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needs-to-stop-looking-at-valves · 4 years ago

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what about some kup x springer? that old geezer needs to be plowed hard and good!! :3c

Ayyye I got you king, you fuckin' got it.

Kup has been around the block. He's seen monsters big and small, been in the coldest climates and under the most scaliding suns. But not ONCE has he seen such bullshit. He was in charge of making sure the new wrecker wannabes did their daily trainings, and of course, once mech had to ruin it for the rest of them.

And that mech was Springer. Kup had to head out to check on something (on request of Ultra Magnus), and instead of doing rounds, he caught his team looking at dirty magazines. Now don't get Kup wrong, he knew what was on a young mechs processor, and it was plenty healthy. When they were on their own time.

"But when it's distracting the rest of the team, that's when it is a problem. This is what you save for the barracks, kid."

Someone had snitched, revealing that they belonged to Springer. The hot shot triple changer who was easy on the optics, hard on the processor. It was why he was in his office, uninterested as Kup scolded him. Springer shrugged.

"What? You were gone, we were bored. And these are new! It's just mechs having fun."

"Training first, playtime later."

"Wow, prude much?"

"I don't give a scrap if you all have an orgy back there, I really don't. I need you-"

Springer threw his hands up, as if in disbelief.

"As if you give us enough time to HAVE an orgy back there. I think you're just so bitter that YOU don't get laid, you're spikeblocking the rest of us!"

Kup had to take a second to absorb all this bullshit. He pulled a cygar from his desk, lit it, then took a long inhale. There was no common sense in this kid, no reasoning with him. He exhaled slowly, letting the smoke fill the immediate area.

"Alright. Alright. You wanna play this game, do ya kid? We'll play that game. You get to be transferred to Ultra Magnus-"

"His unit SUCKS! Kup come on, you're blowing this out of proportion!"

Kup scoffed. He knew kid was gonna play hard ball. He picked up the magazine, using it to lightly smack Springer on his forehead.

"Alright. Then ya aft gonna face some punishment."

He made him get up, and handed him the magazine in question. Springer looked confused as Kup laid his body on the desk.

"What...am I supposed to do?"

"Manual labor. And you are NOT gonna stop until I say so."

Springer had more questions, obviously, until Kup spread his legs, and popped open his valve panel. Kup thought this was a bad idea, as it might ruin his reputation, but when he felt Springer ran his hand up his back, Kup knew he'd definitely have worst ideas.

"I knew you were in need of a spike, but damn going so far as to take advantage of a lil' recruit? For shame, sir."

Kup felt him lean over and place that magazine in front of them, showing a rather lewd imagine of a fem, huge chasis, playing with her valve folds. Right, bisexual. More chances for this young mech to act like a turbo fox in heat. With his hands free, he held onto Kup's hips, grinding his panel against his aft. Kup laid there, letting him get a good feel for his frame, while he took another inhale of his cygar.

"Because I leave this kinda punishment for morons like you. Trust me, it's not easy as-"

He was silenced when he felt that spike rub against him. Springer was stupid, sure, but he was right about one thing; Kup REALLY needed a nice spike. And from the size that he felt pressed against him, he was about to get just that.

"Sir, with all due respect, shut up."

Maybe it was because Kup had been looking through the magazines earlier. Maybe it was because he was excited by the idea of a young, fit stud fucking him. Either way, his valve was wet enough for Springer to push himself in effortlessly. Springer seemed to like the somewhat tight fit, given the chuckle that escaped his throat. Springer moved himself back and forth, not to be nice, but because he wanted to get a nice feel for his new valve.

"Good fit, eh?"

Springer leaned over Kup, swiping the cygar from his lips, smirking as he held it in his teeth.

"Not bad, definitely not bad. Gonna feel better once I get you whimpering though, old man."

Springer leaned himself back up, slowly pushing himself back and forth, as if the motion was foreign to him. Just when Kup was about to complain, Springer finally picked things up a bit, grabbing his hips firmly to push and pull Kup onto his spike. Kup groaned in relief. This was more fucking like it.

"Was starting to think you were scared of hurtin' me there, kid."

"Pfft. Hurting YOU? You're like an old bridge. You can take a lot more pressure."

Kup was about to bark at him for calling him old, when he slammed himself fully inside, making Kup stiffen on the spot. Springer laughed, removing the cygar from his mouth in order to blow smoke in Kup's direction. Kup turned to look at that stupid, smug smile of his. Kid was so cocksure, it was precious.

"That right? Well, go ahead, see how much pressure I CAN take."

"As you command, sir."

He gave him a mock salute, and after putting the smoke back into his teeth, he dug his servos into his hips again, and started to move, properly. As in, he started to plow right into his valve, metal clanking against metal, fluids cascading from their legs and onto the floor. Kup was loving it, reaching one hand down to rub at his little node. Oh it had been ages since he had a young, strong stud to fuck his valve.

"Don't hear ya talkin' slag back there, kid."

What he WAS hearing was Springer panting behind him, exhaling smoke as if he were a freight train. Poor guy wasn't used to handling having a seasoned pussy to pound, and he was making it pretty fucking obvious.

"S-shut up. Primus shut up."

"Aw, am I too much for ya to handle? You like fragging this 'old bridge'? You wanna overload in me? Well,"

He stood up, pressing his back to the other's chest, and stole his cygar from his mouth.

"You overload, right inside of me."

Then he pressed his lips against his. Kup bought good smokes, but something about the way they came from a young mechs lips- made them taste even better. Springer grabbed onto Kup's massive thighs, and overloaded. Kup let himself be filled with overload, before he pushed Springer's lips away, even being sweet enough to wipe the drool free from his lip. Springer chuckled, patting his thighs.

"Slag old man...you ain't have bad. This was fun."

"Was? Kid, you're kiddin'. We're just starting."

Kup reached behind him, grabbed Springer's legs, and pulled. It sent Springer to the floor, right on his back. Then Kup helped himself to round two, sitting down right on that spike, and starting to bounce on him. Springer was writhing on the floor, trying to grab anything in hopes to have something to grip on.

"FUCK OLD MAN!-"

Springer wasn't handling his spike being abused like this. And primus was it cute. Kup groaned loudly in content, and a puff of smoke somehow only made it better. He didn't even bother looking behind him. Not yet.

"Aw, what's wrong? Thought I was just an old mech who needed some spike? Thought YOU were the young mech to give it to me, eh?"

"Y-you're going f-fast-"

Oh Springer's hips kept bucking against him, more out of reflex than his actual want for more stimulation. Was it a bit much for the mech? Sure, but Kup didn't care. Not when it felt SO good in his soaked, soiled valve.

"That's it. Twitch in me. Gimme another load, same you'd do for your little magazine gal."

Springer finally acted like a proper solider, and obeyed. His hips bucked up, and he overloaded yet again. Kup swore his optics rolled to the back of his head as he finally got his own overload. Oh his valve ached. And he wanted more. He spun around on his spike, hand pressed on Springer's hot chest. Poor Springer.

Drooling, steaming, absolutely soaked in condensation. His optics looked hazy, his mouth agape as he panted.

"S-shit Kup. I'm...I can't do anymore. Primus say we're done. Please."

"Not a chance. This is your punishment kid. You ain't leavin' till you've learned your lesson. And you know me,"

He pulled himself off his spike, only to SLAM himself back down, making Springer toss his helm back as he cried out. Kup tried not to chuckle, but he just couldn’t help himself.

"I'm a through teacher~"

#asks #lemon #kup #springer #i know you wanted his pussy pounded #but like #i felt like a nice lil dom spin was a good mix up #hope you like it!

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mrpenguinpants · 4 years ago

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Venti and Diluc: Friendship HCs

Hi elliechan! I’ve already written friendship hcs for Venti but I never want to leave anyone hanging (unless the dupe request is incredible specific and I can’t add onto it anymore) so think of it as a part 2. But if you haven’t seen Part 1 yet, I added a link.

Also, I would like to credit fulltimeventisimp for helping me out with this fic. My monkey brain couldn’t think of anything for Venti but they gave me literally a fics worth of content. PLEASE IF YOU HAVEN’T ALREADY, MAKE IT AN ACTUAL FIC! I LOVED IT! I tried my best to not piggy back too hard off it but if it does seem that way, let me know and I’ll definitely change it.

But thank you 💕💕💕

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Part 1: Venti Frienship HCs

Xiao: Frienship HCs

[Masterlist]

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @sunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz @dai-tsukki-desu @thicmitten

Venti and Diluc: Friendship HCs

Venti

The first time you met the bard, it was when you were visiting Mondstadt as a small pit stop. He was sat on top of some wooden boxes, next to an apple vendor, singing a short ballad. You’ve never encountered bards throughout your journey and he did have a lovely singing voice so you decided to stay a bit and listen in. It felt like the wind itself was carrying his voice throughout the streets but you couldn’t help but feel a bit...melancholy from his tune. Was it homesickness? You clapped with the crowd when the bard finished and on a whim, you decided to buy him a small bag of apples. He seemed to like them as he only asked the apple vendor to gift him two for his efforts. When you paid your purchase the bard seemed to be in a deep conversation with the same vendor that you didn’t want to disturb them, after all you weren’t going to be in Mondstadt for long. So you placed the small bag of apples beside the bard’s lyre with a quick thank you note, a couple extra coins, and continued on your journey.

You didn’t expect that small act of kindness would lead to anything but when you were preparing for bed, the same bard popped his head outside your window and almost gave you a heart attack. This bard was lucky he didn’t catch you while you were changing your clothes or else things might have turned ugly. He wanted to thank you for your generous donation which you simply waved off explaining that throughout your journey, you never met anyone that could sing quite like him. A small token of appreciation. Perhaps it was because you fed his ego too much or other reasons but that seemed to peak the bards interest and ask about what other fascinating places you’ve been too. You talked about the horrible mountain you needed to climb through to reach Mondstadt, the shining electro lamps of Inazuma that would spark if you got too close, to the clear pools and lotus heads in Liyue.

“You’ve been around all over the place! Perhaps you would allow me to write a ballad of your conquests?”

“Hm? Is that so? Why don’t you come with me? Go outside the walls of Mondstadt and explore. So you can write your own ballad instead of others.”

“Is this another acting whim of yours?”

“Haha, perhaps.”

Unsurprisingly, you don’t see the bard the next day. It was probably a lot to suddenly ask a stranger to drop everything and come with you to unknown places. But you decided to stay in Mondstadt for a short while and see what the City of Freedom had to offer. From meeting the supposed gliding champion and learning a few pointers, to the mysterious Calvary Captain who you were sure was probably the shadiest person you’ve ever met, to the aloof red headed tavern owner. You weren’t much of a drinker but everyone in Mondstadt, especially the knights, seemed to really enjoy their wine and were incredibly friendly to strangers. On the night you were planning to leave Mondstadt, the rowdy knights you’ve became friends with decided to celebrate and urge you to drink to your hearts content (please drink responsibly haha). You must have been a bit tipsy when you met the bard for a second time, introducing himself properly as Venti. You could blame it on the alcohol when you suddenly challenged him to a drinking contest but it was the most fun you had in a while. You were pretty sure everyone got kicked out but as you leaned against Venti absolutely hammered, laughing about the silliest things, it was the most freeing feeling you’ve ever felt.

From then on, even after you had left the City of Freedom, you could would randomly see Venti pop up sometimes. Should it be at Starsnatch Cliff or all the way in Wolvendom, you would see a few fluffy feathers appear as the bar- Venti announced his arrival. You were pretty sure Venti was bored whenever he visited you to see what you were up to but you didn’t mind. His liveliness nature was addicting and you were an easy going person. Though, some of the jokes he made, made you a bit suspicious of him. Whenever he would say that Andrius was secretly a grumpy mother hen or that Dvalin was actually a shy sweetheart.

