#i need to stop doing that. i'm blocking myself off from a bunch of cool experiences that way

[torchickentacos]

I have a personal vendetta against b chords. what is this bunch of malarkey

[iamred-iamyellow]

⋆ ˚｡⋆౨ৎ˚ Triple Threat

♥ masterlist | request rules

♥ pairing: spiderman!franco colapinto x fem!chemist!reader

♥ synopsis: Franco's been obsessed with you since high school. The only person who understood chemistry the way he did was you. But even before that, you were his muse and a muse like yourself like you had a hard time picking between your crush on Franco and your crush on Spiderman.

♥ wc: 1.6k - as always none of the pictures are mine <3

♥ warnings: swearing, some vague canon-typical violence, and sexual tension !!!

♥ a/n: I NEED MORE PICTURES OF SPIDERMAN!! (franco colapinto)

Franco tapped his pen on a sheet of lined paper that was inconspicuously titled: Web Fluid 4.3.

Becoming a chemist major was the natural progression of his life and it only took three things to convince him. His reputation as a former salutatorian, pressure from his aunt, and the ability to swipe anything he needed from school labs.

Okay, it was mostly the last one.

“Salicylic acid, methanol…” he mumbled to himself as students filed out of the lecture hall.

His eyes shot up from the notes as he heard a ringing sound in his head.

You were standing at the foot of his desk, holding your textbooks, and ready to talk. His senses always went off around you.

“Hey,” he said, cutting you off before you even had a chance to speak.

His cheeks flushed and his head dropped with a soft laugh.

“Sorry,” he whispered to you with a smile.

You chuckled, “Beat me to it.”

Franco covered his notebook with his blue sweater engulfed arms in an attempt to shield the formulas he wrote down.

“Uhm,” he muttered, pushing his glasses back up his face. “Is there anything I can help you with?"

“Actually," you peered around the empty room and nodded. “Yeah, do you still do the photography thing? I know you took on the scientist route now, but if you still have your camera from high school I could use a favor.”

“Yeah, yes, of course, anything,” he stammered with a smile.

“I have a-“ you scratched your head and lightly laughed. “An article coming out soon for Oscorp and I need some pictures of myself.”

“If you’re free tonight I can…” he trailed off, hoping you’d jump in.

Your eyes lit up, “That’s perfect!” You grabbed your phone out of your pocket. “I’ll text you the location and we can meet up at 5?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “Works for me.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” you said with relief, placing your hand on top of one of his before leaving the classroom.

He tilted his head back on the chair with a widened smile and a deep exhale. He basked in this moment, regardless of how short lived it was.

His phone buzzed with the promised notification:

You

OSCORP, BUENOS AIRES 📍

we've got a beautiful view on the roof

-

It's been way too long since the two of you were alone. Senior year, I think? You were close but... not that close. At least not anymore. Franco likes to exaggerate it. You're now more like friends by proximity.

He squinted as he looked into the barrel of his camera, a smile plastered on his face.

"A little to the left," he gestured with his hand as you scooted over.

"Here?" you asked, smoothing some wrinkles on your outfit that bunched up when you moved.

"Perfect," he confirmed, holding up the 'ok' symbol with his unoccupied hand.

He probably took about a hundred photos of you. I mean, he just couldn't stop. Every picture was better than the last.

The sun began to set and your skirt flew in the cool winter breeze as the shoot wrapped up.

"What's your hourly rate?" you asked, pulling your phone out of your skirt pocket.

"Oh, no," he waved you off. "No need to pay me."

You met his gaze, "Are you sure?"

He nodded with a chuckle, "I'm sure." He looked down at his camera, "Consider it a favor for an old friend."

He ran a hand through his brown curls before continuing.

"And uh...," he took his eyes off the photos to look up at you, squinting from the sun. "My place is only a few blocks away if you'd like to come by and see the final product?

You nodded frantically, "Yes, I'd love to."

A slow smile grew on his lips, "Perfect."

-

His bedroom is the same. Red striped sheets, miscellaneous books piled in crevices, a map of the city above his desk, and of course, the cork board with red strings pinned against a thousand pictures of his parents.

You don't ask.

He sat down in the swivel chair, pushing his black glasses up, and zoning in on the computer. His screen lit up with something you weren't expecting to see:

You.

As the two top students at your high school, you got to know each other pretty well. The wallpaper photo was the two of you on grad night—still in your cap and gown, laughing. It's kind of blurry, but that just adds to the nostalgia.

Your features softened, “You still have that?”

He looked between you and the screen, “Yeah, of course I do.”

You braced your palms against the wood of his desk as he leaned his head back against the chair and looked up at you with his needy, almost lusty brown eyes.

Fuck, has he always been like this?

You gasped as your hand slipped off the corner of his desk causing papers to go floating to the ground.

"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," you stammered, kneeling to his carpet to pick everything up.

There were some assignments, random formulas amongst scribbles that resembled ones of a mad scientist, and a few printed out photos that you assumed he took.

Your eyebrow quirked as you caught a glimpse of a familiar red and blue suit in the pile of papers you gathered.

You flipped the card, eyes widening as the familiar figure was exactly who you thought it was.

"Is this Spider-Man?" you asked, staring closely at the photo.

"Hm?" he cleared his throat. "Oh uh, yeah. I take pictures of..." he paused, choosing his next words carefully. "Him—for the Daily Bugle.”

“Really?” you asked him curiously. “Do you not like him? The Daily Bugle kind of talks shit about Spider-Man-"

"No!" he cut you off. "No, no I love him, he's great—we're kind of close," he rambled. "It's just for the job. He doesn't mind that the pictures go there."

"Oh okay," you nodded. "I like him." you smiled. "You know, he saved my life once."

Franco's eyebrows raised and his mouth dried, “Did he?”

You nodded, trailing your fingers along his desk, "At some event for Oscorp, I was there with our boss's son. The terrace started to crack and... I would've died if it weren't for him."

"I remember that," Franco said instinctively. He cleared his throat, "On the news."

You nodded, "Yeah it was everywhere. I'll always thank him for that. No matter what the media says."

He smiled at you for a moment, taking in your features as you talked about him Spider-Man.

He broke the comfortable silence with a deep inhale, "I should uh- get to editing I guess."

-

Franco practically begged to walk you home but you insisted that he'd done enough favors for you tonight. The second you left he changed into his suit, headed out into his town of Pilar, and hoped he'd find you strolling safely home.

Unfortunately, you were having anything but that. For the past four blocks there was a group of men following just far enough behind you. Okay... maybe you're just going to the same place. ...Right?

You keep trying to tell yourself that, but they keep getting closer and closer and now they're so close you can hear their footsteps on the wet alleyway concrete. You start to speed up, heels clicking against the ground before they do too, and at this point you're running.

Thankfully, a certain someone was already there before they tried to pull something.

You swung at one of them, hitting him square in the nose as a white web yanked another one of the guys backwards onto the floor.

Spider-Man flipped from one of the buildings into the scene of the fight, leaving all four men in too much pain to get up or completely passed out.

Your head turned to the man, noticing that this time he was unmasked, but you were only able to catch a glimpse of his brown locks before he sprinted off down a corner.

"Wait!" you shouted before sighing, turning your back to the corner he ran to and assessing your surroundings.

He had quickly put his mask back on before hanging upside down off the fire escape stairs of the nearby building.

”Tienes un don para meterte en problemas,” he smirked under his mask.

You let out a sigh of relief when you realized who it was and laughed from his tone, “You have a knack for saving my life. I think I have a superhero stalker.”

He shrugged, “I was in the neighborhood.”

“You are…” you shook your head. “Amazing.”

“Some people don’t think so,” he muttered, referring to the way Daily Bugle talked about him. If only they knew.

“Well," you stepped closer, "I think so.”

“It’s nice to have a fan."

"Do I get to say thank you this time?" you muttered, pulling down the top of his mask.

“¿Estás seguro de que estás bien?” He asked in a whisper, soft pants escaping his lips.

Huh.

He kind of sounds familiar.

"Yeah..." you mumbled with a nod, barely hearing his questions. His lips were the only thing you could look at, for many reasons other than them being at your eye level.

You held his face and slowly connected your lips, rain dripping down from your hair and his chin, coating your cheeks.

You gasped softly as you pulled away, your forehead resting against him as you shut your eyes for a moment. You kissed him softly one more time before returning his mask to cover his lips.

"So," he said to you with a smile you couldn't see. "Do I get to walk you home now?"

-

a/n: bit of an open ending where the reader might find out that Franco is Spiderman mwahahahaha

[serialkilluh-1996]

Groomer callout post

The beginning

Back in January of this year, I became mutuals with @brutalcorpse, a blogger who later turned out to be a pedophile.

I spam liked a bunch of his mask posts (due to my newfound interest in masked individuals), and he dmed me.

Mind you, this was a very popular man. I only had like 15 followers at the time, and this man was getting like 400 notes on his picture posts within an hour of posting. So, the attention did make me feel special in a way.

We ended up becoming friends and had a pretty unhealthy relationship, where I'd flirt playfully, not understanding the depths of the issue as I play flirt with all my friends, and he'd respond with something unnecessarily sexual if not violent and threatening, like daring to kidnap me.

Nothing really seemed off to me until one day he started asking me if I'd send him pictures of myself. He'd always insist it was fair as he'd send me pictures of himself (even though he was always masked in said photos).

So, I told him how it was. I wasn't allowed to post my face online at the time because I wasn't old enough, and those were the rules my mother set (I was a year younger at the time). He then insisted that I didn't need to post my face, just my body. When I read the message, I was shocked.

I vaguely remember the next message trying to coerce me into wearing no clothes in said photo, and after that, I'd stopped using tumblr. Deleted the app off my phone. I couldn't respond to that, but I didn't want to look like I was ignoring him.

I decided a week later to download the app back, and his blog had been deactivated. Our messages were gone, so I assumed it was banned.

Months passed, and I still felt guilty and stupid because I knew I should've screenshotted those texts, and I should've reported him. But there was nothing more I could do. I had no proof, and he had completely disappeared.

The current situation

A couple of days ago, I see a post that pops up in my dash, and with a churn in my gut and a heavy heart, I decide to check out the person's blog. I immediately fell sick as I read further.

I had like this shock feeling as I read through the post and through his page because they were so similar. They both liked anime, masks, and gothic things (as do I). And it's the exact same color theme. I was certain it was him.

He eventually ended up dming me:

A very dumb move if you ask me.

I decided to keep the conversation going to suss out if it was really him, and decided I'd play it cool until he did something that proved him guilty or innocent instead of blocking him on tue spot.

Mind you, I just remembered his username was @brutalcorpse as I'm making this post, so now I'm certain it's him.

Here's some Screenshots from a conversation he had with my friend (behind my back, might I add) but he had no idea that I was already suspecting him and had informed her as well

Admission:

Overall, I recommend you block this guy because I'm absolutely positive he's my groomer, and if he asked me for nudes, I'm sure he's asking other minors despite that last sentence.

And regardless of if you think it's him or not, he clearly has no issue expressing that he likes minors. While I'm not demanding it, I encourage you to reblog this.

@cxndiedvi0lets @maria-the-puppet @mister-scott40 @rh1nest0neluvvsu @k0kainek4tz3 @wrathofscarlett @monachopsis-420 @bullet-bunny

[fastcardotmp3]

🎊 december bookshelf 🎊

november recs | recs tag

Happy (almost) New Year! Here are some bits of brilliance I'm closing out the year in reading, and here's to everything that you guys have made this year. I'm so grateful to exist in a space with so much talent and so many big hearts willing to share in it, and I can't wait to read what you have cooked up for 2024 🥂 love, dot

🎊 INCENDIUM by @stargazersteddie- I have always been and will always be a weird dragon kid at heart and this fic was tailor made for the weird dragon kids of the world LIKE! dragon shapeshifter eddie is SUCH a concept and then to add dragon hunter steve to the mix? to add a genuinely intriguing corrupted corporation claiming to help people? to add ronance espionage and secrets in the woods and-? you know? a treat of a journey really and truly.

🎊 captain's log webcomic by @rogue-alien - That sweet spot where beautiful, perfectly representative art meets a brilliant premise in which Dustin finds a bunch of old "Captain's Log" tapes Eddie recorded before he died and things develop from there. Truly makes my day every time I see this has updated with a new page and as a comic book lover I'm fully enamored with everything about this

🎊 if you wanted, you could do no harm by @eskawrites - I'm a lover of a road trip story in which everything becomes clear because the scenery has changed and this is SUCH a beautiful depiction of that. getting to live inside Nancy's head as she goes from knowing she has to get out of Hawkins but not necessarily why to finding this sense of peace within herself and the things she both can control (kissing the girl who made sure she wasn't alone for the journey) and can't control (the big unknowable that is life) was a delight and a joy <3

🎊 mark it on the starmap with an x by @cheatghost - the Eddie POV "show me the place (where he inserted the blade)" sequel/ companion piece of my DREAMS. I love an Eddie character study with my whole heart and the way lou explores him in this particular circumstance, being blocked off from the joy he built for himself and leaning on Wayne and almost being forced into adapting without getting a say in the matter? Brilliant, immaculate, perfect, HELP ME.

🎊 max the bloody handed by @hellsfireclub - KAS!MAX!!! Beautiful Lucas POV as things fall into disarray, as his sense of something's wrong gets proven right, and with such a cool and eerie tone the whole way through. also Lucas with a crossbow which you KNOW is everything To Me.

🎊 this time of the year by @gothbat99 - robin HEARS nancy even when nancy isn't saying anything aloud and robin KNOWS that nancy needs a moment to let her brain go quiet and just be and I'm beside myself!! sweet and warm and tinged with the inevitable grief of the holiday season what if I cry huh?

🎊 The Future is the Same (but i have to try) by @fragilecapric0rnn - such an intriguing world built in so few words but the thing that has me on the FLOOR is the nancy and steve reckless grieving power duo of it all LIKE. designed for me specifically perhaps??? the characterization, the looming danger of every choice they make, the impulsive nature of it all!!! brilliant!

🎊 crash by @cheatghost (yes, again! sue me!) - i say 'designed for me specifically' a lot but this time it's actually TRUE and let me tell you!!! the psychic damage incurred was IMMENSE!! the nancy character study of all time, the cyclical/non-linear journey through grief and catharsis and hope and acceptance of my dreams, i'm never going to stop thinking about this fic you HAVE to read it, it's imperative To Me okay? okay. okay okay.

PS. don't forget to tip your writer in kudos and comments if you read and enjoy these! it's talking to each other about the works we create that makes this fandom world go round 💖

[starryjkoo]

interesting how calling out jm anti "jkkers" gets someone labeled a jk anti and suddenly a bunch of "reasonable" jkkers rally behind them (the jm anti) because "they were defending jk 😔"...

while i'm all for defending jk, it seems too many jkkers have taken "caring about and defending jk more" as "shitting on and dragging jm more or just as much" when answering these same "insecure jkkers" that have weird or downright disrespectful asks/rants about jkk.

*this isn't about you btw 😭

(lol thank you for clarifying this wasn’t about me 😭)

I honestly just think it goes both ways. Unfortunately the fandom-wide diet-solo epidemic didn’t spare jkkrs so you will find them on both sides shading or being weird towards one or the other (and I consider the people who do what you're describing to be diet-solos, so I'll just refer to them that way). Somehow they still retain their platforms because diet-solos are always protected by their buddies & because a lot of people just aren’t active enough to catch their weird posts/tweets so they get away with it.

I’m not super active in jkk spaces so I couldn’t say if it seems to happen to one of them more than the other, but I can at least say that I’ve seen it happen to both at various points & yeah it’s super annoying and frustrating. Both sides are convinced that only their bias is treated unfairly by the fandom, and only their bias is never defended by the fandom either (and obviously both claims are untrue) and it even leads to this weird and obvious resentment despite them still considering themselves jkkrs. For JM specifically I remember some serious weird treatment around the beginning of CH2 (ARMYs & shippers both can be very weird & resentful towards the members when they act in ways they don’t like).

I will toss out that no one is perfect and I feel like we could all treat each other with a little more patience and kindness while navigating the mess that is CH2. I mean people thought that my post was throwing JM under the bus 😭 so I get how easy it is to have your words twisted or misconstrued, or how sometimes we might not think through everything we post and how it could come off, or even how easy it is to let our emotions run and say things we don't mean and later regret. I try to take that into consideration when I stumble across a post that rubs me the wrong way because it's honestly just really sad how many genuinely good ARMYs have been run off (not meaning this towards you or anything, just rambling a bit in general).

