#how to make a scene go from boring to battle in like one page

[astrakim]

Operation Sexy ⋆⭒˚.⋆

>Summary: “Sexy girls,” he said. Y/N nearly chokes on her noodles.Now she’s on a mission—with lace, candles, and a questionable smolder—to remind Ni-ki exactly who he’s dating.

Spoiler: It doesn’t go as planned.

But somehow, it ends even better.

>Warnings: A little suggestive towards end. Ni-ki being lowkey feral,dirty talk that escalates fast, Y/N being... thoroughly reminded what sexy means, nothing much, remind me add anything!

>Word Count: 1025

Reblogs and Likes are really appreciated!!

Enjoy your read!

Y/N was scrolling TikTok on a lazy Thursday afternoon, sprawled sideways on the couch like a Victorian widow in mourning, wearing her usual stay-at-home fit: his XXL hoodie (stained with yesterday’s ramen), panda socks pulled high, and hair in a bun held together with a stolen chopstick. The TV was on but muted, and she was three bites into a bowl of instant noodles when her For You Page betrayed her.

A video. A clip. A cursed one.

The caption read: “Ni-ki reveals he likes sexy girls at recent fansign 👀🔥”

She blinked.

Her thumb moved before her brain did.

She clicked it. Her WiFi lagged. Her soul paused. Then—

There he was.

Ni-ki. Her boyfriend. Limbs like a Calvin Klein model, posture like a bored cat. He was seated at a fansign table, bright-eyed and charming, doing that thing where he looked both mischievous and innocent depending on which side of the screen you were sitting on. A fan leaned close, asking a question. He tilted his head, lips pursed.

“Hmm… ideal type?” he repeated, buying time with his signature drawl.

He smiled. A soft one. A knowing one.

“Sexy girls,” he replied with zero hesitation. “I like... sexy girls.”

And then he winked.

WINKED.

Y/N choked so hard on her noodles she had to do the little cough-wheeze thing that made her look like a malfunctioning robot. Eyes wide, she replayed the clip.

And again.

And again.

Each time, her expression morphed from confusion to betrayal to existential dread.

“Sexy girls,” she muttered, stabbing her noodles like they’d personally offended her. “SEXY GIRLS?”

She stood up so fast the bowl tilted dangerously.

“I have been dating this man for months. MONTHS. And not once—not ONCE—have I attempted anything remotely resembling sexy.”

She looked down at herself.

Crusty hoodie. Panda socks. Chapped lips. A noodle in her hair.

“No wonder he takes hours to reply sometimes,” she whispered.

She squared her shoulders like a woman preparing for battle.

“This can’t go on,” she declared, ramen forgotten. “He wants sexy? I’ll give him sexy.”

---

🍓 Plan: Operation Sexy 🍓

Amazon Prime was both her savior and her accomplice. Within two days, she had a full arsenal: lace, satin, edible glitter (don’t ask), and three types of fishnets that she didn’t know how to wear without looking like a confused spider.

She practiced her poses in the mirror, pulling her hair down, trying that seductive lean where your hip pops out and you tilt your head slightly and—

Nope. That looked like she had scoliosis.

She tried again. Smoldering eyes. Pout. Hands in her hair.

Lip gloss got stuck in her bangs.

She tried crawling on the bed. She got a knee cramp.

This was war.

She was determined.

---

The room was lit with candles. Not just mood lighting—movie scene lighting. She’d even dimmed the lamps, sprayed his favorite scent behind her ears, and arranged the snacks in a heart shape (though that might’ve been overkill).

She stood by the couch, posed in the new lingerie—deep red, delicate straps, enough lace to make a nun faint—and bunny slippers. She couldn’t bring herself to take them off. They were her emotional support slippers.

Ni-ki entered, hoodie half-hanging off one shoulder, damp hair tousled from practice.

His bag dropped to the floor with a quiet thud.

He blinked.

Y/N flipped her hair.

It got caught in her lip gloss.

He stared.

She struck a pose: hand on hip, leg popped, gaze smoldering (read: intense eye contact with one brow twitching).

Then—

He laughed.

Full-bodied, shoulders-shaking, doubled-over kind of laugh. The kind that made his dimple show.

“I—what—Riki!” she shrieked, tripping on the rug. “Stop laughing! I’m trying to be—sexy!”

He wheezed.

“You look like a confused valentine,” he said between gasps. “And why are you wearing bunny slippers?”

She wilted. “I saw the fansign clip. I just—I thought—”

Ni-ki stepped forward, still chuckling, but his eyes softened as he took in the sight of her up close.

Gorgeous. Flushed. Trying so hard.

He cupped her face gently, thumb brushing her cheek. “You’re sexy all the time, you know that?”

She blinked. “What?”

He smiled, voice dipping into that low, serious register he rarely used unless things were about to get real.

“When you look at me with that serious face while you're cooking.” “When you stretch and your shirt lifts a little.” “When you say my name like it’s a secret just for me.” “When you kiss me without warning.” “Even when you trip over your own feet trying to be sexy.”

“You’re saying you get… turned on by that?”

“I get horny when you breathe near me,” he muttered without shame.

Her breath caught.

“You whisper ‘Riki’ in my ear and my brain blanks out. You walk around my apartment in my shirt and I forget how to spell my name.”

Y/N flushed. “I—I didn’t know—”

He stepped closer. His fingers brushed her hips.

“This?” he murmured, letting his eyes trail down slowly, pausing with purpose. “This is definitely getting added to the list.”

She shivered.

He leaned in, lips ghosting over hers, not kissing—yet.

“You wanna know what else I find sexy?”

She nodded, eyes half-lidded.

“When you let me show you.”

Then he kissed her. Slow. Heavy. Deep.

His hands moved with reverence, then hunger, tracing every line like a map he’d memorized a thousand times. He whispered between kisses:

“You biting your lip like that?”

Kiss.

“Dangerous.”

Fingers trailing down her bare back.

“You looking at me like you want me to ruin you?”

Kiss.

“Fucking lethal.”

She whimpered. His grin turned sinful.

“You have no idea what you do to me, baby.”

The air shifted. Her hands slid beneath his hoodie, pushing it off, palms skimming across his skin like a secret. Their breathing tangled. Heat pulsed between them.

“You’re still wearing those slippers,” he whispered against her neck.

She laughed breathlessly. “I panicked.”

He nipped her earlobe. “Keep them on.”

She gasped.

He pulled her to the bedroom without another word.

The door clicked shut.

And the candles burned low as the night turned very, very not PG.

------------------⋆⁺｡˚⋆˙‧₊☽ ◯ ☾₊‧˙⋆˚｡⁺⋆------------------

a/n: My mind is going feral since Ni-ki said that in a fanmeet!! Anyways hope you guys enjoyed it and yeah that's it bye byee!!!

Comment to get added to prem taglist!!

© All rights reserved to astrakim.

[non-un-topo]

How it feels to listen to The Northman soundtrack

[literaryvein-reblogs]

Writing Notes: Fight Scene

How to Write a Convincing Fight Scene

In practice, writing a realistic fight scene for your novel is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.

That’s because fight scenes can be boring to read.

A movie allows the audience to take a passive stance and have the action wash over them.

In contrast, reading a fight scene requires the audience to activate their imagination.

The audience must participate in constructing the fight scene from your clues and seeing it play out in their mind’s eye.

That’s a lot more difficult than getting it fed to you visually.

Below are strategies for writing fight scenes.

Fight Scenes Should Move the Story Forward

The very first rule for fight writing (and writing any scene in general) is to ensure that it moves the story forward.

Say “no” to gratuitous fight scenes that only show off fancy moves or writing skills.

Here’s the easiest way to find out if your fight scene moves the story:

Delete it.

Now, read the scene before and the scene after.

Can you still make sense of what happened?

If the fight caused some type of transition in your story, keep it in.

And remember: Not all transitions are physical. Some are mental.

You don’t always have to discuss the physical aftermath.

You can also explore the mental fallout after a fight.

This can be how the fight moves the story forward.

Fight Scenes Should Improve Characterization

Because reading a fight scene can get boring quickly, it’s important that you focus on more than the bare-knuckle action.

Use fights as a way to explore your character(s) and provide more insight on the following:

Why does the character make the choices that they make in the fight?

How does each choice reinforce their characterization?

How does each choice impact their internal and/ or external goals?

Is this conflict getting the character closer or further away from their goals? How?

What are the stakes for each character? What do they stand to win/lose?

What type of fighter is the character? What are their physical or mental abilities? (Remember that not every protagonist will be a trained assassin, so they’re prone to make sloppy mistakes during a fight.)

Use the fight scene to reveal necessary information about the characters.

Be sure to give the reader a glimpse into the character’s soul and not just into their fighting skills.

Fight Scenes Shouldn't Slow the Pace

In movies and especially in real life, fights go by quickly.

But in literature, fight scenes can slow the pace.

That’s because you have to write all of the details and the reader has to reconstruct the scene in their minds.

However, if you employ certain literary devices into your narrative, you can actually create a taut fight scene.

Here are some tips:

Write in shorter sentences. Shorter sentences are easier to digest. It also speeds up the pace of a story.

Mix action with dialogue. Don’t just write long descriptions of what’s happening. Also, share the verbal exchange between your characters.

Don’t focus too much on what’s going on inside the character’s mind. Introspection happens before and after a fight, not during.

Keep the fight short. Fights should never go on for pages (unless you’re discussing an epic battle between armies, and not individuals).

Hit ’Em With All the Senses

One of the best ways to get visceral when describing a fight is to activate every sense possible.

This includes sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell.

Think of how you can use these five descriptors in your writing to immediately transport the reader to the scene.

Sight 

Perhaps the most obvious.

You’ll describe exactly what the characters are seeing and what the reader should pay attention to in the scene.

Hearing 

Is a little more delicate.

A fight scene is a perfect time to introduce onomatopoeia into your narrative.

Onomatopoeia - a word that sounds like what it is describing.

Try using more subtle examples, such as:

Boom, Clang, Clap, Clatter, Click, Crack, Creak, Crunk, Fizzle, Gargle, Groan, Grunt, Gurgle, Hiss, Howl, Hum, Knock, Plod, Rattle, Roar, Rustle, Sizzle, Smack, Splash, Splatter, Squeal, Tap, Thud, Thumb, Whine, Whisper

Taste 

Be careful with going abstract here.

