#i'll do the right thing. this is my fault. let me take accountability and try to empathize and talk things out.

[inkskinned]

i'm still trying to piece together the truth of it. when you left, you said: feel free to spin this narrative however you want. i have no idea if you were being cruel or if you just genuinely don't remember what you've done to me.

it's hard because i'd done so much of the work for you. i had seen the parts that flaked off, the rust underneath. i started separating you into two people - the one i loved, and the one who hurt me. i had this fantasy version of you - my partner - and then i had this stranger, a third person who would show up randomly to shatter me. i am deliriously glad i'm no longer with "the stranger". i miss the gentle (unreal?) "other" you terribly.

at first, i was so strict about my boundaries. i remember telling you to get the fuck out of my house if you were going to talk to me like that. by the end: i would justify your behavior for you, accepting even your mistreatment as "my fault" in the grand scheme. i look back on the person i was before you - smart, independent, confident - and i feel a strange sense of detachment. i don't even recognize me.

even in one of our last conversations, you said: if you want a partner that always talks warmly to you, find someone else. there was a time that a comment like that would have made me leave. and instead, somehow, i just placidly accepted that kind of thing. you were literally telling me that i wasn't allowed to have a reaction to your cruelty - and i just took it, because you'd so fully turned things around on me.

when people are faced with irrationality, a rational brain tries to make sense of it. this is the trap. they're lovely in the morning, gentle and blue-eyed and sweet. like nothing even happened, they breeze around the house and kiss you on the mouth. but at night; who is that? they snap almost randomly; flying into an impotent rage about just-about-anything. it just doesn't make sense. so the problem must be me, and my brain, and how i think.

the traumatized brain just wants peace. so maybe i'm misremembering. maybe you were just having a bad day. maybe it's actually me.

you eventually would fully turn on me and start implying that i am the bad actor in our relationship. that's what happens, right? that's literally in the playbook. you went to therapy for all of a month, told her a half-truth, co-opted therapyspeak. you figured out how to reframe your actions as "seeking peace." any time i stood my ground, i was "gaslighting." when i asked you to be more gentle, you said i was "tone policing." you said, randomly, i had emotionally manipulated you - i still have no idea what that's even specifically referring to. maybe my consistent requests for calmness and empathy?

and while i literally know better, and i'm sitting here, trained by you, thinking: wait, fuck. was i actually the person you made me out to be?

and the thing that scares me is that i literally do not know if you ever actually saw what you were doing to me. when you'd tell me how you remember arguments, you'd always summarize them in a way where you come off as gentle and easy: "i was trying to set an important boundary." what had actually happened was 15 minutes of you shouting at me i know you did something shady, just admit it already. eventually you'd say my reaction to your shouting (when i finally reacted, which usually happened around hour three) was inevitably "disappointing" and "another way i'm silencing your feelings."

how many times did i ask you - beg you - to just take accountability? looking back, i don't think i ever heard you say: you're right. the way i talked to you was wrong of me.

i am trying to tie together the two people into a full version of you in my head. yes, you made my coffee and made me laugh and spent hours on the phone with me. and yes - you would scream at me until i had to run away and hide behind something.

i wish i did have a narrative i could pull out and shape to my whim. i wish i did have some semblance of reality. instead i just stand here, strange and vibrating, wondering: what the fuck just happened?

[lcriedlastnight]

Accidentally saying I love you with Lando

tysm for your request anon, i appreciate it so much! p.s lando deserved that win today. max verstappen i am inside your walls.

tw: fem!reader, short and sweet, swears, lmk if there's anything you want me to add.

w/c: 1k

you and were a newer thing. you weren't new new, but new enough that you have not said those three little words to each other yet. you knew you loved lando since the third date, when even though he didn't like seafood, literally couldn't even stand being near the stuff, he took you to a sushi restaurant because you had never tried sushi and you wanted to give it a go. turns out you didn't like it either.

there had been a few times where you had almost let the words slip out your mouth but you had managed to bite your tongue at the last second. you would tell him when you were ready and when the time felt right.

lando was currently in spain for the spanish grand prix and this one was difficult. it was only the first race out of the three in the triple header and yet here you were, laying in yours and lando's shared bed, on facetime to him, close to tears. just seeing his face made you miss him more.

"come on honey, don't cry. don't do this to me. i don't want to watch you cry." lando frowns from his own hotel bed, the sheets too white compared to his usual ones. the bed too empty without you. you were usually really good with the distance but this was your first triple header with lando. there were double headers but even with those you made it to the last race so it was even less time. this time around you can't even go to one.

you sniffle as you try to stop your tears. you wipe your eyes with the sleeves of lando's jumper. "i know. i'm sorry. it's not your fault. i just miss you a lot tonight, lan." you express.

you can see lando nodding along with your words as you speak, you know it's not easy on him either. you sigh.

"okay. sorry. we can talk about something else now." you try your best to shake off the sadness. you can always cry when lando hangs up the phone.

"don't apologise, my sweet girl. i know it's hard, i'll try speak to you as much as i can. and i know i'll be busy but i'm back in monaco for the next three tuesdays." lando tried to find a positive in all of this. it was difficult.

you nod, with a hum taking his word into account. "not gonna let go of you for the full night on the tuesdays." you insist with such determination it makes lando's heart melt.

"is that a threat or a promise?" he asks, cheekily. that stupid smirk on his face as he tries his best to make you laugh. it works, not because it's funny but because his smirk always made you laugh.

"promise." you say through giggles. lando laughs along with you until he checks the time on the top of his phone. he sighs as it reads two am.

"m' gonna have to go now, honey. it's gettin' a little late." lando frowns like the words actually hurt him physically to say. you frown too but you understand so you don't put up any fight.

"g'night lan. speak to you tomorrow. i'm not working so call whenever you can i'll keep my day free for you." you bid him goodnight and send him a kiss through the phone screen. lando smiles at your cute gesture.

"night, honey. i'll call you whenever i can. i love you." it is quick but you catch it. lando blows you a kiss then ends the call. you didn't get a chance to say anything back. you don't think he even realises he said it. well he will now he's laying thinking about it. you think to yourself as you settle down on lando's side of the bed and fall asleep.

it's not until he returns home that it's spoken about. you are happy he loves you too and you are even happier that you didn't say it first. you were scared that if you said it first and lando didn't feel the same then he would break up with you. you let your mind carry you away sometimes.

you wait on the couch in your living room for lando to come in. you hear his key in the lock and the rolling of the wheels on his suitcase through the doorway. it makes you giddy but instead of leaping off the couch you stay where you are. lando notices you there and makes his way to you. he doesn't give you time to think before he is wrapping you up in a hug.

your head resting in the crook of his neck as he picks you up in the hug. you laugh at his strength. when your giggles die down thats when you hear him. he's mutter a quiet stream of "i love you"'s into your ear. this is when the tears spring to your eyes again. you pull his head out of your neck to really look at him.

"i love you too. you didn't let me say it back last time." you try to slip the joke in but lando doesn't laugh. no, he just springs forward, lips locking with yours in the sweetest kiss you've had yet from the brit. he pulls away put sends a quick few pecks to your lips, because he can never get enough of you.

you both spend the rest of the day repeating those words to each other like you have just found out what they mean. lando literally feels the need to shout them to everyone he see's in the airport as you wave him goodbye the next again.

while lando is on the flight with no internet he spends his free time typing the words 'i love you' out individually, over and over again then sending it to you just before he lands so that when he does actually land and you get the message. you will be reminded that you are all he thinks about even when you aren't with him.

[bratbarzal]

https://kawhh.tumblr.com/post/784202736767057920/im-sorry-to-any-anons-on-here-who-will-only-feel

I know you're most likely sick of talking about this by now but this rubs me the wrong way.

Its like she's trying to downplay it all as 'drama' all the time and its getting so tiring. I'm pretty sure i've been blocked as anon even though i was never mean and she won't actually say what is going on or let anyone try and discuss it even though she says she doesn't mind asking for her side on things?

I think it's really hard for me to speak on this element of the situation and not come across as a bitch, or that I'm unnecessarily targeting someone and deflecting blame from the person who is at fault - but I've skipped out on answering a lot of anons who have either sent me links to things (I've said before, this person has me blocked and I can't view them, so I haven't responded) or had something to say about how it's being handled on this end, but ultimately I do think this user is a part of the overall conversation - and I can't really ignore the impact their actions have had on everything that has happened since this all started last month

a point I really want to make by speaking on this is that it's important for everybody that these things are spoken about publicly, and spoken about honestly, regardless of personal bias, because Brynn's actions genuinely hurt people and caused genuine harm to the writing and reading community on here. ignoring it or sugarcoating it does not take away from the pain caused or the damage done, and it's important to look at multiple perspectives to form an opinion

** I never have and I never will condone hateful messages sent to anyone - that is not the purpose of me speaking on this - and I urge people who want to have any conversation with anybody about this to be respectful, constructive, and not to shout over what is a serious point to be made, because it gets us all nowhere **

under a read more because it's long:

will preface by saying, this is not me trying to stand here on my soap box and point fingers and say that anyone is to blame for brynn's blatant and persistent content theft but herself. that isn't why I'm responding to this. and like I said above, this user has me blocked, I have her blocked, there's no other way for me to speak on it but to do so publicly (as much as she might hold the opinion I have no need to do so) and I sort of just want to show how all of this has had a wider impact on others in this space

I'll also preface by saying kawhh has said throughout that she doesn't agree with Brynn's actions, but as I'll explain below - actions speak louder than words, and the words she's said just aren't enough.

for anyone blocked, this is the post in question:

*most screenshots throughout this post are going to look different bc some of them come from others that have sent these to me - oftentimes by people trying to make me aware as it’s assumed they are about me, I don't know if that's the case, and nor do I actually care, this isn’t me trying to insert myself - the general consensus seems to be that anyone who speaks on this situation is a mean girl, a bully, or a bitch, and I think whoever she's trying to apply that to, it's a problematic take to have. I’m including pictures for context because I can’t link to posts.

my first point from this, is that she does have a responsibility to speak on this situation, and the reason I'm so insistent on responsibility and accountability, is because this user has a documented pattern of choosing to ignore and sensor the facts in favour of platforming, enabling and excusing her friend, despite her repeated abhorrent actions

when announcing brynn's return to the platform in a post that was encouraging forgiveness and giving second chances (no mention of all the other chances given for her to do the right thing), there was also no mention of the specific things she did that caused her to delete in the first place. there were several mentions of "brynn's actions" with no specific detail of what those were, and when she was explicitly asked, she then linked to a post which was an apology from brynn (again, not detailing the full extent of these actions, with repeated references to "what she did" or "her actions" and not a single one explaining in clear, direct terms what that was) and an ask she answered that said "she was taking other people's work from other websites and posting it here, at least some of it" - it's a watered down version of the truth used as a manipulation tactic to people who aren't getting the full story to be able to make an informed decision. she keeps adding that "nobody is saying that stops the hurt" but her repeated disregard of the severity of everything does take away from it

the point I'm making here, is that in situations like this - where she was encouraging people to forgive and forget - there needs to be a clear, unbiased reference for what they are supposed to be forgiving and forgetting, and the repeated cover up, in my opinion, was deceptive and manipulative

there were several available, unbiased posts that she never reblogged to her audience - one including a statement from brynn herself, made with the utmost respect on that user's part, and including screenshotted proof and a clear intention for transparency - that she could have linked to, but she repeatedly disregarded these, and even belittled, shamed and blocked the people who posted them on multiple occasions - stating that people were "stirring the pot for drama", "cashing in on drama and poking around" "being rude or bullying" and engaging in "drama book clubs"

several points then stem from things being handled this way

one being the repeated disregard for how many times people did address this privately - there were screenshots in the aforementioned posts circulating at the time that showed this was addressed privately to brynn dating back to 2023, with her continuing to steal and lie - handling it privately was no longer an option

and the second being the way these statements then trickled down into vicious messages spread across to the people who had the integrity to speak on it, and were shamed and ~virtually spat on for doing so

*these are asks that were posted publicly, and I have no doubt don't reflect the extent of how many people this sort of stuff was sent to, I haven't said who they were sent to but if you read this and want me to, I'll happily do so - not including the vitriol that has been sent to me over the last month, because like I said above, I'm trying to make a point of how far and wide this stuff spreads when handled poorly, however (obviously as someone who had to witness some of the things sent my way, it is clear where the source of the hatred came from, and that is not me saying she herself sent any hate, but that her posts inspired such a reaction - including specific verbiage used within her posts/responses)

tying into the above, and going back to my point about responsibility, throughout the time brynn was then gone, this user was encouraging people to send anons to forward to brynn, actively engaging her in a toxic environment that she, herself, said was the cause of her stealing in the first place, didn't give her a chance to distance herself from it or reflect on why she, for so long and without regard for anybody's feelings, let herself be consumed by engagement on this site, and played a big part in her returning to the platform when a lot of her other friends (who have made public posts that I won't link, because this isn't about them) were actively encouraging her to stay away, grow and learn - friends who then faced the same level of backlash and anon hate when brynn returned despite them trying to help in private

*I am basing this off of the excuses that brynn herself gave for her actions, not any assumption or opinion.

