#how does merlin function

[llovely]

who needs dialogue because WHAT in the EYE CONTACT arthur are u in love or smth 🫣

[patolemus]

Okay but imagine Arthur gaslighting himself into loving Merlin lmao

Merthur hc that Arthur doesn't know about Merlins magic because he's too in love to be smart. Merlij does a spell in front of him and Arthur sees the gold? That's just he sun hitting them just right (he's very lucky the sun hits just right ALL the time) and when there's no sun he just think he's so in gay that he begin thinking about Merlins eyes when golden so much that must be why they're gold when there is NO sun AND NO other reason then Merlin having Magic in this situation. He just thinks oh God I'm so helplessly in love with this IDIOT

[merlinmylove]

I have an idea for a Merlin fic but life is chaos so I cannot write it:

So for whatever reason Arthur is away (probably visiting some Lord or Nobel House) and Merlin stays behind (who knows why).

Uthers manservant is ill so he requests Merlin (after all he’s the crown prince’s manservant he should be good enough for the king).

Merlin is now stuck as Uthers servant for a week and I really want to see Merlin try to wake the King up with “rise and shine!! :D”

He talks too much and is entirely too familiar with the King, taking liberties and speaking out of turn, mentioning Arthur by name and not title, is always late with lunch but somehow…

Uther finds him fascinating. He knows Merlin is completely loyal to Arthur (he said so himself in the show). He understands Merlin hears castle gossip like most staff, but he is actually able to understand the significance behind the rumours. Merlin is also trusted by the knights and has insight into the lords and ladies of the court. He sees things, he hears things. Uther can use this

As a physician in training, he is able to treat Uthers old knee injury, and he is clearly learned. He can read and write better than some of the noblemen he’s met. One day Uther enters his chambers and finds Merlin bent over the desk looking over the grain reports “did you notice Lord Chester had been underreporting his grain storage for three years and is selling it under the table to a foreign king?”

Merlin is a terrible manservant…but Uthers clothing had never been cleaner, his armour so polished, his bathwater so hot and his notes so organised. Merlin is continuously late and covered in mud or moss, but somehow Uther finds he doesn’t mind as long as Merlin keeps feeding him important castle gossip.

Arthur gets Merlin back at the end of the week, and Merlin can finally breathe (he’s been a nervous wreck for the last seven days). Uthers servant recovers and the King has a functional servant again as is befitting his station.

But Uther is now willing to overlook some of Merlin’s …ridiculousness and familiarity with Arthur…after all, he’s realised Merlin does have some uses, even though he’s always late with breakfast.

Scenes like this:

“You’re the clumsiest excuse for a servant I’ve ever met!”

“Yes, Arthur says I have the elegance of a newborn lamb”

“Why is there a twig in your hair? It’s unbefitting of your station as servant of the King”

“I fell asleep in a ditch, anyways have you heard Lady Carteret has been seen buying hemlock at the apothecary? I’m sure Lord Carteret is soon to be missing, poor sod”

“Can you never bring me my breakfast on time?!”

“Sorry Sire, the poison tester died this morning after drinking your tea, so I had to brew it myself, and we’re in need of a new poison tester. And in totally unrelated news Lord Milder was seen fleeing the castle”

“Rise and shine!! The sun is up and you should be too!”

“Is this really how you wake your King? And where the hell is my breakfast!”

“Well Arthur usually throws a pillow at me even though it’s my job to wake him in the morning - that lazy arse!”

[saladscream]

Anatomy of a Manservant (final part)

Merlin’s arse is adequate.

One can only assume.

There is nothing inherently wrong with it, Arthur muses. Neither spectacularly hideous nor epically callipygian. It’s just an arse. A firm, slim, functional, male arse. Arthur has certainly never lost sleep over it. As it were.

No, the thing that makes Arthur slightly befuddled this evening as he walks into his chambers is: why is he getting such an unexpectedly closer view of said arse wriggling at eye-level? And by his bedside?

His blurted ‘Merlin, the HELL're you doing?!’ will never convey the magnitude of his dismay.

But the arse freezes guiltily, awkwardly suspended mid-air as Merlin, precariously balanced on the armrests of a seat, is interrupted in his suspicious endeavours to mess with the elaborate canopy atop Arthur’s bed. An eye and a cheekbone peer over Merlin’s shoulder and gaze self-consciously down on Arthur who is doing his best judgemental posture, hands on hips with the dose of affronted pout and frown.

The ensuing, not-so-enlightening exchange unfolds thusly:

“Merlin?” the prince prompts primly.

“I’m retrieving an apple.”

“An apple. Up there?”

“It’s a long story.”

“Of course it is.” Whereupon Arthur gives his manservant his most aggressively toothy, mock-sweet grin. “Get down.”

And Merlin does, only not in the way either of them expects as the seat topples sideways, sending Merlin’s booted feet one way while his wide-eyed noggin tumbles in the opposite direction. There’s a split instant where it looks like he is going to crack his head open on the bedside table, so Arthur just reacts on sheer instincts – and ends up with an armful of Merlin, princess-style.

What follows is an uncomfortable amount of breathing and blinking, from both participants. No one says anything, because from a silly bit of mundane acrobatics, things could have escalated to tragically stupid death right there in Arthur’s chambers and they both know it.

After surviving countless bandits’ ambushes, bloody battlefields, and terrifying encounters with magical beasts, Arthur isn’t sure he could have forgiven Merlin for accidentally dying on him falling from a fucking chair. Something tightens painfully in his chest at the dreadful thought, even as his fingers clench and dig into the infuriating man now more or less reclining in his arms.

Amid the icy churning fear at the unnervingly close call and the boiling, unthinking anger at the idiocy of the predicament, a criminally indulgent part of Arthur takes the time to idly wallow in the experience of carrying the dear, lanky bane of his existence. There is a soft, sweet, familiar commotion in his heart as he bears the full weight of him, feels the warmth of this body, counters the pull of those long, dangling limbs. One of Merlin’s hands is reflexively gripping the back of Arthur’s shoulder for support, and that too feels lovely in a completely irrelevant way. And so, Arthur remains rooted to the spot, a conflicted prey to a slew of contradictory emotions that he has no apt name for.

The breathy, confused, but not-quite-sheepish ‘thanks’ that Merlin murmurs damn near finishes him.

“Merlin, you idiot!” Arthur snarls through gritted teeth.

He should drop the man on his thoughtless, bony arse is what he should do. And probably give him a half-hearted kick in the thigh for added effect. How dare Merlin be so aggravatingly incautious, anyway? He could have died, the insufferable clod. He could have injured what serves as his stupid, careless brain. And where would that have left Arthur?

There’s a black, frightful chasm opening up in his soul just thinking about it. Because it’s not just that he somewhat fancies the braies off his manservant, is it. It’s not even about how appealing Merlin is or the temptation he represents to Arthur’s starved, unchaste instincts. It’s about so much more.

Merlin isn’t merely a sum of engaging physical attributes. Admittedly, he does have deep, beautiful eyes and perfect, luscious lips. He does have oddly sensual hands and troublingly suggestive forearms. His throat is as eminently lickable as his hair is strokable. And his cock, from all unreliable accounts, is enviably large. But no matter whether Arthur’s regal endurance wavers at the idea of becoming more intimately acquainted with Merlin’s hard chest, long legs and cute ears.

All these things have never been at the root of Arthur’s complicated feelings for Merlin. These things have never been more than the pesky, unsubtle trimmings adorning the core of inexpressible admiration, fragile longing and unmentionable love that have resided in Arthur’s fortress of a heart since the day the two men so inauspiciously met.

