#hope you have a good day ^w^

[sunny-haven]

One thing I've always wanted since I got into hypnosis in middle school is to be hypnotized to see myself as some sort of furry creature (and as of 2020, to see myself as my fursona, my dragon!). And while I don't see that happening for me anytime soon, one way I like to live that dream vicariously is through some of my subjects.

There's a decent amount of subjects out there who have imposition/phantom touch so it's always lovely to give them attention, pets, cuddles, all that stuff. Sometimes I'll have them feel me purr. But there are a few subjects out there who are able to not only feel but see things with hypnosis too, and that's where I have the most fun, because I'll just have them see my fursona like I'm right there!

She looks like this, by the way:

Gosh, the sheer amount of things I do with those kind of subjects, I wouldn't be able to list them all. But definitely lots of cuddles, wrapping them up in my tail, having them feel me purr against them, telling them about my lavender scent and how calming it is. With one subject, I'll often snuggle with him while we're vibing in a call, sit on his lap or have him sit on mine. Haha, there was a time where he was having trouble going to bed consistently so I'd have my dragon self drag him to bed at a certain time each night (and I still do it once in a while when he's stubborn). I like to joke about the fact that my sona's basically a big cat inside of a dragon's body so sometimes I'll lick the top of people's heads like I'm a momma cat. I've been experimenting with biting and choking people with my tail as well. Lotta paw worshipping. Like a loooott lol. Spiral eyes as well, and lately I've given my sona a lavender mist she can breathe out that's super hypnotic. It's great honestly. Oh and lots of more not-safe-for-Tumblr stuff as well, you can bet haha.

It's also honestly helped a lot with my gender expression! It took me a while to come up with the form I express myself as now, but I was able to experiment a lot because a couple of close subjects were able to see my sona in whatever way I wanted present her as! Idk if it'd be a good idea to post the NSFT ref sheet on here but she's a gynomorph, I believe? Think a male body but with breasts, and you can use whatever the term for that is.

I am like suuuper jealous of those friends who are able to see my ideal self so easily, haha, but at the same time it's really nice because they talk about how calming it is for them and it helps them feel a lot happier. (and if they don't outright say it, I can definitely see it!)

but yeah, I just wanted to put that out there into the wild, it's pretty cool. :3

[mitchmotch]

been really into dandadan lately

[starlingfawn]

send me back in time and i'll bring us back in line

[applestorms]

(tw for extensive discussions of dubiously consensual sexual situations, typical to canon. also spoilers for the decay route update)

honestly, one of the most interesting aspects of andrew's psyche that we get to see in the most recent decay route update to me is his nearly unending hesitancy about having sex with ashley, despite both his overwhelming desire to AND her incredibly blasé, Yeah Sure Let's Do It attitude in response to the question.

while the end of the burial route provides some key insight into ashley's point of view regarding this topic (e.g. if you go with the less enthusiastic/more teasing answer to andrew's question of "we're not like that, right? right??"), and the shots & such ending provides even more intrigue into her motivations, i think that decay presents two key reasons as to why andrew has continued to hold back for so long: his two core conflicting desires, and an inability to see ashley as her own full person. notably, both of these parts can easily be connected to his mother's childhood abuse and parentification of him as well.

with regards to the first point: andrew has two main overwhelming desires at the heart of his character that motivate most of his actions, which unfortunately for him are completely incompatible. andrew wants:

to be a normal, average person-- someone who can hold a steady, respectable job, fit in at the block party BBQs, and not attract any negative attention from the neighbors.

to fuck his sister.

to some degree, you could even read the distinction between the two main routes themselves (burial and decay) to be motivated by whether or not andrew can diffuse the tension between these two wants-- in burial, he gives up on his need to fit in with the rest of respectable society, presumably pushing him more towards the fucking-his-sister route; in decay, he struggles significantly to let go of this desire for normalcy, and the stress almost always breaks him. notably, in neither of these routes can he fully give up on the second desire-- really, his relationship with julia and the rest of his life up til the point that ep1 begins has been about him trying and failing to do so, so this makes sense.

