#how does one write about bjs

[screampied]

VENOMIZED?! t. fushiguro

❤︎ sum. your ex-fiancé needs a favor from you — just one more, he swears! apparently, he’s got some weird “parasite” that for some reason is very attracted to your sweet, sweet scent..

wc. 9.2k

warnings. fem! reader, venom! toji, modern au, pre-established relationship, pining, some spoilers + movie references, reader's a doctor (allegedly), unprotected, venom's dialogue is in bold, venom's tendrils, long tongues, brief bj's, manhandling, getting pounded silly in venom’s suit, choking, size kinks, L bombs, cunnīlingus, twice the stamina, marathons, fīngering, riding toji ‘till he cries, venom's kinda unserious, dīck slipping, cęrvix mentions, spitting on it, bręeding, squīrting, tummy bulges.

an. i’m ovulating and rewatched all three venom movies hear me OUT-

“pussy.”

“venom, man- please.”

“what.”

furrowing your brows, you stared at toji, the man who you were originally supposed to marry just six months ago. in the flesh, he stands tall behind the door of your office with a sheepish expression. he looks tired, ruffled hair buried underneath a sideways baseball cap while wearing some dingy sweats. “are you talking to yourself?”

“eheh- well,” toji gruffs, darting lime eyes toward your teal scrubs. he’s missed you. to think if he hadn’t been stupid enough to snoop through your life foundation files to expose confidential information regarding their private business practices. his silly little mistake ended up getting you both fired, but fate loved playing in your face because you almost forgot that you were still toji’s doctor at your other job. clearing his scratchy throat, toji sighs. “i’m dyin’ here, doc. need a checkup.”

“she smells good.”

“yeah, she does smell good.”

“what?” you eyed toji, wondering just who the hell he was even talking to.

toji looks at you, scratching behind his neck. “ah- sorry,” and you notice how he’s a lot veinier than usual. toji did a quick scan around the spacious, empty doctor’s office before he slightly tilted his head down. “long story short, sugar, i got a … parasite.”

“PARASITE!?”

“parasite?” you repeated with a deadpan, grabbing your clipboard near your desk.

oh for the love of . .

you thought you’d never see toji again. letting off a sigh of your own, you pat the cerulean-blue hospital bed. “sit.”

hoarsely scoffing, toji makes his way toward the bed before flopping on it with a loud ‘oof.’ scratching his head, he turns toward you as he sees you writing something down—probably information regarding his chart. “so… how ya been?”

“toji, let’s just make sure you’re alright.”

“fine, fine,” he grumbles, getting smacked face first with the thick tension swarming the air that could be cut with a knife.

there was obvious tension between the two of you, and toji was still head over heels in love with you. in fact—he’s never stopped, and he regrets every day choosing his career over his relationship.

if he could start over, hell - he would.

the two of you had plans and everything after getting married. settle down, maybe move out of san francisco, maybe even live near the countryside. you both even had a brief small talk about children too, but seeing you again just reminded him of how much he screwed up.

“what’s . . the problem, exactly? you said you have a what- parasite?”

your sweet tone snaps him out of his thoughts and his droopy, grassy eyes flick down to meet your gaze. “oh- uh, yeah. you’re the only person i thought of comin’ to. last doctor, i went to called me crazy and uh … called a swat team…. ha.”

“ooookay…” you curl a brow inward, hoping the last part was just another one of his unfunny jokes. “and does this ‘parasite’ make you talk to yourself or is that just toji being toji?”

“she’s sassy.”

toji rolls his eyes, disregarding venom’s instigating comments in his head before shrugging. “sometimes. he’s annoying.”

“he?”

“my uh- parasite. he hates being called ‘it.’ goes by venom ‘n everything,” toji explains, his hands still buried deep into the pockets of his cottony sweats. as you glance up to get a good look at him, he’s sweating bullets—all from the sides of his forehead too. “oh, ‘m fine. ‘s just a bit hot in here.”

“the a/c’s on.”

“oh..” toji murmurs, slouching a bit on the bed. to say he’s feeling hot is an understatement. it’s like the more he stared at you, the more he started to feel the unsteady beats of his heart pick up.

ba-dump after ba-dump after ba-dump! and he could even start to hear each pulse through his ears, traveling through his veins.

toji clenches his tense jaw as he tries to listen to you. you’re rambling a bunch of medical terminology about checking his vitals and blood pressure and he’s replying with uninterested head nods.

oh fuck.

venom’s getting excited.

it’s probably been about five months since the little ‘incident’ occurred where he ended up getting venom.

long story short—toji was snooping around the headquarters of the life foundation where he found actual test subjects. not animals, not insects but people. live, living, and breathing people, and before he could even think of pulling out his phone to record the things he saw - bam!

one of the test subjects—a girl, sneaks up from behind and attacks toji.

little did he know that a ‘parasite’ that was once inside her ended up slipping inside of him. the parasite is known as ‘venom.’ to sum it all up toji was a perfect match, the perfect host.

“toji, are you even listening to me?”

“yeah, toji. our wife’s talking to us.”

“shut up.” he grumbles, shaking his head.

“excuse me?”

“not you- ah, fuck,” toji takes off his ball cap, running a hand through his greasy darkened strands.

he’s been so kept in his thoughts that he didn’t feel you checking his vitals and blood pressure which was oddly higher than a usual human.

toji sits on the sheet-covered bed, the blood pressure cuff still wrapped ‘round his beefy bicep before he sighs deeply again. “i don’t.. wanna waste yer time. i doubt you’ll find what’s wrong, er- medically. it’s … hah- hard to explain.”

as you switched the sphygmomanometer off, you concluded with toji’s chart for now before thinking for a moment. “well, if it’s internal and is causing you to behave strangely, maybe an MRI will help-”

“NO.”

toji grows sheepish again. “heh- no, no.. MRI.”

“and why not?”

“sound… uh- sound hurts him. him and me.”

dropping your shoulders with impatience, you tap your foot with a grumble. “look, toji, i’m really trying here but i’m not sure how else i can help you. i don’t even know what this ‘parasite’ thing even is.”

“it’s.. better if i show ya.”

right at his words, your brows raised. show you?

at that moment—question marks were popping up all through your brain, and you were the epitome of confusion. toji sighed, sitting up straight before glancing down at you. “don’t get scared, alright? i won’t hurt’cha, promise.”

“um, okay..” you murmur, crossing your arms as your wrist bristles against your doctor identification badge. the anticipation’s nearly killing you, and you remain quiet as you try to study toji’s next move.

“alright-” toji inhales deeply, and right before your very eyes - he’s changing forms.

he’s still wearing sweats, but within seconds, his body’s starting to get covered with black. it looks like some sort of dark villain suit. he’s waaaay bigger now, and his face’s just halfway covered. as you raise your head, you’re met with the face. the slit, blinking eyes. there’s large, curving eyes that longly curl further up near the back of his head and the teeth-

half of toji’s mouth was now replaced with probably dozens of sharp, honed teeth and an obnoxiously long tongue sticking out of the side of his mouth.

what ….

the ….

fuck.

“pretty little girl.”

the voice sounded far different than toji’s. it’s more pitchy and low, it's screaming with smoky bass and it nearly makes you shudder. toji - or whoever that was, did a quick walk around you and you’re silently gulping.

it’s venom now, and the more he’s in your presence, the more he’s getting a louder smell of your signature sweet scent.

so this is the girl toji’s been whining about non-stop. interesting.

“i- um.. take it you’re the parasite?”

you heard an annoyed growl leave from his mouth before he replies, cocking its head.

“watch it, now. it’s venom, sweet thing.”

“venom, poison, toxin- whatever.” you rolled your eyes, your slight fear subsiding. toji told venom how you were sassy but you, you were intriguing. you didn’t seem the least bit scared and he liked that.

as you took in his massive appearance though, he was just so big, towering over toji entirely even with his head tilted down. venom’s very burly, and you could just see him drooling from his lips from your peripherals. in a tiny frail voice, you murmured. “where’s toji? is he-”

“still here, unfortunately. he’s my shitty host-”

right on cue, they swap back and toji’s back in his body. he rubs behind his neck, looking down at your cute appalled expression. “heh- see?”

“toji, what the hell did i just see.”

“i don’t know- but look, he’s a part of me now and he’s hell-bent on makin’ my life a livin’ hell for as long as i’m alive,” toji let off an exhale. “i didn’t . . just come here for a checkup though.”

your eyes meet his and toji’s demeanor turns more serious now - he’s starting to sweat again, and raven bangs that slit down his forehead nearly shield his eyes. “i- i missed you, sugar. seriously.”

“toji-”

“no, listen,” he grumbles, slowly closing the awkward distance between the two of you. the room grew dead quiet, and the only sounds that could be heard were from the outside of the hospital.

endless chatter and machines along with occasional beeps from the staticky hospital’s intercom. intently, you stare deep into his eyes and his hand softly goes on your cheek. toji’s patiently waiting - waiting for the moment for you to push his hand away, but you don’t.

instead, your body’s first response was to lean into his touch and you could see his eyes slowly widening as he continued to caress your cheek. he didn’t expect that.

“god, i- i’m so… horny-”

…..

“nice one. no wonder why you struggle to get laid.”

you blink thrice, staring at toji and oh- he’s starting to sweat even more. his eye seems to be twitching from venom’s insult and you’re wondering what’s going on through his brain - or who.

he’s not sitting on the bed anymore, he’s standing now, and again, toji towers over you completely.

if you squinted just enough, you’d see the dark bags indenting underneath his eyes. “you look .. really pretty today.”

“i’m wearing scrubs, toji.”

“idiot.”

toji grumbles, trying to disregard venom’s snarky side comments. “i know- i know, i just-” he pauses, his eyes trailing up and down your body. “wait- i think i know how you can help with my parasite.”

“how?”

“heh- do you uh- mind if we go back to your place? ‘m kinda starved-”

♡ ♡ ♡

“o- oh my.. god!” you’d squeal, yet another pretty primal ripping its way out of your throat. one minute, you’re having a heart-to-heart with your ex-fiancé and the next, his tongue’s swirlin’ left and right in between the cracks and crevices of your open thighs. you’d be lying through your teeth if you didn’t miss his tongue.

but fuck it.

you’re whimpering, swollen-glossed lips trembling as you’re hunched over your damn sofa. you’re bent over the arm of the couch as toji’s positioned behind you, using one hand to roughly grip the right cheek of your ass.

like always - he’s just nasty, sliding his tongue in and out of your syrupy cunt, savoring the candy-sweet taste. toji’s all in there—puckering his plump glossy lips as your hips refused to stay still on his tongue.

“hngh- sweeter than ever for me, pretty hah- mama,” toji groans, feeling you writhe again at the shuddering response your body gives him.

leisurely, his scarred lips tickle their way against the outer part of your pussy and you’re already fighting back fat tears. tears of straight pleasure, and he could hear those sweet ‘lil sobs getting caught in the back of your throat every time.

“fuck- dreamt ‘bout tastin’ you again for so long,” and as you’re continuing to fill the room with your repeated, wailing whimpers, toji brings a sticky, wet kiss to your labia that’s just constantly twitching. “mhm, i missed you too, wet girl.”

“ngh- toji,” a soft, gasping moan snatches away from your lungs as your thighs gradually grow shaky. you’re unstable—struggling desperately to cling onto the armrest of the sofa. toji’s tongue was just brutal - its pace was simply relentless, barely giving you any time to get out a single breath.

“fuck- fuuuuck,” and your chest dips inward, hearing that familiar slosh sound sob from between your legs. your tummy nearly does flips, cartwheels, and somersaults, feeling that thick, big stretch of one of toji’s fingers trying to insert its way inside you.

immediately, you’re clamping around him, presenting his stocky fat middle finger with your dripping, slick warmth. you heard a cooing, husky ‘ooooh’ rumble away from toji’s throat as he stared in awe.

“your fingers are sooo- fuck-” you’re cut off by his tongue that’s wetly slurping against your pussy. it’s so loud too, a carnal sound you’d probably never get used to.

toji’s a sloppy man - proud ‘n entirely unashamed, especially when it came to you.

his long, ravened lashes were closed the entire time whilst he was trying to barrel thick fingers inside of your drooling core. you’re just so wet, dampening his fingers within each overwhelming inch that sinks inside your pussy. “baby-” he breathily rasps, hearing the hurried huffs depart from your throat once he starts scissoring his digits inside of you. his fingertips were even bigger, and your toes were just pathetically curling up.

“toji, i want a taste too.”

toji grumbles, nearly forgetting about venom’s presence. already - you had a good portion of his chin dripping with your essence. as toji’s starting to create a decent, sloppy thrusting pace of his fingers, he spits on your clit.

“don’t be greedy. besides my tongue’s longer.”

“fine.” toji rolls his eyes, glancing at the glittery glob of spit that’s straightly cascading down the slit of your cunt.

venom did have a point though -

he could stretch it out to be several feet long. toji’s fingers continued to loudly thrust in and out of your sobbing, wet cunt before he nibbles against your nub. “mmch- sugar, can i try somethin’ with my tongue?”

“o.. okaay-” your voice cutely cracks, and you’re already starting to feel the irregular beats of your heart pick up at a much more frantic speed.

“hah- i’ll have ‘ta take my fingers out for it. might stretch you a bit,” and right as he says that you hear the drenched ‘pop’ sound splash away from between your trembly legs.

you’re damn near hysterical - temporarily pouting once you’re clenching around nothing but air once he pulls his fingers out.

down to his rounded, pointy knuckles — both fat fingers were glossed from top to bottom with streams of your gluey slick.

you heard a ‘whoosh’ from behind you, and your eyes slightly bulged once you felt a bit of drool splatter onto your back. you’re completely bare, and the only thing you currently had on was panties that toji lazily shoved to the side with his teeth earlier.

“bend.”

it’s venom’s voice this time, and the bass gruffly screaming in his tone had you already arching up. you whined, still feeling him shamelessly drooling on your bare backside.

you could hear him snarling quietly, hearing the slopping sound of his tongue rolling straight out of his hanging maw. curled, white eyes stare at your pretty pussy just on display, and venom’s tongue stretched out even farther.

“eyes… lungs… pancreas…” his venomous, deep voice bellows after each word that leaves his dropping, wet lips. the chiseled, sharp teeth that decorated the inside of venom’s mouth were just so shiny.

you felt yourself throbbing at every second he spent widely staring at your body, admiring your nude physique.

large, blinking eyes finally flicker down between your thighs and you moan once he hungrily licks his long tongue across his salivating lips. once he teasingly brings the tip of his tongue to lick between the wet crevice of your leg, you whimpered as he finished his sentence. “—pussy.”

“o- oh.. my goood-” you’d croak, eyes instantly rolling back once the slimy tip of his tongue slaps its way against your hole.

slooowly, it slithers its way down until it reaches your opening. it was so long, the tip already reaching near your navel within half a second. it’s just huuuge, longer than toji’s tongue by a mile. he’s just as ruthless too, dipping his way inside of your inviting cunt without muttering a single word.

you’re holding onto the edge of the couch for dear life, gnawing at the inside of your cheek as his tongue sloppily flops its way in and out of your throbbing pussy. venom’s a tease too, and every few seconds he’d purposely stretch the tip of his tongue even longer just to hear those pretty cries of yours pitch higher.

“uuugh.. s- so long, fuck-” you’d whine, gasping once you felt his flicking tongue occasionally slap against the sprawled arc of your thighs. unapologetically, venom creates a slimy, wet trail and he’s just straight-up licking you everywhere.

he’s not only licking your pussy, he’s gliding his tongue down your legs, around your legs, and of course -

he tends attention to his new favorite spot, your hole.

every time he’d lave the reddened, curly tip of his tongue at that particular spot - you’d let off the prettiest squeal. your eyes nearly popped out of their poor sockets as you’re left a stammering, babbling mess. messily, he swirls his extended tongue around your puckering hole before slithering it back down between the puffed folds of your pussy.

“ ‘m not.. hah- not gonna last, toji-”

venom scoffs, but he could feel toji trying to take over. as you remained awkwardly hunched over the fluffy armrest of your sofa, you just couldn’t get over how long venom’s tongue was.

just thinking about how many feet it was had you fluttering, and not just the kind of fluttering that occurs inside your stomach.

it’s wet, dripping everywhere down your legs as it continues to glissade up, down, ‘n around. you were impatiently spasming on his tongue the entire time as you were still arched over, chasing each incoming breath until your release decided to present itself.

venom’s tongue was widely thick too, and it just couldn’t help but roll its way against the bare left cheek of your ass. you’re practically gasping for air at this point, on the verge of collapsing from the length of his tongue before he delves it in wholly.

“fuck- fuuuuck-” you’d squeak, drool moistly seeping from each corner of your lips.

steamy, hot breath tickles against your thigh as his tongue continued to drag its way through your sloppy cunt. every smacking slosh that you heard from between your yelping legs only grew louder, and you’re just gnawing on the bars of your fuckin’ enclosure.

you’re starting to cutely crawl forward, at least you’re trying to, but you gasp—feeling one of venom’s long black tendrils curl its way around your torso.

“stay, girl.”

you’re moaning, eyes bulging wider once the tip of his tongue occasionally reaches near your pulsating g-spot. he’s so sloppy with it too, purposely diving his tongue at that same spot to make you cross-eyed.

your sweet melodic ‘ooooh’ ‘s only pitched higher, and as his tongue continued to thrust in and out of your throbbing cunt, you felt his tendril delicately caressing down your skin. “ ‘m gonna cummm-” you’d whine out, feeling the pathetic surrendering quake of your legs.

his tongue was just sooo vast ‘n wide - thickly stretching inside of your cunt before flicking the tip of his flat tongue all against your drenched, wet thighs.

within a blink of an eye, you hear a ‘swoof’ sound and toji ends up switching back to his original form. your kaleidoscope-like vision had you seeing bleary white splotches of pleasure. as each lively vein and axon located in your body gets harshly interrupted with a euphoric wave of elation, your high’s finally making its longly awaited appearance.

venom’s tongue which is now toji’s tongue shrinks a bit, and the entire time—you feel it all inside of you. pulse after pulse after pulse . .

the scar that slit down the right side of his lip smeared against your pussy as he takes one big sluuuuurp.

toji groans, grabbing ahold of your rickety thighs before snickering lowly. “c’mon, pretty girl. give it t ‘me. hah- ‘m so thirsty,” he murmurs against your folds, his lips wetly gluing together with the help of your slick cascading down his stubbled chin.

you’re just shaking - your jaw dropped with your toes cutely curled together. toji softly slides another finger inside you and this time, it's his index finger.

your lips spread wide - parting into a cute, surprised ‘o’ once you feel a brief cold band of what feels like a ring. it’s his engagement ring, and after all this time he still wore it.

“f- fuck, tojiiiii-” you’d sob out, furrowed brows contorting as he’s trying to slide in each thick inch of his digit.

you’re drooling, and not just from your mouth.

“never .. hngh- stopped lovin’ you, sweetheart,” toji grumbles, a smoky groan ripping out of his throat once he feels his dick twitching in his sweats.

toji’s hard too, and you could even hear him let off a soft raspy whine once he started to roll his hips against the cushioned couch. “fuuuck- gonna make me cum too, ugh-”

the wet silver band of his engagement ring tickles against the inside of your core, and as he repeatedly pistons his thick digit in and out of your pussy, he kept flicking his tongue at the same time.

you’re shivering, feeling your hips dramatically stutter before the coil buried deep in your fluttering tummy finally snaps.

“fu- fuck!” you’d squall out a pretty near battle cry, purring off little shaky ‘ah’ ‘s once you hear his final, repeating slurps.

toji’s free hand already snuck underneath his sweats, and he was angrily pumping his veiny cock that hid underneath his boxers.

the white stripes of his underwear had ‘lethal protector�� decorated around the upper strip of his boxers in bold white and purple — (venom’s idea of course)

as toji’s kiss-stung lips practically glued against your pulsating clit, he drinks all of your slick juices. the top row of his teeth playfully snags against your nub as his long, dark lashes flutter shut.

but as you’re creaming on his tongue, toji grunts loudly.

his bare shaft that’s hugged around his palm ends up releasing too from the tip, and he grumbles, feeling the inside of his stomach frantically tighten.

toji ends up cumming merely nanoseconds after you, and white splotches end up spraying over his stomach and on the burgundy cushion below you both.