Because Merlin is not just physically attractive in his own right, he’s also the annoyingly loyal friend who follows Arthur wherever he goes, regardless of how dangerous it gets. Merlin is the argumentative prat who gives Arthur his opinion whether it is welcome or not. Merlin is the brave fool who think he’s discreet in his well-meaning, not-as-secret-as-he thinks use of magic, even though it could earn him the stake. Merlin is also the irredeemable ass who thinks it is absolutely fine to prank a crown prince. But most importantly, Merlin is the loving man who always wants to hug Arthur and makes the bad things go away. And no one has ever truly, freely wanted to be and do all of these things for Arthur before.

So it’s not mere frivolous infatuation that makes Arthur’s heart startle and stumble in his chest every so often. It is far more than that, actually.

And it is at this point in Arthur’s laborious epiphany, that Merlin’s quiet ‘Arthur, I think you can put me down now,’ brings him back to reality. He drops Merlin abruptly and watches him bounce and flop onto the bed. The slate blue eyes shine with humour and affection and also just a hint of concern.

To which Arthur can only mutter a tart ‘Why do I even put up with you?’

Merlin scowls and lobs back something about him being the only one willing to do the rotten job. And then he sits up and proceeds to remove his boots, much to Arthur’s suddenly febrile puzzlement.

Arthur’s brain has another one of those weird hiccoughs as a dark, debauched and extremely deluded part of it considers, for a very brief but very vivid interlude, that Merlin might be undressing so that they may let the simmering tension that has become a defining feature of their friendship lead them to its natural but unwise carnal conclusion.

But of course, Merlin is only taking off his filthy boots so that he doesn’t soil the opulent bedclothes as he stands on the bed to chase the damn forsaken apple. He thwaps the fruit out of the canopy from underneath and it bounces off of Arthur’s head, like a punchline straight out of Gwaine’s jokes.

Merlin snorts and grins unapologetically – until Arthur grabs him by the front of his tunic and drags him off the mattress.

All yanked-up close, Merlin’s eyes look huge and alert, but not worried. There’s a quiver of something flitting across his lips and a faint flush over his cheeks. He swallows and whispers a low ‘Sorry, that was not on purpose.’

Arthur is keenly aware of it. Keenly aware of everything that Merlin is or isn’t and does or doesn’t do. He always has been. Much like he’s always been aware of the half-looks and half-smiles that Merlin has always trained on him unobtrusively. All the unfinished gestures and untold truths. All the hidden attachment and concealed devotion. All the forbidden things Merlin has been and done for Arthur over the years.

“Do it again and suffer the consequences,” Arthur warns quietly.

“Is that a promise?” Merlin says, the words gently teasing.

At such close quarters and with Merlin standing on nothing but socked feet, they gaze into each other’s eyes in a way that feels unusually intimate, and perhaps that is why Arthur is able to see more than what he usually sees. For once, the inner workings of Merlin’s feelings seem a little bared, and they’re made of selflessness, patience, love and inevitability – all eased with a dash of dry humour and easy lust.

Arthur is many things, but a coward he is not. And though his heart threatens to hammer its way out of his ribcage, he tightens his hold on Merlin’ s tunic and leans in to finally express the depth and might of his gigantic lack of discernment the only way he knows how: with a breathless press of his lips to Merlin’s.

The rest of the scene is rather predictable and probably not worth the gentle reader's time. Let it be simply known that a lot of impatient, clumsy groping and ravenous, inelegant kissing ensues.

Fortunately for them, Merlin is amenable to taking it from there and giving Arthur the full, comprehensive tour of the anatomy of his manservant. It is a thorough, athletic affair that lasts until dawn, but by the end of it, Arthur is privy to all the soft ticklish nooks and dark sensitive crannies, all the sweet, earthy or briny tastes, all the rough, puckered or silky textures. And in return, Merlin learns that he is loved and treasured beyond the shadow of a doubt, and that Arthur is a noisy lover – vocal during intercourse and babbling after the deed.

As they fall asleep, Arthur’s hand amorously cups Merlin’s slightly sticky arse. An arse that is more than merely adequate, if truth be told.

Stupendous would be more like it. Just like the rest of Merlin.

*Fin*

[And that, folks, is the end of this mini-series!! I want to thank you all for liking ❤️, reblogging 🔁, commenting 💬, and generally cheering me on. 💖💖💖

I would never have written so many parts if I hadn't been encouraged to do so by your feedback and infectious enthusiasm. If anyone needs an example of how supporting and showing love to a writer can make a difference to the amount of fic they write, this is certainly it! 😅🥹❤️

I'm hoping I can post a properly edited (and illustrated??) full version of this series on AO3 in the not-too-distant future.]

Tagged: @miyriu @neptunesyellowsands @dollopole @shuukichan @merlininthedogpark @kintsugikid-moonysversion @toomanyfanficsbruh @blueliketheclues @solnishkomoon @evedaser @storigami @bertytravelsfar @graceless-angel @knightswaypoint @bivirtualtrash

The full story is now available on AO3 😊

Anatomy of a Manservant

1 - Merlin's eyes

2 - Merlin's lips

3 - Merlin's hands

4 - Merlin's throat

5 - Merlin's hair

6 - Merlin's ears

7 - Merlin's legs

8 - Merlin's forearms

9 - Merlin's chest

10 - Merlin's penis

[inkyarcturus]

CW: underage drinking, being drunk

More teen Harry Severitus antics:

The two had grown closer in the past year or two, its 6th year and everything seems to be calmer to an extent. They come up with a schedule where Harry goes to meet up with Severus on a weekly basis.

It started as extra defense or occlumency lessons but turns into a glorified excuse to be in one another’s presence.

That day, the Gryffindor are throwing an after Quidditch victory party. Harry tells Severus that he won’t meet up with him, wanting to spend his time as a normal teenager for once. All Severus does is nod, quietly disappointed but not enough to make it known.

There’s drinks involved, so so many drinks have been smuggled into the common room and there’s is a 100% chance that someone already spiked the pumpkin juice.

At least three Gryffindor are using the couch as a mock stage for their spontaneous band, singing songs the entire time Harry is there. The music is so loud everyone has to basically scream to be heard despite being right next to one another.

Harry’s using this as an excuse to lay back, relax a little after all the events of the previous days, weeks, months, years, honestly his entire life at this point. So he gets a little reckless, drinking 1 shot, then 2, then 3, and surely he’s down like 6 shots by now. By the end he’s come to the brilliant realization that he is a light weight.

Cursing his childhood starvation which caused his stunted height and forgetfulness (he forgot to eat earlier) he’s essentially bumbling around like an idiot.

He is plastered out of his mind and the brightly colored lights, loud music, screaming, touching, everything about the party is suddenly too much for him. All he wants is his dad. The silence of the dungeons, the soft glow of a fire place and the comfort of his room that Severus had made specifically for him during the summer.

Before he knows it he’s out of the common room, shutting the portrait and leaving all the noise behind him. He’s dazedly walking, functioning on muscle memory alone to bring him to Severus’s quarters.

He wasn’t even thinking about the possible consequences of an adult figuring out that he was drunk.

Thankfully, (or maybe unthankfully) Harry runs right into Severus on his walk to the dungeons, not even noticing him in his drunken stupor. Severus wraps his arms around him automatically.

“And what are you doing out past curfew so far away from the lions den, Mr. Potter?” the professor drawled out, still keeping his hold on Harry.

