#i need to wake up in 3h

[ulquichaan]

Miraculous Ladybug - my thoughts.

Hello!

It's been a while, I know. But I come back to rant yet again! I'm sorry for any mistakes in advance - its 2am and the thoughts won't let me sleep so I have to get them out there somewhere. If you don't want to waste your time - skip it. If you actually want to read it, I'll have a cookie waiting for you at the end of this. :3

My journey with MLB.

Miraculous was that one show that I got to know about through a parody of it on polish yt channel called Surreactor. I didn't know what it was about but it looked interesting and that was a point in time when season 3 was just starting to come out. Sooo, as the curious child I was - I gave it a go. And it captured me very easily.

At first all I wanted is for Adrien and Mari to finally get together. I never had big thoughts about it. Then I got bored between new episodes and just... forgot about it.

After some time however I came back to it. It was somewhere around 4th season airing. I returned to it, watched it all over again and it captured me yet again. I completely fell in love with Adrien as character and started to read loads of fanfiction about the two main heroes. I got invested, started to draw the characters in different settings and what not. I started even posting here on tumblr the rants that blew out about Adrien and about Black Cat holders as a whole just because I was frustrated on how little love he got or that I couldn't find any theories that would make sense.

I made new friend, started to plan stories more than I did before, returned to RP with my old friend through messenger and more.

It was a blow of creativity of mine at that time. You maybe you know of "Sky Is The Limit"? That was the point for me where I had so many ideas that I had to do something with at least one of them. Talking about an overload, right?

Season 4 finale - the best finale in this show in my honest opinion. Though I am based so who cares.

The point is - I deeply fell in love with this fandom for the most part.

And then... season 5 happened.

At first I was hooked. Really. I felt that it was going in the right direction and I even wanted to watch it later so I could see it in order.

Oh boy, did I get disappointed. Very disappointed.

I was never a Senti-Adrien fan, let's be real. But the execution? Even worse.

The finale? The fight yea, fun. But why cut out Adrien out of it???

Chloe as mayor? ARE YOU FOR FUCKING REAL? It's losing braincells more and more.

And I know the plot armor was always evident in this show and all.... but i feel like it was knocked up 10 times or more in season 5 to the point it could beat Game of Thrones seasons 7 and 8. (Yeah, I know what should compare two shows where one is fenomenal and the other has always been trash, but you can't argue with me that seasons 7 and 8 weren't rushed and had very poor execution)

To say that I was angry is an understatement. I HATED season 5 with every fiber of my existence. I still do, but I'm far more calm about it than I was originally. Believe it or not.

I saw all the drama in the fandom. When people complained about the show and other people came in to defend it. And I have to say - I can see where both sides are coming from.

To the people who enjoy it, all of it - I'm glad you do! I really am!

However.

I can clearly see where the hate is coming from and anytime I saw a valid critique I couldn't help but agree with it. There were some awesome responses to that critique even from people who do enjoy the show still, but there were always people who I'll call "white knights".

Aka people who will ride-or-die for the show and always say there is nothing wrong with it!

Oh how I hate this way of thinking....

Little message to those white knights - yes there are pure haters that hate just to hate, but in the spectrum of people who are critiquing the show are also people who loved it and got disappointed. When people are angry/dissapointed they usually feel the need to express themselves and forums like Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter, are just perfect for ranting. I have spent fair share in the horse gaming community to know that every flop will have a retaliation and shutting up people will make them only more angry. :|

I stopped liking the show. Why am I coming back to it?

That's a question that started to bother me just as I was going to sleep.

I have watched Hazbin Hotel (Lucifer my beloved) and fell deeply in love with it. I always liked Vivzie's Hellaverse being it Helluva Boss and now Hazbin, but there is something that just came back to me.

I started yet again imagining Adrien and Marinette but in the helllaverse. Or what if I merged hellaverse and Miraculous together in some way. Or other crazy ideas that will never see the light of day.

It's always those two characters for the most part. But the moment those two show up, the rest of Miraculous cast does too.

I fell put of the show. I don't like it. Why do I keep coming back?

My thought is - the fandom and the work it did for the characters.

I have always loved to read fanfiction even it came to miraculous. And it's always SO MANY! With many different variants of the world or entirely different settings. Ofc there are some bad fics, but the good ones are those that captured my heart and made me love the characters even more.

Let's put in some examples (and recommendations if you want to check them out):

Happiness by Somewhere_Out_Here

Once a Thief, always a Thief by @saijspellhart

Bakery Enemies by @buggachat

Heaven in hiding by @livinglittlelie

I'll guess your heart, if you guess mine by PurpleHeartsOne

Chat Blanc's Moon Waltz by @rileyclaw

The comic dubs by PhantomSavage

The little comics like "Passionate Kiss" by @edendaphne

All of these are just very few examples from multitude of content I devoured when I was in the love stage for MLB. And those things are STILL SO GOOD. (You have to check it out if you haven't already)

The point is - the fandom fell in love with the concept and if not that, then the characters. Yes, they aren't perfect. Some would say they are very much Mary Sue-ish. Some would say they are badly written. While the fact is - the characters themselves aren't badly written, the plot is just badly handled.

I can see why people love Marinette, she is quirky, funny and her ideas, while absurd most of the time, they work. And that's fine! She is supposed to be creative and what not. A great friend to have in corner, that for sure :3

Adrien on the other hand is supposed to be a bundle of issues that come with living a sheltered life and the want to be free.

(The movie handled Marinette much better than the show, let's be real here)

Sad fact - the writers of the show couldn't handle all of the potential they set up. But the fandom could and that's what's beautiful in my opinion.

The show may not be a masterpiece but they made some aspects of it so enjoyable and investing (love-square) that other people decided to execute those good things in their own stories and create something else.

The characters are just so easy to put into other stories too. Because they are written in the way they are (even if poorly handled at times) the aspects of them are very flexible, which in turn makes them easy to incorporate into other AUs.

For me it proves that you don't need a very complicated and deep character to make your story memorable. Even tho that certainly helps depending on your story. Miraculous was really lucky it got that creative fandom in the first place.

And this is what is beautiful.

Ending, some plans of mine that who knows if they will see the light of day. :]

This is only for those who are interested what I have been up to and what do i plan with this blog:

I am not quitting tumblr, oh no. I'll be probably reposting some stuff that I like from time to time.

I am returning to write "Sky Is The Limit", however I am completely rewriting it for the.... 7th time? Something like that. I doubt I'll finish it anytime soon at this rate and if I get the need to draw I might draw few characters from there or designs I have planned.

I have a very big project in mind that I might probably make a new blog for. It's still just an idea but I getting closer to actually being made so stay tuned.

I will start posting stuff from Hazbin Hotel. I fell deeply in love with Lucifer's character and you can't unglue me from that duck man!!

Other than that I went to university and I'm enjoying my time here so yeah.

And here is your cookie for reading all that! You're a legend!

(I'm open for any discussions as long as they stay respectful. Feel free to DM me :>)

[seonghwacore]

Hip birthday ya, Yunho 🎉 [inspo.]

[homosexualcitron]

it isn't funny anymore i've played as much as possible today and still want to play it's 2am send help

[fuck-customers]

Fellow snow residents I need your input. This happened months ago and I still don't think it was wrong for me to call out but I'm legit at a loss of what else I could've done. Here's the situation:

Heavy overnight snow (expecting 20cm)

I'm scheduled the following morning (boss said no one could cover me and I just need to "wake up an hour earlier to shovel the driveway like everyone else")

I wake up 3h early to shovel the driveway. There is at least 40cm of snow, reaching above my waist (I'm 170cm so not particularly short).

I live in a small city with a large elderly population. The city's snow plows will not get to our residential street until past 3pm (they actually didn't get to our street until past midnight, and needed three additional trucks to transport the snow elsewhere lmao)

Due to the heavy snow, none of the city busses are running.

If the nearest major street was plowed, I could call a taxi/rideshare but the cost would exceed my day's wages.

My car is short and got stuck right outside my driveway. I needed the help of five different neighbors to get it unstuck and back into the driveway.

Fwiw, boss lives in a very active and populated city and only got about 12cm of snow. 🫠

Posted by admin Rodney

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Pretty like the wind

Previous chapter / Next chapter

a/n the thirteenth part! I'm so so so sorry for the wait but girl drained her writing abilities too much and I just couldn't write and then couldn't give you all a shit chapter. I hope you will still enjoy this! ✨🤍 also, your girl is running on 3h of sleep so if there are mistakes, forgive me... I'll fix them when my brain is once again plugged to the internet.🙃

warning: kids, past trauma, substance use... low key seems too little of a list but nothing else comes to mind

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Axel's been desperate for a couple of days now. He had managed to lift off the ground and do a couple of flaps with his wings at the start of the week. The excitement on his face when Azriel carried him back home was unmatched. Unlike anything you had seen before. He was glowing. Radiant. So deeply loved, and it showed. The boy had rambled about it throughout the whole dinner. But Azriel hadn't denied his excitement even once, a proud smile on his face as he let the boy babble on and on.

