#if anyone else is struggling with the injection side of stuff

[this-is-a-fire-door]

🌔

[catboybiologist]

March 2024 documentation and transition journal

Just got my levels results back, meaning that the doc is fully updated for March:

This is possibly one of the most exciting and interesting months of HRT since starting, because I've experimented around a lot with injection doses, so let's talk about that! I'm also slapping a couple of old pics in here for reference, so I'll slap some selfie tags on this.

So, lots of interesting HRT stuff. At my last levels check, I was on 4mg injectable EV a week. And… my E actually went down, even though that’s an effectively higher dose than my previous regimen (6mg sublingual/day). Because of this, I talked with my provider, and essentially she told me to fuck around. I probably was way looser with it than she wanted me to be, but she told me to go to 8mg/week maximum, and try and settle on 6mg/week minimum. So….. here’s what I did.

1 week of 8mg.

2 weeks at 7mg.

2 weeks 6mg, during which my levels were checked at mid.

I… can’t really advocate for this. Basically, my logic was that I wanted to see what it felt like to max things out, but have my actual levels check reflect what I’m like at 6mg to know if increasing or maximizing the dose beyond that is necessary at all. Ultimately, I’ve concluded that 8mg feels too high- I start getting a bit of headache and nausea at peak. 7mg feels very comfortable. 6mg, I felt fucking miserable at trough. When I was on 4mg/week, I used a couple of sublingual pills to try and get through that, but I tried to see if I could stop doing that. It went okay for the higher doses, but on 6mg… ugh. Felt like complete shit. I’ll def be using a couple this week to get through that, probably just 4-6mg sublingual on wed/thurs to make sure I’m feeling okay.

Oh. Also. I ditched Spironolactone, against the advice of my provider. 

I was getting really, REALLY irritated by the diuretic effects, so I quit it when I tried to 8mg dose just to see what would happen. I figured that 8mg would be more than enough to suppress T on its own (likely true), and so I thought it would be the best time to try that. And… when I stopped spiro, a depressive haze that had been in my head lifted very quickly. I thought it was just depression based on a rough past couple of months, and that’s probably true, but it also felt physical. The diuretic effects have also stopped, and I genuinely can’t imagine going back on spiro.

I’ve heard a lot of theoretical stuff about spiro potentially being able to inhibit growth and development. It's possibly a growth hormone inhibitor, but should be a more potent antiandrogen than anyone else. It’s…. Really hard to say whether spiro actually inhibits growth. As with a lot of transfemme physical developments, there’s never been a comprehensive, conclusive study on it, which is why its relegated to miscellaneous anecdotes that everyone will swear one way or the other on. I’ll have some opinions on this later.

So what improvement to my levels did I get out of all of this?

Well…. Good, but nothing radical. My midcycle estrogen is 159 pg/mL, which is about my target for trough. It’s a good step up from the 4mg dose, but I’m probably going to increase to 7mg/week- that felt fine to me, and I’m pretty confident that that’ll be the dose that nails it. I’m pretty deadset on going forward with that, I would just need a levels check to verify we’re all good there. (Side note, I’m a bit frustrated that my body literally seems allergic to just… stuff. Idk if I have an overactive liver or what, but my T crashed super easily, adderall consistently lasts shorter than it should, and my E is really struggling to go up.)

And did this result in any physical improvement? 

I actually think that this last month has been the single fastest month of physical development I’ve ever had. Here’s some things I’ve noticed:

My breasts have become much larger and more developed in relation to my chest, with a much better shape. Comparison pictures to even just the end of January show a wild difference (sorry, not posting that publicly). To be fair, though, I’m still pretty clearly in tanner 2, and I maybe want to wait for just a bit more development before I start progesterone. 

Waist measurement is still going down, and hip measurement is still holding steady. This means that, in effect, my hips are getting wider.

And this is one of the most exciting ones- my upper body seems like its getting smaller. I’m floored by this. My underbust is less, my chest looks noticeably less barrel-y, and my ribcage kind of “flows” into my waist better. I wrote a bit about this on reddit just now, but I think I know what’s happening here. Not only is fat burning from the sides of my chest as it builds on the front of my chest, I actually think my costal cartilage might be getting “tighter”, effectively pulling my ribs a bit closer in to my sternum

I have…. No way to confirm the hunches of that last one, other than the images I can show. So for educational purposes (and y’know. Making the funny women in my phone type funny syllables) Here’s a quick timeline where I think you can see the “barrellness” of my chest decreasing:

From left to right, we have September (0-1mo), December (3-4mo), March (6-7mo)

Don't worry, my shoulders are just as wide and athletic dyke-y.

Am I delusional? Is this anything? Maybe. Pictures are hard to make consistent with changes this small. But I do feel like its noticeable, and it seems like women’s cut shirts and tanks have fit me in a way that’s a lot more consistent with a cis woman’s body. Again, there’s also nsfw images, and I think they show a lot of progress, and I think I can pretty definitively say that this has been the single month with the most physical changes since, well, my first month back in September. 

Why did this happen? Well, I’m working with a sample size of one here, and multiple variables have changed at the same time. There’s really three things that could be happening: increased injection dosage, ditching spiro, or the general come and go of physical changes. It’s impossible to completely know what’s going on because of this, unfortunately- I’d need way more data. That said…. This is the first new “wave” of development I’ve had since I started, and my actual blood levels didn’t increase that much. I really, really don’t want to conclude anything, but I’m kinda thinking that spiro had something to do with it. It has broad effects on physiology which aren’t entirely characterized, that could easily theoretically be inhibiting generic growth and development. That said, I think starting with a strong antiandrogen is basically necessary for HRT. It’s extremely difficult to get E levels up without robustly inhibiting T first. Obviously don’t take this as medical advice, or even a scientific opinion. This is nothing more than a hunch.

Idk. I’m happy. I feel like I finally am starting to break through the progress stall I’ve been growing increasingly frustrated with. And I think getting the proper injection dose actually worked to break through it. I’m feeling a lot better with my transition in general too. I won’t elaborate much here, but I’ve been coming out to a lot more people, and its been tentatively going about as well as I could ask. We’ll see what the future holds, but I’m excited about it.

[ijustneedwhump]

You’re Not Going Anywhere

Reki stirred on the futon again, sweat-drenched hair clinging to his forehead, his hoodie discarded somewhere hours ago. The sheets were twisted around his legs, and his breath came in uneven gasps. The fever had made him restless, but now there was something else brewing—agitation, panic.

Joe had been in the kitchen for less than five minutes when Cherry called out, “He’s moving again.”

Joe stormed back into the room, just in time to see Reki pushing himself upright with one shaking arm, the other bent awkwardly in its brace.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Joe muttered, rushing to his side. “Reki—stop. You’re not going anywhere.”

“I’m fine,” Reki rasped, blinking through the haze. “I need to—*I have to go back—*there’s stuff to do—”

“You’re not doing anything but laying down.” Joe pressed him firmly back into the pillows. They were cool against his burning skin.

Reki growled low in his throat and shoved Joe’s arm away with his good hand. “Let go!”

Cherry leaned in from the corner, unamused. “Reki, your fever is still over 102. If you tear those bandages again, I swear—”

“You don’t need to do this!” Reki shouted hoarsely, glaring up with fever-bright eyes. “You shouldn’t have even come for me. I don’t need—”

“You don’t get to decide that right now,” Joe snapped, voice dangerously low. He gripped Reki’s shoulder as gently as he could manage. “You’re not thinking clearly. You’ve got three busted ribs, a sprained wrist, and a fever high enough to boil your brain.”

Reki tried to sit up again, snarling through the pain. “This is nothing I haven’t dealt with before!”

“Yeah?” Joe shoved him back down again. “Well, not on my watch, you’re not.”

Cherry knelt beside them, reading his pulse. “He’s agitated. We should’ve expected this. He’s burning up and fighting like it’s a war.”

“Because it is.” Reki’s voice cracked. “I’ve always had to fight on my own.”

Joe exhaled sharply, voice softening. “Not anymore.”

Reki’s glare didn’t fade. “I don’t want your pity.”

“It’s not pity,” Joe said, exchanging a glance with Cherry. “It’s care. Deal with it.”

Reki shoved at him again, weaker this time. “I don’t need help—”

That’s when Shadow appeared silently in the doorway, arms crossed, watching. “Reki,” he said evenly, “You’re not doing this again. We found you half-dead because you didn’t tell anyone. You don’t get to do that twice.”

Joe reached into a nearby drawer and pulled out a small vial and syringe.

“Joe?” Reki’s eyes widened as realization dawned. “What are you—don’t—!”

Joe’s grip was firm, but gentle, one hand bracing Reki’s arm. “Just something to help you rest, alright? I’m not letting you destroy your own recovery.”

“I swear—if you inject me—” Reki struggled violently, kicking with what little strength he had left.

“You can fight all you want,” Joe muttered, pressing the needle in and depressing the syringe, “but the result will still be the same.”

“W-what—no—” Reki’s words slurred as the sedative took hold, panic fading into confusion. “What did you…?”

“You need to sleep, Reki,” Cherry murmured from his side. “You’re burning up. Let yourself rest.”

Reki tried to sit up again, fumbling with the sheets, body trembling like a leaf in the wind. “I’m fine… I’m fine, let me go—”

“You’re not fine,” Joe caught him, again, as he slumped forward with the last of his resistance.

He laid him back gently, brushing damp strands of hair from Reki’s eyes. “You’ve done enough. It’s our turn now.”

Reki’s limbs twitched weakly. “No… stop…”

His head lolled to the side. His breathing slowed.

Joe stood slowly, hands shaking more than he wanted to admit. Cherry already had a cool cloth ready. Shadow moved forward with quiet steps, kneeling beside the futon.

“I’ll keep watch,” he murmured.

Joe hesitated for a long moment, then walked over to a nearby drawer and pulled out soft cloth restraints. He looked away in shame as he began gently securing them to Reki’s wrists and ankles—just enough to keep him from hurting himself again in his sleep.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “It’s for your own good.”

Cherry placed the cool cloth across Reki’s forehead and eyes, then sat back with a sigh. “You think he’ll hate us for this?”

“No,” Joe said quietly. “He’ll understand… once he sees we never left.”

Shadow reached out and gently adjusted the blanket over Reki’s chest. “He’s never had people like us before. He’ll get used to it.”

And in the silence of the dim room, with the sound of rain beginning to tap against the windows, Reki finally rested—safe, surrounded, and no longer fighting alone.

Sk8 Sk8 Sk8 Sk8

Reki woke to the smell of grilled fish and the sound of quiet conversation drifting in from the kitchen. The cool weight of the cloth over his forehead was gone, replaced by a thin sheen of sweat. He blinked groggily, confusion setting in as he tried to move—and felt a tug on his wrist.

His eyes shot wide.

Restraints.

“What the hell…?” he muttered, tugging harder. His heart spiked. His body ached. Panic crawled up his spine.

He kicked weakly, but his legs didn’t get far. Soft fabric, tied but secure. “Let me up!”

Joe entered the room, unhurried but watchful, holding a bowl of soup.

“I knew you’d wake up fighting,” he said, calm as ever. “You were burning up, Reki. Tried to launch yourself out of bed—twice. We didn’t want you reopening your ribs.”

“This is insane,” Reki snapped, voice hoarse and cracking. “Untie me!”

“You’re still recovering,” Joe replied, placing the bowl on the table. “If I let you go, you’ll bolt and land on your face.”

“I’m not a prisoner!”

“No. You’re family,” Cherry said, appearing in the doorway with folded towels. “And we’re keeping you alive, whether you like it or not.”

Reki turned his head, trying to hide the redness in his face. “I don’t want to be babied. I can take care of myself.”

“We know,” Joe said gently. “But maybe you shouldn’t have to all the time.”

That shut Reki up—just in time for the door to slide open again.

“Reki!”

Langa’s voice, sharp and full of worry.

Reki turned his head and froze.

There stood Langa and Miya, both still in their school uniforms. Miya was carrying a bouquet of awkwardly arranged carnations. Langa looked like he hadn’t slept.

Reki’s stomach twisted.

“Go away,” he muttered. “I’m fine.”

“You look like death,” Miya said bluntly, stepping forward.

Langa’s face crumpled. “Why didn’t you tell us you were hurt?”

“I didn’t want you to see me like this,” Reki whispered, eyes stinging. “So pathetic.”

“You’re not pathetic,” Langa said immediately, kneeling beside him. “You’re hurt. That doesn’t make you weak.”

“You don’t get it—”

“I do.” Langa touched his hand—his hand, not the restrained one. “Because when I was falling apart, you pulled me back together. Now it’s my turn.”

Reki turned away, breathing hard. “I don’t want your pity.”

“Good,” Miya muttered, dropping the flowers in a vase. “Because none of this is pity. It’s called caring, dumbass.”

There was silence, heavy and warm.

Eventually, Joe stepped forward and undid the restraints gently, fingers careful. “You’re calm now. And you’ve got backup.”

Reki didn’t move.

He didn’t run.

He just… breathed.

Sk8 Sk8 Sk8 Sk8

Later that night, long after Miya had gone home and Langa had fallen asleep sitting beside the futon, Reki whispered, “Joe?”

Joe looked up from the armchair in the corner.

“Yeah?”

“…I’m sorry.”

Joe stood and came to his side. “For what?”

“For making everything harder. For not saying anything. For—everything.”

Joe sat down beside him, folding his arms. “You’ve had to be strong for a long time, huh?”

Reki’s throat tightened.

“I thought if I wasn’t, people wouldn’t need me.”

“But we do need you,” Joe said softly. “Not for what you do, but for who you are.”

Reki bit his lip.

“You’re allowed to rest,” Joe added. “You’re allowed to fall apart. And we’ll still be here.”

Reki’s eyes filled. “It’s just… I’m tired.”

Joe leaned over and pulled him gently into a hug, mindful of his ribs.

“Then rest. You’ve earned it.”

Reki fell asleep, surrounded by warmth—Langa at his side, Joe nearby, Cherry reading in the corner, Shadow leaving another ridiculous bouquet at the door. He’s still healing, but no longer alone.

[wolferine]

Heart Eyes

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Summary: Set after my “Heart Skips a Beat” story, Natasha visits the reader after surgery. 

Warnings: Mentions of violence

Word count: 1261

Tags: @yeetus-thyself

AN: This is a one-shot stand alone and you do not have to read the previous story to understand this one! But you can if you want. :)

You’re the only one who needs surgery after the mission due to the extensive damage to your leg, so while the others return to their rooms to shower and change, Natasha stays by your side in the medical bay while the doctors make their preparations.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m getting kind of tired of this,” you say. It would be your second surgery in the span of less than ten days, a record even by Avengers’ standards.

“It’s all part of the job, right?” She smiles and holds your hand.

“I haven’t seen you on a hospital bed yet,” you tease, although that’s something you never want to see.

“Well, I know what I’m doing,” she says, laughing at your frown. “Besides, you know I couldn’t pull off one of these gowns like you do.” She reaches out and crinkles the sleeve of your unflattering paper gown between her fingers.

“I think I look a lot better without it,” you say with a wink.

“Can’t argue with that.” Natasha leans over and kisses you.

A nurse in blue scrubs come into the room with a massive syringe. “We’re all ready for you, Y/N,” he says.

“Please tell me you’re not sticking that in my butt,” you say, eyeing the obscenely long needle on the end.

“It’s supposed to go in your arm, but if you’d rather it go elsewhere…”

“No, no, my arm is fine.”

“Try not to give the doctors a hard time, okay? I’ll be right here when you’re done.” Natasha stands and puts her hand on your shoulder. The nurse comes to your other side and you offer him your arm. He pokes the needle through your skin and injects you with a double dose of anesthesia.

You feel the effects instantly. Your eyelids feel like they’re attached to sandbags and your anxious breathing steadies. You don’t even feel Natasha’s kiss to your forehead, your head rolling back on the pillows as the nurse wheels you out of the room.

***********************************************************************

After the surgery, the doctors return you to your hospital room to let you wake up naturally from the anesthesia. Unfortunately, the super soldier serum made it difficult for them to calculate an accurate dosage to keep you asleep during the surgery, so they pumped you with anesthesia until you were smelling colors.

Your entire right leg is wrapped in a cast and elevated in a sling. You’re still completely knocked out when Natasha comes back, cleaned up and changed out of her uniform.

“The surgery went very well,” the nurse tells Natasha. “It will be a while until the anesthesia fully wears off, so Y/N will probably be loopy in the beginning, but it’ll pass. You know how it goes.”

“I do,” Natasha says, although she is a little uncomfortable that you’re caught up in the medical bay so frequently and wishes you weren’t such a magnet for trouble. 

“Give me a call if you need anything, okay?” the nurse says.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He leaves to give you two some privacy.

Natasha pulls up a chair to wait in until you wake. She picks a magazine from your bedside table and opens it up.

About ten minutes later, your eyes flutter open and you gauge your surroundings blearily, having no idea where you are. The first thing you see is the gorgeous redhead with stunning green eyes sitting by your side, flipping through a magazine. Her hair is tied in a loose braid that rests across her left shoulder. She wears a gray short-sleeve shirt that fits her form nicely and a pair of jeans.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” she says. How she noticed you ogling at her without even looking at you blows your mind.

“Who…Who are you?” You tongue feels fat and floppy in your mouth.

Natasha grins when she realizes you’re so out of it you don’t even recognize her. She is tempted to record your reaction, but remembers she left her phone upstairs in your room. She puts the magazine down. “I’m Natasha,” she says, reaching for the water cup on your bedside and holding the straw to your lips.

“That’s a…pretty name,” you say, trying to direct the straw into your mouth and failing miserably. Natasha struggles to hold back a laugh but waits patiently for you to catch the straw and take a sip. “I’m…Y/N.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. How are you feeling?” she asks, setting the cup back on the table.

“I don’t…really feel anything,” you admit.

“Do you remember what happened?”

“Not really…”

“Someone broke your leg, so the doctors had to do surgery to make sure everything was set properly,” Natasha explains.

“Well, that was nice of them,” you slur. “Not the idiot who broke my leg, though.”

“He was taken care of,” she says.

“Good, good.” You close your eyes, already exhausted from the simple conversation. “Well, in case I fall back asleep again…I just wanted to say you that you are the most beautiful human being I have ever seen in my life. And I’ve seen…a lot of people.”

Natasha blushes scarlet and she laughs. “Aw, thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” you say. “Your parents should be…very proud.”

“I’d like to think they are,” Natasha says.

“Are you dating anyone?” you ask, opening your eyes again.

“I am.” She smiles.

“Aw.” You sigh. “The hot ones are always taken.”

“You’re not too bad-looking yourself,” she comments. 

“If you think I look good like this…” You look down at yourself, wondering where in the world your clothes went and why you’re wearing the equivalent of an artist’s smock, “…you should see me on a good day.”

“Maybe I’ll take you up on that.” Natasha’s eyes shine with amusement. 

“I don’t know if your partner would like that very much,” you say.

“Yeah, you’re probably right…” she trails off, fighting a laugh.

You can’t help yourself and reach out to touch her face, completely taken by her jawline that looks like it was sculpted by angels. Her skin is soft and flawless, and she lets you trace your thumb over the contour of her cheek. “You’re so pretty,” you whisper, in awe that someone could look so perfect. “I hope your partner takes good care of you.”

Natasha leans into your hand. “Very much,” she says.

“What do they do for a living?” you ask.

“What I do,” Natasha says.

“And what do you do?”

“I’m an Avenger.”

You try to whistle, but your lips are too numb and you end up spitting all over yourself. “Okay, that’s pretty hard to top,” you say, trying to wipe drool off your chin.

“I wouldn’t stress about it.”

You notice that she hasn’t stopped smiling at you. “Well, if you ever get bored and want to come hang out with me, I think I can show you a good time,” you offer. “We would definitely make a cute couple.”

“I don’t know about that, Y/N,” Natasha says, to your disappointment. Maybe you came on too strongly. “You might make your girlfriend jealous.” 

“Girlfriend? I have a girlfriend?” This is news to you. And now you feel guilty, trying to flirt with Natasha when you’re already committed to someone else.

“Yeah.” Natasha takes your hand into hers. “It’s me, you idiot.”

Your jaw drops as you try to process this. “I’m…an Avenger?”

“Mhmm.”

“And I’m dating you?”

“Yep.” She nods.

