#in my personal time ive found these very useful maybe itll be useful to someone else too <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[tpher]

how do you make your oc screencap edits?? i also have a td oc and i dont really know where to start 😭

ok so!!! i use firealpaca which is just my usual drawing program. so i'll keep using it as a reference for my steps but of course im sure whatever similar program u use should have similar features

i'll be long winded for funsies as usual 💕

FINDING YOUR SCREENSHOTS

the key to decent td edits is to flat out trace screenshots whenever possible. stock pics will do, but of course itll be a lot more fun and less obvious if u use a screenshot from the show and put it into your new context

in terms of making your ocs, you will likely have to do what someone once called "frankensteining" your pics. this is where you use pics of other characters for their specific features and put them together since your oc doesnt have official screenshots to trace. this also absolutely comes in handy w canon characters! maybe you have a pose but u need them to be sitting. so try to stitch together two different pics to get what u need

it will look very scary but just trust the process. here is a random example i made using a dawn screenshot (where i removed the background), gwens eyes and eyebrows, and kittys hair

the sketching part is semi-optional. if you think you can freehand the lineart then go ahead but i assume your oc wont be a complete copy of something found in canon and therefore you will have to draw the newer/different features (such as the hair or the outfit) at least a little bit. and sometimes when i frankenstein the pics, my brain gets all overwhelmed so sketching makes me feel better jfbdjdnd

(in terms of my own oc, i screwed myself over bc his body type is so unique i gotta freehand it like all the time 😭

you can see i traced his head from his render (ALWAYS DO THIS BTW!!! TRACE CONSTANTLY), but then the body was freehanded using a canon pic as reference because tracing the pic wouldve been inaccurate)

THE LINEART

yes the iconic td thick, sharp, flat lineart. i achieve this by using a normal pen tool, turning off the pen pressure, and then turning up my pen stability to 40-60 (very high). you could use a curve tool if that works for you! but i would suggest against that for ALL of it bc the tool just wont respond well to rly drastic curves and such

the pen size varies on the pic. if the characters are close-up, itll likely be a bigger one. and then the characters' little details and facial features are usually a slightly but definitely noticeable smaller size. for the most part, ive had the bigger pen size at 13 while the details are around 9. or big size 10 and smaller size 7.

heres my technique:

as u can see, all of my lines go a bit too far. this is so that when im done drawing them, i can go back in and slowly erase where they meet and get them all sharp and pointy. this is just how i personally do it lmao. when it comes to facial features and other stuff that doesnt connect to anything, just get a close look at your reference to see how thick or how thin the edges get and do ur best to erase the edges to the point where they should be

THE COLORING

not much to it! the bucket tool is the best way to go. again just get a good look at your references just in case any parts have the lineart also colored in

THE BACKGROUND

you can find some generic td background pics on google or u could get them from the show and try to erase any character in the way lmao. if ur recreating something like, say, a dunc/ney scene w a different ship, then its very tedious but youll have to do your best to erase the canon characters and piece the background back together.

i like using the smudge tool a lot for this!!! just kinda pulling whats already there towards the characters. to save time, put your drawing visible on a top layer as you do this so that you dont have to edit the ENTIRE background, just what you need

THE RENDERING

ok so heres a big one imo. after youre done, youre gonna have to fuck up the quality at least a little. well not that u HAVE to but like..... to match the standard quality of a td screenshot? ive never seen a td screenshot in perfect hd quality outside of stock art. so u could blur ur drawing just a little bit. maybe add in the teeniest bit of chromatic aberration (just set it to 1 or -1). not ALL of them together but u do whatever u gotta do

my personal favorite is blurring just a little and then saving it as a jpeg (around 65-80%) so that its pretty crunchy and looks all the more real

obviously not a NECESSARY step but just something to point out. especially if ur background isnt the best quality so the characters have to match it

this one from yesterday i didnt even redraw topher bc i was lazy and he looks fine enough. i just put danny onto the pic to cover the other character. so i blurred danny a little bit and then saved it in a pretty low quality so that they match one another. look at those pixels. that crunch.

SO THE TLDR IS just trace and copy your references as close as possible. if you cant find a reference for your character, try finding another character w something close enough

[officerdougeiffel]

these are little things from my personal experience, not really essentials but could be useful

1. can tabs are so versatile. you can make light weight chains and pins out of them very easily (as well as other stuff like chain mail)

for chains, stack 3 or 4 (depends on how stiff of a chain you want) tabs of the same shape (I prefer the ones with a round, wide end instead of the thin little oval), cut another tab at the center of the smallest end and slide it onto the stack and fold the ends closed. repeat until you have 4 and then start stacking onto those. I reccomend following a video tutorial there are plenty on the internet

for pins, all you need is a pop tab, metal bottle cap and a safety pin. for the tab gently in the middle and place in the back of the cap. bend the edges of the cap down to secure the tab. slide the pin through the tab holes and boom pin done. you can also paint these for cool designs (I have most of my band pins made this way) there's also tutorial for these online

both of these need a wires cutter or pliers but those are easily buyable (or borrowable) from the hardware store I got mine for like 2 euro a piece

2. want to draw neat patches but have shaky hands/have trouble painting ?

ive found my beat method to be taking a piece of paper, finding your design on a computer, tracing the design onto the paper with a pencil and then drawing over the design again when you place it on your fabric. if you press hard enough onto your paper, itll leave graphite lines on your fabric which you can trace over

i usually use those acrylic paint pens for my patches since I have shaky hands (and the knock off poscas cost about the same as a bottle of acrylic in my crafts store) but you can always borrow supplies from friends or the shops. just one note is that you need to layer paint pens quite a lot depending on your fabric. I usually go for 4-5 layers for strong opaque colour

3. need jump rings/clasps/earring hooks/small chains/most types of jewelery supplies?

you can get almost all of those things by tearing apart old jewelery. i get mine mostly from my mother or my friends but you can also probably find ultra cheap stuff at the thrift or the dumpster or wherever you get old unwanted jewelery. it is a bit fiddly but really useful if you don't have access to buying these specific things since in my experience theyre always sold at crafts shops or online. again to take apart jewelery you need pliers but again, just invest or borrow. pliers are a life saver for diy projects

and save the beads ! you may think you wont use them but often you can reuse beads for simple rings, bracelets, necklaces, pins or some embroidered patches if you want to have some shine, sparkle or colour on your jacket

also by asking for old jewelery you might simply get something you like and can incorporate into your outfits. I got my favourite pairs of chokers from my mom cleaning out her drawers

I'm seeing a lot of people say that punk fashion is expensive and inaccessible, which is very wrong. here is a list of some ways you can make punk fashion easier, cheaper and more accessible for you, since that's... kinda the whole point.

others are encouraged to add onto this!! (just don't recommend corporations like amazon. not cool.)

1. patches!! you don't need to buy them. DIY patches are not ugly or boring. in fact, they are encouraged here!! DIY, in my opinion, is always the best thing to do when it is an option and is safe to do so.

2. speaking of DIY, spikes!! you can make them!!

cut the top and bottom off of an empty can. cut down the middle of the cylinder and flatten it, so it's just a flat rectangle of metal.

cut out a shape that is kind of a third of a circle, but around 3/4 of the curved edge is taken up by triangle shapes. (I'm not very good at describing, so here's a badly drawn picture)

roll it into a cone, leaving the 4 triangles sticking out at the bottom. this bit is optional, but you can fill it with hot glue to make it more sturdy, just be careful touching the hot metal. I tend to hold the cone by one of the triangles with a bit of fabric wrapped around my fingers for this bit. cut 4 small holes in your fabric in this kind of shape:

and put the spiky bits of triangle through the holes. fold the triangles in on themselves to secure the spike in place. boom. spike obtained. this is one I made and attached to a little piece of fabric to test this method out:

3. battle vests!! (like the base jackets). the best places to buy these are charity shops and second hand websites in my opinion, but if anyone else knows any better options, please reblog with those!!

a good trick I find works well on eBay is to filter search results to your country (or state? can you do that in the US? idk) so that a: fast delivery because local, and b: all the sellers of everything that shows up are in YOUR TIME ZONE.

why is this important? when people sell something for really cheap, it goes FAST. check eBay at like, 2am or something. all the scalpers in your area are asleep. grab the cheap stuff while they can't.

4. sewing!! want patches, but can't sew for whatever reason? I've heard of a lot of people with joint conditions like arthritis complain about the inaccessibility of patch stuff, and that does sound extremely annoying, however:

safety pins!! while they are still a little fiddly, they're much less work so you don't have to fiddle about for long. if you can, you could even ask a friend to help, since it doesn't take long at all I'm sure someone will be willing to help out!! (I know I would, but that's just me, and I love this kind of thing). safety pins on clothes are also widely considered to be a symbol of solidarity, so if anything, you're adding some extra love and meaning to your patch pants/battle jacket.

if that's still too fiddly, fabric glue is always an option. unfortunately this means you won't be able to remove/reposition patches, at least without leaving a massive patch of residue, but if you're ok with that then fabric glue is probably your best bet.

for people who prefer sewing: as for where to get the thread, I've heard a lot of people recommending dental floss, as it's apparently much cheaper and works just as well. I haven't tried this myself so can't confirm that, but I thought I'd share it regardless.

5. where to get fabric!! old clothes. rip em up. you don't need any kind of fancy fabric from the craft store. my patches are made of old jeans that I grew out of.

don't have any old clothes and you don't want to waste any good ones? I'm not sure about other countries, but in the UK, as long as you're not on private property (trespassing), dumpster diving is perfectly legal.

I definitely ;) do NOT encourage ;) trespassing rich people's land ;) to steal from their dumpsters ;)

or tbh it doesn't matter too much how rich the person is, since it's all going to landfill anyway. if it's in the bin, it's free game, but you didn't hear that from me. ;)

please add onto this where you can!! and if I missed something or got anything wrong, add that on too!!

[worldofgoo]

yayayay yippee (≧◡≦) i love how vibrant & lively your art is, i think my fav pieces are Horse Surgery & hanyuu (even tho i have no idea who that is) but that one wip with the rainbow is also v ery special 2me because it reminds me of my fav kind of weather ^_^ generic Which Program Do You Use question & also which programs have you tried so far? which one would you recommend for someone whose only experience so far wiht digital art has been scribbling in ms paint -_-? on topic, what do you draw with (mouse, phone, drawing tablet, ??) & was it easy for you to get used to digital art? i always get overwhelmed by the amound of different functions available so im not sure where to even start, any advice? which physical art forms do you like / would you like to learn (anything at all, i personally have been getting into air dry clay... well actually ive been using my sisters playdoh but maybe ill purchase smthn fancier :3) & final question how do you come up with poses to draw? your characters (+creatures) seem very animated and i really like that :)

HI okay i guess ill answer these in a list. actually will put it under the cut since i ended up saying a lot (and dw i enjoy being able to talk a lot so thank you!)

-THANK YOU im glad some of my more recent works (in my more current style) are appealing 2 people! like i wanna draw my own way even though i think it gets less notes... the higurashi fanarts (hanyuu and shion) r very memorable pieces to me because its when i started doing the loose sketches with the thin lines and block colors and thats the direction i reallyreally wanted to take my style in. also the rainbow is rian my friend rian

-i draw in paint tool sai! the only program i used before that was sketchbook pro, which i didnt like because the brushes were kind of... blurry/smudgy? sai allows you to zoom in and draw pixel by pixel which is something i like, and i like the way it does its blending. its also just easier for me to understand. i didnt pay for it i think i found some deviantart page that had the link, id have to find it again

-i draw with a wacom intuos tablet! its lasted me... almost 10 years now. ive heard newer ones are poorer quality in terms of at least the nibs needing to be replaced constantly, so idk what the most recommended tablet these days is. ive drawn with my mouse and tbh it caused awful hand pain so i would not recommend this. i draw on my phone with my finger sometimes but i find doing it on my laptop easier, however it is doable once you get used to it

-the way i got into digital art... well. i still have an archive of my earliest art if you wanna see! i was 14 n just drew random shit, often lining over doodles i did on paper and coloring them in. i think esp if youre overwhelmed start with making like throwaway experimental pieces, scribble around, doodle stupid things and color them in with different brushes and see what you enjoy. and then you can just keep the files to yourself if they dont look too good or maybe itll look interesting, it depends i guess haha. the other thing that ive always found helped me was telling myself id draw every day even if it was a little scribble or the tiniest amount of work on a wip bc getting a habit going helped my art a Lot beause it helped me spend more time thinking n focusing on it

more specific advice for sai that i found useful- using clipping groups & the preserve opacity functions are both lifesavers in terms of not spending so much time trying to color in the lines. if you color in a base layer you can just put everything above it as a clipping group and just not worry about it anymore. i also really like using the filters (like multiply) to mess around with the colors a drawing has, though sometimes its more effective to just select a layer/individual color and fuck with the hue/saturation/etc until it looks good. when i color, esp when its not turning out how i wanted to, i rely on shifting colors A LOT. n also mixing colors together using a blending brush and then colorpicking the intermediate color. very useful

-for the most part i stick to uncolored pencil doodles on like, notebook paper (even though i have some fancy supplies X[ one day) but i LOVE making things with clay, wish it was more accessible to do at home. i have a handful of clay animal statues and stuff that i made in my ceramics class in high school. would looove to do more

-because my poses tend to be very pushed/cartoony using references of real people isnt always useful (though obv knowing the basics of anatomy always helps) so in those cases ill use other cartoony art i like as inspiration, i try to see what i like about their poses nd emulate that with my own. sometimes when im struggling ill just do a bunch of studies where i copy art i like to try to get a feel for what im missing. mostly ive realized i like when the pose conveys some level of like, volume and taking up a 3D space (which im still definitely not a master of but bullshitting it can be fun). and i also like to have a balance of curved and angular shapes. sometimes i try to just do a pose that conveys a specific emotion or i just make shit up lol

alsooooo i cant reccomend aimless doodling enough! just random shapes, turning the random shapes into creatures, trying and trying and trying different ways to draw something until you like it, i feel like the things my hand makes when i shut my brain off and just scribble can inspire me as well, and i try to emulate whatever i made by chance while doodling. and if your doodles turn out better in traditional i tend to consider using a photo of a drawing as a way to skip the "preliminary sketch" phase nd drawing a rough sketch over that which i then use for my drawing (or just directly color since i draw very fast/lazy...)

