#i know both basic levels
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#been practicing french on duo app for 232 days#will switching to spanish totally confuse me#ive done spanish w duo before#i know both basic levels#lol#im like hmmmm tho will i confuse myself hahaha
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I see you refer to Kris and Noelle as besties a lot. I haven't played the weird routes yet and I certainly don't know the normal route dialogue like the back of my hand, but I thought that Noelle and Kris were estranged family friends, not super close anymore, before the events of chapter 1. That view is specifically because of Noelle's private blog post about Kris from Spamton Sweepstakes (https://deltarune.com/kris_dreemurr_kris/). Noelle wrote, "Even then, with my eyes open, there were times when I wasn't even sure if we were friends." What do you think about this blog post?
well ok first of all when I called kris and noelle 'best friends' in my noelle post which im assuming is what this is about it was after about 3 paragraphs about how significantly they had drifted apart after dess's disappearance. I'd certainly not call them besties as things currently stand, but i think that BEFORE dess's disappearance and the player's takeover of kris they were at minimum the most consistent friend in each other's lives. the real point of that post was that i think they were probably significantly closer than noelle leads the player to believe based on her dialog alone, and that she is an unreliable narrator when it comes to she and kris's relationship. If I listed out every piece of evidence I can think of off the top of my head that she and kris were close this post would get insanely long, but literally just walking around her room in chapter 4 will paint you a pretty clear picture. she had a cactus named after them. and when she mentions that berdly renamed it kris gets pissed off about it in the flavor text afterwards.
as for that blog post, I kind of think taking that one line out of context does a disservice to the picture that is actually being painted here, because honestly I'd argue that the full text supports my point even more. full text of the post for context:
It's funny... there was a time when they were coming over almost every day. We'd play, and we'd play... then after a while, they would suddenly get very still, like they were remembering something. They'd go into the dining room to "get a snack," then after a few moments, I'd hear the piano. The first few times, I went into watch them play, but when they realized I was looking, they'd always shut the piano and come back. So over time, I just started staying on the couch in the living room. I'd lie there, listening to them play, sometimes for hours, sometimes even until I fell asleep. Even then, what were they thinking about me? Maybe they weren't thinking about me at all. They didn't have a piano at their house, so they probably just came over to use mine. Even then, with my eyes open, there were times when I wasn't even sure if we were friends. But when I closed my eyes, it felt like a concert just for me.
Yes, there's a level of removal going on here. Noelle doesn't quite understand kris's motivations and is struggling to contextualize their actions because of this. But I think it's important to remember that this blog post is recounting the memories of a young child, and written from the perspective of a teenager, so it would probably be a miracle if nothing got lost in translation. This is Noelle reflecting on a relationship which has very clearly changed drastically in recent years, and if there's one thing we know about noelle it's that she's avoidant as shit. It's nowhere near above her to recontextualize memories in her own head in order to make her previous relationship to kris feel less personal, so she won't have to feel as sad about losing a close friend. We literally watch her do this in real time in snowgrave--painting over and/or blocking out memories that scare and upset her in order to avoid reckoning with those feelings. I think she likely finds this easier to do with kris because kris seems to have been pretty introverted and kind of. weird in the ways they expressed affection towards her as a child (particularly the pranks she so often mentions) which makes it easier for her to spin their relationship as something obligational rather than true closeness. But because Kris was such a big part of her life for so long, her altered memories are still imperfect. In the same post where she says kris probably wasn't thinking about her at all she also mentions that kris was at her house every day and that she felt an intense personal connection to their music. And for what it's worth, there are at least two other pianos in town that kris easily could have used if all they wanted was to practice--one in the church's choir room and one in the hospital. They weren't at the holiday house purely to use that piano. more likely than not they really were playing for her.
