#i needed to draw this for myself to conceptualize em all @_@

[heuldoch7b]

four of them

[moonpie016]

Moon goes on a whole talking session.

*Walks in and realizes that this is becoming a frequent thing to post on here. And I'm happy about that, because I get to show what I make all the time. :]*

But now onto the drawings, and will eventually make a list on things I want to do next because that'll help me stay on track.

---

Positive stuff below the drawing.

---

It's the dudes inside my head, yay. Though they're all asleep, well two of em are. I drew this for whatever purpose it would serve, that being that my insides, while still a confused state and overall over reactive response to anything that needs rephrasing. Or just anything that happens, good, bad, whatever, that it has a way of comforting itself. It tries.

It tries to do the bare minimum of existing, even if it is tricky with having to always remember and think of more to do.

How to react appropriately, how to understand things to its full capability. How to understand others and everything more.

It's difficult, not in the way that doing things is difficult, but however that goes. These conceptualized beings of emotion have existed for some time, don't remember when but they have. But they always hadn't looked like this, obviously/lh.

But they all serve the same purpose combined or separate.

---

And, to go completely off topic, to go ramble.

Songs have whatever emotional attachment they can hold, whether important or not, it's just something that sticks. Helps.

And as you can see how much art I make, how many times I've probably listened to most of all the songs on repeat by now, what random pieces of dialogue I'll spew to write.

Chonny's music is comfort. Now it isn't just his, other artists as well. But those aren't important rn. His music in general, not just CCCC. Through whatever emotional moment months ago that made me feel lost and confused on what to do, what do I do now. I needed to find something to latch onto, if not, I'd feel..off. like I wasn't doing anything, because I wasn't doing anything. I tried to get into stuff but it wasn't working, like it needed to naturally happen instead of force myself.

The music has related to my state of mind (no pun) at certain points. And I find that comforting. Concerning? Maybe, but comforting.

Like, getting into what's popular, what new game, but that didn't work. And I'm kinda happy my brain decided to be now fixated on this man's music. Sure every time I'd like to explain or show someone, I need to specify and always show specific songs. Cus. Yeah. But now, I see people's work and stuff, and it's all so cool. And though the inconsistency of this blog is very apparent. I've enjoyed my time on here, very much. Even if I don't always actually speak to someone, because I don't really know what to say or start a conversation. (Seeds/social anxiety). I'm still happy for whatever interaction I get. I'm happy to feel included in this bizarre/pos and silly household. Idk why I'm calling it a household. Just go with it.

Even if I linger around or just post a drawing, I'm enjoying it. Some artwork may be more serious than silly. But yeah.

And to also just say whatever without rethinking is great, now I'm not going to say anything out of word. But just being silly in general with my wording. Y'know? Make odd jokes or talk excessively. (Wow).

Sum it up, I appreciate you all. Though you don't know me or I know you, it means a lot. I didn't think a joke about Heart beating up Mind would be turned into anything else, or that people would actually say anything.

This is just a happy little appreciation thing. I don't know how to end it! I just felt to write this.

So, uh yeah. :3

*Runs back into the hills*

Thanks for reading my ramble/pos.

---

[real-goblin-p33]

update:

i went to see my friend and give him back the necklace he bought me...

it's an expensive one, it's gold- with a pretty angel...

I'm not comfortable with gifts like that though, aha

and I'm not the type that wears fancy stuff like that...

(I felt like he bought me the necklace as an apology for something that he did prior to this... so I was very sus)

but bruh

this dude says things to me that make me so irritated sometimes, he talks like he thinks I'm crazy all the time and it's very frustrating

so I took a walk around town to process this

but I ended up exploring myself in even more ways!

someone's song is popping into my head

"I took a spin in the wind the other day..."

that song has a great feeling about it, way better than I felt, it's an inspiring song!!

anywho

i felt bummed and lonely at first that I didn't have anyone to share the time with- it woulda been more fun to have someone to goof with

at least the wind was nice

I'm excited for spring, it fills me with hope

cuz everything is coming alive again!>:3

so smelling these winds of change, and breathin' 'em in deep,

i remind myself that God is with me, and I push away the pointless thoughts-

but I still felt anger to process

and kept walking

there were people doing something at the church when I was walking by,

so I couldn't sit at the cemetery tonight

maybe it's better if I keep moving anyway, it helps me think

walking further toward the curve of the street, there's orange lights all down the next road

they're real pretty to me- the orange against the dark blue of the sky

i see them every morning I walk to work :3

if I live long enough, I'll draw em so you can see too :3

anyway, I was watching my shadow that began walking with me at the curve of the road,

and seeing this-

my shadow joining me-

helped my brain conceptualize some thoughts more clearly

I felt disappointed in myself for even thinking for wanting a hug from someone that treats me like that.

my shadow held me close,

and comforted me,

cause that's what friends do

and I'm the only one I want that typa stuff from anyway !

genuine...

i don't need anyone else to be alive right now, so why am I gonna waste time feeling all sad about it

(obvi biologically I was birthed into existence and given some nutrients until I could do it myself... but that's not my pointtt)

the only person keeping me alive is me with my free will (god willing, haha) and my spirit's desires

even if I spent my whole life alone, as long as I've got a good connection with self-

that isn't lonely- that's fulfilling.

cause I'm gonna keep pushing and motivating myself to do the things that fuel me to be alive- this is the gift that nobody can give me

I'm so grateful (cuz being blinded by my pain, years ago, I wouldn't have thought of it this way)

the universe brought me life experiences to help me learn what I need to know to be here right now.

feeling bummed out about not having someone around to do stuff with is a waste of my time!!

when I could be pushing and climbing my way up to a better reality where my dreams are!

some have already come true, so I will keep trying!!

