#if im wrong ) visual hallucinations

[fragglerockopinions]

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[raytoroapologist]

i think when putting together a timeline of events here it's important to remember that the black parade music video takes place 10 to 15 or so years before the patient dies, it's a flashback to his childhood when he went to see the parade, and he's not lucid at the moment the music video starts. we can assume that the planes and more scary/decrepit imagery is not from his childhood trip, but is influenced by what he's seen in the war, or the noise of the warplanes overhead while he's in the actual hospital room (correct me if im wrong, but i believe the war isn't yet over when he dies)

the imagery we have from the welcome to the black parade music video is not what the landscape of the country actually looked like, in contrast to the very real and grounded feeling the dictator trailer had. it was the last hallucinations of a dying man. a distant and dim city, war planes, a childhood memory, drawn curtains, nurses, and the beeping of medical equipment.

I think it's also worth noting the similarities between the ashes falling on the black parade and the papers/confetti falling in the new promo. you could definitely argue it's just to take up visual space, but I think the comparison is interesting nevertheless.

Here are some more obvious parallels between visuals, specifically the skylines, in chronological order. War and decay, shiny new fascism, and the ruins of (presumably, although the differences in window shape and the neons throw me off, so it may be unrelated) that same city.

the visuals of welcome to the black parade are very very inspired by german expressionist film movements, especially the cabinet or dr caligari, and the last things i wanted to point out here were the nods to that in the set of the wwwy shows with the vignette/spotlight overtop a single figure

but yea! just very excited to break down any imagery to come and finally put my art degree to good use

[howlsofbloodhounds]

wait could you elaborate on peeta having OSDD-2 im curious 0:

Context.

I’ll leave a link for OSDD-2 and his Hijacking here and here. Note that it’s been awhile since I watched the movies or read the books, so details may be wrong or off.

But in short, although he is obviously a fictional character and wasn’t like..diagnosed with anything officially, he is basically held captive and tortured, brainwashed for weeks.

He is drugged and dosed with tracker jacker venom against his will while being tortured and held in captivity, which is said to generate the part of the brain that causes fear. Stings from these creatures can cause “visual, auditory, olfactory, and tactile hallucinations.”

Hijacking, the form of torture and brainwashing the Capitol used against many—including Peeta Mellark—is described as:

“Tracker jacker venom can also be used to ‘hijack’ memories in a highly secretive form of torture. A memory is called up by some sort of stimulus, and tracker jacker venom is injected in small enough quantities that it causes little physical reaction and minimal hallucination, while still targeting the fear center of the brain.

The memory then becomes subconsciously associated with fear and pain, as well as being perceptibly warped. Afterwards, the brain rerecords the memory in the altered form.”

The books go more in depth on the effect this torture and brainwashing had on Peeta a bit more than the movies, such as;

“His memories of Katniss Everdeen were targeted and altered to the point that he would view her as a threat and try to kill her in self-defense. When he, Johanna Mason, and Annie Cresta were rescued and taken to District 13 for medical treatment, he strangled Katniss on sight until he was knocked out by Boggs.”

Doctors from District 13 are careful about selecting someone to go in to talk to Peeta and explain everything he missed in captivity—someone who knew him in childhood, but someone who wouldn’t remind him of Katniss and trigger him.

In the movies, it was Katniss’ little sister, Primrose. In the books, it was Delly Cartwright.

“Peeta was confused, asking where they were and why his family had not been in to see him. Delly was under instruction not to say anything about Katniss or the Capitol, so she tried to redirect the conversation to happy childhood memories, and she struggled to explain what had happened to District 12. Peeta became agitated as he realized there had been a fire. He blamed Katniss for it, yelling that she was a muttation created by the Capitol.”

In an attempt to “re-hijack” Peeta—“calling up memories under the calming influence of morphling in order to associate them with positive emotions”—they show him footage from one of the games he and Katniss were in, where K was telling Peeta the story of how she got Lady (the goat) for Prim.

According to Haymitch, Peeta was very confused by the footage, and “he lost the ability to speak for several hours. Went into some sort of stupor. When he came out, the only thing he asked about was the goat."

The next attempt was via showing Peeta footage of K singing The Hanging Tree, and Peeta “said he recognized the song. When Peeta was six or seven, Mr. Everdeen sang it once when he came to trade at the bakery.

Peeta recounted that was listening to see if the birds had stopped singing. This was the first time that recalling a connection to Katniss had not triggered Peeta.”

Eventually during the point in Peeta’s recovery where he was allowed to eat with the rest of the population of District 13–handcuffed and accompanied by guards— he “sat next to Johanna and was kind towards Annie, though he showed hostility towards Finnick Odair and Katniss.

After Katniss left the table with Gale Hawthorne, Delly lectured Peeta about how he'd treated Katniss, and according to Johanna, "he started arguing with himself like he was two people" before he was taken away by guards.”

In the section labeled ‘the Battle of the Capitol,’ it’s noted that:

“He and Katniss discussed the confusing state of their relationship, and Peeta expressed doubt in his ability to tell what was real. Finnick told Peeta that if he was unsure, he could ask, since that's what Annie did. Inspired by this, Jackson devised the game Real or Not Real the next morning, and Peeta played it with the rest of the squad in order to sort out his memories.”

The next day, there’s an attack that blows off one of the men’s legs, and the chaos and noise triggers an episode in Peeta that causes him to attack and attempt to kill Katniss again. Its description on the Wiki is:

“Mitchell tackled Peeta and attempted to pin him to the ground, but Peeta threw him off into a mislabeled pod, killing him. The other soldiers managed to restrain Peeta and evacuate the area. Jackson got his handcuffs back on him, but this agitated him further, so he had to be locked in a closet.

He kicked the door for a while before eventually passing out. The squad relocated again, and when Peeta came to, he was wrought with guilt over killing Mitchell. He even asked the squad to kill him.”

Similar to the way Killer even seems to use touch to tell what is and isn’t real, Peeta demanded that they keep the handcuffs on him because the pain of them digging into his wrists kept him grounded. He then demands they cuff him to something else.

After the Second Rebellion, its noted that: “He saw Dr. Aurelius for treatment in the Capitol before he was eventually allowed to return to District 12 in early spring. He still experienced traumatic flashbacks, but he was able to rekindle his relationship with Katniss.”

In essence, this all points to a prolonged dissociative identity disturbance/change in identity due to torture, captivity, brainwashing, thought reform, and drugging. Aka, OSDD-2.