“hah- fuck,” toji growls through honed, gritted teeth. he’s drenched with sweat, and he’s letting off guttural moans against your sweet cunt as his animalistic hips humped against the sofa. “made a fuckin’ mess outta me, pretty girl. just like . . ya always do-”

as you’re still getting over your own teeth-shatter release, you end up sitting up. toji brings his slick-covered ring finger towards his scarred lips, giving it a teasing ‘lil suck before humming in content. “my wife’s always had the sweetest taste.”

“ex-fiancée.” you corrected him, still feeling your thighs quake.

“oh, boo. same thing, sweetheart,” toji pants, and he saw how your eyes immediately dropped further down.

it starts near his chest. toji’s chest was puffed out, and fuck was he buff. his arms were oh-so swole, and your gaze was entirely stuck to his body as he started to take off his sweater.

after that - came his tank top.

it’s dingy, a dirty color of white and you could even see a few curly black strands of chest hair poke near the center part.

as you were openly gawking - you didn’t even realize you were crawling closer and closer toward him..

this probably wasn’t a good idea.

you’d probably regret this tomorrow.

but, again - fuck it.

one more last time with your ex-fiance couldn’t hurt that bad, right . . ?

“heh- come closer,” toji sits manspread, sprawling his beefy vein-covered arms over the edge of your sofa. “i don’t bite but venom might.”

“shut up-” you mumbled, and toji inhaled a sharp breath at the familiar feeling of your touch.

as always - you’re just so gentle, tenderly tender with one of your palms wrapping over his sensitive erect length. it’s like he grew the last time you saw him, and from all the tannish-pink sides, it was overwhelmed with veins.

prodding, lightning-shaped veins.

toji’s rounded tip was a pretty color of pink with splotches of glittery white where a few remnants of cum remained.

grunting—toji’s eyes briefly flap shut and you could see the core muscles in his stomach tightly flexing. a single vein throbs down the left side of his shaft as he feels your tongue flick against his frenulum.

speaking of - his poor, rosy-colored cockhead’s just tearing with glossy globules of pre-cum. you swirl your tongue around, hearing each low growling ‘o- oh fuck,’ leave from toji’s scarred lips.

if it was anything he missed more than you, it was your mouth. you always knew how to wrap your lips around his cock. ardently, toji bites his lip before he sees you reaching between your legs.

humming, he raises a brow as your hot throat starts to finally lower itself against his weighty cock. “mngh- poor baby. need a hand?”

“ ‘m fine,” you grumbled through full lips, almost remembering just how big toji’s dick really was.

seconds later and your lips were feeling tender just from the subtle gaping stretching it created. you’re letting off a symphony of muffled moans left and right as you’re trying to get his mushroomy tip to hit the roof of your mouth. as toji ogles at your bobbling head, he playfully pinches your nose.

“fuck- thaaat’s it, breathe.” he released the grip from your nostrils, hearing a faint noise of a gag.

he was just so thick, and your fingers weren’t helping your impatient fervor at all. you weren’t just throbbing anymore from between your legs you were twitching too.

a lustrous strand of saliva dribbles from the corner of your lips as you moan again - pretty, bleary eyes glancing back up at toji before you huff. with a sloppy, wet ‘pop!’ noise, your drooling lips left his veiny cock.

“hm?” toji lets out a smoky exhale, a wide palm still softly placed on top of your head. he sees the needy little pout gradually spreading against your face before he smears his fat tip against your lips. “impatient, wifey?”

“toji-” you grumbled, not even caring anymore. your body knew all too well what it wanted. “just fuck me.”

you wanted him - maybe even needed him.

toji knew what you wanted too, and god- you just wanted to wipe the smirk right off his face.

it’s like he could read you like a book. after saying just his name though—you let off another gasp once he suddenly lifts you.

“hah- well then. upsie’ fuckin daisey, girl. i gotcha.”

strenuous, hefty arms carry you as he’s stomping down your hallway. emerald-green eyes occasionally leer at the few hung paintings and wall decorations that are displayed on your wall.

of course, toji knew where your bedroom was because that’s exactly where he was taking you.

never before had your jaw dropped wider.

once toji’s aligning his blushing, plump tip against your already sobbing pussy you knew it was game over. toji had you in one of his favorite positions - prone bone.

almost like before, your face was down with your pretty, wriggling ass raised. a long, rectangular mirror was propped up in front of you and toji was just silently drinking in every lewd expression that contorted against your face.

his sweats - his boxers, everything seemed to disappear and all he wore was that same black suit with a carved ‘spider’ looking symbol on his chest.

“mhm- look at how wet she is for me, fuck-” toji grumbles, carnally admiring how your clit was just fluttering with a jumble of aroused pulses.

“you mean us.”

“us, right.” toji rolls his eyes at venom’s remark, forgetting how you couldn’t hear him at all.

you were just drenched, and as he ran a swollen thumb down your slivering slit, he hummed.

if he squinted just enough, your pussy would’ve easily resembled a flower - so so pretty.

toji groans, and you hear a bit of a faint whoosh sound.

right before your eyes as you’re arched over, you watched how he was now wearing all black. like from before — it was the suit, the suit whenever he transformed into venom but toji was still there.

ruffled, black strands nearly blocked both of his eyes before he damply smacks his mushroomy tip against your weeping cunt.

“ngh- toji, don’t tease me-”

“patience, sweetheart-” he grumbles through gritted teeth, and your lips part into an even wider ‘o’ once he’s sliding the head of his cock back and forth against your puffed folds.

your thighs were eagerly trembling - direly waiting for him to just go inside.

toji’s cock was so ridiculously fat - each slap against your pussy with just his tip alone had you dizzy. the minuscule, sizzling buds in your mouth made the entirety of your tongue water as you were just babbling those same whimpers.

“dunno who’s louder.” he licks his lips, still tasting remnants of your cloyingly sweet juices on his tongue. as he’s still toying with you, you moaned once you heard that familiar welcoming squeeelch.

toji’s starting to ease his way inside - already creating a huge, gaping stretch with just his tip alone.

the sweet ‘o- oh shit’ that pours from your syrupy lips was mere music to his ears. tenderly, a hand wraps around your throat from behind, making you look at yourself through the mirror.

his shadow alone, you saw it - venom’s eerily presence, his silhouette shadowing behind toji, and he was even bigger. you gulped, feeling your tummy take a few resists and turns as he’s still trying to make his way inside.

“make her arch more.”

toji brings a hand toward your back, gently pressing down to make you sit upright. he’s just so big, and your brows were already compressing and curling all from his thick size.

he was barely even a few inches in and yet it felt like he was stuffing you to the brim. unsteady, wobbly arms remained pierced into the cushioned mattress as you could just feel toji’s cunning grin from behind you.

“fuck- so fuckin’ big, tojiii-”

“nice ‘n big just for you, wifey,” he purrs, and you’re whimpering once he rubs the frigid band of his wedding ring against your pussy again. the sloshes started to grow more wet after each barreling stretch, and you’re just gasping for air at this point. “c’mon big girl, let's make it fit like old times. gimme that pretty biiiig stretch- fuck.”

toji’s halfway in when he groans, feeling your heart-shaped insides instinctively clench around him. it’s almost cute, and he’s leaning against your ass to where his weight’s just hovering on top of you. the same hand that was holding onto your throat softens its grip, and he gives you a teasing kiss on the side of your mouth.

as your neck raised a little, you tried to wiggle your hips. fuck, you tried something, anything so he could just move.

toji lowly chortles at your cute agitation before gifting the right cheek of your ass with a rude spank.

“ohhh, what’s all this? want me to move, yeah?”

“pleaseplease-”

your words were a soft-spoken mumble, and toji’s just about all the way in now. after he’s bottomed out, his cock stiffens inside of you as you tried to writhe against his hips.

your dripping cunt was still as loud as ever, squelching with numerous pretty sloshing sounds. kissing near the back of your neck, toji whispers hoarsely, “heh- shame, y’er pussy’s speakin’ up for you, pretty mama. but i need ‘ta hear you,” and you moaned, eyes nearly rolling back at the sheer warmth of toji’s chiseled frame laid flat against your flesh. “please what?”

“f- fuuuck me, toji. please- just fuck me.”

within every swallowing inch—you felt toji’s thick, heavy cock trying to squeeze itself in. you’re whimpering, staring ahead with bleary, lust-like eyes as he’s taking you from behind.

he’s so obnoxiously big, but from the inside, he was even bigger.

his sharpened pelvis presents one thrust to you - just a single, vigorous thrust and you feel like you are gonna break.

fall over like you were just some fragile, porcelain doll on the verge of shattering into smithereens. all because of his damn hips. “ugh-” toji grumbles, a small hiss leaving his lips at the sticky contact your sharply slapping ass makes against his lower half.

“i wanna taste her more.”

“knock y’erself out, pal.” toji huffs at another one of venom’s whines, sucking his teeth at how your insides just clamped around him.

your half-open eyes were just wandering everywhere with white flickering through your sockets as your mouth remained agape. the crown of his cock reaches a deep, deep, deep area, and the thing that made you whine was feeling venom’s long tongue.

again.

it’s slick ‘n sticky, slithering out of his dropped jaw as the wet tip licks down the path of your arched spine. he feels you shiver, and toji groans as he’s still ruthlessly pounding you into the creeping mattress. your mind still couldn’t wrap around how abnormally loooong venom’s tongue was, it was so long that he could curl it around your waist if he wanted.

“good .. girl.”

you couldn’t hear him—but you felt his presence, his eerie presence behind you as toji’s heavy weight leans riiiight up against your ass.

your slick was dripping down his cock as he was sloppily sliding his way in and out, each papping sound of thighs causing your ears to ring like bells. fuzzed cotton stuffs your ears as you’re even starting to drool yourself, clawing at the sheets as toji’s fucking you senseless.

“hah- such a pretty girl, that’s it- fuck-” he groans, biting his tongue once he’s met with the sticky sensation of your cunt noisily slapping back against his sharpened pelvis.

hit after hit after hit - and you could just about taste every beat of your heart. his hips were mean, just slamming into you after each filth of a millisecond.

delicately - toji’s thumb caresses the middle part of your throat before he makes you meet his dirty gaze in the mirror. “look,” he huskily purrs, slowing his thrusts down purposely to match your delayed, drawn-out pants.

you shuddered underneath him—moaning once you felt the tip of venom’s tongue snake its way around your trembling thighs. though bleary, droopy eyes and a tongue fully lolled out of your spit-glittery lips, you glanced at yourself in the mirror.

the image of yourself being rammed from behind by toji in his jet-black ‘venom’ whatever you'd call it suit would now constantly be etched in your brain.

as toji’s behind you, his other hand brings your waist up for a better angle. you whined, feeling a bit of his chest hair softly tickle against your spine as he grinds against your ass. he’s thick inside, molding your clammy insides after every primal, eye-rolling thrust.

“there she is, heyy sweetheart,” and his voice drops. it’s a low, guttural low with the right amount of breath that makes you shamefully throb. leaning in, toji playfully licks the side of your cheek before whispering airily. “what happened to all that attitude earlier, hm?”

“ngh, fuck you-” you moaned, gasping once you felt venom’s tendril crawl its way between your legs. it’s so slimy, creating glossy trails of wetness against your already wet thighs before it wraps around one of your legs.

“no, fuck you.” toji grumbles, creating an invisible trail of kisses down your neck.

“make me c- cum then.” you tried to talk back but you’re instantly silenced by the feeling of toji’s heavy, fat cock dipping near your g-spot.

the ridges of his cock that’s got more of a lean curve were enough to have you collapse right there. he’s hitting you good from the inside, massaging through your clingy walls as the two of you both grunt in carnal unison. “oh! fuuuck- fuck, right there, hngh-”

toji brings a hand over your mouth—a palm that muffles your reoccurring whines ‘n whimpers before he hits that same spot again..

he treats your cute ‘lil g-spot like a target, his accuracy is precise every single time. your legs quavered as he felt you twitching - so so close that your orgasm was just like the edge of your strawberry-colored tongue.

“yeah, right - fuuuckin’, there?” and even toji’s voice was starting to tremble.

he’s just about there too - the more he’s whacking his achingly, swollen tip against your tender spot the more he’s feeling his base start to grow more and more full.

you’re whimpering, the syrupy taste of your saliva pouring past the cracks of your lips whilst gluing against his palm. venom’s ravened tendrils remained curled around your thighs too, a tight enough grip to where the hold wouldn't loosen so easily.

“there, toji- pleaaaase,” you’re damn near begging now, sweet pretty pleads of mercy sliding from your lips as the bed groans in the background. he’s deep, massaging your walls as your pussy relaxed squelch after sobbing squelch.

toji’s tip was a blushing, hot red - and each time he pistons his hips, he delves his way even further against your pretty g-spot.

stringently, it prods prods prods until it just can’t anymore and you’re left with your jaw goofily hung open, agape and all as you’re staring at the cross-eyed expression that’s mirrored right in front of you.

your reflection was practically mocking you it seemed, and once you came on his cock again, you let out the most harmonic squeal.

“mhn- there we go, sugar. sloooow, hah- nice ‘n slow, fuck-” his voice pitches hoarsely as he’s gripping both of your swerving hips. as your back’s still laid flat against the plump sheets of your mattress—toji flops right against you.

he’s just close - so so close that you felt the smooth, latex-like material of his suit grind against your skin.

his abs - so naturally sharped and carved, every single row of his chiseled pecs rubbed against your sweat-glossed back and you’re just whimpering out those same pretty babbles for more more more..

with a black quirked brow, toji grunts in your ear whilst venom’s tendrils mindlessly wrap around your waist.

tenderly, his scarred, callused lift your hips just a bit more to get a deeper angle - and fuck, that’s when toji’s just about at his inevitable peak too.

“hngh- cum . . cum insiiide-” you whined, sheeny pouty lips of yours curving into a disappointed frown once you hear and feel the wet, sloppy pop. heavy, ragged breaths collided down your spine as you felt toji’s rough chest lay flat against your back.

his shaft slipped out of you, and you couldn’t help the small ‘lil moan that pried its way from your raw chords. you’re clenching around nothing now, and you even tried to sneak a hand down between your legs.

with a soft whack - you pull your hand back, feeling the brief millisecond feeling of venom’s tendril giving your impatient hand a tiny spank.

“silly little woman.”

“our wife’s always been impatient,” toji snickers lowly, wrapping his palm around his veiny, thick cock. he takes two deep breaths before plap after plap, and he’s just smacking his mushroomy tip against your slobbering cunt.

again.

“toji, tojiiiii-” you’d moan at the occasional tender stings from each playful hit. his tip’s so perfectly round ‘n plump, just gifting your pretty pussy with various hits. “breed me, fuuuck- don’t miss, pleaseplease-”

in his head, he’s counting each sloppy slap of his creamy tip tapping against your folds. he could just hear the sheer neediness in your voice, and that’s when toji starts to align himself again.

you’re throbbing ridiculously - muttering out faint, inaudible whimpers of ‘please’ and ‘fuck’ ‘s as he’s sliding his ruby-red crownhead up and down the drooling slope of your pussy.

“mhm, needy ‘lil thing. can’t go a second without throbbing,” toji groans, watching as your right thigh starts to twitch. as his ripped abdomen presses further into yours, he brings a wet kiss toward your left shoulder blade. “ ‘s that what you really want, sweetheart? for me to finish ins- oh, fuck.”

with a sharp, three-second hiss - toji feels his hips shudder. it’s a warning, a warning that he was about to erupt and fuck, you felt every prominent vein on his ramming cock pulse through your core.

vehemently, his rhythm turns from sprightly to sloppy within seconds and he’s raising your leg slightly. “ ‘m cumming, sugar. better.. hah- pussy better swallow it all like a good girl, ugh-”

with your squished chin resting on top of your arm, you stared at the lewd reflected image of yourself and toji through the mirror that hung across the two of you.

like a madman - he’s drilling into your very being with venom’s dark silhouette hovering over you both.

he’s reaching such deep, tender areas and you’re whimpering after each slapping thrust.

“toji- uuuh- toji, mgh-” you’d whimper, his hits against your ass with his pelvis being so vicious that you could almost taste it.

it’s so powerful - each direct hit that he flawlessly slams into with his cock has your cute, dilated pupils spiraling into permanent cartoony circles. with the help of venom, toji ends up stretching his dick just a few more inches inside of you, and your mouth drops.

his tip swirls its way around your gripping pussy before it’s finally coming to its risqué end.

you’re laid flat on your mattress as nothing but a tiny, inaudible gasp-like ‘fuck’ drags its way from your lips. toji’s cock that stretch stretch stretched just a little bit more ended up gifting the lower part of your tummy with a protruding bump.

he finishes in the rawest, lecherous manner, flooding every corner ‘n crevice of your gripping walls with syrupy, white cum. your thighs that glued together perfectly were greeted with a few welcoming dewdrops of toji’s slick mess. rough, callused fingertips ran ahold of your waist and you could feel him writhing behind you.

hooded, olive eyes zero down your body, and the natural sheet of sweat that decorated a path down your arched back.

god.

“heh- that’s my gi-”

“we aren’t finished,” you uttered, grabbing toji’s bulky shoulders and lightly shoving him on his back. with a surprised yet amused ‘uuf’ he lands as his half-opened eyes stare at the dripping, creamy mess streaming from between your legs. “lie back.”

venom, being toji’s conscious once more, snickers at your audacity as he watches the scene of you straddling his host.

“tojo buddy, if you won’t re-marry her, i will.”

“dude, i told you, it’s toji, and shut the hell u- fuuuck.”

♡ ♡ ♡

position after position after position and you gave toji an absolute run for his money. he didn’t expect at all for you to have as much stamina competing with him and venom combined. you even lost count of how many mind-boggling, eye-rolling, tear-jerking orgasms you’ve got snatched out of you. it’s probably been hours, and you and toji were merely both at your inevitable limits.

he’s stuffed you full with sooo many seconds and thirds and fourths and even fifths of sweltering cum that you felt like you were about to burst.

toji’s entirely milked out - or at least, he thinks he is, and now, you’re straddling him.

you’re straddling him, but from behind.

with lazy, droopy eyes, toji slides the tip of his tongue across the seam of his scarred lips as he watches you move. “mhm, gonna go reverse on me, yeah pretty girl?” he huffs, already feeling the slickly torrid mess stick against his thighs.

you’re reaaaal slow - a torturous type of slow that nearly does toji’s head in. he’s peering at your ass moving, but you’re not bouncing.

you’re not bouncing because he and you both knew that not only were you close again but he was too.

toji’s entire body felt hot, preparing lava. the humid, scorching temperature sizzles and arises after each bestial-like slam of your hips and he grunts. “god, y’er a… hah- little brat, arentcha.”

“aw, do you need a break, toji?”

“yes he does-” venom tried to chime in.

“no- no, i don’t,” toji breathes gruffly, beads and beads of sweat tearing down each side of his face. his hair’s all ruffled and unkempt, black strands nearly blocking his vision as his thick neck tosses itself back. “atta girl, ride it then. ride it like it’s fuckin’ yours, baby.”

slap one - and you moaned, hearing and feeling toji’s harsh palm swat against your right left ass cheek.

slap two - and you gasped, his hand smacking against the right.

and the third and final slap - it’s from venom, and one of his tendrils that sloppily slides from between your thighs noisily slaps against your already full, cum-dripping pussy.

toji’s jaw significantly tightens as he just watches in awe, silently gawking at the familiar sight he’s always loved seeing — his pretty ‘lil wife straddling him, he’s missed it, he’s missed you.