(sidenote: i would also like to clarify that i think the Most key distinction between these two routes comes down to the decision you actually have to make to get one or the other-- namely, whether or not the siblings are able to trust one another. but anyways)

this focus on the first desire for normalcy is also interesting in that it seems to be one of the core desires that renee holds as well, as we see her so happily boast about during their interactions in ep2. honestly i could probably write a whole post about how much andrew (consciously or, more often, not) mimics his mother's behavior and takes on her standards and ideals, but the key point to pay attention to here is the fact that andrew has subsumed his mother's viewpoint in such a way that he is either not fully aware of or simply hasn't questioned in all that much depth yet.

we can also see this with the aforementioned parentifiication, which has really interesting consequences on how much andrew does (not) see ashley as her own autonomous person. pretty much every single childhood flashback we get in 3a shows the same terrible cycle:

andrew is told by renee that ashley is His responsibility -> ashley causes problems on purpose -> andrew takes the fall for her

frankly, we don't even really need that first step for andrew to fully internalize the idea that ashley's actions are His to take responsibility for. the horrible consequences of this are also quite obvious: not only is this pressure to take responsibility for someone else's actions an incredibly unfair burden to put on anyone, much less a kid, but it also continually pushes andrew to see ashley as something less than human, or as little more than an extension of himself rather than her own person.

the main conflict in decay really comes down to this conflicting desire between the two of them, where what both andrew and ashley want above all else is Complete and Utter control over the other-- andrew wanting control because he has again been groomed to see ashley as his full responsibility, and ashley wanting control to assuage her own insecurities and fears about being isolated and hated forever. the more sympathetic throughline underlying a lot of this is that what both of them seem to want is safety, to protect both themselves and each other from any and all situations outside of their control-- though, unfortunately, a lot of times those exact external situations are simply the other acting on this mirrored desire for control lol.

anyways, going back to the sex thing-- since andrew doesn't see ashley as her own person, since he sees her as incapable of taking responsibility for her own actions and therefore as someone who cannot make decisions for herself, due in large part to him automatically transferring this burden to himself, andrew also sees ashley's consent as essentially meaningless.

the more sympathetic reading here is that andrew does genuinely want ashley to be at least kinda into it as more than a manipulation tactic/transactional thing-- but i think it's also equally likely that andrew simply doesn't want to have to once again shoulder the full burden of Committing Incest on his own, and he doesn't trust ashley to ever be even capable of taking the fall for her own actions. the fact that andrew still ultimately sees ashley as Leyley and NEVER as Ashley Proper (as he himself recognizes at one point) really just reinforces this to me. he says it himself-- he practically raised this woman. and in this case, even above all others, ashley's actions are quite literally also his own. it all goes back to that initial mistrust, and he carries that resentment with him even after they get around to actually doing it. mutually dubious consent, truly in-fucking-deed.

[peachykcqt]

all tangled up 🤭

[keokartoffel]

Ho Ho Ho, Chaos Control Happy Holidays! 🎄

[theythemmer]

phinktober day 11: ur fav AU

i dont rlly do AUs so i just drew them how i wish they would dress xo

(dan’s tats r carnations and snowdrops and phil’s r roses and honeysuckle. for no reason 🤗)

ALSO bonus version w makeup bc i couldn’t pick <3

[forsaken-headcanons]

why no answer to me ask?? :((((

honey.

[mitchmotch]

our fearless leader!

[svtskneecaps]

i'm still stuck on the purgatories so here's a list of purgatory 2 moments simply off the top of my head that deserve to be remembered:

aimsey ducking all of axolotl team alone in a cave with literally half a heart

goose gang fucking descending on the raccoon base and absolutely wrecking shop

ethan crankgameplays clutching up for team panda during the capture the flag game by being the only one hanging out in the center and periodically checking the chests, earning them a shitton of flags and clutching multiple rounds

crow team's egg taking 0 damage

pac doxxing goose gang's egg in the last second

shelby shubble as the last member of her team online writing a letter to aimsey and sharing the world's most devastating ten minutes before her team was eliminated with one of the eye creatures (coco? i forgot lol)

