#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself
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questioning sexuality is so exhausting
#(edit: sorry for the rant in the tags and i just. i want someone to talk to me)#i keep on doing it for no apparent reason#someone was talking about lust yesterday and i realised today that.#even tho id thought i don't experience it. i possibly do. but exclusively towards women.#i hate it here!#for a multitude of reasons i will never have a relationship with a woman but! i may be incapable of having a relationship with a man!#at some point in the last few months i have abruptly pivoted from definitely wanting marriage and kids to being ambivalent on marriage#and not wanting kids. that's such an outlier in my life that it might just be a mental health thing tho idk#but at the same time i. want to be loved.#i don't know what i want anymore and im tired of questioning myself#i definitely overthink it but idk how to stop it#and i hate hate hate how the moral obsessions have bee lately#this isn't entirely related but it kind of is#like Am i a terrible morally bankrupt person for having certain thoughts or is it just religious ocd go brrrr?? am i overthinking it?#i don't know. i don't know!#for a while labelling myself as arospec ace kinda calmed that down but. i don't know#i do't want to be attracted to women. i don't want to have to look away so often. i don't want any of that.#but i don't know how to stop it.#i don't even know if i'm attracted to men at all.#this is a cry for help and encouragement and prayers no matter what your views on these matters are#queer stuff tag#i nearly fessed up to my friend yesterday about same sex attraction and i might've except that it would have probably outed me as#the person who anonymously sent in a question several months ago about the side b movement to a church thing#ive only told one person at church about any of that sort of stuff and it was very vaguely worded#also see: this friend is the mother of the boy i?? i don't even know how i feel about him#i increasingly think it wasn't romantic at all. but i don't know#i would love any encouragement you got. anything at all.#i don't know how much this stuff is affected by the fact that i consider myself unloveable and think it highly unlikely any boy will ever#care for me#now im rambling. sorry
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do you think my readers will notice that im not as passionate about my story anymore? i used to be so consumed by it and my chapters were always long and detailed. but now i am tired and the chapters are shorter and im not as excited, just trying to get it done. i assume people would prefer a finished fic over an abandoned one, even if the finished fic is a little rushed at the end. do you think thats the case?
I love a completed fic, don't get me wrong, but I'd rather have an abandoned fic and know that the author was doing what they wanted to do instead of having a completed fic that the author hated writing the end of.
I'm a big fan of not finishing things, in general. It might be weird to say, but not finishing things is actually a skill I've practiced and tried to build up.
I'm still working on it, but I try to check in with myself when I'm doing something in my free time and just sort of make sure that I'm doing it because *I* want to do it, not because I think other people expect me to do it.
That's why I said no when people asked me about making a dark mode of the medieval site skin. I know I wouldn't enjoy doing it, and I know it would take me several hours to do, and I didn't want to take on that work because I knew it would end with me feeling resentful of the askers. No matter how many thanks I got in return, it wouldn't be enough for the annoyance of doing the thing in the first place.
Did I feel like kind of a bitch? Yes. Did they think that too? Quite possibly. But there are only so many hours in a day and I only have so much of myself to give, and I'd rather answer tumblr asks now that I've got the ask box open again.
If you don't want to finish this story, you really don't have to. It's your story. If you want to abandon it entirely, that's your choice to make. If you want to post one last chapter with a bullet point summary of the plot beats you were planning to hit, that's your choice. If you want to orphan it or delete it or put it on hiatus, those are all your choice as well.
I just encourage you to think less about what other people want and more about what you want. Writing fic is play, not work. If it feels like work then you can just... stop.
I didn't actually answer your question here, so I'll invite other people to give their thoughts. Whatever the outcome of that is, though, take care of yourself 💗
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comparisons
words: 1.5k
warnings: 18+ only, smut, p in v sex, unprotected sex, female receiving oral, insecurities, semi public sex, partying, drinking but not by reader, good girl!reader
“are you seriously looking at her profile again?” your sister questions, snatching your laptop from you.
“give it back!” you squeal, standing up and attempting to grab it, but she has the height advantage on you.
“seriously, this is getting out of hand.” she sets the laptop back down on your desk, navigating to the block button. ���and don't unblock her. it's unhealthy for you to care so much about your boyfriend's ex.”
“she's just so pretty.” you groan. “like how can he go from her to me?”
“you're gorgeous, y/n!” you sister sighs. “you love him. i know you do. just enjoy being together and don't let your insecurities ruin what you have.”
--
you don't mention it to rafe, no matter how anxious you feel.
“what is it?” rafe questions, hand rubbing over your cheek. “you look sad.”
“no, no.” you shake your head aggressively, forcing a smile onto your face. “im fine, promise. just lost in thought.”
in truth, you saw rafes ex at the party. it's why you retreated to the patio with rafe, glad to have some distance.
“hm…” rafe mumbles, looking over you. “you sure? if you're not feeling the party, we can leave.”
you smile at rafe. you weren't sure what you were getting into when you started dating him. you hung out in the opposite crews at school, rafe was popular and easy going, captain of the football team. you never attended the same parties as him during those years, it wasn't until after school where you graduated valedictorian that you got close to him.
“you love to party, babe. i can handle it.” you love it too, usually.
“yeah, but there's a lot of drinking going on. if you're uncomfortable-”
“no.” you shake your head. you aren't a fan of getting drunk yourself, but you don't mind being around people if all they're doing is dancing and having fun.
“then what is it? you can't fool me darling.”
“i just… saw your ex at the party.” you frown. “i can't help but compare myself to her and… it makes me feel insecure, but im trying not to. i want to get better, seriously.”
“aw, baby.” rafe pulls you onto his lap, tired of any distance between the two of you. “you have nothing to worry about. i only have eyes for you.”
“i know, im being silly.” you sigh, wiping at your under eyes before your tears build up.
“you're the most beautiful girl ive ever seen. i even thought that in high school.” rafe laughs. “but you were so good, so focused on school, i didn't want to become a distraction by trying to get you out on a date.”
“oh my god!” you squeal. “how come you never told me that before?”
rafe just shrugs, a soft smile on his face. “if i knew you felt that way, i would have. i promise, you've got nothing to worry about. im yours.”
you press your lips against rafes, kissing him deeply, right there on the outdoor sofa for everyone to see.
“i need you baby.” rafe groans, hands squeezing at your sides.
“yeah.” you nod. “yeah, need you too.”
“want to go home or… or can i find a room upstairs? kelce won't mind.”
“upstairs.” you stand up, rafe quickly following.
“good.” he smiles down at you, arm wrapped around your waist as he leads you back inside, into the crowd of people.
“rafey!” a voice squeals, making you frown. he doesn't let anyone call him rafey except for you.
“hayley.” rafe sighs, sounding nowhere near as enthusiastic, wanting to get you upstairs as soon as possible. “what do you want?*
“just to say hi.” she twirls a piece of hair around her finger, eyes darting to look at the way his arm is wrapped securely around your body. “how's my rafey?”
“not your rafey. its just rafe to you.” he grunts out.
“oh, you're so silly.” she lets out a shrill laugh, reaching forward to press her hand against his bicep.
“hey, in case you haven't noticed-” you speak up. “rafe isn't with you anymore. so stop calling him rafey and stop touching my man.”
hayley pouts and looks at rafe, giving him an opportunity to defend her, but he just smiles down at you.
“believe me now?” rafe pulls you away towards the stairs, leaving hayley to huff and head for another drink.
“ill believe you when you fuck me.” you smile, shutting the bedroom door behind you and making sure to lock it.
“get naked then, babe.”
you both are quick to strip before coming back together in a mess of tongue and lips as rafe dominates your mouth, leaving no room at all for doubt.
“god, feel how hard i am for you.” rafe takes your hand in his, guiding it to his cock.
you stroke up and down his length, the weight heavy and familiar against your palm. “all this for me?”
“you know it, baby.” he laughs dryly, cut off with a moan as you swipe the pad of your thumb over the head of his cock.
“but first…” rafe takes your hand away, and your eyes widen as he sinks down to his knees. “i have to taste you.”
“oh!” you squeal as rafes hands grip your hips, his mouth burying between your thighs.
“fuck!” you moan out, grabbing onto the large poster bed, sinking your fingernails into the wood as his tongue swipes through your folds.
“god, you're so yummy.” rafe moans, his words vibrating your pussy. he tilts his head up, eyes locking on yours as his lips wrap around your clit.
“rafe!” you scream out, not caring if anyone hears, hoping hayley is nearby enough to hear your moans of pleasure as he focuses on sucking at your clit.
“god, i would make you cum like this over and over, but i need to get inside of you.” rafe stands up, capturing your mouth again.
“wanna ride you.” you tell him. you've slept with rafe many times since the start of your relationship, but he's always been the one on top and in control.
“really?” rafe grins at you, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.
“yeah.” you nod. “im feeling- im feeling confident.”
“that's just what i like to hear, darling.” rafe presses a kiss to your lips before laying himself down on the bed, head propped up against the pillows so he can watch you.
you climb over top of him, the only light in the room from the moonlight streaming in the window as you align him with your cunt, sinking down with a moan.
“fuck, baby.” rafe grips your hips, not ready yet to fully give up control as you begin to move up and down with his assistance.
