#i'm thinking tiny cat or tiny bat or tiny rat

[semi-precious-crocheter]

I have tiny transgender yarn and tiny crochet hooks, what do I do with them?

[dawns-beauty]

Jib-jabbering about animal mods, with links if that kind of thing interests you.

I decided to cut SkyTest down to just adding two animals I don't have a mod for: farm geese and tiny river crabs. I'm using this goose model and sound replacer for it, it's so much better. Just trying out this light version since it only adds the behaviors, not new animals.

I also got separate mods for sheep and pigs. Look, I'm obsessed with its soulful gaze:

Ended up editing my own version of Diversified Chickens with mashups of Better Than Nando's plus RoboBirdie's models for more diversity. They aren't super HQ, but I don't think they really need to be. Look, variety! Including fluffy chickens like the one I had as a kid!

I know it's old, but I'm also keeping Birds of Skyrim with a few RoboBirdie model replacements for pheasants and this excellent one for chicks. Naturally have skyBirds as well, I've never really had issues with it.

Using Dynamic Animal Variants for everything but dogs and chickens, and edited the wolves a bit to be compatible with True Wolves. I even made a patch for Highland Cows More Wooly I'll probably release on my mod blog.

For dogs, I'm using Diverse Dogs with Vigilance Reborn (with edited textures to make him look like a Karthwolf), True Meeko, Snow Dogs, and Unique Barbas Retexture. Aside from the models, I also use Realistic Dog Sounds and Realistic Husky Sounds, as well as Conditional Dog Barking and Smart No More Stupid Dog Comments. For animations: Casual Dog Animations and New Husky Animations.

I'm finally gutting and remodeling the Dogs of Skyrim mod (something that I tried to do before I knew how to mod) and replacing the models so that NPCs can have a variety of dogs too.

(Believe it or not, I am a cat person. So much so that I'm not satisfied with any cat mods 😭)

I've also got a slew of critters brought in from other games (...mostly Morrowind.):

Vvardvarks

Guars, kagrouti, and nix hounds (plus fixes)

Bantam Guar (plus retexture)

Betty Netch

Shalks

Shroom Beetles (plus ENB glow)

Cliff Racers (ambient) (plus optimized textures)

Grahl

Blood Horkers

Udefrykte

Chub Loons*

Echatere (plus fix)

*I dug out an archived, long-deleted version of Chub Loons: I think the new model is too cartoony.

Other fauna:

Baby Mammoths (plus this mod that adds more random colors :) and also a fix for their footsteps)

Sewer Rats (plus optimized meshes and smaller size)

Crows and Ravens (plus optimized mesh)

Flying Crows

Crabs

Snow Hares of Skyrim

Otters (plus non-aggressive patch and sound edits)

Crystal Mudcrabs

Seagulls of Skyrim

Nocturnal Moths

Lepidoptera - More Butterflies and Moths

Frogs (plus optimized mesh, quieter sounds, and this one for glowing Blackreach frogs :) )

Some more vanilla animals edits:

Better Bats

Real Rabbits HD

Better Foxes

Hulking Horkers

Boars Unbound

Bristleback Boars

Bears and Werebears

Steeds of Skyrim (obsessed with the Nordic unicorn 😍)

SpiRally's Beautiful Butterflies Enhanced

MM - Real Elks

Birds and Flocks

Solstheim Mudcrabs Variant

Highland Cows More Wooly

Holy Cows

Dragons:

Higher Poly Vanilla Dragons

Diverse Dragons

Chaos Dragons (plus tweaks)

KS Dragon Overhaul 2

Dragon Animation Replace (plus DAR/OAR integration)

Creatures Preview

Dragon Combat Animations

Kojak's Inquisitive Dragons (Inquisitive ones only)

I don't recommend all of these together unless you don't mind living in xEdit for awhile

[kittythelitter]

Thinking about a stobin focused shifter au where anyone who spends a little too long in the upsidedown becomes a shifter to a slightly demo/unsettling/vaguely off version of whatever animal they're most like, and control is hard, and amount of time spent in the upsidedown correlates to how much time you can/need to spend in shifted form.

So like Will, even after he gets control, needs to/wants to spend like half his time shifted but can't be shifted full time.