I'm hungry so bad

glad I felt well enough to write this! woo hoo :3

i really wanted to be anywhere but home tonight...

but I gotta take care of myself

instead of running wild away from everyone...

I hate feeling stuck

my heart feels drained right now, and I'm really hungry

goodnight ☆

[astyle-alex]

Common Sense Meets the Autism Spectrum:

| a Parental Aide for ALL |

Last month was Autism Awareness Month, and in honor of that I've whipped up a little Parental Aide to help all grown-ups understand neuro-divergence a tiny bit better. I meant to post it here during the last week of April, but I forgot because of the craziness with Finals... But since Autism and neurodivergence doesn’t just magically go away at the end of April, here’s a little skim of it now:

I've recently been chatting with  a new consultation client / parent whose child has been recently diagnosed with Autism, and it got me thinking about the unfortunate nonsense surrounding the entire societal black hole of neuro-atypical / neuro-divergent presentations, especially in 'unusual' cases.

The first thing that needs to be said is IT'S A SPECTRUM, and it's honestly a comprehensive population spectrum, which means that EVERYONE IS ON IT.

Yes, say it with me: Everyone is on the Autism Spectrum.

From being perfectly, generically neuro-typical humans to rage-murder psychopaths to non-verbal, high-physical autistic kids to sociopathic con-artists. It's a SPECTRUM.

Accepting that is the first part of understanding it. And it's sometimes helpful to know in order for parents still in diagnosis shock to have something that reconnects them to their child.  If you've recently received  a diagnosis and you've dissociated at all, or know someone who is in that situation, knowing that the parents and the child involved are both still on the same spectrum, can help.

(It's a sense of cohesion and sameness that parents dream up for offspring, and can be problematic if over-done, which is why parents sometimes force their hobbies / goals onto children or react poorly to LGBTQ+ explorations / self-discoveries, both of which are fodder for plenty of other posts).

Once the spectrum is accepted, we can move on to understanding it better, and to diagnosing attributes of it that are affecting  our lives.  Knowing these attributes can help us navigate them, even in a capacity where the effect of them is not so severe that we call it a neurodivergence.

There's a stigma with mental illness, and autism is a trigger word regarding that, but it shouldn't be. We don't (as much, any more, at least) shame people who don't have clinical anxiety, but still exhibit crowd skittishness or phone distress or choice paralysis. And, honestly, mild autism frequently presents as anxiety, in our current popular understanding, as it's often limited to one or two aspects of life that provoke dramatic aversion responses where as actual, general anxiety is usually a more evenly distributed with lower-key hesitance / avoidance.  Mild autism also presents as ADD / ADHD (and in my opinion the ADD / ADHD diagnosis tools are essentially boiling things down to 'not a psychopath but probably autistic, but not like the autism in in the popular imagination').

We accommodate the small symptoms of both autism and anxiety, adjust what we can and power through what we can't.

That adjustment is a lot easier when we know the triggers for the distress.

Now, the scaling systems I'm about to share are not professional, not part of the DSM, and not a tool of formal diagnosis. Consult a licensed professional before taking any big steps, but take a look at these scaling systems to help start a conversation (even if it's only with yourself). I might have another post on adjustment strategies, because these don't really address the links between presents-as-anxiety and autism, but for now, we're just gonna look at how to start asking questions and how to wrap your brain around the biggest bit of the autism concept.

Again, none of this is a diagnosis or a practical guide on how to cope, but it is helpful to be generally informed enough to start recognizing issues / asking questions about what else might be affected by a given  place on a scale.

So, Autism is a spectrum, right?

Well, technically, it's multiple spectrums.

There are several sub-spectrums that layer over each other.

The crux of it, the most basic version specific to autism, is this:

Understands Emotion  --  vs  --  Does NOT Understand Emotion.

Now there are varied layers of that, such as  'displayed' emotion (like in facial expressions), or 'tonal' emotion (like voice tones), or even  'conceptual' emotion (as in the basic cause / nature of emotionality).

Plenty of kids understand Tonal Emotion (hearing and recognizing the difference between Mum is angry and Mum is happy), but not Conceptual (this is called being young, and usually gets grown out of as kids actually experience {and label} more emotions, the process starts at age 3 or 4, but honestly continues for most of life). Or kids may be able to hear tonal changes and interpret them accurately, but they don't read faces well (this is either a significant indicator of some sort of disconnect or, can indicate that the facial expressions they have seen shift do not shift in a way that is consistent with tonal changes {like if a parent is angry and tries to hide it with a smile}.). Some kids can track the changes in tone and expression but can connect them to a concept (such as 'fear' which doesn't develop as a concept to children until about age 5~7, even in horror-story situations, like children in warzones, only get a really nuanced concept fear a year or two earlier).