“god, so big.” you gasp out.
“mhm, and all for you, my girl.” rafe helps you speed up, not used to being in this position.
your joint moans fill the room as you ride him, grinding your hips back and forth with every movement until you find the spot inside of yourself that has you screaming out.
“ah, fuck, right there?” rafe begins to lift his hips into you, planting his feet into the bed to get the maximum lift possible as he thrusts upwards, angling his cock to push against just where you like it.
you fall forward, pressing your chest against rafes as he holds your hips still, pounding up into you.
“oh my god!” you squeal out, hands gripping onto rafes biceps as they flex and bulge as he lifts you up and down.
“gonna cum baby, can't last.” rafe presses his face into your hair, inhaling your scent. “you feel too good.”
“yeah, inside me.” you nod, own high not far away.
“fuck.” rafes moans grow as his cock swells inside of you, releasing only moments later.
the feeling of him flooding your insides sends you overboard, your orgasm causing your entire body to shake as your cunt squeezes down on rafes cock, milking the rest of his cum, not wanting to leave a drop.
“fuck.” rafes hands squeeze your hips again. “you're so perfect.”
you smile up at him, feeling tired from the sudden act. “take me home?”
“yeah.” rafe let's out a yawn. “in a minute.”
“mmkay.” you hum, resting your cheek against his chest. “don't fall asleep on me, rafey.”
you have to poke rafe awake a minute later. you both get dressed to get out to your car, the party still raging as you walk hand in hand.
“oh, there you are!” hayley stops in front of you, but you've had enough of her.
“sorry, no time to chit chat.” you plaster on a fake enthusiastic smile. “his cum is dripping out of me right now, so we gotta get home and take care of that. enjoy the party though!”
you pull rafe outside as he cackles. “damn, baby.” his arm wraps around your shoulders. “you are so hot when you're jealous.”
#rafe smut#rafe cameron smut#obx smut#outer banks smut#rafe fic#rafe fanfic#rafe fanfiction#rafe cameron fic#rafe cameron fanfic#rafe cameron fanfiction#rafe x you#rafe x y/n#rafe x oc#rafe x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x oc#rafe cameron x reader#rafe imagine#rafe blurb#rafe drabble#rafe one shot#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron on eshot#rafe cameron drabble#rafe cameron x female reader
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crawling back to you II leah williamson x reader
warnings: toxic, hidden relationship, jealousy, angst
summary: After hiding their relationship for years because Leah was still in the closet, they eventually broke up. Yet, they always found their way back into each others lives.
wc: 1,3k I based on this request
"it´s been two years, Leah. Why are you still referring to me as your best friend and roommate to your teammates? You didn´t even tell Keira about me?! She's your best friend!" I yelled at Leah, more out of frustration than anger. I'm so tired of hiding this relationship, of hiding myself behind the 'best friend´ label.
leah being in the cloest was never a problem for me - for us. But since rumours about her dating her male best friend were a thing it as hard to keep everything private. Growing up in milton keynes it was hard to be openly gay.
"Y/n you know its hard for me to tell everyone we are dating. We both know how they reacted after Keira came out to them. She still suffers from it and i dont wanna experience it please undertstand that." leah tries to explain her situation to me and i wish i could understand her the way i want to. But im too hurt.
"I should understand you? Have you ever tried to understand me? I can't do this anymore, Leah. You deserve someone who can handle this - but I can't. I'm sorry, Lee. It's for the best if we break up."
I say the words with tears in my eyes, my voice barely holding steady. It's a hard decision, but itt's one I have to make.
Being with Leah from the time I was 14 to now, at 17, has meant everything to me. I'm so grateful for the past three years, but I just can't do this anymore.
---------
"Y/N, I BOUGHT US TICKETS FOR THE NEXT GAME AT JOIE STADIUM!"
My girlfriend's excited voice echoes through our shared apartment. It's been seven months since I moved to Manchester and three months since we started living together.
"I'm already excited!" I shout back while checking who City's opponent is. Of course - it's Arsenal.
It feels strange to be thinking about football again, especially after breaking up with Leah almost a year ago. But maybe she's not even playing anymore.
Little did I know, she's been captaining the squad for the past year.
Our seats are incredible, giving us a perfect view of the pitch. As the teams walk out, my eyes immediately land on the captain's armband wrapped around Leah's arm. A strange sense of pride swells in my chest. Playing for the Gunners - leading them - had been her dream since she joined the club so many years ago. Seeing her live that dream now brings an unshakable smile to my face.
My thoughts are interrupted when my girlfriend starts chanting loudly, her passion for the game contagious. For a moment, I forget my ex is even on the pitch.
I never told Sarah about my past with a certain blonde Arsenal player.
I could feel Leah's eyes on me the entire game.
A part of me wanted to tease her, so every time she came over to take a corner, I laughed extra loud at whatever Sarah said or kissed her deeply-just to make a point.
I wanted her to see what it felt like to be in a relationship that didn't have to be hidden. To know how beautiful it is to be loved loudly and openly.
Later that evening, my phone buzzed.
leahwilliamson wants to send you a message. My heart started racing. My eyes widened as I read her message.
'Cute little show you put on earlier today.'
I had no idea how to respond to that, so I just sent back a few question marks. It didn't take long for her to reply.
'The way you laughed extra loud at whatever that girl said. The way you kissed her while checking to see if I was watching. I don't care, Y/N' . My blood starts to boil.
----
"Y/N!!"
I snap out of my thoughts as my coworker calls my name. I hurry over to the counter, my eyes widening.
'Can you serve them? I need to make a quick call.'
I manage a nod, but then I notice here - Leah. Sitting in my cafe. With another girl.
I take a deep breath, forcing a polite smile. "Hey, what can I get for you?" I ask, keeping my tone professional.
Leah smirks. "ll have a matcha latte. And what about you, babe-?" She turns to the girl beside her. "A flat white, please. Thank you" the girl says with a warm smile.
I already don't like her.
"Give me one second"
I know exactly why Leah is here - to get under my skin. And it's working. But beneath the teasing, beneath the smug attitude, it just hurts.
Seeing her be so open, so affectionate with someone else. calling her pet names, touching her without hesitation - it stings in a way I can't ignore.
Whenever we were out together, she barely even said my name, let alone held my hand. Now, she's making sure I see how different things are.
Every time I glance at their table, Leah is already looking at me, eyes filled with something I can't quite place. But I do notice how touchy she is, how overly flirty she's being.
And it makes my blood boil. I text her 'now we are even'. Her eyes darkened as she read the message.
-------
The club was alive with loud music, the clink of glasses, and the smell of sweaty bodies. It was my best friend's 25th birthday, and we decided to celebrate it in our hometown, London. I was also hoping it would serve as a distraction from my recent breakup. After two years of dating Sarah, she ended things last weekend because I couldn't bring myself to tell her I loved her. It's not that I didn't care about her or that I wasn't in love, but things felt different. The only woman I will ever truly love is Leah. Forever.
Suddenly, someone bumped into me, spilling their drink all over my shirt. "Oh god, I'm sorry!" They said as I looked up, meeting their eyes. It was Leah. Who else could it be?
"I didn't know you were here" she said, sounding surprised.
"Yeah, it's Anna's birthday today, and I thought Id come back to London for the occasion" I replied. "What about you?"
Leah seemed taken aback by how easily I kept the conversation going. "Actually, we won the league today. It was the last game of the season against Aston Villa, and we won."
The conversation flowed naturally, and then, unexpectedly, she asked THE question.
"So, is your girlfriend here?" she asked.
"No,†I said "we are not together anymore." "Oh, really? Im sorry to hear that. Funny enough, my girlfriend broke up with me two weeks ago" she replied, a look of surprise crossing her face. I was stunned, my eyes widening in disbelief. The tension between us shifted, and an unfamiliar but unmistakable feeling of missing her washed over me.
After that, we kept texting and even FaceTimed a few times. The vibe was strange but oddly familiar, as though we had never stopped talking, despite having broken up over 3.5 years ago. Nothing had really changed.
---------
"Happy one year, baby!" Leah greeted me with breakfast in bed and the most beautiful bouquet of red roses. I couldn't have been happier with her by my side.
Even though she had a game on our anniversary , it didn't make the day any less special. I cheered her on from the 'Friends and Family' section, proudly wearing her name on the back of my Arsenal jersey. When she scored the winning goal, she celebrated by making a special gesture just for me.
Right person, right time.