“You sure do know a lot about Mondstadt. You sure you’re just a bard Venti?”

“Hmm, well it shouldn’t hurt to tell you. I am Barbatos. The Anemo Archon of Mondstadt. Pleasure to make your acquaintance..-again.”

“I see...and yet you still get ID checked?”

“Rude!”

Outside of Mondstadt, Venti is a whirlwind of emotions. Always wanting to see what’s changed or linking your hands and dragging you off to some far off chest he found. How did his small body have so much strength to nearly pop your arm out? He did come in handy during your Liyue expeditions since he can give you a small boost to just reach the top of that cliff. You thought violet grass was bad, it should be illegal for Qingxin flowers to grow on the very top of mountains. Venti thinks it’s really sweet that you put so much faith in his winds to let yourself fly when he uses his elemental skill. Though, it’s a bit of a double edged sword. When you finally reach the very top and you’re waiting for Venti to join you, he might pretend to loose control and throw himself off the cliff. You sometimes forget he’s literally the anemo archon and you’re ready to go gliding after him before he pops up in front of you to give you another scare. While he’s laughing, you’re already planning how to sneak slime condensate into his hat.

“You should have seen your face! I didn’t know you could scream like that! Liyue must think a banshee is haunting their mountains again!”

“Watch yourself gremlin, you might wake up without hands tomorrow.”

“Haha, you wouldn’t do that...right? How would you even do that? Why aren’t you saying anything?!”

“Isn’t there a saying in Liyue Venti? You can’t run from your debts? Prepare yourself.”

For as child-like Venti appears, you both end up getting into a bit of trouble when Venti get’s a bit too bold. While it’s incredibly refreshing to see someone speak their mind regardless of the consequences, you actually kind of admire him for that, usually the boldness comes from trying to bribe the bartender for free drinks. Your poor wallet is crying out every time Venti spots a new tavern. While he say’s he will pay you back or he’ll pay you back in a song, you can’t actually eat his words. But on other occasions you can’t help but join in when it happens to be one of the Fatui guards giving you both a hard time. You feel like you’re acting out a Shakespearian play with all the flowery nonsense and metaphors you’re both spitting out.

When you’re both in the thick of a forest or even on top of Liyue’s mountain, Venti will bring his lyre out and strum his strings softly as you both fall into a comfortable silence. Looking at the sunset or relaxing under the trees as the sun peaks through as you both live in the moment. It’s these times that you’re harshly reminded that Venti is an archon as he slips out of his persona and speaks as Barbatos. He tells you how fun your adventures have been, that he was glad to have made friends with you, speaking as if you’re about to die tomorrow. You’re not sure how to handle it, what kind of burden Venti is carrying, but you immediately drop everything and comfort him. Giving him a strong but warm hug that you’re still here and he’s not alone right now.

“Come on, I’m still waiting for the Ballad of Venti. You haven’t given up on that right?”

“Hmph, of course not. Every being deserves a name to be called upon, and woven into a song.”

Diluc

It was a peaceful day, one Diluc hadn’t felt in a long time in his hectic life. Though it was a bit too early to determine how the day would go since it was still noon. The tavern would soon get loud as it approached night but for now. Everything was peaceful. The sounds of Monstadt streets bustling. The peaceful atmosphere as the sun shone through the windows. Working on mundane tasks of wiping the counter down. No Kaeya in sight. A small moment of peace. All broken when his door was kicked nearly off its hinges as you announced your return from your shopping trip as if you had returned after a 3 year long journey. Diluc sighs under his breath, takes a moment to pray he doesn’t need to repair his door again, and helps you with your bags as you ramble about your day.

To others, it’s always seems a bit weird when they catch Diluc and you chatting since Diluc always gives off the lone wolf persona and yet you’re this ball of sunshine. Maybe it’s because you knew Diluc when he was a child, back when he was still bright-eyed, that you never treated him any differently when he came back. Diluc never really talks about it but he’s happy that you’re still the same and he can let himself relax with you. He still keeps his silent demeanor as he listens to you talk about anything and everything, it helps keeps his mind occupied, but he might add a few comments here and there. Just to let you know he’s still listening.

You know what sounds really hot? Sitting in the same room with someone while you both do your own respective thing. You both don’t feel forced to talk to each other just because you’re in the same room or you have to do everything together just because you’re together. It’s an easy atmosphere that settles as Diluc works on business papers and you’re planning your next expeditions. Until you end collapsing on his couch because your brain processing has suffered enough and it’s time to take a nap. You always end up dragging him out of his work to go outside and take a nice doze in the sun.

If you ever have a problem, he won’t necessarily coddle you unless it really bothers you or you’re in a situation where it could hurt you, but he’ll do everything to help you work through it. You’re his friend and if someone is giving you a hard time then he has no problem chasing them away, especially if its a Fatui member. If it happens to be Kaeya, well that’s an entirely different story. Likewise, if it appears to you that Diluc is going through a rough time you’ll try and comfort him. Do small little things to let him know that you care and while he doesn’t need to tell you what’s wrong, you’re here to support him.

Diluc enjoys playing chess against you, even if he wins most of the time, you’re always so determined that he can’t help but laugh along with your over reactions. Presenting him an entire 20 page paper on chess and yet getting checkmated in 10 turns. You’re 95% sure all the chess strategies he offered were all fake, if his smug grin is anything to go by. You both have agreed to never play darts together, well more specifically, you’re pretty sure you’re banned from playing darts when you almost hit Adelinde. That was the first time you ever genuinely feared for your life.

Whenever Diluc has to attend a gala or has to host a party to further his business, he’s always appreciative when you show up. You’re not exactly apart of royalty or even a business owner but it’s so refreshing to Diluc, after spending so much time keeping a polite attitude and trying to talk business, when he can come to you as you laugh about how one lady almost tripped because her dress was too long. Sometimes he’ll lean a bit on you or pretend to be in a conversation just so he can recharge.

More often then not, you’re mistaken to be Diluc partner even though the idea of holding Diluc’s hand makes you want to throw up. But when Diluc get’s random father’s trying to offer their daughter’s hands in marriage, he’ll pull the excuse he’s already with someone if they can’t no for an answer. It’s always funny to you, linking arms with Diluc and re-telling the grandiose story about how Diluc saved you from falling off a cliff when you were both younger and you were both star-crossed lovers that were destined to be together. Or something like that, you’re pretty sure you’ve changed the story enough times that you can’t keep track. But it seems to work and as soon as they are out of ear’s reach you make a quick gagging motion. He shoves you a bit to which you elbow him in the side. Old habits die hard.

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I swear, I could probably recite character stories word for word at this point. Gripping my writing hand don’t make it angsty, don’t make it angsty, don’t fucking do it. But I still did, whoops.

I feel like my fics are really long so I’ll add a read more tag. Mmm writing styles are hard. I don’t know if I like this;; I ended up writing so much to try and combine my “hcs are just another word for fics just without the dialogue” and “actual headcanons” styles. Ahh, well whatever. I have to go speedrun my assignments since genshin is going to eat all my time this week.

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vinnieworld · 4 years ago

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5 tips to boost 5 days of Productivity

We all love to procrastinate and most of us (including myself) have made sport out of this, but is this how we really should be approaching things?

The answer is NO.... apparently

So join me in my self evaluation of bringing you 5 tips how I avoided procrastination by being a bit lazy.

Being productive for a whole week when you have too much on your plate but you spend your entire weekend scrolling through social media... well me too :)

Though Mondays suck, its a brand NEW week so we can't let Mondays win and ruin out entire week right?

Tip 1 - Preparation before the week start

- Make a to do list - For the next day or the week

A short list of your most prioritised tasks e.g. starting that essay you been avoiding, even if it just picking the ttile

Make sure to not put too much pressure on these tasks

Keep it simple

DO NOT put too many things, be realistic only add things you know you can achieve

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

We all have those sleepless nights, especially when you have a 9am lecture/class the next day. Somehow you end up going to sleep at 4am still make it to your lecture on time, though the rush might be exciting this is not the way to start the week because your mind will get used to this so much and this becomes your normal routine.

Not going to lie, I am super guilty of this but I found out this not only drains my energy, it strips me away from my motivation and make me lazy all the time.

So one bazzare night I thought to myself what would I potentially want to do this coming week, so I got my phone started typing my "potential" to do list for the week, okay the list was quite long and seemed quite overwhelming, and I knew I wouldn't do all of this so though I made the list I didn't put too much pressure on this. When I checked back in the middle of the week I did most of the things on the do to list unconsiously. This was so surprising I never get things done.... what changed ?

Most of the time we put too much pressure ourself, that's why we procrastinate and they avoid the things we need to do. The minute the pressure is gone you get the urge to do your things even if you are unaware of it.

Tip 2 - Follow today's work TODAY

- Follow the lecture and make notes while you're attending the lecture

Take brief notes on what's on the slides

If the lecturer give extra info add those especially

DO NOT panic if you don't write everything on the slide, remember these are brief notes to for later revision

Speed is not important, what's important is that you have something written on the paper

when the lecture/class is finished fill in the gaps you left during it, do this right after while you still have the energy.

one page = one lecture (unless the lecture is 90 slides then its bit tricky)

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

I personally find it very hard to keep on top of things, especially with how different lecturers have different methods and speed with delivering their content. I tried many methods, recording the lectures, printing the slides, handwriting everything but it only made me bored of the things I was learning.

I can't stare at pages and pages of writing when I'm trying to revise, so best way for me to do this is if I have one page or two for the entire lecture. This helped me a lot of condense my notes, motivated me to keep writing and I felt accomplished by the end of every lecture.

Tip 3 - Keep one book for all your modules

- Invest in a chunky subject divider notebook

This is where you write the notes form the previous tip

One book to take to all your lectures, don't have to carry five or more

Write all the assignment and exams for that subject in the dividers (Kinda like a self-reminder)

Keep a general section where you write extra information that relates to the subjects (e.g. extra seminars, extra activity sessions, groups project notes, your own research for subjects, assignment preparation etc. )

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

Most of my detailed notes are digitalised, this is way easier then writing hours and hours of detailed notes by hand. But all the modules, lectures, practicals are separated so it's too much of hassle to find what I want when I want to have a quick glance at something.

Dividing the book by subject and seeing different content I am going to need regularly being on one place really is therapeutic for me, give me less stress so I don't have to spend time looking through pages of notes to find just one sentence.

Having one book for all my modules, helped me so much to keep on motivated to write notes and keep on top of it and when I revisit it, it's so pleasing to the eye.

Tip 4 - Write flashcards on the day

- Put little bit of extra into a flashcard

Once you finished a lecture, read back and pick the most key bits and write a maximum three sentences

Keep it very very brief

Think of pictograms for some words. e.g. little blog with stokes for a virus or a spark for electricity

Some info you can't fit on your page put it on the flashcard, like a diagram or a table

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

I am a sucker for flashcards, seeing them makes me so happy to revise. But making them when an exam is near is frustrating so if you make them before by the time you get your exam season you already have flashcards to revise from. How convenient!

Tip 5 - Write a sentence or research a bit everyday for your assignments

- Every time you feel like you done nothing today take a look assignment and write sentence - Take this step by step everyday and add information along the way

Pick a title first for whatever your assignment is

Do basic research on the title you chose

Do a basic plan

Improve on the basic research

Add information to the plan

and ect....