[n1ghtskyspace]

Heh i might as well post my whole document on Jim's Computer here

Character Analysis:

Jim is a robloxian who was driven to madness and constant paranoia by the news of the monsters. Since he lives alone, it’s safe to assume that he’s an adult, but probably not fit to live alone since he seems to have hallucinations and paranoia so great it leads him to suicide at the first sign of danger coming to him. It would be understandable if this situation lasted for months, even years. But this happens over 5 days. No sane man would be this mentally unstable, so I suspect he has some sort of anxiety disorder to make him constantly overthink, and probably paranoia. Further evidence is that you can see how his obsessive behaviour is so obvious normalised under his eyes, that it’s become some sort of routine to him every single night to check because he can’t tell that his delusions about someone being in his house are not real and he wholeheartedly believes he is, plus his visual + auditory hallucinations genuinely don’t help much in his case either.

Judging by how these only happen during the night, I can also conclude that Jim has a sleep disorder that could pair with his paranoia + hallucinations, maybe parasomnias or insomnia.

Game Analysis:

i love how the creator made the horror NOT APPARENT? You could obviously tell something was wrong and off with Jim but you couldn't tell he was spiralling right until the very end in day 5 when he buys the food and drinks and medicine and also the plot twist at the end actually gave me chills at the end the first time i played i was straight up screaming for jim not to kill himself im gonna SOB HE'S SO. i just feel so bad for him no one deserves to go through paranoia so great that it leads them to a spiral of suicide

this is imo the best horror game in roblox cause:

 there's no body horror, and as a lot of writers say: "bad horror is here just to scare you, and goes away after a while. good horror never leaves." throughout the whole game, there are clearly signs, but you can't piece together exactly what's wrong until the every end as the ending makes something click in your mind about what's happening

the unsettling parts of the psychological spiral of jim was so well executed, it was so realistic it perfectly encapsules how like people feel when they are absolutely paranoid and they can't discern reality from their delusions and the horror and irrationality that comes from it,

I LOVE HOW THERE ARE SUBTLE HINTS TOO??? LIKE. THE SHOPS ITEMS SLOWLY CHANGING TO FIT HIS MENTALITY (e.g. d4 he buys food water medkit, d5 he buys the gun and hammer and boards) and also how the sky turns in d5 to a deep sunset it makes it all the more forboding and genuinely gives you chills yet you can't figure out what Jim was going to do right until he did.

The STRANGER??? Okay this only furthers the plot because of how creepy it is. On D3, the stranger messages for him to "Prepare" and he faints right after because of how terrified he is, and also the stranger IS THE ONE TO DRIVE HIM to the madness of his killing himself okay. I feel like it could be interperted as a hallucination or a random person genuinely driving and fuelling his delusions to the point of no return,

[visionsofcarnality]

Ahhh thankyou for accepting the nightwing request, I'm so excited!! 💙💙

Dude the angst in this one spoke to me Im so excited.

It Will Come Back. D. Grayson.

“Honey, don’t feed me. I will come back.”

Synopsis: In a fight with a Court of Owls’ Talon, Nightwing is exposed to the weaponized Alice Tetch Virus (Hugo Strange weaponized strain.) This preys on his fears of being unable to protect his partner… Who comes face to face with a darker version of her lover’s alter-ego…

Warnings: Hallucinations (Auditory, tactile, and visual.), kidnapping, restraints, blood contagions, needles, injuries. Mention of mild gore and violence. Toxic mindset, personality alteration. Established relationship, female partner/reader. No use of Y/N.

(mdni below the cut, i am beyond dead serious)

Dick made it as far as three blocks from the Talon’s dead body before he started to hear things.

“You need to seriously consider what being in a committed relationship means for people like us.” Bruce slammed his hand down on the table tiredly, running the other through his inky hair, the strands showing a few hairs of grey amidst the darkness. “Every second you spend with her amplifies the danger she’s in.”

“You think I don’t know that…” He whispered, replaying the past week’s conversation as he leaned against an alley wall, clutching his head.

“She’s not safe. She never will be as long as she’s in your life.” The sound of the door slamming as he remembered he’d left the room after that particular remark.

He opened his eyes and tried to stand, blood rushing through his body at unnatural speeds. He looked down at his hands and ripped one glove off, breath stuttering as he noticed red veins climbing his skin.

“No…” He whispered. “No, no, no-“ He pulled his glove back on hastily, whipping around when he caught a glimpse of gold and green.

“Get the fuck away from me!” He hissed, glaring after the invisible attacker.

“Dick…” A soft, feminine voice. “That’s not what you really want.” A tall woman in a red, gold and green outfit appeared from the shadows, blood dripping down the side of her head just like the last time he’d seen her.

“Mom-“ He reached out a hand briefly before pulling it back. “What are- You’re dead.”

“Whose fault is that, Dick…” She laughed softly. “You think changing your uniform and your name makes you any less of my little flightless Robin.” Her soothing tone was so at odds with her words.

“Stop.” He begged, covering his ears, screaming aloud when blood suddenly spurted from her skull near her ear and a large, domed piece of bone fell from her head, pulling her scalp and some of her hair with it, leaving one side of her head cracked open like an acorn.

“Do you know what it feels like to fall, Dick?” She murmured dangerously, lifting her bloodied hand and touching his cheek, the contact hot, wet, and sticky. “To hit the ground with only your body to take the fall?”

“Stop it!” He shoved her back, her spin colliding with the opposite wall of the alley, her body splaying and cracking exactly how it had looked in the crime scene photos. How it had looked in his memories. The blood pooled on the wall as though she was lying flat, her body and the liquid defying gravity. Chunks of gray matter littered the wall.

Panting, eyes flitting about wildly, sprinting away from the alley and leaping to one of the lower rooftops, hauling himself above the streets.

“You think you can protect her, but you’re wrong!” That was Bruce now, standing in his path as he sprinted across the gravel rooftop. He skidded to a halt to avoid the collision, coming nose to nose with the taller man. “Everything you touch dies!” He hissed, and when Dick looked down he was clutching a familiar bloodied Robin uniform in his white knuckles.

“Your mother!” Bruce shouted, “Your father! Jason!” He lifted the blood stained uniform, dangling it in front of his face.

“It’s not my fault!” Dick cried desperately, closing his eyes only to open them and see that there was nobody there.

He had to get home. He had to get home. He had to make sure you were safe. His thoughts ran wild, preparing for any twisted and violent scene he’d come across when he entered your apartment.

You screamed when a body tumbled through your bedroom window, scrambling from your bed and backing against the wall.

“Baby-“ The man called but you didn’t wait, spinning to sprint for the door before two wide hands caught you by the arm and the torso, tugging you back against a hard body before a hand covered your mouth and nose.

“Don’t worry. I’m gonna keep you safe.” The rough voice spoke hotly against your ear, your arms and legs thrashing violently as he cut off your oxygen. “You’re gonna be safe. Nothing will hurt you. Ever.” Your fight started to give and your eyes fluttered closed, your chest aching from the lack of oxygen… Then you were gone to sleep.

You woke next with your head on something hard, groaning at the headache. You were cold. And damp… Where the hell were you? Opening your eyes wider you looked around, spotting the steep, water-slick walls. The ceiling arching high above your head. A subway station. Abandoned by the looks of it.

