#i'm going insane i cannot take this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mx-anthony-janthony-crowley · 2 years ago

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sick and twisted that we started and ended season 2 with such similar shots, except there's now a massive gap between them that wasn't there before. AND THEY'RE NOT ON THEIR USUAL SIDES

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stygiansauce · 10 days ago

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🦃 morning / afternoon / evening!

Scarian is the classic <3 ive only written them once for a friend and it took me… months… got stuck on one scene and avoided it for ages (and then got into taurtis x grian but that’s another story)

Cub and Scar being brotherly and inseparable is soo <3333 everything to me. Have you read “closer to another shore”? Oh my god. Changed my life. And scar and Cub within that book… absolute peak. Devoured it twice over and once more on top of that. Very much recommend if you want to tear your own heart out and crush grian like a bug!

ooo! I'll have to give that one a lookie!

I have this whole scale AU for Scarian that I'll write one day. it's bound to be my hardst work yet (yeah including the historial research and mapping nightmare that is Dealing Despair), because Splinter is one of those fics you have to plan every single scene out to make it all come together in the end.

My goal with Splinter) whenever I get around to writing it, it is to have like a fraction of coolness Birrdie's as above, so below has?? It's still one of my favorite fics of all time and I strive to write an AU like that one day. Splinter isnt the same thing? it's like a past life kind of thing, but the part im trying to emulate from aasb is the "oh something is happening here...I am scared of it" vibe.

Eitherway, if you want a good Grian fic (with some Scarian) THATS the fic. This is the fic I give to all my friends new to the fandom/to fanfiction. I shove aasb and Dirges in the Dark at them because those are the two fanfics I want on my shelf YESTERDAY. Like physical copies. (I am working on that actually....)

OKAY I'VE YAPPED ENOUGH! Time to clock in for the writing shift today <3

#sauce yaps #fic recs #friend fics #it's crazy I can say that now because I'd like to say Kit is one of my best friends now...#and to be moots with Birrdie still kind of has me in awe?#I'm yapping in the tags with the small prayer they wont see me in here being weird about it #but like I scrolled back pretty far in my bookmarks to find those fic links really quick #and the amount of bookmarks I have from people im FRIENDS WITH NOW???#And I didn't even realize????#like there worm stuff in there from over a year ago #I got theo stuff in there as if Theo and I aren't on the verge of collabing on a peice???#It's so weird to me I do not feel like im good enough to be their friend but here I am #so I feed them snippets and funny haha jokes and keep my place like the little rat man I am #like I'm out here putting my soul into my work and I dont think I'll be anywhere NEAR my friends skill #not any time soon at least #I think the only thing I have going for me is my inhuman ability to grind out a shit ton of work in a short time period #like yall don't really see it because moe five is taking me so long (happy two months tomorrow ahaha)#but I wrote unsportsmanlike conduct in 7 days #two of those days were just editing and adding final touches #by the time I started unsportsmanlike conduct I had the hockey au for only two weeks #like I cannot turn off my brain and ALL I think about is my stories and what I can do with them #the only way to turn the brain off is to like bake or something because going on walks helps me think better #I sit in vc with the wife and the homies and I yap NON STOP about the fics I don't get a break from them #the notes app is insane and so is the discord and the hell that is my many google docs #and then I pop over to see how kits doing and kit is like “look how organized all my stuff is!” and I wanna throw a brick across the US aga #/aff #because like I would kill to be the that organized.. I also just love kit's brain but thats a different thing entierly #if yall could see the amount of sticky notes on my desk #I have to color coordinate the au and there are BOOKS of notes stacked up because I need to outline physically or I cant outline at all

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sysig · 22 days ago

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Happy Pride, gay therapists (Patreon)