“fuck-” you held in a whine by giving the flat of your tongue a soft nibbles.

his cock from all girthy sides was just so fat, and the curve that stretches through your core every time you spring back down against his lap drives you both up the first street of insanity.

this reversing angle—it’s so intimate, and it’s always been one of toji’s weaknesses.

as you’re winding your hips ‘round in a hypnotic, perfect figure eight, venom’s just nagging all in toji’s ear.

the symbiote’s bored, and by the second he’s only getting more and more aroused. with a low grumble, toji told him to just wait then he’d get his turn. hopefully.

you almost did forget about the whole ‘parasite’ thing, but who were you to complain, let alone ask questions?

your legs sprawled nice and wide, and you’re nearly squatting as your cunt continued to swallow every inch of his cock. it’s so wide too, deeply prodding inside ‘till it reaches that pretty cervix of yours.

the curly, black hairs that stuck beneath toji’s slick-covered shaft tickled you, and you’re just panting continuously like a greyhound.

“sugar, fuck- bring those hips back to me like that, mhm. right there, right fuckin’ there . . please-”

please.

oh, he’s begging.

as you maintained a secure grip on his shaky knees with your hands, you heard the wanton tremor in toji’s voice.

by now, he’s reclined allll the way back against your plush pillows with his legs feeling like complete mush. fuck, you’ve probably rode him to death, because he could barely hold onto your hips anymore.

“toji… hah- cum with me, baby-” you mumbled, feeling his clammy fingertips slither down the sides of your waist.

like a wooden chair—you’re just rocking and rocking, not even minding the constant grunts and bellowing groans of your outdated boxspring that sits beneath your mattress.

it’s just so slick - your pussy, it’s sliding up ‘n down toji’s cock and he heard every clamoring, wet splat. he’s just almost mesmerized at how well you knew how to take him every time. his mouth’s as dry as it’s ever been, and you’re starting to feel that oh-so-familiar fluttering pool of butterflies stir in the lower pits of your tummy.

“heh, you called me baby-”

“shut up.”

“make m- ngh-”

blinking thrice, toji grunts once he feels your hand wrap around his neck. you’re still facing forward—riding him in reverse with your arm extended from behind you.

his neck was just so thick that you could barely bring all five fingers to squeeze his neck. “cute-” toji slyly titters, but his brattiness fatally comes to an end once he’s starting to feel his dick twitch.

his body - it’s rumbling, and your cunt’s pulsing increases after each slapping thrust. the stimulation always knew how to make your head spin, and for a second, it just felt like time indefinitely paused.

torrid, cloud breaths draw away straight from toji’s puffed-out chest and he groans. he’s riiight there, he’s right there and he could feel his creamy tip that’s messily poking around your insides trying to cling around your warmth.

as you’re just vigorously slapping your ass against his lap now, he’s left speechless.

“o- oh, oh sugar- your fuckin’ hips, yeahyeaaah-” and he’s whimpering now, long black lashes sticking together with what appears to be tears.

toji’s holding onto your rotating waist tightly, breathing through his nose as he hears each popping slosh of your cunt preparing to wring him dry for the nth time.

“toji, something’s about to-” you’d blurt, pausing mid-sentence, keeping both hands on his knees. toji’s tearing up at the sloppy, vicious strings of cum that threatens to depart from both pairs of slapping thighs that slap louder after each violent pound.

his dick’s all red ‘n swollen, from top to bottom as it’s covered with veins that paint the shriveling sides. your legs were about to give out at any second and so was his.

toji’s tip which was oh-so round ends up massaging your tightening walls perfectly, smothering your sensitive g-spot with a plethora of sweet french kisses.

“ah-” you squeal, your eyes widening as you’re coming to your end again. your throat - it feels so hot, so parched and you’re just gradually being led to your release. the adequate force of your brutal, tossing hips makes toji’s leafy irises reel further back.

glittery, wet lashes stick together piercing both pads of thumbprints into your ridden flesh — and oh, he’s cumming for what’s probably the umpteenth time now.

you both succumb to pleasure and you’re each hit with rippling waves and waves of swelling pleasure. finally, your legs end up collapsing and your jaw’s left goofily hanging.

you end up gushing, clenching internally as your labored breaths get tangled in your full lungs. it’s so wet, and as toji’s cock remained buried idly past the taut ring of your entrance, he’s pouring yet another milky wad of cum inside of you. it’s thick and smooth like honey, stickily melting inside of you like butter.

“mhm, f.. fuck-” you kissed your teeth, hearing toji’s heavy, defeated breaths exhale from behind you.

the air in the room felt so intoxicating - cloudy. as you sat still on his lap with his leaking cock still lodged inside of you, that same aroma of pure filth and intimacy smacks your nostrils right in the face.

its citrusy with a hint of sweetness, and your thighs couldn’t help but shudder above his.

“good girl, heh- think ya cured me just f- fine.” toji hoarsely murmurs, taking every few seconds to breathe.

two rough hands gingerly raise your hips, widely peering at the frothy, white ring that coats around his tan base. pearly, clear slick of your own mess stuck against your thighs as you let off muffled moans.

everything felt so tender - and in every millisecond that passed, you felt all ropes of toji’s cum plug you to the very fullest. “c’mere, girl-” he groggily murmured, and you gasped, feeling one of venom’s tendrils wrap around your waist.

with a swift movement — you’re pulled closer, breaking the distance between the two of you. toji smashes his scarred lips against yours, slipping off occasional husky whimpers in your mouth as he felt your fingers wrap around his flaccid cock. his whines pitch higher, and your thumb runs down a prodding vein that twitches from your touch.

it’s an intense, breath-snatching kiss that leaves you both gasping for air after each smack of departure from lips. as you moaned in his mouth, you could still taste remnants of your treacly arousal on his tongue.

“i love-” he whispers between kisses, and you slide out a whine once you feel venom’s tendrils swirl around your waist.

heartbeats pulsed rapidly, matching tempos of each other as your tongue disappeared inside toji’s mouth.he grunts, bringing his crimson kiss-bitten lips toward the crack of your jaw as your mouth remains agape.

“-you. s ‘much, f- fuck, you sure know how to milk me, sugar. reminds me of our . . hah- honeymoon.”

“just . . stop talking,” you roll your eyes—still feeling the after-effects of your body’s sensitive convulsions. you still felt so stuffed, still feeling the gooey remnants of cum trickle out of your dewy pussy. as toji’s eyes remained hooded and drooped, he flashes you that same smug grin. “i still- love you too-”

“there’s my girl,” toji huskily whispers against your lips, circling a thumb over the line that curves above the top of your mouth. you moaned, watching as he brought your hand up to his before kissing it -

repeatedly, before he brought your empty ring finger up toward his lips and kissed it. “mwah,” and you felt your pulse pick up before feeling toji’s broad arms pick you up. “up and at ‘em, wifey.”

but once you’re positioned to lay flat on your back, that’s when venom switches with toji again. you’re met with the same overly tall, massive ‘parasite’ with a dozen rows of whetted, white teeth.

venom slowly opens his jaw — showcasing his long, dripping pink tongue that dampens even more once he sees your filled pussy twitching solely at the sound of his venomous, deep voice.

all over his body, he’s covered with veins, and as your eyes trail ‘n trail way down, you land at his abs and stop just below his waistline.

your eyes widened as you felt hands softly grab your hips, and he brought one of his tendrils to make you face the other way.

a sultry-sounding moan escapes out of your raw throat as your face plants against your pillow.

“mmgh-” and you let off a surprised breathy gasp, feeling not one but a pair of two rockhard things slapping against the entrance of your bare cunt.

“toji- ngh, venom- i… is that-”

“now bend for me, sweet thing. my turn.”

[impactrueno]

🪲Beetlejuice as Mephistopheles😈

so you guys might've seen that my masquerade comic has BJ wearing this funny little get up after people were expecting me to draw him wearing the Phantom's Red Death costume.

just who is Mephistopheles?

our devilishly charismatic fiend friend Mephisto is the reason we use the term "Faustian bargain" to refer to a deal with the devil. in the legend, Faust was an alchemist who ended up selling his soul to Mephistopheles in order to gain knowledge, power and pleasure. he is, quite literally, a trickster demon full of wit and a taste for irony looking to get something out of you. sound familiar?

of course, deals with the devil didn't originate with Faust, and neither did the trope of the devil being a charming and witty character. Faust just popularized it and greatly influenced later characters following this trope. Hades from Hercules is a pretty solid example, since he takes after Satan more than he does the actual Hades from greek mythology (which is on purpose, since the movie plays with christian elements for comedic effect, like the muses singing gospel and Hercules being like a combination of Jesus Christ Superstar and Superman.)

every now and then i see people complain that Lydia referring to Beetlejuice as a "trickster demon" in BJBJ messes with the lore, because "he's supposed to be a ghost," but he has always been more demon than ghost if you ask me. "trickster demon" is a perfect descriptor for him: he has a specific summoning ritual, powers beyond what normal ghosts can do, and is always always trying to tempt people into chaos and tricking them into making a deal. i'll give you knowledge, but your soul is mine. i'll save your loved ones, but you'll have to marry me.

despite this Beetlejuice and Mephistopheles are both funny characters, hardly menacing. doing fun little magic tricks and mocking wordplay, even though they can (and will) ruin your life. yet at the same time, they're not quite as evil as they might appear at first. it's always funny noting how Beetlejuice in the movies technically stuck to his word the entire time. surprisingly high level of integrity for someone like him, but that's part of why he's so great imo.

the scene in the original movie where Beetlejuice shows up as a circus attraction to get rid of the yuppies that came to Winter River to gentrify the town into a tourist trap is just the kind of thing Mephistopheles would do. same with how he gets rid of Rory in BJBJ, playing the role of the therapist to someone who used psychobabble to manipulate Lydia. ironic twists mocking human sins, that's what Beetlejuice is all about when he's punishing somebody, and it can all be traced back to Mephistopheles.

Mephistopheles is a proto-Beetlejuice, basically. or Beetlejuice is a modern Mephistopheles, however you want to look at it.

ok but why am i talking about this? well first of all, adhd. also this is one of my favorite character archetypes. i've always wanted to put my oc Rocky in a story where he's a Mephisto-type of figure. i used to think that the closest i got to that was when i crossovered him with Beetlejuice (you had to be there) but writing this post i...just remembered something. (feel free to skip the next paragraph, it has nothing to do with Beetlejuice lol)

i have this unfinished short story i started to write a while back, in mid 2018. i was miserable, going through a really bad depressive episode, and i was looking for something that could inspire me to create again and get back on my feet. just to practice and for shits and giggles i started writing a simple freeform story where a character named [redacted], who was a stand-in for myself, is suffering from writers block despite not being a writer, and basically wants to be good at writing. while muttering something about how he'd even "make a deal with the devil to become a good writer," he accidentally ends up summoning "the devil" (it's just Rocky) who's all silly and charismatic and offering him a deal. what i wrote ends there, i never finished it. but very soon after that, i rediscovered The Simpsons and started writing Those Springfield Kids. fast forward to a few years later, my SpringKids versions of the characters end up becoming part of an official couch gag animated by The Simpsons team. so. i guess...the deal worked? spooky lol (my Faustian downsides are 1. i can never finish anything i start and 2. i'm stuck here in Venezuela.)

anyway! i originally wrote this as a thread on twitter so i could introduce people to Mephistopheles since i was going to make a reference in the masquerade comic with BJ's costume. i just added a little bit more stuff (and the personal anecdote above) in this post. i would've posted this much earlier but on the day i was going to do it, my blog got nuked. now that i got it back, i can post this!

bonus: the shin megami tensei version of mephistopheles, plus david who is a reference to camille saint-saëns Danse Macabre, which i've ALSO referenced in my beetlejuice stuff a couple of times

ty for reading

next time i yap like this it'll be about the gravediggers from hamlet and how they're another core beetlejuice archetype. ESPECIALLY musical beetlejuice.

[faeriichaii]

Heyyy, I hope you are doing alright!

I wanted to request a kinda mean but later soft Thranduil x Shy Fem!Reader smut ♡ in which the Reader loves to read and sneaks into a forbidden part of the library and gets caught by Thranduil ;) ♡

Bookworm ~ Thranduil x Fem!Shy!Elf!Reader

A/N: Omg never did I ever expect to see a Thranduil request (even more shocking that it is a smut request🤭) But sure, I can do that for you <33 (Ngl I was very scared about writing this cause Thranduil is like such a hard character for me to write but I obv still appreciate it when I get him requested <33)

⇢ ˗ˏˋ Warnings: Smut (MDNI), unprotected sex, bj ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Words: 3k ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Request: Yes <33 ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Hiril vuin ~ My Lady ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Meleth Nin ~ My Love ࿐ྂ ⇢ ˗ˏˋ Agórel vae ~ You did well ࿐ྂ

Summary: Legolas let the secret of a restricted area in the library slip, which makes you of course very curious. So after deciding to enter the forbidden part, you get caught by none other than the elven king himself.

Enjoying the serene chirping of the birds, you turned the page of your book. You sat under a tree in the beautiful garden of Mirkwood. The book in your hand only had a few pages left and you just had to know how the story of the princess goes. Does she get her happy end or does the prince of hearts decide to take her down? You don’t know yet, however you are very keen to find it out. A soft gasp left your lips, as your book was taken out of your hands. “Isn’t this one of the books in the restricted area?” Legolas asked, as he turned the book around to quickly skim over the summary. His finger was still placed between the pages, in order to not make you lose the spot you have last read. He once did it by accident and he still hasn’t really recovered from the hell that you let loose upon him.

“Restricted area? I never saw a restricted area.” You said, as you stood up from your place on the ground and snatched the book out of Legolas’ grasp. “I probably shouldn’t have mentioned it.” The prince began to walk away from you, however you couldn’t just let him go after he dropped this very important secret. “Wait Legolas! You can’t just walk away now. Where is this restricted area?” A sigh left his lips as you stood beside him and looked up at him with your big eyes. “My father would kill you if he spots you in there (Y/N). It really isn’t even worth it. The only person who walks in there is him and I sometimes join him, and let me tell you, the books are mostly on history about middle earth and nothing special.” He tried to reason with you, but you were insisting on finding this so-called restricted section.

“Legolas, we have been friends for more than just centuries, you do know me and you certainly know that I know the layout of the library better than anybody else. So how come I have never seen the restricted area?” Legolas stopped walking, which made you also stop in your tracks. “There is a mechanism to it. You have to pull a lever in order to open the restricted area and enter it. But (Y/N)…” He turned towards you and grabbed your shoulders tightly. “You really can’t enter. If my father finds out, that you have been in the restricted area, then he will certainly send you far away or set an even worse punishment upon you.” His worried eyes locked onto your own. You gave him a reassuring smile, before shaking his hands off from your shoulders. “Don’t worry, I will not go in there. I promise.” What the prince didn’t saw, were your crossed fingers, that were hidden away in the pages of the book you now desperately wanted to return to the library.

After you said your goodbyes to Legolas, you decided to take a detour to the library. Just to put away the book you still held onto tightly. No other reason. Opening the big wooden doors, you walked towards the designated shelf and put away the book. Turning around, you scanned the whole room for any kind of lever. You walked towards the few golden candle holders, that were attached to the wall. Letting your fingers graze over the cold metal, you carefully tried to pull it, however it didn’t budge. A sigh left your lips as you continued to stroll around the library. You have been walking around for quite some time, until you noticed a little shelf that is tucked into the corner of the room. Examining it, you decided to try and search through the books, if they possibly could be the lever, you have been searching for.

Your eyes focused on a dark green book. The golden edges almost seemed to glow, as you let your fingers trail over the intricate design. Gently pulling on the book out of the shelf, you heard a click. The shelf started to move to your right, opening a small staircase to you. A smile spread across your lips, as you decide to walk down the few steps. Your eyes widened at the few shelves, that lined the stone walls of the small room. Each of the shelves were filled with various books and scrolls, some even in a language you can’t read. ‘How to Brew the Perfect Concoction’ or ‘Middle Earth: Past, Present and Future’ were only a few of the titles you have read on the spines. You took out a dark blue book, dusted it off and read the title. ‘The Golden Egg: A Guide for Dragons’. You didn’t even know that there was a book, explaining how to care for dragons. Putting it back on the shelf, you continued to stroll around the room. Time flew by quickly, as you read various pages of different books, and scrolls, until you found one you really wanted to take back upstairs. Tucking it in your small bag, you walk back up the stairs, pulled the lever that was attached to the wall and walked out. It only took you a few steps until you realized that the king himself was browsing through a shelf that was a little too close to the opening of the restricted area. His eyebrow raised, as he spotted you walk out of the direction of the small shelf. A blush dusted your cheeks, as you quickly did a curtsy and muttered a ‘My King’ in greeting. He mustered you from head to toe, until he noticed the small book that was peeking out from your bag.

You were ready to quickly exit the library, until Thranduil began to talk. “You did not perhaps take a book from a shelf you are not supposed to touch?” He asked, almost daring you to lie to him. The blush on your cheeks intensified, as you looked up at him. “I don’t think I understand, my king. I just took this book from a shelf that I have inspected earlier.” His eyes moved from your own, towards your bag again. “Well, I do hope so. If you would ever enter places, you are not meant to be in, than you will leave me with no choice but to set a punishment upon you.” He spoke, authority dripping with each word. A shudder spread through your body, as your mind registered his words. “Of course, my king. I would never do such a thing.” You smiled softly at him, before politely curtsying and leaving him be in the library. After walking through the big wooden doors, you let out a deep breath you didn’t even knew you were holding. Hopefully the book will be worth the trouble.

A few days passed and you devoured each and every single word, that was written on the pages. Hence you were once again standing in the middle of the restricted area, searching for another book to pass your time. You were at the furthest corner of the room, intensely reading a scroll, that you have found, until you heard the sound of the shelf moving. How come the shelf is moving? Your eyes widened, as the sound of footsteps walking down the stairs echoed throughout the room. Quickly shoving the scroll back into the shelf, you hid behind the burgundy armchair, that was tucked in a neat corner of the room. Holding your breath, you watched as Legolas entered the room together with his father.

“Why are we down here father?” The prince asked, as he let his fingertips glide over some of the dusty books. “We need to search for a scroll. It should be wrapped with a red ribbon around it.” A shudder went down your spine, as you spotted the red ribbon you have removed earlier from the scroll on the ground. In the exact same moment, Legolas picked it up from the floor and wrapped it around the scroll you carelessly shoved into the shelf. “I think I have found it.” He said and presented the item to his father. The king raised an eyebrow at the unravelled scroll. “Did you start reading it already?” “No, not yet.” Legolas answered, wrapping the ribbon around the paper and walking towards the stairs, in order to leave the room. He tilted his head, as he noticed that his father didn’t follow him. “Do you need something else?” “Yes, but you can already start reading the scroll if you want.” Thranduil said, his eyes still carefully scanning the room. Your head was ducked, in order to not get spotted by his hawk-like gaze.

The fading footsteps of Legolas leaving the room made you feel a little bit more relieved. However, you still felt Thranduils looming presence in the small space. “There is no need to continue hiding Hiril vuin.” His voice still seemed a little too far away for him to have spotted you. “You think I didn’t know you took the book from this very room?” Steps slowly started to approach your hiding location, making you duck even further behind the armchair. “I was the one who sorted through the books and scrolls and decided if they would be fit for this restricted area of the library. You weren’t even supposed to know of its existence. So how exactly did you find this room?” His feet stopped in front of the burgundy armchair. “And how dare you lie to me and still hide away like a little mouse.” A shameful blush dusted your cheeks, as you slowly stood up from your position on the floor. “My king, I can explain-“ He waved his hand, signalling you to stop talking. His eyes were filled with rage, as he deeply looked into your own ones. “You lied and now expect me to listen to your pathetic excuse?” You swallowed thickly, looking down at your feet. “You leave me with no other choice but to banish you.” “Banish me?” Your head whipped up, eyes wide and lips parted. Your heart beat faster and faster, as the punishment of your actions settled into your brain.

“Please my king, don’t banish me! I will do any other punishment that you are willing to put me through, but I am begging you, don’t banish me from Mirkwood.” Hands clasped in front of you, you fell down on your knees in front of him. Tears were lining your vision as slight panic settled into your body. You can’t get banished. You have family and friends in Mirkwood and where else are you supposed to go? The king raised an eyebrow, as you kneeled in front of him, pleading him for mercy. “You are willing to do anything?” You quickly nodded at his question. Hope filled your mind and soul as you stood up from the ground. Thranduil took a step closer to you. His right hand wiped a tear away, that escaped your eyes. Heat spread through your body at the realization of your close proximity.

