#im ranting. I do apologize

[rustedbread]

You ever have to drink to quench your thirst whenever your body cannot house said fluid? it's torture oh vessel that houses me, I cannot appease you, for we lack the ability I will force myself to give in to your will, not by mine, but by your frustratingly stern guidance that I've learned is complete doctrine However in the act of giving in to the very will you beg of me, you ask for more, more that I cannot supply, as we are already burdened with what we haven't processed, we cannot take in more. I am left to be in complete unquenchable thirst a feeling only meant to be housed in hours where I am meant to consume but I am not allowed that luxury I thirst, yet I'm full a truly, truly bizarre paradox in my eyes it's not paradoxical in true nature but the merit is there and it is as jarring to me as hungering whenever there is no ability to consume

[wintermav]

Poolverine out of context…either they have a pain kink or they just like getting tied up…or both? Let’s do both.

[theythemmer]

Parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched.

[ganondoodle]

(oh hey, we didnt have a long rant in a while, this wasnt supposed to be so long, as per usual with me ... i looked up some refs of the botw sonau ruins since i wanted to see how to combine its design to my sonau design in my totk rewrite- and this happened ... in case this sounds too angry or aggressive, its not meant like that, im not imploding about it, its just frustrating and annoying to me)

i have a problem with pretty much every inch of totk, and theres lots of big problems, and lots of things i find absolutely bafflingly stupid decisions-

one bafflingly weird and stupid decision to me, though there are way more important ones, is the nigh complete seperation from botw sonau (zonai) design aesthetic and totk sonau design aesthetic- its so .. weird and utterly unecessary it will never stop bothering me, its one that has relatively little impact in development but huge impact on the believability of the world

you have these ancient ruins of long gone people (that imo should have stayed a mystery, since that sense of lost history you cannot grasp makes both the world more believable and real feeling and will never let you stop thinking about, if you care about that kind of stuff at least- but i talked about that in length before im sure), but whats left leaves you still with a pretty clear design aesthetic, at least in the buildings that remain (the armor less so bc it really doesnt look like anythign ancient and just doesnt really fit together)

and then you make a game around them- but ... completely redesign their aesthetic .... in a rather big contrast too, for literally NO reason, there is not a single reason to do that, not even the excuse of trying to seperate the two games in their core aesthetic (like in the case of the shiekah- though that too is stupid bc ITS A DIRECT SEQUEL- IF YOU DONT WANT TO MAKE MORE OF THAT DESIGN THEME or leave it in for that matter THATS CORE TO THE PREVIOUS GAME DONT MAKE IT A DIRECT SEQUEL YOU DUM-) can do any work here, the botw sonau ruins werent many, it was background stuff, it wasnt a main theme and it didnt carry any importance in the game itself

like, botw sonau architecture was dark stone with red highlights (a color that usually fades rather quickly, imagine how strong it had to be once, maybe it was even more colorful at some point), bird, boar and dragon carvings, torches in bird shape, alot of swirls and round patterns among the blockier rough shapes, its was pretty detailed with patterns and pictures all over it --

totk sonau? blendingly white stone, all blocky shapes like unfinished blender models, not a swirl to be found, green hologram lights (or cold white light, i dont think there are any totk sonau torches, just those weird candle things- most light sources are lamps in impeccable shape all giving off that cold white light) and gold blocky script, theres rarely alot of detail on them, the pattern most often present beign a scale pattern ... one which i dont remember appearing anywhere on the botw sonau ruins in that way/that often, the only animal motif is a dragon head every now and then and it honestly feels tacked on, like they scrambled to try and connect the two in any way shape or form, white gold and green, theres nothing red anywhere, they neither connect to the botw sonau architecture nor to the one armor set- or its description, totk sonau have nothing to do with the phirone (faron) region (aside from that one quest that could have been placed anywhere), they are weirdly modern and techy, theres nothing "barbaric", not even their clothes are in any way connected (im so sick of all that gold tbh) even their magic isnt really .. magical, it all feels like science fiction type tech stuff (even though they said they wanted it to feel magical, couldnt be further from that tbh) the design of their magic symbols dont line up with their own building aesthetic or anyone elses even, its so messy

if you do the quest to get the fith sage its even more apparent- its the direct contrast between botw and totk sonau, its like a cut into a mod, theres no overlap, you cant argue that its bc the botw ruins where exposed to the elements and thats why the color differs- the totk sonau ruins left to rot both in the underground and in the literal sky are all just as if not more exposed, yet they all remain in rather good shape, all keeping the white and often completely colorless look, most damage being just some clumps of mold (?) or something having fallen over, and if they were protected so their color didnt change? wheres the red? the colors all should be in pristine shape then but its not bc there is no color

their excuse of "uuuh the hylians build those things in honor of the sonau!!" they tried to give doesnt work, like all other excuses, if they did why the hell does it look so different? sonau stuff was all over the place, you have the blueprints right there, WHY even build it? in those regions nonetheless that were of pretty little importance as far as we know, if this were the case they should be on the forgotten plateau or around hyrule castle but they are not- ALSO if the hylians built them for them .. so after they died out .. why then is there some weird mechanism with their actual aesthetic there in the ones in phirone? if they built it while they were still there ... why make it look so different?? ADDITIONALLY hyrules style of architecture is closer to the totk sonau one than the botw sonau so you cant even say it was influenced by their own style bc botws sonau is more different than both of them