After getting stuck in the tunnels Hopper is like. Needs an hour/day on average and can stay shifted for up to 6 hours at a time.

After the tunnels Dustin, Lucas, Max, Steve, and Mike need a few hours a week/can stay shifted up to 3 hours at a time ish.

And then after season 4, Steve is up to Will levels because he got double (or even triple depending on how you look at it) exposed.

Robin, Nancy, and Eddie are like. Slightly more than Hopper. Like maybe need 1.5-2 hours a day can stay shifted for like 8 hours if necessary.

Dustin is now almost Hopper level because he got exposed a second time.

It takes time to learn control and obviously Will gets the most control quickly followed by everyone who got exposed in season 2. When the younger teens are going through puberty their control fluctuates enough that they all have to take time off from school to work on it. Steve is the best of the Season 2 Crew at getting and maintaining control because he has a lot of practice with physical activity and conditioning and personal discipline when it comes to sports and body control. El can help to a certain extent.

Anyway. All this to say. I can't decide on animals for everyone and I'd love input.

Steve is very much dog. He's loyal and protective and all that good stuff. And he mostly seems like a normal dog maybe with a little bit of a skin condition that makes his skin under his fur a weird texture but mostly normal except when he gets protective sometimes his mouth opens too big and he has too many teeth and bigger claws.

For Hopper I'm thinking also Dog but like. A dog that is Off. There's something weird about that dog like those dogs that look like they might be people in fur suits from certain angles.

Will I'm thinking something small and good at hiding. Like a burrowing rodent maybe. Like a rabbit or a hamster or a mouse or a Rat.

Henry/Vecna/One is a turkey or maybe a turkey vulture because turkeys are ugly and evil.

Dustin I wanna say small predator mammal like a weasel or a ferret or a stoat but IDK.

Mike is i think a very similar dog to Steve and HATES that they're so similar but I'm open to suggestions.

Max is a cat.

Lucas is also a cat because I don't have a better one for him except maybe also a dog like Steve because he and Steve are also similar and he looks up to Steve but I think it would be cute if he and Max were both cats but like very different kinds of cats but I'm very open to input here.

Robin is also a Cat (can you tell cats are my favorites?)

Nancy is some kind of persistence predator I think. Maybe a cat maybe something smaller and cuter but also deadlier. Like those super cute tiny wild cats that are the most deadly predators you know? I'd love input from people who know more about Nancy I love her but I don't get her like I get Robin yk?

Eddie is a raccoon or a bat but I will take feedback on this

Please let me know what you think and if you have other ideas for what animals they should all be.

Really tho I'm just. Imagining the cuddle piles and also Robin and Steve being inseparable in all forms but particularly Robin getting one of those tennis ball chuckers to tire Steve out when he's in a Mood and like. Everyone who doesn't Know thinks Robin has a pet dog and her parents are like. We think it's actually Steve's dog but it likes Robin more and she is more of a cat person but she loves This Dog in particular.

Also. Eddie having a compulsion to dig through everyone's stuff including dirty laundry piles and trash. And Eddie accidentally instinctively washing his weed and being like. Oh shit. Shouldn't have done that.

[alexandersimpleton]

So, au where Frederick is part of the pastel family, because he's basically part of the pastel family.

So, we've established that Maria has "cute" animals (like deer and birds), Lorena has flowers, Gwen has "vermin" (rats, possums, I headcannon bats), and Jamie has scary animals (bears, big cats, etc). So I'm thinking Frederick would have insects (and similarly tiny things). He wakes up covered in butterflies, and likes talking to the nice spider he found in the pantry while the rest of his family (including Jack) run around in a mas hysteria.

[handweavers]

living literally in the jungle and hearing a hundred different strange animal noises a day that sound so close you can't tell if they're outside or inside the house but outside and inside are fluid spaces because no room is fully 100% enclosed and it's got my stupid canuck nervous system acting like a skittish cat but i'm learning to be fine it's fine it's all fine. i am in the jungle. i think there are bats living on my balcony. i'm on 8mg codeine. i saw a rat running on 2 legs with the husk of some kind of nut from a nearby 30 ft tall tree in his tiny hands through the middle of my kitchen earlier. i saw macaques having sex on a roof the other morning during breakfast. it's all fine

[spamtonheaven]

I want to adopt one or more spamtons/tiny spamtons and I was wondering if they get along with other pets like cats, dogs or rats because I have 3 dogs lol.