*I'll follow on from this by saying, I understand wanting to try and lighten the load of what was happening for her friend, and wanting her to know that there were people that were worried or cared, but if you're putting out statements saying this whole thing was brought on by an obsession with attention, you should not then be weaponising said attention when the girl clearly needed to remove herself entirely for a chunk of time and reflect on her actions - and all of that while continuing to cover up the actual thing she did

**an anon has since pointed out to me that you cannot send an ask, even on anon, if you don't already have an account, meaning brynn was active when she claimed to be offline, had full access to any content kawhh was forwarding to her without the need to encourage anons to get involved, and in my opinion, anon messages were being utilised to garner sympathy and again, manipulate kawhh's audience - this is my opinion, you can make your own mind up on whether or not you believe in those intentions, I don't want to force it on you but I think it's important to include she had a presence when she claimed not to, and at a time when a lot of other people were dealing with the aftermath of her actions unfairly, and I can't speak on whether kawhh would have been aware of this, but regardless, the whole anon thing should never have been encouraged

and encouraging these sorts of asks obviously then led to a premature return (which again, from public posts and private conversations, I know others were actively encouraging brynn not to do), to an audience kawhh had built of people who did not know what brynn did entirely, and were led to believe others being "bitches" was the problem - there is a public response to one of kawhh's posts that I won't sc, bc the user who commented was doing so based off of a lack of information, but this post was basically saying "SHAME ON EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT BRYNN AND BEING MEAN ABOUT BRYNN, YOU WOULDN'T LIKE THE SAME THINGS BEING SAID ABOUT YOU", proving that there was a false narrative that had been created around the whole situation

obviously it caused another wave of hurt and upset when brynn did come back, at which point kawhh repeatedly platformed her, again, never mentioning the specifics or the extent of her previous actions, despite several "explanation posts" from both of them, trying to enforce her own bias on her audience, and reblogging posts from brynn to her audience who she thus far has withheld the complete truth from (which are still on her page at this moment in time, with, again, no acknowledgement of anything that came to light yesterday)

and this is the point I'm trying to make - and why I have a problem with "it's between me, brynn and her friends" - kawhh herself utilised her own following to create a platform for brynn to come back, and to do the exact same thing over again, therefore perpetuating the same hurt to more people than will ever come forward - people came to her for updates on brynn, with messages to send to brynn, and for an explanation of what she did because they trusted her

and while she has said in vague and non-committal phrases, that she doesn't agree with what brynn did, she has never once publicly held her to account to the following she then manipulated into engaging once more

labelling this entire thing as "drama" and acting like she is above it belittles what brynn did, which includes but is not limited to

stealing multiple fics from other platforms

stealing multiple fics from this platform

stealing multiple fics from her FRIENDS

stealing multiple IDEAS from her friends, posted in private forums, and claiming them as her own

using conversations with her friends or posts by her friends to suit her own content, and pretending like they were her own

*also important to use the correct wording - she didn't "copy writing for some of her posts" - she STOLE writing, oftentimes full fic, changing names only, and at this point with all the evidence shown and everyone who has come forward, it was not some of her posts. It spanned asks, blurbs, fics, mood boards etc, and is presumably most of what she posted, including even random things said in a text post and down to random meme reaction pictures used. Her entire presence and most of her interactions with others were based on plagiarism and theft.

all across multiple years, having been confronted multiple times, and all while refusing to actually, explicitly, say what she did whenever she apologised, and who she did it to - and I'll assume (having spoken to double digits at this point worth of people) it's because the depths at which this whole situation spreads would absolutely disgust people. she blocked people who called her out - people who ended up being bullied back into deleting any post calling her out after receiving anon hate and nasty comments - and she played innocent to anyone who approached her (there are multiple screenshots of messages calling her out, and she gives the same watered down excuses in each one)

assuming 2023 is as far as it does go back, people have been bullied into silence, and the point I'm making here, and the pattern I'm trying to show - is that you can see how something as seemingly innocent as not wanting to condemn a friend's actions to others, contributes to them continuing to purposely hurt others for their own gain

too many people have tried to handle this privately, and have ~unintentionally enabled her over time

all of the things said above have directly contributed to a toxic environment for others on this app, where anyone who speaks on it is sent hate, people who were privately trying to support their friend were sent hate, and someone who repeatedly hurt and stole from others was given a platform to do so

like I said in the beginning, I have no delusions that I can say all this without seeming like a bitch, or like I'm deflecting blame from who is truly responsible - and I have no expectations that kawhh will respond well to this, but something needs to be said when she's constantly undermining the situation while lying to her audience, making endless indirects, and all in the name of "staying out of drama land" and pointing the finger at "mean girls"

she is the one who consistently makes an effort to cover up what brynn did, and so when she continues to do it, she should own up to the fact she can't shirk responsibility for her part in it happening again

AGAIN, I don't condone hate sent to anyone - I'm trying to bring awareness to the multitude of ways in which dealing with this situation with such little regard for anyone but brynn, has caused a ripple effect throughout the community, and I'm hoping it opens some eyes who might have been convinced by the deceptive posts made by kawhh throughout this mess that there's more than one side to a story

I also understand this seems like a vast overreaction to this particular ask, but I had a lot of asks yesterday that I didn't respond to until I could gather my thoughts, and am using this as one singular response

[heavyhitterheaux]

The Marriage Pact Part 5 (Slight NSFW)

In Sickness and in Health

A/N: Buckle up this is a LONG one 🤭

Synopsis: You get some advice from Urban and confront Jack about how he's been acting towards you once you leave him high and dry in the middle of his world tour. All you want is for the two of you to be on the same page, but when something gets revealed to you, you have to decide what is the best thing for your peace of mind moving forward

Pairing: Fiance!Jack Harlow x Fiancée!Reader

Series Masterlist

Special thank you to @hoodharlow for giving me a few ideas 💕

Please Do Not Repost My Content Anywhere

"Baby, it's not a big deal!" Jack said once you had finally caught up with him later in the day since the text had gone unanswered.

The text bubble kept appearing and disappearing for about five minutes before Jack just stopped trying to explain it over text knowing that it wasn't going to go over well. But now that you were in front of him, it wasn't going well now either. 

"How is it not a big deal when you are basically all over her!?" You asked as you shoved your phone into Jack’s face that had the picture of him and Neelam and all he did was roll his eyes. Making you think that he wasn't taming anything that you were saying seriously.

"It is literally just a picture."

"With someone that I don't even like and I told you how I felt about her and what do you do? Take a picture with her while you're half naked."

"Your jealousy is showing again." Jack simply muttered and you couldn’t do anything but roll your eyes.

"Oh, I'm going to be showing a lot more than that if you don't get your fucking shit together. And it's not jealousy. It is literally about respecting me as your partner and who is about to be your wife! Or did you suddenly forget that you put this ring on my finger?"

"I didn't forget a damn thing and I have my shit together, it's you who is so damn insecure. So every woman that I take a picture with, you think I want to sleep with them knowing that I have you? You're it for me and I don't want anyone else. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that."

All you did was stare at him. Once he had called you insecure, you didn't hear anything else after that.

He knew that saying that would hurt you based on you telling him that your ex would constantly say that and would gaslight you into thinking that everything that went wrong in the relationship was your fault and wouldn't take accountability for what he had done wrong.

"Shit, baby, I didn't….." Jack started to say as he realized what he had said previously and was trying to backtrack, but you weren't having it.

All you did was hug yourself as you stepped away from him. It was something that you had been working on and you knew that it was going to take time in order to break out of that mindset.

"Y/N, I didn't mean that and I know how…"

"If you didn't mean it then you wouldn't have said it. I have things to do so I guess I'll see you later."  You said while trying to turn away from him, but he pulled you back.

"Baby, just listen to me for a second. Please." Jack pleaded with you as he grabbed your hand, but a verbal answer didn't come out of your mouth until you knew he wasn't going to let this go. 

"No, I'm not doing this with you right now."

"We don't run away from our problems, we talk about them."

"Wouldn't have to talk about them if you didn't keep creating them." 

That instantly made him go quiet.

"We just wanted to take a picture. That was it."

All you did was stare at him before you even bothered to respond.

"Like I said, I guess I'll see you later."

"Baby, I'm sorry, okay? If I would have known that you would be this upset about it, I wouldn't have done it."

"Why wouldn't you think I would be this upset seeing as she definitely isn't my favorite person to be around? And I don't like her being around you so much." You asked while looking up at him.

"Here we go again with this shit. It is literally HER JOB."

"A job that I have had for how many years? And all of a sudden you and Chris decided that I need help?"

"How many times are we going to go over this?" Jack asked you while running a hand through his curls.

"As many times as it takes to get through your thick skull because obviously it hasn't worked quite yet." You answered while sitting down, but Jack took this opportunity to sit down next to you and slide you onto his lap no matter how hard you were trying to get away from him.

"I love you, you know that right? And like I said, I'm sorry and it won't happen again."

"Do I?"

"Y/N, come on. Don't be like that."

"How can I not be like that?"

"Like I said it won't happen again and I'm not letting you get up until you tell me you love me."

"I love you, now let me get up."

"I…. seriously?" Jack asked as he looked at you and all you did was shrug.

"I told you now I have things to do. Let me go."

"Hold on. What can I do to make this up to you?" He asked as he kissed your nose and smiled at you with those blue eyes that you loved so much. 

All you did was look down and play with your engagement ring and kept quiet until you heard Jack speak again.

"How about it's just me and you for the rest of the day? No distractions."

"Hmm…."

"No phones, just me loving up on my baby girl. So what do you say?"

"No interruptions?" You asked and all Jack did was smirk.

"Baby, I'm putting the do not disturb sign on the door to the hotel suite and putting my phone on DND. Is that a good answer?"

"I guess it's a good start." You said while shrugging even though deep down you knew for a fact that you were letting this slide a little too easily. However, arguing and fighting with Jack was one of the last things that you ever wanted to do. It took too much energy and if he said that it wasn't going to happen again, you were going to take his word for it. All you could do was hope that he didn't go back on it.

"Good because I already have everything set up. I was going to do this today anyway, just as a thank you for everything you do for me. That's why I had you go out with Ari earlier."

"I… you didn't have to do that." You said while shaking your head as Jack stood up and placed you on your feet.

"Yes I did. You're important to me and I never want you to forget that. We're in this for the long haul." Jack answered as he leaned down to kiss you.

"No one or anything is ever going to come between us because I'm not going to let them." He added while starting to pull your top over your head.

"I want to take a bath with my fiancée, how does that sound?"

"It sounds good. No complaints from me."

Jack simply nodded as he continued to undress you and finally got himself undressed as he went to run the water.

When it was warm enough, he got in first so that you would be able to sit in front of him and held onto your hand to help you so that you wouldn't fall.

Once you were settled all you did was lean against Jack's chest as he wrapped his arms around you and kissed down your neck.

"I love you and I'll never get tired of saying it." Jack softly whispered in your ear before kissing underneath it.

"I love you too. I just…. want us to be on the same page. I don't like arguing with you. I don't think we ever got into this many disagreements before."

"And I don't like arguing with you either or getting you upset. That's literally the last thing I want. My job is to take care of you and not hurt you. I haven't done a very good job of that lately, but I promise that things will be different moving forward."

"I'm holding you to that."

—

"Baby I…." You breathlessly let out as you and Jack got into a comfortable rhythm.

He promised to take his time with you and he was doing just that while also making sure that no one disturbed the two of you with both phones being placed on DND and face down on the dresser in the bedroom.

Jack then placed both of your legs on his shoulders making the hold that you had around his neck grow tighter.

"That's it, pretty girl. You're taking me so well." Jack said as he placed several kisses upon your lips and slowed down.

