#im not seeing it tomorrow which is when it comes out BUT I WILL ON FRIDAY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… so in two days for me technically
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a lazy morning ── . ✶ l. lane
summary: kissing lois was always your favorite past time in the mornings
pairing: lois lane x gn!reader, lois lane x afab!readerノ wc: 1.1k warnings: no use of 'y/n', none really, reader refers to themself as lois's girlfriend but there's no use of any pronouns, fluff!, lois not being a morning person, making out, slightly suggestive but not really, kinda edited; all mistakes are my own a/n: wrote this short and sweet one shot in an haze from 1:40 to 2:50 AM this morning bc i got inspired by this post and needed to write it for lois bc im so gay for her!! and lois is 100% a girl kisser in this movie you cannot tell me otherwise! lois lane masterlist
YOU LOVED HAVING LAZY DAYS.
It was rare when Lois decided to have a day where she just took the time to slow down and relax. Being a workaholic was something that was burned into her veins. There was always a new story to report on and evidence to gather on a new exposé she was writing for her job.
But this morning was different. Lois finished the final edits on her new story last night and would take it to Perry tomorrow morning for approval, leaving Sunday free for the two of you to do whatever you wanted. You thanked whatever higher power was out there that your girlfriend managed to finish her article so she could actually spend time with you.
Lois had a problem shutting out the rest of the world when working on something big. You knew it from first-hand experience when she locked herself in her apartment over the weekend when you first started dating. You almost broke into her place when she wouldn’t respond to your texts asking if the two of you could go on a date, or respond to your ‘are you okay?’ texts.
Nonetheless, you were delighted by the fact that she could finally sleep in for once and not worry about a deadline or the final edits to the draft she was working on.
You woke up before her, which was unusual for the pair of you. She would usually rise first and get out of bed carefully to work, but since she didn’t have anything to do, Lois was able to sleep in. Her face was nestled in the crook of your neck, her slow breaths fanning over your skin as she slept soundly.
The two of you found each other in your sleep last night, having been on opposite sides of the bed, but slowly migrated to the middle. And now you were wrapped up in each other, not necessarily knowing whose limb was whose, but you wouldn’t have it any other way.
You were content in staying there forever, letting Lois catch up on much-needed sleep, but the sharp intake of breath let you know that she was starting to stir. It was almost like she could sense that you were awake, and her body began to wake up.
Lois pressed a lazy kiss to the hollow of your throat before pulling away to meet your eyes.
“Morning.” She murmured, eyes still hazy from her deep slumber, as Lois blinked away the remnants of fatigue lining her gaze and limbs.
“Morning babe.” You whispered back, a small smile on your face as you took in the relaxed face of your girlfriend.
Lois raised her head up, glancing at the alarm clock behind you before her head fell—Lois’s forehead hitting your collarbone.
“Ugh.” She groaned.
You couldn’t help but smile and pet the back of her head, smoothing down some of the flyaways of her bedhead. “What time is it?”
“Too early.” Lois grunted out, her face finding itself back in the crook of your neck.
She let out an indignant noise when you craned your neck to see the time. It was nearing noon.
You let out a gentle laugh. “S’ not early honey, we slept in. It’s almost noon.”
“Then why am I still tired?” She grumbled as she pulled you tighter against her.
“Maybe because you’re a chronic overworker and stayed up later than you were supposed to instead of sleeping in bed with your darling girlfriend?”
Lois huffed but said nothing in retaliation, burying her face further into your neck. If her brain was working any faster, she would have come up with a snappy retort, but it was lagging behind due to just waking up (and she would rather have a building fall on her with Superman not there to save her than admit that you were right).
You let out a soft chuckle before shuffling down your pillow, meeting Lois’s tired but bright blue eyes. Your hand moved to push a wayward strand behind her ear before cradling her cheek, your thumb caressing her sun-warmed skin.
The two of you stared at each other, faces unknowingly leaning toward each other like two magnets coming together. Before either of you knew it, lips were pressed against each other in a warm caress.
