#im queueing this for when ill be asleep later

[tiredtriedfailures]

oh yeah i bet ill get weird and forget about why life is worth living so let me queue this up:

my friend saved up horror movies she wanted to watch but couldnt for when i stayed over at her place cuz i dont get scared i make silly comments while watching movies. later at night she made her bed next to me but like 30 seconds after getting into bed she whispered "hey are you asleep? im scared" and came into my bed. so you know.

[darkvolley]

Demyx calling Ienzo cute and Ienzo becoming a blushing, stuttering mess to the point he has to excuse himself from the room.

[multi-mused-menagerie]

@OFLEGENDS PONDERED:     “ try me bitch ” (Dazai to Chuuya) VINE STARTERS | ACCEPTING

     “GLADLY, BASTARD. Where should I punch first? The right side or the left side of your ugly mug?”

    Already, he’s standing up, making his way over to his partner as he cracks his knuckles, an almost feral grin on his face. He can hear Ane-san admonishing him in his head, but he’s choosing to ignore her advice in favor of kicking Dazai’s ass.

    “Actually, don’t answer that. I’ll just aim for the middle and hopefully break your nose.”

[p1tstop]

tumblr tag game ❗️❓

tagged by the wonderful @leatherandcherryblossoms @ricciardosmile @jedivszombie @formulakay & @schwarzevulkan !!!

1. why did you choose your url?

because it reminds me of luigi & guido in cars going “pitstop! pitstop!” & its a tribute to those damn (normally) 2 second stops that make my heart go pitter patter most sundays! also maybe i was watching trixie hosting pitstop for rpdr &i was like yES let make make this a lil fruity! 

2. any side blogs?

jontent & totoswolff in honour of two of my favourite men in f1! just an additional reason to spam people with their hOtness away from main!

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

too long! started off in 2010 as a one direction/glee/football blog where i was mainly obsessed with the spain nt & nando torres (paintmyrojaheart ill never forget u) then got a ~aesthetic blog back in 2012 (lostbeyondrepair) that I maintained regularly right up until I hopped on this new account! honestly tumblr has been in the background of my life for so long, its a special place. 

4. do you have a queue tag?

nope! i only queue posts when i go through my likes i havent reblogged and i’ve sorted them out in the proper order i want them to post and then want to get rid of the 50 tabs I have opened! yes a bit psychotic i am aware! 

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

when: january 2021! why: i kept using my aesthetic blog to look up f1 content and then just knew i had to make the switch to a new account if i wanted to join in on the circus!

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

because disgruntled disappointed toto is who i am & aspire to attract

7. why did you choose your header?

because i get to stare at cyrils heartbroken yet expectant and somewhat hopeful lil french face at least once a day

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

lewis’ insta comment after imola 2021 seb idiot sandwich susie & lewis podium in ‘03 susie & her trophy husband carlando netflix nonsense

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i think maybe about 100!? but im v shy so i maybe talk to only like ten of u beauties 

10. how many followers do you have?

635 ahhh screams

11. how many people do you follow?

290!

12. have you ever made a shit post?

every day 😌

13. how often do you use tumblr a day?

i basically always refresh my lil dash on my phone if i have a free minute or two! it’s also my go to when i’m falling asleep!

14. did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

nope! not about that life!

15. how do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

reblogging is the only way content gets shared on this silly lil site! so of course i think it’s important, but who am i to tell someone what to do! i undertand how appreciated it is though!

16. do you like tag games?

love them! even if i do them like weeks later its very sweet to be tagged to do them! and allows me to share fun lil info about me that i normally wouldnt share on here because its a f1 blog!

17. do you like ask games?

yEs!! but if i take forever to answer its because my adhd makes me forget about it & also i have a need to craft what i believe is a perfect well-rounded & researched answer so that takes a stuPid amount of time but also makes me not want to answer it :):):) gr8 times

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

some of them are def f1blr famous & it makes me blush to think they see my silly lil posts freaking out over team principals & women !!

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

yes you are all quite sexY 2 me! every single one of u! this is me giving u all a lil kiss on the forehead i hope that’s ok !! <3333

20. tags! 

@bonocedes​ @laptimedeleted​ @schwarzevulkan​ @mushroomlance​ @vettelle​ @formula-done @renaultz @quinnkeeper @babssionate @ricciardhoes no pressure & so sorry if you’ve already been tagged & done this cuties! 

[mollydollyjournals]

Its Thursday 1st July and I hit post limit so all I can do is update this post

I just want to drink til i pass out

9:46pm - oh when did i post this? Doesnt matter i guess. It really annoys me that the daily post limit applies to all blogs you have. I have 2 and i follow a lot of NSF- stuff so i have so much in my queue for my other blog, and i tend to post more immediately for that so i dont end up with a massive backlog, but thaats when i hit the limit. Whatever it is. I basically just wish i could set the queue to post more often when i have more there. Just post every 15mins or whatever and it'd go through quicker without me having to do it myself

Idk it doesnt matter i guess. Im still just venting all my bullshit here that i cant put anywhere else. But now is when i need it. I want interaction and company but i dont want to bother anyone and I dont know what to do with it. I dont have it in me to try to be a person right now. Tumblr is for messy. At least thats how i do.

But once you hit post limit it apparently doesnt even let you delete stuff to post anything else. I havent been here in years really so i totally forgot. Plus it could have been different anyway. Idk. Guess i will just drink until i disintegrate or something

10:20pm - it just makes me feel worse. I know theres a reason for post limit and its not the end of the world. Just it doesnt reset til 5am and I'll be asleep by then which means for the rest of today i cant actually say anything, and that kinda fucks with my derealisation/depersonalisation/whatever it is. I need acknowledgement to feel real. I need people to remind me that i exist. Even just a little. Its stupid and insecure but i do. Everything is worse since covid and being stuck in a house with someone who barely acknowledges my existence. I feel like a ghost. I feel netter at least a little temporarily if someone just sees and acknowledges me. And currently i can't do anything about that. Nobody is going to go to my page(s) and see whats up, its not that kind of thing. Even if it was they still wouldnt. I put on my other social media fucking ages ago that i was really struggling, then i disappeared, and it took days for it to get noticed at all. Then only 3 people acknowledged it. People have their own lives and there are algorithms etc so i cant be angry at them, but the end result is i still feel really alone.

I often feel like i want to just talk to people. Only a select few. Its not that i necessarily need to talk about "deep" stuff, but i need to know that i could if i needed to. Or if we just both happened to be in that mood at the same time. Like how i dont wanna talk about something totally innocent and generic with someone who turns out to be racist or whatever.

