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kukuandkookie · 7 months ago

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Because I’m…temporarily…not really active on my Twitter anymore and I’m still waffling on getting a Bluesky, both due to anxiety, I’ll just throw this thought out here lol:

The 188男团 taking over my brain has made me crave fanfiction in a way I admittedly don’t usually. 😆

If I were to guess, it’s because when a story is so angsty and sad in canon, it makes me crave post-canon fluff all the more. And I have found some absolutely lovely fics on Ao3, Lofter, and Weibo!! 99% of them have been in Chinese and I need a translator to help me read them, but I still love them so much.

But I will say there is a specific brand of “freaky” on Ao3 that doesn’t appear anywhere else, which…makes sense haha (it’s because of censorship LSNGKSHS). Weibo fic authors do sometimes throw out some freaky nsfw stuff too, usually by including a link to a different site or asking fans to dm them, but…Ao3 is where people may go to like…really let off steam.

I think that’s totally fine! I’m of the firm mindset that people should be allowed to enjoy whatever fiction they want, as long as it’s not hurting anyone in real life (the fact I’m obsessing over the 188男团 which is famously toxic may show that lmfao). But I’m not writing this to get into pro-ship versus anti discourse here. x’D

I’m writing this because I swear I’m technically a multi-shipper so I can be chill about breaking ships up (although I do prefer following canon) and I also know sometimes fanfics are just written to scratch an itch, but…

Why am I filled with such…banal frustration over the 188男团 characters being mischaracterized and having canonical ships broken up in an OOC way just to get some freaky sex (often with multiple people)? 😂

I’ll get into the main reason later, but I guess part of it could be that there’s shockingly few fics on Ao3 for Lijian and Yubai despite Lijian being so popular in China, so when a lot of the fics in the novel tag actually break up the main ship, it is a bit painful for me SLFJKSDH.

In reality, I know it’s not a big deal, and I’m totally cool with letting people play in their sandbox haha. And obviously I don’t harass writers for writing something I didn’t vibe with, and I avoid fics that make me uncomfortable.

But still. I have read a couple because sometimes tagging isn’t done perfectly in Chinese on Ao3 (I don’t blame them; language barrier and it’s often an unfamiliar website to them and all that, I get it), so sometimes I check one out when I want to get a feel for a fic…

And that’s why I’m emphasizing it’s a banal frustration—I know that in the grand scheme of things, this doesn’t matter. 😆

Regardless, I read a couple fics where they had Yu Fengcheng top Li Yu and it’s just like…they would not do that—let alone in that way—guys LDGMSHSKS.

I can kind of get people wanting Li Yu to be dicked down for his arrogance and temper, but seeing him being turned into a coquettish mess in fics where he bottoms is killing me a little haha. And Yu Fengcheng, who is my favourite 188男团 gong so far, being shown as disloyal to Bai Xinyu kills me a bit more because…he loves Bai Xinyu so much. He wouldn’t just abandon Bai Xinyu like that because he’s horny. 😭

In fact, every 188 gong is like this so they’re all possessive of and obsessed with their partners, but also…Yu Fengcheng has this specific brand of disliking sharing and even this sense of “mysophobia” where, before he even realized he was in love with Bai Xinyu, he already didn’t want Bai Xinyu or himself to touch anyone else.

And he is such a determined person when he tries to win Bai Xinyu back, and unlike other 188 gongs (that I’ve read so far), he never blames Bai Xinyu for disdaining him even though the ultimate thing that broke them up wasn’t fully Yu Fengcheng’s fault, and he hated being away from Bai Xinyu so much that he chose to be tortured closer to Bai Xinyu and he’d even feel a masochistic pleasure seeing Bai Xinyu spurn him, all because he didn’t want to be apart from him.

So what I’m saying is!! I like Yu Fengcheng a lot so obviously I’m biased, but seriously, he’d be one of the last people to leave his partner to fuck his “saozi (sister-in-law)” just because they’re pretty LSNGKSHSH.

My feelings are strong enough I do have a fic idea for this lmfao where Lijian and Yubai are shopping and while holding their partners’ bags, Yu Fengcheng and Li Yu get mistaken for being a couple, much to their chagrin. Bai Xinyu would find it funny, which would annoy Yu Fengcheng a bit, and with his shamelessness, he’d show everyone there that Bai Xinyu is his wife. And Li Yu wouldn’t want to be upstaged despite his own embarrassment at doing anything inappropriate publicly, especially when his Jian-ge may misunderstand and get upset. 😂

And yes, I do have (quite a few) Lijian and Yubai fic ideas. My obsession has officially run that deep lol. I just haven’t been in the mood to write lately due to kind of depression, but I’m hoping to pick myself back up soon.

Anyway, ending this little ramble with another “yeah, I know, it’s really not that big of a deal” (we do see a lot of jokes about this and how much pain super OOC fics and headcanons can bring us, but tbh I fault OOC headcanons and analyses more than I fault OOC fics, since the former can “damage” fandom perception of a character or theme in a more direct way. Overall though, it’s obviously not that important and I just wanted to mumble a bit about it here to get my thoughts out).

#188男团 #what is the point of this post?#idk it’s just one of those things where sometimes I think about a thing and want to put it into words lol #feel free to ignore it 🙏#I actually have so many other thoughts about the 188 specifically #mostly for Lijian and Yubai which borders more on rambles of personal character analysis etc #but a lot of them have to be reorganized and rewritten #and in today’s climate I’m honestly not sure where I should post them anymore 😆

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lobstermatriarch · 6 months ago

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🎶🌅⛔️?

🎶 do you write with music? does the music you’re listening to influence your writing?

Yes absolutely!! I have playlists I put together to hype up for writing/get inspired, but for the actual writing process I’ll put on ambient music that fits the tone I want.

(Fun fact, this is how the bg3, gone girl, and silent hill soundtracks ended up taking up so much space on my wrapped this year)

🌅 do you typically know the ending to something before you start writing it?

HARD YES. I’ll always start with a kind of base outline, and while it tends to evolve over time (Come Down was supposed to be a one shot and then the first outline was for 14 chapters), I usually stick pretty faithfully to the endings I had planned. It helps me keep the narrative consistent and motivates me to keep going with a story even if things are feeling rough.

⛔️ whats something you try to avoid in your work?

In terms of content… honestly there isn’t that much. Maybe picket-fence type stuff? I’m personally not big on weddings or kids as an ending in themselves. That said I do have a soft spot for found families taking in stray children (cough cough my fallout 4 series).

In terms of writing, the biggest thing is mischaracterization. I never never NEVER want to flatten out a complex character, and I don't want to force out of character behavior for the sake of drama or romance or anything else.

writing ask game

#thank youuu <3 #ask game #lobstermatriarch's writing

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hexiquin · 7 months ago

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I’m giving to much information I have to reblog this (don’t really mind if you show my url wince it really isn’t connected to a lot of stuff) so here we go father strange!

My credentials are that I’ve been fic reading for 13 years and omegaverse specifically for around 10-11 years give or take a couple of months. I’ve written omegaverse fics also!

Answers are under the cut! (For the sake of my poor mutuals)

What fandom introduced you to omegaverse?

It was probably hetalia or big time rush don’t fully remember, all I know for certain is that it was on fanfiction net and not ao3 (I know this cause when I was starting to use ao3 for reading I was very confused by them using ‘a/b/o dynamics’ and not ‘omegaverse’)

What trends and developments have you noticed as the genre has grown over the past 14-ish years?

A larger diversity of genitals (when I first started reading it was a lot of anal but now there is a lot of differences in the privates between fics even by the same author, which I think is pretty cool). And the subversion of alphas on top (sexually or socially) and making them more equal or even lesser than omegas. More people’s adding world building elements like different types of birth control for the different secondary sexes. Just more people in general being very different when they write the specifics of the story’s omegaverse (but honestly that was probably always there)

Also, a lot less werewolf stuff! I used to see a lot of werewolf AUs with omegaverse and vice versa but now they don’t seem all that intertwined (unless you’re fandom has a lot of werewolf content already). They still have a lot of the animalistic stuff in there in a lot of fics but not as much werewolf AU with it

what initially intrigued you about it?

It was a long time ago, but judging by how I probably got into it, it was probably the Mpreg. (Also, I realized that a lot of the tropes and stuff I like are in a lot of omegaverse later in life, so that and the world building is what has kept me)

Are there similar genres, tropes, etc, that you also enjoy? (ie. werewolf or other supernatural romance, science fiction which explores alternative biology) basically, how does omegaverse fit into your wider literary tastes?

I like supernatural stuff, mostly manga or horror adjacent like stuff but not usually romance (sometimes I read some monster x human stuff if I’m in a mood and it’s interesting)

what do enjoy most about it?

When reading or writing, I really like how they (or myself) incorporate omegaverse into the setting and/or plot. Even if it’s just a smut fic, I like fics that have all the ‘cringy’ tropes like heats/ruts, mating bites, going feral, purring, and other stuff like that (but not ‘omega self thinks-‘ or the animal traits overrule any human thoughts/actions if the character wouldn’t want to do or think that) I just like all those tropes, really makes it feel like it’s omegaverse and scratches my brain real good. I also like when the world is explored and how male omegas and female alphas deal with their lives/roles!

(TLDR I like some traditional tropes for smut, and exploration of the world for long fics)

what are some elements you avoid or are critical of?

Gender essentialism- I see this only with the m/m fics (all the f/f fics I’ve read don’t seem to do this or choose characters that fit better for ‘fem=omegas & masc=alphas’ at least). This doesn’t happen a lot, but when I see a male character go be hella fem as an omega when they aren’t really in canon…it just feels wrong. Omegas being 50s housewives without it being specific to their society (like this is how they’re socialized or it’s for commentary on gender roles) or being because it’s in character for that character, it just feels so wrong and weird to me. Like no exploration in gender, sex, or how this effects the setting, it’s very ‘all girls like the color pink and all men want is sex’ vibes. Like that isn’t my blorbo anymore, that is a oc at best, or mischaracterization at worst.

Omegaverse but not everyone has a secondary sex but everyone is human- Like, omegaverse exists but not for everyone and it feels weird to me cause most of the time, people with secondary sexes and those without can have children together but then the author won’t do anything with this concept. Like no reason for some of them having it or how that affects the world, just ‘not all human have a secondary sex and we aren’t focusing on that’. And they’re usually in long fics!