Neither you nor Lois cared about the morning breath that both of you had. You were too focused on how soft Lois’s lips were against yours, how they slotted against your own perfectly like two puzzle pieces, and how you could taste the lingering remnants of the vanilla lip balm you and she applied just before the pair of you went to bed.
Your mouths moved together in sync—a familiar and choreographed dance that you and Lois did frequently whenever you kissed each other. Kissing Lois came to you naturally—it was as easy as breathing. You never had to think too hard about it; you just did it.
A familiar warmth started to spread throughout your body, slowly burning in your core—but you did nothing to turn the kiss passionate. Each kiss was slow and deliberate. Filled with nothing but love and devotion with each other, the two of you savored the sensual press of lips against one another.
Hands slowly started to roam over shirts and thin pajama pants, the pair of you were wearing, not daring to slip underneath to feel skin, but the touches weren’t hesitant—they were grounding and reverent as you and Lois lost yourselves in each other.
Tongue was slowly introduced, swirling around each other, and suckled on slowly. Not daring to change the pace of the rhythm, the two of you were content to kiss. It was perfect for this Sunday morning. If you had it your way, you’d spend every waking moment doing only this with Lois.
Your hands eventually made their way into her raven-colored hair, pulling lightly at the strands of hair at the nape of her neck, making a soft moan spill against your lips. You couldn’t help the smile that grew against her own lips before nipping at the plush skin of her bottom lip. She retaliated with her own little nip before kissing you again, a little more forceful than intended, but still held a tenderness behind it.
Swiping your tongue against hers one last time, you pulled away. Your lips were slick with spit and slightly swollen from the kisses you traded with your girlfriend. You brushed your nose against hers in an Eskimo kiss before your forehead rested against hers. You breathed each other in, smelling like clean linen and sunlight as the two of you stayed wrapped in each other’s arms.
Neither of you was keen on moving, so you didn’t—the bubble the two of you were in was built with love, warmth, and blankets as you guys stayed in bed, content on having a lazy day doing nothing but relaxing, cooking, and kissing.
#daisy writes#i love WOMEN!!#please i need lois and rachel brosnahan so bad#lois lane#lois my beloved#lois lane x reader#lois lane x you#lois lane x gn reader#lois lane x gn!reader#lois lane x afab reader#lois lane x afab!reader#lois lane fluff#lois lane one shot#lois lane fanfiction#superman x reader#superman 2025#superman fanfiction#superman fluff#superman one shot#wlw#wlw fanfiction
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sorry for staying in my room 24/7, I got sfth patreon and now I strive to speedrun every single show, longform, livestream and special until my subscription ends
#i got the subscription like on my birthday which was the 6th and ive already watched the bitter sweethearts campaign and the hot from the-#-hip challenge as well as the extra little videos and bts things that theyve done#i am a menace to society but also to my sleep schedule since im currently watching the podcast but after i want to watch escape the vault#i swear im normal guys (i am LIVING on nothing but hopes and dreams as well as the sfth patreon)#i genuinely need like a monster or a redbull because i am NOT surviving tomorrow without one#i tried to buy one in the morning but all the shops were closed which was DEVASTATING.#i looked like an idiot when i stared at the shop trying to read if the sign read open or closed because my glasses were dirty as shit#anyways!!!!!#im actually really enjoying the patreon like it is SO much fun#i have lost all social skills with my family but the patreon calls my nameeeee#i actually spent my birthday just chilling in my room alone with lambie and we just watched sfth together because why not!!!!#it was actually very nice and very chill#i quite enjoyed it and i lowk prefer it more than having a party with my family like i have done in the past (since its tradition or smth)#if you didnt know yet i hate socialising and would rather spend the entire day coped up in the room yapping to myself than talk to my-#-family about my future or some shit like that lol#ANYWAYS I LOST TRACK AGAIN#watching these videos in the wrong order is so confusing to me like ive just watched lukes hot from thr hip and now im watching the podcast-#-and seeing him go from proper long hair thats been tied up into a ponytail and a beard to when he was just growing his hair out#not saying that i dont like Luke with short hair or long hair#i think either suits him its just such a drastic change from one thing to another lol#anyways that was my yapping session for today#come again to my ted talk of sfth rambles or just kaden gibberish shit#bye bye :3#kadens yap session
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my landlord: the custodian said when he went in to spray your apartment he didnt see any live roaches
me: sends him a picture of the very much alive roaches currently nesting in my (literally otherwise empty!!) desk drawer
him: ok i see.
