#if you went to college u learned how to summarize and write

[newfeeling77]

my problem w AI has nothing to do w art theft or “lazy” art or really anything about art, but the way i see it advertised, the practical applications for school and work or just “what can i cook with these ingredients” it seems to me like if you really use this shit to write or communicate effectively or create something out of nothing then ur wasting an opportunity to get better at any of those things. if you really can’t write a proper email why are you in this fucking office jobbbbb . SUMMARIZING IS A SKILL… COMMUNICATING IS A SKILL… asking a robot to simplify everything for you must be miserable couldnt be me

[fencesandfrogs]

a follow up from this post where i talk about math and me as a kid.

Wait you have dyscalculia but are a math major? Wow I have dyscalculia but I like the philosophy of math I guess like I sorta forced myself to get into it to learn, I feel I can do basic so for me it's mainly the math anxiety

@totallysweetheart​

tl/dr: the part of my brain that deals with abstract/tangible is, i think, broken, because i can’t deal with numbers as real things, but i can do that with polynomials or w/e.

so to summarize, based on wikipedia’s list of dyscalculia symptoms, here is me:

analog clocks: i’m fine to 15min in real life where i know the time of day, but in a vacuum, most real clocks r tricky. doesn’t come up. the teaching clocks i’m usually fine with because the minute hour hands are really distinct.

larger numbers: depends on presentation. purely verbally? no. visually? depends. if they both start with the same number it’s harder.

sequencing issues: not really.

financial planning: bank accounts are black magic and my mom still manages mine. i err on the side of frugal, which lead me with like 50% of my college meal plan unspent last semester.

visualizing numbers: no. nope. can’t do. not at all. numbers r fake. 

arithmetic: it sucks, a lot. i’m better at multiplying and adding, and it’s gotten better because i did a lot of practice a few years ago, but i still prefer calculators. 

number writing difficulties: yeah? hard to say i’ve been doing algebraic stuff for a long time and that really cuts down on the number of places to make those kinds of mistakes.

concepts and practice: this is where i’m strongest. my math conceptual game is strong as hell, and i don’t usually struggle with putting it into practice. even word problems i’m pretty strong at because like. it’s just math.

names of numbers: not really an issue.

left/right: also not really an issue. although it takes me a second.

spatial awareness: doesn’t exist. just. doesn’t. people don’t believe me then they ask me how long something is and i say like three feet and they’re like “it’s taller than you” and i’m like “oh really? huh the more you know”

time: im timeblind af. also adhd tho so that doesn’t help.

maps: ehhhhh. hard to say. I’m okay with some parts of maps but not others. this has definitely improved since school.

working backwards in time: i have an app for that its beautiful and i love it

music: i am good at music notation. not great at rhythm but i’m good at music in general.

dance: i did 12 years of dance. i’m not amazing, but it was a nonissue.

estimation: see: time, spatial awareness (the answer is i cannot)

remembering formulas, etc: i’m usually good at remembering this stuff.

concentration: adhd already so? maybe?

faces, names: i do not do very well here.

so like. i basically have the best possible set of symptoms to become a math major. i kind of skirted attention as a kid because i could get around a lot of my difficulties and didn’t really have anything to do but use brute force to cram multiplication facts into my head.

and because i had this really strong conceptual understanding, i just sort of survived until algebra. at which point i was very happy.

because basically most of my dyscalculia issues revolve around numbers and the real world. i can’t do time, i can’t estimate, i can’t really work with numbers. but i can work with algebra because the concepts were fine. there was just a road block.

for me, it’s kind of like having a major speech disorder in your native language. speech in the your mouth doesn’t work, not the language issues. as a kid i loved writing because the words came out the way they were in my head. they didn’t get shuffled and mangled. and that’s also how i felt about algebra. like, look! you don’t have to worry about getting the numbers right if you can move the variables around,

and obviously it’s not that complicated because i’m skipping basically from fifth grade to my junior year of high school, but even though it was a constant friction between me and everyone about why i kept making careless mistakes, even after other adhd stuff got treatment, it was generally acknowledged that i knew what i was doing, so i never really developed math anxiety. 

and as a math major, like, numbers are not a very large part of what you do. i use wolfram alpha a lot for solving that sort of thing. i do stuff that’s more about the logic parts of math. lil puzzles waiting to be solved.

it really does feel kind of like the abstract and tangible parts of my brain were swapped. because numbers really do feel abstract, but figuring out the equations of a graph is a fun game to play with friends. i usually get the constants wrong, but that’s besides the point.

i’m not entirely sure if this was helpful and/or clarifying in any way. if asked, i will usually not mention dyscalculia because? it just doesn’t feel very relevant/serious. because my management strategy is: don’t do anything with numbers and estimation ever. and then that works, because i don’t have to. it’s only really relevant in the context of me, a child, very confused about why those centimeter cubes exist, etc. 

and also, as i got older, i dug more and more into theory and proofs. learning about numbers as entities that follow rules was a really useful thing for me. learning about negative numbers made subtraction easier for me because it wasn’t addition in reverse, it was addition of a negative number. which made more sense to me.

i struggled in high school geometry because of all of the numbers and angles (i have a shirt somewhere that says “all i learned in geometry is that you can’t measure shapes”) and every time someone pointed out applications to me i kind of just went “okay but there are rulers for that”

and i do like geometry! i like how we can build properties out of simple rules and how shapes behave and its really cool you only need like 5 postulates to build a lot of geometry but if you make me deal with too many angles and i want to cry

so yeah. uh. i’m a math major & it works because when we deal with numbers, they’re almost variables in themselves? like okay we’re going to use 0 and 1 here to apply this theorem but the numbers themselves aren’t relevant.

here is a screenshot from my calc textbook, if this helps make my point. most of these concepts are things i can just. put in my head and hold the way people who can think about numbers describe numbers to me. 

i have no idea where u are in ur life but if u like math from the logic side, then pure math exists and its p cool. usually you gotta get thru calculus, and then take a course in proof writing (at my uni it’s called “transition to advanced math”) at which point everything turns into theorems and proofs and the most number intensive course is probability. i don’t even need statistics credits to graduate.

this was a lot and i tried to wrap it up like 3 times and then i had more to say because i think a lot abt math and the fact that i was lucky to have the right opportunities to not entirely chase myself away from the field (which is a lot more words and i should probably work on my hw) but if u have more questions lemme know bc! i am very dedicated to exposing people to math and why i love it.

[gg-astrology]

Hey gg it been a while 😙 College started on a rlly stressful toll. Recently a rlly close friend of mine in college is trying to distance herself away from me. It's not cuz like she doesn't wanna b friends w me but cuz she's scared that her aggressiveness would push me away (she's a ♊️🌞 ♈️🌙 ♌️ ⬆️) I have admitted to her that there were times when she went too far w it but imo I c it as a problem that can easily b solved but she thinks it a big problem cuz of something that happened back then.

And I understand y since she told me and I wanna just talk it out in person (since most was over text and she was trying to not text me much cuz she felt unhealthily attached) but I'm rlly stressed and scared that it's not gonna end well and a while ago I was telling this to another friend of ours cuz I got so stressed out and when I was looking they texts to summarize the situation for her, I accidentally recorded a snippet of what I said and it sent to ma ♊️🌞 Friend

(I'm so sorry I'm writing so much ik that u have a lot of requests so it's ok if u don't respond ☺️👌) tldr I just wanna figure it out asap cuz I don't wanna stress her out but I feel like I should let her have space to figure it out but landnsjssj -cap s/gem m anon. I sound like such a Debbie downer lol

Hey cap/gem anon!! 💕 Don’t worry at all I’m jus glad to hear how you’re doing!! ;; 💕💕 I hope everything thing with the boy is going ok? And that you’re -- trying to take care of yourself (its ok if u can’t, jus as long as you remember sometime to do so!) 💕 

ksjdkfnjk foolery doesn’t stop (@ u sending a snippet to ur gemini friend) it if makes u feel any better communication has been v v embarrassing for everyone this season 💕 so many humiliating things happening like embarrassing yourself in front of people (’cracking your own face’?)

I feel like the only kinda input i can offer is jus this feb transit outlook -- I added a lil advice thing on it, that’s what I kinda wanna say? 💕 Like everyone is feeling a lil aggravated, so many Aqua conjunct and while it can be good (if we use it to it’s benefit) -- it also means it’s time to dissect our habits, take things/relationships apart and learn how to move onto different ventures as well 💕

It’s more than that obv, but pls read with ur own discretion 💕 I hope it can bring u a lil bit of strength, solace or comfort in your time of stress/worry. 💕 Use ur head and trust ur instinct, it might be a lil better to be cautious of ourselves/our relationships-- what we project and do w/ it’s power, than to over-exert or under-exert-- aggravate things even more rn 💕