Little ramble on how this helped me :)

Doing assignments is tricky, very boring, they can be very long and stressful so we avoid even starting it until the day before it's due. Okay, we all work well under pressure but we don't really produce our best work under a day so investing little time everyday or every other helped me to produce more quality work than normal and it was less pressuring and stressful when I started the binge writing on two three days before the deadline, because all the research, preparation is done all I had to do was write and improve my work along the way.

I actually cannot recommend this enough because it saved me from a lot of breakdowns over my assignments. Just by adding something to it every now and then I basically finished my first draft by the time I actually want to start to write properly.

Bonus tip - Take the weekend off! - > If you're like me and get bored very easily with doing the work then follow these tips for the days you have school or uni, finish everything by Friday and take the whole weekend of .... TRUST ME you will be much more prepared for Monday.

Thank you so much ya'll for reading this, I do ramble a lot but it's a part of me that I embrace so I hope this was helpful for you and make sure to tell me your thoughts and feelings.

Till next time Lovelies x

#students #university #productivity #self improvement #study motivation #procrastination #study notes #tips and tricks #study tips

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lov3nerdstuff · 4 years ago

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Hi Kay!

I just wanted to take a moment and say how deeply moving (and overall comforting) I find your writing to be! I've gone through almost the entirety of your masterlist twice in the past month alone and have found myself returning more often to the pieces of literature/poems your reference sometimes. (Especially that one poem by Benedict Smith! I've read a few more by him because of you and they're just wonderfully lovely 💛 so I'm eternally thankful to you for including it.)

I may be wrong in assuming, but I believe you may have studied/are currently studying a degree involving literature. I hope this isn't too foreward of me but I was wandering if you have any other works of literature that you'd recommend? (I'd love to read anything you recommend from poems to plays 💛) I'm slightly embaressed to say but the works I've read are quite limited to a highschool level and since I'm currently studying Pharmacy, there are very few people who can recommend me such moving works. :)

I also feel like I should apologise for writing such a large ask, so please accept this apology as well hehe 💕🥺

Sincerely,

Bek 🌻

Hey there Bek 💚💕✨

First of all... I'm incredibly sorry for how long it took me to reply to this ask, I know you sent it weeks ago and I'm honestly just ashamed of myself for only replying now! I've been taking a bit of a Tumblr break again, or rather a break from literally everything, and I guess not having written anything in a while made me feel guilty whenever I opened Tumblr, so... All I can say for myself really is that I'm sorry you had to wait so long! Again, I never ever ignore anyone, I promise! It just sometimes takes a while for me to reply 😅🙈

Now, I'm so happy to hear that you've been enjoying my writing! 🥺🥰 Hearing that it's comforting and inspiring to you is honestly such a relief and indeed does make me happy more than I can say 💚 It's so cool that you're checking up on all the references I make aaahhh 🥺🥺🥺 I love it 😁 You're always more than welcome, love! I don't think I could stop including references to literature, culture, history and the science around it even if I tried 😅☺️

And yeah, I did study classics and newer literature as a minor for my undergrad degree �� But tbh I still work with literally a lot even now (I'm in grad school for media and cultural studies) even though it's technically not something I've been properly taught ☺️ I'm just a nerd who likes to learn on her own, and with media and culture you can pretty much delve into almost anything you want 😂😅🤷🏻‍♀️

Now, it's not forward at all to ask me for literature recommendations! 😁😃 I truly love recommending stuff!!! I have a few up my sleeve, even though you've probably heard of a few already, for obvious reasons: A lot of what I truly enjoyed reading was something Tom Hiddleston has worked on in one way or another! It's truly a magnificent guideline for picking new literature... Just look up the literary origins of his films/shows/plays and you will be in for quality literature most of the time! I don't think I've ever mentioned it on here, but me reading High-Rise (JG Ballard) because I heard Tom would be partaking in the film adaptation was actually what sparked my love and passion for literature!!! Yep, it's that good. Now on to the recommendations though 😁(This... got rather long):

Plays

Anything by Harold Pinter really, but for obvious reasons you'll find a lot of additionally fun stuff for Betrayal, which is lovely and truly funny if you're in on the kind of humour btw

Medea by Euripides (a classic, but I love it nonetheless... You can find translations in almost every language) ((and pls stay away from Seneca's Medea, because ugh... Euripides is far better AND the og story, as much as anyone can say that for Greek mythology)

La Bohème by Puccini (I know, this is technically an opera, but if you read the libretto it's honestly just like a play... And if you're up for it, the og story is in prose and written by Henri Murger... It's better than the opera, but oftentimes more difficult to find) ((this one is hilarious and basically explains an entire cultural subgroup in the 19th century)

Faust by Goethe (many people hate it, but I LOVE this one!!! It's also been translated into any and every language, and it's so interesting philosophically!!! It's also referenced SO freaking often literally everywhere, and the operas and ballets based on it are always my fave) ((there's technically Faust I and Faust II, but you're good to go just reading the first one)

Anything by Shakespeare, obviously... Though I do love me my Hamlet like every other literature enthusiast (Yes, I can do that one famous soliloquy in act 3 scene 1 by heart as well...)

Poetry

Again, anything Shakespeare for the win, but I LOVE the sonnets and keep a copy of them with me most of the time (Yes, I own multiple copies of the sonnets...) ((My faves are 116 and 91, but there's always so much truth to be found in there!!!))

A lot of the stuff William Blake wrote is amazing, though you have to pick carefully with him if certain religious motives aren't your thing... I love The Tyger, which is an individual poem, and the collection of works called Tyger, Tyger which does have many good ones and a few ones that are a little more on the mediocre side

Do not go gentle into that good night by Dylan Thomas (I know this one by heart as well... It's beautiful, and there's a version of Hiddleston reading it on YouTube, which gives you even more goosebumps than the poem does anyway)

Invictus by William Ernest Henley (same for this one, also read by the one and only) ((I love to read this when I'm feeling down or powerless))

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock by T. S. Eliot (This is another wow piece with many quotable lines and truths... I love it a lot and keep coming back to it! It's also a great example of how literary modernism tried to condense the complexity and passing of time and history into a single frame that had to be intrinsically poetical in nature... As in, this poem could've been a short story in any other period, but modernists loved to make everything a poem so here you go)

Der Zauberlehrling by Goethe (This one sucks in all English translations I’ve found, poetically speaking, but in German it’s such a fun piece! If you’ve ever seen the Disney ‘The Sorcerer’s Apprentice’ with Mickey Mouse or listened to the orchestral piece by Paul Dukas, then this poem proves very useful in truly understanding either! But again, the English translation should only be taken for informational value... The German one is also worded hilariously)

Prose

Short edited by Alan Ziegler (This is a collection of short prose forms that honestly is a must for me... I love this book to pieces and have had it for years now! It’s an international anthology, so you’ll find more and less famous authors from all around the world represented with short stories, prose poems, short essays and just curious and interesting snippets of writing! I draw a lot of inspiration from this book)

High-Rise by JG Ballard (As mentioned above, I owe this book part of my personality... I don’t think I would be the same person without having read it. It’s not necessarily full of wisdom, but if you’re interested in a different kind of portrayal of the human condition, then this is the read you need to take a look at)

The City of Dreaming Books by Walter Moers (This is another piece that changed my perception of literature, even though this is a more ordinary and ‘fun’-value read... It’s one of my favourite books and it’s endlessly entertaining! So if the classics are a bit heavy for you, this one is perfect for casual readers as well! Its value really does lie more in the realisation of how fun literature can be, and the freedom you have as an author... So really, I could recommend everything by Moers, his style is amazing both in the German original and in the English translation. Yes, I’ve read both.)

Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett (This is comedic gold, stylistic gold and generally a bloody perfect book. Also a ‘fun’-value read, but it also does a magnificent job at showing you what you can do with literature, and how well-developed characters are supposed to be written)

The Penguin Book of the Undead (Penguin Classics) edited by Scott G. Bruce (This book is basically an education on fifteen hundred years of supernatural encounters and how culture wrote, used and perceived them. You get introductory texts for different periods and social groups, explaining how and why ghost stories were written and used, followed by passages of the prime source texts (eg. ancient necromancy shown on The Odyssey). Really, this book is just for cultural history nerds)

The Earthquake in Chile by Kleist (This isn’t necessarily one of my faves, but it has helped me understand what studying literature and culture can do for you. In case anyone remembers my insistence in Wicked Game that you gotta know what a pomegranate symbolises... this novella is such an instance where this knowledge would prove useful. Generally, it gives many opportunities to think about privilege and circumstance)

The Symposium by Plato (You’ll probably not want to read the entire collection of speeches tbh... But the concepts introduced mainly here and in some of Plato’s other work are well worth looking into! For example, the ‘double being’ introduces a concept that in modern fiction is called soulmates... Just sayin’)

#literature #lit rec #recommendation #literature recommendation

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prose-for-hire · 4 years ago

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Learn to love again

Part One

Pairing: Spike x reader or Angel x reader

Request: Technically, not requested. It’s a second part to ‘Christmas Break’. I wanted to write this, it was way too unresolved for my liking. It’s a choose-your-own ending between Spike or Angel! This one isn’t Christmas-themed !!

Warning: Mention of Spike being threatening in the past.

A/N: If you don’t wanna read the other one, here’s an overview. Spoiler: Spike got very jealous when you lied about going to Angel’s house. He became so mad that he punched the wall beside your head. Leaving you walking out and going to the only person you had left: Angel. This is the aftermath.

You sighed, staring through the thick condensation on the window. The early morning light was filtering through. Another day without him. Living with Angel had given you a lot of time for self-reflection, and not just because he wasn’t much of a talker.

With you, he would talk more than usual. He was really good to you. He allowed you to discuss your feelings. Sort through your emotions. He was an amazing listener and you thanked him everyday for letting you stay over Christmas and for a while after.

But in the bleak light of the morning, where you were confined to your own thoughts things never felt quite as clear as they did when you spoke to him about Spike. About how things had felt with him. You weren’t even sure if you were together after how you left things. Some days you weren’t sure you wanted to be. Others you longed for that feeling again. To have companionship, someone to share a bed with.

Unpicking your feelings was hard and often confusing. When you leaned against Angel, it appeared slightly easier. Although, of course, it was just the same. But having someone to talk to that wasn’t in the relationship was cathartic. He did chip in with his opinions and you took it with a pinch of salt seeing as you knew how much Angel disliked Spike.

You continued to stare out of the window, your eyes following a single bead of condensation sliding down. You sighed, you couldn’t stay in here forever. You would have to face up to everything eventually.

You and Angel spent time together through the months you had stayed. Your friends came to check on you, but you stayed with him. You felt comfortable there. You would often sit together, reading. Sometimes you took it in turns to read aloud. It was pleasant, soft even. He was a calming presence. He allowed you to forget about your situation. Distract you.

He was always there as much or as little as you needed. One evening you hugged him tight, thanking your friend softly. He was beside himself at this, he loved the contact. He wrapped his arms around you and didn’t want to let go. But you pulled back, giving him a soft smile before moving back to sit on the chair beside the window again.

He adored you. Wished that you had never even met Spike. He had always thought he was bad news and the idea that he had scared you in that way made his blood boil.

You were so grateful to Angel for the way he allowed you to stay, as if it was no imposition. He actually enjoyed the company. He felt a connection with you and he was happy to be there for as long as you needed him.

During your time at Angel’s you had barely left the house. Not feeling up to it and Angel had treated you so well you mysteriously had everything you needed without having to verbalise anything.

Spike finally figured out where you were. It angered him to no end. He waited outside, just watching. Hoping to get a glimpse of you. He kept to the shadows for the most part. Just watching.

Until one evening, after you had fallen into a slumber as you had read together. Angel lay a blanket over you before he stalked outside and confronted him.

