#i dont know how i feel about thjs..

[l0rd-0f-c0ws]

I frequently feel completely isolated no matter how much I talk to people. So that's fun

[connormoving]

its so real bc ill be sitting and my brain will be like. *irrational thought* and im like Heh... not today... that thought is irrational and reactive and you won't catch ME freaking out about it. Fuck but what if its true *starts crying*

[b1mbodoll]

idk if vamp!enha thoughts are still open (if not, just ignore this <3) but if they are...

vamp!wonnie has been your boyfriend for a while now. he doesn't know how to tell you his little secret so he warms you up to it by introducing biting in and out of the bedroom (he tells you they're love bites !!!). but as time goes on he gets really desperate n decides to manipulate you so you don't run away!! meaning he tells you outright and BEGS for your blood SO dramatically,, like he would die without it. you're kinda iffy about it but he's been waiting for so long that he just sinks his little fangs into your neck and drinks from you without your permission. it makes you a bit drowsy and he loves the view,, taking advantage of how limp you are by pushing your panties aside and just rutting into you on his blood-high. and when you eventually come back to your senses, he lies to you n tells you you asked him to bite you. you obviously believe it because he's just soso good with his words and it becomes a regular thing. the next time the two of you have sex, he goes down on you beforehand n nips your clit while telling you how sweet you taste...

(sorry i think i went a little crazy here but vamp!hoon and vamp!won do things to me)

p.s. ilysm and i hope you have the bestest day ever baby!!

🧵

pairings: yang jungwon x f! reader

warnings: noncon + blood + biting + monsterfucking + oral + masochism

💌: oh my baby thjs is… so very…yeah 😵‍💫 AGHHH I CANT STOP THINKING AB HIM GOING DOWN ON U AND PRESSING LITTLE BITES TO UR CUNT LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE DEMON DEMON UR A DEMON WITCH!!!!!!!!!! (affectionate)

it’s not that jungwon doesn’t trust you, it’s that he doesn’t trust himself to not take advantage of you after he tells you about his vampirism. knows he’ll come to you whenever he wants, as often as he wants for just a lil taste n knows you’ll gladly comply cus he’s ur sweet lil wonie n you dont want him goin’ hungry :(

before outright telling you he decides to try out biting in the bedroom. presses mouthy kisses to the expanse of your neck n licks the tiny little holes his fangs leave behind, too afraid to full on bite you bc he doesnt know if he’ll be able to control himself. he’s already itching for more as the small drops of blood collect on his tongue.

“‘m sorry princess, ‘m so fuckin��� sorry” is the last thing you hear, jungwon too wound up to stop himself from biting down hard n he drinks your blood til it smears on his chin and stains his teeth.

the opportunity is too good to pass up and he doesnt even bother taking your panties off before he slips his cock inside as he continues to feed from you, moaning deeply and sucking hard, his teeth puncturing so deep inside it makes more and more blood gush out.

jungwon’s sure he accidentally drank too much but when you wake up ditzy and begging for him to do it again he smiles before making his way between your thighs.

“knew you’d like the pain, feels good doesn’t it angel?” his words are slightly muffled as he licks over ur panty covered pussy, dampening the soft material with drool and your own juices.

his venom makes you desperate for more and has you pushing his head into your cunt forcefully, his long n sharp fangs accidentally grazing your vulva and shredding your panties.

once the blood hits his tongue jungwon just gives in to his instincts. shoves you into the bed as he sloppily makes out with your bare pussy and bites along your thighs every now and then. the poor vamp can’t bring himself to part with your wet hole n ends up catching your clit between his lips, fangs poking and prodding at your sensitive nub which makes you cum instantly, mind hazy and body sore as the pain from each and every bite begins to make itself known.

[ge]

its so exciting because lico gives such unique facial features to the characters… like rn we have the Offical art of Tang Bo but hes (while cool) more of just an airbrushed pretty boy. (/affectionate) im excited for the Features.

will he have bushy eyebrows? a tall nose? FRECKLES? what about his cheekbones? how green will his eyes be? WILL they be green? how tall is he? how tall compared to the PBSS? how tall compared to the Divine Dragon? ohhhhh im sofjfjshcfkfjfj AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

& you know whatever he looks like will influence fanart from now on just like how the webcomic has done to other characters before! so get yer headcanons in before its too late L0L- ugh im so excited !!

