#in the mean time i need to reread this whole thing from start to finish to gather my thoughts

[1am-s0-veryt1red]

"bkg should be higher than 15" bkg debuted at no. 4 and dropped to 15 because he can't stop yelling at people HAUSHDHS

[ginnysgraffiti]

you're devouring these patrick bateman asks and i love it so i have to put in a bit

could we get smth w maybe a younger reader (like finishing a degree ish mbe??) whos an aspiring writer and patrick sees their writing as something actually good enough to obsess over and admire like he does with music yk and he kinda takes it upon himself to try to help boost their career and all that

also mbe a little gn idk if you do that on ur acc i forgot to checkkk it's ok if not there's just not much patrick that isn't fem

i tired to make it longer than usual, i hope you enjoy it TT

PATRICK BATEMAN x yn.

it starts as quiet curiosity. then, as always with patrick, it becomes consumption.

you hand him your writing one night —unsure, maybe shy, maybe joking and saying that you needed advice for university courses you were taking— and he takes it with mechanical politeness, fully expecting mediocrity.

most people who say they’re “working on a novel” are unbearable, and he’s read enough uninspired prose in the new york times to expect another disappointment.

but it isn’t that.

you write like you see too much. like you notice things other people miss. the rhythm of your sentences has intentionality. the metaphors are sharp, cold in places, and disturbingly exact. and he feels something rare while reading it: a flicker of actual feeling.

not envy. not admiration. something closer to awe. he rereads the same three pages four times that night.

then he prints a copy. just in case.

he starts quoting your own writing back to you —subtly, like it’s something from an ad campaign or a record sleeve.

in the beginning, you don’t notice. he’ll casually drop a phrase during conversation, something you recognize in passing. when you pause, brow raised, he only blinks. “what? it’s good.”

by the third time, he isn’t hiding it.

he reads your latest draft aloud to you in bed like it’s an excerpt from les inrockuptibles, cigar in hand, voice calm and clinical.

“this part,” he murmurs, tracing the margin, “this is violent. you understand violence better than most people in this city.”

and it’s not a compliment. it’s a revelation.

he begins inserting your name into conversations with unsettling ease.

patrick doesn’t usually talk about people. he talks about impressions. about value. but suddenly, your name becomes something he says often.

at restaurants: “they’re working on something new, you know. it’s different. smarter than what’s being published now.”

at business meetings: “you know who could write that better?”

he gets you in rooms you didn’t ask to be in.

he doesn’t ask if you’re ready.

he just decides.

you are something good, and like all things he deems worth preserving, he wants to own it — or at the very least, orchestrate its rise.

he offers to “help” edit, but his version of feedback is bizarrely intense.

he doesn’t care about grammar or structure. he cares about the precision of your metaphors, the weight of your last line, whether or not the reader should be punished by the ending.

he circles whole paragraphs and writes “not cruel enough.”

he hands you books from his library that don’t match your style, but then explains why your work is what they were trying to do — but failed to.

he says, almost offhandedly one night, “i think your sentences could kill someone if you wanted them to.”

and he means it.

he reads your writing the way other people read sacred texts. not because he understands everything — but because it makes him feel like he could.

he doesn’t love easily, or well. but he obsesses in ways that mimic it.

and you? you’ve given him something no one else in his world can offer: language that isn’t about money, or sex, or image.

your voice — your mind — exists outside the cages he built for himself.

so he tries to bind it anyway.

he commissions a custom leather-bound print of your manuscript. you haven’t even finished the last chapter.

he keeps it in his briefcase like it’s a weapon.

like you’re his weapon.

and when you finally ask why he’s helping you so much, he says — too softly to be calculated — “because you’re the first thing i’ve read that made me feel like i wasn’t in control.”

there’s a pause. he swallows.

then he ruins it by following it with: “and because i don’t want anyone else to find you before i’m done.”

you stare. he doesn’t flinch.

he thinks it’s a compliment. and, somehow, it is.

his obsession isn’t subtle: he’s constantly angling to insert you into the right circles, the elite literary salons, the private readings, the offices of influential publishers he’s cultivated relationships with.

patrick’s used to playing a game of appearances and leverage, and now he’s using every tool in his arsenal for you.

he’ll call contacts under the guise of business, then casually drop your name, speak about you as if you’re already a published author, an inevitability — and because it’s patrick, his confidence convinces them to listen.

he doesn’t care that you’re still working on your thesis or that you haven’t quite perfected your narrative voice. he will get you published, no matter what it takes.

there’s a sharp edge beneath his patronage — he’s determined the literary world will see you the way he does: worthy.

patrick’s precise nature bleeds into how he treats your writing process, almost to the point of compulsive control.

he schedules “work sessions” where you read your drafts aloud to him, under his watchful eye.

he’s the ruthless editor who will cut what he deems “superfluous” — but only because he’s obsessed with perfection. his feedback is exacting, sometimes cruel, but always laced with the knowledge that you can do better.

he doesn’t tolerate excuses or hesitation. “this is your career — your legacy. treat it like it’s the only thing that matters.”

and you start to realize that for patrick, your success is his validation.

because if you fail, what does that say about the one who invested everything?

beneath the relentless drive, there’s a strange kind of affection — rare, muted, and fiercely guarded.

patrick doesn’t do softness. he doesn’t do vulnerability easily. but when he watches you struggle with rejection emails or harsh professor critiques, he’s quietly furious on your behalf.

he’ll bring you coffee at dawn, a rare warmth in his voice when he says, “don’t let them break you. they’re terrified because you’re better.”

he believes in you with a conviction that feels almost like obsession.

and every night, when the city is silent and your pages are strewn across the apartment, he’ll sit beside you, pretending to read, but really just watching you breathe.

you’re still young, still growing — but patrick knows he’s already irrevocably tangled in the story of your life.

and the tension between admiration and possession is a constant undertone — he can’t help but feel territorial over your talent, your time, your energy.

he hates the idea of distractions pulling you away — friends who don’t “get it,” classmates who underestimate you, editors who dismiss your voice as “immature.”

he becomes a gatekeeper in the most subtle way, encouraging you to cut ties with influences that don’t serve your future, pushing you harder when he senses complacency.

“the world isn’t going to hand this to you. you have to take it — and i’m here to make sure you do.”

there’s a dangerous intensity in the way he says it, like love and control are braided into one.

the night of your book launch, patrick is impeccably poised — a mask of calm, but every detail obsessively curated.

he’s chosen the venue himself — a sleek, minimalist gallery downtown, just the right mix of exclusivity and buzz. the guest list is a who’s who of literary elites and socialites, and patrick has personally made sure your face is the only one on every invitation.

he stands beside you, perfectly tailored, but his eyes never stop scanning the room — calculating who admires you, who might try to undermine your ascent, who might be worthy of your attention.

he offers you a glass of champagne with the precision of a surgeon, his voice low and steady: “they’re going to eat you alive. but you’re stronger than they think. devour them.”

beneath that calm exterior, he’s buzzing with a complicated cocktail of pride, possession, and an unspoken fear that someone might try to steal what he’s helped build.

patrick obsesses over every review, every mention, every whisper of your name in the press.

he compulsively collects clippings, screenshots, and emails, filing them away in a binder that looks more like evidence than praise.

he reads the critiques with a clinical eye, discarding the “constructive” ones as irrelevant or malicious, but treasuring the rare glowing words as if they were personal victories.

if a review is harsh, he calls your publisher or editor — charming and lethal — to “clarify misunderstandings.”

for patrick, your success is a reflection of his own power and influence, and he will not tolerate anyone questioning it.

he becomes a paradoxical mix of protector and competitor.

while he wants you to shine brighter than anyone else, he’s also deeply territorial.

at parties and readings, he watches your interactions with other admirers or writers with a simmering jealousy that he masks behind polite nods and dry remarks.

he might comment, “interesting conversation, but be careful who you trust. some people only want your name for their own gain.”

he’s the silent shadow behind your spotlight, making sure no one forgets that he was the one who engineered your rise.

in private, his admiration turns into something almost reverent

he’s fascinated by the physical book itself — the weight, the texture, the smell of ink on paper. he’ll trace the letters of your name on the cover with deliberate fingers, like it’s an artifact.

he keeps a signed first edition on his nightstand, next to his meticulously organized skincare products — a symbol of the world you’re conquering together.

he may even whisper to you late at night, “you’re not just a writer now. you’re a force.”

and in that moment, the usual coldness melts into something fiercely protective and strangely tender.

GOD NOW I WANT A PATRICK BATEMAN TO HELP ME PERSUE MY WRITING PASSION UGH

:,(

[cressidagrey]

I found you by accident! And of course I immediately started reading your works. The first thing I read was "Such a Mystery" and then I found Lando and Elizabeth. I fell in love with both stories and read them several times. Currently my obsession is the new story "White horse" I LOVE IT! Every day from the morning I refresh your profile to check if there is a new chapter. when I see that it is my day immediately gets better..

