#idk I just felt bad not doing things without explanation. although this isn’t much of an explanation

[suave-hogan]

☀️

[scintillatingshortgirl19]

Episode 4 Rewatch Thoughts

So first of all, I would definitely say that I have...calmed down a considerable amount since my first watch, so to speak. @delyth88 said some things in her rewatch post about being able to adapt to things and enjoy the episode more the second time due to knowing what's coming rather than having to deal with the uncertainty - which I how I feel about it as well and is a trend I experienced with episodes 1-2 as well, and in some ways episode 3. Once I had a chance to recover a bit from the narcissist thing and the romance thing, it turned out there were a lot of things I really liked! The big issues I had haven’t gone away by any means, and honestly a couple of the biggest ones aren’t even things that specifically happened in this episode - the first is just the gradual realization I’m having that I don’t think they are ever going to properly address Loki’s past trauma, and all those plot points the MCU just dropped are probably forever going to stay that way. And that fucking sucks, there’s no reason it had to be like this, and I don’t see how I could ever not be upset about that or truly get over it. The other thing is that it’s just incredibly frustrating and sad to me that all those theories about Loki having some kind of other plan in episode 3 to explain the bizarre incompetence we saw, or payoff for the weirdness that was the TemPad breaking scene, literally just amounted to nothing. All these things I hoped were intentional subtext turned out to just be nothing more than...bad writing? So yeah, I’m pretty disappointed about that. But at this point I’m trying to enjoy the series for what it is as much as I can, and on the second watch I really did enjoy a lot about this episode. So yeah, long-ass intro aside, here are my (hopefully more coherent this time) thoughts about episode 4:

Damn, that scene with Sylvie as a child really highlights how inhumane and barbaric the TVA is. Seeing her in that little prison uniform was...oof. Not that we didn’t already know the TVA was terrible, but I appreciate that they���re making it unmistakably clear for the general audience.

It's genuinely a good thing that they're going into Sylvie's trauma, and it's important to the plot, but I can't even put into words how frustrating it is to see them do that while simultaneously refusing to address Loki's. (you know, the protagonist?)

"Kind of an asshole and a bad friend" LMAO Mobius the TVA was holding Loki captive and was eventually going to kill him, can you really blame the guy for trying to escape?? Also an additional episode establishing that friendship would have been good - as much as I'm glad they consider each other friends, it felt premature for either of them to use that word yet.

I have mixed feelings about the Sif scene - overall I like it, but I do have some issues:

Pros: 

-   Loki whump! Both physical and emotional! (I want to see Loki win but I also like whump. It's complicated. Also I'm confused about where exactly she kneed him? Everyone is saying crotch but the first time he's holding his inner thigh so I thought it was there? Anyway if it is the crotch I'm not a huge fan of that particular decision, but my general feelings about whump still stand.) 

-    Lots of sad Loki faces, talking about fear of being alone - good stuff!

Cons: 

-    The first of the dreaded "narcissist" mentions

-    It’s kind of odd that he never even tried fighting back?

-    This also could have been an opportunity to acknowledge Loki's trauma, and as usual, they did not take it. I would have maybe liked a scene where Odin was being a dick to Loki and we got an acknowledgement of some of the emotional abuse. They probably could've worked Loki's fear of being alone into just about any memory. Did it really have to be a scene about how Loki's in the wrong? And in itself I have no issue with Loki facing the mistakes he's made! But I've been waiting 10 goddamn years for just one character or even a single solitary line of dialogue to acknowledge that Loki was wronged too, and by all appearances it still isn't going to happen and I'm just fucking tired.

And about the narcissist thing - it's frustrating because if they would just do it right, it could actually be really good?? If an element of the story was Loki (and Mobius) thinking he was a narcissist and then realizing he actually isn't, that would be amazing. The problem is, I'm fairly certain they are not going to go that route. I feel like it'll be more along the lines of "yeah you're a narcissist but you can be Good!" instead of acknowledging that Loki was never a fucking narcissist in the first place. Tbh it makes sense that both Loki and Mobius might think Loki's a narcissist, or throw around the term without knowing what they’re talking about - there are great explanations and meta about that - the real problem for me is that, in the eyes of the general audience, it confirmed a harmful and unfortunately very popular misconception about Loki, and it also perpetuates an incorrect view of what a narcissist is. Those are the main reasons I'm mad about it; if they purposefully, explicitly contradict it later it'll probably be fine! I just really don't think they're going to.

Tbh, after the second watch I'm a lot less mad about the shitty things Mobius said while interrogating Loki - it still hurt to hear and I'd still love an apology, but from Mobius' perspective it honestly makes sense that he wouldn't pull any punches considering he thinks Loki is partially responsible for killing the minutemen and Hunter C-20, and is trying to bring down the TVA.

I do still think Mobius turning on the TVA felt rushed. I'm delighted he got there, and the way he realized things made sense - it just happened unrealistically fast. I felt like a lot of things were rushed, and honestly I think more things will probably feel rushed in these last two episodes as well. This is something I felt with The Falcon and the Winter Soldier too - like they needed at least eight if not more episodes to give proper space for the story and character arcs they were trying to squeeze in. Six episodes just isn't enough.

Although, that said, while I still think this episode had weird pacing it didn't really bother me that much on the second watch? Probably because I already knew what the sequence of events was going to be.

The scene when Mobius was pruned was amazing - I loved Loki's emotions, and the way he walks down the hallway still kind of crying but mostly just looking utterly dead inside? *chef's kiss*

The timekeepers scene still felt off to me, and I still can't really articulate why. It honestly doesn't matter that much to me so I don't want to waste time on it, but I guess it just felt...sort of low-budget? Like we already knew the timekeepers probably weren't real/weren't what they seemed, but did they have to look that obviously fake? Idk.

I'm going to make a separate post about the romance stuff, but basically where I’m at with it is: it's a terrible shame to see such beautiful platonic/sibling energy go to waste, I'm real annoyed about it but trying to make peace with it for my own sanity, and I think there are a million clues pointing to it not actually being romantic but I don't trust that any of those were intentional. So I guess we'll see? 

I'm very intrigued by all the Loki variants. Also I'm curious if Mobius is there as well, or if each variant person has their own world? Either way I'll be shocked if Mobius is actually dead (there's a million reasons for that but the main ones are that it's likely pruning doesn't actually kill any of the variants (not just the Loki ones) and anyway he's supposed to be in 5 episodes). I'm really curious about the variant world in general though and I wonder what exactly the dangers are - why Loki "will be [dead]" if he doesn't come with the other Lokis.

[chronicasexual]

If you wouldn't mind bestie, I'm gonna need that essay on the tdm movie.

inhales

ok here we go

Firstly, the interactions between Ruby and Liam felt so awkward and forced, which was nothing like their very natural bond in the books. It fell into the same problem of many dystopian and/or ya stories which try to force two characters together simply because they exist near each other's vicinity. I still feel mortified watching the scene in the movie where Liam said "iS tHaT wHy yOu dIdn'T wAnT tO kIsS mE." No hate to the actors, it's obvious they weren't given much to work with. Because of this, we never got to see those intimate moments between them felt so raw and comforting. The little things like Ruby instinctively reaching out to touch Liam's face and trying to pull away because she's anxious about her powers, but Liam keeps the hand there and says "Nope, mine now." Or the time she tells him that the space between them is a no-lie area (I can't remember the exact quote but you get the gist). The movie tries to fit their entire love story into an hour and a half and fails to do it effectively, to the point that I can't even understand how they fell in love at all. Oh and bonus cringe moment the scene at East River when everyone's dancing and they compare it to Hogwarts (bestie in what world????? if anything it's similar to camp half-blood) and they call each other Ginny and Harry or something like that before realising that the two end up together felt so unnecessary???? It made them so much more awkward than it needed to be and was obviously set up to make them feel embarrassed but also interested in each other.

Complaint two. Literally, what was the reason for making Chubs a Green? Is it not possible to be smart without a power to make you so? Chubs isn't smart because his ability made him that way, he's just smart because he is and even though he doesn't really admit it because it sounds unrealistic in their situation, he craves a further education. His powers never influenced him as a character, and he only used them two or three times overall. If anything it just played into the stereotype of the kid with glasses being the nerdy character who was also used as comic relief. (also maybe a slight loophole but if Chubs had been a Green wouldn't he had worked out EDO a lot quicker than Ruby did, because there's literally no reason for him not to have done so).

Mini rant but why did the movie make Ruby go back to her parents when she very clearly knew by now that she had erased herself from their memories. She knew they wouldn't recognise her. She had literally no reason to return and basically a waste of like five or ten minutes in the movie. And that small toy?? Maybe it's just me, but I don't get why it was so significant? Was it some sort of advertisement? idk

Also the eyes. The stupid glowing eye thing. Nowhere in the books did it mention them having LED eyes and NO ONE in the movies even brings up the fact that they have glowing eyes when they use their abilities. It's an unnecessary detail. Woudn't you think it would be super easy for PSFs to discover if someone was secretly an Orange hiding as a different colour at Thurmond if they just saw their eyes go orange when they activated and just shoot them🤡. Anyway, not to throw shade but instead of wasting the budget on making their eyes glow they could have actually given Sam a tiny bit more story instead of nothing, or including the bit about Jack and the letter, just saying :)

One final point probably because if I don't stop now I'll be here for ages and it's late but maybe I'll rant some more tomorrow. The movie removed so many compelling plot points that made the story what it is and removed details that were important to explanations. Movie Cate's explanation of "No kids, no economy." isn't accurate because in the book we find out a bunch of other things that happened whilst Ruby was at Thurmond that have led to the collapse of the economy. Sam? Removed. Martin? Removed. Jack? Removed. Ruby's mini argument over almost reading Jack's letter with Liam before having a deep conversation with him? Removed. Alongside a lot of other important thing. The movie feels so empty? It doesn't have much storyline to it, I get that the book was long but they removed so many things that it's an empty shell of what it could have been. The movie is kinda bland ngl. (apologies to anyone who may have enjoyed the movie. although if you did you probably never read the books)

One final final point because I just thought of it on the spot. Chubs saying "I knew you were Orange" very smugly makes no sense. Like. No. You. Didn't? She literally didn't show any signs of being an Orange to them and just existed. I know Greens are smart but he had nothing to infer that from. Actually maybe the glowing eyes gave it away my bad 🤡🤡🤡

[poptod]

Pull the Stars Out of the Sky (And Gift Them to Me), pt. 7, (Ahkmenrah x Reader)

Description: Protection.

Notes: idk when i started writing smut so willy nilly but here it is, another fuckening. Pretty big warning though: dubious consent. It’s clearly consensual later on but at first there is no given consent. WC: 6.8k

+

He had yet to leave your side, taking you with him in every which direction as he, in his own words, marketed himself. It was a process that consisted of being charming and making witty jokes; simple things that had people trusting him. You stood mostly silent beside him, wringing your hands, stuck in distant thoughts. If anyone referred to you, you didn't notice.

They did, though––but if anyone asked about you, Ahk would make up a quick explanation, one he knew you wouldn't mind.

Your silence was originally your constant state, traipsing about the palace with a chain keeping you at Ahk's side. Over the short course of time between Amun first awakening and coming to stay with the Persian nomads, he had already grown used to your laughing, the snide comments always on your razor-sharp tongue, and that lively spark that filled your eyes whenever your heart thumped in your chest.

"You're quiet," he murmured as the two of you walked. You gripped reins in your hand, keeping your camel with all your bags beside you.

"I don't... like travelling with people," you said through gritted teeth, side-eyeing a group of whispering friends to your left.

"It's safer, isn't it?"

"For you," you mumbled bitterly.

"Oh, you're above joining in a caravan?" He said with a teasing lilt.

"I am simply experienced in this," you said, sure to speak under your breath, "and I know how to take care of myself."

Due to the size and needs of a caravan such as Mahud's, you would need to stop thrice a day, each time setting up a little bit of a home at the riverside. Inbetween those breaks, your legs ached with a familiar burn. Long walks had been your staple for a long while. Though your long break from the lifestyle had left you a little out of shape, your previous experience allowed you to navigate your way back in without too much trouble.

Ahk was taking the physical exertion overall well, despite his aching hunger. The stops would allow him to eat, a fact he was very happy to learn, going by the massive grin on his face when you pointed it out. At a few points he was partial to complaining, but always ceased if you glared at him.

The next stop for the slow-moving caravan was by an outcropping stream flowing from the Nile and out into the desert, allowing a small oasis to grow further from the river itself. Although there appeared to be no fruits growing on the tall trees, a few men and women took up nets and spears, wading out into the water to look for fish.

Numbness filled up your legs as you collapsed on the ground, leant against your camel who had also drawn to its' knees. Heat had already pooled in your face and in your feet, burning from the long day, and ready for anything to drink.

"Here," Ahk said as he rounded a bush, kneeling beside you in your shady, isolated spot.

He handed a cup to you, filled with hot tea. Not the most satisfying drink, but it was safest, and you dutifully sipped away. As you watched the other travellers Ahk shifted his position, scooting nearer to you and pressing himself to your side. Instantly his heat began to overcrowd your senses.

"Ahk, it's too hot for me to be touching anyone," you said, shifting away with your back to him.

You probably should've expected him to pull you into him and keep you there, which made you feel all the more foolish when he did it anyway and you didn't expect it at all.

"Ahk..." you whined, half suffocated by his arms wrapping tight round your chest, his face buried in the back of your neck.

"Mmm," he hummed as he took all of you in, nuzzling you with his nose. "I am... tired."

"I'd be astounded if you weren't, but you can't sleep. It's still day and we won't stay here long," you said matter-of-factly, pushing his face away from you.

"I'll just keep you here," he decided, his voice muffled through the fabric of your shirt. "Sleep forever."

"Right," you said, rolling your eyes.

You wormed out the moment he loosened his grip, much to his disappointment.

By nightfall the distant murmurs of a city sounded from ahead, blurred with singing crickets and the steady flow of the Nile beside you. Ahk had spent the rest of the day trying to cheer you up, mostly with bad jokes, but the sentiment was nonetheless there. Still, being surrounded by people for the past fourty-six hours had already taken its' toll. You hardly spoke, your chest felt caved in on itself, and your eyes were trained on the ground below you.

The city ahead, while heralding certainly crowded streets and filled taverns, would suffice as a hospice away from people who had come to learn your name. Whispering in your ear, Ahk informed you this was the city Piye had wanted the two of you to stay at for a little while. If things got worse, you'd move further south, and if they got better, you would return north down the nile.

While at first you tried to sneak away without Mahud noticing, Ahk insisted on giving the man a proper good-bye, and backed this up with the fact that you had been lent a camel. You wouldn't be able to take it with, but it was still a nice consideration for the trip to Aswan.

"We'll be stopping here," Ahk said once Mahud's attention was on the two of you. "We're to meet a friend soon."

"Ah, then I wish you safe travels," said Mahud, patting Ahk on the shoulder with a firm hand.

"Thank you. To you and your family as well. Will you be staying here tonight?" Ahk asked as he gestured to the outer markets of the city, filled with traders who came from far away to make their living, and couldn't afford a roof over their heads.

"I believe so. Tomorrow we make our money and head off again."

"Good luck to you then," Ahk said, silently urging you to say your own farewell.

"Good-bye," you said quietly, bowing your head respectfully.

As you entered the outer rim of the city, the first thing you noticed was the quiet. It wasn't all that late––the sun had set only a little while ago, and it always did that much earlier in the day during the colder months. So you kept your footsteps quiet, instructing Ahk to do the same when he didn't pick up on the eerie silence.

With no one around to direct you every which way, you had to rely off what memory you had of Aswan, as little as it was. You had visited several times, but never for very long. Most of the city was still unexplored to you.

The long light of burning torches cast itself upon the street in front of you, approaching from around the house to your right. Instantly you were darting for cover, hiding the whole of your body behind a large barrel, while you watched Ahk look around the corner.

"Ahk, you fucking idiot, get over here," you hissed, the pounding in your heart begging him to listen to you.

He looked over his shoulder, finding you mostly-hidden, and quickly made to do the same. His spot was on the opposite side of the street, guarded by a practical wall of broken-down stalls. Once Ahk was fully secured you slipped back behind the barrel, calming your quickened breath as footsteps passed you by, numbering somewhere in the tens.

Only when you were fully assured that whoever passed you was not coming back, you joined Ahk in the middle of the road and continued onwards.

"Did you get a look at them?" You asked immediately.

"Yes, but... I'm not sure if I actually saw what I saw," he said, his brow furrowed intensely.

"What does that mean?"

"They had these.. heads on them, feathered and beaked, with massive eyes. Fucking jacked, too," he muttered, pausing to check both ways before crossing the next street.

"Like your Gods?" You asked.

"Like Horus," he said with a nod. "What on Earth are they here for?"

"Just guessing right now, but they might have something to do with you."

He took your hand, and after a long while of searching the streets, you found yourself at the step of a tavern whose lights had long gone out. Again, strange; neither of you remarked upon it, but you did turn to each other with dubious eyes. The smell of mead still came from it, not yet soured or rotten.

Ahk took a cautious step forward, reaching for the door and easily pushing it open. Inside there was the expected darkness, surrounding the knocked-down chairs, broken tables, and spilt beer. Both of you stopped, your shadows stretching before you on the wooden floor as you scanned the whole of the abandoned room. The bar, where you were sure there was once an attendant, was left unmanned and covered in shattered cups, sticky with sweetened alcohol.

The door behind you swung shut, making you whip around. Fortunately it was only Ahk letting go of the door, leaving it to join you nearer to the center of the room, where you could try and peer over the counter.

"Um..." you said.

"Good evening," said a voice, accompanied soon by a man popping out from behind the bar. "How may I help you?"

"Uhhh.. what... what, uh, happened here?" Ahk asked, his expression contorted as he glanced around the room.

"Nasty Egyptian soldiers. They've wrecked up the place, and every time I fix it they come back in and ruin it, so I stopped fixing it. The party's upstairs, if that's what you're after," he said with a too-bright grin on his face.

"Really? And they don't notice that you're up there?"

"Well, they are bird brains," the man said as he leant in, though spoke in a much quieter voice.

"Wait, are they the soldiers with the bird heads on them?" Ahk asked as a revelation came to him.

"Yes, sir. Where've you been?"

"Travelling for the last couple days. How long have they been here?"

"About a week or so now," said the man, looking away as he recalled. "Heard they're crawling all over the other cities, too. So you folks want a room?"

"... sure," you said in a quiet, low voice when Ahk failed to answer.

He handed you a wooden coin with a symbol engraved with fire, informing you that the door with the same symbol was yours. There were no locks and he made sure to tell you that, as well. After offering to carry your bags and earning a 'no,' from you, he pointed you up the stairs, and returned to his spot hidden beneath the bar.

"Odd man," Ahk whispered to you as you climbed the steps.

"Ahk!" You scolded, hitting his shoulder. "We're still in earshot."

How the Horus soldiers hadn't managed to find this place was beyond either of you, as the moment you entered the upper floor you were bombarded with the tunes of dancing music, twirling and playing with the veins of each listener. The thick scent of searing meat filled the whole of the room, rivalled only by the scent of sloshed beer. Most of the food and drink came from a single corner, where a large cask of beer had been set up alongside a furnace, where the one manning the food also managed the distribution of drink.

All around you, people sat and stood, dancing in the middle or resting on the sidelines. Every crate and usable chair was taken up, most people taking seats on the floor instead in great groups of public conversation. You instinctively grew closer to Ahk, trying to keep as far away from others as you could, even as he began to wade through the crowd.

"Hey, don't you think it's a little loud in here? Won't the soldiers find us?" Ahk asked a random stranger, who had happened to stand as the two of you passed her by.

"Egyptian soldiers are hardly valued for their intelligence, young man," she said with a knowing chuckle, before continuing on to the bar.

"Told you," you murmured in his ear as you watched her disappear in the crowd.

"Oh, shut up."