“Don’t worry.” A dark voice called from the shadows, causing you to scramble to your feet and back away, tears pricking in your eyes. “You’re safe now.”

“You can’t keep me here.” You spoke shakily, hands rubbing your arms against the cold and dampness. “People will come looking for me.” Your voice shook with uncertainty, watching the stranger’s head tilt in the low light, the movement slow and unsettling. “They’ll arrest you.” You swallowed, hard. “My boyfriend is a detective he finds missing people every week.” You tried to force more bravado into your voice than you felt, especially as the stranger slowly unfolded to his feet, moving in a strange, unnatural way like some demon.

He stepped out of the shadows and as the light spilled across his face you cried out weakly, putting one hand to your face in shock.

“Nobody’s gonna come looking for you, baby.” He spoke, his voice stranger and darker than you’d ever heard it. “You’re safe here.”

“Dick-“ You broke off, noting the prominent red veins on the whites of his eyes and tracking up his neck to his cheek, splaying across his face like a bloodied cobweb. “What are you-“

“I’ve got to keep you safe.” He hissed, getting closer even as you tried to back away, fear poignant in your body language. “No one will be able to find you here.”

Tears fell down your cheeks as he backed you against the wall, turning your head as he dipped his to get into your space, his hot breath, once welcome and comforting, now feeling like a threat.

“I’m doing this for you.” He insisted, gripping your cheek to turn your face harshly, his hold on your jaw bruising. “Can’t you see that? Everything I do, it’s always for you!” He was shouting now, triggering a low cry of shock and fear, your knees buckling as you slid down the wall, sinking to the floor and clutching your legs fearfully.

“Don’t!” He screamed, gripping his hair with one hand and stepping back, reeling. “You don’t get it-“ He sighed heavily, shaking his head back and forth and lifting a hand erratically before he turned out of nowhere to scream at the wall.

“Shut the fuck up!” He screeched, pointing at the empty space. “All of you! I need to fucking think!” He gripped his head in both hands.”

You watched his outburst through your tears, your whole body trembling in fear, scared of what he was capable of… You’d never seen him like this. You thought you’d known him but… maybe he was this all along. Maybe it was all a front. You didn’t want to think like that, but the man in front of you was not the one you’d come to love.

There was something seriously wrong with him.

“Dick, just-“ You swallowed hard, trying to put on a gentle tone. “Let’s take a walk, let’s go up to the street, we can go talk about this.” You tried to think of a way to convince him. “It’s cold down here, Dick, I’ll get sick.”

“No!” He roared, whipping back to you and throwing a knife in your direction. You screamed in terror, arms coming up to protect your head. Bit the knife landed next to you, not hurting you, but discouraging you from moving. “It’s not fucking safe up there? Don’t you get it? Nowhere is safe! You’re not safe unless you’re here!” He ranted, arms flailing in large gestures as he spoke. “With me! I’m the only one you can trust!” He insisted, desperation lacing his dangerous tone. “Me! I’m the one who keeps you safe!”

“Nightwing.” Another voice joined the cacophony. Both your heads turning in the direction of the deep timbre of the newcomer. Like an oil spill out of the shadow a dark cowl appeared, a long, shadowy cape following. The flash of a black symbol on dark gray armor.

The Batman…

“Stop this.” He said flatly, casually strolling between you two, slowly, trying not to trigger any sudden movements. “You’re not yourself.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Dick- Nightwing; shouted. “I told you to go away already!” He surged forward, some kind of long baton appearing in his hand, crackling with electricity as he lifted his arm in a deadly swing. The Batman dodged him, ducking behind the lithe man and locking his arms below his armpits, effectively putting him in a full nelson with one, thick arm.

“I’m not a hallucination, Dick.” The Batman spoke lowly. “You have to stop this. This is the virus, not you.” He jerked Dick’s head towards your cowering form, still sobbing quietly, terrified to move. “Look at her. You’re scaring her.” The Batman took the moment of hesitation from Dick as he stared at you to shove a thick syringe into his exposed neck.

Dick howled in rage, twisting and fighting in the Batman’s hold before falling limp, head dropping forward. The Batman restrained him at his hands and ankles on the ground before approaching you. “He’s unconscious. Unharmed.” He soothed, crouching to lift you to your feet. “I’m sorry this happened to you.” He apologized, unhooking his cape from his armor and draping it over your shoulders against the cold. “He isn’t himself. He was infected with a virus that caused him to act like this.” When your gaze wandered past him to Dick’s slumped form. He tipped your head away from the sight, far gentler than Dick had been. You’d no doubt be sporting a bruise by the morning. “That wasn’t him.” He spoke softly.

“Will he be…” You swallowed hard. “Will he be… him again?” You asked, wiping hasty tears across your cheeks even as more joined them.

“Yes.” The Batman said solemnly, turning to look at Dick. “For him… This will all have been a cruel dream.” He turned towards you again, “For you… It will be harder to go back. I can keep him away for a few days. Give you some space.” You nodded fervently, whimpering softly as your tears began anew.

“Red Robin, an associate of mine, is coming to make sure you get home safe.”

“I need to get to a hotel…” You spoke absently. “I can’t… I can’t go back home tonight.”

The Batman nodded. “He’ll leave you at a Hyatt. The room will be paid for for a week. Your clothes and any belongings you need will be dropped at the address.” He turned away, strolling back to you Dick. “Tell my associate what you need. We will make sure you have it.”

You stood there, wrapped in the most notorious vigilante in Gotham’s cape, watching him haul your unconscious boyfriend over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. You didn’t remember telling Red Robin what you needed, or him finding a way to get you set up in a hotel for the week.

You only remembered collapsing on the hotel mattress, still wrapped in the borrowed cape.

And crying yourself to sleep.

[cloudyskiiees]

with the rest of wrong try again plotted out in full, i’ve started plotting out an idea for my next possible long fic. and it’s not a mystery so i can post about it now in case i don’t end up writing it in full!!! yippie!! so here’s my alenoah based superhero au :)

(under the cut cuz it’s a massive post)

i’ve been working on this idea slowly over the last threeish months!!! im happy with the ideas so far and wanna share what’s up to see if ppl are interested :)

the fic would be called “The Masked Mentalist,” in reference to our protag, Noah! he’s considered a villain in this au by society. alejandro is considered a hero.

here’s the characters and their powers i’ve got so far! still subject to change if needed :)

Noah: Villain. “The Masked Mentalist” is his given name by the city, although he doesn’t actually wear a mask. Noah has the powers of “mental manipulation,” stretching to about four different tiers that take more energy depending on how much effort it takes to manipulate the brain.

1: Audio hallucinations. He has a “trademark” of making the world go completely silent for his victim before he attacks. He frequently drops random noises or screams into his opponent’s head to throw them off. It harder to mimic specific voices, which is why he opts to throw ppl off rather than emotionally attack them. Easiest of his powers.