"You feel so good around me and I know I'm not about to last much longer."

Jack then slid out of you and took one long lick across your folds which instantly made you gasp.

"Mmm, baby don't stop, don't stop." You told Jack as your hands made their way to his curls and simply held his head in place while he continued to pleasure you.

"Shiiiit." Jack then inserted three of his fingers while still keeping his mouth on you and you were doing your best to stay quiet since the last thing you wanted to hear was a noise complaint because you were too loud. It didn't matter if you two had your own suite or not.

Jack then slid his fingers out of you and instantly went to suck on your clit and made sure to hold you down because he knew if he didn't that you would try and move away from him.

At this point, no sounds were even coming out of your mouth because of how much pleasure that you were in and it was only a matter of time before you came all over Jack’s face.

In order to get you to your peak faster, Jack sucked your clit harder  and without warning, you felt a gush of liquid release from you and cover Jack’s face as you let out a gasp, but he obviously didn't think anything of it as he still continued to pleasure you.

Once you had finally come down from your high, Jack then slid back into you making the both of you moan in pleasure.

You then noticed him increase his pace as you held him tighter knowing that he was close.

Not even a minute later, you felt him release in you as he collapsed on top of your chest as you kissed down his neck.

"I don't know what I did to get you to squirt all over my face, but I'm definitely going to try to make it happen again." Jack said as he leaned down to kiss you and he noticed that you were shying away from him.

"What's wrong?" Jack asked as he began caressing your face.

"I just…."

"Nothing to be embarrassed about, baby. Just happens sometimes when I make you feel good. I know we're both still learning what you like and don't like and I'm always going to go at your pace, okay?"

All you did was nod as Jack leaned down to place several kisses all over your face before going to your lips and all you did was flip him over onto his back startling him.

"Damn, I knew you were strong but I wasn't expecting that shit." Jack expressed as he looked up at you straddling him.

"I want you to teach me how to ride you." You said and could tell that he was startled by this.

"Are you sure you can go another round? I don't want to…"

"Yes I'm sure, so hurry up."

"Class is in session then. I'm loving this view already."

A few days had passed and you were finalizing the details of the mini trip that you were taking Jack on to surprise him to give him a much needed break from tour life. He had a week and a half off in total and three of those days would be used to fly the two of you to Japan in order to take him to the Pokémon museum since you knew that he had never been before while the other days the two of you were going to spend wedding planning.

You told everyone under the sun not to book anything for Jack for those particular days and you were excited to be able to have him all to yourself. You had been planning this for a while and couldn't wait to see the look on his face when you told him.

All of you were at dinner after one of Jack’s shows and you had been stealing food off of his plate when you suddenly heard Neelam pipe up.

"Oh, Jack, I booked you for a photoshoot and interview next week. On Wednesday and Thursday."

"Okay, that's fine." He responded not thinking anything of it but you looked at her as if she had three heads.

"Um no it's not fine. I have said from the beginning of this tour to not book anything for the next week and a half. You should have cleared that with me or Chris, but I see you just went on and did your own thing."

"I didn't think it was a big deal. It's a good opportunity for him to get a few more things in before Christmas."

"Well it is a big deal seeing as the bulk of those days were for wedding planning and for something I had planned for him. I obviously said not to schedule him for anything during those days for a reason."

"Baby, it's not a big deal, can't you just move it?" Jack asked not wanting an argument to ensue, but it looked like one was about to happen anyway.

All because he took her side.

"Did you just say to me that it's not a big deal?" You asked while looking over at Jack who looked as if he was trying to choose his next words carefully.

"Uh oh." Was all Urban whispered before taking another bite of his food.

"We do things together all the time, it's just one thing and the wedding planning can still happen. I'd rather do the interview and photoshoot during my break from tour anyway. Just get it out the way."

"That still doesn't excuse the fact that Neelam over here is not staying in her lane and respecting boundaries." You said while crossing your arms and looking at her.

"I got 100 dollars on Y/N." 2fo whispered to Quiiso who quickly nodded his head to agree.

"What the? What is your actual problem? I was hired to do a job and I am doing said job. Not my fault you're so focused on wedding planning and not your soon to be husband's actual career." Neelam said and everyone at the table looked at you for your response.

"Excuse me? Who the actual fuck are you talking to because I know for damn sure that it isn't me. I have done this for more than ten years by myself and I damn sure don't need your help. So do me a favor and learn to stay in your place like I said. You're lucky that you didn't get your ass beat because of that picture you decided to take with my man knowing that you had absolutely no business doing so."

"And this is the one you're supposed to marry soon? You could definitely do better." Neelam said to Jack and that could be heard was a collective gasp at the table.

"So, Jackman, you're actually going to let her talk to me like that?"

"Can we just drop this? I'm doing the photoshoot and interview."

"And just forget about what I have planned?!"

"I have the opportunity in front of me so I want to take it. Like I said, we can change things around to do it later."

All you did was nod your head and simply slid your chair out from the table in order to leave.

"Fine. Urby, do you want to go with me to the Pokémon museum in Japan since Jack doesn't want to?"

"Oh shit. You didn't say that's what it was!" Jack said while looking at you, but all you did was roll your eyes.

"Anyway, Urby. Do you want to go? Everything is booked."

"I… well…"

"Never mind. I'll ask Ari and make it a girls trip but as of right now, good fucking night." 

The next day, you woke up early and kept yourself busy to avoid having to run into Jack. Even though the two of you slept in the same room, you were asleep before he got back and was gone before he woke up. He had been blowing up your phone left and right, but you weren't giving him the time of day. 

Future Hubby- Baby, where are you? I haven't seen you all day

You- and you're not going to

Future Hubby- Come on Y/N, I didn't know that was what you had planned. I feel shitty about it.

You- It doesn't fucking matter. If I said that I had something planned for you, the courteous thing to do is go along with it because of all of the time and effort I put into it. And do you feel shitty? Because the fact that you didn't defend me last night from her speaks volumes. Go bother Neelam since you want to be up her ass so bad.

Jack tried to send you another text, but soon realized that you had blocked him.

He was currently with Neelam and Urban at the moment and all he did was sigh.

"Nee, let's get something straight. Do not ever disrespect my girl again. She knows me a lot better than you do and knows what I need. I know you’re trying to help, but I just want the two of you to get along. But please realize that my future wife is not going anywhere."

"Hmm a little too little too late for that." Urban muttered under his breath and Jack shot him a look. 

"But she…"

"But nothing. That's my girl and what she says goes. If you want to plan something, clear it with her moving forward."

"I just want to help since that's the whole reason I was brought on."

"And you can help without stepping on anyone's toes. Don't let it happen again."

While all of this was going on, Urban had been texting you and letting you know what had been happening.

Urby- Ooh look who finally grew some balls and stood up for his wife!

You- He can shove it for all I care. Too little too late. 

Urby- Same thing I said smh but he did put her in her place even if it should have been done months ago. Oh and he's asking if you could unblock him

You- No.

Urby- I'll relay the message lol

Next thing you knew, you had an incoming facetime call from Urban and knew it was Jack calling. And sure enough when you answered you were right.

"Baby! Unblock me!"

"And what makes you think you deserve to be unblocked?"

"Stop playing! Because I'll be your husband soon."

"And that's the best answer that you can come up with?"

"Please baby girl. I love you and I'm sorry."

"All you've been doing is apologizing lately and I'm sick of it."

"I know… I…"

"Bye Jackman."

Without another word you hung up.

It was now around 11 at night and Jack was knocked out cold when you went to go and find Urban. You did end up unblocking him however, you still didn't want to talk to him.

Urban had let you in and the two of you were now outside as he listened to how you felt about what had been happening regarding Jack lately.

"Come on Y/N,  you had to have seen this coming from a mile away."

"How could I have seen this coming?" You asked Urban while you sat across from him on the balcony. You know he had to have been looking for you by now, but your phone still hadn't gone off with so much as a text message or a call. It was almost as if he didn't even care and that bothered you to no end.

"You know he’s a whore and it's always been like that, you turned a blind eye before but now that you're on the receiving end, everything isn't always what it seems huh? As much as he brushes it off, he is still insecure and embraces any type of attention that women give him even though by now he should only want that attention from you." Urban told you and you couldn’t help but for your eyes to water.

"Urby…."

This was the last thing that you wanted to hear right now.

"You thought that he would change for you? I mean that's fair seeing as how much he loves and cares about you, but is that enough to make him do it? I mean you said yes to marrying him so you are just as responsible for this as he is. He's my best friend too, but he has shown you time and time again the traits of someone who doesn't actually want to be tied down or married." Urban quietly confessed as he took a swig of his Modelo. 

"Then why in the world would he ask me to marry him in the first place? That's a serious commitment."

"Because he knows that you're the only one that is going to put up with his shit, no matter what he does and no matter how much it might affect you as horrible as that sounds. He knows that you're always going to be there. Just because his ass turned thirty doesn't mean that the maturity aspect is there. Y/N, I am in no way, shape, or form trying to hurt your feelings, like I said in the beginning, the last thing I want to see is both of you heartbroken but especially you. You don't deserve this."

"I just don't know what to do anymore. It's a continuous cycle. He does something that I don't like, I get pissed off, he apologizes, and does something else and the cycle continues. But this one takes the cake. How could he side with her when I have been there for him through everything? I have never steered him wrong and I have always had his best interest." At that point, Urban had handed you one of your favorite wine coolers knowing that this was going to be a long night.

"You know what you need to do. Put yourself first and I guarantee that will be the wake up call he needs to get his shit together."

"Does he even want to marry me anymore? That's the ultimate question."

"Now the only person that can answer that is him, but from the outside looking in…. Would you want to be married to someone who disrespected you like that yesterday?"

“I guess not.”

“You’ve been living in a fantasy world and now it’s time to wake up.”

You stayed with Urban for about another hour or so and you decided to take his advice.

From now on, you planned on putting yourself first.

When Jack had woken up later on the next morning with his alarm blasting in his ear, he reached over for you and frowned when he noticed that your side of the bed was empty and cold meaning that you hadn’t been there next to him for quite some time.

All he did was sigh as he got up and started to get ready for the day, figuring that he would see you at some point and hoping that you at least were a little less mad at him than you were yesterday. 

Once he had finished getting ready, he figured that he would at least check your location to see where you were since the two of you shared it with each other at all times just in case to be safe and got an even bigger frown on his face when he saw that you had turned yours off. 

He couldn’t even remember the last time you had done that and immediately hit your contact in order to call you. He needed to know where you were and if you were safe. 

He called you at least three times and was immediately sent to voicemail before he began to send a series of texts, hoping that you would at least answer those.

Future Hubby- Baby, why is your location off? Where are you? You know we always keep it on

Future Hubby- Hold on, where the hell are all your bags?! 

Future Hubby- Y/N, answer me right now. Where are you and what is going on?!?!

When he didn’t get an answer from you, he immediately called Urban.

“Hello?”

“Urb, where’s my girl? Have you seen her?”

“Well, good morning to you too and no. After our talk last night…..” Jack immediately cut him off.

“Wait, after what talk? What is going on?”

“All I’m going to tell you is that you need to realize what you have before you lose it. Do what you will with that information.”

“What did she tell you? All of her bags are gone and she turned off her location. We always know where the other person is at all times. I just need to know that she’s safe.”

“It’s not my place to tell you what she told me but if the two of you are going to get married a lot of things need to get fixed before you do.”

“I’ll talk to her, but can you just tell me if you see or hear from her?”

“Sure. Hmm, I wonder if this has to do anything with me telling her to put herself first.” Urban said while thinking out loud.

“Urb!”

“What?! Not my fault you’ve been treating your girl like shit. You made your bed so lie in it. You should have stood up to Neelam and took up for her when that whole thing went down at dinner, but instead you did it the next day. So many situations that you have put yourself in when it didn’t have to be that way. If you want to marry her so bad, you need to show her that you value her and that she’s important to you because right now from the outside looking in, it looks like you want the single life with having marriage benefits.”

“I don’t want to be single!”

“You could have fooled me. You need to show her that you are in and I mean all in. Hopefully you fix it before it’s too late. I take it you haven’t seen her instagram story either?”

Jack put him on speaker before going to look at it and his stomach dropped.