It felt easy. It was so easy to be there. In Azriel's apartment. To wake up next to him. To watch him come home after a long day. Fetch the kids for classes. Not to mention that his place was ever-shifting. After the first night on his mattress, which was rung by the furthest of walls, Azriel had shown up with Cassian the very next day. Boxes in hand, they got to work putting together the biggest bed frame you had ever seen. He covered the knives stand with some sort of spell. They were there still, a big part of him, but the kids could not reach them. His way of baby-proofing the space. Slowly morphing it into something that suited everyone's needs.

"Lift up and do ten flaps", Azriel's voice floated through the field. The day was beautiful. The sun was out. Warm rays of sunshine kissed the skin. You and Zofie were sitting on a big knitted blanket. The little girl beside you was threading flower crowns. Her tiny tongue was slightly out as she concentrated on her very serious task.

"I can do more", Axel urged. He was standing next to Azriel. His tiny Illyrian leathers clad his skin. His safety armor. A tiny little piece of comfort that the spymaster had gifted to him. Azriel shook his head as he smiled, "Start with ten, then we will see". You could tell that Azriel had also found comfort in teaching Axel. A second chance at a glimpse of a happy childhood. With him and only him in the center of someone's happiness.

For a moment, there was only a warm breeze humming through the field. You watched how Axel got into a position. His determined face faltered, and his eyes darted back up at Azriel. "You will catch me, right?", here it was, that same bitter fear of failing. Of not trusting himself. But Azriel didn't let it settle in as he kneeled next to the boy, "You won't need my help, but if you do, I will be right by your side". Axel's big, golden eyes blinked at Azriel.

"And if I don't make it...", the boy doesn't finish the sentence, but the premise of it is clear. Will you be disappointed? Laugh? Give up on me? Azriel cupped the Axel's cheeks between his scared palms. "Look at me", the spymaster muttered, "You will do it. I know you will. You have to believe in yourself". They looked at each other for a moment before Axel quickly nodded his head, "Okay. I've got this", the boy muttered, Azriel quickly ruffled his hair, "Hell yeah, you do!".

Axel found your eyes across the field. You smiled at him, nodding your head. He could do it, and you did not doubt it. The boy nodded his head one more. A deep breath in. And within seconds, his tiny frame shot up. Axel faltered ever so slightly. Gravity pulling him down. But with one determined flap after another, he managed to stay up above. "Look at me", he beamed from the sky, the wind dancing in his onyx hair. "Y/n! Zo!", he shouted. The girl beside you let out a gasp. Scrambling to her feet as she ran through the flower field to get closer to her brother, "Axel!", she squealed happily. "Good job, honey!", you called right after her, your hand on your chest as you tried to suppress your emotions. One beat after another. Just his energy strained as fast as it was mustard. And the boy slowly sank back down. But the smile on his face didn't seem to shrink.

"Did you see it?", Axel looked across all three of you, breathing heavily. "We did, my love", you beamed at him, leaning closer to kiss his sweaty forehead. "I flew like all of the Illyrians", the boy taped at his leathers proudly, his eyes darting up at Azriel, whose smile was just as big. "I'm so proud of you", Azriel said. "Thank you, pa-Azzy", Axel stuttered, his big eyes suddenly laced with worry, but Azriel only scooped him up in his arms, seating Axel on his shoulder, "You got it, bud".

The kids were far from, content afterward. Too much excitement rushing through their tiny bodies, and now that they were painfully aware that they had Azriel wrapped around their fingers, within a couple of hours you were back in the city, for none other than street pancakes. "You didn't have to say yes", you muttered to Azriel as you two trailed behind the two overly excited younglings. "Why, not?", he said straight away as if tending to their needs had already become second nature for him. "Well, I'm sure you have meetings or people to scare", you shrugged, making Azriel chuckle slightly. The expression easy to miss because his colder mask was back on. What you didn't miss was how some people looked at him. At you all. The emotions were hard to pinpoint, but it was clear evidence that one didn't find the spymaster of the night court casually walking through Velaris streets.

"Look, it's the fountain", the two little monsters came tumbling back, pulling at the skirts of your dress, tiny fingers pointing toward the water fairies. "Now, what did I say about pointing fingers, huh?", you huffed, and the two of them dropped their hands. Quick apologies swirled around, but the pulling didn't ease. Azriel took a heartbeat to look at you three. The way a laugh slipped past your lips as one of the fairy bopped Axel's face making the boy jump back slightly. All courtwork aside, the past couple of weeks have left Azriel feeling weightless. No burdens. No worries. And if something managed to cling to him after a long day, it would all melt away the moment he stepped through his apartment door, hearing your voices and laughter. It felt so good to finally have something that belonged just to him. And it wasn't that territorial fea-male thing. Well, yes, it was, but there was so much more. Azriel finally felt like he had a purpose. His bland days were finally filled with more color. He loved being able to take Zofie to her dance classes. Fetch Axel for training with Cassian. To come home and find you smiling at him. To kiss you softly.

"Can I get two?", Zofie's voice filled Azriel's senses, and his head instantly turned towards the pancake stand. An old lady was already smiling as she looked down at the kids trying to pick their orders. "You won't be able to finish them both, bug," you said as you brushed your fingers through Zofie's hair. "But I can't pick between jam and chocolate", she pouted. Azriel stepped closer, earning a slight bow from the owner, that he quickly returned with a nod.

"Azzy, you pick", Zofie quickly moved towards the spymaster, cleverly making grabby hands at him so that once the order was made, she would be able to see how they were made because, not like Axel, she couldn't see over the stand. "I would like apple crumble, please", Axel said, fingers twirling with the material of your skirt. "And jam and chocolate", Azriel followed suit. You shot him a look, but he was already too occupied by how Zofie was beaming in his arms.

"Add it to my account too", Azriel said firmly, and you shook your head. "Nonsense, let me pay for it", you reached for the satchel fastened to your corset. But Azriel softly took hold of your hand, lacing his fingers through yours. "Don't fight me on this, love", he simply muttered. And stop frowning; it doesn't suit you. Azriel's smug voice filled your mind, making you let out a huff. You're too full of yourself; let me pay for something. You muttered back, but Azriel only smirked. You are paying; it's our shared account. A breath hitched in your throat. A shared account? But only members of the inner circle shared accounts with their partners. And you... you blinked a couple of times. Had Azriel set his claim over you to Rhys? You're not an object. Azriel's velvety voice rang out once more.

You were about to answer him a gasp left Axel's lips, soon followed by Zofie. "Grammy", the two of them said in unison. Cordelia had just set her bags down as the two swarmed her. Jumping. Giggling. "My gorgeous bunch", the woman said, cradling them both in her arms, "I swear you two have grown an inch since I last saw you". They both beamed at her, pancakes long forgotten. Azriel's shadows made quick work of his mother's bags. Tiny little clouds got to work immediately as they moved to carry them back to her house.

"Azriel, Y/N", Cordelia said, turning to you both as you finally approached her hands full of food. "What are we celebrating?", the elderly woman asked. "Grammy, I flew. Azriel took me to the field. I was up in the sky", Axel said excitedly, and your eyes instantly filled up with tears, making you blink quickly. "Oh, sweet boy", Cordelia cupped Axel's cheek, "That's wonderful. Soon, you'll outmatch my Azriel. But don't tell him I told you so". The boy giggled sheepishly, catching a glimpse of Azriel, but his calm expectation didn't change.

"Why don't you two leave them with me", Cordelia said after a moment, "I'm heading home anyway". The kids instantly stepped towards her as if they didn't care for what any of you had to say. "No, ma'am, that...", "Cordelia, darling", Azriel's mom corrected you instantly. "You must be tired, and...", you tried again, only to be met with another smile, "Nonsense, these two are angels. Plus", she muttered, "When was the last time you two spent time alone?". Never. The answer was never. And the fact that the answers sank on you so quickly said it all. You and Azriel had never truly been alone. Had never been on a date.

