason, wait!” Dick laughed, chasing him, “What do you mean? Jason!”

-the end-

[denouemwnt]

hope

you can also read it in AO3!

pairing: bruce wayne x batmom x batfam

warnings: swearing.

summary: Since your accident with the Joker, the doctors always told you and Bruce that it was impossible for you to have a biological child, you get pregnant, and the whole Bat Family is crazy with the news. But after you and your baby getting kidnapped, will they get to save you from the criminals hands?

request: Hi! I was wondering if you could write one where Batmom is pregnant and she gets kidnapped/injured (but the baby is okay) and batfam goes crazy trying to find her? With a fluffy ending

words: 2016

A/N: I. AM. BACK. I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone that has supported my stories even when I disappeared from here. I really hope I get to write more so I can be more active here. ❤

(you can see my masterlist here!)

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Excited laughs echoed through the house, making you curious to know what was happening, but your stomach made a strange noise, insisting for you to continue eating the last piece of chocolate cake Alfred baked. Jason was sitting beside you, reading one of the books you just gave him. It was very uncommon to him to be reading in peace lately, but you were happy he managed to do it after giving to him one of your favorite books of when you were his age. Maybe he just needed a reminder of the things he loved doing.

You got really focused on eating the cake. It was so delicious that you couldn’t resist it, and so the baby slightly kicking your belly. Neither of you could. It was kind of hard sometimes, feeling that much enthusiasm inside you that the baby seemed to have. She was always moving and kicking, so there were a lot of jokes about that it wouldn’t take long for her to be the new Robin, always seeming to have a serious fight inside your belly.

All the talk about Robin and stuff made you insecure again because of that accident a long time ago, the one the doctors said it made impossible for you to have a baby, biologically. But that didn’t stop you from having a great number of amazing kids who gave you so much happiness. You wouldn’t be the same without them. They were as shocked as you when the pregnancy test was positive, you made it three times just to be sure. It was an impossible thing to happen, there wasn’t any chance of it, that was what the doctors said to you and Bruce after you lost your baby.

She was a miracle. A very happy and unexpected one, but she was bringing joy to all the Wayne family since the day you discovered you were pregnant, already charming everyone around her. It changed everything. Aside from the turbulence and nervousness of carrying her inside you for the first time and some people freaking out sometimes with the idea of having a baby in the house in just a few weeks, everything was going well. 

Your name was being called from the living room from three very happy kids, holding a lot of plastic bags with the Walmart name printed on it. “Over here in the kitchen!”, you answered, very curious to know what they bought. You had no idea what they were about to do.

Dick, Stephanie, and Duke placed the bags on the kitchen table right after you finished eating your cake. “What have you guys been up to?” You smile at them, happy to see them together. “We bought the baby some awesome gifts!” Steph gave you a warm smile. “Superhero gifts”, Duke continued. The three of them started pulling out the clothes from the bags, spreading them on the table so you could see. “With Bruce’s money,” Dick murmured and you laughed.

“As much I would love to see this, I’ve gotta go.” Jason closed his book and got up from the chair, whispering a quiet but sweet bye to you and leaving the room.

A head popped up from nothing, observing what was happening after fully appearing on the kitchen, like a normal person. “So after 3 hours, you came back.” They stared at each other for a moment before Duke answers, “We argued a little bit about the clothes.” You asked them to show you what they bought and you could see that they had something else in mind, other than just showing the clothes. And when you saw it, you realize what they were doing. Bruce did too, immediately.

Wonder Woman. Superman. Green Lantern. The Flash. Shazam. Aquaman. All the cute superhero clothes for your daughter to wear, but there was someone missing and they couldn’t hide that it was on purpose.

“Are you guys kidding me? I gave you 500 dollars and there’s not even one Batman thing?” All the eyes turned to you with the loud laugh that left your throat. Bruce was really mad at them for not buying anything Batman related, giving them a lesson that the bat was a true hero.

“Well, Bruce, we are very sorry to crush your dreams but… they don’t even sell this bat guy’s clothes there. Who is he the compared to Superman?” Stephanie tried not to laugh. You looked at your husband, he was angry, but you could see that playful glance on his eyes, ready to show them that Batman was a hero indeed.