I dont know. Maybe i do need to talk some shit through right now. Doesnt matter either way. Ill most likely just be back to this post later to say more about how i dont really feel like being alive.

10:39pm - I hate that im like this. I dont know if its reasonable or not. I used to be someone who wantes so much space. I still dont feel like i want to always be around people. I must have some individuality somewhere. But i cant find it. Since the pandemic hit especially, it just highlighted everything ive been missing and trying to supplement. I need things to change. But i dont have a hope of doing so while i feel like this. Im so lost. Ive spent my life trying to be confident in myself and ive run my reserves dry. I so rarely get any help topping up. I fucking hate the whole Strong Black Woman trope. Im tired. Ive carried my family since I was 13 and romantic partners have expected me to carry them too. I need to be held and comforted. I need support. If nothing else i need to just be acknowledged. I dont feel like a person. Im invisible and inaudible so much of the time and apparently that only changes when someone wants to see or hear me. When do i get to be a person in my own right? When does someone actually see or hear me for who i am and care about my existence regardless of what it does for them

10:54pm - its the worst of my mental health, tbh, that i dont feel like its worth trying anything if its not going to be acknowledged and welcomed by anyone else. Existing included. I feel my worst and most suicidal when i cant have anyone remember that i exist. Because maybe i dont. Maybe people dont miss me or think of me unless theyre reminded for some specific reason. And i say these things because i want to be proved wrong but why would anyone.

I want to cut. I hate this stupid post limit. I could have at least distracted myself by reblogging stuff for a bit. Im still spiralling. I need a distraction and there isnt one and there wont be one and if i even get through tonight itll just be another reminder that in the end im alone

11:24pm - something feels particularly cruel about not being able to post here, even if i delete stuff. Its just an app sure but its the closest thing i have to therapy. I came back here specifically because i was struggling posting on my regular social media and having people not pay any attention. I thought id make a fresh anonymous account where i could vent and my shitty brain couldnt take it personally if nobody acknowledged it. Now i just have all that shit going round my head and nowhere to put it. Im right back where i started. Nobody will read this. If they do they wont care. If by some chance they did they'll be put off by me being so negative.

"One day someone will hug you so tight all tour broken pieces will fit back together" yeah sure. Whatever.

[rattusrattus3]

hey! im assuming everyone deals with this from time to time, and your advice is usually very helpful (and i trust you fjsbfb) but do you have any tips on falling asleep? the past few days i haven't slept, and it's not great for lil ol me 😅 if not, that's okay! thanks for reading this anyway! i love you, smooches 💙 - Gobs

ah hi gobs!!! sorrry this took so long to get back to! yes i would love to offer some tips 

ok first one and i hate this but (•ˋ _ ˊ•) unfortunatly . what is ur caffeine intake like? maybe cut down on that, it helped me a lot 

tea before bed is so nice!!!! some good relaxing ones that are my fav are Honey Vanilla Chamomile, Kava Kava (this one is uh not for everyone, it makes your mouth numb and has some weird kinda stoned effects, very mild but nice and relaxing, but google it before hand and ask ur doc etc etc), same with Blue Lotus tea is like that, i love Sweet Wild Orange tea also! tea is very relaxing and i reccomend IM NOT A DOCTOR ALSO! PLS NO ONE COME AT ME 

a little stretching before bed is very nice imo! i am always sore lol so ill look up on youtube a little yoga session for whatever im sore with (like, gentle hip openers, or shoulder stretching or whatever), one channel i like is yoga with adriene 

meditation? i mean i kinda hate meditating but i like body scans? i like a lot, you can find those on youtube as well! theres also lots of good sleep podcasts or apps that will play different things for you, you can experiment and find what is most relaxing for you (maybe its rain sounds or ASMR or calm music or visualizations or body scans or meditation I don't know! try some out see what you like!) my fav ever that i listen to constantly is this “Relax Into Deep Sleep” by Meg James its on the Insight Timer Meditation App (free and i reccomend), (Meg James has a whole course on “Simple Tools For Self Acceptance I highly recommend!)

try to figure out what it is about sleep that is hard for you, and try to target that! for me for instance, a big problem is keeping my eyes closed long enough to get to sleep, and i found that making an eye pillow out of rice and dried lavander and a new sock tied with a string does the trick to help me weigh down my eyes and keep em closed! If its anxiety, try to use a meditation, another thing that was hard for me to overcome was being cold all the time, so now i sleep with a hot water bottle and it helps cause i can move it to my toes or wherever is cold 

comfy pjs or naked but make sure u comfy and prioritize that

stuffed animals :) i love to spoon Crystal my big pink unicorn! or holding lapin to my chest as i sleep is really comforting to me :) 

try to keep a semi consistent sleep schedule i promise it helps it sucks and its hard but it helps 

I reccomend a routine, it doesnt have to be complicated just something that you do every night to signal to your body its time to wind down. my night time routine is really chill and helps me wind down, try to figure out what the best one is for you but this is mine: shower, get out of shower, have a tea while i lotion my whole body (wait for it to soak in), put on pjs, and do my skin care (toner, lotion). when my teas done i brush teeth (floss and mouthwash if its a good day), put in my retainer, then i sit in bed, spray my pillow and around me with a spray bottle filled with water, vanilla extract and lavander oil, then I put hand lotion and lip balm on, turn off the lights, queue up something to listen to, set my alarms, then i put my little sleep mask on and  its night time :) 

some products i like if u wanna treat urself: sleepy body lotion from lush, some nice smelling candles from the dollar store, lavander essential oil (to put in a spray bottle for nice soothing smells)  and teas i reccomended ;) (or whatever teas u like!!! if u dont know what u like get a caffeine free sampler pack from Twinings or Celestial Seasonings and see what u like!)

i also like to do a to do list before i go to bed so i can get all the shit off my mind that i need to do coming up, i also will keep a note pad by my bed so if im having obsessive or anxious thoughts and they are keeping me up to the point i cant sleep i can just scribble them down and then i feel like they’re out and i can re-visit them later instead of feeling the need to obsess over them in the moment 

Melatonin? is a thing u can try? I got it prescribed when i was younger but it never did anything for me really but you can buy it over the counter and ask your doctor etc etc but yeah maybe thats somehting you could look into ? AGAIN NOT A DOCTOR ASK UR DOCTOR 

thats all i got for now i hope it may help you or others !!! not sleeping is hard but we can get there! 