You had postponed the wedding.

y/n added to their story

Meanwhile you were back in Louisville at your condo puking your guts out for the fifth time today. This had been going on for the last two weeks, but you didn’t say anything or mention anything to anyone thinking that it was just a stomach bug and that it would pass. However, when you touched down in Louisville and hit your favorite bakery to get a few different snacks to take home with you, the smell of your favorite cupcakes made you nauseous and you then became nervous.

Bottom line is that you knew what this was.

You had watched enough television shows and seen it in real life among your family members and friends to know there was only one clear cut explanation for what was going on with you.

You were pregnant and needed to take a test and make an appointment with your OB/GYN to confirm it and you were absolutely terrified.

“So much for being on birth control.” You muttered to yourself as you gripped the sink to help you get up from the floor and heard your phone ringing from the bedroom.

Without even having to go and look at it, you knew it was Jack since he had a different ringtone than everyone else.

You knew he was probably freaking out since you were nowhere to be found and you turned off your location which you knew he was probably pissed about since that was something that the two of you never did. 

Not bothering to answer him, you dabbed at your face with a warm washcloth before brushing your teeth and grabbing your wallet and keys to go to the nearest drug store in order to get the test along with some ginger ale and saltines in the hopes of settling your stomach.

It was only a matter of time before Jack would be on your doorstep and it probably would be in less than 24 hours.

Well, Jack found out last week that Gabrielle’s baby wasn’t his all to now eventually find out that you were now pregnant.

That was about to be a hell of a conversation since he was currently the last person that you wanted to be around.

You were tired of giving him so many chances and as you played with your engagement ring, you started to wonder if you had made the right decision by saying yes to him.

Bottom line was that if you were to slip the ring off and give it back to him at this very moment, you probably wouldn’t regret it. But you knew yourself better than that. Down the line you definitely would.

You were now going to be someone’s mother and had to set a good example for them even if that included not marrying their father. 

Jack had touched down in Louisville later that afternoon in the hopes of hopefully finding you since he knew this was your safe space, just like it was his. He was going to see his parents first before setting out to go and find you and was hoping that they had seen you so that the search could be kept short.

But once he entered the house, he was surprised to see you in the kitchen with Maggie hovering over the stove and sipping on sparkling water. Once his mom spotted him she had nothing but a smile on her face, while you on the other hand just kept a straight face and turned back to the stove in order to continue making the sauce for the pasta dish you were helping Maggie make. 

“So, do you have something to tell me?” Maggie asked while looking over at Jack, who looked back at her confused.

“Tell you what?”

All Maggie did was continue to smile as she looked between the both of you but you weren’t uttering a word.

“Y/N, I see why you came home early from tour and I can only imagine how traveling would take a toll on your body. And of course this one over here had to come and check on you in order to make sure that you were okay. You did the right thing by coming home and being close to us as well as your parents. You know we’ll look after you until Jack finishes up and can be here full time with you.”

“I’m lost, can someone fill me in?” Jack asked as he tried to make eye contact with you, but you just weren’t giving him the time of day. 

“Oh, like you don’t know. No need to be like that. I can’t wait to plan for the baby shower.”

It was at that moment Jack’s heart fell out of his ass.

All he could do was mouth ‘What the fuck is she talking about?’ to you and all you did was look at him with a tight lipped smile before mouthing back ‘It’s not yours.’ which instantly made him roll his eyes since he knew for a fact that it was his.

“And I absolutely love this shirt, Y/N. Did you get one for your mom too so we can match?” Maggie asked you as she held up a shirt that you bought her that said Worlds Best Grandma and Jack just knew he was going to faint while you were steadily quiet and tasting the sauce to see if it had enough seasoning in it. 

“Yes, I got her one too. She’ll get hers tomorrow since she flew home to visit my grandma in D.C. And the food is just about ready.”

“Umm, where’s dad and Clay?” Jack asked while he looked around and tried to keep his stomach from being in knots.

“They were out doing something so we made sure to make enough for them so they have it when they come back.”

As you were trying to eat your food in the hopes that it wouldn’t come back up, Jack was sending you texts left and right.

Future Hubby- You better stop playing because this shit isn’t funny. Now are you actually pregnant?

You- Who’s this?

Future Hubby- BABY STOP PLAYING. I’M BEING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW SO CAN YOU PLEASE ANSWER MY QUESTION?

You- It isn’t yours so why are you worried about it?

Future Hubby- Now we all know that’s a lie. And why did you just leave without saying anything? Do you know how worried I was about you? Don’t ever do that again without saying anything to me. I thought something had happened to you. And postponing the wedding?! Without saying anything to me!?

You- You’re lucky I didn’t call it off completely with how you’ve been acting towards me. Eat your food and stop texting at the dinner table. It’s rude.

The rest of the dinner was awkward between you and Jack and luckily Maggie didn’t notice anything was off between the two of you. She was simply on cloud nine with the fact that she was going to be a grandmother and that was the only thing she could talk about. However,  you knew that this was about to be a whole ordeal with the two of you finally got home.

And you were going to let him have it and not hold anything back. 

The two of you drove separately and once the both of you were parked in the driveway, Jack got out first before jogging over to you to open your car door for you.

He held out his hand for you to take and you simply brushed him off. 

“Baby, please. I know you’re mad….”

“Don’t start with me, Jackman. I’m tired and I want to lay down.” You said while walking up to the front door and sliding the key in.

“But we have to talk about this. You’re pregnant with our kid, didn’t tell me and also postponed the wedding and didn’t tell me. I had to find out through your instagram post so what the hell is going on?! You just left!” Was all that you heard Jack say from behind you as you entered the house and you took a deep breath before you rolled your eyes and turned around to face him.

“Because I am so utterly sick of your shit! For you to tell me that you love me so much, it sure doesn’t feel like it! There was a time that you would prioritize me and we weren’t even in a relationship! You don’t even do that now and we are!”

“I know I’ve messed up, but…”

“That’s putting it lightly.” 

“I just…”

“No, there isn’t any excuse that you can pull out of your ass to make me instantly forgive you for everything that you’ve done. Our so-called friendship has literally turned to shit ever since I said yes to marrying you and I’m wondering if I even made the right decision by letting you put this ring on my finger.”

“Y/N… you don’t mean that. I don’t want anyone else but you!”

“Really? Because you sure don’t act like you do. You had the nerve to call me insecure, but so are you because you have to seek validation from every single woman that you come across and I have absolutely no idea when you got like that. I have told you from the beginning that you have always been more than enough and not to change for anyone, but I don’t even think I recognize the person standing in front of me anymore. Is it to make me jealous? Let me know that you have options and can leave me the second that you get tired of me? All I want is for us to be on the same damn page and now we have to add a child into this hot mess express.”

“I never looked at it like that, but I don’t plan on leaving you for anybody!”

“Did you ask me to marry you because you knew that no other woman would probably put up with all of your shit and always be there for you?” You asked and Jack looked at you in disbelief.

“I asked you to marry me because I love you! How many times do I need to say that?!”

“Or is it because your whoring days are over with so you figured hmm let me just marry Y/N so I won’t be single for the rest of my life.”

“Where is all this coming from?! You know I hate arguing with you and us being at odds. For the last time, I asked you to marry me because I love you and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you and keep in mind YOU AGREED.”

“And that was before I knew you were going to lie to my face, let people talk down to me, and almost have a baby on me.”

“Can we just sleep on this and talk about it again in the morning? I don’t want to do this with you or end up saying something that I’m going to regret.”

“It doesn’t matter because I’m leaving. I’ve said my piece.”

“You are not going anywhere and it is literally pouring outside. I want you safe. You already ran away from me once and I for damn sure am going to do anything in order to prevent it from happening again.”

“I am leaving because I don’t want to look at you and I’m convinced that you don’t even love me like you claim that you do.”

“Now you’re talking utter bullshit. I would give up everything for you in a fucking heartbeat, but because of the person that you are you wouldn’t let me do that! You don’t do that for people that you don’t love! And we need to talk about you postponing our wedding without even letting the groom fucking know.”

“At this point, do you even deserve to? The only reason why you found out I was pregnant is because Maggie said something. Because I didn’t want to talk to you.”

All Jack did was run a hand through his curls as you were now making your way to the front door.

“Baby!”

“Don’t fucking call me that!”

“Do not leave this house!”

“And who the fuck are you to give me orders? Last time I checked, I was a grown ass woman and can do whatever the fuck I want.”

“Just… I’ll sleep in the guest bedroom if you don’t want to be near me, but just please don’t leave.” Jack pleaded with you as he grabbed your hand, but all you did was shake your head.

“You have a show tomorrow so I suggest that you fly back at at least eleven in the morning so that you’ll be there on time. Good fucking night.”

“I’m not flying anywhere until we fix this!”

“Oh, Neelam won’t miss you too much?” You sarcastically said before snatching your hand out of his.

“Y/N…..”

“I don’t think I should be your manager anymore since you want to go along with what she says all the damn time so she’ll have you all to herself.”

“WHAT?! We are NOT doing this right now!”

“Well, I am. Now me and my baby are going to get some rest in my condo and if you don’t stop getting on my fucking nerves and hurting me, the next time you’ll see me will be in the delivery room. Now for the last time, good night.”

As much as he didn’t want to, Jack watched you go to your car and back out of his driveway and knew that he could only be frustrated with himself. He was going to do everything that he possibly could in order to get back in your good graces and prove to you that you were in fact the only person that he wanted to be with for the rest of his life. 

The only reason why the two of you were at this point was because of him so he couldn’t put the blame on anyone else. You had given him chance after chance only for him to keep disappointing you every single time.

To try and relax, he hopped into the shower and had placed his phone on the sink just in case you called him or needed him for something, but at this point he highly doubted it.

He stayed under the warm water for about thirty minutes when he got out and checked his phone to see that you had turned your location back on and he could now see it.

Jack was about to put it back down, but did a double take when he noticed that you weren’t moving anywhere and that you were still only three blocks from your shared house. Almost an hour had passed and you should have been at your condo by now even if it had been raining.

As he held his phone, a call from an unknown number came through and he had a gut wrenching feeling that it had to do with you and why it had your location showing at a standstill.

“Hello?”

“Mr. Harlow? This is Dr. Spencer from Norton hospital in downtown Louisville. Your fiancée Y/N Y/L/N has been in a car accident.”  

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[heartofbusan]

Pretty terrifying outlook, not going to lie. I usually need a while to unglue myself from feeling anxious whenever anything this monumental happens, and I hope sheer apathy isn't what does it. I need that to come from something concrete, something real. Something that makes me feel hopeful about the future.

You know, I honestly don't think I'll ever see BTS live. Ive always wanted to, but it just never felt like a possibility. Right now, the prospect of fighting for tickets seems so pointless that I'd rather give up before I even try. Isn't that just so sad? Shouldn't we all feel like doing something as frivolous as going to a concert is something worth a little struggle? I just hate confrontation. I also hate unfair fights. If someone isn't willing to meet me on fair terms, I'd rather not bother.

I hope that whatever Kamala takes away from this past year is that she doesn't feel like this defeat was all down to her. She did her utmost best in an unfair fight. Having to drag the carcass of your predecessor along your path to a better future wasn't an easy task. The odds were not in her favor no matter what she did or didn't commit to. Again, it's the institution that has to admit their fault in getting us all here.

Somewhere in the back of my mind, I fear for what this shift in power means for our boys. If you've been following global news at all, you'll already know that for SoKor, too, the odds aren't looking great. But I can't succumb to this line of thinking. They have already overcome too much to get sucked into a vortex greater than even their reach.

Let's sit with this news and then see what tomorrow or a week or a month brings. Do the small things that make you feel good. And, if possible, save something extra for your bts savings account, so you can become a fighter in a race for a little bit of tangible hope.

[wowbright]

Anderson’s Guide to the Birds of North America, Chapter 10: Magic

Summary: Fourteen scenes from the lives of Blaine Anderson, grad student and avid birder, and Kurt Hummel, clothing designer and Vogue writer, from before their first meeting during the COVID lockdowns of spring of 2020 through falling in love. Written for the Klaine Valentine’s Challenge 2025.