And it got serious. Bruce gave you a quick kiss and left the room determined to buy all the Batman things to his daughter. 

_____

Everything was dark when you woke up, feeling lost, wondering where you were. The room was also cold, the chair you were sitting on was very uncomfortable. You had no idea what was happening, what was this place and how you got there. Tears were trying to fall to your cheeks, but you wouldn’t cry, you couldn’t. However, just the feeling of this situation remembers you the time when you lost your first child and you just wanted so badly to touch your belly and feel your baby, who was more agitated than ever. 

The last thing your memory allows you to remember is quickly heading to the nearest fast food place with Damian - who insisted to go with you - to buy the biggest cheeseburger you could get or that would affect the baby. You craved that burger for hours, you couldn’t wait anymore for Bruce to get back from the shop to see all the Batman things he got to your daughter.

You got off the sight of your son. Just one minute and they got you. 

“It is my fault, Father. I shouldn’t have lost her for just a minute.” Suddenly, everyone froze with the reaction of Damian. His hands went to his face, covering the tear that fell to his cheek. “Oh. My. God.” Jason whispered and then continued, “This shit is real serious. We are all going to die.” 

The door opened and your heart almost jumped from your chest. You could tell what all of this was about, but couldn’t they do it some months before or after you had your baby? It would be so much faster to end with it.

“I don’t really need to explain myself, do I? You must be used to it by now.” The man in a mask calmly said. “I honestly don’t give a damn about you, we just get the money and you get back to your family, ok? Simple as that.” You just nodded, seeing how impatient he was. “A few thousand will impact The Wayne like cents.” He continued.

And you were alone again. You and your baby, waiting for your family to show up. Oh, you would love to get out of this chair and kick their asses, but you couldn’t risk her life like that, as much you would love to. You just needed to stay awake and alert. That was it. You needed to-

Bruce felt a single drop of sweat fall from his face. He just sent the money to the group who kidnapped you and there wasn’t any answer from them by now, making him more nervous them before, wondering if you and the baby were fine. He thought it was simple, but then he realized it wasn’t like he thought it would be. They must have planned something else. 

“Something is wrong.” Tim murmured to himself behind his father, trying to find you in the bat-computer. Bruce turned to face the screen, asking him what did he found out. “Mom is not where we thought she was.“

After a few more moments trying to find you, Barbara couldn’t keep to herself what she thought about the situation.

“I think this is not a common kidnapping like someone would do to get money from Bruce Wayne. Maybe, they want something else, maybe her.” Barbara didn’t want to say that, because it would be closer to the truth, but she knew it was a possible option to happen. Bruce stayed quiet for a few minutes, staring at the map of Gotham on the computer, trying to think of where you were.

“Bruce, where are you going?” Dick goes after him. “Batman can’t go there, people will know”.

“I don’t fucking care!” For a moment Bruce shows his fear, but soon hides it behind a plain expression. “I’m going to save them.” He puts on his mask. “Cass, Duke, Jason. You’re coming with me. The rest of you stay here unless I say something. Understand?”

All of them nodded.

_____

You woke up with the sound of someone breaking the door of the room you were imprisoned in. 

“Hey, mom,” Jason whispered. “Oh shit, why are you crying? Did they hurt you?” He kneeled in front of you with his eyes wide. 

“No, no, we are okay. It’s the hormones talking, darling.” You smiled, assuring that you were fine. “Now, please, take us out of here. I didn’t finish my cheeseburger.”

“Yeah, about that... We have to wait until Cass gives me the sign to get out.”

“She is the best of you. I’m sure it will be quick.” You laughed at his face.

“Well then, if you like her so much then I think she can take you out of this room.” He mentioned to leave you there alone.

“Come on Jay, don’t leave your mother like that. Now take me out of these ropes.”

Cass gave Jason the sign to take you to the Batwing, but when you were living the room a guy appeared in front of you. You ran to the opposite side of the room so Jason started fighting him, soon joined by Bruce and Cass. In the middle of the fight, two more guys showed up.