“Show me how much you want my forgiveness.” He whispered, his fingers holding onto your chin. A shaky breath left your lips, as you let your eyes trail down to his own. The magnetic pull towards him was almost unbearable. The urge to just put your lips over his own and entangling your hands in his hair driving you crazy. You looked back up into his eyes, that were glistening over with unspoken want. Grasping his shirt, you quickly pulled him down, encasing his lips with your own. His hands held onto your waist, pulling you closer. You let your hands slowly trail from his chest to his neck, as you opened your mouth, letting your tongue entangle with his in a passionate kiss.

Thranduil separated from you. Your cheeks were bright red, as you took a few breaths to relax from the heated kiss. “Can’t you take more than a mere kiss Hiril vuin?” His head tilted to the side, as mockery dripped from every word he muttered. A huff left your lips. “I can take more than you think.” And with that you pulled him down once more, kissing him even more feverously than before. His grasp on you tightened, as he approached the armchair. Parting from you, he sat down on the plush furniture. His legs were slightly spread, as his arms leaned on the armrests. Your eyes trailed his form, until they stopped at the slight tent, that seemed to grow in his pants.

“Let’s see how well you listen to my orders now. Take off your clothes.” Your hands went to your shoulders. Fingers grazing over the fabric, you took your time pulling the sleeves off of your body. Your dress gently slid down your body, as it pooled on the ground. Eyes still focused on the king who sat in the armchair, you hooked your fingers into your panties. Pulling them down, you stepped out of the pile of clothes and began to approach Thranduil.   

His eyes trailed over your body, leaving a hot trail as they go. Your walls clenched around nothing, as you inspected him. “What do you wish me to do next my king?” A chuckle left his lips. His fingers motioning you over. “I want you to prove your statement. You said you can take more than I think, so I want to see how much you can really take.” Thranduil unbuttoned his pants, lifted his hips from the chair and discarded the garment on the ground. His cock was long and thick. A soft gasp left your lips. You moved down on your knees in front of him, your mouth mere inches away from his tip. “My king, will you allow me to take a taste?” Innocence laced your voice, as you looked at him through your lashes. He nodded at your suggestion.

At the approval, you wrapped your hand around his base. Your mouth encased his red tip, gently sucking on it. A shuddered breath came from Thranduil, as he held onto the back of your head with one hand, making you moan softly at his touch. You took more of him into your mouth, gagging slightly at the process. Your tongue stroked the vein of his cock as you slowly started to bop your head up and down, hand covering the part of him that didn’t fit into your mouth. Groans could be heard from the elven king, as his piercing eyes stared at how well you took him with your mouth. Your walls clenched around nothing and you could feel your wetness almost drip onto the floor. Craving to be touched, you let your free hand wander to your clit. “Don’t you dare touch yourself.” Retreating your hand from yourself, you let out a sad whine. Thranduils hand pulled on your hair gently. You let his cock go with a ‘plop’ and tilted your head to the side, awaiting your new order. “Sit down.” He said, patting his thighs.

Standing up from the ground, you placed your legs on each side of his. Cold air hit your dripping core, making you gasp. Thranduils hands grasped your hips tightly as the tip of his cock grazed your swollen clit. A whine escaped your lips at the intimate touch. “I want you to ride me. Work for it and earn your orgasm.” His lips brushed against your ear. You took his cock into your hands and aligned it with your entrance. Slowly you sank down, the feeling of the stretch making you part your lips in a silent cry. A groan from Thranduils lips bounced off the walls. You tightly held onto his shoulders, as you let yourself settle down and embrace his sheer size inside you completely. He was longer and thicker than you expected. After a few seconds of letting your pussy adjust to his size, you started to slowly move up and down. The elven kings hand trailed up your body, to grasp your boobs and twirl your nipples between his fingers.

Moaning at the feeling of his cock hitting your cervix and completely filling you up, you connected your lips to his. The wet squelching sound of your pussy filled the small restricted area of the library. A familiar warmth spread through your lower region. Thranduil detached himself from your lips and leaned towards your ear. “Are you really already close? Is my cock so satisfying to you?” He gently bit into your elven ear, making you gasp out loudly. Your walls squeezed him tightly, welcoming him even deeper into your core. The king let his hand travel down your body, his fingertips gently leaving a trail. He drew circles on your swollen clit, making you arch your back.

The knot tightened, as your walls clenched on his dick. “Don’t cum yet. You have to wait. After all, it is still a punishment.” A whine left your lips at his words, only wishing to let the orgasm wash over you. “Please.” You begged him, as he even start to move his hips upwards, matching your rhythm. “What do you want Hiril vuin? Use your words.” “Please Thranduil, let me cum.” The sound of his name leaving your lips makes his dick twitch inside you. His hand grabbed your chin and pulled you in for another quick kiss. The heat that travels through your body is unbearable, as you try to hold back your orgasm. “You can cum Meleth Nin.” And with that, the knot unravelled and you came, squeezing his dick inside you. His big hands moved towards your hips, shoving you up and down on his dick at a relentless pace. Whining at the overstimulation, you buried your head in his neck. After a few more thrusts, you felt his cock twitch, as he filled you up with his seed.

He continued to move inside you for a few more times, before pulling out. His cum mixed with your own slowly started to trickle out of your core. “Agórel vae Meleth Nin.” Thranduil held your warm face in his hand, thumb drawing circles onto your cheek. He gave you a gentle kiss on the lips. “Do you still wish to banish me my king?” You asked him, arms wrapped around his neck. “I think you proved that you definitely deserve my forgiveness Hiril vuin.”

[mintsparrow]

I love how McBride & Co represent the relationship to masculinity and anger in The Righteous Gemstones. Eli's anger is felt in his presence and the way people around him react to him. His sons flinch when he raises a hand. His voice booms across Sunday Lunch and everyone quiets. He knows he has a reputation for strength, so when he is taunted for being old and losing his grip, he doubles down on pain and punishment. His anger is the only tool he knows how to use when he feels like he's losing control. Jesse's anger is explosive and clumsy; it's the first emotion he turns to when he's hurt and vulnerable, and it overflows and bubbles over destructively. He puffs his chest, struts in front of his friends, degrades others, exudes a desire for violence... but it's interesting to me that he uses others to get what he wants. He sends his friends after his rivals, teaches BJ how to box... but he doesn't step in himself. Jesse's anger is a weapon, but he's not able to wield it in the same way his father wields it. Kelvin's anger is caustic and piercing; he lashes out verbally, roots out insecurities and needles at them. He tells Keefe that he doesn't need him, he constantly reminds Jesse that his kids don't respect him, and he writes Judy off as unimportant - all things that they fear the most. His anger is a shield, the thing he puts up every time he feels fear or insecurity.

BJ's anger is often ignored or lampooned, by both Judy and her brothers, even though he's usually angry on her behalf. He's written off as a joke; but when he has to confront Stephen, his anger is recognized and validated. I think it's interesting that BJ fights his own battles where Jesse won't. I also think it's interesting that his quiet "I hope you like me now" to Judy hits so much harder than the bloody brawl that precedes it. And his anger in S4 feels like such a big shift for him: he refuses to be sidelined, and allows himself to be selfish. He's going through pain that he's never felt before; he doesn't have a "normal" while he's injured, so his feelings manifest as anger.

Baby Billy's anger feels... fermented. Soured. He's been holding onto a grudge ever since Eli took away Aimee-Leigh, and he seems bitter about how much he's lost, ruined, or burned in his attempt to get somewhere close to Eli's success. His anger feels like an old wound that he won't stop nursing. His anger turns him into a villain.

Gideon's anger is big and then almost entirely vanishes. S1 hangs on the actions of his anger; the disappointment in his dad and the frustration that comes from a family that doesn't support his dreams. His response is easily the most destructive to the entire family. But in subsequent seasons it feels like Gideon is constantly holding back; he deflects insults from his family rather than lashing back. When we do see his anger it's when his family is in danger - when the cycle ninjas go after Eli, or Peter & his militia kidnap the siblings. Unlike Jesse, Gideon's able to follow through on his threats. Unlike BJ, Gideon's taken seriously. Unlike Eli, his anger isn't his only tool; it's often his last resort.

And then there's Keefe.

Keefe feels unique to me, because of his lack of anger. I think we only see Keefe get angry once; when he walks in on Kelvin and Taryn. Unlike a lot of the other characters on the show, Keefe is more likely to feel fear or sadness, and he's not afraid to show any of those feelings. He's visibly crying when he's driving away from Kelvin's house in S1, and he's the only one at the lake house who's willing to admit that he was the one who made a mistake. (I'm still not over Kelvin's face when Keefe says he overstepped his bounds).

The one time Keefe is angry, he's reacting out of surprise and jealousy, and Kelvin seems to clock it pretty quickly. Keefe's not loud, he doesn't threaten, not even when Kelvin calls his rocking chair stupid. He sulks, does a cartwheel, and removes himself from the situation. It's interesting to me that when Keefe shows anger, it's in response to an emotion that he's not allowed to show - love.

All of the different ways the show uses anger feels like different facets of how a man's anger is usually the only way he is allowed to show emotion, and I think it's really interesting that Danny McBride & co were able to use all of these different men to showcase how their anger was actually jealousy, fear, sadness, and other vulnerabilities.

[ghostgirl-22]

hi Dani <3 love love love your writing and I adore how you write our lovely toxic tennis throuple.

okay so hear me out, whenever people write ATP it's either Art in the middle or Patrick in the middle but I'm a firm believer that Tashi loves to be in the middle (cough cough hotel scene!) just because our queen is dominant that doesn't mean she doesn't want to get absolutely blasted I mean hello?? can't a baddie catch a vibe? what's the point of having two guys if you can't take them at the same time? there's not enough Tashi Eiffel tower content in the world.

anyway this is a very unnecessarily long way of me asking you to write an ATP threesome with powerbottom!Tashi <3 like I just imagine her taking one of them from the front and the other from the back and she won't let them finish until she's satisfied. or maybe she's on her knees for the both of them going back and forth and she won't let them touch her. please make my dream come true ✨

Yes!!! A thousand times yes<3 You’re so very real for this anon. She likes to be in the middle… it’s canon actually. Prompt is better than the fic I fear but I gave it the old college try heh.

CW: MDNI, NSFW, canon drift, early days of porn hub, squirting, bjs, unsafe sex, underaged drinking, mild exhibitionism (if you squint), intoxication, not beta’d so please feel free to point out issues. 3.4k words.

Summary: Tashi tries alcohol for the first time and decides she probably (read: definitely) wants to be double teamed by her boyfriend and his best friend. Not that the alcohol changes anything. She woulda fucked them anyway. :)

—-

Tashi’s a good girl. She gets straight A’s. She’s always home by curfew.  She’s talented but she never takes short cuts. Perfect student, perfect athlete, perfect daughter. 

She’s always been good but she’s never been normal. Normal isn’t winning your first junior open at 12 years old. Normal isn’t getting your first sponsorship at 14. Normal isn’t whatever she’s got going on with her boyfriend and his best friend. 

It’s boring really. It’s nothing. Patrick’s in town and she let him invite Art over. She picked Patrick but she still has a crush on Art. Even more so, whenever she watches him play. She likes them both, especially when they’re together. She has little fantasies where she gets them to kiss again. Imagines what it would have been like that night in Flushing if she stayed in their bedroom. She’d been too nervous to stay out late with her little tattle tale brothers in the hotel room waiting to tell mom and dad if she’d been gone too long. She wonders what would’ve happened if she let them both have her instead of making them work for it. Shes a good girl really she is…she just gets horny sometimes. 

They’re sitting in her dorm room. Both boys on the floor, she’s stretched out horizontally on her extra long twin, resting on her tummy, legs bent at the knees, she swings them back and forth idly. They’re watching Batman Begins, eating individually packaged cheesecake from the grocery store and drinking wine coolers.

Well, Art and Patrick are drinking. She’s never tried alcohol before outside of an accidental sip of her dads red stripe beer when she was little and they were on vacation in Jamaica. Since then she planned to wait till she was 21, just about a year to go. She never felt like she was missing anything. She’s so good. But she’s also a little bored and mildly curious so she does take a little sip out of Patrick’s bottle of Smirnoff. And then another. 

“It doesn’t taste horrible.” 

Patrick looks up at her, smirking, mischief in his eyes. “Maybe you want the rest?” 

She shrugs and takes the bottle from him, finishing it off. Art glances at her and when she turns to meet his gaze he looks back at the television.  Typical for when the three of them are together. 

She behaves herself with the two of them usually … the first night they met being the exception. She kinda makes a couple mistakes tonight though. 

The first mistake is she lets Patrick give her another wine cooler. It’s too sweet and fizzy… it doesn’t taste like nasty beer at all and she drinks it down easily like soda pop. It’s not until her cheeks are warm and her brain processing time seems to have slowed down that she realizes her second mistake. Patrick picks up her laptop, which is fine. He uses it sometimes. It’s no big deal. Except she forgot she hadn’t used it since the night before Patrick came to visit. That night she’d been horny out of her mind and she couldn’t really sleep so as a last ditch effort—

She watches Patrick, seated back on the floor next to Art, it feels like slow motion as he opens the laptop. At the top of the screen in bold is the logo for PornHub. A video titled: “Hot ebony milf gets double teamed by husband and friend.” She didn’t realize it was such a stupid title. 

“Um Tash?” Patrick’s running his fingers along the tracking pad. She doesn’t need to see his face to know he’s grinning like an idiot. 

His voice draws Art’s attention and his gaze lands on the laptop screen just as Patrick hits play. And okay fine. So what… she watches porn. Fuck him… the stuff he watches is probably so much worse.

“Patrick, what are you doing?” Art snaps with all the cadence of an 18th century man who’s just seen an ankle. 

“Yeah Patrick,” Tashi chimes in, trying to sound equally scandalized.

 Patrick turns his grin on her. “Fuck you Tashi… this is your laptop.” His eyes are all sparkly, pretty blue rings shrinking as his pupils get larger. He needs to be studied for how fast he can go from zero to horny. She needs to be studied for how quickly she’s able to meet him there. 

“Fuck you actually,” She says as she reaches over his shoulder and shuts the laptop and the messy sound of skin slapping and over the top moaning quiets. 

Art moves to sit crisscross on the floor. “You’re disgusting Patrick,” he mutters. Hands pushed into his lap. 

Patrick laughs. “Jesus Christ…it wasn’t me. I was just trying to check my play schedule for next week. I didn’t know my sensitive eyes would be assaulted by Tashi’s filthy porn habit.”

Tashi still feels a little dizzy. Kinda brave. “Please. Sensitive eyes. You guys have probably done that in real life with so many girls at boarding school.” 

The room gets all quiet. It’s like even the film has decided not to make a sound.  They’re doing that thing they do where they stare at each other, talking without words and finally Patrick says. “Believe it or not we haven’t. We don’t share girls. Theres a winner…usually me,” he grins. “And a loser.” 

Art rolls his eyes.  

“Bullshit…you don’t share girls, sure okay.” Tashi giggles and is surprised by a little hiccup that follows. “You probably both get hard fighting each other over who gets to have the pussy and who gets the mouth.” 

Patrick’s looking at her all starry eyed. “Well…” he glances at Art. “I mean… I would get your pussy… I mean her…hypothetical pussy of course.”

Art is bouncing his thigh, his gaze on Tashi. “I would… I would never disrespect you… or— or anyone like that.”

Patrick snorts. “You’re so full of shit.” He mutters. 

Art glances back at Patrick. “I wouldn’t.” 

“So you don’t want to double team me Art?” Tashi asks him, softly. “Fill me up from both ends with your both cocks.”

”Holy shit,” Patrick whispers.  

Art starts blinking a lot… for a moment she worries he’ll start crying. “Well… welll….I uh… if that’s what you wanted. I would do that for you.” Art stammers out. 

“How chivalrous,” Patrick says dryly. “Tash… um… what are we talking about here? Cause I’m…” he gestures vaguely at his crotch.

Tashi smirks. “Okay get up… lemme see it,” she hiccups. This feels surreal. She doesn’t think she knows anyone else who had two boys make out with each other for their attention. Her best friend from high school still thinks she’s exaggerating. And now she’s got them both in her bedroom eager to fulfill her porn fantasy. Stupid. Insane. 

Patrick puts her laptop on the ground and gets to his feet quickly… and yeah he’s stupid hard, with his stupidly massive dick.   “See what you do to me?” Patrick sighs. Art looks at him, an almost imperceptible swipe of his tongue against his bottom lip before he looks back to her.

”What about you?” She asks, a little smile playing on her lips. “You don’t wanna show me?”

Art looks back at Patrick and then to her again before getting to his feet. He’s tenting behind his athletic shorts.  

“So I get your pussy right?” Patrick asks softly. 

Tashi smiles and inches forward on the bed till her feet are flat on the ground. She looks between the two of them. “Why don’t you take em out?” 

Patrick hastily undoes his belt and unzips his jeans but Art just has to ease his shorts down. His swollen pink dick bobs out first. She’s never seen it before. Not really. Maybe it’s because she’s drunk… at least she thinks she is… she doesn’t really know what being drunk feels like… but she grabs hold of Art to the sound of his sudden inhale. Soft skin over hard velvety heat, pearls of white liquid dripping from the tip. She smiles up at him before opening her mouth and sucking him inside. 

“Oh,” Art gasps his knees buckle slightly. “Oh my god.” 

Tashi wants to smile but she’s got her tongue sliding between his slit, tasting the salty fluid leaking from the tip. “Mm…” she hums filling her mouth with more to the sound of a strangled moan from Arts lips. She feels Art grab onto her shoulders… like he needs her to keep himself up right. 

“Oh fuck, Tashi.” It’s not Art… it’s Patrick who whispers it. Tashi slides back letting her mouth empty, Art’s dick revealed inch by inch all shiny with her spit. Art is breathing heavy. His eyes heavy lidded. He lets go of her, trying to steady himself. “S-sorry,” he whispered, dazed. She grins and then turns to Patrick. 

He’s got his bottom lip pulled between his teeth, one hand gripping his swollen dick, until she meets his gaze. He lets go of himself. ”God Tashi…” Patrick says softly, he looks so hungry. She loves the sound of her name in his pitchy sex altered voice. Let’s him cup her face in his large palm. 

“You’re so fucking smart and talented…” He teases her like that because she snapped at him once for calling her pretty. (“I’m more than just pretty Patrick… unless thats all you like about me.”)

She grabs at his dick… watching his face as she plays with it… jerking it a little, pressing her thumb along the slit and licking her thumb afterwards. Hes dumb sexy and he knows it, freckles everywhere, his ears all pink, eyes falling shut, lips parted as he groans softly, “Fuck yes.” He breathes as she slowly fills her mouth with as much as she can manage. She reaches over and grabs hold of Art at the same time while she hollows her cheeks around Patrick. 

Patrick moans and Art whimpers. She looks up and Patricks staring at her, one hand resting flat along Arts tummy. She feels so wet between her thighs she thinks her panties might be soaked. Patrick plays his fingers into her hair, grabbing at her ponytail trying to push for more and she pulls back. 

“Mm… no fucking way… you really think either of you are allowed to cum before me?” She hiccups. 

Art shakes his head. “What if I’m…. What if we can’t help it?” 

“Be careful Tash, he’s easy,” Patrick breathes. 

“I forgot you two jerk off together,” Tashi smiles. 

Patrick shrugs. 

“You know you never told me what happened after I left you alone in Flushing.” She adds, curiously, reminded of her standing irritation that he's always so tight lipped about it.

All Patrick offers is a toothy smile. “You should have stayed.”

Art clears his throat. “Im… im not easy just… i think you’re so pretty.”

Tashi giggles and she can see the flush on his cheeks deepen, more pearls of precum leak from his tip. “Try to relax…think of it like a game of doubles. Im your partner. You can’t dominate the court… you have to hold it back a little. For me.” She says gently.

He nods. “Uh yeah okay. I can— i can hold it…”

Patrick curls his fingers into Arts hair. “Yeah hold it back sweetheart.”

Art shoves his hand away, a little shiver running through his body. God. 

Tashi feels impatient all of a sudden. She takes hold of Art again and licks at the excess dripping from his tip. 