badboyhalo absolutely fucking DEMOLISHING the battleship event on like 2 hours of sleep and a dream

wuant(?) stealing a tv from the battleship event and then playing portuguese ice age on it for the crows lmfao

tubbo djing for his team while waiting for the time for a goose gambit

theguill CRASHING THROUGH THE FUCKING CEILING of the raccoon team's hidey hole like the fucking kool aid man in a last effort to save his team and 4v1 or 5v1 ing team raccoon; he lost but that was such an epic fucking moment

theguill and etoiles pvping and each hyping the other's skills the entire time

seapeekay escaping cellbit and baghera and then stealing their boats and rocketing past to tease them about it; that shit was iconic

kenny going mad with power collecting sand on literally day 1

the english speaking squirrels taking actual physical notes on portuguese phrases (i think)

lgbtiba

i may add more this is an off the top of my head list but like got DAMN i like these events :D i like them a lot

[trashcanwithsprinkles]

This might be a bit random but would you say you have any thoughts on Neurodivergent readings of Zhongli (more specifically autistic)? I was thinking about it in the latest chapter of JG amd even before then too. as an autistic person myself i feel he reads very heavily as such, especially when talking about his human mask and feeling like he doesn't need to force it as much with childe, and his issues with human expression in smiling etc. but I think it's then an interesting debate between that and the fact that, well, he's just not human. that all comes from a place of being an entirely different species, unevolved and unrelated to human brains and how they think and read social patterns, and I feel we don't really have any way of telling if ZL has any divergent tendencies among dragons right? and even then he's half, too, so that affects things.

anyway sorry for the ramble I was mainly wondering if you had any opinions on the matter, or if you intended the parallels I definitely see while reading your Zhongli! love your work as always <3333

i think i might've commented on this at some point but never directly, so here – i do have thoughts on the matter!

as you mentioned, it's difficult to tell with characters that aren't human, because you can't call something 'neurodivergent' if the bases for their neurotypical-ity are not the ones by which we measure this stuff. so, to me, ALL non-human characters are neurodivergent-coded. they may not be neurodivergent, technically speaking (like how you mentioned, maybe all dragons are just like zl), but to us, they read as such. so, coded. ultimately i do think there is merit in labeling them as neurodivergent because, even if they, again, technically aren't; we are going to run into problems if we attempt to treat them as neurotypical, so we might as well say yeah, neurodivergent. it is also kinda correct anyway – they do diverge from us. that's a fact. it's like saying dogs are colorblind. if all dogs see in the same range, then you can't say your dog in specific is colorblind (unless it actually is but that's beside the point); but compared to us, from our perspective, for what it matters to us and how that will translate into how we treat them then yes! dogs are colorblind! i think i mentioned it once in conjunction with characters like alhaitham. to me, zhongli is neurodivergent-coded, while alhaitham is neurodivergent straight-up. because (as far as we know) he's human, so his brain should, in theory, be like ours.

as for which flavor of neurodivergency zl is coded to have in specific i would agree with you on autism! but then again, i'm not an expert on these things, i don't know the exact ins and outs and the specific characteristics that constitute an autistic character – i just write them the way i perceive them, with the quirks i perceive them to have. not to get preachy but i think that's the better way to write characters in general, since that's how real people work, after all. people with autism aren't born fitting some parameters that will make them autistic – they're born with specific quirks that we then interpret as autism, and even then you don't necessarily get two people having the exact same experience with this. most of these terms are umbrella terms regardless as to how well-defined or how big or small the umbrella is.

so yeah!

[siribunbun]

Happy birbday, Kaveh <33333

[tohruies]

HNY friends !! please hold out your palms and take this .. ♡

i think i very often talk about how kind and loving my friends are on here to me though there will never be enough opportunities for myself to thank you for sharing with me a piece of your heart .. but here in this post … i would just like to celebrate you, if that is okay. the goodness of your heart that you show others, the effort you put in and the will that you muster up to do good and be kind even when you may be feeling like poop. perhaps you might even compare your kindness to others !! maybe it feels like you’re not doing enough !! but i would like remind you that the ways in which we are kind looks a little bit different on each person. and that no amount of kindness shown is ever in vain. and it never ever goes to waste, even if it feels like it may not be appreciated by whoever you are trying to share your love with.

