#i had to stop myself from adding even more teams...

[pellucid-constellations]

My Everyday

Pairing: College Athlete!Bucky x Reader

Summary: Bucky Barnes was aggressive, annoying, and—worst of all—a hockey player. Not your type. At all. But, unfortunately, your roommate. 

Word count: 5.5k

Warnings: Minor injury, idiots in love <3, some angst, pining

a/n: My first fic in a century!! Thank you so much for reading if you’re still here. Depending on how this does I hope I’ll have motivation to write more! College athlete Bucky never fails to get me inspired :)

Masterlist

~~

“What’s this punks name again?” 

The breath you let out was long and excruciating. “I am not repeating myself.” 

“C’mon, y/n,” Bucky whined, knocking his head back on the couch. He watched you bustle around the kitchen from his inverted vantage point. “How the hell am I supposed to swoop in and save the day if I don’t even know the kid’s name?” 

“Okay, well, first of all—” the fridge door clicked shut with a swift motion of your hips “—he’s not a ‘kid’. I’m pretty sure he’s a few months older than you.” 

“Semantics.” 

“And second of all,” you stressed, pointing a butter knife in his direction. “There will be no ‘swooping in’. I’m going to have a nice date and you are going to go hang out with your puck rabbits or whatever they're called. There will be no thinking about me and no swooping in my vicinity.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes, kicking up from the couch and rounding the kitchen counter to pick at your sandwich. You knocked his hand away several times, but you both knew it was futile. In the months you’d been living with the hockey player—who was far too big for the small, shoebox of an apartment you leased—you’d learned that food was non-negotiable for Bucky Barnes. 

There were many other things you’d learned about him as well. He sang in the shower, but only when he thought you weren’t home. He had an annoying penchant for using your $30 lotion—again, when he thought you weren’t home. And he loved to throw his massive, smelly gear just about anywhere it would land right when he got home from every practice. 

He didn’t really care if you were home for that last one. 

Bucky was the last person you thought you would be rooming with when you posted that ad last summer. A small, quaint room previously occupied by your now engaged (and traitorous) best friend, you assumed someone like-minded to yourself would have taken you up on your offer. The price point wasn’t egregious and the building was relatively close to campus. 

But weeks ticked by, and you started getting desperate. Your landlord wasn’t a nice lady, something you were positive she took pride in, and she decided that a rent increase was the perfect way to ring in the new school year. You were on the verge of destitution, and as it so happened, the only other person as desperate as you was the starting center for your college’s hockey team. 

You hardly got along. It had taken weeks for your eye to stop twitching every time he tumbled through the front door at three in the morning, and even longer for you not to feel an infuriating aggravation at his random, nighttime smoothies. You supposed he probably felt the same about your cleanliness rules and your incessant reminders about trash days. Because Bucky was in charge of bringing the trash down those long, apartment steps. Not you. 

But you’d be lying if you said things hadn’t gotten easier as of late. Conversation flowed more smoothly, things that made you seethe before were only mildly annoying, and Bucky was being… considerate? You weren’t quite sure what to call the random cups of coffee he brought home on occasion. Or his sudden urge to warm up your car when he had a morning class before yours. 

There was also the case of that party last weekend. A frat party with far too many drunk men and not enough common sense, you had had the urge to leave the second you got there. But Wanda had dragged you along for the sole purpose of driving her home after she got hammered, so you were essentially stuck. 

It was fine at first. Hot and crowded and loud, but fine. You kept a general eye on Wanda and scrolled aimlessly on your phone in the armchair you claimed. And then it wasn’t fine, because a man twice your size was encroaching on your space and unrelenting. 

“What kinda girl comes to a party and doesn’t even wanna talk to anyone?” 

“You want to come up to my room and watch a movie or something?” 

“Hey, I’m talking to you, bitch.” 

You weren’t even aware that Bucky had been at that party. It wasn’t surprising—the line between fraternities and sports was blurred at your college—but the space he took up as he intercepted the man in front of you was.

~~

“There a problem here?” Bucky posed, crossing his arms over his chest, his presence looming above your seated position. His weight shifted to his toes.

The man didn’t miss a beat. “Yeah, you. Move.” 

“Wanna fucking tell me what to do again?” 

“Fuck you, man.” 

A harsh shove to Bucky’s chest was all it took for a right hook to echo in the living room of the frat house. There was chaos. Grunts and screams from the drunk people surrounding the unnecessary fight created a cacophony of unpleasant sounds that seemed to get the attention of someone in charge. The man—Brian, you had now learned based on screams—was pulled back from Bucky and getting chewed out by some president or manager of something. 

And Bucky was seething, chest rising and falling laboriously as he wiped at the new bruise forming on his face.

Fights were not uncommon. But this one had been about you. For you.

“Bucky?” you asked when the crowd calmed and Brian was no longer in the room. 

You watched his back release its tight coil. He turned. “Are you okay?” 

The words were almost lost in the noise of the crowd, but he was close enough that they created a tactile vibration across your skin. His pupils were dilated and he looked so disheveled it would have been charming if there wasn’t also a cut forming on his brow. 

“Y/n.” 

It took you a moment to realize that you hadn’t answered him. Your response fell out of you as if you’d been shoved. “I’m—I’m fine.” 

He grunted, but it was more of a puff of air. “The fuck was that guy?” 

“I don’t know,” you replied, realizing by the way you swayed that you had stood up at some point. “He just—” 

“We’re going home.” 

“What? I can’t, I’m here with Wanda. I’m driving her, Bucky, I can’t just leave.” 

He grabbed your wrist, the grip achingly soft compared to the blows he was landing minutes before. “She left with that British guy she’s been on and off with. Asked me to tell you.” 

That explained his random appearance. Your brows pinched as you took in the information, eyes cast down to the angry red marks marring Bucky’s knuckles. He’d been in fights before. So many fights. On the ice. 

This was different. 

“I haven’t been drinking—I can drive myself home. You don’t have to leave,” you shouted over the music now bumping in the room. 

He didn’t respond, not verbally. He pulled you to his front instead, leading you through the impossible crowd until cool night air began melting into your skin. His silence was strange. Bucky’s favorite activity was talking your ear off until you told him to shut up, but right now… nothing. Even his earlier words had been clipped. 

You felt responsible for easing the tension in the air as Bucky continued to guide you to your car. You hadn’t told him where you parked, but he seemed to know the exact location anyways.

“You really don’t have to leave with me,” you mumbled. “It wasn’t a big deal or anything.” 

“It was a big deal.” 

~~

The drive home had been silent. The walk to the door had been as well. Bucky spent a few minutes appraising you in the overhead light of the living room when you got inside, but after that there was nothing. He went to his room and you went to yours. 

There was no discussion about it the morning after, either. Bucky apparently wanted to pretend nothing ever happened, so you respected that. Even now, you ignored the fading cuts on his hands as he shoveled food into his mouth.

Bucky’s next words were muffled by a mouthful of bread. “Well where’s this dude taking you at least?”

“Ice skating.”

The cough and sudden exasperation was very expected out of the man next to you, Bucky’s next words hardly containing syllables. “Huh?” 

“We’re going ice skating,” you reiterated. You picked up your lunch and headed for the living room, ignoring the slightly heaviness in your chest. “It’s winter and ice skating is festive. The rink on campus has decorations.” 

“Without me? Y/n, you’re gonna let some guy who probably doesn’t even know how to skate—” 

“Bucky—” you attempted to interrupt. 

“—drag you around the rink like a rag doll?” he continued, holding his hand up to mute your incoming speech. “I’ve asked you to come by the rink, like, a ton of times. You’ve never shown any interest.” 

You rolled your eyes and shot him a cross look as he picked your feet up from where they rested on the couch and dropped them into his lap. He went on with his rant for a little while longer, knocking his head back against cushions and accusing you of being a bad roommate. You had a few rebuttals of your own, but there was a reason you had never accompanied him to the rink. 

A good reason. 

You didn’t date athletes. 

It was true that simply going to visit Bucky at a practice, or letting him be the one to drag you around the ice like a rag doll, wouldn’t mean you were in a relationship by any means. But it would be an extra step. And if you were being honest with yourself, it would only take a few of those extra steps for the irritation you felt towards Bucky to melt into something else. 

And you didn’t date athletes. 

You did not. 

You didn’t have the time, nor the patience, to put up with the cheating, the anger issues, or the crazy schedules. And there wasn’t a single athlete you’d met at your sport-centered university that was willing to compromise on any of those subjects. Especially the cheating. You’d learned that the hard way after dating a lacrosse player for approximately one month before receiving the dreaded DM from a girl you had never met. 

The man hadn’t even given you the courtesy of pretending he didn’t know what she was talking about. He just admitted to his wrong-doing and shrugged. Shrugged. 

So athletes were not exactly in your good graces when it came to dating. 

“Are you even listening to me?” Bucky cut through your thoughts, patting your shin in impatience. 

You blinked and reoriented yourself, focusing on the hairs that fanned across Bucky’s face. “Of course I am,” you lied. “But my answer is still the same. I’m going on my date and you are not going on my date.” 

He groaned, apparently giving up as he cradled your legs closer to him to lean over and grab the remote from the coffee table. He flipped the channel to ESPN—typical—and you ate your sandwich, silently cursing him. He had a TV in his room. 

“When is it?” he suddenly asked, breaking the silence that had knitted itself into a comfortable blanket over the room. 

“Tonight,” you answered plainly. 

The arms atop your legs tensed. 

~~

The dichotomy of the man sitting beside you was impressive. On one hand, he was so full of himself that he had missed almost all of your conversation starters due to being so transfixed by his reflection in the rink’s glass. He had yet to ask you a single question about yourself and had insisted that the four other girls skating tonight were in love with him. 

On the other hand, he was, quite possibly, the most uninteresting person you had ever met. You were usually very quick to laugh, but every word out of his mouth was almost painful. He wouldn’t stop talking about his ex-girlfriend, gave you one word answers about anything other than baseball, and was honestly really terribly at ice skating. You were no pro either, but you found yourself on your back every time he tried holding your hand.

The tumble five minutes ago had you seeking out the penalty box on the side of the rink. You needed a break, you had told him, hoping he would continue on making a fool of himself and give you a moment alone. But he followed you instead, and was now sitting beside you, talking about baseball.

You supposed that was better than making you fall while talking about baseball.

“I bet we could do that,” he remarked, pointing out onto the ice and catching your attention. A couple who clearly had more experience than you was twirling each other around. “We definitely could. I pick up good speed.” You cringed. “I really don’t think we should try, Sean. My tailbone is already pretty bruised.” 

“Oh, c’mon! I won’t try the throwing part, just the twisty stuff.” 

“We are literally on rental skates. You will kill me,” you deadpanned. You were tired at this point and seriously questioning why you thought ice skating was a good first date idea. 

Well, there actually was an answer for that. But you were not going to think about the hockey player that popped into your head when Sean asked you on a date in the dining hall last week. 

Definitely not. 

“I’m not going to let my date think I’m boring,” Sean groaned, yanking you up from your seat. 

You gave a few tugs and words of resistance but they were ultimately useless. You figured it would be just as useless to tell the guy you already thought he was boring. He probably wouldn’t even hear you. 

On unsteady skates, Sean guided you to a mostly cleared corner of the rink and gripped your forearms. He squinted as he surveyed the area, the corner of his mouth turning up in a way that made your stomach roll. This entire date had been a bad idea.

“Maybe we should just watch them do it,” you tried, words wavering. 

“No!” he grinned. “No, we got this. It’s gonna look so cool.” 

And then you were spinning. You’d never been spun against your will before, but it sucked. Your skates kept getting stuck in the divots in the ice and the grip on your forearms was close to bruising. You were starting to get dizzy and Sean showed no signs of caring. God, he really was dragging you around the rink like a rag doll. Bucky was going to get a kick out of this.

“Okay, ready?” Sean called, an unwarranted jubilation in his tone. 

“What?” you yelled. 

He didn’t answer you. Instead, he let go, and you went flying in another direction without a clear path. It only lasted a moment, but the sound of your head smacking onto the ice signified the end of that movement. You landed on your arm next, and then your back. Again. 

This time felt different though. Your head was spinning and there were muted pinpricks trailing up to your wrist. The ache there was dulled compared to the biting iciness in your back, but as soon as you tried leaning on it to get up, it became sharp.

“Oh shit!” came Sean’s laughter-filled gasp. “My bad. I really didn’t mean to let go.” 

You blinked a few times to clear the blurriness from your vision but it proved unhelpful. “I think… I think my arm’s broken.” 

“Wait, seriously?” he asked, wobbling down to a seat beside you. 

“Yeah, it’s—”

“Everything okay over here?” a voice interrupted. You tried blinking again to take in the man that towered over the two of you, but the lights overhead washed him out. 

You recognized him…maybe? You felt like you were going to throw up. 

Sean answered for you. “Yeah, man, we’re fine. She just fell.” 

“Y/n, are you okay?” the man asked, ignoring your date completely.

“Do I know you?” you slurred.

You thought you heard a curse. “What made you think throwing her around was a good idea?” 

“Dude, it wasn’t even that fast. Or my fault. She just couldn’t keep her feet under her.” 

“Well, dude, maybe you should go home.” 

Sean scoffed. “Right, and who’s going to take this one home?” 

Your head was starting to hurt with all of the back and forth. The man that just joined, the taller one, kneeled down beside you. His blonde hair cast a harsh glare that had you squinting again. 

“You want me to call Bucky?” he asked.

Bucky? How would he know Bucky? Blonde hair began morphing into a man in your memory, and you reached for the material of his shirt, looping it between your fingers.

“Steve Rogers?” you mumbled. 

The man, now identified as Steve, sighed. “I’m calling him. Go home, Sean. Her roommate is coming to get her.” 

There was more discussion, something about Steve having the authority to kick him out and Sean not understanding what all of the fuss was about. Steve warned him about something and Sean scoffed as if the situation was beneath him. And then he left. 

Steve was then in your line of sight again, brows pinched together and a bright orange vest covering his shoulders. His hands hovered in front of you as if you’d break if he touched you and you almost found it funny. Steve was a huge guy with a lot of authority on Bucky’s team, but right now he looked like a scared animal. 

“Why are you dressed like a construction worker?” you asked. 

A small smile graced his face. “I’m working at the rink today. Everyone on the team has to take shifts during the holidays.” 

“Hmm,” you hummed. “I think my arm is broken.” 

“I know. I’m pretty sure you have a concussion too. Let’s get you off the ice, yeah?” 

You tried to nod, but that hurt too much so you let Steve assist you in shakily standing up. He guided you to the seats by the rental skate counter with a soft but sure hand on your back, asking some guy named Antonio for an ice pack. Everything around you felt like a fever dream. 

Gentle touches rolled the sleeve of your sweater back to reveal a swollen wrist that Steve immediately covered with an ice pack. 

He cursed again. “Well he’s gonna be pissed.” 

“Who?” Your head swayed with the question. 

Steve looked up to meet your gaze, lips parting to answer, when he was replaced by a different face. Your brain was having trouble keeping up with everything, obviously, because Bucky was in front of you now. He was kneeling between your legs with his hands on your face and you had no idea where Steve went. 

“What the fuck?” you blurted out. 

“Hey, y/n.” Bucky spoke your name low and soothing, his fingers moving to your eyes where he pried them open one at a time and looked for something you couldn’t see. His next words were directed over his shoulder. “Maybe a concussion. Tell me what happened again?” 

“Sean Marcus was being an ass. Flung her all over the place,” Steve replied. 

“Why are you here?” you interjected, trying to focus on one thing at a time. “I told you not to come on my date.” 

Bucky moved his assessment to your arm next, shifting the ice pack. “Never really agreed to those terms.” 

He turned back to Steve after that, having another discussion that you barely understood. Bucky absentmindedly fiddled with the material of your jeans as he spoke, and you put all of your energy into not face planting on the ground. This past week had truly been a series of terrible events with terrible men. 

After some amount of time elapsed, you were walking to the parking lot with a jacket thrown over your shoulders and Bucky continuously jutting a hand out each time you took a step. He was very well versed in concussions, apparently. 

“Okay, in you go, killer,” Bucky prompted, opening the passenger door. 

You eyed the front seat, scrunching your face up. “My arm hurts.” 

The man in front of you seemed to soften, his shoulders dropping on a long exhale. “I know, sweetheart. But we gotta go to the hospital to fix that. I’ll make sure it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

“I should just call Wanda. Or Nat. You don’t have to be the one to take me.” 

“I can take you just fine.”

“Why do you want to you? Aren’t you busy?” 

Another long sigh, this one accompanied by hands on your shoulders, fingers at the base of your neck. “Get in the car.”

His eyes were boring into yours, searching for something, or maybe already finding it there. You still had your arm cradled to your chest and you titled your head to the side as you observed him. There was something else to his gaze that you couldn’t quite describe. It reminded you of his expression after he came home from a rough game. Angry. Discontent. 

“You’re being weird,” you commented, breaking the silence you had created. 

“You broke your arm and smacked your head on the ice,” he simply replied, as if the statement was an explanation. 

“Yeah, but—” 

“And then that douchebag did nothing about it,” Bucky interrupted. “So please, y/n, get in the car so I can help you before I find him and kick his ass. Because you know I’m not above fighting people.” 

You blinked, and then slid into the front seat. 

The drive was quiet. You’d never been in Bucky’s car before, but the spinning in your head didn’t give you much space to inspect it too closely. You caught hockey gear in the back, a keycard to the rink dangling off the rearview mirror, and a small collection of hair ties in one of the cupholders. One caught your attention.

“Hey, this one’s mine.” You picked up the purple band and rolled it between your fingers. “Thief.” 

Bucky snatched it back. “Mine now.” 

He made a sharp turn that had you sucking air between your teeth and repositioning your arm. Bucky sent you a quick, achingly apologetic look. 

“Sorry, almost there.” A long beat of silence and then a mumbled, “I should keep your hair tie. You won’t be able to do your hair alone with a broken arm anyway.” 

~~

Your wrist was fractured, not broken. You also only had a minor concussion. This was all great news to you, especially since they told you after administering a hefty amount pain reliever. To Bucky, this was apparently terrible, life-altering news. 

After practically body slamming into the front door of your apartment, he chucked his wallet and keys down on the kitchen counter and began grumbling to himself as he opened and closed kitchen cabinets. You watched from a distance, half amused, half concerned for the rusting hinges. He finally found what he was looking for—a cup—and continued to mutter to himself as he filled it with gatorade. 

“Are you… okay?” you asked tentatively. 

Bucky ripped the freezer open and manhandled three to four ice cubes. “I’m fine. You are not.” 

“I’m okay now,” you assured. Bucky stalked over to you anyways, pressing the sports drink into your hand that was not wrapped in a cast.

You looked down at the glass and sent him a baffled look. He nodded at it and raised his brows, a silent demand for you to drink. 

“Okay. And why do I need to drink gatorade?” Your words were slow. 

“You were just on the ice and haven’t had any water for at least three hours.” 

“Bucky,” you began. “I was ice skating recreationally for about thirty minutes. I don’t need to replenish my electrolytes.” 

“Will you just… will you just drink the damn drink?” he groaned, gesturing to it with a firm hand. “Jesus, I can’t take care of you when you go and get yourself hurt by idiots. So just let me do what I know I can do, alright?” 

“You don’t have to take care of me.” You were beginning to raise your voice, matching some of the frustration in the room. 

Bucky threw his hands in the air, tugging at his roots on the way down. He moved further into the kitchen and leaned against the counter with stiff, rod-like arms propping him up. And then he sighed, long and profound as if this was the hardest conversation he’d had all year. His head hung heavy between stiff shoulders and you felt the environment shift. 

You almost wanted to intervene on his thoughts again, to make some comment about the dishes in the dishwasher or pretend you were going to go take a nap. But he had something to say, something you needed to hear, and so you stayed. You blinked and clenched your fist in the uncomfortable silence, but you stayed. 

“Y/n, I want to take care of you,” Bucky breathed out, words still directed toward the floor, almost too low to make out. “I’ve been tryna get you to see that for weeks now, but you’ve either got no clue or you want absolutely nothing to do with me.” 

You stopped blinking, stopped fidgeting, stopped breathing altogether. You watched as Bucky drummed his fingers against the counter and still refused to look up. You swallowed hard because you weren’t clueless, but also because you wanted everything to do with Bucky Barnes. 

And nothing at the same time. 

“Bucky…” you began, with a tone of surprise you weren’t sure was believable.

“Don’t do it yet,” he stopped you. “Don’t…don’t tell me no yet. I’m still pissed as hell that you got hurt and you shouldn’t be alone with a concussion. I don’t need you avoiding me when you can’t even drive a car.” 

“You’re being presumptuous.” 

He snapped his head up, his eyes rushing back and forth between your own. The drumming on the counter ceased, instead replaced by balled up fists turning white under days old cuts and fading bruises. He didn’t say anything. You searched the empty air for a reply. 

“I wouldn’t avoid you. I don’t know if I could avoid you—not anymore. You’re sort of a big part of my life now.” A good start, you thought. Not a real answer, but not a rejection. 

Bucky bit the inside of his cheek and eyed the drink still perspiring in your hand. You set it down at his observance, moving closer to his slumped posture in the kitchen. 

But Bucky stood up straight at your movement, becoming guarded, stiff. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Bad timing, just forget it. You should try and get some sleep.” 

“I don’t want to forget it,” you softly spoke, shaking your head.

He clenched his jaw. “And I don’t want to hear that you don’t feel the same way about me that I feel about you. Not right now. I feel like I’m going insane, watching you go out on dates and having my best friend tell me that my girl—that’s not really my girl—is all banged up on the ice because of some asshole.” 

You opened your mouth to speak, but Bucky kept going, now pacing in the kitchen. “I mean, y/n, you’re my everyday. I wake up and you’re making coffee. You text me in class to ask what I need at the grocery store and then I call you after practice to make sure you got back to the apartment. I think about you so god damn much and I can’t believe there was a time in my life that I didn’t get to end my day in a home that has you. And you’re just my roommate. You want nothing to do with athletes, I get it—” he added, catching your eye in the middle of his rant, “—but, shit, I haven’t even looked at another girl since… well it doesn’t even matter.”

“Tell me,” you whispered. There were a million other things you could’ve said, a million explanations that would have made sense. But the two soft words stopped Bucky from tracking holes in the ground. They shoved him from his shallow breaths and made him look at you. 

And, god, did he look at you. You must have been worse for wear. A hospital visit mixed with one too many tumbles onto solid ice probably had your hair in disarray and your face pressed with exhaustion, but his gaze was revering. Candy-coated red with soft blues melting below brows that fluxed with the movement of his lips; Bucky was beautiful, and he was looking at you as if you matched.

His tone confirmed as much, light and saccharin as he said, “That dumb movie a few weeks ago, the one about the superheroes. Your friends wouldn’t watch it with you so you made me. You were so excited even though it was awful and you were out like a light within the first hour. You rolled over onto me and I wasn’t gonna wake you up so I sorta just held you.” 

He paused, trailing his eyes up to the light fixtures. “At the risk of sounding pathetic, it felt like I had you, you know? Like we were going through all our usual motions, but after I annoyed the hell out of you and you told me off, you were mine. I can’t… I can’t really picture that with another girl.” 

There were very few times you had considered yourself speechless. But with Bucky Barnes standing in front of you, red-faced and vulnerable and still wearing the stupid hospital nametag they made him put on in the waiting room, you had no words. There was none of the arrogance you usually associated with him, no short-temper or pestering taunts. It was just Bucky, and he was pouring his heart onto the kitchen floor. For you. 

