#i haven't even been able to write because i cannot sit still and focus

[fiyaerrigan]

re: BuckTommy 8x06 and the Interviews

First point: I hesitate to say Oliver's response was biphobic

We don't know the man??? He could literally be bisexual (and guess what, it would be none of our damn business!) But within the context of "he has said he wanted change for his character and what he says in this recent interview directly contradicts that" I do have my gripes.

Second point: To me, the execution of this sucked.

Normally (as a resident Messy Bitch who likes seeing shit in her Complicated Fucked Up Life reflected in media) I live for drama and I live for narratives taking me wherever the wind takes them! but there was something so BLUNT and RAW about this that i cannot feel settled or satisfied with it (esp taking into account that, as noted before, this is a direct contradiction of what people IN the show have said they wanted for Buck) because it was SUCH a tonal shift from where they left off the previous episode.

I try to be gracious and remind myself that network TV has to deal with sudden changes that affect the way they go forward with planned storylines, but this was kinda ass, right down to the wire.

Assuming that it WASN'T a sudden change and that this *was* how they wanted everything to wrap up, I feel like it really could have been written with more consideration. It's one thing to pick up from where s7 left off and have their relationship in s8 be something along the lines of “we keep trying but it isnt working out” and then culminate in a breakup, but it's another entirely to break them up and...

Have Tommy's character interactions *still* be intertwined with Eddie (when it would have been more of a soft exit thing to treat Eddie's friendship in the same "implied presence" way they do with Hen and Chim rather than giving them scenes where Tommy and Eddie interact directly) as recently as the previous episode. Like at that point you've established an additional relationship for the guest character to have with the main cast, and given that relationship more recent screentime than any of his previous friendships, which THEN makes his departure have multiple fallouts to address

Have Buck be on the verge of a momentous confession when said breakup happens, because GOD that just hurts

From a writing perspective, you're leaving loose ends that are (imo) not going to really lead viewers to sit well with the story going forward?

On a personal level, even if (by some miracle) we still end up with Buck in a queer relationship despite the looming storm for LGBT media in the US, I'm probably not gonna be able to look at whatever relationship happens after this without feeling some sort of sting. I'm all for writers planning out stuff to happen in advance, but they could have spelled out the end for Buck and Tommy in SO MANY ways that would have been less bitter.

Like, fuck. Even if it WAS a sudden change, there are ways that this COULD have worked decently even *with* a single episode to wrap up the BT relationship.

You could have Put Tommy On A Bus for [insert serious reason that Buck can't argue with] here and that (at the very least) would soften the blow bc at least the loose ends are explained by "oh, *no one* who's close with this character is able to interact with them" and that would have hurt slightly less?

You could have killed Tommy off and that would have been INFINITELY better than this IMO because at least sudden death seems more realistic an ending (as far as the weewooverse is concerned) compared to "these two characters break up but somehow we're supposed to forget that he's also friends w his ex's bff and there are Ramifications (tm)."

Hell, I'm not big on Buddie but it could have brought Eddie and Buck closer via grief bonding, if that's what the writers wanted? idefk.

Overall, this Sucks.

I'm gonna try to stop looking at my weewoo tags for the time being and focus on stuff that brings me joy (like content from old fandoms where I Haven't Been Hurt Yet lol) and spend some time away from the show for a bit.

Honestly, for me, s8's main sticking points were the BT relationship and whatever the fuck those two had going on with Eddie. My personal sticking points for the entire series (found family vs. blood family juxtaposition, breaking the cycle, and group hijinks) don't seem to be the focus in s8 thus far so I'm not too keen on watching the show as intensely as I have been, going forward. Hit me up if they bring Chris back or if the 8x06 interviews are smoke and mirrors (though I don't think they are) but otherwise I'm gonna go back to weewoo-ing through dashboard osmosis.

I still have BT and weewoo plotbunnies in my drafts, and I don't see myself abandoning those completely! I think, after some time, I see myself coming back to that creative space, even if I'm not following canon super closely. Of course, my ass never finishes anything, so whether I finish and post those WIPS is another thing entirely.

Peace out, friends?