[konyah]

Prompt

Borusara – Caring for You

Rating: T

Read on AO3 | Other works

Description: @ourlittlesecrethoney wanted me to write something cute, but fun, that shows how Boruto and Sarada really care for each other. Hope you enjoy!

~

Ever since the two started dating, about six months ago, their friends simply would never shut up about it. Sarada definitely took after her father in a sense of not liking public displays of affection, so she would tend to completely dismiss offhanded inquiries, and even refused to hold Boruto’s hand in public. As someone who aspired to be Hokage some day, she needed to make sure to have a clean reputation.

Boruto understood and respected this… well, to an extent. His playful demeanor definitely would get the best of him. One day, the 17-year-old blond was downtown with Shikadai, Inojin, and Mitsuki.

“Hey, Boruto, there’s Sarada.” Shikadai nodded forward, the opposite direction that Boruto was facing.

Sarada, walking with Chouchou while carrying a shopping bag, seemed to not notice her boyfriend.

An evil smirk spread across his face, “Guys, watch this.”

“That doesn’t sound good…” Inojin chuckled as his friend stealthily walked behind Sarada.

When the time was just right, when she was at just the right angle, Boruto swiftly wrapped his arms around Sarada and pulled her to his chest with a loud, “Gotcha!” followed by very noisy raspberries and kisses to her cheek and neck.

The Uchiha instinctively yelped into the sudden hold, ready to kill, until she realized it was just her boyfriend. Her face flushed red as she stood completely still, not reacting at all.

“Eh? Sarada? You okay, babe?” Boruto quirked his eyebrows up in confusion as he leaned over her shoulder to examine her face.

Then he saw stars.

Sarada reached around with an explosive “SHANNAROOO!” before sending Boruto flying back a good few meters. Angrily, she turned around, and stomped away from her now scared-shitless boyfriend, huffing as their friends burst into laughter. Even Mitsuki was smiling.

A few hours later, she received about ten text messages with apologies.

Boruto: baaaaabe cmon talk to me. im sorry :( Sarada: You know I don’t like that. Boruto: but youre so cute how can i resist huggin you? Sarada: You’re so annoying, how can I resist punching you? Boruto: okay fair enough… how bout i make it up to you? date night, tonight. ill even treat ya to something better than burgers Sarada: Woah, not burgers? I’m in. Boruto: perfect :) ill pick you up at six? Sarada: That works Boruto: okay. see you soon babe. I love you.

Sarada’s heart fluttered and she couldn’t help but to smile and bite her lower lip.

Sarada: I love you too. See you tonight.

“Huh? What are you smiling so much about?” Sakura chuckled as she balanced a laundry basket on her hip, “Texting Boruto?”

“Y-yeah…” The young Uchiha’s face flushed read, “Anyways, is it okay if I go out tonight? Did you have anything planned for dinner?”

“Nothing special. I don’t mind if you go.” Sakura smiled, “Just be home before midnight.”

~ Their date went normally, after eating at Sarada’s favorite curry place, they ended up going to see a comedy Boruto’s had his eyes on for a while. Unfortunately, due to training with Sasuke and missions, he hasn’t had the time. It was probably one of the last showings, so he was glad they were able to see it. Because of the movie being release months ago, the theater was empty. Comfortable with being alone, Sarada nuzzled her head onto his shoulder about fifteen minutes into the movie.  This time, Boruto was blushing. He smoothly wrapped his arm around her shoulder to bring her closer. The rest of the movie went like this – laughing at specific queues, making snide remarks for more laughter, and overall just being comfortable in each other’s arms.

It was now nine, and the brisk fall weather made Sarada shiver. Boruto immediately removed his own jacket and put it around her shoulders.

“Boruto, I don’t need it.” She chuckled, “Besides, I don’t live that far away.”

“Well, I was actually thinking maybe you would want to come over? No one’s home.” He quirked his eyebrows up in a suggestive manner, making Sarada roll her eyes.

“I’ll come over, but then you’ll be cold the walk over there…”

“You’ll just have to warm me up when we get there, then.”

~

Boruto fell onto his bed breathing heavily. Sarada turned to face him, panting herself. Once their heart rates returned to normal they immediately started cuddling.

“What time is it?” She murmured into his chest, too exhausted to move. Boruto turned his head towards the digital clock in his room.

“Just past 10:30, so we have an hour before you need to leave.”

“Mmm.” It was her tired way of saying ‘okay’.

After a few moments of silence, she glanced up at him, “Hey, babe?”

“Yeah?”  

“I’m sorry for punching you earlier.”

He snorted, “I deserved it. I know your boundaries, and I crossed them.”

“I know…” She sighed, “But I shouldn’t have gotten so mad. Do you forgive me?”

“If you keep doing what you did about twenty minutes ago, you could cut off my arm and I’d forgive you.” Boruto gave her a seductive smirk, Sarada playfully smacking his chest in response.

“Dork.” They both chuckled into the kiss she gave him, her thumbs grazing the scar on his right eye, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Sarada.”

The two fell asleep, until the alarm on Sarada’s phone went off, signaling their night was over.

~

The next day, while hanging out, Shikadai, Inojin, and Chouchou couldn’t help but to smile as they saw Boruto and Sarada walking side-by-side. Sarada had her hands behind her back, Boruto’s in his pockets. They were smiling, talking about something the other three couldn’t hear.

“Looks like she wasn’t too mad at him.” Inojin smiled.

“It was probably the make-up sex.” Chouchou snickered while chewing on a consome chip.

“Careful, you’ll be the next one she punches.” Shikadai yawned, “I’m glad it wasn’t serious. Boruto’s complaining about it yesterday was a pain. He should know better, or at least be used to it by now.”

They all could agree, they were happy the two truly cared about each other.  

[shytiff]

Nov 2021

1 - PIS-PK with teh nabila @ kebon dalem. finished at 11. saw an SJS case that was initially told to be herpes. changed my bike brakes and oil (130k). Prof whatsapped me that a PPT that will be presented at 14 Nov was supposed to be submitted the day after tomorrow, also with abstract lol. felt anxious but chill at the same time (?). i also get to be alone at mess for a bit. it was raining. worked on Prof’s PPT. an unknown number called and it turned out to be hansel. of course people calls when sumn to do.  Bought double shot kopi soe low fat bcs i was afraid of falling asleep. it was rly acidic for me, and within a few gulps my stomach started reacting. slept at 12-1ish. 

