#if i had a nickel for every time i collected one‚ i'd have two nickels‚ which isn't very many‚ but it's weird that it happened twice...

[i-dreamed-i-had-a-son]

So much of my impression of Reed Richards as autistic in the new Fantastic Four movie comes from Pedro Pascal's delivery. The way he chooses to say these lines makes such a difference--like "I am that smart" or "Anyone can build a crib, only I can build this" could EASILY have made him read as an a-hole, but Pedro's Reed says them with a sincerity that feels very autistic to me. He's not bragging or being snide, he's just stating the truth, and there's even a lot of gentleness in it. (And, I mean, come on, his confusion about the extra screws for the crib? "They included two extra...I have no idea why." He meant that!) His argument with Ben about how "cooking is more of an art than a math or a science" and how he failed his driver's test because of "poorly placed signage" (I love him) could have felt pedantic or prideful, but he says them with this sweet, almost abashed feeling that feels very genuine and familiar.

His reactions to Sue's pregnancy and the press post-Galactus excursion also read as autistic: he is clearly feeling a lot, but he isn't sure how to express it, so with Sue it comes out as immediately moving to problem-solving ("we'll have to design tests to account for our mutated DNA--") and with the press it shows up as reassurance-seeking: even though he's at the mic, he is constantly looking over at his family as if they could tell him what he should say. They even do end up answering some questions for him, and the most he says without a very long pause is his first comment: "I'm sorry we don't have a prepared statement" (which because of its delivery also feels very autistic).

And there's also his face, which is highlighted as very expressive in contrast to his fairly monotone voice. "I finally crossed it off the list," is said very simply and without context (true autistic information-sharing lol) but when Johnny jokes with him afterwards about taking back all the bad things he's said, Reed's face is telegraphing that he doesn't know how much of it is a joke. And at the start of the film, it's joked that his face is what gives away the pregnancy. (Not to mention Ben's joke about being surprised Reed isn't in panic-induced sweats and his reply that "I had that scheduled for later"...sir. You're not dodging the allegations)

Even in his fight with Sue the entirety of what he says is just so autistic to me. "I don't dream, I don't wonder. I let all of the worst things into my head, because it's my job to think of the bad things so that we can do them to them before they do them to us!" and Sue responds, "It's not your job, it's you." And he immediately agrees. And when Sue says "Sometimes, you being you hurts me," he can only pause and say "I don't mean to..." And Sue responds, "I know." And both of them feel so honest in how they say these lines! Reed really doesn't mean to hurt her, of course he doesn't, but he also doesn't know any other way to be, and he doesn't know how to make it hurt her less, and you can feel that he's really at a loss for what to do. Thankfully he is met with understanding, but the experience of the way you are and how you function being something that can hurt other people without your intending to or being able to help it is extremely relatable to autistic people. On top of this interaction, Reed feels like his whole family's pain is his fault, because he "should have known" that the suits "were...inadequate"--self-blame which makes him even more relatable.

And then there's the heartbreaking scene with him and Franklin where he quietly tells him, "I hope you're not like me. There's something wrong with me...always has been." It wasn't just the mutated DNA that made Reed feel wrong. He says he's always felt that way. There's nothing more autistic than that.

Anyway yeah I'm used to Reed feeling like a colder, less-emotional version of Tony Stark, but Pedro Pascal really breathes new life into this character. He is anxious and particular and warm and very, very autistic.

[bloodtwin]

the reassurance does not have the effect she intended, but puck does his best to conceal that. to hide the sudden queasiness he feels.

never too much. how can she possibly know ？how can he possibly explain it in a way to make her understand but not make her tremble ？he is walking a dangerous path, foolishly dragging her along with him. she's blindfolded, utterly in the dark, & he's pretending to guide her. acting like he'll keep her safe. if he really wanted to keep her safe, he'd remove the blindfold for her to see him as he really is.

but her yawn distracts him. ( he lets it distract him. ) so adorable, he thinks, a yawn of his own coming on in response. it sounds vaguely like the roar of a lion ⸻ if the lion were very sleepy. such a vulnerable display but unwittingly intimidating in the process. normally flashing his fangs is a threat, but now he can't help the number of tiny daggers he shows off.

the yawn turns into a snort at her comment. briefly, he buries his face in the crook of her neck as if to hide, but it was only to plant more kisses there too. then she's pulling his wandering lips to hers & though she nips at him he can't bring himself to kiss her too roughly in return. still needy in his own way, but gentle & tender.

he looks down at her with quite the smug grin now. ❝ well, i wouldn't stop you if you tried, but i could never compare you to a squirrel. a panther, maybe. ❞ a pause. his head tilts in thought. ❝ i suppose you'll need to give me more bruises in that case. to ensure the tale matches the evidence, of course. ❞

"No, Puck. Not too much. You're never too much." She's able to say this now, when she feels safe, when she feels nurtured. When she has yet to understand what really lurks behind quaint puppy-dog eyes. If she saw the depth of it … if she could understand raw brutality … if she knew him … what would she say?

But, for the time being, she doesn't know, and what she says is that she trusts him.

Shadowheart yawns; a graceless sound, goofy and content. She's shed away all pretense of a devout priestess. He is not sharing a tent with some high and mighty Sharran of the dark, but a woman with droopy eyes and a lazy smile, staring at him as if he holds all of life's answers. As if he would ebb away her deepest fears, and align the world in a way she might finally understand. How bad can things really be when everything that matters sits right here in her bed? Kissing her so sweetly?

"Who's to say what the others will think, though. If I lie and say I fought off a rabid boar, we might still avoid the embarrassment." It's hollow joking on her part. She'd never be embarrassed of this. Of him. Not anymore. If anything, she might choose to flaunt it. Bedding the camp's handsomest bachelor … oh, the looks on all their faces when they find out.

Hands cup both his cheeks, dragging him back down. She molds her lips to his, a kiss still thick with remnants of want. Shadowheart has never labelled herself as greedy, but Puck seems to bring out the worst in her. She doesn't let him pull away, not for several moments. Her teeth catch his bottom lip, nibbling it, then she pries him off, if only to drink in the sight of him for the hundredth time.

"Might not be too late for you. If I place a bruise right here —" A finger to his pulse. "It could still be there by the time breakfast rolls around. And you'll tell everyone you got to fight off a rabid squirrel."

[muddyorbsblr]

everybody's watching him…but he's looking at you

'one look and they'll know' collection masterlist See my full list of works here!

Placement: morning after 'after hours visits'

Summary: Old scars start hurting once again in the wake of your brazen and disrespectful visitor from the night before, and Tom's there to comfort you…on and off the field

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Warnings: 18+ | smut (minors & pearl clutchers, exit stage left); unprotected p in v sex; morning sex; insecure Reader in the first scene; language; sleazy pervy teammates [let me know if I missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: established relationship

Dick-tionary: smut starts at "He moved his large hand" and ends at "nothing but a distant memory"

You and Tom were once again woken up by the blaring of your alarm filling the room, your boyfriend adorably groaning before tightening his arm around you in a near perfect repeat performance of yesterday morning.

"Do you have to be at the briefing room early again today?" he grumbled, his fingertips tracing up and down along your spine. "Draw names again?"

"No…" you sighed, your tone immediately making him tense up.

"Sweetheart?" He tilted your head to look up at him, his sleepy eyes gradually becoming more alert as he met your gaze. He moved your hair away from your face, tucking the stubborn front strands behind your ear. "What's wrong? You look like you haven't slept."

"I couldn't," you blurted out, wincing the second the words came out of your mouth.

"What's wrong?"

There was a lump at your throat so large you could barely choke out the words. You already felt like shit making him worry about you like this, you didn't want to make it worse.

"Please talk to me, my love," he whispered, tracing this thumb along your lower lip before bringing you closer to press a kiss to your forehead. "I won't much help if I'm flying blind. Something's eating at you and--"

"Why aren't you tired of me yet?" The words just flew out of your mouth, your voice tiny and if you were being completely honest with yourself…you were embarrassed that you'd even allowed the question to take over your thoughts to the point of sleeplessness. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have--"

Before you could say anything else, he tightened his arm around you and sat up, positioning you so that you were sitting on his thighs.

"I should have seen it," he whispered, concern filling his eyes as he traced the lines of your face. "That woman's words from last night, they got to you. Affected you in a way neither of us thought of preparing for."

"Sweetie, this isn't on you." You did your best to just wave off the conversation, placing your hands on his shoulders and trying to work at the now tense muscles. "I know we've been through this before, we don't have to do it again, I shouldn't have said any--"

"Stop." He wrapped his hands around your wrists, stopping you from what you were doing. "It doesn't matter if we've had this conversation before, if we have to, then we'll have it again. As many times as you need." He gave a quick tug and your chests were pressed together, his arms snaking around your back and offering you no escape. "I love you." He pressed a kiss to your lips. "Only you. You know that, right?"

"I do, I really do. I just--I didn't realize how bad what happened last night fucked me up until I realized I couldn't close my eyes without reliving…" You took a shaky breath, the memories of the last serious relationship you had before Tom trying to drown you. "Without reliving what happened before. I mean…if I had a nickel every time a would-be homewrecker knocked on my boyfriend's hotel room door dressed in lingerie, I'd have two nickels. And that's just the ones that I know about."

He didn't say anything in return. He just proceeded to press light kisses across your face, holding you tighter against him. "My sweet goddess," he whispered into your skin, sighing when he'd kissed his way to your lips. "No one will ever succeed in luring me away from you. If you only knew how in every moment I have to myself, all I can think about is having you with me again…" He kissed along your collarbone, repeatedly whispering your name and declarations of love with every kiss.

"God why do you even put up with me I can't be that good in bed--" You let out a yelp as he flipped your positions on the bed, your back landing on the mattress with a soft thud.

"You should know by now that nobody gets to talk about the love of my life like that. Even you, sweetheart." He latched his lips onto the spot between your neck and shoulder that had you weak and squirming beneath him. "I've known since before our first night together, before you first kissed me, that I would spend my future loving you. Regardless of how you felt for me. I resigned myself to the fact that part of me was forever yours before you ever let me share your bed."

"Sweetie…" How was it that he somehow always knew how to draw you back from that dangerous ledge your mind often went to? "How are you not sick of handling my stupid little moments yet?"

"Firstly, they're not stupid. I would never belittle your fears like this," he mumbled into your neck, working his arm underneath you to lift your hips off the bed and pull you closer as you writhed underneath him. "And secondly…I quite like handling you." You felt him smirking against your skin at the squeal that hitched at the back of your throat. "Comforting you, loving you, is not and will never be a chore for me."

As he captured your lips in another soft, slow kiss, his words from last year began to echo in the back of your mind all over again. I know you're not ready yet, but I want you to know that I am. I've always been.

The guilt sat heavy in your heart knowing that you knew exactly where he was and where he wanted to go, and yet you couldn't bring yourself to stop looking at your life in complete disbelief. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. It happened before, what was stopping the universe from making it happen again?