[nothorses]

heyo! hope it's fine if i come asking for some advice on something?

im planning on getting my name changed around late spring early summer of this year. but thats not what im worried about. see i have this sister and she has...not taken my trans identity super well. its been about a year or sometime around that since she found out via my tumblr. and ever since then shes been not...the greatest about handling it. she still deadnames me. supposedly she uses the right pronouns for me but only behind my back? and again - supposedly does it.

but to make a long story short, she hasnt really shown me or anyone else any signs in changing this behavior anytime soon. itll be 'bout a year since she finally asked for my pronouns by the time i get my name changed (about late may or early june but nothings certain yet) and shes told me that she doesnt think she'll be able to use my pronouns or name for another few years. but im getting my name changed this year? plus ive been told i can correct her but not too much or else she might start avoiding me which...isnt good for personal reasons.

tl;dr my sister has essentially said that she wont use my proper name or pronouns for a "few years" but im getting my name changed this year. any advice on how to handle the continuous deadnaming despite my legal name no longer being that? anecdotal or otherwise? its something thats been pecking at my brain for a while now. thanks in advance if/when you do answer this (no pressure though :])!

Oh hey, congrats on the name change!! I just had mine legally changed last week, it's such a good feeling- I'm so excited for you!

(though I will say, if I can offer one piece of logistical advice: start booking DMV appointments and stuff to get everything changed over as soon as you know your court date; most things won't acknowledge your name change until you have your updated ID/license to show them.)

As far as managing family stuff goes- it sounds like your sister is trying to avoid trying, and like. That sucks, and unfortunately there also isn't much you can do to force someone to make that kind of effort, either. You sort of have to decide how much it matters to you, how much you can tolerate it, and what sort of effort you're willing to make on your end to either put up with her, get some distance, or try to push her on it.

I think the best advice I can give is to think about what's important to you here. What are your priorities? Why? What do you need from her, and what do you want from her? What can you tolerate? What's worth the effort, and what's not? What hurts more? What can you do to lessen it? - That kind of thing.

If you decide to talk to her about it, I'd maybe try framing it as a care and effort thing: it's not about getting it right, it's about trying to get it right. Maybe a timeline isn't important- what you need to know, and more importantly to see, is that she cares enough to make an honest effort. Maybe seeing that's enough for the mistakes not to hurt so much.

I've found that even with the people who really aren't trying, that tends to motivate them a lot more- but a lot of people in my life are very guilt-driven, so maybe that's got something to do with it. lmao.

Either way, I really wish you the best!! I'm sorry she's being so difficult about this, and I hope things turn around for you soon. 💙

[festivegrant]

You said 4A finale fell flat and I agree but I’m just curious in which ways did it fall flat for you? To me, I guess I was expecting some type of cliffhanger. Didn’t have to be scary or intense, I just expected something. And yeah that could have been Maddie going into labor. And I know people can debate until the end of time about Eddie and Ana but personally I have no problem with them like overall, if you stand back and look at the big picture. Eddie is trying to move on and Ana seems sweet and smart and nice but when you step closer and look at it, Eddie to me seemed so out of character in that episode. He was doing things that he wouldn’t normally do. Like, ok you went on maybe 2 or 3 dates with her and even after your son throws a fit you still think it’s ok to introduce her to him that soon? And also in the middle of a pandemic?? When his son is high risk and his son hasn’t even seen his friends or other family (I’m assuming). It just seems out of character. And before anyone comes for me, I’m fine with Eddie moving on and getting into a relationship. He could literally date anyone and I wouldn’t care as long as he’s happy. And maybe that’s the point of all of this- to show he’s trying to move on but Ana isn’t the one. Maybe she is and I’m a clown but I don’t personally see it. She’s lovely but I don’t see it. Buck and Taylor was interesting though. I’m all for them being friends because both of them seemed to have matured

glad you asked! my response ended up longer than i’d anticipated so i’ll put it under the cut:

i FOR SURE expected some sort of cliffhanger. i mean, tbh overall the episode didn’t really stick in my head that much? the most cliffhanger-y thing we got was hen and karen not being able to adopt nia (heart-wrenching but good narrative choice) although i would have liked for them to really dig it in and indulge us in more wilson family moments before ripping it from our grasp. i love to suffer <3 and i just think that if we had had a scene where the madney baby is born that would have been such a bittersweet contrast?? like actually watching it would have destroyed me and i probably wouldn’t have liked it bc it would have made me sad but since im playing god on this website it WOULD have been fantastic narratively and i WILL pretend i wouldve liked it.

buck and taylor was cute (and I LOVE their banter), but i kind of feel like the sudden friendliness came out of nowhere?? @benjji2795 made a post about this a little bit; taylor never apologized for what she did to bobby, so it doesn’t totally make sense for buck to be so nice to her?? however i love taylor and im glad she’s on the show. one of two things should’ve happened: she apologizes to bobby and wham bam now her and buck are besties with a fun dynamic (note FRIENDS, not romantic partners, because they have different priorities and are canonically not romantically compatible!! and thats okay!!) OR her reoccurrence on the show is established as some sort of antagonistic ally. i think that would be so fun.

okay okay i have my own thoughts on eddie and ana and that whole situation. let me split this up to make it legible:

on eddie being out of character:

something was definitely wrong this episode. him introducing ana to chris does not sit right (for ALL the reasons you mentioned, which I completely agree with). As far as i’m concerned, there are two possible reasons:

eddie was just plain ooc and it was due to bad writing. it makes me disappointed, but i think this is the one that’s most likely.

eddie was in character, but he was jsut the worst side of his character. someone made a post about it that i found pretty interesting. idk if i completely agree with it bc to say that eddie introduced ana to chris so she could fill what eddie thinks is an empty space in their lives sort of undermines the whole talk he had with bobby the scene prior. 

HOWEVER this interpretation also gives ana the opening to have narrative agency and set boundaries for herself and tell eddie she likes him but she didn’t sign up to be a mom. but i don’t think the writers (or r*an, because he sucks and is also not that great of an actor) are thinking that deeply about his character (but maybe they are. who knows).

on ana:

i’ve said this before and ill say it again. the way she’s set up to be both disliked by the audience (because she’s so blad) and disposable to the narrative (because she’s so bland!!) makes me upset. she literally doesn’t deserve that and it’s disturbing to watch (both onscreen and in fandom reactions). i don’t know what else to say except i hope she either gets a well-written, significant story arc or she leaves the show soon. i don’t want to see her being a romantic accessory anymore. 

also i think she’s cute but that’s just gabrielle walsh kjdsfl

on eddie and ana together:

okay i agree that a relationship is necessary for eddie to be able to move on. like i get that. i agree. it’s part of his growth. here’s the problem with that though. 

the WAY the show handles eddie moving on is very blatant. it is very streight forward. ‘oh, he’s moving on? new girlfriend!’ the thing is, they kind of forgot to give said girlfriend a personality (see above). and BECAUSE OF THAT (or, at least, it’s a contributing factor) they have no chemistry and are terrible to watch onscreen. 

i tried to like them. i really did. i tried to frame it as ‘hey, theyre jsut two people who have crushes on each other and we can watch them flirt and yadda yadda and itll be cute, right?’ ive made posts about their dynamic together and trying to find an angle to make it fun. but i cant. i literally cant do this anymore. i actually cringed at nearly every scene they had together. it was unpleasant and boring and i would love it if it were over soon. if the creators are seeking to both produce a good/entertaining and moving show AND keep eddie and ana together, i’m curious to see how they do it because i truly have got nothing for them. 

anyways. In conclusion, I’m only emotionally investing myself in the wilson family, the grant-nash family, the buckley-han family, and fanfiction-based buddie :) <3

[agreste-image]

okay so to clarify on a couple things with the timeline stuff (like events in it)!

warning this is long af

all of Bustiers class wouldve been born 2001-2002. 

character list is:

chloe bourgeois

ivan bruel

alya cesaire

marinette dupain-cheng

juleka couffaine

luka couffaine

mylene haprele

max kante

alix kubdel

nino lahiffe

nathaniel kurtzberg

rose lavillant

le chien kim

sabrina raincomprix 

lila rossi

felix graham de vanily, maybe.............?

generally, if the character is around adriens age, they’re available. certain characters can control certain NPCs (kids get their parents or families as npcs, so i would control gabriel and emilie, and potentially nathalie and adriens bodyguard). however, im open to having some others taken. just ask.

the events of the show have been stretched over the course of 4 years, and akumas with episodes are some of the harder akuma that theyve faced / some of the most common ones (mr ramier is a repeat akuma thats easy to defeat, but someone like desperada was an INTENSELY difficult akuma). there are many other, smaller akuma that are more easily handled, and thus not shown on the show itself.

given the out of order episodes of the show, well say the last ‘episode’ that happened was timetagger, occurring in late march.

none of the city specials have happened (new york, shanghai, christmas..?), and the season three finale didnt happen. (chloe deserves to not have her development dumpstered thanks-)

kwami, their magic and guardianship work differently: 

kwami can use magic naturally occurring in the world to boost certain transformations without use of potions; example, if adrien goes into a timeline where magical beings, animal people, and humans all live together, plagg can draw on the ambient magic to turn the Chat Noir transformation into a cat person. (ever played kingdom hearts? if you have, then imagine something like how sora gets a different appearance on a lot of worlds.)

miraculous magic partially hides the identity of their user when transformed. this can vary from person to person, due to how the transformations are decided (which is by what they want and expect from it deep down). once someone fully realizes the wielders identity, the disguising magic doesnt work on them anymore. when used by someone from another timeline/universe, it generally overrides that person’s own magic (if a werewolf, for example, transforms with the miraculous, they wont transform into a werewolf while theyre using the miraculous.)

guardianship; im not going to have it erase the memories of the previous guardian, but havent quite figured out what itll do instead. given the finale/miracle queen didnt happen, though, its not a very big concern.

and there’s what ive already had the other characters do:

i started interacting with @eris-the-phantom-thief early on, thus meaning that Persona stuff has also kinda become a thing here. we can explain that away as a timeline slip, wherein two timelines are close enough to blur some lines. i would simply say an au, but by now, adrien has long since discussed things regarding hana and phantom thieves with others, so well probably have to go with that. (this also allows more opportunities for potential ocs.)

marinette has hung out with hana and adrien on multiple occasions. hana has asked if they were dating and both said no. marinette has had a sleepover with hana and alya (and, potentially, juleka and rose). stuff ive written involving marinette can be found under marimuse on my blog.

alya has done a sleepover with marinette and hana. she has also made an effort to get to know hana, with little success. stuff ive written for alya and anyone else in the class can be found on my blog under classmuse.

ladybug has been working with eris the phantom thief at the pleading of chat noir. she has earned chats trust by giving him a pair of raccoon miraculous earrings that she stole from the louvre, realizing the dangers of miraculous jewels simply sitting in a museum. ladybug is also aware that at least one person knows chat noirs identity, and has an idea of the multiverse, given said person ( @theheartmuncher ) is from another timeline filled with general magic. theheartmuncher has also filled in for chat noir by becoming chat picaro when adrien was transformed into a cat, and when he was akumatized. she is not aware of heart’s identity.

felix is aware of adriens identity as chat noir, due to adrien being a dumbass and mixing up the phone his father gave him, and the personal phone he secretly bought. he has matured since the episodes hes in on the show, and has offered to help maintain the secret by occasionally filling in for adrien while hes chat noir. stuff ive written for felix can be found on the blog under Signed. Felix Graham de Vanily

then, it finally comes to what has happened on the blog.