The second BIG scale to assess things on is intro- or outro-spective, and it's a 2-for1:

- misunderstand -- VS -- understands OWN emotions  

--  vs  --

- misunderstand -- VS -- understands OTHERS' emotions

AND misunderstands or understands the CAUSES of emotions in self / others, and why those causes and interpretations may be different for various individuals (which requires understanding the concept of there even being varied individuals, a process that ).

This is the line between "I like it, so others DO" vs  "I like it, so others MIGHT", that is difficult for young children. Having a distinct sense of a separate self is actually a complicated psychology process, and it takes over a year for most infants to even recognize that they have a reflection. If understanding the self/others division stays extremely difficult passed age 7-ish, we maybe should look more closely. But at the same time, it's rarely before that 5~7 range when kids begin to understand that shopping for a birthday present for a friend involves thinking about what the friend would like, and not what the kid themselves like.

And there's still gonna be moments of grown-up fan-rage at why don't people ship my ship?,  but all we might wanna do is limit time on Reddit or Tumblr when in anxiety mode.

The final BIG spectrum used in understanding these autism specific neuro-disconnects is one that revolves around concern for the disconnect:

Does not fully understand all aspects of Emotion and CARES that they don't.

--  vs  --

Does not understand and does NOT CARE.

This disconnect leads to Performative Emotion, which means acting the part of emotional responses without a full understanding of all aspects of them. Sometimes this is good, as in exhibiting quiet displeasure even though I think this warrants screaming because, I don't wholly understand what I or others feel, but I do understand the appropriate  / expected response. It can also be very bad, as in someone who understands the emotional response to pretend to have when a pet dies and is aware that doing so can cover that the pet was killed intentionally by said someone.

The last relevant spectrum isn't one that most people find critical, but I think it's important to delineate this one from the caring aspect. The previous note is specifically about caring in regards to the subjects understanding of emotion--and exclusively their understanding of emotion.

It is not a measure of concern for other respects of life, that spectrum is:

Sympathy   --   vs   --   Empathy

Now, defining terms is important here.

- Sympathy = care for how others feel

- Empathy = understanding / comprehension of how others feel

Someone who self-refers as an 'Empath' is actually expressing a high sympathy response, as in, I understand your pain so well, I feel it myself. What they mean to say, is that they understand the feeling and its causes well, and they care so much that they cause themselves to experience it.

This is also the line between Sociopaths and Psychopaths, as most people know it. The truth is a lot more nuanced, but basically, a Sociopath often lacks Sympathy, but has Empathy, where a Psychopath most often lacks both.

A Sociopath understands that they have a disconnect, cares that they do, and hides it by performing the emotive responses they are aware are appropriate (for the most part, occasionally making some exceptions due to exhaustion with the performance, or a lack of genuine care allowing for selective exploitation--making them great sales people / CEO's / business people / lawyers / writers / con-artists / Sherlockian private detectives etc).

A Psychopath either doesn't understand they have a disconnect, doesn't care that they do, or both. They rarely perform emotions and therefore often draw people in who feel trapped and in need of counter culture. They make great cult leaders, but not much else (occasionally business people, but some of them are cult leaders by a pseudonym). They truly CANNOT conform, and that can be seductive / freeing to others, but they also cannot conceive of anyone who decides to follow them ever changing their mind or not experiencing exactly the same  emotions / emotive responses to stimuli as they do.

BOTH are considered extreme presentations of their respective trait.

People with both very high and very low sympathy get exhausted around others.

Because experience other's emotions or pretending to care about others' emotions is HARD. It's work and it's exhausting on both ends.

People with both very high and very low empathy get anxious in not being around others for prolonged periods.

High-Em usually worries over current states (ie, what if something happened to them or what if they hate me now), whereas Low-Em usually worries over reunions (did I forget something someone else would've remembered, birthday, holiday, or that I was gonna bring you something we discussed).

And, as always, Presentations vary. HUGELY.

But sometimes, being told you're looking at an abstract a picture  of a dog, helps you spot the dog in the ink squiggles.

'Normal' isn't a fixed point, it's a range within every single subject presenting mild deviations that come together to form an average in a single person, and are then averaged again across populations.

Such data can always be understood better. And better understandings allow better accommodations to be made.  

Therefore, a given person's place on any part of any one of these spectrums needs to be assessed and reassessed constantly.

Also, if you're interested in learning more / supporting Autism Advocacy, check out a few more resources, but for the love of god DO NOT give money to Autism Speaks. Take a looks at THIS and do some research of your own! ^_^

Again, this is just a vague baseline, and it doesn't address symptoms like Face Blindness (in ability to recognize people by faces) or stimming (self-stimulation or emotive overwhelm release) or even environmental sensitivity (extreme dislike / like of certain noises, colors, light levels / sources, tactile sensations). Even so, it might be informative enough to start getting a conversation started and it'll be helpful for me to refer back to this one while making other Spectrum related posts.

^_~

For more on what I’m getting up to (and for more timely updates), check me out on Patreon!

[megatentious]

Megami Tensei where u at??

When you are down in the dumps about your favorite video game franchise and the future of a series that is special for you, sometimes you end up seeking it out in places that are … unexpected. I’m going to talk about how, over the last couple years, I ended up seeing three different flavors of Megami Tensei in three different games, and maybe by the end of this we can all end up feeling like it’s okay to move on with our lives. Just keep telling yourself that your favorite games are not your identity and it’s not that serious bruh but also tell yourself that it is therapeutic to collect many paragraphs of thoughts you have had about this to write at length about in your blog.

