#in a way thats both sorrowful and hopeful

[something2believe]

saw a video of some guy's commute home from work, capturing summer in copenhagen, and it was strangely emotional for me

[hauntingblue]

Oh my god why........ why would someone do this omg.... feminism would have saved them all... lesbianism too...

[hibiskissess]

Lonesome Love

*ੈ✩‧₊˚

Summary: You’re about to leave Twisted Wonderland but both Malleus and Leona have yet to tell you their true feelings. Who’s affection will you accept?

╰┈➤ Part 1 (here!) | Part 2 (Leona Route) | Part 2 (Malleus Route)

It had been over a whole year since you were sent into Twisted Wonderland and taken away from your old life.

As the time stretched longer with each month, you were beginning to lose hope that Crowley or yourself would ever truly find a way for you to return home.

So when he called you to his office during class, you had simply assumed that Grim had done something while you weren’t looking and gotten in trouble. Instead, Crowley told you the great news of how he finally found a way back, stirring a cocktail of both happiness and regret inside of you.

Sure, you were happy that you could finally go back home and see your family and friends, but you had also grown a family here too.

Your feet felt heavy as you left the headmage’s office. A week- thats all the time you had before you’d be sent home. Only a week to say goodbye to everyone that had helped and cared for you during your time here.

❀。• *₊°。

Leona found out you were leaving from an offhand comment Ruggie left while walking to lunch.

“Who’re you gonna nap on now? Better not expect me to do it.” Ruggie teased, his eyes meeting Leona’s.

Leona’s eyebrows inched closer together, judging the other student’s words. “Huh? What’re you on about?” he questioned, his tail swiping slowly behind him.

“Haven’t you heard? The prefects going home soon. Finally found a way outta here.” Ruggie quirked his head to the side, “You seriously didn’t know? I thought for sure they’d tell you, considering how close you two are.” he smirked, gaging Leona’s reaction.

“Knock it off.” Leona curtly responded, cutting the conversation short.

Why didn’t you tell him? Out of everyone, surely, wouldn’t you have told him? Maybe your relationship just wasn’t what he thought it was.

Leona’s heart felt heavy in his chest during the remainder of his walk to the cafeteria. The one person who viewed him as more than a waste of space for simply being born too late. The one person who treated him more than just a shadow. The comfort he had yearned for after countless years had finally be bestowed upon him, and now it was being taken from his grasp before it was ever truly his.

Leona’s hands stuffed his pockets, begrudgingly walking to the cafeteria.

Seriously, what was he going to do? Here he was, thinking he had played his cards right and courted you enough to make a real move. But the harsh truth was always there to remind him- things weren’t mean to work out for him. His work would never pay off.

The rest of his idle chatter with Ruggie felt like white noise. While it wasn’t intentional, the news from Ruggie shook Leona more than he would ever admit out loud.

°•. ✿ .•°

Leona bathed in the sunlight peering down from the glass enclosure of the greenhouse, his eyes feeling heavy. That was until his ears twitched, hearing a distinct set of footsteps that he knows all too well.

“Herbivore.” he calls, “Come here.”

Despite the obvious curtness in his tone, you knew him well enough to hear the underlying softness in his beckoning.

You sat beside him, heart feeling sorrowful. This would be one of your last times here together, wouldn’t it?

A slow sigh dragged out your worries, leaving you to focus on the moment instead.

“…I wanted to tell you that I’m going back home in five days. Your company has really meant a lot for me during my time here, and I just wanted to thank you.”

A box emerged from your pocket, being offered to Leona with an unsure look.

“I hope you like it. It might not be up to par with your princely standards.” you jest, hoping to lighten up the somber mood.

Inside the velvety box was a golden bangle. It glistened in the sun, almost as if it was sunlight itself- like how you were the sun that shown through his seemingly endless twilight of self loathing.

“I saw it while I was out in town a few weeks ago and thought of you. I didn’t know when it would be the best time to give you it, so I thought now was better than never.”

Silence washed over the both of you, causing you to feel more hesitant about even giving it to him. “You don’t have to wear it, y’know. I just thought you’d…“

You stopped yourself short once you saw his expression.

Just for a moment, even if it was just a split second, you saw the look of sorrow emerge onto his features. Just as quickly as it appeared, his heartache faded away as he smirked causally as if your sentiment hadn’t phased him in the slightest.

“You don’t have to worry about that. I’ll keep it.” he assured. “You know I’m not one for grand gestures. I’ll appreciate it regardless.”

He bit back the rest of his sentence— ’especially if it’s from you.’

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ｡･ﾟﾟ

The black velvet of the night’s sky was disturbed by the alluring glow of the moon lighting Leona’s room. He laid on his bed, thumb absentmindedly stroking the bangle he received earlier that day.

He had to do something. It couldn’t end like this. For once in his life, he had the control to keep something as his. However, the opportunity was slipping through his fingers like grains of sand. If he didn’t act hastily, then he would continue to be alone. The only person who had made him feel at home, like he belonged somewhere, was leaving for good.

He had to do something. He didn’t know what, but anything would be better than nothing. Anything to keep his love besides him no matter what. No matter how much wealth or fortune he possesses, nothing would matter if he was left without you; you who were worth more to him in his heart than any gold or money.

Worry began to slither itself into his mind- what if it lead to nothing, just as all of his efforts had in the past? He wasn’t meant to have a happy ending, he was meant to stay buried in the shadows.

But was that really true?

You had shown him otherwise. You showed him he could be loved, how he could still be cherished despite being second-born. Even if it lead to nothing, he had to at least try. Just this once.

.·:*¨¨*☆

Your nightly walks with Malleus had grown into something of a heartwarming tradition. Even after you learned who he really was, even after he overblotted, you still treated him like he was normal. Like you weren’t scared of him just casually looking your way.

That simple normalcy caused you to sneak into his heart. He thought he would always be alone; sure, he would have Silver, Sebek, and other people there to guard him, but thats all they were really there to do. Guard him because he was the future ruler of Briar Valley.

You met Malleus outside, the midnight’s gentle breeze tousling both his and your hair. A gentle hand came up to your face, brushing away stray hairs obscuring your features.

“Child of Man,” he started, “I’ve appreciated the time we’ve spent in eachother’s company. You brought light to the desolate place of Ramshackle Dorm just as how you have to myself. I wish you well in your future endeavors.”

His hand intertwined with yours, its bigger size engulfing your manus. His adoring eyes met yours, any other words of his getting caught in his throat. Once you left, it would be just him again. No one to understand him in the way you did so lovingly.

“I’ll miss you too. You’ve really done a lot for me while I was here.” you smiled.

“…I was meaning to ask you something before I left.” you broke the silence, your eyes meeting his.

“Oh? And what might it be?” the fae inquired.

“I was wondering if you could check up on Grim occasionally. I think he might be lonely with me gone, but he’ll try to hide it. Just… get him tuna every so often. He’ll warm up to you, trust me.”

Even now, when everything you had known for the past year was being pulled away from you, you were still caring for others. Malleus’ heart clenched, wishing that you could stay, wishing that you could stay here with him.

“I’ll do my best to provide. Don’t worry about your companion in your absence.” he tried his best to assure.

You grinned back at him once more, a tenderhearted expression painted on your visage. What he would do to keep you looking at him like that for eternity.

As the two of you adjourned for one of the last times, Malleus disappeared with a flash of green light. He paced around his dormitory room, being uncharacteristically panicked.

He knew he shouldn’t let his emotions get the better of him- he was the crown prince, after all. The epitome of refinement and dignity. However, that meant nothing when it came to you. You, who broke down the walls around his heart. You, who was just a simple human, was making the most powerful fae’s heart blaze with a desire for your affection.

The door to Malleus’ room creaked open, showing just enough to see who had disturbed him.

“You should be sleeping, you know. It’s quite late.”

Malleus pouted, looking over at the door. “Lilia, do not treat me as if I’m a child.” However, he couldn’t deny that it was late. But isn’t it in his nature as a nocturnal fae to crave for the night’s comfort?

Lilia shrugged, smiling ever so casually. “Okay, okay.” he accepted Malleus’ request reluctantly.

The air shifted as Lilia walked closer to him, his tone more serious than before. “Malleus, you need to understand something. Fate comes with a delicate balance, as our endings are already written in the stars. If you chose to dip one end of the scale into your favor, will the world ever end up the way it was meant to?” he inquired, “The choice of whether or not you want to claim the prize of the winner is up to you. Just make up your mind before the opportunity slips away, becoming just another memory.”

Lilia knew all too well what was happening deep inside of Malleus’ heart. After all, he had known Malleus for his whole life, along with knowing his parents. If Malleus weren’t to act on his infatuation now, his heart wouldn’t be able to heal no matter how many millenniums passed.

┊┊❁ཻུ۪۪♡ ͎. ｡˚ 　　° — choose who you’ll accept:

╰┈➤ Leona or Malleus

[barcapix]

lego picnic date with cubarsi pls evelina

✮ Secret Feelings - Pau Cubarsí

pau cubarsi x fem!reader

sy: [best friends x lover trope] the day finally comes when pau changes both yours and his life forever—publicly and privately.

a/n: im sorry u guys about the requests, i love each and every single one u guys send me and although i haven’t finished them yet, they will be done! i do see them all🫶🏼

warnings: pure fluff.

the parc de la ciutadella stretched out like a sunlit canvas; with the early morning hue, birds cooing from their nests and the cool winters breeze. it was supposed to be a simple moment for a picnic with your best-friend, pau.

supposed to be.

for as long as you could remember, pau had been at your side for the entirety of your life. the highs, the lows—the joys, the sorrows. it was almost as if he was a perfect puzzle piece that fit flawlessly into the cracks and dents of your life.

thats what he was. like an emotional plaster on every wound you scraped, healing you anytime you needed.

over-time, this caused a more complex feeling in your stomach to brew, something you couldnt quite name as of yet.

some called it love. some called it admiration.

all you knew is that you felt a different way about him. anytime you found yourself talking to him, your throat would get a littler drier. anytime he complimented you, your eyes would dilate a little more.

a soft spot—one that had your heart threatening to crack open your ribs at an unhealthy rate.

pau had dropped subtle hints so often, but maybe it was just delusions so you never pressed your feelings to him.

it wasnt worth the risk.

"this is ridiculous," pau mumured, crouched behind a tree and balancing a picnic basket in one hand, a lego box in the other. "we look like criminals."

"we just need to wait for them to leave," you whispered, tugging him closer to the tree's shade. pau groaned. "but my legs are tired! can we just g-"

"no!" you insisted, clamping a hand over his mouth. "do you want a repeat of last time?"

pau let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumped against the bark. "well no.. but you do realise i run around camera for a living right? hiding isn't exactly my forte."