2: Visual hallucinations are harder, but it’s the one noah is the best at. He’s great as messing with people’s appearances, making them see him and other people who may be around as others or sometimes just in horrifying situations. It’s also very simple for him to make someone think they’re trapped in walls or things like that, easy to create objects. He still struggles to completely change the look of an entire location however, which is why he opts to fight in open areas where fake visuals are easier to conjure.

3: Emotions are harder as well, and it can be tricky. he’s very good at pulling emotions from others such as rage or grief, as they’re very easily overpowering emotions. It’s simpler when his opponent is a more emotional/vulnerable person, so he shys away from emotional manipulation in fights usually, especially when he doesn’t know an opponent very well.

4: Memories are hardest, especially if they’re more recent. It’s fairly easy for noah to go and change someone perception on a childhood memory, as it was likely distorted already anyways. The clearer the memory the harder it is to manipulate.

As you can see, all four of these powers have to do with the mind. The way people see or hear things, as well as feel and remember. Noah’s powers allow him to attack any of those in a person.

There’s also technically a fifth one, which Noah figured out to do by himself.

5: The way he figures out how to hypnotize people is through memory AND emotional manipulation. Altering memories and then yanking on certain emotions to pull through, can help him get people to think and even partially act the way he desires. It’s exhausting, and incredibly rare for him to use.

Noah is able to keep his identity hidden by simply altering his appearance to whoever he is fighting. He usually seeks out people when alone, and does his best to not hurt innocents, despite what the public thinks. Everyone who’s fought him/seen him in action describes him differently. Most people aren’t even sure if he even is a “he,” because he makes himself look so drastic sometimes.

He occasionally works with a partner, although they don’t consider themselves to be aligned in general when it comes to crime.

Kaleidoscope is notoriously known for her random crimes and activities. No one can quite figure out her goal or intentions, and so she’s dubbed a vigilante by most.

This of course, being Izzy! When Noah fights with her, he occasionally helps mask her identity from others. She’s a bit reckless, but the two have a history together. A traumatic one at that!

Izzy’s powers are deterioration. She’s able to break/take things apart/crumble things with her mind. Her powers can be as simple or as drastic as she desires.

(She met Noah by saving him from someone attempting to hurt him. By completely destroying their bones from inside their body. Noah was both horrified and grateful.)

Moving on! Alejandro, a “superhero” in our story.

Alejandro doenst have superpowers. At least not in the way our other characters do! Everyone simply assumes he does.

Alejandro is clairvoyant, which is considered a gift, rather than a superpower. His family exploited his talents as a child, so when he was old enough, he fled to be on his own. Nowadays he uses his predictions to help others, being able to foresee certain disasters and small issues. His powers waver depending on their severity, and he has a habit of undoing a certain villains work without even knowing.

He’s dubbed “The Good Samaritan,” when first seen saving people. Over time, the city began to think he had superpowers, and his name changed to “The Physic Samaritan.” Alejandro avoids media and press as much as possible, seeing as it was all he was used to as a child, so no one knows any different. This does not serve him well when real super-powered folk begin to see him as a threat.

Onto our two real superheroes! (so far!!)

Lashawna is the cities main superhero. She’s been protecting citizens for about two years before Noah makes his debut as a villain. She has very standard telekinesis, and is about the most hero looking and sounding hero out there. Her name is “The Golden Hero,” later changed to “The Golden Woman” when she gains a sidekick. Everyone adores her!

Courtney is Lashawna’s sidekick, appearing with her mentor only a few months before Noah shows up. “The Golden Girl,” her powers being one of information absorbing. She’s able to quickly learn anything she needs, simply by skimming words or touching an object… or person.

There’s a bit of a roadrunner scenario for a while between her and Noah, where she’s simply trying to grab him in someway or another, as the action would reveal his real identity to her. Of course, Noah is able to easily evade her, as her powers have little to do with physical superiority. (She’s still incredibly strong and fast. It’s Courtney we’re talking about here.)

Before I talk about our real villain of the story, I’m gonna discuss some plot points!

-Courtney feels incredibly undervalued and overlooked. She thinks if she can manage to reveal the Masked Mentalist’s identity, people would finally start to give her more credit. Lashawna tries to help her calm down, but she’s very fixated on her mission.

-Noah wants control. Deep down he has good intentions, as he’s attempting to dismantle the upcoming “Heroes Program,” starting up in his city, but he loses sight of it for a while. Alejandro becomes a bit of an obsession for him, as he somehow has the entire cities trust while barely being in the public’s eye. It drives him crazy.

-Izzy has so much depth, but acts insane as a defense. She and Noah had very similar upbringings due to their powers, and a fuckton of issues that now stem from it. She hides her pain by acting as though she’s invincible.

-Noah and Izzy have a very deep bond. They truly trust each other more than anyone else, even their civilian friends.

-Team e-scope is very much present! Owen and Eva are humans, and are still best friends with Noah and Izzy. Neither have any clue their two best friends are well known criminals.

Alright actual plot time. And backstory for our super-powered characters!

As usual when it comes to superhuman realities, the powers come from genetic mutations. No one is too sure how it started, but superpowered people have been showing up around the world for the last twenty-ish years.

Children found out to have powers were, of course, taken by the government. At first it was out of fear, but after a few years, the public began retaliating. “Programs,” were then opened, and while it was presented as a choice for parents, it simply was not. If your child had powers and was found out, they would be forced into a program.

Lashawna and Courtney were both placed into a program as young children. Both were released after a number of years to become superheroes. Most children taken are not released.

Both Lashawna and Courtney lack memories from their time in the program. They are conditioned to be perfect superheroes, deemed “safe” for society, due to their powers.

Again, as expected, these “programs” are just ways for scientists to study the mutations in the children. At first there was an attempt to stop it, but nowadays, there’s more of a goal to simply replicate it. Children are treated like animals.

Based on your power, and your behavior, there’s a chance to be released as a hero, such as Lashawna and Courtney, as an example that these programs are a good thing. It’s a way to keep people happy, and keep the more dangerous powers under wraps, at least until they can find a “cure,” or a way to create the gene themselves.

Because each person is different, each mutation acts differently in a person, explaining all the different powers seen. Super powers are still incredibly rare, although they’re widely accepted as a truth nowadays. Two powers acting exactly the same has never been recorded.

Noah and Izzy were never put in a program.

They were smart kids. Noah realized his powers early on in his childhood, and was terrified. Stories of powers had been shown in the news by now, and he wanted nothing to do with it.

His mother discovers it on accident after a year or two of Noah being aware. He panics and attempts to erase her memories of it, failing miserably and only hurting himself in the process.

She promises to keep him safe, just as horrified as he is at the idea of losing her only son. It’s a terrifying childhood for Noah, constantly having to be on the lookout, never being able to openly use his powers, something that so quickly became such a huge part of his identity. He turns to subtly using his powers in public, able to help bring more money and such home for his family. He becomes incredibly talented with his powers as just a teenager.