And to play off my last point, and really I’m fine even if it’s not a big part of the story honestly, but not using omegaverse tropes feels like you don’t want to write omegaverse. Like I hate when they make omegas ultra cutesy born yesterday babies, or alphas into macho manly toxic controlling boyfriends and not including women, or flat out ignoring and looking down on betas as much as the next guy, but not having any tropes feels like we did not want to write omegaverse in the first place. Like why is the omegaverse in the tags if you’re not gonna use the omegaverse? I’m like dr doofenshmirtz when he sees perry without his hat when I see an omegaverse smut that doesn’t have even a little bit of omegaverse tropes. Even I use those tropes I talked about earlier in my fics’ plots or explore how omegaverse works in the world building even a little bit!

Also hating on omegaverse tropes publicly in the fic tags is just so unnecessarily mean. Like I know you don’t want Mpreg, but you don’t need to go into the tags and write about you feel like it’s weird (this hasn’t happened more than a handful of times but those tags are still burned into my brain)

Any specifics or nuances you want the non-omegaverse reading public to know about

It can be very good way to explore gender. Like I’ve read a couple of fics that explore gender roles by having the omega be the more masculine or buff alpha male in the canon and how it’s ok for them to be both a super buff guy and also want to be treated like a princess or how it’s ok for them not not be feminine but still be considered omega enough. Many male omegas wear feminine clothing but are still considered male. And like having a cock or vagina don’t equal male or female, it just means you have a cock or vagina.

also just cause it’s kinda ‘cringe’ doesn’t mean you have to be mean about it (curse you fandom tiktokers that make it seem like everything that you don’t like but is properly tagged/warned and isn’t hurting any irl people is bad!)

Can’t wait to watch your video Father Strange!

(Also sorry if anything sounded contradictory, I find explaining my feelings pretty hard)

Omegaverse readers & writers!! I want to hear from you!!!

Firstly — Yes — I have already done a lot of research. I don’t need the basics explained to me or the fact that it is an incredibly diverse genre with examples good writing, bad writing, good social commentary, bad social commentary, expansive thoughtful worldbulding, raunchy porn without plot, and everything in between.

What I’m looking for with this post is personal experiences and opinions from people who read/ write this content since I am not one. Feel free to link any fics that exemplify what you’re talking about.

you can write as much or as little as you like, answer as many or as few of the questions as you like:

What fandom introduced you to omegaverse?

What trends and developments have you noticed as the genre has grown over the past 14-ish years?

what initially intrigued you about it?

what do enjoy most about it?

what are some elements you avoid or are critical of?

Any specifics or nuances you want the non-omegaverse reading public to know about

In case anyone is coming across this post without knowing who i am — Hi! I’m a youtuber and I make videos about online subculture, fandom, and such.

Your comment on this post may be read aloud in an upcoming video!! Please specify if you would like me to censor your url or leave it visible.

#omegaverse #hexi posting #i put to much in my reblog not to use that tag

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padmsanakin · 4 years ago

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here is my ted talk oop.

anakin’s the type who wants to save everyone and he thinks he needs power to do that. like after losing his mother which he blames on himself for and he himself and his love wasn’t enough and thus, the idea of the need to be powerful so he can save everyone. anakin always had a fear of loss even from the start because he knows he will be ripped apart from his mother way too soon because of slave auctions or whatever.

anakin is a good child but his deference is one of the biggest problems. about his dreams of his mother , if he had listened to his moral code to save her, she wouldn’t have died. instead, he listened to the Jedi against his moral code this leading to it. all his life he has always been subordinate to others. that is why it is so easy for palpatine to manipulate him and turn into vader against his better judgment because of his deference.

his anger and hatred is a direct result from his childhood; he resents slavers and all whatever is wrong in the world. He sees all the atrocities and tries his best to say it and thus, his comment in aotc because he wants the suffering to stop but he’s still painfully naïve and foolish that he doesn’t know any better.

anakin’s self hatred is so powerful and is what fuels him as vader. he’s selfish; he is too busy thinking about himself and his pity that he doesn’t care about whatever is going around and subordinates himself to palpatine. he doesn’t have the right coping methods to deal with his feelings thus his outbursts and lashing out as shown in the tusken massacre.

padmé is merely a catalyst to his fall tbh. his love isn’t the reason why he fell but the result of manipulation and grooming for 10+ years. he’s isolated and ostracised by his peers and Jedi that he only sees palpatine, his abuser, as a good person. In the final choice that cements his fall it is him seeing it as this — palpatine his friend mentor and the Jedi who ostracised him and is basically, a hypocrite now.

tbh, palpatine would have done anything to make anakin fall as with Obi-Wan, ahsoka or even some random civilian that he has put his mind to (the clone wars gambit for reference); so I don’t see it as his love but rather how he goes on things — his actions. he’s guillible and naïve and he doesn’t totally understand what is going on. he’s emotionally unstable, confused etc. which is all a huge part to his fall. and, anakin’s loyalty and attachment to palpatine kind of also plays a big role in him choosing the chancellor over master windu. he is too focused on the little details than the greater good/ evil.

anakin easily defers and is obedient but that doesn’t mean he has hubris and arrogance. that he is okay with overriding his moral code because someone whom he sees as important or looks up to asks him to do something, he is totally okay with sacrificing his morals to do that.

eventually, everything he did can be linked to his upbringing.

the tragedy of it all is that anakin is a good, somewhat selfless, compassionate and loving person who got twisted and sinister because of this one man he trusted.

#Star Wars #anakin skywalker #padmé amidala #obi wan kenobi #meta #ani says things #you are allowed to disagree I guess #i usually avoid stuff that mischaracterize characters #biggest offenders being #anakin is not dumb or stupid #he’s intelligent but naive and foolish #hes a child protege for calling out loud #but it is much easier for the fandom to just like disregard all the trauma that build up anakin into what he is i guess #but that’s not excusing it lol it just also shows flaws of other fan favorites #Ah yes speaking of fan favorites #Obi-Wan my dear #I can’t believe they did you like that #Why did they take away everything that makes you human my son my sweetie #I’m so sorry #Yeah please don’t take away obi-wan’s flaws p l e a s e #made windu bruh #why do they just reduce him to an angry man #who hates anakin #But no one bats an eye at yoda who is the one who is like ???#mace windu is more than that #cowards the whole lot of you

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puppywawa · 3 years ago

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Hello everyone !! My name is AD, 18 and my pronouns are she/her!! I am a multi muse, filipino roleplayer/writer!! I am quite new to the rp community in tumblr so please understand that I'm inexperienced. This blog is mostly to find more reigen rp partners who can giggle and ramble with me about serirei Currently, i am into mp100!! i love the anime with all my heart, have finished the manga and currently consuming anything reigen and serizawa related LOL My current muses right now are Serizawa Katsuya and Kageyama Ritsu; I am more experienced with Serizawa but i also do love writing Ritsu! I have a few set of rules i would also like to make as a seperate post but as of right now, i will be writing them here so please take the time to read them in case you ever want to write or just simply chat with me about anything!!

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• Main muses are Serizawa and Ritsu!

• I usually write on discord and prefer to have a server for all the rps. I draw, write and speed out ideas a LOT btw so please be warned. I’m a rambler and I really love Serirei a lot and want to interact with people who love it or just generally love mp100 as much as I do!

• I write mostly romance for adult characters ( between Reigen and Serizawa ) but I can indulge with some Ritshou but I will not write anything nsfw of them; the most I can do for them is soft feelings and pecks but other than that, I am not comfortable writing anything else between the two. I am, however— very indulgent with Serirei ( as long as I can have Serizawa smothering love towards reigen ) and will bend myself for the ship.

• I can word vomit and write long replies a lot- it’s how I usually write so please don’t feel pressured to write the same length as me!! • Via discord rp; PLEASE tell me if I write something that ever makes you uncomfortable- I can edit it out and such, I don’t mind as long as everyone feels safe.

• I’m really biased with Serizawa. I can be ooc with him a bit so please do not attack me if you have any problems with my mischaracterization of him. I am only here to have fun and write, to indulge myself with people.

• I’m also a little bit biased with ships. Im very serirei but I’m open to ideas like dimple x serizawa as long as my rp partner is indulged!

• I have school and responsibilities from my parents so if I don’t answer, I’m probs asleep, working or @ school • Lasty; Dont be shy with interacting with me! I am always happy to make mutuals and friends around here! I would love to answer any questions- either in character or just questions you would want to know about me!! So please dont be shy :D <333 ------

• FOR NSFW STUFF; PLEASE STOP HERE WHEN YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE TOPIC. THANK YOU AGAIN.

• I usually just write doms/tops and I can get pretty hardcore with smut writing— please tell me if there is any kinks or stuff in smut you don’t want to read! I also like dark topics but absolutely no adult/kid. That shit is not allowed in my rp blog. I’m very into some dark serizawa content and such but if that’s not your cup of tea, please avoid the " DARK TOPIC // " tag. • I only write nsfw of characters and ocs; cant do erp via me. I will only do them via discord as I am way too shy to write them publicly. PLEASE NOTE THOUGH that i will not just write on a whim. I will be able to make headcanons and such but i need to get to know you and feel comfortable enough to write it. I do write suggestive content here and there so my tags here will be " NSFW // " in case you ever want to avoid it.

#mob psycho 100 #mob psycho serizawa #reigen arataka #serirei #mob psycho 100 rp #mob psycho 100 roleplay #mp100 rp #mp100 roleplay #AD🍧 || INTRODUCTION #INTRODUCTION #AD🍧 || SELF PROMO #AD🍧 || RULES #SERIZAWA KATSUYA || RAMBLES #OOC ||

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lovee-infected · 5 years ago

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I enjoy reading character analysis to understand them more and I've also noticed that some insert fics are like too exagerated and their personalities are far from the canon twst. I think some writers are just basing their fics to others and and makes conclusion about it and ignore important details or text on their cards?* And as a reader, I do sometimes think that "this" character are like that. Like Vil, being portrayed as narcisstic and beauty obssessed charac, I think he isnt like that and theres more to him than we think. Sorry for the long ask✌️

You're totally valid anon and I see your point, you know while I agree that each idea and interpretation on characters is worthy on its own and no one is bound to having a specific opinion or belief, getting too wild with personal fantasies and ignoring the originals can totally ruin the writing. Characters are often mischaracterized especially in reader insert fics and the most annoying part is that almost everyone is making the same mistakes about him-! Like some of the noticable mistakes would be:

(1) Femininely has nothing to do with Vil's terms of beauty

Oh lord what can I say- It's even against what Vil himself directly said through chapter five and how he cleared his point on male and female equal, and you can tell he is pretty strict about it.

Like did you just forget what he told Epel when he complained that he doesn't want to act like a girl: “a boy getting embarrassed about ‘acting like a girl,’ -- what year is your head stuck in??? did you take a time machine from 100 years ago??”