it also adds to the .. feeling of something being off about the entire game (like it felt to me even shortly after starting to play), while i dont want to touch on the stupidness of how they handled totk shrines since thats another long rant i already did before, the sudden appearance of totk sonau style stuff literally everywhere (and the disappearance of anything not plot relevant shiekah bc it just went poof according to interviews and neither that nonsensical excuse nor anything in the game making sense- bc in the end they just wanted it gone and didnt care) would seem LESS weird if it was in the style of botw sonau, you know that style, its been here the whole time and more of it appearing would seem much less jarring, even if it doing so in completely non sensical ways- it would at least lessen that weirdness

i do not get why you would do that, did your designers have nothing to do so you made them make an entirely new aesthetic? did you not want your holy perfectly goodest god king to be anything but the most clean and kingly looking so you didnt even go for the barbaric idea from botw?(which i am not a fan of either) bc of course someone supposed to fill the role of perfect example of how to be good king of holy hyrule to zelda couldnt look "primitive"? was that given to the ancient hylians instead? with their designs going, to me, rather close to a mix of native american and ancient greek aesthetic (uh oh)- to contrast them to your superior alien that brought the idiots on earth technology since we didnt have enough tired tropes in here already? thought that design theme was more sellable? simply didnt care? (tbh, most likely in my eyes given the carelesness of the game to connect in any way to botw, much less in a meaningful one)

(those where written like questions but i dont expect anyone to answers for, it just sounds better)

[nagitosstolenhand]

hate when people feel the need to woobify and make akaza more of a 'moral' character so they feel less guilty about liking him and writing him as a complex character. he's a murderer. he has murdered and eaten innocent people. hes not a savior or genuine outseeking protector of woman, he just doesn't kill them and expresses some semblance of disgust at douma targeting woman to kill specifically. he does have a weird set of morals unlike most of the demons (ex: him refusing to turn people into demons without their consent) but him having some semblance of morals that he abides by does not make him a justifiable person. HES CANONICALLY AN ASSHOLE AND A BAD PERSON. STOP BEING A COWARD AND LET HIM BE AN ASSHOLE.

[itissadbutitsmy-life]

listen I just can’t find fault with a candy person for finding something that unexpectedly brings them joy and doing everything in their power to make it keep happening. I just can’t find it in me to blame them for wanting the approval of the person they love and respect more than anyone else, and wanting that approval over and over again, and I just straight up can’t blame james for figuring out a trick to make his princess smile and call him her hero. like, banana guards get her praise and approval and hugs all the time, but he’s just some random engineer with an easy smile and no one who wants to hang out with him after work. and she likes him so much, she wants him in her kingdom, even when he goes and does something stupid like push her out of the way of a super dangerous not-moving car, at the cost of his own life, she wants him back and she’ll bring him back and she'll tell him that was very brave and she loves him. of course she loves him. she loves all the candy people. but he figured out how to make her look him in the eyes and say it and give him material evidence of her pride. I can’t find it in myself to blame him for that. it wasn't good, i don't think he should have been left unchecked to keep going forever, but i can't blame him for wanting to keep reliving the nice thing that happened once. the really nice thing that happened once that came with material gifts. if she didn’t want to keep doing it she would’ve stopped LONG before there were TWENTY FIVE of them. before she was so fed up that she didn’t even spare him a kind goodbye or a chance to go home one more time.

like you’re not beating the dystopian dictatorship allegations. saying she was right to exile him from the only home he’s ever known with no recourse because he was acting weird. and the thing is, I just can’t find it in me to blame a character living in a dictatorship for getting himself into a situation because he was desperately trying to be happy the best way he could figure out how. I’m not saying he was right, he’s insane, but it just rubs me wrong, the idea that he is the one holding all this heavy blame. the idea that the princess is right to look down at him and shake her head firmly and turn him out in the cold. for chasing the rush that she gave him willingly, over and over, without any specific end parameters. for not being able to make friends, and doing something weird about it. he’s bored and lonely and this works and it’s not, inherently, bad. it really isn’t. it’s batshit, but it’s actually not hurting anyone at all.

[rustedbread]

I'm feeling undoubtably pretty bad right now, so I'm just going to like play sad music and play Sisyphus simulator because, why the fuck not

[pennylime]

Emm ge ramble cuz im going insane actually I have a lot of thoughts

I finally thought I was over this comic thats been a constant in my life for the past 6 years due to the break. Like "maybe im over this now?" Nope. Now the main story started updating again and I'm back in the fucking deep end what is this

Like sometimes I feel like I'm too old to like ge like what (even tho its rated m) i feel like the majority of the fandom are middle schoolers idk it feels weird 💀 or maybe yall are the same boat as me lmao I started reading this in 7th fucking grade IM A FRESHMAN IN COLLEGE NOW I'm a grown ass adult shits crazy, like it's lowkey embarrassing,, I only tell trusted people I read this and i would never recommend it (now), but I latched onto it middle school what'd you expect ofc I still love it 😭 that shit stays with you forever istg

Im sitting here watching lectures and doing article reviews for my fashion industry course plus im interviewing a professional later today and i drop fucking everything to read it goddamn

Anyways, abt that update, Luther is great and it's time for another reread

[dazednstoned]

I've seen an influx of claims that people are “demonizing” John or “turning him a villain” and I think that's an odd response to people calling out things he actually did.

