#im going to sleep bc im scheduling this bc Post Limit

[plushyecorridor]

what is wrong w these two

[growandrecover]

hi,

im really scared bc im officially ✨overweight✨ and my ed has just been #triggered. any tips on how to avoid relapse?

Hey, anon.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. I'm really proud of you for reaching out and actively trying to avoid relapse. That's wonderful.

First up, if you can, stop weighing yourself, measuring, body checking, or anything else you may be doing. Your weight does not say anything about you. Absolutely nothing. If you're concerned about your BMI specifically (which I know a lot of people with eds get caught up in), it's all a bunch of garbage. It was made based off of cis white men, and does not take muscle mass into consideration. Even if you happen to be a white amab person, it's still a joke. If you can't stop completely, try to limit what you're doing.

Next, please make sure you're eating all your meals and snacks. My therapist has told me to do this, and I'm passing along the information to you guys. If you have to, set a schedule for yourself and stick to it with the best of your ability.

If you're someone who used exercise to lose weight in the past/if you exercise currently, you may want to lay off that until you're in a better headspace. Going along with this, if you wear a Fitbit or Apple Watch of any kind, taking it off may help avoiding triggers like your daily step count, calories burned, and your other exercise levels. I wore one for almost a year and took it off a few months ago. Surprisingly enough, my quick dips back into some of my ed behaviors have stopped. I finally realized that those triggers sitting on my wrist 24/7 had been messing with my head.

If you're able to/not already, get an adequate amount of sleep. I think we all know what happens when we stay up too late, letting our minds wander into our ed thoughts in the middle of the night. Low levels of sleep interfere with our mental health, which, in times like these, needs to be extra nurtured.

Try to look at it from someone else's point of view. If someone you knew came to you with this exact problem, what would you say? Would you want them to be kind to their body, to fuel it, and to take care of it? Probably, right? Or if that's hard for you to say to yourself, wouldn't you just want them to be free of their eating disorder?

This is pretty harsh, but your ed is trying to hurt you. It's trying to kill you. Whatever it needs to say to get you to engage in those behaviors, it will. It'll tell you that you're not as [adjective of your choice] or [another adjective of your choice] when you weigh more than you have in the past, but that's simply not true. As I said earlier, your weight is just a number. You deserve recovery. You deserve happiness. You deserve a life free of food rules and that nasty voice in your head.

If you're scared, I'm here to tell you: your ed will not fix anything. Losing weight will not fix the idea of yourself you have in your head, and won't make you magically like your body more. It wants you to think it will, but it won't. It only makes your life worse.

Something that helps me is looking at recovery posts on Pinterest or Tumblr. I love being able to see other people's thoughts and encouragement. It always inspires me to keep going, and I hope it'll do the same for you, too.

Whatever it is that triggered you is not worth all the pain and suffering that comes with an ed. I don't care if it was something somebody said or just a thought you had. Nothing is worth going back to your ed.

You can do this. I believe in you.

I really hope this was at least a little bit helpful, and I hope you're okay, anon. If you're not right now, you will be.

If I missed something, or you need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message! ♡

[arovaricious]

Help me get rid of actual vampires /j (the bug kind)

Edit: $10 donated and appreciated!

Also added my PayPal

Tw for a post entirely about bedbugs

Hi, I nor my mother have the funds to once again hire a company for heat treatment against the horrid, paranoia inducing f*ckers that continue to survive in our apartment and drink our and our cats blood.

We are, to put it lightly, at our combined mental emotional and financial limit. Quarantine put me out of employment, my mother has had major surgery within the last few months, and both of us have gotten our anxiety and paranoia levels put higher than ever bc we really thought the company we finally were able to hire would get rid of the bedbugs :)

So yeah! Im here to formally ask for help bc Im at a loss for what else to do, bc even if I were to get a job tomorrow all of that money would go to helping pay rent and utilities and food etc.

Any and all of these donations would specifically be used for 2 purposes: saving the funds to eventually hire a bedbug killer company once more, and to pay for the extra drying of clothes and linens as it can really add up when one is constantly drying their stuff to heat kill bugs so they can at least try to get decent amounts of sleep.

That being said, the estimate for a lower cost hire is at least $1000 which is. A lot that we don't have. The laundry funds aren't a priority but fyi the Laundromat we go to only costs $4 for about a 60 minute large sized dryer.

(Im not sure exactly how often ill be able to go to said Laundromat as we have one car and my mother has a varying schedule with her doctor appointments)

Anyways onto my cashapp info:

$EarlAntMcMahon

Currently, $180.00

And my PayPal

@/neonearl

The image below is of my cashapp barcode

[drunk-on-inejs-laughter]

cym as hp characters?

*cracks knuckles* let's do this. I'm doing marauders and golden trio eras and this is going to be based off of fanon bc fuck jk bitch

@sankta-nazyalensky-of-the-storm - remus. i feel like he's very dark acedemia but also lowkey chaotic and the brains behind the marauders

@gaebish - hermione and I refuse to accept otherwise. she's smart, loyal to the people she loves, hardworking, afraid of failure and she's lowkey scary

@cressjacquine - j a m e s. chaotic himbo mom friend

@brekkercookie - ron. ron gives me fwoggie vibes and so do you. I'd say luna but you're really clumsy. and ignoring what the movies made him look like he was a good himbo friend, they gave a lot of his lines to hermione and cut some out altogether

@22herondale - sirius. the malo wedding. no further explanation needed

@ahecktonoffandomsinoneblog - I'm tempted to say snape just bc you don't like him but I'm not a bad person so I won't. fred. not george, fred. he's more outgoing and expressive than george and would definitely send people asks bc they hit the post limit

@im-someone-i-guess remus. his sleep schedule does not exist. definitely writes short poems in class. chaotic but in a way that isn't as obvious as the rest of the marauders

@wafflesandschemingfaces - lily. mother hen but at the same time chaotic middle sibling

@saltyfortunes - you give marauders era minnie mcgonagall vibes (fanon ofc). i can't describe it but you do

@wolfnzy01 - marlene or james. marauders and milo x mal wedding level chaotic. sporty bc quidditch team (even tho I doubt most of us ever do anything sporty but there's potential). threatens people but wouldn't ever go through with it bc softie

@iambecomeyourvillain - lee. a lot like the twins. chaotic good. probably doesn't sleep as much as he should. great at commentary. headcanon that he likes stormy weather (I typed this out in my notes and kinda forgot to paste it onto here)

I could do more but this is getting long

[tiredalreadyvv]

im soo scared of jinxing it by posting this but i havent binged in three weeks as of today and this is what helped me the most:

-upper-mid to high restriction, i set my goal to 1100 which is a number i try to both hit and stay under, if im between 700-1400 calories tho i dont beat myself up too much bc my body just needed less or more that day, i dont ride out hunger anymore i make sure i’m satiated

-waking up early and going to bed early, smth about it positively impacted my mental health a lot (which i’ve never been able to do before but a series of all nighters readjusted my sleep schedule to that by accident so now im doing my best to stick to it), i eat most of my food at the start of the day and then i’m less hungy by the end

-avoiding added sugars and focusing on natural sugars and artificial sweeteners here and there, i find that added sugar causes me to binge almost always so i started cutting it out and did a few super high natural sugar days to reset my palate, fruit and honey and stuff, and it helped a LOT. i dont demonize sugar though, i just see it as something that may cause me to not feel great, tried dissasociating it with weight gain. and im still able to get in treats and stuff w sweetener versions of things and protein bars etc

-adding healthy fats to my diet, for a while i avoided fats so i could eat more volume but nuts, olive oil, egg yolks etc are SO satiating and make me less likely to want to cave and binge later

-not beating myself up if i go over my calorie limit/not rewarding myself if i stay far under, just trying to adopt neutrality about it like “ok, i guess that’s the level of energy i needed today! tomorrow’s a new day, and i’ll eat however much i need to again even if that number is the same or different” and genuinely mean it, not “i’ll start tomorrow/i’ll do better tomorrow”, legitimate neutrality. ur body is smart and wants to help you even if your brain doesn’t it WILL level itself out by giving u proper cues to the best of its ability if you’re able to work yourself up to giving it the reins

-on that note, also keeping track of what things make you eat more or less. for example, i just got my booster and i knew in order to prevent getting too sick i couldn’t dramatically undereat, so i upped my intake for the day, trying to make sure a lot of that was nutrient dense foods (i prepped the night before so i had easy means to eat well) and guess what? i ate just like normal the next day and felt way better than if i tried to low restrict (like i did when i got my first dose back in april, i was on a v long fast and was considering going to the hospital)

ofc there’s more to this shit and none of it is like, easy overnight stuff that you just decide to do otherwise none of us would be Having Problems, but this is at least what’s been helping me and im just hoping i can keep it up, hopefully at least one thing can resonate w someone else idk. stay safe

[butchedyke]

i was tagged by miss alex @hotrod2007 to answer 30 questions and tag people to also answer said questions. thank u my dearest soap eating friend this took me multiple days to complete because i got stuck on the last question <3

1. name/nickname: colleen! my beloved discord friends call me col tho

2. gender: teenage boy in a campy 80s film

3. star sign: scorpio! i finally memorised my moon and rising bc i was sick of checking my phone every time it came up but idk what it means so if scorpio sin virgo moon libra rising means anything to anyone. hmu

4. height: short but still taller than alex <3 (approx 5'3")

5. time: it was 11:53pm aedst when i started writing this but i just finished 2 days later and it's 10:16pm <3

6. birthday: november 4

7. favorite bands/groups: one direction, panic! at the disco (do not mistake me for someone that likes or respects br*ndon urie i just like the songs), i'm more prone to just listening to Songs rather than Artists so i'm p limited here dhksbc i've been listening to a decent amount of the cure lately tho

8. favorite solo artist: hozier, mika, harry styles, again tho i listen to a lot of individual songs rather than artists rip

9. song stuck in my head: nothing atm so i'm hoping to keep it that way. most of today i had our house by madness stuck in my head and i don't need that curse back

10. last movie: ready or not

11. last show: s*pernatural

12: when did i create this blog: 2012 :|

13. what do i post: that is such a good question!

14. last thing googled: azealia banks cat

15. other blogs: that's a secret 🧡

16. do i get asks: no and i don't know what i have to do to get them!!!!

17. why did i choose this url: i'm butch. i'm lesbian. that's it!

