#if you receive a dm from me. ever. Know it had to go through 3 rough drafts

[stjernec]

Fucking kill me

[jejewonster]

Training Wheels

i love everything you do, when you call fucking dumb for the stupid shit i do ⋅˚ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋆˙

˚₊‧⁺˖ pairing: jeon wonwoo x f! reader ˚₊‧⁺˖ genre: dubcon, smut (MDNI 18+ ONLY) ˚₊‧⁺˖ wc: 3.2k

— wonwoo is sick of your childish crush on him. unforutunately his friends are assholes and forces him in a room alone with you.

˚₊‧⁺˖ smut tags & warnings: mean!wonwoo, obsessive!reader, asshole!wonwoo, corruption kink, DUBCON, creampie, fingering, spanking, multiple postions, innocence kink. seungcheol and mingyu are mentioned, wonwoo finds reader annoying, wonwoo is a huge asshole. ˚₊‧⁺˖ a/n: read my guidlines. don't like don't read. block me if this isn't your cup of tea. thank you @discoverhansol for beta reading ♡.

a sequence of familiar dings of wonwoo’s ringtone silences the middle of his conversation. seungcheol and mingyu send him a knowing look, their smiles cheeky as if they already know who’s blowing up his phone. 

[@/yourusername]  hi wonu!! have a good day at school >.<  lmk if u received the pastry and latte i got u hehe  i had to give it to gyu cuz i couldn’t find u :(((  see u during econ :3 <3  [read at 12:37 p.m. ]

wonwoo frowns at his phone; he doesn’t understand why you keep trying to get close to him or why you even like him, but it’s starting to piss him off. the teasing from both seungcheol and mingyu doesn’t help either. wonwoo is on the brink of insanity and you won’t let go of your stupid crush on him. 

sure, he’s popular, he’s hot, and girls are gonna like him. but for some reason you have a knack for getting under his skin. in his three years of university, no girl has ever been so diligent in pursuing him, not like you. just the ping he gets from his instagram dm’s ticks him off, because no one else sends him more texts in a row, not like you. he hates how you’ve gotten his friends to do your bidding, like the smirk on mingyu’s face when he hands him your meaningless gifts. 

“another text from your girlfriend?” cheol snickers, leaning over the dining hall table to peek at wonwoo’s phone. 

blood rushes through wonwoo’s body with vigour. he’s red with anger, not embarrassment. he hates when dumb and dumber refer to you as his girlfriend. god forbid. 

“fuck off. she wishes she was my girfriend,” wonwoo yanks the phone to his chest, not wanting to have new material to tease him about. 

“whatever you say man, she’s still hot,” mingyu interjects, popping a fry into his mouth. 

“who cares how hot she is, she’s fucking nuts,” wonwoo scoffs, rolling his eyes at mingyu. 

“you’re an idiot. if someone like her was obsessed with me i’d at least hit it once,” mingyu argues. 

wonwoo can’t even fathom the thought of fucking you. not when you’re constantly in his dm’s trying to get his attention. the desperation you display practically reeks off his phone. it repels any thought of finding you attractive from his mind. 

“really? you haven’t thought about once?” cheol asks him, an expression of disbelief painted on his face. 

wonwoo tries to recall a time when he found you normal. at the beginning of the semester, there was a slight chance. slight chance, that he found you cute. but after the one project you two did together, his opinion on you changed drastically. 

you became irritating, texting him randomly throughout the day. he was polite at first, replying with curt responses. but then came the unsolicited gifts. first, it was coffee, his favourite. how you found out his usual, he’s unsure. then came the matching items. overly cute couple's phone cases that went into the trash immediately. then it was the homemade baked goods and food. at first, he tried not to let it get to him, but it became too much. you were so obviously obsessed and no matter what he did, you would find a way to shower with him with unwanted attention. 

the thought of you under him makes him shiver. flushed cheeks, long lashes fluttering under the dim lights, the sounds of your moans. wonwoo takes a sip of his water. what the hell is your problem? 

“no. and i’m not going to. ever.” 

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋆˙

the moment wonwoo walked into seungcheol’s house, his smile dropped. the moment he walked through the door, his eyes found you standing alone, sipping at your drink while the party patrons didn’t bother to even glance your way. of fucking course you’re here. he doesn’t know how you even found out about him attending, but he wasn’t about to let it ruin his night. 

“wonwoo!” mingyu hollers from across the living room. 

the deafening bass of the speaker stabs at his eardrums, but that's not his highest concern at the moment. you are. 

he attempts to ignore how he can feel your eyes flit to him the moment you hear mingyu call his name. your stare is so intense that goosebumps begin to raise on his skin. 

“bro, what the fuck! now she knows i’m here,” wonwoo curses his idiot friend out. 

with his jaw clenched, he can still feel you watching him. it creeped him out, but there's nowhere to hide. stupid rich seungcheol and his stupid open lay out mansion. 

“so? who cares, it’s not like she’s actually gonna–” mingyus words are cut off the moment he looks over wonwoo’s shoulder. 

“hi wonwoo!” your voice is too cheerful for his liking. 

there are so many things running through his mind. whether he should curse you out, completely ignore your existence, or if he should just go home. how is he supposed to enjoy the one weekend where he actually has free time if you keep bothering him? 

“oh, hey! we were just talking about how wonwoo wanted to talk to you. privately,” mingyu brings wonwoo out of his train of thought. 

his eyes widen, a silent attestation to whatever mingyu was planning in that fucked up brain of his. 

“wait, really?” 

wonwoo still had his back turned towards you. from an outsiders point of view he can only presume that anyone could see how he was shaking with anger. what the fuck, kim mingyu? 

“yeah! anyways, you guys have fun. i gotta find cheol,” mingyu’s smile drips with fraudulence. 

if wonwoo was angry then, he’s seething now. mouthing a ‘you’re dead’ to mingyu as he feels your fingers grip onto his bicep, waiting for him to whisk you away like some phony princess. 

before mingyu leaves him, he whispers one last remark, “just fuck her, man. she’ll forget about you once she gets it out of her system.” 

his voice is low but just loud enough for wonwoo to hear. he almost punches mingyu right then and there, but for some reason, something in him decides to just go with the flow of the situation. 

at least he’ll get something out of this, right?

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ⋆˙

the door locks with an audible click. fuck it. if wonwoo was gonna do this, then he might as well make sure no one catches him. 

“what did you want to talk about?” you break the silence, wonwoo almost jumps at the sound of your voice. 

“you like me, right?” wonwoo turns to face you. 

your eyes are doe-like, looking up at him like he’s the answer to all your problems. pathetic. 

as he crosses his arms, he strides towards you until he can feel your breath brush against his chest. the look you give him almost has him wondering if this isn’t as a bad idea as he initially thought. 

“i-i mean yeah. i guess you could say that,” you mutter, avoiding eye contact as wonwoo bores holes into your skin. he can feel the swirl of annoyance begin to manifest within his stomach. 

now you wanted to play coy? as if he can’t sniff the desperation that leaks through your pores. it’s pitiful, if anything, how much of a slut you are for his attention. god, wonwoo can’t stand you sometimes, it makes him want to rip his hair out. 

he supposes that fucking his frustration out of his system may be the one thing that could relieve him of the stress you give him. 

“if you like me, you’ll do anything right?” wonwoo continues to tiptoe his way into getting you to at least suck him off. 

“anything. really, i’ll even pay for our date!” you gush, finally meeting his gaze. 

wonwoo guffaws at your answer. not only are you desperate, but you’re dumb too. it makes sense honestly, no one with an IQ over eighty-five would spend this much time trying to get their crush to like them back. 

“get on your knees then. show me how much you like me,” he commands, and you freeze upon his words. 

a laugh threatens to escape his throat. wonwoo stands there half in disbelief and half in intrigue. he watches as you slowly descend to your knees, your eyes searching for his next command. 

actually, wonwoo could get used to this. you looked like a dog waiting for their owner to give them a reward. 

“like this?” you mumble, the blush on your cheeks apparent even with how dimly lit seungcheol’s guest bedroom is. 

“just like that.” 

you’re shaking like a leaf, and wonwoo is starting to believe that this is going to be a lot more entertaining than he initially thought. who knew you would be so obedient?

“you ever sucked a cock before?” wonwoo asks, not that he cares all that much about your sexual history. 

“mm. n-no,” you whisper, your brows strews together with confusion. 

wonwoo is genuinely surprised. he would’ve at least thought you’ve gotten some sort of action. he can admit you’re attractive, but your delusional state just overshadows your natural beauty. 

“then i’ll be your first,” wonwoo drawls, and he can see the way your eyes flash with panic. 

“w-wait, i thought you wanted to talk?” you quickly get up from your knees, the tears threatening to spill from your eyes. 

“you really think i took you into a room, just the two of us, to talk?” wonwoo bellows out a laugh. 

he didn’t expect you to be so naive, but it only eggs him on further. a sweet little virgin, too innocent for her own good. now that, wonwoo can’t let go. he came into this with reluctance, but fucking virgin pussy is too enticing to pass up. 

“i thought you wanted to tell me you liked me back,” you gulp. 

your footsteps backtrack until you hit a wall. wonwoo crowds you, like a lamb to a slaughter, you stand there with hope depleted from your once glimmering eyes. and wonwoo’s ready to go in for the kill. 

“show me how bad you want me. maybe i’ll change your mind,” wonwoo propositions. 

grasping at your waist, he feels the heat of your exposed skin. your top is dishevelled from the sheer force of his grip. as if his words can compel you to do anything he asks, you smash your lips into him. the kiss is clumsy, and messy, he can only conclude you’ve never done anything like this before.

pulling away, he catches his breath. he despises how strongly his dick twitches in his pants. as much as he doesn’t want to indulge in your fantasies, an opportunity such as this one doesn’t arise often. 

“you poor little thing. you don’t even know how to kiss someone properly,” he breathes out, grabbing your jaw hard enough that your cheeks squish upon his touch. 

“w-wonwoo, can we just talk? this seems wrong,” you beg, but your pleas only arouse him further. 

“i thought you liked me?” 

“i do!” you argue. 

“then kiss me like you mean it.” 

you lean in again, eyebrows furrowed with determination. he can tell you’re actually trying now. to appease him, to give him what he wants, because why wouldn’t you? wonwoo is aware of how much you want him, he should’ve realized sooner that he could use it to his advantage. 

the softness of your lips alongside the dedication behind your actions forces a groan to leave him. he grips your waist tighter, enough to leave bruises along your delicate skin. the whimper you let out has wonwoo straining against his pants. 

pulling you in closer, wonwoo rubs his clothed erection against your torso. the friction causes sparks to erupt under his fingertips. those same fingertips trail on your bare skin, slowly traversing their way up your stomach and under your shirt. 

wonwoo’s large palms cup at your breasts, enjoying the fact he can access your nipples without the barrier of a bra in his way. the moan you let is wonwoo’s worst nightmare. not because it’s unpleasant, but because he hates that your sounds are getting him turned on despite his obvious disdain toward you. 

“wonwoo… i don’t think this is right,” you whine, but your words fall on deaf ears as he keeps you anchored against the wall. 

you can’t escape him even if you tried. 

“if you don’t do what i ask of you, then you can leave,” wonwoo becomes increasingly more irritated the more you protest his advances. 

you wanted this, so he’s gonna give you it. 

“but what about our date?” you pout, lips swollen and bitten. 

there’s conflict behind your eyes, like you knew this wasn’t wanted but better than anything he’s given you the moment you started liking him. 

wonwoo is quick to silence you. he doesn’t want to hear about whatever delusions you’ve conjured up in your head. his dick is hard and he wants to cum. 

a gasp leaves your lips, he can’t have you running your mouth when his cock is starting to pulse so hard that it’s becoming uncomfortable. his hands leave your pebbled nipples to grab onto your thighs. lifting you up, he throws you onto the mattress, and you yelp from surprise. 

“don’t be stupid. all you wanted was for me to notice you. so just take what i give you,” wonwoo grunts, prying your legs open. 

fuck, if you’re not gonna suck him off, then he needs to be inside you now or he’ll cum in his pants. 

the patch of arousal on your panties doesn’t go unnoticed. of course, you’re secretly enjoying this. he should’ve known you were secretly a whore for him. flipping your skirt up, he rips off your panties off in one go. he needs to be inside you in the next second or he’s gonna bust a load in his pants. 

“w-wait, i’m not ready,” you complain again. 

wonwoo’s deciding whether or not to gag you, but for some reason your high pitched objection gets him rock hard. the thought of you begging him to stop gets the blood pumping straight to his shaft. 

your shirt is discarded not long after, and you lie there helpless, panting and clearly in need of attention to your poor untouched hole. 

“i-it hurts wonwoo, help me please,” you whine, a tear slipping from the corner of your eyes. 

“where? show me where and i can give you what you want,” wonwoo’s eyebrows raise with intrigue. 

your fingers move down slowly until they touch right where he’s been fantasizing about the moment he got you to fess up about your innocence. 

“r-right here. please, i don’t know what to do. it just hurts,” you hiccup, grabbing his hand and pushing it towards your dripping heat. 

he smirks at your desperate countenance, the part in your pink lips, wet with his saliva and swollen from the intensity of his kiss. wonwoo had to get his cock into you. now. 

“fuck, you’re dripping like crazy,” wonwoo mutters. 

with your hand clasped in his, the size difference between the two of you is hard to ignore. your fingers are so tiny compared to his, he wonders if you’ve even touched yourself. do your fingers even properly fill your tiny cunt? or do you have to shove a dildo inside yourself in order to feel any sort of satisfaction? wonwoo’s thoughts run as the tips of his fingers come in contact with your searing heat. 

the groan wonwoo lets out is strained. your breath hitches at his touch as he begins to rub your clit. the sounds that escape your lips has  wonwoo panting along with you. while moving toward your neck, he leaves deep red bruises along your soft skin while he slips a finger past your folds. 

your pussy squeezes around his single digit with such force that it causes him to grunt. you’re so fucking tight. 

“holy fuck, you’re secretly a desperate little slut, aren’t you? don’t you feel this, baby? you’re gripping my finger like crazy,” wonwoo mutters against your skin. 

“i-i can’t. wonwoo please it hurts,” you squirm under him, but his free hand keeps you in place. 

his body hovering over yours, he watches as you come undone from a few strokes of his hand. the lips he had on your exposed shoulder return back to yours until your orgasm hits. your breathy gasps fill the room and you clench down, the flood of your arousal coating his hand. 

“gonna fuck this tight little cunt till you’re dripping in my cum,” wonwoo mutters, standing up to rid himself of his clothing. 

the moment his pants hit the floor, his body is on yours. pushing your legs to your chest, he folds you in half. the tip of his cock leaking with precum from not receiving any attention the whole time he’s been playing with you. wonwoo grips his length, rubbing himself against your soaking cunt, you’re so wet that he knows he can slip in without a problem. 

you stare down at his dick in sheer panic, “w-wait, it’s too big.” 

wonwoo doesn’t care. he just needs to cum. 

“you act like you don’t want this. but this pussy of yours is practically crying for my cock,” wonwoo grunts before shoving his length inside you till he bottoms out. 

a half scream, half moan leaves your lips, your eyes rolling back as wonwoo thrusts into you. there’s a slight arch in your back as wonwoo pistons his hips. the heat of your pussy enveloping his length is addictive. 

wonwoo buries himself in your neck, his breath harsh against your skin. the only thing to be heard is the snap of his hips bullying into your hole. 

“it feels so good,” you whimper as you lace your fingers through his hair. 

pulling at the strands, wonwoo indulges in the pain along with the pleasure of your walls massaging his pulsing member. he should’ve thought of doing this a lot sooner. 

“mmph–w-wonoo, i can’t, i-it hurts again,” you cry out, and wonwoo almost releases his load at the sound of your moans. 

but he can’t finish just yet. 

relinquishing you from his hold, he moves back to flip you over. forcing your ass into the air, he enters you once again. the position allowing him to fill your tiny hole to the brim. his balls slap against your clit, and your screams are muffled by the mattress he’s forcing your face into. 

“should’ve fucked you sooner, f-fuck. gonna make this tiny cunt of yours mine and mine only,” wonwoo growls, and he can feel your pussy clench at his words. 

“you like that don’t you? the thought of me fucking this pussy every night?” he chuckles, spanking your ass. 

“i-i love it, please. it feels so good,” your answer stifled by the sheets shoved into your face. 

the bed creaks along with his movements, and his cock is starting to twitch inside you. continuing to leave red hand marks on your skin, he allows himself to still in your cunt, his cum spurting into you and overflowing past your swollen pussy lips. 

pulling you by your hair, he leans forward to whisper in your ear. 

“we’re not done. you’re gonna let me fuck that mouth of yours too.” 

[thesensteawitch]

Goodbye/Final Message From 2024!🎡💌🐝🐞

(A Detailed Reading!)

Pick A Pile Tarot

(Left to Right- Pile 1, Pile 2, Pile 3)

Hello, Senstea Souls!

How have you all been?✨

This is a detailed energy check of 2024 and a final message from this year. As this is a collective reading take what resonates and leave what doesn't. ❤️

Also, if you wish to book a 2025 year ahead reading then you can either book a reading through the form linked below or DM me to get your slot booked.

Booking Form • Rate Card

Here are the YEAR AHEAD READING SPREADS!

Pile 1

Tarot Cards- Page of Wands, The Fool, Knight of Swords, 5 of Cups, 5 of Wands, 2 of Wands

Animal Spirit- Elk, Spider, Beaver

Charms- Sun, Wheel

Hey, my beautiful pile 1! How have you been? It's been so long. Okay, so before beginning to read ask a ‘Yes or No’ question which will be answered further in the reading. 🌜

Now your reading begins!

I heard, “A friend to all is a friend to none. Chase two girls, lose the one.” Diamonds, Spider & Honeybee could be significant. ‘Peter losing Wendy?’ Peter Pan could be significant too. With the sun here, I feel the source of your light; your inner child was taken away from you this year. At least that's what you thought for most of the year, and you have grieved losing someone very dear to you. But 2024 wants you to know that no matter what you have done, this connection was doomed, or this person was meant to leave your life. I do see in your cards that you tried to look at things from a higher perspective to shift the energies so that this connection can be saved.