He doesn't seem to be one to appreciate the concept of labeling beauty as a female-only thing and on the other hand, he doesn't really seem to like the way women can be looked down on while being compared to men either. He seeks equality, and beauty wasn't ever defined as a feminine act in his dictionary; while there are tons of requests asking for: Vil forcing their trans s/o to wear more feminine clothes/ Vil asking their fem! s/o to wear more feminine stuff an look cuter/Vil complimenting s/o's appearance for not being feminine enough/... And literally TONS of requests like this. Please, you're forgetting one the most important parts of his personality, he considers male and female to be equal and it's so hecking important to show that he holds respect for all genders nonetheless.

(2) Vil's maturity is often ignored

Honestly, within all twst characters Vil's maturity on its own really impresses me. From the way he speaks to how serious and sincere he is all I gotta say is this man is waaay different from the way he's charactetized in most of the fics. Idk why but, he's sometimes charactetized as a guy who's ready to boil you alive if you dare touch any of his expensive make up pallettes or eyeshadows. Oh please, Vil isn't an angry child.

Also he often decides to keep his anger in, though you can tell when he's mad by just looking at his face. Clinching fists, trying not to talk and most likely, walking off or asking people to leave him alone until he calms down a bit is most likely his usual way of expressing his anger, but I've seen him being described as a loud, feral figure like Riddle is! Oh god no- Are you just ignoring how calm and collected Vil often tends to be?

(3) What's with the potato fetish?

While it's canon that Vil can sometimes call people around him potato. You may like to know that in some languages, potato is translated as "Apple of the ground", which can be an interesting reason of him using this nickname for people.

Watching Vil call students potatoes can be as entertaining as watching Malleus play with his tamagotchi, but again, it's important to realize that you don't have to only use potato when you're thinking of what Vil might say in a reader insert/situation!

Come on there are hundreds of different statements and sentences you can use other than just 'potatoes' and it'll get boring to read him saying the same nick name over and over in a fic. Good lord of course this isn't the only word he uses in communication so please try to avoid using it too much. This, is NOT the only word that he knows to use! (Seriously though I've seen being used like 6 times in a 500-word drabble)

(4) Please avoid spreading false information about him and his personality

Funny how I'm saying it here, but don't forget that you do not own him! Vil Schoenheit is a property of Disney/ Aniplex and all, which means that no one can certainly decide on his sexuality/ background/ unexplained character details unless it's officially announced.

Why am I saying this? Because some people are seriously going to far! I've seen people attacking others saying that Vil's pronouns are She/Her and not He/ Him like: EXCUSE ME...???

I don't want to get into details explaining how this drama is going but I've got to say something anyway, YOU DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT TO DECIDE ON HIS PRONOUNS! None of us do!

It's totally okay to have your personal preferences on his pronouns or anything else, but you must avoid spreading such information and forcing them on others as long as they aren't confirmed! Please keep your headcanons for yourself and don't confuse the fandom with them. Everyone's free to have their own headcanons but it's never okay to force them on others!

(5) Vil has a LOT to talk about other than just beauty!

Man... sometimes I feel like the fandom is just doing him dirty. Most of the reader inserts, fics , and even Vil memes have something to do with beauty while it's important to try and look through his personality as well instead of just sticking with the beauty aspect.

For example, through the Halloween event, I couldn't be any more surprised when Vil found the crying child who had lost their parents through the crowd and instead of just leaving them to headmaster or asking someone to take care of them he actually started to play with the child and entertrain and confront them on his own! That was probably one of his sweetest moments through the whole game and it really changed my mind about him! It was great to know that Vil as well can have a softer side when it comes to children, just imagine how good this can be used while writing a father AU for him!

His talents on the other hand need to be recognized, for example: his acting skills back in the ghost marriage proved how much of a great actor he can be and this can also give us lots of ideas to use in writings. On the other hand he's much of a celebrity on his own ( Woop- he's also got 2m followers on magicam) which gives us another great plot to write for him.

The way he is around close friends, how he compliments them and gets complimented by them in return, the way he manages Pomefiore and tries to put the students into doing their best in using their skills and lots of more interesting details that can be found through his stories are there to tell you that he's a lot more than just a beautiful Queen. A considerable part of his background as well is going to be released at he end of chapter 5 (Yes baby after the overblot Vil) and I hope that gives us all the opportunity to come up with stronger personalities and plots next time that we're describing or even, characterizing Vil!

Lmao I kind of rushed to finish this so I didn't get to talk about him as much as I wanted to, but hope that this is useful anyway.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst x reader #twisted Wonderland x reader #character analysis #vil Schoenheit #vil Schoenheit x reader

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lightlycareless · 2 years ago

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Chapter 29 - thoughts.

Hey everyone! Back again with some behind-the-scenes from the latest chapter, chapter 29! (Which I totally recommend reading over here before diving into this post if you want to avoid spoilers, or out-of-context spoilers, that is 🤭)

Just a reminder, this is something extra to the chapters, and not really necessary. So if you don’t want to read it, it’s completely fine ❤

Per usual, here are the warnings: not proofread, everything is candid here lmao and spoilers!!

Now, without further ado, on to the notes:

I don’t think I’ve mentioned this before, but writing the part where the characters are finally starting to move on from certain important events, the “after the storm comes the calm” in a way is always so… difficult to me. Like, wow, all that stuff happened and the characters have to be like “ah, well, this is just another typical tuesday my friends! On we go with our lives!” it’s so… baffling and difficult for me to write down, I feel as if I were rushing through things, but at the same time, if I let them ruminating in the aftermath of these successions I’ll never finish the story 😂 So I apologize if some things seem to be a bit… weird with the pacing 😭

Good thing I made Y/N notice that too 😂 (that was kind of writing a jab at me) Well, it was only natural that the characters would grow some kind of resistance to these things, after all, they already survived through the difficult part, guess the rest should be somewhat easier….

Anyways :> Even when I already had the basic plotline of what I wanted to portray in this chapter (or for the rest of the story, that is haha) I still had some difficulties writing it down, so in the end, I decided to set it as some kind of continuation from the last one and expand on what the estate was thinking of the whole Y/N-Naoya-Naobito situation, but from a closer perspective, that is, from the “masters”: Jinichi, Ogi, Naobito, and finally, Junko—all whom I didn’t specify before.

I kept Jinichi’s somewhat kind personality per the extras in volume 17, although it’s clear that Y/N is still hesitant about him haha and I get it. He’s quite intimidating, just like his brother 😂 (I can’t wait to advance the story a bit more to write down what I had planned for him in the story vs what actually ended up happening) and he’s like part of the main branch, you know? Y/N doesn’t want to intermingle with them any more than she has to.

But he’s trying, I’ll give him that. Misunderstood for certain, I just hope Gege doesn’t put anything out there regarding him that will have me 💀 anyways, it was hilarious for me to read how Y/N was basically “Uh, I… remind you of someone everyone hates?” but on a larger scale, I guess it makes sense. Most people in the estate (even though some started to like her) dislike her too hahah—still, Toji got the short end of the stick :’( I wonder what their relationship would’ve been…

From there, Ogi and Junko.

Junko is, without a question, one of my favorite characters from the Zen’in family. I just… I don’t know, I have a thing for mother’s who were put through hell and yet, still loved their children despite what their environment was pushing them to. It accurately represents trauma and how it affects people. I just wish some readers of the manga would see that 😂 it still baffles me to see how mischaracterized she was… and how little we got from her in the manga! I truly believe Maki was cursed by Mai when she told her to destroy everything. (There’s so many things I want to know, but that’s for another time)

Now, Junko having her “change of heart” was something that made me sad, ngl. She was slowly opening up to Y/N, mainly because of the fondness she was showing to her daughters… but nooooo Ogi and to come along and ruin everything, per usual.

I tried to state that Junko is… well, nothing more than a victim in this house and that most of the things she’s doing while in the estate is a replication of what’s expected of her. More likely than not she probably would’ve kept quiet about it, since it’s not her business to comment on what happens with the masters or what they decide to do (the main reason as to why she kept quiet about Naoaki, even though she was highly disapproving of) yet, she knew that her duty to Y/N and whatever mistake she committed was going to be a direct reflection of her, and her husband, so it’s why she decided to start acting horribly towards her.

I really, really, hate writing (or even implying) just how abusive Ogi really is towards Junko. It might’ve not been stated in the manga, but I feel that given the context we were provided around Ogi’s point of view regarding his daughters (how quick he was to attack Mai, and subsequently Maki), and the misogynistic environment, that couldn’t be too far fetched. Adding that unfortunately, it’s something that happens alot in real life with marriages that well, I don’t know, were forced to happen, and with Junko, coming from a traditional family, she couldn’t do anything but take it and act as she’s expected… yeah. It’s self explanatory.

(To believe that Ogi is out there, believing he’s carrying all of the burdens… Come on sir—guess delusion truly runs in the family.)

I can’t imagine what Mai and Maki were put through when they were younger, having to see their mother suffer in silence… I wish Gege would’ve told us more of their dynamic instead of giving us that rushed interpretation of a complex relationship between mother and daughter’s 💀 But I’m here to fill the voids agjakjsghaskjghjas

Still, I can’t stay that angry at Ogi, after all, I do have something planned for him :)

But let’s move to another topic:

HITOMI AND NAOHIKO!!

Ok, now that is something most of you did not expect (if not all, let’s be real, not even I expected it!) It kind of just dawned on me one day as I was looking through past character ask’s, stumbling into the “nicknames they would like”.

I stated that Naohiko would like to be called a brat (in a very specific context) and it made me wonder, well, who would dare call him something like that?

That’s where the serious, no-nonsense, Hitomi came along. She’s already demonstrated that she’s not afraid of standing up and calling out bs when it happens (Chapter 12, when Naoya is questioning the ladies if Y/N hadn’t done something personally to affect her health and Hitomi was like: NO, with Mariya immediately dismissing her to avoid worsening the already tense situation lol) so I thought: “Oh yeah, definitely. If someone were to put others back in their place, it would be her”

I’m planning on writing how the first meeting between Naohiko and Hitomi went 🤭 had the draft there for a while now, just need to polish it.

Guess we’ll see where this goes as the story progresses :>

From there, the parts that I didn’t like writing because it just felt straight-up silly, and that is, when Hitomi, Haruko, Mariya, and Y/N are basically planning how to avoid Naoya and his weird plan.

Writing them so… hastily trying to save Y/N from another sour predicament just made me feel bad for them 😂 as if whatever they did, it would never work because Naoya is just too big of a force to avoid, and I guess Mariya knew that too, that’s why she didn’t argue with Y/N that much when she voiced her change of plans.