“Go home” Angel said levelly, standing directly in front of Spike. He had been through almost an entire pack of cigarettes on this particular night.

“It’s nothing without them in it” he said, his face downcast. Angel could smell the alcohol on him. He was drunk.

“They’re not here, drop the act” He bit, his tone harsher this time. Spike squinted, he was perceptive even in his drunk state. He could see his fears had come true. Angel had feelings for you. He had run you straight into his arms too.

“You did this to us! We were doin’ fine until you ran in, forehead first, and bollocksed it all up!”

“You tried to hit them, Spike. It make you feel big, huh? You did this. You ruined it.”

“I bloody didn’t, I hit a wall. If I had wanted to hit ‘em I would have done” He boasted which, he instantly regretted. He kind of realised it wasn’t the best thing to say. He really hadn’t wanted to hurt you, but he had known that it would have shaken you up. Which he sorely regretted.

It was Angel, he decided. Always getting in his head. In yours. He didn’t care for the argument you had anymore, he just wanted you back. By his side.

“Y/n!” He shouted, “Y/N-!” At the top of his lungs before Angel ran at him and covered his hand with his mouth. Trying to stop you from waking up.

Spike shrugged him off and shoved him backwards. Which caused a fight to erupt. Angel was fast becoming protective of you and his affection for you was clear as day to Spike. They started to hurl insults through gritted teeth, Angel was trying to tackle Spike to the floor as the blonde vampire looped a muscled arm around his neck to try and get him to let go. They were in a deadlock trying to throw the other off them.

You woke up at this. It was so loud. You ran from your spot on the sofa to see what was happening from the open front door. It was them. The only vampires you held fondness for. But they were fighting. It took you a moment but you realised suddenly it was over you. You felt embarrassed, confused. What did this mean?

“Love! Listen here, I would never lay a hand on you-” Spike started, slurring slightly, upon seeing your form in the doorway.

“Go. Now” Angel warned and when Spike looked back pleadingly at your face he realised it was blank. You weren’t coming with him. So he hung his head, the shame permeating in the air.

Angel shoved him away and walked towards you, trying to calm himself down from the altercation. You turned and went back into the house, Angel followed you inside a strong hand now so gentle on your back ushering you inside. Spike sniffed, wiping his eyes as he dragged his feet but ended up staggering back to the crypt, via the liquor store.

The next morning, you were sat in your usual seat beside the window. The sunrise cast a pale yellow hue around the large living space you had become accustomed to. Angel was in bed and you were thinking to yourself. What you had seen, it made you realise something. That you hadn’t faced Spike properly since.

You missed him, you couldn’t lie and say all of those feelings you had for him had disappeared. Despite everything. In some way, you don’t think they ever would.

You were so grateful to Angel for all that he had done, how he had looked out for you when he really didn’t have to. But you decided to pack a bag and walk back to the crypt. If it went wrong, you could just walk back. But you had to do something. Hear him out.

Maybe it would make your mind up for you. Make you realise how you truly felt rather than all these contradictory emotions that ran at you at once.

After you had packed a small bag, you started towards the door. You hadn’t heard him get up. You didn’t realise he had seen you get ready to leave. Your face trying to psyche yourself up to face him again.

He put a gentle hand on your shoulder and you jumped slightly at the sensation, but turned around. He sighed as he looked at you, but he had decided he would have to say this. Whether it would ruin your relationship with him or not.

“Don’t go back to him, Y/n. He’s not good for you, I know you can see it too. I love you, I think I always have and I need you to understand that there is real, honest love out there. Without expectation or possession. Even if you don’t feel the same for me”

Angel’s confession hung in the air, you gasped. You didn’t know what to say.

Spike:

You thought for a moment and frowned at him. He watched you decide something. He had done this for selfish reasons then. He had taken you in, only with the idea that you would repay him in some way. With your affection. He said he didn’t expect anything but he didn’t look as if he wanted to let you leave.

He seemed to have decided for you. Decided that made him a better man. A man more worthy than Spike.

“You don’t know anything about my relationship with Spike” You said slowly, trying to give him the benefit of the doubt.

“I know enough” He said, the edge to his voice read as condescending.

“I appreciate what you’ve done for me, you took me in. Let me stay, but this doesn’t mean I feel the same. And I’m sorry if I led you to believe otherwise” You said calmly, trying to gauge if you were going to struggle to leave or not. There was a strange tension in the air.

“That’s okay, I just don’t want you to-”

“It’s not about what you want, Angel. It’s about what I want. And I’m sorry, I truly am, but you’re not it” You explained as he tensed his jaw slightly, his eyes staring holes through you before he just shrugged as if this was fine.

“But he is?” He couldn’t help scoffing, stepping in your way before you could get to the door. He almost looked menacing, an edge to his voice that suggested he wasn’t so innocent. As ‘selfless’ as his confession of love suggested.

“Move, Angel”

“You don’t want this. You don’t want him” He tried, as if he were the voice of reason you had started to trust he was. But you didn’t want someone that told you how you were feeling. You wanted someone that could allow you to help you grow more confident in yourself. In your own decisions.

“Please, I won’t ask again. Let me leave” You decided you weren’t above pleading. You were tired. You just wanted to go.

So he moved, telling you he would be here once it went bad again.

You walked through Sunnydale, your mind even more clouded than before. You had trusted Angel but as soon as it had stopped going the way he wanted he had started to turn.

When you rounded the corner and saw the familiar crypt you had once called home, you felt your heart start to flutter. You felt a breath of relief, the storm lifting from your mind. This was what you were supposed to do. Where you were supposed to be.

You entered the crypt slowly, “Spike!” You shouted around the empty room. Your heart ached as you saw the shell of what your home had once been. The Christmas decorations were still littering the floor, along with empty liquor bottles now. He hadn’t the heart to clean it up. He had just wallowed here, in his misery. The idea that his actions had drove you straight into another man’s arms.

It disgusted him. He didn’t hate you for it, didn’t want to hurt you more than he already had.

He looked up from where he had been slumped, staring at the screen. He hadn’t been watching, only thinking. Thinking of you. The way you would whisper in his ear and cuddle up to him. Expressing your warmth and love through that heavenly touch.

He had been so close to heaven and he hadn’t realised. Hadn’t fully comprehended. And he blamed himself, for getting angry, violent. He really hadn’t had any intention to hurt you, but that wasn’t the point anymore. The point was that you had felt unsafe with him.

That look in your eye, no matter what happy memories he recalled at the end of each seemingly good time that look was there. Even when it didn’t fit with the original scene. That frightened look, as if you believed that his fist only barely missed your face by chance. You had looked helpless and it had broken him.

He cursed himself. His anger. His stupid jealousy. Because it had been the reason he lost you. You had been right, he should have trusted you. He had seen you at Angel’s house, guiltily watching. He had seen you obliviously rebuff any advance Angel had made. Any overly friendly comment had you smiling and putting a distance between you and the man.

Only now he saw it, you weren’t the enemy. He was. Angel. Just like he always had been.

“Love?” He asked, frowning into the darkness. The furrow only lifting slightly when he saw that it really was you. He must be dreaming again, he thought. So, he did what he did every day as he slept, he stood and walked towards you to begin the atonement process. Every night it ended the same, with you back in bed with Angel. But every night he apologised, because it meant something. You meant something. Everything.

“I’m so sorry, love, I would never hurt you. My anger, I’m workin’ on it, I promise you that. I’m not gonna rest until I make it up to you. No matter how long it takes… I ache for you, only you. And the way I express it, I-I know it’s not right. This thing that we have, this jealous nature I can’t begin to control around you” He sighed, shaking his head at the ground, at himself, “I can only hope that one day, I can prove my worth to you. My love for you will never end. If that means you’re in his arms by sundown, well, I don’t like it, but my love won’t slow. It courses through me, always… I’m eternally yours”

Your eyes widened, he had never spoken so honestly. Never even shown you the way he had reflected on his own emotions. Behaviour. He had called his jealousy mere ‘passion’ for most of your relationship.

He had a lot of time to himself since you were away. Time that told him his life was nothing without you in it. He moved his hand, reaching to cup your cheek.

“I love you” You whispered. He frowned, this wasn’t how the dream usually went. Your eyes would water and you would flinch away from him in horror any time he reached out. You instead closed your eyes, moving into his touch.

No, this was no dream. Of course it was you, the real you. Your kind nature. Your calm presence washed over him. He never wanted to leave your side, but he understood now that he should trust that you wouldn’t stray. Rather than trying to restrict you to be with him.

“You were right, Spike” You said, the tears falling, “About Angel… he wanted me and I was too stupid to see it”

“Not your fault, pet. Come here” He gestured for you to lean into him and you did, “He’s insidious. Get’s in your head. Like he did to me”

“I’m so sorry” You mumbled, tears falling from your face.

“Hey, hush, you have nothing to apologise for. I should have explained, should have- but I couldn’t. My anger was so strong I thought I might drown in it. The current swept me away and I’ll spend the rest of my days regretting it” He admitted earnestly. His hand that caressed your cheek now so much softer than he had been the last time you saw him. His face had softened and you could tell he meant it.

This wasn’t some line to get you into bed. To make you come back. He had no agenda, no purpose other than to tell you his honest intentions and feelings.

You understood that he meant it and your heart, your mind, it was only alive when you were with him. You knew he would never have hit you, but his jealousy really was something that he needed to work on. You both knew this.

“Can I come back home?” You asked, barely above a whisper.

“Always” he whispered, kissing your forehead and pulling you into a tight embrace. He closed his eyes at the contact, feeling the way your body moulded against his. You fit perfectly.

He promised, silently, to always remember this moment. To try against anything never to raise his voice. His fist. Not in your presence, not against you.

He moved back slightly, his body still against yours but he wanted to look at your face. Your hands rested on his back as you gazed back into his eyes. He leaned in, pressing soft kisses to your cheeks. Your nose and your forehead again. He peppered you with a shower of such soft kisses. He made you feel cherished.

You knew it wouldn’t be easy, it wouldn’t always be as good as this, but you could do it together. You could learn to love again.

Angel:

You stared at him for a moment, your mouth slightly open. Your heart had skipped a beat and you were sure that he must have heard it.

“Y-you mean it? You like me?”

“Of course I like you, you’re the strongest and kindest person I ever met. You’re too good for someone like him, or me. But I had to tell you. You deserve better”

“A-Angel”

“You don’t have to say anything” He looked at the floor, downcast.

You hadn’t realised what this feeling was. It had been building up inside you. Only now could you name it.

You had shared his sofa, cuddled up together. Not realising how much closer you wished he would be to you. You had smiled, he was the only one able to make you laugh since you left Spike. The only time you could relax was when you were by his side.

Listened to each other’s pasts, sharing memories and hushed whispers long into the night until you fell asleep. You always woke in the morning, in your bed wrapped in blankets.

How could you have missed this? The way your heart soared whenever he entered the room. The care, he was so gentle with you. You hadn’t realised the way you felt until it had crept up on you. Until he put it into words for you.

There he was, standing right there in front of you.

The truth was, you weren’t used to it. Soft, pure intentioned love. Spike had been rough, haphazard and insanely jealous. Whereas Angel was earnest, kind and understanding.

It took you a moment to process it all and he stood, embarrassed at the silence. Until you looked at him, as if it was the first time anyone had seen him - fully seen him, before.

“I think I love you too” You admitted, it was shrouded in guilt. Because of how fresh leaving Spike had been. Because of how you felt Angel was too good for you. Too sweet and understanding.

He slowly scanned your face, every inch confirming that you were being sincere. His mouth turned into a cautious smile. He had spent this time longing and hoping but trying beyond anything to be a good friend.