on may 9th, adrien joined tumblr.

on may 24th, theheartmuncher discovered chat noirs identity.

on june 6th, chat noir encountered eris the phantom thief for the first time.

on july 1st, adrien was turned into a cat by magic anons. theheartmuncher, as chat picaro, explained to ladybug that chat noir was on a trip he couldnt get out of, and he had discovered adrien agreste had been turned into a cat. (how he knew?: adrien stole his phone and managed to type ‘im adrien agreste’ on it.) adrien was legally missing for 24 hours, and was watched closely for two weeks after.

on august 1st, felix discovered he was chat noir.

on august 13th, adrien was akumatized into simulacrum, then was saved by @gardencracks and @daviscatessen coming to paris in spite of him telling them to stay away, and to leave things to ladybug (and, unbeknownst to him, chat picaro). adrien also vowed to move out of the agreste mansion.

on august 15th, eris brought chat noir the raccoon miraculous.

on august 16th, eris met up with ladybug and chat noir to discuss what to do with the earrings.

on august 24th, adrien fully moved into his own apartment. magic anons gave him two cats, one of which was a certified emotional support animal.

on september 8th, gardencracks and daviscatessen brought adrien to a large 18th birthday party they had planned and invited the classmates to. he also dyed his hair pink.

and that is the blog major-event timeline.

this is long as fuck and i apologize, but i kinda needed to get all this laid out anyway even if i wasnt potentially doing a timeline LOL thanks for ur patience

[mmmhowaboutno]

ive barely talked about this to anyone, i thought i got over it but you dont just get over stuff like this. i just wanna write it somewhere. a few days ago was august 3rd. three years ago on that day i was drugged and sexually assaulted in my own home by someone who i thought was my friend. i was friends with him for five years prior, so it came as a shock to me when this happened, not just because of what happened but because i realized trusting people is something i may do too easily. 

my parents went away for the weekend with my brother, and my “friend” was in town, so i thought i would invite him over so we could drink and play video games. we had been planning to hang out for a while and i thought it was just a chill thing to do with someone youve been friends with for so long. i still think that. i had two shots of vodka and after that started to feel more drunk than normal. i remember him constantly stuffing his water bottle in my face telling me to drink. at first he casually asked if i just wanted some water, so i didnt think anything of it. when things started getting fuzzy he would say “drink this, its just water, youre so drunk youll feel better.” he never drank from it though. guess where the drugs were. 

i remember bits and pieces of what happened and the stuff he did to me. i remember “across the universe” was playing in the background as i drifted in and out of consciousness. i wanted to watch that movie since high school and always put it off, but now ill never be able to watch it. i remember that while i was on the floor and couldnt move or speak he would make me drink water and tell me that i would feel better soon, all while he was rubbing my thighs or reaching up my shorts. i remember being unconscious for a long time, and when i woke up, he was in the bathroom. i could barely hold up my phone, but i called my boyfriend first. it was 4am for him and his phone was on silent, but he said that he woke up right as i was calling for some reason, like he felt something bad was happening. i couldnt talk. its like i was in one of those dreams where you try to run away but cant, except i couldnt get words out of my mouth at all. all i managed to say was “drugged me.” my boyfriend told me to call the police, so i did. 

when he came out of the bathroom, he acted like everything was normal. i can still see and hear him standing over me and asking “you okay?” while i was drooling on the floor and couldnt lift my head from the drugs that he gave me. i cant remember what happened until the police came. i only remember the knocking at the door and them telling me to open it. the knocking was so fucking loud. he kept looking at me and asking why i called the police, to which i couldnt answer anything. he started panicking and went in and out of the rooms upstairs in my house. he didnt answer the door, and they kept knocking. i somehow managed to get up, tripped and crawled down half of the stairs, and opened the door for them. i remember my dog barking and an officer placing me on a stretcher and so many questions being tossed around. they asked me how old i was and had me call my boyfriend so they could talk to him. they asked my “friend” if he knew that i had a boyfriend, like that would make a difference in him wanting to drug me or being responsible for it. 

he told the officers that i had had a lot to drink before he got to my house, that i was already drunk off my ass before he got there. they let him go. i told them where the drugs were. i pointed at the water bottle that was in his hand and i told them that the drugs were there, in whatever broken words i could get out, and they let him leave. they didnt test the water bottle for anything or look around my house or ask me if i was okay. they didnt ask what he did to me or even ask if he did anything, they just let him leave and took me to the hospital. they didnt even question the fact that he was buying a minor alcohol, they just let him fucking leave. 

when i was at the hospital, they tested me for my alcohol levels, which they said were normal. so there was physical evidence that i was not, in fact, drunk, like he said. when i started to come to after waiting at the hospital for hours, i told the doctors where the drugs were. i told them to test the water bottle, i begged and pleaded for them to get in touch with police and tell them that i didnt have any alcohol in my system, that it was drugs that he had given me. there was fucking proof, but they didnt do anything.

they asked me if i wanted to call my mom, and i almost did, but then i remembered that it was her birthday. so, i spent those three hours alone in the room thinking about all the reasons i was a fuck up and how this was all my fault. no one seemed to believe me, so maybe i did make it all up and i was actually drunk. but no, there wasnt any alcohol in my system. i only had two shots. after a while, the doctors told me i could go home. i was confused because i didnt have a way to get home, so they told me get an uber or something. they didnt really care at this point. i called an uber, and went outside to meet the car. once my feet hit the ground outside i realized that i didnt have any shoes on. i dont know why but i thought it was strange. i kinda hyper-focused on that as i waited for the uber. everything around me was so loud. all of a sudden, a young-ish nurse came outside and stood next to me. he said he would wait with me. i saw him pass my room a couple times while i cried silently for those few hours i was in the hospital. he stood outside with me and walked me to my uber, asked the uber driver for his name and number, and told me i would be okay. i remember what he looked like and ill genuinely never forget him. he made me feel safe just by doing that little thing, i knew i could trust him when i didnt even trust myself in that moment. 

the car ride home felt like it took forever. i was scared of the uber driver and the road and the fact that it was dark outside and most of all of what my mom would think and say when i finally told her what happened. i got home and walked up to my house to see that the main lights were on. my dog was waiting for me on the stairs and ran up to me as i walked inside. he kept licking me and didnt leave my side, but after a while of my dog being attentive and moving around, i realized how quiet it was inside my house. his car wasnt outside anymore, so i knew he had left, but this sudden wave of inexplicable fear washed over me. i started very anxiously searching every room, looking behind doors and in cabinets for some stupid fucking reason. i looked under every bed and turned on every light in my house. i dont know why but i thought he would still be there, waiting for me. i was looking for any trace of him still being in the house and waiting to do it to me all over again. i went upstairs and looked in my brothers closet only to find the vodka that my “friend” had brought for us to drink hidden in a corner. in the room next to mine was the bag with the receipt for the vodka that he bought. in the room where it all happened was the pizza we had gotten to eat and the cushions that he put under my head when i kept flopping over and drooling. that room was like a war zone to me. i couldnt look at it or be in it, i couldnt for almost a year. there were remnants of what happened all over my house and i felt like i couldnt escape it. it happened in the place where i was supposed to feel the most safe, and now i felt trapped in it.

i went into my room and got into bed with my dog. it was 4am, i couldnt sleep, and i didnt know what to do. every noise made me jump. every noise outside made me peek through the blinds to make sure that it wasnt his car pulling back up to my house. i found myself more awake than exhausted, as i should have been. im sure he slept fine that night. im sure he was okay and that he went home knowing that i was in the hospital and my mind was going 1000 miles an hour trying to remember every little detail of what happened so i could convince the cops that he had drugged me. because evidence wasnt enough. words werent enough for them to even try to dig into the fact that maybe i was possibly telling the truth. the cops didnt care, the doctors didnt care. they let him go. 

i dont know why i decided to write about this now, because for the most part, im “over it.” i do still think about what happened occasionally. it keeps me up at night sometimes, but not as much as in the first year after it happened. what i think about the most is the fact that no one believed me. i wasnt drugged and sexually assaulted and then reported it a few days later. the cops came and picked me up in the house where it all happened. they stood next to the person that did it. they looked him in the eye and they looked at the water bottle with drugs in it and at me barely conscious and unable to speak. they let him go. so unfortunately it doesnt surprise me when no one fucking cares if someone remembers and speaks out about their trauma years later because thats the moment they feel comfortable enough to finally talk about it. if cops didnt care in the very moment it was happening to me, it doesnt surprise me that they dont care at all. ever. 

he never tried to text or reach out to me again. why would he? i blocked him the next day anyway and i havent heard anything since. ive been silently dealing with it by myself for years. i went to a therapist about it. she told me that it was my fault for inviting him over in the first place. thats what my parents told me too. 

and the thing is, im not even the “worst” of it at all. this happens all the fucking time. theres very substantial evidence and cops and doctors will stare at it and think about how much work itll be going through the motions to do their fucking jobs and protect the people being assaulted. its too much work for them, but not for the person having trouble falling asleep every night for years because all they can think about is the moment they were unable to protect themselves and were taken advantage of. i always compare what happened to me to what happened to other people. i think less of it because so much worse has happened to other people. i wasnt raped, people are every day but i wasnt. it could have been worse, and ive always pushed the whole thing out of my mind because of that, but i dont think i should. i dont think it wasnt a big deal, and i dont think it will ever be not a big deal. i think that this shit happened to me and happens to people every day and no one fucking cares because its too much work for them to care. this isnt a metoo post, i just needed to put it into writing somewhere because im tired of keeping it inside. i dont want pity, i never have, i think a lot of people think that when something like this happens and someone speaks out about it that thats what they want. i just wanna say it. sometimes its just fucking good to say it. so for the people who do think that i want pity or that dont believe me or that support cops or that dont think this was a big deal: fuck you and have a horrible day.

thats it sorry

[disappointmentprofile]

Why don't you and your recent ex try to just be friends or on decent term....... your soul glows when you try to work things out and I want 2 see you be some1 good. Talkin' abt your recent cuz you both good but just too young

Honestly it's just such a huge misconception people had about our relationship bc all the good things were out there. But bc I dont speak up on a lotta things nobody really knows about the amount of disrespect and humiliation that that one person put me thru

I mean imagine dating someone that's telling people out there that you're this horrible human being and all the while you're sleeping next to him thinking everythings perfect. No, nobody does that. Maybe its the fact we were "young". Even in my most heated moments and all the let downs I went through I did NOT say a single bad thing about him to anyone.

Nobody knows the amount of nights I stayed up crying in his face, nobody knows about the threats I received, as if I was the one to leave him? Nobody knows about how he insults me in front of others, nobody knows how horrible my anxiety was in a way he does and yet he did everything to make it worse. Nobody knows the amounts of things I excused but couldn't get the same in the return.

All of this hurts not bc he did this to me but bc I wouldn't have ever in my ENTIRE life take this disrespect from anyone but yet I let him. That's what I've not gotten over to this very day. I'm not saying I was a saint I made mistakes too but the only difference was that I learned.

And we tried a whole year after our relationship to be good friends and keep everything aside. It didn't work it was the same hellhole the same trash talking and just overall complete negative environment from which I've developed the worst anger issues. It was still me letting him control me ..always going through my phone with or without my knowledge, always telling me how horrible all the guys I talk to are and whereas I wasn't even allowed to know his phones passcode. I found out certain things tho but I couldn't tell anyone and had to keep it to myself and that was just me being in denial.

We tried a lot to be friends but all he did was continuously apologise and go ahead and the do exact same things he promised he wouldn't and he lies constantly ...its like he looks at me thinks wow shes so stupid I can keep going on this way. He intentionally does everything to hurt me and his excuse being "anger". We had the same fights over and over and OVER to point it got mentally and physically EXHAUSTING. And to this very day I can guarantee u he definitely speaks a whole lotta crap about me.

Our relationship ended horribly and so did our friendship all for the same reasons tho. It didn't matter. Cause change cannot be all on one person. I'm not saying all these are the only reasons there's a lot that contributed to this too my college life put me in a horrible place and his insecurities took over him.

I'm only ranting SO MUCH bc I'm honestly fucking tired of hearing this, yes he was a HUGE part of my life and IVE PRAYED COUNTLESS TIMES THAT THINGS WERE BETTER BETWEEN US...but it isn't and I dont know if itll ever be. I've lost all my trust bc for the past three years it was lies, lies and MORE lies. And tumblr is just this completely emotional and personal place (safe place)for me that I feel okay w saying this and bc I cannot feel this okay-ness of saying all this anywhere else.

Theres wayyyy more to this than anybody can ever imagine and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. Theres my story and also his. This wont be his truth but it is mine.

One day I hope I'll be able to put all of this behind. I want too but the damage is far more than done.