"I'm still scared that one day I'm gonna wake up and you've disappeared," you confessed when he pulled away, inwardly wincing at how pathetic the words made you feel. "I haven't been as afraid the last few years but last night…it brought all those fears back to the surface I mean what if I wasn't here when she showed up--"

"Then I would have told her that I'm in a happily committed relationship and I have no need for anyone else. I would have turned her away," he said, answering your unfinished question. He laid you back down flat on the bed, proceeding to kiss his way down your body, stopping when his lips hovered over your heart. "I need you to know that I'm not going anywhere. That I'm yours for as long as I live. You're the last woman I'm going to love."

You inwardly cursed at yourself for still being unable to say the words, the sentiment still refusing to move past the lump in your throat. I'm on the same page with you. I want to be yours for the rest of my life. Can I keep you?

Instead you lifted a shaky hand to weave through his short dark blond curls, finding yourself breathing a touch easier when you heard him sighing in contentment at your touch. "You should know I feel the same way. I'm no good with words but I'm getting there I'm trying I really am--"

"You don't have to say anything right now, sweetheart. When you're ready, and only when you're ready, I will be right here with you. I always will." 

He moved his large hand down the side of your body, curling around your knee to hook your leg around his waist. Your moans began to fill the room when he lowered his head and captured your nipple between his lips, licking and sucking it into a stiff peak. "What're you--"

"What time do you have to start wakeup calls?"

The words threw you in for a loop, your mind stumbling and scrambling to recall your morning schedule. Briefing room by 8, players should be in the field by 7:45, twenty to thirty minutes to run across the hotel and get to the other three players assigned to me…

"7:15," you said between heaving breaths, letting out another moan when he repeated his attentions on your other breast.

"Then we have time…" he mumbled, kissing his way back up to your lips, a devilish grin painted across his devastatingly handsome features. "We'll leave this room together and I'll go to the field, then you can go start the rest of your wakeup calls."

You started to whimper and moan against his lips as he started to roll his hips into yours, already feeling his quickly hardening member rubbing against your entrance. "Wait sweetie I still have to take a shower, change my clothes." Dammit Y/N keep your mouth shut why are you turning down morning sex, you absolute buffoon, you hissed at yourself. "I can't go to the field smelling like sex--"

"We can shower together," he answered back smoothly, stealing another kiss from you before speaking again. "And I packed a change of clothes for you for this exact scenario."

"And what scenario is that?" you asked him breathlessly, a thrill running through your whole body as he stroked your thighs before parting them the slightest bit more and settling his hips between them. Your hand slammed down on the mattress, gripping the sheets when you felt the tip of his length rubbing up and down between your folds, teasing your entrance.

"The one where I want to keep you in bed a little while longer," he rasped, starting to inch his way inside you, letting out a shuddering breath before pressing a kiss to your shoulder. "We're not leaving this room until last night's insolent visitor is nothing but a distant memory."

There must have been an angel smiling down on both you and Tom today, seeing as you were assigned to work the field again, even functioning as an assistant cameraperson as a few people from one of the crews set to shoot footage of today's Training Week events fell ill.

You were set to assist in filming the penalty shootout later on in the afternoon, handling a relatively smaller camera that would focus on the players watching rather than the players shooting for the home dressing room. For the morning, however, you were mostly guiding the photographers through the field, ensuring that they were at a safe enough distance so that the chances of them getting hit by a stray ball were significantly slimmer.

"Oi, if you stare a little harder your eyes'll burn a hole through 'er head," Jill's voice broke Tom out of his thoughts, elbowing him lightly when he stole one last glance at you before running into the playing area.

When he finally got to his teammates, his skin brisled at the discovery that they too were staring shamelessly at you, talking about the little mouth-shaped bruises that peppered your neck and chest. It didn't help that he might have added to that count this morning while he was comforting you.

"I mean if she didn't want us to look then she woulda worn something that doesn't show off her tits so much. And those hickeys are practically a red neon arrow going Look over here, gents."

Tom shut his eyes, making a conscious effort to unclench his jaw before facing them, putting on a whole performance as he smiled at them and pretended he didn't want to conveniently forget that he was a gentleman and strike them clean across their cheek. "Lads," he greeted them through gritted teeth masked as a smile. "Shall we proceed with some drills?"

"In a minute, Y/L/N is about to lean down and--No, come on sweet thing, move your hand outta the way!" The loud holler from his teammate had you snapping your head in their direction, and he could see your neck visibly tensing when you saw his teammate with hands cupped over his mouth, not even bothering to seem ashamed of the distasteful remark.

You were called over to a table by the bleachers, and finally the immature lewd comments about you seemed to stop and they all proceeded with drills for a short while. If only his teammates hadn't once again opened their mouths once they paused to take a break.

"You gents think she and her boyfriend would be opposed to a threesome? Too pretty of a thing for just one man to keep to himself."

Another one chimed in. "Downright greedy is what it is. Everyone should have the God given right to see a mouth that sinful stuffed with--"

"You know, I really don't think her boyfriend would appreciate hearing you all talk about her like she's some sentient sex doll," he finally blurted out, fighting the urge to clench his fists as his heart thundered in his chest.

"Pssh come on, I know you have your woman but even you with your A-list standards have to admit that she's a looker."

She is and she's mine, he inwardly seethed. "You can appreciate someone's beauty without being so crass about it."

"Loosen up a little, Thomas. Pretty sure her boyfriend would be proud knowing nearly every man with a pulse here wants a go at that. And it's not like he can even hear us, whoever the lucky bastard is." His teammate sighed as he looked over at that table again, making Tom hold himself back with all his strength as he watched him so brazenly adjust his shorts in front of everyone in the field. "Just one night. Lucky bastard just gotta share for one night."

Your words from last night rang loud and clear in his mind. He refused to let this go on. It was time to make things less private.

"Actually the lucky bastard can hear you all just fine," he announced loud enough for all the horny assholes to snap their heads to look at him. "And I can tell you right now neither of us are open to sharing."

"You know…I didn't see you come back to the room this morning," Simone commented with a teasing tone when she passed by the table you were sat at. "Not to be a bit of a Nosy Nancy but…if your clothes were with us, where'd you--"

"Boyfriend," you answered simply, smiling at the memory of this morning's shower with Tom in his room. And the numerous, extensive kisses you shared before parting ways for the morning. "Apparently he kept an outfit change for me in his luggage. Contingencies."

"Nice boyfriend," Joelah commented, plopping down on the seat next to you and jutting her chin toward the laptop in front of you. "Whatchu workin' on?" Before you could answer, she placed a hand on your shoulder, making you face her as she silently counted the marks on your neck and chest. "Fuckin' A you weren't kidding about your boyfriend thinkin' he's a vampire do you have more…"

"I do," you answered with a little chuckle, giving them a casual shrug. "The ones from earlier haven't even started showing yet--"

"What?!" Joelah and Simone all but shrieked, eyes wide and jaws on the ground as the former waved Douglas over. "Please tell me you know something about who the mystery man is, we still have three guesses."

The player shrugged in response. "All I know is that Jill knows and she refuses to share with the class. Just said something about if we paid enough attention we woulda figured it out by now because, and I quote, it's 'damn near impossible to miss the smitten on that man'."

"Honestly you guys Jill just basically dropped a name and asked me point blank if we were a thing," you offered, giving them a tiny smile. "So I said yes." You turned your gaze back to Joelah. "As for your earlier question, I'm doing security penetration testing on the auction site for the match-worn jerseys. Trying to make sure no one can just insert their bid without actually putting in the money and all that."

You turned back to the laptop to go through a few more test cases before sending over a checklist of some more advanced attacks for the development team to test out, as you wouldn't have enough time in the day to spare in this consult for those. From the corner of your eye you saw Joelah lean back in her chair, facing the England team.

"Ungh Don't talk about penetrating right now, babes, it's making me think things" she groaned, the frustration in her tone so potent you could practically hear her pout. "Unholy things. For a certain Player Number 6 with that obscenely tight jersey and that arse I mean just fuck me running look at the sheer power in those moves."

Without looking up from your computer you darted your eyes toward the field to sneak a fleeting glance at Tom, the stupidly tight shirt you masterminded him into stretched so tight across his back muscles you could see the definition even from this far, and his stance putting his ass and thighs on borderline sluttish display. You had to purse your lips and bite back your words before you voiced a similar sentiment, only yours mentioning that you knew exactly what power those legs held while he took you against the shower wall earlier this morning.

"Ohh Christ on a bike was I too loud?"

"I don't think so," you answered her, typing away your findings and starting on your final test. "Why what's up?"

"He's looking at the table, I'm no better than those horny asshats making crude comments at you I feel like a right knob--Wait…hold on…" She pointed at herself and you heard a faint "Me?" coming from her before she started patting your shoulder to call your attention. "Never mind he's not looking at me I think he wants to talk to you."

That was enough to make you look up completely from what you were doing, meeting your boyfriend's gaze from ten yards away. You gave him a tiny smile, raising your eyebrow in a playful questioning look. He raised his hand and gave you a little wave, prompting you to do the same.

He then started to mouth a message to you that had your breath catching in your throat with a borderline inhuman sound. I. Love. You.

"Wait hold on--?!" Simone shrieked from the side. You could hear that she and Joelah had clasped their hands together like best friends in a high school hallway, watching one of their own getting a Promposal.

"What?" you mouthed back, barely able to hold back the smile that was pulling at your mouth. What he did next had you breaking out into a full on toothy grin, joyful tears prickling at the back of your eyes.

He cupped his hands over his mouth and hollered his message again. "I said I love you, Y/N!"

You felt the air leave your lungs, unable to hold back your joy as you saw that heartbreakingly handsome face beaming at you. With cupped hands over your own mouth, you hollered back at him, "I love you, too!"

A hand clasped around yours, and Joelah looked at you with wide excited eyes. "He's--??"

"He's the boyfriend," you confirmed with a vigorous nod of your head. The other women looked at you jaws slack and silently prompting you to give up some more details. "Going on seven years."

"So he did all…" Douglas motioned at all the marks on your chest. "That??"

"And the ones that haven't started showing yet," you shot back with a cheeky wink.

"Ohh my lordy me I just realized," Joelah gasped. "Keeping things low key?! You already told us before and we were just being so fucking dense about it! You were so slick with that!" You only gave her a little shrug, giving yet another confirmation, before she jutted her chin again to point at something behind you. "Your man's coming over."

You took a breath before turning to see Tom breaking into a light jog making his way to you, immediately reaching for your hands when he got close enough. "Hello, sweetheart," he said with a heaving breath, the exhilaration radiating off him in waves as he moved his hands up your arms until he got to your shoulders. "You looked so tense, I needed to check on you." Once your shoulders relaxed he wrapped an arm around your waist, grasping your chin with his free hand, coaxing you to unclench your jaw. "Are you alright, goddess?"

"I am now," you sighed contentedly, feeling the tension steadily leaving your body with each passing second. "Thank you for checking on me."