Anyways (not that you need it!) but my totally unsolicited advice around diet-solos (as someone who has wasted too much time & energy getting worked up about them) is that it really is just best to block and ignore them. Like unless they’re actively trying to start a hate train or something, most of them are just wasting their energy being weird and manipulative in a way that has no actual impact on any of the members (even the hate trains don’t really accomplish much tbh, only thing I hate is when they run good people off). This applies even more so to jkkrs because they probably have the least amount of power in the whole fandom lmao 😭

The hypocrisy is extra annoying from personal standpoint but I stopped wasting energy on it. If I don’t like someone I just block or mute them. I’ve kind of accepted that people are just going to keep being weird as hell going forward and the diet-soloness has gotten entirely out of control, even within jkk spaces, so it is what it is. I think that jkkr diets do a lot less damage too because, while jkkrs aren't perfect, most aren't cool with one or the other being openly shaded or mistreated imo. On the other hand, diet-solos have manged to do so much genuine damage to ARMY spaces that it's insane and depressing. Well, maybe I'm wrong about the jkk community, but that's how I see it at least.

Also I remind myself to touch a lot of grass lol, a lot of this fandom stuff is kind of petty and dumb when you take a step back, but I get way too wrapped up in it sometimes myself (sometimes I honestly just enjoy complaining lol). But jkk are both so insanely loved and supported at the end of the day and nothing these people do can take away from that, even if the injustice/hypocrisy has me clenching my fists and shaking in rage like the Arthur fist meme. It's also a situation where it's really only like a handful of bad apples imo and I need to remind myself they're not representative of the wider fandom sometimes.

Also just want to state for the record there’s a huge difference between having a bias (even being heavily biased) and being a diet-solo, I think that distinction needs to be made more often but I’ve rambled way too long so I’ll leave it at that lol. Sorry this answer was all over the place 😭

[dzpenumbra]

7/18/23

I want to get to bed earlier tonight than I have been lately, so I'm going to try to keep this shorter than normal.

I went to the skatepark today. The smoke from the Canadian fires was back and I went anyway. It was pretty exhausting and I sweat like crazy, I had to take a ton of breaks. I didn't do anything too impressive, but I really wanted to get more comfortable on my board, so I just kinda focused on that. I was getting a bit spooked with the idea of ollieing onto an angled box, I kept riding up to it and then chickening out. It was only like 6 or 7 inches tall. But I was just spooked by it. So I made myself do it. And I ended up doing it a bunch of times without any problems at all. I was probably ollieing way higher than I needed to, but the feeling of just doing something I was scared to do just seconds before was really nice. And just getting comfortable with it and seeing it's really not that bad. So, all-in-all, skating was fucking great. I was beaming, I felt like a kid again. I had no shame really, I wasn't even that insecure, I just sorta embraced where I was at and just skated for the love of skating.

The ride up on my electric board... I was a bit nervous. I have to go through a not-so-great area to get there, which just so happens to be the area right next to the health center and the community center... and a block away from the police department... it's pretty clearly not a great area. Going up, I was a bit nervous. I forgot what turn to take and kinda... had to come to a stop for a minute and check my map. But I made it there fine.

Coming back was another story. At first... I was having no problems. In fact, most of the way was pretty much fine. Until I got to that same area by the train tracks and the community center and a dude flagged me down. I... stopped. I was just absolutely stunned that someone actually wanted to interact with me. There was one other kid at the skatepark and he was just on the other side of the tiny park the entire time and never even acknowledged me. This guy was like waving and yelling, asking me if I just rode down that hill on my board. I yelled back across the street that yeah, it's electric, and the brakes charge the battery, it's really cool. I seriously... in those moments, it is 100% my inner child coming out. I sound like a fucking 8 year old. And I love that about myself, I love connecting with that part of me, there's so much excitement and wonder and joy. Then... the guy came across the street.

I... actually was getting ready to let him try riding it. I don't fucking know why, honestly, I really shouldn't. He actually kinda stopped me, saying something like, "oh no, that belongs to you, that's okay." That's around when I noticed this guy was barefoot and had painted toenails. He had scraggly hair, he was missing one of his teeth. He had gigantic widely-open blue eyes and his pupils were pinned. He had a recent injection mark in his right arm. He had something stuck in his left foot and didn't seem to be aware of it. Meth, I'd put money on it. But I was just... oblivious. In the moment, I was just like "oh wow, someone wants to talk to me." And I told him I came from the skatepark and this is how I get to the skatepark, and he asked me if I was on a mountain, would I ski or snowboard... and I said snowboard. And he got excited and fist-bumped me. And that's when I saw the injection site and reality started to set in. He then said, out of nowhere... "okay, welp, I better go get that corpse out of the road." And walked off. I'm guessing it was roadkill or something? I was just like... in my head... "alright, um... guess it's time for me to get the fuck out of here..."

Wonder why I have social anxiety? This is really... a big part of why I'm scared of socializing. I feel like I just completely miss the gigantic red flags. I feel... inept. I feel like I put myself in unsafe situations, because... I just assume the best of people. I see the best in people. Compulsively. And that means that not only is my guard down, my guard is pretty much non-existent. I genuinely wonder... if this guy asked me if he could have my skateboard that was on my back... if I would give it to him. Me right now, most likely not. I mean, unless he was like part of an NA program and had a sponsor who could vouch for him and thought skating could get him off the drugs and turn his life around, then sure, absolutely. But me in the moment? I really don't know. I really don't know. And that shit scares me. It's been haunting me ever since.

I've honestly really been struggling to process that encounter. It's like... 2-3 blocks away from my apartment. There is an alternate route I can take to get to the skatepark that's through a suburban(ish) neighborhood. I have no idea if that neighborhood is any better, worse, or the same. But I guess... maybe next time just... if I see someone coming across the street trying to get my attention, trying to talk to me, in that area... maybe next time don't stop and talk to the dude. Even though nothing bad happened.

I don't know if I'm being paranoid. He didn't seem to have bad intentions, he just seemed... high. But after that interaction, I have just really... not felt safe. It doesn't make me want to go that way to the skatepark again. Is this an overreaction? Have I had these effects on people when they've observed me inebriated in public? Am I being fair? Am I underreacting?

I don't really know how to assess this situation, and the obvious solution would be... don't skate alone. It's really never a good idea... but I just don't really have a choice right now. So the best compromise I have come up with is just... stay away from that specific road.

Is it obvious that I'm not a city person? XD

I legit treated that interaction like I would've treated meeting another hiker in the woods. "Hey, how are you? How's your day? Can I offer you a gift of some sort? Tell me your story!" And this dude is tweaking, standing in the doorway of his apartment building, walking out into the road and shit. Now that I'm thinking back, there was even a truck that slowed down to like... scope out the scene and I'm guessing make sure everything was okay and shit. And even they probably realized it looked like a potentially unsafe situation.

I'm seriously... ugh, I'm trying not to get too anxious about this but my heart is going already. I really worry that I'm not cut out for this type of world. Like I said, when I am doing well... when I am confident and all that... I keep ending up in unsafe situations and like... not even realizing it. It makes me feel stupid. I'm just going to say it so I can get it over with and move beyond it. I feel socially stunted or oblivious, blind, dumb.

It's making me think of kayaking in the flooded river. Or just not going to the doctors when blood started pooling in my foot when I got a blood clot in my shin. Or getting on a plane and flying to Vegas alone for the first time with no hotel room and barely any plan. Reckless. Adventurous? Shortsighted. Impulsive. Optimistic?

I don't know how to read it. Part of me just wants to see the best in things and not let anxiety rule me... but encounters like these just... they fucking validate that anxiety so fucking much. I can feel it right now, that smug little shit in the back of my head chiming in over and over and over - "I told you it wasn't safe..." "I warned you." "You're lucky."

And then another part of my brain chimes in and goes, "these are just people. Not all drug addicts are thieves or violent people. You were nice and neighborly to a troubled person." "Maybe you could find some kind of work in rehabilitation or something, find a way to help these people out, since you just... compulsively see the good in people. I'm sure they appreciate being treated like actual people."

Then another part of my brain goes... "AAAAGHAAAHAHA!! WE'RE NOT SAFE! Don't go back there again! Don't make yourself a target! Lock the doors!"

So... inner conflict. That's really how I feel. And right after a really good skate session where I had a lot of fun and was beaming with joy.

I've been lost in my head trying to find a good analogy for how I feel in pop culture... nothing is coming to mind right away... so I'm just going to reference my GTA RP character - Raymond Holmes. I made a character that went through a personality facelift and I made him into basically... during the day he was a cool high school dropout kinda guy who wanted to become a stuntman, like a Jackass cast member... during the night, he reverted to an 8 year old child. The two personalities had no knowledge or awareness of each other. What I'm referencing here is... how people would treat Ray, the child persona. They were very well aware that they were interacting with an authentic child-like personality. And every fucking person tried to get him drunk or get him high, or make him commit crimes, or something corrupt. Every fucking person wanted to corrupt him. Or hurt him. For fuck's sake, he went up to a gang member and straight up told the gang member to their face that his friend was stealing the gang member's car - he negligently, naively ratted on his only friend. And the gang member beat the shit out of the friend... then beat the shit out of Ray with a golf club. ... Why? No clue. Barely even spoke to him. But he did, left him crying on the side of the road.

I feel like that. And I know that people... for some reason... find amusement in causing bad things to happen to innocent people. Corrupting the innocent. I know that good, passive, well-intentioned, child-like people are excellent targets. They are prey. And... I feel like I've kinda... ended up in a strange reversal of the situation I came from.

In my old environment, I could feel people looking at me like I was the rabid dog in the pack (ahh Kristoff Krane). Like I was the wolf wearing sheep's clothing, hiding amongst the herd. Because I would wear metal band t-shirts and I have tattoos, and shit like that... where I used to live, that was very out of place. Now? I feel like a sheep wearing wolf skin trying to blend in in the pack, and doing a horrible job.

How much of this is feeling and how much of it is reality? I really can't tell. That's the most confusing part. Maybe that interaction was... not the worst in the world? I want to be social. I want to be trusting. I want to see the best in people. And I really, really do. But... man, all it's gonna take is someone baiting me into a parking lot and then I get jumped or some shit. "Oh they just need a hand, better be a Good Samaritan."

I want to be a good person. I want to be innocent. I want to embody that childlike wonder and joy. But this comes with it. And it leaves me vulnerable to being exploited. Which is why I feel so unsafe. And... ultimately... if my material possessions (my skateboards, my sunglasses, my AirPods, my phone, my water bottle and my keyfob were all I had on me... I deliberately left my wallet at home) were just... things... it wouldn't be that bad. "Just take my board, I'll walk home." I file a police report, they don't follow up on it... I lose my form of transportation that I only really use to get to the skatepark. Maybe I buy a new one, maybe I don't? So... working on my level of attachment to my possessions would dramatically reduce the feeling of risk here.

But then there's the element of physical harm. I don't know why any idiot would risk committing a violent crime against a stranger on the side of a major street... but I guess stranger things have happened. And if someone had it set in their mind that they were going to harm me? What am I going to do about it? Fight them? Run? I don't know. I just wanna fuckin skate, man! Now I've gotta think about this shit?!

What blows my mind is that a lot of the populace think the skateboarders are the criminals. Good lord.

So yeah. I'm just... kinda processing. Again, none of these feelings really hit until after I got back inside my apartment. In the moment it was just like... "oh, poor guy. I wish he chose going out and living life instead of drugs. He seemed like this was something he might be interested in." And I just moved on. But when I got back, it started hitting how... that could've been a bad situation. And it started bringing back those memories of how I just stood there and listened to my former best friend from high school tell me horrific (like literally straight out of a horror movie) stories about the life she came from. It just all makes me so sad. So sad. How horrible people can be to one another. To themselves.

I guess it makes the work of being a good person, breathing light and love into the world, that much more important. Is that how this works?

I don't want to linger on this. I'm sure I will discuss this with my therapist at length on Thursday. I just... I really wish I met a new friend today... not a meth head. It's not really making me feel comfortable renewing my lease... XD But huge pat on the back to me for going out, getting exercise and braving the world today - warts and all. It was a very big step and well worth it, even with its surreal setbacks.

Other than that? A decent night's sleep. 4 hours, got up, read some of this Meditation in Action book that is just... probably the big core of my existential crisis with like... "how do you deal with situations like vehicle theft and potential physical threat as a pacifist without just being eaten alive?" It's hard because books don't talk back. Then I got back to sleep and rested well.

After dinner, I did more work on the grip tape, it's coming along. Most of the mandala basecoat is pretty much done... I think... depends on how big I want to make it. The bigger it gets, the more paint it's taking to fill. Kinda "no duh"... but it just means each step is more time consuming and it feels like progress is slower. And yeah, that was pretty much the day.

So... I'm gonna try to focus on the good here, that I was getting pretty comfortable on my board and I actually went and skated regardless of the smoke in the air and the late hour. And I had a lot of fun. I absolutely saw the dark side of letting my inner child take the steering wheel, but I really don't want to let that overshadow the huge plus-side, because I had a fucking blast.

[maybelinefox]

Ok.

Wow.

Um....

When did they all get here?

This place was practically empty when I looked at it just a few minutes ago, but now it's teeming with workers.

None of them have noticed us yet, luckily, but that'll change any minute.

And I've got people banging and shoving on the door, only barely being held closed by my own strength. That's bound to grab attention pretty soon.

Think.

I could try to control them, but I won't be able to do that with everyone in the room and behind the door. There's too many. But all I need to do is whatever's necessary to get the boys through the door, right? And beyond the parking lot and through the fence and-

I really should have spent a few days making a plan before just jumping into stealing mutant children from a government facility.

Ok. Ok. I can do this. They need me to do this.

"What now?" Purple looks up at me, whispering. "I thought you said this was the best way out. There's way too many people."

"I know, I know," I look around for something to bar the door. "Just....give me a minute. I'll show you something cool."

"Oooo! Do you have-"

Purple slaps his hand over Orange's mouth.

Too late.

One of the workers glances over and spots us.

"Hey!" They shout, pointing. "That's them!"

Many other workers look over at the sound, shouting and moving towards us.

Heishi gets into a fighting stance.

Geez, what has this kid been through? That's proper form and everything.

"Alright," I turn to press my back against the door so I can face the loading dock workers. "I guess we're doing the magic trick now."

Focusing on everyone in front of me so the boys aren't affected, I take hold of the mind of every worker in the room. It takes a moment, with there being so many, but once I finally get ahold of all of them, I send the command for them to freeze in place.

They do.

I take in a breath.

"Woah!" Raph steps forward, eyes wide in curious surprise. "They stopped! What are they doing?"

I let out the breath.

"I'm doing it," I tell him, and they all look up to me.

"Your eyes are glowing," Purple points.

"Yep. They do that. Now listen." I point over to a rather large and heavy looking box to our left. "I need you boys to push that over here. Think you can do that?"

"That's going to be way too heavy," Purple insists.

I shake my head, taking in another grounding breath.

"No it won't. You got this. We need it to block the door. Now, hurry. I can't hold them for long."

The boys look to each other before scrambling over to the box. They bunch up behind it, making little disgruntled noises and comments about being too close to each other or stepping on each other's feet before they finally begin pushing. I use a little magic to help them, levitating the box off the ground just the slightest bit so they don't have to deal with ground resistance.

If I wasn't holding all these minds, I'd have been able to just levitate it straight over here.

As they bring the box over, I try to melt the metal of the door into the frame just a little so it can't open. As expected, however, with so much of my focus being pulled elsewhere, I can only manage to heat it enough the metal is too hot to touch.

Box it is, then.

They get the box up the ramp, and just as they reach the top, I prepare myself to move away from the door.

"Ok, push it in front of the door at the same time I move away from it. Ready?"

Raph looks at me from around the box and nods.

"Ok, in 3, 2, 1, go!"

They push and I back away. Once the box is in place, I release my hold on it. It stops right up against the door, keeping it closed.

"Good job boys," I lean over, bracing my hands on my knees.

"Are you ok?" Orange asks, putting his little hand against my arm.

I smile at him.

"I'm ok, Orange. Using my magic is kinda like a workout, so I'm just a little winded. I'll be fine in a minute after I catch my breath."

"Mikey," he says.

"Huh?"

"I'm Michelangelo, but you can call me Mikey." He points over to Purple. "That's Donatello, but we call him Donnie. He didn't want to tell you our names because he doesn't trust you."

"Right, Mikey," Donnie crosses his arms. "I definitely wanted her to know that. Thank you for telling her."

"You're welcome!" Mikey beams at his brother.

"Well, Mikey," I take his hand and stand straighter. "We have our chance to leave, so let's take it before it slips away from us, alright?"