“F-fuck,” Art stammers, his hands fly to her head, her ponytail snagging on his fancy watch. She pulls back teasing it out of her hair with a giggle. “Sorry fuck… im sorry.” Art whines.

“Its okay,” she says, she glances at Patrick’s shit eating grin as she smooths her hair back. Art takes his watch off and tosses it aside on her bed. “Its okay you’ll get used to it…” Tashi says, reassuringly.

“Who tastes better Tash?” Patrick asks.

“hm… good question…” she takes hold of both of their dicks making them moan, making them step closer to each other. She likes it… it feels like she has all this control. Maneuvering them like horny little marionettes. She fills her mouth with both. 

A chorus of moans and swears fill the room as she hums around them. Her mouth too full, eyes watering. Both of them with their hands in her hair. They each have a distinct scent, but mostly what she tastes on her tongue is salty, heated skin. She teases Patrick’s balls with her finger tips eliciting a sharp groan out of him. Feels the way, Patrick gently cradles her head. Feels the way Art starts moving, like he wants to thrust in and out but is trying to stop himself. She hears the wet sound of kissing and she presses her thighs together as she glances up to see them kissing each other. She fucking knew it. They’re as horny for each other as they are for her. 

“I dont— think— I don’t think—“ Art gasps, against Patrick’s mouth. Tashi pulls back then, both of them slipping out, hard and shiny. Art lets out a deep breath at the loss of contact and Patrick keeps one hand on her head and the other on Art’s. 

“Mm..I think I like both,” Tashi says, curling stray strands of hair behind her ears. Both boys are watching her with sex stupid dazed expressions, following her every movement. She slowly pulls her t-shirt and sweatshirt off so she’s only in her sports bra and short shorts. “You both wanna be inside me don’t you?” 

“Yes,” Art says, immediately. 

“Fuck yes,” Patrick says. 

She gets to her feet so she’s almost at eye level with them and that’s when she realizes she’s drunk or something like it. She wraps an arm around Patrick’s shoulder. “Mm I think I’m drunk.” 

“You’re just a little tipsy, sweetheart,” Patrick teases. “Light weight.”

She grins. “You can have my pussy this time, Pat-trick.” She separates the syllables cause words feel so slow and funny on her tongue. 

“God yes,” Patrick says, he presses a tentative kiss to her lips and she smiles and kisses him back. Before turning to Art. He’s so eager it’s like their lips smash together straight away, tongues and teeth and hunger. She feels so horny. She feels Patrick pull her hair back so he can kiss along her throat… Patrick’s fingers sliding beneath the waistband of her shorts, rubbing circles, teasing along her cunt through the fabric of her panties. “So wet for me,” he hums along her throat and Art starts feeling around too. His hand cupping at her bra, fingers tugging it down so he can play with her breasts, teasing her nipples between his fingertips.

It feels so good Tashi is overwhelmed with it. She can’t believe a little over 24 hours ago she’d been watching porn curled up in her bed, fingers racing between her legs while some stranger moaned about two boys fucking her like crazy. 

And now it’s real. They’re touching her all over, Art’s mouth on her breasts. Patrick’s hand around her waist, the other one in her panties. His thick fingers slipping in and out of her. She’s moaning, writhing against them, takes their mouths, pushes them together to watch them kiss on each other. 

“Mm you’re both so good at sharing,” Tashi sighs. 

“God… wanna fuck you now, Tash.” Patrick breathes. “Wanna fuck you so bad.” 

“Maybe you should ask nicely,” Tashi says.

“Please lemme fuck you, Tashi,” he groans. 

“Please, me too. I’ll do whatever you want me to.” Art breathes. “I won't come till you say.”

And really who is she to say no to that. She makes Patrick put on a condom. She's on the pill but she always has to be double, triple, quadruple sure. She got too horny one night and let him fuck her without it and ended up in her gynaecologist’s office begging for a test because she was one day late and so very neurotic about it. God forbid she lets a boy ruin her tennis career.

She crawls on the bed, tossing the pillows on the floor. Patrick is right behind her. She gestures Art over to join them and he quickly slots himself between her face and the headboard. She feels Patrick's fingers playing with her pussy again. So impatient. “Jesus your fucking dripping.” He moans and with that he’s easing himself inside her, she feels the thick heft of him and even though she’s used to how big he is by now theres still the delicious stretch through her walls as her body accommodates for him. 

She moans and Art shivers in front of her. He rubs his dick as she looks up at him through her lashes. 

“God. You’re so…. so beautiful,” he whispers.

She loves how irreverent he is even when she’s doing something filthy right in front of him. Like getting fucked. 

“You can put it in my mouth,” she grins and he nods. Hes so gentle with it, taking hold of himself and gently guiding his dick into her open mouth. She licks and moans around him while Patrick groans, fucking her like he can’t help himself. This is what she wanted, what she touched herself imagining. God maybe shes not a good girl. Maybe she’s a little bit of a slut. One drink and she wants to be fucked like a whore.  

She rocks her hips back and forth, both of them filling her over and over. Her ears ringing, pulse pounding. The room is full of their gasping and moaning. Vaguely she imagines that maybe her neighbors can hear and it just makes her feel even more aroused. And soon she’s fisting the sheets… Patrick pounding against her walls over and over along a spot that’s making her shiver and whine and her thighs feel weak. Her tummy coiling tighter and tighter as the tension builds. Her mouth is so full and wet, drool spilling from her lips. No more technique, just sloppy messy head.  Art white knuckling her headboard. His breathing shaky like he’s desperate.

“Fuck Tashi, fuck are you close?” Patrick moans. Tashi just hums, meeting his thrusts. She’s out of her mind… barely holding on….and then it happens. She thinks she blacks out for a second for the force of it. Coming so wet on Patricks dick. 

“Holy Fuck,” Patrick gasps. He starts rocking his hips faster chasing his own orgasm while her mouth fills suddenly with Arts come.

“Fuck im sorry im sorry, I couldn’t— i couldn’t stop,” he groans as she pulls back and lets it drip from her lips. Little spurts of come still jutting out of him. And that's when Patrick stills, moaning as he empties into the condom. 

“God that was so fucking hot.” He gasps. 

Oh, it's such a mess. Patrick sighs, relaxing as he slips out of her. Tashi had never seen how the double penetration clip ended. She'd finished by then, shut her laptop and fallen fast asleep. 

But in reality even though she's just as sleepy as she was after watching porn (probably more) she’s groggy sitting on the edge of the bed, feverishly warm looking around for her panties. Art tugging his shorts up, skin still pink he hurries to the bathroom to get a wash cloth to help her clean up.

They organize themselves somewhat quietly, all of them exhausted from such an intense athletic effort.  Her bed sheets are kind of a lost cause. “You gotta wash them tomorrow,” she informs them to which they both agree. God she thinks they’re so pussy drunk right now they'll say yes to anything.

Art says they can sneak downstairs to his room, he’s got a blow up mattress. “Just gotta be quiet in case my roommate is sleeping.”

“Next time we can do it in your room…when your roommate is out of town.” Tashi says softly as they make their way down the mostly empty dormitory halls.

“Yeah… yeah whenever you want,” Art says. 

“Oh fuck next time, really?” Patrick teases his fingers into her hair as they step on the elevator. He fidgets, twirling a strand of her ponytail around his fingers.

“Sure,” Tashi shrugs and waits a beat. “I mean don't you wanna fight over who gets to put it in my ass?”

The elevator dings and she steps out. Both boys frozen in place, staring at her, trying get their brains back online. Yeah it's fine, she’s okay with her life being a little bit not normal. She kinda loves it actually.

(okay so pornhub was founded in may 2007 guys… this is the research I do for you. Unfortunately I’m not sure on timeline of the film (Tashi’s injury) and im already in canon divergence so nothing matters but I just thought you should also know that useless fact.)

Can’t forget the most important part Taglist: @artstennisracket

[sexy-monster-fucker]

omgggg your writing is so good!!! Would you do Jesse Gemstone again? I'm dying for more of him x reader lol the visual of the season 4 mustache down THERE is doing something to ME

AHHHHHHH IVE BEEN WAITING FOR ANOTHER JESSE REQUEST!!— I need Danny McBride to stop getting hotter (also did anyone else notice the terrible spray tans everyone got this season??)

mustache!Jesse Gemstone x Reader

CW: infidelity, secret relationship, sorta forbidden love trope, oral f!receiving, soft degradation, p in v, creampie

a/n: technically spoilers for the newest episode??? this season has been so fun, does everyone agree Megan Mullally is gonna be the villain this time? just me? Okay.

~~~

You brushed through Kelvin Gemstone’s hair. Slick with gel to obtain the perfect fauhawk look. The room loud with Judy and Jesse’s southern twang screaming back and forth. Choosing to ignore the two pompous Gemstones to make sure you did not mess up Kelvin’s look. He was just nominated for 'Top Christ-Following Man of the Year' after all. His strange lover squatted by the side of the chair discussing something you halfway zoned out. Fixated on the hair atop his head.

“Jesus Christ, Jesse! You literally stole that look from Beej! He was rocking the stache then you swooped in and tried to grow your own little pube-stache!” Judy’s voice sounded like she was on the verge of crying. The argument continuing over from a few days prior. Tensions high now that their father’s newfound relationship had been revealed to them.

“Shut the fuck up, Judy! BJ wishes I was copying him. He’s just a punk-ass Gemstone wannabe,” Jesse snapped his fingers to end his sentence.

“How did you end up so… not like them?” you leaned down to whisper to Kelvin, smiling in the mirror at him.

“I’m the baby. So Mamma and Daddy got to screw up twice before hitting the lottery,” his eyebrows bounced as he joked with you, thumbs wiggling as they pointed towards himself. Hiding your shared giggles as to not interject into the argument roaring behind you.

You had known Kelvin since your childhood. Being a member of their church for as long as you can remember. Your father being one of the Deacons, allowing you to get closer to the Gemstones. Being closer in age to Kelvin than either of his older siblings. It helped you bond.

“BJ looks like a sad, washed-up seventies porn star! One of those ones that had to hand out his VHS’s to get anyone to watch ‘em,” Jesse exaggerated with his hands.

“Bitch, please— You’re talking about a possibly permanently disabled man! This isn’t some stupid joke, Jesse! There are more important things happening than your dumbass mid-life-crisis mustache!” Judy stomped her foot, hands balled up at her sides. Teeth gritted together as she sneered at her brother. Tears welling as she stormed out of the dressing room.

“Get your shit together before Sunday service,” Jesse shouted after his sister. Flattening out his collar in the mirror. Fluffing out his sideburns and mustache. Deep eyes looking at the reflection of your ass across the room. Pretending you did not notice as to save face.

It was scandalous. And completely wrong. But you and Jesse had been hooking up for years. Making sure to keep things as secretive as possible. The Gemstones could not afford another scandal.

And you made sure no one knew. Cringing at how Judy and Kelvin would react learning that you, someone they had grown up with, was fucking their older brother. Married, older brother. Which is why you kept your interactions limited. For the sake of your friendship, but also Jesse’s marriage. It’s not like you ever expected him to leave Amber. She would kill both of you before he even got the chance.

"Alright, Kelv. Is this to your liking?"

"It looks great as always, Brother Kelvin," Keefe smiled brightly admiring his boyfriend.

"Perfect, per usue, Y/N," Kelvin smiled up at you, placing his large framed glasses on his face. Standing and thanking you again. Walking out with his partner following him closely. Stopping to give Jesse a dirty look, "Have Y/N fix your hair, you look like someone just shook you up."

Jesse arched his lip and stuck his tongue out at Kelvin. Brother returning the gesture with an annoyed snort. You remained where you stood. Cleaning up the countertop ridden with stray hairs and product. Pretending the silence was not deafening. Trying your hardest to keep your eyes off him. Always awaiting his signal. He loved thinking he was in charge.

The click of the lock on the door made you smile. Stomach flipping at the sound of his fancy shoes clicking on the linoleum floor. Ring clad hands splaying across your stomach pulling your attention up. Smiling at the older Gemstone in the mirror. His face tucked against your shoulder. Newly grown mustache tickling the bit of skin exposed by the off-shoulder dress.

"You just gonna act like I ain't even here?" Jesse grinned, voice lower and sultry. Kissing gently along your neck, trying his hardest to get a reaction out of you. Biting your lip in an attempt to hide the smile that began to beam across your cheeks. One of your hands reaching into his curly locks behind you.

"Is it the 'stache?" Jesse joked, poking a finger in your side. Causing you to jump and your facade to falter. Giggling quietly as his hands turned you around to face him. His tongue glazing across his teeth as his eyebrows bounced. Cheeks pink as his eyes met yours. Fingers digging into your waist, holding you against his chest. Lips finding their place on yours. Familiar rhythm of your mouths, knowing how the other would kiss. Teeth clinking together causing a laugh to bubble up between you.

"It's definitely... different," you flattened a hand against his open collar, "Better than when you were dying your sideburns." You teased him as always. Causing a chiding laugh to come from him. Lips attaching themselves to your throat. Facial hair brushing your jugular. Sloppily kissing along your pulse, canines grazing your skin for a moment. A soft moan fell from you when one of his hands gripped your ass. Feeling Jesse smile at the sound.

"I could give you a mustache ride," Jesse's tone was laced with tease. So you laughed. Noticing how his brows furrowed at your response. Stopping when you realized, "Oh! You were serious."

"Duh," Jesse rolled his eyes.

You smacked his arm, "Don't get snippy with me, boy."

Jesse growled with a smile, lips back on yours as he pushed your body against the counter. Hands roaming every inch, desperately cupping and pinching every flab and mound. Almost like he was trying to see if anything had changed with you in the few weeks it had been since the two of you had been alone. Kissing into you harder than he normally did. Tongue parting your lips. Your hands cupped the sides of his face, manicured nails scratching his scalp.

Large hands helped you onto the counter. Spreading your legs so that he could stand between them. Your dress inching up your thighs. Cold marble helping cool the sensation at your core. Hungry lips ventured down your neck, kissing along your collar as he kneeled before you. Knees pressed into the shag rug on the hard floor. Tucking his face under your dress and gawking at your soaked panties.

“Fucking slut, aren’t you? I’ve barely even had my hands on you,” Jesse reprimanded, his way of dirty talking. You nodded, chills decorating your limbs when his hot breath fanned against your core. Thick digits spread fondly across your bare thighs. Massaging the meat, pushing your dress up so that he could look at you. Eyes dark with lust fluttered up at you.

Tenderly, he peeled your panties from your core. Exposing the place you needed him most. Jesse chuckled in satisfaction, pressing himself into you. Mustache tickling your throbbing clit as his tongue swiped along your slit. Your head fell back against the mirror, moaning his name.

“Goddammit, you always taste so good,” Jesse grunted feeling his cock harden under his dress pants. One of his thick fingers curled into your hole, causing your hips to rut forward. Whining as you laced your fingers in his curly locks. You would definitely have to fix his hair now.

Jesse’s finger prodded at the soft spot that had you closing in on a quick orgasm. With how his mouth sucked on your clit, and the overstimulation of his new lip broom you were sweating. Never realizing it could make such a difference in your experience. In love with the way it rubbed you perfectly.

Your hips rocked against his face. Chasing your orgasm at a rapid rate. He perfectly curled and pumped his finger inside you. Cold metal of his rings sending goose bumps down your skin. You cursed under your breath each time his tongue would circle your nub. Lapping into you, knowing your body. Knowing how close you were to gushing along his face. From the sound of the air tightening in your throat and how you had your head thrown back. Swallowing hard with forced shut eyes.

You looked so beautiful like this. Jesse always thought you did. Unable to pry his eyes off you anytime he would make you finish. Whether he be above or below you. Loving how soft you got, compared to your usual combative nature with him. Always making sure to seem like you were childhood ‘friends’ instead of fuck buddies. If you could even call yourself friends. Just being one of his younger brother’s stupid friends who always seemed to hang around. If he had known you were this good of a fuck, things would have been different. Not allowing you to slip through his fingers. Not having to settle for just this. As good as it was, he wanted you.

Those thoughts only angered him. Which was why he talked down to you during sex. Unable to stand the way his chest fluttered when you would smile at him. Or when your big eyes would doe up at him. How softly his name rolled off your tongue.

Like it did right now. Even while you were cumming on his tongue, his name was like heaven from you. Repeating it like a prayer over and over. Nails scratching his skin as you held onto him for support. Waves of ecstasy had you shivering. Thighs spasming as he continued sucking and fucking your hole. Ignoring the way his cock throbbed almost painfully.

Standing and smashing his lips into yours. Taste of yourself strong along his lip. Mustache glistening with each bit of arousal he had collected. Trying so hard to catch your breath with his mouth on yours. Chest thumping heavily as you gasped. Thin line of sweat forming along your brow.

“Pretty girl,” he complimented. Hands quickly freeing his throbbing member from its confines. Smacking upward, pubic hairs dancing along the base. Tip leaking and swollen, needing you. Feeling yourself drooling at the sight. Inviting him back between your legs. Sheathing himself into your welcoming entry.

Moaning in tandem. Pressing your mouths back together to hide any louder sounds escaping. Jesse allowed you to adjust before finding a fast rhythm. Hips snapping up into you. Pussy still sensitive from your previous orgasm. Voice cracking as you tried to say his name.

Skin smacking deliciously together filled the room. You gripped his girth perfectly. Jesse only having one other to compare you to, having a personal preference for you. Liking how you clinged to and praised him. No matter how far back he pulled, you were always happy to bring him back. A pleasant reminder of your relationship.

Jesse tucked his face into your neck, one hand firmly on your hip the other wrapped around your waist. Gutturally moaning into your skin as he approached his finish. Kissing your clavicle as he repeated your name. “I’m gonna cum, Y/N. Can you take it, baby? Let me fill you up real good,” Jesse breathlessly begged.

You nodded profusely. Arms draped over his neck as he repositioned to be pressing foreheads together. Noses resting on the others tip. Eyes awkwardly staring from this angle.

“Gonna be sitting through church with a reminder. Won’t let you forget how good I fuck you. My fucking cock sleeve,” Jesse heaved with his words.

“Yes, Jesse— please—“ you begged, feeling yourself approaching a secondary release. Knot tightly wound up. Overwhelmed with how full of him you were. Cock stretching the walls inside you so pleasurably. Convulsing along his member.

Coaxing him to his own finish. Thrusted and holding himself flush against you. Jerking with his rope of cum that shot inside you. Savoring the way your cunt milked each drop of his seed. Panting as you both rode out your finishes together. Your chin resting against his shoulder with your weight slumped into him. Heartbeat pulsing along your skin as you rested your eyes for a moment. Loving the musky smell of sex. Mixing perfectly with his expensive cologne.

Silently, you held each other. Nothing but heavy breathing being exchanged. Jesse’s hands spread along your back, looking at himself in the mirror. How perfectly your body fit against his chest. Analyzing the zipper on the back of your dress. Loving this color on you. Pulling back to kiss your lips again.

“Let me fix your hair,” you giggled. Hopping off the countertop. Instructing him to sit. Rummaging through one of the drawers finding his curling brush. Making sure his halfway pompadour would keep every bit of volume it had. Running it through his disheveled hair. All your doing.

Jesse pressed himself forward, planting a tender kiss on your hand. Trying his hardest to get a smile from you as you attempted to hide what had happened. Fluffing his locks with blushed cheeks. Jesse’s hand rested on your hip, absentmindedly thumbing circles into the flesh. Eyes admiring your face as you concentrated on his hair.

“I’ll have to clean off your,” you put a finger across your top lip, “little friend too.”

Jesse smiled. Cheeks bulbing at your joke. Having a million things he wanted to say, opting for silence. Watching you walk over to the sink and wet a towel. Coming back to dab the soapy cloth along his lip. Stretching his mouth down so you did not accidentally get any in his mouth. Lovingly, you combed through the hairs on his upper lip. Restoring him to his former glory.

“Voila!” you held your arms up at your sides, “All ready for the big screen now, stud.” Earning yourself a smile from him. Quick to stand and press his lips to yours again, hands cupping the sides of your face. Your own hand joining one of his, leaning into his touch with a smile. Enjoying the moment of intimacy. Knowing it was fleeting.

“Are you coming to service?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Fuck no!”

“Then it’s settled,” you shrugged. Laughing at his dramatic and over the top nature. Watching him check himself out in the mirror one more time. Blowing himself a kiss, just in the hopes of hearing your switch laughter once more. One of his favorite parts of you.

“There’s a trip coming up. And I’ll need my personal stylist with me,” Jesse said off-handed trying his hardest to not sound desperate.

“Of course, Mr. Gemstone,” you teased, swiping off his shoulders. Looking at his eyes in the mirror. His hand coming up to hold yours against his shoulder. Imagining a life where he did not have to hide you. One where you could have been the mother to all three of his boys. Where you shared a bed every night. One where he did not have to cheat on his wife…

But that’s not how things worked out.

And he was happy to have you anyway he could.