Izzy never told a soul. She’s had more accidents with her powers than she cares to speak about. She learns of her powers a bit later in childhood, but still before becoming a teenager.

A ten year old accidentally dissolving someone’s skin from their hand when being picked on is a traumatic experience for anyone, but even more so when she kills the other child out of fear. She flees the scene, and loses her shit. She quickly figures out she has a dangerous power, and being just as smart as Noah at such a young age, hides it completely.

She had much less control over her powers for a number of years, being scared of herself.

It isn’t until she sees a man pressing someone clearly struggling to a wall in a dark alley she truly uses her powers for the first time, and makes her first friend. (This friend being Noah, of course.)

Yes very dark backstories for the sillies! They have an insane trauma bond.

With their backstories, you can kinda gather why Noah wants to take down the programs starting up again. They’re much more public this time, and that worries him. He knows nothing good can come from children being forced into such a program, even if he was never in one himself. Izzy is more than willing to help him out for the most part.

The actual plot of the story, of course, is alenoah. This being said, let’s talk about that!

Noah wants Alejandro’s influence on others. Wants the social power the “superhero” holds.

He and Izzy devise a plan to get that influence on their side.

To keep things relatively brief, they corner him, and Noah is able to successfully uses his created hypnosis power on Alejandro, simply getting him to trust Noah, as a civilian.

As soon as the deed is done, he and Izzy pose as his worried friends, claiming he’d fallen and hit his head. When Alejandro questions who they are, Izzy immediately pipes up with “He’s your boyfriend silly!” and Noah. Just. Has to roll with it. He can’t risk changing the narrative so quickly for the boy with the currently muddled memories, and he also can’t berate Izzy right in front of Alejandro. So he agrees.

The two discover after a little bit that he actually is not a superhero, and lacks powers in general. This pisses Noah off greatly, thinking his work was all for nothing. He continues with his plan nonetheless, seeing as no one else knew Alejandro didn’t have powers. That could be an advantage.

Alejandro gradually puts the pieces together over time, never fully recovering his memories, but being able to see through the fog Noah placed over them.

Everything is going pretty well, even with the residual feelings both boy are gaining as they pose as a couple. That is until the real villain of the story shows up.

Duncan! His powers are the ability to create weapons out of thin air, his trademark one being flying knives. The weapons disappear as soon as they hit a target, only being created by his mind, and usually shown as a faint green color. (this is a working idea! still not 100% on it, but i definitely want him to have a weapon related power.)

He was in a program as well, ironically, the same one as Courtney. He was not released, he escaped.

Being dubbed a “dangerous power,” Duncan was set to live the rest of his life out as a lab rat. Of course, being Duncan, he did not like this fate! He’s one of the few children to ever escape, and the only one know to come back as a supervillain.

He’s angry. He’s angry about everything, and with everyone. He’s especially pissed off with Courtney, who he believes simply abandoned him. Courtney doesn’t remember who he is.

No more details for now! (Both because I haven’t planned out enough 100% to post about, and some of it is just for the story!) But I hoped you guys like my silly AU ramblings! I’m having a good time with this idea, so lmk if it’s something you’d like to see more of in the future :)

[femceldogdyke]

r thhoselike schizophreniic sytmmoms cuz i ythought like the mainn diagnostic thanng is like halucinations (/i am alsso likethat)

i am not a mental health professional nor am i diagnosed with schizophrenia by a professional im just on the medication too treat it so take what i say with a spoonful of salt. i likely have paranoid schizophrenia which is categorized by excessive paranoid delusions such as they all hate me & are actively doing stuff too make my life worse (i once got a coffee and bc the lid wasnt on properly i immediately went too the thought of "this is deliberate and they want too make me appear foolish" rather than "oh they didnt put it on properly") another thing that can happen is disorganized thought patterns. i can be talking about one subject (the colour of the sky) and immediately pivot too another one (equis homestuck) with little to no relation on top of having "word salad" which for me primarily appears as saying a word that i really dont mean to say, like knife instead of saying sandwich. while i do have hallucinations most of mine are tactile (something alot of people dont talk about either) and have ranged from harmless too terrifying. the stereotype of you HAVE TO HAVE visual hallucinations too be schizophrenic annoys me to no end because you don't. if your really concerned id reccomend doing some research for yourself/talking too a mental health professional and again, im not that. good luck & i hope this helps! /gen also sorry abt the long read lol

(also if i got anything wrong and anyone sees this please do correct me!)

[schizotypalpd-culture-is]

this may have been asked before but could you explain what quasi-delusions/hallucinations are? ive tried looking it up but its a lil hard to understand hhhh

im actually not the most knowledgable on it either, because like you ive tried finding information but its a bit hard to understand, so remember that this isnt fact and i could be wrong. from what ive read though, quasi-psychotic experiences are defined as circumscribed (limited), short lived and non bizarre. this would usually mean that it can be somewhat rooted in fact/real life, and can know it isnt real but still feel it strongly. an example of a hallucination like this could be one of perception, where you look down to a tiled floor and it looks like its moving in some way, but you cant tell if its a visual effect or not, or you cant tell if it really is a hallucination or if youre "thinking it" into existence. an example of a quasi-delusion could be one where you think a childhood adversity was deserved (example taken from google), which isnt bizarre and isnt a typical "full-blown delusion". both of these examples would be short lived (not lasting more than a couple days) and exists in the sort of "grey area" between normal and not normal. so i guess a simple way of explaining it is something thats a bit more than a normal thought or visual difference but not exactly to the length of a delusion of hallucination? i dont know if that makes much sense but i hope this can help. as always, if i got something wrong or if someone wants to add anything, please put it in comments or reblogs!!

[icarewhatyouthink]

a collection of various blurry thoughts that i had thought i’d posted but it turns out i didn’t:

a lot of these headcanons, start out as jokes between my friends and i late at night and then i gø intø my little corner and keep thinking so just keep that in mind as you read

———————————————————————————

due to how little experience with the world blurry has, i imagine he has a lower pain tolerance than tyler and also tends to react more to pain or illness. a minor scrape might be fine for tyler and he can just keep gøing like nøthing happened, blurry will experience the same thing and to him it is much worse, therefore he will react as if it was worse. he has no experience with anything worse, sø tø him this is like the worst pain he’s ever felt. he tries hiding it but he sucks at it and is much more genuine when reacting to pain because of how relatively young he is.

———————————————————————————

blurry is incredibly clingy, both physically and emotionally. i mean just look at how many photos from blurryface era have him literally holding onto spooky. he doesnt like being left alone, which usually results in his thoughts spiraling uncontrollably, so having someone there to either prevent it or stop it when it does start helps.

hes got a mix of that and a fear of abandonment as well, maybe one of the only things he’d have in common with clancy seeing as he also doesn’t enjoy being alone.