RIGHTTT the facial diversity in the webcomic is part of the reason i love it so much.. i have a feeling they might go the bland main character route where the only distinctive trait he gets is green eyes but in my heart he has a big beautiful aquiline nose (similar to baek sang) and monolids, and we cant forget my brown eye bias..

YOU ALSO JUST REMINDED ME..HIS HEIGHT.. I THINK WE ALL JUST ASSUME HES TALLER THAN CHUNG MYUNG BUT WAS IT EVER REALLY STATED HE WAS..? WHAT IF HES SHORTER THAN HIM..…i dont want to think about thjs if hes shorter than geomjon i might kill myself

[violntfemme]

urrrhhhhhvggggg i try not to make vent posts a whole ton but alas, ya girl is not doing so hot

tw// sh😁

guys do not do what i did and like. purposely trigger yourself with your own sh from a year ago because oh my god in. its. i feel so absolutely fake my scars were so much worse last year and now theyre just gone and i thought i was fully recovered its bren a year and. and im still crying over it and i thought i was done crying over it. I thought i was done crying over literal scars and i was. i mean i thought i was exaggerating when i said the closrr i get to the date ill br one year clean its getting worse and. nope! no, no that checks out!!

Its all my fault i got triggered in the first placr too. I knew what i had in my eyes only wnd i knew that checking it would only make me spiral and here i am just. crying over it. its sending me back to last year where its i just its only oj my hod i csnt be doing this again i really csnt be doingthis again ive bren doing so well and then. and i dont want to i really dont but im still tjinking about it and im still telling myself i want to but i dont i never did i always wanted to say ive been 1 year clean but i dont think ill rver even be able to make it to that point if i keeo self sabotaging like this. i mean t barely even counts ive basically just replaced cvtting with eevry other unhealthy coping mechanism under the sun but i should be better than this i shouldnt rven be thinking sbout it i shouldnt even be thinking that i can go back i shoulfny be in this situation at all and if it werent for me i wouldnt even be in this situation in the first placr ebcause i dont know how to keep myself away from tjings that i really need to stay away from

i really shouldnt be caught ip on this but its. i was. i was thinking aboht whag would happen if i would look back on photots earlier and and i knew i wouldnt be okay with it i knew i would snap the moment i did and wow its almost like forced recov only made me feel guilty for it and ohmygod kill me now i should be better than this i should be better than thjs ive had crisis called so many times ive been threatened by my parents for this so many times im worrying eveyrone around me and im only getting worse and everyone has to wastch me spiral but they cant do anything because im jsut too fucking oblivious to my own issues but im just too scared to readh out to anyone because how am i gonna say that i triggered myself without sounding like i planend this i didnt i swear i didnt plan to break down over this i promise i didnt mean for it i didnt want to cry over it i dont want to think abiut it anf i dont want to go back ive been doing sowell i swear im just worrying rveryone i dont want everyone to start checking in on mr in the morning just to make sure im still alive i font want people to messagr me in the middle of the night to make sure im not dead im so sorry ik so sorry

im just as tired as i was last year the only difference is thst im not actively trying to kill myself over it even if i really. wiuld like to thats besides the point the point is im just as weak of a girl as i was last year but last year i could at least hanfle pain now i just fucking snap whenever someone raises their voice or whenever i get. acut i break down and whenever i get hurt it only reminds me of the past 4 years that ive spent doing nothing but putting myself through mental hell and im realizing tbat ill never get begger i cant get better ive bren trying and i just csnt

i cant do it ive tried ive been trying why am i not getting anywhere why am i still stuck on the thought of sh i shouldnt be thinking about it i shouldnt miss it i shouldnt be upset that my scars are faded i shouldnt still have the ideas and images swirling aorund in my head because theyre always there and ill always have these scars and ill always br fucked ip and i wont ever be able to fix it ive had so many people worry and theyre worrying and worrying and i just dont care im such a horrible person i

i shiuldvr stopped for my parents they had to skin check me dsily for almodt a year straight and here i am just fucking itching to go grab something, literally anything just to go back and in so stupid im so stupid i did this to myself and im still being a pussy about it i shouldnt be thinming abiut it i shouldnt be crying over it whats wrong withme

[dhampir-omu-rot]

HEY it’s @shrimpychipz on anon here to give you my latest brain rot also sorry for posting that and then immediately falling asleep I cannot escape the eepyness…..