He didn’t want to be selfish. You had been hurting. He wasn’t going to say anything, but he had seen the way you were looking at the prospect of going back to Spike. You appeared broken, as if you felt your only option was to make reparations with him. Because it was all you had known.

“Will you… go with me? Help me get the rest of my stuff. Uh, if I’m allowed to stay…” You posed the question, looking at the floor.

“You’re always welcome here. This is your home, for as long as you want” he confirmed, he had wanted you to choose to stay with him and turns out, you had. It was all he had ever hoped. His heart swelled.

“Would forever work for you?” You said, jokingly but the look he gave you made your heart sing. He had loved you for a long while now, only realising it properly these past months.

You both waited for the sun to set before you went to Spike’s crypt. Giving you both time to talk and further confirm your feelings for the other.

As night fell, you made your way over there. Walking slowly. You glanced at him a few times before you slipped your hand into his. You were worried he would reject the gesture, but he lit up as he felt your hand in his. He squeezed it comfortingly as you walked towards the crypt. Your dread increasing with every step you took toward that place.

It had once been home, but it was only a broken shell in your mind now.

You stopped dead. You couldn’t go any further. You were concerned. Spike could make you feel so small.

“I-I don’t think I can, Angel” You said softly, embarrassed at how your voice wavered, “He’ll think this was what I planned… I don’t want him to-”

“I’ve got it, if that’s what you want I can go in there by myself. There’s nothing to be ashamed of. What he did to you was…” Angel sighed, shaking his head. He began rubbing your upper arm comfortingly. You leant into it, you felt so safe with Angel.

“Evil? He did warn me” You deadpanned. But Angel shook his head. Even for Spike, your relationship had been nasty. He had seen how he had been with Drusilla, he had been entirely softer with her than you and he didn’t think much of that relationship either.

Angel held your hand, leading you to sit away from the crypt. He crouched down before you, at your level. He assured you that he would be as quick as he could be. He looked at you for a moment, debating something. He leaned in and landed a soft kiss on your forehead, avoiding your eyes as he rose to his feet and moved away again. He nodded at you, noticing the ghost of a smile on your face at the gesture.

He left for a while, you heard crashing. Spike was probably throwing things. As he often did when he didn’t get his way. You winced at the noise, but you were already feeling better that you didn’t have to face him. You didn’t feel right about it even when you had decided on it.

Angel’s confession, and your subsequent reciprocation made you realise. You couldn’t dwell on the past. On the way Spike had made you feel the way he had. On how you were concerned to even be in the same room as him.

You had to move on instead. You wanted to move on, with him.

Angel returned and took your hand again, his eyes were wild from the fight but he would never let you feel that side of him. Barely let you see it. He was so in tune to your emotions. His touch was soothing, calm around you. He walked you home, carrying the bags he had managed to pack despite Spike’s constant pulling your items and throwing them back into the crypt.

You returned. To safety. Home.

You smiled, the brightest smile he had ever seen from you lately. He basked in the glow. You thanked him profusely. As soon as he moved closer to you, now that you were alone, you felt your heart start to flutter.

You felt a breath of relief, the storm lifting from your mind. This was exactly where you were supposed to be. You leaned into him, his lips were on yours instantly. They were so light and he pulled away so as not to push anything. But when you reached for him and pressed your lips against his again, deepening the kiss he relaxed.

There was such feeling behind this kiss. Things that couldn’t be explained in mere words now shown through this loving act.

Angel didn’t see you as broken. He saw you as immeasurably strong for walking away from Spike. For allowing love back in despite the trauma you had been through. Spike had scared you. Hurt you. But Angel just wanted to be there, by your side. Share love rather than take it from you, forcibly or otherwise.

He held you against him, in such reverence. With such adoration. You lay together in bed that night, you had never felt a partner so centred around you and your needs. To him, it matched or even transcended his own.

Even being beside you was a reward he felt he did not deserve. He promised, silently that he was always make you feel safe. He never wanted you to feel trapped with him.

You cherished your Angel. Somewhere deep within, you felt it. By his side, you could learn to love again.

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my-simp-land · 4 years ago

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Setting Boundaries

Lately, I've been having trouble setting boundaries in my own life, so I felt inspired to write this where there is a happy ending and not just stifling tension in the house. I hope this helps someone in need. You can do it bb. We have to take care of ourselves :)

Lucifer x reader/mc

Fluff with angst. Happy ending

1997 words

Since moving into the House of Lamination and getting to know the brothers, it was obvious that Lucifer was the main caregiver in the house. His approach was more business than affectionate, but that’s okay; that’s where I come in. In the beginning, I would try to help Lucifer directly by helping him with his paperwork or running errands for him. I quickly realized that keeping his brothers out of trouble or solving the problem before it got to him helped him far more than organizing his filing cabinets.

The new chain of authority quickly became accepted within the House of Lamination. Mammon had me on speed dial, so my D.D.D. was constantly ringing off the hook. The other brothers were nice about it though. It gave them a chance to open up about more problems without worrying about the stress and reaction it would cause.

The House of Lamination, and in turn the RAD campus, changed overnight. The student council’s relationship had drastically improved, and anyone could see it. Other demons began to come to me with their problems. I made a drop box where anyone could write their problems or thoughts and submit them. Lucifer bequeathed me a bulletin board where I could answer some of the simpler questions, but I had a column in the school newspaper where I wrote about other, more complex problems. My peers began to say I was an angel with a demon’s perspective. The blessing, or curse, of being a human, I guess

***

Everything was working out for Lucifer. With your help, he had so much more time to complete his tasks but also give himself the basic care he needed. The house was clean. His brothers didn’t run to him with their every problem. School was becoming the campus Diavolo imagined it to be. What could go wrong? Well, a lot could go wrong actually. Very easily. He just had to keep his watchful eye and stop it before it went too far.

***

A few months into my new councilor position, I began to feel the effects of my work. The world around me was on the up and up, but I was so tired. I was so exhausted, physically and mentally. It took hours to come up with some of these responses, and I was so focused on other’s needs that I began to neglect my own. Usually I went home to my room to work on my responses in private, but today, for some reason, I decided to stay in the student council room. Other members came in and out working on their own projects, exchanging pleasantries, but eventually, all became quiet. It was just me and my melted down iced coffee.

I watched the condensation run down the side of my cup as I thought of a good way to respond to this problem. How does one properly discuss their boundaries with the ones they love? I had plenty of answers, but I couldn’t think of one that I had actually used.

“MC? You’re still here. We were looking all over for you.” Lucifer.

“Oh. Uh- sorry Lucifer. I guess I just got so caught up in writing that I lost track of time I guess.” He walked over and peered over my shoulder at the paper before me. We sat there in silence for a moment before he spoke.

“So, how would you solve that problem?”

How would I solve speaking about boundaries? That's a great question, Lucifer. I’ve only been thinking about that for the last two hours.

“I’m not sure. I always try to put myself in the demon’s shoes, but it just isn’t working this time. I have plenty of hypotheticals but nothing I can solidly say would help.”

He hums in reaction and walks around the table to take his seat. Across from me, his red eyes peer into mine. We stare at each other for moments before I look back down at my paper. I can still feel his eyes locked onto me. I can’t imagine what’s going through his head. Is he trying to solve the problem? Is he thinking about replacing me? Am I becoming another problem to him?

“What if I told you I submitted that problem?”

What. Lucifer...submitting a problem...to me? I didn’t think he’d have problems with the brothers occupied. Sure, I would have to drag Mammon into his office when the problem was bigger than I was, and sometimes I would give him some insight onto the student’s thoughts. But Lucifer didn’t have any real problems. He was the Morningstar. He can do basically anything that he wants.

“Well, um- I...I guess I would ask for more context since you’re here.”

“I only wrote that. How would you answer that?”

So...so...ugh.

“I guess I would try to go to a private place with them. Make sure it’s the right time to bring it up. I wouldn’t want them to already be in a bad mood or be taken by something else. I would try to be comfortable with them. Not come off as aggressive or manipulative. Oh idk.”

I sigh and place my head between my hands. “Usually I set boundaries in the moment. It’s just a ‘I didn’t like that and would appreciate it if you didn’t do that again,’ but this leaves so many possibilities.”

I carry on with my thoughts in my head before Lucifer interrupts. “Carry on with what you were saying before.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to beat around the bush, but I wouldn’t want to be harsh. It’s a fine line to walk. Simple sentences. ‘I don’t appreciate this’ or ‘It makes me upset when you do this’ then I would follow it up with ‘I would be grateful if you were to refrain from that behavior’ or something similar. Just straight to the point but not pointing fingers at them. Don’t condemn them. Either they would agree or deny to change. If they agree, I would thank them for understanding and change the subject. If they deny, I would really set the boundary. I would tell them that I won’t be around someone who does that and would separate until they change or we meet a compromise or it could just be over. Sometimes it isn’t that easy. There’s more conversation where a compromise is made.”

“But what if they ask why?”

“I would explain. ‘I don’t like the way it makes me feel’ or ‘I don’t want to see you, someone else be hurt.’ Honesty is key. I wouldn’t see it as a defiance, but a way to understand you better.”

Lucifer reaches across the table and takes my hands. “It makes me upset when you exhaust yourself and neglect yourself because of your tasks. I would appreciate it if you let me take care of things again, so you can take care of yourself again.”

I shoot out of my seat, ripping my hands from his. “That is not an option, Lucifer. I’m helping and mending relationships; not only between humans and demons but demons and demons. I also can’t leave you to handle everything again. I set the boundary of me between you and the Devildom. I don’t appreciate it when you neglect your own problems for others!”

He sighs and pinches his brow. “Doll, I’ve done this for centuries now. You’ve given me a great vacation. The best one I’ve ever had, but it’s time for me to take back over now. I can’t let you run yourself into the ground and say I’m doing my job of watching over you.”

I press my hands into the table. “I will not let you handle everyone’s problems again. I refuse. I’m helping you by carrying some of the weight.” We sit in silence staring at each other before I speak again. “Is this because of your pride? I promise you that no one sees me as better than you. We’re not even in the same league. You do much greater things than I do. I’m just a post-it note therapist. I’m just a sounding board for my peers. You help run, not only a school, but an entire kingdom just because you’re friends with the crown prince. You deserve more, and you know i-”

“That’s enough!” He flew out of his seat and slammed his palms on the table. We were face to face; our breath running across the other’s face. “You will not carry on with your little crisis hotline if you’re going to neglect yourself.”

“I won’t give you an ounce of this weight back if you are going to neglect yourself.”

“I forbid it!”

“You might think you have some chokehold on me like you do your brothers, but you’re not stopping me from doing what I want. I’m solving problems; not causing them!”

“You are causing problems! Problems with me! You aren’t taking care of yourself!”

“Well you weren’t either when they were your problems!”

“I’m allowed to do that!”

“Like hell you are. I care too much to see you passed out in your office or turning to the bottle! As long as I can do something, I will!”

I could stare into his eyes to see the storm brewing within. He wants to say more, but his pride is holding him back. He wants it his way, but I won’t allow it. I can’t. What will he do? Will he run to Diavolo for some special permission to get me to stop? Will he tear down my board? Remove me from the school newspaper?

“I care about you too. More than I let on.” The energy in the room immediately shifts. No longer is it an argument; but a conversation. “Just as it hurt you to see me in pain, it hurts me. I cannot let you carry on this way”

My mind goes into autopilot. I take a step closer to him. My arms find their way around his torso. His circle me. I bring my head to his neck. We stand there for a few minutes, thinking of responses, enjoying the other’s care.

“So you know why I can’t give it all back to you?”

He gives me a squeeze. “Yes.”