#like. i really think it's important to pay REALLY close attention to EVERYTHING pertaining to noelle and kris's past relationship#if you want to really understand either of them as characters. because they're both so repressed that we basically have to rely on#noelle's VERY VERY VERY UNRELIABLE accounts of their past and the 0.2% of kris's actions that are autonomous#in order to figure them out. but when you DO pay attention it becomes almost impossible to miss#kris is genuinely a pretty introverted character i think. before susie noelle was the only kid their age in town who they were friendly wit#the only other characters who really seem to know ANYTHING about them are explicitly asriel's old friends#and all of those npc really only talk about asriel or have like. surface-level conversations with kris#and honestly a lot of them seem kind of surprised that kris is willingly talking to them at all.#which is why noelle's obvious familiarity with them is so significant. she's the only person in town who REALLY knows kris.#i think part of the disconnect here is partially that a lot of this closeness is only implied in missable dialog or flavor text#like. noelle is the only person including kris's OWN PARENTS who noticed something off when they started being controlled by the soul#but you only find that out by either playing the weird route or letting kris bat you around with a hockey stick for long enough#that you get one specific line while she's talking to susie in dess's room.#anyway. tldr yeah i do think they were besties actually. i stand by that#asks#deltarune spoilers
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caps from comic Im doing
#not art yet. sorta#yeah that's one piece#outing myself this year as a sanji enjoyer#idk what compelled me to come back here (that's a lie I know 100% and it's haterism) but I did finally sit down and put down#this idea I've sat on for a Long time. bc I think I just. finally feel ready for it#or rather. both it and myself have been worn down and moulded enough by just. time passing. to be able to sit with each other in peace#but yeah I'm now neck deep in this (almost halfway thru inking!!) and Im learning a Lot#whatever u say abt one piece oda is a Phenomenal comic artist. one piece art-wise is dense on a level that makes me feel insane#like you barely see more than one type of screentone used and it's mostly to separate planes. its Just Ink. its fucked up#and drawing this comic is forcing me to show up on my a-game on a craft level as well. I love so much a Large part of it so far#comic is good guys. did u guys know that has anyone said this before#but yeah this one will! probably get posted to my main blog when the posting version is done. which is why I said in the prev ask#that the spheres might intersect soon lol#Im aware this is a stupid way to go about it if u look at it from a marketing/advertising angle. but thats not what Im here for#Im showing u cool bugs I made basically. and when the exhibit happens its gonna have mostly nothing to do with this#but yeah. if u see a comic with these caps in it in the future u will Know#otherwise we keep up kayfabe yeah? for fun. for comfort
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The funniest part about George's meltdown today is that it was wholly unnecessary.
All he had to do was come out today and go, "I said my side of the story in the stewards and obviously Max didn't take kindly to that but what's done is done and we'll move on."
But instead he tried to go scorched earth and it made him look so much worse.
#genuinely his hysterics today were on another level#he's basically trying to call Max a danger to the sport#and character assassinate him#which is rumored to be exactly what max took exception to at the stewards#so I guess for everyone who wanted to know what happened in the stewards#probably this#but worse because there weren't cameras#it's just a weird victim play by george#and i'm so confused by the desperation of both the pole and merc attacking Max#there's literally no fight between them#i just don't get it#maybe george just got too big for his britches after beating lewis#but c'mon my dude#ik I'm a Max fan so everyone will think I'm just incredibly biased#but misquoting exaggerating and making egregious accusations is a bad and very damgerous look#i mean to bring 2021 into it and imply Max would have gone after Masi is fucked up#especially since people did go after Masi and it was LH fans with death threats against him and his family#weird thing to casually forget there george#f1#max verstappen#george russell
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walking through lucanis' mind prison. the tam lin of it all
#his mind keeps changing forms and you just have to show him you won't let go of him#it doesn't even really matter what you say to him just that you're consistently there to say it. your voice is a comfort. im in pain#I'm having so many feelings about like... rook can't be here. because of all things in the world rook means 'safe'. what if I exploded#what if I just shattered into a thousand pieces and was swept away by the wind actually#'it's better that I stay here than risk losing you' is such pitch perfect trauma logic. freeze logic specifically#on some level he seems to think he keeps rook safe like. existentially. by staying here#it's heartbreaking child magical thinking that makes me wonder like. has he basically been in a place like this inside#ever since his parents died? before that? the ossuary is just new set dressing the underlying logic is OLD. and very very sad to me#'I keep everyone safe by staying here'#(and then the perfect hilarity of having an actual demon be like 'ROOK. YOU TALK TO HIM HE NEVER LISTENS TO ME'#tfw your inner demon gets worried enough to stage an intervention and get you therapy whether you want it or not lmao)#dragon age#dragon age spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age: the veilguard#rook x lucanis#lucanis dellamorte#rookanis#rye staying mostly in gentle professional mode for this one b/c this is literally his training#('I may not be batting a hundred at being a person but I DO know how to deal with fade shenanigans! not to worry I've got you')#except in that last part with the illario mind ghost where he roundaboutly admits 'I need you I don't know how to do this without you'#in rye speak that is very big it's like. third base of his soul or something. we do not ask for things for ourselves in this house#(because we already know we will not receive anyway so that sounds both humiliating and ultimately pointless. no thank you!)#and yet. the things we'll admit for love#the feeling that some of the things varric did for rye immediately post-exile rye is paying forward with lucanis now. don't look at me
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In the personal bias section of your essay. You said you see the dude™ issue reflected in Siffrin. Can you say more about your view on that? I want to see where you're coming from.