“You get why you can’t tell me no just yet?” he asked, trying to get something out of you. Anything. “You can break my heart, but let me just make sure you’re okay first. And I can’t beat the shit out of Sean if we aren’t on speaking terms.” 

The laugh that left you was one of disbelief, but the breathiness and accompanying tears fit the heaviness of the room. Your glossy eyes met Bucky’s and something flashed on his face, but it was soon out of your line of sight because you were kissing him. You were kissing him hard and your bodies were too close for the cast between you but it didn’t matter. 

He didn’t respond at first, hand hovering at your back. But then he did and the cold linoleum of the kitchen floor was gone from your bare feet. He sat you on the counter, so gently, as if you were glass, and you let your hand brush against the cracks and divots of your home. The one that Bucky came back to every night to see you. 

The one that had housed so many nights of confusion and longing and denial.

The one that had Bucky kissing the life out of you on the kitchen counter. 

He pulled away first, forehead pressed to yours. “Didn’t think I’d ever get to do that.” 

“You can do it again.” 

“Oh, I will, baby.” 

Laughter met in the air between you—sweet, short, intertwined. There was so much you wanted to tell him, so many instances like the one he shared before where you were left questioning boundaries and feelings and lines. But, you figured, there would be so many opportunities to tell him. So much time together. 

“I texted Wanda that night,” you shared, interrupting the kisses he was pressing to your cheek. “After I woke up and you had taken me back to my room.” 

He smiled against your skin. “What’d you say?” 

“I told her I was an idiot—that I was falling for the enemy.” 

Bucky ran a soft hand along the back of your head, a smirk lighting up his face. He was slotted between your legs and kept his other hand firmly pressed onto the kitchen counter, caging you in, making sure your arm didn’t hit the cabinets. 

“And is that true?” 

“I don’t know,” you hummed, connecting your foreheads once again, wanting to stay impossibly close. “Try to cure my broken bone with gatorade again and we’ll see.”

[empresskylo]

ghost seemed to despise you, making a mission you have to do together much tenser than it ever had to be...

a/n: i feel like this isn't great but i had fun writing it. idk.

cw: none i guess

simon "ghost" riley x fem!reader

wc: 3.6k

masterlist

The cold wind blew through your hair making you tighten your coat around your torso. You rolled your eyes as you walked silently beside Ghost. Of course, he wasn’t talking to you. But he was being more quiet than usual. 

You were new and had managed to get him to speak to you the first few weeks, basic training, and small banter as you talked to the task force on the comms. You thought he even liked you at that point. The way he would gaze at you gave you goosebumps. 

Then suddenly, Ghost began to ignore you. You knew you were not skilled physically. You weren’t really ‘one of the guys’. You were their tech nerd who had been trained to work in intensive situations. You felt like a black sheep among wolves. 

Maybe that’s why Ghost didn’t like you very much. You were just extra weight. You couldn’t always protect yourself the way the others could. You often put the men at risk when they would shield you from danger you couldn’t fight off yourself. 

Soap had to remind you that you were crucial to the team. You were the only one with engineering abilities—and pretty impressive ones at that. But still, it seemed like Ghost was repulsed by you and your helplessness. He made sure you weren’t on his team during missions. He’d look the other way when you’d catch his eye in the halls. He’d yell at you when you fell behind. He’d glare at you while you trained. He’d contest your appearance on more dangerous missions. It was tiring watching him act normal—whatever that means—around everyone else. 

You muttered a few things to Ghost, trying to get him to talk, awkwardly fumbling your words. As usual, he didn’t acknowledge you. 

“Well, this is fun. I just love talking to myself,” you groaned as you matched Ghost’s strides. It was just his luck that this mission required Ghost’s stealth and strength, and your tech skills. He would have put up a fight, but he knew you were the only one with the right skills for the job and he wasn’t about to compromise an important mission just to avoid you. 

Ghost side-eyed you, huffing in response to your whines. “You always this whiney?”

“Actually, I can get a lot worse.” 

“For God’s sake,” he muttered.

“Whatever,” you mumbled. “…Sir,” you added in at the end, remembering just who you were grumbling unpleasantries to. 

Ghost’s fist clenched, his breath deepening. “Wasn’t my bloody idea to take you on this mission with me. Trust me, I would have much preferred you stayed back.”

You shook your head. You were over it. “I’m not that bad, you know.” You peered up at him. He kept his head forward, scanning his surroundings as he walked. “The other guys like me.” You felt like a child as you kicked the dirt as you walked. You weren’t the type of person who needed everyone to like them, but you’d be lying if you said it didn’t hurt you to see Ghost joking and being friendly with the others. Why did he hate you so damn much? 

You walked the rest of the way in silence. 

Night approached and you weren’t even close to where you were supposed to be—likely your fault for slowing Ghost down. “Can’t we just stop and rest a bit?”

“We got to get this mission done already,” he breathed, the way you were dragging him behind was giving him a headache. 

“Yes, I know. But it’s not really a time-sensitive mission…” you pleaded annoyingly. 

“I want to get back to base,” he said sternly, his head snapping in your direction to solidify his words. 

You followed behind him as he weaved through an abandoned building, his gun raised and ready. 

“I can’t really be that insufferable, right? I mean you like Soap just fine, and he’s loads more annoying than me,” you mumbled, speaking of Soap affectionately, but wanting to get your point across. 

He grunted in response—if you could call that a response.

You took in a sharp breath before speaking, waving your arms as you did even though he couldn’t see you as you stalked in his shadow. “I know you don’t like me. You’ve made that blatantly clear. I just thought this would be a good opportunity for us to get to know each other better. I don’t know, maybe not ‘get to know each other’, that sounds lame. I just… I just thought you’d like me if I was able to prove myself—“ You slammed into Ghost as he faced you, gun resting by his side.

“What?! Why did we stop?” You asked in a panic. Your eyes immediately started searching the perimeter, trying to locate a threat. 

“I don’t hate you,” Ghost said through gritted teeth, his accent heavy. 

Your brows furrowed as you looked up at him. He was actually listening to your rambling.

You suddenly felt embarrassed under his gaze, regretting every stupid word you just said. You must have sounded so pathetic, complaining that your superior doesn’t crack jokes or tell you how good you’re doing, like any of that is important. His eyes were burning holes through you. “Oh…” was all you could muster. His eyes shied away from you finally, deciding not to say more than he already did. 

He turned and began moving again. You felt your cheeks warm as you tried to shake off what just happened and followed Ghost.

You felt your eyes growing heavy, occasionally blinking for too long, seeing black, and feeling like you were about to nod off before startling yourself back awake with wide eyes.

“God, damn it,” Ghost huffed as he looked at you over his shoulder. 

You shook your head trying to wake yourself up. “Sorry, Lieutenant. I’m awake.” You pushed the hair out of your eyes and tried your best to keep them open. 

You could see Ghost contemplating something under his mask. He may have had most of his face covered at all times, but his eyes were full of expressions.

“Alright. We’ll rest a bit here. I’ll keep watch.”

You felt a sigh of relief knowing you could finally close your eyes for a minute, not caring enough to question him. You sank against the cool metal wall behind you. “You’re not gonna sleep?”

Ghost adjusted his stance. “Someone’s gotta keep watch. Now hurry up and sleep before I change my fuckin’ mind.”

He didn’t have to tell you twice. You were out as soon as you closed your eyes.

You stirred, your body moved up and down waking you. You slowly pried your eyes open, wondering how long you had been out. That’s when you realized why you were moving. You were curled up against Ghost’s chest, his arm wrapped around your waist.

Your eyes widened as you rested against him. His breathing deep. 

You tilted your head to look up at him and he was already staring down at you. Before you could speak, Ghost answered your question. “You were shiverin’.” He said matter-of-factly as if that was a perfectly good explanation as to why the Lieutenant had you pressed up against him. Especially knowing how much you seemed to bother him, why would he care if you were a bit cold?

You pushed yourself off of him and sat up in an attempt to be at eye level with him. You were partially straddling his thigh as you stared him down, trying not to succumb to his dominating glare in an attempt to overpower you. 

“I was… Shivering?” You raised a brow, clearly not buying Ghost’s explanation. Ghost continued to stare at you. “What? Were you attempting to kill me in my sleep and then I woke up and ruined your plan?”

You pushed up off of him in annoyance and you felt his large hands grip your waist. He yanked you back so you were sitting on his thigh. Your eyes were wide with shock. Shit. Did I just piss off the lieutenant? You thought.

Ghost's voice was husky as he spoke, his throat strained from being awake for 42 hours and not getting much water. “I don’t fuckin’ hate you. And I wouldn’t plot to murder one of my men,” he growled. 

You raised your hands in defeat. “Okay. Okay, I’m sorry,” your voice became meek as you remained under Ghost’s grip, his fingers likely leaving bruises. You thought about pointing out the fact that he had said ‘men’ and not women, so technically he wouldn’t be lying if he still plotted to kill you. But you knew he was not in a joking mood—not that he ever was with you. He could see the way you were completely missing what Ghost was trying to say.

“Jesus, you’re as bad as Soap,” he mumbled.

You gave him a questioning glance. “And by that, you mean…” 

Ghost glared at you from under his mask. You could feel your ears warm. After what felt like hours, he pushed you away and stood up in a huff. “Let’s go,” he commanded. His voice was stern and you knew if you made a joke or argued, he’d likely knock you on your ass. He was grumpier than usual. 

You followed behind him solemnly, kicking at the ground as you walked like a bratty child. 

You still were exhausted, your eyes red. You had slept maybe 30 minutes before you woke up in Ghost’s arms. The memory made you shiver. 

Ghost growled, clearly as annoyed as any one man could be. He squatted in front of you and you looked at him dumbfounded. 

“Wha-“

“Get on.”

You laughed, but Ghost stayed squatted. Your face went stoic. “Wait. You can’t be serious.”

“I want nothing more than to go to sleep and forget this whole fuckin’ mission, but you sleepwalking will make it take twice as long for me to get what I want. So get the fuck on.”

You gulped. This was next-level embarrassment. Not only did the men have to protect you, but now your lieutenant had to literally carry you. 

Your face was burning hot as you timidly reached out and jumped on Ghost’s back. All his tactical gear made your position against him sort of uncomfortable, but you didn’t dare complain.

Ghost stood, his arms hooking under your thighs and began walking. 

You both were silent the whole rest of the way, your arms wrapped around him as he carried you. Every once in a while he had to adjust your position back up and your heart would beat just a bit faster as his fingers slid along your thigh. 

It felt like it took forever to make it back to base, you couldn’t imagine how long it would have taken if you both had to walk at your own pace. You were thankful at least that Ghost decided to carry you and not leave you behind to find your own way back. 

Ghost had departed from you once you made it inside and you hadn’t seen him since. You stretched, sitting on your bed and staring at the clock. 1:34 am

You grumbled as you stood up and began down the hall in your slippers, not exactly very happy that your sleep schedule was messed up. You had slept for a good 17 hours once you crashed, but that meant you were now wide awake at 1 in the morning. Ghost was probably fast asleep by now and not rolling around in bed like you were. You rolled your eyes at the thought. Only you’d be able to mess up sleeping, you imagined Ghost mocking in his thick accent. Why did the thought give you butterflies? 

You walked past the gym to go outside and get some fresh air when you saw a single light on in the corner of the gym. You rubbed your eyes, stopping and focusing through the window. It was Ghost. 

You pushed open the door and spoke softly. “Lt.?”

Ghost grunted as he set the weights he was lifting down and turned to face you. It was dark but you could see that his mask was pushed up so he could down his water bottle and you felt your ears warm. 

“What?” He asked exasperated.

“Shouldn’t you be sleeping?” You asked quietly as if people were sleeping in the gym. But your voice was likely so low because you knew you were just going to irritate him by asking. Maybe if you spoke softly, it wouldn’t sound as jarring to him. 

He walked closer to you, grabbing a towel to your left to wipe his sweat away. You could make out the stubble that painted his jaw now that he was only two feet away. “I’m fine,” he grunted.

Most of Ghost’s eye paint had washed away from sweat and you could see the dark circles. “When was the last time you slept?” 

Ghost groaned and it made you take a step back from him. His hand pulled his mask back down and he walked back to his weights, ready to start lifting again. The man was going to work himself to death.

You walked over to him with a bit more confidence. “Lt., you really need to rest. You’re gonna hurt yourself if you keep—“

He spun around, glaring at you. “You know why I can’t fuckin’ sleep?”

You felt small under his intense stare. You shook your head. 

“Oblivious, you are,” he grumbled, putting his weights away. 

“You want to talk about it?” You finally asked, unsure of what else to say. Maybe this would be a good time for him to confide in you? 

Before you knew what was happening, Ghost had you pinned against the wall, his breathing deep, your own heart racing in your chest. This isn’t what you expected.

“It’s because of you,” he growled.

“Me?” You said in a soft whimper. Was he truly this upset because you weren’t like the others? You got flustered and fumbled with a gun in your hands. You weren’t as skilled in battle as they were. You were just the tech guru. 

“You,” he grunted. “You’ve fuckin’ clouded my thoughts. You keep makin’ me distracted.”

Fuck, so your clumsiness was distracting him. “I’m sorry, I—“

“I can’t stop thinkin’ bout your warm body pressed against mine.” His voice was darker than earlier, but much quieter now. His strong arms straddled each side of your head, his eyes piercing you. You mentally jumped at his words.

“I… I don’t understand.”

“Bloody hell,” he grumbled, always irritated with how clueless you seemed to be. Weren’t you supposed to be insanely smart? Couldn’t you feel his eyes on you wherever you walked in a room? Couldn’t you see the way he purposefully avoided you since you were too much of a distraction to him because of how effortlessly breathtaking you always looked? Or because he was focusing so hard on making sure you were okay that he’d lose track of what he was doing? Couldn’t you see the way his fist tightened when you said you thought he hated you or when your honey-laced voice called him sir?

Ghost pushed his mask back up to his nose and bent into your face, your eyes widening. “You’ve consumed my every goddamn thought,” he mumbled before connecting his lips with yours. You froze at first, completely caught off guard. Ghost… Liked you? Really, liked you? 

Ghost was about to pull away but then you started to kiss him back. You couldn’t help yourself. 

He pushed himself closer to you, his hands dropping from the wall to rest on your hips. He pulled back and loomed over you, your flustered face making him feel weak again. “Hard to sleep when I can’t stop thinkin’ bout how your warm body felt so nice against me. Knowin’ I shouldn’t be thinkin’ bout you like that.” 

It all made sense now. You finally understood why he seemed to hate you. You began laughing. Of course, someone like Ghost would act like that when he had a little crush. This whole time you were so worried he would always despise you when that was never even the case to begin with. 

Ghost watched you until you stopped giggling, your face going serious in return. “Even though I’m awful at everything I do?”

Ghost’s arms were back next to your head making you jump. “You’re not. You’re great at exactly what we need you to be great at. It’s the reason you’re part of the task force.” You looked unconvinced and Ghost dragged a hand over his mask in annoyance. “Yeah, so you’re terrible with a fuckin’ gun. Why would I care about that?”

You shifted uncomfortably. “I figured the lieutenant would hate anyone who wasn’t useful in the way he was…” 

“You think so lowly of me?”

“No! I only meant… I mean, I figured you admired strength and deadly skills more than…”

He mumbled your name heavily and you got chills. “I don’t fuckin’ care about any of that. You can do shit that I wouldn’t even know where to begin. If anything, it drives me crazy knowing you always need protection.” You took in a sharp breath, your palms flat against the wall behind you, worried he was about to explain why having to protect you all time drove him mad with rage, but what he said instead made you blush. “Makin’ me act… Possessive.” He sighed like he was talking to himself, explaining exactly why he couldn’t be attracted to you. “I can’t be actin’ like that.”

Your heart was pounding so loudly in your chest that you almost couldn’t hear what he was saying to you. “Why?” You whispered. You could see Ghost’s jaw tighten under his mask. He stayed silent, not answering your question. 

Ghost’s eyes followed your hand as you reached up to his chin making him flinch. In embarrassment, you began to pull your hand away, but Ghost caught your wrist in his and moved your hand to lay against the side of his jaw. “Jus’ not used to touch, s’all.” 

“But you like it? Touch, I mean.” You asked softly, your fingers caressing the cheek of the scariest man you knew. If anything, the way he was towering over you, trapping you between his arms, made him scarier. And yet…

“Mhm,” he hummed almost inaudibly as if he wasn’t used to being vulnerable and was struggling to admit it.

Ghost wasn’t sure what to do next. Your voice surprised him when you asked him a question he didn’t think you’d ask. “Will you kiss me again?” Your eyes fluttered up at him. 

His eyes danced between yours. “Want me to?” A brow raised beneath his mask, his pupils blown.

You nodded. Ghost’s hand was on yours again, pulling it away from his face and pushing it against the wall behind you. His palm engulfed your hand entirely. He leaned down, hovering over your lips, brushing them slowly against yours. You whined before he finally kissed you again, this time rougher than before. 

When was the last time Ghost kissed someone else? He couldn’t remember. So then why was he acting so bold? Like this was a normal thing for him to do? It was likely the intense lack of sleep that was making him act drunk. 

Ghost moved and cupped your face as he kissed you. Your small hands gripped his shirt and tugged him closer to you, making Ghost chuckle against your lips. “Needy, aren’t we, love?” 

You were falling in love with the way he spoke to you. So much gentler than earlier. In a voice you never heard him speak before.

He pulled away, his lips hovering over yours, his eyes flickering across your face. “You really should sleep,” you whispered, the dark circles under his eyes perfectly visible to you now. 

“Yeah? It’s rather cold in my room,” he muttered, his eyes studying your own. Your hands stayed twisted in his shirt, “Need me to keep you warm, Lt.?” You couldn’t believe the words coming out of your mouth. Granted, they were barely over a whisper. Normally Ghost could think properly, it was one of the many things he was known for, and he knew that this was a bad idea, but coming up on 50 hours without sleep was making him loopy.

He grinned and grabbed you, pulling you up and over his shoulder. 

You yelped, “Ghost!” He smirked as he walked back to his room, tossing you on his bed. It was the same size as your bed: a twin. How on earth did this man fit in such a tiny bed? It was cruel. And how were the two of you going to fit?

“I don’t think we both can—“

“Would you stop whining for once and just lay beside me?” His voice was groggy and stern. You blushed in the dark, almost entranced by the way you irritated him. Except now you knew he liked it. 

Ghost climbed into the bed beside you, his room pitch black. He grabbed your waist and pulled you against him, startling you at his boldness. He had to hold you basically on top of him so you could both fit, but he didn’t seem to mind. 

Within minutes he was asleep, his soft snoring rumbling through his chest. You smiled, resting against him. His arms tightened around you. You knew this was going to be a… situation in the morning. This was going to be awkward and would fill Ghost with regret and embarrassment, but right now, your eyes felt so heavy. And even if you wanted to leave, you weren’t sure you could escape Ghost’s grip. 

[muddyorbsblr]

why him?

See my full list of works here!

Part of the 500 Follower Celebration Requested by: @fictive-sl0th

Summary: An invitation to a Thanksgiving family reunion was sent addressed to you and Loki, and you're not exactly all that excited to face everyone after over a decade of no contact.

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: Audrey and her grade-A parenting…and she's got friends this time; family drama; hints of Loki's insecurity over his brother if you squint; language (get over it, Rogers) [let me know if I missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: established relationship

The air was unreasonably thick as the car drove through the streets of your old neighborhood, the layout hauntingly familiar to you and growing increasingly stifling as you passed each picturesque home. Every single one of those houses looked like they didn't age a day, the paint jobs pristinely done to ensure they looked as good as when its owners moved in over a decade and a half ago.

The lawns were a uniform obnoxious radiant green, a blatant show of affluence that yes, you were in a neighborhood that could afford to allocate obscene amounts of water to maintain the lush green hue of a patch of land that nobody could walk on. All for the sake of display.

"My love, I rarely ever say these words to anyone besides myself, but you must calm yourself." The feel of a large hand taking yours and fingers lacing through yours brought you out of your trance, not realizing that you'd been incessantly shaking your leg until Loki placed his free hand on top of it to stop you. "We can still turn around and head home instead. We need not face these people if even the thought of seeing them again has you shaking this way."

"I just don't get it," you murmured, relaxing your posture to let the god maneuver you and place you onto his lap, resting your head on his shoulder. You could practically feel your nerves melting away as he pressed a kiss to your forehead, the backs of his fingers stroking along your spine making you lean into him all the more. "Why now? After all this time?"

"Perhaps they wish to show you off," he grunted, sighing when he felt you tense up again after his words. "I don't wish to think ill of the very people that brought you into this world as I owe them a great debt for that alone, but if they had made the monumental mistake of ceasing to be a part of your life for so long, then my mind cannot help but think of ulterior motives on their part."

"Maybe they need me to win a pissing contest," you added, rolling your eyes. "But if that's the case then why didn't they reach out when I got into the Avengers Program? When Tony announced me as a new member of the team? How come after years of my mother voicing how disappointed she's been in me straying from the family business, suddenly we're--Holy fuck I know what it is." His light squeeze at your side prompted you to continue. "It's you."

"I'm afraid you've lost me there, darling. How is it--"

"Think about it," you kept going. "What happened days before we got the invitation? And just the fact that they addressed the invitation to both of us. Not just me and telling me that I can bring my boyfriend. The invitation said Y/N and Loki. They're not out to brag about me to their pretentious fuckwits at the country club. They're out to brag about you."

"Y/N that's absurd--"

"It's makes complete sense and you know it," you insisted. "We went public just a few days before we got that invitation--" He cut you off with a pointed look, challenging your spin on the situation. "Okay fine, people took photos of us out on a date and before theories got out of hand I tweeted 'Yeah we're dating. Deal with it.' and gave Pepper a migraine, same difference. Anyway, that happens, and suddenly they want me at Thanksgiving? That's not a coincidence, sweetie."

He pressed his forehead to yours, letting out a long sigh as he wrapped his arms tighter around you. "Say the word and we can call off this charade. I will speak with Stark and tell him we truly do not need these people as stakeholders if it comes at the cost of your peace."

Your heart swelled at his offer, knowing full well that he was more than ready to put an end to this shitstorm before it even began. But you also knew that a guilt would always eat away at you if you didn't so much as try. You owed Tony a great deal, after all, especially considering that he didn't even hold it against you when you outright refused to participate in that skirmish back in Germany and also proceeded to refer to all the parties that took part in it "a bunch of babies incapable of just talking it out instead".

"I have to at least try," you muttered, nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck. "At the very least it'd be nice to see my little sister again. Scare her fiancé within an inch of his sanity if he even thinks of hurting her."

"If you're sure, darling. But if at any point you wish to leave, let me know. We'll be home in seconds. Leave Stark's transportation behind. Surely Hogan will be able to find his way back to the compound."

"I heard that," a voice broke through the speakers on your side of the divider. "Look if you two have to make the dramatic exit a heads up would be nice is all I'm saying. Don't wanna have to spend a second longer in here than we have to, you know?"

"Happy I get you, but I'm sure you know by now that if we're gonna be texting you about a dramatic exit, by the time you read it, we'll already be back in our apartment." His groan over the speakers was all the agreement you needed. "Just--if anyone in that house asks you any questions, say it's classified information under Tony's orders or some shit. I don't want anyone in there knowing a goddamn thing. Nosy pretentious asshats." You grumbled the last part under your breath, earning a chuckle from the god still cradling you in his arms.