I just wish for them to have a moment of peace 😭 please, Naoya… just leave them alone.

The other person that knew this, and if I’m being honest perhaps the person that was being more “sensible” about it was Naoaki, because even if Y/N wanted to escape her husband, he was just going to find another way to bring her along. At least this way she’ll be able to find out how her health has been faring… if that’s what Naoya truly intends in doing, anyways.

Ah… Naoaki saying that he would’ve taken her if he could is just 🥺 AND THAT KISSING SCENE AT THE BEGINNING AAAAAAHHAH guess something really is brewing between the two, and we got front seats for it 🤭 just like Hitomi and Naohiko, I wonder where this will go… Imagine the kind of face Naoya would have if he’d seen them??? He would’ve lost it that’s for sure!!

And finally… Ranta’s plan.

Reading y’all’s theories was certainly… interesting. I like how we basically gave up on any kind of logic from them and just assumed the worst 😂 and I can’t blame y’all, it’s basically all that has been happening whenever the two are involved.

Still, the truth is... Ranta is very kind-hearted, so I guess we can always expect good things from him in a way, although his intentions are... eh, I mean, he was like “Take her out, and spend some time together” and how he wanted that to happen… is sus. Very sus, Ranta, how dare you corner Y/N like that?!

Well, surely we didn't expect him to be like: “Take Y/N out on a date for no apparent reason, as if nothing happened” with Y/N responding: “Sure!” and neither did he, that's why he went ahead to set that fail-safe regarding the urgency of her health (He's the one that instructed Naoya to tell the servants about her being cautious and what not, although dear husband was already thinking it, he just needed reassurance, you know?) But we shall see if it works for them 😂 place your bets, everybody!

Ranta really out there trying to save his ship, even going as far as gaslighting Naoya into believing nothing was going on with Naoaki and his wife that one night. I’m sure he wasn’t able to sleep that night without Ranta rushing to his aid. Ah, to have good friends 😅

Also, I hope it was somewhat implicitly clear that Naoya was not doing any of these things out of the goodness of his heart, he’s still acting through the volitions of others and that… agh, man, it’s like one step forward, two backwards 😭

And the way he was acting so “love-struck” with her? Nah, that was not… no. If someone told me that, someone I have a relationship of animosity with for example, I’d be like “get those ugly ass compliments away from me I DO NOT CARE” those words mean nothing... as of now.

I hope a miracle comes through with them in the following chapters, if not… 😭

Anyways, the last part… the clothes!!

I missed detailing their garments, I still remember when I used to do that at the beginning of the story, but as it went on, that kind of fell into irrelevance 😂 I mean, there was a war going on… how could I 😭

The way Y/N’s staff dressed her up to go out with Naoya was… how do I say it, baffling? I can’t believe any of them were happy to get her all nicely when she was to go out with someone they all definitely hated. I’m sure they were all thinking of doing the bare minimum, but with Junko looming around, they probably didn’t have much say.

Still, here are the things I imagined she wore: her kimono right over her, (I remember seeing another one that I like better than this one, but I just couldn't find it anymore... 😭) and her hair clips right over here (without the long, silver dangling thing)

(P.S. Remember that yellow kimono with the blue obi from chapter 12? Keep that in mind for the following chapters… haha)

Naoya should be grateful he’s even seeing her like that, Naoaki is the only one that deserves so at this point :3

I wonder how many things she got at the wedding reception… and how many of them she actually got to keep, considering that the things Hinata sent to her to “ease” her homesickness never arrived so…

I really don’t know how everything is going to pan out once in writing, but all I know is that I’m super excited about it, and more to share it with all of you!

As always, these are just comments/notes that I thought influential when writing the chapter, so if there’s something that I missed that you guys wish for me to expand on, don’t hesitate to send me an ask! I’ll be sure to respond to the best of my ability without spoiling the story, of course.

Thank you so much for tuning in for a new update, I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, take care, and hope to see you soon!

#thought series: first it hurts—

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hollowsart · 3 years ago

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Thinking about a post I saw before I fell asleep and like..

I don't exactly think Spamton is being treated similarly to Säns and Päpyrüs. What happened to them made me genuinely tired and leave the fandom. The character was neat and I enjoyed a lot of the silly funny comics people made with him making jokes and puns around Päpyrüs who often had the funniest reactions to them. Some even being really cute.

However, I truly do think the mass majority of the fandom has learned from the mistakes of the chaos that happened during the UT "glory days". The stuff that made the fandom itself infamous and hated. People have grown up since then, others have moved on from the fandom, some even leaving tumblr as a whole.

AU's and character x themself stuff is not at all as rampant or taken to extremes like it was then. I can't say they don't exist at all, but they really do not exist like they did for Säns and Päpyrüs back then. If you know, you know.

It may also be because I don't follow too many blogs in the first place, but I do genuinely believe the DR fandom is an improvement from the UT one when it comes to the small funny guy character.

I do genuinely believe that.

Anyways, just.. block those who baby-ify Spamton like you do with those who ship him with a child. heck, if I see another, that’s what I’m gonna do. (and I do mean the ones that are serious about babying him, not the obvious joking ones)

the l3wd stuff is something you’d really have to actively be searching for to find and see, and it also depends on the website you’re using. tumblr is very safe and usually posts will tell you if something is l3wd, giving a warning and hiding it under a cut or with a link so you’re not outright having to see it. plus, that sort of content is just a russian roulette grab bag game. there’s no way around that.

finally, mischaracterization is just something that happens and can’t be avoided that depends entirely on the artist or author using the character as to whether or not they do it on purpose or just struggle and are trying to develop a grasp on the character. I, for one, am the latter. keeping a character consistent and true to canon is a real challenge, especially when there’s a lot of nuance and subtlety to the character and their story. and even more so when the character isn’t one of your own creations. It’s a little bit easier when the character isn’t as developed with a lot of backstory to go off from within the source material.

overall, in the end, people are just having fun.

it’s up to you to moderate your own experience of it.

#Ghostie mumbles #just thoughts.. yeah.#//long post #//delete soon

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zeeroweenies · 4 years ago

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How do you write for a character you’ve never wrote before? A sista is struggling

Well usually I just look up stuff about that character so I avoid mischaracterizing the hell out of them. Like now I’m writing something for mitsuya from tokyo rev, I don’t know a damn thing ab him except that I’ve seen him in the show😭 but looking up some facts about him is making my writing process a lot smoother. Hope this helps💓

#hot girl writing academy 💒#replies <3

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semi-imaginary-place · 5 years ago

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fe3h blogging 6 because organizational skills are for losers

oh hey yuri get to join chess club[3:24 PM]balthus DID go to the officers academy twice I’ve been trying to reconcile the route differences... it should be that everything that happens in a different route is also possible in the route you are looking at which ever one that may be. Now all there is is figuring out why those differences exist. or alternately to come up with a probability model to explain those differences. Let’s take the major difference of CF vs VW, AM, and SS. In CF unlike the other routes, Rhea is not captured, she organizes the knights and joins with Faerghus. In CF unlike other routes Byleth chooses to side with Edelgard and Rhea attacks them in the Holy Tomb, this is the only difference. Rhea is incredibly entitled when it comes to Byleth and so takes Byleth’s choice as a deep betrayal as the one who was supposed to be on her side chose not to be. In the battle of Garreg Mach, Rhea then also doesn’t entrust the Church to Byleth. Now how does this connect to Rhea avoiding capture in the battle? It could be she was more on guard after the Holy Tomb in BE, it could be that overall Rhea is likely captured but there is a chance she isn’t. Either way because she isn’t captured, she is there to rally and organize the knight’s of Seiros. In the other routes why didn’t Seteth do it? idk man. The Knights and Faerhgus together are better able to fend off the Empire and with the added security, keep Cornelia, the Agarthans, and Edelgard from framing Dimitri with assassination. Thus in CF Faerghus is in a more unified and powerful position with Rhea running the show. Never quite got why Garreg Mach was abandoned by all the sides given how much the characters talk about its strategic location etc. etc. In SS Rhea degenerates and causes the church to become a rampaging hivemind. Rhea is assumedly also in the palace in AM, but we do meet her in VW. This leads to a few possibilities, either she also dragon degenerated in those routes but the credits roll before we get to see that or she doesn’t. Either way she hold the potential to do so. This is probably the strongest probability argument in the game as we are shown no reason why she does in SS but does not in VW. Rhea is like a ticking time bomb. Maybe they should have blood minstrated like half the church. And then the Agarthans, are they just chilling around underground in AM? yeah, probably. They’re probably back to biding their time just like they have the past 1000 years.

I would like to talk about the three categories by which I evaluate how much I like a character in a series. 1. Personal preference: how much does the character's personality appeal to me on a personal level. Would I want to be friends with this person in real life. Do I just really wish they were real and want them in my life? 2. Character writing: how well written is the character. How good is their character arc? What is the grade of execution? 3. Role in the story: what do they bring to the series as a whole. If they are a villain, are they a good villain? Comic relief. The Bro character. No matter the archetype, how well is it done. What is their narrative and thematic significance.

Let's look at the 3 Lords of Fire Emblem: Three Houses. Please note that due to the branching story line and the ability of the player to choose the cast, I will not be focusing on a character's role in story as much as I usually do. Edelgard Personal preference: low. Her personality clashes with mine Character writing: high. Three Houses characters in general are well written. Edelgard feels like a person, her behavior is internally consistent, she's always herself. One of her main flaws explored in the game is how Edelgard will tunnel-vision and double down on a decision, a path even when it is no longer the best option. Role: high. In Crimson Flowers and to a lesser extent Silver Snow Edelgard acts as the central character, she drives the story. As the villain in 3/4 routes, Edelgard is incredibly interesting, acting as a counter point to the other Lords as well as to Byleth in Silver Snow.

Dimitri Personal preference: low. At first I didn't care, and then he was just annoying. He was solidly #2 on my to-punch-list in Azure Moon after Gilbert. Character writing: high. Dimitri has the easiest to notice character arc in the game as it is the main focus of Azure Moon. As such the most time is spent on his arc and it is very strong. The journey Dimitri goes on as he struggles with himself and his trauma is well written, its only weakness being that it hinges on the player (me) caring about him (which I do not). Role is the story: medium high. the overarching story of the rightful king reclaiming his throne nicely parallels the story of Dimitri reclaiming himself. Thus the external journey mirrors the internal one. Azure Moon most strongly brings the human element to Three Houses and this is both a strength and a weakness.