Instead of using phrases like, “he could taste fear in the air,”

go for something more concrete like, “blood mixed with strawberry lip gloss was a strange taste.”

Touch 

Perhaps one of the easiest senses to convey.

Describe how the characters feel and interact with each other physically.

Smell 

You often see or hear a fight, but can you smell it?

In person, what would the fight smell like? Probably sweat.

Consider other scents, such as the ambient aroma in the scene.

Example: If the fight takes place in a car garage, there may be the lingering scent of motor oil and tire rubber.

Don’t be afraid to add that into the scene to introduce a different dimension.

When Writing a Fight Scene, Edit, Edit, Edit

A good story is an edited one.

The same rule applies to fight scenes.

A sloppy fight scene can slow the pace of your story and/or confuse the reader.

When editing your fight scene, keep the following in mind:

Don’t include a blow by blow of what happens in the fight. After your initial draft, remove non-essential details that can slow down reading.

Delete flowery language. Extra words drag the pace. Remove every single word that you can.

Consolidate characters to reduce reader confusion and frustration.

Source ⚜ Fight Scenes (Part 2) ⚜ Words for your Fight Scenes Word Lists: Fight ⚜ Poking/Hitting ⚜ Panting ⚜ Running ⚜ Pain

Writing Resources PDFs

[gaypirate420]

Stars // Jasper W. Hale.

Jasper Whitlock-Hale x gn!reader.

Summary: You're bored in class and doodle on Jasper's arm.

Fluff. Jasper's Battle Scars.

A yawn scaped your lips as you stared down at your teacher as she gives a lecture that is not registering on your mind at all. She's talking something about the history of Forks, you don't care, she's boring and it's making you sleepy.

You stared down at your notes, empty except for today's date, your eyes travel to your right to find Jasper actually paying attention and writing down what he finds useful.

"Isn't that a bit useless?" You whisper to him, Jasper's eyes meet yours and he smirks, he raised an eyebrow.

"Writing down notes for history, I mean, I don't think you need notes, you where there." You explained, whispering very low the last part, Jasper lean over closer to you.

"I don't, but you need them, darlin'." He whispered back with a small smile. You smiled and felt your cheeks warming up after hearing the nickname. Your hand went up to his messy hair and brush it down with your fingers, he smiled at your action and let you be.

He quickly stealed a kiss off your cheek and kept paying attention to the class as if nothing happened while you felt your cheeks burning.

Jasper saw how your attention went to anything but the class, you took your pencil case that's full of scrunched up post its and colorful pens and started doodling on your notebook.

Jasper doesn't mind helping you, he gets to spend more time with you and you get a handsome vampire tutor to explain you what you missed over and over if necessary and never gets angry.

The vampire looks back at the teacher, as he hears your pen moving all around the page.

He feels you lifting the sleeves of his sweater and cursing under your breath when you found his dress shirt.

"So many layers, can't even get cold." You murmur teasinly, if it wasn't from his increased hearing he would miss little things like this. Jasper smirks and continues to write before he feels the pen against his marble skin.

He stayed still for a second, his eyes moved to look at you.

You can't see them, his scars, not all of them. But the ones you do seem to be treated with extreme care as you started doodling on his pale arm.

They don't itch, they don't hurt, but, for him, it felt so nice, so important.

Jasper felt flustered, almost like his dead hearth skipped a beat at the sight of the tender scene.

You drew stars, it felt right. You smiled widely as you keep adding more and more, along with little hearts and even a flower on his forearm.

"Do you like your tattoos?" You whispered with the cutest smile he's ever seen. Jasper nodded.

"You're very talented, pumpkin." He could feel your heart skipping and of course your emotions going wild. He smiles as your happiness rub off on him.

"Now you do mine." You offered your pen to him, Jasper looked back at the teacher who spoke nonsense by now, he could make the teacher look like fool on another day for now he smiles and picks up the pen.

His icy cold fingers gently grabbed your arm, bringing it closer to him, you felt a shiver down your body at the sensation.

Your felt the tingly sensation of the pen against your arms, making you giggle silently.

Jasper drew flowers, some skulls that matched your wristband and of course, stars. Your eyes admired him, his blonde hair falling on his face and his furrowed eyebrows showing the absolute dedication to this task.

"There, sugar." He spoke gently, you looked at your arm and grabbed his hand. You saw his wrist and with your free hand you passed two of your bracelets from your wrist to his.

Jasper smiled again, it's odd for him to doing that so many times on so little time, he's getting giddy in the best way possible.

"Now we match." You spoke with an excited whisper. Jasper nodded, your eyes went wide with an idea.

"We should wear matching outfits one day." You smiled wider at the thought. The vampire nodded in agreement.

"That's a great idea, dear." His golden eyes looked at you before he leaned and kissed your lips.

"Mister Hale." The teacher called his name and he pulled away from you, your cheeks were burning again and you looked at the floor in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry, Miss." Jasper spoke with a victorious smirk as the teacher's frown disappears and turns into a smile, and of course the rest of the class magically turning their heads from you and Jasper.

"Don't worry about it." The teacher spoke with a following chuckle before returning to give her lecture. You giggle softly and shaked your head in mocking disapproval.

Jasper steals another quick peek on your lips before focusing back to writing notes for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N: Little fluffy one shot for y'all, I'm working on the requests do not worry. Hope you like it!

[cr4yolaas]

WHIPLASH — THAT'S THE INDUSTRY, BABY!

she knows what the journalism industry entails — false rules, odd etiquette, perfect structures and guidelines enforced by those at the top rung of the ladder. she also knows that if she's going to get what she wants, she needs to abide by all of it. even if it means throwing herself away.

001. armageddon / masterlist / 003. look back

The condensation collecting on her glass creates a little ring on the wooden table, an indication of how long she's spent waiting and her dissipating patience. Her shirt — the one Nobara picked out for her a year ago, in the midst of a Black Friday sale — pricks at her skin, the fabric much too irritating for everyday wear even despite its cutesy style, and even with the indecency and the scandals it would spark, she wants nothing more than to rip it off right there and then, forgoing the time it took for her to steam and iron it alongside her dress pants.

She glances at the clock. 9:28.

Almost thirty minutes late.

Just as she all-but-gracefully swings her leg around the ledge of her chair in preparation to leave, the door creaks open and the little bell above it jingles a cheery tune. A tinge of heat rushes to her face when she sees his attire — sweatpants that practically engulf him and a Sweat Oversized Pullover Hoodie from Uniqlo, of all places (she only remembers this from her last article, in which the basketball player she interviewed went on and on about his extensive, multi-colored collection of Uniqlo basics, which he wore to every meeting). Far more casual than her.

But that detail is immediately cast aside when she takes a glance at the jewelry donning his hand and the baseball cap he dons. It's familiar. Too familiar.

When it clicks, he smiles at her — no, he smirks. As if he'd won some internal battle that she wasn't informed of.

"You didn't realize? You talk a lot of shit for—"

"Please don't." Her head falls into the valley she's created between her hands, even more heat rising to the surface of her skin. He's holding it above her head, his words clearly mocking her but sliding into one ear and falling out of the other. He doesn't admit that he'd looked up her profile when she first reached out, her picture pristine and on display on the first page of section editors for SM News. She can't quite hear him over the loud pounding in her head. "That was one time. I don't do that frequently— or at all, really."

He makes a noise that falls between a laugh and a scoff. "Sure didn't seem like it."

If not for the circumstances, she would've reached over and gouged his eyes out.

She slides her hands down her face, a heavy breath escaping her lips. She can't quite afford to slip up this early, not with how important this exclusive is for her company. Something about a competition with the two other largest publishers in Tokyo, all of which are rushing to get their grimy hands on the city's most prized baseball team and their secrets. So, with the last bit of composure she can muster, she offers a deal — in exchange for the exclusive, she'll promise to give him a good rep in the industry and keep anything important away from her competing journalists, the ones who would fight tooth and nail for even a smidge of controversy to stir up anything in the (only recently) all-too-peaceful sports scene.

He looks at her as if to question her sanity, his eyes boring into hers.

They both know it's beyond unequal. That any normal, sane person would decline such a ridiculous offer. But, unfortunately for both of them, they have things to protect — and neither can risk exposure.

He grits his teeth before agreeing with a rushed, "Sure." Her coffee is far too watered down now, and as soon as the word slips from his mouth, his own drink arrives at the pick-up counter. She tries not to watch as he leaves to get it, but it's hard, especially when there's so much — too much — to lose here.

She wants to laugh. All because of one night, and a supposedly random man who offered an ear.

When he returns, the air clears ever so slightly, as if reaching a telepathic agreement to brush aside whatever history, however minimal, they shared prior to this moment, despite how significantly it could impact both of their careers. He slides her his phone all too trustingly, and on screen is everything she needs — schedules, details, dates. Immediately, she gets to work, the cover of her MacBook (company provided, thankfully) almost flying open and her notepad already resting to her right. He pretends not to notice the Asahi Dry design on her pen, the details akin to something randomly handed out at a festival or convention. On the other hand, he does notice how crazed and frantic she looks, and makes a point to comment on it.

"Just so you know, you look insane," he mutters while leaning back in his seat, a juxtaposition to her hunched posture as she jots something down.

She scoffs under her breath, her hand still writing rapidly while the other hovers over the mousepad. "How else do you think I got here?"

He's pushed into silence with that, leaving him to observe more than he should. He catches on quickly to how often she brushes stray hands hair away from her face, sometimes snappily, and other times carefully. The collar of her shirt isn't centered, the result of her feverish efforts. Her foot keeps tapping against the bottom ring of her tall chair. Too much to notice. He tries not to, but it proves difficult when all he can do is quietly watch.

It takes ten minutes before she straightens up, excitedly packing her bag before explaining that she'll message him regarding their next interview and the information she'll need, a perfect script she'd memorized within her first year of writing. On the contrary, he's sluggish, almost as if he doesn't want to leave the comfort of the seat. Megumi glances at their drinks — hers isn't even halfway finished, and the ring at the bottom of her glass is more of a puddle now, whereas his is a sip away from meeting the trash can. "I'll pay," he mutters while just barely noticing that she got his order down to a tee prior to even meeting him. He can't mention it before she retorts almost instantly, her tongue laced with sass and minimal patience.

"Did you think you weren't paying at the start?" She's smiling at him.

"Dunno."

"Yikes," she laughs, and it's not forced or professional or scripted or any of the sort. He feigns annoyance at the noise.

The door jingles with the same joyous melody from before when they exit together, his hand holding the door open for her albeit begrudgingly. Something that sounds like a goodbye slips from her lips, and before they split paths, she waves (customarily). He ignores it for a moment — it irks him, her behavior and how desperate she is for this exclusive. But beneath the ire bubbling up, there's a hint of guilt, pushing him to wave back.

By the time he turns around, she's already gone.

★ nobara is the source of like 40% of yn's wardrobe

★ sometimes she'll come home with three bags of clothes and ask yn to try them all on and keep the ones she likes

★ its the golf course tips from old men that funds this behavior

★ the asahi dry pen is a real thing bc i have one that i got from the oc japan fair LOL. it's actually pretty cute and writes well

★ yn almost cried tears of joy when they gave her a new macbook once she got promoted to section editor ... hers was falling apart and had the nasty screen protector marks from when she peeled it off

★ megs was in a bad mood the rest of the day. like a little ipad kid throwing a silent tantrum

★ also sorry not sorry i’m projecting my social ineptitude onto yuuji for the rest of this fic </3

TAGLIST: @kameyyy @s777athv @solecitoszn @1l-ynn @valvoria @standcom @kissunday @hqnge @applepi25 @fushiguruuzzzz @reveurdoll @anotherwriternamedclara @sh0ot1ngst4r @starrysho @lizbix @diearama @cherryredribbons @asuritam @tiramizuloz @saltypuffin1040 @burnishingbagels @beepbopzlorp @reezerdotcom @tibibibi123 @carneries @gumims @chososcamgirl @anngelllla @fefesooli @anngelllla @tiramizuloz @reezerdotcom @vrxouei @s3ns4ti0n4l

divider creds @/animatedglittergraphics-n-more

[sixth-light]

WoT 3x01-3x03 thoughts

Book spoilers aplenty! Cut for those and length because I had more to say than I thought.

These are basically random things that stood out to me, assume I really enjoyed all 3 episodes and think the show has really hit its stride as of this season, as someone who has enjoyed it from the start and is a book fan from way back.

I continue to just be deeply, deeply grateful that my very first early-teens fandom is giving me a big-budget adaptation which is almost perfectly tailored to my interests and tastes as a middle-aged queer woman - like, that certainly hasn't happened with other adaptations of stuff I've loved, I know this adaptation doesn't hit that way for everybody who loved WoT as a teen, but it is more or less perfect for me and what a profound gift that is.

On to random thoughts:

These people like each other!!! Possibly the key reason this show works so well for me is the script and cast sell 100% that these are people who like and care about each other, not just in the big moments but the little stuff. The platonic chemistry is so bonkers good across the whole main cast. There was a bit of tonal whiplash in 3x01 from big setpiece battle to People Just Chillin' but I am willing to forgive it because I love the Just Chillin' bits so much. Mat making a dick joke about the White Tower and Egwene/Rand/Nynaeve reacting perfectly in character? No notes.

Much has been said about that big setpiece battle because it's been out a while but I genuinely do appreciate a show that lets a bunch of middle-aged women go to town in mortal magical combat - it makes me think of that infamous anecdote about the MCU female actors being told to not move their faces in big fight scenes because it looked bad - this is like the polar opposite of that. Love it.

Controversial take but I do think the choice to only show one key part of Egwene's Accepted test was the right call. Doing a whole episode focused on Nynaeve's means we know how it works, and they did one very effective scene to ram home the key conflict for Egwene right now. They get eight hours a season, it's fine.

The bubble of evil (with the twist of Lanfear doing it with Moiraine's contrivance!!!) was so well done. I was a bit confused by Mat and Nynaeve's scene because as a book reader I fully expected the cards to attack him but on a second watch I don't think I would be. The axe cutting off Perrin's wedding ring???? goddamn.

I was spoiled (happily) for the Avilayne hook-up scene (!!!) and it is early for that, but I like that it was played very much as a hook-up where both parties would like to take it further if they get a chance but can't be in the same place right now, I think that's going to lead both to some sweet future romance and some very funny Elayne-Aviendha-Rand dynamics. If we ever get Aviendha extolling Elayne's skill in bed to Rand in an attempt to get them to hook up, or vice-versa, I will die (complimentary). MAKE IT HAPPEN R2J2.

They're really letting the weight of compounding trauma hang on all the main characters, not just Rand, and it's making the big fantasy arcs feel grounded. But also...oh, babies, you've got so much more to come.

I'm glad Moghedien is very effectively creepy (it is so easy to forget HOW creepy she is at the start) but I hate and am bored by torture scenes so like...less of that in future I hope, except we're getting Semirhage, so probably not less. Sigh.

The show continues to use book canon in such fun ways to create show-specific plots - in the books Morgase does come to Tar Valon to demand Elayne back and leaves Elaida behind, it creates a rift between Andor and the Tower, it just happens off-page and before Elayne returns. This is such smart re-writing!

Tsutama survived!!! I am obsessed with all the Red Ajah stuff, yes it's setting up for the Coup but it is also setting up for a Black Ajah Hunters/Asha'man Warders plotline and they've established Tsutama really clearly as a level-headed and reasonable Red sister. Whether she ends up standing in for all the 'good Reds' (mostly Teslyn and Pevara, maybe Silviana as well?) I don't know but I like that we've got an early start on that. Yes, I love all the minor Aes Sedai plotlines, no apologies.

Fascinated by how show!Elaida seems to have a very similar backstory to book Lelaine and Romanda - an older sister who had semi-retired but used to hold significant power, was an almost-but-not-quite Amyrlin Seat, and sees opportunity in a time of crisis. It will I think make either Lelaine or Romanda seem obvious foils for her and Egwene's position more obviously precarious.

The way the Waygate opens when not channelled open is fucking cool, the VFX have stepped up a level even on last season.

Also obsessed with the way they've done Rahvin's plot - the long pauses before Leane and Elayne are caught were perfect - and the way he's been positioned, in an extremely Hugh Jackman Magazine Cover way, as a powerful woman's dream later-life partner instead of the somewhat generic rapist of the books (who is nevertheless an accurate portrayal of a kind of man who specifically enjoys abusing powerful women). Book!Rahvin would have been way creepier with Elayne, show!Rahvin is cosplaying Best Stepdad with her even when he has all the cards. And this too is an accurate take on how abusers are good at showing a caring face to people they need on side. It's going to make the reveal much more insidious. Now regretting my former takes that show!Morgase needs to die. I think she probably will but it's going to be so awful.

RYMA ISN'T A DAMANE FUCK YEAH. NGL this was also necessary (along with Tsutama) to balance out the show's very real S1 colourism issue which casting Alviarin as another dark-skinned Black woman would otherwise have, uh, not helped with. I mean maybe she still dies in the Coup or something but at least she's alive and free now.

Elayne with that line about the novice rooms being small - lmao ok I know this is an exigency of TV sets where they can't be that small but that room is HUGE compared to the book descriptions, like twice the size of the Accepted rooms. I guess she's a princess but still.

Galad literally white knighting his way around the Tower - there is a Character Arc coming here, I think it will also be very significant that the cold open for 3x02 set up the precedent of the male relatives of the High Seats murdering them to make peace with Morgase and Trakand and we'll see an explicit plotline about the Whitecloaks intervening in the Succession. Anyway he's not pretty enough but he's exactly annoying enough and I'm ready for his full fall and rise arc. Gawyn...was also there? Sorry Gawyn fans I'm sure he'll get more of a glow-up once his love interest status comes into play.

Everything in Liandrin's plotline is building towards her getting murdered by Moghedien so Moggy can win that promotion to Nynaeve's #1 Enemy status. Given that she's already sent Grey Men after her twice I am currently betting on Liandrin dying to try and save Nynaeve and Nynaeve having to live with that (and being mad about it forever, like HOW DARE LIANDRIN DO THAT).

Shout-out to the Evil Glow-ups Nyomi and the other Black sisters got in Tanchico. Is it a bit silly? Yes. Is it also fun? Yes. The costuming is so good this season, it's always been good but it continues to be spectacular and a real and heartfelt thanks to the costume team for deciding that in this turning of the Wheel, even though it's a fantasy show, women can wear trousers. (Butch Tower servant disguise Min? Impeccable).

Lots of scenes straight from TDR/TSR, all very well-executed (Siuan and Mat a stand-out) but I have fewer notes on those simply because they're doing what already exists well, it's the new or changed things which excite me. If I want to read the books I can read the books. Which doesn't mean I don't want those key scenes done well but there's just less to say about them.

Final note: I can't believe Nyomi had a non-book-character name so they could hide she was Black Ajah, I fully thought it was so she could die in the Coup. Good job writers there. I hope she adopts some cats, though, Marillin and her cats constantly outing them is one of the funniest subplots of the whole Liandrin crew storyline because it's so deeply exactly what some real person would do.

[phantomarine]

Hey what were you trying to say in your “it gets good at page 1001” post

Was it more of a comment directed at yourself ( self degradation), is it satire about perfectionism,

Is it supposed to be inspirational for Beginners webcomic creators, or we’re you just in a bad mood?

More of a warning against self-sabotage, because I see it so much. Sometimes it's tied to perfectionism, sometimes it's the opposite - people surrendering to imperfection when they don't really have to.

Creator chat incoming. I'll put it under the deelybob for anyone who wants to read it 👇

I've been in the webcomic sphere for several years now and I've seen so many people introduce their comic with 'I know it's very long and not easy to read, and I won't be going back and changing anything about what I've already made - but please critique it so I can make the rest of the pages better and attract a bigger audience from now on.'

And that's a hard thing to respond to. If a reader can't get through all those existing pages without being confused or bored, then how can they get to the good stuff that lies past them?

So much of gaining an audience is about actively making it easy to 'fall into' a work. Without that easy entry point, it's always going to be an uphill battle to build an audience, no matter how good the later chapters get. There are outliers, but most webcomics won't be those outliers, especially with thousands of them available nowadays. Some people love the grind, but most people will jump to a new tab and try to find something less frustrating.