[dollywheeler]

September 25th, 1996

Dear diary,

Things have been crazy busy as we've been training a lot to prepare for homecoming. Not only have we upped our cheer hours in preparation for the halftime show, but I've also been helping Whitney out with preparations for the dance on Saturday - mostly with crafting decorations. I'm probably the worst person she could have asked, because crafts are so not my thing. Pretty sure my lanterns would have been trashed if it hadn't been for Elena's help - she's one of the new Sophomores on the team this year.

The dance is setting up to look great, however, and I've been practicing the homecoming routine as much as possible before school. Sandy and Selena altered one of our routines from last year for this weekend. It's very flashy because we can be more creative with it, and not too difficult because people don't really care about technique or tumbling all that much. They just want a catchy song and a good show - which it definitely is in my opinion.

It also means I've been able to practice it better because there aren't too many parts I have to skip when practicing in the basement.

Because I've been getting home late each day, I've barely seen mom or dad. I can tell mom is still on cloud nine from last Friday though, as she's jumped into 'fall cleaning' with vigor. It's always a little terrifying when she comes around with a moving box and a 'donate first, regret later' attitude. I figured out years ago that the best strategy is to just get a few things to donate set aside beforehand so she'll leave your actual stuff alone. This year I just picked up some clutter from the dollar store and a teddy bear we got for free at the fair last spring. And Whitney was planning on throwing some stuff away so she gave it to me for this very reason. It wasn't much, but she hadn't given me much warning. She seemed more than happy with it though, so I guess I have Mike to thank for that.

I don't know if she told dad about the dinner next Friday. I sure as hell haven't. It feels weird keeping something from him, but I can hardly tell him we're going to dinner but he's not invited. I'm pretty sure he isn't, anyway. I know they've always had a weird relationship, but he's still his dad right? And like, it's not like he ever gave him a chance. Besides, even if your parents are cringe or annoying you can still sit through dinner with them for one night and bite your tongue! It's not that hard and just for one night!

For now I'm just going to focus on this weekend, though. I'm so excited for the dance - my dress is gorgeous and I can't wait to wear it. I'm nervous though; I've never had a date before.

OH, I haven't even gotten a chance to write that down yet!

Daniel asked me to the dance!!!!

I was waiting for the gym to clear out after basketball practice on Monday so we could get our extra hours in, and when the team was dismissed, Daniel gently grabbed my hand and pulled me behind the bleachers. Not behind-behind the bleachers, just hidden from view a bit so we could talk privately. My heart was pounding but he seemed relaxed as he asked me if I wanted to go to the dance with him. He just had that same dorky expression, clearly hesitant for my response even though he had to know what my answer would be. He looked so relieved when I said yes even when he hadn't looked all that nervous to begin with, so I know he'd just tried to be stoic.

Anyway, it was really, really sweet <3 He's taking me to dinner before the dance, so we can have a proper date with just the two of us but can also enjoy the dance with our friends. I'm so excited; I seriously cannot wait.

Love, Holly <3

[magratpudifoot]

Finished 6 October 2024:

The Two Gentleman of Verona - William Shakespeare

My new-to-me Shakespeare reading process is pretty involved*, so I haven't been able to do it properly in the last five years of moving and having all my books in storage. But I mostly have my books back and have set a goal for myself to read all the plays I haven't before by April 2026, so we're starting at the beginning of my Shakespeare TBR list.

I did actually read this play in my undergrad class, but that was at least 15 years ago, and the class was awful. I honestly think if it had been the same professor with the three of us who paid attention and maybe a couple of grad students, it would have been really good, but it was a 3 hr Monday night class, and EVERY SINGLE SESSION he would have to explain what having horns on one's head meant. One time I took pity on him and raised my hand to say, "I think it's interesting that all of Feste's songs are really morbid." And he latched onto it in a way that I wasn't quite expecting: "YES! Tell me more!!" Alas, this was YEARS before I actually took this on as a personal research interest, so I was not at all expecting to suddenly be the focus of the class--this was the first time the whole semester anyone actually volunteered an opinion--so I let the poor guy down with "I don't know...I just thought it was interesting..."

Anyway, yes, I know I read this in that class because my copy of the text had annotations in my handwriting, in the type of ink I used to prefer before it became impossible to find**. But I had ZERO memory of any part of the play, except a vague sense that I must have been really excited to Know Something about the story from dramatis personae because I read a lot of Greek mythology as a kid. (I was actually in another class that same semester where we would have been reading Ovid's Metamorphosis right around the same time, but I think it was probably the Hercules Animated Series that taught me what to expect from Proteus. Or Young Hercules. It may have been Young Hercules.)