2 - MTBS. bought kanayam for lunch, dinner (and spoiler alert 2mrw’s bfast). video called with kris in pkm. he called me again just as im about to rly finish this ppt. thank god i finished it. still had some energy to do abstract but i cant bring myself to do it. so i just slept. 

3 - did abstract in the morning. it took ~30 mins lol. but maybe i cant think as clearly the night before. BP. solid’s bukang arrived for some of us. i still have to do the revision for that pancreatic Ca ppt. i ended up reading some fanfic, yubisaki to renren and fell asleep. woke up at like 11:30 pm ish, with my stomach bloated til the point of pain. made myself some warm matcha latte. tri was also awake and she bought nasgor at like 1 am. did that revision but cant bring myself to finish it even thought i still have energy. i laid down and read killugon fic.

4 - fell asleep. had a bit of sleep paralysis in my hand. cooked spinach and egg in the morning. KIA today with bu mutiah. thank god its chill bcs i get to quickly finish that revision bcs Prof chatted me AGAIN omg i feel bad. with his emails this will be the 3rd time he reminded me. thankfully he’s super kind and patient, and i have to be grateful for meeting kind people in life. bought nasi kebuli with rabeg sapi for lunch, with chicken and telur balado for later. Tried croffle from Rumah Kalingga and i also bought frozen risol. the risol was quite fulfilling. the croffle did not have that croissant feature lol. 

5 - my dumb ass sent the wrong PPT to Prof, so i fixed it and sent what hopefully is the last one. Posyandu kb. dalem with bu vivi and bu ade. got free food for bfast and lunch hehe. stayed in mess. check in pwkt. Zoom with dr eva and kak rayhan. i need to pull myself togetherrr. bought 2 500ml coffee and bread from roti o for 39k lol. but i did not drink the coffee that day. i shouldve lol. i just slept

6 - mtbs today alone. ppl offered for me to move to BP but i love being alone and not having to interact lolll. tried to follow along to APICD webinar. attended bu ningrum daughter’s wedding with iship peeps in madison avenue, citangkil. drank rotio coffee to curb the sleepiness and managed to finish the word narration for Prof’s PPT in one sitting. fried the risol and frozen karage for dinner. suddenly had the urge to study lol webinars make me wanna study

7 - jogged a bit. saw stuff in CFD. originally wanted roti canai but it was full of queue so i only got kerupuk kulit. smelled the frozen chicken breast i bought ((i dont even remember WHEN)) and it smelled awfully sour and funky. so there goes my 20k. lesson learned: i dont even have the commitment to cook the food staples i bought myself,,,. APICD webinar. searched for kak tika’s package. ill try again 2mrw. bought wingstop. laid down while listening to webinar and i fell asleep in the important part of ECG :””” but managed to listen to the 2/3 rest of the total workshop. some caffeine sip to hopefullly give me courage. searched videos to put in Prof’s PPT. 

8  - searched the package from kak tika in KS. thankfully its there. kak tika gave me Al-Quran and chocolates. lots of chocolates. i hope i can read more quran. leftover wingstop for bfast at pkm. posyandu kotabumi (rly close to mess!) w teh yuyun. she offered a ngamen opportunity in klinik tri husada. afternoon nap. a looot of denial until i finally opened dr eva’s work again, trying to move things along. it takes a lot of thinking and staring into nothing. but i guess there’s some mental progress (?). accompanied by rotio hazelnut coffee. still cant help myself so i played cafe white noise by 4AM Around the World. it has that sbux vibe minus the coffee smell. got boxed rice from fitri yay. always grateful for free foods. kind ppl inspire me to become a better person

9 - poli MTBS accompanied by red candy. dr eva said i can go to the next chap and suddenly i feel reinvigorated lol. sent her the revision i did for the last paragraph. my head hurts and its probable asking for some cofveve lol. didnt do anything useful even though i shouldve

10 - posyandu tegal bunder with bu elisna. saw two underweight twin neonates. nasi kotak for lunch yay. dinner was sponsored by renata uyey. another coffee withdrawal headache. fell asleep while reading ff

11 - bfast is sponsored by bang esa’s wife. BP umum with bu ade. had nasi padang for lunch. talked about BL w nessa while we’re the only one upstairs lol. did some exercise together with ren ness. drank the last of my roti O coffee and shit you not, the headache vanished. did Prof’s PPT and sent one. 

12 - KIA with bu mutiah and bu imas. ate at RM bu mamak with bu ade, teh ayi, mendel. we all wore black top and jeans for hari kesehatan nasional, so we did some ‘photoshoot’ and tiktok creating at puskesmas lol. bought ayam bakar together with renata. 

13 - MTBS w mendel. met kak tania 2013 and her child who came for mantoux. turns out she lives in BMW. Prof called out of the blue and turns out there will be plenty of stuff that i have to make. juggled that call with meeting dr anita for my “ngamen” at klinik tri husada. ended the call with Prof in front of dr anita. Some introduction on the clinic. did not make it back to mess bcs its already 12 ish. hurriedly packed and showered to leave to jkt. waited for arimbi but a primajasa kb jeruk showed up so i tried that. attempted zoom with dr eva (in the bus) that ended due to terrible signal. it was raining in kb jeruk. ate seirockya extreme in puri. its goddamn delicious due to the cold hunger and fatigue. picked up a pepperoni pizza from pizza e birra. it rains when going to devi’s. met up with thal dajen lau racheel dev. played some games (splendor, sushi go, exploding kitten). ate martabak orins omg i miss it. slept over at devi’s place. 

14 - off to AR at 9-ish. when i arrived, grandma was sleeping, bou lia was showering, and the others are in living world lmao. showered and basked the silence. ate mom’s spaghetti. mom just laughed when she saw my hair. ‘listened’ to APICD while playing twitter. bou lia bought me matcha xiboba! assessed om amin bcs he’s having tremor. just lazed in the house, basically. lost my mood of going to bdg bcs mom said we will just go ‘pulang hari’. 

15 - off from home 5:33 and arrived at 7. mom made lots of frozen food that are ready to heat. posyandu with bu vivi in kebon dalem. there’s also reps from krakatau medika. lotss of laundry to do. so much that the machine can barely spin. read kaiju no 8. matcha latte. 

16 - posbindu w nessa bu elis teh dina. Te tekwan and bacang made by bu kader. Had a good nap in pwkt. Got fissure in my inner mouth and it hurts huft. Tried to finish PPTs with near dates so i can moveon to the next work. Slept at 12ish.