#arsenal#woso community#woso imagine#woso x reader#woso#leah williamson#leah#leah williamson reader#leah williamson imagine#leah x reader#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson angst#leah williamson fluff
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𝙸 𝙳𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚂𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛 𝙸 𝙹𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝙷𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝙸𝚝
The lads men and their nuerospicy adhd/add reader A/N: Your mental health matters and don't sacrifice it for anyone. These are a few things I deal with. Everyone's experience with adhd/add is different. [Requested by: luxis-journal]

Time Blocking
I have to be there by 5:30pm, but I need to shower and do my makeup so I need at least 2 or 3 hours for that, but I should give myself time so im not rushing because I hate being rushed and I know I'm gonna want to eat before I go so I should make time for that and picking out an outfit will take some time so I need to start getting ready at like 11am you know incase there’s traffic and im not rushing
Zayne doesn’t question it and just gets ready in 30 minutes while you still run around getting dressed Rafayel rushes you just to piss you off and immediately regret it when you tell him to leave without you because you’re not going anymore Xavier when you tell him the rundown of your getting ready time he’s confused until he wakes up an hour before you need to leave and you’re still getting ready Sylus happily just watches you get dressed while he’s still in bed
ADD/ADHD Pause
That moment when you need to turn the lights off, but you need to grab your car keys off the kitchen counter, but your jacket is still in your room so you can’t turn the room light off just yet and you need to grab your travel mug from the fridge so now you’re just stutter stepping in one spot trying to do everything at once
Zayne tells you to grab your drink while he grabs everything else Rafayel puts his hands on your shoulders and directs into your room to grab your jacket and then asks what else needs to be done Xavier quietly grabs everything for you Sylus grabs your chin, tilting it up to look at him and simply says “One thing at a time sweetie”
Nightly/Tired Zoomies
Hysterically laughing at anything and thinking of everything funny that’s ever made you laugh right before bed or when you get tired. Crackhead energy.
Zayne sweetly smiles while you tire yourself out and cuddles you when you lay down and pass out in his arms Rafayel is cackling with you and not just laughing, but also adding onto the jokes you both end up laughing until you’re in tears Xavier he’s already knocked out while you’re still up laughing at videos on your phone Sylus teases you the entire time which only makes you laugh more then makes you lay down because he knows you’re just sleepy
Non-verbal and/or Overstimulated
Those moments when you just don’t feel like talking and everything is pissing you off especially unnecessary noises
Zayne leaves you be and just sends you texts to check on you. Turns on your favorite show when he’s about to eat so you don’t yell at him for making too much noise Rafayel still wants your attention so he just lays on you hoping it would make you feel better. it works for a while until the sound of his breathing starts irritating you “Why are you breathing so loud?” “Im sorry for being alive??” Xavier leaves you alone and just leaves you little snacks in case you get hungry he knows you’ll come talk to him when you’re ready Sylus simply texts you when you don’t feel like speaking sends the twins in to see how irritable you are because if you get snappy with them he knows you’ll bite his head off
Vocal Stimming
A new random sentence or song snippet every week from “FLINT LOCKWOOD” to “Say its fine (fiiiinneee) happens all the time” to just random noises when the silence is silencing too much
Zayne just looks at you and goes on about his day Rafayel gets them stuck in his head now he’s randomly saying it too Xavier questions it “Where did that come from?” Sylus just lets you do your thing chuckles from time to time because he finds it cute
#love and deepspace#sylus love and deepspace#sylus#lnds sylus#love and deepspace sylus#lads#lads rafayel#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads sylus#lnds rafayel#lnds zayne#lnds xavier#zayne love and deepspace#rafayel love and deepspace#xavier love and deepspace#nikaaaaimagine
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Alls well to ends well
You would think the coach would be content with his life?
A big burly man, former pro player, teaching boy to be men.
You'd think he'd be even more content knowing he transforms boys into jocks, doesn't matter who they are , they will be stripped of everything and reborn as a football jock, though the process isn't always the same, the goal is a big ,dumb ,horny masculine testosterone filled football jock. But it really depends on the person, if the boy was a biology major, the outcome would be a jock that's particularly smart in health, can't be athlete and not take care of yourself right? He would know all the ins and out of his muscles, and what to eat, but don't get me wrong, he's a complete idiot in anything else, he's still dumb, but only smart in was of football and his body. And is he big? Yes, his muscles would have expanded big and tight, with his knowledge of health, he would actually be quite obsessed with maintaining a perfect diet so grow huge. He would also be extremely horny, with how much testosterone he must have.
The transformation process happens like this with every boy, the team are never carbon copy dumb jocks, but just unique dumb jocks.
You would think coach hunter would not think twice about the transformations, he wants to make the world more manly one boy at a time.
But at times, when he witness the final transformation of the man before him, the cum still dripping from the new jocks cock, with a cocky grin and chuckle to match
You could say he's spent decades doing it, he's watched boy after boy, either ask for it or be forced into it.
Hunter was growing older, he was divorced and childless from a young age, you could say him doing these transformations is his way of trying to be a father he never was.
In his office , he would watch jock after jock, come and go so many times, he would look at the same posters of jocks on the wall, the sweaty musk in the air, the yellowed lighting.
His body was growing weaker , flabby even, , though it looked strong, and he was, his spirits were failing him
You could say he was ready to retire
The boys he created or taught naturally, all respected him and went on to become great athletes. Hunter would lean against his leather chair wondering what the point was anymore. They all treated him like a father, that was his wish wasn't It? To pretend to have a son to coach and lead.
Though every time that son would up and leave , he would create more and more, he lost track of what he really wanted
He had a thought, though he never dared to think it, what if I tried it on myself?.
He wonders maybe what he wants is a reset , a chance to relive his youth happily and sweaty , he wanted to be a jock again.
Though before he could finish his thought a boy came Into the room, his name was Aaron, a young boy, tall, average build, not ugly in any means, though a loner and just a wallflower.
"Hey there son, what can I do for ya?" The big man would say with a tired smile.
Aaron would awkwardly smile crashing the back of his head
"ehe, hi coach, I just.. wanted to ask something.."
Hunter curious asks"oh and what would that be?"
Aaron trembled slightly, awkward" i-.. er... Want to play football.. be a jock.." he'd look away in shear terror and embarrassment, as if he said the most painful thing.
Coach hunter would look for a moment before laughing loudly
"my boy, you act like you're telling me someone died or something, you don't need to be afraid to ask such a question.. what made you want to ask it? If you want to play football, Im the man to come too"
Aaron would awkwardly chuckle* ehe yeah
.. sorry, I'm not great at talking..
I just.. want to feel the wind in my hair, the strong boy of the guys, to be big and muscular. Someone important and hot. I've always liked football.. though I never had a chance to play*
Coach hunter looks at him with a curious listening smile- " well Aaron, looks like you have a deep longing for it. I can tell you've kept these feelings down for a long time . If football is what you want, than I can do it for you. I assume you know what is to happen?"
Aaron looks at him -" y yeah I've heard through the grape vine what happens here, they say your really good at transforming"
Hunter chuckles" well.. I'm not that good. I'm just tried, to be honest"
Aaron looks concerned,"oh? What's wrong coach? Getting tired of transforming guys?*
Hunter sighs * yeah.. if things do as planned.. I think I'll make you my last boy.. before I go*
Aaron shocked *wow really? I can imagine it must feel strange, you bring so much change , but you don't exactly see any benefits for yourself, I'm honoured to be your last.*. Aaron swallows
*but I think you want something more. Don't you? Would you... Like to join me?*
Hunters shocked by the words, it cut deep, his heart racing
*j join you? I-..* he looks away
Aaron chuckles and takes his hand
*it's better than retiring sad an lonely isn't it? I can see your eyes, holo and dark, you want to feel that air too.., and if it helps, I'll be your best bro. We can be brothers even , what do you say?*large goofy grin*
Tears from in coach hunters eyes as he looks to me *Aaron... . I... I'd love nothing more...*
Aaron grins squinting his eyes*well then .. brother "winks" we better get a move on right? And can I just say .. I love the name hunter.. I've always wanted to be one*
Coach hunter laughs and chuckles awkwardly* wow, never thought I'd see the day.. let's do this... Brother .., and you like my name? Well why don't we share it then.. let's be hunters together bro *he winks** a light shines in his eyes once more.
The transformation was as he always remembered it, a hypnotic spiral, the smells of sweat and cum. The arousal in the air. Once into, football would become your life, along side an extra thing, the coach would give a drop of his blood to the boys , in an attempt to maybe create a son, though nothing ever turned out, it just speed up the process.
In this Aaron chose to give his own blood too, he stabbed himself with a pin
*here.. hunter.. let us become one .. a family*smiles*
More tears fall from hunters eyes as Aaron takes the shot of hunters blood and hunter sucks on Aaron's finger, in this moment the transformation would begin
The spiral would take the two guys into an embrace, both would start to sweat buckets. Stink. Hunters body would start to shrink, the muscles deflating , but also tightening. The years being turned back on his skin, his greying hair sprouting thick new locks , dark and healthy. Styled with an undercut and a cwaufed top. His dick would be rock hard and leaking in this moment, his eyes fogged over, drool from his mouth.
A similar process would be happening to Aaron, he would crack and grow taller, reaching the height of hunter his shoulders cracking and getting bigger z 6 back cum gutter abs, his arms huge , thick and legs like tree trunks. Drool from.his mouth and a dick hard as rock .. the blood they swallowed would also get to work, changing their DNA to make them brothers.. the same age, but not twins. The two would fall onto a couch , both holding each others dicks, as they stared at the spiral . Their memories being rewired and changed. both two brothers... Names hunter.. though one is blonde and one is dark blonde to differentiate them.. both were prodigies at football , though always extremely sweaty and horny , they would dominate the field, and do it in style together*
Coach hunter, bow just Hunters hair turned dark blonde with highlights through it, and Aaron, now hunter, turned a light blonde
The two would stroke each others dicks slowly, both having the biggest smiles on each others faces
Then the kit. A tight football kit would start forming, from musky cleats, tight pants, and a jearsey that both had taken off on the side, both reeked of sweat and cum, just to brothers. To bros helping each other out.