~~~

[END]

// Thank you so much for reading! I still cannot believe this is going to be the final season of the Righteous Gemstones, I’m so heartbroken. I am so happy to still be receiving requests for Jesse, seems like the girlies are in his court this time around. As always, Comments and Reblogs are appreciated. If you want to be tagged, or have a request feel free to message me! I love hearing from you guys <3 //

{tags}

@dannymcbridelover ~ @megangovier ~ @ringa-starr ~ @pushingdaisies1 ~

[bombuni]

hi babi !!! js wna say I love ur user ++ ur writing sm :3 was thinking if maybe u can do anything related to stoner bf San if that's okay?? like maybe him being vv needy while high idk. no rush, xoxo!

contains: sub!san x gn!reader, drug usage obv, bj’s, very soft tbh

minors dni

San’s touchy.

He’s just like that as a person, you’ve come to realize. His hand is always around your shoulders or waist, fingers finding their home in the crook of you neck. You let him, seeing as that’s how he shows his love with everyone. It’s just-sometimes he gets too touchy. Like, he’d breathe for you if he could.

It’s especially bad when he gets high. Once the smoke fills the room, he’s babbling on about the spots on your face and the shape of your cupids bow, waxing poetry about how your touch makes him feel. You’re not complaining at all. It’s only bothersome when he does it during his downtime and you’re busy. Today is not one of those times.

“Baby.”

You hum in acknowledgement, eyes glazed as you mindlessly watch whatever San had decided to put on in the background. You can feel his hot breath fanning onto your neck, the heat of the room and his body filling up your insides.

It’s clear San’s already gone, his low tolerance making him an easy target every time you two smoke together.

“Are you done with work?”

He’s cute when he’s mindless. You turn to look at him with a lovesick smile on your face, “Yes, Sannie. I am.”

San blushes, full-on like a tomato, when you look at him. He giggles like you’ve told the funniest joke, hiding his face in his hands as he scoots away from you like some embarrassed kid out with his first girlfriend.

“You can’t-you can’t just look at me like that,” he still giggles as he speaks, peeking his eyes from behind his hands.

You know San-you know that even though he backs away from you every inch closer you get to him, his itch to touch you only grows. He just gets an extra layer of shyness when he’s high, but it’s easy for you to break through it.

“How am I looking at you?”

He freezes when your hands easily spread his thighs apart, giving you complete freedom to sit between his legs. You’re some sort of Medusa to him, turning him rock hard just with your eyes. He feels his breathing grow heavy when one of your hands traces patterns on his knee; a hot, tingly buzzing sensation following your touch. It makes him fold for you immediately.

He watches you with half lidded eyes, “Like you’re gonna eat me. Are you gonna eat me?”

You chuckle at that, “Wish I could. Then I could keep you forever,”

He takes that tiny comment seriously. Like the mere idea of being apart from you steals the air from his lungs, “I am yours forever.”

Your smile down at him makes his heart grow with love, he feels it every time he’s with you. When he gets like this he truly believes you keep him alive just by looking at him. Your touch is just a nice bonus.

He holds your wrist gently, “Can I show you? That I’m yours forever?”

“No,” you gently take his bigger hand off of you, “I’ll show you.”

San’s not exactly sure what you mean, but he lets you do whatever. He watches as you gently take his sweatpants off, cooing niceties that make a whine build in the back of his throat when he lifts his hips up for you.

You toss his pants to the side, dragging warm fingers up over his thighs tantalizingly slowly until they reach his bulge. He’s hard already, and he’s on the verge of tears at the feeling of you palming him. The way you roll his big cock against the fabric of his underwear makes him slowly go insane, hips bucking every so often when you squeeze his cock. Precum stains his boxers now, but he doesn’t care. No, it just shows how much he belongs to you.

He can’t support the weight of his thoughts anymore. He lets himself tilt back, head banging against the arm of the couch. San lets out a surprised whine when he feels your wet mouth against his neck. He flinches, before succumbing to the ticklish feeling. You’ll leave your mark on him and he’ll be proud to show it off.

San is overly sensitive. The feeling of your sweet lips and loving hand is already too much for him. He’s keening and moaning like a slut, letting himself feel every little detail because he trusts you. Just knowing it’s you makes it all the more hotter.

“My sweet boy-“ a kiss and a moan, “do you want more?”

His head raises so fast you’ll scare it’ll fall off, “Yes, please.”

He sounds like he’s about to cry and, god, does it make you throb. You pull his cock free from his boxers, as it aches and begs for you. It’s so pretty and wet, soaked in precum and San with his panting, flushed face is the perfect picture of desperation.

His hips buck to find friction, “Can I put it in your mouth, please? I’ll be good, just-please, can you touch me?”

You cut off his desperate pleading by stroking him once. Immediately, he’s putty in your hands. His entire body relaxes against the couch, letting you control him and letting you decide what to do about his needs. All he knows is that it’s you who’s touching him, and that’s all he needs.

The lewd sounds coming from his wet cock fill the room, making him even more light-headed. Everything he’s feeling makes him think he’s in a dream, and when your mouth sucks on his tip like a lollipop, it just makes him hit cloud nine.

His hands fly to the back of your head as you take all of him in, every inch that fills your mouth slowly sending him deeper into a frenzy.

He groans, “‘S so good, baby, I love you, thank you for taking my cock-“

You bob up and down, letting San buck his hips while his mouth shoots off whatever his 2 functioning braincells can think of. Most of it is just ‘I love you’s.’

He gasps as you take him to the back of your throat, the feeling of you gagging on him burning his insides with desire. He fucks your mouth-once, twice- before he shoots his cum down your throat.

“Fuck-I fucking love you-“ he says as he holds you still, making you take what you caused. In his mind, it’s his reward, getting to prove to you just how good you make him feel. How you’re the only one for him, and he’s the only for you.

He pants below you, face flushed and sweaty, as you let him go with a pop, “‘M so sleepy. Can you cuddle me?”

You tuck him back into his boxers before letting yourself plop onto him and wrapping your arms around him. Who can say no to San?

bom note: i think his extreme romantic needy side would come out when he’s inebriated at all. like he’s truly a lover boy at heart. also excuse my lack of knowledge on weed or if this feels ‘inaccurate’ as i literally only take edibles once in a blue moon

[masonmontz]

hello hello 🫶🏻

REMEMBER: english is not my first language

+18 smut - bj, the two of them tying each other up, dirty talk, pet name, a little bit of sub!mase word count: 3,7k

NOTES: this is not about their romance, there’s no romance in fact, i tried to write something different and i hope you like it 🤗(maybe I SAID MAYBE will be the part 2 or more bc it's an open ending) - don't wait for fluffy

✦‎۟ ࣭ ⊹

Mason tried but he couldn't take his eyes off you since you walked into that club.

The tight white dress really caught his attention, as did the high heels with the red soles. The red lipstick made Mason want to smudge it all over your mouth with a kiss.

And you noticed him too ‘cause Mason saw you look at him and smiled, taking a sip of your drink as you stared at him. It wasn't a normal club, the girls dancing on stage all night had only one goal, as did the men who danced shirtless and in suspenders.

Mason wasn't interested in any strippers, in fact he didn't come with that objective, he just decided to accompany the guys for a fun night. He just didn't expect to find something so interesting in a white dress and red lipstick.

And the best part is that you noticed him too.

You looked over your shoulder and walked to the bar, taking one last look at Mason before turning away. He didn't think twice before following you, ignoring his friends calling out to him.

You had your back to him and a dancer tried to stop Mason, but he just ignored her and kept walking towards you. Mason stood right behind you and you smiled because you knew he was going to follow you, and you turned in the seat to face him.

“Well, I thought it would take longer” you said and Mason smiled, shivering with your voice. He was mesmerized, Mason had never seen someone so beautiful. “Did you like what you saw?”

“I'm just thinking how much I like that red lipstick on your lips” he murmured and not even the loud music stopped you from understanding. “I’m Mason, nice to meet you.”

“I’m Y/n” you said and turned to order a drink, but Mason offered his glass to you. “What are you drinking?”

“Whiskey” he shrugged and you took a sip. Mason found the lipstick mark on the cup incredibly sexy.

“So Mason, what do you want?” you asked and Mason almost widened his eyes at you being so direct, but it was better this way than pretending you weren't interested.

“I- what?” he asked confused. “Well, it doesn’t matter if you don’t tell me what you want.”

“I wanna have sex with you and never see you again.”

Mason felt used, but maybe that's just what he does to some women. Mason prayed it was bad and he wouldn't have to see you anymore, because it would be a shame not to see such a pretty face again.

“Fine by me” he said even though it wasn't what he wanted to say to you. Mason would die to feel those lips just once.

Mason would be embarrassed to admit he was horny in the middle of a nightclub over a woman he hadn't even touched yet, but those eyes felt like they were fucking Mason every time you looked at his body. It had been a long time since he felt such a strong desire to have sex with a woman.

“Do you want to go to your house?” he asked, but you quickly shook your head and pointed at him. “Mine then.”

Mason didn't even bother to say goodbye to the guys before grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the club, not before paying your bill and his. You didn't say anything on the way, you just sent a message to the girls letting them know you had left.

Mason was even sexier driving and you wanted to give him a blowjob right there, but it was better to wait until you got to a safe place.

You took his hand that was resting on the backrest and brought it to your leg, Mason smiled mischievously as he squeezed the soft skin.

“You can touch me if you want” you murmured and brought your hand to his thigh, caressing it lightly and looking at him, who alternated his gaze between the road and you. “Don’t be afraid.”

“You’re the devil trying to kill me” you smiled and brought your hand to his crotch, caressing it over the fabric of his beige pants. Mason was hard and you noticed it as soon as you left the club, and you really wanted to touch him since you saw him for the first time that night.

Mason brought his hands to the hem of your dress and looked at you, who just nodded and allowed him to bring his hand to your pussy.

You sighed as he pressed a finger against your clit, and you tried to massage his cock through the fabric, but his finger inside you felt so much better and you couldn't concentrate. You spread your legs and prayed that no cars would pass by, because anyone would see Mason with his fingers stuck in your wet pussy.

You moaned and bit your lips, you took your hand off Mason's dick and held his hand that was on your clit, you pulled your white dress up and Mason could see your red panties that covered nothing.

Mason hated himself ‘cause he still had to pay attention to the road when all he wanted to do was stop the car and cum in your hot pussy. He pulled the small fabric of your panties to the side and you brought his finger to your entrance, making Mason feel how much you were dripping for him. He moaned when he felt the wetness and heat there.

“I’m gonna stop the car” he murmured but you nodded.

“No, someone can see us” You reached your hand down to Mason's pants again and unzipped him, putting your hand inside his pants and feeling his damp underwear. “You’re so big.”

He smiled and shrugged, and your right hand was on his cock and with your left hand you took Mason's fingers inside you, spreading your legs even wider as he penetrated you with two fingers.

You could barely masturbate Mason because you wanted him to thrust his fingers even faster inside you, but he still had to drive.

“Yeah this is so good” you moaned and tried to move up and down his cock, feeling Mason hard as cement. You're almost drooling as you imagine his cock dripping wet to fuck you, hard and veiny.

“You’re so wet” he mumbled and Mason stopped at a traffic light, and when he saw there were no cars around he leaned in and kissed you, finally smudging the lipstick like he wanted.

You moaned as Mason sped up the movements of his fingers, and if he was already good with his fingers, you couldn't wait to see the rest.

A horn took you out of the bubble and Mason sped up the car, wanting to get home as quickly as possible. Mason had moved away from you to drive and you decided to tease him.

You stuck your own fingers in your pussy and pulled them out, bringing them to his lips. Mason didn't think twice before sucking both fingers, licking and tasting the moisture there.

“Good boy” you whispered, and then you lowered the neckline of your dress so Mason could see your breasts, and he moaned when he saw your hard nipples waiting for his mouth. “This is all for you tonight.”

“Please, just masturbate me all the way home” he begged, but you laughed and nodded. You took his hand again and ran his finger over your nipple, and Mason spread you open with his fingertips. “I need to fuck you so bad.”

“How long to your house?” you asked.

“We’re arriving.”

You let go of Mason's hand and pulled on your dress, adjusting your clothes and reaching down to Mason's pants to button them up again.

Of course you rubbed his dick on purpose.

It didn't take long for Mason to stop in front of a large house, and you admired the building because it really is very beautiful.

Mason parked the car and you grabbed your bag and got out, and he quickly showed you the entrance to the house while purposefully rubbing his erection against your ass.

If he pinned you against the wall and fucked you there you wouldn't mind. Or maybe you'd ask him to fuck you on top of that Lamborghini.

You want to control him.

Mason took you to his room and you rolled your eyes when you saw how luxurious the room was, you knew he was a football player and earned millions, but they like to show off.

“All this luxury makes me horny” you mumbled and laughed, Mason smiled and you pulled him against you, kissing him once more.

You knew that the first time he kissed you in the car your lipstick had smudged, and when you walked into the house and Mason turned on the lights you saw his lips smudged with lipstick too. It was so sexy you could cum just imagining him with his lipstick smeared on your pussy.

“That's not very nice, I wanted to make you horny” Mason said and pushed you against the bed, making you fall on your back as he climbed up without letting his weight fall on you.

Mason took off his shirt before leaning down and kissing your lips hard, and you sighed at his tongue against yours.

“Do you have a tie?” you asked as he pulled away to pull up your dress and place his mouth on your nipple, and Mason raised his eyebrow at the request.

“Why? Do you want to be tied up?” you smiled mischievously and scratched his chest with your long nails, and Mason dodged because he shivered at the same time his skin burned.

“No, I want to tie you up” You took advantage of Mason being distracted and turned over in bed, placing him underneath you.

“You can choose the color of the tie” Mason murmured and he felt his cock throb at the thought of being tied up. He had never experienced that before and, well, it would be interesting.

Mason walked to the closet and you followed him, he opened a drawer with a tie and you took a black one. Luckily, he also had a chair in the closet and you grabbed it before leaving. Mason followed you.

You placed the chair in the middle of the room and took off your dress, leaving only your panties and hills for Mason. Mason took off his shirt and when he reached for the button on his pants you went over to him and stopped him.

“You won't take it off now” it was an order and Mason knew it. He obeyed. “Sit there.”

Mason sat in the chair and held out his hands for you to tie, but you smiled and followed him, pulling his arms behind your back.

“You’re not gonna touch me”

“Not fair.”

“It's fair, yeah” you tightened the knot and Mason's hands were trapped behind his back. You turned around and sat on his lap, pulling him in for a kiss. You were sitting on his dick and you could feel how hard he was. “Be a good boy for me.”

Mason closed his eyes and moaned, enjoying being dominated. Mason had never tried anything like it and he noticed that he liked it.

You stood up and Mason opened his eyes, watching you stop in front of him and pull your panties down, leaving you with only your Louboutin heels.

Mason licked his eyes as he saw the pussy in front of him. You lifted one of your legs and rested it on Mason's thigh, and he could clearly see the shine from the wetness there.

“You liked the view?” you asked and Mason agreed, so you smiled and sat in his lap. You grabbed his hair, making Mason look at you. You brought your hand to his chest and scratched, pulling your nail hard from his chest to his pecs, leaving marks.

You got off Mason's lap and knelt in front of him, watching Mason bite his lip as you looked up like the devil. You smiled and Mason knew that smile was capable of killing someone. A man.

You brought your hands to the waistband of his pants, lightly running your hand over the bulge appearing there. Mason sighed. You smiled. You opened the button and zipper, and Mason lifted his hips so you could pull his pants down, leaving him in just his underwear. You brought your lips to the fabric, leaving a light kiss on top that made Mason shiver. He tried to pull his arm away but it was in vain, because he was tied up.

A smile crossed your lips as Mason threw his head back, and you pulled down his underwear to watch his cock spring out of the fabric and rest hard against his abdomen. Mason shivered as you stared at his cock like it was a lollipop, you looked up only to find Mason's eyes desperate to feel your mouth around the length of his cock.

“What do you want?” you asked quietly, holding his cock with one hand and making light movements up and down, feeling it throb between your fingers. “How do you like it? Hard?”

Mason whimpered as you placed your palm on top of his cock, making circular motions as he squirmed in his chair, unable to get out.

“Please, put it in your mouth” he said in a whisper, throwing his head back as he felt the movements of her hand making strong movements around his cock. “Harder, please.”

As you made strong movements with your hand up and down you brought your lips to Mason's balls, he was so hard it looked like Mason was going to explode. You looked up once more and slid your tongue along his entire length as Mason stared at you, you brought a hand to his chest and scratched, seeing the marks you had already left there.

“Please, please…” he moaned when you finally put it all in your mouth, sucking Mason hard while what didn't fit in your mouth you masturbated with your hand. Mason was big and thick, and you couldn't wait to have that whole cock inside you. “I wanna touch you.”

“No” you held Mason sitting with one hand on his abdomen, licking his cock again afterwards. He was so beautiful that you could spend hours licking and sucking, without worrying about anything else. “You want to fuck my mouth?”

“Hell, yeah…” a hoarse moan left his throat and you felt your entire body tremble. Mason didn't seem to be thinking clearly with you making quick movements with your soft lips around his cock.

“Do it” you rested your hands on his thigh as Mason tried to lift his hips to fuck your mouth, and even tied up he had speed and you just looked up as Mason fucked your mouth like you wanted. “Oh my god I’m gonna cum.”

And that's when you stopped, taking his dick out of your mouth and getting up from the floor, hearing Mason complain. You walked and stopped behind him, bringing your lips to his neck and running your hands down his abdomen, reaching his hard cock and making calm movements, making Mason writhe in agony because all he wanted was to release himself.

“I wish you would suck me but I'd rather you fuck me” you whispered in his ear and Mason felt his whole body shiver with your voice, so you released the knot of his tie and Mason stood up quickly, pulling you into a hot kiss.

You wrapped your arms around his neck and moaned when you felt your nipples brush against his warm chest, and Mason walked over to pull you to the bed, but you stopped and held out the tie to him, lifting your arms. Mason's eyes lit up when he understood what you wanted.

“Tie me up” you said, and you almost smiled when you saw Mason’s smile. He tied you up quickly, but Mason glanced at the bed before you laid down.

“I'm going to tie your arms to the headboard” you agreed, and then you climbed onto the bed and crawled over there in your heels, sticking your ass out for Mason to look at.

“Oh Lord” he groaned as you turned over in bed and spread your legs with your arms up. He walked over to your side and tied your arms to the wooden headboard, and Mason quickly took off the underwear he was still wearing.

Mason opened a drawer next to you and took out a condom, and you bit your lip as you watched him put it on and climb into bed next. He held your legs around his hips and you wiggled, wanting him to penetrate you right away, but Mason smiled.

“Maybe it's my time to tease you” he murmured and rubbed the tip of his cock at your entrance, making you moan as he pulled out and did it again, teasing you without penetrating.

“Don’t you dare” you said angrily, but before you could say anything again Mason penetrated you all at once, making you moan loudly as he filled you completely. “Oh- this is so good.”

“Can I move?” you almost melted at the question, because even though Mason was so sexy, he was still concerned and kind.

“Yeah” Mason barely waited for you to respond before he started moving fast, and you rolled your eyes, unable to keep them open for long as Mason fucked you hard. “Yes… yes.”

“You’re so hot, this is so good” he groaned and you regretted the idea of ​​tying you up because all you wanted to do was scratch his back until you left marks that would last for a week.