"Well I hope your poker face is ready, Y/N," Happy spoke up again. "Because we're about three houses away and a woman that looks like an older Botox'd to the high heavens and bleach blonde version of you is waiting by the mailbox."

"I'm assuming the woman he's describing is your mother?"

You nodded, refusing to lift your head from Loki's shoulder as if it would somehow prolong -- maybe even prevent -- the inevitable. "Fucking Audrey."

"Should I be especially cautious around anyone?"

You scoffed at the question. "Everyone. Just as a rule of thumb, if any of my aunts corner you and ask you about sleeping habits or stamina, call me. If anyone touches you anywhere that only I should be touching and not in front of a live audience unless we're feeling especially risqué, shout and I'll beat them up and make a scene so crazy it'll make Wade proud."

"I don't think you should pride yourself on your ability to incur that Wilson's pride, darling," he cautioned you with a soft chuckle. "But I will make sure to take your words to heart." You let out a whiny whimper as he eased you off his lap and seated you beside him, feeling the car coming to a stop. "Shall we?"

You placed your hand in his, lacing your fingers together as he exited the car before helping you out as well. When you saw the obviously newly bleached blonde middle aged woman approaching you, you could feel Loki's thumb rubbing circles on the back of your hand the moment you began to tense up. "Mother," you spoke up, smiling through gritted teeth. "Thank you for extending the invitation. Let me introduce you to Loki, we work together and we…also live together. He's my boyfriend."

Every nerve in your body tensed itself for a fight the second she gave him a head-to-toe look, her eyes so visibly dismissive and judgmental. "It was your father that extended the invitation. Come on, we shouldn't keep him waiting." And then she turned around and walked back toward the house, completely ignoring the god's outstretched hand to shake.

"What in the actual fuck?" you muttered, both of you giving each other a look before following Audrey into your childhood home.

The second the door opened you saw a familiar dark-haired ball of energy running toward you for a hug. "Y/N holy fuck you actually came!" your sister Stella squealed, the impact of her embrace making you let go of your boyfriend's hand. "I fucking missed you so much!"

"It's great to see you too, sis," you chuckled, returning her embrace as you took a look around the house that barely resembled your home from years past. "Any idea why they sent the invite, though? I mean I don't wanna sound like a right bitch but--"

"The short version is that Dad saw a video of you on a mission last year and he started missing you. When you went viral a few weeks ago after those photos of you and your boyfriend went around, he decided it's been too long since he's seen you and he wanted to meet you. And Loki. He just wants to meet the guy who made you smile the way you do in the pictures. You seem really happy with him."

You beamed at her words. "I really am, Stell. Actually I was wondering if you and your fiancé would be up to it, we could all meet up next time you're in the city." If it was possible, her smile got even wider at your offer. "I never wanted to be the first to show weakness since Audrey would fucking jump in glee at that but…I really fucking missed you, too, моя маленькая сестра."

The wonder that entered her eyes tugged at your heartstrings, reminding you so much of how she looked before you'd left home all those years ago. Back when she was still smack dab in the middle of high school. "What was that you just said?"

"My little sister." She let out a childlike giggle as she wrapped her arms around you again. "Nat's been teaching me mainly so we can talk shit. The only ones who can tell what we're talking about are Loki, his brother, and Bucky."

"Ohh if you knew how fucking thirsty everyone's been on the family group chat over literally everyone you just mentioned. Oop--you should probably go save your mans from some of them because our aunts? Well, let's just say they got handsy over my Nate, and he's nowhere near as built as your--"

"Say less," you muttered, walking toward the aunts in question. There were three of them standing in front of your boyfriend, the closest being Brenda who was basically the slutty wine mom version of Audrey, and she was about to reach out and place an overly manicured hand complete with long coffin acrylic nails on Loki's arm.

You put a stop to her wine-aided show of interest in people that weren't hers inches before acrylic met cotton, your hand catching her wrist in a thinly-veiled death grip and earning you an incredulous head-to-toe look from her. "Why, little horsey, what's gotten into--"

"Touch him, and it will be the last time you have hands, Brenda," you seethed, placing enough pressure against the joint of her thumb to let her know you weren't kidding. "I might be one of the non-enhanced members of my team, but that doesn't mean I can't break your hand like a fucking toothpick. And since you can't seem to remember anything you were taught as a child, let me just refresh your decaying memory. Touch that which belongs to someone else and lose a fucking limb."

She struggled to free her hand from your grip for a few moments before you made a show of "graciously" letting go, the three women stumbling away from you and the raven-haired Asgardian, a look of caution in their eyes as they made their way back to the kitchen. "Can I steal that line from you, little bunny?"

You turned towards the source of the new voice, a smile stretching across your face as you met eyes with you father. The only other friendly face you'd seen so far besides Stella since stepping foot in this house. This time around you were the one running for a hug, nearly sending him stumbling back from the impact. "I'll even teach you where to apply pressure."

"Horse? Bunny?" You broke the embrace to turn back towards Loki. "Any particular reason why your familial nicknames are based on animals?"

"When my permanent teeth were coming in, my front teeth looked a little too big for my face, so…" You trapped your bottom lip under your front teeth and wiggled your nose like a bunny, making him chuckle as you stepped back into his embrace before pressing a kiss to your forehead. "Horse is because I had an overbite and despite growing into it, Brenda always fucking neighed whenever I stepped into  the room."

"Darling, that's horrid."

"That's Brenda for you," your dad retorted, holding out a hand toward the god. "I'm Thatcher. I apologize for Y/N's mother. And her sisters. And my sisters."

The tension that had knots forming all over you began to relax by the slightest as you slipped out of Loki's hold, leaving him to talk with your father in relative peace compared to how you began your re-entry into this chapter of your life that felt too full of ghosts you thought you'd exorcised a long time ago.

"The last time I saw her this happy she was a little girl twirling around in a yellow princess dress getting ready for Halloween trick or treating around the neighborhood. Do you--have that? Back in…?"

"Asgard?" Loki finished for your father. "We do not. In truth Y/N was the one that kept me apprised of all the traditions mortals have in this realm. And the sweets that children tend to hoard during that time of year. We still have some from this year's festivities in our apartment left over from when she handed them out to the children."

"Is that how you and her became a thing?"

The god let out a mix between a chuckle and a sharp exhale as the memories of the early days of your relationship came back to him. "No. Those days we were simply friends. I'd only started truly courting her earlier this year. It was my brother that tipped us both off that we were as you mortals would say…dancing around each other? Truly I'd been taken with her the moment we met, I just never dared think she would return the sentiment. Since then I'd barely ever left her side." He looked to you, speaking with your sister once more as you both walked down the hall toward the kitchen, heart pounding in his chest as his mind was bombarded with the thought of perhaps living in a home similar to this with you one day, perhaps starting a family of your own. "You raised a remarkable woman, you should be very proud of her."

"I have been. I've always been. Honestly the only reason I haven't reached out to her sooner is I knew she wouldn't want to see most of the people in this house since they're the ones that practically drove her out all those years ago. But getting hit with the realization that my little girl was building a future that I wasn't going to be a part of felt so wrong to me. I only wanted for us to reconnect but the second Audrey and the rest of the family heard I was planning to reach out they took over. Invited themselves. Turned it into this entire thing."

"Apologies but I don't quite follow. She talked as if she knew that this would be a full family affair. Braced herself for it, even."

"That's only because she knows her mother painfully well, always sticking her business in places it didn't belong," he grumbled. "I don't know if she told you, but her mother and I have been separated since years before she even left the house. Our families have just been so tangled up with one another that I can't seem to escape as cleanly as my daughter did. Really I only planned for this to have been a simple meal shared with maybe Stella and her fiancé. I should have met with her instead, fuck I really clowned with this whole thing."

"Something that Y/N told me throughout my acclimation into this realm was…we learn as we go." Your father snapped his gaze towards you the moment Loki said the words. "She said you taught her that."

Thatcher straightened his stance and faced the god once more. "Do you love my daughter?"

He didn't hesitate to give his answer. "More than anything."

A lump formed in Loki's throat as your father reached into his pocket, pulling out a ring box that seemed generations old, set in a black leather and gold detailing. "The second I saw those pictures of the two of you, I recognized that look in your eyes. It's the same one I saw in Nate when he looked at Stella. When you're ready, and more importantly when she's ready, all I want is to be able to walk my baby down the aisle. But until then, keep this somewhere safe."

With a wave of his hand, Loki made the box disappear in a flash of green, keeping it in the safest place he could. "I'm sure she would love to have you walk her--"

"Are you fucking kidding me, Audrey??" The sound of your voice going shrill had him ready to march over to you. "So not only did you have the fucking audacity to invite yourself to this, bring your air-headed sisters along with you, and disrespect me and my boyfriend within sixty seconds of getting out the fucking car, but now you think you're in a position to pass your judgment and tell everyone how you think I 'picked the wrong Asgardian'."

A chill spread throughout Loki's body at your words. Despite the knowledge that yes, Thor was in fact the one that practically pushed you two to finally admit to your feelings towards one another, there would always be a deep-seated fear in him that you would wake up one day and choose differently. As so many before did in their youth.

"I'm just saying, little horsey, that if I was given the choice between two brothers, I would have picked the one that could make me a queen of a whole planet. Not the alien equivalent of an ex-con," your mother sneered at you, making his skin bristle at the sight of your rage visibly beginning to build. "Then again I shouldn't be surprised. You always did make it so difficult for us to tell any of our friends about you. Turning your back on the family business, specializing in a field that could do nothing for the image of my family, and now we can't even tell anyone you're dating a prince because all they're gonna see is the guy on YouTube back in Stuttgart that told everyone to--"

"Audrey, you finish that sentence I'm gonna make you fucking kneel," you seethed, shoulders squaring as you took a step toward them. "You haven't had a single good thing to say about me since I got first runner up in that stupid pageant you dragged me into when I was three. I turned my back on the family business because I refused to participate in a cycle of helping raise a new generation of girls that would turn out to be as brainless and shallow as you lot. I specialized in technological advancements in sustainable energy so I could actually do some good in the world and it got me an internship in Stark Industries that led to my training at SHIELD that led me into the Avengers program.

"And I don't give a single flying fuck if you can't brag to your friends at the country club about who I share a home with! Tell them whatever the fuck you want, but the long and short of it is this: I am dating a god. And a King." You lowered your voice as a smirk tugged at the side of your mouth, picking up a book that had been placed on top of the counter and waving it in their direction. "And these big boy blue-skinned ice aliens you're thirsting over in your horny wine moms book club?" You tossed the book back on the countertop with a resounding smack. "I'm dating that, too."

Your sister's jaw dropped to the ground as her gaze flickered between the scene in front of her and towards the front door where Loki still stood watching along with your father. "You go, sis," he heard her mutter before she cleared her throat. "If it helps, she's unimpressed with Nate being a neurosurgeon, too."

Somehow that sentiment caused you to chuckle, your stance a touch more relaxed now. "You know for such unimpressive women, you seem to have impossible standards for what you think is impressive to you. And the funniest thing is that somehow you all got it into your heads that the blonde himbo I call one of my best friends, that got banished to Earth for trying to destroy an entire realm because he was always a little too excited to wage war 'in his youth'…The same blonde himbo that had to grab and shake my shoulders to knock some sense into me because apparently my not so subtle crush on his brother was reciprocated and we were being idiots friendzoning ourselves? That Thor? Somehow you think you know better than I do and that he's somehow the better option? Fucking. Laughable.

"When I choose who I give my heart to, Audrey, that's it. I don't do the stupid thing and look around and see if there's greener pastures somewhere because I was raised better than that. By someone with more character in his pinky toenail than you have in your entire body, you bumbling idiot. Fact is there is no better option and there will never be a better option. Not for me. Thor doesn't even begin to compete. He's just the matchmaker. And if you can't even suck up your ego for five seconds and show me a modicum of respect then I don't need to tolerate your pretentious ass for one more minute."

As you walked out of the kitchen, marching your way back to him, Loki could see a fierce protectiveness in your eyes that he only ever saw out in the field. He'd come to terms that he would never see you donning that look over himself because out there he was better equipped and more than willing to be the one protecting you. He had to admit, however, that seeing it now had his heart doing somersaults in his chest.

I'm going to marry this woman, he thought to himself, a smile stretching across his face once you'd reached him and stepped into his outstretched arm, your own hand sliding across his lower back as you both settled into a familiar embrace.

"Sorry to rain down on this whole thing, Dad. I know you tried." You and your father gave each other mirroring shrugs. "Maybe you could--go to New York next time? Bring Stella with you? Y'know…just because I never wanna see those sad sacks of silicone and bleach ever again doesn't mean I wanna live the rest of my life without you two."

"I'll reach out next time I find myself in your neck of the woods, little bunny. Might be sooner than you think."

Your hold on him tightened the slightest bit as if to draw his attention back to you. It was adorable that you thought it ever left. "Let's go home." The way your tone audibly softened as soon as you turned to face him had the god unable to hold back from pressing a kiss to the top of your head before turning toward the door.

"Home?" a new voice perked up, making you both turn and face the dark-blond haired man who stepped in next to your sister. "I take it Audrey fucked up that fast, huh?" He set the grocery bags in his hands down, wiping his hands on his trouser legs before extending one towards you. "I'm Nate."

"The neurosurgeon, right?" you answered, taking his hand in what Loki knew was a handshake a touch firmer than necessary. "You know I work with someone who used to be a neurosurgeon, too. And…" The god stifled a chuckle as your grip tightened and tilted his hand to a point of discomfort. "If you ever even think about hurting my little sister, I will make what Stephen Strange went through look like a walk in the fucking park."

"Wouldn't dream of it," the Midgardian healer squeaked, letting out a breath of relief when you relinquished your hold on his hand. "Sorry you have to leave so early. Would've loved the opportunity to get to know the woman Stella can never seem to stop talking about. She's an entire fangirl whenever she sees you on the news."

"Shut up I am not!" Your sister faced you with a slightly sheepish look not too dissimilar from a look he occasionally saw from you. "Okay maybe I am a little bit. I mean I can't help it! My sister's a superhero!"

The sentiment had you nearly mirroring her jovial tone as you stepped out of his hold to pull her into an embrace. "I love you, too, sis. Come see me if you're ever in New York, okay?" When you pulled away from one another, you held her shoulders as you imparted one final piece of advice to both her and her intended. "You don't have to tolerate her behavior. Neither of you do. Today or--any other day of your lives."

It was just before dark when you and Loki got back to the Avengers Compound, already bracing yourself for what Tony was about to say once you stepped through the threshold. You knew you fucked up any chance of a new stakeholder for the Avengers the second you walked out of that house hand in hand with Loki, but you couldn't bring yourself to tolerate Audrey and her vapid posse a second longer.

Nobody got to pass judgment on you and your choices like that, especially when the choice they were so dismissively passing their judgment on was the love of your life. You should have broken their hands the second they started talking about how they thought you fumbled so badly for not choosing Thor.

"Thanks for not leaving Happy in hoity toity upper middle class Suburbia, you two," Stark hollered seconds after you stepped through the compound's main entrance.

"Tony I'm sorry--"

"For what?" he cut you off. "While you two were on the road your dad called me, said he wanted to invest in the Avengers Program, even offered his consulting company to be in our roster of resources. On one condition."

"And that would be?"

"Regular visits. At least once a quarter, he said. With you as the official liaison. Said he doesn't wanna miss any more of your life if he can help it."

A grin threatened to split your face, your heart warming at the knowledge that when your father said 'might be sooner than you think', he truly meant it. You no longer had to "all or nothing" your embargo on your family. "I think that can be arranged."

A/N: If you got that book reference, let's be best friends. And that name drop.

I'm so glad to knock another request off the 500-follower list! And this was honestly so much fun to write because I got to create a larger family dynamic that wasn't all bad for Reader but also showed that a few bad elements can really just throw off the whole vibe that that in itself is a good enough reason to walk away. (aka fuck u Audrey)

And also writing scenes where Reader tells Audrey off will never not be cathartic for me 😂🫡

Thank you so much for sending the request in, Camille! I hope you love the story as much as I loved creating it 💖💛

'everything' taglist: @sailorholly @loopsisloops @unlucky-number-13 @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @sarahscribbles @kats72 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th @lovelysizzlingbluebird @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @dangertoozmanykids101 @elizabethmidnight2017 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina

Loki taglist: @calumance @severuslovebot @moonlightreader649 @i-stand-with-loki @nixymarvelkins @infinitystoner @lokisgoodgirl @purplegrrl27 @thedistractedagglomeration

[haezen]

pairing: suna rintarou x f!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: swearing

the hushed voice of your best friend whispered your name. “suna’s staring at you.”

you looked up from your work to meet suna’s eyes from across the room. in an instant, a small grin spread across his face and then he turned back to his own work as if nothing happened.

well, that was weird. you thought to yourself before giving osamu a look. “why was he looking at me like that?” you whispered. osamu only shrugged—the bell rang and students began to gather their things in a hurry. as you stood up to do the same, suna’s shoes were at your desk and you raised your head to meet his eyes.

towering above you, the brunette took a second before opening his mouth to greet you. “hey (name).”

you didn’t respond and started to put your things away in your backpack.

“you’re pretty good at this english stuff, huh?” he began awkwardly.  

you nodded. curiosity suddenly overwhelmed you in the moment; “what can i do for you suna?” you questioned almost impatiently as he hovered. you picked up all your belongings and walked out of the classroom. just as you expected, he followed behind you.

the two of you walked through the hallway with some of your classmates giving second glances. “you know, it’s not everyday that the suna rintarou approaches a mere commoner like myself,” you stopped in your tracks to face him. pursing your lips and raising your eyebrow at him, you questioned yet again, “so what is it that you want?”

suna sighed. it seemed to him that you were more uptight than he thought. but he guessed it didn’t really matter if you were smart enough to help tutor him—but the fact of the matter is that he already had an A in the class. he didn’t need tutoring at all, he just wanted an excuse to talk to the prettiest girl in his class.

“i was wondering if you could tutor me, or else i’m gonna get put on academic probation.” he stated while scratching the back of his neck.

tutor him? wasn’t he supposed to be one of the smarter guys on the volleyball team?

“who would’ve thought?” you smirked. “asking someone like me to tutor you?” your amusement grew by the second. you wanted to toy with him. get to break his character, yeah... i mean was there ever going to be another opportunity as good as this one?

“would you say you’re desperate for my help?” you put your finger on your chin playfully only to see he wasn’t very amused at this (carrying that seemingly blank expression on his face like he always does.) “willing to do whatever it takes?”

suna gave you a look that told you exactly what he was thinking. a look that screamed: please just shut the fuck up and say yes before you embarrass me type of look.

tutoring rintarou every thursday wasn’t so bad. after school he’d head off to volleyball practice and you’d go to the library. most of the time, you’d sit in the library on your phone instead of actually doing your homework or studying (but nobody had to know that)

ten minutes ‘til volleyball practice ended, you’d head to the gym and wait for him to come out before walking together to his house. maybe every now and then, you’d peak in to watch them play. usually, his hair would be wet and he’d smell like lavender after he showered. sometimes you would even compliment him that he smelled nice.

he was actually a pretty smart guy. there were moments where you’d catch him stealing glances while you were explaining something; this resulted in you giving him a knowing look and he’d laugh. when he first laughed—like really laughed—you were surprised to find out that he had a loud laugh for being such a quiet guy. it totally caught you by surprise but it only added to his boyish charm.

over time, you began to fall for the middle blocker. at your weekly study sessions, the brunette slowly began to open up to you. even suggesting you call him by his first name one night when he walked you home.

osamu, your best friend as well as suna’s best friend, would ask you for updates and tease you because of the close relationship you had with his teammate. “so.....you and suna?” he’d say laughing, until your cheeks turned pink.

this became the new norm. osamu teasing you and suna giving you mixed signals that made you question everything in life. until one thursday, he stopped you mid-explanation and asked you if you’d come to their upcoming volleyball game. he told you it would mean a lot to him to have someone in the stands cheering solely for him.

you went to the game and cheered him on. at the end of the game, he walked you home like he usually did. he hated the thought of you being alone while walking home no matter what time of day it was. you glanced over at him—his hands in his pockets and his eyes focused on his feet.

you looked up at the stars up above the two of you, taking a deep breath while your heart hammered inside of your chest.

“i’m in love with you, rin.”

he stopped in his tracks then and there and looked back at you from over his shoulder. his eyes softened—something you had never seen in his eyes before.

he then turned to you fully with a smile. he broke the silence, “i was waiting for you to finally say something.” his nose and cheeks were rosy from the cold winter air.

and to you, he was so beautiful. but he was the most beautiful when he truly showed himself to you in moments like this with no one around.

you rolled your eyes and elbowed his side as you walked past him. “you’re so mean!” all he did was laugh.

you didn’t expect him to respond in such a way but you were happy he didn’t respond negatively.

“yeah, but you love me anyways.” he shrugged nonchalantly, wrapping his arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to him.

you wished a moment like this would last forever.

[patrophthia]

fallin’ for ya | james potter

pairing: james potter x reader

genre: fluff, pining (kinda mutual pining), humor, crack, more fluff omg so fluffy

words count: 1.7k

original posted on wattpad

"you know [l/name], we were just talking about you before you came over."

before she could even retort about how they went back to last name basis and playfully reprimand him for it, he added, "james wanted to know if you'd like to go out with him this weekend."

“you twat!" he shouted, grabbing sirius in chokehold which only resulted in peter helping sirius fight for his life. "you dickhead, why didn't you let me ask her that myself?"

"because, you'd end up postponing it like you always do. it's been months prongs! get it over with!" screamed sirius between breaths, "honestly, you were putting gryffindor's name to shame."

it wasn't a rare occurrence for the quidditch teams to wreak havoc as they pass by the hallways. so really, it was the same old ordinary story for her to discuss her classes with her friends as a group of loud boys walked by.

now, there's one thing you should know. [name] has always prided herself to not be the type who falls for a guy who flashes her a smile (her friendship with the notorious sirius black which started from his failed attempts of trying woo her as evidence). she didn't swoon when sirius called her petnames, nothing. no matter how cool for school he may seem to be.

but there was something, something so unexplainable, a feeling that had her in a fit off smiley giggles —no matter how unlike her it was to do so— that had her scolding herself internally when james potter cruised by, grinning at her the second he spotted her.

she knew right then and there that she was in deep shit. they knew each other, of course they did, sirius would never stop talking about one to other and vice versa which meant that they're sort of acquaintances.

but merlin, something about that smile, the way his hazel eyes crinkled behind his round glasses, the slight dimples on his cheeks and the perfectly straight teeth that he had, had her in a fit. she was certain he'd still be the boy that she'd pick in a line of thirty hot guys.

"oh fuck."

"oh fuck's right," her friend, lucien retorted after having caught her staring at james, demanding a confession of sort. "i mean out of all the boys in hogwarts, you chose potter?"

"i didn't choose to!" she argued with a defensiveness that she didn't expect from herself. "i just fell for him!"

"good lord, you might as well prance around singing to him 'i've fallen for you! i know i shouldn't but i just can't stop myself' maybe he'll sing it back to you," lucien said teasingly, creating a tune as she went with her words. "perhaps you won't be lonely for the first time in -what, six years?"

"you're the worst friend ever," she groaned. the pair of them turning the corner so they could enter the transfiguration classroom. "you're supposed to help me get over him, this isn't good new for either of us-"

"good afternoon, [l/name]."

"er- good afternoon, potter," she greeted in return in a more questioning manner, he only smiled; turning back to his conversation with his friend. the feeling of blood rushing to her cheeks not missed by herself.