First up is a game that many many people have noticed is very Megaten and that is the Digimon RPG, Digimon Story: Cyber Sleuth. There was no reason at all for this to be as good of a game as it is. I have no special affinity for the cartoon show. I do not like the Devil Survivor character designer even a little bit. I do not find grinding and monster collecting for the sake of monster collecting entertaining. But from the very first trailer something seemed compelling, and as good word of mouth spread I decided this was going to be a game I needed to play.

Again, everyone has already commented on how Megaten this game feels, and for me the closest specific analogue is actually Raidou Kuzunoha. From the first extended trailer I noticed the jazzy main theme, the detective agency conceit, the visible partner monsters appearing in a Tokyo with bold camera angle choices, and felt a weird familiarity. Digimon also function very plainly as Megami Tensei demons in multiple ways, not only mechanically but also through their story roles. And the somewhat arcane stat manipulation needed for high-end Digivolving scratches the exact same itch as high-end Megaten fusion from previous SMT iterations, which is both a dangerous (100 hours of playtime good lord) and wonderful (100 hours of playtime good lord!) itch to scratch.

You need to put up with some annoying characters and prattling dialogue, but unlike other games there is no pretense here which absolutely helps. Also, re-interpreting traditional Japanese folklore through the lens of the Digimon world is something that never stopped being fascinating for me even amidst a sub-par localization, and as someone with low familiarity with the cartoon, the Digimon designs themselves were alternately hilariously bizarre, bafflingly stupid, and straight up awesome. They even have their own Lucifer! 

By the time you get to the second half of the story where the game completely changes and becomes about alliances and faction-building and what happens to a city facing apocalypse, when you take in the incredible atmosphere in Odaiba all buoyed by a soundtrack that has no right to be as good as it is, you start to feel optimistic about how Megaten influence can live on even outside of the series itself.

Next up is an entry from another series that is occasionally compared to SMT, but this one in particular feels like it was only played by two or three people at all when it was miraculously released earlier in 2019 for the Nintendo 3DS. I’m talking about Yokai Watch 3. Arriving close to three years after its initial Japanese release to utterly resounding indifference, this game’s hook is that you get to play in “America,” but as you can tell from the quotes around America this is actually much more complicated than it seems in a way that specifically draws comparison to my beloved Revelations: Persona. You see, the very Japanese Yokai Watch series city location of Sakura New Town, Japon, was localized here for us as Springdale, Springdale back in the first game. This decision has led to many wonderful incongruities moving forward that are honestly identical to those in the Lunarvale of Revelations: Persona. Gotta love these small American towns with Shinto temples in em!

With Yokai Watch 3’s plot focusing on the family moving to actual America though, and the cross-cultural hijinks that are meant to ensue, things quickly get even weirder and more strained. Protagonist Nate Adams complains about the difficulty of understanding southern accents while slurping down sukiyaki. Shopkeepers with tempura-based hairstyles serve traditional Japanese dishes in the quaint American township of St. Peanutsburg. Huge timezone differences between America and “America” are introduced. And all of this is refracted through the even more convoluted localization prism of this game about two versions of America being scripted by the British, leading to children aspiring to be “basketballers” and restaurants having “oriental” atmosphere.

I’m barely scratching the surface of the dissertation-worthy unpacking needed for all of this, and it’s difficult to describe just how deeply weird the vibe can get in this game. In just the first twenty minutes of Yokai Watch 3, you have 1) a purely nutso anime opening featuring scary demonic folklore-based yokai, robots, and cat mascots 2) Mulder and Scully very seriously discussing mysterious “Y Files” 3) a rhythm game where your very American family devours an enormous amount of sukiyaki 4) the same very American (or in the game’s terms, “Springdalian”) family leaving their home to move to the state? country? of “BBQ” and 5) suddenly you are an otaku girl going to a figure shop in “Sparkopolis.” This is just as delirious as it sounds.

Revelations Persona’s uncanny America atmosphere may be one of a kind, but Yokai Watch 3’s frequently insane scenarios can sometimes recall a similar sort of lunacy that leads you to end up fighting a giant mechanical rat while a song with the track name “Child Abuse” plays, or chatting up a populace of mole-covered rainbow afro’d citizens in a locked down mall. At one point after returning from one of Yokai Watch 3’s various alternate dream worlds (very Persona!) my game was even afflicted with a commonly reported glitch that caused the environmental textures to not load, leading to a flat polygon world and some authentic PSX Lunarvale vibes. Throw in all the folktales and mythology involved in the yokai themselves and straight up demon fusion in a cathedral and suddenly you’ll end up experiencing more Megaten than you’d ever expect to see in an RPG targeted to young children.

Last up is an all-time classic that actually predates Shin Megami Tensei entirely, making it temporally impossible for any influence to show up, which muddles the entire concept of this essay but please roll with it you guys this is just how I feel. I’m talking about the seminal Phantasy Star, for the Master System, which I played through M2’s loving, impeccable SEGA AGES port on Switch. This game, which was released in 1987, is simply incredible. Right off the bat you’ve got genius-level programming from Yu Suzuki himself, which allowed for the first person dungeons to scroll so smoothly that posting a snippet of directly captured footage from the game can still lead to semi-viral tweets. It’s these extremely cool boldly colored first person dungeons, along with the expansive feeling of the several worlds you visit that led me to feel some of the spirit of Megami Tensei 2 specifically in this game.