“Don’t stop” you begged, you had been horny for hours and it wouldn't be long before you came, just like Mason.

It was only a few minutes of Mason fucking you until you felt your body tingle, and you tried to pull your hands from your tie to grab something, but Mason laughed at your desperation and lowered his head to bite your nipple, making you scream as you came around his cock, feeling your pussy throb against him.

Mason pulled his tie and released you, and you quickly brought your hand to your tits, seeking another release as your orgasm exploded inside you.

You moaned his name a few times and Mason held your legs, fucking you wildly and all you could hear was the sound of his skin slapping against yours, and it didn't take long for Mason to cum and throw his head back as he spurted inside you.

Mason's cock was throbbing inside you, and you were so sensitive you could cry, but you pulled Mason's hand from your thigh to your clit, and Mason raised his eyebrows in confusion, because you came ten seconds ago.

“Trust me” you said, and then made circular motions with Mason's fingers on your sensitive clit, and you moaned loudly once more as you came for the second time in less than ten seconds. Mason moaned softly as your pussy squeezed his cock again, and you closed your eyes and relaxed against the soft pillows of his bed.

Mason pulled out of you and now you felt only emptiness as you tried to control your rapid breathing. A few seconds later Mason threw himself down next to you, and when you opened your eyes you saw him staring at the ceiling.

“I didn't know that was possible”

“What?”

“Making a woman cum twice in a row.”

“Then you have a lot to learn about women, my dear.”

Mason let out a low laugh and looked at you, and you just smiled at him but closed your eyes.

“Will you sleep here with me?”

“Not even in your dreams” you murmured. “I need to go home, my fiancé is waiting for me.”

Mason would have laughed at the joke if he hadn't noticed the serious tone in his voice.

“Your what?” he asked with his heart racing. What the fuck?

“My fiancé” you shrugged and Mason really thought you were psychopathic or sadistic at that moment.

“You’re kidding” he said, sitting on the bed.

“If he thinks he can cheat on me, I can cheat on him too. I'm not cheating, I'm taking revenge.”

Oh my God. Mason is dizzy.

“So you used me? Just like that?” he asked indignantly.

“No, I really wanted to have sex with you and it was great.”

“Y/n you’re crazy” he said and threw himself on the bed again, trying to relax and hoping that no man would show up at his house tomorrow to punch him.

“Sorry but I need to go” you said and pulled Mason, and he accepted and gave you one last kiss before you got out of bed to look for your clothes. God, you hadn't even taken off your heels.

“I'll take you home, you can't go alone at this time.”

“I don't want you to take me home, I don't mind going alone.”

“You sure?”

“Just sex and we won't see each other again, remember?”

“Yes, sure.”

Mason didn't know if he was more frustrated that you used him to get back at your fiancé or that he never wanted to see him again because he really wouldn't mind having sex with you again.

He was naked in bed as he watched the most beautiful woman he had ever seen put her clothes back on and act like she had never seen him. It seems the tables have turned for him, and not in a good way.

“Thank you for this night and I’m sorry about this” you said and walked closer, giving Mason one last kiss and not accepting when he offered to go down with you to wait for a taxi. “Don't tie other women up, it's not cool.”

“Yeah right, I can't do this anymore because I'll remember you” Mason rolled his eyes but smiled at you.

“At least I know I'm unforgettable. Bye Mason.”

[saturnsag3]

can you do more of Mack pulling pranks on Will??

Wait— How Much???? - will smith x macklin celebrini

summary: mack pranks will saying he paid a crazy amount of money to get his tires filled

wc: 573

Macklin

hey i forgot to tell u

my tire pressure light came on today

so i stopped at a tire outlet place

they gave me a really good deal

Will

what do you mean a good deal

what did you do

Macklin

they put air in my tires

and checked the pressure and stuff

it was actually really cheap

Will

bby what do u mean cheap

Macklin

it was only like $160 compared to the other prices they told me

Will

what??!???

Macklin

don’t yell at me i was just trying to be responsible

u always say i’m bad at car stuff :(

Will

macklin 

baby

they charged you $160 for air??

which shop was this again i’m abt to beat someone’s ass 

Macklin

well they said it was premium air

like extra clean or something

and they rotated the air inside the tires or whatever idk i’m not a car guy like u are

Will

rotated the air???????

what does that even mean?

Macklin

idk babe 

stop with the interrogation i’m not a tire scientist

they said it would help my car drive smoother

Will

mack

you got scammed baby

that’s not a thing

air is supposed to be free at most gas stations

Macklin

well it was a fancy tire place

they had a lounge with free coffee

and a fish tank

Will

they distracted you with a fish tank while they charged you 160 bucks for air??

Macklin

don’t be mean i was just trying to take care of my car

it’s fine babe don’t worry about it

it’s premium air now i’m fancy lolololol

Will

jfc i’m losing my mind

send me the receipt babe

Macklin

why?

Will

mack

send the receipt

Macklin

well now i don’t want to 

u sound mad 

Will

send

now

Macklin

ok fine babe breathe

i’m kidding omg ur so easy to mess with

i went to wawa and did it for free

ur such a drama queen 😛

Will

i’m going to kill you

Macklin

u love me :)

Will

i’m blocking you

Macklin

no ur not

bc i just bought us snacks with the $160 i DIDN’T spend

see i’m still a responsible bf

Will

that $160 is from my wallet 

and who spends $160 on gas station snacks 

Macklin

ur getting food either way stop complaining 

Will

you spent my money

on snacks

after pretending to get scammed for air??

Macklin

u love when i spend ur money

and technically i didn’t lie

i could’ve gotten scammed

but i chose the high road

aka free wawa air and snacks on your tab

Will

what did you even buy

Macklin

a little of everything :)

cheez-its, sour patch kids, 3 kinds of chips, gatorade, donuts

and one of those mystery meat sticks you hate bc it “concerns” you

Will

it does concern me

it’s radioactive

Macklin

i’m loyal

anyway i’m like 7 mins away

prepare to be fed and forgiven

Will

you think food is going to save you?

Macklin

i think food

and my face

and a forgive me bj 

will absolutely save me

Will

…

ok 

okay yes maybe

wait actually 

Macklin

ur desperate asf 

i will

AFTER my snacks tho

Will

thank u baby 

ilysm 

ur forgiven 

i love u 

Macklin

ur so easy 

i love u too

abt to pull up

Will

doors unlocked

sages thoughts⋆˙⟡: mack bimbo supremacy lowk, i love writing these little pranks so send more requests and i hope u liked<3

[debilsposts]

🦇 My JayTim Fic Masterlist 🦇 

Hello, I’m Tori, and I write fics so bad they should be considered a crime. Unfortunately, I just keep writing them because no one has yet told me to stop. You can find my AO3 here, proceed with caution. 🪫 Currently suffering from an extreme case of writer’s block. If you have demands, now’s the time to yell them at me before I turn to dust. Full list below the cut 👇

✨ SFW ✨

looking most human (feeling nothing like it) – Android AU, Slowburn, Android Abuse, Hurt/Mild Comfort | WIP, 2,366 words (1/?) Android Tim is, for some reason, obsessed with a dead boy named Jason.

teach me a kinder way to say your name – Soulmate AU, Getting Together | Completed, 6,131 words A terrible sleepless night. A perfectly soft morning after.

listen to the sound of you blinking – Gotham Knights AU, Supernatural Vibes, Hurt/Mild Comfort, Open Ending | Completed, 6,252 words Jason keeps popping up in Tim’s room, drawn by something he doesn’t quite understand, something quiet, something safe.

yearning (to keep you warm) – Tim is Bad at Self-Care, Biting, Literal Sleeping Together, Implied Sexual Content | Completed, 4,265 words Jason babysits Tim.

where you land – Fluff, Accidental Kissing, First Dates | Completed, 3,354 words Tim starts to realize that falling isn’t so bad when he knows Jason is there to catch him.

a gift, preserved – Crack Fic, Tim Gets His Spleen Back | Completed, 2,361 words Jason asked a teenager boy for dating advice. It went great.

🚨 NSFW 🚨

it's snowing like it’s the end of the world – Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Case Fic | WIP, 19,664 words (6/?) Tim goes missing. Jason has feelings about it.

red lips, white lace – PWP, Feminization Kink, Tim in a Skirt | Completed, 11,122 words Jason does Tim’s makeup. He can't wait until he can ruin it, too.

a quiet place to sleep – Hurt/Mild Comfort, Depression, Blood and Injury, Smut | Completed, 17,789 words After a nearly fatal injury, Tim is forced to reconnect with his family. He expects the worst, but it’s surprising how fast things can change for the better. Healing and romance ensue.

bruises fade, feelings stay (I just want to be your boyfriend) – Friends with Benefits, Mutual Pining, 4+1 Things, Misunderstandings | Completed, 12,681 words Four times Jason tries to show Tim how he feels + one time it actually works out.

unfinished verses – Fluff and Smut, BJs, Pride and Prejudice is Ruined Forever for Jason | Completed, 7,213 words “Did you seriously just compare Pride and Prejudice to our toilet roll debate? Are you listening to yourself?”

[baronessvonglitter]

Maneater: Chapter 1

Max Lord x OFC | WC: 2,372

Summary: Dreading a dinner with his fiancée, Max meets her daughter and decides it might be worth it to stick around.

WARNINGS: 18+Only! Mature. Engagement of convenience. Age difference (Max is 35, Linda is 65, Nina is 22). Male gaze. Mention of a bj. Mention of sex toys. One (1) innocent(?) lick - makes sense in context. Hard-on AND blue balls. Fantasizing. Crude sexual hand gesture. Max is not a dad here (sorry not sorry).

A/n: The love I've seen for our Maxi-Muffin has been few and far between. I want to give a great big thank you to @everybodylovedcontractors who is probably the biggest Max Lord girlie I know 💟and who was my cheerleader and inspiration while writing this. Plus I just wanted to delve deep into the 1980s.. one of my favorite decades. I set this story in Miami because I feel like it's the city with the most 80s vibes that I envisioned for this story. Also yes, each chapter is a lyric from Hall & Oates' "Maneater" - one of the best songs from the decade. Also-also, Linda is 65 years old.. which isn't all that old by today's standards, but in the 80s, 65 might as well have been 100.

While I'm curating the playlist for this series, I know some music may not technically be out at the exact time of this story, so I'm just playing with the timeline a bit, it's all just for funzies anyway 😊

Series Masterlist

"Mr. Lord, you have a call on line one," Raquel's voice chirps over the intercom.

"Who is it?" Max asks, hope coloring his voice. The office is too huge, too quiet. He envisions a whole bullpen full of desks, phones ringing off the hook and employees.. his employees, eagerly answering those calls, making successful sales, generating cash flow, making him money.

"It's your fiancée, Linda St. James," Raquel replies. "It sounds urgent."

"Great," he mutters, dreading this call. He dreads all her calls. He lets out a long-suffering sigh. "Put her through."

"Does my Maxi-Muffin miss me?" Linda's sickly sweet voice comes over the line. At sixty-five years old she's one of the richest widows in the country, a real estate tycoon and almost twice Max's age. "I wanted to tell you I'm still in Dallas, but my flight should arrive just in time for us to have dinner at mine tonight."

"Oh Linda my dear, I am positively quivering with anticipation of seeing you again," Max lies through his teeth, lining up a shot on his desktop mini pool table.

Linda continues. "I was thinking.. over dinner we could talk about that business loan I want to give you," she says in a sing-song voice.

Damn, the woman knows how to dangle a carrot. And I'm just her pet, her toy, something to show off to her friends.

"Nothing would make me happier than to enjoy a fine dinner with the most.. with such a.. with my lovely bride-to-be," he manages to choke out. Ass kissing comes with the territory of business and finance, but his lack of attraction to his fiancée somehow keeps him from exaggerated compliments. "But if my dear Linda wants to discuss financing my future, then I won't stop her."

"You know I love nothing more than to help you," her voice drips with sickly sweetness. "See you tonight at the mansion, honey muffin." She makes kissing sounds over the phone before she hangs up.

Max hangs up with a groan of disgust.

That evening he's in the backseat of his town car, smoothing through the post-rush hour traffic. He checks his hair in the mirror, turning up the radio as the new Hall & Oates cassette plays in the sound system.

"A she-cat tamed by the purr of a Jaguar," he sings along to himself as the car finally stops in the circular driveway of Linda's mansion, all lit up against the lavender and orange of the impending night. It's early summer and already it's sweltering, the dipping of the sun doing little to cool him down. Music from a boombox can be heard faintly, along with shouts and splashes from what he guesses are coming from Linda's Olympic-size pool in the back. With a sigh Max presses the intercom button at the front door and waits for Linda to buzz him in.

The machine quickly crackles back and a young woman's voice is heard: "Be right there!"

Several minutes later the door is opened by a stunning woman in a red bikini and espadrilles, toweling off her long black hair, a pair of red Wayfarers perched on her head. "You're not the pizza guy," she says with a slight pout.

Max forces his eyes from her lithe, bronzed body, still dewy with pool water, and meets her gaze, but it's there he's trapped by the upward, feline tilt of her velvet brown eyes. "No, actually I'm here to see Linda.. is she home?"

"Her flight got delayed. She won't be here until after midnight." The young woman shrugs, seemingly posing in the doorway, body nearly on full display and from the looks of it she's enjoying his attention. "And who are you?" she asks, tilting her head at him.

He doesn't know whether to be relieved or to dread a future meeting with his bride. "I'm Maxwell Lord, Linda's future spouse," he introduces himself, laying on the charm with his megawatt smile. "I have a scheduled dinner meeting with her tonight."

She takes his proffered hand, her eyes lighting up with mirth. "Oh? You're having a scheduled dinner meeting with your future spouse? Sounds romantic." She giggles and takes a drag off the cigarette she's holding. "Come in. She'd be pissed at me if I slammed the door on my future stepdad." She smiles, her teeth showing off an attractive gleam. "I'm her daughter Nina."

Max is captivated by her full lips, which look like they'd be fun to kiss.

Though he's been here a handful of times already, Nina leads him through the house, Nina saunters with an ease, a grace, and even a particular carelessness, as if she'd rather bump into and topple over a priceless vase than to steer clear of it. "You can stick around if you want," she says over her shoulder. "I didn't know Linda was expecting company, so I invited a few friends over for a swim."

"When Linda said she had a daughter I assumed she meant one young enough for boarding school," Max says, catching up with her long strides.

"She never even bothered to mention you to me." Nina shrugs, stubbing out her cigarette on an expensive looking Murano glass ashtray.

"If you'll beg my pardon, you look nothing like her. I was expecting someone more.."

"White?" Nina grins, and it makes Max's heart want to stop.

"Well, yes, actually." This gives him the chance to scope her out. She's blessed with an athletic build, her svelte body kissed by the sun. Her hips curve oh-so-delicately to her slender waist where the still-dripping ends of her raven-black hair stick to her flawless skin. Her breasts are perky and firm, the points of her nipples poking through her bikini top. Max lets his eyes drift there, lingering a little before roving upwards to Nina's face, her plush red-painted lips already curved in a smirk, her eyes holding mischief when their gazes meet again.

"I'm adopted," she answers. "Thank fucking god."

She opens wide the patio French doors to reveal the pool party: "Hot Girls in Love" by Loverboy blasts from the boombox as college kids splash in the pool or lazily tan themselves on one of the dozens of sunning chairs, either asleep or drunk or high.

"Not the party you were expecting, huh?" Nina smiles at Max, taking his hand and leading him outside.

"Do you know everyone here?" Max asks, subtly eyeing some of the coeds, but his attention goes straight back to his hostess.

"Not really. But I can't stand being alone. So I just let people come over. I'm a modern-day Gatsby."

His brows raise. "You've read F. Scott Fitzgerald?"

Nina takes a beer and cracks the tab open, taking a small sip. "You think because I'm rich and hot that I'm stupid as well?"

Max pales. "No, I didn't mean--"

"Relax. Have a drink," she says, grabbing another beer for him, but not before placing the cold can on her chest, sweeping over her collarbones and dipping into the plentiful cleavage. "Need to cool off a little first," she says, handing him the drink at last.

His eyes nearly pop out of his head but he maintains a degree of cool, offering a slight smirk in return, his gaze dropping to the lush valley between Nina's breasts, imagining gathering the droplets of water there with a sweep of his tongue.

"Mr. Lord? Mr. Lord," an insistent voice is in his ear and he turns to see Linda's maid. "Forgive me, I couldn't hear your arrival over all the noise." She shoots a glaring look at Nina. "If you prefer you may wait inside, where better refreshment is available." She wrinkles her nose at the beer in his hand.

"Thank you, Paulette," he murmurs. "I may stay out here a moment longer. The air is so nice right now." He casts another furtive glance at his fiancée's daughter.

"As you wish," the maid says, casting him a snobby look before going inside.

Nina glides back into the water, sharing a floatie with another girl. Max's fantasy goes into overdrive as he watches the two bikini-clad college girls snuggled so close together.

"Who's the dweeb?" her friend Tammy asks.

"Another one of Linda's poor suckers. Supposedly he's her fiancé," Nina groans.

"He's kinda cute.. he's that hotshot from those dumb commercials, isn't he?"

"That's right," Nina answers, watching him covertly through her sunglasses. Max walks around aimlessly, talking to people here and there but this group isn't exactly his age range.

"Maybe I'll blow him," she says. "He seems like the type to be humbled by a BJ."

Tammy laughs, splashing her with water. "If you can't humble him, no one can."

Max is enjoying his last moments of freedom before Linda is due to arrive, his eyes drinking in as much of Nina as he can. He watches her glide under the aquamarine water, surfacing just where he stood at the edge of the pool, like Phoebe Cates in Fast Times at Ridgemont High.

"Linda's town car is driving up," she tells him as he admires her: shiny and wet, the pool water glistening on her dark lustrous hair. "You should probably go inside and get ready for your romantic dinner." She smirks, going underwater again.

"Wait.. how did you know she's coming?" he asks, but Nina's already gone.

"Max! Where are youuuu?" Linda's voice rings out, making him cringe. She appears in her prim grey Armani power suit, pearls at her ears and throat, silver hair short and feathered. Max can't help thinking if she was even twenty years younger he'd find her more attractive.

"I see my daughter invited her friends over," she smiles with hidden disgust at the younger people infringing on her personal property. "Nina dear, have everyone gone immediately," she says, finding her daughter drying off.

"Will she be joining us for dinner?" he asks, hoping not to sound too hopeful.

Nina catches it as she passes by and a mischievous glint sparks her eye. "I'd love to get to know the man you're going to marry," she says agreeably.

Linda looks like she'd rather eat dirt, but she smiles. "Of course. Tell your friends to leave, then get ready to dine with us."

Max suffers through the humiliation of Linda feeding him like he's a child. No matter that he doesn't like asparagus-- Linda feeds him extra helpings. "It's good for your digestion," she says, patting the small bulge of his belly.

He smiles, chewing the horrid greens. "My Linda always looks out for me.."

Nina watches from her seat across from Max, stifling a smirk on her rouged lips. And Max can't even tell Linda no, because she knows he needs her. So, annoyed by her treatment of him, he knows better than to protest.

"I'm thinking, dear Maxy.." Linda coos.

His ears perk up. Now may be the time to discuss the loan she'll give him. He does his best to maintain his composure.

Linda continues, "We should save our business negotiations for after the wedding."

Max places his hands on the table, because he's very certain it's just turned.

"Oh.. dear Linda," he says with false sweetness that she seems not to pick up on. "I'd really hoped to get a good start before we're officially man and wife. And I thought to pay you back quickly for your generous loan, as sort of a wedding present."

Nina remains quiet through all this, moving her food around on her plate, a look of utter boredom on her beautiful face as she takes in the exchange. As usual, Linda acts as if she isn't even there. "May I be excused?" she asks, interrupting their little love fest.

Linda looks up. "Already?"

"As much fun as it is to watch you spoon-feed your fiancé who's young enough to be your son, I'd much rather be at Tammy's. I'm going to spend the night." She puts down her napkin, pushing her plate of uneaten food away.