“Wow.” You grin. “Well, someone’s winning at life.”

“That makes two of us.” Natasha finally kisses you and you melt against her.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

AN: Ah, these two are so cute. Here is my taglist for future stories if you’re interested. I’ve got some good stuff coming, so hopefully you’ll stick around for those. Story fun fact time:

-This piece was inspired by a viral video of a woman flirting with her nurse while on anesthesia.  -Natasha “blushes scarlet” at one point in this story, which is obviously a reference to—okay, do I really need to say it?

Until next time!

[whumpypepsigal]

taking a wee break from the witcher to talk about a new obsession of mine.

i only watched “the rookie” for their whumpy episodes. but lately i found videos of chenford and as someone who isn’t a part of the fandom; i am… OBSESSED with tim bradford and lucy chen. their chemistry is off the chains wowza. tim is this handsome training officer who is stoic, hardass, brooding, mysterious background, complicated, always has to do stuff the right way, closed off emotionally, takes no nonsense kind of guy. he trains the rookie, lucy chen, who is this beautiful, smart, cute, bubbly, happy go-to and annoys the hell out of tim lmao. he is so harsh on her while training her and makes her go through several difficult tests appropriately named “the tim tests”. but ever since he rescued lucy, lucy always managed to bring out his vulnerable side. tim is so protective of lucy and vice versa *smiles warmly*. i watched all of their compilation vids on YT and loved how he slowly opens up to chen and becomes vulnerable to show his emotions more.

in the recent episodes, they showed us a part of tim’s backstory. he is a survivor of child of abuse, done by the hands of his abusive father. still deals with the trauma. one instance, when his sister mentioned how hard their father was on tim and that he made him go through “tests” to make him “a man”, lucy makes a throwaway comment of the tests being like the “tim tests” he made her go through. and his face after that comment was of such heartbreak. like the man really thought he might be turning into his abusive father. tim struggled throughout the episode and when he finally faced his abusive father, tim was re-traumatized and lucy was there to comfort him. WHEN SHE HUGGED HIM AND SAID HE ISN’T LIKE HIS FATHER…THAT SCENE …GAVE ME PROPER WHUMPERFLIES I TELL YOU. HE LOOKED SO BROKEN.

for someone who never watched the show properly, i LOVE THEM. the slow burn is killing me tho. the show is in its fourth season already and the “will they/won’t they” game is till going lol. i think the writers want them to build a stronger friendship relation before getting them together or sth? i don’t know. all i know is, they are meant to be together. they are endgame. period.

LOOK. AT. THEM! INJECT THIS DIRECTLY INTO MY VEINS. MY CHEST IS THROBBING. THIS IS MY MEDICINE *chuckles warmly*

sorry this is such a long post, just had to pour out my thoughts. anyone else in this fandom? please share more info of these characters. would love to know more haha. and if anyone know any whump fanfics of tim pleeeeeeease send it to me. the man doesn’t get whumped enough in this show sigh.

in the meantime, i am about to post the gifs from the scene I just mentioned above. the emotional whump is just 🤌💯😋

[space-helen]

Back to Vegas - Chapter 6

Words: 2330

Pairing: Nick Stokes x Reader

A/N: Warning for Suicide and Violence. Low key inspired by the ending of Prisoners (2012)

CH1     CH2      CH3     CH4    CH5   CH6   CH7  CH8

_______________________________

Your lungs heaved as you made it into the breakout room. Standing by the door you gave Greg a smile as Nick came in behind you. The two of you had run slightly late and it was a miracle that you’d come in in time.

“Now that everyone’s here.” Greg clapped his hands together “We should get a move on. We have a Warrant for Hannah’s property and Sara and I went in there yesterday. We found some stuff that definitely connects her to the case. Grissom and Catherine started to make stronger connections with what we found and Nick and Y/N really helped look at the evidence all again objectively.” he paused “We’re pretty confident Hannah did this, we have a lead which says she’s been hiring a warehouse just outside of Vegas so we’ll be going there. Nick, Catherine and Sara you come with me to the warehouse. Grissom and Y/N hold down the fort here and start processing some more of the stuff we pulled from Hannah’s house.”

“This isn’t very like Hannah. We all should be extra careful.” Sara spoke up “She’s usually very clever in what she does but it looks like she’s gotten lazy. There has to be a reason for that.”

Greg agreed “Keep your eyes peeled. Alright, those coming with me lets go.” He was soon leaving the room and everyone on his team for the outing soon followed. Nick wrapped his arm around you for a very brief embrace as he left the room and pecked you on the forehead.

“I’d offer you a coffee but if the others are starting right now we should too.”

You smiled at Grissom “That’s fine by me. Lead the way.”

The man smirked and led you to the room he and Catherine had been working in.

The two of you began to work and it didn’t take long for Grissom to get a call. Excusing himself from the room you continued to fingerprint the case of vials found at Hannah’s place as you waited for his return.

“How do you fancy getting away from the lab for a little bit?”

“Sure.” you smiled as you stood up.

“Greg and Sara want you to do another quick sweep of the property to look for anything else, they also want you to pick up Sara’s kit because she left it there. One of them will come over to help you after the warehouse. I’ll stay here and continue processing this” he gestured at the items in front of him

You nodded and took down the address from Grissom. “I’ve printed the vials. They just need to be run through the system now.” 

“Have fun.”

“I will.” you smiled as you made your way out to one of the work vehicles.

The drive wasn’t bad and actually went by quickly. You’d never been to this part of Vegas yet and it didn’t look half bad. The neighbourhood looked friendly yet sparse. Hopping out of your vehicle nothing seemed out of the ordinary, it was quiet and no one was around. The door was locked and had tape over to show that no one had entered. 

You brought out your knife and cut down the tape to let yourself in. Spotting Sara’s kit you picked it up and left the door open as you returned it to the trunk of your vehicle.

Entering the house again you slowly took steps inside and felt the eeriness around you. It was deadly silent yet you felt like you could hear static and like you weren’t alone. “Hello?” you called out into the space.

You felt your phone vibrate in your pocket so you slipped it out to read the text, you smiled when you saw it was from Nick. ‘She wasn’t at the warehouse. Greg, Sara and Cath are going to process here and I’ll be over with you soon x’

‘How can Sara process without a kit?’ you replied quickly.

‘Sharing is caring… we had a backup one in the trunk.’

You laughed ‘See you soon. Love you x’

You put your phone away and continued to walk around the house. Placing your kit down in the living room doorway you walked through to the next room which was an open plan kitchen and dining room. It was sparse but a camera on a tripod connected to a laptop caught your eye. There were items strewn across the table including a kit similar to the one you’d just processed for fingerprints back at the lab.

Moving in front of the camera to look at the laptop screen you noticed an exact reflection of what was in front of the camera, a live feed. You turned and looked away from the laptop screen around the room. That’s when the alarm bells rung, this stuff must not have been here when Greg and Sara processed the scene otherwise it would be at the lab. Slowly reaching for your gun you felt a stabbing sensation in your neck. 

The gun was knocked from your grasp across the room and you struggled against the person who’d come behind you.

“Just give in to it. Give in. You won’t be able to stand much longer. Do yourself a favour.” a woman’s voice came

You continued to struggle and managed to break yourself away briefly to see the woman’s face but it was blurry and your vision was swimming. Whatever she’d injected into you was already taking effect.

“Hannah? What did you?” you brought your hand up to your neck “Potassium?” you were feeling tired and like your tongue was heavy,

“Yes I am and no. It’s a nice little drug cocktail I mustered up when I heard you open the front door.”

You looked at your gun on the floor and tried to dive for it but that was a big mistake, your vision was spotting and Hannah kicked the gun away from your hand and stood on it, before giving you a kick to the stomach which rolled you over. “You really had to ruin my afternoon arrangements huh?”

She walked over to the table “It was supposed to be a nice little recording session to explain everything and finally end it all and be re-united with my brother. But no.” she turned around with another syringe. “You had to ruin it and take the peace away.”

You tried to crawl away on the floor and sit up to get away but she was soon back over at your side pushing you down and moving your hair out of the way. “But what’s one more casualty?” She forcefully pushed your head down to the ground, pain emitted there instantly. “Unfortunately I have nothing here that’ll kill you quickly besides the gun and that’s well that’s really not my style.”

Nick’s voice calling your name made her stop for a second. You tried your best to scream his but you had no clue what ever came out, the first dose of whatever she’d injected in your system already wreaking havoc on you.

You tried to struggle against her and push her away but it was too later, the needle had broken your skin and you could feel her injecting the concoction. She leaned down close to your ear and continued to inject the solutions as she whispered “Pitty I didn’t get to do this to anyone that actually worked on my cases before, that would have been more satisfying.”

Nick had entered the room to see her over you and saw her pulling the needle out of you and your body going limp. “Put your hands up.” he drew his gun and sent an alert out on his walkie subtly.

“I said put your hands up.”

Hannah eventually moved away from you and stood. “You don’t have long. The clock’s ticking for her already.”

“What did you inject!” he shouted.

She gestured to the table “Your guess is as good as mine, a little bit of everything.”

Nick peered at you to see your eyes fluttering open and closed as your head rolled on the ground.

“Step away.” he called to Hannah. 

“I don’t think I will.” she approached the table and picked up another vial. “You know I was saving this for me but I don’t think that’d do the trick quick enough. You wouldn’t let me have the satisfaction of dying that way.” 

She turned away from Nick as he took a step forward towards you as Hannah was slowly creeping away from you. Before he could really react he saw Hannah dive for something on the floor and stand upright again.

She held your gun to her head “Tell her I said thanks for the gun, but then again I might get the chance before you if she doesn’t make it.”

“No!” Nick shouted as he began to move towards Hannah for the gun. A bang had Nick freezing freezing, she’d shot herself.

Nick turned away in shock and shouted down his walkie talkie before coming to you with tears in his eyes. “Y/N.” he shook you “Y/N. Wake up please.”

He could see your eyes rolling in your head and you tried to open them. “Nicky.” you mumbled.

“Yeah Honey?”

“I love you.” it came out thickly “Remember that.” your voice sounded tired.

“I know Baby I know.” tears were threatening now “I love you too. Just stay with me ok?” We’re going to get you to the hospital.” he brought his fingers to your neck to try and feel your pulse.

He knew he’s asked for medical assistance and an emergency team but he couldn’t wait around. He knew it would be quicker to drive you. Picking you up he moved as fast as he could with you out to the car he’d arrived in, placing you across the back seats he hopped in the driver's seat and drove as fast as he could towards the nearest hospital.

“Y/N. Talk to me Sweetheart.” he begged as he drove.

“Please” he looked in the rearview mirror to try and see you but he could only see you lying still with limp arms. “Please speak to me. Please” he pleaded, tears very much collecting in his eyes. “We’re nearly there Honey. Nearly there, stay with me now. You’re going to be ok.”

He pulled up right outside the emergency room of the hospital and called for help as loud as he could while he moved you out of the back. Carrying you inside he was met by a team of people rushing towards him with a bed. He lay you down gently and kept brushing your hair out of your face and taking in your features as he rolled off what had happened to the staff. 

“Please just save her.” he sobbed, the tears finally falling.

“We’ll try our best Mr Stokes but you’re going to have to wait here.” A tall nurse spoke

“You don’t understand. She means everything to me.”

“We understand. Please just sit down and call someone.” the Nurse tried to push him back from the moving bed.

Nick took your hand and placed a kiss on it as the tears streamed down his face and the team around you started prodding your skin with different needles to draw blood and inject other solutions into your system.

He entirely froze in place when he let go of your hand and it felt like his world came crashing down around him as you turned the corner and were out of his sight. 

Flopping in a chair he opened his phone to see missed calls from Greg and Grissom. Pressing some buttons with no real aim he realised he was dialling Greg, bringing his cellphone to his ear he heard the man calling his name.

“Greg?”

“Nick, what the hell is going on? It does not look good over here.”

“I’m at the hospital with Y/N.”

“I guessed as much. Is everything ok? The EMT’s arrived at the same time Sara, Catherine and I did.”

“She might not make it.” Nick tried to hold back his tears but the hurt and sadness was very much still in his voice. “Hannah-” he was cut off by some tears falling and he tried to compose himself to continue to Greg “Hannah attacked Y/N and injected her with God only knows what. I couldn’t wait.”

“Alright. Alright.” Greg’s tone had softened now and was less urgent. “You keep your mind on Y/N we’ll sort this out. I think Grissom was on his way to you. Look after her ok?”

“Yeah” his voice was wobbly and he brought his hand up to his eyes “I’ll keep you updated.”

Hanging up he leant all the way forward, crossed his arms over his lap and rested his head there and let out some more sobs. The uncertainty was killing him. He couldn’t bear to lose you.

He looked up when he heard someone walking down the corridor to him. He was only now realising that he’d picked a really quiet spot to sit down.

Nick was immediately on his feet as soon as he saw who it was, his phone fell on the floor but he didn’t care. He took a couple of steps forward and opened his arms to embrace the older man who had been a father figure to him for many years. 

“Pancho.” Grissom spoke sadly as he cradled Nick’s head and allowed him to cry.

“I can’t lose her.” Nick choked out.

“I know Nick, I know.” the man gently pulled away to see Nicks red eyes and tear tracks down his face. “Let's get you some water.”

Nick picked up his phone from the floor and allowed Grissom to lead the way. Grissom knew how much you meant to him and all he could do right now was be a shoulder to cry on because no one knew what the future held.

Next Chapter

Tag List: (open)

Nick Stokes: @wanniiieeee  @pumpkinfriend

CSI:

[aureallegories]

Day 22: Spiders

As promised context for this new au I've decided to call the Venom MK au

(as poorly detailed and self indulgent as it is)

The basics of this au if you couldn't tell from the hype art is spicynoodles and corrupted MK So basically it's the special but if everything went wrong and MK was dating Red Son at the time

(let's also just pretend LBD isn't a problem)

So at some point in between Wukong getting captured and MK making it to the others on the boat one of those spider robots gets to MK, this one is a bit different though instead of latching onto him and making him mindless this one just straight up launches itself at him and stabs him straight in the back. Injecting all of the venom into his system before powering down and exploding. MK has a bit of a struggle for a bit which is understandable after something just impaled you and injected you with mind numbing poison that's now overriding your thoughts. Before ultimately the MK we know kind of sinks away underneath everything so he's in a very much Syntax like situation where rather than mind control he's actually been turned into a spider demon.

After screaming in pain for a bit before succumbing to the effects of the venom, "Venom MK" grabs the staff, which, in his struggle he had attempted to throw away so once he was corrupted he couldn't use it. Obviously it failed though because he mindlessly picks it up and starts pogoing off to go find Spider Queen.

On the other side of things, Red Son has watched DBK get captured and fought of that robot and gotten the venom along with the plan to get some help from MK who Red Son has been secretly dating for a while now and his crew. However, when Red Son finally has his crash landing on the ship he notices the distinct lack of a certain chatty happy go lucky Noodle Boy. This leads to Mei revealing that while he was in that post getting stabbed struggle MK had left her a voicemail. It's literally a recording of him struggling to say that he won't be joining them before the message is cut off by his pained screaming. Realization hits everyone that MK has been infected and while Sandy, Tang, Pigsy, and Mei are all understandably upset Mei is the only one who understands why Red Son looks equally disturbed seeing as she was the only one who knew Red and MK were dating.

Back to MK, the boy ain't doing so hot. After suggesting that the should capture both Red Son and MK Huntsman delivers the dramatic line of "oh don't worry, the monkie kid won't be an issue." Before stepping aside to reveal a very edgy looking MK with eerie glowing green eyes and a dead look on his face. And Spider Queen is very happy with this news and promptly shows off her new subject to Wukong who is very much less than pleased to see his kid turned into an emotionless shell. And purely for tension and angst purposes she reveals to DBK and Monkey King MK and Red's little secret.

Better yet just for the fun of it in front of the two dads who are already confused as to the whole "my kid is dating your kid?" She assigns MK his own personal task. Killing and or capturing Red Son before he can finish the antidote.

Into description Venom MK actually takes a while to develop a personality in this au but when he does dear lord it's Red Son's funeral. See the thing is Venom MK doesn't actually... Remember any of his friends. Like sure he knows who they are, they're his targets who seem to recognize him as their "corrupt friend" so he just plays the part. Mockingly calling Red "Hot Stuff" or babe but he doesn't actually have the emotion towards Red Son or anyone else unless he gets one of those weird flashes that seem to come from that little voice in his head he's been trying desperately to kill off and smother.

There's a lot more to this au I have laid out but this already feels to long so if you want to know anything or have any questions or requests, please I am begging you to ask me something.

[sleepybabyxo]

Hospital gowns: bloody sheets pt 2

Fandom: Marvel

Character: Bucky barns

Word count: 1.4k

Tw: hospitals, mention of infection, blood and s/h. Mention of injection and needles. Fluff.

Concept: daddy Bucky takes you to the hospital to get you s/h looked at. It’s not good, it’s deep and painful. But your daddy is here for you no matter what and with him by your side you are stronger than ever.

You sit in the back of the car, paci between your lips and stuffie in your arms. Your daddy checking up on you every few minutes. “You doing okay little one?” “Stings” “I know princess, we are nearly there now, the doctors will make it’s all better” “S, scary” “your precious baby, it’s okay daddy is here”.

You pull up into the car park and Bucky unbuckles you seat belt and lifts you into his arms. You clutch your stuffie in your arms as you nuzzle you head into his neck. His scent was intoxicating, causing you to slip further into your little headspace. “Lub chu dada” “awhh, I love you to sweet pea”. As you get through the emergency room doors the lights burn your eyes. The loud beeps and general chatter of the busy emergency room. You whimper in fear as you arrive at the desk. “Why hello, how can I help?” “I hurted my leg” you mumble. “Awh, daddys clever girl” . “Okay let’s get you signed in and we will get someone to see you as soon as we can” “say thank you to the kind lady” “fank chu” you say shyly “you’re welcome Iittle one” she replies handing Bucky a form and a pen. “Let’s go sit down kiddo, can you walk little one?” “Mhm” he places you on the ground and you half-heartedly run towards the a big red cushioned seat. You scoot yourself on to the seat and stare lovingly at Bucky who is signing papers on the seat next to you.

You suddenly feel a sharpe pain, it starts to tingle and burn. You scream in pain. Your paci falls out of your mouth and on the floor. “Baby what is it?” “My leg is really hurting” you say between cries. Bucky slowly unwraps your bandage. Your leg is pulsing, each cut is raised, glowing red and oozing with green and yellow puss like blood. “Jesus doll, Doc we need help over here!!” The doctor runs over, “oh we need to get this sorted NOW.” The doctor grabs a wheelchair and Bucky places you lightly in it. You are in too much pain and panic to think about your dropped paci. And Bucky is too worried to notice. They rush you into a private room. The doctor call for a colleague. His colleague enters and stares at your leg in shock. “This need cleaning and she need a tetanus shot.” You hear the word shot and scream. “No No NO. Don’t like shot. Daddy make them stop. I wan go home!!” He grabs your hand. “Awh princess I know. But the doctors need to fix you up. It’s infected baby and if you don’t get a shot you could get really sick.” “Please dada don’t let them hurt me!” “It’s okay doll, it will only hurt for a second and it will help with the pain of your leg. Daddy is here and he will not leave your side” “wan paci” “where did you put it baby?” You start to panic. “I- l...” you burst into tears. “I lost it dada”. “It’s okay sweetie daddy will find it.” “Please don’t leave me” you cry harder. The doctors turns to Bucky, “it’s okay, I will get one of my nurses to look for it, where did she leave it.” “It must be in the waiting room” a few minutes later the nurse runs in with your paci, “did you clean it” the doctor asks her. “Yes doc” “thank chu pretty lady” “Awh you so sweet, your welcome love” your daddy hands it to you. “You’re a good girl”. “Okay we are going to give her a numbing shot so we can clean the area efficiently.” “Okay are you going to be a brave girl for the doctors?” “Mhm” you mumble. “Good girl, squeeze daddy’s hand”. You grab buckys hand and start to squeeze as the doctor give you the numbing shots. “All done” “see I knew you could be brave” you smile. “Now you will still feel this, but it won’t be as painful” he takes a wipe and cleans your leg, he can now see how deep the cuts are. And can see that a few will need gluing. The only thing stopping them from bleeding was the thick dried blood clotting the gash. “Sir can I speak to you outside?” “Is it okay if daddy talks to the nice doctor outside sweet pea?” “Okay dada” he kisses your forehead and boops your nose with his finger. You let out a little giggle. “Good girl”

“Sir some of those cuts are rather deep, do you mind telling me how this happened?”, “well y/n suffers with quite a few issue and self harm is something she has done for awhile now. She was getting better but last night she had an episode. She told me she was too scared to wake me.” “Okay we are going to have to glue some of the cuts together to stop the bleeding.” “Yeah she is not going to like that, it’s okay I will convince her. Could you give us a few minutes alone?” “Of course, can we give her the shot first?” “Of course doctor” the two men re-enter the room. “Hey princess, the doctor is going to give you the shot now. Can you be a brave girl?” “Yes daddy” he smiles at you. “Good girl” you blush and hide you face. “Okay you ready for the shot y/n?” “I guess so” you turn away and squeeze your daddy’s hand. “All done” “wow that was fast, thank you” “your welcome little miss. I will leave you to alone for a few minutes” “thanks doc” Bucky replies.

“I am so so proud of you baby. You are such a good girl when we are done here we can go to the store and you can get some new stuff. Would you like that doll?” “Yes please daddy!” You kiss his chin. He lets out a little chuckle. “Now I have some news baby.” You tilt you head. “the doctor is going to have to glue some of the cuts to stop the bleeding. I know it sounds scary but it’s going to be okay, because you a brave little girl.” Tears form in your eyes. “Okay daddy, me scared but daddy will protect me” “that’s right baby daddy is here”. The doctor re-enters. “You all ready?” “Mhm” you reply. “Good let’s get started” you close your eyes and place your head in buckys lap. He strokes your head and reassuring you. “Your doing amazing baby” “daddy is here”. A few minutes go by Bucky still stoking your head and reassuring you. “All done, you did really well there missy” “thank chu. Am I fixeded now?” “Yep your all good to go. We are going to give you some medicine to help with the infection and we just need to bandage you up” the doctor wraps a clean bandage around you leg. And the nurse arrives with some pills. “Here you go. I heard you did really well. Your a brave little girl.” “Yes she is. Now it’s time to get you a little reward, isn’t it princess.” “Mhm” you say hiding you face. “Come I then kiddo. Make sure you thank the doctor and the kind nurse lady.” “Thank you for fixing me. And thank you for finding my paci!” “Awh your very welcome. If you have any issues just come back and see us” “okay thank you doctor” Bucky picks you up and placed you on his hip. “You got everything princess” “yep paci and stuffie” “good girl” he carries you out to the car and straps you in your seat.

“I am so so proud of you sweetie. You were so brave. You got THREE shots!! Like a big girl” you giggle. “Now reward time” you giggle again. “Yes baby girl” Bucky chuckle.

I just want to say thank you for the feedback on the first part. I’m am glad that people enjoy it. And I want to say I am so so proud of everyone little, middle, caregiver and anyone else who stumbles along this page who is struggling or has struggled with S/H it will get better and don’t let relapses disheartened you. I am proud no matter what. If you 1 day clean or 5 years clean. You are so brave. My message are always open if anyone needs to chat :)

[maxinaptak]

(AoT/ SNK) Key to Salvation: Eren X Abused!Reader

WARNING: REFRENCED NON-CON, FORCED DRUG USE

This is a rough one you guys. Proceed with caution.

You groaned as you rubbed the fairly fresh bruise on your shoulder, letting your head fall against the locker in front of you. The bruise on your shoulder wasn’t the only one you had; in fact, you had several more, both new and old, littering your body. You groaned again as you heard your best friend’s voice coming down the hallway. You lifted your head off your locker and pulled your sweater sleeve down your arm more, making sure it covered your bruise and the needle marks.

“________,” Eren called loudly, causing you to cringe lightly at his volume, “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in a few days.”

He stopped next to you and looked at you with such innocent turquoise eyes. Oh, how you loved those innocent eyes. You could never tell Eren about what was going on at home. You just couldn’t.

“I was sick, that’s all,” you lied, faking a smile up at the boy, “Just a little cold. I'm fine now though.”

It almost pained you physically to lie to him, but how could you tell him that you had spent the last three days being given drugs against your will in a dirty basement where dozens of men abused your strung out, limp body while your mother collected their payment.

“Well, I'm glad you’re feeling better!” Eren said, smiling brightly.

You smiled almost sadly and sighed. Eren was your sweet, caring best friend. He had been since you were both in diapers. Fifteen years of friendship and you still couldn’t tell him what was happening; couldn’t tell him that you need help, beg for his help.

“Eren, will you lower your voice? I can hear you all the way down the hallway.” Mikasa, Eren’s adopted sister, said, flicking the brunet in the ear.

“Ow!” He cried, cupping his assaulted ear.

She rolled her eyes and looked at you.

“Are you sure you’re feeling better ________,” Mikasa asked, frowning, “You look more tired than normal.”

You faked another smile and said, “Yep, just fine!”

In all reality, you were going through a nasty withdraw from the clonazepam and oxy your mother normally gave you. This last time, she decided to give you something else to sedate you through your ‘work’, something she injected several times into your veins over the days. You had a feeling that if anyone would notice something was off, it would be Mikasa.

The other girl didn’t look too convinced, but nodded anyway and said, “If you say so. It’s almost time for class to start, so we should get going. You too Eren. If you’re late again, mom will have your ass.”

The tall boy rolled his eyes and hugged you goodbye. You tried your hardest to hide your pained flinch as he squeezed you tightly, but you knew Mikasa had seen it. Once he left, Mikasa set her hard gaze on you again.

“I saw that,” she said, crossing her arms, “What was that about?”

“Ok, so I may have hurt my back trying a new yoga pose yesterday. But I wasn’t gonna tell him that.” You said, jutting your thumb in the direction Eren had left in.

It wasn’t a total lie this time. Your back did hurt, but it sure as hell wasn’t from doing yoga. Your slightly older friend rolled her eyes and turned to head to your first hour class. You quickly ran after her, trying your best not to limp. You reached your AP Psychology class and took your seats. Your teacher had the desks in clusters of six or seven seats and you two got lucky enough to be put with your friends.

“Hey guys.” You said, plopping your book down onto your desk.

Krista, Ymir, Sascha, and Max all smiled back and greeted you both. You made small talk for a few minutes before the bell rang, signaling the start of the school day. You turned your attention to your teacher, Mr. O’Neil, and swallowed hard when you saw what he was writing on the board.

Drug Addiction: The effects, the signs, and withdrawal symptoms.

‘Fuck my life with a cactus….’ You thought, slowly sliding down in your seat a little.

You prayed to whatever god there may be (though you didn’t really believe that there was one anymore) that none of your friends, especially Mikasa, would notice that you were exhibiting some of the signs and symptoms.

You had managed to make it through the class with your teeth clenched and practically sprinted out of the room when it was over. You made it to your economics class in record time and slumped into your seat, letting your head slam down on your desk.

“Damn kid, rough morning?”

You slowly raised your head to look at your student teacher, Levi Ackerman. Apparently, he was a distant cousin to Mikasa, but she didn’t really know him.

“Rough couple of days.” You admitted, voice flat and eyes dull.

The short male regarded you carefully, as he had taken note that you had been absent for the past three days and went to his bag.

“Alright kiddo, I’ve got some dark chocolate and a Red Machine Naked Juice,” he said, placing said items on your desk in front of you, “You look like you’ve been through some shit, and you need these more than I do. Besides, it looks like you’ve lost a shit ton of weight since the semester started.”

Your face flushed bright red. You didn’t think Mr. Ackerman paid that much attention to any of his students, let alone you.

“T-thanks Mr. Ackerman….” You said, opening the chocolate bar and taking a small bite.

“No problem kid.” He said, turning to go back to his desk, but stopping.

He hesitated for a moment before turning back to you and crouching down next to you.

He waited for you to meet his gaze and quietly said, “________, you can come to me if you need to talk or if you need help, ok?”

You stared at him in shock and slowly nodded. You’d never heard him speak like that and it almost freaked you out. He nodded at you and returned to his desk. You let your eyes fall onto your desk and stared at it blankly.

“________?”

You jumped and whipped around to see Eren setting his stuff down on the desk next to you.

“What was that all about?” He asked, discreetly nodding his head in your teacher’s direction.

You swallowed hard and stumbled over your words as you tried to reply.

“N-nothing,” you said, averting your eyes from his, “He was just telling me that I looked like crap and needed to eat something, so he gave me this, that’s all.”

You quickly grabbed the bottle of juice and tried to open it, but struggled. You knew you had been having a bit of a hard time doing normal things, but never had you struggled to open a beverage bottle. You frowned and stopped trying to open the juice.

“Here, I got it,” Eren said, taking the bottle from you and cracking it open easily with his large hands, “I'm kinda shocked he’d be nice enough to give you something, but you should drink this. It’ll help you feel better.”

He carefully put the bottle back into your hand and you weakly smiled at him. You took a long drink from the juice and sighed, satisfied by the taste. Soon the room was full and the bell rang, class starting.

Levi’s eyes scanned over his students as they worked on the small packet he had given them to complete before the end of class. He heard a snore from beside him and looked at the teacher he was supposed to be shadowing, Dot Pixis, and rolled his eyes when he saw him asleep again. How that man became a teacher was beyond him. He heard footsteps approaching his desk and turned his attention forward again.

“Eren and I are finished with the packet.” ________ said, holding out two packets.

“As always, finished before anyone else. The brat is lucky you partner with him every time.” Levi said, shaking his head and reaching out for the papers.

As ________ pulled her hand away, she accidently knocked over the cup of pens and pencils on the desk.

“Shit, sorry Mr. Ackerman. I’ll take care of it.” She said, crouching down quickly.

“It’s fine, kid, don’t worry about it.” He said, looking over the side of his desk at her.

His eyes widened as the left sleeve of her sweater raised up, revealing a bruise vaguely shaped like a handprint and several track marks on her upper forearm. He froze, not knowing what to do as he watched her quickly pick up the scattered writing utensils and put them back into the cup. He swallowed hard and tried to formulate words, say anything to her, but he couldn’t manage it, too shocked. She smiled smally at him before going back to her desk. His eyes followed her and jumped over to Eren, her best friend. If he couldn’t talk to ________ directly, he sure as hell could talk to the brat.

“Jaeger, see me after class.” He said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Eren groaned loudly.

“What the fuck did I do this time?” Eren practically whined.

He dramatically draped himself over where your desks were pushed together, making you breathe out a laugh.

“I don’t know, but this happens at least once a week and you know it.” You said, petting his shoulder length hair.

He sighed deeply and peeked up at you with his beautiful turquoise eyes, pouting. You stared at him and couldn’t help but smile lovingly at him. You’d never told anyone, but you’d been in love with the tall boy since you were eleven and he was twelve. He’d always been there for you, doing everything he could to make you laugh and smile. Usually, he’d drag Armin into his antics too, but it was all in good fun and you all laughed together.

“Your hair’s get long,” you murmured, playing with the little bun that was tied at the base of his skull, “Are you gonna cut it?”

Eren hummed and said, “Nah, I kinda like it like this. What do you think about it? Does it look bad?”

You shook your head and said, “No, I like it. I think it looks really good on you.”

“Then I’m definitely keeping it long.” He said, smiling up at you.

You smiled back and continued to talk to him for the rest of class. When the bell rang, you gathered your things and gave Eren a sympathetic look.

“I’ll see you later Eren. Have fun with Mr. A.” You said, waving.

“Yeah,” he groaned, standing up, “Have fun in anatomy with Armin. Embarrass him for me, would ya?”

“Sure! I’ve got a good dirty joke or two that I haven’t told in front of him yet.” You said, grinning.

Eren sighed and picked up his bag before walking up to Levi’s desk.

“You wanted to see me sir?” He asked, shoulders slumped.

Levi nodded and said, “Yes. What class do you have next?”

Eren was confused but answered, “German. Why?”

“Are you doing well in that class?” Levi asked.

“I’ve been speaking German since I was born basically,” Eren said, still confused as all hell, “My dad’s family lives in Germany, and my grandparents don’t speak English very well. I only took the class so I could get an easy A…. Why do you ask?”

Levi stood from his desk and motioned for Eren to follow him as he said, “I wanted to make sure it wouldn’t be a problem if you missed part of the class. I need to speak to you, but somewhere private.”

Eren was beyond confused now but followed his teacher anyway. The shorter man always seemed rather serious, but this time, he seemed deadly serious about whatever it was. He followed Levi to one of the biology labs and went inside.

“Hanji, I need to borrow your lab for a little bit,” Levi said, addressing one of the other student teachers he was friends with, “I need to speak to Eren alone.”

The crazy science teacher looked up from her notes and said, “Oh! Ok, sure! Just let me know when you’re done!”

She quickly left the room and closed the door behind her. Levi sat down and motioned for Eren to do the same. The younger boy did, facing his teacher.

“What’s going on Mr. Ackerman?” Eren asked, frowning.

Levi took a deep breath and said, “I need to talk to you about ________.”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed and he asked, “________? What about her?”

“Something’s going on with her. Has she said anything to you?” He asked.

Eren thought for a moment before shaking his head as he said, “I mean, she said that she had a cold and that’s why she wasn’t at school the last few days. Other than that, no.”

Levi nodded and thought for a moment before he asked, “Eren, you’re her best friend, right?”

The brunet nodded.

“Do you pay close attention to her? The way she looks, the way she acts?”

Eren blinked a few times before shyly nodding his head.

“Then have you noticed that she’s lost quite a bit of weight since the semester started?” Levi asked.

Eren nodded again and said, “I tried to ask her about it once, but she got really upset about it and snapped at me, so I didn’t say anything after that. But I noticed that she was losing more and more weight as the weeks went on. And every few weeks she looks really sick and upset, but she won’t talk to me about it….”

Levi sighed deeply again and said, “Eren, I saw something on her arm today, in class when she was picking up the pens. That’s why I asked you to stay after.”

“What was on her arm?” Eren asked, worried and confused at the same time.

“There was a large bruise that looked like a handprint. And she had several… track marks on her forearm.” Levi said, letting his own shoulders drop in sadness.

“What are track marks?” Eren asked, still confused.

Levi looked up at Eren and said, “Needle marks, Eren. From using drugs.”

Eren’s eyes widened.

“Drugs?! No way! ________ would never!” Eren said, denial evident in his voice.

Levi sighed again and said, “Eren I know what track marks look like. It’s no secret that I grew up on the streets. A lot of people I ran with did drugs back then. I know what I saw.”

Eren’s heart dropped into his stomach, knowing that his teacher couldn’t be wrong. He thought back over the months and remembered seeing ________’s forearms and elbow crooks all the time. There were never any needle marks before. Bruises, sure, but ________ was clumsy.

“I-it must be new…,” he said, looking down at his hands, “She’s never had needle marks on her arms before….”

“What about the bruises?” Levi asked.

Eren shrugged and said, “She’s always had a few bruises here and there, ever since we were kids. She’s clumsy as hell, always has been. And she bruises easily because she’s anemic.”

“Has she always been anemic?”

Eren shook his head and said, “No…. It started around the time we started high school. That’s also when she started to look sick and upset every few weeks…. And her weight started fluctuating and her eating habits changed too….”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed again and he started to get more upset, thinking about how something was wrong with his best friend, the girl he was in love with, and he didn’t even realize, even though he saw everything.

“I should have known something was wrong….” Eren whispered, clenching his fists.

“Eren, it’s not your fault. You guys are kids still. It’s not your job to watch every little detail about her.” Levi said, trying to make the teen feel less guilty.

“But I love her,” Eren almost cried, a desperate look on his face, “I have been watching every detail about her for years! I should have known!”

Eren hung his head and let out a shaky breath, resting his head in his hands. Levi looked at his student sadly. He knew that the boy was in love with ________; it was pretty obvious, at least to him. And he could see that ________ loved him back. It was beyond him why the two hadn’t began dating yet, but that was beside the point at the moment.

“Now you know something’s up with her. Use the information you have now and talk to her.” Levi said, putting a hand on Eren’s shoulder.

The younger male looked up at his teacher and sighed, nodding.

Levi nodded back and said, “Alright. Now come on. I’ll write you a note to excuse you for missing class.”

Eren nodded again and sadly trailed behind his teacher. He got his note and trudged to his German class. He gave the note to Herr Ham and took his seat in the back of the classroom, spacing out. It didn’t matter if her paid attention or not. His teacher was horrible and taught in a ridiculous way that confused most students. The only reason he was top of the class was because he’s a native speaker. All he could think about was ________. He would see her again fifth hour for lunch and he didn’t know how he could face her without saying anything. He didn’t want to talk to her in front of their friends. He sighed and rested his head on his arms on his desk.

“For fuck’s sake….” You muttered, sitting back on your legs.

You were currently on your knees in a bathroom stall, retching into the toilet every so often. It didn’t surprise you that this was happening; you were going through oxycodone withdrawal after all. Nausea and vomiting were normal. You’d gone through this a few times before, but never this badly. You wondered if whatever drug your mother gave you the last few days was making it worse this time around.

“Oh god,” you groaned, feeling bile rise in your throat again, “Not again…!”

You heaved into the toilet again, hot tears running down your cheeks. All you had had to eat that day was what Mr. Ackerman had given you during econ, and there was no way any of it still resided in your stomach. All you could taste was stomach acid, your throat burning. You checked the time on your phone and sighed. Fifth period was almost over and you knew Eren would be worried that you weren’t there. You tried to get up and leave a few times, but it was obvious that your body wasn’t done. You shakily unlocked your phone and typed out a choppy text to Eren.

Eren frowned as he arrived at his normal lunch table. Armin and Max were sitting together, holding hands and feeding each other like normal; Mikasa and Annie were sitting across from each other, glaring at each other with an awkward sexual tension between them, like normal; and Jean and Marco were holding hands and eating quietly, like normal. What was not like normal, was the fact that ________ was missing. Eren was always the last one to arrive at the table and ________ was always sitting in one of the two open seats left at the table when he got there.

“Has anyone seen ________?” He asked, sitting down.

Max swallowed a strawberry Armin had fed her and said, “Not since third hour.”

“I saw her heading towards the cafeteria on my way here,” Marco said, frowning slightly, “But then she ran into the bathroom. I haven’t seen her since.”

Eren frowned deeply and stared down at his food. He sighed and ultimately started to pick at his food, eventually shoveling it into his mouth quickly as his dumb teenage body demanded him to. Near the end of the hour, his phone vibrated. He fished it out of his pocket and looked at it. It was a text from ________.

Felt sick, stuck in bathroom. Sorry. See you later.

Eren frowned again and sighed.

“What’s wrong Eren?” Mikasa asked, finally breaking her gaze away from her (not so secret) secret girlfriend.

“________ texted me. She said she was feeling sick and was stuck in the bathroom.” Eren said, shoulders slumping.

Max frowned and said, “I can go check on her if you’re really worried.”

Eren looked up at the red-haired girl gratefully and said, “Yes, please.”

She smiled and nodded. She leaned over to Armin and gave him several quick kisses before getting up and leaving the cafeteria.

“________?”

You jumped as you heard someone call your name. You knew that voice; it was your friend Max.

“M-Max?” You choked out, coughing.

You heard her run to the large stall you were in and try the door.

“________, are you ok? Eren said you were sick and you don’t sound good at all!” She said, voice full of concern.

You weakly moved to open the door to let her in before going back to slumping against the wall. She quickly came in and dropped to her knees in front of you.

“Oh my god, hon, are you ok?” She asked, gently putting her hands on your arms.

You sighed as more tears slipped from your eyes and shook your head as you breathed, “No…. I’ve been throwing up all hour….”

“Oh no, ________...,” Max said, looking at you sadly, “You need to go to the nurse and go home!”

You sighed again and said, “My mom won’t come get me….”

“I’ll take you home. They’ve let me do it for Armin before, and he wasn’t nearly this sick.” Max said, pulling her phone out.

She called Armin and asked for him to come to the bathroom and help. She hung up and pocketed her phone before gently stroking your (h/c) hair.

A minute later the door to the bathroom opened and you heard Armin call out, “Max, ________? Is there anyone else in there or can we come in?”

“It’s just us, come in.” Max called back.

Soon Armin was in the doorway of the stall, Eren behind him. Eren quickly pushed his way past him and gently scooped you up into his arms. Armin grabbed your backpack and followed you out of the bathroom. A security guard saw you being carried out of the bathroom by Eren and Armin following behind and asked what was going on.

“Our friend got really sick and needs to go to the nurse, but she couldn’t walk. I couldn’t carry her on my own, so I asked them to come and help.” Max explained, giving the older man puppy dog eyes.

The security guard was a little flustered by the look she was giving him and he let you guys go. You giggled a little, knowing your friend would use her incredibly seductive puppy dog eyes to get you out of any trouble. Armin may not like it, but you thought it was hilarious. Your little group made its way to the nurse’s office and Max explained the situation to the woman. Taking one look at you, the nurse gave Max permission to drive you home. She called the office and asked for a teacher to escort you out so you wouldn’t get in trouble. You were a little surprised to see Mr. Ackerman walk into the room, concern written all over his usually stoic face.

“I knew you were feeling sick this morning, but I didn’t know it was this bad.” He said, frowning.

You looked down shyly and shrugged your shoulders as best you could in Eren’s arms. Your group, now escorted by your teacher, made its way outside to Max’s car. Eren carefully placed you in the passenger seat and handed you a plastic bag for ‘just in case’. Armin put your bag in the backseat along with Max’s and kissed the girl before she got in. The three males stepped back and your friend pulled out of the parking spot. She drove carefully to your house and parked in your driveway.

“Do you need help inside?” She asked, turning to look at you.

You hesitated, not know if you really wanted to bother her anymore.

“You know what, don’t answer,” she said, unbuckling her seatbelt, “I’m helping you to as least the front door.”

She got out of the car and you sighed, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Your door opened and Max helped you out of the car. She grabbed your bag from the back. She took your arm and helped you slowly walk to the door. You unlocked it and stepped inside, taking your bag from your friend.

“Thank you.” You said, smiling at your friend.

She smiled back and said, “Anytime. And if you’re not feeling better by Saturday morning, one of us is taking you to the doctor.”

You opened your mouth to say no but you didn’t get a chance.

“No arguments,” Max said, finality in her voice, “If you’re still this sick, you’re going to the doctor.”

You sighed in defeat and said, “Ok. Thanks for today. I’ll see you tomorrow. Hopefully.”

Max smiled at you sadly and nodded before getting back in her car and driving away, heading back to school. You closed the door and dragged your feet towards your room.

“What the fuck are you doing home?”

You silently groaned and turned to look at your mother.

“I got really sick.” You said, rubbing your face tiredly.

“That’s no excuse for you to come home.” The woman said, irritated.

You dully stared at her and said, “I was throwing up every few minutes all of fifth hour. It finally seems to have calmed down but I still feel like shit. My friends took me to the nurse and they made me go home.”

Your mother glared at you and said, “Well why the fuck are you sick anyway?”

You glared back and said, “I don’t know, maybe it’s because I'm going through serious withdrawal from the clonazepam and oxy. It’s been four days since you last shoved oxy down my throat and it’s hitting me hard as fuck this time.”

Your mother rolled her eyes and turned back to her magazine. You shook your head and made you way to your bedroom. You set your bag down by your desk before falling face down on your bed. Luckily, your bed was still sacred and safe. The only man that had ever been in your bed was Eren, and those times were never sexual. Only lazy weekend naps and scrolling through social media together, showing each other things you found funny. You sighed heavily again and wiggled your way under your covers, managing to fall asleep a little faster than normal due to how horrible you felt.

Max pulled back in to her parking spot at school and turned off her car. She sighed and stepped out, shocked to see the three males she’d left fifteen minutes ago standing in the same place.

“You guys waited here this whole time?” She asked, confused.

They nodded and Armin took her hand, leading her back into the school. Eren and Levi slowly trail behind them and spoke quietly.

“Did you get a chance to talk to her?” Levi asked.

Eren shook his head and said, “No…. She got sick before I even saw her….”

Levi nodded and they walked in silence. They’d figure out the best way to talk to her eventually.

You groaned as you rinsed your mouth out for the fourth time that morning. You hadn’t made it to school the day before and you were still sick. It was now Saturday, and you knew your phone would be ringing soon. One of your friends would be taking you to the doctor today, and you were dreading it. As if on cue, your phone began to ring. You sighed and walked into your room to pick it up.

“Hello?” You asked, answering without checking the caller ID.

“________, how are you feeling?” Eren’s voice came through.

“Oh, Eren…,” you said, not expecting him to call this early, “I-I’m… not doing so hot….”

You finally admitted to him that you weren’t alright. You sat on your bed and wrapped your free arm around your stomach.

“You’re still feeling sick?” Eren asked, a frown evident in his voice.

You sighed and answered, “Yeah. Honestly, I'm not feeling any better than I did at school the other day.”

“Alright, I’m taking you to the doctor,” Eren said, sounding like he was getting up, “Get ready, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

You were surprised, but said, “O-ok…! Um, I’ll be ready.”

He hung up with a quick goodbye and you stared down at your phone, blinking owlishly. You sighed again and set it down on your bed so you could get ready. You pulled on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt with your school’s mascot on it. You grabbed the hoodie that you had been wearing to bed, which actually belonged to Eren, and pulled it on, smiling at the way you drowned in the large garment. You pulled on a pair of slip-on boots and grabbed your small backpack purse. You grabbed your phone and made your way downstairs. Your mother was snoring loudly on the couch, an empty bottle of vodka still gripped in her hand that was hanging off the edge, resting on the floor. You rolled your eyes and leaned against the wall next to the window by the front door. A few minutes later, Eren’s beat up old car pulled into your driveway and you slipped out the door, locking it behind you. Eren met you halfway to the car and gently took your hand in one of his and braced your arm with the other, helping you to walk to the car. He opened your door and helped you in, even buckling your seatbelt for you.

“Thank you.” You said, smiling up at him.

He smiled back at you and carefully closed your door before going around the car and getting in the driver’s seat. He backed out of your driveway and took off down the street, heading towards downtown.

“Where are we going anyway,” you asked, biting your lip, “You know I don’t have insurance….”

He grinned over at you and said, “We’re going to my dad’s clinic. He said he’d see you free of charge.”

You smiled hearing that. Grisha Jaeger was a good man. Since your families had known each other since you and Eren were babies, you grew up seeing the man often. He was always kind to you, and you knew he was a good man since he took in Mikasa after her parents died when she and Eren were ten. He was the only father figure you had left since your dad died when you were eight. It was around that time that your mom started drinking and selling sex for money. When you turned fourteen, she realized that she could sell you instead and get even more money without her having to do anything. You sighed lightly as all of these thoughts swirled through your head, making it throb slightly.

“Hey, you good? Need me to roll the window down or something?” Eren asked, looking at you worriedly.

You smiled nervously at him and said, “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna throw up in your car. It’s passed for now at least. I was just kinda spacing out, that’s all.”

Eren nodded and said, “I’m glad you feel better now. And you throwing up in my car probably wouldn’t be the worst thing that’s happened in here. I’m pretty sure Jean and Marco fucked in the backseat that time we went camping last summer.”

“Oh my god, seriously?!” You asked, shocked and kind of amused.

Eren nodded and said, “I saw them sneaking back to the campsite from the parking lot and then my car smelled nasty the next morning. And Marco couldn’t look me in the eye for a week.”

You laughed harder than you had laughed in a long time at this, holding your stomach as it cramped lightly.

“Ow…,” you cried, tears of laughter streaming down your face, “It hurts! It’s so funny it hurts!”

You quickly pulled you phone out and dialed Jean’s number.

“Hello?”

“Jean, did you and Marco really fuck in Eren’s car last summer when we went camping?!” You asked, still laughing.

You could hear the horror in his voice as he said, “How did you find out about that?!”

You barked out another laugh and said, “Eren’s known about it since it happened! He saw you guys sneaking back to the campsite that night!”

Jean swore and hung up on you, causing you to laugh even harder. You put your phone back in your purse and leaned back in your seat, your laughter dying down.

“I can’t believe you called him.” Eren chuckled, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe he admitted it to me. Well, in a way.” You said, giggling again.

Eren rolled his eyes and pulled into the empty parking lot of his dad’s clinic.

He must have seen your confused look and said, “The clinic doesn’t open until 11 o’clock. Dad wanted me to bring you in early to make sure there was time to do a thorough exam and run any tests needed before any other patients were here.”

You nodded in understanding and bit your lip nervously. At least one of your secrets was about to come out and you were not ready for that. Your door opened and you jumped slightly, looking up to see Eren shaking his head at you. He leaned down and unbuckled your seatbelt for you. He took your hand and helped you out of the car. You expected him to let go of your hand, but he didn’t. Instead, he held onto your hand tightly and guided you to the back door of the clinic, unlocking it and opening it, leading you in.

“You have a key?” You asked.

He nodded and said, “I sometimes help dad out by coming in before or after hours and help clean and stuff.”

You nodded and looked around hesitantly, not ready for this.

“Dad, we’re here!” He called into the mostly dark clinic.

“Back here, room 3.” His father called back.

Eren lead you down two hallways to the only room with lights on. You saw Dr. Jaeger setting up several different things and you immediately froze. He must have noticed because gave you a gentle smile.

“Relax ________,” he said softly, “Eren told me that you haven’t been to a doctor in quite a while, so I figured we’d just do a full work up.”

You swallowed had and nodded, letting Eren lead you over to the exam table, helping you to sit on it. He smiled at you a little before letting go of your hand, turning to leave the room.

“W-wait…,” you said, reaching out and grabbing his arm, “Stay… please…?”

He blinked at you a few times before looking at his father and asked, “Is it alright if stay dad?”

“As long as she says it’s alright, then yes.” He answered, nodding.

Eren nodded as well and moved to stand next to the exam table. You didn’t look at him or his dad, instead, just staring down at your hands in your lap.

“Alright, let’s start with your height and weight.” Dr. Jaeger said, motioning for you to come over to the scale.

You slipped off the table and went over, letting him measure your height (A/N: anything shorter than 6 foot so you’re shorter than Eren). You couldn’t look at the little screen on the scale where the numbers would pop up, indicating your weight.

“94 lbs,” Dr. Jaeger said, frowning, “________, that’s extremely low.”

You swallowed hard and said, “I know…. I knew my weight was low but I didn’t know it was that low….”

You trudged back to the exam table and climbed back onto it, not meeting the eyes of either Jaeger. The older man came over and grabbed the blood pressure cuff.

“Can you take your sweater off please?” Dr. Jaeger asked.

You took a shuddering deep breath and slowly pulled off your hoodie. You shyly offered the doctor you left arm, looking anywhere but him. The room was silent as you felt both males staring at you.

“________, I’m going to ask you some questions, and I need you to be completely honest with me, do you understand?” Dr. Jaeger asked.

You nodded, pulling your arm back, wrapping both your arms around your body.

“Are you taking drugs?” He asked.

“Not willingly….” You answered quietly.

“Someone’s making you take them?”

You nodded again.

“Who?”

You swallowed hard and said, “My mom….”

You felt Eren’s eyes boring into the side of your head but you refused to look at him.

“What is she giving you?” Dr asked.

“Normally she gives me clonazepam and oxy when I… have to work…. But last time she injected me with something instead. I don’t know what it was though….” You said, bringing one hand up to bite on your nails.

Dr. Jaeger was quiet for a moment before he asked, “What kind of work do you do?”

You squeezed your eyes closed tightly and said, “Sex work….”

“What?!” Eren cried, making you cringe.

“Eren, calm down,” Grisha said, “Freaking out right now isn’t going to help her at all.”

“S-sorry….” Eren stuttered, gently taking your hand.

“Does your mother force you to do this work?” Dr asked.

You nodded and said, “Yes…. When my dad died, she couldn’t pay the bills anymore and started selling herself. When I turned fourteen, she realized that if she sold me, she could make twice the money without having to do anything herself. I struggled and fought at first, and she would always get mad and say that I was too loud and that we’d get caught. So, she started drugging me to get through the meetings. It started out with just the clonazepam, but somewhere along the way she added the oxy.

“It was only once every few weeks at first, but then she started taking me to that place every week. Now it’s at least three nights a week, for… well, I’m actually not sure how long were there for since I’m drugged the whole time…. After she started bringing me every week, my body got dependent on the drugs…. That’s how she controls me now…. I've been going through really bad withdrawal this whole week…. The last time I had either was Sunday night….”

Both Jaegers were quiet for a moment.

Dr. Jaeger sighed heavily and said, “________, because of what your mother has been forcing you to do, I’m going to have to ask you some difficult questions, alright?”

You nodded.

“Do you know how many men have… been with you?” He asked, sounding like he didn’t want to be asking you these questions, just as much as you didn’t want to be asked them.

“I’m not sure…. I’m drugged every time now…. But if I had to guess… probably at least 300, maybe 350….” You said, rubbing your arm in shame.

Another sigh came from the doctor and you could hear Eren breathing heavily.

“Do you know if protection was used?”

You sighed and said, “Mom never put me on birth control and from the number of times I woke up to… fluids dripping down my thighs I assume not.”

Sighs were heard from both males in the room and you finally looked up. Dr. Jaeger looked conflicted and Eren looked so sad and so angry at the same time.

“I’m sorry I never told you Eren,” you said, hesitantly gripping his sleeve, “I was so embarrassed and… I was scared that if anyone found out that I would get in trouble….”

Eren shook his head almost violently and said, “Don’t apologize! It’s not your fault she made you do that! I’m sorry that I never notice anything was going on!”

“It’s alright Eren. I did everything I could to make sure you didn’t know.” You said, shrugging.

You both fell silent and Dr. Jaeger cleared his throat. You turned your attention back to him.

“Given the information you’ve provided me, I’m afraid I need to perform a pelvic exam and take some swabs and samples to make sure you’re not seriously sick.” He said, looking at you apologetically.

You sighed and nodded, figuring this was coming.

You looked at Eren and asked, “Will you stay with me still?”

He looked at you confused and asked, “Are you sure you want me to stay in here while he exams your… you know… girly bits?”

You nodded and said, “I already know it’s gonna be uncomfortable as hell. I've heard these exams can hurt a little, especially if samples need to be taken. It’s also going to be awkward as fuck since it’s your dad and all, so I might as well have some sort of comfort. You can face the wall behind me if it helps.”

He hesitated, but nodded. Dr. Jaeger began to gather all of the instruments and things he needed for the exam while you put on the paper gown he gave you. You asked Eren to tie it for you and her did. Once it was tied, you slipped off your leggings and panties without him seeing anything. To spare both of you any extra embarrassment, you folded your panties inside your leggings so he didn’t see them.

“Lay back and place your feet into the stirrups, then slide your bottom towards the end of the table.” Dr. Jaeger said, sitting on the rolling stool.

You did what you were told and held your hand out to Eren, who was facing the wall behind you, but could still see you. He took your hand and held it tightly. Dr. Jaeger started to examine you and you breathed deeply, closing your eyes. You could feel your face heat up in embarrassment and couldn’t bring yourself to look at Eren, even as he squeezed your hand reassuringly. Once you felt the speculum touch you, you breathed deeply again, anticipating the pain of something entering you. It didn’t hurt while going in, but when it started to open, you whined slightly at the burning pain.

“I apologize ________,” Dr said, “I’ll be as quick as I can.”

You nodded and bit your lip. After what felt like forever, but was only about a minute and a half, the speculum was pulled out of you and you sighed in relief. You sat up and looked at Dr. Jaeger, watching as he collected all of the swabs and samples he had taken.

“I’m going to go process these and we should have the results in about twenty minutes. I’ll also need to take some blood samples to check a few things.” He said, standing.

You nodded and took the towel he handed you. He left the room and Eren turned his back so you could clean yourself up and get dressed again. You did so quickly and tossed the towel into the labeled basket.

“I’m done.” You said, sitting on the table again.

Eren turned back to you and leaned against the exam table, pulling you into a tight, but gentle hug. You hugged him back and buried your face into his neck.

“I love you,” he said, stroking your (h/c) hair, “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long but I was too scared. But after hearing that your own mother was forcing you to do that kind of stuff, I felt like I had to tell you… tell you that someone loved you….”

You teared up a little and said, “I love you too Eren…. But I was so scared to tell you because I thought no one could love me when I’m so used and disgusting….”

“You’re not disgusting,” Eren said, kissing your forehead, “You’ve been abused. None of it was your choice or your fault. Nothing could make me stop loving you.”

You looked up at him and he smiled at you. He leaned down and kissed you gently. You kissed him back before resting your head against his chest while he stood between your legs, hugging you. You stayed like that until the door opened again.

“Can I assume that you two finally confessed?” Dr. Jaeger asked, raising an eyebrow.

You giggled quietly and Eren nodded.

He nodded back and said, “Congratulations, and finally. Now, I’m sorry to have to separate you two lovebirds, but I need to take some blood samples.”

You nodded and pulled away from Eren to offer your arm to his father. He tied a rubber strip around your arm and felt for your vein. Once he found it, he skillfully stuck the needle in your arm and collected the blood he needed.

“Eren, hold this here for me.” He said, nodding down to the folded cotton pad he had placed over the needlestick.

Eren’s tanned fingers gently pressed down on the cotton and his father went to dispose of the needle. He came back with a roll of (f/c) coban and wrapped it around your arm. You thanked him and moved back to your embrace with Eren.

“I’ll run these tests and when all the results are back, we’ll go over them. For now, relax.” Grisha said, nodding at you two.

You nodded and rested your head back on Eren’s chest. He rested his chin on top of your head and hummed happily. You talked idly for a little over half an hour before Dr. Jaeger came back in, a dark look on his face.

“I know that look,” Eren said, sounding a little scared, “And nothing good comes after it….”

Grisha sighed and pulled the rolling stool over again, sitting down in front of you.

“Don’t sugarcoat it.” You said, trying to steal your nerves.

“There are a few things that we need to discus,” Dr. Jaeger said, looking down at the clipboard in his hands, “Are you sure you ok with Eren hearing this information?”

You nodded and said, “Yes. He knows everything else now. I’m not going to hide anything from him anymore.”

Dr. Jaeger nodded and said, “Alright. We’ll your anemia has gotten worse, which judging by how low your iron levels are, is probably due to your lack of nutrition. And your extreme weight loss is most likely due to your body’s dependence on the drugs.”

You nodded at his words. You had kind of figured that would be the case, but you were dreading whatever other diagnoses you might get.

“You have a few other vitamin deficiencies and insufficiencies, but that’s to be expected.”

You nodded.

“Unfortunately, I have two more rather serious diagnoses for you.”

You swallowed hard and nodded, holding onto Eren’s hand tightly.

“The lesser of the two is that you have a bacterial infection. It can be taken care of with antibiotics though.” Dr. Jaeger said.

You closed your eyes and sighed sadly.

“It’s an STD… isn’t it…?” You asked, looking at him.

“Yes. You have chlamydia, which, like I said, is treatable,” Dr said, trying to reassure you, “All you have to do is take the antibiotics that I give you and abstain from any sexual activity for a while and you’ll be cured.”

You nodded sadly and asked, “What’s the other bad news?”

Dr. Jaeger fell silent and his face grew dark again. A chill ran down your spine at the look.

“Dad,” Eren said, “What is it?”

The man sighed heavily and said, “________, according to your blood test, you’re somewhere between four and six weeks pregnant….”

The blood drained out of your face and your heart dropped into your stomach. You could see Dr. Jaeger’s lips moving, but all you could hear was a high-pitched ringing. It hadn’t been the withdrawal that was making you so sick…. It was because you were pregnant….

“I think I'm gonna be sick…!” You said, jumping up from the exam table and running to the garbage can that was built into the counter next to the sink.

You hunched over it and heaved roughly, bringing up stomach acid again. Gentle hands gathered your hair away from your face and another hand rubbed your back. You retched a few more times before gasping and coughing.

“Rinse your mouth out dear.” Dr. Jaeger said, turning the water on and grabbing a small cup.

He filled it and handed it to you. You took the water in, swished it around and spit it out in the sink. You coughed a few more times before straightening up, stumbling slightly. Eren quickly steadied you and brought you into his chest. Tears flooded your eyes and you began to sob.

“What am I going to do…?!” You cried, grabbing onto Eren’s shirt tightly.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said, hugging you tightly, “We’ll get through this. I swear…!”

You spent a while crying into your boyfriend’s chest before you were able to calm down.

“Eren, I want you to take ________ to our house,” Grisha said, taking his phone out, “I’ll call your mother and explain what’s going on. She’ll know how to help.”

Eren nodded and lead you out of the clinic and back to his car. He got you in and quickly drove to his house. He helped you out of the car and to the front door where his mother met you.

“Oh ________, darling.” She cooed, pulling you into a hug.

You started to cry again and she slowly brought you to the couch. She lowered you both down and stroked your hair. Eren came and sat on your other side and rested his hand on your knee, letting you know he was there. You managed to calm down quicker this time and pulled out of Carla’s loving embrace.

You sniffled and said, “Did Papa call you yet?”

Carla smiled lightly at the name you had called Grisha since your father died and nodded.

“I have a plan.” She said, petting your hair.

You nodded and Eren asked, “What is it?”

“There are obviously a few things that we need to address, but the first one is ________’s mother. We need to get the police involved.” Carla said.

You sighed. You were afraid she was going to say that.

“I know you don’t want to ________, but we have to,” Carla said, petting your hair gently, “But don’t worry, we’ll be with you the whole way.”

You nodded and asked, “What do we do after that?”

“We get you in a rehab program to get your body to not be dependent on the drugs anymore.” She answered.

You nodded again and looked down at your hands.

“What about… the baby…?” Eren asked, hesitant.

You peeked up at Carla through your lashes, curious to see her reaction.

She smiled a little sadly and said, “It’s still early on. We need to take care of those two things first, and then we’ll turn our attention to that. Oh, and we need to get that infection cleared up! That’s really priority number 1. Well, 1A, since we can do that and the police at the same time.”

You giggled a little at her, causing her to smile at you.

“Mom, can ________ stay with us from now on?” Eren asked.

“Of course! We’re getting that bitch thrown in jail so she needs somewhere to live. And this is the safest place for her.” Carla said.

You and Eren looked at the woman in shock.

“Mom!” Eren exclaimed, wide-eyed.

She looked at you two and asked, “What?”

“You never swear,” you giggled, “At least, not like that!”

The woman shrugged and said, “I’m just calling it like I see it.”

You giggled again and nodded.

“My mom should be out doing god knows what right now, so we should probably go get my stuff.” You said, looking to Eren.

He nodded and you stood, say goodbye to your new mother and going to the car. It didn’t take long to reach your house and you sighed in relief when you saw that your mother’s car was indeed gone. You quickly went inside and to your room. You went to your closet and reached for the large duffle bag that was on the top shelf, but couldn’t reach it.

“Need some help there?” Eren asked, coming up behind you and putting a hand on your waist.

“Yes please.” You said, tilting your head back so you could look up at him.

He smiled down at you and gave you a quick kiss before grabbing the bag. He placed it on your bed and helped you shove your small wardrobe into it. You didn’t have a lot of stuff, since you didn’t see any of the money you made from ‘working’, so your belongings were few and far between and all fit into your duffle and backpack. Shoving the last item into your bag, a photo of you and Eren from when you were kids, you froze as you heard the front door slam shut.

“________, are you back? Whose piece of shit car is that?” Your mother yelled, sounding mostly sober.

You took a deep, shuddering breath and felt Eren wrap his arms around you.

“We’ll make something up and get out of here quickly, I swear.” He whispered, kissing your forehead.

You nodded and took another deep breath before steeling your nerves and walking downstairs.

“There you are,” your mother said, her drawn on eyebrows pinching together when she saw you, “What the fuck is all this?”

Your mind blanked and you started to panic slightly, looking to Eren for help.

“Max asked to barrow some stuff from ________ for a project and since we were all planning on hanging out today, I just decided to drive her.” Eren said, forcing a smile.

Your mother eyed you both for a moment before nodding slowly.

“Whatever. As long as your back in time for our plans tonight.” She said, staring you down.

A chill ran down your spine and squeezed out “Yes ma’am….”

She nodded again and waved her hand dismissively as she walked towards the kitchen. You quickly ran out the door and Eren threw your bags into the back seat. You got in the car and Eren sped the whole way back to his house. Once there, he put your things in his room and you sat down with his mother again.

“So, you’re supposed to work tonight?” She asked, pulling out her phone.

You nodded and watched as she dialed a number.

“Hannes, hi, it’s Carla,” she said, tilting her head a little, “Listen, Grisha and I need a favor.”

She listened for a moment before humming.

“Great,” Carla said, smiling, “You remember Eren’s friend ________, right? Well, turns out her mother is a horrid bitch and has been forcing ________ into sex work for the past few years. She was so scared that she wasn’t able to tell us anything before today when she saw Grisha for an exam. The bitch has also been forcing ________ to take drugs. Is there any way to set her up tonight to get her arrested?”

She listened again and you could faintly hear someone talking on the other end of the line, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Wonderful. We’ll come by the station when Grisha gets home. Thanks.”

The woman hung up and looked at you with a smile.

“That hag should be in jail tonight.” She said, a sly smirk on her lips.

You were still a little shocked to see this side of Eren’s mother, but you kind of liked it. You smiled yourself and hugged your new mom, thanking her.

“What do we do after she’s arrested?” Eren asked.

“Well, first, since ________ is still 17, your father and I will have to take care of whatever legal paperwork needs to be done to become her guardians. Then, rehab.” Carla said, stroking your hair.

You nodded and reached out for Eren’s hand. He laced his fingers with yours and brought your hand up, kissing it lovingly. You ended up cuddling up with Eren on the couch watching tv with his mother while waiting for your father to get home. Once he arrived, you all got into his car and drove to the police station.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding as you watched a cop handcuff your mother.

“You little bitch! How dare you do this to me! I’ll make you regret it!!” She screeched, fighting against the cop.

You huffed out a breath and turned away from her, searching for Eren. You spotted him quickly and made your way to him. He hugged you and kissed your forehead. The next step now was rehab. It turns out that your new mom had a friend that ran a really nice rehab facility. And you didn’t have to pay for a thing, since the courts had decided that your biological mother owed you sever hundred thousand dollars for all of the trauma and damages she caused. You kept up with your school work while in rehab, but a little over two weeks into the program, you ended up in the hospital. They called Carla and your family quickly raced over.

“________,” Eren cried, bursting into you room, “Are you ok?! What happened?!”

You smiled tiredly at him and reached out for his hand. He quickly came to your side and held your hand with both of his.

“I miscarried.” You said simply.

Eren’s eyes widened at the news, and he didn’t know how to react, not knowing how you felt.

“How do you feel about the situation?” Your mom asked, sitting next to you on your bed and petting your head.

You smiled sadly and said, “I’m a little sad but, it’s best that this happened. I’m not ready for a baby and I honestly don’t know how I would have handled having a child from that situation. So, I'm ok.”

Eren frowned and said, “You don’t look like you’re ok.”

You laughed lightly and said, “I meant mentally and emotionally. Physically I’m tired as fuck and still in pain. Both from rehab and this. But I really am fine. I’ll be better in no time, I promise.”

Eren sighed lightly but nodded. You leaned up and kissed him gently before resting back in your bed.

Two months later, you were back home with Eren and your new family and you would be graduation high school soon. You were clean and sober a little over two months and you had recovered from the miscarriage completely. Your life was normal now, and you couldn’t be any happier with your boyfriend and your new family.

[a-sirens-melody]

Darkwing Duck’s Greatest Enemy: Type 1 Diabetes (And Definitely Not Self Loathing)

Quick author's note: Launchpad switches between he/they throughout the fic, just so no one gets confused! If you have any questions abt diabetes, feel free to ask me. With that said, enjoy!

***

So far, tonight has gone really well.

It's date night, and this time they're spending it eating takeout from Hamburger Hippo and watching Darkwing Duck at Launchpad's place. Wrappers lay on the floor, ignored in favor of watching Darkwing kick Megavolt’s ass on screen.

Drake is currently leaning into Launchpad's side on the couch, his partner’s arm wrapped around his waist. It all feels so cozy and domestic that he never wants it to end.

And then, because Drake must have seriously pissed off some powerful being in a past life, it happens.

Megavolt’s face becomes blurry, and it's a little harder to focus on the TV. A quick look around the room tells him that, actually, it's hard to focus on anything right now. He knows what this means; he's gotten better at picking up on the signs after twenty-eight years of living with a half-functioning pancreas.

His blood sugar’s starting to drop.

He tries to close his eyes and listen instead, but the shake of his hands quickly corrects him. He is dropping and he needs to find something to eat. Even though he just ate, like, an hour ago.

Dammit.

“Drake?”

He opens his eyes and notices that the episode is paused. He hadn't even realized, he was so caught up in his symptoms. The second thing he notices is Launchpad looking right at him.

He guesses that they felt his shaking because there's concern in their eyes now. A brief wave of guilt sweeps over him and he almost misses their question. “Is your blood sugar low?”

He finds it's a little hard to form words right now (and that scares him, it always does), so he nods his head slightly and hums.

“I'm gonna go get you a juice box.”

The arm wrapped around him vanishes as LP gets up. He helps him lay down on the couch, head pillowed on the armrest. He's still cold without his boyfriend, though, so Drake can't help the small whine that escapes him. God, he sounds pathetic.

Launchpad's eyes soften and they lean down to kiss his forehead. “I'll be right back, okay?”

A little embarrassed, Drake nods and watches the other duck head to his fridge. He closes his eyes again and almost sighs in relief as he's met with darkness. You can't lose your focus if there's nothing to focus on in the first place.

Did that even make sense? Whatever. His brain’s not working properly right now.

The sounds of his partner rummaging through the shelves fill the air. Drake is reminded of earlier when things felt so domestic between them. It's only been a couple of months since they started dating, but Launchpad already feels like the home he never had.

Drake doesn't know how he got so lucky; sometimes it all feels like a dream.

Launchpad leaving is his worst nightmare. He knows he's being a little dramatic, but his anxiety gets the better of him sometimes. He's too much, too expensive, too-

“Found it!” Footsteps pull Drake out of his thoughts and he cracks his eyes open. Launchpad already tore off the wrapping on the plastic straw and stuck it in the box. He holds it out now and places it near Drake's beak. “Drink this, okay?”

He moves the straw into his mouth with a hum and starts sucking the juice down, only stunned for a second at the chill. Fruit punch, his mind distantly informs him. It's his favorite flavor, but he's too focused on getting it into his system to really appreciate it right now.

When the juice box is thoroughly drained, he gives his boyfriend a small smile. He feels like he can talk without sounding like he's drunk now, so he says, “thanks, LP.”

“Anytime,” is the warm reply he receives. If Drake was of sound mind, he would kiss Launchpad breathless and maybe, maybe, utter those three little words that have grown harder to ignore as of late.

I love you.

The words are barely on the tip of his tongue even now. Yikes, his filter's pretty weak already. He tries to stuff the words down by chewing on the straw. Struggling with one of the disadvantages of diabetes is not his ideal confession scenario. Besides, it's way too soon to say that. Right? Right.

“Didn't think you kept juice boxes in your fridge,” he says instead. Not only is he trying to distract himself from his low brain feelings, he's genuinely curious. He doesn't recall seeing any juice boxes in LP’s fridge the last time he was here, and their favorite flavor is apple.

“Nah. Not for myself, at least.” They smile fondly at him. “I remembered that it's your favorite flavor, though, and I wanted to have something for whenever you went low over here.”

Wait.

Launchpad bought those for him? Specifically for him? And remembered his favorite flavor from a conversation they had three months ago when they asked Drake what he usually ate when his blood sugar went low?

That's...

“That's really sweet of you, LP. Thanks.” He says, because he's not really sure what to say. It's such a small act of kindness, something he's not used to, and he doesn't know how to deal with the sudden warmth in his chest.

He's too low for this. Feeling more intense emotions is a very frequent symptom of his when he's low, that's what this is. Yeah. Definitely.

His boyfriend's smile turns shy. “You don't have to thank me. Whatever helps you the most. Speaking of which, do you want me to bring your kit over here? I mean, obviously you feel low, but. Better to have an exact number, right?” Launchpad rambles, hand reaching to brush through the hair at the back of his neck.

That's a good point, actually. He has to be in the 40’s if he's feeling this bad. “Yes, please.”

Launchpad reaches to the side of his couch where Drake's bag is. Inside is his blood sugar kit (complete with a pricker, replaceable barrels, meter, test strips, insulin, and syringes), various small snacks in case he goes low when he's out, and a glucagon. He really hopes that last item is not going to be needed tonight.

He probably shouldn't have dropped the bag there, but he wanted to start their date. Can you really blame him?

The kit is found and placed onto the couch. Drake starts to reach for it, but suddenly there's a hand covering his.

“Can I check you, please?” He looks up and finds Launchpad staring at him. “I don't- if you don't want me to touch your stuff, I get it, but. You feel bad. So will you let me do it?”

You...want to help me? You don't want me to do this on my own?

“Sure. Just ask if you dunno what goes where, okay?” Drake says, thankful that his voice is somewhat steadier than his hands.

His partner nods and gets to work. They asked once how everything in the kit worked so Drake laid it all out and taught him. It felt nice having someone who wanted to listen to him talk about diabetes stuff.

He hears the test strip bottle close with a pop and the pricker calibrate with a ca-click. Just as Launchpad asks, he holds out a finger and lets his mind drift.

It's really not something he's used to, having someone around that he trusts will take care of him. For as long as he can remember, Drake could only rely on himself to get through whatever diabetic crisis he faced.

He was eight when he was diagnosed. At first, his parents did most of the hard work. He picked up on checking his blood sugar pretty quickly, but they would manage all his carb ratios and injections.

Then, they just sort of…stopped. Like they had only done it for him in the first place because he was too young to fully understand. By the time he was thirteen, he did pretty much everything on his own. So much so that more often than not on the tri-monthly visits to his endocrinologist, the car ride would be spent drilling his parents on what the past three months had been like.

Not that they ever told him they didn't care or want to care to his face. No, Drake had just picked up on it. But the night he overheard them talking about medical expenses was a particularly rude awakening.

He couldn't sleep for some reason and decided to watch some Darkwing Duck. He barely made it out of his bedroom when he heard voices.

“Why's everything gotta be so damn expensive!?”

Ah. His dad was looking at bills. So much for a DW marathon in peace and quiet. Drake had one foot back in his bedroom when he heard his mother reply.

“It doesn't really help that our current bank account looks like that, either…”

Forget going back to bed, his curiosity was peaked. He stayed still, straining to hear.

He wished he hadn't at what he heard next.

“Yeah, well, having a defective kid ain't cheap. Why couldn't you have had a normal one?”

To this day, he still remembers how his heart sank to his stomach.

Defective.

Defective.

Is that why they stopped helping? Why, at age sixteen, it was unspoken knowledge that Drake managed everything on his own? They didn't see a literal child in need, they saw a column of dollar signs. A black hole that sucked up all their cash and never gave it back.

His mom stayed quiet, and that hurt even more. She didn't care, either. Neither one of them did.

They were both selfish assholes that only cared about the alcohol they could've had stocked in their kitchen.

He cried himself to sleep that night, mourning the days when he could still trust his parents to take care of him and wishing he didn't have to live like this. If no one wanted to help him, he’d suck it up on his own. No one wanted to take care of him? Fine. Drake Mallard didn't need anyone else. He was better off on his own.

Those horrible feelings crash over him like a tidal wave now, twenty years later, and he doesn't know why they're here but he's overwhelmed by it all.

Why can't he just have a normal body? Why does his condition have to be so expensive and annoying and miserable sometimes? Why does he have to be so dependent on people when he tells himself that he’s better off working alone, when no one in his life has loved him enough to care anyway?

There's a price tag on his head (not just physical, because diabetes is a greedy little bitch), and it's only a matter of time until Launchpad figures this out. He won't want to stay up late to keep checking, to keep buying syringes or insulin or tests strips. He won't stay forever, and it's all Drake's fault, for getting so attached and having a broken, shitty body.

“Drake? Did I do something wrong?”

He blinks. There are tears in his eyes, a few of which have spilled down his cheeks.

“Uh,” his voice cracks. He wipes away the tears with his other hand. “No. N-no, you didn't do anything wrong. What were you doing?”

Launchpad cocks his head to the side and squints in concern. He knows there's more to Drake's answer, but he doesn't push yet. “I pricked your finger and put the blood in. You didn't even flinch, but I thought that was ‘cause you're used to this. Was there another reason?”

“I'm sorry.” And before Launchpad can start to ask for what? with his mouth already open, Drake rushes to say, “I'm sorry that out of all the people you could date, you got stuck with a chronically ill mess like me. You deserve a normal partner, and god you have no idea how badly I wish I was, but I'm not. I'll always be a burden and I know you won't want to stick around to deal with all the shit that comes with diabetes.

“Not that I don't want you to stay, please don't think that, but…” More tears fall and he brushes them aside, accidentally smearing blood on his feathers. “I’m not used to someone wanting to take care of me, and I don't want it to stop.”

He doesn't take his eyes off of Launchpad as he cries. If this were a cartoon, he would laugh at how quickly their expression changes. Confusion, concern, and realization flash across their face before their eyes soften again in concern.

“Baby,” they say, reaching out to cradle Drake's face. They gently wipe away the blood with their thumb, and Drake feels weak. Loving touches were something he was never given as a child, and it's taken some getting used to. It burns, unfamiliar and wonderful, every time Launchpad touches him. All he can do in this moment is lean into it and shut his eyes.

“Look at me, please?” He groans internally as he opens his eyes. Later, when his blood sugar isn't so low and he can properly think, he’ll recall the look on his boyfriend's face as determined. “I love you, so much. You're not a burden, and you never will be. Being with you is a new experience, sure, but it's a good one. It's not your fault your body's like this, and it doesn't make you any less amazing.

“Heck, if anything, it makes you even more so. You have to do more to stay healthy than most people, and you're really good at it! St. Canard is a better place with Darkwing Duck and Drake Mallard.” Launchpad leans in to kiss his forehead. “They were wrong, you're not unlovable.”

He's so gentle, so sweet, and it's all too much for Drake to wrap his mind around. Never mind the low, he's just heard what he's secretly always wanted to. He is good. He is loved. He...needs to know what his blood sugar actually was before he cries an entire ocean. One more thing, though.

“Uh,” seems like a good place to start as he scrambles to pick up the pieces of himself. He takes a shaky breath. “Thank you. Sorry I dumped all of that onto you, I don't know where it came from tonight, but. Thanks. I really needed that.”

LP still looks a little sad and it makes his heart hurt, but he bites down on his beak to avoid apologizing again. “No problem. Sometimes it just comes out of nowhere.” He strokes his cheek some more, and Drake sighs.

“This is nice and all, but,” his eyes dart to the meter still sitting in front of him. They got distracted for too long and now the little screen is dark. “Did you catch the number that showed up?”

“Buh?” Launchpad's eyes widen as he remembers what they were doing before. “Oh, dang it! Sorry! Do I need to do it again, or-”

Eh, they probably should, but Drake doesn't want to. It hasn't been too long anyways, maybe five minutes? He’ll be fine. “No, you're good, just press the button with the arrows. All the pricks get stored so you can look at them later.”

Any distress on their face is quickly replaced by a beaming smile. “Neat!” They do as Drake asked, and a number pops up: 46.

“Lovely,” Drake groans. “And I just ate. Maybe I just took too much insulin. Or am I getting sick? If I can't keep anything down in the next hour, I swear-”

LP snapping his fingers in his face pulls him away from his rambling. “Hello? Earth to Drake Mallard. I dunno what made you low, but we gotta fix it first. Would more juice work?”

Oh yeah. Hm, more juice or something else? Even though he feels exhausted, going to sleep is a bad idea. He's gotta stay up until he's back in range, so…

“Actually, do you have any Pep?” Launchpad tilts his head and furrows his brow as Drake explains. “Normally I wouldn't ask, but I think something with that much sugar would really help. Plus, the caffeine will keep me awake.”

They look less confused now, but their head remains tilted slightly. “There's not that much caffeine in Pep, though.”

“You forget I don't drink the regular Peps nearly as often as you do, LP.” The last time he actually had one was...ten years ago? They work great for treating a low quickly and that's the only time he ever cares to drink them. It's not worth the extra insulin or highs to try to look normal.

“Oh yeah! So you're not used to the sugar.” He nods. “Okay, be right back.” Launchpad takes about twenty seconds to get a Pep and come back to Drake. The tab's already open. “Uh, do you need to drink the whole thing right now?”

He really shouldn't, the juice is probably still processing. Still, it's very tempting to chug the entire thing just to put more sugar in his body. But he wants his blood sugar to be normal, not sky high. “No, I'll probably drink half of it right now. Thank you.” He takes the Pep and sips, blinking at the sheer amount of sugar flooding his taste buds.

The fact that most people drink enough of this stuff to where they hardly notice it boggles his mind. Not that the diet stuff is really healthier, but it's definitely a different taste.

Guess he's pulling a graveyard shift tonight. But at least he's with Launchpad.

(That's the other thing about drinking regular sodas; he gets really hyper. Last time, he couldn't fall asleep until exactly two am. Being tired but unable to sleep is the absolute worst feeling, and you can't change Drake's mind.)

Now that he can think a little more clearly, he realizes something.

“I can't drive like this,” he says. Driving with a low blood sugar is really dangerous, and not his usual kind. It's the kind of dangerous that could get himself, or someone else, or even both, killed. “And I'm definitely not walking home anytime soon, so. Guess our date’s been extended?”

Launchpad blinks at him, then claps his hands together and grins. “You're staying overnight! I mean, I wish it was under better circumstances, obviously, but. Yay!” He rocks on his heels before catching himself and looking away, a faint blush appearing on his face. “Anyways, is there anything else you need?”

Drake's about to reply not right now, thank you, but then he realizes something that's actually pretty important.

“Wait, since I'm staying here tonight, could I use your bathroom really quick? I, uh, need to take my binder off,” he admits. He’d forgotten it was even there until he remembered wait, you need to take that off before you go to sleep. He put it on about a half hour after he woke up, which was at noon, and it's midnight now so...oops. It's past time to take it off.

His boyfriend nods. “Yeah, no worries! Do what you gotta do. Wait.” His brow furrows. “You need me to help you over there?”

“I,” he falters. “Wouldn't mind it if you did.” The sugar's kicking in now, but he still doesn't trust himself. Given how clumsy he is? Better safe than sorry.

Launchpad holds his arms as he walks to the bathroom. He closes the door, Launchpad sitting in front of it just in case, and turns to the mirror. His shirt hits the floor, soon followed by his binder. A sigh of relief fills the air as he folds it. He hadn't realized how long he'd been wearing it. Tomorrow will have to be a skip day just to stay on the safe side.

(Hormones aren't a concern; he's not on them right now and is perfectly fine with that. The cost of that and insulin would be hard to juggle, anyways.)

He opens the door to find Launchpad staring at him, and he smiles shyly. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Launchpad smiles back, and holds out his hand. Drake takes it and pulls his boyfriend to his feet. They walk back to the couch together. “So, what are we doing? You can't go to sleep until your blood sugar's back up and we were in the middle of an episode of Darkwing Duck.”

“I like the way you think,” Drake teases. “So long as you check every now and then to make sure I haven't fallen asleep yet.” He sits down in his original spot.

“Whatever you need,” they reply, and sit down next to him. They wrap their around his waist and Drake leans into their side as he tries to find the remote. It occurs to him just then that there's still something he hasn't said yet. Something bigger than “thank you.”

He taps LP on the shoulder. They turn to look at him and oh no, he's already flustered. “I just. You said you, uh, loved me earlier and I wanted to say that, that I love you too.” His face is burning, and he got quieter at the end, but at least it’s out in the open now.

Launchpad’s eyes soften and he tilts his head close enough to kiss Drake. It's a quick peck, but sweet nonetheless. When he pulls away, he's smiling. “You're wonderful, you know that?”

Drake only blushes more and buries his face in Launchpad's chest. He can feel Launchpad chuckle and oh. Oh, that's really nice. He likes that a lot. He would stay right here, but the sounds of the Darkwing Duck episode are a siren song that never fails to lure him in.

They stay there, watching episode after episode and Launchpad checking in every so often. By the time Drake's blood sugar has gone back to normal, he stops watching and starts really thinking about the events of the night.

He doesn't have to do this on his own anymore. Someone actually wants to take care of him now.

He is loved. Really, truly loved. And he’ll never let Launchpad go.

[butterflyinthewell]

Some stuff about wheelchair!Vegeta with headcanons everywhere:

Vegeta was chronically ill before his injury due to medical abuse by Freeza. He was meant to be stronger than Goku, but will always be a half-step behind because of this, but even he doesn’t know that.

The illness stunted his growth and damaged all his organs. He recovered with lasting damage to his heart and kidneys. Saiyajin bodies compensate for damaged organs until they no longer function, so his liver and spleens(yes two) do some of the work his kidneys used to.

He gets drunk on less alcohol than other Saiyajins because of this.

In human terms he’s in chronic heart and kidney failure. He has to be very careful taking any meds that are toxic to the heart, liver and kidneys.

A human in his condition would be dead in a week. He’s been this way for decades.

His medical rap sheet is many pages long, and he paid huge amounts of money to have his medical records sealed so Freeza wouldn’t use them against him in the future. Medicines dangerous to him due to his organ damage were listed as allergies.

The Androids caused his spinal cord injury and the violent beating left him with PTSD. He already had sub-clinical PTSD symptoms before and this incident is what made it manifest fully.

He lost his ‘little’ spleen because of them. (Which is fine, it’s like a human appendix. He needs the big one, though.)

The damage to his body made his kidneys fail temporarily, so he was put on dialysis until they spontaneously started working again.

For a short time he was a quadriplegic on a ventilator because the surgery to repair his shattered 10th thoracic vertebra caused massive swelling in his spinal cord and brain. Nobody knew if he would survive the night after surgery, and the true extent of how the spinal cord injury affected him couldn’t be assessed until the swelling went down.

Saiyajin central nervous systems swell up when their brain or spinal cord gets punctured or exposed. It’s a vestigial trait from billions of years ago when their evolutionary ancestors’ bodies became toxic to any predator trying to eat them. This “immune edema” normally isn’t survivable, so Vegeta is the first and only Saiyajin to experience it and live.

He was in a coma from May until August. Nobody knew what condition he would be in if he woke up at all. But he did, and spent a long time in a minimally conscious state before becoming alert enough to communicate.

For awhile, he couldn’t use his vocal cords even if he had a Passy-Muir valve attached, so he communicated via AAC through a tablet and a mouth switch.

The brain edema caused neurons to sheer apart. While Saiyajin brains are capable of more neuroplasticity than human brains are, he still sustained a traumatic brain injury. He was diagnosed with epilepsy (he has tonic clonic seizures) caused by scar tissue all over his brain, and it’s inoperable because of the immune edema response. He takes meds to control his seizures and only has breakthroughs when something drastically lowers his seizure threshold.

Vegeta understands epilepsy because Raditz was born with it. Raditz’s was a lot worse and no medication controlled it. (Raditz had focal aware, atonic and tonic clonic seizures. His could be triggered by strobes, but Vegeta’s aren’t.)

Raditz was shameless about his seizures. They were just a thing that happened. Vegeta, in contrast, finds it humiliating if anyone other than Bulma or Trunks sees him have one, doubly so if he wets or soils himself during it.

Raditz tended to get confused, hyperactive and giddy the day after a seizure. Vegeta is bone-tired, struggles with brain fog and has trouble with his short term memory the day after a seizure. It takes him two days to fully recover.

Once all the brain issues settled down, it became clear that Vegeta is a t10 paraplegic, but he still gets autonomic dysreflexia because Saiyajins are more easily prone to it than humans. His experience of it is also worse than humans because he goes right to high blood pressure and a pounding headache. This drops his seizure threshold and it’s a mess. The only thing to control it is stopping the pain signal that’s happening below his lesion and keeping his head above his heart until his BP goes down.

Saiyajins have redundant nerves throughout their spine, so Vegeta can feel his toes, the soles of his feet, his tail scar and some spots on his butt. He can flex his butt muscles, but can’t wiggle his toes. He has no sensation from his belly button to the tops of his feet.

He can hobble along wearing knee-ankle-foot orthotics and using forearm crutches (four point gait) because those muscles in his butt give just enough movement to initiate a leg swing while gravity does the rest. He walks therapeutically to keep his legs from completely atrophying, but prefers his chair to get around.

He’s more prone to G-LOC in the gravity room due to orthostatic hypotension. Bulma programmed the computer to check his blood pressure periodically and tell him to power up if it drops too low since powering up raises blood pressure.

He tends to have seizures if he passes out from G-LOC. His brain is very sensitive to lack of oxygen since his injury.

He can exercise and train in up to 700Gs, but can’t fight in anything above 95 because his blood pressure and unhealthy heart can’t cope. He can die of anoxia if he’s turned upside down, abruptly flipped right side up again and held there while all the blood goes to his legs.

Vegeta doesn’t measure his disability by human standards. He measures it by Saiyajin standards. To able-bodied humans he doesn’t seem all that affected by what happened, but from his perspective he’s extremely affected.

The PTSD can make him violent and quick to anger. He has flashbacks and nightmares. If he gets triggered hard enough, he dissociates to the point of memory blackout. Sometimes he has bouts of depression.

Manual wheelchairs made for humans can’t survive him. He goes to push the wheels and they fly off, or it flies apart if he powers up, or it collapses in the gravity room, so Bulma made him some Saiyajin-proof chairs.

His current wheelchair LOOKS like an ultralight rigid open frame manual wheelchair, but it actually weighs about fifty pounds and is made of similar material to his old armor and attack ball. Unlike us in the real world, he’s got a button to push that’ll poof his chair into a capsule if he’s getting in a car or something. Btw, his chair has a white frame (hanger at 90 degrees and tapered to fit his legs), a hard backing, dark blue upholstery, a silver open tube footrest, black wheels, black push rims, white spoke covers, gold casters and gold bolts.

A regular human probably wouldn’t be able to use the wheelchair at all due to its weight.

His chair can survive up to 700 Gs in the gravity room, can survive him powering up and can take direct ki blasts without falling apart. This is because the frame is solid, not hollow tubes, and the wheels are also solid so they can’t pop or go flat.

His wheels have micro-treads, but he’s got “off road” wheels with huge treads he can switch to if he’s going somewhere outdoors or muddy.

He’s gentle about moving his chair around inside the Capsule Corporation compound, but give him a straightaway with no obstacles and he can shoot himself forward at 50mph on one full-strength push.

One of his fighting moves is to knock someone down, pop a wheelie and slam his casters down on them. Sometimes he keeps going by running them completely over. This could kill an ordinary human.

He can cheat stairs by flying, but finds that annoying and will use a ramp if it’s available.

He can still fight how he used to, just no kicks or leg movement.

All the pills he has to take (extended release Tegretol for his epilepsy, Valium for when a panic attack won’t stop) require a special coating so he metabolizes it with the full benefit instead of getting all the medication in his system at once for an hour. Injected meds work on him the same as a human, though.

Morphine is the go-to pain med when he’s having AD because he metabolizes it the fastest (he sprays it on his gums) but it zonks him out so it’s literally ever only used in dire emergencies where the cause of pain can’t be found or fixed by external means. Using morphine requires he gets blood work after to check on his liver.

Trunks is the only one in the story who grew up with Vegeta in the wheelchair and seeing him being tended to by Bulma whenever his health issues came up, so all his dad’s medical stuff is normal to him. He’s a sweet helper of a kid too and will sometimes ask if he can push Vegeta somewhere.

Actually, Vegeta kinda hates being fussed over, but he feels loved when family does the fussing. If it’s anybody else, though? He gets irritable and embarrassed.

He HATES it if people touch, lean on or move his chair without permission. Gohan makes the mistake of moving the chair exactly one time and learns a really hard lesson to never do it again.

Bulma can sit in the wheelchair without asking when Vegeta isn’t in it, and sometimes she does if she’s sitting at his bedside after he had a medical issue or seizure.

VEGETA’S DISABILITY WILL NOT BE CURED, EVER, NOT EVEN WITH THE DRAGON BALLS.

Vegeta sees his wheelchair as a reminder that he survived something that killed all the other Z-fighters. It’s a source of pride, not shame!

Sometimes he refers to his wheelchair as his throne.

Wheelchair!Vegeta is sexy af.

[prose-for-hire]

Headcanons for caring for a depressed s/o:

Request: I was wondering what would some the Buffyverse individuals do for a significant other with chronic depression Requested by: @shy-ginger-in-the-graveyard 

Characters: Spike; Giles; Angel: Buffy; Cordelia; Xander; Willow; Oz; Anya; Faith

Warning: Discussion of symptoms of depression (I didn’t describe in too much detail, mostly about the care/support the character would give). Mention of medication (If you do not take medication just ignore it). Hints at harm.

A/N: I don’t have an insight into the way everyone’s depression works, so I can only write what I know. If you want something else just request! Sorry it took slightly longer than I anticipated! I hope this is okay !! 💖

Spike:

Spike’s mood is always in tune to yours

So when things are getting bad, he can feel it

If you can’t get out of bed, he’ll come to you

He’ll wheel the tv over, grab some blankets and try to comfort you as much as he can

you’ll be bundled up in so many blankets, it’ll be a little nest

He’ll join you in bed, wanting to have a lot of physical contact

He’ll be worried all of the time, he feels a lot. Especially when he cares for someone

He’ll sit with you for as long as is necessary

won’t ever be bored

If you want cuddles will silently hold you or tell you what’s going on on the tv if you’re not looking and nestling into his side

If you want leaving alone, he’ll try not to hover (but the man loves deep and the way he shows it is comfort)

He will every so often suggest an activity, one he knows will require less effort on your part to try and get you out of the crypt

Will look up ways to help or ask you a lot if he’s doing the right things

Won’t want to leave you on your own when it gets real bad but if he has to he’ll make sure you can contact him immediately wherever he is

He’ll ask what he can do to help a lot. hates to see you in pain.

literally hurts him. But he never wanted to leave your side.

Will promise to support you for as long as you need if it interferes with jobs/etc (he can get money)

Giles:

at first his concern might come across a bit sharp

But when he finds you crying over something insignificant he’ll come and cradle you and sit you down while he sorts it

He’ll be very practical but incredibly soft with you

Reminders to take meds, etc

Will check with you on what you want

A lot

(which may get annoying but try not to snap he’s really trying)

He’ll have read up on everything he can concerning depression and try his best to be someone you can talk through anything with

doesn’t want you to feel alone in anything (you’ll never feel a burden)

will do tasks around the house if you’re struggling and won’t like you to thank him

he’ll see it as the least he could be doing

he’ll often set up snacks and everything around you on the sofa if that’s where you’re set up

moves all of the piles of books from in front of the tv so you can watch

will sit and watch anything. But will give you a commentary on how much drivel is pouring from the screen if its particularly low-brow

If you can’t focus on the screen or get restless he’ll think of ways to help

He’ll take out a book, pull you into him and start to read in that soothing voice

Angel:

he’d get it

You wouldn’t have to explain

He’d be able to tell if things were getting worse

He might notice your sleep schedule was almost as nocturnal as his

Or that you’re smile isn’t quite reaching your eyes half of the time

Despite you at least making the effort

but he’ll ask you to always come to him and talk about it

If you can’t that’s okay, he gets that too

But he wants to be there

And he’ll tell you so

Will give very good reassuring hugs.

especially ones in the mornings when you both know you should be leaving bed

he doesn’t eat human food, but he will always cook an evening meal

wants to make sure you’re eating decent meals

sometimes you might forget or not have the energy

but he will always make sure he’s planned an evening meal

If you can’t sleep he’ll make warm drinks and watch over you

will hold you for as long as you need (especially on a restless night)

not being able to sleep sucks, but at least you know he’s right there

If you’re feeling very low, will make sure to stay with you to make sure you’re safe

It’ll be the most important thing to him

Buffy:

this girl knows depression

She’s been there and worn the T-shirt

She’ll know that sometimes there’s literally nothing she can do to turn your mood

But it doesn’t mean she won’t be there if that’s what you want

she’ll try to bring you on patrol as much as she can, it’s a distraction at least

but if you really can’t face leaving the house, she would ask the scoobies to start taking up the slack and stay in with you

I feel like she would do all the shopping (food and extras) so you’d have a bunch of fun snacks or random treats that she hoped you might like

knows the little things can go a long way

if you appear emotionless or low, she’ll kiss you softly on the forehead and will never take it personal

if you’re trying to avoid going out she’ll gently encourage you

if you really refuse to go out in the evenings, her solution will be movie nights. 

She’ll rent videos and set up the living room 

so many blankets and she’ll cuddle up to you

she’ll slowly invite one or two friends over too so that you’re not cutting yourself off from everyone you care about (there’s no chance she’ll let you cut her out)

eventually, there will be regular Scooby movie nights

Cordelia:

will chat to you about anything and everything

Won’t expect you to talk back, just wants you to know she’s there

can talk non-stop for days about all of the gossip she has accumulated

If you’re struggling to motivate yourself with everyday tasks she will do as much as she can

without even mentioning it

If you haven’t washed your hair in a while she will offer to wash your hair

Will run you a bath (or shower if that’s easier)

And will very soothingly massage your scalp and wash/condition your hair

She’d set out comfy clothes and definitely brush out your hair (or comb it/style it depending on your style)

read in a magazine that sunlight is supposed to help

trying to decide if the tanning bed would be the same thing

eventually opts for natural sunlight when told by one of the Scoobies that tanning booths probably aren’t the best way to go

will set up a beach day

or the closest thing she can get to a beach day (which might just be sitting in the back garden under the sun)

you tell her she didn’t have to but she will smile wide and insist that it was the best excuse to work on her tan

Very caring and will drop everything for the right person to meet their needs

Will fight anyone that says anything judgemental or rude about you

Willow:

She’ll be very practical but try to be lowkey about it

small suggestions to make sure you’re looking after yourself

you will never ever have any doubt she cares

forgetful? Sticky notes everywhere

adjusting to new meds? Will make a list of any side effects and monitor you to be sure you’re safe

(just cos she cares)

If the days are running into each other she will wake you up telling you the day with a little kiss

I feel like she’d like meal prepping

so she’d make meals for the week so you could have something in if you weren’t feeling up to cooking anything nutritious

she’d totally be doing it anyway, so just makes a little extra for you to share

she will also bake and encourage you to join in too. She’ll say its more fun when you’re around

she will try and inject a little bit of fun into everything

e.g. making a game out of tidying your living room/bedroom

Will offer to do a few spells to help with everyday tasks if they’re overwhelming you a bit

Won’t be too upset if you say no

But will try to convince you multiple times

Xander:

if you’ve been in a slump for a while he’ll try and shake up the routine

even if its just a little something

will crack a lot of jokes to try and cheer you up

“Laughter is the best medicine” (but he will definitely check in sporadically to make sure if u take meds that you are taking them)

won’t remember himself to check all the time but will remember randomly and he’ll ask even if you’re in the middle of a different conversation

But knows when to be serious, when you really need him to be there

Will want you to lean on him 24/7

Both literally and metaphorically

If there’s a day where you’re doing a lot of crying he will be the shoulder you cry on

Wouldn’t leave even if it looked like you were trying to push him away

Knows how to talk to you (especially if you were being self-deprecating)

would 100% be the type to make breakfast in bed on multiple occasions. Wants to make sure you feel special

because you’re usually pretty hard on yourself

might get frustrated that he can’t do more to help (but would never take it out on you)

would go and vent to Buffy or someone who would tell him what you would: that you love that he’s there as much as he can be. He makes it all worth it

Oz:

he’d be very chill about it 

He’d always worry, but be chill on the surface

not only because he’s literally always laid back but because he wants to show it doesn’t phase him

he loves you

he’ll just roll with whatever it is that you need

If you need to cancel plans he’d just nod and call up to cancel

Would try his best to make sure you were comfortable

He’s big on giving for a s/o so anything you needed he’d encourage you to ask

He’d probably check on you a lot, not always verbal just a gesture with his head

If you’re no longer able to enjoy stuff you’re into, he’ll try and slowly introduce small activities

bursts of fun that might or might not help

but you always appreciate the thought

Music.

Will play music as a way of distraction if your thoughts are getting heavy

Any genre. Any decade. Any mood

Will lie there with you, letting the songs wash over you both

Will want to hold your hand or something as a gesture of comfort

always wants you to know he’s there

Anya:

If you can’t move from bed or you’re unmotivated she will try her best to be understanding

Will set lots of alarms if it’s something important you need to get up for

Alarm clocks on every surface

But if you can’t face it she’ll make up a very unconvincing excuse but nobody will question her

At least her hearts in the right place

will tell you wild stories from her past to pass the time if you can’t face leaving the house

will insist you go to therapy and make sure you go

is very by the book because she has just learnt about everything

(thanks Google)

“it says here that counselling/therapy will help with your depression, so you have to go every week, y/n”

will not be open to discussion about it. 

she read it therefore it’s a fact so will always make sure you go. Same with meds if you take them. Same with making sure your diet is as balanced as possible

she’ll be very by the book because she’s just learning about it as she goes

and she’ll always want the best for you

Faith:

If you’re feeling particularly bad about yourself that day she wouldnt care about appearing vulnerable she’d whisper the softest things

you’d want to tease her but you just couldn’t

she’d make you feel so loved

you’d never be a burden with her

she’d love you so fiercely 

she might snap sometimes, but she knows when you’re more fragile

she’d hate seeing you cry

would make her cry

but she wouldn’t go anywhere or tell you to stop. She’d whisper and just let you cry against her

with her own tears threatening to spill

would be very protective

if anyone made you feel guilty or didn’t understand you physically couldn’t do stuff

she would not hesitate to use her slayer strength to back up her words

Will take you on trips in the car. Won’t tell you where she got the car from. Or if her license has expired or not

Mini roadtrips with no real destination

so that you can have some fresh air, some music

knows that you’ll need a change of scene if you’ve been staying in a lot

[mandowh0re]

Peter’s Emergency Contact

Summary: Peter meets the Avengers. It doesn’t go well.

A/N: I’m a terrible person tell me to finish my wips. Also I’m sorry about May :(

P.s. it’s been a long time since I picked this fic up so there are some continuum issues, please forgive me.

Part1/ Part2/ Part3/ Part 4

Part 4

Putting it mildly, Peter was fucking bored. It was summer, but both Ned and MJ were on vacation with their families. And on top of that, it was way too hot to go out and do anything, including patrol. He was, however, on stand by if Karen came through with anything that required Spider-Man’s assistance.

A few floors down, the ex-Rogue Avengers were doing god knows what. They had been pardoned a month earlier and moved back into the tower. Peter had yet to meet them, though Tony seemed okay with them. But Peter didn’t really trust them.

Well, okay. He more-so didn’t trust Steve. Even though the others fought against Tony too, it was Steve that scared Tony. Peter noticed minute things that Tony would do whenever the Captain was mentioned. He’d fidget, or grab his left wrist, or rub his chest, or bite the inside of his cheek. Mostly stuff that would fly past most people.

But Peter wasn’t ‘most people’. Officially, Peter was Tony’s child. After a car accident killed May about eight months prior, Tony legally adopted Peter. Since then, Peter has learned all of Tony’s tells. Wanting to get to the bottom of these anxious ticks, Peter hacked his way around FRIDAY’s systems to figure out what had happened.

Peter wasn’t one to give into rage, but that day he spent a majority of his time in the gym or swinging through the city because he was basically vibrating from the emotion.

But they lived in the same tower, and maybe Peter was desperate for something to do, so he decided to head down to the common room where FRIDAY had informed him that a few of the Avengers were hanging out.

The elevator dinged and Peter walked out to the sight of… Christmas decorations?

“What the…” He breathed, looking around the room.

“You’re not Stark,” Natasha said, suddenly appearing in front of Peter.

Peter had to literally fight down his fanboy excitement to greet the literal Black Widow!

“Uh, no. I mean, technically I am but-”

“You’re Peter, right?” Was that a smirk? Peter couldn't tell.

“Uh, y-yeah. How-?”

“I have my ways of finding things out,” Okay, now that was a smile, “I haven’t told anyone though. So you’ll have to introduce yourself to them.” She said as she tossed her head to the side, motioning to the others on the floor.

“Oh, right.”

Peter followed Natasha farther into the room, gaining the attention of the rest of the crew including Wanda Maximoff, Vision (who Peter had actually met before), Clint Barton, Sam Wilson, and Bruce (who Peter had also met before as he and Thor showed up about two months after May’s death).

“Uh, who’s the child, Nat?” Clint asked, sitting on the kitchen island.

Natasha looked at Peter, who began picking at the hem of his shirt. A nervous tick of his own.

“Uh, hi, Mister Barton. I’m Peter. Uh, Peter Parker. Or, Peter Parker-Stark now I guess? I’m-”

“Wait, excuse me, Parker-Stark? Since when the hell did Stark have a child?” Sam cut in.

“Let him finish,” Wanda berated the man, who seemed to currently be baking cookies, “Go on,” She said to the other teenager in the room, smiling kindly.

“Right, so uh, Tony hired me as his personal intern like two years ago, and we got pretty close. My aunt died last December and since she was my last family, Tony took me in and adopted me.” Immediately after mentioning his aunt’s death, almost everyone in the room looked at him with pity.

“I’m sorry kid,” That was Clint again, “Life sucks sometimes.”

“I’m adjusting,” Peter replied, but he quickly changed the subject, “Why are you decorating for Christmas? It’s almost a hundred degrees outside, not to mention it’s July.”

“Ah, that was my idea!” Sam called from the kitchen where he was currently pulling cookies out of the oven, “Since we’re on house arrest until further notice, I thought we could entertain ourselves with Christmas in July. It’s something we used to do when I was younger.”

“Oh, that sounds fun!”

“You’re welcome to join, kid.” Bruce called from his spot on the couch.

“Really? Thanks guys!” Peter jumped onto a seat at the island.

“Have a cookie, man.” Sam said, holding out a plate of santa shaped sugar cookies.

“Aw sweet!” The boy grabbed one and took a bite, “Thanks!”

About fifteen minutes passed by when Peter’s senses upped a few notches.

“Any cookies left, Sam?”

Peter nearly choked on his current cookie and jumped up to see Steve Rogers walking out of the elevator.

“Yep, a few plates full. There’s sugar, gingerbread, and chocolate chip.”

A few seconds passed before the super soldier noticed Peter.

“Um, hello. I’m Steve, you are?” He offered a hand for Peter to shake.

Peter tried to respond, but the room suddenly began spinning. He gripped onto the counter to steady himself.

“Son?” Steve asked.

“Don’ call me tha’,” Peter tried to glare, but he wasn’t even sure he was controlling his face properly.

Out of nowhere his legs gave out, and black began overtaking his vision.

A chorus of exclamations rang out as everyone ran over to tend to the boy. Fortunately and unfortunately, Steve was the closest and was the one to grab Peter before he hit the ground.

“No! Let me go!” He struggled against Steve’s arms to no avail.

“Calm down, son, I’m just-”

“What happened?” Bruce asked, feeling for Peter’s pulse.

“He just collapsed.” Sam answered.

Then Peter began seizing.

“Fuck, Sam, start a timer to time the seizure. Steve, pick him up and bring him to the medbay with me. Natasha, call Tony.”

“Why are we calling Tony?” Steve asked, following Bruce into the elevator.

It was silent for a moment where Bruce and Nat exchanged glances before Bruce answered, “He’s Tony’s kid.”

“Since when-”

“Later Steve. One thing at a time.”

***

“This better be important. Like, life or death because you pulled me out of a meeting and Pepper-”

“Shut up, Stark. Something is wrong with Peter.”

Tony was quiet for a moment before growling back, “Explain, Romanoff. Now.”

“I don’t know, Tony. He came down and introduced himself and was hanging out with us when he just collapsed and started seizing. We’re taking him to the medbay now-”

“Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. I’m in DC. I’ll have to come back with the suit but it’ll still take me an hour.”

“What do you want me to-”

“Do not let him out of your sight, Nat. I don’t want him waking up alone and you and Bruce are the only two I trust enough to watch him. Keep me updated, I’ll let you know when I’m there.”

“Got it.”

***

“He’s showing symptoms of anaphylactic shock,” Bruce said to the other two occupants after injecting Peter with an anticonvulsant, “ FRIDAY, is Peter allergic to anything? Override code six one three three nine seven five.”

“Peter is allergic to peppermint, and as well has severe reactions when in close vicinity to insect repellents.”

“Was there peppermint in Sam’s cookies?”

“One moment, Doctor Banner.” A few seconds passed before the AI came back with an answer, “Mister Wilson has supplied that the sugar cookies had peppermint extract in them.”

“Peter had several of those,” Nat said quietly.

“Okay, okay at least I can work with that. Steve,” Bruce called to the soldier while pulling out an epinephrine pen, “I think it’d be better if you waited with everyone else. Thank you for helping.”

Steve wanted to argue, but he looked at Nat who seemed to agree with Bruce.

“Okay. Let me know if you need anything else.” He offered before walking out the door.

As soon as the door shut behind him Nat spoke, “If Peter hadn’t accidentally poisoned himself I’m pretty sure he would have punched Steve.”

Bruce finished injecting the medicine and pulled the pen away from Peter’s thigh, “He still might.”

Natasha helped Bruce fix an IV drip in Peter’s arm in silence.

“You don’t have to stay, I can watch him until Tony gets here.” Bruce offered.

“He won’t be here for another forty five minutes. Plus, I’m supposed to keep watch. Stark’s orders.”

Bruce nodded in understanding, “His vitals are starting to return to normal. I’ll go update the others.”

“I’ll call Tony.”

***

Peter felt like he’d been hit by a train.

Had he?

Honestly he couldn’t remember what had happened. He opened his eyes to see Tony next to his bed (why was he in the medbay?) talking to someone on the other side of his bed. Soon his ears stopped ringing and he heard another hushed voice. Probably whoever Tony was talking to. Why did Tony look upset?

Peter turned his head to see Steve standing there.

And

What?

Without really having his wits about him yet, Peter jumped up and shoved the man back, pulling and knocking over his IV stand in the process.

“Woah, Pete! Calm down-”

“What? You didn’t get to kill him in Siberia so you thought you’d come and finish the job while I’m out?” Peter practically snarled.

Steve’s eyes blew wide, shock and shame overtaking his features, “Son, I-”

“And stop calling me that!” Peter shoved again, sending the captain into the wall, leaving a sizable crack.

“Peter!” Tony yelled, grabbing at the kid’s arm, “Calm down, bud. He’s not here to hurt me, or you for that matter. Can you please sit back down before you give me another damn heart attack?”

Peter obliged but his eyes never left Steve, who looked to be in too much of shock to really say anything.

“Cap, let the team know he’s awake, will ya?” It really wasn’t a suggestion or a question, more like a thinly veiled disguise to get him out of the room before Peter decided he hadn’t had enough.

Nodding, Steve hightailed it out of the room, but not before looking back at Peter and offering a quick apology.

It was quiet for a few moments, in which time Tony set the IV stand back up and made sure Peter’s IV was still in place. Finally the older man spoke, “Pete, buddy, what was all that about? How do you know what happened in Siberia?”

Peter’s demeanor fell slightly as he came back to himself, “Wasn’t hard to guess.”

“Mhmm. Wanna try again? Maybe with the truth this time?” Tony said as he sat back down next to his kid.

Peter crossed his arms and looked down at the floor.

“I hacked FRIDAY,” He mumbled.

“I’m sorry, can you repeat that?” Tony asked.

Peter sighed audibly before repeating himself, louder this time, “I hacked FRIDAY.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Because you were beat up and withdrawn after we got back from Germany. Which, okay, fine. We weren’t in a place for you to tell me what happened. But then the pardon for them was beginning to go through and every time Steve was even mentioned, you had these reactions like you were nervous or something. And I wanted to know why. I already had a pretty good idea. Then I saw the footage and I just… I don’t want him near you..”

“Peter, buddy. Look at me, please,” Tony gently held the boy’s chin and turned his head so that he looked at Tony, “Thank you for looking out for me. But that’s not your responsibility,”

“Yes it is! I can’t-” His throat catches and a lump forms, tears making their way to the surface, “I’ve lost everyone because I couldn’t protect them. I can’t lose you too.”

Tony pulls Peter in for a hug, and cards his fingers through the kid’s curls, “It’s okay to cry, honey. But I’m not going anywhere. Remember that. The universe will have to personally fight me before I let anything get between us. Understood?” Peter nodded slightly, but clung to his father’s shirt as he cried.

Eventually Peter fell asleep in Tony’s arms.

“I love you, kid. I’m not going anywhere.” Tony whispered, placing a kiss on top of the curls on his kid’s head.

And yes. Peter did end up punching Captain America. We don’t bring that up.

***

IronDad tag list: @tranquility-or-chaos @a-black-pegasus @do-you-downey @ididntdothatnope @marvelbased @yourwhatisstuckwhere @terriblygoodrockandroll @love-every-fandom @starkaroos2034 @prism-opals @howisavebrainspace @multifandom-slytherin @insaneskyler @starlightfound

Permanent tag list: @a-place-to-blog-marvel-stuff @yes-iamironman-blog @paradoxicalblueberry @the-regal-warrior @transparentparadiseglitterzombie @marvelgem @propertyofmarvel @avngrsinitiative @my-leg-is-not-a-chew-toy @lyricalstella @just-the-daydreamer

!! I’ve removed several urls from my tag list because they don’t work anymore. If you would like to be part of my tag lists please send me a message or an ask!!

[reversecreek]

pops hip n winks at the dash. haaaaiiii. me again. i’ve honestly missed playing lana fr a while she’s one of. my most treasured muses bc she’s jst a silly n vivacious ball of sunshine or alternatively? a train wreck depending on which way u turn her in the light..... i actually hv two playlists made fr her n one is rly old bt it’s more like. songs that Remind me of her which u can find here n then here is more like. stuff u’ll most often catch her blasting on her record player as she dances around in her underwear w the curtains open. OH and here is her pinterest 🍓⚡

* kristine froseth, cis female + she/her  | you know lana jameson, right? they’re twenty-three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a few hours? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to play that funky music by wild cherry like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole cherry red gym socks worn with nothing else, doodling penises in the condensation of a stranger’s car window, a bumper sticker on the back of a convertible cadillac that says ‘scrappy doo is a filthy slut’ thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is june 2nd, so they’re a gemini, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her  )

HISTORY:

lana grew up in a big house in albany, NY. i picture it w dark oak floors n lots of light furniture. albums framed on walls. mayb some rolling stone covers too frm way bk when of the bands her dad’s label signed. kind of like… a rock star palace w no evidence of children at all. i think i described it best in one of lana’s self paras once when i said the garden ws “as big as it was unloved”

lana’s mum victoria (vic) ws a music journalist w a pretty fruitful career ahead of her when she met lana’s dad richard (rich). his record label ws jst starting out, founded on the coattails of his wealthy best friend’s (jensen peters) investment w his other best friend (who he jst calls knoxville). it rocketed to success when they signed poppy injects, a rock band w an electric stage presence, n vic ws drawn to the glitz n glamour of a man tht ws at the helm of his aspiring industry. their love ws very impulsive, all or nothing right frm the start, n it ws almost like she ws mre in love w his accomplishments n what he represented than him.

(DRUGS TW) anyway so jameson records repped a few rock bands bk in the eighties, altho poppy injects r who they’re mostly known fr, namely bc of hw brightly they crashed n burned. they were a big chart success bt the lead singer hd quite an intense struggle w heroin (wsnt rly subtle abt it either while he ws in the public eye as u cn probably imagine frm such an on-the-nose band name) n he ws always in n out of the papers. it eventually brought down his career n it ws a big publicity nightmare

lana pretty much… grew up around figures like this throughout childhood. real characters who wld kind of… b extremely volatile n destructive abt their troubles. the jameson house was an open one as welcoming clients went n a lot of parties took place there. a lot of the time musicians wld b snorting lines in the kitchen when she wnted to grab a bowl of cereal fr breakfast n it was just. a very strange environment fr a child to grow up in. more zoo than home. more shaken snow globe than resting place. (END OF TW)

(ABORTION REFERENCE) her parents always kind of jst… didn’t like her much. her older brother caleb ws unplanned bt they sort of welcomed the surprise more bt… quickly realised they weren’t cut out fr parenthood n then when lana came as another surprise 3 yrs later they didn’t even try to hide their resentment abt the situation. her mum ws actually booked in to have an abortion bt cldnt go through with it at the last minute. once when lana ws a kid she asked her why she’s so cold towards her she jst turned her head frm her dresser, looked at her, told her abt this n said “idk why i didn’t go”. lana didn’t kno wht to say to tht so she jst left her room n closed the door (END OF REFERENCE)

(DISSOCIATION TW) bc of the intensity of her parents ignoring her growing up lana adopted this sense of like…. she didn’t rly kno what it ws bt it ws a delusion of sorts where she thought she ws a ghost bc she gt this strange outside feeling. she’d jst sort of… drift around the halls w no-one acknowledging her n sometimes she ws jst convinced she wsnt actually there or they cldnt see her n she ws jst haunting the house frm a previous family. (END OF TW) her imagination festered an explanation out of smthn she didn��t understand essentially. lana used her imagination to do this a lot growing up. it ws kind of like the band aid she slapped over everything. after all she wasn’t alone if she was sword fighting imaginary pirates dwn the hallway with a poker from the fireplace. 

the one saving grace tho tht sort of?? gt her thru this n made her feel Seen ws caleb. lana quite genuinely hs always thought the sun shines out of her older brothers ass like she jst thinks. he’s the best person in the entire world. wld b rly bewildered if anyone questioned tht. he wld always look out for her n cut the crusts off her sandwiches (he’d cook fr them most of the time bc their parents were too busy/didn’t care to) n sometimes wld even sleep at the bottom of her bed curled up like a guard dog. it ws always lana n caleb n his best friend tommy against the world in tht house (tommy lived next door bt was always over bc he had very strict parents tht he found suffocating)

(ARMY MENTION) SO when tommy announced tht he’d signed up to the army (bc of pressures from tommy’s military dad to fulfil some kind of stupid “legacy” tommy didn’t even care abt) n caleb said he was going with him lana ws understandably…….. completely blindsided. she ws rly upset tht they were leaving n was kind of like “wtf why are u doing this like what do u even think this is gna solve” etc n begged caleb not to leave her there on her own n jst to not sign up in general bc tommy had to bt he didn’t listen. 

ERM i won’t go into it but it didn’t turn out well as u can probably imagine bc the army is a terrible industry n caleb had to return home without tommy. he wasn’t the same after that. (END OF MENTION)

what’d been a rly close relationship before where he ws basically like a surrogate father figure to lana was Not there any more. he ws rly withdrawn n always pushing her away n snapping at her for the sake of getting her to leave him alone. on top of this lana had a lot of shit go down while he was away n rly just shouldn’t have been a kid alone in tht house. regardless lana thought if she kept grinning as wide as she cld she’d convince caleb to join in too. maybe if she seemed fine n happy he’d take the lead. maybe she’d believe it too n start to feel it n everything could go bk to how it was before her world became so different. lana liked the way the sky flipped when she tipped her head back on the swings bt this was different. everything was upside down bt this didn’t make her belly feel like she’d swallowed a butterfly and it wasn’t funny bt still, she kept laughing. always desperate to find something to laugh at n if she couldn’t find it she invented it. as long as ur laughing the world can’t b that bad.

she ws always well liked in school bc she jst tended to treat everyone like they were bffs no matter who like u cld have literally bumped shoulders w her once in the corridor n she’d be like OMG HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII let’s kiss<3 n like she ws a huge notorious flirt w any n all as well as incredibly impulsive n jst. wild honestly to put it simply too bt things like. changed a bit frm 16 onwards. (HYPERSEXUALITY & IMPLIED TRAUMA TW) she jst became far more reckless honestly n like....... jst didn’t rly seem to care after a certain point abt herself too much.... got herself in a bunch of bad situations.......... kind of jst flung herself to the wolves numerous times without any caution abt the way they’d bite. formed a lot of self destructive habits one of which ws cruising craigslist personals fr random hook-ups n like. she literally cld have wound up in a ditch somewhere honestly it’s a shock she hasn’t. despite various dips n inclines in her journey navigating this side of her it’s very much still present in her life to this day n she struggles to kno hw to control herself at points. sometimes she feels like a melting candle tht needs moulding by thumbs until it can form a person again. sometimes she’s only sure she’s real when she’s being touched. (END OF TW)

ANYWAY. laughs nervously. went to college to study dance bc she’s always loved dance in general bt specifically ballet (despite definitely not hving the discipline for it) n honestly this was both good n bad fr her. had a whole string of terrible heartbreaking relationships bc she tends to fall into those hard n fast n they were w a lot of bad people fr like 98% of the time. she kind of learned more abt what love is during her time there tho which is a gd thing bt she still isn’t very good at knowing hw to believe she deserves it so it’s a process. she hd fun tho. threw 498572598475 outrageous n elaborately themed parties. ws friends w pretty much everyone on campus. 

despite a strained relationship w her brother n having to go home to visit n check on him whenever he got rly bad it ws the first time it actually felt like she’d found a home in a lot of rly loving n genuine friendships n lana will never forget hw much that experience meant to her even if she definitely struggled there too. college felt like a place she belonged n then suddenly she couldn’t belong there any more n there was a big sense of floundering in that. like where do u go now when u’ve never known home elsewhere? how do u happily go out into the world if it means leaving ur world behind?

she applied to a dance company in LA n fell in w a pretentious art scene there full of wannabe andy warhols n the like. became a makeshift edie sedgwick to some guy w dyed white hair n the idea his every concept was revolutionary when rly he jst shot her dancing barely clothed splashing around in a random fountain in his friend’s mansion on an ancient film camera. she’d spend her days floating around on lilo’s and prancing in feather boas and racing with glitter leftover frm last night in her leotard w smudges of faint red lipstick to barely make her job on time. always a sexy train wreck bt this time? make it hollywood. 

(IMPLIED ALCOHOLISM TW) i won’t lie to u lana hs always partied way too hard bt then partying way too hard turned into slurping merlot thru a crazy straw shaped like a flamingo at 4 in the afternoon wearing penis novelty sunglasses n it wasn’t quite so much of a party when u were doing it on ur own. this rly snowballed into place in college bt carried on n wound up getting her fired from the dance company bc she turned up to rehearsals drunk one too many times n they didn’t allow fr sloppiness like tht. it was a “professional operation” that didn’t “accept that kind of behaviour” bt lana was jst like ummmmmmmmm that’s totally dramatic btw way to spank me in the town square like i’m gale w a raw ass n back in the hunger games bt ok sure i’m out ig. BOOP! (literally booped the director on the nose before leaving) (END OF TW)

honestly hd no idea what to do w herself after her job fell thru in LA n was pretty embarrassed actually upon sobering up the nxt day. cldn’t bring herself to tell her friends for a hot minute bc she felt like a failure or smthn n she was meant to be living this glamorous life out there being the classic wild n silly n fun Lana Jameson. cldn’t figure out how to repackage it into a funny story tht wouldn’t worry ppl. eventually wound up jst caving n telling her closest besties (shoutout freya n rosa) bc she ws hving a weird time dating losers n randomly living in LA even tho she didn’t kno why she was there any more after losing the job n they were jst like. fk it then. jst come here. we’re in irving. and so? mizz jameson packed her bags....

PERSONALITY:

always smells vaguely of wild cherries or strawberry starburst or jst the candy aisle in general. if she ws a vinyl record she’d b this one n she’d only play good vibrations by the beach boys, dancing on my own by robyn, play that funky music by wild cherry, femme fatale by the velvet underground n (i can’t get no) satisfaction by the rolling stones

the jameson family r pretty well off n bc of her relation to such a big music industry figure she’s hung out w a fair few relatively high rep ppl thru her teens. mostly kids of celebrities n stuff like tht. she amassed a bit of an instagram following #nepotism bt also fr her style (v penny lane-esque in some aspects. lots of fur cuff trimmed jackets bt then also jst…. a wild combination of everything honestly. pastel faux fur coats, seventies style platforms, bright red cowboy boots, pink fishnet tights, holographic stickers of planets on her cheek n glitter used like highlight, 90% of the time a red lip) n bc she’s not gna make ur eyes bleed to look at or anything let’s b real

growing up lana was always a huge social butterfly. knew everyone n everyone knew her. she ws one of those girls tht ws kind of impossible to ignore or forget. very animated, always made u feel like u were the centre of the universe whenever she spoke to u, always made it feel like u were best friends even if ud only spoken to her once.

deliberately puts on tht kind of Magnetic Alluring Act tht femme fatales wear in movies w most ppl. kind of…. is always playing A Role of the person tht she wants to b seen as. hates being sad n always wnts to be happy / making ppl happy. chameleons to situations. feels like she’s performed as the vivacious n fun loving Lana Jameson fr so long tht she doesn’t rly kno who she is beneath tht bt she isn’t too keen to find out. sometimes gets glimpses n feels the urge to close her eyes.

she’s always been rly spontaneous n adventurous. always doing something weird n wild every weekend. she has ten thousand ridiculously absurd n chaotic stories. she’s like oh ya this one time this guy made me ride him with a daddy saddle like i was woody and he was bullseye. he literally made me call him bullseye. or she’s like. oh ya once i had to run barefoot thru a cabbage patch bc this one farmer wanted to have a threeway w me n my friend tht we met off craigslist n every framed photo in his house was a pig dressed up in cosplay bt honestly they were kind of cute n he was sexy aside frm the murderous vibes n the fact he kept calling me babe which i’m pretty sure means he wanted to dress me up next bt like whatever honestly.... she tells jst the most batshit stuff n the person she’s telling it to is left blinking like. wtf.

uncontrollably flirty. insanely confident. cld make a joke out a paper bag n will try. she tends to laugh when she feels like crying n has a smile brighter than a ray of texas sunshine.

likes to roller skate n hs a red pair she’ll glide around in at night lit up by amber street lamps breath sticky w the taste of wine n lollipops probably heading to a random hookups. who needs ubers?

always dapples her fingers thru the breeze when she’s driving in a car w the window down. honestly likes dangling her whole body halfway out too. she almost always has some sort of sweet on her, whether it’s sour haribo cherries or strawberry lollipops.

luvs bowie (ONLY aesthetically) n prince (wholeheartedly) n madonna (completely) n anyone tht’s a vintage style icon w little care fr what ppl think.

daisies n poppies r her fav flowers bc daisies r wild n overlooked n poppies r the first thing u look at in a green field. she’s had like 8472493874 ‘relationships’ n none of them hav lasted beyond a month / hav been terrible / hav seen her being treated badly / she’s cheated on them. honestly it’s like a burning train wreck but u can’t quite tear ur eyes away. often the heart of many sordid gossip scandals.

PLOTS:

TBA bc she’s only jst arrived in town i won’t lie to u all but i’m gna whip things up on here anyway n link in chat w updates at some point........ that said? lana is insatiable n it isn’t rly unlikely tht she cld’ve bumped into ur muse in a grocery store aisle n somehow a wild spontaneous adventure spawned frm that alone.......... if u have any immediate ideas we can discuss 😋

[damn-stark]

Skyfall

Bucky Barnes x Fem!reader

Summary: you fell in love with him during the war, but events led you to believe he had died until years later when the unexpected happened. This imagine (series?) is inspired by the song ‘Skyfall by Adele’

A/N- something no one asked for but an idea that has been in mind ;)

Warning- Violence, fluff, angst, swearing

————

He didn’t know what was that instantly captivated him.

Perhaps the way the sun hit your eyes and seemed to have made them sparkle like diamonds. Perhaps the way you walked, with obvious sass.

The smile, perhaps? It was genuine. He knew that, it was easy to read since your eyes smiled too, it was easy to read it on anyone. Especially when one is doing something they love or are around someone they cared for just the same. To him it was always when he was doing this or when he was around Steve. And with you, he had to guess it was this chatting with the other nurses or helping people after a battle. Assuring them after you had helped them with their wounds and ease their pains.

What he wouldn’t give to be hurt to at least get to talk to you without seeming to be some weird creep prying on a beautiful girl.

Hey, maybe someone could step on his foot? It’s happened and it hurts like a bitch, but hey, at least then he would have an excuse. But he also knew he needed to be more smooth or else he knew his friends would make fun of him. Maybe he could say something as simple as “hello” but he also wanted to come off as more charming. What could he do?

He took a couple steps forward towards the tent you were in, just simply wanting to go off by whatever came out, but then as he was making his way he caught something that gave him a good excuse.

“No, promise you’ll be fine.” You assure a soldier as he began to struggle under the hold of a different nurse and you. The effort beginning to tick you off as it was only an injection. “It’s just one injection, you’ve dealt with far worse.” You press the blond tall soldier down with all the strength you could manage and let your eyes dart to the nurse, giving her a nod to signal that it’s okay to get it ready as you managed the soldier.

He didn’t say anything, but all his fighting and throwing his arms said far enough. It honestly made you want to do something else and almost made you hit the weak points on his bicep and elbow, but you stopped once you caught sight of someone coming your way to quickly come up behind the man’s head to help press him down to the bed and keep still, letting the other nurse have her chance to inject the shot. The action made the struggling man groan loudly but stop once the needle was out.

“See,” you mutter, hiding your annoyance with a tight lipped smile, “nothing. All done. Free to go.” The blond soldier said nothing as he got off the bed and basically ran out of the tent. Letting you thank the nurse who seemed to be busy admiring the other soldier with the well sculpted jaw beside you. “Thank you Jaime for the help.” She does nothing but blink to look at you, smiling before nodding and walking off, finally making you turn to look at the young looking brunette man beside you, noticing that he had turned at the same time you had. Letting noticing how handsome he was. “Thank you, uh…”

“Sergeant Barnes. But my friends call me Bucky.”

You smile warmly and look down to hide the heat you felt grow under your cheeks. “Okay, thank you then Bucky.” You lift your gaze to meet his, noticing how beautifully blue they were, they almost seemed to sparkle like diamonds against the sun or like a clear blue lake when the sun reflects off it. It was a feature that made you feel increadibly flustered.

“I haven’t seen you before, are you new?” He asked curiously, his eyes following yours as you began to put stuff away.

You shrug, looking down at the tray in your hands as you hesitated for a moment, “....you can say that. I’m new here but not new to war.” You turn again and smile softly. “Thank you for helping with the soldier, you would think a soldier who fights in a war wouldn’t be afraid of a tiny needle.”

Bucky grins and lets out a lighthearted huff of air, “I think phobias are harder to get over even in the acts of war.”

“I guess you’re right,” you chuckle, biting your bottom lip slightly as you feel the heat rise on your cheeks, noticing that his attention was unwavering and he always seemed to have that charming smile on his face; “if there's anything I could do to thank you...”

“You could get a drink with me, once we get to a place there's a nice bar of course.” He interjected smugly.

Feeling your cheeks burn hotter you nod and smile brightly, “of course, sounds like a date.”

——

Years laters

“Natasha, did you place the playback?” You ask through your ear piece as you lift the scope up to your eye, seeing a car go up flames and seeing the redhead you were questioning jump out of her hiding spot to kick the masked man you knew as The Winter soldier, ultimately the sight answering your question. But also not leaving you a clean shot to hit the long haired man as Natasha got in the shot.

You groaned and dragged yourself closer to the ledge, seeing as their fight happened too fast for you to get a clean shot. There would be one second where it looked like he was going to stop but he then moved to pursue after Natasha, getting out of the view from your scope and making you have to look away or wait. There was never a moment where he would just stay still. You were asked to stay on the rooftop but there was nothing to do to help from so high. So instead you looked to the ground again and saw Steve’s familiar shield quickly pass by, letting you come to the decision to instead go down and run to the scene where the shots were sounding from.

Advicing the crowd to run away from the scene as you headed towards it. Finally seeing Steve fighting The Winter soldier on the street.

A smirk grows on your lips seconds after you see Steve’s shield stuck on the van's door, both men distracted from it and from spotting you, making it the perfect chance for you to head towards it and rip it out of the van door. And as you hear Steve grunt and something scratch the car you move around and see Steve flip the masked man to the ground, leaving an open for you to throw the shield to hit the man in the torso.

The hard hit made him stumble and snap his head to notice you; making your smirk widen and for you to raise one hand to pull out a sword sheathed on your back. The mystery man glares at you and tries to pick up the shield that had fallen to the ground, but Steve was fast and hit him from behind. Causing the man to turn and fight Steve, whilst you swiftly moved and slid on the ground to grab the shield before calling to your best friend; “Steve!”

Said man eyes look to you and then to the shield that you threw to his ready hand. The edge of the shield hitting The Winter soldier and causing a pained groan to leave his lips before coming after you. He pulled his dagger out and tried to stab you but you blocked it with the edge of your sword, barely catching sight of him letting go of the dagger and catching it with the same hand seconds later. Swinging rather quickly but again blocked by your sword.

You lift your gun and point at him pretending to want to shoot him, but instead you kick him back towards Steve, who catches his metal arm and breaks through only part of the metal. The action letting him remove the shield from the metal arm and throw it upward to smack his face, following by spinning to his other side and grabbing his jaw tightly to flip him over.

Causing The winter soldier to roll on the ground and for the mask to fall off his face. He quickly recovered however and stood to his feet, finally facing you to reveal something shocking.

Your eyes widened as your jaw went agape after the gasp that left your lips as you swore you heard your heart burst inside your chest.

You don’t believe it at first, you don’t want to because he was supposed to be dead. But you also knew his face, you remembered every detail. You’ve only missed him for years and only saw him through memories in your mind. It would be impossible to forget the man you loved and hadn’t stopped loving even as time passed.

It was him.

It was unmistakably him.

And without noticing he had turned, Steve had noticed the same thing and he and you uttered the same name simultaneously in the same shell-shocked manner. “Bucky?”

[passcridae]

Saturday, 20th March 2021; late night Hearts territory; a bar

“My husband left me!” the man declared with a flourish and a laugh, throwing his arms dramatically in the air before bringing them to settle in a loop around Sparrow’s shoulders.

“Did he, now?” Sparrow replied, his grin lopsided and charming, playing that he didn’t already know.

The husband had been the one to pay him, after all.

The post-chaotic comedown in the wake of Airang was proving to be a lucrative one for your average freelance killer, and Sparrow, above-average as he was, found his contacts flush with offers. A positive embarrassment of wandering hearts and philandering eyes were brought to unflattering light the morning after the mists ravaged the streets, and those with enough cash to burn and pure vitriol in their veins apparently wouldn’t let the injustices stand.

Still, Sparrow had been picky as he always was; he didn’t make it this far without being discerning. No figures too public, those had the potential to attract unwanted attention; highranked carried a hefty extra fee few could afford without being highranked themselves. It took a few days before Sparrow eventually alighted on one that intrigued him: Tann, the human husband of a midranked Heart, one who apparently felt scorned enough to open his pocketbook wide. Sparrow wondered if the man would lose a rank when he reached out to collect the remainder of his fee.

Tann hadn’t been difficult to find, already half-drunk at a mixed-rank bar that trended lower. The last two rounds Sparrow had purchased for him, and by now they were more than cozy at the far end of the bar, around the corner from the door and granted some measure of privacy in the shadows.

“He did, yeah. After Airang.” Tann withdrew his arms, though one hand ran purposefully down Sparrow’s arm before reclaiming his drink. “What a fucking mess. Right? People are saying that they saw whoever they loved most, reflected on everyone else’s faces.”

Sparrow inclined his head half a degree, curious. He hadn’t been paying much attention to the rumors, but it made sense people were comparing notes after the fact to try and make a modicum of sense of everything. “Really.” He considered for a moment, slow smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I didn’t see anyone who wasn’t right in front of me.”

Except every now and then, a flash of unruly blond hair; sometimes, he thought he’d smelled sulfur.

“Me neither,” Tann replied with a similarly mischievous tug of a grin, dragging a lazy thumb along Sparrow’s jaw. “Thought I’d been falling out of love with him for months, to be honest. So I came clean about it. Now, well.” His finger caught Sparrow’s chin, which the Shifter tilted obligingly. “I’m soon to be divorced.”

“Hell of a pickup line,” Sparrow countered, his smile roguish.

They both laughed, and the night wore on. Sparrow was starting to think the innuendo-laced smalltalk might drive him insane before Tann produced a small envelope that Sparrow easily recognized as yurei, and quickly reclaimed the Shifter’s wandering attention.

“I haven’t used this stuff much,” Tann admitted, thumb popping the top fold of the envelope open. “Riven -- my husband--”

“Ex-husband,” Sparrow helpfully supplied.

“Ex-husband.” Tann smiled and shook his head. “Never much approved.”

“Well, in case you haven’t noticed, I ain’t Riven.” Sparrow nodded towards the envelope. “And I very much approve.”

Simply put, it was going to make his job so much easier.

“Mm,” Sparrow hummed as he shook his head, catching Tann lightly by the wrist before the man could tip any of the powdered yurei into his palm. Instead he brought the other man’s fingertips to his lips, eyelashes masking his gaze as he dragged the flat of his tongue along the pad of Tann’s index finger. The man appeared to be a quick study as Sparrow met his gaze then nodded towards the envelope, dipping his finger in to collect the powder on his fingertip. Sparrow didn’t bother to mask the look in his eyes this time as he took Tann’s finger into his mouth, the yurei sweet on his tongue as his teeth grazed teasingly along Tann’s skin.

Tann returned the favor, Sparrow feigning a smile as lips closed around his own finger. It was a struggle to suppress the way his skin crawled every time their eyes met, seeing the clear expectations in Tann’s heavy gaze. The man was in for a great deal of disappointment, if he thought he knew how this night was going to end. 

It became quickly and readily apparent that Tann wasn’t kidding when he said he hadn’t used yurei much; Sparrow had to wonder if it was the man’s first time, for how garbage his tolerance appeared to be. A little embarrassing, but still: it’d only make his job that much easier. Within half an hour Tann was getting incoherent and handsy which, while irritating, was exactly where Sparrow wanted him.

Now, finally, he was able to put months of grueling practice to a more practical use.

The partial shift was visible to no one, but Sparrow knew the moment it was working; venom glands swelled in the space just behind his cheekbones and beneath his eyes, an uncomfortable but not unfamiliar stinging blooming in his skull. He caught one of Tann’s hands as it made another clumsy grab for the nape of Sparrow’s neck, the both of them laughing until Tann’s died away, the man losing his focus to the way Sparrow’s lips now met the inside of his wrist to trail lingering, open-mouthed kisses.

Fangs slowly elongated behind those soft, wandering lips, lips that eventually drew back just enough that Sparrow could sink the barest tips of his fangs into Tan’s skin. It’d taken a lot of practice, being able to control just how much venom he injected into a victim; thankfully it was something he’d worked tirelessly on in a full shift, such that adapting it to partial use only took a couple weeks’ worth of practice on his own. The prick of his fangs would feel like little more than a nip of affection, the drops of venom evaporating into Tann’s bloodstream without so much as a brief sting.

As Sparrow drew away, though, and let the fangs shift back to simple canines, he felt it: a single drop of his own venom, weighty and bitter, landing to mix with the sweetness of yurei on his tongue.

Sparrow froze. Tann was laughing and saying something Sparrow didn’t care enough to hear, the words distant as his mind raced. Snakes were immune to their own venom, but he hadn’t considered: did his snake side recognize his human side as him? Would that venom still consider them one and the same? Or would he have to find a way out of here very quickly in order to do a proper shift?

A few long, drawn-out moments passed. Tann was saying his name, or rather -- he was saying the fake name Sparrow had given him. Still, Sparrow waited as his heart thudded in his ears. Eventually, he refocused on Tann with a hard, critical eye, one the human flinched under the foreign weight of. Already Tann’s brow was beaded with sweat, and his movements were more sluggish than one ought to expect simply from drink or yurei.

Sparrow felt nothing. Eventually he eased back into a smile and Tann relaxed again, even if his answering laugh was weaker. He still made another attempt to pull Sparrow in for a kiss, and this time, Sparrow let him.

By the time Sparrow abandoned his target, Tann’s head was pillowed on the bar, unconscious. The rest of the envelope of yurei had been tipped into what was left of his drink, the powder dissolving with a sickly-sweet potency. An intentional overdose, some might think, carried out by a desperate man on the brink of divorce. Others might wonder at an overzealous rookie, inexperienced with yurei’s strength. Sparrow didn’t particularly care after the assumptions of others since no one was likely to figure out the truth, not with such minute traces of venom in the man’s system. It’d taken next to nothing to do the job: he was only human, after all. Kadeu would hardly mourn his passing, if it even noticed at all.