(context: poast)
Re: this passage
PERSONAL BIAS NOTE: Not included in this analysis since this is more a Pet Theme of my own (usually kept quarantined to the realms of my OCs), but something else I see in Siffrin is a reflection of the Dude Issue(tm) of patriarchal irl society disincentivisng Dudes(tm) from ever fucking introspecting ever. I'm curious about nonbinary/trans characters who have no idea they’re nonbinary/trans because they’ve been disincentivised from thinking/doubting their identity due to societal power structures or simply tradition. I dig around the themes of “a lot of guys are trapped in a societal prison without ever knowing and it makes them miserable but they can’t escape because they don’t even see the cage” like, a lot, in my personal work. It intrigues me. So bleh, cards on the table there. That mode of interacting with nb/trans characters is one I'm inclined to. This kinda goes hand in hand with the watsonian vs doylist situation i took an aside to mention. But it is so far along the doylist side that I didn't want to include it, since it is a little too assumptive of the text for my comfort. I don't think the game necessarily has much commentary on this specific Societal Bind. But if it does, then hey, there's my thoughts on it.
This is worded rather short and tossed at the end as a disclaimer of sorts, but i also kept it short because it isn't *super* relevant to my conclusions from the piece. It's there to like, basically serve to check myself since I know it's a theme I Personally Like Exploring-- But I don't actually see as affecting this read much.
But, to elaborate anyway.
What do I mean by this?
So this like. presumably already has a name in feminist theory or something since i'm far from the first person to point it out, but it's a theme I write a lot with my own ocs. I have a spate of characters who are all like-- Mid 30s at the very least-- and are basically queer people who are not super in-tune with their own labels. Notably I have quite a number of "guy" characters who would be nonbinary if they knew what that was AND were emotionally intelligent enough to apply it to themselves.
This is like, distinctly something rooted in observing older, kind of repressed men, but in general is just this idea of emotionally intelligent introspection VERSUS it being societally disincentivised to do just that. It's kind of a dam-breaking effect, y'know? If you're marginalised in one way (gender, sexuality, neurotype, disability, class, *) you can often start spotting ways that related taboos are bullshit, and this may make you either deconstruct those too, or put walls up harder.
* (this is something where race is really complex though since it has to wrestle with how racial identity and masculinity interect, so, it's kind of its own thing here. It DOES factor in, just in a completely diff way thats more delicate)
So in the case of masculinity being something that is oft Actively Dangerous to undermine in your identity (threatens to strip you of rights and basic respect if you Break it), it's one of those things where it can be really, really hard to break into as one of the things to start introspecting about. Even IF you have other things, like sexuality, to set you on the path to maybe deconstructing it.
2. Why I think it DOESN'T apply much to ISAT
This is the watsonian vs doylist point I allude to. ISAT's gender politics (usually exemplified via Isabeau) are informed by the real world's, yes, as all art kind of has to be-- But it's very intentionally egalitarian of a setting. And the writing itself keeps this up spectacularly, with its female characters being well written and equal to their male/ish peers. It's clearly Not Really what the story is Super About. So, it's clearly not the correct lens to view ISAT's deconstructions of masculinity through, since it's more focused on a deconstruction-via-progressive-setting. So trying to read too hard into it is a bit of a fool's errand.
3. Where i think it DOES apply to ISAT
Despite this, there are a few looming spectres of masculinity-as-oppressive-force. Mostly The King choosing to fucking name himself that. It's an invocation of our real-world associations of kings as 1. a thing that requires you be a Man and 2. kings being despotic tyrants who enforce their will over others. This is something where it's less to do with ISAT's Watsonian Lore-based opinions on gender, and more to do with weaponising Our Real-World Doylist understandings of Ruling Masculinity As Opressor.
4. And Siffrin?
Like I say above, the situations wrt: masculinity as a "bad" thing in any way are entirely Doylist in ISAT-- Which means I only really see Siffrin's Repression-due-to-dude-ness as like, effectively an Out-Of-Universe thing? I don't think that, In Universe, Siffrin's hangups about being a guy are to do with his gendered upbringing-- I think they are more generalised hangups about being unable to desire change because that's Selfish and Scary.
ie. i would take the assumption here that Siffrin is taking their birth gender somewhat at face value because it's their birth gender and not because of which specific one it is. (Aside: this is one of the things that actually makes intersex siffrin work super well as an extrapolation of themes, btw. That idea of coerced assignment and feeling stuck with it-- but the lens I was working with in that essay is called 'Actual Intentionalism', which I don't think this read fits. HOWEVER. it works really fucking well well as a Reader-Response interpretation)
*But*, i feel that this Universe-Belief-Induced Disincentivization works extremely well when viewed as a Mirror or Parallel to the Real World Effects of masculinity being treated as an exclusive club* you have to be very careful to not lose the keys to-- or you will be punished socially.