After setting away your bags and manually jamming the door, you rejoined the party on the second floor, partaking in what food and drink you could afford. Piye had given you a good deal of money, but you had no way of knowing how many days or months you would have to stretch that amount across. It was better to keep a good eye on your finances, something Ahk didn't know much about, and left in your capable hands. Though, that hardly stopped him from complaining.

"We got more food when we were staying with Mahud," he whined, his cheek squished against your shoulder.

"That's because it didn't cost any money," you said.

"You are a cruel lover."

"I am, but this has nothing to do with that since we are not lovers."

"We're not?"

"No," you stated, leaning your head back against the wall with closed eyes. "We are, at best, accomplices."

There was no ignoring the sudden change in his energy. He grew quiet, as he so rarely did, and hardly moved to breathe.

As he sulked, you took care to remind yourself of what he was capable of––the strange things he'd said to you, even if they weren't entirely harmful, that had set you in a month-long mood of unease.

"You will stay here. Any attempt on your behalf to leave and I will have to punish you. Understand?"

"Then I am a prisoner," you said, your voice hoarse and broken.

"You are what you make yourself," he said in a much more stern tone, looking down at you with knowing, wary eyes. "If it is a prisoner, then so be it. But you will be, throughout all actions and situations, mine."

"I..."

"You belong to me."

He had not relented in his usage of that claim. In times of peace, in political unrest, he had kept you with him. In times of great bounty, of danger and uncertainty, you had not left him once, and you wondered how sick you would've gotten if you were to go back in time and tell your freshly-met self that you would spend the longer half of a year with him.

You supposed that, in the end, you had joined his collection. The only catch was that it cost him everything else in his ownership, including his kingdom. And yet he seemed perfectly content to lean on your side, even if harsh words came before the silence, and to wait till you returned his affections.

As he touched your shoulder, his muscles went lax, letting him fall limp against you. The moment he intook your scent he was gone, hypnotized by his own adoration for you.

Though your mind fell into a quiet stupor, dancers still circled the room in beat with music. For a moment you wondered how they'd react if they found out the Pharaoh was in their midst.

Aswan was a very Egyptian-type city considering it was still within the borders of Nubia. That meant less worker camps, less fear of Egyptian soldiers, and less knowledge on the impact the Pharaoh stressed upon higher up Nubian cities. Keeping that in mind, you assumed they would try to cozy up to him––spend some of his riches, flirt a little––however it was also possible they worshipped Amun and had already heard of Ahk's treason.

Music began to fade from your mind as the faint sound of footsteps sounded from below you, seeping through the cracks in the mud and wood. They appeared more succinctly the closer you listened, and soon you could identify the number, all marching in unison.

"Ahk," you shook him awake, eyes trained intensely on the floor, "we need to get out of here."

"What?" His sleepy face gave way for concern. "What? What's happening?"

"There's soldiers coming," you said, your grip on his arm tightening.

"Well – the man at the front said they come by every now and then. They haven't found the upstairs yet, they probably won't now," he said.

Muffled voices muttered from below the floor. Ahk opened his mouth to speak again, but you quickly silenced him with your hand, carefully tuning back into the conversation beneath you. A loud crash was followed by silence, and that combination had you jumping to your feet.

"What is it?" Ahk asked, much more panicked now that he noticed your own fear.

"They're coming upstairs," you said as you backed up through the crowd, disturbing those you bumped into.

"They're – oh fuck." Ahk's expression dropped. "The soldiers are coming!"

Ahk yelled his warning over the music, certainly loud enough to assure the soldiers that there were, in fact, people up here. Lutes and harps stuttered to a halt, the pounding of footsteps now clear through the walls.

Panic seized the partygoers. People trampled over one another reaching for their belongings casted aside, hurriedly adjusting them back onto their bodies and making for the windows. Like rats they climbed out, writhing over each other into a mass of fabric and limbs, followed eagerly by you and Ahk. Massive backpacks made it so you were the last out and the only two to see the soldiers yourselves.

The pounding door had you stuck in a trance, only able to back up towards the window. As it slammed open, you finally caught sight of the falcon-headed soldiers, their sharpened spears and sharper eyes, staring empty-minded at you as Ahk pulled you out the window.

"This way!" Came a voice from above you.

You and Ahk quickly looked up, finding a young woman offering you a hand from the rooftop. Ahk took no hesitation in grabbing it, allowing her to hoist him upwards. When he reached down to find your hand, he felt nothing, and panic struck his heart like a searing knife. He ducked his head down, watching the room upside down.

Muscled arms wrapped around your chest and face, blocking your mouth from making practically any sounds at all. The only sound you could make was from kicking your legs frantically.

He jumped back to his feet on the roof, spinning round to the woman who had helped him.

"I need a sword," he said in a rush, desperate eyes already begging.

"Um – ask Imar, I believe he has one," she said, pointing to the man who worked at the bar downstairs. Ahk thanked her in a rush and left.

"Imar!" He called as he jumped from one building's roof to another, approaching where most of the party-goers had gathered. "I need a sword, or a weapon of any sort. Crossbow even."

"I've got a sword, but I need it. There's a stock of axes over there. Don't know who they belong to, though, so take at your own discretion," he said. Ahk once more gave his thanks before running off.

The kink in your neck had only gotten worse the more you struggled, spiking pain down your spine and into your skull each time the soldier's golden bands pressed into the side of your neck. Your already travel-worn shoes were now nearly in shreds, pulling and pushing on the rough gravel roads, occasionally cutting the soles of your feet open. Thus far you had not been allowed to speak, one massive arm nearly cutting off your oxygen supply.

Although you couldn't tell for sure where they were dragging you, you assumed it was towards a temple, as the buildings around you slowly grew more complex and well-kept. A temple seemed a proper place where you could be thrown into whatever underworld Amun lived in.

Being a commodity fought over should've scared you more. There was a panic seizing your nerves, but you were numb to the surprise, instead saving your energy till you could outsmart the soldiers.

Squawking interrupted your harsh breathing, crying out from behind the falcon soldier. You opened your eyes to the dark of night, spying through the shadow-filled alleyway a running figure, followed by the heads of soldiers falling from the city's silhouette. It was then you recalled a very important fact––Amun and his soldiers might've been strong, but Ahk held within him a hunger unlike that of the starved. The hunger of the rich––of pigs and cannibals. A hunger that terrified you to your core.

The first soldier in your sight that emerged from the shadow of buildings soon stopped in its' tracks, tumbling down past its' own knees as the falcon head slipped off human shoulders. Your shocked eyes watched intently, darting upwards to see Ahk with a broad axe.

His blade came down on the last remaining soldier walking behind your captor, blood splurting from the veins and splattering on his face. Much of it landed on your foot, leaving a trail of red as you were dragged, legs still shakily kicking.

He held a finger up to his lips, hushing any muffled screams that might've come from you. Whatever he had planned, you let him do what he deemed necessary, and kept quiet to avoid the suspicion of the soldier restraining you. He raised his axe high above his head, as though he were to strike you down. Terror filled your eyes when the blade came screaming down, splitting the soldier's head in two before it could ever reach you, leaving no mark on you but the pouring blood of the falcon head. The grip on you loosened, and as you pushed yourself away the corpse fell to the ground.

Blood and nerves squelched as Ahk tore the weapon out of the skull, a horrible crack resonating in the empty street when the base of the skull finally split. He panted, droplets of blood falling into his open mouth as he turned to you, eyes frozen and wide.

"You alright?" He asked softly, in a tone so out of character from his current state.

"... yeah," you breathed out.

The axe clattered onto the ground, followed shortly by Ahk falling to his knees. From there he crawled the short distance to you, gently wrapping his arms around your middle, and pulling you into his lap. He buried himself in your neck, hid away in your warmth. The blood covering his midsection soaked through your shirt.

"Ahk, we need to leave, you know there's more of them," you said, though you did not cease in stroking his hair.

"I know," he mumbled, pressing himself tighter to you for a moment before releasing. "They didn't hurt you?"

"Nothing but bruises," you huffed. "Let's go."

You kept near the entrance to the tavern as Ahk wandered back inside, checking behind the counters and in the attic for any trace of the fleeing people. From the roof you could hear muttering, though you couldn't see anyone, and you could vaguely make out the words they were saying.

"Are you the one they're looking for?" A woman asked.

"I did anger an Egyptian god, yes," Ahk said with a curt nod.

"Imar!"

The man from the downstairs bar appeared from over the horizon of another tall rooftop. He was drenched in sweat, practically glowing in the dim moonlight.

"Yes?"

"These are the ones they want," she said, gesturing to Ahk.

"Really?" He said as he dusted his hands off. "The hell did you do?"

"I, um, attacked a God in order to save my.. um... Amoke," he answered rather sheepishly.

"You cannot stay here," Imar said firmly.

"I'm sorry, but we have many other people looking for protection. We will not risk them for two people who have private business with whatever kind of God you worship," the woman said.

"I understand. Keep safe. Do you have any ideas on where we could go for the night?"

"Try the old graves up on the hill. They hate desecrating the dead," she said before sending Ahk back off down the stairs.

Footsteps drummed for a moment before the door swung open, revealing the Pharaoh still covered in blood. By now it had dried, leaving much of it to flake off his clothes and skin, now a muddy brown instead of the vibrant red of before.

"Have you ever slept in a grave before?"

"What?"

You had expected him to ask, considering what you heard of the conversation, but you weren't wholly convinced he would actually allow himself to sleep in a tomb.

"A long while ago, I died for a little while. Well, I guess not that long ago. Two or three years. My brother killed me," he began as he started off down the steps, taking you with him as he directed you through the streets, "and I was buried. Piye returned from their banishment shortly after and dug me out of my grave... used their gift to give me life once more."

"... you're really expecting me to believe that?" You asked, almost ready to burst out laughing.

"You saw Amun come to life. There are flowers growing out of your arms. What part of my story is unbelievable to you?"

"Right," you mumbled. "Good point. So... did you sleep in that grave or something?"

"It's complicated, but I was conscious for some time, locked underground. Not Piye's magic. Khonsu's, I believe. Either way, it's not horrid if you have someone with you," he said, patting you on the back with a smile.

"Did you have someone with you?"

His expression fell, the hand on your shoulder going with it.

"I did," he said softly, offering no more than a bittersweet twitch of his smile.

Ahk caught it before you did––the trampling of numbered footsteps, growing steadily louder the closer you came to the upcoming street. You remained within your own thoughts, plagued by questions, and mostly ignorant to the slowing of his pace. Eventually he had to grab your hand, forcing you to hide behind the shadow of a tall building. You opened your mouth to say something, but he set his hand over your mouth, staring at you with an intensity that had terrified you only a little while earlier.

"They're coming," he mouthed in your ear, breath barely passing his lips as he spoke.

Steps grew louder and he pressed himself against you, squishing you to the wall with his chin on your shoulder. Pressure tightened around your chest, constricted your breathing, hastened the beat of your heart as you relied solely on your hearing.

Stomp. Stomp. Stomp.

The clattering of armor, weapons, and shields rang through the marching steps, sending the imagery of shining, sharpened stone and arrows glinting in the moonlight.

"We need to go," he said beneath his breath.

Before you could ask what he meant, his hand encircled your wrist once more, pulling and forcing you down the other side of the alley. Chirps and squawks came from behind, making your pulse rush and swell beneath your skin. They would find you––bird brains though they were, they were still soldiers of a God, with eyes adapted for darkness. They would pull you into their hell and murder your... your Ahk.

Your Ahk.

You arrived back in your body when Ahk turned into an open, empty street, running uphill as he trained his sights on the tomb-filled mountains.

"We're not actually going to stay in a grave, are we?!" You asked as you ran, trying desperately to keep up with the long strides of the former Pharaoh.

"It is our safest bet," he said, tightening his grip on you. You still attempted to squirm out, however fruitless your struggle, and the proceeding panic had you soaked entirely in fear.

He kept you running till your legs burned, till he was fumbling over his own steps, too full of adrenaline to fully control his feet. Pebbles, rocks, and dust filled your sandals, scratching at your skin as it clung to your sweat. Your throat was still too tight to take in enough breath, leaving you part-way wheezing. Soon your own legs began to give way, scraping your knees and palms across rough dirt.

"Come, up," Ahk muttered as he helped you back to your feet, casting wary glances towards the city still ringing with the cries of falcons.

A few more minutes of scrambling up unused paths and you came to the foot of the hill, where the first graves had been set up. The long tunnels led into darkness, to a place you had never been before, where death would paint every wall. Few things in life truly terrified you––death was not among them, but the cruel afterlife of the Egyptians did. The tales you'd heard of the spells necessary to memorize, the weapons, the escorts, the protective magic one needed to have to brave what they called Duat had done that to you.

He didn't take to the first grave you saw, whose door was sealed shut from the outside with rope and wood. In fact he took you past halfway up the hills till he finally found a hole in which to hide, shoving you into the overwhelming darkness, and shutting the door partway.

All that you could hear was the trembling of your own breath, echoing in the empty, dank chamber. Despite the chilling cold the ground beneath you seemed wet, as though it had rained within the earth.

Clicking came from somewhere in front of you. Instinctively you pressed yourself against the wall, surprised to find not a cave wall but a carved granite wall. A flame burst before you as you realized this, revealing the whole of the cave, each wall covered in paintings of life and magic. Hieroglyphs lined every scene, rivalled only by the collection of yellow and white stars painted onto the lapis ceiling.

Your eyes scanned the walls around you and the ceiling, wandering down the pillars and towards the dirt floor. Across from you, Ahk leant his back against the wall, a flicker of light dancing on cloth ripped from his skirt. Now the material covered only the upper half of his thighs, leaving little to your imagination as he drew nearer to you.

"I'm afraid Nubian graves don't quite compare to the luxury of Egyptian graves," he said, setting his hand on your knee and running it up your thigh.

"When will we leave?"

"When our hunger becomes too great."

Ahk might've had good impulse control and lots of self control, but you did not.

"That'll be in days!"

"You're not very patient, are you?"

"Not when I'm stuck in a fucking tomb!"

"Screaming won't do you any favors, Amoke," he reminded you with a quirk of his brow.

Though you hardly had the consciousness of mind to recognize what he was doing, his hands had set to separating your legs, wedging himself inbetween them instead.

"I don't think the volume of my voice has anything to do with our predicament," you said scathingly, crossing your arms and turning away.

"Well, no, but you will hurt your voice. And my ears. This is a small room."

He had a point, but you were adamant in your decision to avoid his gaze. So instead you looked to the floor, your arms still crossed, and a small pout on your lip. Your eyes widened as you felt warmth on your neck, soft and somewhat wet. Ahk was kissing at your neck, one hand dangerously high on the inside of your thigh and the other squeezing your waist, in the middle of a tomb.

"What the hell are you doing?" You asked, beginning to worm in his grasp. The curt movements soon turned to struggle, your heart racing as he simply held you tighter, biting harsher at your neck.

"I could've lost you so easily today," he said softly between the ministrations of his lips.

"Amun almost kidnapped me, too, and you didn't act l –" he bit down and you gasped, "like this."

He simply chuckled and continued.

"I wanted to," he admitted after a moment. "He had no right to do anything to you. I've already lay claim."

"What?"

"You're mine. I found you first." Motions began to grow rougher, hands tightening on you as kisses became hurried and desperate. "My beautiful little toy... I won't let you go, never."

"Ahk, we're in a grave," you said, attempting to pull his hands off you.

In one swoop his hands caught yours, pinning them above your head. The weight of his body still rested between your legs, keeping them apart, and allowing him access to push and grinded himself against you. His strained breathing kept your shuffling feet company, a distraction from the heat welling in your stomach.

"Ahk..."

"You are a most beautiful sight," he murmured against your flushed skin. "Truly fit to be a god yourself."

The fear rushing through your blood was one unfortunately familiar––that same fear when you first met him. When he tied you to his bed for hours. When he stood above you with angered eyes, scanning the whole of your over-exposed body.

"This isn –"

"You told me you didn't love me... do you remember that?"

"... yes," you said, still unable to meet his eyes even as he pulled away to look you in the face.

"Then I suppose I have nothing to lose," he murmured, leaning into gift the softest of kisses, barely gracing the bow of your lip, "as all I want in this realm is your love."

"And what of your kingdom?"

"My kingdom is my duty. I do not enjoy ruling, but it is something I must do for the safety of families who now rely on a government to protect them. You, however..." he trailed off for a moment, biting into his bottom lip with a grin, "... you I enjoy very much."

A quick kiss to your lips and he resumed what he started, letting your entwined hands fall in favor of feeling you. His touch slipped up your shirt, feeling the heat of your skin until it grew too much to bear, and he began untying the knots of your clothes. Once he pulled the fabric off your shoulders, he leant back to pull his own coat off. The space gave you ample time to wriggle out of his weakened grasp, though you barely raised to your feet before he grabbed your ankle, pulling you back down and scuffing you in the process.

You turned onto your back, watching with heavy, quickened breaths as he pulled you to him till your hips met, hands and piercing eyes pinning you into place. For a split second an image flashed before your eyes––rope in his hand, silk beneath you, and a servant watching it happen. You shook your head to clear it away, opening your eyes in time to see him lay you flat on the earth.

"I love you," he murmured with a reverence so deep you could swear there were tears welling in his eyes. The hands on your hips slowly ran up your waist and over your chest, squeezing and teasing your senses. "Beautiful..."

He dipped down, like a hand of God descending from heaven to grasp the unholy that sits beneath. Kisses landed on your sternum, trailing up towards your neck, where his nipping teeth had already left dark marks. Unsure what to do with yourself, you let your hands sit above your head and allowed him to do as he pleased.

"I have waited forever to indulge in you," he said, the heat of his words beneath your jaw.

Your eyes flew open.

Haji warned you about this––or maybe it was Naguib, but he didn't seem to like you all that much. Either way, you recalled a spare bit of information given to you concerning the Pharaoh; he might've originally locked you in the castle to have his heirs. Was this what he was doing? Giving into what he'd first taken you for?

"Will you give me this?" He asked, inches away from your face, your leg kinked up upon his hip.

"What?"

"The easiest form of love," he said through a crack in his voice. From here you could clearly see what you'd spied earlier––tears. "I cannot seem to win your personal love. But I will take anything you give me, and I want this."

"... what?"

He ground his hips into yours, till you could clearly and distinctly feel something hard pressing against you. A soft groan fell from him. Part of you already knew what he meant, but another part was still stunned into stupidity, your wide eyes nothing but empty.

"I need you," he murmured.

Even with all the thoughts in your head, you couldn't manage a single word. Your mouth hung open, gasping when stimulated, but mostly silent with your own confusion. There was an appeal to Ahkmenrah––his beauty, his intelligence, his humor. Quite the array of good traits even without the fact that he held massive amounts of power, or did at one point. Yet you still couldn't let go of what you'd seen him do. It loomed over you like an eclipse, blocking your thoughts and stilling your mind in its' presence.

He didn't have the strength within him to stop himself. He would need your ardent refusal, even though he knew silence was a quiet no, to regain his control. It was a funny thing, seeing him so desperate––a man as composed as him, as aware of himself as him would be remiss to be such a shameful sight.

And it was you.

You driving a Pharaoh to his knees. You taking a man whose very essence was his control over his identity and tearing his image apart. Making him a devil in his people's eyes. You weren't even asking him to ruin himself, to take himself apart just to appeal to you even in the slightest––he was doing that himself. Willingly.

Your chest felt concave upon itself as he continued, numb to the realizations in your head. He pulled off your skirt, the ties in your clothes, till both of you were nude, him still locking your body to the ground. From this angle he could thrust against you, almost fucking your thighs as your wetness grew. Gasps and moans built in your mouth despite your efforts to keep an even expression. He delighted in your own embarrassment, laughing when you squirmed with your eyes shut tight and a hot blush on your face.

"Gods, you are... perfect," he said, devolving into a long, soft moan as the head of his cock began to prod at your entrance.