———————————————————————————

ok and this is the one i was making this whole post abøut to begin with (its also the one im most scared of people seeing but yeah)

blurryface, being an entity created from things such as insecurities, anxieties, doubts, and øther mental illness-related things, is prone to experiencing the symptoms of these things as it is vital for him to experience these things to fulfill his role. insecurities and anxieties do not act rationally, and unfortunately that means blurry needs to also operate irrationally.

one way to achieve this is to alter his perception of the world around him by making it a lot scarier than it actually is in order for him to perceive more things as threats and to act accordingly. in the timh mv, it is implied that blurry experiences some form of hallucinations, where he sees people staring at him and their eyes and mouths morphing.

i don’t think this is the only thing he experiences. i imagine he experiences a number of hallucinations (mostly visual but also auditory and some other), as well as some form of delusions. the vast majority of these things scare him deeply while others are just obnoxious, and cause him to lash out at people, argue with them, and isolate himself from others. he would be the type to refuse help and refuse to even talk about the things he’s experiencing or to admit sømething is wrong, given this is all he knows and all he has ever known. these things cause him genuine distress, it’s not fun.

they worsen or improve based on blurry’s own mental state. the worse he’s doing, the more likely he is to experience sømething or to experience more things, and the more likely he is to react badly and continue to worsen things for himself. being able to see through øthers’ eyes helps, as does having a place (such as an empty mindscape) where he can shut out the world completely to avoid things.

what doesn’t help is that for him, the likelihood of these things being real is more probable to him, considering that he himself isn’t human and experiences the world differently than humans do.

over time he has learnt methods to try to mitigate the hallucinations and delusions’ effects, but it’s difficult because of his reluctance to talk about them or accept any help from øthers, or to admit sømething is happening or affecting him in the first place. his identity is so attached to how he acts and how others perceive him, and these things don’t help him maintain that. that or he thinks he can handle it on his øwn, or that what he is experiencing is real.

normally these are strictly restricted to blurry, but if he’s particularly stressed then his host can experience them as well, but likely not to the same degree.

full list below cut:

sø full list øf hallucinations and delusions:

visual hallucinations:

- floating glowing eyes in his periphery/edges øf his vision that are watching him/løøking at him

- peoples’ eyes getting larger

- shadow people that follow him from room tø room, usually appear in corners

- seeing himself but with nø face, replaced by dripping void with the nine dots

- his hands staining things

- his hands dripping paint

- his face blurring in mirrors or photos

- seeing dogs in the distance

- seeing rabbits darting arøund

- dogs eating rabbits in the distance/dogs holding rabbits in their mouths

- the bishops appearing in corners (sometimes øne, sometimes multiple, rarely all nine) (they follow him too)

- peøple appearing as skeletons før split seconds between blinks

- peøple having nø face

- peøple having his markings/staining

auditory hallucinations:

- hearing whispers in his ears that he can’t understand what’s being said

- peøple calling his name (sometimes whispers, sometimes regular volume)

- hearing birds

- hearing a piano in the distance

øthers:

- smelling rotting flesh/decay

delusions:

- writing sømething døwn, doing sømething, ør saying sømething that he didn’t

- peøple løøking at him and judging him

- peøple wanting tø hurt him (ør having plans tø)

- tyler ør josh wanting tø hurt him (ør having plans tø)

- everyøne is dead ør he is dead

- he is rotting from the inside out

- everyøne hears or sees what he thinks

- he can’t gø outside ør gø certain places because it will kill him ør hurt him badly

- he can’t touch the floor ør touch a certain thing and if he døes he will die ør get hurt badly

- he is staining things ør peøple

- he isn’t real

as you can see i have too much time on my hands and too many brain cells bumping against one another and thinking about this creature

[schizopositivity]

Howdy! Hope youre well! Also im an old time follower here (I had to abandon my old blog but anyway) I have chronic schizophrenic, and I get the advice to meditate and be mindful and all that, and I keep trying but whenever I try to meditate the voices get louder and more annoying which isn't ideal or relaxing so I have a pretty strained relationship with meditation. I was just wondering if you or any followers know tips to meditate with schizophrenia? I really want it to work but it's a struggle and no one around me understands, they just say try harder or tell me to be more mindful, which isn't helpful because I've already tried that haha anyway thanks!

I think I might be uniquely qualified to answer this, my mom is a yoga teacher and taught me meditation as a teenager.

I think meditation is actually very hard, especially the kind where it's silent and you try to turn your brain off completely. That is something i think is a struggle for anyone, but especially for people with intrusive thoughts and/or auditory hallucinations. Our brains love filling in the silence.

My advice would be to try guided meditations, there's tons of free videos on YouTube. This way there is someone talking you through what to visualize and focus on. You can find ones with music and sound as well, so there's no silence. And if you don't want someone talking, but don't want silence either, you can find videos for "sound baths", which is another way to meditate with noise going on.

Another thing you could try is chanting meditation. This doesn't have to be tied to any particular religion or spirituality if you don't want it to, you can just copy the sounds and find your own meaning in them. Or just do your own chanting, repeating sounds over and over can be very calming. (I used to go to a Krishna lounge and chant as a teenager, and even though I don't subscribe to the religion, I found comfort in the repetitive sounds).

One thing to keep in mind is that sometimes meditation takes a lot of practice before it is effective. And it can look different for everyone, you can meditate with heavy metal playing if it soothes you, you can meditate while scribbling on paper, you can meditate with a fidget toy, whatever works for you. There's no wrong way to do it, it's super personal for everyone.

[simonfairchildirl]

Yes! Autistic Elias truth!!!!!! I also HC Elias with psychotic depression (MDD). He's never been diagnosed with either and has no idea. He does have visual distortion (warping shapes in the dark. Casual color shifting. Patterns in his vision) as a visual hallucinations. And his auditory hallucination is his dad sitting in the stem of his brain telling him he's lazy or just whatever shit his brain can come up with. He doesn't have tactile hallucinations.