Claude Personal preference: very high. I wish I had a Claude in my life. His personality meshes well with mine and my life would be enhanced with the addition of his company. When I say Claude is my favorite, this is the category I am usually talking about. Character writing: high. Claude has the subtlest characterization and character arc of the Lords, this is further obscured due to mischaracterization by the English localization team and English voice actor. The characters in Three Houses in general are brilliant and Claude is no exception. He's complex and multifaceted as any real person is, and seeing him grow in to his own in Verdant Wind is a beautiful thing. Role in story: high. Claude's role in the Three Houses is also very interesting, his objectives especially in White Clouds turns the game into a mystery thriller which is breaking edge for a Fire Emblem Game. Claude's background is also a bit different from the others and so following along his story, you are able to gain perspective and see all of Fodlan for what it really is.

Jeralt personal preference: meh writing: good role: dad

wait. wait. so are the 4 apostles are called saints in the intro, but were they also children of the goddess? so i can see indech and macuil dipping after the war of heroes and cethalenn went into a regenerative coma so that takes her and cihol out of the picture, but where were the 4 apostles during the war? and why does balthus' pants have a specially colored patch for his crotch. ... did balthus go to the academy twice? dimitri really went “i’d be nice to just sink into the earth you know” huh. i just started cindered shadows so i can't really comment but... the whole "abyss is necessary for garreg mach" is such horse shit. like oooohhhhh we must have an oppressed underclass to maintain our standard of living. why do the ashen wolves even exist. its not like there's a school down there and yet a bunch of people have uniforms. its not like they took some of the officer's academy uniforms either. why waste resources making custom uniforms? oh hey yuri get to joisn chess club. balthus DID go to the officers academy twice. I wonder what happened to Constance. Also hello??? Intsys you have a kidnapping and torture as backstory problem, especially when its happening to female characters. Hapi get’s kidnapped, tortured and then imprisoned, no wonder the life has left her eyes. Also I don’t trust this Aelfric dude. He set up the ashen wolves “house”, but wouldn’t those resources be better spent on food and medicine. nepotism ho! your parent were good so you must be too

anyone else find Jeralt and Sitri's relationship a little weird. Hundreds of years old dude romances incredibly sheltered 19 year old with little life experience. and she and alfric idolized Jeralt when they were young. sitri was born in 1139 and died 1159 from childbirth. I mean yeah Sitri's an adult and totally consenting and loving, and the relationship is pretty cute and sweet, but.... its kinda weird.... Like when you hear about a 30 year old dating a 60 year old, everyone's well into adulthood, they're consenting adults who can do whatever they want, i have no objections,... but its still kinda weird. WHAT'S WORSE IS THAT THEY DEVS HAD LITERALLY NO REASON TO DO THIS they could have made her any age they wanted to. She could have been 35. but nooooo they didn't do that

the part that bothered me about maneula's writing. Is how the writers talk down on her for having emotions. You see this strongly in the hanneman+manuela paralogue. Where they make her do something impulsive which has negative consequences, which is fair. But then the game punishes her for being too emotional. "being too emotional" now where have i heard that critique before. This is especially in contrast to the game praising hanneman's intellectual rationality. how do i say this... whenever hanneman and manuela argue the game always takes hanneman's side and is overly harsh on manuela. Oh hanneman is right that she should not have run off after a rumor about the death knight like that, but its the framing of the scene that bothers me.

the way people talk about the abyss reminds me of the goldfish bowl metaphor. the abyss provides sanctuary, but in it thye are also trapped. huh so edelgard doesn’t recognize dimitri. people sure do like aelfric, reminds me of a cult of personality, but it seems so genuine... A great rhea’s golems are back. they talk!! I was just joking about people’s souls being bound in there!!! aelfric is one of the cardinals!!!!! I've been trying to find these dude for months!!!!! you hear these lines going on and on about the cardinals. oh. he’s part of the seiros hivemind then. hey kids. if he’s a cardinal than the church probably already knows. this don’t tell the church stuff sounds like a trap. that letter is suspicious af. yuri clearly wants something, but what is he up to,,,

Yeah.. it really sounds like the 4 apostles were nabateans, but if that were so are constance, hapi, balthus, and yuri really descended from them? the 4 saints bloodlines in adrestia are from those gifted blood by the saints. yet i do believe the 4 apostles fled to different corners of fodlan, what remains in question is only if there in their new homes they gave blood (like rhea did to save jeralt), or actually did have kids.

i cant believe balthus got put on the bus via giant bird. ah so aelfric and yuri are cooperating with the agarthans. thats what they were up to. wow yuri really is fandom claude, i can still hear those idiots complaining that claude wasn’t up to anything and that he didn’t betray byleth. huh so yuri is struggling with split loyalty and the solution he came up with was to help aelfric but give byleth hints.

constance calling the holy mausoleum a wretch hovel in on par with sylvain calling the dining hall filthy. huh so that was what yuri was planning. wasn’t expecting the double agent ploy.

so this does not take away from aelfric's decisions, but if rhea hadn't been a coward and just buried sitri instead of keeping her is storage where anyone could find her, this never would have happened. who know's maybe aelfric would have still made horrible decisions, but not this one horrible decision.

wait wait wait. rhea, what happened last time you used the chalice to try and resurrect sothis. what beast was created then? wait wait. nemesis dies and sothis’ heat and bones were retrieved in 91. the blood chalice ritual happened in 185. That’s enough time for rhea to have conducted her first experiment implanting the creststone into someone and having them live out their full life.

prior to cindered shadows i thought claude had 2 given names much like many real world people of dual identity do (multiracial people, chinese americans, japanese americans, etc.), so claude is his name but he also has an almyran name. now though I am leaning towards the idea that claude is a name he took up upon entering fodlan given what he says to balthus at first and the presence of a claudia riegan in the past. from the feast of decadence: where is boramas? and i hope the bit about watching northern swordsmen ripped apart by wild animals at dinner was a play or something. why do books end up in the abyss anyways. why not burn them throughly. rhea certainly knows people have been living down there. i wonder who built abyss. its older than garreg mach for sure. real ironic how the blue lions idolize loog when he was an agarthan pawn not unlike edelgard. rhea's choice contributed to the power imbalance between sreng and duscur compared to faerghus chevalier became village elder and gave everyone blood during wars. half got crests half turned into demonic beasts. that solves that. 1/4 down

i can’t believe aubin almost died in a ditch before yuri’s mom saved them. well that’s one more person with a really long life span

balthus: describing "bashbros" me: its called a life partner. "Balthus became son-in-law to the great commander, Nader" ... what. also why is the balthus yuri pairen ending the only one balthus ends up broke and on the street in. also where's my holst supports. scratch that. WHERE IS HOLST. oh yeah and you all were crying about byleth potentially outliving everyone, well yuri does too

ashen wolves supports that should have happened. Balthus: Manuela. Yuri: Mercedes. Hapi: Ignatz, Petra, Claude. Constance: Lorenz

Also let judith be a playable character. Claude and balthus already have like half a support with her.

why do feel like yuri and sylvain would be a disaster. and disaster in that they'd hurt each other's feelings

claude whenever balthus opens his mouth: shut up shut up shut up. shut up and go away. goddess. please. no. i enjoy seeing claude annoyed more than i probably should

me taking the fe3h developers by the shoulders and shaking them furiously: WHY DON'T CLAUDE AND HAPI GET A SUPPORT. THEY EVEN BOTH HAVE CELESTIAL MOTIFS! claude would also empathize with hapi as an outsider of sorts, as well as both sharing a desire to explore the world. i think the riegan crest and timotheus crest got mixed up in development. in tarot readings the moon is associated with darkness, an unclear mind, madness, creativity etc. it suits "dark dragon" far more than "star dragon". but that doesn't explain why claude gets the unique combat art Fallen Star me one again taking the fe3h developers by the shoulders and shaking them furiously: WHY DON'T YURI AND ASHE HAVE A SUPPORT!! THE APPARENTLY ALREADY KNOW EACH OTHER. THEY HAVE SIMILAR BACKGROUNDS. THEY'RE BOTH FROM FAERGHUS. THEIR BATTLE DIALOG SAYS MEANS THEY WANT TO BE FRIENDS

No bathus/manuela support either LET THEM MAKE POOR LIFE CHOICES TOGETHER. Balthus can have a little milf, as treat

... yuri is very pretty in part 2

Edelgards biggest flaws are her desire for control and her stubborness or the way she will double down on a decision and refuse to budge. Claude's biggest flaws are his inability to trust, and showing his hand too late. A bit more on that last part. A large part of Claude's strategies involve downplaying his side and biding his time. This strategy is especially weak though to an aggressive opponent like Edelgard who can bulldoze him before he has time to play out his plan. Part of the problem is that Claude is very reactive but not very proactive (its one of the reasons I like pairing him with Edelgard and Petra). He won't just go for something the way Edelgard does, he's wait for the right opportunity. This difference you can also see in how the deal with the Church. Edelgard declares war on them because she thinks they are the root of Fodlan's social problems and need to be taken down. She makes a decision she believes in and readies herself for the consequences. Claude actually believes much of the same (The Church is the root of Fodlan's problems) but would much rather avoid those consequences (fall out with the Church). You see in Verdant Wind he will make use of the Church because the are useful. He's even willing to spout Church rhetoric and propaganda (Byleth as a Church symbol) if it suits his end goal of transferring power to an individual who will shape Fodlan's future to his liking (he does have an altruistic and humanitarian goal much like Edelgard). However in doing so he risks empowering the Church even more. In short Claude will put up a facade that he doesn't agree with on an ideals level and so is always in danger of that facade becoming real and failing his goals. yeah so claude character development has him learning to trust and being more proactive in his goals. so i like pairing him with characters that put him on a similar growth trajectory

wait how are the Fetters of Dromi (Aubin) and Vajra-Mushi (Chevalier) around simultaneously with Aubin and Chevalier. Aubin was last seen 20 years ago and the tales of elder giving blood don’t seem ancient, so were they recently killed?

ok if the vajra-mushi is a replica, what’s it a replica of? that implies an original. and its still able to turn people into demonic beasts. how????

unpopular opinion: I hate seteth. his face pisses me off and every time he opens his mouth I want to punch him. please die.

You know... i'd expected someone to have written a modern au of felix and sylvain being roommates with unresolved sexual tension.... but no its been 9 months and I haven't seen anything. Oh I've seen roommates where its like the new and uncomfortable experience of sharing space with someone you dont know and I've seen modern au where they are childhood friends. But i seriously have not seen the specific scenario where they are childhood friends AND roommates. Like... uuugh its just sylvain. But also uuggh its just sylvain?!? Maybe I'll just have to do it myself... but im no good at writing...