"er- good morning, potter," lucien said mockingly, a smirk on her thin lips. "i never pegged the great [f/name] as the type to fall for a guy just 'cause he says hi."

"it was 'good afternoon' not 'hi' and those are big words for someone who choked on pumpkin juice just 'cause they made eye contact with evans."

•••

she knew it was a mistake to introduce lucien to sirius. merlin, lucien alone was too much for one to handle when it comes to teasing, but put the two drama queens together? that was just a disaster waiting to happen. so when sirius approached her, tearing away from his herbology partner to annoy the life out of her, she was more than prepare to suffer for the next hour.

"so..." sirius drawled out, snatching her attention away from the plants she was maintaining. "a little birdie told me you fancy a certain friend of mine."

"yeah, lupin is one good looking lad," she quipped, praying that her body wouldn't betray her collapse right then and there from embarrassment. goddamn it lucien.

sirius rolled his eyes exaggeratedly; trying to get her to understand just how 'annoyed' she made him feel. "honestly [name], i'm pretty sure james fancy you too you know."

the way he spoke so nonchalantly put her on edge, but that didn't stop her from perking up to try to get more information from him. "we were talking the other day and he said you looked really pretty when he spotted you during one of his practices, that's a crush if i saw one."

"something about you catching his gaze as he was preparing to race," he muttered with a mischievous smile, "truly poetic."

"would you stop?" she grumbled, going back to attending her plants. "it's honestly not that big of a deal."

"not that big of a deal?" sirius gasp dramatically, pressing a hand on his chest for good measure. "this is the love of your life and it's not that big of a deal?"

she rolled her eyes, a remark ready at the tip of the tongue when professor sprout loudly clear her throat cutting off the pair's conversation.

"mister potter could you please focus on your partner rather than miss [l/name]?" she questioned, for the briefest moment she thought she saw a small smile on the edge of the professor's lip but she was quick to change her expression to a stern one. "or did you want to switch partners? if that's the case, you'll need to discuss it with miss [l/name]."

"no professor," he said quickly; rubbing the back of his neck as his ears flushed pink, "i-i was just a bit distracted."

the professor hummed, taking his excuse without further questions, letting him continue on his work. from her side she could feel sirius physically vibrating with excitement, slowly she turned; facing him once more to see —exactly what she expected to see when it comes to sirius— the human embodiment of an enthusiastic puppy.

"seeeeeeeee?" he dragged out, smiling from ear to ear, "sirius black is never wrong miss [l/name]."

•••

christmas was approaching, fast. and like any other rational 'high school student' sirius had the bright idea to throw a christmas party just before the break started. which led to her to where she was now; in the middle of a crowded common room trying to find her raven-haired friend yet all her effort was to no avail.

the room was packed, loud music that she could faintly recognize the track of blaring from every corner of the place, the air was humid; hot from all the bodies dancing and grinding against one another.

lucien had (for once in her life time) sat out from this party, having land herself a date with a redhead she'd been pining over since the start of this school year. so really, [name] was as alone as one could be and she was really regretting her decision to have even gotten dressed up to come in the first place.

remus was tall, she knew that, almost everyone in their year knew that, but she never stopped to think for second about how much of life safer his height was. merlin, knows the relief she felt the second she spotted his mousy head of hair bopping to the beat of the song a mere feet away from her.

it was an unspoken rule she had ingrained into her mind: wherever one marauder was, there would be the other three.

her feet moved before her mind even process it's movement, pushing pass people in pursuit of the prefect who really should be stopping the party but was instead joining in the fun.

sirius was quick to cheer her name when his eyes met her, bringing her to his side and handing her a brand new bottle of butterbeer. "i thought you'd ditched on me."

"and have you bother me about how i betrayed you for the rest of the break?" she retorted, twisting the cap open and taking a sip, "no thanks."

"and here i thought that you'd come to see me." he pouted, making sure that he was giving her his best puppy eyes so he could play victim. "turns out you just find me annoying."

"everyone does," remus snorted, joining in the conversation.

sirius tutted, annoyance playing on his features when he suddenly had a bright idea. "you know [l/name], we were just talking about you before you came over."

before she could even retort about how they went back to last name basis and playfully reprimand him for it, he added, "james wanted to know if you'd like to go out with him this weekend."

james quickly protested, hazel eyes going wide with shock as his cheeks flushed up, ears tinted red out of embarrassment. "you twat!" he shouted, grabbing sirius in chokehold which only resulted in peter helping sirius fight for his life. "you dickhead, why didn't you let me ask her that myself?"

"because, you'd end up postponing it like you always do. it's been months prongs! get it over with!" screamed sirius between breaths, "honestly, you were putting gryffindor's name to shame."

remus with enough sensibility, and a final snort, pulled the three boys apart; freeing sirius from james grip along with peter and pulled themselves away, giving james and [name] time to converse between themself.

"so.." she trailed off, looking straight at him, "would you still like to go out this weekend?" james blinked, staring at her like a deer in headlights. his mouth opening and shutting. "because, i'd like to."

fuck, she was digging herself into a deeper hole with every second that passes by, "only if you want to, of course. if not it's completely fine, i-"

"yeah." he cut her off, staring at her. "i'd love to," he added after clearing his throat, "i'll see you then?"

"yeah, i'll see you then," she agreed, feeling giddy the longer they maintain eye contact. after a second she turned; deciding that it was best to leave it as it is only to be stopped by a hand grasping her wrist. she looked over her shoulder, meeting his eyes once more.

"do you want to dance?"

—from bee: i love james potter ‼️

[sreegs]

Whats up with tumblr ads?

With the recent spate of dirty feet pics filling my dash claiming to offer an effective method to rid my body of toxins, I wanted to write about something I've put off for a bit since I distanced myself from tumblr. I was an employee from 2015-2021 and witnessed it change hands from Yahoo to Verizon to Automattic from inside the belly of the beast. What follows is a holistic explanation for why tumblr ads are so bad. I'm not going to (and incapable of) providing you with the details, but after reading many outsiders' theories about tumblr ads, I wanted to offer an unofficial explanation.

1. Tumblr doesn't collect much info from you

On signup, tumblr collects your age and email. That's about it. From there, tumblr does build up a profile used to try to categorize you for advertisers, but it's trying to pull information from post and engagement history that's messy at best, anemic at worst. Tumblr's foundations are rooted in an era when sites acquired as many users as they could first, then monetized later. The problem is that those foundations were based on anonymity, before more unscrupulous covert methods of data collection were the norm.

You may have seen some ads on tumblr that are, indeed, incredibly specific to you, but those are ads that are served through an ad provider that recognizes your browser's cookies and then serves you a relevant ad. I'll explain this in a bit, but this is not based on any tumblr browsing data they have on you. It's merely a cookie thing, most commonly known as cross-site tracking.

Tumblr's anonymity has actually been a thorn in the side for developing features that users need. Like account recovery and such. This can best be verified with two-factor authentication, but that requires you to give up your phone number. You can do this now, but many users don't use it or don't even know about it.

2. Tumblr's ads are mostly a bunch of third-party ad services bidding for your views

The way advertising works on Tumblr, and most other websites other than Facebook and Google, is you scroll until you're just about to see an ad. In those few milliseconds, the ad is determined by checking a series of ad providers, one by one, in order, until one of them a) has and ad to show you, and b) bids high enough to show it to you

The thing about using third-party ad providers is they mostly suck. Facebook and Google offer decent ads, but they often require you to be providing FB and Google thumbprints from the users' cookies. And people who advertise on those platforms get to be more scrupulous over where they buy ad space. Providers other than FB/Google become bottom of the barrel ads, real fast. These are where the weird ads come from. Weird products, obvious scams, and the more nasty political ads (which tumblr tries to avoid).

These third party platforms are trusted to provide a certain level of quality and follow a certain set of rules. Often, they do not, and it's not in their best interest to do so. They want to serve as many ads as possible so they get their cut. So they'll find ways to get around limits based on repetitive ads, or skirting/ignoring rules of the types of ads the site wants to show. In order to remedy problematic ads, tumblr must contact the ad provider and tell them to stop fucking around. Their responses are often slow, begrudging, or sometimes noncompliant. Since tumblr needs money, they shrug their shoulders and say they tried, and the foot ads continue until the ad provider finally does something.

3. Tumblr's first-party ads had a rough history

If you've been here since 2013-2016 you may remember a time when Tumblr ads were alright. This is the era of Dennys, Tostinos, Gushers, etc making ads that looked like they belonged on tumblr. This was when brands on social media acting like people was just seen as mostly-innocent "how do you do fellow kids" weird humor and not just another sign of late stage capitalism.

Tumblr's own ads required a sales team to sell them. This meant salespeople went out and talked to companies to have them buy ad space on Tumblr. This is quickly becoming a bygone practice, as it's slower than programmatic ad buying and costs more in overhead. However, it ensures better quality ads show up, and more people actually clicked on them.

I can't tell you the whole story, but in summer 2016, tumblr's ads had the rug pulled out from under them. Tumblr was doing really good with their ads. I mean, actually good. During this era, tumblr's niche appeal also attracted celebs for their answer time, which in turn made the platform appealing to advertisers. I remember seeing the Black Pather cast walk by my desk during a tour of the old office. I got seats to a talk from Bruce Campbell and the cast of Evil Dead. Benedict Cumberbatch was there once, and I definitely ran into William Jackson Harper in the elevator.

Yahoo took notice of how trendy tumblr was and decided that it was time or tumblr's sales team to stop working exclusively for tumblr and move under Yahoo's sales team. To pour salt on the wound, the welcoming from their new boss was incredibly condescending. This resulted in most of tumblr's sales team resigning, taking their clients with them.

While this wasn't the only nail in the coffin, it was a pretty big one. If you had the opportunity to see tumblr ad revenue graphs from before and after 2016, you'd see a steady rise, then a very sharp decline. It was demoralizing for the whole company.

4. Holistically, tumblr's unappealing to advertisers

All of the above factors contribute to this point. If a site doesn't have a lot of good ads, good advertisers choose to serve ads elsewhere. Tumblr's traffic is miniscule compared to other platforms, so that too, drives down the appeal. And tumblr's remaining first-party ads are high-touch, expensive, and more difficult to organize than the more predominant way of advertising these days: bidding automatically on ad space right about to appear before the user's eyes.

This, by the way, is true for most sites outside of FB and Google, and to some extent Twitter (they're on the slide, though). Online advertising is a fucking hellscape and I wish we could un-open pandora's box.

It was really depressing to watch this slide from the inside because I care about the people who use tumblr, and I knew that advertising is a necessary evil if you can't pay for your site in any other way. I don't know if they'll find the answer before the money runs out but here's to hoping they do.

[humanfleshbutcher]

HELLO!!

I love that ppl are writing for puss and boots now since the new movie came out bc I've always been starved from the 0 fanfic. He's just so perfect to me and I need the fanfic of him!!

So I'm here to request a romantic puss fanfic. Maybe hurt/comfort? It's raining right now so I feel like rain is needed in the fanfic. Maybe reader feels like a burden or smth and just walks in the rain and eventually puss finds them and just comforts them.

Take your time- I've had patience for 2 years so I can wait a little longer! Can't wait to see the results<3

AAAAA I love this request 😭🤚❤️❤️❤️

Puss in boots x reader 'Comfort'

TW: Mentions of self-degrading

Can be taken platonically and/or romantically

Hurt/comfort

Gn!Reader and cat reader

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rain poured down from the dark and cloudy sky, it hitting the leafs of plants and the grassy ground being the only sounds that filled the airy atmosphere.

Actually, there was one more sound, the sound of footsteps. Your footsteps. You were upset. Very upset.

Why, you may ask?

Well, out of nowhere you started overthinking. Were you really good for team 'friendship'? I mean, they're nice and all, but are you good enough?

You tried to brush it off, you should really stop thinking that... But it wouldn't go away and you just needed a break. Plus, you liked the rain. It was weirdly calming, even if being wet wasn't a cats favorite thing.

Your head hung low, you didn't want to start crying. Not now. you couldn't stay out here for too long, getting a cold wasn't exactly on your schedule.

You sighed, finally stoping and just stood there. There wasn't much to do, not much to calm you down from your tears. Why couldn't the bad thoughts just go away? It's your head, why can't you make them go away? It was getting too overwhelming.

Why can't you just-

"Y/N!"

You turned around. There he was in all his glory, Puss in boots.

"Puss!" You responded, wiping your eyes. Puss tilted his head in confusion.

"Are you crying?" He wasn't teasing you, he was genuinely worried for you. That only made you want to cry more.

"What? Noo-" You tried to say in a happy tone, but your voice cracks were hard to hide.

Puss slowly walked over to you, and then he hugged you. Almost instantly, you burst into tears. He gently patted your back, holding you close and not letting go.

You don't know how long you've been crying for nor did you know how long Puss and you sat under a tree. You leaning on his shoulder as he gently held you close, both of you staring into the horizon, watching the rain pour.

"What's got you so upset?" He finally asked, your breath hitched. You don't want to seem like you were crying for a stupid reason, but you don't think you can put your feelings into words.

"You don't have to tell me, but if it will make you feel better, I am listening." He added, pressing you closer to himself. You took a deep breath in and out. Maybe telling him this would really help you.

"Well, I guess I just don't think i'm good enough for you guys.... But I don't know how to make myself better or if I even should be in the team because-"

"Y/N."

You looked up at him.

"Don't say things like that. The team loves you so much, we need you with us. And don't even get me started on how perfect you are. Your battle form is amazing and the way you protect us when we're just not enough for the enemy its-... If anything, you're the most perfect thing in the entire world, Y/N.

Your eyes widened, he looked like he meant all of that. You felt warm, you needed to hear this and he knew.

He pressed his forehead to yours and you both just sat there, appreciating each other.

But soon the rain stopped, and you both fell asleep next to that tree. You both held each other close, and dreamt beautiful things. You would thank him so many times if you were awake, but for now you're both resting.

For now you're both at peace.

---------------------------------------

I needed to write this😤😤 literally writing this in school but the request is just so 😩🤌✨✨✨ You guys are creative, if not for ya'll i'd be sitting in school sleeping but i'm sorry if it's short I don't have much time

[vic-draws-sometimes]

What would Johnny do?

Or another brain dump y'all call fics, in which autistic Simon tries to take care of Johnny

He was a dog. A rabid dog, if you will.

A killing machine.

A ghost.

He tortured, stabbed, murdered... He didn't comfort.

Yet, as he was standing in front of Johnny, he suddenly wished that he was normal. Not just not a killer, but also... Not stupid, as so many would say.

Johnny had been acting weird for a week, now, but Simon, or anyone for that matter, bothered to do anything. It was unfair, really. Johnny was always the first to cheer someone up, to give them a hug or space when they needed. Ghost was the first to know that.

But when he started feeling off, no one approached him. Ghost included. And now he regretted.

Why didn't he talk to him sooner? Why didn't he take care of him? Offer him comfort like Soap does to him? He knew why, of course. He wasn't a comforting presence, it wasn't in his nature. Even if he tried, he was always too blunt, too straightforward, not reassuring.

But no matter, he should've tried.

Because now Johnny was curled up by the side of his bed, panting and holding his head. He barely noticed Simon coming in his room to give him paperwork, or even noticed him standing there like a fool for a good two minutes.

''Johnny...'' he tried, but couldn't find words. The smaller man jumped a bit at the sound, but didn't move. Ghost then approached him, putting the paperwork on his desk, forgotten already.

''m sorry, LT... I'll... I'll get back to work in a bit.'' Johnny said, much smaller than what Simon would like, and much more out of breathe.

Simon was so worried, he forgot to reassure him that he didn't need to work just yet.

What should he do? What did people do to comfort other people? Shushing them, pet them, smile... That didn't seem appropriate.

What did Johnny do, when he was in a similar state? He made him tea... Touched his arms and held him tight. He didn't ask questions, never did.

''Look, Ghost... Can you just... '' the scot trailed off, his voice trembling slightly. ''Go... Please.''

The last plea made Simon hesitate. Should he listen to him and leave? Rationally, he should.

But it hurt in a way Simon wouldn't be able to describe, seeing his Johnny in this state.

Finally, he sat next to Johnny, in silence. He held out in hand to him, not looking at his face. After a minute of further silence, Johnny put his hand in his, and Simon started to rub at his skin, massaging the many muscles.

They stayed like this for a long time, eventually Johnny put his head on Simon's shoulder.

''I feel shitty.'' was the first thing he said, sounding way too tired. Simon looked at him briefly, encouraging him but not forcing it out.

''Sometimes everything just gets too much, you know? I... I love the team, and what we do, but I always feel like the new one. I'm annoying people around me, I'm not as skilled... I get injured all the time, and make people worry. I hate it. I...''

Johnny sighed, leaning a bit more into the bigger man. Simon got the message and wrapped his arms around him.

''I'm pathetic.'' he finished, closing his eyes. Simon thought for a little while. How could he extinguish these thoughts?

''You're not.'' is all he ended up saying, a bit blunter that he would've liked.

''If you were that useless, we wouldn't keep you on the team. If you annoyed people so much, Price would've kicked you out... It's true that you get hurt a lot, though. I would like you to stop. '' his honesty mixed with that last comment extracted a little laugh from Johnny, it sounded like heaven after a week of not hearing it.

''Always the right words...'' he said, a little sarcastic.

''I'm sorry for being like this, I'll get myself together. '' he added, straightening up to get out of the hug. Except Simon held him tight.

''No. Take a break, rest. I'll make you some tea and stay with you for as long as you need. And stop apologizing, '' it once again came out more like an order than reassurance, but at least Johnny didn't take it to heart, scoffing.

''Make it a coffee, then we got a deal.''

''Got it.''

Ghost finally let him leave his arms. Soap got up, only to sit on the edge of his bed.

Like promised, Simon took back the paperwork and came back with a coffee. They spent the next hours in bed, cuddling and trying to ease the scot's worries.

''Why didn't you talk to me?'' Simon eventually asked.

''About what?''

''All of that. You've clearly been feeling like this for a while, so why didn't you come to me?'' Johnny took a second to think about it, drawing circles on Simon's chest.

''Didn't want to bother you...'' he murmured, but Simon heard.

''Bother me? You... You help me so much, yet you worry to bother me by asking for my help?''

''Yeah, got a problem with that?'' Soap tried to joke, but it didn't land, Simon was a bit offended.

''Yeah I got a problem with that. It's not fair that you see me at my most vulnerable and refuse to show a bit more of yourself to me. Am I not trustworthy?''

Both men were now silent. Suddenly Johnny sat upright to look at Simon.

''Yeah, you are. I'm sorry that I acted like an idiot, next time I'll talk to you. '' he offered him a small smile, to ease his worry. Simon wasn't sure he entirely trusted that he'd do that, but he'll stay alert for next time, as to not let it fester for a whole week.

''Good. ''

''Now... The coffee was good, but I know something else that would cheer me up...'' Johnny said, trailing his finger down Simon's chest. The bigger man only held him tighter in his arms.

''Not tonight. I told you to rest.''

''Aye...'' there was no disappointment in his voice as he got comfortable on his Lieutenant, ready for a good nap.

[lucy90712]

Pedri makes reader feel bad after implying all she wants is his money

wc: 1700+

For most of the afternoon I have been cleaning the house and getting things set up as my boyfriend Pedri is having his teammates over for the evening and I don't want the place to look a mess. Pedri and I have been together for coming up to 4 years which is crazy to think about as it feels like just yesterday that I made the at the time crazy decision to move to Barcelona with Pedri so that we could stay together. From that day our relationship has only gotten stronger to the point that I can't even imagine what my life would have been like if I chose not to move here. I truly love Pedri so much he has been with me through everything and we have both supported each other through everything life has thrown our way. 

Its not often that Pedri invites so many of his teammates around but I encouraged him to do it as the team has been doing so well and working so hard that I thought it would be nice for them to get together and have some fun. After suggesting it I told Pedri that I would make other plans for the evening to get out of the way so that they could have a proper boys evening but he insisted that I stay. That is the reason I've been preparing things for most of the afternoon because although I know none of them would really care I wanted to have snacks and drinks ready as thats what I would do with my friends. 

Just as I finished with the last of the snacks the front door opened and Pedri came in with Gavi as he can't drive so Pedri offered to just drive him straight here. Gavi greeted me with a simple hello and a smile and Pedri came over to give me a kiss which made Gavi make gagging noises which made Pedri flip him off. The 3 of us all sat down and started talking until others started to arrive a bit later. Pedri had invited pretty much the entire team which meant there was a lot of people suddenly in our living room so people were sitting on the floor and everyone else was squished onto the sofa. To make things more comfortable Pedri allowed me to sit on his lap which we do all the time but never in front of anyone else so I felt a bit awkward to start with until Pedri grabbed my hand and rubbed it with his thumb to calm me down. 

Once everyone had arrived and settled in we were having so much fun everyone was talking and laughing which made me really happy as I love to see the team getting along so well. I didn't really say much but I was happy to just sit and listen to everyone because I'm not the most outgoing person so just being present in the conversation was fine by me. Everyone seemed to be liking the snacks I'd made too which made me happy as I spent quite a while on them and tried to make things that were healthy but also tasted good. 

"These are so good" Gavi said eating one of the things I made 

"Yeah everything is really nice thanks y/n" Ferran added 

"These must have taken you ages" Gavi said 

"I bet you spent a lot of my money on them too" Pedri said 

Everyone kind of gave him a look once he said that but I tried to brush it off as just a joke and continue the conversation to not make things awkward. Luckily his comment seemed to have been forgotten at least until he started making more comments about money and implying that I'm only with him for his money which is so far from the truth. It hurt to hear him say those things because I didn't know he thought about me like that or believed that I didn't actually love him. The more things he said the more it was starting to bother me so to avoid crying in front of everyone and ruining the evening I excused myself and went to the bedroom to just be on my own. 

When I was finally alone I could no longer stop the tears from falling and once they started they wouldn't stop. It's so hard to believe that Pedri would ever think that I'm only with him for his money I mean we have been together since before he was so successful and I took a big risk to come to Barcelona with him all because I loved him. Pedri does of course make more money than me but I still work hard I'm in my last year of university and have a job which takes up most of my time outside of studying. All the money I earn goes towards either paying for bills or things I need for university but I never take Pedri's money unless he specifically allows me to. Sometimes when we need food he will give me his card to use but I always make sure to find the best deals and then give it back to him right after I get back. 

Pedri is often spoiling me with gifts but I always tell him not to because I don't need any of those things not that I don't appreciate them but I don't need him to spend his money on me to be happy. When he does get me something I will always try to take up extra shifts and get something for him but of course it isn't worth as much because I simply can't afford it but I always try. For birthdays and other holidays I try and get him gifts that have a meaning and show how I feel about him and I can't believe he would just forget about all of that and act like I don't care about him at all. 

Pedri's POV

"Dude whats up with you tonight?" Gavi asked 

"What do you mean nothings wrong" I said 

"The things you're saying about y/n are you guys in a fight or something" he questioned further 

"No we are fine" I replied 

"Well I don't think everything's fine you can't just pretty much say that she is us using you for money and say everything is fine" Ferran pointed out 

"I'm just joking I don't actually think that" I said 

"You might want to tell y/n that I can't imagine it feels good to hear you say those things" Gavi said 

Oh no what have I done. I was just joking around as people always seem to think that y/n is with me for the money even though I know she isn't so I wanted to make a joke out of it. Thinking about it again it probably wasn't the best joke to make as I know she sees what people say and tries her best to show me that she isn't with me for the money. The more I thought about it the worse I felt as I know she works really hard and has never once taken advantage of the fact that I earn quite a lot in fact it's always my decision to spend money to get her nice things like she deserves. 