The drunk child squints up at him, “Dad? When did you get here?”

Before the man can stop himself, his hold tightens in shock at the title. Quickly grabbing his wand from his holster he performs a diagnostic spell.

0.145 Blood Alcohol Content

Merlin this boy does not do things by halves.

He sighs in relief however, “idiot boy.”

While the results were troubling and he would be taking points, giving him detention and a lecture tomorrow, it was nothing that couldn’t be fixed within a day. He had gotten used to the boy only using that title in traumatizing, near death scenarios. It was comforting to know that the child could use it unbidden outside of those contexts.

Deciding that the best solution is to simply bring him to their quarters as the Gryffindor tower was farther and likely still had the party going on, they head off.

Severus practically carries Harry back to the quarters. At first he tried simply guiding him with a hand on his back, but Harry’s lack of coordination was too painful to watch for long.

He opens the doors to their make shift home, laying Harry on the couch while he goes to grab some water in the hopes that it sobers him up a little.

As the professor goes to the kitchen, Harry’s gaze is glued to the fire place, mesmerized by its flames. His sitting in silence, contrary to how he usually behaves when near the man. He only reacts when the Professor returns with the glass of water and a slice of buttered toast to eat.

“Eat you foolish child, it’s a wonder you haven’t blacked out yet,” he pinches the bridge of his nose, “nothing in your system and you decide to drink enough to knock out a hippogriff. I should withhold the hangover drought from you in the morning.”

The threat is empty. He knows he couldn’t stand seeing the-this-his boy in pain for any longer than absolutely necessary.

Harry doesn’t respond to his comments, being unable to focus on them because of the intoxication. He finishes his toast and water though. Apparently that was all his body had energy left for, choosing the couch as the perfect bed for the night. He lays down and curls up, staring up at his guardian.

Severus huffs but procures a blanket and some pillows for him, far too susceptible to his sad dog eye look. When Harry frowns and makes a small hand gesture towards him, non verbally asking that he tucks him in, the man obliges, hushing him while he does so.

Just like that the teen is out like a light.

The guardian removes his glasses and puts them off to the side. He brushes Harrys bangs off his face as he listens to the slow crackle of the fire and their combined breaths.

“What am I going to do with you?” Despite the words, there’s no mistaking the fondness in his tone.

He leaves the room, shutting off the light after one last look to make sure his boy was breathing.

[cinnamontoastcrunch-15]

HELLO I moved last week and I have no WiFi or service in my flat (posting from a coffee shop) so I apologise for the lack of posting.

However, this was meant to be for today's wolfstarmicrofic prompt Basilisk, but it's officially much too long because I've missed writing to post lmao, so it's not a microfic.

(Ravenclaw Remus AU.)

"Lupin, you're patrolling with..." Moody flicks quickly through his notes, "Black."

"Oh, er... Alright," he says with a shrug, trying to pass himself off as calm.

Internally? Every single alarm is going off in his head.

Remus never exactly... spoke to Sirius Black, or his friends. Ravenclaws and Gryffindors aren't really destined to interact, and Remus would have chosen death over joining the Quidditch team. That didn't stop him from being one of far too many people in the school that had a major minor crush on Sirius.

Sure, he knew that Sirius had grown up rich and pampered. He always held himself in this way that made him seem ten times more important than everyone else. That wasn't exactly helped by the fact that he was a Gryffindor. Lily, Mary and Marlene were the only Gryffindors Remus has ever really tolerated. The rest are all pretentious as fuck. Everyone knows that.

Still, for some reason, his brain would short circuit whenever he was so much in the same room as Sirius. He still lays awake at night, humiliated about the time he accidentally caught Sirius' eyes and tripped over the bench in the Great Hall.

Joining the Order wasn't even a question for him. Anything to help them win the war. He hadn't exactly expected Sirius to do the same, but it just makes him feel like he's back in school. Frustratingly enough for him, Sirius has only gotten more attractive in the year since they've left school. It hasn't really mattered until now, though. He's been pretty successful in avoiding him. It's probably helped by the fact that he isn't even on Sirius' radar, but this? He's going to set the strangest first impression on the planet.

There's nothing he can do about it, though.

That's how Remus finds himself waiting outside the Order house, fidgeting with an unlit cigarette.

"Hey, Remus!"

There he is.

Remus looks up, shoving the cigarette back into the carton. Sirius has stopped in front of him, running a hand through his hair and grinning at Remus.

Leather jackets look weird on literally everyone other than him.

Remus has to jostle his brain into functioning. He blinks once, before finally mustering a polite smile.

"Hi. Should we get going?"

"Yeah. Yeah, let's go."

They walk in silence for a while, moving from spot to spot and taking the odd note.

Until Sirius decides he's done with all of that.

"Y'know, I was hoping you'd join the Order."

"Sorry?" Remus practically stops in his tracks, turning to Sirius with wide eyes. Shock ripples through him.

Hoping?

"I mean, I had a feeling you would. I'm just... glad you did, I guess."

"I didn't even know you knew I existed," Remus confesses quickly.

Sirius actually does stop moving, grabbing Remus' forearm and stopping him too.

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, really. You existed on this... separate plane. I mean, you were you. Everyone knew about you. Why would I be on your radar?"

"Remus," Sirius says slowly, eyes boring into Remus'. It sends a shiver down Remus' spine. "All I did was think about you."

"What?" Remus sputters, a strange mixture of confusion and shock overwhelming him.

"Oh, I had such a crush on you." He shrugs like it's nothing; like what he just said hasn't turned Remus' entire world on its axis. "I thought that was obvious, I mean... you're bloody brilliant. Ravenclaw prefect, running a study group-"

"I can't believe you've even given me a second thought," Remus says, a little breathless.

"Merlin, I did. I remember telling James that I'd fight a Basilisk for you." Sirius chuckles to himself, but Remus is losing control over his own responses scarily quickly. "I know you couldn't stand me, but-"

"Who said that?"

"Nobody had to." Sirius watches Remus, a little puzzled. "You're not the biggest fan of Gryffindors, right?"

Well, he's not wrong.

"Besides, you couldn't stay in the same room as me. You literally fell over yourself trying to get away from me before."

"Oh, God," Remus mutters under his breath, his face heating up uncomfortably. His one comfort has been that Sirius didn't notice him embarrassing himself every time he walked into the room.

"Sorry," Sirius says suddenly, releasing Remus' hand. "I didn't mean to- Christ, I've made things even more awkward, haven't I?"

Huh.

He's not as confident as Remus thought.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean- let's just forget I said that. Finish patrolling."

No.

Remus doesn't want to forget. He needs to do something, before Sirius never speaks to him again.

Hurriedly, he grabs Sirius' hand, pulling him into an alley nearby.

Well, he's committed to it now. No turning back.

"Remus, what-"

He pulls Sirius in by his stupidly perfect jacket and connects their lips before he has a chance to second guess himself.

Thankfully, Sirius wastes no time in falling into the kiss. His lips are soft against Remus', parting just enough for their tongues to meet.

The kiss is everything he could have imagined and more. Sirius is somehow both tentative and eager and he tastes like cinnamon and fuck, Remus may as well have died and gone to heaven. His hand involuntarily slides into Sirius' hair, and he's rewarded with a muffled gasp.

Okay, maybe Gryffindors aren't that bad.

[sneakyboymerlin]

Hello 👋

Do you happen to know where the widely incorrect fandom assumption that Yigraine’s sigil makes Merlin Arthur’s heir started from?