???????
#taylor.txt#IM SO MAD. IM SO MAD!!!!! ITS BEEN OVER A YEAR AND YOURE STILL TRYING TO TELL ME THIS ISNT A PROBLEM#you refuse to hire an exterminator then act like im crazy because i still fucking see these things everywhere#WHATEVER!!!! im moving in 50 days and hopefully suing his stupid fucking ass too!!!#ok its fine i have therapy homework about identifying my emotions and i have successfully identified im angry as hell so i guess i’ll do#that and then i’ll have a nice conversation about how fucking insanely pissed off i am with my therapist tomorrow#its not like…fully gaslighting but its still just the right amount of trying to convince me my reality isnt real to be triggering the part#of my brain that is still a victim of lifelong gaslighting and lol. lmao even. no wonder i cant eat or sleep lately#fuck im so mad sorry for the vent guys. but i havent been able to write because im so preoccupied with this shit this week#yay spring break am i right!!! so awesome spending my two weeks off going through all my belongings to check for roaches and talking to#lawyers and wasting my time and money letting my building’s janitor come in and do useless treatment after useless treatment because my#landlord i guess doesnt believe that fumigation will help. which is what he told me when i told him im moving out and requested AGAIN he#hire actual exterminators. lol. lmao even. im so livid right now#ok i see. THATS ALL YOU FUCKING HAVE TO SAY???
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😔
#feeling very very low and sad tonight#and i just need to get it out of my head#so i can hopefully get some sleep tonight#i just feel so lonely atm#and i see now that ive been feeling like this for a while now#but hadnt really accepted that and just tried pushing it away#but tonight i just couldnt any longer#and now im feeling it#which is better than pushing it away i know#therapy teached me that among many other things#but those feelings are hard#and somehow i also realised that the happy and carefree me i was before everything happened#is never coming back#at least not the way she was#and i knew that already#but it just hit me again tonight#i miss her sometimes#my anxiety makes me so tired sometimes#anyway this all probably doesnt make any sense#theres so much more in my head but i just cant put it all in to words#at least i could type something off my chest#lets try to get some sleep now since i need to work tomorrow#you guys can just ignore this#i might delete it anyway tomorrow when i hopefully feel a bit better#so goodnight
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i did FINE today i did fine it was fine. i did 99% of a task but had to stop bc i needed a text back from someone--i'll have to do the whole thing over again tomorrow but what matters is that i tried (<- said through tears, convinced it is untrue). um and i also made a proper dinner, which was awesome!! ...it was supposed to be 2-3 dinners but i ate all of it bc im fucking hungry. so i'll have to do the whole thing over again tomorrow but what matters is that i tried (ditto). uhhhhhhh and i rested. that counts for something. and i tried to work on one of my art WIPs but everything i did was bad and i didn't make any progress but what matters is that i trieddddddd
#😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#whatever man.#the one thing i DID do that will NOT be taken away from me is i made a new list w updated steps for things#and i figured out when i'll need to get a T refill. which will be in the same 2 weeks that im planning to buy a car and either move or rene#can i PLEASE kill myself. or SOMETHING. like can something please happen#idc if it's good or bad idc if the clarity of purpose comes from a disaster i just need to not have 1william huge things#im trying to do and failing to do bc they are so many steps and i am so small and i can barely handle eating every day#augh town hall meeting tomorrow.... i should have prepped today but i can do that instead of errands tmrw i guess#<- it's always some shit like this bc i can only do like 1 thing per day 😭 yeah i know that makes me an evil lazy failure#i KNOW i just need to get good and stop being bad at everything. i know that.#sorry. idk man. will sade save me? we shall see#the strolls royce
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GET SCRUNCHT!!