"Exactly", Cordelia stated proudly. "I'm looking after my grandchildren, and if I see any of you at my doorstep before tomorrow evening", she narrowed her eyes, "Let's say you don't want to know what will happen". Azriel let out a laugh, shaking his head at his mother. "Thank you", he muttered. Cordelia simply leaned in to kiss her son's cheek before she squeezed your shoulder. "Have fun", she winked, turning towards the kids, already pointing them towards another stand.

"Do you want some more?", Azriel lifted the halfway-empty bottle, but you shook your head, "I still have some, thank you". Oddly enough, it felt strange to spend time with Azriel like this. No rush. No need to go places. No kids to look after. No serious worries. Just you two. A quiet apartment and a long night that was still ahead of you two. You shifted, brushing your hand through your hair.

"This feels strange in a way", Azriel breathed out, running his hand over his face, "I mean, I don't want you to feel like...", he was quick to point out, but you rested your hand on his thigh, "We're not used to being together like this". The shadowsinger nodded his head before he leaned back into the sofa, putting his glass on the tiny table that was set on the side. His arms reached forward, pulling at your hand. A chuckle slipped past your lips as Azriel tugged you closer to his chest. "What are you doing?", you breathed, still smiling. "Something I should have done at the start of the evening", Azriel mused, letting out a satisfied hum now that you were pressed against his chest.

Silence filled the room. You let yourself listen to the way Azriel's heart was drumming right beneath your ear. Warmth spread through your body. This, without a doubt, was how peace felt. "Should we play a game?", Azriel spoke up, finally making you lift your head from his chest. "A game?", you frowned slightly, pulling away. "Yeah, like, get to know each other game", Azriel breathed out, a slight pink tint brushing his cheeks. You let out a chuckle. "Okay, I am...", you breathed out, "Are Rhys and Cass your biological brothers?", "Straight at it...", Azriel let out a surprised breath, and worry instantly washed over you. "Was I not supposed to?", your big eyes looked at him. "No, no, it's okay; I like that you're taking the lead", Azriel reassured you wiggling his brows making you rill your eyes in return. You two moved to sit opposite each other. Your legs were tucked beneath you, but Azriel's hand still stayed on your thigh.

"And to answer your question, they are not", he said smoothly. "We meet in the camp. Rhys's mother pulled us under her wing; the rest is history but they feel like blood brothers". You found yourself nodding; you knew that they were in training together. Most people called them the inseparable three for a reason. The loved they shared always made you smile. It was rare. Especially between territorial Illyrian males. "Your mother was from Helion's court," Azriel stated, claiming his turn, "You've ever thought about going there?". You took a moment to let his words sink in. Rhys had brought that up a couple of times, but the idea of going to a place you knew nothing about to meet people you knew nothing about. "No...", you breathed out. "I mean, it'll sound bad, but Helion keeps his angels under tight wraps." Pulling the strand of your hair, you quickly twirled it around your fingers, "If he had use for me, he would have claimed me by now". A rumble left Azriel's chest, "No one can claim you; you make your own choices". His voice was thick with frustration. The thought, clearly, unsettled him. You reached for his hand once more, "Azriel, I know, hence why I said it would sound bad". But the frown between his brows didn't ease until your fingers carefully brushed over his skin.

You weighed your next question for a heartbeat before muttering, "Your hands, can you tell me the real story?", you watched as Azriel's face shifted with emotion. The man was almost a myth. The amount of stories told about him could easily be turned into a book but... most of them seemed so far fetched. For a heartbeat, you even regretted your question, but then Azriel let out a sigh. "You know about the basement...", the spymaster clenched his palms together. "This was one of their games", you shifted slightly, reaching for his hands as you clasped them in yours. Azriel's eyes lingered on your joined palms. "One night they wanted to test how quickly I would heal. So they dunked my hands in oil and set them on fire", his words sounded cold and distant. But then how else would you talk about the trauma that shifted your life. You bit the inside of your cheek as you leaned closer to him. But before you could fully rest against him, you pulled his hands up to your mouth, placing kiss after kiss on the scared surface. He didn't stop you. Didn't pull away. Soaking in the warmth of you. The tender touch.

But your movements stalled at his next words, "Your back", Azriel muttered. You let go of him instantly, drawing back, "What of it?", you asked, even if you knew more than well what he was asking for. In a way, your scars linked you both together. But you've worked your hardest to keep that side of you hidden from everyone. Even yourself. You let your head drop slightly, and Azriel's fingers instantly hooked beneath your chin. If there was something this man was against, it was you feeling small when you were with him.

"You don't have to", he breathed out, his gorgeous hazel eyes piercing through you. Eyes that had captured your soul the very same night you two had come for one another's throats in his room. You chose to swallow your words, turning away from him. Suddenly, your dress felt way too tight on your body. Azriel took that as a sign to drop the topic, ready to apologize when you muttered, "Undo the ribbon". Azriel swallowed thickly. Hesitation stilled his movements. But his trembling fingers still reached for the light blue material. Goosebumps trickled down your spine instantly.

Azriel could see the way your shoulders tensed the looser the fabric got around your chest. Leaning in, he placed a couple of loving kisses on your shoulder blades. He hesitated before letting the fabric fall off your skin, your hand instantly moving to cover your breasts in front. But Azriel was too far captured by the brutal slashes that even now shined red and black against your skin. The angel wings you had didn't start at the same spot where Illyrian wings rooted, which explained why the spymaster didn't catch a glimpse of them while you were in nothing but your silk nightgown.

"I hoped I could heal myself...", you muttered quietly, biting your lip. Azriel's eye snapped back up, and he instantly brought your trembling frame into his chest. Mother, strike him for letting himself gawk like that. He knew what being stared at like that felt like. The scrutiny. The pity. Blimey, his own family still shot him glances like that, and here he was. His strong arms cocooned your frame before he realized the lack of clothes covering your chest. Azriel's cheeks pinked, even if he couldn't see anything that he hadn't already seen. He moved to lift the fabric, but you stopped him, motioning for him to let you go. He got his clue here—you didn't want him watching, so his head wiped to a completely different side.

"I've never been with a male", you muttered after a heartbeat. Azriel's body froze once more. Something deep and territorial, way stronger than before, scratched at his chest. "Was I your first...", his words were barely a whisper, as you chased them away. "Everything so far...", you breathed out. Was admitting this to him awkward? Yes. But he was your mate. Surely, he would realize that eventually. Azriel turned back to face you. Realizing that he probably should have asked if he could turn around in the first place. But he found your shy eyes looking up at him. He reached for you once more. Pulling you over his lap, his hand resting on your hip.

"Thank you for sharing that", he breathed against your neck, brushing tiny feather-like kisses all over your collarbones. The tickling sensation made you giggle slightly before a frown washed over you once more. "I understand if it's not attractive", you breathed out, and Azriel halted in his movements, pulling back to meet your eyes. "Love, I'm more than okay with waiting till you're ready", he reassured you as he brushed his thumb over your cheek. "But that's... you have needs", you whispered, catching his wrist. Azriel let out a breathy chuckle, scanning your face before he leaned in to peck your lips. "I am no longer a teenager who gets a hard-on from any moving thing in front of him, but thank you for your concern, love", he said, utterly satisfied with his answer. "Ew, Azriel", you cackled, hitting his chest playfully. The spymaster's laugh matched yours in no time as he pulled you down on the plush sofa, nestling you deeper into his embrace.

You had hoped to wake up in Azriel's arms the next morning. The intimacy of last night's confessions still lingered. But once the slumber left your body, you quickly realized that the bed felt way too cold. A pang ached in your chest, but you knew that he was a busy man. A note you found in the kitchen proved just that. An urgent meeting. I hate that I had to leave you like that. I will see you in the evening, Az. You brushed your fingers over the paper, turning your attention to the bond, smothering it with soft touches, only to be met with a cold wall. You frowned slightly. But then, he always shut it off when he was out on duty. You knew that if something was seriously bad, he would answer. But nothing was seriously bad and you weren't about to become a needy partner. Brushing the nagging thoughts away, you smiled to yourself. No, nothing was going to ruin the plan you had for tonight.

And it started out so perfectly. From the way you had allowed yourself to explore the city. Wondering from one shop to another. Everyone greeted you with a smile. The streets were humming even in the early morning. All the smells and sounds fill your senses. You tested cheese from a local farmer's stand, listening to the stories about the sheep that he owned. You had forgotten what it felt like to live like this. Now fully understanding why Zofie and Axel loved it here so much. The white, quiet walls of the sanctuary felt more like a prison than a happy home when you compared it to the city.