17 - BP with bu ade. Sent the PPT to Prof. Can finally relax for a bit. Exercised to pamela reif's vids. Ordered wingstop. Read some fanfic and fell asleep aaaa syit did nothing today. I shouldve started literature searching

18 - PIS-PK in tegal bunder with teh nabs (who didnt bring her motorbike so its a good thing i did). back to mess and had some nap and lunch. shareloc at purwakarta. tried kopsus from kopi baja. taste kinda weird but the music playing is bomb (kurosuke, sore, sal, and some other chill vibes that just make me more sleepy). tried to search some stuff for the proposal. off to klinik tri husada. teteh2 bidan were very kind and welcoming. nisa chatted me and she said it was ok for me to come with them in bdg so yay. immediately bought travel ticket. was given nasgor, martabak and rujak jeruk bali. 

19 - originally posyandu with teh Vivi, but it was cancelled so we went for home visit. It finished quickly yay. went to mess. relaxed, ate and packed. took maxim back to pwkt. nebeng zihan to go to damkar. took primajasa to jkt and read assorted wilderness along the way. waited for mom in puri and i bought jiwa toast (26k with gofood pickup) while waiting. arrived maghrib at home. zoom meeting w dr eva and kak rayhan. finished the assorted wilderness manhwa lol. fell asleep without even showering and still in my scrubs lmao

20 - showered. packed for bandung. left at 8 and arrived at almost 12. tried to finish up Prof’s PPT on the way. lunch at ibis trans studio. lamaran bang ido with teh ghina in buah batu. ate again there. rested in the hotel for a bit. ate at sangkan hurip 2, the same place as tafakur alam trip. it was as if there’s AC. back in the hotel at 10-ish pm and i got a room for myself. i laid there, sheet mask on. trying to relax and be grateful for the blessings in life. its really cold and cozy. 

21 - breakfast in the hotel. packed my stuff. lunch at kampung daun. checked in at papandayan hotel, 2 km away from ibis. the family swam except for kak owi, bang ido, nisa and me. i relaxed in the reclining chair, taking in the pretty sky and chilly wind. the girls and i went to braga (tried sweet cantina ice cream), cici claypot and primarasa. bang ido was calling us asking if we need to be picked up lol. 

22 - woke up at 5. prepared to leave. said goodbye. bang ido drove me to buah batu pool and waited until i can enter the Hiace. and then i left at 7. i was weeping on the way back thinking of kind people and great time and thought and contemplated that i wrote sumn on my tumblr. read love for sale on the way. arrived in mess at 12. it was raining a bit. tidied up my stuff. laid down and read Payback lol. napped. woke. ate. slept again. I should’ve did something productive aaaaaaaa its a constant struggle of mine.

23 - BIAS at sd purwakarta with bu sektah. injected 20 kids. finished at 10. cooked veggies and made matcha latte in mess. went back to pwkt. gave kue balok box to bu aroh. mendel and i made the poster for evapro cibeber. tried to get some progress on Prof’s S1 lecture

24 - BP umum with bang esa. bujing lia gojeked me janjiw matcha and toast. watched color me true. in denial to start dr Eva’s chapterbook. 

25 - MTBS today. watched Color Me True. Rested a bit. off to klinik tri husada. there was a patient with hyperglycemic crisis. did some work on dr eva’s book so there’s that. not gonna change the draft for now.

26 - BP umum w nessa. did laundry. ate superbubur alone in MTBS. zoom meeting with Prof and HCRC. evening stroll with renata in the hidden part of palm hills. supposed to do PPT but i ended up sleeping

27 - my throat hurts when swallowing huft. BP umum w nessa again. watched The Witch. basically just laid down and slept. ate indomie. still havent started Prof’s PPT

28 - cannot bring myself to do my sunday run. finally pulled myself together and showered. basically started the day at noon lol. off to jannor. it was raining there. pulled some decent progress. went back when the rain stopped but it turns out it rains in simpang. continued the ppt. ok a liiittle bit more to go. 

29 - KIA w bu sekta (who i wrongly thought was bu mutiah). asked for MP at pharmacy. got to finish the rest of the (eng) ppt. sent it to Prof. kanayam for lunch. napped again in mess. started translating the ppt to indo. it was a lot huft. finished it at 10-ish. continued the second half of The Witch. 

30 - MTBS w bang esa. home visit with teh erlina to the twin babies i checked at posyandu a while back. one of the baby passed away last night. tried driving manual again with bang esa’s car. he was a patient instructor lol. duplicated the mess key. seblak for dinner to scratch my throat. i should’ve done something useful today but its a chatty night and suddenly its 8 pm lol. have to sleep a bit early.

[alittlesimp]

tysm for the tag req ily <33

why did you choose your url?

i. im a massive simp.

any sideblogs?

@littlefry for meme reblogs :3

how long have you been on tumblr for?

so i started my first (now deleted) tumblr blog six years ago when i was 12, left when i was 15 and now im back again! i made this one in january i think, but i didn't start writing and posting regularly until i thinnnk late april or begin may? never done fanfics before tho 😳!!

do you have a queue tag?

#queueueueue but i don't use it a lot

why did you start your blog in the first place?

i really wanted to get back into writing (used to write oc stuff hehe) so i made this blog! originally it was meant to be a multifandom blog but im too comfortable with just writing for bsd to change it up and write for more fandoms loll

how many followers do you have?

117

how many people do you follow?

266 but my dash is fucking dead so ill unfollow some inactive ppl soon :')

have you ever made a shitpost?

yes <3 you can find most of them here

how often do you use tumblr everyday?

i pretty much always have a tab open on my pc and before going to sleep i'll scroll through it on my phone a bit

did you ever have a fight/argument with a blog before?

no (on this one) but come and fight me LMAO /j

how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

i really don't like the guilt trippy stuff, but if its for a good cause ill usually reblog it/look for a similar post with more info and less guilttripping LOL

do you like ask/tag games?

yes! i love them :)) i dont always do them, especially picrew ones because i always fucking. forget. and then its a week later and im like mmm oh yeah i had a picrew to make :') also i usually get tagged when im asleep so then other notes kind of flood them :')

which one of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

rai @/whorefordazai

do you have a crush on a mutual?

yes. if you are my mutual i have a crush on you. come here hotties mwah <33 (but like a fr crush? no lol)

tagging @kiyokoxd @missrown @jessbeinme15 go besties <3

hello hello i was tagged by the ever wonderful @ladislavaa for this tag game!! tysm for the tag i care you so much 💕

-> why did you choose your url?

hoo boy. there’s about… three different references in it, ones i’m not quite willing to explain because i will out myself as a enormous nerd. but it’s subtle enough that most people won’t get it so it’s ok. so i chose it because of the amount of references i could fit in it without it seeming overt.