As the fog was lifting from each others new minds, they both would cum hard . Spewing rope after rope of cum , it's known the hunter brothers are two horny guys, you cannot stop them*
Blonde hunter looks to his brother, looking over at the TV to see just a porno of jocks, suddenly there all in a messy dorm room, musky and trashed with beer cans , kits and weights, both roombros
*fuck...bro... Thanks bro.. I owe you one bro * blonde hunter continues to stroke his cock moaning spewing more cum
dark blonde hunter doing the same thing moans back *fuck bro.... .. any time bro..*
They look at each other lovingly,, just two brothers jerking off, playing football and being just two sweaty masculine men, and they would all thank their coach.. coach Jason.. who trained them to be the men they are.. and dew to their past life's, dark brown hunter being a former coach has great leadership skills, he commands on the field like the alpha he is ,blonde hunter though he wasn't Great at much before, only a bit of an artist, he's just very horny . A complete horn dog, even compared to his brother.. he's obsessed with football. Probably due to the fact Aaron had always wished to become a football jock, he follows his brother without question, they both do, he strives to command a field just like he does, he has a fire in him he makes known to all he meets
The two brothers lay on the couch laughing and jerking off , sweaty, and watching the game,
they would never want it any other way ..
Just two big dumb horny football jock .brothers..
The hunter brothers

---
Hope you guys enjoy this 😅
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Situationship.

Duke Dennis x Black! Fem! Reader as Makena
Word Count: 1,449
Warnings: 18+ smut, fluff, toxic relationship
Summary: Tired of this situationship between you and Duke you decide its just better to end things. Duke wants to make it right.
Makena POV
A sigh escaped my lips as I aimlessly scroll through my phone. It was now 3 am and Duke still wasn’t here yet. I sent a text to his phone for the one hundredth time.
It's late, don't even worry about coming anymore… Sent.
No reply. Once again.
I watched his story and saw that he posted something 30 minutes ago. He was out with his friends at some party or function with some bitch grabbing his face. At that point I was fed up, annoyed and kinda hurt. I throw my phone to the side and sit up. He’s been blowing me off all night after he told me he was coming over so we could spend some time together. One stop and I'm on my way, I Love you” was the last response I got from him. Tears streamed down my face. Not only was I mad at him I was mad at myself for even allowing my feelings to get wrapped up in whatever you wanna call this. Duke and I have been messing around for almost a year now but he never officially asked me to be his girlfriend. He helps me with my bills, buys me whatever I want, fucks me good, but there was no actual commitment. He uses the excuse of he doesn’t want to hurt me, but this hurts way worse. My thoughts were interrupted by my phone dinging, indicating I had just got a text. I hover my face over my phone revealing the message from him.
Im outside
I layed back down on the bed ignoring his text. Next thing I know I hear my front door unlocking.
I groaned annoyingly. I need to get my key back from this nigga. I can hear his feet making their way to my bedroom before he slides my door open, stumbling in. He casually makes his way over to me leaning down to peck me on the lips but he was met with the palm of my hand.
“So you just goin walk in here late as a motherfucka and act like nothing's wrong??” She raised her voice at him.
“Come on boo don’t start that, i'm here now right? That's all that should matter'' He asks nonchalantly, going back in for another attempted kiss. I quickly jumped up and moved around him.
“You know, I don’t think I wanna do this anymore Duke..”I say looking away from him.
“Do what Makena?”
“THIS” I raise my voice again, pointing between the two of us. “This is getting old and I'm tired of sitting around waiting on you to see how good of a woman I am..tired of waiting on you to respect me! I’m done.” I snapped.
“What do you mean you're done?”
“I'm done, We are done! And you need to give me back my key!” He chuckles at me.
“You trippin’ im not going any fucking where” He simply says, slideing his shoes off.
“Why don’t you just let me go Duke?” I questioned. “Why continue to string me along huh? You don’t want to be with me at this point so what's the point of keeping this going?”
“Makena,You know I love you. I just don't want to hurt you” He states, pulling me in front of him.
“You don’t think this hurts already?” I hold my hand up. “You know what, I just want you to go, i'll give you a minute to get whatever stuff you have here and leave my fuckin key” I turn my back to him not even giving him a chance to respond, heading for the bathroom to take a long, hot shower. I needed to clear my mind and hopefully by the time I got out that asshole would be gone for good.
Omniscient POV
After about 20 minutes, Duke enters the bathroom. He sees Makena’s naked silhouette through the foggy glass shower. He looks over to see her music softly playing from her bluetooth speaker. He quickly strips out of his clothes and slides in the steaming hot shower. The breeze runs a chill down Makena’s spine as he slides the door back closed.
She quickly turns around. “I thought I told you to go?” She asks, rolling her eyes.
“We not done talking yet” He wraps his arms around her, bringing her body close to his.
“Duke, please don’t do this to me right now. Just let me go and leave” she says, trying to unwrap his arms from around her. He holds her tight.
“What do you want? Whatever you want I’ll give it to you. Just don’t leave me baby”
“He can’t be serious..” She thought. But with the look on his face she knew this was far from a joke. But she couldn’t give in. What would he think of her if she just took him back so easily? Why now did he want to do the right thing?
“It's a little too late fo-”
“Be my girlfriend?” He cuts her off, looking in her eyes with adoration.
“Wow really?” She asks sarcastically. “ Now you want to ask me? It's only because I'm telling you I'm done with you that you want to act right now” She says disgustingly, rolling my eyes and pushing him away from her.
“Baby I'm serious!” He exclaims, grabbing her again. “I can’t lose you, whatever you want me to do I'll do it. I want to make it right, I have to make it right. Give me just one more chance and I promise we won’t have to have this conversation no more”
“I don’t know what to say Duke…” She says lowly, looking down and away from him. He drops to his knees in the oversized walk in shower, grabbing onto her waist. He places gentle kisses along her stomach trailing down to her womanhood.
“Say yes” He says softly, placing a kiss right on top of her clit. Her breath hitches in her throat.
“Say yes baby..” He throws her left leg over his shoulder and places a few more kisses on her wet center before completely devouring her. He made sure to take his time pleasing her. He wanted to show her that he meant what he said.
“Duke..no” She trails off, throwing her head back as he lapped her up like a thirsty dog. His thumb finds her clit drawing small circles on it.
“Be my girlfriend baby” He says again, looking up to watch her love faces. She begins to feel her orgasm build in her stomach as she grinds down on his face. “Shit i'm almost there” She gasps. He stops immediately, getting up and turning off the shower before picking her up and walking her out the shower.
“You don’t get to cum until you say yes.” He wraps a towel around her wet body, bending her over the sink, the two making eye contact in the mirror. She could see the lust and longing in his face. He rubs his member up and down her slick womanhood before roughly sliding into her in one swift motion.
“Fuck” she groaned out as he starting to deliver rough,delicious strokes.
“You goin be my girlfriend baby?” He asks yet again, brushing some of her curls out her face. Her mouth falls open but nothing comes out. He delivers a smack to her ass. “Answer me baby” He groans, going deeper bottoming out.
“Oh shitt, Yess” She moans out blissfully.
“Say it” He says, pulling out and sitting on the side of the tub, pulling her back on him and sliding in again. He starts to work her up and down his member.
“Say it Makena” He states firmly.
“Ima be your girlfriend babyy” She blurts out.
“Yea?” He says with a smile, kissing you along the side of your face and neck as he still bounces you on him. Makena starts to throw it back on him, pulling out her best moves to show him that it doesn’t get any better than this.
“Oh fuckk mama” He grunts, grabbing the back of her neck turning her to face him.
“Gimme kiss” They lean into each other and give each other the sloppiest kiss ever.
“Hmmm baby im cumming” She cries out, picking up her speed.
“Cum on your dick” His words were like a catalyst for her orgasm, which rips through her like a tornado. He finishes right behind her, pulling out and releasing on the rug. She turns to kiss him once again.
“Mm we not finished yet. I still have a lot of making up to do.” He says with a lustful grin on his face.