[Image ID: the blog named wingless bat asks, "I want to adopt one or more spamtons/tiny spamtons and I was wondering if they get along with other pets like cats, dogs or rats because I have 3 dogs lol." The reply is a two-panel drawing of a purple person attempting to feed their four baby spamlings. The first panel is three spamlets cheering as the purple person prepares doggy dishes of dollar bills on a counter top, but one spam is running as if to tackle. The person says, "Just a second, guys! I'm almost done! You'll get yours, fellas!" The second panel is the purple person screaming "What the fifty percent off?!" as the running spamlet tackles and bites their ankle. Two of the spamlings are climbing the cabinets toward the dishes while the last one sits on the floor and cries for no reason. End ID]

i won't lie, it's probably best to start out with a grown spam who's already housebroken and gets along with other pets! i think theres lots of rescues who would be a great fit, but a baby spam that hasn't grown out of temper tantrums yet might be harder to work with if you already have several pets-

but, on the bright side, i have four if you want to take any home!! please!! theyve learned how to open doors on their own now... if youre not worried about training or housebreaking them, i can totally let you adopt! theyre super cuddly when they behave, i swear!

[magnus-the-maqnificent]

Lost Book of the White Countdown Event - Magic

A Second Heartbeat

(Read on Ao3)

Alec woke up to the sound of faint crying from the baby monitor.

He got out of bed and stretched, his spine cracking as he bent sideways. On the bed, Magnus was still fast asleep, having stayed up late to take care of Max. A small smile came up on Alec's face and he leaned over, pecking Magnus on the cheek before leaving the room.

After a quick diaper change and a lot of mollycoddling, Alec stepped out into the living room with Max in his arms. He left Max on the playmat and went into the kitchen to prepare Max's formula. As he worked, he could hear Max moving around in the living room, and the occasional clanging sound which indicated that he was throwing his toys around.

Alec prepared a quick coffee for himself and a bottle of formula for Max. Downing his coffee in one go - one advantage of being a Shadowhunter was that burns from hot food were insignificant - and stepped out to feed Max.

Max, Alec noticed, had crawled away from the playmat and was sitting somewhat close to where Alec kept his weapons. His stele had rolled away from the stock, and Alec's eyes widened when he saw Max reaching out to grab the stele.

"Max, no!" Alec yelled, running to stop him. Adamas would burn his skin. He couldn't afford to let his baby get hurt.

Max turned at the sound, his eyes wide as he took in Alec running towards him. He held up a hand, and Alec's mouth fell open when he felt his legs go out under him. There were blue sparks flitting about his body, a few shades lighter than Magnus's, and Alec relaxed when he realised that it was just Max's magic.

"Maxie," Alec said softly, looking into Max's eyes. "Put me down."

Max only stared at him, unable to comprehend his words.

"Put me down," Alec repeated, pointing to the ground. Max's eyes flickered to the ground, and he made a random gesture with his hand.

Unfortunately, it didn't have the intended effect. For a moment, Alec thought that nothing had happened, but then something hit him in the head. He gasped and spun around, and saw that all of Max's toys were now floating in the air as well, flying around the room. Max giggled, and Alec almost groaned at the thought of spending the whole day floating around.

But then he realised that he could move instead of just floating idly. He experimentally waved his arms and legs, testing their motility. He could move well enough, but it was as if gravity didn't work on him. Unfortunately, there wasn't anything nearby to grab on to, so he was stuck floating there for a while.

"Max," Alec said, leaning towards him and holding out the bottle of formula. "Come on, drink."

Max took one look at the bottle and turned his face away.

"Oh, come on, now, don't be like that," Alec protested. "Max, come here."

Max made a faint noise of protest and tried to crawl away. Alec yelped and flailed his arms, just barely managing to grab the sleeve of Max's onesie.

"Gotcha." Alec grinned. He pulled himself closer to Max and picked him up, ignoring his whine of protest.

He somehow managed to pull himself into a sitting position and fed Max the formula, though it was an odd situation. He could feel Max's magic surround him, holding him up. It felt safe, just like Magnus's did.