(Also I hate that I said sm, sorry bye 😂)

[fearsbellsarchived]

[me? Thinking about a gf fairytales au instead of being productive? More likely than u think!!! think ou.at buT BETTER and w/o the real world dimension hopping part. under the cut bc i just copy/pasted my tags from forever ago to put them in one place

mabel and dipper are hansel and gretal

paz is sleeping beauty 

bill is maleficient 

if we’re gonna get disney about it wendy as merida 

i LOVE the idea of tambry as rapunzel??? 

mabel can also be like...eric from the little mermaid 

so mermando can be ariel 

gIDEON AS URSULA/VANESSA IN THAT VEIN THO 

bill is also rumplestilskin 

stan can be the huntsman (idk from which story cause theres a fEW BUT)

ford is the sorcerer from fanstasia 

ford is teaching dipper magic....and instead of a true love’s kiss that’s how he wakes paz (maybe?)

the northwests made a deal w bill like in the most famous version of rumplestilskin but instead of wanting paz for himself he just wanted to steal her body at 16

so when they lose the deal they ask for help from ford and ford’s like “yo i can maybe change the deal??? a little bit???” so instead of bill taking her over when he goes to she falls asleep ​

so dipper wasnt supposed to wake her up but he found her and fords notes and he and mabel went on an adventure

bill is all the villains 

billains 

so stan has to leave mabel and dipper in the woods (idk y it wasnt for long the twins are just impatient) so stan disappears and the twins are like “lETS EXPLORE THE WOODS”

they come across some creepy old house w a lot of spiderwebs (can u guess the villain yet?)

an older woman comes out and is like “why are you guys lost in the forest?”

mabel points to the glitter trail “we’re not lost”

dipper looks behind them ‘mabel!!! where’s all the glitter?!”

(ACTUALLY MAYBE ITS YARN???) 

so they lose the trail 

meanwhile stan is losing his fucking mind

he follows the stray glitter but it’s blown all over

he feels “LOST IN THE WOOOOODDDS!!!”

so the old lady offers for them to stay the night bc its getting late

dipper is SUPER sus but he plays it cool surprisingly

mabel is So In!

long short...stan eventually saves them from darlene’s trap

usually shes just a maneater but look

when u live in the woods u do what u can

so stan hauls them back to their cottage

dipper knew there was weird shit out there but he wants MORE

he starts going through his great-uncle’s journals (*cue the dipper squee*)

he reads about bill and his deal w paz’s parents

he’s like....’maybe we should rescue her?’

ford wont tell him why they cant

so dipper and mabel sneak out

they steal the grunkles’ boat

mabel falls over board???

dipper tries like HELL to save her

but then he sees mermando save her

SO MABEL IS SAVED BY MERMANDO!!! 

gideon (who had long-loved mabel from afar) finds out

he visits the merman to trick him

all mabel remembers is his voice

so YES mermando trades his voice for legs just like the movie

sue me okay w his distinct accent it makes sense!!!

so the twins get sidetracked bc mermando shows up out of nowhere

they dock on a small island for a pit stop and thats when ‘kiss the girl’ happens

they dont kiss so they move on

they dock on another stretch of land the next day

AND GIDEON APPEARS

the twins have only heard about him from their grunkles so mabel hears his voice and goes *heart eyes*

mermando is Distressed

dipper is Focused on getting to this sleeping princess

mabel makes fun of him for liking her

SO GIDEON HAS MERMANDOS VOICE!

at one point dipper catches him w/o the amulet that makes him sound like mermando

and he tells mabel and its kinda like “the hand that rocks the mabel” or whatever the ep was called

it takes dipper and mermando being threatened (and gideons voice slipping) for her to catch on and she breaks up w him

dipper wants to throw him overboard

they just leave him on the next inhabited island they find

mermando got his kiss but decides to go back to the ocean anyway

he promises to write

mabel is Sad

SO BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED ADVENTURE!

the twins come across a land near the one paz is on and decide to stop for food and to stretch their legs and other hygiene things

they find out there’s some archery thing going on and mabel is like ’ooooh can we try?!’

turns out its for neighboring kingdoms’ princes to win a princess

mabel and dipper think this is RIDICULOUS so they crash it

mabel steps up to shoot and everyone’s like ‘wHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?’

then dipper steps up beside her. neither of them have shot a bow before

they shoot at the same time. mabel’s like thisclose to the bullseye. dippers too far right

THEN!!! PRINCESS WENDY COMES OUT OF NOWHERE

DIPPER AND MABEL ARE IN AWE OF THIS VALKYRIE. THEYRE BOTH READY FOR HER TO KILL THEM BC THEY THINK ITLL BE AWESOME

but wendy is like ‘ACTUALLY ILL SHOOT FOR MYSELF THANKS’ and splits like three arrows down the middle w her accuracy

she looks at mabel and dipper and is like ‘u dudes look fun! ive never seen u before who are u???’

and they’re like ‘WELL!’ and launch into detail about their adventure w overlapping voices and sound affects and VAST description

anyways. i cant decide how old people are rn okay 

so wendy is like “hey dad??? im going on an adventure w these guys!” and her dad is like “unusual but u DID just win ur own hand. so ill allow it”

“YES! can i take soos too?!” 

“sure!”

sO THEYRE OFF AGAIN!!! lemme tell u the ship is filling faST!!!

they get to paz’s land. and the first thing they find is a girl in a tower with long purple hair.

everyone is pretty much just making ‘wtf’ faces for like....ten minutes.

finally wendy calls up the tower like “YO! WHATS W ALL THE HAIR?!”

tambry leans out the window w a bored expression and goes “its mine. im tambry. who r u?”

they introduce themselves and are like “u wanna come on our adventure?”

then....ROBBIE APPEARS!

and he knows where the princess is!!!

”oh yeah. her. shes also in a tower. its got a door but its guarded by gnomes.”

then robbie climbs tambrys hair pecks her cheek and ducks in the tower

they decide to head for the tower robbie directed them to. but they have to pass the castle. Northwest Castle

robbie warned them about the northwests. said that the princess was one and before she disappeared she was the snottiest brat hed ever met

so they became friends despite the fact that he plays music for a living (and not very well either)

her parents told her of the spell when she was twelve

so robbie’s like “they are not nice people and neither was she??? most of the townsfolk are glad shes asleep tbh”

but dammit! dipper came here for an adventure!!! he wasnt going to stop just bc the princess wasnt what he expected!

so they continue on!

mabel is like “maybe she doesnt KNOW how to be nice!”

and soos is just excited to be there!

and wendy is just...u kno...chill

they start to get close to the castle and they feel like they’re being watched

and then soos notices the PEACOCKS!

they assume theyre spies for the king and queen. which is half true?

they can also warn bill if someone is near pacifica

oh damn imagine that

being stuck asleep w a DREAM DEMON in ur head

sorry for the accidental psychological torture paz

WHICH IS THE ONLY TORTURE SHES HAD!

i think to make up for risking her life as a baby ther parents were like “we’re just gonna spoil u rotten and PRETEND u do no wrong eVERYTHING IS FINE”

so dipper is reading the journal and he FINALLY gets to the true loves kiss part of the deal

and he looks around at the party like “oh shit true love what do we do???”

mabel suggests he at least try and everyone agrees that yeah okay thats the back up plan

but dipper wants to use a SPELL!!!

so the king and queen see him w the journal and remember ford having the same one

so everyone is brought to the king and queen

theyre like “pRINCESS GWENDOLYN?!”

bc this is MY STORY and if i wanna give wendy a more princess-y name thEN I WILL

i say as i continue to refer to mason as DIPPER!!!

SO THEYRE MEETING THE NORTHWESTS!!!

wendys like “yes that is me the princess” and then everyone else introduces themselves...w dipper introducing himself as mason bc it just sounds more fairytale-y

soos is jesus (hey zeus! not jee sus)

soos is like....wendys bff/personal servant but mostly bff

so they explain their adventure to the northwests as quickly as possible

preston is no patient man and he’s is like “tbh its probably important she be here for her 18th bday soooo??? as long as she wakes up by next year why not???”

but only bc dipper was like “i wANNA USE MAGIC I DONT WANNA KISS HER THATS PLAN B!!!”

plus u kno...even if he DOES whats the guarantee itll work???

the guarantee is me being a filthy shipper tHATS WHAT!!!

so they continue to the tower!

there is probably a sidequest thingy with giffany bc i liked that episode

also soos needs more screentime im sorry

SO THEN!!! FINALLY!!!! THEY MAKE IT TO THE TOWER!!!

WHICH IS!!!

IN FACT!!!

GUARDED

BY

GNOMES!]

also theres a manotaur/multi-bear sidequest i just thought of bc i like THAT episode!!!

is this gf, a fairytale, sk.yrim, or a d.n.d campaign now??? WHO KNOWS!!! ITS NOT ME!!!

SO THEY GOTTA GET PAST THE GNOMES!

first they offer safe passage in exchange for mabel as their queen

after thats declined theyre like “or the redhead. well take her!”

this is also declined

finally jeff tells them to attack

at first the party tries to fight them off and they do okay

uNTIL SOME GNOME WEAPONIZED SCHMEBULOCKS RAINBOW PUKE!!! (i think it’s toxic tbh but i dONT REMEMBER)

finally mabel just pulls out her trusty crosSbow (aka “GRAPPLING HOOK!”) and they just make a tightrope to the window above the door

wendy goes first and NAILS it

then everyone else follows

soos almost falls and gets left to the gnomes but everyone helps him balance and they all make it through the window

coincidentally. the window leads to the princess’s room

OH MAN WHY DIDNT I USE THE PTERODACTYL?!

oh well. anyways.

everyone is looking around the room and like...taking it all in

dipper takes a moment...then walks over to the princess

he isnt sure if waking her will also wake the demon

crossover even more w my old paciphera au??? idk probably not

so dipper tries the spells he narrowed it down to

none of them work

all his friends have returned to the princess’s room and mabel is like “u gotta kiss her brobro!”

so dipper...poor poor dipper...just leans forward and kisses her

paz pretty much snaps her eyes open when dipper is a half inch from her face while he’s pulling back 

and even tho she was forewarned she wasnt expecting DIPPER so she SCREAMS

dippers ears are ringing

she shuts her eyes and stills her breathing and sits up.

AND SEES EVERYONE ELSE AND SCREAMS AGAIN

“i dIDNT EXPECT U TO BRING *FRIENDS*!”

so once shes a little more calm they explain the whole adventure to her

paz feels a little honored they came all this way just for her

also since True Love beats everything bill is like.....back in his home dimension. also paz has been fighting him for like....over a year.

so paz is like....ready to Go. u kno. just wants to go HOME.

they get pazs shit together and exit the tower through the door

she says goodbye to the gnomes. all by name.

“oh yeah mom and dad made them my personal guard when i was like...eight. theyve been prepping for this my whole life. they’ll meet me back at the castle.” so then she starts telling them about herself and her last like 

two years of being asleep w a DREAM DEMON

“sometimes i got the weirdest nightmares??? and they never ended. but when i woke up i couldnt remember anything specific.”

she and dipper talk away from the group. he tells her about how hes her true love and everything “okay well. we’ll have to lie to my parents and say it was a spell. bc they will NOT approve of us being true loves and if they hurt you...”

“then they hurt *you* too!” dipper finishes (idk maybe a combo w a soulmate au thing?)

meanwhile mabel is like...whining about boy problems??? and wendy is like “this is y boys r dumb.”

soos is like...wandering off. I WANNA INCORPORATE MELODY BUT WHO SHOULD SHE BE?!

paz and dipper start like....arguing about how to deal w her parents

apparently they actually ARENT that nice. if she doesnt marry a prince they’ll give her over to bill completely...or something idk

SO theyre nearing the castle!!!

theyve written theyre grunkles okay no worries. also mermando.

thats y mabels complaing about boys.

mermando and that manatee wife of his!!!

paz is not exactly ready to face her parents so she convinces the party (roll for charisma) to go the long way

which is actually just circles

anyways

we run back in to melody and soos and the party is like ‘wHOOPS WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE GLAD U DIDNT GET EATEN BY A SPIDER LADY!

maybe melody is like....a fairy???

something light and ‘childish’ bc thatd fit her personality

soos is like “ive BEEN here. u dudes have been going in circles.” and everyone glares at paz.

“im sorry!!! i just dont want to go back!!!”

“ur dad made us promise to have u back for ur 18th bday.” says dipper while he tries to stay mad at his future wife

paz is like “YEAH SO HE CAN MARRY ME OFF TO A PRINCE!!!”

idk why paz and dips are being better at being soulmates here okay i was like....sleep-drunk when i first wrote this

so the party has a choice to make.

take paz back home where she wont be able to be w her TL (which in some cases has probably led to death) OR!!!

sneak her out and take her home w them?!

wendys probably gotta go back to her own kingdom tho.

and soos wants to stay w melody

U KNOW WHAT I JUST REALIZED?!

sTAN NEVER GOT TO BE SOOS’S DAD!!!!