It's less about me thinking this is What Siffrin Has Going On In-Universe, and more how I feel it parallels the IRL experience of Being Afraid To Ditch Masculinity For Fear Of Retribution
(* Exclusive and careful here, as in, trying to Gain (white) Masculinity (as say, a transmasc, intersex individual, or amab racial minority) is also counted as a transgression, as you are seen as stealing, but losing it is very, very easy. It's about power and control. It's also something where IRL, it's also very heavily tied into ideas of Modern 21st Century Whiteness, something ISAT does not really explore, opting instead to investigate the breath of fresh air that is focusing on immigrant diaspora identity as a struggle regardless of how 'welcoming' the culture you immigrated to is of you)
This is. Not super coherent so i apologise? But yeah. It's mostly a disclaimer about how I feel I have some biases towards exploring this theme so much (since I write a lot about characters who are either Literally In The Modern Real World or in settings that are the modern real world but with the absolute lightest coat of paint), but recognise that ISAT is intentionally going for something else-- While still being informed (as all art is) by our current and contemporary moment, so investigating it in a Total Vaccum is. also kind of silly. Lol
TL;DR:
THE STRUCTUAL CONCEPT OF (WHITE HEGEMONIC) MASCULINITY IN THE REAL WORLD IS A COMPLICATED THING, BUT TRYING TO STRAY FROM IT AS AN AMAB INDIVIDUAL IS HIGHLY DISINCENTIVISED. WHILE I DO NOT THINK ISAT IS MAKING MUCH OF A STATEMENT ABOUT THIS INTENTIONALLY, I THINK SIFFRIN'S FEAR OF CHANGE DUE TO ASSUMING THEY WILL BE 'PUNISHED' IN SOME WAY FOR DESIRING IT MAKES FOR A NICE METAPHOR/MIRROR TO THE TRANSFEMME OR AMAB GNC EXPERIENCE, BUT DOES NOT REALLY INFORM MY OVERALL ARGUMENT FOR AMAB NB SIFFRIN/TRANSFEMME LOOP.
but yeah uh. hope that helps. a lot of what im circling around is super tied up in modern idpol so. i will be honest this approaches the edge of depth on how much i can explain without just pointing you to like actual feminist and queer theory as well as literary analysis 101, bc at this point i am just regurgitating that in a less well written manner LOL. and no i dont even have any sources to hand because i AM a little hack fraud, sorry lmao. but yahoo. genderrrrr
#lucabytetalks#isat spoilers#for the. like. one line in there and the linking to the essay#this ! is ! basically not coherent. i am so sorry LOL#at a certain point i am just kind of gesturing wildly about the thin lines between different modes of analysis and hoping ppl arent like#getting confused by them. since i know im coming at this particular one from a horrible horrible mix of both In-universe and#writer-focused real world paralell focused exploration. which is like a lethal combo if you dont deliniate well. which im like.#absolutely not doing. because this is tumblr and i never actually did formal education in analysis to this level. i am in fact just ballin
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movie sonadow would be so l umity-coded…and i say this bc their dynamic is similar to the games but with a different and tender perspective: they both empathize deeply with each other now, and this shadow is not as reticent or closed off bc of that. that being said: movie!sonic would ABSOLUTELY 'YOU'RE the sweet potato!' the hell out of shadow
#i say l umity bc they're my fave yardstick for romantic relationship progression#between two characters who're barely just starting to know themselves let alone their feelings#and bc they're cute. and i have been thinking abt (made sleepless over‚ really) sonic being SO ecstatic to find shadow alive#i just see movie!sonic being more physically affectionate n movie!shadow (w the both of them having already seen each other at their worst)#feeling less of a need to put up a front. not much to hide from the guy you pleaded with to kill you on the moon yk?