"Fine, fine," Linda answers, not bothering to look at her daughter. "I hope you've at least cleaned your room. I can't tell you how embarrassed Paulette gets when she walks in and has to see your lacy underthings and.. sex toys strewn everywhere."

Max does his best not to crack a smile, though his blush is obvious when Nina casts her glace on him. She smirks, daring him to meet her eyes.

Paulette comes in to tell Linda she has a phone call, and the older woman throws her napkin down, giving Max a kiss on the cheek before leaving. "If you are very good you'll get dessert," she whispers before leaving to take her phone call.

"Ooh, dessert," Nina smirks. "It's a good thing I'll be out of the house. I wouldn't want to overhear anything that might make my imagination run wild." On those long legs she stalks over to Max, standing behind him, her hands resting on his shoulders. Her red lacquered nails gleam in the light of the overhead chandelier. "You're a man of style, aren't you?" she whispers. "Just be careful with this suit.. you've got a little something here." She leans in and lightly licks away a tiny bit of sauce from the corner of his mouth.

Max is glad for the dinner napkin resting in his lap though it's doing little to hide the growing erection she's giving him. After she goes upstairs and Linda returns from her call, his face is still pink, his brain still swimming with thoughts of Nina in that teeny bikini, holding his beer to her clevage. He imagines her polished fingers wrapping around his-

He's distracted by Linda once more, and feigns attention to her, ignoring the tiny ache in his balls as he softens from his earlier excitement. But the little minx that she is, his future stepdaughter traipses down the stairs, duffel bag in hand, a barely-there mini dress under her denim bedazzled jacket. Catching his glance she blows him a kiss, then sticks her tongue in her cheek, her fist going to her mouth, mimicking a blow job, giggling as she takes her leave through the front door.

Yeah, he's definitely gonna marry Linda now.

Music inspo for this chapter:

dividers by @strangergraphics & @plum98 👑

taglist: @darkheartgatita @missladym1981 @whoaitspascal87

@djarinmuse @foreveratlantica-blog @a-loneywolf @chalterdh22

@elegantduckturtle @joelalorian @algressman16 @rafeysgirl5

@kissing-among-snowflakes (if at any time you want to be added or removed, please let me know 💗)

[todayisawthewhxlewxrld]

NO MORE PRAYING, BABY, I'MA BE YOUR PREACHER!

I KNOW IT'S WEIGHING ON YOUR CONSCIENCE.

synopsis// choso isn't as holy as he seems—no thanks to you.

➚ pairing// priest!choso x gn!reader ➚ word count// .430

contents// 16+ EXPLICIT—NO ACTUAL SMUT BUT MENTIONS OF EXPLICIT ACTIONS (bj n hj), like lowkey corrupting choso...? priest!choso au, not really a full oneshot just a drabble/headcanon?

notes// MY FUCKING MAN DEAR LORD IM ON MY KNEES. anyway we know priest!choso came to me in a dream so thats what inspired this. and church by chase atlantic just fit so. this might b cringe n rlly bad bc i dont write suggestive stuff okay baiii :*

priest!choso, who can clearly see the way you act around him, yet at first does nothing about it.

priest!choso, who isn't blind, yet fears that sooner or later he’ll have to pluck out his eyes with the way he’s unable to stop staring at you.

priest!choso, who realizes it’s not really his fault he looks at you like that—not when you purposely wear the tightest jeans you own, looking like they're about to burst at the seams as you bend over, picking up the donation you oh so conveniently dropped in front of him.

priest!choso, who says he isn't stupid, yet will lean into your lingering touches that he knows are nothing more than a spider’s web for him to get caught in.

priest!choso, who will answer your questions knowing you don't actually care to hear the answer because he loves the way you look at him like he’s something to eat, sends shivers down his spine.

priest!choso, who will only let himself think about you and consider indulging in your actions in the seclusion and comfort of his room, where crosses and depictions of his god won't find him.

priest!choso, who will stop and pray when his hand snakes down into his pants, recalling the way you licked your lips and batted your eyelashes at him as you nodded innocently, pretending like you actually gave a fuck about anything he was saying—apologizing to his god for the fact that he was about to sin and asking for forgiveness.

priest!choso, who, after that night, tries to keep his distance. attempting to ignore you at every turn, which quickly becomes impossible when you just won't let up—cornering him every chance you get.

priest!choso, who has no idea how you do it. he doesn’t know how you get to him like this or how just one sway of your hips has any thought of ignoring you disappearing into thin air.

priest!choso, who thinks you’re here to test his devotion to his god.

priest!choso, who thinks fuck his devotion when you find him in the confessionals after mass one night.

priest!choso, who will let you coax him into just one kiss, because that's not so bad, right?

priest!choso, who lets you talk him into a hand job and even a blow job because technically he’s not breaking celibacy if there's no penetration. 

priest!choso, who lets you do whatever you want to him because he’s already this far gone, what’s a little more?

priest!choso, who doesn't know how he was devoted to a god for so long when you were right there.

©TODAYISAWTHEWHXLEWXRLD

[livelaughlovesubs]

Oki doki follow up question since you DO infact like Magito! (Ppl are so mean to enjoyers of him :(

What's your favorite nsfw headcanon? I'm sure you've got them. I love hearing others hcs for my favorite blorbos <3

Ohhh I have a silly headcanon that he wants to know what it’s like to be knocked up as a girl.

And I feel like he’d be into cream pie, or cum in general

Like having it on his face - aka eating out, giving bj, just cum play

He’s very sado-maso if you ask me, and he’d definitely have a gore fetish too

What I mean is he likes blood, his own or yours, depends on how he’s feeling

Annnd he likes wounds, like the fatal ones. He can’t die cuz of them anyway so he doesn’t mind it if you just, like, chop off his arms

No joke now, I feel like he’d be into amputation, probably on himself and others 💀 (but I think he is sub leaning, like 70/30?)

Probably not really considerate for what you like, except you have a strong personality and can defend yourself, then he (might) not cross your boundaries. Otherwise if you are too gentle he would do things you don’t like too.

He seems like the type to be into orgies haha, but it’s not his strongest kink? Like he can go on without it too, but he’d like it

Then I also imagine him being experimental, as long as he knows he has the upper hand

So these bdsm things are purely entertainment for him, deep down he knows he can overthrow the situation whenever he wants

But if exactly that security is taken from him… the fear in his eyes would be so damn delicious, the cries, whimpers and shaking, just everything

WOULD stalk you, jerk off to you while you sleep and all the disgusting stuff

I imagine him very degenerate hehe, so it’s very fun, bc then I’d have all the rights in the world to write the most sadistic and filthy shit about him know to mankind

Would love to be romantic with him, or cute and soft, and honestly? It would be fun even, he knows how to act human

But he’d never mean the things he does, so it’s better to not even open that possibility if you don’t want to end up hurt. I think he is aromatic haha

The closest thing to love he can feel is obsession, and I’ve already described a little what he would do

Yeaaaaa, those are my silly little thoughts, thanks for asking and listening :>

[taahko]

I just found your blog today can you please explain or point out a post that explains the MASH timeloop thing? I love the show but I've never heard anyone talk abt it that way before

oh yay hurray ive been waiting for an excuse to talk about this lmao sorry this is long

ok so basically maeve (my gf) and i started watching mash for the first time about a month ago and we started joking about it being like the characters were stuck in a time loop mostly because the same basic episode format is repeated over and over, because it's a sitcom from the 70s and the episodes arent meant to be watched en masse where you can start noticing all the little repetitions and plot holes and inconsistencies that naturally occur in longform tv

but then i started to pay attention to the dates being mentioned in the show - famously the korean war never technically ended, but american troops were involved in active on the ground fighting between 1950 and 1953, so the entire 11 seasons of mash have to be squeezed into that three year period. with 251 episodes occurring within 1,129 days, that gives every episode about 4.5 days of real time. so it works right? no time loop right? well wait a sec

for the first 5 seasons or so of mash they give very consistent dates about when things are happening. for example, bj arrives in korea in september of 1952, at the start of season 4. colonel potter arrives about a week after him, and talks about how he has 18 months left before his retirement. that gives us about 7 months for the shows final 7 seasons to take place in, meaning that by the episode 'point of view' in season 7 we should be around december of 1952. in that episode the pov character starts writing a letter home and in the corner he writes the date:

september of 1951. ok, could be that this episode isn't meant to take place in the regular timeline of the season - maybe for some reason its just like, a random flashback episode. but bj, charles, and potter are all present, even though none of them got to korea until 1952. now i KNOW that this is not like, the True Hidden Secret Lore of MASH, this is the writers realizing they were running out of road and turning back the clock a bit to accommodate for how long the show was running on. but play in my time loop space with me please

more talking points:

consistent jokes about time zones and how difficult it is to call the states because "our today is their yesterday but if you call them now it might not reach them until our tomorrow and by that point our yesterday will be their today"

hawkeye's increasing mania over the seasons and his conviction that the war will never end, comparing the camp to dante's inferno multiple times. maeve once pointed out that the closer hawkeye comes to realizing that he's trapped in a time loop the closer he gets to being institutionalized - and what does the series finale cold open onto ? hawkeye in a mental institution. the only way out is to lose yourself etc. sidenote frank also escaped the time loop by going insane and getting institutionalized

in a war for all seasons bj potter and charles are all present at the 1951 new years party as well as the 1952 new years party

there are three christmas episodes, two of which bj is present for even though he should only have spent one christmas in korea

details of people's families and lives shift around - sometimes potter's got multiple grandchildren, sometimes he only has one, sometimes its a girl, sometimes its a boy, sometimes she's 5, sometimes he's 2

we're not the first people to talk about this either, here's a good video compilation posted a couple yrs ago of time loop moments

overall ive been using the time loop thesis to add another layer to my mash viewing experience. it increases the already present sense of constant dread, anger, frustration, and disgust with their situation that the characters feel, plus it feels like a very poignant take on the united states' constant warmongering and violent existence. it really never ends, it just goes on an on. the future's been canceled by the war department- we're just gonna replay the past.

[dangermousie]

I knew I said I’d stop ranting but convo with @aysekira brought it all back.

I keep being stuck on how Ruyue’s take on BJS being guilty sticks in my craw (and don’t get me wrong - I dislike BJS! It is some special writing to make me defend a character I deeply dislike!) - and it was all brought back by Yu Zheng the creator saying of course she won’t forgive him hearing he sealed her and went to get tortured in her stead, that is why he was MIA, he took away her choice!!!!

As an intro matter - not a great idea not to share communication (tho saying “my choice” seems to imply that if someone says I want to yeet myself off a 50 story building, you should let them since their choice - her behavior was gonna get her annihilated and she had no intention of stopping) but surely lack of communication is not a death penalty crime as @fake-married-my-dead-fiance pointed out.

But more importantly - two things.

One - I agree if her grudge was legit, the fact that he meant it for the best would not result in instant smoochies. How could it. But the problem with the nonsense writing is that her grudge does not come across as legit in the first place - not for her reaction! It’s like YZ watched Three Lives and wanted to do his own but like a robot (thanks @fake-married-my-dead-fiance ) he doesn’t know what made that work. I keep thinking of the pivotal scene of Ye Hua removing SuSu’s eyeballs and then taking himself off to be tortured. That is good writing - because YH did it as the best he could see of terrible options and he hated it and honestly my heart broke for him. BUT! That was me as a viewer - I could totally see why SuSu was done with him and why even if she knew the truth about eyeball removal/lightning strikes, it would fix nothing. Her husband removed her eyes!!! He is 100x more powerful, he’s supposed to protect her, he is the one who got her into that hell kingdom in the first place (that’s the other difference - SuSu has done nothing to expect torture and punishment, Ruyue repeatedly broke their laws; whether the laws are just or not is a separate question but she’s the definition of pls learn about cause and effect lady.) The fact that he’s trying his best wouldn’t fix anything. None of this is applicable here.

Two - the other thing is her grudge really appeared to be you ditched us and did not pick up the phone!!! Well, learning that he left because he was helping orphans as opposed to dealing drugs and didn’t pick up the phone because he was busy being operated on versus sniffing coke off an escort makes a difference in that sort of scenario!!!

Ugh, I can’t believe the writing is so bad it has me defending undercooked tofu on legs.

[theshiniestgemstone]

Hi lovely! Hope your drive all went smoothly and you’re at your new place safe and sound!

I was wondering if you’d be willing to write some more on popstar!reader? Maybe Gideon takes everyone to one of her concerts?

thank you for checking in!! Drive went well. I only lost my splash guard and my sanity at about 1:30 in the morning after 15 hours of driving but I made it safe and sound to my job :)

I would LOOOVEEE to write more popstar!reader, so here goes with their first concert.

"Does that shirt say 'cumslut'?" Jesse asked, watching a girl walk by.

Gideon spotted her. She couldn't have been older than 19. "Yeah."

"What kind of music does your little girl do, again?" The elder of the two asked, spotting another young set of friends wearing revealing outfits, arms linked as they giggled in the line for concessions.

"Pop music. Keep up," Gideon replied, grabbing his mother's hand to push through the line for beer.

The three had spent most of the day backstage, listening to soundchecks and watching you filter in and out of the room. You had even walked in with a binder. After Amber flipped through it, she went back to a page, examining it with a careful eye and then nodded. Two weeks ago, you had celebrated your two year anniversary and the six month anniversary of meeting his family, all of them, at Galilee Gulch. Your profession came up in conversation, and your song about how good Gideon was to you came up on the radio. Gideon blushed as you explained the song to Jesse. Then, Judy had the bright idea to see you perform. Live.

It weighed on Gideon, knowing just how intense your shows could be, the flashing lights, screaming fans, the occasional person holding up a poster with a lyric that made his ears burn. But he’d rather sit through all of it, through wardrobe changes and raunchy bridges about his hands, than miss the way you looked on stage. He loved watching you in your element, commanding a crowd that hung onto every word you sang.

Even if Jesse was going to run his mouth the whole time.

The three of them finally pushed through the last knot of people and ducked beneath the velvet rope marking the reserved section high above the general crowd. The view was pristine—direct line of sight to the stage, elevated just enough to avoid the crush but still close enough to feel the bass in your chest.

“Look who finally decided to come back,” Judy announced, her voice already a little too loud from the two vodka sodas she'd double-fisted before the opener even finished. She was perched with her knees tucked up in a seat, boots off, and a hot pink feather boa wrapped around her shoulders like she was the one performing tonight.

BJ gave a timid wave from beside her, a concession tray balanced on his lap with two pretzels and a glowing blue cocktail that didn’t look FDA-approved.

“Y’all see the girl with the caution tape dress?” Kelvin asked, leaning over the row in front of him as Gideon dropped into his seat. “Had, like, devil horns on. Devil horns. At a concert. What kinda message is that?”

Keefe, seated next to him and holding a water bottle like it was holy, offered a small shrug. “Might be her way of reclaiming symbolism. Empowerment through provocation.”

Baby Billy grunted from the end of the row. “What it is, is nasty. We’re gonna be lucky if the Lord don’t smite this whole venue before the night’s over.”

“You agreed to come,” Tiffany reminded him sweetly, rubbing her baby bump with one hand and sipping soda through a straw with the other. “Ain’t nobody forced you. I told you this was gon’ be one of them sexy concerts.”

“I thought y’all meant, like, Beyoncé sexy,” he muttered. “Not Sodom and Gomorrah sexy.”

Eli, sitting in the middle of the row with his hands folded over his cane, was the only one who hadn’t spoken. He watched the stage in calm silence, brow furrowed like he was still undecided if this counted as family support or public penance.

Gideon sat forward slightly in his chair, hands clasped between his knees as the lights dimmed and a chorus of screams erupted around the arena. His breath caught in his throat for a second—out of nerves, out of pride, out of sheer awe as the screen flared to life with your name in bold, glittering letters.

Then the curtain dropped, and there you were.

All at once, the stage lit up in pinks and golds, smoke curling around your ankles as you strode to the mic stand in a fitted bodysuit that shimmered with every step. Your dancers fell in behind you like clockwork, but Gideon barely noticed them. You looked out at the crowd like you owned every single one of them.

“Hot damn,” Jesse muttered, his tone shifting from judgment to appreciation in a breath. “She’s really doin’ it, huh?”

“She always does,” Gideon replied under his breath, eyes never leaving you.

You opened with one of your early hits, the one he still had memorized from when you made him listen to the first rough demo over a Bluetooth speaker in your kitchen. Even now, through the polished version, he could vividly see the way you blushed and avoided eye contact when he first listened, afraid to hear his thoughts after it was over. The crowd went wild, screaming every lyric like scripture, and somewhere in the middle of the second verse, you caught sight of the roped-off section. Your eyes found Gideon’s, and your smile widened, just enough for him to see it was for him.

Amber reached across him to pat his knee, her hand lingering longer than usual. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t have to.

The lights dimmed again, this time into a soft, moody gold. The beat faded, dancers slipped offstage, and you crossed to the piano at the center, heels clicking against the polished floor. A hush fell over the stadium as the massive screen behind you shifted from animated graphics to a still shot of a night sky—simple, serene, a quiet backdrop to what came next.

You adjusted the mic, settled on the bench, and let your fingers hover over the keys before glancing up with a gentle smile.

“I have some special, special people in the crowd tonight,” you said, voice low, threaded with warmth. The crowd responded with whoops and cheers, and you laughed softly, nodding in thanks. “I always feel lucky to do this, but tonight… I feel a little extra grateful.”

High up in the reserved section, the entire Gemstone row shifted. A few pairs of eyes turned toward Gideon.

“Oh shit,” Judy whispered, smacking BJ in the arm. “She’s talkin’ about us.”

“She better be,” BJ murmured, nervously checking to see if anyone was looking at him.

Eli looked over at Gideon with a raised brow. Gideon didn’t move. His eyes were locked on you, his throat suddenly dry.

You continued. “Two years ago, I met someone who changed the way I saw the world. I wasn’t looking for anything serious. I was just trying to keep my head above water, chasing something I didn’t really understand yet.” You paused. “But then I met him. And he was soft-spoken and thoughtful and real in a way I didn’t know I needed.”

A flicker of movement caught your eye. Even in the high seats, even in dim light, you could see him, sitting stiffly, hands clasped and eyes wide. You smiled again, smaller this time, more private. Just for him.

“And six months ago,” you went on, “he brought me home. And I met the rest of him. His wild, sweet, chaotic family. And I realized if I wanted to be with him, I had to love all of it. Every part. Even the faces they made during my song about how big his- well you get the point."

The crowd roared. Cheers, laughter, some scattered whistles. A few people in the front row clapped like they were at a comedy show. Your smile widened, pleased, but your eyes went right back to that roped-off section above the chaos.

Where the faces in question were reacting exactly as you'd expected.

Jesse’s jaw dropped. “She did not just say that.”

“She did,” Amber groaned, covering her face with both hands, half laughing and half trying to sink into her seat. “Oh my God.”

BJ turned a deep shade of pink. “Is it about that song? The one with the high note in the bridge?”

Judy was cackling. “I knew it! I knew that song was about hisstroke game. I said it the first time I heard it in the car, and y’all were like, ‘Nooo, Judy, you’re bein’ gross,’ and now look!"

Kelvin choked on his soda. Keefe didn’t say a word. He was clapping softly, smiling like he’d just witnessed a sermon. Even Eli cracked a smirk. It was subtle and brief, but unmistakable. He shook his head as if to say Lord, help us, but his eyes never left the stage.

And at the center of it all, Gideon sat utterly frozen. A hand ran over his mouth. His ears were red, his cheeks were redder, and his expression was locked somewhere between horror and pride. When he finally looked up and caught your gaze again, you winked. He dropped his head into his hands and laughed.

Down below, the lights shifted again, and the intro to your next song floated up through the stadium like a breeze through silk. You leaned into the mic one last time, voice low and teasing. “This one’s for anyone who’s ever been loved exactly how they needed… and a little more than they expected.”

The crowd screamed again, and the slow, sensual beat kicked in.

Back in the box, Judy was fanning herself with a snack menu. Baby Billy grumbled something about the decline of moral decency. Jesse reached over to smack Gideon’s shoulder, laughing so hard he nearly fell out of his seat. He just sat there, glowing red, shaking his head with a crooked smile, thinking, God, I love that woman.