So, sure, I read this play before, allegedly, but I am treating it as one I hadn't read. And if you know anything about Shakespeare's body of work, it's probably no surprise that my main takeaway this time was "Okay, yeah, I get why no one has even really tried to bring this one back." I think there were good ideas, interesting impulses, and I spent a lot of time thinking about The Importance of Being Earnest, but I'm not sure that there is any satisfactory way to stage the final act, or any way to stage it without the final act and still call it the same play.

It should surprise no one that Speed and Silvia are my favorites. It is perhaps shocking that Posthumus is still my most hated Shakespearean male love interest when Proteus and Valentine are both right there. If I were to write fix it fic, I'm not sure if I would have Julia stay in Verona with Lucetta (who she instructed to make her clothes that she thinks she would look best in, don't think I didn't read too much into THAT), or have her and Silvia return to Milan together and leave everyone else in the forrest.

* I read from the Norton Shakespeare while listening to Arkangel recordings, and then follow up with the entries in Asimov's Guide to Shakespeare and Harold Bloom's Shakespeare and the Invention of the Human--not because I particularly trust either of them as Shakespeare scholars, but because I find arguing with others about what does and does not work for me in classic literature helps me process, and there's no one better for arguing with than Bloom. Of COURSE he likes Launce. OF COURSE. I hope Will Kempe does a little jig every time Bloom sits down to write. I used to also supplement my Shakespeare reads with Dr. Johnson's notes, but I cannot find my copy now and am not sure it wasn't a casualty of Moldpocalypse. I am going to go out to the storage closet again one of these days and see again if I can find it, because that historical midpoint commentary is excellent to have.

** The shitty blue Bic pens with the "comfort grips" and the hollow plastic tubes and the ink that kind of smelled like you should ventilate the room probably.

[marewriteblr]

why does my body know i'm anxious before i do and why is it doing this i feel fine i don't have to be nervous ughhh

[crowbird]

I've been wanting to talk about this for a while, but I always get frustrated when I see the argument "just let people enjoy stuff" in relation to critique towards the loki show. Because here's the thing, for all intensive purposes I enjoyed watching it. I liked being able to sit down, once a week with my family and watch an episode, I liked being able to see the aesthetic of the tva and the void, I liked to see Tom Hiddleston act.

I enjoyed watching the show the first time I watched it because I didn't really bother to think or analyze it much. I was still preoccupied with a different hyperfixation and it wasn't really my focus. But I had set aside an entire weekend to rewatch the full show in retrospect. I watched thor (2011), avengers (2012) and immediately after the loki show because I wanted to be able to properly talk about it and properly watch it and take it all in.

I suppose you could say that was my mistake.

Because when I watch shows I have two ways of doing so, I'll watch it once so intensely that I cannot do anything else at the same time (examples: castlevania, the owl house, queen's gambit, jujutsu kaisen, young justice season 1). Or I'll watch it once through while doing other things because I might be autistic but also adhd do be like that sometimes. But whether or not I'm fully engaged with it is another thing, I wasn't fully engaged with the show the first time I watched it.

It was background noise to me, mostly because I have spent literal years of my life avoiding getting attached to the character of Loki (I mean literal years, I didn't watch thor when it first came out, but I was going on something like, six or so years of avoidance when I finally caved) because I knew I would be very emotionally attached. In other words, as a nine-year-old kid I was able to take one look at his character and be like, I see myself in him, that's a first. Because I didn't have characters or people in my life I could relate to like that.

So because the rejection sensitivity dysphoria is strong in this one, i avoided it.

Honestly the only reason I decided to properly engage with show is because I posted a meme I made on my pervious url that got a surprising amount of notes.

This was the joke for context:

I know I'm hilarious.

Anyways what I'm saying, through all of my rambling nonsense is that actually, I can enjoy a show, and still take issue with the writing. I am allowed to like something for the sake of entertainment and then rip it to shreds.

