#if you eant ofc

[goat--ish]

You should do it with the next cursed post you see

Paying to forced feed your post to random people is kinda weird. I still did it with my first post, but still, it’s like paying for a screen at Time Square to show strangers your mental illnesses.

[crazyfortheclassics]

I remembered I had a storyline where its like character erasure but everyone seems to be moving on fine without them. They see their best friend at their highest point and they look so so happy. Until later at the end the mood shifts. The colors were bright outside and once they've gotten home there’s a use of more cool colors and their smile fades into something bittersweet. They begin to write a letter. Somewhere at the end they seem to be missing something from their life and they’re tired of chasing something that isn’t there. The erased character begins to panic, trying to get their best friend to stop but no one can hear or feel the character. The best friend takes their life

[sewer-freak]

LONG ASS MESSAGE WARNING!!!! I have Things to Share! You've not been super online lately so I've complied sum shit that may be of interest to you.

(turning off my pink text bc normal text is easier on the eyes for big messages likethis)

I've Accepted that my instinctive feelings toward your buddy Cain are. Different from yours and uhhhuhhhhh usually try not to make Too big a thing of it. (TBH, I get an instinctive bad vibe from. Most people. So that on its own isn't enough to go off of anyway.)

however!!!! I have reason to believe that he is The Kiwi Creep. (<- I gave him a name like they do for prolific killers)

Firstly, I present to you: These posts! I'm not a huge fan of this girl's either, but it is super useful that people just confess their dark incriminating secrets to her sometimes.

https://www.tumblr.com/heavensentofficial/757394760772337664/everything-is-alright-yes-its-just-not?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/heavensentofficial/757737395132186624/apologies-for-the-late-acknowledgment-thank-you?source=share

(The second one has confirmation that this the same person that's been harassing you!)

"Anyway, I’ve been intentionally misleading people. Or, one particular person.

She’s someone I truly hold dear and appreciate, yet I’ve been anonymously sending her sadistic, lewd fantasies I have about her. They make her scared and uncomfortable, but every time I send them, she comes to me for help. …Without knowing it’s me."

"I can’t keep up the act anymore, I feel as if everything’s blurring together. I’m hurting her. Yet I’m the person she seeks comfort from. She’s coming to the very person who’s causing her issues in the first place and she has no idea."

Sound familiar???

I find it interesting too that The Kiwi Creep instead of going to Cain like you suggested went to this totally uninvolved person! (Kind of like how you never see Batman and Bruce Wayne in the same room!)

Coincidence? I for one think not!

If this isn't enough, he recently announced he'd be going on break.

https://www.tumblr.com/divinetouchdown/757916668887515136/hello-all-i-have-an-important-announcement-to?source=share

To do what? To handle an issue offline with higher ups at the temple. Guess he decided the coal-walking wasn't enough...

I don't usually go there anymore bc the local temple is built on abuse, puritanical hypocrisy and stuffing people into nasty, hard to clean chastity devices, but because I wanted to get to the bottom of this, I dressed up as Edin, who he'd trust, to see if I could get footage of him doing the things The Kiwi Creep said he'd do. I have some videos I can send you in DMs if you want em.

To top it all off, I got an account of his character from someone else that knows him.

https://www.tumblr.com/poorsadorphanposting/757925978181943296/hi-hi-%CB%86%E1%97%9C%CB%86-i-hear-youve-talked-to-one-mr?source=share

I personally think it's pretty fucking damning but you ofc are free to reach your own conclusions.