I hear, “Never be so kind, you forget to be clever.” Someone has really, really hurt you and, more than that, disappointed you. You wanted someone to be a part of your new beginning, but to begin with, they needed to end a stubborn fight too. This connection could only go this far, and now you're left with both happy and sad memories. Along the way you made some mistakes too or wrong judgments, but you were soon pushed toward your destined path. Someone around you or close to you also made some stupid moves and took some immature decisions that may have affected you very deeply. Nevertheless, what sets you apart is your willingness to learn and do right. You were selfless despite having made wrong decisions while the other was selfish. This connection once gave you so much happiness that you never imagined it was going to end one day.

2024 wants you to see the glass as half full; it wants you to remember the ways in which YOU have been blessed by the divine. Remember the good times and let go of the bad because you, darling, you've already cried enough. You've mourned so much that in 2025, the universe has no option but to bless you with the epitome of joy. If you ever sit and find faults in yourself, then 2024 wants you to know that you've done your best. You tried to do right by others but took some time to learn how to do right by yourself. 2024 brought so much protection your way that you have no idea about. If you've seen a lot of feathers this year, then know that was THE SIGN of divine protection from the forces that were working against you. You, my dear, were fighting a spiritual war. That's why you must have felt drained or have gotten sick from time to time. Even while exhausted, you didn't stop working on yourself and on your goals.

The divine is proud of you for making the best use of the resources you had. You've sacrificed so much to make your dreams come true, the results of which you'll see in 2025. I also feel that some people were not kind with their words. I also feel that someone has been trying to manifest you this year. And you know who this person is. Their ego has been too big to take action towards you, and they want you to make a move. But you being in the Empress energy knows their game but won't reach out, haha! This year you were building yourself and your career, but in 2025 you'll receive in abundance for your efforts and dedication pile 1. With the wheel here, I feel that this year you had to either move places or change your plans.

This constant need to realign yourself with your purpose did exhaust you but was trying to teach you an important lesson. That no matter what you do, the universe will never allow you to lose sight of your purpose because you're the chosen one. You don't get to choose now because you've already chosen this path too. This year really appreciates your selfless nature but wanted you to be reminded that takers have no limit, so learn to have strong boundaries. This year made you work relentlessly, not to punish you but because what you're about to grow needs a really strong foundation. Your creation is going to mesmerize the whole world and help the world in ways that even you're not yet aware of. So keep going. Keep listening to that gut feeling of yours! Your brain needed a lot of rest this year. Your emotions, resilience, and passion are what saved you.

Try to eat healthy and more consciously. I feel your eating habits need supervision. I know you had a lot on your plate, but keep going. This year your ego was also shattered, and as weeks passed, you became more humble than before. Life humbled you in ways that I know you're grateful for today. You've cried at night, asking why you are so alone. You tried finding evidence and making sense of what has happened to you or why people treated you the way they did. But as the year has reached its end, you've come to realize that it was a blessing in disguise. You needed to be alone. Rejection was protection. People leaving your life was needed. And now you've reached a state where you enjoy your solitude. You LOVE it. Because you've learned that the peace that you bring into your life isn't everyone's cup of tea. Those who can't fill their own cup can never fill the other person's either. You've come to learn all your lessons with grace. It was tough, but you did it, pile 1!

Here is your answer to the ‘Yes or No’ Question:

The answer is, ‘NO.’ You need to choose a new direction. You KNOW the right thing to do. You know the way, the direction that you need to choose. Trust God; trust yourself. Validate your emotions before anyone else. You deserve it because there's no one that does. So please be kind to yourself. The past will only bring more hurt. Let it go. Whatever you're asking about was a huge obstacle in your way to your growth. Number 555/5555 could be significant. Darling, you have all the 5's. No more chances to the past. Some people don't deserve your kindness. Don't throw yourself in the same shit you just came out of and bloomed out of. Cancer zodiac sign can also be significant. People change; life changes. Change is the only constant. I hear, “I get the feeling that you'll never need me again. What am I now? What am I now?” If you go back to the past, you're only going to be falling again. Show grace to those who are no longer in your life. Thank their soul for taking up the role they did to help you grow and align with your purpose. Tell yourself, “The soul/karmic contract is over!”

Here is your each quarter's message/lesson:

1st Quarter: The first quarter brought travel for you (short or long). After a major ending, the divine and Mother Earth helped you heal. Sun and sunflowers can also be significant. The first quarter taught you where to find light, and you did find it on your own.

2nd Quarter: The second quarter brought some fated events that may have pushed you to restart. This quarter wanted you to learn to cherish what you have and be grateful for even the tiniest of things that we as humans overlook as we become used to them. Your home could have been significant during this time. Some sort of luck also hit you due to your past actions. You were learning to strengthen your boundaries, and staying isolated from the world is another way to reassess those boundaries.

3rd Quarter: Your words became as sharp as a knife. You spoke the truth that you realized in the past two quarters. You were looking forward to justice happening, but before the external justice could happen, you stood up for yourself. You were able to understand your shadows well, and karmas were balanced. Some sort of karmic balance happened due to your words and actions.

4th Quarter: In the last quarter, Divine took complete control, and you were pushed to surrender. I heard, “You take the man out of the city, not the city out of the man.” So many situations tested your faith, and yet you found God. In this last quarter you could experience divine like never before. You learned that it doesn't matter what the world thinks about you; all that matters is what you and God think about you! Your sacrifices and actions are being judged. The old situations may have reappeared as a final test in this quarter. Divine is preparing you to receive your blessings. Just be patient.

Now if you wish to book a reading with me about what's coming for you next year, then my DM is open! I have also linked my booking form, rate card, and yearly reading spread. Do check them out, loves! 🐞🌈

...

Pile 2

Tarot Cards- The Heirophant, Strength, King of Wands, 10 of Swords, The Chariot, Page of Cups

Animal Spirit- Hyena, Fox, Dragonfly

Charms- Hammer, Lion, Fairy, Fleur De Lis

Hello, my beautiful pile 2. How have you been? It's been so long. Okay, so before beginning to read ask a ‘Yes or No’ question which will be answered further in the reading. 🌜

Now your reading begins!

Okay, so it's sooooo weird that consistently, 3 times, I heard ‘struggled.’ Struggled to have faith in divine's plans, struggled to believe in your own strength, and struggled to make a decision (full force!). Some of you even felt betrayed by the divine, and you thought God was an illusion. You knew someone was going to betray you, yet you kept making the wrong choice. And eventually you ended up betraying yourself. Somewhere along the line, darling, you misunderstood the divine. You were in a loop. 2024 wanted to teach you how to fall in love with yourself; to make the right call for YOURSELF! Some of you wished to travel but kept moving to the wrong places, or travel brought some struggles. I do see a lot of exhaustion due to this. The duality in your life wasn't ending, and you wished to choose everyone and everything. You didn't want to disappoint a single creature, but in this process you kept disappointing yourself.

You tried to hide your pain behind jokes or your smile. It felt like the burden of the whole world was on your shoulders. No doubt you're good at taking care of others and providing for others, but you were doing it all without God. The world robbed you of your shine. Do you realize that? Do you even consider filling your cup? And from where do you think you can find in abundance so that your cup never falls short of love? Such an abundance resides in God's abode. I hear, “Tear me to pieces, skin to bone. Hello, welcome home.” I don't know if you've still found your home, but 2024 wanted you to see what home isn't. When you eliminate all that isn't a home, that's when you'll realize what home feels like. You really don't know who is on your side and who isn't.

It seems you were forced to leave something behind. This year wanted you to rediscover your inner child because only your inner child knows what home feels like. Home for you is a feeling, not a destination, because nobody has a final destination. It's a long, long journey, and what matters is the company. Dragonflies, raw juices, and black feathers can be significant. I feel that you were in the wrong company. Their mindset, their energy, only brought lack in your life and kept you away from love. While I'm writing this, the rain has started again. First you cried and wept but didn't process your emotions the right way. But later, as you moved further in your journey, the divine intervened and forced you to see the truth (near/on a full moon night).

I hear, “If you ran away, come back home.” Whatever you didn't choose or were scared to choose was your home. Some nasty energies kept you apart from the true feeling of home, and it did it by pulling you away from the divine. But the truth is no one can ever take you away from God. This year was all about experiencing the difference between belief and faith. A sold idea and an experience of devotion. The divine is saying, “Some mistakes get made; that's alright; that's okay.” Lord isn't cruel. There's a lot of forgiveness in the divine's world if you're willing to keep learning. In the end it will be better for you, pile 2. Yawning, pity parties, and a lazy fairy are some words I just heard. For a long time you forgot to see the beauty in this world. You were sleepwalking through the world, so the divine had to bring a thunderstorm to wake you up. Monsoon season may also be significant.

Your problem is that this year you kept doing what you were good at and didn't dare to go after your dreams. Maybe you never felt enough, or it made you feel better to be a big fish in a small pond? I'm sorry I'm calling you out this way. 😭 But someone has to do it!). We all start small; we all start somewhere, and that's your lesson from this year. But I do feel as this year has approached its end, you are slowly realizing that you're enough and you're capable enough to make your dreams come true and find your dream home/partner. You are that magical being who denied their magic for so long. I want to refer to the ‘History of Witches’, and you're Diana Bishop. But later she found out that her magic was spellbound. The same way your beliefs, people around you, and your heartbreaking experiences diminished your magic. But very soon you're about to find your magic.

The journey has already begun. Look around, love; you have everything to follow your mystical path.

Here is your answer to the ‘Yes or No’ Question:

Whoa! I can't be making this up. The answer is GO; THE TIME IS RIGHT. At the bottom you have LET GO. So let go of what's stopping you from making the right decision. Reconsider the choices you made this year. This time, choose differently. Follow your intuition. You're enough. The cards are cheering you up to forget the past and move forward. Pink butterflies can be significant. The divine timing is when YOU make the right choice, pile 2. I do see in your cards that you're afraid of change, and your past just couldn't seem to let you go. But this time you'll have to be really fierce with your words to quickly leave the past in the bin for good. Break your unhealthy habits, pile 2. You can do it. Genius is about knowing when to stop.

Here is your each quarter's message/lesson:

1st Quarter: In the first quarter, either someone blocked you, or you blocked communication with someone. Again, you couldn't make a move. I also feel you were confused between two people. Again, you had a choice. And you couldn't make a decision despite knowing what choice is the best for you. You may have felt sacrificed between two choices/things/people. Protecting your heart became more important than anything else. This period was all about learning your lessons.

2nd Quarter: You wanted somebody else to make a decision for you or let divine decide on your behalf. You were unwilling to make a decision and spent a lot of time in isolation. This seclusion led to delayed justice. But some sort of justice may still have happened. Just saw a lightning strike. Maybe a tower moment happened in the second quarter. Something scared you, and you didn't know what to do or how to win this fight. Maybe your ego won. Something happened the way you wanted it to, but I don't feel it brought you real happiness.

3rd Quarter: You rushed toward something you thought you would lose. An abundance of something that you wanted to grab before it's too late. And you did get a taste of it. But not the whole of it, because to have the empress, you needed to be in the energy of the emperor. You acted out of insecurity but missed a point or two that were significant for you to manifest the abundance of love/wealth that you deserved being in the emperor energy. Someone may even have approached you being impulsive and insecure. Maybe in this quarter you've cried the most. You run out of patience in this quarter. This quarter wanted you to learn patience and align with the frequency of what you want.

4th Quarter: In this last quarter, though you were pushed by the divine to learn your lessons on home and love, you still struggled with faith. I see delays in reaching your ultimate happiness and the feeling of home. This last quarter felt too challenging, but you're promised a better reality only if you're willing to see it. Only if you're willing to choose better and be less stubborn when it comes to trusting God. You are now very close to finding your beautiful WORLD! Shift your focus from what you've lost to what you're about to get. You've got to let go of the lack mentality and people who will never let you be in the reality you're meant to be in. You're about to find your soul family.

Now if you wish to book a reading with me about what's coming for you next year, then my DM is open! I have also linked my booking form, rate card, and yearly reading spread. Do check them out, loves! 🐞🌈

...

Pile 3

Tarot Cards- The World, Ace of Pentacles, Knight of Pentacles, The Tower, The Chariot, 6 of Swords

Animal Spirit- Hummingbird, Vulture, Fire Ants

Charms- Lion, Crescent Moon, Hamsa, Feather

Hey, my beautiful pile 3. How have you been? It's been so long. Okay, so before beginning to read ask a ‘Yes or No’ question which will be answered further in the reading. 🌜

Now your reading begins!

Okay, so the first thing that I heard was, ‘Be still.’ Maybe a few of you visited a hospital or had a surgery done. You may even have gone to a dentist. Nevertheless, this doesn't have to resonate with everyone. You completed a cycle this year, and you're quite happy about it. And if not happy, then at least you feel at peace. You've had gone through spiritual awakenings, and your growth has been slow but steady. You performed well in 3D while your spirit guides fought for you in higher realms. I hear, “Sometimes you need fire to see through the other side...the stars are on your side!” You aren't mad about the endings. In fact, you're glad that God took away people and beliefs that were only bringing you down.

It feels that you have already fought a tough battle in 2023, so this year you were stronger. You've had your moments of confusion and mental rut, but you knew that you're heading toward a better future. Your faith in the divine is really, really strong. This year you were introduced to peace and divine love. Next year it's going to stay with you every day. This year was tough, but you were tougher. I am so proud of you, pile 3, for making all the right decisions. You have treated your body as a temple. Every time life tried to bring you down, you found your strength from the source.

Your aura has attracted many people. You may have received compliments from strangers. 2024 made you aware that you are capable of building your career from rock bottom (all on your own). You may have had days when finances fell short, but don't you worry, pile 3, because next year is when you're going to receive financial rewards and financial security. This year was preparing you for your comeback in 2025. This year you've learned the value of every single penny earned and spent. You've proved the universe to be worthy of financial abundance. Not because you cracked any abundance code but because you always choose to do the right thing.

You didn't drink poison to quench your thirst. You have been very patient with the results. You may have sung during tough times. The voice of your soul was heard by the universe, and your own voice has healed you and removed blockages from your chakras. A lot of people may have come to you for guidance. You may be a tarot reader, an astrologer, or a therapist. Your aura is so calming and reassuring. People can rely on you. In some way you've been helping in cleaning the mess made by the human race collectively. You may have done things that not everyone dares to do because it takes a lot of courage to do something different. This year taught you to value your solo time and give yourself enough breaks because in the future you're going to have more work with more money. It seems that at times you even have led yourself to burnout.

The divine is proud of you for moving through the discomfort. You've developed self-confidence and strength like never before. 2024 had its all focus on YOU. The inner you. Not your finances but you! Because if you're solid, every aspect of your life will be solid. And this is exactly what may happen next. I hear, “I am on fire like a thousand suns; I couldn't put it out even if I wanted to.” It seems that you had no choice but to walk through this spiritual fire. It overwhelmed you, changed your plans, and even made you feel stuck, but it has done its job, which was to transform you and detach you. You may have dealt with younger souls or immature energy. 2024 wants you to know that you handled the conversations well, which your old self wouldn't have been able to.

I also feel that this pile has worked through their anger as well. You would have lashed out if you were you from another year, but you didn't as you worked on your anger issues. It seems that finding God did the justice. Finding peace did the justice. And one day the anger issues just vanished. For some of you, the anger may even be your soul crying for help. Anger could have been for all the injustice that happened to you throughout your life. But as soon as you found the divine, it all calmed down. I also see that one day you just chose to leave your bed and do something different rather than crying or reminiscing about past heartbreaks. You found your joy. You asked yourself what made you happy, and you did it. You made sure that at least you do not betray yourself. And now it seems that you're at peace with yourself. You've practiced self-love religiously. The walls of your boundaries reach the heavens, and anyone who wants to get close to you needs to get closer to God.

Some of you have even healed your anxiety issues and have overcome mental struggles. I hear, “I had to learn the hard way; I would've known you always.” It seems that you accepted that some meetings in your life were fated, that if you wouldn't have met some people, you wouldn't have learned your lessons and wouldn't have transformed into who you are today. You've had lighthearted days and then days when you had to fight a battle and then when your intuition was telling you things you weren't supposed to know (but you were) and then all the 366 days when you were divinely protected by heavens and realms below the earth.

Here is your answer to the ‘Yes or No’ Question:

Your answer is, ‘You're going in the right direction.’ At the bottom of the deck you have ‘Get More Information.’ It seems that divine is encouraging you to keep following the direction you've been moving toward. You're definitely on the right path. So if your question was about someone's intentions, then I think you're right about them being sneaky or taking advantage of your kindness. They have hurt you and never valued your generosity. This person's actions did a mental toll on you, and all the information you've received that feels exaggerated is true. Your intuition has been telling you something. This person can be an Earth sign. 555 and 999 can be significant. I even confirmed with the cards that this person was a liar and kept you moving in circles and never gave you any clarity. Their moon can be in an Earth sign. You can be a fire sign. This person kept you in the dark, unaware that you're such a psychic that you're going to see it in your dreams.

Here is your each quarter's message/lesson:

1st Quarter: Your first quarter was all about fighting for your rights and defending yourself. Some of you may have been going through a financial crunch during this time, but you used your money wisely. Your guides are proud of you for doing the right thing even when the whole world was against you or couldn't understand you. There is something about you and your faith in God. You were learning to make bold decisions in the first quarter.

2nd Quarter—During this phase you started off being very optimistic about increasing your resources, but then you had to face another mental challenge (regarding a person, it seems) that kept you awake at night. You were learning your lessons about this individual. I see two individuals here. So for some of you, you were dealing with two people who made it difficult for you to have mental peace. During this phase, you learned resilience and had hope that you'd again see a brighter day.

3rd Quarter- In the third quarter I'm picking up multiple energies. Either you manifested something or someone manifested a conversation with you. Some sort of conversation happened between you and someone. But I feel there were many people/third parties involved. The foundation of what started was weak. But yes, some clarity came through, and you became clearer about what you want out of love and life in general. You only worked hard to find yourself at the starting point with someone. Yoga or some sort of exercise may have helped you in having a clear mind.

4th Quarter: Okay, I keep hearing, ‘I was wrong.’ I feel someone has regrets treating you the way they did. In the last quarter you have experienced some sort of emotional pain, but with the divine's support, you held yourself together pretty well. You were able to keep yourself calm. It was because of all the work you've done on yourself throughout this year that it got easier for you to navigate through challenges. You quickly shifted your focus toward what you have rather than what you lost. In this quarter you became a master fighter. The old situations could not overpower you. You learned to remain stoic and full of grace. That's so beautiful! You've become an inspiration for those who've hurt you. Someone even stalks you. Your garden is growing; that's your justice! They know you're doing better; that's your justice! There's a lot yet to be revealed. So remain patient. Divine justice is in your favor. It's time you open your heart to receiving justice, love, and support.