What if glenn was 160cm but the kids never noticed (except sylvain) because they're so much younger

I want a spin off fighting game starring ferdinand and caspar. Honestly i just wanted to see ferdinand get into a fistfight with someone like in his support

On a fandom level I think the golden deer are the least popular for a number of reasons:

1. some of the characters only reveal their depth in supports and paralogues. Or in other words you must seek out these character to get to know them. Ex: Lorenz, Leonie, Ignatz. I mean without doing their supports you'd never know that Ignatz is the smoothest out of the Golden Deer the the most likely to get a date. If Sylvain is a poser, Ignatz is the real deal 2. Related to the above the writing sometimes relies too heavily on a character gimmick. Ex: Raphael, and Lysithea to a degree 3. Compared to other houses there are less established dynamics. Other characters (Linhardt and Caspar, BL childhood friend squad, etc.) can play off of each other and this can make them more emotionally accessible to a player. In the beginning especially the golden deer act more like co-workers than friends, they are the least cohesive as a house (which means their growth is that much more delicious). 4. the golden deer route in general is less popular and some characters don't appear in other routes so the sheer amount of exposure these characters get is less than other houses. a lot of people in the "fandom" have only played one or 2 routes and those usually include either azure moon or crimson flower/silver snow. people will also just delete or add things to characters.

OK Jp audio thoughts: tiny grandma sothis Alois is gravelier and yells a lot I've been replaying the line where claude giggles in the jp audiio. How do i record audio ignatz is such a BABY in the japanese version. Like a small bunny Edelgard sounds more princessy Claude is more light hearted, less sassy more... boyish? like that one old school boy character trope that used to be a main character thing and is now more a side character thing eng dimitri more yell-y and feral. jp dimitri is a lot more subdued and dead inside. but the delivery of the lines makes what he is saying all the more disturbing. dissonant serenity.

your path lies across my grave is such a raw line

Why did yuri get a different part 2 sprite. he should age the same rate jeralt did. And in his paired ending with byleth? He apparently looks about the same after decades

Hilda and catherine would be EXCELLENT war masters if the devs weren't sexist

So almyra's big. We don't know how big. Fodlan is 2/3 of europe and almyra is bigger so i imagine there's a diverdity of biomes. I imagine the south coast is mediterranian. But that hinges on how subtropical adrestia is. Medditerranian climates are most common at 30-40 lattitude. The map of almyra we can see on the map is the same lattitude as faerhgus. This could be the greenest part of Almyra. I imagine almyra has both hot and cold deserts with a large plain covering the center. The rest would be scrubland/chaperral. All we know is that claude grew up somewhere with no big trees. I imagine that almyran government is more meriocratic than fodlan but that may vary region to region. I have an idea for both a centralized and decentralized almyra. Each regions leader is like the strongest most organized person around. A bit of nepotism may be involved. The exception would be the coast region which is more sedentary (some parts of almyra are semi nomadic) and may have a republic. Decentralized almyra would work kinda like the eu or us with seperate nations and a mediator for when almyra needs to act as a whole. That mediator aids negotions between regions and keeps things together. Mediator would be a council/appointed position. In a centralized almyra there still wouldn't be a monarachy. The king would choose a sucessor. So the king's kid would have a better chance than anyone but its no garuntee. I like the idea that like the 30 closeat relatives has a last one standing system as part of the selection system. This would allow for a dynastic style if ruling where there's a ruling clan but not direct line of descent

Everyone keeps drawing older felix with long hair but I'm half convinced that 3 years post game he just lops,it off one day or gets a buzzcut

So a lot of people including me have long suspected Claude had an Almyran name and the validation right now just feels so great. Khalid! Given his dialog in cindered shadows I think its more likely Khalid is the name his parents gave him and Claude is the name he took up upon coming to Fodlan

Things have never been easy for Claude, he says in his s support that he's going, to do it (the whole game/war) all over again. It's heavily implied that things to not end well for Claude outside of VW. i don't think the Almyrans would value a surrender to a fodlander tho. Claude in VW proves his competence as a military commander and leader by controlling all of fodlan. Its stated in some of his paired endings that the current king has some say in who the next king is as Claude had to earn his father's approval to ascend the throne. Don't forget that the general Almyran populace hates Claude. He has to prove himself by their standards before any respect is given and in SS/CF/AM he doesn't do that. Remember that the Fodland stereotype is of cowards and that Almyra values spectacles of strength/fighting prowess over tactical efficiency (invading fodlan's throat isn't for the purpose of gaining land/etc. its for the warriors to show off how strong they are), so they wouldn't value strategically weakening your nation (leicester) to stave off imperial invasion, to them that just looks like cowardice and incompetance. not only that he endangered and wasted Almyran soldiers in fighting a foreign war. Remember that no one really knows about Claude's plans outside of VW, he keeps his cards (too) close to his chest, and in non-VW routes the facade of weakness becomes a reality and all his schemes crumble. and he has little to show for his time in fodlan. Claude is less likely to experience character growth outside of VW, but I think there is potential for Claude's character growth outside of VW. One reason for this I'm just not a fan of Byleth's dating sim powers where everyone just falls head over heels for them. For every character and especially the lords, Byleth acts as a catalyst for the character's growth, but Claude (of the lords) is the least dependent on Byleth so I do believe he could have found some of the connections seen in VW if not to that extent. (also I'm a sucker for found family)[4:22 PM]But Byleth does act as the heart and glue of the golden deer so things wouldn't be that great for Claude and co

So we cam see both turkic and persian influences in almyra but I've always wondered at the balance. From the turkic side we have the warrior culture and horse riding. This is also where my speculations on a nomadic society and non monarchy forms of government come from. Also note turkic (central asia, like the mongols) and not turkish (one of the turkic ethnicities). On the other side is ancient persia which was a center of science, technology and learning, a materially wealthy empire with imperial dynasties. These are very different and so balancing headcanons has always been challenging to honor both sides. You can see people are all over the spectrum in fandom.

Me shaking dorothea by the shoulders: YOU ARE VALID. I AM PROUD OF WHAT YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED. EAT THE RICH

im a caught between the dual desires of seeing sylvain succeed at something and be really cool, and seeing sylvain publicly make a fool of himself. sylvain miserable for mundane reasons is such a good look. I pin Sylvain in a headlock and force 2 gallons of respect women juice down his throat

In any universe. Claude's weekly schedule would fill me with terror.

Leonie and dorothea both have "I know a guy" vibes

A while ago I complained that the fodlan calendar doesn’t make sense. Why does the year begin on month 4? Well I recently got around to reading through the abyss library and it confirms that fodlan used to be on the gregorian calendar with months 1-12 lining up with our january-december which in a lot of countries are just month/moon 1-12 and then seiros and the church brought in a new calendar system (imperial year and "___ Moon" naming system). so combined with the other hints from the agarthans (un symbol, ICBMs, etc.), pretty much confirms that fodlan is indeed a post apocalyptic modern world. So the weird calendar system DOES have an in universe justification!

#fe #fe3h

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uhsolikethis · 6 years ago

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Sometimes (most of the time) you can tell which people actually like Sam and which people only want him to be some sort of live in teddy bear that is only convenient to their fave when he's: A. Praising them for their physical features or B. To help the with in psychology problem they have because he's a "counselor"

It's gotten to the point where I can weed out stories by just the tags alone. Like, there is subtle stuff you can find that's shady and you know it's not there story for a Sam fan.

Like, (85% of) Stories the have it tagged as "Sam Centered" but the rest of the tags are about Bucky or Steve translate to "This story will be from Sam's POV and it's only going to be about him waxing poetics about my favorite character and about the actions of my fave. He does have his own problems he needs to fix but he does that in 2 paragraphs, now let's get back to how he saves my defenseless, innocent, fragile baby"

I don't usually read explicit or mature stories but I just avoid Top!Sam stories because a lot of them either has him as, to be blunt, A personal dildo for Steve/Bucky or a poet obsessed with their dry wall behinds. And during most of the story they neglect Sam completely in regards to his appearance and beauty. And might, might , throw in a compliment about his arms or credit score.

And I just all around avoid stories that explicitly state Counselor!Sam because you know he's just there to "heal" your fave.

There are more signals but I can't think of any right now because I'm losing focus on this post BUT there is more.

(TBH this happens to a lot of my faves in fics. Sam, Valkyrie, Rhodey, Maria Rambeau, hmmm have noticed a trend here about neglected and mischaracterized characters??)

(I haven't read any Sam fics in a while because going through his shipping tag is depressing)

#im feeling salty today #like full on mcdonalds fries #Sam Wilson #hopefully the tag gets its act together once the story starts #or gets worse #who knows #Sam is not you faves caretaker???#like??!!?! SIS!!!!!!#first of all that not how relationships work #second of all how dare you??!!#Falcon #i would clean up the tag #but my writing skills sis... i struggle #I'll start but the get distracted one page in amd want to rush to the end #like its like making a PBJ with one McDonalds jelly packet and the last scrap of peanut butter that ypur brother saved even thought THE JAR #IS EMPTY!!!!!!!!!

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tiergan-vashir · 6 years ago

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@aegirward

I wanted to address some things about your reply to me, but all of it was quite long, so to spare everyone’s dashboards, I’m just going to leave a link here for them to read it, as well as @friendly-fire-engaged‘s response to you.

There's a lot of misinformation here to unpack, so let me just start from the top:

Sorry if I wasn’t clear in my previous reply. I didn’t mean I was wary that Sylb specifically had photoshopped screenshots. I had become wary in general after being burned once.

Whether you were wary in general or wary against Sylb specifically is completely irrelevant. It doesn’t matter if it was Sylb in particular or any other woman on the planet. The fact of the matter is that when faced with a woman who presented you with screenshots of sexual harassment from man with a long established, self-admitted history of sexually harassing women - you still decided the screenshots might have been photoshopped.

That’s not ‘wariness’ - that’s a blatant denial.

You also seem to be extremely determined to paint a very benign picture of yourself in which your only two flaws when it came to Sylb and her harassment were:

You wanted to give Kale a second chance despite his history, because people had given you a second chance in the past.

You made a mistake and believed that Sylb must not have been suffering that badly, because she was willing to continue RPing with the group despite Kale’s presence.

There’s much more to it than that. You conveniently glossed over your most egregious, malicious behavior:

Despite how kind and accommodating you were to Sylb’s face, you were actively sabotaging her to other people behind her back.