#genuinely felt like a marine biologist trying to bathe a real baby seal he was so freaking heavy#i filled the bucket full of water and he soaked up almost the entire thing#i couldnt find where i put the tag so sorry for the old phone pic of it (figures that i hold onto the tag for so long and now cant find it)#blanco#sirotan#plushies#stuffed animal#plushie bath#plushy bath#i dont think hes gonna be white again unfortunately i did a lot more scrubbing but i really dont wanna use bleach#hes been across the country multiple times lol but i had to stop cuddling him when a cat slept on him while pet sitting#(im super allergic to cats)#so hes been gathering dust since like 2017ish? which is the bulk of the dirty water#sir alpacasso is next on my list but not today blanco is hogging the drying net outside rn#i seriously regret not going 2 buy the sirotan that was stuffed more (but i dont think i couldve fit him on the plane with me as a 'pillow'#the store i got him from was SO hard to find in nyc. i only walked past it like 3 times including the time i bought him#i couldnt find it again after that despite going many blocks out of my way before and after class trying to find it again#i have a sirotan note paper set too lol theyre so cute#i think mine used to have pink cheeks but that must have been a temporary thing bc i didnt see the pink after washing#also congrats to me for obeying my calendar alert to give him a bath today. the suns out so it was good timing#Cori.exe#Image.exe#gif warning#edit bc i had to wait till i got on pc to reorder this post: he did come out pretty white!#im making sure he gets really dry tho so he'll get another (third) day in the sun tomorrow
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Also sorry I'm inevitably gonna b talking a lot about the breakup bc I got a lot of feelings to process. I sure didn't see it coming, so I didn't get any time to prepare for it.
#speculation nation#sometimes ur in a perfectly happy relationship and then outta nowhere she just drops u...#maybe this is karma for my last relationship. i did a kind of similar thing#though we Had had some problems. so there was some leadup to it. she just didnt realize it.#i at least had the grace to break up with her in person. it sucked but it was the respectful thing to do.#6 months in a relationship only to break up over text... im forever gonna be pissed at this.#i'll have my satisfaction when i next see her. which is supposed to be tomorrow but who fucking knows now.#after she stood me up yesterday and then chickened out of seeing me today. bc shes such a coward lol.#ive had my nice face on around her all the times we were together bc i like her#but she's gonna see my bitch side tomorrow. or whenever she comes by to drop off the shit.#ill try not to be Too nasty... but i will definitely be plenty cold lol.#might have a few words for her too. bc she really does deserve to see who exactly she's hurting.#she cant hide behind a screen and her infinite apologies forever. fucking coward.
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Same ass person. I keep staring at these and wanting to say things and then nothing. Static silence. You open the tab on your computer and it gets stuck on loading and a pop-up appears saying it can't load and you should close it. That. Do not be surprised if I wave these around again in future occasions.
#I've been staring at that gif for so long now#i have like. so mant several things i want to say here about all of these things that my brain just short circuts.#and then cant say anytging#overwhelmed with all the lovely thoughts. but. in a good way.#sometimes they give his coat six buttons and sometimes they dont.#in the movie he has six buttons but i think in a lot of the game stuff it is just three. i dont know what the change is for..#he's evil and sinister and evil and villianous and a complete ass and has a whole backstory.#but also. however. stares at my screen and blinks.#there is something there deep down inside of him. Movie ending confessed that if nothing else did.#I dont know. it is getting late for me and so I'm having a mix of some dumb thoughts filter into my head.#both good and bad. I mean not BAD bad but obligatory. “oh gosh i hope he likes me” sort of thoughts.#Obligatory new. not calling him an F/O even if I have a tag for him.#“I hope he likes me” I say while being a complete nuance when it comes to admitting my own feelings about him.#Hypocrite say what.#but also. it is late for me and that is slightly why I am spilling a little here. coming out of my shell. a bit more.#waving pictures of him around and saying that i have lovey thoughts about him and.care. about. what his.#viewing of me might be. and not. blasting him with insults or threats or. hatred.#see mayhapd. mayhaps this is a me thing. maybe i should nottttt be hypocritical(mindboggling moment i know).#i say nice things about him and crawl further out my shell and in turn. recirpocatio- *I proceed to bite my phone in half#before I can finish my thought. I am completely unharmed but i bit through the battery of my phone and it exploded.*#Strangeglove💜💙#sometimes they capitalize the G in his name and sometimes not as well..#bwahdg. it's late i dont care im putting this in main tags.#sorry I've been so. i have posts to read and asks to answer which might have to come tomorrow on my free day.#I wont say he's been keeping me sane or straight because thst isn't true but. something. he's been doing something.#Most villianous scheme of his yet or something.#self ship#selfship#selfshipping#self shipping
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tmrw is so booked wtf
#chesschats#the music chronicles#for some reason i thought i had no rehearsal tmrw i think i looked at the schedule and saw ‘footloose’ like the opening song but actually#it’s footloose finale whjch i’m in. so im walking out of rehearsal tonight and my director goes see you later leigh oh wait see you#tomorrow and i chirp yep see you and then my brain buffers as soon as the door shuts like wait. TOMORROW? so im scrambling to check the#schedule and yeah tomorrow that’s right. and it’s in the middle of the day. fantastic. thankfully (i guess?) i couldn’t sign up for a#specific time slot for these auditions bc they were all full so i signed up as a walk-in that they can fit in when they get the chance so#anyway i go to the time slot website or whatever to see if anything has opened up that i can figure out and it turns out the noon slot has#a free spot now BUT the time slot sign up is also closed at this point presumably bc auditions started today#so i emailed the contact they had on there asking if i could fill in the last slot for that time now that it’s opened up#so hopefully they see it 😩 augh i was planning on sitting in there all day in case they were super busy but now i only have a small amount#of time i could be there <- which thankfully that noon slot is part of but#ANYWAY on top of all this golden raven releases tmrw obviously… not sure if i’ll start it tomorrow tho tbh i might wait until it comes out#in paperback and read it then bc reading tsc entirely on my phone was kind of painful lol. and then keep working at les mis in the meantime#bc i did not in fact achieve my goal of completing it by feb 22 lmaoo#also need to get caught up on yj still
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youtube
wdym christmas is next week?????
#wasnt yesterday just november??? hello????????#im still writing ‘nov’ in my dates by mistake lmao wdym we’ll be in a new year 2 weeks from now#but aaaaa… christmas huh~~~~~~ it’s that time of year when i have to come up with excuses to skip the family gathering again#i havent gone since. like. 2019(?) and i like to keep it that way#b u t~ if i can skip the gathering i’ll finally get back to idol sengen~~~~ maybe~~~~~~~#vol 5 has been out since f o r e v e r i really ought to get at least the asuna pov chapters done before the year ends (pipe dream)#wait no i’ll get the asuna povs done before next cny. yeah. that’ll give me an extra month!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but hmmmmmmmmmm… once im done with vol 5 (in a million years) i gotta polish up my mona novel tl too… man.#maybe i’ll make a mona tl masterpost after all that~~~~ minus the honeypre event tls bc that’s a whole other ‘verse lol#but i really wanna do mona’s honeypre main story too… it gives context as to how she landed the event gig (that led to her getting scouted)#…should my ny’s resolution to be to finish all possible mona tls that have yet to be done maybe…?#…nah im just gonna make it ‘learn to ride a bike’ for the 15th year in a row. giggity#a n y w a y s merry early christmas from my workplace ig? the ‘mas luncheon from a couple days back sure gifted every other person something#that they didnt ask for (read: food poisoning). the fact that it took out over half my department still gets me thoughhhhhhh#(i wasnt affected though~~~~ ((didnt eat anything)) i did lose my 1h break for the day though… what a waste.)#ok that’s enough of being annoying for one day~~~~ see y’all tomorrow (maybe) if hw decides to drop an announcement or sth#which would prolly be either their comi.ket lineup or chizuchan manga vol 2’s cover but hey—)
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aouuugh my uterus......