Now if you wish to book a reading with me about what's coming for you next year, then my DM is open! I have also linked my booking form, rate card, and yearly reading spread. Do check them out, loves! 🐞🌈

[gingiesworld]

Hello, My Love

Wanda Maximoff x GN! Reader

Warnings: Angst. Fluff.

Word Count: 5.5k

AN: This is the second part to Goodbye, My Love. I hope you guys enjoyed this and please let me know what you thought of it. <3

Taglist : @natashamaximoff-69 @canvascoloredin @wizardofstories @louxbloom @wandanats-goodgirl @the-ox-fan20 @ladyqueenxoxo @aemilia19 @wandaromamoff69 @mfd-101 @dorabledewdroop @marvelogic @dopeyouth @karsonromanoff @bimad @alexawynters @natleft (if you want to be added to my taglist, please DM me or comment)

18+ MINORS DNI

Five years ago, the riot that had occurred within the prison was broadcasted over every news station. Reports of multiple inmates and Prison Guards were dead, there were more reported injuries. Wanda called Pepper, hoping to hear that she would never get the bad news, which she never did receive the bad news.

Five years, she carried on writing to them, telling them everything that had happened during her week, even telling them about the sucky dates that Nat kept setting her on. She even told them about her last interaction with Jarvis, that was only a few months ago.

“Wanda?” He smirked as they bumped into each other, Wanda tensed up at the sound of his voice. “How is Y/N? I’ve been meaning to visit them, congratulate them on making it to the NFL.” But then he chuckled. “But they never had the chance did they? Because they took the fall for you.”

“Please leave me alone.” Wanda whispered as he just laughed.

“Not so brave without a gun are we.” He sneered as she looked away from him. “It should be you in their place, you should be the one serving time for almost killing me.” Wanda just shook her head and walked away from him, the sound of his laugh remained in her mind for weeks after that.

But what she didn’t know was Y/N was now getting out on good behavior. They walked through the gates, seeing Nat leaning against her car, a smile on her face as she saw her oldest friend.

“Hey.” They gave her a small smile as she opened her arms for them.

“Hi.” She embraced them tightly, afraid to let go with the fear that they might disappear. “Let’s get you home.” They walked to the passenger side and got in, watching the roads as they passed by.

“How’s everyone been?” They asked her.

“Well, Morgan is now a troublesome teen. She missed you so much, the same as your mom.” She told them. “Oddly enough, your dad has tried to help get your release finalised sooner.” She noticed their shocked expression. “I know, I almost died too.”

“What about Wanda?” They asked her as she nodded, a tight lipped smile on her face. “She’s been sending me letters ever since I stopped her or anyone visiting me.”

“I know.” Nat told them. “She told me, she also told me you never replied to any of them.”

“I have written her letters.” Y/N told her. “I have them all here, but I just couldn’t send them to her.”

“Why?” Nat questioned as they looked out of the window.

“I wanted her to be able to move on, even if it meant that I was the one to let her go.” They admitted. “She knows how much I love her and I wanted her to live her life without ever thinking of me again.”

“It didn’t work though.” Nat started as Y/N nodded with a light chuckle.

“It didn’t, she told me about all of the dates you set her up on.” They spoke as they watched the road ahead. “She told me how she couldn’t bring herself to do anything more than one date with any of them.”

“Because she is in love with you.” Nat told them. “She just realised it too late, and you were too much of a coward to tell her.”

“I know.” They nodded. “I just couldn’t deal with losing her if she never felt the same way.”

“I know.” She nodded as they soon reached New York. Their heart started to beat rapidly as they realised that they don’t look the same as they did a decade ago, they have scars and look worn out compared to how they used to look.

“What if no one likes me now?” Y/N questioned as Nat chuckled.

“Believe me, everyone has missed you so much Y/N.” She told them. “Well, except Jarvis.”

“Please tell me he has finally moved away.” They groaned as Nat shook her head no.

“I’m afraid not.” She told them as she pulled into the Stark Mansion driveway.

“Fuck.” They muttered as they looked up at the place they called their home. “It looks even more intimidating now.”

“Yeah.” Nat laughed as she got out, followed by Y/N as they grabbed their bags, following Nat up the stairs to the door.

“Nat?” Pepper questioned as she answered the door.

“Mom?” Y/N smiled as they looked over Nat’s shoulder.

“Y/N?” She gasped as Nat moved to the side, taking Y/N’s bags and heading inside. “You’re home?”

“I’m home.” They told her, a smile on their face as she cupped their face, getting a proper look at them.

“You look rugged.” She told them.

“Yeah, I need to cut my hair.” They admitted as she shook her head

“I think you suit it.” She told them. “Come on, Morgan will be excited to see you.” She led them inside, listening as Morgan and Yelena were talking about their homework. “Morgan, look who’s here.” She told her as she let go of Y/N’s hand, Morgan’s eyes instantly landing on theirs.

“Y/N?” She squealed as she jumped up into their arms, Y/N chuckled as they caught her.

“Oh god.” Y/N hugged her close before letting her go. “You’ve grown so much.”

“Well, it has been 10 years now.” She reminded them as their heart broke a little.

“I missed you little one.” They told her softly as she hugged them tighter than before.

“Promise you won’t leave me again.” She whispered shakily.

“I’m not going anywhere.” They told her honestly. “I promise.”

“Come eat.” Pepper told them as Morgan led them into the dining room, Morgan catching Y/N up on everything they missed.

“You should have seen dad’s face when he found out that I wanted to be a writer.” Morgan told them with a smirk. “I thought he was going to pop a vein or something.”

“Well, he wasn’t happy that you were straying away from the family business.” Pepper stated.

“Just like he wasn’t happy with me when I strayed away from his dreams.” Y/N remarked as Pepper sighed, both Morgan and Nat remained silent. “Where is dad and Jarvis? I would have thought they could have been here, you know it has been 10 years after all.”

“Y/N, you know why your father isn’t here, same with Jarvis.” Pepper warned them.

“Yeah, they’re not happy because Wanda returned the ring when he was in the coma.” Morgan smirked as Nat and Y/N chuckled lightly.

“Your father and brother were devastated!” Pepper raised her voice. “Wanda would have been a fine addition to this family.”

“No.” Y/N shook their head. “She was too good for him.” Pepper went to interrupt but Y/N stopped her. “You know it too mom, Jarvis isn’t a nice guy, he never has been.”

“Y/N, he has changed.” She tried as Y/N snorted.

“And hell has frozen over.” Y/N remarked as Pepper shook her head in disapproval.

“Are you going to tell Wanda your back?” Nat questioned as Y/N tensed up.

“I don’t know.” They answered. “I have her letters there in my bag, but I don’t think she will want to see me.”

“She will.” Morgan told them. “She has been coming around to see how you are, if there has been any news.”

“She hasn’t moved on.” Nat told them. “I’ve tried to get her to go on dates and meet someone, just so she has someone and she doesn’t get past the first date.”

Y/N listened to them as they informed them of how Wanda has spent the last decade, how she has kept hope that she would see Y/N again, be with Y/N and have a future with them.

“Can you take me to Wanda’s?” Y/N asked Nat who only nodded with a smile.

“Let’s go then.” She told them, they kissed both Morgan and Pepper on the head before grabbing the bag with the letters for Wanda, and following Nat out to her car.

“How do you think she’ll react?” They asked her nervously.

“Well, I don’t really know.” Nat answered them. “She was furious that you did what you did for her. There was a brief moment she hated you but we all know she can’t hate you.” She sighed as she pulled up outside of Wanda’s building. “To be honest, she may be mad, she may be happy. It could go either way really.”

“That helps Natalia, really.” They spoke sarcastically as the two got out of the car. They followed her up the stairs to Wanda’s floor, wanting to take as much time as they could before seeing the woman they had failed to forget during their time in prison.

“Nat, what are you doing here?” Wanda asked as she answered the door to her, Y/N leaned on the wall as they heard her voice for the first time in years. Their heart beating rapidly in their chest as their nerves had gotten worse.

“Someone wanted to see you.” Nat told her. “They haven’t really stopped thinking about you or asking about you all day and it is kind of annoying.”

“You should have come later. I have company.” She told her with a raised brow.

“Is it Stu?” She asked with a raised brow.

“Yeah, he is just in the shower.” Y/N dropped the bag of letters on the floor as Nat noticed their expression falter before they started towards the exit.

“Well, I will want to hear all about it, but these are for you.” Nat handed her the bag of letters before she hurried after Y/N, she reached them as they leaned against the car waiting for her.

“You told me she wasn’t seeing anyone.” They told her sadly as Nat sighed.

“I thought she wasn’t, I set them up a couple of weeks ago and I never thought she would actually see him again because she never does.” Nat told them as they stepped away from the car.

“I’m going to walk home.” They told her as they stepped away. “I need to be alone right now.”

“Y/N, you’ve just got out, let’s celebrate.” Nat tried as they shook their head.

“Maybe it would have been better if I never survived the riot five years ago.” They told her.

“No.” She scolded them. “You do not get to say that! We have been friends forever and I hated the last decade! I hated it because my friend wasn’t here with me.” She took their hand. “Let’s go and see Steve and Bucky, there is a lot you have missed.” She led them to the car before starting their journey.

“What are those?” Stu asked as Wanda emptied the bag of letters on the table, organising them by date.

“Letters from Y/N.” She whispered as he picked one up.

“Why didn’t they ever send them?” He asked as she shrugged, standing up and getting herself a glass of wine.

“I don’t know.” She answered him, her eyes burning with years of unshed tears and emotions. “I think you should leave.” She told him as he laughed.

“Come on, Wanda, you can’t be serious.” He asked her. “We have been going out for a few weeks now, I asked you to be mine last night before we fucked.”

“Wow, real classy Stu.” She spat at him before she took a deep breath. “Maybe we need to take a step back.”

“No! That’s absurd!” He yelled as Wanda shook her head.

“No, what’s absurd is me thinking I could ever love someone else the way I love them.” She told him. “Please just leave and lose my number.” She told him as she held the door open for him, watching as he grabbed his things before approaching her.

“You’re going to regret this.” He told her as he stood before her.

“The only thing I regret is even giving us a chance.” She told him before slamming the door in his face, taking a deep breath as she locked the door and made her way back over to the letters.

She noticed from the first one, they had written to her since she had sent in her first letter to them. A small smile played on her lips at the idea of Y/N even having some hope for them.

Dear Wanda,

I know that this isn’t exactly a peak milestone in our friendship, but I think it should count. I got your letter and I am sorry that this happened to us. I just couldn’t picture you in here suffering for something that might have saved your life.

You’re my best friend, my biggest supporter, the ying to my yang.

Love Y/N/N

She smiled as she read their small letter, remembering how they could barely stand writing and always opted to call instead. But as she read the letters, she smiled at how much longer they had gotten.

Dear Wanda,

I know you probably hate me by now, I pushed you away when you needed me, but truthfully, you never really did need me. Seeing how you’ve written about your life this past couple of years has really made me proud. I am proud of the woman you have become Wanda and whoever is lucky enough to call you theirs should know it.

I know in another lifetime, maybe it did work out for us, maybe we would have worked out right now if I had the balls to tell you how I felt before college. Before you even thought of being with my brother. We could have had everything, maybe if I am lucky enough and you’re still single when I get out of here, we can have everything. I know that’s a pipe dream that’s never going to happen.

Love Y/N/N

Dear Wanda,

It’s been five years, and these five years have been the loneliest I have ever been. Yeah, I have a cellmate, Brock, he is a dick but he has my back. We have to look out for each other here or we could end up dead, believe me, there are some people here who hate my dad and they do tend to take it out on me because of my name and relationship with him, but it’s nothing I can’t handle.

There hasn’t been a day where I don’t think about you, Wanda. Everyday I wake up and wonder what you might be doing today, are you happy and healthy? Have you found that person that makes you smile as soon as you open your eyes? But on some selfish level, I wish that you are as alone as me, I wish that maybe you’re waiting for me to get out of here, but that is all just wonders.

Love Y/N/N

Wanda couldn’t bring herself to read the next letter, given there is a two month pause in between them. Not wanting to read the extent of the injuries they suffered during that riot, the nightmares that occured after or the horror they witnessed.

“It’s so good to have you back!” Bucky cheered as he pulled Y/N into a tight embrace.

“Have you been to see Wanda? I’m sure she will be so thrilled.” Steve started as he pulled them into his embrace.

“We did.” Y/N told them with a small smile. “She had company.”

“She never saw Y/N, they just dropped the letters they wrote to her and left.” Nat told the couple.

“Was it Stu?” Steve questioned as Nat nodded.

“I don’t like him.” Bucky blurted out, making everyone laugh. “What? He is a pompous dick.”

“I can agree with that.” Nat nodded as Y/N looked out of the window.

“Y/N, I have something to show you.” Steve said as he led Y/N away from the other two, closing the door to his office before turning to them. “Talk to me.”

“About what?” They asked him.

“About how you feel.” He spoke softly. “I’ll be here to listen, a shoulder to lean on because I can see that you’re trying your hardest to put on a brave face.”

“I am anxious.” They started as they picked up a picture of Steve and Bucky on their wedding day, a smile on their face as they admired the picture. “I have spent the last decade a nervous wreck, barely a few hours of sleep each night, the threats that I received because of the amount of people who knew who I really was, thinking that The Great Tony Stark will pay out millions to ensure his child’s safety.” Steve just listened as they rambled on. “And tonight, I don’t know how I’m going to deal with the nightmares. The last five years have been ok because I have been in a cell on my own, but I am home and I don’t want anyone to see me like that.”

“I don’t know how bad your nightmares are, but you have a lot of support here, your sister, mom and you have all of us. All we want is to help you through this because you have suffered a great deal while you have been inside.” He told them. “You won’t be alone ok.” He pulled them in for another hug before they pulled away quickly.

“I missed your wedding!!” They yelled as Steve nodded with a laugh. “I can’t believe I missed everything!!”

“It’s ok.” He smiled at them before resting his hand on the door handle. “Talk to Wanda, you never know what will happen tomorrow. You of all people should know that.”

Wanda stood at the step of the Stark Residence, knocking frantically, after reading the letter they wrote after the riot, she wanted to know why no one told her of their injuries.

“Wanda?” Morgan questioned as Wanda gave her a smile.

“Hi, is your mom here?” She asked the teen politely.

“Yeah, come in.” She let the now brunette inside, leading her to the living room where Pepper sat reading the paper.

“Wanda, what are you doing here?” Pepper questioned. “I would have thought you would be out with everyone celebrating.”

“Why would I be celebrating?” She questioned as Pepper raised a brow.

“Y/N’s home.” Was all she said before the door opened again, Wanda turned in time to see Y/N enter the living room. Her eyes stung with tears waiting to be shed as Y/N’s eyes widened, their heart beating rapidly in their chest as Pepper cleared her throat. “I think you two should talk.” She got up and grabbed Morgan’s wrist. “We are going out for dinner.” With that, Wanda was left in the house alone with Y/N.

“Hello, my love.” They gave her a nervous smile. “Do you want a drink?” They asked her as she just shook her head, her eyes never leaving their form. “Well, I need one.” She followed them into the kitchen, watching as they grabbed the whiskey and poured themselves a glass.

“You look different.” Wanda told them as they chuckled.

“Well, it has been 10 years.” They chuckled as they turned to face her.

“Don’t do that.” She told them firmly. “Don’t make it seem like this is all on me. I wanted to wait for you, fight for you, for us, because you were the one who pushed me away.”

“Because I wanted you to live your life Wanda! You deserve to find your happiness and not be constantly haunted by the thought of us!” They yelled as she chuckled dryly.

“Is that why you never sent me any of those letters? You just kept them in a bag thinking I would never read them.” She spat as she stepped closer to them.

“I wanted you to move forward Wanda. I wanted you to live your life and not wait on me.” They told her softly.

“I was willing to wait for you because I loved you!” She poked their chest. “I really loved you.” With that she left the house, leaving a sad Y/N behind.

“She just left?” Morgan asked as she sat beside Y/N on the sofa.

“Yep.” They nodded as Morgan chuckled lightly.

“I would have thought she would have jumped your bones after not seeing you for years.” She told them as they nudged her arm.

“Hey! Don’t talk like that.” They scolded her as she gave them a serious look.

“I’m not 6 anymore Y/N.” She told them. “I’m 16 now, but you wouldn’t know that, I haven’t had a happy birthday off of you in 10 years.” With that she stormed up to her room as Pepper walked in.

“Just give her time.” She told them. “She missed you so much when you were arrested, she cried every night for you.”

“I’m sorry mom.” They whispered as they looked at Pepper who only smiled.

“You have nothing to apologise for.” She told them. “I know the truth of what really happened. Nat told me, and then Wanda did.” Y/N sat and listened to her as she spoke. “I know what your brother is capable of, I know what he did to Wanda too and why she did it.” She turned to face them as she spoke. “I also understand why you did what you did, although I was furious with you, because you threw away your career for someone.”

“It wasn’t just someone.” Y/N remarked as Pepper smiled at them.

“I know that, I remembered seeing how you looked at her, how much you hated every guy she ever dated, how they were never good enough for her.” She told them. “I know you more than anyone, but you need to get your feelings in order because that girl has waited for you for 10 years.”

“She’s with someone.” Y/N told her sadly. “She told Nat and the guys.”

“Fight for her.” She told them. “Don’t give up on the one thing that gave you hope!” She pulled them up to their feet. “Go, now!” She handed them their keys, a smile appearing on their face. “I kept it looked after all these years, I may have neglected my own car just to keep yours running.”

“Thank you mom.” They whispered as they hugged her, soon racing their way to Wanda’s apartment, remembering the address and the number. Racing up the stairs, soon standing outside her door. Knocking frantically and waiting impatiently for her to answer it.

“What are you doing here?” She asked them as they gave her a small smile.

“The way we left it the other day, it shouldn’t have been left like that.” They rambled as she fought the smile that wanted to appear. “We both should be happy to see each other, not argue over something so small.”

“Would you like to come inside?” Wanda asked them. “I have a fresh pot of coffee on.”

“I would like that.” They smiled as she stepped aside, allowing them inside. They followed her through to her kitchen, admiring the decor and the pictures she had on the wall. “I got your letters.” They told her. “They uh got me through a lot of tough times.”

“Why didn’t you ever send your letters?” She asked them as they sighed, thanking her for the cup.