-> any sideblogs?

i have. a lot. if you look at my bio for my main, there’s a list of sideblogs i have. a dead writing one, some dead ask blogs, an au blog i need to get back to now that school isn’t actively kicking me in the face… and a dimitri one from fire emblem that’s currently thriving now that i’ve revived it. anyways i have a lot of dead ones but i’m fond of them so they’ll stay there.

-> how long have you been on tumblr for?

since july of 2018! the three year mark of my time here on tumblr is coming up and i honestly didn’t expect time to go by so fast. sure i haven’t been here as much as other people, but i’ve enjoyed my time here! for the most part.

-> do you have a queue tag?

nope! not for my main! my ask blogs do, but not this one.

-> why did you start your blog in the first place?

honestly i just wanted to find a place that was fandom-centric so i could meet more people who had similar interests to me. it sounds so cheesy now that i think about it, but i really did just want some friends who had similar interests as me because a lot of the ones i had at the time didn’t.

-> how many followers do you have?

244 as of right now! but i know a good chunk of them are p-rn bots that i’ve reported and blocked over the years, so i’m not sure if that’s an accurate measure of my followers or not. i don’t know why so many people follow me anyways i just spam reblog things lol.

-> how many people do you follow?

336 currently, i kind of have this ‘if i like them, i’ll follow them’ mentality and hope i don’t come off as weird to the people i start following randomly.

-> have you ever made a shitpost?

oh yeah, probably. i’m not very well known for making original posts though, so they kinda just sit in the void that is my blog. i don’t mind, it just means that people won’t see the silly little clown words come directly from my brain.

-> how often do you use tumblr everyday?

probably more than i should. i’ve noticed myself spend a lot less time on it recently, but that’s probably because i’ve been busy. i don’t spend all of my time here though, and that’s good enough for me.

-> did you ever have a fight/argument with a blog before?

ehh, i wouldn’t call it a fight. a little spat here and there, maybe, but that hasn’t happened in some time and at this point i’d prefer not to get involved with people who aren’t worth the effort.

-> how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

i don’t really like the idea of them because of how much guilt tripping they do. sure they’re about important topics, but there’s better ways to raise awareness than to guilt trip people into talking about it. they make me anxious if i’ll be honest, and that’s not great.

-> do you like ask/tag games?

oh i LOVE those, please if anyone wants to tag me in stuff or ask me questions please go for it!! i love talking to people here and interacting in general! i won’t judge you for wanting to ask me stuff or anything, honestly i feel like the weird one for being so enthusiastic about it lol.

-> which one of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

oh for sure i think it’s @/kiiingsnake and @/jamblute. i honestly have no idea why they’re my mutuals and i’m too afraid to tag them in anything (including this). ;-;

-> do you have a crush on a mutual?

eh, no. i love my mutuals, but as friends. also i’m on the aro spectrum so attraction who?? they’re all wonderful people though and i appreciate them.

and that’s it folks! thanks for letting me ramble (somewhat) unprompted. i shall tag @pecha-cake @blackcliff-typewriter @doriduckdoodles @agent–shade and anyone else who wants to do it!!

[ashenworth]

oops i fell asleep so early last night i forgot to set up a queue lmao ill do that later tonight

for now, while i take a break from working and such, im gonna dump some simon story stuff here bc i feel like it :) this will just be rambling and not like actual good writing or anything lmao im just copying from my discord so (aa5 spoilers ahead!)

okay so ~Simon~ right

when Ashen meets him for the first time, bc of Ashen’s Very Cool Attorney Gimmick, they’re able to figure out very quickly that through his rough and intimidating exterior, he’s actually very caring and that he’s hiding something big from the world. in turn, they become fairly interested in him and his story (although its not like they would be able to approach him and talk to him or anything bc you know. he’s in prison for murder so they kinda just watch from the sidelines)

and theeeeeeeeen finally, the UR-1 case is solved and the Phantom is caught. Simon has been released after 7 years in prison. he’s finally free

he and Athena are absolutely roommates and nothing will change that in my mind. like, Athena was already living in a place big enough for the two of them from the beginning bc that was her plan

Simon takes a week or so to just live. he narrowly missed his execution date and he’s relishing in being able to sleep in a normal bed and just be alive, even if that means spending a whole day on the couch watching shitty movies or whatever

in the meantime, Athena is scouring the internet and local travel brochures, building up an itinerary for the two of them to explore the city and for Simon to learn about all the things he’s missed during his time in prison

one day, at the WAA, Athena is working on exactly that, her desk becoming a complete mess of notebooks and magazines, when Ashen comes over to talk to her and asks her what she’s doing

when Athena explains her plans, Ashen’s eyes light up, and they ask Athena if she had maybe thought about this store that isnt too far from the office, or that coffee shop that seems to be the only one who knows how to properly make espresso. they ramble for a while about their favourite places to go in the city and Athena jumps to her feet. she decides that Ashen should come with them, because they seem to know the area much better than Athena does (considering she was in Europe for some time). Ashen declines at first, not wanting to intrude on their time together (after all its been seven fucking YEARS)

Athena insists, stating it will be good for Simon to talk to someone outside of work who isnt a felon or Athena herself. Ashen gives in, although reluctant bc there’s no guarantee that Simon will even want to talk to them in a friendly way

the day comes and BOY does it start out awkward. Simon doesnt really talk much, and when he does, it’s addressed to Athena or its a one off comment during whatever conversation is taking place. slowly but surely, though, he starts to come out of his shell and enjoy himself, even going so far as to tell Ashen embarrassing stories about Athena from when they were younger, much to her dismay.

the sun is starting to set and they’ve visited the last place that was on Athena’s list. they’ve gone to all sorts of different places. restaurants, bookstores, arcades, etc. you name it and they spent at least five minutes there. Ashen has one more place in mind, and it’s not too far from their current position

they arrive, and Ashen swears they saw a twinkle in Simon’s eyes. or at least, as much as one could with his bangs in the way. they take that as a victory and start walking ahead and into the grass.

they explain to the two dumbfounded siblings that although this may be just a park, it also happens to be the best place for bird watching in the entire city. just one glance can confirm that, as even without a set of binoculars, you can see birds everywhere of all different shapes and sizes. nestled in the tree branches and hopping around in the grass.