Heishi doesn't need to be told twice. The red eared slider bolts towards the open door, but I grab his arm to stop him as he races past. He glares up at me once he understands what happened.

I realize my accidental diversion of focus when the lead scientist moves, still attempting to get to Raph and Donnie. I snap my attention to him and he freezes again.

"What was that for?" Heishi whines. "You said we were leaving!"

"We're leaving together," I grip his hand to keep him still, now holding two little turtle hands. I glance over towards the other two, still near the door. "Now, come on. We don't have much time."

Together, we hurry towards the door. Once we're past it, I send a small burst of fire back inside to weaken the chain, and then a strong, centered and focused movement of air slices through it. The sliding door crashes down, now unable to be opened via mechanics.

Turning back, I see the parking lot, a few security cars driving through it. Beyond it is the fence, which I know is surrounded by armed guards.

This is gonna suck.

But we've come this far.

It's time to get these boys out of this hellhole and into the happy life they deserve.

I let go of my hold of the people in the now closed and hopefully secured loading dock, freeing up my focus for more important things, and step forward.

@allyheart707

1,000 Follower Special: The Big Escape Part 2

< - First

"Shhhh!!!" Donnie hissed at his brother who was once again giving away their location with his need to ask a billion badly timed questions.

".. But if she is a mutant, then why Is she working as a scientist? And why is she taking us outside... I thought Dr. Meanie-Pants said that wasn't allowed." ".... Why do you think we are hiding in a cupboard, bro. Clearly, he does not know about this." "WHA- I mean... whaatt? But won't she get fired for that?!" Donnie sighed and shushed him once more. If anyone had been in the room at that moment, their cover would already be blown. Thankfully, nobody has entered the room and nothing seemed to be happening yet. The alarms haven't eve-

RIIIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGG

"Uh-oh." Mikey mumbled, cracking open the cupboards door just enough to peek outside. He let out a quiet squeak when Donnie whacked his hand away from the door, allowing it to close back up.

"... Are we going to get in trouble if they find us...?" Mikey whispered.

"Almost certainly." He whispered back as he attempted to wiggle his way into a more comfortable position and Mikey let out a worried hum.

Everything stopped when they heard the footsteps. Loud and rhythmic thumps of boots on the hard floors. Closer and closer until Donnie was sure that they would enter the employee lounge. If they did.... well, he knew it would only be a matter of time before they were found.

And then, the bootsteps began to fade. Both boys let out a sigh and they slumped against each other. Safe, for now.

What had to be minutes passed like this. The sound of sirens only being broken by the occasional stomping of boots and every time the boys would grow tense as they waited for them to eventually fade into the distance.

After ages of tense waiting and endless silence, the door slowly creaked open. Donnie held his breath, and grasped at his equally tense brothers hand.

"Boys, I found the best way out. It's time to go." May spoke softly into the room, and he could feel his brother melt against him in relief.

"Were in here!" Mikey whisper-shouted as he pushed open the door and shimmed his way out. Donne did the same, watching as Raph carefully made his way out from under the table (It was.... a very bad hiding spot) and Heishi landed with a small huff next to May-

Wait. How did he get on the ceiling?! Donnie opened his mouth to ask, when he was promptly cut off.

"Alright, stick close to me, okay?" She asked, grabbing Mikey's hand once more to make sure the littlest didn't fall behind.

She waited for everyone to give her a nod before finally sneaking back the way she came. Carefully she creaked open the door, peering out into the hallway which, from the lack of footsteps was probably empty. After checking both ways twice, she looked back to the turtles with a tight smile.

"Alright. Let's do this!" And with that, she took off from the room they were in and made a beeline for the next hall. Her head flicking back every few seconds to ensure that everyone was still following her. "Wh- HEY! STOP!" A voice sounded from down the hall making everyone gasp. Dr. Caspen was standing at the end of the hall, radio in hand. They were caught.

"We just need to make it to that door!" May shouted, pointing to a door that stood between them and the women in front of them.

May picked up Mikey and Raph took Donnies hand as they rushed to the door, Dr. Caspen closing in as she shouted for backup on her radio. They slammed open the door, all sliding in just seconds before the other scientist could follow. May shoved it closed with her whole body, keeping herself pressed against the door to ensure it wouldn't open back up.

The supply dock was a mess of action as people scrambled to and fro in a desperate attempt to clear everything from that days delivery out of the way of the doors in order to close them.

The lead scientist in charge of the whole operation was in the middle of this chaos, shouting orders at anyone and everyone he could.

"WERE ON LOCKDOWN, ALL DOORS NEED TO BE CLOSED! What are you guys DOING?!?" He shouted as people fumbled in their desperate attempt to follow orders.

Thanks to the loud chaos of multiple boots scrambling over the floor and his own yelling, it seems nobody noticed their own loud entrance, giving them just enough time to plan their way out of this mess.

The door was open, but there was about a dozen people in there way.

____

@maybelinefox

Ngl I ran out of time to go over and beta read this soooo please ignore any horrible mistakes I made in this until I can read it over and fix them tomorrow. Or, alternatively, feel free to comment them just please be nice, I have very low self esteem when it comes to my writing XD

[softie-rain]

Can I request just a nice fluffy day at the mall or arcade with Peter Maximoff, but also Jean, Scott, Ororo, Kurt, and Jubilee are there, like the whole friend group went out? Gn!reader please

Just a day off

pairings: JUST A BUNCH OF MUTANTS ENJOYING THEIR LIFE. this is peter maximoff x gen!reader if you squint your eyes

warnings: none

summary: Scott and Peter decide that it's time for a break from school and organise a small trip.

a/n: this is a bit rushed and very bad because, honestly, i had to force myself to write it due to my writer block. i hope you'll like it anyway :)

also hehe roger rabbit best 80's movies fr

You should have known that something was wrong when you heard both Peter and Scott saying that at the same time. Only one of them was already trouble alert, but both? 

"WE HAVE AN IDEA." 

You were seriously worried for your and your friend's sake. 

"What idea?" Ororo asked, her expression more calm than yours, but still clearly scared. "Please tell me none of us is going to die." Jean added. 

Peter rolled his eyes. "Ah ah. Very funny." Scott shook his head, his excitement hadn't faded for an instant. "We, my friends, are skipping school today. We're going to the mall, the arcade, the movies, even freaking shopping. So? Who's in?"

Jubilee was the first one to answer. "I am! I really need a day off." You nodded in agreement. "Sure, why not?" 

"I'll tell you why." Ororo answered. "We are the teachers, Scott. We can't simply skip school!" Jubilee shrugged. "Well I am not, and I can't wait to go out." Jean grinned at her friend, and looked at her boyfriend. "She's not so wrong." This time Peter shook his head. "Nuh-uh. I don't care. It's just a day off! What's the worst that could happen?" 

You chuckled. "I can't believe I'm about to say it, but they're not entirely wrong."

"Did you just say we're right?"

"That's so not what I said." 

"I think that's exactly what you said-"