Your arm was aching from the bag you were carrying, but it didn't seem to bother you today. Your eyes caught the stand full of freshly cut flowers. Like a little bee on a hunt for nectar, you turned its way. The lady greeted you with a wave. She, like the man before, shared her passion for the blooms before wrapping a big bouquet of peonies in paper. The smell of them made your lips taste sweet. But the moment her hands brushed yours, you felt a tight grip on your arms. Dark eyes looked at you. Sharp venomous teeth gleamed, "Silly child, he is not your happy ever after. You're burning in flames of pain for your mistakes", the thick words sounded, making you draw away, nearly dropping all of your stuff. You bumped into someone, pulling your eyes away from the lady, and when you finally blinked, a man was holding onto your shoulders. Steadying you. "Are you alright, dear?", the female called out to you, making you take a double look at both of them. "Yeah", you muttered, feeling your cheeks heating up. "I'm so sorry, I just got dizzy from all the smells", you breathed out, quickly taking hold of your things and hurrying away.

You hoped the feeling of unease would lessen eventually. That the image of that monstrous face would fade. But it stuck around. Sending shivers down your back all day long. The same way it did up at the house of wind. You had felt slightly better at Cordelia's house, where you stopped to get the kids, but the moment you crossed Azriel's apartment's entrance, it clasped right over your throat once more. "Do I put this in?", Axel called out, making you draw your attention back to the two kids. A pot of stew was bubbling on the stove. You pressed a palm against your temple, an odd throb aching there.

"Yes, sweetie, give it a mix too", the two of them had been desperate to make Azriel's mother's stew. Cordelia had cooked with them a couple of times, and now they had taken it upon themselves to show what they had learned. "I need help", Zofie muttered, pulling at your sleeve. She had been tasked with pulling some of the herbs from the stems and dicing them. Yet your body didn't seem to comprehend the request. Axel turned to her instead. "Show me", he said, but you could feel his eyes on you. Both of their eyes are on you.

"Y/N", Axel called out softly, "Is everything okay?" The real answer to that would be that you didn't know. It was the tightness and numbness in your chest that unsettled you the most. You've never felt like before. As if something was missing all of a sudden. You tried to claw out of the hazy daze, "Yeah, I'm...", but your voice died down to the sound of the knock on the door. Axel jumped off his step stool, but you caught him by his shoulder. "Stay here with Zo", you muttered. Deep down, you hoped that it was Azriel or someone from the family, but then Azriel wouldn't knock. He never did.

You cracked the door open as if you already didn't feel confused enough. There she stood. The prettiest pink dress framed her figure. Loose curls fell over her shoulders. Elain. You braced yourself against the doorframe. Mother, don't let this be what you thought it was. "Oh", the female gasped lightly. "I...", she stuttered, suddenly growing fidgety. "How can I help you?", you breathed out, trying to keep your racing mind at bay. "Azriel said we would meet here; that usually means alone", her tone was sweet, but every word sent daggers flying straight into your heart. Silly child, he is not your happy ever after. The voice echoed in your mind. You blinked rapidly, frown marking your features. For a moment, it seemed as if something flashed through Elain's eyes before she mustered a forced smile back on her lips.

"I apologize for interrupting", Elain turned to walk away but halted quickly as if changing her mind. "Actually", she muttered, "I forgot about a little gift", her voice trembled as she pulled her hand out of the dress pocket, opening her palm to reveal a crystal-clear powder. She blew on it gently, flecks flowing towards you. The same invisible hand clawed at your throat. You tried to gasp for air, but it felt useless. You staggered back, the sound of someone grinding their teeth drilled through your head. A scream echoed through the space as your body hit the floor. Muffled noises rang endlessly. Noises. Screams. Zofie and Axel. The last bits of your rational mind called out. You dug your nails into the floor, turning your body towards the kitchen. Black figures swarmed all around, both of the kids trashing in their grip. You reached your hand towards them, but before you could cry out to them, everything went black.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Taglist: @naturakaashi @hoemadegrace @just-m-2 @thereadinggremlin @i-am-a-lost-girl16 @hijabi-desi-bookwarm

[moonlight-tmd]

Bumblebee just being one big cuddlebug with everyone.

Like, sometimes he just wakes up and feels this need to hug everyone and just cuddle. He'll wrap himself in a blanket and walk around base in it all day. It usually happens on rainy days when he doesn't want to go run around in it and play in the mud.

He'll just sit there, wrapped up in a blanket with his favorite minecraft bee plush and watch the rain. He has lofi on for background music but just loud enough so he'll hear what is happening at the base.

He's definitelly grabbed Sari at one point and brought her over to the couch to cuddle and watch some comfy movie, Bulkhead also sits with them, Bee just cuddles up to his side while holding Sari in his lap wrapped in his blanket. Just cuddles.

Sari defo makes jokes like "he's not (a) bumblebee, he's a cuddlebug". She often get invited to snuggle with him in his berth while watching some old(er) disney movie. They just hang out, nibble on snacks and cuddle. Bee's arm sometimes acts like a weighted blanket for her.

At some point Bee was feeling cuddly and nobody but Ratchet and Prowl were at the base. He didn't wanna bother Ratchet so he opted to going to Prowl's room. Prowl was meditating again, back turned against the door, front facing towards the tree with the massive hole in the ceiling, rain dripping down into the puddles and making funny splashing noises.

Prowl didn't know how Bee did it but one moment he was alone with his mind and the next he felt something press against his back. He turned his helm to see Bumblebee snuggled up against him in his blanket, helm resting on his shoulder.

Prowl was surely confused as to why Bee would come to him to snuggle but he let him stay there. It was kind of comforting, just having someone near and relaxing. Bee was quiet and surprisingly still. He was also warm, it seeped thru the blanket into his back and not gonna lie, he also felt a little sleepy. Bee must have fallen into recharge because 3h later Prowl felt a little movement from him and a little nuzzle as if he wanted to continue napping in this comfy spot.

"Can I move now? Or am I still your nap pillow?" Prowl whispered in this warm tone, if Bee could see from this spot he'd see Prowl smiling.

Bee slowly sat up and let Prowl turn around- It was adorable, Bee was all sleepy and had this cute little crooked smile.

Then there's the sad days, when Bee just sits there in his blanket watching the rain all quiet with no smile whatsoever.

Prowl was told to go find Bee cuz of something minor and he did find him- the scout was sitting by the big window watching the rain. He didn't react when Prowl called out and spoke to him. Upon going closer he noticed Bee was sad; his cheek rested on the glass as his hooded optics watched the water drops slide down outside.

Bee didn't respond verbally, he just kept still in this position. Prowl was about to leave him be when he noticed Bee draw on a freshly breathed on spot on the cold window- a sad face.

Prowl tried to know why he was sad but Bee didn't draw anything. "Is there anything i can do to help?" He asked, Bee only drew an X, a 'no'.

He wanted to help, then he remembered Bee liked company, whether it was hanging out or being annoying. "Do you want me to just sit here with you?"

No response drawing at first, but slowly his servo lifter again and he drew a checkmark- 'yes'. So Prowl sat next to him on the barrels placed in front of the window and watched the rain with him.

Their servos rested on the small windowsill, at one point Prowl felt a ghost of a touch right next to his servo. He glanced down and noticed Bee secretly trying to move his servo closer to Prowl's- a subtle solution to the need of touch Bee had.

Prowl lifted his servo only slightly and placed it on top of Bee's. In the corner of his optic he could see Bee's derma pulling up a tiny bit to form a little smile.

They sat there til the evening. Optimus actually found them some time after Prowl disappeared from his sight and decided to just to the minor thing himself. Those two were difficult to get to get along, it warmed his Spark seeing them comfortably sitting together like that.

Idk, i just have a thing for cuddles and cozyness while it rains.

Also, i'm on a ProwlBee streak with posts.

[gryficowa]

Boycott!

I know I wrote a lot in the previous post, but this pisses me off so much…

Now that I have your attention:

[madsworld15]

New Fic Alert! i'd fall to pieces on the floor Brian/Justin post-series

This is for the QaF Prompt Challenge 2024. It is my 6th prompt submission. I wrote it yesterday, but I am just posting it here today. This one is for the prompt: The first time Brian and Justin see each other after 513. (Prompt #7) [6/21 for me personally]

Brian was nervous. His decision to go to New York this week had been supremely last minute. The last video call he’d had with Justin had seemed normal on the surface. But, Brian knew better. He could tell that Justin’s smile no longer met his eyes, a sure sign that something was wrong. The blond had only been in New York for 6 months, but if Brian was being honest, it had felt twice as long. 

They talked on the phone at least once a week. Sometimes that call switched to a video call via their computers so they could jerk off together. And though Brian was better about telling Justin how he felt, he still wouldn’t admit that those video calls were the highlight of his life right now. 