It’s just so ridiculous to me but everyone seems to believe it and I wonder when it started? I see it everywhere and I am very confused.

1. A dead queens sigil has no political importance. In fact no one in Camelot even seems to recognize it in the Excalibur episode.

2. Why would a Du Bois sigil have more power than the Pendargron Royal Seal? 🤨 The only people we explicitly see it being handed off too are Agravaine or Gwen.

3. It actually also doesn’t mean anything marriage wise either while I’m at it - you’d have to give someone your own personal sigil for that.

Like it’s a nice moment, Arthur is giving Merlin something personal when he thinks he’s about to die but where did all the random fandom crap come from??

Ah, it must’ve gained popularity around 2020, more or less… I remember the specific gifset of the deleted scene where people theorized that it technically gave Merlin some sort of political power, and the fanon took off from there.

Arthur never even makes Merlin an advisor at the Round Table, he never offers him any sort of recognition beyond the occasional acknowledgment of his conveniently timed wisdom, I truly do not think he was offering Merlin an advisor position with this gesture. It would certainly be an odd choice to make only when Arthur is going to die. I want you to be… my uncle’s advisor, but I don’t want you sitting at the council when I’m there, lol.

I think that it’s meant purely as a memento. Merlin and Arthur have bonded in the past over Arthur’s dead mother + Merlin’s missing father. The sigil functions as a callback to this connection and a way to show that Arthur is in fact preparing to die and aware of how this will affect Merlin. He’s attempting to express that he does value Merlin as a friend, though he has never said it outright (or shown it…).

But yeah, anyone will know that Merlin is not actually a member of the Du Bois line. Unless Arthur intended to make Merlin his ward in more official terms like Uther did with Morgana, I doubt that there is any political/material gain for Merlin from this.

[kaoszkutato]

Merlin Bird ID poll

Ha az otthonod ablakában állva fél percig futtatod a Merlin Bird ID app "Sound ID" funkcióját, akkor hány különböző madárfaj hangját ismeri fel?

If you stand at the window of your home and run the "Sound ID" function of the Merlin Bird ID app for half a minute, how many different bird species does it recognize?

[regulusrules]

FIC RECS: Tore apart my sanity edition

Missed doing those, especially that the brilliance of this fandom is quite endless. You'd think you've read everything, then a fic comes and makes you stare two ceilings above. I think we all have PhDs in ceiling reading at this point.

1. through storm and hellfire by @prattery.

Look, I know I scream a lot about fics, but this time it's so rightfully, I swear. There is something about this one that just unravels you so fully, so reverently. It was a spiritual experience; reading this fic. Anything written by this author is a spiritual experience. If you're new to my blog, you will soon know that I fall apart for such beautiful prose so easily. And the way Arthur was written here.. holy lord in the sky. I haven't survived this fic as of yet (weeks later). It was not Merlin who got kidnapped here; it's our literal hearts.

2. you hold a knife at my throat (i tell you exactly where to cut) by @nextstopparis.

All I can say is that I found this one on the night of my final MA exam and risked failing because I stayed up till dawn reading it. And guess what? I'd do it a hundred times over. Because this fic killed me 🤩 With a knife knowing exactly where to cut 🤩

Whenever it's Protective!Arthur that is as much consumed by Merlin's safety as Merlin was with his, then know I am absolutely and utterly gone. And everything that comes with Arthur teaching Merlin how to wield weapons and its close proximity trope. Oh boy. I was literally killed, I'm telling you.

3. Of Course Falling in Love is Awful. Why Else Would They Call It a Crush? by watchriverdale.

Respectfully, how does this marvel of a fic have less than a thousand reads?? If I may, it's one of the best AU - Canon Divergence that I've read in so long! Merlin being an actual physician, Arthur making silly excuses to go visit Merlin and it ending up for him falling head over heels, BAMF elements of both, just everything! Absolutely AMAZING. And the full circle at the end; what an icon.

4. The Walls of Camelot by spqr. (@andthepeople)

I'm literally not joking when I say my brain function grew and developed more after reading this fic. It was so fully-fledged in a way you don't find in literal published books. The amount of creativity and research combined in this fic.. WOW! You just literally live the war with them, all emotions entangled, all thoughts experienced. I think I had the hardest time processing that the fic ended more than anything else because of how invested I was in the story. I didn't want it to end. It was a wonderful, wonderful ride.

5. I suppose that I look different (without the robes and crown) by WingedWolf121. (@lancelotofthelake)

You know when fic writers begin to narrate Arthur through Merlin's eyes and describe him as golden? That is what I would say as the overall feel of this fic. I felt it radiating gold and beauty. It was unmatched, truly. From the AU idea to its execution.. I was hooked all 18K. I'd give it 18K kudos of my own alone. And the way it was written !!! Please. Any Arthur who just loves Merlin a tad too much is unparalleled. And when the same energy is returned by Merlin >>>

Oh and lastly: “Ask me who you were there to me, Merlin.” I'll leave you at that.

+ 1: My heart is readily yours by yours truly.

Have I mentioned how much this one tore my own sanity apart while writing it? (yes. yes I already have like a thousand times, tell me to shut up about it already). But it's for good reason. I am a changed human being after this fic. For better or for worse, I'm still not sure about that.

[celery-the-stick]

Okay I have an extremely hot take on Uther. A boiling hot take if you will. The depths of hell hot take.

I don't think Uther was as bad a guy as we all generalize him to be.

YES THE MAN'S AN ASSHOLE I am not disagreeing with that. He's committed genocide and cheated on his wife, neither of which are excusable.

HOWEVER (welcome to my Ted Talk), it's really important to think about his character from its roots.

Uther grew up with magic. Until Arthur's birth, magic was a normal part of life in Camelot and surrounding kingdoms. When he realized Ygraine couldn't bear a child, he asked Nimueh if magic could help and she said yes. It's kind of unclear if Uther knew it would take another life to give him a son but it's really clear that he didn't know it would be Ygraine. (Excalibur has an interaction between Nimueh and Uther that shows this; Uther says "you knew it would kill her" and later, "Nimueh told me there would be a price to pay".)

Based off of this, it's safe to say that if Uther didn't know about the life for a life rule – after experiencing it firsthand – he could be reluctant to save someone on the verge of death, especially with magic involved

THIS IS WHY in episode 4, the poisoned chalice, I believe Uther crushes the flower and throws it on the floor. His son, his only son might I add, risked his life for a servant. He must have sensed something magical, even before Gaius tells him Nimueh was there. He didn't want Arthur to give Merlin the flower because he was scared it would work the same as the trade.

My next point is that I don't think Uther would be homophobic. (I promise it's connected lol).

Many people think Uther had traditional values, but his values about magic changed in an instant when Arthur was born.

In the 6th century, (the time when the Arthurian legend is kind of told to take place), the Bible was just coming out. Because it wasn't super out there yet, not even translated into most languages, there's no misinterpretation of the "boy shall not lie with man" line. This means a modern version of homophobia isn't possible.

Because Arthur was royalty, I think Uther would probably care about extending the bloodline, as one at this time would do with their only son. I think Uther would actually be okay with Arthur fooling around with whoever he wanted as long as he had a wife or someone to continue the bloodline with (sounds really really strange I know, stay with me here lol)

The only thing Uther would have a traditional value on in this sense is the servant-royalty dynamic, as seen with Arthur and Gwen.

ON TOP OF THAT I think Uther actually really likes Merlin!!!!!!!!!!!!