It wasn't the first time Max utilized his magic, intentionally or otherwise. He and Magnus had found him floating in the nursery several times, fast asleep and completely oblivious to his situation. One time, when he was still in a sleepy daze, Alec found a bat in the cradle and nearly screamed. It took him several minutes and a magical checkup by Magnus for him to realize that the bat was actually Max. 

Right now, Alec focused on staying perfectly still as he held Max in his arms. Max waved his arms about as he drank, making the toys fly around in circles. Max’s eyes were wide and full of wonder as he watched the toy airplanes and dinosaurs fly around, blue sparks trailing them like comet tails. Alec’s heart softened at the sight. He was familiar with magic, to the point where it felt like a second heartbeat sometimes. Any other Shadowhunter might have felt uncomfortable in this situation, but not Alec. 

An hour or so had passed when Alec finally heard the rustling of covers from his and Magnus’s bedroom.

He sighed in relief. Alec had let Max down onto the floor after feeding him, and he crawled around the floor, letting more magic loose. Luckily Alec’s phone was in his pocket, so he managed to bid his time while keeping an eye on Max at the same time, making sure he never ventured towards his weapons. He’d tried to move, but while he could move his body, he couldn’t exactly move sideways or up and down without a leverage, which he had none of. Now that Magnus was awake, he could hopefully set this straight.

Max was on the ground, playing with two plush dinosaurs. He appeared to be making them fight, both the toys sparking with blue magic. The toys slipped out of Max’s grasp, but stayed floating, and Max laughed.

Magnus stepped out, dressed in only a golden silk robe and underwear, and stopped short when he saw the scene in front of him.

“What’s going on?” Magnus asked, his eyes flicking all around the room and then settling on Alec. “And why do you have pink hair?”

“I have what?” Alec asked, reaching up to touch his hair. Of all the things he had expected Magnus to comment on, his hair definitely wasn't it.

For instance, there were the toys zipping around the room, the Chairman sitting on the couch nearby with his fur dyed a violent neon yellow, the random toads hopping around on the floor, not to mention Alec himself floating in the middle of the room in a blurb of blue magic.

Magnus's lips curved up into an amused smile. "Trying out a new look, darling?" 

Alec snorted. "I wish. Do you think you can reverse this?"

Magnus raised his eyebrows and pulled back his sleeves. "Darling, I'm the High Warlock of Brooklyn. I can-"

But Magnus didn't get to finish his sentence. Max had spotted him and flailed his arms, unleashing more magic, and Alec gasped when Magnus vanished, his robes dropping to the floor in a golden heap.

"Magnus?" Alec called out, a stab of worry growing in his chest. Max blinked, confuddled, at the now empty spot and turned his attention back to the fighting plush dinosaurs. Alec stared at the robes, on the verge of panic, when the robes shifted and a tiny black head poked out of them.

It was a cat. A tiny black cat with very familiar eyes that Alec could see with his keen vision.

"Magnus?" Alec asked, his voice very low.

The cat let out a tiny, annoyed meow. Alec let out a bark of surprised laughter, hardly unable to believe it. 

"It's really you?" Alec asked, leaning downwards in his direction. Even in his current situation, Magnus's annoyed face was unmistakable. Him being a cat meant that it would be a while before Alec's feet were on the ground again, but this was worth it.

"Okay, fine, it's you alright. Come here." Alec beckoned with his hand for Magnus to come closer. Magnus stared at him for a moment, then slowly trotted forward with his head lowered. He seemed embarrassed by the whole affair.

Alec laughed and picked him up like he did Max earlier, turning on his back and letting Magnus sit on his chest.

"You're such an adorable cat," Alec cooed, petting his head. Magnus let out a growl, swatting at Alec's hand with his paws. It did nothing to deter Alec's amusement, though.

A shriek of laughter caught Alec's attention, and he looked at Max just as a rain of glitter cascaded down on the room, covering everyone with a fine layer of glitter. Alec looked at Max, who had his hands in the glitter and was tossing it all around, and then at Magnus, whose fur had turned completely glittery.

"At least he's having fun," Alec said as another peal of laughter rang out. Max was on his belly now, flapping his hands against the floor and sending clouds of glitter rising into the air. Magnus made a meowing sound which he took as an agreement.