I can’t help but chuckle. “Well, what a pickle we’re in.” He laughs.

As we stand there, clinging to each other, we think. We both know it can’t carry on like this. I breathe him in. My mind eases.

“You could find some of your other friends to help. Maybe give them some sample questions to solve or just someone to help you write.” I nod into his neck.

“I can still help with your brothers. Maybe we could learn from this and set some boundaries with them.” He nods. “That sounds wonderful.”

I pull myself back just enough to look up at his face. “I’ll give you my word to take care of myself. To step back when I need it, whether it’s me who decides or you, and vice versa with you.”

“I give you my word.” “And I give you mine.”

All tension is gone from the room. We smile at each other, relishing in the fact that neither of us will be hurting anymore. “May I kiss you?” “Yes.”

His lips fall down to mine. They’re soft against mine. They move with the same grace as he does, but they’re confident. He pulls me flush against his body. The kiss maybe lasted a minute or two, but I felt like it lasted a lifetime. We moved in complete agreement. Where he ended, I began. Where I ended, he began. It was like we became one heart.

I had to pull away to fill my lungs. “Well, it didn’t go like I said, but I hope I helped you with your problem.

Lucifer’s head fell back with laughter. Not a brief chuckle but real, full belly laughter. “I’d say it did. Thank you, doll.”

P.s. I fully believe Satan heard the argument and seeing MC coming out the student council room and he was fully like "how did they not die?"

#otome romance #obey me one master to rule them all #obey me mc #obey me simp #obey me shall we date #obey me #obey me aesthetic #obey me main character #obey me lucifer #lucifer #lucifer x y/n #lucifer x mc

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hournites · 4 years ago

Note

hournite + "Your hands are too cold, I'll warm them up."

From the 101 ways to say I love you prompt list

Beth lowers her scarf from her mouth.

“Where are your gloves?” she demands as soon as Rick treks up the front steps of Blue Valley High. He’s not wearing a hat either, but the hoodie he’s wearing under one of those giant jackets he owns is just enough for Beth to put that aside for now. The gloves are what Beth is most concerned about, he's still driving to school and his steering wheel must be freezing.

There’s snow resting over the top curl of Rick’s hair and piled up high on his school bag. He shakes it out, brushing snow off with his red-tinged fingers. “Lost them,” Rick says.

It’s only supposed to pick up over the day, Beth overheard one of the teachers say they might end school early in case the roads close. She pulls open the door and gets Rick inside and out of the storm. At least he has boots now, but even those don’t look very practical for the weather. Beth unzips her green faux-fur trimmed parka as the condensation hits her glasses. She reaches for his hand and hisses when their knuckles brush together, “Rick!”

“What?” he grumbles, but Beth sees his mouth start to curve. A part of her knows as annoyed as he acts he likes the way she fusses over him sometimes.

“You need proper winter clothes! Your hands are too cold, I'll warm them up.”

They stand in the hall in front of their lockers. It’s still much too early, their teacher hasn’t even made it yet to open the class for homeroom. Rick came and met Beth at this time so they could study for their midterm exam, but it'll be futile if his fingers fall off before he gets the chance to sit down and write it.

She pulls off her yellow scarf and takes both of Rick’s hands in hers, wrapping them up in the wool. She rubs them until she’s confident he won’t get frostbite. When she looks up, Rick’s giving her a funny, lopsided smile.

“What?” she frowns, narrowing her eyes.

“Nothing,” Rick says in that very stupid tone of his when he thinks he’s getting away with a lie.

Beth drops his hands and folds them over her coat. “Do you have extra gloves at home?”

“No?” He pauses. “Wait, I can wear my Hourman ones?”

The funny part is that he seems serious.

“You mean the ones with the brass knuckles?” Beth deadpans. “You want to wear those to school and give yourself away to the new ISA Unlimited?”

“….No?” Rick says again, less confident this time.

“No,” Beth agrees. She takes his hands again and squeezes them tightly. She's surprised when he squeezes back. It’s then she sees how tired he looks. "Have you been studying all night?"

"Yeah." He hides a yawn, blinking sleepily at her. "Sorry."

“It’s okay. We’ll think of something. About the gloves, I mean.”

Beth switches out of her boots and into shoes and puts her stuff away in her locker. She offers to store Rick’s things in there too as she wonders if Chuck would be sufficient enough help for her to learn some knitting. Rick closes the locker door when it gets jammed from holding all their bulky stuff.

“Do you want some hot chocolate? The cafeteria should be open soon.”

“Sure,” Rick says, wrapping an arm around her.

Beth smiles up at him. She wasn’t cold before, having dressed properly, but she can't deny that Rick holding her to him so close as they walk makes Beth extra warm and toasty.

#hn fic #hournite #rick x beth #ask #fluff #hournites fic #tkv fic #stargirl #dctv #pls geoff johns just let them be soft

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kaistarus · 5 years ago

Text

Just A Line Without A Hook

Pairing: Hinata X Reader

Words: 5.9K

Summary: You and Hinata share your point-of-views during important milestones throughout your relationship.

A/N: This is a full relationship development and I’m very proud lol hopefully you can find some joy in it :3

Masterlist // Ko-Fi

Hinata was weird.

That lurked in your mind as you leaned on a conspicuously sticky bar table listening to him tell you his entire life’s story. Your original intent for the night had been to quickly pop into Yachi’s birthday party since you worked at the butt crack of dawn. Give her the present and maybe have a drink. Whatever you did it was meant to be fast.

Too bad you had never been good at sticking to plans.

“I moved to Brazil right after high school to learn beach volleyball,” Hinata said, his smile soft as he looked longingly in the distance. “But I didn’t explore as much as I should have. I really want to go back.”

“Out of high school?” You cocked your head to the side, “that’s wild. I moved to Tokyo and still felt completely out of place.”

“Well, it didn’t go too hot at first.” He scratched his cheek. “I actually got my wallet stolen my first week there…”

You fought to keep lips from pulling into a smile.

There was something in the carefree way he carried himself that made it hard to turn away. The moment Yachi introduced you there was an odd sense of comfort that washed over you. Which made no sense because you had known absolutely nothing about the guy-aside from him being a professional volleyball player and attending high school with Yachi.

Still, it was no reason to let your guard down.

“Sounds like they took advantage of the clueless foreigner,” you teased, curious butterflies tickling your abdomen when he pouted. “I’ve always thought Italy looked cool. If I could travel somewhere.”

Hinata’s lips mindlessly curved into a relaxed smile as you spoke, as if that was their default expression when not preoccupied. And it made conversation with him easy. It dissipated your usual anxieties about overthinking every action or word. You truly felt like you could be yourself and just exist within his presence.

“I have a friend in Italy!” Hinata said, elation lighting up his amber eyes. He began drawing circles in the condensation of his glass with an awkward laugh. “I think anyway. He travels all over the place, but he was in Italy last I knew.”

“That’s so cool,” your jaw went a little slack. You didn’t know people actually did stuff like that.

“Yeah Noya’s the best,” Hinata nodded resolutely. “He visited me for a while in Brazil. I taught him some Portugese and we played beach volleyball. He was so jealous everyone called me Ninja Shoyo. It was awesome.”

Hinata could speak Portugese? Ninja Shoyo?

So many questions…

“What’s a Ninja Sho-” You began until your phone lit up after receiving a message and you realized just how late it was. “Oh my god, I have to go.”

“Wait,” Hinata interrupted you mid-frantic scrabble to zip your jacket. You furrowed your brow at the smartphone he placed unlocked on the table between you. “Could I-uh-you know… talk to you again sometime?”

You blinked a few times before swiping the device off the bar’s gross table. “Yeah,” you said, a warmth you didn’t recognize filling your chest as you created your contact. “I’d like that.”

An absentminded smile painted Hinata’s face after you waved good-bye and when you stepped outside beneath the light snowfall you realized your lips were curved to match. But there was still too wide a gap between how little you knew about Hinata and how much you desired to be close to him. That new part of you burned too bright in your chest to be ignored.

And you would simply have to change that.

*******************************************************************************************

Hinata huddled in the corner of the gymnasium over his duffle bag, staring at his cellphone in case he received a last second message. His eyes flickered between the ticking clock above the bleachers and his phone’s black screen, stomach sinking as the seconds passed. He anxiously unlocked his phone to scroll through and analyze his last conversation.

Had he said something wrong? He supposed he’d never actively tried to flirt before, so it wasn’t unlikely he offended you somehow. He furrowed his brow and chewed on his thumbnail, rereading his last message. Maybe he overdid it with the emojis?

Wait, were you at work? You could also just be busy. Maybe he was just overthinking everything…

“Why are you crouched in the corner like a creep?” Atsumu crept up behind him, eyeing him suspiciously.

Hinata jumped, shoving his phone back into his duffle bag. “Nothing.”

“Bull shit. You’ve been acting off for weeks,” Atsumu squatted to Hinata’s eye-level and leaned forward with a sly grin. “Someone’s keeping secrets.”

A warmth rushed to Hinata’s face. He was a terrible liar if questioned directly. “I wouldn’t keep secrets from you guys. I mean, we’re practically family now.” he chuckled unconvincingly.

“Right,” Atsumu gave him a once-over before standing. Hinata let out a relieved sigh that he’d been spared for now.

“What’s happening over here?” Bakuto boisterously called out while skipping over to the boys. Sakusa trailed behind him with his hands shoved deep into his sweatpant’s pockets.

“Hinata’s lying out his ass.”

Hinata whipped around toward Atsumu with his jaw slack. The audacity of this guy. “I am not!”

“The guy’s zoning out at practice, making heart eyes at his phone, and fucking notre daming over his duffle?” Atsume raised his brows at Hinata. “Either he’s getting scouted for a different team or he’s dating someone.”

“You’re leaving the team?” Sakusa asked monotone, as if he couldn’t care either way. If Hinata wasn’t used to the constant monotone he’d be offended.

“No,” he denied, qualming Bokuto’s prepared puppy-dog eyes. “And I’m not dating anyone.”

Which wasn’t a lie. You were nothing more than a friend at this point. Even if his heart ignited a flame anytime your name crossed his mind.

“A crush then,” Atsumu waved him off. “Either way a massive Hinata life development you lied to us about.”

“I didn’t lie, I just,” Hinata wrinkled his nose while thinking of ways out of the predicament. “I think Shugo is calling to start practice. We should probably-”

“You’ve got a crush?” Bokuto’s eyes appeared to sparkle when he flung an arm around Hinata’s shoulder. “Who is it? Do we know them? You don’t need to sweat Hinata I’m an excellent wingman.”

Hinata waved his hands in front of him. “You don’t know them and it’s okay. You really don’t have to-”

“Oh, don’t be so considerate. We’re offering our services Hinata.” Atsumu said smugly while Bokuto nodded excitedly.

Hinata forced a half-smile. This had been exactly what he wanted to avoid. If his feelings were just a measly crush he would have gladly brought them up to the guys, but they were way more extreme then that.

“I’m not offering anything,” Sakusa raised his brows slightly in Hinata’s direction before walking off. “Good luck.”

“Buzz kill.” Atsumu pouted.

“Look, this is more complicated than you guys realize,” Hinata brushed Bokuto’s arm off his shoulders. “I can’t really explain it, but I don’t think you guys can help me.”

“Hinata, it’s okay. We all have our faults. Some more than others, but we’re here for you.” Atsumu patted his shoulder understandably and Hinata shot him a glare.

“Akaashi always tells me to ‘just be yourself’.” Bokuto nodded proudly, clasping his fist with determination. “Then you’ll attract the people who are meant to be in your life.”

Hinata blinked a few times. That… was really good advice.