"Enough!" Ororo said, exasperated. "Fine! We'll go to the mall or whatever you want to do!" Scott and Peter ran to their friend to hug her. "You're the best, you know that?" The young mutant laughed. "I know."

~~~

"Ok so we all agree-" 

"That you suck at pac-man? Yeah. Yeah we do." Scott stuck his tongue out at you, making you chuckle. "That's not true, I'm great."

"Scott love, you got the lowest score." Jean made him notice, the yellow numbers flashing at him from the game screen. “That does not mean I’m not good.” He replied. You laughed. “Yeah, it just means we’re better than you.” He raised his hand to take his glasses off, but Ororo stopped before he could. 

“First, you’d kill her. Second, remember what you promised: no mutations allowed today. Only a group of normal people hanging together.” Peter patted her bak. “Yes Ororo don’t worry. Y/n? You up next. What do you want to do now?” You tapped your finger on your chin. “Who framed Roger Rabbit.” It was more of a question than a sentence. “What’s that?”

“A new movie that came out a few days ago. It’s this detective who helps a cartoon solving a murder.” 

“A what helps a what solving a what?” 

“They’re right, I heard of it too, it actually sounds pretty cool!” Jubilee agreed with you. “Hm, I’d like to see this Roger Rabbit too.” Kurt said, shyly. “Sounds like a plan then. To the movies!” Jean exclaimed excitedly. After paying the tickets, they noticed that they were the only ones in the room. “Woah. At least we have all the seats for us!” Scott started running towards the first line. “Right! I wanna try all of them.” Peter added, following his friends. 

Ororo shook her head. “And when you’re gonna realize this was a terrible idea, don’t come to me.” She said, referring to her friends as Peter and Scott run through the room. you chuckled and just picked a seat, as the movie began.

Almost two hours later, once it was over, you got up and stretched. “Well? How was it?” Storm smiled. “Ok I’ll admit it. It was fun, I liked it.” Jubilee threw her arms around yours and Ororo shoulders. “LIked it? I loved it! It was amazing.” Kurt nodded. “Yeah, it was pretty cool.” Peter and Scott catched up behind them as they got out of the theater. “I agree, even if I’m not sure I understood everything.” 

You rolled your eyes at Peter's comment. “Well, you spent the entire movie changing seats every time a scene switched. To get a “full experience”. Jean scoffed. “Ah, not true. They stayed pretty still during Jessica’s performance.” Peter blushed as Scott hugged his girlfriend from behind. “C’mon, you know I got a thing for one redhead and one redhead only.” He smirked, and kissed Jean who smiled at him. 

Jubilee faked gag as the others, you included, laughed. “It’s late. We should get going.” Ororo interrupted them, after they stopped laughing. “Nah, it’s only- 8 p.m.?” Jean scrunched her nose. “It is kinda late.” This time it was Scott who rolled his eyes. “Fine, party pooper.” He finally agreed. As you all headed back to the mansion, you stopped behind to watch the group. Jean and Scott were holding hands, Jubilee and Kurt laughing at something Ororo had said. 

Peter noticed you had slowed down, and stopped to walk with you. "What are you thinking of?” You smiled, looking forward. “Us. Our friendship. It’s in moments like these that I’m glad I know you guys.” Peter laughed. “Aw, ‘cause you’re in others?” You punched him playfully, laughing with him. “No, I get what you mean. I barely had my mom before this and now… I have true friends.” He took your hand. “I’m glad to know you guys too.” You smiled at him and squeezed his hand, before he yelled to Scott “Race to the mansion, last one to arrive owes everyone a dinner!” Then took you in his arms and started running. Even at full speed, you could still hear the familiar groan of Scott.

“Damn it Maximoff!”

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Chapter Two: Wouldn't It Be Nice?

Rated: PG

~ Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long And wouldn't it be nice to live together In the kind of world where we belong? ~

It was 7:00 AM and the sun was up and out, and so too were the people. True to the fashion of only the grumpiest of bears, the bleary-eyed citizens of Copper Harbor were up and sleepwalking to work, falling asleep at red lights, and glaring into the black depths of their coffee as they tried to find a will to wake up or a reason to keep existing. Or both. Horns blared, children cried, people cursed, and that one guy slammed his head into a pole as he stared at a dude dressed as Batman who was directing traffic. (I don't think he had the authority to do that, but I wasn't going to challenge him.) All and all it was a fairly normal morning. At least in this town.

Like the entire population of Copper Harbor, a grand total of 100 or so permanent residents, I too hated mornings. But not for the same reason everyone else did. Sensory overload is my constant companion, but it's never worse than it is from 7:00 to 9:00 AM. That’s another reason I was staying in Copper Harbor. You could probably fit the town's entire population in the auditorium of the local high school. But even here, I could hardly stand the headache the morning rush gave me. I don't think I could bear living in a big city.

Although this time, things weren't as bad as they normally were because this time, I had a distraction. Engrossed in my conversation with my new friend, I managed to block out some of the noise. I found it rather strange that someone would be willing to keep chatting for so long, it had been hours and hours. I kept waiting for Jack to tell me that he had to go or something, but he never did. When I asked about it, he just said he couldn't sleep. Eventually, I knew it was me who was going to have to end the conversation. I had things to do, and I knew that, but I didn't want to be the one to say goodbye.

"Are you gonna get moving, or are you gonna keep talking to your new boyfriend?" A voice asked from above me. I looked up.

Perched atop a large green dumpster to my left, sat a boy who looked around the age of 18. He had fair skin and auburn hair that was long enough to show off its gorgeous natural curls while not being long enough to be annoying. (I was absolutely jealous of his hair. The guy's locks were heavenly!) He wore a playful smirk on his face and his hazel eyes flashed as they crinkled up at the corners, alight with mischief. He held his face between his hands and tried to flutter his eyelashes in an attempt to mock me. "Do you wuv him, Marty? Do you wuv your wittole Jack? Tell me how much you wuv him!" He teased. I rolled my eyes. I knew this boy well. His name was Isaac, and he was a royal pain in my behind.

"Isaac?" I addressed him, sweetly. Swiveling my head to peer up at him, I smiled the fakest smile I could muster.

"Yes, Marty?" Isaac asked, matching my level of false sincerity.

"Do the world a favor, sweetie, and shut your mouth," I told him. Isaac just grinned at me.

"No!"

I rolled my eyes.

"If I could throw a rock at you right now, I would," I huffed.

"But, alas, you cannot!" Isaac smirked and slid off of the dumpster. He landed on his feet before coming to stand over me. I didn't look up at him.

"One of these days I'm gonna find a way," I muttered.

"You've been saying that for five years and yet you've never made good on that threat. Are you ever going to put your money where your mouth is?" He taunted. I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed.

Using the wall behind me as support, I pulled myself onto shaking feet. Despite every part of my body screaming for me to stop, I stretched myself out. Now, I looked up at the boy in front of me.

Isaac was just a little under six feet tall and scrawny like a twig. His good looks would have had all the girls chasing him. Isaac looked like most other boys his age in terms of physique. That is, if you excluded the massive gaping wound, red and raw, that decorated most of the right side of his neck.

The wound remained there, frozen, as fresh as the day he received it. It remained as fresh as the day it killed him. His pale, ashen skin and the purple rings surrounding his young, hopeful eyes bore the tell-tale signs of death by blood loss.

Isaac was a ghost.

"Don't you have something, anything, better to do?" I asked, glaring at him.

"Nope!" He replied, popping the 'P'. "But you do! So, tell your boyfriend bye-bye and get going!" I huffed at him but did as I was told.

Sent: 9:19 AM

Sorry, Jack but I have to go now. Thanks for talking to me!

Received: 9:20 AM

Okay, I guess I'll talk to you later. Have a great day and stay safe!

I smiled at Jack's simple kindness and tucked my phone into my back pocket. When I looked up, Isaac was standing there and tapping his foot impatiently.

"Ya done, lovebird?" He sighed dramatically. I gave him a prim little nod.

"I am indeed─" I used my arm to motion to the mouth of the alleyway with a dramatic bow─ "Shall we be off then, my liege?" Isaac grinned and rolled his eyes.

"Forsooth! Onward my fair servant!" He began marching dramatically to the mouth of the alley and continued out onto the sidewalk. I shook my head and followed after him, without the marching. I guess that was one of the advantages of being a ghost, if nobody could see you, you could do any of the weird crap you wanted to do, and nobody would ever stare.

When I caught up to my cadaverous companion, I pulled my phone from my pocket and pretended to be calling someone. That was the only way I could talk to Isaac in front of the public eye without seeming insane. I didn't think I was insane. But if I was, would I really know it?

"Isaac, I swear if you call me 'servant' again, I will kill myself just so I can beat your sorry, spectral rear end into whatever is after the after-life. Savvy?" I threatened. Isaac turned and started walking backwards, passing through several people that I then very-quickly had to dodge. Isaac could be a bit of a butt that way.

"Yes, Sir! I mean, Ma'am!" He exclaimed, sending me a mocking salute. I just groaned.

"Where were you last night anyway?"

"Watching the Lord of the Rings marathon in the theater, Sir! I mean, Ma'am!"

"Remind me, why do I let you hang around again?" I muttered, quieter than before. "Excuse me." I had to shove my way past a rather beefy guy who was smoking and blocking the entrance to the town's minimart. Isaac just walked through him. He waited until I got inside to answer the question that I had intended to be rhetorical.

"Because I'm adorable, cheerful, and useful to your criminal lifestyle. So, what are we stealing today?" I grimaced at his comment.

"First of all, it's not criminal for me to survive. Second, is it really stealing if I have no way to get money? And third, I need a hairbrush, some hair ties and a jacket because this cardigan is definitely not enough," I said through clenched teeth as I smiled and nodded at the teenage girl behind the counter. She was tall, blond, and I would bet 10 bucks that her name was Tiffany. She nodded back and resumed whatever it was she was doing on her phone. Isaac however was not done talking to me and ticked his reactions to my comments off on his fingers.

"One, true. Two, yup. And three, cool, but that last one's gonna be hard."

"Well in that case, I guess you better do your job really well. See, ya on the other side, mate."

Isaac grinned lopsidedly at me and I pretended to hang up the phone.

I walked further into the store and pretended to look at the hair care section. I gave Isaac the signal, scratching the back of my head. Isaac swept his hand along the length of a shelf, knocking all the containers of peanut butter to the floor. The girl behind the counter whipped her head around to look at me with wide eyes. She looked from me to the peanut butter and back to me. Gaping at the good 15 feet of distance between me and the fallen peanut butter.

"What was that?" She asked, apprehensively. I gazed back at her with wide eyes of my own.

"I have no idea. They just fell off. All by themselves!" I lied. Isaac snickered. The cashier raked a hand through her hair and hopped over the counter to pick up the fallen peanut butter.

While she was paying attention that, I scooped up some hair ties and tucked them into the hidden pocket I had sewed into the inside of my cardigan. Snatching up a brush, I stuffed it into one of my too-big, black, knee-high boots I wear specifically for this purpose. Then, I moved to help the girl with the peanut butter situation. I ducked down and grasped one of the jars that had rolled underneath the shelving unit and handed it to her with a smile. She then put it back on the shelf.

"Thanks for your help, sweetie!" She said, talking down to me. I struggled to hold my smile. I didn't like being talked down to. I don't care what I look like. Even taking that thing into account, she wasn't that much older than me!

"It's no problem, miss!" I raised the pitch of my voice to sound more chipper and innocent, adding in the 'miss' part to feed into her clear superiority complex. I then moved over to the section that held a bunch of jackets and coats hanging from hooks attached to the walls. I waved Isaac over to me with a quick movement of my head that most others would mistake for me flipping my hair. Isaac meandered his way through a few shelving racks and over to me. I pulled out my phone and started typing, letting Isaac read over my shoulder.

Big distraction this time. Make it mean. She called me 'sweetie'.

Isaac nodded.

"Aye, aye! ... Sweetie."

I shot him a scowl and went back to perusing the jackets.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Isaac push against one of the free-standing shelving units. It teetered and groaned before toppling to the linoleum floor with an ear-splitting bang. The head if the cashier girl shot up and she gasped before letting out a rather un-lady like stream of cuss words. Sprinting over to the fallen shelf, she desperately tried to get it back upright.

I took my chance.

I seized a fluffy black coat from one of the racks and booked my butt out of the mini-mart. The girl looked up as I pushed my way out the door.

"Hey! Stop! THEF! THEF!" She shrieked. I grinned and dashed down the sidewalk. When I reached the end of the street, I looked back and saw that cashier chasing me. I decided to show off a little. Scampering down a back alley, I boosted onto a convenient dumpster and sprung upward. The distance from the top of the dumpster to the first wrung of the ladder that led to the rooftop, was an impossible height for any normal person to jump.

My hands latched onto the freezing second wrung.

The cashier stumbled into the alleyway, gasping when she saw me hanging from the ladder. Like I said, it should have been an impossible distance to jump. I smirked at her disbelief and giggled, flicking my wrist in a wave before clambering up the ladder and to the top of the roof.

Sprinting across the roof top, I skipped to the edge and bounded over. I closed my eyes and pushed off with all my might. The wind rushed through my hair and past my face and then...

My feet crunched onto the gravel as I landed on the next rooftop.

The rooftop that had previously been twenty feet away.

An impossible distance for any normal person. Key-word normal. But that was just it. I wasn't normal.

I heard someone cheer from across the street and I looked up. Dan the Dope Man, our little town's resident dealer, was shaking his fist, hooting and hollering. He cupped his hands around his mouth and shouted to me.

"You go, Marty! Woo hoo!" He applauded me. I waved at him as I rushed to this roof's end. Reaching the edge, I did a parkour flip and touched down firmly on the next one.

The cashier girl was determined, I had to give her that. She chased me from the ground for about three more blocks before she collapsed, exhausted, onto a bench. I kept running along the rooftops, getting the occasional holler of encouragement from some enthused passerby. I leapt one last time onto the roof of Copper Harbor's town hall.

It was one of those really old town hall buildings. Like the ones in the movies. It was made of brick had a clock tower and everything. The whole old-timey shebang. Scaling onto the top of the clock tower, I grasped the spire and leaned outward over my little paradise town.

"GOOD MORNING COPPER HARBOR!" I shouted into the crisp morning breeze.

Even though it wasn't exactly pleasant, I let the few rays of sun light shine on my face as they peaked through the thick, gray winter sky. I could only take a few minutes of the direct sunshine, even as weak as it was, before I had to make my way back down the tower. I missed the days when I could lie in the sun for hours without feeling any sort of sting. Those days were now long past. When I got back to the flat part of the building's roof, Isaac was there, waiting on me.

"That was corny as Hell. You don't live in a frickin' movie." He criticized, smirking at me. I shook my hair out and brushed it back, securing it with one of my freshly nicked hair ties.

"Yeah, I know!" I replied cheerfully, feeling in a much better mood than I had been in earlier that morning. I always felt better after a run.

"One of these days I should push you off that tower just to see your face," Isaac said. I smirked at him.

"Well, if I fall, I might crush this." Reaching into my cardigan's secret pocket I extracted a five-inch Darth Vader figurine. Isaac glared at me, shaking his finger.

"If you so much as scratch Lord Vader, I swear I'll strangle you." Isaac was very protective if that figurine. Probably because his soul was tied to it. Yes, that's right. Isaac's soul was tied to a Darth Vader action figure.

"5 years you've been saying that. Are you ever you gonna put your money where your mouth is?" I jeered, quoting him from earlier that morning. Isaac frowned.

"You're not funny you know," he said.

"What are you talking about? I'm hilarious!" I scoffed with a wave of my hand.

"Let's just go home. We'll do the other thing later," Isaac sighed. I grinned at him and ran to the edge of the roof, gesturing to the snow-covered hills leading away from the town.

"And our hero sauntered off into the snow beside her trusty, albeit annoying, cadaverous compatriot!"

"Shut up."

"No!"

So the two of us left the main town and trudged over hills blanketed with almost a foot of snow. Isaac of course had no problems with the snow, walking easily over it, he made no footprints. When we came to the forest on the edge of the town, I quickly spotted the treehouse nestled between three trees about 20 feet from the start of the woods. We were home.

The tree house was built about 18 feet or so from the ground and the ladder that had once led into it was now long gone. It still laid where it had the day we’d found it, splintered and rotting under a foot of snow. Though we didn't know who had built it, Isaac and I both thanked them every day. Striding over to the thickest of the three trees the tree house was built into, I reached up and snagged the bundle of rope, thick and a little frayed we kept hidden inside a hallow knot in the wood. The other end of the rope was tied to a hook inside the tree house and I used it to climb my way inside.

I dragged the heavy wooden cover over the tree houses entrance hole then stood and surveyed my little home. It was fairly large, about 7 feet high, 20 feet long and 8 feet wide. There were blankets and pillows strewn about a mattress on the floor, a violin in the far-left corner, and a small table with a sketchbook and chess set sitting on it and two chairs set up to play. It wasn't much, but it was home now.

I walked to the shelf that lined the wall on my right and tugged this morning's spoils from their various places on my body, tossing them on the shelf. Carefully fingering Isaac's Darth Vader, I placed it gently next to my beautiful snow globe. A sudden feeling of longing washed over me, and I ached for the life I used to live. The life that I could never have back.

A silent tear slid down my cheek.

"It wasn't your fault, Marty," Isaac reminded me gently, appearing from thin air just behind me.

"I know." I turned back to him. "But that doesn't make it hurt any less."

"I know you wish you could go back and change things. I do too. But we can't, we just have to keep going. You'll find your place in this world, I know it!" He said, trying to be encouraging. I smiled at him weakly.

"Isaac, we're not supposed to be here. Neither of us belong in this world, and I wish we did. There's just no room for us. And I wish there was, that would be nice, but there's not. Not anymore. I'm gonna be stuck right here in this same moment forever. Just like I have been for the last 5 years. Deep down you know that. But at least you can move on."

"I'm not gonna move on until I can take you with me. I'm not gonna break my promise. We're going to heaven together, remember?" He tried. I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand but more just streamed down to take their place.

"Even when I do die eventually, I won't be going to heaven."

"Don't lose hope, Marty. Please?"

"I already lost it, Isaac. I lost it a long time ago. Thinking about it only makes things worse."

***

When Dean Winchester opened his eyes, he found that he was no longer in bed. Which was strange because he distinctly remembered falling asleep in the aforementioned place. He flicked his eyes about to try to determine where exactly he was. After just a few minutes, his foggy and sleep doused brain finally made sense of the information his body was feeding him.

Dean came to the unfortunate conclusion that he had fallen out of bed. Despite how unhappy he was with the results of his deduction; Dean was amazed that he had only woken up quite a while after the minor tragedy and not during the action of falling out of bed.