Also on AO3.

~~~

Chapter 10: Magic

With people being discouraged from taking public transportation except for work, Blaine hadn't had a chance to go to some of his favorite spring birding spots.

“I wish I could show you the salt marshes,” he told Kurt one day when they were walking through the neighborhood toward the nearby cemetery so that Kurt could practice using his “new” binoculars somewhere people wouldn't accuse him of looking in their windows (which, to be fair, he did do sometimes; he had given Blaine a very detailed description of the wallpaper in the living room of Mrs. Finkelstein from across the street—Blaine couldn't fault Kurt for looking, the design sounded so fascinating—as well as an adorable rundown of mispronounced book titles from the shelves of the Nordic literature professor who lived above her). “They attract such an incredible variety of birds. You could double your life list in an afternoon, I bet.”

“Considering that my life list is only around five birds right now, I expect to be doubling it today at the cemetery.”

“You've seen more than five different species since we met.”

“Yes, but I only started keeping track on eBird yesterday.”

Blaine laughed. “Good thing I've kept lists of all our neighborhood sightings. I'll share them with you when I get home and you can add them to your account.”

“So where are these mysterious salt marshes, anyway? They sound like something you’d find in the Outer Banks of North Carolina.”

“Yes, probably. But you can also find them here in New York City along the shore. There's an amazing one a few miles from here. It's got great birding even outside of the migration, because of all the different habitats there—water and reeds and a bit of coastal forest. But I haven't been able to get there this year for obvious reasons.”

“You don't have a bike?” Kurt asked.

“No. I never needed one. Transit got me everywhere I needed to go that I couldn't walk to.”

“Rachel and I both have bikes. I'm sure she'd let you borrow hers. And if she doesn't, I'll just steal it from her on a temporary basis.”

Blaine chuckled again. He loved the way Kurt made him laugh. He had almost forgotten how to do it in those first few weeks of lockdown. But now, whenever he was with Kurt, he found himself laughing all the time—because Kurt said something funny, or because everything they did together felt new and exciting, or because Blaine had so many joyful feelings that they bubbled out his nose in tiny puffs of air.

“I'd love that,” Blaine said. “And I’d be happy to give it a thorough dousing with bleach before I give it back to her.”

“You are such the consummate gentleman, Blaine Anderson,” Kurt said.

Blaine giggled.

There was promise in the air as they entered the cemetery. They were the only ones there but the birds, singing and chattering and calling their morning communications. Blaine could pick out cardinals and song sparrows amid the robins and housefinches. He pointed his binoculars through the gravestones toward a forsythia bush, trying to track down a chipping sparrow whose call he’d just heard.

“A yellow-rumped warbler!” Kurt gasped.

“Where!?”

Kurt was standing five paces away, his binoculars in front of his face and trained in Blaine’s direction. Blaine turned around to follow Kurt’s line of sight. “In that juniper?”

“No, no,” Kurt said. “It's right where you're standing. Look down.”

Blaine looked passed the hem of his yellow chinos toward his feet. He twisted to look behind his feet. He looked to his left, then to his right. “I don't see it.”

“Too bad. I'm getting a great view.”

Blaine looked over his shoulder again. He tried again to link the angle of the binoculars with some object.

“I never knew their rumps could be so shapely,” Kurt said, his voice unusually flirtatious for describing a bird.

Oh.

Heat rose to Blaine's face. Delight bubbled out of him yet again in the form of laughter.

Kurt was looking at Blaine’s ass—and enjoying the view.

“So I’m the yellow-rumped warbler, am I?” Blaine asked.

Kurt grinned. “The finest I've ever seen.”

[arisuworld]

—ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE—

DISCLAIMERS:

1. Strong language (i swear a lot), sarcasm ahead, tough love typa shit. This is meant to be helpful and reassuring but I'm not going to treat y'all like you're made of sugar and talk like I'm from 50 years ago. Deal with it or not.

2. English isn't my first language. So, there can be many grammatical mistakes.

Yes, you read it right. Only you can change your life not your favourite goddess blogger then WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU ASKING THEM TO MANIFEST FOR YOU? GURLLL REALLY? DO YOU THINK THEY'RE ABOVE YOU? DO YOU THINK YOU'RE LESS OF A GOD JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE NOT ENTERED VOID YET? GURL, you have your whole life ahead you. If you will let some limiting beliefs hold you back from achieving the things you deserve, then that's it. It's done. You're never going to get your desires or desired life and YOU WILL HAVE NO ONE TO BLAME BUT YOURSELVES!!

Now now, do not come for me. I said what I said and I mean it 100%. (And I'll prove it below)

Tell me honestly, why haven't you manifested your desires by now? Why? What's the reason?

— LACK OF PERSISTENCE? LACK OF DISCIPLINE? LACK OF FAITH? OVERCONSUMPTION? PROCRASTINATION? LAZINESS? LACK OF DETERMINATION? INABILITY TO ACCEPT A FAILURE?

So now, who's fault is that? Start taking accountability for your procrastination and lack of persistence. Because if you won't, then you will not be disciplined enough to achieve your desires.

All i want to say is— TIME WON'T STOP FOR YOU! Rather than wasting your time thinking about how others are lucky to enter void at their first try, start affirming and PERSIST IN THEM, BELIEVE IN THEM!! BECAUSE SWEETHEART LISTEN— L I F E G O E S O N ! ! ! STOP WASTING YOUR LIFE LIKE THIS!! AND START WORKING YOUR ASS OFF. and by working, I do not mean to go and start taking action in real life, NO.

1. Make yourself a routine (which is what I'm doing for you right now but anyways). Listen to subliminals or listen to brown, white noise or litteralyyy any music (yes, you can also listen to your favourite song which calms you down). Just anything to calm you down, to relax you, to put you in a good mood.

2. Start AFFIRMING and do not let negative thoughts take over. (Once you start affirming, leave the old story behind because GURRLLL THAT'S NOT YOU ANYMORE!! ALWAYS PERSIST IN THE NEW STORY) You can either do a challenge (like 10k or 20k affirmations) or just affirm robotically for 10 minutes every hour. Saturate your subconscious mind with good and positive affirmations.

3. You can also do the self hypnosis thingy by konniesreality (it's optional)

4. Also, do any meditation or Yoga Nidra at anytime of the day you feel comfortable (It would be better if you do it right before entering void). In my opinion, yoga nidra feels much better (ALSO, DID YOU KNOW THAT YOU CAN ENTER VOID WITH YOGA NIDRA MEDITATION? HEHE) It will clear your mind in minutes. It also relaxes your body. But everyone has different choices, so do whatever feels good for you because that's the major point.

5. At night, set the fucking intention and just go for it.( You can do any method which seems suitable for you) YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!! TRY TO PUT SOME EFFORTS ONCE IN YOUR LIFE GOD'S SAKE. IT CAN IMPROVE YOUR LIFE OVERALL SO MUCH.

I'm rooting for you baby, I know you can do it. You just need a little hard push and that's what I'm here to do. So listen to your desires and most importantly, listen to yourself. You can do this!!

Good luck y'all <3

{Ps : Idk why but i really love making these rude toxic motivational posts I'm sorry 😭}

[lover-of-mine]

This is gonna be a little long but here we go.

Not one of the regular spies but I’ve been keeping my eyes on things the last few days and I can tell you in the discord group I’m in, it’s mixed between buddie fans and BT fans. There are a couple…loud (nice word for it) ones especially who are very much trying to push hard core right now that between the messed up fics and that tumblr account the other day, Buddie fans are “out right declaring war” against gay men specifically due to their “homophobic attitude” toward Tommy. Like the amount of times in of them said “against gay men” in their latest rant in discord, if it was a drinking game we’d all be hammered.

If someone asks questions because they aren’t familiar with what’s going on because they have things blocked or filtered then it’s immediately on the defense of “you need to clam down” and “maybe if you didn’t burry your head in the sand over buddie you’d see how this is affecting real life gay men” or the fan favorite rhetoric of “if your a woman then you don’t need to speak on the matters and you should be supportive of Tommy right now”

It’s honestly getting really wild how much they are losing it. And even when myself and other queer have said something we just get ignored and accused of being “self hating homophobic”

Then on the TikTok and Twitter side, they seem to have launched this rhetoric that kinda goes along with what LW was saying about changing the narrative about Lou/Tommy and mental health. One of the louder BT fan TikTokers even made this wild video today about how people need to really try and step back from their hate and understand that when we saw Tommy in the begins episodes

“it was 2005 and that kind of stuff was just the normal hazing and stop reading into it.”

So pushing the racism/misogyny as just normal hazing now instead of what it is.

There has been some push back against that video by both POC creators and white creators being like uh no that’s definitely not hazing and it’s definitely not your place to dismiss it as such etc. but the comment section is unfortunately mostly with people agreeing with the BT creator and that people need to “let it go and try and understand Tommy better”

Twitter they are trying to push hard on the narrative that they know they aren’t going to see Lou until either 8.01 or after 8.01 “but it’s for his mental health to not be seen so it’s for the best”. And it’s of course the buddie fandoms fault he needs to take such actions and can’t be seen until then. But very big push right now on trying to get them all on board with the “it’s for his own good and we should be proud of him for standing up for himself and staying where he needs to be so he can be safe and happy”

That’s all I got for now

🅰️

Hello darling ❤️

This was a lot. Be supportive of Tommy? When he's a canonically bigoted character and people keep saying gay excuses racist while attacking real life queer women and poc people for having opinions on a fictional character? I'll pass. When the show gives me real proof he evolved as a human, maybe, until then ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

I did see the calling the comments he makes "normal hazing" which is out of touch to say the least and considering tiktoks algorithm, unfortunately, that only gonna show up for people who agree.

And, look, I think he's gonna be in the season too, but this narrative that we are so bad for Lou's mental health is... Tommy and Lou are not the same, so like, opinions on Tommy are not attacks on Lou as a person and I'm still waiting to see proof of this awful bullying we are doing to Lou that leads to this. Even more when we've seen multiple of them attack Ryan very explicitly.

[melissathettpdmember]

Hello I'm back with another ask!!!

making flawless ocs with pure trauma and nothing else is way too overrated. I hate it when ocs just have trauma and no character development. Which leads to the question

What flaws do Daphne and Thoren have both seperately and as a couple? And if they are doing something to improve on their flaws, what would it be?

And aalso to add on this, why do they have these flaws? Is it a trauma based flaw, or just a flaw they have with no backing up?

I'm very interested to know this because your AU is so interesting and my favorite! (I used a few aspects of it in mine actually, but if you are uncomfortable with that I'll stop) and giving characters actual flaws and a spark that makes them more life like is something I believe every character needs. Its why bloom was butchered in Canon, they made her too perfect.

Sorry for the ramble haha, btt thanks for reading!

Hello!!! <3333

Ok let me check hold on

Flaws✨

Daphne:

-She gives up on something the second she makes a mistake. This is because she was raised as a perfectionist and doesn't believe that she should even be alive if she's not good at everything she does.

-Her defense mechanism starts the second she's startled and can you guess what the defense mechanism is? Physical violence. Great shit.

-She hates small talk. Not because she's an "introvert" or something, that's not true, she's definitely an extrovert but she doesn't believe that small talk is useful. This causes fragile hearts (like Bloom's) to break and panic that she doesn't care about them anymore.

-Unlike Thoren, she can't speak about her trauma freely and laugh back at her stupidity back then. Sometimes even hearing about it leads her to a panic attack. Which happens a lot. That's why she doesn't teach subjects that include, and I quote: "Literally anything about Domino; the creation, recruiting, and the recent history of the Nine Nymphs of the Magical Universe; literally anything about Eraklyon, that one small planet that was ruined by a random witch (probably Dyamond); or really anything that I'm in."

-Speaking of which, she never took the history tests when she was a student at Alfea. Because "Who knows? I could have a panic attack right there, in a class full of other people younger than me (she started Alfea at 19 years old because of a mission or something) and that's more embarrassing than scary. Also, if more than half of that stuff is stuff that happened to me, I would already pass the tests???"

-Not to mention, history is also her worst subject, not just in Alfea but all throughout her school life. Ironically, she excels at math more than other subjects.

-She cares about her reputation more than her health. In fact, she doesn't care about her health at all. The only thing she does closest to taking care of herself is that she is covered in bandages for her wounds and she takes like 24 medicines a day. But she cares a lot about her reputation. She has executed at least 2 hate accounts.

-She literally doesn't give a fuck when Thoren ends up in the ICU. It's kinda his fault, he tries to kill himself at least twice a month and he has "training" (involving his trauma about the incident or whatever) basically every day unless he ends up in the hospital.

-She hates celebrating her birthdays, I have no idea if it's because she's suicidal or she hates the thought of celebrating the fact that you spent another year trying to kys and still ended up alive. She's probably both.

-Miss girl has anorexia. I have anorexia and I see it as a flaw so (DON'T COME FOR ME PLEASE) she sees it as a flaw. She hasn't related to the song "Clean" just yet.