He would 100% have the authority to say "I hired this boy and now I'm firing him" no matter what anyone says, (hell, he even tried to fire Gaius). But he DOESNT!!! It's shown in Excalibur that he actually really appreciates Merlin being around for Arthur and recognizes how devoted he is to him.

All in all, it's really really important to cross reference with the time period, references, and behavior to see where a character is coming from. Uther doesn't just do these things because "OOPS, accidentally killed my wife!! I'm blaming it on you!!", he does it out of fear and love for his child(ren).

Being a parent is hard. You only have one chance to turn this baby into a functioning adult and Uther didn't really do a good job, but he tried. Even if "trying" means committing genocide because he doesn't want his son to go through the same pain he did.

I could go into how Morgana was exactly the same as Uther but on the other side of the scale, but I'll leave that for another essay.

If you read this far please feel free to critique!!! I've been building this thought in my head for months and new stuff just keeps coming to me lol

[cillyscribbles]

pendragon showdown: who would've won?

tl;dr:

real pendragon showdown result: love wins (very briefly)

hypothetical pendragon showdown result: eeeh. probably guinevere

so. my reasoning! here's things we know (/i remember) about every pendragon:

arthur

gun: one revolver. it's the x.caliber, but that alone probably doesn't have much over other guns. he takes it from nimue & later murders sheriff stone with it. i'm assuming taking camelot was the intended Special Purpose & the reason arthur is so attached to it. (he's "more gentle with [it] than he ever is with [lancelot]". i love that line. fucking comedian.) this is also implied by merlin in the stories, thank you merlin.

in short, let us assume the gun is not special in any mechanical way. the rest of what it does in the story is Not shoot guinevere or lancelot, and then presumably melt under The Concentrated Power Of The Sun. unless morderd put it in the capsule with arthur. in which case, it probably froze under The Concentrated Power Of The Vacuum Of Space.

speed: safely in the middle. he's the last one to shoot in the gunfight at the dolorous guard ("finally, there's arthur"), but we can probably assume it's because of song reasons, and maybe all the staring he and stone were doing at each other. it's given that he's slower than gwen, and it's also said he "could beat [lancelot] on speed", so. middle.

guinevere

gun: a very fast one, presumably. lol. probably also a revolver? (personal hc is she uses two revolvers, but that's beside the point.) so let's assume sixshooter! functionally her setup is the same as arthur's.

speed: basically her main character trait. she's faster than both arthur and lancelot.

lancelot

gun: he shoots rifled slugs, so safe to say he's using a rifle.

speed: reasonably the slowest shot re: the other two. depending on what kind of rifle he's using, he might need to reload, but since he lays out like 4 stones in a couple lines of the gunfight and doesn't get shot by the rest in the time it takes, i'm guessing he's got something that shoots multiple without reload.

to be entirely fair, it's possible - and probably more practical - that he has a sidepiece and that's what he's using when he's in close-range. this is also probably the only instance in which he'd pose any threat to guinevere & arthur. but since we only get mention of slugs and arthur draws faster than him in close-range too (re: above), let's just assume rifle, and he's mad fast with the aim or whatever.

hypotheticals!

almost immediately we can conclude that arthur is fucked, on account of guinevere is going to go for him first. shooting lancelot, who's slower, would not be a smart choice. that's really it. if she shot lancelot first, she'd just be making it easier on arthur on both the 'shooting her' and the 'any conflict he may have about killing his spouses' fronts.

if they all decide to draw simultaneously - which is what i'm presuming here, because which one of them might commit to killing the others first is a different question - then guinevere is inevitably starting the ordeal, and doubtless the survivor is going to have an easier justification of why he shot her. again, seems like shooting arthur is the better move here.

now the events past that mostly really depend on what you think, so i'm just putting forth my thoughts. we can ask here if gwen can shoot two people before lancelot shoots one. if we decide yes, then it's gwen's victory from the beginning and the squabble was a bit pointless. but there's something to be said for it in dolorous guard, where when she first draws, she kills two people in rapid succession ("guinevere draws quickest/her shots are clean and sure/and ezra and ezekiel lie bloodied on the floor") still, for the sake of going further, let's say she can only reliably shoot one.

by the time that's done, lancelot's probably over any inhibitions and is fixing to shoot gwen. this again depends on a couple of things - how quick we think he can be, where's he grabbing his gun from, what gun he's grabbing:

if this is a sidepiece - revolver or whatever - then, yeah, he can probably nail gwen while she's shooting arthur and win that way. lancelot's victory.

if this is a rifle, as we assumed before, i really don't think he'll get it up before gwen lays him out. i can't imagine his accuracy would do him much good in this one - sure, a slug will be nasty close-range and they'd have to close someone's casket, but it won't help speed. lancelot is the slowest out the three of them, and judging by his gun (and the sharpest aim, to a point), he's a marksman. he brought a rifle to a cowboy standoff in dolorous guard. gwen can probably kill him before he can be a threat.

that being said, it's really hard to be definitive. they're all playing mind games with each other, and they know each other way too well to surprise anyone, and that could lead to surprises on its own.

i'd give victory to gwen simply because of how much her speed and ferociousness is stressed in the album - she's the one urging them on, plowing ahead, always first, never hesitating. she shoots a woman in the head four times presumably as an example. when arthur reminisces about his dreams of a better world she literally tells him to stop whining. which is incredibly funny, but it's also very vivid. she does what she has to do, and sometimes she does more, because her hand is fate, her word is law, and you will fear her. if she didn't love as passionately as she fought, i think she might've ended up the captain. a very lonely captain, but you know.

anyway, those are my thoughts. share yours! i'm sure there are different solid interpretations :'>

[thehannibalextendeduniverse]

Adam (2009)

Looking at this now I'm realising how much I wrote on this movie. Mostly because 1. Adam 2. Autism. Also, mild spoilers?

I'm actually so excited to watch this like yes, give me my precious autistic boy. I've read a few reviews on this already so I'm quite intrigued as to how this film will come off to me, being an autistic person myself (if you couldn't tell from the obsessive special interest in Hannibal + anything Hugh/Mads). I think I will be drawing a lot of comparisons to my own experiences with autism. 

The food on the plate being separated is very valid, although the American way of eating tines up has always confused me. I get Adam is American though. Also I fear having tons of the same thing and nothing else because everything is a sensory issue and there's like 5 foods I eat is also accurate. Although I'm more likely to forget to stock up on my food and buy when I run out than have that many in a cupboard at once.

The standing awkwardly and not knowing how to hold your hands is very real.

I get sensory issues from sleeping with a t-shirt/trousers because everything is just way more noticeable when it's dark and quiet and you're trying to fall asleep yk? I do wonder if others have the same problem in that.

The oversharing and explaining topics you know tons about.

I mean they gave Adam kinda stereotypical autism? The guy's good at robots. I think media always tends to translate it to the super nerdy stuff like maths and CS and all that when there's so much you could be interested in. Not everyone has the 'smart' autism, and not everyone's interests are singular or stereotypically science-y. Like I have a friend who's special interest is neuroscience, a couple who love dnd (including me), one who's obsessed with the Magnus Archives and secret codes, and two who very much fit that TV stereotype (both are CS/physics/maths geeks and one loves planes and trains). Personally my autism loves Merlin and Hannibal and Hugh/Mads, and also bones and coins. If you couldn't tell. Also am I taking this opportunity to overshare? Yes this is my blog I can put whatever shit I want on here. I fear the majority of my friends are autistic. Also there's an overlap with my autistic friends and friends who use ao3, I think we all need that hit of fanmade content once the canon media has been wrung dry lol.