A rush of excitement––or perhaps just the simpler anticipation––ran through you, and you couldn't stop the sounds that left you as he pushed in. He stretched you, filled you perfectly, and for a moment you wondered if you had been denying yourself a taste of bliss. 

As he kissed you, bitter iron filled your mouth and painted your tongue. At first you wondered if he had bitten too hard (or if you had), but in a short time you realized it was the dried blood, still caked onto his face and body.

Blood passing between your lips. Mingling with your breaths and moans. It became hard to distract yourself with the forceful thrusts of the Pharaoh above you, your mind instead set fierce upon your sense of taste, and the watchful, hooded eyes Ahk looked down on you with.

He soon noticed your sudden daze, and his thrusts slowed down, going deep instead of fast.

"Are you alright?" He asked softly, though he didn't stop his movements entirely.

Your wetness squelched slightly, making you shut your eyes tight with embarrassment, your arms coming to hide your face from sight. Of course, Ahk was having none of that––he took your arms, carefully pinning them to either side of your head.

"A little shy, are you?"

"... this is my first time," you finally mumbled, turning away so you wouldn't have to see his reaction.

"Oh."

He stopped grinding into you. But you couldn't help yourself––you wrapped your legs around his hips, pulling him back into you and moaning when he was fully sheathed.

"Fuck," he groaned, eyes rolling up into his head. "Perfect little pet."

He pinned you to the floor as he finished, keeping you from scrambling away. There he kept you, warm on his cock, filling you with his seed as you whined helplessly.

Although he made an effort to take care of you, gently stroking your skin and kissing away what marks he made, the whole of the day left you both exhausted, and the bout of 'exercise' certainly hadn't helped. In the end you asked him to stop worrying and simply sleep at your side; he acquiesced, using his arm as a pillow as he faced you.

"Still hate me?" He asked, and though they would've been teasing words out of anyone else's mouth, you found sincerity in his expectant eyes.

"No."

[dooptown]

S2 Finale

for once i’m actually going to watch the episode again and get my thoughts down as i do cuz holy hell was this well done, i think

“Comet” playing first instead of the OP was brilliant. Also, as a note, the full music video of that came out, along with some killer animation inspired by the manga.

A detail i love about this music video is Ibuki spotting Free’s motorcycle light in the side mirror before he stops the car and, well, yeah

They actually show Louis reaching for his gun pretty early on into Ibuki’s monologue. I don’t think the manga showed that, but I could be wrong. He definitely has it pointed to him when it’s pitch black same at the anime, but the fact he reaches for it so early means he obviously knows what’s going on, even if he couldn’t pull the trigger.

predictably, the anime does the “darkness��� as it always has, with the dark-blue background and bright lines for the characters. The Comet music video does this part of the scene better imo, but it’s not too much of an issue. Free’s whole bit is obviously rushed, and I think the anime suffers for that, but i understand that they couldn’t fit it in. We do miss him escorting Louis out of the BAM though, and also saying he’ll eat Louis if he comes back. That said, I don’t know how Louis gets back...I guess Free drives him back still but we just don’t see it

The Riz and Legosi fight has Riz getting the idea of eating Legosi in his head now that was seemingly missing before. In the manga he was thinking about how he’d become friends with Legosi by eating him, and that never came up in the anime until kinda now. Like I said before it’s an interesting part of Riz’s character so i’m glad it’s touched on a bit at least.

The moth scene is just as confusing here as it was in the manga...and without explanation or confirmation that it’s imaginary chimera (a part of the manga plot that was completely dropped), it just seems like...something. We don’t have Moth-san talking to Riz here or him questioning what he’s seeing so...it could be seen as purely metaphorical but it still remains a mystery (and just like in the manga it accomplishes nothing here cuz Riz just gets up and wails on Legosi) It looks fucking cool though! Word of Power: Respect for Life! It’s all one shot here, so we see every wound inflicted on Legosi, which is only a few slams. In the manga it’s implied he endured way more. That just follows the pattern of the anime, though, where violence is toned way the hell down. I’m not complaining, though. I don’t want to see Legosi hurt...

I knew what i was seeing when it was in motion, but damn does it look fucking good! Orange really is showing how to do CG right by properly stretching models for intense movements and actions! They’ve done this subtly before but here it’s very clear, but not distractedly so (unless you pause frame by frame) However, I still do think the models look a bit stiff when just...like...walking normally sometimes. Like we have this great fight animation but then Riz picks Legosi up and drags him a bit and he looks...off. Ah well

The whole bit about Legosi exposing his stomach doesn’t have the subtleties explained here...and really the anime leaves out a lot of character thinking but i think if they left it in it’d be a bit too hammy and crowded, so it’s fine that they cut it out. But still...tell me more pose isn’t as funny here :(

Legosi’s voice acting shines again here. He sounds really fucking hurt...

The moon cut and then them laying together is nice. Also i do like how there hasn’t been music up until this point at all. Riz talking about everything is nice too...I don’t remember him saying he feels like he could cry in the manga, due to him not remembering anything about Tem but his taste.

Legosi says: “I almost went through the same thing Riz did. If someone hadn’t snapped me out of it, my love for Haru might have made me eat her.” I recall he says something similar in the manga too...but like the only time he ever got close to eating her is when he didn’t know who she was. It really doesn’t seem like the same thing at all...it ties back into Legosi really seeming to have a really firm grasp on everything, all things considered, and he’s just selling himself short. I guess he could also be talking generally but really, he never had a moment where he wanted to eat her again after that first night. And the “someone” who snapped him out of it...Zoe???? Like, I’m just a bit puzzled on this part. I think what it really is is a reference to what he says to Louis later, how he’s the one that guided him and ensured that he is the way he is. Ensured that he did so well to begin with. Like, writing it out like that makes sense, but I guess I’m taking the words too literally.

Anyway, was typing my thoughts out there. I don’t think it’s entirely clear that Louis’s influence is what caused Legosi not to eat Haru after they started spending time together, but if Legosi says that’s what it was, that’s what it was. I felt that Louis’s guidance for Legosi was more about him accepting himself as a carnivore and using his abilities for what he believes in instead of thinking he can only do harm with them...not about controlling his meat eating instincts. I guess it kinda goes hand in hand. Anyway

The hand touch is, well, touching like it was in the manga, however Riz firmly regrasping Legosi’s hand to hoist him up and continue fighting and Legosi sounding surprised isn’t what i pictured. In the manga i saw it more as Riz slowly doing it and Legosi just being too weak to do anything about it. Riz has the advantage, so he can afford to make the action slow and deliberate

Ok here’s where things get interesting. Louis’s appearance is entirely different in the anime, whereas in the manga he appears behind Riz while Legosi is talking to him, with Legosi spotting him and using a distraction to escape with him. HERE!!! Louis actively stops Riz from attacking Legosi again, clearly out of breath as he ran all the way there, but he still has the mind to appear cool and collected and make a lil quip that pisses Riz off. And then when Riz charges him Louis is just walking calmly toward him like!

Like yeah, he does stop and react a bit, but he sees Legosi coming up to stop him so I suppose that’s why he stands his ground (honestly though was he gonna pull his gun? Did he have a plan? I feel like he just got there without one, which makes sense. He just had to stop what was happening no matter what)

And Legosi ragdolls Riz aside to protect Louis. Love wins

Pina scene is the same here. Although previously we didn’t get his thoughts about how he never wanted to get involved with carnivores ever again cuz of these two, but that ties into the whole “anime doesn’t say every single thought that’s in a character’s head like in the manga” thing. I think it’s interesting that they even bother showing him retrieving his phone from the trash bin, since he could have easily just got it from his pocket but it shows that Riz was smart enough to take it away from him (but not smart enough to destroy it or chuck it somewhere or hide it where Pina couldn’t see)

The next scene with Legosi and Louis up on the outcropping..Legosi mentions how this is his last New Year’s. He’s more convinced he’s gonna die than it seems in the manga (although depends on the subs i guess) The part where Riz is looking up while Legosi is talking about their fight to Louis...i never knew if he was supposed to be hearing that or not, here or in the manga. I guess it’s up to interpretation.

Legosi delivering this line in the manga: determined, stoic

Legosi delivering this line in the anime: clearly in love

we finally get one of these scenes for Louis! Season 1 had a few of these for Legosi and Haru when they had moments where they were deep in thought about the other. I thought that Louis’s would have been in his initial meetup with Legosi in the manga, but that scene got cut. It’s cool that they put his here, though! Also correct me if I’m wrong but I think this is the only shot like this in season 2

When Louis’s theme starts here when he’s acting strong, trying not to cry, I thought it’d slowly start to break down as he did and transition into a new track but it just kinda...keeps going. It sounds like a more somber, shaky version at the very least but I think the music at this part is a bit lacking...thankfully the animation and Louis’s voice acting more than make up for it

Boy, does Louis really cry. I’m glad they let him let loose like that but the bad thing about seeing it animated is...they don’t hug! I always wanted a hug here...one that Louis fully embraces unlike the earlier one on the balcony. It makes sense the Legosi doesn’t try to do anything and is taken aback, of course, but damn...and considering how Louis is treated later and at the end of the series...it stings a lot

Idk what to say about this scene...it’s done so well. Louis having his internal monologue, talking to Legosi...Legosi looking so damn guilty that he wants to go back and fight...the transition to the foot reveal...it’s all so good

A change here in the anime...Louis is a lot more steadfast. He offers his foot and is like, completely at peace with it. In the manga he’s still shaking and his expressions are like, more unsure, but here he seems a lot more convinced that it’s what he has to do

jeez

Legosi’s thoughts about how eating his leg feels almost ritualistic and it actually makes him desire and hunger for it is gone...which like, idk why it is. We just hear Legosi say that he wants to but we don’t feel it (we do see his lips pull back and reveal his teeth tho)

Enter: Buffgosi. This happens in the manga but since Legosi’s model is so much smaller in the anime it seems like a much more drastic difference.

intimate...

Legosi doesn’t apologize for not being able to stop growling, but it seems like they did a lot to remove any humor Paru put into these scenes. I guess it doesn’t work that well in one continuous scene vs. chapters broken up by weeks

Louis’s funny deadpool moment is changed with him just...telling Legosi to be a hero again. Guess he really likes that line. The way it’s delivered really feels like a video game, like Legosi is recovering from a hit and Louis pops in to heal him with some words

Seriously, Louis just keeps making this face...after an entire season of being super serious and stone faced he’s looking softer

the Riz and Tem story isn’t changed at all, and can still be read as either romantic or platonic. Seeing it in motion makes it hit harder though, for sure

Legosi still wishes Riz a happy new year here. He seems a lot happier here than in the manga. Also Louis doesn’t berate him for it, instead opting to speak up and talk to Riz here after hearing about his heartbreak. He does it without the pressure of the cops being there, and it truly shows that he really does like carnivores and sympathizes with their struggles now.

Yeah, so the cop scene is gone, which kinda condenses and cuts out a lot (including Pina’s small appearance) but I kinda like it better. It allows all the characters to breathe. Legosi thanks Louis naturally for the meal, and Louis telling Legosi to wipe his face is done in a friendly, joking manner...it just all feels a lot softer and friendlier without the cops being there making it all fucked. Just like in real life

THERE IT IS THERE IT FUCKING IS THEY EVEN GAVE LOUIS HIS LIL SMIRK AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

god i keep tearing up around these parts IT’S BEEN ALMOST 2 HOURS SINCE I STARTED MAKING THIS POST GOOD FUCKING LORD

I kinda thought they might put the aftermath in a sort of credits scene, and i think it works, even if it does pave over some important stuff

god it’s just so validating to see Legosi care for Louis and Haru equally. Like we all know it’s the case but they’re both dear to him

Now this is a far departure from his thoughts in the manga. I suppose it only fits with the ending of the season to make it more optimistic, but we skip the while “you can’t marry an herbivore cuz of your record” thing...but here he still cherishes it in a way. Very interesting. Wonder if they’ll backpedal on it in season 3

Legosi actually tells Haru he’s dropping out here too! He still does in the manga but it seems more abrupt there, like he already did drop out and then goes to tell her instead of telling her before he does. He’s also not suffering through his meat withdrawal here like he was in the manga at this scene (or at least the manga’s counterpart at Haru’s house)

The ending convo mirrors what Haru says to him in that scene too. It’s a funny way to leave off on the season without a stinger or anything. It just kinda makes the audience question their relationship (and now that Lougosi is pumping through everyone’s veins...hehehhehehe)

uh, well, anyway, i kinda wasted all of my time off after work writing this so...i hope you enjoyed it? Not gonna get one of these for a while...i know at least some of you like them

Also...what the hell was the extra “broadcast only” scene??????

Well, anyway, I hope you all have a good day, night, whatever, wherever you are. And remember: Legosi and Louis are in love

[logically-asexual]

okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

[petersasteria]

What’s Your Plan, Genius? - Harry Holland

Pairing: Harry x Artist!Reader

Requested? Yes! By @unsaidholland​ <3

Hamilrequest #21

“What comes next? You’ve been freed.”

They’re older in this one. You’ll see. It fits the one shot I swear.

Harry and Jasmine have been together since they were 13 years old. Jasmine was Harry’s first girlfriend and she was his only girlfriend. They dated for about 10 years and the ‘magic’ faded as each year passed by.

One faithful day, Jasmine thought it was best to call it quits. Harry wasn’t surprised, but he was disappointed that they didn’t even try to fix or save their relationship. He really thought that they were each other’s endgame.

But he understood her reasons and he let her leave without hesitation. They didn’t have bad blood with each other, though. Jasmine even told him to not be a stranger if they ever bump into each other.

Harry didn’t cry when they broke up. He cried a long time ago when the ‘magic’ first started to fade. He was just really sad and he felt empty. After all, he’s been with Jasmine for a long time that he forgot to function as a single man. The last time he was single was at 12 years old. So, he couldn’t just ‘go back to the way he was before’, because last time he checked, he was still playing outside at 12 years old. Now he’s 23 and it’d be weird for him to play outside like his 12 year old self.

It had been three days since the break up and he never left the house. He was okay enough to leave his room, but not okay enough to leave the house. He’s scared to go outside, because he wouldn’t have Jasmine without him. He felt that if he went outside on his own, it wouldn’t feel right. Jasmine was his sense of familiarity. Now that she’s gone, he didn’t know what to do next. He sometimes stopped himself from calling her to ask how she’s holding up and how she’s able to do things on her own without him. He was happy for her, though.

He just wanted advice, s’all.

The Hamilton soundtrack blasted through Harrison’s speakers in the living room where everyone currently is. 

“Do you know how hard it is to lead? You’re on your own. Awesome. Wow. Do you have a clue what happens now?” Tom sang loudly as he played a game on his phone.

“Oceans rise, empires fall! It’s much harder when it’s all your call. All alone, across the sea. When your people say they hate you, don’t come crawling back to me.” Harrison continued as he scrolled through Instagram.

“Da da da dat da dat da da da da ya da da da dat dat da ya daaaaaa!” Tom and Harrison sang together. They looked at each other and chuckled, “You’re on your ooooooown.” 

“You guys are weird.” Harry said, not looking up from his phone. 

“Hamilton is art, Harry.” Harrison said. Tom nodded, “Yeah, Lin-Manuel Miranda is a genius.”

Harry playfully rolled his eyes, “Okay.”

The room fell silent for a while when Harrison broke it, “I’m going to the park to let Monty out for a bit. Who wants to tag along?”

“I will! I’ll take Tessa out.” Tom said and he looked at Harry, “Come with us, Harry.”

“Hard pass.” Harry said sharply.

“You need to go outside, Harry. You can’t stay here forever.” Harrison pointed out. “Besides, you’ll be with us.”

“Fine, but only this one time.” Harry sighed.

-

Upon arriving at the park, the three men walked the dogs. They talked about random things until Tom brought up the break up.

“So what’s your plan, genius?” Tom asked. 

“What do you mean?” Harry furrowed his eyebrows.

“You know, when will you start dating again? Will you even start dating again? I mean, I’ve seen Jasmine’s posts on Instagram and she’s out there socializing and shit.” Tom shrugged.

“You follow her on Instagram?! Since when?!” Harry asked in surprise.

“That doesn’t matter, Harry. Just answer me.” Tom said. Harry huffed, “I don’t even know how to go through the day without Jasmine helping me. How will I start dating someone else? I was 12 years old when I was last single.”

“Yikes.” Harrison chuckled.

“I don’t even know what my type is, because I never got to know other girls. Jasmine was my only girl and she was the only girl I’ve been with. I don’t have a wide range to choose from.” Harry said shyly.

“You’re lucky we’re here to help you.” Harrison said as he nodded towards an empty bench for the three of them to sit on as they let Monty and Tessa play with each other.

They sat down comfortably and they looked around. Some were jogging, having a picnic, taking photos for Instagram, but one girl stood out. She was standing up with a palette on her hand and a paintbrush on the other. In front of her was a canvas on an easel. She had paint on her clothes and some on her cheek. She didn’t seem to mind, though.

Harry stared at the artist longer than intended and Tom and Harrison took notice of this. Tom smirked and glanced at the girl before talking to Harry, “Go up to her.”

Harry snapped out of it and shook his head, “No, thank you.”

“You’ll be fine. Just start off as friends.” Harrison said.

“Jasmine and I started off as friends and where did that get us? A failed 10 year relationship.” Harry sighed in defeat. “Maybe love isn’t really for me.”

“Don’t talk like that, Harry. That’s bullshit.” Tom chuckled. “You’re 23. You’re still young to give up on love.”

“Yeah! Besides, Jasmine is different from that girl you were staring at.” Harrison added.

“Fine. I’ll talk to her so you could get off my back.” Harry shook his head and stood up.

“Thank us later when your relationship works out.” Harrison winked.

“She could be your endgame, you know. Just think about that.” Tom smiled positively at his younger brother.

Harry walked up to the girl and stood next to her. The girl felt Harry’s presence, but didn’t say anything. 

“It’s beautiful.” Harry commented. “I can’t paint for shit.”

The girl chuckled, “What do you do, then?” 

Her voice was different from Jasmine’s, but he didn’t care. He liked it.

“I, uh, I’m into photography. Although, I haven’t been taking photos recently.” Harry stammered.

“Oh, how come?” the girl frowned as she took a step back from her painting to check on it before going back to her previous spot to continue.

“My girlfriend of 10 years just broke up with me three days ago. Since then, I was too upset to do anything. This is my first time outside.” Harry chuckled bitterly at his own explanation.

“Oh, well I’m sorry for what you’re going through.” the girl turned to him and smiled. Harry looked at her and felt his heart beat quickly. If he had his camera with him, he would’ve took her picture already. It would’ve had an aesthetic vibe.

“Thanks.” Harry smiled too. “I’m Harry, by the way.”

“I’m Y/N.” she said before turning back to her painting.

Harry stayed there and talked to her for a while before it was time for him to leave with Tom and Harrison. He learned that she was at the park everyday at the same time and place, so it’d be easy to find her.

He didn’t know what happened, but for some reason, he felt at ease. He felt like his sadness was gone and was now replaced by pure bliss. Harry just met her, but for some reason, something was telling him that he indeed found the one.

All he needed to do was plan for his next move.

* * * *

idk if y’all noticed but if you look at Tom’s first line in this one shot, you’d see that it’s the continuation of the line that I used hihihi 

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @sufwubi​​​​​ @abrielleholland​​​​​ @osterfieldnholland​​​ @purplepizza-summerrain​​ @euphorichxlland​

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @marvelousell​​​​​ @justasmisunderstoodasloki​​​​​ @rubberducky-jrr​​​​​ @petersholland​​​ @osterfieldnholland​​​ @miraclesoflove​

[rigelmejo]

Found this tool for “how long to learn a language” and I think its fairly useful? 

https://autolingual.com/study-time-calculator/#hmotivation

Below is just me contemplating how long things took me, will take etc. Feel free to ignore lol.