Ashen approaches Simon and explains that they weren’t quite sure if he liked a specific type of bird or not, but since this happens to be a place they frequent often, it might be a good idea to show it to him. Simon stutters for a moment, before managing to get out that no, he likes all birds, and he thanks them for bringing him here, saying that he thinks the place is beautiful, and theres no doubt he will be back in the future

the three of them place themselves on a bench and just watch the various birds go about their lives. every once in a while, Simon will point one out and tell Athena and Ashen about it in detail. Athena can hear the pure excitement in his voice that ends up masked by his somewhat gruff demeanour and makes a mental note to thank Ashen in private later.

Ashen listens intently to every word he says. they ask him various questions about each bird and absorb as much information as they can from his vast knowledge of the animal. although, they end up getting a little distracted by how cute he sounds as he speaks

when the sun goes down, they call it a day. Ashen goes back to their apartment with a full heart and, if they’re being honest, some feelings to work through

little do they know, Simon does as well.

[crazy-purple-kitten]

not just ready to become a person again do that art i was gonna post tonight might have to wait another day

ill try to do it later or queue it for when im asleep

and theres stuff im working on rn that might be today but its just ocs ;))

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Heyo boo Ali: thanks for Rocky wrangling with me today, you're now also his fave so, add that to your tally Carly: its k i had fun Carly: hes a cutie & cool kid Ali: me too Ali: yeah, he's alright, but cocky enough so I ain't telling him Ali: dunno where he gets that from 😏 Carly: ha Carly: yea idk Carly: no clue Ali: i'm sorry Ro was being off btw, I'm working out why but trust it wasn't you, babe Ali: been neglecting her lately, everyone wants a piece of me Ali: hard life Carly: idc its me too Carly: nobody wants a piece but you Ali: I just told you that ain't true, and Rocky is ruthless, he called one of my customers a 'big bum witch' the other day Ali: no tip for me, thanks dickhead Ali: but I want all of you regardless Ali: willing to throw hands Carly: aw Carly: this town is full of big bum witches tho Carly: my ma back for one Carly: but are you willing to use those hands for good too or Ali: awks if that was your Ma, like hey gurl, I think you rock it Ali: your daughter ain't bad either Ali: you know it, IOU 'cos we couldn't make like we were in the backrow of the cinema Carly: unless she been lying about where she at i think youve avoided meeting the in laws again Carly: k cuz you kno i need to collect soon Carly: bored Carly: just back and zoned out so fast Ali: ain't even got exciting stories from their galavanting? fucking rude Ali: at least when we go AWOL we also go wild Ali: make things happen, lads Carly: my ma's good for nothing but hairspray and peroxide Carly: only use if i get beat up again Carly: my da's good for cash tho if you wanna get wild w me Ali: or you wanna single white female me Ali: which would be a disappointing outcome to say the least Ali: can't tonight babe, I've gotta have some sister time Ali: go hard for both of us Carly: k Carly: try not to miss me bad when shes talking about me Ali: oh babe, she will not, and if she does I'll set her straight Ali: gonna let the world know you're my 😇 Carly: whatever her issue shes gotta air it and youre her sister so you gotta hear it Carly: idc shes not gonna hurt me w it Carly: and setting peeps straight is the opposite of how you do, babe Ali: true Ali: idk what issue she could have though, you're a literal ray of sunshine Ali: true again 😏 Ali: ugh, imma miss you Ali: maybe i can sneak out when she's gone to bed, the 'rents too Carly: i miss you now Carly: cant hear my parents say shit Carly: i just wanna talk to you Carly: dont tell me maybe & keep me waiting tho Ali: i will Ali: promise Carly: i dont wanna make trouble for you Carly: w anyone Carly: you can stay w her if you need to stay Ali: You won't Ali: I can do both Ali: be back before first light Ali: even if I'll miss watching the sun rise on your face 😔 Ali: we've got the night, baby Carly: but you kno if ive got you for the whole night youre gonna fall asleep Carly: thats what im good at Carly: feel free to tell your sister thats why you like me ha Carly: fun & tiring its magic Ali: hmm, we'll see who wears who out first, babe Ali: and if I am that husband, then you'll just have to wake me up with morning sex like the good little wifey you are 😘😂 Carly: always bringing that confidence i like it Carly: k but if my parents wake up too you can explain its a duty thing yea i had to like Ali: i like you Ali: for so many reasons and imma show you all of 'em tonight Ali: fuck that Ali: stay out with me, its warm enough Ali: i'll trace all the constellations out with my tongue so you won't ever forget Ali: educational Carly: my ma is asking me what im blushing about Carly: i told her what you said but she's not a believer Carly: support my education bitch Carly: ha Ali: i mean, i'd offer to let her see the benefits for herself but Ali: not gonna win me any brownie points 'cos she won't take me up on it Carly: she dont kno what she's missing but i do Carly: wish you were here Ali: me too Ali: start the party without me babe, i don't mind Carly: too late if you do Carly: gotta get through this reunion some way Ali: they aren't making you watch a slideshow, are they? Ali: fate worse than death Ali: Maybe you could go to Ronan's? Lmao, he's been up in my pussy way too much since he found out about us...didn't think we were THAT loud but ok boy Carly: yea Carly: might do cuz same Carly: but what if i miss you he can really make a night of it when he wants Ali: Nah, I won't let you face that disappointment, babe Ali: my spidey senses will tingle like not on my watch, fuckboy Carly: aw Carly: you gonna come get me? Carly: thats no way to get him out your pussy babe fyi Ali: yeah Ali: I know but I like the idea of showing you off as mine Ali: but no sharing, he only gets to watch and be mad he fucked it up Carly: i like it too Carly: youre hot when youre oneupping fuckboys Carly: i thought i knew how to do it best but k youre flipping the script Ali: as long as i'm besting them i'm doing my job right Ali: gotta keep you on-board Carly: speak of the devil Carly: how he know i was alone & horny Carly: my parents have only gone to the shops its uncanny Ali: know your neighbours but bit stalkerish, pal Ali: i'll text him to fuck off, freak him out Ali: how does she know, ha, two can play this game fucko and I'm more committed Carly: ha Carly: you gotta Carly: hes smoking im gonna bum one see what line he tries to lay on before the text sends Ali: On it Ali: gotta let him know there's a queue to court the princess now and he's at the back, soz Carly: he likes hitting it from the back he wont be put off Carly: im gonna show him some of the hot pics i took of you tho Ali: when is he ever tbf? 