A/N: Makena definitely DID NOT stand on business 😭😭
#black stories#black reader#duke dennis x black!reader#black love#black writers#black smut#black fanfiction#smutty#imagine#x reader#fem reader#fluff
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playlists:
samira
jack
robby
frank
(fave lyrics and a couple extra stuff below)
lyrics:
samira: I will die your daughter (quit fucking around, no time to kill) robby ▪︎ but then, if you're so smart, then tell me why are you still so afraid? slow down you're doing fine. though you can see when you're wrong, you can't always see when you're right. ▪︎ and you can't feel nothing small ▪︎ and I wonder why I tear myself down to be built back up again. I fill the void with polished doubt ▪︎ I'd be cooler, I'd be smarter, probably be a better daughter. Yeah, I wonder what I'd be like.
jack: ive come back changed i can feel it in my bones, oh the darkness got a hold on me ▪︎ but you ain't gonna make it, if you don't let someone in. darlin' why don't you sleep at night? ▪︎ scar tissue that i wish you saw, with the birds ill share this lonely viewin ▪︎ ive been livin like a midnight cowboy ▪︎ there's darkness in the distance from the way that I've been livin', runnin' from the daylight ▪︎ if my engine works perfect on empty i guess ill drive, if all my time's wasted ▪︎ you say you're too busy saving everyone to save yourself, you could let it all go, it's called free fall
▪︎ rabbot: howl, look after you, halloween, freefall (roofscene), your needs,my needs, like real people do, stuck with me ▪︎clean: not ship specific just jack being an acts of service guy ▪︎ mohabbot: wondering why, take me to church, too sweet
robby: sisyphus peered into the mist, a stones throw from a precipice ▪︎ must be some kind of fucked up to try again and again, no i don't get to rest yet. ▪︎ but you ain't gonna make it, if you don't let someone in ▪︎ I want a meaning from the back of my broken hand ▪︎ every waking hour I'm choosing my confessions, trying to keep an eye on you. that's me in the spotlight, losing my religion ▪︎ I'm haunted I'm wired, dear mother I'm tired ▪︎ faith stays young til your heart get broken, hope grows up to become someday ▪︎ she said that i don't look like me no more, I said I'm just tired ▪︎ at every occasion, I'll be ready for the funeral ▪︎ you say you're too busy saving everyone to save yourself, you could let it all go, it's called free fall ▪︎ thoughts and prayers was all they'd do. divinity says destiny can't be earned or returned. I feel when I question, my skin starts to burn. why does my skin start to burn? love was the law and religion was taught, I'm not bought ▪︎ you're here for a reason but you don't know why, you're split and uneven your hands to the sky. and I wonder why I tear myself down to be built back up again
▪︎ frank: don't get me venting on friends who resent you 'cause all you've ever done is be a noose to hang on to they thought was a necklace and reckless they fell into hell where you both hang with nothing to do ▪︎ rabbot: freefall (roofscene), you found me, like real people do, stuck with me, i never loved myself like i loved you ▪︎ rollins: let her go, cold love, back to friends, bleeding out, how could you ever think I hated you?, glue
frank: nobody's perfect anymore, so why can't I be your golden boy? ▪︎ if we can make it through another day, with you believing in my innocence; and it's just a little white lie. if I was to blame, would you still believe if i was a thief? ▪︎ when im sober, would you stay? if I broke it, would you quit? can you understand it? I can't keep living for the damaged ▪︎ don't go, I know I've pushed you to before. don't go, I'll never make it on my own ▪︎ you always said you loved dogs, I don't know if I count but I'm trying my best
▪︎ kingdon: ode to a conversation stuck in your throat, melancholyism
honorable mentions:
santos: (any destroy boys song)
dennis:
the pitt crew in general:
#this was. so hard to organise#god i hope it makes sense#also the way like all of franks lyrics i chose are abt robby. to me#squids bullshit#the pitt#playlist#frank langdon#dr robby#micheal robinavitch#jack abbot#samira mohan#Spotify
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First Night Interview (Heartslabyul and Scarabia Ver.)

Question: How did you spend your first night with your wife?
Ace looked at the question in horrified.
Ace: WH-WHAT KIND OF A QUESTION IS THAT! WHY SHOULD I TELL YOU?!
Deuce: Bet you were just sleeping like a log. *
Deuce smirked at Ace as he folded his arms, literally mocking him. Irritated with Deuce remark, Ace did not back down.
Ace: HUH! EXCUSE ME! We diiddd it all night longggg! Tch! (I'd be dead if my wife knew about this) Bet you struggle to even hold your wife's hands.
Deuce: ME-ME?! Me... My wife and I... spend a heated night *blush furiously*. It's the first night of the wedding after all. It's bound to happen. *Super proud face*. How about Trey-senpai and Cater-senpai?
Trey: I don't think I can say much. My marriage happened during Christmas so both of us were busy with all the orders from the bakery. We just passed out late at night and wake up early tomorrow morning for another batch of orders.
Cater: That's sounds pretty tiring. Good, you have a supportive wife. You should buy her a cute gift as a reward.
Trey: I already did.
Cater: What did you give? Something branded? Expensive? Trending?
Trey: There is no need to buy when I can just provide the thing for my wife.
Cater: You must bake something and use your unique magic to impress her.
Trey: Something like that. Now, stop focusing the conversation on me, Cater. It's your turn. Don't avoid to answer.
Cater: Uhuu..Did I get caught? I also have nothing special to share. I only remember taking multiple pictures of my wife. She's too beautiful and photogenic for me to stop.
Deuce: Really senpai? But I don't notice you update anything in magicam that night.
Cater: Not everything should be posted, Deuce-chan. It's a memory that I want to keep for myself.
Deuce: Please drop the chan :(
Riddle, who was listening to the conversation could not hold himself back anymore
Riddle: All of you... I tried to ignore it but I couldn't anymore. DID YOU GUYS BREAK THE CURFEW?! This is an embarrassment for ex-students from Heartslabyul. A DISGRACE!
Everyone was shocked with the ex-dorm leader outburst.
Deuce: Riddle-senpai, do you still follow all the 180 rules?
Riddle: It's 810! How can you forget about the rules! This matter is not something to take lightly!
Cater: That's Riddle for you I guess.
Riddle: My wife is not like you rule breakers at all. She follows all the rules really well. It was right for me to rely on my mother in choosing my partner.
Ace: YOU IMPLY THE SAME RULES TO YOUR WIFE???!!!
Riddle: It's something to be expected alright. When the clock hit 10, we go sleep punctually. It has been 1 month of marriage and we always did that.
Trey: Did you really just sleep, Riddle?
Riddle: I don't see anything worth to do except that. Besides, I finished all my tasks early before bed.
Trey: Your wife don't say anything? Like giving you the cold shoulders.
Riddle: When I think about it... She did act differently the next day but I don't know why. I tried to ask but she always said she's busy or I need to figure it out by myself.
Ace: Congratulation on having the first couple fight
Riddle: Wh-what do you mean by that, Ace?
Cater: Just ignore him, Riddle. Let me help you solving the problems. I already share some links with you. You just need to watch and you will understand your wife better.
Riddle: Will it works? *About to click the link*
Cater: *Close Riddle's phone as fast as he can* Please remember to not watch it in public.

Kalim: What are you guys doing? Can I join too?
Trey: I don't think you should involve yourself in the conversation Kalim. This will taint your innocence
Ace: We talking about everyone's first night. Please share with us your experience too, senpai
Trey: Ace! You-!
Kalim: Ohh about that! Of course, I spent the entire night with my beautiful wife. She teaches me a lot of ways to cuddle. We keep each other close not only that night but the entire next 2 days! And we-!
Jamil: KALIM! STOP TALKING! (Immediately cover his mouth and drag him away before he can describe the entire situation. Meanwhile, Riddle was busy taking notes inside his head. Cuddle all night doesn't sound so bad)
Cater: What about you, Jamil?
Jamil: I don't want to share anything but my wife admit I'm a husband material *Smug smile*
END
This is my first time focusing my writing on dialogue more instead of description. How was it? While doing this, I got some ideas to write one-shot for everyone of them in regards of their first night. Might be writing a new series huhuhuhu.
#romance#twisted wonderland#twisted wonderland x reader#twst#twst x reader#heartslaybul x reader#scarabia x reader#scarabia#disney twisted wonderland#riddle rosehearts x you#riddle rosehearts x reader#trey clover x reader#trey x reader#trey clover#riddle rosehearts#cater diamond x reader#cater x reader#cater diamond#ace trappola x reader#ace trappola#ace x reader#deuce spade x reader#deuce x reader#deuce spade#kalim al asim x reader#kalim al asim#jamil viper x reader#jamil x reader#jamil viper#jamil twst
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This is just a small episode, nothing big.
I wanted to start with Troy cuz im re watching FTWD, and I had completely forgotten how attractive that man is😛
Third person Pov
She had come back from a hunt and was slightly taken aback by the unknown man in her kitchen.
There was a small cough, a fake one just to attrack the attention of the guy with his back turned to her. It seemed that it went completely over his head, so the girl spoke.
"Don't you feel like an intruder?" Her tone was curious, clearly being sarcastic as she looked over at the taller man who seemed to be rummaging through her pantry, he completely ignored her until the soft click of her gun made him turn around to glance over at her.
"May I at least know your name before you rob me?"
She tried speaking to the quiet man but once again, he didn't answer, not until she shot the wall near his head, he cringed slightly at the loud sound and the small noice of some pebbles from the stone wall hitting her counter top, but he quickly composed himself, rasing his hands in surrender, a mocking grin on his face.
"I have better aim when i want to, I can promise you that... your name?"
"Troy.. my name is Troy" He finally answered one of her questions.
"Well, Troy.. you're in my house right now.."
"Someone in your house should be the last of your worries when there are walking corpses eating the living" He spoke once again, his hands falling to his sides as he chuckled.