#Doodles #Clinical Trial #Lee Smith #Vargas #Edgar #Damned #Way to make friends Lee #Wander would also fall in under the umbrella but he's elsewhere rn it's fine lol #With how unrepressed he is it'd be no fun! Gotta pit the two Extremely repressed guys against each other lol #Each with their obsession with a stripey blue-haired genderfuck....#I'll go insane about it later #<Has already gone insane about it #Lol #Enjoying my tags brought to visuals? The fun of reading my tags - you get the text preview of my ideas in real time! Haha #Also! These doodles are much newer! I have like a full week's worth of sets in the drafts that I just Cannot edit hegh #So I ran an experiment with these and it worked! Yay!#I haven't played with my ink pens all that much and in a good long while - so! This paper has gotten increasingly difficult to edit #Midtones just unfriendly on the page - so I'm forcing the issue and making the lines Hecka dark #And also not leaving any pencil residue where there's not toning - which means No Sketching #These were made completely freehand-eyeballin' it haha - I think they turned out pretty good for that :)#I am admittedly very used to drawing 3/4th bust-ups lol all that practice paid off!#And this being a short idea made it easy to see through all at once :D My favourite!#I wonder how Scriabin would react to Lee... Plenty to dig at that's for sure hmmm #It really does tickle me that technically None of the current round of therapists would qualify according to the original rules haha <3 #Lee is the closest but he still doesn't actually make the cut! And Edgar and Wander aren't even close haha <3 #I think that's very fun personally ♪ DAX is against the rules so why shouldn't they be as well <3 #It's fun to see everyone in weird circumstances! I mean it's fun to see everyone in general lol but to meet the expectations there #To be therapists or patients amongst each other ♫ How do they hold up under scrutiny!#Lee you better be careful or the Institute is going to take issue with your meddling :)

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cyanidas · 1 month ago

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Tumblr hi hello listen I don't have much I can offer as bait or compensation but if yall sleep on Pokemon Colosseum and don't get LOUD and Weird As FUCK about it on re-release... I don't know what will become of me...

#I NEED AN ORRE SEQUEL I NEED WES BACK #SO MUCH IS GOING ON WITH ARIZONA #WHY IS IT MADMAX FURYROAD #WHY IS IT XENOBLADE CHRONICLES #WHY IS WES THE BEST AND COOLEST PROTAG WE'VE EVER GOTTEN SINCE RED #HE'S A CRIMINAL. HE'S A HERO. HIS BEST FRIENDS ARE TWO CATS. THEY EACH HAVE A SEAT AND FOR *FCKS SAKE* HE DRIVES A MOTORCYCLE #i cannot recommend Colosseum enough I'm literally begging on my hands and knees #i hear so many fans beg for more world building and baby the side/spinoff games GOT YOU #i would KILL. do u hear me. K I L L. for a maingame / Legends title Orre remake. or honestly ideally a sequel #where you play as Wes again. no shade to XD boy i love him too but i need Wes so bad #he's the only pokemon protag with canonically white/silver hair #yknow. like everyone wanted Brendan to have.#he's THE ideal edgy pokemon protag #AND HE'S JUST ONE OF THE HIGHLIGHTS OF ORRE BTW #they could do so much with Orre with all they've established now!! IMAGINE RIDING HIS BIKE IN A LEGENDS TITLE AND GETTING INTO FIGHTS!!!#ON! HIS! MOTORCYCLE!!!!!!!!!!#AAAAAAAAAAAA-#sorry for yelling. agh i wish i had a college degree so i could apply to Nintendo and they'd just listen to my advice #I'd take only getting paid in pokemon games......#intercom #pokemon #pokemon colosseum #orre #orre region #pokemon wes #god please spread the word. rip me off steal my words i don't care just #PLEASE hype for Orre... I'm begging you on my hands and knees to go fully insane over Orre...#scream louder and higher than me. scream into the heavens. Legends Orre.... Legends Orre......

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a1sart · 9 months ago

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I think I'm leaving headcanon territory and instead entering "these takes are central to my interpretation of the story and removing them also removes the impact of the story" i think I need to go back and watch the source material again I literally forgot that it was about Mabel and Dipper and not Fiddleford abandoning his wife and young son to have a whirlwind gay romance in the woods with his college roommate.

#gravity falls #al talks about things #yeah I'm going kinda insane about fiddauthor #fiddauthor #I cannot understand fiddleford without first imaging him as a gay man married to a woman out of comphet who's in love with his best friend #which probably means I should take a step back #am I going to tho? idk probably not

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lambilegs · 1 month ago

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praying that today's concert heals me 🙏🏽

#it's this queer singer whose work I;ve been listening to since SEVENTEEN #and especially around the year I realized I myself was queer #so this is a very full circle moment and I feel like I'm gonna get emotional #ahhhhh #def doesn't help that my current love life consists of me and a girl who both like each other but cannot get into a relationship rn so we'r #taking space before talking again and I'm going insane without talking to her hahahahaha 😃#s.text

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veatomis · 7 months ago

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I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE I'M CHOOSING PEACE

#if i see that kiss scene one more fucking time i'm going to crash out #+ i cannot take the fucking whining #no hate to my solavellan mutuals you truly are the only ones i trust in the fandom #but the fact that solavellans got EVERYTHING and you're still finding shit to complain about when everybody else got NOTHING or less than #nothing is insane