-She uses everyone's secrets against them. Whenever she's not using physical violence. So if she doesn't use violence it's probably because she's arguing with close people.

-She once accidentally drank a mug full of mouthwash because that's what they used in their highschool Heathers performance as drain cleaner. She still completed the show and went straight to the hospital. So the flaw in question is the extreme thought of "the show must go on" I guess.

-She CANNOT self censor. She will still use "+13" words around children (like the entire dictionary of swear words).

-She can't sing opera. It's not a flaw but she sees it as one because she wanted to perform "no one mourns the wicked" when this huge villain was defeated when she was a student at Alfea as a celebration. Politea performed it instead but Daphne still went on the stage and sang it (Idina Menzel style).

I'll add more if I remember lmao

Thoren:

-He has a #fuckspecialists shirt. Not because he hates them though, Nex got it for him because he hates specialists. Kinda disproven since Nex fucked Roy tbh.

-The maddest conspiracy theorist ever. Whether it's about someone missing or just another rep tv date. Magix' Matpat fr

-He is so suicidal to the point that it's normal if you see him not breathing.

-WORKAHOLIC 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️🔥🔥. He has the record of training for 22 hours straight. This is linked to his trauma about the incident thing and how he saw himself as weak 👍 he also works at the Lightrock Monastery so it helps.

-Probably would kill for a Laufey concert ticket. Not that it's a flaw but it shouldn't be that hard to get especially for someone who scored 2 tickets to the Eras tour. But can we start a petition to get my guy to a Laufey concert 😔😔😔 ✊✊✊

-He would let an enemy get away if they emotionally manipulated him enough. Would also get himself killed for the sake of the same enemy. Not because they're the enemy but because they're a person. Boo, red flag.

-He's stupid. Like too basic I know but he literally is stupid.

-You'll only see him frustrated+confused. He's literally the embodiment of "WHAT????"

-He cannot function without ADHD meds. For reference: I have ADHD, but I can sufficiently function without my meds. Daphne has ADD yet she can function without medication as well. I can say the same for the many other Winx characters. But he can't do shit. He takes 27 medicines a day but the only one that isn't crucial is the one he can't live without.

-His alcohol tolerance is 2 vodka shots. Literally that low. (Compared to Daphne whose record is 12 shots in under a minute and she is still pretty sober after) So if he drinks, you won't find him sober. Luckily he's not aggressive when drunk.

-He normalizes punching paparazzi. Which is technically correct to do but still.

-The only person he's not afraid of disrespecting is Erendor. You'll see him in interviews and he's casually just talking shit about Erendor. The way Johanna Mason talks about Coriolanus Snow in Hunger Games.

-He sees getting pushed off of the Linphea College Arena as a way to learn. Nonetheless, he pushes people off of the Arena. He also lets them push him off if they need to. 👍

-SH. That's it.

-He would dress up as a Ghostbuster if there was a missing person case. A real one.

-Pathological people pleaser. Low ass self esteem.

-Loyal. Not in the good way. Too loyal. Loyal to the wrong people. This causes him to lose the enemy usually.

- He's morally gray. Do whatever you want with this.

-He's probably more naive than Tetis Astral.

-He rips up his own art if it's not the way he wanted.

I guess this is it tbh. I couldn't find more or link them to traumas so, here you go!

[notmorbid]

...lost child, pt. 3.

dialogue prompts from the story of the lost child by elena ferrante.

are you threatening me?

even your shadow is better than any flesh and blood person.

i'll take away everything you have.

even an open lie from [name] was the only truth that could be uttered.

you haven't been proud of me in a long time.

the _____ we live in is much worse than the one we talk about.

the laws work for those who fear them, not for those who violate them.

since you couldn't make up your mind, i did.

i don't understand why you behave like that.

i'm not angry with you. it's not your fault.

i'm telling you these things because i love you, and i'm worried.

alright. i'll do it. but i don't like it.

you don't belong to this family.

i want you to teach me to ______.

at that moment, i was surely sincere.

you didn't understand, or you didn't want to.

i don't want to see anyone.

good lord, how you've grown. you're magnificent.

you look exactly like your mother.

i gave you too much rope. i let you re-tie too many knots.

the scam of rebirth raises hopes, then shatters them.

i never saw you cry.

do you feel lonely?

try to be reasonable.

i wanted people to think i was someone.

you'll kill me if you leave me like this.

you want to end up like ____?

not all human beings react in the same way.

you have no respect for anyone.

you should let it out. you should say whatever comes to mind.

each of us organizes memory as it suits him.

we both speak a false language.

you're even more defenseless than you used to be.

if the wind blows any harder, we'll all fly away.

wait. sit with me for a moment.

a wish, a fantasy travels more swiftly than blood.

i want to understand what is happening in your mind.

talking to you helps. you make me think.

knowing i'm useful to you makes me feel better.

to be adult is to recognize one's needs.

you're perfect. you never need anything.

nothing overwhelms you. nothing even touches you.

there are things no one knows, not even me.

everyone knows that people like _____ end up getting killed.

all men were once boys.

i should have done worse.

it's hard to tell you no.

does a person necessarily have to 'do' something?

you have to use your life.

i want to go back to sleeping alone.

it's terrible sleeping alone.

you've already forgotten. not me.

do i have to account for myself to you?

you repeat nonsense like a parrot.

every time you go out, i'm afraid you'll get in trouble.

be sure that i will watch over you.

what are you thinking of doing?

someday or other, we'll have to separate.

i will always try to help you. you have only to ask.

the time for faithfulness and permanent relationships is over.

you do only what you want.

i wouldn't want to enter your mind, even for a few seconds.

what do you expect from me?

be careful. ____ has always hated you.

you can be hurt only if you love someone.

all you think about is yourself.

it isn't books that make people good. it's good people who make some good books.

if you think about it, there's more to laugh at than cry about.

you don't respect anything or anyone.

now is not the right time for this conversation.

you must never touch my things again.

you always have to incite, poke, shove.

you have so many things to do. you won't even notice i'm gone.

it's impossible to have a real relationship with you.

this room is like a crime scene.

if it's fine, what are we talking about?

i owe you everything. you're the best person i know.

i thought something had happened to you.

you have no sensitivity. you hurt people and don't realize it.

the empty apartment makes me sad.

i dream of you often.

i'm looking everywhere for your perfume.

where is it written that lives should have a meaning?

what's become of you? i no longer recognize you.

you no longer surprise me.

words are full of ghosts, but so are images.

we must be careful not to make mistakes. we pay for our mistakes.

i don't know anything anymore. things go one way, and then they change direction.

only in bad novels do people always think the right thing, say the right thing.

go. do better things than you've done so far.

i'm so glad we've been friends for so long.

every intense relationship is full of traps. if you want it to endure, you have to learn to avoid them.

i did answer you, but you pretend not to understand.

to write, you have to want something to survive you.

i want to leave nothing. my favorite key is the one that deletes.

i want to untie my name. slip it off me. throw it away. forget it.

leave. come and stay at my house.

i love nothing about myself.

come and see me. we'll be together for a while.

you've always overestimated me.

where did i go wrong?

i am no longer able to distinguish what's mine and what's yours.

you are constantly celebrating yourself.

all you need to get a diploma and a degree is free time.

did you like my gift?

unlike stories, real life, when it has passed, inclines toward obscurity. not clarity.

[auspicioustidings]

Lost Boys

6. Sneaky Handsome Distractions

Summary: The final part of this series! Leaving it open as a bit of a sandbox so I can come back and do drabbles when I feel like it :)

Words: 1.8k

CW: General dubcon nonsense

She swore Graves and his Shadows knew exactly what she had done on her break. They watched her pass their stalls with amused and part way hungry eyes. A hand ran through her hair that caused a shiver right down her spine.

“Vargas darlin’? No accounting for taste. Next time you come to me or mine and we'll treat you right hm?” 

Jesus. Graves was something else with that molasses drawl of his and those baby blues seemingly always sparkling with some sort of mirth. She held her head high, flipping her hair over her shoulder and winking at him.

“You'd fleece me out of every cent I own.”

“Aww come on now, that's not a very nice thing to say.”

“And that's not a denial.”

“It's in my nature to want to make advantageous deals, not my fault when fine folk agree to them.”

“Good thing I'm not fine folk then so won't be tempted.”

He laughed in delight. Philip Graves loved someone with some wits about them. It was all too easy most of the time to kiss someone's soul away at the crossroads when they foolishly offered it up. Humans were so greedy for wealth, fame, power, love. This one was fun, messing with creatures that should terrify her. As far as he could see she was reaping the benefits while suffering none of the consequences. Oh she would make a wonderful demon, an even more wonderful victim. He could imagine how satisfying it would be to slide his tongue past her teeth to seal an oath where she gave her soul to him. Delicious, it had been too long since him and his Shadows had eaten something so decadent.

“You'll find I can be very temptin’ darlin’.”

“Well there appears to be a line, so better up your game.”

Preacher laughed as she walked past, absolutely aware that he would take that as a challenge. Let him honestly, the people on this boardwalk were ridiculous and she could play along. Especially if it got her head that good on breaks. 

-

The rest of the shift was fine, no more sneaky handsome distractions. Alex sent someone else to take over for the evening shift, not making an appearance himself. Maybe he was embarrassed after shoving his tongue down her throat. Or maybe he had went home with Alejandro. Again, none of her business.

By the time she was heading home the sun was dipping beneath the horizon, darkness coming quickly. She had never really minded the night time, it was more like an old friend than a threat. She preferred to work during the evening and she knew she'd have to get over her apprehension at seeing Simon or Johnny again, but one day of avoiding them wouldn't hurt.

“Hey wait up!”

Oh Christ, it was the 3rd one of that little trio jogging up to her as she walked home. She didn't slow, just raised an eyebrow and continued on her way. He jogged ahead and then turned, walking backwards so he could talk to her as she moved. Cute.

“We didn't officially meet did we Preacher? Kyle Garrick” he said, thrusting a hand out.

She didn't love that Alex had already told this man her nickname but she was nothing if not polite, so she took his hand to shake and only rolled her eyes and stopped walking when he instead took her knuckles up to press a kiss to them.

“Look buddy, I'm not going to fuck you.”

Kyle choked out a laugh. Johnny had not been kidding when he said she was a feisty little fucker. 

“Even after all the work I put in stocking your house?”

“So it was you that broke in. Not as romantic a gesture as you seem to think.”

“Hardly breaking in, you invited me. Already too fucked out by then for us to have some fun, but you're looking thoroughly unfucked right now. Heard Ale got his tongue in you well enough, but I think you need something more substantial.”

Preacher spent at least 2 whole seconds trying to maintain some sense of decorum before giving up.

“If I need something more substantial, I'll ask Konig.”

That definitely got him annoyed, stepping forward and jamming a hand between her legs to cup her cunt over her jeans.

“You won't, not when you know how well we fuck. You think Ghost and Soap gave it to you? Doll I'd destroy this little pussy, you'd never want anyone else again.”

Preacher partly believed him if she was honest, his two friends had been hands down the best fuck of her life so it would follow logic that he'd be incredible as well. Didn't mean her pride would allow it when there were frankly, a lot of other options. She leaned forward to purr into his ear.

“Would hate for you to do that to Alex, thought you were friends. Not very friendly to ruin his chances given that he kissed me today.”

With that she pushed away from him, his hand falling away as she started walking again. Her blood was certainly up, she'd be needing to take care of herself when she got in since her pussy throbbed from his aggressive proposition. 

Every fibre of Kyle's being wanted to eat her. The only thing keeping him glued to the spot was Price's oppressive aura nearby, warning him to leave it alone. Fuck. The delicate skin of her throat would shred like tissue paper under his teeth. He had licked her blood off of Johnny when he had it smeared across him so he knew she tasted fucking divine and that had only been cold blood, not warm and pumping the way it was inside of her.  

He watched her for far too long before finally being able to move, heading back to the den.

-

As Gaz paced their den Price only laughed at his frustration, commanding Johnny to calm him down. Not even MacTavish's sloppy mouth could make him stop thinking about her. They decided between the 4 of them that she was going to be theirs and she was going to do it willingly. Especially now that the others had an eye on her, it was a matter of pride to win her fair and square. Well, win her of her own volition at least even if their methods could technically be thought of as cheating.

After all, they were vampires. How hard could it be to seduce one little human?

–

“Y'all understand?”

There was a chorus of eager agreements. The Shadows would get this new girl off of amusements and into the games. She had been a temptation already, but seeing that everyone else wanted her? That really sealed her fate as soon to be theirs.

Demons were basically built to seduce humans after all. It'd be easy. 

-

Horangi couldn't move for the heavy weight crushing him, not that he'd be able to move if Konig got off. The fuck had been cathartic for both of them, thoroughly exhausting, leaving him boneless.

“I want her.”

“I know Ko, when have I ever not gotten you something you've wanted?”

Shifters were feral things, but it meant they courted far better than any other creature could hope to. It was in their instincts to seduce a mate. Shouldn't take much effort at all.

-

Rudy groaned and then immediately started huffing. The taste of her he could get from Ale's mouth just was not enough. The night only got worse when an unwelcome visitor swam in.

“What are you doing here?”

“Alejandro I'm wounded, you don't think I may just want to visit an old flame?”

“Try again.”

“Your little Preacher, I want her. We both know there is a lot of competition for such a sweet thing. So why not work together?”

It made sense. If Ale and Rudy had to share her, better it be with another siren. It was agreed they'd do it without their song to prove that they had won her with her enthusiastic and uncharmed consent. If they did it any other way no doubt it would make them look weak, like they couldn't claim a human without the use of their powers. 

Sirens weren't just charming because of their song, they could seduce humans just fine without it. And this human? They were confident about their chances.

-

“Farah please” Alex pleaded, a blade against his throat. 

His own fault really for just wandering in when he knew how she currently felt about him. He had saved her, but he had refused to go with her and Kate, had chosen to stay with the creatures that had wanted to eat her in the first place. 

“Where is this change of heart coming from?”

“...there's a girl. They've kept her alive for now, but they're not the only ones after her.”

“And she belongs with her own kind.”

Alex nodded and Farah took the blade away. Finally he got it. She'd like to meet this girl who had finally pushed him to come back to his senses, come back to her. 

They had hunted monsters of all types, hunting a human should be easy. It would be wildly satisfying to rob all of these creatures of someone they wanted to claim for themselves, shove it in their face that they could never compare to the affection humans held for one another. 

-

Preacher sighed in contentment, all cosy and ready for bed. She was just making a cup of tea when the door went. It was pretty late for visitors, but then it wasn't like anyone here was normal.

Really she shouldn't have been so happy to see him, idiot that he was. But it had been a while since Keegan’s smug little grin had been on her behalf. 

Keegan knew she'd survive, but he was feeling feral over the mixture of scents clinging to her. These fucking animals had all been pawing at her by the smell of it. 

No matter, he had been laying groundwork for years. And now here she was, in his home, ready to fall head over heels in love with him. He'd make sure of it. After all he knew the monsters that made their home in Santa Carla, and none of them had ever come up against someone quite like his Preacher before.

They stood no chance.

-

Little non-canon bonus round because I think it would be neat if Preacher was, in fact, secretly just a dragon hoarding fuckable monsters

It was nice having Keegan close. He was the first of her hoard after all. And now she had so many more to add! Preacher thought she was going to like Santa Carla just fine.

[just-sp-in-inginthevoid]

Hello. I am wondering why you start liking Takeomi. He is the most hated character by the fandom and your choice of wet soggy cat is very unique. I want to listen your ramblings.

Oh anon, if only I knew

I'll try to remember how it happened, that much I think I got it.

So, when I first got into TR, my mind mostly focused on Mitsuya and the Shiba (mostly Taiju), so much so that I ended up writing a lot more than I thought I ever will on Taiju and explaining where his behavior comes from

Because it seems like a lot of people missed some important information. And by doing that I was able to show them details they had missed (prove that I was right in previous posts where I didn't justified myself and basically got called a liar by someone in the notes which incredibly pissed me off-) and, although that doesn't excuse what Taiju did, it does explain it and makes him more.. real? Maybe not relatable, but his domestic abuse didn't pop up out of nowhere and a lot of people know what intergenerational trauma can do so while still hating Taiju they could understand him better.

Then, having finished my Taiju analysis which also opened my eyes since I found more than what I initially thought about; I myself was able to understand him better and so I thought-

Why not do that with every hated characters in the fandom?

I don't quite recall if my (at the time, very slight) interest in Takeomi happened a bit before or at that time, but the reason why I focused on him before the others (which, uh, aren't a lot anyway) was because I saw stuffs written about him which I didn't really agree with? Like, yeah, he was flawed and raised his siblings badly - especially when next to Shinichiro who was (at least depicted as)(and try to be) good at it - but they were kinda amplifying things

I know that a lot of people relate to Sanzu, or just, love him, and since they saw things I haven't seen, I told myself 'well, let's investigate, then' and then I wrote about 17k words on Takeomi's psychology.

I literally walked myself into the Takeomi rabbit-hole (what a FUCKING mistake /positive)

Takeomi did neglect his siblings, and passive-aggressively verbally, or even emotionally, abused Sanzu and for most of the fandom, is not attractive (and, let's not lie, beauty is a redeeming quality for a lot of characters regardless of fandom. How many characters, no matter their faults, get forgiven by fans just because they're hot, uh?). So he sucks, yeah

You know what he did do? acknowledged his mistakes, apologized for them and would have started his redemption arc if Wakui had had the time for that when warping up the story

He made mistakes, he's flawed, he's human, he wasn't even supposed to be here because he only entered the delinquent world to keep following Shinichiro, his ego which was back then very weak and non-existent got inflated for either survival or because he received so many compliments he didn't know what to do with it if not both because he was a k i d.

Most of the characters in TR are kids or young adults when they commit things they shouldn't have done. And yes, you can hold them accountable for it but they didn't know better - they didn't have the tools to

Now, why do I like Takeomi.

First of all - the amount of flaws he has. Don't think I need to make the list, I think everyone's got it (although make sure to remember he's got an inferiority complex and it's most likely that he also has an imposter syndrome so he's just like me fr-). But even with that, he's never an antagonist. He does things wrong but he's on our side (he's just very deaf to anyone's opinion that doesn't fit his). He sucked at raising his siblings as a kid himself (before his superiority complex developed and during it too - albeit in different ways) but that's just.. realistic? Not that it takes away the seriousness of it and the consequences, but how else could it have been? The impact on Sanzu were disastrous (not that they were the only reason why Sanzu lost it), I understand that, I don't erase that nor deny it BUT THERE'S A REASON WHY TAKEOMI IS LIKE THIS, TOO. And if people blame Takeomi for his actions (which, again, fair.) then blame Sanzu for his!! he was willing to mass murder hundreds of people!!! including his sister!!! he killed a few people!! argh. But Sanzu got his tragic-backstory/childhood shown and has a design that appeals to most, so I guess it's harder to hold him accountable for the seriousness of his actions (I like Sanzu, don't get me wrong. But sometimes the hypocrisy of some fans makes me a tiny bit angry 🙃)

Anyway, reason 84123286 of why I need Takeomi's backstory. Bc, honestly, from what we know of him as a kid+his coping mechanisms as a teen/adult, it would make sense to me if one of the reason he was so hostile to Sanzu was because he saw himself in him and Didn't Like ItTM (for different reasons) (!!! Which would add nicely to Shinichiro seeing himself in Mikey!!! more sano-akashi parallels, lets goooooooo) Talking about the parallels between the two, the fact he's Shinichiro's narrative foil compels me lots. Takeomi is quite literally Shinichiro with a negative filter on. And how can he survived that? How can he cope with the fact that no matter how much he wants and tries to be Shinichiro he'd never succeed? He'd always be the pale copy, the wood statue covered with golden leaves that are peeling away with time next to the pure gold statue. The Teru Teru Bozu that fails to chase the rain away and is going to be decapitated for his ineptitude. He'd always be himself and that's what he hates the most. He'd always be compared to Shinichiro and there's nothing he can do about it. And he can't even be angry at Shinichiro. That's his best friend. He loves him. He has been the first to love him. He has been there before anyone else. He can't lose Shinichiro, Shinichiro gave him everything. Everything he cares about, he sees value of, at least. Immaculate.

I'll also die on the hill that he is competent. He himself has no idea on what but he is (he mixes everything. For him it'd go like this: he gets praised but he's done nothing, Shinichiro has done everything which means they praised him for what Shinichiro has done. Which means what Shinichiro do, he does too. Which means Shinichiro's achievements are his as well! right? He didn't do anything by himself, there's no need to praise him for something else.)(he's fully blind that strategically-speaking and in other brainy-brain domains he's competent af. Bc since it comes 'easily' to him - since he doesn't struggle much with it, or in contrary he struggles so much he cannot possibly be good at it, then there's nothing to praise. And like, for him what Shinichiro does deserve to be praised. What he himself does is just.. things he does so compliments feel shallow)(+Bonten strives as much as Bad Toman and Manila if not more, yet there's no Kisaki. Ofc there's still Koko so that helps, but Takeomi is new to the team and got recruited (at least that what Senju said) in Brahman for his ~wisdom~)

He's also the only character who was around before Shinichiro 1) became a big brother 2) became a delinquent and that has to mean something. They're the only ones left to remember how the other was before their life went to shit

In the final timeline, he looks so healthy. He made peace with himself, his relationship with his siblings is good, he made amends. He healed, they healed. His relationship with Shinichiro, Benkei and Wakasa is good too everything's great. He learnt to understand what he is competent in and focus on it; he's not Shinichiro, he'll never be and that's okay. He's him and what he is complete Shinichiro just as Shinichiro complete him – they take care of one another's flaws but can also know live independently from each other. Perhaps, perhaps Takeomi stopped being so dependent of him

Appearance-wise, I love dark hair+green eyes combo in general so it wasn't that hard (plus there are some godly fanarts out there)

And of course: despite his complexity, at the end of the day - he's really just a pathetic wet poor excuse of a man who can't do anything right and isn't that endearing

I'm slowly getting out of the denial-phase to enter my acceptance-phase when it comes to loving Takeomi. Liking things most people hate or are neutral about is smth I hate for Reasons but it also seems to always happen lolololol. Will try to talk more about Takeomi when it comes to my mind, in case ppl who also love him but don't want to make it known because of his bad reputation in the fandom saw my posts and feel a bit more okay and comfortable with loving him

[jun-of-love]

Hi if ever you will read this but i saw this fanfic you written https://www.tumblr.com/jun-of-love/718945713628872704/heyyy-if-youre-open-for-requests-i-saw-this and i was thinking of a wonwoo version of it while he was gaming and he saw you if only you have a chance thank you so much

helloooo...firstly, thank you so much for sending in this request- i hope this meets your expectations. alsoo super sorry for posting this late- i was busy w my college applications and allat. hope you like this and don't hold back if you have more requests- i'll do them faster this time ❤😉

Times were hard, to say the least.

Not financially or anything, your basic needs were being met- you had a wonderful house you had bought together with your husband- who was himself a very loving and caring partner, you had enough money in your bank account to live comfortably for a few years, everything was going well.

Except for this little baby in your belly that was growing so big as though he was going to come out ready for Olympics wrestling.

The pregnancy hormones were driving you crazy. You were angry, sad, nauseous, frustrated, hungry- all at once, for at least ten hours a day. Your husband, Wonwoo, was as supportive as ever. He never complained, and was always at your back and call- despite having a demanding job himself. He would make it a point to call you every hour or two to check up on if you needed anything. He attended every doctor’s appointment with you, and took it upon himself to make sure you were doing everything as per the doctor’s instructions. You were so, so grateful to have him.

However, at this moment, he was pissing you off.

Wonwoo had taken some time off for himself to play video games with his college best-friends. Sure, he deserved it after spending all of his days and nights taking care of his pregnant wife. You understood and respected that, but it has been five hours since he has been glued to the damn screen, when originally he had promised to come back after three hours. You wanted him to have his time, really you did, but your belly cramped painfully and your back was throbbing. You cursed the timing, out of all days, your pain had to be especially bad today- the one day your husband took time for himself. You felt anger and frustration at his giggles coming from the other room, he seemed so blissfully unaware of your agony. But again, you knew it was not his fault, and he deserved some time to himself, plus you didn’t want to be the nagging frustrating deranged pregnant lady everyone hates.

You pushed yourself up from the bed, muffling your cries of pain with your hand. You made your way to the kitchen, hoping to find a medicine that would make you feel better. You took a few steps when suddenly, it felt like your stomach and back muscles gave out from the weight of the baby, tugging you down, making you fall on your knees. You yelled instinctively, and Wonwoo came out running- worry lacing his features.

“What’s wrong babe?” He asked, breathing heavily. “Should we go to the doctor? Scratch that- lets go to the doctor’s right now.”