"You don't have a weapon on you.. how have you managed to survive without one?.. since that's impossible, i'll just assume you lost yours, " She muttered as she looked him over, her gaze analysing, judging but not uncaring, never cold. She was still human after all. The girl moved towards him, careful, despite not seeing a weapon on him. Her lips were moving but Troy didn't listen to what she was saying, he could hear her, he was too busy staring at her, his blue eyes raking over her face, the shape of her eyes, the minuscule scar above her eyebrow, the way her nose scrunched up in annoyance and the scoff on her lips before he received a hard slap across the face, making his head turn and gain focus as quickly as he had lost it. He brought his hand up to touch the side of his face, his tired eyes widening slightly. It was like she had slapped the fatigue off him.
"I asked you a question, Troy.. do you have a camp?" She asked again, her gun still, her hand steady as she pressed the barrel against his stomach, her eyes locked into his, she didn't trust him, he looked dangerous even while unarmed, he was taller than her, stronger than her and probably faster too but she was armed, a bullet and he would drop, bending her finger was all it took for her to win their uncommenced fight.
"Not anymore.. I was forced to leave after an altercation.. they threw me out for defending myself, " He lied. Although she would never know, why would she need to know? Lying came naturally to him and unless she knew people in the ranch, which was highly improbable, because she seemed like the type of person to avoid any form of human life or interaction, she didn't have to know.
"If you're gonna stay, you'll have to pull your own weight.. it's just me and my dog, and I don't mind going back to being only us.." She warned him as she holstered her gun, staring up at him for a solide minute, her eyebrows furrowed slightly as she took a few steps back after she watched him nod his head.
"You can start by cleaning the kitchen.." She said quietly as she turned to leave the room.
"I never got your name." he stopped her, barely moving from where he was.
"I don't think it matters," she breathed out in an annoyed tone, rolling her eyes in mild irritation before turning to look back at him
"If I'm going to stay, I'd like to know how to address you.." They argued back and forth for a little while, his hand going up to caress the back of his neck, the shit eating grin on his lips never leaving.
She looked up at him, shifting her weight onto her other leg, her hand resting on her hip, over her gun. "...Y/n.."
"It's a.. pleasure.."
#fanfic#troy otto#ftwd#fear the walking dead#daniel sharman#girlblogging#x reader#cannon x reader#troy otto x reader#writing#writers on tumblr#jollyposting
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{ ᵏᵃʳᵐᵃ ʰᵃᵗᵉˢ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃⁿᵈ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵏⁿᵒʷ ʷʰʸ, ᵗᵘʳⁿˢ ᵒᵘᵗ ʰᵉ ʰᵃˢ ⁿᵉᵛᵉʳ ᶠᵃˡˡᵉⁿ ⁱⁿ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʷⁱᵗʰ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵒⁿᵉ ˢᵒ ʰᵃʳᵈ ᵇᵉᶠᵒʳᵉ }
y/n stared confused and a little annoyed at her seatmate who refused to take part in their paired project.
"nah, im tired"
"but we have to finish this"
"yea yea just do your part then send it to me, i'll do it at home"
karma rested his head in his arms on the table, facing away from her. seriously what did y/n even do? all she did was become his seatmate by luck and occasionally ask him math questions because he's smart. so why did he have to be so hostile?
"okay.."
he made y/n so uncomfortable. She admits she did have a crush on the redhead but has said nothing and done nothing to him about it, making his coldness much harsher on her.
-
during their pe lessons, karasuma made seatmates partner up to spar with each other.
y/n glanced at karma, and he glanced back before looking away and walking out of the field to skip the class.
"did both of you get into an argument?"
nagisa asked, knowing his friend was not the type to be so cold to someone without a reason. sure karma can be unfriendly and aggressive to people, but it was to those who did or said something bad.
"no he just hates me for breathing"
y/n sighs and rolls her eyes before asking if she could spar with another person.
-
"why would you pull that off?!"
karma is angry, but y/n was confused, was he angry at her for trying to defend their group when they got attacked by students who are much bigger and older than them? or did he have some grand plan and she fucked it up?
"akabane i-"
"what if you got seriously hurt? you wouldn't even stand a chance against those guys!"
he gripped your shoulders tightly.
"then what should i have done? you were getting kicked!"
you smacked his hands away and got up, brushing the dirt off your skirt. you looked over to your elbow which got scrapped when the students shoved you and winced a little at the pain.
"you're really a fucking idiot you know that."
karma held your arm to look at your wound, then poured water to disinfect it. y/n took the bottle out of his hand and stepped back.
"i can do it by myself, after all, you don't want to waste your time with a fucking idiot you hate."
karma was stunned, he knew he was an ass to her these past few weeks but she thought he hated her?
"what are you even saying y/n, since when have i hated you?"
y/n looked at karma incredulously
"don't give me that bullshit, you were so cold to me when i did nothing to you."
he was cold to her he knows, he was trying to avoid her. why? because he felt something with her, something foreign, fuzzy and warm. whenever he was with her his heart would like someone squeezed the life out of it. it was so annoying but he was always addicted, so he avoided her to stop what he was feeling.
karma sighed, "i don't hate you. really. its just,,"
he looks away ashamed of how vulnerable he is now in front of her. he combs his hair back with his hands in frustration and also to hide his red face.
"just?"
y/n hoped for a suitable answer as to why he had shunned her this whole time because it really did hurt her quite a lot.
"i feel something with you, its so weird, i don't like it."
karma says, eyes never looking at the girl in front of him. he couldn't bear to see what expression he had on her face, it would truly kill his heart.
"it's...ah you know what never mind."
he tries to control the damage that's done, he thinks that anymore he says, y/n would never want to see him again. y/n grabs the hem of his black jacket to stop him from avoiding her, something she should have done all along.
"no, karma, what feelings do you have with me. don't try to run away again"
y/n gripped tightly, feeling like if she let go he would be gone for real this time. she calls out his first name for the first time showing how desperate she was.
"i really really like you. alot."
ah. he did it, he admitted his feelings. it's done, whatever relationship they had is gone now.
"what? is that why you acted like that?"
oh my, karma is so fucking cute, y/n thought seeing his face flush even redder
"so annoying, i can't believe i feel so weak when i'm with you. i can't even fight properly. i can't even focus on anything in class."
karma kept trying to hate how he feels, perhaps its because he never knew what it was like to give love since his parents were always either overseas or at work.
"annoying? you are so stupid. you liked me for a month and you found it annoying, i liked you for 6 months you ass!"
y/n smacked his shoulder, then winced at the pain from her wound, making karma grasp her arm to check it. he looks up to her as he processes her words.
"6 months? u like me?"
"yeah 6 months of always looking at you and noticing what you do, i was so happy talking to you and then suddenly you went cold-"
before y/n could finish her rambling, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her, engulfing her in an embrace. karma held y/n tight and buried his face into her neck, his heartbeat beating too quickly he felt faint.
"i like you, ahh i like you so much, fuck"
y/n laughs and hugs him as tight, caressing his hair.
"you finally admitted your feelings, idiot."
y/n pulls away and cups his warm cheeks, smushing his face a little which made his lips form a pout. he furrowed his eyebrows at her action. karma leans in and pecks y/n on the lips, and she gasps.
"how dare you be so bold now when you were avoiding me the whole month, tsk"
y/n playfully chided him and he laughed before apologizing and then kissing her again.
-
"oh? i guess both of you are on good terms now?"
kayano nudged your shoulder and you smiled and nodded.
"now you have a chance to get him to like you, y/n!"
y/n looked at karma, who was with nagisa and sugino. and then her phone chimed.
//
karma <3: should we skip class and go on a date? >:)
//
y/n laughed, "i don't think i need to anymore, kayano"
after that, karma and y/n disappeared for the rest of the school day to hang out with each other. ♡
ᵒᵐᵍ 2 ᶠⁱᶜ ⁱⁿ 2 ᵈᵃʸˢ? ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳ ᵇᵉⁱⁿᵍ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵃ ʸᵉᵃʳ ᴴᴬᴴᴬ ⁱ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ᵏᵃʳᵐᵃ ⁱˢ ⁿᵒᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵒᵒᶜ ⁱⁿ ᵗʰⁱˢ, ⁱ ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰᵗ ᵏᵃʳᵐᵃ ʷᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵇᵉ ˢᵒᵐᵉᵒⁿᵉ ʷʰᵒ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ᵈᵉⁿⁱᵉˢ ʰⁱˢ ᶠᵉᵉˡⁱⁿᵍˢ ᵇᵉᶜᵃᵘˢᵉ ʰᵉ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏˢ ⁱᵗ ᵐᵃᵏᵉˢ ʰⁱᵐ ʷᵉᵃᵏ ᴴᴼᴴᴼ
ˢᵒ ᶜᵘᵗᵉ ᵒᵐᵍ
ᵃⁿʸʷᵃʸˢ ⁱ ʰᵒᵖᵉ ʸᵃˡˡ ˡⁱᵏᵉ ᵗʰⁱˢ !
#woke up and chose to write a fic instead of study i love myself#karma is so fking cute omghskjdak#lowkey too sad to write angst stories so i wrote fluffy ones and made myself feel lonelier#do people even read these tags LMAO#future boyfriend i dont mind skipping classes to go on dates im waiting#karma akabane#akabane karma#karma#karma fluff#ansatsu kyoushitsu#karma assassination classroom#assassination classroom#karma x reader
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Hi!