and i think !! i think it is very easy to feel like this — like your efforts may not be noticed, or that you’re falling short. but every single act of kindness ripples out into the world in ways you might not even see yourself 🦋 in fact, this is usually the case! no matter if the way you love others is through big, grand gestures to surprise, or through quiet support — small gestures that can go unnoticed, it is all an act of kindness !!! and it is all equally valuable ♡

and you know ! i see it !! as a chronic noticer LOL i see it all !!! i see all the kindness you share with others — surprise gifts, an ask to let someone know you’re thinking about them, tags and comments you leave on people’s posts and fics, dedicating a piece of writing to someone, even just … clicking the heart button ♥︎ i see it all, and i know for a fact that if i do, then so many others do too !! we see all the ways in which you share your heart with others, and i am certain that so many people are grateful for you. i know i am ! and i just wanted tooooo. thank you ! 🤗 for showing up however you can, and loving others in your own special unique way because it really does make this wretched world we live in brighter !! and kinder ! with each sweet act you offer. and this new year i so sincerely hope that you can count on that kindness to be returned to you 10 fold 🥺 100 fold, even !!! even when it seems like it couldn’t be further from the truth ( it is NOT !! you always reap what you sow ) though it may take some time, i know for certain that that love will come flying your way . so please ! please !! please believe it TT ! and i hope !! i hope you will let me play a part in returning that love you so freely share 💘💘 okay okay okay sorry this is enough i’m done i’m holding you all so gently THANK YOU i love youuu i love you i just STARTED CRYING AGAIN A THIRD TIME WRITING THI S WEUIRRB 😭 everyone is just so precious and special and loving in their own way 💗 and i think that’s so beautiful 💗 and it makes me cry happy tears !!!! 💗💗💗 happy new year once again my precious friends !!!!!

[skitskatdacat63]

FINALLY I HAVE PORTRAITS OF ALL THREE OF THEM AT THE SAME TIME

First of all, please imagine their dynamic as: weird sex thing(Rüß/Noir) and their third(Seren.) More complicated than that obviously but, I think that's the funniest way to describe it. Though there's some basic info here if you're curious. Eclipse is here in spirit(I like the last portrait I drew of her too much to attempt another for now.)

Note about their characters that I thought was too long for the tags. Seeing them together reminds me of how pleased I am about how organically they formed as a group. I don't know if anyone else has this problem, but I feel like when you want to give your OCs relationships(friends, family, enemies, lovers, etc), the characters formed from that desire have a hard time evolving out of that role. For a while, or unfortunately forever, they're just: [character's] friend, [character's] brother, etc, rather than their own "person."

However, these guys, their dynamic formed almost completely naturally. Seren is a really old character, she's from before I even started building the foundation of my OC AU; she was actually from my first attempt to create some sort of world(which has been changed a lot to integrate into my main AU now.) Noir was created after the period where I made a lot of my foundational OCs, but she was basically created just to fill the "big bad wolf" role to compliment a red riding hood type character. Rüß was created after the AU had been officially established, and I thought, hey wouldn't it be kinda cool if she was friends with these other two random OCs? And then they became really important characters with lore which soooooo many things hinge upon LOL

But yeah, to have all these established characters, already with personalities, histories and preexisting connections of their own to come together so naturally?? It's just really neat to me still how it all worked out. Funny though how I spent so many years trying to create all these characters, to fill these relationship spaces, only for my most important characters to come together as a unit randomly, and to add to that, my most important ship to swoop in and form completely on a whim (<- the way Eclipoir formed is equally as organic, and almost more impressive to me.)(I don't want this to come off as "Oh look how smart I am," more that it baffles even me the creator how randomly these characters came together after, like I said, so much time spent trying to manually build up relationships.)

[bowtiepasta]

i’ve gone through the entire spectrum of emotions today and maybe even unlocked a new one i have to be deficient in some vitamin

[mitchmotch]

happy valentine's day to lesbians everywhere but especially these two

serene (he/they/she), iyana (she/her)