#long long day at work codeine wasnt helping with cramps and my meds are less effective on my period :(#ive been doing okay most of the day tho just starting feeling kind of miserable omw home bc such a long wait at the bus stop in pain#and im kind of lonely at the moment but wont be able to climb tomorrow bc of cramps so thats my main social source gone :(#and it always feels worse at home bc if im having a hard time like in physical pain or feeling down my roommate cant rly handle it#like she cant rly be in the room with me the headphones go straight on. which is ok im realising its just how her type of autism works#so im trying not to get as upset at her abt it. with varying degrees of success but it just takes time#i mean i dont get upset AT her like ik its not her fault and i dont want her feeling like it is. I keep it internal + cry once im alone#just different social needs n boundaries innit. we're a bit incompatible is all#but its still hard. I'd like support from other ppl when I'm struggling i mean i think thats a fairly normal thing to want#but of the friends I would be comfortable talking to abt how i feel none of them have that kind of emotional availability#which again is ok like its not on them. and im very capable of dealing w my shit myself one way or another so its not a Need#but idk. it would just be nice. I feel like I've had to be so independent most of my teenage and adult life and I wish I could take a#break from that sometimes. even just a hug would be nice man#sorry i always come on here and talk abt the same problems... well youll see me do it again no doubt abt that 🫠#ughh and i feel so guilty for wanting things ppl cant give even though i know its not really my fault either and im allowed to want things#and i dont cross boundaries or make them feel bad abt it. i really hope i dont anyway. but still ahhh...#its so hard for me to feel connected to anyone if they cant rly engage w me emotionally at all like its a non negotiable#factor into closeness and trust for me and i get so frustrated bc i feel so distant and alienated from the ppl i care abt most#and ik i overreact bc of my rsd so maybe its just that its probably not even a real issue. but its real to me bc im the one who gets upset#man. anyway its okay just a really really long day. im gonna wash my dishes and then shower#and finish my book. maybe i should play some dead cells i miss it. i dont really want to think abt how i feel anymore#maybe ill see if anyones free to hang out tmr evening so i dont have to feel as lonely even if i cant leave the house after work#all good nice to have a plan anyway. done sniffling. my hot water bottle is helping thr cramps a littlr i think#.diaries#oh i dont think its helping actually ow. i took more codeine an hour ago why doesnt it do anything. not fairrr 😭
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BLUE LOCK MOVIE TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ISAGI YOICHI TOMORROW!!!!! BY THE WAY!!!!!!!!

#im not seeing it tomorrow which is when it comes out BUT I WILL ON FRIDAY AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH… so in two days for me technically#idc about nagi even tho the movie is abt him supposedly LFMOANDNDNSNSN#PLEASE GIVE MY KANYE EDIT RECOGNITION#I DESERVE KT#sora.txt
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i wanna jsut like stop using social media but it seems silly to make a post like "bye i m probably gonna stop using tumblr for a bit" because i haven't really been using it that much recently anyway . especially not posting art or anything which is what most people would have followed me for. and bc my mutuals probably already know my discord (it's literally just the same as my url here anyway lol) and can talk 2 me if they want to. that's what this post is by the way it's the silly goodbye post ✌️ probably not even for that long but whateva i just want to spend my time actually doing things instead of constantly absentmindedly checking every social media i have . so im giving this a go
#but sometimes i feel this kind of lonely uncomfortable empty feeling and i just have to do something to remind myself that there is#people everywhere.#even if obviously i know there is people everywhere all the time and also my family literally in my house#but when im in my room by myself everything feels really empty anyway#and then i think thats why i check social media so much sometimes because its like trying to abate that feeling without actually#leaving my room. especially when it's nighttime cause like i can't just go for a stroll (which i never do anyway 🫣)#but yanno . i'll figure something else out#i see people 5 days a week (school) but then i still go home and feel like. where are the people#ANYWAY BYE IM OFF NOW for a bit. this will be so embarassing if tomorrow im like ehhh no wait i shld come back
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who told me that I wouldn't be able to repot my big plants very easily without putting them in nursery pots btw cause I've done it twice now and both times it was super easy. most recently one went from a 14 inch to 16 inch pot and that boy has been eating his vegetables. sorry I'm not a weakling. I absolutely hurt my wrist moving this big idiot though so I am kinda weak actually but in a different way.