UR SO REAL FOR THAT IM GONNA GO INSANE GRRRGGRGRGRGRRRRGRGRRRGG

literally the only autism hcs i see are for jon and peter and MAYBE martin or tim on a good day. like. my brother pls branch out. elias has autistic charm i sense it in my bones.

i think elias has a whole list of shit going on and he doesnt really know whats going on and he just says fuck it we ball and ignores all of the things wrong with him. i believe in crutches user hypermobile elias. spread the lords good word

i actually cannot keep my mouth shut about this send help chat is this real

[sparkling00yev]

My intro ༊*·˚

About me(о´∀`о)

My names yeva or yev

Perfectionism

17yrs old

bi

She/her

I smoke, drink severely

Lowk a vent acc or wtv just posting random stuff so i ill have a reason to live

i love reading books/playing visual novels/games/watching random anime/i watch gore to feel something/i play chess/tennis and i used to do boxing and taekwondo and judo so bunch of sports but stopped all

I LOVE DOOMED YURI

A sadistic

idk whats wrong with me but mentally unstable whos parents refuse to get diagnosed to protect there reputation

i love watching old japanese movies

i have a bunch if anyone wants recommendation

my favourite characters (saya,light yagami,naomi misora,ame chan,lilico,jongwoo,seomoonjo,kangel,yuichihasumi,) i have more im lazy to put em all

I LOVE NASTYONA

I love fashion any kind

Ill be moving south korea next year

I never leave the house unless i have to

moroccan/korean

i collect plushies,teeth

I have bad hallucinations

Lack empathy

[corpsefiction]

hellooo

🪦 - would u rather spend a whole night alone in an abandoned hospital Or a graveyard? (ur in no danger)

🍖 - do u experience phantom feelings? like limbs or pains?

🪞 - did u come back wrong, or did u come back urself (or maybe, did u come back better)?

📼 - are u a fan of horror/thriller media like movies and games? if so, do u hav any favorites?

:>

hey hey!!

🪦: this is pretty tough. i think both are almost equally desirable. graveyards are a quiet kind of peace. it would be just me and the ghouls, and i could enjoy the cold fresh air (which is a largely contributing factor to 'feeling zombie') and the nice calm aesthetics. on the other hand, a hospital feels more apocalyptic and primal in a sense.

if i had my own grave and coffin, i would take the graveyard.

🍖: i do have a lot of phantom sense for more than just being undead. part of this has to do with tactile hallucinations i have aswell which can make things complicated. occasionally i can feel the sensation of bones breaking with pressure (no pain) i cant say i have feelings for any extra limbs. i feel bites on my arms legs and shoulder most commonly. during episodes i may also hallucinate these visually. my chest cavity is perpetually open always. i have motor/vocal tics, breathing problems, and body aches all the time. I like to imagine its because im rotting from the inside out, even though its just a medical thing

🪞: i came back wrong. it was grotesque and filthy and horrifying, but from an outside perspective. i have never personally felt wrong, from a lack of emotional connection to previous humanity.

📼: oh gosh so so many. horror and thriller media is a favorite topping all and its hard to narrow it all down. to stick to the theme, any zombie films or undead films in general i deeply resonate with in relation to a kin identity. zombie cult massacre was good. the last of us is a favorite for reasons beyond the zombies, but it has some of my favorite zombies on the planet.. anything gross and icky is good. i like a visual focus with corpses and zombies for the aesthetic, plot is just a bonus for me.

other than zombie media, i really like the saw franchise and the first scream movie. Rob Zombie's trilogy is soooo good (i love sheri moon zombie with my whole heart if that wasnt apparent from my icon lawl) and im obsessed with baby firefly. silence of the lambs is super good I LOVE BUFFALO BILL AND SHES ALSO INCREDIBLY ME. im so derailing here. my best friend showed me jacobs ladder a few months ago, and thats another favorite.

ps for anybody who reads this post i so take horror recommendations especially if it has to do with zombies.

[lemonade-luvr]

I MEAN THATS AS FAR AS I KNOW. to be fair all i’ve heard abt it is You fucking hallucinate shit .thats literally it .

where the fuck did i get the idea you were having hallucinations then......... hmmm. however, i also dont get many hallucinations! at least not visual ones. im much more privy to tactile and auditory stuff!

im gonna infodump. autistic style. and if i accidentally desstroy your worldview, im so sorry. you have been warned.

IT GOT REALLY LONG SORRY FUCKKKKKKKK

schizophrenia is actually very similar to an autism diagnosis! at least from an outside perspective. it comes with flat tone and struggles with facial expressions and all that jazz! it can also make it really hard to think and leads to a very scattered mind??? idk how to describe it . because of the . well we call it brain scramble! i think its called something like word salad though.

the main defining thing about schizophrenia is the presence of psychosis, which is further defined by hallucinations, delusions and paranoia o^_^o

hallucinations CAN include seeing stuff that isnt there, though thats a really simple understanding of visual hallucinations. the visual hallucinations i tend to get are stuff in the corner of my eye and the walls kinda.. Shifting. nothing immediately distressing. but i know there are people with way more scarier things going on.

auditory hallucinations are something i experience a lot more, and theyre just.. hearin stuff that wasnt ever there. my brain loves the discord notification sound and like. splatoon sound effects. sometimes i hear someone yell the body's name!

there are also tactile hallucinations which is feeling a sensation that wasnt real. we get these ones the most. a good example isssss well rn im getting The Bugs. like buddy theres no bugs here you are feeling hair probably and yet even then i still feel it eugh eugh eugh. our headmates can make use of our tactile hallucinations to give me pats on the head though, which is nice o^_^o

delusions are simply believing something that isnt true wholeheartedly. i dont reallly like to share mine because im scared of people playing into them or thinking theyre cringe BUT i will share that we have fully believed ourselves to be in future london before. which is really fucking funny you are allowed to think this is funny. we are in the wrong country for that buddy. you can be fully aware that somethiing isnt true and still believe it! its fucked up! they should make that illegal. these are the mind killer i hate these little bastardsssssss... delusions are very versatile. its also like thinking mundane things are signs.... theres a lot to say on delusions.

paranoia is the one thats really easy to comprehend its just intense and unfounded anxiety. me when i overthink everything to death. me when everyone on the bus knows im gay.

also it makes it really hard to Word Shit. sometimes i cannot comprehend the english language despite it being the only one i fucking know. On that Topic. Sorry if this is Incomprehensible. i actually genuinely Cannot Tell. its usually fine but sometimes i just feel like i cant get ANYTHING across correctly.

impaired motor coordination is also a thing? which makes it hard for me to type sometimes and also do things like, idk, drink my monster energy without spilling it and pissing off charles. sorry charles. damn. UH theres also a lot of repetitive behaviours, and catatonia. it can come with memory issues and FATIGUE BIIIIITCH and BUDDY am i FEELING the fatigue today. AUGH AUGH AUGH.

oki think thats all i have to say on the matter unless u have questions

i feel so fucking nuts right now i dont know if its the rush of i just got to infodump or if im manic :sosonormal: <you are manic <thanks babygirl in my head. god i hope this is comprehensible

ONE TWENTY ONE GUNS 💥

[herosplatling-replica]

hallucinations

zombie apocalypse au (Freya POV, 1119 words)

content warnings: descriptions of wounds and some first aid, visual and aural hallucinations

[ A/N: as it turns out........ im very easily swayed at the idea of writing drabbles for aus o(T▽To) this is just a short thing but i hope you enjoy! ]

“Phew… back in one or more pieces,” Freya mumbled as she locked the gate behind her.

She was definitely bleeding - but no one else was hurt, and she had gotten a good haul today. A nice mix of both food and medicine. That was good enough for her.