1. I love it when someone new finds out that Max is in a relationship. Pure chaos. Sometimes I get the feeling that Lando will have a heart attack because of it (especially because of dinner 😂)

2. The ring is gorgeous. It suits Belle

3. Charles, Arthur, and Lorenzo make me want to punch them in the face

4. I'm trying to gather information from your answers and put them more or less into a whole. But oh my God I feel like it's going to be interesting.

5. Can we expect some bigger drama?

6. Can we know if there's another chapter today?

7. How did you come up with the idea for this story?

8. Are you overwhelmed by the number of people asking for more chapters because they're unsatisfied?

9. I’m sorry for my English, it’s not my first language (Polish is)

Once again I love your writing! Remember you are amazing! Have a nice day!

Ahhh I’m so happy you found me — even if by accident!! 🥹💛 Such a Mystery and The Queen of Romantasy and the Race Car Prince hold such a special place in my heart, so hearing that you loved those and are now deep in the White Horse obsession?? Truly the highest compliment!! Thank you so much for being here, and for rereading — I’m so honored 🫶🏻

Now let me go through your amazing list because I LOVE this message:

You’re absolutely right — someone new finding out about Max and Belle every chapter = pure chaos. And yes, Lando is absolutely one dramatic reveal away from passing out in a restaurant 😭🍝

I’m so glad you love the ring!! I imagined something vintage and intricate and very Belle — quiet, timeless elegance.

Charles, Arthur, and Lorenzo... yeah. Fully valid. The rage is earned.

You're gathering clues like a pro 👀 and yes... it's going to get very interesting very soon.

Bigger drama? 👀 Let’s just say... yes.

I never want to make promises about exact updates because life (and law school 😭), but I do try to update as often as I can. If not today, then very soon! ❤️ (I had the chapter nearly finished and then I had another idea and it has now snowballed...once again.)

The idea for White Horse actually started as a one shot of May 2024. So that was the starting point. And then I realise that to give the story the time it deserved, I needed to start much earlier. It was pretty much a thought experiment at one point about how it would be to be a sibling to a famous driver who is the golden child of the family...and the main character just gets pushed to the side. again and again and again.

I’m not overwhelmed — mostly just very grateful 🥹 Sometimes it’s hard or even lightly annoying when people ask for more chapters in a way that feels like pressure, but most of the time, people are so kind and patient, and that makes it all worth it 💛 Though asking me when the next update is, is not gonna make me write faster. Mostly the opposite, because I need to answer that question and I could have written something in the time that took lol.

And please don’t apologize for your English — it’s fantastic and I understood every word perfectly! Dziękuję bardzo (I hope that's correct) for reading and writing to me — it truly means so much 🫶🏻

Sending you the biggest hug!! Can’t wait to share more of Belle and Max’s story with you ❤️✨

[asexualbookbird]

I FINISHED MY SEWING PROJECT WOOOOOO! And then read almost nothing for a couple of weeks about it. Went to a few craft days at the library, and then a chocolate and tea event at the library, reached out as a volunteer and will likely be helping with end of summer reading programs as well. Given the state of the world, I'm trying to reach out to the parts of my community I care about. It's scary, but I'm doing it scared.

I've also been tasked with doing a couple samples for the yarn shop! Can't share it because turns out the colors chosen are perfect for a friend and yarn shop says I can send it off when it's done being displayed. Someone remind me to take progress pictures for later posting.

Despite fewer sewing hours for audiobooks, I still managed to get through more of my yearly list! I now have two more books on my Illumicrate list before I've completed that section, and I think I may actually do that.

The Storm Crow by Kayln Josephson ⭐️⭐️⭐️ – Too much romantic pining, not enough crows. Once the crow hatched I started having more fun, but I think you should have more on your mind while your kingdom is in peril than the cute baker with strong arms. I do like the cute baker with string arms though, I will say that. Probably the least offensive YA love triangle.

Archivist Wasp by Nicole Kornher-Stace ⭐️⭐️⭐️ – Fine and interesting, but something felt missing. Even having read Firebreak and Flight & Anchor, I found things to be a little confusing. The ending was the best as everything came together, but getting there was slow going. Also not sure why this is included on ace lists. I mean I know the characters are ace, but there's no inclination from the text. At least let him kill the woman who implied he only cared about his partner because they were romantically involved (they were not). Still not a bad read, just. Not as good as it could be.

The Art of Destiny by Wesley Chu ⭐️⭐️ – The fact I read fourteen (plus an immediate reread) books in the time it took to finish this says it all, to be honest. It was very slow with no payoff and I always found something better to do. Will try book three, but I won't force myself to finish it like I did this one.

Julia Child’s Kitchen by Paula Johnson ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ – Who wants to go on a trip with me to The Smithsonian? I MUST see this kitchen. I know our beloved Julia Child has been gone for twenty years, but when we got to that part, I still felt like I was losing a friend! And The whole point of the book was cataloging the dismantling and reassembling of her kitchen for the museum, and still! When they dismantled it, I felt like I was losing a friend! She really did change so much about cooking education I love her.

The Girl From the Other Side: Deluxe Editions I and II by Nagabe ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ – I don’t usually rate manga until I’ve finished the series, but this was SO good. My friend got me these for my birthday and now I’m trying to source the rest because I need this series to ruin me emotionally. Also pleased to be reminded of Elias from Magus’ Bride only to come to tumblr and discovered him and Teacher are Shipped. Keep up the good work, tumblr.

Black Flame by Gretchen Felker-Martin ⭐️ – I will admit, when I realized this was the same author who wrote Manhunt, I was skeptical. Manhunt is on my Do Not Read list because I just don’t think I will vibe with it. This confirms that fact. Probably wouldn’t have read this if it wasn’t free. I’m way too asexual for it, but also? The writing just wasn’t that good? Reminded me of Hell Followed With Us in some ways. That’s not a compliment.

A Dark and Drowning Tide by Allison Saft ⭐ – My biggest hang up is on the Fantasy Judaism that isn't all that Fantasy. Just because you call it Yevanish doesn't mean you can take things about Jewish history and slap it onto your character that 1) pulls away from her family and religion and 2) joins the German guy who is perpetuating antisemitism because he promised to colonize fantasy Europe and give it to your people. Adelaide was right and no one wants to admit it. The romance wasn't even good, they spent 70% of the time arguing until they decided to fuck about it.

Opening Fire (Old Guard vol. 1) by Greg Rucka ⭐️⭐️⭐️ – Ah. I'm sorry, but I prefer the movie. If only because I think the art is Hideous.

I also started Hammajang Luck, but since I finished it well into August 2nd, it'll be on next months wrap up. August brings a round of doctors appointments for EDS evaluation in my hands, and if all goes well I should have splints by the end of the month and I am SO excited about it. I still have to find someone to Officially Diagnose me so I can find out how to handle neck and hip pain, but it's a start!

Being so close to finihsing my Illumicrate goals has be eager to just jump right in to my last couple of books. I'm not saying that's an August Goal, but it might be an August Goal. I also have to read Dune for book club. I do not want to read Dune. How can I make reading Dune fun.

I haven't been doing much art lately, as I've been working on yarn shop projects, but my commissions are still open if anyone is interested in helping pay for my teeth in September. My phone bill for that month is paid thanks to the kindness of the internet, so anything moving forward will go directly to teeth! I appreciate the kindness of the internet, cannot express that enough <3

[hollowed-theory-hall]

What are your thoughts on drarry?

spireasalix asked:

Hi! I just found your blog and find your theories really interesting. I don't know if anyone has asked you before, but what do you think of Draco Malfoy? Do you think he would have a chance with Harry? Could they fall in love or there is too much history between them? Let's make Harry/Draco canon! Hahahaha

Hi, thank you so much! 😊

Since it's a ship/character ask I want to preface that everyone can ship what they want and like whatever characters they want and this is my personal highly subjective opinion.

I'll start with my thoughts on Drarry, as I had an arc there, like, back when I just got into the fandom I really liked the concept of Drarry, so I read some Drarry and didn't like most of what I found back then. That dislike kinda colored Drarry and Draco's character as a whole for me, so it was kinda like: "I can see the appeal on paper, but I don't like it". More recently though I read a lot about canon Drarry from @iamnmbr3 and she honestly got me rethinking my opinion on Draco and Drarry.

As I stand on it now, I'm not invested in Drarry, but I see them occasionally on my dash and sometimes I like what I see. It's the: yeah, I can see it happen, but it's not a pairing I'm passionate about.

Now, to @spireasalix more specific questions.