🐶👅💦 Carly: true Carly: that fucking cute tho aren't i Ali: you know it babe Carly: hes talking to my da now Carly: kill me Ali: how fucking dare he Ali: knowing he has the upper hand with the man bants Ali: i know how to change a tire too! love me! Carly: if my ma invites him in for tea im out of here Carly: she will think hes hot under the collar for her & bitch thats my groundwork Ali: Run baby run Ali: what kinda moron is he tho Ali: coulda had a private show if you just waited, now its all saturday night telly and flat lager Carly: you kno i have nowhere to go if you dont want me babe Carly: facts Carly: he likes me now he cant have me what a fucking Carly: like i wouldve fucked you but im not getting w you Ali: i do, is this full sos crisis mode though? 'cos i need to be good for a lil while longer yet Ali: such a typical bloke move that Ali: bet he ain't the only boy in ur inbox, not a pun Ali: 'cos he ain't in mine like 🙄 Carly: its k your sister needs you Carly: i can keep walking Carly: loads of other lads on site as well as in my inbox Carly: & they arent trying to say hi to me before we get down to it nevermind my parents Ali: 😾 Carly: why so sad blue eyed boo Ali: i don't like how lads treat you Ali: i'm not jealous, like swear to god, even though i obviously want you all to myself, i get it Ali: but i'm not about how shit they are to you, even if you don't care, they should care to be decent humans Carly: thats not lads its everyone Carly: youre the only one treating me different Carly: they dont know how else to be Carly: made my bed babe Ali: nah Ali: you don't deserve half the shit you get, that's bullshit Ali: and even the rest, people just don't wanna try to understand or be good, heaven forfend they inconvineince themselves for one second, like Carly: if im a slag im a slag i dont get to put conditions on it Carly: if it was a film maybe Carly: but theres no romance coming my way from theres and i dont want it Ali: why can't you just be you? someone who likes fucking, among other things Ali: not romance just like...not being a cunt Ali: idk Ali: pisses me off Carly: cuz you don't run the world even tho you strut it like you do and i love it Ali: not yet, babe Ali: one day, and you can be my right hand woman Carly: yea? Carly: take me w you & ill take you to all your fave places k Ali: k Ali: we'll be fun forever, I promise you Carly: gotta be Ali: you know i like you even when you ain't tho Ali: don't tell Carly: who would i Carly: ronans got enough for his wank bank & nobody else is chatting to me rn Ali: exactly, ruins the illusion and fantasy when they realise i care about you Ali: so unsexy of me Carly: youre sexy to me Carly: idc what they think Ali: good Ali: me either Carly: i like you too you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i had my suspicions Carly: i dont have any subtlety sorry about it Ali: Don't be Ali: I love it Ali: not enough people say what they mean or want, ever Carly: waste Carly: k i wasnt shouting how bad i wanted to kiss you before i did but not cuz i was bothered about me Ali: agreed Ali: sometimes you can't know you want something until you've got it Ali: i get it Carly: you get me Carly: its weird Ali: 🔮 Carly: ha Carly: k what am i thinking now Ali: wouldn't be proper to say Ali: tut tut bad girl Ali: like how you think though Carly: fuck Carly: youre good Ali: 🤷 don't mean to brag but remember that phrase you'll be screaming it later Ali: such a Ronan line, I can't 😂 Carly: but true Carly: not like when he says it Ali: 😍 Carly: what you doing w your sister Carly: gotta live through that cuz bored Ali: Fixing my weave Ali: getting into a white girl dread territory over here Ali: then gonna do some 🔮 forreal Ali: get ready for me to be even more of a know it all baby Carly: cute Carly: tell me my future i got some shit from another neighbor & im waiting for it to kick Carly: hows it gonna treat me Carly: needing a good trip Ali: we'll see who gets the answer first Ali: you got anything for me? Carly: yea Carly: they mystery but i kno you arent scared Carly: & you got me doing a test run rn lying on here on the grass Ali: 🌌 be there before it fades away my space explorer Carly: if you find me at a bad end prob dont take it Ali: is one of the lads trip sitting you Carly: so he reckons but hes drinking so theres no trust Carly: & he gave me it Carly: his game could be me lights out idk Ali: keep texting me, okay babe? Ali: if shit gets too real, tell me and I'll come early Ali: my sis is cool now, she gets what we're doing, she was just confused Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Carly: you told her you like me Ali: 'course I did Ali: I ain't ashamed Ali: I'm proud Carly: youre gonna make me cry Ali: You're special, Carly Ali: You're gonna see Carly: I just wanna see you tho Ali: Me too Ali: I'm gonna make her some chamomile tea and then I'm coming, yeah? Carly: but thats not fair to her Carly: she's not gonna be a fan of me Ali: I've promised her more time tomorrow Ali: You need me rn Carly: but what if i want you to stay Carly: what are we gonna do then Ali: i'll stay until you're ready for me to go Carly: you mean that? Ali: yes Ali: promise, imma take care of you Carly: but theres nothing in it for you Carly: youve already got me you dont have to Ali: i wanna keep you Ali: and not just selfishly Ali: you gotta stick around, you're too cool to go anywhere, okay Carly: k Carly: im here & if you wanna be im not stopping you Ali: good Ali: i wanna be wherever you are Carly: i kept you pills back the lads didnt want me to but idc about them & you can follow me in now Ali: fuck them Ali: just me and you Carly: yea Carly: ill look after you too Ali: 😇 Ali: i know, i trust you Carly: idk if you should Carly: but i like it Ali: willing to take my chances Ali: you're worth it Carly: thats you Ali: i'm so glad i met you Carly: me too Carly: not that i met me thats weird Carly: you know what i mean Ali: i got you Ali: not high yet 😉 Carly: id seen you around before you guardian angel'd me that night Carly: thats weird too Carly: that i didnt see you how i do now Ali: it is Ali: you were always cute but Ali: idk, i can't claim to have seen this in my crystal ball Carly: thats cuz i wasnt cute i was a state Carly: & youd have more likely seen me sucking ronans dick Carly: look away babe you dont need to have that image in your mind Ali: don't need him reckoning he plays part in any of my fantasies, nah Ali: you can't not be cute, no matter how you try, soz babe Carly: you can't not be so sweet to me can you Ali: dunno Ali: not tried Carly: idk what id do if you did Carly: i got used to it Ali: got no plans to stop Ali: unless you ask me to, like Carly: thats not gonna be what i ask you to do Carly: trust me Ali: you can tell me all about it Ali: 5 minutes, tops Carly: okay