#well. the other monstera is in a pot with a base that's wider than its opening.#so tomorrow when i continue to hermit crab these repottings we'll see what a fucking mistake that pot choice was...#im not gonna reuse that one though. adios you marbled idiot. you dont match my decor.#also i hate nursery pots for repotting cause roots come out their holes and are a pain to thread back through#thats on top of my main reason for disliking them which is that they dont allow moisture to wick away from soil like unglazed clay
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Love when plans get cancelled last minute 🙃
#ace is a grumpy bean#supposed to be meeting college friends and ten minutes before i need to leave to meet them one of them messages that actually#theyve been feeling unwell all day which they didnt mention this morning when the other said that they were having car troubles#and now that its the time were supposed to be meeting they wont definitively decide whether theyre not coming out or not#like a lil heads up maybe? or at least a definitive answer? im leaving tomorrow morning so i need to pack#but i cant do anything until someone answers#edit: friend with car troubles wouldnt respond to gc about whether or not they were coming or to texts#unwell friend said theyd wait to hear from them about whether to cancel or go anyway and finally hour later they responded#apparently theyd been asleep the whole time 🙃#it wouldnt have been super convenient to meet up tonight for drinks anyway as i need to pack and i did see them once already#and it woulda been fun to see them again but theyre always so reluctant during the planning process so its just a lil annoying
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#sometimes u just gotta have a cringe fail weekend. is what i tell myself bc i let the fact that i forgot to check my new#email completely obliterate me. also i haven't been sleeping enough. also just the normal thoughts in my head#by which i mean the part of my brain that demands consequences for inattention by means of suffering. devine punishment.#which is irrational and annoying but knowing that doesnt seem to help. so ive just been laying here in the hopes i come unspooled and start#to disintegrate. which is annoying bc ive got stuff to do#specifically bc i am supposed to b a TA this semester. which is what i figured but also feared#so. thats gonna b a lot. tho not as much as my old school bc they dont make TAs do literally everything here apparently#but. itll b a lot. and also i have to finish signing up for classes. bc i didnt do that back in April by my brain was melting. also i have#to keep doing my job and dealing with my data. ugh. well. being a TA isnt so bad. i do like to help ppl learn even if im not very good at it#like. i struggle with thr talking to ppl part. like the transition of ny thoughts to something thst makes sense#oh well. hope i end up teaching something im not too unqualified for. i could do soils. Ecology. uhhh. maybe intro bio but i never even took#university level biology. i just skipped upper level courses. that's probably it. anything else would b a lotta faking it#ugh. im tired. i should go to sleep at 9pm. thr sun hasbt even set and i should sleep#tomorrow i have to get my shit together. but also i wanna email my new professor like hey bro like what do u want me to do???#like how do i start in this lab? when do we start talking. like just not to b pushy but whats thr procedure?#i like Structure but also its like weeks until the semester starts so we got time. im just a lil nuts#jesus. its gonna b an interesting semester. hopefully fun but uh it is sorta like taking a boat out when u can see big ominous clouds#like im sure ill b fine but also i might get dumped over into a watery grave. i just. i have a lot of papers to write#and its gonna b hard to b a student on top of that. partly bc what im gonna b doing now is almost completely unrelated#which is probably y ppl stick to the same track they stsrt on. that awkward moment when ppl ask u if ur gonna keep working with bi0crust#and ur like uhhhh no fuck that actually the work ive done in the past 4 years makes me hate myself✌️#so we r back at square 1. well not 1 bc its sorta related but its a pretty big reset#itll b fine once things start. its just thr anticipation that kills me#unrelated
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