Like, I don't watch Riverdale or Titans because I like the writing. I watch it because it's entertaining, or at least I used to, I haven't touched either of those shows past season one and even that was a hot second ago to be honest.

But I found the Loki show as a show to be very enjoyable. The problem isn't that it's not enjoyable, or that it's lacking in the potential to be so, the problem is within the writing of the show itself. The problem with the loki show is that it isn't about loki, that the writing is inconsistent and insulting, that it's infantilizing and invalidating.

I can say I think the Loki show has terrible writing and still enjoy watching episode two on occasion. I can say I found the show entertaining and I enjoyed watching it, but if someone where to ask me for recommendations for Loki content I wouldn't give them the show.

It's not about whether or not the show is enjoyable, it's about the character, and in a show where a poorly written mashup of several comic characters that reminds me way to much of my own shitty mha-self-insert from seventh grade looks the title character in the eye, and tells them that the crux of the plot of the entire show isn't about them? Yeah, that scene is entertaining, but it's bad writing, because fun fact, those two things can co-exist actually.

[stardancereivor]

The house was empty save for the pitter patter of Fat Son exploring, Eivør sitting beside Salma's bed, and the older Viera sitting in bed with her eyes closed and her breath shallow. Eivør had returned for a week thus far, and she had spent every waking moment tending to her mother. The first few days had been the worst of it. Seeing her mother, reconciling with the fact that she might not be able to help her in spite of what the Green Word was telling her, and then determining that she would do everything within her strength to do so. She had learned so much since leaving Viras, after all. If anyone could do it, it was Eivør. The first task had been to figure out what was even happening, how it had started, and how long it had been. Speaking with the visiting healer and Salma's friends had been helpful, as they explained something she was unsurprised they were having difficulties dealing with. Salma had been on a simple herb gathering venture with her group, something they had done hundreds of times before. Everything was going as it always did, and they had had few disturbances. Nothing major, nothing to write home about. It all changed when they stumbled upon a group of outsiders. It was standard at first; warnings, weapons drawn but not readied for battle, just trying to scare them off before a Wood Warder came across them. None of it had worked. These strangers had a magic they were not familiar with, and they were not afraid of the Viera women. They had managed to disable three of the four intruders, but the fourth one got a shot off on Salma that made her collapse into a seizure and fall into unconsciousness. If only the spear that went through that intruder's head a moment later from a Wood Warder in the trees had been there seconds earlier. This had been a week ago. They had returned Salma quickly to her home and to her bed, where had been ever since.

At the very least it meant that Eivør's lack of presence was not at fault here. This likely would have happened even if she had not left, but because she left it meant she could fix it. She had learned much from her Hyur companions in the infirmary. Figuring out what was wrong with Salma had been quick and easy for Eivør, but treating would take some time. Salma had too much aether in her, mostly of the wrong kind. It was.. unfortunately familiar. It would likely scar her if Eivør took too long. She would be quick, but she had to be careful, so she didn't do more harm than good. The first thing she had to do was get her conscious. "Mother?" She spoke quietly, reaching a hand across to gently set it upon the other Viera's. It stirred her from her sleep, and dark eyes fluttered open as she lifted her head and turned to look to her daughter. Eivør offered her a warm smile, squeezed her hand, and released it to reach over and pick up a bowl and spoon. "How are you feeling?"

Salma sighed quietly, closed her eyes a moment, and then opened them again. "Better now that you are here, my little star. I am sorry to bring you home.. but I am glad to see you.."

Eivør chuckled, scooping up stew and reaching across to offer it to the Salma. "It is fine. Though I cannot promise I will be here forever, I will not be leaving until you are well. It is good to be home. I was... homesick."

"Homesick?" Salma's eyes widened somewhat. "Did something happen?" A pause, and then she finally raised a hand. "I think I am capable of feeding myself, my love--"

"Please, mother. You need to rest. I can do this. And then I will begin treating you."

Salma loosed a sigh, nodded, and finally accepted the offered stew. She was quiet for several moments, then tilted her head to one side. "How do you know how to help me?"

Scooping more stew, Eivør hesitated a moment. "... Because I suffered in ways similar to yourself, and I learned how to treat it from an associate. I will help you, and you will be good as new. But first? We finish this bowl."