He leaned in, brushing his nose against yours. "I'm here for you, my love. Always," he said softly, framing your face in his hands. "But now that I'm here, perhaps I could…steal just a little kiss?" He looked at you with those pleading eyes that never failed to get you weak in the knees.

"You know I can't say no to you…especially when you ask so nicely." You barely had time to take in a breath before he braced his hand behind your back, tilting his head to close the remaining inches of distance between you and press his lips to yours.

The faint sound of the ladies next to you clapping and squealing surrounded you, made louder when he splayed his hands at your upper back and your hip before dipping you. He smiled against your lips when you let out a muted squeal of your own.

Jill's voice broke through your moment, remind you both exactly where you were. "Alright adorable as you two are, get your arse back out on that field, Hiddleston. You can kiss your girlfriend all you want after today's training."

You giggled from your position, holding on to his shoulders as your upper back rested perfectly comfortably on his thigh, as he pulled away with numerous soft pecks to your lips. "I love you," he whispered against your lips, pressing one more kiss before righting both your stances.

"I love you, too," you said back, unable to wipe the smile off your face as he jogged toward the field. Once you turned to face the rest of the women at the table, the sound of a frustrated shriek and stomping on cement hit your ears. Followed by a distant 'It's not fair!!' that had you all laughing amongst yourselves before Jill called out to Douglas to get back on the field as well.

Later that night you knocked on Tom's hotel room door, a look of slight concern on your boyfriend's face as he eyed the bag in your hand before a smile graced his features, realizing why you had your luggage with you.

"My roommates kicked me out," you said, making a whole show of sticking out your bottom lip in a little pout. "Something about it being pointless to keep my things there if I don't sleep there anyways." You tried to bite back the smile as he stepped toward you, running his hand down your arm until he took the handle of your overnight bag from you. "You don't happen to have a place for me to crash, would you?"

Your giggles filled the hall as he wrapped his other arm around your waist, your feet leaving the ground as he brought you into the room, kicking the door shut. "I only have the one bed," he answered you, his voice raspy as your bag hit the floor with a soft thud. "You'd have to adhere to a few rules, however."

"And what exactly are these rules?" you shot back, failing to stifle your whimper when he laid you down on the bed, smirking down at you as he worked his hands under your shirt.

"First…no clothing." He made quick work to pull your shirt over your head before pressing his lips to your now bared stomach, sucking and biting another bruise onto your skin while he unclasped your bra. "And second…you'll have to sleep in my arms at all times." He kissed his way up your body until his lips ghosted over yours. "Do we have a deal, goddess?"

You closed the last bit of distance between you, pressing your lips to his before answering him. "Always."

A/N: Meow meow protecting his bb is precious and must be protected at all costs. Everyone working the event finally knows and that means we're on to…game day! I might be giving these two a little break though to work on other series and also…the rest of my requests that've been there since 500 followers and we're already here at [information redacted] so…I'm hella late 🤣🤣

'everything' taglist: @simplyholl @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemis @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @anukulee @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog

[imagine-notnatural]

This is set to be after the events of this post, sorry about the out of order posting

Anyways! More on Janitor! Readers (mis)adventures!

When you first arrived on base Michael thought he’d be stuck with a stick in the mud. And for sometime he wasn’t wrong. You went out of your way to avoid too many interactions with him and everyone else really, keeping quiet, letting conversations die, purposely avoiding tasks that required working with him, etc. You were coverless book and your title was incredibly boring so he wasn’t even going to try to crack you open. He didn’t even think the two of you would end up getting along.

But all it took was a graveyard shift, some cereal bars,and him telling you the order in which he poured his cereal for you to decide that you’d die on your hill and disagree with him for the two of you to become friends.(Later inseparable)

Back to now.

It wasn’t often a job called for both of you to work together. So when you’d received the call on your radio to meet with Mikey, you knew you’d be waking up the next day completely sore.

You’d been giving a task that would require the both of you. You were asked to clear out one of the buildings before some of the mechanics had to use it the next day. Michael was practically beaming when he entered the break room to find you reading the board for your charge.

“(Name)! You ready for backbreaking labor?!”

“Born ready, Big-Mike. Brought us snacks and everything,” you gesture to the inside of your olive green jumpsuit. Which is filled packets of pretzels, gummies, and protein bars. You held a couple cold drinks in your hand.

“Ugh! Yes! Do you need a house husband? I could be one if you’re going to be ”

“Not my type. I need my men to have more meat on them-“

“Nope- don’t like this- Let’s go!” He quickly stud up to grab a kart and headed towards the door. You chuckled and followed after him

“I noticed you have a couple pins on your bag when you came in today, did you start to collect them?” Michael asked, pushing forward the cart.

“I did actually. I found one on the street the other day, and when I went to go buy groceries from the farmers market today there was someone with a pop-up. I ended up getting a Perry the Platypus and Doctor Doofenshmirtz pin set and a pin that says ‘Ticket to Pound Town’ I'm planning to give as a gag gift-”

"Isn't that beastiality?" Michael asked with a grimace on his face.

"I can't stress this enough, Mikey, it's two separate ones and one is a gift."

“Oh okay...You know, one of my favorite Doofenshmirtz quotes is the one where he goes ‘It all began on the day of my actual birth, both of my parents failed to show up’”

“Mine’s where he goes ‘If I had a nickel every time I was doomed by a puppet, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot. But it's weird that it happened twice, right?”,”

Michael chuckled, “ I like that one too.”

The two of you continue to chatter on as you make your way to building.

You grab your keys as you arrive at the hangar. Once You'd unlocked and opened the door, you proceeded to turn around to help Michael lift the cart over the door's frame and get it inside. Just as you entered the threshold, you couldn't help the shiver the went down your spine.

"What is it?" Michael questioned, seeing as you'd twitched as you enter the building.

"Nothing, I think I'm just cold." You answered, trying to shake off the unease.

"Come on, if you go high and I go low, we'll probably finish faster."

The two of you nodded in agreement and went your separate ways. Michael grabbing a ladder and you clearing out miscellaneous tools and machinery.

"You should set that stuff outside, if you get the main door up a lil' you'll be able to set it out there." Michael called from the latter.

You took a glance at the front where the hangar's main entrance was, that shouldn't be that hard, you thought to yourself. You let Michael know you'd be right back as you walked over to the side of the door with the lock. You moved through the random assortment of boxes and

You stood frozen, staring down at the creature at your feet. Praying to whatever could hear to keep you from this fate. Alas you were left to fend for your own.

“Michael.”

…

“Michael”

Its antenna twitched innocently. Its beady little eyes shimmered under the the light. Its sleek black grey body reflected light as though it’d been polished.

“Michael! Mike- MICHAEL!”

“(Name)?”

. The beam of light from the overhead fixture seemed to follow it like a stage light follows its cast as it began to scurry, it could almost hear the sound of Tchaikovsky’s Swan lake beginning to play in the background-

“MICHAEL GET OVER HERE!” You jumped back, too frightened to turn around and give it your back. Michael rushed to you, his expression panicked then it turned disapproving as he saw what caused this reaction out of you

Feeling the earth beneath it tremble, it took to the skies

“IT’S FLYING MICHAEL- MICHAEL- AHHH! WHY IS IT FLYING?!”

“(Name), stop running! It’s just a-” the tables turned when it changed direction and headed for him,

“ah- AH WHAT THE-?!”

He quickly turned to the defense, swatting the air frantically. Michael’s words soon turned into incoherent screams as he missed the bug horrendously each time. However, he did not miss the fact that you had left him to deal with the roach on his own.

In tempo with the song in its head, it gracefully dodged every swat, not letting the giant deter it. It’s wings whirred in the air. Its trajectory decided.

“(NAME)! (NAME) hELP ME!” Michael screamed as he turned around to run,

“MIKEY RUN- MIKE, OH MY- MICHAEL I CAN’T-,” You were heaving heavily in a well lit area near the doorway.

“COME THIS WAY!” You cried out, rushing to the door and pushing it open,

The screech that left Michaels body was borderline inhuman as he ducked under the flying creature to get to the exit. He could feel the blood pumping into every muscle in his body worked in unison to get him out of there.

It felt like movie scene, Michael sprinting to the door as the flying cockroach speedily flew after him. You watched in terror as it followed after Michael, having whipped around once he’d managed to get past it.

You watched as Michael ran with all his might towards the door. You readied yourself behind the door.

You’d have to close it after him to save the both of you.

Michael dove through the door, yelling as he did“ CLOSEITCLOSEIT-“

“CLOSE IT!!”

You slammed the door shut once he’d passed through. The buzzing noise made by the flapping of its wings dulled by the thick metal door,

You put your back to the door and watched as Michael rolled over and lifted himself on his elbows, his eyes wide as they met with yours

You stared at each other for what felt like hours but in reality was only seconds

He was the first to crack, Michaels fearful expression had morphed into one of disbelief, then he began with his stifled laugh, and you, not able to not react, began to bite back a smile, then your heavy breath started sounding like laughing. You tried avoiding each others gazes but when you inevitably saw each others faces you couldn’t hold it together any longer.

First he began quiet, so did you. Then you couldn’t help yourself as you got louder, you tried covering your mouth but no avail. Seeing how you failed to keep it together, Michael laughed harder, then you did too.

It continued like that until you were both hysterical.

There was a lot of pointing at each other and keeling over while laughing so hard you couldn’t form coherent words.

“Aw fuck, HAH-, dude how are we gonna get shit done?” Michael wheezed out, finally sitting up. He dusted his elbows off and extended a hand.

“I don’t know but I’m not going back in there unless that’s shits gone,” You grabbed it and hauled him up, “I thought being scared of insects was ‘sTuPid’? Looked like you were just as scared as I was- if not more,”

“(Name), mate, it was flying at me,” he quickly defended, “it was coming straight for me! Of course it scared me!”

“Yeah but when I SAID-“

“YEAH YOU KNOW WHAT?! YEAH BECAUSE WHEN YOU SAID-“

As the two of you began your bickering, you both failed to notice the hulking figure that’d been watching the pair of you losing your minds for the last five minutes . Though who can blame you when his moniker is literally Ghost. It’s implied, I fear.

The pair of you were plenty distracted in your arguing. It wasn’t like he purposely had walked out of the building knowing he’d find the janitors seemingly fighting for their lives. it just happened. And now he was going to take note of it, but leave.

It was this motion that finally caught your attentions’. You paused in the middle of your argument with Michael. He quickly noticed and turned around to follow your gaze. When he saw who you saw, he quickly thought of a solution your problem.

You both turned back at each other, as Ghost’s broad back turned to face you and slowly began shrinking into the distance.

“ you know him, go, Ask him-“

“No I don’t?! I’m not asking him shit-“ you quickly denied

Michael grabbed you by the arm and whipped you around to face him, “ Then are you gonna do it?!” He glared,

“FfffAWK NO”

“WELL ME EITHER, so you go ask that big scary man to deal with it, nOW! HURRY! Before he goes!” He forced you in his direction. You stopped and turned around, you both had a silent battle of wills, your faces your weapons.