He must have been very tired.

But that was remedied now, and Dean felt ready to take on anything... In a few minutes. He'd have to get some coffee first. Peeling himself off the floor, he stumbled to the door and into the hall, making his way toward the smell of food wafting from the kitchen.

Now, whatever thoughts Dean had about his coherency when he walked into the kitchen and stuffed a bagel in his mouth, were not shared by the other two people in the room. If they hadn't known any better, Jack and Sam would have thought Dean was a zombie. A zombie who was hungry for bagels instead of a certain cognitive organ.

"Good morning Dean! Did you sleep well?" Jack greeted, chipper as usual. Dean frowned, snatching the entire pot of coffee, and sitting down with it at the table across from Jack.

"Mmmnhhaamuuuvggh."

"Understandable. Enjoy your coffee," Jack replied to whatever it was Dean had been trying to say. Sam raised his eyebrows at his older brother's lack of cognitive function but said nothing. It amazed Sam that he and his brother could be so different.

After a few silent minutes of nursing his coffee, the smallest bit of light began to shine through Dean's eyes. The waking process had begun. Just like the Windows 8 operating system, Dean's waking process was extremely and notoriously slow. But now Sam knew that if he were to begin a conversation with his brother, Dean would at least be able to understand it, if not participate.

"It's 10:45 Dean, just so you know, you slept for twenty-two hours," Sam informed. Dean's eyebrows flinched upward just a fraction of an inch. He clearly was yet to regain control over his facial muscles.

"Mumnnafubnna," He groaned. Jack held back a chuckle for Dean's morning state, he knew laughing out loud wouldn't go well for him. Dean wasn't someone you wanted to laugh at because Dean knew how to get revenge. A prank war was not something you wanted to entice Dean into. He would always win.

"Oh, and uh, Cas is back," Sam said. Dean looked up.

"Hm?"

"Woah, there. Careful Dean, that was almost a word!" Sam teased. Dean swallowed a piece of bagel he'd been gnawing on.

"Where?" He croaked out. Sam was about to answer but never got the chance.

"I'm right behind you, Dean." Dean jumped and spat some bagel out onto the table. Whipping his head around he glared at Cas. Jack couldn't help but snicker.

"Mmhn. Nah. Funny. Cas," Dean managed to grid out of his morning stupor. Castiel only shrugged and sat down at the table beside Dean.

"So, uh, Cas, how'd that thing go with the twenty bucks or whatever it was?" Sam asked their resident angel. Castiel frowned.

"The twenty tailed buck," He corrected.

"Yeah, that." Castiel sighed.

"No luck."

"Sorry to hear that." Cas nodded and shrugged again. Jack patted his arm.

"I'm sure you'll have better luck next time!" Jack encouraged.

"Next time is in seven hundred and eighty-two years," Cas sighed.

"Who's counting!" Jack tried to joke. Cas didn't laugh. Sometimes it could be very hard talking to Castiel.

"But I did find us a lead," The angel said, leaning forward and placing his hands on the table. The rest at the table looked up. "A very interesting one."

"Spill," Dean commanded, grumbling. Cas glanced at the bagel-eating zombie on his left and briefly wondered how Dean Winchester could be one of the best hunters in the world.

"There appears to be some extremely powerful ghost activity going on in northern Michigan. I was passing by a store and saw it on the news," Castiel told them, nodding seriously.

"You saw it on the news?" Sam asked, skeptical.

"Yes. The anchor woman said the video recording was 'going viral' or something like that," Cas answered, making air quotes with his fingers.

"Huh."

Sam pulled out his lap-top and began typing away. Jack briefly wondered how it was that Sam's laptop was always nearby when he needed it, but he quickly decided that he didn't want to dwell on that question and went back to his cereal.

"Cas, do you know where in Michigan this was?" Sam asked, looking up. Castiel nodded.

"Yes, I believe it was a Bronze Port- wait no. It was-"

"Was it Copper Harbor?"

Cas blinked before nodding again.

"Yes, I think that was it."

"Well, I think I found the video." Sam turned the laptop around for the rest to see.

Displayed on the screen was a video of the security footage of a minimart. Though it wasn't very mini for a mart. The footage was taken in black and white and although it was somewhat grainy, it was still clear enough to see the subjects. A young woman walked into the store, talking to someone on her phone. She nodded at the cashier and went to look for something in the hair care isle. Everything seemed normal, before a shelf full of peanut butter flew off the rack and crashed to the floor. Like someone had dragged their hand along the shelf and knocked everything off. But the young woman had been the only one in the store and she hadn't been anywhere near the peanut butter.

"Hey! Did you see that?" Jack exclaimed.

"What? See what?" Sam asked pausing the video.

"That woman stole something right when the peanut butter when flying. Watch it again!"

Sure enough, Jack was right. The woman had snatched some hair ties and a brush, stuffing them in a pocket and her boot, the second after the peanut butter tumbled to the floor. The four hunters kept watching. The girl who had stolen the brush and hair ties walked over to the cashier, who was picking up the fallen peanut butter. The camera never caught a glimpse of the thief's face as she ducked down and picked up one of the peanut butter jars and handed it to the cashier. Then the thief walked over to look at the jackets. She whipped out her phone and started typing something.

"What is she doing?" Castiel wondered aloud.

On the screen, the woman flipped her hair and leaned her phone outward, as if showing it to someone looking over her shoulder. But of course, there was nobody there. Then the woman tucked her phone away and went back to looking at the jackets hanging on the wall.

"Look, look, look! Right there! Did you see that?" Jack hastily pointed at a spot on the screen.

"I didn't see anything," Sam said, shaking his head.

"Rewind it and slow it down."

Sam did as Jack said. Rewinding a few seconds.

The thief on the screen went back to examining the jackets again. Jack pointed to that same spot as last time.

"Right there!"

This time Sam, Cas and Dean all saw what Jack was talking about. A face flickered into view by one of the shelves. Then, for a split second an entire ghostly form could be seen making a rude gesture at the camera, just before that shelf crashed to the floor. The thief grabbed a jacket off the rack and dashed out of the mini-mart just slightly faster than humanly possible. But the Winchesters and their two angelic companions didn't notice that part. They were too focused on the ghost. Sam sat back in his chair.

"Looks, legit. Should we check it out?"

"Yes." Jack and Cas said at the same time.

"No," Said Dean. The rest of the merry troop looked at him. "It looks legit. Doesn't mean it is." He shrugged, finishing the rest of his coffee.

"We've done more on less," Sam argued. "Besides," He continued scrolling on the laptop, "from what it says here, this isn't the only case in Copper Harbor. Crap like this has happened all over the town! Crazy, unexplainable disturbances followed by missing items. Reports go back for the last five years!"

"So that thief is using a ghost to help her steal stuff?" Jack asked, clearly exited.

"Yeah, and not just material items. Most of these reports come from the local hospital. She's stealing blood." Sam looked up at Dean who nodded.

"Sounds good enough for me."

***

"And that's checkmate, again!" Isaac shouted triumphantly. I moaned and slammed my head against the table.

"How?! How are you so good at chess?!" I shouted, my frustration at being beaten for the eighth time in a row was reaching critical mass.

"I have two words for you," Isaac smirked, counting the words off on his fingers, "Chess. Club."

"Uuuuggghhhaaa!!!"

"Wanna rematch?" I snapped my head to look back up at him.

"No!" I hurriedly shoved the chess pieces out of the way and brought out the checkers. "We're doing checkers! Lets see who's king now!" Isaac just shrugged.

"More humiliation for you, I guess."

"We'll see about that, pretty boy!"

"Mommy, mommy! She called me pretty!"

"I didn't mean it."

"I know."

"You're dead so it doesn't count."

"Well, that's just hurtful," Isaac pouted.

I smirked and pulled out my phone. Scrolling through the news and memes as I waited for Isaac to take his turn. He was always slow at checkers. As I scrolled passed a rather painful dad joke, I saw something that first caught my eye and then made my blood run cold.

"Your turn!" Isaac said. I didn't reply. I couldn't.

"Honestly, I don't know what makes you think you can beat me."

I tried to speak up.

"Isaac?"

He wasn't paying attention.

"I mean when have you ever beaten me?"

"Isaac."

"And don't say that one time with the ping-pong because we both know that doesn't count!"

"ISAAC!"

Now he looked up.

"What?"

I swallowed.

"You know how you said you always wanted to be famous?" I asked him weakly. I felt sick.

"No, no! I never said I wanted to be famous. I said I wanted to be a meme. There's a difference," Isaac said, smiling.

"Isaac?"

"Yeah, that’s my name. Why do you sound like you're gonna barf?" I turned my phone to let him see what was displayed on my screen and apparently millions of others. The footage of me and Isaac in the mini-mart.

"I think we just hit the prime time..." I said. Isaac looked up at me, if his pale, dead face could have gotten paler, I'm sure it would.

"Well, crap."

~ Wouldn't it be nice if we were older? Then we wouldn't have to wait so long And wouldn't it be nice to live together In the kind of world where we belong?

You know it seems the more we talk about it It only makes it worse to live without it But let's talk about it

Oh, wouldn't it be nice? ~

Lyrics from: Wouldn't It Be Nice by The Beach Boys

[alexafaie-asd]

It took me a while to figure out that my bipolar disorder mood swings, particularly to mania were caused by stuff more closely linked to my being autistic than bipolar.

All the support group stuff was focused on stressors and whenever I suggested stuff, they said I didn't understand what they meant - they didn't mean getting overwhelmed by sensory stuff (granted I just listed the sensory things didn't explicitly say overwhelmed since we were just making a list so I thought that bit was a given), they meant actual stressful things. Or stuff that causes anxiety in general. None of the stuff I listed "counted" as bipolar triggers.

Wasn't until I had a massive meltdown in one of the sessions (including S.I.B) that they considered that something else might be going on too. And then they realised that yeah, maybe for me my stressors aren't ones NTs would experience as triggers for their mood episodes, but given the difference in brain wiring they very much are for me.

And the fun bit is there's only so much you can do to control for sensory sensitivities. Like the sound of the boiler running is a massive issue for me, however I can't wear ear defenders to block out the noise because they press on my glasses too much which causes a different bunch of sensory issues, they amplify the sound of my blood rushing through me which is also a Bad Sound, they don't fit right so need holding on to stop them falling off (I'm an adult with a tiny head so they don't fit). Can't do earplugs due to the blood rushing sound, plus my EDS causes my ear canal to collapse under the pressure so it feels like something trying to suck my brain out through my ears... And can't just not have the heating on when needed because I have Reynaud's Syndrome and it really fucking hurts to have your extremities respond like they're trying to save your life in the arctic by cutting off blood flow. You know, how you might lose a finger or toe, but if it keeps your core warm to do that, you might survive the cold. Except in my case my body does that when the temperature drops below 24C and/or there is a breeze which my body can interpret as cooling temperature. So it can even happen when its 30C+.

But what has helped was me trying CBD oil. I'd read some journal articles on research into using CBD oil to help with bipolar disorder because it can act as both an antidepressant, but most importantly like an antimanic agent too. There were also studies on it helping with anxiety. So since I'd had bad reactions to every med I'd been trialled on for bipolar disorder and was kinda running out of options I thought it was worth a try. And the psychiatrist I saw at the time thought it was ok to try as the doses were so low in what you can buy as "food supplement" that it was unlikely to do anything negative and he felt it might not do anything positive, but like no harm trying.

And its helped me massively. Haven't had a single manic episode since taking it (used to have them very frequently as I rapid cycled) and my depression is limited to a day or two before my period when my hormones understandably get out of whack. And its pretty minor. Just get a bit teary. Which is a drastic difference from sleeping for days at a time almost (just toilet breaks) and wanting to kill myself constantly.

But what I didn't expect was how much it has helped with my sensory issues due to being autistic. People have likely seen that video of someone going into a shop which was saying you could take CBD oil to help with autism to have a yell at them. Well guess what? It can actually help! Does it make me not autistic? NO! But what it does do is raise the threshold that has to be reached before a sensory bad thing tips over into sensory overload. Am I at neurotypical levels? Still a big NO! But it feels like it slows down the signals coming in just enough that its way easier to process them as opposed to having such a massive wave of sensory input to try to wade through all the time. Still disabled, just a bit of a nicer time trying to cope you know?

Its made it easier to interact with other people too. Like before taking it, if my partner was eating something in a way that was making Bad Mouth Sounds, it would send me straight into overload & I'd either respond angrily, or meltdown or similar. Now I hear it, it still irritates me, but there's enough buffer to process "oh this is a Bad Sound, what can I do about it? Oh I could let partner know so that they can try to chew quieter". And then I'm able to actually communicate that calmly enough that it doesn't seem angry or rude. How do I know its not just that I've learned some other coping mechanism? Well I had a week without taking any CBD oil due to it being out of stock for a bit so I ran out. Guess what came back with a vengeance? That's right! My sensory issues in all their horrible not-glory. Right back to tiny amounts of Bad Sensory Thing causing a tip straight into meltdown or shutdown. And I may or may not have exploded at my partner for chewing something a bit louder than normal. They were eating a pack of crisps downstairs and I yelled at them from upstairs to shut up with how loud they were crunching on them. Except less politely because I couldn't figure out the words.

one of the things that makes autism a disability (and why some of us choose to label it as such rather than an “alternate neurotype”) is the stress. 

part of autism is just being incredibly stressed. overstimulation? stress. holding a conversation? stress. something happening to our schedule? stress. people talk about how often autism is recognized and diagnosed via our stress responses (like meltdowns) because it is just so common to see autistic people stressed because of lack of accommodations to how our brains work.

and this matters because stress kills. stress causes a lot of health issues, or it can trigger pre-existing ones by making certain chronic conditions flare up. i once had a psychiatrist very unhelpfully tell me i “just need to manage my stress” when the stress i was describing was things i could not avoid in neurotypical society and can’t “just get over”. i can do “self care” all i like but i cannot at the very base level change the way my brain inputs information and reacts accordingly.

[stickswrites]

This Is Why I Don’t Socialize (Her Shadows Ch. 2)

Makoto and I walked down the hallway, occasionally exchanging a few words, but mostly just taking everything in. When we decided we'd done enough exploring, we checked the time and saw that we still had 45 minutes until class started.

"What are we supposed to do now?" Makoto whined, putting his arms behind his head.

"We could always go bug the staff in the teachers' lounge," I suggested.

Makoto got this sly smile on his face as he nodded vigorously. So together we made our way to the teachers' lounge, where Dad and a bunch of the other teachers were sure to be. We arrived at the door to the lounge and I pushed it open. As soon as we walked in, we saw a lot of the teachers hanging out and chatting, All Might included. Also, yes, Makoto and I know about All Might, his injury, and how he can't stay in "hero form" for very long. We hang out around UA so often it would have been impossible for them to keep it a secret from us, so Principal Nezu just flat out told us what happened.

"Well, well, well," Midnight said with a smile. "Look at who got into the Hero Course!"

Makoto and I looked at each other and chuckled as we walked in. Midnight immediately stood up and came over to Mako and me.

"You two have gotten to be so much stronger since the last time I saw you," she said, patting our heads.

"Thanks, Midnight," Mako responded. "That means a lot, coming from you."

Midnight gave us a closed eye smile and walked back to her seat on the couch. Mako and I walked over to the counter that the coffee maker was on and began to make ourselves some coffee. Nobody stopped us because it wasn't uncommon for us to be here. When we were both homeschooled and UA was in session, we would spend the majority of our time in the teachers' lounge and socialize with the teachers that didn't have a class. Suffice to say, everyone was used to our presence at this point.

"What are you two doing here?"

Mako and I turned around to see Dad standing right in front of us, his eyes half-closed and his yellow sleeping bag hanging over his shoulder.

"We're making coffee," I responded. "What does it look like?"

Dad sighed dramatically before turning back around and walking to a corner in the room. He climbed into his sleeping bag and fell back asleep. Mako and I turned to each other and laughed as we waited for the coffee to finish brewing. Right as we were pouring our coffee, Present Mic came up to us with an attitude that was way too cheerful for this early in the morning.

"WHAT'S UP, MY DUDES?" He boomed. "YOU PUNKS READY TO DAB THIS DAY?!"

Internally Mako and I cringed. Mic always tried to be "hip" but the way he used slang was nothing short of cringey. I'm absolutely convinced the man gets all of his slang and memes off of Facebook.

"Yeah," Mako said. "I think we are."

"Well good job, both of you, for getting into UA," he said, talking much softer. "We're all very proud of you."

Mako and I looked around the room to see all of the teachers looking at us with varying degrees of pride in their eyes. I almost started crying, but managed to keep the tears from surfacing. Even All Might looked like he was proud of us and he'd only known us since the entrance exam ended. I bowed in thanks to everyone and saw Mako do the same out of the corner of my eye.

The two of us spent the rest of the time we had in the teachers' lounge talking to all of the teachers. We had a really nice conversation with All Might and it was a little surprising to hear how down to earth he was. After checking the time on the clock on the wall, I noticed we only had 10 minutes until class started. I nudged Mako and nodded my head toward the clock. He nodded in response upon seeing the time and we both stood up.

"Thank you for your time," we said in unison to All Might while bowing to him.

"It was my pleasure, you two," he said, waving his hand a little in embarrassment that we were bowing.

We smiled at him and quickly washed our coffee mugs in the sink. Grabbing our bags, we walked out of the teachers' lounge saying a general goodbye to all of the teachers. Just as we got out of the lounge, Dad exited with us and closed the door behind him.

"Which classroom are you going to?" I asked him.

"That's none of your business," he responded with a teasing smile. The smile fell from his face as soon as he started talking again. "Now, I can't have you two punks ruining my image. So get going."

"Got it," I responded with a chuckle.

"See you later, Mr. Aizawa!" Mako said as he and I started walking down the hallway again.

As we were walking away I could hear him muttering.

"Now where is my sleeping bag?" he asked himself. "I need to make... an impression."

Mako and I looked at each other, both having heard what he said and stifled our laughs with our hands as we walked away. As soon as we turned the corner, we started laughing openly, the sound carrying through the halls.

"So," Mako started, calming down from laughing. "We're in Class 1-A."

"Right," I responded. "So we should be just around this corner."

Sure enough, as soon as we turned the corner, our classroom was right there. The door was massive and we could hear yelling come from the other side of the door. Mako and I stood in front of the door, neither of us ready to go in yet.

"I don't know if I'm ready for this," I told Mako, voicing my concerns. "I mean, if I'm anything like my birth parents then I-"