You made the conscious, willful choice to not only buy into the idea that Sylb may have photoshopped the screenshots and that she must not have been suffering all that badly because she was still RPing with EA, but that Sylb was the one who wronged Kale and that other, completely uninvolved people needed to be convinced of this as well. You held up a double standard where it was okay to trust Kale despite his past, but Sylb was not trustworthy from the beginning.

Here are some screenshots from @diskwrite-ffxiv’s post which show you driving a wedge between AMoB and FLEET by bringing up Sylb out of the blue in AMoB’s moderator chat and intentionally mischaracterize her to Renata and Berrod as someone who was just out to ostracize Kale.

https://imgur.com/a/i7SJjlq

The screenshots show you and Iota worked together to paint Sylb as someone trying to manipulate others into hating and shunning Kale. You brought up how Zheng ‘questioned her intentions’. You described her as someone who will “rant to anyone about Kale” - a falsehood I know is patently untrue. Sylb was extremely anxious and nervous about talking about her situation to anyone and didn't want to appear like she was trying to run Kale’s name through the mud.

She didn’t even bring it up to the majority of her own FC. Most of FLEET was in the dark all the way up until @diskwrite-ffxiv’s post was created. The only people who had in-depth knowledge that she was even suffering from anything were a small handful of her closest friends for support, the EA Mods she passed the document off to, and eventually Martin.

The screenshots also show you making the claim that she “copy/pasted her story about needing to block Kale and why to pretty much everyone” despite Sylb ONLY giving that document the EA Mods, Martin, and that handful of close friends she was going to for support. She went out of her way to specifically ask Iota not to share the document containing her request around to anyone outside of the EA mods without her permission first, as seen below:

https://imgur.com/a/4SHtSLd

All of this clearly demonstrates that contrary to what you claim, you actually very much did try to stop collaborations between AMoB and FLEET. You tried to convince Renata that Sylb was trying to smear Kale’s name and nearly succeeded in doing so. Renata herself admitted that as a direct result of this, she brushed off Sylb’s legitimate complaint. You smeared a woman’s name to people she didn’t know, because you and Zheng “questioned her intentions”.

In the next part of your reply, you’ve conflated two entirely separate events Sylb wanted to create: The FLEET-Resistance collab event and the Soldier’s Ball.

Your original reply to the ask mentions the FLEET-Resistance event Sylb wanted to create with AMoB. I was referencing this FLEET-Resistance event when I when I asked why it was suspect that a victim of sexual harassment wouldn’t want to create an RP event where she would have to be near the person who harassed her in the time immediately after she outright blocked him as opposed it being a completely sane and normal response from a victim of sexual harassment.

AMoB was not directly affiliated with EA. The FLEET-Resistance event was not an EA event. Kale, as a character, has nothing to do with FLEET and the Resistance. So why was it strange for a woman to want to exclude the man who made her uncomfortable in an event she was trying to collaborate on the day after blocking him?

Here are the screenshots of that conversation: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1l_kPtTU-YjJy335F1yB4KLyvFVaNbz2cr0xI2FCTU3U/edit?usp=sharing

You, her, Iota, Martin, and Zheng were all in a group chat together brainstorming. Sylb mentioned she didn’t really want a public event as she’d been hoping for more of a Maelstorm vs Resistance event and that it was too soon for certain characters to show up. Note how she went out of her way to avoid mentioning Kale and is wary of discussing her situation in front of someone who is not an EA mod until she is made aware that Zheng is already in the know. Notice how she finally agrees to open the event up further - just before Zheng insinuates she is spearheading a “Fuck Kale campaign”.

Another thing I want to point out is that Zheng never apologized to Sylb after that discussion for the “Fuck Kale campaign” comment and you did not provide a proper apology either. This wasn't a matter of “Golly! We thought Sylb must not have been suffering so badly, because she was still RPing with EA!” - this was a matter of you both explicitly not believing her and punishing her for it. As the AMoB mod channel screenshots clearly showed, you admit to questioning her intentions and actively worked to sabotage her.

The Soldier’s Ball is an entirely different event, and I notice that you have a very different timeline of events than what actually occurred.

At the time this conversation was going on, Sylb was still participating in EA events with Kale. If I remember right, it was shortly after the Ala Mhigan Ascension RP. I had not been told that she no longer wanted to do any event with Kale or have Kale at her other events.

Sylb said she would not work directly with Kale and that was the reason for not choosing him as a representive. But prior to that, she was in our group DMs with Kale helping plan for the ascension ceremony. That was the event where I offered to translate anything Kale said and pass it on to her, rather than have her be in the group chat, if that made her more comfortable.

So the situation perplexed me, because in my mind, she had just been dealing with Kale and this combination of choosing Raniall over Kale and Martin over Zheng seemed less about comfort and more about a decision that would make things awkward with Kale’s group.

I told her the situation made me uncomfortable, because it did. I was thinking of the impact it would have on the 4th. The position it would put Raniall in and what it might make the other 4th members think. I never told her not to do it, just that it wasn’t something I was comfortable with, so I wouldn’t be attending the event, but I WOULD make sure it was promoted in all the usual places. I didn’t think my lack of participation would matter ICly, because I was not RPing anyone needed for the event.

Firstly - the notion that “she no longer wanted to do any event with Kale or have Kale at her other events” is flagrantly untrue and easiest to disprove.

In the screenshot conversation with Iota I linked above where Sylb hands over her document to the mods to lay down her boundary with Kale, Sylb explicitly states: “I’ll continue to be polite to him in group channels and in voice chat, but I don’t want to have direct one on one contact with him anymore. I’m not asking the Eorzean Alliance discord mods (or anyone else) to take any sort of action against Kale. I’m just letting you know about this boundary that I’m establishing with Kale because it’ll likely impact the way that FLEET communicates with the rest of the EA group (as in, I’ll reach out to other GMs instead of Kale about stuff).”

This was copy-pasted word for word from the document that was shared with you and all the EA Moderators.

Secondly - the Ala Mhigan Ascension event happened in December, two months after Sylb had blocked Kale in early October and informed the EA moderators of her boundary. (Timestamps visible in the Discord screenshots where Sylb laid her boundary down.) By then you should have been more than well aware of it. There should have been nothing ‘perplexing’ about what was occurring.

Unless you did not care enough to read her document laying out her boundaries in its entirety when it was shared to you, you would know she was doing exactly what she’d stated her boundary was two whole months ago: cooperate politely with Kale in group chats, but bar him from talking to her in direct, one-on-one conversations.

Lastly - the most glaring mischaracterization you’ve written of everything surrounding the Soldier’s Ball is the idea that Sylb:

Uninvited Kale from the Soldier’s Ball.

“Sylb said she would not work directly with Kale and that was the reason for not choosing him as a representive”

Sylb was not selecting representatives - she was literally trying to get people to pick songs. She thought it would be nice to have a song for each Grand Company at the Soldier’s Ball, and was considering asking individuals from each Grand Company group to pick one. That’s literally it.

Here is your conversation with Sylb regarding Soldier’s Ball, where she is clearly discussing the selection of songs - not representatives: https://imgur.com/a/2ON3xLf

Because she did not want direct, one-on-one conversations with Kale as per her boundary, it only made sense for her to reach out to Raniall, Kale’s Second-in-Command, to get a Flames song. And because her last interaction with Zheng/Beowoad was him literally accusing her of launching a “Fuck Kale Campaign” (and even you mention in this exact conversation that Zheng ‘questioned her intentions’) - she understandably felt more comfortable reaching out to Martin to pick a song for the Resistance than Zheng/Beowoad. Yet she even offers to ask Zheng/Beo instead of Martin for the song if it too uncomfortable for you.

I will add that Martin was only initially uncomfortable with the Soldier’s Ball because you misled them entirely as to what the entire situation was even about. You provided them with a small section of the conversation, outside of its context and mischaracterized what Sylb wanted.

The rest of your reply to me is completely irrelevant, because it’s filled with baseless assumptions on what Sylb may have been thinking and more assertions that it was somehow “confusing” that she was still participating in EA events and working in group chats with Kale, but not in direct contexts despite you having knowledge of what her boundary was for months at that point.

All in all, your response here makes it clear that the public apologies written by you and Zheng are catered more toward damage control than actual reflection, assessment and change. Neither your apology or this post owns up to the fact you and Iota were kind to Sylb’s face, but actively slandered her as a person to other people behind her back. Neither your apology, Zheng’s, or this post owns up to the fact that you and Zheng went much further than simply assuming her situation was not as bad as it seemed - you both flat out didn’t believe her. You “questioned her intentions” and punished her for daring to lay her boundary down.

When asked to leave AMoB, Zheng tried to argue that G&G has dealt with four sexual harassment cases and one had an “issue that appeared to be a plot to discredit someone falsely.” (https://imgur.com/a/r08qz70) If it is not Sylb Zheng was referencing, then perhaps this other individual’s case should also be given a second look considering how poorly Sylb was treated.

Aegir, Instead of taking responsibility for the your true actions, you eagerly paint yourself as a man whose only flaws were that he miscalculated how serious the situation was and really wanted to believe in second chances. You talk repeatedly about how “confusing” Sylb’s behavior is to try and paint her inconsistent so your actions seem more excusable, while Sylb was doing exactly what she stated she was going to do to the EA Mods to keep herself safe. You present a timeline of events that is muddled and out of order to serve your own needs and place yourself in a more sympathetic light. A real apology doesn’t try to replace the other person’s story with your own reconstruction of events, rewriting what needs to be apologized for.

To put it bluntly, I question your intentions, Aegir.

Your apology, and by extension, Zheng’s apology as it contains much of the same face-saving “we misjudged how serious the situation was and thought the issue was minor because Sylb was still working with EA” language - won’t feel genuine by any stretch of the imagination until you own up to your true mistakes.

If you can’t admit to where you actually went wrong, how is anyone supposed to trust that this is more than a simple attempt at damage control? How are we supposed to believe that you and the rest of the G&G leadership have actually learned from this and will truly change?

#G&G #gold & glory #gold and glory #long post #drama #discourse

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balanceoflightanddark · 3 years ago

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Did you submit the super-hero-confessions about wanting to know where the logic behind Thanos being "groomed" by Death comes from? Sorry if not, I'm just assuming since you never answered my ask about it and that wording was pretty specific lol. No offense intended truly I hate to be a know-it-all but if that was you then you're just fundamentally misinformed about them, Death regularly interacts with Thanos directly, usually speaking to him through a mouthpiece, and she brings him back from the dead to kill half the universe for her. She does not ignore him, nor is she a completely neutral player for him to project desires onto. We've seen her guiding him to become what he did since he was a child ie. Grooming him. You don't gotta respond to this obviously, I'm not gonna bother you again it's just a huge pet peeve of mine because I hate seeing this mischaracterization getting spread around, but if you want sources literally just like read Silver Surfer Vol3 #34, the Thanos Quest and Thanos Vol1 #1 (2003) at least. Cheers.