"then your lucky hiding is my forte." you joke, teasing. he laughed—boyishly, the same laugh that made the butterflies in your stomach swirl.

he shifted, leaning slightly closer, his molten breath tickling your exposed neck. admittetly, your breaths were getting slower, deeper, as if your pulse had intensified by his mere presence.

some time passed, with a near silence, apart from pau’s constant sighs and groans. whilst you were peering around from your spot, you felt a slight tickle run into your hair.

you spun your head round, locking eyes with pau, whom had a handful of daises in his hand. “what are you doing tonto?”

“oh i- uh,” he scratched the back of his head, “i thought um… th- that you would of liked these?” pau extended his hand out to you, offering the daises with a shy smile.

“i know you like them.” he continued, barely audiable. His cheeks were mirroring your blush, and you could only hope no one was nearby to snap pictures of how flustered you both were.

“thanks,” you take a few coyly, trying to keep your voice stable. “how did you know i liked daises?”

"well..." pau shrugged sheepishly. "you told me in third grade."

you blinked, surprised. "third grade?"

cubarsi nodded, still smiling as though it was the most normal thing in the world.

"si, you were always talking about them." he smiled wider, his eyes dancing with something unspoken.

how did he remember that after all these years?

you paused for a moment, the weight of his words settling over you. how could he remember such a small, insignificant detail from so long ago, when you couldn’t even recall what you had for breakfast?

"you really remember that?" you inquire incredulously.

"yeah," he said sincerely, his eyes locking with yours. "you never forget the little things about people you care about."

the simple honesty in his voice sent a pang through your chest—feeling something stir, deep and unnameable, but you forced yourself to brush it off. it was probably nothing, just something nice to say.

“do you think anybody has seen us yet?" pau questioned, clearing his throat in attempt to filter the tensioned air.

you subtly scanned the area around you, only a quiet hum of the bustling steets audible. "no fans, no paparazzi... we're good."

"finally!" he stood up and stretched, rubbing his knees. "i swear, i thought we were gonna be stuck here forever."

you laughed quietly, meeting his eye level. you glanced around the tree one final time to make sure nobody was lingering. pau nudged you, grabbing the picnic basket. "im starving— if i don't eat in the next five minitues, i might actually faint."

"your so dramatic pau," you grinned. "do you ever not complain?"

…

after a few scuttles and falls, you both made it to a secluded patch of grass underneath a tree. the branches were providing a source of shade, something to keep the hot spanish sun away.

you rest the box on the blanket, the material slightly damp from the icy condensation. pau then places the basket down, already scavenging through the sandwiches you’d made.

“god,” pau muffles, with jam in the corner of his mouth. “you never fail to amaze me, these are just perfecto.”

you laugh, eagerly flipping over the lego box. “i know, you say it all the time.” as he reaches over to take another, you flicker at the design on the front of the box; pau silently fights back laughs with his fists.

“this..” you quirk, only now realising it was a bird set, “really pau?”

“what?” he shrugged with a proud smile tugging at his lips. “i think it’s cool, maybe your just boring.” you stared blankly at him, almost bewildered at the lack of awareness he had.

every single time. a bird set.

your features curved into a frown, muttering small indecisive words under your breath. you ripped apart the box in frustration, sighing as now this was the third time in making the same lego build.

the entertainment he was getting from this was too much, snorting out laughs at his own words.

"tu imposible," you scoffed, but a laugh slipped from your lips as you shook your head. you couldn’t help it—he was too cute when he was so proud of his ridiculous choices.

“im just joking,” he chuckled, grabbing your hand and pulling you closer to him. cubarsí instinctively curled his fingers around yours, keeping the winters cold away.

his eyes widened at your touch, concern etched over his features.“geez your hands are freezing y/n,” he warned, “come here.”

in a daze, pau pulled your other hand into his, holding them in a tight embrace, whilst his fingertips traced softly over your knuckles.

…

throughout the next two hours, pau guided your hands, showing them where to go and how to place the bricks, his touch more intimate than the last.

was he trying to test you? torment you?

you werent so sure if it was intentional, but it was becoming harder each-time to focus on anything but keeping your flushed cheeks away.

“wait, wait,” he paused, gently guiding your hand as you placed a piece of the skull onto the falcon. his fingers brushed yours for a moment too long, almost stinging your feverish skin.

you scoff, unamused. “i was doing fine, i had that perfectly!”

“sure you did,” he grinned, shaking his head.

you roll your eyes and push back a smile, gathering up a small pile of plastic into your hands. this time, you were determined to prove that you had the same artistic lego ability as him—narrowing your eyes and slowly placing them together.

without a singular word, pau swept your hand down, the bricks falling onto the blanket. only now had you noticed how much closer he'd gotten: drawing his knee to bump yours. "forget the lego for a second."

the brunette gently cupped the sides of your face, his eyes dropping down to your lips, then evidently back to your eyes. "do you know how hard it is to act like this?"

the naesusting bug was gnawling back at your insides, your eyes blurry in the corners and already guessing, hoping, on what he was going to say.

"i... like what?" you stayed oblivious.

"i already know y/n," he whispered, his lips only millimeteres away from yours. "its no secret to me anymore."

shit. busted.

the tension between you two grew, the heat from his body radiating over to yours against the harsh winters wind—to justify how close you really were.

his thumbs stroked back and fourth on your cheeks, your breath hitched up in your throat and slowly attempting to suffocate you despite the air around you.

"i don't want to pretend anymore, i've been wanting to do this for so long." he murmured and his words sending a shock along your spine.

"but pau- the paparazzi-" you point to him, only a few steps away. it was obvious they were there, lurking. waiting.

"screw the paparazzi," he exhaled, and before you could respond, his lips were already on yours.

the kiss was warm and unhurried, his hands steady as they slid down your waist and bringing you infinitely closer. his doings softly lapped against your own, a sweet sensation tingling at your throat.

for once, the rest of the world didn’t matter.

no matter who was looking, no matter how you both would be immortalized on the front pages the next day, it didn’t matter.

not when he was here, on your lips like this.

when he finally pulled back, he rested his forehead upon yours, breathless. "worth it."

you laughed shyly, holding his weight with your hand on the nape of his neck, your hands still tangled in his shirt. "your insane y'know."

"maybe i am," looking into your eyes, "but it was still worth it."

the distant flutter of the cameras faded into nothing, although chaos still swarmed you. after all the uncertainty, all the second-guessing, pau had confessed just as you had.

in this moment, now and forever, this boy was worth it all.

[ps: this was so rushed and i acc hate it but its something to post]

[shintaru]

𝕾𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖉𝖎𝖊𝖘 𝖔𝖗 𝖘𝖔𝖒𝖊𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖌𝖊𝖙𝖘 𝖍𝖚𝖗𝖙 𝕭𝖚𝖙 𝖎𝖋 𝖔𝖓𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝖚𝖘 𝖉𝖎𝖊𝖘…

🦢 m.list ♡ taglist ♡ recent fics 🦢

Tagging ~ @dzvelinaskebiyars @bfwooin @zyart-jpg @kuchisabishiiiii @sylith @i-nssomniia @wthphe1n @shimoe0405 @pantheonofbeauty

There is only so little you remember from the day that caused your never ending suffering. The pain was far greater than anything you’ve ever endured. You were at the hospital caressing his hand letting him know you were there. Although he is in a coma you’ve been told patience can still be able to hear you and feel your touch even if they can’t speak or move.

You rested your forehead against his abdomen praying that he’d wake up, that he’d be ok, that you and he and hyuk could all cycle again together. That moment never came. You raised your head slowly, the memory of your last shared moment in the hospital faded with each blink of your eyes as you stared at his casket.

It was your turn to say your final goodbyes. You rise slowly, your heart pounds violently against your chest, reminding you of the painful fact you’re still here when he isn’t. He was your anchor, how will you continue on without him your life has lost all purpose since you heard the news.

You begin making your way to his casket. Now that the time has arrived you can’t find the right words to say in fact you have none. He shouldn’t be lying there lifeless. You’re so angry and hurt that you can’t do anything but fall to your knees and sob. You didn’t want to cry in front of so many people but you couldn’t hold it in any longer.

You feel Hyuk’s presence beside you. He doesn't say anything nor reach out but when you look up to see his face you don’t need to communicate to know exactly how he’s feeling. You both make your way back to be seated and sit in silence for the remainder of the ceremony. Joker and Vinny didn’t bother attending.

They’ve both been drowning out their sorrows in alcohol. They sent their condolences but they couldn’t bring themselves to see him in person otherwise it would feel too real and they wouldn’t be able to run. They'd have to face the painful truth that he’s not coming back. That it’s not a prank or a joke to record their reactions to make fun of them later for caring.

This was real and there was no turning back the clock to change it. You and Hyuk left together walking through the streets silently. You both didn’t dare to say a word but somehow your feet had brought you to a vending machine. “Do you want anything?” You ask, breaking the silence. “Banana chips” he replies while getting closer to you waiting for you to purchase the items.

That’s when you reached into your pocket to pull out your wallet. You feel around but your wallet isn’t in there but you feel something inside. Thats odd you don’t remember sticking anything else in there you pull it out and see you’re holding a lollipop. His favorite flavored lollipop, the one you snuck in to give him when he woke up.

That day never came, starting at the lollipop is when Hyuk finally broke down. He leaned into your shoulder trying to hide it but you reached up to comfort him by gently stroking his hair hoping to assure him that it would be ok. Would it though? You don’t know. You hope with time it might be. Hyuk pulls his wallet out and pays for the snacks instead.

You both wipe your tears and take a seat on the bench near the machine. A guy with yellow glasses walks by and Hyuk stands up to reach for his arm. “Wooin?!” He asks him and you can hear how his voice is holding onto hope that his friend is still alive. “What the fuck man get off!” The guy shouts, shoving Hyuk. “I’m sorry” you say to the guy pulling Hyuk back to the bench where he sits frozen in the realization Wooin isn’t coming back.

Now you both know that nothing is promised in this work, not even a young man living to be old like it should have been. Hyuk was brought back to when he was a child when he made a girl in his class cry. He didn’t understand why no one around him was ok with him making her cry. He finally understands her for crying and he now knows why he was treated that way after her tears fell. He wished he couldn’t have understood that .

It was just you two against the grief in this moment no Wooin to make the unbearable bearable. Everything already reminds you both of him. You and Hyuk slowly open your snacks and eat in silence. Not another word was spoken that night but Hyuk refused to leave your side. He even spent the night with both of you coming to a silent agreement that you couldn’t be alone right now.

[harukyuu2]

Helloo I don’t know if you’ll see this but can you do a crossover of alnst x pjsk with Rui x reader they’re in round 5 singing ruler of my heart :33

you can also decide what happens after, but if you don’t like the idea feel free to ignore this no worries ^^ !!

This is such a creative request !! i loved it, i hope i writted something good for the idea <3 - Sorry i took so long to do it :x

!! - ALNST AU RUI X READER, writted for neutral reader but there are small hints of being a female since its practically inspired on Mizi, one-sided feelings for the past, lyrics on english !! colors: Rui lyrics, reader lyrics, both singing along

A round of applause could be heard when you entered the stage with a low empty gaze after winning your last round, that leaved you empty since you were passing the grief of losing who once was your best friend, she lost against you. All of your feelings were taken. The applause were deaf to you, they didnt matter anymore, or the monsters watching you, they didnt deserve your attention, it was already given by your rival that made them more feral.

The music began slowly, its rhythm setting the tone as you stepped deeper onto the stage. This was a song where you could sing alongside your rival, Kamishiro Rui—an eccentric boy who had grown up with you in the ANAKT GARDEN. Rui had always been intelligent, clever enough to live without a collar, and strangely favored by the aliens. That admiration, however, didnt extend to the other kids, who often called him weird and kept their distance, but you were different since you always finded a way to be at his side.

The intro of the song was long and calm, giving you plenty of time to grab the mic while feeling the weight of your opponent’s gaze. It wasnt one of hatred or fear—but of concern and softness. After all, you were one of the few people who truly considered Rui a friend, someone who didnt mind his “weirdness.” Yet, he recognized that he wasnt your favorite friend or what he wished to be.

He wanted you to lean on him, to truly see him, to care for him—just like humans once did long ago with their lovers. The feeling of being loved was what he craved most.

Thats why he decided to whistle, trying to catch your attention. But when your empty gaze met his, it only bored into him. He missed the lively spark your eyes once held back in the garden—the one that gave him hope, the one that made him believe you both could escape this hell someday.

"You can hide from the light

And still out burn the sun

Don’t you forget you’re my star"

He decided to start singing first, not for the score— that didnt matter to him, even if it meant getting his own death at the end of the round. No, he just cared to bring your light again, the smile that made him keep going all these years. Rui didnt have a problem with invading your personal space— if that meant getting a reaction out of you, he would always do it. Thats why he started encircling you, getting closer and closer while singing the next verse

''See the world in your eyes

A sorrow set in your sights

Like a fine work of art''

He noticed how you avoided his gaze, the discomfort written all over your face at the thought of competing once again with someone you loved. But he didnt want you to see it like that.

To him, this wasnt a battle—it was an engagement. Didnt you notice how your outfits mirrored the attire humans used to wear at weddings? Ah, a wedding... He’d love to experience one. The promise of eternal love, binding two souls together until death do them apart—it sounded so beautiful. Almost like what he was trying to do now: declare his feelings for you before death could tear one of you away from the other.

"My saviour,

God what a beautiful soul"

He fixed a strand of your hair behind your ear, you were really pretty in his eyes to have that sadness and discomfort written on your face. But when your gaze finally met his again, and you started singing by his side, his usual smirk returned. He glanced at the hologram as your score began to climb, the competition starting with the aliens finally votting.

"I don’t believe━you’re a liar

Night’s falling and

darkness is inviting us in

Let me tear it apart"

With that last line, Rui grabbed your cheeks, forcing you to look directly at him. He wanted a reaction—anything. He hated this. Hated seeing you so empty, hated how your singing lacked the emotions it used to have. But when he caught the awe flickering in your eyes, a glimmer of hope sparked within him. A part of you was still there, a part that wanted to feel, that craved something just as deeply as he did.

That’s why he grabbed your wrist, pulling you into a spin. His hands found their place—one at your waist, the other interlacing with yours. The shock and fear in your eyes made him smile.

Were you coming back to reality? Did you recognize this dance—the one you two used to practice as kids? The one you perfected to impress the aliens? He had never forgotten it, and it seemed you hadn’t either. Slowly, it felt like you were returning to yourself.

"Ruler of my heart, Ruler of

my heart, Ruler of my heart

You are forever beautiful

Ruler of my heart, Ruler of

my heart, Ruler of my heart..."

Memories of the past flooded back to you through the dance, though you were missing steps here and there. After all, until now, you’d been nothing more than a living corpse. You felt out of yourself, but yet the slightest touches of Rui and the lack of distance between you two made your heart burn, until it started to pump again, bringing you back to life.

...

"Rui?" - A child version of you called his attention curiously, wondering why the purple haired boy was studying the walls of the tunnel where the aliens passed by.

Rui turned to see you curiously not expecting you to look out for him. He gived you a sweet smile finding out you had a crown of flowers in your hands - "yes?" - He asked back wondering what you wanted, his attention changing immediately to you while walking closer

You smiled taking his small hand while offering the crown of flowers you did for him - "i finally learned how to do them! here, for you" - You blinked confused when he decided to take it but put it in your head, making you look curiously at the eccentric boy again wondering why he did that, he didnt like it? you pouted a little at that idea but he quickly shakes his head

"It looks better on you!" - Rui leaves a small laugh with a smile taking your hands and waving them around - "can we practice that dance you told me? maybe we can impress our teachers!" - Rui stated even if in his heart he didnt like being around the aliens, he just wanted you to be happy since it was your idea.

You quickly nodded running with him far from that tunnel, he didnt want you to get on problems because of his curiousity. With that being said, the laugh of you two can be heard everywhere while practising that dance, even if you missed almost all of your moves, to Rui you were like an angel.

Rui loves this memory so much, you were so bright back then, he wants to bring that back no matter what...

...

"Building up all your walls

Becomes a fall with no ground"

He sings while leaning back to see the hologram with the scores, he was winning and it was driving him mad— he didnt want to win, he didnt want to lose you, he was pleading to you with his eyes that you start singing again.

"In a single moment (breaking down)"

You sang those words softly, a sudden rush of emotions surging through you—feelings you hadnt allowed yourself to feel before. The desire to live clashed with the unbearable reality that doing so would mean bringing Rui’s death. Yet, at the same time, you wanted to escape with him, to turn back time and be the carefree kids you once were in the ANAKT GARDEN.

Even though those times were dark, Rui had been your light, guiding you through it all. Was this the price you had to pay for the happiness of your childhood? For being cared for by a loving alien? For having such a good friend as Rui?

"I’d go blind and go deaf

‘fore I’d lose you again

Collapsing my world"

As the lyrics carried on, your mind raced with thoughts. You didnt want to die, but your future had already been decided by the aliens. Why would they choose a normal, pretty girl for the final? No, it was obvious they would pick the eccentric Kamishiro Rui. Honestly, you would probably make the same choice.

Thats why, as he began singing his verse, your mind went blank, save for one thought—giving him your goodbyes. You wanted to show him your love the way humans did long ago, something you’d never managed to do before. Back then, the concept had felt strange to you, but now it felt like the only thing left to do.

"My saviour,

My one, my beautiful soul

Make me your god

I can give you everything"

"Night’s falling and

darkness is inviting us in

Let me tear it apart"

Rui could notice a change on you— how he wouldnt, he knows you very well. He was curious on whats on your mind while trying to maintain a calm expression, even though fear lingered beneath the surface. He was terrified of the possibility that you might become nothing more than a memory to him, what if he forgotted your voice? your face? he wouldnt handle that, he would scold himself if he ever forgets about the light that guided him in this dark tunnel where the final is an abyss.

"Ruler of my heart, Ruler of

my heart, Ruler of my heart

Forever mine to behold

Ruler of my heart, Ruler of my heart,

Ruler of my heart"

slowly going closer to him as the words repeated, with a new intense gaze that he picked on quickly. He hoped you werent thinking of doing anything stupid to lower your score— he wanted you to live even if the final was coming with a bad result for you, unconciously studying your face trying to remember every detail of your face because in any case for him, his win or death, he will be separated from you.

You caught him by surprise. His eyes widened for a split second before you pulled him in for a kiss, right after the last “Ruler of my heart,” where you both had sung with all the emotion left unspoken between you. You poured every feeling into that kiss—the frustration of knowing you couldnt stay by his side any longer, but this was your apology. Your final act of love for him, actually giving him the affection he has been craving for.

The interlude of the song became nothing but white noise in your ears as you focused all your attention on the kiss, trying your best to make it feel right, despite your inexperience.

You pulled apart from him with a big smile feeling the laser pointing at you for breaking the rules, the shock in Rui's face just made you giggle hoping he could live without you at his side, you could feel the robots coming behind you to grab you for disrespecting the rules— but yet all you did was finally separate from Rui with a grin since you were going to surrender, you wanted him to live.

Chaos erupted when small bombs appeared on the stage, releasing smoke as masked figures began taking down the robots. You frantically searched for Rui in the midst of it all.

You found his gaze, but instead of rushing to you, he simply smiled. That’s when one of the masked figures grabbed you, pulling you away. You stretched out your hand toward Rui, but just like with the crown of flowers, he refused to take it. Instead, he waved at you with a soft smile. It was already too late for him to run with you, and he couldnt either way.

"Ruler of my heart, Ruler of

my heart, Ruler of my heart

Ruler of my heart, Ruler of

my heart, Ruler of my heart..."

Among the chaos, he sang—part of it to calm himself, and the rest to distract the attention of the aliens. He continued smiling, finding peace in knowing he had given you the chance to live. He couldnt risk leaving with you, not when he was the one who discovered how some of the alien technology worked and figured out how to communicate with the outside, with the human part of it.

That’s why he would do everything in his power to give you the best future possible, even if it meant destroying this place. Maybe then, in the future, the next life, or in another universe, you two would meet again. He was certain that no matter what, you two would find a way to be together again.

Just like that he sang alone at the start and the end of the song, but with differents emotions since he managed to find a route where you two lived. And who knows? Maybe a miracle happens and he is able to be with you sooner or later.

[babybearnation]

polyam!lawhan + first dates

lawhan is the pairing i didn't know i needed until very recently (also courtesy of you—there is a recurring theme here lol)

yesss - for context to everyone else, we've been discussing lawhan over on @littlebearnation so if you wanna join in, hop on over there! also i made this moreso just... date headcanons lol, hope thats okay!

liam lawson x gn!reader x jack doohan (date headcanons)

cw: briefly suggestive

due to how awkward the three of you were, you decided to go on multiple "first dates" - liam with jack, liam with you, jack with you and then all three of you together

liam and jack's date was a simple movie date, catching a random action flick that both of them were already interested in prior to the confession of their feelings for one another

the date ended with liam kissing jack's cheek before rushing back to his car all embarrassed (he wouldn't admit it for ages but jack's heart was racing for the whole night after that)

liam's date with you was kind of a silly idea, but you decided to go to karaoke together so liam could "serenade" you (his words, not yours)

it goes well, you and liam have a grand old time and fall into fits of laughter many times over, before you two go your separate ways with rosy cheeks

your date with jack? mini golf. you have no idea why you went with this but, much like your date with liam, it was so much fun that you didn't regret it

you could clearly tell that jack wanted to kiss you throughout the entire evening so, when you said goodbye, you kissed his cheek and watched him turn a pretty shade of pink

the date the three of you had was a picnic - something simple yet cute to enjoy in between hectic pre-race preparations

the three of you laughed until you cried and took many silly but cute photos of each other until all of your phones were straight up begging for storage

you got together as a trio on that picnic date and now you really enjoy going on dates with them

shopping dates aren't that common but are always chaotic when they do happen - picking out silly accessories to drape upon the others, silly mirror selfies and awkward giggles in the more adult stores you sometimes decide to enter

movie dates also aren't that uncommon, especially considering the fact that liam calls the lil movie watching fun times you have on planes dates - you're almost positive you've gotten through just about everything on netflix together

you're almost always down to try out various random classes that liam and jack find on the internet, delighting in the chaos the three of you inevitable go on to create

going out for food after races isn't that uncommon either, even moreso if someone has a bad race - you like to drown your sorrows in sweet, sweet restaurant food

lazy days in bed during weeks off from racing started to become more commonplace after you three moved in together and now it's like... basically impossible to get liam out of bed in the mornings because he loves cuddling you two

padel dates - an f1 classic! you're not the best but jack is always willing to help you even if it means putting his hands on your wrist & waist and guiding you, ignoring the way you brush back against him

why yes, that did lead to a cramped threesome in the showers

both boys love you so much that they are willing to go on just about any date possible if it means the three of you get to relax, cool off and forget about the pressures of the f1 season for a couple of hours

y'all get spotted in public together so much... rip ya personal life, babe

© all rights to babybearnation 2025.

[unabashegirl]

Vicious 15 — mafia hs

After his father's death, Harry Styles must take control of the family mafia while dealing with his unpredictable brother, Silas. He meets Y/N Castellano, the daughter of an Italian mafia boss, and learns about their arranged marriage.

Author's note: Hi everyone, I need your help. I’m $1,000 short on my medical tuition, and the deadline is January 13. With 2,800 followers, even $1 from some of you could make a huge difference. If you’ve enjoyed my writing, please consider donating or sharing. I'M DESPERATE. PLEASE HELP ME! HELP ME HELP MY MOM! I don't know what else I can do. 

⭐️ Please consider donating here --> Ko-Fi 

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Every bit helps! Even if it's just a dollar! 

---> vicious masterlist <---

WARNING: SMUT

Y/N listened to Giana carefully as they sat outside the manor. She was speechless; what Giana narrated seemed straight out of a horror film. Y/N tried her best to hold back the tears that threatened to fall, but it was overwhelming.

“I don’t know how he found out,” Giana explained. “I finished the phone call and made sure to erase all the messages and even the call log. We had dinner like always, and everything seemed normal.” At first, Giana had been apprehensive about leaving everything behind, but after much thought, she decided to take the risk, even though getting caught could mean her death.

“I waited until the night was quiet and everything was silent. My bag was under the bed, so I just had to slip on a pair of shoes and run out. But he knew all along. The moment I stood up from the bed, I was knocked out.”

Y/N leaned over and grabbed her uninjured hand, trying to comfort her.

“I woke up downstairs in the dungeon, chained to the wall with blood dripping down my back and front,” Giana cried. “Augusto took his time. He wanted to know who I was speaking with. And since I refused to tell him, he started torturing me.”

Y/N didn’t know what to say or do. She felt it was partially her fault, having convinced Giana to escape with her for selfish reasons.

“I had to tell him I was speaking to you,” Giana sobbed. “I tried, Y/N. I really tried. But I couldn’t hold out much longer after he cut off my finger.” Her eyes drifted to her bandaged hand and that’s when Y/N lost it and started crying just as hard.

Y/N pulled Giana into a tight embrace, their tears mingling as they held onto each other. The weight of guilt and sorrow pressed heavily on Y/N's chest, but she knew she had to be strong for both.

"I'm so sorry, Giana," Y/N whispered through her tears. "I never wanted any of this to happen. I thought we could escape and be free, but I never imagined the cost."

Giana pulled back slightly, her eyes red and swollen. "It's not your fault. I made the choice to leave. We both knew the risks, but we also knew we couldn't keep living like that."

Y/N nodded, wiping her tears away. "We’ll make it though. I promise”

“We already are. Look at this place” She said with a sniff, “Augusto sent the finger to Harry as a warning. I guess they had everything investigated because thats how they broke into Augusto’s house today and took me”

“Harry? Harry Styles?” Y/N asked in disbelief. “He was the one who saved you?”

“Yeah. I was surprised at first too,” Giana replied. She had been locked in a guest bedroom when she heard chaos and screaming outside. Trembling, she knelt beside the bed as the sounds of running feet approached. Married to a powerful man who had wronged too many people, Giana could only hope that she wasn’t too late to avoid the fallout. She hid from the people who broke down the door. “At first, I thought he was going to kill me. But when I heard his accent, I immediately knew who he was”.

“I wonder what he wants,” Y/N thought aloud. “There’s no way he did this out of the goodness of his heart. He must want something from us.” Giana cocked her head to the side, contemplating.

“I thought you had sent him.” Lex and Charlie had picked her up and helped her into the car while Harry dealt with the remaining men. He was wounded before Lex and Charlie could return to him. Giana watched from the car as his men gathered around him and helped him into their vehicle. They drove straight back to the house.

Y/N's mind raced as she tried to piece together the puzzle. "I didn't send him," she said, shaking her head. "I had no idea he was even involved or that he knew of your existence”

Giana furrowed her brow, confusion and worry etched across her face. "Then why would he risk his life for me? What does he want? What if he isn’t expecting anything back?”

“I doubt it. You don’t know him. He’s calculating,” Y/N said, her voice filled with frustration. She hated that she was now heavily involved in everything. Augusto was probably planning his next move, and she knew she was his primary target. “I’m just happy that you’re here,” she added, pulling Giana into a tight hug.

Giana clung to Y/N, tears welling up in her eyes. “I’m scared, Y/N. What if he comes back?”

“We’ll figure it out,” Y/N reassured her, even though she felt the same fear gnawing at her. “You are not going back”.

As they broke apart, they noticed Charlie standing close by. Y/N's hand came up to her chest as she jumped, hating how silent and sneaky he could be.

“He wants to talk to you,” Charlie said to Y/N. “He’s upstairs in the office.”

“Alright,” Y/N replied, taking Giana’s hand as they stood up.

“Alone,” Charlie added firmly, stopping them from advancing any further together.

Y/N felt a knot tighten in her stomach. She gave Giana's hand a reassuring squeeze before letting go. “I’ll be right back,” she promised, trying to sound more confident than she felt.

Giana nodded, worry etched on her face. “Be careful.”

Y/N took a deep breath and followed Charlie up the stairs, her mind racing with possibilities. As they reached the office door, Charlie opened it and gestured for her to enter. She stepped inside, her heart pounding.

Harry was seated on the couch, shirtless, his wound neatly bandaged, his expression serious. The room was dimly lit, the shadows playing across his face, heightening the tension. He looked up as Y/N entered, his eyes locking onto hers with an intensity that made her heart skip a beat.

Y/N felt a surge of anxiety as she stepped further into the room, her footsteps almost silent on the wooden floor. She could feel the weight of the situation pressing down on her, and the sight of Harry’s bandaged wound only made the reality of their predicament more tangible.

“Sit down,” Harry said, his voice calm but firm, breaking the silence that hung in the air. He gestured to the chair opposite him.

Y/N nodded and moved to sit, her hands clasped tightly in her lap to hide their trembling. She took a deep breath, trying to steady herself. “What’s this about?”

Harry leaned forward slightly, wincing from the pain but maintaining his focus. “We need to discuss our next move. Augusto won’t take Giana’s escape lightly, and he’s going to come after us with everything he’s got. We need to be ready.”

Y/N felt a chill run down her spine at the mention of Augusto. She nodded slowly. “I understand. But what exactly do you need from me?”

“I need you to stay put in the manor. I can only protect you if I know where you are at all times,” Harry said firmly, his eyes meeting Y/N's with a mix of concern and determination.

"He's not just going to come after Giana; he'll come after you too. No more escaping, Y/N," Harry warned solemnly, his voice tinged with urgency. His finger ran down the edge of the glass of whiskey he held, his gaze flickering towards the windows as if expecting trouble to burst through them at any moment.

Y/N felt a chill run down her spine at Harry's words. The gravity of their situation weighed heavily on her. She had hoped their recent actions would throw Augusto off their trail, but Harry's words reminded her of the looming threat.

"Do you know how to shoot and fight?" Harry asked, despite his reluctance to show it, ensuring her safety was one of his top priorities. He needed her by his side; if she were kidnapped, he couldn't fulfill his role.

"No," she admitted, feeling embarrassed. She had been born into a family known for their cruel tactics, yet she felt utterly helpless. Federico had ensured she couldn't fend for herself, a consequence of her own failure to insist on learning.

Harry's expression softened momentarily as he observed her embarrassment.

"Alright. You'll start training with Charlie and Lex tomorrow," he said, his tone firm but reassuring.

"Harry? What if I get caught?" she nervously muttered, fingers fidgeting with unease. It was the first time Harry glimpsed her fear. He set his glass down, sitting up as he contemplated the possibility of her capture. His jaw clenched, nostrils flaring as the thought ignited a fire within him.

"That's not going to happen," he managed to say, his voice firm with resolve. The mere idea of Augusto getting hold of her sent a chill down his spine. A woman of Y/N's caliber and beauty was more vulnerable than any of his men.

For the first time in a long while, Harry felt fear creep in, despite his efforts to suppress it.

"Is that all?" Y/N asked, shaking off the sudden tension and anxiety. Harry nodded silently, allowing her to leave. He needed time to think, pondering over the 'what ifs'. Something was shifting within him.

"Thank you for saving Giana," Y/N said gratefully.

“Consider it your wedding gift," Harry replied, his voice carrying a hint of solemnity.

“I actually wanted to talk to you about that. Can I start planning the wedding?” Y/N asked tentatively, her voice betraying a mix of hope and apprehension.

Harry hesitated, his mind racing with conflicting emotions. He had always prided himself on being the cold, and emotionless, detached from personal entanglements. But Y/N's presence, her vulnerability, had begun to chip away at his defenses.

"I guess that's fine," he finally conceded, his tone softening slightly despite his efforts to maintain composure. "Whatever keeps you occupied within the house."

Y/N was taken aback by his unexpected kindness and understanding. It was a side of Harry she rarely saw—a glimpse behind his tough exterior.

Feeling a surge of gratitude, Y/N approached him and reached his glass of whiskey. She believed in expressing appreciation openly, and she was never one to shy away from her desires. Confidence radiated from her, especially now, seeing Harry wounded after rescuing her best friend. His vulnerability only heightened her admiration for him.

As she took a sip of whiskey, she couldn't help but notice how Harry's gaze lingered on her. There was a tension between them, unspoken but palpable. She wondered if he felt it too—the pull of attraction amidst the chaos that surrounded them.