And webcomic creation is particularly cursed by its very nature. Creators are hesitant to go back and edit pages, even once they've figured out more details about their craft or story structure. It's mostly because of the seeming permanence of it all - the art takes ages and the words feel unchangeable if even one other person has read them. To go back and edit is to publicly admit your failings, right? That's how it feels. What do you MEAN you didn't get it right the first time? You were supposed to do it live, and do it PERFECTLY!

But ideally it shouldn't be any different than prose writing, which is ALL ABOUT finding the story in those edits. And because your story is digital, you can go back and change things whenever you feel like it. A webcomic is fluid.

And if you're thinking 'I should just redraw my whole first chapter' - NO! Hell no, old art can be a part of the appeal! It's far more about finding little tricks to convey your story/characters more clearly. I have read some first chapters with janky art that made me fall completely in love with the story and cast. It's not about the art - as with all things comic-related, it's about conveyance.

Examples I've seen and some I've used myself: A single extra page with a meaningful interaction can solidify the theme of a character's arc. One additional 5-to-10-page scene can help add visual context for an offscreen event where there was none before. Adding a map can tell people where the characters currently are. Changing a character design can help if they get often confused with another character. Redoing your lettering to make it more legible is a huge one too.

In the end, I just don't want people to be afraid of small edits. When I got feedback about the bad clarity of my own work, I knew it would take some time to fix those problems. It wasn't fun to think about or to do, but I'm glad I did it in the end - because it would have limited my audience tremendously. With just a bit of extra effort, I opened a door that wasn't there before, and it now leads more people even more easily to 'the good stuff.'

tl;dr You started your webcomic for a reason, and you're learning more things about its characters, story, and craft every day. Don't be afraid to go back to old pages and inject some of that wisdom through editing. Even a little can go a long way.

***Caveat: If your goal is to just create chaotically, with no goal of gaining an audience, you are a wild and free little thing, and I am in awe of you. This whole rant doesn't apply to you, and you are stronger than me.

[gleefultogo]

Page 856

Alright well, too no one's surprise that battle was beyond hella boring and nothing major actually happened, plus these raiders had the brain cells of a fucking fly by running past their enemies or whatever so ofc half of them got butchered. I don't know how kique gonna write up or draw en entire war scene if no one can do their jobs correctly. It'll most likely be lackluster just like this was. sooooo anyways. F your door dog, why the fuck is he even happy to see kargo at all? like wtf? did he have a 180 personality switch to? This mf was dead set on sending kargo for execution to the capital and told him to basically go screw himself by giving him a head-start to try and hide his way out of being captured. Honestly it's really confusing and makes that whole past page seem pointless if he was just gonna forgive him without a really given reason. though i'm not surprised that much because kique has done it before with character's for stupid reasons or none that don't make sense. moving forward, blah blah they are in their new territory and somehow raun is able to wrap vigr in bandages? no clue how he managed that but ight I guess.

also Raun (aka bootleg kargo) he grosses me out, he went too flirting with keirr too now very obviously flirting with vigr, which again mind you is a rapist. If kique is that dumb too put these two together its gonna make him look even worse. Plus isn't raun like aware that he's from MT? they are neighbors after all and have been around for a long time. also broken ribs huh? To be honest that panel of him didn't look that forceful enough to even have broken ribs in my honest opinion. he also would not be able to talk in complete sentences and probably be in certain positions other than laying down to heal which takes a long time. and that's about it really, ferah's face looks like someone took a hot iron too it and I just dont give a shit about rogio lol

[vote-gaara]

Why didn't you like Gaara Hiden?

My feelings for Gaara Hiden are complicated.

Oh, and if you haven't read the English Translations here they are. Someone formatted it from the Tumblr post that was originally on Cacatua's blog.

Now what was I saying?

Oh yes, my feelings for Gaara Hiden...Complicated. Very, very very complicated. I don't hate the story, but I don't really like it either.

Now before I absolutely lampoon this novel, here are some things I do liked about it:

Gaara content in which he stayed in character!

The story was more or less unnecessary (more on this later).

Gaara's fixation on how Naruto saved him took a back seat to other things going on, which was a breath of fresh air as it allowed the story to focus on other aspects of Gaara's life.

Sand sibling interactions are always welcome :)

Socially awkward Gaara is amazing, especially around romantic themes. Also, we love when Gaara can go off about his hobbies.

Strong things I dislike about the novel:

Gaara came across as really cold which irritated me, but also didn't surprise me. Gaara is a really complex character to write. He's simultaneously sassy, pessimistic and a bit of a meanie while turning around and being the most genuine, wholesome and inspirational character you would ever get to know. I'm not even saying Gaara was out of character, because they did a really good job of keeping him pretty true to who he is, but I wished the novel would have forced him to interact with other people as a normal person, rather than as Kazekage, which the entire book proceeded to do and thus we lost out on seeing Gaara's true personality. Like the book handled him floundering with Hakuto really well, but how he treated Shijima in comparison was just...Not good. It was boring. BORING! It was like watching a coworker talking to their boss the entire time, which just did not make for good reading and Shijima ended up coming across as very flat as a result. And I KNOW this is because they were on a mission, I KNOW they were just being "shinobi" but...like....I just wanted more of the genuine, good and wholesome "Gaara trying to interact with people" rather than "Gaara being Kazekage and acting like Kazekage and everyone treats him like he's the Kazekage."

We learned that Temari and Kankuro took a backseat in Gaara's life - The book did Kankuro dirty more than Temari. After I read the scene when Gaara and Kankuro are talking (which was like half a page long), and it said something like "this was the longest conversation Gaara had had with his brother in 6 months" I could not describe the amount of anger I felt. I know the sand siblings are busy, but 6 MONTHS???? WHAT??

Kazekage Clan - Crap. Crap, crap, crap and utter garbage. I think I wrote about this in a different post (on one of my other blogs, maybe? I don't remember now) but the "Kazekage clan" pretty much vetoed any meaning behind Gaara's speech to Kankuro when Gaara was like "I want to become Kazekage one day." In the beginning of the series, a person could've figured that becoming Kazekage would operate a lot like becoming Hokage, where only the strongest, smartest and most hardworking individual was selected, and that working towards that title was something not to be taken lightly. Assuming this, when you look at Gaara's speech to Kankuro, where he's professing that he wants to become special to others, to repair and heal the damage and pain he caused, and to connect to others, you imagine that Gaara has nothing but this treacherous, mountainous, up-hill battle to fight...Not only is it difficult to become Kazekage, but as Kankuro put it "the jonin don't think highly of you and people are as scared of you as ever." It had meaning to it. It meant that there was a lot at stake. And because of that, it meant so much when you discovered that Gaara did become Kazekage....But then oops, they just ruined that by making the position a family title. It just cheapened the whole thing, and it made no sense as to why Gaara tried so hard in the first place if it was just gonna be passed down to him anyways, since his siblings weren't interested in the title....Idk, just felt like it ruined any meaning behind Gaara's character development which just gutted me cause WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT???

The story was pointless - Okay, so I'm kinda thankful the story was pointless because I was hoping Gaara would remain single. (I know, I know, I KNOW and I'm sorry. Gaara deserves that romantic love, but also it's kind nice to have him be an ace/aro icon too). I just think it was realistic for him to just be by himself and to find happiness doing whatever Gaara does. HOWEVER, I also have a thing where I'm like...."Why tell a story that serves no purpose?" Which sounds so mean, and maybe it is, because I love any and all Gaara content, but also I don't know if I really got anything from this novel, either? Like it didn't develop Gaara's character and he was pretty much...stagnant the whole time, which is an interesting way to write a story. They could have gone in so many directions that would've had Gaara learn how to interact with people and to connect with others on a more personal level....Small changes that wouldn't have even been very hard to disprove in canon, but instead Gaara just....didn't change the whole time. He didn't learn anything and he just....was.

All the "gotcha" moments - Plot twists are only clever when there's proper foreshadowing (in my opinion). A lot of the "And then Gaara revealed that he knew about the person following him/the betrayal/the setup/the motive the whole time!!" was just....so....um...not good. It just felt like I was the constant victim of an ass-pull the whole time. In fact, the only plot twist/reveal the novel did well was unveiling that Gaara and Kankuro were in cahoots the whole time about Kankuro trying to take over being Kazekage, and believe it or not, that was because the novel took the time to set that up. They made you pay attention to it with relevant details. Meanwhile, in the end scene where Gaara stabs that dude that had apparently been following them the whole time just was a giant wtf to me, honestly lol. I was halfway expecting a T-Rex to burst from the earth crust and Santa clause to rain down from the sky just randomly, because why not at that point if we're just gonna make stuff up willy nilly? IDK maybe I'm wrong and maybe I missed some clever writing in it, but mostly I was just kinda underwhelmed.

That being said, Gaara content is Gaara content, so I am obligated to like Gaara hiden.