“Now to just get a shower to clean this blood off-”

“Freya…!!” 

Freya froze in her tracks as she felt a harsh pull on the back of her jacket, dragging her in the direction of the camp’s medbay. “J-jeez! Jeanne, it’s fine!” 

“No, it is not! You know you can still bleed out!” Jeanne huffed, stomping as she marched on. If Freya shut her eyes, she could just see her girlfriend’s face all red from anger. 

“Look, we can just-” “No! I’m taking you to Nex, and she’ll figure out what to do with you. I already told you that you need to stop taking bites for me!” 

She DID say that, Freya’s thoughts echoed to herself. You’ve been ignoring her this whole time. 

Well, it wasn’t like she was trying to ignore her on purpose or anything. Freya’s thought process in the heat of danger was to protect others, and that was amplified twofold once she found out about her immunity to the Cobalt Flu. She just couldn’t help it.

“S…sorry,” Freya mumbled out, letting herself get dragged as she pressed a hand to a bite wound on her forearm. The still-red blood seeped into her skin as she did so. “I just-” 

“Look, just… let me take care of you,” Jeanne said, the worst of the anger passed. “Please.”

Freya didn’t blame Jeanne for being angry. She was acting stupidly reckless, even though she’s been told by Jeanne Nex and Idunn to be more mindful of her surroundings while on supply runs. 

Either way, she felt guilty. She’s supposed to be helping them, not the other way around. It felt wrong for them to waste resources on her. 

Eventually Jeanne pushed Freya into a worn chair, in an empty room in the clinic. "Stay there. I mean it," she grumbled. Freya simply nodded in resignation, getting comfortable. 

Jeanne stepped out to get medical supplies, leaving Freya alone with her thoughts. What did that make this, the fifth time she took a bite for Jeanne? Her bloodwork had shown that the infection wasn't progressing at all, so it was fine for her to take these shots for the person she loved. 

But even still, it's not something that she wants. It's just… if she gets infected, what if I can't get her back? 

Freya hadn't admitted that she was afraid of that possibility. The idea that she could lose her girlfriend to the Cobalt Flu, knowing she had the solution in her bloodstream somewhere. What if the vaccines didn't work? What if some other side effect arose? The constant questions kept her up at night. 

The door clicked open and Jeanne finally returned, wearing nitrile gloves and a face mask. Freya couldn't help but relax at the sight, sinking back into the chair. 

"Alright… do you have more than one this time, or did you get lucky?" Jeanne said, setting down a first aid kit on a table. 

"Just the one," Freya mumbled, not wanting to admit she didn't need to intercept more because of how alert she became after the first bite. 

"Good, that's good." Jeanne knelt to examine Freya's forearm, a bottle of antibiotic ointment in her hand. "You've been applying pressure?"

"Since we got back." 

"Good. Hold this for me," Jeanne murmured, passing the bottle of ointment to Freya's uninjured hand. She rose to grab a bottle of water, uncapping it to pour it over the bite wound. 

The cold water was a welcome relief, and Freya shut her eyes. It was around the time that this usually happened that she would start to hallucinate. For some reason, her immunity made her very loopy while her body was recovering. 

"Is it happening again?" Jeanne asked gently, wiping over Freya's forearm with what felt like a soapy cloth. 

"I think so," Freya mumbled. "I can see that person again." 

She could see that person's face. Cold blue eyes, black sclera, long dark blue hair. Vela was almost observing her in the chair from afar.

"Vela, was it?" 

"Mhm." 

"Okay. Just hold still, sweetheart." 

Freya could feel the antibiotic ointment being spread along the bite wound. She nearly flinched, but focused on counting back from 30 in her head to try to keep her mind occupied.

"Almost done," Jeanne murmured, gently patting Freya's shoulder. "Just bandages now." 

"Okay," Freya managed to say, finding she wasn't able to tear her eyes away from the hallucination. 

Vela stood by her chair now, standing opposite of Jeanne. They tilted their head, almost intrigued by what they were seeing. 

"Still immune. Interesting. I wonder what happened with you?" Vela's voice warbled out, the sound rippling in Freya's ears. 

"Huh?" Freya mumbled, feeling her head spin. This part was normal, she reminded herself, it's part of the hallucination. 

"Are they speaking to you again?" Jeanne asked, wrapping gauze around Freya's forearm. Freya just nodded numbly, certain she looked like a fool. 

"You don't look like a fool. You just look sick. You need to stop doing this to yourself." Vela crossed their arms, leaning back. 

"They're saying I gotta stop doing this to myself," Freya said, not even sure if she was actually vocalizing it. However, given Jeanne's strained smile and the feeling of the bandages almost tightening uncomfortably, she figured she did say it out loud. 

"Why do I always see you anyway..?" Freya murmured, not even sure if the hallucination could answer. 

"Because I'm in your head." Vela smiled thinly, not elaborating further. "Rest up now. Your girlfriend will kill you otherwise." 

"Vela's saying I should sleep," Freya relayed, feeling tired. 

"You should. Do you want me to carry you to a hospital bed?" Jeanne asked, tying the bandage off. 

"Yes please." 

Jeanne chuckled under her breath, lifting Freya into a bridal carry with ease. Freya simply laid her head against her girlfriend's chest, feeling she was starting to doze off. 

Vela was following them. 

"D'you think Vela's, like… cool?" Freya mumbled, trying to keep her eyes open for a bit longer. 

"Maybe. It sounds like they just want you to take care of yourself." 

"That I do. You're fascinating to me." 

"They say I'm fascinating. You think so?" 

Jeanne laughed. "Yeah, that's why I'm dating you. I think you're very fascinating, Freya." 

Freya smiled at that, her eyes too heavy to keep open. "'m glad." 

"Sleep, sweetheart. I'll make sure you'll be fine, okay?" 

"Mmkay. Love you." 

"Love you too, darling." 

[eegrroegguorroe]

im tired of the annals of psychiatry every mental health professional ive told about (all this intensifies so much more to the extent it gives me tachycardia when i am stressed) the recurrent delusions of police or my mom or my dad coming back from the dead (and possibly hiring the police he was on the commission of) to xray my room and trudge through my whole room inspecting everything and spy on me through everything i can perceive because everything has a face and eventually rape me, and the recurrent auditory hallucinations i have echoing these beliefs and my thoughts making me scared people can hear them so i have to plug my ears or put in earbuds and wince so hard/visual hallucinations of really unsettling faces and the faces of those i know and love, just chocks it up to anxiety and depression. i know labels arent the end all be all, theyre a vague generalization that you have to make work for you, but i wish i at least had something to start from to know whats wrong with me and to better myself because i keep just getting stuck in the same loops of crashing out at the people i love because i see connections where there arent and get scared again and even the fact im self-aware of this doesnt prevent one bit of it in the slightest