“Tim, you said that the building was clean!” Duke screamed and ran to you. “Are you alright?”

“Oh, shit.” You stared at the liquid on the floor. “If you guys don’t beat the shit outta them I’m going to have my baby at this fucking floor!” You screamed in pain. “Go end this fight, Duke”

The pain was consuming you. The baby was supposed to be born in a few weeks. Not. Now. Not while her father and her siblings were fighting the guys who kidnapped her mother.

Bruce quickly saw your condition and the last man fell on the floor.

“Let’s go, Y/N. Everything is going to be okay.” He kissed your temple and carried you to the jet.

You husband was beside you, already dressed as Bruce Wayne, taking care of you until the car got you to the hospital. Cass, Jason, and Duke were getting the plane in a safe place.

Bruce got his phone to warn the rest of the family. “Alfred, tell-”

“We are on our way, Master Wayne.”

_____

You and your husband couldn’t stop smiling at her, such a beautiful baby. Every single one of the family couldn’t wait to hold her, but she needed to be checked by the doctors soon. Only you and Bruce were the ones who got to have her in your arms, admiring how much happiness she brought after that awful moment.

“So, thoughts on our last discussion about names?” He places your daughter carefully on your arms.

Until that moment, you and your husband had an idea of her first name, but you hadn’t decided yet the baby’s middle name. With your daughter in your arms and Bruce beside you with a bright smile on his face, you suggested: “What do you think of Hope?”. He stared at his baby for a minute. It was perfect. He was just the happiest man at that moment, with the family he never thought he could have. Bruce sighed, one arm around you while caressing his daughter’s tiny hand. 

“Welcome to this world, D/N Hope Wayne. You’ve got a mini Batmobile waiting for you at home.”

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You can go to my masterlist to read more of my batmom series and my other batfam stories!

Feedback is always welcome ❤️

[nicolewrites]

are these helium balloons

the roommate au makes a glorious return...

Rating: G+ Genre: Friendship Characters: Sylvain Jose Gautier & Ingrid Brandl Galatea Words: 2,035

Ingrid and Sylvain have to pick up some party decorations. It goes about as well as planned.

AO3

“No, Sylvain, we are not going to spend forty dollars on balloons,” Ingrid grumbled. She was leaning her head against the steering wheel of the car to avoid looking at her roommate.

“Oh, but come on! Can you imagine the look on his face when he sees all those balloons?”

She lifted her head and stared at him, feeling both annoyed and just in total disbelief. “Sylvain. Where are we going to keep forty dollars worth of helium balloons before Felix gets home?”

He laughed. “Oh, ye of little faith! I promise this will be one hundred percent worth it.”

Ingrid sighed again. “Sylvain, Dimitri asked us to buy reasonable party decorations. What part of reasonable do you not understand?”

Sylvain winked and opened the car door, climbing out. Ingrid huffed and undid her seatbelt, climbing out after him. They stared at each other over the roof of Ingrid’s car and Ingrid narrowed her eyes.

Sylvain batted his eyelashes at her like she was one of his stupid one-off girls. “Come on Ingrid, Ashe is like a big kid anyway. He’d love the balloons.”

She smacked her forehead. “Sylvain, why does it have to be forty dollars worth of balloons?”

“Because Ashe’s name has four letters and they’re ten bucks apiece for the big ones,” he replied immediately.

Ingrid spun on her heel and walked away from her car, lifting up her hand to lock it behind her. The car beeped, confirming that it had locked and Ingrid shoved her keys back in her pocket. She kicked her toe through a pile of leaves on the ground and shoved her hands in her pockets. It was only October, but that didn’t mean that the fall chills weren’t already starting to sink in.

“Ingrid!” Sylvain called.

She didn’t turn around, but she heard his footsteps approach as he jogged after her, pursuing her to the edge of the parking lot where they stood in front of the party goods store. Before they walked inside, Ingrid poked his shoulder with her finger, hard.

“Serious decorations first, okay? We can argue about the balloons later.”

Sylvain braced his hands behind his head, grinning slyly at her. “Alright, alright.”