When Michael saw you weren’t budging, he merely grabbed the door knob and pointed at you then the door.

You wouldn’t, your face said

Oh yes I would, his seemed to reply

You glared at him before you turned around and began to jog to catch up to the lieutenant.

“Lieutenant- Sir! Lieutenant Riley! Wait-“

You had just turned the corner when you nearly bumped into the man.

As always you couldn’t see much of his face, baklava and what not. But you could see his eyes when he turned around and look down at you, he had a quirked eyebrow for a brief moment when he turned around

“What?” As if his figure wasn’t intimidating enough, that deep voice of his and the heaviness of his gaze on you surely were when your nerves were practically fried.

“Hi, Hello, good evening, uh, okay… I’d… if you have the time…there this- and I’ll-“

His eyebrows furrowed and you could explode right then and there

“ Wait okay,” you sighed, your hand squeezing the bridge of your nose, you dragged that same hand down your face before continuing,

“We don’t really know each other, I know this, you know this, but I need a favor-” your hands clapped together nervously, “ I restock y’all’s rec room in two days so whatever you want or need, I can get it for you, and if not that-“

For a moment he stood there just watching you squirm. Watching the way your face changed and how you continued to rattle on. You’re a fidgety speaker when nervous, just as Johnny had said. Your hands moving to accentuate your words or tug at the fabric of your jumpsuit. At this very second, one hand pointed a finger at him

“ and I’d say you at the very least owe me for the two times you scared the absolute shit out if me-“

He hadn’t even realized he’d zoned out starting at you until your hands handed on either side of your hips

“So you in or out?”

You stared at each other for a few seconds before Simon nodded,

You mentally dropped to your knees in gratitude before thanking him quickly and having him follow you to the old hangar where Michael was pacing out side the door.

When he caught sight of the lieutenant walking after you, his face visibly brightened. “ You’re the best!” He whispered shouted at you as you neared,

You had half a mind to flip him off but decided against it. You continued to the door, and turned ‘round to ensure the giant had followed after you.

The big guy is impossibly quiet, you’d thought to yourself on your walk over. And now that you stopped at the door you’d realized you hadn’t heard a single step of his.

“It’s inside, we just need you to kill it-“

“Sir, if you happen on any others feel free to get those too while you’re at it.” Michael added, his hands balled into the pockets of his jacket.

“You shut up,” you pointed an angry finger at him before turning back to Ghost with a pleading smile, “ but also what he said,”

You could’ve sworn you’d heard an amused huff come from the giant.

He opened the door and stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

You and Michael waited silently beside the door. It was less than a minute before a sudden THWACK, made the two of you jump. Then it was followed by another, and then another, and following that another. It continued like this for five minutes; there was a sound of equipment being moved when a final THWACK was heard.

Ghost stepped outside with a folded up cardboard in his hand, you whipped around at the fight sight of a dismembered leg on it.

“It’s done,” was all he said when he shut the door behind him. “Get on with it,”

Michael was the first to thank him, nearing the door and opening it to look inside. Ghost grunted in reply and walked past him, not that Michael minded, too caught up in the massacre left begging to notice.

Simon dropped the cardboard on the ground before nearing you. At the sound of it, you turned around to face him, purposely not looking to his feet and instead focusing on his face.

“Thank you sir, really,” your eyes met his “ Any thoughts on how I can repay the favor?”

“ Wait and see NyQuil”

You visibly and viscerally cringed at the name,

“Yes sir, thank you sir,”

He huffed out a silent chuckle and began walking off.

Right then Michael poked out his head from the building, his face expressed awe,

“Ay mate you’ve gotta get in here- HEYWHAT THE-“

The rock you don’t remember picking up flew in his direction and dinged the metal of the building, only missing his dumb stupid face because he’d ducked back inside the building in time

“ I fucking told you not to call that shit! Now people are actually fucking calling me-“

“It’s COOL!” Michael yelled back

“No ITS NOT”

you throw a couple more pebbles before finally giving up. Despite your impeccable aim, it was no use if the bastard used the door as his shield.

You finally neared the door and pulled on it, you were met with resistance,

“ Mike open this door right now,”

“ so you can pelt me? No thank you,”

“ I won’t, I don’t even have anything in my hands,”

“ you’re lying,”

“ I’m not,”

“On our friendship you’re not?”

“Mhmm, on our friendship.”

The door creaked open. Michael’s body language unsure as he revealed himself to you. He quickly turned his eyes from your face to your hands, a sigh of relief escaped him when he saw them empty.

“ in all due respect, it’sa sick nickname”

“No it’s not. Shut up before I stone you to death, Mikey”

He smiled and moved out of the way, showing you in

“ yeah yeah just get to work scaredy cat,”

[yokelish]

We know that Amphoreus Flame-Chasers are very reminiscent of the other famous Flame-Chasers of the Elysium Reals. And while some have more one-to-one comparison, some have mixtures of a couple of Flame-Chasers in them. But here's my list:

Mydei - Kaplas Pardo - Cypher Griseo - likely the Talanton, the Titan of Justice Kosma - probably gonna be Dan Heng transformation? They are about the only draconic fellas in appearance. Vill-VI - Tribbie because they are all split, they don't share design. Aponia - likely Aglaea, they both chase the prophecy even if they don't believe in it. Eden - likely the Ocean Titan, so far the only bitches with a musical instrument. Kevin is Kevin, I mean Phainon Castorice and Pollyxia - Sakura and Rin (if I had a nickel every time there is a pair of sisters named Sakura and Rin in a game, I'd have two nickels...) Elysia - Cyrene. Bad news. Elysian Realm started with Elysia and it ended with Elysia. March is about to have her "Because of you" moment.

I am gonna argue that Su is Hyacinthia and Mobius is Anaxagoras in this particular analogy.

I KNOW It's counter-productive not to see Anaxa as Su because we just love that. But the man has thing in common with Mobius. Now, there is more than one version of Mobius just as there is more than one version of Sakura and Kevin... And since this is about Elysian Realm, yes, Mobius in Elysian Realm is absolutely malicious. Thankfully, our frail scholar and his talking brain tumor are not like that. Ceres, Titan of Reason, looks a lot like Mobius but seems to share only that "this is unethical but not yet evil" attitude. They both share a drive for absolutely unhinged experimentation. Mobius usually had "lab rats" and was exceptionally malicious with others. Anaxa, while did have some questionable experiments done on others, only goes absolutely unhinged when it comes to his own body. He used his heart to make Philosopher's stone. He is obsessed with the truth of his world and evolution of it, with Titans that he saw as just evolved humans. And the man succeeded in getting himself into that next step of evolution. He also wanted to plant "seeds of suspicion" onto the next cycle of memoria that Amphoreus is going through. Which is frankly unhinged, if you think about it. The man uncovered the truth of his world, understood what exactly "we are", and then proceeds to FUCK WITH IT.

Also in the Amphoreus trailer, Anaxa seems to have been shown making an infinity symbol with his hand. Which is associated with Mobius. Thankfully, he doesn't have her malicious personality, so his students are safe.

Hyacinthia shared nothing with Su outside of profession. Su by his own nature is not so much as fighter but a healer. He is a doctor, a fixer-upper. And we know Hyacinthia is a healer. That's what she was doing at the Grove all that time. But Su had specific tasks and most of them related to the Imaginary Tree. Hyacinthia's task is very different. Her destiny is not the Tree but the Sky.

The sky is a bigger problem to Amphoreus than any tree. We need to "heal the sky" of Amphoreus for a few reasons. One -- to contact the Express. Two, March probably will need to come down here and collect her memories. Three, the cycle of Evernight and Dawn are very important, and those are tied to the "eyes of Aquila", the eyes which the Titan lost in the struggle against Calamity Titans. Now, unfortunately, Aquila has too much eye imagery around it. It's called The Eye of Twilight. Hyacinthia's banner is "Rainbow onto Twilight". Greek goddess of the rainbow is called Iris. I have bad news: you have an iris, two in fact. I'm afraid for Hyacinthia to heal the sky, she will have to embrace what Anaxa and Castorice had to embrace as well: equivalent exchange. I believe Hyacinthia will lose her eye(s). And then her life. Because only one will get to experience the miracle of Genesis.

But Su is associated with a tree, and Hyacinthia has no tree imagery as far as we can tell. Outside of studying at the Grove just like other Chrysos Heirs, she has no connection to the tree. But Anaxa does. But guess what else Anaxa has connection to - serpents. Anaxa's eyepatch very closely resembles Aquila's symbol. Which is doubly funny. Sacrificed eye covered by "many-eyed god symbol". Aquila is also revered by inventors and scholars. And what we've seen of Aquila briefly, that's a massive..mecha swan? Whose neck is very....serpent like? Lovely creature I'm sure the fight is not gonna be tedious.

But guess what else Su is associated with? PEACOCK. If there is bound to be a massive bird mecha with many eyes, it's a goddamn PEACOCK.

Su and Mobius share an antagonistic relationship in Elysium Realm. However, Anaxa and Hyacine's is very complimentary. They share an element, for one. Until Anaxa's death, they were shown in pairs in trailers. Hyacine and Anaxa interacted a lot in the Grove, and Hyacine had very positive words about him even after discovering his ledgers with Dan Heng.

[mikerickson]

8/29/2024 - 9/6/2024

If I had a nickel for every time I took a vacation in a small European naval power that historically punched above its weight in global affairs I'd have two nickels, which... ah, you know the rest.

Just got back from a trip to the Netherlands and Belgium that was basically: Amsterdam -> Apeldoorn -> Utrecht -> Den Haag -> Brussels -> Ghent -> Amsterdam. I will now proceed to talk to myself about the highlights below the cut.

Still can't sleep on planes. I even took a sleeping pill and bought a fancy new neck pillow thing to help, but instead I was just exhausted and strangling myself. My dinner also didn't sit well with me, so every time I was about to fall asleep, my gag reflex would trigger and I felt like I was gonna throw up. Seven hours of this was not very relaxing.

Landed at ass o'clock in the morning local time and had 6 hours to kill before hotel check in. I've always read that spending time outdoors in natural sunlight helps regulate your circadian rhythm and can fight jet lag, so I took us to look at some windmills. This was kind of a blur and I'm not certain it made much of a difference because I did end up crashing and taking a nap in the afternoon anyway.

Acknowledging that I am biased about this because I am 1) American and 2) literally a traffic engineer by trade, I simply cannot describe the Netherlands as anything other than "car-hostile". I felt actively unsafe driving around each city we visited because there are so many people on bicycles everywhere, who have right of way. Hell, even as a pedestrian I didn't feel safe because they come at you from every direction and you gotta keep your head on a swivel at all times. In The Hague I watched a woman get knocked into by a cyclist who just shouted over her shoulder "Let op voor fietsen!" ("Watch out for bikes!") and carried on.