I have horrible OCD and I can’t get my mind to understand the way I need to differentiate between my desired reality and my thoughts.
I’ve been struggling with it for months because of coaches and people always saying our thoughts are what create our reality. Since I’ve come to understand that the 4D and our imagination creates our reality, and reality is an echo of our thoughts, it’s really fucked up my entire faith and I can’t trust my own words and desires anymore.
I can only bring myself to manifest smaller things like money, or clearer skin and longer hair etc because of fears. My mind has convinced me I have illness and that Ill never get to reality shift because of my OCD, and what’s so scary is that it feels so real.
I don’t know what to do anymore, I don’t know how to release this energy of constantly being convinced there’s illness in me or my own parent, I have no idea what I can visualize to make things better because my mind just shows me images of me and my parent sick all day. I don’t know what mindset I can have apart from the fact that reality is an echo of our thoughts.
Do I continue to affirm that my desired thoughts obliterates and destroys my fears of illness even thought I constantly get scary images that feel so real? I don’t have anyone who understands my problems at such a spiritual level and I’ve tried so hard to find meditations exactly for this but none of them fit to my standards.
I’m so tired and I’m almost completely giving up due to how real my OCD feels. It’s always surrounding illness in the stomach area which has created this horrible stuck energy that almost fuels my OCD. When Im most terrified what can I do?
What do I do?
Sorry for the long message! 🫶🏻🥺
Hello!
Surprisingly, this is not the first ask I get about manifesting/shifting while struggling with OCD (I'll leave the links down for you)
First, I have to say this because I can't, in good conscience, give you my advice without letting you know : I am not a professional. Manifestation and loa and shifting are not a replacement for professional help, so if you can, please speak to someone who knows what they're doing when it comes to complex mental health.
You said you can only bring yourself to manifest small things, then you listed things people have been struggling with for months! There are no small or big manifestations, everything is of equal value when it comes to loa, so already you've proven to be a powerful manifestor.
And yet, as powerful as you are, you haven't been able to manifest this illness that plagues your mind. You're not sick, your family is not sick, you're all doing just fine. So why is it that this particular thought didn't manifest when we always say that our thoughts create our realities?
The mind is a complex thing, and your subconscious is a sponge that absorbs whatever you tell it without debate or questions. However, manifesting is not simply thinking a thought and letting it come into your reality. Manifestation requires clear DESIRE. It needs a strong intention and a burning desire for that which you WANT to manifest. If you're thinking a thought and it feels so real and yet the whole time your mind is going " I don't want this! I don't want this outcome! Please don't bring this into my 3d reality, this feels awful, I don't like this! Make it stop" you're signalling to your subconscious mind that this is not a desire, so it gets handled as such.
Intrusive thoughts are just that, a thought that doesn't belong and is intruding on your normal line of thinking. You can't manifest that which you do not desire. Your mind is smarter than that, the universe is smarter than that!
Check out these posts if you have more questions about this, and happy manifesting ❤️
#law of assumption#loassumption#loa tumblr#loa blog#manifesting#loa affirmations#shiftblr#reality shifting#shifting community#shifting#loa success#loablr#master manifestor#affirm and persist#loa#loa advice#affirmations#robotic affirmations#affirmyourreality#actually ocd#mental illness#mental health#shifter#reality shifting community
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A Prison Called Freedom Pt. 2
Aizawa x reader which may or may not be evolving into a Dabi x reader even idk (sorry guys I can't bear but glaze tf out of my divalicious cuntified terroristic king 💔)
Angst
Tw: vague mention of suicide, hospital
link to part 1: https://www.tumblr.com/didyouhangthemoon/786762136662720512/a-prison-called-freedom
Chapter 2:
▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။|||||||• 0:10
I want to go back to bed. But I can't. I'm in a mental ward because all I've ever wanted to do is to go back to bed.
He's here at least. I don't know why he would keep coming back to see me. I can't be the first person he's kept from dying at their own hands. Yet he keeps visiting, asking questions, bringing gifts, and so on. I figured after a few weeks he'd slowly stop visiting, he does have better, more heroic things to do.
Things aren't so hostile anymore, I've hated this white walled, pale blue tile floored medical hellscape. And their little 'don't off yourself 🥺' program didn't work. But he's here, so its not horrible at least.
He mentioned that a nurse told him it was one of my last days, you'd think they'd tell me that too but apparently not.
I'm not particularly hopeful, I'm just tired. I want to go back to bed, my bed.
He last visited three days ago, really early in the morning. He said that the school year is starting back up and he'll have to visit less and at weirder times to fit it in his schedule. He gave me his number but I'm not going to call. I'll be discharged in a few days, he'll hear, he'll call, and I won't pick up. Maybe he'll go to my apartment, I don't know what I'd do then. Play dead? No, that would probably be bad considering my circumstance. Maybe I'll stay with a friend... I hope at least one person would answer my call. It's been a while since I've answered any of theirs. Maybe he won't visit. But something about that feels so... Unnatural at this point.
I really resent how much I've come to like him. He's gentle but firm, he's caring but monitoring, he's distant but he's warm. I don't want to miss him, so I will do everything I can to not think about him, speak to him, or see him. I'll leave here soon and then that's it. I don't need to need anyone. He doesn't really care. He's doing his job. Heroes don't care, I already know this, so I can just repeat it like a mantra everytime he pops into my head.
A heavy sigh escapes my chest and my eyes shut. Nothings happened but im tired.
I want to go back to bed.
જ⁀➴ ♡
(Time skip 2 weeks, sorry I had writers block and this is my solution💔)
જ⁀➴ ♡
I spent my last two weeks in the hospital telling myself I would shut him out. That I wouldn't need help, and even if I did, I wouldn't get it from some hero. But when he showed up at my door to my apartment, I just stared at him. I had braced myself so much and yet I couldn't bring my body to halt. I had prepared so many mean words and arguments and yet my tongue lies still in my mouth.
He steps in and places some takeout on the counter, we don't speak.
Dabi is on the news again. It annoys me because as much as I would die to join the crusade against hero society, I can't even bring myself to leave bed most days. I wonder how people like him, people that are supposed to be miserable and crazy get out of bed. I'm miserable and I'm crazy but I still can't.
When Aizawa notices what's playing, he turns it off immediately, glaring at me like any hero would.
I don't reciprocate the eye contact, rather I slouch down to look through the food he brought before I finally break the silence.
'Ever wonder where we would be if we stopped wasting the word 'hero' on cogs in the machine that reinforce societal classism, patriarchy, and seperation of people?'
'You should tell me all about that in your manifesto. Seems like you're right on the edge of writing one and running off.'
'Can you blame m-'
'Don't tell me you actually think you'd get anywhere. That man- he would rip you into bits and abuse you like nothing you could imagine before tossing you away.'
'Oh really? Do you have any backing to that? Or is it just a stereotype you wanna put on a guy who's threatening your position as a hero?'
'I don't know why you think you know what you're talking about.'
'Look around this shithole and tell me I don't know what it means to be left to rot.'
'You weren't left to rot, don't forget who stopped that.'
'Well if you wanted me to be a good citizen then you should have waited out my door a couple extra minutes. Leave please.'
'What?'
'I'm not letting you stay. Get your food and go, I can't stand the sound of chewing anyways.'
He gives you one more look as he reluctantly leaves without speaking. You sit on the couch sprawled out to turn back on the news while you drink [Insert favorite drink hereฅᨐฅ] like a middle aged alcoholic dad on his porch. All they're taking about is how awful villains are, while they praise heroes again and again and again.
What horse shit.
▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။|||||||• 0:10
End Chapter 2
I have no idea in where this fic is gonna go but its gonna go somewhere, could be x Dabi by the end hell it could be x megamind by the end don't ask me I'm just the writer 💔🥀 hope you liked it
#fanfic#aizawa shouta#aizawa#aizawa x reader#mha#mha x reader#writing#mha dabi#bnha x reader#bnha#dabi#angst
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Im tired (02)
Pairing- Y/N & Fratboy!Chris
Summary- Y/N and Chris are in a situationship and she is tired of hiding her feelings and she wants to be something more with Chris.
Warnings- angst, crying, arguing
Requested?- Yess! By @loveparqdise <3
"I'm tired of this depressing routine for me Chris. And if we want different things, in whatever you call this relationship, then maybe we can't do this anymore."
Chris sat upright on the bed. His hands covered his face and he rubbed his eyes, he dragged his palms down from his cheeks.
"I don't know what you want from me Y/N. You know that I don't want anything like that." He said.
"Well what we do in private doesn't say that!" I spat.
"Y/N, it's complicated." He huffed.
"Well Chris, I'm not accepting this 'love' you have for me because I don't think I deserve it! I deserve more. I shouldn't have to settle with attention only at parties! I shouldn't be ignored if I see you in public with your friends. God, why are you so scared?" All of these words are just flying out of my mouth, without time to process them. But he knows it's all true.
"I'm not scared! I just don't want to get into a relationship where it's one-sided." He declared.