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miodiodavinci · 1 year ago

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i saw that you used to hint at oc stuff on twitter (don't ask me why im digging im looking for zola stuff lmao) why don't you post more about them?

i am simply terrified that if i post oc things online someone will steal the concept and run with it faster and better than i ever could have and then i will be devastated forever and ever

more seriously i have very little to show for any of my oc things (adhd brain making life difficult as per usual awawawawawa) and every time i've shared oc things in the past i've ended up never following up on it and it makes me feel bad and guilty so i've just convinced myself i will Never talk about my ocs until i have something substantial i can put out there

#mio answers things #anon #i'm getting a little better with making things for my ocs #on account of having friends i can actively share my brain rot with #but i still dread the feeling of posting a character and being forever haunted about never doing anything with them ever again #(echoes of custard howling in my mind)#just like how i dread having a repeat of that time in middle school #where i talked about my werecrow oc in the comments of a bigger artist's works #and they ended up making their own werecrow oc immediately after #they very much directly aligned with mine #but it got wildly popular on their account and they made a ton of art for it and i just #ended up deleting any evidence of mine because i felt so bad about it skjdfhgkldhfkgj #like i have no problem with people taking inspiration from my designs #i think it's fun seeing people design vy2s with two toned hair and kyos with pink eyes and hair pins w #but like. the thought of posting my oc and having someone run them through a blender to make their own character makes me feel. bad.#i can't articulate the specific reason Why it makes me feel bad but it does skjfghdkjfgsdhkjf #like if i finally posted theater gang stuff and then saw someone else take those concepts and make them into their own characters #i might just collapse into a pile of beef trimmings and never get up sdfkjhglksjdfg #it's silly and i don't know why my brain's like this but because of this in combination with my fear of posted oc things haunting me foreve #i simply will not be posting <3333 #(and also just that. i'm incapable of producing enough artwork to make my ocs matter in a public context i think.)#(like you breed affection for a character through familiarity)#(which you only really get by creating A Lot Of Art)#(and i cannot do that <333)#(so instead most times i post it's a few handfuls of likes)#(and that doesn't really feel worth it to my brain when i could just settle for going insane over them with my friends skjdfhgkjsdf)#i really think this last year has just taught me that i really. honestly truly prioritize the reactions and feelings of my friends #over strangers on the internet #and it feels a lot more comfortable that way w #AH

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naivety · 8 months ago

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my sense of urgency for this election was all used up watching a genocide play out live on instagram while my mom continued to talk about which politician might make the housing market better and i tried not to genuinely lose my mind over the dissonance. in all honesty short of bombs dropping on americans' houses my adrenal glands are beyond checked out. i'll show up to the polls and do my part and try to plug into the bare bones direct action i can find in the middle of nowhere deep red county state but god. there are so many posts circulating trying to fear monger me into voting for one genocidal president of this genocidal nation over another and i may as well live on a different planet. i can fathom the urgency but i could not make myself feel it short of being held at gunpoint. which may even be on the ballot but that's how americans have been voting for decades now and each of them regardless of party has worried about the idea of being held at gunpoint while a right of theirs is taken away while there are people who are already being held at gunpoint and their rights have already been taken away by the very people being beamed into my eyeballs as the escape from this hypothetical violence that's already non-hypothetically happened to millions who aren't US liberals because of the america they're trying to save from trump the same america regardless of democrats or republicans or whigs or federalists and does anyone else feel like they're going crazy

#j.txt #2024 elections #cannot imagine how american palestinians are feeling #it's genuinely... like i felt honest to god insane watching the boots on the ground journalists over there every day for like 4 months #and then going to work 5 days a week like any of this fucking matters #like nothing about this election can compare in my psyche to that like i'm not even trying to compare them but my brain like #changed shapes this year. and its shape now does not include a sense of urgency about fucking dollhouse barbie american politics after #experiencing all that. last year early this year #i still think about gaza every day but i'm privileged enough to have burned out obsessively getting updated every day #the ocean we swim in said this is normal now. israel committing genocide w our dollars is normal now #it's the same shit with the pandemic and i don't buy into it but the dissonance of the entire world around me spinning on that axis #while mine spins on a completely different one where thousands of people we could have saved are dead now #like sorry that is genuinely insane. i feel like my mind will actually break if i think about it for too long #it's a worldwide gaslight and it's Unfathomable that these political issues in my world #where thousands are dead. is not on my mom's political radar whatsoever like she's thinking about jesus and the housing market #like those thousands upon thousands of lives were never even REAL #i feel like i'm going crazy man it's so fucking ridiculous how am i supposed to take politics seriously with that split #like i know how and i still do but. can anyone here me it's just #it's genuinely a gaslight to think about it too long like i will feel like my reality is splintering

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aelswiths · 1 year ago

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AELSWITH & ALFRED (being so cute and soft and killing me 😭🥺💕) IN 3x02

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asmodeusamaryllis · 8 months ago

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MARIA HAS A SISTER?!??