Wonwoo looked so so concerned that it made you feel immediately guilty for being so angry at him. “I’m so sorry you had to leave your game,” you couldn’t help but sob, “I tried to take care of myself but-but- the baby got too heavy!” You clenched his shirt and let out tears of frustration.

“Y/N, babe, why would you apologize for needing me??? I’ll do anything and everything for you, you know that!” Warmth reflected from his eyes. “Plus, the guys were boring me anyway.”

You giggle at that. You try to get up with the help of his hand but no avail, your belly was too heavy. “Our baby is too heavy” you whined, “my back can’t keep up!”

Wonwoo puts his hand behind your back and knees, picking you up, bridal style- thank god for his strict gym regimen. He puts you back on your feet, and the next thing you know, both of his hands are under your belly pulling it up.

You cannot remember the last time you felt such a relief. Your back and body felt light, briefly free of all the stress. You close your eyes and enjoy the feeling-involuntarily laughing a little.

Wonwoo smiled. “Feels better?” He kisses your cheek lovingly.

“Amazing.” You breathe out.

“I’ll do this everyday if you want.”

“Oh, you have to!”

“Yes ma’am, especially since it’s my fault our y/nwoo is such a chonk.”

You laughed. “A chonk indeed.”

[hyba]

Heya! I'm trying to join the newsletter and I'm kind of confused by the thing with the google group and joining the group and how I want to get emails... ( I fear this will turn other people off too). Have you thought about maybe doing a newsletter over mailerlite or even substack?

Hola! Thank you so much for reaching out <3 I realize that I never talked fully about why I chose to go the GG route, so I'm taking this as an opportunity to do that, and I hope you don't mind.

For the first part of your Q:

The way that the Google Group thing works is just that you join it and then you're good to go! You don't ever need to go back to that page again if you don't want to. You'll receive the emails (newsletters) just by being a member of the group. It's basically the same functionality as a normal newsletter. (With the caveat that it requires a google account, I believe.)

Screenshots under the cut of what it looks like to get a newsletter from the Google Group.

For the second part of your Q:

My answer got a little long and probably way outside the scope of your Q, so here's a TLDR in case you don't want to hear the Origin Story lol:

I'm trying this out partly as an experiment, but I'm giving it a genuine run, especially since it works exactly the same from the reader's POV. Unless it proves to be disastrous (and it very well may be if most people let me know they aren't joining specifically because it's GG), I may keep this newsletter for a year or more. Ideally when my subscriber count gets big enough, I'll move to a "better" newsletter app which has more features for analytics and such, or give Substack a go because I've also had my eye on that (thanks for reminding me of it!). I did at some point have a TinyLetter but I didn't feel very satisfied with it, and maybe that was just because I also just wasn't using it how it was meant to be used (my fault for sure).

But my number of newsletter subscribers is low (ilyasm <3) and I feel that if there will ever be a time I can try something like this out, it's now. It might be an absolutely terrible idea, but I won't know for sure until I give it a go, right? ^^'

Now onto the aforementioned Origin Story. There are 4 main reasons I chose to work with a GG as a newsletter. (If you're interested at all by the idea of a GG as a newsletter, this might also be of interest to you.)

1: It looks the same from the subscriber side of things.

I signed up to it with a personal email and this is what it looks like to get a newsletter from it:

This is what it looks like inside (I did zero formatting for this trial email haha):

And at the bottom you do have a link to unsubscribe (you also have that up above, if you noticed). For newsletter subscribers that only want to engage via email, that's all there is to it.

But for anyone who wants to engage on the GG, at the bottom there's also a link to see the Conversation (newsletter post) on the GG, which takes you to a page like this:

Normally, it should be set up so that everyone can reply to a newsletter post. Right now, none of the members have posting permissions, simply because there are some issues with that (see below), so the Conversation part of things is limited.

Anyway, the fact that it works the same for subscribers as any other newsletter was the most important thing to me, because whatever happens in the background, I didn't want the experience to be so alien to subscribers that they just Nope away from it. Granted, the first step of signing up is different enough that, as you pointed out, some people will still be turned off by it, but that can't be helped as I can't change the mechanics of the sign-up.

...That I know of. Will keep digging.

2: I was intrigued by the Conversation features in GG.

I thought it meant readers would be able to reply both privately to me (we've tested this and they can) - a functionality most newsletters provide - and publicly to each other in a forum-type way (turns out, this is problematic for many reasons, the biggest of which is that it could be a nuisance to get an email every time someone replies to someone, but there are a variety of other issues there, like the fact that anyone can post anything and it would send - like a newsletter - to all subscribers, so that's not a feature I'm using).

3: I wanted to know why more writers aren't using it in this way.

GG is a free app connected to your Google account. Lots of writers work with Google Docs, share their stuff through Google Drive, organize their writing using Google Sheets, collect beta reader feedback via Google Forms, and so on.

So I thought, why isn't anyone using GG as a newsletter, especially when starting out? It felt almost like a logical step to me, despite the obvious lack of analytics and other features (CTR, automated emails sent out to new subscribers, etc.). It could still function as a newsletter, so why was nobody even considering it?

Again, it'll probably end up being not the best idea, but I think I'll at least try it out before I make up my own mind about it.

4: It keeps your inbox clean & acts as an archive.

So, once you've read a newsletter, you might delete it. A few months later, you might realise, Oh, I could actually really use that resource Hyba linked in that one newsletter email... which I deleted! No worries; head on over to the GG and all the newsletters are listed there, like an archive. I found that to be a nifty feature, so I just thought I'd throw that in there. ^^

Although, I'm not sure how retroactive it is. As in - if you join now, can you see all the past posts I ever made on the GG? In other words, do you have access to all the past newsletters from before you subscribed? Hopefully someone will let me know, haha.

I also tried deleting conversations to see if that notifies people (it doesn't) and if people can still reply to the email that was sent with that post (the post was too old and nobody had it on email lol, so jury's still out on that one).

Major Cons so Far

No analytics other than how many reads a conversation/post (newsletter) has gotten. That's alright, but I have no idea how many people are clicking through on the links and such, so that's not the best thing for someone trying to grow as an author.

No automated email that is sent out to new subscribers. It would be cool to be able to create a Welcome to the Newsletter post and set it so that it can send as an email to every new subscriber, but that's not an option. Unfortunately, if you're a new subscriber, you've got radio silence until the end of the month, when the next newsletter comes out ^^' I'm not too sure if new subscribers can see older posts directly on the GG (any new subscribers out there willing to chip in?), but that might be a potential workaround.

Confusing and limited 'conversation' feature. Unfortunately, I can't seem to find a lot of info about how to fiddle around with the settings and only allow members to reply to posts instead of giving them the permission to also make posts. I also would prefer that if there is a reply to a post, it doesn't then send out an email notification to everyone that a reply has been made. This is purely for the 'community' side of things on the GG, not something that alters the way the newsletter as a newsletter works. But it was one of the selling points for me to give GG a go, so I'm still fiddling around with it in hopes that I can make it work.

Anyway, lots of troubleshooting, lots of interesting things to check out, still giving it a go, some mistakes might be made, and definitely it will turn some people off for sure, since it's markedly different in many ways. However, I hope that beyond that, people will realize that it's the same thing as any other newsletter at heart.

If it definitely bothers a potential subscriber and it's a total deal-breaker, then that's definitely a bummer for me, too, but as I said before, I'm not thinking of it as a permanent newsletter solution.

[irrevocablecondition]

Have you seen the discourse on tiktok about Rowling and the marauders fandom? People are saying we can't be in the fandom because it keeps her relevant

someone actually dmed me about this yesterday so this is perfect timing !! under the cut for those that wanna skip <3

guilt is a big thing. and i've spoken about that here. there is a lot of guilt that comes with being trans and in this fandom. but my big question is:

does it keep her relevant or does it keep her works relevant? that's the deciding factor for me. and if the fandom was as anti-jkr as it claims to be, then this wouldn't even be a question. unfortunately,,, it's not.

which is why these discussions are so important!! i got a lot of backlash for my video about the reboots, but hi hello, we need to talk about this. because it does affect how ethical this is.

which is the basis. ethical participation is the basis of all of this (in depth here). you don't need to be loud about your disagreement with jkr, but you absolutely do need to be consistent with it. which is difficult in a fanspace with so many people - we can make sure that we ourselves are doing the absolute best we can, but we can't control what anyone else is doing.

and as a "content creator" (i hate that term) it's a big thing to consider!! by posting about fanfictions and about her characters, am i promoting her?

the answer is no.

because i am loud and i am consistent in my dislike of her. because i promote fan works made by people who are anti-jkr, because i promote fan works that do not have her views in them, because i have information available on my account about jkr, because i am anti-jkr in everything that i do in this space.

and there's this idea of "what if someone sees your post and decides to go profit her?" and without sounding like i'm trying to dodge responsibility,,, is that my fault?? is it my fault if i post something written by a fan - that most likely has "fuck jkr" in the fic summary - and they decide to go and profit a renowned terf?? i don't think so.

and i'm a very conscious person in everything that i do and i KNOW that there is the potential of this happening but,,, i'm doing all i can. it's not my fault if someone decides to profit her after seeing fanbased content. controversial i know but,,, we know she's a terf. we all know, you don't even need to be in the fandom to know. if you google "jk rowling" the first article is literally "JK Rowling's transphobia controversy: a complete timeline." it's not some hidden secret, and i've done my educating on my account. unfortunately, i can't make people decide if they care more about material items or my existence.

if you are actually participating in fandom ethically, then you are not promoting jkr by being here. she's taken so much from us (the works, the merch, she's a frontrunner in the anti-trans rhetoric in the uk), don't let her take this as well. which again!!! is why these discussions are so important because it does feel like she's taking the fanspaces when i watch people promote the reboot etc.

i'll say it again:

you do not need to be loud about being anti-jkr, but you do need to be consistent.

fanspaces are absolutely ethical if you are participating in them right, because if this fandom was as anti-jkr as it claims to be, it would be obvious that we're fans of the universe, not her.

we absolutely can reclaim this space, but only if you're consistent. (tumblr post here about it)

[offtorivendell]

Just wanted to tell you that I love your account ❤️ and I was curious how you manage to stay so positive in the middle of this ship war

Aww thank you so much! 💜

I'm definitely not perfect, but I mainly try to trust my own judgement and reading comprehension, and keep to my fandom bubble when possible.

I can compartmentalise almost to a fault, so while I know there's always a chance that I'm wrong about Elriel (and more than a chance that I'm wrong about my theories, as they can get very crackish/specific lol), I don't let it take anything from the enjoyment I get chatting about theories with my fandom friends. That's what I'm here for, the rest I just do my best to either laugh about or ignore.

At this point my Tumblr feed is (mostly) Elain and Elriel based positivity, at least with regards to SJM. I've curated my bubble, filtered out any tags I don't want to see, try to avoid the drama, and chill. If we get Elain's book next, then brilliant, but if not, I'm pretty much at the point where my enjoyment comes from my friends and theorising with them rather than the source material itself (I think that's about as negative as I'll get, because I do find the fandom negativity exhausting, hence I typically stick to private chats with friends, with the occasional foray into the subreddit - doing this has allowed me to separate the books from a lot of the extraneous bullshit). Also, I'm very lucky in that, while I've always loved/will love reading, fandom is more of a nice little bonus to my life; I don't rely on it too much in the grand scheme of things. If I "get my way" with Elriel then great, but my happiness isn't contingent on that.

So yeah - and not to be too "00s self help wisdom" - the enjoyment I experience from my current level of fandom participation is more about the journey than the destination. Don't get me wrong, I do hope I'm right about at least some things (thankfully HOFAS suggested that I may be on a few of the right tracks, so fingers crossed), but if I'm not then I am well and truly past the point where I don't care all that much. There's no point in stressing too much about what SJM will or won't write, because it's not going to change the end result. So why do that to yourself? Just have fun with your fandom friends (whether that be theorising, making art, whatever) and let others do the same, vent in private if necessary, be kind, and hope for Elriel the best. 😉✌🏻

Thanks for stopping by anon! Have a brilliant rest of your week.