Amsterdam ended up being more interesting than I was expecting and now I kinda wish I had dedicated one more day for it in the itinerary. Convenient and easy mass-transit system, some of the best bookstores I've ever been in, and beautiful canals everywhere you look.

Were I forced to describe the geography of the Netherlands, I would have to call it "suspiciously flat." I also got to continue my tradition of traveling to foreign countries, seeing literal hundreds of spinning wind turbines all over the place, and seething with jealousy.

Utrecht was a neat, smaller city with a central canal that I wish I had set aside more time for. Felt like a place where you'd actually want to live more than a touristy city.

The Mauritshuis in The Hague is where Vermeer's Girl with a Pearl Earring is located, and you know that before you even get to that room because she's plastered on 99% of everything for sale in the gift shop right at the entrance.

When we drove over the Netherlands-Belgium border, it started getting overcast. These gray skies hung around for four days, and dissipated as soon as we traveled back north on the final day. All of my memories of this country will now have a gray/de-saturated filter on them.

I know Brussels has a reputation of being a run-down or dangerous city among Europeans, but it just felt like a regular American city to me (specifically like the architecture/street layout of Boston with the political importance of Washington DC). Like, I don't know what to tell you, sometimes cities have visible homeless people, unsightly graffiti, and ethnic minority neighborhoods? It's gonna be okay, I promise. Amsterdam felt like Weenie Hut Jr. by comparison.

Going through the European Parliament building was very cool and very well laid-out and informative. Definitely a personal highlight of the trip for me.

The Belgian War Museum kinda just felt like some rich guy's personal collection of artifacts the public shouldn't have had access to? Not a lot of labels explaining what you're looking at in any language.

Belgian chocolate is fine. Not bad, but I mean it's chocolate, that's hard to screw up, you know?

During my research before this trip I kept seeing a general consensus that Bruges is super touristy and sanitized and feels fake and that Ghent was better for a more "authentically" preserved medieval center. I'm glad I opted to go there instead because it exceeded my expectations. Awesome architecture everywhere you turn, way fewer crowds than I expected, and it still felt lived in by modern people rather than a giant open-air museum.

Literally did not see a single physical Euro at all on this trip. Both of these countries are entirely cashless societies, and everyone (both tourists and locals) used chip readers and contactless payment for damn near every interaction. If anything, I saw tons of "Card Only/No Cash" signs and none of the opposite.

[weebsinstash]

fuck my life but I realized if you make a venn diagram of "all the different ideas I've had for yandere Valentino" with "shit Mammon would probably do or has already done canonically" it would basically be a fucking circle and I haaaaaate that because now it means this selfish australian bastard is under my radar

You damage something when you fall into Hell and be stuck in servitude, working off paying the bill? Uhhhh obviously the greedy money scam guy would do that! Tack on extra bullshit charges like late fees, or charging you more than the damage is worth? Definitely just an excuse to keep you around longer.

Grifting pervert who will exploit you for cash? Mam and Val are brothers in arms. You could be working for Mammon as like A JANITOR and one day this fucking clowning hustler pops up, "oi so, remember that employee contract I had ya sign? So, about that fine print--" and you find out you accidentally like CONTRACTUALLY AGREED to giving him your likeness, and he's been fucking sexbots of you on the fly, just, shamelessly. Is he even selling them for profit? No. They're just for him. Tells you to your face. Lets ya see em. Acts like you're full of shit and tweekin if you even mildly insinuate this means he wants to fuck you and the robots are just a placeholder, that's ridiculous, shut the fuck up, you're uggo, why would he want you

Abusive alcoholic misogynistic pigs who will cut you down and take shots at your self esteem to neg you into obedience? Literally fucking canon. Valentino did it constantly on the Instagram accounts and also does it in the Angel Dust comic, and we saw how Mammon treats Fizz

Both of them would call you a cunt although for wildly different reasons lmao

Absolutely always walking the mental tightrope of "would they pimp you out just for cash and maybe the cuckoldry of it or keep you to themselves" but I think on the off chance Mammon decided to "advertise" you, he would be EXCESSIVE with it. Whatever would make money, but, he's, also totally using it to make and do things for hinself. Sex bots, dirty magazines, photo catalogs, calendars, lingerie lines, ridiculous unrelated sponsorships. You're over here absolutely humiliated while he's thoroughly enjoying his new collection of naughty memorabilia of you. Honestly either of them could do this honestly. I've even thought of the hilarious alternative where shit of you doesn't even sell but Val/Mam/Ozzie whomever decides to keep peddling it anyways because they're obsessed with their baby and they want to show em off to everyone with eyes that can see em

and who can forget the classic... "oh, you just died, poor baby ;) well I could give you a place to sleep for the night, but ;) you'd have to ;) earn it ;)" and whatever you do that night becomes potential blackmail

If I had a nickel for every time there was an abusive perverted four armed creep who exploits their workers for money and sex down in Hell, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it sure is kinky it happened twice

[paradoxcase]

John 1:20

THE TOWER HAS BEEN REACTIVAT

No surprises there.

I mean, isn't this basically the same conclusion they already came to like several John chapters ago, when Augustine was questioning whether the FTL even existed? (Although, apparently actual FTL really happens at the end of this chapter, I guess it actually was real? Why does it make no appearance in the rest of these books? If this other FTL technology exists, why did BOE work so hard to get a ship with a stele and a necromancer to operate it?) Anyway, this doesn't feel like a new or exciting conclusion to come to

I don't feel like this story has done a good job of explaining why this has to be done, or even why John and co. think it has to be done. Is it because they're leaving in the ships that were intended for the cryo project? I'm sure they can build more of those, it's just money and engineering, and even if all the trillionaires leave, there's still a lot of governments with a lot of money out there who would probably be willing to fund the cryo project when John turns out to be right about trillionaires after they've left and there's no one left to defend them and talk about the secret lives of cows. I mean, as long as he doesn't start doing stupid and crazy shit and causing a nuclear holocaust. Who cares if the trillionaires leave? I feel like the point of these chapters is to explain why John did what he did, but I don't think this explanation makes a lot of sense. This is not moving me as a supervillain origin story

So, according to the UN, world population will not reach ten billion until 2058. I calculated earlier that John can't be born later than 1998 and still be old enough to realistically attend the Parachute music festival, so are we meant to believe that John is 60 years old here?

If I had a nickel for every time someone had their arm cut off and then regrown in this story, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

Also, thanks for not making this one a sex scene, I think I've already heard more than I wanted to about John's sex life

Presumably this is needed for something resurrection-related, I guess it's so that when the suitcase nuke explodes he can grow a whole new G1deon again from the arm, like a starfish. So presumably John would have had no trouble growing Ianthe a new arm that worked as her arm, if she had asked him. I went back to see where Ianthe's first problematic arm had come from, but all I can find is that she denies that either John or Mercy was responsible for it. Did she make it herself? I can't remember

Ok, but six paragraphs earlier Pyrrha is being mad that G1deon won't arm the nuke if she comes with him. Did Pyrrha know, or not?

I mean, I hate to say it, but you were right there with all of the others when John was like, we have to stop the trillionaires from escaping, that's the absolute more important thing to be doing right now, and exactly zero of you said, no John, that's not actually the most important thing to be doing right now

Why did Cristabel decide that right now was the best time for John to figure out how souls work? There's this whole side narrative about John working out how souls work, but it doesn't really feel tied to the rest of the story about the trillionaires and the cryo project

I think I see. As established at the beginning of Harrow the Ninth, a living planet's soul is like the collective thalergy of everything that lives on the planet, so I guess it's kind of a gestalt oversoul, where every individual living soul on the planet is part of it? So when a planet is dead, then by definition everything else on it is also dead, since otherwise there would still be a living planet soul of some sort. The fact that John wasn't able to control individual human souls here while Alecto was still alive sort of implies that resurrection, and maybe most kinds of soul magic, are actually impossible on a living planet, if even John can't distinguish between human souls and the planet soul in that context. I guess that means that that kind of stuff would only be possible on an undead planet in the Nine Houses

No, I think that's totally fair, actually

I feel like this is important. Everyone else was killed by someone else. Like, John was 100% responsible for all of this mess, but he didn't actually pull the trigger to kill anyone else, and until this point he still has some plausible deniability, like he was just trying to stop the trillionaires, and he never intended to set off any nukes or kill anyone, he was just stressed and being a bit dumb. But he specifically kills G1deon, who is clearly his most loyal supporter. Like, I think he probably could have talked to G1deon over the phone at this point and been like, hey new plan, we're actually going to let the nuke go off and kill a million people so I can gain godlike power, don't worry I'm gonna figure out how to bring you back to life again using your arm, and I honestly think there's a solid chance that G1deon would have been like, sure thing boss, see you when it's all over. Then it would have been like, consensual, I guess? But he doesn't even do that. He just kills him. Obviously John has just killed people before at this point, and he would also be just killing another million people, but I think it's sort of different for John to just kill a bunch of cops or the population of Melbourne that he doesn't know at all, versus to just kill someone like G1deon, who he's known all his life and is somehow impossibly loyal to him

I'm not feeling this metaphor

Well, that's extremely biblical

So this means that the only reason Alecto survived this in a way that the other cavaliers didn't was because John couldn't entirely consume her soul, or thought he couldn't. And I guess he just decided it was too complicated to figure out how to do this with a human soul, and a necromancer who doesn't have all that power at hand at that moment?

So this is what Hollywood Hair Barbie looks like, apparently:

Maybe it's just the angle of the photo, but she doesn't seem to have quite as freakish proportions as the barbies I grew up with, which is good. For a moment I was imagining 8-foot-tall Alecto who is 75% legs and it was terrifying

What is the "shaman" a reference to, here?

So ultimately, John's powers came from Alecto originally, when she was still alive as the soul of Earth - it's implied throughout the story that necromancy comes from exposure to thanergy, but this obviously wasn't the case for John's specific flavor of necromancy, but he is definitely making use of thanergy to do what he does. So why did Alecto have the ability to give someone necromancy powers, that make use of death energy, rather than say, something the primarily makes use of life energy/thalergy which would probably be more useful and not incentivize killing ten billion people to gain more power?

[princess-of-the-corner]

Final bit of Sailor V stuff, sorry, but this ties into shipping cos it is the niches of niche ship, Minako/Hikaru.

As in, Minako's best friend from childhood & appears in the Sailor V Manga who is in many ways her opposite. She also appears in the  in the video game Sailor Moon: Another Story in Minako's dream.

She kind of looks like Ami, was the Vie president of a medical volunteer charity and was regarded by Artemis as the more "Ideal choice" for Sailor V cos he figured she'd spoil him and be responsible rather than disrespect him and be cavalier XD She also is apparently partially responsible for getting Minako into celebrity stuff, so while there's similarities to Ami, they have more mutual interests.

One thing I find cute is that whenever Hikaru was caught up in the Dark AGency plans, Minako was much more serious and intense, and also off balance. She also instantly fumbled the whole "Pretend like you don't know your civilian loved one's" interaction when saving Hikaru and stopping to chat afterwards.