Babylon had just recently reopened. Brian hadn’t sold the club after all, but he didn’t frequent it that often. Without Justin around, clubbing seemed very monotonous and not enjoyable. Brian wanted to dance with Justin, not a bunch of strangers. Which was a way he was maturing and changing. Brian wasn’t a club boy anymore. He chose to stay home most nights and think of Justin instead. 

But then Justin’s smile didn’t reach his eyes on their call last night, and Brian knew he needed to see him in person. So, he bought a last-minute plane ticket and took an overnight flight to JFK. He was staying at the William Vale Hotel in Brooklyn. It was only 8:30 in the morning, but he wanted to surprise Justin by waking him up with coffee and pastries.

His hotel was a few blocks from Justin’s. So, Brian went down the block to the local bakery. He grabbed a couple of croissants and a couple of danishes. Then getting two coffees, Brian was ready to head outside and grab the car service he loved using anytime he was in the city.

The sleek black car made quick work of getting over to Justin’s artist loft. Brian didn’t know much about where he lived, just that he shared the building with a bunch of artists and that his loft was currently paid for by residuals from Rage. He was still working on another issue with Michael, but it was slow going due to the distance between them.

Brian rang the doorbell buzzer next to the door. It was answered by someone on the first floor who was coming out anyway. Brian threw a smile at the young woman with bright green hair. He looked at the mailboxes by the door and discovered Taylor next to 3H. This meant he was on the third floor. And, of course, the elevator was broken.

Brian trudged up three flights of stairs. Once he reached the desired floor had to pause and catch his breath. He glanced left and right trying to decide what direction Justin’s apartment would be. From what he gathered, going to the left would be best. A few minutes later, he stood before 3H. He wore his biggest smile as he rapped his knuckles on the door.

He shuffled his feet, waiting for Justin to answer. At just past 9 a.m., it wasn’t likely the young man would be up already. Sure enough, when the door opened, Justin was rubbing his hand through his hair, which was sticking up all over, and yawning. He stopped mid-rub and let his mouth hang open.

“Brian?! What are you doing here?”

“Surprise!” Brian smiled and held up his offerings. “I brought food and coffee. I figured you wouldn’t have any.”

Justin stepped aside and let Brian in. “You figured correctly.” 

Justin shut the door and didn’t say anything more. Brian, however, placed the cups and pastries down on what served as a kitchen counter in the apartment. He looked around, clocking everything and assessing as quickly as he possibly could. There was a huge pile of dishes in Justin’s sink and an overflowing trash can next to the fridge. The rest of the space was scattered with unfinished drawings and dirty clothes dropped on the floor, futon, and various other surfaces.

Justin had always been a bit more sloppy than Brian, but this was more than that. This was Justin just not caring. In fact, the clothes he was currently wearing looked as though they’d been worn for a few days at this point.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you, but I ask again, what are you doing here?” Justin grabbed the cup that held his coffee and took a big gulp.

Brian watched him for a bit. His heart ached to see just how out of sorts Justin was. He could tell Justin was depressed, even if the blond hid it extremely well. The brunet stepped forward and placed a gentle hand on Justin’s cheek. Their eyes met, and Brian finally spoke.

“After our call last night, I was worried. So, I hopped a plane.” Brian whispered, hoping his answer wouldn’t spook Justin.

Justin resisted Brian’s affection and piercing gaze by stepping back and turning his back to the man. Brian didn’t say anything or make any moves to regain their physical touch, despite desperately needing to have hands on Justin to prove to himself the lad was okay. Instead, he stood there drinking his coffee and watching Justin nonverbally try to deny Brian’s claims. 

Then, almost as suddenly, Justin’s walls crashed down, and his shoulders slumped. He turned back around, and Brian could see the brokenness and hurt in his eyes. It ripped Brian’s heart out, crumpled it up, and shoved it back into his chest. The blond didn’t move closer to Brian, opting to move toward his bed a bit further back in the room. Brian let him. Though his arms itched to grab the younger man and never let him go, he knew that Justin needed to call the shots if he was ever going to get honesty out of him.

So, Brian simply followed Justin to his bed and then sat on the edge while Justin crawled back into the center, where he clearly slept. Brian silently observed as the blond curled himself up into a ball as if needing to protect himself from the conversation about to happen. Brian waited until Justin seemed settled, and then he placed his coffee on the bedside stand and crawled into the bed. He settled in right next to Justin, above the covers allowing the younger man to have all the comfort blankets he needed.

Then, Brian tentatively reached out and placed his hand on Justin’s shoulder.

“No one else can see what I see. Because they aren’t looking for it.” Brian whispered, subconsciously knowing that Justin needed reassurance that his walls worked for almost everyone.

Justin quietly nodded, his eyes meeting Brian’s with a vulnerability he hadn’t seen since that night at Woody’s right after Justin was released from the hospital post-bashing. Brian wanted to wrap him up in his arms and take away whatever struggles and pain Justin was currently feeling. It took some time, with the two of them lying there in silence, for Justin to finally speak.

“I can’t keep up.” His voice is tiny and insecure, but Brian chooses to stay quiet and just listen. “Most gallery owners want a series of art pieces before they even think about considering featuring you. My hand…”

Brian’s heart broke as he looked at the hand Justin was presenting to him. His mangled hand, which was also his art-creating hand. Even now, just lying here relaxing, Brian could see that it spasmed frequently. Brian reached over and placed warm, gentle hands on the tightened tendons and massaged them. Justin’s face loosened up, and he closed his eyes.

“Okay. So, create a bunch of art and then give a big fuck you to the gallery owners.” Brian knew as soon as he said it this wasn’t what Justin was looking for as a solution.

“It doesn’t matter, Brian. I can’t make art fast enough to support living here. I got a job at a diner on 52nd Street in Manhattan, which pays the bills, but doesn’t leave me any energy to paint or draw. Michael keeps hounding me about the next issue.” Justin paused to take a deep breath. “I’m just so tired.”

Brian swallows what he really wants to say, knowing that begging Justin to come back to Pittsburgh wouldn’t be productive. Instead, he pulled Justin against his chest and hugged him tight.

“I just feel so alone and scared all the time. I was never like this in Pittsburgh, looking over my shoulder, worried someone was going to attack me.” Justin added with a big sigh.

Brian pulled back from Justin. There had to be a reason Justin was scared of his own shadow here. Sure, there was always a bit of nervousness when you first moved to a new city, but it shouldn’t still be around after six months. He looked over Justin with trained eyes. There was a physical exhaustion present in every bit of his body. 

“Justin,” Brian whispered, his fear that Justin had been hurt and didn’t tell anyone bubbling just under the surface.

“I’m fine,” Justin mumbled, but he broke eye contact and started fiddling with the blanket on the bed.

“I think you’ve said that word so many times over the last six months it’s started to lose all meaning,” Brian replied, not letting Justin cower away again.

“But, I am. Fine, I mean.” Justin argued, setting his blazing gaze on Brian as if to prove a point.

“Justin, I was dumb enough to believe you when you said that multiple times over the last few months. I honestly can’t believe it took me this long to see it. You’ve been spiraling since you moved.” Brian stroked his cheek, “I just can’t understand why you weren’t honest with me.”

“Because!” Justin’s outburst caused Brian to recoil a bit. They both sat up on the bed. “You had been the one who told me I would be missing out on an opportunity of a lifetime if I didn’t even try to do my art here in New York. Lindsay was constantly telling me how wonderful of an artist I am. Debbie and my mom constantly told me they were proud of me. I was failing miserably, and I didn’t want to say anything because I had to prove that I could do this one thing on my own. Eventually, I would hear everything you guys were saying to me but let it go in one ear and out the other because I knew the truth. I am a terrible artist who was stupid and naive enough to think New York was my calling.”

Once Justin paused to take a deep breath, Brian moved closer to him and pulled the young blond against his side.

“I would never think you failed. I am proud of you for trying. Do you think I always succeeded at everything I did when I was in my early 20s?” Brian placed a kiss on Justin’s temple. “Please don’t shut me out, Justin. I…” Brian paused, still struggling to be emotionally present for the man he loved. “I worry about you.”

Justin lay his head on Brian’s shoulder and finally let his tears flow. He tightened his grip around Brian’s torso as if he was afraid Brian would disappear. 

“I was robbed in my first week.” Justin finally whispered, not looking at Brian, choosing instead to keep his head on the man’s shoulder. “I was walking home from the subway stop after work. A guy jumped me, took all my tips, and shoved me to the ground.”

Brian didn’t respond. Instead, he tightened his grip on Justin’s back. It brought the blond even closer to him and allowed Brian to put all his love into the physical contact. He wanted to yell and scream that Justin should’ve told him. But he knew that Justin was reluctantly telling him now and that he needed Brian to be calm about it. Instead, Brian placed a kiss on the top of Justin’s head.

“So, what do you want to do?” Brian finally whispered after Justin seemed to calm down.

“Can we just lay here?” Justin’s voice was needy and vulnerable. Brian was not immune to it. 

“Of course. But I meant after. What do you want to do about New York?” Brian rubbed his fingers along Justin’s bicep and waited.

“I can’t quit.” Justin’s determination was finally seeping out of his every pore. “I said I would give it a year. It’s only been six months.”

“Justin.” Brian started but found he couldn’t quite get the words to come out. He worried that Justin staying would mean he’d just get worse and worse. The thought of Justin not being around broke his heart in two.

“Brian, I can’t come back to Pittsburgh with my tail between my legs.” Justin’s eyes pierced into Brian’s soul.

Brian licked his lips. There was so much he wanted to say, but he wasn’t sure how well Justin would receive it. It was part of the reason it took him five years to admit to Justin that he loved him and wanted to be with him for the rest of his life. No one had really ever given him the chance to be vulnerable, except for Justin. Now was no different, or at least it shouldn’t be, but it was.

Taking Justin’s hand in his, Brian slipped out of their intimate embrace in order to be face-to-face with Justin. He needed to see the young man’s eyes when he said what he needed to say.

“I don’t know what I would become if you weren’t around. You make me a better man. I believe in love and commitment because you showed me how. I don’t want to live in a world that doesn’t have you in it.” Brian was practically begging Justin by the end. “Being here makes you so depressed you no longer believe the people who love you when they tell you good things about yourself.”

Justin reached out and placed his hands on Brian’s cheeks, boxing his face in and forcing the older man to look at him as he spoke. Not that he needed to. Justin had Brian’s full attention.

“I’m not depressed. I’m not so bad.” Justin said the words, but Brian didn’t believe them because Justin’s tone didn’t instill confidence.

“Justin, be honest with yourself,” Brian whispered gently.

After resisting for some time, Justin’s demeanor crumpled once again, and he leaned his head against Brian’s chest. “I miss you.”

Brian pulled Justin’s head up so that they were making eye contact once more. “I miss you, too. So, damn much.”

“But, what do we do with that?” Justin’s eyes searched Brian’s face for some kind of answer.

“You stay here since you insist that you can’t ‘quit.’ And I will come visit.” Brian forced a smile. He was nervous that Justin would reject him. Even now, after Justin had confessed he missed the brunet.

“The reason we went our separate ways instead of getting married was because of this very thing. I need to do my own thing, no matter how much it hurts, and you need to let me.” Justin pulled away from Brian and stood up off the bed.

“You staying here is you doing your own thing. Me coming to visit isn’t me stopping you. It’s merely a suggestion for how we can miss each other less.” Brian also got off the bed and stood before Justin. “I would never stop you from your dreams. Me wanting to be here is so I can support you.”

“Brian, I need to do this on my own.” Justin’s petulant nature was back in full force. Brian rubbed his temples in frustration.

“Justin. You are! I want to support you. That means be there as you struggle and celebrate with you as you triumph. It doesn’t mean I’m going to turn around and force some gallery owner to show your stuff by throwing money at him.” Brian paused to catch his breath briefly before he hammered his last point across. “That’s such an insult to the insane talent that you naturally have.”

“You have to say that. You love me.” Justin brushed him off.

“Bullshit.” Brian spit out, trying to remain calm but extremely frustrated at Justin’s stubbornness. “I once told Michael that I would tell you if something you made was bullshit, and I stand by that. If your art was shit, I wouldn’t keep trying to buy it off you.”

“You just want to provide for me.” Justin continued to resist taking Brian’s compliments. 

Brian wrapped his arms around Justin, boxing him in this time around. “And what’s so bad about that? Can’t I want to support you and show you that you are brilliant while also providing for you?”

Justin looked into Brian’s eyes, trying to read him for any lies he may have uttered. But he soon realized something, “You mean it.”

“I’ve never meant anything more. I love you, Justin. And for me, that’s not an easy thing to admit.” Brian leaned his forehead against the younger man’s, “So, let me worry about you and take care of you.”

Instead of answering, Justin leaned back and pulled Brian into an emotional kiss.

[tibbycaps]

I need to confess something and i think you are the only guy that could comprehend

For the past week, i was only able to sleeping 2-3h and kept finding myself awake and swetting in bed, just waked up by a vivid nightmare.

And i swear the only thing i remember is the voice of goodtimewithscar saying "its time to go yonkly spoikly!" Or something dumb like that and i have no idea what horrors happen after that that i consistently wake up.

Am i cursed???????

anon i think you’ve been visited by an angel and this is the best thing ive heard in my entire life

[pinkandhobiqueen]

It's 4AM. I need to wake up in 3h. But now I can't sleep, because I realized, that Hua Cheng and Xie Lian are literally Ta Hwan and Ki Seung-nyang from Empress Ki in another universe (if we close our eyes on the relationship with Wang Yoo and his entire existence actually). Like, please someone tell me, that they see it too, I'm not crazy (maybe a little sleep deprived)😭

[whimseee]

mercury, 3H , jupiter, and pluto for the ask game if youre still interested in doing it!!! ^^

hi eden!!! oh yippee thank you for stopping by!!!

mercury ⇢ are you a talkative person?

I’m oftentimes more of a listener than a talker. I think I have a little of both in me, though, and I deeply enjoy having conversations with people who can practice both too! I love exchanging the gift of being listened to because it’s like saying “I love you”! I also love talking with strangers + acquaintances. it makes me really feel like I’m part of a community and have all these connections! like, I’ll never be alone no matter what!

3H ⇢ what are some of the topics you like to talk about the most?

I typically have different things I talk about with different people, you know, like varying preferred topics between us. usually when I’m catching up with a friend, I like to tell funny stories about what’s been happening in my life or with my family. and of course I always enjoy talking about my interests + finding shared interests with people so we can gush together!!

jupiter ⇢ do you consider yourself a lucky or unlucky person?

I think that saying there’s good or bad luck isn’t necessarily something I want to be set on, because that can lead to being stuck in disappointment or the mentality of “this is who I am”…but personally I do feel that I’m very lucky lol 🤗 I have a lot of gratitude for everything in my life!! basic needs fulfilled, many loved ones, luxuries like the time to do my hobbies + getting an education. and also there’s been many close calls on my life while driving (oopsies) that I only survived out of chance. phew! I have never been in a single accident 🤞 also a fun fact is that I’ve never not gotten a job I’ve interviewed for, and have in fact been offered jobs without being interviewed lol—I think that’s luck w/ meeting the right people at the right time!

pluto ⇢ tell something supernatural that happened to you

👀 supernatural you say (ahem, I’ve been enjoying that show again lol). but jokes aside, I’m not sure if this is “supernatural” per say, but sometimes I get dreams of people in my life who have passed away. for a few years after my friend died when I was a teenager, I’d get dreams of being a kid in middle school with her again, going about our lives. she would try to explain to me that she was dead, and I’d be like, “what are you talking about? you’re right here!” and she’d get a little frustrated and we would change the topic. just a little more time to spend together, I think. I would wake up from that and remember that she was telling the truth in the dream, and that was always hard.

I also sometimes get dreams of my great grandma—I was very lucky to get to know my great grandparents when I was a kid. in the dreams, I’m usually visiting their house and she tells me stories. a particularly vivid one: I was sitting at the counter in her kitchen and she was making lunch, and she was telling me about how she was doing at my age + telling me that it was going to be alright. she’s watching out for me 🫂

[officeobject]

This is today's compilation of donation things - I make these once a day, and I do get every new person who reached out, on the list

aiamaher

3h ago

aiamaher asked:

Hello this is me Aya.. ‏🇵🇸

everything and suddenly you wake up with nothing left.That's exactly what happened with us .we moved from having everything to having nothing.In a blink of an eye ,we lost everything, our house ,dreams,

memories belongings and our works. We are starting from zero and need your help to climb the leader step by step from scratch.

All the positive words cannot express how generous you are, especially in sharing my posts to inform other donors about the people of Gaza who are still suffering from the terrible conditions caused by the unjust war on Gaza!

Please continue to support us by donating directly or by sharing the link to let others know. Don't hesitate to help people in difficult and miserable times until the dark days are over. 🙏🏻🍉

https://gofund.me/c4c2cf82

Answer

ibrahimm5

13h ago

ibrahimm5 asked:

Hello world, I am Ibrahim from Gaza. I have been displaced several times. I live in a small tent. My family and I are 8 people. We have children. We have been bombed and killed several times, and we miraculously survived. I created my campaign to collect donations to feed my family and evacuate them to safety.

Link

👇👇

https://gofund.me/cf6ec5aa

Answer

aboodalqedra-4

20h ago

aboodalqedra-4 asked:

🙏Please donate a small amount that may save my father's life, only 36€ left to buy my father's treatment, his doctor's appointment is tomorrow, please do not ignore my message and do not hesitate to help me❤️‍🩹

Blurred because you don't follow this Tumblr yet. Click to reveal.

[yanderefairyangel]

*sight*

Alright so basically was again talking about Engage story and how I thought it did a better job then 3H with someone and at first it was very cordial, but when I said that in Engage, animals, clothing and dishes are linked to the area unlike in 3H where everything is linked to the monastery, I wake up to a condescending reply where I am told I have no reading skills and as much media literacy as a 3 year old and that I was straight up lying, before getting blocked with no chance to reply to this person... who managed to misunderstood something I said in less then 2 lines. So I decided that instead of just ranting I would actually use this to show how the Somniel is better then the monastery while explaining further this idea because I actually think it's a clever idea and shows why you should never rely only on conveying your worldbuiling through telling.

So what do I mean by linked ? In both Engage and 3H you have many things originating from all the continents, but in 3H everything is linked to the monastery whereas in Engage it's not, the only thing that is linked to the Somniel is what originates from Lythos in terms of dishes or clothing, and only because the Somniel is part of Lythos.

If you want something originating from Firene, you need to unlock said region from Firene first while keeping in mind that the animals or materials avalaible in let's say , the map of chapter 4 is not avaliable in chapter 5's map and slightly different then in map 6. Same can be said about Brodia, Elusia and Solm and even once you unlocked those areas, you still need to make donations to be able to unlocked some dishes in the Somniel, some outfits or to adopt some animals. Therefore, we understand that those are all linked to the different areas of the world it originates from, all the more so when Engage having no NG+ if you replay another file, you have to do this again giving a real meaning to the exploration phase. It's also giving you the sense that Alear is actually gaining knowledge on the world they live in and are getting used to it, fitting with their own character developpement of slowly stepping more and more into their role as the Divine dragon. Additionally it helps making the Somniel much more tolerable because it gives you a sense of progression, it doesn't feel monotone nor routine like. You get to visit different landscapes that are moreover beautifully designed with colorful graphics meaning you are less likely to feel bored and feel like you are repeting over and over again the same thing. The fact that the more you progress into the story, the more you unlock stuff even activites linked to one specific character (work out => Alfred, Wyrvern riding =>Ivy etc) so it makes the Somniel feel actually meanigful and gives the feeling that Alear is getting used to their world, as well as varying in the Somniel during the playthrough so that at no points it feels boring while still leaving the possiblity to skip the Somniel when you don't want to go back to it. The only cons of this strategy is that it's up to the player to actually seek for the world and do the exploration and donations but depending on what you want to see on your first playthrought, it actually leaves you the choice.

Now in 3H. The monastery is the place where you end up spending most of the game and oh boy does it hurts the story. So while 3H has this gigantic worldbuilding, the main problem is that it's conveyed through dialogue. And unlike Engage where you had only 2 chapters of Lumera and Alfred explaining the whole world to Alear and then lefting the rest to explore so that the story could focus on it's events and left the support dwell more into it as well, the characters will very, very , very often repeat the same wordlbuilding elements. So now, while 3H also let you cook specialty from Adestria, Faerghus or Leicester or let you pet animals from diverses regions... you never work for them. They aren't linked to the area of the world they originate from, they are all linked to the monastery as they are already there. All you need to do is to fufill the request that unlocked the cooking activity. It's not "Oh I went to Faerghus and now that I visited the place I can cook any dishes originating from there", no it's already there. And while I get it since Garrech March is the center of the world and that with these many students from all over the continent, they need to have a lot of recipes from all around the world, it kills the creativity because everything is handed to you, you just need to do some secondary quest rather then actually explore the world so as a result, the only thing you have to do is do monastery activities rather then visit the world to get them. Same thing for the animals, they aren't linked to their world, but to the monastery and thus everything is avalaible regardless of which route you choose. Even in Leicester you can have stuff from Faerghus in the monastery because it is linked to it rather then to the place it originates from, so it creates a very monotone thing in the monastery that contributes to its repetitveness and gives little variety to the route you choose. And when the game asks you to replay everytime the first 12 chapter, let's say that it's not good. And with NG+ it's worse because the necessity to gain activity point that gave the impression Byleth was becoming a better teacher is ruined by the sole fact that all the points you had can be re-acquired right at the begining despite you doing nothing to deserves it on this playthrough.

Moreover, it never feels like Byleth is learning about the world they live in because the characters will constantly acts as if they didn't knew about... everything. It doesn't matter how much time you can spend at the library reading about the family and the world, for reasons the character will always treat you as if you didn't read those. And this is because of being a route game. Since 3H can't know which routes you'll play first, it constantly treats every 12 chapters as if you never played the others while also taking into account that you might have played the others and trying to rely on that for a lot of things. It creates a paradox, but paradoxes never works and it actually hurts the story because one of the reasons why 3H feels so easy to burn out from is the repetiteveness and the monastery being that one place where all the worldbuiling is stocked into when it's not conveyed through dialogue or supports or the main story, it only makes the monastery more and more tedious. Compare that to the Somniel where you have the possiblity to skip those phase, where when you go to the donations maps, you can notice the difference between the different areas, to the world exploration phases after battle where the title screen will appear to tell you "that you don't know enough about said animal to adopt it", where you have to make donations to unlock all these regions linked items. There is more variety here.

If Engage was a route game where you can side with any of the 4 kingdoms, no doubt it would have a real advantage over 3H by the fact that these exploration phases and unlockable items linked to the regions they originate from with what's more, the possiblity to observes the landscape gives much more variety and diversity making the whole Somniel and fighting phases less monotone. In 3H, the only variety offered by choosing your path is your students, whom you can recruit anyway no matter what houses you choose, so it ends up that 3H's has little variety. Imagine if depending on whether you choose Black Eagles or Blue Lions, you end up with different stuff for each route : different pets to pet, different plants to plant, different dishes to cook and if you could unlock outfits linked to these regions rather then having only the outfits that are Garrech March made since you can only choose to dress your units between differents uniforms or a maid/butler outfit. Say whatever you want about Engage's design, but at least, it lets you dress your units as how people in the kingdoms traditionally dress up. But since the only NPC you can intereact with in 3H are people of the monastery, it once again kills that diversity. In Engage, you can talk to NPC living there in their environement. In 3H you can't. The only way you know how people of Faerghus dress is by looking at Dima and the other with their outfit that seems to fit more for a country where there is a cold climate but that's about it.

And worse : since 3H recylcles a lot of maps and place present in the support for the dialogue even in main story, it's even less varieted. It gives even more the impression that you don't move, that everything is static. And it's not even that all maps are the same, but the fact you have so little opportunity to appreciate going outside of the monastery makes it hard to project yourself. You can literaly go click on map yet it feels like you don't move at all and mainly due to the calendar system. Outside of battle and side mission, can you really say that 3H lets you explore the world ? And is it really that different between the routes ?

You wanna know a game that does exactly like Engage ? Fates. Freaking Fates.

Fates has its flaw, but diversity and variety was not one of them. When you choose Hoshido, you get special item originating from Hoshido in my Castle and since those aren't available if you choosed Nohr, so that means those ressources are linked to Hoshido and that gives more variety to the playthrough.You have to choose an entire route to get to have both ressources. It gives actual variety to the landscape and life to the world. 3H in comparision hands you everything it has no matter which route you choose : dishes ? all there in the monastery. Animals that can be found in variying regions of Fodlan ? They are all already in the monsatery, no need to visit any country to adopt them. Clothing ? All comming from the monastery, no way you can cosplay as some villager from Remire or any palce you are curious about.

What I am trying to say, it's that by showing its worldbuiling and letting you explore the world and do all these little stuff, Engage is able to make it's world more lively and creates an actual dynamic between Alear and Elyos rather then having them staying passive. In 3H, the worldbuilding is always presented to us but the fact that it is linked to the monastery and not avalaible in any other context ruins it and fails to give it life, if anything it gives everything to the player no matter the route making the experience feels shallow which is what I am sure player that feels like 3H has this enormous worldbuilding and does nothing with it comes from. It's great to have a big worldbuilding, but because everything is tied to the monastery rather then the region it is originating from, it ends up feeling like there is no substance in this worldbuilding and in 3H's case it hurts even more due to how it makes the replay experience so repetitive. You can play a different route, but the monastery phase will remain pretty much the same since it's the same story for 12 chapters, only some dialogue changes and different scene... doesn't help a lot does it ?

And you are pretty much forced to play the monastery phase just because you need to boost your teacher points to unlock every monastery feature but with NG+ it's only once you'd have to do that since you won't have to do it for the next playthrough making the whole thing even more tedious.

The Somniel in comparison is not only very easily skippable, but the fact that it gets more and more feature because of your progression in the story and the world rather then your Somniel activity does convey a progression rythm making the exploration phase worth it. Unlike for Garrech March were the feature depended only on how much you invested into monastery actvity, for the Somniel the feature rely on your progression into the world. And the lack of NG+ in Engage actually respect that every of these feature is linked to the world and that's up to the player to search for them, unlike the monastery where everything is handed to you, linked to the monastery and therefore making it that the world of Fodlan fails to come to life.

This tell don't show way of exposing the worldbuilding that 3H has is really a big flaw, especially for the gigantic world it created for itself. Engage has a simpler and smaller world, but the fact it lets you explore it and most importantly, interact with the world rather then being locked into the Somniel like Rapunzel in her tower helps it give it life, it breaks the possible monotony of the Somniel by giving variety to your moves.

If 3H had a world hub phase like Engage, you have no idea how this would improve it's wordbuilding by giving it actual substance. At first Engage's activity might seems like silly little fun, but it actually gives you a dynamic and active relationship to said world rather then staying at home and having everything handed to you over

Now that's not saying Engage has a perfect worldbuilding but I can say that if the devs had a library like for 3h, it's likely that to fill it you'd have to again unlock the kingdoms first to have them in the Somniel and it's possible they might have you have a mini games like a quizz with Vander since it's how it worked for all the Royals having a special activity to train Alear. And in the case of 3H, if the reading could actually pay off. That would be an improvement.

[studentbyday]

time-blocked today bc i'm feeling so overwhelmed and while i can't accurately estimate how long a task will take no matter the planning method, in times of stress, it's easier to be slightly more realistic when i time-block vs make a to-do list (except when it comes to my wake-up times...like today i was supposed to wake up at 7:30 but i didn't sleep early enough so i moved it to 8. at 8 i went back to bed and here i am starting my day at 10 🤦🏻‍♀️) 😅 nevertheless, i hope i can finish what i need to... 🤞😣 nothing like exam season to make you feel like you have no idea how to be a good student 🙃

learning:

check and send biochem assts (i put it down for 1h and it ended up taking 50 mins - surprisingly not bad 😂) ✅

review for mol bio midterm (i put it down for 3h and it ended up taking ... 3 h and 30 mins + however many mins the breaks amount to bc i was terrible at following them...again. i'm on the 2nd half of module 2 but i can't concentrate anymore so imma continue tmr morning...it shouldn't take that long... 😬) ✅ (so y'know how i was like "mol bio is easier than biochem b/c you're just focused on a subset of it"? well. i take that back. trying to cram in 2 large module's worth of mol bio in 1 day and my brain is choking on all the molecules and mechanisms and little cofactors/residues 😅)

finish psyc ch 1/3

finish mol bio sections 1-2

self-care:

physio exercises ✅

journal ✅

D-53 DAYS TO FREEDOM: every now and then i get this inexplicable longing for *smth* that i feel is missing from my life and usually it turns out that that thing is music. i think to truly have a rejuvenating break (ugh i wish it was December already 😅), i need to switch up the balance between arts and STEM.

🎶 my day in music 🎶

[araminthe]

Friday, 9th of August / Vendredi 9 août 2024

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Sleep: 5 am to 12 am [6-7h of sleep]

Also took a nap from 8pm to 9.30pm

Health: ate pretty healthy. But didn't move much.

Work / Focus : journaled and revised for my driving license [~3h maybe?]

Main event: Some family came over to stay with the night, there is 3 children with them, on top of my 3 small siblings.

My oldest sister ♡ also came to stay for the night. I'm happy to see her since she doesn't live with us anymore.

Detailed description:

(This part can be skipped, no need to care about my life, I'm writing this for myself)

I have some family that came over during the day, they're staying for the night (they're 5 to stay, dont even know where they'll sleep, our appartement is already small enough) and they're 3 children with them.

Then, during the evening, my older sister also comes over to stay for the night, she didn't know we had guests. So now we're sooo much in the house, children everywhere (because I already had 3 small siblings + the 3 that came), I can't focus on my work T-T

Glad we have a park right in front of our appartement, the children can go out and play.

So I work during that time, then at 8pm I start to feel drowsy so I take a nap. (Of 1h30)

When I wake up, I journal, help a bit with the chores, spend some time talking with my sister, then work again and it's already 3, so I'm sleeping late again.

We also found a solution for who will sleep where (fortunately we have 2 extra mattresses for when guests come and stay for the night)

We make the young boys sleep together on 2 mattress next to another in my brother's room, (but there's no place for my brother to sleep, so we just tell him to stay at our cousins place, he was at their house all day anyway so it's not a problem).

My dad also decides to stay at his friend's place, so just like that, the guests and the family all have a place to sleep. (But I don't have a pillow anymore, someone took it).

Feelings about today: I'm proud of the work I did.

At first I was also worried about all those children having to stay in the house, on top of my 3 siblings, but it was alright since they didn't mess too much, they just played outside or in one room and were pretty calm.

And the guests weren't burdensome, we were happy to have them over, we just needed to make some place for them to sleep.

And then, I was so so happy my sister came over. She's the only sibling older than me, she's the true oldest daughter, since she left the house I only took her role, she's the original, and she's so damn cool.

So yeah, I'm the second child and after me there are 4 more.

And I'm just realizing that my younger sisters see me the way I see my older sister (lets call her K) ; so like a model, and the incarnation of class and coolness.

Sometimes I see them copying me the way I would also copy K, and that's so so cute (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

Anyway that's it.

Wish a great day to whoever will read that <3

Bisou bisou les amis.

[lunashifts]

20. March 2024 - shifting journal 1 🌙

I always wanted to write about my journey but wanted to wait until something of note happened so here we are. It's nothing big but I want to document whenever I feel like I'm getting closer or I realized something.

So last night I woke up too early and still had almost 2 hours for sleeping so I decided to do a methode. I choose the "in between" methode by alunir om youtube because all the comments were really positive and I love alunir.

The methode was good and I'm definitely gonna try it again, I think I fell asleep too early because I think I'm supposed to wait until she says so and I also didn't wake up again when I was supposed to😅

but I did wake up when autoplay put another one of her videos as the next one. It was louder than the other so I woke up from that but I didn't open my eyes yet and I felt a little weird like I couldn't really feel my legs and didn't feel really there. The video was 3h loop of Dr questions so I just started answering them while also affirming that I'm in my dr bed. I tried to visualize my bedroom. I love visualization but I'm not that good at it yet. Anyway the biggest thing is that I faintly smelled vanilla which I scripted I would smell from a candle on my nightstand. I tried really hard to feel and hear other things.

At this point I'm not sure what was real or what I imagined because I could swear I felt I had a different pajamas on and like the sun was coming from the direction of my dr window not my cr window. But I couldn't hear anything except alunirs video. It's then I realized I never scripted anything I should hear when waking up. Which honestly is the biggest realization I took from this. Because I live in a big house and it's early morning of course I wouldn't hear anything. So I'm definitely gonna add something to my script for that.

So while I was visualizing I got a little impatient because I just wanted to feel I'm there, I knew my alarm was gonna go off soon and I didn't want it to ruin my attempt. (Spoiler: it did, even though I told myself it's my dr alarm😩) so I started to imagine what it would be like when I wake up. What I will do etc. I did that in a different attempt too and right when I was going downstairs to see my s/o my alarm went off before I could see them. Well this time it was the same thing! Even though I rushed through my morning routine this time.

So yea my alarm went off and even though I tried to visualize it being on my dr nightstand it didn't work and I opened my eyes to my cr room 😭

So yeah. I wouldn't count it as minishift because it wasn't solid enough for me to say it wasn't all imagined. But this helped me realize what I need to add to my script and I will definitely do the methode again. Thanks alunir for helping the shifting community 🌠

If you for some reason read all that then thank you 💖