#i might dropout but well see.......

[lucasoliko]

I really hope college doesn't end me this year cuz last year i barely had any time to draw things i actually wanted to draw and everything i did was schoolwork that i didn't even enjoy doing/didn't like how it turned out, i just want to draw silly cowboys or stuff that reminds me of the silly dress up cowboy game pls let me be free

[bergoozter]

alright watcherinas let’s theorize ! ✨

[calico-kiwi]

every joel smallishbeans video i become more obsessed with joel smallishbeans

[certified-bi]

Okay all my thoughts because some people have been saying that not supporting this change is not supporting artist and creators and as an artist fuck that.

1. Audiences owe you nothing. You have to convince them to engage with your creation not the other way around. This is something both the nonprofit theatre I work with recognizes and huge companies realize. It's just part of life. There are so many talented people in the world making amazing art, videos, music, writings, and on and on, and there's only so much time in the day. I'm not saying you shouldn't know your worth, just that being flippant about how little you care about those who can't pay isn't a good move. On that note...

2. PR is everything. If you haven't made a visible effort to push patreon, channel memberships or other avenues of making money, don't be suprised that your creation that was previously accessible to those without extra cash and to those who can't support foreign subscriptions due either to conversions or because it simply doesn't work, being made private isn't popular. There's a big leap from "We want to have more artistic control" to "We can't afford to make our content accessible to most of our audience," and people are smart enough to see this. You either have to make budget cuts or give into sponsors. This isn't unique to Watcher, it's part of literally every production from broadway, to Hollywood, to YouTube. Unless you can fund it yourself or get viewers to pay(which given how many are already strapped for cash...) that's life.

Not to mention they simply do not have enough followers to make the switch to a paid only site(dropping the first epsiode only on YouTube isn't going to draw people in, they're just going to say "oh why start if I'm not going to see the rest" and not watch) especially not one that is buggy and a security risk. Even if the switch had been supported its not going to end well. The only reason services like nebula and dropout work is because of the large amount of series and creators and the fact those creators still are partly on YouTube so new people are drawn in.

3. As for the price, 6 dollars a month is a not a good starting price for only their content and that's as someone who pays for nebula. I'd be paying the same amount for a fraction of the access to others work. Actually it'd be twice as much. And before someone says "it's only a coffee-" that's for you. Not everyone has your lifestyle. And with every other patreon and subscription service that says the same thing, it all adds up and I simply don't think 60 dollars for 48 videos a year on a subscription basis where you don't get to keep the videos if your situation changes, some of which don't appeal to every viewer is a good move. If you were able to buy physical copies of your favorite series they've made that'd be different, but that's not what this is.

4. I do believe that the employees deserve a livable wage. I also did not hire them. It is not on the viewers that they hired more people than they could afford to. They can charge that much if they want to to try and balance this out. They also shouldn't be suprised if not many can or will sign up. They also don't have to be based in L.A. L.A has ridiculous costs associated with it, and quite honestly it doesn't really add much to the content. I'm not saying they need to move to the middle of nowhere Kansas. Simply that living and basing your studio in a super expensive city and then being suprised money is tight is just weird.

5. Something that occurs to me is that they might get more views if their playlists were better set up. Only some series are given playlists. It'd be easier to find all of the series and binge them if they didn't just show off their more popular shows. Honestly the only draw the streaming site has to me is that the series are actually labeled well.

Do I think the weird ass energy towards Steven is necessary? No. He's not the only one at the company and they're all adults. I actually liked grocery run and homemade, and like to see them back. The parascoial attachment to Ryan and Shane is annoying in people's criticisms, but that doesn't make them completely wrong. If you're going to brand yourself as the anti capalist underdogs you can't get away with being dismissive of your poorer fans. The dissonance is what is causing this backlash and makes you look like hypocrites. I definitely think Steven is turning into the fall guy which is fucked up, his statement and the fact dish granted is one of those shows that make people uncomfortable about wealth flexs doesn't help matters.

[astroismypassion]

Astrology observations 🎉🧡🎉

Credit goes to @astroismypassion

🎉Sun conjunct Saturn in Synastry chart is great if you are an Earth Sun or have Saturnian, Uranian influence. But you can find it quite restrictive and controlling if you are a Water Sun sign.

🎉 If you are born during Waning Crescent Moon phase, you are likely passionate and hard-working, but you often feel restricted by your own emotions. You feel like they are holding you back sometimes when you want to take action and achieve in more things.

🎉I think you can really end up struggling with long-distance partnership if you have Moon in the 1st house Synastry with someone. This is this one overlay that I think really requires for the both of you to cuddle, hug as much as possible and to see each other often since it create emotional connection for the two of you and you feel emotionally stable, satisfied and content.

🎉If you are the Mars person in the 8th house Synastry, you really gotta be mindful of not draining the 8th house person, especially their resources, items or finances.

🎉I think it is not said enough how Virgo Venus and Venus in the 6th house change for their partner as well not just Virgo Venus/Venus in the 6th house native wanting to change their partner. They are an Earth Venus, much like Taurus Venus, they are accomodating (even Capricorn Venus if they truly like you), they want to see you comfortable.

🎉People with Taurus over the 5th house really see shopping, going to the grocery store as a workout. They love just go into a store and window shop or buy little things. It's one of the favourite activities to do when they have free time or a day off. Their hobbies could also include leisure walks in the nature, going to the market, arts and crafts, watching films, eating sweets or indulging their sweet tooth in any other way, baking and cooking. They get so much joy from doing these things.

🎉Mars in the 12th house in Synastry screams missed opportunities. You might often run into each other without talking, speaking or interacting with one another. You might just be constantly thrown into each other's energy by the universe. You might formally introduce to each other much later in the connection.

🎉 The native who has Sagittarius Lilith or Lilith in the 9th house in the Natal chart might marry a college dropout or at least partner up with them (committed partnership).

🎉Mars in the 7th house overlay in Synastry chart is either you two have personalities with slight differences or different lifestyles, habits, way of doing things, behaviours, mannerisms and how you act, take action.

🎉 Pisces Moon natives are prone to fake cry in front of other people or they exaggerate the crying in front of another person. They are numbing themselves out usually when they actually feel like they are starting to cry in front of someone. These people always cry and process properly their feeling when left on their own alone, therefore never in front of another person.

🎉 In Synastry in Moon in the 6th house overlay, the house person might make more money than the Moon person.

🎉When you have your Saturn in someone's 1st house or aspecting their Ascendant, you are this person's mentor, guide. They teach from you a lot.

🎉With someone's Ascendant falling into your 8th house in a Synastry chart there was a sexual undertone to your meeting or in early stages of getting to know each other. You could have even seen this person's body or they wore very tight, fitted clothing. But other than physical appearance, this is a very deeply emotionally transformative connection. This overlay reminds me of Prince William seeing Princess Catherine in sheer dress during college fashion show.

🎉I noticed that whenever someone has Aquarius Mercury in a Natal chart they really crave a partner that is their intellectual equal. That's why they love other Air signs, such as Gemini or Libra Mercury or even yet another Aquarius Mercury. They have hard time feeling like a person with Cancer Mercury or Pisces Mercury is their intellectual equal.

🎉You feel incredibly supported when someone's Moon falls on your North Node and vice versa. There is soulmate vibe to this connection and you basically feel "nurtured" into the right direction where you are going. So it's very supportive, sweet, caring and nurturing overlay.

Credit goes to @astroismypassion

[noodlesarecheese]

So Watcher is launching a Dropout (it's not called Dropout but they're clearly using the same template format platform thing idk what it's called, and the same pricing structure), and the reaction so far has been wildly different than what I remember from Dropout's launch. I was curious about why that was or if I was just misremembering the Dropout launch, so I went back to the Dropout launch video to compare them and I think I can see where some of the difference is coming from.

If you want to make the comparison yourself: Watcher's Video, Dropout's Video.

I wanna clarify first though that this isn't a knock against Watcher or the fans who are reacting one way or another or anything like that, I genuinely am just fascinated with how different the reactions are to what seems to be the same business decision. This also isn't a 'wow watcher sucks and dropout is so much better' I'm just using them for comparison because they did the same thing with different results. ALSO this isn't about the business decision itself, just the presentation! Disclaimers out of the way, here's the analysis.

Title and Thumbnail So the Watcher.tv announcement video is titled "Goodbye Youtube" and the thumbnail is Ryan, Shane, and Steven sitting on a couch looking serious, with a dark background. That really makes it seem like they're quitting (which, ok, they are quitting youtube but not quitting quitting). Viewers are already primed to be upset, and it's easier to go from upset to angry than upset to excited, curious, or neutral.

Compare to the dropout announcement video: "How the Internet is Ruining Comedy" - inline with other collegehumor video titles, might make you curious. Thumbnail - Big News! with Sam smiling and a bright background. We know its big news, but he looks happy, and the exclamation point let's us know they want us to be excited. Viewers are primed to be curious and excited.

Tone The Watcher announcement has 2 main tones. The first half is very sentimental, almost sad or wistful at times, and while there are parts that veer into pride at achievements, it's mostly bittersweet and sentimental. The second half is a bit more uplifting, but still quite serious. It reminded me of a tech announcement, like when they introduce the new iphone or something like that. Very professional, sleek, and serious, which isn't automatically a bad thing! But I do think that's not the vibe a decently-sized chunk of the audience expected or wanted. Many people watch Watcher for the cast's dynamic with each other, humor, and the more relaxed/conversational/friendly feel that most of the series have.

Compare to dropout - excited and comedic tone. Still professional, but also fits the expectations of the viewers. People watch collegehumor for the humor (it was in the name, after all). They also poke a bit of fun at themselves, which lightens the mood, shows self-awareness, and alleviates some of the bad feelings about paywalling.

Focus The Watcher announcement focuses a lot on the creative journey of the cast and company, as well as how this move will benefit them. Which isn't a bad thing, that's actually quite interesting! The problem here, I think, is actually more about what isn't here - a solid explanation of how this will also benefit the viewers and why the viewers should be excited. There's a brief description of one new show, and the promise that existing shows will get an upgrade, but we weren't given many specific details about how they'll be improved, and there's only one new show to tempt us into subscribing. Some people will be excited for that, some people won't, and some people will be excited but not enough to subscribe. Having 2 or 3 series (even if it's 1 fleshed out plus a few teasers of what's in production or what is being planned) plus some more details about how existing shows will be improved would've helped. Without that, it really does seem like it'll just be the same stuff viewers were getting for free, but now paywalled, rather than new and exciting stuff. That makes a big difference. I think with the fans not getting as much focus, this also led to some (accidental, I hope) hurt feelings. Based on what I've seen from fan reactions, all the talk about hitting the peak of what they can do on youtube and wanting more, translated for many people to 'youtube isn't enough' which became 'you (the current viewers) aren't enough.' Which I don't think was their intent! But I also don't think fans are wrong for feeling hurt by that.