This, along with Artemis's nagging, left her standing around for hours getting mozzy bites helping Hikaru collect donation XD ALso love Hikaru's blushing & how all the other girls also can't stop going on about how pretty V is. Also their dynamic as Hikaru & Minako is extremely amusing as well, with their red oni blue oni vibes.

Aside, but if I had a nickel for every time Minako had a chapter/episode that involved her giving blood illegally, I'd have two nickel's. Which isn't a lot but its weird it happened twice.

Also Minako got trapped again, this time its all Hikaru X3

But yeah they didn't get a ton of airtime, but I find their dynamic very cute and fun.

Plus, Hikaru was in the concept drafts for the Sailor V sequel where Minako was still the MC and leader of the team- Oh snap someone did a translation!!!!

So yeah, lots of fun stuff there.

oh that's gay as hell

[droughtofapathy]

"Welcome to the Theatre": Diary of a Broadway Baby

Redwood

February 26, 2025 | Broadway | Nederlander Theatre | Evening | Musical | Original | 1H 50M

If I had a nickel for every time a former Elphaba starred as a queer woman with a Black female love interest and screlted her way through a musically-homogenous and uninspired score, and deeply baffling book, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but I've had to suffer through it TWO SEASONS IN A ROW.

We are just never going to have a rousing musical theatre score that serves the narrative and actually has any sort of dramatic buildup again, and I have to accept that. Instead, we get the gift of having musical theatre novices from the world of pop come in to stuff a one-act play with as many belty, aurally identical, lyrically turgid songs as humanly possible. Are you not thrilled for the future of musical theatre? If it's not jukebox, it's this. Those are the options.

And she didn't even kiss her wife, so what the fuck was the whole damn point of all of this? They really put me through two hours of misery and boredom and didn't even do me the curtesy of letting me see Idina Menzel kiss a woman? Fuck this.

I'm putting the bulk of this review under the cut because it's getting about as long and miserable as the show itself.

Verdict: Someone Put This Dumpster Fire Out

A Note on Ratings

In this sub-two-hour show, Idina Menzel is a woman going through unimaginable grief, and rather than face the devastating loss of her son in any sort of healthy way like her wife wants, she's mean, flighty, and mentally unwell. Abandoning her saint of a wife to drive cross-country, she wanders into a big forest, harasses some conservationists (?), and bullies them into letting her embark on several incredibly dangerous, unsanctioned, and ill-advised climbs up a California redwood. She even gets them to let her sleep on a platform suspended hundreds of feet in the air all by herself overnight for like a week. And sure, suspension of disbelief. But none of that makes any sense. Why is this old man letting a strange woman he's never met who is clearly (as the other scientist points out) unstable do these things? He is liable for her, and is opening himself up to wrongful death, lawsuits, losing his permits and livelihood, etc. But fuck it, sure, let's ignore all that and just go with it.

What do we have left? Well, there are seventeen songs packed into this 110 minutes, plus two instrumentals. We start off belting to the rafters and we stay there. Each of Jesse's songs is essentially the same, rarely propelling any plot. Instead, these bland and kitschy power ballads grind what little action there is to a halt. Lumbering and pedestrian (there's a difference between a clever slant rhyme and just plain sloppiness, but no one's told that to the lyricists), the music makes this show drag on eternity, growing and changing as slowly as the hollow redwood bark that rotates around the middle of the stage. If they wanted to make a concept album, sure, fine, you've got lots of fifteen-second soundbytes to play over your reels or whatever. But this is no way to structure a musical. If there is no emotional ebb and flow and movement, what is left? A collection of wannabe eleven o'clock numbers that never get past six? The opening number's lyrics are often muddled and muted with all the synthy orchestrations, but it's almost a blessing.

The book is similarly a cliche-riddled mess of stock characters and plot. What should be a profound exploration of grief instead turns shallow and tiresome. Ever wonder what Next to Normal dead son would be like if you sucked out all the fun, nuance, and bite from his narrative-haunting? The wife, saddled with the thankless task of only existing to give Idina a chance to breathe and step out of the spotlight for a few minutes here and there, has some of the worst music that she does her best to make work. At least Khaila Wilcoxon's voice is a gorgeous reprieve, even if the lyrics do her no favors. Her character is here to be the socially-conscious Black-Jewish environmentalist who regularly protests (but never actually stops) Idina's whole...thing... And she gets to say the line "I thought you were a Disney princess," [hold for applause] The awkward silence that followed spurred some polite applause and laughter, but yikes...

The video design does most of the heavy lifting to keep this seed from burning up into ash. Even that is more akin to a VR experience in a digitally recreated forest, rather than something real. If you're prone to vertigo, skip this one. The tree itself is fine. Sitting on the more extreme sides will take away most of its splendor because it's only a partial trunk. Much like the circus musical from last season, the aerial stunts work overtime to distract the audience from the rest of the show's shortcomings.

As shallow as a redwood's roots, this show somehow fell short of even my low expectations. I thought surely it would just be a middling night of theatre, neither revelatory nor horrific. I am neither enchanted with, nor have a personal vendetta against Idina Menzel. As far as her performance, it was decent. Unlike other Elphabas I could name, she was in good vocal form for this show. But "watch Idina climb a tree and sing the same song for two hours" does not a good show make.

[moneyforshark]

Park Days

8

I was very content as a child. Looking back there are things I should have understood about the world that I didn't, and I said things that didn't need to be said, but I was eight. People found it charming. The world was much simpler when I was a child. People said I was bright for my age, and I knew I was a smart kid. I was important.

I would walk, my hand in my mother’s, down the sidewalk that led to the playground. It was a magical place, a wooded heaven within a bustling city. For a child's mind, the possibilities of a forest were endless. I think they were endless in my mothers mind too.

“Look,” she would whisper, and point. A woodpecker. At the time I felt pride in knowing its name. She would laugh along with the songbirds.

At the time I thought the park was built by god. The play structures sparkled in the sunlight. He was asking me to climb them. I would sprint away, my mother setting up camp at a bench, she would talk to the other parents. She would smile as I am crowned ruler over my kingdom of shiny painted metal. 

Before we left I always insisted on wishing in the fountain. My mother funded this habit, with her nickels and dimes that lay discarded in the bottom of her purse. I phrased my wishes like a prayer. 

“Dear God, please please may I see another woodpecker” the nickel would make a small splash in the beautiful blue of the fountain. “Sincerely, Thanks. Amen.” Despite not quite grasping the format of a prayer, he always answered. My mother and I watched the woodpeckers every day we went to the park.

18

When I was eighteen, I began a floundering that would be a theme for years to come. My mother had died three years before. I started going for long walks when I thought of her, more often than not it ended with me watching the woodpeckers near the rickety play structures. Sitting on the bench where she would sit while I was busy fulfilling whatever story I had brewing in my head as a child. The majesty that this park used to bring to my life had faded quite a bit with her death. It was no longer God's secret garden, I saw then it was a small block surrounded by offices. The birds overhead were no longer characters in my story, they were downy woodpeckers, smallest in north america. 

A homeless man was asleep on the bench beside me. I stared. I wondered what university he went to, I'll end up going to one soon too. As I stood up to leave I glanced at the fountain. I've been wishing to see more woodpeckers since I was a child. It feels wrong to throw money in a pool of water while this man has all his belongings in a single backpack. 

I didn't see any more birds on the way home.

54

I hadn't been back to this park in a long time. I had moved far away, saw other parks, and walked with other birds. At the time I had been with the same company for 31 years. I didn't really know what was happening when I joined, it was a random internship I took fresh out of university. I thought I'd work there a year, maybe two if I was lucky, and then move on to greater things. But I stayed, by the time I thought of leaving, maybe taking up slightly more fulfilling work than helping companies with too much money make more, there was talk of kids. Not that we had any at that point, but with the money I was dragging in how could I have taken that risk.

I was jaded during these years. I saw myself as a fraud. When I was back in town to help my father move to a seniors community, all I could think about was how my kids will have to do this to me someday too. I think that's what drew  me to the park then. A reminder of my childhood paradise that's been changed. The air in the park was cold, frost collected on the faded metal of the play structure. The park was not quiet, but peaceful. I sat on the bench. My heart was heavy in those times. I didn't believe myself to have been a good person. I wanted to be, as we all do, but I had stumbled into my identity as a “lead financial analyst” just as I had stumbled into parenthood, and homeownership. I had once taken refuge in my ability to just have things happen to me. I know I was logical, but I think I didn't understand that not every choice I made had to be smart to be good. 

The fountain glittered, half frozen, I had never realized there was a plaque on it. I barely registered there was a statue in the middle for my whole childhood. I walked over to it. The plaque was some dead mayor who donated the park. I understood why they never turned it into an office, they were legally bound. 

I didn't end up seeing any birds on the way home. 

98

Now I am dying. I am being pushed through this park by my son. The sun is shining down on the castle that rests in the center. I know I'm crazy now. People stopped taking me seriously in my seventies, by my eighties I accepted that as who I was to the world. He pushes me slowly. He talks sometimes. 

“Look at the woodpecker,” he says, pointing to my mother. I haven't seen her in a long time. She lands on her castle. The trees have never been taller. My son never got to meet my mother, secretly I think they wouldn't have gotten along, but they would have loved each other all the same. I'm glad they are seeing each other now. 

The park was singing. My mother was singing, her sharp call rang out. It said I love you. It said the park loves you. I felt the need to sing along with her. My son chuckled as I imitated her quick “piks”. I was calling them to me. The birds swarmed. There were thousands, my mother called them to us too. My son didn't react, he didn't know what she meant yet. 

God's fountain splashed, the quarters at the bottom have been there for who knows how long. I had a spare quarter, I made sure of it. My son doesn't see her, I don't think. She takes my hand as we drop the quarter into the fountain. My son looks amused, he takes himself too seriously. I did at one point too. Is it so bad to trade logic for the ecstasy of life? Someday he will find me in this park, maybe I will be in the trees. 

I wish to see more woodpeckers. They all seem to approve of this wish.

[styrmwb]

I Beat Final Fantasy XIII-2

If I had a nickel for every time travel RPG I played in 2024 I would have two nickels

This is a game that I've been meaning to play for a good long while now. I beat the first XIII in... 2020, if Steam is correct, so it's been quite a gap between this and that. I liked XIII-1 (as I will heretofore refer to it) well enough. It was one of the first FFs I was ever exposed to (alongside XI and FFTA), so in my quest to play all the mainlines, it was a high priority at the time. I liked the main party, I liked the world, I was Not Great at the combat (fuck Barthandelus), and overall I definitely didn't hate it as much as the general public did/does. Subsequent entries that I played left more of an impact/a higher positive impression on me, however. I think the two biggest reasons for that are 1. I was bad at the combat so it was hard and 2. It didn't really have a strong supporting cast and villains to me. XIII-2, I feel like it centered itself around being everything that XIII-1 was not; and overall, I think it very much worked. Let's talk about why!