"Who is the mother here?" Salma asked with a croak of a laugh, and then she cut off suddenly. "I--oh, love, I am sorry, I--"

"It's fine." Eivør managed a smile.

"You could try again while you are here..?"

"... I could. I doubt anything will come of it. But I will try."

"Wonderful! Who knows. Perhaps this is the one?" Eivør chuckled and shrugged, then offered another spoonful of stew.

"Let's get you fed, hm?"

Salma at least had a healthy appetite. It didn't take long to feed her, and it certainly would take less time to feed her than it would to treat her. It was going to take days to carefully rebalance her aether, and especially to do so without risk of berserking either herself or the bedridden Viera. At the very least it gave her the opportunity to show off her magics. The room would be filled with starlight, with the constellations of Eorzea. It distracted Salma from what Eivør was doing, keeping her calm and content while the younger Viera did her work. It also seemed to lift her spirits to see how Eivør had developed in her absence. She would never admit it, but she had been afraid when Eivør had left. Afraid of what might happen to her. But she should have known that young woman who left all those years ago was not one to be easily removed from this world, she who had been through so much before even seeing her first full century. The floating blades with their orbiting moons and stars were fascinating, as well. She had never seen anything like it. It would seem that leaving had been.. perhaps the right thing for Eivør now that Salma saw some of what she was now capable of. Eivør had been purposeless before; she had her duties, her hunting, her worship, but beyond that she was rather spoiled and usually only did things for herself, her needs, her amusement. It was nice to see her doing something for someone else. She seemed to have matured since last they were together. Good... good. "... Eivør?" Salma eventually asked, her quiet voice filling an otherwise quiet air.

"Yes, mother?" Eivør responded distractedly, the majority of her focus on her magic. She had to be sure she did not overload Salma.

"Now that you have returned.. will you be..." Salma pursed her lips a moment, shook her head, and then looked to Eivør. "Will you be staying? Or will you go again once I am well?"

Eivør did not immediately answer. However, her tall ears began to slowly lower until they were flattened against her hair. Truth be told, Eivør wasn't sure. She still had obligations, right? People who still depended on her. Or would they still depend on someone who left so abruptly with no notice? Perhaps if she told them now that she was sure.. but what would she tell them? Would she stay? Could she stay? Could she go back to this life? It had indeed been something she had thought about, but a part of her had hoped something or someone else would make the decision for her.

Salma frowned and turned her gaze away. "I see. It's fine, just forget I--"

"Wh--no. No.. just..." Sighing, Eivør finally brought her hands away, and the shimmer and shine of twinkling star-like aether began to dim and dissipate. "I do not know. I.. it is something I thought about even on my journey here. Mother, I have been through so much. Some of it bad, but most of it amazing. And I... there are.. were? Are? People who still need me. Depend on me. And I'm no longer the same Eivør I was when I left the wood. I wish I had an answer for you, but even I'm not sure yet. I mean, I'm definitely staying to make sure you are well, but after that? I haven't figured it out."

"I think the fact that you are unsure if you will stay is reason enough not to.." Salma offered gently, lifting her hands to hold Eivør's. "But at least stay a little while, hm? You may relax here. We will not even ask you to perform any kind of strenuous duties. Just.. visit for a time. There are many outside of myself who missed you. I am sure they would be happy to see you again."

Her heart throbbed at the thought. Eivør had broken so many hearts when she left. There was one in particular she remembered, the one who had been her partner at the time. The one who she had hurt the most, probably. She managed a weak smile, but she gave Salma's hands a squeeze nonetheless. "You may be right. I'll.. visit. Even after you're well. It would be nice to spend time with you when you are not sick."

She would stay for the moment. Just a little while, right? It couldn't hurt. Maybe just a few weeks...

[nemo-of-house-hamartia]

ok, I finally found the time to properly sit down and reply to this. I wanted to give it my full attention, so I apologize for the delay.

OMGOMGOMGOMG A CHRISTMAS FIC. I personally adore Christmas and everything connected to the Winter festivities, SO BRING IT ON. BRING THEM ALL ON. (AND SELF-INDULGENCE IS PERFECTION. IT'S THE WAY. FOR EVERYTHING FANDOM RELATED :D)

I personally am a bit in a stagnant situation due to having to work a lot, so I am mentally drained and all the energies I have is for drawing. BUT. I do have a few artworks in the making for Genshin (tho they involve ocs as well, just a heads up), and I cannot wait to share them as well!