“That’s stupid,” Atsumu scoffed. “You gotta stalk them on all social media. Analyze their personality and figure out exactly what they're into. Learn their ins and outs and become their type.”

That… was the dumbest thing he had ever heard.

“I don’t know Atsumu, that sounds kind of wrong,” Bokuto tapped his chin and Atsumu pinched the bridge of his nose, sighed deeply.

“Okay, but numbers don’t lie and I have the highest success rate.”

Bokuto and Hinata tilted their heads mulling that one over. No. It still seemed dumb.

Hinata zoned off as Bokuto and Atsumu began debating the morals of online stalking and the value of Akaashi’s opinions. He already knew that if he wanted real help picking apart the fire in his chest he’d have to talk to someone who’d take him seriously like Yamaguchi. Then he’d actually get to dissect the confusing emotions in his heart-look at them from all angles.

Learn to understand them and tend to them properly. Help them grow.

He watched Atsumu chase a cackling Bokuto around the gym until their captain Shugo scolded them. Hinata smirked. Even if they weren’t the most helpful he still appreciated knowing he had people willing to help him... in their own way.

*******************************************************************************************

You and Hinata spent the majority of your free time together, but even after several months it was nothing more than two friends placing comfort in each other’s company. Most Thursdays it was normal to find Hinata lounging on your living room sofa. He watched some volleyball commentary video on his cellphone, legs propped lazily on the armrest, while you answered work emails at your coffee table.

On a normal Thursday night you would continue whatever show you’d been watching-currently Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood-but tonight you were stuck finishing last minute work. You heaved a sigh and glanced over your shoulder at Hinata, his breathing relaxed while his eyes flickered across his phone’s screen.

You weren’t oblivious to your feelings. Maybe at first you were able to brush them off as excitement about a new friend, but they had shifted into something intense. Always festering in the forefront of your mind throughout your daily routine.

It became obvious when you noticed you spent more time counting the freckles scattered across the bridge of his nose than focusing on conversations. When you realized you spent more time at work trying to pin-point the exact shade to call his hair than getting actual work done. Even more so when your heart would do acrobatics at the sound of his voice whenever you talked on the phone.

No matter how you looked at it, it became impossible to deny.

“Hey, are you okay?”

You looked back again and Hinata’s eyebrows were furrowed with concern, his earbuds pulled out and phone placed on his stomach.

“Yeah,” you half-smiled and he raised his brows to show he clearly didn’t believe you. You let out a breathy laugh, breaking the eye-contact to lean back against the couch and place your head on his bicep. “I’m just thinking.”

“Don’t hurt yourself,” he teased, a hand gently placed on the crown of your head.

“Shut up,” you said with no bite behind your words.

He snorted, rubbing his thumb against the top of your head. “...what if I was also thinking?”

“That’s probably more dangerous than me thinking,” you laughed, rubbing your socked toes together with a soft smile. When he didn’t respond you twisted around to check on him, but he wouldn’t meet your eyes. “Hinata?”

“Nevermind.”

You gripped the couch cushion for support as you leaned in slightly. There was no way for you to be sure, but you could have sworn Hinata was blushing.

“What were you thinking about?” You questioned. Your heart was beating a million times a second in your chest and there was something akin to hope burning beside it.

Hinata looked in your eyes challengingly, “what were you thinking about?”

“You.”

He seemed taken aback by your bluntness, but brushed it off quickly. “I want to kiss you.”

Your eyes widened. It felt like all the air had been sucked from the room as you stared into his hopeful amber eyes.

“Well, do it then.” You responded, barely above a whisper. Hinata took a while to process, but once he had his face lit up crimson.

His hand cradled the side of your face and you watched him carefully, allowing him to make the moves. You kept your mind blank so as not to overthink the situation, but you hoped at least one brain cell was functioning enough to get you through it.

The kiss Hinata pressed against your lips was a little too hesitant, too off-center, and too brief. Yet the beaming smile he gave you afterward sent your heart into a frenzy unlike anything you’d ever experienced. The dopey smile on your lips felt too embarrassing and you buried your face against Hinata’s chest.

After a little coaxing with promises of television and snacks you peeked back up, happily met with Hinata’s dazed smile. The rest of the night was spent wrapped in each other’s arms and supplying random kisses because ‘they definitely needed practice’; ending with Hinata falling asleep in your bed for the first, but definitely not last, time.

*******************************************************************************************

Hinata hated being sick.

He hated fighting through a thick fog to collect words when stringing together sentences was usually effortless. He hated the pounding headaches following any light reaching his unfocused eyes. And Hinata especially hated his fit lungs struggling through breaths that came out raspy and weak through his aching throat.

Nothing good came from being sick. It was a lesson he learned long ago.

“You need to sleep,” you whispered against the crown of his head, your fingers carding gently through his sweaty locks. He nuzzled the tip of his nose against the cool skin at your collarbone while gripping your shirt at your shoulder.

Unfortunately, you were making it really hard for him to hate anything anymore.

“You’re going to get sick,” he pointed out, voice scratchy from his throat’s soreness.

You hummed dismissively, planting a small kiss on the top of his head. “My immune system’s pretty strong.”

Hinata knew it didn’t work that way, but was too selfish to argue your flawed logic. The bare skin of your neck helped chill his overheated forehead and he cuddled ever closer into you, twining your legs together. He wrinkled his nose when he realized how gross his fever was probably making him.

He’d have to wash your sheets and stuff when he was feeling better.

“I wish I could kiss you,” he pouted.

“That one’s gonna have to wait,” you chuckled lightly, beginning to rub soothing circles into his lower back. The vibrations from your voice sent a pleasant shiver down Hinata’s spine and the corners of his lips lifted. “You know, you’ll get better faster if you sleep.”

“But I wanna stay awake with you,” Hinata whined, lazily beginning to trace designs on your shoulder. The world was so cruel.

“I’ll be here when you wake up,” you said, barely above a whisper. Hinata grumbled a nonsense of a response and you chuckled lightly. You fell silent for a long enough period that Hinata began believing you fell asleep before him until you asked, “can I tell you a secret?”

“Yeah,” Hinata yawned, snuggling against your chest. “I love secrets.”

Silence enveloped his apartment again and Hinata almost dozed off.

“I think I’m in love with you.”

He blinked himself back to consciousness while the words rolled over in his mind. He froze. The fast paced rhythm of your heart was the only source available to keep him grounded as his foggy brain worked to unpack your words.

Love?

He glanced up to meet your nervous eyes paired with flushed cheeks. He stared in disbelief while you continued to patiently wait for his reaction. This better not be some sort of fever induced hallucination.

“No one’s ever said that to me before,” he said, eyebrows creased. Aside from his mom and Natsu, obviously, but he figured you’d know what he meant.

The corner of your mouth lifted into a hopeful half-smile. “Well, I’m honored.” Your touch was gentle as you brushed the hair back from his forehead. He subconsciously leaned into your touch with a wondrous stare and his eyes scoured your face for his answer.

Except you were the answer.

“I’ve never been in love before, but…” He struggled for the right words-any words-settling on what he could piece together at the moment. “I feel like things are better when you’re here. Like, I can do anything I hope to and more. I just feel happier when I’m with you and it’s easier and everything makes sense…” He wrinkled his nose. “Is… is that love?”

You cradled his fevered cheeks tenderly. “I think that’s for you to decide Hinata.”

He nodded to himself. “Okay,” he said determinedly. “Then yeah. It is, I love you, (Y/N).”

“I’m glad,” you smiled, looking at him with an affectionate stare that set his heart ablaze. He took a deep breath before disappointedly letting his forehead drop to your chest.

“Fuck, I want to kiss you so bad.”

You let out a bubble of laughter, rubbing your thumbs tenderly against his cheeks. “We’ll make up for it plenty when you’re feeling better.”

He tried to hold back a smirk, but failed. “Fine.”

“Now go to sleep,” You ordered, planting a quick peck to the top of his head.

He grumbled half-assed as he situated himself more comfortably, but Hinata was all talk at this point. His eyelids were heavy with sleep and his heart hummed with contentment. He was in love. A smile dusted his lips as he began drifting off.

Maybe being sick wasn’t so bad after all.

*******************************************************************************************

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously at your boyfriend across the couch chowing down on take-out sushi. Hinata’s eyes were glued to the television’s screen, his hand alternating between shoveling food into his mouth and rubbing mindless circles on your shin across his lap. Things were comfortable, easy, perfect some might even say.

Too perfect.

“Why aren’t we fighting?”

Hinata turned, cheeks stuffed with food and eyebrows raised with surprise. Under normal circumstances you’d consider it adorable, but you wanted to be serious.

He swallowed with a wince before raising an eyebrow. “Did something happen?”

“No, but we’ve been dating for a while and we haven’t had the big fight.”

“We fight all the time,” he placed his plate on the coffee table with a roll of his eyes. You huffed because he clearly wasn’t on the same page. “Just yesterday I was pissed because you left an empty container of milk in my fridge.”

“It wasn’t empty.”

“There was a dribble. That’s not enough for-” He put up a hand and took a breath. “Not the point. Point is: we fought right?”

“That was hardly a discussion.” You waved him off. He had angrily brought it up, you kissed him sorry, and he forgave you. Hinata didn’t know how to hold a grudge and all you had to do was buy him more milk.

“Okay, a few weeks ago then. You fell in the toilet because I forgot to put the seat down.” He nodded confidently. “You woke me up in the middle of the night for that one.”

You shuddered at the memory of being shocked into full consciousness by falling into a pool of your own piss. In your shocked state you may have chosen violence and decided to pick a fight with Hinata at three in the morning, but it was well deserved.

“Okay, but that’s not what I mean.”

“Are you sure?” He raised a brow. “Waking up with my girlfriend on top of me and slowly realizing she’s threatening to end my bloodline kind of feels like a fight.”

“Okay, that’s-” You pinched the bridge of your nose and ignored his amused smirk. “I’m talking about relationship ruining fights.”

He tilted his head, clearly not following you.

“Like, you insult me using some secret I’ve only divulged to you and I leave crying with no self-esteem.” You explained with exaggerated hand gestures and his nose wrinkled. “Or I walk in on you having an explicit affair with Kageyama, or maybe you get drunk and I over hear you talking with-”

He put both his hands up, “back it up. What the hell was that last one?”

“An explicit affair?” You blinked a few times and cocked your head to the side. “With… Kageyama?”

“Yeah that’s what I-we’re gonna unpack that later.” He palmed his eyes and took a deep breath. “Anyway, why would any of this happen?”

“Because that’s what always happens.” You answered honestly. Maybe you sounded like a pessimist, but that was just the reality of the world. At least, you had never seen it work any other way. “So just… tell me how it’s going to happen.”

Hinata looked crestfallen at your statement and the dejected look in his eyes made your heart sink to your stomach. You closed your eyes, waiting for him to question your sanity, but was taken back when he crawled forward to rest his head on your chest.

“If I ever hurt you like that,” he mouthed against your collarbone. “I would never forgive myself.”

Your heart raced and you brought a hand to card through his unruly locks, nodding to acknowledge his words.

“Don’t overthink,” he said, kissing your neck softly. “If we’re good then we’re good. Maybe that’s just how it’s meant to be.”

Your lips curved into a small smile and you nodded again. You let yourselves just exist with him for a while. Heart’s beating in unison while you twirled tufts of autumn through your fingers. His lips dusting across your neck as he whispered loving affirmations against you. And maybe he was right.

Maybe it was just meant to be.

*******************************************************************************************

Hinata moved expertly around his kitchen preparing breakfast, sneaking glancing at you perched drowsily beside the stove adorning one of his larger shirts. Obviously it wasn’t the first time he’d seen you like that-hair mussed, eyes heavy with sleep, in only his clothes-but it still warmed his heart when you existed so casually in space. Like you belonged there.