"Stop worrying," Mako interrupted. "You are nothing like your birth parents and you're gonna do great. You won't even have to make friends with anyone if you don't want to."

"Good," I responded. "Because I don't want to make friends. I'm here to become a hero."

"I know," Mako said. "That's why we're all here."

I looked over to him and offered a small smile. He returned a grin of his own and held out his fist to me. I chuckled and gave him a fist bump before dropping the smile from my face and sliding the door to our classroom open.

It was just as chaotic and loud as before and nobody even bothered to turn and look at us besides a few of the boys that had been shouting to each other in a friendly conversation. I scanned the classroom and found my seat right next to Shoto Todoroki, a boy I had met at the recommendations exam. Mako's seat was right in front of mine, which was poor planning on our teacher's part. I was about to walk to my seat when I was stopped by a short boy with purple hair.

"Hey, hot stuff!" He said, drool practically falling out of his mouth as he tried to look up my skirt. "Why don't you come sit by me?"

"Oh come on, Mineta!" a loud blond with a lightning bolt in his hair whined as he came over to us. "Why do you get to talk to all the hotties first?"

I shared a glance with Mako before ignoring both of them and trying to walk to my seat by the window. Both of the boys stepped in front of me in an attempt to stop me.

"Hey, I'm Denki Kaminari," the blond said, a flirty smile on his face. "But you can call me anytime."

"I'm Minoru Mineta," the purple-haired pervert said.

"And I don't care," I responded flatly. "Now, move out of my way before I make you."

I glared at them and they quickly scrambled out of the way. As I made my way to my desk, I heard Mineta grumbling.

"It's not like she's even all that pretty with those scars anyway," he mumbled.

I stopped in my tracks and took a deep breath to try and keep from lashing out at him. The room went so silent that you could hear a pin drop. I heard Mako smack Mineta over the head before coming up behind me and I heard Kaminari rebuking him as well. Good to know Kaminari has some respect for women. I thought to myself.

"You good?" Mako asked softly as he put a hand on my shoulder.

I nodded silently as I began to cross the room yet again. I made it to my desk and set my stuff down next to my chair. I knew there were eyes on me, but I honestly didn't care that much. Soon enough everything went back to how it was before Mako and I entered. There was an ash blond boy at the front of the classroom who had his feet on his desk and a tall blue-haired boy with glasses rebuking him and telling him to have some respect for the school he was attending. I heard the shouting conversation again and the giggling of some girls on one side of the classroom.

"He's wrong," Mako said, turned around at his desk so that he could talk to me. I looked up at him with confusion on my face. "What Mineta said. He's wrong. Your scars don't make you look ugly at all. I think they look cool."

"Thanks, Mako," I said with a small smile.

I pulled out my phone and started playing some games on it as an attempt to pass the time and ignore the stares that lingered. Especially the stare of Shoto Todoroki. I remembered seeing him at the recommendation exam and I remembered his quirk was extremely powerful. He had managed to place second while I placed 3rd and Mako placed 5th. I wasn't sure why he was staring so intently at me, but it was slightly unnerving. I kept my face blank as I waited for class time to start. If there was one thing I was thankful to my bully for, it was my learned ability to both control and conceal my emotions. In fact, Makoto and Dad are the only people I let my guard down around. With everyone else, I act like I don't care about anything, and it's always fun to see who I can piss off by acting that way.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when the door to the classroom opened and a boy with curly green hair and freckles stood in the doorway. As soon as he entered, the rude blond and the uptight blue-haired boy started going at it again.

"Take your feet off of that desk now!" the blue-haired boy said forcefully.

I groaned quietly and buried my head in my arms as I rested them on the desk. I blocked out the conversation that happened as much as I could, but I heard bits and pieces of it. Things like the blue-haired boy was named Tenya Iida, like the pro-hero Ingenium, and how the angry blond really doesn't like the green-haired boy, Izuku Midoriya. The rest I was able to tune out, but I glanced up a few times to see Mako looking over his shoulder at me to make sure I was okay. He tapped his desk with his finger three times and I tapped his chair leg twice in response. This would seem to be meaningless to anyone except Makoto and me.

When we were younger, Makoto didn't like talking about his feelings and I didn't like talking at all. So we devised a system to ask how the other person was without words. If we were holding hands or hugging, we would squeeze three times to ask how the other person was. The person being asked would squeeze back twice if they were fine and once if they weren't okay. This translated to things like now where we would tap on objects to ask if the other person was okay and we just never stopped. So when he tapped his desk three times, he was indiscreetly making sure I was okay and me tapping his chair twice let him know I was fine.

I saw Mako's shoulders relax and I relaxed back into my arms as he tapped my foot one more time with his as a way to make sure I knew he was there when I needed him. I hooked my foot around his as a source of comfort and he did nothing to move it. I think he needed a little comfort too. That was something about Mako that I learned very quickly. He is all about helping others with their emotions and problems but tends to minimize and neglect his own, which was something I tried to not let him do around me.

"If you're just here to make friends you can pack up your stuff now."

Mine and Mako's heads snapped towards the door where we heard my dad right outside the classroom door. Our eyes were wide as we met the other's gaze.

"Welcome to UA's Hero Course," he said in the same monotone voice he used with almost everyone.

"What the hell?" I mouthed to Mako.

He shook his head in response saying he had no clue. The class quieted down as Dad talked some more and unzipped his sleeping bag.

"It took eight seconds before you all shut up," he said, gathering his sleeping bag in his arms and walking into the room. "That's not gonna work. Time is precious. Rational students would understand that."

There was a moment of silence as Dad stood in the doorway of the classroom before he spoke again. The atmosphere was tense as everyone tried to figure out why a tired man with a yellow sleeping bag was in our classroom. They were idiots. Clearly, he was our teacher, which meant so much more antagonizing towards Makoto and me. I sighed heavily and noticed Makoto do the same.

"Hello, I'm Shota Aizawa," he said. "Your teacher." Everyone was shocked for a second, but Dad didn't waste any time in pulling out a PE uniform from his sleeping bag. "Right, let's get to it. Put these on and head outside."

Everyone was confused about what we were doing. Well, everyone besides Makoto and I. We knew what his style of teaching was and we knew he wouldn't go easy on us. If anything, he'd be pushing us harder than anyone else in the class. Realizing he was serious, everyone quickly grabbed a PE uniform and headed to the locker rooms to get changed. I got changed in the corner of the girls' locker room in a successful attempt to remain unseen. I was the first one done, so I walked out of the locker room while adjusting the bracers on my arms and saw Makoto, who walked out around the same time while finishing securing the bracer on his left arm. It was a piece that his mother used when she was a pro. He had one and his sister had the other.

"Did you know?" he asked about Dad being our teacher.

"No," I responded quietly. "You know I would have told you."

We kept the topic of our conversation secret because Dad, Makoto, and I had concluded that it might be a good idea to keep my identity and the fact that I'm our homeroom teacher's daughter a secret. It wouldn't be a secret for long, but it would be helpful while it lasted. That way nobody would think he was helping me in some way.

Makoto and I made our way outside. We were the first ones to be done changing. We met my dad out on the field and shot him half-hearted glares. He just gave us a teasing smile in return but it quickly fell from his face. We looked behind us and saw more students arriving, all now wearing their PE uniforms. I sighed and pulled all of my hair back into a ponytail and pinned my bangs back with some bobby pins I had put in my pocket. I knew what was coming and having my hair in my way wouldn't help me at all.

"Alright," Dad started. "Now that you're all here, I think it's time you know what you'll be doing. Today you'll be performing a quirk assessment test."

"WHAT?!" the rest of the students asked in unison. "A quirk assessment test?"

I could see the annoyance growing on my dad's mostly expressionless face as they all repeated exactly what he had said. He turned around, probably to hide this annoyance as a brown-haired girl, whose name I had heard was Ochako Uraraka, started talking.

"But orientation!" she whined. "We'll miss it!"

"If you really want to make the big leagues you can't waste time on pointless ceremonies," Dad said firmly with his back still turned to us. The students gasped before Dad continued. "Here at UA, we're not tethered to traditions. That means that I get to run my class however I see fit." Dad looked at everyone over his shoulder." Everyone started murmuring, worried about what would happen. Makoto and I shared a glance before turning back to Dad, determined to do well. He turned around to us fully while talking. "You've been taking standardized tests most of your lives." He pulled out a phone and showed it to us. "But you never got to use your quirks in physical exams before. The country's still trying to pretend we're all created equal by not letting those with the most power excel." He glanced at Mako and me for a few seconds before continuing. "It's not rational. One day the Ministry of Education will learn." He stood up straight and turned to the angry blond. "Bakugo, you managed to get the most points on the entrance exam. What was your farthest distance throw with a softball when you were in junior high?"

"67 meters, I think," the angry blond, Bakugo, responded.

"Right," my dad said. "Try doing it with your quirk."

Everyone moved to a different part of the field and Bakugo stood in the center of a circle that was painted on the ground. Dad stood between him and the rest of us. We eagerly waited to see what Bakugo would get on his throw.

"Anything goes," Dad said blandly. "Just stay in the circle." There was a moment of pause where nobody moved. "Go on," Dad urged. "You're wasting our time."

"Alright, man," Bakugo said while stretching his throwing arm. "You asked for it."

He geared up for his throw with a big wind up and when he released it I could have sworn I heard him yell "Die!" But I could be wrong I suppose. A huge explosion left his hand as the ball soared through the air, followed by a trail of orange. Explosions. I thought. That's his quirk. Amazing! It's no wonder he got the highest score on the exam. He has so much power and brute force!

"All of you need to know your maximum capabilities," Dad said, holding the device that would measure distance in his hand. The ball landed in the distance and Dad turned back around to us. "It's the most rational way of figuring out potential as a pro hero."

He showed us the screen and in big, blue numbers we saw that Bakugo threw the ball 705.2 meters. I looked at Makoto and raised my eyebrows slightly, impressed at his throw. Makoto mirrored my expression and nodded. We had our work cut out for us.

"Whoa!" Kaminari said. "705 meters! Are you kidding me?"

"I wanna go!" the pink-skinned girl with horns said excitedly. "That looks like fun!"

I chuckled at her choice of words and I saw Makoto let a small smile through. The rest of the students kept talking about how much fun these tests would be. Idiots. I thought. He's gonna push us to our limits. This isn't supposed to be fun and it won't be.

"So this looks fun, huh?" Dad asked calmly. Everyone paused at his words. "You have three years here to become a hero. You think it's all gonna be games and playtime?" A smirk that can only be described as devious made its way onto Dad's face. "Idiots," he said. "Today you'll compete in eight physical tests to gauge your potential. Whoever comes in last had none and will be expelled immediately."

Everyone immediately made noises of protest. Makoto and I shared a look and I nodded. Dad was serious. Even if it was one of us that came in last, we'd be expelled. He wouldn't play favorites. Dad interrupted everyone's internal monologues about how they would need to do their best with more talking.

"Like I said," he started. "I get to decide how this class runs. Understand? If that's a problem, you can head home right now."

"You can't send one of us home!" Uraraka said, stepping forward to challenge Dad. "I mean, we just got here. Even if it wasn't the first day. That isn't fair!"

I scoffed and felt some eyes turn to me. Immediately Dad started talking again, though.

"Oh, and you think natural disasters are?" he asked. "Or power-hungry villains? Hm? Or catastrophic accidents that wipe out whole cities? No. The world is full of unfairness. It's a hero's job to try and combat that unfairness." An air of understanding seemed to wash over the students as Dad continued to talk. "If you wanna be a pro, you're gonna have to push yourself to the brink. For the next three years, UA will throw one terrible hardship after another at you. So go beyond. Plus ultra style." He smiled again, this time a little more reassuring. "Show me it's no mistake that you're here."

After he finished talking, I could hear everyone chattering to themselves about how they needed to do well. I tried to calm my nerves that were rapidly growing. If there's one thing I've never liked, it's being singled out and made the center of attention. The fact that we would be doing most of these tests one at a time in front of our classmates was enough to get my heart racing. Sensing my nerves, Makoto grabbed my hand tightly. Much tighter than he would have if he was simply doing it for my benefit. I squeezed his hand three times to ask if he was okay. He squeezed twice at first, but a few seconds later squeezed again. He wasn't sure. He was nervous, we all were. These tests could make or break us.

"Now then," Dad started. "We're just wasting time by talking. Let the games begin."

------------------------------------------------------------

A/N

I hope you all enjoyed today's chapter! The picture at the top is Makoto. On the left is his everyday outfit and on the right is his hero suit. Again, Makoto belongs to my friend, but the artwork is mine. I'm super excited for the next chapter. Thanks for reading!

-Sticks

Word count: 3880 words

[likeit-or-leaveit]

Pairing:

Aimee Carrero as Skylar Muñoz / Lucas Till as Paul Deckery

Insp: “The Mechanic” by Rascal Flatts

Word count: 2400

Series: theElementalProject

Tag list because I used your gifs

@theclassymike @fyeahlucastill @nintendo @macgyvercairo @macspaperclips @playbucky @thisgameissonintendo

The Mechanic

Paul POV

When I'm broke down, you're the mechanic

“Paul. You’re overdoing it again.” Skylar scolded. I could hear her feet patter on the cold concrete as walked into the shared garage. I didn’t say anything, just tinkered with the car above me. Thinking. Times like these my friends would find me in the tinkering in my own head.

Life hasn’t been easy for me for the past 14 years. My dad left my mom, my brother Jack and I when I was 8. When I was 12 and 17 Jack, he and mom were doing their best keeping the house afloat. I picked up a hobby at the age of 12 fixing cars here and there to do my part to keep the house a float. High school came and I found my tribe 8 people that 4 girls and 3 guys who were my chosen family.

I felt especially close to two of them, Cooper and Skylar. Cooper was my right hand man and although our childhood lives were completely different we still understood each other. Then there was Skylar, she also had the same upbringing as Cooper but she was understanding. She looked out for me but let me keep my pride.

Like the time I lost my day job because I had been with my mom In the hospital, someone had to be with her Jack was deployed. He couldn’t be there. Someone had to stay and wait for results, look out for her. Cooper and Skylar were by my side taking turns bringing me food and checking on me. Lord knows, I wouldn’t have eaten if it wasn’t for them. I wasn’t hungry, just anxious. But they were there, nonetheless.

And now, this past week I’d gotten broken up with. Stephanie Daniels left me for this karate sensei guy. I guess her mechanic boyfriend wasn’t enough. I kept thinking about her. I had planned to propose this summer. We would’ve been together 6 years in June. Now, a little velvet box sat in my sock drawer taking up space. I kept replaying all the happy times. Then watching her walk away with guy. My eyes teared up a bit. I blinked then back quickly.

I felt a little nudge on my outer thigh.

“Paul.” She cooed softly changing her tone. I slid out from underneath the car, she gave me soft smile as she knelt down beside me. I looked like a deer hit with headlights. “You alright? You always come down here and hide when you’re thinking.” She asked softly. I nodded, still in my thoughts.

“Yeah, uh fine. Doll, I am fine.” I stammered, my voice broke a bit. Then I, slid back under the car. Truth was, I wasn’t fine. I was in my head again. Coming into my powers had me a mess. I didn’t know when I’d lose my cool next and turn to stone or leave a muddy mess anywhere. I didn’t like her seeing me out of it. I didn’t want her to have to fix me.

When I'm broke down, you're the mechanic
And when I'm mean, you're romantic
And when I cry, you're the sexiest clown ever seen
You fix me

“Paul, you’re using the pet names again.” She called out to me before she squeezed my thigh softly to get my attention. “Hiding in the garage, tinkering and using pet names. Decker what’s wrong?” She asked softly.

None of them knew Stephanie and I had broken up. I still did my rounds at the club as Cooper’s wingman, on fridays as per our usual trips. Dating someone or not. It was guys night. I sat at the bar drinking, watching everyone dance.

I went this Friday, last night, drank more than usual. Feeling lost, got drunk. Came home at 2 am, was walked to my room by Cooper. He didn’t expect to babysit me. He didn’t have to babysit me. But, he did. Making sure I got into bed and had aspirin waiting me in the morning.

I took it without food. I wasn’t hungry. I just got up and made my way to the garage before anyone got up. I wanted to be alone. “Deck— errrryyyyy,” she sang my name trying to draw me out of my thoughts.

“Yes, Doll.” I said, my voice a lot steadier than a few minutes ago. She tugged on my jeans again. “I am fine. Stop fishing for info. Okay, doll?” I heard a sigh, fall from her lips. She knew something wasn’t right. I didn’t want her to push.

“What time did you guys get in last night?” She asked.

“Two am. Why?” I murmured, hoping she’d drop whatever she was about to ask. “Do I have a curfew, mom?” She couldn’t see the grin playing on my lips.

“Since, you’re calling me mom. When was the last time you ate? If you say last night at 6ish during dinner, I am kicking your ass.” She stated matter of factly. “I know you spent the whole night drinking. I heard you drunkenly arguing and moaning at Cooper about something.” Shit. That caught my attention. My eyes started to water again. “I know something is up. Might as well spill.” She snarked with a chuckle.

When I'm a sinner, you're a King James
And when I'm lost, you're the map's missin' page
And when I'm shakin', you're steady like stone
You see, you fix me


I rolled out from under the car again, sniffing back a few tears then looked at Skylar. Her face fell seeing mine. My eyes welled up with tears, her whole expression soften. I sat up beside her and pushed my hair back. By now I was covered in sweat and oil. I was dirty, sweaty and now willing myself not to cry. I swallowed back a sob. I knew she was still next to me, I didn't want to make eye contact.

I couldn’t help it anymore, I let out a strangled whimper and cried quietly with my arms on my knees supporting my body. I just let it out. She grabbed my wrist and pulled me into her chest. I cried into her she just ran her fingers through my hair, and ran her fingers down my back soothingly.

“Hey, hey. It’s okay, Paul. Let it out.” She said not knowing why I was crying. She was just there as she always was. Calming me down.

“We were gonna get married.” I cried into her shoulder. I felt her nod then she placed a kiss on my dirty hair, not caring about the grease. “Skyyyyy, I bought a ring. I was gonna propose, in June. She left me.” I cried harder, she wrapped her arms around me whispering into my hair, things like ‘it’s okay,’ and ‘it’s gonna be okay’ I just sobbed into her body. “I know it hadn’t been easy for us since the powers. I was gonna tell her about them. But— but — she’s gone. She wanted someone else.” My voice fell into a whisper. I knew there was no way to get her back. I looked back up at Skylar who was now teary eyed.