OKAY THE SPACE SUIT VALID THAT'S COOL AF. I take it back Adam has multiple interests and not just one singular thing yay for less-stereotypical autistic rep in media ig!

...ngl memorising a video from an interest and repeating it/speaking along with it is an experience I have had many a time.

He's not weird Beth he's just sharing his special interest that's like the equivalent of being nice and sociable.

The missing of social cues lol. Absolutely normal behaviour. I would have tried to balance out the touch if someone's shopping knocked against me though. Anyone else know what I mean?

Oh boy here comes the mild ableism from the other characters... like i'm sorry wdym "...your condition" he can function perfectly fine and do the work having autism doesn't make you a bloody child.

change bad, change stressful, poor adam :(

man just watching this and adam get stressed out is making me stressed.

yeah i know this was made in 2009 and that's why they're calling it aspergers, but fuck Hans Asperger we hate him for being a Nazi. I mean my report still say aspergers on it but like, I don't want no association with him please and thank you.

For a neurotypical person (presumably, from what I've seen/heard there's never been anything abt him being neurodiverse, also I just don't get The Vibe from him, I trust my radar) Hugh Dancy does a pretty darn good job of portraying autism. I think some of the behaviours, when compared to my own experience, are a bit more exaggerated(?) but everyone's experiences on the spectrum are different and I've definitely observed them in other autistic friends + I presume they made some a bit more obviously stereotypically 'autistic' to make it more digestible for film. I could definitely understand/read Adam and it didn't feel like a neurotypical 'faking' or pretending to be autistic, so Hugh did a damn good job.

God the struggle to explain yourself and people not understanding and continuing to pressure you which just makes everything more stressful and worse is so real...

Do I hate how some of the other characters treat Adam? Yes, absolutely. "You're not ten years old" etc. treating him with kiddy gloves, explaining things for him, "someone with your condition" —  it's annoying, but it is realistic and something I've definitely experienced in the past.

Aside from Hugh's portrayal, the writing of Adam's lines is pretty spot on in responses to other people, in not understanding social cues, talking at inappropriate times, oversharing special interests, and so on.

I love the space suit and that was so random to be dangling outside cleaning windows it was pretty funny.

Do other autistics struggle with smiling? it always feels so forced for me and I hate it. Facial expressions I mostly learnt from reading and descriptions and I do still struggle to pick the appropriate one sometimes although I've gotten better with time. Anyway this is leading up to say Hugh's smile is very pretty and Adam is so precious but also I think if I tried to smile that wide it would be very uncomfortable and annoy me.

"Did he do it" would be my response too, Adam, he's so real for asking that.

Okay Beth is pissing me off don't try to control what Adam eats he knows what he can stand and likes leave him aloneee. ykw she ordered him mac and cheese and got him out of the Bad Social Situation maybe she's okay.

Okay nvm I take that back that book is uhhhhh... ig she's...trying at least? Idk man if I got given that I'd feel quite uncomfortable, stuff like that seems to normally (in my experience) not be the best? It just kinda infantilises further and makes you feel bad/different for having autism.

Random facts let's go! Appreciate Adam's knowledge you asshole >:( (I do not like Beth's dad). Damn I thought he was being nice for a second when he inquired about more info but he was joking, I was too autistic to pick up on that ig?

That situation would make me so confused Adam I relate so hard.

Also Beth pissed me off with that hand grabbing like...no. Personally I wouldn't even be fine with my gf doing that out of nowhere? But I also have contamination OCD so my experience with people touching me is...less than good so idk.

Also like she just did not know how to deal with Adam's meltdowns, she hadn't done any research.

All I can think is that that would be a sensory nightmare.

yk sometimes I do wanna just smash shit when I'm frustrated and overwhelmed and it is a strain to not do it (tbf I have seen other autistic people react similarly to such situations) so I can't really blame Adam for actually doing it. Like, jeez, 1. surprises bad, 2. lack of communication and trust, 3. she lied to him, 4. arranging stuff behind his back and treating him like a child — blowing up especially after he's had such a stressful day with the interview and phone call with her mum is a valid reaction tbh. I get it. Beth is manipulative.

She calls him a child because she went into their relationship with a lacking understanding of autism and the expectation that he needs coddling and that he is a child. Fuck you, Beth.

Harlan is actually decent though. Go him.

No. Adam. You deserve so much better than Beth. And Beth doesn't know how to understand you. Not good. Please do not get back together I beg you.

I don't think Beth is necessarily a bad person, I just think she isn't educated about autism and definitely treats Adam in an uncomfortable way. However I am also trying to see it from a neurotypical pov and I know that sometimes if you aren't used to people with autism who struggle with dealing with situations like Adam has then it can be straining — it isn't uncalled for for Beth to react like that. But she could definitely have made a better effort with Adam. She conveys that she wants to 'fix' Adam like his autism is something wrong with him, which is clearly just...no. I'm glad that didn't happen and they split instead, because that would have been a terrible route to take.

It is clear Adam is trying and does genuinely care about Beth, he just struggles to explain it to her (I've been there, words are hard) and she leaves because he says the wrong thing. That said, Beth clearly did not understand Adam properly and their relationship would have likely further devolved if they had continued on due to that, so I see it as a good thing that they split and Adam got to go and live his dream talking about stars.

I do think Adam did learn from his experiences with Beth and his struggles with social situations seem to be exacerbated because he's been coddled his whole life — I mean he still lived with his father who got him his job, I don't think Adam knew how to act because he was so isolated. I feel that's a common problem with kids diagnosed young — the parents make assumptions and the kiddy gloves never come off. Hell, I was diagnosed in my mid-teens and my mother told the entire extended family who started treating me like I was half my age, apologised because they "didn't know I was autistic" in like a really demeaning way, and refused to take me seriously. It made things harder. Being treated like a kid just means you'll continue acting like one because you don't know how else to act. Treating autistic people like they're five is not the way to go. Just because we see the world in a different way and may understand some situations differently doesn't mean (for a large majority) that we can't understand things nor that we're stuck as children. I mean Adam himself makes mention to this at points when Beth makes assumptions about him not understanding certain things, correcting her (which is one thing this movie does which is good that I haven't really elsewhere).

Most unrealistic thing is that Adam wears collared shirts, scratchy jumpers, and trainers like all the time (unless he's going to bed) even when he's just at home and doesn't instantly change into comfy hoodies and joggers to escape the sensory hell of Outdoors Clothes. Although I think the trainers/shoes in the house is an American thing? The toes being squished together though...

Adam is better autism rep than a lot of the other ones out there in media (Sheldon Cooper I'm looking at you). Yes it is slightly stereotypical (and the bar is on the floor) but it isn't bad/harmful stereotypes. I relate to him, I understand his struggles, he's realistic. Could it have been better? Yes, absolutely. But it wasn't bad, I liked it.

For what it is, and especially considering it was released a decade and a half ago, Adam is pretty good. As a character, I fear he is now my all time favourite comfort character — like I just relate so much to him as a person + hugh dancy gives me insane gender envy like, Adam? I love this man. There wasn't really any point in this film where I thought that something they portrayed about autism (through Adam) was unrealistic or perpetuating negative stereotypes. However, the other characters definitely do, and I think if Beth had remained with Adam it would send a completely different and negative message about how to interact with people with autism and maybe perpetuate bad stereotypes.