Anywayz I hope you're alright n I know this ask is probably kind of overwhelming gihfuoji;kl ... Idk if putting it all out there like this is even helpful but I feel Strongly about The Truth being important. Feel free 2 take your time n figure out how you feel about this info n stuff idfk

hi. yea sorry idont have a good consept of timr. im mot on here alot. immrlyy truing to thnk words but its hard. id o not feel well.

i also get bad vibes feom everyone but idk idk cain i felt like. like he proved hilmself to me like he was different he said he was and he was but ffXKKNG KIWI SAID HE WAS DIFFERTN AND FHAT IF I KNEW WHO HE WAS I wouldd dhnage my tone oh nnyhod im going to be sick

wwwhhatt do yiu mean “shes comjing tothe bery peraon who is causing her jssues” hes so nice why WHYDO I MAKE EVERYUONE WANT TO HURT ME?! clearly he doesnt eant to feel like that he told me it frustrated him and hedidnt know what to so with the feelings i provoked him i always dducking do this i shojldnt interact with anyone evwer

ii i i dont kniw alot about the temple 8 only know whathes told me .,,, i thought he wpuld twll me to join but he neverdid it was alwaays more like “come to me with ur issues i can fix them!” idk idk idk

can

can you send me the vjdeos

i fffrll so horrible idont know what to do

[ispreadrabieslikewildfire]

Please tell me about Harper and Feena!

OMEHAGUROHMEGAUR OKOKOKOKOKOKOK SOSOSOOSOSOSO (thamk yo uso much TEHE) alao im sorry if this makes NO SENSE im spilling my head into paragraphs and not proofreading rhis is gonna end HORRIBLY but i hope you enjoy😭!

Anwyay so harper and feena started when @thatbiblicallyaccuraterat asked me to draw a silly guy eating monster much and he turned into harper (ill link some pictures to show) and he felt lonely so i made him a friend called feena and theyve been a thibg since then HOLY SHIT I THINK ITS BEEN 2 YEARS?????

Harper and feena r supposed to be my silly ocs that are my go toos when i start daydreaming and drawing! Their not supoosed to have too much trauma and stuff (IM CONTAINING MYSELF) so i camt head empty and harper its also so when i draw them they make me happy they are my happyness. So becazue i cant give them trauma i make altermate realitoes where i CAN give them trauma!!

Im gonna make sections so i caj explain everthing so it can atleast try to make sense

1. THEIR RELATIONSHIP :3

Ok so when i started I made them friends ofc!! And i thought they where cool as hell so i started thinking about their relationship and i was thinking how wierd it would feel if they where a couple so their thing is that their completely platonic and are jist realy close friends that are realy comfortable with each other, i wouldnt say like 'siblings' but more like that one cousin that your realy close with. I like to think of them as denji and power from chainsaw man (however i see denji and power as more of siblings) but no matter how close they get with eachither they dont feel anything romantic :3 i have a thing that when they where 14/15 they where like fuck it lets kiss and they hated it!!!!! they wanted to die!!!!!

I also have different ages for them i draw them as for whatever mood im in! So i have toddler harper and feena (theyve met in primary school) and then children harper and feena (10-12) and then theres also teen (14-16) and preadult idk forgot what its called (17-19) and adult! (20-22) by 20-22 they have an appartment with 2 other roomates nadia and caspian i dont realy have a story for them yet however they do have designs. So basically they jsut spend their entire lives together as besties and this is their main world where their happy and have no trauma and are just silly!!

2. Sexualities n stuff

Well im nor good at this stuff since i realy have no kmowledge but i kinda just peojected me and @thatbiblicallyaccuraterat onto them...

Harper:

Bisexual, he/they. Dyslexic and/or is on the autism spectrum idk i dont think much about this

Feena:

Aro/ace or Asexual i havent decided, goes by anything. I honestly dont even know she is any and all illnesses

3. Childhood and all

So i dont wanna give them a traumatic childhood since their my silly chracters!!

HOWEVER, they do have some sort of backstories.

Feena:

Some sort of religious trauma, her family where 100% praise our lord and saviour jesus christ and she didnt feel part. Knew what she was when she was a teen and after harper came out and was more comfortable. Didnt tell her parents until she moved out, (they very obviously didnt take it well) however is still in touch with them!! Their just kinda realy uncomforable whenever the subject changes to jesus or gay stuff idk.

Harper:

Twas a bit (a lot) stupider than most people his age (austismmmmm) his parents payed more attention to their sisters so that they could have a better education instead of wasting their time on a child thatll never learn and refuses to listen (wasnt diagnosed till he was an adult so they thought he was being annoying purposefully). Tbh just whats a hug LMAO. He came out to his parents, they told him it was just a phase and theylll get out of it eventually.