#speeds over‚ loops his arms and spins him 'round#he would be SO excited to show shadow fun earth stuff#and on a deeper level‚ i think a liiiiiittle bit of it'd be projection#he knows their situations aren't the same. but yet again‚ here's another hedgehog in a strange new world#and he wants to give him everything he wished he'd had when he arrived#so he shows him crappy reality tv and new kinds of foods and other kinds of constellations‚#the proper way to give a fist bump (bc shadow was going to genuinely punch him and he had to explain)‚ and books from the library#they get more movies. sonic teaches him how to play mario kart. he knux and tails induct him into their baseball games#and sonic is delighted to find they have the same problem of hitting the ball Way Too Hard#he answers every question shadow has to the best of his ability#and like. the Main Thought that's been plaguing me is that one day he gets shadow a picture frame#and - idk how sonic got it‚ just roll with it - sonic reveals the picture of shadow and maria#and explains that tom had that section of his old cave‚ the one w the picture of longclaw excavated and preserved#and he doesn't know how tom did it‚ but now she's in his new home too. he doesn't have to leave her behind just bc he found somewhere new#basically trying to show him that it's okay to grieve and to KEEP grieving. that just bc you've been understood‚ that love goes away.#but yeah. they drive me nuts#sonadow#sonic movie 3 spoilers#sth
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that guy is never getting his camera back, i fear
#debating hard if putting this in the main tag is worth it theyre basically both my ocs at this point (joke)#lil post canon moment again#i cant stop !#also i fucking hate drawing backgrounds please forgive me i KNOW it looks bad 🥹#digital art#my art#fanart#rhys's pieces (fanart)#rhys's pieces (oc)#original character#fallout ocs#oc -> chester#ocs -> fallout#fallout new vegas#arcade fnv#arcade gannon#fnv#also i know some of the anatomy is janky i didnt use a reference because i could not find or create one for this pose so#sorry im apologizing on so many levels for the way this art looks as if i didnt draw it for an audience of one (me)
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gentle reminder that human health does not fit into a binary system and nothing is ever really fully a mental or physical disability
stress can have significant effects on physical health, more than you'd think
and the basis of any mental disability is still physical, that's why it's possible to develop medications for it
#salt baby talks#ignoring the fact that exclusionism is counterproductive to advancing any kind of disability agenda#the biology just straight up doesnt support it#neuroinflammation and things like increased cortisol levels are a big deal#they can affect any of my 'physical' disabilities#sometimes more than any other factor#and theres evidence of changes in the brain and the rest of the body with basically every 'mental' disorder#thats why we have things like SSRIs or antipsychotics#epilepsy is limited to the brain but this one is always physical#parkinsons is at its core a loss of dopamine in the brain#alzheimers has predominantly mental symptoms#yet we dont call that a mental disorder#and they are equally as disabling as physical conditions!#i would know#i have 'both'#and if you disagree#make your case and ill happily discuss this further#i do have to wonder if maybe undercutting this#is that same negative societal bias that occurs with things like depression and anxiety and PTSD#where people think you should just 'get over' it#that the logic is that 'physical' disabilities are MORE disabling because 'you can just get over mental disabilities'#which isnt true ftr most mental disorders are lifelong and chronic#people are deemed treated for a mental health condition when theyre subclinical or in remission or in control of their condition#not when theyve returned to 'normal' because its not going to happen#disability#chronic illness#ableism#mental health#and yes i am cognizant of the fact that when people say this they mostly mean mental health disorders like mood disorders#i phrased this the way i did because a) its mental health conditions that are usually the target of this and b) we can have meds for both
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Deltarune Chapter 4 spoilers
okayokayokay so i’m not the type to do the secret bosses because A. I’m not good enough at the game to get to them on my own (typically have to look up guides and such, not just for deltarune but for most games) and B. I’m not good enough at the game so i usually get frustrated half way through and don’t want to deal with them and longer
but recently
i’ve been playing hollow knight
so now i feel more confident to throwing myself into loosing battles just so i have shave a few more phases off a boss fight
although again i fucking suck at the game so i didn’t do the secret boss for chapter three (really? i have to get S tier?? i can only get a- dude wdym???)