“oops i accidentally phantasy starred for four hours” is how I put it playing through this game for the first time, and it’s a given that a non-fantasy setting RPG where you can talk to the monsters would be appealing to me. Phantasy Star as a series was in fact deliberately conceptualized as a rebellion against the many fantasy RPGs of the time, and the developers have talked about this in a way that is practically identical to early staff interviews about the goals for Megami Tensei. Director and gaming luminary Rieko Kodama has remarked that the choice of a female protagonist was also considered rebellious, even though it felt like a natural choice for her on a personal level.

Megami Tensei 2 is the game that builds the structure for Shin Megami Tensei as we know it today, moving away from Megami Tensei 1’s single full-game dungeon format to a world map with numerous discrete dungeons and eventually, paths to alternate worlds. Phantasy Star shares this exact design format, which still feels so expansive and impressive to this day. It’s a treat to get to experience a game like this over 30 years after its release on current hardware and still feel such an impact, and all of you need to go out and buy buy buy this game, seriously give M2 your money.

I’ve taken it as a given that everyone shares my perspective on where Shin Megami Tensei is at these days as a series, and it’s obviously never a good look to come across as an over-dramatic scolding bitter old who has retreated into pure irrelevance. But by documenting all of these observations down for myself, I can at least feel better about finding bits and pieces of various Megaten strains in the games of today. The lesson learned is that even if you feel your favorite franchise has lost its way, you may be able to find parts of it in the places you least expect.

[papyrjam]

hey!

i don’t usually make text posts on this blog, but i’ve had maybe about a handful (or so) of people asking me about MCAD/art schools in general. since the new semester has just started, here’s a lil advice from me to you: 

1. manage your time - this’ll get thrown at you a lot regardless of what school you go to (i hope) but it’s incredibly important to make sure that you understand your work flow and utilize it in the most efficient way possible! for example: i was able to work in any space (whether i was around friends or not) and some friends of mine had a harder time working around other friends, bc we would just kinda goof off - if you need to be alone to work, do it! if you can work around friends, do it! you kinda have to be your own mom and keep yourself in check. you can stay up late goofing off with your friends whenever you like - just make sure that drawing assignment you’ve been putting off is done first. (also - drawing classes always become more bearable if you have a friend you can bring into the studios with you to work! order a pizza!)  

2. take care of yourself - sometimes this means making time in your schedule to see a doctor/therapist/etc - and if you’re not currently with any insurance, it would be the time to look into things like state healthcare! i had to do this myself - minnesota residents can check out MNsure for more information.

taking care of yourself also means buying groceries - and not just ramen noodles and cereal (if you can help it!) learn to cook easy meals that use one dish (tasty has a ton of recipes you can look at). get coupon apps for target to help save on groceries and buy frozen veggies and fruits you can have longer than one week (which is about how long it takes for fresh fruit and veggies to get moldy in your fridge and drive your roommate’s blood pressure through the roof). 

taking care of yourself also ALSO means getting sleep. through my four years at MCAD i knew a lot of people who wore all-nighters like a badge of pride, but here’s the thing: if you’re pulling all-nighters every night you’re not managing your time. maybe it kinda seems cool conceptually to be like, this starving artist who stays up all night laboring over a charcoal drawing of a still life, but it’s miserable when you’re in a 3 hour critique and struggling to stay awake. get some Zs. you’ll always be glad you did (especially during finals). 

3. learn to give and listen to good critique - critique is the reason you are at art school. period. you may be there to pursue a dream, but really, you’re here to receive critique and grow from it. that’s how you get better at making art!! if a critique seems quiet about your work, throw out questions - “how is this reading?” “is the color palette successful? how does it make you feel?” “what does this look like - does it look like what i want it to look like?”. as much as it would be nice to get lighthearted compliments and applause, you need criticism to get better - and you need to get better at giving it, too. this’ll benefit everyone - you’ll be a better artist, your peers will be able to become better, and it doesn’t force your professor to fill the silence. 

4. speak up! this is something that could maybe be applied more generally to life (rather than just art school) but be vocal about what you think and how you feel. there have been times in class where students and professors presented material that was either traced, racist, or otherwise insensitive: speak up when this happens. if something raises a red flag, bring it up in discussion - if you have a friend that can be your support and back you up, use them. if you don’t have that, pull people aside privately, send emails to your professor, do whatever it is you have to. 

when you speak up, it could make the world of difference to someone else in your class who’s hurt and unable to speak up. for example - i had a critique where a girl kept saying her performance was very “g*psy” inspired - i made it a point to say that that wasn’t an appropriate term to use, and while the topic was hurriedly changed, i had classmates approaching me afterwords thanking me for saying something about it. 

the four years you spend in college are the preamble to the rest of your adulthood - use it as a springboard to become more vocal about the things that matter to you + yours. 

5. be kind. speaking from my experience at MCAD, there are a lot of good, hardworking people who you’ll see around campus a lot - be kind! say hi! i’m recently graduated, but when i’m on campus, i’m still friendly with staff from the school (especially the bistro - they’re really good guys!).