I just tested it by putting in “absolute beginner” to low intermediate, and how long that would take for mandarin at 2 hours study per day, it gave me 1 year 10 months. That isn’t too far off of how long its taken. I’d say I’m around low intermediate - maybe upper beginner. Certainly what I consider possible at low intermediate for me personally (what I could do in french in reading, when i stopped studying it) is close to where I am now with chinese. So like: convos about basic topics, maybe a little word lookup, reading general gist of everything (and dictionary for specifics if needed), general show watching without subs (miss some details), some audio listening (for me french never got any listening or show stuff so that parts much better in chinese - though my french reading is a bit easier since i can generally get away with no dictionary even if there’s a lot of unknown words just because of word similarity to stuff i can figure out). So anyway the calculator’s estimate of 1 year 10 months is pretty close! It’s been 1 year 8 months since I started studying. It will probably be a few more months when I feel I’m happy with my ‘basic’ reading ability. 

When I put in “very high motivation” it put me at 1 year 7 months to go from absolute beginner to lower intermediate - which is super close to about how fast I progressed. I’d say I’m probably somewhere on this calculator’s estimate between “very high motivation” and “high motivation.” 

For absolute beginner to upper beginner, it put me at 10 months for how long it would take if I had “high motivation.” That also lands pretty close to how long it took me - it took me about 8-12 months to do ‘upper beginner’ stuff as I consider it (texting people in chinese for general convos, browsing weibo, reading stuff i wanted with a dictionary, reading manhua, starting to watch shows without subs and just get the bare minimum gist and look up words for more details). The calculator guessed I would take 9 months from absolute beginner to upper beginner if I had “very high motivation,” which again I suppose is close to where I was at lol. 

This calculator thinks from absolute beginner, to upper intermediate (B2) will take me 2 years 6 months if I have very high motivation, and 3 years if I have high motivation. That makes sense to me. Moderate motivation would be 3 years, 9 months. Low motivation would be 4 years 6 months. This was all at 2 hours a day of study overall. I figured it would take me 4 years roughly to get to where I wanted to be when I started  - although I figured 4 years would be “where I am right now skill wise” so lol. What will upper intermediate even look like? 

5 years, 6 months, if I have very high motivation but only 1 hour study time a day.

I also tried out if I put “have learned a language to fluency” and that lined up better with how long it actually took me to hit each milestone as I felt it? (8 months upper beginner, 1 year 4 months to hit lower intermediate?). And if this is the option I put in, then upper intermediate would be achieved around 2 years 2 months into studying (aka for me that would mean around this coming winter). Also - this would not include listening/speaking skills, for me, because I already know hands down those skills lag for me (they probably would not be whatever level my reading is, instead a bit under it). And writing would depend on how much I worked on it. So I’m mainly aiming for the reading goals timeline. 

What is interesting to me is based on this I probably have been studying roughly 2 hours a day overall? I am fairly sure I study at least 1/2 to 1 hour a day (I read almost every day in chinese if nothing else). Then some days I know I’ll watch some eps of a show (thats 2-4 hours probably), some days I’ll read a lot (2 hours?). So like I figure my days I do a lot add up? And apparently they must, since my progress seems like I’m doing about 2 hours a day according to this caclulator. Or else my study sessions are ‘really’ effective for me and 1 hour i can make as useful as 2, but i doubt it... although it could be likely, its more like ‘since i’m mainly focused on reading THAT is improving at this speed, but if i looked at ‘overall’ then i’d still be an upper beginner who studied maybe 1 hour a day (as in, taking in all skills i’d be upper beginner, but taking in only reading i’m higher). Which could definitely be the case, as i don’t think my listening is past upper beginner, and my writing/speaking is definitely upper beginner At Best (could easily also be worse lol). 

Anyway a point for myself: looks like if i vary study from 1-2 hours a day, its going to take between 9 months to 2 years to hit upper intermediate. Which is the goal - i think after that my reading will be plenty good for what I want to do without a dictionary. So 3-4 years total study time, which is about what i expected... except i expected year 4 was going to feel like what i can do now ToT so anyway. Follow your dreams! Passions! Goals! you know what i mean! ToT I did not think reading with a dictionary could be possible so quickly in chinese! Certainly not within a year, but it did happen by a year! And I’m starting to venture into reading real stuff without a dictionary more, so that’s also doable much earlier than the 4 years I expected!

---

For fun I put the other languages I ‘studied’ a bit of in the calculator. 

The suggested french timeline matched up pretty well to my own progress when I put in: very high motivation (i guess i must have that lol?), some knowledge of different languages, study 1 hour a day. I hit A2 around 6 months in, B1 around 1 year 2 months is what the calculator says (I remember it being around 1 year into studying), B2 around 1 year 10 months the calculator gives.. I think personally around B1 in french I got less motivated, and i know i stopped studying as often... and i think somewhere mid B1-B2 I quit studying and just coasted on what i knew, since it was enough to read what i wanted. So I personally remember, about 2 years into studying french, that’s when I gave up using a dictionary or formally studying at all for the most part (years 1-2 i read a grammar site in french, which helped, and was still occasionally looking up words in french and reading french weekly). So I think at 2 years i didn’t actually hit B2, just a personal point where somewhere mid B1-B2 I felt i no longer had a need of a dictionary, or grammar explanations, for what i wanted to do. I know at some point after year 2 I picked up french again and just worked on listening/pronunciation (to try and drag them up closer to my reading skill) for a couple months. Idk how much it helped, but i know it noticeably improved my accent (which went from Really Bad to Somewhat Bearable, and my listening skills went from ‘can’t understand anything’ to ‘basic words i know i can now recognize fairly easily in listening, and i can now HEAR the real bad spots in my own accent and fix them at least’). So like... I’d personally put my french as somewhere in B1 mostly comfortable, with a lot of room for improvement. With writing at A2 maybe (with grammar mistakes), speaking also around there, listening if I’m lucky also around there. I do like that if i DID want to improve my french skills to all B2, it says 8 months to 1 year (depending on if i’m starting from A2 like my speaking or B1 like my reading), studying 1 hour a day on average. That’s about what I expected - that it would take a while but not too long to push them all up to more useful. 

With japanese, putting it into the calculator? Looks like maybe I only studied 30 minutes a day on average? The calculator estimates upper beginner to take 2 years 3 months, if that’s how much per day I studied. That or 45 minutes a day - 1 year and 10 months. I know in reality, It took me about 2+ years in japanese to get to reading basic manga for main gist, playing games for very basic main gist understanding which I did sometime between 2 years and 2.5 years. I did not get past upper beginner, at BEST, because I know I was still a beginner. So maybe that’s something that held me back? Just how little time I was dedicating to japanese? I know I was splitting time between french, japanese, and sometimes russian. So that could definitely have been it (also abandoning japanese sometimes for weeks at a time - which I did with french too, but french was already like B1 reading which was close to my goals with it so i didn’t need to focus on it as much).  I also wonder how much the last study from year 2-2.5 helped speed things along - its when I noticed the most progress, and I was doing flashcards and immersing a LOT more. So its possible then I was studying closer to 2 hours a day. 

Mmm. From this calculator, I’d guess: my chinese is on track to be able to do what I want by 3-4 years (much better than I expected lol). With a chance of me being able to do it by the end of this year (that would be amazing but lets not get too hopeful). As for speaking/writing, I do expect that to still take 3-4 years (and slower if I stop studying as much). 

my french I can probably drag up the other skills, and maybe even drag reading up to B2, in about a year of work if I wanted. So the other skills I could probably drag up into B1 in several months. Aka around half a year if I wanted to just get them all similar, and probably a year if I wanted french GOOD as good as I’d probably want it for general use without issues (since i still have listening and production issues).

my japanese? i’m going to go ahead and guess 1 year for lower intermediate, 2 years for upper intermediate, IF my chinese gets good at the faster rate. aka if at the end of this year my chinese reading is where i want it, and i can switch from 30-45 minutes a day on japanese to 2 hours because chinese will no longer need to improve as fast. Since currently i’m spending an average of like 2 hours on chinese a day, and i do NOT plan to lower that until my reading and listening are where i’d like them and i can read/listen generally without a dictionary (like french, i’ll probably end up wanting to improve production randomly on an as desired basis so i don’t think that will be as big a priority unless for some reason it becomes one). So japanese will probably at most be getting 1 hour a day while i’m still focused on chinese (and realistically less like 30 minutes on average). But i might be able to give it more after this winter. although also it really depends on wtf i feel like doing? as always. if i do japanese ‘as desired’ who knows how many hours that will end up being. i do think though doing it as i want now will help make that time take less in the long run overall timeline of things. the calculator gives “2 years” to lower intermediate if i only study 45 minutes a day, and 4 years for upper intermediate in japanese if i only study 45 minutes on average a day. Which really isn’t so bad (that’d be like 4-6 years total of time i’ve spent studying it, to get where i’d like in japanese ultimately - 2 more years after the 2 i’ve already done on an optimistic timeline, and 4 more years if i go very slow and keep not being able to prioritize it... and somewhere in between there if i don’t prioritize it but at least find a sweet spot i can do what i want in it like french). 6 years to learn japanese is not surprising... especially considering it took me 2+ years to push into upper beginner “can do a little basic stuff” in the language. So 2 more ish years for each milestone step makes sense unless i get better at studying lol or dedicate more hours into it. 

---

What’s curious to me is how chinese has been taking me about 6 months to hit each milestone (for reading)? 6 to get to beginner, 12ish to get to upper beginner, 18 ish months to lower intermediate (which is april, me rn), so possibly 22 months to upper intermediate - 1 year 10 months maybe? 8 more months of study, potentially. (Again this is for reading skills only). 

I just... when I started I definitely did not thing progress could be made at this speed for chinese? But to be very fair... i spent less time on french, and i think that’s a big reason it took longer to hit milesones than it could have - and why ultimately french and chinese are much closer in terms of ‘how long it took me to make progress’ than japanese to either. Because french simply takes less study time, and chinese i just studied so much MORE per day than i did with japanese. I definitely think if nothing else that ADVICE to immerse often helped me so much. While its not as quality study time as when I go through tone drills, memorized 2000 words, read grammar, listening to my audio ‘flashcard’ files, or practice shadowing - it really MAKES me ‘study’ chinese regularly in a way i did not with french or japanese. Even though there’s less active study being done, i’m engaging with chinese every day because of it. Practicing every day, and practicing often. With french i practiced daily for maybe 1/2 hour to an hour, then for that long per week, and my active study i either did for a month or didn’t do at all - so less study time in general. In japanee i REALLY did less study time per day, since i didn’t even try to read/watch/listen to japanese - it was active study or nothing. Simply the advice to immerse... while yes it helps you with skills, like learning to comprehend what you’ve studied, more than that it simply keeps me ‘trying to learn’ on a more frequent basis.

Part of the reason I think year 2-2.5 of japanese i made the most progress i saw the fastest? I was trying to read manga every week, trying to play a game every couple weeks, listening to audio in the background every few days (audio flashcards), trying to do srs flashcards every few days. The last 2 activities were active study increases (though only 30-45 minutes a day overall so no more than usual). but the manga days - that would be a full extra 1-2 hours a day! The video game days, 2-4 extra hours that day! and those added up i think! and resulted in me seeing much faster progress than in the whole 0-2 first years combined. if only i’d been trying to do those things sooner, it could’ve been adding up sooner.

whenever i look back on my french, the period that helped most was month 3 to the year 1 mark - i was reading every few days. Yes, I also studied common words, took a beginner class and did my homework. But the reading regularly was time spent using french ADDING UP. It added up to a lot of extra time IN french, and i think that’s why about a year in i felt pretty comfy texting on basic topics, reading things i wanted to with a dictionary with ease. Then the year after, i did more intensive study, but with months in between where i did NOTHING in french - so i think i got to B1 with reading, or somewhere a bit past it, because i read french every few months for bursts (whenever i felt like it but not regularly). And instead of progress every few months, it took about another year to go ‘ok no more dictionary needed.’ If i’d still been engaging with french more days a week, i think it would’ve added up faster.

And when i started chinese, the big reason i TRIED ‘do a little something’ weekly in chinese is because i remembered in french i used to try, and that helped me so much at the beginning. and it DID help me so much at the beginning with chinese! it was a solid idea!

and, as much as i have some issues with aspects of massive immersion approach (now Refold), mainly just that i don’t do it all the same lol. i DO think i am SO happy i found it if ONLY for the advice it gave “immerse as much as possible, as little as you comprehend, start NOW.” That was good fucking advice. And it helped me not be such a chicken - i know i was scared, back when learning japanese, TO immerse at all because i thought i needed the basics understood before i even tried. With chinese - although i was trying reading (and it was honestly helping), i only tried once a month. And i was way too scared to try shows without english subs, or AUDIO. 

Reading the mia advice, i went fuck it, and tried. it helped SO much. Literally, watching shows in chinese first to build up the endurance to SIT through a whole episode, then to watch multiple episodes in months 4-8, helped SO much. and i was way too scared to try until i’d read someone else tried and it helped. also people who did mia suggested audiobooks and dramas - again i was way too cowardly, thinking i’d know too little to manage it. And YET, once i started doing it more i noticed a lot of improvement! I know right now, i can watch shows and be comfortable because i made myself try it back then and keep trying. i know i was able to push into reading with a dictionary at month 6-8 because from month 3 i was trying and kept trying. i know i can listen to some audio dramas FOR FUN and even pick up some stuff, because i tried to listen to audiobooks of chapters i’d read in english and practiced parsing sound. (also Listening Reading helped a ton i can’t say that enough - it helps so much with listening skills). Trying to watch shows without ANY subs including chinese, also helped. And it really was the advice “try doing it all, and doing it often, it will help” that helped me improve. I cannot get myself to do formal study every day - and if i can, some days i can only do 15 minutes to 1 hour (and occasionally longer). but i CAN make myself do SOMETHING in chinese every day. And me being so lazy? It is in fact EASY for me to make myself do something in chinese if it doesn’t have to be study - reading a book? I’ll try. If i have it open in pleco, i’ll try and click words i don’t know. If its audio - yeah i’ll try listening while i walk or work. if its a show i wanna watch, yeah i’ll try watching even though there’s no english subs. if i see a manhua i like, yeah i’ll try to read it. if im on weibo, yeah i’ll browse. it is such a compatible way for me to DO more stuff in chinese, which helps me improve even if its not always as effective as study-time sessions. its always better than doing nothing, and wow does it make a difference how often i ‘study chinese’ if these moments of immersion count. 

and i’ve been noticing already, how it helps in japanese too, now that i’m freaking applying the concept of “don’t be a chicken” lol. I’ve watched lets plays the past few months in japanese (yeah only 20 minutes at a time, but it will add up as i’ve learned from french and chinese). I tried playing games for 2 hours (brutal, but manageable, and who knows how much i learned in that time!). I watched a 2 hour play with no subtitles of any kind (again who knows how much i learned trying that!). I even tried reading a bit of japanese - a few 15 minute sessions probably. Again, this is all not a lot, but its like french - its MORE than just my dedicated japanese study time where i do flashcards or read my grammar books. its extra time spent, and i know it adds up. i am Already seeing it add up to making games even bearable to do (which took 2+ years last time!), to making WATCHING something with only japanese audio bearable to do (extremely hard, but bearable if i know the plot, which is a fucking FEAT i did not imagine i’d be able to do). it is adding up to making trying reading bearable to do with a dictionary. It is all these things that took 2 years to become bearable last time, made doable much sooner (if only to tolerate for now, but eventually to improve). the hours spent just trying to do things in the language DO add up. 

so anyway advice for my future self is just: DO it. do stuff in the language now. i know you want to be prepared, but just start trying now and with anything you’re interested in even if you think its ‘too hard.’ it WILL add up and help you. 

[geejaysmith]

Kat and I have amazing conversations sometimes and I felt they had to be shared. Also, alienfuckers, dad jokes, Maxwell’s alternative lifestyle and other headcanons, and Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition. Full transcript under the cut.

Gill [Yesterday at 6:05 PM]: On an Unrelated topic: after the finale the crew remembers "OH YEAH, EIFFEL ACTUALLY HAD A FACE-TO-FACE CONVERSATION WITH ALIENS" and now in addition to all the other reasons to want him to Remember they're really freakin' curious to know how that went

Kat [Yesterday at 6:11 PM]: Minkowski: so what did they look like Eiffel: me (They do seem to like his body, they had a few models to choose from when talking to Cutter.)

Gill [Yesterday at 6:13 PM]: Eiffel, probably: at least the aliens think I'm cool I know what was meant by that but your phrasing made me think "In a shocking turn of events, it is the aliens who are attracted to the human." The aliens... are alienfuckers

Kat [Yesterday at 6:17 PM]: I don't think that's their jam but that WOULD be just his luck

Gill [Yesterday at 6:18 PM]: It is unlikely, but also: it would be hilarious

Kat [Yesterday at 6:21 PM]: the aliens keep sending me mental sexts and i crave death

Gill [Yesterday at 6:22 PM]: And lo another shitpost transforms into a fanfic concept, like a humble irradiated lizard becoming Godzilla: "would you fuck your clone?"

Kat [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: leave him alone has the man not suffered enough

Gill [Yesterday at 6:28 PM]: No

Kat [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: sigh

Gill [Yesterday at 6:29 PM]: Dance for my amusement, Douglas And also because I earnestly suspect that in the case of Eiffel and an interested alien-consciousness-in-the-form-of-a-Xerox-copy-of-him the answer would end up being "yes"

Kat [Yesterday at 6:34 PM]: idk i feel like it'd be more like "Oh what you spend two fucking years trying to drag us into the star because you can't be assed to make an appearance but you'll teleport across the galaxy for a booty call? Fuck you and I mean that figuratively" later sluts

Gill [Yesterday at 6:36 PM]: Bob is a bad datemate Is this entire train of thought brought on by the fact I still think of the person who expressed they shipped Bob/Eiffel in the tags of the "Take your double to Disneyland" post? Perhaps

Kat [Yesterday at 6:39 PM]: i don't know that you can have this at the same time as 'what if the aliens' bodies are still the people suppressed' without it getting Fucked Up but that's your perogative I guess as long as I don't have to hear about it family can't walk w me tonight so i need to hit the treadmill for a bit. ttyl

Gill [Yesterday at 6:41 PM]: See u in a bit! But ah yes, I hadn't thought of that til you brought it up Points at one explanation of Dear Listener manifestations for some ideas, points at a different explanation for ideas that would become unintentionally Pretty Fucked Up under the first explanation Although there is comedy potential to be found in Eiffel and Eiffel-2 having the "are we down with this" conversation In the /Justin McElroy voice, "someone just discovered they have ~the world's worst fetish~" sense

Kat [Yesterday at 7:33 PM]: a different terrible concept: eiffel with his pop culture references restored will likely be called upon to testify at the united nations

Gill [Yesterday at 7:37 PM]: O h  g o d Ace Attorney: Doug Eiffel edition

Kat [Yesterday at 7:46 PM]: i mean they're gonna have to tell the world SOMEHOW and i'd think the international court would want to know and he's the one with the subconscious recall implanted sidenote if the DL can do that mental transfer could they have just... asked them to reupload whatever their most recent scan of eiffel was there are so many ways around this that's why it failed to get much of an emotional rxn from me

Gill [Yesterday at 7:47 PM]: Minkowski and Lovelace trying to get him to practice his testimony bc if they hit enough subconscious recall triggers they can at LEAST get thru an explanation of the aliens without Eiffel going off into a tangent Once they're off the Dear Listeners' script though all bets are off

Kat [Yesterday at 7:48 PM]: here's a list of preplanned questions your honor we're not responsible if you ask anything else

Gill [Yesterday at 7:51 PM]: Eiffel, maybe: now Goddard didn't send up us there to bring home any xenomorphs but let me tell you, with the Decima project? They might as WELL have let a facehugger get up close and personal with me The translators rapidly swapping notes on late 70's sci-of cinema because a handful of them actually know what he's talking about

Kat [Yesterday at 7:54 PM]: Minkowski headdesking behind him Eiffel English isn't most of these people's first languages

Gill [Yesterday at 7:57 PM]: The news cameras are all dead-focused on Eiffel. He's hit his stride and is picking up steam. "And it was right around the time I was coughing up my liquefied respiratory system that I thought to myself, gee, I'd MUCH rather get a face of alien wing-wong than deal with this!" Minkowski is off to the side. She is visibly restraining herself. No poker face in the world can hide how hard she is longing for death. Whether it is hers or Eiffel's is a subject of contentious debate.

Kat [Yesterday at 7:58 PM]: someone at an elementary school: hey Garcia, is that your dad

Gill [Yesterday at 8:01 PM]: Anne, who was four the last time she saw her father in person, gets one look at the man weaving an intricate Star Wars metaphor out of crimes against humanity and recognizes him instantly, but signs back "I have never seen this guy before in my life."

Kat [Yesterday at 8:04 PM]: good call kiddo

============

Gill [Yesterday at 8:10 PM]: Honestly I love the concept that no matter how much Eiffel may drive them up the wall sometimes the rest of the crew would meet Anne and immediately be ready to kill a man for her sake

Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: as far as we know he's the only crewmember with kids women in the military... it wouldn't be easy even if you wanted one, which idk if any of them did

Gill [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: Wait wait, brainwave: it is actually AMAZING that Minkowski had no idea Eiffel had a child because... does he seem like the kind of guy. Who would ever resist a Dad Joke.

Kat [Yesterday at 8:15 PM]: haha fair

Gill [Yesterday at 8:16 PM]: Eiffel: Actually, I have amazing self-restraint when I choose to exercise it. (Various noises of disbelief.) Eiffel: have you ever heard me tell a dad joke? No? I rest my case

Kat [Yesterday at 8:21 PM]: biggest plot hole of the series more like it was too painful a memory but still

Gill [Yesterday at 8:22 PM]: If he ever patches that connection it'll open the floodgates

Kat [Yesterday at 8:26 PM]: He'll become the Maes Hughes of the gang, except with fewer war crimes

Gill [Yesterday at 8:27 PM]: ...has anyone on this crew done war crimes? SI-5 excepted of course, they have obviously done war crimes

Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: yeah SI5 is war crime central I'm not sure about some of the other stuff executing a prisoner? idk about Minkowski

Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Also my thought

Kat [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: she wasn't a formal pow though it was an ongoing engagement I don't know the rules

Gill [Yesterday at 8:32 PM]: Minkowski Has Done One (1) War Crime (Goddard Futuristics attempts to bring that against her in the court case only for Maxwell to stroll in like lol what's up gang)

Kat [Yesterday at 8:37 PM]: does Goddard in its current incarnation last long enough to sue anyone i mean i think you could sue them for attempted genocide

Gill [Yesterday at 8:38 PM]: Look I have had one semester of business law You were the one who almost went to law school Also re: other characters being parents, the only one I could see going kiiiinda either way on the subject is Lovelace and it wouldn't have been terribly high on her priority list prior to the Hephaestus mission I can see characters having the opinion that they could see Minkowski as a mom but she and her husband both strike me as understanding themselves and one another as being more career-oriented

Kat [Yesterday at 8:44 PM]: yeah if she wanted to rise in the ranks of the military... that would probably be a strike against her

Gill [Yesterday at 8:44 PM] And the implication she's got a Complex about her parents having both left promising careers to raise her Also, Lovelace: Well I always said I could see myself settling down someday, maybe have a family if I met the right person, but when I took the job with Goddard it was legally dubious whether I could actually do that- Eiffel: Because you're an alien? Eiffel: Eiffel: ...wait a sec

Kat [Yesterday at 8:54 PM]: ha It's ok to be gay in space

Gill [Yesterday at 8:56 PM]: Alternatively it's Hera who said that bc didn't connect those dots right away, meanwhile Eiffel saw Lovelace in a flannel shirt once and Knew Immediately Eiffel may be dumb but somehow his Bi-Fi has yet to fail him

Kat [Yesterday at 8:59 PM]: Hera doesn't grasp  human sexuality nuances

Gill [Yesterday at 9:01 PM]: Funny addition to above thought: Eiffel put together that Jacobi was gay after like three days on the Urania, was the only one on the Hephaestus crew to do so, and just never felt it was relevant to bring up Hera, my child... you have much to learn (Also, Hera, probably: I'm experimenting at the moment, I'm looking for a torrent so I can download lesbianism)

Kat [Yesterday at 9:04 PM]: I don't know which option is funnier, that Jacobi is just Really Fucking Obvious but Eiffel was the only one paying attention or that it was super subtle and everyone's like How Did You Do That lovelace's righteous fury overwhelmed her gaydar, she was too mad to go 'same hat'

Gill [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Eiffel: I have something to confess to all of you... Jacobi: Eiffel literally not a single person on this ship is straight Eiffel: Oh I was just going to recount a PG version of my wild younger days, let's just say I know a thing or two because I've seen a thing or two.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:07 PM]: Jacobi on Earth: Just matched with myself on Grinder a-fucking-GAIN

Gill [Yesterday at 9:10 PM]: Jacobi: Oh I definitely picked up on it but who wants to go playing into stereotypes by speculating on what may or may not be a promiscuous history? Eiffel: Promiscuous? Look I've got notches in my belt but mostly I just ended up laying in somebody's bathtub at a house party while just conscious enough to nod along to someone else's relationship drama. Eiffel: to several sororities, I was the Gay Bathtub Wizard.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:11 PM]: Maxwell on day one of orientation: So if SI5 is paramilitary what's their stance on alternative lifestyles? Jacobi: I was recruited in a gay bar.

Gill [Yesterday at 9:12 PM]: Her asking the question has my brain going in several different directions

Kat [Yesterday at 9:13 PM]: I think she was recruited right after dadt was repealed... if obama exists in this universe fantasy obama

Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: One part of my brain: Maxwell is also gay Another part of my brain: Maxwell is exclusively attracted to nonhuman persons Yet another part of my brain, most adjacent to number #2: Maxwell voice, who in their right mind would build a robot that can't fuck? The 4th part of my brain: Maxwell wants to know how chill they'll be with her living exclusively off energy drinks and frozen yogurt for weeks at a time

Kat [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: honestly I figured whatever it was it was MUCH weirder than just being gay

Gill [Yesterday at 9:15 PM]: Maxwell: I have plans to take over the world with my army of battle bots and rule as their robot queen.

Kat [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Maxwell: wait if you were recruited in a gay bar does that mean our boss frequents those or did he just go there to get you Jacobi: Believe me the question haunts me also Jacobi: sounds great i'm in

Gill [Yesterday at 9:16 PM]: Or, Maxwell: I am not joking for an instant when I say that I for one welcome our alien overlords "When I was 13 I tried to get myself abducted by aliens" except it's not a joke it's an actual minor headcanon of mine Also I almost typed "adopted" rather than "abducted" which shows you why Alana would probably want to do that

Kat [Yesterday at 9:19 PM]: she did say she's on bad terms with her family

Gill [Yesterday at 9:20 PM]: She grew up a pastor's kid in a tiny rural town in Montana, hearing that they don't get along is the furthest thing from a surprise to me. The surprise is that Maxwell has a restraining order against them

Kat [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: tht implies the court found reasonable cause to issue one wack anyway i had a long day, i'm gonna call it a night

Gill [Yesterday at 9:21 PM]: o/ But yeah that Maxwell empathizes with nonhumans, apparently more than with most regular humans, that makes perfect sense to me I can see her frustration with the AI Ethics board in her last job Expressing Their Concerns and her suppressing flashbacks to many a Creationist rant, and trying to keep her eye from twitching visibly, and no I am not projecting I am just coloring in blank spaces in the narrative with my relevant life experience

[an-avid-reader]

Legend (#1) - Marie Lu

my rating: 4/5 stars

In a world where the Patriots/Colonies and the Republic are at odds and there’s a plague in the poorer parts of the US, Day is an unstoppable street criminal with good intentions. When his family’s house gets marked by Republic soldiers, Day’s only thought is to steal a cure before his family member dies. June is a top student at Drake University—a prodigy. When her brother, Metias, gets caught in a cross-fire during a mission, June is fast-tracked to becoming a soldier. Her first mission: track down Day. As Day and June come from such opposite backgrounds, is it possible that their paths would’ve crossed otherwise? 

Link to Goodreads // Spoiler-free review below

It felt so weird to switch this book from “to-read” to “reading” and now to “read” on Goodreads—this was the first book I placed on my virtual tbr and now, 6 years later I’ve read Legend! Honestly, I didn’t know much about this story going in, besides the fact that it’s a dystopian trilogy...and that, after reading a bunch of those stories, I was skeptical going into this book however I was still really excited to pick it up and I’m glad that I did! 

Legend alternates between Day and June’s perspectives and we get to see how drastically their lives are; when their worlds collide it was super fascinating, even though they put A LOT of trust from nowhere into each other. I sort of wish we got a few chapters from other characters, such as Commander Jameson, Thomas, and Tess, but of course without ruining the story. The other reason I didn’t give a full 5/5 was because I was able to guess bits of the twist pretty early on, albeit I wasn’t sure how it was going to pan out until we came to that part of the story. (We also gotta leave some room for improvement for the subsequent books!)

So the main premise of the story is that there is a war between the Colonies/Republic and the Patriots. To be completely honest, I still can’t really explain why this war occurred, nor what either’s agenda is (except for maybe power, but in terms of politics I’m ???). One reason why I wish we got more POVs is to explore this issue a bit more, and what their motivation is—if two Patriots were in the same room, would there be a way for them to connect with each other (assuming that this is a large society), for example. There were some details that were slowly brought out, such as the coin found by Day’s father (which is incorporated into a very clever manner). To be completely honest, the one thing I took away from the political scene is how cult-like the US in this book (but also irl—I’ve never seen another country where pretty much everyone has their country’s flag on their front lawn or uhhh worship? their flag).

The other minor but also major detail is the virus (or the plague, but it has to be treated with a vaccine, therefore it’s a virus). We know that there’s a plague, and of course, the poorer parts of the rEpBuLiC, such as Day’s neighbourhood, are affected heavily, but that’s pretty much the extent that we know. I wonder if Legend was written/published today (or next year, let’s say), would the plague be different—would people be wearing masks, for instance?  What are the symptoms of the plague (I think there was some coughing and fever)—how do you know for sure it’s the plague and not a common cold or the chicken pox, for example o.O I definitely felt like I was over analyzing details at times because I was able to pick up on Lu’s foreshadowing pretty early on. 

Brief comment on Lu’s foreshadowing—she is clever in the sense that sometimes the details are right in your face, but you don’t realize it until a significant event happens. Sometimes it’s a really important part of the story, other times it’s just a subtle detail, like the coin. You can tell that Lu most likely planned Legend meticulously, and I’m sure that the next two books are crafted with this precise manner. I’m sure this is the type of book that when you reread it, you can pick out all the details that were planted along the way (or maybe I’m over analyzing again).

Something else that I appreciated in this book is that, although this is dystopian, it doesn’t feel like those typical dystopian tropes are there, if that makes sense. Yes, there’s a romance (and maybe a tad of insta love), but it’s not the driving factor of the plot. And there’s no love triangle (*throws confetti*). Besides the war and thus, the division of the population, the most obvious dystopian feature is the Trial—this is when you turn 10, you must take a test (physical, mental, and an interview). Based on your score, you either get placed into highschool, university, or you’re sent to labour camps if you fail. Honestly, as messed up as the Trial is, it’s almost like a reality today. I feel like people who are just entering middle school are already set on studying medicine or law, when at that age, you should be idk enjoying life and maybe start putting effort into what you enjoy, not choosing a career. Anyways, those are my 2 cents. 

Although Legend is written from our two main characters, I love how different their dynamic was, which made the story much more interesting. From Day’s point of view, I liked that we got to see the pain he feels for his family. I also appreciated Day’s relationship with Tess, who I feel like they’re more like brother and sister (and I’m glad there isn’t a love triangle...at this point of the trilogy anyways). While Day is a criminal, he’s such a softie when it comes to the people he cares about, whereas when he’s on a ‘mission’ he’s very sly. From June’s point of view, we are introduced to Thomas (which I thought he was like a butler but oop that’s not right), Metias (her brother), and Ollie (their doggo (yes?)). At first, it seems that June is like this kick ass girl, who is super young (ish, she’s 16) and she’s a trouble-maker, but I feel like her peers respect her. One thing I noticed is that June is such a compassionate person—I’m not sure how to explain it, but she’s more “human” than Commander Jameson, for example. Her element of humanity and being able to analyze a situation/emotions within a few minutes, it was super impressive—I feel like she makes working for the Republic very easy. We only get a few glimpses of her and Metias together, but what we see is so wholesome—you can tell that Metias is scared/deeply cares for his younger sister. And there’s Thomas...from the gecko he gave me weird vibes but man he is such an icky man. Also, seeing as June is a prodigy, it’s almost like her uh ‘bosses’ (?) treat her as a prized possession, which 100% made me feel like (more on that in the spoiler section below). For once, I didn’t really mind the insta love between June and Day, though whilst I was reading the book, I was a bit frustrated because I could see exactly where the story was going (I see you, Lu, I see you).

Finally, I appreciate that Lu’s characters are people of colour, specifically Asian/asian-mixed. I obviously can’t speak on her behalf, but I’m glad that she didn’t conform to the “norm” or “default” as she is Asian-american herself. Furthermore, I think it gives younger people the encouragement that yes, you can be an author, you don’t need to be a heterosexual, cis, white male. (I’m sorry for the crappy explanation, I guess what kinda sucks is that she had to explicitly mention it in the book). ANYWAYS moving on, I appreciated this book, though I didn’t really know what to expect from it. To be completely honest, I was also scared to read it because it had been on my TBR since 2014 (oops), but I think that in the end, it’s good thing I waited to start this trilogy; I think that otherwise, this would’ve been same-old-same-old vibes to other dystopian books/trilogies I’ve read in the past. I’m excited to see where the trilogy takes us and I’m excited to see how Lu will further develop our main characters, as well as see how her writing style changes over time!

If you’ve read this book, I’d love to know what your thoughts are, did you like this book or not? (and if you’ve read the other two books, did you find that overall, the series gets better/what book is your favourite from this series?).

Thank you for reading my review, I hope you are having a legendary day (sorry, I had to), wherever you are in the world!

~ Cassandra / an-avid-reader

-

I’ve decided to include a spoiler section of my reviews; continue reading for some spoiler-y content (you have been warned)

SPOILER SECTION BELOW

While I could see it coming that June was going to betray Day, she felt so bad when she called the cops on his family. Again, this goes back to the humanity thing. The fact that she actually listened to Day (and I guess respected him?) as opposed to merely judging him for “failing” his Trial and being poor is commendable. To be honest, I’d like to think that they had mutual respect for each other, Day has his reputation, and June unexpectedly kicked Kaede’s butt in the ring. I feel like there’s so much to uncover, there’s something so fishy with their government, and I think we’re just at the tip of the iceberg. It makes me think of what other contraband exists, besides the pendent/coin. Also, side note, isn’t one presidential term = 4 years, and the Elector has been the leader/uh President for 11 terms? I don’t remember it being mentioned, but I feel like the next Elector would be his son, sort of like a dictatorship…

Speaking of the fight scene, I’m honestly surprised that June didn’t put the pieces together. When she met Day for the first time (for the cure deal), she noted his dialect/the fact that he used the cousin. We’re not told how many other people use the same slang, nor do we encounter another character (such as the older man who helped Tess and Day early on in the story), using that slang. Thus, when Day said cousin in front of June, I’m surprised that she didn’t question whether that was Day or not. Then again, I feel like she needed more hints to corroborate her hypothesis—I’m just surprised that it didn’t even cross her mind, I guess. 

June = prized possession? Aka Thomas kissing her *vomits* I assumed that Thomas was an older guy, again, like he was her butler/guardian because her parents are dead. (LIGHTBULB MOMENT - we know that the Republic just kills people, so is it possible that Day’s father is still alive? We know for sure his mom is dead because she got shot in the head by none other than T h o m a s, but maybe there’s a chance that Day’s father was still alive). I feel like June was just even more ruplused when she found out that Thomas was actually the killer of her brother; I wonder if that’s what made him so “cold”, as June referred to later on in the story. Was he brainwashed or something? Commander Jameson gives me these weird vibes, like she has a bigger role in this story, but we don’t know yet. And then during the ceremony after June caught Day, there was Chian, Metias’ mentor (most likely also a snake) who was kinda hitting on her, and then there was the Elector’s son! I’m just speechless, can these people not force themselves onto June?? If she didn’t meet Day, would she fall for one of them, or would she just live her best life (part of me hopes for the latter, all those guys are creeps).

I also find it convenient that June knew exactly what to do with the computer/with Metias’ message? Albeit, she is clever (when her judgement isn’t clouded lmao). I knew that the letters were going to be a scramble, but I would’ve never thought it would lead to a website. Also, how was Metias sure that June would read through his stuff? If he were still alive, would he have told June about what he found (ever)? And how did he get wrapped up in all of this? So many questions!! Anyways, I guess that the two of them had a similar way of going about things/thinking similar enough so that they could find clues like that without raising too much suspicion (even though June did end up getting caught towards the end). 

One of the ways that Lu was able to sneak in some foreshadowing is when we’re in Day’s POV and we learn about his older brother, John. I remember that there was something along the lines of “oh we look so similar, it would be easy to mistake one for the other” and that sort of raised suspicion for me, which was confirmed when John sacrificed himself to let June and Day (and the others) escape. I didn’t catch that Day’s pendant was a coin, however, that was really clever. I wouldn’t say that being able to spot these things early on made me dislike the book, but it did take away the element of surprise. 

Onto book #2!

[praphit]

IT Chapter 2: maybe he’s simply stupid

Party People! That killer clown... is BACK!

No, not that killer clown (although one could argue Ronald's body count is vastly higher).

THAT clown!

Good ol Pennywise.

The last time that we saw Pennywise he had just gotten his ass beat by a bunch of kids. Not a good look for any certified tough person; especially if it's a tough person who's supposed to be a villain!

He can't show his face around the villain bars or parties no more - he's a laughing stock! It wasn't just any group of kids he was defeated by, it was a group of kids who embrace the fact that they're losers ("The Losers Club"). That's pretty bad when a group of people accept their deprecatory labels to the point that they form not a support group, but a social club. Imagine if you were made fun of for having stinky feet, and you decided to join "The Stanky Feet Club". That's the level of debasement we're talking about. Pennywise got beat up by self-proclaimed losers.

You can't be considered a villain or a monster if you go down like that. You can't call the Justice League for Pennywise; they ain't coming! They MIGHT send Robin, MAYBE. I'm not sure the cops would even waste their time. I think that if they got a call about Pennywise, they'd just see if they could gather a gang of kids from a nearby middle school to oppose him.

Pennywise had to redeem himself.

So, in Chapter 2 - TWENTY SEVEN YEARS LATER, he decides to go after those same loser kids as adults. 27 years! Seems like a long time to plot one's revenge - you know, maybe he's simply stupid.

Yes, a long time, but here we are. He starts off his scheme for revenge on the Losers Club by eating gay people.

Yep.

Now, I'm not saying that Pennywise is homophobic or anything (the town he's in called Derry def is tho - my goodness!), but maybe you don't START your plan of evil with the LGBTQ community. You know?? - not a good look. I'm sure Thanos, when he's out there snapping away worlds, had a PR person whispering in his ear.

"Look, Thanny baby! You know I love ya! But, let's be sure (on this tour of destruction) NOT to hit up the minority planets first; don't worry we'll get to them. But, let's snap away a couple of predominantly white planets in the beginning."

It's bad for approval rating. I mean, the white supremacists ratings would hit an all time high, but... no one REALLY wants that look.

But, Pennywise stamps down possible homophobia on his resume, and grabs the attention of... the Old Spice guy. Or known in this universe as MIKE.

His Old Spice days are over! He's going for the neighborhood crazy guy look now.

Mike is the token black dude in The Losers Club. Mike has been living in an attic for 27 years ever since "the losers" made a promise that if Pennywise ever came back, they'd all come back too, to stop him for good.

Mike gives all of the losers a call one by one to convince them to come back and honor their promise.

People let me just say, if you're traumatized in a certain area, the normal thing to do is to leave that area and never go back.

I remember, back when I was in middle school, seeing one of my teachers outside of school at a market (weird in an of itself). But, it was raining hard, and her makeup was running big time. Now, people, I did not realize at the time the powers of makeup. I knew it could enhance one's appearance. I did not know it could give one a whole new face. This rainy day I saw my teacher's face melt off as she was walking towards me in the market to say "hello" Freaked me the bleep out!  People I’m sorry, but I’m just telling you my truth from the perspective of a child at the time.

It was like - with makeup she looked like Halle Berry

And as the makeup washed off - she looked like Morgan Freeman

I don't think y'all understand.

With makeup - 

 (well, not QUITE like that, but pretty much. I didn't do well in that class. I was distracted for some reason.)

Without makeup - 

That drastic!

I ran away from that monster (or woman, I guess - people, I'm just saying that I can't PROVE she's NOT a "monster" who ripped off her face). Point is I have no interest of going to that part of town ever again. Trauma runs deep.

These losers now adults have sweet lives (well, most of them). Why go back to face a killer clown?

BUT, Mike does his thing and they all band back together!

Like the Avengers:

They have a The leader - James McAvoy The jokester - Bill Hader The tall, sexy guy - though he used to be the fat kid

 (see that - bullying has it's uses. He’s getting all of the money and women now! Had he not been bullied he may have be destroyed by that other clown).

The hypochondriac (there's one on ever super team right?)

The scared of everything guy (... well, they are "the losers")

The sexy chick - Jessica Chastain

And the black dude - Mr. Spice

BOOM! BACK!

They track down Pennywise - he's out there doing his thing: eating kids and gay people... and shapeshifting into old ladies (like seen in the trailer).

He might have to stamp down "pervert" on his resume as well. Cuz not only is he shapeshifting into old ladies, but he's getting naked before chasing people too. This is some plan he's executing!

Pennywise's powers are amped up in this chapter, though maybe too much. Annnnnnd here's where the big flaws begin for me. I know, party people... I was looking forward to this movie too I loved chapter one), but...

Big Flaw #1 - Unexplained rules

I'm not sure of the rules of Pennywise's powers. I can't tell what's real or not, due to all of the hallucinations and whether or not people can be hurt in the sitches - I don't feel like it's consistent. There are plenty of times when he has his prey, and they slip through his fingers somehow. Why does he keep letting them escape? Or are his powers not as great as advertised? If it's all in their heads, are they ever in any real danger? Idk. Look, with Jigsaw, we didn't need an explanation for how an senior citizen riddled with cancer is making all of these elaborate traps, purchasing materials for these traps, and cleaning up the horrifyingly bloody evidence again and again. 

BUT, we knew what Jigsaw was all about. We knew the extent of his "powers" - that's all I'm saying! Plus, Pennywise sets someone free to go after The Losers (which the plot def did not need), but how that whole thing plays out (concerning Pennywise's abilities) makes no sense.

Big Flaw #2 - bad storytelling

Pennywise's origin is kinda explained in this chapter. I say "kinda" cuz we as the audience experience the telling of that story vicariously through someone on some type of acid trip. Like any good drug trip, who the hell knows what was going on?? So, they screwed up the origin, they never explain his powers well enough, the whole thing with The Losers coming back and listening to crazy ass Mike (who's been tripping on acid and living in an attic for 27 years) as he leads them in a quest to kill the clown MAKES NO SENSE. I'm not even going to get into said "quest" - also makes no sense. And then the ending... wow, stupifying.

Big Flaw #3 - CGI

It's not that it's bad, it just isn't scary. It's the opposite of scary. It's down right goofy at times. Like a spook house created for the whole family. Perfect example is in the triler I mentioned, when Jessica Chastain is being chased by the naked old lady. The way that they do the cg there... If I were Jessica Chastain in that moment, I wouldn't have been scared. I would have been like "Really dude? *heavy sigh* Pennywise, can we talk about what's going on with you? And why the bleep are you naked anyway?! You know they're gonna stamp "pervert" on your resume. None of this is scary. And you're just going to let me escape! You big dummy!"

Seriously, maybe he's simply stupid.

I mean look at him.

Maybe that's scary, because that's the face he makes before he eats you, but it's also the drooling face I've seen people make when met with basic math problems.

It's not all bad! The acting is really good! And I was never bored in this 3 hour long movie (which is impressive), but all of those flaws equal a GRADE ----  D

Poor Pennywise.... what will his legacy be? Pervert, homophobe, possibly plain stupid person, who chose to dress like a clown. Got his ass beat by a group of kids... THEN that same group of kids come back as adults and beat his ass again. And the way he's defeated... it's so humiliating (and confusing - let's not forget the poor writing), but yikes... No "monster" to my memory has ever been defeated in such a way; I actually felt bad for him.

They had better not make a Chapter 3.

At the end of the movie, crazy ass Mike is packing his bag and about to leave the attic. I was thinking to myself "That dude is unstable." Wherever he's going, he's going to engage in some crazy behavior.They COULD make another chapter out of THAT. Mike starts dressing up like a clown and eating kids. Make that movie!

But, no more Pennywise please! He set scary clowns back ten years with this movie.

[thecrazyanimegirl]

Fall Anime ‘18

We ended up watching a little less this season, we had to drop some because we just had no time, but it was a good season ^^ finally the golden kamuy second season and even space battleship tiramisu! 

Since we often have similar opinions about the anime we watch, so we will make our review this time a little bit different, we’ll just put our general opinion on it, something all three mods agree on.

{ Winter ‘17/’18 }  { Spring ‘18 } { Summer ‘18 }

Akanesasu Shoujo 

It got a little better as episodes when on and it was interesting in some ways when you power through all those cliche scenes of getting power by accepting yourself stuff.

Armor Shop For Ladies And Gentleman 

Short and funny, if you can handle the boob jokes xD It would be more entertaining if the story progressed a little bit faster rather than showing how the three coworkers live together. Also had some much too much prolonged meaningless scenes that ate away the already short duration of the 4 minute episodes.

Ass Miss Beelzebub Likes 

Hell as you’ve never seen it before, all cute and fluffy, with fallen angels and demons being normal desk workers and falling in love ^^ A really cute romance story, the characters are adorable and lovable! It was amazing if you like the genre!

Bakumatsu

Not sure why this is getting a second season, I was really tempted to drop it, it just didn’t keep me interested in the story and had too many characters that are just there and idk what they all wanted. (Only neko finished the season, the rest dropped it lol)

Bloom Into You 

A really sweet yuri anime ^^ It really focuses on their relationship, on the deepening of their feelings for each other and their problems and growth as individuals. It’s soft, easygoing and filled with happy feelings, but at the same time tackles some harder themes, like the feeling of inability too love, unrequited love, losing a loved one and learning to live without them, the different “faces” people have etc.

Dakaretai Otoko 1-i ni Odosarete Imasu

Our dream has come true! A classical BL manga turned anime with no shame with showing the juicy stuff and centered on the relationship of these two hot guys. The angst is mostly unnecessary, but we’ll take what we can get!  

Double Decker! Doug and Kirill

A detective story with a lot of action, humor and lovable characters! Yes, it’s not plot heavy and isn’t an anime that will swipe you off your feet, but it’s different, completely acceptant of diversity, has great humor and, overall, loved it! It has some charm to it that is undeniable!

Gakuen Basara 

Funny AU adaptation of the original series, Sengoku Basara. For those who are thirsty for more content and want to see their favorite characters in a new art style, this is definitely a must watch.

Goblin Slayer

Amazing! Loved loved it! Although, it has violence and rape, so it isn’t for everyone, but it has depth and it’s really interesting. The action is cool and Goblin Slayer-san is even cooler! Loved the other characters too. Totally looked forward to each episode each week, it was definite that the next episode will be great too ^^

Hey, your cat ears are showing!

A really cute shounen ai story (which I didn’t even know, so I was quite surprised when some feelings started to show up xD) about a guy who finds a stray cat who turns out to be a boy! Pure and short.

I’m glad I could keep running

A four-episode story about a guy who tries to become a voice actor. A great story, it’s well paced and worth the watch! And the actual voice actors are also popular and great too!

Jingai-san no Yome

Changing between creepy and cute, it’s a short anime about teenagers being married off to supernatural creatures. Since it’s only 3 minutes per ep, we finished watching it, and it had its cute and funny moments

Karakuri Circus

It’s a bit different, has a unique art style and story, but it’s really good! Kinda expected more of the circus part and less puppets haha, but nevertheless, the main characters are interesting, there are great battle scenes and the story is intriguing. It sometimes had unnecessary angsty scenes with no actual plot, but other than that, a really underrated anime this season that deserves more attention! ~

Kishuku Gakkou no Juliet

It’s a typical romeo and juliet story. Didn’t hate it, but didn’t love it either. 

Merc Storia: Mukiryoku no Shounen to Bin no Naka no Shoujo  

It’s cute and soft and the fact it has many stories makes it less boring, but it’s still a childish anime so you’ll only like it if you are a child like me (in heart).

Radiant

Yes, another overly ecstatic kid who wants to save the world and has mysterious powers, but! It kinda works with this one, it’s actually really good ^^ The characters are cute and funny, it’s easy to watch and if you’re still not on board, there is Dragunov, a really hot guy with amazing hair and cooking skills ;) 

RErideD: Derrida, who leaps through time

The first five episodes are extremely promising, but the rest is not so fulfilling. It’s interesting enough to keep watching, the whole idea is pretty good, but somehow it’s lacking in depth and explanations. Much better binge watched then watched one ep a week.

Run with the Wind

If you ever tried running in your life, you will sympathize with the characters BECAUSE. IT. IS. REALLY. HARD. This anime will warm up your heart seeing how each of the boys try to do fight for their life goals and at the same time, the running helps each of them them in a unique way.

Seishun Buta Yarou wa Bunny Girl Senpai no Yume wo Minai 

Even if the title screams ecchi, it really is not. And it’s really good! The plot is interesting, unique and compelling to watch, loved the characters and their interactions. 

Skull-face Bookseller Honda-san

Since this anime depicts how japanese bookstores work, there are quite some interesting things few would think of. It’s comedic way of showing the everyday life of a bookseller and short episodes is perfect if you are interested in knowing more about the japanese culture. 

So Many Colors in the Future What a Wonderful World

A really beautiful, magical and aesthetic anime! The animation is wonderful and the story is sweet and interesting. It’s a warm story about a girl that is unable to see color and is sent back to the past by her grandma. It’s mostly about friendship and bonds that you make with people that will never disappear. 

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime

Didn’t really expect much from the title, it sounded like there will be a lot of clothes melting and girls screaming haha But it ended up amazing! Love the plot, the characters, the battle scenes and it’s really a sure thing that each episode is going to be great ^^ It’s easygoing yet interesting. An isekai anime done right!

Tsurune: Kazemai Koukou Kyuudoubu

Love it! The characters have really touched our hearts! It is not as good as novel, but the anime is still beautiful so we can forget that (not forgive though). The novel has a completely different feel to it. (Not saying the anime is bad, it’s actually really good and the characters and plot are still amazing, but it’s just different)

Voice of Fox

I liked the anime, but the ending didn’t really solve anything. It felt like like they were just glossing over the bad stuff with singing? It is mostly angst in the later episodes and after the so promising first couple of eps it’s kinda disappointing, but overall, it still keeps the viewer interested and has a lot of potential if they fill the plot holes.

Zombieland Saga

Miyano Mamoru having a blast being a manager for seven zombie girls who he trains to be idols. Extremely hilarious, good music and actually has some real feels! Loved it! ^^

Hero Mask

Doesn’t really fit in the season time frames, but Netflix released another anime! (and I think that it needs a bigger fandom so I’m putting it here hehe) It is a bit more slow-paced than most anime, but if you like a good crime story, you’ll probably like this ^^ Great animation, loved the fight scenes, the story is also really good and has some powerful girl characters! 

Dropped: Ms. vampire who lives in my neighborhood., Release the Spyce, Ulysses: Jeanne d'Arc to Renkin no Kishi

[snkpolls]

SnK Chapter 108 Poll Results

The poll closed with 1,200 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

RATE THE CHAPTER 1,159 Responses

While 4’s outnumbered the 5’s for only the second time in a year, 85% rated this chapter good to excellent. The average score for this chapter was 4.08 out of 5.

dude the art in this chapter!!! i said it once i'll say it again, totally unreal. The art was on point, and just overall this was a breath of fresh air after the head swirling exposition flashback-extravaganza that 107 was.

So many things are going to happen and this chapter was not the calm before the storm but maybe like the storm before the hurricane.

Isayama binging Game of Thrones is paying off. This set of conspiracies on top of conspiracies, with so many parties involved, is just building up to an explosive finale.

First chapter since the suicide charge that’s made me cry.

Great chapter with misleading hints on the upcoming horror that awaits Paradis

It was a very great chapter that combined events from numerous sides perfectly. Wasn't too rushed or too slow either. Although the 104th development is very depressing…

As usual, another chapter with lots of answers and yet I feel like I'm more in the dark than ever. Damn, Isayama sure has a way to keep the questions burning and the plot twists coming!

Why can't answers ever be answers in this series?

Got me shooketh. Eren bb what u doin?

WE’LL GET TO THE DETAILS OF THE 104TH FLASHBACK IN A MOMENT, BUT ASIDE FROM THAT, WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE PART OF THE CHAPTER? 1,168 Responses

The 104th flashback was the favorite fandom moment! The crew blushing at each other got almost a quarter of the vote followed by the “who takes the titan” love fight. “All of the above except Zevi” came in a respectable third.

Christ Gabi's so gonna be mindfucked if she hears DauperGirl's backstory about how Sasha saved her and also Dark fucking Connie I asked for some relevant screentime for him but come on Yams nOT LIKE THIS

I didn't know I could love Jean more, but boy I was wrong

I'm just glad Sasha isn't forgotten, we always have flashbacks of her and now that Gabi and the girl Sasha had saved stumbled upon each other... Well i just hope that if someone gets killed in the woods it isn't one of Sasha's family

let me tell you how absolutely thrilled I am to see Armin driving that train. I am always into watching this boy devour new knowledge and apply that shit. Both his engineer parents would be so proud if they weren't, you know, dead and all.

Armin driving, the Springles dumbception, Mikasa carrying like six or eight times my weight's worth of railroad spikes, Mikasa's ponytail, Mikasa blushing!!

Levi pointing out his team-mates height was kinda funny.

The GabixFalco moment is all I live for

Why weren’t the guys all shirtless while working on the railroad?

Levi was holding a mug normally. unacceptable.

THE 104TH FLASHBACK WAS FILLED WITH SWEET AND SHIPPY MOMENTS. WHICH WAS YOUR FAVORITE? 1,160 Responses

30% of respondents got the warm fuzzy feelings over everyone’s interactions with each other in the flashback. 17% loved seeing the 104th protecting each other from inheriting Eren’s titan, and at a near tie, Springles arguing about who’s a bigger idiot and Eremika’s blushy glance came in third.

Eren confessing his love and being a cutie pie

Jean immediately settling down after Armin gives an explanation. LET ME LOVE MY JEARMIN MOMENT TOO OK

Eren telling everyone he doesn't want them inheriting the titan so they can live long lives

THEY HIT ME WITH SPRINGLES IN MY FACE AHHHH WHY

Don’t really care too much about it.

The glorious foreshadowing of commander Kirstein

I really loved the sweet blush moment between Eren and Mikasa. I thought that everything was lost and Eremika was only an annoying ship created by WiT. Now  Isayama decided to give Eren and Mikasa a little more light. I doubt something will happen between them because of Eren's action, but I see that Mikasa is very important to him.

WHAT IS YOUR THEORY ABOUT THE WINE? 1,159 Responses

Almost half of respondents speculate that the wine has some of Zeke’s spinal fluid in it, with about a third believing that it’s poisoned. If anything, most of the fandom agrees that something is fishy with that bottle...

Oh, right. The poison. The poison for the MP, the poison chosen especially to titanize the MP so Zeke can play his 4d chess game, the MP's poison. That poison?

As much as I want to say "it contains shifter spinal fluid," wouldn't the shifter spinal fluid disappear when it makes contact with the air like other Titan spinal fluids? Yeah, I feel a bit skeptical to see the wine is poisoned with titan spinal fluid, but I can see why fans are speculating it in light of the recent events.

I didn't think anything was up with the wine at the time I read it, but I've seen all these cool spinal fluid theories drifting around and now I want in on that.

IN VINO VERITAS

Nicolo spit in it.

its filled with the tears of the fandom

IS THE PREGNANCY A FAKE? 1,166 Responses

“Fake idk, but all this is fishy as hell” sums up a lot of responses. Close to 60% of the fandom thinks the pregnancy is authentic, 8% believe it is a fake, 30% are unsure.

She may be pregnant, but obviously not in love with the guy

I wish it were, but I'm sensing strong "Ymir reborn" vibes from all this mess so I dunno.

Pregnancy fake? Nah. Daddy reveal fake? I think so!

I'm starting to think it was Eren who suggested it, but because he needed to extend Zeke's lifetime (I'm still convinced the jaegerbros have something wild up their sleeve).

We don't really have enough real information yet to understand her motivations. There is definately something fishy going on though because I just can't see Historia doing something like this out of nowhere. Giving birth puts her at risk of dying, thus leaving Paradis without a queen. Also surely she has not forgotten Ymir and the promise she made to live her own life. If the pregnancy is indeed real then I hope we get real answers soon because I am so confused right now...:/

IF HISTORIA IS PREGNANT, WHAT IS HER MOTIVATION? 1,150 Responses

Almost 1 out of every 2 people think Eren had a hand in Historia becoming pregnant. Nearly a quarter of all respondents think Yelena worked her voodoo magic and basically forced Historia to become pregnant to prolong Zeke’s life. 1/6th thinks Historia left the Greek isle of Lesbos and actually wanted to have a mini-me with farmer-kun. An even smaller part thinks she’s not even pregnant at all.

Eren doesn't want her to become a titan at all as it would pretty much repeat the entire thing that the Reiss family used to do with passing down the Founding Titan every 13 years, I think Eren wants to protect Historia from becoming a titan at all

Eren used the power of the Founding Titan to manipulate Historia to have a baby for an unknown reason.

I think *she* doesn't want to become a titan, ever, so she's using this as a delay until Eren can do something.

I'd say politics and delaying the inevitable.

She wants to be a hero of the Eldians and be remembered as someone who sacrificed herself for them

Imma be real with you chief... I can't say yet. Too many conflicting options, considering the possibility of a fake pregnancy

DOES HISTORIA HAVE FEELINGS FOR FARMER BOY? 1,144 Responses

With nearly 65% of the votes, most people do think Historia is using farmer boi, while around a fifth of all respondents thinks they are in fact working together and the pregnancy is just a ruse. A mere 10% thinks they are actually in love.

As much as I wished that they had at least become friends and agreed on the pregnancy for some secret reason, what we saw so far of Historia makes it look like it's much more likely that she is indeed using him.

He's a willing conspirator due to his old guilt, regardless of the status of the pregnancy

I don't think she is using him, but she is not in love either.

It's complicated

She is using him to hide that Ereh is the dad.

The only person Historia loved and felt strong bond with was Ymir. She may like the farm boy but I highly doubt she is in love with him.

these questions are hard.

Wouldn't that be the twist no one is expecting?  Someone in AoT actually fell in love and started a family?

WHO IS THE CLOAKED FIGURE WHO APPROACHED HISTORIA? 1,137 Responses

Half of respondents believe that Eren was the hooded figure who approached Historia. 33% believe Rogue’s theory that it was Yelena. A small percentage believe that it could have been Hange. Armin, Levi, and Floch were also popular write-ins! Quite a few people are also hopeful the ghost of Ymir came to have a chat with her.

I have no clue, tbh. But I think it's someone we don't expect yet.

Creeper in the bushes!  Red herring!

idk honestly. Probably a random MP spy we will never see again.

I DONT FUCKING KNOW AND ITS KILLING ME

I have a feeling the cloaked figure is a red herring, maybe just a random person working at the orphanage.

I like the idea of Armin being the cloaked figure but idk what to think at this point, we really need Historia's POV.

If Historia truly is pregnant, I think the cloaked figure is just Rogue's imagination. If she is faking pregnancy, I think the figure is Eren.

Isayama

Ymir's ghost

HOW IMPRESSED WERE YOU WITH NILE STANDING UP FOR HISTORIA? 1,163 Responses

We’re happy to report that more than 50% selected “Bless this man for existing” when Nile stood up in defense of Historia.

Nile Dawk is underrated

Rogue is a dick

It was nice to see Nile again :D

IF THE SURVEY CORPS HAD BEEN ALLOWED TO TRY A DIPLOMATIC ROUTE FIRST, WOULD THE ATTACK ON LIBERIO STILL HAVE NEEDED TO HAPPEN? DO YOU THINK WAR WAS INEVITABLE? 1,144 Responses

We’re a pessimistic bunch. 64.2 % believed war was inevitable, but the many of the write-ins expressed that the attack on Liberio was not inevitable and probably made a bad situation worse.

How can you go for the diplomatic route when you're too underexploited to be either steamrolled by Marley or colonized by Hizuru?

I think conflict would be inevitable but diplomacy would've mitigated the damage dealt. It would've sparked off but I think in a different manner.

I think war was inevitable and the strike was necessary but I don’t feel great about Eren’s unilateral actions.

Invitable or not choosing the war path before anything else is never and will never be the right way

Liberio may not have happened, but the world was never going to accept paradis anyway and would have eventually attacked

My heart bleeds bc I think Eren done fucked up but a tiny voice in the back of my head is like 'what if eren and zeke really have the One True Master Plan after all and just can't/won't share any of it to take the burden themselves h ah ah pain one can really know war is inevitable until it breaks out.

Probably. If War still happened after a surprise peaceful meeting, they may have gotten sympathy from the public.

There has to be some universe in which war is not inevitable. Nothing controlled by people should be considered inevitable until it's happened.

War was sadly inevitable, but the attack was not.

DOES HIZURU HAVE ANY REAL INTENTION OF HELPING PARADIS OR ARE THEY ONLY INTERESTED IN RESOURCES AND THE RUMBLING 1,155 Responses

“They are only in it for themselves” is the strong fandom consensus with nearly 70% believing Hizuru has no interest in genuinely helping Paradis. 28.8% believe there may be be a little sincerity in their offer of help.

Hizuru's to-get list: resources, rumbling, Mikasa.

We don't know her real motives but there must be something she's hiding or something she wants for her people in all of this. Everything comes at a price, maybe she'll ask something horrible in exchange for her help.

I think there's still more to Hizuru's intentions that we have not been shown. I still think Kruger and Kiyomi are somehow connected.

This is Kiyomi helping Paradis in the name of Hizuru behind the actual nation ruler. She has her Seacret plan.

They are in it mostly for themselves and I personnaly think that Mikasa is the only reason they don't sell them out

HYPOTHETICALLY SPEAKING, IF ONE OF THE 104TH ARE TO INHERIT EREN’S POWER, WHO DO YOU THINK WOULD BE THE BEST CANDIDATE? 1,148 Responses

Jean’s convincing arguments resonated with most respondents, with 54.8% choosing him. Armin was a close second, with folks wanting him to take on the quadrupel duty of holding 4 titans at once.

Eren cared, but he changed a lot... and that is here the possibility of someone eating him really soon ( i mean they gave us a flashback entirely focused on who will eat him, this is just a huge death flag to me).

I was honestly confused why Armin wasn't considered an option to inherit the titan, since Erens main concern is not shortening anybody's lifespan but Armin doesn't have to worry about that....

Depending on how the story develops, I think Eren would choose either Floch or Falco as the successor of the Attack-Founder Titan. Doubtful that he'll actually pass it on, though.

Theory: Eren doesn't want anyone to inherit his titan, he wants to get this whole war business over before his time runs out

Jean confessing that he'd eat Eren gave me life

WHO HAD THE BEST REACTION TO EREN’S CONFESSION? 1,159 Responses

Nearly half of voters enjoyed Jean calling Eren out for making the atmosphere awkward with his confession all the while blushing himself. 28% of respondents appreciated Mikasa’s knowing smile and blush.

Eren is wholesome. He and his squadmates are precious. I wish eternal happiness for them (Sasha in food heaven).

All good. All also gay. (especially the Erejean)

Eremika and Springles on one page oh my fucking god

WHAT WAS THE PURPOSE OF THE FLASHBACK? 1,156 Responses

The responses are fairly evenly divided on this question, with slightly more than half saying the flashback was to show Eren still cares about his friends and reinforce his humanity. The other half consisted of those saying Eren changed, and a good portion of write-ins that felt the flashback fulfilled both purposes.

Both to show how much he changed, and to prove he still cares for his friends

To convey how serious the situations become that it's bringing if he cares or not into question

To. Make. Us. Cry. By drowning us in angst.

To show that Eren's not fully in control of his own mind. The WH and the Founder worked together to through Paradis under the bus 100+ years ago and now BOTH are in his head messing him up through P A T H S.

Both. Neither. I don't even have a red sunset as an excuse for my red cheeks. That entire scene was so adorable!

I think it was to show how much their whole situation has changed. It was also probably Yams adding some more salt to the wound. It'd be nice if he were less of a sadist.

DOES EREN STILL PRIORITIZE HIS FRIENDS? 1,154 Responses

78% of voters total believe that Eren still prioritizes his friends, however 41% of the total votes believe that it’s not with the same intensity as it was in the flashback. 15% of voters think Eren is no longer the Eren we knew and does not care for his friends anymore.

Not enough information to say one way or the other. Liberio indicates complexity in how Eren shows he cares

He cares about them as much as he did before and so he's willing to sacrifice everything for that sake, including their trust.

Yes, but he isn't the person he was, so his prioritizing will look different.

As already said, I think he is convinced he does, but loses the sight of the greater good.

Eren is a lost cause.

He cares about them even more than before. His time's running out, he sees them about to return to the old cycle, and he wants to settle things while he still can

I think *Eren* still prioritizes his friends.  How much of Eren is still in there.... that I'm not so sure of.

He might still be doing it all to protect those he cares about, but he's now willing to put their life in jeopardy to accomplish his goals if he has to.

I Think he prioritises his goals but based on his reaction to Sasha’s death, I think he still cares for them but he is clouded by whatever his end-goal is.

yes...as sacrifices

i think he's being driven to madness. he's pressuring himself to a huge extent to keep everyone he cared so much about safe and out of harm, and it's literally driving him insane. i  think he laughed at sasha's death simply because the pressure is making him crack to the point where he can't even cry about it anymore. he's become so desensitized to losing after a short period of victory at the start that it just seemed inevitable. of course he lost someone, of course he failed, he's going to die anyway what's it going to matter? we only hear from connie that he laughed as a response, so we don't know what was going through his mind at the time, but the long and short of it would be that yes, i do think eren still prioritizes his friends. however, he's lost his belief in himself to keep them safe and may have given up on their happy ending long ago now.

FROM THE PRESENT DAY 104TH CONVERSATION, WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS DO YOU BELIEVE ARE MOST LIKELY TRUE 1,159 Responses

Most believed there was a lot truth in the 104th conversation. The two options most people found fault with where “Eren is responsible for Sasha’s death” and “If Eren is against them, he should be replaced”.

Eren is on side that has the best chances of his friends ending alive, but that isn't his friends' side.

I'd rephrase two of those options. I believe Armin DOES want to save Eren, but unlike Mikasa, he has a contingency plan -replace Eren if he refuses to cooperate. I think Armin would keep that as the last option, and would only go for it if there literally isn't any other choice. So yes, he *is* trying to save Eren, because that option hasn't been barred yet. I also think Eren *thinks* he's on their side, whether or not everyone else thinks so or not.

Eren is so f*cked up cuz he has 3 titans. Being one of them the founder Titan complicates things.

I think Eren is & isn’t on their side. One of his goals is to protect them at all costs, but he may have to do some things they are against in order to achieve those goals.

Eren was willing to sacrifice his humanity for the lives of his friends

Eren is plotting a Zero Requiem and is willing to distance himself

I am neutral Switzerland.

WHAT DOES THE NEW 3DM GEAR REMIND YOU OF? 1,153 Responses

Nearly 50% of the people who answered this question refused to see anything phallic in this panel, and decided to call us perverts instead. To that we say: a dirty mind is a joy forever ;) Over 30% just had one question: But why? To the remaining 20%: you are our people. Thank you!

You polls people are perverted and I'm here for that.

Erenstans can suck my 3DMG 2.0

The new 3D gear is clearly a reference to the acclaimed Neo Armstrong Cyclone Jet Armstrong Cannon.

WHAT’S YOUR REACTION TO THIS PANEL? 1,156 Responses

32% of respondents just want someone to give Eren a reason to smile again, 30% are uneasy about Eren’s stare and believe he is no longer on Paradis’ side. 23% of voters would love to be mean-mugged by Eren all day and 13% of voters wished he would have been given shoes instead of a shirt.

Blushing Young Eren: A blushing baby who I want to adopt! Mean staring Adult Eren: Holy Bloody Mary on a pogo stick, he's making ME blush!

Is Eren wearing the same shirt as when he was a kid? Was he wearing it all the time?

Eren's prison bed is way too long

i'm tired of Eren's angry stare, I want to find out what's his deal, and him to go out from that prison, I swear to God, he spends like 30% of this manga either kidnapped or in prison, he is 19 and was 3 times arrested and 3 times held against his will by various captors.

I just hope that Eren can prove that he is on their side because I know he will always care about his friends.

WHAT’S YOUR REACTION TO THIS PANEL? 1,160 Responses

Reiner’s burst of motivation and drive has you all split - either for Reiner to go rescue the kids or for him to stay away from Paradis for good! (PS all of you that didn’t answer Pound Me are lying to yourselves)

All aboard the Paradis Feels Train, next stop Reiner's Suffering.

LET REINER HAVE CUSTODY BACK OF HIS CHILDREN.

Reiner is a sexi boi

REINER SAVE YOUR BABIES

WHAT DO YOU BELIEVE REINER’S PRIMARY MOTIVATION IS TO RETURN TO PARADIS? 1,164 Responses

The vast majority thinks Reiner’s main motivation is rescuing the two little rascals, but 27% thinks he wants to face Eren one last time. A small part also thinks Reiner will live up to his role a traitor and will switch sides again. Then there’s the folks that believe Reiner stopped being suicidal. If only everyone would have such optimism.

His hands are overflowed with strength, his eyes are filled with resolve and will to live - what a great timing for Isayama to make a new round of suffering for Papa Braun

Reiner wants to return to paradis because it is a suicide mission.

I hope that this time Reiner is not going to cause more problems and fight to Eren and SC. I hope he has learnt something, understood his mistakes and is going to walk on the right path.

I can't wait to see Reiner becoming Helos

I really want a reunion of Reiner and the 104th kids ok

I wouldn’t be surprised if Reiner’s main motivation for returning to Paradis so quickly is to save Gabi and Falco, but then...I’m tempted to believe there’s more to it than that, and I wouldn’t be surprised if there IS more to it either. Maybe he still wants Eren to kill him, or maybe he suddenly feels that he has to die on Paradis and he wants to get it over with quickly, or maybe there’s just some other shit on his mind that might surprise us at least a lil bit, I don’t know.

Papa Reiner just wants to save his children. He has no alignments anymore. He just wants to keep his kids safe and die already. I'm crying over mY SON REINER JUST LET HIM BE HAPPY.

Reiner please stop scarring yourself by putting yourself at war with paradis consistently omg

Reiner just wants to suffer

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES

Most people who took this poll primarily discuss the chapter contents on Reddit, while around 1 out of every five people roams on Tumblr, with Discord taking a distant third place. From now on we’re only going to allow one choice for this question, to see if we can find some major differences between platforms. Thank you for your cooperation!

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER?

bitccchhh where do i even start

Really great chapter, felt like one of those that needs to happen so that you get everyone's perspective before something major happens.

No one knows what's going on except those damn Jaeger Bros.

Armin said Zeke and Eren had a jaegertalk but nobody knows what they talked about....so....that can't lead anywhere good

Save Gabi from Paradis? Please. More like save Paradis from Gabi, amirite?

Good chapter, I just wish it was longer. So far we've had every chapter consist of a mix between flashback and present time. While I appreciate the flashbacks, I hope we get back to more present time soon so the story can move forward at a quicker pace. I really wanna know the full details of Historia's situation and also when tf is Annie coming back for real it's been 4 stinking years…

It was absolutely great. The juxtaposition of the sweet moments the 104th cadets used to have just one year ago with the atmosphere of hatred and distrut towards Eren that dominates now is heart-breaking. Other than that, the father story is really fishy, especially because it was told from an outsider's perspective. as opposed to say, Historia's. I honestly believe the father is someone else and farmer-kun is just a cover up.

(About Eren's panel) he has been wearing the same shirt since he was 10

Loving the Paradis flashbacks after a year of being willing to sell my soul for them.

I feel it's a bit ridiculous to say that none of Eren is left in there. My interpretation of his character post-basement thus far hasn't been that far from his post uprising personality. The difference is that he seems more at a loss for alternatives and even more determined to finish things by any means necessary (if that's even possible). But, I do think he's got some secrets to rival zeke's.

I have high expectation on Gabi. Her arc began from a rather generic/metaphorical one yet it's become more and more emotionally relatable and unpredictable. I once thought Falco was the core of Marley arc but now it looks like he might be the one who is more of the story tool among them.

I cannot believe that something that happened like 70+ chapters ago (Sasha saving that little girl) will be pivotal for the ending. Sasha truly was the real MVP.

104th don't know that real meetings are done with chairs, not couches and armchairs!! Kids, that's not how you were thought to do things.

It was an interesting chapter. We had more explanation, but even more questions to ask: why is Historia's  pregnancy fishy, who suggested her to do it, why did Eren attack Marley, what happened that made him even more angry, and turned him into a mass murderer, what is going to happen in sasha's house and how is Marley going to counterattack.(and where is floch) It's getting even more interesting, and I really can't wait to see how Isa is going to explain and unfold all this

I liked the Connie dark moment. He finally got some attention from Isayama. I thought that he was totally forgotten. I wish Connie shown his other sides more often. He is way too good, calm and pure.

I have my doubts about Armin's theory that "when Zeke and Eren activate the Coordinate, Eren will be the one in control," because unlike Smiling Titan who was mindless, Zeke is a Titan Shifter.

Really bummed with Historia's story right now. Why not have Zeke bang a ton of women instead?

EAST SEA CLAN CONSPIRACY THEORY INTENSIFIES AAAAAYYEEEEKKK

Eren brought this on himself. Getting devoured is only facing the consequences of his actions. I hope Mikasa is the one that kills him in the end.

Eren is not father, but cloaked figure is definitely him.

Everyone in this chapter is precious and people can fight me on this. And I'm looking forward to what Hottie Eren bun has to say!

Honestly, I feel like we as readers are still quite in the dark on character motivations, like Eren and Zeke's so a lot of these questions I am conflicted on. I mean that in a good way.

We still haven't heard a lot from Zeke and Levi present day, I really hope it's coming soon. And someone needs to go and talk to Eren! (other than Hanji)

I’ve already called it, but I’m calling it again for record keeping purposes: Historia is going to die in childbirth.

I'm very, very glad that some members of the SC and 104th are starting to wake up and realize that Eren isn't in control of himself and therefore dangerous.  I'm fascinated to see which path this takes them down.

I think at this point, Eren is simply fighting for what he thinks is correct, period. It's black and white. Eren probably doesn't see them as right and if they aren't, they are obstacles to overcome. If that is the case, Paradis cannot continue to cling to him. Hence why I can understand Armin saying the things he did.

I honestly don't think Gabi and Falco's lunch will be focused on Gabi suddenly feeling sorry for Sasha after a sad story. After all, she has her own grudge (Zofia -who has the same hair than the girl-, Udo, the gatekeepers...). If anything, this dinner party is here to tell us how Ragako was titanized, and how Zeke intends to spread the virus through food. Enjoy your meal!

Still hoping to see Levi knee Zeke in the face

Isayama is trying to kill me. The eremin/ema talk next chapter, if we really get one, is going to kill me. I will be dead. By isayama's hand. Killed.

I'm betting my pizza, my cat, whatever that this freaking monkey is pulling a ragako 2.0!

One of the best moments was when Gabi asked Falco why he’s following her because HE doesn’t have to die. She genuinely cares about him.

Jean leaning back was the best panel ever drawn

Mikasa in the little ponytail reminded me about how gay I was

can Levi kill Zeke already?

Where is Floch???

All of the above except Zevi

That’s all for this month! Thanks again to everyone who participated. We’ll see you again for chapter 109!

[angelinuhh]

Hi there A! Could we get a public review from you? Thank you so much and we hope that you have a breathtaking upcoming week! ~ Admin Catie

DISCLAIMER: this review is onlyreflective of my own opinions and is intended to provide constructivecriticism. there is no obligation to listen to or agree with anything said.

OVERALL:

the reality tv junkie in me loves this concept of this rp. and, asI look around, this typifies exactly what I love about the genre: characterdevelopment, fast-paced events and, of course, a healthy dose of competition. Ilove your color scheme and your theme. for a contained theme, I found it incrediblyeasy to navigate—which was a real and true blessing. however, I do think that there are still many things to improve, Ithink a little more consistency and editing in your descriptions and overallaesthetic could really elevate your rp and make it more accessible andattractive to prospective members. I also would like to see a change in yourrules, both in policy and in tone. overall, I wish you guys the best of luck.

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PLOT:

I really do love the rp idea, but I do think the plot page leavesa little something to be desired. For appless rps, especially ones withoutblurbs on the sidebar, you really do need something that is concise, both eye-catching and attention-grabbing, all the while getting to the point. while the content you have on this page isn’tbad, you have a long-ish block of text that can read a little dry at time.

I’ve taken the liberty of editing your plot to take on a more activetone to show you what I mean. while you have no obligation to use it, you dohave full permission to:

 There is no greater motivation in theworld than money – and nowhere is that more present than in ParadiseIsland, MTV’s new reality television show. Sent to a private island inpairs and forced to compete challenges and tasks set by the producers, contestantsoften find themselves doing things they wouldn’t normally do, all for a chance at$750,000.

Here at Paradise Island, the fun never stops. With 24/7 Streaming, viewers are given a real-time seat to the  drama,the romance and more! While binge-worthyshows are great, the 12 million daily viewers know the truth: they never have to find something new towatch again.

After a rigorous application process, including video essays about why theywould like to be on the show, interviews and even a test challenge was preparedto see which finalists caused the most drama or had the most chemistry, thehundreds of potential applicants were narrowed down to just 40. The producersrandomly assigned each contestant into pairs and, for the duration of the show,these partners were to share a room in the mansion and work together to win thegrand prize. 

But what happens next—will loveblossom? Will greed step in? Witha 1/20 chance of winning the $750,000, most of the contestants will do anything to get their hands onthat money, but there can only be one pair of winners.

Who will be victorious in the first Paradise Island?

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paradiseislandhq is anappless  23+ pairedmuse roleplay based on reality television. Contestants have been sent to aprivate island and must work in pairs for the chance to win a grand jackpot of $750,000w/ additional prizes. We focus on weekly character development tasks &challenges, plotting between members, in-character drama, and. of course- vacation vibes! Applicants are free toapply for a wanted connection partnership or to have one picked at random foryou!