18. following: 516

19. followers: around 2660, it fluctuates when i change content or post mildly problematic things

20. average hours of sleep: a solid 7 or 8! benefits of living with ur gf who does full time shiftwork ur sleep schedule becomes weirdly regular around hers

21. lucky number: just like. whatever

22. instruments: i haven't touched it for a solid 12 months but cornet, i played in my local brass band from age 10 until i moved out at 17 and still sometimes play when i'm visiting my parents

23. what am i wearing: pyjamas 🧡 grey shirt with cats on it and long black shorts with skulls on them

24: dream job: dream jobs aren't real no one dreams of working whatever but i want to work in a museum! i'd be happy with any job whether it be curating or tour guiding or whatever but i know i need more qualifications :^| other than that though i'd like to work in a library!

25: dream trip:  not 2 be cringe but i'd kill to go to disney world. i've got a Thing for the lore of the parks, sue me

26. favorite food: lasagne. garfield kinnie (joke)

27. nationality: a*stralian 🤢

28. favorite song: atm either wuthering heights by kate bush or the lovecats by the cure 

29. last book read: i genuinely could not tell you the last book i finished reading but i got about halfway through howl's moving castle last year! shit's wack he's literally just a guy from wales? studio ghibli REALLY took some liberties and i thank them every day for it

30. three fictional universes you’d like to live in: suddenly ive forgotten every piece of media ive ever consumed 🧡  on the topic of studio ghibli though i'd definitely say the my neighbour totoro universe given that i have in the past had a cry over the fact that totoro isn't real, maybe ocarina of time hyrule but in a universe where nothing goes wrong and i just live my little lesbian life in kakariko village OR on the floaty island in skyward sword which i have Not played since i was about 9 but have positive opinions on (switch remaster when), and highkey the professor layton universe bc i love a good ambiguous time period and i like the idea of it being normal to just have puzzles everywhere and sometimes communicate through them. don't talk to me unless you solve this puzzle. icon behaviour

im always beaten to tagging the people i want to but im gonna do it anyway just in case <3 @lethbians @morbidstuff2019 @eastaustraliancurrent @dykearchie @zukkacore @pensomolto @afterafternoons obviously no one is obligated to do it and if any of my other beloved mutuals are compelled to u can say i tagged u this is an @everyone

[bloopbyoop]

weep woop

ayo. ive read my scheduled email and its time for freewriting shit again. lmao. I want this post to be like a small light from a lit match stick inside a very hollow, icy, and numbing cave. (sounds cartoonish right? I know. Im obsessed with Adventure Time.) I want all people to be genuinely happy.  Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Upon reaching my 24th anniversary in this world, I finally learned how to truly embrace all my emotions. Some are more overwhelming than the other, but we have to heed in our treacherous yet perplexing minds that everything is fleeting and we are in control. The feeling of extreme sadness fades, but so does joyful states. Everything can change in a matter of minutes or years. You are in control of all your emotions. You are in control of all your life choices. Your actions. Your words. Your perspective. It feels weird to actually write about it. I've wanted to talk about it. I never wanted help from anyone as I firmly believed that I was alone. Sure, I have a family and friends, but it is hard to see that when your head is clouded with negativity. I've even come to the point where I was too overwhelmed, I found being physically hurt less painful. The pain I felt distracted me from what I was thinking. My mind tended to go bonkers. lmao. But bro, I was so good at concealing my bonkers mind. It's easy to fake any emotion that you have. Slap anything sunshine-y or happy to anything and people would believe you. It went on for years. Long story short, thousands of bracelets collected, it became worse. The physical pain could no longer withhold the emotional pain. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't stop thinking. And voila! I found a good amount of self help books (from tumblr) and novels. Novels that brought me to different places. Self-help books that made me understand what I feel and what to do. I've read that taking the easy way out will leave everyone sad. AND IN THE FIRST PLACEEEEEE, I NEVER WANT THATTTTTTT. I want everyone to be happy. I would act foolish and do dumb shit to make everyone happy in a heartbeat. So, that idea made me push a few more years. Later on, the crippling shit came crawling back again to my head, sooooooo I needed new shit to keep me distracted again. Films, series, music, and short clips from YouTube helped me out a lot. Every single time that my mind is going to think like anything that can think of, even to the point that I was just going to think that I might be hungry, I'd watch something. There's just something about silence for me. Because of this new habit of mine, I've learned more about myself. I love different types of things. I like horror. I like thriller. I like comedy. I like romance. I love all types of films, but there is something about the horror genre that interests me. I still can't point out what, but I love watching horror films. With regards to music, I've learned that I love Indie, Punk Rock, Rap, and Pop. We all can't like a specific genre. It's stupid to ask "what genre of music do you like?". It's not actually stupid-stupid, it's just stupid. Ya know? Anyway, passing this phase, I needed to find something again because it's not doing the shit that it was supposed to, I tried investing more time on video games. By investing more, I mean a whole shit lot. I love video games since I was young cuz.... u know.... they keep u... try to guess it! oh yeah. you got that right! distracted! I love the aggressive plays and trashtalks that my friends and I make. The short stories we tell one another. The rants. The lame jokes. The late night we sound drunk but we are not drunk jokes. The roleplays. The lame jokes. The memes. And once again, The lame jokes. Something about lame jokes and the laughs and curses after that always gets me every single time. Oh shoot. Yup Yup. Few years later, I finally noticed the pattern that my sadness is temporary. I got over it one way or the other (or another. depends on how you wanna read it. i dont wanna say another cause i might write about one direction like what im doing now so-). Happiness is temporary as well. But, we are the ones who are actually in control of our emotions. If you wanna feel sad, be sad for a while. You're getting too sad? Try hanging out with your funny friends. Can't do that? Find an alternative. Watch a movie, knit a sweater. Anything your mind could think of as long as it will keep you mentally distracted from being physically and mentally hurt. I do have a few notes though. We cannot and should never assume what people are going through. It may be petty for you, but it may be very crucial to them. So never everrrr say things like: -Some people have it worse than you -At least you have ..... These sheetsss are annoying as heckkk and could really down someone. I know it is not your intention to annoy but people react differently. alsooooooo, it is not okay or normal to hate on things for bandwagon. that is just plainly crazy and stupid. let people enjoy things. anddddddd never suppress your emotions. admit what you feel inside and try to think of a way to resolve ittttt. keeping it to yourself will just make it worseeeeee. find your own outlettttttttt. hihihi ️ alsooooo. being more spiritually full with God's words and ideas really help me to be spiritually happy. ps. im christian but i dont discredit other religion and even applaud other religion's ideas and beliefs. this is a really long, selfish post so i might as well recommend some things I like : Songs with their lyrics that made me go through life. “I’ve got soul but I’m not a soldier” -All These Things That I've Done, The Killers “It's not too late, I'm still right here” -Breaking Your Own Heart, Kelly Clarkson "And the salt in my wounds / Isn't burning any more than it used to / It's not that I don't feel the pain / It's just I'm not afraid of hurting anymore / And the blood in these veins / Isn't pumping any less than it ever has / And that's the hope I have / The only thing I know that's keeping me alive" -Last Hope, Paramore “There is not a single word in the whole world / That could describe the hurt / The dullest knife just sawing back and forth / And ripping through the softest skin there ever was / How were you to know?” -Hate to See Your Heartbreak, Paramore "It's holding on, though the road's long / And seeing light in the darkest things And when you stare at your reflection / Finally knowing who it is / I know that you'll thank God you did" -1800, Logic "Did some things you can't speak of / But at night you live it all again / You wouldn't be shattered on the floor now / If only you had seen what you know now then" -Innocent, Taylor Swift (My bb) "10 months sober, I must admit / Just because you're clean don't mean you don't miss it / 10 months older, I won't give in / Now that I'm clean I'm never gonna risk it // Rain came pouring down when I was drowning / That's when I could finally breathe / And by morning gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean" -Clean, Taylor Swift “I guess I always knew / That I had all the strength to make it through.” -Believe in Me, Demi Lovato "I'm addicted to the madness / I'm a daughter of the sadness / I've been here too many times before / Been abandoned and I'm scared now / I can't handle another fallout / I am fragile, just washed upon the shore / They forget me, don't see me / When they love me, they leave me" -I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me, Demi Lovato “I'm overwhelmed / I need a voice to echo / I need a light to take me home / I need a star to follow / I don't know” -Nightingale, Demi Lovato "I'm a walking travesty / But I'm smiling at everything. // Arrogant boy, Love yourself so no one has to." -Therapy, All Time Low "I tried it once before but I didn't get too far / I felt a lot of pain but it didn't stop my heart. / But maybe I'm alive 'cause I didn't really wanna die / But nothing very special ever happens in my life / Take the blade away from me I am a freak, I am afraid that / All the blood escaping me won't end the pain / And I'll be haunting all the lives that cared for me / I died to be the white ghost / Of the man that I was meant to be" -Ghost, Badflower "Are the pieces of you / In the pieces of me? / I'm just so scared / You're who I'll be / When I erupt / Just like you do / They look at me / Like I look at you" -DNA, Lia Marie Johnson Movies and series to try : -The Perks of Being a Wallflower (The book is bomb af. if yall havent tried, ur missing out) -The Kings of Summer -Never Let Me Go -The Art of Getting By -Silver Linings Playbook -Winter’s Bone -The Lovely Bones (The script. The words) -Me and Earl and the Dying Girl -American Horror Story -Black Swan

pps. remember that every one has their own pace and point of view. don’t push yourself too hard, and don’t overthink. give yourself time, and respect all your emotions. analyze them but not more than like 5 minutes as anything beyond that might cause you to overthink and be sadder. and sad is not rad. hehe. you got this. you got you. self love is the best even though it can be tricky to do. nobody else is like you. you’re the only one of you (i just remembered me.......... i might have hummed it while typing it mid sentence). consider other people’s opinion but do not let it cloud your own judgement as you know yourself best. dont let other comment’s define you. spread love. vibe people you vibe with. ayeeee lets go!!! 

ppps this is my last post bc im happier now and know myself better. i no longer limit myself on the age that I want. I want to live as long as how God wants me to be. hehe. 