6. think about what it is you want to do after college. this is the scary thing, bc i know when i was a freshman, i was absolutely not thinking about what i’d be doing after graduation (and now here i am). but really think about it - think about what engages you, what excites you, and how can you apply your work to it. i went into college thinking i’d be an animation major, and now i have a degree in illustration that i want to apply to product design - but i also want to work on game design (and took classes to help get me started before i graduated!). if you have a more concrete idea of what it is you want to do, the easier it’ll be to target that sort of job or position once you graduate. set those goals!!

7. know your limits - there is absolutely zero shame in being unable to stay in school, whether it be for personal reasons or financial reasons. you have to take care of yourself first - art school will always be waiting for you when you’re ready again. if you’re stressed out, overwhelmed, or unhappy, you are allowed to change your mind. that could mean taking a semester off, transferring schools, or dropping out entirely. do what works for you. this is your time and your money being spent - you deserve to have a good experience. 

8. shop smart. there are a number of ways to save on textbooks and supplies. i spent a lot of time being flat-ass broke in college, and what made the burden easier to bear was being smart about where i put my money. textbooks can be found in libraries, on sites like amazon (where you can rent textbooks) and i once found the entire novel life of pi online. for supplies - check out the free shelf and see about splitting costs with your friends/roommates. 

9. class reviews - fill em out honestly. i know it’s really easy to blow off filling out reviews of classes at the end of the semester. i’ve done it before! but it’s really the best way to let your professors know how to better improve their classes. 

10. have fun. college will get to feel more exhausting and draining the more you fight against it. always find ways to get engaged with what you’re doing - even in liberal arts classes that you miiiiight not care about. when you make the material interesting for yourself, it’s gonna make it easier to digest, and easier to handle waking up for that one morning class you’re dreading. learn to make your work into play - because that’s why you got into art in the first place, isn’t it? because you enjoyed it? hang onto that feeling or art school might just eat you alive. 

good luck to everyone just starting their first year, and especially good luck to those graduating this year!! ✨✨✨

[rejinkulous]

Modeling the Future of Marketing

Looking through the futurist's lens.

If you were asked to describe various alternative futures for your business or marketplace, or even -- at the most grandiose -- the shape of the world in 2030, how would you start? What approach would you take to distinguish and contrast different possible futures? Would you draw a picture? Tell stories? Clip images on Instagram? Start with what you'd like the future state to be, and work back to the present, aspirationally?

Answering that question -- or trying to -- is the stock in trade of the futurist. Those who try to think systematically about the future generally are not involved in trying to 'tell the future' like some carnival fortune teller. In fact, the questionable practice of 'forecasting' that has led many to avoid the term 'futurist' altogether, and to be suspicious of those who do. (Personally, I consider myself an anthropologist of the future, which is a convoluted way of sidestepping the 'futurist' term, but holding on to the magic involved with 'the future'.)

Still, we do need to explore alternative futures, and to try to understand the qualitative differences between them, and across a set of potential futures one of the most accessible dimensions to apply is the likelihood of the various alternatives. This way of thinking lines up naturally with the way that our minds are inclined, so we don't need to create some futures calculus (or invent the crystal ball) to spin stories about the music business of 2030, why autonomous cars will change the world's transport systems, or the impact of a hypothetical Chinese pharmaceutical platform on the US health care system.

When my long-time friend Marshall Kirkpatrick asked me to get involved in his Future of Work in Marketing project, I was happy to do so. And when we spoke about what he wanted to do it came as no surprise that he proposed an approach that involves what futurists call the Futures Cone: a model to wrestle with varying levels of potential for different conjectured futures.

The Futures Cone

Joseph Voros' Futures Cone

Joseph Voros is perhaps the best-known modern popularizer of the Futures Cone model as a tool to explore and discuss alternative futures.

As he describes the background of the idea in The Futures Cone, use and history,

Futurists have often spoken and continue to speak of three main classes of futures: possible, probable, and preferable (e.g., Amara 1974, 1981; Bell 1997, and many others). These have at times lent themselves to define various forms of more specialised futures activity, with some futurists focusing on, as it were, exploring the possible; some on analysing the probable; and some on shaping the preferable, with many related variations on this nomenclature and phraseology  (e.g., again, Amara 1991, and many others).  It is possible to expand upon this three-part taxonomy to include at least 7 (or even 8) major types of alternative futures.

Voros, (after some vacillation about whether or not to include a 'predicted' future in the cone) settled on the model as captured in the graphic above.

In the Cone, time is represented as extending from some starting point at the left -- in this case starting at Now, but in many cases it is more helpful to start in the past to capture trends or events that have come before the present -- and continuing steadily to some point in the future. The overall futures cone is visualized and conceptualized as having stratified subcones. Across all potential futures the subcones range from the projected future (with the highest likelihood of happening), through probable, plausible, possible, and preposterous futures. An added wrinkle is defining a region of the cone as being preferable from the perspective of an individual, organization, demographic, or nation based on a set of value judgments, and perhaps independent of the degree of possibility involved: an aspirational future.

Against a Time Frame

The range of possibility -- projected, probable, plausible, possible, and preposterous -- can be arrayed against a time frame. The way the world is accelerating time seems compressed, so it's best to slice time pretty fine. For this project I selected these successive time periods: now (2018), soon (2020), later (2025), and the future (2030). I have a hard time considering anything outside that time frame (although I spun some scenarios for Wired through 2050 in What Will a Corporation Look Like in 2050).