But ykw, it does portray a kinda realistic (although irritating) experience being autistic. People don't always know how to react and unfortunately negative stereotyping (fucking Autism Speaks) have done a lot of harm to the community that even in 2025 there are a lot of people who don't understand autism or just make assumptions which aren't true. Hell, I've has specialised disability advisors give utterly terrible advice/opinions on autism. You can't truly understand it if you don't have it, and even then everyone's experience is unique and different.

I don't believe this movie was written by an autistic person but they did a good job. I am glad they didn't really paint Beth as a heroine character who gets back together with Adam and 'takes care' of him and his autism because that would have been terrible. I like that Adam got his happy ending at the observatory. Dream job for him, truly.

Not my favourite movie ever but definitely my new favourite character.

[escespace]

Merlin and Arthur BUT...

An undercover reconnaissance mission has gone wrong. Not just one, but three knights from Camelot's elite group are wounded, and after a night in the woods, they're out of medical supplies so Merlin has started looking for herbs that serve specific functions such as antiseptic or analgesic, if possible he also looks for muds that Gaius taught him and other useful elements to mix improvised poultices. He has made improvised bandages and immobilization splints, and even more impressive, improvised thread and carved a wooden needle in case stitches open.

But no one seems too worried, even though they are facing a return trip of almost three days. Arthur is on the edge of his nerves (although he doesn't show it because kings don't do that) and he's not the one with the multiple lacerations of Gwaine, or a nearly fractured ankle as Elyan, or that bleeding head bruise that made Percival vomit even what he ate as a child. Instead, whenever they are not resting or too far gone in their pain, the knights joke and chatter as if it were just another hunting trip.

Arthur doesn't understand it, but he's not one to look down on his men keeping their morale high even in bad times So he makes a comment about how everything will be okay and that they shouldn't worry, which is responded to with:

«Of course, there is no one else who would take better care of us» Placing a hand on Merlin's shoulder to playfully shake him

And they may say it in a light-hearted way, but It is evident that they mean it and sue him! But Arthur is surprised.

Somehow that comment paved the way for the anecdotes to start flowing. Like the time Gwaine ended up splitting his head open trying to escape from an engaged lady's room jumping from roof to roof and as Gaius was treating a family outside It was up to Merlin to sew it, and there was no scar left after that !

Leon also contributed his own story of a time when a rabbit It didn't sit well in his stomach during a mission through the woods and if it hadn't been for Merlin it might have ended up compromising the success.

Stories came and went and Arthur couldn't stop thinking. Because his problem wasn't that he couldn't reconcile the fact that all his most trusted men were praising Arthur's ability to cure them, no. His problem is why the hell he can't reconcile that idea. The boy has been studying with the best physician in Camelot for almost a decade It would be hard to believe if he didn't learn anything, right? RIGHT????... Damn! But he's not even a boy anymore. When did that happen? What's even happening? Merlin does not change, Merlin is Merlin, he is his only constant, he is a force that ground him.

Anyway, this idea is in my head as a kind of 3+1 that I'm not sure I can develop. If anyone is interested in writing it, feel free to do so BUT TAG ME PLEASEEEEEE. i want to read something around this lines...

The other scenes I could think of have to do with taking care of some children while Arthur thinks Merlin is in the tavern and he is looking for him then late arthur embarrassed himself through a series of comments In front of someone (possibly Gwen or a courtier) who does know where Merlin is thinks Arthur is making reference to sick children... And a snippet of Arthur being a baby for just a minor cold and Merlin being the only one he allows to take care of him even though he continues to underestimate his medical knowledge until suddenly damn! Merlin knows what he's talking about BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY, he is the only one he would let see him in such a state and that is why he only allows him to help him and it's not only out of convenience as he first thought ... It would end with Arthur defending Merlin in front of some older people (perhaps) who doubt his ability because they see him too young.

[brctherscnce]

despite how Nemesis is a result of Quintessa's brainwashing, something that should be noted (at least for my interpretation) is that Nemesis is still indeed Optimus.

originally, Optimus had first gotten the moniker of Nemesis Prime during the midway point of the Autobot/Decepticon war on Cybertron. he had only recently become Prime as the mantle was passed down to him from Sentinel Prime, and was quickly expected to continue the war. for this, as Orion (now known as Optimus) had to deal with learning fast that not everyone wanted to partake in a war, and at first, all he knew of the Decepticons (besides the fact that his friend-turned-enemy Megatron led them) was that they were brutal. so, at first, Optimus believed that if THEY would be brutal-- then he must be, as well.

the war took an intense toll on him and his mental state-- having to witness the horrors of war from both sides had left Optimus often struggling to stay focused... as a result, memories of the specifics in battles where he was involved are blurry for him, as he's blocked them out as much as possible. the Autobots and people of Iacon undoubtedly see Optimus as something of a powerful leader, something to be idolized as he's been making the "tough choices" to help get an upperhand in the war. however, the Decepticons viewed him as a monster. Optimus was the new figurehead of everything they despised about Cybertronian society-- and thus, they refused to call him by his name of Optimus and instead called him Nemesis Prime.

so... Quintessa using this name is far more than just some little moniker to steer Optimus's mind away from remembering who he actually is in the brainwashing, this is far more than that. she is forcing down Optimus Prime and bringing out a part of himself he's never wanted to bring back-- the Prime from the war. the Prime that truly never recovered, the Prime that only knew hatred and violence from the war. Nemesis Prime. Quintessa has tortured him so much to the point that Optimus cannot function with the memories still at the forefront of his mind-- he does not feel a point in being kind to a world that despises him so much and has killed his family, his friends, and his fellow bots and abused him. if Optimus must survive in this world, then he will finally start striking back.

Nemesis Prime is brutal. he is cold, calculating, efficient and manipulative. however... it's... not really done out of some gain for himself. Nemesis is still Optimus, after all-- what Nemesis wants is what's best for Cybertron and his people. the issue is just that Nemesis does not have as much of a strong moral code as Optimus does. he is not afraid of killing to get to his goal (in this case, the staff of merlin), nor is he above threatening others. if you are not going to restore Cybertron, your home? then you shall be a stepping stone under his pedes. despite this, though, he will not instantly attack Cybertronians-- to him, they are simply misguided. they have been in the war for so long, so it's no wonder they'd be combative at first!

he won't go instantly attacking humans, either. however... that doesn't mean he's nice to them. he will threaten if he has to, and if they do not listen to his warnings, he will throw them aside if it means getting what he wants. Quintessa has done one thing: and that's remind Nemesis of just what the humans have done to the Autobots-- their crimes against HIS people, HIS friends, HIS family. Nemesis Prime only shows mercy from how pathetic humans seem to be-- he could crush them without issue... which is pitiful. he expects more from the cowardly organics that dared to melt down his kind and treat them as machines. on Cybertron, they were gods. he will show them that.

you can indeed have a normal conversation with him, though Nemesis may not be the friendliest in comparison to Optimus.

... deep down, though, Nemesis can't help but wonder why he feels pangs of sadness in his sparkcore. it doesn't feel right following his 'Creator' despite how many times he's told that what he does is to save Cybertron. why does it constantly feel like his own processor screams at him? haunts him? begs him to not hurt others?

he just wants to go home.

[gawrkin]

Apologies for dropping in your inbox like this without warning, but I felt the need to thank you for your post on Welsh Arthurian tellings. Particularly this part:

No Lancelot and No Affair. PERIOD. And absolutely no compromise or cheating on this one: you cannot turn anyone else (coughBediverecough) into a Lancelot analogue. You must sacrifice the Love Triangle completely - no "duty vs. love" drama. You're going to have make do without that conceit. You must exercise your own creativity and forge a different dramatic conflict for Arthur and Gwenhwyfar, if at all.