ANYWAYS I don’t know how you feel about diapered Mista but I feel quite unnormal about it recently (my brain has been running nonstop thinking about it)

I’ll list some hcs:

I feel like he probably started wearing them sometime after he joined passione

half because he had a littlespace and half because he literally needed them

not cause he’s incontinent or anything because he just goes to the bathroom so often and now that he’s in the mafia he can’t afford to waste that kind of time

ALSO FORGOT TO MENTION . FUGO IS HIS CG I DONT KNIW HOW YOUFEEL ABOUT THJS BUT THEIR SO FRIENDS WHO ARENT PARTNERS BUT ARE DEFINITELY SWITCHING

did I mention fugo was his CG. And that they switch . and fugo has a littlespace too . and Mista is his CG

wait back to Mista before I forget

anyways they totally have like such a teasing attitude towards each other. Like enough of ‘CGs who are their littles corresponding partners and are super soft and delicate and treat their littles like their made of glass’ which is a good trope but we don’t get enough ‘CGs who accept and are just willing to help out their friends who happen to be littles (and also lovingly tease them relentlessly about it)’

fugo will totally tease the life out of mista I bet he was the one who accidentally found out Mista wears diaps and they were like

“Oh. It’s ok I get it”

AND THEN WALKED OUT AND MISTA JUST STOOD THERE LIKE????? HUH??

then it wasn’t until fugo explained he had a littlespace too that Mista understood

vice versa for fugo when he’s in littlespace too btw he will not hear the end of it from mista

OK I think I spouted enough garbage (I have more but this is starting to get a lot tbh 😨)

You read my mind cus I was thinking abt padded Mista !

(and padded richter )

[chickenskydiver]

TW: Vent

I hate doing things like this. I hate throwing my problems out there into the world but I just can’t fucking stay quiet anymore I fucking can’t. If you know me in real life don’t read this. Preferably. And don’t bring it up irl. I’m sorry if you do read it. I’m really sorry

im being serious if I know you I would prefer if you didn’t read this

this isn’t about any one person specifically it’s my whole life if you know me so don’t fucking ruin things worse for me

So do I ever get a choice? At this point I just feel like a punching bag. Why should I give everything up and I fucking hate the fact I feel bad because I can’t I can’t and I want to! I feel so damn stupid! I feel fucking disgusted with myself I don’t want to fucking keep hearing it and that makes me so damn SELFISH I don’t want to be like that but how am I supposed to tell those people that. It’s not things I can control and they keeep asking for help but I’m just a kid! I can’t do anything fucking else! I don’t know what to do and I should! I FUCKING SHOUKD KNOW WHAG TO DO AND HOW TO MAKE EVERYTHING BETTER I SHOULD KNOW BUT MY OPTIONS ARE NEVER CONSIDERED! ITS NOT FAIR TO JUST HAVE TO LISTEN TO PEOPLE DROWN ME BECAUSE IT FUCKING HURTS IT HURTS REALLY DAMN BAD AND I CANT TELL ANYONE! I CANT BECAUSE IF IT GETS OUT I WOULD SEEM TERRIBLE! I JUST WANT RHEM TO GET BETTER THATS ALL I WANT! IM SO TIRED OF DROWNING I ALREADY WANT TO BE DROWNED I CANT BE THE SHOULDER TO LEAN ON I CANT BE A ROCK BECAUSE IM WITHERING AWAY FUCKING AWAY. THEY WANT ME TO OPEN UP BUT HOW CAN I SAY I WANT IT ALL TO END I WANT TO GIVE UP THAT I HATE MYSELF J HATE MY SKIN I HATE BEING WHO I AM HOW CAN I SAY THAT TO THEM WITHOUT MAKING THEM WORRY! ILL LET THEM DO IT TO ME ANYDAY BUT I CANT PUT THEN THROUGH THAT! I JUST KEEP HEARING RHE SAME THINF ‘I couldn’t do it’ WELL I CANT FUCKING DO IT ANYMORE I JUST WANT EVERYTHING TO GO QUIET! I CANT BE SAD BECAUSE THEY CAN ALWAYS BE SADDER AND I FEEL LIKE I CANT BREATHE LIKE I CANT WALK INTO A AREA WITHOUT HAVING TO MASK MYSELF WITH A FACADE THAGS NOT TRUE! I DONT EVEN KNOW IF IM HAPPY OR NOT ANYMORE I DONT JNOW TO BE MAD OR SAD BECAUSE THERW SHOULD ALWAHS BE SOMEONE WORSE THAN ME I HATE WRITING THIS IT MAKES ME WANT TO THROW UP BUT I NEED THIS TO BE SOMEWHERE IN THE FUCKING UNIVERSE! I NEED SOMEONE IN THE WORLD TO GLANCE AT THIS AND THEN GO BACK TO THEIR OWN LIVES LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED I JUSG NEED TO GET IT OUT THERE IM SORRY UOY HAD TO READ THJS IM SORRY I POSTED THIS I KNOW IT PROBABLY MADE YOUR DAY WORSE IM SORRY IM SO SORRY IF YOURE SOMEONE I KNOW IM SORRY IM SO SORRY