When y/n left the room I didn't think much of it but now that she's been gone for a while I can't help but feel like I've really upset her. As much as I want to go and find her and apologise for everything I said I can't because there is other people here and she probably wants some time away from me. While sat with everyone else I wasn't at all engaged with the conversation as all I was thinking about was y/n and how I must have made her feel. 

Your POV 

From my spot on the bed I heard the front door shut and then silence which I knew meant everyone had left. Despite that I still didn't move as I didn't want to see Pedri just yet because I've only just stopped crying and I know I look a mess. When the bedroom door opened and Pedri walked in I quickly hid my face so that he wouldn't see my red eyes and may just completely ignore me but of course he didn't. He came and sat down next to me and put an arm around my waist to pull me into his side. I still didn't move but he stayed next to me and tried to get me to move the pillow that was in front of my face. Eventually he succeeded and I looked at him for a second before going to look away again but he stopped me by putting his hands on my cheeks which made me look at him. We looked at each other for moment before his mouth opened and he clearly started to think about what to say. 

"I'm really sorry for what I said earlier" he apologised 

"Do you really believe that I'm like that?" I asked

"Of course not I don't know why I said it I was just joking because I know people say those things about you but I wasn't thinking about how it might come across" he explained 

"I promise I'd never use you for your money I really do love you as soon as I finish uni and get a better job I'll contribute more to everything I just can't afford to right now" I started to ramble even though Pedri already told me he was joking 

"Its ok I know that you love me and I don't need you to contribute anymore you do enough for me in other ways I promise you that it was a joke and I'll never say anything like that ever again" he said 

"Thank you" I said 

Only when we finished talking did he take his hands off my face as instead he put one behind my neck to pull me into a kiss and the other went around my waist to move me closer to him. When we both pulled away from the kiss I moved to lay on top of him and he gently ran his hands through my hair and stroked my skin all while telling me how much he loved me which was nice to hear. 

[michpat6]

the champions shouldn't come back

I’ve been seeing a lot of people say that the Champions should come back to life in TOTK, and can I just say please no. This isn’t even about shipping, I don’t give a fuck about that right now, this is about narrative.  

Breath of the Wild is a story about grief. Hyrule is a grave and each ruin is a tomb. Zelda is holding the Calamity back from adding to the body count and Link is the only one who can help her stop him for good. To do that, he needs to help the kingdom move on from its death a hundred years ago. He needs to free the Champions’ spirits from the Divine Beasts and destroy Ganon and save Zelda.     

Based on how the map is laid out once you get the Sheikah Slate repaired, Vah Ruta is first. It’s closes to Kakariko/Hateno and the enemies are the easiest. The game tries to subtly funnel you in that direction with the random Zora laid out in the area, searching for Hylians for Prince Sidon, and there’s a reason for that, narratively. 

(or there isn’t and I’m reaching, but bear with me)

Mipha was Link’s childhood friend. She (and Zora’s Domain as a location) is the representation of his youth and the child he was before he pulled the Master Sword. She’s his innocence, ripped away by the sword a hundred years ago and handed back to him by the Shrine of Resurrection a hundred years later, even though he doesn’t remember. It’s how he rediscovers his lost innocence, through Muzu being pissed at him and Sidon hiding his sadness, an innocence which he loses again once he frees Mipha’s spirit from Vah Ruta. 

She tells him, “Yesterday, I was awash in a pool of tears. I had nearly given up hope and resigned myself to being trapped here, as a spirit, for the rest of eternity. But now you’re here”. In this moment Link faces the reality of what the Champions being dead means. He’s been told by everyone that they’re prisoners, unable to move on, but now he’s seeing it for the first time, hearing in Mipha’s voice the pain of what these hundred years have been. He knows now that he really is the light, our light, that must shine upon Hyrule once again and that if he wants to remember more, he needs to go free the next Divine Beast. 

In freeing Mipha, Link gets hope in the form of her Grace. 

The game tries to funnel you to Vah Rudania next. There’s a very easy path from the Domain to Death Mountain, with the stable where you get the heatproof elixirs close by. Goron City is the Okay, I know what’s really going on, now what? of the game. Daruk was Link’s rock (pun not intended but it’s true), a grounding presence, the person that keeps him himself once he’s saddled with the burden of being the Hero of Hyrule.

He calls Link to Death Mountain in the memories to show off his progress with Rudania, yeah, but also to have, like, guy talk. He mentions “all those delectable rocks” and then reminds Link that he’s not alone in protecting Hyrule, that, “I’ll protect this land of ours to the death!”. He’s reassuring Link that he’s got his back and then literally does when those rocks fall and he uses his Protection. 

Daruk gives him that Protection once he’s freed from Rudania, that encouraging smack on the back that says, Go get him for us. 

Then there’s Revali and Vah Medoh. Revali was a jerk to Link, and sure he’s jealous that Link is The Hero, that the Master Sword is arguably the most important piece of the “killing the Calamity” plan, and that all he’s going to be is glorified backup, but the point of Revali is that he keeps Link on the ball.

By that, I mean that Link’s little rivalry with Revali (whether or not he actually sees their relationship as such) is akin to, like, a sports team. There’s always that one person you don’t necessarily get along with, but you know you can count on them to push you to be your best and be there to pick up the slack whenever you stumble. Rito Village is home to Teba’s pride and the spirit of Revali’s arrogance lives within his landing, and Link is able to remember that one time Revali made fun of him for not being able to fly, how that eggs him on to find a way up to Vah Medoh in the present just to rub it in the archer’s face (at least, that's how I felt when I first played the game). There’s a method to Revali’s madness and it’s to make sure Link is in tip-top shape if he’s supposed to be the one to save the world. 

Revali then literally uplifts Link with his Gale after he has control of Medoh again.  

Finally, we have Urbosa. Like Daruk, she was a reassuring presence, but not in the sense of, I’m your shield, I’ll be watching your back. She’s comforting in the way having five 100+ damage Lynel weapons in your inventory is comforting. She’s reassuring in the sense of, I’m your sword, I’ll be next to you on the front lines. She reminds Link that despite his youth and the burden of the sword on his spine, that he has a duty to protect Zelda, and that by protecting Zelda he is protecting Hyrule.

She’s not forcing him into the role, but she’s keeping him on track whereas Daruk allows him to stray for the sake of his mental health/childhood. She’s saying, Be a child for as long as you can, but also be the Hero. It’s why she tells him to open up to Zelda, so he can have a friend his age that he can be around 24/7, so he can have someone to relate to (and so that Zelda can, too). Urbosa is the representation of Link’s duty and his relationship with Zelda (whether platonic or romantic, I don’t care in this context), and how that relationship with Zelda turns into Zelda finally unlocking her powers on Blatchery Plain. Without Urbosa’s presence, Link isn’t in the right headspace to even be the Hero.  

Now that Link knows exactly what he’s lost a hundred years ago, and what he’s then regained during his quest, he can take her Fury and use it as a conduit for his own. 

Link starts Breath of the Wild a blank slate tasked with saving the world. Throughout his quest, he remembers his lost childhood, but regains that little spark of hope, that thought of, I can do this. He remembers that he wasn’t alone in his task, that there were other people right there with him, and that it was the actions of a monster that took them all away from him, not the unheard prayers of the princess he was sworn to protect and then came to genuinely care for. He learns that there’s nothing he can do to change the past, that all he can do is let his dead friends move on and do his best to do the same.

It’s why he takes their weapons. It’s why he buys the house in Hateno. It’s why he furnishes it. It’s why he builds Tarrey Town. He accepts that his old friends are gone and that the best thing he can do for them is make new ones with the people who helped him free them. In dealing with his past, in accepting it, Link sets up his future for after the dust settles.

TLDR: To bring the Champions back to life in Tears of the Kingdom is to ignore all of the progress we as players made in Breath of the Wild, it ignores the point of the story the game is telling, and it does a disservice to the character arc that Link has over the course of the game.

[kanmom51]

Run BTS Mini field day - Part 2

Part 2 of part 2...

Cr./to the creators of media used in this post.

So, where were we?

Oh, yes, slippery soccer.

Let the games begin.

On the right we have the blue team - JM, RM, Hobi and Suga.

On the left we have the red team - Tae, Jin and JK.

Now let's just have at it, cause hectic is too calm of a word to call what went on there, lol.

There's no way I can describe everything that went on there, and I don't intend to. I will also not share who won this round.

Like I said GO WATCH IT. It's definitely worth it.

What I will do is share some moments with you all. Cute moments. Funny moments. Lovely moments.

So, let's get it.

I guess there will be no forgetting that name for JM in the near future, lol.

I think, although this isn't by order of things happening in the episode, that I will start with Jin and his cahoonas.

Cause why not?

If only for the comic effect...

JK's reaction. 🤣 🤣

After all, this is serious business we're talking about.

JM was finding it hard to stay up on his feet, lol.

And there's more.

I did tell you we had butt slapping, didn't I?

Well I also gave you the first installment of it in my post a couple of days ago.

But there was more butt.

Hey, no complaining. I didn't say it was all tuppy tuppy handsy handsy.

Ok ok, if you insist, here's some handsy stuff too.

We got the hug.

JM wanted that hug so bad.

For scoring a goal that is.

Now, this was hilarious.

Jin, being hit in the balls, got a penalty kick, which Hobi kind of stopped, only to hit JM right in the head and wham, straight into the goal.

But yeah, he finally got to get his hug. With a member of the opponent team...

And we got it from a different angle than in the promo.

Just look at that smile.

Found it kind of funny that none of them had a word to say about JM hugging a member of the opposite team. All RM had to comment was to the legitimacy of him even getting a hug. 🤣

JM and JK are still relatively kinda clean at this point (well, JM has some soapy pants, but yet to be soaked).

And then the chaos begins.

The game is surprisingly close. And the red team have a tactic they try to put in place which involves JK holding on to JM and RM so Jin can score the goal,

a tactic to be utilized by JM a little later and it somehow ends up like this:

That growl JK...

(Disclosure: The JM climbing on JK bit, was in the promos, but not in the actual episode (we knew as much, didn't we?) and it was inserted into this edit by the clip's creator.)

And Tae, is that him enjoying them rolling in the soap, adding more lubrication or him trying to cool them down? Just one more life mystery. Lmao.

But also, there was clearly editing going on there. We have been fooled once again folks. BH editors depriving us of some evidently (I mean look at what's going on there) good Jikook content.

One thing I ask myself about whatever it was that was going on there, and that is: what the hell did it have to do, if at all, with playing soccer? 🤣 

Game ended, and one hug, evidently, was clearly not enough.

And breaking it down.

After the games ended, the winners were announced, Jin got a gold medal as well announcing he got 1st place with Astronaut at M countdown,

and the hectic couple, a.k.a. Jikook, took over the final MCing.

Bonus: A little bit of cutie Koo.

and a little bit of cutie Jiminie.

This is what they had to say at the end:

I can't help but wonder how the flowers ended up with JM.

Bridal bouquet?

And just for fun, I love ending my posts with a little reminder from this episode, something to carry us for a little while longer, you know, till 2025. 😭 😭

[beautifulchris]

arts & crafts center

wc: 0,8k

pairing: demigod!hyunjin x gn demigod!reader

summary: your shared passion for art and your father's powers bring you closer together

genres: fluff, little angst, demigod!au, camp half-blood!au, strangers to friends!au, mutual pining!au, son of aphrodite!hyunjin, child of aether!reader

tw: magic, physical injury, infirmary, idiots

notes: yeah, since there's more cabins being constructed, i took the liberty to add gods of my choice. meet aether, the primordial god of light and the upper air! i'm reposting the works i posted while shadowbanned, please don't mind me

networks: @kflixnet @k-labels @whipped-kpop-creators

permanent tag list: @badwithten​ send ask/dm/comment to be added!

GIF publié par juiceofmoons

The guy spent most of his time in the arts and crafts center to paint. You went there to sculpt every once in a while.

Every time you went, he was the only one that wasn't from the Athena cabin. There were always Athena kids there, but an Aphrodite son... Now, that was something.

When you'd hear him complaining about the light, you'd bend it so that it would hit his subject —whatever it was— like he wanted. It was just practice for you and a divine gift for him.

It went like this for a few weeks, until he came to see you after finishing a painting. "Aether kid? Thank you. My paintings are way better when you're here and use your powers on the light," he smiled, bowing slightly.

"It's my pleasure to help a fellow artist, Aphrodite kid."

"Please, call me Hyunjin."

"Y/N."

"Sorry I didn't come earlier Y/N, I had to make sure it was really you before presenting myself."

"Of course, it would've been embarrassing to thank someone for something they didn't do," you giggled and he laughed with you.

Since then, you became friends, often going to the arts and crafts center together —at least when you went— which was more often now.

Sometimes you'd pass by on your way to the training grounds and turn invisible to scare him. Nevertheless, you'd wait for his paintbrush to be everywhere but in his hand to avoid a disaster (you're not a monster).

Once, though, he was so focused on something important for him, he got mad when you sneaked up on him, which startled you.

"Stop scaring me like that!" he hissed, annoyed.

"Okay," you faltered, "I'm sorry."

He looked over and his anger dissipated a bit. "Ah, sorry. I didn't mean to use charmspeak."

"No, it's okay. I'm really sorry. I promise I won't do it anymore."

You kept your promise alright. You were so ashamed of yourself that you avoided going back there altogether. No, it was not the best thing to do. But hey, you were young and your feelings mattered.

Of course, Hyunjin's too.

Even knowing that, you'd turn invisible and flee every time you'd see him looking for you. When he walked past your cabin (your siblings sure knew an Aphrodite kid was searching for you), before and after meals, chariot races and games of capture-the-flag.

Yeah, it lasted a while. Around two weeks, I think.

Then, Hyunjin had enough. He never thought he could miss someone so badly but here he was, pathetically whining about you not wanting to speak to him.

Needless to say, all his friends knew about you and the terrible things he did to drive you away. It was a matter of time before they teamed up with your siblings to stop this nonsense —according to them, anyway.

Fortunately —or not, depending who you're asking—, on one fateful Friday evening, an Ares kid hurt you badly enough during capture-the-flag that you ended up in the infirmary.

Guess who came to see you first?

Yes, Hyunjin, good job!

You were laying in bed, your sword arm in a plaster. He was standing a few beds away, panting and staring at your face then your arm.

If you spotted him, you did nothing to leave. Maybe you were too badly hurt from the game or just exhausted from running away. Either way, Hyunjin approached and sat on a wooden chair next to you.

"Hey," he greeted sheepishly, rubbing his nape.

“Aye,” you greeted back, a little weak.

“How are you feeling?”

“Like my arm has been run over by a train. I’ll be okay tomorrow.”

“Okay,” he breathed, then inhaled deeply. “Y/N, I’m sorry. Scaring you away was the last thing I wanted.”

You shook your head and held his gaze. “You didn’t do anything wrong. I did. I used my ability to make you uncomfortable and I deeply apologize. I avoided you because I was too embarrassed.”

His eyes softened at your sight and kind, honest words. “I got mad at you for nothing, I’m sorry.”

“It was justified,” you insisted.

“Still, I shouldn’t have snapped at you.”

“It wasn’t cool of me to do what I did, your anger was rightful.”

“I—”

“Can you please stop and make up already? Gods, you’re so dense, both of you,” Lia cut off, frowning and tending to another camper in the bed next to yours.

Hyunjin and you apologized at the same time and laughed quietly.

“The truth is… I was painting something for you, and I wanted it to be perfect. I might have been a lot stressed about it.”

“You made a painting for me? You’re so sweet Jinnie.”

Blushing at the nickname, he looked away and took your unharmed hand in his.

“So… are you coming back to the arts and crafts center if only to receive my gift?”

“Depends,” you smirked, “do you miss me or my powers?”

“All of you.”

thank you for reading! if you enjoyed, here's the masterlist <3

[writingsfromhome]

Chapters III

A/N: Okayy long awaited part 3! We’re inching closer to more action. This part feels like roasting a marshmallow over a fire. Before it sets on fire or even gets toasted.

Part 4 should be coming in the next week or so--let me know if you want to be added to the tag list. Thanks for reading as always loves. xx

Part: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 /

--------------------------------------------

 But I didn’t stand in front of you and make you feel small and unloved.

Y/N’s words tumble in my head, as I set an appointment with Ruth who openly stares at me, and while I walk to the studio. I can’t stop as my team discusses one of my singles, and while we go to our usual pub to wind down.

“Is everything alright?” My manager notices as we order a second round of drinks.

“Just got a lot on my mind,” I say noncommittally. But Jeff wasn’t Finn, he claps one hand on my shoulder and lets me know he was around if I wanted to talk in private. I thank him and continue staring at the bottom of my cup.

“Anything interesting?” a voice asks from beside me, I wasn’t sure how much time had passed since Jeff left from my side.

“Hm?” I ask the beautiful woman who takes the seat beside me. Some of my friends glance at her but go back to their conversation, this usually happened when we went out. “Sorry, I didn’t hear what you said.”

“I was joking,” she smiles, her teeth white against the black lipstick she wears. “You were just looking into your pint like it was the most interesting thing in the room.”

“Just,” I motion to my head. “Got a lot going on up here. I’m Harry.”

“I’m Alina,” she says with another smile that showcases her dimples and round cheeks. I really look at her, she was a lot more interesting than my pint. “I’m here to save you from whatever misery’s got you down.”

“I don’t think anyone can save me from that,” I chuckle. Except Y/N maybe, but she’s said it herself--she moved on. All I can hope for now was she forgave me, and maybe invited me back into her life as a friend. But it was going to take time, and luckily I had until my birthday. “But it’s honorable of you.”

“I’m not really known to be honorable,” she says as she slides her foot up my leg. She smirks at my startled reaction, not expecting her boldness. But pretty soon, I’ve left my interesting pint behind and we’ve moved towards the bar for a fresh round. But we don’t stick around talking for long, she invites me back to her flat and I give myself to the night...some things weren’t solved in a day and I may as well enjoy myself before things got harder.

***

Y/N’s POV:

I accidentally bite down on the skin of my nails, already having bitten off any nail that existed. This is the shite I didn’t need, I think as Jules waves at me while he walks up his school steps. His head of curls disappears beyond the double doors and then I’m walking towards the tube station to get to work.

Any moment my mind isn’t occupied with Julien or work, I’m going over the conversation with Harry. Was I too harsh with him? Should I accept his apology just so we can move on. It was an irrefutable fact that Harry was the father of my child, and he would have to know this piece of information one day. Maybe I had to face this head on, and carefully apply a bandaid so he can stop finding clever ways to talk about us. Especially if I really was planning this birthday/listening party.

“Excuse me,” someone shoves past me and I realize I’d lingered at the turnpike. It was still early--on the days I dropped Jules off to school I got into the office early. Harry’s flat was a few stops away from where I usually got off...I consider if I should put my big girl panties on and get it over with. I already adjusted his meeting, I’d have to talk to him this week anyway.

I decide to stay on the train past my stop, and my head feels like I’d had too much champagne as I walk in the direction I knew Harry’s flat to be. When I get there and knock, I sigh in relief when he doesn’t answer. He could be sleeping, or already in the studio. I take a big breath out again, sending out a thanks to the universe or whatever. I wouldn’t have to do this today.

I walk back towards the lifts, and the doors open in slow motion. A rumpled Harry steps off; he has on the same shirt he wore to see me yesterday and an obvious bedhead. The walk of shame, or it wasn’t one until he sees me and his face flushes.

“Y/N? What--are you here to see me?” he clears his throat. “Sorry I didn’t realize you-”

“It’s fine-” I put my hand up when he takes a step towards me. “I’m fine, I was just going--I’ve got to get back to work.”

“Wait, why did you....fuck,” he whispers to himself but it’s so quiet around us, I hear it too. I smash the button for the lift but it’s long gone and doesn’t come back down. “Why are you here? Is everything okay? Is it Julien?”

My head whips at my son’s name, but I relax when I realize he was just going through the list of reasons I would show up.

“Everything’s okay,” I try to control my voice. “I just came to talk, about yesterday. I didn’t realize you would be...” I gesture to his outfit and his shame deepens.

“You came all this way can you just--”

“I should really get back to work,” I repeat again. I felt the sting of tears, I was stupid to come here and think Harry and I could casually put a bandaid over us. I also wasn’t sure why seeing him coming home from his night like this felt like my shame.

“Y/N,” he says softly. He takes the hand that’s basically destroyed the lift button and pulls it away. It forces me to look up at him. my jaw hurts from clenching it so I don’t cry. “We can talk.”

“I can’t stay,” I shake my head. “I just wanted to apologize for being so harsh yesterday. And I’m okay doing your event, I bumped your appointment up to this week so we can get started on it since we got distracted yesterday.” The lift finally opens. My safe haven. I look down at his hand on mine--I’d forgotten how unusually smooth his hands were; graceful and strong like he was always meant to be a musician. “I do have to get in now.”

“Okay,” he lets go of my hand and we don’t say a word as I get in and turn back. We make eye contact as the doors slide shut and as soon as they do, I slump against the railing. Barely catching my breath, I look at my reflection. I looked sucker-punched. I regret coming here today.

Harry’s POV:

I regret going last night.

It was fun, but I regret everything that followed. How could Y/N take me seriously if this is how she finds me when she is ready for a serious talk.

I slam my front door shut, at least I was going to see her sooner. And speaking of, I should probably let my manager know what I was planning for February. I groan, today was going to be a long day. But surprisingly by the time I have the conversation that afternoon, it isn’t as disastrous as Y/N and I this morning:

“Why...did you agree to that?” Jeff asks me when I spill the beans. “That sounds out of budget.”

“No it doesn’t have to be,” I try to backtrack. “Y/N, the person I hired to organize this is amazing. If I give her a budget she’ll stick to it so we don’t have to spend a lot and--”

“Y/N?” he raises an eyebrow. “Like Y/N—the Y/N you’re brooding about all the time?”

“Yeah, she does events.”

“Harry what are you getting yourself into? Are you trying to impress her or...?”

“No,” maybe. “I’m just trying to kill two birds with one stone—just say yes? I’ll fund whatever is over your budget?”

He drags his hand down his face and then nods. “Don’t make me regret this.”

“You won’t,” I kiss his cheek. That was a lot easier than I thought.

***

The days blur by as they do when I’m finishing an album. By the time Thursday rolls around, I’m buzzing to see Y/N again. She occupies so much of my thoughts these days, mostly for all the time I missed. I was still processing the fact that she had a three-year-old son, her life must be so different from what we had. She had a son.

I’d admit it to nobody, but I got angry drunk last night over the constant thoughts. Angry at myself, and as fucked up as it is, for whoever Y/N had her kid with. He had the life with her I wanted, even if he wasn’t in the picture. Y/N would have a piece of him forever. It was jealousy and possessive and unhealthy, and I paid for it this morning when I could barely see the stream of sunlight through my bedroom window without wanting to hurl.

“You’re early,” Y/N says sarcastically when I arrive 20 minutes late to our meeting. There’s one other person here that she introduces me to and who I forget the name of because the painkillers have yet to work their magic and my head is killing me.

“Rough night sorry,” my voice sounds like coarse sandpaper. “Sorry to make you ladies wait.”

“Let’s just get started,” she says with a tight-lip smile, she was annoyed with me. Damn, I should have gotten her a coffee before I got here. “Last time we talked we said we would go with a 70s theme and it’ll be medium sized?”

“I’ve put together somewhat of a list,” I pull up my notes app. “It’s just under 50, I’m emailing it to you along with my manager’s details in case you need him for something.”