Draco Malfoy is an interesting character in theory but I don't think it comes across in the books as much as it could. Like, in books 1-5, I find him an annoying spoilt little brat. It can be entertaining when he comes on the page, and I know he'd be whining and dramatic and make a scene. And it makes sense Draco is this way, he's an only child of very rich parents who love him, he looks up to his father like Lucius could do no wrong, but he is lonely and attention-seeking. This need for attention is interesting and is part of why he is so obsessed with Harry. It shows he wants approval and is actually quite insecure under all his pride and mean attitude. He was raised to be a blood-supremacist spoilt jerk, and he does a decent job at being a schoolyard bully without crossing any super major lines.

Younger Draco can be a fun character, he's a problem Harry feels comfortable with because he knows how to deal with him, unlike his other problems (of which he has a lot). I think part of why Harry focuses on Draco as much as he does is because Draco is a predictable problem, one Harry feels he has control over how he wants to deal with him. Which is comforting considering how little control he has over literally every other area of his life.

Then in books 6 and 7, that's when Draco starts actually having his character development, and there are interesting things there, or the potential for them. I love what he goes through, becoming a Death eater only to realize, that: no, he can't really do violence. The constant fear for himself and his family, the torture he most likely goes through, being a prisoner in his own home, like, there is so much potential good angst there but I don't feel like the books really take it as far as it can go.

I recently finished my reread of HBP, and Draco in it was having a crap time, truly. He partially brought it on himself, but he really was thrown into the deep end and he is flailing around to keep his head above water regretting ever asking to leave the kiddie pool (because make no mistake, he asked to be in the grown-ups' pool). And you see how he matures there, going from a spoilt brat to a terrified teen. In one summer he went from the top of his own little world to seeing how powerless he actually is. And, like, out of everyone, the person he apparently confides in is Moaning Myrtle, like, idk, I love that, I think this friendship should be mentioned more. Like, Draco is having a crisis over his family, his worldview, his own worth, being a Death Eater and what it means, and his confidant is the ghost of a muggleborn girl who Tom Riddle, his new master, killed. Like, there are some implications.

I find it fascinating Myrtle says this about Draco:

“No,” said Myrtle defiantly, her voice echoing loudly around the old tiled bathroom. “I mean he’s sensitive, people bully him too, and he feels lonely and hasn’t got anybody to talk to, and he’s not afraid to show his feelings and cry!”

(HBP, 462)

That combined with the fact that Draco doesn't ever really try to harm Harry too badly (@iamnmbr3 wrote many great posts about this). Like, at the beginning of HBP, he has Harry petrified and he just breaks his nose. And this is already after he becomes a Death Eater. He also helps Harry multiple times throughout Deathly Hollows, something that places him and his family at risk.

And, yes, he makes some attempts to kill Dumbledore that harm others (the cursed necklace that hurt Katie Bell and the poison Ron drank) but I think the methods he uses are telling. Draco attempts to kill Dumbledore with methods where he himself is far away from the action. You can say it's due to a Slytherin sense of self-preservation, and that's part of it, I'm sure, but I think the main part of it is that Draco is averse to violence. At the end when he was face to face with Dumbledore he couldn't bring himself to cast the curse. Dumbledore was disarmed and surrounded, there was nothing he could've (or would've) done to hurt Draco, but Draco still hesitated. He couldn't kill him even when his own life and his family's were on the line. Harry also talks about how much Draco is likely hurt from having to torture others on Voldemort's orders in Deathly Hollows, and I think Harry is spot on about it.

If we look at the bullying of younger Draco, he doesn't act out violently. He is the cruel words and insults type, and I remember being honestly surprised he physically hit Harry in HBP because it's not the sort of thing Draco does. So, while Draco as schoolyard bully is mean, he practically is never shown to be physically violent, at least not that I remember. He only starts being more of a physical threat in HBP, and in the cases of Ron and Katie, he does so from a distance in a way he isn't directly involved in the violence.

That being said, while what he goes through is interesting and has plenty of potential and I do like his character, I find him kinda annoying. Like, in my very subjective opinion, I find his whining in the early books incredibly annoying and I find him, even in the later books, kinda underwhelming. Like, I want more out of his character, idk. Like, really, all power to you for liking Draco, he just, unfortunately, doesn't make it into my top Harry Potter characters purely because of personal subjective bias.

Like, for all of Draco being a Slytherin from a long line of Slytherins, he doesn't showcase many Slytherin characteristics (yes, that's something I dislike about his character, go figure 🤷‍♀️). Like, Draco isn't cunning, like, at all. He's smart, I'm not saying he isn't, he gets good and even outstanding grades in various school subjects, and he fixes the vanishing cabinet he knows nothing about on his own. He is skilled and talented magically and he can figure out complex magic on his own, but when it comes to long-term planning or general cunning... yeah, I don't think that's part of Draco's arsenal.

He acts out on useful information on the first opportunity he has, with very little thought about timing or how to best use it and very little forethought in general. In 1st year he gets Harry and Co caught outside after curfew but doesn't think his plan through so he too, is caught out after curfew. And sure, he's 11, but 11-year-old Harry wouldn't have made that mistake, I think (neither would Ron or Hermione). In 3rd year, his plan against Buckbeak and Hagrid was laughable and only worked because Lucius could pull it off. I mean, Draco wasn't even doing a good job at faking an injury compared to Harry who could believably pretend to be the Bloody Baron to scare off Peeves at 11, not to mention lying reliably to McGonagall at 12. In GoF he makes these Potter stinks badges, which are magically impressive (considering they still work 3 years later) but are again, an example of Draco acting on something immediately because that's how he tends to operate. Like how he goes straight to Harry every time he finds something in the Daily Prophet to make fun of.

Even if we look at Draco's later plans, like in HBP, he was mostly trying to buy plans rather than think about how to solve his problem. Because Draco knows how to buy his way out of problems, not think his way out. And while all this does make for an interesting trait for him to have in his rule in the story and he has an invisible arc to break away from this thinking pattern and that does lead him to the vanishing cabinet eventually, it does make me like him less. I'm biased, I can't help it.

His ambition is another thing, I don't know if this is an unpopular opinion, but I don't think Draco is particularly ambitious. Like, he wants to make his parents (especially Lucius) proud, he wants people to like him, and he wants to be popular, sure, but he doesn't have any long-term plans or specific goals in mind. He grew up already having everything, so he doesn't really have any ambitions bigger than that. I'm not saying there needs to be, Harry isn't particularly ambitious either, it's just interesting to me that our poster Slytherin in Harry's year isn't that much of a Slytherin at all.

As I mentioned earlier, Draco also seems to be averse to violence and doesn't have as much of a ruthless streak as his house is usually associated with. Draco, at the end of the day, seems to me like a very sheltered kid who idolized war when he heard about it in stories up until he had to actually take part in it. He is one of the softer characters in the books actually, in my opinion.

While I think he definitely values the traits of house Slytherin as he grew up learning to appreciate them, he doesn't actually possess them, at least, not in abundance. Maybe this is an unpopular opinion, but honestly, I think Draco is more of a Gryffindor than a Slytherin considering he is brave (in the last book especially. I want to note he isn't the same brave as Harry. Draco fears a lot more than Harry does, but when push comes to shove, he keeps going despite his fear. He's more similar to Neville in that regard), bold, and definitely has his personal code of honor and chivalry he acts according to, but I digress.

My personal issue with Draco is the main issue I have with Drarry as a ship, because, like, I can't be actively invested in a ship when I find one of the characters annoying. I have a similar stance on Romione as I have on Drarry. I like Romione well enough, I enjoy the fanart of them I see, but I wouldn't actively search for fics of them. Neither would I write fics where they are the main pairing. In Romione's case, I love Ron but find Hermione kinda annoying, I don't hate her, I don't even dislike her, I actually like her, but she annoys me. Draco is the same way, I like him, but he just gets on my nerves sometimes.

To summarise, I see the appeal of Drarry, and I can see how it could work on paper. I don't think Harry and Draco ever truly hated each other in the books, so, yeah, I think they could get together. They could definitely forgive each other everything, hell, the books practically outright say they forgive each other everything in canon. I think you can build a very compelling love story for them, it's just not a story I'm invested in reading/writing mostly because Draco isn't a character that I'm overly invested in.

[blackberrysummerblog]

Hello hello! Happy Sunday everybody!—I’ve been gone a long time and haven’t been able to read nearly as much fic as I’d like, but I’m trying to mend that. For anyone who missed it, a few weeks ago I finished my birthday fic for @rimeswithpurple, Pull Yourself Together. It’s chock full of tropes like Only One Bed, Forced Proximity, Magical Mishap, and more. I have a real soft spot for it, so thank you to everyone who’s read it and let me know you liked it :)

I love a good process post from other people, so here’s one from me, in which I have to say that GENERALLY I don’t make any kind of outline. I GENERALLY have a pretty good idea of how a story will go from start to finish and then I write that story from start to finish—yeah, quite often surprising myself with a change in direction, which is one of my favorite things in the whole world. Isn’t it great to be surprised?—Gang, I’m old. Surprise means I’m not at the end quite yet.

So anyway, I’ve had two mad deviations from my usual process since joining this fandom: my ongoing crucible marriage au, which is STILL in huge pieces all over my drive (and still not dead in my mind) and now my COBB from 2024 with Arianna, Time Will Lie Down and be Still. I’ve been mostly working in a start-to-finish order, but here I am struggling a bit in the last chapter (the bit where I have PLENTY of framework to hang the action on—the story is literally based on a movie), and I’m realizing that it’s maybe not working because I need to add other scenes into the parts of the chapter that I’ve already written. That happens from time to time, but where I’m deviating from my norm the most here is that I’m writing scenes I’m not happy with. The writing stinks, y’all. It’s literally like, This happens, then That happens—I just put the action down to have it, and it is NOT GOOD. Not to say that my writing is always great, but I’m usually happy enough with it when I share. But, it’s a process. Maybe it’s not as bad as I think; I’m just having a bit of trouble reconciling the idea that I may have to reread my writing, a thing normal people do all the time. At any rate, it’s not how I usually work, so here’s a bit of what I have; it’s Baz POV, describing a dream he had the night before:

I was in a field, watching a boy cry. Not Dev, not me—far too fair, this one. His hair was thick and curly, a shade of brown that had been run through with gold. He looked about twelve or so—not quite a teenager, but nearly. It was dark and a soft wind kicked up—I saw it in the branches of the tree that he was leaning against. He scrubbed dirty fists into his eyes, and suddenly I could make out a cottage in the middle distance, with a light still on in the window. I could feel everything in this boy’s breaking heart: the overwhelming ache of disappointment, the self-loathing. Hopelessness washed through him again and again, waves that hit with each ragged breath between his sobs. I felt as though my heart might break right along with his, and then he suddenly looked up.

Not at me. No, he was looking at the sky. He wanted to escape; he longed to be free. I took a step back, stunned by the magic I felt welling up and radiating from him. Power like this doesn’t exist in the World of Mages—it’s like something from legend. Dream or no, I could smell it—green smoke, burning, the sharp snap of cinnamon. Cinnamon and…the scents were familiar to me. Somehow I knew it was the scent of a spell, but I don’t think the boy was casting it. Not willingly, anyway. Rose petals floated in on the night air, and more blue feathers.

He fell to his knees then, shoulders hunching over, the back of his shirt splitting. Something was happening to him, something immense and frightening, but I wasn’t afraid. If anything, I wanted to go to him and tell him that he would be all right, and perhaps I would have if Mordelia hadn’t slapped me awake with a pillow to the face.

And now I have a lot of catching up to do! Enjoy the rest of the week, everyone! No pressure tags and hellos to: @larkral @raeny-day @cutestkilla @c0nsumemy5oul @artsyunderstudy @iamamythologicalcreature @ic3-que3n @cows4247 @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @youarenevertooold @valeffelees @letraspal @stitchy-queerista @monbons @imagineacoolusername @ileadacharmedlife @aristocratic-otter @nausikaaa @confused-bi-queer @carryonsimoncarryonbaz @prettygoododds @shrekgogurt @facewithoutheart @alexalexinii @forabeatofadrum @thewholelemon @roomwithanopenfire @supercutedinosaurs @ivelovedhimthroughworse @brilla-brilla-estrellita @drowninginships @bachusekart @the-beard-of-edward-teach @j-trow-95 @leithillustration @fiend-for-culture @skeedelvee @bookishbroadwayandblind @bookish-bogwitch @best--dress @mooncello @orange-peony @talentpiper11 @sillyunicorn @martsonmars @wellbelesbian @onepintobean @hushed-chorus @palimpsessed

[10thmusemoon]

Since you are one of the leading experts on YQY, I wanted to ask your opinion on the 5 year gap, when SQQ was supposed that.

I was wondering why YQY at one point, after so many failures from LQG, didn't just go by himself to retrieve the body.

Like, the novels don't say anything about his mental state in that period, the same way we don't know how he was after thinking SJ gone the first time. What do you think?

Like, rationally of course he couldn't go and retrieve the body, for diplomatic reasons and shit, but would he really care, if his beloved xiao jiu was on the line? And, I mean, he already subdued a heavenly demon once, if he and LQG were to join forces, they could def steal the body back.

I tried to search a bit, but atm I haven't found a fix about that precise moment in time either. What's your thoughts?

I remember the book mentions something about him being in seclusion or training and then having to abruptly leave that when the realms start splitting. When we see him again I think LQG is feeding him spiritual energy to maintain the sect’s barrier? I vaguely remember It’s implied he’s like tired or drained or something and he’s sitting?

I haven’t finished my reread but I always assumed he qi deviated again (though not to the same extent) or went into seclusion due to his grief. This was, after all, the second time he thought SQQ had died. But this time it was ‘real’ something they all saw and not just the rumors of some surviving servants outside a burned down house.

Maybe a part of him hoped LBH would succeed in bringing him back, he had a front seat view to what heavenly demon blood was capable of, maybe a small part of him hoped LBH would succeed. Or maybe he was strengthening himself to the point where he could draw Xuan su long enough to retrieve SQQ’s body. LQG wasn’t weak, his continued failure was a barometer of YQY’s own strength and where he needed to be to win and live long enough to return to the sect.

YQY’s whole thing is that acting impulsively ruined his life, he second guessed and forces himself to move slowly and with a level head. When he’s near death he mentions something along the lines of maybe he should have acted impulsively, so it was a thought he had at one point. Whatever he wanted to do had to be weighed against the responsibilities he already had and the reality of the situation.

After all, what would happen if he failed? SQQ’s body would remain with LBH and his would never rest. I don’t think that was a risk he was willing to take. Dying? That’s fine! SJ losing his place in the cycle of reincarnation? Not so much.

[cameronspecial]

Let Me Tell You Something, Angel

Pairing: Frat!Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: N/A

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.7K

Summary: Rafe is a fictional man written by a woman and he never fails to remind Y/N of that.

A/N: This has a slight Twisted series spoilers.

Masterlist

It is no secret that Y/N loves reading, especially romance books. Sometimes she just needs a break from the academic side of life and to dive into another world. People said the books would give her high standards; she argues Rafe is the one who did that. He treats her like a fictional man written by a woman. However, there are times when she needs a reminder that he really is a fantasy come true. She is rereading one of her favourite series and it gets her thinking about her own relationship. She rests the open book on her chest, looking up at Rafe. He is sitting with his back against the couch while she lies down with her legs across his lap. “Rafe, what would you do if we broke up?” she questions. His eyes flick toward the book on her chest and he easily pieces everything together. “I would tell my dad that I won’t take over Cameron Development and move across the world to beg for your forgiveness. I would learn hundreds of ways to kill a man and a hundred more where I can make it look like an accident. I would abandon my dream vacation to keep you company. And finally, I would write you millions of letters begging you to come back home.” He doesn’t even look away from the game on TV throughout the whole declaration, telling her he has this response memorized and ready to go.

Her brow arches, “Did you read the Twisted series, Rafe?” He smirks at her. “Maybe I have, maybe I haven’t,” he teases, running his hand up and down her calf. She sits up to look him dead in the eyes, “Seriously, tell me the truth. When did you read it?” “After you finished reading it and would not stop obsessing over it. I had to know what my angel loved so much and see if I could use it to make her happy in real life,” he apprises. Butterflies fill her stomach, “How come I didn’t notice you were reading my books?” He holds up her phone to her and gives it a little shake. “Because I would read it when you weren’t home. And I didn’t love it 'cause you know I like reading a physical book, but I would read the ebook I downloaded when you were around.” “You sneaky bastard,” she giggles, giving him a little shove. “You read porno magazines because you didn’t like digital stuff and you are telling me that you bought an ebook just for me.” 

Rafe turns her so that she is snuggled under her arm. His lips press to her temple, “I used to read porno magazines. Now, the only thing I need is you, Angel. I did do all of that. You mean the world to me and if you like something, I want to know why.” 

“You didn’t have to do that just for me.”

“Let me tell you something, Angel. You are my whole world and I will do everything within my power to learn more about you. Even if it’s not related to something I like or my hobbies.” 

“That’s really sweet. I feel bad that I don’t do the same thing for you,” she pouts, guilt filling her to the seams. His eyebrows form a wrinkle, “Don’t worry about it, Angel. You do it all the time without realizing it. You come with me to golf even though I know you aren’t at all interested in the game. You know all my favourite things and you come to all my events.” A small smile starts to form on her lips. “It’s not as much as you do though,” she worries. He rests his palm on her cheek, “It only seems that way because you don’t need to put as much effort into doing it. It happens flawlessly.” Y/N doesn’t know how Rafe always has a way of making her feel better, but she is so thankful for it. She nods and sets her book on the side. “Thank you for making me feel better. Can I watch the game with you?” He grins, “Of course, Angel.” There are a lot of things that they love about their relationship, except their effort in reciprocity has to be both of their favourite things. 

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming

[penultimate-step]

It's interesting to think about how the publishing schedule of serial fiction interacts with people taking inspiration from it. With ordinarily published works the timeline is clear: a popular work comes out, people enjoy it, and in the coming years you see new works being created that were influenced and inspired by the previous work. But with long running serial fiction, people end up inspired not by a totality of a work but by a portion of it.

They then end up creating and publishing their work at the same time as their inspiration is publishing . One example that comes to mind is the manga publishing industry; there are dozens of writers who cite long-running series like One Piece as massively influential to them. But most series don't run for decades like that one does! There are writers who grew up reading that series, who became professionally published adults writing a series inspired by it, and then had that series finished before OP even got close to completion! There are series now inspired by those series, OP is potentially competing for attention and sales with its great-grandchildren at this point. So when trying to trace back lineages of inspiration, things are muddled, because real life is never quite so simple as to have distinct generations of work.

And it raises to me the question of what exactly is the base unit of a work, what is required before people will take it as foundational to their writing? It's clearly less than a whole work, what does define it?

This becomes even more clear I think when looking at non professionally published writing; webnovels and especially fanfiction. In these spaces there isn't nearly as much of an expectation that a work will necessarily be completed at all, no matter how much time passes. So even more than in published serial work there is a sense of judging something as it is, in an in-progress state.

I just started thinking about this recently when I went back to reread a fanfic that I know inspired a lot of copycats, and without question I would rank it as one of, if not the, most influential fic in the fandom. And then I realized that it achieved this status despite having never reached any climaxes or resolutions for character and plot arcs; it did not need to be anywhere near completion to spread its ideas. And with the author having backed away from the fandom for almost a decade probably this is the state in which it would remain.

Thinking about how there are examples of fics that have spread their ideas and characterizations based on comparatively little content, and what this means in terms of what is required for influence. Previously I mentioned that fanfic readers have more of a tendency to judge things in their in-progress states. Perhaps, as a part of this, these spaces prioritize interesting concepts and hooks more than other spaces might? Just at a guess. I think it's interesting that we have these situations that show the edge cases of what is required for things to catch on in the collective thoughts of communities.

[moonlitbeth]

the Valleydream Bloom yapping session, hear me out on this one please. share your thoughts, too!

as someone who lives for lore and every little reference, i'm always picking apart each piece of content we get in the game. but tbh, i mostly do it in my head, since my brain's too overwhelmed to turn those thoughts into words. it's basically a cliché detective board with red strings connecting one clue to another (you got that It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia reference).

but i can't stay quiet after finishing Valleydream Bloom. perhaps it's becoming a bad habit to say that each new Sylus' card is better than the last, but honestly? that's a pretty logical conclusion given how their relationship keeps evolving.

after Where Hearts Live, i saw some discourse popping up abt the recent cards starting to feel "repetitive" — flowers, grasslands, them lying in said flowers and grasslands. but here's the thing: when you have one limited myth and one anecdote, with scattered hints and fleeting phrases open to a thousand takes, there's only so much room to work. and yet, Sylus' team keeps delivering and adding new layers to his character, expanding old themes into fresh ones, and leaving more clues for future content. that's top-tier writing and clear devotion to his character, my dears. ppl have gotten used to fast, easy-to-digest content that's stripped of any real depth. a nod to a character’s core topics? that's gold, not just some shiny fluff. and Valleydream Bloom hit me with such raw honesty and bittersweet ache that i needed to reread the story three times through tears.

we got everything we wanted, from the story itself to the kindled part. the main story Sylus is back, delivering this perfect power couple dynamic with MC — playful and so well balanced with the Sylus we see in the beginning of the card, who goes to the movies and puts his beloved's comfort over his own (tho i can't help but laugh imagining this grandpa grumbling abt his knees after).

and the part where he buys the castle after the mission? that detail isn't even abt his absurd wealth, it's abt his long-term intentions and faith that what’s deep-deep inside matters more than what’s outside. that someday, once MC's memories return, they'll both share the true meaning of that castle and the secret spot next to it.

🐉 and now to the main course... (the course is quite chaotic)

Sylus repeatedly cut off parts of himself that defined who he was, but now, he's embraced every piece — the "dragon" parts of his attire, the book of myths, and the undeniable traits of his true nature. but most importantly, the words he says:

"This is the perfect place for dragon tales. Dragons make homes in flower-covered valleys. If a dragon knows it will die soon… It flies to a valley far from its kin and waits alone. In the dragon's final moments… flowers will bloom from its body. Only when the flowers cover every bone does the dragon pass away."

it's not a dragon tale, but his tale, his story. at least the happiest part, wrapped in careful metaphors, told in a place that mirrors his final resting spot, where he died in MC's arms. the valley of the past has become the valley of the present.

and please, this? It flies to a valley far from its kin and waits alone (present) — We fly over the black obsidian chapel and crash into a valley filled with blooming datura (myth).

it hurts. even in their shared dream in Abyssal Blossom, before "justice" was ever served, he showed her this valley, almost as if he knew what was coming. and right before his death, he took MC there again to share the solitude of death with his beloved.

also, the idea of death that gives birth to new life — flowers that bloom from the dragon's body. his body nourished the soil and turned death into beauty. given that, it feels like the whole Blossom Escape event fits Sylus so perfectly (i mean, this man's soul smells like flowers).

this post is getting so long and chaotic that i can't fit all my thoughts in (i did warn you). but i'll say this — the card is a major piece and not a filler banner. huge kudos to the writing and dev teams, they deserve a round of applause, while we deserve a solid pat on our backs, because i can't stop thinking that smth painful and heart-wrenching is coming soon for us, Sylus mains 🐦‍⬛

[lacanianism]

love your blog, thank you for being here at the perfect time in my life. started off reading The Making of Counter Culture by Theodore Roszak which partly goes into Lacanian and Freudian thought via the philosophical conflict between Marcuse and Brown. now i'm constantly on the prowl to do more research after i feel this is connecting new and fun neurons in my brain. any favorite books or required reading?

This is so awesome psychoanalysis absolutely feels like connecting new neurons that's exactly it.

Ok, I don't care. no 'under the cut' you all must look.

To start, one of the most foundational texts for contemporary lacanian psychoanalysis (and me..) is Joan Copjec's Read My Desire: Lacan Against the Historicists. Don't start there. I will get into it later, it's not beginner reading but you do need it, so, please get there for me.

Learning Lacan does mean learning and re learning, reading and reading again, because there's nothing you fully understand the first time around literally nothing. Everything is more nuanced and twofold [threefold, four] than you think, and when you hear a concept and think you know what it means off the bat you are definitely wrong.

This said, you can start with The totally introductory book: Psychoanalytic Film Theory and The Rules of the Game by Todd McGowan. It's easy to read theory put in simple terms. This is the most basic introduction to Lacanian theory you can get, and it uses a filmic example/real world scenario to explain each point.

OKAY. From here on I'm assuming you've read it and are ready for more nuanced takes on those concepts [desire, fantasy, enjoyment, demand, the real, the symbolic order, the imaginary, the lost object.]

Now you need some Slavoj Žižek (sorry guys but he's a great Lacanian). Here is a chapter from Žižek's The Metastases of Enjoyment called David Lynch, or, the Feminine Depression. You can read How to Read Lacan–though I haven't and don't have a link, I've heard it's great. I don't know what you like. I got into Lacan through analyzing David Lynch movies so , loll...An important Zizek book is The Sublime Object of Ideology (sublime object archive.org link, available to borrow with print disability access) IMO a very important chapter is How Did Marx Invent the Symptom? [GD link] Then some more: The End of Psychology, Melancholy and the Act

Now try some Zupančič (she's a student of Žižek's) you can read Ethics of the Real: Kant and Lacan [GD link] this book is awesome. Zupančič draws parallels between Kant and Lacan's work, and makes clear how Lacan accounted for much of what Kant didn't. She also welcomes Kant as a sort of psychoanalytic thinker avant la lettre.

NOW you can read Read My Desire. This book will change things. It's the most satisfying rhetorical blow against a philosopher (foucault) that i could imagine. Copjec tears him apart (specifically his 1970s era: anti-psychoanalytic, dynamics of power, etc.) and, like Zupancic with Kant, explains how Lacan accounted for much of what Foucault couldn't. After you read it, reread it.

Then maybe some Mladen Dolar. He's tough but you'll get a lot out of it. Here is Lacan and the Uncanny and I just finished Cogito as the Subject of the Unconscious [GD link] [The whole book Cogito and the Unconscious which features Zizek, Zupancic, Dolar, et cetera, is here on JSTOR].

Okay that's enough for now come baaack if you need more

[sineala]

Lots of love to you Sine💞💞 you are always my favorite stony writer! And I also enjoy your comic reviews so much <3

I’ve been rereading Straight On Till Morning these days, and it’s still one of the best ST AU fanfics I’ve ever read. How’s the sequel going? (I know this question has been asked before😣 hope it will not disturb you!) I’m really looking forward to your new stories!

Wish you and your wife all the best! 🥰🥰🥰

Hey! Sorry it took me a while to get around to answering this; I got this ask on US Election Day and there was, you know, kind of a lot going on at the time. It's very sweet of you to wish me well and I also hope that you are well. I feel like I am doing about as well as most people I know. I am surviving.

I am not sure if you saw this answer from a couple months ago to the last person who asked me about Star Trek AU progress. At that point, I was working on the last scene of Chapter 4 and by the end of the month I had finished the last scene of Chapter 4. The chapter -- as well as Chapter 3 -- is 60,000 words long; the last scene of that chapter is 20,000 words long, so it did take me until the end of October to get that wrapped up. Some of this will probably come out in editing. But I am pretty excited about having gotten that far because the last few scenes of the chapter were the ones I originally wanted to write the story for, so those have been living in my head for about seven years. (I do not think I can describe why I wanted to write them without spoiling the entire plot, but it involves making a harrowingly terrible decision for a very noble reason and then having to deal with the consequences.)

My draft is currently up to 190k and is easily the longest thing I have ever written. I know people who are not me would probably post some of this as a WIP but that is not happening for a few reasons. One is that I am the exact opposite of the people who are motivated to write more by getting comments on a WIP; I tried posting a WIP once and it just made my brain go "okay, cool, I have received feedback, my need to write this story is now sated." Two is that I like to foreshadow things and I keep having to go back and readjust events in the previous chapters to make them make sense with the plot. Three is that if I posted up to the last finished chapter I have, you would all want to knock me down and rifle through my pockets to find the rest of the story, and the rest of it only exists in my head.

So I'm working on Chapter 5 (out of 6 total). Chapter 5 here is the big action chapter where hopefully all the story wraps up. I started that at the beginning of November, got about 15,000 words in, and then I got derailed by, uh, major political events, and then also unexpectedly spending the second half of November being ill with some random virus that was neither covid nor the flu. So that meant I didn't get a whole lot of words in. So far this month I have had a two-day migraine so, uh, we're not starting out great, but that means there's plenty of room for improvement.

But I am still going! I may end up finishing some other stories in the meantime -- it is now holiday exchange season and I want to see if I can get anything written for anyone's stocking in the 616 Steve/Tony server -- but I promise I am working on this.

[writervett]

I think I became a better writer because of smut.

Alternative title: Being a pervert made me a better writer.

I started writing smut very extensively to cleanse my brain between longer projects. Something short, self-contained, and actually capable of ending. That was the bar.

It also helped that a lot of my readers were pretty horny.

Somewhere in the middle of all that depravity, I accidentally got better at writing. Not just smut, everything. Even the boring, “respectable” stuff which I focus on seasonally.

Here’s what I think worked in my favor:

1. It’s short. You can actually finish it.

The average smut fic is like 3k–10k words. There’s a beginning, a middle, and an end.

That size made it easy to finish something, look back, and see what was working or not. You can spot pacing issues. You can tell if the scene drags. There’s no hiding behind plot arcs or “you’ll get it in chapter 19.” You either land it or you don’t.

Also: they’re fun to reread, doubly entertaining when they're really bad. Which helps when you’re trying to figure out if your writing actually holds up, or if you just got high off your own premise.

2. You have to pay attention to the stuff most people skip

Writing smut means you can’t get away with hand-waving your way through physicality. You have to actually think about bodies. How people move. Where things are in space. Timing. Pacing. Silence.

It forced me to focus on things that most fiction just glosses over — either because it doesn’t matter, or because the author didn’t know how to deal with it. But when you’re writing sex, those details are the whole point. You screw them up, and everything falls flat.

Now I catch myself carrying that over into scenes that have nothing to do with sex. I pay more attention to tension, rhythm, how people respond to each other. It’s useful. Accidentally.

3. Writing intimacy makes you better at writing people

Sex scenes are just like any other scene. High-stakes, emotionally charged, awkwardly vulnerable scenes. Which is to say: extremely good writing practice.

You end up thinking more about what each person wants, what they’re hiding, how much control they have, and what shifts in the interaction. You can’t be vague. You have to commit. If the tone is off, it’s obvious. If the stakes feel fake, it reads like parody.

All that translates. Emotional tension is emotional tension, whether it ends in a kiss, a fight, or someone walking out of a room.

Anyway. That’s how it happened (and how I've justified it in my head lol.)

I didn’t do it on purpose. I just needed something short and mildly unhinged to break up the endless swirl of ambitious projects. But it stuck....and somehow, I got better. That’s all. 🫶

(tl;dr - Don't be guilty for writing smut, you might even come out a better writer from it. 😂)

[wehangout]

Shameless DVD Commentary

The wonderful @i-think-you-mean-reduction asked for a DVD commentary on Suncatcher! This was the first time I'd read it since finishing, so that was a lot of fun, too! This whole thing got away on me, so hit that read more if you want to read more 💜 as usual, thanks to @callivich for starting this awesome idea!

Which fanfic is your DVD commentary about?

Suncatcher!

Give us some stats - (when you wrote it, word count, how long it took to finish, is it a one-shot/multi-chapter, etc)

Okay, I started posting this in March of 2022, which leads me to believe I started writing it in 2021 (I'm on a borrowed laptop, so can't check). It took some time to finish because ~real life~ and word count hits 58,592.

What was the initial inspiration for your story?

Oooh, okay. This post. If you don't want to click, it's a text post saying "au where thief!cas tries to ride dean's dick and keep track of when his flashdrive is done stealing the contents of dean's computer at the same time". Obviously, that kind of scene never happened in Suncatcher, but vibes, you know?

If the story is written from a character’s POV, why did you choose this character?

Mostly Mickey because almost everything I write is Mickey pov. But I did experiment with this by writing those 3rd person Ian snippets, and literally the only reason for it is so the reader could be there for that moment of realisation when Ian figures it all out.

What was your favourite scene to write?

I don't know that I have one, but I really enjoyed the scene where Mickey asks Ian to come to Mexico. Getting to write them being soft, even just for a minute, was nice. And literally any of their flirty banter was fun to write lol.

How did you come up with the title?

I feel like this doesn't need an explanation, lol. I will say, though, I had three other titles in mind. I had "Denouement", "Encontrar", and "Atrapasol". Encontrar means "to find" in Spanish (because I knew it would end with them in Mexico), while "Atrapasol" means "suncatcher". At least, according to Google translate lmao.

Are there any little moments or references you hope readers will notice?

I did a reread in order to write this commentary, so, please, have a list of moments, foreshadowing, and references.

* Mickey's nautical-themed sleeve! “Sailing? Nah, man. I just really like pirates.” Get it? Because he's a thief? And pirates steal shit? Literally no one caught onto that haha * “Uh … growing up the way I did, I’m probably better at the B&E itself rather than tryin’ to solve it.” -- Mickey literally says this in the first chapter lmao * His mind doesn’t go over every detail of the North Side burglaries and he doesn’t obsess over the thief committing them. No thief. Just a bartender. Just Mickey. -- Um, hello? * “Never gonna give that up, are we?” “Never gonna live it down.” “Those aren’t the lyrics.” “Okay, lyric police.” -- 27 Dresses, thank you * Ahh, Mickey's blowjob tattoo. The amount of erotic tattoo designs I looked at for this, but nothing was right. Until Mitch 💜 * He snorts. “Clearly you don’t know many writers.” “I don’t. Should I?” “No. They’re the worst.” -- I'm dying 😂 * Well, this really has turned into a commentary, huh? Apologies. * "A little dry, to be honest." Chapter 3 and 9. Did anyone catch that?

Was there anything you struggled to write? If so, how did you overcome this?

The last two chapters. Life completely turned upside-down on me and I couldn't write a thing. Zero motivation, infinity depression. Then, at the beginning of this year ... I dunno. I don't know what happened, but suddenly I was writing again and I haven't stopped yet.

Favourite line in the story?

“Catch me if you can, motherfucker.”

“Two, I give you the keys to the cuffs and leave. But first I suck your dick until you come down my throat.”

“I’ll give you what you want, Red, you just have to decide what you want more; the thief, or his mouth?”

“I didn’t do anything,” he whispers. “You did everything, Ian.”

“Interesting,” he says. “I was already half in love with you by then.” 😭

“I’m gonna fuck you now. You know that, right?” You groan and drop your head. “You might just break my fucking heart if you don’t, Gallagher.”

“So long as that lover is you, Gallagher.”

Did the storyline change in any way as you wrote the story?

Yeah, but only chapters 9 and 10. Initially I was going to write Ian having a depressive episode and Mickey talking to him about everything while he was down, but I hated the idea. I didn't want it to seem like Mickey/the thief was the cause of his episode, and I also didn't want to use it as a tool. The idea changed into a possible attack on Ian, but that still wasn't working for me. So, instead, you got the scene with Mickey handcuffed and Ian asking questions. I switched the vulnerability around and made it way more fun.

If you are writing a particular trope or genre, was it your first time writing this?

Nah. A little crime with my romance is my go-to lol

What are you most proud about in the story? (plot, characterisation, dialogue, twist/cliffhanger, etc)

Finishing it. Kidding. Kinda. Not really.

Actually, though, the dialogue and banter is pretty good. It reads very natural, so I'm proud of that.

Are there any deleted scenes that didn’t make it to the final story?

Only what I mentioned above. I wrote the attack on Ian, Mickey sitting with him in hospital ... it wasn't good.

Are there any ‘behind the scenes’ info you’d like to share - e.g. what’s going on in a characters head in a certain scene or how you came to write a certain line?

Oh, the moment where Ian finds the camera and leaves it. He'd just heard Mickey tell him that he stopped watching before things got interesting, and that's what he's thinking about as he puts the camera back down with a smirk. About Mickey not stopping just as things get interesting. I had thought about writing it, too. A scene where Mickey doesn't close the laptop, working consent into it and Ian putting on a fucking show

Reading back the story now, is there anything you’d change or add?

I don't think so. I'm pretty happy with most of it.

Would you ever write a sequel to this story?

Kinda did. Wouldn't be opposed to doing more. All the cream pie banter I'm rereading is def giving me inspo for if I write more of them oops

Are there any ‘easter eggs’ in your story - e.g. references to other stories you’ve written, a trope you often use etc?

I think I mentioned this in the commentary for Thicker Than Forget, but Jim Morrison/The Doors lyrics. I don't know, man, it just works for me haha.

Also the name thing - Gallagher/Ian/baby and Mickey/Mick.

There's also the line "It’s gone from bartender and customer having a bit of fun flirting and teasing, to silk sheets and Nine Inch Nails pounding through the speakers." - The NIN might be a reference to Help Me (Tear Down My Reasons) 😏 iykyk

Were you nervous or excited to post this story?

Excited. Probably more excited to post ch2, though, just for the reaction to Mickey being the thief haha

Did you have a beta or a friend who helped you as you wrote?

@whaticameherefor always 💜

Ask your followers to pick a snippet (no more than 500 words) and share your thoughts about it.

@i-think-you-mean-reduction asked for the scene where Ian asks Mickey on a date which I've pasted below.

A couple of notes on it:

The Riverwalk Cocktail Festival is a real thing in Chicago

I put a stupid amount of research into finding them the perfect date and this just fits.

Reading it back, I love that the Mickey doesn't think of the thief or anything to do with that shit once during this conversation. It's just two guys who like each other, and one's asking the other out on a date. It's just happy.

I think Mickey was so surprised that Ian was asking him out that everything he said and felt and thought was genuine. He even has a moment of "Fucking finally" that he doesn't mean to say, but 100% means.

I'm sad they never did it.

“Just my gut.” He pauses. Smiles. “Speaking of … in the interest of trusting my gut with my personal life as well as my professional life, have you heard of the Riverwalk Cocktail Festival next month?” Your heart skips a beat. Yeah, you’re heard of the fucking festival, and you can’t believe Ian’s doing this. “I’ve been a few times,” you tell him. “Sandy and I go under the pretence of work, and then get shit-faced.” “Okay, so do you maybe wanna go again?” He fingers go back to the coaster, but again he keeps eye contact. “But, you know, with me instead of Sandy.” There’s nothing romantic about the Riverwalk Cocktail Festival unless you go to the Riverwalk Cocktail Festival with romantic intentions. If you go with a date then it’s stupidly fucking romantic and you and Sandy used to talk shit about those assholes every chance you got, but … But the idea of being one of those couples, of going with Ian and having it be romantic … it makes you sick to your stomach how much you like the idea. “You askin’ me on a date, Gallagher?” He stares at you, eyes wide and honest. “Yeah.” “Fuckin’ finally.” You don’t mean to say it. You think it and you mean it, but you don’t mean to say it. Ian’s smile, though, makes the slip worth it. “So that’s a yes?” “Yeah.” “Good.” He smiles. Fucking beams. “Because I’ve already bought tickets, so I would’ve been kinda fucked if you’d said no.” “You already bought tickets?” “Some might call it presumptuous; I call it optimistic.” You shake your head. “Ian, man, those tickets are expensive as fuck –” “Doesn’t matter.” “Matters. At least let me pay you back for mine.” You already know he won’t let you pay for both of them. “Not a chance. This is me trusting my gut, asking you out, and feeling really good about it.” A smile pulls at the corner of your mouth. “Oh yeah?” “Yeah.” He smiles right back. “You wanna pull me out of that good feeling, the one I get when you agree to go on a date with me, by bringing up my money woes? Or do you wanna talk about our date and agree upon matching outfits?” “You better be fucking joking.”

Anything else you’d like the readers to know about the story?

So, as mentioned above there was a good chunk of time where nothing was updated. If you were someone who left a kudos or a comment or messaged me on here during that time, or even continued reading when I finally updated, please know it meant a lot.

[tojiscrack]

on my weekly re-read of liar liar, and i was GOING TO pull an all nighter and finish it all, but i feel asleep before i could 😞😞

ANYWAYS!! i find it so funny that throughout the first chapter (and even later chapters, but not as much) its mentioned (and made very obvious) that y/n is a little devil child, that can be too much to handle, but never w megumi. like, idk how to explain it, but hes never thought shes “too much”, and lets her do what she wants, just puts his input in (like when she switched classes, he didnt feel overly annoyed by it, just told her that she was gonna get in trouble) (i might be wrong about this LMAO) youve written them in a way that they balance each other PERFECTLY, like they are genuinely soulmates.

the end scene of the first chapter is oddly one of my favourite parts of the fic, because we get other characters (albeit, minor characters, but wtv) opinions on them, and youve written them exactly like how they describe it. they keep each other in line, and thats why they work so well together.

anyways!!! i love this fanfic so sosososooos much!!! i dont understand how this isnt more popular because???? ITS SO GOOD???? literally how arent people falling in love with your writing within the first 1k words??

(also i meant to include this in a previous ask, but i forgot lol, BUT ONE OF MY FAV DUOS IN THE FIC (and in canon lfmao) is megumi and nobara?? everytime they’re together i genuinely laugh, you nailed their characters and character dynamic)

liar, liar masterlist here:

INCOMING YAP SESSION CUZ THIS ASK GOT ME SUPER DUPER EXCITED KSJSJDIWJ

WEEKLY reread? girl, stop, you’re gonna notice all the typos i cba to get rid of 🫣

HAHAHA, NO STOP, I HAVEN’T HAD ANYONE MENTION THE WHOLE ‘DEVIL CHILD’ THING SINCE THE FIRST TWO CHAPTERS WERE RELEASED 😭 and that, my friend, was months ago 🌝

so i’m so excited to just talk about this omggg!!! 😫💘

yes indeed 😤 megumi would most likely say she’s sm to handle, but really, he lowkey enjoys it. it’s the only time he can be an accomplice witness to such foolish behaviour, and not be reprimanded for it as much ‘cause he just has her to fall back on and blame. he won’t ever stop her, per se, but he’ll tell her once or twice ‘whatever you’re doing, it’s not gonna work’ or ‘don’t be dumb’, and think he’s done his part before being influenced by her 💀

‘i might be wro-’ stfu you’re right and you know it 🙄❤️

and you’re also right in it not being mentioned as much when they’re older. no, i did not forget to add it, that was done intentionally for two reasons:

they’re older now, so as much as she does what she wants with him, she’s a lot more tame than she was as a child. that doesn’t mean she ever regrets the stupid things she’s done (except for the whole mermaid thing, that is a lifelong regret she’ll always have 😭)

the idea that she’s such a menace has been established enough over the years to the point where no one feels the need to voice it. new characters probably would — someone like miss b who was introduced in the middle school chapter — but even then, she was exposed to the more tame versions of the chaotic duo. so everyone kinda silently acknowledges it, and only during crazy moments (like the tragic helicopter incident of 2016, rip satoru/suguru’s will to live 😔) will it actually be voiced (like ogi mistakenly believing that y/n didn’t start any of the nonsense that occurred during the incident, and that was mentioned cuz of the fact that she’s famously known to be so incredibly out of control).

the bonus scene for the first chapter was my fav to write as wellll (tho arguably, i say that about so many scenes, so the value of this statement is probably worth nothing 💀). bonus scenes were initially meant to be ONLY from other people’s pov, but i noticed how so many things from y/n and megumi’s childhood tgth are littered around the story, and that the only way you could ever get any insight of them is through the bonus scene since the chapters are too long to add flashbacks AND bonus scenes. i could always do a separate set of oneshots for them, but i don’t have the time for that (yk this through my horrid updating schedule) 😟

but i am so glad you’re telling me what you enjoyed — and more importantly, being specific about it. it lets me put into perspective how the later chapters (tho already planned) should be set out. your feedback means the world to me, and you deserve a million set of kisses every night for them <3333

‘i love this fanfic sosososo much!!! i don’t understand how this isn’t more popular because??? IT’S SO GOOD???’

okay brb, gonna go and find my right to exist and have the perfect life when cutie pies like you grace this earth 😖💞💓💗💞

maybe one day it’ll get bigger 😊 if that day ever comes, i’ll remember my og readers. i’ll remember the support i was given from them. i’ll remember people like you, who continuously flood my inbox with enough love to pull yank me out of writer’s block and squeeze out another chapter, how because of your long and juicy asks/messages/dms, the cycle of writing i have going on here continues, and i feel more and more proud that i even developed such a fic to begin with ❤️

‘literally how aren’t people falling in love with your writing after the first 1k words’ — errr probably ‘cause the first 1k words were just y/n trying (and failing) to explain what happens in her horror stories without stuttering 💀 LMFAO, SORRY 😭 i’d fall asleep on that carpet if i were the kids surrounding her, and they went to listen willingly.

but ugh, that’s so nice of you, i’m gonna siwjosnwidjwjd

AND OMG YOU’RE SO RIGHT

like everyone talks about yuji/nobara, or yuji/megumi, bUT WHAT ABOUT MY BEANS NOBARA/MEGUMI? they have a level of deep understanding with each other in canon (and in my fic, which will be addressed CHAPTERSSSS later) that i’d love to yap about, but i’ve already yapped enough, like you’re probably cringing rn i’m sorry 😭 another time, maybe 😔

[astonmartingf]

I FEEL THE RUSH. . . 🏁🍒🏎️

LICENSE TO DRIVE ; f1 driver!oc x platonic! f1 grid

. . . with no available seat in the f1 grid, and winning the formula w championship, katarina looks for different prospects and lands on a wec seat

amgf it's refreshing to update this, especially after finishing ybom, it's a palate cleanser for me and i love her sm, i have three drafts on ltd

"RED FLAG! WE HAVE RED FLAG— Four cars crashed into each other, reaching the barriers. All cars are pitted and the race comes to a halt."

Those were the exact words the commentators said, and before Katarina knew it the season was over before the race even began.

That was two months ago, 2015 is starting and despite winning the Formula 2 Championship, she wasn't exactly feeling like a "winner".

Sure she could appeal to join Formula 1 by now, but Katarina the mere 17 year old thought the chances were slim. Sure she's capable of pulling a Max Verstappen, but the female didn't like sharing the spotlight.

Especially not to Max, she'd rather start on a different track. Something in the same playing field, but of a different caliber. Something like the World Endurance Championship.

"ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?" Her father, Alvize Lombardi bursts out from the kitchen, facing his daughter right in front of the computer desk.

"It's just testing and I already told Ma about it. She's okay." Katarina shrugs before sending emails to three different teams. One thing about Katarina is her persistence, her need to create a space for herself, and if it means personally emailing team principals and asking about open spots she will do it.

"Ay, of course your mama will say yes she's just like you! Always racing, always busy with the cars. Slow down piccolina, we both know you'll get back on the track before you know it."

Katarina blinks, realizing how much she's been clicking reload, waiting for a response in her mail. Turning around away from the screen Katarina catches her father busy in the kitchen preparing snacks.

"You know what, you're right. I will get that seat." Standing up, Katarina wraps her arms around her father from behind.

"Thank you papa." The older male rests his hands on the smaller pair engulfing his waist.

"Now. Go bring this to the garage, or else your mother will never leave under that car she's been fixing."

"I GOT A SEAT! MANTHEY RACING!" Her excitement can be heard throughout their whole house. Her father in the kitchen swerved through the kitchen island, grabbing the female's shoulders for support reading the email in front of the screen.

"There are only two drivers at the moment, and if they don't find anyone, they say they'll give the seat to me." Katarina stares at the screen, rereading the letter word for word in case she misses something.

Eyes locked on the screen, Katarina blinks, losing focus of the screen. Only then did the tears fall from her eyes.

"Piccolina... we're proud of you. You did this all on your own." Katarina shakes her head left and right, taking comfort in the arms of her father.

"I wouldn't go far without you two– you're always there even though you don't like to see me race. I'm sorry for racing all the time."

Alvize tuts in disagreement, "Piccolina, I'm sorry you think that way. Seeing you race reminds me of when I first met your mother... wild and free. And that scares me, have you seen your mother drive?"

"Talking behind my back to our daughter?"

Katarina turns around to see her mother, blonde hair sticking out in different directions. Katarina could guess that she spent her time under her kart, meticulously checking for upgrades.

"Ma, you don't need to repair my kart for a whole year." Eyes wide, beaming with enthusiasm as Katarina watches her mother realize what the excitement in the living room was all about.

"You're racing?"

She bobs her head repeatedly, "I got a seat in Porsche Manthey Racin–"

"NO!"

"What?" Her mother's outburst caught her off-guard. "But you said yes, I told you about it."

Her mother shakes her head, “I thought you’d end up in a Formula 1 Team, not Endurance Racing. Withdraw right now.”

“Ma?” Katarina keeps her eyes at her mother, looking for the answers, an explanation at least to her actions. But before the younger female could ask her more, she left the dining room leaving Katarina frozen in the living room.

KATARINA’S LEGS BOUNCE UP AND DOWN AS THE CLOCK TICKS DOWN, marking the end of the first race in 6 Hours of Silverstone. Beside Katarina are her teammates racing for Porsche Manthey Racing in the LTGME Pro Category after being cleared to join. It was all new for Katarina, and a little bit too much.

Especially after her mother’s disapproval— something she took to heart. Her mother had been the one supporting her since she began karting, her mother who shared the same hobbies and dreams with. Her mother whom she wanted to be like, the dream of racing all began with her. And when she expressed her disapproval in Katarina in Endurance Racing, it hit hard for the female.

But like her mother, Katarina didn’t stop and instead pursued racing for Porsche, spending her summer in Germany training and testing cars. It bothered her how her mother didn’t even explain as to why she doesn’t agree with her racing. And now, at Katarina’s long awaited debut, yet her mother is nowhere to be seen.

She managed to contribute two hours worth of driving in the Silverstone track, it was unlike the cars she drove before— despite the months of training nothing could compare to the actual race, fortunately she managed to complete two hours successfully before switching with a third driver.

As the clock ticks down to the last few seconds, Katarina keeps her eyes on the leaderboard screen, looking for their team position. Just finishing behind AF Course, in second place on her first race with the team. After receiving congratulations from the team, Katarina gets ready to leave, right outside the Porsche garage her father greets her, with her mother following beside him.

“Ma! You came!” The tiredness and sore feeling leaving her body as she wraps her arms around her parents. “I thought… you don’t hate me?” Katarina bursts into tears hearing her mother’s laughter, wiping the tears falling from her daughter’s eyes.

“How could I ever hate you? I was just scared— I raced to you know. Seeing you achieve these, and race, it only dawned to me then that this was no longer a hobby, or a sport to you. I’m so proud of you Katarina, I would never hate you. I want you to be safe first, and happy, we will always be here to support you wherever you go.”

“WE’D LIKE TO EXTEND OUR WARM REGARDS TO KATARINA ANNELI LOMBARDI. We've seen your prospects from World Endurance Racing and would like to offer you a seat in Williams Racing for the 2016 Season. Signed, Claire Williams, Deputy Team Principal for Williams Racing.”

Katarina turned around, facing her parents with tears streaming down her face, “I got invited by Claire Williams.”