SORRY SOOS!!!

so anyways

mabel and dipper decide to help her sneak out

luckily she knows all the blindspots

it takes longer but they finally make it back to their ship

they say theyre goodbyes to soos and melody and paz wishes them well in her kingdom. she promises to return when shes ready to rule

they load the ship and sail to wendys kingdom next

they stay a few days to recuperate

paz has trouble sleeping bc when she does the nightmares come back.

cue a kat.niss/pee.ta thing where paz sleeps next to dips bc it keeps the nightmares away

wendy has to explain why soos isnt w them to her dad who kinda shrugs it off?

“u proved u can protect urself.” or something.

after like.....a whole fucking year the twins are heading home.

paz and dipper sleep together on the ship too bc its just fucking easier

paz is nervous to meet the grunks

she and dipper arent exactly....dating??? its def more like soulmate au

where theyre AWARE theyre supposed to be together but they dont even rly know if they WANT to be together.

paz is p much “i dont rly wanna be w anyone else. ill let u kno if that changes.” and dips is like “tbh same.”

mabel is already planning a big royal wedding.

iDK Y BUT I WANT THEM TO FIND OUT THEYVE BEEN ROYALTY ALL THIS TIME??? probably just bc i LOVE that trope!!! but theyre not so its whateves.

so they FINALLY get home. mabel has been writing letters this whole time. to mermanso. to soos and melody. to wendy.

shes the captain of the dip.ifica ship and shes gotta keep her crewmembers in the know!!!

the twins also wrote to the grunks the whole time so!!!! no worries!!!

paz tries writing to her parents...but she can never find the right words.

meeting the grunks isnt as bad as she thought???

stan loves her off the bat. partially bc shes rich and bc she doesnt take shit

ford is pleased to meet the girl he saved and shes v v thankful to him for saving her life as best he could.

it takes her like a YEAR to write the letter.

she promises her parents she’ll return. AFTER shes married.

at this point she and dipper ARE together. they figured all theyre confusion out and are just living the good life!

mabel and wendy are doing the long distance thing. shes still friends w mermando.

robbie and tambry found paz and they write back and forth.

u CAN TAKE ROBBIE AND PAZ SIBLINGS FROM MY DECOMPOSING HANDS!!!

everything is as happily ever after as it can get.

and then dipper proposes despite knowing what it means.

BUT THATS A WHOLE OTHER ADVENTURE!!!!

*end credits roll. an epic theme song starts playing*

[greymuse]

Witchy QnA

1. Are you solitary or in a coven?

Solitary!

2. Do you consider yourself Wiccan, Pagan, witch, or other?

Witch, or Enchantress if I wanna sound fancy

3. What is your zodiac sign?

Leo sun, Aquarius moon, Leo rising

4. Do you have a Patron God/dess?

Nope

5. Do you work with a Pantheon?

Nope

6. Do you use tarot, palmistry, or any other kind of divination?

Tarot sometimes

7. What are some of your favorite herbs to use in your practice? (if any)

Im just starting to get into more physical items. I was raised to do most things mentally.

8. How would you define your craft?

Im not sure? Green but a lil eclectic

9. Do you curse? If not, do you accept others who do?

I dont think of it as cursing. More so protection from certain people.

10. How long have you been practicing?

I found out about what I was already doing as being Witchcraft a couple months ago. But Ive been using Tarot, using kitchen Witch spells, as “prayers” as spells since I can remember

11. Do you currently or have you ever had any familiars?

Nope. I hope to have one soon though

12. Do you believe in Karma or
Reincarnation?

Absolutely believe in karma. Reincarnation, possibly. Its definitely something I think about

13. Do you have a magical name?

Nope.

14. Are you “out of the broom closet”?

My whole moms side practices casually, so I mean I guess? But I havent referred to  myself as a Witch or something like that.

15. What was the last spell you performed?

I enchanted a ring I got. Also, a money spell that worked but uhh its definitely showing me that I need to work harder.

16. Would you consider yourself knowledgeable?

Im pretty decent. Most of what I look up is common knowledge to me

17. Do you write your own spells?

I havent yet, but I also dont do many spells verbally. I more so visually manifest

18. Do you have a book of shadows? If so, how is it written and/or set up?

I do, Its just a plain lil notebook, I have just some basic reference sheet type things in it.

19. Do you worship nature?

Absolutely

20. What is your favorite gemstone?

rose quartz. or tigers eye

21. Do you use feathers, claws, fur, pelt, skeletons/bones, or any other animal body part for magical work?

I dont particularly enjoy using animal/ human materials. I use natural things, like dirt and water.

  22. Do you have an altar?

Not so much a physical Altar, but my bed is definitely my safe space and I can clear my mind here the easiest.

23. What is your preferred element?

Water, but fire always make me wide eyed and curious. definitely curious. but its destructive potential scares me.

24. Do you consider yourself an Alchemist?

Not art all haha

25. Are you any other type of magical practitioner besides a witch?

Im not sure!

26. What got you interested in witchcraft?

realizing that I had been practicing for my whole life and I hadnt known before

27. Have you ever performed a spell or ritual with the company of anyone who was not a witch?

yeah, with my mom and her mom. I just didnt know at the time. We do protection spells often.

28. Have you ever used ouija?

yup! with my mom and her mom. Its just a family thing we do every time we all get together. I grew up thinking it was completely normal.

29. Do you consider yourself a psychic?

My mom says I used to be. I used to dream about natural disasters before they happened as a kid. I dont think im too good anymore. just empathetic.

30. Do you have a spirit guide? If so, what is it?

I dont think I do. If anything, I do feel a feminine energy? dark (like a shadow, not negative) and watery is the best way I can describe it. But its not a human  entity. Just energy.

31. What is something you wish someone had told you when you first started?

That not everyone believes what you do. And its totally okay! Just maybe dont loudly announce your Ouija board antics with your science teacher in middle school.

32. Do you celebrate the Sabbats? If so which one is your favorite?

I havent before, but im going to try to this year

33. Would you ever teach witchcraft to your children?

Absolutely. I want my son to grow up the same way I did around magick. Itll be normal for him.

34. Do you meditate?

Sometimes! its definitely something im trying to do more often.

35. What is your favorite season?

Fall and Spring! Theres so much change

36. What is your favorite type of magick to preform?

Im not sure yet! Ive only just started branching out and actually considering what ive been doing all my life as magick.

37. How do you incorporate your spirituality into your daily life?

Daily affirmations/ protection spells, I manifest me and my sons happiness and safety every day.

38. What is your favorite witchy movie?

I dont think Ive seen any haha

39. What is your favorite witchy book, both fiction and non-fiction. Why?

The Darkest Powers books by Kelly Armstrong. More supernatural (vampires, werewolves, stuff like that) but I loved it growing up.

40. What is the first spell you ever preformed? Successful or not.

Knowingly, a protection spell from someone who had hurt me

41. What’s the craziest witchcraft-related thing that’s happened to you?

Im not sure! I can see auras if i really focus and can tune into someone, so maybe when i saw a family member with a pure black aura? That was freaky

42. What is your favourite type of candle to use?

I dont use candles! Bonfires or fires in fireplaces usually, to burn a paper if needed. Again, I dont  trust myself with fire very much.

43. What is your favorite witchy tool?

My crystals and my tarot. They all have vibrations. Everything does but especially those, because im so connected to them

44. Do you or have you ever made your own witchy tools?

I want to!  Havent yet

45. Have you ever worked with any magical creatures such as the fea or spirits?

Spirits, yes. I can call on family that Ive known in person for protection. Been doing that as long as i can remember

46. Do you practice color magic?

I used to! i dont really anymore. 

47. Do you or have you ever had a witchy teacher or mentor of any kind?

My mom, aunt, and grandma! 

48. What is your preferred way of shopping for witchcraft supplies?

Dollar store, thrift store, antique stores (though im always hesitant to use something that belonged to someone else. If there isnt a close emotional attachment, there wont be any noticeable vibrations.

49. Do you believe in predestination or fate?

I think theres a general way that things can happen. More like a decide your fate book. There are multiple options, it just depends on what you choose.

50. What do you do to reconnect when you are feeling out of touch with your practice?

Meditate, or go to the lake.

51. Have you ever had any supernatural experiences?

ohhhh boy. I got stories.

52. What is your biggest witchy pet peeve?

People thinking theyre better bc they have a crap ton of materials, thinking im less than because I visualize easier than with material items.

53. Do you like incense? If so what’s your favorite scent?

I do, I just cant very often. I have a child and very smell sensitive people livingg with me

54. Do you keep a dream journal of any kind?

I rarely ever remember a dream, so no

55. What has been your biggest witchcraft disaster?

Im not sure ive had one yet

56. What has been your biggest witchcraft success?

I havent seen who i dont want to see since protecting myself

57. What in your practice do you do that you may feel silly or embarrassed about?

 Everything, haha. I think thats why I enjoy visualizing instead of rituals or verbal stuff.

58. Do you believe that you can be an atheist, Christian, Muslim or some other faith and still be a witch too?

Absolutely!

59. Do you ever feel insecure, unsure or even scared of spell work?

yes, I feel like it //can be// kinda like a genie in a bottle type thing. Itll work, but not without a price.

60. Do you ever hold yourself to a standard in your witchcraft that you feel you may never obtain?

Nope

61. What is something witch related that you want right now?

A cauldron to mix and burn things in haha

62. What is your rune of choice?

I dont know yet! Runes are something Im looking into

63. What is your tarot card of choice?

My birth card, the Tower.

64. Do you use essential oils? If so what is your favorite?

I love lemon and eucalyptus 

65. Have you ever taken any kind of witchcraft or pagan courses?

nope!

66. Do you wear pagan jewelry in public?

Nope

67. Have you ever been discriminated against because of your faith or being a witch?

No one that would feel that way knows anything about it

68. Do you read or subscribe to any pagan magazines?

nope

69. Do you think it’s important to know the history of paganism and witchcraft?

Yes. Its like knowing world history and us history, We need to learn from the past.

70. What are your favorite things about being a witch?

I feel powerful, and connected and accepted by nature.

71. What are your least favorite things about being a witch?

having to tiptoe around things around certain people

72. Do you listen to any pagan music? If so who is your favorite singer/band?

Nope! ill have to look into it

73. Do you celebrate the Esbbats? If so, how?

I havent fully figured out what i want to do for the moon cycles yet, but I definitely want to. the moon and water are so closely related

74. Do you ever work skyclad?

No, but i mean.. maybe one day?

75. Do you think witchcraft has improved your life? If so, how?

I feel like i have more control of how im able to use my emotions and feelings

76. Where do you draw inspiration from for your practice?

The energy i talked about before.. It gets more intense and stronger sometimes, and i know i need to put more time and effort into my practice

77. Do you believe in ‘fantasy’ creatures? (Unicorns, fairies, elves, gnomes, ghosts, etc)

no, but i do believe in energy. not ghosts per say but definitely energy

78. What’s your favorite sigil/symbol?

I try to make most of them myself. I have one for protection while driving that i use for me and my boyfriend a lot. And one for the safety of my son.

79. Do you use blood magick in your practice? Why or why not?

Not as of right now. I did bleed onto my tarot cards on accident though..

80. Could you ever be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t support your practice?

Theres a difference  between “doesnt understand and doesnt care to” and “fully doest support and refuses to let you practice safely”. I dont mind the first, but wouldnt stay with the second.

81. In what area or subject would you most like your craft to grow?

Reading auras, and tarot. Also just connecting with nature more

82. What’s your favorite candle scent? Do you use it in your practice?

I love fall scents! but no, i dont really use candles

83. Do you have a pre-ritual ritual? (I.e. Something you do before rituals to prepare yourself for them). If so what is it?

Meditate and protect

84. What real life witch most inspires your practice?

My mom honestly lmao. i dont think she views herself as a full witch though.And my aunt

85. What is your favorite method of communicating with deity?

I dont worship dieties. But i like to just be in natural and connect emotionally, nonverbally to this energy Im somehow connected with.

86. How do you like to organize all your witchy items and ingredients?

In this lil wooden box my mom gave me for my birthday to hold the tarot cards my grandma gave me haha.

87. Do you have any witches in your family that you know of?

my mom. aunt, and grandma. I know my grandpas grandma was a voodoo witch too.

  88. How have you created your path? What is unique about it?

I havent seen much about nonverbal, mostly mental witchcraft. So i guess  thats one unique thing.

89. Do you feel you have any natural gifts or affinities (premonitions, hearing spirits, etc.) that led you toward the craft? If so what are they?

A couple things. Feeling vibrations, the connection to nature, auras, growing up surrounded by it.

90. Do you believe you can initiate yourself or do you have to be initiated by another witch or coven?

I believe you can initiate yourself. I dont feel the need for someone elses validation is i know my connection with nature is real

91. When you first started out in your path what was the first thing or things you bought?

crystals, lmao

92. What is the most spiritual or magickal place you’ve been?

The southern oregon coast. honestly everywhere in oregon feels so alive and vibrating so heavily with energy. The water and the lush greenery is perfection.

93. What’s one piece of advice you’d give someone who is searching for their matron and patron deities?

I have no idea, I dont follow a deity

94. What techniques do you use to ‘get in the zone’ for meditation?

quiet, listen to music i like and that help calm me, slightly cool, a breeze is good. the sound of real water flowing from a lake or ocean. recordings of water dont help me. sometimes white noise if theres too much noise

95. Did visualization come easily to you or did you have to practice at it?

visualization is the easiest thing for me. ive always daydreamed so heavily that itll be like im dreaming with my eyes totally open and tracking. 

  96. Do you prefer day or night? Why?

early mornings, right as the sun is coming up.

97. What do you think is the best time and place to do spell work?

I like doing spell work before bed, when the moon is bright enough to light up what im doing

98. How did you feel when you cast your first circle? Did you stumble or did it go smoothly?

I dont know if it counts as casting a circle? but i visualize a swirling white ball of energy, starting out like a strawberry size in my hands, and every time i breath in, it gets bigger. Its a protection circle. i learned to do it at like?? 3 years old?

99. Do you believe witchcraft gets easier with time and practice?

Yup!

100. Do you believe in many gods or one God with many faces?

If i had to guess, id say multiple gods/ goddesses. one entity shouldnt have that much power imo.

101. Do you eat meat, eggs and dairy?

Ive been trying to go vegetarian, and i eat minimal eggs and dairy.

102. What is your favorite color and why?

dark, smokey colors. grey, black, dark muted purples, navy, smoky pink.

103. What is the one question you get asked most by non-practitioners or non-pagans? How do you usually respond?

I dont have many people im even slightly into that stuff, let alone a witch. So usually just “how do i cleanse my house? i think its haunted” type stuff

104. Which of your five senses would you say is your strongest?

Feel, haha, physically and emotionally.

105. What is a pagan or witchcraft rule that you preach but don’t practice?

Always properly cleanse new materials, haha

[littlemisssquiggles]

RWBY Musings #63: The Sleeping Prince. What if…Oscar falls into a deep sleep for the Merging of the Two Souls?

‘Sup FNDM fam! Happy New Year from the squiggle meister! For my first theory post of 2019, since Oscar is a perfect little prince now (hypothetically speaking), consider this for a sec. 

What if...for the Merge, Oscar suddenly falls unconscious, putting him out of commotion for when the heroes begin to commence their plan to commandeer an Atlesian airship with the group unsure of what to do to wake him back up.

As Jaune said last episode, they're not leaving for Atlas without Oscar. But what would they do if the Merge suddenly happens and he’s temporarily unable to aid them with their plan for Atlas?

In the fairy tales, it's usually a kiss of true love that awakes the sleeping princesses from their eternal slumber. If Oscar is expected to fall to sleep during the Merge (because I honestly can't picture him being conscious while unceremoniously merging), imagine if… it's love that ultimately wakes him up. Not necessarily from a kiss per say but I have this little hunch where Oscar will start to merge with Ozpin but it’s the love he feels both for and from the teammates he’s grown to care about that keeps him from resisting the part of the process that’s meant to make him disappear entirely; if that makes sense.

Remember the God of Light’s warning to Ozma before his first reincarnation? He told him that where he sought comfort, he will only find pain. In a sense, you can say the God of Light’s heed to Ozma happened twice within the cycle. For Ozma it occurred in his first reincarnation as Diggs after Salem, the former love of his life---the mother of his children---the woman he had refused the peace of the afterlife to return to, killed him with her very own hands as a final sign that she had lost herself to the darkness.

And for Ozpin, it was recently when his own allies turned their backs on him after promising they wouldn’t upon learning the truth. The first deceit came from Lionheart, a friend and member of Oz’s very own inner circle of trusted lieutenants. The second came from the group of young heroes whose lives he had promised to protect and guide. Even Qrow, a former student and long-time friend of Oz who completely devoted to him, turned his back to him and it is his words that made the old wizard turn to grief and isolation for the third time in his many lives (counting Ambroise and Emmanuel---the second and third reincarnations).

Who knows? Perhaps this will be a sign that Oscar is potentially doomed to meet the same fate being challenged by that same love and comfort in others that has left his predecessors crushed by grief? I’m not saying that the heroes will hurt Oscar (at least, not now after what transpired when they thought he went missing). But I can somehow imagine Oscar meeting a dishevelled and grief-stricken Ozpin again within his mental mind palace or Dreamscape and having the older soul mock his young successor for getting himself attached to the love and comfort he feels from the heroes. Imagine…that love and trust is what Oscar will hold onto as a lifeline to keep him from losing himself completely to the Merge?

While I’m aware that Oscar has come to accept his fate now, I can’t help but still feel like that’s all a front from Oscar. It could be just my interpretation, though. It’s just the way how he spoke in V6 C8 gave me the impression that Oscar had technically given up on wanting to resist the Merge while subtly foreshadowing that it could happen this same volume.

“…These past few days, I’ve been scared of the same things you were. I don’t know how much longer I’m going to be…me. But I did some thinking and I do know that I want to do everything I can to help with whatever time I have left…”

It wouldn’t surprise me if in a later episode; Oscar does begin the Merge with Ozpin and will reunite with him in his mind for it. Don’t want to anticipate too much but it is a strong possibility of it happening especially since they do have the model of Professor Ozpin. I doubt they just made that for the opening. I feel like Oscar is going to meet Ozpin face to face in his mind and when he does, I think the two souls will have a confrontation that could either be just them standing around and talking (like Raven and Yang in the V5 finale) or end in them literally squaring off against each other in an all-out showdown. We’ve already seen two Maidens duke it out.

Will we get to see the two souls fight next?

I would think we should since it’s something that’s been foreshadowed since the first volume. I love the idea of Oscar literally fighting the Merge. Fighting Ozpin and fighting against losing himself. The thing that has always been hinted about the Man with Two Souls is them fighting for control. So maybe this will be part of the Merge? Oscar fighting against Ozpin for the chance to remain as himself.

We know Oscar has accepted disappearing one day but...what if… it's the love he feels from the team that convinces him he needs to fight to be himself. What if...Ruby shares another Rosebuds bonding moment with Oscar where she basically tells him to fight to be him. And since these words come from the girl we know Oscar greatly admires, it’ll hold a lot of weight and meaning in Oscar’s eyes.  

I didn’t particularly like how Oscar told everyone that he was going to disappear soon and everyone was…I guess, so clouded by their relief of him being safe to feel the full weight of his words in that moment.

I just found the fact that there is Oscar basically talking to group like he’s going to technically sort of die soon (I mean it pretty much had that final farewell sort of tone to it, for sure) and everyone is all happy smiles. Like…what? Why are you smiling? Yes, this is a happy moment but what’s being said and foreshadowed isn’t so…again why didn’t we get the characters briefly looking unhappy when Oscar brought disappearing only to perk up when he showed them that even though it’s bad, he’s still determined to do his best like the best boy he is? I dunno. It was a little weird moment for me and one of my gripes with this episode.

I think eventually when things simmer down and once the Merge actually legit starts happening before the team’s very eyes where Oscar gets down because of the Merge, that’s when the others will start to see the light of the child’s words and begin to truly panic about losing him.

Another thing that needs to be addressed are the group’s feelings now about Ozpin. Following the events of C5-C9 and now that Oscar has become an official valued member of the group (as himself), how does the group feel about Oz? This is why I found the happy-go-lucky smiles when Oscar mentioned disappearing for good to be off putting. The group do realize that if Oscar disappears for good, technically that could spell the team being back with Ozpin…kind of…sort of…maybe-ish. I dunno. I just want to know how the group feel about Oz now? Did Oscar’s disappearance also help them to forgive Ozpin too?

I don’t think that is the case which is why I hope it gets addressed in the remaining 5 episodes.

Overall, I just want Oscar to fight to be himself you guys. This is just my opinion here but personally, Oscar has been way too accepting of his fate. I understand that merging with Ozpin is a destiny that Oscar can’t run from. I understand that fully but…I still feel like he should want to fight to be himself if he could help it y’know what I mean? I don’t know if that’s possible or if it’s impossible for Oscar to not fight against losing himself. But nevertheless, I just want Oscar to fight to be him and for someone to tell him to fight to be him. Because Oscar is pretty great.

Plus I think that’ll be the be all end all to both Oscar and Ozpin’s conjoined stories, right? Either Ozpin’s run will conclude this volume and Oscar will take his place on the cast moving forward as his successor, now complete with his memories, knowledge, skills and magical capabilities (hopefully) while still retaining his personality.

So picture …Oscar accepting his fate but also fighting it at the same time. He wants to be a Wizard of Light like the others before him. He still wants to do everything in his power to fight to protect humanity and stop Salem once and for all. But he will not lose himself. So ...rather than Ozpin absorbing Oscar and his mind becoming dominant, it's the opposite where Ozpin becomes a part of Oscar while the former farm boy still gets to be himself.

Basically what some fans have been saying since the beginning that Oz will disappear and become a part of Oscar with our Barn Prince still remaining as himself but gaining all the memories and skills of Ozpin and all the Wizards before him.

Or…Oscar and Ozpin will fuse and this new fusion will be a perfect blend of them both signifying a perfect alignment between the two soul where it doesn’t feel like one has eclipsed the other. It’s both but at the same time it’s not them. Someone entirely new who is as much Oscar as the original while still having some essence of Ozpin in there.

Whatever the outcome, I do think the Merge could be a plot point set for the final few episodes of V6. Emphasis on could. But if it does happen, only then will Oscar’s true fate be decided once and for all. Either that or it gets delayed and Oscar goes into the Atlas Arc now fighting against Ozpin to let the Merge fully take him over. Who knows?

That's just me. Don’t know if you guys would agree or disagree. But anyways, as always, these are just my thoughts and theories. I guess we’ll see what the Writers got cooking for us when C10 premieres this Saturday.

More Squiggles’ RWBY Content

~LittleMissSquiggles (2019)

[glowstickhaloboy]

part 2 of that au where lance is a night vision mermaid

hi im back

link to part 1

the next night, keith is waiting when lance sneaks up to the surface. who knows how long hes been sitting on that rock, but he looks massively bored as lance comes out of the water. then he all but lights up. “you came back.”

lance tilts his head to the side. “stop saying things that will ruin my reputation.”

“i didnt know if you would. i thought i might have been c-”

“did you tell anyone about this?” asks lance.

keith shakes his head, shuffles to the very edge of the rock. “no one. please tell me your name.”

“first,” says lance, “i need to know something. why are you out here? you said you were after knowledge, but for what purposes?”

“what do you mean?”

“what kind of knowledge?”

“anything,” keith breathes, leaning closer. the moonlight shines in his eyes and hair. hes so dry, yet he glows. “everything.”

“and what do you plan to do with it?”

again, that question stumps keith. he sits back on his feet. “i...”

so far, this is going well.

“i’ll tell you,” lance asserts, puffing himself up to his full impressiveness. “nothing. youre going to do nothing with this knowledge except keep it for yourself. any secret i trust you with is meant for you, not your animalistic human world. no publications, no research teams, no clamoring for more evidence to build an arsenal of strategy against my people. and, as always, i decide that if i no longer trust you, i get to drown you.”

keith’s throat bobs at that last statement, but it seems bravery has a furnished home inside his chest. he nods. “i wont betray you,” he says. “not even to my team, if you dont want.”

“no, not even your team. you’ll have to come up with excuses for them.”

keith nods again.

“and one more thing,” lance continues. “i dont think its fair that these secrets are free. youre cute, but youre not that cute. so, heres how itll work: you tell me something about you, and i’ll tell you something about me, and when you get tired or the sun starts to come up, i’ll go back under the surface and we’ll meet again when it gets dark. does midnight sound fair?”

keith begins to nod another time, but stops himself. “hold on,” he says. “will you tell me the truth? i have no way of knowing.”

“of course,” says lance. “mermaids cant lie.”

skeptical, keith narrows his eyes, the cogs visibly turning in his head.

lance snorts. “yeah, that wasnt true. but,” he says, drawing close enough that he could drop his voice to a murmur, “i have no reason to lie to you if i know you arent going to tell anyone else.”

keith accepts this. “can i ask questions if i want to know something specific?”

“yes.”

“okay,” says keith. “you said i go first, so what do you want to know about me?”

“what,” says lance, “is it like to walk on those ungodly tools you call legs???”

keith pulls his knee up to his chest. “this? it’s like... well, its different from swimming. ive been swimming before but, uh,, still had to use these to do it, so i dont really know how to describe it. its like... walking?”

“you,” lance says flatly, “are not the most intellectually evolved of your species, are you?”

“i hunt mermaids for a living because i cant get a real job.”

“can i feel it?”

“what?”

“can i feel your leg?”

if this is a weird request, it cannot possibly be weirder than the event of meeting a mermaid, so keith is unfazed by it. “yeah, sure.”

he sticks his leg out over the water. lance is, at first, a little intimidated by the straightness and inflexibility of it, but eventually he decides that it is basically like a bigger, stronger arm and that humans are very weird. satisfied, he and keith both withdraw.

“okay,” says keith, with the air of somebody about to do something very important after an absurdly long amount of waiting. “what is your name?”

lance smiles. “lance.”

it’s like lance has applied salve to a wound. keith closes his eyes and breathes out through his nose. his shoulders relax. “youre real,” he says, like he just found this out.

“gee, you sure know how to flatter a fish.”

but it starts the conversation. keith tells lance about the practice of cryptozoology and lance tells keith about ocean-bottom culture. keith talks about growing up and going to school, and lance talks about being raised by a family bigger than keith could imagine and learning to provide for each other. keith explains war and lance explains peace.

from there, they go on to ask more personal questions. who is hunk and why would he be upset if he knew you were here? what made you so fascinated with mermaids that you decided to vacation on a rock? keiths eyelids start to droop. lance is getting a little fatigued himself. this conversation is putting even his��talking skills to the test, and keiths throat has gone scratchy. its nice. theyre both relaxed. lance becomes aware of how completely comfortable he is.

“its late,” lance says at last. “you dont want your friends to wake and catch you out of your reef. er, bed?”

keith has this look in his eye like hes worried to let lance go in case he doesnt come back.

lance yawns and says, “midnight.”

then he dives under the water.

its strange to think about, but being fully submerged again feels weird after having his head sticking out into the air for four hours. the water is warm on his face. he cant wait to get back to his reef and crash.

except hunk is waiting for him there.

“dude,” he says. “where’ve you been?”

lance’s heart does backflips. WHAT DOES HE SAY?

“hunk,” he says. “you’re here!”

“yeah,” says hunk.

lance tries again for better wording. “what are you doing here?”

“looking for you?? at your house????”

and lance is like, well im fucked.

“i was out,” he hedges. “with, uh, someone.”

“lance, if that were true, you would be over the moon right now and i would have known about it for days because you would never have shut up about it!”

“thats not true! and besides, i wasnt with him like that. well, maybe i was, i dont know... im kind of confused about it.”

“really? you wanna talk about it?”

no.

he doesnt have to fake a yawn. “actually, buddy, i would, but i am super beat. i’ll tell you all about him when i know whats going on. oh, was there something you wanted?”

“just checking in on you. you havent tried sneaking back up to the surface have you?”

“why would you ask me that?”

“because your brain is the ocean’s strongest magnet for horrible ideas.”

“well thanks,” says lance, a little colder than he otherwise would have been. “and i’ll have you know that i have not been to the surface. it’s totally overrated. who’d want to be walking up there on a pair of lame, clunky legs? goodnight, buddy.”

hunk leaves lance to his rest.

and the next night, keith looks different. hes in shorts, the lunatic, with no shirt on and a towel draped around his shoulders.

“what are you doing?” asks lance.

keith merely grunts and slides into the water. he takes a few shuddering breaths and paddles closer to lance.

“i wanted to,” says keith. he holds out an arm. under the waves, lance can feel his clumsy feet kicking and kicking and kicking.

“you know how far down the sea floor is, dont you?” asks lance.

keith says, “im not stupid. i’ll get back on the rock if my legs get tired.”

Legs, Lance thinks with contempt.

“well,” he says, “if youre getting that close, i want to be able to touch you.”

“why do you think i did this?”

and its a great idea until it isnt. it starts off with lance feeling like someone is taking a big risk to be close to him, and his heart tries for a complicated swelling motion before lance manually tamps it down again. he looks at keith’s face and instead of seeing a face which happens to be clearly human, he sees all the fragile features that make it human, and an overwhelming need to protect their delicacy suddenly rises in him.

what simultaneously rises is a wave so strong that it folds over keith and drags him under the water. 

lance’s instincts take control. like lightning, he dives under the water, snatches keith’s arm, and drags him back up to his rock, where he sets him and retreats. keith coughs up water, shaking, and reaches for his towel.

“are you alright?” asks lance.

“you saved me,” says keith, like he cant believe it.

“well, yeah.”

unexpectedly, keith grins at him. “i thought i was just a boring human,” he says. “thought you didnt care if i drowned.”

lance feels an alien heat rise in his cheeks. is the above-surface air getting to him?

“i said i would be the one to drown you,” he argues. “i think thats enough for tonight. i’ll see you tomorrow.”

keiths mouth falls open in protest, but before he can say anything else, lance disappears. he doesnt stop swimming until hes back down at his reef, and even then he feels like the whole ocean can hear his heart hammering. he had saved keith. why had he done that? because he wasnt a bad person, obviously. he wasnt going to just stand by and watch an innocent man die.

but there was something deeper. something that he could not explain and therefore elected to ignore.

[winter-and-little-brunettes]

85 Questions Tag

I was tagged by @vldrocketeer! Thanks, sweetie, sorry Im getting to doing this so late!!!

— What was your last…

1. Drink: Coca-Cola! And, Im about to go grab another can...

2. Phone call: My mom! I sent her some cute bird videos, and called her to hear her reactions to them.

3. Text message: A good friend I made in first year! His name is Colin, and he lived across the hall from me in residence first year. We’re both the same major (English Lit), and we both have similar interests in video games, so we got along great. I won’t post what I said, since we’re catching up and it was a long ass text message, but it was basically me explaining why I haven’t seen him around lately (since I’m usually holed up at work when I’m on campus)

4. Song you listened to: “Turning Page” by Sleeping At Last. It’s a favourite of mine!

5. Time you cried: Oh jeez... Uh, last month? March has been pretty stressful, and April will make me want to rip my hair out...

6. Dated someone twice: I almost did! But no, never actually dated the same guy twice.

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Its hard enough to get me to kiss someone, let alone do it and regret it.

8. Been cheated on: I have. He was my first and only heartbreak (so far)

9. Lost someone special: Hmm... I think my best answer here is “yes”.

10. Been depressed: I mean, Im usually a pretty happy person, but everyone has their ups and downs. I cant say Ive been clinically depressed, but I have had a very dark part in my life, and I feel like another one is coming.

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: HAHAHA uh... no... I mean, that totally wasn’t me...

— Fave colours

12. purple!!

13. blue, like, a royal blue, yknow?

14. pink

— in the last year have you…

15. Made new friends: I have, fortunately!!

16. Fallen out of love: “I need to be in love for that to happen” god Erin, same

17. Laughed until you cried: Those are some of the best moments. I’m a loud laugher, and it happens like, once a week probably.

18. Found out someone was talking about you: I don’t do anything special enough to be talked about

19. Met someone who changed you: I feel like every person I’ve ever met has influenced me in some way or the other, so yes.

20. Found out who your friends are: Oh man, I certainly have. Fortunately, I have that cliche best friend story where I’ve literally known her since SK, went to the same elementary school, high school, and university together... And she lived around the corner from me when I still lived in my hometown.

21. Kissed someone on your facebook friends list: Well, considering my one ex is my friend there, I have to say yes.

— General

22. How many of your facebook friends do you know irl: Every single one. Although I’m never on facebook so don’t ever add me; itll take a month to hear back from me.

23. Do you have any pets: I have two cats! Well, one lives with me, and the other is at my parent’s place. But Perriwinkle is with me, my precious kitty, and shes all I need!

24. Do you want to change your name: Hmm... I do quite like my birth name, and I adore my last name, but my middle name... Im not super fond of “Marie”.

25. What did you do for your last birthday: hahahaha uh, well, Id been working at my new job for about a week at that time, so I was working on my 19th birthday.

26. What time did you wake up today: 11:35am

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: I was working on The Power of Faiths upcoming update! ;)

28. What is something you can’t wait for: to be done university... As much as it’s a cool experience and all, all the stress it brings is gonna kill me prematurely.

30. What are you listening to right now: “I Get To Love You” by Ruelle

31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: I work with a guy named Tom. He’s a music major, he plays piano and is overall a super cool dude

32. Something that’s getting on your nerves: when people I call for my job pick up the phone on a Sunday and bitch at me that I’m calling on “the day of rest”. Like?? Bitch, you did not have to pick up the phone. You saw the caller ID, just, let it go to voicemail?????????

33. Most visited website: It’s a toss-up between tumblr and ao3

34. Hair colour: brown, like, chocolate brown I guess

35. Long or short hair: It’s long for some people’s standards (it comes to between my shoulder blades) but still pretty short for me. I’m used to my hair reaching the small of my back.

36. Do you have a crush on someone: Oh hell no, aint nobody got time for that

37. What do you like about yourself: Uh... You guys wouldn’t like my answer.

38. Want any piercings: I seriously thought about a tongue piercing, but idk.

39. Blood type: You’d think, from the amount of blood Ive had taken for allergy tests and the like that I’d know. But nope, I have no idea.

40. Nicknames: Sam, Sammy, Samserban, Pretties, Samuel.

41. Relationship status: Single

42. Sign: Gemini!

43. Pronouns: she/her

44. Fave tv show: Voltron

45. Tattoos: I’m looking into tattoo parlors to get my first tattoo over the summer. I’m gonna get a bunch of flowers on my back, over my heart, for my grandma <3

46. Right or left handed: Right

47: Ever had surgery: Nope! Worst I’ve had are x-rays

48. Piercings: I do have my ears pierced, just once.

49. Sport: Hahahaaaa not anymore, I’m lazy af. But I used to figure skate competitively, row competitively, and ride horses.

50. Vacation: I hardly ever travel. Ive been down to Florida twice, and been to England and Scotland around this time two years ago with my two best friends.

51. Trainers: ...no? Again, I’m lazy af.

— More general

52. Eating: I dont eat as often as I should.

53. Drinking: Coca-Cola. Or coffee. Not sure which I’m gonna get yet.

54. I’m about to watch: I mean, I should be working on papers or something... Or even writing... But I just finished watching Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood the other day and I loved it!!!

55. Waiting for: my English prof to give me my marks back for a paper I wrote.

56. Want: a lot of money so I don’t have to work as much as I do to live in my bachelor’s apartment with my cat.

57. Get married: Maybe..... It depends on if I ever find the right person. But if I dont, I am more than happy to be alone.

58. Career: I really reeeaaally want to get into a writing/editing career. I want to one day work for a firm to work one on one with authors to help them edit and publish novels!

— Which is better

59. Hugs or kisses: Hugs!

60. Lips or eyes: Oooh, eyes man!

61. Shorter or taller: Taller...

62. Older or younger: Older

63. Nice arms or stomach: Ooooh... arms...

64. Hookup or relationships: Definitely relationships, but I’m terrible at keeping them,,

65. Troublemaker or hesitant: Oh gosh, I mean, Im definitely more of a trouble maker... But like, a cautious one.

— Have you ever

66. Kissed a stranger: Oh hell no

67. Drank hard liquor: Im Canadian... Yes

68.Turned someone down: Haha, I sure have! I got asked out by two different guys on the same day before.

69. Sex on first date: Oh god no

70: Broken someone’s heart: Probably.....

71. Had your heart broken: I most certainly have!

72. Been arrested: Fortunately, not.

73. Cried when someone died: Yes. But, only once.

74. Fallen for a friend: I have no idea what this means???

— Do you believe in

75. Yourself: hahaha uh... No???????

76. Miracles: Id like to??

77. Love at first sight: I do, but not for myself.

78. Santa Claus: Nope

79. Angels: Oh god no

— Misc

80. Eye colour:  like, a warm brown colour?

81. Best friends name: Kaylee!

82. Favourite movie: I love too many movies... But the ones that come to mind are Spirit: Stallion of the Cimerran, Stardust, The Swan Princess, and Toy Story!!!

83. Favourite actor: There are days I can barely remember my coworkers names, and I see them for like, 15 hours a week. Let alone someone I’ve never met???

84. Favourite cartoon: It’s Voltron ;)

85. Favourite teacher’s name: I dont really consider myself to have “favourite” profs. But I am fond of a few that I’ve had!