#After over 2 decade this is now added information on her family #That so depressing that her family basically replaced her with the new healthy child #Cannot tell if in hindsight they would have done that if Maria was w them n still lived w them they would have neglected her #Or if she died the new child would have immediately been her replacement of what could have been #But there no way to tell since Gerald was the one to take her n keep her despite her family going like 'either cure her or give her back'#Omg what a shitty situation for a child to be in #N it also understandable why every other family that wasnt Maria n grandpa would not look fondly at her #Since it seems like Gerald was obsessed w her especially after finding out her illness #I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up ignoring everybody that wasn't her in family wise #N why he was so hell bent on hoping shadow would be her friend then when finding out she died he crashed out #UFG #the ark story will always be a top in term of seriousness in the silly ways of the characters #Oml #I WOULD HAVE OBESS W THIS AS A CHILD TBH #I HAD AN OC (as a child) THAT WAS LIKE GIVING MARIA A YOUNGER SIS N NOW THAT CANON??#Insane oml #N she should be alive too? Given it 50+#Oh Maria robotnik the tragedy that u r #Idk if I'm the biggest fan of expanding stuff on a preorder item so that it not as accessible #Or the fact Maria family has been expanded but we will never know of them but whatever ig that a more me thing #Not liking characters having relatives n then never knowing what they look like

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luv-again · 15 days ago

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oughhhh have two tasks to go this week. 1 poem and this stupid damn workshop piece that i don't wanna do </3 tut said to try have the workshop piece in by thursday LMAO girl it IS thursday and i have done NOTHING

#bee blabs #the poem should be fine it just requires me to use my brain which ion wanna do rn #and i can never work out where to take my shop pieces so they have Something to them #like i write the initial exercises thinking 'yippee isolated task i'll never go back to again !!'#AND THEN. think again buster #i gotta develop it into a narrative i'm not all that interested in pursuing ?#bruh i just wanna write my sillies #my qpr sillies. my situation sillies. my pirate sillies #*rattling the bars of my cage*#only a week and a bit to go i cannot WAIT for my 2 weeks off i am going to go insane

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pennamepersona · 2 months ago

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i don't think i've ever outright said it here, so just to have it noted down, i am going about paramount presence in a truly deranged manner. i'm planning to get everything prepped and then get all of london's innards in one day.

"why are you doing it like that" i am no longer taking questions

#fallen london #jk i'm absolutely taking questions #i hear you ask #won't that require a truly preposterous amount of notability grinding on that day? thank you for the question. yes it will.#sinew grinding is gonna be great for that #bc i'll build up corresponding so i can use it on my pp day #i'm gonna be totally honest. part of why i'm doing it this way is bc i don't want to Stop being defined by watchful.#so i'm going from An Extraordinary Mind to Paramount Presence in the same 24 hours #because - and i cannot emphasize this enough - something is terribly wrong with me #nerves is squared away #blood technically is but i'm very tempted to do resplendent in luxury #i have two of them. i don't have any brass embassy stuff tho #so that would be SUCH a pain in the ass. might still do it.#and then i'm doing jewels in your crown for marrow which is INSANE #i hate certifiable scraps grinding i hate it i hate it i hate it #which is why i'm also trying the alt route for veils velvet scrap #but that might require yet another breath of void. which. is fine i guess. whatever.#imagine trying to explain all of this to people who have never touched fallen london in their lives #i've been doing that to my friends and loved ones #i don't think they like it but they're supportive which is more than i could ask for

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svtskneecaps · 1 year ago

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friends and fiends if this truly spells the Over for the qsmp i may let the brainworms that have been festering in me for MONTHS--A YEAR, EVEN--win.

i may summarize the goddamn fucking lore.