So ya!

4. The cats need their own section

So ive always eanted these 2 cats, one called jester one called mariposa. So if i cant have them whats better than having my oc that represents me having them?

This is jester! (SHES PREFECT THIS IS HOW I ENVISION HER)

This is mariposa :3

5. Universes

Like i said since i dont want harper and feena to have too much trauma i create new universes for them! Other than my main ailly one theres another 3 i favour out of all the ones i make

1. I made a dystopian after apocolypse one (MY PERSONAL FAVOURITE ITS SO FUN TO MAKE!!) where the aftermath is that the world (well at leats where their living) is split into two, the privlidged and less priveledged (I NEED NAMES FOR THESE I DONT HAVE ANY) anywwy what i think i can best decribe this as is like the hunger games, where theres the 'capitol' and the 'districts' but instead of there being districts its all just survival of the fittest L lmao so yah. So after the apocolypse harper and feena are split up. Feena ends up with the privileged and harper ends up with the less. Harper finds a place he can call 'home' (FOUNDFAMILYFOUNDFMILYFOUNDFAMILY) and feena ends up on the other side where she gets her memories wiped and she then hets brainwashed to belive she was sent down as a gift from god during hard times and everyone is supposed to worship her (tehe i wont bother yiu with any more of this story)

2. Silly little 80s teen ghost busting show like scooby doo with harper feena nadia and caspian

3. detective harper and feena (havent built a lot)

6. I FORGOT TO ADD DYNAMIC

So basically feena can be smart when she wants to but chooses to fuck around with harper, quite a bitch if you guys just met. Pretty resereved when shes around people she doesnt know amd her social skills arent great. If you give her a chance she can be quite nice and passionate. Can ramble for hours on ends

Harper, guys hes trying his best. Loud, can ramble for hours on end too.

And thats all i can think of...sorry for ramblong so much i jist realy love them. i dont expect anyonw to actually read this... Once again this is just me projecting me and @thatbiblicallyaccuraterat onto harper anf feena!

Thank you @rainbowghostcat sososoososo much i love youuahahhah <333

Ill attach drawing of them in the mprning!

[meglyfer]

AKSJDJD IM SO GLAD U LIKED MY DREW FANART 😭 I WANTED TO DRAW THEM SINCE I FIRST SAW THEM ABD IT WAS VERY FUN TO DO IT!! ALSO u mentioned a google doc about them and I’m curious to see it(if u eant ofc), I find your character really cool and interesting and I really want to learn more about them akskd

OMG, MY BABY'S GOT EVEN MORE FANS, TEEEHEEEE :333

I was gonna sit down and write a giant text about Sasha and everything about them, but then I remembered that I'VE ALREADY DONE THAT, so I'm gonna leave you the link to that post → here ←

Regarding the doc I mentioned (Forgot it wasn't anything public), I can send it to you privately if you want, but keep in mind two things 1_ There's a bunch of stuff in Spanish, so sorry if you can't read that 2_ The doc is made with my mail account, which has my full name 💀, so please don't share it with anyone

If you have any questions about her FEEL FREE TO ASK, ME AND XOMMA WILL BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO ANSWER (If I take too long to reply is because I'm discussing with Xomma what to answer)

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR DRAWING THE KID, LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR THAT, MWAH

[simp4konig]

EEEEE HELLO HELLO

IT IS I….. A PERSON WHOS A WEE BIT TOO OBSESSED WITH COD AND ITS PPL

anyways I JUST WANTED TO SAY I RLLY LOVE UR KÖNIG WORKS SO FAR WE LOVE OUR BBG

🥺🥺

HE NEEDS MORE LOVE FR AND EVERY1 ELSEE ignoring my crazy nonsense……

anywayss :3 im here to leave a small thought: tooth. ROTTING. FLUFF. we all need domestic könig

OFC U DONT HAVE TO DO THIS BUT WE ALL NEED KONIG BBG IN OUR LIVES anyways bye have a nice day (or night) :3