I’m gonna tag @forsakenangel88, @mardimari, @dumb-birdd, and any of my followers who want to do this! Just tag me, I’d love to see your answers <3

[donkee-butt]

i feel sick. my chest feels tight and i dont have the motivation for anything. i feel like ive been abdanonded and now im just hollow. like my own skin is a shell and when its finally cracked ill fall apart into dust and slip away like nothing. and i feel so stupid for letting myself slip into a depressive episode over something so trivial. i feel seflish. like a selfsih dumbass.

and i feel so desperate to let someone know because i just want to feel seen. for once, i want to feel open and vibrant because i feel so closed off and as if theres a barrier around me that keeps people away. im alone. its pathetic that i would make an empty blog just to vent in instead of talking to someone i know or just writing it as a journal for myself, but theres two reasons for that i suppose

that i feel ridiculous for feeling so shameful and lonely and that i dont want to bother the few people i have. i feel like im on their very last string and as if itll snap at any moment.

and the second being that even despite the first, i just want to be seen. i know nobody will ever see this, nobody i know will ever read it and if they do theyll never know its me, and that ill never work through my problems because of the fact that they will never see this, but knowing that its possible for even at least once person to see and now that im struggling.. for some reason i want that. and im disgusted by the fact that i would want to seek pity, that i cant withold my own emotions and desperately want everyone to know everything about me despite the fact that im incapable of social interactions. i think i make every new person i meet extremely uncomfortable

maybe thats why i stay in these relationships so long. ill only break off ties once ive found a replacement, will stay no matter how poorly i know im being treated because im so afraid of being alone. because id rather swallow my pride and prove to everyone that i can make friends, i can be loved and i can be appreciated. im tired of being humiliated

i just want to feel like somebodys first choice. im so scared of being alone and so tired of it. i cant survive by myself, ill go mad. i feel so

lonely

in a weeks time nothing has happeend and yet i went from feeling as if id finally gotten everything under control, become a new person, and was someone people liked being around, and now i feel again as if im alone

its always felt like me and myself against the world. i cant enjoy the things i used to with my friends anymore because im scared theyll abandon me. whats the point of living in the moment if im only going to be crushed in the future? i dont want to set myself up for disappointment so its best to keep my excitement at bay in the first place. i dont wanna be disappointed anymore

everyone always leaves me eventually. ive come to learn that maybe im too friendly. or maybe im too mean. i genuinely cant tell, i cant get a grip on my own personality. and i know its because im scared of what others will think. that if i call myself a friendly person theyll snicker below their breath or huff under their hand because its not true, i must be so full of myself to think im approachable, when in reality im a cold hearted bitch.

its easy to tell at this point im just a stepping stone. every time ive finally made a new connection they leave as soon as theyve found someone better. and it hurts. i dont know how to make those new connections and when i finally do its just a sick joke. i feel used. but its my own fault and i know it

im too clingy, too emotional. i act up and become pouty when im ignored for even the shortest amount of time all while treating others like doormats for my own emotional sanctity. its hypocritical and cold.

i dont know. i just feel like im stuck in a limbo. alone and cold, wallowing in the bottom of a pit i dug myself and then tripped into as if i didnt even know it was there, only to blame it on someone else.

i just want to be someones first choice. i want my fairy tale. but i dont deserve it.

[feverhalo]

Ok so. Big talky post about irl shit in all forms because why not & i feel bad leaving you all hanging so long on so much

Please dont r///ebl/////og and theres no pressure to read it or do anything in regards to this.

So. This covers like. So many topics. Grief and death and mental health being the biggest warnings for

Average news first. I still have my job and have been there officially for a year now! Pay rates are going up in my province, and thats a new solid reference should i need it any time soon. Theyre also beong really understanding and compromising(? Forgot theword i had originally) and letting me try new jobs/places to reduce stress

I found out yes, i am still allergic to peanut butter if the fact that i had really annoying stomach pain for h o u r s after eating a teeny tiny pb cookie is anything to go by. Didnt really pay attention to if i broke out on my sides or not because i was a little preoccupied with curling up tightly and feeling a little off the next day too. (I mean no duh what did i expect to happen but i mean. They smelled so good). Lesson learned.

Bad news

ive touched on but i dont think ever really said. Someone very very close to me passed in late summer and im still devistated and torn up and doing my denial/anger thing for the most part. Its. Not easy. But ive been going to see someone, admittedly its become a bit about everything when it was supposed to just be this, but i dont do death. When i was a kid and lost someone i shut down entirely and aside from angry outbursts and the occasional breakdown i tried my hardest to act like there was not and would never be a hole there. It didnt work well at all and im still affected by that person's passing too.

They were also one of the more supportive people in my life and i spent a lot of time reading and writing and creating in their company and its been hard.

And i know that im handling this a little better even though im still skipping out on things and blowing up and all the same sort of crap but i actually have a neutral space that wont feel marked or stained every day for processing and a neutral person to help.

And of course its not just grief im getting help with because its all kind of a tangled mess. But im also getting like. New insight on stuff and someone to talk to about whatever. And its making life quite a bit harder because im so used to blocking it out or locking myself away and letting things rush over and take over and run their course. Its been really hard to be creative because im incredibly self critical and having a lot more trouble focusing lately because of a lot of reasons.

Im stressed and overwhelmed a lot more easily and frequently right now. And i know im being distant even if it doesnt show. Im scared to kind of go along with this and open up and all that junk and now im being gently prodded to do so in short, honest (not just stuff i dont rly care about or stuff callously overshared to just pretend im being open) bursts its kind of freaking me out. But like. Itll all end up for something good i hope. Even though it feels awful right now and ive had stints of days or even a full week with supports on speed dial when i havent been able to calm down or shut off over thinking but thats- i mean i expect it. A lot is happening and ive known for years my coping strategies have been lacking.

Ive also been talking with this outside help and weve toyed with the idea of maybe i really do have add or at least my anxiety manifests similarly and its kind of a which came first- and this ties in to the next good part in a second- but i havent scheduled anything in my area for right now for those sorts of things but im still kind of getting new ideas from a different angle that might maybe help and if i dont then im learning things i still may be able to use. Either way its not a huge deal for the current moment and its a bit if trying to find compassion and acceptance for myself whether its thing a or b or neither but whatever

Good, great, best news!!

I have an in to starting the more physical process of transitioning. Like i have a day and a time and a start. Like really really really soon. Its going to be hard i know because im going to have to open up about things and will probably be told i have to wait until i can stablize a bit more- its been a lot happening in a short while. And i understand. I waited 2 years to hear from them, i waited a few years to reach out to them, and i unknowingly waited years to find new words that struck a chord and all that. So as long as its moving i can deal with the wait.

I have GOOD people (many i know and have known for years now who happen to work in an adjacent field, some who are new and yet to be met but have rly good references if that makes sense?) who are going to help me kind of navigate and understand and undo things i thought i learned that were honestly just veiled hate and scare tactic garbage. People who support me and dont push me past what i am comfortable with undergoing to "prove" anything (such as 'if you didnt do x right away youre lying/if you dont do y surgery first i wont believe you' kind of comments. I hope). Im looking into options and im so excited for it!!

Its going to involve a lot of talking about things and probably a lot i dont want to talk about just yet but its a great chance because it gets me officially connected and officially started and this place has more options than my town and more specialized crap that can detangle and work through all the connected things and it can all be lumped together as the same process and hopefully help financially that way- and time wise unbelieveably. Theres a very good chance ill be able to talk with someone there, and very likely that first appointment, who can help me understand why i work the way i do sometimes for whatever reason it is.

And im getting a lot of positivity and lessons like learning to give myself some slack where it matters and stuff like that. And that im not worthless or stained or going to rot other people- which is honestly uncomfortable for me to think because of how long ive thought the opposite. Like to think i may actually be pretty good like not pretend good and actually worth anything at all. Because i got stuck in bad thoughts since i was small.

Im also thinking on trying to go back to school because i have a lot i think about with nowhere to really put it and nothing to do which doesnt help me do the things i want to do. So maybe something like that would help because i like learning. I like the motions of it- writing and reading with intent to understand something new, the routine as much as i whined about it in highschool, the forced kind of proximity to people living apart from what i know entirely too so the world feels bigger in a tangible way. Thats on a back burner and waiting for sure! But the fact im thinking about it and happily thinking about it? I like that.

My life has been. Kind of a combination of bland as hell and busy if that makes sense. Ive had to sort of shut down outward productivity and cut down on things a bit because so much is going on, and im trying to do a lot as paced and as slowly as i can bear.

And even though im not Here here as much as i want to be and everything its just. Kind of time for this. And im so glad and happy that when i can be here i can see that people still like what ive done and theres always awesome content to see and yeah

Thanks for everything and checking in and i really really am looking forward to moving forward.

[lysdal]

tagged by @rick-wrights-right-nipple​ q; thanks <3

LASTS:

Drink: tomato soup :)

Last phone call: with my mom asking when they’d get home again

Last text message: girlfriend q: 

Last song listened to: røde mor - kys din frø      really getting into old danish protest and psychedelic rock q:

Last time you cried: yesterday i think, dont remember

HAVE YOU EVER:

Dated someone twice? nope

Been cheated on? well.. no, not really

Kissed someone and regretted it? yeah... definitely. i assume both of us have just forgotten it though

Lost someone special? grandparent, knew her very well though

Been depressed? i dont know, never been checked by a doctor

Been drunk and thrown up? ofc :’) threw up in my hair resulting in it being sticky the day after. (also managed to puke and then faceplant into it later :’))

Talked to someone named Tom? no, not yet

IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend? yeah :) 

Fallen out of love? definitely :’) much has happend this year though, i feel it was necessary to shape me, so i dont go around being sad about the time i ‘wasted’

Laughed until you cried? always. if its worth laughing about itll probably make me laugh until tears come lmao

Met someone who changed you? i guess you could say that, yeah q; <33

Found out who your true friends were? already knew who those people were

Found out someone was talking about you? not really

GENERAL:

How many people on Tumblr do you know in real life? 4 people :)

Do you have any pets? sadly no ;( i did have a bird sometime, he was pretty cute

Do you want to change your name? maybe my last name, but not my first name, its pretty okay q:

What time did you wake up this morning? at 11 or 13 i think, its vacation so i dont keep track

What were you doing last night? just talked to a nice person q; 

Name something you cannot wait for? meeting up with my girlfriend q: it has been what ive been looking forward to for a pretty long while now

What getting on your nerves right now? pretty much nothing, maybe a couple of ‘friends’ at school but not too much. 

Blood type: im pretty sure its 0-

Nickname: lysdal (yah, username is creative i know)

Relationship status: post minecraft sex, but still no hand holding yet

Zodiac sign: aries (horoscopes seem to fit so im pretty happy with it)

Prounouns: whatever you want to call me, swamp monster included

Favorite tv show: futurama so far :)

College major: no ideaaa

Hair color: dark brown, getting darker i think

Long or short: long definitely q: 

Do you have a crush on someone? well that person would be my girlfriend  🤔 is it still a crush then

What do you like about yourself? if i really want to do something i can focus on it, and do it. i suppose thats quite good. i also play guitar and bass okay. my curiosity seems to drag me around in a lot of hobbies, so thats also nice.

FIRSTS:

Surgery: had a splinter 1 cm deep under my nail :’) the doctor just took a pair of pliers and ripped it out nearly alongside with my nail :’)

Piercing: i once fell and pierced my own head, but no intentional ones, and im not too sure ill ever get any

Best friend: eh.. my middle school best friend didnt really turn out like me, so we stopped talking pretty much as soon as we stopped going to school together

Sport: volleyball :’)  for 3 years :’) never againnn

Vacation: hungary when i was 2 years old, i remember the trip by car being wayyyy too long z.z

Pair of sneakers: never had any i think

NOW:

Eating: protein rods aka breadsticks

Drinking: pepsiii 💦💦

I’m about to: go to work because ive been postphoning it whole week

Listening: an 8 hour long video of joel playing half life 2 👍

WANTS:

Kids: later in life, yeah

Get married: unless the social norms change, yeah

Career: i wish i knew :’) maybe music if thats possible, probably not though

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes? eyess 👀, lips are still pretty tho :)

Hugs or kisses? both are very nice :) especially together q: 

Shorter or taller? preferably shorter, but thats because anyone taller than me would surely have back problems z.z

Older or younger? same age, maybe a bit younger, depends on how mature the person is though

Romantic or spontaneous? romantic definitely q:

Sensitive or loud? depends on what mood im in, both can be nice

Hook up or relationship? relationship 100%, hook ups seem rather pointless for stuff other than self confidence

Trouble maker or hesitant? hesitant when theres risk, trouble maker if there isnt :’) 

HAVE YOU EVER:

Kissed a stranger: neverr, kissing is more precious than that

Drank hard liquor: you bet, currently the strongest stuff ive tried was 80% alcohol modern absinthe, but im still looking out for stronger stuff :’)  why not try it all if i can.

Lost glasses/contacts: dont have either

Sex on first date: if its with a person like rick wright maybe 👀 i mean.. its a once in a lifetime opportunity.. generally no though :’) if you like the person that much then whats the rush, there will definitely be more dates.

Broken someone’s heart: nooo z.z never done that and i hope i never will

Been arrested: noo, but i once slapped a police officers ass in the amsterdam airport when i was younger :’) was too young to get arrested though, and the police officer didnt mind 

Turned someone down: once a veryyy long time ago. its not often i get asked though so eh, not like theres much to reject lmao

Fallen for a friend: sadly yeah.. went okay 1 time, lost a friend the other time

DO YOU BELIEVE:

In yourself: depends on what stupid stuff im doing :’) when i seriously try stuff i do tend to believe i can do it though

Miracles: sometimes its hard not to 

Love at first sight: attraction at first sight maybe, but theres no way you can know the persons personality and everything by just looking.

Heaven: maybe, but not in the traditional sense

Santa: sadly not ;(

Witchcraft: heck yeah, that would be hella cool

ill tag @subdivisi0ns and @silentfreeway if they want to q: