#imagine if we said that about literally any other profession.

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

[oblique-lane]

Sniper tf2 mentality

Today I will be talking about Sniper's personality because I often see people portraying him DRASTICALLY different abd I wanted to understand what's going on and why all of the interpretations are correct (in my opinion)

Let's name the most prominent thesises:

Sniper is shy and introverted.

Sniper is unhinged and bloodlusty and is annoyed by people.

Why do i think that these aren't exactly contradictory?

I think at this point it's safe to assume Sniper is autistic (I mean lol this is easier to prove than to disprove). As an autistic person myself, I can see why he could be perceived like that.

Sniper doesn't talk to people and mostly observes them and the situation. Very in tune with his profession. That, however, might be perceived as being shy or very introverted or both. People love talking and expect others to share information, yet Sniper never says half of the things he's thinking about.

But let me tell you, it's NOT because he's shy. If he was shy, it would show in his body language as being stiff and rigid. He's not. His body is pretty relaxed and takes enough space. Still crosses his arms, but in a "don't bother me" way, not a "please don't judge me" way.

He's just disinterested.

I relate to it a lot in real life! People at my job think I'm too shy to talk to them, but no, I just DON'T WANT TO. I'm not scared of any if you, there's just nothing to talk about. I don't know your business, you don't know mine, our interests don't collide. If I talked to you about my interests you wouldn't listen anyway. Small talk? Ew, are y kidding me?

However, I like to listen. I'm an extrovert personally (unexpected huh) so I love being around people, but it doesn't mean I have to takk to them. I'll just sponge the information they are babbling about so I know my community better. When I meet new group of people where everyone knows eachother but me, I'm not going to feel awkward, it's perfectly fine to observe.

Sniper seems to fit into this kind of behaviour too. So he's not shy in a social anxiety sense".

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT THE BLOODLUST!!

Yeah you all know his in-game voicelines. You feel either horny or assaulted after he rolls these sadistic words on his tongue. Yes I said sadistic, are you gonna argue?

"We professionals don't give speeches we just take a shot" he says in the comics. OH YEAH? IS THAT WHY YOU HAVE THE MOST FUCKING VOICELINES OF ALL OF THEM??

Have you ever noticed how much attention he puts into saying how 'professional' he is? Like, yeah no shit, they all kinda are. But why, unlike other mercs, he insists on calling himself a professional with standards and morals, detached from emotions and feelings, so much???

There's literally no reason to be ashamed of being a killer and to admit that you enjoy killing people, you were hired to Mann Co. for that specifically!!!

My assumption: it's a personal disgust towards himself and his anger issues. I've said it before already and I will again.

His so called 'shadow side' that he suppresses so much. It loves to cause people pain, it loves releasing the inner anger, it is being feral and impulsive in nature. Sniper cannot let himself be like that for whatever reason. He's already built a clear picture of what he is in his head and he doesn't want to destroy that.

The only time he allows himself to be a monster is in the battle because it comes naturally. However, when it's not a situation of adrenaline rush, when people want to talk about his persona face to face, he starts to defend himself and bury his face under the lies he believes in.

And THIS is anxiety. To be scared to be truly perceived. Not like many people tried, but I assume he wouldn't like it.

Bro really thinks he doesn't have feelings lmaoooo imagine being so emotionally immature the only way to process your emotions is to shot a human dead.

So, is Sniper anxious? Yes. Is this social anxiety? No, he's not shy. Is he an unhinged murderer? Yes. Does he identify as one? No. It's really a little bit more complicated than the two thesises from the beginning.

He's a person. Obviously not mentally healthy. High dimensional. Can be potentially broken or healed in terms of a good character study.

I might be very wrong though and most of the assumptions are simply guessing by grasping the patterns, but usually when I analyze someone like thus, it turns out mostly right. But correct me if you feel like it.

[mistymem0ryy]

Il Dottore x Reader

The Fall of Icarus Chapter 1 - An unexpected letter

Summary: While being a student in the prestigious Sumeru Academy, the reader begins to form a weird friendship with the genius student Zandik, only to then lose said friendship due to his banishment. Years later a rogue letter finds its way to their report-file desk.

The gender of the reader is not specified.

(Minor spoilers for Dottore’s identity ig)// Word count: 2066

Notes: I am quite tired of the constant fics where the Reader happens to not be at a similar intellectual level as Dottore… Do not get me wrong I understand that it could be quite intimidating since the guy is quite literally a genius, but I always wondered how different his common behavior and developing intellect would have been during his Academia years…

Chapter 2

{No beta we die like Zandik’s grades}

People like Dottore are usually blessed with what I call an Imaginative Genius, he is inventive and curious in nature but that is not all you need in order to excel in an Academic environment. Any undergrad level Science student will complain to you about obligatory courses that range from boring classes on how to write an adequate lab report, to mind draining mathematics units that you have to take in order to graduate but most probably will never need in your actual profession.

Dottore is a genius, yes, but he is also impatient and insatiable, and those are the traits that led him to his unlabeled relationship with you…

The Academia is constituted by various facets dedicated to different areas of research, but they all possess one common thing, and that is the dreadful compulsory mathematics and report units. Mathematics is the language of the world, therefore it would be only logical that a self respecting scientist would have a certain degree of fluency in it…And to add unto that, a great researcher must too be capable of describing all observable phenomena in harmonious text.

Dottore… or should I say Zandik? Well, no matter how much his brain was capable of maneuvering itself into creating unimaginable gadgets and devices while simultaneously researching lost ruins of forgotten civilizations, he simply could not wrap his head around a certain set of classes that he deemed utterly useless.

He wanted to go out and research the unknown, feel his surroundings and understand their development, he wanted to acquire knowledge beyond the one present in the various dust collecting books that encircled him every minute… 

He wants to punch down that godforsaken door and leave this classroom at this precise moment… But to his utter disdain he cannot.

You see Zandik is quite the intelligent fellow, his curiosity leads him further in his personal research but he must balance all of that alongside all the courses the Academia requires from him in order to finish his initial program. But no matter how “important” a certain class might be, if it doesn't strike the interest of the blue haired student then he will not even glance towards its direction twice… His time is precious and slowly but certainly running out, so he must make the most of it, even if it means missing a rather concerning number of classes.

You would like to say that perhaps, in some sick and twisted way, Zandik considers you a friend… an appreciated company? a tolerant fellow student?... 

After years of being in the Academia you have come to recognize the fact that you were the one sole person he did not outright treat with pure hatred. Sometimes you look back to your first year in the Academia, when you were solely a freshman ready to embark on a new intellectual endeavor and happened to be partnered up with Zandik for a class on “The Etiquette of Writing a Concise and Clean Scientific Report”. A boring class that you honestly thought quite useless, I mean haven’t you all been writing for years already? Why would you need a specific class centered around writing a report when you could be spending this precious time on other more alarming subjects? 

After receiving your first graded assignment, and looking to your side only to be met with the hellish mess that was your Partner’s crumbling sheet you finally realized why this class was an obligatory module for graduation… You cannot decipher at which point his description of physical phenomena turned into a horrific amalgamation of scribbled equations, and- is that khaenri'ahn script? Nevermind, you do not want to know…

Zandik catches you fearfully attempting to understand the meaning behind his rather… messy report…and lets out an annoyed huff in the process.

He is an excellent scientist in the making yes, but he has a hard time translating the concepts that take place in his head into a mere sheet of paper, and the fact that someone, especially YOU, happened to be witness to one of his intellectual weaknesses, that he so arduously attempted to hide, stroke a nerve.

The moment the class is dismissed Zandik is packing his materials and leaving this humiliating experience, you quickly come to the understanding that his speed is not necessarily a byproduct of his failing grade, but rather of the fact that you saw said grade.

You knew Zandik had a reputation for being a Genius in the making, and honestly a part of yourself could not help but be relieved by the fact that this class was proof that he could also fail, that he was indeed human.

You gather your belongings as fast as you can manage, and decide to follow the boy into whatever corner of this building he has decided to retire himself into. When you find him you offer to secretly help him with his failing grade, which he reluctantly accepts. That is the beginning of the rather weird relationship you happened to establish with Zandik, you weren't necessarily friends… you knew that despite his act in front of the professors and all the well calculated smiles he threw into the air, Zandik didn't actually see any of your colleagues on exactly friendly terms… but you hoped… You hoped that perhaps after all of this he could find in himself the sympathy to see, at least yourself, in a softer light…And the thing is, he did, trully. You simply weren't capable of perceiving it.

It was rather unnoticeable, and only someone with an extremely keen eye and patience would be capable of noticing the slight ways in which Zandik would relax his composure when in your presence, how his gaze would linger on you while you corrected another maze-like report of his, how he would lie to you about being offered 2 coffees instead of one thanks to his Genius-like reputation among the academic staff, and now you would have to drink the other one so he doesn't over caffeinate his system.

It was honestly quite warming, while it lasted at least. You helped Zandik obtain the grade he needed in order to pass that tormenting class, and sincerely hoped that this would not be the end of the untold arrangement between the two of you.

The unnamed relationship between you and Zandik, to your surprise, remained intact after that class, he continued to talk to you whenever you too happened to be in the same room (which even though at first glance does not seem to be that much, it is actually quite important for him since you happened to be the only other student which he does not see as a complete waste of his time), and when he noticed that you were having a hard time with Multivariable Calculus he took it upon himself to tutor you through that fearsome class. It was those tutoring sessions that really allowed Zandik to learn more about you, from your favorite dish to your family history, and eventually to teasingly referring to you only by the name of your favorite constellation.

“Careful there Icarus you don’t want to burn your wings away now do you?”

“Zandik why is the lab on fire?”

It was all going quite well… until the rumors began…

All the compliments that embellished Zandik’s reputation in the beginning slowly metamorphosed into quick whispers in the hallways pertaining to his rather unorthodox ideas, people began fearing for their safety after the disappearances and deaths began… And the initial worry directed towards your person and safety, as being the closest student to Zandik, eventually transformed itself into comments about how you too must also possess some sort of sickness in that head of yours in order to talk with him so casually…

Zandik was ok with people gossiping about him, that is as ok as one can be when your sanity has turned into a theme of communal discussion, but when the hatred that those around him started to deviate from being completely aimed towards him and began to shift towards your unknowing figure, he had to put it all to a stop. You were the only person in that damned establishment that saw him beyond the performance he put up every waking hour, the only person that treated him as if he were an actual human being and not an interesting concept, and no matter how ardently he wanted to be accursed alongside your embrace he couldn't bring himself to actually bring the both of you into your own doom.

He stopped talking to you completely. It's as if in the matter of a fleeting night your bodily presence had been turned invisible to his eyes, your voice echoed upon deaf ears, your pleas for an explanation gone unheard, left to rot alongside yourself.

You tried, you really did, but Zandik persisted, and at some point your loud requests for an explanation had been turned into a fleeting glance on your way to class, only to then become the impossibility of seeing him for weeks on end…

You want to say that you were surprised when he was expelled, but honestly you saw it coming before he did. Zandik, no matter how many times he bashed in his capacity of predicting the outcomes of any possible situation, was always a victim of his own ego, he thought himself undefeatable and it was (temporarily at least) your job to ground him to reality when necessary. 

He had strayed too far, and now his own genius could not save him from whatever grave he had dug for himself this time, not even you could stretch a lending hand to bring him from the darkest pits of his mind back to the light…

It has been years since the last time you saw Zandik, out of everyone in your sector of the Academia he was the only one you were certain of achieving greatness in the future, only for that hypothetical greatness to be cut short before he could even graduate successfully…

You tried to find him, after he was banished from Sumeru, no matter how hideous his actions, you could not forget the fact that he too was a human being, you had seen parts of Zandik the world considered utterly impossible, and you hoped that he could see that no matter how tarnished his person could become by the words of the masses, you still saw him as the boy that would ramble about Ancient Civilizations while you studied anatomy, the same boy that would take you to the areas of Sumeru streaming with wildlife and lecture you on all the different properties of the various species inhabiting your surroundings, the same boy that sent you letters nearly every two days when you had to temporarily interrupt your studies to help a sick family member…

But now it has been years, and even though you were able to somehow balance out both your professional research and that for the whereabouts of Zandik, you have found yourself with absolutely no fruitful outcome to the latter.

You quickly realized that you had completely spaced out with your various reports left untouched in front of you, recently the amount of times you temporarily lose awareness only to daydream about your old days with Zandik has become alarmingly bigger, you really should get some healthy amounts of sleep from now on…Especially after receiving a heads up from Alhaitham of a wandering Traveler that supposedly is going to pass by your office today in order to request your help.

You begin to clean up your reports, organizing every sheet according to your personal system until your eyes land upon a rogue letter that you cannot recall having in your possession.

The only tip that could lead to the identity of the sender was the initial -D stamped upon the untouched envelope. You switfly grabbed and began to open the lonely envelope in an uninterested manner, that is until it suddenly fell upon your paralyzed feet, leaving your trembling hands stuck in their prior position, as if you were still holding that now forgotten letter within your grasp.

All it took was one inked phrase.

“Greetings, my dear Icarus…”

[sjmgirlie]

“I see so much potential for Lucien and Elain”

Where?

There has not been a single scene in 2 novels and 1 novella since we found out they were mates that alludes to any potential at all?

They haven’t even had one conversation where Feyre isn’t there carrying it? He lives on the other side of Prythian? Can't stand to be around her? She wants to leave the room each time he's there? Specifically sits away from him? Like where is the potential other than some sort of imagery (which I'll get to)? It ain't there.

“I can’t imagine a single conversation happening between Elain and Azriel”

Really?

They had one the first day they met. Talking about flying.

Not to mention on Solstice they stayed up to talk to each other when everyone else went to bed.

How do we know they didn’t talk when they were in the garden together?

“Azriel just stifles Elain. She’s just a damsel in distress”

You sure?

He literally gave her the knife he had literally never let anyone touch in 500 years to protect herself? Cassian didn’t want Nesta finding the troves either? Are we trying to say that a man who wants to protect a women is suddenly.. unattractive? Like idk about you, but I would love for a bat boy to save me lol. Or tell me not to do something for my safety. But okay.

“It’s just lust”

Let’s not even go there because a male willing to participate in a blood duel and renouncing his own religion is not just trying to have sex

“Lucien is the son of Helion and Elain needs sun!”

Ya?

Well Lucien has never had sun imagery. It’s fire from his Autumn Court heritage and in Hybern he released himself with SPELLS. Feyre was actually the person to cast out a bright light to break the wards, and we find out later that it’s a gift from the Dawn court. Lucien tells us this. Lucien has fire magic and is a spell cleaver, not the sun. ELAIN is the sun. Day court does not equal sun for Lucien. Sorry.

“Elain will never accept Azriel’s profession”

Oh?

Pretty sure she’s already accepted everyone in the Night Court. They all have jobs that are borderline sus. And considering the countless instances where we see Elain is actually very observant, I’m sure she knows what he does, yet she still leans into his touch. Not to mention Mr. fashion police Cassian also tells us that Elain is not a loyal dog. That she saw everything Nesta did and understood. Doesn't seem like she's not accepting to me.

"Azriel just wants a mate!!"

Seriously?

If the male wants a mate why would he bother spending time with a female he knows has one? Why wouldn't he be sailing around Prythian looking for her? Because she sure as shit isn't in the Night Court. And let's be honest, I don't think he will even be getting a mate if it's not Elain through some sort of different bond. Because there is no one in canon right now that could be his mate, and we only have 2 more novels and 1 novella left. And his book is next. Apparently we can all agree on that, but can't accept Elain is also getting the next book, aka their book together. And no, Gwyn is not his mate, because it would have already snapped into place. We had an 800 page book where they were in the vicinity of each other through all the training monologues (so maybe more 400 pages) and it didn't happen? Rhys knew before they left under the mountain. Literally happened at the end of the book. Cassian knew the first day he met Nesta. Lucien knew the second Elain took her first breath lol... it's not happening.

"Elain should be with Lucien and they would be High Lord and Lady of Day Court!!"

Ew?

You want to kill off Helion??? I want the novella to be about him and the Lady of Autumn tbh (even though it's likely Mor). Like? No, I need some sort of scene with Helion in each remaining book. I need more of him, biblically and spiritually. Also, have we forgotten “You can not resent my decision to lead a small quiet life..” ??? Elain said this in ACOSF to Nesta, like, do you think this girl wants to be High Lady all of a sudden? No. She doesn't.

"Elain needs to give Lucien a chance!!"

Why?

I swear everyone who says this has never been in that "Oh, well he's just such a nice guy!! Give him a chance" type of situation. Like why should I? WHY SHOULD SHE? He literally was an accomplice in her human life being stripped away from her. Should they end up being friends? Yes. Together romantically? No. If she doesn't want to give him a chance, which she clearly doesn't, then she doesn't need to. Stop diminishing choice in character arcs. Her whole arc, with Azriel and Lucien, is centred around choice in the first place.

"Azriel's shadows danced for Gwyn, so they are endgame"

Huh?

Don't get me wrong, the shadows are a part of Azriel, but I don't think they literally determine his life for him. Actually, I know this 100%. His shadows are under his command. Also, they danced for her breath, not Gwyn. Which is weird. Not to mention his shadows alert him in times of trouble and to gain information. Is it not weird they didn't alert him that she was there? Like that's not being wing-shadowy, that's screaming something sus is going on. (And no, I'm not anti-gwyn or even saying she's evil. Is she a lightsinger? Probably. The evidence is there. Does it mean she's bad? No.)

"Azriel's shadows hide from Elain, so they can't be together"

Lol?

Again, are Azriel's shadows the ones that command him? Or does he command them? And his shadows have disappeared for half of the IC. They disappear when there is no threat. They disappear when he doesn't want them there. Pretty sure Azriel's whole character doesn't just revolve around shadows. Sure, they are a huge part of his identity so far, but do we truly think that he wants to be reduced to them? Doubt it. He's probably had a very hard time coming to terms with the fact people have always looked at him differently because of it. I wouldn't be surprised if him becoming a Shadowsinger (since they came to him later in life in the dungeon) was a result of unfathomable trauma. Azriel does not only equal shadows only. We just don't know him yet.

"The BC sunk Eriel"

Truly?

You mean the bonus chapter where Azriel was about to get on his knees for a taste? The bonus chapter where Elain was giving him offer and permission? The bonus chapter where Rhys was the reason they DIDN'T actually kiss? The bonus chapter where Rhys became their obstacle and lifted the stakes not only on a personal level (with Elain thinking she was rejected, with Az and Rhys having a wedge between them) and politically (the potential downfall with god knows how many courts since Lucien is a drifter and the human lands)? Like we need the stakes!!!! This is what makes it worthwhile to read?? Forbidden romance? That should be enough intrigue. Plus anyone who genuinely thinks an author would write a male character willing to drop to his knees for a female (we've seen this with both Rhys and Cassian btw) only to have him move on in the next book is just idk. It's not possible. It would be so UNROMANTIC for them not to end up together. Like I would never forget Azriel wanted Elain's coochie so bad only to end up with someone else??? Ya, that's not romantic.

"Elain and Tamlin would be perfect mates"

Throws Up

So Elain is going to go to the only court where there is no gardening because the HL magic keeps everything in eternal bloom, only to shack up with her sister's ex who that same sister almost married and her mates ex best friend? Make it make sense. You're truly showing your hatred for stereotypical feminine qualities my friend. Tamlin needs some time to lick his wombs and maybe learn how to cook. He needs to stop isolating himself. And again, Elain is not his mate. Also, let's just add Elain is not ever leaving the Night Court. The series is about the Archeron sisters, and her sister is the literal High Lady of NC, not to mention her other sister is mated to the Illyrian General. Like be for real right now.

The End. 🌹🗡❤️🦇

[antiyourwokehomophobia2]

I guess I want to appeal to your compassion a bit as a trans person. Fsr I got recommended a post where you put forward the idea that transness is caused by trauma, and also maybe that it’s annoying/laughable to you. I probably couldn’t objectively say whether childhood trauma contributed to my dysphoria because everyone feels and does lots of things for reasons they can never be fully aware of. Transition alleviated the distress I felt extremely significantly though. If it is all a trauma response (which has not been properly methodologically demonstrated by anyone afaik, except for you afaict deciding correlation = causation while reading peoples personal anecdotes that they texted you, ig?) I’m just not clear on why that matters if transitioning has helped the person, or why people who are traumatized are worthy of having that trauma derided or picked apart. I would hope that would inspire some amount of empathy instead. I don’t know if this was worth the time it took to type out because it seems like maybe the algorithm or something has really sold you on certain ideas about trans people as a monolith that I think are more reflective of tiny microcosms of teen internet subcultures than of broader reality.

Oh boy lmao.

Well, I would have loved if you had linked the post. I'm not really certain what you're referring to, and I can't imagine what I would have said to make you think I was calling any type of trauma annoying or laughable? But oh well.

"if it's all a trauma response...I'm just not clear on why it matters if transitioning has helped the person"

Anon, do you feel this way about anorexia? Anorexia is also often caused by trauma. Do you have a hard time understanding why people do not support liposuction for anorexic people? After all, if it's all a trauma response...I'm just not clear on why it matters if weight loss has helped the person. Isn't that right? Why should things like alcoholism or drug abuse or self harm receive push back if it helps the person doing it? The only difference between being trans and literally any other condition where people hate their bodies is social perception. How is being obsessed with having or removing breasts not the same as being obsessed with weight loss?

"why people who are traumatized are worthy of having that trauma derided or picked apart"

Why is having trauma picked apart a bad thing? Therapy, as a profession, is literally focused on picking apart trauma and replacing it with rational thoughts. I'm not quite sure what you mean by this honesty? If trauma isn't picked apart then the only other option is leaving in place. Is that really the world you want to live in? A place where people who are obviously struggling never receive any pushback for decisions that are borne from those struggles? I think we have different thoughts on what does and does not help those who are traumatized. Anon, you sound a bit like an enabler.

"I would hope that would inspire some amount of empathy instead"

Of course I have empathy!! However, being empathetic does not mean that I should just be okay with whatever traumatized people decide to do with themselves. Do you think it lacks empathy to say that a suicidal person shouldn't kill themselves? I mean, having someone pour their heart out to you about how much they want to die only to tell them "you should live anyway" could come across as being very insensitive. But that displays the opposite of lack of empathy. How is it not empathetic to tell someone "hey, I know you're hurting but cutting off parts of your body and injecting yourself with drugs is not the answer"? Why does that strike you as cruel? Transitioning is a lifelong endeavor. How is it lacking empathy to say "hey, you shouldn't opt to spend your life as a neverending medical patient"?

"maybe the algorithm or something has really sold you on certain ideas about trans people as a monolith that I think are more reflective of tiny microcosms of teen internet subcultures than of broader reality."

Well, jeez! Those microcosm teens have a lot of power! I mean, fuck, biological males in women's sports? Women getting fired from their jobs for saying that males are men? Kamala Harris having *genuinely* been under fire for putting males in male prisons? Women being called bigots and facing extreme social consequences for being uncomfortable with male people in their changing rooms and bathrooms? Those teens that do not affect broader reality are supremely powerful! I'm impressed!

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

Mars in Capricorn🧨

I feel like this placement is such a flex and I’m really really jealous of it. These women literally get men who can provide for them and a lot of the time older men that is due to Capricorn being the father the older man figure in a life and the attraction to older men and probably a lot of the time having issues., all these women at one born in their life of being with an older man, and is the man you’re attracted to, I mean let’s go to Anna Nicole Smith, Howard James Marshall, who is literally a billionaire, met her at the strip club, not saying all these women are gold diggers, but they like to have a bag and they can get back, and they get provided for, and I feel like every woman has that right to be provided for man. I generally do maybe it’s because I’m an earth and I have in the 10th., I’m honestly like go go get what you want, I mean Anna and her husband had an arrangement arrangement together, imagine them he’s leaving together he probably would’ve had a heart attack, they had an arrangement and his son didn’t like it, but this man was a billionaire and he wanted a sexy woman on his own and he better than Nicole Smith one of the most beautiful women in the world if not th beautiful.

Then we come to Amber Hood who wanted to make us start in Hollywood for a long time and I believe you went for party party to try and find that way they either are both of these things or one or the other they can fuck their way to the top, now I look at Madison a bit of a side but I still love her, taste older and old before that time, this is why they are attracted to this kind of man. They have serious issues which we found out with Austin the case I don’t know her dad was very close with Johnny, but we don’t know the relationship completely with the dad and her., but she got something with Elon Musk go ahead like men before too long and it’s not Elon Musk Twitter Elon Musk people in the blind item ,world will agree that, Elon and Amber were each other soulmates. Don’t worry Elon features twice in this post. because look at him and Grimes anyway going back to Amber and her child a lot of people agree that Amber‘s child is with Elon because she had her ex frozen when they were together supposedly allegedly. but Grimes of had a long relationship with Elon also and a lot of Elon‘s girls start with Bruno and then go blood but I think Elon likes a crazy man man pixie girl, the edge of them and that they could ruin them any time.

On the list is a very sad one Aaliyah and her relationship with R. Kelly and name – who are both a lot older than her but Dame was a lot closer in age or Kelly obviously did some very inappropriate stuff really and the creep met her when she was 12 through her uncle which makes it even sadder Barry Hanson, a Aaliyah was a Capricorn sun as well and very, she had that hook up with dad as she’s on but I’m jealous of the situation with the money and being built up by a man and having a man that looks after you let’s be honest don’t we all want?, we don’t come on. How nice would it be for a?, And look after you and you didn’t have to worry about a thing., obviously this placement shows up different ways, like I said with Aaliyah she was vulnerable and it naturally came into her life, I with Amber feel it was more sort out the same with Anna.

Lindsay Lohan, who moved to Dubai and has had the most, who dated her maybe apart from Leonardo DiCaprio and Warren?beatty , the oldest profession goes on in the world. She said she moved out there because of the paparazzi hounding her, but I think it was more, away from that too, but also to get towards men with money, Lindsey allegedly has attend to like stealing as well, even though she’s rich, shoplifting or lifting is a rush, another addiction?

I can’t think of the exceptionally massive age group she said, but I’m sure she has some we don’t know of. Samantha Ronson, who I feel is at least 10 years older than her,.

Holly Madison, holy Madison had a relationship with you having, she was in the Playboy mansion and she became the number one girlfriend, do you see what I mean and the Playboy secrets?, Many of Hughes friends have said that she loved it at the time and then she became the opposite, and now she does a podcast talking about Playboy she hasn’t stepped away from it so she still making money from it from some degree if you Hefner, I’m saying that that’s bad. I’m just saying the obvious..

Traumatised for many years, I’ve noticed with these people we don’t see dad at all in their lives actually if I think of all these people, maybe Michael Lohan and of course Lindsey is going to have daddy issues with a man like that.

Drew Barrymore, Barrymore may not, have been with older people, but she went out with Eric out of hole , and hung around with Courtney Love when she was literally literally just, she was also partying in studio 54 when she was very very young, hanging around with people much older than her, and doing drugs and very young age. Around these people had died she had a very trauma, he was a drug addict and an alcoholic, was famous and become lineage of famous people in Hollywood.

We have the Olsen, and talk about Mary Kate Olsen, with Oliviar, They had a huge age gap. She even looked like one of his children she was even shorter than one of his children. I, it looked really creepy another person who’s not in the college here is Amanda Bynes and we know what happened there., know quiet on set .

And then, obviously you have Catherine Jones he’s been with Michael Douglas like forever , obviously many decades older than her. I just think it’s a placement I’d like to brag about it obviously has its , have my mars in the 10th house , and let’s talk about men with this placement Brad Pitt , Shia LaBeouf , and how they all a bit dodgy , and I’ve been all over the place with women

. Who allegedly did stuff with Michael Bay who is very abusive?, To her and they fell out., very casting couch,

[kurogane2512]

Hello Kuro~ im glad you liked my thirsty ask of Chammy...And im back at it,again

In her interrogation sprite and arrested sprite her chest looks MASSIVE and Heavy as heck,it makes me want to hold them up for her.I think she has the biggest chest than any other female sinner i saw......That said,she definitely has some serious back pains from her chest,poor Chammy, having to deal with that!:((

One side of me wants to be nice to her and massage her back and the other wants to absolutely fondle and squish her breasts and play with her nipples....

And also her new attire from the surveillance order...Ngh.... It's literally stuck into my brain,i just want to ride her thigh and be absolutely destroyed by her while she wears that attire and smiles at me faintly.....Dammit Aisno why do you have to make us global players wait for it to be released in 2024 😔😔?!?Im so impatient for it pls...

I don't have a lot of thirsty ideas for Chameleon(which is ironic with how seriously im simping for her..) since i can't totally understand her personality.....I would maybe send more Chameleon thirsts if i had some grasp about her personality and how she acts 😔😔😔

~Phantylia

Oh my, you are so right about her boobs. I do genuinely agree she seemed the biggest when I first started playing and had a brief look at all the characters and I don't think any new character has surpassed her either. I think Anne, Garofano and Suspect R come pretty close but they don't appear as big due to their clothing. So yes, I'll go with mommy Chammy being biggest for now 😩 And even then, I wouldn't say she's unrealistic for anime standards like it's rare but possible irl (without surgery).

Man, I genuinely want to just lay my head on her chest and use it as a soft comfy pillow while she hypnotizes me to sleep!! 🥺 And ugh her nipples are probably such a pretty color and so sweet; I'll lick, suck and pinch them all day to pleasure her. You know those massage scenarios where you sneak up from behind and cup their breasts? That. I want to do that to her. Start off giving her a simple back + shoulder massage then fondle her moulds while she's all lazy and relaxed.... Oh, how sly of you she thinks.

But she enjoys the service so she lets you continue, she'll rest back on you and let you squish and massage her breasts all the while letting out low and soft sighs of pleasure. Her voice man it's so angelic and soothing I can literally be hypnotized just by her voice she don't even need her powers!!😩 And you are so right her upcoming outfit has me by a chokehold ever since it was revealed I CANT GET IT OUT OF MY HEAD I NEED IT RIFHSE0IFHWE0F

As for her personality, at least I hc her as a typical well-behaved, elegant woman on surface- you know the kind that would suit her psychologist profession. But she's so mischievous and evil underneath and she especially loves playing with Chief. I imagine her dynamic with us to be really spicy, you'll understand what I mean if you read my latest fic on her outfit. It has a pinch of enemies to lovers because she's insufferable to us but also so irresistible that we can't keep our hands off, and she thoroughly enjoys playing this game of temptation with us~

[heavensickness]

Some thoughts about the LIs & their living conditions:

Kuras: Only homeowner with an actual, permanent space to live in. I think he would have a living space connected to his clinic, maybe upstairs? He probably doesn't need to eat but he has to afford other important things such as medical supplies, clothes etc. but being the angel he (literally) is, he doesn't charge his patients. So how he makes a living? 1) We know that he does some "work" with Leander, so he maybe gets Leander to acquire medical supplies for him. 2) Scamming the Senobium people. I love that chaotic man

Mhin: Only one who has a profession that they actually make a living out of. They get their paychecks & leave. Attracted to men, women and the bag. Call them biflexual. They probably stay at inns without a permanent place to go. Maybe Leander also helped and offered them a room at the Wick when they first arrived Eridia, but they left the moment they got some coins. Can you imagine staying in a room every night listening to bar brawling & Leander getting head from someone random. I would go insane

Leander: I have thousands of different theories about this man, I can't count them all here. Only thing I am sure about is that he is living in the Wick, aka occupying a room there for an indefinite time being. How does he make a living? W̵̫̣̻̲͂̍̈́̀̂̀̏o̷̜̗̣̳͚̘̓̇̐̄̏u̷̺͕̘̬̭̰͑̀̑̓̃͊̋͘͘l̵̦̫͗͐̊̔̅̾̕͘͝͠͠d̷̳̦̩̫͙̱͉͓̜̱̞̝̬̐̓ͅņ̶̛̫͕̦̯͎͓͍̠̝̼̼͊͠'̶̯̹͍̹̳͈̬͕̔̀͛ţ̵͙̖̳̳̗̠̪̭̹̑̿͊̏̈͛͠͝͠ ̷͎͔͕͎͍̱͖̞̲̣͍̊̋̉́̔̔̄̈́̅͊̂͝y̵͖͚̣͎̳̓͂̈̾̿͋̎̾͊́͘̕͘ờ̶̝͍̰̤͎͓̼͕̏̀̅̽̓̀̇̉̅̈́͋̄ͅu̴̯̳̾ ̵̼̣̙̐̓̄̊̈́̄͌̒̇̓̽͌̇̊l̵̨͇̬͉̳̓ͅi̷̬͈̜͉̳̯̻̲͗͋͑̉̈́ķ̴͍̪̲̝͎͓͗è̸͕̹͕̹̙̹͓ ̷̛͙̳͙̭̙̋̎̌ͅt̸̖̫̫̪̜̲̤̹̫̤͎̲̄͆͂̋́̈͑͑͂̃̄̔̀͜o̶͖̯̱̙̗͎̘̬͚̩̯̜̲͋́̃̎̈́́̄̌͑̈́͊̕̚͠͝ ̷̛͔͕̣̗̟͕̦̺̬̪̙͔̊̈́̓̿̐͐͠͝k̶̠̘̗̘̜̻̝̓̈̈́̐̈́̒̀̿̒̿͘̚n̷̛̳̜̭͔̦͎͖̠̥̯̳̈̈́͂͛͌̄́́͌́̈́̂̚ͅo̴̢̡̝̼͓̓̈̈́̍͒̿̽̂͋̈́̀́̑͋̕ẅ̷̤͕͇̳̰͔̬̲̒́̇̈́̌̒͐̕͠͠?̷͓͉͓͋̿͆̓̆̋́̕͝

Ais: This man is just squatting at the Seaspring temple. He said finders keepers. He can avoid paying taxes though, so good for him. His interior includes 2 pillows (one chewed off by a Soulless and is covered in saliva), 2 blankets, a kettle, and a ridiculously classy teacup set. Who knows where he got it from. You know the sight when you would go to a guy's bachelor house while in university? That's the picture. This is why Vere never goes over to his place, because he can't stand the smell of BROKE (and wet dog fur). Where does he get money? Uhhh robbing the people he beat the shit out of? Let me know if you have any other solid theory on this topic bc this man isn't making any coins.

Vere: Ahh yes, my favorite classy bitch. His outfit costs more than your annual income. He hangs out in the Hightown, goes to operas, knows everything about expensive wine and champagne, and eats wagyu steak for dinner. How does he afford his lifestyle? I like to think that he buys or does anything he wants, and when it is time to pay he just tells people to add it on Senobium's tab. Tf Senobium people are gonna do when they find out? Demand him to pay? When they are making him work like a hunting dog and definitely not paying him shit in return? They literally put this man on a LEASH. I hope Vere buys anything and everything his little heart desires. Second opinion would be a high class, aristocratic sugar mommy/daddy from Hightown. *Bree Runway voice* "Do you know what a girl like me cost?"

[bethanydelleman]

Northanger Abbey Readthrough, Ch 5

Mr. Tilney is still missing! He is not to be found at the theatre, the pump room, or out of doors. However, according to the narrator, this absence is very clever of him:

This sort of mysteriousness, which is always so becoming in a hero, threw a fresh grace in Catherine’s imagination around his person and manners, and increased her anxiety to know more of him.

Also, poor Isbella keeps dropping hints about James, She liked him the better for being a clergyman, “for she must confess herself very partial to the profession”; and something like a sigh escaped her as she said it but Catherine has no idea what she is hinting at! The fact that Isabella wants "delicate raillery" reminds me of Anne Steele from Sense & Sensibility:

Miss Steele wanted only to be teazed about Dr. Davies to be perfectly happy. (Ch 34)

Mrs. Allen is highly gratified to find friends that are shabbier than her in dress! But she and Mrs. Thorpe hardly ever actually talk to each other, in what they called conversation, but in which there was scarcely ever any exchange of opinion, and not often any resemblance of subject, for Mrs. Thorpe talked chiefly of her children, and Mrs. Allen of her gowns. If you want an example of Austen actually writing one of these conversations down, check out the "bragversaion" between Mrs. Elton and Mr. Weston, where he only really talks of Frank and she brings literally every statement back to Maple Grove. (Emma, Ch 18, V2)

Catherine and Isabella rapidly become friends, perhaps a bit too rapidly. Their quick friendship will be contrasted later with the more properly and far slower intimacy between Catherine and Eleanor Tilney. However, I have definitely had vacation friendships like this, where due to the amount of time together and the knowledge that you will soon go home, the friendship moves very fast.

They called each other by their Christian name, were always arm in arm when they walked, pinned up each other’s train for the dance, and were not to be divided in the set; and if a rainy morning deprived them of other enjoyments, they were still resolute in meeting in defiance of wet and dirt, and shut themselves up, to read novels together.

And then we come to the famous rant against the degradation of novels! And you know what? Austen has a good point. Why not have heroines of freaking novels read novels? What a strange brand of doublethink! A heroine must not read novels whilst existing within them. Funny to think that many of the novels that Catherine might have been reading would be considered classic literature now, though many more have faded out of recognition.

Austen also rightly points out that people are far more likely to actually read novels than "edifying" materials such as poetry or history, something which will come up later on the country walk. This makes me think of the scorn towards YA novels and comic books/novels today, which I still see way too much of. Let kids read what they like! A general love of reading will get anyone far in life.

(To be honest, I still kind of prefer fantasy YA because way too much of the adult stuff features rape/non-con/sexual assault and that's far less likely in YA)

But yeah, you just tell me the last time someone came up to you gushing about a History of England, it's not those books that capture our imagination and make us feel, it's novels. There is a reason I'm still reading novels from 200 years ago today and little else, and it's not just because factual information is far out of date!

Only a novel indeed!

[thebawdybaldurian]

Halsummer Day 6

A love or other confession

This is another sad one, but I’ll be rounding out the week tomorrow with a very cute scene from my modern AU.

With the map that Z’rell had provided, the group was able to make good time through the shattered lands of the Shadow Curse. Impassable areas had been marked off from previous expeditions, so they no longer needed to backtrack when they came across a chasm or broken bridge. When they arrived at the river that split the land in two, they had to walk parallel to it for some time, in order to find a crossing that was still intact. As they passed one of the ruined bridges, Tav heard Halsin make a noise in his throat, his body suddenly tensing and freezing in place. “Halsin…what’s wrong?” Tav touched his shoulder. He made no response, his gaze focused on the broken stone of the former crossing. “Halsin!” She called again.

“The land is so different now…I thought we were much further south,” he said weakly, his hands beginning to tremble.

“What is it? Did…something happen here?” She clasped his face, trying to break his gaze from the ruins.

“This…this was where we were…when the curse hit,” he closed his eyes tightly, tears spilling down his cheeks. His knees buckled and she fell with him, her hands still holding his cheeks.

Halsin hadn’t discussed much about that time in his life, but Tav could only imagine how painful it was to return here. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly as the others looked on. “It’s going to be alright, my love,” she murmured softly, stroking her fingers across his back.

“I killed them,” he cried quietly, his body heaving against hers. “I killed as many as I could and destroyed the bridge so the rest couldn’t follow.”

“What’s wrong?” Minthara asked gruffly, put in front of the group so they could watch her as they walked.

“Just give us a moment,” Tav replied sternly, turning her attention back to Halsin immediately. “Tell me what you need. How can I help you?”

“I don’t want to be here…I don’t want to see it.”

“Let me carry you for a while then,” she suggested. “You could wild shape into something small and I can nestle you in my coat.”

“You do not need to carry me and my burdens,” he sighed heavily, his trembling easing a little from her tight embrace.

“I want to,” she pulled his face away so she could look him in the eye. “Let me, please,” she kissed the salty tears from each cheek and nuzzled against his nose.

“Alright,” he sniffled, pressing his forehead against hers. “But just for a little while.”

He shifted into the form of a small squirrel and Tav scooped him up after buttoning her coat to cradle him against her body. He burrowed under her shirt, right above her heart, realizing that he needed to tell her that he loved her. He remained nestled in her coat until they stopped to rest, scurrying off to transform and give himself a moment alone. Once back in his elven form, he reached into one of the hidden pockets sewn into his robes. He pulled out the small glass heart he had formed one hundred years ago, the reminder of how bad things could get. For all the pain he felt coming back to this place, he could endure it because of her. If he could end this curse and be with her, he would no longer need a reminder. He would be happy and ready to move on with his life filled with utter joy.

He decided it wouldn’t be fair to profess his devotion to her until he was truly free to do so. He would wait to tell her he loved her until he ended the curse and he could give his heart completely to her, both literally and figuratively. He tucked the glass back in his pocket for now and returned to the group. “Feeling any better?” Tav asked as he helped her up and they prepared to move on.

“I am,” he nodded, caressing her face. “Thank you.”

“If you need anymore time in the coat, you kept me awfully warm,” she smiled, her own ‘I love you’ on the tip of her tongue. She didn’t want to seem like she was just saying it to make him feel better, so she held her tongue, giving him a gentle kiss instead.

They continued on, walking hand in hand until they stopped to rest for the night in the ruins of an old farm. The trio of elves set up camp in the roofless windmill, while most of the others settled into the farmhouse. Tav went to check the well for usable water while the men made a small fire and spread out their bedrolls. “I’m in no state to offer advice obviously,” Astarion said, pulling off his boots and stretching his pales toes out. “But I’m sorry you had to come here and relive all this…it must be difficult.”

“Thank you,” Halsin smiled, pushing some of the wood around to make the fire burn more efficiently. “I am glad I was able to return with friends…and…more than that.”

“You love her too, don’t you?” Astarion asked, fluffing up Tav’s bed roll for her.

“It would be impossible not to,” Halsin replied, rubbing his hand over the glass heart. “Does it…bother you?”

“Not at all…I mean, sure, I want to be greedy and keep her all for myself, but…I have a feeling that she wouldn’t be fully satisfied if I did…and not just in a sexual sense. She has the biggest heart I’ve ever known, there is room for both of us.”

“I haven’t told her yet.”

“Why not?”

“Fear…mostly. Of telling her and then losing her…failing to protect her. There is a little doubt as well. Not in how much I love her, but if I will be able to end this curse and give myself fully to her. I don’t want anything holding me back.”

“I had similar thoughts before I finally told her,” Astarion nodded. “Going back to Cazador after knowing so much happiness with her…I don’t know if I could go on. I’m sure she knows how you feel about her, so if you think that you should wait…”

“I left a part of myself here,” Halsin sighed. “Perhaps talking to you both about what happened would help some of my doubts.”

“We’ll be here for whatever you need,” Astarion added as Tav returned from the well.

“It was dry and there was also something living down in the darkness that I had to shoot a fire bolt at,” she frowned, setting her bucket down.

“I’m sure I can find a barrel that I can create water in later,” he smiled, patting her bedroll for her to sit down. “Can we talk for a moment?”

“Of course,” she settled down next to him, rubbing his thigh gently.

“We’ve all grown close over this journey…” he began, taking in a deep breath. “I just wanted you to know a little more of my past…in case something like today happens again.”

Tav nodded for him to continue, giving his thigh a squeeze as Astarion moved closer to them and gave Halsin’s shoulder a reassuring touch. “We were heading back to the grove after defeating Thorm when the sky suddenly darkened. It wasn’t just the sun being blotted out, but all light in the land. The trees began instantly dying and the grass withered up. Birds in the sky dropped and then raised again with a sickly aura. My glaive at the time gave off a faint light, so it protected me when the shadows began taking people. It happened so quickly, we barely got torches lit before some of the druids in the back of our group began to turn. They dragged others into the shadows and we lost half the column nearly at once. Our archdruid was among them and…” he paused.

They gave him a quiet moment to compose himself, each giving him another reassuring squeeze. “I mentioned that I’d had a similar arrangement to ours before…their names were Serran and Olinus. We lived together in the grove…and shared everything. I loved them both…and I drove my glaive through both of their hearts that day. They had been helping support the archdruid who had been wounded and I tried to get back to them, but it was too late. I killed all three of them and a few others, before we fled. I broke the bridge as we ran across it, so they couldn’t follow us. There might have been others that had not yet succumb to the curse…but I doomed them in doing so. Less than ten of us survived and we returned to the grove covered in the blood of our loved ones,” he closed his eyes, tears spilling down his cheeks again as he touched the blood red tattoo on his face. “Every time I look in the mirror, I see this and think about all those I failed. If I can end this curse, then at least I can put their bones to rest.”

“It doesn’t sound like you failed anyone,” Tav took his hand and held it close to her heart. “You kept people safe…and spared your lovers and leader the sorrow of hurting you. I know I would be grateful if you did the same for me.”

“I don’t want to lose either of you…even if it means giving up my own life to keep you safe,” he trembled.

“We’ll watch each others’ backs so that will never happen. I don’t know if I can get any more undead, but I’m damned sure not going to stay in a place like this forever,” Astarion tried lightening the mood a little, grabbing Halsin’s other hand.

They embraced together, united by the pain of their pasts. Halsin went to find a barrel to fill with fresh water while Tav and Astarion situated their bedrolls so they could all snuggle together for the night. They shared tea and more about their pasts, cuddled together in a pile of warmth when Scratch and Hootles came to join them. Halsin knew he could never replace what he had with Serran and Olinus, but he hoped to grow something even stronger with Tav and Astarion.

[mingiswow]

Boyfriend!Jongho

⚠️ English is not my first language, so sorry if there's any mistake

ok, is really hard for me to write about him because he has the same age as my little sister 

So it feels weird to me lol 

Anyway 

Baby boy Jongho 

He has such a tsundere vibe for me 

Not because he wants to 

But because he doesn’t know how to act around you

His shyness acts as coldness 

And that doesn’t help him at the beginning 

Bc when you guys met you thought he didn’t like you 

He barely spoke to you 

Never looked at you 

And the word exchange was reduced to sounds or monosyllabic words

But that’s because he couldn’t even look at you 

God you were so beautiful and ethereal to him 

An angel on earth 

So he asked help to your mutual friends 

“Let’s get drunk and then you use a little liquid courage”

It didn’t work the way he had planned because another person was hitting on you and he got jealous 

“Get away from yn they’re mine!” 

Now imagine the scene: he all drunk and tipsy, face red, eyes small and a pout that he thought was making an angry face but was more on the sad puppy side 

But hey! You thought he was cute like that and happy that he liked you back 

Jongho is a very discreet boyfriend 

Def not a fan of pda 

Or skinship in general 

I feel like he leaves the touches and caressing to more special moments

But as soon as you got more intimate in your relationship he became a cuddle bug 

He loves laying down in bed with your head on his chest and your arms wrapped around each other

A comfortable and comforting silence falls upon you two 

He just enjoys the comfort of your presence 

You don’t have to say or do anything, just being by his side he is ultimately happy 

He is quite a sappy boyfriend

He knows that he doesn’t touch you as much as he should but it’s just the way he is 

So he compensates (even tho you tell him he doesn’t have to) with homemade meals, long walks at the beach at night, dinner at a restaurant you said you wanted to try, little flower bouquets every now and then just because, opens the doors for you, pulls the chair for you to seat, hangs your jacket for you

The last romantic™️

He also changes a lot around people because of you

He gets softer

And is a daydreamer 

Sometimes his mind is doing things on auto mode that he doesn’t even realize that he’s thinking of you while practicing the new routine 

The boys don’t complain tho

They are loving this Jongho 

Mostly wooyoung because now he can rest lol 

Like I said, he is a sappy romantic boyfriend that just came out of some teen rom-com from the 00s

And so came his kisses 

Omg I feel like this man's kisses are the absolute most amazing kisses you could ever experience 

He just holds your face between his hands with such love and care

And look at your eyes deeply as he is professing his love by the way he looks at you 

Then he gently touches your nose before finally touching your lips 

His lips are a little rough but that doesn’t mean his kisses are rough as well

No no no 

This man has the softest, feathered and smooth kiss you’ve ever tasted 

He is a slow kisser

Tastes you so deeply

Makes your heart and stomach do backflips in excitement

You feel so so loved

You literally melt in his arms as you hold him

But as we know, most pros have their cons

And jongho is no exception 

He tends to get jealous very easily 

Not because he doesn’t trust you or doubt himself, but more because he doesn’t trust the other person 

He gets overprotective over you very easily 

And this can be quite annoying sometimes 

“Why are you home so late?”

“I told you I was going to go drink with my friend after work/school”

“Well, I was worried. What if something happened to you?”

Because of that, you fight quite a bit 

Not big fights 

But discussions 

That sometimes ends with you going to sleep in some of your friend's house or him in the dorms 

But he learned to pass over his pride and learned how to apologize over the time 

Because I’m the beginning he never apologized because he didn’t want to admit he was wrong 

But you guys talked through it 

You told him how you felt and he told you as well 

So the discussions always end with you both apologizing a few hours after 

NSFW from here on ⇉ minors dni ⇇

I have no other words other than dom

He is a soft man 

But he loooooves the sensation of being a little mean and authoritarian 

I mean, he is the maknae, he’s almost never in charge in his work 

So he enjoys bossing you around 

Even if you are older than him 

He is still dominating you

He is equal parts sweet and mean 

And you can notice in the way he talks to you 

He praises you for being so good to him for holding your orgasm like he asks you to do 

And seconds later he is laughing at your fucked out state and mocking you for begging to cum 

Jongho is a big big big fan of toys 

Because they’re his best friends 

They help him not only tease you but please you 

Has an enormous collection of vibrators, they’re his favorite 

Probably will use a toy every time you guys have sex 

Because he sees sex as this intimate and almost immaculate thing 

So he likes to take his time and enjoy the process 

Loves the little turning-on game you guys play before actually having sex 

Testing kisses and touches, kisses that last longer than they should, lips that go to other places, hands that adventure around each other’s bodies, sweet promises and teases whispered in your ears 

So the use of toys is a prolonging of that game 

Also, jongho is not a fan of giving oral 

Sorry everyone 

But since he uses the toys is all good 

And also, won’t force you to give him head 

But gladly enjoys it when you do 

It’s when he praises you the most tho

He is also a huge fan of sensory deprivation and stimuli

I’m talking about tying you up so you can’t touch him, blindfolding you so you can’t see him, playing with hot wax or ice on your skin so you get extra aware of your senses and surroundings 

But nothing will ever compare to the feeling of fucking you 

This man goes feral when he is inside of you 

He just can’t hold it 

Your walls feel so good around him 

He gets so lost that he does everything in auto mode 

Plays with your skin, your sensitive parts, nipples, hold you by your neck (not actually choking, just holding), pulls your hair (if you have), biting and marking your skin 

He just lets his primal instincts take over 

And if you start scratching and nailing his back he goes even wilder 

He’s not afraid of moaning 

But he just growls

Like an actual animal 

“If you keep marking me like this I won’t last longer sweetie”

It’s a lie 

This man has stamina 

He can go and go and go 

So prepare yourself 

Because when he is in the mood to make love to you - on his own terms of the act obviously - you guys will be locked in the bedroom for days 

But being the gentleman he is, after all of that he will treat you like royalty 

Will clean you up and take you for a warm bath with bath salts that will relax and soothe your body 

Will wash your hair, brush and even dry it 

And if he’s feeling extra lovely he’ll massage your feet and your arms

Then he just cuddles you and lulls you to sleep with his beautiful voice 

He is a gentleman in the streets and a freaky gentleman in the sheets

Masterlist

Requests are open

[doll-elvis]

re: mindi miller, she stated in an interview with ostjysk tv that elvis was concerned about how fans might react if they knew who mindi had dated previously. she relays this in the kindest possible way; i believe she understands him very well, is very protective of him still, and grants him enormous grace for the weight of things he suffered due to low self-esteem. she felt that his insecurities surrounding relationships were already so acute that any threat of outside judgment weighed on him and increased his anxiety to intolerable levels. he so wanted to preserve an ideal version of himself in the minds of his fans that he would often default to avoiding the issue, and he broke up with her because his fears made him feel so jealous and unsure. (about a year later, he continually asked his friends to call mindi to reconnect, but the calls were not made by the people around him at the time). in another situation, sammy davis jr. said the colonel convinced elvis his fans would abandon him if he starred with sammy in "the defiant ones," which was a story about a black prisoner and a white prisoner working together; the final film with tony curtis and sidney poitier came out in 1958. elvis was completely torn up about it and allegedly wept when he told sammy he couldn't do it, finally admitting to sammy what the colonel had told him. so here's an instance where the colonel used elvis' great love of his fans and his fears of losing them to make elvis believe the worst in others (they won't see you if you're too fat, too rebellious, too progressive), and so at times, elvis might compromise on what he really believed because he felt he had so much to lose. he was already highly, highly insecure about his ability to perform in romantic relationships, and mixing that with his fears about public reaction likely made him afraid to compare himself to boyfriends of another race or to pursue interracial relationships openly in front of his wary/bigoted friends. it was just a fight he wasn't able to handle all the time. there were people in elvis' life and the industry who kept these fears top-of-mind for him, just so they could avoid taking risks. and elvis' insecurities made him susceptible to bowing to societal prejudices at times, while at other times, he broke out of the box completely and made it known that he would not put up with those attitudes around him. i just think it's interesting how much elvis was punished by the people closest to him for being too forward-thinking or taking too many risks, when that's exactly what found him such lasting success. it's just very heartbreaking to realize that this cycle made it hard for him to trust himself, and it touches SO many aspects of his life and decisions. my two cents. :)

thank you so much for this and please everyone who sees this, take some time out of your day to read it because… wow 😭

not you adding “my two cents” at end so casually like this isn’t the greatest piece of insight on Elvis I have ever read !!!

I quite literally have nothing to add because you hit every point perfectly and all I can say is that I wholeheartedly agree, and like others have mentioned we have to take into account that interracial relationship were still considered taboo even in the 70s and could you imagine the backlash Elvis would have received had pictures of Mindi Miller with Fred Williamson surfaced while she was with Elvis?? Like you mentioned Elvis had an image he believed that he had to protect, especially with the Colonel pressuring him too

also if anyone is interested in reading more about Mindi Miller I would highly recommend Joe Esposito’s book, she is mentioned quite frequently

and I found this excerpt from the book really interesting as well and it gives great insight to the kind of life that Elvis had to live due to his profession

[royaltyspeaking]

It's jarring how bad Kate is in talking anything professional. And it's not at all about public speeches, I understand anxiety on that account and I give her a pass for it. But she isn't good in even one-to-one conversations - on any topic. Even when it comes to children's mental health or sports in general - two areas of interest that Kate is supposed to be good at - she's never able to hold a professional conversation. It's all how's the weather, congratulations on winning, my children like this and that, or other silly anecdotes. She's literally never able to say anything meaningful or impactful, it's just silly chatter where her audience smiles politely and she giggles or laughs to give a good picture, and that's it. And again, I'm not at all talking about public speeches, I'm talking about one-on-one meetings or when she holds audiences with anyone or when she's talking to high profile people standing in a line to greet the royals. She's utterly uninspirational. BUT, she's still considered a good member of British royal family coz that is exactly what their criteria is - someone silent, with no professional goals, someone who can simply be curated perfectly according to their PR. I bet Kate would've never fit into any other royal family coz pretty much all of them seem to be doing heavy duty work. But fortunately/unfortunately she fits the requirement of where she's employed - British royal family. Can you ever imagine Kate having a sensible, driven conversation on serious topics like ones covered by Sophie or Camilla or even Eugenie? It's bizzare when her fans say royals aren't supposed to comment on controversial topics, just look at the work other royals are doing around her. She has had such a privileged life I wonder sometimes when she'll have her share of struggle? Her position is so awfully wasted.

Yup. We're always being told how she works so hard yet she never has anything important to say. The intense pr push to make such an unremarkable person appear important is really something. The problem is that the pr is all talk. And while Kate is lazy, the people she has working for her don't help matters. We've been told that Kate is this early years expert but we've never seen that in action. She never says anything intelligent on the topic, all of her comments are very basic. To me that indicates that her briefing notes must be completely basic too. We know that Kate is hardly an intellectual but it's at the point where I wonder if her staff is even trying. That was especially obvious with that ridiculous letter that "she wrote" (lets get real, it was written for her and she signed her name to it), apparently designed to highlight the importance of the early years. The whole thing was nothing but a word salad, merely repeating the same statements in every paragraph with no additional information or solutions. That letter shouldn't have made it past the editing process yet it was released by KP with a shiny bow attached for the public to eat up. When it comes to conversation, look at kates sit down with Jill Biden. It was a mess from start to finish. Her brother in law just welcomed a new baby and Kate wasn't the least bit prepared to answer the inevitable questions about the new baby. Then at a round table about a topic she is supposed to be so well versed in, she couldn't even come up with a coherent response to a basic question. The only thing that Kate can talk about is herself. Her default is telling people how the topic of conversation affects her. Oh you're a (insert profession)? My kids love said thing.

[kojoty]

I don't, actually, want to discredit people for utilizing the very literal 'laundry list' as an indictment against Thoreau. While I disagree with the way it's utilized, I can't fault people for reading history and realizing the fundamental fact that our Historical Greats-- specifically men-- are often only possible because of the achievements of the hidden women and forced labor thereof to grant them the freedom to be 'revolutionaries.' It is a real factor that we must contend with when lifting up historical voices of liberation-- if you crow and profess to liberation, who's liberty are you infringing upon to make this possible? For most historical figures, I think it is vastly important to talk about it, discuss it, bring up the spectre of labor that creates this.

But Thoreau is an odd one.

One of the most radical voices of his generation, one of the most obvious follow-throughs of his philosophies (going to prison for tax avoidance to prevent himself supporting, monetarily, an unjust pro-slavery war is the easiest point of reference for the way he 'followed through' on his philosophies, and very materially created the concept of Civil Disobedience in political parlance), one of the most obviously outspoken anti-capitalist voices, abolitionists, etc, it does make me wonder-- Who does it benefit to air out the dirty laundry on Thoreau?

Rebecca Solnit says pointedly, "“There is one writer in all literature whose laundry arrangements have been excoriated again and again, and it is not Virginia Woolf, who almost certainly never did her own washing, or James Baldwin, or the rest of the global pantheon. Only Henry David Thoreau has been tried in the popular imagination and found wanting for his cleaning arrangements.”

And it's something I've found wanting whenever I discuss Thoreau-- I will try to discuss his philosophies, his experiments, his activism, and be met with the 'laundry' quandary, as a way to discredit him wholesale. Usually, this is from people who very clearly haven't read Thoreau, but even people who have, but are swept up in the many 'take downs' of Thoreau that have circulated online for the last fifteen years.

As the previous post I reblogged speculates on, there is a very real undertone of historical weaving to make that indicates depression, grief, etc. But more concerned am I that, yes, perhaps his mother did his laundry-- but is it not in the very nature of transcendentalism to utilize and currate community? The question isn't 'was Thoreau a male pig who utilized women's labor'-- something that most of us, as children of mothers, have invariably done to varying degrees of misogynistic normalization-- but rather, 'What are the ways we can support one another in an ideal, non-capitalistic society?' 'How do we care for those we love?' 'What is appropriate labor to perform for others, and what isn't?' 'Does a mother doing the laundry of a grieving son indict and diminish his very ethos?'

Does a mother doing the laundry of a son discount the writing of someone who, by many accounts-- and there are criticisms to make of Thoreau, like any person, and especially any person from his living situation and era of pre-Civil War America-- followed through more succinctly than many other radicals at the time? Does the philosophy of transcendalism fail because he leaned upon the people in his community to make his two year experiment work? Was he ever claiming to be so self-sufficient that he was lying? Was Walden, the I in Walden, Thoreau, or the persona of Thoreau as he wished his philosophy to be reached? Is it inherently vile to let someone do your laundry?

I don't know. Your mileage may vary. And certainly, the leaning on labor is a conversation to have. But the indicting the idea of anyone doing labor for another person ever is a failure of ideology, in my opinion. To make community, we perform labor. To see the beauty of the earth, we must take solace in the love and gifts from others. That said, I think Thoreau could have stood to do his goddamn laundry. But hey, I've been there.

[many-gay-magpies]

5, 8, 19 for the dbd ask game! xoxo

aaaa thank you so much for asking!! most of this has been put under a cut because apparently i had a lot to say hdhfjfbfb

5. Which character do you relate to the most?

i think out of the main cast, i relate most to niko, but i also relate somewhat to kashi—and i mean, the night nurse said they were alike, so that makes a kind of sense XD.

niko reminds me specifically of a version of myself i USED to be, or like, one that's lying dormant. she's awkward and reclusive and extremely literal with her language, and once someone takes her out of her box she's super friendly, but she doesn't know how to get HERSELF out of the box, so she needs a friend who openly and unashamedly enjoys her presence and invites her along to things (like edwin!). i'm getting better with socializing, but that definitely reminds me of MYSELF with the whole social vampire thing of, like, i wont interact with you in depth unless you invite me first. she also has a lot of knowledge about random and frequently creepy things (see "long pig"), which i relate to on a spiritual level, AND she has an incredibly bright and exuberant fashion sense, which i feel is the case for me as well. ALSO!! aro niko is basically canon as far as im concerned, and idk if thats because its actually viable; because i, an aro, projected onto her way too hard; or both of those things. honestly, it's kind of a surprise i'm not more obsessed with her, but maybe this is exactly WHY i'm not. her character's already familiar to me because i grew up with her in my head.

as for kashi, it's more like. specifically his view of his life and past experiences? like, the way he goes "really im not sure i HAVE any trauma" and night nurse goes "YOU WERE SWALLOWED BY A GIGANTIC FISH" and he smiles all wistful and goes "ah, one of life's many adventures!". even when i have bad experiences don't necessarily enjoy them in the moment, there's a part of my brain that's like. yes!! negative emotion!! so refreshing and fun!! this is evidence that we are human!! this is a symptom of life!! yes!! how joyous!! like i was a fucking alien in a past life or something and the little alien remains of my soul are so utterly fascinated by every aspect of human existence, whether its grim and painful or fun and full of love. so. me and kashi 🤝🤝🤝

8. A headcanon you have (that you havent seen talked about yet)!

idk if this counts as me not seeing it be talked about yet because the whole thing that SPURNED this headcanon was seeing someone offhandedly mention that crystal would probably be good at drawing due to having rich artist parents, but i imagine crystal being kind of an artist herself (and in fact ive written 2k words of fic about it! its on the backburner at the moment tho). her fashion sense is very reminiscent of the way an art kid would dress (see: ME), and it just feels like it makes SENSE given her parents' profession and how she might have been raised, growing up around art. i also feel like little kid crystal, seeing how much attention her parents gave to the OTHER artists in their installations, might have tried to gain their attention for herself by getting really good at art, before she realized the problem wasn't anything she was or wasn't doing; it was just her (or, more accurately, it was the fact that her parents were neglectful pieces of shit who probably never should have had a child).

19. Favourite actor from the show?

i don't really get into the actors of shows on a personal level, although i do love watching behind the scenes and interviews of them just goofing off and having a good time, so for this question—i don't really know? george rexstrew seems like a very nice and down-to-earth person, and jayden just seems cool and fun(ny), but they're all pretty much just guys (gender neutral) to me.

if we're talking acting... man idk, they're all so good. this being george's first onscreen role out of theater school is fucking amazing, he absolutely killed it, and the sheer DEDICATION is awe-inspiring (i think i read that he actually took ballet classes to help him walk and move like edwin?). all jayden's micro-expressions and actingchoices as charles blow me out of the fucking water, and kassius made crystal feel so real and genuine, and... yeah, i could go on XD.

[raayllum]

Hi! What are your thoughts on Callum’s biological father? I am curious. I have theories but I am wondering if you (or anyone else) has any ideas about what sort of story this may be.

While it may be nice if nothing is mentioned (perhaps he bears no relevance to the story whatsoever, which is fine) it may also be an interesting plot device. For example- we have this backstory about Soren being very unwell, and Viren used dark magic to save him… perhaps at the cost of his relationship with his ex-wife. We don’t know what he did… but we know that serious spells involve the use of another person’s life. Harrow seemed to know that Viren has done some pretty questionable stuff, and besides all this, we don’t know if Callum/Sarai are actually from Katolis to begin with. What if (and I am just theorising purely on a what if and no evidence whatsoever) Sarai’s husband / Callum’s dad was the unfortunate recipient of one of virens spells, if not using his life directly for Soren’s, but even transferring the ailment to him instead… as we know soren “wouldn’t be alive without (dark) magic”. Pretty dark and questionable things must have happened, as we know it seemed to tear Soren’s family apart. Soren had this strange dislike for Callum for a long time (yes- it was said that perhaps he was jealous of the King’s affection for Callum despite not being his biological son) but… what if it goes deeper than that? Viren disliked Callum strongly. Perhaps Callum is a constant reminder of what Viren did and why his family fell apart. It would explain why Callum’s dad is not there (either missing or passed away) and would be an interesting point of contention for Callum’s relationship with Soren/ Viren, whatever may happen in future seasons. We also know Sarai strongly dislikes dark magic and would explain why Harrow (who must have supported dark magic in the past) would have changed his stance upon learning something like that happened. I imagine that if this were the case, Sarai wouldn’t have known about it fully (as she would not have tolerated Viren’s presence), but maybe she met Harrow upon visiting the castle after Soren’s recovery (in place of her husband, who is no longer there).

I don’t know, I’m just throwing loose theories around! I’m curious to hear if you have any interesting ideas about this. I wonder if maybe his dad was a doctor/ medic of some sort and would explain why he would be “visiting” Katolis to assess Soren’s ailment (or something along those lines). I could be barking up completely the wrong tree, and perhaps he bears no relevance to any plot line at all and is simply going to be known as “Sarai’s past love and Callum’s dad”. But we know absolutely NOTHING about him- no profession, no story, not even what he looks like. Surely we would have some small drop of this of it was totally irrelevant..? Or something official would have been mentioned? What do you think? It’s definitely open to a lot of theorising until something is given to us!!

I think ultimately TDP is going the Trollhunters’ route in which Callum being the king’s stepson mostly exists to explore blended families and dynamics than having a strong impact on the story. I also don’t think Viren and Callum’s dynamic needs that layering as heavily, either, tbh; if Viren’s spells had cost a human life directly I don’t think Harrow would’ve knowingly let it slide, I don’t think Viren would’ve gone that far with other humans previously (although who knows), and Harrow did support dark magic in the past! In 2x05 Viren’s plan is exciting and hopeful to him and he doesn’t understand Sarai’s moral reservations with it until she literally spells it out to him. It’s only a slow build after her death that causes him to reject it outright.

I do have always enjoyed the headcanon of Callum’s father being a dark mage who was wounded / died in one of his own accidents (re: breaking family cycles gets doubled down on, Sarai’s strong aversion to dark magic, etc). I implied it loosely in a fic about Callum’s childhood here (feat. lots of Opeli) and ever so slightly in “if time is money” (very long post-s3 multichap) but I’d like to explore it as well in future fics such as:

for any trace: Finally, the boy says, “You knew my mother?” “No.” The High Mage of Evenere adjusts his glasses. “But I knew your father.” OR Callum goes to Evenere post-s4 to hunt down info on Aaravos

The Unimaginable: “Don’t marry him.” / You always call your daughter a princess. You don’t expect it to come true. AKA Harrai’s courtship with her parents’ feelings over it and her death

I’m hoping to get the first one out before S5 since it’s a post-S4 speculation thing (even if I don’t expect it to line up with canon at all but hey, fanon’s gonna fanon) and I have no time estimate on the second, only Eventually, lmao

But traditionally I HC as Amaya and Sarai growing up away from the castle in a smaller village (still in Katolis as a kingdom though) with Amaya being head crownguard and Sarai taking up the post when Amaya leaves to join and/or lead the Standing Battalion instead. I actually touch on some of this in my Viren adopts Rayla AU as well, funnily enough (which I still very much want to get back to)