“That’s helpful, can you CC Em?”

“Em?”

“Em,” she gestures to the blonde beside her and I try to play it off.

Em snorts but Y/N doesn’t look impressed. She asks Em to give us a moment and as soon as the door closes behind her, Y/N’s anger is pointed directly at me. “Is this a joke to you?”

“No of course not! I was lightening the mood. I’m serious about this.”

“Because I’m not here to be taken as a joke,” Y/N crosses her arms. I remember she would do that when she was upset with me. I would always unwind them and wrap them behind my neck, and just being between her scrunched face and the anger, her fists would open her up enough for a smile. My heart pangs when I realize it wasn’t easy like that anymore. We were building from ground zero. “You come in 20 minutes late, obviously distracted and can’t even be arsed to remember Emily’s name!”

“I’m sorry, really!” I try again. “I had a tough night, I’m sorry.”

“Tough night? You drink too much?”

“Maybe, but I wasn’t having a fun time.”

“Poor Harry Styles, try putting a moody toddler to bed for a half hour, and then cleaning up his sick because he’s got the flu.”

“Julien’s sick?” I lean forward. “What are you doing here then?”

“He’s fine, he’s with my mum.” She sighs. “He ate something that didn’t sit right with him but he’s okay, just had a small fever this morning. I can’t call in sick just because he is unfortunately.”

“The meeting was just me,” I feel more worried than she sounds. “You could have cancelled and stayed home.”

“I couldn’t,” Y/N cuts me off. “I’m serious I can’t stay home every time my kid is sick--I’d love to but that’s not how it works! I have a job, and more clients than just you. I call him when I can, and I’ll see him in a few hours.”

“I’m sorry,” I feel the need to apologize again. And then again for good measure, “And I’m sorry for the other morning-”

“Why are you apologizing, it’s your life Harry.” she types something on her laptop.

“I was hoping to have that conversation, and then I show up like that...”

“We’re talking now,” she continues typing. “And we can always talk another time.”

“Can we?” I ask, my tone catches her attention. Her face softens, she looks away and when she looks back at me her brows are pinched. I wasn’t sure what was going through her mind, she was making it hard to read her. There used to be a time when she was as easy to read as a picture book. “Tomorrow, can I pick you up for dinner? We can just talk I-I need to talk to you. Don’t you think we should...talk?” Way to use your language Harry.

“Okay,” she chokes out. “I’ll meet you tomorrow. I’m calling Em back in.”

And so she does, we discuss the event and although Y/N isn’t curt like she was, it almost feels like she avoids looking at me directly. I sit on my hands at one point, with her hand right beside mine I want to hold it and I don’t trust myself. I wonder if we’ll ever get to neutral ground with each other or if my adolescent decisions fucked me over forever.

Y/N’s POV:

“He’s fine Y/N,” my mum pushes me away from Julien. He’s cuddled with his stuffed bear on my mum’s couch watching his cartoons. “If you don’t leave now you’ll never make it on time for your work dinner.”

So I didn’t exactly lie to my mum, I just didn’t want her to know I was meeting the father of my child because--well, she would either get angry about letting him back in my life, or go the other way and ask when we’re becoming one big family again. I was giving her a white lie, and leaving Julien with her who wasn’t as sick as yesterday but still very lethargic and achy.

I crouch down to Jules’ level, he shifts forward so his forehead touch mine. “You smell,” he mumbles to me, leaning in to where I’d spritzed some perfume on my neck.

“I do, don’t I?” I kiss his nose. “If you need anything you tell gran to call me okay? I’ll be home right away.”

“I’m not even sick anymore,” he says while his eyes track the characters on TV. “I’m just sleepy.”

“Okay,” I stroke his head of soft curls. “Don’t stay up too late. I love you.”

“He won’t,” my mom says. I make sure she knows to call me before I head out to meet Harry at a restaurant he picked. It wasn’t somewhere I’d been before, and to be honest with Julien being so sick last night I didn’t have much time to think about what I agreed to. Only on the tube ride there does it hit me.

I’ll hear him out, I figure. I wasn’t going to tell him about Julien, not yet. A plan was shaping in my head--I would help him with his party, finish with him and then tell him when everything settled. It would be a courtesy, I would make it clear Julien was mine and if he wanted a relationship with him he would have to arrange that with me. But today, I would hear him out and smile politely because sometimes, thinking about how Harry and I ended still hurts like it happened yesterday but I couldn’t let him know.

I spot the back of Harry’s head outside the restaurant. When he spots me, he lights up and his smile is a thousand watts directed at me. There was a time when I would have killed to see that smile directed at me, he looked good--it hurt.

I nearly stumble and smile back as brightly but I reign it in. Instead I wave, and rush to get beside him. There was a certain magnetism with Harry and I that I couldn’t deny, it’s how we got on so well before. But it felt like our past, this secret I held changed my magnetic field so with him, I could only ricochet.

“Hey,” I say out of breath. “Did you just get here.”

“Parking was a nightmare,” he gestures vaguely down the road. “So I just walked up.”

Harry could barely pay for his share of rent when we were together, and here he was driving around London to fancy restaurants. Life had been good to him, which I was happy for, but it hurt he’d walked all over me to get there. I glance up at him as we walk in, he’s smiling jovially with the hostess and I secretly wonder if this was all a mask he wore. If the person he really was, was the one I got to know before we broke up.

“You look amazing by the way,” Harry says after we shed our jackets. I’d worn a flattering sage sweater dress that made up for its modest high neck and long sleeves by hitting me mid-thigh. There was a reason I had worn my trench coat on the ride here, it was short. “I’m really glad you agreed to this.”

I nod, the wave of realization that I would have to look him in the face for the next hour and talk to him like he hadn’t broken my heart and I wasn’t hiding such a life-changing secret from him. “Thanks yeah, i thought it was the adult thing to do. Since we’ll be working together.”

“To working together,” Harry clinks his water against mine. I give a tight-lipped smile and busy myself with the menu. But after we order, with nothing between us and my hands unoccupied I have to look at him. He’s watching me, which makes for an intense stare-off as we catch each other’s eye. I forgot how easy it was to be in Harry’s presence, how before it got bad, it was good. He would make me feel less anxious any time he was around. He used to be the safety of home to me.

“So,” I break the awkward silence. “Catch me up with you.”

“You know me, my life is online. How about you?”

‘You first,” my heart goes thumpthump thumpthump. “Successful EP and upcoming album...?”

“Yeah,” he’s luckily saved by the arrival of our wine. We sit in silence as our glasses are filled. I wondered if the waiter could feel the tension. “I had to really fight for even a single, my management was really awful back then--”

“Finn,” I can’t help the name coming out of my mouth like I’d taken a swig of sour milk. “I remember.”

“Yeah, him.” He looks down at his wine. “By the time I had to renew contracts, I’d taken over most of his role anyway. It was crazy at certain meetings, I was the only person in there that had my own back. But I managed to win in the end, got the EP out. Had a lot to write about…y’know.”

There he goes looking at me with those eyes again, now it’s my turn to look down into my wine and try not to think thoughts like, you didn’t even know I had your back during those times.

“I was kind of surprised when you said you never listened to the album.”

“That’s a bit arrogant.”

“Never said I wasn’t,” he flashes a smile that falls flat when I don’t return it. “I just uhm, did you never look me up? I looked you up sometimes, you did such a good job at disappearing I could barely find anything about you. It felt like...a punishment.”

“I didn’t ‘disappear’ to punish you,” I make myself clear. “I just. I had to.”

“You moved from our flat, did you get any of the voicemails or the emails I sent you?”

“I moved a few weeks after,” a few weeks where he never came back for me. Every time there was a knock at my door that was unexpected, I half-thought it would be Harry. That he would apologize and I might take him back, that I would tell him I was pregnant. That we could make our way back. But it never was.

“The voicemails?”

“I didn’t get them.”

“That’s probably good,” Harry flashes a dimpled smile. “I was very drunk in some of them. Probably crying...it wasn’t my shining moment. I-well I don’t think I had any shining moments in our last year. I was pretty shite boyfriend but I still hoped sometimes that maybe one day you’d call me and tell me you’re sorry too and we could figure it out...”

We go quiet as our food is brought to us. I watch Harry interact with the waiter, and think about what he’s said. He had regrets, that’s all I’m hearing. And with the way he treated me I didn’t exactly feel bad for him.

“I can’t get over the fact that you had a kid,” Harry continues on. “I never thought...”

“I would have a kid?” I ask when he trails off.

“No, we talked about kids a lot. Back when we were together. I knew you wanted them but that’s how I always pictured it—us having kids. Together. So yeah, I think it just shocked the hell out of me when I saw this cute kid and he was yours. And he wasn’t mine.”

Fuck, I stab my plate and try not to let my panic show. Did he know? He had to know, he was being so bloody obvious. But his expression is sincere, he doesn’t look like he’s testing me or anything. God, how can he be saying things like this not realizing the irony. I want to die.

“I was just as surprised when I found out I was pregnant,” I try to stick to easy details. “But, getting the chance to be a mother is something I never knew I wanted. Wouldn’t change it for a thing.”

We catch eyes again, and there it is, the fondness blooming in my chest. I see it in his eyes too as he says softly, “I always knew you would be a phenomenal mother.” The regret is all over his face.

I drop my fork and gulp some more wine. trying to wash away the warmth in my chest as he goes on. “I want to explain myself--how I treated you like I did but there’s no explanation for it. Really it was Niall that made me realize what a dick I was becoming. I lived with him for a bit, wrote a lot of my songs on his living room couch. Came to a lot of realizations.”

“Niall’s always been a good friend,” I missed him.

“He missed you just as much,” he says. “I’m ashamed to say I don’t know who I became then Y/N. I put you through every bad thing that happened to me, I wasn’t supportive or appreciative. I see that now—I saw it after we broke up, that’s why I tried so hard to reach you.”

“It was too late Harry.” I lie. “There was too much baggage with us. You—you said some unforgivable things, it would have been hard.“

“I know,” he looks down. “I never stopped loving you Y/N.”

I freeze, “I—that’s not...I don’t want to hear that Harry.”

“I just need to let you know,” he says simply but I’m already pushing my meal away. “I just want you to know that. Y/N, half my album is about you, I just need you to hear that, wish you had listened to it. I’m sorry and no matter what I still love-“

“Stop!” I say a bit too loudly, panicked because this felt like a farce. One day soon he would hate me again and I couldn’t handle confronting the crushing realization.

“Okay I’m sorry,” Harry holds his hand up. I can’t hear him say those words without wanting to cry in frustration and be sick from the guilt. “I have to go.” I get my coat off the back of the chair and begin walking out, it was rude but I couldn’t stand to be in there any longer. I hit the cold air of the streets. What was I thinking having dinner and not expecting it to end in disaster.

“Y/N!” A distant voice calls me. It’s Harry’s, but I keep walking. He’s out of breath by the time he reaches me. “I pushed too far, listen, Y/N!” He steps in front of me and blocks my path, holding onto my arms. I jerk away but he steps in sync with me when I step to the side. He puts his hands out, “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, I just--”

“I’m not uncomfortable, I’m just trying to go home.” I try to side-step him again but he’s in my way. “Harry!” I push him and make enough room to slip past, but his long legs keep up with mine.

“Please don’t let tonight end like this,” Harry says beside me.

“Like what? I’m going home. We had our discussion. You apologized and that’s that!” I finally stop at a street corner near a row of bushes.

“I apologized but you never said you were okay,” Harry’s cheeks are a bright pink. This is all too familiar, this back-and-forth before Harry explodes and runs away from the argument. “I don’t know where we stand I—that’s why we agreed to dinner. For closure right?”

“If you’re expecting forgiveness, I can’t just give that to you. I can’t just forgive you!”

“I’ve changed,” he bends slightly to meet my gaze. It surprises me when his tone softens, when he doesn’t raise his voice back at me. “I promise I’m not that version of me anymore.”

“I can’t trust that!” I want to believe him, god I wanted to believe it but instead I shout too loud again, catching a few stares. I lower my voice. “I can’t trust you, I don’t know who you are. I thought I did once upon a time but you...you became such a cold and selfish guy that I slaved over and—and admit it you didn’t even love me by the end of it. The things you said...you don’t say those things to someone you love.”

“You don’t,” he agrees right away. “I didn’t even know who I was. I know who I am now. You have to trust me.”

“Well you have to earn trust,” I say. And I don’t realize it until I say it but it was true, that’s always what kept me from contacting him about Julien. I didn’t trust that he could love him the way I do, I couldn’t trust he wouldn’t come into our lives and try to take him from me too and break my heart all over again. I needed to know Harry really was changed before I could let him into Julien’s life as his father.

“I intend on doing that. I want you back in my life whatever way you want.” He slips his hand into mine but I can’t stand his touch and I have to pull away. It hurts him, I can tell, but all the memories of feeling unloveable while his cold eyes watched me as he said even colder words hit me again and I can’t see the man in front of me. Just the man that I knew last. So his hurt is the last of my concern, because even after having a child and going through multiple sessions of therapy I can’t forget standing on the other side of his venomous words.

“Be careful what you wish for,” I say bitterly. After I tell him about Julien we would be in each other’s lives forever. But before he can ask what I mean my phone vibrates and brings me out of my thoughts. Mum, my breath catches.

“Mum? What’s happened?? Is Julien okay?”

“Y/N, calm down.” My mum says in her calm voice when I get too panicked. “Julien is fine, he’s asleep now but he was all sick again--”

“I’m coming right now,” I say. Harry touches my back and points in the direction of his car, knowing it was my fastest way home I follow him. “How much was he throwing up?”

“Not much, Y/N honestly I knew I shouldn’t have called. Stay where you are, I’m just calling you now because I asked Shaza down the hall and she came to look at him--she’s studying to be a podiatrist so she know-”

“A pediatrician?” I ask, keeping my eyes on the back of Harry’s black coat. “Does she actually know what she’s talking about?”

“Yes—I hear traffic Y/N you best not be coming home. He threw up once, his fever broke I think whatever bug he’s caught is gone now. I just wanted to call you to check in.”

“I’m done dinner anyway, I’m coming home.”

“That was quick.”

We’d reached Harry’s car. “Yeah well, not much to discuss. I’ll see you in a bit. Bye mum.”

“What’s happening?” Harry asks as he gets into the car but I stay on the sidewalk.

“I can take the train,” I let out a deep breath. “Jules was sick again but his fever broke, false alarm.”

“I know you want to get to him as soon as possible,” Harry turns the ignition. “Just get in Y/N.”

I go around and do just that, and most of the ride is spent in silence as I text my mum and he focuses on driving. I don’t even realize we’ve reached my mum’s, or that I never gave him the address but he drove here all on his own. The warmth of fondness spread through my chest again, but I stifle it with the ever-present anger.

“Thank you,” I say sincerely. “I would invite you up...”

“Your mum might kill me,” Harry chuckles. I bite down on my lip. “Wait, does she know you’re out with me?”

“No? I wasn’t sure how she would react--”

“A lot of cursing, I wouldn’t blame her.” Harry says, giving me a way out. He thinks I’m being polite but it was complicated. My mum hated what he did to me, but the fact that Jules is growing up without a father hurts her too so if he was in his life she would be happy for him at least. “Are you staying at your mum’s? I can give you a lift home if you needed?”

“No,” I get out of the car and walk to his side. “I’ve had you drive around town enough. I’ll just call an Uber.”

“I’m staying here until you come back down,” Harry turns his keys and the car turns off with a blink.

I roll my eyes, I couldn’t argue with him when he made up his mind like this. I talk in hushed whispers when I go up and wrap a half-asleep Julien in his coat. I hold him tight to me, his limbs felt longer than the last time I’d picked him up and it always felt like I was catching up to him these days. Before I knew it, he’d be taller than me. I wondered then, on the lift down, if he would get his height from Harry.

Harry is sat in the car with his arms crossed and looking thoughtfully out the window. I wonder what he’s thinking about.

He jerks up when he sees me and starts the car, and I slide into his backseat with Julien in my lap.

“I thought you’d be up there longer,” Harry whispers as he pulls out of his spot. We hit a red light immediately and he meets my eye in the rearview mirror. “Is he okay?”

“Sleeping,” I rest my nose on his mess of hair and inhale the baby smell I loved. “He’s okay, his fever’s gone.”

“That’s good.” a smile in the rearview before the green lights cut through the night. We ride home in silence, a quietness that almost feels normal. I direct Harry where to go—I was only fifteen minutes from my mum, and when he parks down the street from my flat he rushes out and gets my door for me. He takes Julien from me as I grab his go-bag.

Julien stirs on Harry’s shoulder--on his dad’s shoulder. The thought feels dizzying. Harry is so careful with him as we go inside. My lobby is nothing like his, it’s not even a lobby, just a long corridor with the lifts on the right. Harry lets me lead the way, and before I can even think about what’s happening, Harry’s stepping into my dingy flat.

“Don’t mind the mess,” I say, completely embarrassed as he walks through the living room. A basket of laundry that needs to be folded sits beside the coffee table that has Julien’s sippy cup and two mugs of stale coffee. One side of the sofa is littered with lego and books. “I haven’t had much time to clean...”

“It’s a home,” he says, his voice cracks as he says it.

“I’ll put him to bed,” I take Julien from him quickly but Harry automatically moves to unzip his coat when I’ve got him. I feel fluttery, watching the thoughtful motions with his son. It reminds me of all the ways he cared for me when we were younger. As soon as the zip is undone I move Julien to his bedroom. I dress him in PJs, and he only wakes when I kiss his forehead.

“Mummy?” he whispers.

“I’m right here,” I feel a tear slip down my cheek. This whole evening was proving to be more emotional than I could handle. “Sorry I wasn’t there when you felt sick.”

“I’m not sick anymore,” he repeats. His tiny arms lock around my neck and pull me down into his pillow. I stay there until he relaxes, his arms falling away like the tears that slip easily down my cheek. I’m glad it’s dim, as I tuck him in and wipe the tears that don’t stop coming down. His father was right outside, and he’s gone his whole life without knowing him. It was unfair to him, and unfair to Harry--I knew that. I was selfish, I wanted him all to myself, and I was still holding onto the hurt Harry caused me.

“Everything alright?” Harry whispers when I walk out. He’d taken it upon himself to look through the photos scattered throughout the surfaces that had a few pictures of Julien and I as he grew. I know he’s seen the picture of Jules from a few years ago, he’s a carbon copy of his dad at that age, except for his eyes. I’m hoping Harry doesn’t make the connection, that he’s not thinking that hard about it.

“He’s in bed now,” I say. “I’m relieved to have him under the same roof as me! Sorry to keep you waiting, can I get you a drink?”

“No, I’m alright.” he moves towards the door and the twinge of disappointment surprises me. “I’m going to have to drive home.”

“Right, well I’ve got tea?”

“I...” Harry hesitates where he is. His eyes flit across my face, “Were you crying?”

“Yeah,” I laugh. “I’m an emotional mess when it comes to Jules. It’s nothing to worry about.”

“I know we’re...not what we used to be but, could I give you a hug?”

I stare, he takes a step towards me and I clear my head. It would be awkward if I said no, he did drive me home, plus “I could use one.”

But it was the wrong thing to do, even though it felt so right to be held like this. Folded into his chest as his strong arms pull me tight against him, it feels like more than just a sympathetic hug. It feels like seeing each other the first day back from winter break, it feels like celebrating graduation with a new flat, it feels like being comforted after not getting the job, it feels like birthdays and holidays and running out of steam after an explosive argument, crawling back to each other because we used to be like that—we couldn’t live without each other. Oh god, he was going to hate me. I’m going to have to break his world and he was going to hate me.

I push him away before he could feel the sob come up, I turn and walk into the toilet. I couldn’t be in the same room as him right now, and he must realize it. I hear the front door close softly as he leaves. Maybe Harry and I reached the end of the book a long time ago. I lower myself onto the toilet seat and cry into my hands, if there was another chapter ahead, it wasn’t going to end well. Maybe Harry and I were never meant to end well.

Harry’s POV

It’s been a few weeks since I saw her in person, and I forget how I survived five years without her. I feel like a drug addict going through withdrawal: Our virtual meetings don’t cut it, I have next Friday circled in red in my head for when we check out venues together. I can’t stop thinking about her, can’t stop thinking about my next fix of her. As the holiday season settles around us, all I seem to see are happy couples and Christmas trees and all I can think about is all of the Christmas memories we had together.

I can’t get her out of my head. Her smell, the feel of her tucked under my chin in the dim lighting of her flat, the way she looked at me when I took her son from her arms and helped her up, her perfume and the smell of her in her flat, the mug she stole from my kitchen in uni sitting on her coffee table, her short dress and her soft thighs on my leather seats as she texted her mum in my passenger seat, how we looked at each other across the table for a moment that night and I thought I saw my Y/N. But I must have been dreaming. That’s what I have to tell myself.

“How long do you think it’ll take before she forgives you?” Niall asks across my dining table. Apparently he had lunch with Y/N and Julien on Saturday, she apologized to him for cutting him off. Lucky bastard.

“I don’t know if she will,” I scratch out the line I just edited. “She confuses me. She could hardly stand to touch me when I tried to hold her hand after dinner, but in her flat she let me hug her.”

“And then she ran away crying,” Niall heard this story half a dozen times already. “You’re not good for her right now.”

“She’s sort of planning my party...”

“You’ve got issues,” Niall throws a pick at me. “So uh, has she said anything about Julien?”

“What do you mean?” I perk up. “Did something happen?”

“No,” he shrugs. “It’s just her son...”

“I know, I’m still wrapping my head around that. So how did your date go last night?”

“Ehm,” Niall scratches his arm, I could tell a nervous Niall from miles away.

“What happened?”

“A date, it was good. Probably not getting a second date.”

“Did you talk about your ex this time?”

“That was you,” Niall reminds me of one of my worse dates. “I brought up my mum...it didn’t go well. There’s no going back.”

“Better luck next time,” I say sympathetically. “Maybe we should have a boy’s night out hey? How does Saturday sound?”

“Actually...” Niall hesitates. “I’ve got uhm, a thing to go to.”

“A thing?” I raise my eyebrow, I knew Niall’s lying tic.

“Yeah, I’m gonna be busy.”

“What kind of thing...?”

“Okay, fine!” Niall huffs. “Y/N’s asked me to be her plus one to this Christmas thing.”

My mouth dries up, “What?”

“It’s nothing serious, she said her company throws these Christmas parties and they invite their families and stuff. She said she wants to see me more when she apologised to me, and she invited me. So people stop asking her when she’s going to get a boyfriend.”

“So-so you’re going as her date.”

“No! Not like that, I wouldn’t do that to you. It’s just a date. You know we’re best mates.”

“She didn’t even tell me about it.”

“No offense, but why would she?”

“Who’s side are you on?” I ask, feeling betrayed.

“I’m on your side, always, but c’mon mate. You broke her heart why would she invite you?”

“We’re getting along again, The Plan is working.”

“Firstly,” Niall wags his finger. “I’m not sure why you’re doing this whole Plan, it sounds fucking mental. Secondly, her family’s going to be there and they probably hate you. And do you forget Y/N and I were friends before you two dated?”

“I’m your best mate! Niall please, find a way to invite me. I’ll owe you big time.” I plead but no matter what I say Niall doesn’t give in. Until I realize, “Oh, her sister’s gonna be there isn’t she? Saf?”

“No, what? Probably.” Niall’s cheeks redden and I know I’ve got him.

“The sister you dated behind her back?”

“She doesn’t know, don’t you dare say anything to her!”