OMGOMGOMG.

yes. YES.

Mondstadt is HOME. Like, no matter where I am, I always spend a good part of my playing sessions roaming around Mondstadt because I just have such sense of peace: all those green hills and glens, the forests and the rivers and the lake….it's everything. Plus, the soundtrack that plays in the City is beautiful, changing throughout the day while maintaining the main theme. I just adore it all. It's home. Honestly, my biggest pet peeve is that we don't have all the characters roaming around normally, because if I were to see Kaeya or Diluc going about their day I would be like YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS.

Or even Venti sitting on the hands of his statue and enjoying the view, and depending on the time of the day, he is somewhere else entirely.

I think it would be so lovely! It was one of the things that I actually loved about this last Lantern Rite: after being done with the event, I was still able to see all the characters from Liyue hanging around and interact with them.

As for Sumeru, I have to say that I am yet to play the Archon Quest for it and while I did a bit of scouting around, I haven't truly explored as much as I wanted!!

(I am a little slow with the main story quests, I like to drag them out as long as possible to just enjoy this game throughout time and keep playing :D)

GODS, ZHONGLI AND THAT FREAKING OSMANTHUS WINE. Honestly, my husband listened to saying this I don't know how many times, and when I told him more about the lore behind him, he just answered me "maybe he repeats that so many times because he is old and a bit senile"! 😅but in all seriousness, it's kinda makes me sad because he has been alive for so long, and all he has left are memories, and that's truly heartbreaking.

OMG I LOVE YOUR ROSTER!! I had Yanfei in my ranks until I pulled Diluc, but I still use her a lot, especially when I know Venti won't be effective (so I have Pyro Resonance with Diluc), and I just love her so so so so much.

OMG 83 WISHES????? WISHING YOU ALL THE BEST OF LUCK FOR EULA TO COME HOME!!!

MANIFESTING EULA FOR YOU!

And yes, I will try to pull for Hu Tao in this upcoming banner (I just adore her, she reminds me of myself sometimes lolol).

GUIZHONG AND PING THIS YEAR JUST KILLED ME, BECAUSE OH DEAR GODS, SO MUCH SADNESS. Like seriously, all these characters have gone through so much, and all I want is to just wrap them all up in a huge cocoon blanket and keep them safe and sound.

I personally feel extremely linked to characters from Mondstadt and Liyue the most, so their lore is the one that I focus the most on and the one that totally destroyed my heart.

Weinlesefest was adorable, but I was so sad for Razor. He is another one of my main, before I switch with Zhongli (I have used it for the better part of the last year and half), so I was happy that we got to know more about him! but it was so incredibly sad that I was relieved that he had the Traveler, Bennett and Klee and Diona there for him!

and I totally understand you. TOTALLY UNDERSTAND YOU.

I have been rewatching the cutscenes of all the events I missed because I started to play to late, and the ideas are just running rampant, tbh. But as you said, SO MANY IDEAS, SO MANY THAT WON'T BE WRITTEN (but please, do write yours because omg I need to read)!!

Morning morning!!

Coming in to bring something good to drinm and munch on!

Also, i saw that you are into Genshin???😁😁 me too!!! I just adore that game!!! 🤩Who is your favourite character, if you don't mind me asking??😁😁

Ohhhh thank you! Please have a piece of apple pie in return! Made it myself last night :D

Genshin is such a good game! I love the music, I love the exploring, I love the lore, I love te soundtrack! (And writing silly little fics about it all :D)

Favorite character is a hard question, hmmmm... aaaa there's so many good characters but I think Kaeya and Albedo :D I just love the way Kaeya talks and all the backstory that goes with his past. And if the leaks can be believed there will be even more about him in 3.5! And ngl, the hair and the fur scarf are just *happy sigh* And Albedo? Just look at him, so cute! And the voice? Damn, Khoi is talented. And his relationship with Klee and Alice. I have alchemy fam feels aaaaaaaaaaa :') oh, oh! I noticed last night that when Albedo walks, his clothes do this little metal clinking sound and I really like it!

I always get so happy talking about Genshin :D what about you? What's your favorite character? Any favorite events? :D