“I thought that maybe you would forget about me. Move on with your life without me.” They told her honestly. “I guess, I just thought that maybe you would be married to a great guy with a family of your own.”

“I couldn’t.” Wanda whispered as she looked in their eyes. “I tried to move on, I did but my heart belonged to you.” She exhaled sharply before continuing. “It still does.”

“Wanda.” They whispered as they soon pulled her in for a tight hug, Wanda sighed as she felt their strong arms around her middle. The two remained in this position for a long moment, neither wanting it to end just yet.

“Sit with me.” Wanda said as she soon dragged them to sit on the sofa, her head leaning on her hand as she gazed at them. “You have some scars.” She lightly touched their face as she looked into their eyes.

“Well, the riot wasn’t the only violence I had experienced.” They told her honestly. “I had a few run-ins with some of the inmates, and they weren’t exactly nice.”

“I think you look hot.” She whispered as they soon removed her hand from her.

“You’re in a relationship.” They told her, watching as she shook her head no.

“I ended it last week, the day Nat gave me your letters.” She told them honestly. “I knew there was no sense in moving on because I should be with you, Y/N.”

“You can’t say that and expect me not to kiss you.” They told her barely above a whisper, caressing her face as she smiled at them.

“What if I want you to kiss me?” She replied, biting her lip as she felt their hot breath fanning over her face. Y/N wasted no time in pressing their lips onto hers, kissing her roughly before she straddled their lap, soon spending the night exploring each other’s bodies.

Y/N listened as there was constant yells and banging from outside the cell, sharing a look with Brock who got his own homemade shiv from under his pillow. Watching as he disappeared onto the walkway, yelling profanities as he swung his weapon around.

Y/N listened to the pained yellings of injured inmates, the triumphant shouts of others as they stepped out of their cell, looking over the railings to see the guards also fighting for their lives. It wasn’t until they looked to their left, seeing someone charge at them, sending them over the edge and onto the lower level. Groaning as they turned over just in time to stop another stabbing them.

“Y/N!” They heard Brock call out to them, struggling against two fellow inmates. “Y/N!”

“Y/N.” They soon jolted awake and fell out of the bed, a worried Wanda looked over the edge. “Are you ok?” She asked them as they got up, climbing back in the bed and nodding.

“Yeah, it was just a nightmare.” They told her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asked them as she rested her head on their chest.

“I’m fine.” They told her. “Let’s get some sleep.”

“Is it about the riot?” She asked them as they took a deep breath. “I saw your other scars, I just want you to know that you can talk to me.” She told them softly. “I am not going anywhere.”

“It’s just, there was someone who I could have saved.” They told her. “My cellmate, Brock, he always had my back. Always stuck by me, even though he had every possibility to kill me to get in good with others who wanted me dead.” Wanda watched as they spoke, her fingers tracing mindless patterns on their skin. “He died, trying to help me. I wasn’t supposed to survive that riot, I was supposed to bleed out beside him but the guards, they shut it down.” Wanda took their hand in hers. “I was lucky, this scar here.” They pointed to the scar on their chest. “This was my end.”

“I’m so sorry.” Wanda whispered as they shook their head. “It should have been me who went to prison, not you.”

“I would make the same choice every time.” They told her softly. “I would do anything for you Wanda. I always will.” She cupped their cheek as she moved to sit up, the moonlight cascading over her naked form as she looked deep into their eyes. Noses brushing together as she leaned in to kiss them lovingly, the bodies pressed together as Y/N wrapped their arms around her, making her feel safe and complete for the first time in her life. Only they know what their future holds for the two.

Five Years Later

Y/N was looking around for their belt and work boots frantically, nervous about this job as it is a big job for them.

“Wanda! Have you seen my?” Their words were lost in their throat as they saw a four year old Tommy waddling around in their boots and their belt hanging from his waist. “What do we have here little fella.” They smiled as they picked the toddling child up into their arms.

“I’m so sorry, I tried to keep him away from your things.” Wanda ran in frantically as Y/N only smiled at her.

“It’s ok.” They smiled as they kissed the side of Tommy’s head. “I am my own boss after all.” They pressed a tender kiss to her lips.

“I made your lunch.” She told them as she packed their bag with sandwiches and a flask of coffee as they finished getting themselves ready.

“Thank you.” They smiled as they finally stood up, ready for work. “My mom said she will have the twins tonight and maybe we can have a little date night.”

“I already promised Nat I would go out.” Wanda spoke seriously as Y/N’s smile faltered. “I can cancel if you want me to.”

“No, you should go and let your hair down.” They told her softly. “At least don’t drink too much and call me when you want to be picked up.”

“I will.” She kissed them once more before Billy came running into their arms, hugging them tightly before the three of them waved Y/N off as they drove their truck to the site, meeting Bucky already there and ready for work.

“So how is the wife and kids?” Bucky asked them with a smile.

“They are great, although Tommy seems to have taken a liking to my boots.” They told him honestly as they finished their last job for the day. “My mom is having the twins tonight and Wanda is going out with Nat.”

“So, you have the house to yourself.” He smirked as Y/N chuckled.

“I guess I can do some of the jobs that need doing and I haven’t gotten around to.” They shrugged as Bucky nodded.

“Or you can just sit back and relax.” He told them. “You’re not in prison now Y/N, besides, you served your sentence.”

“Not really though.” They shrugged as Bucky shook his head, the two standing up getting ready to leave. “I only finished half of my sentence.”

“But you got out.” Bucky told them. “You’re free to live your life, watch your family grow. Don’t dwell on the past.”

“I’m not.” They defended as Bucky followed them to the truck.

“You are.” He told them seriously. “Look, I don’t know half of what happened inside but I do know that you have the life you have always dreamed of with Wanda and the twins. Yeah, you may not have your dream job but that’s ok. You just have to make the most of the life you have now.”

Y/N took in his words before the two went their separate ways, he was right because they have always dreamed of living this life together with Wanda. Having a family with her and they have it all.

“I thought you were going out?” Y/N asked as they saw Wanda coming out from the kitchen, a dish of their favorite meal in her hands.

“I can go out with Nat anytime, but I want to spend the night with you.” She told them. “I cooked your favorite.” She told them as they smiled at her.

“Thank you.” They told her as they approached her, their hands wrapping around her waist. “For waiting for me and making me the happiest person alive.”

“I love you Y/N.” She told them sincerely as she looked in their eyes. “I will always love you until my dying days, and even in the afterlife, I will love you.” They captured her lips in a gentle kiss before she pushed them away, a teasing smirk on her face. “Go and shower, I’ll keep the dinner warm.”

“I love you Wanda Maximoff.” They told her. “You have always been the light of my life.” She blushed as they ascended the stairs to their shared bedroom, the walls were lined with pictures, from the memories they had made together, some from before they left for college, and more from when they had come back into her life. The moments they had shared together which made their hearts glow as one, even brighter the moment they brought the twins into the world, making their family complete.

[ukiyowi]

Mini PAC III

Notes: Please check out the Masterlist for more! Reblogging and paid readings help a lot! Pls DM me if you want one!

Messages from your higher self (repost)

Pile 1

"Whenever you make a decision, you know how it will end don't you? You have all the conclusions already laid out about every situation you've ever been in, has that ever helped? Things come to an end but would you want things to go another way? I hope not, because otherwise you wouldn't be who you are today"

Pile 1, I feel like you're regretting something, the end of a chapter maybe one that was very important, maybe you're going to college next year or you're starting a new job, or maybe you're moving houses, either way your higher self-assures you that whatever you do, don't move forward with regret in your heart.

For some of you there may have been a romantic relationship that ended and the weight of that break-up is still heavy on your mind, manifesting itself physically, draining your energy, exhausting you. Your higher self is telling you to cherish the times andmemories you had with that person, people change and so do circumstances but thosememories won't.

Pile 2

"Playing the devil's advocate won't get you, his throne. You need to be more mindful of what you say. Have you been getting frequent headaches lately? Clear your surroundings and meditate it should help, also please drink water. You shine so bright then why do you fear the dark? It won't harm you if you accept it."

Have you been feeling simultaneously distressed yet exceedingly happy lately pile 2? It happens, your higher self is telling you that you're being pulled in two directions so choose the one that makes you exceedingly happy and unsuccess will follow. You already have everything you need, you *are* everything you need.

All the good things that you dream about and run after are right there all you need to do is open your eyes and look. Your higher self is encouraging you to be more comfortable in your own company, you don't need people around you constantly to validate you, you don't lneed external validation.

Pile 3

"The world isn't yours to hold nor is it yours to heal. Start asking for more and you shall receive it, especially when it comes to clarity. You can't be everyone's number 1 and that's okay, everyone has their own match, just because you're not first doesn't make you any less valuable as a person, don't let it affect your self-worth. Pretending to love someone won't make you love them, fake it till you make it doesn't apply here."

Oof pile 3 so many messages coming through here. I also got a song for you, "Beautiful Feeling" by Day6. I'm getting a lot of love messages for this pile, your higher self similarly to pile 2 encourages you to focus more on yourself, whilst focusing on platonic relationships around you. Nothing will ever satisfy you if you look through a lens of despair at everything. Even if 3 of your cups have fallen, you still have two left. Your higher self is telling you to completely feel your feelings, negative ones too but not to wallow because that won't have a positive impact.

Don't try to copy other people because everyone's unique, you're your own person and people appreciate and adore you for that. Your higher self also gives a message regarding blue butterflies and how if or when you see them, you should remember that they are right by your side. October may be an important month for you as well.

[towriteloveontheirarms]

Smoking looks good on you (modern!Criston Cole x Reader)

synopsis: Seeing Criston smoke invokes a rather new feeling for him inside of you.

warnings: Criston smoking a cigarette, age gap (reader is in her early twenties), smut, hand job, oral sex (m receiving),afab reader

word count: 1.3k

taglist: @hopelesswritergall @urmomsgirlfriend1 @deadonyouraccount @samthegreenapologist

(If you want to be tagged for any specific character/series/fandom or in general on my fanfic or moodboards let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

A/N: This is low key inspired by this post and my opinion that Fabien looks a little bit too hot when he smokes. I hope you enjoy <3

Dividers by @saradika

You had tried to start the car an ungodly number of times to still be trying. Your blood boiling and face scrunched up in concentration. Eventually even you have to admit that there is no sense in trying any more often. Bringing your hands down onto the steering wheel at the realisation, which accidentally sets off the horn. The sudden sound makes you squeak, jumping up in your seat. With a begrudging sigh, you make your way back to the large house. Luckily Helaena is the one to open the door, offering you a sympathetic look as you tell her what's up. Then she quickly types something into her phone before turning back to you.

“Criston can bring you home. Just meet him in the garage.” She informs you.

“What about the car? I can't just leave it here.” You try to protest. Not that she would ever allow it.

“Don't worry I'll take care of it and bring it back to you.” In moments like these her soft spokenness had an awful lot of her mother.

“You're the best, Hel. Thank you so much.” You hug the blonde once more and then make your way through the house to the garage.

You open the door and run into a sight that has your breath catch in your lungs.

Criston Cole is sat in a car with the window down, a cigarette hanging loosely from his lips, jaw slack and eyes heavy lidded. One of his hands lays on his thighs, to make it look like he is strokes at the tent in his lap. While the other arm is rested on the open window.

For a moment, you think about if you should just go to knock at the door and act like your brain wasn´t running wild with thoughts, but even before your brain can think of a second option of action, a sigh falls from his lips. The sound causes your knees to grow weak and your mouth to water. You stumble a few steps closer towards him until you can see the drops of sweat running down the tan temples from the warm weather outside. Your eyes are fixed on every little detail of his face. The sheen of sweat that covered his skin made it glow ethereally. The way his eyes flicker under the lids from whatever thought it is that has him not paying attention to his surroundings. The way his lips form around a thick cloud of smoke as he takes a deep drag of the cigarette.

It's all too much to take without being affected by it, the excitement thrumming through your veins.

Still distracted by the overall situation, you barely realize one of your hands reaches out to grab the car door. The consequences of opening it evading your mind, as you pull on the handle.

Instantly his head whips around, eyes wide in surprise, cigarette almost falling from his mouth. You yourself are surprised to actually see a tent between his legs at the sight of your light summer dress when your eyes wander down instinctively.

“You know… Seeing you smoke like that is kinda hot.” You purr, trailing your hand up his thigh, closer to his lap.

“What are you doing?” Criston´s voice quivers.

“I thought you could maybe use a helping hand. Or mouth.” You coo in response.

The man´s breath shudders at your suggestive words and the mental image they painted. A fast, wordless nod is your sign to get into the car’s passenger side.

You waste no time on getting his pants off. Barely opening the zipper and button to free his arousal and wrap your hand around it. Spreading the beads of pre cum to make it glide over the pulsing length more easily. Relishing in the heaviness of his shaft in your hand as you start to stroke it languidly. The rhythmic pace has a hiss escape from between Criston´s lips, disrupting the panting breaths that fill the heavy atmosphere of the car. Instinctively his hips buck up into your touch. Breathless curses are accompanied by thin clouds of smoke. As the pleasure heightens, the blood rushing faster through his system, Criston arches his back against the seat. One hand plucking the cigarette from between his lips to flick off the ash, while the other finds the back of your neck. Short nails scape against the nape of it, the sensitive flesh breaking out in goosebumps, sending a cold shiver down your spine. He doesn´t push you down but the contact is enough to make you lean forward, licking a broad stripe up his cock. A warm, salty taste spreads on your tongue immediately, the sound of a gasp and a no longer supressed moan filling your ears along with it.

“Fuck your mouth feels amazing.” He pants when you finally take him into your mouth.

You swirl your tongue around the cockhead, hollowing out your cheeks to suck him in once more.

Criston´s fingers tighten around the nape of your neck, pulling a moan from you in turn. The sound makes his dark eyes glaze over with the fog of arousal that equally cloaks his brain in thoughtless lust. Your wrist takes on a twisting motion as it supports your lips in taking on the part of him that doesn´t fit comfortably between your lips. The surge of gratification that runs through his body, has you fighting your gag reflex as Criston´s hips snap upwards. Burying his length inside of your throat until you feel the soft fabric of his pants against the tip of your nose. You try to take deep breaths and fight the feeling of your throat constricting around the hardness. Drool runs down your chin as you struggle to accommodate, only minimally soothed by Criston´s praise and the hand from your neck wandering down to rub over your back.

Slowly he pulls back out of your throat, feeling the moan that you let out vibrate through his length. In response his head falls back against the headrest, the half-smoked cigarette falling from between his fingers to the garage floor.

Pulling off his cock with a wet pop for a moment, you try to calm your breathing, yet never stopping the movement of your hand. Gliding over the wet skin easily. At the same time Criston reaches to wipe at your chin. His already shuddering breathing breath grows more laboured. The whimpers and groans growing more frequent and higher in pitch as the desperation coils the knot of pleasure in his stomach tighter.

“You sound so sweet, when you are so desperate.” You croak teasingly.

“Oh gods, I´m gonna…” He stammers.

You manage to close your lips around the pulsing length just in time for the warm, salty taste fills your mouth once more in the form of his cum shooting down your throat as the tension finally snaps.

After the drawn-out groan, the silence feels almost deafening. Only broken up by your shared gasps for air.

The drive home is equally silent. Uncertainty is weighing down the atmosphere in the vehicle. Neither of you knows what to say to break it.

“Uh, thanks for driving me.” You mumble once you reach your destination.

Criston responds with a nod and a tight-lipped smile.

Hesitatingly, you unbuckle your seatbelt, turning back to him before reaching for the door.

“So, um, if you want I´d be up for doing that again.” You admit quietly, trying to get rid of some of the awkwardness and uncertainty.

In his eyes you look so sweet in that moment he almost feels guilty for his next words, but he can´t help but be excited at the thought of defiling you in a way. Despite this having been your idea. He knows it is wrong, but in the moment, it had felt so right.

“I would be up for that.” He replies hoarsely.

With the tension lifted ever so slightly you make your way to the door of your apartment. Your stomach fluttering as you watch Criston drive away.

[emosingles]

hello fellow girls, gays, and formless blobs <3

if you or anyone you know is going to any of the remaining tit shows and have access to preshow but are stumped when it comes to coming up with any questions- here is a list of questions i’ve made!

30 Questions for dip n pip!

1. What are your favorite 1D songs?

2. What’s the last concert you attended?

3. If you could only watch one show for the rest of your lives, TOGETHER, what would it be?

4. Create drag names for one another.

5. What’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve done trying to grab the attention of someone you fancy?

6. how do you think your style has evolved over time and who are your style inspos / icons?

7. What was the last “normal” job y’all had before the YouTubes?

8. What TV series did you recently watch together?

9. Are y’all aware of phannie Fridays?

10. Describe your first impression of each other in one word

11. What’s your favorite memory of touring from tatinof?

12. What’s the most unexpected dm you’ve ever received from a famous person?

13. Phil, will you ever do a Dan-esque one man show?

14. Do an impression of each other

15. Please explain the story behind “can Phil express an opinion” at that one panel because I felt the rage beam off the screen and still don’t know the context.

16. Phil, is it true that you won the Guinness world record for fastest coin stacking? Please explain how this even happened

17. DAN, we have heard Phil’s first impression of you (posh and annoying blah blah blah) but what was YOUR first impression of Phil when you two first met?

18. Have y’all been asked to be interviewed on hot ones? Dan would probably take it like a champ, Phil on the other hand- my prayers are with you babe.

19. If you could bonk any fictional character, who would it be?

20. What made y’all think to wear those ICONIC red and green uni sweatshirts for the photo cards- simply just for vibes or nostalgia?

21. three legged DDR challenge pt2 when?

22. Invisible string theory? more like y’all are being bound by shock collars and steel chains through every universe.

23. Please stop running off the stage I’m scared one of you is going to get hurt. Please. Omg. Stop. I. Beg.

24. Will y’all post a gaming vids blooper reel at the end of the year (for good old times sake) :3

25. who came up with the idea to do the april fools tasteful nude… just curious lol.

26. What kind of case do you have for the iphad? Or is it just free balling in the wind caseless?

27. How in the hell did Dan not realize the PVC jumpsuit was from an adult only website??

28. Who pitched the idea of the “no but seriously imagine it” sketch ?

29. when are dab and evan going to have a child? they were meant to be girl dads (also we just need some more estrogen thrown into the sims series pls lol)

30. what is a piece of merch that you’ve really wanted to do but haven’t had the opportunity to make yet?

i saw them back in austin and went overboard with creating questions and just didn’t want any of these to go to waste so pls use them and let me know if they ended up being answered!!