“Look, I might slip up and say something. Unless, say, you’re there with us making sure I stay quiet.”

“Don’t do this,” Niall groans. “It’s in two days.”

“So should I tell her gently or just say you dated her baby sister?” I grin, only feeling slightly guilty. But Niall had to get me in, I had to see her again.

“You’re a dick,” Niall gets up and closes his laptop, shoving it into his bag.. “You’re my best friend, you’re not supposed to blackmail me.”

“I’m sorry,” I say. “I just need to see her Niall, there’s something there I swear.”

“Okay,” Niall relents. “I’ll see what I can do. Her family might be there.”

“One step at a time,” I say even though the idea of seeing them makes me want to eat glass. “I just need to show her I’m not that guy anymore. I’ve changed, I’m not that guy right?”

“No,” Niall shakes his head. “You’re not Harry, I don’t think you were ever...you got lost when things got rough but you’ve always been Harry. Except when you’re blackmailing me, then I don’t care what happens to ya’”

Y/N’s POV:

“I love Christmas,” Jules jumps on my bed as I carefully apply my eyeliner. “It’s the best day ever!”

“You just love it because Santa gets you all the presents.” I say. “And stop jumping on the bed you little monkey, you’re going to wrinkle your shirt.”

“No, I love Christmas because Grandad gives me sweets and everyone gets together and we all eat yummy food and Aunt Saf always plays her video games with me and-”

“Okay Jules,” I chuckle. “It’s the best day ever!”

“I know!” He does one last jump and ends it by sitting down. “Your makeup is taking soo long.”

“Stop distracting me!” I turn to look at him. “Why don’t you get your get your coat out of the closet and my square purse?”

“The letter one?” He asks, it was shaped like an envelope so it became the only identifiable bag.

With him gone for a few minute, I quickly finish the other side and am just done my lipstick when he shows up with his coat zipped and my purse in hand. and my heels crushed against his chest. “I even got you your shoes from the closet.”

“You’re the sweetest boy,” I squish his cheek in a kiss and he rushes to the mirror to wipe the lipstick off but only manages to smudge it. At least he’s distracted.

My phone vibrates with a call, it was Niall. “Hiya, I was just about to head out.”

“Oh yeah,” his voice sounds rough and my heart drops. Was something wrong? “I’m really sorry to do this so last minute--”

“Niall please, don’t say you’re cancelling. I was counting on you!”

“Yeah, I...I got food poisoning? I’m still not feeling well.”

“Jeez,” I flop down on the bed and Julien looks over at me curiously. “Sorry, that’s shitty. D’you think you could make it late or it’s bad?”

“Uhm, maybe later.” His voice is a bit muffled. Maybe he was in bed. “Good news, I asked Harry and he’s free so-”

“No.”

“-pick you up and...No?”

“Did Harry put you up to this? Niall! Why would you set me up like this?”

“It’s not my fault!” he squeaks. “Really, if I could make it I would but I can’t right now. You and Harry are cool right? You’re just going as friends.”

“I told everyone at work I was bringing a special someone.” I want to swear but I don’t want Julien’s eyes to get any bigger.

“Shite,” Niall has the audacity to laugh. “I’m really sorry I didn’t know you...oh god I want to laugh.”

“You better not, if you’ve already told Harry whatever. Tell him I’ll meet him there. I’m not forgiving you for this Niall Horan.”

“I’ll make it up to you,” Niall says with a laugh in his voice. I put it down before he can let it out.

“Let’s get our taxi,” I tell Julien. “It’s just you and me for now.”

***

Honestly Harry, don’t bother. I’m sure you’re busy. I text Harry back when he texts to confirm the address. He texts that he’s already on his way, which make me suspicious of the quick timing. There was something fishy going on, but I am too busy to think more about it. I have to convince Julien to behave and give him the lecture on the ride there, I spot my sister there and my brother’s family; as a partner I was encouraged to invite any family I wanted and the kids usually enjoyed it so they showed up for it.

I catch up with a few people and say hi to my favourite coworkers, and everyone badgers me about my date. They tease me when I say he got food poisoning, that he was made up which makes me confess he’d sent a friend in his place. I make sure to emphasize that to a few more than the rest, because I didn’t want my partners to think I was dating a client. Of course Harry didn’t think that through when he accepted Niall’s offer.

“So, you look like a million pounds.” Harry says beside me after I pick up another champagne flute. I can smell the musky perfume he wore, with its hint of sweet floral, my stomach flutters at the strong urge it brings to bury my face in his chest.

“Thank you,” I wrap my arm around my waist, feeling awkward. I did look like a million pounds, silver silk draped over my body that hit me mid-calf, and a deep V neck on both the front and back. But hearing my ex compliment me so genuinely made me self-conscious. “You look nice.”

“Oh, thanks,” Harry says uncomfortably and I want to dash out of the conversation but I’m saved by Jules, my angel. “Hey! Harry!”

“Hey buddy, you remember my name?”

“Yeah, you have the coolest guitars! I remember when you played all the strings!” Jules wraps an arm around my knee as he looks up to Harry with an awed expression. If only he knew Harry was a Musician with a capital M. And a Dad with a capital D. Shite.

“Well you’re welcome to play some more anytime you want.” Harry chuckles at the enthusiasm and Jules looks up at me excitedly. I tell him not to get too carried away, and luckily his cousin finds him and pulls him back to play.

“Is that...?”

“Danny? Yeah, all grown up. He’s 7 now.” We watch my nephew run to the other kids whilst holding Julien’s hand. I forgot Harry knew him as a kid.

“So that means your family’s here?” Harry drags out the question.

“Saf, and Daniel,” my brother named his firstborn after himself, it was a whole thing when it happened. “Daniel’s wife, his kids. Don’t hold your breath, my parents had other commitments.”

Harry lets out an exaggerated breath which makes me laugh, and surprisingly the rest of the evening isn’t so painful. A few people recognise Harry, he makes a show of knowing who Emily is, and although it gets a bit tense between my sister and him, I sit between them during dinner and it’s almost like old times until Julien tries to sit on me and Harry moves down so that Jules is sitting in between both parents. Saf nudges me, and I shoot her a look. I knew what was happening.

But Harry is so gentle yet playful with Julien, and Jules loves him. It gives me a break, allowing me to talk to those around me while we eat and it takes me a moment to realize this is what it could be like if I ever co-parented. This is what it was supposed to be like. And if I’d drank anything that night, the thought sobered me entirely.

Niall shows up after dinner as the drinks are flowing freely, he looks like he was never sick tonight but he swears he was. I third-wheel him and Harry as they talk in industry code, until my sister joins me.

“Safs, you remember Niall,” I say when she hands me a spritz.

“Ehm yeah, Safira, hi,” Niall shakes my sister’s hand awkwardly when she goes in for a hug. It’s so awkward and ridiculous I have to laugh. 

“It’s been a while,” my sister bounces on her heels. “You mastermind this?”

Niall looks over at Harry, my sister was referencing his invitation and Niall denies it but the smile on his face tells me otherwise. What was he up to?

“He’s dead to her,” Safs goes on like Harry isn’t there. “I’m surprised you tried to play matchmaker again.”

“That’s not for you to say-” Harry tries to cut Niall before he can defend him and tries to tell Saf that he wasn’t here to cause any trouble. But Saf isn’t listening, she’s having a conversation with Niall with her eyes. It was interesting, and something niggles at me but my emotions are too heightened to make sense of it. I’m taken aback by how comfortable my sister felt with Niall, enough to argue publicly, but she was head-strong and I don’t question it.

“She’s a bit drunk, sorry boys.” I give her a look she teases me for, says I look like mum when I do. She scowls at me appropriately and stalks off, surprisingly Niall follows her. I turn to Harry, “I don’t know why he’s following.”

Harry agrees. His eyes are locked on Niall and Saf bickering away like an old couple. “What a pair, those two.”

There it was, I look back at Niall and my sister. I remember that awful New Year’s party, Niall had flirted all night with Saf. Did they...I shake my head, I’d told Niall she was off limits there was no way... “They fight like an old couple.”

“Uhm,” Harry chokes out a laugh. “They do right?”

Harry’s POV:

I knew the moment would come when someone in Y/N’s family decided to grill me, I should’ve known it would be Safira. After she’d chewed Niall out and he heads for a drink, my conversation with Y/N is cut short when an old client of hers pulls her away. I watch as he makes her laugh, and my stomach churns. I’m left to stand aimlessly. And so of course she finds me, a fierce expression ready to battle.

“You’ll burn a hole right through his skull,” Safira says in my ear. I jerk back to stare, she looks less like a kid from the last time I saw her. She was probably in her 20s now. “You’re staring.”

"I’m not,” I retaliate.

“No, don’t do that.” She crosses her arms and shakes her head. “She doesn’t belong to you or something. She can have fun with a stranger if she wants, I’m sure you did plenty of that.”

It’s hard to take her seriously when she slurs half her words but the poisonous glare she shoots me sharpens the curves of her speech.

“You used to be so cute and harmless when Y/N and I first dated, now you can’t wait to bite our heads off.” I goad her, the same way I used to when Y/N and I first got together.

“Don’t do that either,” she punches my arm. “I’m not 16 anymore.”

“I know,” I look at her. She softens a bit, glancing out to Y/N which reminds me why I was so worked up. “Maybe I just need to get wasted so this doesn’t sting as much.”

She tilts her head to the drinks and I follow her, we drink in amicable silence. It doesn’t feel like she’s forgiven me, but like she’s willing to put up with me. It’s quieter where we are so I try to get some information from her. When I mention Julien, just like at Y/N’s office, Saf’s face softens.

“I love that kid, always thought I hated kids but he‘s the cutest, squishiest little thing.”

“He is,” I smile. “You lot are all very close with him?”

“My parents are putty in his hands,” she says fondly.

“His dad’s not in the picture is he then?”

She pauses mid-sip and eyes me, and then her expression changes to something I don’t understand before she shuts it down. “No, they split shortly after.”

That was a bit more to go off of at least. Maybe Niall can snoop through her instagram, who was she dating four year ago? “That’s a shame.”

“Don’t really like his dad,” she says with a ferocious intensity as she pushes away from the table. “Thought he was one of the good ones but he wasn’t.”

And just like that she leaves, without a second glance. It takes me a moment to shake off the information. Y/N dated a dick after me, I feel overprotective and angry and I know it’s mostly the drink but it doesn’t help that she’s still laughing with the good looking bloke. I turn to the bartender and he puts two shots in front of me without a word. I down them like water and turn back to where Y/N leans against a wall talking.

I had to get her away from him, I think. Or maybe the drink thinks it, but I’m moving towards her as fast as I can until I nearly crash into her.

“Woah, Harry.” she puts a hand on my arm and it stings and soothes. How did I let her go?

“Sorry,” I mumble. “I was getting a bit bored. Hi.”

“Hiya,” the other guy smiles politely. “I’ve taken enough of your time, I’ll go back to the wife but I’ll see you at the office in the New Year. Nice to meet you.”

I nod at him and find Y/N looking at me with a puzzled expression when I turn back. “What?”

Y/N’s POV:

When he looks at me I feel like I should look away, his expression feels like something private--what he’s feeling, it’s so naked on his face and I feel like I shouldn’t be seeing it.

“Nothing,” I shake my head. “I think you’d had enough to drink tonight.”

“I’m not drunk,” Harry splays his hand beside against the wall beside me, but because I’m in heels he’s not towering over me.

“But you’re getting there,” I level him with a look. “And I don’t want you to get sloppy in this crowd.”

“Right,” he hangs his head. “I missed ya Y/N.”

“I...” I don’t know what to say to that, there was too much to say and not enough. But I see the sadness in the downturn of his mouth, the shame in eyes, the frustration in his brows. I see him, the whole him, in that single moment. Anyone could take one look at him and see a man with regrets, but what scares me is what else I see: a man with love. “It’s getting late, I should get Jules and myself home.”

“Now?” Harry stands straight. “I-I’ll find Niall.”

We stand for a beat before heading in opposite directions, Jules is playing with new friends since his cousins went home a little while ago. His sweater is missing and I finally locate it under one of the Christmas trees. I look for Saf to say goodbye but she’s gone, and I type her a text one-handed while the other holds Jules’ who clutches his goody bags.

I nearly drop my phone when Harry shows up in front of us, and Julien laughs at my startled expression.

“What are you still doing here?”

“I ehm, my phone died. And I couldn’t find Niall anywhere.” Harry says with an embarrassed smile. “I’ve been trying to get a taxi but, every single bloody one that pulls up was called for.”

“You could’ve just asked the front desk to call you one,” I look around and sigh. “You can ride with us.”

“Is Harry coming over?” Julien overhears and interprets the conversation.

“It’s well past your bedtime,” why did my kid love Harry this instantly. “You shouldn’t be concerned about who’s coming over.”

“Please?” he stares up at me with his puppy eyes and the mom-guilt creeps in. He wanted to spend time with his dad even though he didn’t realize it. “Harry can teach me some songs!”

“He has a toy guitar,” I explain to Harry. “Jules has to be in bed in a half hour, but you can share our ride.”

“S’alright love,” Harry smiles sheepishly. “I can just take the tube home.”

“With your pass?” I raise an eyebrow.

“Ah, dead phone. Shh...shoot.” Harry side eyes Jules who is tugging my hand with excitement.

“Okay, Harry’s coming with us,” I say and I regret it the second we get into a car. Jules settles between us, and after a few moments in the lull of the heated car, he tips to his right and onto Harry’s arm. He’s out like a light. Harry lifts his arm up gently and maneuvers Julien into his chest, my heart nearly bursts out of his chest.

“I can get him here,” I whisper but Harry waves my hand away.

“He...” Harry starts before trailing off. “He’s a really great kid.”

“Oh,” a lump lodges itself in my throat, my eyes sting and I blink like a maniac to gain some composure. “He is. He really is.”

“Saf said your parents are putty in their hands, I can see why.” Harry continues. His face shines with a smile. “I don’t know if-I don’t know if it’s because he’s a piece of you or he’s just that special but, I would do anything for him too.”

“Harry,” I choke up. “Don’t say things like that.”

“Why not?” Harry whispers. “It’s how I feel.”

I stare at Jules’ head of curls, and find a similar one when I look up at Harry. It was hard to re-reconcile this man with the one I grew to love and the one who left me alone with an easy cruelty. I didn’t trust myself to decide which Harry was the real one.

“I wish I was there for you,” Harry continues. “After everything...I wish I was there for you. I wish I saw you become a mother, I know you hate me but I just wish...”

My hand finds his, wrapped around Julien’s back. I grasp his and give it a squeeze. “Just...leave it Harry.”

“I can’t,” he holds onto my hand tighter when I try to slip it back. “You still don’t trust me. And I can’t take the past back. I don’t know where I stand.”

He stood too close, I thought. I needed space from him, it was clear he still had love for me and I felt myself giving into the love that was achingly familiar. My body didn’t lie when it leaned into him involuntarily, but I couldn’t break my own heart like this. He would turn his casual cruelty back on me as soon as he found out the kind of secrets I was keeping.

“It doesn’t matter,” I whisper as we arrive to my building. Harry gets out with Julien and hands him over when I refuse any help getting to my flat. I didn’t want him to get the wrong idea even though seeing him with Julien, tonight at the party and in the car, thawed my heart a little. “Thank you.”

“Thank you,” Harry brushes my cheek. “For tonight.”

I nod and head home, without looking back. I had to figure out what I wanted from Harry, because things didn’t feel so straightforward anymore. I was scared that what I was seeing was the edge and any tiny momentum could tip me over the edge.

I go to my flat and try Saf again, I needed some sisterly advice. But she’s still unavailable. I try my mum next, she picks up on the third ring.

“So remember that work dinner I went to when Jules was sick...” I start off.

--------------------------

Tag List:

@harrysficreblog  @gayb4rbz  @divalovesyou

[potatomountain]

TLaM Chapter 3

"The Cozy Dragon Tavern”

mutant reader x human ateez- Seonghwa Focus

Word count: 2.9k

Warnings: there will be potential triggers for anxiety and mental illnesses all throughout this story. Not all characters are nice at first. 

AN: not all chapters are going to be long, a reminder a lot of the times i don't edit my works. Not gunna lie it took me awhile to figure out what to call the tavern xD but i love it haha. a reminder also that this is a slow burn, its going to take awhile for mc to meet and trust each of the eight but she’ll get there!

This is a work of fiction, in particular Fan fiction, and in no way is this a representation or an accurate depiction of ATEEZ or any other idols/people used for this work.

Any feedback is always appreciated and adored! Comment on the masterlist to be added to the taglist <3

Masterlist

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...

Things weren't improving at home, the tension was still so palpable I felt like I could cut it with my claws. It had barely been a full week before he figured out my routine and how to avoid me best. He would shower and eat while I slept through the mornings and I would do the same at night when I was sure he wouldn't leave his room. 

I wasn't trying to avoid him, just not make him any more uncomfortable than I'm sure he was. Okay… I was just as uncomfortable but more so because it wasn't just my space any more, and he didn't like me. Maybe if…

No, what good would it do if he did like me? Not like I knew how to talk to other people. It had always been my father and his team, and my mother when she had custody. I didn't know the first thing about friendships, or how to build them. How do you socialize without talking about the clear differences between you and the other person? 

My lack of social experience and relationships outside of my father and his research team left much to be desired; it actually irked me. Could I really make connections? Despite being what I am? Would others see past it?

The questions and unknowns plagued me all night, leaving me disgruntled and annoyed at the lack of sleep in the morning. My agitation had me hyper aware, the sound of the shower waking me from the bit of sleep I did manage to receive. 

Even without my father's request that we get along, I didn't want to live like this. Grumbling, I pulled myself out of bed, taking a moment to fully mask as I scoured my room for clean clothes. I couldn't ask San to open up to me when I wasn't social or welcoming to begin with. I should learn, definitely.

With newfound determination, and mismatched sweats loosely hanging on my body, I stepped out of my room the moment he left the bathroom between our rooms.

He froze, towel hanging around his waist and water still dripping off his body. I knew he was attractive, at least by human standards, but my cheeks flushed only because of the embarrassment I felt for staring. I opened my mouth to apologize, only to reach out in a hurry when he turned for his door with newfound haste. "Wait I- I need to say something!"

Hand hanging in the air inches from him, his own stopped on the door handle. The fact he was giving pause filled me with relief, and I rushed on. "I'm sorry you're stuck here with me but I don't think it's a good idea to continue pretending the other doesn't exist; not just because my father wishes we get along… I really want to get along, and I want this place to be comfy for the both of us."

"It's fine-"

"It isn't." I cut off his protests, lowering my hand to my front pouch pocket. "I don't know how to talk to other people, or get along with others, and not just because of what I am… but I'd like to try. You probably think a Typhon doesn't deserve friendships and you're probably right…"

He scoffed, but didn't elaborate, which just solidified the thought in my mind. "We don't have to be friends but I would like you to be comfortable here and eventually in my presence. However long it takes that's okay, I'm going to give you space. I'll be spending more time outside the apartment for a start, so please make this place comfortable for you. That's all I wanted to say." 

I turned to my room and shut the door before he got a chance to reply, cheeks heated and blue. I replayed the conversation in my head over and over while leaning against my door, until I heard the sound of his music filling his room. "I probably didn't make much sense. Gosh how many times did I just say the same thing? He probably thinks I'm awkward…"

Groaning, I pushed forward to find my bag and my nearly forgotten beanie. I was serious about one thing, and that was giving him space which I couldn't do constantly holed up in my room where there was the chance of running into me.

Bag, keys, phone, beanie, and finally sunglasses. It was an afterthought that had me stepping into the kitchen and writing a neat little note for him with my number, just in case. He didn't need to know where I was going, not yet.

Father would like that I was going to a Typhon shelter of sorts; especially since Doctor Park made it clear that Father didn't like the owner so well.

Without a second thought I was out the door, making the surprisingly not too long of a trip to what I hoped Doctor Park was right about: my new safe space.

The neighborhood wasn't far from my own, just two train stops on the subway and a five minute walk from there. It was one of the few industrial neighborhoods that was now an odd mix of residential buildings and failing businesses, probably due to the crime rate in the area. However, the shelter I came across stood out like a sore thumb.

The clean red brick behind an iron fence looked more like a prison at first, the tinted windows making it hard to see inside. The front gates were open and inviting but it was the large wooden sign above two large metal doors that changed the vibe of the building entirely. I had thought the name odd but, seeing the building, it was kind of fitting.

The Cozy Dragon Tavern. 

It said all it needed as to what was inside. It was a place that was to be safe to Monsters for both rest and relaxation, really fitting.

The tinted windows kept onlookers from peering into the comfortable space not meant for them, while giving the insiders a sense of normalcy to see the outside world. The gate was necessary no doubt, but left unguarded to be inviting; though even as I walked up to the door I knew I was being monitored. Have to keep the patrons safe right?

Despite how run down the door looked, it opened smoothly without much sound, but I could vaguely hear a chime further inside the building. Behind the shades my eyes took a moment to adjust to the lighting change as it was dimmer inside, no fluorescence.

I heard the footsteps before I saw who they belonged to, exiting a wide archway and stepping into the dim hallway a few feet in front of me. "Welcome to the Cozy Dragon Tavern! What can I do for you today?"

The tall human lifted his eyes from the phone in his hand to find me frozen in place just inside the door, wide eyed. He was beautiful, with platinum blonde hair that was almost white, and a face that I could only describe as gentle masculine beauty. I was staring, jaw slack enough he could tell I was even with the glasses in the way. My silence and awkwardness didn't seem to bother him, plush lips pulling up into a warm welcoming smile.

"First time?"

I could only nod.

"Do you need shelter?" I shook my head as he turned towards me but didn't step forward. "Just need a safe space to relax?" When I nodded he seemed to beam brighter. "Right in here is our lounge and rec room." He pointed to the arch to my left in which he had just left, then pointed to a set of double doors to my right. "Right through there us more for the younger one's, but you are welcome to play with them as well. There are only two children here now."

"Children? Typhon?" I asked incredulously.

"Mhmm. Would you like to meet them?"

I could hardly recall the last time I saw a Typhon child, considering most parents kept them homeschooled and indoors until they could properly pass as more of a human. Even those in public were rare.

I didn't think meeting one in an unfamiliar place would be good for me, I could already feel my spine moving as my nerves were on high alert. "Maybe later… I-" I blanked, looking down at my hands. Now that I was here- what did I want to do? 

As if sensing my internal struggle, the human put his phone away and motioned back to the direction he had come from. "How about for starters you take a seat and look over the small menu we have? First drink is on the house. I just need to check in on the kiddos."

I nodded, a bit disoriented as I watched him head into the double doors. Taking his advice I stepped further into the inn and into the lounge, my eyes nearly bulging out. There were all sorts of seats, from bean bags to leather recliners to tall stools, as well as an assortment of tables; with a variety of choices, I wasn't sure where to sit. 

The tingling up my back reminded me of what to avoid however, and I ended up sitting on a half circular ottoman, it's pair circling the other half of the coffee table between them. I angled my back away from the door, thankful that the only other one here was someone napping to the far left by a second door, their upper half hidden by a large beefy jacket.

Each table had a small pop-up in the center with a QR code under the words "Welcome, scan me to order!" I marveled at the menu that popped up on my phone a second later, reminding me of an old tavern menu, split into two parts: Typhon favorites, human favorites.

A place that caters to both? And with the base page for Typhons? It felt odd, surreal even, for such inclusion. It didn't even stop there- each product listed had an option to view the description given by the researchers who approved of these dishes, or of famous Typhons who liked the dish. 