The doors to the party goods store opened and they walked inside only to come to an immediate halt in front of a massive display of fake gravestones. Ingrid blinked at the display dumbly and then immediately jumped when an automated witch cackled.

“Oh my god,” she muttered. “It’s October and we’re at a party store. There isn’t going to be anything here but Halloween stuff, is there?”

Sylvain looked just as struck as she felt. “You know what? I agree with you on that one. I think we’re going to be hard-pressed to find decorations that aren’t orange and black.”

Ingrid took a deep breath and grabbed Sylvain’s arm, dragging him into the store. “If I’m going to suffer through cheap plastic masks and displays that laugh at me in horrible robot voices, you’re coming with me.”

He chuckled and let her drag him towards the first aisle, one that was labelled “Tablewear and Serving”. Sylvain scooped up a basket from the entrance to the aisle and they walked down it. Thankfully, once they left the very front of the store, the Halloween insanity of the store lessened a bit. There was still an abnormally large number of orange and black and white plastic and paper plates, but at least there were some blue ones and normal patterned things.

Ingrid had never been so relieved to see “Birthday Princess” branded cups.

She grabbed two sleeves of blue solo cups and one of yellow ones and dumped them into the basket Sylvain was holding. She moved on to grab a package of cocktail napkins and a stack of blue and white polka-dotted paper plates. She hesitated before placing the plates down, but Sylvain just rolled his eyes and grabbed them, adding them to the basket.

“It’s fine, Ingrid. Dimitri and I are covering the costs and a few paper plates aren’t going to hurt the environment that much.”

She rolled her eyes. “I just hate buying stuff like this when we have perfectly good dishes back at the apartment.”

He shrugged and walked past her towards the end of the aisle. “If you wanna break out the breakable stuff while we’re all drunk, be my guest, but you’ll be cleaning the shards out of the carpet and also possibly people’s hands as a result.”

Ingrid frowned but walked after him. “And this is why we are buying the plates, even if I don’t particularly want to.”

“Oh, hey, look at this!” Sylvain said suddenly, turning left at the end of the aisle and pointing at the wall of the store.

Ingrid rounded the corner and immediately slapped a hand against her face.

“No,” she said immediately. “You are absolutely not allowed to be ghost-decorated anything. Ashe is terrified of ghosts and since it’s his birthday, we are going to respect that, okay?”

Sylvain laughed and held his hands up defensively. “Just relax, Ing, it was a joke. I would never do that to him.”

She turned and walked the other way towards the sign that said “Birthday Essentials”. Sylvain followed her, his shoes squeaking on the linoleum floors. They turned into the birthday aisle and Ingrid groaned.

It was almost entirely taken over by Halloween decorations.

“Seriously, don’t these places understand that people still have birthdays in October?” she complained.

“Note to self,” Sylvain said, “buy supplies for Ashe’s last-minute surprise party in September or even August before the entire country decides that it’s already Halloween.”

Ingrid sighed again. “Let’s see what we can find.”

They picked their way down the aisle, finding two rolls of blue streamers and a package of green and yellow crepe paper that could be used for decorating. Ingrid quickly added all of them to the basket. At the end of the aisle, she stopped in front of the last shelf and stared at all the options in front of her.

“Will you shut up and stop complaining if I buy a pack of regular balloons?” Ingrid asked. “These are only a few dollars.”

Sylvain flashed her a thumbs up and Ingrid grabbed a party pack of balloons and tossed them to Sylvain. He caught them and added them to the basket. She strode over and looked into it, checking on their collected supplies. She looked up at Sylvain to ask him something and almost bashed her head against his since he had also been looking down.

Ingrid was suddenly flustered at how close she was to Sylvain, so she stepped back hastily and bit the inside of her cheek, hoping that the spark of pain would prevent her from blushing over the encounter. Sylvain didn’t seem to notice her awkwardness and she quickly collected herself.

“Do we need snacks or candy or anything?” she asked.

Sylvain shook his head. “Not that I can remember. Mercedes is doing the cake and Dedue is handling the food. Annette and Felix are distracting Ashe until,” he paused, checking his watch, “eight, so we have three hours.”

Ingrid mentally ran over her list in her head again. “Well, I think we got everything we need here, so should we check out?”