"So your saying if we got into a relationship it would only be me saving it?" I asked confused. "The thing is Chris, you say you don't want anything. But you can't lead me on like this! I am always thinking about you! The only reason I come to these stupid frat parties are for you! And now i'm realising that I would do that for you, but would you do that for me?"
Chris just sat there in silence, again.
"This exactly proves my point." I say. I grab my bag and then head for the bedroom door. Then I head for the stairs.
I had ran out the door in a hurry, I didn't want Chris coming after me. Oh wait he wouldn't do that!
I know i'm being harsh but he has to hear me out, he can't expect me to just suppress these feelings until the end of college. He might be able to do that but I definitely wouldn't last.
I'm on the sidewalk now waking away from the noise of the music. And i was crying. Why was I crying over him? The tears had destroyed my makeup, the mascara covered drops had created black lines down my face. Maybe it represented my broken heart?
I stumbled over to a wooden bench and sat down. I looked up at the starry night and I tried to calm myself down. But I couldn't, all of these unanswerable questions filled my thoughts.
"Am I really that unlovable?"
"Why did Chris use me?"
"Why did Chris waste my time?"
"Does he even care?"
"Does this even bother him?"
I tried to focus on my breathing. It was a breezy night, and goosebumps grazed my skin. I held my arms in my own embrace and I just let my remaining tears fall. I felt doubt rush over me. Was I unreasonable? No I couldn't have been.
I leaned back on the bench and tried to relax. The trees swayed behind me, it gave me a sense of peace, but I was far from it.
God, why can't Chris just love me back?
Banner credits to @issysh3ll <3
Hey guys! I hope you really enjoyed this fic! If you have any suggestions/requests please do not hesitate to send me a quick message, and i will try and get back to you asap! <3
#matt sturniolo#sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo imagine#matt x reader#chris sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#fratboy!chris#.。*゚+.*Remi's corner *.+*゚.。#the sturniolo triplets
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NEW CHAPTER 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉!!!!! my face when that notification popped up:

AND FOR GOOD REASON BABYYYY!! A BANGING CHAPTER AS ALWAYS, MAY YOUR MOTIVATION TO WRITE NEVER CEASE GOD BLESS
NOW LET‘S GET INTO IT 😝😝
the first half of the chapter was so so sweet, so nice to oscar - too nice. i should have suspected you‘d want to break my heart again before the promised happy ending. don‘t lock your doors tonight, i‘m coming to pay you a visit 🤗.
no but fr i loved the moment between max and oscar and especially max‘ description at the beginning where he was still asleep. pointing out how young and tired he looked kinda reminded me that they don‘t really know what they‘re doing. none of them wanted to hurt another, but they unintentionally did and now they‘re trying to fix it. also oscar fighting his instinct of scenting him is so important to me like. the fear of loving someone again after being hurt is insane and you‘re writing it perfectly.
now the reminder of the world outside of the little bubble they had built in their home and of how the relationship was like before it all came to a head was brutal for oscar. honestly the pure panic that everything would go back to how it was would have me crashing out way worse than he did.
but then the stomach wrenching “I don’t know if we’re good for each other anymore.” would have me throwing up on the floor. like i had to put my phone down for a second and look at the ceiling for a while. i mean i get where he‘s coming from, truly, but what the fuck?? just dropping a BOMBSHELL like that???
„Charles had never hated himself more.“ had me crying as well ☺️. because yeah he can‘t change that he loves what he does and it hurt his bond insanely. but this time he will make changes to support the ones he loves. charles and max are so set on proving how much oscar matters to them and helping him recover, i know they will do everything they can not to repeat the same mistakes. but will it be enough?
sorry this got so long again, i just love every single chapter of yours too much to shorten it. also do you want me to write these in the comments of your fic or on here? i don‘t know what‘s better, so pls tell me your preference if you have one. LOVE YOU MY HEART 🫶🫶🫶🫶
I LOVE OUR CHAPTER DEBRIEFS HIIIII <33333
will be triple checking my locks tonight 😬 but you're right. the fact that they didn't mean to hurt him, always twist the knife for me. but the lack of intention doesn't undo the damage done.
and for oscar struggling with scenting, perfectly said !! i wrote the scene of him scenting back (coming soon 👀) a long long time ago and im so excited to see your reactions to it ! i hope you like it !! yup yup yupp. the outside world unfortunately does exist and that scene was sort of a challenge for myself lmao. i wanted to try and write oscar's panic from charles' pov, while charles is filled with worry himself and yea def focused more on the worry part than oscar's panic but oscar's sudden and almost random timing with questioning their relationship and their compatibility also is a result of that panic (don't know if that resonated to the other side but yea)
hope you're feeling better lmao. in my defense, it seems i cannot survive writing a chapter without a dose of angst :)
will it be enough at all?
don't apologise ever for sending lengthy messages. i love them. i love answering them <3 and i don't have a preference ! i can tag them here and send stupid reaction pics but if you want to leave them in ao3, that's totally fine too ! whatever is more comfortable to you !
#im tired and idk my sentences are making sense oop#also this chapter was supposed to have logan in it lol#lyubovv & ren's chapter debriefs#formula 1#charles leclerc#max verstappen#formula 1 rpf#formula 1 fic#lestapiastri#ren answers#oscar piastri
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Hi, Miss Jade!
First of all- Happy Birthday!!!!😌✨⭐🔥🎉👹🎉🔥
(Sorry,I think the 👹 one is funny)
I hope you're doing well, and that your personal life is as beautiful and bright as you are!😌
I sent you some messages a while ago, because I was just curious about some of your philosophies on life and how you continued to trek through the caverns and valleys of life(and I maybe just needed someone to get some advice).
I explained some of my personal circumstances, including struggling with my father kinda just dipping on my family and doing that one disappearing meme before my graduation(which is probably actually a good thing with the kind of guy he was, dw), and leaving my mother and siblings behind to go to college.
A lot has changed since then and while I'm no longer struggling with leaving my family alone, life has become difficult in a different way. My mother, someone that should NOT(medically) be doing the physical labour she does, is always taking overtime at her job(granted we do need it but I'm worried). and while our family has improved in the mental health category, we still do suffer at times.
So, my question to you was: How do you continue through difficult circumstances? How do you face hardships in life and just keep going? Did you keep going? Or did you do something else?
Im sorry if this is personal, and I'm even more sorry if this opens personal wounds. I don't mean any harm, and if this ask is offensive please just ignore me.
I just kinda don't know what to do anymore. I know I just graduated and am going out into the world- and I know that as a young person I should be happy. Excited, even. But right now, I just sort of don't see myself as having a future. Both due to today's economy(in the US at least) and current legislation(also in the US). Or having a future outside of just working to support my family.
And it might be selfish but I want more than that. I want a life outside of that. I wanna be able to write and read and make friends and have a girlfriend and all that cool stuff without being perpetually burnt out and tired. Which, I know some people would call me lazy for, my dad's voice in particular is what I'm hearing, but it's true.
Anyway, sorry for the vent. Just wondering how you've managed to make it through life up until the point you've gotten to.
Once again, I'm sorry if this is offensive and please just ignore me if it is.
Oh, and, I almost forgot. Can I be the 🍃smoshi? She/her and 18 years old.
Hi, sweet Smoshi. And thank you for the birthday wishes. Even if it was last month, it still warms me.
Now, come closer, my dear. Let’s sit with this together. Because I read every word you shared, and I want you to hear me when I say this: you are not selfish. You are not lazy. And you certainly are not wrong for wanting a full, beautiful life outside of survival.
What you’re dealing with is heavy. A sense of responsibility that’s far too big for one pair of young shoulders, even ones as brave and strong as yours. You’ve had to grow up faster than you should. And now you’re standing at the edge of your own future, already tired.
So let me tell you this, darling girl: there is more to life than this. More than just working to hold everything together. More than just being the reliable one. More than just surviving.
And you’re allowed to reach for it.
You asked how I made it through hard times. And the truth? I didn’t always keep going. At least not in the way people might expect.
There were moments I let the world stop. I let the hurt in. I let myself fall apart a little, because trying to keep going with broken pieces only leaves you bleeding in silence. But what I did keep was the belief that there was something, someone, maybe even just one moment, worth rising for again.
Sometimes we don’t walk steadily through our hardships. Sometimes we crawl, we ache, we cry in parking lots and laugh at the wrong time just to feel human again. And that’s still moving forward. Still living.
What saved me wasn’t strength. It was softness. It was writing stories no one read. It was whispering to the moon that I was tired. It was choosing joy in small things even when nothing made sense. It was having people who didn’t try to fix me, but simply said, “I see you.”
So let me say that to you now:
I see you. I see the strength it took to write to me. I see the heartbreak and the resilience tangled all together. I see the girl who wants a life. Who wants joy and kisses and books and laughter. And I want that for you too.
You're allowed to want more than just getting by. You're allowed to dream of love, of rest, of art. You're allowed to build a future that feels like yours, even if you have to fight for it piece by piece.
So take your time. There’s no finish line here. Just steps. Little ones. And I’ll be here, whenever you need a soft place to land or someone to vent to.
And that leaf 🍃 is yours now, precious.
xo Miss Jade
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