[ilynpilled]

Do u believe that Jaime might kill Cersei and then himself at the end of the series? I saw other page theorizing about him killing himself as a final act or something like that…

i think about jaime and suicide a lot bc i do think it is a permeating theme with him in many ways, and he does do a lot of passive suicidal ideation. he is one of the characters who does not fear death really and is reckless in a way that it is clear that part of him seems drawn to it because of his existential dread. idk bc the thing is that i do think that “what else can i do, but die?” passage indicates the opposite of an ending with suicide specifically, and i think there are themes relevant to him here that i think are more likely to be followed through rather than be tragically rejected:

nonetheless, theres a certain part of me that is morbidly drawn to him succumbing to despair anyway. like if he dies with valonqar, i think thats the only way i would actually like it. i was never someone that felt particularly moved by the “poetry” or “irony” of dying together because i always thought all of that is much richer if it is treated as desperate self affirming delusion that is bound to collapse. and we already see jaime reject dying with her once. there is a visible degree of acceptance of their fates not being entwined that is not feigned bc he did actually leave her to her fate and no longer feels the obligation to die with her, pretty clearly juxtaposed with his mindset in asos where he revolves his life around her “needing” him, and ofc cersei’s own desperate narrative rn. and i think george writing it so they can die exactly at the same time doesnt just feel unrealistic but also would hurt the weight of the scene to me because it would give me no aftermath. a wall falls on them both? valonqar doesnt even happen then. jaime killing cersei and then a wall falls on him or some shit? whats the point? double suicide? where is the ‘betrayal’ and irony and subversion of the jc dynamic’s narrative? cersei’s mindset is proven right. cersei kills him? idk if that works with cersei’s tragedy/betrayal/shock + how would she? he’s injured from something else and makes sure to bring down cersei with him? ig, still feel eh about it. if it happens, i wouldnt feel that much about anything thats not an actual suicide after a murder. and even then, it would make more sense for jaime to attempt suicide by rushing into the nearest battle/suicide mission based on his established characterization. that is the type of act that would be in character rather than just falling on a sword then and there ig. u can argue that the choice itself of him going back can be framed as a suicide attempt where he wants to go down with a sinking ship bc he thinks thats what he deserves, and ofc depending on when this happens the city might be beyond saving already, but still, the execution and circumstances matter to me. i also obviously dont want it framed as him being unable to live without cersei. i find that reductive of his character and boring on top of kind of incongruent bc he already made that choice of key separation once. he already proved himself capable of treating their lives as not entwined. i would only like suicide if it was about a complicated and ingrained sense of failure over not being able to triumph over reckoning with the world and the self (this is what makes the light go out in the weirwood dream too. cersei leaving is not where it ends), esp bc i assume the whole thing is playing on history repeating itself in the most ironic and dark way imaginable. ofc a bigger part of me wants triumph over that this time and for that flaming sword that he gave brienne to still burn and provide light in “his darkness”, replacing cersei’s torch that she takes with her in the dream as she joins tywin and joffrey and the lannister ancestors and leaves jaime in “the dark”, to represent some deeper purpose also embodied by brienne that allows him to continue past this point (the flames will burn as long as you live when they die so must you), and i also think it works better in a lot of ways. i have talked about widow’s wail currently being in the red keep, the twin swords set up, twftd foreshadowing, how i interpret the prophecies in the weirwood dream and how it works with the past and future etc, even how it all comes together thematically when it concerns knighthood and the cynicism/idealism synthesis. but still, a part of me is attracted to that kind of painful tragedy. im fairly open to a lot of things in general if they are not halfbaked and incongruent and dont make me feel empty in a bad way on top of being unsatisfied. but yeah, when thinking about the narrative as a whole, idk how it could work in a way that id like based on all that i have read.

to me, theres too much cost in terms of set ups, unless it happens at the very end of the story ig. but how would that work logistically? and when and how would he acquire widow’s wail? that sword’s a chekhovs gun for twftd that i think jaime has the most foreshadowing and set up with. what else would he do at the red keep? why put him there again when this part of the story could be wrapped up? like theres a certain order of events that seems to work and make the established pieces fall together much better in my head, but ofc i could be wrong.

[indigowallbreaker]

Dimiashe Week Day 5: Stargazing

This one is short enough to just post on its own. But if you wanna leave kudos/a comment, it's also posted on my ao3 page! Almost with my other Dimiashe week content! :D

Includes:

Pre-Time Skip

Pre-Relationship

Kisses o3o

--

It was hard not to look at the night sky while camping. The smoke from the fire curled up into the darkness and your eye was drawn to the movement. Because of this— because Dimitri kept trying to catch his eye— Ashe found himself staring up when the star flew overhead.

"Oh!" 

Beside him, Mercedes turned in alarm. "What's wrong?"

"A shooting star!" Ashe pointed to the sky somewhat redundantly. "I saw a shooting star!"

Flayn looked up, hands clasped in delight. "How lovely! Don't forget to make your wish!"

A wish. Ashe frowned in thought, lowering his gaze to the fire. He could wish for the safety of his siblings, or a drier march back to Garreg Mach in the morning, or even a Blue Lion victory in the Battle of the Eagle and Lion next week. However...

Two deep blue eyes were boring into him, and had been since they set up camp. Ashe gulped. Right now, the only thing Ashe wanted above all else was for Dimitri to forget what he'd done during the bandit fight today. 

Ashe looked to the stars and thought with all his might— I wish Prince Dimitri would forget I kissed him.

Another star shot through the sky. Ashe's heart leapt into his throat even as Flayn cried, "Ah! I saw that one!"

"There's another!" Sylvain cocked his head. "Huh. There's a few actually."

"Meteor shower," Professor Byleth stated, holding out their empty dinner plate to Annette.

Annette spooned them more meat from the cookpot and laughed. "Wishes for everyone!"

As one, the Blue Lion class lifted their heads to the sky and made their wishes. All except Ashe, who felt one wish was more than enough for him. He watched his classmates instead— some put their hands together as if praying, some mouthed to themselves, and some simply stared upwards stoically. Even Dimitri was looking at the shooting stars. It made a peaceful scene, and Ashe smiled in the silence, wondering what everyone was wishing for.

Then Dimitri abruptly caught Ashe’s eye. Ashe gulped. He all but jumped from his seat and declared, “I’m going to check on my bow strings,” before marching away from the fire. No one paid him much mind as he ducked into his tent. 

Once there, Ashe put a hand to his rapidly beating heart. How could one moment of eye contact do that much to him? He breathed out slowly, trying to calm himself so he could return and have dinner. 

But the events of the day kept replaying in his mind’s eye. Dimitri pressing Ashe against a tree to let the bandit leader pass by them. Dimitri watching as the man moved away, whispering to Ashe to wait in case he doubled back. Dimitri tilting his head and asking if Ashe was alright. Dimitri standing beautifully in the autumn sunlight as Ashe surged forward to kiss him. Dimitri blinking owlishly when Ashe quickly pushed him away so he could ready an arrow for the rapidly approaching footsteps. 

It hadn’t taken long for Ashe to regret his actions. Apart from his horrible timing, you couldn’t just go around kissing princes! No matter how often you had been thinking about it! Ashe ran both hands over his face. Now Dimitri wouldn’t stop trying to get him alone, doubtless so he could reprimand Ashe on his inappropriate behavior. Maybe it would be easier for Ashe to transfer to a different class altogether. 

Even from inside the tent, Ashe could hear the laughter of the other Blue Lions, talking about wishes and poking fun at one another. No, Ashe couldn’t leave them. He’d simply have to find the courage to face Dimitri someday.

“Ashe.”

Ashe yelped and spun around. Dimitri himself was pushing his way through the tent flap, expression stone.

“H-Hi, your Highness. I was just coming back. I-It looks like my bow is fine after all!”

“Ashe, I have given today a great deal of thought.”

“That’s good! Do you think we’re ready for the Eagle and Lion? I think today went pretty well—”

“Do you want to know what I wished for just now?”

Ashe gulped again. “Well… They say if you tell someone your wish, then it won’t come true.”

Dimitri’s lip twitched in an almost smile. “I am willing to take that risk,” he said, stepping closer.

It took all of Ashe’s willpower not to step backwards. He let Dimitri move closer and closer, looking into those determined eyes he had been avoiding all evening. “What did you wish for?” He asked quietly.

Dimitri put a hand to Ashe’s cheek. “I wished you would kiss me again.”

Ashe covered that hand with his own. Tentatively, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against Dimitri, and Dimitri returned the pressure— and it was instantly better than the kiss Ashe had stolen in the forest. This one was slow. This one made Ashe’s eyes fall shut. This one came with Dimitri cupping the back of Ashe’s head and letting out a small sigh.

When they naturally pulled apart, Ashe didn’t stop the wide, giddy smile that stole his face.

Dimitri chuckled, running a thumb under Ashe’s lips. “You look so happy.”

“My dream didn’t come true.” 

Before Dimitri could make him explain that, Ashe pressed close once again and kissed his puzzled frown.

[literaryvein-reblogs]

How to make a fic or writing longer how to add stuff without making it boring

Writing Ideas: Adding Details to your Story

Keep engaging the reader every few pages. Do not spend the first act introducing your characters. Let the reader discover your characters as they are catapulted into the concept. Let the reader learn their motivations and arcs as they are bombarded by the conflict that you are hopefully throwing them into from the get-go. Let there be a mystery to it. Why show your whole hand when you can keep a reader invested and engaged by slowly peeling away the layers of the character as they deal with the conflict and overall concept? Continue to build and build and build, whether it’s with the laughs, the drama, the screams, the mystery, the thrills, the action, etc. Offer as many twists and turns as you can. Lead that reader towards something, only to pull the rug out from underneath them just when they feel that they know where you’re going with it.

The HCM Plotting Method

List the Heart-Clutching Moments you’ve already thought of—you know, those pivotal points in your story that will evoke all the intensity of that “look behind you!” response in your readers.

Think of more.

Construct your story around them. Don’t focus on your loosely formed storyline. Focus on the key points in your story.

What Is an HCM? Some examples:

Love at first sight (Marius Pontmercy meets Cosette)

A huge moral lapse (Judas takes the money)

Murder (Miles Archer’s sets Sam Spade in motion)

Death by other means (Injun Joe starves to death in the cave)

A refusal of grace (Mayella Ewell sticks to her story in spite of taking the courtroom oath)

Nature gone wild (shark dines on first recreational swimmer)

Someone standing up to corruption (Shane picks up his gun again)

A change of heart, for good or ill (Michael Corleone offers to kill Sollozzo and Captain McCluskey)

An act of depraved violence (Bill Sykes cudgels Nancy)

Betrayal (Sandy puts a stop to her mentor Jean Brodie)

Forgiveness (Melanie insists Scarlett join her in the receiving line)

A revelation (Pip’s secret benefactor is none other than … !)

HCMs can be active, whole scenes. Some examples:

A lifesaving attempt

A chase

A battle

A seduction

A caper

Make a list of Heart-Clutching Moments and put them on index cards in rough order. Then you can build an outline based on any form you desire, be it classical drama, farce, or anything in between. If you get stuck, do any of the following:

Start writing one of your HCM scenes. Immediately the scene itself should prompt ideas, perhaps for new courses of action or even new characters.

Write deeper into an HCM scene you’ve written already. You’ll likely find yourself coming up with bridges between scenes—and thinking of more elements to enhance your story.

Look for places to add conflict, suffering, or frustration.

Example: Shakespeare wanted to take Macbeth from conquering hero to murderous traitor whose decapitation at the hands of one of his countrymen is the only possible, imaginable end.

How does he do it? Reread the play and you’ll realize that one HCM leads to the next, fast and furious: The witches’ stunning prophecies, Macbeth’s realization that he could be king, his wife’s corrupt ambition, one murder, two more murders, and more upon that, and prophesy again, and insanity, and suicide … all in the space of 98 pages!

Introduce a ticking clock. A ticking clock is an important element that ramps up pressure on your characters and piques your readers’ curiosity as to how your protagonist can possibly succeed. Set up big promises and obstacles early in a narrative and layer in a time crunch to make a character’s predicament seem dire.

Weave subplots into your narrative. Use subplots effectively to add variety and texture to your narrative and explore characters and backstory. When used well, subplots can artfully pose and answer key questions and flesh out characters.

Add dramatic irony. Dramatic irony is one of the many literary devices that can keep your reader engaged and increase the suspense. If a reader is aware of impending plot points that your characters are not, you can foreshadow plot twists and raise questions in your reader’s mind as to how your characters will deal with the trouble that lies ahead.

Invest in the details. Good writing generally contains sensory details and specific observations that remind readers of real life. A longer story can be much more powerful and less boring with detailed descriptions of the environment in which it takes place.

Open loops. This expands a bit on the idea of hooks and page-turning chapter endings, but the concept here is much broader. Basically the idea is to open boxes … and then take your sweet time in getting around to closing them. If you’re interested in a situation and the story cuts that situation off without resolving it, you’ll do that OH COME ON thing and then keep reading. You can’t rest until you close the loop. So if the story is well-told, you’ll just keep looking for that dropped loop … even if it takes chapters to pay off. It takes many chapters to find out what did happen, and your readers just keep blasting through them, cursing us all the while.

Relentless pacing. Take your time and meander when writing your book. What happens, happens, and try not to rush it. Characters talk and the reader learns plot points. On the contrary, let your readers keep asking, “What happens next?” The answer to that question needs to be exciting. Threatening. Maybe violent. Don't let your characters have much time to catch their breath, because the goal is to keep your readers breathless.

Learning from the Classics. Some Examples:

Armadale by Wilkie Collins, 1864 - Armadale was regarded by author T.S. Eliot as "the best of [his] romances" and includes Lydia Gwilt, a character considered as one of the most astonishing wicked female villains in literature. Drawing on scandalous newspaper headlines, Collins creates a story of confused identities, inherited curses, romantic rivalries, espionage, and murder – making for an action-packed 752 pages.

Les Misérables by Victor Hugo, translated by Norman Denny, 1862 - Adapted into one of the most successful musicals of all time, Les Misérables’ running time in London’s West End is an impressive 2 hours 50 minutes. But for a more immersive experience, try the original novel – a full 1,232 pages of injustice, heroism, and love in 19th-century France.

The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, 1846 - (1,240 pages) On the day of his wedding, Edmond Dantes, master mariner, is arrested in Marseille on trumped-up charges and spirited away to the cellars of the Chateau d'If, an impregnable sea fortress in which he is imprisoned indefinitely. Escaping from the chateau by a series of daring manoeuvres, he unearths a great treasure on the island of Monte Cristo, buried there by a former fellow prisoner who bequeaths to him the secret of its whereabouts. Thus armed with unimaginable wealth and embittered by his long imprisonment, he resolves to devote his life to tracking down and punishing those responsible.

Ulysses by James Joyce, 1922 - It is one thing to write a novel of 1,040 pages, but quite another to dedicate the entire page count to one single day. Ulysses follows characters Stephen Dedalus, Leopold Bloom and his wife Molly across a day in their lives in 1904 Dublin. Dedalus and Bloom, who are are unaware of each other, are trying to find a missing loved one: the former, his long-lost father, and Bloom, despite being childless, for a son.

War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy, 1869 - (1,225 pages) At a glittering society party in St Petersburg in 1805, conversations are dominated by the prospect of war. Terror swiftly engulfs the country as Napoleon's army marches on Russia, and the lives of three young people are changed forever. The stories of quixotic Pierre, cynical Andrey and impetuous Natasha interweave with a huge cast, from aristocrats and peasants to soldiers and Napoleon himself. In War and Peace, Tolstoy entwines grand themes - conflict and love, birth and death, free will and faith - with unforgettable scenes of nineteenth-century Russia, to create a magnificent epic of human life in all its imperfection and grandeur.

Sources: 1 2 3 4 5 ⚜ More: Notes ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs ⚜ On Pacing

Here are some tips and ideas I found from different sources. Choose which ones you would like to incorporate in your story. Hope this helps with your writing!

[pink-pages]

The Bone Spindle

Warning: Spoiler Alert

You know the whole “kicking your feet, giggling” thing? That was me reading this book. I absolutely ADORE fairytale retellings and I haven’t read many fairytale retellings of Sleeping Beauty (only one, Winter from the Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer) and I certainly haven’t read a gender bent one!!! I also haven’t read one with a sapphic romance anywhere in it (which is a bonus point for this one).

The biggest problem I had with Sleeping Beauty as a fairytale was that there was no consent for the kiss. The whole “astral projecting prince” thing was a really good work around. I also noticed some small details from both the Disney Sleeping Beauty movie and other fairytales and even other Disney versions of those fairytales. In Disney’s Sleeping Beauty, Aurora and Prince Philip danced while Philip was wearing a red cape and hat; in The Bone Spindle, Fi dances with Briar while he’s wearing a red highwayman costume. Rapunzel is all about a girl trapped in a tower; the story from Andar that Fi tells about the moon involves a girl locked in a tower. In Disney’s Rapunzel, Eugene flips out because the people drawing his wanted posters can’t get his nose right; in The Bone Spindle, Shane is upset that the wanted posters drew her wrong. Little Red Ridinghood is about a girl wearing red who is tricked by a wolf; in The Bone Spindle, Red’s signature color is red (a bit obvious) and she can control wolf-like creatures.

When it comes to the writing itself, I love how complicated all the character’s backstories were. I also love how Vedder was able to show the backstories instead of telling them through the various flashbacks woven (puninted) throughout the book. I can’t imagine how difficult it must have been to pair different pieces of memory up with different events happening in the current time and then segue into them; much less manage to make it so all the flashbacks fit into the length of the book. I do have a hard time believing that Fi and Shane are only 17 and 18 respectively. I mean, Fi’s lived enough life to have made it to the top of the treasure hunting circuit and then been retired for a year and Shane’s been running around swinging that battle axe long enough to have a life before running away, one as a mercenary, and one after the Paper Witch.

Along with the pacing and placement of the flashbacks, I also loved the pacing of the book itself. I get kind of bored reading books that spend too much time on long dry descriptions or events that are inconsequential to the plot. A paragraph or two is a good description length, no one wants to read two pages of a turtle crossing the road (I’m looking at you, Grapes of Wrath). In The Bone Spindle, there was always something happening, even when there wasn’t. There was no filler, every scene had a purpose and was interesting in some way, full of witty banter or riveting action sequences. The only thing I don’t like about the pacing is that sometimes time skips between scenes are a bit disorienting. I’d definitely take that over filler scenes any day, though.

Another thing I love about The Bone Spindle is it’s dialogue, both internal and external. When it comes to external dialogue, I love the interactions between characters. I love the bickering between Fi and Shane and the odd flirtation going on between Briar and Fi. When it comes to internal dialogues, I love how in their POV chapters, the characters all have their own ways of thinking of things and describing them. Briar’s POV chapters are kind of wistful and nostalgic, Fi’s are full of practicality and power of head over heart, and Shane’s are very blunt and forward.

The romances also feel very true to character. Personally, I like Briar and Fi’s romance. I like romances that are based on a foundation of friendship and trust. Ones that aren’t instalove and take time to develop. That’s the kind of romance I want in my life. Red and Shane’s romance is much more whirlwind. It’s dangerous. It’s intense. It’s based on mystery and excitement. I personally don’t like it because I don’t like romances that don’t have a solid foundation. It’s perfect for Shane, though, and helps characterize her perfectly.

I’m going to get a little English Lit major on you here (even though I’m not an English Lit major). I really like the way every detail of The Bone Spindle contribute to the theme of time and the idea that you can’t change the past, all you can do is move on and live in the present/future. Do you dwell on the fall of Andar by continuing to hunt witches or do you use the ruins to gain things for the future like knowledge or goods? Do you keep living in the shadow of your past romance with Armand or do you take a chance on the future with Briar? Do you sulk about all the bad things you’ve done in the past or do you take that job offered by the Paper Witch and let him help you turn your life around? Do you choose the Spindle Witch who rescued you in the past or Shane who genuinely cares about you and wants to protect you in the future?

Characters

Fi: Fi is so autistic coded. I say this as an autistic person. She thinks about feelings logically. She has a hard time understanding social cues. She has a hard time making friends. She has special interests (magic and history). I can honestly relate to Fi a little bit. I understand what it’s like trying to make friends in a neurotypical world, having to think about your feelings to determine them, and I understand having a secret that you feel like you can’t tell anyone that’s slowly eating you up inside. That being said, she is not my favorite character. To be clear, I like Fi. She’s just not my favorite.

Shane: Shane might be my favorite character, right next to Briar on that. I absolutely love butch lesbian characters. I also love how open she is, at least compared to Fi and Red (and most YA characters, to be honest). Her chapters are also pretty fun to read because of her character. I think it was really the ball that won me over on her. Acting like a mannerless gremlin out of spite and calling Briar a pile of haunted clothes were pretty great. I was a bit annoyed at her for falling for Red so quickly, though. But Shane is definitely an agent of chaos and I love agents of chaos.

Briar: I really like Briar. I like his flirting with Fi. I like how protective he is of her. I like how he refuses to be anything like Armand. I especially like how non-toxic of a love interest he is. Briar is something of a romantic. I like that cause I’m like that, too only I’m not just something of a romantic, I’m a hopeless romantic. He also gives little brother vibes. His little breakdown at the end about not wanting to be alone honestly broke my heart. I was actually happy when things went sideways cause it meant he still got to be with Fi.

Red: I actually read a little spoiler before I read the book that mentioned that Red was one of the antagonists (that’s a lot of reds/reads), so I knew she was going to turn on them and was working for the Spindle Witch. Oops. That made me dislike her automatically, but if my opinion hadn’t been colored by that spoiler, I imagine she might have been one of my favorite characters. I tend to like female characters who kick ass while also being feminine and pretty. I can’t make too many judgements on her now, though, because the book doesn’t tell us much about her. I’m looking forward to learning more in the next two books, though.