Harry cleared his throat, breaking the momentary silence. "Is there anything else you need?" he asked, his voice rough with a blend of concern and something else that Y/N couldn't quite decipher.

She met his gaze steadily, her own emotions swirling beneath the surface. Y/N stood on front of him, between him and the coffee table that sat on front of the couch. She took one last drink before placing the glass down and kneeling between his long legs.

“What are you doing?” He asked her as her hands went up to his zipper. “Y/N…” he moaned by just watching her unzip him with a small sensual smile.

“Let me show you how grateful I am” Y/N insisted as she pushed her hand into his boxers. He was speechless, and out of breath when her hand finally wrapped around him and pulled him out.

She was surprised. He was thick and bigger than she suspected. She had seen dicks before, but he was prettiest and the most appetizing. Her mouth watered as she stared at it, so she wasted no time in putting him in her mouth.

Harry hissed at the sensation of her wet, hot mouth around him. His hand came down to her hair, trying to hold into something.

“Fuck” he moaned as he bucked his hips towards her mouth. Harry tried to keep his eyes open. He wanted to watch her. He wanted to remember her with his cock stuffed in her mouth forever. However, the pleasure was too overwhelming, and he couldn’t keep his eyes open.

Y/N bobbed her head as she tried her best to take all of him. Her eyes watered as his head hit the back of her throat. She knew her throat would be sore, but the sounds he was making made it all worth it.

“Y’ can take it” Harry slurred out, pushing his cock deeper into her mouth. “Open that mouth f’me” Harry pulled her off him by her hair. He reached down and kissed her, tasting himself on her lips.

Y/N smiled as Harry pulled away from her, but her smile was different. It was seductive enough to make him climax right there and then. She took him back into her mouth without previous warning.

“Fuc-fuck, Y/N!” he grunted as she picked up the pace. Y/N could feel herself getting wet. She wanted to have him. She wanted to feel him, but she had to settle for this for now. Y/N didn’t want to put all her eggs in the same basket yet. “Y’ doing so good f’me”.

He came in her mouth before he could warn her. A light layer of sweat covered his abdomen and forehead. His cheeks were flushed, and his hair was tousled. His breath was heavy as he tried to regulate his breathing.

Harry was sure that the stitches on his side had come undone, but it had all be worth it.

“W’ was that?” He asked, his accent and voice raspier.

“Consider it your wedding gift”

-> Chapter 16

[sturnbows]

Slut! - c. sturniolo

summary: your bsf!chris comforts and admits his feelings for you after your ex-boyfriend spreads rumors about you.

warnings: fluff. domestic relationship. bullying. profanity. first kiss (lmk if i missed anything !!)

you were popular at your high school. however, not as popular as your best friend chris. chris was known for being the cool jock of your grade. you on the other hand, were known for being the school slut.

you and chris had been best friends since birth. your parents grew up together, so naturally you were very close with the sturniolo brothers.

the relationship between you and chris was different. you were always close with matt and nick. but sometimes there would just be things that only chris would understand about you.

when high school started, chris joined the lacrosse team and instantly became well known. and you stayed… underground.

however, nothing changed within the relationship between you and chris. he would always invite you to events to make you feel less left-out. it was nice. but it always felt different. you were always the odd one out, no matter how hard chris would try to hide it.

that was, until you got your first boyfriend. things were finally starting to feel real. and everything felt perfect. being lovestruck, went straight to your head.

you were used to chris talking about his relationships, but when it came to yours it was weird. it wasn’t normal for you to be the one talking about your relationships and not chris’s.

aiden. aiden was your first boyfriend. he was on the lacrosse team. you met through a ‘lacrosse game after party’ event that chris brought you along to. it felt awkward to be the only person there that wasn’t on the team.

as you were on the way home from the party, you got a text from an unfamiliar phone number.

“hey! its aiden, from the party. chris gave me your number.”

and thats how it started. it was nice at first. he was kind and your parents respected him. he was everything you thought you wanted.

after a few weeks he became protective, jealous, and defensive. confiscating you from seeing the sturniolos, blocking all men on your phone, and being next to each other 24/7 made you exhausted.

you started to slowly distance yourself from him. neglecting his affection was obvious. you haven’t even had your first kiss. but you were sure about one thing, it wasn’t going to be with aiden.

in these situations, you would normally just ask chris for advice, but you were banned from seeing him and you had enough. you just needed your best friend. and you sure weren't going to lose chris because of some boy.

when the realization hit you, you grabbed your phone and typed out a breakup text to aiden. confused and helpless, you clicked send. hoping it was the right decision.

anticipating the indignant reply wasn’t helping. so in desperate need of closure, you clicked the block button.

feeling relieved, you made your way over to the sturniolo’s house. knowing they were agitated with you was going to be hard. but you had no where else to go. you just needed to see chris.

thinking of an apology was pointless. whatever you say was going to be shut out. feelings of guilt washed over you as you walked up to their house.

and that brings you to now.

as you anxiously ring the doorbell of their house, you fidget with your necklace and clothing. only a few seconds pass before the door swings open and your eyes meet with another familiar pair of eyes. you see chris standing there surprised.

without hesitating, you both step forward to lock arms. the hug is relieving. it feels as if nothing had changed. and maybe it hasn’t.

that was, until chris pulls away and looks at you in sorrow. “hey. i heard that you and aiden broke up, im sorry.”

you look back at him confused. “wait what. who told you that?”

he stands completely upright when a look of realization flushes his face. “oh.” chris realizes something that you obviously haven’t.

distance grows between you and chris and you are eager to figure out what happened.

“oh shit, i thought you knew, im sorry. aiden is telling everyone that you slept with the entire lacrosse team because you were mad that he dumped you”

your face drops. “what??” you place your head into your hands and start to regret your actions.

you shake your head defensively. chris notices how you anxiously play with your jewelry as your eyes wander.

he wraps an arm around your back and traces small circles. he shuts the front door behind you as he guides you to the kitchen.

he always knows when things are wrong, and he always knows exactly how to comfort you. it’s one of your favorite aspects of him.

“no… no, no! thats not what happened! not even a little bit!” you spit out. feeling more angry than disappointed. you sit down onto the kitchen counter then chris takes a seat next to you.

“yea i never believed it, but he’s told about half the school, so i dont speak for everyone else.”

that statement freezes your face. you sit in silence for a few moments before a notification rings from your phone. you take a deep breath before picking up your phone.

“hey girl. i know you dont know me. and i dont know whats true, but i heard you were hooking up with wyatt? just stay back.”

you throw your phone back onto the counter. and grunt annoyed. chris wraps his arms around your shoulders and pulls you to lay on his chest. small tears pile in your eyes, causing every blink to release more stains on chris’s hoodie.

“ive never even had my first kiss, how is it that believable that i would sleep with the entire lacrosse team.” you giggle at your own words.

“aiden never kissed you? pathetic.” chris is shocked at that fact. almost glad. he makes you both laugh at that. he always knows how to cheer you up when you’re sad.

and finally, your friendship with chris feels normal again. it wasn’t the first time you were crying into his shoulder over a boy. even with everything that happened, at least you had comfort knowing you have your best friend back.

chris had you convinced that the rumors would only last a couple days, however it was now week 3 of hell. eating lunch in bathroom stalls, unknown girls giving you dirty looks, and murmurs about your name coming from teachers.

your friendship with chris didn’t change. in fact, it made you closer. he was always your best friend, but right now he was your only friend.

it was now a saturday night and you and chris were having a ‘scream’ movie marathon night. matt and nick usually join along too, but they were spending the night at a friends house. it was nice having one-on-one time with chris.

you are sharing a blanket with chris on the couch. your head resting on his shoulder, your phone in your hands, scrolling on instagram.

chris looks over at you, laying peacefully on his chest. you lift your head to look back. you giggle when you make eye contact and turn back to your phone. you and chris would always cuddle on the couch when watching movies. but for some reason, this time felt different. but not for a reason you could easily point out.

“hey emma from math class asked me for your number. want me to give her it?” you wonder, prepared to write out a response.

you were used to giving out chris’s number to girls. everyone wants him, that was your crime. but who can blame them, in a world of boys, he’s a gentleman. being nice and popular was rare in high school.

“no its fine.” you sit up confused. there was no reason for chris to turn her down. “huh?” you reply confused.

“why wouldn’t you want to go out with emma? so many guys would die to go out with her.” you ask. “i dont know… ever thought i maybe liked someone else???”

you are intrigued by chris’s secret. “whattt tell me!! who?!?” you beg. fully sitting up now, hands planted by your sides. you lock eyes for a moment before he sarcastically rolls his eyes and giggles.

he tilts his head back, ignoring your question. you and chris never kept secrets from each other, especially about the people you had interest in.

“you are not a man of many words.”

thats when he looks back at you. his aquamarine eyes meet yours. the silence of the movie collided with the silence in the room made the tension heat up. you are suddenly hyper-aware of how close you both are to each other.

he shakes his head, almost as if he was at a loss of words. he laughs as he looks deeper into your eyes. “i swear to god, you drive me insane y/n.”

chris grins and chuckles at your confused expression. “you seriously don’t know how to take a hint.” he takes a strand of hair and tucks it behind your ear.

you always felt safe with chris. you could trust him. after aiden, you didn’t know if you would ever trust a man again. but realistically, chris was always someone you could trust. you didn’t realize it before, but he was the only person you truly felt connected with.

at that, chris gets closer to you. the small mumbles coming from the tv makes the situation comfortable.

“what if all i need is you?” chris reassures you. whispering softly in your ear.

without hesitation, you connect lips.

it feels right. its not forced, and it definitely doesn’t feel like the “feelings” you had with aiden. it was sweet. not lustful, just sweet. he always knew how to comfort you. maybe being a slut would be worth it for once.

author’s note: this is lowk long as fuckkk. i had this idea earlier td and i jst thought it would be a little fluff blurb but here yall go. watch this flop bc this is my first post !! (reblogs, likes, & comments dont hurt aswell (>ᴗ•) ! )

taglist: @jointlesss @baileysturnz

[noturreigh]

Hello Hello, so this is my first time putting anything like a fanfic on the internet, but I had a lil hurt/comfort Elbert and Alfons thought that I had to share. (These two are my Roman empire istg) This can be read as ship if you want but it can also be platonic. I myself feel that their relationship is very queer platonic coded so that's what I sort of aimed for. Anyhoo please enjoy.

Alfons has been told the words "I love you" so many times. A drunk confession at a bar, ramblings on the way home in the early hours of the morning, babbled mindlessly in the heat of the moment during a hookup, cried after blessing a poor soul with an illusion. He didn't keep count because they didn't matter. They didn't actually love him, they just loved what he provided. Alfons' heart was never swayed. Apart from once.