Sylvain nodded. “Sounds good to me.”

The check out was busy, as expected, and filled almost entirely with people buying last-minute Halloween decorations or costumes. The young boy in front of them in the line-up actually gave them a funny look when he noticed that they weren’t buying any Halloween decor. Ingrid just crossed her arms and stared right back at him, daring him to say anything.

Sylvain nudged her as they stood in line and pointed up at the wall of helium balloons above the check-out counters. “I still think that would be amazing.”

She elbowed him. “We’re buying the regular balloons. That’s more than enough. We’re already going to have a chaotic night ahead of us. Annette and Ashe are both sentimental drunks so I hope you’re ready for a lot of hugging.”

Sylvain laughed. “Well, Dimitri will just fall asleep half-way through and we all know that Dedue and Mercedes are the most responsible of all of us so they’ll make sure that nobody dies.”

Ingrid scoffed to hold back a laugh. “Well, just try to make it back to your bed this time, okay?”

“If I recall,” he replied, “you were the one who fell asleep on top of me.”

“Neither of us remembers anything from Die Hard night, don’t even pretend like you do,” she rebuffed immediately.

Sylvain just smirked in reply and followed the blinking lights through the check out lane to a cashier. They unloaded their basket onto the counter and asked for bags as the cashier started scanning all of their items. In total, they were probably over-priced, but at least they had managed to get everything in one place.

As they left the store Ingrid took one bag and left the other for Sylvain. The mechatronic witch by the door cackled and they both jumped, even though they totally should have seen it coming. Sylvain shoved Ingrid out the door on reflex and they speed-walked about halfway to the car before they both burst out laughing.

Ingrid shoved his shoulder, but she couldn’t help the smile on her face. “Why are we like this?” she asked.

“Maybe shopping for Ashe’s birthday rubbed off on us and we’re now just as scared of everything as he is,” Sylvain suggested jokingly.

Ingrid laughed. “I can do without his fear of ghosts honestly.”

Sylvain adjusted the bag he was carrying and held out his hand to take the one she was holding. Ingrid tilted her head confused and Sylvain just wagged his fingers, gesturing for her to hand over the bag.

“To get your keys out,” he explained.

“Oh, right,” she said.

She handed over the bag as they continued their walk to Ingrid’s car. She unlocked the car and pushed the button to pop the trunk. Sylvain dumped both bags in the trunk and closed it, but he hesitated as Ingrid walked to the driver’s seat. She stopped, hand on the door handle, and stared at him.

“I just remembered one more thing that Dimitri asked me to grab. I’ll just run back in and get it,” Sylvain said.

He was turning and jogging back towards the store before she could stop him and Ingrid just sighed to herself, shaking her head. She opened the car and got inside. She put her seatbelt on and started the car, connecting her phone to the Bluetooth before Sylvain would get the chance to do something ridiculous like playing the High School Musical Soundtrack again.

She had just turned on her new favourite Indie album when the trunk opened and Sylvain dumped something heavy in the back with a grunt. Ingrid twisted in her seat, trying to see what he had grabbed, but her view was blocked by the seats in the back. Sylvain closed the trunk and quickly moved around, getting into the passenger seat. He grinned at her and Ingrid was immediately suspicious.

She turned and looked back at the trunk before looking back at Sylvain. “What did you just buy?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Ingrid shut the car off. “Sylvain. As far as I’m concerned, we’re not going anywhere until you tell me what you just bought.”

His grin widened. “So you know how you said we weren’t going to buy forty dollars worth of helium balloons for Ashe’s birthday?”

“Oh no,” she said reflexively. “What did you do?”

“I did not buy the giant foil balloons,” he defended. “I just bought a small helium tank so we can fill up all the balloons we did buy with helium and have many, many, smaller helium balloons.”

Ingrid groaned loudly and dropped her head onto the steering wheel. Her horn blared loudly and the mother and daughter getting out of the car next to them both jumped and stared at Ingrid’s car. Ingrid lifted her head up and glared at Sylvain.

“You suck.”

“The tank was only twenty-six dollars. It’s fine.”