I wasn't hungry just yet, but they really did look good. The drinks though? An even longer list of teas and drinks exclusive for Typhon digestive systems, including my favorite teas. 

My mind was reeling, nerves on edge as this felt too good to be real. What was the catch? What did this place want with Typhon's? Not even the other shelters I heard of gave much care to Typhon's, not this much.

A part of me felt seen, and it was quite scary.

Was this the doing of Doctor Park's son? The twist in my stomach decided my drink order for me as I set my phone down, brows furrowed. There was no reason to be scared just yet, I should at least have a cup of tea first.

The soft click of a door caught my attention, raising my head in time to see the human enter the room. "Are you ready?"

I nodded, staring up at the man and scrutinizing his appearance once more. His clothes were simple pastel fabrics, a lavender button up sweater and white slacks, giving off soft vibes despite how dangerously beautiful his face was. Just looking at him I felt no hostility or judgment, which made it easy to relax a bit in his presence. "Yes- the honey lavender tea for Typhons, extra honey and extra hot?"

"Sure thing. I'll grab that for you- make yourself comfortable." He motioned to my accessories. "Our mission is to be a cozy place for dragons after all."

Dragons. I liked that a whole lot more than Typhons.

Without a response from me, he left through the archway and made a left. I could hear him enter another room, but I tuned out the sounds of the kitchen. Instead I took his suggestion once more and pulled off my glasses and hat, suppressing a shiver at the lack of coverage.

It occurred to me then that it didn't feel as cold as I thought it would, in fact it was warmer inside than outside despite the summer heat. Did they take that into account as well? It was almost warm enough to- no, I should keep my sweaters on.

Instead I took the time to look around a bit more. There were different seating areas throughout the rather large room with quite a bit of space between them. To the right were two large tinted windows, both with their own seating arrangements in front of them and tables. The wall behind me had a built-in fireplace, electronic, that I just realized was on and heating up the room. On either side of the stone mantle were stone shelves with a variety of books and tabletop games to pass the time, with a flat screen TV above the mantle that currently wasn't on. A sign next to it read: want to play a game or use the internet? Scan this code! With a QR code under it.

To the left of the room were a few more seating arrangements, two of them in the back left corner were hidden by privacy screens. There was a large door next to them with a bathroom sign, and then a sectional couch to the right with the sleeping figure where the bit of light from the windows wouldn't even reach.

There were about ten seating areas in a large room about twenty-four meters long and twelve meters wide, plenty of space really. The walls were a pastel blue with dim yellow lights that provided just enough light to make the space cozy. Most of the furniture were blues or blacks, with pastel touches that gave it a homey feel. It felt quite comfortable, and isolated enough I almost forgot I wasn't alone.

Almost.

It wasn't the sleeping figure that reminded me, but the man from before returning with a small tray. He set it on the other side of the table, smiling over at me as he set the items in front of me: a small teapot and teacup with a side of sugar cubes and all natural honey. Even the teapot was cute with its matching cup but- "I thought only the first drink was free?"

He chuckled, a sweet sound that had color flooding my cheeks. "Yes, a pot of tea counts as one drink here." He stood up once again, moving the tray behind him. "My name is Seonghwa, Park Seonghwa, and I'm the owner here. Please tell me if I can do anything more to help you relax."

I stiffened at his name, a fact he noticed and stopped him from turning to leave. "Are you alright?"

Clearing my throat I looked up at him, taking in his features once more. "Ah, I can see the resemblance now. Actually… Doctor Park recommended this place to me."

"My father?" His smile was gone, brows lifted in shock but he didn't seem upset by the news. "Are you one of the Typhon's he works with?"

"Yes." I relaxed a bit, even though he moved to sit in the ottoman across from me. "He said this is a good safe space for those like me… you really put a lot of thought into this place huh?"

The blue of my skin deepened as he beamed with pride, nodding along. "Yes, Dad gives me a lot of pointers and works with me on what kind of environment and things help a Typhon. I wanted to make a place where they feel like they can belong. I hope you can feel like that here Miss… I'm sorry I didn't catch your name."

Swallowing the lump in my throat I looked down at the tea, feeling tears bubble behind my eyes. Barely audible for him, I muttered my name. "Call me whatever you like though."

Glancing up through my lashes I caught him staring with an expression I wasn't used to seeing on a human when looking at me: genuine awe.

"You have the prettiest blue cheeks Miss… can I call you Blue?"

I shrugged. "Sure if you want. Do you mind if I call you by your name?"

"By all means." Grinning from ear to ear he motioned to the tea. "Enjoy your tea, and if you like I can give you a tour afterwards. I'd like to get your opinion on this place." He stood up slowly, keeping a respectable distance from me at all times which I appreciated.

But I shook my head. "I don't think I'll be staying long… new places take a lot out of me, even if they do feel cozy."

"Hmmm noted. So I should create a reason for Typhon's to come back?"

I felt the corner of my lips twitch, pouring myself some tea and adding a nice dollop of honey. "Honestly… I think you already have."

Shocked, he gawked down at me, blinking a few times to process my words. "Does that mean you want to come back?" He leaned a bit closer, hopeful.

Instead of answering right away I took a sip of the tea, reveling in the heat that ran down my esophagus and spread warmth throughout my body. He was still waiting with bated breath as I set the teacup down. "This is some really good tea Seonghwa." Wanting to ease him just a bit I pulled my lips up into a small smile, giving a soft nod. "Worth coming back for."

=================

taglist (comment on masterlist to be added!)

@justhere4kpop  /  @hwaightme-recs  /  @candypop1611  /  @legohwas /   @spooo00oky

[raplinesmoon]

Turn Back Time (KSJ x F!Reader) - Teaser

pairing: baseball player!Seokjin x doctor!reader (based on the movie 13 Going On 30) genres/au/rating: fluff, humour, angst, smut, time travel au, 18+ summary: After total humiliation at his middle school baseball try outs, Kim Seokjin wants nothing more than for his awkward years to fade away until he’s thirty. Cue a magic baseball glove, and his wish is finally granted. Seokjin suddenly wakes up seventeen years later, now the star pitcher of the team he’d always dreamed of playing for. Confused and overwhelmed at the prospect of the new life waiting for him, he turns to the only person who seems to understand him — you. Will Seokjin learn what it truly means to be thirty, flirty, and thriving? Or will he find himself wishing he could turn back time?

warnings: Seokjin is confused, minor injuries, apartment intruders, baffling modern technology, minor mention of sensory deprivation (very mild)

word count: 6.4k so far (1.2k for this teaser - and still a lot left to write!) a/n: a very happy early 30th bday to our WWH! This is my submission for the Catch of The Century collab hosted by myself, @joheunsaram, and @kithtaehyung! I’ve been super excited about this concept and writing the role reversal with Seokjin, and 13 Going On 30 is only one of my favorite movies ever (seriously, it never misses on every single rewatch). I’m aiming to get this done before the end of November, bc I shall be unavailable to post during Jin’s actual bday (for good reason)! please let me know if you’d like to be added to the taglist!

Seokjin snorts in the middle of his slumber, shifting around to make himself more comfortable, when all of a sudden, he feels himself land on a hard surface with a thud. Cursing, he rubs his shoulder, standing up but tripping on the edge of something soft. 

His eyes open sleepily, but it’s still dark. Grumbling, he palms at his face, eventually finding the edge of something covering his eyes. A blindfold? How had that gotten there? Lifting it off, light floods his vision, and his heart stops.

The room around him was very unfamiliar - he catches sight of the rug he’d tripped on moments ago, his eyes travelling up to the sleek bed made out of dark wood with its rumpled sheets. This wasn’t his room. Where were all the baseball posters? And his GameCube in the corner? And his desk with his iMac?

There was only one answer for this - he’d been kidnapped. Panicking, Seokjin fumbles with the doorknob, stumbling into the hallway of the apartment, his eyes widening and heart racing at the even more unfamiliar surroundings. 

“Eomma?” he calls out, padding down the hallway and taking in the sparse decorations. “Appa?”

He pauses when he sees a poster on the wall, a scantily clad woman in what can only be described as a provocative pose, and his cheeks flush with heat. He turns his eyes away quickly, feeling like he’s violating someone’s privacy.

The living room is even more strange, full of black furniture and far more neat than Seokjin’s room had ever been. His eyes widen at the large flat-screen TV that sits in the corner, and he lets out a soft wow at the thought of being able to watch baseball games on there. 

He turns to look around even more, only to come face-to-face with a mirror. But the person staring back at him isn’t Seokjin. This person was not a thirteen year old with acne, a mouth full of braces, and dorky wire-rimmed glasses. He looked like one of those models on magazine covers, with hair pushed back from his face, skin clearer than the water at the beach, and a jawline that could cut glass.

He screams at the unfamiliar face, thinking there’s an intruder in the house with him. He staggers backwards, tripping on the raised entrance to the living room, and falling flat on his back. Pain explodes across the back of his head, and he wants to cry.

From elsewhere in the apartment, he hears a door click, and he peers over at the mirror again. He freezes when he realizes there is no other intruder. The figure in the mirror moves the same way he does, copying his exact movement, and Seokjin brings a hand to his face, seeing it rest on the jawline of the attractive reflection.

That was him. He was the man. Was this some kind of dream? Or an alternate reality? He tests the waters, feeling around his face, tugging at the skin to see if it was some sort of costume. His hands fly to his chest, realizing that he’s shirtless, and he’s amazed by the muscles he finds underneath his palms.

“What is happening?” he hyperventilates, shocked at the deep voice that comes out, so unlike his own. “What is going on?”

His anxiety increases as he begins to pace around the apartment, coaxing himself to breathe and to relax and take a seat. He’d find a way out of this.

Plopping onto the leather sofa, something on the coffee table catches his eye. It’s a letter, and he pales when he sees the name on the envelope. 

It’s his. Kim Seokjin. But that’s not his address. Frantically, he sifts through the mail, growing even more pale when he sees all the letters are addressed to him, and that they’re being sent to this same address. He lived here.

The sofa creaks as he rises up abruptly, searching anywhere he can for a phone. Finding it in the corner, he dials his parents’ number, silently praying they hadn’t changed it. His Appa’s voice greets him on the phone, saying that they were currently away in Korea, but they’d be back at the end of this month, and he lets out a heavy sigh. He was alone.

Seokjin thinks this is the weirdest dream he’s ever been in, but he’s interrupted by the sound of the sink turning on in what he can only assume is the bathroom in this place. 

“Seokjin, babe?” a female voice calls out from behind the door, and he jumps back, terror seizing him. This must be the strange woman who kidnapped him! She was probably some kind of weirdo, why was she calling him babe?

Seokjin searches for something, anything he can use to protect himself, settling on an umbrella in the corner. 

“I-, I know you’re there,” his voice wobbles as he yells out to the woman. “My parents are gonna be home soon!”

The door creaks open, and out steps a woman. The first thing Seokjin can think of is legs. So much leg, peeking out at him from underneath a fluffy white towel. And then he screams again. Because she’s naked under there. 

“Babe, where’s the conditioner?” she asks him, crossing her arms. Her chest is emphasized from this action, and Seokjin looks up at the ceiling. This was inappropriate. He had to get out of here now!

“Come join me!” her voice fades into the background as he runs, grabbing the first coat and the first pair of shoes he sees in the entry way. The stairs of the unfamiliar building wind around him as he descends, his head spinning, and before he knows it, he’s through a golden set of doors and out onto a busy city street.

A strange buzzing comes from his pocket, and Seokjin yelps. Was he being attacked? Had the government bugged him?

“Excuse me, ma’am, do you hear that?” he says frantically, pointing to his pocket. “Do you hear the buzzing?”

The woman passes him by without a second glance. 

“Kim!” a voice calls out to him. “Get your ass over here!”

Seokjin turns to the sound of the voice, and stops in his tracks when he sees the person calling out to him. 

It’s Jackson Wang, all suited up for practice. But he’s not the Jackson Seokjin remembers. The man chatters away on the phone angrily, gesturing for Seokjin to get in the car. What kind of world had he found himself in?

“I-, I don’t get in the car with strangers,” Seokjin says confidently, turning away from Jackson’s grabby hands. The man scoffs.

“Can you please just get in bro? We don’t have time for this, we’re gonna be late.”

“BAAABEEE?” Seokjin hears the voice from the apartment again, looking up to see the woman from the apartment calling down to him, now wearing a bra. She blows him kisses and giggles. He definitely did not want to be stuck with her. 

His head feels like it’s gonna explode, caught between two horrifying situations. But right now even thought it was Jackson, the dude in front of him seemed less weird, and so, he falls over into the seat of the car, the door slamming shut behind him.

a/n pt. 2: i hope you are hype!!

[writtenbymisunderstoodnerds]

Date (Christen Press x Reader)

It is 1:30am and this is absolutely not edited at all so mind any mistakes. I hope you enjoy :)

Warning- Some mentions of anxiety and panic attacks. 

Words: 2.5K

I was a highly anxious person. I know it's a bit weird considering I'm a professional soccer player who plays for the national team. The only time I'm ever really relaxed is on the field. Most of the time, seeing fans after the game doesn't make me that nervous either. Lot's of people, too much noise, media days, plus much more is what made me most anxious. So much so I'll have non-verbal episodes where I get overly anxious, I stop talking as a way to cope with it. My therapist and I had been working on ways to cope better which was helping slowly. It was still a big issue.

At my first camp I had quite a few non-verbal episodes which led the team to think I didn't really like them. After I got to know them a bit better, I had written a letter to explain, since no matter how much I tried I could never get out the words. They were all really supportive, still included me even when I stopped talking and started to be able to understand my way of communicating when I couldn't talk. I was more comfortable around them now which mean It was going non-verbal less. Except when it came to Christen. I had a huge crush on her, my anxiety spiked whenever she was around and I got incredibly nervous. She had never commented on it so I hoped she didn't notice. It also never changed the way she interacted with me. Despite how nervous she made me, I still found myself drifting to her in crowds as a form of comfort.

Kelley knew all about my crush on Christen. I'm not sure how she found out, but she did. Since then she has been trying to get me to ask her out. Kelley was pretty sure that Christen felt the same, I had never gotten the courage to do it though. Now, I had no choice. I was so sure I would beat her that I had made a bet, if I lost I had to ask Christen out. Of course I had lost. It took a lot of pacing and encouragement from Kelley to finally be able to even approach Christen. Then it took another few minutes before I could look at her let alone ask her.

"Are you okay Y/n?" Christen asked snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Go on a date with me?" I blurted before I could shut down again.

"Seriously?"

Her response had me panicking. I couldn't tell if she was just surprised or if she was disgusted by the idea, so before I could think about it, I responded, "I had to at least ask you, I lost a bet with Kelley."

"Well, you asked so that's that."

I realised that I messed up by saying that so quickly added, "Wait, I actually do want to go on a date with you, this bet with Kelley was just to push me to actually ask."

"Sure it was."

"I know that came out wrong, but I seriously do want to go on a date with you Chris. I've wanted to ask you for a while now, but you know words are not my strong suit at all and I was scared and nervous an-"

A hand on my arm made me freeze, "You're rambling."

"Sorry."

"Yes, I would love to go on a date with you Y/n."

"Really?" She only nodded in response, a small smile on her lips, "Awesome, um great, can't wait."

Christen giggled, "You're cute when you're nervous, do we wait until we're back in LA?"

"We can if you want, but uh I have an idea if you're free tomorrow night?"

"Well we don't have anything team related tomorrow night so yes I'm free."

"Cool, I'll pick you up at 5:30?"

"I can't wait." We just kind of stood there for a few seconds, until Christen spoke up again easing the slight awkwardness between us, "Help me pack these away?"

---

I hadn't slept well last night. All I could think about was my date with Christen which made me anxious because I wanted to impress her. I was also worried I would get so nervous around her that I would go non-verbal again. That was the last thing I wanted. Overthinking it would probably increase the chances of it happening, but I couldn't stop the thoughts no matter what I tried. I was even thinking about cancelling the date all together. All the thoughts, mixed with lack of sleep sent me into a panic attack before that could happen. Kelley had helped me through it before laying with me until I eventually fell asleep. When I had woken up again, I was alone, but a lot calmer. I was able to focus on setting up the date.

I had another mini panic attack in the shower when getting ready, but still managed to make it to Christens room on time. Christen was wearing a simple, sleeveless black lace skater style dress that stopped just above her knees, with low heels. I scanned her body quickly before forcing myself meet her eyes. She was stunning. I played with the ring on my finger to keep my nerves in check, "Y-you look um amazing."

She blushed slightly, "So do you Y/n." I was wearing black skinny jeans, with a burgundy button up and flat ankle boots. I naturally ran hot and it was a warm night so I wasn't wearing a jacket. If I'm being honest, the only reason I even had a jacket on me was incase Christen got cold.

"Shall we?" Christen slipped on her jacket then we made our way out of the hotel. The place we were going was only a five minute walk from the hotel. It took a lot to resist the urge to hold her hand as we walked. I know she agreed to go on a date with me, but I didn't want to do anything she might not want me to. My anxiety was already telling me that maybe she only said yes because she didn't want to hurt my feelings.

When we arrived at an apartment complex, Christen looked confused, but followed me up anyway. One of my friends was away for a couple of nights and had let me borrow her apartment. She had a balcony that had an amazing view of the city especially at night. I had set the table on the balcony to look similar to a restaurant and had strung up fairy lights around the balcony. The thought of lots of people, the possibility of people recognizing us and going on a date with Christen meant my anxiety was through the roof. I couldn't calm my nerves enough to take her to a proper restaurant so I was trying my best to make it romantic.

Christen looked slightly shocked when we walked in and she saw the balcony. I found myself nervous that she wouldn't like it or would have preferred a proper restaurant.

"So, I know this was probably not what you were thinking, but as you know I get nervous around lots of people and since I already get so nervous around you, I didn't want that to get in the way of having a good night. I hope this is okay."

"This is perfect Y/n. Did you do this? Who's apartment is this?"

"I did. I wanted it to be nice for you. It's a friend of mine, she's out of town for a couple of days. Can I get you a glass of wine?"

"It's beautiful. I would love one, thank you."

After getting the wine for Christen and beer for myself, we sat down at the table while I waited for dinner to cook. I had spent the last few hours setting up and preparing dinner. Cooking and baking was something I loved to do and I wanted to spoil Christen so I had made lasagna with homemade pasta and pasta sauce, homemade garlic bread sticks and salad. I also made dark chocolate and raspberry truffles. We had an off day tomorrow, so a cheat night wouldn't hurt.

We made small talk for a while, well Christen did most of the talking until I felt myself start to relax a little bit and could actually talk without being a stuttering mess. During dinner we mostly ate in silence, but it was comfortable.

"That was amazing, thank you," Christen said after we finished dessert and took our plates to the sink.

"You're welcome Chris. I'm glad you enjoyed it."

After a few minutes of enjoying the view, Christen spoke up, "So, you get nervous around me?"

"Incredibly nervous, that's part of the reason I get so quiet around you."

She smiled softly, "Why do I make you nervous?"

"Well, you are beautiful, ambitious, smart, considerate, passionate, funny, and you're kind of intimidating."

"Intimidating?"

"N-not in a bad way, I just have a big crush on you." I cleared my throat, before standing up, suddenly feeling nervous and slightly awkward about how much I had revealed to her, "Do you want more wine?"

Christen grabbed my hand before I could get far, "Hey, don't get all quiet and shy on me. I have a big crush on you too so we're even. You kind of make me nervous as well."

Reluctantly, I sat back down across from her, she didn't let go of my hand, "Really? Don't take this the wrong way, but I kind of find that hard to believe. I mean, I'm just me."

"You are you. You are an amazing person Y/n. I admit it was your quietness that made me most nervous. I could never get a read on what you were thinking or feeling, um for me specifically. At first I just thought you didn't like, well any of us, then you opened up more and I got some mixed messages about how you felt about me. Sometimes, you would be really talkative, other times, more so around me you just didn't say anything. Then, I thought you would flirt with me, but I also thought it could be all in my head. I now understand why you're sometimes talkative then not other times. Even understanding why still made me nervous though because I didn't know how you felt."

"I'm sorry, I know I can be confusing sometimes. You're right though, I was always more quiet or had more non-verbal episodes when you were around because of how nervous you made me, but you also sometimes made me feel more comfortable. Having you around in situations where there were lots of people or media days, made me more relaxed. And yes there were times when I would feel confident and flirt with you."

Christen smiled, lacing our fingers together, "Is it bad to say I'm grateful for Kelley and her bets for once?"

"No, because I agree. I honestly don't know if I would have asked you anytime soon if not for the bet."

Our fingers remained laced together as we enjoyed the view and talked about anything we could think of. This had to be the first time I had felt this relaxed around Christen. It was probably because she now knew how I felt and felt the same way. Knowing that had calmed my nerves enough to realise how calming Christen actually was to be around. Yes, she was a comfort in some situations, but I had never been able to relax around her much. I was still a bit nervous if she would want to go on another date with me, but I was trying my best to push it away and just enjoy the moment.

Christen kissed the back of my hand. Goosebumps made their way up my arm at the feeling as I stuttered over what I was saying, Christen tried and failed to hide her giggle while I couldn't help think about what it would be like to kiss her, "Thank you Y/n, I think this is the best date I've ever been on. I don't want it to end."

My heart felt like it skipped a beat. All I wanted to do was give Christen a good night, to make her feel special. It was a relief to hear that she had enjoyed it, "It doesn't have to."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, my friend did say we were free to stay here the night. She definitely meant it in a different way, but she has a comfy couch, big TV, multiple streaming sites and popcorn. We have an off day tomorrow."

"Movie night?"

"Movie night. You pick the movie and I'll get popcorn. There's a box of my clothes in that room over there if you want to change."

An expression, I could have sworn was jealousy passed over Christen, but was quickly covered up, "Why is there a box of your clothes?"

"I stored some of my stuff here when I moved and I've just never taken that box back." I quickly got changed into some sweatpants and a hoodie before putting the popcorn on.

When I got back, Christen had changed, picked some rom-com and was cuddled under the blanket in the middle of the couch.  I chose to sit near the arm of the couch with my legs tucked up, leaving space between us so I didn't cross any lines. About 20 minutes had passed when Christen moved to sit cross-legged, she ended up closer with our knees touching. I still had my legs tucked up so I shifted slightly and put my arm up on the back of the couch as a way of inviting her to cuddle if she wanted to. A few seconds passed before Christen moved so she was cuddled up against my side.

The couch was wide enough that two people could lie down, cuddled up with each other pretty comfortably so I moved us to lying down. I was lying down flat while Christen was lying on her side with her head on my shoulder and an arm over my stomach. There was room for her to move back a bit if she wanted to, but she didn't which made my heart speed up. It was comfortable and safe, like we were made to fit together.

We stayed like that until the movie finished and Christen looked up at me. She was so close that if I moved a few inches I could kiss her. I decided to just push away my nerves and asked to kiss her before I could back out. Christen simply nodded. My hand was shaking slightly as I cupped her cheek and connected our lips in a soft kiss. Her hand covered mine, making me relax fully. The kiss was soft and sweet, it was like nothing I had experienced before. As cliché as it sounds, I felt sparks and goosebumps, but most importantly, I felt peace, comfort and safety. All my anxiety melted away and I never wanted to let her go, never wanted to stop kissing her. After a few seconds, a smile broke out on Christens face, making us pull apart. I couldn't help the grin that grew on mine.

That night I fell asleep on the couch with Christen cuddled up against me and a smile on my face. It was the first night in a long time I had fallen asleep then stayed asleep with no issues.