(i submitted one question during my show which was: who is the most sentimental, and they answered it! apparently dan doesn’t give a shit and will throw away everything but phil likes to hold onto things and savor the sweet mems)

[zzencat]

Paid Readings Info!! - zzencat

-> Last updated: October, 2024 PST

Confidential + Personal + Raw + Clarification + Advice + Some readings may include potential 18+ material

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Teddy Opening: Hey guys!! So this is everything you need to know for personal paid readings. Why pay? You will help in supporting me in my daily life and I hope to support you in yours with guidance, reflection, advice, help with your introspection, and whatever else 😎👍

*** About Language: English is the primary language I’ll be using. This includes some English slang, abbreviations, or curse words. If you need clarification on anything or help understanding what I mean, PLEASE DON’T EVER HESITATE TO ASK 😎👍 Ask and I’ll be happy to help you understand in any way that I can. No, you’re not a burden or a bother. You can count on me. No judgment whatsoever. (If you struggle with English and you’re worried about how your English, it’s 999999% fine with me. I’ve had many clients whose first language was not English. We’ll work it out, I promise. My parents don’t speak English as their first language either, so I grew up learning how to communicate to where you can understand.)

• My readings are sent through email or Tumblr DM, and are in the form of PDFs from Google Docs (unless the answers in the readings are shorter than a page or 2; then I’ll send the answers directly through dm or email.)

• Regular paid readings take 1-7 days maximum to complete upon payment. For Packages, please allow up to 7-8 days max. I will be transparent with you about how much time and how much I’ve finished for any reading.

1) First and foremost, you HAVE to be a follower of my blog and you have to have seen my readings before.

Why? Because I need you to be familiar with how I do my readings—which include of bullet points, hella commentary and extra notes from the Teddy + spirit team pov (which can be funny, helpful, or both), some slang, cursing, and letting my spirit team ramble. A lot of the info is blunt and very no bullshit. (Bear w/ me; I got the Queen of Swords on my spirit team lmfao 😂) My readings could get a bit long, thorough, and maybe overly detailed, varying from the info I receive. My body serves as a host for my Spirit guides, and connecting with Spirits :)

Make sure you read through my Quick Starters Post (it’s pretty short n simple). Keep in mind that tarot readings are a tool for clarity, and not an all seeing eye. Everything is susceptible to change. Time is fluid, and nothing is fixed. The readings are based on your energy now.

***When to request? You can request at any time. (I’m in the PST timezone so if I don’t respond to you, that’s because I’m sleeping or doing summer hw. I always respond within 24 hours tho!)

Where + How?: You can dm me on Tumblr or email me ( teddiebearrr69@gmail.com), and state the reading number that you’d like. Your reading will be received within 7 days (unless some issue comes up, then I’ll let you know. If it’s late, no later than an extra day.) and I’ll send you the PayPal link where the money will go through. You will choose 3 photos out of a pile of 9 (that I have chosen for you.) The decks I frequently use: Everyday Witch (primary), Tarot of Sexual Magic, RWS (circular edition)! Oracle cards will be pulled if I need more info, advice, or further clarification.

***ALSO IMPORTANT, if you’d like me to do readings for you, please leave your door OR window open at any point of our session (for at least a couple of hours.) You may close when you’ve received your reading. This helps me connect with your Spirit team better :)

Readings I do are belowowowow👇

————————————————————

• • • • • Readings (for now) • • • • •

Reading #1 (and also my most requested reading):

(*For Singles*) Future Spouse (with optional brief 18+ section) | $8 USD

Note: This is different from final spouse bc I can’t say whether you will or won’t face divorce/separation 😅). However, I can give you a vibe of where it’s headed. (Prepare yourself!!)

HEAVY DISCLAIMER: We will take a look into your past and your future lover’s past to see if there should be any trauma to be worked on. This means we will potentially cross very private and vulnerable information on both yours and your lover’s side.

↳ We will cover:

• their current energy now—if you met now vs when you meet later.

• positive and negative aspects of this person/relationship, and how this can develop (pos or neg.) over time (with examples. Like I said, these readings will be similar to the ones I have posted but a lot more in depth and personalized.)

• rockiness and toxicity within the relationship; what to expect while dating; how you both can help improve the relationship; a look into their past selves (relationship, hardships, IF THEY ALLOW THIS INFO TO BE TOLD, but I will try to reason with them.)

• things they need to work on before and after meeting you + what you can do to prepare for this person coming in

• how will you recognize them + how they will recognize you

• their possible occupations at the moment and later — basically where they’re at in life ( + emotionally)

• overall advice for both you + future spouse

🔓 $2.44 USD to unlock: a brief, general overview of sexual relationship + potential kinks. there will be a small deal of vulgar language and graphic descriptions. BUT the 18+ section here is not as detailed as #2.

***PLEASE KEEP IN MIND !!!!! that I will give you “warnings” here and there, and will be transparent if their inner child or spirit guides do not want me discussing some issues/does not want me going in depth.

This is how you’ll get an idea or hint on what they might be secretive about, and personally, this isn’t a good sign, especially if they’re likely to hide mistakes. I would advise you pay attention to these *cryptic* areas, because those are where the bigger problems are at. Yes, some are insecure about it, but that just means they have some work to do. The more open they are about their past, the better. It shows maturity and a desire for growth, and that they won’t hide if they’ve messed up somewhere. That’s a good sign to me.

———————/////—————/////——————

Reading #2:

(18+) What does your sexual relationship say about your overall relationship? - Next Partner/Final Spouse | $7 USD

↳ We will uncover:

• Your person’s 18+ thoughts/fantasies from your first meeting/impression to developing friendship to newly dating stage.

• What will lead to your first time with them, feelings + emotions on their side, what will happen during the act?

• Their feelings/overall sex life mood when you’re both comfortable with each other (including yours!) Stagnancy? Contentment? Needs more spice? Sexual conflicts?

• Their kinks!!! Graphic imagery and descriptions, but not at a smut novel level haha (maybe tho…depends on the cards and context)

• Fears and how to improve the relationship, where it could go wrong

• Honestly this reading could get suuuper thorough real quick- hopefully your partner gives me permission to pry heheh 🙂‍↕️

———————/////—————/////——————

Reading #3:

(18+) What Your Sexual Energy Says About Your Past + How To Achieve Peace in Your Life | $7.44 USD

↳ We will uncover:

Intrusive-ish reading to an extent. It shouldn’t be too bad (I hope...) But there’s no need to be embarrassed! (I used to write smut lmfao)

This is where I will do a regular card reading for you to see where you are, mainly relying on my Sexual Magic deck (which is cleansed before each reading.)

• your desires/hidden fantasies (now + possibly future) and potentially why you have them

This reading lets us know where you are in your life, what blockages or concerns your subconscious is facing and how this affects your daily life and even future.

Note: I personally like doing sexual readings and they come out very accurately since my sacral chakra and sensuality is so essential to me as…well, me hahaha. My highest good keeps me in high sexual energy, which is probably why I connect to the Tarot of Sexual Magic deck so well :)

———————/////—————/////——————

Reading #4:

“I’m Still Feeling Stuck. Where Did This Come From? What can I do about it?” (95% Trauma based.) | $6 USD

↳ We will uncover:

If you‘ve seen my reading on stagnancy or reading on little things to uplift your life, this will be pretty the same BUT more in depth and in accordance to your energy. It’ll be personalized to you 🤗

advice!!

I think the messages do need to be taken seriously so if you learn a bit about yourself in this reading, I’d be seriously happy.

———————/////—————/////——————

Reading #5:

Wtf happened in my past life? What did I do to deserve this? Can I still turn things around? / Past Life Reading | $7 USD

↳ We will uncover:

One of my favorite concepts ever. We all wonder where we went wrong to go through such hurt in this life. Wtf exactly happened? You and I will unlock what and who you possible were, your occupation(s), family life/relationships, conflicts, romantic relationship(s), potential betrayals, life lessons your soul carried from that life to this one. This can also be read as just a past life reading!!

Approx. 10-12 questions asked about past life during reading

What can you learn from? What can you let go and move on?

Or perhaps…this is your first life? What lessons do you need to learn in this life?

———————/////—————/////——————

Reading #6:

A question and some advice (can get pretty deep depending on the person.) | $3 USD/per question. You can ask any question of your choice (read “no questions about” for more info), as many questions as you’d like, but each question is $3 USD., relating to a specific situation or different things.

❌ No questions about: if you and [celebrity] will date 😂😂, altho you can ask about what your compatibility would be! Singular future spouse, warning, or what to look forward to, 18+ questions in your current/future relationship are welcome. No death-related or specific physical + mental illness/disease questions please.

Feel free to reach out for further questions or details, or if you’re confusion as to what you can or can’t ask! And please don’t feel embarrassed (I’ve seen it all fam ✋🥲)

One of my readers,🫀(on feedback), has become a regular and a friend of mine!! She’s asked if it was okay to do an anime character relationship compatibility between her and said character with her personal list of prompts/questions!! Pricing varies based on how many questions there are. | $3 USD / question

———————/////—————/////——————

Reading #7:

Warnings in the near future based on your current energy? (within 3 months to a year from now) - $4.44 USD

↳ We will uncover:

• advice, how to see it when it comes, what to look forward to, what’s likely to happen?

+ $3.22 USD to unlock: Your prediction sounding kinda rough? How can I likely prevent it? Can I change it or do I need to go through this?

———————/////—————/////——————

Reading #8

“Okay, be honest. Does this person like me? Do I stand a chance with them? Are they the right person for me?” - $8 USD

↳ We will uncover:

• applies to situationships, potential partners, the person on your mind, secret admirers, unrequited love

• get ready for honesty right here babyyyy (if you buy this reading, ya gotta brace yourself. I’m telling you here and now and when you dm me as well!!)

• things they need to work on before they’re ready for commitment

• How will I know if they’re the one?

• red and green flags about your person

• personalized advice to you

+2 USD to unlock: How do they see me in general?

———————/////—————/////——————

Reading #9

(Single or Currently Seeing Romantically) Future Spouse’s Past Life!! - $7 USD

• Refer back to reading #5 about your past life!! Everything there is applied here but about your future spouse this time!

—————/////—————/////—————/////————

-> Introducing Packages! :

1) Cat-Sees-All Package - $26

↳ We will uncover:

• reading #1 - future spouse reading (optional brief 18+ section)

• reading #5 + #9 - past life reading on yourself

• overall advice

Disclaimer: these can get heavy realllllly quickly. My future spouse ones are usually extensive and deep anyway (especially since we look into more subconscious and past issues/trauma so I suggest you grab some popcorn. Maybe some tissues too if you need.

———————/////

2) LENZ Package - $24 (minors dni)

↳ We will uncover:

• dark, sensitive, mature and potentially triggering material

• this is pretty much a combination of readings #3 + #4, but we tap into your future spouse’s/lover’s sexual energy/preferences/lifestyle as well yours through kinks!!

• figuring out significant events in yours and their childhood and if trauma has played a role on your daily life and theirs; AND both yours + their individual feelings/energy/view towards and of sex (including deep rooted trauma)

• how sex preferences heal their inner child + how your sex preferences heal yours

• how do they seek this in daily, normal behavior and communication with others + how do you seek it? how does this seep into your daily lives?

• overall advice

🔓 + 2 USD to unlock: Will you be able to heal your wounds together through sex? What is it about you that attracts your partner, personality and sex-wise?

Disclaimer: this is also a really deep reading that includes psychological factors and sensitive topics, so if you’re an empath or are sensitive to this material in general, you might wanna take a couple breathers and come back. It can get pretty dark and negative as well, so I recommend that you don’t get to your reading until the end of the day or when you’re certain nothing can ruin your day.

——————///

3) Custom Package!!

• here, you’ll be able to create you own list of questions (within the boundaries ofc- rmr, nothing about death, illness, politics, etc.) | $3 per question

this is catered towards those who have very specific questions they want answered, anything they’re curious about that hasn’t been answered in the “we will uncover” section of the readings! This allows for modifications or adjustments to be made in order to create the best list of questions well suited for you 😎👍

Ex) 5 questions = $15 USD

7 q’s = $21 USD, etc., etc….

—————————————-

-more coming soon…brr brrr

**Constructive feedback is heavily encouraged so pls lemme know how it was for you, how it resonated, however many paragraphs you’d like. I’m happy to talk about it w you!! No judgment here.

- Teddy :)

[defences-down]

I was talking a couple of nights back to @savebylou about trying to find a way to talk about what I wrote this year, sorta like a year in review because it would be fun to reflect. She sent me a post from @haztobegood and I thought I'd give it a go answering the questions.

1. Number of stories posted to AO3: 19

2. Word count posted for the year: 79,814

3. Fandoms I wrote for: One Direction, Red, White & Royal Blue

4. Pairings: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Isaac Anderson/Michael Blackwell, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik/Liam Payne, Niall Horan/Zayn Malik, Louis Tomlinson/Zayn Malik, Oli Wright/Niall Horan, Liam Payne/Zayn Malik, Liam Payne & Louis Tomlinson, Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor

5. Story with the most:

Kudos: Pumpkin, you’re gonna kill me

Bookmarks: Pumpkin

Comments: Pumpkin

6. Work I’m most proud of (and why): I’m gonna pick three. 

Every Star has such a special place in my heart forever and I loved exploring their friendship. Cried writing it, cry thinking about it now.

It Takes An Ocean Not To Break came out very quickly and was healing to write.

Summer Skin, Pressed On Mine was the first Ziall fic I posted and I had such a blast working through that idea. I couldn’t get the idea to fit within the plot of the larger fic I’ve been working on all year so I made it a stand-alone and it was so fun. 

7. Work I’m least proud of (and why): None of them. There are parts of some that could be done better but I’m trying to work on being less of a perfectionist.

8. Share or describe a favorite review you received: Every time I wake up to my friends screaming about fics in comments or dms I can’t stop smiling. Their enthusiasm is infectious.

9. A time when writing was really, really hard: Can I say most of this year? Cause it’s true, trying to write funny fluffy romance when you’re getting divorced/working through all of that hurts real bad. It wasn’t all bad it got rough.

10. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you: The scene with Isaac and Niall walking home in Pumpkin pretty much came to me fully formed. But I also had a lot of surprises working through Ziam’s relationship in that fic.

11. A favorite excerpt of your writing: 

He’s never told the true story of how the first tune had come about. It wasn’t as fictional as he said, but it wasn’t one kind stranger. It was everyone who’d seen he mattered and held his hand over the years. The fans who waved pride flags with wide grins on their faces. The ones on the streets and in lines who told him that they’d been brave because of him. His spouse, who’d seen the way he’d become a shell after every heartbreak he encountered called Gemma and Lottie to ask for help finding a therapist because he trusted them. His mum, who had encouraged the dream he had even on the worst days. They all became the woman in his song. He’d never say it, he couldn’t, he could barely play it some nights. Watching them from his perch in front of the drums he’s sure some of them understand what he’s saying. Maybe after a few days hidden away somewhere with Harry, he’ll ask them to look on her burner account to see what people are saying. He knows he shouldn’t, but he wants to know they know what he meant. He’s doing better than he ever was, and he’s better because they’re all with him. He loves a beautiful human, and they love him back. He’s proud of who he is and he hopes anyone in a similar situation can look at him and know it will all be alright. Freedom is where you make it.

From feel the freedom

12. How did you grow as a writer this year: I’d like to think I’ve gotten better at letting myself be seen more. I explored more and ended up finally writing in a fandom that I’ve been reading in for years.  And I'm so proud of all the things I made this year.

13. How do you hope to grow next year: I’d love to keep writing at this level and hopefully publish something every month but we’ll see how that goes.

14. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc): @thechavier. More than half of these stories exist because she wanted to read them. Same with @whatifai, pumpkin exists because of her love of Harry and lime bikes. And of course, a thank you to the lads for providing endless material to use as a jumping off point.

15. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year: There was a scene I cut from Pumpkin that I put up later in Let All My Defences Down where Niall was talking to his Mum about growing up in the church that was pulled from my life. Henry using writing as a coping mechanism, especially on planes. Henry’s golden notebook. There’s probably more but those are the ones I can think of right now.

16. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers: Find the people who are willing to let you tease things out with them no matter how little sense it makes at the moment.

17. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:  I’m so excited to finally release my biggest project to date in January. I’m really proud of How It Found Us (previews and bonus content here) and I can’t wait until it’s in y’all's hands. There’s also a secret project that I’m really excited about but it has no deadline yet.

18. Tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@voulezloux @thechavier @silverkiiwii

[nosenipped]

respond to the following prompts out of character, then tag others you'd like to get to know a little bit better.

roleplayer name: lucien!

pronouns: deez / nuts. ( he / they. )

muse name(s): jackson overland frost. :3 his name is so fucking english i literally can't type this without giggling. he's got a korean name too, but im not revealing it because of plot.

preferred communication: discord or DMs. i'm still getting used to the mechanics on tumblr rn so. 😭😭 but there r some features in tumblr's DMs that kinda tick me off, so discord's the home place for communications for me. i run a shit ton of accounts on different platforms too, so if i don't reply it's bc im out of energy or im busy with work. 💔

experience: started in pokémon. got traumatized. went to animerp. also got traumatized. the cycle repeats for about 6 years.

preferred roleplay type: dependent on the day! i've always preferred writing something fluffy as opposed to angsty, ( but the lines are very thin for this muse ) only because jack's already a VERY angsty character and as a whole and i feel if i kept writing angst i'd run out of material quickly.

pet peeves / dealbreakers: forced shipping &&. self—inserts that seem too inserted, eg. forcing themselves onto my muses. ( i realize it's essentially the same thing but trust there's a difference. ) i've only ever shipped muses after messages of development and if i see potential. it's also a matter of personal comfort.

i've had past experiences where people took it too far with their muses and got personally affected by their relationship which is INSANELY unhealthy.

another one is just ship jealousy? i've personally NEVER experienced it as the receiver before, i hope i never do anyway, but we're all friends and grown—ups here im sure we could just write without any hidden agendas. i've had people close to me suffer from this before and it's incredibly sad &&. pathetic, y'all don't do that pls.

best time to write: evening or like. really early in the morning LMAOOO. i'm a night owl most of the times so if im not getting to anything in the morning or afternoon, it's mostly all churned out at night. ( but ofc that doesn't mean i'm not active during the morning or afternoon. )

are you like your muse?: to a large extent, definitely. i wouldn't go as far as to call us twins tho? even if some people do, there's just some things that we see differently.

for starters, unlike this loser, i can swim. /silly i got medals to back my claim.

i'm definitely not as dense to love as this dude is, and i'm able to differentiate platonic and romantic ties. this SUCKS so bad knowing he's also a womanizer in the last books .. i need his ass GONE.

in terms of similarities, i truly see him as something of a vessel to articulate my grief and anger as well as nostalgia through my boyo. :3 and since i've practically rewritten his ass to incorporate book and movie and mythology lore ( it gave me a MIGRAINE during my work i swear ;; the amt of effort i place into him needs to go widespread to my course. ) parts of me are also within to fill the plot holes. <3

i offer my jack frost to write with you all with my heart and soul on the line, so it really means a whole lot to me whenever people love him.

i got tagged by @lcafman ! WAAAHHH ELLIE ILYSM /p ONE OF MY POOKIES AND A GENUINELY GREAT PERSON TO GET TO KNOW. <33

＊ tagging ... @nerdynanny ， @toothcollct ， @saheira ， @fatedarrows ， @chieftain-of-berk ， @pcterpan ， @wishfulmuses ♡ feel free to participate if you'd like!! ( ^ω^ )

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

fic writer interview!

totally stealing this from @definitelynotshouting because it looks really fun and I haven't had a chance to yap about my own work in a while!

---<0>---

How many works do you have on AO3?

32! used to be more but I totally deleted some of my old Umbrella Academy fics, sadly - could be around 35 or 36 if I hadn't.

What's your total AO3 word count?

334,360... uh, most of that is from two specific fics haha.

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

You Say You Feel Hollow (and you know it's 'cause you are) (HC/Life Series | 775)

INCOMING MESSAGE - COMM RECORDS (HC | 725)

“Man is condemned to be free” (DreamSMP | 547)

I Still Feel Alive (when it's hopeless, I start to notice) (Lunch Club | 488)

Let's Call It An Arrangement (HC | 460)

if you remember my lunch club fics no you don't. also kinda surprised to see the range of fics here - some of my older stuff and then some of my newest too!

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes! the only time I maybe won't is when it's a second or third comment in a thread and I have nothing else to say. even a '<3' comment will get a response. I don't get many comments, so I take the time to respond to them all. also, I share details about the writing process and lore of fics if people ask. so 🔫😐 comment to get secret knowledge. (in the same vein, I always respond to asks here about my fics!)

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

oh, man... I don't tend to leave fics on completely horrific endings in any case, but I would say probably my boatem pirate fic, It's All Part of Being a Pirate (HC). definitely the fic with the least ambiguously horrible fate for just everyone involved.

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

uh... it depends on your idea of 'happy', honestly. Trembling Jaws Can't Stop Stuttering (HC) is a gore/cannibalism convexian fic that doubles as polyamory negotiations. a lot of people say they feel quite comforted by it despite the violence, especially because of the hopeful ending, so I suppose that qualifies as happy. on the other hand, my alternate canon fic, “Man is condemned to be free” (DreamSMP) is ultimately hurt/comfort with a happy(ish) ending, but you have to get through a lot of literal torture and pain first. so... not exactly 'happy'.

Do you write crossovers?

no, but I do come up with ideas for them quite frequently. I'm just not really compelled to actually write them. my favourite universe to put my blorbos into at any given time is the hunger games. I also do get inspired by other media when coming up with my original ideas - there are definitely hints of shows and films I've watched in some of my fics.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

not traditionally, but since I write a lot of gore and cannibalism that is quite graphic (and I do properly tag it of course) sometimes I get people commenting that they weren't expecting such graphic violence, or that it disturbed them. which... idk man, read the tags? it doesn't really bother me to get those comments, I usually just remind them that I did tag it all and they chose to click, but I hope they enjoyed regardless.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

my insane AU *ideas* definitely have way more smut in them than my regular fics (which have none). alas, most of those ideas are sealed away in the DMs of my most trusted confidant (you know who you are) and I am way too asexual to actually write it seriously. those ideas also feature more noncon, dubcon, and general abuse trauma than I would be comfortable sharing on my actual account. they are mostly very cathartic ideas that wouldn't get developed into full fics. I do, however, have a post detailing my headcanons for convexian as a trio on the asexual-autistic-cannibalism spectrum. and yes, those three things are inherently linked. that post and the fics that go with it are as explicit as my works get, really. sometimes I will hint at sex / make innuendos in one-off lines, though.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

nope. I've had a few tumblr posts reposted on instagram, but to my knowledge nothing of mine has been outright stolen... sometimes I see people using very similar plots or styles to mine (particularly in the homoerotic cannibalism genre) and go 'haha it would be funny if they were inspired by my fic' but I'm not popular or egotistical enough to be mad about that.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

nope. that would be cool, but I'm in pretty english-centric fandoms right now. my aunt had one of her fics translated into five different languages, so I have a lot to live up to!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope, but sometimes I will get ideas from other people or they will get ideas from me. @angeart and I have co-written our Ari AU (HC), but that is more of a detailed summary than a fic. also go read it.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

I mean come on. did you think it wasn't going to be scarian? (but grumbo, convex, and all combinations of those four freaks, are also up there)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

basically all of them. Kingdoms AU (HC) will haunt me forever though.

What are your writing strengths?

like others before me I'm just basing this on the comments I get - I am apparently very good at getting character voices right (which is something I do try particularly hard to do, but I honestly think sometimes I get it all wrong). one of my other strong points is writing both abstractly and very literally, especially with gore. I like weaving together metaphors and similes with more blunt descriptions of the physical senses. it seems to work.

What are your writing weaknesses?

oh baby I am terrible with action scenes. pure action really stumps me, and it's what I struggle with most in my professional writing too. that and consistent characterisation (I think in fic maybe it's a bit less of an issue, people don't *really* care if a character is slightly inconsistent, but I bug myself with it... 'he would NOT say that' is my internal motto) also sometimes I dive way too deep into the internal world and forget about the external - especially when a character has to do something simple like walk down the stairs or some other quite mundane action. then everything becomes quite confusing and loaded in too much metaphor and weirdness, something I noticed the most when re-reading the first chapter of Kingdoms AU.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

I did it once. badly. I'm monolingual and stupid and my opinion on this is just sort of 'do whatever makes the story flow the best'.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

hamilton. i think. but I had ideas for my little pony and team crafted beforehand that I never wrote because i was, like, 10.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

honestly just wanna write more solo grub (grian x cub). hashtag grub violence.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

one of my least popular fics, and second most recent. Who can really tell? (Life Series) is one of the works that feels the most polished and creatively challenging. perhaps I love it so much because it's unpopular, but I genuinely think my characterisation of listener!bigb was some of my best. it remains amusing to me that its sister fic is my most popular fic by kudos. if you're reading this, perhaps go give it a chance ? 🥺 I also have a huge soft spot for COMMS AU (HC), of course. but it feels unfair to judge an unfinished fic against finished ones.

---<0>---

I don't usually tag people in these sorts of things, but if you wanna give it a go then definitely do! I totally stole the entire formatting and idea from shouting. I will tag @angeart a second time, but no pressure my partner in crime ;D

[9800sblog]

charity event tarot reading

70% of profits go towards Patinhas Carentes

PT-BR/ENG

★ the organization

this is a non-profit organization towards cats and dogs, it has helped animals and owners for over a decade, not exclusive to the ones involved or residing in the organization. I've had the opportunity to volunteer multiple times in the cat house and visit the dog house, as well as participate in their events, they are extremely organized and kind. as most charity work, unfortunately they struggle with funds oftenly, as most of the animals they rescue are sick, hurt and/or old. you can find more information in their website or instagram page!

★ what is this event?

it's a group of inexpensive and simpler readings, in order to accumulate some money for the organization. it's 1 paragraph per question, and there's a list of options for readings in the end of the post! I have made a pick a card to promote this event where you can check out my abilities, my writing style and length.

★ how is this trustworthy?

I will keep as much transparency as I can! you can either choose to send money directly to the organization with PicPay, or Pix, if you're brazilian, or send it to me via PayPal, knowing that 30% will go to my pocket to make sense of the time and energy I will spend in this, keeping me away from work and resting. if you send it through me, here's how it'll work: the money will be kept in my bank account until the 8th of December, when the event officially ends. on the 9th, I will send 70% of the accumulated money to them and post all types of bank receipts, tag all the people that participated and screenshots/proof of the organization receiving the money! I would ask that you add your username and "para: Patinhas Carentes" in the note of your transaction so I can be sure and also use it as proof of the amount. if there are ever any questions about this, I won't hesitate to answer!!

★ how can you participate?

through my DMs or askbox (anonymous not allowed), one can tell me they wanna participate and which question(s) they want. send me the confirmation of payment + a fact about you, and you'll be added to the list! 😊 if your question involves another person, make sure to add the preferred gender. please send feedback that I can post so others may feel more comfortable about participating!

★ keep in mind!

after the 8th of December, the event is over and every reading you buy from me will be processed as the usual ones! you can still give them your donation, but if you buy a reading from me after this time, 100% of the profits will be pocketed and go towards whatever I decide as it will be my money.

I will answer the requests from this event in around 3 days!

reminder that if you send the money through me, I will send all of it as a single amount on the 9th!

these are simple and not detailed readings, as there are multiple people I have to answer to and little time to focus on each individual. if you want a more detailed reading you can do the usual reading with me and wait 2-4 weeks as we have long conversations and stuff, but for this event, I cannot give more than what I prepared.

★ payment options!

PicPay: @patinhas.carentes

Pix: patascarentes@gmail.com

PayPal: 4433xyz@gmail.com (mine)

★ reading options!

as I did a poll asking which subject the tumblr community would prefer, most of the questions are about future spouses, but you can surely ask about any subject or person, as long as you're paying and being respectful.

1 question (3$/R$)

2 questions (5$/R$)

3 questions (9$/R$)

4 questions (15$/R$)

5 questions (20$/R$)

5$/R$ readings!

shufflemancy

pictures

a look into your future family

how is your connection protected?

how they'd take care of you?

glimpse into a special or magical moment with them

your shared philanthropic destiny

their gifts for your life

who are your spiritual protectors/advisors?

found family: who was meant to be in your life?

messages from your pets

general characteristics of your fs

where does your soul feel at home?

your path into their life

your love story in a past life

your love story in this life

your first lifetime together

fear of abandonment: how will they open you up?

how you'll meet

what keeps you both connected?

what stands in your way?

how can you erase the obstacles?

10$/R$ readings

when you'll meet - numbers and general description

unique signs and characteristics for recognition

your paths into each other's lives

how were you hurt in a past life?

[neallo]

do you have tips for writers who lost the writing spark for finding it again? it's been a few years since i stopped being able to write even though i still love it. (i read a lot, so that isn't helping either. i really thought it would.) would really appreciate any tips because i love your writing and would love to know how you go about it!

hi friend! i'm really honored to be asked this, and really flattered that you enjoy my writing :') having gone through some periods of lower / no writing (though not as long) i'll try to speak to what generally helps me ease back into writing. this is entirely off-the-cuff but my DMs are open if you want to discuss further :') (<- i'm mediocre to bad at replying in a timely fashion but i Will get back to you either almost immediately or in 3-5 business days)

when i began writing for meronia, i'd been writing for another fandom for a while and had kind of hit a wall with my major WIP. it felt too high-pressure, and it was so long (65k words posted. scream) that it felt really hard to juggle everything. meronia appealed to me because it felt very low-pressure -- i made a new AO3 account, and a sideblog, so it felt very anonymous and thus basically zero-risk to share something, once i was ready to. my first work for meronia was under 1,000 words, and included very limited information about the characters; it was very simple, and felt very manageable. so, logistically, my first two tips would be to find a way to make the act of writing (and the act of sharing your writing) feel low-pressure/low-risk, and search for ideas specifically that are low-commitment.

since i began writing for meronia, there have definitely been times where i struggled to write things, and when i struggled to finish them. in the case that i'm struggling to write things, or feeling intimidated by my current WIPs, i find it incredibly helpful to receive or generate prompts for short pieces. being given something specific to work on by someone else takes the pressure off of you to come up with an idea you're happy with. like, okay, i can't come up with the groundbreaking life-changing fanfic idea that i WISH i could write rn, but this person asked for a rockstar AU, and i can do something with that. i can have fun with that. let me try to write 500 words about that.

the difficulty in this is, of course, getting people to send you prompts (trickier if you haven't already been writing for the ship in question for a while!) ... to be honest i don't really have major tips about that other than soliciting requests in the tags, but in the off chance that you're specifically interested in writing for meronia, hit me upppppp. because i was just talking about The Struggle Of Starting Stuff with some besties earlier today and have very recently brainstormed this.

while trying to establish a habit of writing regularly, if that's what you want to be doing, writing friends are profoundly helpful. indispensable really. i have a handful of pals i like to body double with, or run writing sprints with from time to time, and it's unbelievably helpful to me. having a set appointment with someone establishes a time to set aside for writing, and having a friend to work alongside creates a sense of commitment to the task at hand. i have also been told by reliable sources that joining in-person writing groups can be really helpful but i have never done that so i cannot speak to it!!!

my last tips are just really general. and they're things i'm not always good at. remember that not everything has to be perfect -- not the first time you write it, nor the fiftieth time you edit it. not everything has to ever make it outside your drafts, even. finding ways to share snippets of things you're excited about and proud of is really helpful for keeping motivation going, imo, especially since some things take so long to finish. it's okay to write things out of order, to write the stuff you're excited about first (<- I'M SO BAD AT REMEMBERING THIS.) it's totally, extremely natural for things to feel really clunky when you first get back into it -- it'll get better eventually (<- also trying to remember this as i fight my way through trying to learn how to smut again).

OH EDITING TO ADD: steering the craft by ursula k leguin has some amazing exercises in it, and i have an epub somewhere if you want a copy.

i have other thoughts on what helps to make more ambitious ideas work, but i don't have time to elaborate on it right now, and it's not exactly what you asked, anyway. again, please feel so incredibly free to reach out to chat more about writing if you wish, too :')

[gemininoel]

i will stand for myself and deffend my integrity perfectly fine as i have no absolute silly bitch to be afraid of and i have the godamn right to get this off my chest.

i have a life to live, a job to keep, an adulthood to survive and real serious things to focus on. which why this is the only post addressing my position on this mortifying incident that i got dragged on by bambi. these levels of slander i was placed on are beyond disgusting, i will no longer tolerate such false dirt.

i will break down my side little by little, with pears and apples. as many of y'all have shown your evident illiteracy.

tw: mentions of fatphobia, death wishes and transphobia

1. masha and applewillowstone

how foolish is to somehow revisit the deal with said person in which i previously addressed, it can be found here for what its worth. i never denied the toxicity or her and apple's actions, i gave masha the benefit of doubt back then and that was part of my mistakes, i still admit with transparency.

this prompted me to re-value who i was supporting, reflect through it, eventually chose to do the right thing by unfriending her, get critical of her transphobia her hostility and privately apologize to whoever i needed to.

bambi, you're getting your 180 wackadoo claims out of nowhere with the purpose of making me look like this shady form, it ain't working.

yes, there were moments i was catty and problematic in my conversations with masha, many of that is dumb shit i am not proud of which i grew up from ever since i cut ties from masha, except what i admitted directly to you. suck it up.

it is wild that for my involvement, which really wasn't as horrific compared to the abusive thing these individuals did, makes people believe i deserve to receive fatphobia, being called a whore, being falsely acused of transphobia and even be told to fucking kill myself through anonymous hate. y'all are taking your unconformity with the wrong bitch.

i refuse to go on an apology tour to the whole community as i did not get involved in the serious trauma infliction that these individuals were exposed for. i refuse to be punished for things i did not commit.

my job with this dead horse was already finished and even after that, some of y'all chose to still think whatever fugazzi ass rumour about me story your tiny little brains decide to stick with then fine, stick with that imaginary idea of me. life goes on.

for the ones up to question me and have doubts on this situation like the civil grown human beings with zero hateration you are: great! i'll be more than glad to answer as i technically have nothing to hide and lose. my DMs are always open.

i no longer know what else to do to prove i worked with this deal with what i had and i did the correct things at the end. i no longer care. flip the page and stop lying on this right here, bambi.

2. the "bullying" acussations

it has come to my attention how now valid open criticism equals bullying. what an interesting case to study...

bambi, i'm still trying to figure out how the hell, you were told by ivy that he can't fuck with your friend for valid reasons politely, then you chosing to try making ivy feel like shit for asking you to respect boundaries and rather than being quiet, mind your own business and be a grown woman about it you CHOSE to be rude to ivy, fight him which rightfully prompted him to block you, still you decide to cherry pick the pieces for your own gain to paint yourself as the victim once freaking again for pity points, yet seeing how literally no one except the cult of enablers that you are part of, disagreed with you with solid facts...

tell me how did you think this will be a terrific idea and allow you to get away with shit without proper backlash?

criticism ≠ bullying

you fucked up and got yourself canceled. stop twisting the deal arround me and my choice to stand and support ivy. this is nobody's fault but yours.

3. the reason why i blocked you

is simple: you constantly brag out loud in pompous ways how you swear to be an innocent love and light little birdie full of rainbows and sunshines and cupcakes yet your actions demonstrate the whole rancid opposite.

i started to look through your shit long time ago. you are the epitome of wolf in sheep's clothing, you pretend to be something you definitely are not online, you love stirring pots but once it all backfires on you with valid disagreements, you run behind your 'but i hate discourse!!' shield.

i'm not the only person who has noticed it. this particular pathern is not normal.

the sky is blue i did not make the rules.

i am erratic, problematic, argumentative, mean ill-tempered and raw which 93% of it is thanks to my ptsd and autism spectrum, sure. but i'm not around claiming i'm a good person. that right there bambi, is the big difference between me and you.

now if you and your little bunch of cult weirdos excuse me, i'd like every single of you bitches to leave me the fuck alone, stop putting words that my devices did not touch and rub some grass. bambi, quit twisting the scenario to surround me. admit you did whole wrong and apologize to ivy, as your actions messed him over and prompted him to close HGC.

you assholes, you childish turds, specially Y'ALL, bitch about antis on billy hargrove tumblr but y'all are doing the whole different agenda of textbook rancid that only feeds our already fucked up reputation. congratulations, your nonsense division is also actively giving us all a bad name.

bambi, put yourself together and get the fuck off my dick.

[towriteloveontheirarms]

Peakaboo! I see you... (modern!Stalker!Aegon II Targaryen x reader)

synopsis: You have always felt safe in your own home, shutting out the scary, real world. Unknowing, that someone stared at you through the large windows almost every day and night. But a window is just glass, and glass… oh it breaks so, so easily…

warnings: Dark fic, non-con, slight somnophilia, stalking, obsession, mentions of alcohol and drinking, afab reader, angst, fluff, smut, oral sex (f receiving), p in v sex

word count: 8k

taglist: @urmomsgirlfriend1, @agqrtz

(If you want to be tagged in the `kissing booth AU´, for a specific character/fandom or in general let me know in my asks, comments or DMs)

a/n: So, in honor of spooky season I started rewatching `You´ and this is what happened. Let me know if I missed any tw´s or anything. I hope y´all enjoy!! <3

When you had moved to King´s landing you found yourself alone and truly scared for the first time in your life. Fleabottom wasn´t the safest place to begin with, but it was the only thing you could afford while attending Uni, leaving you very little safe spaces. One of them being your friend Sarah Snow´s place and the other, your own apartment. Where you could shut out the scary real world with the turn of a key and multiple locks. Cuddling into your bed with your phone, the tv providing the only source of light in the apartment. It´s still early in the evening, but you had always valued a quiet night in over going out to some shitty bar or club or party, like your friends did. You silently shake your head at the thought of Sarah, Aly and Cassandra getting hammered at some party right now. And as if they heard your thoughts your phone starts to ring with an incoming videocall.

“Hey girl!” Aly exclaimed the second you accept the call. Making you hold the phone a little further away at the sheer volume of her voice. You can see your other two friends in the background, getting ready for going out.

“Hey, Aly. What are you up to?” You ask in a much quieter tone.

“We´re going out tonight.” By the way her words slur ever so slightly it is clear that the three of them had been pregaming.

“Okay, but… Why are you calling me? You know I am not in on the whole party thing.” A feeling in your gut told you, that a plan was afoot. A plan you wouldn´t like as much as sitting at home and watching movies.

“You´re coming with us. That´s why.” Cassandra´s voice sounds from the background.

“Oh no. No. No. No.” You insist.

“No, no talking back this time. Your gonna like it. I promise. There is this really niche bar, that has an open mic thing tonight for anyone that wants to share their work. It will be great.” Cassandra tries to convince you in a sweet voice.

“Ugh. Cas, Aly…”

“Come on. You always whine about being insecure about your writing. This could be great for you.” Sometimes you really hated your friends persistence. Especially when her points weren´t even half bad.

“Alright, fine. Send me the address and give me an hour to get ready.” You hear them cheering as you rub your eyes with the hand that isn´t holding up the phone. “But I won´t get behind that microphone. No matter what you say.”

“Yeah, yeah. Just get yourself presentable and come down. We´ll meet you there.” Just as suddenly as they had called you, they hang up again.

You throw your phone to the side and sigh deeply. Running your hands over your face, followed by bringing them down onto your upper thighs in an attempt to motivate yourself. Of course it doesn´t work and so, with another sigh you turn the tv off and hop into the shower. The warm water feels nice on your skin and when the time to step out, the typical feeling of not wanting to leave overcomes you. But you have to get ready if you don’t want to get shit from Sarah or Cas, so you force yourself to put on some light makeup and grab the next best clothes from your closet, that make you look presentable. Looking at the location of the bar you realize that it is only a few subway stops from your place and so you grab your phone, keys and wallet and head out to the station closest to your place. Checking twice if the pepper spray is still in your purse.

You walk down the stairs just in time for the subway to arrive.

When you arrive at the bar Sarah, Cassandra and Aly are already waiting outside. Greeting you with a mutually hollered “Babes!!”

“Heyyy!” You mirror their tone. Putting on a wide smile to not let them see how tired you really were.

Together the four of you enter the bar and the first thing you notice over the low chatter is how stuffed it is already. You barely find a table that fits all of you and immediately order a round of shots. A good choice as it turns out, because you barely have time to put down your coat, when you hear your name announced over the mic. A frown flits over your face, but you don´t have the heart or maybe the energy for a discussion now, so you pound back another shot and get up on the small makeshift stage. You sit down on the uncomfortable bar stool and introduce yourself. Beginning to read the latest excerpt from the book you were writing that you still have on your phone. The audience honestly doesn´t give much of a reaction, aside from your friend´s aggressive cheers. And the spotlight blinds you a bit, letting your anxiety practically spike. You can hear your voice shake as you read. Your hands and legs still tremble when you finally get back to the table.

“Y´all are such assholes. I told you I didn´t wanna read…” You protested as you take a drink from them.

“Aw, you were great either way, babes. Now come on. Let´s enjoy the evening.” Sarah tries to keep peace, laying a soothing hand on your arm. You know she means well. All of them do, but you still feel kind of hurt, that they had gone behind your back like that.

Over all the commotion and the people that read after you, you completely ignore the blonde stranger who, ever since you had entered the bar, couldn´t seem to turn his eyes away from you. Blissfully unaware of the dark thoughts behind them. And it stays that way until you leave. Tipsy, staggering up to the uber under his hidden watchful eyes. You close the door behind you and push the feeling of being watched aside as a side effect of being a woman alone in the outside world. He follows you in his own car. Thoughts of needing to have you and being the one for you swirling in his mind and possessing his every thought. Your mind however is occupied with the need for sleep and so he goes easily unnoticed. Looking through the widow of your ground level apartment as you undress and go to bed in only your underwear. He can even count himself lucky enough to go unnoticed by you over the next few days as you follow your usual routine. Going to the gym, the library, lessons, grocery shopping. Whatever you do, his eyes are on you. Until he is sure he knows your schedule by heart. Moving him along to step two of his plan.

You meet up with your friends at a bar again. A different one this time and on your own accord. It was the last day before spring break and them all leaving to visit home. All of them except for you. You don´t mind not going home so much as being alone for a whole week. So, you make sure to enjoy the evening with them and once again ignore the feeling of being watched that had sat in the back of your brain for the past week or so. And when you go to get another round of drinks, that´s when he strikes.

You make your way over to the bar. Not really looking where you are going, when you run into someone. Their drink spilling all over the front of your shirt. You jump back as the wet fabric clings to your skin.

“Woah, I´m so sorry. Are you okay?” The stranger gives you a bright smile, flashing his perfect teeth. A smile that reaches his lilac eyes. Making them sparkle and crinkling their corners. He holds out some napkins for the stain that steadily grows more uncomfortable.

“Thank you. Yes, no. Yeah, I´m alright. Uh, I´m sorry too. I totally didn´t watch where I was going.” You tap at the stain in order to hopefully take some of it off. Smiling back at him. You can´t help but to. “Let me buy you a new drink. To make up for all of that.”

“No, no. I should buy you one. I totally ruined your shirt. I insist.” He is so effortlessly sympathetic that you couldn´t even protest against his words if you wanted to.

“Okay.” Youn nod and follow him to the bar, where you sit down together.

“I´m Aegon, by the way.” He extends his hand for you to shake, which you do while offering up your name.

“It´s nice to meet you, Aegon.” The two of you order drinks and fall into conversation easily. Talking about anything and everything until you feel your phone vibrate inside of your pocket. Pulling it out you see Cassandra´s name on the screen. Reminding you of who you actually came here with and why.

Another glance at the clock tells you, that it is well past midnight.

“Shit, I didn´t realize it was that late already.” You turn to him to say goodbye. Ready to never see this handsome not so strange stranger ever again, when he makes you another offer.

“Want me to drive you home? It´s probably not safe out there at this time of night.”

“That would actually be so great, but I´d hate to inconvenience you. I probably live in the whole other direction from where you need to go.” You rub your neck. Taking a step back, ready to leave to say goodbye to your friends.

“Come on, it would be my pleasure to do that for you. I would hate for something to happen to you on your way home. Just say yes.” Aegon´s gaze is so intense and there is only one thought behind them, that the alcohol has made you ignorant of to his luck. If you leave alone now, he wasted his chance.

You sigh. “Okay, alright. Thank you so much. I just need to say bye to my friends and then we can go.”

He offers you his jacket to hide the stained shirt and then follows your lead back to the table.

“Hey, girls. I´m super sorry I just dipped, but I met Aegon and he´s gonna drive me home now. I´ll explain tomorrow. Okay?”

“Yeah, alright. Just be safe and don´t do anything we wouldn´t do.” They wink at you and turn back to their conversation as you and Aegon make your way outside to his car.

Ever so gentlemanly he opens the door to the passenger side of the golden Mercedes s-class for you, making you curtsy jokingly and giggle, then walks around to the driver side, to get in himself.

The two of you find your way back into the conversation and so you don´t even realize that you never actually told him were you lived. Nevertheless he pulls up in front of your apartment complex in no time.

“I had a really nice evening with you tonight.” He says with another wide grin and soft chuckle.

“Me too. And I´m sorry again for that drink. One would think that at my age I would´ve learned how to watch where I´m going.” You run a hand through your hair. Still slightly embarrassed about your carelessness.

“No, again, it is fine. I should have watched my steps as well, but if you really want to apologize you could give me your number? And we could meet up again some time. I´m guessing you´re on spring break too now.” It´s almost frustrating how good he looks with his head tilted and those beautiful lilac puppy dog eyes. If there was any doubt about wanting to see him again, they are all gone now. You need to see him again. So, you pull out your phone and give him your number.

“Don´t let me wait too long before I hear from you.” You give him one last smile before exiting the car. He sits in the car until you close the building door behind you and then parks his car around the corner to go back and observe you for a bit longer without being overly obvious.

Through the large windows Aegon watches you like every night of the past week. Stepping out of your clothes, doing your nightly skincare routine, before slipping on the smallest pair of pajamas he had ever seen and slip underneath the covers to watch some more tv. Falling asleep in front of it. All with an almost dorky smile. He thinks you are the cutest thing he has ever seen. The way you are so excited about your little meeting is something he has never seen in his life and he is instantly hooked. Fantasies about you being all excited and running up to him when he enters the apartment after a long day out enter his mind. Thoughts about sharing the sweetest kisses. When he opens his eyes he sees something that isn´t as innocent as he first perceived you.

Your hands caress your breasts and wander bellow the blanket, your back arching as they enter your core.

Aegon lets out a breathless curse. His own hand wandering inside his pants to tug on his length. His thoughts turn instantly. From innocent kisses to you arching your back up until your breasts touch his chest. Writhing and squirming underneath him from the pleasure he is giving you. Your tight walls fluttering around his cock as you come from the circles his thumb rubs into your clit. He has to clamp his hand over his mouth so you don´t hear him moan outside of your window. Once he´s finished, he leaves. Not wanting to push his luck, but definitely looking forward to the next time he´d see you.

The next morning you text the girls group chat. Apologizing for your behavior the previous night, by telling them every detail about the conversation with Aegon. How nice he was to you and how you thought that maybe, after a couple more dates, you could say he is the one. And as if he smelled you were talking about him in that moment you get a message from Aegon. Asking you out for coffee. You try to hide the smile that forces its way onto your mouth by biting your lower lip, even though there is no one there to hide it from. You answer him quickly and this time take a little extra time getting ready. Facetiming Aly, who is the only one that isn´t on a plane yet, to consult her on what best to wear. Even if she teases you relentlessly about being so nervous about a simple coffee date.

The truth is you haven´t been out on an actual date in years. Not after your last boyfriend had broken up with you for reasons only known to that absolute piece of shit. You had wasted three years pf your life on him and he couldn´t even give you a reason as to why he didn´t want to be with you anymore all of a sudden.

You take a deep breath to calm your nerves and hopefully stop the bouncing on your leg. Entering the small café he had asked you out to where you find him already sat at a table. A half smirk spreads his face. And by the seven you have to calm yourself down not to do anything embarrassing as a result of the glee you feel upon seeing him.

“Hey, I didn´t make you wait too long did I?” You ask bashfully.

“No worries. I basically just sat down.” He assures you. Watching with careful eyes as you take of your coat to reveal the dress you had chosen with Aly´s help and are now second guessing if the choice hadn´t been a bit too revealing.

“Phew, I´m glad to hear that. I hate making people wait for me.” You wipe away an imaginary drop of sweat and chuckle.

“Nah, you´re good.” He goes to say something else, but in that moment a waitress interrupts him to take your order. Which of course Aegon makes a mental note of. Just like anything he had learned about you so far. The waitress, an older woman, seems to recognize the nature of your meeting and how nervous you are and gives you an encouraging smile. You smile back at her and make sure to remember to tip her later.

“Alright so, normally I´d ask how you have been, but since we last saw each other last night I guess did you come home well yesterday?” You quipped.

“Yeah, I did. How about you?” The two of you share a laugh. Without the alcohol in your system he seems even more effortlessly charming. Coffee gets followed by dinner, which he invites you to. Talking about family, life, dreams and aspirations. You tell him about your parents’ divorce, the relationship you have with all of them, how studying and writing is going. How your dream is to be published one day. You open up to him more than you ever have to anyone in that short amount of time and he listens. He listens so well. Telling you about his studies and his father’s company, that he will inherit one day, yet he never makes you feel small compared to him, like others would probably make you feel. It would be easy to, but he just doesn´t. And your feelings for him grow ever stronger. He even persists on paying for you. Saying that you could pay the next dinner, but the two of you are aware that you could never earn enough money to pay a meal this expensive.

At the end of the day he drops you off at home once more, but when you hug him goodbye whispering “Thank you so much. I had such a great time today.” Into his ear he goes in for a kiss.

It’s a possessive claiming of your mouth kind of kiss. All clashing teeth and heavy bursts of breath. Wandering hands, pulling on clothes in a needy attempt to get the close proximity you both want so deeply. He pulls the air from your lungs only to breath it back into them a second later. It´s hard to do, but in the end you manage to pull away.

“It´s late. We should continue this another time.” You whisper with your forehead resting against his shoulder. Everything inside of you screams to keep going, but your brain told you to take it slow. To savor it.

“Okay. I can´t wait.” He lays a peck on the shell of your ear. Letting you go reluctantly. “Text me when you get home.”

You chuckle and step out of the car. Pulling out your phone the second you close the door behind you to text him a quick `I´m home. Had such a great time with you. Can´t wait to do this again <3´.

He watches the glow of the screen vanish behind the large window. Replying with a `Same. Sweet dreams<3´, but this time he doesn´t stay around to watch you. Instead he goes home to sink into one of the dreams he had ever since he met you. One where he watches you sleep in the morning, the rising sun and the way you lay sprawled out beside him making you look like an utter goddess. And then you wake up to give him a smile that makes him feel like he has a heart attack. It feels so real that when he wakes up to another text from you, he has to pull himself together to not mess up his carefully hatched out plan. His train of thought gets interrupted by his phone ringing.

“Good morning…” Your raspy morning voice comes out of the speaker. You sound absolutely gorgeous to him. Making his eyes roll back into his head a little.

“Good morning, doll. What´s up?” The smirk on his face is audible in his voice.

“Nothing much. I just wanted to hear your voice.” You murmur, rubbing your eyes. “Oh gods, that sounded so cheesy. I´m sorry.”

“Hey, you´re good. I actually think that´s really cute.” He muses.

“Oh? Well, I guess I don´t have to feel like it is too soon when I tell you I had the weirdest dream tonight.” You chuckle and clear your throat from the sleepiness.

“Really? Do tell.”

“I don´t know. I can only remember that we were together, in my apartment and I guess you were watching me sleep and it felt so real… I probably sound so weird right now.” You scoff at yourself. Wondering why you even told him that.

He on the other hand chuckles at your confession. Cursing himself out in his mind, to will himself to stay strong.

“I had the same dream. I hope you don´t think I´m like a stalker or obsessed or something now.” His tone is lighthearted, but the gods now he needs you to stay unconscious of that side of him. No, he wasn´t any of those things. He was looking out for you. You meant a lot to him and that meant he wanted to protect you. “So, you know. You at least aren´t weirder than I am.”

Sadly you have a shit ton to study, before spring break ends and so you aren’t able to meet again in the coming days. Of course that doesn´t mean that he can´t see you though. The feeling of being watched follows you around like a burning shadow throughout that time. Yet you push it away. Telling yourself that it was probably just exam stress or social anxiety or something. Which Aegon, knowing you as well as he does, is grateful for. Usually he would hate to see you anxious or stressed, wanting to take all that burdens you off you, but when it came to him getting caught… Well, not that he was doing anything wrong, but experience has taught him, that people tended to see things differently from him.

So he stays hidden. Texting and calling you every day and watching you sink your fingers or a toy into your sweet cunt each night. Every time he is overcome by thoughts of how you would make so much sweeter sounds if it was his length that your walls where fluttering around as wave after wave of pleasure rolls over you. Each time he reminds himself anew that things are going steady with you and it would  only be a short while until those thoughts became a reality.

On one of those evenings you surprise him with another call. Curses fall from his lips under his breath as he scrambles around the corner, praying that you haven´t heard his phone.

“Hey…” He says after pressing the green button on the screen.

“Hey, is this a bad time? You sound kinda out of breath.” Your voice chirps on the line.

“No, you could never call at a bad time.” Except for now kinda. “What´s up? Didn´t you say you wanted to write all day?”

“Yeah, I did. When my friends come back tomorrow there will be little chance to do so uninterrupted, but um… I couldn´t focus. Like at all.” You murmur.

“Oh, can I do anything to help?” he purrs.

“You could get some Starbucks and come over?” You ask in the most tempting voice you could offer. Not that he needed much persuasion to tend to any of your wishes as soon as you asked.

“Sure. I´m on my way.”

“You´re the best. Thanks.” You chirp and then the only thing that can be heard on this side of the line is the tone of the disconnected call from the device in his hand. Sprinting to his car, he almost drops his keys in anticipation at the prospect of spending time with you. Basically racing to your favorite coffee shop to get coffee, and some pastries he knew would be more than happy about right now. He knew, knowing everything about you would come in handy one day.

At the same time you put your laptop to the side. Trying to find something to pass the time until he would arrive. Which was harder to do than you would have thought and so with nothing to do, you decide to put some effort in your little meeting. Sitting down in front of the small closet to look for a cute dress to put in. Getting ready just in time for a knock on the door.

“Come in, it´s open.” You yell as you go to sit back down on the couch.

“You know, you probably shouldn´t leave your door unlocked in this neighborhood. Whoa…” He stops in the doorway when he sees you.

“Wh-What?” You tilt your head and look at him with confusion in your wide eyes. You look so innocent right now.

“Do you always write like that?” Aegon puts down the snacks and vaguely motions to your outfit of choice. “Cause… If so, I want to always be around for it.”

You can´t hide the snorting laughter that forces it´s way out of your lungs. “That´s really sweet, but no. I usually don´t look like this at all when I write. In fact I usually look so much worse you would want to stay as far away from me as possible.”

“I seriously doubt I anything in this world could ever make me want to stay away from you.” Aegon lays his gentle hands on your shoulders and a feeling of warmth spreads in your guts.

You look up at him through your lashes and before you know it your eyes flutter close. Then, a moment later, your lips meet his in the most gentle kiss ever. And you don´t know when things escalate. If it is when your hands come up to cup his cheeks. If it is when you stand on your tip toes to make it easier to deepen the kiss ever so slightly or when his tongue presses against your lower lip to silently ask for entrance. The result is the same. The two of you forgot about why he came over in the first place and abandon everything to make yourselves more comfortable in the bedroom. Rolling around the mattress as you make out heavily. His hands are everywhere on your body at the same time, just as yours are on his. Each touch feels like the right thing to do. The only thing that feels even more right is the way he sinks himself into your tight, warm walls. Like he had wanted from the moment he first saw you.

He´s so careful not to hurt you and as you lay in his arms afterwards, cuddled close, his finger drawing small patterns on your shoulder, you can´t hold back the smile. This is the fastest you have ever gone this far with a person. Mostly out of fear, that they would only want to use you for it. Yet even after only one official date with him, you know there is no reason to be afraid. It´s almost funny how shortly you have known each other and yet you rely on him for everything. He knows you so well already, has an incredible gift of listening and observing, like no one else you had met before. Ever. Before you notice it, a giggle falls from your lips, just as he kisses your temple.

“What´s so funny, doll?” Fuck, even the nickname you usually hated sounded so good from his lips.

“Nothing, just… I just thought about how shortly we´ve known each other and yet we know so much about each other already. I never had that.” You say in an amused tone.

“I´m gonna go ahead and take that as a good thing.” He huffs a chuckle.

“Oh yes, definitely. I honestly love how open we can be with each other.” Oh if only you knew.

“Me too.” He mumbles into the crown of your head. Placing another peck there.

As it turns out it isn´t only the first time you sleep with him, but also the first time you spend the night together. Your activities had robbed all of your energy and with a little more quiet chatter, the two of you slide of into slumberland.

You are sad to watch him leave the next morning, but the alarm on your phone, that interrupts your romantic little breakfast that Aegon had cooked, painfully reminds you, that you promised to pick up Aly from the airport.

“I´ll call you later, okay?” You promise him as he steps out of your car.

“I can´t wait already.” He replies.

You make your way to meet your friend and of course he follows you once again. Extra careful that you don´t see his car. It wasn´t necessarily low-key after all. Things are easier once he follows you into a café that looks like no ordinary student could pay for the food there already, keeping a close eye on you as you and your friend order brunch, nothing unconventional from what you have told him about her and your other friends. He starts to toy with the idea of leaving to not get caught, when something Aly says makes his ears perk up.

“So, how is it going with your new favorite person?” Her tone is light and she wiggles her eyebrows at you.

“I already told you to stop calling him that.” You laugh at her antics. “And don´t even try calling him my boyfriend. We haven´t even been on two dates yet.”

“Yeah, alright. Not even on two dates, but he has also been inside of you and has spent the night at your place after getting you snacks simply because you asked him to…” she shoots you an unbelieving look. “Like seriously. And you haven´t even told me all the dirty little details yet. Bitch, you owe me. I thought we were friends.”

If his heart beat higher before, when the word boyfriend left your lips, it beats even higher now at the mention of your night together.

“There´s not much to tell.” You try to deflect.

Not much to tell? He asks himself. He thought he had done better than `not much to tell´.

“Oh hells no. You know I won´t let you off that easy.”  She persists.

“Alright. Okay. It was great. He was so sweet and made sure to make me come like two times before he thought about himself. You happy now?” You try to keep your voice down as much as possible so the people around you don´t hear. Which is only a half success as Aly´s squeal gets you some of the unwanted attention anyway.

“Was he big?” Her question earns a shocked expression and gasp from you. And a concealed giggle from Aegon.

“I mean I guess. You know I don´t have much to compare it to, but I´d say he was solid.” You shrug. “Now can we please change the topic? How was your time with the family.”

Aly starts on a rant about everything her family did and said and so Aegon decides to go before he truly overtaxes his luck.

As he walks by the window you are sitting close to, you think it is him, weighing the options of saying something or not, deciding against it. You were just imagining things, because Aly was talking without a single pause and you missed him. You sigh, trying to concentrate on whatever your friend was talking about.

When you finally get home it is late afternoon already and you are pretty tired, but you can´t pass up on the call you promised Aegon.

“Hello there.” He picks up.

“General Kenobi.” You answer in the fashion that the Star wars quote commands.

“How did it go with your friend?” He asks feigning genuine interest as if he hadn´t been there for the most interesting part.

“Yeah, it went well. I just got home, basically.” You sigh and rub your eyes, who were burning for some reason.

“Wow.” He huffs amusedly.

“You can say that loudly. I originally planned on asking you if you want to come over, but I totally forgot that I have an early class tomorrow that I need to prepare something for. This week is gonna kick my ass…”

“Ah, damn. So how about we meet up Friday evening? I could pick you up and we could check out this new bar that just opened.” He suggests. Knowing already what this meant for the coming days.

“That would be so cool.” A yawn interrupts what you were saying. “Gods I´m sorry I´m really tired. Would you be mad if we hang up now and I´ll text you again before class?”

“Not at all. You go ahead and do your thing. I´ll hear from you tomorrow.” He reassures you.

“Thank you. Good night, Aeg.” You chirp.

“You have a good night too and don´t overdo it with the studying.”

“I won´t, mom.” Your faux annoyed tone gets broken up by one last chuckle before the two of you hang up. You always laugh so much with him. More than with anyone else and at the same time your deep talks are on such a level you don´t know how to express it to your friends.

You have always felt safe in your own home, shutting out the scary, real world. Unknowing, that someone stared at you through the large windows almost every day and night. But a window is just glass, and glass… oh it breaks so, so easily…

Friday takes forever to roll around, but when it finally does, nothing can wipe the smile from your face. Your mood is basically indestructible. As is his. You sing and dance your way all through out getting ready and when Aegon rings the bell you open the door with a spring in your step.

“Someone´s in a good mood.” Aegon muses.

“Just happy about seeing you.” You admit. Hugging him and kissing his cheek as a greeting. “Lemme just grab my purse and then we can go.”

You lock the door behind you and together he drives you out to a place that can hardly be classified as a bar. Upon entering the place you feel massively underdressed, but he doesn´t seem to care. He is just happy to be there with you and you are happy to be there with him. He asks about your week and how your writing is going while you sip one drink after another until you feel a light buzz. The alcohol making your insides feel as warm as his presence and his hand on your thigh do. Over the duration of the evening you gradually move closer, but by the time he drops you off, he lets you go with just a quick peck to your lips.

“Thank you for the nice evening.” You rub your eyes. Wanting to say something, anything to stay close to him just a bit longer, but your tired and tipsy mind can´t come up with anything.

“With you it´s always a nice evening. Now go on. Get to bed before you fall asleep in the passenger seat.” He squeezes your thigh one last time before he lets you open the door to head inside.

As always he parks his car around the corner to watch you until you fall asleep, but somehow tonight something is different.

Aegon feels a strange sensation tugging at his heart. A longing. To have you right this second. He doesn´t know what comes over him, but without a second thought he takes one of the stones in front of your window and throws it at the glass. It was meant to tap the glass, at least that´s what he tells himself, but instead it breaks it.

Fuck, Aegon curses under his breath, praying to the seven or any other deity that is willing to hear him that you didn´t wake up from the commotion. When your apartment stays silent, he decides that it isn´t safe for you alone with the broken window situation. It takes a few tries, but in the end he manages to climb through it. Keen on not making to much noise while walking over the shards on the ground, he tiptoes over to your bed.

You lay with your back towards the free side and so it is easy for him to slide in under the covers as well. He presses his chest as close to your back as possible, his hand laying innocently but protectively over your waist.

Aegon kisses your temple and silently promises to not close an eye, to watch over you, all night.

But the night is long and having you so close to him, smelling your shampoo and feeling your hips rub against his every time you shift in your sleep, makes it hard to keep his hand there. It also made him hard. The next time you shift in your sleeping state, his hand wanders down to your thighs. Once more and it lands trapped between them. Gently caressing your slit through the thin material of your leggings.

You sigh and stir lightly at his touch, but don´t wake up. Instead you just press yourself closer to him in your unconscious state. The action prompts Aegon to bite his lip to stifle the moan that wants to break free from his lungs. He can´t give himself away like this. He would only scare you and that is the last thing he wants to do. You simply look so good, how could anyone help themselves. You can be lucky he is there to watch over you.

A quiet moan comes from you as he continues his ministrations. The touch barely light enough to tease, but that heavenly sound pushes him further.

His hand slips underneath the waistband, past your lace panties and finds your already wet heat.

“Fuck.” He whispers, pushing two of his thick fingers inside of your entrance. He wants to take things so much further, but if he wants you to stay asleep he has to be careful. He pumps the two digits in and out of you at a slow pace. Feeling you grow even wetter as you squirm, quiet moans the only tell for the pleasurable feeling you are experiencing. He speeds up the movement of his fingers slightly, until he can´t take the lewd noises coming from your core anymore. He just has to taste you or he was sure he would die right then and there.

He shifts his position on the mattress, turning you onto your back, pausing when you stir again, moving to lay between your legs. Your pants are discarded and carelessly thrown to the side, before he dives in for the first taste of your heavenly center. He regrets not taking the time to appreciate your body the way it deserves, but he needs you so much there is no time for that now. His tongue licks a stripe up the length of your cunt, moaning at the sweet taste. And when he hears your own quiet moan and sees how you bring your hips closer to his face he is unstoppable. His tongue delves into you, fucking you with it and recklessly. Reaping every single one of your little noises and movements. He is so far gone that he doesn´t even realize, that with every new stir you start to wake up a little more.

At first your mind is still foggy with sleep and the pleasurable feeling his lips and tongue bring you. Your hand instinctively treads itself into his hair. But when you fully come to You scramble backwards until your back hits the headboard. His mouth chasing after you before he realizes what has happened and looks up at you.

“Aegon?! What are you doing here?” You gasp.

“Shh, it´s okay. Just let me worship you in the way you deserve.” Aegon slides his hand up your calf in a feather light touch.

“How did you get in here?” You ask, becoming more panicked.

“The door. I told you, you need to be more careful. You are lucky I came here to protect you.” His voice is soothing and so deep. And so you relax a little, leaning back as he resumes his previous activities.

But somehow something just feels wrong. Like a feeling in your gut. This is so unlike anything he has shown you of himself. Thinking about it he hadn´t shown you all that much in the first place. And that feeling just won´t let itself be shaken off so you shove his head away once more.

“Can we please just go back to sleep? I don´t really feel entirely in the mood right now.”

“Oh doll, that sounded much different a while ago. I didn´t even touch you all that much, yet you were still soaking those lace panties for me.” He climbs on top of you, rasping the words into your ear. “And the position I found you laying in… You´re such a fucking tease. It´s like you were begging for it.”

A sickening cold fear spreads in your system. A yelp leaving your mouth as he pulls you down by the ankle so your core is pressed to his. You are too in shock to return his kiss when he forcefully presses his mouth to yours. This is not the Aegon you know, but something tells you that this is the real Aegon. Coming back from the shocked state, you try to push him away. Hands pressed to his chest and legs eagerly searching for a way out, but he is too strong.

“I don´t want this, Aegon. Please stop.” You whimper into his shoulder as he mouths at your neck. Nibbling at all the most sensitive spots. Hating yourself for the growing even wetter as he rubs his length against your core. You don´t even know how or when he rid himself of his own pants. All you know is, that he now is pulling on your night shirt. Eager to get it off while simultaneously pinning your wrists down over your head so you would stop pushing him away.

As it turns out it is harder to do than imagined and so another yelp falls from your lips as he rips the fabric off your body. Your chest moving with fast and harsh breaths.

“Shh, everything´s alright. I´m here to take care of you.” He silences you with another unrequited, bruising kiss.

You are helpless against him, squirming and writhing underneath his much larger frame. This whole situation is so absurd and to add to all of it, when you bite his lower lip in a desperate attempt of self defense and getting the upper hand, he simply laughs. Tears start to prick in your eyes as the sound reaches your ears. As much as you want to blink them away they free themselves. Running down your burning cheeks accompanied  by a sob.

“Aww, don´t cry doll. I´m going to  make you feel so good. Just relax and let it wash over you.” His free hand wanders down to roughly caress one of your breasts. Rolling and tweaking the nipple between his fingers until the bundle of nerves stands hard at attention and your back arches off the bed. Which he takes as the sign to go ahead in what he is doing. Bringing his mouth down to the other breast, sucking and kissing on it until that nipple looks much the same like the other.

With one swift motion Aegon pushes inside of you, his cock stretching you out like no one had before. It is nothing like your first time together. He immediately starts to thrust inside of you at a fast pace.

"Aegon... please... st-op." You cry out to him to no avail.

Rutting into you at an almost breakneck pace. His head bows down and you feel puffs of hot breath hit the skin where your neck and shoulder meet. The feeling is utterly upsetting and you want to throw up at the same time you lost all the strength in your body. It´s all futile.

“I already told you I´m not gonna stop. You know deep down that you enjoy this. So why don´t you make this easier for yourself and stop fighting it.” His teeth sink into your tender skin harshly.

"Aahhh! Fuck, that hurts! Why are you doing this?" You question him.

"Because you deserve to be worshipped. You are a goddess walking amongst men." He nibbles on your ear. Much softer than the bite before, but that doesn't make anything better.

His hips continue to piston into yours. The sound of wet skin slapping against skin filling the otherwise quiet apartment alongside with your bitter cries. The moon outside is the only source of light illuminating his features.

You try to turn your head away from him, but he forces it back by your chin. So instead you close your eyes. You can´t stand to look at him anymore. His face that looked so sweet and innocent to you before is now distorted into a grimace of sick pleasure. Eyes closely watching your every reaction and a sheen of sweat covering his skin, sticking the front locks of his silver blond hair to his forehead.

With a few more thrusts he comes inside of you and for a short moment you have the hope that this is it. Aegon relaxes against you, but as your cries become weaker you notice how he only seems to get harder inside your warmth.

“Can you please let me go now?” You try again with a quiet, shaky voice.

“Oh, you think I am done with you yet? No no no. We are done when you come around my cock and accept me for who I am. What you made me.” His tone is nothing short of condescending and he tuts at you as your crying grows hysterical again.

You guess the gesture is supposed to soothe you, but it has the exact opposite effect.

You cry yourself into a near state of incoherency as he pushes your knees up against your chest forcefully, giving him a whole new angle inside of you. The way the head of his cock bullies your sweet spot is the final straw. It hurts. Despite it feeling so wrong it feels so good. You hate yourself even more as inadvertent pleasure runs through you like electricity. Making your toes curl and your eyes roll back. You scream louder with every thrust of his until you are near voiceless. You try to remind yourself that your body reacting to it doesn´t make it any more right and it doesn´t mean that you secretly enjoy it. But it´s so hard.

“You like it deep, don´t you?” Aegon´s voice in your ear painfully pulls you back into reality.

“Please.” You beg one last time, but the plea, just like all the others, falls onto deaf ears.

Your body gives up any last fight it has left. Quietly sobbing when your walls flutter around him and your hips start to shake. A wave of pleasure, or maybe just disguised shame, washes over you, provoking Aegon´s second orgasm.

“You are mine. You will never leave me. No one can love you like I do.” His voice sounds so soft. So genuine.

You almost want to believe him, but that would require a level of coherency you currently do not possess.

As you lay there with your whole body shaking, trying to come down from this experience and waiting for what he would do next, you ask yourself where things had gone wrong. What did you do to provoke this? To deserve this? Yet no matter how hard you pray to the seven for a sign or anything at all really, you don´t get an answer.

[ghoulangerlee]

For the asks! 🖇🍄🌺!!

🖇 what are your favorite asks to answer

lmao stuff about me? i dont know!!! uh gosh, i'd say i love to answer asks about my writing or anything creative ive taken on. i love to answer general questions about things. idk once i got someone who sent me an ask about a computer issue they were having and we worked that out through dms haha. but i also just love general chit chat asks too like, i dont think you could ever go wrong sending me something though I might take six business years to respond haha

🍄 what is something that’s happened in your life that you wish you could go back and change?

Honestly, part of me says that if I could go back, I'd never agree to work for my aunt in 2016 and thus, I'd never agree to work for her again in 2017 after cutting contact with her back in 2013. I'd never have agreed to move into the house across the street from hers and take care of an ailing family friend and take the blame for every single thing that went wrong even though I did everything she asked. I'd never have agreed to let her control me as much as she did.

Which would be very fair of me to say because that would have been so much time that I wouldn't have had to deal with her but. But. It was also the catalyst to get me out of South Carolina. It was the catalyst to get me to leave the fucking state that made me miserable. So like. I don't know. If I could still have the same outcome without all that heartache and pain, 100%

Otherwise, I'd go back and fucking make sure my name was on the beneficiary list for mom's insurance money so my aunt would have never gotten her stupid little hands on it. So I could already have her a headstone on her grave instead of still struggling to pay it off because no one else in this family will help me. I'd make sure that I had photo copies of the forms showing that my name was on it and that I was the beneficiary to her insurance money. I'd use it to buy mom's headstone, pay off some of her debt and use it to better myself like she wanted me to. Instead of fucking paying it into a dog rescue.

lmao sorry that got a bit mean. im still fucking bitter about that to be honest.

🌺 what is the best gift someone has ever given you and why is it so important

there is a joke in here somewhere about how my kid was born literally 3 days before my birthday and that was probably the greatest gift I ever received in my life, barring i guess, the gift of life, ofc. And by joke I mean I'm 100% serious when I say that that kid is the best thing that's ever happened to me, not to be disgustingly domestic on main. that kid and my husband are both the best gifts that I could have ever gotten in life. not 2 be sappy or anything. i guess if we're talking about a physical non-person gift then it'd be my class ring; it's not technically a "gift" because I picked it out but I count it. It's the last remaining thing that I have that my mom bought me before she passed. It's a white gold ring with my graduation year and a ruby gemstone on it. means the absolute world to me and I'd cry and be distraught if I lost it