It had happened years ago, when he was just verging on the cusp of adulthood. That day he'd had the rare occurrence of fighting with Elbert. His lord had been a tad too clingy, striking a fear through Alfons. Elbert was getting too close to him too comfortable, too trusting and that was positively terrifying. He planned to die by himself, alone so that no one would wander around with a hole in their memory with no clue why they were grieving. But Elbert was crossing that line. So Alfons had foolishly fled in fear. Out for a night debauchery to forget about it. Leaving Elbert alone at the whims of his staff in that prison of a mansion.

Alfons hated himself as he walked through the door. How could he leave Elbert like that, maybe his lord would trust him less if at all but he still felt heavy with guilt. He made his way to that cold blue bedroom, opening the door as gently as he could. Elbert should be asleep by now. He hoped he prayed. Only as he stepped in the room his own ashen eyes met two wide blue ones. Elbert was frozen in fear lying on his back, his pupils seemingly a whirlpool of deep blue sorrow, his knuckles as white as a ghost as they clutched his bedsheets. Alfons felt like shit.

"It's me Elbie." He called out softly. At the sound of his voice Elbert seemed to untense. And then it began. Thick tears pooled in his eyes quickly dropping onto his long lashes.

"Al!" It came out as a pathetic sob, Alfons' heart nearly breaking with guilt. Slowly he approached the bed.

"It's me I'm here." He crouched at the side of the bed, not wanting to loom over Elbert or invade his space. But close enough that Elbert could see him. Could smell the stench of alcohol and a mix of perfume and cologne that clung to Alfons' clothes.

It was Elbert who reached for Alfons. The greed that was ever present in the back his brain repeating that he needed him, over and over. He pulled him forward, grasping at his shirt but it wasn't enough as his attendant hesitated to move. But still it wasn't full on rejection like earlier. At reminding himself of the earlier fight Elbert pulled Alfons into the bed with him. Alfons let himself be dragged into Elbert's crushing embrace. Was he trying to crush his ribs as revenge?

"You came back." He gasped into Alfons's neck. Alfons slowly returned the embrace, moving his fingers over Elbert's back in comforting circles.

"I always do." He paused before letting out a sigh.

"I'm sorry, I should have never left you here." Elbert let out a sad sob somehow clinging tighter.

"It's okay, as long as you come back." He'd always come back. Where else would he go. He'd never admit it but as long as Elbert allowed it Alfons' home was by his lord's side.

"I'm sorry." He whispered again, his own tears wetting Elbert's soft locks. "I'm so so sorry." They stayed clung to each other for what felt like hours until finally Alfons pulled back bringing his hand up to Elbert's face. Thankfully, while stained with tear marks was his features were soft again, a small sad smile on his face. He leaned into Alfons's touch, a move foreign to both of them. As he clumsily nuzzled at Alfons' gloved hands, thats when that god awful phrase was whispered.

"I love you."

Elbert mumbled it quietly before finally slipping into a peaceful slumber. But poor Alfons froze again. Realisation hit him like a cold bucket of water that soaked him to the core. As he stared at Elbert's sleeping face he knew he was in too deep. Because in his heart he knew he returned the sentiment. In that moment Alfons had one thought. Elbert had to die before him. For both their sakes.

I hope you enjoyed, feel free to discuss any headcanons and such in the notes, there's so much potential with these two imo.

[ravenromanova]

Is It Really You? Pt. 2

Pairings: Other universe Wanda x Female reader

Warnings? none

Summary: y/n goes to her house in the other universe only to be met with her wife and kids? how did this happen? is she dreaming? 

part 1

your pov:

"(y/n)? is it really you?" Wanda says coming up to me and she puts her hand on my cheek and i take a step back

" Mom?" i turn and look at Billy and Tommy as their eyes fill with tears

" How are you here?" Wanda asks me confused and i give her the same look of confusion.

" What do you mean how am i here? how are you here? how did you get here? you were fighting strange when i got sucked into the blue light. ho-how are the boys here? where the hell are we Wanda?" I ask ask my heartbeat quickens and i can feel the start of a panic attack coming on. how are the boys here? This makes no sense.

" (y/n) come sit down please and i can try to explain as best as possible... i had a feeling this would happen." Wanda speaks softly as she grabs my hand and leads me over to the couch where the boys are sitting. When i sit down both the boys jump on top of me hugging me as tight as the possibly could.

" We never thought we would see you again mama. please don't leave us again. we missed you so much." Billy says taking my face into both of his small hands his eyes red from the tears running down his face.

"I-i wont leave you again baby i promise. but i don't even know where i am or how i got here. the last thing i remember was you coming in and trying to take the girl-" I slowly stopped my sentence when i saw the look in Wandas eyes... She looked almost ashamed at what i was saying.

" Let me try and explain what happened." She takes my hands in hers and looks in my eyes almost sorrowful but i can see a little glimmer of happiness in her eyes. She puts her hands on my temples and closes her eyes and suddenly i can see everything thats happened. My Wanda hurting countless amounts of people. She was causing absolute chaos. Then just when i think its over i see my Wanda come through a red portal as billy and tommy run away and hide from the woman that just burst into their home. Suddenly the other Wanda comes up to mine after being thrown around. My Wanda is on her knees crying when the other Wanda puts her hand on her cheek and says softly

" Know that they'll be loved." After she says that my Wanda disappears into thin air. And the other Wanda runs to the boys.

Wanda takes her hands off my temples and i stare at her in disbelief. I take a few moments before i finally find the words to say.

" So- so you aren't gonna hurt me?" I ask and my voice betrays me by cracking as i try and speak

" No darling i could never hurt you. i love you too much to ever put you in harms way." Wanda says softly and i look into her eyes to see if she's lying. I search and search into her eyes trying to really see if i can trust her. But as i'm looking into them i see the soul of the woman i fell in love with. I can see the softness in her eyes, its the way she looked at me on our wedding day. It's the look she had in her eyes the first time we said "i love you". I can see in her eyes she means me no harm. I think back to what they all said walked in. What did they mean when they said they never thought they'd see me again?

" When i walked in you all looked they you've seen a ghost and said you thought you'd never see me again.. what did you mean?" I asked extremely confused

" The (y/n) in this universe died.. 3 years ago in a bad car crash." Wanda say tearfully.

" You were in the icu for 2 months before the doctors finally said there wasn't any hope for recovery. you suffered a really bad brain injury that lead to extreme brain swelling that they couldn't get to go down at all, along with a broken spinal cord, 6 cracked ribs, and a broken arm and leg. i tried to keep you alive as long as possible but the doctors said i was just gonna end up doing you more harm then good because you had no quality of life left. it was the hardest thing iv'e ever had to do." She croaks out before she starts full on sobbing. I get off the couch and sit in front of her on my knees. I put my finger underneath her chin and have her eyes meet mine. I take a moment to take in all her beauty. I know i don't know this Wanda but i want to. Clearly she means no harm to anyone or else billy and tommy wouldn't be here.

" i'm here now my love. i know i'm a different (y/n) and i know its not the same but i'm here now and i promise i wont ever leave you or the boys again. it might just take me a little to adjust from everything thats happened with my universes Wanda. i know you mean no harm but after what just happened i just need a little time." I spoke truthfully. don't get me wrong i trust this Wanda for some reason but i need to make sure the Scarlett witch wont influence this Wanda like she did mine.

" (y/n) ill do anything on my power to show you how much i love you. but i understand where you are coming from. i understand seeing me like that wether it was this me or the other me you still saw the woman you love try and hurt you along with thousands of other people to get what she wants. no one should go through such a thing my darling (y/n)" Her sokovian accent came off really thick on the last sentence and i smile lightly at her words.

" I love you (y/n) no matter what universe you're from and i'll prove it to you til the end of time." She says kissing my forehead and i smile at her touch... gods i've missed this.

" Come on boys its bed time let's go get ready." She says after a few minutes go by and the boys give me a quick hug and kiss before heading upstairs.

" Goodnight mama" They say as they run to go get ready for bed

" Goodnight my loves. i'll see you in the morning i promise." I say blowing them both a kiss. Maybe i can get used to this universe. I have everything i've ever wanted within my reach. My wife and my children. What more can a girl ask for.

i do not give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on another site

series masterlist

masterlist

[lovelacebarbee]

Sometime ago, we created the undead gene roe au in the ww2 rpf server. Its sad, funny, thoughful and more!

We are having fun over there making our favourite medics life hell.Thank you to all and specially to @upontherisers , @leftenantjopson and @corrosivesaints, you guys have helped me so much.

A bit of context, in this au besides gene, babe is cursed to be reincarnated, this scene takes place before gene and Anthony Mayfield, our ww1 babe ship out to war.

But thats enough of me talking, lets get on with the fic!

----------------------------------------------------------

There is no greater sorrow than thinking back upon a happy time in misery- Dante, the Divine Comedy

"You got me a gift?

"Yeah, i mean it will be a while before we get back to the States, and well, I know you usually dont go out much, so i figured I might get something for you."

He handed me a expensive looking bag, probably from some of those found in the richer parts of the city, the parts were i would never go.

"Thats.... Very nice of you, Anthony"

"Well this is what friends do for each other. And please dont call me Anthony, I told already you you can just call me babe......... Well get on with it, open It !!!"

"Right now?"

I felt that this was too intimate of a gesture to do in public, a gesture meant between two lovers, not two soldiers ready to go to war.

"Well, we might not get another time to relax and be alone once we board that boat"

Seeing as i wasnt moving, he grabbed me and we started wrestreling, he was stronger but i was faster, and i had more experience fighting dirty.

We ended up on the floor, my hands keeping his arms behind his back. We spent a couple of seconds breathing heavily, i could feel his exahustion in the way his shoulders relaxed. Then, after the adreline had worn off, i realiced the position we were both in, and i quickly got Up and release Anthony.

"Okay, okay, leave me alone, I will open it"

I grabbed the bag that had been dropped during our previous activities.

Inside the bag was a small blue box, tied toguether with a matching ribbon. It looked expensive, sure, i knew Anthony had some money, at least much more than i had, but this was excessive, even for him.

I slowly opened the box, revealing a beautiful ornate lighter. Brand new. I grabbed it and spun It so i could see it more clearly. And then i saw it.

On its side, there were two intertwined letters. A G and a T. Gene and Tally.

"Wow, thats very beautiful"

"Do you like It? I figured you would like that. You keep talking of that sister of yours and that way you can keep her close during the war"

Somehow, that declaration was the worst of it. So intimate, the way he had remembered me talking about Tally. I couldnt say i loved the gift. Not to him. But what to say?

I looked at him. We were both too young, his face hopeful expecting my answer. He didnt know death like i did. He still had hope that we would make It somehow.

But today was not the day i reminded him of that. Today we were two boys happily enjoying our last days of freedom.

"It Will be handy for sure. Thank you, really, It means a lot"

"Well as long as you dont lose it somewhere in Europe my friend, i Will be happy"

He slung his arm around me. I had to force my mouth shut as not to say that i would be happy so long as i had him with me.

[dervampireprince]

Hello!

Correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s my understanding that most (or all) of your original characters exist in roughly the same universe. Do you have a timeline laid out or just a general idea for where everyone fits in that you could share? /genq

Your world feels so big and real and i’d love to have a better handle on the timeline.

Thanks so much in advance and for all of your lovely stories <3

yes all my audio ocs so far (apart from sorrow since he's a marvel oc) exist in the same earth.

i don't have any sort of timeline. honestly like... i worry people think more world building and plot exists than there actually is. i was just making asmr videos, i wasn't thinking there needed to be a world or a story. and yes some characters are connected, but the plot thats going on right now with ambrose and arden and johann was only something i've been planning since december. there was never any plans before that to have a bigger story for them. like if i think about it too long then i worry i've messed it all up because lucien and lysander and cassius live in made-up kingdoms, but ambrose lives in germany and england which are real places. i don't know how to reconcile those things and have both be true. i guess you can think about it like our earth with an alternate history and monsters but i don't really want people thinking about it too hard because this isn't some sort of actual story, like there was no planned world or planned world building and when people try and work things out it makes me feel bad because i didn't plan for that, there is no greater world lore. or maybe i change things and have lysander, lucien and cassius exist in a separate world. i don't know.

i was just making random characters with no backstory or plans for asmr audios and then some people liked them enough that i gave a couple of them a backstory, that's it.

i can't give you any sort of proper timeline but i can say that lucien, lysander, cassius, hawthorn, ellis and dmitri's audios take place before the 1900s, there's no internet or cars or modern technology in their audio settings. johann's take place in the 1700s. and everyone else in in the modern, present day.

but that's all i got. there's no years for them, i don't know if hawthorn and ellis exist at the same time or hundreds of years apart.

i'm sorry if the audios give the impression that there's more going on, but i think most asmr audio channels are just making up characters and not really planning lord of the rings style worlds. i know some do, some do have planned backstories and kingdoms and languages. but i think most of us just make characters and not so much worlds.

when people ask questions about ocs like this i just feel bad. i don't have the answers you want. because none exist. i've just been making characters for asmr audios, i wasn't trying to plan a fantasy novel series or anything. i improvise my audios, i don't script them, i can't remember what i've said the moment i finish recording, there's no way for me to have amazing consistency with the audios and world building. this backstory series with ambrose and arden is the first time i've scripted things because i wanted to get things right and it to be a proper story, but i don't want to always be making audios like that.

i think if i spent too much time agonising over making up cities and languages that i would stop enjoying these characters, that it would get too stressful. i already have a fantasy story i've been doing that with since i was 12 and it's honestly stressful thinking that you can't share a character with people until you have tolkien level world building. i'd like to introduce those characters from my fantasy story to you one day as audio ocs. instead of agonising over trying to write books or comics which i'm not suited for, allowing myself to tell parts of the story through getting to know the characters first hand and hope that it's an enjoyable way to get to know them.

oh this got long. i guess i just felt bad you said the world feels big and real when really there isn't really a world there in my opinion. i mean there's one god, and i've struggled to think of any others, and if different characters mention the same things is good enough for people to enjoy those connections then okay. i just don't personally don't feel i've done enough, but i also wasn't supposed too or at elast... i didn't know i was supposed too. idk maybe every other asmrist does plan out massive stories first, if they do i didn't know that, i thought what i was doing was okay, i didn't mean to make anyone feel tricked into thinking there's more planning here than there is.

[senkusphone]

Dr. Stone chapter 3D trivia post

Hello, um. I hope yall had a pleasant solstice celebration of your choice- I've been pondering whether what we just saw merits a triva post, but let's try to squeeze some for the sake of completion, shall we?

Check out also my trivia posts for chapters 1D and 2D.

They're the same picture.

It took me way too long to notice what was off in this cover, it seems to be nothing but an aesthetic choice. Other than these off colors, this specific suika melon design first appeared during the Treasure island arc, right after Ryusui punted her off the Perseus.

To directly quote what I wrote at one time on the wiki:

Too bad, the ship Chelsea shows up in is not the Perseus D. Monkey from chapter 214 (which itself is a One Piece reference, as Boichi is a big fan).

Interesting that we get a nearly identical shot, instead of Kohaku standing behind her, it's Ruri and Matsukaze.

This posture done my Matsukaze is called Namaste (with other names such as Namaskar), which is used both as a greeting and as an indication of reverence all over the southern parts of Asia, along with other similar gestures. I know this is familiar to many myself included but I had never looked into the deeper details until now.

Figurines showing this pose have been excavated from the Indus valley civilization dating to between 2700 and 2100 BCE, making this piece of cultural heritage at least 7800 years old by the time of this panel.

Xeno has clearly had his hand in the architecture of the Japan side of the KoS, with some new constructions resembling his own Evil Disneyland back home.

Hold back yer tears

Kaseki has lived well. It's hard to tell how old he is now, he lived longer than the timeline's consistency thats for sure, I blame time travel.

At the time Taiju got wed, he was around 70 years old.

Kaseki and Chrome go back way further than the KoS, the fanbook tells us that Kaseki helped Chrome build his shed when he was just a boy.

Feel your heart a bit shakey? hang on there, we now get to talk about whyman's sorrow, and a small observation that I've made

Whyman can have emotions, the circuits that process that can be switched on and off, but the fact that a message can, or needs to be "left" for themselves, as well as his farewell for all eternity, has an interesting implication: once switched off, whyman loses the recollection of any experience they had in the meantime. These circuits allow whyman to feel, and also to then forget. This is useful, as emotions help them survive, but forgetting prevents the emotional baggage from growing infinitely over a virtually immortal life.

"If we remembered every single parting person, it would only be a few generations before the sorrow would pile up to the point it became unbearable. Maybe it is a blessing to forget. Forgetting allows us to get even. Forget sorrows as new ones replace them. Life can go on, if tragically. No accumulating loss that would one day make everyone struggle to survive and eventually pass on; though that last thing does also sound very much like today."

(10B points to the ~2 people who know where this quote is from, I digress)

So that's cool, and heartbreaking, but so what, does it connect to anything we've seen before?

Well...

In ch. 232 we see that Whyman does not know what created them.

How could that be, if they can remember things over deep time?

Maybe it is that Whyman chose to forget their creators, and everything they felt about them. Beings that they may even have loved in the deep deep past, and could not cope with yearning for.

The blonde, bangs & ponytail lineage.

The village graveyard. Last time we saw it, Byakuya's gravestone was opened to reveal the glass record.

A lot of recognizable headstones are still up now, some appear to have moved.

Other headstones might be gone or be different... The one with four dots that was there originally can't be seen in this new shot but it can be seen later in the chapter.

Also, I hate to break this to you, but there's more headstones now than there were before.

I counted 45 in the original shot, 50 in the new one, not including any that Chelsea and Senku may be covering. Granted this is likely just an oversight.

(I should mention that in order for them to match bottom to bottom, the top image is flipped horizontally).

(omg look at the babiesss)

What Xeno is telling Chrome is that if whyman went and altered their own past, then what they are seeing currently is the result of that, since whatever changes they made, are in the past after all.

They already happened and they are part of the timeline that leads them to where they are now.

Assuming they actually found Byakuya (or a petrified time traveler) means that either whyman created some sort of causal loop that is self sustaining (ie, the ramifications of the changes in the past include whyman going back to do them in the first place), or more in line with the many worlds hypothesis, that going back to the past and changing it creates a new parallel timeline where the repercussions of that happen, with no effect in the first one.

In the latter case it means the timeline we see now was altered by the whyman from a parallel universe.

The stone axe is a bit dissonant with where they are, technologically speaking, yes? Thing is, that's the one Senku took to the moon with him.

He's had it since chapter 1.

A few people I've seen mystified about this structure they unearthed at the cementery:

This is a collapsed building just like the structures that the Tsukasa empire occupied.

(shoutout to that guy about to die in the back)

Interestingly, this means that Ishigami Village is established on top of a once urban area.

I am always pumped for any extra bits of village lore I can get.

Did Suika's handwriting trigger your AI generated image senses? it did for me.

We were bamboozled again. If it ends up happening it's gonna be like the tale of the wolf. The moment we stop taking it seriously, Inagaki is gonna smack us across the head with it.

We were actually preparing for the poop on a stick to hit the f.a.a.n on discord. What do I make about the ending? I don't know, I got no big analysis this time around but I believe it's very likely we'll see more at some point.

[underratedandoverit]

Just A Breath Away

~2k words kip sabian & orange cassidy, it reads extremely gen (but it can be interpreted as pre-shippy considering how this whole au ends up going)

set in immortal fears/the belt corruption au. ive been trying to get back to writing, very slowly, and heres just. a brain barf from last night. i guess thats the best way to describe it. a whole lot of nothing but deep rooted hateful feelings for 2k words for near the beginning of kips healing arc

warnings; unreality, can potentially be read from between the lines as self destructive thoughts. heavy emotional hurt/comfort. kip is just having a really fucking bad time wow

@midnightpretenders0 @stormbornpirate

---------------------------

”I’m only trying to help you.”

Kip stared up at the ceiling of his designated bedroom, the words echoing in his head. He had heard them so many times before in the past, both in and out of this situation he was currently trapped in, and yet it didn’t make receiving them any easier for him. Especially when they came from the one person he really, really didn’t want to hear them from. The one he didn’t believe them from.

He sighed, more annoyed than anything else. Kip shouldn’t be here, and he knew it. He shouldn’t be under this roof, inside these walls, in this house, on this bed. He shouldn’t be related to any of those things, and yet.

And yet.

He was annoyed. No, scratch that, he was angry. At himself mostly, for allowing this to happen, for letting things go on for so long that he ended up here. For not being able to stand on his own two feet, physically or mentally, so that Kip was forced to let someone else do the dirty work for him.

So that Kip was forced under the care of Cassidy.

A quiet groan escaped from him before Kip could stop it, eyes closing as he felt a wave of unwanted emotions washing over him. He couldn’t exactly place them, give them names, recognize them, but it felt like everything at the same time; anger, sadness, sorrow, hope? He really wasn’t sure. The only thing he could for sure pinpoint down in the darkness of the bedroom was that these were all feelings brought to his mind but just the mere thought of his self-proclaimed arch rival.

And yet he didn’t want to feel any of them.

His body did its best to resist him as Kip tried to roll onto his side, fighting back every inch of the way to the point where it wasn’t even worth it. This wasn’t the first time his mind and body disagreed on the actions he should take, making it painful to even try to move, the pain leaving Kip almost paralyzed just laying on his back on the bed, staring at nothing. The feeling came and went as it pleased, but most often it showed up as an inconvenience when he wanted one thing but was handed another.

It all frustrated him. Angered him. Disappointed him, leaving Kip unable to do anything, left dealing with these feelings in his already loud head all by himself, all alone.

Well…

He could feel the shadows creeping on the edge of his vision, on the edge of his consciousness. It wasn’t anything unusual at this point, but Kip was tired of it. Having to listen to those whispers, calling him names, assigning words to him about how they felt about him. Telling him how fucked up this was, how fucked up he was, how it was his fault. All his fault, how they got here, how he ended up in this situation, how he messed it all up. All his fault.

All his fault.

It had been almost a daily occurrence now. He hadn’t been able to sleep, leaving him vulnerable, open to all of this. The shadows laughed at him, telling him he only needed them, secluding himself was a good thing no matter how much Cassidy tried to keep some sort of a connection with him. Help? Fuck no, he didn’t need help. Kip was much better off without any of that, especially from someone like him.

From someone like Cassidy, who was the cause of all of this. Well, after Kip had managed to fuck it up first, of course. He was the one to ultimately be blamed for everything, after all.

“Pathetic.”

Kip was almost violently ripped out of the serenity of the dark thoughts in his mind, the voice piercing enough to force his eyes open, focusing back on the blank ceiling. He couldn’t see anything else, nothing was moving. The voice, while distant, distorted, almost dark, had a tint of familiarity to it that he didn’t want to acknowledge.

The way it echoed against the inside of his skull made him come face to face with the reality that it was his own, without Kip saying those words out loud, without thinking them to himself.

“You’re disgusting, you know that?”

Kip didn’t reply, but he could feel a new wave of emotions crashing over him. Shame. Guilt. Disgust. The breath he took in was so much shakier than he expected, the loudness of it almost scaring him out of his own skin.

“So disappointing. Get up.”

He wanted to tell it to stop, but Kip just couldn’t. Instead, he felt his body working against his mind, pushing itself up to its limits, sitting up on the bed for the first time in what felt like days. His head was already spinning, the darkness around him hugging him so tightly Kip almost wasn’t sure if this was his bedroom anymore. The soft kisses it left on his skin burned, making him want to scream, both out of pain and the pleasure of feeling something other than nothing, but no sound came out of him. Kip just sat there, trying to find his breath again, eyes looking at the nothing in front of him.

The nothing shaped like himself, smiling back at him, the darkness so wicked in him it was impossible to look away, even if Kip knew he wasn’t real. That it wasn’t real.

“Was this what you wanted?”

Kip wanted to tell him no, it really wasn’t, he never intended it to be like this. He never knew it was going to be like this. If he had even the slightest idea, maybe he wouldn’t have done it. Done anything. He never wanted to even entertain the thought of succumbing to the darkness, to any extent.

Kip never wanted this, and yet there were no words he could say that would make that clear.

“You’re so pitiful. I don’t understand what he sees in you.”

He inhaled sharply, without intending to do so. Kip could almost see the darkness wearing his smirk, laughing at him. Making a mockery out of him, knowing he was way beyond the help. That these thoughts truly were his own, not just something the cursed world was trying to shove into his head anymore.

“He’s given up. You’re a fool for thinking otherwise.”

A fool. Beyond help, so much so that the one person who promised to help him had left him alone. It felt like he hadn’t seen Cassidy in ages. Maybe he was alone in this room, in this house, being left behind with nothing but broken promises, words that ultimately meant nothing. Nothing but lies that he wouldn’t give up. Lies like so many Kip had told to others, only to break them because he felt like it, because they were hazards on his way to everything he eventually lost.

And now here Kip was, abandoned like all his friends by him, lost like everything he had once had.

“All you need to do is give in.”

The voice was like a hot whisper against his ear, making Kip shiver, knowing how wrong all this was. It wasn’t supposed to go like this, it never was.

“Let yourself go. Allow yourself to be done with this.”

The offer was tempting. Kip could feel the expecting eyes on him, forcing him to turn away, as if he was thinking about this. Maybe on some level he was, contemplating if it was worth it. Worth it to keep trying, especially if he was alone. Abandoned. When there was no hope in the horizon. He could be done with all of it, just let the darkness swallow him, allowing him to decay, to rot away, mostly in peace. Maybe even without pain, if he asked kindly enough.

“I…” His voice was hoarse, drifting off into the empty corners of the bedroom, without Kip having no idea how to continue that sentence. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, what he needed. If there was someone, or something, that could give him that. To give him anything. Everything was so fragmented, so cracked, unorganized in his mind that it was impossible to put into words. Of course he only needed actions, to simply allow himself to be taken over, but somehow even that felt more difficult than usual.

Maybe somewhere in there, under all the filth inside of him, was still just the smallest light of hope. How or why, Kip wasn’t sure, but something in him told him that he was able to feel it. Despite everything.

“I-I… I don’t know…”

He felt the darkness pressing tighter against him, forcing the air out of his lungs. Hands on his arms. Hands on his chest. Hands on his neck. Hands on his face.

The scream that escaped him wasn’t audible, being drowned under the voice that boomed in his head loudly enough to make it throb for days to come.

“You don’t know?! Don’t you understand?! You’re nothing! Nothing! Nothing but a pitiful excuse of a weak, pathetic failure! Nobody wants you, nobody needs you! You mean nothing!”

Kip couldn’t reply to it, the headache becoming unbearably too much. He struggled to catch air back into his lungs, every breath burning, making him want to throw up. The spots the hands of the dark had been holding onto him burned, they felt vile, almost violated. He could trace the cold fingertips against his skin perfectly if someone asked, remembering every mark being left on him, the words imprinted into the inside of his brain with every word that had been spoken to him.

He didn’t want this. It was all too much, the feeling pouring out of him in an incomprehensible sob as Kip couldn’t hold the floodgates shut, being too exhausted and in pain to hold it back anymore.

Only as he could feel a soft pair of hands landing on his aching, exposed arm Kip’s head snapped up, eyes barely focusing on the concerned looking face of a familiar blond looking back at him.

“What happened? Are you okay?”

Cassidy’s voice sounded so distant Kip wasn’t even sure if he was sitting in front of him on the bed or not. It felt unrealistic that after everything he would be there. Kip wanted to reach out, so desperately, to make sure he was there, touch him, his face, make sure he felt him breathe. Feel that he had a heartbeat. But he couldn’t move, holding onto the little bit of solace that Cassidy’s hands on his arm gave to him. At least it felt real, even if it would end up not being so.

“I heard you scream. I-it’s okay. I’m here.”

Kip just looked at him, finally feeling the stinging of the tears in his eyes. His senses were slowly returning into the room, him into his own head, making at least a little bit of sense again. Cassidy’s hands on him, squeezing his arm slightly, making sure he was there. The tears staining Kip’s face, the salty taste on his lips actually making sense to him. His hands that he didn’t even realize had been squeezing the bed sheets so hard this entire time.

“I’m trying to help you, Kip.”

Hearing his name leaving Cassidy’s lips cracked something in him. Kip wasn’t entirely sure what it was, but it made him swallow thickly, feeling the lump that had formed in his throat.

“If you can tell me what happened, I--”

“Please.”

Kip’s voice was barely above a whisper, followed by a sob he wasn’t able to hold back. Cassidy looked at him, clearly alarmed, not expecting this from Kip, the tear stained face twisting into some combination of pleading and comforted as Kip finally reached a hand towards him, fingertips barely gracing Cassidy’s cheek in a weak attempt to touch him.

“He… Help me. Please.”

Cassidy’s face softened into an understanding smile, him nodding his head just barely before Kip leaned closer, basically collapsing against him. Cassidy pulled him against his chest, one arm holding him close tightly as the other hand rubbed his back, gently hushing him as Kip broke down in sobs in his arms.

“I will. Don’t worry. I will.”

[procrazedfan]

I wish you would write a fic about the last time Lucius saw Skwisgaar in person (any age/era of his life)

For the love of god, get a tissue before you read...

The King is Dead

He should have noticed the signs sooner. His hyper fertility. His love of aging bodies. His own body not aging. 

It took him a decade after the Dethlights for him to realize that his mind had slowly matured. It took him another to notice that his body had stopped maturing altogether. 

Whether it was because of his direct lineage from what members of the Church called “The Spirit of Creation” or it was his status of the “Beast Daughter of the Apocalypse” (according to what Nathan said the whale told him) he wasn’t sure. 

But it had made one of his fears into a reality. Gave him a confirmation why he should never truly emotionally attach himself to the world around him.

As a God, it was his destiny to watch all those he loved die. 

He couldn’t think of an existence more brutal than that. 

Skwisgaar trudged his way through the guards of Deth Valley, his grandchildren, no doubt, who regarded his presence with suspicion. 

He sighed with both a strange mixture of pride and irritation, a feeling that he had grown accustomed when he was around his progeny. “I was -uh summonedses by the king? I heards he was…eugh…”

He didn’t want to say the word out loud. 

The two guards looked at one another and gave him a curt nod, escorting him through the bustling village.

A hint of a smile played on his lips as he listened to the laughter that rang in the air. It had gotten bigger since the last time he visited. There were far more children playing in the grass that never turned yellow, wearing flower crowns, and singing songs. Truly, Deth Valley was a slice of undying paradise in a world that had been otherwise slowly healing from the damage of the Metalocalypse. 

And the person they all owed it to was lying on his deathbed. 

After the guards announced his presence to the frail old man lying in bed, Skwisgaar slowly stepped towards the edge of the bed, taking in his son’s face. 

Wrinkles, liver spots, white hair, and a gaunt expression. Instead of staring at the ghost of what he was, he was staring at a ghost of what he could have been. He did not know whether to feel sorrow, or envy. 

Lucius coughed himself awake, taking in the sight of his father in his blurry vision. 

“You came.”

Biting his lower lip, Skwisgaar chuckled to himself. “How coulds I nots?”

The dying king tried to adjust himself, but Skwisgaar wasn’t having it. 

“Takes it easies. You aments…”

The old man chuckled. “ Since when have I done what you told me?”

Skwisgaar held back his tears and laughed with him. “That ams true. You always are a stubborns little shits.”

“Fucking Deadbeat…” Lucius chuckled, trying to keep their last meeting a light one, despite the heavy occasion.

“Assholes.” He chuckled, tears running down his cheek. “You goes and dies just sos you has the last words.”

Lucius shook his head. “It’s natural for all humans to die, Dad.”

“You could have stayeds like me…” He muttered almost selfishly. 

“You knew I didn’t do what I did for me.” the old man answered. 

Skwisgaar sniffed. “Thats you didn’ts min lille viking.”

He chuckled. “I’m not a viking, Dad… there is no Valhalla for a king who dies in bed instead of on the battlefield.”

Skwisgaar shook his head, tears flowing freely down his face. “If there ams no Valhallas for the little viking who stormed Mordhaus with an axe ands steals my beer, then there ams no hopes for any other warriors.”

The king’s eyes grew weary as his father tucked him back down into bed.

“Rests now. You ams dones all you cans.”

The last thing that Lucius felt before his soul departed was the gentle hand of a loving father’s touch.