Anyway, thought i wouldn’t do the “secret” boss fight for chapter four either since i haven’t for any of the other chapters and i don’t want to deal with the stress
But the Axe…
Susie… my darling…
I must get her that fucking Axe…
i actually don’t know if this is a secret bosses or just how your progress (i’ve made no attempts to do anything but this boss fight, since i need that Axe) but i’ve decided to sleep on it (both because it’s reasonably late where i am and i need to do stuff tomorrow and im getting kinda frustrated at thing) so let’s see what i can cook up
one thing i do know, is i am getting Susie that fucking Axe, no matter who i need to kill, no matter what war crimes i need to commit, im getting her that Axe
#again idk if this is the actual secret boss#the reason i think that is because he said ‘yall can leave if you wanna’#but again i have not left because i need her Axe#i both hate and love this man#when i saw the green heart i was like ‘oh no’ because i played undertale and#let’s just say#i am NOT a gamer#despite the fact that’s what i spend most of my time on#but undyne’s fight gave me a lot of trouble i remember and seeing that heart gave me flashbacks#i actually don’t know my skill level in comparison to other people#but considering i don’t have a pc i feel like im on an uneven playing field#i’m pretty good and every system non-pc (despite the fact i haven’t played xbox in a long time and have barely ever played playstation)#but just can’t do pc at all ever in my life since. again. don’t have one and didn’t really have one growing up#i do have a computer but it’s a chromebook and uhhh haha no#you can’t get nothing on that and it would basically be tablet: the worse addition#anyway i should get to bed#bye bye#deltarune#deltarune chapter 4#deltarune chapter 4 spoilers#deltarune spoilers
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i saw a post saying boom was good bc it feels like it could be done with any doctor/companion duo and honestly that was one of the things i felt was wrong with it
#in a show with a title character that could be Literally Anyone and a companion sharing the lead that could be Literally Anyone#i value the little moments that set this duo apart from the rest. ESPECIALLY when it comes to returning writers like rtd/moff#fifteen and ruby felt a little too eleven/twelve and clara adjacent in boom. in both their dialogue and characterization#space babies also landed a little weird at first bc it lifted a bit from end of the world BUT the scenes that fifteen and ruby#had to themselves. like ruby getting covered in snot and fifteen laughing. or fifteen and ruby looking after the Space Babies#or fifteen going out of his way to save the monster bc that monster is the only one of its kind Just Like Him Fr#that stuff is so good and its also something we haven't seen from another nuwho doctor. the vulnerable bleeding-heart empathy#and a dynamic w a companion that is basically 'two troublemakers that just deeply love fun and adventure and getting into trouble together'#oh yeah and also the devil's chord was peak fiction because it touches on fifteen's renewed connection and love for humanity#and marries it to ruby being a musician and how music like any art is the expression of the human soul etc etc#WHAT MAKES A DOCTOR WHO STORY GOOD TO ME IS PARTLY HOW THE PREMISE TIES INTO THE DOCTOR AND COMPANION'S CHARACTERS#IT HAS TO FEEL LIKE IT WAS TAILOR MADE TO THEM. ELSE IT WONT LAND RIGHT TO ME#i hate the take that they should've saved wild blue yonder for a fifteen episode bc#the tension is hinged on how well the doctor/companion know each other. u have a level of it that u can ONLY get#with fourteen and donna who are two halves of a whole soul but have also spent much more time missing the other than knowing them#im not rewatching fifteen's eps rn until a week later when i can watch it w my qpp but#rn i still feel a stronger sense of fifteen and ruby's characters from all the rtd-written eps rather moffat#which like. i get that a lot of that is my personal dislike of moffat's writing style but still#dr who#15 era#dw spoilers
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#I DISSOLVE INTO MY OTHER SELVES: musings.#DO I NOT LIVE? BADLY I KNOW BUT I LIVE: jeandre.#FIND GOD IN THE LINE OF YOUR JAW AND BREAK IT: visage.#the idea of the Ten-Eyed Man sitting in that chair like that for at least a few hours waiting for jacosta to get home to surprise her like-#that makes me giggle though JSJSJ like he is SO overdramatic and this was also totally his way of saying-#'dr. joy you are now my new favorite person :3' is both SO funny + kind of iconic to me - because they really were casually obsessed with#her TBH. but anyways just imagine jeandre showing up to the function (your muses house) and just... Casually flexing that#he have contortionist level flexibility to them after they also might've drank all the orange juice in their fridge BC they would TBH...#like what would they do?? LMAO also the fact that he has his hands down so he basically can't see makes them even funnier to me jsjsj#the little 'arm reaching out thing' he does in the bottom left panel though too... Jeandre really does know how to show people#that he likes them BC basically CRAWLING towards someone semi-sensually? couldn't be me but they pull it off somehow xxx
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Hey y'all! Weird question time again, this time martial arts related: If you ever took a martial arts class that included sparring, did they teach you how to fall and how to throw a punch (like physically how to hold your hand and wrist as you punch so you don't hurt yourself) Because it occurs to me that the classes I took never went over that? And like, I didn't really need them to, my mom used to teach kickboxing and taught me to throw a punch correctly when I was a very little kid, but it's weird that it never came up, right? My mom and I took the classes together, and a few times we brought a friend of mine and they did not teach her how to throw a punch either and she was a total beginner
#the person behind the yarn#violence mention#not really violence just a question about martial arts classes#but I know my blog is mostly stuffed animals and quilts and stuff#and some of my followers want to avoid even that level of mention of it#I don't talk about it much because I can barely do it now#but I really really enjoyed sparring and I was pretty darn good at it for my size#I mean at the time I was like still not fully grown and most of the people I sparred with could have tossed me across the room easily#so good at it for my size is very much not the same thing as good at it#but it was fun! I wish I could still do it! sparring and swing dancing both#someday maybe I will do them again but in the mean time: it's weird that they didn't go over the basics right???
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its been like. nearly a year (How.) already but i cannot lie theres Still a part in the back of my brain occupied with and being thoroughly entertained by the way that childes confirmed 4.0 complete self-awareness over waking up the narwhal at 14 recontextualizes some key liyue things leading to some very funny self indulgent scenarios in my head
like yes chili is old news its basic please excuse me for predictable popular ship crimes (do NOT however associate me w the crimes of fanon against their actual range. theyre peak to Me) but i just keep replaying the imagery of zhongli and childe back on their homoerotic Professional Working Relationship bullshit where their flirting passed the jkjk unless treshold of even remotely plausible deniability like 8 exorbitantly priced business dinners ago and theyre just like. doing that whole song and dance now neither committing to a move except zhonglis presently feeling moderately conflicted (but nonetheless fairly unfazed at) by the prospects of actually developing some sort of a thing for the harbinger hes supposed to puppet master into executing the major story climax of his 67-step retirement plan bc he turned out to be quite the strangely charming ginger specimen (to His weird fucking 6000 year old tastes at least. they deserve each other) with some fascinating life ambitions he cant help but be enraptured by.
but because hes still 100% Locked In on his entire plan zhonglis also just . simultaneously dual wielding his coy-ass "i like you and am taking it slow to Savor this developing relationship (Also bc of the Geo Archon Shaped Elephant In The Room) except am old as shit so my languid sense of time inadvertedly Automatically turns my behavior into an equivalent of the dark souls boss of playing hard2get" act (cue "waddup im ajax 24 and im in fucking agony with this hot funeral consultant". Yes they live like this) AND also meticulously theorycrafting like 12 moves in advance for his 6d chess play of leaving the most subtly crafted trail of breadcrumbs behind for the tsaritsas 11th to follow into the intended & completely "Coincidental" idea of unleashing the one particular sealed sea deity that zhongli Specifically wants momentarily released for his sweet 6k retirement party and graduation test for the nation hes helicopter parented for 3.7k years .
like. this is zhongli we r talking about the guy Absolutely has it planned out down to a fucking art like he has an entire branching path dialogue tree planned and memorized like its a visual novel for every possible way he can conveniently namedrop osial in a non-suspect way and also that he just happens to be sealed right over there across the harbor (what a coincidence!) and also to slip in the intel about the latent power of the sigil of permission etc etc. like zhonglis just out there doing all this massive galaxy brain computational work simultaneously while infodumping on an academic level about whichever subject childes latest random comment of amicable small talk happened to remind him of because in his helicopter parent in remission mind its Absolutely Critical that the idea about releasing osial occurs Completely organically in childes mind it Has to he Cannot risk revealing anything . (hes in remission not in recovery guys.) so like here we are. he requested notes from the tsaritsa Personally on the character of her 11th just to ensure every move was painstakingly crafted to draw him Specifically to the intended conclusion without risking revealing his true identity .
except. the thing . neither he. nor the tsaritsa . would have been informed of . is that this simply isnt childes first fucking rodeo waking up an eldritch city sized sea creature . and he is very well aware of this fact . he woke that beautiful wonderful beloved huge fucking narwhal up by himself had his brain chemistry Immediately and Irrevocably rewired as a direct consequence do you fucking think hes somehow stopped thinking about that singular moment for even a second since then???
yeah . thought so.
so what actually ends up happening in reality is theyll be on another definitely-serious-business-not-just-a-date and zhonglis going to get down to like dialogue selection part 10 of the 86 step conversation tree at Most where hes only beginning to like Vaguely allude to the key pieces of information involved but it turns out Because Hes That Guy (TM) And Has Been There Done That Before childes basic pattern recognition and sense of irony simply proceed to kick in Way ahead of time and hes Immediately perking up like Hey wouldnt it be really fucking funny if i wake up an eldritch sea beast Again . like just in case. as a last ditch effort .
and zhonglis just sitting there seeing the gears turn in his head as they enjoy their cringe fucking picnic (bc they just stare at each other intently like that nowadays its a thing. being in a room with them by this point is essentially a human rights violation) and is just completely fucking flabbergasted and lost on how in the hell childes speedran his way to that conclusion at what amounts to barely a 13% completion rate in his whole overkill fucking plan (just 1 of 3 contingencies btw) and its like yes he has his intended outcome but also precisely 0 idea on how the fuck said outcome was reached the way it was this fast . like hes still winning its His plan thats well underway and ahead of schedule but How
(pov: ur selling the concept of waking up destructive sea creatures to the guy who woke up a celestial body eating cosmic whale at 14)
anyway its truly beautiful i absolutely detest these two and have prime liyue AQ hijinks nostalgia now thank you for the lore drop that allowed this to become canon in my head hoyo
#im sorry for completely out of nowhere ship posting dude idk where this came from . i had to get it off my chest ig . runs away#chili my dearest i miss em . theyre the most normal business partners to lovers dynamic to me NO drama whatsoever they just#happen to be insane fucking people and thats why it ends up weird . but relationship wise. bland as SHIT they just get along well#drama?? betrayal?? angst?? NO. 1 spar and childe forgives instantly we all know this to be true#theyre so fucking basic as a couple bc both of them being as weird as they are just ends up canceling out#bc neither is unnerved by the insane shit the other comes with . and they just like. date normally . and make a semi-open committed ldr wor#they simply civilly agree not to bring up the uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Religious differences .#6k yo highly suspect god known for signing NDA with celestia dating guy intent on torching the fucking place personally like .#'we make it work despite our differences 😌'#and the known self-admitted heretic if it gives him power looking to conquer the world just#'oh no need to Rush the agenda after all im still busy getting stronger 😊 in time watch tf out tho <333 youre so sexy aha'#dont listen to bland tropey fanon guysss listen to me they could be so fucking peak. they Are to me#altho childe pairings are so weird to me now being a true narwhal truther. theyre all basically a love triangle to me now LKWDJKWDKJWDKJ#like listen. they could be in love they could be the same entity they could be opposites. nemeses. platonic soulmates. romantic rivals. idc#BUT whatever the fuck they are i want them together please thank uuuuuuuu so like. added hysteria factor to any other ship w ajax .#hes still fucking cheating on his narwhalllll on all levels. romantic. platonic. cosmic. unphased by any attempts at defining their bond#with mere words. what are they??? no clue. still cheating. no i dont explain my poetry often. theyre simply everything to me xx#how do i even fucking tag this man its not rly childeposting worthy is it....#and im not abt to risk breaching containment in the chili tag.........................#guess its just#genshin#rambles#lmaooo wjkdwkjwjkdjkdw
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*Sweating throwing up nauseous dizzy*
What if vox is Asian American



#Hazbin hotel#vox#hcs#musings#idk I just think it would be cool#i feel like there aren’t a lot of East Asian villains that are allowed to be sloppy boisterous and vulgar outside of media made by Asian#people#I know a lot of people draw his human form white as a sheet but i dunno#I also think that would explain why he initially clicks with Alastor so much#both of them are part of marginalized groups in their respective time periods#swamped by the expectation to be subservient to their white peers#but they both rise above it with their passion for the innovation of entertainment#to describe that dynamic it’s basically that Alastor is the burr to vox’s hamilton . except in this version burr wins on most levels#this also gives context to vox’s raging inferiority complex bc. if his parents were immigrants at the time compounded with the economic#and war time struggles then that probably made him feel pressured to succeed quick and hard#vox would definitely be disconnected from his culture and obsessed with pursuing the American dream#whereas Alastor i think would be v in tune with creole based language and culture as evidenced by his close relationship with his mother#near the end of Alastor and vox’s friendship Alastor would likely mock him for abandoning his roots in search of prominence#it would actually be quite sad
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I didn’t use to count it as a win at all but I am learning that the kids having a multiplicity of reactions to a work IS a win a) because it means it’s individual and personal and they’re having some kind of response that is authentic and therefore automatically not the same as a big group and b) because it’s actually a far likelier danger that they all turn on the work together and hate it (it’s hard, above their heads, old, takes a lot of work to understand.) so the sign of differences of opinion proves that isn’t happening.
#teaching tag#this is a mouthful. but basically I used to take it more personally when kids wouldn’t like a work.#and I just know now it isn’t about that.#it’s about them responding to it and engaging with it. on both a work level and on an emotional level
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