#i CANNOT make an 8 hour summary i CAN'T i SHOULD NOT that is SO MUCH CONTENT #and i still only speak like 2/4 qsmp languages MAYBE 2.5/4 if we're REALLY stretching it #but GODDAMNIT I'M DOING SOME CURSORY RESEARCH ANYWAY BC I WANNA WRITE THAT FUCKING TIME LOOP #qsmp #maybe just the fed lore. haha. eye twitches. maybe just the iverall server lore. maybe i'll even bother caring about the qsmp livestreams.#haha. eye twitch. fucking. eye twitch.#solo lore is B E Y O N D me but MAYBE shit that affected Most or All lore i could do #like code lore and shit. obv it knots in with other lore but FUCK IT WHATEVER #AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i'm not even gonna worry about it #yknow what. not even gonna worry about it. i gotta do the research first 🤪 whatever bro #if the research gets done i'll think about alllllllllllll the rest of this but this is a YEAR OF CONTENT #mother FUCKER dude it's not possible there's no way #this is a year with like 80 hours of streams per DAYYY at peak who could do this #who could. no wonder no one could keep up. no wonder i had to LIVE in the tag to keep up #good lord GOD i shouldn't do this. i'm not committing. god i want to though. god i shouldn't.#shut up vic #block game brainrot #HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA #WHATEVER HAHAHAHA WHATEVER AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA #i will beat this storyline into SUBMISSION i will beat it to DEATH i will FORCE IT TO MAKE SENSE #I WILL PRUNE IT LIKE THE WORLDS WORST BONSAI I SWEAR TO GOD #i'm unhinged i can't i have so wanted to do this but i swore to myself i wouldn't #bc i know i'll go insane and i know it will take FUCKING YEARS and there is no fucking way i'll see it to the end #but goddddddddddddddd i want to i SO FUCKING WANT TO #listen. if there's no more lore. i may summarize the fucking lore. someone will beat me to it 100% bc i take fucking a million years #but people are suckers for long video essays and summaries IT'S ME I'M PEOPLE #anyway if you got this far and have the screenshot of mariana messaging slime to tell him their daughter is dead please send it #i can't find it via google and i don't have twitter and i know it was posted there at some point :(#i want it :( i want to throw it back in slime's face in the time loop because repetition is fun and heartbreaking >:D

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cosmogyros · 6 months ago

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#three gigantic explosions went off RIGHT under my window in the past hour alone #every time it's so loud my body reacts with total panic like i've just been shot and i'm dying #my chest physically hurts. like i'm scared i might have a heart attack from this #sitting here in my living room feeling the least safe i've ever felt at home and so terrified i'm sobbing uncontrollably #it's just constant tension and fear and bracing myself for the next one #and it's barely 5 pm. this will probably continue until 3 or 4 in the morning at least. if not literally all night #this is fucking insane. it's never been this bad before. i genuinely don't know if my health can handle this #but i have nowhere to go. i'm so scared. i don't know what to do #can't even call the police because this shit is inexplicably legal???#i tried earplugs but it's so loud it makes zero difference. like imagine telling someone in a war zone to wear earplugs #jesus christ i can smell the gunpowder even from indoors #i'm so scared. this is horrible. i wish i could take some super strong drug to knock me out until tomorrow #but any drug strong enough to keep me unconscious through this shit would be strong enough that i wouldn't feel safe taking it at all #i saw my neighbor throw something out his window that i first thought was a firecracker?#but it fizzled and went out so maybe it was just a cigarette butt #but if i see someone in my building setting firecrackers off... i'm genuinely afraid of what i might do #like i'm scared i might fully lose it and go bang on their door and get in a physical altercation with them #i cannot emphasize how much i am in full fight-or-flight nothing-to-lose mode right now. and i can't flee. so that leaves only fighting #i might never get citizenship if i'm arrested for attacking somebody but even that thought isn't enough to hold me back rn #this is awful awful awful. i don't know what to do. how am i going to make it through this night? how is this shit not illegal?#i wish i could at least stop crying jfc this is horrible

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sherlock-is-ace · 1 year ago

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#i'm finding it really hard to be happy as a trans person today #i'm fully aware of my privilege and that i'm currently in the safety of my home AND the closet #but i can't pretend the shittiness going on in the world doesn't get to me #really feeling that today #i'm happy there's people who take the time to be patient and educate ignorant people #and others who call out assholes #but it's all so bad all of the time #there's so much hate and for what fucking reason?!#i cannot wrap my head around the need for so much hate and violence and ignorance #it's just insane to think people would care and hate so much about something that is not about them and doesn't affect them in the slightes #i just can't deal with all this shit today #i really can't anymore #angel talks #personal

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