x :D

[janellion]

more bokay things!!!! what do ur mornings look like together? like once yall move in tgt 😌😌 ughh cute domestic bokay fluff kjaajja (also i loVE reading ur bokay stuff its so sweet ✨😌💕 so dont be afraid to post more!! srsly thats some good stuff right there 🥰😳)

omg anon bb hi!!! you have me so so soft w this wow 🥺✨ firstly i wanted to ask if you wanted an emoji? if not it’s totally fine but i’d love to make a special tag for you!! 🥰 also second of all IM CRY 🥺😭 it makes me so so happy that you enjoy the bokay content 🥺✨💗 i will definitely keep that in mind bc ive kinda been trying to limit it, thank you so so much for saying that!! and thank you so so much for sending this in!!

mornings with bokay

bo wakes up early in the morning, not so much out of choice but out of commitment to his workout schedule. he’s tried and tried to get me to go with him in the mornings, but my sleep schedule operates about 5 hours too late for that, so i need to sleep in

he gets up quietly, making sure to turn off his alarm before it can wake me up. he tries to be quiet, but he’s a big guy and often ends up accidentally bumping into the closet door or the bedside table getting up. this always causes him to freeze mid position, eyes wide, as he looks over to see if he’s woken me up

luckily i’m a deep sleeper so he breathes a sigh of relief and continues getting ready. he takes a moment to take in the sight of me in bed, bathed in yellow sunlight, before putting our bulldog (yes it’s canon now hehe) in bed with me and kissing my forehead before heading out

his run lasts about an hour, he always ends up by the beach and takes in the way the morning hits the waves

by the time he gets back, i’m usually up and making some tea for the both of us. he’s always ready for the cup i hand him when he walks in the door, testing the temperature for me (but not before teasing me a TON)

we pick from a pretty expansive variety of cereal for our breakfasts, usually switching it up every day, but we end up eating half of each other’s anyways

while he showers off from his run, i get ready for the day, and we chat about anything and everything (“hey want to hear about the cool rock i found at the beach” “OF COURSE!! did you bring it back??” “babe you KNOW I DID go check my pockets for it!”)

eventually we’re both ready, and set off for our days, but not before he picks me up, spins me in the doorway, and we exchange two kisses (so it’s even and fair ofc!)

he texts me when he gets to work or practice and i make sure to send back a funny meme or picture. we have each other listed as “sunshine” in our phones

+++

i hope this was fun to read bb!! i love writing it so i’m so so happy you enjoy it 🥺💗 sending you lots of love!! (also i’m always open to bokay asks hehe 🥰✨)

[jawnjendes]

don’t want your hand this time | shawn mendes

chapter 1/?, university au, shawn x goth oc

AN: i know i know i posted a thing yesterday but UUUHHHHH im just tryna get to the saucy parts of this bc SOMEBODY decided to be all hot n sexy in a certain music video ANYWAY this is just an intro chapter of sorts and we are introducing some new characters!! lmk your thoughts thots!

***let me know if u wanna be added/removed from the taglist

masterlist | playlist coming soon

When Annalise Flores has shit to do within a time limit, she forgets about everything else. Her phone goes on silent, she ignores her other obligations, and she makes sure to get whatever is in her focus done. This has proven to be disastrous in the past, like when Annalise just needed to clean the entire dorm before starting any homework assignment was due the next day. Or when she reorganized the filing closet at the dealership before adding up the gas receipts she was ordered to do. You get the idea.

Annalise was very determined to get all of her unopened boxes, and her clothes to fit in her tiny, beat up car so she didn't have to make multiple trips, given how far campus is from Shawn's apartment. He promised he would help her move when he got home, he had that huge Jeep after all, but Annalise was way too antsy. Besides, they already fought about this, and she didn't want to start anything all over again. She didn't want him to feel obligated to help if only one of them was into the idea of her moving out.

After pushing on the car door three times, it finally clicked shut. Annalise successfully managed to stuff all of her clothes and half her boxes into the backseat. The rest of the boxes were in the trunk. The windows were all covered, so maybe she wouldn't be able to see her blind spots, but at least Annalise wouldn't have to make a second trip. She silently thanked the Tetris gods for blessing her with the appropriate skills as she went back up to the apartment.

Shawn's living space didn't look that different with all of Annalise's belongings out. Most of it was all stashed into the "recording" room over the summer, and neither of them spent any time in there. There was more space in the closet now, too. It was no longer just a black abyss, and all of Shawn's belongings were now undisturbed. Annalise debated smuggling out his black Nike hoodie, but given the circumstances it was best to leave everything as it was. The apartment didn't look any different really, but Annalise still felt an ache from her throat down to the bottom of her feet as she removed the spare key from her chain and left it on the glass dining table. This was easier than saying goodbye to him in person.

~

Campus was nowhere near as quiet and lonely as the apartment. Students were running around like headless chickens, trying to locate buildings, schedules, and friends. She already had a key to her dorm, so she parked near her building and carried her backpack and two boxes up the walkway. Annalise's resting bitch face and the clunk of her boots on the ground gave her less of a struggle to push past other students. Weak and fragile as she was these last couple of months, she's still got it.

The dorm building wasn't too far from the last one she lived in, but it was going to be a bitch getting to her classes. Maybe she should invest in a bike… or she should get her shit together and take the bus.

Annalise's new dorm was on the third floor, and it was furnished. Weird, yes, but she was not going to complain. It was a bit smaller, but not cramped. There was a tiny hallway between the two bedrooms, and one cramped bathroom. She noticed one room already had boxes sitting on the floor, and she couldn't help but get just a little excited. Stella hadn't completely abandoned her. Annalise wasn't even mad about their three month long silence, she was just happy that she would be seeing a familiar face.

She didn't run into Stella at all during the multiple trips she took bringing all her stuff in. Annalise knew she was here, though. Her perfume scent was always left behind in any room she had been in, and Annalise definitely caught the scent in the dorm. The same amount of boxes were still in her room by the time Annalise finished bringing all of her's in. She figured she could have texted Stella, but she kind of wanted to surprise her… even though they both knew about the other.

She checked her phone anyway. The only text she had was from Shawn.

"How come you didn't wait for me?"

Pursing her lips and smudging the signature black lipstick, Annalise cleared the notification and went to sit in the armchair in the living room. She was way too tired to try to reason with him. She certainly couldn’t jump into the "I miss you" crap so quickly either. She didn't want to, but Shawn obviously did when he sent another text. Out of sheer habit, Annalise opened the notification instead of clearing it, and she cursed under her breath.

"You've been gone only a few hours and this place already feels so sad and empty. Why did you leave your key?"

Yeah, she left him on read. She didn't know what else to say to him.

Thankfully, the lock on the door jiggled and in came Stella carrying a large cardboard box. She gasped and her hazel eyes lit up when she saw her dark natured roommate. She quickly squatted down and set the box on the floor before coming at Annalise with open arms.

"Mi esposa hermosa!"

Annalise will never say this out loud, but Stella gives wonderful hugs. They two girls haven't seen each other in over three months, so getting a nice tight hug was something that was really needed. They rocked from side to side, giggling at the motions. It was like nothing had really changed.

"When did I become your wife?" Annalise asked, amused as she leaned back to look at her.

"When we decided to live together for the third year in a row!" Stella replied. “Oh you got a little…” Her thumb rubbed under Annalise’s lip, showing her the black.

“The struggles of being goth,” she joked.

Stella giggled, and then the rambling began. "How are you? I'm so sorry we didn't talk much over the summer. Did you stay with Shawn the whole summer? Oh, is he here?" She bounced on her feet, looking around the dorm.

"Uh yeah, I did stay with him the entire time," she told her. "And no, he's not here. He's working."

Annalise knew he wasn't. He had found her abandoned key, which meant he was home. And he was probably sulking. And he was going to sleep alone...

"But he'll be here later, right?" Stella asked, nudging her arm. "Y'all are gonna christen your room, eh?"

She really had to ask, didn't she? She really had to jokingly ask a question that would change the expression on Annalise's face, thus warning her of the things that had happened. She wasn't sure why she kept an obviously fake smile on her face as she silently stared at her roommate. The silence alone wasn't enough, apparently.

Normally, Stella would dramatically gasp, sit her down, and ask Annalise to spill every detail. Instead, she sighed.

"Fill me in while you help me bring my stuff up."

~

Classes and club meetings resumed within the next couple of days, so it gave Annalise plenty of excuses to keep her texts to Shawn dismissive and short. She knew he was coming and going from campus for class too, but due to their different majors, he was going to be very far away from her. Not to mention, he didn't know where her new dorm was located, so it wasn't like he could track her down.

Except… Annalise had to retake biology. She knew Shawn was at the science building quite often, and she had hoped her bio lab fell on a day that he was at the fine arts building. But you know, life just happens, and sometimes you see your mans between classes. Sometimes you just see him leaving classroom, towering over the other students because he’s a giant. Maybe you’ll see him with a very short girl at his side, and they’re both laughing at something. Maybe he won’t see you either because he’s balls deep in banter with this random girl.

There was a lump in Annalise’s stomach following that minor event, and it made her anxious and uneasy for the first day of that class. Still, she was determined to stay on board with the separation they both agreed on. It was better that way for now. She didn't know about Shawn, but Annalise fully intended on keeping the distance, suspicious-looking friends be damned.

Anyway, she could find friends of her own too. Gaming club meetings started up again that Friday, and it was something to look forward to. After god knows how long, Annalise attended said meeting after receiving an email from the head of the club, Josh. He and his friend, Paul, ran the club most of the time. They managed to get plenty of people to sign up during the rush earlier in the week but only seven of them actually attended the first meeting. Just like every year.

Both Josh and Paul were scrawny blond boys with "nice guy" complexes. They were polite for the most part, given that they inducted Annalise into the club the moment she signed up. But they also quizzed her on just about every popular, mainstream video game there was once they realized she would actually be showing up to the meetings. It took time, and a bit of Annalise telling them off, but they were civil towards each other now.

"Annalise!" called Chad as the lady herself entered the classroom in the communications building. He was another member, and he had his two frat bros with him, Kyle and Jared, and they both chanted her name in their deep, manly voices.

All different heights, but same amount of insane muscle. For lack of better words, these guys were meatheads with good intentions. Chad was a student with one of the highest GPA on campus, practically competing with Josh. Kyle was the star student in his major, sports medicine. Jared was that guy who beat up bigots as a hobby. All three of them were fully dedicated to their fraternity, Sigma Chi.

Then there was Patrick, who nodded to Annalise as a greeting. She nodded back and took the empty seat next to him in the circle.

The people who think Annalise Flores is a complete hardcore goth have not met Patrick Markowski. This was a guy who was always decked out in leather, ripped jeans, and black eyeliner. He had a proper faux hawk, which is what made people notice him the most. He typically surrounded himself with other goths, unlike Annalise. He was truly dedicated to the lifestyle, while she deviated from even that sometimes. This was the only guy in the club Annalise was actually friends with.

Anyway, all seven of these nerds shared the same appreciation for video games, which brought them all together in a circle, in an empty classroom, in the communications building this evening. However, Annalise's entrance caused the guys to deviate from the main topic.

Josh and Paul had been staring at her with their mouths open the second she entered the room. The Frats were visibly excited and each gave her a high five. Patrick merely stayed quiet and smiled.

"Heard you almost fucking died!" Chad told her. "And you didn't tell a single one of us!"

"I thought you had actually died," Josh spoke up. "Since you never miss a meeting and all."

So that got around. Cool.

“I wasn’t dying,” Annalise said, rolling her eyes. “I just had part of my colon surgically removed.”

“No way…” Jared said in wonder.

“Oh, that’s disgusting,” said Paul with a gag. He brought the collar of his red Pizza Planet shirt over his mouth.

The Frats stared at Annalise in awe, almost impressed by her vague explanation. She really didn’t understand the fascination, given everything that happened during and after the hospital. Of course, they knew nothing about any of that. At the same time, Annalise was annoyed at Paul’s dramatic reaction, so she kept talking.

“It might happen to you too if you don’t take care of yourself and listen to your body,” she told him. “Or worse, you could end up with a bag of your poop attached to your belly.”

Paul gagged again, much louder this time. Then Annalise decided that that was enough and directed the conversation to the club’s main topic: video games.

“So who’s played Team Sonic Racing?”

It was only the first meeting, so the group made a plan to bring their Switches and play next time. The Nice Guys prompted to play a round of Fortnite online later, but Annalise was not up for that game in the slightest. Too mainstream. Too chaotic. She never could get into it.

“Well, we can play without you,” Paul suggested, “not everyone has to join in.”

“Isn’t that a rule, though?” Patrick asked pointedly. “If we’re gonna play something together, we all have to agree on one game. Besides, I don’t play Fortnite either.”

Paul's eyes darted around, trying to look for a counterargument, but he sighed. “Fine. Anyone else got any suggestions?”

“What about a D&D campaign?” Annalise said. “Or some type of board game?”

Josh scoffed. “It’s video game club. Besides, me and Paul already have a campaign with our other friends.”

“‘Course you do,” she mumbled, folding her arms.

“Ooo! I got an idea!” Kyle spoke up, raising his massive hand. “We should hit up Bart. That bar with the art and retro games?”

Annalise perked up. Finally, someone with a brain cell. “I participated in a Smash Bros tournament there. It’s really fun, we should all go one weekend.”

“A bar?” Josh said in distaste.

“Yeah! It’ll be a class field trip or something!” Chad agreed. “It’s awesome, bro! They got a Gamecube and an N64! Sometimes they do karaoke night, but only with songs from different games!”

Then, Kyle looked at Annalise with a smirk. “Bet your boyfriend would perform there, eh?”

Even when she was far away from him, Shawn still had a presence wherever she went. “Heh, maybe…”

Luckily, none of these guys were the type to hover. The subject went back to going to Bart one weekend, and then the group chat was revived to discuss further adventures. Once the meeting was adjourned, Patrick followed me out the door.

“So, Annie. No offense or anything,” he said, walking in step beside her as they walked down the corridor, “but what the fuck is wrong with you?”

“My summer was great, thanks,” Annalise said, too busy glancing at her phone to cringe at that awful nickname. No new messages for once.

“Nah, seriously. You were in the fucking hospital, and I find out through Snapchat?” he asked seriously. “Did you even tell anybody? What the hell happened?”

She didn’t remember posting anything about her hospital stay anywhere on social media. However, the only two people who were there with her were social media freaks. Stella was the type to tweet every single one of her brain farts, and frequently Snap where she was every second. Shawn was less active on his platforms, but he was still quite popular in the Toronto area, so he had a sizeable following. Annalise knew he took a picture of his hand holding hers while she was in the hospital at least once. Maybe it made it to his Instagram story a couple of times.

Sighing, Annalise gave Patrick the gist of her exciting adventure with her large intestine. Some underlying guilt wanted to be felt as she recalled staying and Shawn’s for so long, but she decided to spare those details.

“Looked death in the face, eh?” he said, nodding in what looked like approval. “Badass.”

She chuckled. “Guess I wasn’t ready to be yeeted off this mortal coil.”

“Ugh, you use the word yeet? How much has that guy changed you?” Patrick stuck his tongue out at her, flashing the piercing he had on the muscle.

“Hey, I’m more down with the kids than he is.”

The pair were quiet as they made it out to the courtyard. The night was chilly and cloudy, the only light coming from the lampposts on either side of the walkway. It felt different knowing Annalise was with only a friend rather than her mans, and she tried to ignore the ache in her chest and the urge to talk about him.

“Do you remember what it was like?” Patrick asked after a minute. “Being so close to death?”

“Nope,” she replied simply. “Although, when I was under, I had a really vivid dream that my… uh, Shawn cheated on me.” Way to not talk about him.

“You sure it was a dream?”

They were passing by one of the picnic tables, where Patrick pointed to. There was a group of people standing around the table, and two people sitting on top of it. One of those people was Shawn with his acoustic guitar. He was singing with the girl who was sitting next to him, the same one he was walking with at the science building. It wouldn’t have seemed weird if Patrick hadn’t said what he said. It would have been left alone if Annalise hadn’t thought about that stupid fever dream.

“Come on,” she said to Patrick as she stalked off towards the group.

“I was joking!” he said with a laugh.

Still, Annalise walked with a purpose and he followed her. She clutched the strap of her shoulder bag and kept her chin up as she made herself apart of the tiny audience. It was quite the sight, two nerds decked out in all black and heavy eyeliner amongst a group of normals watching two other normals sing a pop song. No lie, Annalise just wanted to get a look at this girl she had never seen before.

Olive skin. Black, curly hair. Very short next to her guy. Very pretty voice coming out of very pretty lips. She looked at Shawn and he looked back at her as they sang an eerily familiar song. Musically speaking, they seemed good together.

“I’ll leave you with the memory, and the aftertaste…”

The tiny audience clapped. Patrick was nodding in pleasant surprise, probably having never heard Shawn’s songs before. Annalise applauded as well, but she couldn’t help the narrowing of her eyes as she watched Shawn and this girl high five each other.

They were both comfortable with all the attention, it was easy to see. Shawn was beaming in a way that hadn’t been seen in a long time, and then he laid eyes on Annalise. He still had that smile on his face, even though it faltered a little bit. She kept her face neutral and quirked her eyebrows at him as a silent greeting.

“Should I leave you guys alone?” asked Patrick as he and Annalise watched Shawn get down from the table top.

“No,” she replied simply.

She almost regretted having him stay. He had to witness Shawn and Annalise attempt to figure out how to greet each other. A side hug would have been awkward for reasons not only having to do with the guitar strapped to his shoulder. She definitely couldn’t kiss him, because that would have started something she had been trying to distance herself from. They finally settled for a mildly uncomfortable handshake, and Shawn kept holding her hand as he spoke.

It had been almost a week since Ann moved out, and she only sent him one text in that time span. It was the black heart emoji. Better than nothing, but not better than seeing her in person.

“You haven’t answered my texts,” Shawn told her. If she was going to decide when she'll give him attention, then he wasn't going to beat around the bush when he saw her.

“I’ve been busy,” Ann replied, feebly attempting to shake her hand away.

Shawn nodded, but he wasn't thoroughly convinced. Between work and school, Ann was a hermit. Or so he thought, given that she now had this new goth dude at her side. “So, who’s your friend?”

“Who’s yours?” she quickly said back.

“I’m Patrick!” said Patrick, holding out his hand. “Annie and I go way back!”

Shawn let go of her hand to shake his. “Nice to meet you, brother. Wait… Annie?” He chuckled.

Her cheeks heated up, and she decided to move her eyes somewhere else, specifically on Shawn’s unnamed singing partner. She was chatting with some of the other people still around the table. Annalise noticed she talked with her hands a lot.

“She lets me call her that even though she hates it,” Patrick said, snapping her back into the moment. “Right, Annie?”

“Do not,” she warned. Then she looked at Shawn. “So who’s the chick you’re singing with?”

Shawn took in an almost reluctant deep breath as he turned and called the girl over. If there was anything he had yet to discover, it had to be if his girl was the jealous type.

Annalise's dark brown eyes narrowed once again while he wasn’t looking. Call it anxiety or paranoia, but she was oddly suspicious. Patrick caught the glare though, and he nudged her arm to snap her out of it.

“Ann, Patrick, this is Alessia,” Shawn said when the very short girl joined them. “She’s a first year. Alessia, this is my…” He elongated the vowel. “Annalise. And her friend Patrick.”

Okay, so… a sinking feeling in the tummy. That’s what that felt like. Couldn’t be mad, though. Annalise wasn’t so quick to use the boyfriend word these days.

“You’re Annalise!” Alessia said in pleasant surprise. She did not hesitate to hug her, arms going around her shoulders and practically pulling her down to her level. “It’s so nice to meet you! I’ve heard so much about you!”

Honestly, Annalise was just glad she didn’t call her the goth girlfriend. Or the goth anything, for that matter. She didn’t hug Patrick, though, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“So, how did you two meet?” Annalise prompted. So maybe she was a little more than curious to know how and when Shawn found the time to get another girl at his side.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Shawn replied a little too quickly.

His eyes bored into hers, throwing them into a staredown. He broke through the fake, polite smile Ann had on. Of course he broke it. He was the only one who could. However, Shawn couldn't read the expression she had on. He couldn't tell if she was upset or not, happy or not… He couldn't tell if she wanted to change her mind about this separation or not… Ten months together and Ann was still a mystery.

“Uh, Shawn and I have like, every class together,” Alessia said slowly, looking between the couple, noticing the sudden change in atmosphere. She scratched the back of her head.

“Annie and I have been in the same club for two years,” Patrick added in the same tone. He too noticed the tension.

“Oh, which club? There’s some I’ve been checking out…”

Those two kept up the conversation. Shawn’s gaze on Annalise made her throat close up. He wasn’t smiling or feigning politeness anymore. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were hard and glossed over. Inexplicable guilt began to form in her chest yet again. She knew he didn’t understand.