Alec tilted his head, looking at Magnus, then tried petting him again. This time, Magnus leaned into the touch, purring enthusiastically as Alec rubbed the sensitive skin behind his ears, the way he often did with Chairman Meow. As if sensing this thought, the Chairman meowed loudly from where he was sitting, no doubt protesting this unfair division of attention.

Alec ignored him - Chairman would get his attention later, anyway, and quietly snuck out his phone, snapping a picture of Magnus. Magnus’s ears perked up at the sound of the camera snapping, and he meowed loudly in protest, belaboring Alec's chest with his paws. Not that it hurt, anyway.

Alec laughed - he was having way too much fun with this - but before he could do anything else, the magic gave out and he fell to the ground.

He groaned when he felt something land on top of him, something much heavier than a cat, and opened his eyes to see Magnus now in human form lying on top of him. Magnus propped himself up on his elbows, blinking away the after-effects of the transformation.

"Oh my God, that was so weird," he said. "I'm never teasing Simon for being a rat again."

"I don't know," Alec said, stifling his laughter. "You'd both make a good cat and rat duo."

Magnus groaned, and Alec let his laughter out this time.

"Speaking of which," Magnus said, looking at him seriously. "Delete that picture."

"No," Alec said bluntly.

"Alec-"

"What? You looked cute!"

"It's not fair! I didn't get to take a picture of you with pink hair!"

Alec stuck his tongue out at Magnus. "Your loss."

Magnus muttered something under his breath and surged in, kissing Alec on the mouth. Alec gasped and tilted his face, deepening the kiss, their lips pressed firmly together. He cupped Magnus's face, experimentally brushing his fingers against the soft hair behind Magnus's ear, and was rewarded with Magnus moaning low in his throat. Alec snorted, unable to help it, and Magnus froze. Alec could feel the flat disapproving curve of his mouth against his.

"Sorry," Alec mumbled and broke out into a fit of laughter. Magnus sighed and stood up, leaving Alec to laugh by himself on the ground.

He stopped when he heard the sound of rustling cloth, and looked at Magnus, who appeared to have just pulled on his underwear and was picking up the robe.

Alec's eyes widened. He remembered that Magnus's robe had fallen off when he turned into a cat, which meant…

"Were you naked?" Alec asked. Magnus nodded with a sly smile, pulling his robe on.

"Damnit," Alec muttered.

Magnus stuck his tongue out at Alec. "Your loss. Besides, no swearing in front of-"

He broke off, looking away, and his eyes softened immediately. Alec followed his gaze and saw Max lying on his belly, clearly asleep.

"He must've exhausted himself with all the magic," Magnus muttered. 

"Yeah, I suppose he did."

All of the magical effects had faded away - Alec's hair and Chairman's fur was back to their original color, all the toys were on the ground, but the glitter and toads he had summoned still remained.

Alec got to his feet and picked Max up, taking him away to put him back in his cradle.

Later, Alec asked Magnus over breakfast, "Did you ever go all magic on the house when you were a baby?"

Magnus shrugged, taking a bite out of his sandwich. "Might have. It makes more sense that my magic showed up unintentionally like this. I mean, if I was an Indonesian woman in the 1600's and walked in on my son floating around the ceiling with strange cat eyes…"

Magnus shrugged, letting the gesture complete his sentence for him. Alec sighed and reached out, ruffling Magnus's hair. 

"I don't know about all that, but you do make a cute cat."

Magnus let out an annoyed grunt, and Alec couldn't help but laugh again. He leaned in, kissing Magnus on his cheek.

"Will you let me keep the picture if I let you turn my hair pink? Only inside the house, though. Jace’s teasing will never stop if he sees me like that."

"Well, why settle for pink when there's a lot of colors available?" Magnus said gleefully, waving his fingers and letting blue sparks flicker about.

Any other Shadowhunter might have been wary of those sparks, but Alec wasn't. Magic was familiar to him, almost like a second heartbeat.

But no matter how much magic was around him, this special magic that he and Magnus shared, their love, was the most precious of all.

[cool-guysyndrome]

(I was gonna post this to Instagram first but the story got too long so here sees it first skkdhdh)

Title: dammit why do i always give the angst a resolution

TW: anxiety attack, heckloads of angst, swearing because virgil+stress=i get to write swearwords

Patton paced the dimly lit room, becoming more agitated with every step. He didn't know where he was, why he was there, how he got there, anything. It was awful being completely in the dark, thrown randomly into some foreign place with no forewarning or instructions. He had so many questions that it was hard to think at all. Where were his friends? Were they okay? Were they even in the same place as him? What if they were across the country or something? How would he find them? Where even was this country? Was he in a country? Why was he in a weird castle thingy on a mountain? It was scary up so high. What were these weird clothes he was wearing? What was wrong with him? Why could he suddenly create a weird green fire with his hands? Was he going crazy?

Patton sat down and leant against the cold stone wall, trying to steady his breathing. Was this how Virgil felt when he had an anxiety attack?

He looked down at his hands, scared to accidentally replicate the spectacle he had made when he went outside and set a tree on fire.

"Maybe i can control it?" He thought aloud. Worth a try.

Patton shut his eyes and tried to focus his thoughts on the tingly feeling that had spread through his fingertips when he made the fire the first time. Sure enough, he felt a soft heat begin to emanate from where his hands were outstretched, and when he opened his eyes he saw the small green flame dancing across his fingertips.

He found that he could make the flame larger or smaller by mentally compressing it, like a camera's focus lens. It was amazing, but at the same time it scared Patton more than any fear he'd ever felt before. This wasn't a kind power. This was something destructive, something dangerous. If this power was any clue to why he was in this strange place, it was not a comforting one.

Patton released his mental hold on the fire and it dissipated into nothing. He realised with a start that he had been crying while watching it, and he wiped his cheeks dry with a sleeve.

Whatever this was, it wasnt going to be easy, and how his heart ached every time he thought about the others was really not helping. Especially Virgil. Sweet, lovely Virgil, who was always kind and worried for Patton as much as his mother did, was probably hurting just as much as he was. That thought would have killed Patton, but his thoughts were mercifully interrupted by a-

---

-'CRASH!'

"Fuck. Just when i thought my day couldn't get better huh."

Virgil glared at the fallen ornament like it was personally responsible for all the wrongs in the world, which it probably was in his eyes.

He crouched down with a sigh and picked up the broken pieces of ceramic. There were far too many breakable things in this stupid palace for someone as clumsy and lazy as him to be around.

He found some servant to give the pieces to, waving off their apologies and persistent praise. It was exhausting, all this social interaction. Virgil wondered how Roman ever wished for this kind of thing, but he supposed Roman was the only person crazy enough to like it.

He kept walking, slow enough to still pass as a walk, but fast enough that he could escape to his room as quickly as possible. Finally he reached safety, locking the door behind him. He sunk to the floor, exhausted.

"This place is fucking crazy. I think im going crazy." He told the empty room.

"I dont know what they want me to do half the time, and they treat me like the fucking king of the universe more than some stupid prince. I just want to go home and not have to deal with this stupid, stressful, nonsensical place and its mad inhabitants!"

He ran a hand through his hair.

"Inhabitants? What am I saying? Fuck, i sound like Logan."

Logan. The others. Shit. "Great now thats just a whole other problem as well. Wonderful. Fucking fantastic!"

Virgil stood up and took his cape off, tired if the heavy and unnecessary clothes. He started to anxiously pace the room, caught up in a flurry of thoughts that were making it a little hard to breathe.

"Shit. Shitshitshit. The others. Are they safe? I need to go find them. Are they even here? What if theyre in trouble? Logan and Roman might be okay on their own, but Pat..."

Virgils voice trailed off as his mind thought a horrible, terrible thing. Patton. Gentle, bubbly Patton, the light of his life, could be in danger. Or worse, already hurt. Virgil fell back to the floor, every inhale more of a struggle than the last. His whole body filled up with an overwhelming sense of dread that drowned out any of his attempts to calm himself down. His heart began to pound like it wanted to escape his chest, and he pulled at his hair like he wanted to rip it out. He thought he heard a strangled scream from someone nearby. Why were they screaming? He should be the one screaming. Then he realised that it was his own voice, and he was the one emitting the heartbroken cry. He managed to stop his screams but there was no ceasing the sobs that wracked his body as he lay curled on the floor, his mind repeating a single horrible thought a million times-

---

-over Patton's head flew a tiny streak of black, and it seemed to be hurt because it wasnt flying in a very coordinated fashion. One wing was flapping a lot less than the other.

Patton waited for the little animal to settle, then he stood a few feet away from where it had landed on the table.

"Hey, hey, I'm not gonna hurt ya. You look like you need a bit of help, actually, little guy."

He started moving towards the table very slowly so he didnt startle the creature.

"Hey, its okay, im gonna help you, alright? Lets have a look at that wing."

Patton continued to talk soothingly to the little creature until he was close enough that he could reach out and touch it. He saw that the animal was a small black bat, and one of its wings had a splinter of wood in it, not enough to do bad damage, but enough to affect its flying ability.

Patton slowly outstretched his hand, and waited for the small animal to make a move first, as a kind of permission. The little bat looked up at him with big black eyes with a shine of blue in them, and if it were human Patton would have sworn it was studying his face.

Then, all of a sudden, he heard a voice say, "Help?"

He nearly fainted.

"What?! Did you- did you just speak?!"

He watched the bat carefully, but its little face didnt move an inch even though he heard the voice clear as day. "Help wing?"

Patton couldn't help staring at the little creature.

"How are you doing that?!"

"Person help wing? Yes, no?"

"Oh my goodness gracious. And i thought the fire was weird."

"Help wing, yes, no?"

"Yes, yes, sorry, yes, ill help you. May i?"

Patton held out a hand to the bat's wing. The little creature obliged and lay its wing across his hand.

"If i ever see him again, i will definitely tell Virgil about this. He'll hate me for it because he's always wanted to talk to animals."

"Vir..gil?"

"Yea, hes my boyfriend."

"Oh. Boy Friend Virgil." The little animal seemed to think for a second, then it spoke again.

"Boyfriend, Virgil. I, Jazzy. You?"

"What?" Patton took a second to realise what the little creature meant.

"Oh, is that your name? Oh! Its lovely! I'm Patton!"

"Pat..ton. Patton. Patton help Jazzy."

"Yes, thats right, im helping you! By the way, are you a boy or a-

---

-Gurl you are a mess. You're lucky i can pick locks hun."

Remy closed the door quietly and went to sit beside where Virgil still lay on the floor.

"I heard you scream. Good thing i convinced those other losers that I'd handle this." He glanced down at Virgil again, noting his fists still clenched in his hair.

His voice was a bit more firm as he continued. "Virgil. Can i touch you?"

The purple-haired boy hesitated a moment, then shakily nodded through his hands. Remy gently pried his hands down from his hair.

"Can you sit up for me?"

Virgil did.

"Okay. Can you copy my breathing? 4-7-8 yeah?"

Virgil nodded.

Once Remy was sure that Virgil was no longer in such a bad state, he got him to sit on his bed and gave him a glass of water.

"Thanks." Virgil managed as Remy handed him the glass.

"Youre fine, gurl, i get this kind of thing a lot. The staff here get stressed all the time and someones gotta help calm 'em down, y'know?"

"Yeah."

"Besides, gotta have you in top condition so i can 'scold you' as Perce puts it, or as i like to say, roast your sorry ass."

"Really? What did i fuck up this time?"

"Oooh gurl you wouldnt believe it. So much that the cat wants your hide."

"The cat?"

"The cat."

Virgil wasn't quite smiling, but his eyes werent as sad any more.

Remy lay back on his bed like he owned it.

"Nah, I'm messing with ya."

"I know." Virgil couldnt help a small smile.

"Its not the cat, hun, its the rats that cat's chasing that want your blood. Have fun arguing with rodents."

"That bad huh?"

"Nah not really. Percy wants to help you with some stuff you were struggling with today."

"Struggling?" Virgil raised an eyebrow at the other man.

Remy chuckled. "Gurl, you and i both know you aren't really the prince. Gotta have someone in on the secret to help before everyone is."

"Touché."

After Remy left, Virgil lay back on his bed, realising just how exhausted he was. This wasn't going to get any easier. But maybe it could, at the very least, be possible.

[tombeane-blog]

Come! Take!

December 2022

Some dirty, stinking, commie pinko, rat b@$^rds have been stealing my rat poison! 

Why they are so attracted to it I don't know. But it's like meth-mixed-with-cocaine-topped-with-fentanyl to these guys.

I once sniffed it - and - nothing.  Don't get the attraction.

I ended up talking this puzzle over with Vern who furrowed his brow, pursed his lips and said, "Whyncha take a bite and see what it tastes like?".

Since Vern is one Partridge In A Pear Tree short of a Merry Christmas, I decided like everyone else to do my own sciensensical research. 

So I logged on to the google.  

After just moments of poking around, I concluded that almost all of the on-line science guys recommended quite the opposite of Vern.

Not knowing for sure, I'm going with my gut here and I'm just accepting that for some reason rats love this stuff.

But irresistible attraction or not there's no excuse for what has been happening this past week.

First, picture that my chunks of rat poison are about the size of medium sized hamburger buns.   

Usually, the rats merely nibble on them.  And the chunks get smaller as the weeks go by and more and more of the b@$^rds commit ratricide.

Sometimes one rat, no doubt with help, would drag off a whole clump of the stuff.   

Then they would just quietly go away and die.  No corpse, no dead rat smell in my garage.  And for months - no rats. 

To paraphrase Josef Stalin(stealing from Anatoly Rybakov),  “Death solves all problems — no rat, no problem.”

No one made them eat it.  Fair fight.  Justice served.  Man over beast.  Nature's way.

The current nightmare started a few days ago when overnight one chunk disappeared. 

Then the next night two more vanished.   

Satisfied that at least a half dozen rats the size of small house cats had gone to the great dumpster in the sky - I put out two new, even bigger, chunks that I thought no rat could possibly carry.  

The next morning they were both gone.  

I was tossing and turning in bed last night trying to visualize how all this must have played out - three big chunks and two giant chunks stolen in just 4 days.

As I drifted off halfway between thinking and dreaming, I envisioned a secret tunnel in my back yard and a gang of slicked back, greasy haired rodents, all wearing tiny little leather jackets (made from mice that were slaughtered in the last great rat/mouse conflict). 

On the back of each jacket was a tiny mouse skull and the words "Hells Rats" written in Helvetica .015 font.  

I imagined these rat b@$^rds all huddled in a circle sitting on their haunches while the alpha rat b@$^rd laid out a detailed attack plan for what would become known as "The Great Garage Glob Grab". 

listening in..."Here plan. Rats go, steal glob, run, hide, eat, poop, get many girlrat".

"But RatVinnie....  glob big, glob heavy, how carry glob?"

"RatVern weak, skinny ratnerd!  Me big. Me strong.  Me carry."

Then I picture RatVinnie as he drops down and rolls onto his back. 

Using his teeny little Popeye looking rat arms, he demonstrates to RatVern and all the other doubting rat b@$^rds how he can easily bench press almost 250 grams. 

All the while yelling, "See!  Big!  Strong!  Me carry!"

Today I put out two even bigger chunks and tonight I'll be sitting quietly, all alone in my cold, dark garage.  

A small flashlight gripped in my teeth, a baseball bat in my left hand and a 9mm in my right.  

Quietly whispering over and over....

"Mono Labe, rat b@$^#ds, Mono Labe"

[dravidious]

Okay so I think I've got 5 good aspects:

You are so smol and tiny and the world is so big (expected colors: W/B. type candidates: insect, rat, bat)

You can FLY and you have WINGS (W/U, bird)

You wake up from your nightmare. The memories of "working a job" and "paying rent" are already fading from your mind. You are simply a little creature with no responsibilities. (U/G, frog, crab, fish, jellyfish, lizard, slug, turtle)

Teeth and claws and anger and biting you biting you biting you bi (R/G, wolf, beast)

You are going to cause SO many problems and mischief and no one can stop you. (B/R, raccoon, cat, gremlin, hyena, squirrel)

If there's any other good Creature Aspects that I missed, especially ones more major than these or that tie into these, feel free to mention them. I'm also accepting suggestions and arguments for which creature type should be the focus for each aspect

I'm making magic cards about being a little Creature and I'm trying to capture 5-6 major Creature Urges, so please tag or reply with a nice reason to be a Creature and maybe an example of a Creature that would suit that. Stuff like "I wanna be a little bastard that causes mischief and problems so I wanna be a raccoon or something" or "I wanna be cute and fluffy and have no responsibilities so I wanna be a cat"