It's almost like what he did was awful and he should be held accountable for it. His later growth does not just dissolve his past, especially a past that consists of abandonment and years of neglect.

The damage of his actions seems to be lost on a lot of you. Try picturing a single mother, now throw in the fact that she's 17, a former prostitute, living in a gang, and is a woman in the 1800s unable to make a safe and proper living.

John didn't do "some damage" he turned Abigail's world upside down. He left her alone with a baby to raise all by herself. I don't think many of you grasp the magnitude of that and the position that put Abigail in.

[alaskan-wallflower]

i’m sorry but the “discourse” between the musical and book/movie fandom is so stupid. i get people get mad when people tag the outsiders to talk about whoever the fuck terrence dipp and beverly jitney-bush are, but there’s also literally a place you can blacklist tags. bright idea, i know. now, i don’t condone people tagging fics about the actors with the outsiders tag, nor do i condone real people fiction because that’s weird and invasive but that’s a discussion for another fine, just wanted to make that clear. but atp it feels like they’re two completely separate fandoms and i guess to a level they should be treated as such. i get that not everyone agrees with ace, or bev, or chet or whoever the hell are actual canon characters, and i do think to a level, they should be tagged separately, but if it bothers you that much, then blacklist the content you don’t wanna see. i’ve done it with plenty of things and it’s completely okay to do. nobody’s gonna be upset with you over it. what it isn’t okay to do is to harass other fans over it. i get it, sometimes it is annoying to see things about all these characters who don’t have anything to do with the actual story on your feed, but again, use the tools provided that were literally made to provide an enjoyable space for you. don’t harass people over it. at the end of the day, it’s the same media. and while i don’t personally wanna write analyses on random background socs, full props and respect to people who do! use that brain of yours, create content, do what makes you happy! but if something bothers you to that point, on BOTH sides because both sides can be immature and obnoxious on occasion, use the block button and the black listing option. it’s not that hard. it’s the same story at the end of the day, it’s not that deep.

the tags prolly make more sense of what i’m trying to get at

[surreal-duck]

id post more on insta if it were not for the fact. that i have a fair few irls on it like ill already pick and choose what i do put on there and its not like its a secret per se but. i just would not be able to look them in the eye if they knew a good couple years of my life, several art canvases and a portion of my soul has been dedicated to these two random ass guys. same goes for when i meet enstarries irl (which is relatively not that rare) i will simply never mention a word abt mdyz ever. anyways that aside ygs should look at this nugget i fecked up somehow

[napping-sapphic]

Love is so freaky and messed up to the point that sometimes i do wish and hope SO badly that no one ever has to suffer being in love with me specifically because it honestly sounds absolutely unbearable

[cathalbravecog]

veep dad comfort art

[potionpeddlerpatchy]

I hate that unless I'm the on initiating and planning, that no one chats or hangs out with me.

[slityclayloam]

Sometimes I like looking up dyspraxia on google or tumblr as it makes me feel better seeing others like me, but like everytime I am violently reminded just how much it seeps into my everyday life.

Like I have decent movement, I can't remember the last time I fell over and I rarely bump into things. I can now wear turtle neck jumpers without feeling like I'm being strangled. I can type fast on my laptop and rarely have to look at the keys. I can drive, parallel park and reverse park. I can even now catch stuff thrown at me like 9/10 times! All of this is because I've been working on those skills for 19 years, both by myself and through speech and physiotherapy between the ages of 5 and 9.

But then I still have major issues organising my life, I have problems going to appointments and responding to emails. My main emotion everyday is to feel unemotional and when I do feel a real, strong emotion I have a hard time showing it, often apperaing neutral or like I don't care. I still don't fully get some social concepts. My memory can be really dodgy. My handwriting is quick and spidery as it hurts my hand to write slowly and neatly and I can't use anything but cheap gel pens as anything else will smudge. I still drop food on myself or the table daily. I'm still nervous carrying mugs of tea or coffee around, in fact I actually refuse point blank to carry trays of food in cafes, as I worry so much about dropping them and I find the weight and instability difficult to handle. I get tired easily and find it hard to stand in the kitchen and cook for more than half an hour before I just end up in pain, I can't use can openers and I have a hard time chopping food. I really like doing craft stuff with my hands but I find it so hard to continue with that craft stuff as it always comes out looking horrible and I just don't have the patience to continue.

It is hard living in a constant uphill battle, with everyone around you getting on with their lives and being so "hyper" organised. But I've managed to grow so much over the years and I hope that one day soon I can move some more of the things on my "I can't do or struggle to do right now" list, and move them into my "success" or "I can just in my own way" list.