“Stephanie doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.” She affirmed, I looked down at my hands. “You’re a great man, sweet kind and caring man. Look at me,” i locked eyes with her. “If she can’t see that her loss. Okay?” I nodded then cried into my hands some more.

I'd be crazry baby, lost forever
Blowin' around in stormy weather
Like a bunch of dead leaves


“It’s been one week since she left me. It hit me last night. I got drunk,” I divulged to Sky, who nodded understandingly as I sniffed tears and wiped the tears from my face. “Like really drunk, sloppy drunk. Skylar, I didn’t even tell Cooper last night. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts this morning.” I confided, She mouthed an ‘I know’ before caressing my cheek. I leaned into the touch, bowing my head into her hand.

It had been awhile since, almost 2 months actually, Stephanie and I were intimate, she was always busy with her karate, her job and apparently that guy. I had been touch starved.

“I didn’t mean to break down in front of you. You didn’t need to see this. I just— uh— I don’t know,” I stammered again my voice cracking. I was starting to fall back into the depression that went along with the break up, wanting nothing more than to be held, to be comforted.

“Hey, hey. None of that.” She said opening her arms again. I melted into her body again, my face buried into her shoulder. It’s like she knew without me having to say a word. “It’s okay,” she whispered, carding fingers through my hair again. “Just relax. Okay?”

Truth is, if she hadn’t come here to check in on me I would’ve suppressed it for a little until someone would’ve done something to piss me off. Then, I would’ve lost my shit. The walls I would’ve created would’ve fell. I would’ve punched an actual wall to feel something. After that, I would’ve probably came to Skylar like a pup with my tail between my legs asking to be mended. Asking her to clean my wound. We would’ve sat in silence, in our shared bathroom. She’d clean the wound and bandage it, then pull the plaster bin that I had hid under the vanity. She’d watch me fix the wall. This happened every time I got too angry or too sad. All in silence. No tears on either end. No pity from her. Just a quick fix.

I'd be a boarded up house on a dead end street
Old Chevy on blocks, leakin' gasoline
Oh it ain't hard to see
Broke down is where I'd be
Baby you fix me

This time it wasn’t a quick cold fix. This was the slow warm reassurance I needed. I needed to feel loved, wanted and cared for. I had felt like a Chevy on blocks for a while. The past few months had been cold, in my relationship. Stephanie and I had been like ships passing in the night, cold but cordial. One sided love, I still loved her although she had been cold. I felt I would die alone

Skylar brought me out it, bringing me back to life. Her arms were always warm and inviting.

“I don’t want to die alone, Skylar.” I blurted into her shoulder. She was startled by the comment pulling away from the hug. I felt like my tires had gone flat in a rainstorm.

“Don’t you ever say that.” She said, grabbing my chin, softly with one hand. “You won’t die alone. You’ve got people who love you and who understand you. Never say that.” She searched my eyes. “Do you understand me?” I nodded. “As long as I am around you will never die alone. Okay? I mean it.”

When I'm cold, you're on fire
And when I'm flat, you're air for the tire


I nodded in response. She stood up beside me and held a hand out for me I took it. “Let’s go grab some snack then get you cleaned up. Then watch a movie. It’s just us today. Everyone is working except Coop he’s out with Tyler.” She informed me. “So, Adam Sandler movies and snacks?” We passed the kitchen, grabbing drinks and snacks. Dropping them onto my bed grabbing a sleep shirt as I was dragged along by Skylar

She pulled me into our bathroom by my wrist. I took of my shirt and sat on the toilet, she sat on the tubs edge filling a small bucket with warm water and soap from the tub tap. She ran a washcloth across my cheeks, humming softly content with the seeing the scum slowly leave my skin.

I grabbed her wrist softly as she brought the wash cloth one last time to my face. “Thank you,” I murmured. She smiled softly not saying a word, wiped my face. Emptied the bucket cleaned up after us. I sat on the toilet, watching her, flutter around the bathroom putting stuff away. “I know that I don’t tell you enough, how thankful I am to have you in my life.” I said dropping my head again. “I never said thank you, for dealing with me after Jack left. Or even, for staying at the He hospital with me while I waited on mom’s results. For feeding me, making me eat when I waited, I know I am difficult.” I rambled, fiddling with a hand towel she had given me to dry my face. “Being my friend can’t be easy.” I chuckled humorlessly, rambling on. “I can’t imagine how Stephanie felt dating me. She always complained about everything I did but, you never have.” I didn’t notice she came back to sit next to me taking the towel from my hands softly.

“It doesn’t make sense to complain.” She smiled.

“I’ve crushed my hands on walls. You’ve had to clean my wounds.” I argued.

“I don’t have to you up. I want to.” She said, taking my hands in Hers inspecting some of the scars that now decorated my hands.

“You bought, spackle to fix walls and hid it in our bathroom.” I whined.

“Because, I know you waited until everyone went to bed before fixing the wall, Paul.” She winced, looking up at me. “You’d act so embarrassed after punching the wall, you acted like you were taking the walk of shame to the garage to get the spackle.” She ran her thumb across my knuckles. “I know how you get. I figured I’d save you from that.”

I laughed a bit my face red.

“Go get changed, get in bed and pick a movie. I’ll join you in a few. Changing into shorts.” She went out her door, I went into my bed sat under the covers. I picked Billy Maddison. She came out a few minutes later and sat beside me.

“Can I lay my head on your lap?” I asked softly, expected to say no. Instead she pulled the covers off and patted her lap to invite me in. She carded her fingers through my hair until I fell asleep.

And when I'm rain through the clouds your sunshine screams

You fix me

‘Cause

When I'm broke down, you're the she’s my mechanic

[hidden-otaku-stuff]

(1) Hello I am back!! I'm sorry it's been long, these past couple of weeks have had me swamped with homework :( and yet I still didn't do it all 🤡 also get ready for a bunch of messages because 1.) responses and 2.) my thoughts on Lockscreens. Spoiler: I am Emotional haha. Aww, thank you :') I used to think it was weird to give yourselves nicknames but I'm past that now haha. Another one I go by sometimes is "Lizard" because I stick my tongue out a lot when I'm talking??

(2) and people think I'm cold blooded because I get really cold easily and like to bask in the sun. I mostly just did traditonal sketches and a lot of screencap redraws. I want to get into art again, but I'm taking it slow for now and focusing more on my writing. And I feel that too LOL. I'm going to start a blog dedicated to reblogging x reader fics that I like because I'm too embarrassed to do so on my main blog (I tell all of your followers 🤡)

hey Honeymoon! as long as you’re taking care of yourself, that’s all I care about 💞 i’m gonna post my responses into two parts. a Lockscreens segment after you send in the rest of your thoughts and a get-to-know-you part for now!

(also I’M FROM CA TOO AND WHY ON EARTH ARE YOU SENDING ME MESSAGES AT 3AM OML)

ngl, i feel like the best person to give you a nickname is yourself! i jokingly gave myself the nickname ‘Daddy’ and that’s literally become my “rave” personality LMAO. but i can understand why some people think it’s weird 🤷 honestly lizard is a bad-ass nickname !! i’m the same way - being in the cold makes me sooo sleepy and i’d rather bask in the sun 😂

i’d love to see your artwork or writing sometime! please feel free to send it over 🥰

(3) Honestly even with all my issues it's kind of nice being a hopeless romantic! Like you said it gives me the chance to day dream haha. Maybe I have my head in the clouds a lot but sometimes it's nice to be there. There's so many, but I think it's a tie between enemies to lovers and friends to lovers. I love the drama and comedy from the former but I'm so Soft for the latter, and that's highkey how I want my relationship to start.

(4) I think building that bond with someone before you even start dating them is really sweet, and having that connection by the time you commit to each other is 💓 I'm sorry you've been having writers block, that's the worst :( if it helps, the past two chapters have turned out amazing, I love them so much!! I think the closest I got to hardcore shipping something that wasn't canon was RinHaru? But there was also a lot of tension and affection in their relationship so I could see it being canon

there’s nothing wrong with having dreams! just so long as you can ground yourself at the end of the day. 

enemies to lovers is always the funniest for me to read TBH. because it’s such an inevitable cliche haha. friends to lovers though -- oooo my heart. 

the best relationships start with friendship. it’s the most authentic imo. like for me, it’s exhausting bearing my heart open to new people each time i want to get involved with someone romantically. but having someone who already knows you inside out??? swoon. what about a trope you dislike?

ah tyty, i’m glad you enjoyed them! the writers’ block wasn’t too bad for these chapters. i’ve had them typed up for a few weeks now :’) 

rinharu is so cute though! but Harukoto (or whatever the ship name is tbh) is super cute too. but maybe i just really like the best friend to lovers trope LMAO

(5) I just looked at their insta and !!!!!!!!!! that's so cute! I like bokuaka but I've never looked into it as much as others, but their art made me have Feelings lol. I think that is a good view to have on family tbh. I've developed a relationship with my blood family and we're close, but there's something special about the relationships and love you have for people you choose to stay with. I love Tiana!! I think she's a really underrated Disney character :(

(6) She really encompasses Disney's message of working hard to achieve your dreams, and she's a strong, independent woman without being closed off and rejecting her feelings. I think it's so cute and cool that she had that much of an impact on you :D Oof, I get that 💀. Men are gross 🤢 I don't get it very often because I live in SoCal and tbh to a lot of other people brown just equals mexican lol. They're right but I really don't look full mexican. Portuguese and Islander people can tell though

bokuaka art makes me have ~ feelings ~ i also really like @/liann1009 and @/maddox_rider on IG! (tbh idk if they have a tumblr whoops) liann1009 does a lot of OiHina whereas maddox_rider does bokuaka which is ridiculously cute too 🥰 

DUDE OMG YES!!! Tiana and Kita (from Atlantis) are under-rated QUEENS who deserved better!! we need representation out here in this b*tch!!! 

idek why, but some people think i look hispanic 🙃 but yes bby, men are gross and should be better!! i have yet to meet a man who deserves to stand on equal ground to me, imma be real. (2d men don’t count but y’know). does it bother you when people mistake your ethnicity? 

(7) Thank you!! Ngl it's kind of scary wondering about what the industry is going to be like because I'm sure I will run into a lot of biased people and sources, but learning to navigate that is just part of the job. Of course there's people who will read biased sources and attack you too, but you can't always escape those people :/ and thank you love, you're so sweet 💕 That's really admirable! It takes a lot of work and creativity to start a business, I'm sure you'll be successful 😊

(8) what kind were you thinking of? and psych is super cool too! Having that understanding of people and the world can be really eye opening and fun :D It's okay, he was one of my favorite teachers but looking back he was an asshole. He had his good/funny moments and did a lot for me, but he also abused some of editors in my journalism class, and some friends of mine :/ He wouldn't appreciate their work, sometimes insult them, and even encouraged my friend to not sleep for the sake of the paper

i’m positive that you’ll do just fine once you get out there! it seems like you have a pretty thick skin :) 

i really wanted to open a business to help support under-represented groups receive an education - with major focus on minority groups such as orphans/foster children, veterans, and the homeless. there’s so much logistics that tbh i’m too ~stressed~ to think about so i’m tabling that for awhile :’) 

bruhhh fuck that teacher. drop his addy, i just wanna talk real q 💞   if you can’t support all of your students, then there is no point in being a professor!! there is literally 0 reason to be rude when you’re in a position of power, especially when it involves someone’s passion, career, and/or education.

(9) I just remembered that there's a limit to how many asks you can send in a certain amount of time so if these suddenly stop I'm sorry! I'll come back when I can haha. I wouldn't say I'm all that great tbh, but I'm proud of a lot of my works LOL. My favorite part about it is using makeup and tools to just turn into something else. Wounds are always fun, but making yourself a gargoyle or some other creature is what makes it so interesting to me.

(11) I'm OBSESSED with the makeup and costumes from LOTR. It's my biggest inspiration. I can go on about it haha. That's so cool!! Being a part of the whole production, especially all sides to it, sounds so fun. Do you have any favorite memories from your time in high school? I'd love to hear them if you have any :O Confession: I have never seen any of those asdfkljvk. I know I really should though and it's on my to do list ! I've heard really great things about all of them !

imma be real, i didnt know there was a limits on asks LMAO. i did hear that they sometimes get eaten though, so i really hope that doesn’t happen 😅 

we all start somewhere. your first step will never look like someone else’s, nor should it. as long as it’s something that you can look back upon and be proud of and know that you’ve grown from, that’s all that matters! 

just imagining someone using makeup to turn themselves into a gargoyle has my head spinning  🤣 like ya girl can barely do her eye-makeup, let alone anything as intense as that! what’s been the most difficult project? 

DUDE, I LOVE MEDIEVAL-HISTORICAL WORKS! like the dresses from that Mary from Reign wears has my heart so softtttt. dfsnosdf. please!! tell me some of your fav things about LOTR  💖

omg high-school was so long ago, i don’t think i have any favorite memories from it 🙃 i think the opening night of a production would be the best. listening to the audiences reactions as the performers left their hearts on-stage, seeing all the pieces fall together, that was always absolutely incredible. wbu, what did you enjoy about hs? 

i have very strong opinions on those musicals LMAO. i can talk about them forever  🤩

[kaoru-takaida]

Final Fantasy XIV: A KaoKao Short #1

Alphinaud walks into the mess hall looking rather skeptical at the Au'ra, peacefully reading as she sipped on warm apple cider. She looks up at him. “Ah, Alphinaud!” She smiles warmly at him. “I was just reading this book that you might like-.” He gives her a scowl before lifting a scroll eye level to her.

“What in bloody hells is this?” He asks, a slight hiss in his talk. “You told Minfillia you’re joining the Scions officially?” Alphinaud places the scroll on the table. He hadn’t liked the idea of Kaoru following him and his sister around to begin with here in Eorzea. And now with Alisaie and Alphinaud at a loss of cooperation, Kaoru elected to stay with him rather than tail his sister. The thought behind her reasoning insults him. Following him around like a puppy and waiting to “protect” him. HIM?!

Kaoru’s smile fades. “I did not mean to offend…” She begins.

“Tis precisely my point…” Alphinaud interjects. “You do not mean to do anything but you’ve proceeded to both annoy and enrage me by following me and watching my every move like a hawk…” Alphinaud places his hands on the table, leaning forward. “Tell me again why you follow me around…”

Kaoru hesitantly glances between Alphinaud and the scroll. Now she’s the one who scowls. “That’s none of your concern, Alphinaud… Besides, I thought that with your lofty goals and uncanny knack of finding trouble, you’d welcome an adventurer at your side.” Alphinaud stands straight before scoffing and crossing his arms.

“Just how weak do you take me for?” Alphinaud asks. “And should I be in need of an adventurer at my side, what makes you think I would want a Sharlayan Bard who’s unable to take a hint when she is not needed?”

Kaoru gasps slightly. “That was uncalled for… Why does mine becoming a Scion enrage you so?” Kaoru stands now. “Becoming a Scion would be an honor. And Master Luisouix is a hero of mine as well. So I-.”

“Do not use my grandsire’s name in lieu with your personal gain so lightly, Kaoru…” Alphinaud begins. “To be frank, you’d had no reason or business to pursue my sister and I to Eorzea. Not one I can see, at any rate. You should have stayed with father and the rest of the House. You are the sole heiress of our sister house. So why bother making a name here?”

Kaoru doesn’t say anything. Only stares at Alphinaud a moment before closing the book and swiping the scroll from the table. “Very well then… if mine being here is such a burden on you, then I’ll make myself scarce.” She walks forward before stopping beside Alphinaud. She sighs and looks over at him. “A word for the wise, though… YOU shouldn’t make light of my lofty goals either… Not when you clearly do not see the whole picture…” She looks at the floor before scoffing a bit. “You’ll have your leave of me…” And she walks away as Alphinaud turns to see her off.

He’d begun to cool off when he’d noticed she’d forgotten the book behind. He sighs in exasperation. “Does her foolishness ever abate?” He lifts the book from the table. When he does, the bookmaker slips out and onto the table. He notices, and picks it up. But upon closer examination he was surprised to find that it was a small sketching. Glossed over for protection, but no doubt an old one. And of what surprised him.

Later that night, he was unable to sleep. He’d always had issues sleeping. Ever since he was a child. Alisaie was ever the active sort. So she would spend all of her energy during the day. As soon as her head would hit the pillow, slumber would take her. Alphinaud, on the other hand, had a habit of thinking too much before sleep. Oft resulting in loss of said sleep. He looks over at his trunk of belongings and sees the book Kaoru had left behind.

Sighing once he sits down at desk outside the barracks and begins to read. After a few pages, Alphinaud realizes that he’s read this book once before.

A brave warrior fights an entire country’s wrath as they falsely accuse him of another man’s crime. But, through the kindness and sacrifice of the man’s lover, he is cleared of charges and is allowed to live. Because one woman’s love and loyalty was stronger than the entirety of a country’s rage.

It had been a book he’d enjoyed, and wanted to read again. But with Sharlayan in ruins, he’d never successfully recovered his copy. And he’d feared he’d never see it again. And here it was, in his hands and read once more. Alphinaud sighs again, realizing Kaoru’s intention with this book… He’d shared the story with her and Alisaie under the lights of the Starlight Tree in the Studium lounge hall.

The next day, Kaoru walks solemnly through the hall towards the Antecedent’s Solar. She’s surprised to see Alphinaud standing there, blocking her way. She scoffs once. “Alphinaud.” She begins, annoyed. “Move-.”

“I’ll allow you to tag along on one condition…” Alphinaud begins. Kaoru’s eyes grow wide. “Should you ever interfere in my aspirations and goals, I shall ask you to leave immediately…” Kaoru is speechless. His tone is more scolding than Kaoru cares for, but she lets it go. "I never asked of you to watch after me and my sister. Nor did I ever accept the idea of you protecting me in such a deplorable manner..." Alphinaud puts out a hand reasoningly. "But if you do not get in the way and wish to shield me, then I shall not stop you..." Kaoru still doesn't say anything. But...

Kaoru nods though, bowing courageously to Alphinaud. “I understand.” She answers before walking past him. She was sincere, but Alphinaud could hear a tone of sadness in her voice. “Keep the book. It was meant for you after all…”

And Alphinaud just let her walk away. Without saying anything…

Now, this current day, they’ve been through thick and thin together. And he knows that other than Alisaie, no one understands him more than her. And yet she continues to keep her distance, in accordance to his wish that time…

Alphinaud looks over at Kaoru, conversing with Pipin. This was after the big envoy conference at the Ala Mhigan Quarter. After everything was said and done and the Sultana had departed. He makes his way over to her. "My pardon, Pipin, but might I steal the Warrior of Light for a moment?"

Pipin nods once. "No worries. We had just ended our conversation anyhow. I bid you both a good day." Pipin replies before waving once a goodbye. Kaoru and Alphinaud bow to him politely as he walks away.

Kaoru turns to Alphinaud. "Is aught amiss?" Kaoru asks. Alphinaud shakes his head.

"Does aught needs to be amiss for me to talk to my comrade?" Alphinaud asks. Kaoru thinks about this. Alphinaud puts out a reasoning hand. "Come, let us take a stroll to the Royal Menagerie."