[whatcha-reading-today]

Quicksilver | Callie Hart (and the commodification of romantasy)

This felt like someone took notes while reading ACOTAR and then played madlibs with all the main plot points.

I somehow wrote over 3000 words on my feelings on both Quicksilver and the romantasy genre so I'm going to put that below the break.

Here are our plot points so you can play at home:

Our main girl suffers and does not have parents. (Could also be vague, and a parent could show up in a later book for plot reasons). She does have siblings and possibly a friend or two. She has to steal/bargain/hunt to survive.

1b. Our main girl is ‘plain’ but has a ‘pretty face’. She’s conventionally attractive, white with brown hair that is very long and healthy even though she’s starving etc.

2. Magic, which either does not exist or has not been seen for a long time in the world, results in our FMC isekai-ing to another world.

2b. A very hot fantasy man, who is tall, has raven black hair and green/blue/silver eyes is there to facilitate the portaling.

3. Exposition dump: there's a war that's been happening for a long time (like centuries) and our FMC is the chosen one, our Luke Skywalker/Aang, who is integral to saving the world. Don’t forget to set up the world so people have an idea of what’s happening, I guess. There should be fae, humans, possibly a few more assorted fantasy creatures of your choosing, just remember to make the magic stuff tragic to our MMC.

4. Our FMC (who is very plain and has never washed her hair and only wears pants) and our MMC banter for 100ish pages. They are forced to work together related to the war/conflict laid out in step 3.

4b. More exposition related to our MMC. He is royalty but rejects it for tragic reasons. He’s gruff and annoys the FMC. But she also admits he’s smokin’ hot.

5. FMC does chosen one things, displays some kind of amazing uber power that hasn’t been seen before, or is the most clever.

6. Advance the plot forward, there should be some greater threat or one of the side characters is kidnapped or wounded because of the war.

7. FMC and MMC banter some more.

8. Depending on the spice level, the main characters either boink or kiss.

9. Final battle time. As a result of the final battle, bad guy, or other such event, FMC is transformed from boring human to uber powerful fantasy creature.

10. FMC is now the government.

Here are some things you should include:

Terms: Fae, male/female (for that dose of bioessentialism), cocks should 'spring free', breasts should be 'bound' during the daytime, pull your sex scene dialogue from 2014 Tumblr/AO3 for added cringe for your elders. Talk about people’s ‘orbs’, straight up quote the style of My Immortal (Hi my name is Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee).

Make sure you have a phrase like: “To the stars who listen— and the dreams that are answered.” In Quicksilver we have: “For those who live their nightmares so that others may have their dreams.”

Don't forget about: shadow powers, growling, biting, fated mates, and for the audiobook, get Anthony Palmini to voice the Shadow Daddy. Everyone should smell something like smoke, earth, pine, and ozone. I remember reading a Thor fanfic a million years ago where he smelled like 'the Earth after it was struck by lightning' and honestly, if you want people to be stinky, they should smell like things like that.

When writing your Shadow Daddy, he should first of all have shadow powers that freak people out but is actually very sexy. Bonus points if he can use his shadow powers during the sex scenes. He should of course be very tall (like past 6ft), be brooding and dark, come packed with a tragic past tied to the conflict of the book, and be sassy. Our FMC should hate him (but recognize he’s hot) and then once she meets his friends realize he’s actually super nice. He also, of course, should be at least 1000 years old but act like he’s in his mid-20s. Oh, and there should be threats of or actual sexual violence against our MMC. The violence against Rhys is referenced thoroughly in ACOTAR, with Rhysand’s sexual slavery a major plot point in book 2. Here it feels like a throwaway line of yes the vampire king totally assaulted Kingfisher for about 50ish years.

When writing your FMC she should be plain, wear her hair in a braid, but actually be conventionally attractive. She should have some talent like hunting, or using a bow and arrow, or parkour-ing like in Assassin’s Creed. Whatever talent she has is different from her Luke Skywalker superpower needed for fantasy reasons, and whatever talent you gave her at the start should vanish midway through the series. Like in ACOTAR, Feyre is a good hunter and just seems to forget halfway through the book series. Here, Saeris is a thief and does very little thievery after the intro where she falls into a portal.

More specific thoughts on Quicksilver:

This book is fine and has a lot of elements that do work in the genre. But it desperately needed an editor. First, there were a surprising number of grammatical errors (I listened to the audiobook, so I can't comment on typos on page) that should have been caught.

Second, there were some issues with plotting and characterization. In terms of characterization, I found Saeris oddly and unevenly plotted. She is supposed to be either Aladdin or Han Solo with a devil may care attitude, but she spends large swaths of the books as a mothering, confused dum dum. Her motivation was inconsistent and unclear. She tells us up front I want to save my brother, kind of fucks that up, and then we don't hear about the brother for 80% of the book. So ok, then her motivation is to...be with Fisher? Go home to do what exactly? Back to being a blacksmith? This poor characterization ends up causing other problems when it comes to the plot structure.

When I think about plotting in any book but especially a fantasy there are two major considerations; worldbuilding and set up for the climax. The world building here is shockingly telling. And I mean telling. Saeris asks other characters to tell her what’s going on and they tell her. It’s some of the laziest exposition dumping I’ve seen since the Princess Leia hologram in CC book 3.

I also think this was a mistake to write this in first person perspective exclusively from Saeris’s POV. The author clued us in on things far too bluntly or explained things that Saeris should not have known. These are things that could have been caught by a good editor to make things a bit more subtle, or by changing this to third person OR having Saeris share narration duties with someone else. I’m a big fan of dual perspectives in fantasy as it’s a way to more subtly world build when one of our main characters doesn’t know anything. There are a lot of romantasies and fantasies that do this well, like the Villains and Virtues trilogy or the Song of Ice and Fire series. Our different characters know things that others don’t. We get that insight and then can see how each of the other characters react when they learn some explosive piece of information.

In terms of the setup and payoff, there were places where the narration kind of failed. For example, when Saeris and crew are in the library and someone asks about siblings and one of our side characters is like side eyeing Fisher and looking at him longingly, I already know the twist here. This also displays a lack of trust for the reader. I hate that this has become a trend to make everything so obvious because the reader might be, I don’t know, solving math problems while they’re listening to a book. Reading should require some brain power. Trust readers to put it together on their own. This does, however, require a good set up so the payoff feels earned in the third act. Because of the structure here, there are no surprises and things like, ‘my mommy left a magic book for me that told me everything that is going to happen’ just feels out of left field.

Consent, Sexual Content, and Violence

I’m not going to put this behind a spoiler wall but I think there are some weird things in romantasy books around sex. Yes, this is an adult book series so sex is an expectation of the genre. However, I think the negotiation of what sex looks like is always a bit of a question. This section also discusses sexual violence so if that isn’t for you, skip to the next section.

First, in many romantasies, our FMC is like 19 and has never even masturbated, let alone had sex. She relies on the older, more powerful, more experienced MMC to guide her through sex for the most mind-blowing orgasm of her life. Now, here’s the thing if you’ve never orgasmed in your life, the one our MMC is responsible for is of course the best one you’ve ever had. This framing removes the FMC’s agency. I actually liked in Quicksilver where Saeris tells us she masturbated thinking of Fisher (which should have just been on page, but oh well). It gives her some agency that she finds him attractive. I also liked that she’s 24 and has had sex before so using sex more carnally aligns with her character.

I’m also not opposed to characters being intimate before falling in love. That can be employed to have other complications or implications for our characters. For example, our characters have sex but still don’t really see eye to eye on an issue, ok, let’s negotiate what that looks like. An excellent example is Alexandra Rowland’s Yield Under Great Persuasion which opens with our characters having sex. One of our leads is a heinous dick and is convinced he doesn’t like the other lead. This whole miscommunication and misinterpretation are the drive of the entire book.

There can be some interesting conversations around sex, control, kink, and domination but it’s hard for me to root for two characters when one of them is so inexperienced and the power dynamic is so vast. Fisher tells Saeris that he could kill her if he fucked her the way he wanted. That’s insane and could be hot if they negotiated how they could safely have sex without his meat murdering her. For example, in A Fate Inked in Blood our FMC puts herself in control by cowgirling our MMC. By putting herself in such a position, it reinforces her character as someone strong and dominant and works to negotiate the power play between the leads. Sex should act as a way of reinforcing our characters and their actions. It’s fun set dressing too, but it needs to serve a purpose to propel the story forward.

I did appreciate that when Saeris and Fisher had sex for like the second or third time, he does check with her that she’s absolutely down to clown. I recently read Him by Elle Kennedy and Sarina Bowen, and the two MMCs negotiate every time they have sex. Those conversations are so critical and serve to reinforce the connection between the characters. It’s something I’d like to see more of in the romantasy genre. Sex can be an expectation of the genre, but it should tell us more about the characters.

Something that shows up in fantasy that should be discussed is sexual violence, whether as a threat or actual event. I’m not advocating for the removal entirely from books. I just think how it’s handled or used to explore a character can be…less than desirable. I find that sometimes, rape, especially against men is a gotcha moment or a way to make our invulnerable MMC vulnerable. It can feel like a cruel twist especially when it’s perpetrated by a man on another man. And yes, duh, this is a heinous thing to do, but like in Quicksilver, it’s used to emphasize that the Vampire King is incredibly evil. I got that though, from the murders and shit and didn’t need a surprise that the MMC was assaulted.

In ACOTAR, Rhysand’s sexual slavery is a major point of book 2 and something Rhys must accept and move beyond. Now, do I think he and Feyre recover a bit too quickly from their respective heinous shit? Yes. But it is something Rhys discusses with Feyre, has nightmares about, and must contend with for the rest of the series.