As a matrix, this looks like this:

cone/time now (2018) soon (2020) later (2025) the 'future' (2030) projected probable preferable plausible possible preposterous

Marshall's List of Questions

The third axis of the Futures Cone is some set of questions or premises that have to be examined, using the thinking and models outlined above. I used a tool, Cardsmith, that allows users to create a matrix like the one above, and to place digital 'post-it' notes in the various cells, and making comments on them as well. This is a great technique for collaborating, and capturing the insights of a team of researchers.

I'll examine Marshall's questions and where I think the possibilities line up in the next sections.

Now (2018)

Marshall posed a topic, triggered by the Facebook/Cambridge Analytica mess:

A data privacy backlash sends everything back to the tried and true when it comes to targeting and marketing in general

I recouched that as a backlash against data 'publicy' -- the opposite of privacy -- and said that backlash is happening now. All the other topics wind up to be farther down the line, in my analysis.

cone/time now (2018) projected probable preferable plausible possible preposterous

Soon (2020)

Most of the issues raised by Marshall fall into this timeframe.

I interpreted one of Marshall's questions as 'Anticapitalist backlash', arising from Inequality, decreased social mobility, and economic polarization, which I deem as projected. Likewise, I believe 'conversational marketing' is coming soon, based on tools like Alexa and Google's Duplex demo.

A great number of the topics we discussed fall into the probable cone, I believe. I feel the 'decline of 'publishing', rise of 'subscription'' is starting already, but will become more mainstream in the next few years.

Marshall wondered if marketers would have to operate like science fiction writers, telling plausible stories about user experiences that may be totally novel, since things are changing so fast. I agree with him.

I believe it is probable than markers will put more value on acquiring new customers than retaining old ones, which is perhaps another result of the rapid change and innovation in many industries.

I think it is probable we will see AI used to augment people at the task level by 2020.

I use the term Amazonification to characterize the increased value of platforms to create demand and the decreased value of brands in such a climate. This is probable, I think.

cone/time soon (2020) projected probable preferable plausible possible preposterous

I think it is plausible that AI may be fulfilling entire marketing functions by 2020 (definitely probable by 2025, projected by 2030). Note that the shift of what is plausible soon to what is probable later is a general case for all of these trends, and I won't explicitly state that shift for other trends. It is implicit. It's plausible that 'retention and growth is more valuable than acquisition' in this timeframe, but I think that varies by the sort of products being marketed.

It's possible, I think, that some marketers will find success focusing on brand over generation of new demand. Some luxury brands may be able to command high margins, for example, while selling new products to existing customers, even in a world of Amazon-like platforms.

Later (2025)

I offered up the theme of a 'post-screen world of marketing', based on the idea that augmented and virtual reality might replace conventional screen-based user experience of PCs and smartphones. I think that is plausible in this time frame.

Similarly, I think it's possible that, by 2025, some marketing roles could be filled entirely by AI, for example running a social media marketing campaign. It's also conceivable that blockchain might have a major impact by this time, although there's a lot of moving pieces for that to come together.

cone/time Later (2025) projected probable preferable plausible possible preposterous

The 'Future' (2030)

I guess that Marshall's themes aren't so far out that many of them are delayed to the 'future' of 2030. But one did: marketing to His, which I think is highly likely by 2030 (and possible in an earlier time frame). If we have His running hedge funds and deciding who to hire in 2018, they will be buying things for corporations by 2030.

cone/time The 'Future' (2030) projected probable preferable plausible possible preposterous

Conclusions and Takeaways

I wanted to take you through one of the most commonly used tools that futurists use to help their clients think systematically about the 'future', and I think this has accomplished that. Perhaps you'll be able to adopt the Futures Cone as a technique to use in your own organization, to think about your markets, competitors, and the trends that shape our world.

Remember:

There is no one 'future'. There are a many possible outcomes for any trend or event, and trying to assign probabilities is a great technique for groups to discuss alternatives.

The Futures Cone approach only requires a whiteboard and some post-it notes, and a room full of people. Try it.

There are a long list of other techniques that futurists use, but across the board they rely onlmost without exception on making up plausible stories about people in the future: people in aggregate, in organizations, or individuals. If you can tell a story about, for example, what a customer in your market might be doing in 2020 when they decide to buy something, you are practicing futurism!

Marshall and I will be returning to the themes in this post later this month in a webinar [details need]. Hope you can attend.

[impurelight]

Notes On Notes

I’m graduating from University soon so I’ll likely not be using my note taking skills as rigorously as before. So to document my note taking and studying habits for future generations I thought I’d write this.

First of all let me set the record straight by saying I’m not a good student. Never was and never will be. I’m definitely not that guy that has to be like ‘I did so bad in that course, I only got an 81’.

Actually I am like that sometimes. But only for easy courses. Like those first year ‘bird’ courses. And that computer security course that had like a million bonus marks and the average was like 80.

For most courses I do about average. If you minimized the squared error between a percentile of grades and my grades I’d expect to get about the mean. So I don’t like working hard. In fact most of these techniques I developed just because I’m lazy.

The first technique that I developed I call the Quora Note Taking Method. So named because it was inspired by Quora answers. Basically the top answer on Quora always looked like this:

Point 1 some comments on point 1

Point 2 some comments on point 2

…

Point n some comments about point n

Hmm… that’s odd. If it was only one or two quora answers that did that I wouldn’t really care. But all of them? Maybe there’s something to this.