Turning Bedwyr into a Lancelot analogue, as if he has no character of his own, for some overplayed drama when other potential sources of conflict exist is one of my biggest pet peeves in Arthurian fiction. Right next to "You marketed your book as historical fiction, why are Lance and his gang all here?"

Whenever I complain about it on my blog, though, folks act like I just spoke some sort of literary blasphemy, lol.

I'm developing a visual novel that uses elements from Welsh Arthuriana; while I find the creative process fulfilling because heck yeah be the change you want to see in the world, the downside is it really does feel like it's near impossible to talk about. Mostly because everyone expects The Usual(tm), you know? And then you have to sit there and be like "Well, it doesn't have Merlin... or Lancelot... or Galahad... or the Round Table... and Excalibur is called Caledfwlch... uh... May I interest you in a Saxon OC? How about a drawing of Arthur lathered in the blood of his enemies?"

The VN takes place after the Battle of Camlan, and essentially functions as a "what-if" exploring Arthur's fate if he hadn't died. (As tl;dr as I can make it: he's conscripted for spiritual warfare by a strange Saxon man, Creoda, who's curse-blessed by the moon god to resurrect from death on the condition that he visits justice on his murderers. Arthur's seen weirder stuff, lmao.)

I've always been fascinated by Camlan's aftermath and wanted to explore Arthur's characterization when he's "forced" to continue living past the end, so to speak. At first, he simply wants to join his men, but he slowly regains agency as he tries to extricate himself from Creoda's machinations and the sins of his past. The world believes he's dead, so he's freer to act as he wishes.

For the central conflict underpinning Camlan, I decided to streamline the Gwenhwyfach subplot. Gwenhwyfar is instead Medrawt's sister, and he delivers her the fatal blow when she mocks his inebriation one too many times (context: he drinks to cope with the guilt of failing to protect the etifedd, Amr, from dying at the hands of Saxon captors). The blow forces Arthur to respond as a matter of honor, and here we get a long, dragged-out war of attrition between the two men.

Gwenhwyfar turns to Christianity for comfort. In tandem, she grows to resent both Arthur and Medrawt, as she believes neither truly had her in mind when they marched to war. She merely served as a convenient excuse for them to "rattle their spears" at one another.

The antagonist, who is meant to foil Arthur, is Creoda of Wessex. (Well, technically Creoda of the Gewisse, since Wessex kinda ain't established yet). He seems to have been invented to explain a 19-year gap between differing versions of West Saxon genealogy, because his name is otherwise oddly absent from the records. The sources I've read online on his lineage are contradictory and fragmented. So due to a paucity of information, I basically went "my city now." :P

Where Arthur is hotheaded but an active leader, deriving authority from his role as protector of the island of Prydain, Creoda represents a more dehumanizing view of nobility and the corrosive effects of the divine right of kings on the psyche. I won't wander too deep into the weeds here because this ask is already pretty long as it is, but that's the gist of it, lol.

Welsh Arthuriana offers ample creative material. I just wish more people seized the opportunity to flesh out less explored avenues.

@skaruresonic

You're very much welcome on that front!

Very interesting premise with a Post-Camlann!Arthur. I would suggest looking into the Wild Hunt and Sleeping-in-a-Cave Traditions of King Arthur if you want expand on the "Forced to live on after Camelot" aspect.

Whenever I complain about it on my blog, though, folks act like I just spoke some sort of literary blasphemy, lol.

I believe it's because their Bible of Arthuriana - and more importantly, it's preferred themes, meaning & interpretation - begins and ends with the "Holy Trinity" of Modern Arthuriana: Le Morte D'Arthur, Idylls of the King and Once and Future King.

This Modern Trinity has been the writer's reference point and source material for their own stories and pretty much dictates the plotting and thematics of all modern retellings, including the retellings trying to subvert it, like Mists of Avalon or Warlord Chronicles.

Welsh Arthuriana offers ample creative material. I just wish more people seized the opportunity to flesh out less explored avenues.

I feel that a lot of people find looking into the Welsh Traditions difficult not only because the material is obscure and fragmentary but also because it entails removing and replacing the themes and characters they have come to prefer from classical sources: Courtly Love, the premise of a Utopian setting, Romantic notions of Monarchy, Fellowship of Cool Knight Bros, Religion and Lofty Ideal debacles, etc. - none of which is prominent within the Welsh Matter.

The Welsh Matter, if anything, is about Worldly concerns - Marriages, Wealth, Raiding, Ethno-National Politics, etc. - intermixed with Otherworldly (but not Religious unless its a Hagiography or an adaptation of the French) ventures - Mystical Cauldrons and Objects, Giants, Trips to Annwfn, Monster Hunting, Shapeshifting, etc.

[vaporgutz]

Emotional Ricochet

Session 18

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"Whoa man, calm down!" Marcus reacted. Solare had shoved Jake away after an attempt to comfort, so hard into the other party member, the two fell into the flesh tunnles blood pool below, "I don't know what's going on, but we can figure it out. You're not alone in this."

Solare, his echoed, rage-filled battle cry that bounced everywhere and anywhere, landed on Marcus. The Tzimisce got away. Leaving him with one, repeating line.

Hypocrite.

"You don't know? How could you know!" Solares mind reeled, pushing his body up, grabbing Merlin by his uniforms collar as he disbanded his own outfit, showing his seething soul, "Show him. SHOW HIM, MERLIN!" Merlin tensed as Solare yanked him, "I want you to SHOW HIM—what happened—your a mind mage, I know you can."

"Unhand me, Solare." Merlin said, calmly, though internally, he feared for the situation. As his Avatar spoke to him, "He's in hysteria. We need to calm him. Not by magical means."

"I understand you want your revenge, but your anger is misguided. Look at what you're doing. Marcus, is innocent. Do you really want to put him through what you went though?" Merlin gestured to the group, as Marcus was still in the bloodied floor of the station and Jake, getting up.

Solare grit his teeth, slow turning to Marcus. His friend was doe eyed, like a deer caught in headlights. He then felt a presence. His own Avatar, "Merlin is right. Marcus' mind is fragile right now. He would break. Is this really what we want?"

As Solare stares into Marcus, his own eyes softening and grip loosening on Merlin.

"This.... This Tzimisce. This thing!" Solare started, "It taken EVERYTHING. Burned it to ash. My family. Burned. I want it dead. I NEED it dead."

Solare, his life sense has been active this whole time they've entered the flesh tunnles. It's a strange tunnle. Walls made of flesh, sentient flesh. The Tzimisces flesh crafting must've had something to do with it, the only way to make something so horrific is through a Tzimisce. Merlin, using Mind and Life, figured that the flesh was composed of hundreds of minds, all dying at different points in time, and amalgamated. And they are all screaming. In pain. Solare's Life Sense tells him, they are human...but they don't exactly...function as human. They are more like...—

Staring at Marcus, he glances around at the walls once more.

The dates.

Hypocrite.

The amount of bodies.

HYPOCRITE.

It adds up...

HYPOCRITE.

These aren't the Tzimisces victims...these tunnles are composed of.

'They are mine.'

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Note for context: Solare kills ghouls and vampires as a vigilante, through the hand of 'justice'. Going on missions since he was young sent on by Richter. But, the meaning of 'killing through justice' has been muddled and skewed over time by his rage and thurst for revenge. "He sees no victem, nor attacker. Just a problem. And eradicates it."