Two series that handle rape fairly well are Berserk and the All For the Game (AFTG) series. In Berserk, Guts is on page raped by his male guardian and gets his revenge by murdering him. In the AFTG series, Andrew is raped by his foster brother, mostly off page until an inciting incident during a Thanksgiving party, resulting in Andrew’s twin murdering his rapist. In both stories rape is used as a well to explore the characters identities and development. Both men have an aversion to touch and difficulty forming relationships with Guts struggling to have sex with Casca. The consummation of Guts and Casca’s relationship is central to Guts’ identity and character development. And makes later events in the story hit even harder. When Andrew and Neil start their relationship in book 3, Andrew and Neil must negotiate what sex can look like for them. Andrew allowing Neil to touch him, even non sexually, is central to his growth. There are also implications outside of these immediate relationships. For example, Aaron (Andrew’s brother) goes on trial for murder which has other implications for the story.

**As a side note, Berserk is one of the darkest pieces of media I’ve ever read. Not all of it has aged particularly well at all, but it is a pitch black grimdark fantasy that commits to its bottom line of extreme violence.

Did I like anything?

For me, one of the biggest redeeming part of the book was Palmini's narration which is so ridiculously gravely, it makes it fun. He's also clearly from the East Coast, when he says things like, 'water' as 'wa durr', I just giggle.

I also didn’t hate the idea of a magic silver for transportation purposes. That’s a fun idea and I would have liked to see it just go ham. Like, not only are there two worlds the human and fae, but maybe there are several more, and our characters use the quicksilver to go on a cross-world road trip to complete tasks or something. I did read the synopsis of book 2 and it sounds like this might exactly what book 2 might be, but between Fisher and Carrion. Which I think could work as a buddy copy type story. If the story turns into something like the Darker Shades of Magic trilogy that could also be cool.

I also was absolutely sure Fisher was going to have a knot when he said fae had 'extra body parts' and was pleasantly surprised when he had a normal (but of course, very large) dick. This for me was a huge win, because if he was fae, vampirish, and had a werewolf penis, I think I would have shriveled up and died.

Conclusion

Overall, this is not the worst book I’ve ever read or anything like that, and if you like it, that’s great. I just found the plot elements and structure so tired that it made copying and shuffling of other series transparent. This might be my breaking point for romantasy series because this is emblematic of the commodification of the genre. There is an expectation that these books need to be 500-1000 pages each, covering what I can only consider a full season of a television show, with the author able to churn out a new volume (or season!) every calendar year. It makes me harken back to the days of Syfy original series where each season was a relatively contained story with a larger one lurking in the background. Think of like Farscape, Eureka, or Warehouse 13. If romantasy goes in that direction—of comforting, escapist stories, that’s not a bad thing. But it does necessitate some breathing room for authors. The expectation that an author can write a satisfying series, with enough sexual content and fantasy set dressing is already a difficult task. Asking them to churn out volumes quickly to keep up with demand, is frankly unfair to authors. This is where copying and cribbing comes into play. If you want to get your books out the door fast, then the best way to do it is to either copy or publish an early draft that needs more time to bake.

Think of books like The Bone Season, Dark Rise, and The Locked Tomb, where each of the books take years to write and come out. And guess what, it’s fucking worth the wait.  

[teenageread]

Review: Iron Flame

Initial Thoughts: 

What another wild book by Rebecca Yarros as this one makes you fall even more in love with Violet and Xaden, as the two of them work through their trust issues to save Navarre. First, I love how this book picks up right after the first one ended, with Violet healed, in Xaden’s hidden homeland, and her supposedly dead brother helping lead the revolution. Yeah, I would not trust Xaden after that secret either. Still, the show must go on and Violet got a war college to return to. Yarros does a fantastic job at giving this book what it needs to be a sequel: new locations, new characters (yes you get to meet Xaden’s ex), more drama, and more explanation of the past (both of the worlds Yarros created and Xaden), and the plot of the series becoming more clear. If you loved the first book, then you love this one, as Yarros does not whole back as we move deeper into the crazy romantic world, full of dragons and monsters.  

Characters:

Like all fantasy books, Yarros gives us way too many characters to keep track of, so where I would love to rant about my favorite side characters like Aarric and Garrick, I am going to focus on our main team: Violet and Xanden.

Violet should have died after her first year, but her second year at Basgiath is no joke. Despite being bonded to two powerful dragons, Violet still struggles to find her palace in the world, whether in the shadows of her mother or older sister, to the shadows Xaden creates to protect her. Violet's trust is broken, and Yarros has Violet spend ages building back together the relationships she pushed away, from her squad, Mira, her dragons, and Xaden, Where not physically strong, Violet has the mentality of a warrior, as Yarros put her smarts to the test with this novel, even as she uncovers unnerving information about those closest to her. 

Xaden, our dark knight, or should we say crown prince? Where not all of Xaden’s secrets are revealed in this novel, Yarros does shed some light on our shadow’s wild dark past, as he tries his best to let Violet in and love her properly. I love how open Yarros makes Xaden’s feelings in this novel, as despite keeping secrets from Violet, he loves her and you can see it in all the actions that he makes. Now, despite loving her, Xaden has a hard time letting her in. From little letters he writes to her, about his past, and his feelings, Xanden is still a closed gate about his past, and will only answer questions Violet asks him. Beyond the smut scenes, these are my favorite, as Violet willingly fights Xaden to be honest with her, and reveals the darkness he surrounds himself in. With some interesting conversions, you truly root for these two to get together and settle their differences, as they work on their communication skills, despite the world around them falling apart. 

Plot:

One plot? No, Yarros has several going on and gives this six-hundred-page fantasy novel more of a journey with several key plot points as they move the series forward. The novel starts with Violet healed with Xaden in his secret city where she learns about the rebellion, her brother, and what is truly going on outside the wards in Navarre. Then it's back to War College where Xaden graduates, we find out the plan for how our mated dragons are going to see each other, and Violet begins experiencing the second year. With this the main plot of the story begins to be revealed, as the venin are becoming more powerful, it feels as if we are leading up to an epic battle, as the wards begin to fault more and more frequently leaving those Violet loves most vulnerable. 

Writing: 

This long story does feel long at times, as Yarros switches between fun battles, to Xaden and Violet's interactions, there are also a lot of middle-ground boring bits as Violet does the everyday battle school thing like going to classes, trains, and avoiding friends. Making this novel more of an epic tale, I just wish there was more action, and less world/history building because this novel takes forever and a day to get through. At over 600 pages, there are at least 100 that can be cut out of Violet having a conversation with one character once, another “tell me what's going on - I can’t” conversation with Rhi, and like one morning where Violet goes running, and not the five times Yarros wrote about it. Just something to cut the story shorter and pick up the pace, to make this epic read, easier to get through.  

Conclusion: 

If you loved or were on the fence about the first novel, this one will definitely set the series for you, and make you an avid reader. With a deeper dive into the universe, understanding the good vs the bad, and a romance to make you wish it was you, Xaden is willing to destroy the world he knows for Violet, but will Violet let him? Dragons, kissing, fighting, sex, a rebellion against the government, and a war stirring, Violet is set to be the most powerful rider of her generation, and if she survives War College, and survives Xaden, she is going to change the world, much more than her scribe future would have done. 

[rafaelcb]

MERROCK TASK #20 SOCIAL MEDIA

at what age did your character start using social media? Social media was absolutely not a thing when Rafael was younger, so it took him quite a while. He created a Facebook account when it first opened so that he could stay in touch with his college friends from all over the world, but he only recently joined places like Instagram and X.

did their parents monitor their use, if they were young? That would be a no, for obvious reasons.

has your character ever had fake identities or accounts online? No.

no shame: do they remember myspace? did they use it? He remembers the craze around MySpace, but he did not use it.

who would be in their top eight today? Oh no, he's not going to play that game... but it would probably just be eight family members that he stays in touch with so none of his employees got into a battle.

what social media platforms do they use today? Facebook, Instagram and X.

do they have public profiles, or go private? Public profiles.

how about their following? are they pretty lowkey, or do they have a decent following? His following is pretty decent; between running a business and the connections he has made since school days, he has a decent amount of people who follow him online.

do they tend to pick obvious usernames, ones with sentimental value, funny things? how do they decide? Very boring, plain usernames. Like rafaelcb, bardales, rcbardales, stuff that no one would doubt is him.

profile pictures: the same across all platforms? The same across all platforms, yeah, it just easier that way.

and just what profile pictures do they use? Normally a headshot from work or something a little more casual that he took at an event or someone took of him.

what kind of bio writer are they? silly, cute, sweet, or just basic? Basic, for the most part. It tends to be something like 'lawyer, real estate mogul.' Short, simple. To the point.

how much time per day would you say that your character spends on social media? Not a lot. He might browse occasionally during breaks or when he needs to give his brain a rest, though.

is there one platform that they visit more than others? Instagram.

if they have kids, do they use social media? how do they feel about that? if not, and they want kids, will they let them use it someday? Rafael does not have kids, and does not plan on having kids, so... he's just hoping he never has to deal with it. He'd hesitate to let them have access too soon, though.

be honest: have they ever created an account for something else, like a hobby, or… to try to make their cat internet famous? No.

do they run any professional or business accounts? Technically, yes. Bardales Inc. has a professional page, but he has interns to run it, Rafael doesn't care enough about social media to make it happen on his end.

have they ever left a social media platform (or more than one) for any specific reason? Not really, he's pretty open minded, so he normally tries them out, and if they end up being something he can't or doesn't want to keep up with, then he just deletes the app. He does side eye the decisions made behind the scenes at X, though, for obvious reasons.

do they plan on using social media into their older ages? ... well.

have they ever made any long-lasting friendships through social media? A few, he's made friends with a lot of fitness types, especially, bonding over their love of working out.

or on the flip side, gotten into any big social media beef? No, thankfully, he hasn't done that.

have they ever felt negatively impacted by social media as a user? Not personally, no. But Rafael is a very vain person and tends to receive more validation than he does criticism, so that might help out a little bit.

who is their favorite person / account to follow on social media? Again, a lot of fitness gurus or models, to be honest. He's single, he's attractive, he follows whoever he wants to follow and doesn't really care about how it looks. And Duran Duran.

would they say that social media has had an overall more positive or negative impact on the world? Probably an equal balance, in his opinion. He's old enough to remember a world without it, and knows that there are some ways where things were just... better than they are now. But he can't deny the physical impact that it's had, either.

and finally: a/s/l? (and do they know what that means?) A/S/L would have been above him, Rafael's probably old enough that he doesn't recall it being a thing, but 53/M/Maine, New York, Italy.