Last Things First: 900AF

Real quick I just want to get my biggest complaint out of the way and it is something that I do not hold against the game itself at all I hold it against Square; the PC port sucks shit. I had to mod it to make it playable. What The Fuck. It didn't run as good as it should, and sometimes it would break and I'd have to reset and lose my progress! Square: fix your shit you small indie company anyways:

Gameplay: 003AF

XIII-1, as everyone probably knows at this point, is a linear game. It's also a slow burn type of game; you very gradually get all your stuff and your party together as you run through Cocoon, and when you land on Pulse is when the game really opens up. The game is gogogogo all the way forward no looking back, which to be fair works narratively.

XIII-2 is not that at all. When it comes to the battle system and your paradigms and all that, you're pretty much thrown right into it from the start. You have your whole party of 2 people, the crystarium is good to go, it feels like the game is saying "yeah you know what this is go do it". When it comes to the levels/story, yes it's technically linear, but as this is a time travel game, it's split up into different levels of different areas at different times that you can move back and forth freely and can even reset and replay if you need/want, which is really cool! I loved it. Also, on top of your 2 characters, the game has a whole monster collecting/leveling bit that works as the 3rd member of the party.

I think when it comes to the battle system, I jived with it a lot more than XIII-1. There's a couple factors that make this;

The lack of party members. With the paradigm system, you're already switching your jobs and roles constantly throughout battle. In XIII-1, everyone had their own niche, so you had to worry about picking the right character As Well as the right paradigm, not to mention if you have someone you like you might never really be able to make them work. When you just have 2, your main focus is on what paradigms you need, when you need to use them, and the bulk of the customizability lies in your monsters. I really liked that.

The flow of battle felt smoother. Unlike XIII-1, switching between paradigms is quick and reactionary. This makes battles high speed and actiony despite it still being a menu based RPG. "Oh shit! big attack coming, I gotta switch to Tortoise quick enough!" Despite me making mistakes occasionally due to Being Clumsy, I still enjoyed that aspect.

I think the difficulty of the game was overall easier. Now I can get for some people this is a bad thing, but again, I wasn't really good at XIII-1 (fuck you Barthandelus), so feeling like I can actually play this game made me very happy. It's also possible that I'm just a better gamer in the 4-5 years since then, but this is about my experience, I'm not doing a serious game review or anything lmao

And as I mentioned up above, I really did like the "world map" (time map) that the game operated on. Nothing was truly missable, I could grind, I could go back and get monsters that are apparently broken, and because of the nature of this being a time travel game, the fact that you would go back and forth between the same location was really fun and honestly something you Have to do if you wanna make this style of game work.

Couple other things I appreciated: The fragments. Having tidbits of lore or funny dialogue behind these side quests felt really nice, and a good way to more naturally tie the datalog into the actual flow of the gameplay. Also, how the random encounters worked, and the Mog Clock. Even though it's the classic RPG random battle, it lets you actually react properly to it. You can attack early, or run away. Yet it also takes what XIII-1 had with different enemies behaving differently in the overworld. You see a lobo spawn and you think "yeah I'm not running away from this let me get the preemptive attack." It actually adds skill to what is classically completely random. Although the slashing and attacking is a little clumsy.

However, as in anything, there are flaws. I have 2 major ones: the crystarium, and monsters. The Crystarium is THEORETICALLY cool. It's a chill, manual way to level which is always very fun, and a part of XIII-1 that I really enjoyed. However, every move you make is PERMANENT. It is SO EASY to accidentally fuck up your whole build by pressing one button and then you have to either deal with the consequences which can lead to you not being able to do some of the endgame content, or reloading which means Numbers% progress is gone. Like, at least it could have given a confirmation, or an animation of it moving ala XIII-1, or what it should have been; The Option To Fucking Go Back While You're Leveling. Because the game just throws you into the meat, it's SO EASY to fuck it all up from the start without truly understanding, which is what happened to me. I had to reload a couple times before I could really start. Monsters also have this issue, but it's a little better because you can just get another guy so it's not nearly as permanent. I can't get a new Noel (it's a time travel game I should be allowed to get a new Noel); no, the problem with monsters, and I don't have a solution for this I just know I didn't like it, was the drop chance and the materials needed. Just... fucking drop the monster I want. And then I gotta find the singular monster that is the only source of endgame crystals for my guy and he never spawns and even when he does and even if I beat him and get 5 stars I still might not get the thing; it was annoying, I hated it, those are my major problems with the gameplay that actually felt like they impeded my experience. Other than that though, XIII-2 is ABSOLUTELY an overall improvement over XIII-1.

Story: 015AF

I remember seeing complaints about the story before I played it, so I was nervous going in. But honestly? I liked it. I often saw people say "oh it retconned the ending of XIII" but like; yes. That was the point. Time broke and despite that ending happening, Serah was the only person who could recall it. Yeah, sure, time travel isn't for everyone and it's fucky, but I enjoyed it and I actually felt like it was solid and understandable all the way through, which is a big achievement for a JRPG lmfao, especially the sequel to a pretty confusing entry.

Another really big plus in XIII-2's favor is having a really good villain. The fal'Cie were kinda all over the place and I never found my fit, but Caius was enthralling. I COMPLETELY understood his motivation, his pain, and not to mention: he fuckin won. He got exactly what he wanted. I think Caius alone is the biggest reason why I enjoyed this story so much.

I really enjoyed the nature of paradoxes. Sure, it might not be the traditional definition of what a paradox is, but it was a nice overarching explanation. Time fucked up. This is why things is bad. This also leads to some really cool interactions of changing the past and future, as well as them all being interconnected. My personal favorite bit is in Augusta Tower 200AF when Serah and Noel are fighting the artificial fal'Cie; and the thing that saves them is Serah getting so frustrated with Hope that her feelings go through time, causing Hope to never start the project in the first place, leading to Adam not being able to throw itself into a Garland loop. I fuckin loved that bit so much.

As for things I didn't care for as much: I think the concept of Chaos was a little hard for me to wrap my brain around; what was it, why is Etro it, I could have used a little more explanation or like a datalog or something on that. Or maybe I'm just dumb! That's a possibility. I also felt that how it treated the previous cast was a little off. Now, as one of the 3 Hope Enjoyers, this game was fucking HUGE for me. I got to see that guy grow up and be cool and awesome and he was a mainstay and it made me very very happy. But when it comes to, say, Lightning and Sazh, I was a little iffy. Now, again, it's been a while since I've played XIII-1. I definitely don't remember the finer details, but something about Lightning being so willing to serve a godly force just felt off to me. Something about her felt still. Now, she has been in Valhalla for Numbers centuries, so that changes a person, but something still felt off to me. And Sazh; why did that poor man have to get stuck in the casino for like the whole plot off screen and then only appear at the end? I wish he was around more. I'll go more in depth in a second.

But regardless, I overall enjoyed the story and I think it stuck with me a lot more than XIII-1. The ending hurt, but I think knowing about Lightning Returns didn't make it hurt as much. This game definitely feels like it was made with a 3rd game in mind, for better or for worse.

Characters: 015AF

To get into a little more nitty gritty of my favorite aspect of any video game, as well as to double the length of my post, let me do my traditional List Of Characters And How I Felt About Them (I love these sections I hope other people do too)

Serah - Admittedly, Serah was a bit of a MacGuffin in XIII-1. She drives everyone to become l'Cie and then appears fine at the end. So there was a lot to build on and create here. I did really like her in the hero role, though. Sure, she's kinda plain, but I think the most charming aspects about her to me are her relationships with people feeling very healthy (girl main character not falling in love with boy main character??? holy shit (yeah she has a fiancee but that doesn't stop people)), and that little bit of "meanie Miss Farron" that comes out. It's just the little things shown throughout that prove that Serah's actually quite strong willed.

Noel - I fuckin love Noel dude. This poor guy did not deserve ANYTHING that happened to him. This is a dude who deep inside just wanted his friends, his family, but the world could not give it to him. He was hurt by the past, and continues to be hurt in the future. He was such a good choice to be the deuteragonist, and the literal link between the past and the future.

Mog - Kupo. Mog's a little dissonant to the rest of the game's vibes, but I still like him. He's a moogle. It's hard not to like them. But I will say the kupos got to me after a while, kupo.

Caius - I already pretty much said this above but. Caius. God Damn. I kinda experienced him in Opera Omnia, but I don't think I truly appreciated him until now. The concept of an ageless warrior who's only purpose is to protect a girl/her reincarnations who constantly dies over and over and over and over which drives him to madness is wonderful (not in the sense that it's good for him but like, it's compelling). I completely understood Why he was doing what he was doing, despite like, obviously breaking time is not good. His goals, his design, his consistency in fights, his theme, all of it. It's a shame that he's in a sequel to a controversial entry, because I truly think he's one of the best FF villains.

Yeul - Similar to Serah in the previous game, Yeul (the Yeuls) are a bit of a MacGuffin to the plot. Which does stink, I think I would have appreciated a little more heart to heart with her, maybe some extended time in Noel's time with his Yeul. Regardless, good design, cool character concept.

Lightning - It stinks a little that she was in the background for so much of the game. As I said, something about her characterization in this entry felt off, but it's been a few years, so I could be wrong.

Hope - HOPE!!!!!! Hope is my favorite character in XIII-1, which I know is a hot take. I loved seeing him grown in this entry, I loved that he was so important to the story. It felt like a narrative rendition of his gameplay. He was the best medic, sitting back long range to help the party, and here, he stays behind in time, using his intellect to progress humanity and to save the world. I love Hope, man.

Alyssa - sus among us. It took me until the paradox ending where she fuckin gets arrested to really connect the dots of "oh she did a bad". I fully acknowledge that I could just be dumb and I missed some plot beats, but her character didn't feel well communicated to me. Regardless, I did LIKE the concept of her character. Someone who died in the main timeline being revived in the new one, and through paradoxes feeling something is wrong, and doing something about it. That's really fucking cool. I just wish it was a bit more apparent (or maybe I just need to slow down and read more sometimes!)

Snow - Snow is Snow. He is EXACTLY like he was in XIII-1. Hard headed idiot who runs off to be a hero. I understand he's not exactly likeable for a lot of people, but I do love that he's consistent. I really appreciated that sense of trust between him and Serah, they're getting married for a reason lmao, although maybe just a teensy bit more romance would have been nice? Just a crumb. Regardless, I do love this dumbass. Also, his l'Cieining being unexplained (or maybe I'm dumb) is another thing that convinces me that this game was made with a XIII-3 in mind.

Chocolina - If you had told me that the little baby chocobo in Sazh's afro was going to turn into a hot lady with a singsongy voice I would not believe you. What???