Compare to dropout: They clearly explain how the move will benefit fans, and reassure viewers that existing content will stay where it is, and only new content will be behind the paywall. (Watcher clarified this too, but in a comment. It's not in the video itself, which is a huge problem.) They include clips of several new (at the time) series that would be premiering on dropout, including things that specifically could not be made on youtube (due to weed, violence, and sexual humor), so the reason for the shift is clear to the audience.

Advertisers Both videos contain the sentiment that being monetarily successful on youtube means working to appease the advertisers, and that over time what the advertisers want and what the creators want drifts further and further apart, putting strain on the creators.

However, I think the message gets lost a bit in the Watcher vid. Instead, it leaves viewers with the idea that the main problem is just ads are annoying instead of advertisers putting constraints on content. I'm not even sure what the specific constraints are for watcher, because they didn't give any examples. And the focus on ads being annoying leaves viewers frustrated because people typically either don't mind ads or they already have an ad blocker.

Timing and Size Okay, this isn't exactly about presentation, but it is still a factor that impacts perception so I'm tackling it. And I'm actually going to do dropout first. CollegeHumor launched dropout in September 2018. Pre-pandemic, but also pre-Sam Reich as CEO. The company was still owned by IAC. It was a Company, and while it wasn't huge it wasn't tiny either. So launching dropout was a Company Decision, a Business Strategy. Some people were upset about, but it wasn't a personal betrayal (generally, anyways). If I remember correctly, this was also not a high point for the company. They kinda needed dropout to do well to keep things running smoothly (which is why they shut it down and sold it to Sam just 1 1/2ish years later), so the sudden shift made sense.

Watcher Entertainment is a company, but it doesn't feel like one. Ryan, Shane, and Steven own and operate things, but they're also the faces, and they're youtubers. Which makes every business decision they make feel more personal to viewers, especially those who have been watching for a long time. They've also seemingly been doing well on youtube, which makes it more difficult for viewers to understand why the sudden change is happening now. They do talk a bit about it, about the company expanding and wanting to do things that advertisers don't like (which I've already covered). However, mostly the choice to start a streaming platform is framed as 'the next big step' without much clarification on why it's the next big step. Plus, it's post-pandemic, and a lot of people are still struggling financially with the ripple effects of that. Yes, $6 isn't a wild amount of money, but there have been some months where $5 absolutely meant the difference between paying all my bills or not, and I know I'm not the only one. This, coupled with a lack of clarity about why exactly they're doing this, leads to fans feeling hurt, betrayed, bitter, and frustrated.

Now, presentation and framing isn't everything. No matter how perfect your announcement is, some people are still going to be upset. It's a big change, of course people will be upset! But I do think a more careful presentation would've alleviated some of the hurt and anger that fans are feeling. While I do think a lot of the reaction we're seeing is due to the decision, I think (based on what I've seen) that some of it is also based on the poor communication in the video itself, and that could've been avoided!

So I'm gonna get a little speculative and describe what I would've done. In this hypothetical, they've decided to launch the streaming service and brought me on just for the announcement.

Firstly, switch the title out. If they're married to Goodbye Youtube then add a (and hello...?) after so it's at least obvious they aren't fully quitting. The dark color scheme of the thumbnail fits their regular vibe, but they want everyone to be excited so they should look excited. Next, let's lighten the tone up. Being proud of what they've done so far is great, but we don't need the sentimental music and bittersweetness. Remember, the goal is to get viewers excited about what come's next - so let's focus on what actually comes next! Talk about specific show plans and mention why they wouldn't work on youtube. Then, take some time to reassure the fans. Predict a few likely worries and address them in the video. Acknowledge that it's a big change, that it will take time to get used to, and that not everyone will be onboard, and let the fans know that it's ok if they aren't onboard.

Like I said, this wouldn't fix everything. There are a few differences in between dropout and watcher that don't have anything to do with presentation. Dropout launched with primarily new shows rather than new seasons of existing shows, and they continued uploading to youtube relatively regularly in addition to the content behind the paywall, which I do think went a long way to keeping fans happy. At this point it's unclear if watcher will do either of those or not. But, while I don't think it would fix everything, I do think improved communication in the announcement would've helped.

[deepwaterwritingprompts]

Big Deep Water News 🪼🪼🪼

As some of you might know, I write not just two sentence prompts, but full length manuscripts as well. Following beta sourced from the followers of this very blog, I’ve been querying the most recent, titled BORDERLINE, intermittently for about a year.

And, as of this week, I’ve officially signed with a literary agent and am now represented by Stephen Barbara at Inkwell Management.

Prompts will continue as I work on some edits (and my regular job) and dream the manuscript gets picked up and published. If you’re interested, here’s a link to the tag on my personal, and the description below the cut!

I’ll definitely be sharing any news that comes up on this topic. It’s pretty wild but here we are. Stay weird, keep writing, and love always,

- Lilia 💫

Lin O’Leary keeps her eyes closed. That’s how you survive in the town of Florida: small, slightly run down, and sitting right on a rip in reality. Known to locals as ‘the borderline’, all anyone knows for sure is that it ate town darling Momo Kasahara six years ago, and is best left alone. Lin, a high school dropout now working at the world’s weirdest corner store, tries not to dwell on the girl she might have loved if she’d had the chance. No real friends or future, she accepts midnight shifts, saves her pennies, and ignores the faceless entity seeking instant oatmeal. 

When a grown up Momo appears one night like a ghost in the snack aisle, everything changes. Lin is sure that finding her will cure the strange gloom that’s been hanging over her and her town for so long. Remaining twin Bo Kasahara just wants his family whole again, and touring paranormal vlogger Julien True sees his chance to shoot the pilot episode of his dreams. Together the three of them must learn how to cross the borderline, unraveling the terrible secrets of Florida one by one until their rescue mission is successful. Because Momo is not a ghost at all. 

Momo Kasahara is impossible to find and furious about it. Her hometown is an otherworldly shadow, her mind is definitely going, and her only neighbors treat her with eldritch indifference…most of the time. Stuck somewhere just outside of existence, she knows she must save herself soon, before she forgets what it means to be human.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Seongji Yuk x Reader: Travel

G/N. Fluffy but a lil bittersweet.

"I was reading about Paris today." You say, breaking the silence and poking the fire with a stick.

Yeonji continues to stare into the flames, you think he might not have heard or is just ignoring your small talk until a full minute later, he asks if that's in Europe.

"Yep, France. It's meant to be really romantic. I wanna see it for myself."

You feel his eyes turning to you at your comment and your face flushing when he tilts his head, trying to work you out.

.

.

"Apparently nothing prepares you for the scale of the Grand Canyon," you mention during another night. This time with the full company of the Cheonliang gang.

"It would be cool to visit." You add, as Mary gives you a questioning look before her gaze then flickers to Yeonji.

"Sounds boring as shit." Vin snorts.

You snap "Nobody asked you!" at the same time as Yeonji responds with "I don't think so."

.

.

"Do you think we would make it all the way across the Great Wall of China?"

Seongji momentarily pauses skewering the fruit, his prep for tanghulu, to consider your question.

"I don't see why not."

.

.

"What do you think about Jeju Island?" You ask as Seongji prepares kimchi, surrounded by tubs of cabbage and seasoning paste.

He looks up and gives you a small shrug, "I don't."

You roll your eyes at his answer. "Well, do you want to visit together one day?"

It's the first time you've asked him directly.

All your talk about other countries and sights is fanciful at best and delusional at worst. But somewhere like Jeju is much closer to home. Somewhere penniless students and dropouts are more likely to make a reality instead of it being wishful thinking and hypotheticals.

Yeonji doesn't answer you straight away, there's very few things he answers straight away.

You know he's considering his life in Cheonliang, the home he has made for himself on the mountain. How difficult escaping this wretched place would be and how sweet freedom would taste.

Daunting, however.

Overwhelming to think of an entire world outside of this cult.

He settles on asking you a question back, "Is that where you want to go?"

You think of lush greenery, beautiful beaches, sand between your toes and eating delicious tangerines with Seongji by your side.

It sounds like heaven.

"Well I'd go anywhere with you," you avoid looking at his face with your admission, "but Jeju would be nice."

Oh.

Oh.

Seongji feels his heart pounding, and it’s nothing like when he has to calm himself down with a cocktail of pills to prevent himself from losing control.

There’s a warmth that spreads from his chest, a fluttering in his stomach.

He wants to grab your hand but focuses on his task instead.

"Ok."

Nevertheless, you catch a small smile settling over his face as he rubs the kimchi paste into the leaves.

"Ok." You agree, beaming.

Maybe visiting this summer will be nice, or more realistically the next. There’s an escape you need to plan and money you need to save.

But you’re in no rush. As long as you're with Seongji, you don't mind waiting.

[propertyofyoutube]

I want to tell the world - EXPLICIT

Summary: You and Colby had been in a relationship for almost 10 months but you kept it on the down low. Colby wasn't ready to share you the world, only, you, Colby, Sam and your families knew of it and a couple of very close friends. You were invited on the dropouts podcast and when Zach flirted with you, and you flirted back as part of your cover.... Colby was not happy about it.

WARNINGS: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, choking, dom!colby, spanking, inappropriate language, "slut", flirting, lots of dirty talk, arguments, angry!colby, creampie, utter filth tbh, alcohol consumption.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

"Oh my god yay! You're here!" Tara said as she excited opened up Zach's front door.

"We're here!" You laughed as you spoke walking into Tara embrace. "I missed you!" You smiled into the hug.

"I missed you too bitch!" Tara said laughing as she squeezed you tighter.

Zach suddenly appeared as Sam and Colby walked directly behind you, "what's up guys!" Zach said as he approached.

"Yo man, thanks for having us." Colby said as he smiled, shaking Zach's hand.

Sam moved in quickly, taking Colby's place, "I am so ready to my podcast on!" Sam said with a chuckle.

"That's a the spirit!" Zach said excitedly. "And hello miss y/l/n... oh how my empty heart is happy to see you." He said to you with a smirk as you rolled your eyes with a giggle. You turned to look at Colby, who did not look impressed at all. You give him a wink before smile at him. And with that smile he can't help but give you one in return.

Everyone said hello to the rest of the gang as they gathered in the studio taking their seats. You sat comfortably between Sam and Colby on the long bench as Jared took Alyssa's original spot and Tara in Jared's.

"And we're off!" Jared said as he initiated the beginning of the podcast.

"Okay guys," Zach spoke instantly, "before we get into.. into the dirty stuff... are you not going to acknowledge our outfits?" He said with the straightest face, his internet persona fully in action.

You, Sam and Colby all laughed as you looked at everyone dressed as Scooby doo characters. "You know I was thinking that you had an interesting choice of outfit." Colby said as he pointed at Jared laughing, who was wearing an actual Scooby doo costume.

"Well... I mean this is not usually how I would dress." Jared said chuckling.

"Did we.. did we not give you a good reaction when we came in?" Sam said sarcastically knowing we had no reaction what so ever.

Zach spoke quickly, "well I know that y/n wanted to jump on me and rip this thing off because we all know she can't resist a man, well any man." He said jokingly, insinuating that she was a slut. Sam and colby laughed as you rolled your eyes.

"Zach, stop making my friend feel like a slut!" Tara said across the room into the microphone.

You felt Colby's knee brush against you subtly as you couldn't help but smile. You suddenly, had a thought, not only do you need to keep up the act of you and Colby not being together, because he wasn't ready to share you with the world, it might be fun to play with him a little bit.

"I'm not saying she's a slut, but I'm just saying... I would not say no." He smirked at you as you raised your eyebrows.

"If you keep talking like this Zach, you might have a busy schedule later on that you can't handle." You said with a smirk and a chuckle. Colbys smile quickly dropped, he wanted to say something, but knew that he couldn't.

"Oh ay!" Zach said excitedly, "don't threaten me with a good time." He smiled.

You could feel Colby's leg start to twitch as he sucked his teeth and you couldn't help but hold in a chuckle.

>>>>>>>>>>>

You were about halfway through the podcast as Sam spoke laughing, "well no, I mean I went into their room to wake them up, and I thought-"

"Wait, did you just say their room?" Zach asked his mouth open and eyebrows raised, "are you two a thing? Did you just out them?" Zach said with excitement in his voice that they were getting a juicy reveal.

"What? No!" You said quickly with a laugh as Colby shook his head looking down. After all the flirtatious comments Zach has given you all night, he wanted nothing more than to tell Zach that if he makes a move on his girl one more time, he's gonna beat his ass. He bit his lip harder as Sam spoke.

"No no, I meant like to their rooms 's'" he repeated the 's' with a laugh.

Zach dramatically sighed in relief, "oh good, because believe me, I would never climb another squirrels tree."

You tilted your head at Zach, "so I'm a tree now?"

He nodded, "well, you're mostly a tree you're just missing the one thing that I'm going to give to you..." he smirked as you looked at him confused, "some wood."

Your mouth fell open as you couldn't help but laugh. But you heard Colby whisper under his breath, "okay." He was losing his cool big time. You gave Colby a look before changing the subject quickly.

"So Tara, when are you going to come on a ghost hunt with us?" You said turning away from Zach. Colby smiled at him you. You could tell that he was still furious right now, but he was trying to relax slightly.

>>>>>>>>>>>>

At the end of the podcast and the filming of the after school special, you were sat talking with Tara as Zach headed into the kitchen to fetch you all a drink. You hadn't noticed as Colby headed in there with him.

"Dude, y/n man, wow." Zach said as he opened up the refrigerator.

Colby took a deep breath before responding, "yeah... she's beautiful." Colby was having an internal battle with himself, he wasn't ready for the fans to know.

"Beautiful? Dude, with that attitude, I wanna put her in her place, being on all fours of you know what I mean." Zach said as a joke but Colby couldn't take it anymore.

"Shut the fuck up man." Colby said sternly as Zach quickly looked at him startled.

"What?" Zach said.

"Uh... we gotta go." Colby said as he quickly walked out of the room, wanting nothing more than to beat Zach with the shit he was coming out with, flirting with you all night.

Zach looked at him shocked, "uh okay." He said as he watched him walk out the kitchen.

"Y/n, Sam, let's go." Colby said quickly.

You and Sam looked up at him noticing the look on his face. You both knew that look, that was his 'I'm gonna blow' look. "Yeah sure." Sam said quickly standing up from where he sat with Jared.

As you all said goodbye to everyone, Zach finally appeared just as you were about to leave. "Hey, y/n wait!" He shouted as you turned.

"Yeah, what's up?" You smiled.

"We're going to be going to a party tomorrow night, and I think you should come." He said with a smirk.

"Sounds fun, we'll let you know tomorrow." You suggested on behalf of you, Colby and Sam.

"Cool, you can leave your purse at home, I'll be buying you drinks." Zach said with a smirk.

"Well, I can't argue with that!" You smiled with a laugh as you hugged him to leave. "See you tomorrow." You smiled once more before turning to see Colby walking out the door, his steps almost furious.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The car ride home, Colby focused on driving, he hardly said a word. You sat in the passenger seat with Sam in the back, and as you and Sam chatted. You looked at Colby and could see how his teeth were grinding together and his jaw was flexed. "You okay baby?" You asked softly.

"Yep." Colby didn't even look at you. He just kept driving, his thumb tapping against the stirring wheel. You turned and looked at Sam confused as he shrugged his shoulders.

As soon as you reached home, Colby quickly got out of the car, the door slamming slightly louder than usual. He headed straight inside, grabbing a white claw out of the refrigerator before heading straight upstairs to your shared bedroom. You sighed looking at Sam as you both stood there, shocked and confused by his actions. He's never acted like this before.

As you reached the bedroom door you took a deep breath before stepping inside, "baby?"

Colby sat on his sofa flicking through his for you page on TikTok, sipping on his white claw. He didn't say anything.

"Colby." You said more firmly, "what's going on?"

Colby looked up almost like he couldn't believe what you were saying, "are you fucking kidding me, y/n?"

You froze as you looked at him, "I'm sorry, what?"

"You just had to flirt back with him didn't you." Colby said, annoyed.

You shook your head in disbelief, you couldn't believe what he was saying, "woah hang on, are you pissed at me right now?"

"Yes- I mean no... I just-" Colby said as he quickly stood up and began pacing around the room.

"You wanted this Colby!" You said loudly, starting to lose your patience.

"I didn't want you to make him think he had a chance with you!" Colby shouted.

"You told me, that I had to act the same way as I did before, us..." you said as you walked closer to him, "you know that I was known as an outgoing flirty person! I was just doing what you asked!" You shouted.

Colby stopped, his breathing heavy as he looked at you, "You know he told me he wanted to get you on all fours."

You swallowed hard, you didn't know that, and you didn't know what to respond.

"And I had to let him say it. All because-" Colby said as you interrupted him.

"Because you what? You're ashamed to tell everyone about me?" You said without thinking as your insecurities finally came out. You truly believed that all of this secrecy was because Colby was ashamed.

"No! Don't ever say that!" Colby shouted walking to you quickly, "it's because my fans will give you hate, and you'll leave me! And I can't have that!" Colby said as you could see tears beginning to form in his eyes. You looked at him as your expression softened. "I can't lose you, especially because of them. I love my fans but... you mean more to me than anything else in this world." Colby whole demeanour changed as he spoke, his head now looking at the floor.

"Colbs... I would never leave you." You said honestly as you reached to grab his hands. "You are everything to me, and do you think me getting death threats from some little keyboard warriors would tear me away from you? Because they wouldn't."

Colby slowly looked up to you, his eyes watering as he held in tears, "I wanted to tear Zach a new limb... I wanted to scream that you were mine on that podcast. But I was just so scared."

You reached your hand up to caress his cheek as you spoke, "Colby... i am yours. And I would love nothing more than for the world to know that."

"What if- what if you can't handle the hate?" He asked nervously.

You chuckled, "Colby. You are starting a whole other fight here if, after all this time, you think I couldn't handle it!"

Colby laughed as he hung his head, a tear falling down his cheek, "you're right. I just love you." He looked up, "more than you know."

"I know you do baby. I love you too." You said as you pulled his head so his forehead met yours.

"I'm so sorry, y/n." He said as he composed himself. Kissing your forehead gently.

"It's okay..." you said back with a smile, "to be honest. It was fun to see you get all worked up when Zach flirted with me."

Colby stepped away as he laughed, "yeah yeah, I just loved it too." He said sarcastically.

You couldn't help yourself, angry Colby definitely turned you on more than ever, "oh you loved it?" He sat down on the sofa as you spoke, picking up his white claw to have a drink. "You loved the idea of him touching me..."

Colby's attention snapped back to you as you continued, you walked over to him, as you suddenly sat down on him, straddling his lap, "his hands all over my body." You tilted your head with a smirk.

Colby threw his had back against the sofa, "y/n please. Stop." You could see him getting angry again, and you couldn't lie. You loved it. You loved how his muscles tensed and his jaw locked.

"What's wrong baby?" You leaned your body closer to his as his hands found their way to your thighs. You whispered right next to his ear, "did you love the idea of him having me on all fours..." Colby's grip on your thighs tightened as you felt his fingers dig into your skin.

"Baby... please." Colby rolled his eyes as he clenched his teeth tightly together as his breathing quickened. You suddenly took his hand and dragged it all up your body, his eyes locking on the journey you took it on as his mouth opened and his jaw fell slack.

Just as you reached up to your neck, you placed your hand over his, bending his grip to the familiar position, "his hands around my neck, choking me as he fucked-"

Suddenly Colby's grip tightened catching you off guard as he pulled your head closer to his, just inches away. "You're being very naughty y/n." There it was, that low and dark dominate voice.

You looked at him with a smirk, "and what are you going to do about it?" You teased.

Colby examined your facial features before suddenly pulling you in, closing the gap between you as your lips smashed together. The kiss instantly deep and passionate. You could feel his dick began to harden through your jeans as your body grinded against him. Suddenly Colby pulled away, gripping your throat once again, "first, I'm gonna fuck you senseless." Colby spoke his voice hoarse, "and then.. I'm going to take you to that party tomorrow and show everyone exactly who you belong to."

You smiled at him as you tucked your bottom lip between your teeth. Before you could respond, colby suddenly moved his hands to grab your ass tightly as he quickly stood up, lifting you with him. You let out an excited squeal and you seen the smirk toying with Colby's lips as he walked you over to the bed. He gave you no warning before throwing you down as your back his the sheets, your body filled with adrenaline and your panties growing wetter with each passing second. "Strip." Colby demanded as he began to remove his clothes.

You obeyed as you sat up, taking each of your items of clothing off, quickly and promptly as you watched him also undress. Once he was finished, you looked up at him, his body amazed you every single time. Your eyes examined from his face, down his torso, to his hard cock soaked with precum. "Fuck..." you breathed out as you bit your lip.

Colby suddenly grabbed your ankles, pulling you to lay flat in front of him. He slowly positioned himself above you, his body between your legs as your core ached. "You've been very bad today." Colby spoke deeply. "Are you going to be a good girl for me now?" You nodded eagerly. "Use your words, princess." Colby said as his hands ran all over your body.

"Yes baby." You whispered.

"That's more like it," Colby said as he suddenly reached his hand down your body as you squirmed beneath him. His fingers finding your clit and rubbing quickly.

"Oh fuck." You moaned as you threw your head back your body arching up against him.

Colby leaned down and began kissing along your neck, sucking and nibbling in all the right places. He suddenly slipped two fingers inside of your dripping heat as your body crumbled beneath him, "fuck yes baby, don't stop!" You felt that knot forming in your stomach.

Colby mumbled against your neck, "don't you dare cum until I say." His words intensified your pleasure as you desperately tried to hold it in, "I'm the only one who can make you feel like this... I'm the only one." You moaned louder as he spoke, Colby moved to look at you, "say it." He demanded.

You threw your head back as he curled his fingers, your orgasm just inches away, "you're- you're the only one."

"That's a good girl." Colby said as he thrusted his fingers quicker, "now cum." It was like his words were a magical spell as you instantly came all over his fingers with his command.

"Fuck Colby..." you groaned as your body became overrun with pleasure and passion. Colby gave you no time to recover.

"Roll over." He said instantly. You tried to catch your breath as your body, already feeling weak, flipped over onto your stomach.

You suddenly felt Colby's hands grip your hips as he pulled you up swiftly onto all fours, taking your breath away. You felt as his hands ran across your ass, squeezing tightly. Colby kneeled behind you getting into position. "I'm the only one who'll get to see you like this. On all fours. Wanting me."

You began to rock your body, back and forth pushing it into him, whimpering for more. "Please baby." You whined.

Colby chuckled as his hand gripped your ass even tighter, "please what baby?" Suddenly, Colby lifted his palm bringing it down hard on your ass cheek as you squealed from the sting.

"Ple- please fuck me." You begged as you wiggled your hips, desperate to feel his dick inside you.

Colby bit his lip hard, the was not other sight he loved more than you, on all fours, begging for his dick. He lined himself, "tell me who you belong to." He spoke deeply as he teased your entrance with his tip.

You gasped, "y- you baby. I belong to you." Your breath began to shake as your core burned, his teasing tip sending shocks throughout your entire body.

"Again!" Colby said more firmly as he suddenly pushed his cock into your heat, your walls stretching around him slowly. He groaned deeply.

You inhaled sharply, "argh... you, I'm- I'm yours Colby!" You cried out.

Suddenly he pulled back out quickly before pushing himself in even deeper. "Fuck. That's right baby." He moaned as he began to thrust in and out, "you're all mine."

"Fuck!" You cried out as he began to pound into you, "yes yes yes."

"Fuck you feel so good." Colby groaned as the feel of you surrounding him, made him weak at the knees. "Such a little slut, just for me." He groaned deeply as he brought up his hand smacking you hard against the ass once again.

"Fuckkk..." you groaned deeply as his hand slid up your back and into your hair, gripping it in a ponytail. He tugged pulling your head backwards and you could feel as your walls began to clench around him.

"Are you gonna cum again, baby?" Colby asked as he continued to thrust, his grip on your hair growing tighter and tighter.

"Yes- yes fuck..." you moaned loudly as the knot in your stomach formed and you felt your your legs being to shake.

Colby felt your walls clenching around him, "just a little longer baby, I'm almost there. You have to cum with me, okay?"

You tried to speak but words wouldn't come out. Suddenly Colby's hand slapped your ass once again as he pulled your head back further, "okay?!" He grunted.

"Yes baby yes." You cried out, desperate to feel that highball over again.

Colby pounded harder than ever as both moaned out, shouting a string of curse words, "fuck, I love you so fucking much."

"I- I love- y-you too." You could barely speak, "please let me cum!" You shouted as your eyes rolled to the back of your head.

"Fuck..." Colby's thrusts grew quicker and even more powerful, "now baby!" He groaned deeply as you released, your orgasm hitting you as Colby's dick twitched inside you, followed by his hot cum filling you up. "Fuck y/n..." he moaned out, his feel deep and low.

You both panted out of breath, as Colby slowly pulled out, his cum following along, spilling out of you. He bit his lip at the sight. "Are you okay?" Colby asked instantly. You nodded slowly before collapsing down onto the bed.

>>>>>>>>>>>

You and Colby had laid together, your head on his chest as he planted many kisses on your head, his fingers tickling up and down your arm as you rested it against his torso.

"I'm sorry, but if me flirting with other guys gets me a pounding like that..." you said with a chuckle.

"No baby." Colby laughed, "if you want fucking like that... just ask." He said looking at you with a smile. "No more flirting." He said as he booped your nose with his index finger.

You smirked as you looked back down listening to his heart beat. "Listen..." Colby said as you nodded, he took a deep breath before continuing, "I... I want to make a video on my personal channel..."

You looked up at him, "oh really? It's been so long, what about?"

Colby took a moment before speaking, just looking into your eyes as a smile began to appear on his face, "you." You were taken back by his comment as your eyes widened. "I want to tell the world, that I am in love with the most beautiful girl."

You felt an uncontrollable smile beginning to form on your face.

"After tomorrow night though... first, I need to rub in Zach's face, just how fucking stunning you are on all fours." He said with a smirk.

Your mouth fell wide as you playfully hit him on the chest. He laughed as you joined him as he pulled your body on top of his, "I'm ready, y/n. I'm ready for whatever they want to throw at us." He said as he moved the hair out of your face.

You bit your lip before speaking in a whisper, "bring it." You both smiled as you connected your lips once again in a deep and passionate kiss.

——————————————————————————————————————————————————

Authors note: this one was a bit more intense, I hope you liked it! Requests are open! Xx

[yuurei20]

hi ! do we know whats considered easy / hard magic ? as in like what is considered beginner level magic and what is considered malleus draconia level magic

Hello hello, thank you so much for this question!

I went through the game and collected all examples of non-unique, non-artifact, non-flight-magic that I could find, and there was a lot! So much that this answer is going to be separated into four parts m(_ _)m Apologies for any inconvenience!

First are the magics that seem to be easier than others: Color-Change Magic, Fireworks, Flames, Ice, Levitation, Basic Construction, Cooking

Color-Change Magic:

Sebek describes color-change magic as being extremely basic, saying that is is one of the first things that human mages learn upon entering school.

Floyd calls it a "baby magic," and Vil tells Jade a story about using it to change the color of his and his father's clothing to avoid paparazzi shortly after he enrolled at NRC and before he was able to do more complex spells.

Cater asks Ace, Deuce and Grim to use color-change magic on their first day of school before they have attended a single class, apparently assuming that they would already know how to do it, but Deuce and Grim both struggle (as does Ace in a vignette).

Fireworks:

Grim is capable of creating an impressive fireworks display, as are Deuce and Ruggie, and none of the three are known for being particularly adept students or mages.

Flames:

Jamil talks about using fire magic when he was still "a literal child," and both Grim and Epel also use fire magic in the game.

Ice:

Deuce seems capable of using ice magic, despite still being a first-year student.

Levitation:

Deuce also seems fairly adept at levitation, and Kalim says that getting a parrot feather to float was the first magic he ever did.

Levitation might have been an early form of magic for Epel as well: he says that he was moving crates of apples with magic prior to enrolling at NRC.

Grim struggles with levitating chairs in a vignette, but this seems to be less of an issue with the magic itself and more a problem with precision (more on this later 👀).

Crowley recommends that the students eject Magicam Monsters via levitation during Halloween, so he may expect that they are all capable of using it.

Simple Construction:

Ace creates a surfboard with ease during the Stitch event, so simple construction projects may not be too high level.

Cooking:

Not known for being one of the more talented students at the school, Kalim still seems to be able to cook with magic.

Uncertain: Summoning, Wind and Attacks

Summoning:

Deuce has been summoning cauldrons since before enrolling at NRC. Ace attempts to mimic him in Book 3 but says, "summoning magic ain't my strongest suit," so it is possible that this is just a particular strength of Deuce's rather than an overall easier magic (or maybe a particular weakness for Ace?).

Wind:

Ace has been using wind magic since the prologue, but it is a little unclear if it is a simpler magic for beginners overall or if Ace just happens to be particularly adept at it. It is possible that Jamil is the only other person we have seen use wind magic.

Attacks:

Even the magic-school-dropout in Book 5 is capable of using magic for attacks, so basic "attack magic" seems to be a fairly simple ability.

But the attacks we see in the game tend to be vague! Are the characters using things like wind, water and fire and it just isn't being specified? Or is there something else going on?

[a-twistedheartslonging]

Floyd/Reader Mafia AU

Injuries, masochism on Floyd's end, stitching wounds, mentions of violence, no sex but Floyd is weird and busts a nut.

They/Them used for the reader.

Floyd is going to get himself killed…young too.

They couldn't help but think it as they kneeled between the needlessly long legs of said man, seated on a well-worn leather stool. The make shift surgery room was quiet save for the sound of their shared breaths and the dripping of the near by sink's leaky faucet. 

From what they heard from the others the job was supposed to be something simple. “Just in and out.”

I really shouldn't be surprised. It made sense Floyd would be the one to complicate things…again. He’s a smart and clever person, they knew this well but…boredom can be dangerous when it comes to certain people.

They couldn't help but let out a tired sigh.

Of course, he would be the one to turn it into a shoot-out.

And now they are picking buckshot and glass of out Floyd's bleeding side. His face would tighten up in pain for a moment, showing off sharp teeth, before relaxing slightly and letting out a giggle.

Floyd always did seem to enjoy the strangest things. 

They look from their work for a moment and into his eyes, they see that manic spark that always seemed to glow brighter whenever he saw them.

Floyd…wanted them, they knew that. Why he did? They really didn't know. They weren't self sure like like him or the others, not strong, or particularly interesting. Hell they weren't even a real doctor, just a medical school dropout. 

Not breaking eye contact he spoke. “Fuck Doc, it hurts.” He let out a groan before a grin becgain to spread on his face.“I gotta make sure to kill that fella next time.”

They quickly looked away, bringing their eyes back to their work. 

Aaah I really hope I don’t have to see when it happens.

Nervously they picked out another piece of glass, being as gentle as they could with the jagged tear in his flesh. 

They heard a hiss coming from him when removing this shard before dropping it into a metal container with the others. A large hand suddenly gripped their shoulder and pulled them up some, causing them to let out a startled noise.

“Eh, Doc, can't ya be more careful? It might leave a scar.”

They tried to keep neutral it but couldnt help but make a face at that.

Oh please. They knew full well he liked his scars, he even thought they made him look cool. They lost count of how many times he would show them off and insisted they touch them and…he keeps calling them that. He must really like making fun of them.

“Stop…stop calling me that.” 

“Huh? Nah, don't think so. You're my cute little Doctor Shrimp, always patching me up.”

They look over his shoulder to stare at the wall as he speaks, eye contact would be too much. Especially with their position. Being between a grown man's legs certainly wasn't helping with their anxiety, nor did they make it a habit to be around men in such a way.

“You ignoring me Doc? That aint very nice.” Floyd muttered.

They shook their head, they weren't. 

“Then why don't you-”

The interrupted “I, uhm, I need to stitch your wounds now Floyd.” They spoke quickly. Whatever Floyd wanted them to do, they really shouldn't. Best to finish this as soon as they can.

And so they stuck the needle into him.

Floyd yelped. His body twitched and he squeezed his eyes shut as the needle moved through his flesh. In and out it went, sewing his skin together. 

“Worst pain I've ever felt, Doc.” He said, but he was lying through his teeth. How could this be worse than everything else he's been through? Shot, stabbed, and even suffered through broken bones for god's sake…all things they took care of for him.

They pulled at the thread and Floyed trembled, high spots of red rising in his cheeks. With each stab of the needle, his body shivered. 

As they dragged the wound shut, a different kind of groan tumbled out. 

They stopped at hearing the sound, heat rushing to their face. Without meaning to, they brushed against his thigh, and Floyd went stiff.

They looked down and saw the state of Floyd's pants. He was hard.

The pain. Jeez, he was getting…off on the pain. It was either the pain, the attention, or both. Jade had the weirdest reactions to everything. 

The air around them turned hot. They were sweating, but their hands were cold and clammy under thier surgical gloves. Whatever Floyd thought this was, whatever he was feeling, they really shouldn’t encourage it.

“Go on, Doc, finish the job.” Floyd said, his tone taunting. When they looked at him, his expression was heated and almost…desperate. He looked so wrecked.

The sight of Floyd, his sounds, how pathetic he was right now…a wave of arousal went through them, followed by shame and further anxiety. They felt like thier were going to pass out.

I need to leave and soon.

They pulled the final stitch closed, finishing it.

With shaky hands they fumbled for the rubbing alcohol, letting the cap fall to the ground. Staring at the blood they hwsitated for a moment before carefully emptying the entire bottle onto the wound.

They poured it until the bottle was empty and tossed it away to be cleaned later, the plastic bottle bouncing off the floor. 

They didn't truly want to hurt Floyd but they needed that heated expression to go away.

Floyd made a choked noise, sounding almost pathetic, and arched off the examination table. Rivulets of alcohol flowed down his skin, mixing with his blood. It dripped down his side, his stomach, and past the vee of his hips, soaking into his blood-stained pants.

He threw his head back, convulsing with pain. His mouth opened to utter a broken cry before falling backward, back hitting the examination table and body going limp.

They let out a gasp. “Oh…oh god.” Eye's locking onto a new wet patch at the front of his pants. 

They...really shouldn’t have expected anything different. Floyd had made his…want of them clear. In his strange mind pain was just another outstretched hand to him. Part of them knew nothing they could do would dissuade him. It scared them but also…made them feel something else they really... shouldn't. 

Floyd's mismatched eyes found them again, looking up at them half-lidded. With a smile, he licked his lips with a long inhuman tongue.

With a trembling hand, they reached for the door and quickly left the room.

[fireflyskie]

analyzing the updated map we have of elmville (including the ads from the folding map for sale on dropout's store, that iirc aren't included on the map used/shown onscreen)- i've seen a couple of people already point out the copperkettle real estate ad which is obviously huge- it seemed pretty clear her family was upper class and well off but now this pretty much confirms it. and maybe it's just because it's not relevant to the main storyline i'll also mention that i couldn't find any sort of copperkettle real estate office marked on the map. probably not huge but just something i noticed.

but i also wanted to mention a couple other things i noticed. for one, the "ring of glazing" not only is a place i don't think we've seen mentioned by name yet that's marked on the map but also get's an ad on the map, making me think this will eventually come into play later on. may not be of huge relevance and this might just become a hangout place for the bad kids, but just something to keep in mind. also the ring of glazing happens to be located right next to the church of helio, we'll see if that means anything or not later as well.

and finally- the feywinders camp is marked on the map and is right next to shimmerstone lake, where we know lucy frostblade was last seen. i have a feeling pretty soon we'll end up here and maybe whoever is in the camp can help out with learning about lucy.

probably missed a few things but i didn't see nearly enough people talking about any of this stuff so i decided to say something!!

[simplydnp]

Do you think the recording of TIT (bc it has to be getting recorded at some point tbh) will be a dvd release or a youtube upload this time around? I forget if Dan said any specific reason why WAD ended up being free on YT, but I feel like after setting that precedent, there's almost no going back. Ofc, there is the precedent of the two actual dnp tours being dvd or YT Red/Premium releases, but do you have any thoughts?

oh anon i'm so happy you asked. bc i did so much research for this about WAD before we knew what would happen with it.

so. the problem with dvds is storage capacity. with TIT being 2 hours, that is a lot of footage to put on a singular dvd at the resolution that they'd currently want to. dvds come in 2 sizes: 4.7 gb and 8.5 gb. you can fit a 2 hr movie onto a single layer (4.7) but any longer, and you need the double layer (8.5). thus, TIT would have to be on a double layer, unless they don't plan on including anything else except the 2 hr recording. a dvd can't play high resolution footage, only standard definition (480p). so there'd be a picture quality difference.

this is where blu-rays come in. they can store and play 1080p footage. they also hold significantly more space (a single layer blu-ray can hold 25 gb, a double 50 gb). part of the trade-off here though is that higher resolution footage takes up more space. a single layer can store 2.25 hr of HD video; a double 3 hrs. they could get away with a single layer, and that includes room for 2 hours of standard definition BTS video.

problem is, not everyone has a blu-ray player (not like everyone has dvd players either). but the main issue is that DVD players won't play blu-rays--and this includes disc drives for laptops and PC's. you need a special external driver to do it.

we'd be wading into contracts and companies being interested in selling physical copies, and given how discs in general are sort of becoming obsolete, i would be surprised if they put it on disc.

our next option would be streaming. i don't really see them wanting to attach it to any larger corporation--especially given they're physical media guys. the thought of just losing something simply because a streaming service doesn't want it anymore, or the company goes under, would be enough to keep them away from that.

people pitched the idea of nebula or dropout, but i don't see them posting a single video on nebula and then nothing else. and since i don't see them as patreon guys, i don't think they'd want to do incentives for subscription style stuff. dropout would be more of a possibility, but they'd probably want to do more with dropout in terms of guest starring before entirely handing their baby over, y'know? like hank did a whole d20 season before he did his special there.

i do think they might just upload it to dapg. genuinely. because of what happened with WAD--both rights wise and precedent wise. but also, could be extremely good for them if they can actually monetize it. their longer videos on dapg do very well, and since WAD happened before TIT was fully ironed out, i bet they've included the prospect of doing so into their scripting, so it has the ability to be monetized on their channel. plus, the desire to make it accessible for everyone (even though they are trying to tour in more countries). depending on how that goes, it may be delayed in being released online.

a lot of technical talk but i am so glad you asked anon, i love logistics discussion!

[randomfoggytiger]

React: A Late-Canon Reviler Gives the Revival a Try (Weremonster), Part III

Here we go, first comedic episode of the Revival. 

…Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay…

Part I (My Struggle I) and Part II (Founder's Mutation).

Let's go!

MULDER AND SCULLY MEET THE WEREMONSTER

Why are we starting with adults huffing spray paint.

…Darin wrote two episodes with people getting high off of the strangest substances. 

And that’s not a lot, but it’s odd that it happened twice. 

Why do monsters always run towards the people or object or whatever they’re trying to scare or escape from? Like, what if he got surprise-shanked by two high, high school dropouts? (It’s not out of the realm of possibility.)  

No self-preservation instinct, tsk tsk. 

This dude’s okay, no that dude, woah that dude might not be okay. 

…Random paper bag for the high man to stress-blow into. 

Oh, look, a writer remembering the lore. 

How quaint. 

(Sidenote: Darin did not remember the lore, and kinda prided himself on not keeping up with all of it. But that won’t matter to me if he writes a good one-off.)

Mulder’s older now so he can’t stretch his neck to throw pencils at the ceiling. I guess. I suppose. I supposition. I presume.  

Kumail’s in this one? 

…’Kay. 

“Mulder?” Yay, that’s Scully-- “What are you doing to my poster?” And that’s Gillian. 

Mulder’s recounting all his failures in an upbeat, presentational way ‘cuz he’s wooing his girl. At least neither of them act like they’re on the precipice of death, that’s neato. 

Oh, look, Scully can smile. Remember how she did that twice in My Struggle I? Good times. 

Why’s her shirt look like it’s from Walmart?

Forgot this… pencil-scratch material was popular around the mid twenty-teens.

Can I forget it again…? …No? Do they leave it behind in Season 10? 

“--Going through these cases with fresh, if not wiser eyes.” Well, I don’t know about that. 

Also, is that a dig at his “wiseness” or a tongue-in-cheek joke at Mulder’s pat-on-the-back nature? (Lemme rewind.) Backpat coupled with epiphany. 

“Mulder? Have you been taking your meds?” 

…

….

…..

What, did they expect a laugh out of me? It just annoyed me because of the whole “Mulder’s depression” trauma I suffered for two episodes. 

But at least Darin’s trying to remind us that’s an on-going issue (despite CC implying it doesn’t bother Mulder anymore in My Struggle I and Morgan?-- or Wong-- reinforcing that idea in his “bitterly healed and chakras open” Founder’s Mutation ending.) 

Mulder’s a middle-aged man who just got back to the office and is wondering if anything he’s accomplished… well, if he’s accomplished anything. 

A valid question in these dark times. 

And by dark times, we all know what me and my chocolate-addled, My Struggle-PTSDed brain are referring to. 

Mulder certainly does:

“Maybe it’s time to put away childish things-- the Sasquatches, the Mothmen, and… Jackalopes.” 

Okay, well that’s rude-- I always wanted to see a jackalope case. 

Mulder spent one weekend not getting a community response to his latest fanfic and let the dark thoughts take over. 

All joke’s aside, this is an… it’s an okay scene. It’s weighty enough to be taken seriously, you feel for this clone of Mulder’s, you hope he gets his Mr. Incredibles act together--

Oh, wait, he already did by now. 

I guess. 

We skipped the traincar training montage while he was getting back into FBI ready shape. 

…

.....

.......

You’re welcome. 

On another aside, Skinner just pulled all the strings only for Mulder to have an identity crisis after one weirdo case. 

Man’s been carrying everyone on his back for decades with no rest and his newly recruited, depressed-but-not-depressed-depending-on-the-writer, domesticated-feral-animal agent might just trounce back out of the FBI and go wall up somewhere to mope. 

At least he’s not wandering off to take illegal substances to satisfy his curiosity. 

No. 

That’s saved for another episode. 

Scully brushes over Mulder’s confession to say, “we got another case, and this one’s ALSO got a monster in it.” 

And that makes him happy. 

Oooooooooooooooooooooooookay. 

*scribbling notes for later observation*

Darin has a favorite and that is OG Scully. And I will give it to him, she actually sounds happy for once. 

ALSO, I noticed your smoker voice is gone, GILLIAN, unless you’re mumbling or using The Sad Voice ™. I noticed. 

Scully’s insisting this is a monster case while Mulder mopes around the woods and says it’s a mountain lion. 

…I’m NOT gonna nitpick. I’m NOT-- OKAY, so, rewind time. 

Older Mulder-- as in the 90s Mulder-- would have at least been amused by Scully’s antics and followed her around for the fun of it, unless he felt used and abused, i.e. Host and Folie a Deux. Here is not the case. 

Further, he was intrigued in the basement but is now kind of… dismissive. 

Which is. It’s not a big problem, it doesn’t stand out, and it wouldn’t be something I’d clock except I’m very disgruntled and burned and grumpy about the past three days. 

However. 

Let’s continue. 

 Mulder’s Patriarchy Pants are making him do the Marilyn Monroe wiggle again. However, like a virus, middle-aged wedgie crotch has infected Scully, too; and the two of them are squeak-squonking ‘round the forest. 

They do say marriage slowly turns you into each other. 

Mulder sloughing off the naked guy in the crime scene pics as “Well, maybe he’s a nudist.” 

Darin. 

I know what you’re doing here. 

Give Mulder the doubting identity crisis and have his faith transformed. A reverse Clyde Bruckman, if you will. I get it. But you gotta admit, "a nudist" is a pretty weak rationalization, let alone a comeback. 

“That’s how I’d like to go out.” That saved it a little.

“The uniqueness of the wound, Mulder, implies a human element.”

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Scully, I gave up profiling before I gave up monsters.” WHAT? LAST WEEK?

YOUR CREDENTIALS AS A PROFILER GOT YOU HIRED BACK TO THE FBI--

Pause, pause, pause. 

He’s probably being tongue-in-cheek. He gave up monsters this morning and profiling last night. 

…If he’s not, what’s Mulder gonna do? Take up residence under Skinner’s desk? Have his bald benefactor feed him pencil shavings between meetings? 

“You seen one serial killer, you seen ‘em all.” Quite literally, no. 

I am. 

Puzzled. 

It’s not offensive-- WAIT, NO. I’m being emotionally manipulated by a softer Mulder and more upbeat Scully, youcan’ttakemealive--

“Mulder, I can see you’re going through a questioning phase of some sort--”

You don’t say. 

From bar to basement. From closet to forest. From Founder’s Mutation to… Weremonster Investigation.

Scully points out they need to help the victims.

Mulder: “Okay, well when you put it that way, Scully, but mark my words--”

I’m not getting the essence of Mulder here, gang. 

I got him for, like, three whiffs in My Struggle I and once at the end of Founder’s Mutation, but he’s MIA here so far. 

…Perhaps my “clone Mulder” crack in a previous paragraph kinds fits. 

Hmmm. If he continues to be Mulder-adjacent, I shall name him… I was gonna say ‘Charlie’, then remembered that’s Scully’s brother’s name. The CC name rot is infecting me. 

The streetwalker-on-crack scene was amusing, but not really funny. 

OH, MAN, JUST GOT JUMP-SCARED BY KUMAIL, OHMYWORD. 

Also, that was a weird cut-- Scully opens her mouth to say something, Mulder looks at her, CUT, Kumail face. 

The director was meaning to imply Mulder stopped Scully’s attempted defense with a look, but it only made it seem like one of them said something so cancellable the editors drop-kicked that bit from the final recording. 

I haven’t laughed once .

Welp, Kumail ran off after playing a scared animal control officer for three seconds. 

Pardon, but what was the purpose of that scene?

This kinda feels like a play: in this set piece, the hooker whacks a creature with a purse; in this set piece, Kumail gets spooked by the agents and runs off after hearing a roar; still in this set piece, Mulder whips out his phone and starts… hitting… the… picture… button. 

My thought process:

It's dark at night. 

2. I hear a ROAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAR. 

3. I'm pulling out my gun, not my camera. 

You know why?

There are more tigers in North American than the world combined. 

Just sayin’. 

SCULLY, REINSTALL THE SAFETY FEATURE IN YOUR KEN, PLEASE. 

JUST. PUT. THE PHONE. ON. VIDEO. MODE. 

Oh, wait, he’s a tech goombus who doesn’t know how to take videos. 

THEY SAW A DEAD BODY--

…

THEY SAW A DEAD BODY THROUGH HIS PHOTOS INSTEAD OF NOTICING THE CORPSE RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM?

I’m not mad because this isn’t as mean-spirited as the previous two episodes, but that’s just. That’s just.  

That. 

Wait, how’d they get from Mulder’s camera setting to his photo collage, without swiping or going there or…? He was taking rapid-fire pictures, Scully looks over, says, “What’s that?”, and the camera cuts to a picture that has to be in the phone’s gallery. …What happened-- you know what? Never mind. 

Mulder runs off INTO THE DARK with ONLY HIS CAMERA OUT while Scully is yards behind him WITH THE GUN. 

Solid decision making there. 

My man, if this were a tiger (we’ve already seen it’s the horny Lizardman) or a cougar in heat (well, give Scully a few episodes), you’d probably be very dead. 

I’ve named Mulder-Clone: Ken. He’s cute, he’s having an identity crisis, and he’s as dumb as a rock. 

This fits unintentionally well with his Patriarchy Pants (though they’re wearing him, not of the other way around.) 

Kumail’s here and they both scared each other and now they’re hyper-Ken-focusing on Ken’s wonky phone app and stuff. 

Barbie-- clone Scully-- hears Ken and Kumail screaming their lungs out after getting jumped by Lizardman and only NOW notices Mulder had Marilyn Monroe shimmied off. 

Imagine if this were the end of Mulders career: questioning his life’s purpose, losing the battle to technology, and T-posing, dead, on the ground. 

Ken sounds completely fine when Scully runs up to him asking if he's okay. No wooziness. No nothing. (Kumail, too.)

“Okay. I quit.” Smarty Mr. K. over there (not Ken, but you knew that.)

Monster’s a-running, and Formerly-Mulder springs up and races off with Scully. 

What did that jumpscare accomplish, narratively? What did any of these jumpscares accomplish, narratively?

I know we’re only 10 minutes in, but it’s feeling a little too… scene-scene-scene-scene-scene, jumpscare-jumpscare-jumpscare, phone-phone-phone-phone-phone. T-pose. That was a shakeup, I guess. 

Ken was going to question the guy on the pot (who is, indeed, the Lizardman, btw) but notices Scully’s face and closes the door and walks away with her. 

Strangely, that and the basement are the only scenes, thus far, where Ken was most like Mulder. 

Scully, do you regret putting a battery pack in your Ken doll now?

This interaction is still Ken-not-Mulder, but Scully is kinda recognizable. 

Just realized. Mulder replaced his slideshow with a phone. Now he can inflict them on his partner even in the midst of her autopsies. 

No one is safe. 

THERE’S A MULDER MOMENT, I ACTUALLY SMILED! 

And now it’s gone. 

“So now you’re saying you were attacked by a six-foot horny toad?”

“Woah, let’s keep this in the realm of natural sciences, shall we?”

Um. 

That’s not a Mulder line. 

That’s not even a Ken line, I don’t think. 

Need to think up a new name for Mulder, I guess. 

I figured it out. David’s attacking the lines too vigorously rather than letting them breathe. I’m sure he’ll get there. 

Or Mulder and Scully were swallowed up by a black hole the second after they exchanged “Scratchy beard” niceties. Because that’s the last I’ve seen of them. 

But honestly? Clone. Lives. Matter. 

So, I shall fully support Clone Mulder and Clone Scully living their truth, expressing their lived experiences, and digging through each other’s brains like hairless capuchin monkeys dressed in skin-tight leotards.  

I was gonna say “horny, hairless capuchin monkeys” but I’ve not got a LICK of sexual tension between them this whole time. 

They do say married couples transition from goose-pimply “honeymoon love” to matured, knowing passion; but all I’m getting is the “knowing” and none of the “passion”.  

Right after my point, the two exchanged a little upbeat moment. I’ll give it that; but the passion’s still not there.

WAIT, this episode has the fox-in-the-wall scene? 

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 

I thought that was the doppelganger one. 

‘Kay. Color me intrigued. 

…WHAT is going on with these random, “comedic” scenes?

Desk clerk yells "Monster!", Mulder runs in, guy’s shaking over a bottle, makes up a story, tells Mulder to go back to his room “or I’ll kill ya.” Mulder nods and walks off. 

I’m not getting the fun of this episode, but I’m only 12 minutes in. So. 

Mulder’s snooping in someone else’s room. 

Mulder took someone else’s meds. 

Mulder found an animal head with hollow eyes that led him to a secret room behind the motel room. 

Heh, get it, he’s a Fox looking through fox eyes at Scully. Get it. 

I’m remembering bits from DD and GA’s commentary and how they were cheering him on in this moment. Someone should’ve told them this is Clone!Mulder. 

More proof this man finds burrows in the unlikeliest places:

The manager says he installed those peeping tom hallways after 9/11, and yes that’s being used as an excuse but there’s supposed to be a joke behind it, right?

For instance: Rocky from Jose Chung’s From Outer Space took some political hits, but the jokes were funny and well-written. Here, they're either badly written or… someone’s directing these actors astray. And I know Clone!Mulder and innkeeper man are good actors because they’re doing their best selling this material. Things still feel wonky, unfortunately. 

Mulder’s getting objectified again, Your Honor. He got closeted last episode, he’s “questioning” this episode, and he’s being stared at in his speedo. And he didn't mind one bit.

Innkeeper man’s got closets of his own, too. *badum tssssss*

HOW did Mulder’s phone get a picture of the Lizardman in his human form earlier? In the split-second he and Scully opened the potty stall before turning and continuing their search? I'll even grant that... but a CLEAR one?

Whatever, whatever, whatever. 

Clone!Mulder’s patched his disbelief during the insomnia upgrade.

Clone!Scully unleashed a beast but still wakes up and stays up to hear him ramble. (Here’s the “my Mulder” line and the could-have-been-a-Knick’s-T-shirt moment.)

I do have another nitpick: why is Mulder diatribing here-- trying to convince Scully it’s a werewolf when she’s been saying monster or creature from the get-go? Is it the “werewolf” claim that he thinks she’ll rebut? Or? 

I do like: Scully about to answer, then nearly smiling when Mulder cuts her off. Brilliant touch. Hats off to GA for that second of goodness. 

“‘It defies every known law of nature’-- exactly, Scully, every known law of nature!”

Mulder, she’s agreed with this point since Herrenvolk. She kinda did a mini speech about it. 

He doesn’t know how it came to be, but all he’s saying is, “it’s a MONSTER.” 

She’s ready to go back to the Unremarkable House already, Mulder. She just needed you to nerd out over monsters. 

Which… isn’t that actually the most Scully thing you’ve ever heard? Think about it: she wants to leave the Conspiracy behind, it’s eating her alive, she’s so sad and yadda yadda yadda. Darin says, “Hold up, this girl loves Mulder’s rants and raves” and makes her poke and prod him out of despair with a juicy creature case. And then (hopefully) reaps the benefits. 

Girl’s got a mission. 

And also, this doesn’t mesh at all with the Revival’s canon, but when has that stopped this crazy trainwreck? 

Why’s Scully calling him watered-down-for-FOX’s-approval crazy when she’s been saying creature this whole time?  Does she just… like arguing him? …That’s a stupid question, does she like arguing with him this much? …Again, that’s a--

Mulder spouts his theory, admits he stole stuff from another guy’s room, and tells Scully they can use his meds to track him down. “Well, that sounds like a good investigative plan.” In other words: “And you do so good at beach.” 

Now Mulder wants to go peeping around the motel, for the lols. 

Ken energy, I’m just saying. 

Alsooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not Mulder, sorry. He’d be curious, intrigued, perhaps roughishly amused by peeping tom corridors; but he’s never taken the time to search places inch-by-inch, top-to-bottom unless they directly related to the case. Is this a nitpick? Probably. But he’s flinging around broken FBI regulations left-and-right, carelessly reckless of all the rules and laws he’s breaking. Sure, Mulder’s a lawbreaker; but not to the extent that it would violate civilian rights. And even if it were fine, he’d be running off to the next lead instead of sticking around to snuffle through a useless one. 

The “Lizardman stabbing himself in the mirror with green glass to break the curse, not realizing it’s him” story doesn’t… really…. Darin Morgan’s writing crackfic at this point. 

Impotency jokes. 

Ahhh, the middle ages: you end up questioning things about yourself or having to pop pills one way or another. 

The comedy keeps failing, I think, because it’s trying too hard. This episode feels like a play (did I mention that earlier?) with dramatic pauses and etc. etc. Not really X-Filesy. 

The psychologist prescribes Mulder a pill (because Mulder believes the Lizardman’s a lizard man), then pops the pill himself the second Mulder leaves… which meansssss he believed, too? Though he doesn’t? 

I get he was supposed to be a crazy psychologist (ala Dr. Spiegel during the Johnny Depp trials), but, again, the comedy flopped. 

“Horny toad lizard man” works at a smart phone shop OF COURSE. Because that’s soooooooooooo clever! Modernization, crises of humanity and identity, get it??? 

Weremonster’s not offensive, but it’s… I’m gonna be honest, it’s not clever, either. 

Why does Scully wear her shirt open almost past her bra line now? Not shaming her, but that doesn’t seem a very Scully thing to do. I don’t know, maybe I’m overthinking things. It was just her style, her way, her self-expression; and it feels smudged and lost in this version of Clone!Scully. 

At least she seems more naturally Scully, this episode. Which means she can only be natural in the funny episodes, huh. 

Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. 

Mulder has a gold car? Mulder rented a gold car? There’s a gold car here that serves as middle-age-over-compensation commentary. 

Mulder chastises Scully about the danger of approaching a dangerous suspect without backup then runs off, get it, ‘cuz that’s FUNNY. 

I must have a heart of coal because I’m bored instead of tickled. It’s waaaaaaay better than being angry and tired, though, so. 

“I’ll take it” is giving this experience too many brownie points, so I’ll use “I’m resigned”, instead. 

Here we go, the part where the Lizardman voices Darin Morgan’s gripes with work culture (and I say that because Darin himself said he only works because he has to pay the bills. Which, fair enough, I suppose.)

Wait. Did Lizo Man go from a generic British to an Australian accent? 

Guy tries to stage a cop suicide by green glass at Mulder’s hands and…. I’m sorry, this is kind of a fever dream. I can’t even unpack that logic for some bizarre reason. 

Let me unpack that logic for some bizarre reason: 

Psychologist tells Lizardman the story about breaking the curse by getting stabbed in the appendix. 

It involves the realization that the Werelizard stares at himself in the mirror and realizes he’s the monster. 

Does… does that prevent him from committing suicide? The psycologist’s instructions remain murky. 

Lizardman’s fed up with existence. Decides enough’s enough and goes back to the cemetery. 

Mulder walks up and tries to get him to unburden himself. 

Lizardman tries to bait him into cop homicide by green bottle. 

…How in the world did he think that would happen. 

MULDER. LOST. HIS GUN. Which is probably a wink-and-nod by Darin of the good ol’ days when Mulder lost it constantly. 

This Lizard’s gotta know who Mulder is at this point, and that Mulder would track him down and find him. That’s my prediction. 

Mulder agrees to kill Guy Mann. Guy Mann calls him the only nice human he’s ever met. Of course cut back to Mulder’s face as he insists Guy tell him the whole story, first. 

Scully has no idea where Mulder is, does she. 

I knew the psychologist’s “other client thought he was a werewolf” would play into this. Heavy-handedly. 

The stupid, perfectly placed bush when Lizardman woke the next morning. I can’t even be mad at it. 

He took the not-nudist’s clothes, that explains things. 

The dialogue’s also kind of… juuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuvenile. 

Lizardman leaped over the natural order of human life by talking mad game, and Darin glosses over the details with “humans are the best at that.” Ooooooookay. 

Nope, that doesn’t work for me. Not if Lizardman joined a tech shop and got promoted to manager the next day. 

I feel like Darin hasn’t hung around iphone shops much. 

HE COMMITTED A MURDER BECAUSE HE ATE A COW IN A HAMBURGER. Really.

Was this lizard a vegetarian????? Because animals constantly break their own eating rituals if they’re hungry (deer eating baby birds, rabbits, and even human corpses, for example.) I doubt a creature of that size and strength existed only on vegetation, especially if there were food shortages during the natural course of its life (which happens in the wild.) 

But NITPICK ASIDE, he ate his first cow. 

…Why didn’t he go find a head of lettuce and chow down on it? Then realize he’s missing something, eat the chicken from the salad, then go on a meat-eating binge? That would have been kinda funny. 

Oh, he’s an insectivore. 

So, he’s a meat eater. 

And he--, uuuuuuuuuuuuugh--

Dude’s a protein eater via the carcases of other living things, not plants. 

Dude didn’t have consciousness until he woke a man. 

So it wouldn’t have mattered to Dude if he ate a cow, anyway, because he’s a carnivore and humans are omnivores. 

So what gives? 

“No one likes insects. Not even other insects.” SO INSECTS HAVE EMOTIONS, LIKES, AND PREFERENCES. YET, YOU ATE THEM. I don’t see sound reasoning for an ethical or moral stance here, Guy Mann. 

Lizardman spent the rest of the day helplessly watching… porn. Just couldn’t help himself. Uh huh. 

Dude, you were an animal YESTERDAY, with no association to human morays or social etiquette or guidelines or….

OH. That’s how the Scully scene plays into this. 

But then that scene’ll be shot because it’s played for jokes-- males wanting to overexaggerate their knotch count-- rather than a very real reality of animals with zero morals when it comes to their procreation habits. 

Let’s see if I’m right. 

Guys, this would have been funnier and-- there’s that word again-- clever if Guy Mann lived like a caveman for a few days then overheard some humans talk about job, bills, and etc. spiraled, thinking he would be stuck as a half-human forever, and resigned himself to the fate of every other human (through the lens of his lizard brain, heh.) 

It’s not supposed to be taken seriously, I know, but Darin always wrote plausibility into his previous scripts. This one feels like he didn’t try hard enough. 

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO wow. 

Guy went to a "witch doctor"-- oops, “a psychologist”-- but stopped taking his prescribed meds because “it just clouded my thoughts” TO WHICH MULDER NODS IN UNDERSTANDING. 

Mulder gets it because, as an Oxford educated psychologist, he could diagnose the other psychologist (who shouldn’t be prescribing meds) as a wack job. 

Mulder stopped taking his meds. 

Which is what Scully asked if he’d done in the intro. 

Which means his depression’s gone away without his meds. 

Which means his depression’s either CURED, BOOM, or he never needed meds to begin with. 

Which means Scully misdiagnosed him. 

And left. 

OR Mulder stopped taking them and was on depression med withdrawal in the beginning of this episode, hence his melancholia…? 

‘Tis a mess. 

Only time to be happy as a human is to spend time in the company of a non-human-- YOU’RE AN ANIMAL. YOU’RE NOT A HUMAN. YOU JUST LOOK LIKE ONE FOR TWELVE HOURS A DAY. 

Also, Daggoo. Yup. There he is. Uhuh. 

Scully was robbed of her first dog by an overgrown lizard and robbed from another overgrown lizard in return. 

Daggoo was let out of the motel and ran off, and Mann felt crushing loss and grief (while looking not quite that) then ran into Mulder and Smarty K and ran to the toilet and got pap shot by Mulder and etc. 

(Also, he ran into the werewolf dude; and Mulder knows the urge to “strangle him and eat his flesh” when it comes to villains and their villainy.)

Hokey. That’s how I would describe this episode. Inoffensive, but new Scooby Doo.  

Wait, he threw his clothes off while witnessing the werewolf man eat another man (get it, it looked like animalistic sex) then but had them on again when Mulder ripped open the stall door and took his pants-down shot. 

What. 

Wait, Mulder’s up-to-day with transgender procedures and terms but not? familiar with gay bars? 

What, did he subscribe to a Queer Life email subscription between episodes, or is that too new-fangled? 

This episode doesn’t know what angle it wants to tackle for Clone!Mulder (forgot that nickname temporarily) and instead becomes a mix of everything at different strengths (that also change depending on which scene.) 

HOW did Guy Mann not recognize Mulder after Mulder took a picture of him on the port-a-potty??? And stuck around to ask him some questions??? 

“That was me, actually.” 

“I thought I recognized you!” 

So. He… diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid? 

OR it was a jackalope head on the wall?

No, wait, it wasn’t a jackalope, Guy Mann just misidentified the animal head on the wall-- and he’s “creeped out” by jackalopes ever since a friend got “gored” by them and GET IT, GUYS, THIS ALL LINKS BACK TO THE BASEMENT WHEN MULDER TALKED ABOUT MOTHMEN AND JACKALOPES. 

I swear, Mulder’s just trippin or suffering withdrawals from his depression meds. 

Scully said, “We have a creature case,” and he went home and dreamed this all up in a slime pit of sweat. 

HIS DEAD FRIEND GEORGE. 

SO THESE LIZARD PEOPLE HAVE NAMES????

THEN WHY’S HIS NAME GUY MANN?????????????????????????????????????

SO, they have friends and eat insects that have some form of consciousness and consider burgers to be cow murder. 

I need to stop thinking seriously about this plot. 

It’s pit stink Mulder thrashing around in his bed, smiling over speedos and peeping tom tunnels and Scully affectionately calling him crazy-- and that makes the most sense, honestly. 

“I think my phone isn’t working right because guy’s don’t send me pictures of their junk on it.”

More evidence that this was written not by Darin Morgan but by his middle school aged doppelganger, Marin Dorgan, who split from his body during the stress of having to write for the Revival. 

“Ever since I became a human, I can’t help but lie about my sex life.” Stupid. He’d need a Twitter account, first. 

Mulder’s back to doubting because the entire story’s too silly. To be fair, I do like this beat; and it does align (if you squint at it) with his journey out of depression. BUT it is all too silly, so… kinda think Clone!Mulder’s got a point. 

Mulder smiling over learning that Shakespeare called us all ignorant idiots is a nice touch which I shall now spoil: how did Guy Mann know that? Porn? 

“Fox, man, you’ve gotta put me out of my misery!” Get it, Fox Mann, Guy Mann? Animals, GET IT. 

“You wanted to arrest me for something I didn’t do. Who takes advantage like that? I’ll tell you: a human.” That’s the only comedic bit that landed, for me, and even then it was a lip twitch. His contained righteous indignation got through whatever made the rest of this the way it is! WHOO! 

The guys goes stomping off yelling “Monster!” behind him at Mulder to drive his point home, which drives Mulder to drink. 

“Mulder’s the monster, get it, because he doesn’t know what he is and is just willing to use other people for his own selfish ends?” the plot says, affectionately, with a giggle behind its hand. 

This is the scene where he collapses by Kim Manner’s tomb, isn’t it. 

ARE YOU KIDDING, MULDER HAS HIS THEME SONG AS A RINGTONE. 

MULDER’S HIGH, THAT’S IT. HE’S HIGH OR OVERDOSING ON HAPPY DRUGS, THERE’S NO OTHER EXPLANATION. 

Now that I know this is Ken Mulder’s delirium, it’s going to be interesting to draw unauthorized conclusions about his Alice in Wonderland hallucination. 

Aww, look, it’s Kim Manners. 

Mulder’s got his Patriarchy Pants' cheeks right on Kim’s face. 

Me, ten minutes into the Revival: “Maybe I’m just a fool, Scully. Maybe I always have been.” 

Can’t knock that line too much because it is a Mulder thing to think or say. 

And it still fits into my delirium scenario, so. 

Oh, Kumail’s been turned. Didn’t see that coming. The music’s suspenseful, too. That’s cool. 

There’s no way Mulder should figure this out, but he probably will. 

Oh, he didn’t. 

That’s good. 

Also, Scully’s: “Maybe I miss having a dog. And someone to hold my grudges for me,” could apply to her tendency to own dogs but it also might refer to Mulder who she let “curse God for a while” in her stead in IWTB. 

Also, where was THIS scene hiding? It’s really good. 

Ken Mulder’s hobbling, not running, to his car. ‘Kay. 

Wait, Kumail's not a werewolf?

And Scully's got it all handled???? 

Wait, NO, that makes no sense. AND IT’S ALL EXPLAINED AWAY WITH “I’M IMMORTAL.” what. 

Scully went to the animal control shelter because she suspected Kumail of being the murderer. 

She lingered with her back to Kumail, letting him have home court advantage. 

HE SLIPPED A NOOSE AROUND HER NECK. 

That’s it, she’s doneso. She’s a 5’2” woman that’s as light as a bird, there’s no way she’s topping a man, let alone one with a noose around her neck and distance on his side. 

Yes, I know this was because the transgender woman surprised Guy Mann with her punch, but that doesn’t translate to a stunning twist for Scully to also have the upper hand. She doesn’t have enough meat on her bones, and nowhere near the arm length to stop her attacker. 

Did Guy Mann show up and interfere? Help her out in anyway? Did the dogs rush in and tackle him until she could get up? 

IS SCULLY A DOG WHISPERER????? If so, why did Daggoo bite her????????

I will say: Kumail being the murderer really changes that one scene where he was sneaking up behind Mulder. 

And also… the fact that he worked for an animal shelter, since he started with small animals.

WAIT, this is a normal animal control shelter, yes? That’s what Mulder yelled into his phone, anyway. 

But… there were only dogs in the room when Mulder and the officers arrived. 

So. Scully is a dog whisperer, or she tackled Kumail, loosed all the dogs before he got up, and pinned him (impossible) until the cops arrived. I guess. Or the dogs were loose to begin with. 

Oh, and chickens.

Dogs and chickens. 

Dogs. And chickens. And goats. 

(Were ALL the animals loose??????)

Scully, the farm animal whisperer. A trait she must share with her Wyoming son. 

Welp. There goes that scene. 

Scully approached a dangerous suspect twice without backup (says Mulder, who was Kenning it out in the cemetery with the first dangerous suspect… and the second, if you count him running off and nearly getting offed by Kumail without his knowledge); and excuses it by saying Mulder needed “quality time” with his Lizardman. 

“Besides, I’m immortal.” 

That sounds like the prequel to another poor decision tattooed on your back, Scully. 

Mulder’s not soothed by this pronouncement (obviously), but realizes “If Guy’s story was true--” and runs off into the woods. Again. 

And Scully asks the dog if he wants to go home with her. 

And I question. Why a dog. Why that dog. 

You miss dogs but you didn’t have a tie to any particular dog. And this dog bit you. 

Because he’s Plot Relevant Dog. I see. 

“Woah, I’m not a reptile! That’s racist!”

No it’s not you silly, silly reptile with utterly unexplainable human knowledge and reflection. 

Also, another motif of Mulder just standing there watching another guy undress, casually. 

An aspect of Darin’s writing I hadn’t considered: Mulder knows things Guy does is odd for a normal human, but also knows this is normal for Guy and just goes with it, for his sake. 

Like a good psychologist. Like a decent human. 

But also, he has his limits. 

Also, get it, Mulder’s a man outside mankind, too, who just needs to find himself again. Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit?

“I want to believe,” Mulder says. 

Mulder just needed someone to say they’re glad to have met him, they’re glad to have him in their life. 

So. 

I guess Scully hasn’t said those words yet. 

Guy shakes his hand. 

Mulder watches, stunned, as Guy runs off to hibernate for 10,000 years-- another hallmark of Marin Dorgan’s writing. Ha ha ha, a knee slapper, that one. 

“Likewise,” Mulder whispers, overcome and disbelieving and renewed all in one. 

A nice little heartfelt, cheesy, sincere ending. 

CONCLUSION

What did I just watch? 

Thanks for reading~

Enjoy!

[swifty-fox]

“New boys rolled into town today. Well, old boys. New-old boys.” Curt wobbles his head from side to side in thought, “Old as in been in the club a while, New as in y’aint met them yet. They been out in Cheyenne the last few years, long before you started hanging off me like the rest of my girlfriends,” He gestures around to Ken, who smirks knowingly, and Ev, who rudely salutes him.

“Good riders,” Ev agrees.

“Great bikes, real old school choppers.” Ken adds

“Yeah, you like a good ride dontcha Kenny,” Curt leers. John feels their legs hook more tightly under the table, “Now, if these animals would let me finish-”

Curt pauses to wait, only to be met with silence, and nods pleasedly before continuing.

“- was gonna say I, you might wanna go meet ‘em. Get some more photos for your little mod-podge photo collage.”

John grins at him, because Curt never said anything seriously when he could be flippantly rude but was no less sincere for it, and tweaks his ear, “See, this is why I hang out with you skuzzes.”

“Thought it was ‘cos we don’t stink half as bad as half the dropouts in this bar and are prettier than the other half?” 

“Curt,” John says, stealing his drink to have a sip of the same lukewarm beer that was in his own glass, “Whoever told you that you didn’t stink was lying to you.”

“Hey, Ken took me out back last week and bathed me!”

“They nice guys? Or will I get my teeth knocked in for shoving a camera in their faces?”

“Nice enough,” Ev says, hand stroking up and down Helen’s hip. The motion left grease stains behind on her pale jeans, but she either didn’t notice or was well-used to it by now,

Ken picks up where he leaves off, all their voices rising over the crowd; John snaps a picture, “Benny’s real quiet, but DeMarco already thinks he’s a movie star. Shocked he hasn’t hunted you down for his debut photoshoot by now.”

“DeMarco’ll pop you one good if he hears you callin' him Benny.” 

“Not, Ben- Benny. Gale-Benny.” 

“Since when do we call Cleve, Benny?” 

“Jesus, Ev, forgot you were busy with your little rugrat back then. Chick used to call him that. Said he looked just like this kid Benny he used to ride with back in the forties, ‘fore he showed up with those scars.”

“Scars?” John asks, calling to mind all the ways a human body could be broken apart. 

“Yeah,” Curt answers, leaning forward and tracing a ringed finger against both hollows of his cheeks, “Just showed up one summer with big slashes in both cheeks, almost down to the bone, I remember. He’d rescued some old lady from being mugged, got slashed by some kids knife.”

“I heard it was from pushing drugs,” Ken said, his Arkans drawl sweet as honey

“Fuck no, man doesn’t even smoke and you think he’s out there running cocaine for Castro? I was there, I know what happened” Curt shakes his head, “Man’s straight as they come, save for the whole,” he waves his hand, “outlaw biker deal.” 

“Yeah,” Ev agrees, “What is the deal with that?”

“Dunno, Everett, think maybe he likes bikes and traffic tickets,” Curt answers ponderously.

“Oh, look at him,” Ev nudges Ken and nods at John, “He’s eating this up.”

John puts his camera down, “If you three stooges didn’t make such good subjects I wouldn’t need to take the photos. Helen, you’re the exclusion of course, I’ll photograph you however or whenever you want, Doll.”  Helen laughs over Ev’s sharp whistle of warning to back off, cheeks flushing bright red because she was one of the few truly good girls that hung about the club.

curt in this whole scene:

[moxidi-fanarts-and-sketches]

I'm an animation student so each time i experience a non-visual media i wonder How Would I Make This As A Cartoon, which means that when i watch fantasy high i imagine it as a dropout original cartoon and wonder which cast members would be good for the npcs (it would've been funny to have brennan voice all of them but i think a bigger voice cast would be cooler), so here's my voice claims for the bad kids' families and friends:

The Abernants: maybe Matt Mercer for Angwyn?? I haven't seen cr or any of his d20 campaigns yet but when i think fantasy politics i think of him,, idk who would suit for Arianwen but for Aelwyn i picture Jess Mckenna

The Thistlesprings: both have the exact same voice and are voiced by Brennan. they are an item do not separate

The Gukgaks: hear me out on this. VIC MICHAELIS AS SKLONDA. they play the achetype of a person who tries to stay calm and competent despite all the chaos around them in vip SO well, they would nail this (vic as sklonda might be the reason i made this post). now hear me out again. Grant O'Brien for Pok. He has the exact same charismatic and elegant vibe that Pok has but also Grant "towers over everybody" O'Brien giving a monologue on how difficult it is being small would be HILARIOUS

The Faeths: Brennan should stay as Gilear bc after 3 campaigns of the bad kids dragging him everywhere, he knows how this man should sound perfectly, and for Sandra Lynn i would pick Becca Scott

I have no idea for the Seacasters (though i think Brennan could stay as Bill because of his sick pirate accent and chemistry with Lou) and the Applebees so i'm looking forward to what you guys might come up with!!!

As for non-family characters, i have:

Jacob Wysocki as Ragh: he can be big, loud and angry but also vulnerable and soft, and that's perfect for Ragh. as a bonus he also has good chemistry with Zac!! (see their msn episodes)

Rehka Shankar as Tracker: Rehka has the cool, charismatic energy that would be absolutely perfect for Tracker<3

Sam Reich as Aguefort: do i need to say more.

Josh Ruben as Johnny Spells: he would be PERFECT to capture the "80s bad boy but in an extremely loser way" aesthetic

Now hear me out again: OSCAR MONTOYA AS ALISTAIR ASH. LIKE TO CHARGE REBLOG TO CAST. let Brennan teach him how to do that accent and the Sweet Boy energy would be off the charts

That's all i could come up with, so i want to see what you guys could suggest for the rest of the npcs!!!