 If you would like to take a crack at it, here’s what I tried to fix.

Have a more ACTIVE TONE

 thisis a purely stylistic choice, but i would suggest varying up sentence structureand utilizing your bold and italic keys a little more as most people in thegenre do.

Try to avoid going on tangents

Inthe beginning, you start with the motivator of money above all and thenimmediately move to love and status, thus weakening the power of your opening

Ialso did not particularly think the tangent about streaming services in thethird paragraph was necessary. Your goal is to emphasize that the show is 24/7—you don’t necessarily have to explain that.

Is it… $750,000 or $750,000+, because both were used. That needsto be clear.

The first thing I always look for is the synopsis at the bottom,but yours is a little bit long. 

Iwould center it as well. You can do this by entering into the html and putting , I think.

Side note: make sure your navigation tab’s blurb matches the one on this page.

I also spotted a couple of grammar errors. Your biggest and mostfrequently repeated error is run-on sentences and a lack of commas.

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RULES

bh, your rules page was a hugeturnoff for me. I don’t think it was your intention, but it was very blunt, alittle wordy (ik ik… im legit the most wordy person on earth) and read kind of…rude. A a potential applicant and as a reviewer, I just- I wasn’t feeling itand would likely be very wary of applying because of it.  There are also quite a few run-on sentenceshere, so watch out for that.

I’m not going to rewrite the whole thing, but here are a few specificchanges I would make and alternate wordings to your statements.

 Edits

(++) I would put in a HOW WE RP section and add in the stuffabout the tasks, points and challenges. Because that should not go underinclusivity. I also do not understand how it works and I need much moreexplanation. I can guess, of course, but I shouldn’t have to. You need toclearly outline how this rp will be run and how tasks will be delegated and pointswill be awarded. Vaguely stating that there will be challenges and points andwhatever will not work.

(++) Your muses section is very confusing. Especially the agebut also the diversity part. I understand that you feel strongly about this,but I brought it up to some friends and many of them were just as confused as Iwas. I read your FAQ and things did not get any clearer. If I were you, I wouldsimply say “all muses and fcs must be older than 25. Please aim to make yourcharacter’s age believable with your faceclaim.”. And that, “to encouragediversity, if you have more than one character, at least one must be POC.” Asyou have it, it is very murky and kind of defensive?? almost. Like I reallywant people to be over 25, but I guess they can play 23, but also they canactually be 40 but they can play in their 20s. It’s convoluted and I get alittle frustrated trying to read it. In my opinion, you just have to pick asingle age and go with it.

I feel like your unfollow rule is extremely lenient for one ofthese rps. It may lead most of your members being inactive before they getunfollowed.

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Alt wordings (some suggestions)

Although it is expected that in-character partnerships will needcharacter development, please make an effort to interact with all member.Bubble RPing is NOT permitted and we aim to make an inclusive environment whereall muns can explore their characters.

Youroriginal statement really put the onus on the RPer like they’re already doingsomething wrong.

We are happy to oblige with hiatus or semi-hiatus requests. Lifecomes up and we want all of our players to be comfortable. However, we onlyaccept these requests through asks that come through our inbox.

Reallythe CAPS and the Do not inform by im… don’t really feel like you want me tocomfortable.

We allow small/medium gifs. Please do not use large gifs. In orderto be accessible we do not allow gif icons under 90x90. >>>>In order to be accessible, large gifs and gif icons under 90px are not allowed.We prefer small/medium gifs.

Feel free to cause in character drama. However, no OOC drama willbe tolerated !! >>> While in-character drama can be fun, OOCdrama will not be tolerated.

idk why but those exclamation points were felt in my soul, man. Sdfjdkf. Look, it’s just a little intimidating.

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ACCESSIBILITY :

I knowthis sounds like a small thing, but I really am impressed.Container themes are notoriously hard to navigate but I had little to notrouble going through yours. If your rp grows, that muse tab is going to behell to update so I admire your commitment.

My onlycritiques are that

 youneed to finish updating your nav so there are no broken/nonexistent links—whichI’m sure you will do

on your/map page, you have ‘wanted connections’ spliced so both wanted and connectionare links.

I’dmuch rather see a page with all the tags to track than just having them floataround on the navigation. But this is totally up to you to change.

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AESTHETIC/GRAPHICS:.

Lovethem. Whoever did them, mostly, did a good job in maintaining the color scheme.My only critique is that I’m not really feeling the headers for, like, the plotpage and the wanted connections…etc. These harsh black borders and script fontsstand out a lot and, while the images are nice, they have a completelydifferent color scheme (dark blue-ish tones to the warm and tropical orange ofthe rest of the theme). I wish they would! Because otherwise, I really do likewhat you have here.  

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MORE.

I would edit or remove the first question onyour FAQ.If anyone asks the question, you can say to promote age diversity andthat’s reason enough. As it stands, the question and the answer just makes me confusedand, some of the statements like “actors over 25 have more resources” is justuntrue.

thebiggest flaw that I see in your RP is inconsistency and occasional lack ofclarity. here is a list of things I’ve found that varied from page to page.

1.      Sometimesthe jackpot is 750,000. Sometimes it is not.

2.      Theblurb on your navigation does not match the blurb on your plot page

3.      Yourefer to this rp both as appless and semiappless.

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TLDR; what i would like to see changed, vaguelyin order of most of least importance. Feel free to ignore any or all of these.

REDO your rules page to include a HOW WE RP detailing thepoints, tasks and challenges

 CHOOSEa clear and consistent ruling on your age bending/limits. It might make senseto you and promoting age diversity is very admirable, but, look, we’re alldumb.

EDITyour rules page to be… more affable. It’s not bad as it, but it just helpspeople get through it.

i wrote a few alternate phrasings you can look at

EDITyour plot to be more engaging and concise to really grab people’s attention.

i wrote something above that you may use

DOUBLE CHECK all your pages to make sure that you don’tcontradict yourself in various places.

 as a last note and reminder, YOU DO NOT HAVE TO TAKE ANY OF MYSUGGESTIONS. There is no ill-will from me to you. As always, this is notintended to be hate and I genuinely want the best for you guys. However, I amterminally cursed to be nitpicky. I’ve done my very best to make sure my adviceis constructive, but please call me out if you find any of this offensive orcrude.

I genuinely like the idea of the RP and appreciate the work you’veput in. Seeing Dev Patel used--- makes my day. Thank you for your time andpatience.

If you have any more concerns or questions, please feel free tocontact me.

[thesoupoftheafternoon]

6.5ish years T, 5.5ish years post top

Updating because of a surprise revelation regarding my dose & how it relates to my mental health. Also because I haven't posted on this for two years!

First off, general changes. Dose stuff at the end. (TL;DR dose stuff--by accident I lowered my dose by .1 mL and despite never having felt much of a difference mood-wise from changing my dose before, I feel fucking great and actually happy for the first time in a while! Surprise, your levels should also take into account your age and you shouldn't use the same reference range for the whole time you're on T!)

Under cut--this is mad long. [And cw for mental health talk including v mild suicide ideation, also alcohol/drugs]

T stuff:

I posted pretty much the same thing last time, but I'll reiterate that the vast majority of these changes are basically subtle things that no one else notices and that probably have more to do with just getting older/diet/exercise than being on T. My facial hair range is exactly the same as it was two years ago (literally just ‘stache and chin directly below the mouth) which checks out based on my dad/my entire family. I shave about once a week. Happy trail a little bit happier, lil more arm hair, lil more leg hair. Haven't been checking super closely but I think I have more hair around my butthole. Dick size is the same. Appetite has dropped a bunch--I can't scarf down food the way I used to. I’m read as male all the time, haven’t been misgendered based on my appearance since like 2013. 120-125ish pounds.

Chest stuff: (I had keyhole btw)

Nipple sensation is back, I repeat, nipple sensation is BACK! They're healthy and super perky, which I used to be kinda insecure about since they stick out a bit, but also like, who gives a shit? I would say they feel about 90% as sensitive as they were before surgery, and after a bit of touching they do start feeling a little less sensitive, but they never go completely numb. I'd say they've been at this level of sensation since early 2017. Left nipple is more sensitive than my right. My right nipple used to kinda bulge outward on the bottom but I guess the scar tissue has broken down somewhat since it's lying a lot flatter these days. The numb chest patches are smaller and way less numb and it takes less pressure for them to register touch. Drain scars look kinda like bug bite scars. Under-areola scars are very hidden, basically invisible. 

Lower surgery??

It’s on my mind but it’s always been a little on my mind. It’s not a priority. A hysto/oopho may be in order someday. But I’ve been thinking about what I want my junk to look like and be like as I get older, and whether my current setup and how I relate to it is going to be sustainable. I genuinely don’t know whether I would rather get metoidioplasty or phalloplasty. There’s a lot more thinking to be done. 

Dose stuff: 

I started T in 2012 with .5 injections every other week. With 200 mg/mL that averages out to 50 mg of T per week, although I'm sure my levels were different from someone on a weekly schedule. Around the 2.5 year mark my bloodwork came back saying I had super low T. I upped my dose to .5 every week, so 100 mg/week (which is famously a pretty common dose, there's even some trans merch company called .5cc.) Over the next year or two (I really don't remember exactly when) my bloodwork showed me now at very high T levels, nearly and in some cases exceeding the upper threshold of my doctors' reference ranges, so I lowered my dose to .4 and then to .3 mL/week, or 80 and then 60 mg/week. Of course I worried about T aromatizing into E, but my doctor at the time didn't test my blood for estradiol until I had already reduced my dose down to .4, and said my E levels were fine (I don't remember the exact number.) 

Even at 60 mg/week my T levels were still high. I and my doctors chalked it up to the fact that I work out a lot and/or maybe my body was just like that The general consensus was that "if your period isn't coming back, your E levels are fine," usually followed with some question like “how are you feeling on this dose?” or “are you feeling good?”

And what I kinda knew then then, but what’s even clearer to me now, is that I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA. My I-guess-it’s-anxiety, my on-and-off idk-if-it's-depression, my garbage sleep cycle, my self-doubt and second-guessing and skewed perspectives, have all been around in some form or another, so it's very hard for me to parse out what I'm even Really Feeling sometimes, never mind what might be causing that feeling. For the last several years if I felt bad I would usually conclude one of the following:

I feel bad because I’m actually a shitty person and feeling bad is natural for how bad and awful a person I am.

I feel bad because the world is fucked and society is crumbling and feeling bad is natural for how literally everything we love will be swallowed by the sea and/or be salted and burned in worldwide conflict.

Which is obviously not conducive to trying to figure out any other external factors or triggers for my shitty mental health!!

Plus it’s not like I was exactly excited to have less testosterone in my body. I was genuinely nervous that lowering my dose lower than .3 a week would just be an experiment that wouldn’t do anything except make me less buff and maybe even bring back my period. And I’d always been a little skeptical about the extent of hormonal effects on mood. T certainly affected my mood positively when I started, that was an obvious cause/effect, but I figured (and still do think) that had SO much more to do with finally being seen as a guy and having a masculine body than any sort of direct T-on-brain action. I did notice some increased irritability, but it wasn't much, and also I was still 16 lol. I noticed changes over the course of months or years--never within the course of a week. I can’t relate at all to folks who talk about spikes or troughs in their levels or getting a rush or feeling low based on where they were in their shot cycle. So I'd always tell doctors that I felt fine on whatever dose I was on because, well...I guess I felt fine!!

For the last several months--maybe the last year and a half, tbh--my mental health has been pretty bad. Over the course of any given day, the things I felt were generally limited to annoyance, panic, self-pity, drunk, stoned, and horny, and usually in that order. And that's a relative statement, because I'm pretty functional and haven't ever hit clinical levels of whatever, have always been able to find enjoyment in some things and get endorphins from exercise and complete necessary tasks on time, but hey, if you're reading this and feel like it's normal to constantly have "I hate myself, I fucking suck, why don't I just die" churning around in your head even if you're "not going to act on it," or that it's normal to drink and smoke weed until you basically pass out 6 days out of 7, or that it's normal to feel convinced every bit of positive affirmation you're getting is out of pity, Honey You've Got A Big Storm Coming. Like, again, considering how shit awful our current sociopolitical climate (and also the literal Earth's climate) are, it's no surprise I felt these were understandable feelings, and like, I guess they kind of were? But just because a feeling is understandable doesn't mean it's a good thing that I'm having it. Which seems remarkably obvious in hindsight!

Anyway, about a month ago I underestimated how much was left in my vial and had to do a .2 mL shot instead of .3. That's 40 mg for that week: even lower of a dose than when I started T. As the week went on I noticed I actually felt consistently happy: not just "someone's giving me attention," not just "nihilistic fun," not just "I guess the things I'm looking at right now are pretty," but actually satisfied, content, grounded, having emotions that felt like they came FROM ME. 

And since I’m always one to consider alternative explanations, there’s plenty of other factors that might have led to this improved mood. When I lowered my dose, I had just gotten accepted to two new jobs. I’d met up with friends I hadn’t seen in a while. But it’s not as though before I lowered my dose I never felt happy. It just never stuck around. These days I’m able to retain a positive emotion beyond the precipitating event and not just have the same boring self-hating thoughts over and over again. Which is huge!! I feel like I’ve really broken the thought cycle that’s defined much of my thinking for the last few years. So many of my emotions have been about my emotions, and a big part of why I felt so awful was feeling so helpless against these thoughts, and understanding completely deep down that it was irrational, that it really didn’t make any sense for me to feel this awful. That of course tapped horribly into my endless guilt complex and fed it and it just went on and on. 

I haven’t gotten my levels tested again yet--that’ll happen later this month. (My doctor knows and is cool with this reduced dose.) I’m especially interested to see where my estradiol will be at. My T will probably be more reasonable for someone my age--I feel like my crazy 1000+ ng/dL T levels were okay when I was like 19-20 but now that I’m a whole 23 years old (yo!!!) it makes sense they should be a little lower. I’m not a doctor, though--but then again, real ass certified doctors have made hashes of my medical care in the past, so I’m comfortable trusting myself a little on this one. 

General life update and thoughts on being trans in this world:

I’m much more relaxed and much more okay with being trans these days. Comes with being a lot more sure about myself and who I am, which is a continuous process and one that was happening even before I lowered my dose and was suddenly way less depressed. While I still get hives at the thought of anyone outing me without my permission, I’m a lot more comfortable outing myself to people, even large groups of people, even folks who I might not really know. I’ve come to appreciate the parts of me that are definitely and absolutely because I am trans or that reveal I am trans, and the connections I can make with people by sharing those parts of me.

I’m not sure I’d say I have a career at this point, but definitely most of the work I’m doing these days is in social justice, non-profit, LGBTQ-related, activist work. My resume more or less outs me as at the very least a deeply committed trans ally, lol. I think growing up and realizing I was trans I hated the thought that it would define who I was and what I did. I didn’t want to touch activism or trans spaces in general with a trillion-foot pole. 

I’ve since gotten over myself and like...let myself enjoy things, I guess? I really do find nonprofit work super rewarding and I finally admitted to myself I fucking love chilling with other trans people and talking about trans shit and that I do love, if not the fact that I And My Body Am Trans, the existence of community and the thoughts and ideas that we share. And a lot of the time I do like my body. And I’m kinda ready for this newfound happiness to stop feeling so fresh and exciting, because I know it’s a bit weird and inappropriate to be talking about how happy I am that I feel great when, again, The World’s Some Shit Right Now. 

But I think in general--not just about being trans--I’m letting myself feel the happiness that I have, with so much less guilt and shame. I always knew intellectually but am finally putting into practice the fact that simply denying myself happiness or feeling bad that I feel happy doesn’t bring happiness to folks who don’t have it. 

that’s it for now ! 

[soonhoonsol]

I hope you get back good days sooner 🥺, i'm okay! and yes i finally got to listen to jun's song it wasn't available on spotify before but now is, his voice is so soothing i love it. And the seungkwan ost i was talking about is 'the reason' from lovestruck in the city drama!! but song still isn't available on spotify :c.

also about true beauty :

Like suho going to states and things which unfold after he goes there should've been showed in episode 10 or 11 if they wanted it to be a little late. to push a big plot twist like this almost at the end made all things which happened after, seem rushed. with suho, jug, seojun their different timelines and timeline together all of it felt rushed :/

i can understand where suho is coming from when he aksed for breakup. he himself has been in relationships where he always had to wait and wait, he has felt the neglect of being in a relationship of name only with his dad he didn't want jug to wait for him and be in same position as he once had been in. i can understand why he did but his method of doing it was very wrong :( i wish he had explained it to her instead of throwing "we should break up". doing something without much explanation is something i would expect from first episode suho not the suho who made some progress and learned how to be in friendship and relationship also him coming back and following around jug as if the break didn't even happen is something webtoon suho would never have done had he been in relationship with jug before going to japan. Webtoon suho doesn't share much but he knows how to read room and is considerate of other's feelings ( sorry for comparing both so much it's just i'm disappointed in writers for creating small differences like these which made drama suho a little less likable in my eyes ) it was not fair to jug :(.

i also feel bad for seojun because from start till end writers only gave him one thing, his feelings for jug it's only towards the very end they gave him something to work with ( his debut) for himself only. sigh.

wedding of jug's sister and teacher was fun, also soojin looks so good in short hair 🥺 i love sua's hair too idk if it's just me but her hair in last two episodes looked extra pretty. i'm glad soojin came around ( would've loved a little more explanation, her p.o.v of her unlearning her toxicity and healing. as i said it felt rushed :3 )

I'm not happy nor sad towards its ending i feel. suho and jug's reading compilations from childhood till present were really nice i liked that. you can add whatever else you wanna vent about hehe. take care <3 - couprang anon

hey couprang anon!! this is long so i’ll answer under the read more :)

ahh that OST :( it isn’t on Spotify yeah... feels bad tho that I’ve never heard that OST either... I’m not really an OST fan I realize; most OSTs I hear are ballads and they’re not my style T~T

that’s honestly a really good analysis of Suho... again idk anything about relationships but yeah I think Suho should’ve explained it to Jugyeong better instead of breaking up like that... but he looked so hurt after he did it... I just wanted to hug him :(

although the whole story of them getting back together after 2 years? I was so confused... why did the producers decide to take this webtoon and turn it 360 degrees? I mean... my #TeamSuho heart is so happy but my #TeamSeojun heart is broken on the floor, stomped on by the producers. Seojun doesn’t deserve this

drama Suho is lowkey obsessive tbh... like I understand wanting to protect your gf or whatnot but going after her even when she says she doesn’t want to see him anymore? that part made me so angry at Suho like dude, yeah, please read the room

webtoon Suho deserved better, which we got with drama Suho, but webtoon Suho was a much more likeable character and I miss him :( (but he’s back so all is gud). Webtoon Seojun got all the good stuff which drama Seojun was robbed of and I can’t help feeling injustice for this drama

like I wanna be a video editor or director or anything in that industry, and I think it’d be cool to adapt a book/webtoon into a drama/movie... and TB filled a lot of plotholes from the webtoon in the first half of the series, but then it immediately turned around after Suho confessed in Ep8. are we still watching a webtoon-based drama? I don’t think so. I think this is a drama drama now.

either way, #HanSeojunProtectionSquad is a go. would you like to join, couprang anon? my son deserves better T~T

but on a lighter note, Heegyeong and Junwoo marriage!! SO CUTE AHHHHH I love how they did it; it was so wholesome and funny. but also Juyong not giving up on his crush on Gowoon... my poor heart can’t take this. I’m glad Gowoon’s starting to reciprocate, even if she doesn’t wanna admit it

overall I guess this was a pretty good drama? I definitely preferred it in the first half of the series, but I really hope we have a second season or something (idk how kdramas work). I really wanna see #TeamSeojun in action instead of getting just crumbs T~T

sorry this got lengthy T~T