Moments Later, Alphinaud smiles at her as she admires the view. "I hadn't gotten the time to address your new haircut. Was the haircut I provided you no longer adequate?" She turns to him, almost shocked but mostly apologetic.

Kaoru shakes her head. "No, no. Nothing like that. You see, a while back I went to collect some sap from the trees around the Black Shroud and..." Kaoru begins to twirl her hair. "I got a bunch in my hair and had to trim it at the parts that were sticky..." She bows her apology. "I'm sorry I had to cut it."

Alphinaud laughs once at her. "Nay, tis fine. I was merely curious is all. This haircut looks great on you as well..." Kaoru blushes slightly, prompting Alphinaud to blush too. Alphinaud's smile fades. "Do you remember when you first joined the Scions? And I had yelled at you for following Alisaie and I around?" Kaoru looks away sadly before nodding once. She doesn't say anything. So Alphinaud says it instead. "That was out of line on my part. And I apologize for any grief it may have caused you... You only wanted to protect me and my sister. And I was too selfish to see that you cared and worried for us deeply. So-." He stops short, seeing her smile at him sadly.

"All is well... Alphinaud..." She begins. "Thank you for your kind words and consideration."

There will be a second part to come out next month! So please stay tuned! 😄 Thanks for reading!!!

[musicalmelody001]

So, like, back on that crutches thing nobody cared about...

It's been a while. It's the end of the 4th week, and those estimated 2-3 weeks to heal were a LIE. My foot still hurts pretty much on the same level as it did on the third day- a fuck ton better than the first, but still an issue walking. Granted, I only used the crutches for 6 days before I got tired of using my entire lunch break walking TO the bathroom. So, like. Still hurts. Except, oh yeah. Some fun stuff. Someone hit my car the second week, and I walked without my crutches to the nearest store (two city major intersections) in heavy-ass rain to get some ducttape to put back together the pieces of my bumper that I had JUST replaced out-of-pocket. I wasn't gonna buy a new fucking bumper less than a month after getting this one. Fuck that. Then, THIS WEEK. This week started off with a bang if that bang is a gun that shoots you in the face with bullets that explode into fireworks that spell "Fuck You".

Monday, I woke up super late and instead of arriving 30min early as I prefer, I showed up 6 minutes late. Which is TECHNICALLY a fireable offense. Later, my co-worker asked me to drive her to her friend's house after work. Her car was out of comission and would otherwise walk home - 13ish miles. So I drove her to the opposite edge of the city, the long way around because of course the gps is messing up. I finally get her to her friend's house, and turn on the gps to head home. It's about 40 minutes since we left work, but GPS says 22min to home with light traffic. Sounds good. Wanna eat some ice cream. Monday was expected to be -and WAS- the worst/bussiest/most aggrivating day of the quarter, possibly TWO quarters. All the fucking stars alligned for the day from hell for the whole department for eight solid hours.

Anywhoo, heading onto the only highway for miles -because we're inthe middle of nowhere and there's just green everywhere outside of that one main street a mile back that had a neighborhood and like three businesses, and about a mile or so down the road I notice a bunch of heat in the cabin. Coming from the air vents. And a slight smoke smell. While the ac/heater was completely off. I take the upcoming exit, and pull over in a church parkinglot that suddely shows up amongst the freaking endless trees. Turm off the car. Get outside. Pop the hood. A WALL of heat blasts me, and I feel it as I hover my hand over the engine. Okay, no big deal, I'll let it cool. But, I'm out of gas. Might have trouble getting home.

Remembering the oil leak from last month, I check the dipstick. Looks dry, might be out of oil too. I pull out my phone to google the nearest gas station. It just barely see the words "3.4 miles", then my phone fucking shuts off on me, and it's useless now. Close the hood, lock the car. I walk over to the church. Lights off, doors locked. Parking lot empty. I walk around the side and see a few cars. I walk to another door. Locked. Dark inside. But there's an intercom on the side. I assume the people there must be employees working on something durring the week, like at the church I used to go to as a kid. I push the button and offer a hesitant "Hello?" No response. Great. I turn around and take a few steps away from the door, try to get my phone to turn back on. Not responding. After a minute or two I hear a click behind me. A big, burly dark-skinned dude (for reference for my comparison, my family are all around 6ft and a nice medium tan, except me, 5'3" and whiter than printing paper) has the (completely clear glass) door open the tiniest little crack and just looks at me, "Can I help you?"

"My car broke down, is there a gas station near here?" I ask. He gestures down the road blocked by trees, "That way," and closes the door.

I stare out to the road for a bit. That was... So... Not what I was expecting. Or that helpful, really. So I head back to my car, grab the 1gal gas tank in my trunk, and inspect my windows after noticing the broken glass on the ground. Not from my car, but it still does not instill confidence. I pull out the pepper spray from my purse and have it casually resting in my hand, locked, the loop around my wrist. I take my flashlight from my glove box and put it in my purse, just in case. It's hot now, but I drape my cardigan across my sounder, and start heading down the road.

And down, and down. Down a steep hill, my ankle starts screaming as I loose sight of the church between the trees, and I keep going. I pass the higjeay, go underneath it and keep walking in the same direction. And keep walking. Pass a pair of 2ft wooden crosses sticking out of the grass on the side of the road, with fresh flowers, and a small child's toy next to one of them. I feel a sudden chill. I keep walking. Further, I cross a road and keep going, no cars, no buildings, but also no trees now. Just grass. I keep going. The hill gets steeper, I see what MIGHT be the corner of a gas station on the horison, on the second peak ahead. I l

Keep walking, and the hill reaches small flat section before sloping back up. More grass, but now more trees. I see the edge of a biking trail in the distance to my right. Assuming that means a freaking TOWN, I keep going. Up more. Some dilapidated houses that may or may not still be in residence. An empty box of diapers in the middle of the road, that I carefully approach, looking both ways down the empty road, and check for animals before moving it to the side and off the road, placing it by a cinderblock nearby so it doesn't blow back into the road and cause an accident, hopefully. I keep walking. I reach some train tracks and stand there for three minutes, completely confused as to WHAT THE FUCK these road markings are supposed to mean.

The sun is setting and I can see the maybe-gas station not too far away, so I take a picture and keep walking. My ankle REALLY hurts. I finally make it to the gas station, the sun is lower, and I go inside. I pre-pay for a gallon of gas, and an item on the recipt I did not get. I ask and am told it is a fee for using a card, I don't believe him but don't care anymore. I want to go home. I'm told a pump. The pump does not dispense gas. I try again. No response. The screen says "see cashieer inside to pay". I head inside. I say it doesn't work. Clerk says it does. I confirm the number, and go back outside. I try it again. No dice. I hit the button a bit harder, pull the lever. Nothing. I roll my eyes again. Go back inside. Am told that I am not doing it right, that I need to press the button first. Go back outside, try three more times. Go back inside. Ignored. Go back outside, paranoid now that cars are starting to arrive that maybe it will suddenly work, and someone else will get the gas. I try again. Nope. I see someone walk up from behind me in my peripheral, and I think they try to ask me for change, but I ended up screaming frustratedly at the same exact time so they leave awkwardly.

I try AGAIN. Nope. No gas. Not flowing. I go back inside. The clerk is glaring like he never wants to see me again. I say it doesn't work. He says I already got the gas. "Bull shit! It hasn't done a fucking thing!" He goes outside with me to the pump, yelling at me, hits the side of the pump, and it starts working. What the fuck. Who gives a fuck, I'm so done. I get my gallon of overpriced gas, and start to walk away as I realize I forgot the oil. I'm not going back inside. I see a small convience-like store a block or two down. Walk to it. Am asked multiple times for change and/or cash. Repeately advise that I do not have any.

I get inside, and honest the food they're selling is probably SO sketchy but I'm starved. I skipped breakfast AND lunch, so at the moment it smells so good. I just want to get home and eat. But I only have a few dollars in my account, except for the money for my car payment that I'm expecting to go through any day now. I find some oil, more than I wanted to spend, and head back to the car. It's mega dark now. No stars. Just dark. There's a few street lights here by the stores, so I continue. Reply a few more times that I do not have cash to give.

I make it to the sidewalk where majority of my journey resided, and continue down the street. I put on my cardigan. Now I'm going uphill, and my ankle is asking how I want to die, because it's screaming. I don't know how long it's been. But it's dark and it's SURELY not 6pm amymore. When I reach the intersection back in the place with no trees, a car I had seen doing past me earlier had turned around, and pulled over. No cross-traffic. Sitting at a stop sign in my path. Inside the extra-long sleves of my cardigan, I palm my pepper-spray, and leave my thumb resting lightly on the safety lock. I stop about six or seven feet away from the stop-sign, hesitating. The passenger window rolls down a bit, but I can't see who's inside. "You need a ride?"

I hope that the person is well-meaning, and decline, saying I'm almost to my car. He asks if I'm sure, and after two more refusals he drives off. I continue.

A bit further, another car comes. They're heading the same way, but on the empty road they slow down, rolling down a window to shot accross the three uninhabited lanes, and ask if I need a ride. I decline once again, wishing that I didn't have to walk anymore but also paranoid once the sun sets, and continue walking. A bit later they slow down again, suggesting I get inside. I say I'm fine. I walk further to see they'd driven foreward then turned around, this time having opened the side door. I avoid eye-contact and walk a bit faster. I don't see them again. I pass the crosses and feel a shiver down my spine as my eyes tear up. I hurriedly walk away and the feeling passes.

I reach the highway and my eyesight is blurring. I'm exhausted and my balance is off, repeatedly stopping to steady myself to keep from falling onto the grass or into the road. I reach the last peak, and the lights stop. I'm walking on the sidewalk on the left side of the road now, and grab my flashlight, illuminating the way in front of me mostly to be visible to oncoming traffic as I cross an unmarked intersection.

Finally. In the distance. The church. The parking lot. My car that I left unattended for hours, most likely. I approach, checking again for broken windows and find none. The wind is strong and almost knocking me over. I unlock the car and put my things inside, sans the pepper spray, flashlight, and gas. Closing the door, pop my gas flap and begin the slow process of figuring out how the fuck to put the gas in my car with five pieces of plastic that combine to make a nozzle, and no instructions. Eventually the can is empty, and I put it back in the trunk. Now the oil. Grab the oil from inside, loop the pepper spray around my wrist, and turn on the flashlight to pop the hood. There's STILL residual heat coming from the engine. I put the hood all the way up and open the screw-top thing for the oil. No funnel, just gotta pour carefully. Empty the whole quart, hope it's enough to get home safe. Sudden gust of wind, the hood falls on me. Pissed off, I open it back up and curse, putting the screw-top thing back in place. Close the empty bottle of oil and throw it in the cab. I'm so done. Get back in my car. Almost out of gas. Drive down to the shitty gas station and get more gas, after an unpleasant encounter with the clerk. Hope that three gallons is enough to get home because now I'm, like, a dollar short for that car payment. Vaugely hoping that it'll wait until midnight when I get paid. Get back on the highway, phone plugged in and gps open. A few miles down, the cab is hot again. Ac/heat still off. Obviously it wasn't just the oil. I crack the windows to get rid of the heat and smoke smell. Stop at an autozone, they're about to close. I get some engine coolant that my car says it's out of. REALLY short for that car payment now. Sit outside as the nice autozone worker looks at my car and shows me where to put the coolant, and instructs me to wait AT LEAST an hour and a half after turning off the car before adding it. Tells me that it might not be what is causing the heat and smoke smell, though, just help with the overheating engine. I sit on the curb looking at my car with the hood up as the nice autozone people (who know me -and my car year make & model- by sight when I walk in the store these days. Honestly, after the sixth trip in Febuary, I got a rewards card because why the fuck not) close up for the night around me. One on them comes up to me and asks if I'm waiting to add the coolant. I honestly reply that I'm just debating drinking the coolant instead. I feel bad when he looks a bit upset. He's always so nice. I get up, decide I might as well go home and add the coolant in the morning. Head home following the gps. Drive for fifteen minutes before I notice I'm passing the SAME AUTOZONE and heading the opposite direction this time. Am pissed and woreed about gas. Finally get home, leave my shit in the car, and head inside. Check my phone. It's fucking 11. I'm so fucking done. My ankle fucking hurts. My car's still fucked up and I'm still broke. I check my bank account and see the car payment hasn't gone through yet. Hopefully it'll wait until tomorrow when I get paid. Force myself to eat a few bites of food becore going to bed.

In the morning I wake up early. Check my account, and sometime between when I got home and when I got paid, my car payment bounced. $25 return fee. Fml. Almost get into a wreck. Car's still blowing hot air with a hint of smoke. I'm late for work somehow. Life sucks. I tell my coworker I don't want to drive her there again. She gets pissed. My ankle throbs. This is my week.

So, like. Hope this was entertaining? Idk. Half wanted to vent, half wanting to see if anyone else knows WHAT THE FUCK those street markings are supposed to mean. They're too uniform to not be deliberate!

[pbandjesse]

I was feeling a lot better but my allergies are going crazy and im having some trouble breathing. I just took some medicine but i really dont love sitting here wheezing.

Today was a much better day. I was all overheated last night and was probably annoying to James whining about it. But eventually I was able to sleep.

James got up at 630. Because. And I was like. No. So I stayed in bed for a while. He made us biscuits. From scratch. And eventually I got up. And then fell back down. James eventually pulled me up and we had breakfast.

Eventually we got ready to go. He packed his bag for his trip. And walked me to my bike.

I had a good ride home. And I felt energized for once. So i cleaned. Finally. My whole space feels so good right now. I cleaned for about an hour. I ran to the grocery store for anything I could need tomorrow. Since I won't leave my houseor shop on Thanksgiving. I decided to wear jeans today which made biking very hard. I cannot bend very well. Which became a theme of the day.

When I got back from the grocery store I sorted my laundry to do later. And then got ready to go. My bus was running early so even though I missed one as I walked up to the stop I still got on the bus very quickly.

I got to the school right before 12:30. And I got Right to Work filling up their paint palettes. Put some showed up. And we had a much better report today. Like we're both in a really good mood and just really jazzed about the day. And I really just sent a really good tone for how we would work with the kids. I did end up talking to Tiffany about some of my concerns and she said that she had had some as well. So I'm glad that we can have an open conversation about it. But it was nice being able to work with him and just be in a really good mood.

I ended up asking a whole bunch of questions about holidays in Ethiopia and how he feels about Western media's portrayal of his country. It was really fascinating getting to hear his perspective on everything.

And soon enough it was time to go get the kids. I really enjoy going down to their classrooms to grab them. I'm trying to introduce myself to other teachers so that I'm not just some random girl hanging out in the hallway. And eventually they all got dismissed and came upstairs.

It was a stellar day. We only had 13 students which was great. And having such a small amount of kids made the whole day just go so much smoother. I know we can't have that few kids all the time but man is it ideal.

We started the day with some rules about the 10th to try to evade some of the problems that we had yesterday. And I think that's going to help going forward. The kids really seem to understand the rules once I had them read them out loud. We went to recess and that was fine. Elijah did fall in a ditch and twisted his ankle and I had to give him a piggyback ride all the way back to the building. Because I didn't want him to have to lean on the kids and bounce which would have taken an hour. But he's real small so I didn't care about carrying him.

Dinner was just fine. They all ate fairly quickly and cleaned up with not much issue. We lined up and headed to the classroom. We were supposed to paint outside but it was just too cold and windy to do it. So instead we painted from the windows. And put some have made some few finders for the kids and so everyone use those to decide on what they are painting and then they just looked out the windows and painted what they saw. About 90% of the kids understood what they were supposed to be doing. But all of their work came out so nice. I posted a picture of my painting from yesterday my painting from stay above. But the kids work was just really fun. It was also really nice to be painting with them. Me and him both did one. Like he did his is an example to start with and then both of us just painted for the rest of class. It was really nice to have the kids run up to us and look what we're doing and then run back to their painting. It was like we were inspiring them in that moment and that was really cool.

Cleaning up was just fine. We didn't really have too many problems today. Fitsum had them all go around the room and talk about things that they were thankful for. And then I have them lined up in the hallway and we headed to snack. We have lost a couple students. Two are moving. One was suspended. One just decided to not come anymore. I know there's a mom that may have pulled him out of the program. So we may be getting a bunch of new students. But I think right now we're doing really well. Today was just really really nice.

It took a little longer to completely clean up our classroom. And then we headed out. I got home before 6. And basically changed and got right back on my bike to head to the 7-Eleven to pick up the package. Because the 7-Eleven down by the stadium has an Amazon Locker. And my new pillow came.

Wasn't a bad ride. I just never been there before so I was a little nervous about going the right direction. But it ended up being no big deal. Just a few blocks off of my normal path down to the harbor. I got my box and came back home. I played with sweet pea. I did laundry. I wash my sleeping bags for overnight switch I have a few coming up. And I need to be ready for. I had dinner. And I've been watching a really great YouTube series about Catherine the Great for the last hour. I'm excited to have the next day off. I'm still not sure if I'm supposed to go to work at ships on Friday. I told him yeah I really didn't want to but I would if she needed me but she never answered me after that. So I don't know if I'm supposed to be working. Which I find very obnoxious. Honestly at this point I really just want to say no. That she hasn't given me any concrete answer and that's not cool. It would be nice to just have another chill day off. But either way. I'm looking forward to tomorrow. My plan is to wake up early and have breakfast. I want to take a bath. I want to work on my art. Finish my diorama. Paint for a while. Maybe do some embroidery. I wish I had some watercolor paper because I would really like to start Making some plans for me and Jess's next project. But maybe even then with the paper I do have I can figure something out. I really hope to take advantage and have a nice day. I would like to take a nap at some point too. Just like all of my blankets on my bed surrounding me. I want everything to feel soft. I don't want to feel guilty about anything tomorrow. I hope you guys all have a nice day tomorrow. I hope you all have the day off but if you don't I hope the day is kind to you.

Good night everyone.