To begin, I just want to say sorry about the comment I made about Deadpool earlier and not having responded. I genuinely didn’t think I could help improve the situation since I did read some of the supplemental materials so I do know the relationship between Thanos and Death. I just didn’t know the full story and was just going by second hand accounts. So I do formally apologize.

Second, I did NOT send that confession to super-hero-confessions. I avoid that blog for reasons not related to Thanos, but let’s just say that some of the asks rub me the wrong way. With that said, I do not personally believe that Death was grooming Thanos when she brought him back to life. She wanted him back to correct something she felt had to be addressed, essentially to do a job only somebody like him could pull off. If she was grooming him for whatever reason, she had plenty of opportunity to jump on board once he DID wipe out half the universe. Which she didn’t, choosing to remain silent and just comment through others on her thoughts about what Thanos was doing, one point there’s an implication that Thanos technically is more powerful than her with the Gauntlet so remains silent out of respect for a better.

Admittedly it has been a looooooong time since I’ve read The Infinity Gauntlet and it’s supplements so I could be missing context or glossing over details. I just want to reiterate that I was making a joke and I genuinely didn’t believe the second hand accounts (TV Tropes is bad for proper analysis. Just read half the stuff they have on Azula or Edelgard). So I apologize for being a bit pig headed and there’s nothing wrong with being passionate about characters we like. Trust me. I’ve been there.

#ask answered #thanos

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ladyofpurple · 7 years ago

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GIRL ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE YOU UPDATED TPOY!! please tell me you haven’t given up on it )-:

I KNOW IM REALLY SORRY OMG

This took a bit longer to answer than it should have because I was trying to figure out how to reply, I guess?? The short answer is basically that writing bits of fic during my exams when I didn’t actually have the time to was super productive, mainly because I Didn’t Want To Do The Thing but my entire future hinged on Doing The Thing and anxiety-driven avoidance is excellent creative fuel, apparently. The problem is, of course, that once I finished and started getting my results back and actually had time to breathe again my brain kinda fizzled out and I never wanted to look at a Word document ever again in my life. Writing is really hard right now, for some reason. And not just TPoy — everything I try to write either gives me a headache, makes every idea I’ve ever had go flying out the window like magic, or looks like absolute garbage to me. (I’ve been trying, though, I promise!!!) There is more TPoY, though!! I swear to God!! It’s just coming along a little slower than anticipated.

The long answer is... a little more complicated and probably more than you’re interested in, and the main reason is the short one anyway. But I’ll put a long answer under a cut just in case (aka the entire history of TPoY lol), since I’ve lowkey wanted to post about it for a while now but didn’t quite know how to? May get a little very personal, I suppose.

Basically, TPoY is and always has been a garbage fic. I don’t say that to disparage my own writing or attempt to elicit praise from anyone: I have always considered it a glorious dumpster fire of experimentation, a ridiculous Frankenstein’s monster of all my favorite ML tropes as a practice run, since it had been so long since attempting to write anything at all. I’m thrilled that people like it, of course! Whenever people send me asks about it my answers always involve a lot of exclamation points and variations on “I AM CURRENTLY SOBBING ON THE FLOOR IN GRATITUDE” because I honestly have no idea how to express how genuinely teary-eyed I get when someone tells me how much they like it, or post a comment. That being said, it was always intended for my own amusement and/or therapy, and that it’s gotten so many bookmarks and kudos and comments is incredibly surreal, even after a whole year.

When I started writing it, I was working through a lot of stuff. My first boyfriend had broken up with me, and as we lived together in his hometown I was stuck there on my own for another year before I could move back home. 2016 was filled with a lot of horrifying shit that kept happening one after the other and I eventually almost had to drop out of school because I couldn’t handle it all. The relationship was pretty toxic but all I knew at the time was that I was scared and alone and heartbroken.

When I started writing, it was after 8 months of the worst bout of depression I’ve ever experienced, and I still wasn’t well, but I functioned passably enough to start hyperfocusing on things. I had an idea about a fic I suddenly wanted to write, and it would have a happy ending and all, but I could work through my feelings in a way I hadn’t tried to since before my ex and I got together. I pulled a lot of the start of the fic (the rejection, the miscommunication, the avoidance) from my recent breakup, yes, but also from my first rejection, aka the only other boy I’d liked enough to confess my feelings to. We were 17, and he admitted that he knew, and then suddenly we weren’t friends anymore. A year and a half later, I got together with my ex, and suddenly after three years of dedicating my life to “us” on his whims he was ghosting me without explanation.

I see a lot of myself in Marinette at that age. The awkwardness, the enthusiasm, the incredibly obvious lovesick obsession with a cute boy who’s nice to you. I wondered if maybe she would react the same, if put into similar circumstances as I had been. Focus on the self-doubt that would follow, based on insecurities she’s already shown in the show — coupled with your standard teenage hormone-fest —and you’d have a fabulous starter for angstfic and a free therapy session all in one.

The problem with that is nobody knows this backstory but me. People focusing on Marinette’s insecurities is nothing new. Other people are annoyed it’s such a popular trope. And the fact that I’ve chosen to focus on certain aspects of the main characters’ identities for the purposes of a story I started on a whim has been making me insecure for a long time because people in the fandom are tired of those characterizations. I’ve never gotten hate comments —I don’t even remember ever getting constructive criticism on TPoY. But I’m well aware that the plot is far from original and definitely lacking in certain places, and as the comments roll in and the hits go up my anxiety mounts because oh my God I’m that guy in the fandom.

I always intended on focusing on different aspects of their characterizations in different fics to suit the plot, y’know? Not ignoring parts of their personalities, but just... emphasizing other parts. But TPoY is the one most people have read. I have a couple one-shots where I tried to do something like that, with different aspects of their characters, but short one-shots can’t really compare to a 100,000+ word WIP, even if they even slightly compared in popularity (they don’t). So my only notable contribution to the fandom is TPoY. And that makes me anxious.

Then there’s the Frankenstein-like obsession with adding every trope I’ve ever wanted to write in a fic like this. I’ve mentioned before that the original plan for this was, like, 10-15 chapters at most. But every chapter I write I’m like, “But what if I did this???” Like I said, I never intended it to be even remotely popular. The only other fandoms I’ve written for are microscopic in comparison. I had no frame of reference for a pairing this big — all my previous experience was from Fanfiction.net, for Christ’s sake. I assumed I wouldn’t finish it, and even getting to chapter 6 was a surprise. But that hyperfocus somehow held on for dear life and I was banging out chapters like nobody’s business. And people were responding to it. And I think that kind of went to my head a little? Not like in an “I deserve all this attention” kind of way, but more like a “People like?? This thing I’m doing??? I cannot squander this opportunity, I must give them m o r e” kind of way. It was the best I’d felt since the breakup and I didn’t really think I deserved it, so I kind of wanted to... prove I did, I guess, by writing everything I’d ever wanted in a lovesquare fic in hopes that people would keep liking it and me and I’d keep feeling nice. (I mean, I’d planned to add in a ridiculous amount of tropes anyway, I just ended up adding a lot more than I’d planned.)

On the one hand, people go nuts for that shit. On the other, it’s getting harder and harder to justify cramming all this shit into the same fic. This compulsion keeps fucking me over by giving me spur-of-the-moment ideas for sub-plots I never wanted and certainly didn’t properly think through before posting the foreshadowing or setup for — yet at the same time they’re usually thought of and integrated several chapters in advance so I can’t just... leave them out? And part of me kind of doesn’t want to?? And I’m trying with every fiber in my being not to rewrite just the first 3 chapters, let alone the entire fic. A side-effect of my FF.net history at 13 was Never Edit Anything. Yeah, I’ll do some spell-check. Maybe some rewording here and there. Sometimes I’ll post a chapter and come back sporadically over the next few days to change out some punctuation or whatever. But if I don’t like a section after writing for a while? Throw the Whole Ass Chapter out. After it’s posted? This Is Your Life Now.

let’s not talk about how everything after chapter 27 was supposed to go very differently

Never mind that, after writing a hundred thousand goddamn words in a year, one’s writing skill tends to evolve and increase over time. Not just in regards to vocabulary, but with consistency and pacing and structure. This means, of course, that I can’t ever reread my own writing without the Evil Writing Goblin in my brain telling me to start the whole thing over from scratch. It’s fine.

I suppose I could get a beta, but I’m very bad at taking critique and as I’m even worse at talking to people than I am at posting on time I don’t think that would work out very well.

The point of this goddamn novel is that TPoY means a lot to me, probably a lot more than people realize. It’s kinda dumb and very cheesy and absurdly long, but it was the first real thing I did for myself after my whole life fell apart. I will finish it!!

But it’s hard to write it right now. I’m trying— I’m writing four chapters at the same time right now (a bit less than 10,000 words combined at current count). I don’t want to try to rewrite the whole fic or keep “mischaracterizing” the characters or lose the suspense I’ve tried to build (or, God forbid, try to keep interest so hard it hurts the rest of the fic) and risk alienating readers. I can’t stress enough how much these supportive comments mean to me, even on something as silly as a fanfic. But I also don’t want to force myself to write it or write something just because other people might or might not like it and risk alienating me. So I’m stuck at a kind of anxiety-induced impasse with myself that’s just made worse by the fact that I’m having trouble writing anything at all at the moment.

Jesus Christ this was longer than I meant it to be. Please don’t take this as a pity-party or anything. I don’t want sympathy or, I don’t know, reassurance or anything, I just wanted everything to be Out There because it really is the most in-depth response I could give and y’all deserve an honest answer. Some of you guys have been reading since the beginning and I can’t express how much that means to me. I feel really bad when I haven’t updated in a long time, because I know my fic makes some people really happy!

And PLEASE don’t take this as a “STOP ASKING ME ABOUT TPOY GODDAMMIT” because this is the opposite of that. I FUCKING LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME ABOUT TPOY. I L I V E FOR IT. But it sucks when the only answer I have is “I don’t know when it’ll be up, sorry :( ”

I mean, that’ll probably still be the answer I give, unless I by some miraculous (heh) stroke of luck) start hyperfocusing on writing again.

But at least y’all kinda know why now.

#did someone call for Too Much Information??#BUT THANK YOU FOR YOUR MESSAGE I LOVE AND APPRECIATE YOU #I HOPE THAT ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION #[SEVERAL HEART EMOJIS]#tpoy fic #anon good nurse #Lady answers stuff

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