And at the time I had this problem. When I wrote notes I’d sometimes forget what the notes meant. I write the most bare of barest essentials in my notes so this isn’t unreasonable.

For example here’s a note in my first year course:

Global/Static variables: Any variable not in a function is global

This needs a lot of context to understand. This was not my first programming course, I already knew what global variables were. This note was specifically about Python.

Here’s another one:

Integrals Notation find area [a,b] cross [c,d] integral is a,b Y integral is c,d

OK, this is not impossible to understand but it takes a while and you need context. And at the time I knew this was a problem.

Over the years I tried many things like taking notes on physical paper. I heard it may help. But I just couldn’t commit.

Gretchen Rubin writes about the four central tendencies. There’s a quiz to tell which one you are. Fantastic quiz, highly recommend it. I’m a rebel. And at first I thought, “I thought everyone was like this”. And then after taking the test, “Guess not, just me and a small portion of the population.”

So anyways one of the things I tried was a modified version of the Cornell note taking system. Apparently it helps. Basically you have three sections for notes. I’m not exactly sure how it works, the descriptions seem a bit ambiguous.

I was working in OneNote at the time, now I use plain text + markdown (a far superior method relative to closed source solutions if I do say so myself), and one of the things OneNote allows you to do is write anywhere on the page.

So the way I implemented the Cornell system is I’d have a left column just for notes and then I summarized everything in a column on the right. It was a really nice system. Only a few problems.

I was too lazy to do it. I found myself writing the summaries in the 10 minute blocks before class starts or, worse, not writing them at all.

I call this problem the independent task problem. This came from looking at the brain. One of my profs commented on how it was weird the brain had two hemispheres.

I thought about this and came up with a perfectly logical explanation. When you have two independent tasks that are meant to help each other, say taking notes and studying, it may be possible for these tasks to get out of sync.

That is you only do one, like notes, while neglecting the other, summaries. The brain is split, I theorized, to overcome the independent task problem. And likewise anything I do that involves two mutually beneficial independent tasks must solve this problem as well. Note taking is just one example.

And my notes were really long too. If I only write like a few words every line I needed a lot of lines to fully summarize the material. If you look at my current notes I’d sometimes only have 3 or 4 notes for an incredibly info dense lecture.

Thirdly, and most alarmingly, the Cornell method didn’t really help with the problem. Now I had to read a confusing note and a wall of text? No thank you.

And also at this time I wondered why it was I even wrote notes. Well, obviously, it’s for tests. Because I never read any of my notes until right before a test. So they must be short, to the point, and easy to read.

Enter the Quora note taking method. The method works much like how Quora comments are structured

Point 1 some notes on Point 1

Here’s an example:

We add an 'enable' input to the CPU this is anded with the clock (clock = enable and clock) in the register so now we need both the enable and clock for the CPU to actually do anything.`

See, much more clear. You can read it at a glance and it carries a lot of information. Plus now I don’t have to worry about writing those silly summaries because the note is the summary! It’s brilliant.

This is how I take notes now. Actually a few more little changes. First Quora Note Taking Method v1.1.

There are times when you really, really need to remember something precisely. Like when a TA or prof gives example questions similar to what will be on the test. You want to remember the question, answer, and the explanation on why the answer is correct.

Anything less will lead to… bad stuff. So I made a minor adjustment to the Quora Method to take this into account. Now it supports maximum redundancy. By that I mean I decided in some of the notes the bolded part and unbolded part say the exact same thing. But, and this is important they are worded differently both conceptually and linguistically. Here’s an example

2: For AS diagram from A to B draw diagram like normal but path goes out of AS somewhere in the middle so the path is entirely in the AS except for one node that goes into another AS network.

An interesting side effect of this is you will need to come up with something interesting for the non-bolded part and this may mean thinking about the problem differently. For instance:

Forwarding table is table of which port goes where so the set of everything you can get to using each port. Routing is the process of creating this table. This is used for datagram method. Also virtual circuit which sets up connection first and uses this primarily.

As you can see the bolded section could be word for word what the prof said. But the unbolded text both reiterates and expands on the original note. In fact multiple notes can be combined into a single note this way for maximum encapsulation.

I guess you could say this is Quora 1.2. But now I use Quora 2.0. I guess 2.0 is a bit misleading. Usually when the version number goes up the thing gets better.

I thought it was a regression but looking at my more recent notes it’s more of an amalgamation. Quora 2.0 combines all forms of note taking. Sometimes you just need to draw a diagram. It supports that. And sometimes you need a detailed Quora note. It does that too.

But the most significant change is support for brief notes. When a prof is lecturing about a very factual concept with few interconnected topics it just doesn’t make sense to make a full Quora note. So I just make partial notes. Usually just:

Term definition

Sometimes is a bit ambiguous where the bolded part ends and the non-bolded part begins. I’m still working on that. But as I’m graduating soon it looks like I’ll be unable to make Quora 2.1.

So that’s my note taking method in a nutshell. It’s been a wild ride from the craziness of barely intelligible scribbles to a highly refined system.

So now I’d like to end with a note. I don’t usually like to do this, but I just thought of this and it feels incredibly apt given the subject of this post:

The human condition it takes all the running you can do to keep in the same place.