_______

taglist: @normalcyisoverrated-beyou @ilsolee @mendesromano @1-800-khalid-mendussy @kitykatnumber @strangerliaa @iloveshawnieboi @poppyshawn @shawnsunflower @shawnvvmendes @yourdelightfullyleft @shawmndes @havethetimeeofyourlifee @calyumthomas

[strawberryybird]

So whats your favorite thing about each of your fe3h favs? Anything you could just go on a long rant about for any of them? or interactions between them that you wish had happened or wanted to happen.

Waking up in the morning and going through all of the drunk blogging and “-thank-u-for-weathering-my-deep-need-to-be-liked-and-given-attention-off-main-I-guess” if this isn’t a whole mood on its own I don’t know what is. Anyways it sounds like you had fun and it was definetly fun reading everything. I hope you are feeling okay the day after everything. And to tack on a random question which fe3h character would you want to get drunk with if it was just the two of you?

Hi Hello!! thank u for enjoying my drunk blogging !!! and for the asks!!! (and the lovely comments on my fics actually hi there ur wonderful!!!) i’m currently cursing the damage i’ve done to my sleep schedule and suffering under my (truly deserved) hangover lmao ;p apologies u don’t get drunk me, only uncaffeinated hangover me, but we talk to the same degree and make the same spelling errors lol

ah yes.. im a fountain of moods (all of u still with me here are saints hhhh)

ok content time:

the second one first: i absolutely want to get drunk with ferdinand von aegir. the man’s a hop, skip and a vodka shot away from a mess. i love him. he’d be full of conversation and would buy the rounds every time as a true nobleman should !! he’d probably be really good at instigating drinking games but horrible at playing them.. i love party gay ferdie von aegir.

i’m going to LIMIT the faves i list because truly i love them all very much but i have to at least pretend i have some restraint and i don’t want to make this even More of a wall of text it’s going to become . SO 

edit: ok i started writing this at like. half ten pm. when the fuck did it become monday. 

edit edit: Disclaimer time: these are my conclusions and my conclusions alone. I’m not saying I’m objectively right or correct. I’m very much approaching this from an English Lit-ish point of view because that’s just how I look at a lot of media. I’m not asserting my opinions or conclusions as the only viable to interpret this media, and if anything I say offends you then I am sorry, it was not my intention but I acknowledge that I have hurt you. This is not the exhaustive list of my thoughts on the whole thing, there’s a lot more depth and detail I didn’t go in to.

My favourite thing about Edelgard is the Everything, but notably I really love her proud nature and how in VW it quite directly gets her *spoilered*, and in CF it’s integral to her success (bc it’s her own rigidity within herself that keeps her standing i think) and I Like Tragic Characters (and it’s very elinor dashwood). because it’s one of the qualities that can throw her character into a villainous light & it’s really interesting !! but at the same time.. it’s not quite ‘pride’ purely, and it’s kinda the wrong word. it’s some mixture of determined/stubbon, anger, self-reliance, and that really hard veneer of personality u develop when you’re around people who aren’t healthy for you to be around, and the very very critical need to be right about the choices you made because the weight of the  consequences would kinda ruin you if you weren’t. (the dean winchester effect huh) and wrap that up together with a big scoop of ‘i believe my way is right’ (’and my way Has to be right’) and then u get a lot of what i LOVE about Edelgard’s character

My favourite thing about Dorothea is really how she was the character that Hated the war. genuinely the contrast between white clouds dorothea & timeskip dorothea Breaks My Heart EVery Time I See Her !!!!! that and Spoilers!!! (her last words in AM unrecruited is edelgards name and i literally had to stop and cry about it for five minutes.) she’s one of the characters that post-war doesn’t have a Massive political stake in the war - like there’s her anger towards the current class system (another reason i bloody love her PLEASE give me angry feminine characters) but i think it’s her bonds with edie (or byleth&whoever if recruited) that keep her actually fighting in the war & it’s kinda different and i like that (actually i think she parallels/sends up/contrasts really really nicely with mercedes in that way)

my favourite thing about Marianne is just everything. how she finds worth within herself if you play VW (and the very very harrowing hc that she didn’t if you don’t), how she’s full of a quiet rage for the crest system but you eek it out of her as you play the game. how she’s still loved by the deers despite her appalling mental health (fight me on that canon) and the game essentially has her ‘save’ herself by finding worth and life within herself. i love her so much ok. (i also love her because she committed identity theft.. she and i share a name with the second dashwood sister oho (but i don’t use that name on the internet hhh) (also because my favourite shakespeare play is king lear (no really it is), my birthday is in red wolf moon too, i used to have very long hair i wore in a plait most days for school, little 11 and 17 year old me acted Exactly like white clouds marianne did & genuinely i love marianne von edmund to pieces but God it hurts to see her in game sometimes bc her journey mirrors a lot of mine & i love this character. so much.) WOW that was a lot. am i sure im not still drunk

so claude is not only one of my favourite characters in the whole damn game, but also shares the name of one of my favourite painters so i simply have to love him ;p however i can’t give a proper opinion on him yet because i haven’t finished playing deers yet :( but !! i love how (as is with all the lords) he has a veneer of personality to him, but in contrast to Edie where it’s quite seemless with her actual personality, Claude’s veneer of personality seems very opaque and plastered on. i may or may not just be wildly imagining things but he’s a very different personality in his lower supports with Lysithea than he is in his B support with Marianne, for instance. like, i love characters that are obviously a lot more socially intelligent than i could ever be, and claude is *chef kiss* BEAUTIFUL ON EVERY LEVEL.

i’d wax lyrical about Ingrid too but honestly there’s many better people out there with the good ingrid content than i could do. shortly, i love the New Take on the pegasus knight archetype she brings, and i really like her perspective on femininity !!! she’s such a good character & she brings so much to the game and to the pegasus knight character too!!!!! she’s such a bright personality and altho i wish so many of her supports weren’t centred around make-up (hhh dorogrid fans i pray for you), i think she’s really going to pave the way for whoever’s next in that character slot. (like, you can’t tell me she’s not an offshoot of Phila from awakening lmao)

no ok i’m adding in Hubert because i love this vampire man. i really really love the devoted servant archetype and we all know i love edelgard’s tragedy. and i love hubert. so much. the way he enables edelgard in pretty much everything is just so so interesting to think about, and i love his intensity about it. he’s like the ever present reminder that edelgard’s will kinda has to work otherwise the potential consequences of her being wrong are personified in hubert imo. it’s only touched on in VW in his letter but like. god i wish we got more but it’s a wonderful starting block. i love his comic relief as well, he’s such a fun character to have !!!! and also i have so many hubert fics in my bookmarks that just Get him. i love hubert. oh i love hubert.

i’m going to cut myself off there because . that’s just a LOT. 

as for characters i would sell a limb to have them talk to each other, honestly it’s Edelgard/Marianne. (and only 51% because of all the projection i have going on with those two ok don’t at me i  k n o w). that support chain would be too powerful and honestly i wish they had one becuauese it would have gone so Hard about what Edelgard was doing and what Marianne thought about it, and how they connected over it & they probably would have had their supports set over cups of tea or smth .. it would have been amazing. 

(but i’d rather have nothing than an awakening-level-content support where they talk about eating fucking bear meat instead of talking about how they grew to trust each other with and their ability to save the fate of the world HUH AWAKENING. (i’m salty about fredrobin forever)

also hilda/dorothea supports . we were robbed. they’re best friends and you can’t actually tell me otherwise. they run the disaster bi chat of garreg mach. honestly i just would Love a support chain for them that starts with them talking about self care routines and something really small like accessories or perfume and it goes into how self-esteem and how dorothea has to find the same worth in herself as hilda so easily can. (hilda’s the queen of self esteem she’s a babe) and in CF they could have dialogue and then we cry about it. and in SS they talk about how they both chose their place with Byleth and not at edie/claude’s side like i’m just free balling here it could be Anything and i’d love it. 

also big shocker .. dorothea/marianne supports . they both hate themselves in their profile CAN THEY PLEASE CHAT. 

also i accidentally fell in love with the claude/edelgard ship and i desperately need them to interact on the same level that edie and dimitri get to because.. aren’t there supposed to be three main characters huh intsys .. and like i get what the game goes for with two of the lords embroiled in a personal war against each other at the heart and the third actually finding something close to the truth because he’s not involved in age old grudge matches but at the same time That’s one of the things that really really falls flat for me in the game. dimitri’s villain is edie, edie’s villain is big dragon wife, claude’s villain is the lack of communication that everyone in fodlan suffers from apparently. lack of communication and lies. ymmv with what im saying rn but i would have preferred if all three lords had strong personal ties to each other and in Each Route it was brought up. or just snip dimitri’s dialogue out of CF because i have beef with how that WHOLE moment went down on so many accounts hhhh honestly it makes me angerey to think about lol

.. back on topic- can the lords pls talk to each other because it would be SO interesting in white clouds and i like seeing how their personality presentations clash

also . can i marry manuela yet. my crops are dying here.

.. im so sorry about this but it’s midnight and i’m too tired to edit so. have this. thank you so much for the questions!!!! very kind (and brave) of you to ask me!!!!! i had a lot of fun writing all of this & as always if anything you didn’t quite /get/ i’m happy to re-explain myself!! :)

[queenangst]

advice for high school??

advice for high school:

put yourself out there. i know high school is big and scary, but it's new. you're going to know people who you've seen all your life and people who you have never met before, probably. don't be afraid. sit next to someone new in chemistry and... bond. ask to squeeze in a lunch spot. smile at your teachers, say hello. join clubs. it's 2-4 years of your life, so find your people.

stop thinking about the numbers. this is one of the hardest things when you're surrounded by a pressured environment from all sides - teachers, students, parents. but let me tell you that you have to learn when to care and when to not. which times to fight and which times to let go. you might get your first 35 on a test. you might be ranked far behind your other classmates. not every homework has to be done well, just done at all. not every grade has to be an A, because in the end higher academic institutions care less than you think and not every "bad" grade is the end of the world. and if you don't do so hot on something, feel a little bad and then keep going. no use in dwelling, just do better next time. (sometimes just give up. don't do an assignment. take the 0. sometimes you need the time, or the break, and it's not worth doing.)

freedom. high school is the first taste of bigger opportunities in learning. choose classes you might have an interest in over what will boost your gpa or whatever. take art, take music, something creative, even if you are a stem student through and through, you don't have to do well but this will enrich your life and give your brain something different that isn't numbers or grammar or whatever. and creativity fosters community.

communicate with your teachers. some teachers accept nothing late ever period. some teachers procrastinate. actually a lot of teachers procrastinate they're really just like you. whatever the case talk to them. if you're having trouble understanding high school teachers often have some form of out of class tutoring/tutorials before, after, and even during school (such as at lunch). if you are sick, if you want them to look over a paper, if you need an extra day to finish your project and make it good, talk to your teachers. they want you to succeed. they cannot always be lenient for personal or academic reasons, but they will understand. and them knowing is better than them not.

get sleep. i mean it. 6 hours at least. 7 is good. 8+ is best. if you can't, at least sleep for some amount of time even if it's 30 minutes. if you can't sleep, still lie down for a bit in the dark and let your body rest even if your mind won't shut off. you will thank yourself in the morning.

do your damn homework. just do it. there's a lot, some of it is useless, but a lot of it is not. homework is meant to help you retain the info that you learned in class, or even learn more info that you will not cover in class.

on top of #6, read the textbook and listen in class. sometimes it's boring. just do it. you don't have to take notes but they definitely help, and notes never have to be pretty they just have to be legible to you. it can be bullet points. it can be diagrams. it can be a treasure map of weird associations. draw angry faces next to notes about dead historical figures. whatever works for you.

teachers are resources. ask if you can record lectures. see if they have a google classroom or someplace online where they post notes and powerpoints. ask for websites and further reading. ask for HELP.

study a lot, have fun a lot. i know every day is limited and you're going to be tired all the time. i know. i was there. ib was working us to the bone from the moment we went in to the very last exam. but on the weekends and after school, every now and then do something with your friends that isn't going through your math homework together. see a movie. get coffee, or boba, or tea, or whatever the hell y'all drink these days. go to a museum. find free activities. swim. talk to your friends outside of an academic environment and you will be closer and dearer. and you will not regret it.

you're allowed to disagree with your authority figures. so parents/guardians/teachers. don't overstep your boundaries but as you learn and grow there will be times that they are wrong and you are right. in many different situations... but most especially about you yourself, a person.

reach out. talk to someone when you're hurt. theres going to be a lot of new experiences in high school and some of them will be bad. please talk to your friends. your parents if you can. talk to a teacher you trust. sometimes school counselors suck but part of the job, regardless of if they are doing well or not, is listening to you, and it's meant to be confidential. and if you're worried about someone else for gods sake talk to an adult.

you are still a kid. please don't stress too much about matters that are bigger than you and things that are too much for you to control. you are almost an adult but you are not, you are grown up but you are not. do kid things. you don't need to be super strong, or super mature, or act ten years older than you are. you don't need to prove anything.

pursue your interests, and good things will follow. i mean this in every sense. your health. your mind. your attitude. your college applications. (seriously, everyone has done the volunteer hours and everyone has the grades and everyone has what you have. show that you're human.)

be awkward. be weird. there are so many different kinds of people but someone will be like you, and someone will like you. be happy, and others will see it.

don't put your burdens unnecessarily on other people. or yourself. here's the truth: if all you talk about is how bad you are, how you aren't getting anywhere in life, how the numbers aren't good enough, then no one will stick around for long. you will surround yourself in something bad that people don't want to be around. like mentioned, talk to someone. friends are the most comfortable but not always the most appropriate. im not saying to keep your thoughts to yourself, but adults > other emotional, struggling, hormonal teenagers in terms of being equipped to handle tough situations. people want to help! but when all you talk about is yourself and your trouble, and not listen to other people, talk about things that make you happy... you're going to lose something.

college is a big deal but also not. please don't worry about it until junior and senior year.

failure is inevitable. take it.

surround yourself with people who are better than you, and who you like, and who like you. surround yourself with people who you aspire to be similar to. you will do better and you will want to do better.

keep organized. good god. please do not be like that one guy in my math class. one day my classmate and i got so fed up we cleaned out his backpack for him and shoved things into folders and begged him to stay organized. folders. binders. accordian folders. just use something im pleading you. it's going to be 2 minutes before class and you realize you can't find your homework or turn in a wrinkled, stained paper. also keep some sort of schedule and task list or else you will be that guy that goes "wait we have a TEST today?"

halo effect. first impressions are important, even if you can overcome bad ones. show up on time. sit in the front even though it's scary, because midyear you'll realize you have been doing badly because you sat in the back and can't see or hear over the two girls who gossip in front of you. smile. say hello. ask questions. raise your hand. you can be wrong. you can be wrong. you can ask stupid questions.

ask your teachers if you can eat in class. my 4th period teacher (after lunch) was fine with us eating, so id take lunch to study sometimes and eat then. i always ate breakfast during 1st period bc when i got up it was too early for my body to take more than a little. most teachers are okay as long as the smell isn't strong and lasting, and you clean up. have a snack so you don't crash. don't forget to eat either. please eat lunch, and some teachers will give you snacks if you ask, and if you don't have money please just... ask someone for a share or to borrow some cash. it's okay. you need to eat.

there is so much more. school might be all you know. but stop and enjoy life. if you worry about college you're going to spend 4 years looking forward and not enough at the present, and you're going to lose your precious time. there is so much more.

you're going to change. a lot. you will be a completely different person. that's normal. you're gonna be a little embarrassed. like the person you become, and become a person you like. make good choices. be kind. have heart.

enjoy high school, kid. good luck!!! it was honestly a rewarding and wonderful time, and that was in part bc i made it so.

[antistudyblr]

anon asked:

hey there! so from "things i learned during my first year of college" that u posted,it said that you took a double major and i wanna know is it difficult to manage time for study? do u have maybe some advice for those who want to take double major? bc im planning to take a double major next year😊

As someone debating a double major in English and Latinx studies (or a major and a minor: we’ll see), I personally haven’t had too much difficulty in managing my time for studying! Generally, life isn’t too different from someone only majoring in one subject. You just have a make a schedule and do your best to follow it.

Of course, the difficulty of making that schedule highly depends on what majors you’re planning on taking. A double major in English and History tends to be easier than a double major in Statistics and Creative Writing, as there’s more overlap between the fields and you’ll be more likely to be able to double-count classes and, as such, take fewer. But people every day make double majors that have nothing to do with each other work!

If you’re planning on pursuing a double major, remember that you have to consider scheduling on two metrics: study time during the semester during your individual classes and making sure you finish all requirements in order to graduate in 8 semesters (or whatever length you plan to be in school).

semesterly (these apply to basically everyone, regardless of number of majors)

Develop good habits: No matter how many majors you have, make sure you develop and maintain good study habits. You may be taking more classes than some others (maybe not, really it depends) so it becomes more important to get sleep, study for tests and write papers ahead of time, and all that.

Know your limits and stick to them: Set your time to study, your time to do extracurriculars, your time to hang out with friends without stressing and so on and do your best to respect them. Stuff happens, but you need to take care of yourself. 

Don’t overload on one type of class: In my experience, having 3 or 4 writing-intensive classes or labs or math classes all at once can be incredibly stressful because there’s no way to switch gears. Trying to diversify what you’re taking in a given semester by throwing in one of your mandated history classes in with all the science can do wonders.

Don’t overload, period: Especially if double majoring, you might have a heavy semester or two in there while working to get everything done. But if you’re petitioning the credit limit every semester or constantly stressed and not sleeping (no matter how many majors you’re taking tbh), make sure that what you are doing is working for you mentally, physically, financially, and emotionally. You don’t have to double major to be successful and an extra line on your resume isn’t worth working yourself to burnout.

The add/drop period is your friend: Use this to balance your schedule into something you can manage. Get the syllabi and a feel for a class and professor, and decide if that’s going to be manageable combined with everything else you’re doing. If you do drop a class, go back to your master schedule (discussed below) and adjust accordingly.

macro-scheduling (aka making your 4-year plan)

Know the policies: This is everything from how many credits you need to graduate to how many classes you can take a semester. I would suggest reading the websites for both your departments, as well as the registrar’s office, and maybe the advising office in order to answer these questions (at least)

Can I double major at my university?  (If you’re asking, I assume this is a yes, but it’s always a good idea to check) Are there any university-wide rules or limits to double-majoring?

What are the general education requirements that I need to complete aside from my majors?

What is the credit limit/semester? How do I petition to raise the credit limit if I need to? How many credits do I need to graduate?

What are the policies on double-counting classes for the university? For my major departments?

What classes do I need to take to complete these majors? Do I have to take them in a certain sequence? (It’s also a good idea to see if these departments offer minors and what those requirements are, just in case.)

Can I place out of any classes in my major? Gen-eds?

Make a plan and write it down: Jotting down a rough idea of when you plan to take classes is a good idea for anyone going to college but if you’re planning on doing anything like a double major, it’s basically necessary. Lay out your gen eds, your major requirements, classes you want to take for fun and make yourself a schedule that lays out what you should be taking every semester to get out on time. I find using a spreadsheet easiest, because you can easily color-code, calculate how many credits you have toward graduation, and make edits (you will need to make edits). This is mine via Google Sheets:

Be supported by your adviser: You should go in with an understanding of the policies discussed above, because a lot of the time, your adviser won’t be familiar with the specifics. However, they should be willing to help you figure out how to make your schedule work if you’re having trouble or help find answers to remaining questions: giving you people to contact, websites to visit, etc. If they keep trying to talk you out of double majoring or not helping you figure out the best way to go about it, try to switch advisers as soon as possible. You’ll need solid institutional support.

Try to double-count where possible: You don’t want to do more work than necessary. Cut down wherever possible in number of classes you have to take you don’t have to take a summer class or an extra semester.

Be flexible: You might get a great internship or job offer one fall that leaves you unable to take as many classes as you like, or you might have a rough semester that requires you to retake a class. As your schedule changes, you might find it makes more sense to do a major and a minor or take classes over the summer. Be prepared for things to change and take it as it comes.

if you have any further questions, comments, concerns, coup d’etats let me know

[my-autistic-things]

Top Surgery Post Op

Hey guys so this post is old and the original bit is under the keep reading.  I wanted to keep a record for myself mainly, but oh well!  Today is 9-5-18. As a quick update because I didn’t give any other updates since forever ago: 

-I’m still numb

-I still have swelling

-I still wear my binder, but it’s not uncomfortable anymore because there's nothing to smoosh

-My doctor said that I don’t have to wear my binder, but since there is still swelling it would be beneficial if I could continue to wear it

-I don’t wear my binder at night/at home, but when I go out I still always wear my binder just because I feel more comfortable with it on

--I feel better with my binder because 1, pressure stim! 2, I’m not flat.  While I look the same as any other chubby cis guy, I’m still uncomfortable and it will take a really long time for me to get to where I am comfortable to just wear a shirt

-My incision sites have healed to just a little dark pink lines (~1/2 inch) and the drainage tube holes have healed also to dark pink dots (honestly they are way more noticeable than the actual incisions)

Ok that's it!  I might remember to make another update, but probably not for a while.  Below is my recovery from day 0 if anyone is interested.

I wanted to make a super extensive post, but, I didn't. Now I'm going to summarize the key points if my recovery bc I still really want to keep record of it and share a timeline of when things happen.

If you're interested in my top surgery story illustrating the whole day of surgery, here is that post!

Day 0; Thursday, day of surgery:

When I came home from the hospital I just slept. My mom woke me up to take my meds (prescription pain killer and antibiotics) and then I went right back to sleep. I couldn't roll on to my side so sleeping was pretty miserable but I pulled up pillows so I was half sitting up which helped me get comfortable. The drains were super annoying and I was trying to be super careful with my chest, but, I was fine.

Day 1; Friday:

I have no idea what time I woke up or what time I took my naps, but I basically lived off of naps (I didn't sleep longer than 4 ish hours at a time). I didn't have overwhelming pain, but I definitely has surgery. I was nervous when draining the tubes of my drains bc you have to squeese out the tubes. I was scared that I was going to just pull the whole thing out. But I didn't! I think I pulled it a little once on Sunday, but they are about 1 1/2 inches in so it didnt come out at all.

I had my first post op scheduled doctor appointment at 11:00am. I recorded my drainage amount only that first day, then my doctor said I didn't have to again. Just make sure to drain them the night before my next appointment so he can see the amount when I come in to take out the tubes.

That was my first time I got to see my chest post op. Honestly, I looked exactly the same except bruised. There was SO MUCH SWELLING that I had about the same, if not even a little more boob. My doctor assured me that on the table I was completely flat and that everything was just swollen.

I was also cleared to shower! One day post op, and I could shower!

Day 2-4; Saturday-Monday:

I was draining such a small I was so happy. I didn't need to worry about dumping the drains every 12 hours exactly and actually only did it maybe once a day.

The Vicodin pain meds, I figured out, don't work at all on me. I ended up taking the oxycodone I was prescribed by the hospital instead of the Vicodin my doctor prescribed (there was a mix up and I got 2 meds for one surgery). Still, though, the oxy didn't help that much. I mainly was taking it because it made me high to forget the pain/ache and help me just sleep my way through my recovery. I still wasn't even taking it every 4 hours like I could have. Maybe like twice a day, 3 times at the most.

I showered once on Sunday because I felt like I should. I tied a string around my neck and clipped the drains to that so they wouldn't be hanging. It was weird and awkward to shower, but completely doable and having a break from the binder made my pain decrease.

Day 5; Tuesday:

I had my second post-op appointment. I think my drains drained like 1cc of fulid each side at the most. It was so minimal and I was so proud of myself haha. My doctor took the tubes out that day and I FINALLY felt like I was healing. I felt so free oh my God it was one of the most freeing experiences of my life!

Taking the tubes out didn't hurt a single bit. Like at all. I felt 0 pain whatsoever. Again, the tubes we're about 1 1/2 inches in, and there was one stich holding them in place. I was 100% numb around my chest for the most part so I barely felt my doctor's hands as he took the tube out. I heard people say getting the drains removed are sooooo painful, but idk their type of surgery and such so maybe only with lyposuction it doesn't hurt because it kills your nerves for a while?

Day 6-7; Wednesday and Thursday;

I felt so much more comfortable without the drains on. I could move so much more freely and almost all my sharp pain went away and only the dull (ish) ache of feeling like I'd been lyposuction was left. I stopped all the oxy on Wednesday, and only had some ibruprophen Wednesday and Thursday night. After that I was pain med free.

I had a gauze bandage over the drains and I didn't want to deal with changing it so I didn't shower (from Sunday) until Thursday afternoon. I felt like I should do my doctor a favor and showever before my Friday appointment. I showered, then changed my bandage into a bandaid because the holes werent draining anymore, just open.

The hospital medical surgery tape put iver my actual incision looked like it was coming off a bit in the shower and I was worried about that, but I left it alone and let it dry good and it still stuck on like it was never wet.

When I took of my shirt to take off my binder to take a shower. Oh my God! I glanced down slightly and this GIANT purple thing caught my eye. I still had my binder on so I didn't think it could have possibly been a bruise, but it was! It was around my hip (gravity sucked stuff down there) and it was about as big as my hand. With my hand over it, it was about 1/2 an inch shorter than my hand and a little bit wider. It was huge. Purple. And quite impressive. It didn't hurt at all, though, because it was just pooled old blood that was dragged down there instead of actually the place I was hurt.

Day 7; Friday:

I went to my doctor's appointment not knowing what was going to happen next. The drains were out and I didn't think I had stiches in my incision (bc of the tape) so I didn't really know what to expect.

Apparently I did have one stich in my incision, and the tape plus the stich was taken out. I was told not even to put a bandaid on and to take the bandaid off of the drain holes too.

The tape comming off hurt to be completly honest. I'm a baby when it comes to taking off baindaids and tape. I was 90% numb in that area, but it still had that feeling of pulling off sticky stuff like I was ripping my skin off. The stich came out with 0 pain. I was so surprised how thin the thread was. It looked thinner than sewing thread and it was blue which was cute. I finally got to see how big my actual incision was, and it was about 1 inch.

Day 8-13; Saturday to Thursday:

Idk, man, there's not much to say. I'm sure if I did this post and updated day by day I'd have stuff to say, but I don't. I have a fractured/severely bruised rib from the binder being so tight. Well, it's not exactly the binder, but the binder band. It hurts a lot, but I can't do anything about it anyways.

My giant bruise is getting lighter every day and everything is just healing and improving every day.

Day 14; Friday:

That's today! Well, same as the past week. Every day there's less pain and more movement ability. I didnt have much of a limitation of movement even one day post op, but I can still feel a difference. I can comfortably raise my arms above my head now and I was able to bend over to pick stuff up without much chest pain (I got joint and muscle pain anyways so it hurts, but not specifically because of top surgery lol)

I put on my old binder yesterday because the hospital one seems so loose and oh my God! How did I survive?!?! It's so tight! Even 2 weeks post op I'm shocked with how tight of a thing I wore semi comfortably before. To be fair, it was my tighter binder, but it was still not too much tighter than my normal everyday one.

I feel not compressed in my chest and Im worried that the binder isn't squishing my chest down enough. I need to keep my chest flat and squished so when it heals everything will be flat so my skin will shrink down flat instead of being baggy and like empty boobs.

~~~~~~~~

I'll try to keep this updated especially after my next appointment on Tuesday and then when I don't have to wear the binder anymore (in 2 weeks). Plus, if anything exciting happens of course I'll add that! I'll probably edit the post and reblog it so it's all together in one piece so if you see this post reblogged its been updated under the keep reading. Lies lol

[curioscurio]

just saw a post abt coran headcannons and wanted 2 make one :)

yall  think shiro’s space dad but its actually a part time job that he shares with coran

he feed u soup and keeps u worm when ur sick

but when HE’S sick he’ll either work till he’s dying or keep it from everyone. He’ll completely deny he has anything unless it puts the team in danger (ex: lightly poisoned? mamma didn’t raise no pussy. Contagious poison? don’t touch me im sterile) 

sleep is a suggestion to him. Alteans don’t need as much sleep as humans anyway, but coran is constantly awake and ON THE MOVE. basically a cryptid

he’s always around in case any of the paladins have nightmares or insomnia at night or something and makes them sweet root tea or something. :’’-)

eyes and markings glow when super happy or excited (allura too!)

he’s ripped as fuck hes goddamned beefy and when the paladins find out they’re like: ?!?!?!?!

lance: he’s..... thicc

coran has no favorites (lance) but will go the extra mile to make every paladin laugh if they’re feeling down

talks to the lions when repairing them or just hanging around them. he tells them stories and jokes. blue thinks he’s sweet but green nearly falls over laughing bc she thinks he’s so funny. then when he tells a pidge a joke and she doesnt get it he’ll grumble and say smthng like “green would have laughed..”

this guy CAN FLIRT 

seriously, one time they were on a mission and both coran and allura were there for diplomatic reasons and the prince of the alien planet started getting fresh with allura. coran swoops in.gently takes his hands. leads him away from allura looking into his eyes. he’s got the most charming voice and smile ad says something like “ i can see the universe in your eyes” tHE ALIEN IS DEAD HE’S ENDED. 

paladins have memes about him 

“vore me daddy coran” (this is his least favorite)

* pidge goes up to the beefiest alien with the biggest muscles ever* “coran... is that you... how did you get here...”

*lance and keith making out* “you know who’s the best?” “hmm?” “coran” “lance what hte fuck”

they actually love him a lot and when they’re concerned abt him he doesn’t quite get it bc he’s the advisor not a paladin or the princess?? ‘why would you guys worry about me im replacab-” “NO??? FUCK OFF??? YOU’RE THE BEST???”

has TONS of tiny scars on his hands from mechanic work but they’re so fucking smooth and soft like a little baby hand. everytime he takes them off u can hear someone running down the hall “GLOVES OFF” and someone dives to the ground to hold his hand

WANTS TO FIGHT EVERYTHING? 

i mean he’s very diplomacy first and shit but if someones down to fight or threatening the paladins... gloves off. he socks them right in the face and starts a huge fight which he wins. it’s actually a little scary.like he’s all dirty and torn up and wiping blood from his nose with his knuckles and spits on the guy he just pummled. the guy is crying. he turns back to the paladins with a wide grin and and goofy laugh “sore losers am i right ;-)”

allura can beat him in a fair fight and he doesn’t hold back (too much) 

hands shake when anxious and gets real clumsy. ;ike theres a line. normally he has sturdy hands, if he’s nervous or anxious or paranoid they shake like the devil and he trips over stuff and you want to keep him out of the mechanic room (unfortunately thats the first place he’ll go) however he can stitch up your wound faster than lightning, and is very calm in the face of real hardcore danger

Paladin specific headcannons under the cut:

Lance:

would die for coran and vice versa

reminiscence about home planets together

is very gentle with coran, even though coran is usually the rock 

GOD HE GETS SO ANXIOUS ABT HIM SOMETIMES LIKE coran will do something incredibly dangerous like hanging from the rafters upside down (he’s done it so many times) or going days on end without sleep (really it’s for a project) or engineering something with dangerous substances that often can and will blow up in his face ( i s2g i will save u from another explosion)

complains to the paladins about the shit coran makes him go through but also wouldn’t have it any other way

Pidge:

TERRIBLE INFLUENCE ON HIM

both of them will collaborate on a project and then you won’t see them for days.

they live in the Castle Basement where they do experiments and shit. Pidge is worse than Coran about sleep so they have a couch down there that coran will carry pidge to and lay her on if she falls asleep during work.

if pidge is with him, coran makes sure to schedule breaks and snack times so pidge doesnt crash horribly. he brings her food and makes sure they don’t stay cooped up for weeks.

pidge knows this which is why she helps him so often ( that and she really enjoys learning new altean tech and hanging w him) 

will march in and drag coran from a project if she thinks he needs to take a break or a NAP 

Hunk: 

hunk loves to draw and sketch and whittle and stuff in his spare time! coran can barely hold a pencil. hunk teaches him how to draw and paint and coran just loves it so much. “coran what are you painting” “it’s a sworlump” “it looks nice” 

in turn coran teaches hunk how to whittle. hunk has shaky hands so learning this is helping him be more confident with his strokes and dexterity! 

hunk can FIND coran. he’s got a detector. he senses him. if corans sick or smthng or injured but trying to hide it he can sniff it out like a hound dog and is the only one that can actually get him to rest or visit the medbay. usually ends up carrying him there. i love hunk. 

Keith: 

it’s not that he doesn’t worry about coran (he does a lot) he just gets pissed a lot bc he doesnt get why coran can’t see how important he is. 

but also trust coran to know his limits 

wants coran to spot him when he trains bc if he’s training with the other paladins he has to keep a stoic face and perfect form. but since he does it to burn out stress, he gets really messy and emotional and nasty when he does it. like he’ll get so frustrated and cry and tear shit up and halfheartedly swing his bayard until he’s all drained. 

coran doesnt ever judge and makes sure he doesn’t go past his limits or something. can calm him down if he’s super distressed without it feeling patronizing. 

Shiro:

SHIRO HAS A MAJOR CRUSH ON CORAN LMFAOOO

GETS FLUSTERED AROUND HIM ALL THE TIME

coran: *smiles*

shiro: i would die for you

can train comfortably with coran as well as allura! but allura is sometimes too intense for him and he needs someone who is really in control of the whole thing. coran knows how to disable his arm if things get too wack. coran is a really good parter to spar with bc he likes to do funny banter and keeps shiro from getting lost in his head. 

shiro will eat anything coran hands him without hesitation. everyone else is??

turns out shiro has no taste buds but it makes coran happy so

coran once had to carry shiro out of battle bridal style and shiro couldn’t stop blushing for hours 

Allura: 

they’re so mischievous together lmfao

you’d think coran would be the one to be like “no allura you could get hurt!!” but unless it’s a huge life or death situation he’s such an enabler for her and vice versa. “HEY ALLURA I BET YOU CAN’T SHOOT THIS APPLE FROM KETIHS HEAD LL THE WAY FROM THE BRIDGE” “coran you fool i am the strongest one on this ship i can do anything” They’ll both find the most dangerous animal on whatever planet they’re on and ride it. coran used to be against her drinking and stuff but now that theres been a war going on they’ll basically do shots together and talk abt altea. THEY LOVE TO FUCK WITH THE PALADINS 

“oh no!! it seems Lance has caught the.. uh.. Altean stomach worms...”

“oh yes princess... so sad. we will miss you lance.rip in peace”

“princess have you drunken your florppinus potion this month?”

“ ...........OH YES THAT ONE. YES IM ALL READY FOR THE RECKONING. PRAISE THE ALLENIUM”

coran: did you know alteans can breathe pure quintessence?

lance: :O

allura: *holds up a jar of mouthwash* it’s so beautiful

[pierresonalthoughts]

im feeling like talking about myself to The Void™

so heres a whole ask prompt that im just gonna answer without nobody really asking for it or reading it, actually

ice cream asks

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

when i was 16, bc my best friend had kissed my our two best friends in a party, drunk off champagne, and she surprise gave me a kiss like a week later to keep it even. I answered saying ‘hey, i guess its a nice time to tell u that im gay?’. we laughed, got real awkward and never talked about that again

but if its the actual kiss that i did wanna have + w a boy, it was when i was 17, one week before the college exam for the one im currently in. bc it is technically the most difficult college exam of the country, or at least the one with biggest competition, i was so fckn nervous that i went on a tinder date with some boy who ended up being such a bad kisser, such a bad conversation and an acquaintance to like half my closest friends.

french vanilla: how old are you?

18, but nearly 19

cotton candy: three places you want to travel to?

germany, japan and england. i used to want to go to USA but with the whole current shituation? nope

strawberry: a language you wish you could speak?

im trying to learn french, german and japanese so theres those

coffee: favorite cosmetic brands?

no cosmetics, we die like goblins

mint chocolate chip: indoors or outdoors?

depends on the mood. i love walking through the outdoors but i literally spent 70% of this semester in my bed, so thats both a reason to favor both options

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

nope, used to want to play guitar but rn ill just sing badly under my breath

rocky road: favorite songs at the moment?

i have a little playlist of songs that im listening ad nauseum at all times, but rn its either Praying, the whole Melodrama album or the whole Red Velvet new album

butter pecan: favorite songs for life?

between two lungs, the only exception, sakura-colored time capsule

cheesecake: what's your zodiac sign?

libra sun, virgo rising and idk my moon or the rest rly

toasted coconut: the beach or the pool?

pool is p much bootleg beach but i love both. but the whole beach is so good? walking by the shore, the activeness of the water, beach food, the sound of waves, just all in all 10/10

chocolate chip: what's your most popular post?

absolutely this 270k post

bubblegum: books or movies?

with the books i can just savor the story for way more time so books? and i can do it like at random times and places so thats right within my aesthetic whipping out a book at random moments.

but i both wish i had time to read in my shit rushed life and i definitely need more money to spend on actual books. so i end up watchin more movies since i can just watch it at 3am and with some easy pirating

pistachio: manga or anime?

same feelings about books vs movies

salted caramel: favorite movies?

i dont even know really

birthday cake: favorite books?

probably the hitchhiker series, but i love me some classical lit like jane austen and machado de assis

moose tracks: favorites for manga?

i love kuragehime with my life, mob psycho with my soul and jojo (parts 4,6,7) with my full love for extraness

orange sherbet: favorites for anime?

oh man, im going for the ones that made the most impressions on me, like ouran, madoka, bokurano, katanagari, nichijou and psycho pass

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

like all? i shit you not that i liked all my subjects in high school and now in engineering college, i loved algorithms and data structures

black raspberry: do you have any pets?

nope but i rly want a cat

mango: when and why did you start your blog?

a friend of mine convinced me to read homestuck right after cascade, and when i read it i started following the updates here. so, since october/2011? the truly darkest times of this site. i remember seeing a full episode of doctor who in a 200 gifs gifset when photosets had no image limitation

mocha: ideal weather conditions?

i wanna say cloudy weather but that just makes me depressed. but i love when its raining enough to streets go empty but not enough to it being fully inconvenient when you have an umbrella, bc it makes for the most aesthetic strolls under a nice umbrella, with only my thoughts and music, and protected from the elements

black cherry: four words that describe you?

gay nerd depressed and supportive, i guess

neapolitan: things that stress you out?

my life, all the things i need to do and the possibility of stopping being good at the only things im good at

raspberry truffle: favorite kind of music?

i really cant find a pattern on my music taste so idk

chocolate marshmallow: favorite brands of candy?

i absolutely sold my soul to Fini, not even a question

toffee: a card game that you're good at?

ill kick anyones ass in Uno and ill kick my own ass in solitaire

lemon custard: do you eat breakfast?

yes im one of the few people i know that eats the breakfast from my college cafeteria, but thats mostly bc breakfast food is a loophole in my hundreds of picky eating no-nos

dark chocolate: turn ons?

any boy with piercings gets instant +3 on my 1-10 scale and im a sucker for perfume

fudge: turn offs?

general shitty personality, smoking and i guess i still have some fatphobia to deconstruct too

peach: how do you relax?

haha i dont. but i guess watching anime, scrolling through this hellsite, listening to some tunes, walking around aimlessly and making a cocoon out of myself in my bed count

praline: a popular book you haven't read yet?

im so out of touch with the current trends that i cant even say what i havent read

superman: do you like sweaters?

im living in hoodies for the last month or so but the general weather here is not exactly sweater weather and my hometown only goes from 25-31 celsius everyday of the year

cherry: do you drink tea or coffee?

i hate tea and most of my liquid intake is in coffee with milk

dulce de leche: an instrument you wish you could play?

the piano i guess

blackberry: have you ever laughed so hard you cried?

ofc, either with videos in the interwebs and with my friends

ginger: a new feature you wish tumblr could have?

a more efficient use of internet data when in mobile, bc good god im losing my life waiting for things to load

blueberry lemon: favorite blogs?

i love every webcomic that i follow

almond: favorite mean girls quote?

“too gay to function” is absolutely an accurate definition of me tbh

butterscotch: what color are your nails right now?

no color and 6/10 were bit off

cinnamon: have you ever been confessed to?

indirectly by a girl friend i had in my school, and by my bestfriend’s brother this may

blue moon: have you ever had a crush on someone?

hahahaha im pretty sure i had at least four painfully hopeless and debilitating crushes on straight boys ever since 2013

cappuccino crunch: do you take naps?

my sleeping schedule is so fucked up that i just pass out in the middle of the morning, afternoon or night, so thats both naps and my actual hours of sleep

mint: the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?

hahaha nope, not unearthing any memories, nope, thank you

brownie batter: do you like sushi?

no

key lime: where do you want to be right now?

i wanna be home, in fortaleza

red velvet: do you wear prescription glasses?

yea, ever since i was 5 and i cant see shit without them

green tea: favorite flavors of ice cream?

neapolitan, cream and theres an ice cream shop in my hometown that has a lemon pie flavor that actually sent my soul to heaven