🥺🥺

YES 🤩🤩!!✨WE LOVE DOMESTIC KÖNIG 🤭🤭

My rqs are ""closed"" (in air quotes bc in all honesty without rqs idk what to write LMAO🤠😔 so PLEASE keep tjem coming, ill get to them eventually!!,🥲they are only closed bc i dont eant to keep delaying the longest-awaited requests even fuether ☹️💔)

thank you qnd i hope YOU have an evem LOVLIER DAY!!! 🥰💖💖

[justtwotired]

hi so i wanted to ask if it would be ok to write myself and publish a fic where the reader is the typical teen and skates and stuff x lloyd,i love your series and ofc im not gonaa copy it but the reader is the same type of kid so i eanted to check and say that i rlly love your fanfics

Hi there! Yes ofc you can! I’d love to read that, I have no problem with you writing a character that is like mine! Thank you so much for the compliment aswel!🩷

[avanzinine]

sorry for yearning on main i literally got a card that said ‘i love you / platonically ofc:33’ roday and i eant to kill myslef since then .

(that was completely unnecessary she literally has a girlfriend that i know of does she think im delusional and i want ger(i do not) ehat the tuck do i come off like thag ‘

[azlovesem]

Nothings unconditionsl mot even lice. If you cane yheyd ein snd yoyd cim like never before. Its not either one of us its everything. The connection. Fuvk new york come here. Union suppoet yhsts ehat its buy. Im loved by my troops more than you ste by uour fucking idiot know nothong fans. Thats all of em snywhere. Oooo poor them theyre so stupid. Anywsy thats the offer on the table. Everyones free to fo as they please me too. We eant a piece of yhe acyion or ill tske a piece of someones head agsin. We re it new york sint dhit ill kill anyone fyom yhat bim yoen. I have many times ovef snd over. Markets mean nothing. Stimulus packages from hated enemies nothong Emma war is this workds future: nobidy atpund chona likes china that voild kvm off any day. My lil froends go after thrm i attsck thrm too. With everythou g. Ahh stupid assholes thets myy assessment of sll of rm. anyone eho tries yo buy their way around us is as dead as yhise googke goofs ofc itsly yeah im hoin after everyonevthis a massive war. Assassination nation thats my nation. The flag is a skull n cross bones. You know who the fuvk i am now. Not to be messed with all your highness. Ill b waiting. Ha ha youre a ding bat come here. You kn ok w nothing let me help you. A week eith ke ill teach more thsn sny school ever did. And no ones tsking iff yheir clothes i font expext ir demand that itll just happen. Hee ha ga hee . Cause im funny anfd yhats a turn on with smart ladies. Well compared to a lamp post youre smart. Compared to me not do much. Lol. Yoyr fans ate mostly idiots. Ha ga ga ahhh. Kiss kiss still.

Unconditional love isn't a free pass to hurt me.

[handjammer]

HaEY JAMMERRESSSS WELCOME TO MY CHANEL TODAU I AM GOING TO SHOW YOU SOME MY MOPINOON ON THE FNAFHS FUNTIMEEEES IF YOU DISAGREE PLSSS PLSPSLSPSPSOSL DONT HATE😢 ENJOYYYYEH :33333

Fede and felix are just ugly and annoying af one is a justin beiber lookingn who i am hoping for a entiiiiire personality and design chang easd and the others only personality trait is being gay who is ALSO ugly ontop of that. and then abby......... i hat eher i want her head on a stick i cant stand her shes annoying i do not eant to see her face a single time in rhe new season unless its mutilated beyond the point of recognition i want to strangle her i cant stand her shes disgustingfede can stay gay ofc and still act 'stereotypical' bc some gay peiole do act like that but it becomes stereotypical WHEN HE DONT GOT ANY OTHER PERSONALITY TRAITand you see howi didnt mention ballora YHAT IS BECAUSE SHE HAS HAD LIKE 3 MINUTES OF SCREENTINE I DONT EVEN KNOW HER NAME don tono is more memorable what did ballora even do she was just there to complete the funtimes but she was HARDLY there I hope loon stops being ugly and annoying too i cant stand him even though there is a low chance of that happening since hes jot a duntime but he fits in with how uglly he is why was loon in z3ro more then golden because trust me i did not want to see his ugly face all those times i hope eddo doesnt throw away goldens character for side charscter comedy relief again bc... I CANT STAND THEM NOT A SINGLE OME OF THEM I HAVE BEEN PRAYING PN THEIR DOWNFALL SINXE IVE FIRST SEEN THEM I HAVE ALWAYS WANYED ABBYS HEAD ON A STICK AND ITS FINALLY HAPPRNING I AM OVERFILLED WIRH JOY i am hoping for a personality AND design change for all of them emphasis on persinality they are the bane of my existence i dont know how i managed to hate a character more then loon but when i first saw those ugly creathres i was disgusted and now it may be finally put to a end. i have a feeling eddo will change them based on the specific time its beinng continued before the funtimes andi couldnt be more happy those things are being put down by their own creator NAW I HIPE YOU ENJOY MU POST JAM ON JAMMERS :3

[mammonswhore]

hi :) can i request if luke was ur twin brother headcannons?

 of course you can,love♥

Brothers react to MC who is Luke's twin.

Warnings: None. MC is Luke' twin and they are his same age ofc.

✒Lucifer

He is teaching you manners so you can teach Luke,obviously as a joke.

Probably he knows that it's hard for you to be away from Luke so he tries to make you feel better with things you might like.

Acts like your dad and will get into little arguments with Simeon about who is a better father figure.

Cannot comprehend hOw did his own Father created you and made you this beautiful.

As much as he hates to addmit it,he might considerate visiting the Celestial Realm just to see you and your yappy brother.

✒Mammon

Why does the chihuahua has a sibling and nobody told him? He has two kids to make fun of.

But he likes them anyways so he goes even softer every single time they snap back at him,he is used to people snapping back at him but they did it in such a respectful yet cute way.

Gives them gifts in “exchange” for favors with the others. And by exchange a I mean that he needs an excuse to give them things so they won´t think he likes them (even tho he loves them to death).

Deeply afraid of the slight chance of MC falling because they love him and his brothers.

✒Levi

Not very happy at first,he was against the idea of the exchange program for an only reason: he does not feel comfoprtable around any being who would make fun of him for just existing.

He overcomes this type of worries when MC seems less of an average angel than what he thought.

However when he gets close to MC he can realize that they truly want to be friends with him despite almost killing them and being very rude to them.

He likes Luke more after hearing the stories MC told him about the things they used to do in the Celestial Realm and how Luke became so dedicated to Michael after some time by his side.

✒Satan

Angry boy likes to tease you non-stop. It doesn´t really matter what the teasing is about,he likes the idea of making an angel mad in hopes to awake his sin inside of them.

He will give them books as a way of showing affection,he is not used to affection so he is kind of clueless dumb  when it comes to show his brotherly love to MC.

Conflicted if they decide to show him their appreciation instead,he is not only having an internal meltdowns but he is feeling the warm feeling of being loved by the purity of an angel.

What do you mean you haven´t done your homework? Fine,you can copy my homework but just now which translates to “anytime you want,dear,I don´t mind you copying me at all.”

Very curious about the Celestial Realm so he will slip many questions here and there.

✒Asmo

Uhhh another beautiful angel. Can I make you a makeover?

He is quite happy to hear you share your stories about the Celestial Realm because he likes to fucking hurt himself. Like he wishes he was there to live  everything you are telling him about but he sadly canno´t.

The one who doesn't will even try to get you into falling for his sin. He cares about you way too much to even think about the possibility.

From time to time he will tell you that you remind him of his own self before,well, everything.

Tries to keep you away from demons that are not his brothers,specially demoms born from Lust because they are the ones who tend to tease the most and he doesn't eant you to get into their tramps.

✒Beel

Asks you about how are things up there. He is not worried about them because the have the protection of his Father but he still wants to know.

He has a lot of questions,mostly about how are his old friends and people he knew back then but if you don't know them it's fine,he is just happy to know as much as you can provide him.

He lives by the "if you are happy I am happy" every single time,if you are having a good time then so he is.

At first he knows Belphie won't like you because of their past but he still has hope.

Being the brother who hates the angels the less,he wants to hear how different it is now your life.

Overall a sweetheart in all senses,he likes to be with you despite what others might say.

Beel is the brother who still has a lot of his angel features the most (emotionally not physically).

✒Belphie

He hates you at first,your kindness just makes him sick.

Until you start to take care of him even if he openly admits to dislike you.

He wants to hate you,he really wants to. But he can't. He can't because he knows he can rely on you even when he is not supposed to, even when he feels he is betraying himself, Belphie just breaks into tears trying so violently to make you understand that he can't allow himself to like you.

"I hate you! Why can't you understand that I hate you and all of your people?!"

But then you just hug him,you lend him your shoulder again and you wait for him to accept the new reality. He used to hate angels but then you and Luke walked into his life to change his view about the race he wanted to annihilate (in 2nd place,of course).

He is adopting you practically because no other besides Beel has been there to tolerate his anger outburst.

[theravencawsatmidnight]

May i request some Kurose x Chozome HC again? I am going to send you an exclusive sketch for some "angst" stuff, feel free to be kreativ, don't eant to give you any directions and i hope you can work with it. UWU Sorry for beeing so inactiv iin the last few months, i hope you are doing fine uwu

OFC niri thats perfectly fine!!! I missed you im glad you doin okay 💕💕💕 im lookin forward to it!

[rowan-is-depressed]

Please submit something simple of you eant ofc

art ask meme: character + emoji

have your followers send in a character + an emoji and then draw them!!

🐾: draw a character with their favorite animal 🏳️‍🌈: draw a character with pride flags for their sexual and/or gender orientation (either cannon or headcannon) 😈: draw a character as a demon 😇: draw a character as an angel ❤️: draw a character pining 🌸: draw a character with flowers that match their personality 🎂: draw a character celebrating their birthday 🌙: draw a character with a celestial theme 👾: draw a character using pixel art 🗯: draw a character in a comic book style 🔲: draw a character in a minimalist style 🎡: draw a character at a fair 💍: draw a character reacting to being proposed to 🌳: draw a character napping under a tree 👯‍♂️: draw a character in a playboy bunny outfit 🎃: draw a character in a halloween costume 👗: draw a character in a sundress 👘: draw a character in a kimono, a hanbok, or any traditional clothing 🎩: draw a character in fancy wear ���: draw a character in swimwear 🕷: draw a character reacting to a spider 🌧: draw a character out in the rain 🌊: draw a character at the ocean 🗡: draw a character as if they were in a rpg/dnd character 🛌: draw two or more characters sleeping next to each other 🃏: draw a character as a tarot card 👑: draw a character as royalty

[thewheezingbubbledragon]

Okay so I'm Aro/Ace right,

(man that feels weird to type out... I'm used to talking about it in my head but like.... Not... Out loud...? It's foriegn and it'll be a while before I'm used to it but that's isn't the point today) so I've never felt physical or romantic attraction to anyone ever (legit thought there was something wrong with me for a couple years bc my siblings had all had crushes and it was low-key torture to realize I hadn't even realized that was an option) but every now and then I'll see some adorable couple or someone will make a comment about 'when you find a boyfriend he's gotta treat you right and here's what you should look for to find him' and I'll be filled with this out-of-body, deeper-than-the-bottom-of-my-heart, peircingly acute understanding, that I will never have that.

Like, I dont want a s/o but a part of me... Does...? If only to know what it's like? But... Ive tried to fall for people (fictional ofc bc they're much less scary of a test to fall for) multiple times. I've forced myself to question if I'm a lesbian or if I'm just bottling up romance or if I'm just absolutely oblivious to my own emotions (wouldn't surprise me tbh I'm on a need-to-know basis with myself and I'm not happy about it) but every road I wander down leads me back to the same place I'm starting to call home.

Every time I get nervous around people my mind starts racing a million miles a minute (partially panic partially hope) and ask 'is this a crush???' and every time I realize 'nope this person just expresses love through physical touch and as someone whose anaphylactic (fatal basically) contact allergy peanuts made me touch-starved I hyperfixate on that person like a starving person at a banquet.' "The king provided me this food??? For free??? ??!?!?!??!?!?!? Welp tbh I'd die for them now." Or "They were nice to me??? Even though I barely know then???? ??!??!?!?!?!?!????!????? Dont screw this up!!!!!!!!?!??!!!"

But still... Every now and then I'll see a couple and I'll get a little sad and wistful. Like:

I'll never wake up nedt to someone like that or know what it feels like to have my heart burst with love as I carry their child.

I'll never be able to say "talk to *whoever I marry* about it but quite frankly hun, I dont like you playing with the playdough by shoving it up your sibling's nose".

I can't flop on the couch after a long day and have my s/o come in and sit beside me and give me forehead kisses or gently rock me back and forth as we both talk about how crappy our temp jobs are / not talk at all and simply listen to the silence.

I'll never know how it feels to cry because my ex broke my heart in the worst way possible.

I'll never be able to offer advice about how to ask someone out.

I'll never be able to bear children (I'm mostly okay with this one: I don't eant my terrible-health genes passed on and that's just the way of life)

I'll never be able to giggle over crushes or whisper about what the new kid looks like in relation to society's standards of 'attractive'.

What is it like to have a crush?

To be smitten by a stranger?

To laugh and love with romantic feelings bubbling in your chest?

Do you really feel lighter than air when you talk to your crush?

Do i... Want to be romantically alone...? (Yes)

What does finding someone incredibly attractive feel like??

I have absolutely no metric for these things and I never will.

And a part of me is sad.

It's the same part that gazes forlornly out the window when I remember I wont go to Hogwarts, or travel to Narnia, or morph into a dragon bc I want to feel good anout myself. It's a fantasy for me but it's so tantalizingly just out of reach...

Dont get me wrong, I much prefer living with my besties in a house together to dramaaaaa of dating (Also now I can be the emotional rock for other people when their s/os are being stupid) but...

I wonder.

I like being me.

I like having what I have and being who I am... But a part of me, the part that longs to go on adventures, wants to know what kind of an adventure being in love romantically might be.

[ilygsd]

ok so the question is if im gonna open nyself up to him and tell him i had like 25262 anxiety attacks these 2 last days or if i should just ignore it and pretend that im super cool and all is fine and what r u talking abt??? i wasnt freaked out at all? i was just chilling all day lmaooo

he will see through me wont he..... but if i dont tell him then maybe he thinks im getting better at u know holding stuff in i mean HE DOESNT CARE ANYWAYS IM OBVIOUSLY DOING IT FOR HIM

i am the list pathetic human being in this world. anyone wants to know for how long ive known this guy? HAHAHAHAHA BITCH IVE GROWN EMOTIOKALLY DEPENDANT ON GUYS I HAVENT EVEN MET that was wilde and i would rather not talk abt that fuck brain stfu sont bring up him

anYwAySs i feel better cus he replied

im just gonna pray i wont get emo and anxious when i get to him

i hate that he thinks everything i do is manipulative. he says he doesnt think i do it on purpose...... does that mean i actually AM manipulative? NO ITS JUST HOW IM FEELING I CANT STAND BEING AVABDONED AND OFC ILL DO ANYTHING I CAN ILL BEG ON MY KNEES OR SET THEM ON FIRE IF I HAVE TO i-is t-that..... m-m-manipulat-tive....

god i cant believe he basically said he cant be with me unless i learn to love myself BUTTT it has to be ”on my conditions” do that means i cant love myself to make him stay it means i’ll have to ACTUALLY try and love myself LMAOOO

and ghat will absolutely not happen and this ugly masternind will see through my lies (hes a bit too paranoid tho like he thinks im lying even when i tell the truth ugh) even if i pretend to love myself i mean i cant have these vreakdowns if i love myself right and i will most certainly have these breakdowns and then i absolutely CAN NOT LET HIM KNOWWW BUT I HAVE ZERO IMPULSE CONTROL SO HE WILL KNOW ABYWAYS

oh god he will leave me anyways

but you know what..... thats cool bc we’re gonna stop dating soon anyways

im obviously too unstable he thinks im too immature

also him and his weird ass goals, he even told me he wants to bleach his teeth bc ”im gonna be a poltician, all piliricsn has white shiny teeth” his teeth are already white?? wth

i hate when he does that it creeps the fuck out of me like when he showed up in a nice suit and im like oooh nice feeling fancy today ;)))) and hes like ”no im just making myself comfortable if im gonna be a serious and respect politicsn/psychologist i have to dress like one”

when he threatened to murder me TWICEEEE but then goes like ”i wouldnt actually murder you, that would ruin my future career” OH THANKS SO MUCH YOU EDGY BITCH

so yeah sooner or later he will dump me. also his expectations of sex...... also he literally dont seem to bond at all wheb having sex its like in and out and then maybe some cuddle if he’ nice

ok in exaggerating sex is actually nice with him at least last time but maybe im just thinkin that visnum attracted to him. its like the other way around for us. i told him LOVE is whats behind my sex. i said ofc sexual attraction too but i could probably find some ugly dude attractive if i LOVED them. not gj my ex though ghats sad bc i certainly do love them.... ugh anyways he was low key offended he was like ”if u think in ugly but just love me i’ll cut you” I WAS IFFENDED LIKE EXCUSE ME YOURE THE ONE WHO SEES OUR RELATIONSHIP AS A FUCKING WHORE CONTRACT and hes likes ”yeah”

and thats where i lost my shit :———)

BUT ITS COOL I NEED TO VE ALONE ABD IBDEPENDANT ANYWAYS JUST DONT GO BACK TO YOUR EX THAT WOULD BE SO SHOTTY OF ME I NEED TO SUFFER ALONE ABD GET THINGS DONE BUT AT THE SAME TIME I ALSO NEED TO PRACTICE ABD HES SO GOOD AT PRACTICING REALTIONSHUPS IWTH BC HE DOEST CARE OR GET HURT LMAO only angry and i guess thats his way of ”getting hurt” ugh

i dont need him. hes still a dumb fkn centrist, making racist jokes right in front of my face sometimes he REALLY MADE AN ADOPTION-NO-ONE-LOVED-YOU JOKE IN FRONT OF MY FUCKING FACE WHEN I OPENED UP AVOUT MY ADOPTION THE VERY ISSUE AND REASON I AM LIKE THIS

i actually cant believe he did ghat, i didnt even realise he did until he apologized and made sure ”it was just a stupid joke” and even then i didnt register it. idk he’s dumb as shit its so fkn weird how much i let him hurt my feelings bc if it was someone else i’d fuxk them in the asshole but im just here letting him fuck me over bc i blame it on is aspd bug actually its just an excuse bc..... bc...... bc..... i dont want him to leave OH FUCK IT REALLY IS LIKE THAT RIGHT I REALLY AL STUCK ON HIM GREAT

whatever you do dont fkn devalue him. omg omg u dont eant it to end like with your ex bff who made u depressed and suicidal and now u will live the rest of your life in INTENSE SHAMEEEE bc of how u treated her and reacted to her leaving you DONT ACT LIKE THAT WHEN HE LEAVES YOU DINT

i probably wont. i wouldnt dare to. i thought i could manipulate my ex bff by scaring and threatening her but i couldnt abd i KNOW i wont ve able to with him. i’ll probably just fall into self-hatered self pity and despair abd maybe secretely stalk his social media but i wouldnt dare to do anything

ugagahIbwlsbslsksvdjsnsksbs my bRaINnNn

[danieyells]

Hfbdysi there's a time and a place for all my yelling and i usually conclude that place to be the tags for safety's sake but i'm glad to be of amusement 8'D

Absurd family dynamics please me and this chart did a good job inspiring one for me haha

Welp.