[innocentmachine]

severance ep7 liveblogging just literally my stream of consciousness not much analysis or actual substance in this ok thjs is just how i need to process sometimes

oh my god meeting gemma for the first time. holy shit. oh my godddd shes so charmoing and beautiful and full of personality and ALIVE wow i cant. oh my god and theyre so cute meeting each other at theBLOOD DONATION!!!!!! THATS MY DREAM MEETCUTE I WAS DONATINF BLOOD LIKE 2 DAYS AGO ommhgg her smile is so gorgeous

she getting blood testing for illness? ? seems like blood testinf vials. also this seems like a lumon doctor

UUUU MARK PLEASE WAKE UP AND BE OK

poor devon )))))))): devon so worried ohhh shes so nervous about losing him and him getting hurt and she misses gemma TOO, gemma was her friend too shes been clear about that

wtf are they making gemma read. what are these meters measuring also hi new doctor character . oh cool we get to see her living quarters and everything. hey this red dress and headband outfit is cute though but also you definitely look dressed up like a doll being taken to a performance or presentation or something

OH THESE ARE THE NAMES OF THE MACRODATA FILES!! THE ROOMS. and the whistling is the export hall guy do we get to see his face finally. oh my god oh no ms casey yohre so sad and timid ohhhhh no im so sorry oh no. oh what the fuck why are we doing dentist phobia hell now jesus christ (also why did they need to give her that outfit for that if it was judt dentistry)

mark ::D OHH GEMMA LITERATURE PROFESSOR MODE WAHHHH HER LONG HAIR GEMMA SO PRETTY AND YOU SEEM LIKE A LOVELY PERSON. hey mark what the fuck oh my god. oh my god you DUMBASS HAHAHAHAHA THE "ohhhh shiiit...." lol

these two are killing me theyre so in love ohh i love how warm and soft and full of flowers and plants and timethese scenes are im gonna cry

wow i LOVR this montage

mark i would be an alcoholic if this had been what i lost too i understand you man

god its so awesome how there are plants everywhere because gemma loves them and i love how mark looks so happy and put together with his shorter hair and the bit of facial hair he just seems youngwr great design

GEMMA I LOVE YOUR FACIAL ACTING AND AHHHHHHH HOLY shit awesome transition to further in time. WOW i already feel like the directinf in this is insanely good

did mark not know she was pregnant or did she not tell?? him ?? ohhhhh girl .. your body had abortion that just happens to people sometimes im so sorry

another incredible transition sequence, i dont want to even blink, the color design to dark greens is amazing here

whats.. what is the point of them having these counterparts who are watching them like this ??????

omg ms casey tried to rebel with violence ?? WHATS WITH THese OUTFITS

i cant get enough of these prolonged shots with as few cuts as possible..

hmm at the fertility healthcare office? haha awesome the intake form has preferred pronoin # wokefertilityhealthcareoffice hey maybe thats how she got involved with lumon

she really is the damn guinea pig. are they trying to test more of severance barriers by asking her memory. yeah. whats the point of this we already figured out that they cant rememeber anything why do you need to keep trying to confirm. youve been doing this for 12 years.

gemma just . wants to see mark again and get out of this hellhole oh my god. i was worried that she was here of her own free will u know? like thst she chose to be there and joined lumon voluntarily which might have been the case initially we dont know

devon youve been here all night please make sure your baby is ok btw. DEVON DONT TALK TO COBELVIG THATS A REALLY BAD IDEA. but also of course i want to know what shes DOING

holy shit the iconographs actually mean something they mean ego death. so the clinic IS run by lumon

oh no .. rheyre arguing .... nnnnnoo .. nnoo.. theyre disconnected and upset nnooooo PLANT IS GETTING DARKER LIKE THEIR RELATIONSHIP MARK DONT BE AN ASSHOLE even if youre FRUSTRATED come onn

wow ms casey youre really going through it. is this your first time experiencing turbulence that was a funny scene. whats with the hairstyles

why is she a doll.

HAHAHFHAH STUPID SWEATER

seriously why do they need to be watched this closely if they dont know what theyre refining

ms casey im.. so sorry for this. im so sorry. SHE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO WRITE BUT SHES TRYINF SO HARD oh god. this is . so bad .

its always christmas. i love you?????? WHAT ??????? is this part of the work or is he harassinf her

gemma u truly are so beautiful and oh god breaking apart the baby cradle just like their relationship fracturing. theyre giving up. ILL BE SEEING YOU ???? LOVE TRANSCENDING SEVERANCE. ILL BE SEEING YOU LIKE GRIEF SEEING HER IN EVERYRHING AFTER SHE DIES. but they still love each orher and comfort each other after everythinf

mark and gemma im so sorry. this is heartbreaking. she couldnt finish her pie..

THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TORMENT IS TOO MUCHHHHH

DR MALER LEAVE HER ALONNe //NOW HES LYJNG TO TRY TO KEEP HWR HERE? IM GOING TO KILL YOU?// her expression is so. angry and defiant and HOLY SHIT YES HEY REMEMBER TO ALWAYS DOUBLE TAP TO MAKE SURE YOUR VICTIM IS DEAD BECAUSE YOU ONLY HIT HIM ONCE GEMMA HES GONNA GET UP

uey who is that. this is now horror sequence. hey im scared as fuck OH SHIT

lol mark hates charades and types on a typewriter. nerd (this user also used to write papers on typewriter)

ms casey im so so nervous for you right now my tics are going off

milchick your improvised lie is very bad. ms casey dont give up please i love you. please youroutie tried so hard to get out nnnnnnnnOOOOOOOO NOOOO

you ever wonder if the history that mark scout teaches is also influenced by lumon changing everythinf oh god oh fuck gemma im so sorry

oh wow so lumon paid off the police to show up at marks place and tell him what happened. waited for them to be alone to kidnap her and separate them

i really appreciate how realistically emotive gemma is. it feels so jarring because of how well ms casey is portrayed with the stunted social growth

heyyyyy mark what up man yeah your brain surgeon left because i lowkey threatened her bad. be careful man you just got out of a coma

im gonna start crying too bud that was heartbreaking. the close up of his face and gemmas smile. oh man. THANKS SEVERANCE LOVE YOU OKAY EPISODE SAD REALLY SAD BUT I LOVE YOU ALSO SO MANY MORE QUESTIONS OKAY LOVE YOU SEE YOU NEXT WEEK

[star--garden]

Googles how to ask ur therapist to not fucking talk about your headmates like theyre just fucking genetic spawn of you or another vestigial limb, and that theyre just people and should be treated as such and i do not give a fuck if they think theyre a facet of my idk trauma or personality or who gives a shit; just bc i share similarities with a few does not mean they are just some sort of. Tumor of mine or whatever. Me and fucking joe rogan can both think labradors are super cool and great dogs amd we just love them so so much. But i am not joe rogan and he is not me. Maybe we even played pokemon as kids and have a weird relationship with our parent. Still not a fucking facet of one another.

Its frustrating bc i know shes not trying to be mean or anything. But BPD +one/two headmates Really Do Not Fucking Vibe with being not considered (even subconsciously) as their own fucking autonomous person, really like. Its a fucking nasty feeling yknow?

Everyone else doesnt give a fuck. Welt doesnt care, barbie could give a shit less about what people think, luckys just. Hibernating etc. But lyney thinks its kinda fuckin rude and frem straight up is like haha no do NOT fucking lump me in with the host haha that. Thats fucked up.

And no!!! I dont care why he thinks that way. Im bot gonna hold him under a sink and yell at him to tell me why bc quite fucking frankly its not my damn business!!!

All i know is that its my responsibility for the main bitch of the pack to stand up for and advocate for my dudes autonomy. Bc we all deserve to be treated with respect.

Idk where the fhfk i was gonna end thjs bc i am so so so fucking tired. But yeah. I get where shes cominf from shes not experienced wjth this shit it mag be her first time etc whatever. But like. It feels fucking gross to try and insinuate that me and one of my headmates are just. Idk. The same person ew ew. Ew.

Like, yeah i did kin frem before he was a headmate but it was clear once that happened that he was his own person, we just shared some things from the game lore in common. And i have a connection with him for that. But like. There are some bitches that ARE me. Like Welt. Just. In the future. And possibly PROBABLY fischl was the past but im. Shes not in the headspace thank god and i can just. Assume that that was the case bc holy fuck we are the same person.

But yeah . Anyway whatever, this is why i call myself plural. I use headmates as the term bc its the most casual. I usually call them My Guys or The Guys. Bc thats what they are. Theyre my guys. Fuck labels man u dont label ur friends like that theyre just ur friends

Okay sleep time

[sunken-bird]

I carved for the first time today in a fashion to draw pain and leave symbol. It has been years since it's been nothing but a scrape, a nick, a line… i made sure that I will forever be able to see thjs brand. This momento to my failures and continued loss. What faith can I have on this disgusting being. It's inhuman

Help it takes me away… ICARUS PLEASE LISTEN!!!

Hollow again…. The monster…. It is still there… It's dragging me down… I can't keep it at bay much longer and I am throwing every little thing I have at it. It will not suffice the hunger deep within. It's clawing, tearing me apart inside. I have done all I can but give in… I am afraid of what will happen if I were to do so.

The deep growls… The heat… The pain in my chest that feels like my heart is stopping, being squeezed, the pressure is so great I pray it's my heart just straining to continue, but I know I am not that lucky to be granted a relief from this place though it seems my existence has been nothing but a pain to those I care for. I have starved this creature over time… But… It is… Becoming so… Worrisome.

My sound mind is screaming, crying, flooding my psyche with salted waters, trying to put out the fire within… Drown the bastard… Kill it… I don't know! Make it STOP! It floods my thoughts with these vile things, old coping mechanisms, old habits, old EVERYTHING!!! I moved last this I wish for peace please… Please, this is insanity. I am trying to keep out of the loop, the cycle! I can't! I can't be like this!

I feel it growing stronger, it keeps me awake at night, gripping and clawing at my psyche…. It knows I'm weak… It knows everything about me, and I it… But I am alone here… I am alone… Staring it in the face… Knowing it has the upper hand… I have never had a good poker face… And the descent has begun…

The battle… The duel… The guerilla attacks… I… “ I am trying… I have done… Nothing… To help…. I have failed everyone around me… “ ‘ NO STOP I TRIED I TRIED I TRIED!!! I WASNT FINISHED I AM TRYING!!! I DONT KNOW HOW GO DO THIS OR WANT TO LIVE BUT IM TRYING!!! IM TRYING! ‘

…..

……..

“ It matters little… I remain. “

….

………

‘Please… Please…. Please…. I… have to continue… For them… Even if it destroys everything…. If I… die… I undo it all.’

“You release them from your disgusting hold… Give in to me.”

‘ I can't… Not yet… I can't… No matter how alone I am… No matter how alone I will be.. I can bleed, but I can not expire. ‘

The voices are a whirlwind inside my brain… The words…

Icarus has…. Begun to fall…. From the warm sky…. Towards the welcoming waves… How long before I follow?

[rini-rushed]

a long journaling 😪

oh my god FUCK ME

maybe i don’t sleep enough that’s why im breaking out

but that doesn’t make sense, i’ve been sleeping at 11 for a long time

ISNIT CAUSE OF DAY LIGHT SAVINFS ???

I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW IT WORKS IN THJS SHIT COUNTRYYYRYD

also any tips to stop moving during tests and exams, or yk

stop moving around in general for when i’m sitting down

anyway i’m glad swimming is done but that just means i have art and i ducking hate my art teacher, but i’ll deal with her

i have to

i have to deal with this ginger bitch or else i won’t be drawing at all

ok in the chat i over exaggerated, as in, i could care less but care more about a bunch of things in my life rn

i only identify as agender because i don’t care about what gender i am, not because i have any sort of dysphoria

i don’t want to think about the gender of my partner and idc what i was born as, im still a bitch

what if my friends actually don’t like me?

one of them said they’re happy there’s no one who likes girls in their grade (i’m pansexual, and while i don’t strictly like girls, i care enough to think back to it but i don’t care enough to expand on that)

i don’t care for like a lot of things, and i feel like im becoming superficial as a person

like now i’m doing short term solutions to back track my long term issues that have been possibly proved(?) to be slowly eating me away

i’m starting to discredit who i was like 3 weeks ago and now i think im being an irrational little bitch

like middle school me, the mother fucker i rather die than revert back to

i’m sleepy

i can’t listen to myself 😪

[glitterbust]

Restless legs syndrome is prbably my least favorite knee sensation. Heres some childhood stuff that also makes my cpu overclock (reddit rant#2)

r/chronohaul

Man i wish i coud just do an audio message on here but im not doxxing myself im a [probably] autistic highschool girl who gets mass downvoted every few weeks. Anyway ive been thinking 🤔 I've been thinking 😁 idk how the Yakuza works and idc to learn cause thats a little too #real yanno so if I'm off the mark here i dont give a dam. But theres two ways the whole school thing can go: they go to whatever school together and probably don't speak to anyone other than each other (kai out of disgust, sickness etc, hari out of "ok that's what kais doing and i dont really have the desire to do anything else so I'll just follow him around [thats actually a pretty succinct chronostasis character analysis in general]"). i imagine kai would struggle with germs and stuff and hari would stand guard casually outside of broom closets and bathroom stalls while he had breakdowns in there (lost kitten by metric moments! listen to it now When you come undone i cover you uuuuppp) and then kai would just come back out not really looking any better and say Okay lets go.

And the other angle is the two of them confined to the hideout, the youngest in the building so having next to no one to ask for help with questions from the textbooks tht were requested to be procured by pops . This one Low Key makes me insane cause it completely recontextualizes them. Like wdym you two literally only had each other through your entire childhood and now you just say shit like "sorry 4 the wait i was trying to keep our trail clear" "thanks" likw HUH HUH

even the idea of them going to school together does that to me cause i doubt they ever talked to anyone but each other so. A little more socially adapted but still very isolated situation.

This would create The most insane codependency youve ever seen. Literally only having one other person your age who completely understands your living situation would drive you insane. The more i think about them the less likely i feel like it is to ever do deep character analyses on either of them without coming to the conclusion that they Cannot survive without each other. And that's gay as hell.

One more thing. Is the idea that they knew what their roles as adults were going to be. At a certain age they would cease to be friends and become boss and employee. And. They knew thjs the whole time. Allll the training chrono did tk become a marksman was done with the knowledge in mind that he was going to directly serve kai. How do u liveeee with ur best friend knowing ur gonna be directly subordinate to him indefinitely.&."!&!&!"!*!_!&! What did this knowledge do to their baby psyches. (It made them more codependent).

So non e of this stuff about them growing up in the organization together is evr confirmed but like ... if chrono was friends w kai as a child and then joined the shie hassaikai later in life i kinda doubt he would have as much admiration fkr what kai does for ut bc chrono does show a devotion for the SH. Hes like This is 4 the gang!!! And gets stabbed its like that vine with the guy shooting a basketball and saying This one is to end racism and then missing the shot. So to me this is my canon just cause it makes sense. And if it came out that chronos joining the sh was a "quit yr job" "why" "join my emo band" scenario well I'm gonna be really upset

Anyway just to be clear the potential autism isnt the reason i talk weird i just think its funny and Freeing to use weird diction and go off on tangents. The potential autism is definitely the reason i spend half an hour writing these things though. Love you all (no one is reading this) 💖

[baby-prophet]

wait new futurama?

[rosepetalsthings]

.

[nemjun]

brain machine make sad

[spiderton]

Spiderton headcanons. Go

anon i love you forever. anyway SORRY I DIDNT ANSWER THJS INSTANLY IM A LAZY ASS BUT HERES A LOT. OR A FEW. depends

- spiderton is somewhere always in his mid 30s or late 20s, probably.. changes up? maybe he was 28 when he was apart of the military and then 35(?) after most of the events of patapon tbh. who knows how long the rainbow bridge took to built though

- theres many ways that spiderton couldve joined the war but thanks to a friend i just hc'd that he was a mechanic that worked on most of the mechanical side of the zigoton empire. hes interested in tanks of course (because he got taught likw that rosetinted version of war in school or something) and on the side i feel like he also enjoys architecture and weaponary. he often compliments kharmas home but never herself becayse shes a little tooo mean to him

- and speaking of tanks the tank spiderton built (he built it. to clarify here although some think its just whatever demons they made a deal with) was rushed due to fhe conditions of patapons slowly beating up troops and resources going low, and with gong basically dead he rushed the tank up andnwent to battle inexperienced. the original sketches of the ziggerzank were probably so much more ambitious and grand, like the zugagang that probably had plenty of time to be built compared to.. ziggerzank and all. and really he doesnt like being a fan of being uncredited for his work whatsoever

- very minor hc but he probably wore some specialized gloves to even use the fire lance. zigotons biologically wise to me have pretty weak skin underneath the fur, and spiderton has pawpads that can easily burn, and often fire enchanted weapons feel BOILING hot so. he wore basically oven mittens that are actually flexible. they werent comfy to wear and sometimes when training he even forgot them and got burnt a little even (and hes embarrassed by that honestly)

- autistic and disabled. disabled wise it switches i think but mainly, if he lived, he ended up getting partial (? could be using this wrong feel free to tell me) leg paralysis because whatever beatup he got was NOT good on his spinal cordhe ended up keeping winona to help with walking sometimes (shes not really the best) and get from place to place, but he probably just uses something like the rewalk equivalent to get around. that or he ends up loosing a leg and has a prosthetic.. could be explaining this all wrong but i imagine it all humanwise, but can be canonwise too of course

- winona (his warhorse, and name was given by uhhh.... il forgot im so sorry) wasnt the best experienced horse bc most of the other warhorses ended up dying during battle, and winona was one of the last horses that they just gave them to spiderton. he probably had OTHER horses while training but he got stuck with winona, and winona just often acts like a big cat to be honest

- also hes a trans man. dont ask how hes many things i really like him. that or hes cis i dont really care which either but i like him being transgender.. youd know why. zigoton culture is probably netural or... Fuckingnhorrid about trans people when i think about it for too long agguhh but his mom probably didnt even care.. probably bisexual too

- also his mom, widowton (VERY basic name im sorry) ended up being a widow unironically. and she also ate spidertons dad because he wasnt a good dad and all. no one else really knows that fact and assumed he went missing however, but spiderton doesnt have.. the best relationship with his mom that he moved out to apartments when he was 19. he doesnt have any other family members that he knows of..

- spiderton is REALLY impressed by karmen architecture and weapons. probably after the ah-oohs were murdered off and the karmens got to flourish.. he just finds them very impressive, beautiful, and marvels of technology. not entirely related but got the feeling that karmens at least had a help inventing guns or something, but they arent very widespread

- spidertons real name is kumoton. its not his deadname to clarify.. he didnt bother to change it. only a few people ever call him kumo however because mostly everyone just knows him as general spiderton that he doesnt bother to correct (and being called general MIGHT make him happy if it didnt remind him of so much horrid shit)

- and uhh his Relationships he probably has a good friendship with kimen if they ever met! they always gave off the vibes that theyre nerds a little so they geek about the smallest things. maybe kimen likes biology and tells spiderton everything he knows about gastropods (gancheeks, mainly) and spiderton writes it all down because hes slowly growing impressed too!

- him and beetleton is. wow this is a mess but i feel like nonship wise they were friends at least. bickering friends but they probably DID care for each other, and beetleton doesnt have.. a lot of people to lightheartedly bicker with. i dont think beetleton ever left spiderton to die on purpose too, and when he ever realizes that spiderton died or was in critical injury and couldnt return? beetleton blames himself heavily on that.

- and then more onto kuwa, if he was kumoTAN itd be a lot more messy. kumotan wouldnt really forgive kuwagattan, and one of the reasons i feel he doesnt appear is because hes just been forgotten by everyone else, but kuwagattan never forgot and hes just so sorry for everything. even if kuwagattan is a demon, he still wonders what kumotan would think- and somehow convinced himself that maybe kumotan would come over and help him with this fight! and then he didnt. oops

- if spiderton did live though he probably wouldnt know of kuwagattan, at leaaast at first.... he just assumed beetleton died in the war and doesnt like to ever think about it, and mayhe is a little mad but his feelings are just conflicted. and then kuwa SOMEHOW comes back and now spiderton has to deal with the war he was in and now is trying to avoid reminding him of every single mistake he made. and its gonna be a lot

- i could say so much abut the spiderkuwa dynamic too but i could just imagine kuwagattan just casually breaking into spidertons apartment and going Hey uhmmm i need a place to stay and youre all i know....... and jts the fucking Uhm... Meow? scene trope thing basically. and now spiderton has this giant hot demon for a roommate. its actually okay though but remember what i said before? yeah

- also spiderton probably doesnt have a lot of friends. probably was homeschooled real often, that or he DID go to physical school once in a while.. always felt like his only other friends outside of beetleton were probably some of his engineering buddies (one of which is like. one of the few first ocs i made LOL) before he was dragged into being a general.. hes too awkward to ever revisit or anything

- always had the feeling that spiderton is based on these silk weavers.. theres probably red ones but they just come to mind first, so now he probably smells like bananas LOL

- (honestly though he'd just smell like gasoline or sweat. that or both, he doesnt shower real often but he likes to swim surprisingly sometimes)