His lips curved into a smile as he cracked several eggs into a heated frying pan. The dull thudding of your heels hitting a cupboard mixed with the sizzling on the pan for the background of your comfortable silence. Even without conversation his life felt brighter in your presence and he was thankful his apartment was such a convenient location for the both of you.

You yawned deeply, rubbing the sleep from your eyes and finally focusing on him. Hinata selfishly wished you could be with him more often. The days he woke up without you were the coldest.

“What are you staring at?” You slurred with another yawn.

Hinata shot you a lopsided grin, “my beautiful girlfriend.”

You side-eyed him with an amused smirk, “kiss ass.”

Hinata slid the eggs onto a couple plates before going to stand in front of you. You raised a curious brow, but weren’t given enough time to voice a question before he pressed his lips to yours. His mouth curved into a smile against yours-another reason he loved you being here so often was it meant more of this.

Your hands cradled his face as he appreciated that you still tasted like mint from his borrowed toothpaste this morning. Another subtle way he’d nudged himself into your life he realized, toying with the bottom of his shirt you were wearing.

“What’s this for?” You asked, sliding your hands over his shoulders and hooking them behind his neck.

“I just love you,” he replied earnestly. Your fingers laid a scorching touch as they teased the baby hairs on his neck, sending a shiver down his spine. Hinata took his time with languid kisses-he could kiss you a million times and the hunger for more would always linger.

Your breaths were heavy when you pulled back to place your forehead against his, eyeing him with pure affection that set his heart ablaze. “I love you too, Shoyo.”

He trailed his knuckles down your cheek and relished in the way you leaned into his touch. How had he gotten this luck? Hinata placed a tender kiss on your forehead, temple, cheekbone, tip of your nose, and finally on your lips.

“You should move in.”

Hinata’s eyes widened in shock at his own question because that had been the last thing he’d planned on doing this morning. Well, the suggestion was out there and it’s not like he wanted to take it back...

You blinked several times as you processed. “With you?”

“Ideally.”

You furrowed your brow while mulling it over and Hinata counted his heartbeats to stay grounded. Worst case scenario you say no and things are awkward for a bit. Best case scenario he takes a large step forward with the love of his life.

Oh god, he should’ve planned this better.

“Okay.”

“I understand,” Hinata sighed. “It was totally random and I shouldn’t have expected-did you say yes?”

“Yeah,” your cheeks flushed and you bit your bottom lip to fight down a smile. “I mean, I’m here most of the time anyway, right?”

Hinata nodded mindlessly before a face splitting grin covered his features and he scooped you off the corner. You squealed while he spun you around with a bright laugh, interrupting any of your comments with a passionate kiss. While you were busy tangling your fingers into his unruly hair he glanced toward his bedroom’s door.

There was probably enough time to celebrate.

*******************************************************************************************

“She’s beautiful,” you said in awe, cradling the swaddled newborn in your arms. She was sleeping soundly, tiny breaths leaving her partly open mouth. The baby looked too fragile for this world, features too small and delicate to be realistic.

She was amazing.

“Well, she’s our daughter,” Tanaka’s chest puffed up proudly. He sat beside Shimizu on her hospital bed with an arm hung loosely around her. “Obviously she’s going to be perfect.”

You wouldn’t fight his dramatics; he deserved to be happy today.

“What’s her name?” Hinata breathed. Seated beside you he leaned heavily against your side to observe the baby.

“Sayori,” Shimizu yawned. She and Tanaka had deep bruises under their eyes, and you smirked knowingly down at the sleeping demon in disguise.

Hinata hesitantly moved his hand toward Sayori before planting it back on his lap. You raised a brow, reaching over with the hand not helping cradle Sayori’s head and grabbed his forefinger. Hinata looked at you panicked, but relaxed as you guided him toward Sayori’s small fist that pressed gently against her pink cheeks.

When she instinctively wrapped her fingers around his forefinger his eyes widened and he whipped his gaze to you. “She grabbed my finger,” he whispered.

“They do that,” you smirked, a frenzy of butterflies attacking your stomach as he stared at Sayori wondrously.

“That’s amazing.”

“Okay, stop using my kid as a way to feed your baby fever.” Tanaka huffed. Shimizu elbowed him in the stomach and a warmth trickled up your face when his words hit you.

“What’s a baby fever?” Hinata asked, raising an eyebrow at you. “Is it dangerous?”

“No,” you stumbled over a reply that wouldn’t make the situation incredibly awkward. “It’s when you, uh, want kids.”

“Oh,” Hinata shrugged, bouncing his finger to play with Sayori’s hand. “What’s wrong with eventually wanting kids?”

“That’s not-”

“No, it means you want a kid now.” Tanaka emphasized by smacking the hospital bed. “Like, go home immediately and make a baby level now.”

Hinata blinked a few times before his face lit up red, “oh.”

You nodded awkwardly and both of you remained quiet while Shimizu chastised Tanaka in the background. One of you should probably deny the baby fever thing… right? You glanced over to Hinata, but his eyebrows were furrowed as he stared intently at Sayori.

“Okay, Sayori needs to eat soon, so I’m kicking Hinata out.” Tanaka announced.

Hinata didn’t put up any fights and you passed Sayori back to Shimizu, making plans to see each other again soon. You offered your services for future babysitting with Hinata’s vigorous agreeing behind you and they were more than grateful for it. Regardless Tanaka shooed you out when Sayori began wriggling in Shimizu’s arms.

As you and Hinata made your way to the metro that would bring you to your apartment complex the air between you was heavy. An obvious awkwardness that was harder to ignore the longer you walked together.

“I’m not surprised their baby ended up looking so cute,” you laughed, filling the space with nervous chatter. “Shimizu is really pretty.”

He nodded, looking up at the cloudless sky thoughtfully. “Do you think our baby would be cute?”

Your heart rate quickened at the idea. It wasn’t like you’d never thought of it, but talking about it outloud was a completely different monster. “I think it would have pretty great genes.”

He nodded, furrowing his brow at the sidewalk ahead.

Hinata wasn’t an idiot. Neither of you were ready for something like that. Several nights ago you’d decided to get drunk and attempt making meat buns-you’d nearly set the kitchen on fire. That doesn’t scream parent material.

On a larger scale, Hinata had just been selected for Japan’s Olympic team. There just wasn’t time for something like that. No, a baby wasn’t realistic.

However...

“What’s our apartment’s pet policy?”

He turned to you with a raised brow, “probably an extra fee and a weight limit. Why?”

You smirked mischievously at him, “want to get a dog?”

His jaw dropped. “Oh my fu-can I name it?”

“Only if I get to pick the breed.”

“Well then, what are you waiting for?” Hinata grasped your hand and yanked you toward the closest metro station. “Look up the closest pet store and let’s go!”

You chuckled, allowing him to pull you toward a random station that probably wouldn’t lead you where you needed. It would work out in the end. Things always seemed to fall perfectly into place with HInata.

*******************************************************************************************

Hinata glared across the roll of wrapping paper at the small puppy crushing the end of the tube, tearing edges of red and white striped paper with its sharp teeth. Hinata tugged it out of the pup’s mouth, but that only encouraged the behavior as it leapt forward to chew with more vigor.

“Can you grab your son?” Hinata waved the roll around, letting the Shiba Inu chase the end that Hinata held just out of reach. “He’s making this more difficult than it needs to be.”

You paused your typing at the dining table and giggled at Hinata’s antics. After closing the laptop you jogged over to scoop the puppy up, flipping him over in your arms to rub its belly. The puppy let its tongue hang out and wagged its tail vigorously at the attention.

“Oh, Deku, are you giving your dad a hard time,” you cooed down at the puppy, lifting him to look him in the eyes with a furrowed brow. “That’s not very nice.”

Hinata rolled his eyes fondly at your pathetic attempt of scolding while Deku licked you on the nose. Just several months old and he already knew how to manipulate people with his cuteness.

“I bought our bullet train tickets,” you said while nudging him the roll of tape he’d started looking around for. “Natsu called me earlier. We decided that you and I should get there around 3.”

Hinata tore a piece of tape off with his teeth while he held the wrapping paper still around the boxed pair of rollerskates with his foot.

“We have to stop by Tanaka’s place before we head out,” Hinata wrinkled his nose at his poor wrapping job. “Noya’s visiting for a while and he wants to meet Deku.”

“Of course,” you smiled as you held a chew toy above Deku’s face so he could nibble on it in your lap. “We have some presents for Sayori, anyway.”

Oh yeah. You had split the present wrapping in terms of difficulty, so you had the pleasure of wrapping weirdly shaped toys while he was left with boxes. Somehow, his still turned out to be a disaster.

He could hear Natsu’s complaints already.

“The train doesn’t leave till one, so we should have plenty of time.” You stated once Hinata taped the final present, completing his small present tower. Deku wriggled himself free from your grip and immediately attacked the empty wrapping paper roll.

Hinata smiled absentmindedly as he watched Deku hold the tube still with his small paws as he gnawed the cardboard. He felt you crawl over, lying your head onto his lap as your eyes followed his to watch your dog-son together. He felt at peace, running his fingers through your hair while Deku wreaked mischief nearby.

He felt like he could never get happier than this, and he never wanted it to end.

“He really is a troublemaker,” you snorted as Deku dragged the tube across the living room proudly. “Gets it from you.”

Hinata rolled his eyes and pinched your cheek. “It’s because you let him do whatever he wants.”

“Do not!”

He chuckled, taking his time tracing your features. The curve of your cheekbones, the dip of your lips, the bridge of your nose-everything he’d kissed into his memory by now but still couldn’t get enough of.

Hinata’s heart burned bright as he ran his knuckles along your cheek, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” You smiled softly, leaning subconsciously into his touch.

“I mean… I really love you, (Y/N).” Hinata grabbed your hand and brought it to his lips. “I think this is it.”

You met his stare for several moments before your cheeks reddened. “Oh.”

Hinata nodded, pressing a loving kiss to the back of your hand. “I just-I always want you with me and if it’s not you in the end then… then what’s the point?”

Your mouth fell slightly open and he felt your hand flex in his grasp. He assumed he made a mistake-said too much too fast-but his chest was so warm and full and it was hard to reign in his emotions when he got that way.

A smile blossomed across your face and it eased his anxieties when you held his cheek. “You’re it for me too, Sho.”

He blinked several times as the words rolled over in his mind. “Wha-really?” He twisted himself so he could look you in the eyes, begging for you to be telling the truth.

You nodded shyly, your face crimson. “Yeah. You have been. I’m not… I don’t think I’d be able to love anyone else ever again.”

It felt like he’d been hit by a train at your confession and he pressed his mouth against yours before he’d even processed the statement. Your content hum against his lips was enough to drive him insane.

“Well, I’m going to love you forever.” Hinata promised with a dopey smile. “So don’t even think about that.”

You snorted, but nodded anyway. Hinata glanced down at your lips again with hooded eyes and started leaning forward, but was rudely interrupted by a damp cardboard tube hitting his forehead.

He glanced up exhaustedly at the Shiba Inu puppy panting obliviously at the both of you, waiting patiently for the love and attention he knew he deserved. You pushed Hinata off to grab Deku, but he jumped into a play bow and jolted back when you reached for him.

Hinata smiled dazedly as you chased Deku around the apartment, juking around furniture to attempt to throw the puppy off-course. He had never felt so complete than he had in that moment because he realized that this was it for him.

It was you. It was him. It was a troublemaker dog. And it was a promise that you’d be together forever.

And that was pretty damn perfect.

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