I think the thing about this game is while its cast is small, that core selection is really enjoyable. Those few people that you're with the whole game through. It's just a little rough when it's a sequel and it has to build off of that correctly. Some characters feel different, some were turned into crystal so they don't count, and some were sent to the casino dimension and weren't allowed to exist until the end :(

Graphics: 200AF

XIII-1 had a special sauce to it. That game is Fucking Gorgeous despite being 15 years old at this point. I don't know what they put in it to make it last so long. XIII-2 has a similar sauce. It's a little weaker, there's a little more roughness, I can see the facial expressions be a little stiff, but that sauce still remains. XIII is peak "Final Fantasy is on the cutting edge of visuals". My absolute favorite scene is the first phase final battle with Caius, on the beach of Valhalla. Something about the lighting against the water, against the sand, and against the characters, was stunning. I don't even pop off at things like this often but God Damn.

Music: 230AF

Fuck. Before I ever played this game, even back when I picked up Theatrhythm Curtain Call for the 3DS and I really only had XIV under my belt; the little selection of soundtrack I got hit different. XIII already has amazing music, but XIII-2 is Fucking Peak. I love it so much. The lyrical songs are earworms, the Aggressive Mixes when you get into combat, the battle themes, the slower themes, aaaaaaagh!!!!! It's got that XIII violin that goes insane, Caius's Theme has that grand, dark choir, you have symphonic, you have techno, you have slow piano moments, I cannot get enough of it. There were times where I would just sit in the Historia Crux, listening to the music. I know some people said that it doesn't always fit the game, and I get that, especially in the boss themes, but I didn't mind at all. I think it helps that I already loved the soundtrack before I played it, but even in gameplay and hearing these tracks a lot more frequently did not diminish ANYTHING. I think I gotta make another top 5 list.

DLC: 5XXAF

I did it! It was fine. Sazh's DLC was nice to give me context on what he was doing, plus a little Chocolina lore, but it's gambling. I'm bad at gambling. The fucking faces he made in the card games were absolutely hilarious though

why did they do this angle it's so funny

Lightning's was cool. Repeatable Caius battle, get better and better at it. Plus you get a real sauced up unit from it (still couldn't top Chichu)

The Coliseum was the real meat of this, and it was the last thing I did before going for the secret ending. All very cool fights, and I get another Gilgamesh battle. Fuck that Ultros and Typhon fight though holy shit I was getting pissed off.

The Future To Come Is What We Make: 700AF

Couple other thoughts I had that I couldn't think of where to put it: I think I would have liked just a single extra area. Something about the number of zones we got, felt like it was just a tad too small. Maybe Gapra Whitewood? Somehow? I dunno. Also, I liked the paradox endings. They were fun postgame bonuses, they fit really well into a game about time travel and changing the future or past, not to mention they cleanly slot into the time map and fragment systems. Just a bit of extra content that feels allowed to be fun or give extra info. Anyways:

Despite the fact that I've played SO many FFs, I've only 100%ed/Platinumed 3 of them. FFI and II (the pixel remasters), and now XIII-2. That's gotta say something about this game, that I actually wanted to go the full way and finish the whole thing. Despite my complaints, the monster grinding and the crystarium weren't enough to stop me, and the difficulty of endgame was something that I felt was approachable enough. While I would have liked some of the more grindy elements (AHEM MONSTERS) to be more consistent, it still feels like a game that was near perfectly sized. I don't usually do direct games one after the other, cause I need variety else I get really burned out, but this has me honestly considering going straight for Lightning Returns next. We'll see how that turns out.

8/10. An overall improvement over the first entry in gameplay and story. Despite it being clunky or annoying in some consistent areas, it regardless has that sauce that had me locked in.

[captorcorp]

THE DREAM MACHINE GAME SPOILERS (post-game rambling)

if i had a nickel every time i experienced media with an AI trying to give birth to itself in a human baby form through the protagonist's wife - i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

on a whole i'm really >:3 about this game though!!! i should've known from the title (which is why i got it ofc) but just wasn't sure if it'd live up to my expectations for either the dream aspects or the machine aspects, i think it did for both though

the dreams could've been more dream-like in logic at some times (though i feel like they usually did feel p dreamlike), though with how difficult the puzzles were already maybe it's a good thing they weren't lol i did like the environments though like the wife dreaming of being the captain of a ship where all of the workers are clones of her husband, the stressed nurse dreaming about a cool fantasy land where she's the village medic, the wfh guy dreaming having some weird cube-like dream land that nobody expected but most of it being manipulated by the machine controlling him...

decent amount of dream psychology mentioned, specifically jung's collective unconsciousness (is that a zero escape reference??? /j) and some freud mention iirc? the disk-shaped shared realm of dreams that people start from the center of and move towards the edge as they age while being able to traverse the plane between people's dreams as well is an interesting concept - feel like i haven't seen that many games come up with their own dream lore like that. at that part in the center with the prenatal barrier and baby dreams being raw potential energy and such, i hadn't heard as much about that irl so looked it up in case it was some obscure theory i hadn't heard of before but didn't find anything unfortunately ^^;

also love the ending in like chapter 5 where you can just. choose to start working with the machine instead after almost killing it, i didn't expect them to give us that option. sorry to my pregnant wife but you're saying i can inherit this dead guy's whole repertoire of dream research passed down for generations and explore the dreamscape as i wish with this cool sentient eldritch machine? fuck yeah let's start hiding the bodies /hj (jk I would go help my wife if i were victor. but i'm not i'm the player and i want to learn about dreams.)

also re: the machine itself i thought it was a neat character ^^ was a bit ??? at what it's goals were at first, bc obviously the mortons were using it to map the unconscious but then it wasn't clear if the machine also wanted to do that or had its own agenda, but self preservation of its sentience and trying to maintain its existence by leaching from the dreams of others was a good motive. and then also 🥺me when the ai is lonely and misses its friends (and accidentally kills them when they stop giving it unsuspecting residents to feed off of but dw about that)

very 👀at that bit in the 3rd floor neighbors' dreams where we found out it was trying to build itself a body in the dream world out of dream npc's organs so it could move around the dream world as it wished without the clunky tentacles that kinda just stay in one place and die. another one of those things that's like 'bro it's a dream you don't have to be that thorough about it to make it work' but i get it with the weird shared dreamscape lore this game has set up and it was a very 'bro wtf' reveal. gotta respect trying the frankenstein method

actually that makes me think. are dream npcs sentient in this universe??? i was just thinking about it like 'at least it was just stealing organs from npcs and not people' but idk how this fits with the collective unconscious lore.

also i do have to address the ending of the game besides just that 2 nickels joke (the other media was demon seed btw. was a pretty disturbing watch ^^;;). that one bit felt like the stanley parable hole ending and the other bit felt like the 2001 a space odyssey ending. the playing god part was very ??? i didn't know what to think of it at first (still not sure) and this is the only screenshot i took from that portion.

that whole final colorful shifting area with the victors of different ages reminded me of the denver meow wolf exhibit (i haven't been yet but from the pics i've seen of it on the site). then i saw the area with our mother giving birth to us and i was like. Ah. Unfortunately this game has given us a lot of experiences with climbing inside of small holes, even when they're inside other people...

was also surprised that we just took up the machine's offer to share our consciousness and stay stuck in the dream world. feel like it'd be more effective to give us some options there and have multiple endings, but i guess if it was us (machine loses too much power to survive outside of the dream) or our child (would grow up possessed by the machine irl) makes sense as a trade, our poor wife though... i do like dreams but being stuck in the dream world forever like that would be OTL i am glad the machine got to survive though

anyway my final review is. puzzles were pretty hard so thank you steam and yt walkthroughs. ending was weird, it was too metaphysical for me to fully wrap my head around but i do like the artistic vision. game on a whole is good especially when you're autistic about dreams and ai characters, played it for like 10 hours straight. dream machine is my favorite character (no surprise). why did the game make us unbirth ourselves.

misc screenshot dump:

normal teatime conversation topics

cool machine diagram

NOOO i forgot to get a picture of those fuckass pumpkins that make you lead a government. love those guys

[kirric-the-fan]

Did I spend my lunch going round the block working on my oc design just to end up reverting almost the entire thing with one little change? Yeah

Happy updated design:

(Happy (sometimes previously Happi) is a madoka magica oc char of mine. She she strongly based on one of my precure ocs, Cure Steady, and shares the same hair and color scheme. Her 'weapon' is her gauntlets and boots, and she attacks with direct punches and kicks. The alt vers belt is based off of cure steady. Her wish left her fearless, which has it advantages and disadvantages. She has a cheery disposition, and lives with Aisu and Cherie in the depths of Nagoyami. They spend a lot of their time having to make sure Happy doesn't blindly run into trouble because she's not good at realising she has to also get out of it.

Happy: "Hey Aisu! Look how many witches marks I collected today!!!"

Aisu, having her third nervous breakdown of the day "Happy, No!")

Pic 1: After, Pic 2: Changes I was trying out, bc I wasn't sure about the belt. I also needed to get rid of the earrings, and having two white hair chars in a three person team was a bit much so I was testing that too, Pic 3: Before.

I also tweaked her Boss, Aisu's design

(I realised I did inadvertently nick one element of her design from something else: if I had a nickel for every gun wielding magical girl with poofy armwarmers, I'd have two nickels, which is funny because Aisu never actually meets Mami, but she met Homura, and doesn't think much of Mami's firearm (teaching) skills.)

And I'm gonna add Cherie too. I haven't changed her design, I just like it too much and don't want to break up the trio:

[godfrey-the-chaos-duck]

SO

from august 12th to today (18th) i was on vacation with my parents, brother, aunt and younger cousin

here are some high and low points of the trip

- my period started the day we left (fuuuuck) but i had an ok time regardless

- brought my crochet blanket but ran out of one of my balls of yarn before i was finished with it which put the whole project on hold till i can get more yarn

- managed to go swimming a few times, went to a funfair and an aquarium, and the beach was really nice

- got to go to a Pride event and hang out with my friends

- went shopping a whole bunch

- got new pins and cool glasses for my collection

- got complimented on said pins and my general vibes

- also. if i had a nickel for every time i randomly found out someone at the checkout of a shop also likes hazbin hotel, i would have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice (one of those times wasn't on this trip but it was super recently)

- at one point i got caught out in the rain which sucked but the weather was really good basically all the rest of the time

- i still found time to watch episode 6 of the amazing digital circus (it was peak btw. they all get guns.)

- emotions went high a few times because of changes of plan or being overstimulated

- it took ages to pack for leaving the house we rented we should have done most of it last night but we didn't and i can't let myself be mad about it 

- on top of all of that i had to go shopping and get dinner for the family after we got home, before i'd even managed to unpack at all, because my parents spent a lot more money on shopping than they thought they would and also i figured they're both exhausted so i wanted to help them out

conclusions drawn from this trip

- i never ever ever ever want to hear the god forsaken google maps voice ever again in my fucking life (we had to get directions everywhere and that voice is just ugh fuck OFF)

- some families simply should not go on vacation together actually. ours is one of them.

- don't pack jeans when there's a heat wave forecast. more to the point don't fucking WEAR them. you'll regret it.

[definitelynotplanetfall]

if i had a nickel for every time i saw people collectively look at a deeply, far-reachingly awful person and overlook their actual flaws to obsess over one time they masturbated using a piece of furniture, i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice